#polaroidjosephfics

[polaroidjoseph]

he.

Songfic based on She by Dodie clark. I changed the pronouns to fit the story. Enjoy! (I wrote this on a 10 hour car trip at 2 AM so im sorry if it sucks)

Am I allowed to look at him like that? Could it be wrong when he's just so nice to look at?

Dan knew that this was wrong. He knew that he shouldn't like boys. But how could he not pine over Phil Lester? Look at him! Blue eyes, raven hair and a great personality. They were best friends too.

He smells like lemongrass and sleep. He tastes like apple juice and peach.

Any time Dan would stay over, they had to share a bed because Phil didn't own another one. Dan would fall asleep with his back away from Phil. He would wake up, wrapped in Phil's arms. He usually woke up before Phil, so he could have a moment off bliss. Lemongrass, sleep and something distinctly Phil. That's what he smelled like.

Sometimes, he would marvel at Phil's beauty all night. His beautiful shiny hair, his deep blue eyes, that even closed looked beautiful. And his lips. God his lips, those beautiful curves of Phil's lips. Dan would be lying if he said that he didn't daydream about those lips. Wondering what they would feel like on his own, how they would taste. Sadly, it was only daydreaming.

You would find him in a Polaroid picture.

Dan had a great passion for photography. Anytime Phil, or anyone else for that matter would come over, he would take a picture of them. If they asked what it was for, Dan would say practice. He kept most of those Polaroids in a box under his bed, except for Phil's. He knew that it was stupid, but he kept them in one of his desk drawers. Yes, it may be slightly stalkerish, but who cares?

And he, means everything to me.

God, Dan loved Phil. That's for certain. And yes, Phil loved Dan too, but in a different way. Usually Dan would say that he loves the English language, but in the moments that he was with Phil and Phil told him that he loved Dan, Dan never hated the fact that three words can mean two things, more.

I'd never tell, no I'd never say a word. I know it aches, but it feels oddly good to hurt.

Dan had read enough poetry books and Shakespeare sonnets to know that love was suppose to hurt. He used to never understand why. Love was always described as a wonderful, lustful thing. Something that wonderful shouldn't hurt right?

He finally understood when he had met Phil, but couldn't have him. He understood even more when Phil introduced him to 'Amy, my girlfriend.'

He smells like lemongrass and sleep. He tastes like apple juice and peach.

Those nights in Phil's bed became less frequent. The sound of drawn out moans and skin against skin more frequent. And even if those nights still happened, They were different. Phil didn't smell like Phil anymore. He still smelled like lemongrass and sleep, but also like Amy's perfume. He would still be held by a sleeping Phil, but he would hear 'Amy' in Phil's muttered words.

You would find him in a Polaroid picture.

Phil's pile of Polaroids grew less and less faster than the pile of others underneath Dan's bed. So one morning Dan decided that Phil's pile should join the other one. There was no real reason behind it, Dan just wanted everything organized, right?

He means everything to me.

Dan still loved Phil, oh yes, that never stopped. Phil just didn't love Dan anymore. And in the moments they rarely hung out, all Phil could talk about was Amy. Dan had found peace with it, he thought. But then why did it still hurt anytime Phil mentioned her?

And I'll be okay, admiring from afar. 'Cause even when he's next to me we could not be more far apart.

It was weird, sitting next to him after not talking for a few weeks. Dan asked him why, Phil answered that he was busy with Amy. But hey, they should totally hang out! Were his exact words.

Cause he tastes like birthday cake and story time and fall. But to him, I taste of nothing at all

It was a bad idea to join spin the bottle in the first place, even more when Dan went to sit down and spotted those familiar blue eyes. But he was drunk so everything was a good idea. And it was a stupid idea to go along with it, he had a pass. 'Phil has a girlfriend, I can't do that to her.' He would lie. But no, Dan was too curious to know what those lips actually taste and feel like. Once their lips touched, Dan thought it was worth it.

Phil didn't taste like apple juice or peach, but like birthday cake and story time and fall. His lips felt soft against Dan's, but Dan could feels the roughness of Phil's stubble. God, he wanted this moment to last forever. This was utter bliss. But it still felt like too soon when Phil pulled away and laughed at his friends, high fiving them. Dan sat out the rest of the game quietly once he realized that to Phil, he probably tasted of nothing at all.

Cause he smells like lemongrass and sleep. He tastes like apple juice and peach.

Phil's smell and taste became less and less familiar. It got harder to spot Phil in a crowd, something that used to be so easy. His few visits to Phil's house became less frequent too. Phil, just to put it simply, became less.

You would find him in a Polaroid picture.

The box with pictures was still there, under his bed, but Dan had lost his fun in taking Polaroids of his friends. He would always be so excited about taking photos, but he had lost it because of him. The box suddenly got quite lighter in weight when Dan had decided to get rid of all the Polaroid of just him.

And he means everything to me.

Dan knew that in time he would be okay. But right now it hurt so bad. How is it possible that someone that once meant everything to you, could just disappear from your life? He knew that he will talk to Phil again, but that will be in a few years. Phil will probably be married to Amy and have a few children. Dan will hopefully be dating a guy that treats him better than Phil.

Yes, he means everything to me.

He meant everything to me.

a/n that’s it folks. Hope y’all enjoyed it

[polaroidjoseph]

doubt

chapter 1

Okay, I decided to start a chaptered fic. I don't really have an updating schedule, so I'm sorry about that. I will probably update on Wednesdays these next two weeks, but after that I am getting a new school schedule and I don't know what that will look like

oh, and i got this idea from @botanistlester on tumblr. I asked them for an idea for a chaptered fic and they had this idea, so shout out to them. LET'SA GOOOOOOO

chapter one

third person POV

It wasn't even planned. They had accidentally got roomed together in their third year. Dan was usually roomed together with PJ, a friend of his that was also majoring in Modern Art, while Phil was roomed with Chris. They were both majoring in English Literature. They weren't supposed to be roomed together. People with different majors weren't suppose to room together.

'I'm sorry. There was an unequal amount of people majoring in Modern Art and English Literature. So, we put the last people who signed in together.' the lady behind the desk told Dan, who was looking a bit pissed. 'No, but I had already agreed to room with PJ Liguori. There must be something you can do!' Dan said. The woman shook her head sadly. 'I'm sorry, we've already roomed everyone together. There's no room anymore.' Dan sighed. 'Okay, well, thanks anyway.' Dan gave a small smile to the lady and walked to room 220B.

'Yeah, I'm sorry PJ, There's no more space, they can't move me. You'll have to room with that dude for now. What was his name, Josh or something?' Dan told PJ over the phone. 'Yeah, Josh, he's cool though, but he's not you Dan. Anyway, how's your roommate?' PJ asked. Dan looked around to the half empty room. 'He's not here yet, so I've already claimed a bed. Let's hope he's nice at least.' Dan said. 'And hot.' PJ added. 'PJ, you know I have Meghan.' Dan sighed.

Meghan was his long-distance girlfriend. They had met in their senior year of high school and started dating half way through the year. Dan went to go study in London, wanting to be  away from Workingham, while Meghan went to study in Reading. The ride to Dan's school wasn't far, but Meghan and him both had schoolwork and other responsibilities, so they didn't see each other that often.

PJ laughed. 'Yeah, and I know you and Meghan are having some trouble and I know you're bi as fuck so who cares.' Dan sighed and rolled his eyes. Realising that PJ couldn't see him, he quickly said: 'Sure. Hold on, I've got to go, I think my roommates here. Talk to you later.' As soon as he put down the phone, the door opened. 'Oh, Hello! Sorry I'm so late. I was at my parents house and that is way farther away then my little apartment in Manchester!' The man explained in a slightly Northern accent while walking in. Dan was just staring a bit. The man was absolutely breathtaking. He had straight black hair and was wearing a purple Gengar shirt. He was also wearing black skinny jeans and white vans.

While Dan was staring the man realised something and hit himself in the head. 'Sorry, I completely forgot to introduce myself! I'm Phil Lester, and I major in English Literature.' Apparently Phil said and held out his hand. Dan took it while still staring at him. 'Dan Howell, I major in Modern Art.' he said, still a bit dazed from the other man's beauty. 'Nice shirt by the way.' Dan finally said. Phil smiled and looked down at his shirt. 'Yeah, I love Pokemon. I'm a bit nerdy', he said. Dan smiled and told Phil that he also liked Pokemon. This made them start a discussion about what the best Pokemon was and other things they apparently both liked.

After a while Phil asked if Dan he was okay with ordering pizza for diner. Dan nodded and Phil went to the kitchen to use the apartment phone. While Phil was in the other room Dan send a text to PJ.

To: Peej

you might have been right about that bi as fuck part.

From: Peej

told you. i know you Howell.

Dan smiled at the text and put his phone away. He started scrolling on the small tv that he had taken with him from the basement in his parents home. Phil came out (HA GOTCHA) of the kitchen. 'They'll be here soon, until then, want to watch a movie?' Phil asked him and Dan nodded.

Later the pizza arrived and they ate it at the tv. After they finished the movie, they watched a few episodes of Pokemon. After episode 5 Phil fell asleep, so Dan grabbed a blanket and put it over Phil. He hadn't finished his unpacking, so he also slept on the couch. He fell asleep to the soft sounds of Dan's snores.

NEXT CHAPTER

And that's that, see y'all later. BYE

[polaroidjoseph]

i thought i loved you, but it was just how you looked in the light

'DAN!', Phil yells out as he comes down from his high. Dan pulls out of him and plops next to him on the couch. Phil moves his fringe from out of his face and moves to hug Dan, but Dan is already standing and putting on his boxers. 'I'm going to get some groceries, do you want anything?' Phil sighs and shakes his head. 'I'm good, thanks though.' Dan nods and goes to grab his jacket. He feels in his pockets for his wallet and then walks out without saying anything. Phil sighed again and stood up to get dressed. He and Dan had been doing this thing for a few months. 'We're just bro's helping each other out, no strings attached.' Obviously Phil regretted that decision at this moment. The last few weeks Phil realized that his for Dan went deeper then 'just friends', but he was too scared to say anything.

Once Phil was dressed he went to the kitchen to eat something, even though he knew he could not swallow anything. He looked in their cupboards and found a half empty bottle of Ribena. What he didn't't know that this was the bottle that started this whole thing. They spiked a bottle of Ribena with vodka and got drunk and... did the do. (I'm so adult, 'did the do' are you kidding me nina?!) But Phil, the goldfish that he is, forgot that this was that bottle and decided to drink it all before it would go bad. ( can Ribena even go bad? Idk I'm not British so I've never had Ribena. Sorry not sorry)

when Dan got back from the groceries, Phil was flat out drunk. Dan walked to the kitchen and put the bags down, he would put them away later. He wanted to go straight to his bedroom, but he forgot his MacBook in the lounge. When he walked into the lounge he didn't expect Phil to be lying on the ground, face first. (Also known as the 'existential crisis') 'Euhm, Phil, are you o-, hold on, are you drunk?!' Phil tried to stand up while Dan was saying this, but shakingly fell back down again. 'N-no, wot are you tolking 'bout?' Phil thought that he was just talking in his normal half British, half Northern accent. But he was speaking full out Northern. Dan knew he was drunk because he only spoke Northern when he came back from his parents' house, when he spoke to them on the phone or when he was drunk. Dan knew he didn't get a call from his mother, because after the call Phil would usually talk normal again. So he was drunk.

'Phil why in the bloody hell are you drunk at 10 o' clock in the morning!' Dan tried to keep his cool, but failed. When Phil finally got to his feet (sorta, he was still wobbling like an just born baby horse), he looked up at Dan with a failed angry face. 'I didn't know that bottle was spiked, you arse!' Another thing Phil only did when he was drunk, he swore. 'No no no no no, Daniel, I'm sorry you are not an arse, I love you.' 'Phil you know you don't have to call me by my full name, only your and my mother do that, and you know I love you too.' Phil shook his head and looked up at Dan. 'I don't mean it in the way you do. When we fuck, it means so fucking much to me, but you just don't give a shit. But I do!' Tears were streaming out of Phil's eyes right now and he was yelling. 'Every single fucking time you refer to me as ' your best friend' my hearts breaks more and more because that's all I'll ever be! And Dan I swear to god, every time you say that I wish that you were lying. When you scream my name in pleasure and when I can make you feel good, I can pretend it's real, even if it's just for an hour. When you leave right when we're done, I get pulled back into reality and it hurts y'know. It really fucking hurts!' Phil has calmed down a bit by now and Dan is staring at him in shock. 'So yeah, I didn't know that that bottle was spiked, but I'm glad I could forget this everlasting fucking pain.'

Dan was still shocked and didn't know what to say. 'Dan, please just say something, anything.' Phil was pleading with him now. Dan took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry Phil.' Phil shook his head and smiled sadly at him. 'I just don't feel that way, you're like a brother to me.' Phil nodded and walked over to Dan. He hugged him and gave him a kiss on his cheek. 'I get it, Dan. You don't have to apologize.' He turned around and went back into his room. Dan felt bad, he didn't know Phil felt that way about him.

Phil didn't come out of his room the whole rest of the day. When it was 5 'o clock Dan started making some stir fry for him and Phil. 'Phil dinner is ready!' Dan went to sit at the television and put on the episode of Death Note they were on. Needless to say, after the episode ended and Dan finished eating, Phil still hadn't come out to eat. Dan heated the stir fry in the microwave and put it in front of Phil's door. The next morning it still was sitting in front of Phil's closed door.

The next few months were very weird. Phil would leave a lot and rarely talk to Dan, he would never sit next to Dan anymore and kept respectable space between them. When Phil cooked, he wouldn't call Dan over to eat, he would just leave it in the kitchen for him. Dan hated to admit that he missed it, he missed Phil, His Phil. But he knew he couldn't say that. He had rejected Phil, so that's his own fault.

Then one day Dan was sitting in his sofa crease in the lounge when Phil came in. 'Dan, I really have to tell you something.' He said in a serious tone. Dan got a bit scared, because Phil almost never talked very serious if it wasn't in a meeting with some important person. Phil sat down on the chair across from Dan. 'I've met someone.' Dan felt all the air leave his body. 'R-Really?' He asked. Phil nodded and looked at him. 'His name is Brendon and he's really sweet. I've been seeing him for a while now. He asked me to move in with him and I said yes.' Phil said. Dan swallowed back tears and smiled at him. 'That's great, Phill! When can I meet him?' Phil smiled brightly at him and started babbling about how nice Brendon was and that he would come to help him pack this Wednesday, but Dan wasn't listening. He was thinking about how badly he had fucked up. He had lost Phil.

When Dan had woken up that Wednesday as usual. Then everything came crashing back down on him. Phil was moving out and moving in with his boyfriend Brendon that Dan was going to meet today.

When Dan walked into the kitchen it was completely silent. Phil was at Brendon's, 'Preparing him for you' he had joked, but Dan didn't laugh. Dan got out his cereal, which has been unusually full these last few days, and would be for the next god knows how long. Then right there and then Dan broke down. He had made a mistake turning Phil down. That had just given Phil the faith to go and find someone else to replace him. Dan had let go of the only thing that kept him alive all those years ago in 2009. They had the bump in their road, also known as 2012. But in all honesty Dan had never changed. He was still scared of what would happen if he let himself love Phil, that's why he turned him down. Look what came of that.

It was around three in the afternoon when someone rung the doorbell. Dan thought it was weird because they, he, didn't expect any visitors besides Phil and Phil had a key. When Dan opened the door, it was indeed Phil with a man behind him. The man was average height, but small compared to Phil. He had pitch black hair that was up in a quiff and shaved at the sides, he also had a very big forehead for some reason. He was wearing round glasses and a white shirt with black skinnies. 'Hi I'm Brendon, you must be the Dan that Phil has told me so much about. Nice to meet you!' Dan looked at Brendon's hand, then at Phil, who was urging him to shake Brendon's hand with his eyes. He decided that he had already fucked things up with Phil, so the least he could do was be nice. 'Yeah, and I've heard a lot about you too Brendon! Phil mentioned that you were in a band?'

He couldn't do it. He couldn't hate Brendon. He was just so fun and friendly. He got why Phil was in love with him. When he talked about music, his biggest passion, he saw how Phil looked at him. It was the way Dan used to look at Phil. When Phil went to the bathroom Dan looked at Brendon. 'He really loves you, you know.' Brendon said. 'He told me what happened between you two and I just want you to know, I'm okay with it. I'm not going to hate you for it. I'm just wondering why? How could you not love that cute face and personality?' Brendon laughed. 'Yeah, I don't know why either.' Dan said, looking down.

A/N: So..Hi. This took way too long, i swear to god. I published it two times by accident, so if you saw that, you know how long it took me. But at least it's longer then usual... like, 1650 words long. I have an idea for a part two if you guys would like that? Anyway, when you're reading this, it may already be December 2017 and the year was awful again for all I know. But 2016 was the worst year yet, and it's December 30th right now, so

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU CUTE POTATOES!!!!

 see you later

[polaroidjoseph]

my fics masterpost :)

HERE’S MY WATTPAD PAGE FOR FIRST UPDATES 

~O N E   S H O T S~

C A N   I   B E   H I M ?

The story of Dan and Phil growing up together through the years.

H E.

A song fic to dodie’s ‘she’

S T R A N G E R   O N   T H E   T R A I N   P L A T F O R M

Just your regular wrist timer fic, but with a little twist.

C A S T L E   O N   T H E   H I L L

songfic to ed sheeran’s ‘castle on the hill’

I   T H O U G H T  I   L O V E D   Y O U,  B U T   I T   W A S   J U S T   H O W    Y O U   Y O U   L O O K E D  I N  T H E   L I G H T

Dan and Phil started a friends with benefits deal, and Phil is sick of it. So he gets drunk and tells Dan the truth.

W E   D O N ‘ T   H A V E   T O   D A N C E

Dan and Phil meet in a bar, this is their story

P I C T U R E   I N   T H E   P A P E R

Phil reads a story in the paper. He’s reminded of a time way back

~C H A P T E R E D   F I C S~

D O U B T  (I N   P RO G R E S S )

“i have a really cute roommate but we’re both straight and have girlfriends”

I T ‘ S A C O M P E T I T I O N, R E M E M B E R?

Daniel Howell has always been told that he’s pretty, that he should be a model. So he decides to do just that. When the opportunity strikes to enter himself into a modeling competition, he signs up. But, there’s a little problem. One of the judges is Phil Lester, Dan’s favourite fashion blogger and one of Dan’s biggest crushes…

[polaroidjoseph]

doubt

chapter 2

After a few days of just watching Pokemon together, sadly both of their studies had started. They both had classes to attend. They didn't have much time to talk in the week, they had homework, tests to study for and grades to maintain. In the weekend they would usually stay inside all day, catch up with the things that happened to the other and watch some Netflix.

After five busy weeks of this, Dan was ready on the couch on Saturday with the latest episode of Yuri!!! On Ice ready. (it was an anime they had started to watch because a lot of people on tumblr said it was great. Dan and Phil agreed.) Finally they had a calmer week ahead of them, so school wouldn't be in their conversation today. Phil came into the living room wearing a turquoise button down and black jeans instead of the pj's he usually wore on Saturday. 'Why are you dressed so fancy?' Dan asked looking Phil up and down. Phil was fixing his hair in the mirror when he answered: 'I'm going to my girlfriend's.' Dan didn't know why, but he felt a bit sad that Phil picked his girlfriend, Sarah, over him.

They had known the other had a girlfriend, of course. But when they had talked about relationships briefly, it didn't appear that Phil cared about Sarah a lot. 'We're just going through some rough patches.' he had blandly said and continued on with the subject of muse. All Dan knew about Sarah is that she had brown hair and blue eyes. She and Phil started dating in their third year of high school and were together for six years next week.

'Are you still fighting about that Brendon dude?' Dan asked. Phil shrugged. 'We haven't really talked about it these last few weeks, I was planning on talking about it with her today.' He said and looked at Dan. 'Sorry I didn't mention that I was visiting her earlier. It sort of happened last night while Skyping.' Phil said and went to grab his coat. 'No it's fine.' Dan said shrugging his shoulders. 'It can happen.' Phil looked at his watch and opened the door. 'Don't wait up for me.' he said. 'I'm staying over at Sarah's so I'll be back tomorrow around midday, bye Dan!' he said and walked out. 'bye Phil.' Dan said confused to a closed door.

Dan couldn't shake the feeling off the whole day. Why had he felt so sad when Phil mentioned he was going to Sarah's? Dan blamed it on the fact that he was really excited about this episode of Yuri!!! On Ice. Besides, they hadn't talked in a week because their studies took up most of their time. That's probably it. Dan was watching some random television show when he felt his eyelids close. The last thing on his mind was a certain black haired blue-eyed roommate, instead of his own girlfriend.

Dan was awoken by the sound of the door of his dorm closing. He looked at his phone next to him to see that it was 8 am. Phil wasn't supposed to be here until midday. if it's not Phil, then who is it. Of course Dan's mind got the best of him and he though it was an intruder. So Dan grabbed the closest thing he could find that was good to hit someone with. A lamp. It'll have to do Dan thought as he slowly opened the door, his lamp in hand.

He tiptoed to where the sound came from. The kitchen. I swear this intruder is just like Phil, can't keep quiet, maybe he's even stealing my cereal! Dan held his hand on the doorknob to the kitchen for a second. He took a deep breath, opened the door and ran inside.'COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!' Dan yelled and heard a loud crash behind him. He turned around and saw Phil standing there, a broken bowl of Shreddies at his feet.

'Woah, Dan are you okay?' Phil asked while grabbing Dan by his shoulders and shaking him. Dan took Phil's hands of his shoulders and nodded. 'Yeah, you said you would be here by midday and it's 8 in the morning, so I thought there was a intruder or something.' Dan said and Phil started laughing. 'What, it's not funny Phil, I thought he was going to kill me you know.' Phil started laughing harder. 'And you were going to attack... *more laughing* attack him with a freaking lamp.' Dan started to see the humor and laughed along. 'Yeah, not the most dangerous thing I own for sure.'

Once they had finished laughing and cleaned up the mess, they made new cornflakes and sat down on the couch. 'So, how was Sarah's?' Dan asked, starting to look for the Yuri!!! On Ice episode they were left on. 'Fine', Phil said, 'Remember that Brendon dude I thought she was seeing? Turns out, he's gay and has a boyfriend named Ryan or something. No harm.'  Phil said and noticed Dan looking up Yuri!!! On Ice. 'Oh, no I've already seen it with Sarah.' Phil mentioned and then took a bite of his cereal. 'What? I thought we were watching it together?' Dan said, slightly offended. 'Sarah was watching too apparently. She was really excited for this episode and wanted to watch it with me.' Phil said and took another bite of cereal. Dan didn't answer and put on regular tv. I was excited too, especially watching it with you Dan thought and his eyes widened with surprise.

He didn't know where that second part came from. He's never thought like that. Yeah, sure Dan and Phil were friends, but they had their limits. It's not like Dan couldn't watch their series on his own, right?

The rest of the day consisted of casually lounging around and preparing for another week of hell. That night before Dan went to sleep, he figured he should probably ask Meghan to come around again. He hasn't spoken to her in quite a while. They've probably both been very busy with school...

A/N GUESS WHOS BACK AGAIN? yes yes i know i haven't updated doubt in like a week or something? 

anyway see ya next time

[polaroidjoseph]

we don’t have to dance

Third Person View.

Phil was never the kind if guy to go to clubs and bars, get drunk and hook up. Sad to say, his room mates were. He would always wake up when another girl would try to sneak out. He would put a glass of water and advil next to their beds. So it wasn't weird when they were walking to the club, he was wondering why the hell he agreed to go with them. 'Come on Phil, it will be fun! We'll be by your side the whole time!' Needless to say, they weren't. The second they got into the club, they all left to get girls. Phil sighed and went to the bar.

At the bar was a guy around his age. 'Rough night?' He asked. Phil giggled (in a manly way of course) 'Actually not, but I came here with friends, and or course they left me alone' The guy smiled. 'If you want, I can keep you company on this fine night.' Phil nodded and sat down next to him. 'Do you want something to drink?' The boy asked him. Phil leaned on the bar and put his face close to the boy's. 'My mother always told me to not take drinks from strangers, so what's your name?' The boy grinned. 'Dan. Dan Howell.' Well then Dan, I'm Phillip Lester, but you can all me Phil.' Phil smiled at him. 'Okay, now that you know my name, what do you want to drink?' 'A coke' Phil answered. Dan ordered the drinks and then turned back to Phil. 'So, I really want to get to know you better, if you don't mind. Can I ask you some questions?' Phil nodded and smiled at Dan. 'What kind of music are you into?' Phil thought about it for a second. 'I don't know if you've heard of it, but I'm into Muse and Fall Out Boy and that kind of stuff.' Dan looked surprised. 'Really? Me too! What's your favourite Muse album ?' Phil looked him. 'Origin Of Symmetry, duh!' Dan smiled at nodded his head. 'I like you.' Phil blushed. 'Okay next question!'

They kept talking like that for a while until Phil looked at the door and then put his head on the bar. 'Shit...' Phil muttered under his breath. 'What's wrong?' Dan asked him. Looking at the door to see what had upset Phil so much. 'My ex-boyfriend Brendon (Urie) is here' Phil had told Dan all about his musician ex-boyfriend who broke up with him because he 'needed more time for his music'. Dan started to play with his fingers and looked up at Phil. 'If you want to, I can pretend to be your boyfriend. But if you don't want to that's okay.' Phil looked up at him with a grateful smile. 'That would be great thanks!' They sat closer to eacher (if that was humanly possible) and kept talking.

Now, most people who pretended this would have to act differently. But we all know Dan and Phil, they are practically married anyway.

Brendon caught Phil's eyes from the other side of the club and started walking towards him. 'He's coming', Phil whispered when he saw Brendon coming towards them. Dan immediately put his hand on Phil's and looked at him with heart eyes.

'Phil! Fancy seeing you here' Brendon slurred as he got by his side. 'Hi Brendon, nice to see you too.' Phil says, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Brendon turned his attention to Dan. 'And who is this lucky fella?' Dan offered his hand and said through gritted teeth. 'I'm Dan, Phil's boyfriend.' Brendon gave Phil a look. 'Brendon, aren't you a bit too drunk?' Phil said when Brendon fell into him. 'Phil, I've told you time and time again, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.' (WHERES THE PANIC! FANDOM AT?!) Dan started to laugh and Brendon looked at him and sobered up a bit. 'You guys don't really seem like a couple. Prove it' Brendon said and crossed his arms. Dan and Phil shared a look and Phil nodded a little so Dan moved towards him and smashed their lips together.

Phil had read enough romance novels to know about the 'butterflies erupting from his/her stomach and the fireworks going off in the background', it felt nothing like that. It felt perfect. Like they where meant to be together. His lips fit into Dan's, Dan's hand fit exactly on the small of Phil's back. They pulled apart and stared at each other. Brendon slowly backed away and Dan and Phil didn't notice. Dan coughed and let go of Phil. 'See Brendon, we are a couple' but Brendon had ran off. 'Thanks Dan.' Phil said while moving his fringe out of the way. Dan looked around and whispered in Phil's ear, 'Let's go to my place.' Phil nodded and Dan let Phil walk out before him, while guiding him with a gentle hand on his back.

In the cab to Dan's apartment they sat close and when Phil was looking out the window, Dan slid his hand into Phil's. Dan sneaked a glance at Phil and saw him smiling.

When Dan opened the door and Phil couldn't hold himself anymore and jumped on Dan. They started kissing passionately and Dan slowly backed towards his bed. The kept kissing until Dan's hands went to the hem of Phil's shirt and Phil pushed him away. 'Look Dan, I really like you, but if I'm honest, I don't want this to be a one-time thing' Dan nodded and smiled at him. 'I agree completely. Wanna play video games?' Phil smiled at him excitedly and they got up to play games. While walking to Dan's living room, Phil grabbed Dan's hand and pulled him into a hug.

They played video games, ate and made out until the sun came up and then fell asleep in each others arms.

Needless to say, they lived happily ever after

[polaroidjoseph]

castle on the hill

third person view

Dan quietly drove down the roads he had become so familiar with these past years. Winnie was sleeping in the passenger seat, Ed Sheeran on the radio. Dan couldn't help the memories that were clouding his mind.

He was thinking about Phil, the memories that they had created together right here, by that hill. When Phil had proposed to him on a pick nick. How they had cuddled afterwards and watched the sunset over the castle on the hill. It was one of Dan's fondest memories, and whenever he was sad, he would think about that moment. He smiled and fondly looked at the thin golden band that graced his left ring finger.

He drove past the bar where he had met Phil. He was out with some friends (after much complaining) They were just sitting by the bar and taking some shots when his eye had caught Phil. He still remembers the way he thought Phil was beautiful, which he still thought. He continued driving and glanced at Winnie, their six year old daughter. When they had decided to adopt a girl, they found one that looked like him and Phil combined. She had ocean blue eyes and Dan's hobbit hair. She had been a result of rape, which is why a lot of people didn't want her. Dan and Phil understood why, but they felt remorse for the girl, it wasn't her fault. They decided to adopt her. Ever since that day, Winnie had started smiling more often and was way happier.

Dan smiled at the memory of him and Phil adopting Winnie. She was growing up now and started looking more and more like Phil. Dan stroked her hair for a second. Winnie woke up and rubbed her eyes. 'Are we nearly there daddy?' she asked. 'Yes dear, but we still have to drive a while, so go back to sleep.' Dan said and Winnie nodded. She closed her eyes again, and in a few seconds she was back in a deep slumber. Dan kept driving by all these place full of memories. The church were he and Phil had gotten married, The diner where they had their first date. This whole town was full of him and Phil, and it was kind of hurting him, but he liked it. Then he came across a small pub that looked very dangerous. He swallowed when he remembered what had happened here.

He and Phil had gotten into a huge fight about something stupid. There was lots of finger pointing and yelling. 'YOU NEVER PAY ANY ATTENTION TO ME!' Dan had screamed. 'I ALSO HAVE A LIFE, I CAN'T LIVE MINE JUST DOING EVERYTHING YOU WANT DAN! SOMETIMES I JUST WISH I HADN'T EVEN MET YOU!' Phil had yelled back and Dan had felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his body. Suddenly all anger had left his body and all he felt was sadness. 'If that's what you want' he had said quietly and walked to the door to grab his coat. 'No, Dan, I didn't mean that, please stay.' Phil had pleaded with him. But Dan didn't listen to him. He knew he needed attention, but he never knew that Phil wished he never met him. 'No, it's okay', Dan had said calmly with tears falling rapidly. 'We can pretend we never even met, like this whole thing never happened. Bye Phil.' he had said as he walked out the door.

He had walked all through town, when he eventually got to that same shady pub. He had drunk way to much and called Phil. 'Dan, please tell me where you are, I'm very scared.' he had pleaded on the phone. 'Philly, y-you don't have to worry, i'm very safe.' Dan mumbled. Phil was getting irritated now, he had just wanted Dan to tell him where he was. 'Dan, goddamnit please just tell me where you are so I can pick you up.' Dan sobered up a bit. 'No, you don't. Why would you say that when you literally just told me that you wish you'd never met me.'

They had argued a bit more over the phone, but luckily there was a girl with red hair and glasses that helped Dan and told Phil where Dan was. Later, they had a long talk about their feelings and they had worked it out. After that they were closer then ever. He misses the feelings he had. The happiness when Phil proposed, when they had gotten married, the sadness when yet another adopting centre had declined their wish to adopt a little one. But all those feelings and memories is what made them, it made Phan.

Dan took a turn into a graveyard. That's why it had hurt so bad when he had gotten a call from the hospital. Phil was in a car accident, they weren't sure if he would make it. Dan had raced to the hospital with Winnie by his side. He had sat by Phil's bed for ages, Winnie long asleep. He had told Phil how sorry he was for all their fights, how he had took him for granted. How much he loved him. He had cried and fell sleep. He was awoken by the sound of a beep getting slower. He panicked and pushed the button next to the bed to call a nurse. While he waited he kept begging Phil to survive, for him and for Winnie. The last words he told Phil before he was rolled out by the nurses had been 'I love you, Phil.' He had waited in the waiting room, hoping Phil would survive. He didn't.

Dan shook Winnie awake. 'Honey, we're here, wake up,' Winnie opened her eyes and looked at Dan. She silently grabbed Dan's hand and followed him out of the car. They walked past all the other grave stones. 'Do you miss papa, daddy?' Winnie asked. Dan looks at her and smiles. 'Of course I do, I loved papa very much.' His heart clenches at the use of the past tense. He knew that Winnie soon would forget the sound of Phil's voice when he read her a book before she went to sleep. She would soon forget what he looked like. (okay im listening to dodie's song when right now and im literally crying why do you do this to me dodie) Even though it hurt him, he would refresh her mind by telling her how much Phil loved her. They finally reached Phil's grave.

Phil Lester-Howell, aged 38

Amazing husband, father and friend

30 January 1987- 3 December 2025

He'll be missed dearly.

'Oh Phil, there was never a greater king of the universe.'

Dan gave Winnie the bouquet of bright yellow sunflowers. 'You can give them to him' He said, voice cracking and tears rolling down his cheek. Winnie walked to the grave stone and put the flowers down. 'Hi papa', she said, 'Daddy and me really miss you. But I always think about what you always said and that makes me happy.' Dan smiled, still crying. 'The first few months without you were really hard. I stayed at aunty Lou's because daddy was too sad.' Dan let out a sob. She was right, the first months she stayed with Louise cause he just couldn't handle it. He would just lay in bed for days, not doing anything. One day Louise came and told him that he would pull it together, for Phil and for Winnie. It really helped and he went to get therapy.

'Daddy is doing better now. He still loves you and so do I.' Winnie said and walked back. Dan walked to the grave and put his hand on the stone. 'Hey Phil', he said. 'Winnie's right. I'm slowly getting better and getting over you.' He looked at Winnie paying in the grass. 'You know, PJ started coming around more. He takes great care of Winnie' Dan looked at the head stone. 'I think I love him Phil. I just wanted to ask your permission. I think I want to be with him, I just want to know if you are okay with it.' Dan said crying. He looked down. 'I know you won't answer me, but anything, please just give me a sign if you're okay with it.' Just as Dan started full-on sobbing, a little blue butterfly appeared. It flew to Dan and sat on his arm. Dan looked at it and smiled. 'Thank you Phil.' People may call him crazy, but he believed that this was a sign from Phil that he was okay with Dan moving on. The butterfly flew to Winnie and flew around her. She smiled and laughed. She tried to catch the butterfly, but it flew away before she could catch it.

'Winnie, come, say goodbye to papa. Daddy is meeting with Uncle Peej in a few hours.' He smiled and Winnie ran to the head stone. 'Bye papa.' she said and ran back to the car in front of Dan. 'Goodbye Phil, I love you.' He kissed his fingers and then touched the stone. 'Winnie, grab daddy's hand, I don't want you to get lost!' He said.

The butterfly circled around Phil's headstone and then also flew away.

okay, i cried twice while writing this jesus christ. anyway, i hope you enjoy! and if you want to, please read my new story "doubt"!

catch y'all later!

[polaroidjoseph]

stranger on the train platform

third person view.

Dan was freaking out. After months of late night Skype conversations and messages he was finally going to meet Phil.  Another added bonus, Dan's timer, the one he has that portrays zero once Dan met his soulmate, was counting down. 00:21:34 it showed him. The train started slowing down, it was the last stop before Dan's. "I'm very sorry, but everyone has to leave the vehicle. There appears to be something wrong with the engine. We're not sure how long this issue will take to fix. Apologies for the delay." the voice over the sound system announced. Dan cursed as he left the train and grabbed his phone to text Phil.

to: Lion <3

hi sorry, my train is having issues, they're fixing it but I'm not sure how long that'll take. I'll be at the station a bit later xx

from: Lion <3

okay, I won't move a muscle. xx

Dan put his phone back in his pocket and saw a Starbucks a few feet in front of him. He decided to grab a quick coffee before the train left again. He walked in and took a look at the board. Honestly, everything looks good. In the end he decided on a white chocolate frappe chino. He placed his order and waited in a corner. "Daniel" was called out and Dan walked up to the counter. He grabbed his coffee and just as he was about to turn, a guy with curly hair bumped into him. Fortunately, his coffee didn't spill all over him, just a little bit over the sides and a bit on his wrist. He looked up to yell at the guy that bumped into him, but the guy was gone. Dan scoffed and walked back to the train and saw that he could go in again and continue his journey.

When dan was back in the train he went to take a sip of his drink and nearly chocked on his drink. His wrist. It portrayed 00:00:00. No, Dan thought. This couldn't be happening. Phil was his soulmate. He was sure. He could feel it. He had even told Phil about it. He didn't even touch... oh. The rude guy from Starbucks. There was no other option. Dan put his head back on the seat. This couldn't happen. He and Phil had planned a future. They were going to buy an apartment together, own a shibe together. Dan swallowed as he neared his stop. He was just going to tell Phil.

Dan's heart was beating in his chest once he left the train. He looked around but couldn't find Phil. Then suddenly he saw him, standing tall, looking around nervously. 'PHIL' Dan yelled out and ran towards him, suitcase rolling behind him. As soon as Dan reached Phil he let go of his suitcase and hugged Phil tightly. 'You're real' Phil mumbled into Dan's shoulder.

Dan smiled and nodded. 'So are you.' Phil pulled away and held Dan at an arms length to look him properly. Then Phil noticed his own wrist. It, just as Dan's Phil noted, portrayed nothing but zero's 'Dan, you were right! You are my soulmate!' Phil smiled happily and hugged Dan again. Dan was shocked, we wanted to tell Phil, but didn't have the heart to. 'Yeah' he mumbled.

On the way to Phil's house Dan was pretty quiet. 'Are you okay Dan?' Phil asked concerned. 'Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. It's just nerves.' Dan smiled at him. Phil nodded and put his hand on Dan's knee. 'You don't have to worry, bear. You'll be okay.' Phil said quietly. Dan sighed. 'Yeah, you're right.'

When they had gotten to Phil's house and Dan had met Phil's parents, they went up to Phil's room. 'Your parents are really nice.' Dan said once they had laid down on Phil's bed. 'Yeah, they're great.' Phil smiled. 'I- I had an idea.' Dan mumbled. 'What was your idea?' Phil asked interested. 'I thought we could film a video', Dan said, 'Nevermind, it was a stupid idea anyway.' He said when Phil didn't answer. Phil shook his head and smiled. 'No Dan, that's a great idea! What did you have in mind?' Dan blushed a bit. 'I thought we could ask on twitter for some questions we could answer, and we could call it Phil Is Not On Fire.' Phil smiled wider. 'Dan, that's a great idea! Let's do it!'

*add the feels*

Once they had filmed the video they were just watching a movie. Dan was debating wether to tell Phil about his timer. 'Hey, Phil. Can I tell you something? Promise not to freak out though...' as Dan was waiting formPhil's reply he noticed that Phil's breathing had gone even and his eyes were closed. He had fallen asleep. Dan stopped the movie and grabbed Phil's duvet and put it over them. 'Goodnight Philly.' Dan had made a plan. He decided to tell Phil at the end of the week. If Phil would get mad and didn't want to see Dan anymore, at least he had this week as a memory.

The week went by faster then expected. In the blink of an eye Dan and Phil were back on the train platform. Dan decided now or never. 'Phil I have to tell you something, please don't hate me. I hope you won't leave me.' Phil looked at him with a confused face. 'okay...' he said. Dan started rambling and told Phil the story about the curly guy in the Starbucks. 'Then you said your timer ended and I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I lied.' he said and took a deep breath. Phil looked at Dan with tears in his eyes. 'Dan... of course I won't leave you, just because you wanted to spare my feelings. If I'm completely honest, I did the same.' Dan smiled and hugged Phil. 'So, who's yours?' Phil blushed. 'Just some guy from my school.' Dan smiled again and held out his hand. 'Still friends?' Phil took Dan's hand and shook it. 'Still friends.'

*Time skip to two years later*

It had become a tradition. Every once in a while they would have a week long sleepover. Some people called it weird, but it was just Dan and Phil. This year was slightly different though.

'Hi, Leanna, how are you?' Phil smiled when a little girl with bouncy brown curls and green eyes jumped into his arms. Dan appeared and smiled at the sight of his little baby girl in Phil's arms. Then he felt arms snake around his waist from behind him. 'I thought I'd lost my two favorite people in the world.' He heard the familiar voice of PJ in his ear.

PJ was Dan's soulmate. He hair brownish curly hair and bright green eyes. He was very kind and creative. They had met when Dan went to college. They had started talking as friends and then Dan asked if they had met before and PJ mentioned that they'd bumped into each other in that one faithful Starbucks.

Right now they were engaged, soon to be married and they had adopted a beautiful baby girl, Leanna Howell-Liguori. They were happier then ever and Phil liked PJ too.

Phil's soulmate was a quiet guy named Chris (yes I know so original, the fantastic foursome idc I didn't know who to put them with) They weren't engaged or married, but they had just bought their first house together. They wanted to adopt, but had been rejected so far. They're spirits got lower and lower, but they had each other and that gave them hope.

So yes, Dan and Phil weren't soulmates, but that's okay. They're still friends and they're happy. That's all that matters.

OKAY SO YES THAT WAS ANOTHER ONE-SHOT. So to everyone that's new: Hi! Welcome! Come for the stories and stay for... the stories. I wanted to say me, but hey, no one cares. Any way, talk to y'all later! Xx