#poop ive done

[hysterical-cats]

Some Cassandra would be really nice! :D

Cassie is a real popular lady to get two requests!!

[carpbait]

are you a smart feller or a fart smeller

[bunnyboy-juice]

depression who 💅🏽

[zeraphiimm]

I think I need to write for my mlp au.

[orcelito]

Unsure if I've lost the thread for ladue or if I'm just exhausted

Probably more the latter tbh. I hope.

[erythristicbones]

..........pics to come later tonight probably, but i may have bought Breadstick a friend

[galaxyslime]

Really upset I quit my job for a job that requires random drug testing and my fingerprints wtaf................

[corvidaequeer]

What's your pet's nightly routine?

[monarchberrysblog]

𝑼𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍

part one — nasty dog 🐕

An inspired baby daddy au from @yougavemeyourheartyouknow as I wanted to add my own spin to it!

🥏 summary: you and miguel meet for the first time…

🥏 content warning: suggestive content ahead! miguel is a little perv. (ooc miguel), poor dog training tips (I've never owned a pet, period, so don't take my word for it.) and slow ahh, character introduction, and lastly, cheesy rom-com layout.

🥏 word count: +2.0k words (I might have over done it....)

🥏 author’s notes: ive been so excited to post this! I hope you all enjoy and thank you for taking the time to read as well 💙 I do apologize for not posting as it has been a difficult time for a lot of people including myself other than that, thank you for reading 🥹

🛝 not proofread! 🛝

As the minutes passed, the little puppy unleashed an unrelenting chorus of barks and yaps, desperately seeking attention from its indifferent owner. With each eager yap, it yearned to escape the confines of the cramped apartment studio, dreaming of the wide-open spaces of Central Park.

The tiny puppy dashed energetically across the glossy laminated floor, its pink leash dangling playfully from its mouth. As it eagerly pranced about, it suddenly skidded to a halt, only to miscalculate its stop and bump gently into the corner of a nearby side table.

The impact drew a soft whine from the floppy-eared pup, adding a touch of vulnerability to its spirited spunk. With determination shining in its bright eyes, the little dog shook off the moment, its fur ruffling, and then set off at full speed toward a specific bedroom, its tiny paws pattering in excited rhythm.

The thought of stretching its tiny legs amidst the soft grass was nothing more than a distant hope, an innocent wish for freedom that seemed far too extravagant to fulfill. A fulfill that is a need than a want.

The puppy sneaks in between the open crevice between the door and the doorframe. Its little nails scrape against the wooden floor and stop at the bedside. The puppy drops the leash on the floor before confidently yapping its little barks to its owner.

The puppy whines in defeat before its dark eyes lock on the throw blanket, and a little idea forms. With a big bite, the puppy bites on the fabric and plays a round of tug-of-war against the blanket. The little idea finally works, as its owner wakes up and tugs the blanket back towards them.

“Bella, por favor!” You groan, firmly grasping the blanket and tug. The puppy, Bella, growls and yanks.

Despite the satin pink ribbons decorating her ears to give her an innocent look, the puppy was far from it. She growled lowly from her chest cavity, yanking on the lilac blanket.

“Let go!” You strain through gritted teeth but get a harsh bark from the puppy, causing you to drop the blanket quickly.

Bella yips and rolls around the blanket, losing her small figure in the fuzzy material. You sit on your bed now, looking at the hyperactive puppy rolling around your laminated floors like a piglet in a mud hole. You blow a heavy exhale, effectively blowing a strand of hair away from your face.

“The chick at the shelter wasn't kidding…” You exhale and rub your eyes. The tiny puppy continues to roll about before she stops as if she remembers why she wanted to raise chaos into the morning. She fetches her leash, wagging her tail.

You groan and nod. “Only for fifteen minutes. To pee and poop.” You drag yourself out of bed, taking your blankets down with you.

She does a victory lap around you as you muster the courage to step out of your apartment. “Give me a minute, Bella…”

“Hey, just to let you know, this pupper is active.” The young woman warns, mindlessly chewing on her gum while holding her clipboard. Her sharp eyeliner slices into your ego as she continues with the uncomfortable blank stare while mindlessly writing something on the adoption papers. “Yeah, don't worry.” You dismiss before sticking a testing finger into the cage. The cocker spaniel puppy eagerly licks your pointer finger before barking and running laps around her keddle.

“No, I'm for real. She lives to cause chaos.” The young woman shrugs and tugs at the sleeves of her sweater.

You dismiss her warnings with a shrug before standing up straight and nod. “I’ll take…”

“Bella.” The young woman finishes your sentence before handing you an pen and the clipboard with the adoption forms.

“Yes. Bella.”

“Congratulations, you adopted a friend.” She monotonously announces and hands you a package. “Puppy pads. You'll thank me.” She huffs, grabbing the clipboard and writing a couple things down on your documents.

And here you are. In Central Park in your Hello Kitty pajama bottoms with a loose sweatshirt that is too stretched out. Your hands rest on your hips while looking down at your puppy. She only looks up at you with small whimpers filling the space. “Did you pee or poop?” You exhales, putting your hands down in defeat. Bella only whines out a sound of distaste, tilting her head to the side.

“Isn't this what you wanted? You won't go on the puppy pads.” You question the tiny canine as if it could understand your words. She continued to look up at you with big eyes while whining.

“What could you possibly want?” You groan, covering your face in defeat. “You haven't pooped since yesterday!”

Through the crevices of your fingers, you look at Bella and see her back on her paws, her little tail wagging. A glint of mischief is in her eyes. “Don’t think about it” you mouth before her little legs bolt off. “Bella!” You exclaim and chase the small puppy immediately after. “Come back here!”

Bella races ahead, her excited barks shattering the tranquility of Central Park as she bounds through the autumn landscape. With each leap, she sends a cascade of crunchy, raked leaves spiraling into the air, creating a chaotic whirlwind around her. "Bella! No!" You shout, your voice mingling with the rustling leafage as you sprint after her, heart pounding against your ribs.

Her marathon comes to a close as Bella runs down a gentle slope in the park, captivated by the enticing aroma of sweet bananas wafting through the air. The puppy halts abruptly, her ears perked and her nose twitching with excitement as she nudges her damp, button-like nose against the young man's calf, eagerly pleading for a taste of the delicious snack he had at hand. The royal blue cap contrasted the grey sweatpants and sneakers he had on, making him stick out like a sore thumb, but it was enough to pinpoint where he was at the bottom of the steep hill.

“Hey, little one,” he chuckles, a warm smile spreading. He crouches down, extending his hand toward the playful pup. Bella's tail, wagging furiously, responds enthusiastically. She licks his fingers clean from the banana residue and lets out cheerful yaps before darting around him in joyful circles.

“Bella!” You shout, shuffling down the steep slope towards your pup and man. “You are in so much trouble, missy—” You exhale. Your words are immediately muted as you barrel into the man at full speed.

Almost out of a cartoon, you roll down and crash land on each other, leaving your puppy and personal belongings behind. Bella yaps before the sound is muffled, still trailing behind you and the stranger down to the flat land.

“I am so sorry…” You stumble about, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It's okay, nena.” He groans and props himself up on his elbows. “You okay?” He exhales. His trembling hands cups your cheek, brushing away any strands of baby hair away from your face. His touch is light, tracing your soft skin and brow. “I’m fine,” You pause and swallow dryly reducing the patchy spot in your throat. “Where’s Bella?”

The puppy's yaps filled the personal bubble between you as she jumped, her collars ringing from her name tag and leash.

“Does that answer your question?” he chuckles, his touch still gentle. But in all seriousness, no problems breathing or dizziness?” His tone is even and mellow, decompressing the chaotic mess you pushed him into. Quite literally. “I can breathe, but having two hundred-something pounds against my chest would be a counterintuitive statement. Please get off of me.” You exhale.

“Of course…” He scrambles off of you and pulls you up from the dead pile of leaves that cushioned the fall.

You dust off the brown and orange leaves that cling onto your pajama bottoms before squatting down to pick up Bella. “I am so sorry about that! Bella isn't used to the outdoors other than her potty time.”

He chuckles before scratching the back of her floppy ears. “Puppy training?” He questions before pulling his hand away and adjusting his baseball hat. “Yeah? The shelter says she has no self-control.” You again swallow and squat down to fish the end of the leash. “It's been delayed because I'm working two jobs now, and it's hard to squeeze it in.”

“Right…” He acknowledges. His eyes wander down, taking in your squat formation. The pajama bottoms didn't do any justice to conceal as they only amplified your figure more, more specifically, the swell of your rear. His eyes stay glued on “you” momentarily, and he looks away when you get back up from fishing the collar through the dead leaves on the grass.

“Once again, I am sorry.” Your cheeks flush a bright red, your ears joining your cheeks. His eyes dart around, looking at a tree from the distance instead of the swell of your rear begging to be looked at. "Right." He stops and clears his patchy throat, his mind running to think of another disinterested response. "I mean, I understand." He nods, shifting his weight on his two feet. "My dog, Apollo, was like that when he was a puppy." He nods, mindful of the pace.

You nervously laugh, attempting to save the conversation from being anything but awkward and suffocating. "That's so funny..." You mumble before hoisting the small puppy up into your arms more. "Well, I better get going, Bella needs to have breakfast."

"Wait," His voice is coarse and parched before he clears his throat and calls out again.

"Let's start over again. I'm Miguel." He stammers, a rosy tone in his cheeks appearing despite the lip of his cap barely hiding his features. You turn to face him again and smile, introducing yourself.

"I would like to get to know you better."

Seeing a German Shepherd smelling the cocker spaniel pulled your heartstrings before the small puppy barks at the giant dog, causing the canine to retreat—the puppy yaps before chasing the big dog around the mellow park. You giggle before crossing your arms over your chest. “You aren't wrong, Apollo is a gentle giant…” You sigh, seeing Bella continue the chase with her floppy ears bouncing.

“Told you,” Miguel chuckles, tilting the cap upwards. “He loves playing with puppies.”

His eyes move to you, lingering on you for a moment, and his gaze returns to the two canines playing. The giant canine returns to Miguel's side, with Bella yapping around the large canine. "Enough, Bella." You pick up the puppy, latch the pink leash on her collar, and place her gently on the grass. Bella looks up with pleading eyes, and a slight whine from the back of her throat is audible. "C'mon, it's time for breakfast. Say bye to Apollo." You demand the pup.

"I'll see you around, " you ask Miguel. Of course..." He exchanges a soft smile, a soft glisten in his eyes, seeking more. "C'mon..." You encourage the pup, tugging the leash. With a slight whine, she follows behind, her floppy ears bouncing with every step, leaving the two new companions behind in Central Park.

Bella turns around, her tiny body buzzing with excitement as she yaps joyfully. She barks a cheerful melody in the autumn air. She trots eagerly by your side, her fluffy tail wagging like a little flag, radiating pure happiness. Her moist button nose twitches as it delicately inhales the diverse scents drifting around, a mix of freshly cut grass and the tantalizing aroma of hot dogs sizzling on nearby grills.

Often, she glances up at you with wide, sparkling eyes, her expression a blend of playful mischief and undeniable affection. The park around her bustles with life, children’s giggles filling the air. The puppy's heart swells in excitement, anticipating the next unplanned playdate.

It wouldn't be the last time she saw Miguel or Apollo. There was going to be another next time. In her small conscious, she sensed an extended stay from the companions.

tag list:

@yougavemeyourheartyouknow @opaloharas @hyjionie @zaunsin @kavimoo @keiva1000 @slushycoookie

[iiapple]

do you hate knife as a character or what the fandom/his relationship with suitcase has turned into /genq

both

theres aspects to him i enjoy though usually its paired with another character's interactions with the general juvenile violence in season 1 - early season 2. knife and trophy's whole deal is so ridiculously stupid its laughable but in an enjoyable way where im kinda entertained. it can make for a lot of funny interactions that are just jabs at one another (and trophy getting the short end of the dick which is always funny). he and pickle are fun too even without the romancey shippinf component, they can be at a base just stupid gay bros that chill. while he was caught up in mic's business and did lend a hand in her arc, i do prefer how it is now where again, its just slight jabs and non melodramatic fun (add in soap to grill his ass, soapmic knickle video game sesh and soap is crushing everyone at it like hell)

however its the push of him needing to be this "philosophical deep guy who analyzes everyone correctly and its soooooo interesting how much hes changed" that really irks me. because i honestly dont buy it and just see a man who self pities under the guise of "learning and growing i help others now because ive changed". hes like balloon to me in that sense except hes able to keep it composed and together without becoming outwardly desperate. its honestly irritating how much of an involvement he has now and again, how much of a push there is to him being in the top 2 after "all his growth". i just dont give a fuck. why should i give a fuck about a man who burnt and harassed and bullied and tortured a woman in season 1 for fun, and had others try to join in on it too? and the GALL of him to even apologize to marshmallow for it too LOOOOOL... "ohhhh poor me im sorry marshmallow for hurting you before" pussy couldnt even state what he did to her, weak ass self fellating apology im SO glad marsh didnt accept it and was NOT kind about it in front of him. she shouldve start throwing rocks at him. all this "change and teaching" i will never forgive that man for what he did to women

not to mention, how practically of little to no help he was towards suitcase who, was dealing with bigger issues than he was as if hes fuckin get it. such bullshit advice and "lessons" hed tell her when its like dude, shut the hell up!!! youre saying the dumbest shit and still pinning it all against her somehow when shes been tossed around her supposed alliance because those 3 idiots couldnt get shit together for once. that AND her psychosis coming onto the foreground of it all of course shes not gonna talk about it further because you keep pushing in shit that she has no fault in, as if shedve trust you with that. its sweet that theyre working now against everything now but god lol, i just dont buy their newfound ammends and friendship of sort personally

what the fandom has done is REALLY hyopcritical. now im not gonna say its every single person who does this, nor am i a fan of monolith-ing (?) a group of people because of a common pattern, but its just really REALLY funny seeing people going after pairings like lairy or whatever saying its "proship" while shipping a man who has a history of violence on women with a psychotic woman who he has offered piss poor assistance to in the name of his own weird beliefs of changing and helping. idgaf for discourse around a bunch of pixels over trivial shit that really isnt THAT big of an issue (lairy discourse), especially because well, theyre wrong as fuck, but how are people gonna say one thing then turn around and do The Same Shit under another flavour. knifecase is such a kick in the balls to women and another example of how fandom greatly prefers men over women WHATEVER the situation is. theyll fawn over a man whos done shit and think "yeah hes my poor onglydoople poop. only HE suffers in this work of media" while greatly ignoring the issues the women in the same piece of work deal with by writing (misogyny) and circumstances (misogyny again). this world is founded immensely on misogyny and we're never getting the fuck out of it and while yeah im ranting about object character violence being sexist/misogynistic, you gotta get that its all a repeated pattern of these behaviours these mentalities this culture. you can argue one thing about writers intentions and beliefs, we dont know these people well enough to point fingers and label. however, how are YOU digesting it? shitting it out? what is your overall take and without using gay fandom buzzwords and misogynist thinking describe the women in the show (rhetorical)

[blood-mocha-latte]

so i made a quiz a minute back and there was a question about my guinea pigs and a lot of people. followed up on that and wanted to know more lmao. AND if you've been here for even .5 seconds you are aware that i. love talking about my pets so let's get into it

i. Perdita Sue

name: -- perdita for 101 Dalmations (since she's black and white) -- sue for Sue Hendrickson (a world renowned paleontologist)

fun fact: as stated by the quiz she fucking. loves her water bottle. when she was a baby we were worried she had a blockage in her throat because she kept slamming it back against the wall of the hutch REALLY LOUDLY and her sister didn't do that. so we took her to the vet. nothings wrong. maybe it was just a thing when she was a baby no. no she just really fucking loves her water bottle and likes making it really loud

worst experience: she cut her paw open on a piece of hay when she was about a year and a half old and was bleeding SO FUCKING MUCH i almost missed a class final to stay home with her. she was fine lol

best experience: she likes to shake hands. i have a photo of this somewhere. if you put your hand down in the hutch she'll run over and put both her paws in your palm so you can "shake" them it's the funniest fucking thing

ii. Mei Rosalind

name: -- mei for my fiancee's middle name lmao (lenora-mei) -- rosalind for Rosalind Franklin (biochemist who discovered the structure of dna)

fun fact: again as in the quiz, she likes sunbeams. a whole fuckin' lot. like, too much. it was about noon and i walked into the room they're in and she was on her back. lil paws in the air. and i thought she was Fucking Dead but no. she was just sunbathing

worst experience: she once sneezed in my mouth and i thought i was gonna die

best experience: when i was studying for my organic chem final she slept on my desk the whole time and just generally kept me from Flipping The Desk and giving up lmao

iii. Meg Helen

name: -- meg for meg jay (clinical psychologist on adult development) -- helen for. helen keller. bc she's blind

fun fact: the only guinea pig we got from a pet store, who we weren't actually going to get. but she was curled up in the corner of a too small cage and was obviously miserable, so we ended up biting the bullet and adopting her. took her to the vet, vet told us she is The Most Blind Animal she has ever had the pleasure of meeting. take that as you will

worst experience: we got her when she was just a little over a week old and she had to be quarantined from the others. we ended up having to switch off and sit with her at night because she'd cry the whole time and she has the saddest fucking wheek

best experience: she has the croakiest voice of all time. we're pretty sure it's the same genetic inbreeding problems that made her blind, but it doesn't hurt her and it sounds Hilarious. when she finally got out of her quarantine hutch and to her real one (which is 45 feet squared lmao) she didn't stop popcorning and squeaking for fifteen minutes. i cried my fiancee cried i took a video and sent it to my parents and they cried it was a day

iv. Piper Florence

name: -- piper for the pied piper of war because she's the leader and the others follow after her like she's the. the pied piper -- florence for florence nightingale because again if you've been here for more than .5 seconds you know that i am a. healthcare bitch

fun fact: once jumped out of the hutch and then just stood in the middle of the room because she didn't know where to go. is Best Friends with meg and shows her where everything is in the hutch when we have to change it/replace objects. she does not like sue and ignores her. just doesn't like her there's nothing to be done

worst experience: we thought she had ovarian cancer about a year ago because she was lethargic/sick/swollen etc for a long period of time. tracking her poop what she ate all of that etc etc. turns out that she had a cyst which was still a fucking nightmare, but hey at least it wasn't cancer

best experience: when my fiancée got really sick a few years back piper would just sit on her chest and purr. it was cute and needed and she's fuckin BEEN there man she's basically our dog

anyways that's it. congratulations if you got through it all lmao. i also have four cats (i am. not good at fostering) and a dog so maybe i'll make a post about them idk. ok bye

[sourweather]

My mom is a nurse so I like to occasionally hit her up when I'm working on a fic and say something like "hypothetically if you had a patient..."

Anyway she's just given me the Adam Stanheight Post-Trap Care Plan

Text under Read More

[Transcript: text conversation with 'Mom'

Sender: If you had a patient whod been deprived of food for like 5 days, what would their treatment look like? I'm assuming all fluid diet at first

Mom: Probably fluids. Clear liquid advance as tolerated. Which means we would make sure he could swallow and then if he does good with fluids give him soft and if that's ok then go to whatever. If he couldn't swallow easily or chew well due to soreness or injuries or what have you, stay with soft. If they get choked we would do thick liquid and if they couldn't do that, only iv fluids and be npo. Nothing by mouth

Sender: Okay! Yeah he was basically locked in a room for five days lol so I was trying to figure out how arduous the healing process would be (aside from the mental trauma obviously) He was injured but nothing vital, he was shot in the shoulder so I mean blood loss but no organ damage or anything.

I was reading that apparently it can lead to your electrolytes getting out of whack? Something about phosphorus deficiency?

(although I suppose given the whole kidnapping thing there's definitely a chance his wound might've gotten infected but Ive already done lots of reading about bullet wound infections haha)

Mom: Is he in the er?

Sender: That's probably where the police would take him when he was found, right?

Mom: Yep. He would be getting a lot of fluids. And antibiotics probably two kinds. Tetanus shot.

Temperature control with warm fluids and warm blankets and warm room temp. Catheter for monitoring input and output. All the monitors: cardiac, oxygen saturation, blood pressure every 15 mins for 2 hours. Chest X-ray and all the labs. Probably his potassium would be high because he's dehydrated which would make him have shortness of breath chest pain dizziness...plus his mouth is probably dry and stuck to his teeth and stuff. That's the way people look when they are "found down" after some days. Covered in their urine and or poop. With low temps. Septic.

Low blood pressure. Weak as hell. From the wound infection.

This is fun for me I guess it's obvious (laughing while crying emoji)

Might even have to give vasopressors to make his blood pressure come up. If your bp is low, you aren't getting any blood to your organs.

And/or oxygen

But if he's just hungry and weak, you can actually make it without food. If you have water. But you need good calories to heal wounds. So I'm going drastic. ]

[horny4hetfield]

Rockies Christmas - Day 11

Warnings:  Hospital stay, Shameless Product Placement, Fluff – I guess

Guide: CBF = Cali’s Boyfriend / CGF = Castor’s Girlfriend / MBF = Marcella’s Boyfriend {I didn’t want to give them names}

It’s still very dark out the window.  Damn but hospital beds suck.  Especially when you’re sharing one.  But I would not have slept anywhere else.  Still cradled in James’ arm.  His bruised body next to mine.  His face, a little less swollen.  Remembering his split helmet still in his truck, I shudder.  This could have been so different.  I try to detangle myself, but James tugs me gently.  “James, I gotta pee.”

He grunts softly.  “I could piss too.”

“Well, let go of me and I’ll help you.”  I kiss his chest.

“mmmmk”

I climb out of the bed, retrieve the bottle and put it in place.  “Ready when you are.”

“Fire!” he smirks.

I put the gown back and flip the covers back up over him when he’s done.  I quickly make it into the bathroom.  When I’m done and washed – leaving the bottle under the sink – I retake my spot next to him.  His arm pulls me closer.  My eyes close.

I blink awake to the room filled with bright sunshine to find the nurse and doctor in the room.  “I suppose I should move, huh?”

“It would make checking the patient a little easier” the doctor laughs gently.

I slide out of the bed and step out of the way.

The doctor gives James a thorough go over, including rolling him to the side to inspect his back.  The nurse whispers into my ear, “Has he had a bowel movement yet?”

“Not yet.”  I look at her, “Should he have?”  She nods.  “Find me a tool catalog.”  I get a look.  “Trust me on this” I grin back.

“Ok.”  She is obviously thinking, “This might take a bit.”

“Check with the maintenance guys.”

She nods, “Yes!  Great idea!”

“What’s a great idea?” James asks as he rolls gently to his back.

The doctor pats his stomach, “You pooping.”  He totally deadpans it.

I snort softly and James laughs.  Not hard, but enough.  He toots.

“That’s a start!” the doctor smiles.   Reaching for the IV lines, “I understand that you know how these work.  Let’s pop the line off for now and see how you do.”  He removes the IV lines, hanging them from the IV bag holder.  “Leave these in” he instructs as he tapes the ports to James’ arms.  “Before I go, let’s make sure you can stand.  Using a bedpan is the worst.”  Looking at me, “Do you think you can help him?”

“I’m gonna try” as I move to the bed.

James flips the covers back and I help him get his feet untangled from the sheet.  He stands holding tightly on to the bed.  Right leg is good.  Left leg, not really happy.  I move to that side, wrapping my arm around his waist and put his arm around my shoulder, “Lean” I say.  It takes us a bit, but we get into the bathroom.

Grabbing the ADA rails, James sinks on to the toilet, “Might as well try to go while I’m in here.”

“Want me to leave?”

“You’re not gonna want to be trapped in here” as he toots again.

“I’ll get some spray” I smile exiting and closing the door.  The nurse is right there with a can, smiling.  “Thanks!”  Looking at the bathroom door, “Can I please get a second gown for him?”  She nods and disappears out the door.   Looking at the bed, it’s already been changed.  The new sheets and blankets flipped back waiting for James.  The nurse returns with the second gown.  “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome.”  She pats my shoulder, “At least he’s not being super demanding.  There was a movie star in here that was just a pain!”  She grins at me.  “You got him from here?”  I can hear beeping down the hallway.

“Yeah, I’m good.”  She leaves.  I hear the toilet flush.  Then the sink running.  I crack the door open and spritz the can into the room and close the door.  I can hear him laugh.  Opening the door, he’s leaning on the sink, the hospital gown open in the back.  His bum fully exposed.  “That’s a sight!”  He wiggles it grinning at me through the mirror.  I see the bruises on his back.  “Can you stand a minute more?  I want to put arnica on these.”

“Actually, it feels good to stand.”

I quickly find the bottle and tenderly rub some of the oil into his back, hip and the back of his thigh.  Bending over, I get his shin.  He rests his hand on my lower back, “If I felt better…”

I stand up looking into his wicked grin, “Soon” as I gently rub his penis through the thin fabric.  He groans softly.

“Where are you, Dad?”

“Here, let’s get this on you.”  I pull the second gown on him with the closure in the front covering up his bare ass.  “Be right out!”

I open the door and the kids are all there.  James leans on me to get out of the bathroom.  Castor smacks CBF on the arm.  “Here let us” Castor takes his dad’s arm from me, “We’re a little better height wise.”

“Thanks son.”  James is slow but getting more confident with his left knee.  “Would you mind if we walk the hallway a bit?”

“Not at all Mr. Hetfield.”

James stops and looks CBF, “Call me James.  You are officially part of this family now.”

Cali giggles, “Told you!”

James starts walking, “Forward into the hallway!”

“Isn’t that forward into battle, Dad?” Marcella asks.

“Technically yes, but I am not quite ready for battle” James smirks back.

“I’m going to let you kids take this round.  I want to freshen up some.”

Cali grabs my purple bag and hands it to me.  “I thought you’d like to change clothes.”

I grab her upper arms, “Thank you!” I say a little over dramatically.  She chuckles and follows the others.  I step into the bathroom and close the door.  Grandmother would call what I do a whore’s bath: wet soapy washcloth on the major points.  Face, Pits, Crotch.  In that order.  Then rinsing the cloth out, a wipe down.  Granted, not a full shower, but I do feel better.  I pull on the extra cloths from the bag and stuff the dirties in.  I use the brush quickly on my hair and redo my ponytail.  I’m exiting the bathroom when the little parade re-enters the room, the nurse trailing them in.

James sinks into the bed.  The nurse helps him get his legs under the covers.  Seeing his face a little pale, she says “I think you’re going to want this back.”  She pulls the IV line and reattaches it to the port.  She tapes it securely in place.  “I’ll make it a slow drip.  If you need more, well…” she smiles knowingly at James.  Turning to me, “I’ll check in again later.”  I smile my thanks.

“Hey Dad, what do you want for lunch?”

James lets his head fall back, “A Hopdoddy Bacon Classic!”

“Ahh yes!!  I was hoping you’d say that!” Castor’s face lights up.  “Fries?”

“Both.”

Turning to me, “What would you like?” Castor asks me.  I shrug. 

“Get Kira the Doddy Melt, hold the Comeback sauce on a regular bun.  Or sourdough if they have it.”  James smiles at me, “You’ll love it.”

“Shake?” Castor’s grin is wide.

“Two regular Salted Caramels, please” James is almost drooling.

I dig into my bag, find my wallet and pull out some cash.  I hand it to Cali, “Use this.”

“That’s way too much!”

“What?  You guys aren’t going to eat?”  She smirks at me.  “So, bring me the change.”  I smile back at her.  “And that should cover transportation too.”

“We’ve been using the car service.”  CGF suddenly looks like she said something wrong.

“That’s fine” James grins from the bed.  “Probably cheaper than taxis anyway.  And you’re all in one vehicle.”  There’s a chorus of yeahs and yeses as the kids head to the door.

“Hey!  Don’t forget lots of napkins!” I call out.

“Got it!” comes a couple of responses.

James pats the bed.  I find the bottle of arnica, “This first.”  I pull up the hospital gowns to get to his torso.  I tenderly rub the oil over all the purple spots.  They look horrid.  I gently pull the gowns down and put some on his arm. 

James has closed his eyes.  “That feels good” he rumbles softly.

Wiping off my hands, “The pain meds have kicked in, huh?”

“Not yet.  Just your fingers on my skin feel really good.”  He lifts his head and looks at me.  “When I was in ICU, I had the worst mental image.  Me paralyzed from the neck down.  Not being able to ever feel you again.  Or hold you.”  He scrubs away the tears before they can even fall.

I sit on the bed facing him.  “I cried in the shower that night.”  My hand resting on his belly.  “I take that back.  I sobbed.  I’d spent the helicopter flight in with my own mental images.  The worst was that you’d end up living the horror of your own song.”  I let my tears fall.

“I’m so sorry about all this…”

“James” I cut him off.  “We could have spun out or hit black ice in the Shelby.”  I rub his belly.  “It wasn’t our time then.  This” I wave my hand over his body “isn’t your time either.  The kids have assured everyone who will listen that you weren’t showboating when this happened.  They said that you’d gone to investigate new snow, that your machine started to sink in that snow, so you powered it up some.  And that’s when you turtled.”  I watch James’ face as he nods.  “Castor says that your snowmobile is completely trashed.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.  But my machine didn’t sink.  I hit something.”

“I saw your helmet, James.”  More tears leave trails down my cheeks.  “If you’d not been wearing it, we’d be planning your funeral.”

He blanches some, “That bad?”

“James.  I wasn’t joking when I said it’s been split in two.  From here” I point to my hairline “to here” my hand stops just past the crown of my head.

He scrubs away another tear.  “Someone upstairs was looking out for me.”  He grabs my hand, “Again.”

I grin, “Being a Leo, you have now used 4 lives.  Please don’t use anymore!”  My fingers trace the flames tattooed there.  I look into his face.  “It wasn’t your time.  You have a grandchild that you need to meet.” 

His head falls back, “I still can’t believe that I’m going to be a Grandpa!”  He looks at me, “So what will that make you?”

“GG” I shrug.  His eyebrows knit together, “Grandpa’s Girlfriend.  What else?” I smirk at him.  He tugs my arm.  I take the hint and lean up over him, planting a deep kiss on him.  I heave a sigh as we pull apart.

“What?”

“I haven’t kissed you in two days.”

He pulls me in for another kiss.  After, “Then we have some kissing to make up on.”

I kiss the end of his nose, “Not here.”  His eyebrows furrow together.  “Because that kind of kissing leads to … well … other activities” as I raise an eyebrow wantonly.

He nods.  “Yeah, this bed is not big enough for those.”

“This bed is barely big enough for you!”  I giggle, turn around and lay down next to him.  He grabs the TV controller and finds the news.  I am rather surprised that he actually watches the whole program.  I rock my head back to look up at him.  “Making sure that I’m not page six” he grins.

“Ahhh” I say, snuggling in a little closer. 

He scrolls to the movie offerings.  We find one that is fairly long and start it.  His fingers play with my ponytail.  The movie is about a quarter through when the kids come waltzing back into the room.

Our burgers are handed out.  James sits on the bed, and we share the bed table.  The boys sit on the floor.  Mine is delicious.  James giggles watching me take my first bite.  The milkshake is thick and creamy with lots of caramel.

“We made a second stop.”  Cali pulls out a box.

James’ eyes fly wide open, “Dirty Islander!”

Grinning, “Yeah, we had to get a couple of these for you!”  She pulls out two rather large cookies that look like James’ eye.  “Black Eye Concussion cookies!”  The room erupts in laughter.  James laughs the hardest, holding his ribs.  Cali points to a couple of others, “These are mine.”

“What are they?” I ask.

“They’re called Mum I’m Preggo!”  Again, the room erupts in laughter.

I pass on the cookies – for the time being – as I still have half a shake left.  I sit and watch the kids and James interact.  He is most decidedly getting better.

The burger wrappers were gathered up and tossed out.  The boys take James for another hallway run.  Cali approaches me, “Kira?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”  She was almost in tears.  I gently pull her into a hug.  “I’m sure these are just the hormones” as she scrubs her eyes, “but I wanted to say thank you for everything.  You were so calm.”

“I guess I got that from my Grandmother.  I don’t think I ever saw her lose her cool.  She always told me that to panic is to lose time and to lose time could be very bad.”

Nodding, “I hope I can be that cool.”  She rubs her belly.

“I hope you never have to.”  I hug her again.

I can hear the boys coming back down the hallway laughing.  Evidently James has been in bad dad joke heaven with the boyfriends, as Castor keeps groaning loudly.  They enter the room and James is walking without help.  A nurse is following.

“Now, don’t you overdo!” the nurse scolds him.

“Naw, he’s just showing off” Castor grins.

James sinks onto the bed, “Yeah, I was that time.”

“All right kiddoes, the adults need nap time” the nurse says with a wink at me and a smile for the others.  “Oh!  Dirty Islander!  May I?”

James motions towards the box, “Please.  But check with Cali which ones are hers.”  The nurse gives James a questioning look.  “She’s pregnant” he dramatically whispers.

The nurse looks around.  Marcella and Castor point to their sister.  “You look great!”  Cali blushes and rubs her belly.  “Now, which ones are yours sweetie?”  The nurse picks out a cookie, “Now out.  All of you kids, out.”

There is a chorus of Byes as they are hustled out the door.  Munching on her cookie, the nurse nods her thanks.  James finishes getting back into the bed.  He pats the bed on his right side.  I grab the extra blanket and climb in next to him, his arm pulls me close.  He heaves a sigh.

“You good?” I look into his face.

“Yeah.  Actually I am.”  He sniffs a laugh, “I still can’t believe that Cali is pregnant.  That I’m going to be a Grandpa.”

I stroke his stubbly cheek, “Well.  Ya are.  Mighty Grandpa Het.”

He snorts a laugh, “That doesn’t work!  I’ll have to come up with something new!”  He tightens his arm around me.  I grab the tv controller and we pick a movie.  He’s gently snoring about halfway through.  I heave a sigh and snuggle up closer.

I feel James shifting.  “You ok?”

“Gotta go.”

I unwrap my arms from him, push him vertical, “You got this?”

Nodding, “Yeah, I think I’m good.”  He grabs the IV bag and closes the bathroom door behind him.  I am scrolling through the movie selection when I hear the toilet flush.  Then water running.  James closes the door behind him, “You’ll want to give that a bit.”  He re-hangs the bag and sits on the bed.

I move up the bed and gently tug his shoulders, “Here.”  He rolls into me on his right side, his right arm sliding under my shoulders, his left arm with the IV port drapes over my ribs, his head on my shoulder, his nose against my neck.  My left arm wraps around his head, cradling it, my fingers softly playing with his silvered locks.  I start another movie.  I feel him sag into sleep.  Part way through, I get a text from Castor asking if we need dinner.  I send him the snoring emoji and say thanks anyway.

I watch all of this movie.  James’ breathing is steady.  His fingers on my ribs twitch.  He’s probably writing a song in his sleep.  At least I hope that’s what he’s doing.  I smile and kiss his hairline.  The nurse comes in to check on James.  Seeing that he’s asleep, she takes what vitals she can without waking him.  She pulls the IV line from the port, taping the port in place.  Giving me the thumbs up, she departs the room, closing the door behind her.  My left fingers gently rub his scalp.  After starting another movie to kill the sounds of the hospital, I lay my right hand over his left arm draped over my ribs.  I don’t remember my eyes closing.

[x22817]

^Herz at the hospital earlier today

This was the only picture I was able to get because I had to undress and put all of my belongings once we got onto the surgery floor

Health update under the cut

Scopes are done!

I had an endoscopy (they stick a camera down your throat into your belly) and a colonoscopy today. My OBGYN noticed I had really severe hemorrhoids the last time I had a physical exam with her. She was concerned enough I was referred to a GI surgeon right away.

This bitch is the coolest doc I've ever met. She came in with cat scrubs, a fish bonnet, and raccoons in trash cans socks. We walked through my entire, not just GI related medical history in about 45 minutes. The biggest concern are the hemorrhoids which have been causing me major problems lately. I couldn't poop without bleeding so much I would come close to passing out.

I was immediately scheduled for my scopes for today and for my CT scan in a couple of weeks.

The last scopes I got, I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia, severe ulcers, diverticulitis, inguinal hernia, and "all-around general inflammation." I wasn't told what to do. Wasn't given any drugs or even supplements. Nothing.

All of my symptoms improved significantly when I was diagnosed with Addison's and started treatment. I also got much more strict with my diet. WFPB and a daily juice really helped a lot.

Alas, I never stopped having problems, then they suddenly got worse. Now we are here.

Having broken adrenal glads makes everything so much more difficult. This simple procedure had to be turned into a big event. When being sedated, I require an extra anesthesiologist who specializes with Addison's along with the regular anesthesiologist. This person is in charge of my 100mg injection of Sulocortef to substitute for my lack of cortisol.

The endoscopy revealed that I have really severe inflammation in my stomach along with the ulcers. This is probably why it always hurts to eat no matter what it is. The colonoscopy revealed that my hemorrhoids likely need surgery. We are happy I am not internally bleeding.

I have been given two medications that are supposed to help with the stomach issues. Fiber is the biggest thing that will help with the hemorrhoids outside of stitching them bad boys up. We are going to get a bidet because that helps with the pain, the bleeding, and cleanliness, though.

These are my least favorite health problems I have. I am not going to lie. I hate it all so much for so many different reasons.

BUT

I am so incredibly grateful for being heard by my doctors for the first time in my life. The nurse that did my IV, my specialist anesthesiologist, and my doctor herself all could not believe I had this procedure multiple times before and never treated for anything.

[dogpixie]

i love cass and its so awesome and cool seeing him grow but for real i think most ppl rly downplay how insanely hard and kind of shit the newborn stage is bc they dont wana sound ungrateful. sure lik i kno some extremely sane ppl actually fully enjoy it and maybe its my anxiety and ocd talking but this shit is harrowing hardcore, and is by far the hardest thing ive ever done. there are lots of sweet and rewarding moments of course but its nonstop. it feels like starting the hardest job ever tht u never clock out of and u get such little sleep which makes u feel insane and physically ill, baby relies fully on u esp if ur breastfeeding, u always feel dirty bc ur always getting milk and spit up and pee and sometimes poop on u.. u cant do sm of th things u used to... sorry not trying to b negative lik im so happy too but rly every week that passes im like oh thank god hes a little older!!!!!

[r-0-x-4-s]

so... i watched tottmnt and i didn't love it

also why isnt this show being hated on whaaaat, every tmnt show has to go through the initial hate, thats like the law /hj

tw opinions under the cut

it just felt so... empty?? i dont really know how to explain it but, the lack of brothers interacting and anything ninja related, kinda made me frown

why did it feel nothing like a tmnt show??? my brother said "it looks like it took some ideas from rottmnt and just... made it worse", and in a way i agree? its like, in a way, this show wants to please everyone but doesn't have the balls to go full original and new like rise did...

i was very optimistic about it before its release, the turtles in high-school is something i dreamed of when i was a child! AND THE SHOW JUST BLUE BALLED ME??? I GET JUST SOME MENTION ABT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IN SCHOOL BUT ITS NEVER SHOWN AND THAT MAKES ME GRRRR

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY FFS, doing something none of the show before had ever done but nooooo u get two mini arcs

and lets talk about these arcs:

bishop arc: i really liked the general plot of this one ok, but since the first ep i could see one of the main problems with tottmnt, EACH EP IS ABT A SINGLE TURTLE retelling their version of what happened in the same moment, that could be cool, BUT THAT MEANS THE BROTHERS INTERACT WITH EACHOTHER IN ONLY 2 EPISODES CIRCA

AND I HATE IT SM!

also why does everyone kinda have the same personality (by this i mean cus they react basically the same in every situation, apart if there's a computer/something technological, then donnie would use it/the other 3 would say something abt like "donnie could use it")

and they are so chill abt their problems (leo's self worth issues, raph's anger issues) ? like everything is so lighthearted and they already know how to deal and therapy talk??

i wonder how they will get to grow as characters cus as of now, they are already way more mature than any other tmnt version???

goldfin arc:... so???? IM TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY ABT IT REAL HARD, maybe it will come to me later so lets start with things i despise abt the show!

uno: I HATE THAT THEY PAIRED EACH OTHER WITH A "COUSIN", I WANT MY TURTLES INTERACTING WITH EO

deux: i hate that they have "cousins" 😭 why is every character related to them (tbf this was already from the movie so u can just ignore it) it makes the world sm smaller and takes out so many known villains... also i hate scum sm, also shes the turtles' cousin too so her relationship with splinter is kinda even weirder

(tbf it could be that i hate the cousins thing after i came back from my vacation surronded by my huge family, AND HAVING TO SPEND SO MANY DAYS WITH MY SO FUCKING MANY COUSINS)

три: the way that the stories are told, apart that it makes it look like nothing is canon? ive seen many fans confused about it, but i think that both stories actually happened. the only reason i dont like it is cus... it clashes with the choice of having a single turtle each ep so hard

like whats the point of starting the arc with a turtle narrating, but the next ep it will be focused on someone else?? and then ending it with the first one closing it like as if he had been the one talking all the time

quatro: uhhh by this time i found things i like so i want to talk about them too, but! i feel like this arc is so much worse than the bishop one and horrible for a closure.

the enemies are uhhhhh something, the stakes are lower than my will to live and we get poop jokes too <3

cinco: WHY DOES THE INTRO NOT HAVE LYRICS, EVERY TMNT INTRO IS A BANGER, THATS THE RULE!! U CANT BREAK IT OMG

six: WHERE IS MONDO GECKO, THE ONLY COUSIN I LIKED AND WANTED TO SEE MORE OF

sept: this leo isnt leoing and april's personality just being "girl with the phone and recording"

восемь: DONNIE AND MIKEY ALWAYS REFERENCING TO RANDOM AMERICAN PEOPLE OR OTHER POP CULTURE THINGS, I UNDERSTOOD 6% OF THEIR JOKES

by the second arc my brother started loudly sighing and glare at me every time donnie/mikey would make a "joke" we wouldn't understand, i started beating him to feel something

NOW THE STUFF I LIKED ABOUT THE SHOW

one: THE ANIMATION IS GREAT! im not the biggest fan of the artstyle but thats my personal bias, i like it being 2d! (i still like rise's animation and fluidity more, but THAT studio is impossible to beat, im still destroyed they dropped lmk <\3)

due: i liked the detective that hated birds, he brought a chaotic energy no one has in this show

três: THERE WASNT ANY APRILN4RDO THANK FUCKING GOD (i wrote this but then my brother made me notice the murales and now idk if i should take this out or myself)

четыре: i love hun and him being an animal activist is the cutest

and thats it ig?

tldr: i think its a mid series, it does nothing remarkably bad but it doesnt do anything remarkably good.

i finished and it left me nothing (it left me longing for more of rise actually)

though, its early to say it cus we have just 12 episodes! ofc i hope it will get better!!

(ALSO BEFORE SOMEONE SAYS ANYTHING ABT TARGET AUDIENCE, I WASNT EVEN IN THE RISE ONE AND I ENJOYED IT JUST FINE

also WHAT CHILD WOULD WATCH THIS OVER SOMETHING HYPERACTIVE AS RISE??? OR EDGY AS 2012/2003??? OR FUNKY AS 1987???)

also im autistic abt tmnt but in particular abt leonardo, i dont like this leo = my enjoyment of the show is very low

so until they get leo's character right, i will have spite in me