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curioskitty · 4 years ago

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THE・Rarest Bakugou

Given Bakugou-kun's description as a "juvenile delinquent" (Horikoshi sensei uses the term 不良少年, or furyou shounen, meaning juvenile delinquent boy), it's expected that he wouldn't conform to standard. So obviously, it's not possible to find Bakugou-kun wearing a tie properly................

What is up with this perfectly tied nonsense right here?!

Bakugou-kun, I thought I knew you!!! THE LIES! THE BETRAYAL!!!

But, it's probably just a fluke. You didn't mean it, right Horikoshi-sensei?

WTF?! WHY?!!! Horikoshi-sensei?!

Yep. Contrary to expectations, Bakugou-kun wearing a tie correctly only ranks at Ultra Rare status: difficult to find, but not impossible.

So, what's rarer than a tie-wearing Bakugou-kun? Go Beyond, Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In fact, it's even harder to find Bakugou-kun wearing a tie improperly. Given proto-Bakugou's loose tie design, I would have expected that to be the likelier delinquent-esque tie option. But I've only seen Horikoshi-sensei draw him like this once:

(Horikoshi-sensei's one year celebration illustration. This is still fairly early in the publication.)

On top of that, Bakugou-kun consistently wears his uniform tie-less and with at least one button undone on his shirt collar. His pants are always slung low on his hips and legs bunching up at his feet (except when he had to wear jeans for Best Jeanist). You can even see panels where Horikoshi-sensei drew in the rips at the hems near the heel where they drag on the ground.

So why the inconsistency, Horikoshi-sensei? I see you over there, stop pretending you didn't notice. I know you're paying attention.

Horikoshi-sensei gave proto-Bakugou a loosened tie, so what is the reasoning for taking Bakugou-kun's tie away?

Some No-Tie Theories

Fan Theory #1: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW

//Like Midoriya-kun, Bakugou-kun came from a middle school with gakuran uniforms. They never learned how to tie them. Midoriya-kun messes up his tie, while Bakugou-kun doesn't even bother to try.//

I actually think this is the least likely reason. Bakugou-kun was designed to be a naturally talented genius. I think this applies to anything he wants to do. If he does something, it's always perfectly done.

Bakugou-kun can (and does if you look above) tie it perfectly when necessary.

CONCLUSION: If Bakugou-kun doesn't do something, it's completely out of personal preference or because he doesn't see a reason to.

Fan Theory #2: REBELLIOUS NATURE

//Bakugou-kun is a delinquent and maintains that image because he thinks it looks cool. Or maybe he is rebelling against fashion designer parents. Either way, because of his family background he knows how to tie a tie, but wants to be a rebel.//

I'd give partial points for this one. I'm pretty sure he wears his pants loose at least partially because he thinks it looks cool. However, Bakugou-kun's parents were noted to be designers and not specifically fashion designers.

Despite appearances, this is the kid that sleeps at 8:30pm, doesn't break school rules, and yells at his friends for smoking.

He zips up the collar on his gym track suit all the way. Both the summer and winter versions get the same treatment. He doesn't feel the need to "make a statement" by wearing his track uniform incorrectly. Outside of class, he can and does sometimes wear his track jacket unzipped, but during class he always wears it properly.

So then why does Bakugou-kun refuse to wear the band T-shirt and Christmas party Santa outfit? Because he isn't cooperative. In Ultra Analysis, his Cooperativeness Stat was the lowest rank: E.

CONCLUSION: Bakugou-kun may be non-conformist and uncooperative, but he isn't a rebel.

Fan Theory #3: TRAUMA/PTSD

//This is one of the more popular theories. Between Dabi grabbing his neck, the Sludge Villain and being restrained at the School Festival, our boy has been through the wringer. As a result, he just doesn't like stuff around his neck because it gives him anxiety.//

The Western Fandom is definitely concerned about the mental health of the kids. But I don't actually think this is the reason. Not that I don't think they all need some therapy and self care, especially right now, but there just isn't evidence for this specific trauma in Bakugou-kun.

He wears scarves and even turtle necks without a problem.

On top of that, Bakugou-kun ALSO unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and gakuran in middle school; even from before the Sludge Villain incident. There isn't any evidence Bakugou-kun changed his dressing habits due to trauma. He wore a scarf to the entrance exam for UA, too.

CONCLUSION: Bakugou-kun has ALWAYS worn his shirts with the top button unbuttoned.

These 3 theories are inadequate, too. Even if they did explain the reasons Bakugou-kun doesn't wear a uniform tie, they don't factor in the reasoning for why he DOES wear his other ties properly sometimes.

HC#1: Bakugou-kun's preference

Bakugou-kun doesn't seem to care about his image and how "extras" see him. Even during the press interviews after his hero debut, he wore the same style of open collar look. He's not shy about being nude or taking his shirt off.

But what he hates is being uncomfortable.

He is "explosively brawny". Just look at how thick Bakugou-kun's neck is when compared to Midoriya-kun's. It isn't just that Midoriya-kun is supposed to be scrawny, but also that Bakugou-kun has a thicker than average neck.

Bakugou-kun doesn't like to button up his shirts all the way because it's uncomfortable. It's reasonable that he zips his track suit and everything else up because those are looser at the neck or made of stretchier materials.

As for why he doesn't wear the uniform tie at all... Don't forget Bakugou-kun is a perfectionist and a bit of a neat freak.

He always tucks his shirt in. For the band performance he wore a collared black dress shirt. From what we saw of his room, it's minimalist and clean. I don't see him wanting to look like a slob.

A sloppy loose tie would probably irritate him more than just not wearing it (which is even funnier when you think about Midoriya-kun's chonk tie. It probably makes him want to strangle Midoriya-kun, or maybe just tie it himself...)

Bakugou-kun has difficulties compromising when it comes to his high standards. So if he has to wear it, it's going to be either 0% or 100%.

HC#2: Explosiveness

Why draw Bakugou-kun with either 0% tie or 100% tie? If Horikoshi-sensei is going for a delinquent image, wouldn't the 50% tie option make more sense?

Taking a look again at Bakugou-kun's profile page, Horikoshi-sensei describes him to be explosive in every way. That includes his whole body being "explosively brawny", but also adds a note that he looks slender in clothes.

Horikoshi-sensei put an effort to make every element of Bakugou-kun's character in some state of either fully compressed or explosive.

His slimming clothes, general appearance and even his speech patterns are highly compressed (blunt/terse) and loud. The extremes of his attitude are compressed too; if Bakugou-kun is not loudly raging, then he's quietly observing.

This contrast is key to his character. You can't explode if you aren't compressed first. It's supposed to be shocking to see how brawny he actually is under his slenderizing clothes. And I always feel shocked whenever I see this kid compressed into a tie.

HC#3: Deku & Kacchan

These two are set apart from the class by design and very much on purpose. Horikoshi-sensei designed them to be at opposite ends of the same spectrum.

If Bakugou-kun has muscular arms, then Midoriya-kun needs muscular legs. If Midoriya-kun buttons up his shirt all the way to the collar, then Bakugou-kun's collar has to be loose. Their designs reflect their connection.

So if Midoriya-kun has a poorly tied tie, the opposite of that is either non-existant or perfectly tied. If it's perfectly tied, he'd just blend in with the class.

The no-tie option just makes more sense.

Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou

Horikoshi-sensei only ever draws Bakugou-kun with a tie in specific scenarios. Costume events that require the neck tie as part of the costume or "fancy" events where everyone is in formal wear. And even in those, Bakugou-kun manages to not wear his tie 90% of the time.

So, I just imagine that when Horikoshi-sensei makes Bakugou-kun wear his tie, he's super grumpy! Just look at his face in every illustration he's wearing a tie in. He's probably hot, uncomfortable, and really not enjoying himself at all.

Ultimately, the "Plus Ultra Rare Bakugou" is a Bakugou-kun who wears the tie and SMILES while doing it.

(Yes, I know that's NOT actually a tie. Shut up Bakugou-kun. You're only smirking in this one because you won the Popularity Poll for the 5th time in a row...)

(Well that's random, you say? Welcome to my blog. Considering the stuff going down on canon, I figured I should give fans, and myself, a break from angst to talk about something silly.

Please note that this applies only to the manga. I've found that the anime isn't quite so strict about how Bakugou-kun looks.

Regarding the headcanons, I just want to clarify that everyone is free to think whatever they like. I enjoy all headcanons and support your right to have them.

I wrote this a while ago and then debated posting it because it's such a huge meta about... Bakugou-kun's tie. I had regrets. But now it's become my new years post. Regrets were for 2020, it's already 2021!

Demons out, fortune in!!! I know it's not setsubun for another month, but 2020 was such a demon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!)

#why did i write this #does this even qualify as meta #bnha headcanons #bakugou katsuki #bnha randomness #bnha spoilers #bkdk #bakudeku #decchan #if you squint #bnha meta #boku no hero manga #Bakugou Katsuki's tie

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maribabyart · 4 years ago

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Do you have any Demon Martha headcanons? How do you think her reunion with Mrs. Mayberry (The teacher who paid for her assassination) in hell would go?

OK YES I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR THIS HERE WE GO --

MARTHA HEADCANONS <3

So, I’m gonna start with her before she died so I can fully get into why every part of her is the way she is as a demon.

Martha is light skinned Latina woman with family coming from Venezuela. Her mother has a much darker skin tone than her, but her father is far more light-skinned, where she gets her complexion from. While she was raised in America, her parents were immigrants. She was born at home, and she didn’t get a birth certificate until she was four, the year before she started schooling.

She has three older brothers. They were very rambunctious with Martha as a child, pulling pranks on her/with her, taking her hunting, etc.

She was raised out on a farm in the middle of a forested area in Kentucky. They raised cattle, sheep, chickens, and horses. Martha’s main job on the farm was to groom/ride horses and feed chickens.

She learned her sharp-shooter skills in a more intense version of something like 4H unique to her area. She was fantastic with a bow and arrow, and even better with her firearms.

Cannibalism was normalized in Martha’s life from a young age. She knew that it must be kept secret from the outside world, and that it wasn’t accepted. However, it wasn’t something she found to be horrid.

Her family -- and their close friends -- came from a long lineage of Satanic cultists that practiced cannibalism to purge any bit of, “soul” remaining in the corpses of their sacrifices. Due to this, Martha had evolved to be able to be immune to the ill side effects of cannibalism, along with the ability to not feel repulsed by the idea of eating human meat.

Her favorite part of the body growing up was the brain, and it still is to this day. She loves the frontal lobe slathered in spices and hot sauce.

She began her cultish killings at age fourteen, when she officially joined the cult of her family’s descent -- Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida (Fellowship of the Forbidden Fruit, a refrence to their following of Lucifer)

Martha didn’t love Raphael Peterson, or, “Ralphie”. She was married of to him at age sixteen, when she became a, “Woman” in the cult’s eyes. They were both meant to appear as an ideal couple so that people wouldn’t suspect them, as their parents before them have.

Ralph and Martha always saw each other as friends with benefits.

They moved to Dayton, Tennessee to start their family when they turned eighteen.

In Nashville, Martha started singing to music her husband played in Taverns. Think Dolly Parton style music. She sounded a lot like that.

Their first child was born when Martha was eighteen: Their daughter, Jolene Peterson. Two years later, they had their son, Beau Peterson.

Martha was always really involved with her kids’ school activities, and she was always volunteering to work events, and her kids were in every activity they could be.

She used her physical attractiveness to seduce and kill men.

While sex favorable, Martha is on the aspec -- greysexual (sexual pleasure is irrelevant to her, and she only engages in it to appease her partner generally. She only finds sexual attraction in people while in the act.) Because of this fact, Martha only has affairs for the sake of gaining trust to bring the men home so they can be killed and eaten.

When Martha was shot, the community villainized Mrs. Mayberry because the town darling, Martha Jane Nunez Robles-Peterson, would NEVER cheat, right? The situation was misread: Martha was just talking to Jarold Mayberry that night about t-ball-related things, right? He WAS the the little league captain for her 6-year-old-son’s league, wasn’t he?

Martha was gifted millions by the community, and people were insanely supportive of her. They wanted the sweet Martha they, “knew” to get better soon. They loved her so -- such a darling woman!

Her music became more well known, and soon, Martha was all over TV. Her big musical break came from when she auditioned for American Idol and made it. Her sob-story propelled her, and she eventually won.

Martha was a hero to everyone around her -- surviving a traumatic event that was uncalled for, while also being so damn chipper and kind.

Hell, did you guys see the background in one of those scenes?! Martha was canonly proclaimed a SAINT! People loved her that much.

She used the public trust to lure in more victims and never be suspected.

Martha was 28 when she died. Ralphie was 28 as well. Jolene was 10, and Beau was 8.

Ralphie managed to survive the explosion, albeit he was completely paralyzed, and the two children went to heaven. Ralphie repented during his last month alive, and confessed to his crimes. He was sent to heaven as well.

Martha and the children were declared to have died in a bear attack, as Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida covered up their true demise with ease.

People were heart broken -- Martha’s music was used in sad collages on Youtube, Tik Toks had Martha’s face in them for memorials.

No one ever realized her crimes.

Now! As a demon....

In hell, Martha picked up the alias Hero -- it’s what she was in life, right? I’ll be calling her Hero from now on.

Hero is both different and similar to how she was when she was alive. She’s still the got her kind-hearted, southern mama vibe going for her: She tends to be able to fit into any demonic crowd well, either by attractiveness or by sheer, overwhelming allure -- she’s a very magnetic personality.

As far as powers go, Hero’s are mostly related to firearms. She’s acquired these powers through deal making and soul dealing, as most demons do. Her charming aura very quickly lure people into thinking she’s naive or really just being honest with them.

Her nails can peel back to allow her to shoot from, “finger guns”. Each finger is a different gun, besides her middle and index fingers. They are both shotguns. Together, they make a double barrel shotgun.

When in full demonic form, Hero’s bandages become sentient. They peel away from her wound, revealing a minigun like weapon in the hole in her head. This can rapid fire while the bandages can grab onto things or hoist Hero up. She can make this last for five minutes -- ten at the longest -- before she gives out to sheer exhaustion and needs to eat demon meat to replenish herself.

Within her first week in hell, she was known to be powerful. Not quite an overlord, but powerful enough to hang around overlords.

She hit overlord status three months later, during the terf war seen in Hazbin Hotel’s pilot: She took several areas of land, and was seen to have several lesser demons flocking to be on her good side.

Hero used her land to build up a bar and grill that serves strictly demon meat and blood, where demons can play music and dance. It’s like a fucked up country dinner. It’s an insanely popular addition to Cannibal Colony, where she lives.

The place is called La Cocina de la Calle Kuru (The Kuru Street Kitchen)

Hero REALLY wants to get her hands on exterminator tools, but she’s not really a fan of black market deals -- it’s too “trashy” for her.

Hero knows Alastor pretty well, as he’s came in for meat and to watch the music. They’ve had pretty decent conversations while she was on break, seeing as they were both influential southern, cannibalistic serial killers. It’s a running gag between them where they jokingly talk about who was more iconic -- “I bet I took out more belles in a lifetime than you could in your entire afterlife!” “Well hon, at least I could eat the brains without gettin’ Kuru!”

She talks to Rosie a lot about business, and has met Niffty and Mimzy before. (Al hooked a bitch up with some friends lmao)

She REALLY likes Mimzy. She reminds her of Ralphie, and they became super fast friends.

Vox and Hero have a confusing sort of friendship, as neither really wants to be seen with the other -- In his case, because she’s much lower on the overlord spectrum than him, and in her case, because she’s no stranger to Alastor and Vox’s hatred for one another. However, she often finds herself consoling Vox on sleepless nights after closing up the bar, trying to convince him that Valentino is NOT worth his time. Beyond that and him occasionally paying her back in tech at random hours of the morning, they don’t talk often.

Hero LOVES dancing! Like, a lot.

She’s seen Charlie’s ad for the Happy Hotel. Her and Mimzy watched it, and they both thought it was the stupidest damn thing they’d ever seen. However, Hero said she was happy Charlie got up there, because she was just, “Cute as a button, that lil’ sweatpea was!”

Hero’s best friends are Mimzy and an unnamed demon who specializes in black market, extermination tool selling (the one seen in in Addict -- Cherri Bomb’s former lover).

These two people, and these two people alone, can call her “Martha”

Hero cooks whenever she’s stressed. She also adores sewing and binging soap operas and reality shows on Voxflix.

Hero’s Instagram would be, “HeroicMelodies” in reference to her music career and name.

Hero gets hit on A LOT, and she despises it. She doesn’t need to seduce people anymore to get away with murder, and she doesn’t want to. She dresses the way she does because she LIKES that clothing. People can fuck off.

The reason Hero is white and pink is to show how innocent she looks. Her pitch-black eyes show her dark soul.

Hero sings in Spanish to herself when cleaning up.

Sometimes, Hero and Rosie spend holidays going around with ground demon meat to throw to the hell crows and other critters. They find it peaceful.

Hero, shockingly, holds no hatred for I.M.P., and commonly jokes about how the I.M.P.’s, “Did her a favor” by sending her somewhere she can actually be her. She has no idea who called for the hit, though.

Hero finds Blitzo’s Instagram posts being poorly spelled to be, “Damn near precious”.

She thinks he’s a teenager, and probably would think it less adorable if she knew he was a grown man with a grown kid.

Hero doesn’t care about Mrs. Mayberry at all. Like, at all. She honestly assumes the woman is in heaven. She knew Mayberry wasn’t bad -- she probably wouldn’t care if she was in hell, though. Oh well. Sucks to suck, bitch.

Husk frequents La Cocina de la Calle Kuru to drink and engage in the gambling scene. Hero finds him trashy, but can’t say she hates him. She finds him funny as hell, and enjoys the business. Just not someone she’d personally hang out with.

#Helluva Boss #Hazbin Hotel #Martha #Demon! Martha #Hero #Alastor #Vox #Rosie #Husk #Niffty #Mimzy #Headcanons #Head canons #AU #Sort off?#Hell #Mrs. Mayberry #Ralphie #Murder Family

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mariposalass · 3 years ago

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Sora’s Time to Shine

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Summary: Mari is already not putting too much expectations going into watching the Final Smash Presentation when someone close to her besides Kirby and Edelgard’s beloved Professor pops out of nowhere in said Presentation. All hell breaks loose (but in a good way).

Setting: Mari and co.’s house in Daly City, California; October 5, 2021

Notes: I was pretty behind in seeing the reveal since I was pretty tired when it came out and I had to check a friend’s post on Plurk to make sure that it was not all for the jokes before watching it on Gamespot and writing this story down. And yes, the Byleth in my S/I verse is the female version in case anyone is curious. And yes, it took me until around 8 AM to write this up. Featuring Luther Vandross. Here is an ask I made on Sora’ behest during a F/O takeover long before he got confirmed recently. #SakuraiHasReachedtheImpossibleDream #Sora4Smash

Tags: Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, Super Smash Bros., Swift Keyblader, Smash Reveal, Sakurai has reached the impossible dream!, Sora for Smash, #Sora4Smash

“Hurry Mari, you’re about to miss it!” Kairi is dragging me out onto the sofa to see the final Smash Ultimate Presentation on the living room pretty early before plopping ourselves onto the sofa.

“Look, Kairi, guys. I hate to be a party pooper, but I have no clue about who could it be,” I try to be realistic in my views.

“Well, at this point, my beloved, it could be anybody from the video game world,” my dear Philip chimes in while trying to reassure me, “Besides, as soon as it is done, we shall try to reply back to this non Smash invitation that El had found in the mail today.”

“Huh, is that correct, El dear?” I asked my regal adopted daughter for confirmation.

“Why yes of course, Mother,” she replies as she passes me the invitation, “I believe that a friend of yours has sent us one, but I didn’t want to open it immediately since this is addressed to you.”

“Okay then, I will get to read it and reply back once the Presentation is over and see who gets to fight with Kirby and Professor Byleth,” I smiled back at her.

“I couldn’t believe that there was a leak that just came out before this Presentation video and it is about music. Who was that dense enough to do it at a time like this?” Riku mumbles as he gets the video streaming on the Nintendo Direct page in his laptop.

“You know, Riku, sometimes people can act very idiotic at times, so there isn’t much we can do besides ignoring and avoiding that as much as possible,” Harry sighs as he is bottle feeding and gently rocking Serena as she had cried a while ago to be bottle fed.

“Guys, have you guys seen Sora lately?” Issa asks us while carrying Chris in her arms, “I haven’t seen him in the last few days. He didn’t even reply back to either my or Kairi’s texts and calls. Do you think he’s off to visit Jack and Sally in Halloween Town? It’s nearing Halloween soon.”

“That’s really a good question, Issa,” Ahk agrees, “I had given up trying to find him by calling over on the phone since last Thursday. All I have gotten from it were many ‘The subscriber could not be reached’ messages.”

Even Riku and Kairi are in a loss for words as they turn to each other and wonder what is up with our friend lately. Did he just went poof without us knowing? Kirby always informs us through his many Poyos that he would have to head off to Smash whenever a new tourney starts or a newcomer arrives and Edelgard’s class often gets shorter class schedules or early dismissals whenever Professor Blyeth gets to fight in Smash: she is the professor handling the Black Eagles class. Sometimes even El, Petra and Dorothea along with a few others (and yes, that includes the Gatekeeper) would come over to Smash to spectate from the sidelines and support their beloved Professor.

There is a long silence when the Nintendo Switch title card plays in the laptop and Karina directs us all to watch the screen to see many clips featuring many Smashers in the current tournament before it transitions to Sakurai-san in the studio explaining about the video as well as showcasing the Mii Fighter costumes.

“Hey look, Isabelle the Dog’s demon slaying friend from Bethesda is now coming to Smash to rip and tear up the competition!” Moana screams when the Doomguy Mii Gunner costume appears.

“Good for him; I know that many fans really did want him to be in Smash, though the costume is a nice addition,” Issa agrees. “That now makes three Bethesda franchises represented in the costumes.”

“Even the Octolings and Judd the Cat got hats based on them too,” I chime in as well.

“Oh hey, guys! Sakarui’s about to reveal the last fighter for the Second Fighter’s Pass, so keep down it and don’t expect too much,” Karina informs as Sakurai transitions to the main event and we all stay silent and stay glued to our seats.

The screen turns black before the usual Smash logo opening shows up, but instead of the usual zoom in, it then turns into a flaming Smash logo with all the Smashers up until Kazuya Mishima (yeah, the guy who tried to drop Kirby off a cliff) looking at it and covered in the shadows. Did MH decided to get them to show up in there and meet the last fighter in the dark? Probably, I bet that he might be keeping it as a surprise and possibly even conserving electricity at the same time. Then cut to Inkling Girl looking in awe with the Smash logo reflecting onto her pupils as a nice ode to the first reveal trailer for the game/tourney, I honestly love this shot.

Wait a minute, the logo turns into stars and the next scene shows everyone frozen in place as toy-like ambiios?!? How is it even possible? Well, it does certainly confirmed once again that the video game version of the tourney is set in a world of make believe after all. I could swear that a lot of people crying their eyes out as they are watching this. It looks like this is the end of one great video game series about mascots fighting among each other. Or is it? Because the camera is aiming at Mario as if he looks like he’s trying to take a nap while standing up.

Riku then proceeds to mumble some words to me incoherently that something big is coming the moment Mario wakes up to see a glowing light to see the last remaining flame glowing on the floor, which I do agree with him. Suspicious right? Oh God, Mario no! Please don’t touch the fire for everyone’s sanity. Wait, hold on a second: that isn’t not just fire that he just grabbed on and then tossed it into the sky like a boomerang: the mystery object looks like a Keyblade and there’s that Mickey keychain! Yep, that’s a Keyblade alright. Could it be...

I could recognize that beam of light that Keyblades often produce whenever they lock and unlock Keyholes to other worlds, so does everyone in the room. Riku and Kairi hugged onto each other as if we’re about to brace for an emergency (Karina and Moana also did the same), Ahk stares at the screen to see if he’s not imagining things all the sudden, Issa has her mouth drop in shock, Chris and Serena didn’t cry throughout this entire presentation, Harry gasps and nearly drops Serena’s bottle, Philip turns to me for answers while Edelgard begins to sweatdrop in concern.

No words are exchanged as the light grows and shines brighter before it proceeds to shoot itself away from the Keyblade to reveal a Keyhole on another part of the room. It then glows bright within as the camera switches back to the rest of frozen Smashers as the light begins to fill the room and revives Link, Cloud, Incineroar and Mewtwo as they all gawk at it as it reveals something from the World of Light with the orchestral rendition of Simple and Clean playing in the background. And that’s when it hits us right at the gut: the familiar spiky brown hair poking out from that Keyhole.

“What!?!” Kairi shouts as the Keyhole ‘spits’ out Sora from the World of Light.

“H-h-he actually got in, for real?” Riku squeaks up.

“Oh my…” I gasp in pure shock as we watch the whole thing played out.

“Sakarui finally did it?” Issa adds in to the discussion.

“Well, it’s about time that they managed to get his darn behind into the tourney,” Karina seconds in.

Soon enough, Sora finally wakes up from his nappy time and takes notes from Peter Pan and Tinkerbell as he flies around, sprinkling fairy dust all over the other Smashers, before landing on the floor and the Keyblade flying back to his hand.

“Damn it, Sora!” I scream as the splash screen pops in.

“Kai, your boy has finally made it big time!” Moana shakes Kairi in congratulation rather rapidly that it nearly gives my lil sis a dizzying spell.

“Moana, please don’t make Kairi that dizzy,” Harry had to tell her that.

“Whoops! Sorry Kairi,” she apologizes to her which she accepts.

So with that, we switch back to Sakurai going in depth with Sora’s moveset after he discussed about the Kingdom Hearts games and world. And he has gotten 4 costume changes, man Sora, that’s a big wardrobe you’re bringing in, oh wait, he even got the Timeless River costume too. That makes it 5 then.

“Oh gods, Sakurai is making us suffer by watching Sakurai using Sora to beat up everyone,” Ahk tells us as the Sora moveset showcase begins.

“No kidding,” Harry muses as we see Sora beating everyone in Battlefield.

“Whoa, they went for Sealing the Keyhole instead of having Trinity Force with Donald and Goofy? What a bummer,” Karina bemoans in dismay.

“Well, you know modern Disney: too overprotective of their IPs,” Philip reminds her.

“Oh new stage, what could it be?” Riku gleefully chimes in before they reveal Hollow Bastion as the stage, “Whoa, Hollow Bastion. I never thought that you will return again.”

Then the stage changes into Dive to the Heart and it had Riku and Kairi in the stained glass in one, Riku being the main focus of the second one, Roxas in the middle of the third, Xion in the fourth, Terra for the fifth, a sleepy Ven in the sixth, and Aqua’s in the seventh.

“Pretty!” I complimented the look of each stained glass.

“Quite impressive I will admit,” El agrees with me too.

Then Sakurai begins a playthrough with Sora facing Cloud and Sephiroth in Hollow Bastion, for a while, we all thought that he’s going to be a goner with Cloud and Sephiroth beating him up in the Stamina match but then the tides begin to turn in his favor after Sephy lost his full stock and with Sora having to take down Cloud next. When he did, the scene begins to go into a slow white fade out with a Game!

“Alright! Sora did it! He defeated both Cloud and mean old Sephy,” Riku cheers on.

“Woo! Go Sora!” me, Kairi, Moana, and Karina screams aloud.

“That was brilliant!” Harry agrees before he turns to Serena, “Did you hear? Uncle Sora managed to defeat two opponents in a Smash Ultimate playthrough.”

“9 songs is better than nothing at all,” Issa observes, “It would be a licensing nightmare to talk to Disney if they can borrow a couple of songs from them and they straight up refuse to assist, oh well. Oooh, a Dearly Beloved Swing arrangement, nice! I better get that save file on the Switch prompto!”

“And check out that Spirit Board: Aunt Kairi has a Spirit of herself,” Edelgard informs us as the Spirit Board for KH is revealed.

“Oh gee, never thought that it could ever happen, but thanks,” she blushes.

“Hey, I got one as well, same with Axel, Xion, Roxas, Aqua, Terra and Ven,” Riku joins in, “Marina is so going to be happy to see her boyfriend as a Spirit. She will probably try to get him real soon.”

“You bet it right, Riku, you bet it right,” I nod and agree with that last statement.

“Oh hey, he’s going to be ready within a few weeks’ time,” Karina speaks up, “Neat! The roster is now complete.”

“Even Steve and Alex have amiibos of themselves being made, that’s even more wonderful,” Ahk takes note of it, “I’m pretty sure that Sora will have one of his own along with Pyra, Mythra, that jerk who tried to threw Kirby off a cliff, and even Sephiroth soon.”

“WHAT?!? Kingdom Hearts are coming to the Switch too!?!” I am surprised to hear the news as Sakurai reveals this new information, that is so mind-blowing.

When it fades to black then to the Ultimate mural, the camera then goes for the space between Ganondorf and Dark Samus to fill in Sora’s spot before panning back. Man, this Presentation is long and is finally ending, thank God; it must be tiring to sit down and watch a nearly hour long video as Sakurai showcases the screenshots he has made and showed off in Twitter. Man, so many memories and montages. And the achievements, wow, that is a lot of them, it will be a game feat that I don’t think it will be broken for a long time.

Man, I will miss the presentations and Sakurai’s corny jokes for sure. I wish him a nice deserving break from all the game development for sure as he gives thanks to everyone from the devs to the players to the people prompting the game and ends it off with a heartfelt goodbye as it fades to back into the full reveal trailer.

“Oh gee, I’m going to miss the Smash Presentations,” Kairi sighs, “I can’t believe that we’re coming to an end.”

“Man, it’s finally over,” Riku gasps in remark as the full trailer plays out, “I don’t think that there will be a game like Ultimate for a very long time. That’s for certain.”

“I agree, Riku. It’s to going to be a tough act to follow up on,” I add in before I look up at the ceiling and murmur some words, “It’s been a long time coming, Sora. You truly deserve that last spot, you really do. Have fun in the tourney and Smash Mansion, buddy.”

Sora is Finally Here!

The End

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blaster-aichi · 4 years ago

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Cardfight!! Vanguard Extra Story IF 22 things

forgot to post this, heck

Aw, cute shopping trip because they feel things are drawing to an end, barrier or no — [gets distracted by the little girl who looks just like Shingo]

Given the topic of conversation, felt Emi’s downcast expression was a hint of bittersweet realization that her time with Shuka is running down, then get smacked with even ruder sads.

There’s something massive ironic about Majesty Lord being pulled to the antagonistic side of battle after his role in the original Season 1 and embodying unification between Royal and Shadow Paladins when things get dire, now faced against the both of them.

Ren taught Shuka ‘Bukki’, bless.

Very appreciative of the explanation why Majesty Lord was so importaant to Shuka to Realize, though curious as to why he wouldn’t manifest in the first place.

MISAKI SIGHTED. Please don’t relegate her to post-Legion Mate Quatre Knights of voiceless cameos.

Side-eyes Emi for picking cards purely because of their cuteness, your friend’s calling you out.

With the truth of what led Aichi to ruling Sanctuary, Emi’s moment of finding no alternative but for the blame to fall on him is very relatable; at least some of us have been grasping at any explanation because we couldn’t imagine Aichi doing this of his own will, it’s incongruous with his character, and Emi may have been doing the same, but with options whittling down, she’s been forced to face that scenario that this has been all by his design and it upsets those of us who have been trying to figure out any other scenario, but to her, naturally it’s world-shattering.

How dare you fuckers use the same sads track from episode 7 where she was talking about the Aichi she knew.

He looks so worn down and I’m so upset. — Even his tone when speaking reflects his exhaustion and reluctance to deal with shit. Please let me hug him.

Is this the first time he’s said ‘Toshiki’? Feels like this is the first time he’s said ‘Toshiki’.

Even when they don’t meet, fate crams them into one another’s heads. That’s gay. (But doesn’t go the Legion Mate route and make it a clean injection, both of them have become tremendously distressed and pained and I scream).

Takuto, you can’t just say that in front of him?!

Emi actually draping Aichi’s jacket over her shoulders is so cute, she really is giving it a piggyback ride. After he mentioning it aloud how he left it behind, half-expect returning it to be one of her first gestures once he’s brought out of his antagonist role.

Takuto’s referencing Outside World Aichi brings back thoughts of the previous theory that IF Aichi had been doing all this in an effort to reach outside IF, why do you hurt me in these ways after that backstory, Bushi? At the same time, Takuto needs shaking if he had any inclination that IF Aichi would have the mental fortitude to cope with that possibility existing elsewhere after a lifetime of loneliness.

The poor boy hid in the shadows and hunted for Kai-kun just to verify Takuto’s theory and torment himself more, sweetie no... Considering his methods for keeping his very existence from the potential of breaking the IF illusion, it’s consistent, but sweetie no...

Takuto onto Aichi’s bullshit. The post before this clarifies, but his solemn delivery and feeling responsible for accidentally instigating everything, would like to hope he’ll be able to make a move in helping to rectify Aichi’s state.

Two things: You’re saying he had nothing to pass on through Miwa? And why did he never contact Suiko or Rekka before? Because there was no certainty they were inside IF? Isn’t it apparent they would follow once he and Kourin never returned? Did he even try?

Sad Rena howling noises in the background.

If Aichi is banking on her saving him, never let him know there was a moment where it all got too much and Emi gave up on him. — She’s doing the Misaki episode thing again. — Though it’s understandable the guilt she must feel; they might be correcting the timeline, but she’s conveyed her feelings before that each iteration of a person isn’t any less valid than another; though Kai-kun has come to terms with and accepted that there is another version of himself in a “proper” timeline, the same is essentially true for Aichi and Emi, who for all we know, could/will vanish along with him. It might not just be Emi sympathizing with others and not wanting to write them off as incorrect versions, but trying to validate her own and her brother’s existences as well.

Suiko and Shuka are onto the price the group are going to pay regardless; the preview isn’t subtle about it. Whether it’s Shuka having to move onto another place where more cards are waiting for her to rescue them or something more final awaits her, it’s difficult to tell. Though the former is simply a part of her journey and might not evoke the sorrow from someone like Suiko, it might be a sore spot for her, particularly with everything she, Kourin and Rekka lost, faced with having to watch the same happen to someone else. But Emi herself seems already be aware of this, she’s a smart girl.

IF 23

Squad goals. Squad goals.

Aichi looks ready to straight up murder and have to wonder who taught you how to pull those faces, boy?

If you’re going to be fighting in the area, please keep the babies safe from harm. Who knows what they might see?

What space-time commotion did you guys cause to alert all the other major characters across the city?.

On the one hand, more Majesty Lord Aichi aaaaaaa. On the other hand, that episode title, screams. (Now are you guys directing that to Aichi, Kai-kun or Shuka? Sus)

This take on the “They Never Met” story:

It’s taken a while for the fact IF is taking the route it is with the story to sink in; a lot of thoughts and feelings are still incredibly jumbled, but here goes An Effort.

As someone who's childhood has a lot of overlap with Aichi’s, it’s incredibly painful to actually see him endure it without the beacon of hope that gave him solace and the toll it’s taken on him to endure it. Having a loving family and a sibling could alleviate the pain, there are fond memories with things with my family that don’t make my childhood an unending nightmare, and it’s apparent that he and Emi were particularly close; though understand that by 16, he’s exhausted by it all, pretty sure I was.

I want to believe that he was able to find at least one other hobby to keep his life from being completely devoid of happiness; reading, writing, art, a love of animal, photography, meeting people on the internet, there has to be something. There are plenty of outlets that could have channelled his imagination to keep it from building with no freedom. The lack of clarification about what he spent his time doing does nothing to help this belief or deter the fears that he really never tried to find anything, and really hoping that’s able to change before the season is through.

But something about Aichi’s reasoning really doesn’t line up. He claims to be doing this so that he be the only one who has to suffer. And really struggle to fathom how he could think so when Emi and Shizuka, would and are suffering with him. Emi’s own pain has been right in his face and he’s turned away, he can’t be that narrow-minded to think she isn’t in anguish or that forgetting him would magically erase that of her or Shizuka.

My understanding (or interpretation, headcanon, what have you) of Aichi has always been that his unrelenting kindness stems from knowing well the absolute agony of complete loneliness and hopelessness, so he acts to help alleviate or prevent the same feeling upon others. Vanguard shouldn’t have any bearing on that trait staying with him or not; that’s something within Aichi, not created by one facet of his life that appeared one day, particularly when he’s even more familiar with such a rock bottom, even if the exhaustion of it weighs on him; he’s always put on a smile and done his best for someone else’s sake, no matter the cost to himself — and that is what he’s doing, but it’s incredibly difficult to believe he can only manage that demonstration of kindness towards others when he’s connected to or aware of Vanguard.

I can understand Aichi being worn down, I can understand him being a bit hostile and reluctant. But to lack his good heart and throw everything away, to put his family through the nightmare he has been, I can’t understand that, it just isn’t him. He isn’t that dependent on Vanguard to be a good kid.

With how vital the event and relationship are to both Aichi and Kai-kun, to explore the possibility that they would never meet is fascinating, but this feels like a lukewarm attempt at it, at least in regards to what this episode covered and that in itself is saddening, it feels like an incredible premise with wasted potential, just like Legion Mate. It saddens me immensely that this is how they tell that story, more so when it’s the last one we might ever have from this cast.

Late-Bloomer PsyAichi:

The only possibility, and this is very much a last-ditch at this point, draws on ideas from Override (is there an IF plan in the works? laughs with shovel maybe since the day before epi 1 aired), so chances are these might be as swiftly debunked as other ideas.

With the rapid influx of memories breaking through the IF illusion, Aichi’s imagination’s shackles were released, according to Takuto. The result was Psyqualia overloading Aichi, its poisonous nature of the original continuity repeating itself as a result of festering inside of him for years without usage.

By retaining this nature, it amplifies Aichi’s fixation on Kai-kun, maybe through an amalgamation of other PsyAichi remnants in line with the original continuity who became overwhelmed by that obsession blinding him to the pain that other characters have experienced through their connections with Vanguard or the suffering he’s putting his own family through to see IF secured.

His mind struggles to contend with the sudden explosion of power and his sanity withers when viewing possibilities that he was never granted, reinforced by Takuto’s claim that Kai-kun’s life is better as it is, of Aichi’s strength in those other worlds, of longing to reach his alternative selves and feel his existence holds any value. He doesn’t truly have control over himself as a result of this madness, which is why he refers to Kourin by just her name.

How Sanctuary itself formed, there’s just nothing that comes to mind. Unless IF has special properties that just haven’t been explained that allow for more supernatural events to occur — like Sanctuary’s appearance, the battlegrounds that don’t inflict real world damage on their sites — can’t really wrap head around how Aichi was able to create it.

The original distortion’s root:

Something else that still doesn’t make sense is Shuka being led to Blaster Blade as a withering existence. And as Aichi himself never played a part in that, the past couple of weeks had had me suspicious of Nome, and other fans have been pointing fingers his way as of late. His disappearance in episode 1 hasn’t been addressed, and it’s odd for him to so briefly show up only to seemingly play no part.

It’s just a possibility, but he, whether tainted by something Brandt or sibling jealousy, tampered with the Akashic Records to lure Shuka in and cause the accident that prevented Kai-kun and Aichi from meeting, shaping IF Aichi’s life to keep him from deviating from a path that Nome had set for him, using someone else’s brother (and someone known to be a powerful force is let loose) as a weapon.

If Brandt has a part in any of this, perhaps he infected Aichi with it, to allow it/his Psyqualia/imagination to overload him when exposed to the truth beyond IF.

This is all just grasping at straws at this point because really struggle to see Aichi doing this of his own accord and I believe him to be better than this, I want to believe the writers do too.

#Cardfight!! Vanguard #Cardfight!! Vanguard IF #cfv spoilers #idk i'm just sad and other feelings that don't know how to word #this feels even more difficult to take than if he was being completely controlled or manipulated or something

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eldritchteaparty · 4 years ago

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Chapters: 2/? Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Sasha James, Rosie Zampano Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Fix-It, Post-Canon Fix-It, Scars, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, I'll add characters and tags as they come up, Reference to injuries and blood

Chapter Summary: Jon and Martin have somehow found themselves back at the Magnus Institute, with Tim and Sasha and some complications.

Read at AO3 above or read here below the cut!

Chapter 1 on Tumblr here.

“Martin.” Jon’s whispered caution was unnecessary; Martin realized right after he did it that saying Tim’s name might not have been the best idea. They really knew nothing about this place, or who this man actually was. It didn’t seem to have fazed the man that looked like Tim, though. Or maybe he just hadn’t heard it.

“Where have you two been? And why are you out here? And… fuck, that’s a lot of blood.” The color drained from his face. “Is it—is it your blood? Oh shit. I’m—I’m calling an ambulance.”

He grabbed his phone.

“No.” Jon managed to push past Martin to sit up for the first time since they’d been here. “No. We’re fine.”

“Jesus, I don’t know how you could be unless—unless it’s not your blood?” The man who was maybe Tim didn’t seem particularly ready to put his phone away. “Please tell me you didn’t kill someone.”

“No.” Jon shot a warning glance at Martin, who hadn’t actually considered arguing semantics at that moment. “It—it is mine. And… a bit of his.”

Martin started.

“You haven’t seen yourself,” Jon said quietly.

I guess not.

Maybe-Tim finally decided that he wasn’t going to call anyone, at least for the moment. “Can you—can you get up? I mean—you should—you should probably come inside, at least.”

With a small nod from Jon, Martin accepted help standing up, and found he was much steadier on his feet than he would have guessed.

As he helped Jon up in turn, Jon leaned into him. “Don’t say anything you don’t have to. I know—I know how this feels, but—”

“Yeah, I got it,” Martin answered. “I’m sorry I—”

“It’s all right.”

Maybe-Tim didn’t even notice their exchange; his attention was on his phone again. “I’m messaging Sasha. I’m… I don’t even know what to tell her. I’m just telling her to meet me in her office. Are you—are you really sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?”

He definitely just said he was messaging Sasha.

“Jon—"

“It’s fine.” Martin couldn’t tell if Jon was responding to him or simply answering the question, but it sufficed for both. “Let’s go.”

***

Walking into the Magnus Institute was unnerving in a way that Martin wasn’t prepared for. Yes, he had just lived through a fear apocalypse, but that was part of the issue. Every domain they had encountered had been its own nightmare, in one sense or another. Fears had been isolated and then amplified, exaggerated to the point where they couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than what they were: pieces of a literal hellscape. He had grown accustomed to knowing that no matter what unimaginably terrifying thing he had just seen, the next thing would be worse.

Here, there was just something off, something subtle, and subtlety wasn’t his specialty right now. This, well, it was the Institute, and also it wasn’t. Sure, there were some physical differences—a paint color that didn’t seem quite right, a sign indicating that the Office of Research was located on the third floor instead of the second—but those things didn’t make it not the Institute. Martin had worked there for enough of his life to see those kinds of things change before. That wasn’t what was getting to him.

It was the feel of the place. The feel was different somehow, but he couldn’t sort out in his own head exactly what he meant by that—he couldn’t even be sure it was true, or if it was maybe how it had been in their world too, and it was merely his memory of it that had been rewritten.

They followed Tim down the stairs to the archive. Martin had given up trying to think of him as anyone other than Tim. It wasn’t just his face, or his voice as he rambled about what a mess they were; it was the way he walked, what he did with his hands as he talked, his whole demeanor.

As they entered the reception area, Martin heard another familiar voice—he recognized Rosie’s practiced, cheery-but-professional tone immediately. He’d been overhearing it for years; it had become part of the general background noise of working in the archive for him. There was even something uplifting about it, given that the last time he’d seen her was passing her on the stairs on his way up that tower, with that ever-sinking feeling in his gut. She’d seen him too; they hadn’t spoken to each other.

Unfortunately, the feeling wasn’t mutual. She was startled enough when she saw them that the handset she was speaking into clattered to the desk.

“Oh.” She stood up. “Is—is everything ok? Do you need me to call someone?”

“I guess not,” Tim answered. “Look, we’re going to talk to Sasha and then—I don’t know.”

“Oh. Well… Ms. James is in her office. Please let me know if I can do anything?” Rosie seemed more upset than Tim, and Martin started to really understand what he and Jon must look like to—well, people. He had to admit, Jon did look pretty bad, and he had no idea what state he was in. He didn’t realize he had stopped walking until he felt Jon tug at his arm.

“S—sorry.” He couldn’t help but apologize to Rosie, who continued to stare after them as they entered the archival assistants’ office.

Martin was again struck by that peculiar mixture of recognition and unfamiliarity. So much in this office felt like he remembered it—his desk even had the same odd-colored back leg it always had. He recognized Tim’s desk too, almost exactly like it used to be, before Peter Lukas insisted Martin clean it out himself. It had been a relatively successful tactic for making sure he never wanted to go in there again.

And then there was Jon’s desk.

A wave of vertigo hit him, strong enough that he had to squeeze his eyes shut to fight it. Of course, Jon’s desk had not been in the assistants’ office—that was a simple fact—yet somewhere in his mind, it was almost like he remembered this version of things too, that this was the way it had always been.

When he was able to open his eyes again, he found that both Tim and Jon had stopped to look at him.

“Sorry. Something just—never mind. I’m fine.”

He looked at the head archivist’s office, which stood at the other end of this one, and the name painted across the frosted glass very clearly read Sasha James.

***

The four of them sat around the circular desk in the assistants’ office in an uncomfortable silence. After Sasha’s initial shock had worn off, and Jon had insisted yet again that they did not need to go to the hospital, she had asked Rosie to make them tea. That was the one positive point; at that moment, it felt like maybe the best tea Martin had ever had.

Tim finally spoke. “So… any chance of you telling us what the hell is going on?”

“Tim,” Sasha scolded. “Clearly, whatever happened, it’s not easy for them to talk about.”

“Well, it’s not easy for me to not talk about.”

Martin felt bad. “Sorry, it’s just—”

“It’s complicated.” Jon cut him off again.

“And are we also not going to talk about this?” Tim motioned toward their hands, which they held together on the table without thinking. Martin immediately moved to pull his hand away, but Jon tightened his grip with a firm never mind.

He left his hand where it was.

“Tim.” Sasha turned to face him. “They disappear for two months, we can’t find any trace of them, they turn up covered in blood and—well, not to mention all of the—the weirdness that’s been happening in the meantime, and that’s what you want to talk about? Really.”

Martin glanced sideways at Jon. Gone for two months—what did that mean?

“Yes! Yes, it is. You can’t tell me you don’t want to know.”

“Tim, I just think—” Sasha sighed and shook her head before turning back to Jon and Martin. “Are you really sure you’re ok? I mean, we—looked for you, we tried reporting you missing. We even had an officer come out here—what was her name, Tim? You had her card last.”

“Alice Tonner,” Tim replied.

Martin squeezed Jon’s hand.

“Right, her partner called her something else, though… Anyway, the thing is, they didn’t seem very interested. Like… she asked if we’d been in touch with your families or anything, and well, obviously we hadn’t, and she just said something about people picking up and moving all the time, and—well, I don’t think they even bothered filing an official report. They said they’d check in again, but we never heard from them. We even tried calling them a couple of times, I left messages, but they never got back to us. I mean, I’m sure they’ve been busy, but—”

“What do you mean, they’ve been busy?” Jon asked. Martin was surprised Jon would venture a question.

“Well…” Sasha seemed to consider whether she should continue, but she did. “The thing is, since you’ve been gone, some odd things have been happening. Not like, on the news or anything, just to people. We’ve even had a few come here, to the Institute, wanting to talk to someone about—well, what they think has happened to them. I guess we have a kind of reputation. But of course, no one knows what to do with them, so they send them down to the archives—and I mean, I do talk to them, I guess? Take some notes? But that’s not really—”

In the middle of her explanation, Martin suddenly noticed how tired he had become; he was exhausted. Interestingly, it wasn’t entirely unfamiliar, because it was the exact thing he and Jon had experienced when they first arrived at Upton House. It made sense, he supposed—after all, they hadn’t really been sleeping, however long they had been here—but the fact that it made sense didn’t help him go back and prepare for it.

He heard a commotion, the sound of chairs being shoved from the table, felt hands and arms helping him to lie down on something. Somewhere, amid the rest of the noise, just before he lost consciousness, he heard Jon insisting again that they were ok, that Martin just needed sleep. He knew Jon wasn’t talking to him, but it helped.

***

Hours later, Martin woke. He was still horribly tired, he could barely open his eyes, but once he realized Jon wasn’t nearby he wouldn’t let himself go back to sleep.

As he forced himself into wakefulness, the first thing that really came into focus was the sofa. He had been sleeping on a sofa, which hadn’t been a fixture in the assistants’ office where they came from—yet he remembered it had been in that office, briefly. Tim had brought it in with a friend one day, early on, claiming they needed somewhere a bit more “welcoming” when patrons came to visit the archive. Frankly, Martin had agreed with him, although he wasn’t sure he’d wanted to know all of Tim’s plans for it. The chairs in the office were particularly stiff, and although it wasn’t exactly Tim’s point, he could have used a comfortable spot to take the occasional break. Of course, Jon had immediately insisted it was unprofessional, and when Elias—Jonah—had backed him up, Tim and his friend had grudgingly hauled it back out again a few days later.

Here, though, Sasha had approved, with the caveat that it needed a new cover. Tim had happily obliged, and of course, Jon had ended up using it more than anyone, thanks to his insistence on keeping late hours when—

Wait, what?

He tried to remember more, but Martin now found it impossible to recall. It was strange, just moments ago he’d had such a clear picture of Jon—

Jon.

He sat up to find Tim at his desk, already looking at him.

“You all right?” Tim asked.

“I’m—yeah, I think so. Just tired.”

“I really can’t believe we haven’t called someone, Martin, you two—”

“Where’s Jon?”

“What?”

Where’s Jon?”

Tim gave him an odd look. “He’s in Sasha’s office. As soon as we got you on the couch he passed out. We managed to haul him in there and bring in that old cot from the back room.”

“Can I see him?”

Tim shrugged. “I suppose.”

Martin was relieved to find Jon sleeping peacefully on the cot when they entered, quiet, still. Breathing. His eyes were closed for the first time since—well, since the first few nights they had spent together in Scotland.

“Has he… has he been sleeping like this?” he asked, glancing as Sasha.

“Like what?” she asked.

“Like… normal.”

“I think so,” she said. “I haven’t noticed anything.”

Martin nodded, fighting a sudden surge of emotions too complicated to identify.

“Are you all right?” Sasha asked.

“Yeah, I’m all right,” Martin lied, before thinking of a second, slightly more truthful answer. “Actually I’m—I’m kind of hungry.”

Fortunately, Sasha kept extra food in her office, just in case she had to stay late; unfortunately, at the moment it just happened to be canned peaches. Martin briefly considered holding out for something else, but the empty pit in his stomach disagreed with that idea. Instead, he went with option two, getting it over with—and by the time Sasha had found a spoon for him he’d already downed half the can.

“Well,” said Tim, “that looked extremely unpleasant. In several ways, actually.”

“Sorry.”

Martin was just starting to worry about what he was going to say to fill the time when Jon stirred on the cot behind him. Martin wordlessly handed him what was left of the can of peaches. Jon was obviously disoriented, but ate readily enough after Martin got the spoon from Sasha for him. They watched him in silence for a moment, until Tim snapped his fingers suddenly enough to make Martin jump.

“I forgot, I—hang on.” He disappeared into the assistants’ office, and came back with a couple heavy plastic bags looped over his arms. “We’ve been keeping these in the back. It’s the clothes you left here. The police weren’t interested in them. Thought maybe you’d want to change? You do look a bit…”

Martin knew he was pushing it a little bit, but he asked anyway. “What do you mean, the clothes we left here?”

“They were just… there,” Tim answered. “On the floor in the office. Thought maybe you were pulling some sort of prank for a bit, but then of course you didn’t turn up.”

Martin looked at Jon, who paused mid-mouthful. He’d forgotten about that little complication, the Jon and Martin who had apparently disappeared from this place. The longer he thought about it, the more uncomfortable it made him. Jon swallowed and set down the can, which Martin noticed he hadn’t finished. “I think… I think we will get changed.”

Tim handed them the bags and waved toward the empty assistants’ office. “All yours.”

As they dumped the clothes out on the floor, they could hear Tim and Sasha speaking in low voices next door. Martin couldn’t make out what they were saying, although it was clear Tim was very unhappy—but at least it seemed reasonable to assume no one would be able to hear them, either.

“Jon,” Martin said after a moment, “do you think we—I mean, the Jon and Martin that—”

“Don’t think about it.” Jon was already halfway out of the clothes he’d been wearing. “Not yet. We need to get out of here. I need to—I need time. To think. And we need more rest. But not here.”

Martin couldn’t argue with that, but he also had no idea where to go. He sighed, and turned to the clothes that had been in the bag. Although he couldn’t recall if he’d owned that exact jumper, he would never have bet he didn’t. And as it turned out, the trousers fit him perfectly—he didn’t know why it surprised him. At his height, and well—general size—he’d always had a bit of trouble finding clothes that fit, so he supposed it was mostly that he didn’t want to accept they had belonged to him. A different him, that maybe no longer existed.

He sighed and turned back to Jon, half wondering why he hadn’t been hurrying him along—and found him frozen with an expression on his face that Martin would have placed somewhere between worry and surprise.

“Jon?”

“I’m—” Jon started to answer, but then stopped.

“Jon?” he prompted again.

“Look.” Jon held out his hand toward Martin, and he realized it held a set of keys.

“Are those—yours? Um, his?”

“They were in the trousers. A phone, too. But I—” Jon stopped again.

“Jon, are you—”

“I touched them and—Martin, I know where he lives.”

“What, like, know?” Martin pointed upward, a gesture he’d adopted a long time ago when referring to the Eye.

“Not like that. It’s different.”

As soon as Jon said it, Martin recalled the experience he’d had when they’d entered the assistants’ office, and also when he’d woken up on the sofa—memories from a place and time that he shouldn’t have had. “Oh.”

“We need to leave.” Jon was starting to sound a slight bit panicked, and Martin knew they really would need to find a way out soon.

“Ok, ok, but… where do we go?”

“Here,” Jon said, holding up the keys.

“Oh, Jon.” Martin felt a little sick. Those peaches weren’t sitting well.

“I know—just—don’t think about it.”

“Look, are you sure we can even get in? I mean, if they’ve been gone for two months—”

“Tim and Sasha don’t even think there was an official police report. I’ve always had my rent… I’m—I’m sure he…” Jon trailed off.

Martin didn’t like it, but Jon wasn’t looking good. He gathered up their discarded clothes and packed them into the bags, not wanting to leave anything behind. “All right. Let’s just… tell them we’re leaving, I guess.”

It went over about as well as he expected. Tim simply threw up his arms, and even Sasha lost her composure a bit. “Are you sure? I mean—you don’t seem—even if you don’t want to talk to us, you probably should really at least go see a doctor. Can we take you?”

“I’m sorry,” Martin said. “I know—I know this has been—”

“It’s been absolutely ridiculous!” Tim cut him off. “You haven’t told us anything. What were you even doing outside in the first place? Where have you been? What happened?”

“I’m—I’m really sorry,” Martin stammered.

Sasha sighed. “What should we tell Elias?”

Martin wasn’t even touching Jon, and he still felt his body go rigid behind him. Oh god.

“Please, we’ll—we’ll check in.” He had no idea if they actually would, but it was the only thing he could think of to say. His available hand found Jon without turning around as he started to back out.

“We’ll check in,” Sasha said, as Tim continued to protest.

“Are you really just going to let them—”

Martin had an arm fully around Jon now, guiding him back out of the office.

“Tim, I really don’t know what you’d have me do here. Call the police again?”

He didn’t hear Tim’s reply, and was only vaguely aware of Rosie’s concerned stare as they made their way out.

***

They were a few blocks away when Jon nearly collapsed; Martin immediately dropped the bags of clothing he was carrying to help support him.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.” Thankfully, Jon did. “You ok?”

“Martin, I don’t—I don’t think it’s Jonah.”

“Um—ok,” Martin answered.

“I don’t see how it could be. There was no—there was no mechanism here, without—it wouldn’t have worked.”

“Ok,” Martin answered again.

“But also—” Jon drew a shaky breath. “You feel it, right? That it’s—not him?”

Martin didn’t bother asking for clarification; he knew what Jon meant, although he hadn’t felt it. “I don’t know. I think—it only happens when I’m not trying.”

“Hm.” Jon was drifting again.

“Wait—wait,” Martin said. “Are you saying—are you saying actual Elias Bouchard runs the Magnus Institute?”

“Yes, I—I think so.”

“How? Why?”

“Because—because he did in our world. Sort of.”

“What does that—”

“I can’t explain it right now. I can’t—I need time. I need…” His breathing, which had slowed, was starting to pick up again.

“Ok, ok—it’s fine. Jon—you’re ok.”

“Am I?” Jon asked.

“Yes—Jon, it’s all right. Look—just get us where we’re going and I’ll—I’ll take care of you.” He shifted his grip and ran his thumb over Jon’s cheek, trying to keep him there. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you until…”

“Until what?”

“Until—until you feel better. I’ll take care of you until you feel better.”

“And what if I don’t? What if I never do? What if—”

Martin didn’t know what else to do; all he wanted right then was for some of the worry to leave Jon’s eyes. He pulled Jon close and pressed their mouths together; he held him there until he felt some of the tension leave his body. It wasn’t an answer; he knew Jon had only given up struggling against their situation for the moment, but that would have to be enough. That would have to get him to whatever was next.

“You will.”

#the magnus archives #tma #mag pod #tma spoilers #jonmartin #tma fanfic #my writing

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loulougoingsolo · 5 years ago

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“Is it alive?”

I am a huge fan of True blood. I also have some degree of face blindness (as in sometimes, in some situations, I can’t recognize my own parents, or I mistake a stranger for a family member). I obviously know who Joe Manganiello is, and yet, when I first saw his face on today’s GMM, I thought to myself, oh, another celebrity guest I’ve never heard of. Until I heard his voice, and saw his name on the screen. Is it a bad excuse for not recognizing him, that I've mostly only seen him without his shirt on (and with a beard)? Once I saw past the hoodie and shaved face, I was a little starstruck. (I mean, even though I just recently wrote a rant about how all famous werewolves are male and it makes no sense, I have absolutely nothing against Alcide. He carried his canine heritage, and his fur, with honor.)

Talking about fur, is it just me or has Link appeared to be particularly fluffy in the head region recently? Is he growing his hair out, too? Rhett’s hair surely seems like it has lost the battle against gravity today, but maybe it’s just because for once, they have a guest who is almost as tall as he is...

Also, are they having some kind of “wear your bff’s clothes” week at Mythical? I could swear Link has worn that blue and pink shirt before, and the rust coloured shirt Link is wearing today looks more like something Rhett would wear (if my memory serves me, please correct me - but if I’m wrong, they definately should wear these shirts the other way around, too).

Today’s episode is the second edition of the amazing game of What’s on My Mask?, and just like the previous time, the true star of this game is the Mythical art team. Yes, the masks are weird, but they are also pretty cool and awesome.

Well, I can’t honestly call Larry the Cable Guy mask cool. I was quite surprised by how long it took Rhett to figure his mask out, but his thought process was a delight to watch. And Joe carefully explaining him that the mask is not something like in the Silence of the Lambs was hilarious. “Put the lotion in the basket.” I wonder if Link has seen that movie? At least he seems to get the reference.

It took a while, but Rhett finally managed to get from the Sausage man (through Kevin Bacon - Bill Worker - did he actually guess Mall cop? and the Cable Pasta Guy) to Larry the Cable Guy. I think even Link’s Walmart method might have gotten there faster. Let’s go to round 2.

Joe’s mask is like something from a steam punk nightmare. Very cool, but also pretty scary. Not only because I hate vacuum noises and they absolutely freak me out, but somehow not seeing his eyes through the mask makes this worse. I do wish they’d tilted the camera just a tad more, because the awesome mohawk of vacuum parts is barely visible.

Of course, Link managed to confuse Joe completely with his hints. I mean, yeah, technically you probably use a vacuum to clean your books, but that is a far stretch (I should probably vacuum my bookshelves at some point soon). For once, Rhett was doing the right thing trying to steer Joe’s thoughts away from anything Link said, and since he is starting to look a bit angelic with his long locks, Joe saying it feels like having the angel and the devil on his shoulders is pretty accurate. But how very L.A. is it that after Rhett says this is something you’d take into any room, Joe’s first guess is a bong, and not, say, a vacuum cleaner? Was this the first time in GMM history that Link actually used the word bong?

Once the cleaning appliances were out of the way, it was Link’s turn to guess.

The doll head mask Link wore in the earlier version of this game is iconic, but so is the ant farm mask. I’ve never had an ant farm, but if I’m not completely mistaken, it must have taken a while to get the system running, with all the tunnels and everything. And, there are trees and houses above the whole thing! I was dying watching Rhett and Joe follow the ants slowly creeping toward Link’s hair, while Link was perfectly oblivious to what he was wearing. I wish we’d been able to see his expression when they talked about the potential danger involved. His shoulders look worried.

“Is it alive?” “Yes.” “Is it contained?” “No.”

A few questions later:

“Are they gonna remember me?”

This sweet little man is worried about possibly traumatizing the poor things on his head. He is handling the situation surprisingly well, and somehow, he doesn’t panic quite as much as with the orbee in his ear as with an ant. The mask does get a little foggy, though.

In GMMore, the guys try to guess which Dungeons and Dragons creatures are real and which are not. I’ve never played DnD, probably mostly because I live in the middle of nowhere and there can only be so many geeks in one little town. I’d actually love dressing up in a costume for a game night, but the sad truth is, I have trouble finding anyone willing to even play Scrabble with me. I’d like to try DnD though, so far everything I know about the game is based on Stranger Things and iZombie, and now, GMM. Who would have known that the game has actual embassadors, and that Joe Manganiello is one of them?

Oh, and here’s a little tid bit of information regarding the word fartlek - which the guys try to define for the wheel ending. It’s originally Swedish, and means speed play (not the drug, but actual rate at which you are going kinda speed). Fart means speed, and lek means play. I do prefer the definition the guys came up with, though. It reminds me of a similar measure for distance used in Finnish Lappland, poronkusema, which means the distance between the times a reindeer needs to take a break to pee (they can’t run and pee at the same time). Apparently, this distance can be up to 7.5 kilometres. And this concludes the informative part of this post.

I do wish people still played more games without electronic devices. A game like Dungeons and Dragons leaves so much more room for imagination than a pre-directed video game, and the artwork shown for the real creatures is amazing. My problem with video games has always been that things get too intense - which is why I usually just make crossword puzzles instead. I wonder if my poor heart could take the excitement of DnD?

What a fun episode this was! I’m always impressed at how comfortable the guests seem to be on GMM. When you compare GMM to any regular talk show, they do so much more background research to make sure they have something that fits what the guest is interested in, and it shows. When the guests are having fun, it makes it so much more interesting to watch. I do hope Link gets to visit Joe’s house one day for a game night.

#gmm #gmmore #gmm 1681 #rhett and link #joe manganiello #what mask am i wearing?#real or fake dnd characters?#link wears an ant farm mask

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avaantares · 5 years ago

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FFVII:REMAKE - A Review

So I beat the game two weeks ago and started writing down my thoughts while they were fresh in my mind, but I didn’t post anything then because my one IRL friend who is also playing it hadn’t finished it yet and I didn’t want to risk posting anything spoiler-y. But the extra time has allowed me to play through the game again on Hard difficulty, which has allowed me to reconsider and elaborate on some of my thoughts. And frankly at this point I just need to dump my Very Big Opinions somewhere, so... here ya go.

I discuss visuals, gameplay, character and story below. I’ve tried to keep spoilers minimal up front, though obviously if you want to go into the game totally cold, don’t read this. All major spoilers are clearly tagged. All of it is below a cut to spare your dash.

Also, there are pretty pictures, because why not?

First, my background with this franchise: I played through the original FFVII multiple times; I’ve watched and rewatched Advent Children and Last Order, played Crisis Core, gave up on Dirge of Cerberus despite my deep love for Vincent Valentine (sorry, VV, but your game was just a mess), and lamented that Before Crisis wasn’t available in my country. I even played (and own!) Ehrgeiz, the obscure fighting game that featured the main cast. (Still bitter that they didn’t keep Miki Shinichirou as the voice of Sephiroth. He’s one of my faves.)

^ Ehrgeiz, a mediocre fighting game that forever endeared itself to me by including Turks!Vincent Valentine as a playable character. 💖

In short, I’ve been waiting for this game for DECADES.

So. Here we go. My thoughts on Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE.

The good:

The character models are very pretty. With individual pores, threads and scuffs visible, they’re so detailed that it’s almost impossible to reconcile them with the mouthless sprites from the original game – even more so than Advent Children (and dear goodness, that was over a decade ago now, wasn’t it?). Still, they’ve kept the costume details and absurd proportions largely intact (Barret’s fists are literally larger than Tifa’s entire head, yet somehow it works visually), so it’s not too much of a departure from the familiar.

They’ve kept the aesthetic. I was afraid the game would try to update the iconic world of Midgar, but by and large, it’s full of visually-arresting designs that preserve the gritty-industrial look and feel of the original.

Japanese version is included. BLESS YOU, Square Enix, for including the Japanese voices and character animations. Not only is it impossible for me to hear Cloud in anything other than Sakurai Takahiro’s voice, but the Japanese script is a bit nicer to the characters. I’m not really keen on the English dub… but more on that below.

They fixed the spelling of Aerith’s name. This may seem like a minor point, but considering it’s been 20 years and I’m still bitter that Devil May Cry still hasn’t corrected “Nelo Angelo,” it’s a small victory.

Improved combat. Admittedly, I wasn’t sold on the new combat system at first, but after playing through the game twice, I’ve come to really like it. It has a few rough edges and can get chaotic in some battles, but it does a decent job of blending the feel of an action game with turn-based strategy. The fact that you can switch to a more traditional turn-based system if you prefer is also nice. (I haven’t tried Classic mode yet, though.)

Weapon customization. The Skill Points system allows you to upgrade your loadout instead of acquiring new gear. The tutorial was somewhat lacking (I didn’t quite figure out the multiple-core-unlock thing right away), but I appreciated the ability to add materia slots or stat buffs rather than just cycling through a dozen swords that Cloud apparently keeps in his back pocket.

Background dialogue management. On the whole, the conversations as you run through town enhance the story without slogging down the gameplay; you don’t have to stop and talk to every single resident, because snatches of their conversation reach you (and your on-screen chatlog) as you pass. You can stop and listen for more detail if you want, or you can just keep moving. The extra worldbuilding is really nice.

The music. The orchestrated versions of the original themes are excellent (and some of those music cues gave me goosebumps… Did I spend way too many hours immersed in the original game? Probably). I can take or leave some of the collectible jukebox tunes, but the background music in general is good. (But did I earn that Disc Jockey trophy? Yes, yes I did.)

Supporting character development. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge actually have characters! And personalities! Clichéd ones, admittedly, but it’s an improvement over the original game killing them all off within the first few minutes. The game also does justice to the Turks, and actually surprised me with how much depth of character it gave Reno and Rude in particular (perhaps setting them up for a mini redemption arc so players forgive them for dropping a plate on tens of thousands of slum residents?). Their moments of concern for each other and (brief) crises of conscience made them more than the stock villains they were in the original game, more in line with their temporarily good-aligned characters in Advent Children. Tseng, likewise, was on point. However, I do have to qualify all this with one irate question: Where the heck is Elena?! Seems like the female characters are always getting left out… /sigh/

Improved plot devices. REMAKE cleans up some of the more questionable and outdated content from the original. As you likely already know from the demo, the new game somewhat exonerates the protagonists by having Shinra blow up their own mako reactor to turn public opinion against AVALANCHE (possibly because someone finally realized that it’s hard to sympathize with characters who are willing to melt down an entire reactor and kill a bunch of innocent civilians). AVALANCHE are still eco-terrorists, but they’re… terrorists with a conscience? I dunno, at least they feel bad when people die now… Likewise, the weird and uncomfortable Honey Bee Inn segment of the original game has been reborn as an amazing dance extravaganza. Less voyeurism/prostitution, more Vegas floor show (complete with minigame choreography) and makeover. The whole Don Corneo scenario is still hella creepy, but frankly, there’s nothing that can fix that.

Series references. Fans of the original will appreciate all the inside jokes and direct references to the original game and other franchise entries: One-off comments about Chocobo racing; a broken console in Wall Market that shoots at you; a framed picture of the original 32-bit Seventh Heaven; ads for Banora apple juice; side mentions of characters and plot devices from spinoff games; PHS communication… The game definitely pays tribute to its history. They even recreate the original loading screen and several of Cloud’s iconic poses/animations throughout the game:

The neutral:

Recycled gags. Look, I know Advent Children was the ultimate evolution of FFVII for a while, and admittedly, it did some things very well. The running gag with Rude’s sunglasses and the victory fanfare being used as a ringtone are some of the best moments in the film, in part because they were so unexpected. But as much as I enjoyed the repeated nods to AC in this game, they felt a little desperate, like there were no new jokes to insert so they had to double down on the ones they’d used the last time this franchise had a renaissance. (See Rude’s broken sunglasses, below.) And fitting into the series as a whole, it feels a little weird. Why is Rude’s ringtone the same as the clones’ from Advent Children? Does Barret really need to sing the victory fanfare over and over when he defeats an enemy? Is there supposed to be some history behind that song that was left out of the worldbuilding? It just feels too meta.

Arbitrary localization of names. I don’t really grasp why it was necessary to rename so many items and characters for the English market. Some changes make sense for localization (e.g. Whack-a-Box certainly works better for an American audience than Crash Box), but others seem arbitrary, like changing Aniyan Kunyan to Andrea Rhodea or Mugi to Oates (a play on the meaning of his name in Japanese, but... does it matter?). And then… well, I don’t want to spoil A Major Plot Element, but there’s another thing that changes names from one English word (in the Japanese track) to a different English word. Why? No idea. It doesn’t affect gameplay, and it’s not really a problem, but listening to the Japanese track, I found it jarring to have the subtitles contradict what I was hearing.

Underutilized characters. While the whole gamut of original FFVII characters make appearances, several of them aren’t used to full effect, or aren’t used at all to advance the story. Rufus Shinra’s bossfight is a decent challenge, but while his character was vital to both the original FFVII and Advent Children, his presence in this game is little more than a cameo. His fight could be cut or swapped out with any other boss, and it would have zero effect on the plot. Similarly, while Hojo is a key player in the full story (which this game doesn’t cover, since it’s only a fraction of the original timeline), he’s largely wasted here, except as a means of extending play time by making you wander through corridors and fight a bunch of monsters for “research.” (I have no idea what his motivation is; you’d think he’d be more interested in recapturing Aerith or Cloud, but instead he just... opens an elevator and lets them leave? after they beat up some midbosses.) Reeve Tuesti actually has a solid presence in this game, but since he’s ONLY ever active as himself, there’s no explanation for the random Cait Sith cameo in one scene (players new to the franchise probably have no idea why a random cartoon cat showed up for a few seconds and was never mentioned again). Obviously the plot arcs have to change when the game is covering only a few days’ time in a much longer story, and the major players need to be introduced at some point if they’re going to feature in later games in the series, but from a narrative standpoint, there are an awful lot of superfluous characters doing things for no reason in this installment.

The bad:

THE PADDING. Dear goodness, there is so much padding to make this a standalone game instead of just the first chapter of a longer adventure. I got really, really sick of running literally from one end of the map to the other on side quests – and that’s me, an avowed trophy hunter who spends hours scouring dark corners for collectible items in other games, saying that. So much of this game felt like time fill that didn’t really advance the story. It’s also full of unnecessary new characters with improbable Squeenix hair, like Roche the super-annoying motorcycle SOLDIER (below), or Leslie, Don Corneo’s doorman who somehow merits his own backstory and side quest. (Though in fairness, every FFVII sequel has added superfluous characters, with Crisis Core possibly being the worst offender.) But it just felt really drawn-out and bloated for a game of this generation. If this game had been as compact and tightly-written as the other games I typically play, it probably only would have taken me 15 hours to beat instead of 50. (I don’t actually know how many hours I spent on it the first time through, as I didn’t check the play clock before restarting on Hard difficulty. I do know it took me over 110 hours total to complete the game on both modes, though much of the second run was spent dying repeatedly on a handful of nasty fights. Hard mode removes items and MP replenishment, and if you run out of MP at any point during a chapter, you’re going to die. A lot.)

The pacing. Related to the above... the Midgar portion of the original game was just the setup for a larger story. It wasn’t meant to have its own complete dramatic arc so much as to introduce you to the world and the major players. Consequently, there are some really odd beats in this story, as well as a total lack of urgency in your mission. There are no natural places to slot in the side quests and minigames, so they’re shoehorned awkwardly between plot sequences. “Quick, our friend is in mortal peril and needs our help!” "Okay, cool, we’ll go rescue her after we spend ten hours running around town doing random errands for townspeople and playing games with the local kids.” Uh... what?

The graphics just aren’t as good as they should be. While the character models are gorgeous, there are a lot of low-res background textures and weird polygons that don’t quite match up with other components. Most egregious are the Shinra logos, which frequently get close-ups as part of the fixed camera work and, frankly, look like lossy JPEGs. (See image below, screencapped from a PS4 Pro. Those jagged edges on the logo are present throughout the entire game.) There are weird clipping errors and artifacted images and reflective surfaces that don’t reflect, making the game look more like something from the PS3 era than a 4K late-gen PS4 game. (And it’s not that we don’t have the technology: Uncharted 4 was released back in 2016, and the rendering of its vast world was twice as pretty. Devil May Cry 5, released in early 2019, has far more realistic textures and object interaction. Granted, those are different types of games with fewer NPCs to render, but I feel like there’s no excuse for a game this big to look this mediocre.)

The HUD could be better. The lower-corners concept is okay, though it took me a while to train my eyes to travel between both sides of the screen and track the fight action. But for a long time, I didn’t even notice the commands in the upper left corner of the screen, and after playing through the game twice I still have no idea what they say because I couldn’t focus on the tiny text long enough to read them while trying not to die in combat. (I just looked it up; apparently they’re combat control shortcuts? Huh, that would have been useful to know.) It wasn’t until my second time through that I realized there even WERE separate controls on screen during the motorcycle minigames; I had resorted to panicked button mashing to figure it out the first time through because there was no tutorial (you’re just dropped into the action) and, having ignored the small text for the previous hundred combats, I had no reason to look for on-screen instructions there. Not that it would have helped, since on many backgrounds the text in the upper left is really difficult to read (see below). It’s worth noting that I have better than 20/20 vision and played this game on a large TV screen and still had trouble reading some things; on a smaller TV, or for someone with less acute vision (like my sister, who is blind in one eye), I think even the basic menu controls would be difficult to see. While you can resize the font for subtitles, my cursory glance through the menu did not uncover an option to increase the size of the HUD.

Inter-fight menu mechanics. Specifically, the inability to save (or save loadout settings) between fights in a multi-part sequence. There are several back-to-back fights in which it is necessary to switch characters or change gear between bosses. The game treats them as one continuous fight, though it does allows you to access the equipment menu by holding square during key cutscenes. Which is good, if you only have one of a particular materia or accessory that you need to switch between characters, and in most cases when you die the game lets you restart just before your current fight instead of restarting the whole sequence -- also good, since some multi-stage bosses can easily take 20-30 minutes to beat, and if several of those are strung together in sequence, you’re in for a long play session to get past them. But since it’s treated as one fight, you can’t save between bosses (more than once, I had to leave my PS4 running in Rest Mode overnight and just hoped we didn’t have a power glitch), and if you happen to get killed and need to restart the fight, your loadouts reset. Which means if you’re, say, fighting the end boss on Hard difficulty and get killed in the first two minutes -- which happened to me a lot -- by the time you restart the fight, sit through the unskippable cutscene, access the menu and rearrange all the materia and accessories you need, you’re spending five or six minutes gearing up for two minutes of play, and then doing that over and over again every time you die. It gets really old.

The English dub script. *deep breath* Okay, look, I know I can be a bit elitist about translations, but I really do not like the English adaptation of this game. It makes Cloud come across as less socially-awkward and far more of a deliberate jerk, Aerith is mouthy and even swears (which is not accurate to her original character), and it downplays some of the symbolism that’s more obvious in the Japanese script. One quick example: When Aerith gives Cloud a flower, she says (in Japanese), “In the language of flowers, this means ‘reunion.’” It’s subbed/dubbed in English, “Lovers used to give these when they were reunited.” That’s a subtle difference, but since the concept of “reunion” is a freakin’ huge part of the FFVII plot, and since Sephiroth was on screen literally seconds before that line is delivered, my brain automatically went, “OMG REUNION!!!” while I’m guessing people listening in English only picked up on the romantic subtext. It’s a pretty minor thing, and of course translation is always a complex balancing act between literal meaning and local market understanding, but the English version just seemed to me to have a different vibe overall. (Unfortunately, the English subtitles are the same as the dub, so unless you can understand the Japanese audio you’re kind of stuck with that dialogue.)

[WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT]

- …And my #1 complaint about Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE is…

…it’s not actually a remake.

Sure, the game starts out the same way and covers a lot of the same events, but fundamentally, it’s a sequel, not a retelling. It’s evident from Cloud’s future-oriented visions throughout the game that something else is going on, and the ending MAKES NO SENSE if you don’t already know the story. Heck, even the rest of the game doesn’t really make sense if you don’t know the story -- Sephiroth’s presence is never explained; Zack isn’t even introduced, just shows up randomly at the end; Cloud’s flashbacks of Tifa and her dead father in Nibelheim are left as a complete mystery (and since she evidently remembers the burning of her town, judging by her dialogue outside Aerith’s house, why doesn’t she even react when Sephiroth shows up?).

The core elements of the plot – the Feelers (Whispers) preserving a specific fate; the three entities from the future (whose weapon types just happen to correspond to certain named characters) defending their timeline; the return of post-Advent Children Sephiroth (the only time we’ve seen him in human form with one black wing), who has inhabited the Lifestream since his death and promised that he would never truly disappear, who in the end appeals to Cloud directly for an alliance rather than attempting to control him, because he knows now that Cloud is strong enough to defy the Reunion instinct; the change in the outcome of story events in which Biggs (and, unconfirmed as to which timeline he’s actually in, but quite possibly Zack) now survives his intended death -- all point toward Sephiroth trying to manipulate destiny into an alternate outcome in which he is victorious, and using this naive version of Cloud to facilitate it. That means this game is taking place in an alternate or splinter universe, created at some point after the events of the original Final Fantasy VII, and possibly even after the events of Advent Children.

All of that is fine from an overall continuing-story perspective – it opens up a lot of interesting possibilities, like the fact that Aerith might survive now that Cloud has seen prescient flashes of her death (among other events), and there are opportunities for more story twists and changes from what players might expect. But touting this as a remake of the original game has the potential to confuse players who are new to the franchise. FFVII was groundbreaking back in 1997, and it defined JRPGs for an entire generation of Western gamers. But that was more than two decades ago, and a lot of current gamers weren’t even born then, so while they’ve probably heard of the classic game, they aren’t necessarily steeped in its lore. FFVII:R relies heavily on prior knowledge of the series to carry its twist ending, so it largely fails as a standalone game.

Also, speaking as a longtime fan of the franchise… I honestly found the ending rather lackluster. It was a twist, of sorts, but not the sort of shocking, mind-bending revelation that made the first game so iconic. Granted, it’s hard to follow an act like revealing that your protagonist’s entire identity is a lie, not to mention killing off one of your main characters a third of the way into the story! But when the surprise ending is just, Surprise! We’re going to change things up a bit this time around so you aren’t entirely sure what’s coming! Also, here’s a gratuitous Sephiroth fight because everyone expects that, even though it doesn’t serve the main story at all nor resolve any conflicts previously established within this game! it smacks of Different for the sake of Being Different, not for the sake of a really amazing storyline they’re hiding up their sleeve. It’s a bit of a let-down, and I find that I... just... don’t really care that much. Which, for someone who’s been a fan of the series for nearly a quarter of a century, means there’s a Big Freaking Problem somewhere. If you’re not keeping the attention of your die-hard fans, how do you hope to build a fanbase of players new to the franchise?

Given the pacing and story issues inherent in this game, I’m not convinced that the following game(s) in the franchise are going to be structured any better. Considering the amount of pure side-quest padding they did in Midgar, I have no idea how they’ll maintain that same tone on something the scale of the World Map portion of the original game, unless they just completely eliminate things like Fort Condor and the submarine and the spaceship side quests. I have a feeling the Gold Saucer is going to be reduced to a Jessie flashback, a Chocobo race (probably to win a key item), and a battle arena run like the coliseum in Wall Market in this game. If they include all the story elements and side characters from the original, this series is going to be a dozen games long.

Still, on the whole this game was enjoyable, and I’m glad I played it. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, but they haven’t completely killed off my interest, so I’ll probably continue with the series whenever the next game comes out. Though I’m not really sure if the higher-priced edition I pre-ordered was worth the extra money, so I may wait and see how the next game is shaping up before deciding which version to get...

But if they don’t give me a really pretty (playable) Vincent Valentine in the next installment, I may riot. I do have priorities.

#final fantasy vii #final fantasy vii: remake #ff7:r #final fantasy 7: remake #ff7 remake #video games #long post #review

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sebthesnipe · 5 years ago

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The Dreamer by Whatwashernameagin an Analysis? (Part 1 cuz it was a lot longer than expected)

All portions:

Chapter 1: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Chapter 2: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4

Okay so first off… I get asked a lot what I can do with a forty-thousand-dollar degree in Literature when the job economy is so crap… Answer: Lay awake at 2AM analyzing your favorite fanfic authors. So, here we are. Before I begin however, I wanted to make a few things clear: First, if you have not read any of @whatwashernameagain’s work I highly recommend you do so. She is very talented. You can find her on archiveofourown here; and The Dreamer Chapter 1 here. Secondly, I realize that most authors don’t look into their work as deeply as the reader does when writing an analysis and that a red door may simply be a red door… but where is the fun in that? And Lastly, there will be spoilers… So… Beware! (Also it is a Sanders Sides fanfic so check out Sanders Sides by Thomas Sanders on youtube as well if you haven’t already)

WARNING: Spoilers under cut!!

I’m not sure how many of you are familiar with the literary theory of Reader Response (its pretty much exactly what it sounds like) but I’ll probably be addressing it throughout this post. In fact here and here great introductions to the literary theory; which can be defined in its most broad sense, as a criticism that “considers readers’ reaction to literature as vital to interpreting the meaning of the text” (Purdue Writing Lab). Not very clear is it? Basically, Reader Response is the concept that readers have just as much say in what the work means as the author does. In other words, “readers do not passively consume the meaning present to them by an objective literary text; rather they actively make the meaning they find in literature” (Purdue Writing Lab). Without the author there is no reader and without the reader there is no author.

That’s probably a lot of mumbo jumbo to take in but I’ve studied so many literary approaches that it is merely a glimpse into the stuff rattling around in my brain when I read any type of work. I don’t tell you any of this to flex or show how smart I am… …. Well… not really anyways lol. I am explaining this now because it will be important later in the post. Now! Onto the really fun stuff!

CHAPTER 1 (Again spoilers!)

Okay, going into the work I knew the premise: Superhero vs. Villain eventually becoming friends and even lovers. I’m totes down! However, Eva (the author (Whatwashernameagain) never ceases to pull in the reader from the first line!

“He’d chosen to call himself the Utilitarianist, the etymology of which was clearly derived from the Latin word ‘utilis’, meaning ‘useful’” (Whatwashernameagain).

First off! The italics are beautiful! They pull attention to the fact that whoever it is that is naming himself (*cough* Logan *cough*) has already shunned the outer world. He doesn’t care what others have to say. He is deciding this for himself. The sheer amount of strength in a single word because she used italics is stunning and I’m certain she doesn’t even realize what she has done.

Moving on to the actual name is another thing entirely. I know that ‘Utilitarianism’ is defined as “the ethical doctrine that virtue is based on utility, and that conduct should be directed toward promoting the greatest happiness of the greatest number of persons” (“Utilitarianism”). So first, this screams Logan, secondly there is a lot to be said for the name choice. While, the hero/villain’s goal is obvious by the name (doing acts that are for the ‘greater good’) there is a lot to be said for personality here. Obviously, it can be taken that whoever chose this name is insecure in a way; only taking value of themselves by how useful they are. The man no doubts feels as if he is only as valuable as the contributions he makes, which is certainly relatable. So, within the first sentence we learn quite a lot about a single individual and are already drawn in… then again, that’s Eva for you.

Within the next paragraph we learn that the he is in fact a ‘villain’ though I like to think of him more as a… misguided vigilante… but Logan is my bea… so… yeah. Once again, we see italics: “They called him a villain” (Whatwashernameagain). It pulls the reader’s attention to the separation the Utilitarianist is making between himself and the outside world. The feeling of loneliness just from the two italicized words is almost suffocating, at least to me (hence Reader-Response theory). Eva always has such a way with capturing emotions so subtly its breath taking. It certainly is one of her biggest strengths. I mean, here we are not even two sentences in and I’m already moved by the isolation of the villain.

Moving on down the line, we see that the Utilitarianist feels he is doing good for the world… sees himself as a hero rather than the villain the world sees him as. Eva also begins to apply descriptors to the not-villain. “Cold and infallible logic” is used to describe his work. Knowing Sanders Sides as I do its obvious that at this point, I have an assumption as to which character the Utilitarian is (and I’ve already read the work once or twice) but this practically cements it. The reason I bring these four little words to your attention however is the simplicity of them and the giant impact they have. Just as the italics spoke volumes so does this small excerpt. The loneliness I mentioned before only grows with these words, becoming an image of shivering, icy fingers reaching out for someone who isn’t there, the only thing keeping him warm is his own logical calculations…. Its… so heartbreaking… Damn it Eva!!! T.T

Within the next paragraph however we’re moving on to a more light-hearted tone as the Utilitarianist calls the world small minded and unable to understand his ‘superior logic’ (Whatwashername). That, in and of itself, gives way to more personality, breathing more life into the previously abstract character and making him more human… though far less humble lol.

I feel as if I really need to move a bit more quickly through this work to keep this post from getting to long but… Eva’s work with emotional subtext is so stunning I can’t help myself. We’ve moved from the first sentence drawing attention to the separation of the Utilitarianist from the public’s view of him, to the lonely cool logic behind his actions and now within the next few sentences were pulled into a whirlwind of frustration and all of it is so seamless. It may seem like something small and inconsequential but there are published best-selling authors that struggle with it regularly and she manages it so flawlessly (and if I had to guess, without even really thinking about it.

The frustration I mention above is visible through the way the Utilitarianist uses descriptors pulling attention to names like ‘whistleblower’, ‘eco-terrorist’, ‘extremist’, and the way he points out more than one, obviously frustrated. He also insults the world once again pointing out their ‘small minds’ and ‘hypocrisy’; the media calling him ‘cruel’. Again, it’s the subtle things that really make a work shine and as usual Eva’s work is almost blinding.

“His enemies were clear to him, chosen not by his own selfish passions or greed, but by pure, beautiful logic” (Whatwashernameagain).

This line…. Oh, this line…. -sighs dreamily at the words-

So, Reader-Response theory can be interpreted in a number of ways but basically what you need to know is that everyone reads things in different ways due to their own life-experiences, interests, backgrounds, opinions, etc. So, this tiny line that most wouldn’t think twice of is one of my absolute favorites. Why? Well… Lets just say that I have four copies of every Sherlock Homes book (Sir Arthur Connan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes) (Leather bound, hard cover, soft cover, and children’s versions). Which means I’m a bit of fan. Why is that important here? Well, Logan’s (the Utilitarian’s) thought here, pulls me straight back to Doyle’s work. It is so Holmes-esc that it makes me all warm inside and brings a smile to my face. Not to mention it is another shift in the emotional tone of the work, pulling the reader from frustration to an almost affection as Logan addresses his work. This provides the character with even more complexity making him more tangible than ever. There is already so much depth to this character in the first half of this chapter than it astounds me… I am never disappointed in the woman’s writing.

As I read about some of Logan’s target, I have to pause because of just how real some of these issues are. “Fast food chains that ate away the natural resources with their disgusting wastefulness, earning money on the back of animals starved of space and clean air. Government funded projects poisoning the water of people dependent on it. Radioactive plants secured so badly the surrounding hospitals were filled to the brim with cancer patients. Presidents who criminalized people for their skin, their sex, their religion or orientation” (Whatwashernameagain). It makes we want to bring attention to New Culturism and New Historicism but that’s a whole different can of worms. For now, I’ll just say that in today political and environmental climate these are some real issues and she knows that. She knows her audience, for sure! I feel as if this could be a real power play, not in any bad way but in the sense that she can pull at the concerns of so many readers at once with Logan addressing these issues, submerging them in support of his unconventional solutions. How else do you make a reader fall in love with a villain but with sympathy and support? Brilliant… just bloody brilliant.

“Public acts of violence threatened to cause a brutalization of the human mind and thus cause more violence due to normalizing it by prolonged exposure” (Whatwashernameagain).

I won’t spend too much time on this but… Holmes-esc… just saying… I love it so much!

“Despite any attempts to paint him as a ruthless monster, the people were his ultimate ally… Ultimately, he believed the world would come to understand his superior philosophy” (Whatwashernameagain).

Okay, lets pause for a moment. We get some conflicting information here (not in a bad way). Up until now Logan has isolated himself from the world but now, we find out that the people work with him. This is conflicting not because it goes against what has been said but simply what the reader has assumed (reader-response theory). When we really consider it, of course there would be support for his tactics. Trump has supporters… I don’t see why but he does… It’s only logical that someone who is actually making change for the better (even if his methods are extreme) would have them too…. Wait… Did I just compare Logan to Trump?! I’m going to go cry in a corner now… T.T No, but seriously Eva is making her readers think and ask questions that they have to fill in the blanks for, themselves. Its fantastic! The truth of the matter is, the best works have the readers read between the lines, fill in the blanks, help mold the story to their own liking, and she does this so Wonderfully I am jealous and awed by it all. As for bringing the world around to his philosophy we as a reader know that’s probably not going to happen but that might not be the point of the sentence. Perhaps, its to bring a small sense of eccentric tendencies in a far less subtle manner to Logan or just determination. I feel that it does both whether intended or not and does it beautifully. It makes it obvious that Logan is still lonely and determined to bring others in on his work while deluding himself that they will. I think most of us have been lonely enough that we went just a little crazy at one point or another… Which makes Logan more relatable.

Unfortunately, I have to go to work; but I will be back with a Part 2 of this. I have a lot more to say so be warned! And yes, I realize there’s going to be a lot of TLDR’s but it’s a good thing I’m writing this more for myself than anyone XP so… until next time…

Purdue Writing Lab. “Reader-Response Criticism // Purdue Writing Lab.” Purdue Writing Lab, https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/writing_in_literature/literary_theory_and_schools_of_criticism/reader_response_criticism.html.

“Utilitarianism.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, https://www.dictionary.com/browse/utilitarianism.

Whatwashernameagain. “The Dreamer - Chapter 1.” Hello Guys Gals And Non Binary Friends, 8 Sept. 2019, https://whatwashernameagain.tumblr.com/post/187581477262/the-dreamer-chapter-1.

#The dreamer #villain!logan #hero!roman #Sanders Sides #logince #logan sanders #roman sanders #logan/roman #analysis #readerresponse #reaction #whatwashernameagain

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angrylizardjacket · 6 years ago

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the in between moments {Ben Hardy/Reader/Roger Taylor}

Summary: A few moments from the reader's pregnancy, and a few moments after.

A/N: 2664 words. (the writing demon holding my eyes open as I try to sleep: just because you closed your laptop doesn't mean you're free from me.) Anyways I wrote this on my phone and now it's 4am. A bit angsty but happy ending.

It turns into a waiting game, and none of you like to talk about it. It's easy, at first, to pretend like the universe is humouring you; the three of you invest in a bigger apartment, something closer to town with another bedroom, not that you all didn't love the little flat you and Ben had been sharing since the start of all this, but it was too cosy for a family, you all decided.

Family; how strange that word sounded as you turned it over in your mind. It was, of course, inevitable for Roger, he's got his real children - but what made them any more real than yours? - not that it matters to your version of him, at this point in time he's just as in the dark as you and Ben are. For all your sakes you find it easiest to stay out of the spotlight. The moment you start showing, you quit your job; your current co-workers were well aware of your romantic entanglements, more than once Roger's latest Instagram post had been the subject of on set gossip, the type that always went quiet and giggly the moment you entered the vicinity making it so clear they'd just been talking about you. They didn't need to know about this. Ben promises to help you get your job back if you want it after the baby's born, and you say you'll consider it, but for now you enjoy the relative peace.

Ben takes Roger to red carpet events and when the press speculate about the state of your relationship, Roger actually manages to hold in his fury, though there's a few photos with him in the background with his hand clenched so tightly it's painful and white knuckled.

When he flops beside you on the sofa, forgoing the after party for the awards show, still riled up from the comment, part of him needs some small reassurance from you. Ben's still at the party, getting drunk with his costars and messaging that he loves you both and that he hopes Rog got home safe. Roger, for his part, is sulking beside you, still mostly in his suit with his bowtie undone, the whole look doing very Unholy things to you in your hormonal state. It takes him a bit to actually admit what's wrong, he's champagne tipsy from the event and he's distracted by the YouTube documentary you'd been playing in the background, but then your lips are pressed to his jaw, softly asking what's wrong as you're unbuttoning his shirt and he's filled with conflicting emotions.

There's no hesitation in him as he lays you back against the plush sofa, but there is hesitation when he comes to rest his hand on the gentle swell of your stomach, your old, ratty singlet riding up to expose a sliver of your skin. He doesn't say it, doesn't know how, the anxiety the reporter had brought out in his leading to a great that somehow held his vocal cords hostage. Despite this, you know what he needs to hear.

"I love you, Rog," and your voice, like your hand where it comes to rest on his, is gentle, "and you clean up real nice." With a smirk, your gaze drifts down his well tailored but vaguely disheveled suit ensemble, and you actually bite your lip. He wants to make a wise crack about your outfit of choice, a singlet that was practically falling apart and a pair of cotton pyjamas shorts that you used to complain about being too big for you, but seeing you here, like this, with his hand on your pregnant belly, he thinks you look absolutely stunning.

When he kisses you, you're grinning. Ben gets some very interesting and very lewd pictures that night, though you're both asleep and rather fucked out by the time he gets home, he knows you both well enough to see the images as a promise rather than just mere teasing.

Both of them come to your doctor's appointment when they can; the only had experience the three of you have, though you're not even sure if the boys even notice, is when the ultrasound technician starts giving you these weirdly judgey looks when she realises that you don't technically know who the father is.

"He's got your melon alright," Roger grins, leaning forward as he looks between the screen and Ben, eyes shining with amusement. Ben snorts.

"You're blind, babe, and so's that kid if those eyes keeping looking so much like yours," with a smirk he turns to the politely confused nurse, "do they all look like aliens at this stage or is that just Rog's genes?" And his gaze slid to where you were struggling not to laugh at their antics, his own smile endeared at the sight of your joy.

"No, that's all you and your fat head, if anyone's got alien genes it's you," Roger shoved at his shoulders before wrapping his arm around a now laughing Ben. "Maybe it's Y/N."

"I mean the kid's definitely got her nose." It's the quickest and first thing they've agreed on about the baby since seeing the ultrasound. After your laughter has died down, you see the technician's expression. The boys don't notice, well maybe they think she's a little catty when she says the alien look is pretty universal at this stage, that genetics tend not to play a factor just yet, but the way she's regarding you makes you feel so small and a bit shameful. Which is fucked, you contemplate upon leaving, you've worked hard to earn a comfortable life with the men you love, and no bitchass sonographer is going to make you feel bad for that.

When you tell the boys back at home, they're quick to agree, to physically remind you of the love that you've earned.

The nickname for the baby is technically Joe's fault, he calls the baby Billie, since Ben almost exclusively referred to it as 'The Kid'. Ben picks it up first, starts saying Billie the Kid, before you all just start shortening the joke to Billie.

Before they're even born, the kid has a number of nicknames, your favourites being Billie Goat, Billiam, and Bandit, though that last ones only for when they're kicking hard or leaning directly on your bladder. It takes until you're all arguing about whether or not to put the kid's name on the door for you all to finally talk about actually naming them. All of you have suggestions, of course, ideas for names that somehow just don't fit right. You bring up the idea of waiting to actually see the baby to get a feel for the name, but it still doesn't feel right.

"What if we just name them Billie?" Ben breaks the silence, and Roger is quick to him with agreement. You'd been calling the baby they for so long in your mind that at this point everything else felt unnatural.

"What if they want to become a lawyer or something equally dreadful?" Roger asks, and you can't help but laugh at that.

"Well then we give them a fancier name on paper, but they'll be our Billie." You assure, voice dropping to a coo as you rest a hand on your rather large baby bump, as if assuring your unborn child.

Last names are a whole other argument.

Briellen Taylor-Jones was born three weeks premature, and with hey umbilical cord around her neck, and so you'd had enough time to concede on the last name debate, but not enough time to pick a middle name amid your panic. The first time you really get to hold her is a few days after she's born; she's been in an incubator and you've mostly been also, but in your arms she's smaller than a loaf of bed, and sleeping soundly.

"This-" when the nurse had first passed her to you, both boys had been there, looking so proud it almost hurt. You couldn't stop smiling, overwhelmed with joy, tears in your eyes, "this is our little Bandit, huh?" You ask softly, shifting as best you can to make room for both Ben and Roger on the little hospital bed. "Billie the Kid- our kid." You correct, and hold her close to your chest as tears of joy and exhaustion and of overwhelming cathartic release of the past eight months finally escape you. Both of your men wrap their arms around you, Roger's head on your side and Ben pressing a kiss to your temple. With contentment in your heart, you think that Freddie said it best; no motherfucker in the universe is going to upset it.

But it's still a waiting game until you forget what you're waiting for, and that's when the universe takes back what it did give so freely. This is all you can think when days later, a week after Billie's been born, Roger's gone.

You weep at the irony, but mostly because his absence hurt so fucking much.

He goes back to the mid-Seventies and is blissfully unaware; Queen are blowing up, he tours and he fucks around and he sees John's baby for the first time and his heart fucking aches for reasons he's not quite sure of.

In the present, you and Ben... well it's hard. A few weeks after Roger leaves and you find yourself in a doctor's office being told you have post partum depression. Ben still works a lot, not because he wants to, he'd much rather be helping you with Billie, but he's still under contract.

And then there's Billie.

Nothing, not your hormone imbalance brain, not the disappearance of one of your partner's, not even the fact that you have to spend time without her whenever you even just have to run to the shops, leaving her with Ben; none of that could stop you and Ben from loving her more. She's got Ben's smile, and your nose, but somehow, apart from the colour which is all yours, she's got Roger's eyes, you'd both know them anywhere.

Billie Meddows Taylor-Jones is treated like a princess, and counselling really helps you, and Ben takes time off, and it's jarring to realise, just shy of her first birthday, that at this point you're just a happy family. It hurts, at first, Roger's still meant to be here, meant to be part of this, and you know when he comes back - because he will, he has to - he'll fit right in where he belongs with you and Ben. And then it hurts less and less, because his return is inevitable and Ben love you, and you both still love Roger, and you know that he's going to love and adore Billie when he meets her.

When Roger wakes in the future in the park next, and it's always some grubby, urban park that's littered with cigarette butts, he lets himself get his bearings before his whole world comes crashing down around him. He doesn't know the year, is too afraid to check, just sprints to where he hopes you still live; the flat you had bought together.

Your names are on the list of buzzers, and he presses it and waits with baited breath. When your voice crackles over the speakers, tentatively asking who it is, all he needs to say is two words.

"I'm back."

He's not sure what he's expecting on the eighth floor, but when he knocks, he hears footsteps and then hesitation. You open the door slowly, hesitantly, and he hates the expression that you wear whenever he comes back, like you can't quite believe he's real. But then his gaze slips to the toddler in your arms and oh fuck he's been gone for so long.

"Ben's at the shops." Is the first thing you say and he wants to kiss you so bad, but he's absolutely frozen, just gazing in the awe at the little girl frowning with intensity up at him. "Hey Bandit, do you recognise him?" You asked gently, voice light though you're already sniffling with tears. The girl - Bandit, Billie, his Billie - reaches up like she's holding something, wiggling her thumbs, and you laugh softly, "that's right, he is from mummy's phone, do you know who he is?" You asked fondly, and Roger's heart is in his throat as the little girl's whole face lights up as she looks to you for confirmation.

"Daddy!"

It takes all of Roger's self control not to swear in front of- in front of his daughter. It's as if you can see him repress the urge and you look both thankful and amused.

"That's right, that's your daddy." You say gently, and immediately the little girl reaches out insistently for Roger, frowning and frustrated when he just looks back at her, beaming with tears in his eyes. When she makes an angry noise you finally chuckle, gesturing him forward, and he complies. Grinning, quietly laughing, he obliges the demanding little girl when she reaches for his face. Far more pleased, she pats his head with determination.

"Luh-vu much!" She says brightly, before kissing his forehead. Roger just looks up at you, eyes wide and adoring and confused. Billie looks very pleased with herself.

You invite Roger in, and Billie scampers back to where she's got a tea party set up, and you and Roger curl up on the sofa to watch as she builds a whole universe in her mind. It feels like nothing's changed. When he asks quietly about what had happened at the door, you pull your phone from your pocket and he drapes an arm around you, pulling you close to better see the screen. When it lights up, your lock screen shows a photo of you Ben and Roger from a few years ago.

"Billie likes to ask about who people are, especially in photos, and we have lots of you around because of course," Roger presses a kiss to your temple at that, you let yourself sink into his embrace, just a little more, "and so whenever she asked about you, we'd always," you choked up a little at the memory, looking at Billie rather than Roger, "we'd always tell her that that was her daddy, and that he loved her very much, and then she'd get a kiss on the forehead." You laughed gently, and Roger swore gently under his breath, unable to help himself, unable to react in any other way.

"My kid, my daughter." He half laughed, Billie was almost the spitting image of you, and he already adored her.

When Ben gets home, Roger practically bolts at him once Ben's put down the groceries. Ben actually spins him, kisses him so passionately when he puts Roger back down that it might have made you blush if they weren't also both yours, though the moment is broken by the patter of Billie's eager footsteps as she joins the men, hitting at Ben's thigh.

"Spin!" She cries, and Ben steps back from Roger, elated to oblige his little girl. Roger's heart aches at the sight of Ben's smile, knowing just how much he's missed, but then Billie's reaching out for him, asking him to spin her too, so young and bright and she loves and trusts him already because both you and Ben had made sure he'd fit right back in to your family.

"Hey Bandit, guess what." He grinned once he'd stopped spinning her, and she gave him a bright, curious look. "I love you very much," he announced brightly, before pressing an obnoxiously loud kiss to her forehead, and she was giggling loudly, a sound fondly reminiscent of you, before she repeated the gesture back to him. He looks over to where Ben's joined you, both standing by the couch, both looking a little like you can't believe your eyes, but it's good this time. None of you can stop smiling.

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glassbangtan · 7 years ago

Text

Forget-Me-Not {Min Yoongi}

Words: 5564

Notes: This was inspired mildly by Jimin's song, but not really. But kind of. I'll probably end up writing one entirely dedicated to Jimin's song with Jimin, but until then, here's the fake version with Yoongi.

Summary: You and Yoongi are in a private relationship. So private, that Yoongi has to deny it. What happens when you can't take the denying of such strong feelings any more?

Warning: Fluff + Angst.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader.

That's Jung Hoseok's girlfriend.

That's Park Jimin's girlfriend.

They got praise.

That was all you ever noticed when you were out with them. Fans would stop them, ask for pictures, ask about Jimin and Hoseok and have a real conversation with them about love lives they quite honestly didn't feel like talking about.

You watched it happen on an almost daily basis. As you paraded around Bangtan Sonyeondan with a camera in your hand, stopping each boy for individual interviews every now and then, you heard it all. You heard them complain, heard them laugh, heard them get angry, heard them get overjoyed at the simplest of things. It was Jin with his food, Jimin whenever Jungkook did something even slightly wrong, Jungkook with Overwatch.

It was them with their girlfriends. Laughing, enjoying their time together that was so limited yet always so treasured.

Not many people believed you when you told them you were Min Yoongi's girlfriend. But why would they? You rarely ever spoke about it. People asked you who you were and you always replied with your name – never your relationship status.

But then there was the odd time when people would ask you why you were with Yoongi all the time. Why Yoongi looked at you like you were sun. Why you were so special to him, but the truth never filtered through their brain. Why would it? You weren't an idol – Yoongi wasn't even allowed to publicly talk about your relationship without getting a slap on the wrist from his management.

You had liked it for the first few months. The privacy. The intimacy that the odd moment between you and Yoongi would be, because they were so rare. You two weren't allowed to be seen giving affection when there were cameras around, though that barely ever bothered you due to you being one of the staff who were forced to haul the cameras around.

But then it got more serious.

When asked who was single, Yoongi would always raise his hand. When asked why, he would just say, “I'm not really looking for anybody right now,” and it was the way he said it that pulled at your heart strings. The way he said it so casually and with so much truth behind every word made you want to curl up in a ball and cry.

And then it got worse. Date nights were cancelled. He would barely look at you if there were cameras in the room. You weren't allowed to film him – it was only ever the other camera staff who got to interview your boyfriend, and it hurt. It hurt and it pained you to see him put up with it so casually and easily, but it wasn't your place to say.

That was your excuse. This was Yoongi's life, Yoongi's career. You didn't see an area where your opinion was needed, or where your feelings could be taken into consideration at all.

So you let the topic drop. You didn't bring it up – you showed up to work with him every morning, let him go off to hair and make up or to greet the members, and you went to work with your camera, hoping to distract yourself. Like Yoongi with music, filmography had always been your outlet. Setting up the perfect shots and backgrounds for the number of interviews you were doing was always something that cleared your mind.

Today was no different. Yoongi had merely grazed his lips against your cheek before he was waving goodbye to go and get his hair and make up done for the interview line-up he had today – one of which, you were in charge of.

It didn't take long for you to walk into the production room, being greeted by your usual array of 'good mornings' and 'hellos' coming from every corner of the room. Eunji, the beloved girlfriend of Park Jimin, stood up and gave you one of her usual pecks on the cheek, before the two of you were stowing off to fix up your camera equipment.

“I saw you and Yoongi walking in this morning,” she commented when there was nothing else to talk about. You were unsure what it was with people and they're conversation starters, but it was always relationship speak that filled in a silence.

You shot her a glance over your shoulder as you dragged your camera from your bag. “As we do every morning.”

“Yes,” Eunji agreed. “But there was something about this morning that made me feel a little – I dunno.”

“Made you feel like you had to bring it up,” you suggested. Eunji frowned, your lack of filter leaving her unimpressed.

You sighed and shook your head as you kicked open your tripod, setting it up around the lights which you would soonn have to detangle in order to make the set look nice enough for the boys of Bangtan Sonyeondan.

“At least they're letting you film him today,” Eunji offered. “It's a step in the right direction. Soon, you two will be able to basically have sex in the middle of the town.”

You rolled your eyes. “I don't care about going public, Eunji. Remember when you and Jimin did it and those people added you to that group chat? Yeah. I don't want that.” You hollowed out your cheeks, silently praying that the conversation wouldn’t go on any longer than it had to. “I'm perfectly fine being the lonely, forgotten housewife.”

“You're not a housewife. You're smoking hot, and you need to be appreciated.”

“You and Heejin get enough appreciation that it basically melts onto me. You don't need to worry. My lack of attention doesn't hurt me.”

And it didn't. You didn't need the public eye to be on you for you to feel welcomed in a relationship – neither did Eunji or Heejin, but the two of them were just lucky enough to have it as an added bonus. They had started going out with Hoseok and Jimin long before BigHit got strict about relationships. They were already public, meaning nobody could take that back and BigHit didn't really care enough to make the effort.

It still hurt talking about it, though. Eunji and Heejin were both on the hair and make up team, meaning they were close to their boyfriends almost the entire day. You were tucked away behind a camera, not even allowed to give your boyfriend a second look.

You often thought you were overexaggerating, and the thoughts didn't die down as you prepared the set for the boys to finally enter and get ready for the interview you were due to film. You weren't speaking – god forbid somebody saw you conversing with Yoongi – but you were in charge of angles, making sure the boys looked good on camera through the entire interview. It was difficult working with somebody like Taehyung, who insisted on making ugly faces every three seconds in his attempts to make your job that little bit more difficult.

Eunji watched you closely, letting the subject of you and Yoongi drop. You were thankful for it – you weren't sure how long you could hold the rant off for, because there had been plenty of times where you had gone off and just started yelling about your troubles, how lonely you felt. That was one of the reasons you and Eunji were so close – you told her everything, whether she wanted you to or not.

An hour or so must have passed before the boys were finally entering into the room, greeting the interviewer in their usual kind manners. Hoseok came in yelling about how Jin had dropped a bag of powder that Heejin had to clean up and Jin followed after him, beetroot red even under the make up Heejin had just applied to his face. You shook your head at them, folding your arms as you leaned against the wall in the corner.

Always in the corner. Out of sight, out of risk of looking at Yoongi in that way you weren't supposed to.

“So loud,” you heard the familiar voice of Yoongi grunt from the door. Your eyes broke off to look at him, intaking his attractive looks in the quick way you had trained yourself to do so. One glance and you knew exactly what he was wearing, exactly what his make up was like, and exactly how much you wanted to pounce on him.

He wasn't exactly dressed up. This was a casual interview, after all. The interviewer, Jaehyun, was only dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, meaning Yoongi had matched up with the casual attire with a simple white jumper from Puma, jeans and his Puma trainers which had been kindly given to him as part of the ad campaign.

He still pulled it all off though. The way his black hair was styled to cover his forehead, the way his blue contact lenses made his eyes pop with the way the lights shone off of them. The way he smiled that gummy smile whilst messing with his microphone pack. The way he just radiated Yoongi in a way that reminded you why you had fallen for him in the first place.

You inhaled sharply, half tempted to let somebody else do the directing for you. You weren't sure how long you could last being in the same room with Yoongi as he lied about having a relationship.

But you couldn't just walk out. Not without looking weak. Not without the risk of your job being lost because you 'couldn't handle the simple rules.' So you stayed, grinning as the boys took their seats in the order they had always sat in.

You kept your eyes off of Yoongi. He sat on the arm of the white sofa you had set up, the maknae sat beside him, cracking his usual jokes which had everybody laughing. You looked at them through the view finder of the camera, stifling your laughs with your hands.

The interview began all too soon for your liking. You felt the stress building up in your body as Jaehyun sat down and rattled off his questions one by one. You got to work, losing yourself in the camera angles and the way you zoomed in on their faces every one in a while, getting those shots which fans would screenshot and post with heart warming captions which always seemed to make smiles appear on your face.

The boys answered each question naturally, sounding like they had met Jaehyun years before the current interview. The way they passed jokes, the way Hobi sometimes hopped up to show us a random dance move, the way Taehyung did his own thing in the back ground – all of it is just Bangtan. It made you grin, chuckling quietly behind the face mask you were wearing.

But then talk of love life came up, just like it always did.

“So, enough games,” Jaehyun said, still calming down from the burst of laughter he had released after one of Jin's dad jokes. “Let's talk about love lives. I know some of you currently have girlfriends, and have had girlfriends for quite a while. Tell me, for them boys, is it difficult working your schedule around the intimate times? Like, can you two go for a date and just enjoy yourselves?”

Hoseok answered first, Heejin standing beside you with a small smile and a blush adorning her features. You gave her a comforting smile when her eyes met yours, though her gaze instantly dulled when she saw who she was standing next to. The Forbidden Girlfriend.

“I think it's only difficult if you let it become difficult,” Hoseok said. “I've been with my girlfriend for nearly two years now, and we've never really had issues with schedule's and stuff. She's a busy girl, just as much as I'm a busy man, but we always find time to wind down together and just ask about each other's day and how it all went. It's easy if you love them enough.”

Oh, God, no.

Jimin nodded along to Hoseok's reply. “I wish I could add something more, but that's really it. I don't want to go a day without talking to my girlfriend, so I don't. People tend to think we're, like, cramped in this bubble all the time, but it's really not true. We work hard to create the stuff we do, but we still have lives outside of the cameras and outside of Bangtan that we enjoy just as much as anything else. As Hoseok said, you'll make time for them if you love them enough.”

You weren’t sure if you wanted to cry or not. You had never once heard Jimin and Hoseok talk openly about love in the way they just had, and by the looks on everybodies faces, neither has anybody else. It made you feel wobbly, like you could throw up then and there. You avoided looking at Yoongi, pulling your face mask further up your cheeks as if doing so will hide your embarrassment, will hide the way your eyes were darting around the room, looking for any place bar the camera.

Any place bar his face.

Heejin reached a hand out, placed it lightly on your shoulder as Jimin continued to talk about love and dating and his love life like it was the air he breathed or the music he created. He talked about it so naturally, so easily, whilst Yoongi sat at the side of him, pretending you didn’t exist.

“I need fresh air,” you whispered. Heejin looked at you, raiseed one of her brows.

“You can't just leave. Nobody else knows how to get the camera angles like you do. Can you not just wait a minute?”

You bit your lip, turning back to the camera. “Fine.” You didn’t want to be there. It hurt. It was clenching against your chest like a weight, your cheeks flushing a bright red colour, because you knew Yoongi felt it to. He felt the weight of the words weighing down on him, too. He was just better at hiding it.

Jimin finisheed his speech about love, proudly sitting back and giving Eunji a sly smirk which you refused to catch on camera.

“That was sweet,” Jaehyun said, grinning. “And to the single boys; does your busy schedule ever do anything to your love life? Do you find it more difficult to find genuine girls now that you're massive, award winning stars?”

Namjoon replied first. “I mean, I think you can just kind of tell when somebody wants you for your money over your personality, you know? Being in this line of work, it definitely strengthens your senses to that side of things.”

Jin, Jungkook and Taehyung all agreed, giving their own little proposals of speech. And Yoongi stayed silent, because for once, you were in the room to hear all about it. You were standing right in front of him and he could barely look at you because he knew you wouldn’t have that happy smile that always adorned your face. You would be frowning, trying to hold back tears and pretending to be happy when he could see right through every fake emotion you had been putting on the entire interview.

Jaehyun nodded to the boys responses, before turning to Yoongi. “Yoongi-ssi? Any thoughts?”

Heejin squeezed your hand. “I think you can go and get that fresh air you-”

You shood your head, pulling your hand out of her grip and folding it over your chest. You stood up straight, focusing your gaze on Yoongi as much as you can, but he barely budged. It's the boys who looked at you with uncomfortable and sorry glances, whilst Yoongi simply shrugged to the question.

“It's as Namjoon said – I think it's simple to know what somebody wants from you when you meet them.”

“And what about your schedule? Does it give you less time to go looking for that other person?”

“I'm not really looking. I'm just not interested in dating at the moment.”

That was it. That was always the kicker, but the other times, you had at least been absent from the room before you had heard it. Now, you were looking him in the face as he completely dismissed the seven month long relationship you two had been in, and it hurt. It hurt more than you'd ever admit, hurt more than you'd ever believe, because god do you just want him to love you.

Those three words had never even passed between you two before. It was swift kisses, smiles, asking if you'd eaten or if you were okay – at least, it used to be. Now, it was just smiling to each other when you got home, having a laugh at breakfast before completely ignoring each other for the rest of the day.

Ignoring him was better than hearing him say those words, though, and the tears were building up in your throat before you could tell yourself that he's just protecting his job, doing what he does best.

You turned to Heejin, shake your head and walk out before anybody can see you cry. You tried to play it off as a bathroom break, but nobody would believe that. Not when you were the director of todays interview. It had taken weeks for you to finally persuade them to let you do this very job, and now you were just walking out like it was nothing more than your daily routine.

But everything hurt, and you couldn't take it any more. Something was swelling in your chest – something had been swelling in your chest for over three months now, and it was becoming more and more difficult to ignore it, let alone deal with it in the way everybody expected you to.

You stormed through hallways, ignoring staff members worried calls for you to slow down or you'll trip over something. You hopped over wires, trampled over cables and pictures and cameras. You just needed to be alone.

You crashed through the back doors of the studio, a gasp of air escaping your lips as you finally let yourself go. Crying over a boy in the back alley of a studio had never been something you wanted to do, but here you were – completely destroyed over a man who you weren't even sure loved you or not. He hadn't said anything – in fact, he seemed to be doing everything in his power to make you think he hated you.

And that wasn't what you wanted. It wasn't a relationship. It was toxic, and as you pulled your knees into your chest, ready to completely let go, you couldn’t help but realise that very fact. You had played right into the hands of the man you thought you would spend the rest of your life with. He had played with your heart, let you think he cared, but if he truly cared, he wouldn't have let you go so easily.

Right?

“If you love them enough...”

You would do anything for the person you loved, right? Maybe that very fact answered your question.

You slid down the wall of the studio, tears falling from your eyes as you bundled your hands in your jeans, tugging at the fabric. Anything to distract your mind from what was happening inside. Anything to let you get engulfed in your own world all over again – alone. With nobody to mess with your feelings, nobody to break your heart or make you feel like any less than what you were.

“Y/N-ah!”

You closed your eyes, leaning your head against the wall as the door to the back alley opened, revealing a flustered looking Min Yoongi. You hated yourself for a moment, your heart doing it's usual skipping a beat whenever you lay eyes on him. He didn’t look like his usual, monotone self. He looked flustered, red faced with his large hands bundled in front of him as his face slowly moulds into nerves upon seeing you curled up in a ball outside of the studio.

He knew what he had done.

You shook your head and looked away. “Please go back in there and do your job.”

Yoongi closed the door. “What are you doing out here? It's freezing.”

“I'm warm enough.”

“No, you're not. You left your jacket in there.” You didn’t get a chance to reply before he threw your dark red jacket onto your knees, he himself still hovering over you with his hands folded over his chest.

“Thanks,” you muttered, plucking the jacket off of your knees and setting it beside you. “You can go back in now. I'm not gonna freeze.”

Yoongi peaked an eyebrow, though he knew why you were acting like this. He knew why you were crying.

You heard him sigh before he sets himself down beside you, pulling his own knees into his chest. “I'd rather stay here, to be honest. Beside you.”

“What if somebody sees you?” Your voice drew out, clearly meant to tease him, though not in a good way.

“Then they see us,” he replied, so casually it makes you half-angry. “I prefer being with you, anyway.”

“You fooled me.”

“I wasn't hiding it.”

You narrowed your eyes, more tears slipping from them. You didn’t know how you were keeping yourself so calm with him so close to you, with his shoulder pressed against yours and his body heat moulding with your cold skin.

“I'm just not very good at showing affection,” Yoongi continued, looking out at the rubbish bins in front of the two of you. “I thought you knew that.”

“I'm not asking for you to get down on one knee and propose, Yoongi,” you sighed. “I'm just – I dunno. I'm not looking for anything, really. I know it's not your fault our relationship is like this, but it just hurts.”

“What hurts?”

“Hearing the other guys talk about how they'd do anything for the person they love, no matter how hard it is to do that certain thing. Yoongi, you can't even look at me in public without getting in trouble. How – How can you just expect me to feel comfortable with that?”

Yoongi took a moment to reply, his mouth open slightly in that pout that used to playfully press kisses to every part of your body when you were upset. Those were the early days, though – days when you two could leave the house together and not be scolded for being 'irresponsible.'

“I didn't – Jesus. I didn't know you felt that way.”

You closed your eyes, finally ducking your head into your hands as the words fell from his mouth. “I didn't make it obvious?”

“You never look at me either, jagiya,” he insisted, and his voice became persistent, as if needing you to listen. “You went along with the rules, too, so I just thought it was all going to be okay. I thought you didn't mind.”

“Do you not mind?” you exclaimed, shooting your head up to look at him. So perfect, yet he looked so broken in this moment. His cheeks tinted red with the cold, his contacted eyes wide and his mouth hanging open a little bit.

“Of course I minded. You know I minded.”

“Do I know? Because for the past four months, I've genuinely thought you were just going to drop me one of these days. It would make the most sense, since we barely fucking talk any more! You look people dead in the eye and say you're single! Do you know how that feels?”

“I wasn't thinking. I thought we were strong enough to get through this.”

“This?” you barked, throwing yourself forward so you were standing above him. Tears were pouring down your face, heating your cheeks up as your hysterics began to heave at your chest, making soft sobs escape your mouth through the violent words leaving alongside them. “This isn't a relationship, Yoongi. This – This is toxic. It's hurting me, and I hope I mean enough to you that it hurts you, too.”

Yoongi nodded swiftly, standing up alongside you. “This speech doesn't sound good, Y/N-ah. What are you-”

You shook your head, shoving his outstretched hands away from you. “I don't want to lose you, Yoongi. I really, really don't, but being with you is making me lose myself. Making me lose my mind and I need to put myself first sometimes. I don't want to be in a relationship with somebody who isn't even allowed to leave the house with me.”

Yoongi blanked, looking down at you like you had just slapped him in the face. The look he gives you breaks your heart in so many ways, but you couldn’t back out of it now. You couldn’t just say “Actually, you're cute. Never mind,” because you knew your reasons for doing it, and if he cared about you, he would know them too. You weren't doing this to smite him – it was for yourself, and sometimes, that was the only reason a person needed.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it soon after. You watched him as his eyes filled with subtle tears, his lip going between his teeth where he nibbled on the skin, clearly trying to fight off any sign of emotion.

“Ah, really” he whispered, ducking his head down and brushing his hand over the back of it. “I fucked up so badly. I didn't – I should have told them to go to hell with their policies, shouldn't I?”

“It's not your fault. I don't want this hurting your career.”

“It's not hurting my career.” His voice broke when he looked up at you, his eyes meeting yours for the longest time they had met since the policies were given to the two of you. “It's hurting my life. It's hurting you. It's hurting-” He inhaled, cold air filling his mouth before it came out in a cloud of fog. “It's hurting the girl I love and I can't let it happen any longer, okay?”

You went to reply, a heartfelt comment about how you two can still be friends playing on the end of your tongue, but it disappears amongst his word choice.

You nearly choked on the freezing cold air of winter as you realise what he had said. For the first time in seven months, he had used the word 'love' when speaking about you. For the first time in seven months, he was looking at you like you were his world, and it was making you warm up from both shock and happiness.

“What did you just say?” you questioned, unable to stop the words. Yoongi looked back at you, a look of dead seriousness on his face that makes your small smile drop, going back into the frown you had placed it in when you had run out here in the first place.

“Christ, you make me insane,” he grumbled. “I love you, okay? You. Y/L Y/N. Light of my life. My world. My girlfriend. Hell, I'll scream it from the god damn rooftops if that's what you want.”

Your eyes widened, but Yoongi didn’t stop. He stepped away from you, arms open wide as he looked up at the sky and started yelling: “Everyone! Y/L Y/N is my girlfriend, and I am the luckiest man alive!”

You yelped, diving for his arm and pulling him back to look at you, your eyes wide in shock. “Yoongi, sh! Bang PD's in there and he'll-”

“You're still worried about him?” Yoongi questioned. “I just confessed my undying love to you, and you're worried about PD-nim?”

“He's going to fire you.”

“He can.” Your jaw dropped. Yoongi simply smiled, gums and teeth and that cute little dimple in his chin showing all at once and it made your knees feel weak and your mind go foggy. “Jimin and Hoseok said it during the interview – if you love someone, you'll do anything to make time for them. If that means quitting-”

“Don't scare me like that,” you hissed, hitting his shoulder. Yoongi furrowed his brows. “You will not give up your dreams for me, Min Yoongi. I won't let you.”

“Then let me have one more chance.” You blanked, looking at him in shock all over again. He stepped closer to you, and you allowed him to take your hand in his, holding them close to his chest as he gently rubbed the backs of your palms, heating them up. “One more chance. I'll tell the world about us. I'll – I'll take you on a date. Tonight. Fuck what the company says. You need spoiled, because I have a lot to catch up on. And you can come to the studio, and you can film those stupid video diaries you film that I'm never in because they would look too cosy.”

He smiled down at you.

“I remember I used to watch you and Namjoon when you two would do that game where you catch the food in your mouth, and you'd film it for your video diaries. I would have killed to be the one doing that with you – absolutely killed, but I was too worried for your reputation and my own career to do it. So I just let you and Namjoon get on with it. I want to be in one, though. A romantic one. One that's cute and I'll kiss you on the cheek and hold you from behind and you can post that. If you really want people to know about us, you'll post it.”

You looked up at him, your heart hammering against your ribcage. You didn’t know what to say. Your mouth had run dry, the only thing you could hear being the thumping of your heart in your chest and Yoongi's skin rubbing against yours as he heats up your hands between his own.

“You have a camera in your bag, right?”

He let your hands fall, and before you could object, he's reached into your over-the-shoulder bag and has ripped your mini camera out of it's case, fumbling with it for a quick overview of the buttons. You coukd barely move, keeping your hands clasped as if it were Yoongi holding them together. There was an odd feeling in the pit of your stomach – nerves? Confusion? Mild guilt? You didn't want Yoongi to think that all you wanted was publicity, because it was very far from that. You would live in perfect harmony if not a single person but Yoongi knew your name – you just wanted Yoongi to be able to communicate with you in the way he used to.

Yoongi let out an 'Aha!' upon finally finding the record button, and he was quick to wrap an arm over your shoulder, holding the mini Canon recorder in the air above the two of you. You blushed, hiding your face with your hands as Yoongi pressed 'record' and started to speak.

“Hello everyone! This is Suga from BTS, and I'm highjacking Y/N's video diary today. I don't know the last time she did one of these, because I'm not in them. Not until now, any way.” He chuckled, looking at you. He frowned upon seeing your flustered state, quickly pulling your hands away from your face. You groaned, closing your eyes, turning around and burying your head in his chest in an attempt to hide your burning face.

Yoongi laughed again, wrapping his free arm around your shoulders. “She's apparently shy in her own video diaries. I think it's just because I'm here and she doesn't quite know what to do with herself. Have we not got something to tell them, Y/N?”

“Yoongi-”

“This woman right here, ladies and gentlemen,” Yoongi interrupted, laughing a little at his own exaggeration. “Is the love of my life, and I haven't told anybody that. Not even her, until just a few minutes ago. But now that I've said it, it kind of feels like I'll never stop saying it, so forgive me if I get repetitive. It's just – I've never really loved anyone. Not in a soulmate kind of way, so for a while I was kind of just scared of what I was feeling. Hence the reason I was a complete asshole and didn't tell you sooner.”

You grunted. Yoongi chuckled.

“She agrees.”

You looked up, rolling your eyes at your boyfriend. “Turn the camera off, you idiot. I forgive you. We'll sort this out.”

Yoongi grinned, bright and fresh faced and it made your heart beat speed up to a speed you were almost certain had put people into cardiac arrest before. “Why should I turn the camera off?”

“So I can kiss you.”

Yoongi shrugged. “I'd rather you do that whilst this is recording. Something to show the children.”

3K notes · View notes

spongebobsins · 6 years ago

Text

Everything Wrong With The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

(Full disclosure: I actually did this before on DA a few years ago, so this is a spruced up version of that post. It’s been updated with my current standards and some new jokes but isn’t totally different. Still, hope you enjoy)

1.Viacom

2.There’s a whole opening scene with pirates, yet Patchy is nowhere to be seen

3.This guy thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to step out of the way of the door before the guy came out.

4.Because this is a SpongeBob movie, I can ignore a lot of stuff here, but there are like 50 pirates here, and only like 6 tickets.

5.These pirates are making a huge rowdy mess…and yet if I was there, it wold still be one my better theater expereinces.

6.Wait, the movie within the movie just starts with no title? There’s s no title in the credits, which is part of the movie within the movie, so what kind of movie has no title in it at all?

7.Also, the screening just starts with no trailers?

8.Why wasn’t the manager here to begin with, if the place was open.

9.They seriously called the cops about the cheese? Can’t someone else just…put cheese on it

9.“Weird sound in dream turns out be normal sound waking them up” cliché.

10.It being a dream forgives a few sins…but it’s still a dream cliche so..

11. Let’s talk about the Krusty Krab 2. How could have a hugely popular restaurant, function for this only with only ONE in existence?

12 Also, at no point do we see them hire extra employees for the other KK, there’s just a new manager, but there’s like 2 employees in this place besides Mr Krabs. …How did a place like this ever function with only two employees, anyway?

13.Spongebob has underwear in this shot, but when his pants…open up, he’s nude.

14.Also, Butt joke.

15.SpongeBob’s teeth should not be in good shape if he only brushes his eyes.

16.Even for SpongeBob, barging in Squid’s shower is…creepy.

17.There’s nothing under this rock so where did Patrick’s pants come from? 18.All this excitement over a place that has never been mentioned before now.

19.Wait, KK 2 is next to the first one? That’s really stupid.

20.”Lord knows I’ve tried” Which lord though? Is relgion a thing under the sea?

21/know Plankton doesn’t always have common sense, but he seriously has never heard of the letter Z?! Or at least he hasn’t seen that file clearly there.

22. Plan Z seems to be Plan Porn, ew.

23.The Chum Bucket isn’t directly across the street like it should be.

24.How he does not hear his screams?

25.Also, the plankton smear vanishes in the next shot.

26.“I paid 9 dollars for this?” ‘I paid ten”. That’s racist.

27.I know SpongeBob is” immature” but Squidward is literately the worst worker ever, so why was he picked? At least SB is a good worker.

28.If you listen really closely, you near hear Mr Krabs whispering jackass. That’s sinful because he said swearing is bad back in Sailor Mouth and got trouble with his Mom over it.

29.Another butt joke. 30.Wait, he doesn’t like people touching the crown yet he hired someone to clean it?

31.Even if this is meant to a different character than the God Neptune, why are we only just now knowing there’s a King of the sea, especially since he’s so close to a place the leads apparently go to a lot?

32.How the hell did no one notice Plankton taking the crown? Mindy is looking in the general direction of it, and while plankton is tiny, they should at least hear it moving or something.

33.There’s no guards outside to possible see the crown flying away.

34/Goofy Goober has a lollipop in this shot, but when that hand thing comes out, it’s gone

35. There’s only one row of chairs in the nut bar here, but when SpongeBob starts to leave, there’s another corner where more chairs are over there. 36.And they’re drunk, in a family film.

37/They didn’t kick them out for getting drunk in front of kids?

38.Wait, if they’re at the KK 2, who is taking care of the first one right now?

39.”You left one DAMNING piece of evidence-” Whoa, Language!

40.We did not see Plankton bring paper with him at all so I must question this.

41.Also, Mr. Krabs could try to find some stuff he wrote to show this isn’t his handwriting. 42.There’s never a phone here but it’s now there for this joke.

43.How can Plankton hear over anything over the phone if Mr Krabs hung up?

44.Mr Krabs’ clothes magically grow back

45.Discount My Leg!

46.Everyone in the Krusty Krab magically appears before that part, and disappears right after. Hell, you can see two fish eating in the background like nothing’s happening!

47.Patrick, out of nowhere!

48.Patrick being horny for Mindy goes nowhere and is a bit creepy.

49.The wheels are made of pickles in this shot, but when they leave, they are real wheels.

50.There’s seriously no one at the Krusty Krab or even outside to see this?

51.Stereotypical hillbillies are Stereotypical, and a bit annoying.

52.”No Patrick they’re laughing next to us” Hey, only I get to be pedantic around here!

53.How did no one see that guy coming?

54.How did she get that footage?

55.I like that the airhorn from the previous scene is sitll here but it was nowhere to be seen before than so..

56.The thug doesn’t recognize Patrick from earlier.

57 No one in the bar is seen with any tools normally used for bubble blowing, and since they somehow don’t know it came from the bathroom, no one in that room should be suspected.

58.They were standing in place the whole time and everything was far away when they beat up the double dude, so how did Patrick get the key?

59.Villain asks who can stop them now and it cuts to the heroes cliché.

60.A monster having an part that looks like a talking old lady makes no sense and you know it, so let’s move on.

61.How did the bubble soap get outside?

62.The stairs to the trench randomly appear and reappear throughout this scene.

63.Patrick has only worn those underpants once in the whole show…and it was in an episode after this movie!

64.Even with that carriage, how did Mindy get here so fast? She has no mermaid magic.

65.“Did you see my underwear?” “No Patrick ‘ “Did you want to?” …Ew.

66. The plankton statue in complete in this shot, but in the next shot it’s under construction.

67.I know Plankton wanted Neptune to fry Mr Krabs, but since he controls everyone, couldn’t he storm the castle and use the bucket on Neptune to get the job done quicker?

68.Hate to get critical, but sometimes these cuts to Dennis ruin the flow of scenes.

69.How does that seaweed stay on?

70.“Why did we jump over the edge instead of taking the stairs?” Spongebob would be great at SpongeBobSins.

71.This song is awesome until you realized they lazily reused some title card music from the show.

…But it’s still awesome, so..

71. ”Even the hideous disgusting monsters!” That’s racist.

72.“That way you’ll never found out that he stole the crown” Dennis is an idiot.

73.Man, what is with this movie and characters appearing without being heard?

74.You know, randomly walking around underwater in a desolate area with barely any fish isn’t really that efficient, given what he’s using them for as we find out in a minute.(Although it clearly worked before so this sin is debatable)

75.Why does he wear his diver’s outfit while on land?

76.“Alexander Clam Bell!” Booooo

77.Okay, so how did Plankton get the crown all the way here anyway?

78.How the heck did they not see that huge crown this whole time?

The entire scene is insanely emotional, especially for SpongeBob. I’m not made of stone so…yeah.

78.The pirates ruins it a tad though.

79.Discount Potty, which makes the lack of Patchy worse. He’s even voiced by Stephen!

80.“Tears bring someone back to life” cliché.

81.Also, these detectors do not work that way.

82..Because a bit of water will bring dead fish back to life, right? It makes sense for the duo but not the ones that have been dead for ages.

83.Poop joke.

84.The Hasselhoff cameo is funny but how many kids even know him, even I 2004?

85,I’m not even gonna ask how Dennis got here with the boot. Still sinning it, of course.

86.Hoff barely feels this epic battle going on, on his back.

87.You’ve got a time limit but sure, 10 seconds to liftoff.

88.They made a big deal out of that lock but now it’s just gone.

89.Karen isn’t there before SB and Pat show up, but now she’s here.

90. Why didn’t he put the bucket on Neptune beforehand? Would have made this a lot easier, makes my previous sin more of an issue.

91.Now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us!

92.This is amazing, one of the best things ever…but it’s also the biggest Deus Ex Machina ever.

93.”No freakin’ way!” The soundtrack version changes this because freakin’ is just too intense for kids I guess.

Eh screw it, sin removed!

93. From the looks of it, the town literally fixed itself in a matter of hours.

94.“I was just tell you that that your fly is down!” …He doesn’t wear pants. 95,Freeze frame ending.

96.The credits feel the need to inform us that Karen is a computer wife.

97. Way too many minutes of credits for the sake of padding the soundtrack. 98.Post credits scene. SpongeBob is my favorite Marvel movie.

MOVIE SIN TALLY: 98

SENTENCE: Beaten senseless (by every able boded patron in the bar)

And after a slight delay, this is finally done. Even though I had to refurbish something I already did, this sitll took some more, to see what new sins to add and what to keep I tried my best to make sure the sins are good here and hopefully only a few are weird/filler.

This is certainly a few easy movie to sin, but is still highly enjoyable. Might do a win post for it someday, we’ll see. But for now, here are the sins of a good representation of the series.

With that out of the way come back in about mid February or a bit later as dive into Season 4 and see how sinful it ends up being. I’m judging all SpongeBob on the same level, so we’ll see how the sins are.

See ya then.

(Dedicated to Stephen Hilenburg)

#SpongeBob #Movie #Sins

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69harurr · 6 years ago

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SNK Band!AU 104th

Here’s a massive headcanon post of a SNK rock(ish) band au! This post contains the all the 104th cadets!

Eren Jaeger

Eren is mainly a vocalist. He is an amazing vocalist but he believes that he still has a long way to go.

He admires the vocalist of the band NO NAME. He is guessing that the vocalist is Levi Ackerman however Levi constantly denies the claim.

Eren also knows how to sing screamo. When he was younger, he would sing screamo with Armin. Eren and Armin stopped singing screamo after their parents got a complaint from the neighbours to tell them to shut up.

Eren knows how to play a couple chords on guitar to keep him going and help him practice when he’s by himself. Mikasa taught Eren the chords even though he was very stubborn and wanted to learn himself. Eren appreciates the help, really.

“Mikasa, I can do learn this chord myself!”

It was Eren’s idea to make the band. He thought that it would be cool to play together with everyone and maybe even become famous. He enjoys playing in a band with everyone.

He gets really hyped on stage and is super passionate when he’s singing.

“I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST! THAT NO ONE EVER WAS!”

Armin Arlert

Armin is a keyboard player. He plays around with synths/organs or a simple piano. He is the type of pianist who likes to experiment with different sounds and styles.

He knows a lot about music. He knows a large variety of music genres and is one of the most knowledgeable about music theory.

Armin is a master at screamo. It’s his stress relief and his little secret.

He’s the person who taught Mikasa piano and helped her out with finding music sheets etc. He’s super glad to have Mikasa as his student. He finds teaching her very self-motivating and at times lifting his confidence. He’s very proud. It motivates him to keep working hard.

There are times where he feels like he isn’t good enough compared to Mikasa’s natural talent. However, he is reassured by Mikasa that he is amazing at what he does and who he is as a musician.

Armin doesn’t really perform on stage. Rather, he is the composer in the background. Eren sometimes drags Armin on the stage.

Mikasa Ackerman

Mikasa is a vocalist and a guitarist with a background in piano.

For Mikasa, she finds that the piano is an all-rounder instrument. She can play nearly everything, no matter the genre or style, she can play it. She enjoys playing the accompanist for others.

Of course, she can play solo piano and she’s amazing. Her hands swiftly slide over the keys and her playing is powerful and dynamic but it can be gentle and nurturing.

Mikasa wanted to start learning piano (because she asian) however she had a hard time finding a tutor.

Armin was the one who taught her piano. Mikasa’s family far from the closest piano tutor so Armin offered to teach her. Mikasa, according to Armin, is a fast learner. She admires Armin’s enthusiasm in teaching her piano and how in each lesson she’ll learn something completely new. They learn together.

After learning piano, she started learning to play guitar for the band. She found it easy to learn guitar thanks to her prior knowledge with piano.

Jean Kirstein

Jean’s main instrument is an electric bass guitar. He loves the low rich sound of the bass and playing the bass is a blast. He loves the sounds the bass makes when he’s slapping and picking. He enjoys playing the bass with a band because he can carry everyone. Without a bass, the entire sound will feel a little empty.

He has also picked up the guitar but he only knows 4 chords. There are two reasons that he picked up the guitar: (1) Sometimes he enjoys singing songs by himself and a bass can’t really play that role. (2) He’s a little sad that he can’t really pick up people using bass skills so he decided to learn a bit of guitar. A lot of things that he hears are “Isn’t the bass just an easier version of the guitar?” or “Why don’t you learn guitar? Isn’t it boring playing bass?”. These comments annoy him. He wishes for people to appreciate bass guitars more.

In the end, he really likes playing the bass.

He is also a songwriter. Armin acts as his editor.

Marco Bodt

Marco happens to work at a music store so he is kind enough to give out discounts to friends. He meets a lot of musicians and creates a lot of connections. Due to this, Reiner likes to trade information.

Since he knows a lot of connections, he helps out other bands.

Marco is a jack of all trades. He’s everything and has a knack for learning things fast. If you need someone to fill in, he’s your man.

He isn’t on stage a lot rather he’s working behind the scenes to make the concert entertaining for everyone. He doesn’t really mind being the one behind the scenes. He really loves seeing everyone having a fun time. It suits him.

However, if he’s ever sick or must be away for whatever reason, he’ll ask Armin to take over for a bit. He trusts Armin a lot and he knows that if someone else managed everyone it would be utter chaos.

He’s acts as a peacemaker when there’s a disagreement in the band with the music and whatnot.

Sasha Braus

Sasha plays the piano.

Mikasa and Sasha are piano buddies. They play duets together.

Mikasa and Sasha are teamed together against Jean and Connie to piss them off. Of course, it was Sasha’s idea to piss them off. Mikasa enjoys Sasha’s company and it willing to play duets. Sasha and Mikasa are a force to be reckoned with. They play Heart and Soul Piano Duet (Hoagy Carmichael) together and it pisses Jean and Connie. The boys just leave the room. It’s too much for them.

Sasha uses her keyboard as a table to put her food and music sheets on. She’s a little messy and tries her best to keep clean. She keeps a cleaning clothe on her to protect her keyboard.

She’s the person who brings snacks during the rehearsal and for the performances.

Sasha learnt the piano self-taught and mostly chords focused person. It was until she met Armin and Mikasa that they helped her out with more technical things.

She knows a lot of pop songs on piano.

Connie Springer

Connie is a drummer. He sometimes comes late to rehearsal. Although he always makes sure to come to performances.

Connie loves playing the drums. He can easily freestyle, and it doesn’t sound horrible.

Sometimes during the performances, Connie would dab at the end of the song. He even dances and twirls his drumsticks.

He is one of the most hyped members in the band on stage. Along with Eren, he’s banging the drums and shouting on the top of his lungs. “I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST! THAT NOONE EVER WAS!”

“JEAN, SLAP THAT GUITAR!” “CONNIE, IT’S A BASS!” “GO, SLAP THAT BASS MY DUDE!” “GOD DAMN IT CONNIE! WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!”

He taps his foot constantly and it annoys everyone.

Connie is a self-taught drummer. He learnt by watching and listening to No Name’s drummer.

When Armin gave him the drums sheet, Connie was super confused. He didn’t understand any of it. So Armin had to explain the part to him and Connie instantly was able to play it.

Reiner Braun

Reiner knows how to play guitar and drums.

Reiner enjoys playing the drums. It’s like a physical work out. Banging on the drums is great Reiner’s stress since it blocks out noise. Drums is an instrument that support everyone. Without a drummer, everyone would be lost and in a mess. Reiner likes that he can be the reliable big brother figure that everyone sees him as.

Reiner is known to smash the drums sometimes so he makes sure that he doesn’t get too carried away. So he makes sure to have an extra snare drum on standby.

He’s very good as acting the role of a producer or in general management roles. He’s the sort of the person who can find talent and help others when they need a temporary player. Reiner knows a lot of people so he’s the guy to go to if you want to find a gig.

Bertolt Hoover

Bertholdt is a bass player for sure. At the club where everyone performs as at he works as the bouncer. Reiner often teases him because he’s personality doesn’t really appear to fit his job description.

He sweats a lot during performances. The hot lights and stage, his nervousness and the warmth of the audience’s cheers make him sweat a lot. So he has to resort to wearing short sleeves or sleeveless shirts. He’s a little shy when he gets on stage because he looks like the complete opposite to who he is. These transformations get him fans trying to look for him backstage but then get really confused because he looks very different.

It took him a little bit of encouragement to take part in the band. It was Reiner’s idea to get him to join a band. He wanted Bert to come out of his shell. Bert appreciates the thought.

Bertholdt is amazing at bass. Actions speak louder than words.

Annie Leonhardt

Annie is a bartender at the bar but Reiner urged her to perform. Reiner says it’s his eye of talent calling for her. At first, she wasn’t really into it however she heard money and agreed.

After doing it for a while, she found herself enjoying it. She won’t admit it though.

Annie works the double jobs because she wants to support her father.

Sometimes when Annie is working as a bartender, she gets some fans and audiences members from the night before congratulating her and complementing her on her performance. She shrugs it off but inside appreciates the complements. These complements keep her going.

She sings vocals. She gave some vocal lessons to Eren. She admires his motivations and enthusiasm.

Annie’s voice is much gentler compared to Eren but very impactful.

When the bar gets a bit rowdy, she’ll just walk up the stage from the bar. She’ll loosen her collar, let down her tie and sing. It makes everyone in the bar shut up and calm down.

Ymir

Ymir is wild. She’s willing to be loud but makes sure that Historia gets the spotlight. She believes that Historia can make it to the big stage.

She plays an electric guitar but sometimes will play with an acoustic. She known for rapid fingering. She’s so good that she has people come up to her to be her student but always rejects them.

She harmonises well with Historia’s voice and when they sing together, they’re a powerful duo.

Ymir is one of the performers who prefer their acts around the end. Although sometimes, she’ll gate crash another performance. It’s mainly Reiner’s group.

Ymir is always affectionate with Historia and watches out for any mean or comfortable comments that the audience could make to her. She’s willing to fight the person and often gets pulled back or threatened to get kicked out. She knows that there is always a possibly or someone extremely dangerous in the crowd.

Historia Reiss/Krista Lenz

Historia originally debuted as Krista Lenz. Krista was known to be a heavenly singer and was one of the purest out of all the acts.

Her heavenly vocals are known to have a soothing and healing effect on listeners. There are some instances where some audience members fall asleep or feel that a weight have been lifted off their shoulders.

Krista then re-debuted again as Historia after being fed up of hiding her true self. After being Historia, she became a solo act. Ymir was no longer there to be by her side.

She is always seen with Ymir. They’re known to be a heavenly duo with amazing voices when sung together.

She is known to be called Goddess amongst many clubs and venues. Due to this nickname, she has been asked multiple record deals however she always turns them down.

As Krista, she wasn’t really interested on heading to the big stage. However, some things changed in her life and she decided to aim for the big stage.

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

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Confessions: Part 3 (Trixya) - Sigyn

A/N: so it’s fully been like two years since I updated this so I imagine everyone’s forgotten it but I’ve started adding to it again so I feel like I might as well keep posting it despite the two year break…

I’ve made some slight edits to the first two parts and published them on AO3 as well so here’s a link to that

full disclosure, the next update is like two weeks away because I have deadlines I need to meet at school (but at least it won’t be two years lmao)

Katya has a confession to make.

There was a time when she was sexually attracted to Trixie Mattel.

Okay. Times, plural.

It wasn’t all the time, though.

Just sometimes.

For example, when Trixie was doing her makeup, ear splitting levels of Dolly Parton blaring in the background, and she’d done everything except her lips and looked demented by anyone’s standards. Katya couldn’t help but be attracted to her then.

Of course, she was also attracted to her when she’d put on the lips and the whole fantasy came together but that was to be expected. Trixie looked other-worldly when her makeup was done. In some ways so done up that she no longer looked human, in others so stripped bare and exposed. More human than Katya ever dared be.

She was also attracted to her when Trixie decided to forgo the coloured contacts she usually wore but that didn’t mean anything, Katya had always been a sucker for brown eyes.

Naturally, she was attracted to her when her face was completely washed clean and she donned a backwards baseball cap with some oversized t-shirt, not an ounce of pink in sight except for the stain around her lips that sometimes stayed for hours after she removed her lipstick. That was a side of Trixie she found particularly attractive, largely because it was how she was most comfortable, and perhaps partly because it was a side of her very few people ever got to see.

Often, she found that spark of attraction when Trixie told a particularly crass joke.

And, fuck, was she attracted to her when the Barbie fantasy was both contrasted and complimented by her tendency to scream her enjoyment, rather than laughing in a manner others might have found more acceptable.

Trixie never did anything by halves and that was perhaps what Katya found most attractive about her.

Pretty much every time Trixie broke the social norms, behaving in a way some would argue did not befit a young woman, Katya found the stirrings of attraction deep in her stomach.

But she wasn’t attracted to her all the time.

Not at all.

For example, she wasn’t attracted to her right now.

Katya is pretty sure she wouldn’t be attracted to anyone who woke her up before eight am on a Saturday.

“I’ve decided what my new year’s resolution is,” Trixie announced cheerfully, without so much as a greeting to give Katya a moment to adjust to the shift from being asleep to being expected to hold a conversation.

“Is it to buy a calendar?” She guessed, voice raspy with sleep, “as it is April and either too late or too soon to be making such resolutions.”

Trixie seemed unconcerned by this as she resolutely stated that “it’s never too late to begin the new year.” Katya decided not to challenge her on that. “And as a wise man once said, new year new me.” She paused as if waiting for Katya to either prompt her further or laugh but Katya didn’t really feel so inclined. She had half a mind to just go back to sleep and let Trixie have this conversation with herself.

Unperturbed by Katya’s lack of a response, Trixie soldiered on. “I’m embarking on a fitness journey,” she declared, as though she expected a deafening round of applause to erupt.

“Okay,” Katya drawled, still not having decided whether she was going to be a part of this conversation, “lets pretend that’s a real thing and that we both know what that means.”

“I’m joining a gym, I’m eating healthy, the whole nine yard, I’m embarking on this journey from today onwards, would you care to join me?”

Katya found herself thinking that if Trixie’s dream as a child had been to become a travelling salesman she was quite certain her sheer enthusiasm alone would have made her a roaring success. However, Katya had always been a hard sell.

“Absolutely not,” she replied, without remorse.

“Okay, well, I’m joining your gym so I wouldn’t be so quick to say no-“

“No,” she firmly interrupted, having already decided that Trixie’s apparent illusion that Katya would go in for any such thing needed to be nipped in the bud.

Trixie shrieked and though the loudness of it made Katya wince, she couldn’t help but smile at the reaction.

“When are you teaching again?” her friend asked instead of giving her the expended sales pitch that Katya was certain she had been gearing up for.

“I don’t know. You can probably find my hours on the gym website, did you have to wake me up for this conversation?”

“Absolutely,” Trixie replied, resolutely. “If you’re allowed to wake me up at 3 am on a weekday to discuss what a terrible place the world would be without laughter then I’m allowed this.”

Katya had no real argument to counteract that point as it really was fair enough. Instead she simply acknowledged Trixie’s good point, well made with a repeat of the thoughts that had come to her in the middle of the night, last week. “God, it would be such a terrible place though.”

“No,” Trixie stopped her, “we’ve had this conversation, now we’re having my conversation.”

Katya made a noncommittal grunt that sounded vaguely affirmative.

“Text me your classes and if I’m not there at least three times a week you have my formal permission to kick my butt.”

Katya snorted and responded, “what if I don’t want to kick your butt?”

“Since when have you ever denied an opportunity to come near my butt? I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of kicking it.”

Another grunt, more concrete in its affirmation this time.

“Okay, go back to sleep, you’re boring me. I’ll be there by noon to make green juices and a salad with you.”

Katya’s face screwed up in disgust at the very thought, “Ew, Tracy, no, you will not. I told you I refuse to be a part of your healthy road trip or whatever you dubbed it.”

“Fitness journey and I can’t hear you, I’m going through a tunnel!”

The line went dead before Katya could respond.

“Fucking bitch,” she muttered to herself, though the smile that always followed a conversation with Trixie was firmly in place.

Doubtful that she’d manage to fall asleep again what with the sunlight already forcing its way through her curtains, Katya seriously considered getting up and making coffee for several long minutes. Her musings only being cut short by her consciousness slowly slipping away as sleep dragged her back under.

When Katya next awoke it was to the simultaneous banging of her door and the ringing of her phone.

She didn’t know what year it was, much less what time but Trixie’s name flashing on her screen, paired with her ringtone, told her that ignoring the ruckus and going back to sleep was not a viable option.

Forcing her limbs into action Katya got up, grabbing her phone and accepting the phone call.

“If you damage my door, you’re buying me a new one,” she simply said in lieu of a proper greeting.

“You’ll have to take me to court over it,” Trixie replied though she did cease her vehement knocking which Katya considered a victory in and of itself.

“See you there,” she said, ending the phone call before opening the door to reveal a version of Trixie she had not yet had the pleasure of meeting.

Straight-from-the-gym Trixie apparently wore a pink velour jumpsuit, no makeup, her hair up in a ponytail, and radiated a tired kind of happiness.

Katya decided this Trixie was definitely one of the Trixies that she was attracted to.

“Move bitch, these are heavy,” Trixie squeezed past her, her gym bag slung over one shoulder, and carrying a grocery bag that looked about ready to burst, “we’re making goats’ cheese salad and scrambled eggs,” she called out behind herself, confidently striding into Katya’s kitchen.

Okay, maybe she wasn’t quite as attracted to post-gym Trixie as she’d believed at first glance.

Katya followed her into the kitchen, regardless.

“We’re making what?” Katya asked incredulously, “lettuce and eggs do not a breakfast make, we’re having toast.”

“It’s lunch,” Trixie stated, not even looking at Katya, “and you can have all the toast you want, babe but you won’t tempt me.” She dumped her grocery bag on the kitchen counter and removed her gym bag. Turning around she held it out, “can you put it in your room?” she asked, though it was clear this was more of a demand than a request.

Katya arched an eyebrow at her, “you can take it yourself.”

“I’m making you food, you’re taking my bag to your room.”

“Wow, you didn’t mention the new you would be a rotted cunt,” Katya laughed, taking Trixie’s bag, regardless.

The taller blonde shrugged with a smile, “the old me was, I don’t see a reason to change that,” turning back around to the counter she added, offhand, “maybe next year.”

It didn’t take them long to prepare the food. Trixie had brought an abundance of groceries intended to spruce up a salad and make it worth while, including grapes, walnuts, goats’ cheese, and honey. No matter how much she tried to persuade Katya (and perhaps herself) that this would make more than an adequate meal, Katya fried up some bacon and made herself two slices of toast to go with it. Trixie made faces at the meat, claiming that the smell caused by “carcass fumes” was infecting her salad and eggs, an argument that seamlessly carried on into their meal.

They were sat there, in the kitchen, Katya enjoying her substantially larger meal and Trixie trying not to feel envious of the white bread Katya was happily munching on.

“Dead pig,” she muttered, not entirely jokingly as Katya lined her bacon strips up on the piece of toast before piling on the scrambled eggs.

“I’d appreciate if you refrained from calling me names,” Katya retorted, lifting the piece of toast to her mouth and succeeding in making a right mess of both her plate and herself. “Besides,” she nodded her head towards Trixie’s plate, “cheese and eggs.”

Trixie gasped in mock offence. “Don’t you dare throw that in my face,” she said, “I can not accept my vegan fate at the same time as I embark on my fitness journey. I must first save my body, then save the planet.”

Katya just sat there smirking, they both knew she didn’t have strong feelings about veganism but Trixie did and so it was a decent card to pull.

“You know, you should try going vegetarian,” Trixie suggested in a way that was neither new nor hopeful. She’d long since given up on the idea that Katya’s moral compass, which was sketchy at the best of times, would somehow win out over the taste of meat. “Since you’re not saving your body, your schedule should be wide open to try and save the world. You know, try something new,” she shrugged.

“Why try new things when you can try nothing?” asked Katya around another mouthful.

Perhaps Trixie would have responded to that had there not been a resounding smack of what sounded like a person’s full body weight being slammed against Katya’s front door, followed by smothered laughter and the jingling of keys.

Trixie, her eyes wide, turned askance to Katya who simply rolled her eyes ever so slightly.

The sound of the door opening and swiftly closing was followed by a repeat of someone’s body hitting against it and laughter, half-swallowed up by kisses.

It wasn’t unheard of for Alaska and Sharon to turn up from some after party or other that had run through the night and well into the morning in a slight state. They usually preferred Sharon’s apartment for that, given that space was her own and not shared with someone else but did, on occasion, come back to Alaska’s place, whether because of misplaced keys, lack of forethought, or the location of the party from which they were headed.

Katya was relatively unfazed by the ruckus currently coming from the hallway but a quick glance at Trixie assured her the feeling was not shared by her companion so she decided to intervene. She knew from experience that Alaska and Sharon had no problem experimenting with locations outside of Alaska’s bedroom and was doubtful the thought of checking whether the apartment was empty would occur to either of them, especially given that their mental state was likely to be altered by chemicals of the less-than-legal variety.

“Are you planning on only giving us the sound bite or are we going to be treated to the whole show?” Katya called out to them, prompting another fit of slightly muffled giggles and the padding of bare feet that made their way closer, relatively unsteadily.

Alaska appeared first in the kitchen doorway, leaning against it slightly. Her makeup was smeared, her clothing askew, and her pupils noticeably dilated. Her long, thin legs were exposed up to mid-thigh and perpetually bruised in a way Alaska had once told her accompanied the rockstar life… or the groupie life. Katya wasn’t quite sure where that stood as Alaska had been performing less and less these days, instead accompanying Sharon to various “industry parties”, although Katya felt that title suggested a lot less drug use than she knew went on at said events.

“How much are you willing to pay for it?” Alaska asked, twisting her body back around to her girlfriend who looked only marginally less dishevelled.

Before Katya had a chance to reply Sharon crowded Alaska up against the doorway, nipping playfully at her jaw. “Not that you’re not worth every cent,” she breathed against her throat, “but I don’t feel inclined to share right now.”

Alaska’s eyelids fluttered as Sharon bit across her neck, prompting a breathy moan that indicated that despite her words Katya and Trixie just might be treated to the full show if they didn’t remove themselves from the situation quite hastily.

Sharon pressed Alaska harder up against the doorway, running her hands down her sides, to her ass, prompting Alaska to wrap her legs around her. The soles of her feet looked as though she might have walked barefoot the entire way home and Katya didn’t doubt that she would have, either because her shoes had been deemed too uncomfortable after wearing them for entirely too many hours or because they had been misplaced; sacrificed to the alter of the party gods as several previous possessions of Alaska’s had been before them.

Katya glanced at Trixie who seemed to be in a slight state of shock and then, purely for her benefit, delicately cleared her throat. “Should we make some popcorn?” she asked pointedly.

Sufficiently reminded of the presence of other people Sharon turned to grin slightly at Katya for the briefest of seconds before her eyes were tugged back to Alaska. “We’ll be in her room,” she almost growled, hoisting Alaska up and carrying her out of the sight of their audience.

“Don’t interrupt us unless there’s a fire,” Alaska called out.

“Maybe not even then,” Sharon threw in for good measure.

“It was nice to meet you,” Trixie called back but was only met with the slamming of Alaska’s bedroom door.

Katya barked out a laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. “Okay,” she said, “I imagine we have about 20 seconds until we’re treated to the not-at-all censored soundtrack of those two going at it so I hope you’ve finished eating.”

Trixie threw her a look of amused disbelief before giving her a nod, “okay,” she said with a chuckle, “you know, it’s quite nice outside and I’m simply dying for some sun.” She stood up and started gathering their mostly empty plates before Katya stopped her.

“20 seconds,” she reminded her before a high moan punctured the air. “Maybe not even that,” she amended. “Leave the dishes, we don’t have time.”

Katya grabbed Trixie’s hand, pulling her out of the apartment and down the stairs, onto the street below where Trixie was finally overcome by giggles.

“That was absolutely ridiculous,” she wheezed out, freeing her hand from Katya’s grasp to dab delicately at corners of her eyes with her fingertips in a careful manner designed to avoid smudging her makeup. The fact that she wasn’t wearing any at the moment was immaterial, it had become a habit. “It’s like 12:30 pm, where the fuck were they coming from?”

“I have no idea,” Katya earnestly replied, “some party I presume, Sharon drags her to a lot of those although Alaska never seems unwilling.”

Trixie straightened up, a slightly dazed expression on her face, “oh, that really was Sharon Coady then,” she said, “I wasn’t sure.”

“Do you know her?” Katya asked, slightly perplexed.

“Not personally,” Trixie shrugged, taking Katya’s hand back in her own and heading on down the street. Katya didn’t know if they were headed anywhere in particular and she found she truly didn’t care. “I know some people who work with her, she’s apparently very talented, has a real eye for what will make a trend.”

Katya nodded.

Sharon’s career seemed to be on a trajectory, only going up, and Alaska had on multiple occasions mentioned the talk about her that was apparently circulating the fashion scene.

Trixie went on, “Some of my friends are astounded she hasn’t started her own label yet, say she’s one of the few people they’ve met who stands a real chance of actually breaking into the business on their own.”

When Katya first met Trixie she’d been surprised to find out how much she knew about the inner workings of almost every aspect of industry LA had to offer. She claimed it came from working in makeup and that in order to be good at her job she needed to keep her ear to the ground but Katya suspected it was more than that. Trixie respected people who were good at what they did. It didn’t matter if they were makeup artists, models, fashion designers or musicians. Trixie simply had an earnest respect and admiration for people who put their all into their work.

“Yeah,” Katya replied, “she claims that’s what the parties are about,” she expanded, “she’s pretty sure the label wouldn’t take well to her quitting so she wants to make sure she has her own connections if and when she burns that bridge. Claims she can’t break into the industry if people are too scared of RuPaul’s wrath to actually work with her.”

“That’s pretty smart of her,” Trixie agreed, “Ru can barely just be called a designer anymore, he’s almost a religious leader. I swear, it boarders on a cult. It’s very much a ‘you’re either in or you’re out’ kind of situation. Sharon’s wouldn’t be the first career not allowed to prosper because RuPaul decided she betrayed him.”

Katya shrugged. She wasn’t really all that familiar with the fashion industry, only really privy to what she’d gathered from her relatively limited interaction with Sharon, and what Alaska had let slip. Katya always did her level best to ignore the bitterness that sometimes lurked underneath Alaska’s comments. Although she couldn’t relate to their particular situation, she could empathise. It wasn’t long ago that Sharon had been struggling as hard as Alaska to gain recognition and, anyway, most of the time Alaska managed to radiate pure pride at her partner’s success.

“I’d be lying if I said I believed that was the only reason she attends the parties though,” Katya said, raising an eyebrow.

“I guess they don’t call her Sharon Needles for nothing,” Trixie said, laughing, “oh god, knowing me I’ll actually slip up and call her that to her face one day.”

“I doubt she’d mind,” Katya replied, “she and Alaska used to have this punk band when they were younger where that was legitimately her stage name. That’s actually where the name originated. Although from what I’ve seen she prefers rolled up bills to needles so the truth of it is debatable.”

Trixie shrieked her enjoyment, but Katya wasn’t done.

“In fact, she’s probably doing blow off Alaska’s tits right now,” she proclaimed, lips stretched wide in a smile that only grew wider in response to the grimace on Trixie’s face.

“I didn’t get out of the apartment just to have you describe what I’m missing,” her companion complained, nose all scrunched up in distaste. Katya fought down the urge to tell her just how beautiful it made her look.

“Without dirty thoughts, there are only dirty dishes,” she said instead, prompting an eye roll from her friend.

“You’re such an idiot,” Trixie replied but the fondness of her tone accompanied by the soft smile on her face caused a fluttering in Katya’s stomach, as though she had just been showered with the loveliest of compliments.

She simply smiled back, swinging their joined hands between them, and allowed Trixie to turn the conversation to some other hopeful designer whose name Katya had never heard.

It didn’t matter though.

She made the appropriate noises of interest and laughed when the anecdotes warranted it, and although the topic wasn’t something she had a particular interest in she found that her reactions weren’t feigned.

The truth is, she suspected she could listen to Trixie read aloud from the phone book for hours without getting bored; each name and number as fascinating to her as the last.

#welcome back!! - tiff #trixya #sigyn #cisgirl au #katya zamolodchikova #trixie mattel #au #tw mentions of drug use #rpdr fanfiction #lesbian au #confessions by sigyn

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imaginationlane · 7 years ago

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The Assistant [Part 4 of ? // Bill Skarsgard x Reader Imagine]

Warnings: Adult Language, Adult Themes, Sexual Situations / Smut

Need to catch up on previous chapters? Click here.

[As always, please ignore any typos, errors and so forth as I generally catch any that I miss -- after publication. Therefore I’ll fix them as time progresses.]

Musical Inspiration: Delicate by: T. Swift [I’m trying to avoid getting this site flagged because she is way too serious about streaming sites right now lol.]

Another song that ended up becoming a good inspiration for this chapter is Lonely Together (Acoustic Version) by: Avicil & Rita Ora.

Original Chapter Posted On: December 10, 2017 Newly Edited & Revised Chapter Posted On: September 10, 2020

Summary:

A night out on the town for a few drinks, was all I had signed up for. But in reality… I got way more than I had ever bargained for when my boss and close personal friend, Bill Skarsgard, asked me to join him during a wrap party that the crew was hosting that night. In hindsight, I should have seen this coming. After all, we were both having issues in our own respective relationships and for some reason, we had found it easier to just confide in each other – rather than in our own significant others. Yet in the end, do the reasons ever truly matter when you begin an affair with your friend who also happens to be your boss? I often ask myself just how selfish could we be; he and I? The answer is: we’re completely selfish and neither of us really cares if this secret burns us alive – because it’s within each other, that we have finally found the things we had been looking for the whole time…

September 15, 2013 --

Champagne flowed freely and classical piano music played in the background as people happily mingled amongst one another. Well, everyone except for me that is. Instead, I sat at the bar and continued to play with my drinking glass. My father was proudly hosting a party for one of our models, Olivia Moore, who had just gotten signed to walk in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show this year.

When I considered the astounding implications of my surroundings, I was forced to admit that I was in vastly strange and unforgiving territory. I had went to school for four years to earn my degree in Communications, while this chick had nothing more than a high school diploma and was excelling further in life than I could ever hope to. The thought alone was depressing as hell.

Upon graduating earlier this year from NYU, my folks had gifted me with a 1.8 million dollar condo in the city in hopes that I would be the sibling that stayed behind and came into the family business. After all, when your parents run one of the most sought-after modeling and talent agencies on the east coast of the United States, The Frankford Talent Institute, they clearly had high hopes that I would eventually want to join in the family business at some point. It was only natural really. However, I wanted to build a life for myself and find my own success, which was why I informed them that I had dreams and aspirations of being able to take my degree into the media industry. Or perhaps even work my way up as a Director of Communications for a well-known company that was doing some good in the world. Of course, I could tell they were slightly let down by the revelation, but they decided to support me regardless.

After three months of endless application processes, I was soon faced with the reality that not one single office in the city I had applied to had even called me back for an interview. With the economy trying to recover, I quickly discovered that trying to get in with one of these companies was going to be next to impossible unless I knew someone who worked in any of these places. As my savings started to dwindle into the red, I came to grips with the fact that I had to shelve that dream and ultimately take my parents up on their employment offer. They were ecstatic with my change of heart while I, on the other hand, had to gently remind them that me coming on-board was only temporary, as I did want to build my own life and career at some point.

Now here I was, sipping on pink champagne at the bar and watching my new boss, Olivia, mingle around and put herself out there with other talent scouts that had been invited to the party. Upon arriving within the company, my dad immediately placed me as Olivia's assistant. My job? Keep her on time for all of her appointments, handle her scheduling needs, and most importantly of all, keep her happy. I soon found out, however, that Olivia was almost next to impossible to please. In fact, I was sitting here feeling like a cheap prostitute, thanks to her insisting that I wear this incredibly short black dress, because in her words, "my assistant has to look at least halfway decent if she's going to appear with me in public."

Fuck my life.

This dress was so short, I texted my father prior to us arriving tonight simply to apologize for how I would look and inform him that Olivia was making me wear it. Luckily, my dad was a patient person who understood that sometimes the talent we acquired had outlandish requests for us once in a while.

It was enough to make me feel like jumping off the Brooklyn Bridge, to be honest.

"You look ready to throw yourself off the balcony and give everyone the finger while you do it," a voice suddenly spoke out from behind me, startling me out of my daze.

I swiveled my seat around in hopes of figuring out who had exposed my master plan so carelessly in public. Yet when I finally looked up and into his eyes, I wasn't exactly prepared for how insanely gorgeous this stranger was.

Oh, holy shit... Hello, handsome.

"How rude. Don't you know it's terrible manners to expose people's plans so publicly? Now I have to come up with a new idea. I smiled back at him, watching as a smirk lit up the features on his handsome face.

His hand extended outwards, waiting for me to take it. After a brief moment, I set my glass back down on the bar and grasped his larger hand within my own.

“I’m Bill, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Y/N, and it’s nice to meet you too.”

Bill's head tilted towards the side slightly, almost as if he were trying to put a puzzle together inside of his mind. "Y/N? You wouldn't happen to be related to the guy whose company is throwing this get together, would you?"

Momentarily, I closed my eyes and bit my lip nervously as I allowed my hand to slip away from his.

"Mister Julius Y/L/N happens to be my father, and our new Victoria's Secret model, Miss Olivia Moore, just so happens to be my boss. I'm her assistant, I explained whilst slowly reaching for my glass on top of the bar.

After I finished taking a sip of the bubbly liquid, I set my glass back down once again before I refocused my attention back to him.

"If you're looking to network with someone truly important, you might want to try my dad. Otherwise, you're barking up the wrong tree as I can't help you with much of anything else," I warned him playfully, hoping he would get the hint that I wasn't anyone he should waste his time with.

A chuckle escaped his lips, and his delightfully green eyes landed solely upon mine. "It's a good thing I wasn't looking to mingle with anyone truly important then," he replied with a wink.

My laughter bubbled to the surface, as I shook my head at his poor attempt at possible flirting.

“That was terrible!”

His smile grew into larger than life proportions as he took in my reaction.

“Was it?”

“Absolutely.”

August 25, 2016 -- Present:

My eyelids fluttered open, bringing me back to reality. It had been a while since I had dreamt about that fateful meeting between Bill and I. It also left me wondering how the hell I had missed some of the most obvious signs from our past.

Gray clouds rolled in, darkening the morning sky. Thunder rolled in the distance, and the last thing I wanted to do was crawl out of this bed, especially since Bill was snuggling against my back and I could feel his soft breathing gently ghosting across my neck and shoulder. It was our last official day here and he hadn't left my side all night, refusing to leave me to my own devices after what had previously transpired between us. Instead, after we had collected ourselves off the floor, he ran a bath for me and insisted that I get in it and relax, while he stayed behind in the kitchen and cleaned up the remnants of our ruined dinner. I guess after what had happened between us, he wanted to handle me more tenderly, almost delicately. I didn't think I would even need that kind of affectionate attention, but it felt nice to receive it nevertheless.

My eyes slipped shut, as the events of last night flashed through my mind: his fire and passion, all-consuming and never-ending.

What an intricate web we weave.

Surprisingly, I had always thought that if a man were to treat me as roughly as I had been treated last night during sex, that I wouldn't enjoy it. But the truth was... I highly enjoyed it. And I think it was because it was with him. For some reason, it was just easy with Bill. Perhaps it was because I knew him better than most others did, and therefore I was more comfortable to fall back and allow him to take the lead. Ultimately, I had deduced that it was solely because I trusted him to lead the way.

It's a rare and fickle thing, trust. It's not easily attainable and can be shattered with just the tiniest infraction. Yet, given our remarkable circumstances, I trusted Bill immeasurably. He had seen me through several high and low points over the few precious years we had known each other, and never once had he judged me. I could say the same for my interactions with him as well, because of working so closely together. He had sometimes just needed a friend to vent to and be there with him, and that’s what I provided without fail. He did a lot of growing up alone over the years, basically only seeing friends and family back home whenever the opportunities had managed to present themselves outside of his work schedules. But underneath it all, I knew how difficult it was to live and grow on your own, and he did it all in a different country because his goals and aspirations in his life had demanded it from him. Underneath the growing affection I so obviously began developing for him, was a deep layer of profound respect for him as well.

Before we had met each other, we were simply a couple of young adults just stumbling through life. In a lot of ways, we still were even today. Bill has had a few discrete liaisons over the years before getting with his current girlfriend, while I was just a city girl with a dream of a bigger life who normally played things safe in the romance department. I didn't sleep around, particularly in my past, nor did I just jump into everything with my now ex-boyfriend John either. The fact of the matter was, this illicit little affair is probably the most risque thing I've ever done in my entire life. Alas, here we were, and I was enjoying what little time we had left together before reality was due to set back in tomorrow.

My ever-increasing thoughts were interrupted as I felt his arm tighten around my midsection and a pair of pillow-soft lips land perfectly in the crook of my neck.

“Good morning,” I whispered with a smile.

Damn, I could get used to this.

He simply hummed against my neck, allowing his hands to begin gently wandering up towards my breasts. Upon giving my left breast a tender squeeze, I breathed out an airy giggle, hoping he would continue his subtly sweet exploration of my body.

"God, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he grumbled quietly. His lips started drifting towards my exposed ear while he licked and nipped at my exposed skin.

He says that to me a lot now, but deep down I'm still wondering how long it's been like this for him. Has it truly been from the very beginning, since our very first meeting? It couldn't be. Yet, with the way this is currently playing out, I can't automatically discredit that possibility either.

"You should have just told me, you know. We could have possibly been doing this a hell of a lot sooner," I mused softly, taking in his tender affections and closing my eyes. I wanted to fall into the moment and submerge myself in his touch.

He halted his task at hand and sat up, pulling me back so I could turn and face him, causing the sheet that was covering me to slip down my body and expose my chest to him.

At that moment, it didn't matter that I probably had an insane case of bedhead or that I felt like I needed to get up and make myself look more presentable. None of those trivial things mattered presently. All that mattered right now was that we had each other all to ourselves, and the only thing I could do was burn this moment into my memory, praying that it never fades away.

How is this even my life right now? What the hell did I manage to do right?

Bill's eyes locked me in under his intense gaze and all I could do was bite my lip as I watched him observe me.

"You're right, I should have done this a hell of a lot sooner," he whispered to me before his lips came to rest on top of my own in a delicately tender kiss.

It never ceased to amaze me just how much his kisses always seemed to make me halt in my tracks and have me come to a complete mental standstill. With him, it felt as if time stopped and it was only just the two of us. The world outside of these four walls ceased to exist, and the only thing that made any sense anymore was his skin pressed so close to mine.

"I need you," I pleaded quietly whilst he pulled back and peered into my eyes.

“I know, I need you too.”

I could hear the thunder coming closer while a flash of lightning briefly illuminated the room for a second, and the rain started to gently tap against the window behind my bed.

I pressed my lips to his, drinking in his intoxicating kiss as his hands began to drift down the side of my body, bringing me even closer to him. Wrapping my leg around his hip, he shifted his body atop of my own and settled deep between my thighs. My hands wandered aimlessly across his body As his left hand cupped my face, he pulled back and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against my own. His breath fanned across my face effortlessly, while my hands drifted into his feathery brown hair.

“Are you okay?” I asked him, suddenly worried that he may be second-guessing this whole thing after all.

“With you, I’m perfect.”

Pulling his head back up, he stared down at me once more, almost as if he were committing this moment into his memory too. I began to feel slightly exposed and shy under his intense scrutiny. Bill's piercing gaze made my breath catch in my throat, which caused me to momentarily avert my eyes away from his. His eyes were so intense that it suddenly made me feel bashful.

"Please... Please don't do that. Look at me," he paused, causing me to shift my attention back to him. "You're so beautiful."

There’s my head, my heart, and I’m so caught in the middle.

As I pulled his lips back down to my own, I poured my feelings into the kiss, hoping that whatever I couldn't articulately verbalize to him, he would possibly understand through my actions instead. I knew better than to hope that he would be just mine, but that didn't mean that I didn't wish for it either. And if I could only have him during these few fleeting moments, then so be it. I would selfishly take it all.

Our bodies molded together in a perfect rhythm of forbidden ecstasy as I felt him slip inside of me with ease. His thrusts were tortuously slow, burning me alive with want and need. Bill temporarily broke our kiss, causing our eyes to lock as his right hand drifted outwards, splaying itself across my arm and interlocking with my left one. His gentle thrusts never stopped as I kept my eyes solely upon his. The intimacy of this act wasn't lost upon me. If anything, I openly welcomed this unique change of pace.

Leaning his head towards mine, he leisurely kissed me once again. His tongue darted against my lips, silently begging for entrance, which I readily granted him. Deliberately, his tongue slowly intertwined with mine. This kiss felt lazy and beautiful all at the same time. I could feel myself getting even wetter as he sensuously thrust himself inside of me. Bill was stimulating me not just on a physical level, but perhaps even more so on an emotional one as well -- and I wasn’t entirely prepared for it.

Maybe that was why my orgasm snuck up on me and blindsided me, causing me to pull back from our kiss and gasp. My brows furrowed as I felt myself free-fall over the edge and my blood caught fire within my veins. Bill realized what was transpiring the second it happened, as my muscles had clamped down onto him.

"Eyes on me, darling, keep them on me," he reminded me breathlessly, all while he continued to watch me in sheer amazement, tortuously grinding himself further into my body and working himself through my orgasm.

The second I came back down from my high, his head came to rest against my own while I finally allowed my eyes to slip closed for a moment. The sound of thunder, along with our heavy breathing filled the room while he continued pushing himself further inside. My hands came to rest on his scalp, threading themselves within his luscious chocolate-colored locks as he dipped his head to take my nipple into his fiery hot mouth. Sparks ignited within me once again the second his wet tongue swirled around the perky bud, and I felt myself losing grip once more.

It was maddening, just how easily he could make me come undone. It was almost as if my body spoke a certain language that only he knew fluently. I felt the passion, desire, and heat building between us whilst he gingerly thrust his hips against my own. I had never experienced something as tender or as sensual as this before, not with anyone. Not even John. It felt as if time was suspended and reality no longer existed. I had completely forgotten where Bill ended and I began. It was beautiful, all-encompassing, and was only eclipsed by the fact that I felt my fortified walls beginning to crumble down around me.

It was only then that it finally dawned on me about what was truly transpiring here: we weren't just having sex. He was making love to me.

A moan fell from my lips as I tossed my head back against the soft pillows. My vision began to blur and I felt another wave of release rip straight out of me -- causing me to feel as if I were going to explode. Bill's lips sought mine while his thrusts grew slightly more erratic. His hand clasped mine as he pulled back so he could watch me free-fall into the abyss all over again. His heavy breath fanned against my face as lightning flashed across the room once again. The thunder rolled overhead in the dark and foreboding skies outside, but inside -- we had never felt safer, cocooned, or more alive.

Our interlocked hands gripped each other tightly, neither one of us willing to stop the undeniable inevitability of what was happening. The rain pounded relentlessly against the glass, letting us know that the storm had picked up momentum outside, just as we did right here in this bed. It was a beautiful symphony of emotion and physicality that never ceased to amaze me every time we came together.

"Oh God," he moaned aloud, gripping my hand even tighter than before, allowing his release to pull him into a world of sheer euphoria. Bill's green eyes stared hard into mine as he let go of my hand, cupped the side of my face, and brought my lips to his for a searing kiss that almost left me completely breathless. I could feel him twitching and spasming deep within my body, while I just stared up at him in wonder-filled amazement.

After he finished, he breathlessly collapsed atop of me, unable to move while he caught his breath. I laid there silently, softly running my fingers through his partially sweaty hair and kissed the side of his head, giving him the few moments he so desperately needed to collect himself.

“What have you done to me?” He groaned weakly from beside me.

The truth was, I didn't have an answer to that question, because I was wondering just what the hell he had done to me as well.

August 26, 2016 -- 6:24 A.M.

The storm from yesterday refused to yield while the rain continued to pour down endlessly, as I stood behind the glass storm door, waiting for our taxi to arrive. Bill and I had decided several days ago to catch a car to the airport together. We would both catch a flight to New York's JFK International Airport and from there, he would catch his next flight into Sweden. I should be happy to be heading home, but the truth was... I wasn't. I was feeling slightly depressed knowing that tomorrow morning, I wouldn't be waking up by his side.

He has clearly spoiled me...

My heart began to race, as I felt a pair of lean muscular arms slip around my waist and pull me closer towards his body.

"Are you trying to get seen by the neighbors?" I kept my tone light, as I humorously tried to point out the obvious to him.

"Fuck 'em," he mumbled, placing his lips against the crook of my neck. I was beginning to wonder if that was his favorite spot to kiss on my body. Not that I was complaining though.

His response caused me to laugh and finally relax into his embrace. This vacation house had turned into our own private little sanctuary over the past few days. Leaving it all behind to return to our normal lives seemed like a very depressing idea indeed.

"This really sucks," I whispered on bated breath, hoping I hadn't just fucked up and made him think I couldn't handle this.

“I know,” he nudged me gently, working his way towards my ear.

"Time away should do us both a world of good, to be honest. We're not sure of what this is, so maybe we both need time to figure it out, and for you to decide what you want." My suggestion came out as a pleading whisper, hopeful that he would understand that both of us needed time to think about where we stood.

At the moment, he and I were dancing around something. What though, I couldn't be sure. But he needed to get things on his end together. The truth was, I didn't know if I felt comfortable continuing this if he decided to keep his current relationship going. I felt bad enough already, I knew my conscience wouldn’t be able to handle carrying this on for much longer.

Bill pulled back slightly, releasing his hold on me enough to simply turn me around to face him.

“I know that I like who I am when I'm with you, and I know I can trust you more than anyone else in my life. I also know that I can't get enough of you, and you drive me fucking insane with need." He paused as he growled out that last part and pecked my lips once again. "I just need some time to get things straightened out on my end, but I swear... I will. And when I do, you’ll know."

A small and meek smile graced my lips as I glanced away from his intense gaze.

Only time would tell if he still felt this way in a few weeks, especially after seeing her again.

"I like who I am when I'm with you too," I answered back quietly. Bill lifted my chin towards him and laid a gentle kiss upon my lips.

It never failed to amaze me just how much his lips could hypnotize me. His kisses were intoxicating, and all I wanted in that second was to shut the door and miss our flights.

"Why did you have to book our flights so early?" He whined as he pulled back from our kiss. It felt nice to know that I wasn't the only one who had similar thoughts racing through their mind.

I gave him a small giggle, turning my attention back to him. "I would think after practically all day yesterday, you would be good to go and begging for a break by now," I surmised breathlessly, my hand gently brushing against his right cheek.

"I can never get enough of you, and I don't want to," he told me, capturing my lips with his own once more.

I'm an actual idiot for this, I know I am, but I'm a willing idiot because right now, I don't care how badly this will hurt me when this whole thing crashes and burns.

Gathering a fist full of his black leather jacket in my hands, I sunk deeper into his kiss without a care in the world.

It was only when a car horn blared outside that we were brought back into the real world, and faced with the grim reality that once we stepped outside of this door, we could no longer be this affectionate with one another.

As I pulled back from his grasp, I released my hold on him and leaned down to grab the handle on my rolling suitcase.

"Are you ready?" I asked him sadly, while I prepared myself to make the best of this time apart.

"Unfortunately, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Let's go," he suggested as he opened the door and popped open the umbrella so we could make our way out towards the cab.

There you go, Part 4 is done!

Tagging: @kikilikes, @readsalot73, @diianawonka, @goswedish, @rougxlips @ffixation, @shadowpriestess6, @vladsgirl, @mrsbillskarsgard, @billgardskars, @adoresfandoms, @mightbelindsey, @we-are-like-a-timebomb, @fandomimcurrentlyobsessedabout, @negan5589, @decayingdeathh, @unicorn-glitter-princess, @voidpaintings, @the-fandom-phantom-fanfics, @mishdennise

#bill skarsgård imagine #bill skarsgard fan fiction #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgård x reader #the assistant series

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