#popreq:depressed!bucky

[stuckylibrary]

Hello, just wanted everyone to now that the masterpiece that is Baghdad Waltz has just been completed. One hell of a beautiful ride with stunning characterization (don’t read last chapter in public)

Baghdad Waltz* by Dreadnought (complete | 680,730 | E) *rape/noncon, graphic violence, /others, wartime violence involving children, child death, alcohol&drug abuse, addiction, suicide/suicidal ideation, child abuse

Lieutenant Steve Rogers has done all the right things. Graduated West Point at the top of his class. Earned a coveted spot as an infantry officer. Found the woman of his dreams. Everything is going exactly as planned. That is, until he accepts a platoon leader position for a unit deploying to Iraq, where he’s reunited with the ex-boyfriend he’d rather forget but never could.

———

Sergeant First Class Barnes thinks he knows war. He lives in a wild cycle of military training, deployments, sex, drinking, and pining for his former best friend and ex-boyfriend, Steve Rogers. But when Lieutenant Rogers is assigned as his platoon leader during Operation Iraqi Freedom, Sergeant Barnes realizes that he doesn't know the first thing about what it means to truly fight for something.

———

An Iraq War love story in three movements.

Or:

The story of two men who go to war and don’t quite come back home.

[thestuckylibrary]

I would like to rec Fear Not the Ghosts by @endofadream. A beautiful post-TWS oneshot filled with very frank angst and very real love.

(suicidal ideation, implied/referenced self harm)

[stuckylibrary]

Radio Nowhere by Poe (/27007417). Bucky runs a podcast called The Wastelands, Steve is an artist. Ethereal and creepy and so, so good.

Thank you for writing in!

Radio Nowhere by Poe (complete | 10,204 | T)

"The Wasteland was a place where your name didn’t matter, where your gender didn’t matter, where who you fell in love with didn’t matter. All that mattered was survival, was the adventure, was the long nights with nothing but the chirping of crickets and the alien howls of the horrors that lurked just beyond the horizon to sing you to sleep. The Wasteland was a beacon to other outsiders, somewhere, that despite the desert demons, it was safe to be yourself."

*

(Or: Bucky Barnes runs a podcast, but doesn't want to be seen. Steve Rogers can't stop looking.)

[stuckylibrary]

For a lovely fluffy but with a nice dude of angst shrinkyclinks please check out my heart tells me you are lonely, too by FanGirling. So many hugs for winter soldier Bucky (cw for suicidal thoughts, attempted rape/noncon, nonconsensual drug use)

[stuckylibrary]

Hello!! I was hoping to be able to rec a fic, if that's cool. It's "And fill our bodies up like water till we know" by caughtinanocean // archiveofourown*org/works/18936613. This fic is GREAT - it's werewolf!bucky, but set in canon events. The relationship between him and Steve in this is amazing, Also, tons of competent Bucky and Steve. This fic is well written, sad, funny as hell, etc.

Thank you for writing in!

And fill our bodies up like water till we know by caughtinanocean (oneshot | 22,705 | T)

Wolves mate for life. It's both the best thing about Bucky's life, and the most inconvenient.

After six days in Steve’s arms, Bucky dreams again, for the first time since the ice — wolf dreams, four feet on the ground, the smell of the earth, and his eyes in the sky.

The moon is coming, and this reprieve — like all reprieves — is temporary.

[stuckylibrary]

Thanks for all you do 💞

I'd like to recommend the below fic by thepinupchemist, I love their works and thoroughly enjoying this You and a test of will ♥️.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5645545

There's a bit of a story here, I was reading this fic as a download, accidentally deleted it and couldn't remember what it was called or who the author was. I was about to send in an ask to ask for help finding it back but googled some obscure references to the fic first and managed to find it myself! 😊 Thought I'd pay it forward and rec it as it's a wonderful fic ♥️

[thestuckylibrary]

You've probably had this on the blog already, but can I reccomend "Holding Your Words In My Hand" by Diamond_Raven? It's my absolute favourite fic and it includes so many helpful links. Well rounded. Beautifully written. Thank you!!

Thank you for writing in!

Holding Your Words In My Hand (WIP) by Diamond_Raven

“Captain, it was his choice. He was the one who requested the procedure.”

“He had no choice!”

“He had a choice between imprisonment and the procedure. He made his decision.”

XXX

After months of imprisonment and being labeled a permanent threat to society, Bucky realizes he’ll have to make some permanent sacrifices if he wants his freedom.

[thestuckylibrary]

Hi! I was wondering if you could help me find this fic, I've tried searching for it but had no luck so far... I think it was based on one of those "person A does this and person B does that" posts, and it was about person A (Bucky) going to a bridge or something because he's going to commit suicide and then person B (Steve) is there and he says something like, "you came to see the sunrise too?" and that's how they meet... I only remember the summary and thought I had bookmarked it but I didn't

I think you’re looking for this one:

Keep You Like an Oath by OriginalCeenote

“Excuse me?”

Bucky’s breath caught, cold and harsh in his throat, and he stepped back from the railing, foot flattening to steady himself at the sound of a low, out-of-breath voice from the other side of the bridge.

Person A has had a hard life and is planning suicide. They decide to jump off a bridge at dawn so that the last thing they see can be the only thing they deem beautiful. Just before they got on the ledge, Person B walks by asking if they came to watch the sunrise. Person A, not wanting to be stopped by this stranger, says yes, and decides to wait for them to leave. Instead, the two start to get along and go out for breakfast. Over the next few years, Person A starts to get their life back together, and them and Person B become friends-turned-couple, and are happy together. One night a year or two into their romantic relationship, Person A finally reveal what they were really going to do the morning they met. What Person B’s reaction is up to you.

WARNINGS: possible triggers, suicidal ideation. Depression. If that is painful for you, DO NOT READ THIS.

[stuckylibrary]

Recommending this fic because it absolutely destroyed me. Spent so many hours reading this and it may as well be one of the best I've read. It's about married SteveBucky getting a divorce and it broke my heart. dw tho it's tagged Exes to Lovers and Getting Back Together! really enjoyed it so wanted to share :D

The Break-Up by Evanguelia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25117216

Thank you for writing in!

The Break-Up* by Evanguelia (complete |  158,691 | M) *chose not to warn; /others

Bucky stares at the papers in front of him, not daring to look up.

In front of him read: No Fault Divorce Form. It was all filled out in his name, as plaintiff. Defendant; Steven Grant Rogers.

“So that’s it?” He has to confirm.

“Pretty much,” Natasha replies. “He can contest it. He can refuse it. You can also never show him. Doesn’t have to matter.”

Bucky nods. Doesn’t have to matter. Doesn’t have to matter that he went to his best friend and colleague to have divorce papers drawn out, all in proper legal jargon, because he’s been thinking about divorce for months and months and told no one.

Not even his husband.

-----

Bucky and Steve have been together all their lives. Bucky thought they would have made it, that they were the other half of the statistics. He thought they would have found their way to each other in the end. Life is funny like that sometimes.

Part 1 of Pucker up, Our Passion's Spent

[stuckylibrary]

Letters to Who You Once Were by Riskywrites on Ao3. My God. It’s amazing. works/25429036/chapters/61671436

Thank you for writing in!

Letters to Who You Once Were* by RiskyWrites (WIP | 6,195 | G) *chose not to warn

Dear Bucky,

If you're reading this, then it means that this was a success. That my shot in the dark was worth it. If you're reading this, then maybe, just maybe, some of the damage that they did to you was reversed. Maybe all this hard work was worth it in the end.

I don't know if you'll ever come back to me. I don't know if you'll ever be my Bucky again. But I can hope. And I can try.

We're in this together, buddy. Until the end of the line.

- Steve

[stuckylibrary]

hi! I’d just like to submit a rec,  Down The Chasm by Sheepgirl3. It’s a ‘Steve goes back to find Buckys body after he falls’ fic, and it’s a really good hurt/comfort that has a really sweet ending  

[stuckylibrary]

Hey, do you guys know of any honeypot fics with bottom bucky? Love what you do btw!

Found you this one (though they do switch):

Lessons in Normality by relenafanel (complete | 38,002 | E)

Things Steve knows about his boyfriend Bucky: How he looks with his face relaxed in sleep. That he can perfectly flip pancakes. The way he’s open about things Steve is still adapting to, like therapy and depression and sex toys and being a millennial. The way he laughs with his mouth wide open and his eyes squinted, and the cheerful way he cheats at cards and loses at laser tag.

The way he seduces Steve with a knowing glint in his eye. The way Steve responds to it, stronger each time, taken by his beauty and competence and snark and compassion (or the compassionate way he boots Steve in the ass when he needs a push).

Things Steve doesn’t know about his boyfriend Bucky: That he’s an undercover operative gathering intel on Hydra, SHIELD, and which Steve is affiliated with.

Otherwise known as The Honey Pot AU

[thestuckylibrary]

If you or someone you know was affected by Avengers: Endgame and need a story that's an emotional journey but does much greater justice to Bucky and Steve (and is weirdly prescient in places considering it was written way back in 2016) I suggest Notes From A Dirty Attic by whatthefoucault

Thank you for writing in!

Notes From A Dirty Attic by whatthefoucault (complete |10,063 | M)

I don't know what I'm doing.

My name is Bucky. I come from Brooklyn. I died in the war.

(Extracts from the notebooks of Bucky Barnes.)

[thestuckylibrary]

Hi, I wanted to rec my fic – Walk it Off – it’s an exploration of depressed Steve with a side of Shrunkyclunks. It’s an angst-fest but with some lovely healing done for both of them too.

[thestuckylibrary]

Hey! I noticed that your Wendigo!Bucky tag was lacking, and there was a fic that I read that was amazing. It’s Wendigo by L1av. And thanks for the amazing library!

[thestuckylibrary]

Hello!! Thank you for all the hard work you all do!! Idk if this fic has been rec'd before but i really want to give a shout out to You Make Me Feel.. by Kalika_999 It's just funny and dorky and all around good and a tiny bit sad but all comes out great in the end!! Thanks!!

Thank you for writing in!

You Make Me Feel.. by instagrims (hermanwazlib), kalika_999 (oneshot |21,035 | M)

All Steve wanted was to take a breather, decompress after a mission and go out for a jog in the rain. He wasn't expecting to hide out in a bookstore filled with new and used books or that the employee that worked there thought he was an absolute loser and didn't even realize he was insulting Captain America.