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imaginesmai · 1 year ago

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Taken - Azriel

This is long and this is messy. I don't know where this came out, but shoutout to @marscardigan because she requested this fic so long ago I almost forgot. Enjoy the ANGST.

This is a fic inside the baker!reader universe from Right around the corner. You don't need to read the fics to understand but it will help you!

Plot: you're taken in the worst possible situation, and Azriel fights against time to find you.

Warnings: pregnant!reader, blood, wounds, death (not main characters).

You should have closed the bakery a while ago, you knew. You should have also taken a few days off and relay on Elain a bit more. As a matter of a fact, there was a long list of things you should have done better, most of them converged in the last month, but you were busy. And stubborn.

A very busy, very stubborn, very pregnant baker who was closing the bakery way too late.

You had been lucky that morning when you had won the first argument. It was Nyx birthday in a few days, and the boy wanted a special cake with the shadows of his uncle. And you had been working on it even if you were supposed to be on house arrest, only because Azriel was with you at all given time.

But that day, your mate had a meeting and he couldn’t stay with you, so originally you weren’t supposed to go. Originally. Since Azriel loved Nyx as much as you, he had agreed to leave you at the bakery on your own and not chain you to bed.

You hoped that agreement was still valid if he discovered how late it was.

“Alright” you muttered, looking down at the cake with your hands resting on your swollen belly. “I think it’s coming just fine, huh? One more floor and it’ll be the event of the year”

The cake had a base covered in black chocolate, small curls that simulated shadows coming from the bottom. You had already finished the worst part, and had the rest of the shadows ready in the oven for tomorrow.

While you admired your work, you rubbed your hands absentmindedly across your stomach. At the beginning on the third trimester, you looked ready to give birth. Maybe it was because of the wings, or maybe the baby already took upon his father’s size.

“I hope your tastes are less expensive than your cousin’s” you said, smiling when your rubs were answered by a strong kick. “That didn’t feel like agreeing”

The shadows that were already yours pushed you once more to the door, like they had been doing for the past hours, since the sun came down. Raising your hands up in defeat, you took the first step back home.

“Alright, I’m going. I’m going” you chuckled as they pressed more urgently now that you started walking. “I’m fine, it’s late but I’m finishing. Promise to put my feet up when I get home”

Talking with the shadows and with your baby was as common as talking to yourself. Just as Azriel, you seemed to understand what they wanted to tell you. You endured their constant tugging and pulling as you closed off the bakery.

Only when the door was locked and you turned to take the few steps to your house, you realized just how late it was.

“Oh” you blinked, looking around you. The babe sent another, softer kick.

The street was empty, the night silent. Not even the few cats that purred in the shadows happened to be there that night. Even though it was a summer night, you wrapped your arms around yourself as you put the key on your pocket and took the already usual wobbly steps.

At any given moment, you liked to think, you would have been more aware. Azriel had trained you for it, his family had too in the last years. But still, that one time you would have used any of that training, you couldn’t.

Your hand only made it to the knock of your door when the faebane arrow went clean through your shoulder. A clothe covered your mouth as the few shadows tried to blind whoever was behind you, not given you any time to scream or call for help. Gripping onto the last thread of consciousness, you tugged on the bond.

The meeting was taking far longer than what he would have liked.

It was supposed to be easy, to talk the problems out and to let Keir go with a warning. That was why Rhysand had asked him to come along, so that his shadows would snoop around while the male was busy. Because, if the high lord had known it would take so long, he wouldn’t have dared to separate Azriel from you.

Since you both solved your last argument, things had gotten better. He was ready to give himself to you, to become a better man for you and to be what you needed. And seven months ago, it had kept going – you were pregnant, with his child.

And if Azriel thought you were beautiful before, watching your body swell with a new life, watching you become a mother, made you perfect. The thought of you and your future child was what kept him put during hours.

He had known you were at the bakery alone; had known he was supposed to be home before dinner. But he waited, because he didn’t have a reason not to. Azriel felt a tug at the bond during the meeting, and sent a reassuring pull back.

He waited, until Keir left and he put a foot out of Hewn City. Cassian was waiting for them with his arms crossed, his back to their brothers.

“Missed us much?” Rhysand teased, letting himself smile for the first time in that day. “Is staying with – what’s wrong?”

Cassian turned around and his face fell. Azriel recognized earlier than Rhysand the fall of his shoulders, the slump on his wings. There was tension and pain written all over his face. His spymaster-mind ran over a few possibilities before his brother locked eyes with him – an attack to Velaris, an update about Beron’s plans, the revolution in the human’s lands. He even had time to worry about Nyx.

Then, he locked eyes and his breath got stuck in his throat.

“What?” he blurted out. The look on Cassian’s face threatened to swallow him down a spiral of panic. “Cassian, what?”

“What happened?” Rhysand asked, although he was already reading the general’s mind.

“Y/N’s been taken. Don’t know where yet or why” the general spoke, without dropping Azriel’s burning gaze. “I’ve got guards up in the sky and through Velaris”

“Taken?” the high lord asked again, frowning.

“Your shadows came into the wind house, somehow… Nyx knows. He told us what they saw. We are looking for her already, don’t panic. We will find her”

Rhysand could see through Cassian’s eyes, the burst of Azriel’s shadows and a crying Nyx in his room, waking him up. His son telling him about the shadows warning him in his sleep, asking the general if it was true and why they said that.

He looked at Azriel, who looked as pale as the bone wall behind them. The Illyrian tried to come up with something to say, just as he had done in so many similar occasions. It was him who remained calm when Rhysand went under the mountain, when Nyx’s life was threatened just after he was born. Azriel made plans, he was a skilled warrior.

Still, he could only tug on the bond and horrify at the emptiness that came back.

“I can’t feel her” he confessed, finally looking away from Cassian to Rhysand. “Why? Why can’t I feel her?”

“She isn’t dead” his brother answered immediately. “You would know. It’s the faebane, you won’t feel her if they have used it. Cassian, what do we know?”

“No smells, no traces. Bakery was empty and her apartment too. They must have taken her in between”

“Who would fucking take a pregnant woman?” Azriel blurted out. “She’s pregnant. She’s – fuck! In between? It’s – it’s two steps! There’s no space in between!”

“What else?” Rhysand ignored him.

“They sent a note”

Azriel’s panic died down for a moment when Cassian handed his high lord the note. He quickly snatched it away. Barely able to keep in place, he turned his back to his brothers and shamelessly used his shadows in his favor.

He heard his name being called, felt Rhysand demanding to be let in. His own power wasn’t a match for the high lord’s, but it would keep them out enough to read the note.

One of the first rules he applied when it came to kidnappings was to keep the family and loved ones out of it. They didn’t think clearly, and without wanting to, could endanger the victim. But it wasn’t just a person, it was you.

So, ignoring his own rules, he opened the note.

If you want Y/N and the baby safe, the spymaster will present himself at the given coordinates before sunrise. Impaled with faebane and with no hidden tricks. Once we deem so, we will deliver the girl in Windhaven.

Each hour past sunrise will be paid. Don’t be late.

We do not appreciate being hunted.

There were words, that made sentences, and that should have made sense. But all Azriel could see was your name, the word baby, and feel his chest tighten. That wasn’t a clue, there was no way they would find them before sunrise and bring you home to him. Right then, he understood why they kept family out of those types of matters.

The note was snatched out of his hands by a very angry looking Rhysand, with a pained Cassian behind his back.

As Rhysand read the note, Azriel let himself have a moment of sorrow. He turned every emotion upside down, explored them instead of refusing to acknowledge. For years, he had feared the possibility of you being taken from his side. There would be time to panic once he had you in his arms, to worry about the baby once he could touch your belly once more and check your pulse and breathing.

Azriel tugged on the bond once more, feeling the crushing emptiness back. There was nothing, and he was threatened to become nothing too. Instead, he tugged on the faint, thin bond that was still developing. It was barely a thread of your own, fragile but promising.

The bond with your child had been the cause of your discovery. One day it was only the two of you, and then Azriel felt something else. He tugged on that and, even if he didn’t receive anything back, he knew.

“They’re in the mountains” he looked at his brothers. “Can’t say where, but far from Windhaven”

“How are you sure?” Cassian asked, but Rhysand smiled knowingly. Sadly.

“The other bond. You shouldn’t pull too hard, Az. It’s – “

“I won’t. But I’m not letting one second go if I can find her” Azriel cut him off with a hard look. “You’re wasting your time in Velaris”

“Don’t you dare, Az”

Cassian words were lost in the wind as he winnowed away, Rhysand barely touching his forearm. He knew he shouldn’t tug on the bond so soon in his child’s life, that it would only put him at risk. Risk an early labor, risk your discomfort. But if it meant it would take him back to you, he would rip the word apart piece by piece.

You didn’t know how, but after all those years, all those good memories built that replaced the bad ones, you just knew. You recognized the painted walls, the stains on the ground, and the smell from the fire.

Nothing had changed over the centuries that had passed by, you realized. The tavern was just as terrible as it had been, just as dirty. They were just as tall and broad as they were, although not that many. And you were that scared girl that they ripped their wings from, tucked into a corner.

While they stared at you, you only hug your belly and tried to keep your tears at bay.

You had woken up a while ago, and they had only whispered between them. From what you had gathered, they didn’t expect the pregnancy, and were worried about it. The one who had clipped your wings so long ago wasn’t around, thanks to Azriel, but you recognized their faces.

You also recognized the blood stains on the ground and walls, courtesy of your mate and probably the reason you were in that position.

“It has closed” one of them broke the silence, frowning. “Why has it closed so soon? We just took it out”

“Must be the babe” the taller one, whom you remembered to be called Sandor, shrugged.

“It’s the third time – “

“All right, girl, you already know to stay put” Sandor sighed, as if it was a simple routine.

You refused to talk, refused to anger them just like you had done in the past and pay for your actions. It wasn’t just your life in the game, and right then, your priority wasn’t it.

With only the moon light through the window, Sandor knelt in front of you and grabbed a clean arrow. Two bloodied ones were discarded on the ground, ripped out of your shoulder and arm. Apparently, they didn’t want to risk you healing around the arrow, in case it would somehow affect the baby.

That didn’t mean they weren’t willing to stick another one once the wound was closed and there was a chance of Azriel feeling you through the bond.

For a moment, Sandor hesitated. It was clear that he wasn’t comfortable about your belly or the situation. Hurting you to get Azriel might had been fine, but hurting pregnant-you was debatable.

“Just do it, man. You might already ring the bells and light a bonfire” the nameless one snapped.

“Do you want to do it?” Sandor turned around on his knees. “Clyde, I’ve got a pregnant woman at home. And she looks ready to burst”

“It’s not your woman, it’s his. Do you want to stare at what used to be Burton?” Clyde pointed to the darkest stain. “Tell him if he wants to consider, take his time”

As they argued, you finally felt it. A tug, a breeze, nothing more than a feeling, but it was there. It was Azriel pulling at the bond like his life depended on it, with so much strength you were sure he was using power that wasn’t only his.

You blinked surprised at the change. It had taken you all your willpower not to panic when you woke up feeling nothing on the other side, and they hadn’t let enough time for your body to recover from the fae bane to feel it again. But as they argued, you silently cherished the discovery. Maybe it was the baby’s strength, maybe it was the cauldron leaning in your favor or any other force, but not only you were healing fast – you were getting the bond back.

Still looking at them, you tugged back. The bond went silent for a second, and you pressed against it again. You were hit with an overwhelming amount of worry, of fear but also love and relief. Azriel’s emotions became yours, and you were so glad it was about to be over that you unfocused your gaze.

It was enough for Clyde to notice your far-away look, and realize what was happening.

“Fuck, she’s warning him!” Clyde rushed forwards, taking the arrow out of Sandor’s grip. “You think you’re so smart?”

You blinked your fogginess away when he walked towards you, coming back to your senses. There wasn’t enough amount of love or assurance Azriel could send you that would stop you from panicking.

“No, wait” you pushed yourself farther into the corner as he moved closer, screaming at Azriel as loud as you could through the watered bond. “I didn’t! I didn’t!”

“You knocked-up, useless, brat” he gripped your ankle and pushed you towards him, your back and head hitting the ground. “Let’s see how you tell him this”

The momentary pain of hitting the ground wasn’t enough to drown the anguish of having a new arrow dug into your leg, just above your knee. The ceiling became blurry and his voices tuned out as you screamed in pain, your bounded hands trying aimlessly to break free.

You couldn’t remember the pain from the first one, seeing you were knocked out, and Sandor had managed to make the other one hurt less. But Clyde pushed his body weight onto your leg, the bottom of the arrow piercing the ground. You looked up and watched horrified as blood started leaking out through your pants and under your leg.

Moving away from him only caused the arrow to shift, but being near him was putting your baby close to the monster. So, in your panic, you tried to ease the pain by lifting your leg while shifting farther into the corner.

“How’s the bond now, uh? Is your pussy boy there?” he chuckled, while Sandor looked away. “Go on, tell him how bad we are”

“We should move” the third one spoke for the first time. “If he has felt her, he knows”

“You heard the boss” rough hands tried to push you up while you cried out.

“No” you repeated, letting Clyde put your whole weight up and almost collapsing after him. “Please, just let me go. Let me go”

Gone was the keep-quiet-don’t-talk. The tears kept rolling down your cheeks as Sandor stepped on your other side, holding you up a bit gentler than Clyde. Your baby started kicking on your side, and between the pain and desperation, you felt like throwing up and passing out.

Their chatter as they discussed what to do next was background noise. Certainly, they weren’t taking the arrow out that time, risk or no risk of being sealed inside and affecting the baby. You could barely stand up between your kidnappers and remember how to breath at the same time.

You wanted Azriel, that was the only thing you were certain. You shouldn’t have closed so late, you shouldn’t have gone to the bakery on your own, and you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed that morning. The baby agreed with you, answering each thought with a powerful kick to your kidneys and bladder.

You tried desperately to think about positive things, to keep yourself sane enough. Closing your eyes, you thought about him. His hazel eyes, that shone with a special light when he saw you between the crowd. His mouth, that curled up so lightly every time you stared at him. The freckles in his cheeks, that one that snuck up to the corner of his eye.

You could almost hear his voice reminding you to breath carefully and gain control of your body when the pregnancy pain hit, and you tried to do the same. Taking a deep breath through your mouth, holding it in. Letting it go through your nose.

“Oh, sure, because winnowing her again is the best solution, right?” Sandor scoffed loudly.

You moved your toes lightly, relieved to notice that despite the burning and overwhelming pain, you could still feel everything. From your feet to your head, you twitched every part of your body, finally able to breathe through the pain.

That didn’t mean you could move without them hauling you up, or that the baby was anymore happy.

“Enough! We’re moving now. Grab the things. We winnow – “ the anonymous man startled you, making you look up.

“I need to go the bathroom” you whispered, although it was heard as if you shouted it.

Three pair of eyes looked at you with raised brows, one pair certainly more annoyed than the other two. You didn’t know how far had it been since they took you, but it was still night time. During the last weeks, you had been paying a visit to your bathroom at least once every two hours.

And that was being generous.

The babe kicked again against your bladder, making your knees wobble. If you didn’t catch a bathroom, in a minute, you would have to let go.

“Sure. Do you want me run a bath too? Clyde, you could massage her feet. Is our lady tired of standing up for so long?”

“Nestor, she’s pregnant” Sandor was the only one looking slightly affected by your request. “My Lorren – “

“Your Lorren is home and we are here. Stop with Lorren!” Clyde let you go to push Sandor’s shoulders, which made you stumble back.

“I’m not carrying her if she’s gonna pee herself”

“She’s gonna be a big girl and hold it, right?” Nestor gave you a tense smile. “And you’re going to winnow her to the cabin”

“I’m not taking her to the cabin, man”

And while you stood up and waited for them to decided where to take you, you felt your bladder giving up. It wouldn’t be the first time you peed yourself, and with the strength your baby was kicking you right then, you were amazed that you managed to hold it for a few seconds.

Clyde and Nestor kept arguing loudly about the cabin, while Sandor just looked at you with a scrunched nose. You would have felt embarrassed, but you were in pain, you were scared and tired. It was hard to stay standing at any given moment with your belly. Whether it was the wings or the baby’s size, you were heavy.

The discomfort of the arrow was starting to become secondary. Even though you had just peed yourself, you still felt the kicks against your bladder – and almost against every part of your soul. You gripped the only thing available when another wave of kicks hit you, that being Sandor’s arm.

The man realized at the same time you did what was happening, although he didn’t have time to voice it out.

“Damn it!” Clyde barely missed the door coming out of its hinges. He didn’t miss the knife that embedded itself on his throat.

“Sandor, shoot him!” Nestor yelled to his friend, who was too busy keeping you off the ground now that the only support was holding his open neck. “Shoot!”

“Pathetic”

His voice was like a cold breeze in the summer, the feeling of his shadows helping you gently to stand up making your breath speed up once more.

Azriel appeared like a dark angel through the open door, his eyes not even leaving you as he stopped an arrow with his bare hand. His wings covered the moon behind him, but they didn’t stop the next figure coming through. Before Clyde hit the ground still chocking on his last breath, Rhysand had winnowed himself and Nestor out of the tavern.

You briefly wondered if death by Azriel’s hands right then would have been better than by the spymaster’s hands later.

Your mate said nothing as Sandor was ripped out of your side. Only by gripping his arm and pulling him away from you, you heard the awful crack of his arm breaking into two.

Sandor cried out, only getting a few seconds to acknowledge his arm before his left wing is ripped out of his back. Azriel’s shadows assessed your body with a sickening speed, coming to the same conclusion you had.

You were lowered softly onto the ground, silently watching what Azriel had always hidden from you. The unleveled part of him, the one that came out when someone he loved was in danger. He feared that part would take you away from him. But as you watched your mate tear Sandor to pieces, you only felt relief at his presence.

The male wasn’t done screaming for his life when he fell dead to the side. His mangled body was blocked from your view by training leathers and tearful hazel eyes. Everything he had felt during the last hours, that he had denied himself from so he would find you, crashed hard.

His scarred hands held your face while he scanned your body, stopping on your untouched belly and bleeding wound. He didn’t even flinch when he touched your soaked pants to pull it out.

The pain you were in in that moment prevented you from feeling anything more than a discomfort at the pull.

“You’re alive” Azriel cried out, not holding his tears back. “I thought – for a moment, I thought… I couldn’t feel you. And then I did, but you were gone. I didn’t know what had happened. I almost died, Y/N. You’re alive. You’re okay”

“Az” you whined, one of your hands gripping his shoulder harder than it was necessary.

“The baby’s bond… I followed it to the mountains. I know I shouldn’t, but I pulled it” he placed one hand on your belly, laughing tearfully when he felt a kick back. “I love you. I love you both so much”

There weren’t words to explain what Azriel had felt in the last few hours. How he had stumbled down into the snow when he had felt your end of the bond alive, how desperate he had been to follow it. Then, it had gone dark and if it wasn’t for Rhysand following him, he would have crashed right there.

He was glad his brother had been there, that he had taken a male away for questioning. Once you were safe and with Madja, he would make sure to take his time.

Azriel pressed a shaky, wet kiss to your forehead, then another one to your nose. He kissed each and every tear that had stained your cheeks in the past hour, finally pressing his lips against yours.

When he moved back, ready to winnow you both back to Velaris and hold you close for a week, he was surprised to see new tears running down your cheeks. What he thought was terror for the kidnapping, the anguish of your captors, hadn’t left your face.

“What’s wrong?” he frowned, leaving his own despair for later and looking back at your body.

“Az” you repeated.

You had realized what was happening before him, had known just before Sandor. His shadows couldn’t possibly understand what was happening, and so, Azriel didn’t. Any pain you had felt during that night paled away from the complete, absolute fear the crippled you as you stared at your mate in that dark tavern, where your worst memories had taken place.

“I’m here” he reminded you, his hand caressing the belly. “Where does it –“

“It’s coming” you finally admitted, watching the realization hitting him. “The baby’s coming”

It had felt like peeing yourself, like normal kicks, you guessed. What had given it away was crippling, motherly realization that your baby wanted out. That bond that had connected you to it was more present than ever, and somehow, you knew.

Azriel paled even more if that was possible. Right there, sitting in the dirty, bloodied and now empty tavern, your water had broken. You wanted to break down crying, because of course, given your history your baby would choose that moment.

When Azriel didn’t say anything, you lip wobbled again. Because, if he didn’t have the answers, who would?

“It’s coming” you said again, feeling like a broken record. “What do we do? What -?”

“I’ll winnow us to Velaris” Azriel interrupted you, knowing the answer before saying it.

“Madja said we can’t” you reminded him, although he already knew. “Oh God. Az, it’s coming. What do we do? I’m having a baby. I’m having a baby!”

Indeed, one of the first things Madja had advised you against was winnowing while pregnant. So close to the date, it would only trigger an early labor – and on the date, it would be dangerous to the baby and you. Rhysand would be back in Velaris by then, probably thinking you two were just fine and happy together once more.

And winnowing away to warn him and bring someone was out of the equation, since he wouldn’t be leaving you for a while now.

So Azriel gathered himself together and gave you a hesitant smile.

“We can do it” Azriel whispered, not sure of the truth behind his words.

“What?”

“I’m not leaving you. We’re here together, and we can do it. Madja told us what it’s like” Azriel tried to sound confident for you, for the both of you, but it came out as a question.

“We’re having a baby”

The first rays of sun entered through the empty space where the door was as you stared into his eyes. You could risk winnowing back and losing the baby and your life, or you could send away Azriel and hope he made it in time back with Madja or any other healer. Neither of those options felt like surviving to you, so you nodded at him and willed that tear to be the last one.

Azriel leaned in and kissed you softly. His lips were salty, from his tears or your own, and kind. While his shadows brushed every available part of your body, you let yourself forget about the closing wound, about the trembling of your knees and the pain in your belly.

Kissing him would always feel like the first time, like fireworks and Starfall. His nosed brushed your own and his tongue deepened the kiss. One of his hands cupped the back of your head, the hair there already covered in sweat. Even it was cold with the morning breeze, you were ready to get out of your body.

The kiss ended way too soon, just as another kick, or contraction, hit you harder than before. You sucked a breath and almost stumbled to the ground.

Azriel was quick to roll his sleeves up, lowering you until you were laying on the ground. Looking up at him, he gave you reassuring smile and hesitant nod.

“We’re having a baby” he squeezed your shoulder.

You tried to smile as another contraction hit and the first scream broke the silent morning.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

Right around the corner taglist:

@lesliemurillo @impossibelle @polli05927 @florencemtrash @going-through-shit @minakay @setayeshmohseni @torchbearerkyle @esposadomd @amysangel @kennedy-brooke @originalcrusadetrash @luvmoo @historygeekqueen @marriedtolike18fictionalmen @wallacewillow0773638 @tothestarsandwhateverend @kristalhi @knmendiola @nikt-wazny-y @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @wallacewillow0773638 @clara-geekhime @kalulakunundrum @saltedcoffeescotch @originalcrusadetrash @mel-wcst @ailyr92 @bubybubsters @chickensrock3 @tothestarsandwhateverend @topaz125 @wallacewillow0773638 @just-m-2 @theravenphoenix26 @glitterypirateduck @a-frog-with-a-laptop @justdreamstars

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readychilledwine · 7 months ago

Text

✨️ACOTAR Booty Headcanons✨️

💕Peep the thigh headcanons here💕

Warnings - Butts. Fanart of butts. Nakey butts. Bubble butts. Lady butts. Man butts.

Up next? ✨️ Hands ✨️

✨️Body Headcanons Masterlist✨️ Master Masterlist ✨️

Edited to add - short plus size Elain sneak peak

A/N - for @lady-of-tearshed, I hope this meets all your dreams, my love.

A message from Mother - You, my sweet dear reader, are gorgeous as you are. You are real, touchable, and made with imperfections that enhance your beauty and uniqueness. You are a treasure. Do not compare yourself to a single body on this list.

Rhysand-

I like to start off strong..

Rhysand has a very bite-able booty.

He is slightly leaner than Azriel and Cassian, but he still has a firm butt.

Rhysand loves to wear tight slacks, just to watch your pretty little brain go blank when you see his ass.

He sleeps naked and it's hard for you not to just.. touch the booty.

To be fair, he loves to keep his hand (and hand print) on your butt, too.

Art by Amai actually just posted Rhysand butt fanart. Enjoy it below

Cassian-

John Cena has been described as having a military grade ass with an inhuman body.

Cassian also has an inhuman body, so it makes sense that my guy has a military grade ass.

Cassian has butt muscles in places you didn't even know you could have butt muscles.

It is intimidating. Very intimidating.

But you LOVE watching this man walk. Especially when he's walking to the bathroom to grab towels for aftercare.

Azriel-

Azriel's ass surprised you in the best way.

Azriel is lean compared to Cassian, so his bubble butt shocked you.

Much firm. Still jiggle.

You were ready for this jelly.

Azriel gets super shy when you tell him how good his butt looks, but he's like that one friend who secretly loves it and makes sure to wear the same pants/skirt/shorts the next time they see you so you are in love with their deliciousness again.

Sometimes, you just sneak up on Azriel and accidentally squeeze. In front of his family. But don't worry. He squeezes yours back.

Tamlin-

I'm disappointed I can't find this gif when I need it.

We can all hate on Tamlin as much as we want, but SJM herself says the man is muscular.

I imagine Tamlin was worried about his arms and chest being thicker than his legs, so he started hitting legs and glutes hard.

Then, the next thing he knows, he has a damn shelf.

He hates when you touch his butt though. He'd prefer you touch him other places.

But you bet your ass he is touching yours

Lucien-

I stand by Lucien having Chris Hemsworth's body type.

Lucien had the perfect, truly bite-able ass.

You constantly have your hand in his back pocket.

You constantly are giving it a little smack so it jiggles.

You always walk behind him.

Lucien loves the way you worship his body. He's insecure about his scars, so you loving every inch of him helps.

Eris-

Daddy ��🫠

Eris has the captain America Dorito proportions build, and I hope all of you know *exactly* what I am talking about.

I imagine Eris as slim muscular, and when I decided to do these, I needed him to have Chris Evans's ass

I mean look at it

Imagine that ass in Eris's finely tailored clothing.

Imagine that ass getting off a horse.

You're touching him. Constantly. And he loves it.

He loves that you seem to think he's some sort of God.

And he really loves it when you touch his butt because you begged him to treat you as his equal, meaning that ass of yours is in his hands quickly.

Helion-

You know when a guys thighs are so thick they become one with his dump truck? Helion.

He actually requires a CDL for his ass.

You can't really tell until he's naked and turns around due to the thickness of his thighs, but this male has ass for days.

And his ass is FIRM. There is not an ounce of fat on him.

He considers his ass a trophy of sorts, so touching it is only for those privileged to.

Luckily you have that privilege.

Oh, look.. I included the Archeron sisters

Feyre-

Don't accuse me of doing our girl dirty, but I picture Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit when I think of Feyre's body.

The reason you can't accuse me of doing her dirty is because the things I'd do if Halle Berry told me to do them are extreme.

I picture Feyre as very lean, very cut, and she had the cutest baby bubble butt.

She's definitely the friend who thinks she has no booty until you help her find the right outfit for the booty.

She also blushes whenever you touch it.

She wishes it was bigger sometimes, but a few spanks in, and she's telling you she's perfect as she is.

I wish I could find a better picture of this 🫠

Nesta-

Nesta I also picture as tight and lean.

For some reason when I read her, I picture Adriana Lima, but with blonde hair.

Maybe it's because I think Nesta has sultry vibes?

Nesta tries to keep herself small. It's ingrained deeply into her head because of her mother and grandmother that she has to be small.

She's also constantly training, so it keeps her tight.

She may not have the biggest ass, but that thing is the best apple you've bit

Elain-

If you don't know by now, you're about to: elain at minimum is slim thick.

I personally see truly happy glowing elain as mid to plus size, and I'm hoping for mid to plus size elain once this stupid shipwar is over.

Right now, though, elain is slimthick.

She's still recovering from her spicy sadness days, and her recovery has her doing squats in the garden

Ass. For. Days.

It's why she actually doesn't wear pants. She tried once and every almost had a collective mass failure heart attack.

So now, her booty is reserved for you and you alone.

You love it when she wears cheeky things in the bedroom.

I imagine elain is super into impact play because she loves the way you compliment her recoil.

I think she's secretly proud of her booty. She just doesn't want anyone else to know. So sssshhhh.

General Taglist:

@hnyclover @glitterypirateduck @slytherinindisguise @mischiefmanagers @bloodicka @starsinyourseyes @the-sweet-psycho @mariahoedt @rinalouu @sarawritestories @starryhiraeth @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @loneliestluvr @eternallyelvish @azrielsmate3 @daughterofthemoons-stuff @meritxellao @aria-chikage @hungryforbatboys @lilah-asteria @fandomrejects @sleepybesson @tayswhp

#elizabeths.updates #acotar #acotar x reader #azriel acotar #azriel #rhys acotar #rhysand acotar #cassian acotar #eris acotar #tamlin acotar #lucien acotar #elain acotar #nesta acotar #feyre acotar #acotar headcanons #acotar body headcanons #remember you are perfect the way you are #dont compare yourself to edited pictures of influences and celebrities

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fawnandshadows · 17 days ago

Text

When You Were Mine

Warnings: Mild Language

Word Count: 3.7K

Elain is struggling to find Christmas magic this year...try as she might the warm, comforting magic of Christmas is escaping her. She's doing everything right. Wrapping the presents. Trimming the tree. Baking the cookies. But the feeling just isn't there.

And she knows exactly why. It's her first Christmas without Azriel.

On a whim, she's knocking on his door in the middle of the night...but will he let her in?

Read Below or on AO3!

Everything was how it should be.

The lights were strung, warm and glimmering white over the evergreen needles and wrapped over the tall tree that her family had picked out. She had decorated it with her sisters, like always, sipping on the hot chocolate that she had prepared earlier – it sat in a crock in the kitchen so it was perpetually the perfect temperature, so everyone could top off at will.

Music played softly in the background. Someone had put on the classic that Elain knew only she favored, but it hadn’t been her. Her phone was stuffed into the back pocket of her jeans, her mind praying for it to buzz, but it was so unbearably, heartbreakingly still.

There was movement all around her. From the white flurry of snow drifting outside the frosty window to the hustle of people bustling inside going back and forth from the kitchen and the living room. And the orange blaze of fire in the fireplace. It was movement. It was warmth and life. But Elain felt detached. Her focus was not on the glittering white ornament that she hung on the tree, but on the one person whose absence she felt entirely.

For someone so quiet, who blended into the shadows and took painstaking efforts to be overlooked, his absence was a massive, gaping wound inside of her.

Everything was the same, except for the fact that Azriel wasn’t there. He hadn’t always been in her life, really he had only been in it for a little over three years now, but he had become so deeply ingrained, so meaningful to her, that her life could be broken into two parts: with Azriel, and without Azriel.

Recently, she’d been living in the without Azriel.

A Christmas with Azriel involved tinsel in her hair. He was so much taller than her that he made a game of it. Azriel would place tinsel on the tree, making sure to reach over her to the top where she couldn’t reach, but on the way down he’d always keep one strand to “accidentally” place on top of her head. He was so soft and sneaky about it that Elain never even noticed, and it took forever for the tinsel to be out of her hair completely.

A Christmas without Azriel involved Elain straining herself to try to reach the top of the tree and almost knocking it over in the process.

Christmases with Azriel involved the two of them sneaking into her room when no one noticed while Azriel helped her wrap presents. She always wrapped his presents for his mother, he claimed that they always looked prettier when Elain did it (a truth, but Elain always denied it). Elain always chose the best wrapping paper and used extra care for his mother. There was one Christmas when Azriel fell asleep, passed out on her bed while Elain was hunched over on the ground surrounded by paper trimmings and tissue paper…so when Elain looked up and saw his sleeping face…she wrapped him. A red ribbon over the smooth muscle of his bicep tied into a perfect bow with curled tails. A sticky metallic ribbon stamped to his forehead. A large tag stuck to his chest that read To: Elain From Santa. Extra glitter dusted over his sleeping body. Elain had been in the process of taping the discarded scraps of wrapping paper to his body when he woke up with a heavy sleepiness over his features.

Elain still got butterflies when she thought of that moment. How big Azriel was in her twin sized bed. How his confusion slowly melted into a bashful smile as he realized what was happening. How he just let her take photos while he laid on the bed and smiled up at her, a light blush dusting his cheeks.

Without Azriel, Elain just locked herself in her room, Christmas music blaring, for hours on end to wrap presents with nothing but a sore back to show for it.

It puzzled her. Because Christmas had always been her favorite time of the year. She had never needed anyone else to feel the magic of the season, but this year…everything just felt less.

“Ooooh,” A deep, amused voice called from behind her. “Look what I found!”

Elain finished plopping an ornament into place, watching it bob on the branch, before turning to see Cassian’s hulking form holding a sprig of mistletoe and standing behind Nesta, who was hanging stockings on the wooden staircase, with his arm extended way over her head.

“I’m not looking.” Nesta clipped, straightening the stocking she’d had since childhood. It was already perfectly straight, but Elain knew Nesta wouldn’t give Cassian the reaction he was looking for.

“C’mon Nes,” Cassian whined playfully, his red Christmas sweater tightening over his chest as he leaned closer to her. “You have to play the game.”

Elain averted her eyes, a soft smile on her face as she turned back to the tree. Without really seeing what she was doing, Elain plopped the last few bulbs on the tree and snuck out of the room. She could hear Feyre and Rhysand whispering to each other in the kitchen, their voices low and full of humor and Elain couldn’t help but veer up the steps, away from everyone else. A hollow pang cleaved her in two as she took the steps, one by one, as she made her way upstairs.

She sighed as she looked at her room — bed unmade, scraps of wrapping paper on her desk, a pile of laundry on the floor that she hadn’t had the energy to put away. Elain had always been quieter than her sisters, always needed a little more time to herself, but lately she couldn’t even look forward to the holiday activities she yearned for all year. Their annual showing of Rudolph. The Christmas Lights drive through. All of it just seemed like a chore. Her eyes landed on a fuzzy white bunny, snuggled into her twisted comforter, and a sense of loss nearly knocked her off her feet.

Just last year Azriel had won it for her at the Winter Carnival. It was at one of those games that was definitely rigged, but Azriel had somehow beat the system and won her the stuffed bunny. She could still remember how the freezing cold turned his cheeks bright red and how his snow dusted knit cap was pulled over his ears and caused his thick dark hair to poke out in every direction.

Even though they had broken up, Elain still slept with Mr. Funny Bunny.

It was the night of their first kiss. Elain bit her lip as the memory came crashing through her. Cold, it had been so cold and snowy, but they had stayed out all night at the carnival. The neon lights made it feel like a movie and it had originally been the entire group, but they peeled off one by one until Elain and Azriel were walking through the crowd with their gloved hands clasped. Elain remember thinking that she wanted to rip off their gloves just to hold his bare hand despite the fact that the wind would have left her skin red and chapped. She remembered holding Mr. Funny Bunny to her chest all night while they walked around, the only ride they went on was the Ferris wheel (Azriel never teased her for being afraid of heights, and he didn’t rock the basket like Cassian always did) and Elain hoped that Azriel would turn and kiss her as soon as they were stopped on top. He didn’t. All night she silently prayed for a kiss and nothing. But his hand was in hers when he didn’t have it wrapped around her shoulder.

Elain remembered how cold she was when they finally went back to his car, how he held her hands to warm them up as he waited for the heat to kick in. They were huddled over the center console, Azriel’s hands frantically rubbing heat into hers, and Elain kept looking at his smooth cheek that was bright pink. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his cold skin, pulling back as soon as her courage abandoned her.

“Thanks for my bunny.” Elain said softly, smiling shyly at him.

Azriel blinked at her, his eyes so bright that it was impossible for Elain to look away. A small smile unfurled on his lips.

“You missed.” Azriel said lowly, his voice deeper and fuller than it had been all night. Elain tried to keep the confusion off her face. Azriel slowly tugged her in closer and Elain swore time actually paused until his lips met hers. Warm. They were so warm and soft and suddenly time came crashing around her, moving at warped speed to make up for when it was suspended between two lovers anticipating their first kiss.

Elain pulled herself out of the memory. Pushing past the feeling of the shocking cold of winter’s night, she grabbed a pair of shoes and a jacket. Her car keys looped around her fingers as she slowly crept back downstairs, her eyes trained on the living room to make sure that no one saw her leave.

She forced herself to drive slowly. The snowfall getting heavier with each passing minute, but Elain could have driven the route with her eyes closed.

When she pulled up to the old, familiar house she saw that the only light on was coming from the kitchen. Her breath caught in her throat, knowing that Azriel was inside, wondering what he was doing. By the time she finally left the car her fingers had turned cold.

Snow crunched under her feet as she slowly made her way to the door, her stomach twisted in on itself as she raised her hand to knock. The soft sound rattled her nerves.

It didn’t take long for Azriel’s large form to appear in the doorway. Her breath turned hot inside of her lungs as she peered up at him. Gray sweatpants hung loosely at his hips and a white t-shirt hugged his biceps — Elain bit her lip. He had gotten more muscular since the last time she’d seen him.

His hazel eyes blinked at her in surprise, but he forced a small smile onto his face as he greeted her.

“Hi,” Elain replied, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “Can I come in?”

Azriel quickly nodded, his overly long hair fluttering around his face and stepped aside.

Elain tried to make herself as small as possible, her shoulders curving in on themselves. Her eyes looked around, soaking up the house she hadn’t been in for months. From the corner of her eye she saw Cassian’s gaming set up and a small Charlie Brown tree with the lights turned off. Her heart cracked. She had asked Cassian earlier that day if they had any decorations and he said no — Azriel must have set it up while Rhys and Cassian were at her house.

“Are you ok?” Azriel asked, his brows pulled together as he looked at her. The concern on her face melted away all the tightness in her body.

“Yeah,” Elain said with a soft smile. “I just—,” Elain swallowed the ball of emotions building in her throat. “I missed you.”

Elain’s cheeks were heating in tandem with his.

“I miss you too,” Azriel said softly, his expression turning unbearably soft. “I, uh,” He cleared his throat. “I was just making some cookies if you’d like to help.”

His cheeks were bright pink, like he had been out in the cold night air.

“I’d love to.” Elain smiled, toeing off her boots and following Azriel to the kitchen. She used to walk around this house freely, had made countless cookies in the kitchen, but now she had to wait for Azriel to make the first move.

Elain could see the screen of his laptop on the counter. Her heart swelled at the familiar website and she couldn’t bother tempering her wide smile.

“I would have made these for you.” Elain said, her eyes taking over the ingredients spread messily over the counter and the small pile of flour that spilled before meeting Azriel’s eyes.

Azriel pulled at his dark hair, not meeting her eyes.

“I know,” Azriel said quietly, leaning over the countertop to play with his laptop. His elbow propping him up. “But it didn’t feel right to ask,” He swallowed before his bright eyes finally met hers. “I’m on step four.”

The two worked quietly together, the conversation ebbing and flowing and always light. Both of them sneaking spoonfuls of cookie dough when the other wasn’t looking.

“I wasn’t sure which butterscotch chips you used.” Azriel admitted, breaking apart one of the cooling cookies and handing her half.

“Just Nestlé,” Elain said with a smile, accepting his offering. “You got the right ones.”

Azriel’s phone lit up on the counter. A text from Rhys. While his face might have been impassive to anyone else, Elain saw the flicker of emotion before it vanished.

“Rhys and Cassian are snowed in tonight,” Azriel said, his eyes trained on his phone as he replied. “So they’re staying at your place tonight.”

If Rhys and Cassian couldn’t get home…then neither could Elain. A warmth washed through her body.

“How bad do you think the roads are?” Elain asked quietly, her eyes briefly flickering to the front door before landing back on Azriel’s face.

“Not drivable,” Azriel said lowly, slowly looking up at her under dark lashes. “You’ll,” He swallowed. “You’ll probably have to spend the night.”

Elain nodded in agreement and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“That’s fine with me, if it’s ok with you.” Elain said, her cheeks bursting with heat.

He smiled at her softly.

“I’m not going to kick you out into the cold, Elain,” His voice was thick and Elain knew his cheeks would be warm beneath her hands. “I’ll get you some clothes for tonight.”

Elain nodded, feeling frantic as her mind ran circles around itself. Her blood a low fizzle in her veins.

“I’ll, um, clean up the kitchen in the meantime.” Elain said motioning to the dishes in the sink. Azriel was a messy baker, evidently, but Elain had managed to clean up most of it while the cookies were baking.

When Azriel left Elain turned her attention to the soapy dishes and took her time, trying to calm herself before facing him again. It felt like the calm before something momentous happened. Elain placed two cookies on a small plate before following Azriel up the steps, she could see his bedroom light in the hall and followed it.

Azriel was placing a pile of folded clothes over a neatly made bed, but Elain noticed the pile of linen bunched in the corner.

“I changed the sheets,” Azriel said before turning to look at her. “You can sleep here and I’ll take the couch downstairs. And I found an extra tooth brush, I put it on the counter in the bathroom,” He nervously ran a brown hand through his wavy hair, only for it to fall back over his eyes. “Cassian had a dentist appointment the other day and got the free toothbrush.”

“Do you think he still chats with all those metal instruments in his mouth?” Elain asked, taking a step closer to him and holding out the plate.

Azriel’s smile grew across his face, showing the barest hint of his dimple.

“Probably.” Azriel agreed and picked up one of the cookies off the plate.

“Thank you,” Elain said quickly, taking small bites out of her own cookie. “I had a really nice time tonight.”

She could feel Azriel’s gentle gaze on her, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. Knew that he’d be able to read her like a book the second he looked at her.

“Elain,” Azriel started gently, his voice brushing over her skin like a warm blanket. “Why did you come over here tonight?” Azriel asked, taking the plate from her hands and dusting off the crumbs from his fingers before placing it on his dresser.

She took her time chewing before swallowing the last bite of cookie before finally turning to look at Azriel, the weight of her emotions heavy around her heart.

“It’s just,” Elain swallowed, her fingers curling into tiny fists. “It didn’t feel like Christmas this year,” She admitted, sharp pricks against her palms as her nails dug in. “You know?”

The air got heavier as Azriel slowly walked towards hers, and Elain couldn’t stop the way her body relaxed when his hands landed on her shoulders. Her body just melted and leaned towards him.

“I know,” Azriel whispered. “I know, Elain.”

Her arms wrapped around his slim waist and her head thudded against his chest. Instinctively, Azriel’s arms wrapped around her small shoulders, his fingers running along her back in comfort.

Warm. He was so warm. And his spicy scent washed over her and made her feel so safe that Elain has to physically hold herself back from nuzzling against his chest.

Elain counted to ten. Let herself have those last few seconds before pulling away and excusing herself, grabbing the stack of clothes Azriel had set out for her and locking herself in the bathroom. She could hear him moving through the closed door. Acutely aware of his movements as she brushed her teeth and changed and she thought that he’d use the time to leave, but he was still there when she opened the door.

Her heart fizzled when she saw that he had turned down the blanket for her and turned off all the bright overhead lighting so that only the warm, cozy lamp next to the bed lit the room. Azriel’s back was towards her as dug through his dresser.

“Did you find everything?” He asked, not looking back at her.

“Yes, thank you,” Elain said, not moving further into the room and bit down on her lip. “Do you—”

“Do I?” Azriel looked over his shoulder at her, half of his face was cast in shadow, but Elain could make out the small frown between his brows.

“I’d hate to put you out,” Elain swallowed. “You don’t have to sleep on the couch. We could share.” She jerked her chin towards the bed.

Emotions slipped off of his face in a way Elain knew only happened when he was feeling overwhelmed.

She thought she saw a rosy tint to his cheeks.

“If you don’t mind putting up with my cold feet, that is.” Elain said, warmth rushing through her at the broad smile that broke out on Azriel’s face.

He dropped his head and fished out the clothes he was looking for.

“If you’re sure,” Azriel said, finally turning towards her fully. “I know how cold you get at night.”

He brushed by her as he walked towards the bathroom, his scent still settled over her long after the door was shut and she heard him moving around.

Normally, Elain would have taken the opportunity to look around and explore his bedroom – curious to see if there were any artifacts of their relationship out in the open or tucked away, but her body moved towards the bed on its own volition. Maybe it was seeking warmth, or maybe it was seeking more of Azriel’s spicy scent.

It was there, despite Azriel changing the sheets, she could still smell him. Elain allowed her eyes to drift shut and let her senses fall into the aroma. They only opened again when she heard the slight creaking of the door and saw Azriel’s dark form backed by the bathroom light.

Her heart ached at the familiar sight as she smiled at him and shifted towards the side of the bed, bringing one hand up to pull the blanket back in an invitation. Elain watched his every movement, as he turned off the bathroom light and slowly walked towards the bed, his face beautiful and bathed in warm light before switching off the lamp by the bed.

She felt the bed shift under his weight and her body instantly tensed as he settled in. Elain didn’t know exactly what she was fighting against – maybe how badly she wanted to slip into her old ways and wrap herself around him, or maybe it was against the onslaught of emotions that tumbled through her like dice.

“This is a bad idea.” Azriel said, his voice thick like honey.

Elain smiled into the dark.

“Probably the second worst idea we ever had.” Elain said, sadness dinging her heart despite her smile.

A rough, strong hand searched for hers under the blanket. Elain didn’t put up a fight as Azriel tangled their fingers together.

“That wasn’t our idea.” He said quietly.

Sorrow washed over her and Elain tried to push it away, but it still ran through her like veins of cold water.

Their bodies curled into each other, her back pressed into his front and Azriel’s arms draped over her waist. Their fingers still locked together. Elain didn’t even have to ask him to warm her feet, he just did it.

“Do you ever think that maybe,” Elain swallowed the ball of emotions growing in her throat. “One day we might be able to…” Her voice turned weak.

“Be together again?” Azriel asked, his calloused thumb rubbing over the back of her hand.

Elain nodded her head.

Time felt suspended as she waited for him to continue — everything that was soft and vulnerable, her hopes, her emotions, felt like an ornament placed too low on a branch. Ready to fall and shatter.

“Yes,” Azriel admitted, his arms tightening around her as he pressed her further into his chest. “I think about it all the time. I think about how in a year you’ll have graduated and will be kicking ass in the workforce,” Elain smiled at his words. “And I could be living on my own now, but that just seems lonely.” And Azriel had spent so much of his life alone, Elain knew that. “And we’ll have our own place with more than enough space for you to garden. And a massive kitchen.”

“One day.” Elain squeezed his hand, feeling her eyelids grow heavy and watching their future life play out behind her closed eyelids as Azriel whispered into her ear. And on the cold, snowy night, Elain finally felt that everything was as it should be.

------

Thank you so much for reading!!! I really can't go without posting any holiday fics :) . I'm hoping to post at least one or two more this season!! <333

#elriel #elain x azriel #elain archeron #pro elriel #azriel #elriel fanfiction #elriel fanfic #fawnandshadows writing

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b00kdiary · 1 year ago

Text

Wildest dreams (IV)

ACOTAR The Batboys x Plus size reader

Where the reader finds herself gaining the attention of the most notorious males in Prythian and it seems that even her wildest dreams couldn’t prepare her for the night they would share.

Notes: This has Rhys, Cassian and Azriel with a plus-size reader since I literally couldn’t decide who it should be and thought that the best fantasy in the world would be all three :) Here’s to all my thick, fat, plus-size girlies who want some bat-boy love too xo

Warning: mature themes (18 +) swearing, body-image issues, smut and the bat boys being utterly infatuated with their thick, beautiful lady

Part I Part II Part III Part V

Rhysand’s room was bigger than my entire apartment.

That’s all I could think as we winnowed in and I spotted the ornate and large armoires, nightstands and table, the plush sofa, the floor-to-ceiling windows, and the bed large enough to fit five males.

Or three males with wings and one female.

I opened my mouth to retort something about how ridiculously lavish this entire place was but as I turned on my heels, I stopped short at the sight of the three males before me. They were watching me, their bodies still as death, and yet their eyes shone like stars, dark and enthralling, sweeping over my body like a caress of the wind.

I felt myself tighten, a shiver running down my spine at the need and arousal wafting off of them and as Rhysand moved to the side, smirking wildly and then leaned his back against the wall, tucking his hands into his pant pockets, I knew that it was happening.

“Do your worst darling” Rhysand purred, his voice like silk in my mind.

I bit my lip, my eyes moving back over to Azriel and Cassian, both of whom stood near the doorway, their attention patient yet hungry upon me.

But I didn’t want to be patient anymore.

My legs were shaking and numb, but I steeled my nerves and in the near silence of the room began walking over to the Illyrian males. I saw their bodies stiffen, their eyes tracking my slow and deliberate movements as I neared them.

I approached Cassian first, a shy smile gracing my face as his expression lifted into a cheeky and knowing grin and as I stood before him, close enough to feel the warmth of his skin and the strong male musk of his body, all I could comprehend was how badly I needed him.

“Kiss me” I breathed, my words near-silent as my hands grazed up to lay at his chest and I tilted my chin to look into his eyes.

To see the exact moment that he lost control.

Cassian surged forward with grace and ferocity, his head ducking to capture my lips and I felt a whoosh of air spring from my lungs at the impact. I gasped, back arching and nails curling into the fabric of his shirt at the first taste of the sweetness of his lips, at the way his hands instantly moved around my body to grip me against him like a vice.

His lips were hungry against mine, devouring and satiating as he trapped me to him, fingers digging into my flesh. I moaned as his tongue entered my mouth, invading and battling against mine, a struggle that I more than happily lost.

My brain was fogging over at the sheer demand and want that Cassian kissed me with, at the feeling of his strong hands and muscled chest, the feeling of how much larger he was in comparison to me.

I whined slightly as I pulled away, laughing quietly at the look of disdain on Cassian’s face. My chest was rising and falling in harsh waves, but I inhaled deeply, gathering myself before shifting my body and turning to lock my gaze on Azriel.

I waited, cocking my head to the side as we remained locked, his stare wholly dark, a small tilting smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Azriel mused, raising a brow at me and I suppressed the laugh that threatened to escape me.

“Aren’t you going to come join the fun?” I asked, my voice shaking but I raised my chin in defiance all the same. Azriel chuckled lowly and my entire body lit up as he began to stalk over, his body and dark shadows exuding power and dominance.

My body prickled in anticipation as he came to stand before me, stopping close enough that his chest brushed against my taut nipples, so sensitive that I inhaled sharply at the feeling. Azriel smirked, eyes shining, noticing that subtle shift in my heart rate and breathing.

“I want you to kiss me, Shadowsinger,” I said, lifting a shaky hand to trail my fingers softly over the smooth skin revealed at the base of his throat. I gasped as he caught my hand in his own, his large and scarred fingers closing tightly over mine and he tugged me closer, his breath at my ear.

“I don’t like being told what to do, sweetheart,” He said, low and sinister “Why don’t you try again?”

He pulled back marginally, his eyes narrowing in a challenge and though a part of me wanted to push back and give him hell, I couldn’t ignore how heavy my breasts felt or ignore the steady and throbbing ache that tormented between my thighs.

“Azriel” I whimpered, shivering at the smooth touch of his fingers now at my cheek, “Please.”

That’s all it took, I saw his smirk turn feral and then he had his hand around my throat, firm but not painful as he pulled me in and crashed his lips against mine. I moaned, eyes fluttering shut, and my body melted into the security and firmness of his hold, the feeling of his hand at my throat making my pussy soak and my head spin.

Azriel’s kiss was different to Rhysand’s reverence or Cassian’s ferocity, his lips moved against mine in deep, languid strokes, passionate and indulgent in a way that had every flick of tongue or scrape of his teeth shredding more and more of my self-control.

I arched my back as Cassian pressed against it, his hands stroking over the flesh at my waist and hips, squeezing and kneading the flesh. My body was electric as Azriel pulled back, but I barely had time to comprehend as Cassian’s lips dipped to the juncture of my throat and began sucking and biting against the sensitive skin.

I gasped, eyes screwing as my body and mind overwhelmed itself, the feeling of hands tugging and gripping and their mouths kissing and biting across my skin and neck. Azriel was now at my breasts, kneading and pinching the sensitive flesh and I groaned, my head lolling back and resting against Cassian’s chest.

The material of my clothes was irritating against my skin and in my frenzy of need, I didn’t hesitate to start tugging at the cloth. I watched as Azriel and Cassian both paused, deep and satisfied hums escaping them as I tugged down my dress, my breasts falling out and exposed to the harsh wind.

“Fuck” Cassian swore, his fingers tightening as he eyes my exposed chest and any feeling of vulnerability or shame washed away at that look. I twirled, capturing Cassian’s lips in mine, my back now pressed to Azriel’s chest as his hands moved to cup and fondle my breasts. I sighed into Cassian’s mouth as Azriel tugged at my nipples and I felt my whole body tremble at the feeling.

I bit lightly against Cassian’s lip as I drew back earning a gruff chuckle and a swift and harsh tug of his hands at my breast, and Azriel huffed out a laugh at the whimper of pain and pleasure that escaped me at the action.

“Please,” I pleaded, eyes wide as I raised my gaze to Cassian then turned my head to the side to look at Azriel.

“You want more angel?” Cassian asked, trailing a finger around my nipple in a whisper of touch and I groaned, nodding my head desperately in response. Azriel smirked, his head dipping to press a sweet kiss against my collarbone before he and Cassian both pulled back from me.

Alarm filled me at the sudden loss of warmth, but I watched as Rhysand walked over, grinning as he stopped just before me.

“Take a seat on the bed darling, we’ll take care of you,” He said softly, his hand gently as he tucked a piece of my hair behind an ear.

I nodded, moving to the huge bed and carefully, I sat on the edge. I watched with bated breath as they all stood, towering over me and I suddenly felt silly that my breasts were out, and they were all fully clothed.

As if hearing my thoughts, Rhysand’s gaze dropped and he marvelled at my breasts in the light, moonbeams streaming in through the open space and cascading over my skin. I blushed at the appreciation in his eyes, and he grinned in response.

I leaned back onto my arms as Azriel silently came forward, my breath stuttering in my chest as he dropped to a knee at my feet. He smiled softly, his scarred hands trailing down the exposed skin of both thighs before he lifted my right, bending it at the knee.

I furrowed my brows, but my heart fluttered as I watched his attention drop to the lacing of my heels and with swift fingers, he began undoing the ties.

It was oddly serene, watching as he untied and then removed my right heel, placing it at his side on the floor. He held my ankle, pressing a tender kiss to my shin before slowly lowering my foot back down and grabbing my left leg. Again, with unhurried agility, he untied and removed my left shoe, and I watched as they disappeared, magicked to cauldron knows where.

Cassian and Rhysand moved to sit on either side of me on the bed, and I sighed at the feeling of their thighs against mine and their hands on my skin.

Rhys kissed my jaw and cheek, his hands trailing against my neck and then lower, cupping my breast. I exhaled harshly, my eyes fluttering shut at the feeling, of pleasure filling me as his hands began to tug and roll the taut bud between his fingers. I sighed contently as his hand moved downwards, tracing over my stomach and then to the side of my waist.

And my body froze as his hand reached the two strings knotted together at my waist.

He immediately paused there when he felt me clam up, my breath halting in my lungs as I realised what he intended to do.

“May I untie this darling?” He asked quietly. I swallowed hoarsely, my head slowly shifting to meet his eyes. I was weary, insecurities and worries eating at me but the small and encouraging smile that Rhysand gave made the breath ease in my lungs.

I inhaled and exhaled to steady myself, my eyes closing for a moment to gather my wits. I focused on the feeling of Azriel’s hands at my thighs, the small, soothing circles he drew there, then on the feeling of Cassian’s chest pressed to my side and back, that strong wall of safety.

And then to the sweetness in Rhysand’s eyes.

That lack of judgement, the whole desire that I knew he felt, they all felt when they saw me.

I blinked my eyes open and with a steady exhale, nodded my head.

“Yes, you can untie it.” The words escape me with an easy exhale and Rhysand’s lip tilts at the corner, the stars in his eyes twinkling as he looks from me, down to that knot at my side. I try and force myself to breathe as he swiftly unties the knot and with nimble fingers, begins to unwrap the material to expose my body beneath.

Their eyes are all on me and I feel Cassian’s rough fingers trail my skin, helping Rhys to tug the dress down my arms, letting it pool around me on the bed. My face was heated, feeling my stomach, breasts and legs all bare to their eyes, the lace panty I wore covering my most intimate part.

I cringed moving my arms to cover myself, to cover all the parts I disliked that the moon was highlighting but Rhysand clucked his tongue, his hands gently pulling my arms away. I met his stare and saw the fire burning in them as his gaze trickled down my flesh, and not even for a second did I see him look unimpressed.

“So beautiful,” Cassian muttered hoarsely against my neck, kissing the flesh there and the sweet words made me purr, my eyes fluttering at the contact. I bit my lip, looking from Rhys to Cassian and then Azriel, and they all looked insatiable still, making sure to show me how much they adored my body with their dark eyes and feral smiles.

I turned my head, silent as I brought my lips to Cassian and he groaned as I dragged him into a deep, slow kiss, my hands moving to Rhysand, pulling him to touch me, needing the feeling of him on me. Cassian grows wilder, teeth and tongues clashing as he devours me, and I moan as Rhys fondles my breasts, the ache between my thighs growing.

I pull away when Azriel begins tracing over the band on my underwear, still on his knees before me, looking as if he was ready to worship every inch of my skin, so dark and tempting. I saw the question in his eyes as he looked at my underwear, and when I lifted my hips, he smirked, his hands gentle as he tugged the material down my legs, inch by inch.

He marvelled at the spot between my thighs, his breath hitching as he pulled the material down the last inch and discarded it on the floor behind him. None of them seemed to be breathing, not as I slowly parted my legs, my body trembling slightly before settling them on Rhys and Cassian on either side, their hands possessively clamped down on the flesh, keeping me spread wide open.

Azriel kneeled and stared, his chest rising and falling unevenly, rattled as he admired me and my body heated at the look, at the desire but that ache was steadily growing and I shifted uncomfortably, needing him to touch me.

“Come on, Az,” Cassian muttered, his freehand running soothingly through my hair, running it down my exposed back and I shivered in response, “She’s been such a good girl for us, stop teasing her.”

Azriel smirked, raising a brow at me as if in challenge and I pouted, my breathing stuttered and harsh in the silence of the room. But then my breathing stopped entirely when Azriel lifted both hands, resting them on either side of my thighs, and with his shining eyes locked on mine, his head moved forward- inching to where I needed him.

The first flick of his tongue had a moan mewling out of me and my back arched, resting against Rhys and Cassian beside me. Azriel huffed, the breath cool against the most sensitive part of me and then dove back in, still soft, his tongue whirling against my clit- still teasing.

“Oh Cauldron, Azriel, please.” I moaned and Rhysand laughed under me, his hand tracing my nipples, cupping, and fondling my heavy breasts, but it wasn’t enough. Azriel kissed my thigh, and just as I was about to growl at him, he latched onto my clit, and I gasped.

Azriel ate me like a man starved, his tongue lapping against me in long languish strokes one second and then flicking hard and fast against me the next, drawing wave after wave of pleasure from me. I moaned, my hips bucking, and Cassian and Rhys were at my side, holding me down, watching and pressing sweet kisses to my neck, or pinching against my nipple.

Azriel groaned against me, the deep heady rumble reverberating against my core and making me clench, my eyes falling shut at the overwhelming feeling that wrecked through me. I had males go down on me before, rarely, but it had never felt like this.

“How does she taste brother?” Rhysand mused, suckling against my neck and I curved my neck to the side to allow him better access, feeling his sly smirk against my skin. My body shook as Azriel pulled back, a light sheen of wetness coating his uptilted lip and an ethereal shine glinting in his hazel eyes.

“Like heaven, Rhys,” Azriel breathed, moving to lick a bold stripe up the length of my core, making me whimper and writhe, “Like fucking heaven.”

He goes back in, grinning against me as I pant, my hand coming to lace into his hair, my fingers knotting into the silken locks, tugging at the root when his teeth scrape against me. My moan is almost embarrassingly loud, but Azriel feeds off it, suckling harder and my toes curl when I feel two fingers prod me, and something in me coils as he pushes those two scarred fingers in and curls.

“Fuck, watching you like this is maddening angel,” Cassian groans, his head dipping and his mouth latching onto my nipple, his teeth biting against me. He does this in tandem with Azriel’s fingers fucking in and out of me and I’m a moaning, writhing mess before them.

“I can’t-“ I cry out, too many hands, too many sensations, too much pleasure. Then suddenly there’s a flash through my mind and I’m looking at myself, and Cassian and Azriel- through Rhysand’s eyes.

My body is arched, and Cassian looks feral as he toys and sucks at my breasts, looking euphoric as he pleasures me. And then Azriel, who sucks and nibbles on my clit, clueing onto how I’ve started to tremble, and my breath has begun stuttering, his fingers a steady, firm rhythm plunging into me, the sound so lewd.

“Look at how perfect you look, Darling,” Rhys purrs, caressing my mind “I think we could all stay here for the rest of our fucking lives and worship you.”

Azriel runs his teeth against my clit, his fingers curling inside me in tandem and that dam of pleasure and ruin within me snaps. My back arches, and I watch myself, moaning and chanting Azriel’s name as release courses through me, making me shake and buck and writhe.

He doesn’t relent, still nibbling slowly and his fingers curling in and out of me and Cassian pulls back watching me, admiring me as my chest rises and falls with sharp, desperate breaths.

“Fuck,” Cassian muttered, and I nearly had to beg Azriel to stop teasing me, when he plucked off from my clit, slowly easing his soaking fingers from my pulsing and aching core.

My face was flushed, and my body was sweaty and hot from it all, and as my eyes fluttered open and met with Azriel, my cheeks heated with shyness. He grinned, his mouth still wet and his fingers running soothingly across my thighs, easing the tension, and shaking in them, guiding me down from my high.

I didn’t say anything, instead, I ran my hand down Azriel’s hair and neck and slowly pulled him up onto his knees and his face closer to me. I tasted the sweetness on his lips, tasted myself on his lips, and groaned into it as he pushed his tongue into my mouth, kissing me deep and slow and needy.

I drew back hesitantly from the kiss, my face inches from the Shadowsinger’s and the adoration in his eyes made my heart skip a beat. He looked over me, seeing the sweat and heat, my heart still racing, and his eyes softened.

“We can stop here if you’d like,” He said quietly, his eyes showing he meant it, “We don’t need to keep going.”

“I want to,” I ran my thumb over his lips gently and then sat up, looking at a smiling Cassian and then at Rhys, who was smirking, gratification and pride shining in his purple eyes. “I want to, so bad.”

And that’s all it took.

_____________

@satellitesunshine @queenofangrymoths @highlady-ofillyria @ladespedidas @magical-mischief-makers @lyracarvahall @ummmmmwat @eerievixen @bitchyinternetinfluencer @meritxellao @rachelnicolee @fanfictioniseverything @queen-of-arda @magdalenka @bunnymallowo @azzydaddy

#acotar #sjmaas #sarah j maas #rhysand #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #cassian acotar #smut #azriel x reader #cassian x reader #rhysand x reader #acotar smut #plus size reader #curvy reader #rhys x reader #bat boys x reader

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spellbookd · 1 year ago

Text

Little Mouse

Pairing: Azriel x f!Reader

Summary: azriel has a new toy to play with, and she is oh so much fun

Warnings: semi-public sex, stalking (??), dubcon (coercion), very slight dumbification, dacryphilia, azriel's a little weird (but like in a hot way)

Words: 4733

A/N: first fic on this blog and my first smut fic ever 🫣 kinda nervous. I really enjoyed writing this and I want to get into writing smut more often, if you have any suggestions, please let me know! I'm always up for constructive criticism.

NSFW below the cut, minors DNI

The winding corridors of the palace left you dizzy, lips set in a deep frown as you searched relentlessly for the entrance to the library. Your first day and you were already late…not that it was your fault, anyhow. Your escort for the day decided not to show up, so you were left wandering the halls of an unfamiliar palace that felt like it was triple the size of Velaris itself. What a mess.

Coming to an open landing, you frowned. There were two hallways on either side of you, and both looked entirely identical, with no signs or indicators telling you which way to go. “You’d think with a palace this big there’d be at least someone walking around.” You muttered, glancing down both hallways to see if anyone passing by could help you. Alas, it was utterly empty, leaving you standing in the middle of the landing, looking completely idiotic.

“I swear, whoever this Azriel guy is…” you groan, throwing yourself down the hallway on the left, opening the door at the end only to be met with another splitting corridor. “I’m going to kill him.”

At your words, you hear a rustle behind you, causing you to whip around quickly, eyes wide. No one was there, the corridor behind you was still empty. “Hello?” you call out, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. No one was here…and yet…a scent brushed past you, mist and cedar and something distinctly male. You frown again, walking further into the landing, searching for whoever may be hiding here. The feeling of being watched takes over you, gooseflesh rising over your skin, and before you can stop yourself, you’re calling out again, “I could really use the help, you know.”

There’s still no response, and tears start to prick at your eyes in frustration, a pout forming on your lips. You pull the invitation letter out of your pocket, reading over it again to ensure you aren’t missing any details. There were no instructions on how to reach the library, only a key to your dorm room and specific instructions to wait for a male named Azriel to escort you there. After twenty minutes of waiting in the foyer, you decided it would be better to look for the library yourself…obviously, you were incredibly wrong “This blows, I’m so late.”

You turn to head back the other way when a large male body comes into view, leather wings outstretched and a small, almost imperceptible smirk gracing his lips. You’re surprised at first, jumping at the sudden appearance of the male, but you sag in relief, hopeful he can show you where to go.

He says nothing, only watches you silently as you smile awkwardly, throwing your hand up in greeting. “Um, hello. I’m one of the new scholars invited to study by the High Lord and…I seem to have lost my way to the library.”

You wait for his response, but he stays silent, only stepping closer to you, observing you in a way that makes you shift on your feet. You tear your gaze away from him, swallowing thickly before adding, “Do you…um…do you happen to know the way? I’m already very late…so…”

Finally, he replies, voice dark and smooth, “Yes.” That’s all he says before he turns on his heel, circling back through the hallways you had just come through. You struggle to keep up, pace speeding up to match his long stride. He notices, a smirk curling at his lip, yet he does nothing to correct it. Irritation lights a fire in your veins, what the hell is wrong with this guy?

He looks down at you, and you rush to shift your gaze, taking interest in the art along the walls of the palace instead, hands wringing in nervous habit. As you’re walking, you get the distinct feeling that he’s watching you, despite his eyes being trained forward, locked on the journey to the library. You swallow thickly, teeth poking out to chew on your bottom lip when he breaks the silence, “Don’t be nervous, Little Mouse, you have nothing to fear.”

You tense at his voice, looking up at him with wide eyes. Little…mouse? “Uh…sorry.” You reply awkwardly, gaze shifting away from him again, speeding up your walk once more to try and get out of this situation. He stops you, blocking your path down the hallway. He’s painfully handsome, you think. It’s a shame that when he opens his mouth, his beautiful face can’t make up for it.

“There’s no need to apologize, Little Mouse,” you bristle at the name, and his smirk deepens as he turns around, pace faster than it was before. “I do find your nervousness to be quite amusing. I must admit, it’s been a while since I’ve been so entertained.”

Your legs strain to keep up with him, and a slight annoyance lifts your tone as you bite back, “Glad I could be of service.”

He chuckles at your reaction before coming to a stop in front of a large wooden door. His smirk widens as he pushes it open, gesturing with a hand for you to enter. You nod in thanks before stepping over the threshold, the awkward encounter forgotten entirely as you take in the sight of the library, floor-to-ceiling shelves stacked high with books, all of various age and binding. It’s difficult to hide your grin at the sight, immediately forgetting about the male and stepping up to the first shelf, fingertips brushing against the cool leather spines.

“Now, why would you be so excited about…a library.” You nearly jump out of your skin when the strange male is once again next to you, thinking he would have left after he escorted you to your location.

You don’t turn to him, still scanning the shelves for books in your area of study, “You’re kidding, right? All this knowledge, laid out right in front of you? How could you not be excited?”

He smiled softly now, suddenly more genuine than he had been this whole time, “You have a point…this library is home to much knowledge and secrets.” He pauses, smirk settling once again, “You’re right, Little Mouse. It is quite exciting.”

You turn to him fully now, eyes narrowing dangerously, “Why do you keep calling me that? I do have a name, you know!” You snap, though that only seems to spur him on, grin widening at your outburst.

“It suits you, don’t you think?” He chuckles softly, bending down so he’s at your level. You back away from him, attention returning to the shelves.

“You could at least give me your name, since you’re so insistent.”

“Azriel.” He replies, and you can hear the humour in his voice as you whip towards him, eyes full of rage.

“You? You were supposed to be leading me from the beginning?”

He laughs heartily, “I was with you the whole time, Little Mouse.”

Your mouth drops open at that, and it’s then that you process the male’s scent. Cedar and mist. As if to prove his point further, he rustles his wings behind his back, emitting the same sound that you heard back in the corridor. Now fuming with rage, you push past him, grabbing a random book off the shelf and walking towards the tables in the middle of the library, fixing him with a glare as you pass, “Right. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.”

His smirk is enraging as he gestures towards the tables, letting you walk past him without saying another word.

You find a corner of the library, hidden away from everyone else, and lay out your supplies. Reading over the title of the book, it’s something that you aren’t even remotely interested in, but there’s no way you’re going back over there and facing that male again. Instead, you crack the book open, flipping to the introduction pages before dipping your pen in your ink and beginning to take notes. Soon, you immerse yourself in your work, everything else fading away into nothing.

A few hours pass with no interruption, and it isn’t until you are bored to tears by the book that you hear the chair in front of you squeak, a heavy body falling into it soon after. “That seat’s taken.” You lie, not looking up from your page, eyes drooping with sleep. Whoever is in the seat doesn’t move, only leans backwards casually. Annoyed, you look up, only for your eyes to widen as you spot Azriel, staring at you intently. He smiles wide, and if he wasn’t such an asshole, you would find him utterly beautiful.

“There she is.” He says, and you couldn’t help the flip your stomach did at the tone. You rolled your eyes regardless, turning back to the book with no response. He leans forward at that, arms resting just at the top of your book, his heavenly scent devouring your senses. “Am I that unimportant to you, Little Mouse?”

You grit your teeth before giving him an indignant look, shutting your book forcefully. “Don’t you have, I don’t know, a job? Anything better to do than just sitting here and harassing scholars.”

He chuckles at your irritation, “Why does my job matter right now?”

“Because I’m trying to do mine. And you’re making it incredibly difficult. Go be a nuisance somewhere else.”

“Aww, you don’t want me with you?” he smirks, and you realize at that moment that this is just a game to him. He’s riling you up for his pleasure, because for some reason, he’s decided that you’re his source of entertainment for the day.

“Leave. Me. Alone.” You bite out, capturing the attention of the other scholars and priestesses around you. You flush at the attention, embarrassed, before sinking into your seat.

The gleam in his eyes shows that he particularly liked that outburst, an amused look morphing his features, “Oh? Was that a bit louder than you expected?”

Having none of it, you gather the book in your hands and throw your supplies into your bag once more, not caring if the ink is dry. “I’m leaving. Have a nice day.” you bite out, standing from your seat and rushing towards the door.

Before you can get to the door, he appears at the threshold in a wreath of shadows, a splitting grin morphing his features. You recover from your shock quickly, moving to push past him, but his wings snap out, blocking your exit entirely. “Oh, Little Mouse, you aren’t going anywhere just yet.”

Anger seizes you, and before you can think, your hand is raised, open palm connecting with his cheek in a loud slap. As soon as you’ve done it, your eyes widen, and you back away from him, terrified of what he’ll do. Surprisingly, the male only chuckles, leaning towards you, “Did that make you feel better, Little Mouse?”

Before you can reply, he’s backed you into a wall, hands on either side of your body. As he leans closer to you, lips brushing your ear, “I’m not ready to let you go just yet.”

Tears prick your eyes at the contact, your heart hammering in your chest, begging for someone to walk past and save you from this situation. His wings flare out, blocking your view from behind him. “Please,” you whisper, tears now falling down your cheeks, “this isn’t fun for me. Please, let me go.”

You tremble as a soft chuckle reaches your ear, breath caressing the side of your neck, “It’s very fun to play with you. I enjoy how easy it is to take control of you.”

You shudder at his words, searching for anything to get him off you so you can make your escape. “S-surely the High Lord would not be happy with you…harassing one of his scholars.”

He chuckles dryly, wings loosening from their taught position behind him, but his smirk is still proud, “I doubt Rhysand will be angry with this.” His words are threatening, but despite his tone, he’s stepping away from you. “In any case, I’ve enjoyed our time together, Little Mouse…and I will most definitely see you again.” He takes a step back, offering you his hand. You stare back in astonishment, surprised he would let you off this easily. “For now, you should clean up those tears…no matter how amusing it was to see them.”

Ignoring his hand, you rushed to the door, pulling it open with all your might before hurrying down the hallway, rushing up to the left staircase where your invitation said the dorms would be. You didn’t dare look behind you, sure that if you did, he would be waiting there for you, ready to pounce.

~ ☆ ~

The next week passes with no encounter from Azriel. You are slowly getting used to the swing of things at the library and even made a few friends with the other scholars studying here with you. You didn’t tell any of them about your encounter with Azriel, afraid of what they may say. Apparently, he’s a big hit with the females around here, and you have to wonder if any of them have had any real interactions with him. Sure, he’s beautiful, but the fear he instilled in you that day…you couldn’t imagine he could behave in any way other than that.

You pointedly decided to ignore the fact that you hadn’t been able to get him off your mind these past few days. Even more so the fact that you had your fingers buried in your cunt just last night, imagining it was his hand working you so well, his words playing on repeat in your head. Yes, that absolutely didn’t happen at all.

Pushing the thoughts of him out of your mind, you arrived at the library, choosing another secluded spot in the corner. Soon, you’re consumed in your work, hastily scribbling notes on your parchment about healing herbs and what they’re used for. Utterly entranced by the topic, your brows furrow in concentration, pausing only to dip your pen into your ink pot. You worked late into the night, barely noticing the passage of time, even as scholars and priestesses packed up their belongings, ready to turn in for the night. You loved when your work consumed you like this like all that mattered in the world was you and the words you worshipped, like not a single thing could break you from your stupor.

“Studying, Little Mouse?” A voice like velvet whispered into your ear, startling you. You grit your teeth, but chose to ignore the insistent buzzing in your ear, only dipping your pen back in the ink and starting from where you left off. He chuckles and leans closer, peering over your shoulder to see what you’re doing, “Oh, I do love it when you are lost in a book like that…”

You ignore him still, but an involuntary shiver runs down your spine, and you bite your lip to suppress the blush that rises to your cheeks. “Maybe I could find a better use for you instead…”

You can practically hear the smirk in his words, and you can’t help the whimper that escapes from your lips. Your hands tremble, pen falling from your grasp and rolling onto the floor, and you know he’s won. He chuckles, clearly amused by your reaction, and grabs hold of your chin, pulling your face towards him. “Hello, Little Mouse.” He whispers, and your eyes glaze at the sound of it, “I think it’s time you gave me your full attention.” You swallow thickly at his words, eyes wide as you gaze up at him. His smirk remains, “It’s so easy to get a reaction out of you. Have I been on your mind?”

Your face burns, breath stuttering out of you, and he looks at you like he knows exactly where your hands have been. Quickly, you push his hands away, scrambling for anything to get him to leave you alone, “I told the High Lord about you, you know.” His brow quirks, and you know he can tell you’re lying, but you turn back to your work anyway, “He was not pleased.”

“Oh, you told Rhysand on me, did you? And what did he say?” You bend down, reaching for your pen off the floor, only so you didn’t have to face him. “He said there would be repercussions to your…behaviour.”

“And how exactly is he going to hold me responsible?” He watches you intently as you turn your face back to him, and you know he finds pleasure in watching you scramble for a response.

“I-I wasn’t privy to the details.”

He leans down, now eye level with you, “What do you think Rhysand will do to me, Little Mouse? What do you think would happen if he knew I was here, right now, with you?”

Your eyes narrow, lips curling into a sneer. “I imagine you’ll be in trouble for harassment.”

His smirk was devilish, head tilting as he watched your expressions, noting the blush on your cheeks from the proximity, “and how can I tell if my attention is truly unwanted?” He pauses, eyes flicking down to your lips before meeting your eyes again, “I think I can convince you to change your mind.”

Your hands move up to his chest, attempting to push him away, but he grips your wrists in his own. The grip is not painful, but it’s enough to still you, eyes widening at his actions, “I don’t want you.”

“I think you’re lying to yourself. Your lips and your body are telling me two different things. I think you want to give in…you’re just too stubborn.” You struggle in his grip, only for it to tighten. He chuckles at your attempts, “There’s fear in your eyes, but there’s something else, too. Care to tell me what that is?”

“Go to hell.”

He laughs then, a hearty chuckle that has his shoulders shaking, “Oh, you are just too cute.” He cages you between the table and his body, face only inches from yours as he leans over you. You’re sure he can hear your heart hammering in your chest, or scent the arousal now pooling between your legs, unable to stop your body’s natural reaction to him. “You want this, I know you do.” His voice is smooth as silk as he whispers, “I could take you, right here and now.”

You choke at his words, eyes widening, and his answering grin tells you he’s got you right where he wants you. Like a mouse caught in a trap. He leans in further, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” teeth graze the lobe of your ear, and your answering whimper only spurs him on further. “Would you like the feeling of my lips on yours? My hands on your skin?” He pauses, emphasizing the point by slowly grazing the cold skin of your thighs and pulling away to watch your expressions as the next words leave his mouth, “What about my cock, Little Mouse? Would you like that?”

Your body betrays your mind, legs pressing together to relieve the pressure gathered there. He notices, eyes flicking down, keenly aware of how your body reacts to his words, “You’re not doing a very good job of hiding it anymore, are you?”

“Leave me alone.” You say weakly, voice breaking, and he only laughs at your stubbornness. You push away from him, hands grappling for purchase at the edge of the table, but he follows you, keeping the same distance. All it would take was a slight inch forward, and his lips would be on yours.

“I know you want me, Y/N. It’s only a matter of you giving in.”

It’s the first time you’ve heard your name on his lips, and the sound of it breaks your composure. Without a second thought, you’re surging forward, lips pressing against his, moaning at the taste of him. He’s grinning into the kiss, pulling you from your seat in the chair and wrapping his arms tightly around you, causing you to tremble in his embrace. You whimper softly as his teeth graze your bottom lip, and he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue against yours. You melt into him, the taste of him more intoxicating than the finest wine.

Without warning, he takes hold of the back of your thighs, lifting you onto the table, books and ink forgotten entirely. You spread your legs for him, and he slips between them before wrapping your thighs around his waist. His lips leave yours, trailing down your jaw to the column of your throat, leaving wet, hot kisses in their wake. You moan desperately, grinding your hips against his hard body, aching for any friction. “I thought you didn’t want me, Little Mouse?” he chuckled into your skin, emphasizing his point with short little bites, causing you to jolt into his touch.

“Shut up.” You snap, pulling his lips to yours for another kiss, “you talk entirely too much.” Your words are cut off as his hand pulls your hair back roughly, exposing your neck to him as he sucks on the spot just below your jawline, causing you to cry out. “I much prefer it when you’re moaning for me.” He whispers, hand trailing up your bare thigh, slipping past the hem of your dress. You arch into him, grinding against him once more, begging for his touch.

“Please, Azriel, I need you to touch me.” Your words are coming out between short pants, and he grins at the desperate tone in your voice, cock straining against his pants as he watches you lose yourself in him. “I thought of you all night. Couldn’t get you off my mind.” You cried out, whimpering as his hand trailed further up your thigh, so close to where you needed him most.

“Yeah?” His lips found purchase on your neck again, revelling in the way you shivered into his touch as his fingers finally brushed over your clothed pussy, slick with need. “Thought of me while you played with yourself, didn’t you, Little Mouse?” You nodded helplessly, your cunt clenching around nothing as his fingers toyed with your clit through your panties. You arched into him again, whimpering against him, completely unable to use your words to tell him what you wanted. He seemed to enjoy torturing you, watching as you writhed beneath him at the slightest touch. “Of course you have. I’ve hardly touched you and you’re already dripping.”

He pushed your panties aside, and the first touch of his fingers against you had your blood searing. Your hands flew to his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt as fingers circled your clit at a torturous pace. You bucked into him, eyes rolling back, cries falling from your lips as you begged him for more.

“You’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” You could practically hear the smirk on his lips as he pulled his hand away, leaving you cold and throbbing. You whimpered at the loss of contact, only to cry out as his fingers plunged inside you, starting a ruthless pace. You moved with him, hips bucking against his hand to meet him halfway, practically trembling at the way his fingers curled just right, brushing against that spot you couldn’t quite reach on your own. He chuckles as a particularly loud moan leaves your lips, relishing in the way your walls fluttered around his fingers. “You like that, Little Mouse?” His pace quickened, thumb brushing over your clit in quick, tight circles. You were sure you were on fire now, hovering at the edge of release. “Come on my fingers, pretty girl. I know you want to.”

You threw your head back at his words and came with a cry, clenching around him as your release dripped down your thighs. He groaned at the feel of you, thoroughly working you through your orgasm until the last shudders of it passed through you. He pulled his fingers from your heat, and a whine tore from your lips at the loss of him, mind still fuzzy from the overwhelming pleasure he had given you. You barely had time to recover before he was removing your underwear completely and pulling your hips towards his, his cock sliding into you in one fluid thrust. You yelped, pressure building behind your eyes as he pulled back and slammed into you, over, and over, and over, giving you no time to adjust to the stretch.

“A-Azriel!” You panted, gripping the fabric of his shirt for dear life as he continued his relentless pace. “S-slow down, it’s t-t-too much!” Your stuttered words only spurred him on, teeth clamping around the junction of your neck and shoulder to muffle the deep, needy groan rumbling through his chest.

“Is this what you imagined last night, with your fingers buried inside you?” His raspy voice rang through your ears, and your cheeks heated as you nodded, panting helplessly. “Were you imagining my cock, Little Mouse, making you feel good?”

“Yes, gods, yes!” The coil in your stomach wound tight, and before you knew it, you were coming again. Stars danced across your vision and tears flowed freely down your cheeks, wordless babbling falling from your lips as he pounded into you with no reprieve.

His cock twitched at the sight of you, hand coming up to push your cheeks together, forcing you to look in his eyes. His grin was wild, eyes blazing as he spoke “Have I fucked my little scholar stupid?” His other hand lowered from your hip to pinch your clit, sending jolts of electricity down your body, tears flowing faster until you were sobbing through your pursed lips. He groaned deeply, hips stuttering “My Little Mouse looks so pretty when she cries.”

Suddenly, he was pushing you down so your back lay flat on the table, one hand returning to your hip as the other continued to pinch and flick at your clit. “One more sweetheart, just give me one more.” He pounded into you harder now, a feral gleam in his eye as he drank in every moan, every sob, every broken cry. His resolve was thinning, but he held fast until your cunt was clamping around him again, nearly losing his senses as various iterations of his name fell from your lips like a prayer. He spilled into you at the same time you arched off the table, deep, guttural groans joining your high-pitched whimpers like a symphony. His pace finally slowed, chest heaving as he watched you writhe beneath him, eyes screwed shut and cheeks wet with tears. You were still fluttering around him when he pulled out of you, and you whimpered at the loss, unable to form a single coherent thought as he stuffed himself back into his pants.

His insufferable smirk was back on his lips as he looked down at you, glancing between your legs to watch as his release spilled out of you down your thighs, and onto the surface of the table. Your cheeks flushed, but you had no energy to retort back as you lay panting on the table. Hell, you weren’t even sure if you could walk. Your limbs felt molten, and you were sure any attempt to stand would leave you falling to the floor in a heap. As if reading your thoughts, he pulls you into a sitting position, one arm bracketing around your waist as the other brushes your hair behind your ear. His touch is surprisingly gentle, and you can’t help the shiver that runs through your spine as you look up at him. He wipes away the lingering tears with the pad of his thumb before speaking, “You did so well for me, Little Mouse. Playing with you was entirely too much fun.”

His hand grips your chin, bringing you into one final kiss before pulling away from you entirely. He walks away, leaving you gaping after him until the door to the library swings shut, leaving with not a single glance back at you. Taking a few minutes to compose yourself, you stand on weak legs, sliding your underwear back on before gathering your things, all the while wondering how the hell this situation even arose.

You weren’t entirely sure, but you had a feeling it was far from over.

#acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #azriel smut #azriel fanfic #acotar fanfiction #acotar smut

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fieldofdaisiies · 7 months ago

Text

Modern AU based on Blue Neighbour by Troye Sivan. Eris and Azriel used to be childhood best friends and in their teens they discovered they have feelings for each other. Beron found out about them and punished Eris and forced him to break the contact with Azriel. But when Beron dies years after, Azriel… songs used for this story: Wild, Fools, Talk Me Down, Youth, Rush, One of Your Girls (all from Troye Sivan) for @azrisweek | azrisweek masterlist | read on ao3 | includes explicit content

A loud, buzzing sound rings out in the otherwise silent meeting room. Azriel's hand immediately slams down on his thigh, trying to press the silent button of his phone through his suit pants — without success. He needs to pull it out, which is something Rhysand, his boss, doesn't like to see at all.

The phone is in Azriel's hand for a mere second when Rhys's voice echoes through the meeting room, his gaze stern when it lands on Azriel, "No phones in the meeting room!"

I guess that rule doesn't apply to everyone here because when the baby daddy gets sent a photo from little Nyx, he is rather quick to check his phone, completely ignorant to the no-phone rule, Azriel thinks, but doesn't dare voice.

He only tips his chin at his best friend and slides his phone back into the pocket of his pants, only for it to resume its vibration against his leg.

Rhys' gaze is still on him, still stern and slightly reprimanding. Azriel decides not to risk it and wait until the end of the meeting. The call can't be that important, can it?

Later, Azriel learns that he was wrong. The call was important, and the news he learns from the accompanying text messages pulls the rug out from beneath his feet.

Two missed calls and a message appear on his screen alongside some Instagram notifications that now seem very irrelevant. Azriel enters the break room, his phone already unlocked, and opens the messages from his mother. His heart slams to a halt.

Mum: Beron Vanserra passed away in the early morning hours. We are all invited to the funeral on Sunday, 11 am. Greg and I are leaving this evening. Join us, please! Love, mum!

Azriel's hands start to tremble, turning a little clammy. He never considered going home again, not after everything that happened, not since New York had become his new home.

He opens the chat, his thumb hovering above the letters, unsure how to respond. He doesn't want to leave his mother on read, especially not after a message like this, but he has no idea what to say… or do.

Azriel: Thank you for the information. I'll consider it.

He shoves his phone back into his pocket and helps himself to a cup of coffee before returning to the meeting room.

Maybe going home after more than ten years isn't that bad of an idea, Azriel thinks, but he knows it will re-open wounds that have finally almost healed.

And Azriel would see him again. Beron Vanserra's son. Eris Vanserra. And Azriel doesn't quite know if he likes the thought of that.

How will it go? How will he feel seeing him after such a long time? The last time he saw him, he was seventeen, a boy; now, he is almost 28, a grown-up man.

A lump the size of a peach starts to form in his throat, and he has difficulty swallowing even the smallest sip of coffee. His hands are still shaky, and breathing seems a little harder now. Azriel's gaze moves to stare at the tiny droplets of rain cascading down the floor-to-ceiling window.

They haven't spoken since he moved away, though the first few years in New York were filled with missed calls from Eris that went unanswered and were eventually blocked. He couldn't do that to him, give him hope, string him along, not when there was so much at risk.

Azriel tips his head to the side to think, to recall a moment in the past, a few strands of hair shifting with the movement. A few years ago, when Nesta, his best friend's girlfriend, downloaded Instagram for him, he found Eris and tried to follow him. The man never accepted his request and left Azriel with no idea what had happened in Eris' life. It makes him feel uneasy. Sad.

Did Eris move away? Did he stay in the village they grew up in? Did he fall in love? Did he marry? Has he fallen in love again?

Somehow, the thought of this makes a large crack appear in Azriel's heart, and he shakes his head a little. He will have his answers soon and then have to live with them, no matter the outcome. He wouldn't be staying long, only for the funeral. He doesn't have to worry or care about Eris for longer than the weekend. It should all be alright–

"Break's over!" Rhysand claps his hands. "Let's continue, shall we?"

Reluctantly, Azriel follows him back into the meeting room, his mind racing with questions he tries to push away. He doesn't want to think about Eris or seeing each other again,- but he can't avoid the directions his mind wanders.

Will they talk? How will they act around each other after so many years? How will Eris speak to him? Treat him?

His string of thoughts –thank God– is cut short when Rhysand directly addresses several questions that Azriel is too distracted and unfocused to answer. Usually, he is perfect at his work, but right now, his thoughts have strayed all over the place. He fidgets with a pencil, constantly flipping it over or tabbing a melody against the tabletop.

In the past, he had no real reason to consider returning home. He didn't have anyone to return home to. His mother moved away with him, and his abusive father left with his new family to settle in the West many years before he'd left that village with his mother. Azriel hasn't heard from his father since their move, which he isn't unhappy about. He is relieved to no longer have such a person in his family.

"The documents are on my desk by Monday, got that, Az?"

Azriel clears his throat and nods. He has no idea which documents Rhysand is talking about, but he’ll figure it out. Now, other things matter more- namely, making up his mind. Should he attend the funeral with his mother and her new husband, or should he stay and leave his past entirely behind?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Mum: We're leaving at seven. Have you made up your mind? Love, mum.

Azriel has only stared at the text since returning to his loft. It is long past seven now, and he hopes that they have already left. It would buy him more time. More time to consider his decision and think about all the possibilities that could come up when he returns home. When he sees him.

Eris Vanserra. His first friend. His best friend. His first love. His first kiss. His first time. His first heartbreak.

Returning back to the village he grew up in, to the place he once loved so much and that later hurt him so much, isn't an easy decision. He was a young man then and hoped never to spend a day without Eris. They had made plans for their future that he tried to push as far away as possible in the years after he left but plans that he now remembers.

They often talked about it, relaxing in the meadow below the bright afternoon sun, limbs entangled, lips mere inches apart.

What if, what if we run away?

What if, what if we left today?

What if we let them fall behind and they're never found?

Everything was good in those moments. Together, they had dreams, hopes of a promising and bright future shared with each other. They wanted to move to New York together, study at the same university, get married, adopt children - but it was all wishful thinking. None of it came true. Azriel went to New York alone because he had to. But nothing was keeping him in his hometown either. No one was holding him there…

Azriel folds a scarred hand over his eyes. The marred skin of his hands still serves as a reminder of his twisted and messed up childhood, a reminder that his step-brothers never faced anything more than reprimanding for whatever they did to him.

He doesn't allow himself to go down that traumatic path, and he reminds himself that their torture is wholly and entirely over and will remain in his past. He will never see his father, step-brothers, or step-mother again. That won't happen. He wouldn't allow it.

Instead, Azriel thinks back to the day he left and the tears he shed. He cried from the village to the airport, wetting the fabric of his mother's shirt as she held him in her arms and let him sob into her shoulder. The questions that plagued him on that ride to the airport plague him now, and he mulls them over once more:

What if Beron had never caught them? What if they had never fallen in love? What if he stayed and—?

Azriel sits up and wipes a cold hand over his face, brushing back a few strands of hair. A deep sigh parts his lips, and he turns on his phone. The picture of him, Nesta, Gwyn, Emerie, and Cassian staring back at him from the glowing screen

He recalls vomiting the moment he opened the door at the airport, and later, on the plane, he opened up to his mother, telling her everything about his sexuality and Eris. His mother had long suspected that Azriel and Eris had been more than just best friends, but she never said anything, wanting to give him time to open up. While holding his hand on the plane, she told him she didn't care if he liked boys or girls and would love him nonetheless. He will always be her little boy whom she is immensely proud of and loves wholeheartedly.

Azriel inhales a breath that feels too heavy and too large for his lungs, which have somehow constricted. He starts to type.

Azriel: You don't have to wait for me. I'll take a cab tomorrow morning.

Instantly, almost as if waiting for his reply, his mother sends a thumbs-up, and then three dots appear. It will take her a moment to answer. Azriel knows this, and he closes his message. In the meantime, he goes on Instagram, flicking through pictures of his best friends and their girlfriends, and with a loud sigh, he closes the app again. All those happy couples…

Azriel lets himself fall back into the bed, groaning when his sore back slams into the pillows. He drops his phone onto the mattress beside him, waiting for the ping of response.

Mum: Alright, Azriel. But let me know when you arrive so we can let you in. We'll be staying at Uncle Devlon's place. Love, mum.

Azriel is now the one to send a thumbs up.

Mum: It will be fine, my dear, don't worry about seeing Eris. I'm sure he missed you just as much as you missed him. Don't be afraid.

He leaves the message unanswered, trying to figure out how to respond. He isn't particularly afraid or worried. He doesn't know what he feels—too much at once, too little, or maybe nothing.

Azriel flips his phone away and folds a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the city lights filtering through the window. New York is falling asleep, but he is wide awake, far away from sleeping.

Deafening silence fills the room, surrounded by darkness; he suddenly realises that he is worried that Eris will ignore him. Concerned that there will only be small talk between them. Worried that Eris has moved on without him and no longer thinks about him like Azriel does. Worried that–

There will never be a future for them. And maybe this is good. Maybe Eris has moved on—of course he has, Azriel thinks. He has probably found a wife or a husband, and perhaps he even has children now. Ten years is a long time; a lot can happen in ten years.

Azriel's head starts spinning from all the thoughts and questions, so he decides to get up, shower, and start packing for his weekend trip.

His hair is still damp when, half an hour later, he returns to his bedroom. He dons some sleeping pants and falls into the bed, curling up on his side. His alarm is set, his phone is in flight mode, and his vague but adequate messages to Cassian and Rhysand are sent (he's going on a little trip for the weekend, and his destination and purpose are unrevealed).

A silent tear slips out of his eye, accompanied by a soft sob. One thing becomes apparent: yes, he is going home, but he is not going home to him. He will return to the village he grew up in, but not to Eris.

The lie he's told himself these past years, that he stopped caring about Eris, that he has stopped thinking about him, suddenly falls apart. Azriel has thought about him. A lot. And he still does. And sometimes, many times, he finds himself yearning for how it once used to be.

He wants to sleep next to him. And that's all he wants to do right now. And he wants to come home to him. And that's all he wants right now.

He doesn't just want to return to the place he once called home; he wants to return to where he fell in love with his best friend. He wants to return to Eris Vanserra, but not as a man whose heart was broken but as someone who can dare to hope for a future together.

He still wants Eris, and he hates that even after ten years, his wanting has never changed.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Azriel's heart presses down on him like a rock heavy with emotion as he closes the cab door. He waves off the driver with his weekend bag in hand and sunglasses pushed back into his hair. He sets off down the dry path leading into the centre of the village and to his uncle's house. The town is small now, and at 28, Azriel notes how close everything else is- his father's house and, a little further down the path, Eris' family home.

Almost like in a movie, pictures flash in front of his vision—of a childhood that seemed unburdened for everyone on the outside. A childhood that maybe wasn't too warm and loving, but one he shared with Eris. They grew up almost in the same exact way, with loving mothers, brutal fathers who didn't shy back from using violence, and brothers who supported that kind of action.

Azriel's jaw tenses, and he stops, only staring ahead at the houses, the facades weathered and dulled over time, at the village stretching out in front of him. Most things have stayed the same. He can make out the same swimming pools, houses, and living rooms he and his friends used to play in. Unchanged little houses with trees on the hills in the far distance where he and Eris used to spend quiet nights together.

As he walks a little further, he nears an old garden fence. The colour of it is already crumbling, but Azriel still remembers that it was here, right by this fence, next to the big apple tree, where they almost kissed for the first time.

"Are you finally going to tell me what happened?" Eris raises a questioning brow at Azriel, who scrunches his nose in response, his eyes half-closed due to the bright sun. He holds tightly onto his worn school bag and then says, "There is nothing to tell."

"Azriel, I can see your blue eye; it is quite obvious." He reaches out, his fingers curling around Azriel's upper arm, stopping him from walking. "I thought we would share everything with one another."

Azriel shrugs a shoulder. "It was nothing. I ran into–"

"His fist, right. He hit you again, didn't he?"

Azriel shrugs again.

"I am going to punch him."

"After I punch your father," Azriel chuckles, but the sound lacks warmth or humour.

"This is messed up," Eris mumbles and steps closer to his best friend, tipping his chin up with his thumb. "But you need to be honest with me. Tell me when he hurts you so I can be there for you."

Slowly, Azriel starts to nod, but then his eyes drop to Eris' lips. Suddenly, He is so much closer, only mere inches away. Eris' eyes are locked with his but also momentarily slide to Azriel's lips, his Adam's apple bobbing. "We can't do this," Eris whispers, but instead of moving away, he leans closer. Azriel does, too, holding his breath. "I know," he answers, his tone equally breathy. "But–"

Eris's baby brother Lucien interrupted them, calling Eris' name from the porch and then running towards the two best friends. Lucien was only seven years old then, and Eris picked him up easily when he reached them—he must be a teenager now.

Azriel remembers that they were both relieved that their moment ended that way, but only two weeks later, they really kissed, and from then on, there was no more holding back. They kissed a lot back then, but always in secret.

It was two months later that everything they had and loved ended. It was when Beron's cruelty reached its peak, and he—

"Azriel!" The squeaking of door hinges disrupts his daydreaming. "Didn't I tell you to let us know when you arrive?!"

"Mother." Azriel dips his chin after having turned around. "It's good to see you." He cracks a small smile when his mother throws up her hands in despair.

"You never listen to me, Azriel Marino!"

"I always listen to you, Mama." After closing the distance between them, he wraps his arms around her shoulders and kisses the top of her head. "Always."

Eleni Marino harrumphs loudly but hugs her son tightly. "Come in. Your uncle is looking forward to seeing you."

Azriel doubts that. His uncle probably only wants to see if he is still the small weakling he always used to call him. But the joke's on Uncle Devlon because Azriel is no longer small or weak. He has grown a lot, including his muscles, which Devlon probably never thought possible. He has changed a lot, and he can't wait to see the look on his uncle’s face.

"Uncle," Azriel greets upon entering the living and dining room, his chin dipping to his chest, his voice low. His gaze runs over the old man sitting in his armchair - ten years can do a lot to a man – who once used to be a strong and fit army general, is now an old man with white hair and sunken cheekbones.

"Azriel," he croaks and rises from his chair. "Let me look at you. You have grown up." He assesses him through half-closed eyes, shuffling towards him. "You've grown a lot, boy. How has college been treating you?"

Azriel wants to open his mouth to say that he dropped out of college after the first semester and decided to work instead, but when he meets his mother's gaze, she shakes her head, and it tells him everything he needs to know.

"College is good. Got good grades and made friends," Azriel says instead, knowing that to keep the peace here, it is wiser to lie a little. Devlon would only ask why he dropped out and then blame them for not having enough money to afford it. Consequently, he would blame Azriel's mother for not working hard enough to make studying at a uni possible for her son. And then blame her for not staying with his father. Abusive or not, it had never mattered to his uncle. So, this small white lie has to do.

"How's life been treating you, Uncle?"

Devlon shuffles away, wiping his mouth with his hand, and plops down on the armchair again. "Good, good," he mumbles, pulling a blanket over his lap and leaning back. Azriel is sure he dozes off a moment later so he turns back to his mother with a chuckle.

But there is no amusement on her face. Looking worried, she reaches out her arm to clasp Azriel's hand. "Lunch will be ready in around an hour. Go see him now."

Azriel's throat bobs, his fingers naturally curling tighter around his mother's hand. "What if he doesn't want to see me?"

"You'll only find out if he wants to see you if you go to him. Otherwise, you will be plagued with what-if questions and doubts for the whole weekend. Go see him and talk to him. I'm sure he has missed you just as much." Eleni inhales deeply, "After all, you also used to be best friends at one point."

Best friends and so much more, Azriel thinks. Slowly, he begins to nod, his hands having turned cold, his heart feeling a little heavier, and his feet are somehow rooted to the ground, making it impossible for him to move immediately. He needs just a moment longer, holding onto his mother's hand like he is once again the young man who was sobbing into her shoulder when they left ten years ago.

"Go now, Azriel. I'm sure he's still at the chapel, preparing everything for the funeral tomorrow."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

With his heart rapidly pounding, Azriel walks down the familiar path to the chapel he used to take many times when he still lived here, his mind swirling with memories. Every step he takes feels heavier as he nears the old house of prayer, wondering if Eris will truly be there.

He has mindlessly followed his mother's suggestions and now doubt gnaws at him about whether he should have come. Uncertainty clouds his thoughts, and nervousness tightens his chest. What if Eris doesn’t want to see him? What if he ignores him? What if he is mad at him?

Will he even recognise him after all these years?

Of course he will, Azriel thinks. He hasn't changed much. He has only grown and built up some muscles. His face is still the same.

His heart nearly breaks through his ribcage when he reaches the door, the crisp air burning down his throat with every inhale. For a moment, he feels like fainting or throwing up, but then his hand reaches for the door handle and pulls it down. The door opens slowly, too slowly, and silently. So silently that Eris doesn't notice him.

He is standing at the altar, arranging some flowers, and for a moment, Azriel forgets how to breathe.

Eris Vanserra is more beautiful than ever, breathtaking, to say the least. Azriel can't tear his eyes away, slowly letting his eyes run over the man in front of him, and his knees wobble. Eris has cut his hair, but not too short. He also gained some muscles and now wears a beautiful beard that perfectly complements his look.

Azriel stops on the threshold, unable to move further, hand still on the door.

"Stop that!" Azriel playfully smacks Eris' hand away, lying on the grass, laughing.

"A flower in your hair would look cute."

"I am not cute," Azriel grumbles, sliding his hand into Eris '. The red-haired boy lies down atop his chest and tips his head back to look up at Azriel.

"You are cute." Eris grins.

"Stop being cheesy."

"Never!" Eris smoothies his freckled hand up Azriel's chest, humming contentedly.

In the middle of this meadow, in the middle of nowhere, far from their village, they are safe. They have taken their bikes to get as far away from prying eyes as possible. Only here can they be true to themselves and love each other more deeply than friends love each other.

"Eris," Azriel hums, lifting the hand that isn't in Eris's hold to brush it through his boyfriend's auburn locks. "You make my heart shake, bend and break. But I can't turn away. And it's driving me wild. You're driving me wild."

Eris hums softly. "I love you, but why do I only find out now that you are one to spout poetry?"

Azriel's laughter rings out over the meadow…

It was probably the last time he had laughed so happily and freely. This moment was beautiful, as was the whole day. Azriel remembers that this day was also when they first slept together.

When he finally catches himself, his hand lets go of the door and he takes one step into the chapel. The inside is cold, and the scent of polished wood, aged hymnals, and candles lies in the air, mingling with the aroma of incense that adds a touch of spice.

Azriel inhales deeply, bracing himself for what he is about to say. A simple greeting, nothing spectacular, but he has no idea if he is ready for it. For whatever is about to follow the greeting.

But he doesn't have to speculate. Not when Eris has already noticed his arrival.

"I didn't think you would come." He places a candle next to the flowers, then steps back from the altar and turns to Azriel. His eyes run over Azriel slowly, and small flames flicker in Eris' eye. "But here you are. After ten years."

Azriel nearly chokes on his saliva, but in a croaky voice, he manages to say, "My mother—" only for Eris to interrupt him.

"Of course, your mother told you to come here," the red-haired male cuts in. "Of course, she is the reason you are here. She has always checked in. For the past ten years. Has always sent messages for Christmas and my birthday." A small, nostalgic smile appears on Eris' lips, and he wipes his hands down his thighs, clearing the soil and petals from the flower arrangement.

Azriel didn't know that, and it infuriated him that his mother had never told him—how dare she! How dare she keep contact with Eris and never tell him?

"Don't make it sound like a reprimand," Azriel grumbles. "I wasn't the one to break up–"

"You know why I broke up with you!" Eris counters.

"Because you were a coward."

A snarl parts Eris' lips, hurt flashing in his eyes, and at the exact moment, a pang of hurt pierces right into Azriel's heart. Is this truly how their first meeting after ten years goes?

"Says the one who didn't reach out a single time in all those years." A look of disgust spreads over Eris' face. He shakes his head and then approaches Azriel, stopping right before him. "Not one time."

"I tried to reach out, but you wouldn't accept my request on Instagram!" Azriel snarls,

"I don't even use this app," Eris retorts, "My little brother's girlfriend downloaded it for me, thinking it would be a good way to socialise and maybe meet a partner."

Azriel doesn't really know what to answer. He hoped their first meeting would be different after such a long time, but he had false hopes. Of course, it would go exactly like this. He should have reached out. He should have called, texted, come here, something.

But he didn't and now must pay the price for it.

"I didn't forget about you. Is that what you want to hear?"

A cold huff parts Eris' lips, followed by a cynical chuckle. "Hm, too bad that I did. And now I've got things to do. As you might know, my father died." He brushes past Azriel without saying another word, shoving the brown-haired male by his shoulder, and heads for the chapel door.

He doesn't give Azriel a chance to say something. A moment later, he is gone, and the door falls shut, a tremor coursing through Azriel at the loud pang.

He is taken right back in time. To the fateful day when his whole life fell apart. The day when Beron–

"I bet you're already hard for me." Azriel chuckles softly, his hand placed on Eris' bare chest, slowly travelling lower until it rests right above Eris' crotch, only the blanket and Eris' boxers separating between them. His lips find the spot right beneath Eris' ear that makes his boyfriend elicit the most sensual noises. Azriel loves those noises and could listen to them forever, so he lets his teeth run over Eris's sensitive skin, then pokes out his tongue and licks it.

"Always," Eris hums, hips jerking in response to his boyfriend's touch.

When Azriel's lips ascend, placing a trail of kisses up his boyfriend's throat, he slides his hand beneath the blanket, palming Eris through the fabric of his boxers.

Their lips meet in a frantic kiss, tongues fighting for dominance when he lets his hand slide beneath the fabric, but—

But the door slams open only a blink of an eye later, rattling the whole room. Beron barrels inside, seething with anger.

He most definitely drank a lot at the bar beforehand. He should have been longer, a few more hours.

Azriel only remembers a little of what Beron said to them, but a few words stuck.

"This is disgusting," he spits. "You disgust me!"

He hurdles for the bed, but both boys are unable to move. He is too shocked about Beron catching them and worried about what will happen now that he knows.

"What do you think you are doing, Eris Vanserra?" Beron shouts, pulling Eris up by his arm, and it doesn't take long for the first slap to land upon his face. "Rolling around in bed with a boy! You disgust me." He slaps him again, this time harder.

By now, Azriel is out of bed as well, screaming at the man to let go of his boyfriend and tugging at Beron's arm, but the man is more muscular. He shoves Azriel away; the young man knocks his head against the bedframe, and his vision goes black. Pitch black. Just like his heart, nothing but void filling the place that once used to beat happily for his boyfriend.

The moments after are a blur of consciousness and unconsciousness, and the next thing Azriel remembers is Eris breaking up with him, his face bruised and marred by markings of Beron's anger.

His throat is dry when he leaves the chapel, the back of his mouth aching. He couldn't help him back then because Eris didn't let him. He broke up with him and pushed him away — Beron prohibited them from ever meeting again. He claimed that Azriel had ruined his son, called him all kinds of homophobic nicknames, and threatened to destroy his mother's life should he ever try to get close to Eris again.

It was the most devastating moment of his life, surpassing even the time when his brothers burned his hands. Beron’s cruelty inflicted wounds on his heart that would never heal.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Azriel's sleep is restless, constantly rolling from one side to the other, the sheets tangled between his legs, his bare chest coated in cold sweat.

Moonlight filters through the curtain-framed window, casting the room in a gentle, blueish glow. It's still night and nowhere close to morning.

He raises his hand, letting his fingers coast over his lower lip.

"You need to smile, Az." A grin, reaching from one ear to the other, spreads over Eris' face while he is staring into the camera. "You are always so broody."

"I'm not!" Azriel snaps and playfully shoves his elbow into Eris' ribs who yelps.

"Idiot!"

"Say that again!" Eris turns to his best friend, and his breath catches. He reaches out, but stops himself.

"Idiot," Azriel chuckles and moves closer.

"Again." Eris leans in, eyes fluttering shut for a second, then dropping to Eris' lips.

"Id—" Eris' lips close over Azriel, but instead of pulling back, he kisses him right back, his hand falling to his neck, bringing him in a little closer. All hesitance is erased within seconds; there is only Eris on his mind—and his lips.

At first, their mouths meet clumsily, but soon they find their rhythm, lips parting, tongues exploring, tangling, and dancing. Eris places his hands on Azriel's hips, formally having kept them at his side, and that a little awkwardly. He draws Azriel closer, deepening the kiss and eliciting a soft moan from him.

"Not just best friends, huh?" Eris mumbles when pulling back from the kiss. A string of saliva still connects their lips, which he wipes away with the back of his hand.

Tears build up in Azriel's eyes. "I'm in love with you."

"I know," Eris answers, his thumb wiping over Azriel's cheek, catching some stray tears. "And I'm in love with—"

"Fuck!" Azriel rips away the sheets and sits in bed, his whole body feeling clammy from the cold sweat that had built up due to his vivid dreams. He knows he can't stay here, and he knows exactly where he needs to go. He just needs to see Eris and talk to him. He can't let the conversation from earlier hang in the air like this. He needs to fix what he ruined.

Grabbing the sweater he had earlier discarded in the room and donning it, he is out of the door before he can question his decision to go see Eris. He slips into his shoes as silently as a gazelle and then out the door, hoping his mother won't wake and question him about his whereabouts the following day.

Azriel straightens up when he walks down the path leading to the gate at the end of the garden. It creaks a little when he opens it, but he ignores it, only one target in mind: Eris. He still knows the way to Eris' place like the inside of pockets. (Maybe a little suspiciously, he queried his mother in the afternoon about whether Eris still lives there, and she confirmed it, so he knows exactly where he needs to go).

Azriel feels a sudden surge of energy – he wants to talk and fix what has been ruined this afternoon. And in the ten years he was absent.

He walks faster through the large, looming trees, their branches bending in the wind and leaves rustling and swirling.

Azriel remembers that Eris's favourite season always used to be autumn, and maybe this is a good sign. It is autumn now, visible everywhere outside.

But his blood runs cold, and his heart slams to a halt when his eyes land on a scene that also twists his gut. Hot and thick, jealousy bubbles up inside him, making the back of his mouth taste bitter.

"Well," Eris laughs, his features bright and joyful, his arm wrapped around the blond male's shoulders. "Thank god I have you."

Tamlin, if Azriel remembers correctly, flashes Eris a big grin. It makes the content of Azriel's stomach sour, and bile creeps up his throat. He can't believe that he truly lost his first love to him. This spoiled, rich prick!

"You are so lucky, Vanserra, to have me. What would you do without me?"

"I guess I would be hopeless," Eris laughs, pulling back his arm and letting it fall to his sides. "Thank you so much, really. For the arrangements, I couldn't have done them all alone, and with you being the best–"

Azriel can't make out the rest or hear what comes after best, but he can only guess that the word that belongs at the end of the sentence is boyfriend. Or worse, husband.

He can't believe it, and in his fury, and by trying to get closer, Azriel doesn't see a more prominent branch on the ground. His foot catches on it, causing him to trip and twist his ankle as he falls. "Fuck!" Azriel groans when his hands come in contact with the damp soil, and then pine needles pierce his skin. "Fucking bastard!"

He sits back on his heels and knows the moment he does, it was a big mistake. His ankle hurts like hell, and he has to bite down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from loudly alerting Eris to the fact that Azriel's sneaking around.

This is all so fucked up, Azriel thinks, and only wants to cry.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

"There you go," Eleni hands Azriel a new cold pack, then lets her hand rest atop his head. "You should have woken me, I didn't even hear you fall."

"I tried to fall silently," Azriel answers sarcastically and groans when he shifts on the couch. His ankle has swollen significantly overnight; stepping on his foot hurts insanely, but he wouldn't let it show. And he would most definitely never reveal what exactly happened. Another small lie – he tripped at the staircase when he got himself something to drink during the night.

He doesn't know if his mother truly believed him, but she didn't ask any further questions, and Azriel is more than grateful for that.

"I've been meaning to take a little boat ride with you, Azriel, but I guess we can forget that now."

As if good old Devlon could still ride a boat, Azriel thinks. "What a shame," he says instead, glancing at his uncle but then back at his ankle and the cool pack. The outer ice layer already starts to melt, and small droplets of cold water run down the sides of his foot.

Devlon doesn't say anything; a few minutes later, he asks Azriel's mother to follow him outside. They leave, and after checking if Azriel is alright with being alone, Eleni goes back into the kitchen to continue with lunch.

For a moment, Azriel wonders what his stepfather eats when his mother isn't there. Who cooks for him? Or does he order food or eat at his neighbours?

Honestly, Azriel doesn't care, so he rests his head on the pillow again, gets comfy, picks up his phone, and finds a few unread notifications. Most are from Cassian, who sent him photos and videos or tagged him somewhere. He decides to ignore them for now and clicks on the message from his good friend Gwyn.

Gwyn: Karaoke at 7, my place?

Azriel: Sorry, I can't.

Gwyn: ☹️

Gwyn: Are you brooding?

Gwyn: Should I get the romance movies out and come over to your place with some ice cream?

Azriel: You‘re not funny, Berdara…I'm busy.

Gwyn: Busy? Busy how? Are you on a date? 😏

Gwyn: 😏😏😏😏

Gwyn: Is he hot? Send a pic if he is!

Azriel places his phone screen down on the couch table and blows out a long breath. He lifts his gaze to the window, where he sees his uncle and stepfather standing outside in the garden, discussing something about the old cherry tree. He hears his mother in the kitchen, still cooking, and knows he has a bit of privacy.

He picks up his phone and clicks on Gwyn's name. Her lovely smile pops up on his screen when it rings, and then her voice sounds through the speaker, and Azriel lifts his phone to his ear.

"Hey!" Gwyn says, her voice tinged with a hint of worry. "You're alright?"

"I went home."

"Home to your apartment? Or home like…Massachusetts home?"

"The latter."

"Oh god!" Gwyn's voice is loud and tinged with surprise. "I'll ask again, are you alright?"

"I guess I am, I–"

"Eris?"

Just like his other best friends, Gwyn knows about his past with Eris. It wasn't too easy to open up, but on an emotional night together on his rooftop terrace with quite a bit of alcohol in their blood, he poured his heart out to his friend.

"I thought our first time seeing each other after such a long time would go differently."

"I'm sorry, Az," Gwyn mumbles sadly. "But I think you just need time. Maybe you can ask Rhys if you can stay a little longer?"

"I don't think it will help much." Azriel inhales a deep breath and sighs loudly. "Ten years is a long time, Gwyn. And not checking in with him once…it hurt him more than I could ever imagine." He lets his head fall back into the pillows.

"I understand, and I know that it is a damn long time, but if you still love him, it doesn't matter," Gwyn answers.

"It isn't weird that I still love him after such a long time?" Azriel asks, heart aching so much he folds a hand over his chest.

"Nope," his friend says, popping the p. "The heart wants what it wants, and if two souls belong together, they will eventually find their way back to each other. It isn't weird that you still love him; your first love will always play a big role in your life."

"Thank you."

"There's Nothing to thank me for, Az. Go get your man now." Her laughter is radiant even over the phone, and it gives Azriel the energy he needs to take the next step and do as she said: get his man.

"You think you can make it to the funeral tomorrow or– oh, I am so sorry, I didn't know you were on the phone."

Azriel places his phone down and shakes his head. "The call just ended, and yes, Mama, I can."

He has to. He didn't come all this way to stay in his uncle's home.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Another sleepless night follows the previous one, and as silly as it might seem to anyone who finds out about it, Azriel leaves Devlon's house once again in the middle of the night. This time limping, though. He drags himself down the staircase, which seems so much longer when you have a torn ankle. He manages to open the front door as silently as possible and slips through it.

It is the only chance he gets. The funeral is the following day, and then he will leave again. He has to talk to Eris, having been a coward all afternoon.

Once again, he is met by the crisp night air, only the sound of the wind dancing on the lake nearby and rustling the leaves of the large, looming trees in his ears surrounding him.

Picking up a few pebbles, he heads to Eris' family home. He walks down the small concrete path he has walked probably over two thousand times in his life. It still looks almost the same; a few trees have been cut down during his absence, but other than that, the buildings, the pavement, and the fences are still the same.

Azriel allows his gaze to stray, looking into some front yards. Even in the dark, he can make out the small swimming pools and swings. He remembers how he and Eris often met up at night, sitting on the swings in his uncle's garden, talking for hours about anything and everything.

They mostly only returned to their homes when the sun started to rise and slept until midday (of course, that was only possible during their breaks).

Azriel smoothes his hand through his hair, his heart having and picking up speed the closer he gets to Eris' place. Yesterday he was stopped, but tonight they will speak. His ankle still hurts, but he barely pays any attention to it, so focused on all the thoughts and questions in his mind.

What if he never moved away? Would they have found a way to be together and maybe already be married now?

He knows this is a silly fantasy, but one that is so beautiful it almost draws tears to his eyes. He can imagine them being married. He can imagine it so perfectly and loves the thought of it—and that even after ten years.

He and Eris fell asleep within each other's arms every night, waking together, having breakfast together, going to work, and then spending the evening together. And that on repeat for as long as they live.

It is what they always dreamt about back then. And it is what Azriel still thinks about now. It felt like that with no one he dated in the past ten years. He never felt like that. He never felt like he would love to spend the next 50 years with them, but with Eris?

With Eris, he can imagine everything.

His heart is racing like a wild horse when he enters the front yard of the large house, half of it swallowed by the large, looming forest behind it. They playfully used to call Eris' home Forest House when they were children, but when Azriel considers it now, he has to admit it really applies to it – it is a forest house.

He circles the house until he reaches his destination, still knowing exactly which window belongs to Eris' room. He climbed through it many times in their teen years, sneaking in in the middle of the night to–

Azriel cuts off his thoughts and turns his attention back to the pebbles in his sweaty palms. His gaze lifts to the window, and before he can stop himself, the first pebble slides out of his hand and strikes. Silence follows. He throws another. Then another. And another.

He is about to give up, his heart crushing in his chest, pressing down on his stomach, when a light flickers on in Eris' room. Eris appears in front of his window and glances outside, his long red hair tousled, and he is only dressed in thin sleeping pants.

Azriel lifts his arm, waving, and it takes Eris a moment to adapt to the dark and then spot him. He opens his window, shakes his head, and grumbles in an annoyed voice, "Go home and sleep!"

But Azriel won't give up that easily. "We need to talk." He is too stubborn to give up this time.

"So you can call me a coward again?" Eris huffs loudly.

"We need to talk about us," Azriel presses.

"At three in the morning?" Eris braces his hands on the windowsill, leaning closer. "My father is getting buried tomorrow, I need to sleep."

Azriel swallows his nervousness and worry, and his hands ball into fists, crushing the pebbles. "Please, Eris. Please, listen to me."

Eris steps away from the window, and Azriel's heart drops, just like his shoulders. The light in Eris' room goes off.

Then there is nothing but silence and darkness. The darkness creeps in around him. The wind howls, and a shudder courses through Azriel. He is shaking when he bends down to pick up some pebbles again, his ankle aching fiercely, but it is nothing compared to the pain inside his heart. It hurts so much.

But he won't give up like that. Not so easily. He messed up the previous day and in the years prior. This is his last chance, and he is going to take it.

The moment he lifts his hand, ready to throw another small stone, the house's back door suddenly opens.

Azriel's breath catches, and he feels like his knees will give in at any moment.

There he is. Having donned a thin tank top, Eris stands in the doorframe, his eyebrow raised. "Talk."

Azriel takes a step forward, trying to act as if everything is fine. "I am sorry for calling you a coward." He limps another step forward, grinding his teeth hard to bite back on the pain.

"Okay," Eris answers tightly, then his gaze dips, and he looks at Azriel's very obviously swollen ankle. "I assume that happened when you tried to spy on me Friday night? Did you see what you wanted to see?" Eris raises a brow, crossing his arms over his chest, the muscles in his upper arms rippling with the movement.

"I wasn't spying on you."

"Of course, Spymaster." The corner of Eris' mouth kicks up when he uses the nickname some kids gave Azriel in their childhood. He always used to spy on the adults and steal cookies and cakes when they didn't look, earning him this title. Azriel has completely forgotten about it, and his lips part in silent surprise.

"I went for a walk."

"At three in the morning?" Eris closes the back door behind him. "That's a normal time for people to take a walk."

"You were also taking a walk with your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend!" Eris almost shouts, then starts to laugh so hard he has to bend over. It infuriates Azriel, and he braces himself for hearing Eris say something like: "He is my husband, you dumbass."

"Tamlin is not my boyfriend." Eris has calmed a little and now approaches Azriel, his bare feet padding softly over the cool, dewy grass. "He is my best friend, and this guy is as straight as a pole and married to Briar. I'm not sure if you remember her."

Azriel can barely swallow around the lump of shame in his throat. "You are not–"

"No, Azriel. But why do you care?"

"Why do you think I care?"

"Yes, this is what I am asking, Azriel. Why would you care? When you didn't care enough to call a single time?"

"You'll never let me forget that, huh?" Azriel spits.

Eris closes the distance between them faster than Azriel can breathe and is in his face the next moment, forehead pressing against his. "Because it broke my fucking heart. It tore me apart and left my soul in shards on the ground. Because I loved you, and you just left me when everything fell apart."

Azriel's heart breaks anew. "Mum was moving away with me; I couldn't have stayed here alone."

"But you could have called."

"You broke up with me." Azriel flattens his palms against Eris' chest, feeling his warm skin despite the cold night air against his palms. But he doesn't push Eris away; he only rests his hands on his ex-boyfriend's chest. "I couldn't reach out again."

"Why?" Eris growls. "What hindered you? I thought you used to love me."

"I did love you," Azriel answers honestly. "That's why I couldn't reach out again. Beron hurt you so much because of me. He forced you to break up with me. He punched you bloody that night, Eris, I haven't forgotten about that. He broke your collarbone." Azriel swallows thickly, tears filling his eyes. "When I think back to this moment, I still hear your cries, I still see the blood–I couldn't let this happen again. You needed to get rid of me, and that for good."

"Azriel…" Eris breathes, and it seems as if he doesn't know how to continue.

Azriel's head starts to spin suddenly, having finally revealed the secret he kept to himself for the past ten years. He has finally given Eris the reason for his ignorance, and it feels like a heavy weight is lifted from his chest.

"You were too good to be good for me." Azriel's breath tingles Eris' skin, his gaze dropping to his lips. "You deserved so much better. You deserved someone else, someone better. You deserve someone better." Azriel looses a long breath that cascades down Eris' throat and his chest. "But that doesn't mean that I have stopped thinking about you."

"I haven't stopped thinking about you either," Eris admits, voice equally breathy, his hand sliding around Azriel's waist, bringing him closer. "Night and day, you have been on my mind. No matter what I tried, no matter who I was with, it was always you on my mind."

"It was always you, Eris." Azriel's Adam's apple bobs. They breathe the same air, their bodies almost flush against one another. And yet, it feels as if there are millennia between them. The time they have missed.

"Why haven't you told me before?"

"Because I was worried about you. I knew you would find a way to get to me and reach out, and if Beron found out–" Azriel inhales a long breath, his eyes close. "I never knew loving could hurt this good. And it drives me wild, 'cause when you look like that, I've never ever wanted to be so bad; oh god, you are still driving wild, Eris."

"You are driving me wild, Azriel," Eris huffs. "Showing up here like that, looking like that, and–fuck, I still want you the same way. Is that even possible after such a long time?"

Their lips meet in a hasty kiss, and their feet, even Azriel's injured one, move fully on their own accord until Azriel's back is pressed against the wall of the garden shed. Eris' hands vigorously roam his body, tongues tangling when their mouths open to one another.

Eris' hands and lips still know their way around, and it truly drives Azriel wild and insane. He feels like he is once again getting drunk on the taste of Eris, on the feel of his body against his own, and it seems like a fever dream that this is truly happening.

"You still want me, Eris?" Azriel breathes, their lips only parting for a slight second.

"Yes." Eris pushes against him, making him feel exactly how hard he already is, only from a few kisses. "I've never stopped wanting you. No one felt like you. Nothing felt like being with you. It was only ever you. And still is. I've wanted to hate you so much for leaving me alone, but I failed."

"I'm glad you did, because I did too. I failed at trying to forget you, at stopping to love you."

Eris' lips kiss a trail down the side of Azriel's throat, teeth grazing his skin softly and eliciting soft sighs from his former best friend. "You want me now?"

"I always want you, Eris," Azriel pants. "I have always wanted you."

Their bodies move fully on their own accord, guided and driven by sheer desire and need, the longing that has grown so much and so stark over the time they were apart. And after asking for Azriel's consent, there is no more holding back for Eris. For either of them.

Eris lowers himself to the ground, kneeling, and starts to toy with the button and the zipper on Azriel's jeans. They ignore the fact that they are outside, in the garden where people could see them. Their need for each other right here and now drowns out every little part of rationality.

After freeing Azriel's already half-hard length, Eris strokes him a few times, loving the soft, breathy gasps that leave Azriel in reaction to his doing. He smooths his hand down the hard length of his shaft, the skin yet soft beneath his palm, and then parts his lips.

"Ten fucking years," Eris rasps, tongue swirling to collect the bead of liquid already gathered at the tip before fully sucking him into his mouth.

He works him softly at first, and Azriel finds himself moaning at the feeling of his cock engulfed in the wet heat of Eris' mouth, his hand falling into his long red locks, tugging softly at first. Eris begins to suck harder and move his mouth a little faster; his hand grips the back of his mouth, holding on tightly.

Using his mouth and hand together, Eris hollows his cheeks and holds eye contact with Azriel, which is everything he needs to tip him over the edge. He bucks his hips into Eris' face until he comes with a shout, and Eris greedily swallows around him, drinking him down like he has been a starved male for centuries.

"Fuck yes!" Eris expresses when he sits back on his heels. He locks his hooded gaze on Azriel, his hand wiping over the drool and Azriel's come running down his cheek. "I've missed this."

"I missed you," Azriel answers and bends down, reaching for Eris to bring him in for a kiss, but cries out when his ankle twitches again.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"You regret what we did?"

"No," Eris answers tightly, carefully tending Azriel's ankle and applying the last bit of cream still on his fingertips. He wipes them clean on a cloth hanging from the table and picks up a bandage. Before he continues, he adjusts Azriel's leg on his lap. "No, I don't."

The moment Azriel cries out in pain, Eris immediately knows he needs to take care of Azriel's leg. He drags him inside the house to examine the injury despite Azriel's protests. Only a minute later, they ended up in the kitchen of Eris' home, now sitting at the dining table that is still familiar to Azriel, with only a small oil lamp lit on the kitchen counter.

"But why are you so calm then?" Azriel asks, hoping to catch his eyes, but Eris keeps looking at his ankle.

"I am just thinking…"

"About?"

"About us."

Us. It still sounds so beautiful, and when Eris says it, it gives Azriel hope.

"What did it feel like…going away, I mean." Eris lifts his eyes for a brief moment, hoping to catch his gaze.

Azriel sighs loudly. "It was awful. The first days, weeks, months. I only cried. I made new friends in New York that helped me out of my misery, but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you daily. I always thought about you and knew you were feeling the same." He wipes a hand over his eyes. "I knew that if I called you, I would only make it worse. For both of us. There was no way we could see each other again any time soon…"

Eris nods slowly. "I gave up at some point. I called a few times, but you never answered. Then, Beron forced me to delete your number and all the pictures I had with you. I could save a few on my computer, but the rest was all gone."

"All of our silly videos and photos?" Azriel asks and places his hand on Eris'. The man nods in answer.

"I'll try to find them on my old phone. I'm sure I still have it somewhere." A small smile appears on his lips and a little light returns to his eyes. "Also, those with your little brother." Azriel chuckles softly. "How is Lucien?"

"A menace," Eris breathes. "He was a sweet boy until puberty hit him with full force. He was all about girls and his appearance, but he still did well in school. He has been dating the same girl for a few years now. They got together when they were fourteen and are still going strong. She might be his soulmate. Elain, she's a sweet girl."

Azriel smiles at that. "I'm glad he's doing well."

"Yeah," Eris sighs. He deserves a good life. "He will be here for the funeral. He said it is a kind of closure."

Azriel nods slowly. "Did he move away?"

"No," Eris answers, "but he spends every other weekend with his biological dad."

Azriel remembers the little affair, the unspoken story of how Lucien and Eris only share a mother. Eris found out about it very early on and obviously told Azriel. Back then, they shared everything with each other.

"I'm glad to hear he has contact with him now." Azriel inhales deeply. At least someone has luck with their father, he thinks.

Eris smiles, at least a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "I've always hoped you would just show up here again someday. I even thought about going to New York, but I thought I would make a fool out of myself – suddenly showing up in the big city with hopes and dreams for us while it was possible that you were already married or at least had a partner."

A breathy chuckle leaves Azriel. "I was dating a few people in the ten years, but it never felt right. It never felt as right as it did with you."

"I know what you mean, Azriel. I know this feeling." Eris inhales a long, deep breath. "I've always thought it was because you will never forget your first love, and somehow they will always be important to you, but I now know that it is because there is no one in this world like you. I fell in love with you because you are my counterpart and everything I could and would ever hope for in a partner. I fell in love with everything about you, and no one would ever compare to you."

Azriel's fingers curl tighter around Eris, and he leans in, kissing his lips softly. "No one compares to you. I fell in love with your charm and wonderful character and soon realized that no one is like you. You are one in a million, and finding someone like you…I was the luckiest idiot on this planet until I ruined everything."

"Beron ruined it."

"I did, too." Azriel shakes his head. "I shouldn't have given up that easily. I should have fought for us. I should have fought Beron for you. I should have fought for our future."

Eris swallows thickly, a tear rolling down his cheek. "I broke up with you; maybe I shouldn't have given up that easily, either. Let's agree that we both made mistakes and didn't do everything right, but this was in the past. Let it be in the past and focus on the future."

"Can you forgive me so easily?" Azriel asks, his heart heavy, his stomach churning. He bites down on the inside of his cheeks.

Eris' shoulders lift with a deep breath. "I can, if you can forgive me for everything I've said."

"I can." Eris nips at Azriel's lips, then lets his forehead rest against Azriel's. "You will go back to New York tomorrow, right?"

"I'll ask my boss to allow me to stay a little longer," Azriel whispers. "He is one of my closest mates. He won't say no." He kisses the corner of Eris' lips. "But yes, I will have to return in a few days. I have my work there and…I can't give everything up there so easily."

"I know. I wouldn't want you to give up everything there." Eris' eyes close, and his heart sinks into his gut. He wants to leave with Azriel and move to the big city with him, but can he leave everything here behind so easily?

He has no job at the moment, as he has been taking care of his ill father in the past months and had to take leave and then quit. It wasn't easy, but working as a doctor before earned him a bit of money that he had on the side, which tided him over the months. So technically, he could start anew in the big city. But that would mean leaving everything here behind: his mother, his brothers.

"My apartment in New York is definitely made for two people, so…" A hopeful smile appears on Azriel's lips.

Eris smiles in return; this time, it reaches his eyes, where hope and anticipation spark to life.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Are you ready?" Azriel looks at him, holding eye contact, although Eris seems to find reciprocating difficult.

Beron has never been a good father, but the funeral day isn't easy. Beron was still his father, and from time to time, they had good moments, moments where they could laugh and smile together. But those days were sparse.

He inhales a deep breath and exhales loudly. "I am."

Everyone is already inside; he and Azriel are the only people still left outside. The funeral will only begin when he enters, so he allows himself this time to breathe and collect himself, knowing he is not missing anything inside.

"I really am." He nods slowly. "You will sit with me?" Eris swallows thickly. "Stay with me?"

"Always," Azriel answers. I will never, ever leave you again." He pulls down the door handle, and they enter together. They stroll down the aisle leading to the altar together, their steps synchronised until they reach their bench, where Eris' mother and two of his brothers are already sitting.

Azriel's hand naturally slides into Eris when he sits down beside him. The pastor steps onto the dais, and piano music starts to sound from the back of the chapel.

"I'm here for you, Eris," Azriel whispers, not turning to look at Eris but staring straight ahead at the coffin. "Forever."

"Forever?"

"Forever. Move to New York with me."

Eris doesn't give him a verbal answer, only squeezes his hand in response, yet a slight smile that feels so out of place for a funeral appears on his lips. Always sounds just too good. Especially when it means forever with Azriel.

general Azris tag list (please let me know if you want to be added/removed): @azrielsbabyg @lady-riel @moonlightazriel @aayo-whatt @brekkershadowsinger @ladyelain @banasheefan56 @a-frog-with-a-laptop @ofduskanddreams @acourtofladydeath @secret-third-thing @born-to-riot @chunkypossum @talibunny30 @berryzxx

thank you so much for beta reading @pippsmcgee and @moonlightazriel 💛

#azrisweek2024 #azrisweek #azris #azriel x eris #azris au

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thisblogisaboutabook · 11 months ago

Text

Cowboy Like Me - Part 5

Azriel x Reader

Reader is introduced to the rest of the Inner Circle, Elain included. Azriel feels awkward. Nyx is adorable. Amren does what Amren does best and throws shade.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

Warnings: suggestive language, alcohol

The “River House” as it was so lovingly referred to was stunning and not a house in the slightest. It was an estate, and a massive one at that. I was able to hide my awe at the size of it upon arriving to the grounds but any mask of indifference disappeared as I stepped inside.

The air inside welcomed me with the aromas of seasoned foods and warm bread. Fresh flowers and art decorated the entry hall of the manor - loving, thoughtful intricacies decorated the attached living area along with cozy furniture and amenities. Somehow the High Lord and High Lady managed to turn this grand estate into a home. The sounds of laughter from another room were enough to tell me that this was a home of love and not the cold, indifferent atmosphere of many in the upper echelon of Prythian.

Before I could explore, Mor grabbed my arm and whisked me up the grand staircase. “Come on! Let’s indulge in the riches of our excursion.” Her full lips spread into a warm smile.

The room - her room - was exactly what I’d picture for the female. It was somehow luxurious if a bit sultry, while warm and welcoming, much like she was. She took my hand, leading me to a large oak vanity. With a flick of her wrist, the pocket realm revealed our spoils. Rummaging through them, Mor pulled out cosmetics from one of the boutiques we’d stopped in. I went to reach for the items but Mor swatted my hand away. “I know you’re capable of doing your own makeup but I believe I’ve got many years of experience on you. Pleaseeee, may I do your makeup? Please, please, please?”

She made a show of the pleading forming a pout on her lips, batting thick eyelashes as if she were a child trying to win over their parents.

I giggled. “Fiiiiine. Do your worst, Morrigan.”

She clapped, letting out a squeal. “Only my best for you, dear.”

An hour later my face was made up - lips painted a sultry red, kohl lightly lining my eyes, my eyelashes so thick that I likely could blink and blow half the estate away. One half of my hair fell over my shoulder in loose waves while the other was pinned back, accentuating my high cheek bones and pointed ears. A gorgeous blue dress that wasn’t too formal for dinner but was definitely a bit…. extra, fit me like an extra layer of skin. Fortunately, if I was overdressed, Mor would be too as she wore the same, only in red.

Gazing in the mirror I had to admit. I did look pretty damned beautiful. The dress hugged my curves perfectly, accentuating my feminine figure.

“Your boobs look AMAZING.” Mor shamelessly exclaimed as she smoothed out the front of her dress before looking down to admire her own cleavage.

“Says you” I smirked. “You look divine.”

“We are quite the double-threat.” She laughed. “Come on, let’s introduce you to the rest of the family and eat. I’m STARVING.”

“It hasn’t been that long since we ate!” I laughed.

“What’s that have to do with anything? Besides, the sooner we eat, the sooner we can break into the expensive wines.”

With that, she extended her arm and led me downstairs.

———————————-

Mor led me into a seating area where Nesta was sitting with a female who looked like a softer version of her. Not the High Lady, so this must be the third Archeron sister, Elain.

Mor’s demeanor shifted slightly as we entered the room, walking toward Nesta who looked up from her book to greet me “Hello, Y/N.”

I smiled. “Hello Nesta, I missed having our lesson together today. I’m rather eager to brush up on my ballroom dancing skills soon.”

The silver-eyed female smirked with a hint of amusement that only a trained eye could spot “It’s not you who needs the extra work, it’s the toe-stepper.”

I huffed a small laugh. Her and Mor were so different yet both felt like they could have been good friends in another life, had I been born into this circle.

I turned to the doe-eyed female next to her about to introduce myself when Azriel entered the room gaze fixed on Nesta. “It was one time! You two are never going to let that go, are you?”

Elain tensed as his gaze shifted to her from Nesta, he nodded his head in greeting before turning toward me.

When his eyes met mine, he froze, that intense hazel gaze sweeping from my head to my toes and back up again, twice. I could have sworn his gaze fixed on my chest for a moment before he met my eyes again. “You look…” he paused, then glanced slightly to the side, seemingly remembering who was in the room. “Nice.”

Mor scoffed. “Nice? I know you’re not a male of many words, Az, but nice? I’d go with ethereal, like a goddess, a deity.” She rolled her eyes, scoffing once Mor. “Nice.”

Azriel said nothing as Mor again took my arm, “Come on, Y/N, let’s go speak with people who will appreciate your naturally gorgeous features and my incredible skills in enhancing them.”

A part of me begged to feel disappointment in Azriel’s choice of words but, words meant so little when his eyes said so much. Perhaps he still had a relationship with Elain? Perhaps they didn’t have one but he didn’t want to hurt her? Perhaps he was completely indifferent and… ugh. Again, why does it matter? He’s a colleague and nothing more. He owes me nothing.

Mor and I entered the dining room to find Rhysand, “Rhys” as he told me to call him and the High Lady. “High Lady” I curtsied, “it’s a pleasure to meet you, officially.”

“Hello Y/N,” a soft smile graced her face, her gray-blue eyes fixed softly on me. “It’s nice to have you here. I do remember briefly seeing you during the encounter in the Summer Court but it’s nice to truly meet you.”

“Thank you, High Lady.”

A booming laugh echoed through the room as a broad, tall Illyrian male entered the space, taking up most of the large entryway. Cassian, I recalled. The general of the Night Court’s armies, the fearsome Lord of Bloodshed.

“High Lady? Since when does family dinner have such formality?”

He turned toward me with a wicked grin. “Hi, I’m Cassian. Just Cassian. And you must be my new favorite person - the one who hit Az with that baguette.”

I blushed, hiding a laugh. “It’s nice to meet you, Just Cassian. I’m Y/N.”

Cassian’s eyes lit up at his humor being met by my own cheesy attempt at a joke. “Az didn’t tell me you were so….” His cheeks puffed as he blew out air “So…” with both palms extended, he gestured to me in an up and downward motion. Clearly my figure was not lost on him. Under typical circumstances, this would have been awkward but I could sense that this was, well, just Cassian.

“Oh good gods.” Mor muttered. “You males are truly terrible at complimenting an attractive female.”

Rhys mocked offense, striding up to me only halting a step away. “Y/N, darling. You look exquisite.” then proceeded to take my hand and press a kiss to the back of it.

Feyre’s eyes lit up at the gesture, clearly adept at enduring her husband’s antics. “You really do look stunning, Y/N. And, as I would have told you before Cassian butt into our conversation, please just call me Feyre.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet all of you. Truly.”

At that moment, a shadow-wraith with High Fae features entered the room holding a babbling and insanely adorable winged toddler. “Oh, the wraith said. I didn’t realize there was… company” she eyed me for a moment before returning her gaze toward Feyre, who only smiled and took the babe from her arms. “It’s okay Nuala, this is Y/N, she’s here for family dinner.”

Nuala’s eyebrows rose. “Oh?” Walking toward me in easy-graceful strides and a nod of her head. “It’s nice to meet you.” Her tone and expression kind with a hint of curiosity thrown in.

The lovely wraith skittered out of the room as a very petite fae entered the room with one hell of a commanding presence. Oh, I knew exactly who this was. The legendary “Amren”. Rhysand’s second in command. Gods, she was practically legendary - tales of her both horrifying and awe-inspiring. I bowed in reverence as she assessed me, sniffing the air. “Interesting.” She said flatly, more to herself than anyone else.

“That’s Amren.” Mor noted. “Don’t mind her. She’s likely hangry and in need of a nap.”

“Careful, girl.” Amren chided. “You aren’t far off from the truth. Do not test me.” Her lips curled into a slightly terrifying smirk.

Oh, this was going to be fun.

An awkward silence momentarily filled the room before the toddler in Feyre’s arms noticed my presence, patting his mother’s shoulder before pointing a chubby finger at Mor and me. “Mama, mama! Look! Pretty!”

“Finally!” Mor praised. “A male that knows how to give a compliment. Thank you, Nyxie baby.”

—————————————

Dinner was spread out on the table before us leaving my mouth practically watering. Mor seated herself on my right, Feyre on my left at the head of the table with Nyx in a high chair beside her, and Rhys next to him. Azriel sat across from me avoiding eye contact. Though, I felt his burning gaze on me any time I turned to Mor or Feyre to speak. A small, traitorous part of me heated low in my belly knowing that he couldn’t resist sneaking glances in my direction.

Elain seated herself beside him in an awkward manner as it was the only remaining chair. Her body tense and avoiding any accidental brushes of their arms. I caught her looking at me a few times too, something like longing and contempt warring within her overall kind features. My gut churned at the tension, though nobody seemed to sense it.

A pang filled my chest at the sight of the High Lady at the head of the table and her mate, the High Lord next to her and their son, instead of the opposite end of the table. They were good parents, you could see the love they poured into Nyx overflowing out of him. My parents loved me that way too.

Chatter filled the table, Cassian’s boisterous laugh and risqué comments earning elbow nudges from Nesta to which he’d look at her with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes. The fierce female warming beneath his stare.

I may not be a total romantic but my mind wandered. What would it be like to be loved like that? The way Rhys looked at Feyre and her at him, and the way Cassian and Nesta looked at each other. Mates. Something only the lucky few ever experienced.

“You’re being quiet, girl.” Amren accused. “Listening for information to sell to the highest bidder?”

“Amren.” Azriel warned.

“What?” The petite female added. “This is perfectly normal? For you to invite a stranger, one who is a known spy join us as if we’ve known and trusted her for centuries? Since when do you go to such great measures in seeking evening companionship.”

My jaw dropped at the same time Elain gasped at the statement.

“Enough, Amren.” Rhysand spoke. “She is my guest. I am the one who invited her.”

“A foolish decision.”

Darkness rolled off of Rhys, dimming the room. Feyre diverted Nyx’s attention to her with gentle coos.

I stood to excuse myself from the table, Azriel quickly standing to follow, but Rhys held a hand toward him. “Excuse us, Y/N. I believe we need to have a family discussion on manners. Azriel, stay seated. Elain, perhaps you could show Y/N the garden.”

Mor started “That’s not necessary, I can -“

“You will stay here too, Mor.” Rhys demanded.

Elain slowly, begrudgingly stood up from the table, walking past me with a whispered “follow me.”

——————————————-

Tags: @fxckmiup @saltedcoffeescotch @minnieoo

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lunaatthezoo · 3 days ago

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What None Saw: Chapter 6 (Two Dreams)

Happy Solstice, my loves 🥰❄️🪻🌙 What better way to celebrate this iconic day for Elriel than with a spicy 🔥🥵 new chapter!

Summary: Elain and Azriel each have illuminating dreams in the weeks between Rita's and Winter Solstice (ACOSF). Preview below.

CW: very brief bondage, a TINY bit of blood, NSFW.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/61087384/chapters/157266556

Elain walked through her garden under the dim dawn light. The sun was breaking over the horizon, swaths of purple and pink illuminating the vast sky. The moon was still full and shining overhead. Spiderwebs glowed like silver threads and dewdrops sparkled like a thousand tiny stars come down.

She passed trellises of ivy and crawling jasmine, entwined together across the cobblestones. She passed great roses towering over her head, their thorns the size of her hands.

She came to a stop in a stone alcove, tendrils of wildflowers crawling over the low walls, and there he was.

Azriel leaned against a stone pillar, shadows swirling around him, limning him in semi-darkness. A crown of red roses sat atop his raven curls. He wore a loose black silk shirt and pants, his hands in his pockets.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said to her, his voice like a song of death. Beckoning, commanding, soothing.

“How did you know I would be here?” Elain asked him, looking around only to realize she stood before him in a wine-colored gown made entirely of rose petals, her feet bare.

She reached up and felt a crown of roses resting atop her own unbound curls.

“I always know where to find you, angel,” he answered. He slid his hands from his pockets and began prowling towards her.

“Angel?” She asked him, her cheeks heating.

“Yes,” he answered. “You are an angel. A goddess. A divine being of light and hope and beauty and everything that is good in this world.”

Elain’s breath caught as Azriel came to stand just before her. He reached out a hand and gripped her chin between his fingers, lifting her face.

“You are my angel.” He drifted his thumb over her bottom lip and pushed down on it with arresting demand, drawing a shudder of desire from Elain.

She steeled her courage to ask what she wanted to know. “What do you want, Azriel? What do you want from me?”

#elriel #azriel shadowsinger #elain archeron #elriel fanfic #elriel fic #new chapter #fanfic update #smutty elriel #smutty fanfic #ao3 elriel #ao3 acotar #fic update

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redheadspark · 2 years ago

Note

Hello love! Could I request an Azriel fic with #1? I feel like it would be really wholesome! 🌹💜

A/N - AAHHHH! This is adorable! Simply adorable! Thank you for requesting this, friend!

Crown

Summary - It's the simple things in life that bring out Azriel's joy

Warnings - Just some cute fluff :D

"This is quite the collection, High Lady,"

"I know, I hate it! Oh, please don't tell Rhsyand anything, it'll break his heart!"

"Your secret is safe with me,"

Feyre giggled as you two strolled through her smaller chamber that housed all of the crowns, tiaras, and other jewelry that was given to her by her husband, High Lord Rhsyand. She was searching some of the jewelry she wished to keep and other pices that she could donate, and the rest will be in the Night Court Archives that were nestled deep under The House of Wind. Rhysand gave her permission to choose which ones she wanted to keep for her own use and the rest will be sorted, which was rather nice on his end some most of the pieces were handed down to him by his family. Feyre was no lover of jewelry, and even with the smallest earrings or necklace, she would rather decline wearing them. However, she was strickign when wearing her crowns or tiaras when meetings were held or visiting anoter Court.

Yet she was showing you this room for another reason.

"So, which one do you like?" She asked as you were a bit conflicted. You saw massive crowns with gems the size of your palm embedded on the headpiece, tiaras small and dainty with precious little rocks that looked more like raindrops or morning dew. Feyre could see the hesitance on your face, giving yoru arm a pat as she manuvered the pair of you to another section of her collection.

As part of her wedding gift to you and your fiance Azriel, Feyre offered you to wear one of her crowns at the wedding ceremony. You two were close friends, ever since she came into Velaris and she was introduced to the Inner Circle. You loved her spirit and stubbornness, not being a cookie-cutter mate to Rhsyand. You instantly loved her art and painting, taking a few pointers from her after the Battles against Hybren and when there was peace in Velaris again. You two grew close, and she was the first friend you told about your engagement to the Spymaster himself. Feyre and Rhysand wished to contribute to the wedding planning as much as they could, and although you and Azriel made them swear to keep the ceremony and reception very small and intimate, they still planned everything out for you two.

All the way down to the attire, in which you were going to wear the High Lady's jewels.

"Azriel told me you two were going to be married in Elaine's garden at the Townhouse, right?" She asked, you nodding your head as she then reached out into a small pocket in the wall, taking out a very delicate and intricately designed crown. The base looked like vines wrapped around one another making the circle, leaves made of pure gold, and some yellow gems that looked molded into gold. Throughout the rest of the piece, there were small emeralds and yellow diamonds, making the crown look more like a halo of enchanted leaves.

You gasped, Feyre's face beaming as she held it in her delicate yet deadly fingers.

"I think we found the right one," She commented, reaching up to place in your hair. It wasn't heavy, nor was it light. The weight almost threw you off for a moment, but Feyre moved some of your hair from your eyes and along your jawline to see how the crown would look.

She moved you over to a mirror that was propped on a cabinet, you saw your reflection in the mirror and the shock ever leaving your face. You felt like a princess with a crown on your head, something you never thought you would feel. Coming from humble beginnings and needing to survive on your own to get your own food, you always had to endure and adapt to what life threw at you.

Yet ever since Azriel came into your life, blessings were coming in left and right. He made sure you were loved, that he supported you in all the choices you made, and he always made sure you never had to go hungry again.

You were seeing the reflection of your inner soul wearing that crown: a Princess about to marry her Prince.

"Perfect, simply perfect," Feyre said from behind you. You nodded with evident tears in your eyes.

It was perfect. Beyond perfect

"Almost done back there?"

"Mmmm nope. Are we being impatient?"

"Never!"

Azriel chuckled behind you as you were facing the view of Velaris in front of you, sitting cross-legged on the blanket that you brought for your picnic as you were working on the cross stitch that you also brought along. The small buzzing of bumble bees to your left, the soft wildflowers along the right side, and the howling winds that were swooping down from the mountains were in front of you.

The perfect day for an outing.

Being married to the Spymaster of Nigt Court was nothing short but adventurous. You knew going into the marriage that Azriel would have to make some compromises. If he had to go give aid to Rhysand or the safety of Velaris was at risk, if he had to go in the middle of the night to spy on another Court, it was always up in the air with your husband. Yet you never once grumbled about it, because you knew he would always come back into your waiting arms. It was his promise to you on your wedding day and in his vows that he swore he worked on for months on end: Azriel promised to never have you be alone in your bed or in your relationship with him.

He has fulfilled that promise.

It's been a good 5 years since you two were married, only the Inner Circle and a handful of priestesses in attendance. He wanted it that way since Azriel thought a massive wedding and mating ceremony would be far too much for you two. Yet you had the best night of your life with him as your husband and surrounded by people who loved and supported the pair of you. After your honeymoon, you both found a small little house that was near the outskirts of town, near the farmlands and the forests that seemed to be more of a fixer-upper. Yet you found it a challenge, rolling your sleeves up and getting right to work with a shocked husband right behind you.

Within a month, the house was liveable, and within a year's time, it was perfect.

"Alright, I think it is finished!"

You placed your cross stitch down and turned around, seeing your husband and your 8-month-old daughter named Eve in his lap grinning at your as Azriel was holding a flower crown in his hands.

"A crown fit for a queen," he said lightly, Eve babbling in his lap as she tried to reach up to take the crown with her chubby fingers. Both you and Azriel chuckled while he placed the flower crown on your head. Massive twigs were molded into a circle, with daisies and wildflowers laced around along with a few poppies that were nearby. Once the crown was placed in your hair, Eve shrieked at the sight of her mother wearing flowers and Azriel beamed.

"Just as gorgeous as the day I married you," He hummed, leaning over to kiss you softly on the lips.

There were trials and struggles coming your way with Azriel, but you two always faced them together. Small spats and fights were had late in the night about his well-being and safety, yet they always ended with you two holding each other in bed and whispering apologies. Stress from work and from working with the High Lord and High Lady would try and defy the pair of you, yet neither of you would let it.

And lastly, a small health scare you had left you with more questions than answers. The smallest possibility that you couldn't bear children broke your heart for some months. Azriel held you close as you cried into his chest after Madja told you the news, having you feel more broken than ever.

"You mean more to me than anything. If being parents is not our path, then I'll live with that. I can't live in this world without you or your joy, and if it's just the pair of us in this life, I'll take it," Azriel reminded you as a vow when you two were wrapped in each other's arms in bed. You knew it was true, and although it was a saddened feeling that you may not have a child, you would rather have Azriel.

However, your daughter Eve came into your lives a year later. Her father's wings and eyes, your hair and freckles, she was perfect. Seeing her swaddled and held in her father's arms, watching his eyes fill with tears as he kissed her dark mop of hair hours after she was born, it was all worth it.

"My little Eve Star," he cooed at her.

Eve cried out in Azriel's lap, not getting attention from either parent. You pulled away from Azriel, laughing as you scooped her into your arms and kissed her cheeks.

"Did you help your father make my crown, my little Eve Star?" You said to her playfully, tickling her sides and hearing her giggle in delight.

"Of course she did, she had her mother's creativity you know," Azriel joked.

Sometimes you thought back to the crown Feyre lent you for your wedding, which later was given to you as a Winter Solstice and Wedding Anniversary gift, and you thought of it as a blessing. But the true blessing was the flower crown on your head, made by the one being that brought you more joy than anything.

You would take flowers over gems any day.

The End.

Spring Prompt Session

#azriel shadowsinger #azriel x oc #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x female reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel acotar #azriel x female!reader #acotar fluff #acomaf fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #acotar fandom #a court of mist and fury #a court of silver flames #a court of thorns and roses #a court of frost and starlight #a court of wings and ruin

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uukipi · 8 months ago

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I had someone on Reddit absolutely lose their mind over the fact that I’m drawing “hot fae dudes as chibis” and not as sexy hot men as the way god intended

I’ve never seen anyone lose their mind over chibis but I was also expecting it tbh. It’s the main reason I didn’t even try to draw fanart of them until like a good few years later. The fandom has so much realistic/semi realistic artists so I felt I’d b out of place (I don’t feel that now bc I guys keep gassing me up 💖)

But holy shit was this chicks rant just unhinged

My response before I knew she was deadass and was about to go sicko mode on me

She blocked me after she made the comment

No idea what the point of going off over CHIBIS is skbsnsnw

Posting to Reddit is worse than Tumblr I s2g ily u guys thank u for not being this brand of insane and continuing to like my pocket sized dudes 🥹

#acotar #acotar Reddit #pocket sized azriel #pocket sized lucien #i haven’t had someone lose it this hard at me in a SECONDD L FAOOO #PURE INSANITY #love my Tumblr girlies #we besties 4 lyferzzz

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rosanna-writer · 9 months ago

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a simple name and everything has changed (3/?)

Summary: we said hello and your eyes look like coming home, Rhys POV chapters Or: Rhys's slow realization that he's mated to Prythian's most chaotic human (and how much he loves her for it) Warnings: implied/referenced sexual assault, discussion of food insecurity and disordered eating Word Count: ~3.5k

This is Rhys's POV of ch. 19 - your mom's ring in your pocket, which is the initial discussion of the ring and the Weaver's cottage.

You can find it Here on AO3 or below the readmore.

It was a small miracle that I managed to read Azriel's entire report with Feyre standing so close to my wings. More than anything, I wanted her hands on them again. But for now, I was content with just the easy, comfortable way she rested her free hand on my shoulder. A small thing, perhaps, but Under the Mountain, it had been beyond my wildest dreams.

She was also peppering me with questions, and after she'd been deceived by Tamlin, it was clearly important to her that I answered all of them completely. So I did. The lack of information Azriel had been able to dig up worried me, and I didn't hide that from her, either.

Amren arrived shortly after that, and the size of her stack of books seemed…promising. Azriel might have run into dead ends, but I hoped he was only one at least.

"Research. As requested before you leave for Illyria, Rhysand," she said, dropping everything on the table.

Unsurprisingly, Feyre responded quicker than I did. "Research on what?"

"On you, girl. And whatever power has been thrumming in your veins since you were Made."

Feyre knocked back the last of her tea as if it were a shot of alcohol. If she were wishing she'd had something stronger before dealing with Amren first thing in the morning, I didn't blame her in the slightest.

"And I assume you found something, or we wouldn't be having this conversation," I said.

"I have theories, but books aren't enough to prove anything—we'll have to run tests."

I let my hand drift to Feyre's lower back. The thought of running tests on my mate rankled me, and I forced myself not to snarl, lest my Second bit my head off in retaliation.

"We don't have time for dramatics today. Please explain."

"Feyre has been claimed by the Night Court, and she's mated to its High Lord. It stands to reason that she's a creature of Night. But at the same time, her Making was a boon from Spring Court magic after taking Tamlin's place in the Great Rite. She may be…something else entirely."

The same thing had crossed my mind before, on nights I tried to focus on the sound of Feyre's slow, steady breathing across the hall instead of my own spiraling thoughts. I'd found my mate in the very court that had taken my family from me, and that didn't feel like a coincidence.

The violence should have ended the moment Tamlin and I became High Lords. But now, my newest recurring nightmare was of a third head in a box, sent down river by the Spring Court just like my mother's and sister's.

"If Tamlin thinks I stole power from him and swore fealty to Rhys on Calanmai…" Feyre said, and at the sound of her voicing my fears aloud, I couldn't hold back a growl.

Amren nodded, a quiet signal that she understood that the growl wasn't aimed at her. "Agreed, and because treasure troves with objects from both Spring and Night are few and far between, it's time to stop stalling. You have a promise to keep."

Perhaps I should have growled at her anyway—I needed at least another century before I could look Feyre in the eye and tell her about the ring waiting for her in the Weaver's cottage. She'd risked her life to free me, and I was certain that if I came anywhere close to insinuating she still had something to prove, she'd have my balls. And rightfully so.

Just the thought of telling her was enough to loosen my grip on my power, and pathetically, the darkness drifted towards Feyre, clinging to her arm as if it were afraid she'd leave.

"Find another method," I ground out from between clenched teeth.

"Feyre has to go claim it anyway."

"She's already proven more than enough."

"Spare me, Rhysand. We all know what you were thinking when you put that bargain tattoo on her finger."

Amren was right, though. The look she was giving me was familiar—I'd gotten used to it when I was a boy still mastering my powers and she was tired of me giving anything less than my best during a lesson.

"Tell me what you're talking about this before this comes to blows." Feyre shrugged my hand off her back, and I slid it into my pocket before I made a bigger fool of myself and reached for her again.

It truly wasn't fair that Feyre looked that beautiful when she was angry.

Amren, of course, wasn't going to deign to provide an explanation. It wasn't her business anyway. I took a breath and steeled myself, fully expecting the full truth would fan the flames of Feyre's temper.

"There's a ring," I said. "An heirloom of my family, passed down from female to female. My sister wasn't born yet, so my mother gave it to me when I was a boy. A reminder that she was always with me, even during the worst of my training, and I safeguarded it with preserving spells, the way our kind do for anything valuable. When I reached my majority, she took the ring away and gave it to an ancient, wicked creature called the Weaver, who added it to the collection of treasures she amassed over millennia."

It wasn't everything, and Feyre was smart enough to figure that out on her own. "Why would your mother give it away?"

Gods, I could kill Amren for this. She pretended to be above it all, but I knew during her next meeting with Mor, she'd be sharing every last detail of me squirming.

"Another test. If I were to marry or mate, then the female would either have to be smart or strong enough to get the ring back. And if she wasn’t either of those things, then she wouldn’t survive the marriage. I promised my mother that any potential bride or mate would have to pass, but I think if she were still here…she'd agree that you've already done more than enough."

I waited for more of Feyre's anger, but she just blinked, clearly bewildered. "A wedding ring?" she said, as if it weren't patently obvious.

"Yes, but you're under no obligation to—"

When she spoke again, the uncertainty making her voice waver damn near broke my heart. "You— You haven't…sent someone after it before me, have you?"

As if anyone would have been stupid enough to want to marry me. I couldn't imagine what could have put the idea in her head.

But then again, I'd been the one who'd made her feel unwanted enough to run off to the House of Wind as soon as we'd returned to the Night Court.

"Cauldron, no," I said, scrambling for a way to remind her—in front of Amren, of all people—that there had never been anyone else for me and never would be.

"And this isn't— You're not…proposing?"

Cauldron boil and fucking fry me. Now was hardly the time to be having this discussion—I had no idea what Feyre's views on marriage were or if the mating bond changed them. She'd always be my mate first and foremost, but…I couldn't deny the appeal of calling her my wife too, and she might be more comfortable with a more human way to refer to me.

But it was just as likely she was feeling rushed and didn't want any of that at all.

A pounding at the door heralded the arrival of the rest of my Inner Circle, and I made a silent prayer of thanks to the Mother as we filed into the sitting room. I hadn't been able to think of anything to say, and they'd saved me from continuing to gape at Feyre like a fish.

Feyre went quiet as the conversation turned to dealing with the Illyrians who'd supported Amarantha. From Cassian's report, it seemed that there were more than I'd expected, but news of my return had sent them scurrying into the forest to hide. We'd have to flush them out.

I didn't relish the thought of several days in the Steppes, away from Feyre. But I knew the Illyrians, and I'd lose more respect by staying in Velaris and sending someone else to do my dirty work. Then again, it might be for the best—I wasn't sure I wanted Feyre to witness me kill again, no matter how much they deserved it.

Eventually, there was a lull in the conversation, and Feyre filled it. "If we need to make a statement to keep control of Illyria, then we could give them to the Weaver and kill two birds with stone."

If Feyre wasn't exactly the sort of person who might have once felled two birds with a single stone, I would have thought she was joking. But I knew better. Feyre didn't like waste, whether that was food scraps or ammunition or a taking a life; she was merely efficient and the farthest thing from squeamish.

Strong enough to survive the marriage indeed.

"Are you suggesting that we allow a death-god to eat a few rogue Illyrians in exchange for the return of your wedding ring?" I said, smiling.

Feyre didn't smile back—her face was set in that characteristic determined grimace of hers. "Amarantha refused to free her human slaves. I'm the Night Court's resident human. What better way to punish them for supporting her than turning them over to me?"

She had a point, and the rest of the Inner Circle seemed to think so, which was a relief. If Feyre were to accompany us to Illyria, I wanted to avoid objections from Cassian and Azriel.

"If we're cracking a few wing bones, Feyre might as well get a turn," Cassian said.

"It's Illyria, not Velaris, so word will get out, which we can spin in our favor. Distaste for slavery instead of petty revenge against those who supported the bitch who made Rhys her—" Mor said, then stopped.

Whore. That had been what she'd about to say. I should have been used to it after fifty years, and it wasn't as if Mor was flinging it at me as an insult. My cheeks burned with shame anyway.

"The bitch who hurt him," Mor amended, and somehow, it made me feel worse. I hated the thought of any member of my family feeling the need to tiptoe around me.

"I'll never be offended by you telling the truth. Even about that," I said. Mor took my hand and squeezed it.

"No one reasonable would fault you for slaughtering your rapist's supporters. But for the unreasonable ones…it's also true that involving Feyre could help dispel the rumors that Prythian's savior is a pawn you intend to discard."

I understood—for the most part, the other courts were more concerned with rebuilding the damage that Amarantha had caused, and they likely would be for decades. But as Mor had worked to put treaties and agreements back in place, there had been more than a few polite—if very pointed—inquiries regarding the wellbeing of Feyre Cursebreaker. For now, Mor's letters back had contained equally pointed reminders that the Cursebreaker had been through an ordeal and didn't deserve to be bothered. We couldn't keep that up forever, though.

"Assuming the Weaver is willing to bargain, it's not a bad plan," Azriel said. From him, that was a ringing endorsement.

"Hell of an assumption, though," Cassian added.

Feyre was looking at me expectantly, clearly waiting for me to weigh in. I was suddenly uncomfortably aware that I had the authority to order her to either come to Illyria or stay back in Velaris, regardless of what her wishes were. I considered Feyre my equal in everything, but there were ancient laws and magic at play. Emissary or Lady of the Night Court…either way, her power was limited.

If nothing else, I wanted her to know that I wouldn't command her to face any danger. I had the bravest mate in Prythian, but Feyre deserved a chance to rest instead of shouldering the weight of the world. "All of it is your choice, Feyre. If you don't want to risk leaving Velaris, no one will force you," I said.

"I'm not shying away from any of it. I'll go," she said without hesitation.

Nothing stopped Feyre. I dropped my shields just enough to let her feel my swell of pride at her willingness to face this head on, even after everything she'd been through.

Cassian mussed her hair, and a memory came to me, unbidden—he used to do the same thing to Azriel, back before the War, when Az was still sporting those hideous bangs that swooped low across his forehead. And they way Feyre was trying and failing to scowl at Cassian…my heart squeezed. My own sister had always given me that look when I'd gotten on her nerves to break up the monotony of formal court events.

"Send your mate and your dogs out to the yard if they insist on playing, Rhysand. The adults still have matters to discuss," Amren said.

"Amren, if you wanted to play—" Cassian said, taunting her the way he always did when she called him my dog.

And as if on cue, Mor groaned. "Can we not? We're supposed to be working."

Under the Mountain, I'd resigned myself to never hearing them bicker like this again. After a decade, I'd forgotten their voices, their faces. That's when I'd stopped hoping.

Hearing it again while I shared the sofa with Feyre…it felt like a gift. She caught my eye as Cassian smoothed her hair back into place, and I smiled, just grateful for all of them.

But I could hardly afford to get maudlin with a court to run and Prythian in disarray, so I forced myself to focus on the task at hand.

The meeting was a long one; I trusted Mor and Amren to keep everything running smoothly in my absence, but there was so much more up in the air than usual. Unfortunately, they'd likely be at it for a while—according to Cassian's reporting, the rogue war-bands had scattered, and it would take time to track down each group that had splintered.

There was work to be done, so none of us lingered longer than necessary. We were up before the sun the next morning.

As I was washing my face, I felt a pang of anxiety from Feyre's side of the bond. A few disjointed images and feelings crossed the bond—a tree covered in snow, the twang of a bowstring, hunger pangs. It vanished as quickly as it came.

Something had stirred an old memory for her, I supposed. But it seemed she'd mastered it, so I refrained from giving her a fright by winnowing into her room while she was still dressing.

Instead, I met her downstairs and immediately lifted her into my arms to fly. Feyre felt like she'd gained a bit of weight, which was good. The tangible evidence she'd been eating right and gaining muscle from training soothed some of my worries.

I started to ask if she was alright, but the second her feet were off the floor, she relaxed and buried her face in my shoulder. I couldn't help but smile. Since returning home, I'd quickly learned that she wasn't a morning person, and there was something adorably Feyre about the way she'd clearly decided it was too early to talk—but not too early to cling to me.

"Good morning to you, too," I said.

"We have somewhere to be," she said, somehow managing to sound both half-asleep and accusatory.

I kissed her temple, then winnowed us into the sky above Windhaven. The immediate cold rush of air against my face felt like freedom. Feyre—now fully awake—cried out and held on tight as I spread my wings.

My shoulders immediately barked in protest, even though all I'd done was slow the descent. Feyre wasn't particularly heavy, but I still wasn't strong enough to fly upward while carrying her—the latest goal the healer had set for me was getting above the wards around the House of Wind to winnow down to the street with Feyre in my arms.

But now we were gliding to the ground smoothly, and that was progress. Incremental, but still progress, even if my back strained with each occasional flap of my wings.

Fearless as ever, Feyre lifted her head from my shoulder to look straight down at the camp below us, despite the altitude still being enough to turn the stomach of anyone wingless. I expected more questions, but she was silent as she took in the view.

From the air at least, it didn't appear that Windhaven had changed much. Amarantha had mostly considered Illyria beneath her notice, and while her beasts had been free to roam into Steppes, they'd avoided it. Too few resources, too many warriors with killing magic.

Thanks to Cassian's reports, I knew Illyria was more or less intact, but it was still a relief to see it for myself. In those last seconds before Amarantha had taken my power, I'd chosen to protect Velaris, throwing the rest of my court to the wolves in the process. It was sound strategy—if anyone could defend themselves, it was the Illyrians, and there wasn't much worth saving in the Hewn City—but not being able to protect everything had left me with a heavy sense of guilt that had weighed on me for fifty years.

During the war, my father had treated my mother's people as cannon fodder. Perhaps I wasn't any better, despite striving to be.

It took all of my concentration to keep from stumbling as we landed. Centuries of muscle memory were the only reason I didn't break an ankle and drop Feyre in the process. But it looked effortless, and that was most important.

I set Feyre down, and—as usual—she slipped into a role naturally, standing up straight and maintaining eye contact, a clear signal she wasn't afraid. That she wasn't lesser.

Devlon approached, flanked by the same warriors as always, and for a moment, I could almost believe no time had passed since I'd last been here. "Your dog," he barked with a nod at Cassian, "already completed camp inspections yesterday. Don't tell me you've brought a human to check for dust in the barracks, too."

I bit back a growl at the way he'd spoken about Feyre. Starting a fight within seconds of my return hardly sent a message that everything was under control. If it weren't for centuries of practice holding my temper back around Devlon, his brain would have been leaking out of his nose.

"After fifty years away, it's good to see your sparkle hasn't dimmed, Devlon. Feyre Cursebreaker is a member of my Inner Circle, and she wouldn't be here to clean up a mess if you'd kept a tighter leash on your men," I said.

And perhaps crushing minds would be unnecessary—Feyre was already reaching for an ash arrow. I'd never seen her shoot, but it didn't surprise me that she pulled it out of the quiver with expert, lethal grace. She knew exactly what she was doing as she smiled and tapped it against her thigh.

Devlon scowled. "These last fifty years have been difficult for us all."

It was all I needed to hear to be sure that he'd keep Windhaven in check while we were in the forest. Devlon might have hated me, but he was reliable and followed orders despite looking for loopholes and grumbling about it. If he wasn't insulting me to my face, the situation was still salvagable.

"I'm not interested in hearing your excuses. The current state of your camp is pathetic, and if I see one more misstep, you can consider yourself court-martialed," I said, then started off for the trees.

I was desperately curious to know what Feyre thought of Illyria. Growing up in this place had shaped me—in many ways, even more than Velaris had—and the part of me that craved my mate's approval needed to hear that she didn't hate it here.

I reached down the bond, intending to ask her, but as I opened my shields slightly, a silver of a thought slipped through from her end. …Rhys's stupidly long legs…

It was a miracle I didn't laugh aloud, just kept my face blank as I reached through the opening she'd left for me. Stupidly long legs? But you look so delicious framed between them.

"Save it for when we're back home, Rhys," Feyre muttered.

Behind me, Azriel snickered, but I didn't have it in me to care, not when Feyre had just called Velaris home.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched her nock the arrow in her hand. Even to acute faerie hearing, her footsteps were silent. Her eyes were wary as she scanned the trees ahead of us, and her nostrils flared as she took in the pine-scented air.

A couple weeks of comfortable domesticity with her in the townhouse had nearly made me forget that Feyre was, at her core, a predator. Not quite a warrior, but someone shaped by years of stalking, trapping, skinning, and gutting, all to keep her family fed. Someone who slipped through the forest with all the lethality befitting the Queen of Nightmares.

I'd watched Feyre trap the Middengard Wyrm like a rabbit, but perhaps that had barely scratched the surface.

#feysand #we said hello and your eyes look like coming home #a simple name and everything has changed #he really went through the FULL SPECTRUM OF EMOTIONS here

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acourtofthought · 1 year ago

Text

How It All Comes Together

(contains spoilers for all series)

I have so many posts at this point. So. Many. Posts 😂 And they all touch upon a lot of the same information but I wanted to put every headcannon I've got in one place in the order of events (though the order of events within each book is flexible) that I think could happen.

I have no idea if any or even one will turn out to be accurate but when I combine her interviews, books, and Q&A sessions together, this is how the information seems to best fit together and makes sense to me.

Starting with an Elucien book:

"Let's focus on healing one sister then the other."

Elucien will restore spring together -

My father would think twice before standing against an army of superior strength and size.

"But Tamlin is already hanging by a thread. You and Lucien have made it clear that he's barely improved this past year" "With a new war possible and Briallyn up to her bullshit with Koschei, we need a strong ally. We need the Spring Court's forces"

"No. But we need to summon Lucien," Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn't like it one bit. "We need to tell him the news, and permanently station him at the Spring Court to contain any damage and to be our eyes and ears."

"I am the first one the others look to - I set the example"

Her sister's delicate scent of jasmine and honey lingered in the red-stoned hall like a promise of spring"

But Elain...The Spring Court had been made for someone like her. / Too bad her sister refused to see her. Nesta would have told Elain to visit this place. And too bad the lord who ruled these lands was a piece of shit.

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she'd placed upon the mantel, half-hidden in the shadows beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess - perhaps even the Mother herself. Nesta hadn't let herself dwell on why she'd felt the need to set the rose there.

"She pulled the small, carved rose from her pocket and set it upon the gravestone. A permanent marker of the beauty and good he'd tried to bring into the world."

Elain and Lucien will perform in Calanmai aka Fire Night together -

"There's a ritual. But it's...very faerie." / "From their coupling, magic will be released and spread to the earth, where it will regenerate life for the year to come."

It was Spring, and yet it wasn't. / Distant - because on the estate, nothing bloomed at all. / The pink roses that had once climbed the pale stone walls of the sweeping manor house were nothing but tangled webs of thorns. / The Spring Court had felt stagnant. Hollow. Empty ..

"It's his (her) instincts that select her (him)."

"I went in his stead, and I did my duty to the court."

I shook my head, trying not to imagine Elain subject to that....fire.

Elain would faint to hear such thoughts.

Elain will be able to shift into an owl (shifting being a marker of the Spring Court) -

"Your Tamlin has brute strength and shape-shifting"

"And once you were in this body, you couldn't change?"

Elain was again at my side, I hadn't heard her steps.

Elain perched silently on the couch nearby.

Elain cocked her head.

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her.

"You came," Elain said behind her and Nesta started, not having heard her sister approach.

Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth - Teller to the hilt through the back of the king's neck. (How did she make it to Nesta in time when she was in the far reaches of their camp?

"Glamour for what?" "To look normal." "Being a High Lord, comes with physical markers too. It's why I couldn't hide what I was becoming from my brohters - from anyone. It's still easier to blend it." / "I think she's got you beat for secret-keeping"

Elain, Lucien, Vassa, and Jurian will find a way to get those on the continent to sign the treaty -

We need the humans in others territories to trust us, if we can ever hope to achieve lasting peace.

"He's spent months helping them sort out the politics of who rules Prythian's slice of the human lands."

"He'd already made many friends across the courts and had always been good at talking to people"

"My sister can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles."

"She (Mor) was still trying to convince them to sign the new treaty."

"I hope that whatever Morrigan is doing in Vallahan will counteract the damage my father will unleash."

"At worst, we'll have proof to justify any conflict and hopefully win allies to our side, avoiding the bloodshed that would carve up these lands once more.

"Jurian..." "Thank the Cauldron for him. I never thought I'd say that, but it's true. "He's keeping everything running. I think he'd have been crowned king by now if it wasn't for Vassa."

Both trying to lead the humans who occupied the sliver of land at the southernmost end of Prythian. Left ungoverned for so long. Too long.

"And what, exactly, does this Band of Exiles plan to do? Host events? Organize party-planning committees?

"She didn't used to be that way." "She loved balls and parties."

but Elain had taken charge of planning

Elain pushed, “We keep it secret—we send the servants away. With the spring approaching, they’ll be glad to go home. And if Feyre needs to be in and out for meetings, she’ll send word ahead, and we’ll clear them out. Make up excuses to send them on holidays. Father won’t be back until the summer, anyway. No one will know.”. / “I’ll do it,” Elain said, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. She didn’t wait for either of us before she strode out, graceful as a doe.

Eris will join Elain and Lucien on the continent, not only to free Vassa and stop Koschei / Beron but to retrieve Mor and for their past to finally be dealt with (their past being a possible mating bond between them which is why he set her free)-

"My father is furious that his ally is dead, but he's not deterred. Koschei remains in play, and Beron might very well be stupid enough to establish an alliance with him, too."

"I wanted to feel out Vassa and Jurian." He didn't mention his brother, oddly enough. "But they clearly know little about this."

But as Eris strode by...I could have sworn there was something like sadness - like regret, as he glanced to Lucien.

But Vassa's freedom would end. Lucien had said as much months ago, and still visited her often enough that I knew nothing in that regard had improved. She would have to return to the lake, to the sorcerer-lord who kept her prisoner, sold to him by the very queens who had again gathered in their joint castle. Formerly Vassa's castle too.

"Tell my Vassa I'm waiting"

"Lucien stared out the window - as if he could see the lake across a sea and a continent. As if he were setting his target."

"But that was all the western edge of it. Beyond that, the continent was vast. And to the south, another continent sprawled. Would she have gone?"

"Mor left for Vallahan this morning and is out of our daemati magic's range."

"She knows the truth but has never revealed it" "Why?" "Because she's afraid of it."

"You're not the person I want to explain myself to." "I doubt Mor will want to listen." (as for a Mor love interest, I think Emerie could be a possibility but I also think the Golden Queen is another option. As her hair and eyes were taken, there's a chance she was made into something new and Elain said "she's not dead, only changed as I was". I don't think she's talking about Vassa. There's also a line where Mor claim she's always be drawn to things that were wild and free)

I think Elain will be the one to break Vassa's curse which I don't think is a curse at all but a Valg infection. If she can heal as Yrene did than we know a healers light can banish the infection from someone's blood. (I have a longer post on this but this is the Cliffs Notes version) -

I'd never seen such spell work. I'd sent my power over her, Helion too, hunting for any possible threats to unbind it. I found none. It was if the curse was woven into her very blood.

"Black fire raced down his blood" (Chaols Valg infection)

"Will many of these soldiers die?"

Amren was holding Elain upright as she vomited in the grass. Not from the Caldron. But pure terror.

Elain rushed to Cassian. / Nesta was watching them when I reached her and Elain at the tree-lined outskirts. Had she done some healing, somehow, in those moments after she'd severed the king's head? / I didn't ask my sister, and she supplied no answer as she took the water bucket dangling from Elain's still bloody hands.

I think Lucien and Eris will finally kill Beron -

"Beron tortured you?"

Beron had tortured his own son for information, rather than thanking the Mother for returning him.

"The same things he does now." "Belittle her, leave bruises where no one but him will see them."

"I was forced to watch as my father butchered the female I loved. My brothers forced me to watch."

The male had been raised with every luxury and privilege - on paper. But who knew what terrors Beron had inflicted upon him? Cassian knew Beron had murdered Lucien's lover. If the High Lord of Autumn had been willing to do that, what wouldn't he do?

And Cassian didn't need to be a courtier to know his next words would slice deep, but it would be a necessary wound. Perhaps it would be enough to push things in the right direction. "I think you might be a decent male, deep down, trapped in a terrible situation." "I think you might even be a good male." "You're just too much of a coward to act like one."

Lucien will finally discover Helion is his father -

But not the gift of Helion. His true father. I still hadn't mentioned it. To anyone other than Rhys.

In the taut silence, Helion nodded to the bright hall beyond the room. "I would like to remove myself from the Mask's odious presence, and perhaps enjoy your palace, Rhysand. It's been a long while since I was in a place of such quiet. If you'll allow it, I'll stay here for an hour or two." "Something bothering you at home?" Rhys inquired, falling into step beside the High Lord.

I think Elain, if she has healing powers (not to mention her affinity for growing things), will be the one to help the Pegasus. This would provide her a purpose in Day and even connects her to the land where the Prison is located) -

Helion's most beloved pair - this black stallion, Meallan, and his mate - hadn't produced offspring in three hundred years, and that last foal hadn't made it out of weaning before he'd succumbed to an illness no healer could remedy.

According to legend, the pegasuses had come from the island the Prison sat upon - had once fed in fair meadows that had long given way to moss and mist. Perhaps that was part of the decline: their homeland had vanished, and whatever had sustained them was no longer.

She found flowers - somewhere.

It's possible that if she does travel to the Prison, she'll also find where Koschei's box is located (possibly the box that possesses his soul) -

"There is an onyx box that he possesses, more vital than anything...save for them. The girls."

"Maybe...." "Part of me wonders if the Prison was either built or stocked with it's inmates to hide the Harp's (onyx box?) presence. There are so many terrible powers here, and the wards on the mountain itself. I wonder if someone hid the Harp (onyx box?) knowing that it'd never be noticed with so much awful magic around it."

"These are like no wards I've felt before." "They feel old. Incredibly old." "They probably predate this place being used as a prison (remember, we learn that the courts were not actually formed until after the Prison was made).

"But Koschei is as old as the sea - older." "I fear what may happen if he ever gets free of the lake. If he sees this world on the cusp of disaster and knows he could strike, and strike hard, and make himself it's master. As he once tried to do, (hint that Koschei is Asteri / possible Valg?) long ago." "Those are legends that predate our courts."

Lucien will help infiltrate the castle where the other Queens had been staying. Not only did the castle once belong to Vassa but if Koschei's soul is not hidden in the prison, maybe it's hidden there -

"I told you; their castle is too heavily warded, and full of magical traps that would trip up even Helion."

I do think it's possible that Koschei will be defeated in an Elucien book and I think it's possible Lucien's fire will fail him in that scene causing him to tap into his Day powers in full -

"I was getting worried you'd never approach. Poor Eris would have met a very sorry end if that had been the case. His fire wouldn't have withstood Koschei's lake, I don't think."

Maybe Lucien will also be the one to help Rhys and Feyre undo the bargain that links their lives to one another -

"Perhaps Amren was working on some way to undo the bargain - if anyone could think of a way, it would be her. Or Helion, he supposed.

I believe Eris will step into power as High Lord of Autumn by the end of an Elucien book. I also wonder if when they think everything has calmed in the rest of Prythian and the continent, they'll visit Feyre and Rhys only to be informed of Bryce having landed in Velaris (and her subsequent return to Midgard). This will set up the either the final spin-off (not sure if SJM still plans on having the third spin-off set in the past which she mentioned as a possibility in interviews) or the next round of ACOTAR books, some from the ones she was contracted for in her latest 4 book deal. -

A Gwynriel book would then follow -

I think Az's story will first tackle his past with Mor. If she is ready to admit to the truths Eris spoke of in SF in an Elucien book then she'll finally be in a place to have the conversation she needs to with Az -

"What of Mor, Az?" Azriel ignored the question.

I think the majority of his arc will deal with his hatred of the Illyrians, and now their issues with the Valkyries, possibly ending with Rhys leaving him charge of overseeing them in a more permanent position -

Perhaps we needed a permanent presence out here, until the Illyrians remembered things like consequences. / But the war had impacted us all, and with the rebuilding, with the human territories crawling out to meet us, with other Fae kingdoms looking toward a wall-less world and wondering what shit they could get away with...We didn't have the resources to station somewhere out here. Not yet. Perhaps next summer, if the climate elsewhere was calm enough.

"The Illyrians are pieces of shit," he said too quietly.

It was healthy, perhaps, for Az to sometimes remember where he'd come from. He still wore the Illyrian leathers. Had not tried to get the tattoos removed. Some part of him was Illyrian still. Always would be. Even if he wished to forget it.

Az might hunt down Bryaxis who I believe is the thing that guarded a portal to Hel that exists in the library. I think we'll see Bryce enter the portal in CC3 or Aidas exit it and they'll realize they need to close it back up -

"Do you want me to hunt it down?" An easy, unruffled question. "Let Bryaxis enjoy the Solstice as well," I said. A rare smile curled Az's mouth. "Generous of you."

"No, but..." Gwyn's swallow was audible. "I can feel something. Like a cat. Small and clever and curious. It's watching.

And then there was this. Not only the true absence of light, but...a womb. The womb from which all life and come and would return, neither good nor evil, only dark, dark, dark. Nesta. Her name drifted to her as if rising from the depths of some black ocean. Nesta. It slid along her bones, her blood. She had to pull back. Pull away. The darkness pulsed, beckoned.

"The House is good." Nesta breathed. "Is it?" Nesta considered. "The darkness in the pit of the library - it's the heart of the House." Amren nodded. "And where is it now?" "It hasn't made an appearance in weeks. But it's still there. I think it's just...being managed. Maybe the House's knowledge that I'm aware of it, and didn't judge it, makes it easier to keep in check."

I think Gwyn may be a cousin of Eris's (maybe Lucien) which will cause conflict between she and Az as he'll struggle to let go of his prejudices toward Eris (and Lucien) while she will want to build a relationship with the only blood family she has left -

"My grandmother was a river-nymph who seduced a High Fae male from the Autumn Court."

Gwyn will have siren powers that she can use to do her bidding against enemies -

Something beckoned in Gwyn's song, in a way the other's hadn't.

Gwyn's voice rose again, holding such a high note it was like a ray of pure light, piercing and summoning.

Like Gwyn was calling only to her.

"I barely outran that one as I led it toward the camp. My timing was just good luck, though."

Gwyn will pull both Narben and the miniature manuscript from the sea. Seeing as how the book is one of the first printed books in existence, I think it will contain information that will be necessary for future threats to their world -

She would have kept it secret. I only heard from a fleeing water-nymph that it had been done."

"When it would not bend to her, she destroyed it." "It was perhaps in our favor. Had the King of Hybern possessed Narben, I fear we would have lost the war."

A miniature illuminated manuscript, crafted by the skilled hands of the smallest of the lesser Fae- one of the first printed books in existence. / He regretted throwing it into the river the moment it had vanished under the ice, but he'd been foolish that night.

I think Gwyn's song may also be able to draw Azriel back, in the chance he has a different form and maybe that's what he meant when he made the comment that he sings. That he too needs to sing in order to pull himself from his "beast" side -

"Az is different. In a lot of ways." His tone didn't invite further questioning.

I think you'll find that Az is even less forgiving than I am." "With that pretty face?" she crooned. "I have a hard time believing it."

"They were shape-shifters who dwelled in the lakes and rivers and lured unwitting people into their arms. And after the drowned them, they feasted." Nesta stared toward the bog's black surface. "And they live in there?" "They vanished hundreds of years before we were born," Cassian said firmly. They're a myth whispered around fires, and a warning for children not to play near the water. But no one knows where they went. Most were hunted, but the survivors..." He conceded with a nod to Azriel. / "Just don't go running after a beautiful white horse or a pretty-faced young man and you'll be fine."

I think Merrill will be the main villain in Gwynriels story. That we'll find she had been in contact with Koschei before his defeat and gone searching for other survivors in other worlds at his command. She'll be the one responsible for helping them enter their world -

"There are others in your court as delusional as you are. They'll get it for me one way or another, with the right incentive. Granted, I'll need your blood to unlock the wards on the Trove."

"But know that Briallyn and the others sold me to him not through their devices, but his. By words he planted in their courts, whispered on the winds."

"I am descended from Labath, Lord of the Western Wind," Merrill seethed. "Unlike Gwyneth Berdara, I am no lackey to be dismissed."

"Midgard is a base. We opened the doors to other worlds to lure their citizens here." "But we also opened the doors so we might conquer those other worlds as well." "Your Starborn ancestors shut the gates to stop us from invading their realm once more and reminding them who their true masters are. And in the process, they shut the gates to all other worlds, including those to Hel, their stalwart allies. And so we have been trapped here. Cut off from the cosmos. All that is left of our people, though our mystics beneath this palace have long sought to find any other survivors, any planets where they might be hiding."

"Merrill's brilliant. Horrible, but brilliant. When she first came here, she was obsessed with theories regarding the existence of different realms - different worlds. Living on top of each other without even knowing it. Whether there is merely one existence, our existence, or if it might be possible for worlds to overlap, occupying the same space but separated by time and a whole bunch of other things I can't even begin to explain to you because I barely understand them myself." "Honestly, I looked at some of her early research and my eyes bled just reading her theorizing and formulas."

so she supposed that two would take them perhaps a bit farther than that, and Velaris … Well, it seemed like it’d take three strings. She didn’t want to know where all twenty-six strings might take her if strummed. Or if someone made a melody..

I think part of a Gwynriel plot will be Az and Gwyn working together to try to understand what Merrill is actually researching -

- and in its center, a massive, working model of their world, the stars and planets around it. and some other fancy thins that had been explained to Cassian once before he deemed them boring and proceeded to ignore them completely. Az, of course, had been fascinated.

Gwyn let out a breathy laugh. “I mean it. I learned about a new Valkyrie technique last night.

“I don’t know,” Gwyn said. “All I know is that I was assigned to work with Merrill and aid in her research,

By the end of a Gwynriel book, I think we'll be set up for a Multi POV / Crossover Series book(s) in the ACOTAR world. Possible plotlines -

Nesta will raise an army of the dead / World Walk -

And one day, when the time was right...They'd take the next steps. They'd walk down whatever road lay ahead of them together.

The Harp sighed, a low purr rolling off it as Nesta’s hand neared. We shall open doors and pathways; we shall move through space and eons together.

He’d think of that another day. Along with the fact that she’d stopped Time with the Harp.

She could feel them around her. The dead. / Thousands and thousands of bodies. But she would not call thousands. Not yet.

I think Lucien will be High King, wielding Gwydion. Yes, I realize it called to Bryce but unless we find out Amren’s recollection of the High Priestess giving it to him was wrong, it seems it first belonged to Fionn and was taken by Theia. Made objects can have others do their bidding, therefore it could have wanted Bryce to be the one to take it home. We know Helion responded to the mask, a made object, therefore Lucien should theoretically be able to wield made objects too -

Rhys as High King: he could think of no other male he'd trust more. No other male who would be a fairer ruler than Rhys. / "But know that the Cauldron's benevolence will be extended to you only for so long before it is offered to another.

"Lucien's goodness"

"He is a good male"

"he'd already made many friends across the courts and had always been good at talking to people."

"Like the Fae male had settled similar arguments between them before."

"But Lucien had learned to keep his cool".

Narben's powers had not been the holy, saviors light of Gwydion" (Side note, SJM tagged Elain under the Blodeuwedd fairytale and the uncle of Lleu (Lleu being the character that seems to match Lucien's part in the tale) was named Gwydion. Gwydion means "born of trees" and in ACOWAR, SJM tells us Lucien looked "crafted from the forest")

SJM once spoke of us seeing more babies in the ACOTAR world and I think this will refer to Elain in any future crossovers (not CC3) -

"But Elain had given it back - had pressed it into Azriel's hands after the battle, just as he had pressed it into hers before. And then walked away without looking back."

I think Elain's war days are over and a pregnancy would provide her a valid reason to sit out of battle. If she does have healing powers then I imagine she'd much rather tend to the wounded.

I also believe that by this time, the food that sustained the Pegasus would be restored and the illness preventing them from having foals would be cured (a possible Elain storyline), making it possible for the Valkyrie to ride into battle on Pegasus.

The End 😂

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