#poem antoniavai

[antoniavai]

in the wilderness

I plant myself in soil that lets me grow

I use my tongue to rebel and my fingers to dig dirt

I leave to survive and when I come I shake my legs like a fish on land

I riot because I love myself you never understood that

we separate cowardly I cut you off at the roots

now I need no roof my heart grows in the wilderness

[antoniavai]

how we misuse love

many times I'd like to know how you wake how september feels to you (simple things we ask those we care for)

many times I miss you as a friend in my life (why do I still consider you that? after you've made sure I'm not one)

somewhere out there you're sitting thinking that 'love is a cruel game' (while I believe it's the only kind truth we got)

well, you know what?

no, love is not cruel no, love is not a game

if it ever became any of those things it's only because you made it

[antoniavai]

el viajero

I read poems in Spanish to prepare myself for singing el viajero, part man, part moon he writes me like a prophet writes a girl I choose my words carefully maybe he could teach me something when I tell her she says 'love shouldn’t educate you' and she wonders why I confuse my need for passion with the hunger to learn if it is wisdom I lack why don't I spend time at libraries? between the lines of books instead of searching between the arms of men but all I want is to say; "el viajero, I am tired, I sleep and sleep and only awake when I dream of you" my friend tells me to sleep all I want because one day I will wake up anyways she warns me to stop being in love "rest and get back to life", she says "things are pretty great out here"

[antoniavai]

Morning message to myself

this poem is soon to be filled with raw, untreated thoughts and euphemisms between the lines... will be the name of someone who doesn't want the lines boys are taught to apologize for their weaknesses girls are taught to apologize for their strengths home, what kind of rock are you? the steady kind or the one I fill my pockets with before I dive? these are just untreated thoughts squeezed into words home, who are you? a she or a he morning message to myself: respect the flow of things go with what takes you stick to what makes you and never be scared of losing what is already lost