#pool bobbers

[save-the-choppers]

[localgardenweed]

Remembering its not socially acceptable to just swim in the lazy rivers like the best part was ditching the floaty and letting the current take you and swimming at the speed of sound cause of the jets pushing you along, wdym now that im a big kid I CANT JUST DO THAT????? Like how do you even live with yourself if you haven’t ditched your floaty and pretended the current was so strong as a kid that you couldn’t swim off to the exit to avoid going back to the hotel room, that was like the entire point of the lazy river for me. I would like let my arms dangle underwater to touch the bottom and push myself to go faster and i would swim under the water and go under people all the time and sure almost drowned but like i learned the name of the game bro. Best part if they had like sprayers or smth like that was awesome popping my head out and getting a little shower. The life guards hated me im so sorry you just had to be there to understand

[bl4ckorch1d]

SHACKLE // Buckthorne Woods

Male Naga OC / GN! Reader

1.5k Words || AO3

Slight horror themes.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The forest was almost deadly silent, an oddity for such a usually lively place. One place once visited by many turned abandoned acres. Though it wasn’t a mystery, the nation needed a specific place for the things they deemed ‘unsightly’ for their aesthetic modernized cities. It seemed not even the birds wanted to stick around, not wanting to become prey to either fangs or claws. 

Buckthorne Woods, a name known by many and feared just the same. It only seemed like a few years ago until the humans decided ‘monsters’ can’t roam free on their own free will anymore. Almost seems like they got bored of fighting themselves and moved on to a different area of the food tree. While the woods were certainly one of the largest in the nation, it still was nowhere near big enough to hold every ‘monstrosity’ that roamed the land; their population almost became cut in half due to this. Not much of a chance for a bloom either, while the forest dwellers stay among their own types and don’t fight with each other over land, most refuse to bring a child into such a hate-filled world. Some kinds are becoming almost extinct; mostly the less humanoid they look, the lesser their number is. 

A waterfall was all that truly broke the silence in this specific part of the forest, a beautiful sight almost no one will ever know exists. All that accompanied other than the lush forest greens was a small opening to a cavern, only lit by the sun shining into it.

═.✾. ═══════

The water rippled against the paddles that ran through it, a canoe accompanied by a lone fisher. Setting your canoe under light shading, between the endless green that surrounded your figure. With the paddle set aside, you are in high hopes for fish above the average. With your dominant hand gripping your fishing pole, in a single swoop, you swing the line into the water. A small splash accompanied the bobber as it broke the surface tension of the water. The rays of the sun crack through the open spaces of shade, your skin embracing the slight heat. Eyes steady for any slight pull, you sit there tense. A slight tug on the pole, “Finally, a bite.” you hum to yourself. As you go to start reeling in, your body suddenly drags forward, slamming at the edge of the canoe almost tipping over. You try balancing yourself all while whatever was hooked squirmed around violently in the water, splashing and sending slight waves in all directions. Stubbornly, you began pulling back in panic and hurry, but all this action resulted in was a loud snap. Your back harshly hits the bottom of the canoe, as it sways from side to side. “Damn it”, you thought to yourself, “Should have brought spares.”, as you looked down at the snapped pole.

  At this point, your only goal was to find your way home after that experience. The river only went in one direction, and you swore you remembered which way you came from. So why did it feel so ominously wrong? Paddling through the water, you had expected to find the subtle tracks you left behind to get back out of the forest. The endless overgrown verdure shielded most of your view, but you could hear the heavy sound of water crashing against itself. You knew at that moment that you were completely lost. Your phone was rendered useless without an ounce of service, and the map you brought was drenched from the fishing disaster. The idea of making it back seemed like a pipe dream. It was late evening, and by the time you could even make it back to your fishing spot, the forest would be enveloped by complete darkness. Heading on towards the sound of the water, your eyes were met with an enchanting sight. A waterfall with almost crystal clear water in the pool below it, the scene looked straight out of a magazine. Looking past the constant pouring, there was a cavern hidden slightly beside the falls. Seemed to be your last resort for a place to reside. Paddling on, you dock your canoe as close to the cavern as you can without it getting completely flooded. Grabbing any salvageable supplies, you adventure forward to the mouth of the cavern. 

Nothing seems odd at first glance, a few spiders with their webs seem to be the only company you’ll have tonight. You drop your bag only a few feet into the cavern, far enough to be protected from the elements but close enough to still see outside. The cavern seemed to split into many tunnels further along and that just seemed like a horrible idea to adventure in your current state. Luckily your small blanket had survived the onslaught of water, a small comfort in your hellish predicament. If it wasn’t for the bed of rocks you laid on, you could almost trick yourself into thinking the waterfall was a sound machine when you shut your eyes.

◦ • • • • • • • ◦

Pains shot up your left leg, and you could feel the bile burning in the back of your throat as you lurched awake. Your eyes water as you lose the fight against your nausea. Choking as the last bit of bile makes it out of your mouth. Reaching for your backpack so you can fish out your thermostat to rid the aftertaste of vomit. Instead of the bag, your hand meets straw. You aren’t where you fell asleep. Panic rises in your system as you notice your left leg has swollen like a balloon and the leg beside it has a glistening silver shackle around it.  

You try to make sense of the rest of your surroundings. You seem to be at a dead end of one of the tunnels you spotted earlier. A small fire lights the area with the smoke billowing out into a tiny hole within the wall. If that hole led outside, it seems it is still night. You can’t spot your bag anywhere in the room, there wasn’t much of anything other than the small straw bed you laid upon and the small fire. Oh, and of course the shackle around your ankle that seemed to glisten as it taunted you. Yanking on it seemed to only deliver more pain to the opposite leg as you slightly moved. The chain connected to it was rooted deep into the cave wall, you’d need a jackhammer to even hope to remove it. 

Seems like you really should have listened to all the warning signs you saw at the entrance of the forest, instead of delusionally hoping no harm would have come to you. Now you lay prisoner to some mystery creature. Yelling seemed pointless as no other humans would be anywhere near the entrance of the cavern, and you couldn’t tell how deep you were into it. The noise would also likely attract whatever trapped you, but that almost seemed better than willowing alone in pain. So, you did as any white girl would do in a cheesy horror film and yelled out, “Is anybody there?” . . . A weird mix of relief and disappointment washed over you as silence was your only response. Not even the slightest rustle, only the crackling of embers. 

A sigh escaped your lips, almost masking the slight foreign noise just outside from where you could see. Nausea hits like a typhoon once you lay eyes on who you guessed to be your captor. A naga male, he could almost be mistaken for a model if it wasn’t for the tail that replaced where legs would be. “The rabbit finally awakens I see.” A silky deeper voice, one that overenunciated its s’ by quite a bit. His tan upper half shifted as he went to throw the sticks into the dying fire. Once he moved closer you could finally get a good look at him, his snake side resembling a ‘tiger snake’ with the black and yellow banding. A sharp jawline matched, with sharp golden brown eyes. Black hair tied messily into a bun. Could be worse, much better than some smelly goblin at least.  Your internal monologue was disrupted as he moved to you, getting closer to your swollen leg. “Suprised it hasn’t turned purple yet.” He let out a snide hiss as he poked it, his smile widening as you whimpered out in pain. “But don’t worry, it’s only been mere hours. It’ll swell much more by morning.” A prideful huff as those sharp eyes glanced down at you. He was obviously mocking you, and you could only grit your teeth in response. His hand swatting at you, “No need for that, I’m not going to let it get that bad dear.” The tone made him seem so condescending that you wouldn’t be surprised if he bit you again, right in the same puncture wounds. “Now, give me a second, don’t go anywhere!” . . . Maybe a goblin would have been better. His form quickly slithers out of the area leaving nothing but the sounds of embers once again.

═══════ .✾. ═

[innytoes]

If you're still doing the AU mixing: Sugar Daddy AU + Magic AU? 👀

-Okay so Reggie learns when he is sixteen that trying to do his potions homework and fix his amp in the rain at the same time is NOT a good idea because now every time he sneezes he turns into a cat. Also, he flunked his potions assignment.

-The free clinic basically shrugged and said: that's rough buddy here's some nose spray so for any seasonal allergies I guess.

-"At least you're a cute cat," Luke tries to comfort him. Which is true. He's fluffy and orange and he has little tiny white socks.

-There are actually a lot of advantages to being a cat. Besides the whole 'sneezing' part, but he gets better at controlling that as well. Cute girls and guys will give him attention. He can nap just about anywhere. Bobby is immune to his puppy eyes but somehow cannot so no to his Sad Kitty Eyes.

-It's not until they graduate and move in together that he fully optimises his Kitty Cat Experience. Because yeah, four guys crammed into a one bedroom apartment is a great band origin story once they're famous, but Three Guys and a cat who can comfortably curl up on the sofa is a lot easier to handle.

-And then one day, when he 's out Catting, being adorable at cute girls at the park, one of them offers him some of the meat on her sandwich in exchange for petting him (jokes on you, cute girl, he wanted you to pet him!). Still, it's like a lightbulb moment. He's a cute cat. People will give him food if he is adorable enough.

-He starts testing it. Being cute at people holding hotdogs, and fries, and donuts. He gets a bit of 'no kitty donuts are people food', but he's pretty successful all in all. The butcher loves him. The lady with the fish stall in Chinatown does too. The guy at the bodega on the corner tries to give him some meat but the bodega cat squares up with him and Reggie knows he's not going to win that fight. He's seen Bodega Cat send dogs twice her size running.

-Listen, they're barely scraping by between their shitty jobs and gig money, so when Reggie says: it's cool you can have my fourth of the pizza, the guys are suspicious but grateful when he explains.

-"Dude, you're thinking too small," Bobby says, after a while. "You should go to like, a rich neighbourhood and scam people out of salmon and caviar."

"I don't think that's..." Alex starts, but Reggie is already jumping up.

"Bobbers that's brilliant!" he says.

-Yes he gets Luke to brush him before he changes back to human, gets on a bus, and goes to the Fancy Part Of Town.

-He quickly finds that Fancy Restaurants and Cafés and Butcher Shops are mean. Even with his freshly brushed fluffy coat and his saddest cute kitty eyes, they chase him off. One of them even tells him to scram and calls him a street cat. Rude.

-He decides to try rich people houses instead. Surely there must be some kind of rich old lady who would love to pamper a pretty cat like himself? It takes a couple of tries, and a quick escape from a very well-groomed poodle, but he manages to get into a nice yard. He carefully sneaks across the manicured lawn, hoping to peek inside, when a delighted voice comes from his right.

"Well hello there!"

-There is a man lounging by the pool. A very handsome, very attractive, nearly naked man in just some very tight little swim shorts. And he looks happy to see Reggie. That's way better than a little old lady.

-He goes over, just out of reach, twisting his head just so to look cute and curious. This always works with cat people, and of course the handsome man carefully leans over, making beckoning noises, and holds out his hand for Reggie to sniff.

"Aren't you just the prettiest little thing?"

-His hands smell like Good Food, and Reggie goes in for the kill. He nuzzles the guy's fingers, lets himself be pet, and then flops down to expose his fluffy tummy.

Hello, I am indeed adorable, you should give me rich people food, he thinks as hard as he can.

-"Are you hungry, little guy? I think I have some nice smoked salmon in the fridge. Would you like some salmon?"

-JACKPOT.

-He spend the entire afternoon being pampered and petted and cooed over, and most importantly, fed bits of salmon and prosciutto. He falls asleep in a nice warm lap with a perfectly manicured hand petting him, and when he wakes up an hour later, the handsome man is still looking adoringly at him.

When Reggie gets up and stretches, he bumps his head against the guy's elbow in thanks, before setting off. The man waves at him.

-He comes home well-fed and smug, and Bobby just shakes his head and says 'I can't believe that worked' before dibs-ing Reggie's portion of the cheap takeout.

-He starts going over to Hot Rich Guy's house once a week. The man is just always so happy to see him, and always seems to know exactly what he wants, whether that's food or a snuggle or a scritch right at the base of his tail. Also he's really easy on the eyes, and Reggie won't lie, getting to curl up on that chest while they laze in the sun together is a special treat of its own.

-Hot Rich Guy is named Caleb, and it turns out he's a pretty powerful wizard. Like, one that's on Councils and stuff. Reggie has no idea what he actually does, but he loves to sit and watch when Caleb decides it's time to clean the kitchen, watching the dishes wash themselves, and fly through the air. He also likes the little magic toys Caleb makes just for him, mousies that zoom around, paper cranes that flutter until he leaps to catch them. He may not be an actual cat, but it's still fun.

-"You know, I started out as a street magician," Caleb tells him, flicking another magic paper crane for Reggie to grab. Caleb usually switches between talking to him like he's a human, and gushing 'who's a handsome boy' and other cutesy talk. "Sometimes I miss the simplicity of it. I just made people happy."

He sounds sad, so Reggie abandons stalking the crane to nuzzle at Caleb's chin, purring. You make me pretty happy, he thinks. He can feel the man smile against his fur.

-Okay, so maybe he starts going over even more, sometimes even spending the night with what the guys have affectionately started calling 'Reggie's Salmon Daddy'. (Which was unfair. Caleb also gave him crab, and shrimp, and even steak.) But well, Caleb had gotten him his own comfy little pillow to sleep on in his own bedroom, which is way better than the couch.

Though sometimes he still spends the night with the guys, sleeping on top of Bobby's face just to annoy him, or purring on Alex' chest to keep his anxiety from spiraling into thinking terrible things. It's pretty hard to think your friends hate you when one of them is literally on top of you, making the 'I'm so happy' sound.

-Still, Caleb has maybe installed a little magic catflap for him so he can come and go as he pleases. And gotten him one of those waterfall pet bowl things to drink out of. And a comfy cat bed. And a high end scratch post, even though Reggie would never put his claws into the guy's expensive furniture.

And okay, he also has his own little pillow in the bedroom. But he has been known to hop on the bed and snuggle up to Caleb. Listen, the man is really hot and way out of his league, and Reggie knows he'd never have a shot with him as a human. But he lets himself indulge in snuggling against the guy's muscular, sexy chest and dreaming sometimes. Cats are hedonistic little bastards, he tells himself, so he's allowed.

-He's curled up in the perfect patch of sunlight on Caleb's bed one morning when the man comes out of the shower, toweling off his hair and not wearing anything else. Steam billows out of the bathroom door, and the whole thing is so much like the beginning of a hot romance novel scene that Reggie finds himself having very explicit, very human thoughts about what he'd like to do with that naked man.

"Good morning, Kitten," Caleb says, and is it just Reggie, or is his smile bordering on a smirk?

-Yes he maybe makes sure he's there more often when Caleb gets ready in the mornings. Maybe he even swaps to the afternoon shift at his part-time job at the pet store some days of the week.

-So he's pretty happy. He's getting better meals, they have more breathing room because Reggie basically doesn't need to eat at home most of the time anymore, and when he's not with the guys, he gets to hang out with this hot guy who adores him. Well, cat-him.

-Until one morning.

One morning after he slept over, and hopped on to the bed and dramatically snuggled and made himself at home against Caleb's chest, while he chuckled and scratched that perfect spot at Reggie's ears. He fell asleep purring, comfortable and warm.

He also woke up comfortable and warm. There was a hand draped over his waist, and a nose pressed into his hair. Reggie sighed happily, snuggling back into the embrace, wrapping his own hand around the arm.

Wait.

Wait, hands! He wasn't supposed to have hands right now.

Behind him, a rumble. "Good morning, Kitten."

Oh no. Oh noooo. "I can explain."

"Oh can you now?" Caleb asks, sounding amused. He props himself up on one arm, looking down at Reggie, and man, he's just as handsome with human vision.

He runs through several semi-convincing lies, but Caleb just quirks an eyebrow at him. "Before you open your mouth, please do consider that I can literally hear your thoughts."

"You can?" Oh no, oh no, he was going to be turned back into a cat but like, forever. Or worse.

"I'm not going to harm you, Kitten," Caleb says. "But yes. They're quite loud. You really project them when you're a cat."

Oh.

Oh no.

"Even the ones I had when you got out of the shower?"

The smirk is back. "Especially those. They were really quite vivid."

-Turns out having a Salmon Daddy isn't so bad as a human either. Their first date? Sushi, of course.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Toontown: Corporate Clash Recap: Fishing

Every Toon-controlled area in the game (not counting event-exclusive neighborhods) has at least one fishing pond.

Fishing is in fact a beloved past-time of the Toons.

In order to fish, all you have to do is step onto one of the docks at the fishing pond. Toons use Jellybeans as bait, but you have 45 seconds to cast your line. The timer resets every time you cast your line, but letting time run out will boot you off the pier.

In order to catch a fish, you have to click on your Toon and pull back. The further back you pull, the farther your Toon will cast the reel.

How do you catch fish?

In every pond, there are a few bubbling shadows that move about the water. If this shadow comes in contact with your bobber, you’ll automatically reel in a fish, an old boot, or a jar of Jellybeans.

Jellybean Jars automatically add more Jellybeans to your personal jar, old boots are thrown out, and fish are added to your bucket.

If you talk to a Fisherman or a Pet Shop Clerk with fish in your bucket, you can sell all of the fish in your bucket for Jellybeans.

However, there’s an additional twist: Bingo.

That’s right, when you go fishing, you’re ALSO playing Bingo! The Bingo card depicts all of the fish you could possibly catch in the pond, and reeling in a fish allows you to cover that square. (The center is always a free space that is automatically claimed, even in Bingo variants where that is useless.) Old Boost, meanwhile, are wildcards that can be used to tick off ANY box.

If you win before the Bingo Card runs out, you can click the “Bingo” button to earn you and EVERYONE fishing at the same pond as you some Jellybeans.

That said, there are some variants:

Classic: Mark out a row, column, or diagonal to win.

Four Corners: Mark out all four corners of the Bingo Card to win.

Crossout: Mark out a + sign to win.

Diagonals: Mark out the diagonals to win.

Tea Time: Make a T-shape on the board.

Three Way: Mark the diagonals and middle row to win.

Perimeter: Mark out the outer edges to win.

Blockout: Get every single space in order to win.

Bingo is played cooperatively, as Bingo Cards are per-pond rather than per-Toon. However, only fish caught DURING the current game will allow you to mark off spaces. You can’t “bank” fish from one round to the next. You are ONLY prompted to mark off a space immediately after catching a fish.

Oh yeah, and every cast of your line costs Jellybeans (you ARE using Jellybeans as bait, after all), and better rods have more expensive casts. However, you NEED those better rods in order to catch heavier fish and bigger Jellybean Jars.

Speaking of, all fish species fall under one of the following categories:

Balloon Fish: Red balloons with fins, their faces are the part you tie.

Cat Fish: Round fish with cat ears, cat faces, and whiskers.

Clown Fish: Fish in clown outfits.

Frozen Fish: Shivering, blue fish encased in ice.

Star Fish: Elvis-impersonating stars with faces.

Holey Mackerel: A fish full of holes.

Dog Fish: Fish with dog ears, dog faces, and slobbering tongues.

Amore Eel: Pink eels that curls into a heart shape.

Nurse Shark: A shark in a nurse costume who’s endlessly trying to contact a “Dr. White”.

King Crab: a crustacean in royal regalia, holding a scepter in one of his pincers and wearing a crown atop its head.

Moon Fish: Astronut Fish with a Corporate Clash flag.

Sea Horse: Non-anthropomorphic horse in scuba gear.

Pool Shark: A shark who’s ready to play pool, complete with the pool stick thing.

Bear Acuda: a non-anthropomorphic bear in scuba gear.

Cutthroat Trout: Fish in a pirate outfit.

Piano Tuna: Fish with a massive mouth full of piano keys instead of teeth.

Peanut Butter and Jellyfish: A PB&J sandwich with stinging tentacles.

Devil Ray: A red stingray with devil horns who cackles maniacally when reeled in.

Individual fish species are also sorted into the following rarities (from most to least common):

Cod Do Better

Common

Finteresting

Rare

Very Rare

Reel-y Rare

Trouta this World

You’re Pirahna Roll!

The following fish species can be found at any pond:

Balloon Fish

Hot Air Balloon Fish

Cat Fish

Clown Fish

Sad Clown Fish

Party Clown Fish

Star Fish

Five Star Fish

Rock Star Fish

Shining Star Fish

All Star Fish

Holey Makeral

Dog Fish

Puppy Dog Fish

Amore Eel

Nurse Shark

King Crab

Sea Horse

Rocking Sea Horse

Pool Shark

Cutthroat Trout

Piano Tuna

PB&J Fish

Grape PB&J FIsh

Strawberry PB&J Fish

Devil Ray

The following, meanwhile, are exclusive to only a few ponds, including the Estate’s pond:

Tabby Cat Fish

Tom Cat Fish

Bull Dog Fish

Hot Dog Fish

Dalmatian Dog Fish

Electric Amore Eel

Clydesdale Sea Horse

Arabian Sea Horse

Heavier fish are worth more fishing experience when caught, and you earn achievements for every 10 unique fish species you discover.

Uniquely, the first 6 fishing achievements reward fishing experience IN ADDITION to Toon Experience.

The Fishing Level Cap is 70. You can purchase larger buckets every 8 levels (Your default bucket holds 20 Fish and the largest holds 100), and you unlock new fishing rods at Levels 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, and 60. It’s suggested for players to priortize fishing rods over buckets due to how pricey buckets can be for very little pay-off beyond saved time. Starting with your default rod and going up in quality:

Cardboard (1 bean per cast)

Twig (2 beans per cast)

Bamboo (3 beans per cast)

Hardwood (4 beans per cast)

Steel (5 beans per cast)

Gold (6 beans per cast)

Platinum (7 beans per cast)

You can change your rod at any time from the “items” page of your Shticker Book, and you can view what species you’ve encountered from the “Activities” page, along with fish currently in your bucket.

And now, let’s see what’s next:

Trolley Games

Minigame Area

Estate

Fishing

Cogs and Buildings

Social Activity

G.U.M.B.A.L.L. Machine

Toon Levels

Huh… Looks like next time, we can begin our tour of Toontown Central.

-

That’s a lot of fish! But sounds less frustrating than most fishing games lmao

[tcr55]

There was a sense of spring in the Sydney air this morning ahead of an unseasonably warm day.

At dawn, Bronte Ocean Pool had two bobbers and one lap swimmer.

[nostalgicamerica]

True story:

Shortly after my folks moved to Northen Michigan I fell in love with fishing.  It is a love affair that still haunts me today as an old man.

Not far from the house we called home, there was a small pond.  If it was more than fifty yards wide I’d be shocked, and maybe it was twice as long.  One end of the green jewel was so overgrown with bull rushes and lily pads it was unfishable.  

On the other side was a dilapidated dock that someone had constructed years before.  It was falling apart and riddled with broken or missing boards, rusty nails, and it was perfect for 8 or 9 year old anglers.

A coffee can full of worms, a couple of rods outfitted with Zebco reels (which were like as not filled with 20 pound test line), and all the misplaced enthusiasm in the world were all we needed.

I can assure you the Pumpkin Seeds and Blue Gills and Sunfish we caught were not of any appreciable size - maybe the size of my palm which was considerably smaller than it is now.  It didn’t matter.  

There was joy in watching that bobber do a little dance before disappearing under the algae-covered surface.  There was joy in reeling in the line and just knowing the catch was going to be a record.  There was joy as boys learned to become men.

Who knows how many fish we caught.  The Good Lord knows I don’t, but by the time we headed home we had probably 75 - 100 fish in a five gallon bucket.

Don’t ask why we kept them, or what we were going to do with them.  I have no idea what our intent was now, and I sure didn’t then.  They were too small to eat and we didn’t know how to clean them.  I don’t recall being overly fond of eating fish anyway.

I do recall hearing Dad laughing through the window from the kitchen after he told us we’d have to clean them without his help.

What we did was fill a plastic wading pool with a hose and dump the impromptu school of fish into the heavily chlorinated water and then admired the flashing green and blue and red swarm splash around until dinner time.

I like to think we were just protecting them from possible predators - cats, maybe, or neighborhood kids, but who knows.  When Mom called us in to wash up for dinner, we slid the pool into the garage behind Mom’s car, and pulled down the door, confident our slowly dying fish were safe.

I don’t know if all 8 and 9 year-olds are brain dead, but my brother and I were.

The following morning dear old Mom and Dad piled us all into the camper and rolled out for a trip to some part of the American West.  Two weeks of seeing new things, eating bad food and puking, getting car sick and puking, and sleeping in sleeping bags and puking.  And sometimes, just puking for the sake of puking.

I don’t recall thinking even once of our pool full of fish the entire two weeks we were gone.

When the camper pulled into the driveway at home and the dirty, sweaty, stinking mess of us poured out of the tenement on wheels, Dad opened the garage door and darn near fell over from the nastiest stench I have ever smelled before or since.  It was so strong I could almost taste it.

After collecting himself, Dad made my brother and I look at the stew we had created.  The blues and greens and reds were no longer.  A thick, black and brown congealed soup filled the wading pool.  I like to think I imagined the occasional glazed eyeball staring blankly up at the rafters.  

I puked.

He made us drag the pool out of the garage and dump the mess in the field behind the house and clean the plastic shell with the hose.  No amount of hosing was going to salvage that pool and, to my knowledge, it was never again used to cool off toddlers or anything else for that matter.

Mom had been pretty stoic about the whole episode until she went to use her car.  The garage and everything in it smelled like the fetid bowels of hell.

My brother and I spent days cleaning and scrubbing the inside of her car.  Scouring and sprinkling baking soda and vacuuming and letting it air out helped a little, but I promise you I could still smell that horrid blackness two months later when Mom made Dad take it down and trade it in for something else.

-

I have fished some fantastic waters since that summer, and have caught some magnificent fish, most of which I return to the water.  

And yes, I still feel that same joy I felt as a boy watching my bobber.  

[patriciavetinari]

Tagged by @patchworkgargoyle to asnwer 15 questions!!

1. Are you named after anyone?

In the real world my name is in like top 10 most common ones in my first language which I hate vehemently for that fact alone. Also, maybe I was named after some relatives with that name but that was never an important part of my lore. I dislike the name anyway.

My tumblrsona is Patricia Vetinari, obviously named after the one and only dark flamingo authoritarian usurper, patrician Vetinari. Lady Margolotta was taken at the time I think but I figure it's for the best.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Day before yesterday. There's this OC who makes Ophelia from Hamlet read like a buddy comedy by contrast and that's in no way shaded by the fact that I'm the one writing the tragedy, I'm completely objective.

3. Do you have kids?

I do not and I don't think I'm fit to be a parent. I think about it sometimes though. I think of names and the names for their potential imaginary friends. And what would our favorite board game be and could I possibly sit down and invent it? Who knows.

4. What sports do you play/ have played?

Used to swim. Loved swimming in family time pools and wild waters like lakes. Had a nickname 'Bobber' as a child. Was strongly suggested (read: forced) into more sportish swimming by mother to lose weight. Was bullied out of the swimming club because of my weight. So you could say it all went

Swimmingly.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Only recreationally.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Clothes. I can't be seriously into fashion, I'm fat and a commie, but I like people watching and seeing the life choices they wear on the outside, of the circumstances they are forced to wear. Either way, most make me sad.

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue. I fee ehh about it. Wanted brown as a teen, would prefer green now. But I can't be bothered with lenses and occasional compliments are nice.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movie can have a happy ending if you're not a coward about it. Happy for whom? Which character are we suggested to identify it? What is a happy ending anyway? Can a happy ending be a scary movie? Absolutely.

That being said, I don't do horror well, and I do like when the characters I like get home, get fed, get railed, get fulfilled. If they had to go through a scary movie for that – that's the story, innit?

9. Any talents?

I am a jack of all trades kinda gal. Is loneliness a talent? I'm a maestro at that.

Also I cook well I guess. Some writing is looking good.

I might also be an absolute firecracker in bed but I'd have to get back to you on that after I acquire some empirical evidence, but my theory is strong.

10. Where were you born?

In a hospital in the midst of New Years celebrations in a country that was struggling to be born with me.

11. What are your hobbies?

I have ADHD. Give me a well presented topic and it will become my hobby for a few weeks.

I write silly things about silly people.

I read serious things about silly people.

I run my sims dynasty with an iron fist and a five year plan.

I read about perfumes sometimes. I even wear some and one of these days one of those dainty bottles will get me laid.

I try to learn to play chess. Consistency is key and my inner locksmith hanged himself when I was 13, I still hold memorials for the man and pay a generous pension to his unfortunate widow.

I recently drew a picture of a snake with a muffin.

I sometimes make collages and playlists for my unfortunate OCs.

I currently have 2 moods in music: Eartha Kitt or Vivaldi. No in-between. It's been going on for a month.

I do my best not to have a day without an orgasm (covid has put a slight damper on that but I'm not a quitter).

I duolingo, French. 707 day streak. I will be guillotined for this.

I steal cashew nuts from the office to feed to local birds.

I like vintage kitchens, I make the best hot chocolate, I talk to myself, I plan to turn my life around every other weekend, I go to that drama thing when I don't have a deadly virus ripping through me, I will pet any dog that will have me and any cat that's not fast enough. I've recently broke 400k point record on tetris. I post about all that and more (or less) on my silly little scripture of a blog. I sing badly outside of the shower when nobody's home. In the shower I check if I still can do the wrist lock behind back thing (I can, both sides). I ache for the world and my place in it.

I forgot what the question was, moving on.

12. Do you have any pets?

Beautiful twin monsters, little Deppy (short for Depression) and sweet mild Annie (short for Anxiety). Also a plushie called Fucked Up Evil Little Pudding, he's a sweetheart. My puter is called Bartholomew and we're civil with each other.

This is a very long version of 'I rent. I'm not allowed companionship and warmth of a live being by my side'.

13. How tall are you?

Statuesque 5'2'' in the weird foot measurements. 160 in normal ones.

14. Favourite subject in school?

Chemistry. I was spectacularly bad at it. But I actually tried, the teacher was a few percent less shit than others and sometimes I actually got the material and had wild fantasies of giving old Mendeleev a run for his money. Those dreams were crushed firmly by 11th grade.

15. Dream job?

Sheep farming. Also writing children's books in spare time.

I don't think I know 15 people on here well enough to tag, my affliction is also making me cough my heart out, so please do this if you feel like it and check in on me in a day or so if I had died or not. If you'll have a moment that is.

[casspurrjoybell-17]

HEART'S FATE - CHAPTER 5

*Warning: Adult Content*   

The five-mile bike ride to ‘Lake Arbor’ should be beyond the abilities of a seven-year-old but as young wolves, Rio and Nico have more than the usual levels of stamina and strength. 

As a grown wolf, the same should be true of their father, Martin Hunter but he can barely catch his breath to shout after his children as they ditch their push bikes in a heap and dash towards the water, tackle boxes and fishing poles in hand.

"Hey, you guys. Stick together and don't go too far."

A distant and semi-exasperated ‘Yes, Dad!’ tells him that at least his daughter Flora had heard him. 

After chaining the bikes to a tree, Martin takes a moment to catch his breath before striking off through the trees in pursuit. 

Lake Arbor is much smaller than ‘Spring Lakes Reservoir’ but much closer to town and much quieter. 

Motored boats are banned from its clean, spring-fed waters and as a result, it's popular with those seeking quieter forms of outdoor recreation. 

Even this late in the season, with autumn's chill in the air and the leaves turning yellow and red, there are people walking dogs along the shore-line trail, paddling kayaks and canoes beneath the open sky, fishing in the shadowed coves and swimming in the cold clear waves.

The Hunter children have a favorite spot, an old wooden dock that juts out into deep water. 

At this time of day it's in full sun and not the best place to fish but the kids don't really care about catching anything. 

They just like to play with the tackle, cast their lines and watch the bobbers bob until they get bored. 

Then they'll reel it in, pack it up, eat their peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches and spend the rest of the afternoon skipping stones, playing along the shore and paddling in the shallows if it gets warm enough to swim. 

Meanwhile, Martin brought along a plain old pad of paper and a pen, hoping to at least get some notes jotted down as he watches them. 

He doesn't dare bring his laptop anywhere so close to water. It's his livelihood and it if breaks he’s screwed. 

When he emerges from the trees, he see Miguel settling in with his art supplies at a picnic table close to the shore, while Flora carefully leads Nico and Rio out to 'the fishing spot.' 

He smiles as he watches her help them open their little tackle boxes and deftly fasten de-barbed hooks on their lines.

"Need any help?" Martin asks, as he join them where they're gathered at the end of the dock. Flora shakes her head without looking up. 

"No, Daddy. You always end up pricking your fingers, remember? I got it."

"Alright, alright. Just be careful. And you two listen to your big sister, okay?"

Answered with a three-part chorus of ‘Okay’ Martin heads back to the shore to find a comfortable place to sit. 

Fishing keeps the kids occupied longer than he'd expected but he can't say the same for his notes. 

As the minutes stretch on, his mind remains as blank as the paper. 

Giving in to the fatigue that seems as ever-present as his shadow these days, he sets it aside and shuts his eyes. 

With his back leant against a tree, the sun on his face, and the children within easy earshot, it's the perfect moment to catch up on forfeited sleep but he’s barely drifted off when a voice pulls him back from the brink.

"Martin?"

Grimacing against the bright light, he looks up at a tall, athletic figure silhouetted against the sky. 

Then his eyes adjust and he sees it's none other than 'Skylar' himself  and in his half muddled state, he accidentally speak his thoughts aloud.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Skylar frowns slightly, his sea-green eyes shadowed by long, pale lashes.

"I often come here. The open water is less confining than a pool and chlorine disagrees with my skin."

As he speaks, Martin registers the fact that he's dressed only in a pair of rather small, form-fitting swim trunks, with a towel slung over his shoulder and his long hair in a braid. 

With nothing to stop them, Martin’s eyes roam Skylar’s smooth, muscled torso and somehow he finds myself staring at his belly button.

"Are you unwell?" Skylar asks.

The question jolts Martin back to himself and his eyes snap up to meet the handsome young art teacher. 

Oddly, he is staring at his chest and fiddling with his necklace, which seems like an odd piece of jewelry to wear for a swim.

“I'm fine," he says, a little defensively, as he pushes himself to his feet. 

"Just getting a nap in while the kids play."

Skylar continues to stare for a moment, then turns away abruptly, looking along the shore to where Flora and the younger twins now splash in the shallows, having finally tired of fishing.

"You leave them unattended so close to the water?" he asks.

"Flora and Miguel are old enough to watch their brothers. They're careful and responsible," Martin says. 

"Besides, they're all good swimmers and they know to stay in shallow water, where it's safe."

Skylar arches a golden brow at Martin. 

"No water is entirely 'safe' my dear. You never know what dangers lurk beneath the surface."

Martin blinks, taken aback but before he can sort out whether he had misheard him or if he's actually being extremely weird and condescending, Skylar turns and walks towards the lake. 

Pausing only to drape his towel over a small boulder, he strides into the water until it reaches his thighs, then dives headfirst beneath the waves.

Martin watches as he darts away, sleek as a fish, before surfacing and breaking into a swift, graceful freestyle. 

As Skylar quickly gains distance, Martin understands why he'd find a pool confining, he swims at professional racing speed. 

Shaking his head, Martin wanders over to check on Miguel, who's still absorbed with his art. 

Then, still a little unnerved by the handsome art teacher's words, he walks out along the dock, from whence he can keep an eye on Flora and the twins. 

‘Handsome’ Martin repeats in his head and scoffs at himself as he shields his eyes and looks out across the lake.

Martin: ‘Gorgeous’ is more like it and I'd do well not to think such words again, not that I'm in any danger of letting my heart lead me astray a second time.’ 

Martin’s ex-wife, Elena, had been gorgeous, too. 

Martin: ‘Gorgeous and charming and so far out of my league.’ 

Martin had felt like the luckiest man on earth when she turned her brilliant eyes on him. 

She hadn't always been cruel either, though in retrospect he suppose there were signs. 

She was quick to anger, quick to blame, cutting in her criticism and seldom truly kind but he'd been genuinely in love with her ‘or so he'd thought’ and found it easy enough to see past these 'minor faults’.

If they had stayed her ‘only faults’ Martin might have still be in love with her now. 

Flora and Miguel were born barely a year after their Mating and ‘as he now understands’ that was part of Elena's plan. 

Once she knew that he'd die for them, she had him in iron chains. 

Then, gradually, she'd let her true nature show. 

Slowly, with looks and words, little everyday cruelties, she broke him down. 

By the time she finally hit him, she had convinced Martin that he deserved it.

Martin: ‘I'll never trust my heart again. It aches a little even now, as I gaze across the sparkling water beneath the cobalt sky, feeling like a man out of time as the world spins beneath my feet.’

Turning back towards the shore, he realizes the spinning sensation is dizziness and curses himself for skipping breakfast. 

There'd only been enough milk and cereal for the kids and he'd planned to go shopping this morning but... 

Unable to ignore the creeping darkness at the corners of his vision any longer, Martin accepts that he’s about to pass out. 

Reaching to steady myself, he grasps thin air, pitches to the side and shut his eyes in surrender as the cold silence welcomes him with a watery embrace.

[inbabylontheywept]

@simuran: J knew that people avoided him, but he didn't really seem capable of understanding why. Like I said, dangerous maniacs tend to assume that they're Actually Normal. I don't think he understood how scary some of the stuff he did was.

@alightinthefire @vampalaurels: Here are some more J stories, as requested. They're small and snippety, and often lack any kind of plot but! You know. They're here, and they contribute to his character study, I suppose.

J's first day in cubscouts was a pool party, and we were doing a diving contest. We had two gymnasts in the group who usually won, but we all tried our best. J went off the diving board straight as an arrow, which did not actually earn any applause, but he sunk down to the bottom of the pool and just... chilled there. And at first it was annoying, but after like, 2 minutes we were all very impressed. Someone's mom came to pick them up, and I genuinely don't know what would've happened if she hadn't arrived, because she saw him and and went aw hell, he's drowning, so she jumped in and hauled him up, fully clothed, and he lay on the concrete panting for like 10 minutes, and the first thing he said after he got his full breath back was "Guess I still can't swim."

J really, really liked fire. There was one boy who also liked fire, but was a little more cautious about it, and on one trip, he did this little trick where he covered his hands in rubbing alcohol, lit them on fire, then clapped the flames out. So J tried that with his pants and some other kind of accelerant that actually couldn't get clapped out, so then ran around with flaming pants for a while before he just shucked them off, and he actually got some nasty burns to his legs. J didn't normally seem phased by pain, so seeing him uncomfortable meant he got bit pretty bad. A few months later he lit his pants on fire again, becaue he wanted to make sure he could get his pants off before getting burned again in the future. And he could, but it scared the daylights out of us.

There was another campout where we couldn't find J for a while and then we heard him yeling for help. He'd grabbed some kind of snake by the tail, and in order to keep it from flipping back and biting him, he was spinning it over his head, which had worked for a while but his arm was getting tired. We found him, and he was very stressed and asked us what to do, so we told him to throw the snake, which wasn't great but was all we could think of. And he didn't even throw the snake, he just swung it really hard into the ground and killed it, and then after that we all got a lesson on how important it was to respect nature's creatures, as if all of us were complicit in J being an idiot.

J did eventually learn to swim, which made fishing trips with him impossible, because he'd swim out to where he thought the bobbers were to see if he could actually watch a fish get hooked. No matter how many times we told him that doing so would just scare the fish away, he still tried, and scared the fish away, and even got hooked himself once or twice which was extremely annoying.

My dad was a doctor and he would do small medical things for free for families in the ward that were strapped for cash. Stuff like stitches, or prescribing meds, or things like that. And I honestly could not tell you how many times he stitched J up in our living room.

J showed us all how to make napalm from acetone and styrofoam. I think. I don't know if that stuff was actually napalm, but it was a ridiculously flamable goop, and the world was made measurably worse by J knowing how to make it.

J tried making a homemade firecracker one time. They won't sell black powder to minors, but they would sell shotgun shells (America is weird), so he bought just a ridiculous number of those, cut them open, filled a whole flashlight tube up with powder, then invited me and some of the other scouts to watch him set it off on the school's basketball court that weekend. I genuinely don't know how much powder went into the thing, but it was way, way, waaaaay bigger than an m80, and it actually blew a hole in the concrete. The school was very upset about it, and we all felt terrible but we also didn't tell because we didn't want to get in trouble.

J liked knives. Most little boys like knives, but he really liked knives, to the point where his mom would often check him for knives before he left for school because she did not want him to get suspended. To get around this, he just stashed knives in places that he frequented. Like a murder squirrel. I have several memories of just walking around with J, and him just pulling me over to show me a knew place he'd stashed a knife. Several years after he left, I'd still find knives in weird places in the church building.

If you gave J a pixie stick, he would snort it, blow his nose, then eat the goop. It was so vile that kids would actually prevent adults from giving him candy powders. On Valentines day, he figured out he could crush up candy hearts to achieve the same effect and he got sent home early.

We had a scout trip where we were learning how to rapel, which was awesome. Except, it took us about an hour to get the knots and ropes all set up. When it was done, we couldn't find J, so we started calling for him, and we heard him say down here and sure enough he'd actually gotten bored and just started climbing down the 80 foot sheer drop cliff without any kind of safety rope. We lowered him a rope, raised him back up, and then just refused to allow him on any more rock climbing activity days. The rock climbing enthusiast in our ward just straight up refused to teach us if he was there. Said it wasn't kind to us, or J, or him. In retrospect, J's life would have been made much better if he just knew less ways to hurt himself, and in that sense, scouting was overwhelmingly a negative for him.

That's all I have now, but I guarantee that there are more. My siblings are encouraged to contribute to the pile of J stories if they remember any that I missed.

by tradition, the first day of the camp was spent pranking the group next to us. our prank was ziptying the zippers on their sleeping bags together. we figured one of them would sleep with a knife, because we all slept with knives, because we were dangerous maniacs and half the danger of a dangerous maniac is that they tend to think that they are Actually Normal. so. obviously that didn't pan out, and instead they got stuck in their sleeping bags for like half an hour and because their scoutmaster slept in their car and couldn't hear them yelling, they actually only got out when one of them went full caged animal and chewed through the plastic. which meant they had time to make it to the axe throwing station, but they did miss breakfast.

the scale of our victory was impossible to understate. it was an epic prank. unrivaled. the best in years. we knew they were going to retaliate, and we both feared and craved it. maybe i'm still a maniac, but that feels like a common thing, right? do well adjusted people that are not maniacs crave Judgement?

(serious answers only please, from people who would never spoon a knife.)

anyway, the next day we got back to our camp, and the neighors had skipped dinner to just come back and fill all our tents with pinecones. which was like, a decent prank, i guess, but it probably took them an hour to fill all the tents up, and it took us like 15 minutes to tip the tents out, and as a return volley to the ziptie prank it was incredibly underwhelming. we felt a little cheated.

so our scouting group held a council, and we agreed, unanimously, that our prank was 100% better and theirs sucked and that there would be no escalating tensions because we were the clear victors. they'd had their chance to retaliate, and they failed, and so the war was over. that was it.

we agreed on this. we swore. but madness is a relative thing, and in our group of maniacs, we still had J. i have many, many J stories. too many. i biked up to school with him from 4th grade to 8th, and i saw him get hit by cars thrice. he'd just swerve into the road sometimes. one time on a rainy day in 4th grade, a car splashed me, and before i could even consider my response J yelled I GOT THIS and then he blitzed off after the car. i didn't see him the rest of the day. i was so anxious i barely slept that night. i saw him the next morning and he told me that he'd chased the car until it got to a gated community and then he'd climbed over the fence and looked in peoples garages until he found the one with the car, and then he'd ripped the hood ornament off and broke their window. then he gave me a hood ornament to a different brand of car from the one that splashed me and i didnt tell him because i didnt want him missing more school. i want you to mentally adjust your mental model of the things a 9 year old is capable of doing to include chasing a car for five miles, hopping a fence, breaking into a garage, and vandalizing a randos car.

and that's just the tip of my J stories iceberg.

the point of all this is just to say that J was so crazy that he made us knife spooners look like accountanting enthusiasts.

so we agreed the war was done, and we shook on it, and then J, in the name of friendship, in the name of honor, in the name of avenging our pinecone filled tents, snuck over to their camp that evening and fornicated with a watermelon that they'd been saving in their cooler.

i want to emphasize, again, that this was not the consensus of the group. that is not a prank. like i know it seems like we dont know what pranks are because of the whole ziptie thing, but even we knew that fucking someones food is not a prank, it is a crime, and a sin, the kind of weapon that had only been ethically used once in history by Horus in his battle against Set and none of us dumb assholes had owl heads.

so.

the next day went pretty well. we threw some more axes again, which is a valuable and important skill for children to learn i guess, and we learned how to tie knots, which is a skill that turned out to be far sexier than i ever expected, and i learned how to light fires with a magnifying glass, which was great. i'm looking back at this, and i am actually just now beginning to realize that the clear and obvious point of scouting is turning child sociopaths into apex predators.

and then the day ended, and we went back to our camps, except for our leaders, who had a sort of Scout Leader Meeting they were going to have for a few hours at least. it was built into the camp, that day was supposed to be our day to chill as a group, and make peach cobbler, and just be buddies.

except, as it turned out, our neighboring group's alternative to making peach cobbler was eating their watermelon. so at some point they opened their watermelon, and woo boy. oh man. you think catholics hated seedless watermelons? you should see how much mormons hate seeded ones.

so we were chilling by the fire, and then we heard screaming from the camp over, but we didn't pay much mind to that because there are many reasonable explanations for a group of 10ish children to scream simulanteoulsy, such as wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then the screaming got closer, which did not bother us because there were many reasons for a group 10ish children to scream and run towards us, for example, wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then we noticed they had large sticks on them, which we figured were perhaps being used to drive away the wasps, which are abundant in arizona, and then they arrived and they started beating the shit out of us, abundantly, in arizona.

so we ran into the woods.

now, at this point, we had no idea what was up. we knew that the camp next to us was out for blood, which was crazy, because we'd actually locked them in fartproof bags for 30 minutes and they'd barely done anything back, and were trying to figure out what could possibly have happened that could drive them to Terrible Violence when we realized that J was cackling like a witch that had learned how to order children off of ebay.

so we politely asked J what the hell he had done, and he politely explained that had "done" their watermelon, and we politely beat him with large sticks because life is nothing but endless cycles of violence.

we were still being chased by the other camp btw. so it was them, chasing us, chasing J, and then they got tired and went back to their camp, and we chased J a little longer because we were mad we'd all been walloped with sticks, and J did not care because he was a supernatural entity whose only weaknesses were Needles and Fire, and then we got tired and went back and J kept running, and we just kind of figured he would come back eventually.

he did not.

we went back to our tents, and we waited, and J did not come back. we stayed up all night, peering into the forest, worrying. our leader came back, and we did our best to hide our battlewounds, and he either genuinely did not notice or simply accepted this as part of Boyhood. then he went to bed, and we waited, and waited, and waited. And Waited. and did not sleep.

eventually, we convened again, and we agreed that if J was not back by after breakfast, we would have to tell the scoutleader about what exactly had transpired. and we really did not want to do that, because it would have meant that everyone would have gotten in a very large amount of trouble.

morning came around, and J still was not back. we went to breakfast, and we ate very, very slowly. we were afraid the other camp was going to continue their war with us, but they actually looked fairly frightened. one of them actually came to us and asked for a truce, and we agreed because we truly felt bad for them. like, yes, they did beat us with sticks, but J fucked their watermelon. we werent complicit in the watermelonfuckening but they didnt know that, and it was definitely the kind of crime that left one outside the bounds of the social contract.

and then when we could eat no more bits, when breakfast was almost done, right when i was getting pushed to go and tell the scoutleader that we needed to find J, he arrived. he was sleep deprived, and noticeably scraped and bloody, and tied to his belt was a blood squirrel tail.

and i asked him, J, where did you get that? and he said, don't worry man, it was already dead, which did not answer by question and gave me several more.

the camp ended that day, and the other groups avoided us like the plague, and it was not until some weeks later that we were able to piece together what happened.

J, in his sojourn through the forest, managed to find (or, possibly, make) a dead squirrel. he then cut off the tail to keep on his belt, because he was a weird little freak like that. he also took the dead squirrel, and he skinned it, then he tied it to a little crucifix made of wood, and he left it in the other scouting group's camp. which is why they were so scared of us.

it was such an unhinged thing to do it actually sobered us up for a while. scouting became a scary thing for us. we'd found something dark and primal there, in the place where no adult could see, and our appreciation of J as a wild ride kind of changed into seeing him as something truly dangerous. we had a sense wherever he went, something terrible would follow, and the only way to escape it was to not be there when it arrived. and so piece by piece, the scout group dissolved. it wasnt until he moved out of that ward that the rest of us started daring to go back to scouts.

and for the final epilogue of the tale:

i have a little brother who was friends with a younger cousin of J's, and the two would go to parties together in highschool. and sometimes J, who was in his early 20's at that point, would show up at the parties, and it was unsettling in such a way that it just became a known risk at parties with the cousin. and at one party, they were playing truth or dare, and J wasn't even in the room, but someone asked him the Truth of how he always knew how to find the cousin, and J said the cousin's mom had mentioned she was worried about him and the parties so he'd put a tracker in his car. and when he saw that the cousin was out of the house on weekends, he'd made a visit by, just to make sure he was safe.

then he left. and every single person at that party went over that poor kid's car. they searched the wheel-wells, checked underneath it, the works, until they found the tracker. then because they were clever, they didnt break it, or throw it away, or anything that would've given away what they'd done. they just gave the tracker to the cousin, who put it in his glovebox. and on schooldays, he'd take it with him, so J could see him in the parking lot. and on weekends, he could leave it in the garage, so he could go to parties with out Hell coming with him. because everyone that met J - every single person - knew that the only way to be safe from him was to be far, far away.

[southernchicstyle]

The Big ONE

                                                                                           Photos by Daniel Ortiz

I always think my party ideas for the kids are so original until I start looking for items for them and find a million parties done in the same theme. Our son’s first birthday was no exception, but I like to think we put it all together in a creative way you haven’t seen yet... Reeling in the Big ONE! 

Our little guy turned the big ONE and we had the best time celebrating with a fishing themed party. Keep reading and scrolling for ALL of the details with photos by Daniel Ortiz . 

Fishing bobbers, nets, lures (keep out of reach of little hands because the hooks are sharp!), lanterns, and cattails all came to mind immediately as I gathered decorations for the party. “We’re reeling in the big ONE” read the invite. A comprehensive list of the items will be at the bottom of this post, but I also linked the ones I refer to in the body of the post like the fish food tents above.

PHOTO OPP

A photo spot with bobbers and nets formed in my brain as I pinned ideas, and the variations of those came together to create this one I’m so proud of below! My husband assembled scrap 2x4s we had that were painted grey into the photo frame.

The bobbers on the photo spot (pictured below) are paper lanterns we spray painted red on the bottom half (painters tape used to make the line) and the top (linking the paper lanterns). There’s pretend fish hanging below the bobbers on the left strung with fishing line. 

And, the directional arrows pointing toward “fishing hole”, “weighing station”, “bait and tackle”, and “catch of the day” were cut by our friend and I drew the words and art on with paint markers. (pictured below)

ONE

My mom and her crafty skills is always a part of making these parties a reality and she helped put the finishing touches on the “ONE” for the picture table. I love how it turned out! We used styrofoam letters (”O”, “N”, “E” each linked), cut out one for the boats from the invitation for the “N”, and glued cardstock paper in red, white, blue and green to the letters. The blue waves we cut out in different colors and there is twine wrapped around the “E” and the cattails.

We also had to secure the letters to the backdrop (tape was sufficient) since they are styrofoam and could easily fall over.

MONTHS

Each of the months (on paper bobbers from newborn to one) just HAD to be displayed on a net, so figuring out how to secure them was a challenge we solved by hot glueing small clothespins to the back of the flat paper bobbers and taping pennies to the back of the pictures to attempt to keep them all from blowing up when the wind blew. 

The wind had other ideas, but it looked good throughout the party.

The red lanterns, net, fishing lures, small fishing bobbers, and cups are all linked. Click on the words to shop them. And, the tackle box on the table was a Houston Nutcracker Market find. 

TIME CAPSULE

We also decided to do a time capsule (directions in the frame on the left in the photo above) at our guy’s 1st birthday. I regretted not doing one for our daughter’s first birthday after my mother-in-law passed shortly after the party. Each person in attendance can write a message to the birthday kiddo and answer some fun questions about what they think the child will be and like, etc. Your child can read all of the messages when they turn 18!

What I’d give for a message from my mother-in-law for our daughter to read when she’s older.

FISHING SHIRT

For our big guy’s outfit, I found an adorable baby fishing shirt onesie for our birthday boy to wear for his party. Even if you’re not doing a fishing themed party, this shirt was so cute on him! 

Our nanny made the balloon 1 with fishing line and balloons pictured above. Linked the balloons we purchased here. We went for a slight ombre effect with more light blue on the top and dark blue on the bottom. (Would recommend buying a couple of packs to ensure you have enough of each color)

FISHING THEMED FOOD

Galvanized buckets were the perfect serving piece for the food along with fishing related food items, like gummy worms labeled as “worms”, Twizzlers as “fishing line”, Swedish Fish, Goldfish, peach rings as “Life Preservers” and pretzel sticks as “fishing rods”. The pretend fish decorating the tables are foam (squishy is the best way I can describe them) but really good looking and linked here. 

I also saw the puffer fish idea online and thought it would be fun for the kids to have the punch balloons to play with. And, I was a bit nostalgic thinking back to playing with punch balloons as a kid. Obviously, one year olds weren’t doing much balloon punching, but they were fun for older kids. 

The wooden boat and boxes on the food table were borrowed from a friend, but the white 1 was purchased online.  Also borrowed fishing poles that were used throughout the party. 

ACTIVITIES

Along with puffer fish punch balloons, we had a “Catch and Release” activity where we put water in a kiddie pool with fish in it and fishing poles (magnets on the poles and fish connect the two) where kids could attempt to catch fish. And, our “Feed the Fish” station was a bean bag toss which has now been repainted for a third time to have fish swimming. 

The printables I used for the activity signs & favors are here:

Bait Bar

Thank You for Making my Birthday Reel Fun

Catch and Release (couldn’t find this one so I used my own skills to make one)

Feed the Fish (couldn’t find this one so I used my own skills to make one)

CUPCAKES

When it comes to kids and cake, I’ve become a big believer in cupcakes being the easiest all around. They don’t have to be cut, don’t require a fork or spoon, and are cost effective. So, this time I did store cupcakes from our Kroger with blue icing and bobbers on top (linking the bobbers here).

If my son ever decides to be a fisherman, we now have bobbers and lures for days!

CENTERPIECES

Cattails for centerpieces made for a simple table decoration. I used the galvanized buckets with paper in the bottom (had a bunch from all of my Amazon orders) then river rocks on top to fill the bucket with the cattails secured in between. Around the buckets we draped some fishing net with some smaller rocks, lures (be careful of the sharp hooks), and bobbers. 

The cocktail tables I use are linked here along with the table covers. For the bigger tables, I used a fun blue with the raised circles adding texture to the table.

DIAPER COVER

My goal with the “Ofishally ONE” diaper cover was to get a picture of him in just that, but this was the best I got. Fishing shirt and diaper cover. It’s still adorable, though! And, you get a close up look at the baby fishing shirt. 

I’ve learned to let some things go at the parties and enjoy it. Hard for a type A personality like me, for sure!

EDIBLE CATTAILS

These cattails are Swiss Rolls on on bamboo skewers (which we cut to eliminate the point on the end) held in place by styrofoam under the moss in an oval galvanized tub. And, bobbers made everything more festive!

Now, I have to share our learning. The Swiss Rolls will slide down the skewers since they are standing upright, so we cut slivers of wine cork and slid them under the rolls to hold them up. Completely a game time call as they were sliding right before guests arrived. You can see the cork if you look closely.

COOKIES

The cutest cookies were done by a local baker, Sweets by Shey: bobbers, fish, “Gone Fishing” sign, and one that looked like an oval piece of wood with “The Big ONE” on it. 

The other two items, scalloped napkins and fish coasters, pictured below were perfect additions to the party. The scalloped napkins with a  gold trim were a fun nod to the scales on a fish while still keeping an elegance to them. I found the coasters at HomeGoods randomly and snagged the “Drink Up” coasters for the event. 

TABLES, CHAIRS, TABLECLOTHS

Here’s a closeup of the texture of the blue/turquoise raised petal tablecloths. I used cream colored ones for my daughter’s 2nd birthday Bubble Bash so when I saw this color I knew it was perfect for the party. 

Also linking the tables and chairs that at this point have been used for 4 birthday parties and a couple of other events. For us, since we have room to store it all, buying was ideal. 

BANNERS

The banners I found online were perfect for the background of the cake smashing. “The Big One” banner is customizable and comes with the fish and bobbers also (or without if you choose). The cute “ONE” for the highchair was an easy order and great quality!

I hung the big banners behind the high chair on bamboo poles and put the bamboo poles through actual fishing poles so the fishing poles flank the banners. They somewhat blend in with the busy vine background, but the small detail made me happy.

SMASH CAKE

For a smash cake, there’s a baker in my area that makes a blueberry cake (it was INCREDIBLE) and could create this “wave” look - Kingwood Bakery. I found the fish and “The Big One” sign cake topper online and added them myself along with the 1 candle. I used a log cake stand that has come in handy more often than I anticipated.

Below you can see the layout of the time capsule pages I printed (they were an easy printable I found online) that went with the theme. It includes sections like “When you grow up I think you will be...” and “How do I know you?” to name a couple. 

FAVORS

Fishing pole favors were a must! I found little water squirting fish, handheld fish water games, fish stickers, and Swedish Fish and cinched them in clear favor bags with twine tied to sticks we collected around the house. Gathering sticks was a fun activity for my daughter to feel like she was a part of the planning.

The printable tags were easy to print, but I had Katie & Co print and cut them to make sure the bobbers were cut correctly. And, I printed a sign that was framed near the favors that said “Thank You for Making My Birthday Reel Fun!”

My apologies to my friends/the parents who had sticks in their cars on the way home, but it was really cute! 

Unlike his sister, our little guy dug right in to the cake and enjoyed eating it! I love this picture that Daniel Ortiz captured of him once we took the cake away. O-fish-ally ONE!

We love that so many friends celebrate with us. And, below is a close up of the photo spot (you can see the paper lantern bobbers) with two of my friends that are so good about coming!

POOL BOBBERS

Having our pool completed literally the week of the party was chaotic, but I was able to create my big bobbers for the pool. This was not a perfectly executed project, but overall I was happy with them and they looked great. The top is a to-go container spray painted red and the bottom is a red plastic tablecloth taped to the floating orbs I purchased with red Duck Tape.

The taping of the tablecloth to the orb was a feat in itself. With help from my family, we did it once and then redid it. Ultimately, the tablecloth was taped at the base of the orb. It will take in water, so I attempted to tape the seam as well as we could.

I wish I could give a step but step tutorial, but the pool bobber was truly a “try and see what works” experience. Biggest tip: have patience and don’t be afraid to redo them if they don’t look right.

**A big thank you to all of my family who helps me execute all of my ideas and to Daniel Ortiz for the great photos!

__________________________________________________________________

Reeling in the Big One Party Supplies

- Bait Bar Sign (printable) $2.50

- Balloons (light blue, white, and true blue, 100 pack) $10.99

- Banner: The Big One (personalized banner linked w bobbers & fish) $44

- Banner: Burlap One for Highchair $10.99

- Bobbers (small for cupcakes and tables) $6.49

- Cattails (set of 4 sprays) $24.99

- Cake Stand (Rustic Log) $48.86

- Cake Topper: “The Big One” starts at $14.99 (linked similar as exact one no longer available)

- Chairs (individual and 4 pack) $44.72 and $142.41

- Cups (gold rimmed, 50 count) $14.99

- Diaper Cover: “Ofishally One” $20

- Duck Tape (red) $7.08

- Favor Tags: Bobbers $3 (in favors: Fish water game, Swedish Fish, Stickers)

- Favor Bags (100 clear bags) $3.98

- Favor Tags (bobber printable) $3

- Fish (foam, decorative on tables and photo spot, set of 3) $15.91

- Fish & Poles for Catch and Release $13.86

- Fish Coasters (unavailable online, cork ones here $12.24)

- Fish Food Tents Printable $3.50

- Fishing Game (fish and 2 poles) $28

- Fishing Lures $18.99 (found a similar set for $15.99)

- Fishing Net (natural color 2 pack) $9.50

- Fishing Net (blue) $5.52

- Fishing Shirt (for baby) $37.99

- Fish Squirts (for Favors) $7.49

- Fish Stickers for Favors (3D puffy, 20 sheets) $7.97

- Fish Water Games for Favors (assorted with others) $38.99

- Galvanized Buckets (small, set of 12) $18.87

- Galvanized Buckets (large, 2 gallon) $28.98

- Galvanized Tub (for edible cattails) $31.99

- Highchair Banner - ONE $10.99

- Invitiations: “Reeling in the Big One” file $11.99

- Kiddie Pool (45 x 10″) $10.39

- Lanterns (red) $9.97

- Months Paper Bobbers $9.50

- Moss (SuperMoss Spanish Moss) $9.52

- ONE letters (12 inch styrofoam “O”, “N”, and “E”) $9.98 each

- Paper Lanterns (made into bobbers, set of three 8 in white) $10.99

- Plastic Red Tablecloth $14.99

- Pool Orbs (made into bobbers) $89.99

- Puffer Fish (Punch Balloons, 30 count) $10.99

- Scalloped Napkins with gold trim $9.99

- Skewers (bamboo, 100 pieces) $6.95

- Swedish Fish (0.5 oz packages, 64 count) $14.99

- Swiss Rolls (for edible cattails, 6 boxes, 36 count) $11.94

- Tables: cocktail ($107.88) and large 60″ round ($118.99)

- Tablecovers (cocktail) $16.99

- Tablecloths (blue with raised round petals) $39.99

- “Thank You for Making My Party REEL Fun” signage - $2.50

- Time Capsule Printables $8

- Twine (2 roles x 656 feet) $9.89

- Wooden 1 (8 cm tall) $7.89

***Photos by Daniel Ortiz

[poolcleaner]

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[robertmatejcek]

Smaller Ponds - acrylic painting - 6″x6″ mdf - robert matejcek - 2020

“It's the edge of the world and all of western civilization... The sun may rise in the East at least it's settled in a final location... It's understood that Hollywood sells Californication...”

- Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication

Tags:

[thetopben]

No I haven't gone directly from salt to fresh or the other way before, come to think. Usually we're either out at sea or too far inland to have seawater around. I did jump into a pool once when I was drying out too bad and that hurt so much worse, chlorine is a BITCH on gills. I was still coughing for a few hours even after I changed back.

Just the one set of eyelids, though there is something over them. Like a film, yeah. He's also kind of a transient species, since he's also got a bobber with a light on the end on his head.

Andromeda is the closest galaxy to the Milky Way, if that helps any! Even though we can travel our galaxy, our reach is still kinda limited for anything outside of it.

Alternia, huh? No, I don't think we've come across any, but I'll ask the Plumbers if we've got any data on that. The Incurseans were the ones we had to worry more about as far as galactic conquest goes. They even took over Earth for a few months.

The Cannonbolt species? We're not entirely sure. My partner was talking about how there's been some sightings here and there around the galaxy, but none of them are confirmed. But the Omnitrix uses DNA samples to reference the different species, so if we find more we can help them rebound.

Sure, can't hurt! I've got two different subspecies of uhhh. I call him Upchuck, hang on. Gourmand, how could I forget Gourmand? But yeah I've got a Perk and a Merk Gourmand I can be either, so sounds like I could be any "branch of the spectrum," as you put it!

This post is gonna be pretty long so I'm not gonna spam with pics of all of them but if Alternians were/are as bloodthirsty as Incurseans I'll bet you guys might have bumped into them at some point if you came to our neck of the woods. (Also they're easier for me to search up pictures of since, y'know, the whole conquering the Earth for a few months thing).

Okay so the pictures are a little old but they still work

That's Empress Attea back when she was still Princess Attea and two of her soldiers. And one very brave cameraman, I gotta say.

I found an old news broadcast! That blurry dude strung up in the pod on the left? That's me at 16! And in front of me you can see Attea, and a Cerebrocrustacean, and the old Emperor Milleous. The guys on the right getting loaded onto the bigger ship are Plumbers.

Not one of our finest moments 😅

yeah vwideo game stuff

ah! yeah ok so ripjaww can swwap too thats fair neat

dont meet many other species vwhat can swwap betwween fresh and salt vwater tolerances so you lucked right out on such

though havve you had a swwap before? its a fuckin pain in the ass and god fuckin damn does it burn for a vwhile

your eyes got a second lid ovver em too or is there like a goo film or some such other adaptation

hmmm

i dont knoww a the andromeda galaxy but then i nevver vwent through ascension night back home and only had access to dated info so i dont knoww if the alternian empire had any contact vwith em or planned to expand in that direction

it might go by a different name for us so id havve to see a star map

not that its important its just interestin

though i suppose if any of em had contact vwith alternians youd knoww by noww givven under the old empress vwe vwere nasty imperial expansionists

none a those species names ring a bell neither but if you got photos i might knoww

hold on heres the old empress

shes dead noww in our timeline

dunno about yours

vwhat happened to the threatened species if you dont mind talkin a such

if you dont vwant to such is fine and yeah i get it tech can be an asshole sometimes and youre right fuckin correct on the corruption bit

sucks for your alts but glad youre learnin from such and doin vwhats right by yourself

hins definitely a species vworth cataloggin and bein she is a doll

if you evver vwant alternians catalogued then i can offer but youll likely vwant a sample from each branch a the spectrum and not just vwiolet

[milqueandsugar]

🏵 Where the sun meets the Sea 🏵

Warnings: Mentions of death/drowning , Mentions of kidnapping

PT: III

| Something In The Water |

The journey to the ocean wasn’t a particularly long one, made even shorter by the Piglins fascination on the story told not twenty minuets ago. He had heard tales of mermaids before, sirens more often. Hell his favourite books at the moment were about the adventures of a mermaid in a war torn world. But the idea of them being real always seemed to escape him. He shouldn’t be much surprised, seeing as he closest companion is immortal, and his tenant is an enderman hybrid. He guessed the thought never crossed his mind, in his defense most of the stories he had been told of mermaids were from sea crazed or drunk sailors, sometimes even both. 

Pulled from his thoughts by a grunt from Steve he became more aware of his surroundings. They had quite quickly reached the cliff side over hanging the ocean. Not the best place to fish but he didn’t have a lot of time to be fishing, he had merchants to be rip off, and more totems to gather. His movements were smooth as he fixed the hook to the rod and speared a bit of fish onto the end of it. He wasn’t very good at fishing, but being good friends with Phil he knew enough to hurt himself. Most likely. 

He was quick to cast the line into the water, watching the tackle sway with the gentle tides of the ocean. In and out, in and out, in and out. It would have been real relaxing, even the voices had quieted down a bit, but he soon grew bored of the repetitive motion. Soon enough his eyes drifted from the bobber to the rocks the water lapped around, splashing up and polishing them a dark grey. Technoblade was quick to spot a few snails making their way across the surfaces of the rocks beneath foot, a few making their way to the small tide pool like grove further under the cliff face. It was a beautiful scene, if it hadn’t been for such grey gloomy weather. 

A quick tug was enough to draw his eyes back to the tackle, which had now been pulled under the surface of the water. In the foamy waters it was easy to see the dark grey, nearly back body of the fish among the lighter rocks. It was big too, what ever it was, certainly on or two of these would be enough to hold Steve over until they got back to the cabin. Reeling in the fish was less pleasant then expected, by no means was the fish stronger then him, the piglin was certain he could pull the fish out of the ocean with his own two hands given the chance. But the handle of the reel was not made for four fingers, let alone four fingers that were made of nail. 

As quickly as it came the fish had gotten away, as the tugging suddenly stopped and all he could do was watch as the shadowy figure of the fish swam away. A few frustrated curses slipped past his lips as he slowly reeled the hook back in, having to take several moments repositioning his hands. Quickly however he realized that this pole was not made for him, and no matter how much he practiced with the tool it was unlikely to work.

He wasn't left alone long however as a rather gruff voice caught his attention. "Oi! Wadda ya doin' out 'ere? Rather far from the village o' blood god." Letting out a confused ' heh ' he turned quickly the piglins eyes quickly focused on the two men not to far behind him. Dressed in thick, warm coats and large seal skin boats Techno was quick to recognize the dress. They were fishermen.

Giving a curt not the piglin rose to his hooves, catching the attention of Steve who followed suit. "I thought fishermen didn't come to these coasts anymore" he thought aloud, his ears twitching as one of the men, one with a rather thick beard, laughed. "Don't tell me you're listenin' ta town rumours now? Say ya lookin' inta fishin' ?" The man questioned gesturing with a gloved hand to the fishing pole in the piglins hand.

"Not for long hopefully, the fishers all out" Techno blade explained, relaxing as he grew to realize these men were certainly no threat. " Course they are! With that beast of yours it's no surprise" the thinner man chuckled, scratching at his stubble ridden chin in thought. "Say, for a coin we'd be 'appy 'elp ya catch a few" he offered with a shrug of his shoulders.

Knowing full well he wouldn't be able to catch half the fish these gentlemen would be able to he let out a defeated sigh. Dragging his hand down the length of his face he nodded along. "I'll bite. A gold coin each."

The men clearly perked up a bit, a small grin on the first mans face as he nodded along. "We'll be sure ta make sure it's worth it! Come with us, we'll show you the good spots to fish" He hummed. His hopes of leaving the sea men to their work was soon crushed as they began to lead him off. Blood god or not he wasn’t a very social man, and it showed as he awkwardly began to clamber after the two, tugging at the reins of Steve’s harness as he walked. 

Technoblade wasn’t entirely sure why he was even following the men, he was awkward sure but the an certainly knew how to make an exit. As usual his poor choices seemed to follow his curiosity. Certainly the fishermen would know of the sea witch or siren, they seemed to think of the idea as a joke. But joke or not a story is a story, and he wouldn’t have much to do that day as Phil was making dinner. Letting out a sharp breath his ears perked as a splashing caught his attention. Casting a glance down the cliff side into the water nothing but the tide seemed to be moving. 

 A head of them was a hill, whatever was making that noise had to be over it, meaning what ever was making the noise had to be large. The fishermen seemed to connect the same dots as he did as the bearded one turned to the other.

 “Someone else out ‘ere?”

 “No one besides Scotty” 

“Whatever he’s got must be big, eh?” 

The bearded man let out a little chuckle, the two picking up pace as they made their way up the hill. Technoblade didn’t put to much effort into catching up, knowing he wouldn’t lose them, and Steve didn’t look like he would be speeding up either. It wasn’t long until they disappeared over the crest of the hill, Technoblade wouldn’t have taken any notice if a holler hadn’t quickly followed. 

“Scotty what the hell ‘re ya doin’?!”

[queen-scribbles]

a slight variation on the alternative love interests: if you were to scramble your Wayhaven girls and pair them all up with someone different, who would it be? :3

ooooh, I've actually thought about this! It's fun :3

---

Janine gets Mason, just because I'm a sucker for Sunshine/Grump pairings, gotta have at least one. Would still start with flirting and innuendo, but... lighter and less sarcastic than he gets with Kasey lol. And I think she'd want to hold off on sex until it means something, so that'd be really fun :3 He'd be even more confused about falling for her, but it would be amazing. (Also, Sweetheart as a nickname for her? augh)

Mallory gets Nate. He'd have the patience to to deal with how hard it is for her to open up, is easy going to work with her need desire to be in charge. She'd be stubborn enough to make him open up about when things are bothering him. (yes, I'm laughing at the height difference of 5'2" and 6'4". she's not amused)

Kasey gets Felix. It starts out as casual flirting and fun--on her end, at least--then at the carnival... y'know how some swimming pools have a real steep, sudden drop between shallow and deep? No warning if the bobber things aren't in the water? Yeah. His sheer, unchecked joy at the carnival "date" sends her plunging head over heels and she doesn't even bother trying to deny it. She's very fond of exploiting the fact she's a little taller than him (5'10" to 5'7") to wrap her arm more easily around his shoulders. Felix is more than okay with this. May (teasingly?) ask her to carry him piggy back bc he thinks it'd be funny.

AJ gets Adam. He appreciates her willingness to work together and just how genuinely open she is. Worries her sweetness/trusting nature will get her hurt/killed and that scares him. She appreciates how much he clearly cares for his team members and how blunt he is. Worries that protective streak will get him hurt/killed and that terrifies her.