#poor nikandros

[lucky-clover-gazette]

damen & laurent's soldiers need worker's compensation for dealing with their angsty petty gay bullshit. i present the following evidence:

exhibit a:

He had put those soldiers on the door to bar the way to those men seeking Laurent out for some trivial matter, or for any matter, because when Laurent wanted to be alone, no one should suffer the consequences of interrupting him.  The taller soldier addressed him. ‘Commander, no one has entered in your absence.’ Damen’s eyes passed over the doors again.  ‘Good,’ he said. And he pushed the doors open.

‘Arrest me,’ said Damen. ‘I have raised hands to the Prince.’  The soldiers hesitated. It was the just response to his actions but he was—or had been—their Captain. He had to say again, ‘Do it.’  The darker-haired soldier stepped forward and Damen felt the grip take him. Laurent set his jaw.  ‘No,’ said Laurent. And then, ‘It was provoked.’ 

exhibit b:

A part of Damen’s mind recognised how perfectly this gift had been judged, the exquisite virtuosity of it: Laurent was delivering him a backhanded blow with one hand, and with the other, caressing his generals as a man scratches a dog under the chin.  Damen heard himself say, ‘Vere is generous.’  ‘After all,’ Laurent held his gaze, ‘I remember what you like.’

exhibit c:

He gestured and one of his squires came forward. It was still wrapped in cloth. He felt the sudden tension in Laurent, though there was no outward change.  Damen said, ‘You asked for it, once.’  The squire drew back the cloth to reveal a gold cuff. He felt rather than saw the tightness in Laurent. The cuff, unmistakably, was the twin to the one Damen wore, altered last night by a blacksmith for Laurent’s finer wrist.  Damen said, ‘Wear it for me.’ For a moment he thought Laurent wasn’t going to do it. But in public, Laurent had no recourse to refusal.  Laurent extended his hand. And then waited, palm outstretched, his eyes lifting to meet Damen’s.  Laurent said, ‘Put it on me.’  Every pair of eyes in the tent was on him.

exhibit d (lmao):

‘Who did this to you?’  ‘I did,’ Laurent said.  Damen turned.  Laurent stood in the entryway of the tent. He was arranged with elegant grace and his lazy, blue-eyed attention was all on Nikandros.  Laurent said, ‘I meant to kill him, but my uncle wouldn’t let me.’  Nikandros took an impotent step forward but Damen already had a restraining hand on his arm. Nikandros’s hand had gone to the hilt of his sword. His eyes were on Laurent furiously.  Laurent said, ‘He sucked my cock too.’  Nikandros said, ‘Exalted, I beg permission to challenge the Prince of Vere to a duel of honour for the insult that he has done to you.’  ‘Denied,’ said Damen. 

[tschulijulesjulie]

this is literally my favourite part of the entire trilogy

[kadajchan]

Laurent: Damianos attends me every night.

Nik: just say service top.

[delfeur]

[hollaringmountains]

Finished captive prince and it feels like my whole brain chemistry has been changed!!!!! Honestly after reading it still feels surreal that I read that... the plot was alright but the characters involvement and topics woven into it were amazing!

Laurent and damen playing the game of does he know or not was hilarious but at a times sad. Like what do you mean layrent is literally telling you he was there in marlas yet damen thinks oh im safe. Oh my sweet summer child. I called it when this was mentioned. Lol

Nikandros and the physician (forgot his name) were so done with everyone and the schemes.

Regent should just burn and be atomized so the universe can breathe better.

Some of the deaths were so painful or shocking that they just didn't register at all... like what do you mean the spunky sassy kid nicaise is dead.. nope he's still alive and annoying everyone

[tototalks]

Three quarters through King’s Rising! 🛡️🗡️

This will probably be my second to last post covering the main story, and honestly what am I actually going to do with myself after the end of this trilogy? 🫠

- Laurent and Jokaste finally meeting each other girlboss to girlboss. Blonde bitch to blond bitch. I’m living for it. Feels like watching a game of chess.

- THE BABY!!! 😨 Hard to know if she’s telling the truth on this one. But I like that either way Laurent may be a schemer and plotter, but he will not put a child in harm’s way. (Personal headcanon that after he becomes king, he outlaws underaged pets and calls it ‘Nicaise’s Law’)

- “I’m just here.” - Damen has been through so much in such a short space of time. It makes sense he just feels numb as is burned out. He’s been endlessly supportive and needs that support reciprocated too.

- The entire conversation between Damen and Laurent finally being their true identities and selves. So so vulnerable and bare. Finally all out in the open with no more secrets. Being scared and doing it anyway. I adored this. ♥️

- I also love that they’re sexually passionate for each other. Laurent especially is finally getting to take charge of his own sexuality with someone he loves and trusts. Truly stellar writing throughout that whole scene. My heart aches in a good way this time. They can finally just be in love.🙂

- I can really get behind the idea of Auguste and Damen getting along really well had circumstances been different. I feel so robbed of the fact they never got to be brothers-in-law.

- Veretians will never not confuse me with their “your ankles are showing” fully laced and buttoned modesty contrasted to the whole “oh yeah the council view the consummation of marriage.” thing - poor Pallas lol.

- Watching Laurent and Damen banter and tease and smile and laugh is literally everything I wanted for them.

- Someone should tell Kyrina snitches get stitches.

- Jokaste: “he’s a snake.”

Damen (heart eyes): I know 🥰

- Damen seeing Laurent in Akielon clothing and fully Looney Tunes dropping a pitcher of water. Iconic. That’s your man, hun, take it in. You earned it!

- LAURENT DID NOT JUST PRETEND TO BE JOKASTE 😂😂😂😂😂

- Imagine being Nikandros and trying to give your friend some advice to take his best rider on their next Metal Gear Solid mission only for said friend’s feral albino cat who hates you to butt in and declare himself just that person. Wild. Someone help Nik.

- I love that every time something goes down everyone is like “well Kastor is dumb af so this must be Jokaste’s doing.” As 👏 she 👏 should 👏

- “Is this how you do things in Vere?” “What? Effectively?” Lol okay Elle Woods

- The Akielons and Veretians bonding around the fire. There is hope for peace.🥺

- LAZAR AND PALLAS??!! I AM IN FULL SUPPORT!! (I did this with Jord and Aimeric too, so please turn out better than that, I beg.)

- As someone in an intercultural and interracial relationship, I love that Laurent and Damen can rib each other about the differences in their customs and laugh about it while also showing each other the best of it. Accurate and sweet ♥️

- And off we go through Akeilos!! I am so excited for the final chapters! 🥰

[rabid-reads]

"Hello, Lover."

💀

reading Kings Rising and every conversation has me smiling like an idiot. poor Nikandros. i'm on page 77, and i'll prob finish it today or tmrw, but the first 31 pages almost gave me a stomach ulcer tho.

[merrivia]

“What people call insincerity is simply a method by which we can multiply our personalities”- Oscar Wilde, The Critic As Artist

“[in reaction to the quotation above] So to act or perform is not the opposite of your identity or your character or interior self, it’s simply another manifestation of it, another means of realising yourself”- Sos Eltis - on Wilde’s Plays

One of the aspects of the Captive Prince trilogy that I think captures a lot of people’s interest, is the layered psychological complexities of Laurent and Damen. We are watching dramatic events of statesmanship unfold on a large scale (the machinery of politics; the movements of armies; the fates of nations) but we are also keenly aware that we are intimate observers of the intensely private lives of Damen and Laurent, and their relationship. Really, the whole trilogy is a masterclass in characterisation, the reader highly alert to what floats on the surface and what is concealed, kept hidden, suppressed, what transforms with time and experience and is made new, when it comes to the essence of who Damen and Laurent are.

I heard the quotes above today (here, if you’re interested) and immediately felt they captured the heart of the tension between the performed self of Damen the slave and Damianos of Akielos, and too, Laurent’s performative selves around Damen and his authentic personality. 

I think what’s key here is that you cannot splinter yourself into selves which function separately of each other, no matter how hard you try. The choices we make in the external self we present to the world, even in our deceptions, often (not always but often) rise from a place within us that have a psychological reality (it is very difficult to pretend to be something you completely are not, long-term). Furthermore, acting the part requires action and how you act and behave, inevitably, will have some sort of effect on you, and your true internal self (whatever that effect may be).

The problem arises, when it comes to cohesion. Human relationships rely on truth and trust- of knowing others, and being known. We may allow a person to be multi faceted, but there can only be one of you. No one gets to be more than one person.

In normal basic narrative convention, it is the villain who is unmasked, who has lied and in the unmasking, his false persona ‘dies’ and his real persona emerges. Pacat does show how overly simplistic that is with poor, antagonistic, manipulated Aimeric and Jord’s comments. Pretending to be two things to justify your actions doesn’t work. (We’ll leave the Regent out of this conversation for there are those people, very few in number I hope, capable of great evil, who lose their humanity and that would be him).

What do you do then, when your protagonists- your heroes- have been lying for survival? The multiple selves they have been forced into, must now be healed, the fragmented must cohere.

Let me apply this to Damen, first.

When Damen comes to Vere, his persona as Laurent’s slave becomes an avenue for him to, as Wilde puts it ‘multiply his personality’. He can become something beyond just Prince Damianos, beyond Exalted. The act of pretence allows another part of him to manifest; a part that was buried beneath the surface of his royal status. Someone who can show humility and deference, as well as dominance, someone who can socialise with those ranked far lower than him in an easy, likeable way, someone who can learn to see the world outside of his own cultural mores (ones that have been drummed into him as a child), and be objective of the flaws within them. Someone who can enjoy the thrill of a mad-cap adventure, of using his brain and brawn together in a way that delights him. Thus Damen-the-slave is arguably a hitherto unseen facet of Damianos-of-Akielos, made real by the performance. 

With the arrival of Nikandros, Damen is finally forced to/allowed to shuck off his identity as Damen the slave and become Damianos the King. Interestingly, an entirely new role for him which will allow him to take his new self forward.

This allows us to see another aspect of identity- the metaphorical dying off of the old you when your fundamental values are torn down and must be reshaped.

He has been irrevocably changed by the events we see in Captive Prince. No one truly loses their old self entirely, but he understands he can never truly return to the person he was before.

What now of Damen’s relationship with Laurent? I think Pacat realised that had this happened in front of Laurent, it would have caused too great a schism in the pretence the two colluded in. I think it was too much of a psychological blow for Laurent to take.

In fact, I think Laurent knows this and as part of his planning, had Nikandros arrive at Ravenel after his departure, deliberately. It’s a very cool-eyed piece of planning too, as not only does it protect him emotionally but it also allows him to appear innocent of Damen’s identity to the Veretians, and saves him from having to act out the part of a great betrayal which would potentially disrupt his plans to use Damen in a military sense. Laurent nearly always kills multiple birds with one stone.

Damen is given space in this moment in the novels away from Laurent, is given his oldest, closest friend, in Nikandros, who loves him, given a piece of Akielos almost, in being surrounded by his own people, talking in his own language, and in doing so, he starts to come together as himself.

But what of Laurent, and his relationship with Damen?

The only way to heal this is through Laurent’s acceptance of who Damen is. Truly, once and for all. I’ll come back to how this happens, in a moment.

Let us now look at Laurent’s journey. Difficult, private, complicated Laurent. For him, all of this will be far, far more painful.

So Laurent too, is changed by his own insincerity. It is clear that he has to make some very difficult choices in Captive Prince, torn between a venomous hatred of Damen, his uncle’s machinations and the ways in which he can, if he were to be objective, use Damen as pawn to further his own ends. The hatred wins out at first, clearly, his hand only stayed by the Regent, by force. After Laurent is stripped of Varenne and Marche, then forced to the border, he must act in a way that suppresses his hatred, swallowing it down so far that we barely see it for much of Prince’s Gambit. In to that pool of venom though, the small pebbles of Damen’s decency, his trustworthiness, start to make ripples, and with each adventure they have, Laurent fundamentally starts to change as the part of him that can trust, does come out and trust. Laurent is playing a part of pretend partnership with his enemy, but he cannot deny the part that he is playing is completely false, because it is not.

Even Laurent performing as a pet, could be viewed in a new light if we see these things as manifestations as opposed to outright lies. Damen blames the earring for reframing Laurent as sensuous, but it is Laurent’s performance that allows his deeply-buried sensuality to be expressed. Laurent is not, as he wants people to believe (that Damen almost believes) “made of stone”.

Laurent’s reactions in Chapter 3 and 4 of King’s Rising, when he is pure, acidic poison, pushing Damen away as far as he can, is all about pain, about self-protection and self-denial. I could spend an age unpicking it all, all the layers and complexities and hurt, but honestly this already overlong post would be three times as long. And it’s gruelling, I think to read, and to analyse. It’s so private and intimate, it puts us all through the emotional wringer. I’ve picked just a few moments:

It breaks all our hearts to read this. We know Laurent is capable of great cruelty when he’s angry. But this is cruelty from vulnerability, from a place of great inner pain. To love Damen feels like giving up his love for Auguste, the ultimate betrayal. It’s also a huge cornerstone of his identity.

Look at how his hero-worship of Auguste helps him to survive Govart in the cell:

Oh Laurent. The vulnerability in this is just heart-breaking. How clear is it, that this is how he survived for so long? Every time he felt like fear or despair might overcome him, he thought of what Auguste- the brave, golden hero of his life- would do and uses that to battle on. He is so used to being completely and utterly alone, that no-one will rescue him:

Re-reading this, even after having read the novels a few times, brings me to tears.

Laurent is going to have to undergo a Earth-shattering change to accept Damen. Anything else just wouldn’t work. He is suffering when he says he endured Damen’s “fumbling attentions”, his face “white” because I think he is being split in two, his heart torn.

His mind, at this point cannot accept Damen as the ‘prince-killer’, as Auguste’s murderer and the man he is in love with.

The two also must confront the lies between them, to heal. That Damen the slave was a deception.

I think it is easier for Laurent to pretend that Damen as a slave is not in any way Damen as a person. It’s cheating, I think, to ask him to kiss his boot, as if the actions we do when in fear of death or pain, defines us totally. It’s a way for him to try and run away from the truth. Damen, in saying he is “the King” is right to say it. Laurent has to accept Damen as an equal, recognise his power, before they can move forward.

It is very hard to watch what Laurent does next. How hurt he is, but also how he wants to hurt Damen. He’s lashing out but underneath it, is a vulnerable young man, in pain and who can’t help but show it. Who would rather Damen leave him, hate him, as doesn’t that make it all so much easier? Maybe part of him wants Damen to look at him and see, this is who you love. But also, take responsibility for how much you hurt me, then and now.

Damen has this ability to penetrate Laurent’s defences, and when he says “it won’t bring your brother back”, the “violent silence” (what a great oxymoron) shows just how it lanced through him. Laurent’s response really is him saying what, do you think you’re so noble? That you know me and can teach me to be better? To heal? And yet you were willing to wreck me, by fucking me under false pretences when you knew my uncle’s intentions, when you knew it could destroy me?

He’s not wrong either. Damen was being selfish. The first time they had sex, it was a desperately painful moment of Damen having to leave and wanting to stay with the man he loved. He took what Laurent offered, even though he shouldn’t have. Pacat’s commentary on this suggests it all happened too fast, and that had it been slower Damen would have stopped it, would have realised Laurent was not in the right state of mind. Wanting to forget is not the same as wanting the man you love.

Laurent’s mimicry of Damen at his most vulnerable, in his own language, of how much he wanted Laurent, when he had utterly forgotten himself and thrown his soul into making love to him, hurts because it’s meant to hurt. Laurent crosses every possible line to push him away, to belittle him, because Laurent’s only known mode of survival is to use anything and everything at his disposal, honour be damned.

I think in these two chapters, this is Laurent’s attempt to sunder himself completely from Damen. To revert back to Laurent, Crown Prince of Vere, heir apparent, poised to take his throne, a cold and ruthless strategist.

But the part of him that pretended, and was changed through the pretence, is alive inside him and cannot now be simply planned away.

The journey through King’s Rising to bring them back together is Pacat showing step by step how Laurent will finally allow the two parts of himself, the part that loves Auguste as a brother and the part that loves Damen as a romantic partner, to come together.

Pacat writes this exquisitely in the scene where they have sex with no pretence between them, where the naked, stripped down vulnerability of sex functions finally as them coming together as their true selves, baring their souls:

That phrasing “the painful exchange of brother for lover” is Laurent understanding that it is time to let someone else have supremacy over his heart, to let himself love Damen, to understand that the way in which he mythologised Damen as a grotesque enemy and Auguste as his heroic protector, must now be exchanged with human reality.

In this moment, the two seem reborn. Damen thinks that he “never felt more like himself” as they join together. Laurent for the first time uses his “little name” reserved for intimates, “like it meant everything, as if Damen’s identity were enough”.

When they wake up the next morning, they both finally seem like themselves. Two young men. In love and able to delight in each other. A fundamental part of their healing has begun. It will continue, in the Summer Palace, perhaps continue for a long time, but it began with their fractured selves coming together, so that they too, can come together, and be together, free to forge new selves now as part of a pair, halves of a whole, for the rest of their days.

[turtletotem]

Facepalm time. I’ve wondered for years what Kastor told people about Damen’s oh-so-convenient alleged death. Nikandros gives the explanation in the first chapter of Kings Rising.

This is my third read and somehow I never caught this. 🤦‍♀️

I still wonder what the guards’ motive was supposed to be, but at least it’s a better explanation than “idk, for some reason the prince died today too.” And it helps explain the massacre of his household.

I also still wonder what poor stiff got buried in Damen’s tomb--one of his guards or slaves, I hope, rather than Kastor whacking someone else just for the occasion--and what Damen did about it when he got back to Ios. Or did they forget all about it until, decades down the line, Damen finally did pass away, and they realized, whoopsy doodle!, there's already someone in here!

[therisingkings]

All is Well

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Check it out on Ao3 as well as more works by me

After the events of King's Rising, Damen is once again on the verge of losing the love of his life. A lucky assassin managed to bring harm to His Majesty, Laurent of Vere, but it is not the first time Laurent has overcome the odds.

*****

The world moved in slow motion. It was as if a handful of moments had stretched out into an eternity as Damen’s mind gave way to instinct, thought traded for movement.

There was a man in front of him. Then that man was dead, Damen’s sword removing his head from his shoulders. Another assassin advanced, brandishing a wicked looking dagger. His eyes were on Laurent, where Damen had instinctively pushed him behind. Damen grabbed that man’s wrist and twisted, bringing the man to the ground. He slammed his fist brutally into his head just as a wet, pained noise came from behind. 

The world suddenly rushed back into real time as a third assassin pulled a dagger out of Laurent’s back. Laurent’s eyes were wide, another sound escaping his parted lips. He collapsed at the knees, then into Damen’s arms.

“Long live the King,” the assassin hissed just before Nikandros, having been barely a dozen paces behind them, slit his throat. 

Damen couldn’t draw breath to shout, which was ridiculous. He hadn’t been stabbed. Laurent had. Laurent, who was bleeding, his hands fisted in Damen’s jacket, his lips parted. Trembling, Damen tried to cover the wound, but he couldn’t tell where it was. Laurent’s entire side was a darker blue than his clothing, but red spiderwebbed across Damen’s knuckles when he pressed his hand to the wet fabric.

“‘Get me a physician!” Nikandros roared. He knelt beside them. “Exalted, we have to get him inside.”

Damen blinked at him. His mind flashed between the present moment, in the garden he and Laurent walked through regularly, and five years ago, when he’d been bleeding out in the slave baths and pronounced King. He thought, I should be the one bleeding.

“--you hear me? Damen!”

Snapping back to the present, Laurent heavy in his arms, Damen pushed mightily to his feet. He needed to get them out of the garden. Into somewhere with limited exits, where he could be sure that only people he let in were in the room. He didn’t let himself look at Laurent’s face as he made his way as quickly as possible up the marble steps, back into the palace. Every face he saw was an enemy, every guard a threat. 

Nikandros shoved through the crowd that had formed ahead of them, shouting commands and pushing people that stayed too long in the way. Despite that, it still felt like an eternity before they reached the Kings’ private quarters.

“Where the fuck is the physician?” Nikandros shouted in Akielon, to a poor Veretain guard. Realizing his mistake as Damen pushed past him into the room, he said, “Medic, idiot!” in sloppy Veretain.

Damen laid Laurent on their bed. He could feel every single beat of his heart all the way in his throat as his finger’s fumbled on the stupid fucking laces that held Laurent’s jacket together.

Then Nikandros was there, a knife in his hand, and Damen moved without thought, lunging for him. 

“To cut the ties,” Nik panted as Damen forced him face first into the wall. “That’s what the knife is for. Damen, just cut the ties.”

It took Damen’s mind an extra, crucial moment to understand. Nikandros hadn’t meant to finish the job— he’d been offering Damen the knife hilt first.

Damen let him go and swept the blade off of the floor. It cut through the material of Laurent’s jacket like butter, then through his shirt.

Laurent was blinking at him dazedly as Damen forced himself to slow down, carefully turning him so he could see the wound. Damen didn’t have a whole lot of medical knowledge, but he knew a good knife strike when he saw one. The blade had gone straight into Laurent’s side, just beneath the ribs. He was still bleeding. Damen bunched up his tattered shirt and pressed it against the area.

There was a cold hand on his face. Laurent was touching his cheek, his brow furrowed. “You’re crying.”

“Laurent,” Damen sobbed. 

Laurent’s face was as pale as Damen had ever seen, his lips bloodless. His eyes had taken on a dull, glazed appearance as he concerned himself with the tears on Damen’s cheeks.

“Shh.” Damen took his hand, kissing his wrist. “Shh. Pascal is on his way.” Then he turned slightly to shout in Veretain, “Where the fuck is Pascal?”

“I’m here,” Pascal said, hobbling into his room. His newest assistant came in after him, hauling all the medical supplies the poor girl could carry. Pascal waved his freckled hands at Damen. “Get out of the way. Let me see him.”

Laurent let out a noise of protest as Damen backed away, hands reaching blindly for him. 

Pascal examined the wound, his wrinkled face pinched. He snapped something at his assistant, who flipped open the medical trunk. 

Damen paced like a caged lion as they worked. After a few minutes, Pascal turned to him. “He needs stitches. You have to hold him still so we can work.”

“Right, right.” Damen went around to the other side of the bed, crawling carefully across, so not as do jostle Laurent. He gripped his hip with one hand, trapping his legs between his own, and cupped the back of his head with the other hand.

“What’s going on?” Laurent asked as Damen guided his face into his chest.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. I’ve got you.” He stroked his hair soothingly and nodded to Pascal.

It was not a pleasant experience. Laurent thrashed at first, trying to push his way out of Damen’s hold. Damen had to fix his grip to a near crushing one, trapping Laurent’s arms between their bodies. When Laurent realized he couldn’t get out, he resorted to letting out screaming sobs.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Damen felt like his own heart was collapsing in on itself. The stitching took longer than Damen thought it would, and each tug sent Laurent into another fit of pain. By the end of it, thankfully or not, he’d lost consciousness, going limp in Damen’s arms.

“Done.” Pascal stepped back. “He’s lost a lot of blood and the risk of infection is high. Tell me, was there any poison on the blade?”

Damen hadn’t even thought of that. “I don’t know. I didn’t see any.”

“There wasn’t,” Nikandros said, eyes on Laurent. “One of the assassin’s is still alive. We have him under heavy guard beneath the keep.”

“Kill him.” Damen gently rested Laurent against the pillows and stood. “I want every single one of them dead.”

Pascal and his assistant exchanged a look. 

Nikandros stepped forward. “Exalted, we should—”

“I said kill him,” Damen snapped.

Nikandros gripped his shoulder when Damen tried to walk past him to give the order. He said, “Damen. We need to know if there’s any more and what their plan was. We will kill him, but he needs to be questioned first.”

Damen shook with rising tension, but Nik was right. “Fine.” 

Under Damen’s watchful eye, Pascal dressed the wound with careful hands. He was silent as he worked, a muscle in his jaw flickering.

“What is it?” 

Pascal straightened. “The risk for infection is incredibly high. The salve I put on should help, but if it was already infected...”

Damen closed his eyes. “Tell me.”

“He may not live through the night.”

Damen felt his knees go weak. The world spun. Nikandros was there, holding him up, but Damen couldn’t see him. All he could see was Laurent’s soft smile the morning after they’d made love for the first time, Laurent’s laughter through the Summer Palace. 

“Damen, Damen.” Nikandros cupped his face. “He is not dead yet. There is still hope.”

“Stay beside him,” Pascal said. “He needs you now more than ever.”

Damen nodded and said, “Yes.” 

*****

Damen sat down heavily beside the bed. Laurent looked so small on it, drowning in purple silk. Not at all like a king, but like a boy, caught in a riptide fever of pain.

Damen wanted to hold his hand, but everytime he did, he couldn’t stand the limpness of Laurent’s long fingers. It was too much like how his father’s hand had been in his last days.

But these weren’t Laurent’s last days. Damen informed him of such. He smoothed his thumb over his pale cheek and said into the silence, “There is no one in this life that can take you from me.”

Laurent didn’t wake up for two days. 

One the third, feverish blue eyes fluttered open, and it was like watching a tsunami crest. Damen lunged across the room the moment he saw, dropping the gauntlets he’d been inspecting.

“Laurent,” he breathed as he pulled his stool over. He brushed his hand across Laurent’s hot brow. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

Laurent blinked at him a few times. His cheeks were rosy, hand clammy in Damen’s, but his fingers flexed. “I feel…” He turned his head, looking around the room. “I feel…”

Damen inched closer. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

“The, uh. We came back home from Ios. We’re at the new palace in Marlas.”

“That’s right. What else do you remember?” 

Laurent’s gaze fixed on their joined hands. “We were in the garden and… oh. That’s not ideal.” He let go of Damen to try to lift the covers, but Damen stopped him.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore?”

“I can feel it. It’s sore, but manageable.” Laurent licked his lips. “Are you okay?”

Damen chuckled dryly. “Yes, sweetheart. I’m fine. They were after you, not me.” 

Laurent frowned, lifting his hand to Damen’s face. He touched his cheek, then his neck. “Are you sure?”

Damen took his hand and pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist. “Yes, my love.” He stood, taking a step back.

Laurent caught his sleeve. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get Pascal and then get you some food. Don’t move, okay?”

“Okay.” He let go.

Damen bent to kiss his brow before stepping into the hall. He summoned a servant to send for Pascal and Nikandros. Once the servant left, footsteps came from behind him. Damen turned.

Jord bowed and said, “Your Majesty” because there was no Veretain word for “Exalted.”

Damen waved him off. “Tell me how our prisoner is doing.”

“He has not attempted escape of any kind and refuses to eat or answer questions. He…” Jord trailed off, glancing at the closed door behind Damen. He took a deep breath. “Sir, I know it’s not my place, but I’d like to see him.” 

That was not what Damen had expected. Even now, the loyalty Laurent had cultivated in these men shook him to his core. Very few leaders could do what Laurent had done.

Jord went on, shifting nervously on his feet, “We, um, Huet and Lazar and I… we’ve all been worried. He… The King is very important to us. You know that.”

Damen nodded. “I will ask him. Wait here.” 

He wasn’t sure how Laurent would feel, letting his men see him so weakened. Laurent had pushed himself to a sitting position and was poking at his wound when Damen came back in.

“What the hell are you doing?” Damen burst out, crossing the room in three large strides. 

Laurent continued his examination, having pulled off the dressings of the wound. “You said Pascal was coming. I wanted to see how bad it was.”

It was bad. In fact, it was still bad. Two days of rest had only eased the swelling, not healed the wound. Damen caught both of Laurent’s wrists and stuck his face close enough to touch noses. “I said, don’t move.”

“He’s always been a terrible patient,” Pascal said as he came in. He bowed. “It’s good to see you awake, Your Majesty.”

Laurent had a sour look on his face as Damen stepped aside for Pascal. “I was just looking.”

Pascal touched his brow. “Your body is fighting off infection. His Majesty is right. Any extra exertion, no matter how small, can be detrimental.”

Damen crossed his arms over his chest, meeting Laurent’s dry glare.

“I’ll have the kitchens put together some soup and we’ll add a sleeping drought.” 

“You want to drug me,” Laurent said flatly.

“Well you clearly can’t be trusted to rest on your own,” Damen snapped back. “I leave you alone for five minutes and you’re already picking—”

“That’s enough.” Pascal gazed steadily at Damen. “He does not need a lecture right now. I understand that you’re upset, but he needs his husband, not a general.” He turned, pointing at Laurent. “And you need to not make this difficult for everyone. Your health is our priority right now, not aggravating your husband.”

Damen coughed, feeling like a lectured child. Laurent sniffled indignantly and lowered his chin.

Pascal clapped once. “Excellent. Now let me check the wound.”

Laurent was quiet, but obedient through the examination and redressing of the wound. Pascal made him promise not to poke around again before he left to get the soup.

Damen sat beside Laurent and checked his brow again. He was still warm, but he clearly had plenty of energy.

“Oh, are you a physician now?”

“Hush.” Damen braced his arms on either side of Laurent’s legs and leaned in to kiss him softly. 

Laurent allowed it, his lashes brushing Damen’s cheeks.

“Jord wants to see you,” Damen said after he pulled back. “He’s worried. They all are.”

That seemed to surprise Laurent, but he hid it quickly. “I don’t know if it’s good for a ruler to be seen in this state.”

“I don’t think he cares.”

Laurent chewed on his bottom lip for a moment before he nodded. “Alright. Let him in.”

When Jord came in, he bowed immediately to Laurent. “Are you— I mean, I know you’re not okay, but, uh…”

Laurent waved him off. “I’m fine. It’s Damen who is spreading this dramatic tale of me almost losing my life. It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was that bad,” Damen grumbled.

Jord wasn’t fooled by Laurent’s fibs either. “I’d like to personally guard your rooms during your recovery, Your Majesty.”

“You cannot possibly stand out there for days on end.”

“I can and I will,” Jord said firmly.

Damen pinched his brow. “How about you rotate? You, Lazar, and Huet can trade shifts, and the Akielon guards will take the other post.” It was something they’d agreed upon after the castle was first built: their personal rooms would be guarded by one Akielon and one Veretain at the same time.

“Very well.” Laurent sunk a little deeper into the cushions. “But, as you can see, I am of optimal health and will be back to my duties shortly. There is no need to worry.”

Jord looked between Laurent and Damen for a moment, but he nodded and bowed again. “Thank you, Your Majesties.”

Laurent dismissed him, then asked Damen for help walking to the bathing chamber.

[reneesbooks]

lacuna snippet: the dragon purges

y'all voted for the dragon purges in the make me write poll--it won with 8 votes and i promised 10 sentences for each vote. This is a bit over 80 sentences, but i hope you will forgive me ;)

lacuna taglist (ask to be added <3): @serenanymph @lyssa-ink @oh-no-another-idea @lena-rambles @ashen-crest @tragicbackstoryenjoyer @serpentarii @allianaavelinjackson

under a cut bc she's long!

Maura folds her hands in front of herself, smiling at the assembled crowd. “Welcome and thank you for your presence at tonight's ball. I am honored to present the Emperor of Guildi, First Star of the Empire, Nikandros the Seventh, and his son, Crown Prince of Guildi, Second Star of the Empire, Leonnatos the First.”

The crowd applauds as the emperor and prince bow and smile. Maura continues, her voice carrying over the quickly hushed crowd. “Prince Leonnatos will select a partner for his first dance.”

The prince's face pales quickly as he surveys the crowd. Keelan thinks of how nervous he'd been the first time he'd been to Morbhard. He'd been Leo's age then. The prince looks more like he's going to throw up.

Leo finally turns to Maura with a smile and bows deeply. “I would be honored if our esteemed hostess would allow me her first dance.”

Maura's eyes dart to Keelan and someone in the crowd gasps. Keelan makes a mental note to speak to that someone later. Maura smiles at her cousin, setting her hand in his. “Of course, Your Highness. You do me a great honor.”

Keelan stands next to the emperor as Leo leads Maura through the first steps of a simple dance that he doesn't know the name of. He's awful at most court dances anyway, following Maura's lead as much as possible, so he doesn't need to know that kind of thing. Leo is three inches shorter than Maura. He doesn't appear to be leading either.

Nikandros doesn't deign to speak to a mere soldier, so Keelan is left to stew in his thoughts as Leo dances with Maura. He can feel eyes on him and does his best to school his expression into something that doesn't scream murder.

He's sure his eyes flash when Leo's hand touches Maura's waist, but he tries not to think about it. Leo's just a kid, and Keelan is being ridiculous. His fingers tighten on the hilt of his sword and he has to force himself to let go of it.

The two of them step apart and Maura's deep curtsy looks different from this angle. He doesn't like it. Maura calls for the guests to enjoy the ball and leads Leo over to some eastern duchess who immediately pushes forward a blushing son that bows shakily to Leo. Having successfully passed him off, Maura makes her way back towards Keelan. He feels tension drain from his shoulders with every step she takes up the steps of the dais. He takes his place at her side and she gives him a small smile. “Leo's an awful dancer,” she says quietly. “I pity that poor little duke from Hertfordge. He'll have bruised feet within an hour if Leo likes him as much as he likes Leo.”

Keelan snorts. “Are your feet going to be alright, then?”

“Oh, I trust I won't have to worry about any other dance partners stepping on my feet,” she says airily.

“Queen Maura,” Nikandros says, waving a dismissive hand at Keelan. “May we speak privately?”

“We may not.” She folds her hands in front of her and smiles at him. “I can't leave my guests and Sir Keelan is the only person in this city that I trust. Anything you wish to say to me I wish for him to hear. We may speak here, where I am still within view of my guests and am not abandoning them as their hostess, and where Sir Keelan can hear our conversation, so that he may advise me on your intentions.”

Nikandros's face is a bright red. “Queen Maura, this is not—”

“I beg your pardon, but this is Raedora.” Maura leans forward. “You will not scold me in my own castle, on my own lands, at my own ball.” She leans back, flicking an imaginary speck of dust off her silk skirt. “What is it you wished to discuss, Nick? It's looking like a good ball, and I'd hate to miss it.”

Keelan isn't sure he'll ever get tired of the way Nikandros's mouth opens and closes silently when Maura dismisses him like that. He's beginning to hope that Leo doesn't find somebody to marry at the ball, just so that he can watch this idiot playing at emperor get put in his place for another two weeks.

“I saw a dragon fly over the castle earlier today,” Nikandros finally says through gritted teeth. Maura turns to face the dancing crowd, tipping her head towards him to show that she's still listening. It's a courtesy that Keelan doesn't think Nikandros deserves, but he says nothing, just flicks his cloak over his sword so that the purple fabric hides it from view.

“That isn't an uncommon sight,” Maura says, measured. “There are many dragons in Raedora.”

“Why?” Nikandros demands. “Your father outlawed magic, didn't he? Didn't you?”

Maura turns her head to look at him. “What do you know of Raedora's laws? Are the Guildin Empire's laws not superior enough that you don't bother to learn how things are in the uncivilized lands?”

Nikandros blanches. “How do you know about that?”

“It was bold of you to have a conversation like that on one of my ships,” Maura says, acidic. “I spoke with Leo earlier and let him know that your little talk with him did not accurately reflect Raedora's customs. Hopefully he won't say something rude to one of his dance partners and embarrass himself.” She looks away from Nikandros again. “Really, Nick. You couldn't find diplomacy if I tied it to your dick. As for my father, he outlawed witchcraft. Dragons do not practice witchcraft, so the law didn't apply to them. Any further ignorant questions about my country, or have you finished insulting me for the day?”

Nikandros says nothing, his face progressing to a shade of purple.

“I will take that as a no.” Maura gives a shallow bend of her knees in his direction. “I believe I promised to speak with someone over there.”

Keelan follows her to the snack table, where she picks up a glass of champagne and drains it. “I could still kill him for you.”

“No,” she sighs, grabbing another glass from a passing server and sipping it this time. “It would be such a headache to cover up, and Leo doesn't deserve to lose his father, as incompetent as he is.”

“Hm.” Keelan snags a pastry off the table and pops it into his mouth. He chews for a moment, watching Nikandros pace on the dais, his eyes scanning the crowd. “Do you think Leo will be any better?”

“Not particularly.” Maura's eyes drift to where Leo is still talking to the future duke of Hertfordge. “But he's got a heart. It's more than can be said for his father.” She takes another swallow of champagne. “More than can be said for a lot of rulers.”

Keelan slides his hand along her waist. “Dance with me.”

She smiles around the rim of her glass. “You want to dance a quadrille?”

“I don't know what that is.”

“Of course you don't.” She laughs a little. “I'll have to do the rounds, greet the people who think themselves important.”

“Dance with me first.”

She rolls her eyes but lets him lead her to the dance floor.

[tschulijulesjulie]

he truly is having the best time of his life

[kadajchan]

CP needs more Auguste lives AU, so poor Nikandros can have some one to b!tch about lamen. Poor guy is absolutely done .

[magiclamd]

Laurent: How can you trust me after what your brother did to you?

Damen: Because he was false and you are true. You are the truest man I have ever known

Nikandros: WHAT THE FUCK AM I, CHOPPED LIVER?!

[laurnotofvere]

I’m working on a Modern AU right now and for reasons unknown, the first career choice that came to mind for always suffering Nikandros was middle school science teacher.

Friends, I can’t refute that.

[tototalks]

Just over halfway through King’s Rising and am eating up all this drama lol. Welcome back weird tension, I have missed you 👀

- And we resume with that poor Veretian boy being taken advantage of by Makedon’s troops. I’m glad Damen sorted that cruelty out. I’ve always liked Damen’s character for his sense of honour, but I LOVE the uncomfortable acknowledgement that he himself was complicit when it came to keeping and participating in the slave trade, and this is a lesson that he is coming to learn.

- Shoutout to Paschal just because. Keep being unproblematic, king.

- Nikandros is just like, so done. 😂 This man sees, knows, and acknowledges that his best friend will see a pretty blond red flag and is but a charging bull.

- The era of weird tension has truly begun again. Laurent is so so petty and I’m so so here for it - that “good boy” for Isander was not, in fact, for Isander.

- This has solidified my belief that we should start having messy fights in public again, because what I wouldn’t give to be some random nobility standing in a hall sipping a dacqueri while Barius Big Balls straight up asks the kings of two nations whether or not they’re fucking 💀

- Damen was an ‘Again! Again!’ kid and you cannot tell me otherwise, except he didn’t want you to read a nursery rhyme, he wanted a whole damn performance of the Akielon Iliad lol

- “Let’s fuck.” - Ah yes, that infamously makes everything better.

- The little girl saying Prince Damianos killed her family and ransacked her village? Ouch.

- The fight between Laurent and Damen was everything I wanted. They’re so well matched in such different ways. Damen is strong and steady, but unyielding, and Laurent is quick and sly, and relies on his wits. With his defeat, Laurent knows he wasn’t good enough to best Damen just as Auguste wasn’t good enough either. There was nothing he could have done.💔

- “I could have done this any time when I was a slave.” And they’re both so RIGHTEOUSLY mad about loving one another because they had no business falling in love, and yet they did. I’d be mad if the universe pulled that kind of bullshit on me too. Like wtf.

- Laurent watches Damen wrestle naked and suddenly the Akielon games are hosted in Vere this year 😏

- Nik: “You surely didn’t suck his dick?”

Damen: “… I might have sucked his dick.”

Nik: “I cannot defend you anymore.” HELP THIS MAN 😭

- Makedon has one drink with Laurent and is going around like yes hello, this is my new best friend!! He’s from Vere!! We’re going hunting actually!!

- The information that Laurent is a lightweight is valuable and precious, but the tonal shift from “I miss you” to “yes uncle” has me chewing on drywall and boiling my teeth. 🫠

- Love how Nik has given up trying to talk to Damen about Laurent, so he just does the equivalent of shoving a box of condoms at him and leaves 😂

- Well hello, Jokaste! 👀 Cannot wait for her to gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss her way around this.