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nestleeds · 5 years ago

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Pregnancy & my birthing plan during COVID-19

I’m 37 weeks pregnant, I wanted to write a final piece about my COVID19 pregnancy before the main event!. This is about my birth preparation this time, my birth preferences and how this could be affected by COVID-19.

The birth of my first child didn’t go to plan and I had a traumatic experience leading to me being diagnosed with PTSD symptoms.

From the beginning , I knew I had work to do to make things different this time and I want to share the things that have helped me. A lot of the stuff that has helped has been online so its accessible now during COVID19 and lockdown.

I think my first step was actually pre 2nd pregnancy and that was to invest in some healing from my first experience, I needed to understand what had happened to me.

Birth preparation

Mental health – understanding what happened, learning, informing myself.

I had never really heard of birth trauma and I don’t think I really knew what was happening to me in the aftermath, like lots of new parents, I scrolled through social media in the middle of the night looking for something to make it make sense.

Eventually I found Birth Better. Its an account on Instagram which basically helped me to recognise what had happened to me, understand it and I learnt SO MUCH through reading their posts, like all trauma experienced during birth is VALID – even if you and baby were both ok afterwards, something that should be so reassuring, but for me just made me feel confused/sad/ guilty/ungrateful whenever any well meaning person said it to me. Your experience and how you felt is what matters.

Recently, in my later stages of this pregnancy, seeing some of the page content has been quite triggering and it felt right to unfollow for the time being, so please be careful as the content can be triggering! - but it was absolutely what I needed to see at the time, it made me feel so much less alone and I finally understood why I had been feeling so bad. Through Birth Better, I found other accounts who all talked about the same thing, Dr Rebecca Moore, Birth Trauma Support Family, Birth Trauma Association UK and so much more following birth trauma hashtags. I would encourage anyone who is struggling with their mental health after having a baby – whether its trauma, Postnatal Depression, Anxiety, Psychosis – to do the same, there is a ton of helpful info out there and the people behind the accounts are so kind.

Birth trauma information:

@birthbetter

@birthtraumasupportfamily

@birthtraumaresolution

@birth_trauma_association_uk

@drrebeccamoore

Accounts about positive birth:

@thepositivebirthcompany

@birth_ed

@positivebirthmovement

@positivebirthaffirmations

Finding support and therapy for my mental wellbeing:

After I understood more about what was happening to me and why I was still feeling so fragile and not coping in many ways, I sought support, first via my GP and also privately. I felt a lot better after some CBT and EMDR therapy and have felt pretty solid right up until I fell pregnant again late 2019, some of the old feelings started to creep back in. I knew I needed to take control and do my research, learn my rights, the choices I had etc - I really didn’t feel like facing up to this by the way, it was hard...

I bought an online hypnobirthing course through The Positive Birth Company – I found their account on Instagram and they had a flash sale last year and I bought it for a FIVER! It is usually £40 which is still totally worth it. The only reason I bought this course over another was the price but the course is fab, it goes into EVERYTHING. Breathing techniques for labour (and anxiety), how to deal with pain, the physiology of birth, ALL the possible scenarios you might experience and probably most importantly, what your rights and choices are for your birth – SPOILER ALERT – you have complete choice in everything!! For me, this was the most affordable option, as in person hypnobirthing or even the NCT courses can cost £100s. Obviously it was a good choice to make once lockdown happened in March, my partner and I could continue our online course without interruption!

I also made the decision to change hospitals where I gave birth, luckily I had another one a similar distance away that I could choose. I know not everyone has this choice but a change in birthing place could also be made to having a home birth or a midwife led centre for someone else.

Through the hospital, I grabbed EVERY offer of additional support. These add on services are available to everyone but may not be offered to everyone, I was very emotional during my early hospital appointments so maybe it was super obvious I wasn’t coping, however other people may need to be more assertive and ask for the additional support. I had an appointment with a senior midwife who talked to me about my previous experience and helped me further understand what had happened and what my options were now. I think most hospitals have these debrief clinics now - called things like ‘Birth Thoughts’ or ‘Birth Matters’.

I had a few appointments with their specialist well-being midwife who listened to me and my concerns and helped me make a proper birth plan I was happy with.

I was also referred to the Perinatal Mental Health Team. By this point lockdown was in effect so instead of face to face meetings I was offered regular supportive telephone calls throughout my pregnancy. I have also been attending an online Zoom wellbeing group with their peer support team. This keeps me in check and encourages me to implement coping strategies to stay well.

Additionally, by luck, a friend emailed me about a local hypnobirthing teacher who was offering EFT sessions for free. I was a bit sceptical about Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping, however it was free so I contacted her and we set up a number of sessions over Zoom. This was incredibly helpful in dealing with anxiety symptoms and fully got me through a number of lone hospital appointments including my 20 week scan.

Finally, after a peak in anxiety and low mood in April, I decided to properly start making some time for myself. I was working from home full time at this point with a toddler and it had all got a bit much. I took a week off work and invested in a few things to support my wellbeing. I started to do pregnancy yoga every morning (just a random one from YouTube!) used positive affirmations on a phone app (Freya), had baths with some nice oils, purchased an essential oils calming spray, which I used every evening. I completed the hypnobirthing course and spent some time finessing my birth plan. This wasn’t all in that week, I’m still doing it now. And honestly this stuff has helped me just as much as all the professional interventions I’ve had.

Birth preferences and COVID19

I’ve only got a few weeks left, I don’t know for sure what effect COVID19 will have on my actual birth as things are still changing. I have made peace with the fact that my partner may not be able to be there at some points, if he contracts the virus I will need a reserve birth partner who will be my mum. I’ve been told I DON’T have to wear a mask to labour in (phew). There are some things which are still scary about giving birth at the moment, the biggest definitely the real possibility I’ll have extended time by myself whilst in labour BUT i’ve read probably hundreds of positive COVID birth stories via the Instagram pages I mentioned earlier and elsewhere online, if those women can do it, so can I. I know some people who wanted home births or to use midwife led centres have not been able to choose their options, maybe in some ways because of my previous c section those options were already ruled out for me which has made it easier? But in terms of what’s helped me prepare mentally and physically, I’ve been able to access most of it all online and it’s made it feel more in control and like I’m being really proactive, not just this passive ‘patient’ I felt like I was before.

So that’s it for now. Wish me luck!

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