#post azkaban sirius black x reader

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Surprise. Pt. 2 Post Azkaban!Sirius x Mom!Reader

Estelle meets Snuffles, and Sirius finally gets to meet with you.

Link to Part One Link to Part Three

Tags: @box-of-kinderjoy

After watching his daughter go back inside and you disapperate away, Sirius has a hard time deciding how to feel or what to do next.

He feels selfishly relieved you’re not married to another man, and yet he feels strangely guilty that you never moved on. Were you too busy being a single mother to date anyone? Or did Sirius hurt you so badly that you couldn’t trust anyone else ever again?

He feels excited to have a daughter, but anxious because he isn’t sure what to do with the information now that he has it. He feels guilty that she’s been raised without a father. He feels guilty that her father is widely known as a ‘notorious mass murderer on the run’.

And given Sirius’s reputation, he can’t exactly stroll up to your front door and introduce himself can he?

Sirius wonders if you’d believe him if he explained the situation to you. It seems unlikely as he’s got no proof to verify his innocence, but he has to try doesn’t he?

There’s no telling when (or if) Sirius will ever be a free man, and he’s already missed out on so much valuable time. What’s the worst that could happen if he tries to talk to you?

Well… you could refuse to hear Sirius out, curse him, tell him off for being a shit person, boyfriend, and father, then call on the ministry to come take him away—effectively breaking his heart and damning him to spend the rest of his life in Azkaban.

Sirius sighs. He can’t risk speaking to you with no proof. He’s anxious to see you and to meet his daughter, but he’ll be no good to either of you by acting recklessly and getting himself locked up again.

He’ll just have to be patient. As long as he’s alive and out of Azkaban, there will be more opportunities to prove himself and to make up for lost time.

Sirius’s ears perk up as he watches the front door of your home swing open. Estelle skips outside—a book in her hands and a little black cat at her feet—and goes to sit underneath a tree. The cat pounces around the yard chasing birds as Estelle reads.

Sirius wishes he could see the title of the book; he'd love to have even a small glimpse into her personality or interests. He wonders if she's reading for school or fun.

It suddenly occurs to Sirius that Remus must've had Estelle as a student last year. Sirius will have to write Remus to ask if he remembers anything about her.

Sirius briefly considers introducing himself as Snuffles, but he can't see much of an upside to doing that. For one thing, he might scare the living daylights out of Estelle the same way he did to Harry. And he imagines once you get home Estelle will tell you all about the ‘giant, scary, black dog’ she saw today. You’d most certainly recognize the description.

Just as Sirius starts to think it’s time to leave, the little black cat takes notice of him. With wide, unblinking eyes the cat slowly stalks toward his hiding place.

Sirius relaxes himself on the ground, trying to look as friendly and unthreatening as possible. The cat stops a few yards away, staring curiously.

Estelle is quick to notice her cat’s odd behavior, making Sirius’s heart beat a little faster. Maybe he will be meeting his daughter today.

“What’re you looking at, Toasty?” Estelle asks from her spot underneath the tree. The cat—Toasty, Sirius thinks with a smile and small eye roll—meows loudly and walks a little closer to Sirius.

Not wanting to seem too anxious and scare them away, Sirius lays his head down on his paws and waits for the cat to come to him. As Toasty doesn’t give up on his interest in the large black dog, Estelle gets curious as well and starts making her way over.

“What do you see—oh!” She exclaims as she finally spots Sirius. Estelle quickly scoops Toasty up in her arms and eyes Sirius cautiously.

Sirius, trying to show that he’s friendly, lifts his head and starts wagging his tail. Estelle still doesn’t seem convinced, but is forced to drop the cat as he scratches and bites her arms. “Ow! Toast, no!”

As soon as Toast is free, he comes closer to Sirius and starts sniffing his fur. Sirius wonders if Toast—like Crookshanks—can sense that Sirius isn't really just a dog.

Seeing that Sirius probably isn’t going to hurt her cat, Estelle slowly reaches out toward him. Sirius makes a small show of sniffing her hand, and Estelle crouches down to sit in front of him. Gently petting the top of Sirius’s Snuffles’s head, Estelle speaks quietly as if she’s trying not to spook him, “You are absolutely massive! Where’d you come from, hmm?”

Finally getting a closer look at her, Sirius’s heart swells. It may just be his pride talking, but Sirius starts to think Estelle looks more like himself than you.

He wishes he could speak to her, but he honestly isn’t sure what he’d say.

Sirius actually feels a little thankful he doesn’t have to show himself to her yet. He hates that Harry’s first impression of Sirius was to see him disgusting, still in his prisoner robes, and blatantly out of his mind with rage and grief. Sure, the interaction with Harry went as well as it possibly could’ve given the circumstances, but he’d rather his first face-to-face meeting with Estelle go a bit better than that.

“You’re so skinny…” She comments with a pitying tone, eyeing his dirty, matted fur and bones visible through his skin. “Mum should be back from the store anytime now; maybe she'll have something you can eat.”

Sirius sighs as that's his cue to leave. If you come home right now, you’ll without a doubt recognize him, and he doesn’t want to cause any trouble for either of you.

“I don’t know though; could be hours til she’s home.” Estelle shrugs, scratching the side of Sirius’s neck. “She said she was having lunch with Professor Lupin—wouldn’t tell me why though.”

Sirius’s eyes widen and his heart bursts. You’re having lunch with Remus?! He’ll surely tell you everything that’s happened! If Remus corroborates Sirius’s innocence, then you may believe him!

“Woah! What’s got you so excited?” Estelle laughs as Sirius jumps up, barks, and wags his tail. Happy to make her laugh, Sirius also puts on a little show of chasing his tail.

Sirius follows Estelle back to your yard to sit underneath the tree. Estelle gets Sirius a bowl of ice water and some deli meat that may or may not be going bad soon, but Sirius is grateful nonetheless.

Estelle doesn’t talk much afterward; she reads her book (a book on potions, Sirius notes with mild surprise) and occasionally looks up to make sure Toast is still within her sight. Sirius feels an odd sense of pride towards her. He doesn’t know much about her yet, but she seems like a sweet girl.

After an hour or so, Estelle goes back inside (“I’ll be right back, puppy, need the loo!”), and Sirius reluctantly takes his leave while she’s gone. He’s been here much longer than originally intended, and it’s time to go.

Sirius hides himself in a different spot than before and feels guilty when Estelle comes back outside to find him gone. She looks around for fifteen minutes before giving up and going back inside. Her slumped shoulders make Sirius’s heart feel heavy.

He wonders if Estelle’s ever asked about him, and what you’ve told her about him. Does Estelle think her father’s dead, or does she think he doesn’t care about her enough to be in her life?

Sirius sighs. He wants needs Estelle to know that he cares about her. He’s only known of her existence for a mere few hours and he’s already dying to learn everything he can about her.

Who are her friends? What are her hobbies? Interests? Favorite school subject? Favorite foods? What makes her happy? Or angry? Or sad? Does she like sports? Hate them?

He sighs again. The thought of Estelle thinking Sirius doesn’t care about her is heartbreaking.

A quiet crack lets Sirius know you’re home. He makes himself comfortable, deciding to keep an eye on your home until the lights go off and you fall asleep. He isn’t sure why, but it feels right.

He wonders if you believe Remus.

If you believe Sirius is innocent.

Sirius sits and watches the house for several hours. Through the window, he watches the two of you make dinner and sit at the table. After that, he doesn’t see much of anything. Soon enough all the lights are off and Sirius assumes the both of you are safe in bed.

He wonders if Estelle told you about the dog she met today.

Sirius turns back into himself again and stretches his muscles, readying himself to disapparate. He takes one last look at your house and is surprised when he sees the front door open. He stares as you step outside onto your front porch.

You seat yourself on the steps and stare silently at the ground. After a few minutes, you look up and glance around your house and at the dark woods in front of you.

“Sirius?” You ask loudly. “You still there?”

[xreaderbooks]

Angelic

Pair: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: Sirius doesn't feel himself after his time in Azkaban and you reassure him.

Based off of this request

Warnings: post-azkaban, insecurity, low self-esteem, fluff, comfort

Word Count: 1.6k

Wattpad | AO3

Sirius Black Masterlist | Navigation | HP\Wizarding World Masterlist

Looking at him and the way he transformed back from his animagus form, he looked like a shell of his old self, as if someone had stolen something from him and he didn't know how to ask for it back.

You stood frozen, not sure whether to strangle him into a hug until he was suffocated from your love or wait and see if he would even want you to touch him.

There he was, Sirius Black, on the front steps of the home you had both picked out after graduating from Hogwarts.

"Y/n?" His voice croaked out. "Say something, please."

The only thing that escaped your lips was a sob as tears streamed down, you gave into your inhibitions and ran to him, throwing your arms around his shoulders. He caught you the same way he always had with the same hug you always gave him when you were excited to see him after a whole summer apart, or whenever you passed a test and were overly anxious to tell him.

His arms circled your waist in the same familiar way you had almost forgotten.

"I love you, I believed you, I never stopped believing" You cried into the crook of his shoulder. You needed him to know that. You pushed back all the memories of the conversations and debates you had with Remus and other members of the Order who believed Sirius was guilty.

He gently pulled you away from him, taking you in from the last twelve years he saw you, murmuring as he stroked your tear-stained cheeks "I love you more, darling."

"Come in," You entwined your hands to guide him into your once-shared home, a home he barely had time in. "The place is pretty much the same."

"Your taste hasn't changed," He took in the decorations and furniture of the house.

You let your hand fall from his and nervously fiddled with your fingers as he looked around, "Hope you don't mind."

A half chuckle- half sob escaped from Sirius, "Of course not, love." He swiped his nose with the sleeve of the black and white striped prison robes. "What I do mind is you seeing me in this wretched state, I assume the bath hasn't changed?"

"Same as it's always been, let me grab you a towel and some fresh clothes." You rush off to the bedroom where you had kept Sirius's old clothes in a box and a closet where you store all the extra household items.

You heard the shower running from the thin walls and took a moment to gather your thoughts. He was back, he was not a murderer. He was back and he still loved you. You took a few deep breaths despite your heart still racing at the sight of him.

~~~

Weeks had gone by since he had escaped from Azkaban and waking up next to him in the same bed had not felt real.

Weeks turned to months and life had taken a turn for, what could be considered the best.

What brought you to reality was the nightmares you would coax Sirius out of, something you were used to doing even before Azkaban unfortunately. The only difference was there was nothing you could tell him now that could comfort him.

What did help was the fact that Harry knew the truth now and the reunion between Remus and Sirius had gone well. As amazing as that was, Sirius wasn't himself.

He lacks the flair he used to have; not that you minded, whatever made Sirius happy- made you happy. Whatever made him upset, equally affected you as much. You noticed Sirius has been trying to follow a routine in the same way he used to.

Tried the same hair products he used to use, it ended up with his hair sticking out in odd ways that frustrated him to no end, if he didn't love his long hair so much he would've shaved it all off.

Sirius attempted to style himself the way he once did and your shared room was littered with mountains of his clothes.

The results would put him in a foul mood.

"What's wrong, love?" It was one of Sirius' more difficult days. He didn't communicate his thoughts, he kept it all to himself and stayed moody for the rest of the day until he returned to his normal state of being.

He appeared to be zoned out, lost in thought, leaning on the counter in the kitchen with his arms crossed. He shook his head, "Nothing. Just thinking."

You broke through his arms, your fingers threaded through his hair, and he relinquished his hold to settle his hands on your hips. "Mind if I ask you what you were thinking of?"

He stayed silent for a moment, then two, inhaling a shaky breath.

"Am I as handsome as I once was?"

The question would have made you laugh if it wasn't for the poor-kicked puppy look he had. Sirius was rarely one to be insecure, it had you at a loss for words.

Your eyes scanned his, then the rest of his features. The curve of his naturally dark eyebrows, that matched his raven black hair. The perfectly shaped nose, and lips that you never got tired of tasting. His skin, smooth and the light freckles scattered on his face looked like a constellation.

It was true that he had aged, but as you had always expected, his age didn't take away from his beauty. A decade and a couple of years weren't going to take that from him like he was blessed by a god.

"Sirius, you have been and always will be beautiful to me," You confessed. You kissed both his cheeks, "You're more than beautiful, you're angelic."

You catch his eyes as he ducks his head shyly with a smile creeping onto his lips and give him a small peck.

He runs his hand through his hair and releases a breath while looking at the ceiling to keep the tears from running, "Thank you, love. I just haven't felt like myself since, well, you know. Nothing has felt the same, except for you." He squeezes your hips and brings you in for a tight hug.

"No need to thank me, Siri, I'm just happy you finally told me what was wrong." You kissed the side of his head and enjoyed the warmth of his neck before pulling back. "I'm sorry I don't tell you enough, should've known what was wrong by the constant outfit changes."

He chuckled, and you echoed his laughter. His smile dies slowly and he admires you in a way that has always intimidated you, the weight of his stare is heavy, "I suppose insecurity is the cost of having a goddess as a girlfriend."

His lips crashed onto yours and moved with such a consuming want and need for you. All of his kisses were loving and filled with a combination of emotions but this one took you back.

A nervous giggle escapes you, "Sirius-" You mumble his name against his mouth that continues to pursue yours.

"Yes?" He answered after you were unresponsive. He opened his eyes and stared at you, "I'm being perfectly serious."

"No, I am," You insist placing your hands on his shoulders.

He moved into your neck and trailed kisses down to the crook between your shoulder and neck, "I wouldn't be too sure of that."

You tried your best to ignore the fluttering in your stomach that was traveling lower with each suck and bite he gave you. "How about we do something haven't done in a while?"

"A while? Just the other day we-" He appeared puzzled when he pulled his head back.

"Not that!" You shook your head. "Come."

You lead him to the couch and gently push him down to sit, you then go into your bathroom and search through the drawers until you find what you were looking for. Back in the living room, you set down the materials you gathered and turned on the muggle television to whatever was on.

"What are you up to?" Sirius asked.

You pulled out the black nail polish from the pouch you held the paint bottles in and tossed his way with a last-minute 'Catch'.

"We're starting with this."

He lifts a brow, "Starting?"

"I'm helping you get back to feeling more like yourself," You sit on the couch, laying your legs across his lap, and bring his hands to settle atop your knees. "That's only if you want to, I just want to help and if you don't want to then we can find another way, nail polish was just a go-to back then."

You would've continued to ramble if not for him kissing you, being back with Sirius had brought back the little school girl in you that you had lost throughout the war, then again- he's always been able to bring out a different side of you.

"I want to," His voice was quick and encouraging.

"Good," You tapped his nose which made him scrunch it up. As you began coating his nails with a base, you felt a bit of courage to confess something you'd held in during the early years of your relationship. "You know at Hogwarts when we got together, some girls Marlene hung out with told me I wasn't good enough to be with someone like you."

"Someone like me?"

You hummed, brushing on the first coat of the black polish to the first dried base-coated finger. "Handsome, gorgeous, god-like."

Sirius tilted his head back and laughed, "God-like."

"Their words, not mine but looking at you now after all those years, they weren't wrong."

"They were wrong about you," He mumbled, laying his forehead against the side of your head and into your hair. "My perfect, pretty girl."

"And you're wrong about yourself," You took a pause on the painting and stroked his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you."

~~~

a/n: I actually really don't like this, i had a good idea in my head of what i wanted this to look like and over time i guess i losit it? i feel like i could have done a better job if writers block wasn't in the way but i didn't wanna take longer than i already have writing this request. lemme know what you think :)

[firsttimewriter92]

I would love a sirius x reader fic set during OoTP where the reader works at the Ministry while being part of the Order like Arthur and Kingsley, and she's staying at Grimmauld Place with Sirius. She often comes home to find him drunk and touch-starved during the school year when the only other person in the house is Kreacher. thanks xx

Hello dear anon :) I know it´s been a while since you sent me this ask. I hope you´re still in the mood for it :P I kept it pretty tame but there´s a lot of angst and it developed into a huge slow burn. Hope that´s all right and everyone enjoyes it <3

Words: 7.536

Warnings: Angst, cursing, (f!) hufflepuff reader, mentions of Sirius being bisexual, kissing, slow burn, fluff

12 Years

“Oh, for fucks sake, not again” you whisper sighed as you entered the kitchen at Grimmauld Place number 12. “Third time this week” you grumbled as you looked at Sirius´ slumped over figure sitting on the polished wooden table. His arms cushioned his head that was laying on the surface, an almost empty bottle of fire whisky next to him. No glass.

Taking off your shawl and coat you walked over to him to assess the damage. It wasn´t as bad as it usually was. At least this time he was clothed.

Three months ago, your boss and mentor Kingsley Shacklebolt had brought you to your first order meeting. The moment he told you what the order was and what they did, you exploded on him. Why didn’t he tell you about this order sooner? Didn’t he trust you enough? Wasn’t he confident enough in your abilities? Kingsley had just stood there stoically, letting you spit fire at him. When you´d finished, Kingsley sighed deeply and started explaining his reluctance to you.

He knew. Of course, he did. He knew who you´d meet again, once you set foot into headquarters and he didn’t know how you´d react. He was right to do so actually. The first time your eyes had met those of Sirius Black, it had flared up again. That nauseating feeling that haunted you for 14 years. Guilt, sadness and loneliness were flooding your system with only a small glimmer of hope and relief.

It was so surreal to have him in your general vicinity again. Two years younger than him, your time at Hogwarts had been the happiest you´ve ever felt. When puberty hit you like a freight train and the mischief of James Potter and Sirius Black became legendary, your hormones betrayed you in the worst possible way. A major crush on the black-haired teenager formed itself inside your chest over the years. Clawing at your ribcage every time you saw him in the corridors, you hated the feeling. You hated his beautiful face, you hated that your body reacted the way it did.

As a Hufflepuff and general people pleaser you´d despised his arrogance and his devil may care attitude. Especially towards the swarms of girls hanging onto the seem of his cloak. You´d stolen glances from afar, never exchanging a word with him. You paid attention instead. You saw everything and liked only so much. His pranks amused you; his bullying infuriated you, his attentiveness to his friends and the younger students warmed you. 

Sometimes, especially after the holidays, you saw him sitting in the great hall amongst his friends, a dull and empty look in his eyes and your heart had squeezed so painfully that you had to look away. About a second later, when you dared to look again, he was grinning and joking like nothing had happened.

And then, one year into your Auror training, your world came crashing down on you. You arrived at the ministry and immediately felt the air buzzing with dread and excited relief all at once. Grabbing the daily prophet that was handed to you with shaking fingers, your knees gave out then and there. Sirius´ face, screaming and laughing manically, stared at you. Ice replaced your blood as you´d read the news.

James and Lily dead. The dark Lord gone; a little boy still alive. Sirius? A cold-blooded murderer and traitor; already in a cell in Azkaban. You refused to believe it. You refused! James was more than a friend to Sirius. There was no way he was a death eater. Sirius had never made a secret about his hatred towards his family or how much he loved his friends.

That´s when your letters had begun bombarding the ministry.

__________________________________________________________

Now, here at Grimmauld place, you had to watch Sirius fight every day just to try and keep his sanity. Between the usual order meetings and the children coming to visit for the holidays, he drank himself to sleep every night. And ever since you´d moved into one of the bedrooms upstairs, you helped him into bed or at least onto a couch every night. Dumbledor was the one who´d asked you if you wanted one of the rooms upstairs. “Less commute” he´d said, remembering your dislike of apparating quite vividly. When asked if he had any objections, Sirius had only grunted before disappearing into Buckbeak´s room.

He wasn´t always unpleasant, however. Sometimes you did have conversations when meeting in the library by chance, although they´d always turned out quite meaningless. You couldn’t figure out if he wanted you there or not.

Around the holidays when the house was full, so his heart seemed to be. He warmed up to you, brought you tea, filled your plate at dinner (much to the surprise of everyone at the table) and conversed with you a little more enthusiastically. At these rare occasions you began to see glimpses of the flamboyant teenager return into his grey eyes and his small grins. Your heart beginning to flutter in your chest yet again. Then the teenagers returned to Hogwarts and so did Sirius´ sour mood.

It was about two weeks after Christmas now and therefore the 14th day of you finding Sirius black out drunk early in the evening. You walked over to the cabinet in the corner of the kitchen and pulled out the last flask of potion you´d brewed for him. It usually woke him up enough for you to be able to manoeuvre him around and lessen his hangover the next day. You hadn’t quite figured out how to make it potent enough to get rid of his drunkenness completely. It was an immensely complicated brew.

Sighing, you uncorked the flask and moved Sirius into a sitting position. He mumbled something and flopped around in your arms like a rag doll. Leaning his head back you put the flask to his mouth and poured. Sirius tried to get out of your grip very weakly and some of the potion spilled from the side of his mouth. “Come on, Sirius, please” you said urgently. “Swallow, damn it.” He finally did. When the flask was empty you gently guided his head back onto the table and waited.

You knew he wouldn’t be sober when he woke up but at least he would be coherent enough to work with. Slowly he began to stir. His head lifted and with a deep groan he leaned back into his chair, holding the bridge of his nose. The long black mass of hair on his head was dishevelled but still wavy and bouncy as it had been all these years ago. The little streaks of grey on his temples and in his beard only contributed to his still very much intact attractiveness.

Sirius wiped at his mouth absentmindedly and opened his eyes. Grey orbs found yours sitting across from him immediately. Instantly you recognized the defiance in them. Great.

“I asked you to give me that shit in the mornings. Not when I´m trying to sleep” he croaked hoarsely in a cold voice. You rolled your eyes. “I´m not letting you sleep at the table, Sirius. Not when you own a bed upstairs. But I can´t lift your arse, so…” you shrugged and looked at him challengingly. You´d figured out quite quickly that trying to be compassionate and soft with him in these situations had no impact whatsoever. Sirius huffed and wiped at his face again to try and gain more control over his movements.

“Never asked you to do that” he slurred slowly. Hot annoyance burned your throat when you answered in a hiss. “´S better than you trying to climb some stairs, falling backwards and breaking your fucking neck.” Sirius laughed humourlessly and looked you straight in the face.

“Not so sure about that.” He had a weird glimmer in his slightly sunken eyes.

“For fucks sake, Sirius!” you yelled as your fist hit the table. Sirius flinched only slightly as you regarded him with a furious look. “Could you at least pretend that you care about your own life? I know you´re lonely and frustrated. I´m sorry I´m annoying you by staying here but the order still needs you! Harry needs you!” You knew you had him with that. His godson seemed to be his only lifeline sometimes. “I won´t pretend to know what you had to go through, Sirius. But you´ve been given a second chance at this, even though you didn’t even get a first one. And you´re drinking it away. Stop it!”

Sirius looked at you for a long time. Breathing heavily his eyes threw daggers at you and internally you just waited for him to cuss you out. That didn’t happen though. Sirius stood up from his chair without breaking eye contact with you. You didn’t like the way he started walking over to you, almost predatory. So, you stood as well and backed away against the table. Of course, you´d crossed a line.

Watching him step closer and closer you had no idea what he was trying to do. The moment he stood right in front of you, his breath hit your face. It reeked of alcohol, and you crunched your nose a little bit. Sirius grinned, showing off his sharp canines.

“You´re worried about me” he sang triumphantly but couldn’t quite remove the belittlement from his voice. Even though you were sure he could feel the heat emitting from your face, your stomach churned with rage instead of shame. “At least someone is” you hissed quietly. He ignored it and only raised a single black eyebrow. You hated how good he looked doing that.

“Don´t tell me,” He breathed and leaned down closer to you. Fuck, fuck! Too close! “You have a little crush on me.” Your head snapped up immediately and your face must have betrayed you because Sirius´ face lit up in sarcastic glee. He chuckled darkly as his eyes scanned your face quickly. “Is that why you wanted to live here? Aw, that´s nice. How old are you? You couldn’t have been in my year at Hogwarts. I´d sure as fuck remember you.” Again, there they were. The waves of nausea crashing over you. Your infatuation with him mixed with worry about his behaviour started to become a cocktail of resentment and pity. You didn’t want to feel this way about him.

“Get the fuck out of my face, Black” you growled and leaned further away from him. Something dangerous mixed itself into his swirling grey irises and your stomach sank.

“Come on now, birdy” he whispered, leaning over you and talking against your neck. Your breathing faltered and hitched, your hands gripping the side of the table hard. “You´re pretty enough. You´d be a delightful way to pass the time.” Shock almost made your body convulse. You knew he was still drunk but his words were so clear. You felt cold, useless and helpless. His lips ghosted across your pulse when he spoke again. “Don´t be a prude, now.”

WHACK!

Your arm pushed him away from you forcefully before your hand collided with his cheek with full force, knocking him back a couple of steps. Breathing heavily, you stood upright and glared at him. His head was still turned so you could see his pale cheek turn red by your smack. When he looked back at you, you didn’t see rage or confusion in his eyes. In fact, they looked almost apologetically, like he knew he´d fucked up but was too proud to admit it.

Your eyes were slits when you spoke next. “Have it your way, then. I can´t deal with a three-split persona. Either hate me, tolerate me or fucking ignore me completely. But one more disrespectful bullshit act like that and I swear, Black, you´ll have one less ally here.”

With those venom laced words you turned on your heel and stormed out the kitchen and upstairs to your room.

Sirius stood there alone in the kitchen for another few minutes. The alcohol was still thrumming in his veins, but he was all too aware of what he´d done. What he´d said, even as he said it.

Of course, he knew you were right with everything you´d said. And that infuriated him more than he cared to admit. Why were you even here? After a stressful day at the ministry, you came back to a horribly decorated, dirty, uncomfortable hellhole of a house, a house elf that insulted you whenever he got the chance to and a fucking drunk man child. Every night. Sometimes he´d wondered how he´d gotten onto the sofa in the library or into his own bed after drinking. He´d had an idea that it might have been you, but he couldn’t be sure. Now he was.

You´d always made him drink the hangover potion that was in the cabinet in the corner. Had he ever thought about how it got there? Who bought or made it? He couldn’t remember.

You didn’t deserve this. He actually came to appreciate your presence over the holidays. He found you witty and bright, a delight if he was honest with himself. And the fact that you were a special kind of beautiful in his eyes didn’t help at all. So why couldn’t he allow you to grow closer to him? You clearly made an effort to at least know him better.

Bitterly he walked over to the almost empty bottle of whisky, setting it to his mouth. Thinking better of it he stopped, turned and poured the remains down the sink. There was a horrible taste in his mouth. Either hate me; He didn’t hate you. Tolerate me; He wanted to do so much more than that. Or fucking ignore me completely; How the fuck was he supposed to do that when you just…existed?!

He really needed to get his head out of his arse. That was no way to talk to anyone. You just wanted to help. Why though? He´d never seen you before. At least he couldn’t remember but then again, he´d surely lost a lot of memories back in prison. You must have been at Hogwarts.

Oh fuck, were you an old flame?! His body went rigid when he thought about that. It would kind of explain your behaviour towards his advances. Or…OR, you dickhead, she just didn’t want a sorry drunk, smelling like a distillery all over her. Sirius shook his head. Why was either rage or excessive flirting always his default? Because he didn’t think you´d react like that. He was way out of line of course, so he really didn’t think his hunch about you having a crush on him would have this much of an impact. How the hell could you like him when he behaved so poorly in front of you; when he hadn’t paid you much attention since you´d moved in?

Maybe he should start doing that.

________________________________ 

You lay in your bed that evening, hot tears running down your face and sweat beading at your forehead. You felt so lost. Had you really been holding onto this teenage version of him so desperately that you couldn’t see how much he was suffering now as a man?

It´s true, he´d never asked for your help. Were your actions overstepping boundaries of his that you just couldn’t see? He´d made you feel so insignificant that evening with just a few words. You felt downright dirty and even though he didn’t really do anything more than graze his lips along your neck, you felt used.

You´re pretty enough…enough. Was your intuition really this bad? Had you read him all wrong for all these years? No. He was drunk, he was frustrated, he was alone. Maybe someday he´d let you help him with at least that. His loneliness.

__________________________

The next evening there was supposed to be an order meeting and you were dreading it like nothing else. You tip toed around the house the whole day, praying that you wouldn’t run into Sirius at least until the Meeting started. Unfortunately, you weren’t that lucky.

When you made your way downstairs to the kitchen, you crept along the corridor quietly as to not wake up the shrieking portrait of Sirius´ mother. Just as you were about to open the door to your left down into the kitchen another one further down the corridor opened and Sirius walked out. Both of you stopped immediately when your eyes met. Your whole body went rigid and hot acid bubbled up your throat. Sirius stood still. He looked at you with an unreadable expression. He sighed deeply and his eyes changed into something calmer and softer.

He opened the door to the room he´d just exited again and waved you over. When you couldn’t move from your spot, his face contorted into a pleading look and he mouthed a ´please´, waving you over once again. And even though your legs felt like jelly, you started moving. Your heart was beating out of your chest when you passed him. You noticed he smelled clean. Clean clothes, clean hair, no alcohol on his breath or his skin.

You walked into the little study and turned around just as Sirius closed the door timidly behind him.

He squared his shoulder and looked at you. You were sure he could see your shiver.

“I have to apologize” he rumbled. “I behaved…incredibly disrespectful towards you last night and you have every right to resent me after what I´ve said.”

You stared at him. That wasn’t exactly what you expected. But it was also very much welcome. You stayed quiet, noticing that he was still trying to talk, having difficulty finding the words. So, you gave him time, schooling your features into not looking at him like you wanted to be anywhere but in his presence.

Sirius started pacing and mumbling before he looked at you again. “´S been difficult” he whispered. “I´m sorry, truly.” He hung his head, raking his fingers through his hair. “I´m not really sure what else to tell you. I-I don’t know you. But…maybe that could change? I mean, you live here. Might as well be…house…mates? Urgh” he groaned loudly and only stopped when you started giggling. He whipped his head in your direction and raised an eyebrow.

You stood there and watched him fight tooth and nail to explain what he wanted and honestly, after his apology you found it kind of amusing. Sirius was anything but insincere, so you didn’t question his motives in wanting to get to know you better. You appreciated it immensely and slowly your body relaxed, the acid in your throat started to retreat.

“Listen,” he said with a lopsided smile, his eyes glued to your smirk. “You can´t laugh at me for having terrible interpersonal skills. I was incarcerated for 12 years.” Your giggle immediately stopped as you looked at him with guilt.

“Relax” he said gently. “Sometimes jokes are the only thing that help me coping.” You nodded hesitantly.

“Did I even introduce myself properly when we first met?” he curiously asked.

“Not exactly” you said with a small shrug and a smile. “You were half drunk and just grunted.”

“Merlin´s beard” he sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He stood tall and walked over to you.

“Can we start over then? Can I salvage my reputation somehow?” He stood before you. Tall, handsome and kind. His hand was outstretched.

“I´m Sirius Black. Welcome to my lovely home” he said in a deep velvety and mildly sarcastic voice that made the hair in your neck stand up. “It´s nice to meet you, ___.” It was heartfelt, the way he said it. You reached out your hand and shook his. “Likewise, Mr. Black” you said.

He didn’t let your hand go for a moment, a grin spreading on his face. One that let him look years younger, one you wanted to see for all eternity. The little crinkles around his expressive grey eyes were the most adorable thing you´d ever seen.

Sirius looked like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders when he gently guided you out of the study and down into the kitchen. “By the way,” he said as you descended the stairs. “You´ll find that my humour is kind of fucked. I´ll stop the heavy drinking, promise. So, no need to walk on eggshells around me, ´k?” He turned his head up to you, giving you a beautiful angle of his neck and the tattoos that scattered down from his ear and disappeared into his collar.

“If you´re sure” you said with a grin of your own. His eyes blitzed amusedly as the both of you entered the kitchen. What you didn’t see was the curious look Arthur and Molly Weasley exchanged when they saw Sirius pulling out a chair for you before sitting down himself.

_______________________________

 The meeting progressed and plans were made. The debate was already heated enough before Snape decided to speak. The moment he opened his mouth, your eyes rolled to the side. You resented that man with every fibre of your being. Mostly because he seemed to have it out for Sirius. Taunting him whenever he could. It was unnecessary and just plain vile.

“It´s easy for you to say, Black. You´re just sitting comfortably in your home while everyone else is either being productive or helpful. At least not all of us have to deal with your bipolar character” Snape snarled and gave you a pity filled look. You were about ready to tell him to kiss you where the sun don´t shine when Sirius spoke up. He was relaxing into his chair, staring at Snape with a victorious grin.

“Congratulations, Sniffellus. At least you got the bi-part right.”

Snorting into your wine glass you coughed several times before trying to hold back a fit of giggles. You looked at Sirius´ smug face grinning at you. His eye twitched to look dangerously like a wink and you knew that the heat in your cheeks didn’t form because of the wine.

_______________________________________

The days after became more and more comfortable. Sirius kept his promise to you not to drink excessively anymore and greeted you sober every evening when you returned. You ate dinner together and talked a lot more. You actually began looking forward to coming back to Grimmauld place every night. The kitchen was cozy and warm, soft light from candles and gas lamps illuminated the space as you sat at the table, sharing stories from your time at Hogwarts and your Auror training.

Day after day Sirius seemed to hang onto your every word more and you slowly got to know his sense of humour and therefore gradually you stopped feeling guilty whenever he made a joke about his time in Azkaban. Of course, you knew that deep down, 12 years in that horrible place left its marks, but it seemed like he was done with showing them to you.

“So,” he said one evening, cheeks tinted a beautiful rosy colour from the wine he´d poured the both of you. “You were two years under me. A Hufflepuff and a brainiac.” His voice sounded impressed. “What I can´t believe though” he said and took a swig of his wine, “Is that you were a beater in the quidditch team, and we actually played against each other?!”

You grinned and nodded. “We did. I remember it vividly. I´d just gotten into the team and our first match was you guys. You were in your last year. I tried so hard to hit those bludgers in your or James´ direction, but my strategy was futile. James was too quick, and you were too wicked on a broom” you shook your head in mock disbelieve while Sirius´ eyes gleamed with excitement.

“I don’t get it” he said with an almost dreamy look on his face. His chin rested in his palm as he spoke. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you´ve got spark but I would have recognized that in school. You told me you were a closed off and private. But then you go joining the quidditch team as a beater no less. How?”

You smiled at him. “Well,” you said amusedly and took a sip of your glass. “I was closed off, that´s true. But that doesn’t mean that I had no personality. There was a certain potential of rage. I had to let that go somewhere.” You shrugged with a grin. Sirius looked at you impressed.

He topped off your wineglass and spoke. “I´m impressed. The closed off, timid girl, grew up to be a fearless auror.” You shook your head. “Fearless is not true” you said calmly. “Fighting death eaters fearless is a stupid idea. Makes you end up looking like Mad eye” you smirked and winked at him. Your palms encased your cheeks as you spoke in a high-pitched voice. “Compared to him and looking at all this” you turned your head prettily left and right, “I was scared shitless every time.”

Sirius threw his head back an bellowed a joyous laugh. It fitted him so well all you could do was stare at him in awe. He wiped at the corner of his eyes and gasped for air. “Merlin, I really regret being such an insufferable prick to you up until now.”

“Thank you” you said earnestly. “You´re not so bad yourself.”

He smiled at you sweetly. “And we never talked in Hogwarts?” he asked. “Are you sure?” he sounded almost hopeful. You huffed laugh and shook your head. “I´m sure” you said, feeling the wine coursing through your veins, making you bold. “I avoided you like the plague.”

Sirius´s face fell, and you were quick to answer. “It wasn’t because I thought you were a bad person.” Quite the opposite actually. “More like…you were…intimidating.” He raised an eyebrow at that. “Intimidating?” he asked. You nodded.

“Yes. You and your friends…you were legendary as it was. Everyone either knew you, hated your guts or was crushing on you” you could feel your face heat up once more. “I just didn’t see the point of being one of many, you know.” You smiled at him timidly, his expression somewhat empty. “I did pay attention, though.”

A little more light appeared in Sirius´ eyes at that. “You were?”

You took a deep breath and downed the rest of your wine. Fuck it!

Nodding you continued. “Yes. I mean, you were hard to miss. But I´d often see how you joked with your friends, how you comforted the younger students. It was nice to see that side of you. It always made me wonder why you decided to act on your ´attention whore´ attitude more. But then again, I didn’t know you privately, so I don’t even know if I´m right with that.” You rushed the last sentence and reached for the wine bottle. Sirius´ hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. His fingers were strong but gentle.

Goosebumps appeared immediately on your skin. The little hairs on your forearm standing up when you looked up and directly into his eyes. He regarded you with a look full of wonder, gratitude and something pleading. “What else did you see?” he whispered, leading your hand down onto the table, not letting go. Ok, this seemed to be a little too intimate, but you were damned if you broke eye contact for even just a second. It was time to come clean.

“I saw how you always seemed different when we all came back from holiday. At least for a few years. You were always…sad one minute and then chipper the next. It looked fake.” His eyes grew wide. “I saw how your eyes would not leave Remus´ plate that you packed with food until he was done eating. That always happened after he turned.” Sirius´ fingers tightened. “How do you know about that?” he asked in awe.

You raised both eyebrows. “As I said. I paid attention. Still do.” At your words and to your utter delight, Sirius began absentmindedly stroking his thumb across the soft skin of the underside of your wrist. There was no way in hell he didn’t feel the insistent and fast beating underneath.

“I saw a lot of things that made you more than just an attention seeker to me. What I didn’t like, at all, was the bullying. James and you. You were both better than that. Sure, Snape was a little git but…sometimes you overdid it.” Sirius hung his head for a moment and nodded silently before looking at you again. An ashamed look spread across his face. “I know. We could be quite…insufferable. At that age you don’t really think about these things” he said quietly. You nodded in understanding. “I know. And I also know that Snape wasn’t exactly innocent himself. But I guess it´s no wonder he hates your guts. He´s still a bloody git, though.” You grinned at him.

Sirius took a deep breath. “You saw all that without ever having spoken a word to me?”

“Yes”

Sirius looked impressed and incredibly moved.

“´S no wonder Kingsley bursts at the seams with pride for you. I guess death eaters have no chance when it comes to you.”

Blushing hard you grinned bashfully but shook your head. “I´m not that good in the field” you said, and Sirius raised an eyebrow in doubt. “But when it comes to interrogations, if they make it that far, I´m actually very successful. I either get a full confession or at least some names. Always.” You spoke the last part with as much confidence as you could muster, hoping you´d impress him at least a little bit.

“Wow” Sirius breathed. “And you think I´m intimidating?” You giggled. “No, not anymore, actually.” He seemed very pleased with that.

You sat there for a moment in silence. Your eyes trained on his tattooed fingers still gently wrapped around your wrist. Ever tiny movement they made sent waves of shivers over your body.

“Can I ask you a question?” Sirius asked quietly. “HmHm” you mumbled, still not looking up. “Please, look at me” Your head snapped up at his tone. His eyes were filled with something so soft it made your heart quake.

“I can´t stop thinking about it…The other night, you said I was drinking my second chance away.” You nodded. “Even though I didn’t really have a first one. What did you mean by that?”

“Oh” you said and looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I meant your trial.”

Sirius´ eyebrows shot to his hairline.

“M-My trial?” he stuttered out? “I didn’t-“

“-get one, I know. That´s what I mean.”

He looked at you with a shocked expression before his face relaxed. A grateful smile stretched onto his lips as he looked at you fondly. Slowly, his fingers that held your wrist moved to lift your hand up to his face. Not breaking eye contact he gently but firmly pressed his mouth to your knuckles, effectively knocking the wind out of your lungs. Times stilled. The edges of your vision blurred, and a loud beeping noise filled your ears. It felt like you were about to pass out from a fever when his lips left your skin, and an uncomfortable cold ran over your back.

Sirius set your hand back onto the table and seemed reluctant as he let it go.

_____________________________________________

The next days were a blur. A happy blur. You were walking on clouds, you were dreaming so much more vividly and to no surprise, Sirius´ face always ended up being the main character. Sirius seemed much happier as well. He went out of his way to make you comfortable. For the past week now, he´d cooked you dinner and scolded you whenever you tried to help him out. He´d point his finger at you, his eyes comically narrowed and told you to sit down at the table.

It also seemed like he tried to be closer to you whenever he could. He´d stand closer to you, he´d sit closer to you, he´d guide you through doors by the small of your back. It all wasn’t helping your situation at all. He changed his behaviour towards you so dramatically, you weren’t able to stop your old crush from coming back. Not when he looked at you so dreamily sometimes, not when you both dissolved into laughter about some silly story, not when you thought about his lips on your skin.

Every time you thought about that night, your whole body started to tingle. The little flirts just came naturally to the both of you. So much so, that it was in no time, that the whole order noticed something was going on. Most of them seemed very pleased by the fact that they didn’t have to deal with Sirius´ outbursts anymore. Especially Remus. He regarded the two of you often with mirth in his eyes while Tonks almost ripped out his arm when she noticed as well.

The only thing that dampened the sugar high you constantly seemed to be on, was the fact that even though Sirius and you started flirting heavily, nothing ever came of it. In the last minute, either him or you, would draw back and either laugh it off or deal with a few moments of awkwardness. There was a magnetic pull forming between the both of you, and both of you felt it. It got stronger with ever shared meal and laugh.

These days, it got so much harder to fall asleep. Your heart beating against your ribcage so insistently that it was a herculean task to calm down. Apparently, it started to show.

You came down into the kitchen one Saturday morning with Sirius working on the stove. Even though you felt knackered, there was no way you would ever not appreciate his broad shoulders and lean back, covered by some raggedy old band-shirt. You smiled fondly at his back. He heard you approach and turned halfway around. “Good morning, darlin´.” Again, goosebumps everywhere and your heart going ballistic. “G´ mornin´” you yawned.

Sirius turned the stove off and turned to you fully. The smile on his lips vanishing when he saw you. “Are you feeling ok, ___? You look tired.” He rounded the table quickly and came to a stop close in front of you. So close. It took everything in you not to take a deep, deep breath.

“Fine. Didn’t sleep well last night” you said. Lie. You haven’t been able to sleep properly for a couple of nights now.

Sirius looked around your face worriedly. “Do you need one of those pick me up potions you always gave me? I can give you some money to go get them.” That made you chuckle. You lifted your hand and very gently ruffled the soft, black locks on his head.

“Oh, Sirius” you said smiling. “I didn’t buy them. I made them.” It took him a moment to let your spoken words sink in. His eyes went impossibly wide, then slightly damp. You retracted your hand from his head. 

Sirius couldn’t hold on. In one gentle swoop he bent down slightly and pulled you into his chest by your waist. Your arms wound around his neck in an instant. Delirious with happiness you pressed your forehead against the side of his neck and felt the vibrato of his voice against it as he hummed contently. He smelled divine. A mixture of firewood, tobacco and something citrusy. It smelled like coming home and you felt your crush bloom into something much more valuable. It didn’t scare you at all. You were cradled in his arms, his cheek atop your head, his hands gently caressing the small of your back. You could´ve stayed like that forever.

“There´s nothing I could give you to make up for all the shit I´ve put you through” he whispered into your hair. “I don´t deserve the kindness you´ve given me or are still giving.” You shook your head against his neck and wanted to speak, but he was quicker. “You make it more than bearable to stay in this house, love. I don’t know where I would be if you hadn’t decided to move in.”

You stook on your toes to be able to hug him closer and he pulled you in with a desperate sigh against your ear. “I was such a fucking arsehole to you. I´m so sorry.” Hot tears formed in your eyes when you heard his tone. “You are lonely” you choked out. “And frustrated. I get it.”

“…was” he whispered and slowly withdrew just a little to look you in the face. His gorgeous, regal features were formed into a look of gratitude and longing.

“What?”

“I was lonely and frustrated” he emphasized. “Not anymore.”

His blazing silver eyes took in the entirety of your face before closing them and leaning his forehead gently against yours. “I´m glad you´re here with me” he said before kissing your forehead and almost sending you to the ground. The tears spilled over. Sirius noticed them and used his little finger to wipe them from your face.

“Why aren´t you able to sleep? What do you need?”

“I think it´ll be a little easier now” you said with a watery smile. Sirius nodded his head, for the time being, he was satisfied with your answer.

“Let´s eat breakfast before everyone shows up for the meeting. The moment I have to look at Snapes hair, I´ll not be able to eat for hours.”

_________________________________________

The meeting went quite well. Most of the time people were calm and the plans you´d made weeks before, finally came to fruition.

You were sitting beside Sirius who´s palm sat comfortably on your thigh underneath the table. It burned your skin and made you a bit drowsy with longing, but you paid attention still.

After the meeting, some of the members stayed for dinner and drinks after. Everyone had a great time. Sirius and you stood a little to the side, close together and smiling happily.

“Well, finally” came a booming voice from the table and your head swivelled towards Kingsley. He had a dopey grin on his face, wiggling his eyebrows as he regarded Sirius and you. It was evident that he was quite tipsy.

“I really thought it would never happen. You two” he pointed at the both of you and with a hiss you gestured for him to quit it. “Kingsley” you whisper yelled while Sirius next to you just tried to bite back a huge grin. “What?” Kingsley slurred. “You could at least thank me, you know. For bringing you here. ´S the last thing you deserved after all these dumb howlers. Haha!” You felt the colour drain from your face. Oh no. Oh no. “Kingsley, shut up!” You hissed at him again. Sirius looked very curiously between you and Kingsley.

“What howlers did you send him, darling?” he asked in an amused tone.

“SO MANY HOWLERS!!” Kingsley yelled and nearly fell of his chair. “You´re lucky I started intercepting them when I became your mentor. If the committee had found out that the one terrorising them with howlers was actually an auror trainee…I tell ya. You wouldn’t be an auror today.”

“Oh Merlin, help me” you sighed. “Kingsley, please just drop it.”

Sirius´ face was filled with question marks. “What in Merlin saggy left nut is he talking about?”

Kingsley explained. “You see, dear Sirius. This one,” he pointed at you with a shit eating grin. “This one wouldn’t take no for an answer. She tried to send them anonymously and for the most part it worked. Until they set me on it. I found out it was you,” he playfully glared at you. You wanted to sink into the floor and never emerge again. “At this point I was already training you and you had so much potential. So, I made it work.” He sounded so proud of himself.

Sirius had walked over to Kingsley, still smiling and trying to figure it out. “What howlers did she send Kingsley? Why would they be so dangerous for her career?”

“Oh” Kingsley said, and his eyes went big. “Oh, you don’t know.” Sirius looked taken aback.

“I don’t know?”

“Yeah, the howlers, the letters she sent. They were because of you.”

Sirius went still, staring at Kingsley intently. “What do you mean, they were because of me?”

“Kingsley…” you tried again but your voice was too quiet. You could only let it happen. You´d try to explain it to Sirius later. That was, if he didn’t throw you out the house.

“They were trial demands” Kingsley said matter of factly and the air was suddenly too think to breath. You felt like drowning.

“Trial demands” Sirius whispered as he put two and two together. He turned to you slowly. You couldn’t look him in the eyes, embarrassment making your skin feel like it was on fire.

“Kingsley?” he asked in a dry tone without looking away from you. You felt his eyes boring into you. “Kingsley, when did you intercept the last demand?”

Kingsley hummed. “Hmmm…. the last one I got was about four days before your escape from Azkaban was made public. Before that, they came in once a week like c-clockwork.”

You heard Sirius take in a sharp breath. When he spoke next, he was calm, quiet and somehow sounded unsure. As if he couldn’t believe what he´d just heard.

“You…you tried to get me a trial…for 12 years?”

Your shoulders pulled themselves upwards as if you were trying to sink into your own body before you nodded, looking at the floor.

You heard a sniffle from somewhere to your right. It sounded like Molly Weasley.

“___” you heard Sirius say. His tone was choked up and still unsure. “Please look at me” he pleaded.

You couldn’t. You couldn’t bare the look on his face. He already knew about the crush you´d had on him in school and now he´d found out that even as a grown woman you tried so hard to get with him. He must be so appalled.

You shook your head no.

“12 years?” you heard him ask again.

You nodded.

“Every week?” His voice was closer now.

You nodded. His shoes appeared directly in front of you and you cowered back against the counter even further. “Don´t do that” he whispered. “Don’t…please, look at me.” His voice cracked and at that your head snapped up to look at him. The sight broke and healed your heart all at once.

Silent tears were running down his tinted cheeks. His eyes were swimming with something you couldn’t pin point. With a wobbly voice he spoke.

“You didn’t believe it was me?”

“Of course not” you whispered, throat tight.

“Why not? Everybody else did”

“There was no fucking way you´d betray James” you shook your head defiantly. “No way. It all fit too well. They used your family name and the reputation behind it. But I knew you couldn’t have been a death eater. I saw you…in school…” Your own voice began to crack when you thought back to the day you learned what´d happened to him.

Sirius nodded slowly. “Yes. You saw me. You saw me. You always have” Gentle, warm hands lifted to your face and encased it. Sirius looked at you like you were the only other living being in the world. Another tear fell down. “Don’t you ever, ever, call your feelings for me a simple crush” he said and smiled at you. “I didn’t know I had such a loyal warrior out there.” Your face was also tear stained by this point. You sniffed and Sirius gently shook his head.

“No more tears, my love. I´ve got you now.” And with that, he pulled your head to his and pressed his lips to yours. It was like a rubber band snapped in your chest. As your hands tangled in his hair at the base of his neck, he hugged you ever closer, lifting you a little and moving his lips more insistently against yours. This was right, this was perfect.

Open mouthed kisses were pressed against your lips slowly, thoroughly. There was no sound except for his breathing and his heart. A throat cleared itself in the background and with a groan Sirius let go of your lips, looking at you. His grin seemed excited. You didn’t have a chance but to reciprocate it.

“You know that it´s not a simple crush you have on me, right?” Sirius winked at you. You nodded in defeat and leaned your forehead against his chest. You felt his chuckle. “Come on, dove” he taunted you good naturedly. “Call it by its name. Please?”

Your eyes met his and they twinkled with a juvenile excitement you hadn’t observed on him yet.

“I´m in love with you” you said and smiled.

Sirius closed his eyes to let your words really penetrate his mind and soul. The hands around your waist tightened before he nodded with an equal smile. Again his lips met yours. This time, shorter, sweeter.

“So am I” he whispered against them. “I love you. My beautiful fighter. You´ve saved me.”

___________________________________________________________

thank you very much for reading. If you liked it, please leave a reblog or a comment so I can improve :) I´m grateful for every feedback I get. Thanks a lot

[jamesmackreideswife]

hey fam can anyone recommend some post post azkaban! sirius x reader? preferably smut but anything works bc THAT MAN IS SO HOT WTFFFFFFFFFFF im in love. i just read a fic where his arms have tattoos and guys seriously arms are so hot especially on like older guys (MAC FROM THE MEG???? bruh his arms are DELECTABLE) anyways yes thanku pls 🙏

[wingedhallows]

"i'm older than you think." ; sirius black

pairing: sirius x reader | 1k words plot: Sirius is taken aback that you're actually older than you look. prompt: "I'm older than you think." authors note: just a little something that came to me some nights ago.

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The Black’s family home was lively, more than what you expected. Two redheads rushed past you as you brought a hand through your hair. The strong wind had messed with it. 

“Get back here you two!” a woman, also with red hair, yelled after them.

“Oh, hello, dear.” she spoke, her voice gentler.”Hello.” You answered. “Y/N, there you are.” Tonks' voice came from behind the red headed woman. A small smile spread on your face as your friend approached. “For a moment I thought you wouldn’t come, come on.” 

She engulfed you in a hug and rubbed your back in a comforting manner. With an iron grip, she dragged you into the kitchen. “I didn’t know we would have another guest, here, let me fetch another set for you.” The woman chuckled as she pushed past you two. “No need-”Don’t try, that’s Molly Weasly, just eat.” Tonks laughed as she pulled you through the door.

Around the big kitchen table sat a few more red heads, some teenagers and adults.

“Everyone, this is Y/N L/N. She’s one of the greatest Aurors I know and hopefully, after tonight, a member of the Order.” Tonks announced, a comforting hand on your shoulder as she pushed you towards the table. A man, curly hair framing his handsome bearded face and a sly smile beaming towards you, held his hand out for you to take. 

"Sirius Black, the owner of this lovely house. I’m glad a more beautiful person is joining us. Nice to meet you, love.” He spoke before he kissed your hand with a grin on his face. A certain heat crept onto your cheeks as you shot him a grin yourself.

“Nice to meet you as well, Mr. Black. This house is indeed very lovely, so bright and colorful.” You chuckled. His eyebrows shot up and a laugh escaped his mouth. 

“And she’s got humor, merlin.”

“Holy, get a room.” Tonks spat with widened eyes. She grabbed your arm and pushed you down onto a chair. “Here you go.” Molly grabbed your shoulder and placed a bowl of food in front of you. Without another word of refusal you ate what Molly had given you. You didn’t miss the many times Sirius had glanced your way.

After the meeting and your agreement to join the Order and help Harry Potter, Sirius’ godson, to help defeat Lord Voldemort, Remus Lupin had asked for another drink and you agreed to stay. Harry and his friends had gone upstairs an hour ago claiming to go to bed, though you believed otherwise. Sirius had seated himself across from you.

“So, you’re an Auror?” with a sip from your cup you nodded. “I became one right after graduation, I’ve been one ever since.” You shot him a smile and reached for your pack of cigarettes. 

With a small smile on your face you held out the pack for him. “Want one?” he shot you a smile and nodded his head. “I’d love one.” you chuckled. After lighting your stick you leaned over the table to light his. His eyes widened as you came closer as expected.

“As an Auror, you must be in grave danger.” He spoke. It was only you two, the others were immersed in their own conversations.

“It’s always dangerous, feels nearer than it did last time though.” His eyebrows furrowed and he chuckled as he blew some more smoke from his lips. You did the same. “Last time?” you nodded and took another sip from your cup.

“The first war?” You tried, he didn’t get it though.

“What would you know of the first war? You’re barely an adult, we all know Tonks’ hardly one.” He stomped out his cigarette and without a warning a laugh escaped you. “Oh, merlin.” You heaved, wiping the non existing tears.

“What’s so funny?” he spoke, a unsure smirk on his face. “Mr. Black-” you had to laugh again.  “This is truly hilarious.” you paused

“I’m older than you think.” you took a sip from your cup and a big smile spread on your face once again. 

“What?” he managed to say, the cup of firewhiskey in front of him long forgotten. You lit yourself another cigarette and gave him a smile.

“We went to Hogwarts around the same time, I think.” you paused and his eyebrows furrowed once again. “You were a fourth or fifth year. I mean who could ever forget the great and mighty Marauders?” His mouth had opened in disbelief.

“I’m almost ten years older than your cousin.” you whispered.

“So-”Yes, I’m almost as old as you, so.” He shook his head and stood from the table. With his cup in hand he made his way next to you.

“Well, forgive me, darling. You look hardly a day over twenty.” You had to laugh again and shook your head.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Black.” he clasped your hand in his and gave you another smile. “Please call me Sirius, love.” you nodded and took another sip of your drink.

“And since the Firewhiskey is slowly loosening my tongue, I believe that I do not feel ashamed to say that I'm slowly starting to fancy you, Y/N.” you stopped yourself from laughing and nodded at him.

“I’m afraid, me too.” A wide smile spread on his face as he came close.

“Good, then I get to do this.” with a hand on your cheek he came closer. His warm lips connected with yours and with almost rehearsed movements you kissed. Your hand found the back of his head, the other sat on his neck.

 “Ew, you two.” Tonks spat and Remus had to laugh at the sight of you two.

“Definitely hardly an adult.” Sirius chuckled.

You two were out of breath as you rested your head in the crook of his neck with a grin on your face.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Honey, I’m Home-!

Sirius Black x Mom! Reader

Ever since Sirius was sent to Azkaban, you were the one in charge of raising Harry. Doing your best, and lucky to have Remus to help. Because of that, a certain Rat wasn’t able to avoid any of your gazes. When Harry’s third year came to a end, you were given quite a surprise at the train station

Warnings 18+, P in V, Female Reader, high emotions, hurt comfort, fluffy and heated sex, getting back together, implied breeding kink, taking care of your man with baths food and you, sir this bed is about to be destroyed with how hard he’s going to rail you. Also, implied Wolfstar/ Remus x You/Poly situation deal up in here hehehehe

“Harry-!” You called, with a smile. Always there to pick him up from the station, every single time. As a good parent would. Ever since you found out he had such a risk to end up at the Dursleys, like hell you would let that happen. Made you pamper him a bit, given your good friends lost their lives for him. But like hell he didn’t deserve it.

“Shhh shh-!” Harry was soon hushing his friends, leaving you confused. Hermione and Ron quick to hush up, while Remus would set the last of the bags off the train. Wanting to help out, since there were so many Weasleys to worry about. The way he smiled, you were even more curious. You couldn’t recall the last time he looked so relieved. Was there a change in laws that permitted him to work at Hogwarts?

“Children, settle down. Settle down. Go on and show her the surprise.” He teases them, as he would help Molly with the rest of the Weasleys. He threw you a wink, which had you very confused. Not what did that Marauder have in mind this time?

“Mum…..Can we get a dog?” Harry asked you, as the trio stood next to each other. With cuts and bruises all over, but smiling. Even Ron seemed chipper, despite the fact he was in crutch. The hell did those three get into this time?

“A dog-? Harry….You know why we can’t get a dog.” You sighed, not wanting to have this discussion again. With out Sirius, you just couldn’t. Any dog was to painful of a reminder. Oh how you miss your padfoot. What you would give to see him again.

“Mum, please? He’s got no where else to go. Just look at him-“ Harry pleaded, as the trio stepped aside. The dog now exposed to you. Was so painfully skinny, yet also so furry at the same time. Matted fur, and just looking like a grim. He looked so much like Sirius, but so dead as well. Your heart just couldn’t say no this time.

The defeated sigh had them cheer, as Remus returned. Still giving you this coy smile, that had you furrow your brows. You felt like you were missing something, but you didn’t know what. You just knew that it was time to take everyone home.

With Harry hugging his friends goodbye, while this new dog stuck close to your legs, Remus would catch up quickly with Molly. Explaining something. You swore it was about Scabbers, but the new playmate was keeping your attention. Suddenly jumping on you, and licking your face.

“ACK-! HEEL HEEL-!” You called, as the dog was just to strong. How was something so fragile so durable? Reminded you of Sirius. How even in his dog form he was able to tackle people down. Was just making your heart hurt more, which in a morbid sense made you unable to refuse the dog either.

“Mum, Uncle Remus said you should head home with our new dog. He needs me to stay here and catch Mrs. Weasley up on stuff.” The way he fidgeted with his glasses told you it was a mixture of a lie and some truths. What the hell were these people planning? Was this some scheme to help you move on? Accept Sirius was never coming back? That hurt, but also a point was made. Who can escape Azkaban?

“Alright. But be home before dark.” You warned, as you kissed his forehead. Right on his scar, which made him smile. He made sure to give you a hug, before quickly returning to the red heads. Poor Molly looked ready to faint. Make that she did, and the twins had to catch her. Yeah, like hell you wanted to be involved with that.

“Alright, let’s-“ But the dog was running. Right through the wall, with no hesitation. You were flabbergasted, but had no time to think. Harry’s new dog was running off. No way you wanted his poor heart broken over that. So, you ran after it. Trying to catch up, but it seemed high on life.

“GET BACK HERE-!” You hollered, as the dog was running like it was the last thing it could ever do. You were so focused on trying to catch up to it, you barely noticed where you were running towards. By the time you finally caught up, you were wheezing. Hands on your knees, as the door the dog stopped at opened.

“About time Master and Mistress Black returned.” Kreacher sneered, as the dog hurried inside. Did he say what you think he said? No way. That can’t be Sirius. No way in hell. Looks like him, but he’s in Azkaban. You don’t just escape Azkaban. Sure, the daily prophet said he did. But it was more than likely gossip gone wild. You swore every week they said someone did, only for them to be returned the next day.

“Kreacher, phew, give me a minute here.” You coughed, as you stumbled inside. Left for the building to vanish, in the early morning fog. As if it was never there. Leaving you to be alone, with the elf and dog, as you hung up your coat.

You did your best with making the home more live able. The spare rooms built for whenever Harry wanted friends over for the summers. Along with just a safe haven for friends in need of a stay. You turned what was once a cage, into a proper home. Seemed the dog loved it, as it was quick to run up the stairs. Bolting past the curtained painting, and straight to your bedroom.

“How does it….No. no this can’t be. No way…” It was starting to become harder to deny, as you walked up the stairs. By the time you reached the door, you heard it. That familiar eerie bone cracking, when a animagus was changing forms. No way. It couldn’t be. It can’t-

“Home sweet home-“ That gruff voice sung to you, as you opened the door. There he was. Your husband. Your world. Your everything. Standing there, bending his back, as he sported a tattered Azkaban uniform. Bloody, dirty, hardly clothing at all. Hair a mangled mess, and in desempate need of a bath and shave. He was so sickly thin, the very thin fabric was just a sheet on him. Hardly could process it, when those dark eyes locked on yours. Hair so long now, and body tattered. No matter the design, it was still him. Your Sirius.

“Hardly changed a day…” He dreamily said, with that exhausted smile. He was so drained, but you could still see the pure joy in his eyes. He was home. He was with you, and could be there for Harry now. His best friend Remus was in his life again. He’s not in that damn prison, and he’s in your sight once more.

You didn’t care about the grime, as you practically fell into his arms. Sobbing in joy, as he held you close. Despite his thinner structure, he was able to hold you tightly. As tightly as he could, and sway with you. No need for words. Just gentle tears.

That was why Remus was so coy, and why Harry had you two run off. You two needed time to reconnect. Even so young, Harry could grasp how important this was. Guess you were rasing him right. Seemed also that Kreacher might have missed Sirius as well, because you could hear a bath being run. No one asked for it, but he did it. His own free choice. He missed him, in his own way.

“Darling, I love you so much. I really do, but I am so fucking gross right now. You know I’m being honest when even I’m unable to handle my own stink. I’ve had sex with Moony under a full moon. I’m GROSS gross right now. I will kill for a bath-“ He went on, making you just laugh with your tears. Despite the years in such a horrific prison, he was still himself. Guess he was always a little insane.

You didn’t let him go an inch, as you trailed after him to the bathroom. More than happy to help him wash. Just enjoying the needed intimate moment. Just a wife, washing her husband. By god was he filthy. By the time Harry and Remus returned, he was finally drying off. You had no idea if the bathtub will ever recover. Least he was now in his favorite black robe.

“I’ve got dinner handled, don’t worry-!” Remus called, as Sirius would come down the stairs with you. Unable to let go of his arm, and he hardly complained. He missed your touch all the same, as you two would enter the dinning room. Where Harry sat.

“Guess we better start from the beginning.” Harry murmured. You had already gotten used to your son’s insane adventures, but this one took the cake. He got his god father out of Azkaban, somehow-? Yeah, you were sitting down for this. Mindlessly playing with the exposed chest hair you could grab, as the trio of misfits began to explain.

Even while eating, more like Sirius devouring anything in sight, there was so much to discuss. Was mostly Remus, and Harry, speaking. Given Sirius was more so busy hiding during that time frame. Oh how your heart had broken, and repaired, over and over from it all. Your poor husband. But, he’s back now. He’s back, and he’s never leaving you again.

“I know you are my god father and all, but….Do I call you dad now-?” Harry asked. He’s thirteen, still a child after all. It’s going to be a lot to process, even by Wizard standards. With his meal finished, Sirius did have to think a moment. Dispite the fact Harry knew Sirius from stories, because of you and Remus, he was still a stranger after all.

“Uncle Padfoot will work just fine.” He smiled, as he ruffled Harry’s hair. That made the young teen give an awkward grin, as there was something to work with now. Uncle Moony and Uncle Padfoot. It’s a start, and you couldn’t be happier. Just staring with such love to him, with your head on his shoulder. Taking in that scent, as Remus was unable to stop his smile to.

“Harry, dear, why don’t we go out for a walk. Hm?” Remus asked him, making the boy raise a brow. Why would he want to….Oh. Right. Remus would give a gentle head nudge towards the door, and Harry was quick to get the message. Grabbing his jacket, wand, and chasing after his uncle. Not wanting to say another word, as he really rather not think about his mother’s sex life. Even if it’s with his god father.

The second the door closed, you were yanked from your chair. You gave a squeak, as you were tossed over his shoulder. Just like the old days at school. Whenever he wanted your attention, he simply tossed you over his shoulder. Forcing you to pay attention to him, as he would steal you to a private room for a discussion.

“I’m not letting you out of that bed until the head board breaks-“ He warned, as that had your heart racing. Twelve years is a long time, and there was most certainly some catching up to do. You couldn’t deny that, as you watch the stairs trail behind him. Escorting you to your once shared bedroom. Now together again.

You were plopped right on the bed, and he was on you like the hungry dog he was. Stealing you into his lips, and you couldn’t stop your moaning. It had been so long. You needed him as badly as he needed you. How you were enjoying the new long hair, and tangling your fingers into it. Needing as much skin as you could get from him.

He was more than happy to give it to you. The robe thrown aside, as he was pulling at your clothes. Not giving damn if they tore. Nothing else mattered in this moment. He wanted to fuck his wife, and by god was he going to. Twelve years, in Azkaban. He’s going to get all twelve years of pent up desire out in one night. Will your body recover? Do you even care?

“Sirius-“ You sighed, as he finally got your top off. His face buried into your chest, as he snapped your bra strap off. Tossing it aside, as he drank you up. Just feeling your skin on his, and savoring the long missed flesh against his bearded face. Feeling that freshly softened hair on your chest felt so good. Every single fiber of your existence was on fire. Felt like you might implode.

“Not a day passed by, that I wasn’t thinking of you. You, Remus, Harry, you three were what kept me sane. I knew you three were safe with each other. Waiting for me. I came back. I came back, like I promised.” He sighed, as you felt the tears on your chest. Gentle fingers played with his hair, as to try and calm him down. Comforting him.

“I always knew you would.” You felt so silly thinking Remus would ever try and help you move on. Hypocrite he would have been. Human emotions be human emotions, and they were being carnal right now. Needing to burn and burn and burn.

“Have me again, like you’ve had me before.” You asked him, as you cupped his face. Having that thick beard nuzzle into your palm, as those dark eyes stared up to yours. So much pain in his face, but comfort in his eyes. It’s a long journey to recover, but his soul was still there. His body is damaged, but a body can repair. A mind is harder, and that was the battle. A battle he won.

With a kiss to your palm, he would soon attack your lips. Growling into you, as he pulled away the rest of your clothes. Needing to devour your body. Soon marking away at your neck, your chest, your arms. If there was anything his lips could grasp, and making sure you were marked. As if to remind the world you belonged to him, and he wasn’t going anywhere. Not anymore.

“Sirius, how can you still be such a tease?” You whined, as he was grazing his teeth over your thigh. Leaving a bite on your flesh. Letting himself enjoy the flavor of the tingling flesh under his tongue.

“What? I’m an old dog. Old dogs have bad habits.” He teased, before he finally allowed you to get some attention. He really didn’t change, and you were shocked. Never thought being abused could be useful. Only a Black would have such a morbid survival skill.

Before any more depressing thoughts could fill your head, you were able to enjoy the familiar sight. Your husband between your legs, with his cock rubbing against you. The tip of his cock coming into view, whenever he rolled his hips up and down. Rubbing right on your clit, and making you whimper. Sure you’ve played with yourself, but nothing beats his touch.

You both were gripping tightly. Him on your thighs, while you grabbed his shoulders. Needing to feel him in your hands. You both needed it so badly, but both held a near fear. As if afraid that it was all a dream. Luckily, he had the nerve to test that fear. Test it, as he finally pushed in.

“Fuck, I’ve missed this-“ He moaned, as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. The way he growled, and his body just shivered. Aching, and moaning. Might spill just then, if he didn’t stop. Just savoring the feeling of being back inside of you, and how your eyes watered from pure comfort. To have your husband back.

He would lean down, and kiss away your tears, before he allowed himself to move. Just moaning for you, as his nails dug into your flesh. Marking you more, as you moaned into each others mouths. Needing to drink in every last thing you both could offer. So much to catch up on, and to make up for.

With the tender moment passing, you were soon reminded of the wild man you married. The feeling of your legs being pushed towards your shoulders, as he tried to get into you deeper. With his hands now on your ankles, as he was snapping his hips into yours. Needing to make sure you felt ever inch of him.

You loved it, and missed it, all. The feeling of your arms around his neck, and tangling your fingers into his hair. How he growled into you, and the snarls. Oh how you loved how animalistic he was for you. How he would bark and howl at the beg and call to you. Your big bad wolf.

It was all you missed. Had you in a mixture of tears, and pure desire. How he wanted to fight your tears, and kissed you. As heated as he could, to make up for the years parted. To taste you, and savor you all over again. Just the sounds of your moans, the creaking bed, and the flesh on flesh.

You didn’t know how long it lasted, but you felt him pull your lip. Sinking his teeth into it. A typical sign that he was close. A need to ground himself, to last a little longer. Oh how you missed his little habits. That thrill of pain again sent you over, as you came with him. To be as connected as possible.

You expected to get a moment to savor the after glow, but he kept true to his word. You were soon tossed onto your stomach, with the ass in the air. Of course he wanted doggy. It’s cheesey, but a favorite. Suppose one more round could be mustered.

One more became two, and three, and soon you had to chug a Pepper Up potion to keep up. You lost track of the rounds, before you were laid on your back. Soaked in sweat, and sticky from it all. Sheets hardly on the bed, and you were certain there were cracks in the wood. Hardly could breathe, but it seemed he was satisfied.

“Pretty sure you fucked a dozen kids into me.” You wheezed, as he chuckled. Enjoying a much needed cigarette, but still making sure you were comforted. Having your head in his lap, as he played with your face. Admiring all your features.

“Good.” He snickered, as you swatted at his hand. The both of you able to share a laugh, as there was a soft knock at the door. All Sirius had to do was give a sniff in the air, and he knew who it was. A whistle was given, before he grabbed a pillow for you. So you could cover up, despite the fact Remus has certainly saw you naked many times.

“Feeling better now-? Could have used a silencing charm. Had to tell Harry Kreacher was fixing a wardrobe.” Remus scoffed, with a tray of needed drinks and snacks. He would set it down on the bed side table, before joining on the bed. He deserved to catch up with Sirius to. Fine by you.

With some shifting, you were soon snuggled between the two men. Sirius still playing with your hair, as the two men remained sitting up. Keeping their voices low, so you could drift. Just able to be safe, and warm, again. Snuggling your husband, and comforted by the sound of old memories.

What a wonderful lullaby.

[sun-kissy]

sit together | s.b.

tw: angst, hurt/comfort

a/n: inspiration really struck with this one! was feeling sad about poa sirius so i decided to write this :) enjoy!

summary: sirius is back from azkaban, but things just don’t feel like they used to

“I wish I knew how to talk about it,” you murmur, gaze fixed on the tearing leather of the couch as you thumb it absentmindedly, like it were the most interesting thing in the world.

Sirius looks up from where he slouches on the other end, surprise flashing across his features. “What?”

He’s startled, really, that you decided to start a conversation. It’s something you haven’t done once in these past few days.

Sirius presumed you’d be happy to have him home, glad to be reunited with your lover after twelve long years. But ever since he returned, he’s felt a constant craving for your affection.

The truth was that he didn’t feel much different right now from how he did in Azkaban.

Hours spent tirelessly longing for you - for the touch of your soft skin beneath his calloused hands, the feel of your tender lips on his chapped ones. It was how he survived, dreaming of who was waiting for him on the other side of the cruel metal bars.

It had felt like he was going mad sometimes, crazy for you. Hands grasping at what he thought was the fabric of your dress. Fever dreams and hallucinations of soft moans, whispered promises. Loud sobs racking his body because he envisioned a glimpse of your death. But you were here, now, sitting stoic in front of him.

You weren’t the same anymore, though. You were no longer the person he had left behind when he was taken away. You weren’t his.

What had once been stolen kisses and longing stares had turned into accidental touches and pulling away. Late night heart-to-hearts about rings and cradles had been replaced with small talk, mindless rambling for the sake of conversation.

Where there had been love, there was now a barrier. And Sirius couldn’t tell if it was a mental one or a physical one; considering that you now slept with two doors separating you.

He wished he could say all of this, express the twinge of pain that tore through his chest every time he looked into your lifeless eyes. But all that he managed to croak out was, “What do you mean?”

“This,” you gesture between the two of you, finally mustering the strength to meet his steady gaze. You wish you hadn’t. The torment in his eyes was going to haunt you for the rest of your life.

Everything had changed, it was as obvious as the rising of the sun. His departure had left you like a rag doll, solemn and still as though the life had been sucked out of you. It was more than a decade ago. But you had felt the anguish grip you every minute of every day from the time he was taken away.

He had left you with so much anger, so much hatred for the circumstances you were left in. You knew deep down that it wasn’t his fault, of course it wasn’t. But you weren’t about to direct your fury at anyone else. Not at Remus, the pathetic bloke who had just lost his best friends. Not at Peter - he deserved nothing, not even your emotions.

So you channeled your rage at Sirius. Because you were so desperate to get the image of his pleading eyes out of your head, so fraught with the need to kill the longing ache that filled your body when he double-crossed your mind. You couldn’t bear the pain of loving him, so you convinced yourself to hate him. Told yourself that he killed James and Lily. He abandoned you and was never coming back.

But he was here now, looking at you like his universe began and ended with your love.

You suck in a shaky breath and continue, convincing yourself that if you didn’t have this conversation now, you never would. “I don’t know how to talk about this. About us. Nothing’s…. nothing’s the same anymore.”

Sirius’ eyebrows bunch in concern, and you don’t miss the slight quiver in his lips as he bites down on them. He breathes sharply, blinking away what looks suspiciously like tears.

“Well,” he starts, gulping down a lump in his throat as he continues to train his eyes on you. “You don’t- we don’t have to talk about it.”

“I don’t?”

“No, you don’t.”

“We can just… we can just sit together,” he blurts out, seeming puzzled at his own words for a moment as he averts his gaze to the ground.

But then his expression clears up, and he looks back into your eyes, surprisingly firm. “If you’d like to, I mean. If you’d like to sit together.”

“Sit with you?” you repeat.

“Sit with me,” he says again.

“Okay.”

Sirius lets out a tense exhale, visibly relieved. He gives you a terse yet encouraging smile, patting the spot next to him.

You take a deep breath, pressing your palms into the couch as you move yourself towards him.

The next moment, your indent in the couch is melding with his, knees touching the other’s. He extends his arm behind you, unsure. But when you don’t protest, he wraps it around you gently, pulling you into his side with all the care in the world.

“Okay?”

Uncertainty.

“Okay.”

Hope.

You feel your walls start to collapse, involuntarily melting into Sirius’ touch. This is what it used to be like, this is how you used to spend your days.

It was engraved into your very bones, the feel of his skin against yours. Etched on your soul were the hearts he used to trace with his slender fingers, the marks of where he left his kisses. Visible to no one but you and him.

He sucks in a trembling breath and you fear he’s going to start crying. Worse, you think you might just crumble into a pool of tears yourself. So you do what your heart is screaming at you to, and wrap your arms around him tenderly.

Sirius immediately tugs you impossibly closer, burying his face in your hair. You feel the yearning in his embrace, his hungry craving to hold you close. His tears wet your hair as you nestle your face in his chest.

The both of you stay like that for what feels like forever, making up for all the time you should’ve had. At one point you start to rock him as he cries, trying to pretend like his muffled sobs didn’t send daggers through your heart.

“I love you,” Sirius breathes shakily, a while after his bout of tears has passed.

Silence.

He seems to understand, seems to accept it. He gently rakes his fingers through your hair. “Do you love me?”

It’s less of a question, more of a plead. You think he might already know the answer. And you know he’d continue to love you either way.

“I don’t know,” you admit softly, feeling the guilt squeeze your chest.

You feel his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” he murmurs, a hint of heartbreak in his voice. He lays his head on your yours and closes his eyes as he squeezes you just a little bit tighter. “You don’t have to love me. Not now, not ever. But… until you do, we can just continue to sit together, you know?”

That earns a soft chuckle from you.

“Sit together,” you muse, feeling your lips start to curve upwards. Your agreement is obvious from the smile in your voice.

“Sit together,” he echoes, smiling softly.

Sirius would love you for the rest of his life if you’d let him. But until you did, he was content to just sit next to you with his arm around your shoulder and head resting on yours.

[atydblack]

"demure"

best friends dad! james potter x reader

masterlist

requests are open!

MDNI

word count: 1.2k

warnings: age gap, smut, cheating, ovb everyone is of age!

i know this is starting off a bit similar to my show you series for sirius but its gonna go in a diff direction in the next parts &lt;3

i cant stop thinking about dilf james potter

You were struggling to sleep as your boyfriend, Ron, lay unconscious next to you snoring loudly. You had been staying at the Potters for the past few days as it was summer break and everyone seemed to circle between there and the Burrow for the past few weeks.

You'd expect Ron to be filled with glee at the fact you can share a bed at the Potters, where as at his family home they are made to sleep in separate beds. However, it seemed he couldn't be less bothered.

Desperation began to overtake you as despite your best efforts, he barely wanted to sleep with you. Of course you did, occasionally, but even then it didn't satisfy you.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, you crawled out of bed to grab a glass of water as it didn't seem like you were sleeping anytime soon. Standing to your feet, you caught yourself in the mirror. A short black lacy night dress clung to your hips causing you to cringe at yourself. An attempt to spice things up with Ron only to go unnoticed as he simply poked fun at your pyjama choice.

You quietly made your way to the bathroom to grab some water, not too worried about your choice in clothes as you doubted anyone would be up at this hour.

The only noise in the hallway was your bare-feet padding down the stairs. Once you reached the dim-lit kitchen, you realised you were not alone.

James Potter was resting against the kitchen counter with a glass of red wine in has hand, wearing only a white vest and his boxer shorts.

"Y/N." He smirked, it seemed like this wasn't his first drink.

"Mr Potter," You stumbled. "I was just grabbing a glass of water."

"Can't sleep?" He chuckled. "You don't want a real drink?"

Before letting you answer, he grabbed another glass from the cupboard and poured a hefty amount of red wine into it.

"Plus, it's James." He added, passing you the glass. As he did so, you felt his eyes wander down your body causing your cheeks to grow red.

"Thank you, James."

"Sit with me." He strolled over to the lounge, placing himself down on the sofa.

You wandered over towards him, sitting down on the sofa but as far away as possible. You had never been alone with him before.

"So what's got you up at this hour?"

"I- um, I'm not sure." You mumbled. You were unsure why you were so nervous, you had known James since you and Harry became friends, but you could feel like eyes on your body.

"Ron not help you get to sleep?"

You were speechless - he was clearly intoxicated but every word he spoke shocked you more and more.

"Oh come on." He took out a box of cigarettes and lit one. You knew he smoked but had witnessed how angry Lily gets when he lights one inside. "Pretty girl like you, surely he can't keep his hands off of you."

"Not quite." You chuckled, taking a big sip.

"What do you mean?" He pushed, taking a drag of his cigarette.

"I- You know what I mean." The wine was making you feel more relaxed.

"He doesn't satisfy you?"

There was a pause as you struggled with how to reply, this was such a strange situation and you didn't want to tell him everything that you had never even spoken about to your closest friends.

"Of course he does." You responded, but it came out a bit too defensive.

James laughed as your cheeks grew red again.

You didn't want anyone to know about your sex life - it was embarrassing. But now you'd somehow given it away to your best friends dad.

"You don't sound too convincing, darling." James smirked. "Has he made you cum?"

You looked at him, confused. Made you cum? Of course you'd made him cum time and time again but you didn't think it was possible the other way round.

"He hasn't?" James raised his eyebrows. "Fuck, he's wasting you."

"What do you mean?" You almost groaned, this whole conversation was both confusing and frustrating.

"I mean look at you." He put out his cigarette and took a big swig from his glass. "Such a sexy little princess and he can't even make you cum."

Heat grew between your legs as you locked eyes. You had never seen this side of James before, and although guilt was desperately trying to come to the forefront of your emotions, you pushed at back.

"Come here." He spread his legs and patted in between them.

You obliged, moving shakily towards him.

As you sat down in his lap, back facing his chest, goosebumps covered your skin as you made contact with him.

"Want me to show you how it's supposed to be, pretty girl?"

You nodded.

"Use your words."

"Yes, James." You almost choked.

He placed a soft kiss on the back of your neck causing you to stifle a soft moan.

James' hand travelled down to your thigh, using his thumb to brush circled edging closer and closer to you.

You wanted to scream, you had never felt this intense neediness before and you could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter.

"Tell me what you want." He whispered in your ear.

"You." You let out desperately.

"Tell me."

"I want you to make me cum." You moaned out.

At your demand, his fingers moved towards your lace panties, rubbing circles through them.

"Fuck, princess, you're already wet for me?"

You couldn't let out anything other than a moan. He continued to rub circles, his pace growing quicker and quicker. You were already close to your high and he hadn't even removed your underwear yet.

The combination of his wet kisses on your neck and his big hands circling your clit caused you to reach your high, legs shaking at the sheer ecstacy.

"You came already, baby?" James chuckled. "I haven't even started yet."

Before you had the chance to catch your breath, he ripped your underwear off of you and pushed a finger inside you.

You couldn't stop moaning, he were worried at the amount of noise you were making but that thought quickly passed once James gripped your throat, restricted both noise and your breathing.

Somehow this turned you on even more, worried you would cum for a second time in only a few minutes.

He pushed two more fingers inside you, fucking you with force at an unnatural pace.

"Your pussy is so tight, sweet girl." He groaned. "I wanna feel you cum around my fingers this time"

You couldn't believe how good he made you feel, giving you just the right amount of pleasure and pain as he continued to choke you.

Your head flew back, resting on his chest as you reached your high for a second time. Your pussy clenched around his fingers as you continued to moan.

Once you'd finished your climax, he pulled his fingers from you and brought them up to his mouth, sucking your cum from them.

Your brain was still hazy and you wanted him more than anything you'd ever wanted in your life.

Sliding off of him onto the floor in front, you turned to him. You tried to pull down his boxers but he gently grabbed your wrists.

"As much as I'd like to fuck you until we both can't walk, Y/N." James chuckled. "I fear we might wake my wife."

---

part two

there will be many parts to this !!! aiming to do part two tomorrow

let me know if you liked it and remember my requests are open :)

[whorediaries-09]

Hand under my sweatshirt 🌿- hiii I was hoping I could get this prompt with Sirius black x reader with a breeding kink? And maybe something where he’s just soft cuz readers had a long week?? Thank youuuu only write this if you want to and feel comfortable ofc!

hello lovebug <3 i have seen all your requests, and i promise i'll get to all of them. i've just had a stressful week, i couldn't get to them earlier i'm sorry please forgive me xoxo.

anyways, i hope you like this :)

now i'm covered in you

pairing(s)- sirius black x reader warning(s)- 18+ content. (let me know if i should add more) a/n- sirius motherfucking black definitely has a breeding kink 😵‍💫

ps-set during ootp. sirius and reader have a established relationship.

masterlist fall event rules

his tongue grazes at your clit, the ends of his choppy hair tickling your inner thighs. his finger curls inside you, and you buck your hips with the nerves building inside you.

'faster, please,' you say. he hums against you, the vibrations lighting you up into a fire of lust. his tongue laps upon your cunt, his finger simultaneously curling at your spot simultaneously. your hand flies at his hair, rotating your hips against his mouth as you feel the coil in your stomach on the verge of an escape.

'i want to taste you,' he croons against your cunt. you let out a moan, the grip on his hair tightening as you finally let go, your release coating his face.

'shit-' you breath, your chest heaving. sirius emerges from between your legs, his chin glistening with your juices. he smirks as helps you sit, his lips interlocking with yours. he bites your lip, as you moan into his mouth, your hands interlocking behind his neck. you taste yourself on his tongue, as he slides his tongue into your mouth, tantalizing a dance.

his cock prods at your clitoris and you moan,

'please,' sirius bites your lip for the last time before leaving your lips,

'yes darling. i'm gonna fuck you so good.' he promises, positioning his cock at your cunt. you buck your hips at the contact. he hides his face at the nape of your neck, slowly sliding in, letting you open for him slowly. you breath in, tucking your lip between your teeth.

'shit,' he gasps as your walls convulse around him. your nails dig into his back, as he slowly moves out of the warmth of your cunt. he wraps your legs around his waist, pushing himself inside you.

'harder,' you say, your eyes stained with tears of pleasure. he groans, biting your neck, sucking upon the skin of your neck.

'harder yes. i'm gonna fill you up,' he says. your nails dig harder into his porcelain skin.

'gonna fuck you so hard, give you all my babies,' he whimpers as your walls grip his cock at his lustful words. he moans, his hair tickling your back as you pulsate around his cock, the hot coil of orgasm bubbling inside you. his finger circles around your clit, and you almost cry out with pleasure.

'oh fuck sirius,' you groan. he rams into your harder. he takes a deep breath, smelling your scent which drives him into a high.

'gonna impregnate this little pussy so good,' he says, as you buck your hips, breaking down as you cum on his cock. he growls, releasing himself inside you. you feel his cum slide down your thigh, as he watches. he traces his trail of release back inside your cunt, as you sit on the silk of your bedsheet, the stress of your week long forgotten. he grins, his signature sirius black grin.

'now you're covered in me,'

[milunalupin]

helloooo, 33centaurrii here! Decided to ask anonymously (though announcing myself beforehand defeats the entire point of being anonymous) because secondary blogs can't be used to send asks. I think that's rubbish and a hassle and it's borderline criminal that Tumblr hasn't found a way to optimize that in several years from its conception

I really liked your post-azkaban Sirius and was wondering if you could write something regarding him escaping Azkaban and reuniting with reader ...the catch is that he reunites with them in his animagus form — his fur is matted and growing in odd ways, he looks and somehow smells like he's contacted some kind of disease and he's panting like crazy as a consequence of his sedentary lifestyle in Azkaban. Reader doesn't know this! Heck, reader thinks he's someone else's emaciated stray dog :')

How angsty or how funny or fluffy this goes is totally free reign to you! I've been thinking about adult Sirius way too much for wayyyy too long that I just HAD to request it

— 🌿

ty for the request ily <3 i hope you like it !

— homecoming

post azkaban!sirius x reader ★ 1k words

With a wave of your wand, the sign on the door turned from 'open' to 'closed' and the potion shop was closed for the night. You did a quick walkthrough one more time to make sure you weren't forgetting anything, and stocked up on a few potions that you were running low on at home. Once more you flicked your wand about and the lights in the shop were off. You walked out the back door and locked up, buttoning up your coat as you started your walk home. The night was chilly but the skies were clear, allowing you to see your favorite star, the brightest in the sky.

The walk to your home wasn't terribly far, and you quite enjoyed the peaceful walks down the empty trail. Suddenly a high pitched whine stopped you in your tracks, your eyes going to a wiggling bush on the side of the road. You crouched down and got closer, just to find a bloody lump of dark matted fur, it's tongue lolling out with heavy pants.

"Oh Merlin, look at you! You poor thing, can I please help you?" you gasped, tears already forming as you looked at the weary dog. You held your hand out near it's snout to let it sniff you first, but the dog pushed its face into you hand, whining as it used all its strength to lick your arm.

"Where's your owner, sweetheart?" You frowned, only receiving another whine in response. You looked around for someone who might be looking for him, but the village had been practically empty the past few hours. The dog nudged your hand again, his dry tongue scraping against your fingertips.

"Hold on tight puppy, sorry but this may feel weird." You apologized, wrapping an arm around the animal as you whipped out your wand and quickly apparated home.

The second you arrived in your flat, you rushed around to collect your healing supplies, dropping them in front of the dog, whose eyes drooped tiredly. You were lucky you saw him when you did, his injuries were terrible and he looked like he was going to pass out any moment.

He had gashes and cut all over him, some rashes and boils the result of intentional poisoning. You muttered a quick Reparifors to revert any poison in his system, the dog letting out a large sigh and few coughs. You got up and ran to and from the kitchen to set a bowl of water next to him to drink, so you could get started on healing his other injuries while he rehydrated. You dabbed a cloth with some Murtlap Essence, gently pressing it to his larger cuts, mumbling apologies as he cried underneath you.

You managed to get the dog onto the couch on you were done with the initial healing and laid a blanket over him. His larger wounds were dressed and he looked a little better after a few bowls of water. You gave him a few scratches under his chin and picked up his bowl before walking into the kitchen to refill it. Walking back into the living room you stopped dead, the metal bowl falling from your hands and clattering to the ground, water spilling onto your rug.

On your couch sat a naked Sirius Black, the blanket thankfully laying over his lap. You stood frozen with your eyes wide, your heartbeat picking up as he sat there just staring back at you, anxiously biting at his chapped lips.

"What are you- I don't- How-" you sputtered, your breaths getting quicker as your eyes watered, unable to look away from the man in front of you. He was supposed to be in Azkaban, for Godric's sake, what was he doing here?

"Hey hey, slow down poppet, take a deep breath for me, will you?" Sirius was at your side in a second, one hand holding the blanket around his bruised hips while the other hovered over your shoulder, his tired eyes staring down into your own. "You're alright."

"I- Are you alright? How are you here, Sirius?" you sniffled, raising your hand towards his face, fingertips lightly brushing over his cheekbones as you tried but failed to hold back a sob. "Merlin you're real, you're actually here."

His arm came around you in an instant, his own body shaking as he pulled you close to him, pressing kisses into your hair. "Oh please don't cry, lovely girl."

Sirius held onto you until you became too tired to cry anymore, guilty and ashamed of the man - or rather, dog - he came back to you as. It wasn't easy escaping, no it was complete and utter hell. But the first place he thought of to go was to you, how could it not be. You had been the one to dry his tears the summer after his little brother had surrendered to the pressure of his parents and received the Dark Mark, the one who held him late at night in the astronomy tower when the letters with the Black family seal were too much to handle on his own. Of course, you were just being a good friend, maybe too good. Sirius could've never confessed his true feelings back then, he didn't know if he was stable enough to hold a relationship, and he wasn't going to risk losing you in trying, so he kept quiet. But twelve years later, your hands were still just as kind and gentle holding him, his tears dripping from the tip of his nose onto your head that held the most beautiful and purest mind he knew.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You whispered, teary eyes looking up at him.

He sighed softly and shook his head. "Tomorrow love, I think we're both a little tired after tonight."

You nodded and led him to your bedroom, where you lent him some clothes to sleep in and pulled the bed covers back, sliding in and patting the space next to you. He slipped in beside you and let out a blissful sigh, closing his eyes for a moment to relish in the silkiness of your sheets and the plushness of your pillow. The two of you laid facing each other, studying the other's appearance. You reached for his hand and squeezed lightly, a sleepy smile on your face.

"Welcome home, Sirius."

[postazkabansiriussupremacy]

Surprise. Post Azkaban!Sirius x Mom!Reader

Before leaving the country, Sirius makes a stop to see how his former love is doing. Turns out, you have a daughter who looks strangely like him…

Set shortly after PoA

Part Two

From across the street and hiding behind some trees, Sirius watches your home. He's only been here for a short time, but looking through the windows he's gotten a few glimpses of you and what seems to be your child.

Sirius can’t pretend to be surprised that you moved on from him. Sure, you two had a great thing going on, but there was no legitimate reason for you to remain loyal to Sirius after he went to Azkaban. Just like everyone else, you have no idea of Sirius’s innocence.

You? An intelligent, fun, beautiful woman with your whole life ahead of you? It’s no surprise you found someone else to settle down with.

Your life didn't end just because Sirius’s did. You deserve to live a happy life, even if Sirius didn't get to be a part of it.

But still… no matter how many times Sirius tries to rationalize the situation, he can't ignore the way his chest tightens at the thought of you having a family with another man.

He wants to be happy for you, but it's hard when he feels so sorry for himself.

Sirius gets his first real look at you after about an hour of watching, and Merlin… things haven't changed much. You're still just as beautiful as the day he met you.

Sirius watches, silent and still as a statue as you walk further away from your house and closer to where Sirius is in hiding. Your hair is shorter than he remembers, and perhaps a little darker in color. It looks good on you.

You stop walking once you reach the sidewalk and Sirius assumes you're about to disapparate. Maybe off to work? He wonders what you do now. Hopefully, you're not still working at the Ministry; he knows you hated it there.

Just as you're about to disappear, the front door of your home flies open and a young girl runs out after you, shouting, “Mum! Mum!!!”

Sirius has a hard time focusing on what the girl is saying afterward. His eyes widen and it feels like his heart stops beating.

The girl looks to be about Harry’s age, perhaps a little younger. She looks exactly like you—undeniably so— but there's something else. Your hair doesn't curl like that, and your eyes aren't so strikingly grey.

It can’t be.

Loose curly hair and grey eyes aren’t such uncommon traits. Maybe you have a type and your husband looks vaguely similar to Sirius.

The only thing is… Sirius doesn't see any jewelry on your hands, much less a band around your ring finger. And Sirius has yet to see a man walking past the windows of your home.

…

It can't be.

The longer Sirius looks at the girl, the more he questions if that's your nose or his nose. It looks a little too long to be yours. Those high cheekbones don't match yours either.

The girl looks to be eleven or twelve, and if you were in the early stages of pregnancy when Sirius was incarcerated almost thirteen years ago, then…

Holy shit.

The girl is his. She has to be his. The only way she’s not his is if you were cheating on Sirius with someone who looks just like him, or if you hooked up with someone who looks just like him shortly after Sirius was locked up. Both options seem a lot less likely than the girl just belonging to Sirius.

Holy shit!

Sirius stares as the girl looks up at you and smiles. Her K9s are slightly more pronounced than the rest of her teeth—again, just like Sirius’s!

At first glance, the girl was an exact copy of you, but the more Sirius looks, the more details of himself he finds within her.

He can't believe it; Sirius has a child. A little girl.

Only she’s not so little. She’s at least of age to be a Hogwarts student, and Sirius knows nothing about her. Not even her name.

He doubts you gave the girl his daughter his surname. Sirius Black is widely known as Voldemort’s ‘right-hand man’; it wouldn’t be in her best interest for everyone to think she’s the daughter of a highly-ranked Death Eater.

Sirius sighs bitterly, that heavy feeling in his chest not going away anytime soon. The mother of his child and his daughter think he's nothing more than a cold-blooded killer. A traitor.

He wonders if either of you will ever know the truth, or if his daughter even knows who her father is. Likely, you never told her, thinking it's for the best if she doesn't know.

After a few minutes of talking, his daughter waves you goodbye and starts making her way back to the house. Before disapperating, you call out to her “Estelle! Don't forget to feed the cat!”

She waves her hand in acknowledgment, not looking back at you. “Yes, mum.”

Estelle. Sirius grins in a happy surprise. Latin for star.

Link to Part Two

[cursedmoon-doll13]

Blackhearted

(Sirius Black x Reader)

Cw: Noncon, Angst, Smut, Afab Reader, Dark!Sirius, PnV Sex, Somnophilia, Unprotected Sex, Fingering, Crying, Forced Orgasm, Tender But Nasty™️, References to Alcohol Abuse, Reader has head + pubic hair, this got kinda bleak and depressing

READ WITH CAUTION

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: 12 Grimmauld Place is a miserable home.

But for now, it is yours. A lost and vulnerable soul, you find refuge in the owner of the house; a man as troubled as yourself. Unbeknownst to you, he’s sunken his teeth in far deeper; clutching onto you like a lifeline, and the dark, harrowing isolation of winter may drive him to commit acts unforgivable…

Ao3 || Masterlist || Dividers by @/saradika

In mid-February, it’s so cold, so desolate, it reminds him of sharp, icy fingers, clamping down on— His childhood home, decrepit with neglect and age, is the last place Sirius ever hoped to return to. It’s lost, crumbling into undignified ruins, deteriorating into filth. With his pest of a house elf still clinging to the old family values, it’s properly gone to the dogs, and he’d gladly let them pick off the carcass. 

But now you’re hiding alongside him - not by choice - you’ve taken it upon yourself to try and ‘fix it up.’ Sirius almost scoffs at the mere thought of it— At you, whose nose wrinkles distastefully at the grime and mould that gracefully adorns his kitchen. You don’t understand that the disease has progressed far beyond the point of recovery. It’s everywhere; it’s in the air you breathe, in the walls, in the carpet. It’s lurking inside the very infrastructure, festering like cancerous growth. The Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, haunted by its rotting opulence: the decaying decor, the cursed, priceless artefacts, the tattered, hateful portraits, courtesy of mum. 

Sirius, who has long since forgotten the luxury of owning his own clothes, wraps himself in the same mothball ridden finery his father died in. Sometimes he feels— He’s eaten alive by the fabric. By vestiges of the past. It still stinks of stale drink, and on nights like these, Orion’s son glares down at the bottom of an empty wine bottle, and thinks that he might be following in his footsteps after all.

On a night like this, the aged floorboards squeak under his heels as he prowls the dilapidated halls. Sirius’ stalking route leads to you, as it usually does, far past midnight. Your bedroom door is sealed tightly shut - probably to keep the heat in - but you never lock it. As if he isn’t dangerous. 

Gripping the weathered knob, he twists it, and lets himself in. The dim, yellowy glow of the gaslamp bolted to the corridor wall is his only light, flickering as it pours into the musty guest room he’s lent you. Sirius lingers on the precipice, his fingers still curled around the handle, sobering up rapidly. 

Blinking slowly, he looks down at you. 

You’re lying on your side, both arms grasping the pillow, dressed in that novelty pyjama set (‘to ward off the draught,’ was the unspoken function of it) Tonks had gifted you for Christmas; a sort of consolation prize. Greatest sympathies, to prepare you for the sordid husk you’ll now inhabit— With him, no less, a man you thought at first to be a killer.

And you, well… You’ve been left skittish from whatever you’re on the run from. He reckons that’s why you’ve latched onto him so powerfully, hoping this unredeemed convict will see fit to protect you from the isolation and the horrors. To help fill the long stretches of time when it’s just been the both of you to keep each other company. Sirius can’t deny his own strong attachment towards you. 

Your presence is comforting, and he’s fallen deeply. Too deeply. It’s why he so often finds himself standing here, watching over you. Sirius envies you, the peaceful sleeper. But he also covets you; if only you’d stay and lay beside him, to heal wounds never spoken of… But he doesn’t know how to ask. 

Silently, he crosses the boundary. 

Rising over your unconscious form, he lifts the quilt, a heavy, lumpy thing, and tentatively rests his knee on the mattress. You sleep peacefully on, even as the rusty old bed-springs squeak underneath him. Sirius slides his exhausted body in behind you, and the dark mass of his own scraggly black hair spills over the cushion. For a moment, he lies there, unmoving and quiet. Even at this safe, chaste distance, your body heat, radiating off you in gradual waves, is enough to soothe the permanent chill that’s seeped into his bones… Sirius can’t resist. He shifts, before placing his forefinger over your throat. 

Sirius can feel your pulse, throbbing with blood; you’re a real, flesh and blood human, warm and alive. Merlin, he’s been deprived for so long, a strong vein feels like it’s a lifeline. This is all he’s ached for, but— No... No. He’s already overstepped a line, one he shouldn’t have ever— He needs to stop, he needs to leave, now, before this all goes too far and he ruins it; ruins you, as he knows he inevitably will. 

But he doesn’t. Sirius’ breath catches in his throat as he tilts his chin ever-so-slightly, and he presses his cold mouth against your exposed nape. You twitch, but do not stir. Sirius licks his dry lips and swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, as he nudges down the fleeced collar of your pyjama shirt with his thumb. The slope of your neck is covered in fine, delicate hairs, and he can’t help but smile affectionately down at you. Your defenceless state is sweetly endearing. To be so close to you like this, almost holding you, tender as lovers. 

Sirius hesitates, then, squeezing his eyes shut as he endures the lurch of churning revulsion in his gut (he shouldn’t be doing this, he shouldn’t—), he leans forward and plants a string of wet kisses over your bare flesh. So human, so vulnerable… You twitch again, shivering as the ticklish brush of his whiskers rubs lightly over your naked skin. Shame burns like acid in his stomach; but his need for you burns brighter, hotter than fire now, all-consuming… He heaves a jagged sigh, and, unable to stop himself, drags the starving flat of his tongue over your neck, lapping up hungry stripes of perspiration. Sirius tightens his grip on you and shudders with relief— He’s finally quenched his thirst, if only a little. Your intoxicating scent, your taste… 

He’s stolen things, too, before this; he’s not proud of it, but he’s done it. It’s convenient enough to blame it on Kreacher, who hoards all sorts of objects in the first place… What is the difference, really, between the Black family heirlooms and soiled knickers from the wicker basket? No, It hasn’t been so hard to convince you it was Kreacher; to lie and to fib— his old, senile house elf is simply a raging kleptomaniac… You trust him so much… And now Sirius has gone and betrayed that trust entirely. 

Merlin, he needs to stop, he needs to… This should be enough… No, it’s not enough… It’s never enough, he’s barely touched you… Sirius groans feebly into the nape of your neck, slipping the palm of his hand under your nightshirt, desperate for your sacred, lifesaving heat, just a little bit— And then he’ll stop, immediately— just a tiny bit more… You shiver once more, twitching repeatedly as the pads of his fingertips skim over your stomach, still asleep… Sirius brushes his lips over your throat again, as he locks you in wiry arms, inching up your shirt, exposing you to the dark and cold. He traces the slats of your ribs, searching further, until he comes to knead coyly at your breast, teasing your nipple. He dips, finding the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, thumping robustly… Proof of life. 

And you’re definitely real, aren’t you? Not a hallucination, not some illusion… He’s sleepless for the nightmares, but the dreams are always worse, because they remind Sirius of everything he can’t have, not ever again… But he can have you. This stray thought, forceful and insidious, leaks into the dark recesses of his brain. Yes, He can have you— It’s his house, his rules, isn’t it? 

Fuck, he’s disgusting. The realisation of what he’d just conceived of, even momentarily, assaults him with a new stab of remorse. Sirius flinches away, pulling his offending hand out of your pyjamas; but the damage has already been done. By now, he’s pressed flush against you, leeching off your comforting warmth, and his dick is straining tightly against his trousers. Merlin… He’s perverse. 

He throws his forearm over his eyes, blinding himself. Sirius intended for this to be a wholesome encounter, to be sweet and innocent. And now… Have all those years of degradation truly rotted him to the core? Is this what he’s become now? A lustful wretch? This has gone too far, too far— He should leave— 

But now, Sirius has known your touch, and it’s embedded itself parasitically into his mind. He’s swiftly hurtling into addiction; he can’t settle for mere table scraps— To retreat with his tail between his legs, only to find a cold and lonely bed, would be unbearable... Sirius rattles a breath, grasping onto that frayed rope of inherited entitlement he’d meant to cut off a decade ago— He deserves this one thing, surely, after a life of torment… Right? 

You twitch again, mumbling incoherently. Sirius grimaces. He needs to be careful… You might be a heavy sleeper, but he’s already disturbed you too much. If you wake up screaming… He wouldn’t like to think of what he might do. But he’ll stop— He’ll stop after this, he swears it to himself, licking his lips, feeling harder and hungrier than ever. 

Sirius’ forearm props up your leg for him to gain enough access, spreading your thighs open. It’s awkward, but he manages. He tugs down the waistband of your pyjama bottoms, just a bit, so he can touch you, feel you so close to him… Sirius’ hand brushes over a soft tuft of your pubic hair, and he twitches a faint smile… So endearingly vulnerable, before dipping his fingers into your pussy. 

You’re not aroused, but the heat of your core is enough to satisfy him, if only temporarily. Sirius hasn’t done anything like this for a long time; it feels unfamiliar, like all human contact does. He nudges away the curls, tracing your labia, before recalling the shape and form of it, and gently rubbing your clitoris. Fondness, mixed in with his sickening shame, rushes into him, and he presses his lips to your nape again, pleading and soothing like an apology. 

Then, Sirius bites his tongue, justifies himself with the excuse of repaying you with sweet dreams, and pushes his index finger deeper inside your pussy. He hums quietly, indulging in your little twitches, the way your walls flutter around him. It’s not particularly romantic to pleasure you without receiving consent, but lying back-to-chest in the darkness, planting scorching kisses down your neck, he can use his mind to fill in the gaps. Easing out his intruding hand, Sirius tastes the heady flavour of your slick— Merlin. He licks his fingers greedily, drenching them in spit, before plunging them back into your warm cunt, spreading wetness over your folds. 

You let out a sleepy whimper at his touch, and he pauses, going completely stiff with alarm. But— But you haven’t woken up… And now he’s uncontrollable, beyond all morality, relishing in your soft, breathless gasps as he toys with your clit, his damp fingers sliding easily in and out of your pussy. You moan faintly, and the noise vibrates straight to his cock. He’s throbbing, now... Groaning, he forces down his guilt and remorse, discarding them as trite, worthless things. You’re enjoying it, aren’t you? Though you’re still fast asleep— Yes, maybe you’ve hoped for this all along… Secretly. Secretly. Of course, you’ve just been too embarrassed to admit it, but that’s fine… Right now, you’re all his. 

But that’s still not enough. 

Sirius knows what he truly needs; to bury himself inside of you, to merge with you entirely, to steal your warmth for himself— This aching desire, it’s wrong, so revoltingly wrong, but so is he; the entire expanse of flesh covering his body feels like prison, mired in filth, and he’ll never be clean again… He only wishes you could alleviate his pain— Oh, but you can, Sirius will find solace in your heat even if he has to take it from you. He grinds his palm against his temple as he decides. He fights it, but his selfishness wins… Yes, he needs it, needs you— Fuck, he’s about to do something unforgivable, commit a genuine offence; but he’ll make it up to you, of course he will— 

Sirius carefully shuffles down your pyjama bottoms until they’re bunched up around your ankles, followed by your moist panties. He shifts, now painfully hard and weeping in his trousers, and allows your thigh to fall momentarily to unbutton them and release his erection. Rigid and leaking precum, his dick falls over your ass. He readjusts his position on the bed and strokes himself roughly, before hooking his forearm around your leg and lifting it. You jerk unceremoniously and mumble, stirring, but he ignores you— He’s too close, he’s gone too far now… Gritting his teeth, Sirius guides his cock into you, finding you elusive and slippery in the dark, but— The slick of your folds sliding along his length feels heavenly. Sirius licks his lips, smearing precum over your inner thighs, and finally enters you. 

He stifles a raspy moan into your neck. The hug of your tight, wet heat is almost overwhelming— Shuddering, he wholly eases himself inside you. Merlin, you feel so perfect around him… Sirius, gasping rapturously, begins to move, savouring every long, torturous drag against your gummy walls. You’re rousing, now, slurring confused murmurs— “What, what’s going on, hm…”

Sirius doesn’t miss the flutter of lashes, a sharp intake of breath— But he continues, regardless, thrusting in slow, tender arcs. Flinching, you let out a strangled, high-pitched noise, and that’s how Sirius knows you’re truly awake— But he’ll make it up to you, he will— he spreads your thighs wide, to penetrate further, sucking affectionate bites into your neck as he ravishes your quivering body. You tremble and shriek, and your panicked struggling fills him with guilty regret. But he needs this now, he needs you now, he’s been alone for too long— And he’s not going to stop until he’s finished taking you… Feverish, Sirius’ other forearm digs underneath the pillow you’re clutching onto, white-knuckled. He tightens his grip on you before he sinks in deeper, spearing into your intimate core

You whimper, spasming involuntarily. Sirius rumbles with approval, his lips still latched onto your throat. He grabs your thigh firmly, bracing himself against the old headboard. He growls and snaps his hips upward, hitting that delicious spot over and over, trying to elicit more of those sweet noises from you. Even if you’re being frustratingly reticent - too shy, he pretends - you’re still unable to muffle your cries, twitching and writhing in his relentless grasp.

The bed creaks noisily as he hastens his pace, showering wet kisses on your rapidly bruising flesh. His movements are heated and urgent now, growing increasingly desperate— Now he’s inside you, he must fill you utterly— He longs to feel alive with you, slipping a hand down towards where you join together and connect, feeling the way his cock effortlessly slides in and out of your pussy. He dips further to rub harshly at your clit, and you whine, arching. Sirius strokes you mercilessly, his wrist cramping from the awkward positioning— 

But it doesn’t matter, you’re spurring him on with your ecstatic moans, croaky with tears. He doesn’t let up, teasing in sloppy, frantic circles as he bucks into you, revelling in the stickiness of your skin against his; the lewd, wet sound of flesh-on-flesh is obscene. Sirius groans hoarsely, his hips jerking and stuttering as your cunt squeezes around his dick with his every forceful thrust— You are enjoying this…    

Fuck, he is too— Hot pleasure jolts up his spine like the tightening of a knot; and you, crying out with loud whimpers as your spongy insides clench and squeeze around him— Sirius can’t take it anymore. He forgoes gentleness, pounding into your cunt with beastly intensity. You choke out a sob, lurching away from him, but he overpowers and holds you down, still abusing your sensitive clit— He’s going to fuck you until you cum, whether you want it or not— And his hungry mouth returns to sink livid, red marks into your neck, teeth grazing your artery. Something in the wooden bed frame cracks ominously— 

But he ignores it, his breathing growing laboured and husky as he slams his hips into you, again and again, forcing you to whine until your voice breaks. You’re shaking violently in his grip— He can sense it, and you’re close, so close— He’s getting sloppier; rapidly approaching orgasm, and your reactions are boiling his blood, whipping up a primal frenzy in his brain— Sirius pinches your clit, and you climax. 

Your euphoric moan chokes into a loud sob. Sirius growls at the way you clench around him, and pins you down with his body weight. His hand slips and pushes your leg up high, fucking you harder still through your orgasmic tremors— He’s following right behind you, on the cusp— You’re impossibly tight—

Merlin, you’re so damn tight— Sirius barely remembers to— He pulls himself out with a heavy groan, and his seed spills messily over the inside of your thigh. Hazy static pours over him, smothering the guilt, the emptiness… As it gradually tapers out, he feels the absence of your heat, of your closeness, and it pangs like the pain of starvation. It takes a moment for him to recover, lying beside you, his face buried in the crook of your neck. Then, he pushes himself up onto his elbow. 

Panting, Sirius’ damp hair clings to his forehead, stinging his eyes. He wipes it, and fog clears, revealing only desecration.

As if murdered, you lie very still— Or try to, but your breathing is ragged and uneven. You’re glistening with orgasmic sweat, chest heaving as he rests your trembling leg back onto the mattress. You jolt, as if hiccuping, still wracked with sobs. Sirius’ heart aches for you— Merlin, no, what has he done?— He wants to take this moment back, but it’s too late now. The only fix he can think of is practical, like ridding a crime scene of evidence… 

Sirius pulls out his wand, flicking shakily, evaporating his cum, but the scent of your lovemaking still lingers, thick in the air. With as much dignity as he’s able to grant you, he tugs your pyjamas and knickers up your hips. He tucks himself in and buttons his trousers, swimming in post-climax numbness. For a few minutes, he resumes his vigil behind you, as if he’d never done it at all. But you’re colder and distant; farther away than he’s ever felt you. Sighing, he gently strokes your hair. You don’t flinch or shiver away from his touch, but lie still, perfectly still… Your tear-stained cheek is still stuck to the damp patch on your pillow. Sirius passes over it deliberately. You’ve been asleep this entire time, blissfully unaware… That’s a lie he’ll peddle for both of your sakes, until this all melts safely into a nightmare.

It’s agony to tear himself away from your warmth, but Sirius knows he’s ruined everything by violating you, and lingering will only hurt you more. He presses one final, adoring kiss to your neck, yearning to embrace you, then slips wordlessly out of bed.

To forbid himself, he uses magic to bolt the lock.

Morning brings clarity. 

He walks into the kitchen, and the stone tiles clack under his boots, echoing, echoing… You’re there, also, preparing a slow, tedious breakfast.

The silence is heavy. Sirius wants to break it, but the quiet feels impenetrable; a chasm of his own design. For a moment, he frowns, looming uneasily over the dining table, aggravated by the clinking of the jar as you spread jam on your toast, eyes downcast.

Then, he pulls out a rickety chair and sits down. 

You don’t smile at him today. You don’t return his probing gaze. You knife up more slimy jam— Too much, now, and the bread has gone soggy. 

If you’d only burst into tears, he’d gladly take you in his arms to hold you now. Sirius could be your solitary comfort, as you have been his… Only, your new, withdrawn, gloomy state unnerves him. His face darkens… Your bond has truly been broken.

But there’s something else, too. 

Remorse gnawed his flesh until daybreak, and was scarred over by something cruel and hard, burrowing gruesomely inside him like an infection.

He could think of it this way: returning to his old childhood home has done very, very strange things to him. Yes… That’s it. Sirius has never had anything so warm and lovely in this place... And indeed, he’s spent much of his life out of control and powerless… But he does have power over you. It occurs to him abruptly. He does have power over you.  

Sirius leans back in his chair with a squeak. His guilt, hot and shameful, broils fiercely in his gut, but it intertwines with a kind of grim satisfaction. 

It’s his house, his rules… 

So why shouldn’t he have you?

[firsttimewriter92]

Everything Black Part 8

This is a Post Azkaban Sirius Black x fem! reader (Muggle) fic I came up with. This is the first time I´m writing something like this and posting it, so let me know if you have any suggestions as to how I can improve my writing. I am not a native speaker so please keep that in mind :) Please, please don´t copy my work.

Warnings: Minor DNI !!! Smut, cursing, angst, PiV, canon typical violence, panik, fluff. I couldn´t help myself. He didn´t deserve what he got, damnit!!

Word count: 6.503

Summary: After the innitial christmas bliss, something happens that shakes your whole existence. Something that has the power to changing everything

My lovely readers. I really need to apologise for making you wait so, so long for this chapter. I was not in the right headspace for Sirius at all and if I´d finished this fic in that state, none of us would have enjoyed it. Thankfully I found my way back to this fic which is so dear to my heart and I sincerely hope that I did it justice with this last chapter. THANK YOU ALL for reading and encouraging me to keep going.

There are some Sirius asks in my inbox so I´m not quite finished with this lovely chap ;) Please enjoy

He looked at you with glowing cheeks and said “My room is closer. Is that alright?” You nodded while a grin split your face. “Yes, absolutely” you said. He slowed down, suddenly pressing you to a door to your right. “Good,” he spoke in your ear. “We´re here.” Kissing you passionately he reached behind you and opened the door. He walked you through it without breaking the kiss, kicking the door close again behind him.

You didn´t even have much time to look around his room when your back hit the closed door again. Not being able to complain in the slightest, you enjoyed Sirius´ hands grabbing hard onto your hips, pressing his whole body into yours. Your hands lay on his chest and you could feel his erratic heartbeat even through all the layer of clothing. Clothing…annoying. With nimble movements your fingers fumbled with the golden buttons on his vest. His lips on yours stretched a little into a smirk. He pulled you off the door slightly and hummed delighted as he bit your lip slightly. “Eager, are we?” he whispered against them and slowly moved his hands from your hips up to encase your ribcage. You hummed with a smile.

“My love,” you said and pushed the vest over his shoulders and off. “This whole evening I couldn’t stop thinking about this right here.” Your hands slithered into the open collar or his dress-shirt, gently stroking your forefinger over the huge tattoo adorning his sternum. Sirius´ eyes were already black as night as he gazed down at you with fiery desire. As an answer to your statement, Sirius lifted his hands and lay them onto your shoulders. His head tilted slightly to the side as he moved the delicate silver straps that were holding up your dress to the side. Torturously slow you felt them slither over your skin until they fell over your arms. The dress fit you so perfectly that it didn’t fall immediately.

Impatience was raging in your veins as you pushed at Sirius´ chest and with a light laugh he tumbled backwards until his knees hit his bed. He sat down without breaking eye contact with you. His hands were at your waist in an instant as he looked up at you appreciatively. You grinned down at him and lightly touched his bearded cheek before taking a step back. For a moment he looked bewildered but then yours hands went to your dress and he quickly sat up straighter. His eyes didn’t seem to know where to look. They flitted from your collarbone to your chest, down to your waist and up to your face again.

Slowly your hands pushed the beautiful green and silver dress down, exposing  the black lace he had requested and you were more than happy to have granted his wish. The way his whole body seemed to vibrate with life and desire the moment the dress hit the floor was everything you ever wanted to see. A low groan escaped his lips as you stood in front of him. “A vision” he said breathily. “C´mere” he stretched out a hand which you took with a grin. He bit his lip and tucked you forward. Without a second to spare his lips connected with the swell of your breasts as you wound your arms around his neck. Sirius´ tongue darted across your skin, tickling, tasting and exploring the expanse of your chest.

You closed your eyes and buried your fingers in his hair, effectively removing the hair tie and letting the bouncy, shiny mass of black curls flow freely between your fingers. Sirius groaned again, gently bit the lace material and tucked it out the way. Seemingly just as impatient as you his hands moved quickly to your back, fumbled for a second and smoothly pulled off your bra. “Who´s eager now?” you asked cheekily but were quickly sucking in a breath through your teeth when you felt his wet lips around your already pointy nipple. You got no answer from him.

Sirius´ mind was completely overcome by you, the taste of you, the essence of you and your presence. The way you melted into his touch, your subtle little noises of pleasure and just the over all fact that you were there with him. He carefully licked around your nipple just to hear your heavy intake of air through and open hanging mouth and he suddenly wished he had one more pair of eyes and hands. Letting go of your chest he looked up at your face and was met with a sight that he could only compare to a renaissance painting. Your head was thrown back ever so slightly, your chest was partially glistening from his saliva, your mouth open and eyes half closed and heavy.

When you couldn’t feel his lips on you anymore you were about to protest but soon felt his hands on your back move. One arm snaked around you waist while a wide palm roughly grabbed your ass and pulled you into his lap quite unceremoniously. When your eyes snapped to his however you saw the playful mischief in them and grinned right back. Wiggling in his lap to get comfortable he hissed slightly and shook his head. Adjusting you on his lap himself, Sirius´ palms made contact with the lace around the plump meat of your ass.

“You feel incredible, do you know that, little dove?” he asked lowly. You nodded your head gently. “You might have mentioned that fact” you said as you kissed his lips lightly. “Want to feel even better?” Sirius grinned. “___,” he said a little hesitant. “Do you really want to? I might be really shit at it, you know. Or it´s going to be over too fast…Can we even…? I mean I don´t have any…erm…preparations-“ “Sirius” you grabbed his face in both hands. “I want more than just your mouth on me. I want more than dry humping. I drank a potion. We´re fine.” You kissed his nose and felt his shoulders relax a little more. “If you´re up for it, I´ll take what you want to give. You won´t be shit, sweet boy.” Bless his unsure heart.

Sirius nodded his head and tried to get his doubts under control. “Was just making sure” he said lamely. You smiled again and leaned into him. Your mouth right next to his pieced ear you whispered “Enough with the doubts, Sirius. I want you. I want you more than anything else. Let me show you.” In a flurry of self confidence you reached for his hand, scooted back a bit on his lap and guided it gently downwards over your chest, over your stomach to the hem of your panties. You heard his breathing pick up. His long fingers curled into the fabric and moved it gently to the side. The moment his digits made contact with your already wet folds he let out a strangled moan. Not just because he felt how ready you were for him but because your own breath escaped right into his ear as you bit it gently.

You could feel his fingers rhythmically move over your folds, gathering wetness there and spreading you open slightly. Bumping your clit in the process you began to shake in his arms and pushed your hips into his hand. “Sweetheart” he panted into your neck and licked your pulse point. “You´re so wet for me.” It almost sounded like he couldn’t believe that he had this kind of affect on you. “Yes” you said as goosebumps erupted all over your back. “More” It came out as a breathless plea and he was more than happy to comply. Putting more pressure into his movements, his fingers found your hole and slowly inserted two of his fingers, groaning. “Fuck” you yelped and bucked your hips again. “That´s it, little one” Sirius growled. “Can I get you off like this? Bet I could, huh?” You could only nod as you felt your insides flutter around his fingers still moving gently but decisive.

It seemed like he was trying to gather all his still functioning thoughts and removed his hand from your panties. “No, no, no, no-“ you whispered and looked at him with unsatisfied eyes. Sirius´ face was flushed bright red and with an open, dry mouth you watched as he lifted his fingers to his lips and without breaking eye contact he licked your wetness off his digits with a content sigh. His eyes fluttering close for a second he wasted no time. Baring his teeth he quickly stood and swung you around onto his mattress. His chest was heaving as he quickly unbuttoned his shirt and threw it over his shoulder. Leaning onto your elbows to see him better you watched with hungry eyes how his wide shoulders rolled momentarily. Lean muscle stretched under beautiful decorated pale skin. His tattoos were even more impressive than you´d thought. They scattered all across his chest, his ribs and his stomach. Most of them you couldn’t decipher and you made a small mental note to ask him about them later. Your mind however was gone again the moment he looked down and popped open the button on his pants, lowering them and stepping out.

The moment your eyes met again he was on you. Without thinking about it he made himself at home between your thighs. His hot and swollen dick nestled perfectly above your panties. The feeling was unlike anything you´d ever felt. It felt like being with someone who actually wanted to be there, who wasn´t trying to make this solely about himself. Sirius´ kisses to your neck, jaw and lips told a completely different story. One of dedication, passion and devotion. With shaking hands you help his face while kissing him and wrapping your legs around his narrow waist. “Sirius” you breathed against his mouth. “Please….make me yours.” Sirius´ stomach was doing summersaults at this point and with a gentle nod of his head his hand wandered over your ribs and to the last bit of fabric on your body. Untangling from him you watched him get on his knees and with a concentrated gaze pulled off your panties. Sensually his hands guided the garment over your thighs, calves and finally off your body.

He stared at you. How your chest heaved and shook with panting breaths. How your pussy glistened in the dim light of the gas lamps left and right of his bed. An awestruck gaze flashed through his silver irises and he gently shook his regal head as if to convince him that you were really there. Your own eyes however were trained on the bulge in his boxers. The one twitching when he noticed the hungry look in your eyes. “Ready, dove?” he asked gently and leaned further over you. You wet your lips and as your answer, reached out to his hips. Almost impatiently you tucked at his boxers and pushed them as far as you could down over his ass. He chuckled a bit and took care of the rest himself.

Seeing him in all his glory was almost too much for your poor brain. A beautiful face that told a story of pain, endurance and immense gentleness, wide shoulders, lean chest and a narrow waist. In the light of the room it almost looked like his tattoos were dancing across his skin. Not just on his chest, neck and hands but also on his thighs and calves. “You´re so darn beautiful” you said with a choked up voice. “Come here” you beckoned him to you with your hands. He came willingly and quickly, pressing his mouth to yours almost in a frenzy. His tongue in your mouth immediately.

The both of you didn’t need much more preparation than gentle words and hands. The moment your legs encased him again and he was in the perfect position, he was fighting with himself not to tell you that he loved you. Loved you with a fury that was unknown to him. Loved you in a way he knew would destroy him if mistreated. He couldn’t. Not yet. In this position it would feel situational. He needed you to know it the moment it came the most natural. But he also knew he couldn’t wait much longer.

When he pushed inside for the first time ever so carefully he almost collapsed on top of you. “Bloody fuckin´ hell” he rasped from behind his teeth as you gasped. “You ok?” he looked at you and saw that your eyes were again almost closed and you nodded. “Yeah,” you mumbled. “I´m fine, Sirius. Please, don´t stop” He smiled down at you and kissed your lips once more. “Whatever my lady wants.”

With these words he moved his hips again. Back and forth, inch by inch he groaned deep from within his chest.

You had trouble breathing by the time he was fully inside you and stopped moving for a moment. Never in your life had anything, anyone felt so good. Shaking fingers grabbed his biceps and squeezed when your eyes met. The blood was rushing in your ears and a light sheen of sweat already adorned both your bodies. “Thank you” you said with all the gentleness you could muster and watched as he pinched his eyebrows momentarily. “What for, darling?” he asked in a strained but curious voice. “For being you and not forcing anything.” You meant every word you said and felt your eyes become wet. Sirius looked at you a little bewildered and then with so much devotion, a tear actually fell down your cheek. He wiped it away and held your face in his hand. “___, I would never, in my life, force you to do anything you don´t want to do or don’t feel absolutely content with. And the thought that you feel the need to thank me for that makes me equal parts furious and worried.” He kissed your forehead. “Whatever it is, you need to tell me to stop and I will. I promise you that. Do you want to stop?”

You shook your head and smiled at him. “Absolutely not. Not for anything in the world.” To make it even more obvious to him and to push the mood into another direction you squeezed around him and watched his eyes roll back for a moment and a long whine escape his lips. “Little minx” he exhaled with a laugh. “Is that how it is?”

You grinned at him and wound your arms around his neck. His hair was tickling the tip of your nose a little as you nodded. “Well then” he growled and pulled out slightly. “Let´s see if you´re still cheeky when I do this.” And with the last word he pushed back in with a quick jab. A loud groan bubbled from your throat as you closed your eyes. “Again” you begged. Sirius listened and started a beautiful rhythm. Pulling out slowly and pushing back in stronger and quicker he soon began breathing heavily. Pressing your fingernails into his neck you felt your body buzzing, your heart pounding and a feeling of electricity crawl all over your skin. One of your hands made its way down over his strained back and covered the flesh of his ass, pushing him closer. “Good Godrick, baby” he moaned. His arms repositioned themselves for better support as his thrusts became quicker over all. “Oh fuck,___” he panted and glided his hand over your chest, lightly flicking your nipple before taking it in his mouth again.

“Ah” you gasped and arched into him almost painfully. “Sirius, yes. Oh hell, yes.” Immediately you felt your stomach tighten and a distinct pull right where his cock moved inside you. “Shit, what…?” you looked down at where you were joined and then back up at him with big eyes. He kissed you again, his tongue tangling with yours. “HmmHmm” he murmured against your lips. “Yes, darling. I can feel it. You feel good?”

“Yes” you panted. “Yes, so good. What´s happening? Oh fuck. Ah!” You heard him chuckle and hiss as you moved your hips with his. “My love” he said into your ear. “You´re about to come. Have you never…?” You shook your head. “Never during. Oh, there. There…Sirius!” He growled in satisfaction. His teeth sank into the soft flesh beneath your ear. The dominant part of him celebrating the fact that no other man had ever managed to do what he could do. Fucking selfish idiots, he thought.

“Right then, my beloved. Hold on tight” he said and you listened. Holding onto his shoulders he grabbed your hips and angled you slightly upwards. Your ass was now flush with his thighs as he began a different rhythm.

Stars exploded behind your eyes as you yelled out and grabbed his hair. The new angle allowed him to sink so deeply within you he almost fell over with the shock that punched through him. Your warmth, voice and scent all around him, he got completely lost in it all. One arm next to you allowed him some kind of leverage as he moved his hips, pushing into you over and over again. Seeing your breasts move in kind made him lose almost all self-control. He couldn’t remember the last time his body felt so hot, slick and his heart pounding with so much force. He was alive. He was alive because of you.

“Fuck, darling. Don’t hold back, don’t you dare. Come on” he begged you with a cracking voice. “S-Sirius…I-“ you hickuped as you blindly but with open eyes grabbed at his skin. “I know, sweetheart. I know. It´s all right, I´m right here. You can let go…oh fuck, yes…let it happen. I-I´ll catch you…argh” he pressed his eyes closed and again bared his teeth as he felt you squeezing him even more ferociously than before.

The pressure you felt deep within swelled and swelled until you had trouble taking in air, your vision of Sirius blurred and suddenly something white and hot crawled up your spine. With his name silent on your lips your back arched once again as the pressure snapped and you silently screamed into the void. An unbelievable feeling of euphoria convulsed through your body and you forgot where you were for a second. You felt your body shake and gentle hands on your side. Through the fog you heard him.

“Fucking perfect, baby. So beautiful. Shh, shh, it´s okey. ´M there too. With you…fuck, fuck, yes!___!” You could feel his thrusts becoming less and less frequent and through your haze you knew what you wanted most of all. With still shaking thighs you tightened them around him to keep him in place. “Please” you panted. “Please…I-In me.”

Your voice reached his ears and the next moment he fell over the edge with a snarl. His hands dug themselves deep into your flesh as the tidal wave of his orgasm nearly pushed him over. “Oh hell, darling. Yes, Yes, Yes…Oh fuck, so warm. Perfect. Argh!!” Hunched over he tried to regain his composure but it was impossible. “Baby” he said weakly as he, still spasming and still inside you, leaned over you and relaxed his body onto yours. You welcomed him with little pecks to his shoulder.

You could both feel the others thundering heart, how your skin slick with sweat felt like, how he steadily went limb inside of you. After what felt like hours Sirius groaned and rolled off of you only to position himself right next to you and pulling you close again. His nose nuzzled your cheek affectionately. You turned your head and looked into his eyes that steadily turned silver again. He reached out and stroked his forefinger over the bridge of your nose, lightly tapping the tip. You leaned in and kissed him long and slow. More content than you´d ever felt in your life. Again, both your hearts screamed the same words as your eyes did the talking.

“You´ve saved my sanity” he eventually whispered. His arms pulling you closer still. You smiled at him and licked your lips. “I can´t be the only one. What about Harry?” Sirius scrunched his nose and answered dryly.

“Can we not talk about my godson while my cum´s dripping out of you?”

“Oh, for fuck sake” you giggled and covered your eyes with your palm while Sirius just snickered.

“You´re right, you´re right” you said and looked at him again. “If I saved your sanity then you definitely saved my happiness.” Sirius leaned over you and kissed you contently.

“Speaking of cum” you said as he growled playfully and pinched your ass. You swatted his chest. “I´ve got to use the loo.” Sirius had a grumpy look on his face for a second before his eyes blitzed. “I think we need a shower, darling, don’t you?” Thinking about it he was of course right. So, you sat up and got up on wobbly legs. Sirius had no other choice than to let his chest swell with pride when he saw it. You leaned down and gave his forehead a kiss. “Give me two minutes alone, then you can come get me.” He grinned and nodded. “You bet your sweet arse I will.” Rolling your eyes a little bit you turned and naked as the day you were born walked over to his bathroom, never having felt so content or comfortable with your own nakedness. You knew because you felt it, Sirius´ eyes were following you until you closed the door.

Five minutes later you stood in Sirius´ arms under the shower. He insisted on washing your body and your hair, gliding his hands over you sensually but not sexually. Whispering sweet things into your ear while the steady stream of water washed over you.

Freshly showered, none of you bothered with clothes as you got into bed. Your thoughts consumed by yet unspoken words you whispered gently to each other until you both fell asleep. Your foreheads touching and legs tangled together, your last view the eye colour of the person you loved.

____________________________________________________________

The next few days were spent in Christmassy bliss. The young wizards were a much needed whirlwind in Sirius´ life and you felt each day just how much he loved having everyone around. That was until it was time for another order meeting and Snape entered the house. It was astounding to you sometimes how quickly Sirius could switch from cheeky and happy to serious and permanently on edge as soon as Snape entered the room. Since your last encounter with him Sirius was very protective of you. Holding you close, spewing acid from his eyes in Snape´s direction.

You felt how with every passing week, the kids had already left for Hogwarts again, he became increasingly tense. He tried not to show it in your presence but he wasn’t the only one you observed this behaviour in. Everyone seemed to grow more worried each day and it kind of scared you. Sirius told you a lot about what they discussed in the meetings but you were sure that he left a lot of it out as to not worry you. These days you cursed being a Muggle more and more. But there was nothing you could do.

And then one night while you slept blissfully in Sirius´ arms, three loud bangs to Sirius´ door let the both of you shoot up from the bed. “Sirius!” It was Remus on the other side of the door. Sirius jumped out of bed and hurried over to the door, ripping it open. Remus looked worried and dishevelled. “Albus is waiting down in the kitchen for us. Get dressed.” His tone was all Sirius needed to not ask unnecessary questions. He grabbed his jeans and an old shirt looking at you. “Come on, love. Get dressed. He didn’t say it was an order meeting.” Nodding quickly you threw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. Hurrying silently downstairs into the kitchen the three of you didn’t exchange any words.

In the middle of the kitchen stood Albus Dumbledore. He was surrounded by Tonks, Moody, Arthur and Kingsley. Seeing almost all order members there you stopped immediately. An apology on your lips you felt Sirius gently grasping your arm, his dark gaze on Dumbledore. “What happened?” he demanded.

Albus looked at him directly and spoke. “You will not like what I´m about to ask of you, Sirius.” Sirius´ eyebrows pinched and you felt anger roll off of him. “Whatever will be discussed in the next minutes, you cannot leave Grimmauld place.”

“What. Happened?” Sirius seethed. Albus could see it was lost battle this time. It was like Sirius already knew. Panick flooded your insides and all you could think was that only one person could force Sirius to break his promise to Dumbledore. “It´s Harry and the others. They´ve been deceived and are currently in the department of Mysteries.”

The room felt cold, Sirius´ hand on your arm felt cold and hard. All sound vanished from the world and a ringing started in your ears. Sirius looked paler that he ever had and cold sweat started forming on his neck. “Why would he…?” Sirius began with a voice that you´ve never heard from him before. “Deceived…”

“I don’t know much more than you at this point” Dumbledore addressed the room. “But I´m sure I don’t need to explain that time is of the essence. Alastor” he directed his attention to Moody. He only nodded and squared his shoulders. “Tonks, Lupin, you are with me” he growled. “Kingsley and Arthur will meet up with Charlie at the ministry. Sirius” he growled and looked at the black haired man at your side who was shaking with anger. “You stay here.”

Sirius exploded, letting go of your arm. “What the fuck are you on about?! I´m not staying here while Harry is fighting for his life. You know who´ll probably be there!” His voice boomed through the kitchen. “That´s exactly the reason why you of all people need to stay here. We need level headed people in there!” Moody yelled back. “We can´t have you charging in there with tunnel vision. What do you think will happen when they get to you?! When she gets to you!”

Sirius was pacing and gripping his hair hard. You´ve never seen him so devastated but everything Moody just said made total sense. You could only hope that he´d see it the same way.

“I´ll kill her!” he said. His voice void of all emotion except pure hate. “Sirius” Arthur tried to make him see sense. “We´ll go get them. Stay here, it´s too risky.” You didn’t dare ask Sirius to stay although it was all you wanted in this moment. But it wasn’t your decision to make and not your godson in danger. Though thinking about all these young people that you grew to fond of and how they were in danger made your insides twist and you were sure your face was almost green with nausea.

Sirius looked at the people in front of him like they´d all collectively lost their minds. “Leave!” he bellowed and watched the next second how they all, except for Molly vanished from the kitchen. The silence that followed was deafening and you surely didn’t expect Sirius to actually stay. Molly didn’t seem to be convinced either as she shot him a warning glare. “Sirius” she said carefully but with emphasis. He was pacing again, ignoring her. He came to a stop in front of you and clasped your shoulders harder than he intended. Your head whipped up to him and the sight scared you more than anything.

He wouldn’t stay, you saw it in every line of his face and in every shade of apology and anger in his irises. You knew he would leave, heading head first into a situation that could cost him his life and you couldn’t do anything to convince him not to do it. He stared at you intently, willing you to understand, to forgive him for what he was about to do. Tears gathered in your eyes and he moved his hands to your face. “I…I can´t,___” he croaked with a voice full of regret as you shook your head pleadingly. “Forgive me.” Your knees almost buckled when he pressed his forehead against yours, kissed your lips hard and with another crack, the love for your life was gone. Molly reached you just the moment you screamed out your panic and devastation before your knees gave out and you sank to the ground in her arms.

“M-Molly” you trembled like a leaf as you gasped her name. Her arms around you shook almost as bad as yours when she tried to get you up from the ground. “I know, my sweet. I know. Come on, you need to stand up. You need to be strong now.” Molly´s voice shook and you heard the heaviness of tears in it. She guided your numb body to the table where you sat down and buried your head in your hands, sobbing. What if he didn’t come back. What if none of them came back?

The sound of a kettle in the background seemed so far away and dull as you stared at the spot where Sirius would usually sit. When Molly sat down a cup of tea in front of you, you didn’t even move. “I didn’t even get to tell him” you whispered. Molly followed your gaze to Sirius´ chair. Taking your hand in yours she said “He knows, darlin. He knows.” You shook you head no as more tears streamed down your face. “I didn’t tell him” you said and finally looked at her. Her eyes were swollen red and she looked ages older than she´d ever had. “Sometimes…sometimes words are not needed. Looking at the two of you and what you do for each other, none of us have any doubt that you are in love. So believe me,___. He knows it too.” Pleadingly you looked at her. “But he never heard it from me. What if he doesn’t-“

“Enough, darling!” Molly said suddenly with a fiery look in her eyes. “Enough” she said more gently. “Do not think like that. Please.” Her expression changed again and suddenly you felt like the worst person in the world. “Oh Molly” you breathed and took her hand in his. “I´m sorry, Molly. I didn’t think…your children. Arthur” Molly nodded and held your hand tighter. “You´re fine, sweetheart. I knew that this was a possibility but….when it actually comes…” Her eyes filled with tears again and you quickly wound your arms around her neck. You both cried in each other’s neck for a little while until Molly patted your back and leaned back. Taking your face in her hands she looked you deep in the eyes.

“If you truly love him and want to stay with him, it is time you get used to the possibility of this happening again. He´s a stubborn man and Harry´s the only family he has. Maybe that changed with you. But only so much. He loves that boy like a son and he will run to him whatever happens.” You nodded your head and took several deep breaths. “This is, after all…war.” Molly said calmly.

The hours trickled by so slowly, you were almost ready for your straight jacket. Pain and blinding worry was all you felt while sitting in the kitchen. One horrifying scenario running through your mind after another. Harry dead. Sirius dead. The Weasleys…dead.

Crack!

Yours and Molly´s heads snapped up and Molly let out a wail, staggering across the room and landing in her families arms. “Oh thank fuck!” You whispered and cried when you saw Ron, Ginny and Arthur all in a bundle of limbs with Molly. Behind them appeared Tonks and Remus. With shaking legs you tried to stand up and run to them but Tonks was quicker. She rounded the table with a haunted look in her eyes and hugged you before you could stand. Overwhelmed you clung to her.

“S-Sirius?” you gasped. “Harry?” With panicked eyes you tried to read her face. A moment later came your liberation.

Another crack almost drowned out a booming voice. “___! Where is she?!___!!”

He was there. Standing in the kitchen, his arm around a pale and shaking fifteen year old. Everything seemed to slow down as you felt an overpowering sense of relief. You watched as Sirius looked around the kitchen with desperate eyes while Molly took Harry from him and pulled him into her arms. When his silver eyes made contact with yours, you almost lost consciousness.

He staggered forward the same moment Tonks helped you to your feet. You swayed for a moment and reached out your arms. Before his palms could make contact with your face, he took a desperate breath and  whisper-yelled “I love you!”

His lips slammed onto yours not even a second later and everything was drowned out. The only thing that mattered was his kiss, his presence, his warmth and his hands, touching every part of your face and neck as he kissed you stupid.

“I love you” he said again as he came up for air and slammed right back in. You felt your feet leave the ground as he hugged you around the waist and leaned back slightly. You cried. You cried and kissed him and clung to him like your life depended on it and somewhat that was the truth.

He sat you back down and covered your face and neck with kisses which gave you the momentum to take deep breaths and control your sobbing. It only lasted for a moment before you buried your face in his neck and began hiccupping. His hand stroked over your hair as he slowly rocked you from side to side. “It´s okey” you heard him say. “It´s okey my darling. I´m here. I´m so sorry, dove. I´m so fucking sorry.” You lifted your tear streaked face to look him in the eye and without hesitation answered.

“I love you.”

Tears fell from his eyes as your words penetrated his mind. “I love you with a force beyond measure, Sirius. I love you.” A strangled breath escaped him with a sob as he held you against him in a powerful hug. Only now you realised how badly he was trembling. Holding him as securely as your own limbs would allow you, you looked over his shoulder to search for Harry. You found him still in Molly´s arms. His black hair leaned against her shoulder, his own tense and unmoving. “Harry…” you weakly said into Sirius´ ear and slowly he came up from your neck. Still not letting you go he pressed you to his chest and kissed your temple.

“We´re fine, more or less. Somehow…” You didn’t prod further. This was not the time. All of them had been through an ordeal beyond anything your imagination would be able to conjure up. The only thing that was left was marvel in the fact that everyone was breathing. What exactly happened…it had time. “My sweet” Sirius whispered into your ear and you looked at him. One of his thumbs came up and stroked the apple of your cheek and his mouth twitched into a momentary smile. “You´re everything I´ve ever wanted and more than I deserve. I will make up for what I´ve put you through. I swear it. I love you so, so fucking much!”

You nodded with a weak sigh. “I love you too, Sirius” you said. “There´s nothing to make up for. Harry was in danger. Thank you for saving him.” You lay a featherlight kiss to his lips as you said it. Sirius exhaled through his nose heavily and very reluctantly loosened his death grip on you. “How are the others?” you asked him worriedly. “A few injuries here and there. Could have been much worse. We were incredibly lucky. If Albus hadn´t been there…” His voice broke and a haunted look befell his eyes as he stared ahead. “I saw him…Voldemort. He was right there…trying to get to Harry.” You inhaled sharply and suddenly knew just what kind of a miracle it was that the both of them were still alive. Your knuckles turned white as you clasped onto him.

“Where´s Albus now?” you asked quietly. The older wizard was nowhere to be seen.

“Straightening things out with the minister and…a few other things. I´d like to see Fudge deny Voldemort´s return now. Thank fuck I was still able to transform before that buffoon of a minister could see me.” Sirius again nuzzled your hair with his nose and took a deep breath. “Enough with the questions now” he breathed gently. “I just want to be in your arms.” You nodded. “Yeah.”

You spent the rest of the night with Sirius and Harry in the library. None of you able to sleep, talking about nothing and everything. In the early morning hours, Albus came to take Harry back to Hogwarts. You wanted to protest but suddenly Harry was in front of you and hugged you close. “I´ll be fine” he said. “Professor Dumbledore is at Hogwarts. My friends are at Hogwarts” he let go and looked at you with a serious face. “Please take care of Sirius.” Smiling at him you nodded. “Of course. Please look after yourself Harry and if you ever need anything-“ you stopped for a second as Sirius appeared next to you, an arm around your waist. “Let us know immediately.” The both of you looked at Harry with gentle seriousness and the young wizard suddenly had a very significant sheen in his eyes and nodded. “I will” he promised before he stepped forward and hugged the both of you one last time.

The house was quiet once again. Every person, hopefully, was where they were supposed to be. You knew you were. Looking up at Sirius you didn’t quite know what to say to him. It appeared neither did he. So he just took your hand in his, guided you back to his bedroom and for the next several hours made sure that your voice was giving out, your body was littered with bite- and lovemarks and you weren´t able to stand or walk for a while. He´d just finished cleaning you up for the third time as his tired body plopped down next to you and he pulled you onto his chest.

“When all of this is over,” he said and kissed your forehead. “And I promise you some day it will be… Let´s leave. Let´s build a small home somewhere else. Somewhere by a lake. Or the sea.” You nodded as you caressed his chest and arm. “I´d love nothing more.” You felt him take in a deep breath as if to steel himself before he continued. “And…when that day comes…I promise I´ll ask you to marry me.”

Your heart seized its beating. Slowly you lifted your head to look at him. His expression was sincere, true and without doubt. “If you want me to” he whispered. Reaching out you took a strand of his slightly greying hair and lifted to your lips. Looking him deep in the eyes you answered.

“Sirius Orion Black. When that day comes and you ask me to be your wife, know that my answer will always be yes.”

_____________________________________________________________

Thank you so much for reading. Please leave a comment or like if you enjoyed it. Reblogs are also very welcome.

I am debating a bonus chapter (years later) if the general interesst is there, so let me know ;) <3

@twilightlover2007

@charidotesmelotes

@thinking-bucky

@clockworkherondale

[yrluvjane]

ƦƠԼԼƖƝƓ ƬӇЄ ƊƖƇЄ ƛƝƊ ��ԼƖƤƤƖƝƓ ƬӇЄ ƤƛƓЄ (Part 1)

13 Years.

13 Years since the day you believed you lost your husband. 13 years since the day your friends died. 13 Years since the day your family was shadowed in darkness and 13 Years since your life crumbled to ash.

If you had told me, 13 years ago, that there was a chance that I could be in my husband's arms once more, I would've kicked you out the bloody window.

But here you wete, sitting on one of the sofa's in 12 Grimmauld Place; a glass of wine in one hand, trying to wrap your mind of what was happening.

You sat in front of the fire place, it was not lit but it was not the fire that attracted your attention. There was a mess of floo powder all over the floor, coating the edges of the fireplace in grey dirt.

You had been staring at the that for the past two or three hours, your stare turning from one of confusion to curiosity, worry, anger, doubt and hope.

It was around 5 days since Dumbledore apparated outside the wards of your house, in hopes to speak with you about an urgent topic. At first you believed something happened to Harry, that he was hurt or attacked but no if only it was about Harry.

No, Dumbledore had wished to inform you he was in contact with your long, lost husband, Sirius. When he said, the teacup that was reaching for your lips fell and shattered on the ground, spilling the hot liquid and staining the carpet.

Dumbledore only flicked his wand twice for the cup to return to its original state and the stain to vanish; continuing as though he spoke of a new recipe he saw in the British Bake Off.

He told you that Sirius was framed by Peter and that he has been hiding all over Europe in the past two years. When Dumbledore mentioned he knew where Sirius was for two years and 'suspected' he was innocent; you had the sudden urge to smash the teapot over your previous Headmaster's head.

And now you sat, staring at dirt and getting yourself drunk; hoping to avoid your husband, who should arrive any moment now. You downed the rest of your glass and leaned over to refill it just as the door opened.

"I'm fine, Molly." You sighed as you watched the red liquid pout out of the bottle.

You are definitely not fine

A voice commented in your head, it's been 13 years! People change, what if he doesn't love me anymore, or doesn't want me around, what if he doesn't want her.

"I'm not Molly." Harry said sheepishly as he fiddled with his fingers. "May I?"

"Sure. Come on in, make yourself comfortable." You invited as you pulled your blanket and draped it over his legs. "Want a sip?" You asked raising your glass once you caught Harry's eyes. "You'll be legal in a few years and merlin knows what type of things you'll be doing this year."

You definitely were not sober.

"Aunt Y/n!" Harry exclaimed as his face reddened the same shade as his house scarf. "Just be safe, cause if you become a father before the age of 24; I will snap your wand."

Harry stared down in embarrassment and cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask if you're okay."

"Of course I'm okay! Why wouldn't I be okay? I'm going to see my husbsnd for the first time in thirteen year, where he was framed for murder." You replied in a defensive tone, motioning with your hands and heavily swallowing your alcoholic drink.

"Why does everyone think I'm not fine?! I am wonderful. Fan-freakin-tastic. I am super!"

You turned to face Harry's concerned and shocked face and realised you must've sound like a crazy person.

You took a deep breath and motioned for Harry to lean in. He rested his head at your lap as you brushed your fingers over his hair.

"I'm okay, Haz."

"It's just...this may be a lot to handle. I mean I remember when I found out the truth about Peter. I just feel like you meeting Sirius again is as scary as me meeting my parents or something. I think it's alright to be nervous." Harry replied as he played with a loose thread on his jacket.

"I am not nervous."

That was also a lie but you weren't ready to spill all your drunken emotions over to a 15 year old boy.

Harry gave you a look as if to say "really?"

"Shouldn't you be somewhere with Ron talking about Quidditch and girls?" You teased as Harry scoffed.

"If I talked girls with Ron, I'll be lonely the rest of my life."

You let a laugh bubble out of you, Harry soon joining in.

"Is Elle coming over later?" Harry asked after a moment of silence, his face flushing slightly. You chuckled. "Tomorrow morning." You assured him, knowing he had a liking to your 14 year old daughter.

"Are you going to tell Sirius?"

That was the million dollar question, she had to tell him, he was her father, she was his daughter. It would be wrong of her not to tell him.

But she couldn't help wonder, if Sirius didn’t want a child. He always wished to end the Black line. And they never really spoke about having one and maybe he would be to occupied with being Harry's Godfather.

He just got out of prison it would be insane to just bombard him with two teenagers.

"I have to tell him at some point. Though, i am compelled to the idea of leaving and letting them meet each other tomorrow on their own." She suggested, half-joking.

"I'm sure Sirius would be glad to have a daughter. 12 Years in Azkaban, I think some family company could do him well."

She couldn't believe it, 12 years in Azkaban; a soul-sucking prison, reserved for the worst of the worst. The word itself made a shiver run down your spine.

The day of Sirius's imprisonment flashed right before your eyes as though it was a recent memory.

"No! He didn't do it!" You had shouted, the Aurors ignored as they trashed your house. "Mrs. Black-" An Auror began approaching you but you pushed him with your might.

"HE DIDN'T DO IT!" You shouted, you magic flaring and shattering all the windows, a spray of glass showered the ground. '"Mrs. Black if you don't compose yourself right this instant, i will have no choice but to detain you!" The head Auror yelled at you.

You eyes were streaming with tears, the rain from the outside storm began pouring into the the house. The thunder strikes defeaned your ears as you stared at the middle-aged man with nothing but fury in your eyes.

"Get out." You gritted through clenched teeth, you hands fisted at either side of you. "I beg your pardon?" He scoffed.

"Get out of my house!" You snapped, you could feel your magic crackle in the air. The vases, tables and chairs began to shake, the flamws in the fireplace raged shockingly.

The rest of the Aurors stood in their place, unsure with what to do. "You have no authority to tell me what to do!" The Head Auror shouted at you, his wand raised to level with your throat.

With the anger inside of you boiling and reaching its limit, you yelled at the top of your lungs; a surge of magic rushing out as it exploded all your vases and glassware. The couches, chairs and tables all flying out of their place and hitting against the wall.

A moment of silence rang as the Aurors battled if whether it was safe to put their sheilds down. "Let's go," The Head Auror said as he gathered his team. "We will be back."

And true to his word, he did come back but at that point you were too numbed by the amount of calming draught, they made you ingest.

You shook your head as though it would push the memory back to the end of your mind. "I hope your right."

And no later than an hour, you were sat at one end of the large dining table while Sirius sat all the way on the other end.

And though there were only eight or nine seats (per side) that separated you, it fel as though half of London was in between you.

Your eyes kept roaming over his body, though he smiled, joked, laughed and played, you could tell he was somewhat exhausted.

That moment when when his smile fell, his shoulders sagged and his head bowed down allowing his eyes to rest on you.

You saw his eye slightly widened as though he was noticing for the first time in ages - which was exactly what was happening right now - he placed his glass of drink on the table and gave you a small smile.

The side of his eyes wrinkled at the gesture and you couldn't help but feel the same dropping feeling you got almost twenty years ago when you first fell in love with him.

Harry, who was sat next to him kept blabbing about something, but for the first time tonight Sirius didn’t look as though he was engrossed into the conversation.

Sirius stared at you, head tilted as his eyes scanned every aspect of your face. He couldn't believe it was you after all this time. Your hair was all disheveled and your makeup was slightly smudged but you still looked as beautiful as they you two got married.

Y/n subtly motions her head to the side and gets up from her seat, elegantly slipping out of the room.

"Excuse me, Harry." Sirius said, clearing his throat as he stared at where Y/n left and made his way out the room.

The halls got quieter the more he walked, he didn't have to check the other rooms to guess where Y/n slipped into.

He immediately turned towards the stairs and walked up to the upstairs library. There was only one thing in the world that Y/n liked more than coffee and that was books.

Muggle, magic, dark or light. Y/n could always be found nursing one. He quietly opened the door to it letting the smell of old tomes engulf him.

Y/n sat on an armchair at the far end of the room, looking through a dark, hard-covered grimore.

"Most of those books are cursed y'know." Sirius commented as he softly let the door shut. He took a sip of his drink and walked towards her as she let out a gentle 'Ah'.

"Most dark books are, though said curses can be avoided if opened correctly..." She said as she brushed her fingers down the spine and muttered quietly, the next the book let out a soft click as the locks on the side freed it.

Though nothing she said was processed in Sirius's head, he was still hungover on the part his wife was infront of him and speaking to him.

She turned and faced him with a small smile, "Won't you sit?"

Sirius walked over and took a seat right infront of her. He noted her flushed cheeks and the trembling hands over her lap.

"I'm sorry." Sirius said truly as he stared at his shoes.

"Sorry?" Y/n began as she stared up at him with furrowed brows, "Sirius you didn't do anything wrong."

"I did, I left you. I broke our vows, my most important promises to you." He said, she tried to cut him off but he shook his head.

"This is all my fault, if i didn't tell James to make Peter the secret keeper last minute, him and Lily could still be alive, Harry wouldn't be an orphan, Remus wouldn't suffer the full moon alone, I wouldn’t have been in Azkaban..." He took a deep, shaky breath. "You wouldn't have been alone for 13 years."

He looked up at Y/n his grey eyes meeting her's. "You don't know that, for all we know James and Lily could've died a week later even if Peter didn't betray them."

"And Remus didn't spend his full moons alone, I was with him." She stood up and sat next to him, placing a comforting hand on his knee.

"And I wasn't alone for 13 years, a part of you was with me every moment of them." She said as Sirius stared at the diamond on her ring finger.

A hesitated hand, placed itself over her as his thumb stroked the ring. "After all this time?" He said as he stared at her, "Always."

He grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips, placing a gentle kiss. "Your not afraid of me." He stated more than questioned.

"Why would you think I was afraid of you?"

"You didn't want to talk to me."

"Sirius, I didn't want to talk to you because..." Y/n stopped and gulped as Sirius leaned back with furrowed brows and faced her. "I didn't think, you'd still want me anymore. 13 years is more enough for someone to fall out of love with their partner."

"You really think i could stop loving you? no matter how many years apart i could never stop loving you. I loved you then, I love you now and I will love you after 30 years when we are old and grey. I loved you since the first day we met and will love you till the day I die and till the day we meet again. 13 years are nothing comparing to my love to you."

[badgers-and-cats]

My Dirty Girl. (Sirius Black x fem!reader)

Masterlist

Synopsis: you hide some very suggestive photos for Sirius to find. 18+!!!

Warnings; age-gap. Reader is in early to mid 20’s. Unprotected PiV (wrap it before you tap it!!) Smut. Not proof read. I think that’s it.

I wasn’t sure how to end this… so apologies in advance!!

@postazkabansiriussupremacy I knew you particularly liked this when I sent it to you👀

A prison escapee, who was more than a decade older than yourself, and once known as the most wanted wizard was never somebody you thought you’d be so attracted to.

And you especially didn’t expect to be hiding your nudes for him to find. Hoping that the fact that the photos were just ordinary muggle photos that didn’t move, you used your mother’s old Polaroid camera to take them, every photo you took was more suggestive than the last.

You knew they were working. You saw and felt the lingering gazes during Order meetings, and the fact that he clearly found it a lot harder to talk to you, especially alone, knowing he’d seen your bare body.

What you didn’t expect, though, was for you to be hiding these photos for him for a month, and he has yet to make a move, you start to get impatient. So, after one Order meeting, you offer to stay over at 12 Grimmauld Place.

“You don’t have to,” he said to you, saying that he wouldn’t be alone in his childhood house, Remus and Tonks were staying over, he tried to argue.

He stopped arguing with the idea of you staying after you suggested to just talk over a bottle of wine. Sitting in the drawing room, your talking soon changes to flirting.

He knows you’re not exactly being subtle about your attraction to him - your suggestive photos in his room that are now covered in his cum prove that. But he cannot help but allow the age gap cause him a little bit of anxiety. Is somebody like him really somebody you’d like to spend your time with? Somebody you’d be attracted to?

His thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of your fingers softly on his thigh, it’s subtle enough for him to wonder if it’s intentional, but enough for him to notice it.

“So, what do I need to do get you to touch me?” You ask, after you both finish the bottle of wine.

“You shouldn’t want me,” he managed to get out, trying to ignore his cock hardening in his pants.

“But I do. Please, Sirius. Touch me.” You’re begging now, and he can sense the desperation in your voice, and how can he deny you such a request when he’s been longing for you for so long?

His lips are suddenly on yours. They taste of a mix of the wine you’ve just been sharing and a musky taste that you can’t quite place. They’re rough, his facial hair tickling your face.

His hands make their way to your hair, tugging gently as you make your way to sit on his lap - feeling his hard on instantly. You move your hips slowly and sensually, enjoying the feeling of his pants and his hard cock as you grind against him.

“Darling, you have no idea what you’re doing to me,” he groaned, pulling away from your lips, his cock now painfully hard.

“I know exactly what I’m doing,” you say, starting to unbutton his shirt, the moan he let out when the words left your mouth along with the feeling of your hips moving against somehow made you wetter than you were.

Once his shirt was unbuttoned, you helped him get it off, and a few short seconds later, he had taken your shirt off, groaning at the sight of your breasts right there in front of his eyes.

After your bra has been discarded of, his hands almost instantly make their way to touch them, squeezing them with his rough, large hands.

“They’re so much better in person,” he groaned before replacing his hands with his mouth, kissing and sucking eagrly, earning a high pitched moan from your mouth as your hands make their way to his hair - tugging gently.

“Not that I’m not enjoying this, but I’m desperate to feel you inside me,” you manage to get out, way too focused on the feeling of his mouth on your body.

“You’ve taken the words right out of my mouth, darling. I’ve imagined what it would feel like to fuck you for longer than you imagined,” he said, allowing you to get up to strip the rest of your clothes off, as he takes his off, freeing his cock, begging to be inside you.

“Then do it, I want you to fuck me Sirius. Claim me as yours,” you request, lying down on the couch, spreading your legs for the older, attractive wizard in front of you.

He swore he could cum just at the sight of you there in front of him. Legs spread, pussy glistening and begging him for attention.

Usually, he’d be embarrassed at how desperate he feels. But the combination of over a decade of being alone in Azkaban, the shameless flirting, and the drawer full of cum covered Polaroids of the very body in front of him, means he just doesn’t care. He wants to, in your words, claim you as his.

“You are truly magnificent. So beautiful. And all for me,” he compliments, his body now towering over yours, as he lines his cock up with your wet heat, giving it a few pumps first.

Usually, he’d tease, but he’s way too eager to feel your pussy welcome his cock, to feel its heat around him. He pushes the tip in at first to get a taste. And now that he has, he knows he won’t ever be the same again.

The next thrust that followed, he pushed his entire cock into your heat, so that he was now balls deep inside you. He groans at how tight and warm you feel, and you moan at how well he stretches you, you can feel every inch of his cock inside of you.

“Merlin, this is far better than I could’ve ever imagined. You’re going to be the death of me, I swear. You feel so good, gonna let me fuck you, sweet girl?”

“Yes, Sirius, please,” you’re begging now, you’d feel embarrassed at how desperate you sound, but you’re unable to focus on anything other than his cock pushing against your cervix.

Then, it’s like all hell let’s loose. He’s thrusting into you at an almost brutal pace - nothing but the sound of your moans, his hips against yours, and the wet sound of his cock in your pussy can be heard.

“My dirty girl. My dirty, dirty girl. All this time, this is what you wanted? Wanted me to fuck you senseless?” He manages to get out, before he starts his attack on your neck. Kisses, and bites all over, there’s certain to be marks once he’s done.

“I won’t last any longer, sweet girl. I'm going to fill your pretty pussy with my cum,” he says as you beg him to fill you up, with a string of pathetic moans and “please’s,” as you feel your own release coming.

“Let it go for me, pretty girl. Show me how much you’ve craved me this past month. Soak my cock and milk me dry,”

And with that, you let go with a high pitched moan, your pussy spasms around his cock, as he stills his hips against yours. His sweet cum painting your walls, filling you up nicely.

For the next minute or two, you stay in that position. His softening cock still inside of your cum-filled pussy, the sounds of you both catching your breath, and you playing with his hair. Both feeling more than content.

“I cannot tell you how long I’ve waiting for that. How much it exceeded my expectations,” you tell him, and he agrees, looking up at you and smiling, kissing your lips - a lot more softly than last time.

“There is one, small problem though,” he says.

“Which is?” You worry.

“I fear that Remus and Tonks may have heard us,” he says. Your face drops. You forgot they were staying over also.

“Though, I suppose it makes a change from them hearing me jerking off to your photos,” he jokes, as he winks, and before pecking your lips again and pulling out of you.

This new relationship is going to be an adventure, to say the least.

[wingedhallows]

i was a kid ; harry potter

pairing: harry potter characters ( no particular pairing ) | 0.6k words plot: molly seems to forget that war happened before prompt: "i was a kid" authors note: i love molly, really, but i've alway wanted to yell at her in that one scene in order of the phoenix. so, here u go (also the dialogue isn't accurate to the movie)

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Your hand clasped the cup of firewhiskey for dear life. It’s been fifteen years, yet it felt harder than before. You were ready to fight and give your life just like fifteen years ago you’re ready to do that again, of course, but your body reacted differently. Your mind was plagued, plagued with nightmares, with images of death and so much more.

You were on the edge when Lily and James died, when Sirius was locked up for something he didn’t do. All of that just swam around in your head once more, while you sat at this table. 

“There’s something coming, something bigger.” Sirius spoke. Your hands began to become clammy, your eyes closed as you kept quiet. You knew that he was back, stronger than ever. You knew what that meant, of course.

“Then I want to be a part of it, I want to fight.” Harry spoke, chair squeaking as he leant over. 

You were seated between Sirius and Harry. Your breath quickened. You were just like him in the past. Impulsive, you all were. You had sprung to your feet that night, a smile on your face as you almost begged Albus to make you a member.

You wished he had turned you away. Harry on the other side needed to be a member, he was the prime target, you’d protect him. Those kids were in danger and if you could protect them you would.

“There you have it.” Sirius spoke. Your breathing began to speed up, if more was possible right now, your hands held the cup so tightly you might dent it.

The anger cursed through you as Molly huffed and protested. Your head became light, as you pressed your eyes shut. They weren’t there when it all came together, when members died left and right. “Y/N.” You could hear Remus, his eyes on you.

“Enough, they’re just kids.” Molly interrupted and that was just too much. You scoffed, a chuckle leaving your mouth.

“Kids.” You said, face in a sour snarl.

You lifted yourself off the chair and looked at the people in the room. Your eyes focused on Molly.

“You think Voldemort cares if they’re kids?” You said, the room uncomfortably quiet. 

He hadn’t cared then either. 

“You think just because they’re kids, they won’t be murdered?” 

Molly frowned at you and placed a hand on your arm, you shook her off.

“Y/N, please.” Your face held nothing but disgust. 

“This is war, Molly. People die when they don’t know shit, they get murdered. No matter if they’re kids or not” Molly sighed and tried to get a hold of you.

“They’re just kids, they shouldn’t have-”We were kids too!”

You said, a bit louder. No one said anything, too stunned by your outburst.

“I was a kid.”

You whispered as a tear made its way down your face, features twitching in sorrow. “I was a kid when war struck.” You paused to bring a hand to your chest, eager to stop your heaving.

“I was a kid when I was tortured. When-When My friends were murdered, when Sirius was locked up for something one of us betrayed us for, when all hell broke loose.” Molly gasped, hand grabbing at a chairs rest.

Your eyes found hers as you gulped, pushing the emotions back. Sirius and Remus looked at you, tears in their eyes. It had struck all three of you, so hard, all those years ago.

“So don’t tell me they’re just kids.” You paused before grabbing your cup and chugging the rest of your firewhiskey down. 

“It doesn’t matter what age you are when war strikes.”