#posting at 2am babes!

[sadisthetic]

its the hard rock life

[biboomerangboi]

The thing about Zukka is that one of them is always going to be doing the most insane bat shit thing in the world while the other is just there to pass them the tools of destruction and go that’s nice honey.

[mnictasbcl]

Anxious android boyfriend with a critical need for reassurance but thinks he's playing it cool

Vs partner who can see his red led and the smoke

[hevanderson]

quinn and beth's relationship in glestern is better than in canon. i think the fabrays very begrudgingly decided to raise beth because, to them, abortion would be a wrong choice and also it would just be dangerous because of the technology available at the time, and lord knows puck couldn't raise a child. i think quinn's rebellious streak and criminal phase happen around beth's second birthday, and i think that quinn took beth when she moved out of her house at the start of this phase. she'll spend whatever time she's not committing crimes and being an asshole and making out with the girls at the bar to care for beth and raise her the best she possibly can. what's more rebellious than raising your daughter your parents didn't want you to have? besides, even if it took her a good while to come around to this realization, she does love her daughter. a lot. more than this entire town

[chewed-gum-87]

fucked up eating cereal in the bathroom at 2am

[taeiun]

texts w/ supernatural stray kids.

categories: gn!reader, crack, fluff, smau 　　 warnings: mentions of blood, food, & drinks; reader gets high off of rockdust (don’t question it), suggestive jokes, cheating misunderstanding, i.n. threatens to break up with reader (as a joke), swearing. sweetheart, babe, and love are used at pet names

notes: chan & changbin are werewolves, minho & seungmin are witches, hyunjin is a vampire, han is a fairy, felix is an angel, and jeongin is a fox shifter // part 2

✧ CHAN, MINHO, & CHANGBIN !

✧ HYUNJIN & HAN !

✧ FELIX, SEUNGMIN, & I.N. !

^ . _ . ^ !? i keep saying i’m not going to post bc i need to focus on school for a week but here we are. this is what i do at 2am instead of studying for chemistry. no we will not be talking about my pinterest feed

© taeiun 2023. all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, translate, modify, or claim any of my writing as yours.

[cheriladycl01]

I’d rather take my Whiskey neat - Lando Norris x Whiskey! Reader

Plot: Reader thinks she’s not good for gentle Lando Norris who has a smile bright as the morning and is soft as the rain…

It can't be said I'm an early bird It's ten o'clock before I say a word Baby, I can never tell How do you sleep so well?

You never woke up early, you went to bed never earlier than 2am and were never up before 10am. It was a habit you'd got from university and it carried over into post graduation.

For Lando, he never found it an issue. In his mind you would have the bulk of the day together and everything he needed to do for racing, like his work out of time on the sim he could do when you were sleeping. Sometimes he liked to treat himself and have a lay in with you but for the most part Lando was an early riser.

Some mornings he really just loved watching you sleep... pushing your hair back a little before placing a kiss on your cheek and leaving for his morning run round Monaco.

You on the other hand hated it, but you couldn't help it, going to bed late was just part of your lifestyle now but guilt ate away at you, feeling as though Lando deserved someone better, someone who could cater to him better than you.

Despite you coming to bed, hours later than him he always felt most content when you were there with him, even if he couldn't cuddle into you because you were on your phone, or writing on your laptop he just liked the smell and feeling of your presence on the room.

You keep telling me to live right To go to bed before the daylight But then you wake up for the sunrise You know you don't gotta pretend, baby, now and then

"Come on baby, getting up early isn't bad, it's so good for your mental and physical health and honestly i don't think you'll have these thoughts..." he's chuckle at you, sending you into yet another self-hatred spiral that makes you reconsider everything.

"Baby, you just need to fall asleep earlier, sometimes your still up when i wake up!" he chuckles at you and you'd frown, looking down again. You knew that some nights, on the bad ones that you'd be up until the sunrise, and hadn't yet slept, whereas Lando would be waking up, the golden rays across his gorgeous body.

Don't you just wanna wake up, dark as a lake? Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze? If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great But while in this world

You were salt, he was sugar. He was the sun and you were the moon and sometimes you worked together beautifully like sweet and salted popcorn, or an eclipse but other times you were at these crossroads that made no sense.

You were an introvert, and Lando could be an introvert too, but that didn't mean he didn't like to go out and party, and ... of course that was great for him and you never stopped him but sometimes when he forced you to come out with him, it felt like you were in a completely different world. All of his friends were ... well they were friends with Lando and while having their own personalities, they werent the opposite to him.

Lando seemed so happy and content with his life, especially when out with friends, maybe it was because it was the only time you could stare and not be caught because there was so much present in bars and clubs he found himself, and you never saw the adoring looks he reserved for you at home when you were both wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa in matching pyjamas.

I think I'll take my whiskey neat My coffee black and my bed at three You're too sweet for me You're too sweet for me

One of the first moments when you realised a start difference between yourself and Lando was when you first went out for drinks win London with him and a few other drivers and their girlfriends.

"And the lady ..." the bartender asks with a smirk after he'd taken Lando's order of just a coke to start off with. Despite having only been together for a month, Lando was pretty protective of your guys relationship and his arm had come around you as the bartender waited.

"Just your house whiskey please, neat" you'd asked and all of his friends stopped their conversations to look round at you. Even the bartender seemed shocked.

"What?" you asked them all wondering if you'd said something offensive or rude.

"Nothing, don't even know how you and this Muppet are together, total opposites" Carlos had laughed before turning back to Rebbeca to continue their conversation.

"Whiskey, Neat? Tough Drink" Max had said before reaching out to hand Kelly her drink.

You'd been confused but that was what had started your thoughts.

Lando Norris, was far too sweet for your ... taste!

But that was according to everyone else. Even though you were the same age as Lando, because of how you spoke and who you'd surrounded yourself with in your earlier life people thought you were already pretty mature, but placing you next to Lando made him look like a kid in a candy store and you as his mother.

Lando Norris was everything you wished you were. Bright, happy, silly, kind ... and some says you felt like you were just Dark, Dispersed, Strict and Bitter.

And you'd convinced yourself you were sucking the life out of Lando Norris.

I aim low, I aim true and the ground's where I go I work late where I'm free from the phone And the job gets done But you worry some, I know

"Come on for once cant we do something spontaneous ... and I don't know out of your comfort zone, like ... not your job" he sighed one day.

He was a little ratty from the complicated previous race weekend that you'd had to miss due to work. And then you'd been working since he'd come back... into the late of the night. But you had deadlines to meet so it wasn't like you really had a choice. People were expecting stuff from you and you weren't going to not deliver.

"Baby, you know i cant. Next week once this is due in!" you'd sighed looking over at him for a split second before looking back at your laptop.

He left, going up to bed ... sad you hadn't come up with him again.

But who wants to live forever, babe? You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate The rest of you like you're the TSA I wish that I could go along, babe, don't get me wrong

The conversation you were about to have with Lando you knew would be the hardest one you ever had.

He was so perfect, and pure and you could see you were slolwy starting to taint that. He'd started to sacrifice his sleep schedule to stay up late with you. He wouldn't hang out with his friends as much as he used to and you hated he was changing himself for you.

It didn't feel like you were with Lando Norris anymore. And that's why you got with him in the first place.

And god you loved him for those attributes.

You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait Until that day

He was bright, like a morning. Sometimes if it was around 4 or 5am and you'd just finished up with your work you'd purposely wait until the sun started to shine through the blinds just to see his back light up golden and his face smushed against the pillow his soft lips in a pout.

But you ... you were cold like a December Morning, when you would refuse to get out from under the covers and when you did slippers were a must because the cold wooden floors weren't a polite awakening.

He was soft, like a light drizzle along a pagoda where you could sit and listen to the water hit the ground for hours.

And you were a rain-storm, so harsh that when you went out in it the water would sting as it hit you.

He was pretty, so fucking pretty it hurt when you looked at him, pretty as a vine winding up the side of a castle that how flowers spurting from it.

You were the gnarly kind, with thorns that wrapped around and antient tree that looked like it was strangling the air from it.

Lando most of all was sweet, sweet like a grape when you bite into it and it has the crisp outer layer before the sweet juices explode in your mouth.

But you were like a crushed grape being made into fine wine, maybe a dry like a Cabernet Sauvignon.

And you would wait for him, maybe when he was a little older, more mature and maybe it was you who was destined to taint him and turn him into that bitter old man who had experienced the world as you had seen it.

But ... now wasn't the right time.

You would always take your Whiskey neat.

And Lando ...

Well.

He was far too sweet.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @seomako @urdad-hot @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount @styl1shl1v

[xentualzzz]

late night shopping

pairing: E42!Miles Morales x Fem!Reader

summary: you forced Miles to go to target with you at 2:00 am.

warnings: light cursing, use of mami and papi but not in a weird way, miles is aged up to 19 and the reader is 18.

miles: purple

you: pink

a/n: this is my first post so please don't judge! also, give me feedback on what you think about it.

a/n: if you want a part 2 and you want to be tagged, comment.

(part 2 is up)

_______________________________________________

You were staying the night at Miles' apartment because he didn't want you to leave.

You and Miles were cuddling in the sweethearts cradle position.

His left arm wrapped around your shoulder, your left hand on his chest tracing his pectorals and his abs, your left leg over his right, you loved being so close to him.

He was always so warm.

~

~

You woke up around 2am to Miles softly snoring.

Admiring his features as the moon illuminated his face, tracing his jawline, moving his braids off his shoulder.

'why is this man so fine?'

Anyways, you moved his hand off your shoulder and grabbed your phone.

You tapped the screen to see the time was 2:13 am.

You didn't really care about the time, you were used to waking up so early.

You scrolled through your notification center and saw that Target is having a sale on fairy lights.

'yes! finally!'

You went to the app and saw they only had one box of lights left.

'oh shit. I NEED to get these right now.'

You put your phone back down and turned around towards Miles to see him still sleeping with his back facing you.

You put your hand on his shoulder.

"Miles."

"Babe."

"Morales."

You sighed, he still didn't wake up yet.

You put you hands on his shoulder and hip and got really close to his face.

"Papi." while shaking him.

Miles turned his head towards you but not his body.

"Hm. Yes Mami?"

'oh my gosh that morning voice, and those eyes.'

Miles smirked at you.

He knew exactly what were you were thinking.

"Mami. You good?"

He flipped over towards you.

You let go of him.

"my bad, yea i'm good."

"Can we go to Target?? Pleaseeee?"

"Are you being serious?"

"Yes. Remember how I told you i've always wanted to decorate my room with fairy lights?"

"Mhm."

"There's only one more box left at Target. Please amor I'm BEGGING you to take me."

"Mami. It's like 1 or 2am in the morning. "

"I'm not going all the way to Target."

He flipped back over with his back facing you.

You put your hands on his hip and shoulder again.

"But I really want to get the last boxxx." you whined.

"And you know what I want?"

You tilted your head.

"Sleep."

"Please?"

"No."

~

~

You and Miles were walking out of Target with a bag in your hand.

"Thank you so much Miles."

Miles yawned.

"I'm still tired as hell so you owe me."

"Don't worry. When we get back to your apartment I have to something to show you."

You gave him a seductive smile as you two stepped into Miles' car.

"Oh? What is it Mami?"

Miles grinned back at you.

"I'll show you tomorrow night."

~

~

a/n: i really hope you guys liked this!

part 2 is below

edited

[daisyblog]

The Month of December

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN’s Instagram posts leading up to Christmas.

ynstyles

liked by annetwist, lottietomlinson and 2,652,871 others

ynstyles first christmas with our girly🤍🎄✨🩷 view all 8,728 comments

harrystyles My favourite girls❤️

lottietomlinson So cute 🎀 🤍

gemmastyles An exciting year for both our girls💕

annetwist I love your matching outfits🥰❤️

the.daisytomlinson 🩷🩷🩷

niallhoran Can’t wait for my Christmas visit xx

louteasdale my heart🥹

zoesugg soooo cute🩷

daniellepeazer sweethearts💞

markyyferris Aww darlings🥹💕

louisfan Grace has light hair like the Tomlinsons🥹🥰

harryfan it still surprises me in 2024 that Harry is married to Louis sister and they have a baby!!

ynstyles

liked by louist91, gemmastyles and 5,832,467 others

ynstyles 2am selfie because this mama was craving tea and toast🤰🏼 view all 11,922 comments

louist91 Poor Harold looks half asleep!!

gemmastyles I don’t miss those 2am cravings😂😂

annetwist Hope you’re getting plenty of rest my love🩷

lottietomlinson I bet you woke Harry up to make it too🤦🏼‍♀️😂

marktommo1111 You two make me laugh😂😂❤️❤️

niallhoran I don’t mind babysitting Grace if you both need some rest ❤️

the.daisytomlinson You always eat tea and toast?😂

harryfan7 dreamy😛

harryfan5 HARRY😍😍😍

ynrryfan How good does Harry look even at 2am😫😍

ynstyles

liked by j_corden, zoesugg and 803,793 others

ynstyles our type of date nights🤎 view all 6,892 comments

annetwist Save some for me☺️

jefezoff Keeping my job easy😅😂

zoesugg Omg these looks amazing😍

j_corden Look at you two all grown up😂

mitchrowland Send me and Sarah the recipe please!!

the.daisytomlinson Can we make these together for Christmas plsssss🥰

louteasdale how times change ey? from being caught making out to baking gingerbread😂

harryfan4 the dream date night💙

harryfan7 ❤️❤️❤️

ynrryfan LOVE YOU BOTH❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️🩷

ynstyles

liked by zayn, thephoebetomlinson and 4,519,701 others

ynstyles baba is growing nicely🤰🏼🎄❤️ view all 8,682 comments

harrystyles ❤️

niallhoran Aww cuties xx

zayn Beautiful photo🖤

annetwist Absolutely precious💞

thephoebetomlinson your bump🥹🥹

the.daisytomlinson can’t wait for another niece or nephew🤍

anastasiakingsnorth You’re glowing✨🥰

markyyferris I’ve never seen a more stunning couple☺️❤️

harryfan2 they’re so love in love😫

harryfan8 Anyone else see these two and realise how single they are??!!

louisfan9 Tell Louis I love him🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

ynstyles

liked by annetwist, gemmastyles and 908,652 others

ynstyles Christmas fun at auntie Lotts house🎄🫶🏼❤️ view all 7,283 comments

lottietomlinson our babies🥹🥰

gemmastyles Little cuties🥰🫶🏼

lewisburton ❤️

the.daisytomlinson aunties babies😫🥹

marktommo1111 my grandbabies💙🩷❤️

sallietommo Precious memories🥰❤️

annetwist Awww memories to last a lifetime❤️

louisfan9 They’re growing up so fast!!!

ynrryfan Have the best Christmas as a married couple and parents❤️❤️❤️❤️

ynstyles

liked by harrystyles, lottietomlinson and 4,681,721 others

ynstyles A huge happy birthday to the best brother and uncle that us girls could wish for!🥳🎈

Louis, my older brother, my best friend and one of my favourite people! Have the best day and we can’t wait to celebrate with you later❤️

The absolute best uncle to Grace and watching your bond grow is priceless. Grace can’t wait for birthday cuddles and more belly laughs because your the funniest person she knows🩷

Love you millions Lou xxx view all 9,713 comments

louist91 Thanks tiny!! Love you both so much!!xx

harrystyles Happy Birthday Louis!

annetwist Happy birthday my darling! Have a lovely day🥰xx

gemmastyles Have the best day🥳

lottietomlinson ❤️❤️

the.daisytomlinson ❤️

niallhoran Happy birthday lad!!

louteasdale happy birthday babe🤍

louisfan7 HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUIS🎉🥳🧁❤️

louisfan4 The bond these siblings have is so beautiful💖

harryfan3 Happy birthday Louis!! Have the best day/Christmas❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats@harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour@bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl@buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream@treehouse-mouse @mrs-anna-styles211994 @macy-tpwk @mrs-anna-styles211994 @fruity-harry

[youaremystar1024]

My sweet juice

♡ : SMUT! MDNI! Wooyoung turned you down on your date again due to his packed schedule. So you decided to take matters into your own hands, but guess who overheard everything?

Pairing: Wooyoung!Idol bf x Y/N!fem

Note: Wooyoung's post turns me on so bad 🤧TELL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE So I decided that I had to write this at 2am...Ok I'll shut up now, good night 💗

Part 2 is out...

------------------------☆--------------------

: Sorry babe...I gotta record at joong's tonight. I promise I'll make it up to you!

: I love you, my little devil 💗😈

You stared absent-mindedly at your screen, disappointed by Woo's text. You couldn't believe he missed one of your dates together again, the second time this month. Of course you understood how much the comeback meant to Wooyoung, but what about spending quality time together like any normal couples do...

You let out a heavy sigh and slumped onto your shared bed. Your heart ached as you thought about Wooyoung, realizing how much you missed him. The desperation slowly turned into lust. You felt your body shiver, especially the part between your bare thighs.

You propped yourself up against the headboard and exposed your core to the chilly air. A wet patch leaked through the thin material covering your cunt. You spread you legs wider then glided your fingers along the shiny pearls that ran through your glistening folds. You wanted to surprise Wooyoung by wearing his favorite lingerie set. The lacey, crotchless, black thong with a chain of pearls in the middle. The absolutely, sluttiest panties you own. He loved to run his tongue along the pearls, occasionally biting down on your sensitive nub. Then he would snuggle his sharp nose into the tiny bow just to stimulate you even more. The thought of your intimate sessions made you more needy. Quickly, you grabbed the transparent dildo your boyfriend got you from the nightstand. Because of how wet you already were, you easily bottomed out in one push. A loud and whine escaped from your lips. You saw the reflection of yourself from the dark tv. What a desperate slut. It's your fault Jung Wooyoung. The toy continued to slip in and out of your soaked hole. You thought this was the best solution to distract yourself from thinking about your boyfriend. To fuck yourself senseless. Suddenly, you heard odd clicking sounds coming from the living room. Then the sound of footsteps pacing around the house. But you were too immersed so you decided to ignore it. If you don't get off soon enough tonight, you fear you really might explode. The pace of the sloppy dildo quickened as it slammed harshly into your pussy. With each thrust, the toy explored deeper areas in your gummy, tight walls. It went so deep, stimulating all your sweet spots accurately, still not as good as Wooyoung. At that point, you weren't even embarrased about the lewd, wet squelching sounds and the pornagraphic breaths coming out of you. You repeated again and again until you felt the familiar feeling of pleasure. Ha...hahn..I-I'm so close...You sighed out as the knot in your stomach attempted to release. After a few more pumps, you reached your climax. Your delicious juices spurted out of your pink and clenching hole. The white stickiness covered your pussy in the most appetizing way, just like icing. Some of it dripped past your thigh, soaking your short skirt. You sighed, satisfied as you soothed your pulsing pussy, spreading the nasty slick around your folds. You could smell the scent of sex surrounding your room with the side of Wooyoung's light fragrace on the bedsheets.

Feeling slightly better, you cleaned up the mess and decided to go grab yourself a drink. As soon as you stepped into the living room, you were greeted by the familiar figure of your boyfriend.

Wooyoung looked up at you after feeling your presence approaching him. His long and silky hair rested in front of his eyes, hiding them from sight. Y/N... , he spoke, I am so sorry for missing our date...but my sweet devil. Can't even wait for me to get home...that was so fucking hot puppet.

He continued, Did you know how hard it was for me to keep quiet, listening to all those pretty sounds you're making...without me?

You opened your mouth then closed it again. Still shocked by your lover's appeareace that you seemed to have forgotten how to form proper sentences. How long has he been listening? Does he always speak with such a dirty tone..?

Wooyoung smirked at your expression and watched you from behind as you attempted to avoid his dirty comments. Walking to the kitchen to help yourself with a cup of orange juice.

Love... , Wooyoung murmured.

Uhh, yes?

"Do you still have juices left for me?"

[hayleythesugarbowl]

Could you do headcanons for dating Shayne Topp from Smosh? I’m kind of obsessed with him rn lol

shayne topp x reader headcanons

｡⋆୨୧˚ masterlist • smosh masterlist • shayne x reader fic ｡⋆୨୧˚

a/n: ok, sorry this took so long and i hope you enjoy!! im kinda obsessed with him too ngl but shh 🤫 🤭🍒💌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

dating shayne would include…

ok so like when you were a new member at smosh he was the first to show you the ropes as the sailors say

you became friends with all of the cast really quickly 

and maybe developed a bit of a crush on shayne 

you and courtney hung out often and talked about it 

shayne immediately started liking you and constantly tried to impress you 

he was honestly so scared to ask you out 

but eventually he made the first move

everyone says that they all saw it way before you guys did 

like they placed bets on when you’d get together ian won

the man is a perfect boyfriend 

ever the gentleman

any time you even mention it being a little chilly he’ll give you his jacket 

which definitely smells like his cologne tell me I’m wrong

or put his arms around you 

he takes you out for picnics 

and long walks where you just talk 

you and shayne read together too and it’s so cute

like imagine resting your head on this man’s chest just reading into the night 

you and him and damien hang out all the time obviously 

so many game nights 

he definitely got you a card once that said “you’re my favorite pizza place”

he takes you on so many fun little adventures

posts about you constantly

he always tries to cheer you up whenever you’re upset by making you laugh 

and it works 

always rubbing circles on your back 

and EYE CONTACT 

like you’ll look over and he’s just admiring you 

he thinks (and tells you) that you’re such a creative, talented person 

he definitely played music on the jukebox at a restaurant one time and insisted you dance with him 

much to your embarrassment 

but you loved it

he actually loves it when you run your fingers through his hair 

you make each other laugh constantly 

definitely calls you babe 

he said i love you for the first time on camera because it just slipped out

he then assured you afterwards that he really meant it

“i think I’m falling in love with you y/n”

your first time reading the bible (if you got that reference i love you) he was so sweet and gentle 

he always says he’s so lucky he found you 

“No seriously, you saved me from dating. I don’t know what I’d do without you” 

he loves playing with your jewelry 

you two always win at couples games 

loves getting you gifts that are really specific and thoughtful 

he definitely lost a bet once and, dressed up however you wanted, went out in public and smiled the entire time  

he gets kinda flustered performing in front of you and everyone thinks it’s so cute 

like you’ll watch his old acting jobs together and he’s nervous about what you’ll think

but amidst your teasing you assure him he’s so so talented

you guys will fall asleep together on the couch and it’s so adorable that your friends almost don’t wake you up with an air horn and tease you for it

almost 

he just loves you so much and you’re so happy together <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀��� hope you enjoyed!! i really hope this is what you wanted (and please keep in mind that it’s after 2am as i’m finishing this lol) let me know if you want any other smosh headcanons <3🎀

[angstyx]

one where the reader donates some money to get a tts message to play? (gender neutral, wilbur, fundy, and karl or more if you can ^^)

Reactions to You Donating to Them

Includes: George, Wilbur Soot, Fundy, Karl, Tommy, Sapnap

TW: cursing, small cringe? idk

Requested?: [Yes] [No]

Note: i didnt know if you wanted platonic or romantic so i did a mix of them

also ngl this was fun and i had a bunch of ideas so let me know if you want a part 2

and hey, been a while hasn’t it? This has been finished for a while I just didn’t feel like posting it

Masterlist // Rules for Requesting ───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

George

« [username] donated $10! » “hi babe can do me a favor and go get the food I just ordered <33"

he's literally so confused from how random the message was

you knew he was streaming so of course you had to tease him

chat is laughing and telling george to listen to you and to go get the food

"[name]... you're literally in the room next to mine. You could get it yourself."

« [username] donated $10! » “shhh don't expose me like that and fyi im binge watching my favorite show rn so i'm busy"

literally deadpans at the camera

"[name] i'm literally streaming right now"

« [username] donated $15! » "aw okay :(( well no mcdonalds for you then... and i was hoping i could feed you too </3 "

blushes from your teasing

chat is going wild. i repeat. chat is going wild

[dsmp_fan] "george listen to [name] and get the mcdonalds so they can feed it to you >:/"

in the end he gave in and got the mcdonalds for you

chat wouldnt let him live the moment down but hey at least he got to eat some french fries

Wilbur Soot

« [username] donated $20! » "wilbur open the fucking door right now"

"huh [name]? what are you talking about?"

« [username] donated $10! » "i was bored so now i'm outside your office cause i want to be on your stream. now open the fucking door"

"say less"

literally RUNS to the door to open it without giving it a second thought

he was still un-muted though so chat could barely hear the conversations between you too

"why are you here [name]? and... why do you have a box of cookies with you"

"like i said i was bored and did i forget to say i'm hungry?"

"it's 2am"

"yet you're streaming?"

"touché"

Fundy

« [username] donated $15! » "babe what do you want for lunch"

"oh hey [name]! uh i'm not sure. what do you have in mind?"

« [username] donated $10! » "well we can either go out or have it sent to us"

"well i think we both know what's the better option"

« [username] donated $10! » "doordash it is. how does [your favorite restaurant/food] sound?

"perfect"

the viewers who were new to his streams were absolutely confused

was this normal? do you two usually communicate like this? with you just donating to him?

the viewers who always watched his streams were used to it

it happened almost every other stream basically

Karl

« [username] donated $30! » "KARL!! MY FAVORITE STREAMER AND MY BEST FRIEND!! :D"

a huge smile appears on his face the second he reads your donation and message

"[name]!!! MY BEST FRIEND!! HOW ARE YOU DOING?"

quackity who was in a call with karl couldnt help but fake-gasp

i mean basically everyone knows he loves to be dramatic

"KARL I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND" D:

« [username] donated $20! » "shut up quackity :/ karl is my best friend, go find a new one. oh and i'm doing good karl"

karl just laughs while quackity fake sobs and starts cursing at you

« [username] donated $10! » "karl can i join the call? it'll be easier to talk to quackity "

"uh sure... no yelling please"

« [username] donated $20! » "no promises"

the second you joined, you began cursing and yelling at quackity

like you said, no promises

Tommy

« [username] donated $10! » "hey idiot, can i join your stream"

"first of all, how dare you call me a idiot and second of all, no"

« [username] donated $10! » "why not"

couldnt help but scoff at your message as chat begs tommy to let you join

chat absolutely loves the banter between you two though it usually ended in tommy's mom yelling at him from how loud he was cursing into the mic

"because i said so"

« [username] donated $50! » "what if i give you money"

"that won't make me change my mind"

« [username] donated $10! » "okay fine :/ how about i stop being annoying to you"

he was actually thinking hard about this one

not even joking

"wait actually? hmm... what do you think chat?"

« [username] donated $10! » "hurry up and decide"

"okay fine, you can join"

« [username] donated $10! » "yay :D"

*queue you joining the call*

"I never said how long i'll stop being annoying so ha hey you bitch"

*queue you being kicked from the call*

« [username] donated $1! » "fuck you"

Sapnap

« [username] donated $10! » "did you eat my ice cream"

literally looked at the donation message for a second before immediately looking away

the guilt is clearly on his face

"I don't know what you're talking about. I never saw any ice cream in your mini-fridge."

« [username] donated $10! » "huh strange, I never mentioned it being in my mini-fridge"

oh shit

he's done for

"uh well i guessed cause i always see food in there like ice cream"

« [dsmp_fan] donated $5! » "stop fucking lying sapnap"

"how could you betray me like this, chat. I swear i didnt take your ice cream [name]"

« [username] donated $10! » "fine i believe you"

"thank you"

...

...

...

« [username] donated $10! » "you fucker i literally see the empty ice cream pint on the table behind you"

───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────

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Send in a ask or dm me to be added! | bolded means you either changed your url or your settings makes it so I cant tag you

[pillow-princess-diaries]

𝙵𝚎𝚖!𝙳𝚊𝚣𝚊𝚒 𝚡 𝙰𝙵𝙰𝙱!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

Summary:- You and your detective girlfriend find out you have one more thing in common (dazai finds out her s/o is a monsterfucker,but it’s fine because she it too😌💅🏻)

Pairing:- Fem!Dazai x Afab!Reader

Type:- headcanons/scenario

Tw:- MDNI. use of dildos(monster-dicks),vibrators and cum eating???? Overstimulation??? Begging???

A/N:- had a thoughr at 2AM so naturally i hadd to jot it down ☺️ I hope y’all like it and stay safe everyone!

Okay so i had a silly thought ☺️

Imagine fem!dazai finding out her s/o is a monsterfucker~

Imagine the two of them on Dazais bed just rambling on to eachother and then reader just says “honestly sometimes id just love to be fucked dumb by a tentacle y’know?”

And dazai just nods like “yass girll me too~” but she has this sneaky look in her eye.

-“Zai?whats up??oh no…what did you just think of🤨”

-“Oh no just…hold on”

She goes over to her closet and picks up a box and brings it back to the bed and opens it.

And lo and behold its fuckin filled with an assortment of monster-dicks.

You then look up at dazai like 😳

And all she says is “ive got way better than a tentacle babe~ take your pick”

And when you can’t pick on,she just covers your eyes and makes you pick one to try.

Imagine the rest of the night she just uses them all on you so you can find your absolute favorite…

Well at least that’s the excuse she made to get you on board.

Imagine dazai just goin to townn on you with each and ever one in the box,trying some of her favorite ones twice(just to make sure you get a proper feel for it ofc! she definitely doesnt love seeing your face scrunch up and relax as each one enters your pretty little cunt,each one a different shape,size,length and girth.)

Imagine her going so deep,it rubs against your cervix…imagine cumming so many times that at this point neither of you have kept count accurately.

Imagine her stimulating your clit with a little bullet vibrator as she thrusts the foreign shapes into you revelling in the way you moan out her name and grip the sheets,your toes curling and your back arching.

Imagine her using a vibrating one and just keeping it inside you,buried to the hilt and making u beg to have it pulled out.

Imagine her running her finger along the edge of your cunt,gathering some of your slick and demanding that you clean the mess off her fingers in exchange for taking it out of you.

Imagine by the time your done you feel so sore and exhausted that you can barely even get up to go have a post-coital shower.

Imagine waking up the next day to see that each and every one of the little gadgets had been haphazardly thrown back into their box. Only your decided favorites lying nicely cleaned and dry on your night stand.

Imagine getting just a little sweet revenge on her and buying her one she doesnt have just to use it on her until she cant walk.

Honestly I doubt she’d mind~

I mean she gets to skip work the next day, AND she gets to be your little pillow princess~ It was a win win situation!

Tag list(open):- @diagonal-queen

All rights reserved © 2023 pillow-princess-diaries. Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!

[winchesterwild78]

Behind the Scenes pt 4

Master List 

Minors DNI 18+

Warnings: jealousy, Fluff, language, SMUT, unprotected sexual contact 

A/N: You are newly hired on Supernatural. Your character was supposed to be one and done but the fans loved you so they wrote you in the story. You were supposed to play Sam’s love interest, but things get complicated when you fall for someone behind the scenes. This is a work of fiction. No disrespect to Jensen or Jared or their families. *kinda a long chapter, with a slight time jump

I edited this fast- please forgive any mistakes 

This is my original work, do not take it. 

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The next few days on set were a little strange. Everyone seemed to tiptoe around you and anytime you walked into a room conversations stopped. You felt like you were back in middle school again with a bunch of popular kids and you with a target on your back. You tried to brush it off but by the end of the second day you’d had enough. 

After your scene wrapped for the day you went to grab some food from craft services. You overheard some crew standing to the side talking. “I can’t believe Jensen is dating her. Her of all people.” One of them said. Then another one said “I know. I bet he just feels sorry for her getting attacked the other night. Did you see how she was dancing? Clearly she was trying to get noticed.” Tears pricked your eyes and your heart broke. 

Misha walked up to you “hey, Y/N, how are you doing today?” That’s when he saw your face. “Oh gosh. Y/N, are you okay? What happened” he panicked. The crew members that were talking saw you two and realized you probably heard them. They looked terrified. “Yeah Misha. I’m okay. Please let Jensen know I went to my trailer to lay down.” You said, giving him a soft smile. “Sure thing.” 

You could have told him. Heck you could have walked to the producers office right then. Why would you though. They said what you had been thinking. You were attacked because of how you acted, how you danced for Jensen. You walked to your trailer and fell on the bed in tears. You felt absolutely defeated, sad, and a little angry. Finally pulling yourself together you got in the shower. The hot water was welcomed and helped you relax some. 

Once you got out you pulled out one of Jensen’s shirts he left there and your jogging pants. The shirt smelled like him and it offered you some comfort. You turned on the tv for some background noise and you scrolled social media. 

Most of the messages and posts under your joint statement were positive and encouraging. There were, however, some that were just absolutely disgusting. Men talking about how they would have handled you at the bar, some of them going as far as to tell you in explicit detail what they would do. Your inbox was overflowing with messages. Most from men who offered to show you a thing or two. The other messages were encouraging and supportive. Some wished you and Jensen luck with your relationship. 

You put your phone down and laid your head down on the pillow beside you. Before you knew it exhaustion took over and you fell asleep. You were woken up a few hours later by Jensen. When he came in the trailer he saw you sleeping peacefully on the couch. He smiled at the sight of you laying there and you in his shirt. Jensen loved it when you wore his shirt. 

Jensen leaned down beside you and brushed your hair out of your face. He kissed your forehead “wake up sweetheart” he spoke softly. Your eyes opened and you smiled when you saw him. “Hey baby. What time is it” you questioned sleepily. “It’s after 2am. Shooting took longer than expected.” He replied. You sat up and stretched. “Oh wow. I was asleep for a while then. Did you eat?” You asked. “Yeah. Jared and I grabbed something between takes. Come on. Let’s go to bed.” He said as he helped you up.

He locked the door as you walked towards the bedroom. Jensen followed you in and took off his pants and shirt. You pulled the blankets down and you both crawled in. “Hey babe. Misha told me after your scenes wrapped for the day he saw you and it looked like you were upset. Are you okay?” He asked. “I guess I am. I just overheard some crew talking about the incident and our relationship. It wasn’t kind and it just hit me wrong.” You told him. He sat up and looked upset. “Who was it and what did they say?” he questioned. “Jensen, it’s fine. I’m okay. I know people are going to have opinions about what happened the other night and of our relationship. I can handle it.” You told him. 

He sighed but let it go. He pulled you into his arms and kissed your head. You looked up into his green eyes and kissed his lips. He deepened the kiss and you moaned. “Jensen I need you.” You whispered. He smirked. “Do you now? Tell me what you need, sweetheart.” 

You moved closer to him and started kissing his neck. Kissing him you made your way to his ear. Whispering in his ear “baby I need your lips” *kissing his ear* “I need your hands running over my body” *licking his ear* “I need your tongue licking and sucking my hard nipples” *nibbling his ear* “Baby, I need your hard cock buried deep inside me filling me with every inch.” *blowing your hot breath over his ear* 

Jensen growled and grabbed you, pulling you down and pinning your arms above your head. You squealed in delight and giggled. Jensen began kissing your lips and moved to your neck. Making his way down to your collarbone. You moaned, your toes curled. “This is what you need, baby?” he asked. “Mmhmm” you moaned. “Use your words baby girl” he said. “Yes. I need that. I need more baby please” you begged. 

Jensen played with the hem of your shirt and pulled it up. You leaned up so he could take it off. Throwing your shirt to the side he took his off too. 

The heat coming from his body was like a furnace. You were addicted to it. He unhooked your bra leaving your breasts exposed to the chill in the room. His mouth attacked your right breast and nipple while his hand cupped your left. When he sucked your nipple he sucked hard and it took you places you’d never been before. 

Your head fell back and a loud moan escaped your lips. You felt him smile on your breast. His lips trailed down your body to your pants. He hooked his fingers in the waistband and with one pull he took them and your panties down. You giggled and squirmed under his touch. Jensen stood and removed his boxers and his hard length sprang free. Jensen climbed back on the bed and kissed up your thighs. He parted your legs and took a finger parting your folds. His eyes widened when he felt how wet you were. “You’re soaking wet baby. You are ready for me, aren’t you?” He asked as he inserted a finger inside you. You moaned “Yes, baby. I’m ready for you. All of you.” 

As he pumped his fingers inside your soaked cunt, you felt your release growing. “Don’t cum yet, baby.” You groaned. He pulled his fingers out and you whined at the loss of fullness. Jensen lined himself up and pumped himself a few times. As he pushed inside you he leaned forward and kissed your lips softly. You both moaned as he first pushed in. You gripped his biceps and dug your nails in his skin. He pushed all the way in and groaned. 

Jensen stayed still for a moment. You bucked your hips causing a moan to escape from him. You smirked and he growled. “Careful sweetheart. You’re playing a dangerous game.” You smirked again and leaned up kissing him. Jensen moved his hips and set a steady pace. You moved into him. Jensen was big. His length and girth were the biggest you’d ever had. Each time he took you, it sent you to a place you’d never been. When you would cum, you would see stars every time. He was an amazing lover and you couldn’t get enough. 

Jensen grabbed your legs and threw them over his shoulders leaning further down to you and hitting deeper inside you. You reached your hand between the two of you and started rubbing your engorged clit. You moved fast chasing your release. Jensen’s length was hitting that sweet spot causing you to tumble to your release. “Jensen, I’m going to….” You came hard. Your walls clenched around his hard cock. Jensen picked up the pace chasing his release too. “Baby, I’m going to cum.” Jensen breathed out. “Cum baby, fill me up with your seed.” You begged. Jensen’s thrusts grew faster and as he came he pushed himself deep inside you. He spilled his seed, coating your walls. 

As he pulled out both of you collapsed, and he pulled you close. “I love you, Y/N” he whispered as he kissed your head. You smiled. This was the first time he had said it. Your heart beat fast and you softly said “I love you too, Jensen.” He pulled you in for a kiss and got up to grab a washcloth to clean you both up. Once you both were cleaned, he climbed back in bed and held you in his arms. Both of you drifted off to sleep. Content and completely in love. 

Time Jump 2 months

You woke up early to head to set. You character, Lilah was a regular now and the fans loved her. The running joke on set was everyone hoped she wouldn’t die because all of Sam’s girlfriends seemed to die. You went to the bathroom and got ready for the day. Walking in the kitchen you decided to make a quick coffee and breakfast before heading to set. You grabbed your to-go cup and put it under your keurig machine and pressed start. You grabbed an egg from the fridge and started to fry it up. Then a wave of nausea hit you. You ran to the bathroom and got sick. You rinsed your mouth and went back to the kitchen to finish getting your breakfast ready. When you started cooking the egg again and the smell of coffee mixed with it you were running to the bathroom getting sick again. 

“What is wrong with me?” you asked yourself. “It’s probably a stomach bug. Maybe I should call out today.” You said to yourself. Your phone went off with a text from Jensen. They were on their way to pick you up. You settled on toast and water for breakfast. You grabbed an apple for later. As you got your shoes on you heard Jensen coming in the door. “Good morning, beautiful. How are you today?” He asked. You smiled at him but he could tell something was wrong. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked as he knelt beside you. “I’m just not feeling good. I’ve thrown up a few times this morning. It’s probably just a bug.” You told him. 

Jensen smiled softly. “Okay, if you’re sure. We could always call and let them know. It’ll be fine,"he said. You shook your head no. “Come on, let’s go before Clif wonders where we are.” The two of you walked to the SUV and Clif got out to greet you. “Hey girl, how are you?” “I’m good, just not feeling the greatest today.” You offered a soft smile. As you were heading to the set you kept playing over in your head who you might have been around that had been sick. By the time you got to the studio you were running towards the bathroom again. The toast you were able to eat came right back up. You felt awful. 

Jensen brought you some water and helped you to your trailer. “Babe, I'm going to talk to the director and see if we can just shoot other scenes today. You can’t work today. You’re too sick.” You sighed because you knew he was right. “Okay, Jensen. I’m just going to lay down and wait for you.” You kicked off your shoes and laid down. Jensen kissed your forehead and left to talk to the director. 

Jared was coming out of his trailer when he saw Jensen. “Hey man, is she okay? I saw her run towards the bathroom.” “No, she’s sick. She’s been vomiting all morning. I’m heading to see if we can change the scenes we are shooting today. Hopefully she’s okay by tomorrow.” Jensen said. Jared looked at his friend and shook his head. “Dude, could she be pregnant?” Jared asked. Jensen stood there looking at his friend and laughed. “No, we used protection every time.” Jensen said. “Every single time?” Jared questioned. Then it hit Jensen like a train. That one night about two months ago after your attack the two of you had sex in your trailer. “Oh shit! About two months ago we didn’t.” Jensen exclaimed. Jared chuckled, “she could be pregnant.”

Jensen paced back and forth waiting for the PA to return from the store. He talked to a PA he has known for years and asked her to go get one from the store for you. When she knocked on his trailer he ran to the door. She walked in and said “I got a few different ones. Just so you can be sure. Some detect early, some are digital. I figured you wanted to double check. Good luck! I’m so excited for you two, and don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” Jensen hugged her and thanked her. 

Jensen walked to your trailer with the bag and went inside. He found you sleeping on the bed with one of his shirts on the pillow next to you. His heart warmed and he smiled. What if you really were pregnant with his child. He let himself get swept up in the idea of having a family with you. You started to wake up and you saw Jensen standing there smiling. “Hey baby. How's the filming going today?” You asked. “Um, it’s good. How are you feeling?” He questioned. “I’m okay. Not much of an appetite and still a little nauseous.” You told him. “So, Jared had a thought about what might be wrong. It’s crazy actually, but it got me thinking. He said you might be pregnant.” Jensen kinda chuckled. “What? That is crazy we’ve always used….Oh shit! That one time a few months ago. Oh my God Jensen, could I be pregnant? Oh I need to get a test, what is this going to do to filming if I am. Oh no!” You started to spiral. 

Jensen grabbed your arms and held you “Hey, it’s okay baby. Let’s take a test and go from there. Many women have been pregnant on the show before and it didn’t affect their character. I had Carmen get some tests so we can check.” He told you. He handed you the bag and you went to the bathroom with a small cup. You used the bathroom, collecting some urine in the cup for the tests. You opened the two tests and dipped them in the urine. Replacing the caps you set it on the counter and flushed the rest of the urine. You washed your hands and walked out of the room. 

“We have to wait about 5 minutes," you told him and he set a timer. The two of you sat on the couch and waited. At first neither of you said anything. Then he broke the silence. “Honey, how do you feel about this? If you’re pregnant, what do you want to do, or think you want to do?” You looked at his green eyes and all you could think about was you hoped the baby would have his eyes. You smiled softly “I’d love to have your baby, Jensen. Sure it’s sooner than I thought, but I have no doubt in my mind that I want to have your children.” Jensen pulled you into a hug “oh sweetheart that would make me the happiest man in the world.” 

Jensen’s timer went off and you both stood. You took a deep breath and you both walked in the bathroom. Looking at the tests you took in a shaky breath and looked at Jensen. You bit your lip as tears welled in your eyes. Jensen’s eyes filled with tears too. He pulled you to his chest and hugged you. You let out an audible sob. 

You pulled back from his chest and picked up one of the tests and read the small screen: “pregnant”. You and Jensen looked at each other and smiled. He cupped your face and kissed you. “We’re going to have a baby.” He smiled. “Yes we are.” You said as your hand held your stomach. You both looked at each other. “I love you so much, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re having my baby.” Jensen said smiling. “I love you too, Jensen. I can’t wait to have our baby. You’re going to be an incredible dad.” “Now we have to tell Jared he was right.” Jensen chuckled. You laughed. 

Jensen: Hey Jared, you busy brother?

Jared: No, what’s up. How’s Y/N feeling?

Jensen: She’s okay, still sick. Can you come to her trailer? I need to talk to you.

Jared: Yep, be right there. 

Jared knocked on the door and Jensen opened it ushering him in. “What’s up man?” Jared asked. “So, how do you feel about being an Uncle? Jensen asked. Jared stood there confused for a minute then it hit him. “Y/N’s pregnant?!?!” He shouted. You and Jensen laughed, shaking your heads yes. “I knew it! Wow, congratulations you two! Wow, I’m going to be an uncle.” He said. Jared pulled Jensen into a hug and nearly crushed him. He hugged you but was gentle. “I am so happy for both of you. Truly I am. Jens man I know you’re going to crush it as a dad, but I’m here if you need pointers.” Jared told him.

After he left you looked at Jensen and told him you should schedule a doctor’s appointment to get confirmation before you talk to the producers. “Okay, but no stunts until we talk to them.” He said. “Jens, I don’t know if I can do that. My next scene is a fight scene.” You told him as you bit your lip. “Well then we need to talk to them before we go to the doctor. We can get a stunt double in for your scenes. I’m not risking you or the baby.” Jensen said. You smiled and agreed.

“Okay, let’s go talk to them and then grab something to eat. I’m starving.” You said as Jensen chuckled. The two of you walked out of your trailer hand in hand towards the producers office to let them know about the baby. You prayed all the way there it went good. 

Tags: @nescaveckdaily  @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter

@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373 @cheynovak @jassackles  @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa @n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 @smoothdogsgirl

@hobby27 @manicjk

[grandadtwelve]

nuwho doctors ranked by fuckability (extremely subjective, inspired by several voice memos between a friend and myself at 2am, with full understanding that being the doctor implies a preestablished unfuckability):

1. tenteen/tenthree/fourteen

poses the question what if the tenth doctor was less annoying, more grown, and gayer. the answer to the question is let me take you out please please please just one chance please whatever you want babygirl I’m begging please you’re so responsible and youre working on your commitment issues and that’s soooo hot please

2. ninth doctor

deep in the trenches of his post-war trauma and blatantly in love w his best friend but also. why does he cruise. look at him he’d cruise a little bit. idk babe I cannot explain it to you I just think he’d let me blow him a little in the alley behind some alien club and then I’d never see him again. yeah he was thinking about jack/rose the whole time and then felt so guilty he left w out saying anything but it was still kinda …

3. thirteenth doctor

ok I know this is actually insane but what if I could fix her. I know this is because I’ve read way too many fics where she uses physical intimacy to compensate for being unable to give or receive verbal comfort from her loved ones and also I think jodie is hot but . what if

4. twelfth doctor

probably the doctor I’m most physically/emotionally attracted to but also he’s kind of busy. like between clara and river and missy his relationship dossier is kinda full and I’m like not needing to get in the middle of all that, nor do I think he has the desire to do more than he’s already doing. if he wants to have a little flirty thing like he did with psy though I would be alllll over that.

5. fifteenth doctor

OBJECTIVELY the most fuckable doctor. however subjectively. we are two drunk girls making out in the club like we’re having fun but this is not doing it for either of us. we are best friends and fully recognize how hot we both are but this is three minutes of kissing and grinding and then “omg….. we’re so crazzyyyyy….. that was so silllyyyyyy…..”

6. tenth doctor

yes he’s pretty but girl SHUTTTT UUUUPPPPP. one of those times where someone hot knows they’re hot and instead of it being a “confidence is sexy” moment you just want to slam a door in their face. I say all this fully aware that if he flirted w me the way he flirts with martha in “smith and jones” I would fold in an instant but I do not care. I know too much. Go pine and leave me alone.

7. eleventh doctor

listen this is not about matt smith ok i think matt smith is incredibly sexy and charming and all of those things ok. but like. absolutely not. oh my god no. no no way. the physics wouldn’t allow it the idea of even touching his bare skin above the wrist is awful.

[totally-not-childe]

id like to add something to this, a bit brighter than that angst; do you ever think that zhongli has ever known true selfishness and intimacy?

ofc this is abt zhongchi, but just imagine the first person he truly bares himself raw to is the loaded canon ginger.. ofc it won't be "too much" for childe, hes experienced "too much", and it never was quite what zhongli gave him. zhongli is caring and kind, slightly messy with his feelings since hes not used to sharing them so wholly with another being, the complete opposite of childe, brash and impatient, always trying to get things done yesterday.

zhongli, in all likelihood, has most likely only opened up to one or two people in his entire life. now that he's retired and has a boyfriend, of course hes going to try to open up. even if it means placing his heart in "that snezhnayan rascal's" hands.

one of my favorite tropes is bathing together. not in a sexy way, just being intimate and letting your partner slowly wash your entire body, silently revering it. zhongli absolutely doesn't need to bathe, adepti likely have no needs for bodily uses like humans, instead using their energy for other needs, like perfecting their crafts and protecting liyue in olden days. but zhongli isnt the prime adeptus anymore, and now hes a human, and would, of course, indulge in bathing with his boyfriend.

slowly soaking in a bath, with only the finest salts and oils, slowly being covered in soaps and gently massaged his tense muscles (how trivial, but morax has never had a true, loving massage before, had he?) after a long day, or even just to relax on a day he doesn't have to work.

another thing; people sleep only around the people they truly trust, and when they don't it's very fitful and not good. zhongli, as an adeptus, has no need for sleep, only rest, but finds himself naturally drifting off when childe sleeps, or even cuddles him. he likely dreams very deeply, not enough to forget but not lightly enough to remember, on the border of remembering feelings but not sights.

talking about his feelings is probably very delicate, but rewarding. childe understands the feelings of not having someone there to listen to his emotions, so obviously treats zhongli with care and respect, catering to helping him feel better. its messy, but healing. he's never had someone quite like childe.

and my final point: after years upon decades upon centuries of working, he should be allowed to rest. rest by the side of his lover, slowly and fully. he should be able to have days where he cant get up, because his brain is too full, to much for him, because he just needs to rest. he should be able to take days where he should just drink tea or relax, like a real person enjoying their retirement.

he doesn't need to work anymore. he's done working. just allow him to be soft and intimate when all he knew was work and stoney faces.

i know a lot of people know that zhongli - or more likely, the geo archon - prioritizes contracts, but it makes me think of how many times he's seen a contract broken, whether on accident, purpose, or forced to do so by another party or by someone's circumstances, and had to punish them. like - we all know the "wrath of the rock," the iconic line in which i've seen countless times, and that both zhongli and his life as the former geo archon stresses the importance of promises and contracts, and he goes out of his way to say that his word is "solid as stone." hell, even liyue harbor is the city of contracts. which leads me to my previous point: how many times has he seen betrayals of contracts happened, or even had it happened to himself? how many times has he had to punish someone due to a contract, even if the person was forced, or even not being able to meet their contract due to something unforeseen happening, such as poverty or an accident? how many times has he had to punish an innocent person because they were forced by someone else, the blame entirely off of them, because the actions they were forced to do fell under a contract? he must had have to punish people like this more than once, especially if he was one of the more hands-on archons. how much pain has he gone through throughout the ages just by punishing people due to contracts?

especially when he has a near perfect memory; he's remembered all the pain he's inflicted onto near completely innocent mortals.