#posting a smaller bit to motivate myself to work on this

[paradoxiii]

Sometimes I go on a tangent trying to analyze how I feel about or why I do certain things, & I often feel that by focusing on typing it out it's easier for me to actually make conclusions about the "why", but I still don't have a solution & it's kinda frustrating that I do all this analyzing about myself & still feel like a lazy disappointment to everyone around me.

[hunkpossession0]

**Found this personal trainer on Insta, I chatted a lil bit with him, and now I got his body. Poor him.**

It all started with a late-night scroll through Instagram. You know how it goes—one minute you’re just browsing, and the next, you’re sucked into the world of fitness models and personal trainers, each more jacked than the last. That’s when I found *him*.

This guy was perfection in human form. Towering height, muscles that looked like they were chiseled from stone, and a face that screamed confidence. The guy even rocked a thick, perfectly groomed mustache that somehow made him look even more masculine. His profile was full of workout tips, nutrition advice, and those motivational posts that usually make me roll my eyes. But something about him had me hooked.

“Man, if I had that body,” I muttered to myself, almost jokingly. But then the thought took hold. *What if*?

I shot him a DM, asking for some beginner tips—playing the part of the clueless newbie. To my surprise, he replied almost instantly, eager to help. We went back and forth for a bit, him giving advice and me pretending to be interested, while I worked on something far more… *ambitious*.

As we chatted, I tapped into an ability I’d been perfecting—a way to connect with someone on a deeper level. To reach out and *take* what was theirs. He had no idea that while he was busy explaining how to start on squats and deadlifts, I was making a connection that would change everything.

And then, with one final push, I felt it—the shift.

Suddenly, I wasn’t lounging on my bed anymore. I was standing in a gym, holding his phone in his hand, feeling the weight of his massive arms, the strength in his legs. I flexed one arm, watching as the muscles bulged, hard and defined, beneath the skin. My heart pounded with excitement and something else… an overwhelming sense of power.

I took a deep breath, my chest expanding with muscles that weren’t mine just a moment ago. I was in *his* body now, and damn, did it feel good. The thick mustache above my lip twitched as I grinned at my reflection in the mirror, marveling at how it suited this face, this body. I ran a hand over it, feeling the rough bristles that added an extra layer of ruggedness to this perfect form.

“Holy shit,” I whispered, my voice deep and resonant. *His* voice. My voice now.

My phone buzzed in my pocket—*his* pocket, I reminded myself—and I pulled it out to see a flood of missed notifications. But those could wait. The first thing I did was block my old account. Whoever was stuck in my former body wouldn’t be getting any help from me. They’d just have to deal with the shock of being… *me* now.

Meanwhile, across town, I could only imagine the horror and confusion on my former face as the realization hit. That once-comfortable body now felt alien, weak in comparison to what I had now. But I couldn’t waste time worrying about him—this was about me, about *living* in this body, and I intended to enjoy every second of it.

I turned back to the mirror, running my hands over my chest and abs, flexing just to watch the muscles ripple under the skin. God, I looked good. My new body felt hot, practically humming with energy, with a need I’d never felt before. The gym suddenly seemed smaller, like it couldn’t contain everything I was feeling.

An idea popped into my head, and I pulled out his phone again, quickly downloading Grindr. It didn’t take long to set up a profile—one of his shirtless pics as the main image, of course. The matches started rolling in almost immediately, the phone buzzing nonstop.

I couldn’t help but smirk at the screen. I shot a message to a couple of nearby guys, already knowing where this night was headed. The gym could wait—there were other ways to test out this body, and I was eager to explore *all* of them.

Back in that old, weak body, the poor guy was probably still staring at his reflection in disbelief, trying to figure out what had happened. But that was his problem now. I had bigger, better things to do—starting with enjoying every inch of this perfect new body. The thick mustache tickled my upper lip as I grinned wider, anticipation flooding my veins.

This was going to be fun.

[foxyaries]

My Shifting Story That Keeps Me Motivated To This Day

Well hello again! I think it is time I share my own "almost" success story. I know a lot of you might not be interested in reading about my ALMOST success. But trust me... the more I tink about my own story the more I realize how silly it was of me to procrastinate actually doing it for so long. It's almost funny. But let's get into it, shall we?

As I have already mentioned it in my previous posts (please do read them if you haven't already to fill in any blanks that you may or may not have). I have been at a very dark place at that time. And I didn't wanna live the way that I had for as long as I could remember, because I simply wasn't happy.. with my life or my family. And I felt like I was a good kid. And I was! So when I discovered the subliminal world.. I saw it as my escape and a way to finally become happy. And that's when the subliminal "Wake up in your desired family" came into picture.

Like I mentioned before, there were only a couple success stories under that subliminal, but at that time our community was even smaller compared to what it is now. And those 10 - 14k views was more than enough for me to believe that it was a real deal. It's a bit funny to think about it now because these days we tend to pick subliminals that has thousands and thousands and thousands of views? Am I right? :) That's how we decide whether the subliminal works or not.

Anyways.. back to my storytime. I have already mentioned in another post of mine that those success stories that I did see all said the same thing. That for them to start feeling the results it took them a couple months. And if you remember as well as I do. Back then everyone set a limiting belief that for a subliminal message to start working you need to listen to it for at least 21 days. Even tho that wasn't true, I didn't know much about shifting so I believed it. And I also wasn't desperate enough, so since the stories told me it took THEM 1 - 2 months, I figured it'd take me the exact amount of time. And I thought it was nothing compared to the future I was gonna have.

So all that I did for those couple months was listen to that subliminal at least 1 hour a day and sometimes if I could overnight with the idea that I could wake up in my desired family any given moment. Pay attention to that. I didn't set a deadline or put pressure on myself for doing anything wrong. I just listened and knew it was going to happen. When exactly? No idea. How exactly? Not a clue, but I didn't care. Because knowing less was actually more of a blessing than I thought. I had no limiting beliefs. All it did was awaken my inner child and that whole journey felt magical to me and I really looked foward to my results.

Probably a month passed by when I started getting tired around the same time, every single day so I'd take naps. At a time a half an hour nap was more than enough to make me feel rested and I'd get in the state of being awake yet asleep at the same time. You know what I am talking about. The state during which it feels like you are in and out of sleep. When the sounds feel like they are far far away and then they dissapear. It almost sounds like I was close to tapping in the void state, no? :)

So whenever I'd feel tired I'd just have one earbud in my ear and lay in whatever comfortable position I wanted to lay in. It usually was on my side. And I had no intention to shift because I KNEW it was gonna happen either way. So I'd lay down and just have myself doze off listening to my playlist (I had a couple boosters too but then I'd just loop the main subliminal). And then I started feeling unusual sensations and feelings I have never felt before. All I did was just lay there and day dream about how I was gonna wake up in my desired room and I tried imagining it in detail. How I was gonna walk out of my room and see my best friends that I was going to shift there with. And literally all I did was just loop that scene because it made me happy :')

I keep rambling haha I'm sorry. Back to what happened. I was probably a month in when I started to get tired and naking naps around the same time and suddenly my naps were different? I would just mind my own business, think about my future when suddenly I would feel this insanely strong sensation that I was being lifted off of my bed and that my body was turning and flying somewhere?? But because I didn't know exactly what it was it'd freak me out and my body would flinch. That's when I'd recover the feeling of my body back and it felt like I'd literally fall back into my bed. And I mean LITERALLY get slammed back into my body. And this wasn't a one time thing. Same thing kept happening every single day for like 2 weeks (until I got insecure and shifted my focus somehwere else as I've mentioned in another post). What's funny is that I didn't even realize what was happening. I was just like "Oh? That's a new feeling" I was just curious and wanted for it to keep happening so I could understand it better. I only realized what it was when it stopped happening all together and for that I blame myself.

But you know what? It's okay. I've learnt so much since then. And it's insane how all I did every day was look for other success stories to convince myself that this was real. When I had my own very real success story. I KNOW all fo this is real because I experienced it. And I am done looking for a confirmation from other people. I know the truth and that's enough. And you should too. You don't need any of these methods. All you need is to do whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy and that you know works for YOU. Cause what actually matters is that YOU KNOW is gonna work for you. That's all that ANY of us really need.

I know this is a lot, but if you actually read this I hope it helped and made you realize something... anything really. Be your own success story and make your dreams come true.

I believe soon you will hear about my own final success story:) Goodbye for now. Next post will be more about my fairy companion. Do look forward to that!

Much love,

Foxy ♡🦊

[mrvelocipede]

I had carefully put away all of my knitting stuff before the holidays, partly because it was taking up space that I needed for entertaining, but mainly because The Relatives are incredibly good at making me feel stupid and terrible about whatever projects I've been working on. Nothing destroys my motivation and interest in a thing more effectively than having to make small talk about it with people who have spent my entire life not understanding me.

In the last few days, I've been trying to get back to knitting mode, and finish the cable pattern I was in the middle of, but it's a tough slog to drag myself out of the holiday pit, so I decided to cast on a small, frivolous thing to try to get my brain to engage.

It could be a sort of companion to my existing pineapple bag, and smaller strawberry bag (which I don't think I've even posted pictures of, because I am going to get the pattern written first, dammit!). I had a little bit of leftover sock yarn that was the right colors, and I figured I could mess around with some short rows for the shaping.

And it's working!

Except that when it's not next to actual real-life fruit, it looks exactly as silly and rude as you'd think, and the movement of the needles as it's being knit makes it wave itself around in the most appalling way.

[kiththecat]

how do you make the plot of your fanfics? do you just wing it? or do you have a plot outline or a lore document of some sort

ok this answer became longer than i intended but i love talking about writing. im just going to talk about it from ajwiaap perspective but this is my general experience with all longer works. 

i kiiiinda wing it. i'm good at storing ideas in my head so i rarely put them on paper because everything changes so much all the time that it'd be a lot of effort to write down.

i'd say the main thing i do for plotting is just thinking about it. a lot. like every time i go for a walk, or before falling asleep, or when im doing every day tasks, or sometimes just sitting down somewhere and jumping into my head for an hour to play out scenes and tweak ideas.

my outline and all the lore exists pretty much only in my head. i have a short list of acts of physical affection that i'd like for clownzy to do and turn to that for inspiration every time im writing a scene. i also have a list of park-related ideas. and i did keep an outline for the first few chapters but, well, the level of effort put into it can be shown in the way i wrote chapter 10 plot down:

- “Watch and learn, Kaboodle.” fucks shit up!!!!!!!

- (gets depressed)

with the "watch and learn, kaboodle" dialogue never happening and the (gets depressed) being his stir crazy arc.

i DO have a vague plan, but i also give myself a lot of freedom to switch things up. i find it more fun to write when the scene im writing can take a sudden turn because i came up with something new on the spot.

a few instances where this has happened:

chapter 12 was almost fully written and edited before i came up with the breaking the wrist conflict, so i had to rewrite and edit almost all of it

despite setting up ash and squiddo spending a night in the park, i only came up with the idea of them being there the same night as minute as i was writing the start of chapter 9

the chapter 13 clownzy renegotiation is literally two drafted scenes with vastly different contexts and atmospheres in a trenchcoat. honestly have no idea how i pulled it off.

for the first two months of writing i imagined clowns house to be a much smaller, cosier place, until they finally got there and i was like.... this is no place for branzy to go insane

when i wrote the halloween murder scene i too had no clue who the murderer was. all i knew was that clown knew.

the scene where rek and branzy call the kids on new years eve simply did not exist until i was editing, but now it's important to the plot.

(for every new lovely idea made on the spot there's like two drafted scenes that will never see the light of day also god bless)

in the earlier chapters, back when i was updating every week (insane behavior) i was much more focused on writing... clownzy. in a way. like, yes, still big clownzy now! they're weirder than ever. but back then, the plot was kind of a background thing to me and i prioritised silly and weird flirting. but as my attachment to the fic grew (and as i started getting a lot of feedback from you guys like !!!!!!!!!!!!! holy motivation) i started wanted to just flesh things out more, build the world a little better. one reader asked me some worldbuilding questions in chapter 9 and i found it really fun to think out the answers.

which is also why the updates are slower now. i spend hours thinking about how to make the plot work and how to set up the concepts that need to be introduced (it's either thinking deeply about the world and the complexities of the character dynamics or me just thinking about clownzy kissing. no in between. one is much more productive). i dont wanna post something if i have this sense that there's a better direction to take it, or if the dialogue sounds clunky to me. im also mildly upset that i didn't get into proper worldbuilding a bit sooner but i think the evil capitalism workaround + branzy being unreliable narrator has helped it make sense, even though there are things i would go back and change in earlier chapters to make the worldbuilding better (if i wasn't too lazy to be bothered)

all that being said. in short terms. what happens with me and writing long fics is that usually, i'm like "ah, this will probably be about 20k words" and then i get to 20k words and the fic has taken over my life and i'm suddenly saddled with the task to think of a proper storyline. and the "taken over my life" is not hyperbolic, it is literally all i think about.

and as of now, the outline is as polished as it's ever been. it also still only exists in my head, but ive set up things for the major plot points im planning, so im not winging it entirely, just keeping it in my head! :D

[osakaonryoif]

Bit of an embarrassing progress update.

Hi it's your "I'm not dead" update that I do every few months.

As you know, I'm slowly but steadily working on Act 3, the casino job. I'd estimate it's about 40% done right now, and part of me wants to just drop the first third of it because I know you've all been waiting months, but then I remind myself that you all voted for a full chapter release rather than smaller updates. Anyway this is more than a simple "I'm not dead" post, because I have something slightly embarrassing to admit.

A few days ago, I discovered the blog page @redo-rewind-if, and IF which has nearly the exact same premise as mine, and loved reading through it. After doing so, I found that I've been writing more every day, and my ADD has been kept in check.

So the lesson is kids, spite is a great motivator!

P.S: to the author of Redo: This isn't a hate post, I love your IF. I just had to get this off my chest X X

[anarchistfrogposting]

I don't consider myself an anarchist but i'm pretty sympathetic, there's just some stuff i'm not sure yet would work well under anarchism as i understood it after reading the bread book.

What would incentivize people to work, for example, at oil rigs away from their communities doing dangerous work?

Would it be that they'd have a smaller expectation for how long they're suposed to work? Like, instead of you working 9-5 for 8 months instead you work 9-5 for 4 months and then can just do things you like the rest of the year?

Yes hi hello! This post re-emerged from the depths of accidental deletion!! I’m getting the bus to go get a burrito so let me talk about this one!!

Kropotkin actually talked about dangerous work; after all, some work is just inherently and unavoidably a bit more dangerous than others: so what’s the point? Why bother?

To start, resource extraction is going to be inherent to any industrial economy, but it’s worth pointing out that when you eliminate a lot of overproduction, an inefficiency inherent to capitalist economy, the demand for extraction is going to shoot down in a big way. That’s a big reason why a lot of the more hardcore environmentalist movements have been radical leftist ones; it’s features inherent to capitalism which are bringing about the downfall of the environment which sustains us.

Another big consideration to make is that a lot of the danger of these fields arises solely because the demands of the profit motive incentivise management to overwork/underpay/cut back on or wholesale eliminate critical safety measures; there’s a reason why unions and collectives in those fields are such critical players in the constant battle to keep people safe.

There are quite a few fields in the domestic/public sector, as well (think electricians, certain waste management professions etc.) which are (and were more so in the past) fairly dangerous but are not generally regarded as such because they’re regulated well in the public domain/have very strong unions/have otherwise strong safety regulation.

This stuff gets safer and safer as we improve the automation of our economy, as well.

It’s worth remembering as well that those remote professions and operations are, in a way, their own communities, as well, and for some people travelling long distances away for more lonesome work is quite an attractive prospect; I once knew a geologist who said he found the relative isolation quite peaceful. My great grandad did some remote mining and he always talked quite positively about it when I knew him (although this is very anecdotal - if anybody in the field wants to weigh in I’d be more than happy to hear what you think).

About hours as well;

If there’s no profit motive, then industrial processes are going to be driven by how to do them as safely, efficiently, and easily (among other stuff). The demand for hours is going to be a lot less tough because you’re going to be able to have more workers and source better equipment without worrying about how it will cut into your bottom line; so yes, the hours will be shorter and the shifts less demanding, with a greater support network and safety network when shit hits the fan. All of this, of course, makes this kind of work a lot more attractive.

But what about dangerous work in general? Why would anyone put themselves in danger?

You just have to look at the tremendous danger that volunteers face to understand that humans don’t really need a profit motive to put their lives on the line to better their communities and the world, or to feel part of something greater than themselves. Not everyone is going to want to do that, and that’s ok, but some people really derive a lot of happiness and fulfilment from dangerous work.

Humanity is flexible and diverse; working together to champion that is our strength, and it always has been.

[summertaters]

OH MY GOSH ARE YOU KIDDING THESE ARE SO GOOOD!!! I love love love your old stuff!!! The little grouchy faces are hilarious 🤣 and watching your style growing in each picture is so cool!!

My favourite was probably the aggressive Kacchako kiss, that’s how I always picture their first, with Bakugou just going for it 💜💜 I’m assuming that’s from a BurnedStars777 fic (I also love their work and have read all of them so I can’t remember which one it’s from 😂)

I would LOVE to know what your costume redesign would have entailed, even just in words, I’m always curious about other peoples design ideas! Like what were those things on Uraraka’s shoulders? What ideas did you have for Bakugou? Only if you want to though, no pressure.

Thanks so much for these, I really appreciate your art so much as I’m sure you can tell!

I hope you keep enjoying drawing too, so if you ever feel like it’s too much pressure please feel free to take a break, I’ll be okay!! I just want you to know that I’m not expecting art from you, I never want it to feel like you have to draw something ya know?

Anyway Thank you so much again, your Art is such a gift and I’m so grateful you’re sharing it with us!!

Hahaha, thank you~ Glad you enjoyed seeing them!!

Yes!! I think I took dialogue from BurnedStars777 'The Art of Conception' and reworked it to be a first kiss situation? xD I could also be misremembering tho lol.

((I picture a very slow burn where finally Bakugou just GOES for it!! It's a bit awkward and rough, but so them~))

This post gets a bit long, so I've added a break-- Art Below~

Since you're curious- I went and did some new rough-ups of the general ideas I had back then.

^ Uravity redesign. Mainly white and blacks with small accents of pink.

A jetpack and boot/calf thrusters to maneuver in the air better. A bit more of a practical helmet with a cute 'halo' look. (Angel face)

She'd overall still have a very cute and round look, but just a lil different!

^ Dynamight redesign. Ripped sleeves, 'handles' on his shoulders + hips (for combo moves with Uravity). Mask slightly altered too.

Biggest change is the gauntlets and gloves that I gave him- open palmed gloves ('cuz the idea would be his explosions would be more potent that way lol. )

Asymmetrical gauntlets- Left side clusters of grenades that could be detached and thrown. Right side a smaller version of his iconic grenade gauntlet. Both gauntlets would have the sweat gathering tubes attached to gather his explosive sweat and store it.

They both would of course still have their matching dots u.u

They're very rough ideas, that I'm sure could be improved upon, but I had fun thinking them up :3

Anon, you are so kind and sweet. I'm so grateful for your support, it really motivates and inspires me- I have so much more art planned in the future! You really make me feel like I'm part of a community <3

I try to take breaks here and there to not overwhelm myself (particularly my wrist will sometimes flare up) So don't worry <3 I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and care!!

I hope you stick around to see what else I have in store for you, and I wish you well! xoxoxo

[kurishiri]

Your translation posts have over 97-100 interactions???

hii anon! ya some of em do get a lotta notes fs - i appreciate any sort of interaction, i really do. by no means am i trying to undermine ppl who lurk. and ik im a smaller translator compared to others out there too. but, perhaps bc i may have phrased it strangely (was in a car when i wrote it), i think you missed the point i was trying to make /nm

longish explanation post under cut ↓

but it’s just i sometimes cant help but think… sometimes i dont feel as motivated to tl stories that should, in all technicality, be “easier” to tl. but i was able to tl a lot of elbies main story, for example even without garnering a lotta notes. i thought abt it a lil (in fact i thought abt it quite a bit, especially after getting involved in bustin out content), and i feel part of it comes down to how interactions should be more of a two-way street than one for it to hold any sort of substantial meaning.

and ive overall come to the conclusion that its not the number that really matters; its the meaning behind each interaction.

yes, some tl posts i do may get 97, 100+ notes at times, but most of them are likes or reblogs without anything written in the post or tags. if you look at any of my tl posts, you’ll find im lucky if i even get 2, 3 comments on a tl post with 90+ notes. hell, i’ll count all my blessings if i even get a “ty for the translation” or smth similar. but comments abt the content i tl is like sure proof that someone has really read and enjoyed the story, and furthermore its smth i can interact with too. on the other hand, liking and reblogging without saying anything is still appreciated, dont get me wrong, but in the end of the day it feels really one-way.

me translating as much of elbies main story as i did (20 chptrs!) was largely in part thanks to a person who had left a comment when i posted with their thoughts on the chptr. they werent long comments, per se, but jus the fact they left a comment on chptrs with their thoughts on the events and scenes meant so much to me, it would be no exaggeration to say i probably would have dropped my rendition elbies main story tl before i hit chptr 10 if not for them. and for al’s main story tl i did, if you ask my moots in a disc server im in, they could probably tell you aaall abt how i spammed the alfons channel with tl snippets while i was still working on the project bc i loved hearing others comments abt it (arguably, i may have been fishing for them, and sure, i may have been desperate — hell, color me surprised they weren’t fed up with me haha — but without them i dont think i would have finished my rendition of al’s main story tl). but when i posted them on tmblr, most of them probably didnt exceed 40 notes. i’d be lucky if i reached 30 /lh waayy less than 90.

you’ll be surprised how much a single comment (or ask!) or whatnot can impact me… there’s probably no amount of likes that could ever outweigh the positive impact a single comment could have on me.

now of course, (1) i’m not saying i inherently expect ppl to comment on my stuff; in the end, commenting is and should really be done on one’s sole discretion. but, it seems to be a known fact among ppl especially who write fics or translate that comments r scarce, few and far in between. (2) i also tl bc i like to. i myself like to bring characters to life through translation. like, yes, it is fun in a very genuine sense. and that also plays into my motivation, but its smth i like to share with others too. multiple things do motivate me - and i think all of it needs to sort of work together for it to really work to its fullest.

[mysecretwindowuniverse]

"Remember when I told you you'd come around? You didn't believe me , silly little bird," "Jerome . . ."

This is cartoonishly late - like, this was originally supposed to be posted on Valentine's Day. Suffice to say, it's been a bit of an unexpectedly arduous journey to get this finally posted.

Back in the beginning of the year I spent about a month on this in total, from inception to completion. I'd just about finished, all the main piece needed were the final touches when my fiance got me sick. And I mean sick; hadn't been that ill in years, and I ended up losing more than a damn week to what turned out to be RSV. And subsequently missed Valentine's Day.

No big deal, I thought, I'll post it by the end of February.

Nope.

The setback of getting RSV turned out to only be the first in a line of setbacks, from getting sick a grand total of three more fucking times (not including the unrelenting menace that is allergies), unforeseen, extensive travel during the spring, followed by anxiety/existential dread over AI and the seeming impossibility to protect your artwork and the bitter hopelessness of the situation. So that kept me from posting. And then, to top everything off, came the travel-sickness-burnout-induced unexpected hiatus taken from this blog.

So yeah, it's been a long road.

But finally I was able to finish this piece - my first (completed) Gotham fanart! My original goal had been to post a semi-corresponding fanfic alongside the fanart, but on account of the aforementioned setbacks and a serious writer's block, that's going to have to wait. I'm still working on it! - but it's completion is seriously TBD.

In truth, I haven't done artwork this intensive in literal years, and it's been really great to get back into it. Like, I really threw myself into this; the urge to create just struck out of nowhere, and I fortunately had the time (and motivation) needed to see this piece through to the bitter end. And honestly? I'm really happy with how they came out!

Of course it's jeromewald, at this point, is it even a surprise, lol? What it says on this blog's header remains true - I do ship both nygmobblepot and jeromewald equally, but (both fortunately and unfortunately) of those ships, one already has an ocean's worth of phenomenal content, whereas the other is far more niche. So I figure it's best to create for the far smaller pair, supply what fresh content I can, and do my part to help keep this lovely fandom alive!

Can you tell I had Thnks Fr th Mmrs on a loop while making this?

'He tastes like you only sweeter' is an insane thing to say, and I feel it really fits a jeromewald x nygmobblepot love triangle. 'The love triangle from hell', one of my favorite things and the hyperfixation that has had me in a chokehold for years.

The pose is shamelessly inspired by that one Batman Catwoman cover (issue No. 9)

I can't say when the next fanart will be posted, but I am working on at least four others at the moment, so fingers crossed the creativity gods smile upon me and I'm able to churn more out over the next few months!

[skuppo]

Heyy skuppo I like your fanfic a lot and I’ve noticed u haven’t been online at all, u okay? I’m not trying to be pushy for a new chapter, sorry if it comes off that way. I was just wondering if your were alr?

Hi hello! It's very kind that you're reaching out here like this! 💖 It made me happy to see when I noticed, which admittedly took awhile (I'm so sorry!), because I have been very disconnected from everything lately!

This is kinda rambly so I'll give it a cut!

I am doing ALL RIGHT (right now, anyway, because before, I was doing TERRIBLY AHHHH like seriously some of the worst months of my life there for a bunch of stupid and also personally catastrophic reasons). I don't really want to get into all that because it's a huge bummer and it all REALLY SUCKED and I don't want to trauma dump! I'm sure I'll get into it a bit on my next author's note! BUT FEAR NOT, I'm not one of those people who gets upset even if people are like, "YO WHERE'S YOUR FIC" even if that was your intention -- long as it's respectful! It actually makes me more happy than anything to hear people still care about my story when I go into social hibernation mode 😭 selfishly my story means the world to me, so anytime anyone likes it, I'm like, yesssssss, my life is validated!

And on THAT front, I'm done with a chapter! I'm gonna do one quick and final pass-over edit and then it'll get posted tomorrow, either before or after work! (It's currently 11:00ish pm here in CST land, so expect it somewhere between like, idk, 8:30 AM and... 5? tomorrow??) Gonna take some brief time to ramble here because WHY NOT and also I AM ANXIOUS and gotta word vomit to STOP IT (it won't actually stop any of the anxiety BUT I CAN TRY) and am I really myself if I am not taking a short, sweet comment and using it to BLAB FOR DAYS???: it's not as long as my last couple of chapters because those 20k+ behemoths were exhausting as fuck to edit and really killed my drive to write. This is more my old style of 10-14k sorta chapters, and the one AFTER it is also actually written, too, it just needs a lot more editing. And then there's a TON of stuff after it I've also written too. In my long sabbatical, I basically let myself write scenes from parts of my fic as I was inspired to write them and not necessarily chronologically! This kinda resulted in me having TONS of shit written but nothing I could post, but it was also all I could really emotionally manage at the time. Between that and letting myself go back to smaller chapter sizes, I'm hoping it means I can go back to posting with a lot more regularity -- like, idk, once every week or two. I kept falling into this DUMB TRAP where I'd get anxious about a long portion of the story being more introspective/emotion-exploring than plot advancing and think, well, I have to hold on until I get some introspection AND some plot advancing moments, and that meant I'd end up with some INSANELY LONG CHAPTERS and editing those things made me really wanna walk directly into oncoming traffic. They were especially torture when I was NOT doing so hot on the brainmeat front, which is... OFTEN. Like who isn't emotionally and mentally a mess these days, the world is a DISASTER Anyway, long story short, I'm going to stop holding myself to arbitrary goals and allow myself to sometimes publish a chapter that's more about some horror-drenched domestic nightmare-fluff even if it doesn't have anything SUPER plot advancey at the moment because it's what makes me happy! AND HEY, character development is plot advancement too! (THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING MYSELF ANYWAY AHHHH)

(In actuality I feel like I'm constantly terrified I'm letting the 20 people who consistently read my stuff down, but I gotta like, try really really hard to NOT think about that, HNNGH.)

I really think it'll be better for everyone tho. I'm more motivated to write when things don't take me a month and a half, because when it takes me a month and a half to write ONE CHAPTER I want to take a 7 year sabbatical not only from writing, but from life. I don't tend to get near as exhausted churning through smaller chapters though! Also, I hope you're reading on Ao3 and NOT FF.net cause I probably won't be posting there immediately! This chapter gets more overtly sexual than previous ones and I know FF.net isn't down for that so I gotta... find some way to edit it so it's not as heinous? Which is like HALF THE POINT OF THE CHAPTER, so I'm concerned! 🫠 Not that FF.net has any moderation anymore, but y'know, just in case! PS - for the anon who sent me the ask asking when the fic was getting updated sometime in mid January, the answer is: TOMORROW! <3

[hahahahawk]

So a couple days ago I blogged about a breakdown as I was having it.

10/10 breakdown, btw, no sarcasm. Maybe it would’ve been healthier to deal with those emotions on a smaller scale over a longer period of time, but clearly my existing coping skills didn’t allow that to happen. Instead I got 20 minutes of crying then a huge feeling of relief that has lasted the two days since then.

(Also, the move got to a point where the end of the work tunnel was clearly visible, and the time tunnel had been extended.)

Here’s the epilogue:

Since I was sobbing uncontrollably for no apparent reason, my partner came to—

Said partner came in the room just now to go over his plans for running errands and I noticed he was wearing his Cowgirl Hello Kitty shirt today.

“When I refer to you on the internet today, should I call you my ‘pardner’?”

Anyway, on Tuesday he came to comfort me coz he’s good like that. He sat with me and cuddled me, and in an absolute autistic win, I asked for a little bit of space so I could keep feeling/processing/writing, and he scooted away and pulled out his phone and let me do my thing until I had digested enough of the Feelings to have a proper conversation.

After telling him about the whole @elodieunderglass context (“so there’s this inside-out fandom on Tumblr…”) and how that particular post got under my skin (complimentary), we were just laying on the bed, unwinding and being gentle at each other.

In that moment i pulled all my feelings into a particular Shape and told him, “I want to give you the gift of my loyalty and a commitment to making this relationship Good”.

Different backstory: we’ve been together for about 4 years now, and last month we bought a house together, but we’ve never truly gotten to the bottom of the question of marriage. I had a brief marriage in my early 20s, and have some baggage about second weddings. Though our government IDs make us look like a hetero couple, neither one of us are cis or fully comfortable with traditional gender roles. During the house buying process, getting hitched came up as a possibility for making things easier, but that idea died on the vine. We signed the house papers for it to be property in common, though.

In the past couple months I’ve (secretly) put in some work on myself to make sure I’m a partner worth marrying—not to ‘force’ it to happen, but to make sure that if it does come up again, to make his decision to spouse me an easier one.

The night before my breakdown we were at a fancy dinner date to say goodbye to our local downtown district. Somewhere between apps and mains I realized, “oh, if I want us to get married, I need to be the one to propose. 🤦🏻”

But even still, it wasn’t a case of putting it on the calendar and popping the question. Gender traditions aside, i had to put a lot of thought into how marriage and a wedding fit into my personal values and those of my partner.

The only practical commitment bigger than buying property together is having kids, and that’s way way way off the table for us. So if we’ve bought a house together, and there are ways to share health benefits (and other stuff like it) without being legally married. Neither of us care about marriage as an institution… so what’s the motivation?

Another wrinkle is that my partner has been single handedly supporting us for the past 18 months. I did a lot of the heavy lifting before that, but recently, he’s done 95% of it. And 95% of the logistical heavy lifting for the move we’re undertaking. Which means proposing right now feels way more like “support me forever” rather than “I’ll take care of you forever”

Which is how I landed on my non-proposal of, “I give you the gift of my loyalty”

It got a conversation rolling where we talked about our wants and our values, touching on all the highlights I mentioned above here. He admitted out loud for the first time that receiving a proposal would 100% be welcome and affirming and his preference. Glad we have that out in the open now. I have an idea of how to ask, but not sure what I’ll do for a proposal gift.

…

It’s been a long week.

[jinnaizaemon]

Done with second movie, and just about done with the first one now! ...My main motivation for this was that I really, really wanted to translate that one exchange between a Dokutake guard and Doi:

- Huh? Aren’t you one of the part-timer aunties? - I’m not an auntie!

of course she's too young to be called an auntie, how rude.

It's usually tricky to translate made-up names, like the medicine featured in this story, especially when the name itself is part of the punchline... But here the original is 軽身剤, keishinzai, whose characters spell literally "light", "body", and "agent/substance/drug". So... Light body agent. It works just as well in English. Now puns are even trickier, and Nintama is full of them. I try to adapt them as much as I can so it doesn't disrupt the watching experience (most of the time I tell my very kind proofreader/editing friend good luck with that!, actually...), but sometimes there's just no way to convey a pun without a long translation notes, as much as I try avoiding them. Which is why I end up making posts like these on tumblr lol. I'm just ranting atm, but later I plan to make a post for each movie, going through them chronologically with translation notes and my own commentary. One such pun that made me ?! was this one, when Kirimaru warns Rantarou that Happousai is after them :

Happy-Holiday is also climbing!

(...the line in the subtitles we'll end up publishing might be different if we find something better LOL)

In the original, Kirimaru calls Happousai 冠婚葬祭 kankonsousai, a four kanji characters compound meaning "an important ceremonial occasions in family relationships". Kirimaru, you're ten, where did you even learn that word. Anyways, he only kept the -ousai part, so I kept the Happ- part myself. ....A holiday is an occasion to meet family right...? So it works..right?!! Hah....... Nintama.......

Anyways, it's a fun movie with great bits of animation, and it's from a time where the cast was much smaller so the featured characters each get a lot of time to shine. it has a lot of Hanko!! Hankoooo!! I'm excited to share it later!

"konjou, konjou, ashita no joe!" has been looping in my brain since. i keep wanting to say it. that random line was just too fun

[reflectionsofthesea]

Hiii I’m back! It's been a pretty stressful and busy time at work, so I'm less online than usual, but still learning finnish daily! It's actually being my saving grace: getting to detach myself from work,routine and stress and just putting my head into something completely different that I enjoy doing. Putting a read more because I wrote a lot here:

I've been progressing with my exercise book, and learned how to express the need to do something 'i have to...' and also the imperative tense. Really useful stuff. I also finally finished trascribing all puhekieli 'basic rules' on my notebook!

Some new stuff in my daily learning routine:

I started listening to podcasts and short stories! I was a bit intimidated at first, but now I've been enjoying doing it every day when I am cooking, cleaning the house or even when drawing/working. I'm listening to a beginner's podcast and can basically understand a good 80% of it, which is making me feel so proud and motivated hahaha. The crazy thing is that even if I don't understand a couple of new words, I can follow the conversation and the topic and I always know what the host is talking about, it's crazy. I'll definitely continue listening to podcasts and stories daily because I think it's helping A LOT and truly making me feel like I'm making huge progress and my brain is enlarging lol.

I started using LingQ! The importing videos/podcasts feature is super useful, and I imported some videos in finnish from youtubers I found and having LingQ generate subtitles in finnish for me and translation in english, so I can study them is so useful. That way I can exercise listening to more puhekieli and expand my vocabulary. It helps that the videos are super fun and entertaining themselves, so I genuinely want to know what's happening hahaha. (one was a Sims4 house building video, another one a travelling vlog)

I tried writing some 'stories' for the first time, this is also an advice I heard from a video, that helps with getting your brain used to constructing sentences and phrases. I already did this in a smaller way, writing very short sentences practicing different grammar rules to commit them to memory, but this exercise really makes you put more effort into building longer and slightly more articulated sentences, like phrases you'd say to someone when having a chat, or thinking out loud. I decided to pick some random themes and just write what I can about them! The pink underlined words/verbs/adverbs are things I had to look up because I didn't know how to say yet. I think this is a pretty fun and creative exercise to do though, and I can see how it can make your brain faster at producing sentences on the long run :) It will be fun to keep doing this when my vocabulary grows and I can say more stuff! (I saw a writing exercise idea on tumblr that was describing your Dnd characters and something about their personality/stories, and I really want to do that!)

Overall, I'm feeling really good and motivated. I remember feeling a bit stuck a month ago, and now that feeling is gone, and I feel like I improved a lot. I really think implementing new exercises like the written stories exercise and especially listening a lot has been so useful and important into me feeling like I'm growing more in this language. I'm really glad I fought my inner doubt and saboteur and just did it. I also gander at posts written in finnish here on tumblr and realized I understand a good 70/80% of what's written in there. Sometimes more or less, depending on how long the post is or how specific the words used are. But that's pretty crazy to me and really satisfying!

Also, if you need some inspiration for your language learning journey or some good tips (like the listening to podcasts and writing stories I'm currently doing), please watch this video! It really inspired me to keep going in my journey :)

[choicesficwriterscreations]

September MC & OCs of the Month - Special Edition: Celia Moore

Help us in welcoming September's MCs and OCs of the month! That's right, plural! Most months, CFWC highlights one randomly selected MC or OC from our Meet My MC / OC List. (More info here.) But this month, we're doing something different.

In August, @lilyoffandoms hosted a Writers Appreciation Month, and we announced the September Writer of the Month would be selected from its participants. But all participants agreed - Lily deserved the honor! Still, we wanted to do something nice for the eleven writers who elected to participate to help uplift other writers in the fandom. So, this month, each of the eleven participants will have one of their MCs or OCs highlighted.

We will introduce each MC / OC individually, and once all eleven have been highlighted, a masterlist for the month will be created. We hope you enjoy getting to know all about them!

The ninth MC of the Month is @trappedinfanfiction 's Celia Moore!

Learn more about Celia below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC. 

It’s hard to say exactly what I like most about her, but probably her dedication. She doesn’t back down when things don’t go her way and will always do everything she can to do what she believes is right. She has worked hard to end up where she has, and she knows it; she won’t let the words of others destroy her own accomplishments. 

Do you feel your MC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I feel like I put some of myself in every MC/OC I have, and Celia is no different. She might be the one that I am the most alike, but at the same time, she’s a lot different from me. Maybe a bit more like how I want to be. She’s passionate and not afraid to speak up if something is wrong and is willing to take risks to turn things in a better direction, especially in the medical world. She’s also a lot more social than me. While she enjoys her alone time and keeps a smaller circle of very close friends, she doesn’t really have a problem talking and getting to know new people. 

What is most important to your MC? What is their motivation in life?

The most important thing for Celia is the people around her, her family, friends and patients. They are her motivation. She wants them to have a good life and wants to help where she can. She hates where the medical world is heading, where money is becoming more important than what the people needs. As her influence in the medical world grows, she uses her privilege to work for a world where people don’t have to go into a life-time of debt just to get the help they need, and that no one should be turned away just because of their looks and identity. 

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes? 

People who always think they know best because they googled something and generally rude/intolerant people. “Oh, you’re a woman? You have to be a nurse. Let me speak to a man.” is something she hears a lot, and it makes her blood boil.

If your MC could change one thing - anything - what would it be? 

If she could change the world, she would. She knows it’s impossible in reality, but through her work she knows she at least can help her patients. She will do her very best to give every single patient the help they need. Be it someone to talk to, or finding the right treatment.

What is your MC’s favorite quote or song? 

This one is so hard! I never have any idea when I am asked about music, because what I listen to isn’t necessarily what my MC/OCs would like and I honestly can’t even settle on my own favorites. However, I can see her liking Raleigh Carrera’s music.

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC?

I never believed that I would ever post any of my writing, but Celia has been my door into sharing it. She has developed into her own character outside the MC I played as in Open Heart and I have had so much fun writing her story. She was my escape during the pandemic and I have gotten so many friends in the fandom because of her. Some have left, and some are still here, and I am grateful for every single one. I never believed what was supposed to be a small drabble would lead to where things are now.

[aheathen-conceivably]

how do you go about planning your storyline? :) especially for your decades challenge

Hello there dearest! I’m sorry this took me a while. It’s a bit of a difficult one and I wanted to take some time to sort out the chaotic process in my brain before I tried to type it out 😅

This is just a rough outline of what works for me specifically in writing a historical story on simblr. I can’t speak to writing advice in general because it’s not something I have experience with; nor do I think this will be helpful for everyone. So please feel free to pick and choose whatever suits your fancy or ignore it all completely.

Of course, it’s time to take this below the cut, since you know it’s going to get a bit long 😉

1. Find Inspiration (Nonfiction books, Blogs, TV shows, YouTube videos, Period Pieces, etc etc…)

For a decades challenge/history based story I think this is really the starting point for me. Whether it be styles of architecture, clothing trends, a historical fact, or an individual’s story, there’s so much real life inspiration to be found for this type of story. It can often seem small, but sometimes pinpointing what you know you want to include and working it in there can be the crux of so much of a story.

I’ve said this before but one of the very first things I knew I wanted to include was the Titanic, since it was the first historical event I ever became interested in. Other examples are New Orleans as a setting, the inclusion of Storyville, and even something as small as the axe man that I included in this post.

When I find these moments of inspiration, I try to immediately transform them into tangible scenes or plot points rather than simply jot them down as a note or like a “maybe for later”. This keeps me from getting mired in too many ideas or overwhelmed with things I like, but that don’t necessarily have a place in the story.

However, sometimes it also means I will need to tweak ideas as the plot develops, such as changing the original storyline of Rosella and Lord Harrington to Rosella and Georgiana; but even with these edits, this process still creates a sort of scaffolding structure for the story as a whole. It gives me plot points or small, specific scenes that I am working and writing toward. I’m then able to allude to the eventual outcome beforehand as well as weave a larger narrative around it while still having clear points of guidance for where I want to go. 2. Connect the Dots

The “dots” here are the aforementioned scenes and/or plot points that I have written well in advance. I have dozens and dozens of these, and I’m basically constantly adding to the document where I keep my writing. This is all kept in chronological order so I can see the progression as well as where I need more narrative to fill out a decade. I generally look at this structure and ask myself: how do I realistically reach that point?

To use the example of the Titanic again: this meant somehow getting the oldest daughter of a relatively poor and close knit family aboard a ship bound for America. It meant not only putting her in contact with someone who would have access to these tickets, but also giving her a reason to leave the people she loved. Then once those larger dots are connected, I continue to focus on smaller and smaller threads, like the details of Georgiana herself or Rosella’s relationship to Zelda, until the storyline feels fully fleshed out and a character’s motivations are coming through. 3. Character Consistency

That last bit is very important to me, and I always try and think about how the characters are functioning within the framework of what I’ve written and the historical landscape. Sometimes this comes into play before connecting the dots, but often it is actually what finally puts the puzzle pieces in place. Something sim-specific here is that I really do use sims traits as guidance on who the characters are, how they interact with the world, and how the world has affected them. So often when I am referencing a prewritten plot point or scene I will ask myself, how would that character get to this point? What may have happened that would lead them here? How does their personality interact with this historical event or point of inspiration?

Many scenes have often come from more outward facing questions, like, is this trait clear to everyone reading as well as me? Has this visibly impacted their life and done so in a sensible way? This is in part responsible for many extra scenes we saw at the end of the 1920s when a few of my best simblr babes pointed out to me that Antoine’s motivations weren’t very clear. It also helps me to fill in and round out that base storyline structure with more small, real-life scenes that showcase and develop certain traits as characters grow and interact with the world around them.

—

With all that said, this is often a very long process that involves reading or watching historical content, going over my own writing again and again, and just waiting for the day when my brain suddenly writes 5-6 scenes unprompted. Other times I’m flying by the tip of my boots, watching y’all feedback and incorporating it or reading through scenes with friends for their help.

So the process has looked very different at various points in the narrative and through the many months I’ve been writing this story. But overall, having those points to write toward as well as tangible character traits have guided the process throughout.