#plz feel free to ignore me i’m just losing my mind over this idea

[wexhappyxfew]

currently envisioning judy and rosie in a roman holiday-like au and i’m like:

[kodzuvii]

ON TRACK! ✩ [14: so, I guess we’re soulmates?]

next: [15: the rock wannabe]

pairing - iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre - crack + fluff :) soulmate au!

synopsis - In a world where soulmates can hear the songs their partner is singing or listening too at any time, Iwaizumi Hajime wants to know who his soulmate is so he can give them a piece of his mind and tell them to stop singing along to soft lofi songs while he’s in the middle of practice because it’s seriously ruining his cool, calm, and collected image.

wc: 4k

warnings!: grammar issues plz ignore + awkward phone call between two overthinking teenagers? 

a/n: this is severely long overdue and I apologize deeply for that. the taglist for this series is open! more info will be found in the note after the story! ty :)

“Nee-chan’s weakness #16: overthinks more often than usual when under a lot of pressure”

Akaashi loved you. He really did. But if the higher-ups gave him an option to choose a new older sister, then maybe, just maybe, he would consider taking it. As he watched you frantically pace around his room with your dog (who looked quite scared) in your arms, he wondered if you viewed him more of a personal therapist rather than a little sibling.

His evening was going normal. After a long day of practice, all he intended to do was read a book after dinner and maybe watch a movie with Tofu afterwards just before bed. Nowhere in his plans were for you to barge into his room unannounced with an evident look of panic on your face while mumbling incoherent words. 

Your hair was a mess and you were clad in an oversized sweater and superman pajama pants with Tofu in one of your arms while your phone was being held tightly in your other hand. All he could get from the words leaving your lips at a 1.75 playback speed was “soulmate” and “phone call” and “not ready.” 

Akaashi watched you stop in your tracks and pull out his desk chair. You plopped yourself onto the seat, face warm and flushed as you tried to recall how you were feeling. “No Keiji I’m telling you that any second now, my soulmate is gonna call me and uhm? Quite frankly, my brain can’t process that and I am fucking scared.” 

Akaashi hummed, “nee-chan calm down.” Tofu then jumped out of your arms and leaped onto Akaashi’s bed. He walked up and cuddled up near the setters side which made Akaashi smile before turning his attention back to you. 

You rolled your eyes and crossed your legs and spun around on his chair, “no Kei this is serious. This first phone call is basically equivalent to a meet-cute which also means the first impressions. I feel like his first impression already isn’t good because I literally injured his friend so this is my moment to redeem myself” you rambled. 

Akaashi made eye contact with Tofu and even the poor dog looked concerned at your state.

“Kei, what if this is all a mistake? I mean the universe must be against me somehow right? What if he hates me the moment I answer and then next thing you know he’s telling me that he wants us to reject each other and then I’m gonna be left all alone to roam around this miserable world and-mph!”

You flinched back as you felt a soft pillow collide with your face and stop your ramble. You looked down at the pillow on the floor and snapped your head up to your brother, “what was that for!” Akaashi rolled his eyes and petted Tofu with his right hand, “you overthink too much” he replied simply. 

You narrowed your eyes at him but you couldn’t come up with any comeback in your head. He was right after all. You groaned and stood up from the spinny chair and walked over to his bed before belly-flopping down. You leaned over and grabbed the blue pillow near his headboard and Akaashi watched as you screamed into the plush material. 

You were losing it.

“This sucks Keiji, I’m terrible at phone calls. I don’t even answer Otosan’s phone calls so how the fuck am I supposed to answer my soulmates?”

In Miyagi, Iwaizumi unknowingly found himself in a similar state as you. The moon was shining from his window and the light cascaded a soft glow into his room. With his windows wide open, he could feel the cool breeze blowing in and slightly brushing over his face. But the breeze didn’t help calm his nerves at all.

Iwa was a simple guy, really he was. 

As someone who meditated regularly as well as found good coping mechanisms that would help calm his stress levels down, you would think that he’d be relaxed in this situation.

But no, Iwa was also internally panicking. Being the stubborn boy he was, he tried to play it off and cool himself down by fooling himself into believing that he was fine and that he had everything under control.

He didn’t

Iwa cracked his neck and looked back down at his phone. He was sitting on the sides of his bed, hand gripping tightly onto his phone as his eyes stared at your number displayed on the screen right under your name and his thumb barely hovering over the call button. 

“Okay. I’m gonna do it,” he thought to himself for the nth time in the past 10 minutes.

He took a deep breath and gave himself an internal word of encouragement and made the move. ‘So close’ he thought. “This is it, I’m gonna do it” But just as his thumb barely, just barely, made contact with the screen, he pulled it back and harshly threw his phone at his pillow. He closed his eyes and groaned in frustration as he fell back, his back hitting his mattress.

This was starting to piss him off. 

It was just a phone call. 

Him simply contacting and talking verbally to someone through his phone. 

He was fine.

Right?

Yeah no, he was totally fine. Pft He’s had phone calls before. In fact, he had done it several times with several people (that’s a lie he only picks up to his parents and maybe Oikawa on good days) Why was this so hard? Phone calls are a natural thing. Especially in the 21st century. He wasn’t some old man who had no idea how to talk on the phone. 

He got this. 

But wait, did you even want him to call you first? What if you wanted to call him first? Wait what if he asked you during the wrong time and you’re tired? 

Iwaizumi then lifted his head slightly to look at the clock on his bedside table. It was 8 pm. It wasn’t that late right? You would’ve told him if you were busy right? Wait what if you’re an early bird who liked catching a full 12 hours of sleep. Or what if you were just too scared to tell him you weren’t in the mood to call. God, there were so many factors he should’ve thought about before asking you. He blinked and heaved a frustrated sigh as he looked up to his ceiling. This was a lot harder than he’d thought. 

If there was one thing he learned from Oikawa’s fangirls is that girls are scary.

You were no exception to that idea.

Iwaizumi took a deep breath before pulling himself back up and leaned over to grab his phone. He turned it to the side and made sure once again that his ringer was on and that the volume was all the way up just in case you know, you wanted to call first and save him from all the stress he was feeling. 

He stared at your contact information and gripped his phone tighter. Your contact didn’t even have a photo and your name was just ‘Akaashi Y/n’ on his phone. Everything that happened between you two from the past couple of weeks flooded his head and he couldn’t help but internally cringe. He silently cursed at Oikawa for bringing him into this situation because maybe, just maybe, he could’ve held off this first phone call and wait for a couple of years when his voice would be a lot deeper and he would be a lot cooler and he wouldn’t be sitting on his bed with a pathetic expression while listening to his phone ring and-

Wait,

Ring?

Iwaizumi’s eyes widened as he now realized that he must’ve subconsciously pressed the call button on his screen. This was it, there was no turning back now. His olive-green eyes stared blankly at his screen. He kept blinking and re-reading your name and just hoping silently that it would change from your name to Oikawa’s so he could yell out all his frustration at him. 

A couple of seconds went by before the ringing stopped and he felt his breath hitch when his ears picked up the sound of your voice on the other line. 

“Hello?”

Oh, shit this was really happening

It’s been 3 seconds, shut up Hajime. 

Iwaizumi cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck with his free hand.

“Hey, Akaashi-chan right?”

“Mhm but please just call me Y/n! oh and uh hi Iwaizumi-kun” 

Iwaizumi blinked, he doesn’t know why but he felt his cheeks heat up as he heard his name come out of your lips. Iwaizumi cleared his throat before bringing a hand to scratch the back of his neck, “Uh- how are you doing?” he asked. Oh my god, you probably picked up on how unconfident he sounded. This is horrible. He winced and brought his hand to his forearm, rubbing it in an attempt to ease down his nerves. 

“I’m doing okay, did you uhm-- eat yet??” 

Iwaizumi stiffened, taken back a bit at the question but you interrupted him before he could reply. “I-I’m guessing you got back from practice not too long ago right? Assuming you stayed back late and stuff,” you trailed off. Wincing at your own awkwardness. Iwaizumi pinched his forearm and chuckled nervously, “No-uhm you’re right I got back a couple of hours ago. And yeah, I ate already. Did you?” He asked back, You shook your head, “no not yet. Been busy reviewing and all that stuff” you answered truthfully as you glanced up at your stacks of opened notebooks and coloured highlighters messily spread around all over your desk.

Iwaizumi grunted, his nervousness momentarily washing away as concern came over him. “Y/n, you can’t neglect your health. Cut some fruit up or something” You froze for a second at how stern he sounded just now. Then you realized that this could just be his natural voice and you’re just reading into it too much. Oh god you were starting to overthink again. How did Bokuto and your brother get past their first conversation?

Your silent curses towards the world were cut short when you realized that too many seconds passed and Iwaizumi was still waiting for your reply. Like you do in any unsure situation, you stifled a laugh and nodded while scratching your knee awkwardly, “I will I will.” 

A long line of silence then came through and there were no other words to describe it other than awkward. The faint buzzing of your phone sounded louder than ever. You could hear the wind blowing, the clock ticking, and the way your legs would shuffle against each other as you fidgeted. The silence between you two was long, tense, and uncomfortable. The kind of silence that made people want to die on the inside. You both started to question the situation you were in. You had the same goal, both wanting to learn more about your soulmate. Yet you’re lack of comfort and his lack of confidence made things more nerve wracking than it should be. 

In an attempt to ease the tension, you tried to think of something you could say that would loosen both of you up. A quick little sentence that was casual and good for conversation starters. You thought for a second, trying to recall your favourite movie couples and what words they said to each other during their meet cute. You needed something smooth, simple, but something that could address the situation you were in. It then clicked in your mind, 5 words, 5 syllables (or did it count as 7?) whatever.

 All your time spent watching incredibly dramatic romance movies has led up to this moment. 

“So…” you started in a casual tone.

“I guess we’re soulmates huh?”

The moment those words left your mouth your mind short-circuited and you wanted the ground to swallow you up whole. It definitely sounded way cooler in your head. God what were you thinking? And why did you make it sound like it was a question. stupid. Barely 10 minutes in and you’ve already embarrassed yourself. 

You fell back onto your bed (Akaashi kicked you out of his room) and covered your hand over your mouth and moved your phone away from your face and let out a tiny scream so that Iwa would not be able to hear. Maybe you weren’t as smooth as you thought. However, that didn’t matter anymore. The words had been said and now the embarrassment was eating you up and every single bad scenario you had previously imagined began to cloud your mind. This was it, you’re soulmate definitely thought you were a loser, bye-bye happiness and hello staying sad and single until you fall into your grave.

Your ears perked up when you heard him clear his throat. You sat up, moved your phone closer to your ear as you anticipated his reply.

“Yeah I guess”

Your body tensed up at how unsure and bored he sounded. And you thought this moment couldn’t become anymore embarrassing. You physically felt your soul leave your body the moment he spoke those words in such a bored tone. This is gonna be a moment that would forever haunt you in the years to come.  

Phone calls were neither of you guys’ strong suits and that fact was clearly evident in the way neither of you knew what to say next. While you could handle carrying yourself in real-life conversations, the closeness of someone's voice against your ear and their lack of presence in front of you made things made things more stressful than it should be. Iwaizumi was naturally not much of a talker, he usually let his flamboyant best friend that was joint to his hip take control of conversations. It didn’t help that most people found him rather intimidating and unapproachable.

The silence stretched out for another minute and the longer before you decided to speak up once again. You agreed to call because you wanted to learn more about him, your soulmate, and there was no way you could learn anything about him by just listening to the faint sounds of his breath through your phone. You shook your head and gave yourself a mini pep talk in your head. 

Come on Y/n, pussy up bitch.

“Iwaizumi-kun I’m gonna be honest-”

Iwaizumi's hands that were playing with the cotton material of his sweatpants froze. His voice got stuck in his throat and a part of him became worried. Curse his lack of conversational abilities. He was too lost in second guessing himself while structuring his sentences about what he wanted to say to realize that you were probably waiting for him to say something. Did he already mess things up with his soulmate?

“-I suck at phone calls. Like, I’m terrible at it and I’m honestly really nervous right now because this whole thing is a bit overwhelming but I want to get to know more about you because well, you seem pretty cool” you rambled and were met with silence on the other line. Iwaizumi suddenly felt himself get flustered the moment you said that he was cool. 

You sighed and continued, trying to ease the way your heart was pounding against your chest. “Truthfully I don’t know what to say or what we should talk about, so we can start with the basics, yeah?” You cleared your throat and straightened yourself up as you took a deep breath.

“Hi Iwaizumi-kun, I’m Y/n”

It took a moment for his mind to process the words you said. Basics. Yeah, he was capable of doing that. After taking a deep breathe, one that was meant to give him some sort of encouragement, he replied. You felt chills go up your back as his gruff voice echoing through the speaker;

“Hey, I’m Iwaizumi”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

First real conversations were never easy. A part of you felt like you were back in your first year of junior high when your teacher was forcing you to play ice-breaker games in an attempt to get to know the people in your class. The questions were the usual “what’s your favourite food?”, “when's your birthday?”, etc etc. 

However, instead of getting to know your classmates, the game would usually just result in everyone staring at one another as they waited for someone to speak up. An awkward tension cutting into the classroom as everyone simultaneously realizes that everyone was kinda lame and boring and that they don’t really wanna get to know the people who sat beside them. 

You hoped that wouldn’t be the case with Iwaizumi. You’ve known you’d had a soulmate since middle school. Since then, you’ve always fantasized about your meet-cute. You’ve watched many romantic movies and read more than enough manga to fuel your brain with endless cute imaginations and ideas. 

But alas, the reality of the world is that cute scenarios are simply meant to live in fictional stories. Akaashi had even told you that you needed to humble down your expectations to save yourself from disappointment in the future. 

The first couple words exchanged in your conversation weren’t poetic words of love confessions and sweet nothings. They were typical, short common questions that people generally use to learn more about each other. The expected “when’s your birthday?” and “what do you do in your free time?”

You learned about how his birthday was during June, his favourite colour was dark green, he liked agedashi tofu, and how he spent his free time doing some sort of exercise or physical activity. Iwaizumi was also relatively quiet, truth be told you did most of the talking while he said quiet words to let you know that he was still listening. Along with being quiet, he was private. A direct contrast to you. You were an open book, your mouth moved faster than your mind and you had not much of a problem telling him about little details about yourself.

Iwaizumi on the other hand was selective on what he wanted to tell you. Iwaizumi was simple. A down to earth guy who had his own little sense of edginess to him. He was levelheaded and was someone who strived for realistic goals rather than unreasonable daydreams. You caught that when he simply answered that his goal right right now was to attend nationals with his best friend. When you asked if he had further goals, he simply said that everything else was too far into the future and was out of his reach. You could also tell that even though he used names such as “piece of trash” and “shittykawa” to describe his said best friend, he cared for him in his own way. 

Iwaizumi always had a feeling that his soulmate would be the more talkative one out of the two of them. He wasn’t reserved per se, just wasn’t one to ramble over things when deemed unnecessary. You on the other hand could talk for hours. Just from listening to your speaking patterns and tone of voice, you were bright and confident. You found ways to stray away from the original topic and talk about something completely different. On top of learning about your birthday, favourite food, colour, and basically everything he told you, he also somehow learned about your allergy to raspberries, your admiration for early 2000s movies, how you had a dog who you also considered like another brother, and now he was listening to you retell a story about how you got into baking and cooking.

You were carefree once you became comfortable. Your voice was captivating, one that made people always pay attention to whatever you were saying. He listened intently as you went on about your story, he hummed here and there to indicate that he was listening and nodded along even though he knew you wouldn’t see. 

A part of him felt relieved to hear you speak so freely. While you never directly came to him, he could tell from your Twitter rants that you were going through a lot of stress from school. Iwaizumi may have only met you formally recently, but he’s listened to your taste in music long enough to have an idea about how the songs you were playing indicated your moods. You had been playing such gloomy music during the past couple of weeks but he was still too nervous and felt like he was overstepping a line if he became too upfront and told you to tell him what’s wrong.

Yeah, you were soulmates, but you technically didn’t know him just like how he didn’t know you. 

Nonetheless, a part of him felt relieved at hearing the genuine excitement in your voice because he knew that at this very moment, you were feeling okay.

“-and that’s how I baked a cake to persuade my brother into not telling our Mom that we sneaked out to the convenience store at 4 am,” you said cheerfully as you recalled the memory. You had switched from sitting at your bed to now sitting on your chair and leaning your upper body onto your desk. You moved your word out of the way and had your elbows propped up on the surface of your desk, your head leaning onto your phone in your hands. A part of you felt giddy when you heard the faintest chuckle come from the other end of the line. 

The awkward tension between you two was fizzling out and you no longer felt as nervous as you did in the beginning. You were slowly and surely becoming a bit more comfortable with his presence. Truthfully, Iwaizumi still felt a bit awkward. Not that he minded you talking a lot, he just didn’t know what to say and was worried that you found him boring like how Oikawa said he was. 

He really was trying. It just wasn’t in his character to be so open about himself.

“Y/n, you know how dangerous that could've been?”

“Shh, my brother was practically a giant back when we were in junior high so he was enough to scare any creeps away. Plus, I already knew then that the elbow is the strongest point in the body so I would’ve been able to fight any sort of dangerous threat!” you exclaimed. “That is not a good excuse,” he replied in an unamused tone. 

You huffed, “At least I know something about self-defence” you attempted to reason. You only heard Iwaizumi reply with a simple ‘tched’ which made you laugh.

It was then that you looked onto the clock at the corner of your desk and realized how late it was and it was also then that you remembered that you still had some notes that you wanted to write up before you went to bed. Curse University prep. You were so lost in your conversation with the boy that time slipped past your mind along with your other responsibilities. Just when you two had started getting into a comfortable rhythm too. You sighed sadly which immediately caught Iwaizumi’s attention. 

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked. You shook your head and removed your phone from your ear and pressed the speaker button on your phone screen. You placed your phone on your desk and stood up to organize the notebooks you had pushed aside on your desk. “Nothing bad, just remembered I had a couple more notes I wanted to finish up before bed,” you said with a hint of sadness in your voice. You wanted to continue your conversation with him and you really weren’t in the mindset to review your nutrition notes right now.

Iwaizumi paused to take a moment to look up at his wall clock and realized that it was nearing midnight. Iwaizumi felt a twinge of guilt inside of him when he realized that he kept you up so late. This was even past his own scheduled bedtime. 

“I didn’t mean to keep you up so late, my bad” he apologized. You stifled a laugh as a tired smile spread on your lips. “It’s not your fault. Something tells me that you’re the type of person who sleeps early so I should be apologizing for keeping you up” you replied. 

You suddenly yawned and stretched your arms over your head, “I’m gonna finish up and call in for the night. You should get some rest Iwaizumi-”

“Go to bed” You flinched slightly at how serious his voice got. 

“It’s late, you can finish up your notes tomorrow. Studying when you’re tired isn’t healthy. Get some sleep so you won’t feel extra tired and groggy tomorrow morning. If you’re gonna stay up, at least go and make yourself something to eat for tomorrow so you feel energized” 

You smiled tiredly, “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you Iwaizumi-kun. Oh and thank you for tonight, I enjoyed talking to you and I hope we can do this again” you shyly suggested. You closed your eyes as you clutched the material of your sweater to your chest as you waited for his answer. Iwaizumi felt a sense of relief rush into him knowing that you enjoyed talking to him. A sense of his self doubt momentarily washing away. You didn’t hear a reply for a moment and it worried you that you might’ve said the wrong thing. But a couple of moments passed before you heard a faint “Me too”

You moved your hand to hover over the red call button on your screen,

“Goodnight Iwaizumi-kun, sleep well”

“You too, Y/n”

The ‘beep’ from your phone indicating the call had ended echoed through your room. You stared at your phone for a moment as it dawned on you that you just had your first real conversation with your soulmate. And yeah it wasn’t the large extravagant straight-out-of-movie scene you had always envisioned but that didn’t matter. What mattered now was that you had talked to your soulmate and you knew a little bit more about him and he knew a little bit more about you. 

It was a start.

You yawned and stretched your arms up over your head once again and sighed in relief when you felt your back crack. Your arms dropped to your side and you frowned as your eyes looked down at your notebooks that you had now neatly stacked in your hands. You realized that you were far too tired to even open up your textbooks, let alone finish a couple pages of notes.

Thinking back to what Iwaizumi said, you could always tune in early for the night and finish everything up tomorrow in the library. Plus, waking up to something to energizing to eat didn’t sound so bad. It wasn’t going to take long and you figured you had a bit more energy left to cut up some fruit before surrendering yourself to sleep.

Content with your decision you turned around and made your way towards your door. However, just as you were about to step out you heard three buzzes from your phone come back to back. Curiously, you walked back towards your desk and leaned down to read the message:

“Hey, if you need someone to study with then let me know and we can facetime and I can keep you company. If you want to of course. No pressure if you’re not up for it”

“Oh and grapefruits are really good to have the morning by the way, they’re refreshing”

“rest well.”

a/n: hello! This chapter is very long overdue and I’m really sorry about that. I’m not gonna go into it but just know that this series is back and I hope to keep a steady flow of updates going :)

I struggled a lot with writing this chapter partly because I myself am terrible at phone calls but I hope this gives an insight to difference between Iwa and Yn!

I will be opening up taglist for any of my newer readers who would like to keep up with the updates of “on track!” Feel free to comment or send me a message : ) Regarding my current taglist, it’s been months and I’ve noticed a lot of people changed their @s so I tried to find everyone who changed their users. If I accidentally tagged you and you weren’t on my list let me know + inform me if i also missed you. If you no longer want to be added, then please let me know if you would like to be removed from the taglist. Thank you all so much for your patience and feel free to let me know about your thoughts down below :)

++ I just want to clarify iwaizumi’s initial care for Y/n’s well-being isn’t meant to be interpreted as “omg he’s falling for her already” and should be seen as just someone who cares about his soulmate and wants them to be healthy. He knows that YN is his soulmate and cares about her because of that. But it’s more of a platonic care at the moment. They’re soulmates, yes, but he’s not in love with her and Y/n is not in love with him (yet at least) ya gets?

yeah i’m just a fan of slow burn

I just wanted to say that just because I’m not confident in the way I wrote him 😅 thank you so much again for reading!

-

taglist! [OPEN; comment or send an ask to be added!]

 @aircorumble @bunnyuuji-archive @cloudsvna @donteathecake @iloveyouasmuchaspoohloveshoney @sunabrainrot  @tadashi-simp @agaashesmilktea @sbaepsae @vicassa @akaashikeijisthighs @mariachiii @ayocee @starsinthepavement @cece-lives-here @elianetsantana @gxrleexis-arctic-monks @ssaihanuweol @sazunari​ @kenmacorps​ @simping-for-tendou​ @intoomuchfandoms​ @vxnna​ @froyopet​ @komouri​ @idek-at-thispoint​ @volexis​ @insomniish @amberisnotcrazy @maramalademadara​ @faewraithsworld​ @mjoork​ @mindofess​ @dreamstormings​ @h0ngh0ngh0ng​ @keekee-732​ @daewengol​ @amessypan​ @applekenm​ @ptv-hades​ @killlerqween​ @bakusquadz​ @bbymilkbread​ @bbyhaji​ @sophie-duck​ @marissaraeblr​ @kellesvt​

tags continue in comments w/ my main🤍

[wri0thesley]

Asfjfkdkf okay so, advice anon here again (sorry, I just got out of a meeting!) and like, I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I can’t do more than write one thing once a year. I feel like I don’t deserve to call myself a writer because I haven’t written a real fic since last May, honestly. And it’s not lack of ideas that are keeping me in this hellhole, it’s just that the instant I go to put them into proper words, I lose steam immediately and it doesn’t translate from thought to word document. And I know my mental health is fried because of the last year and some personal and work stressors that I’m sure have me burnt out, but it’s still like…I’ll think I’ll have motivation to write when I get home and done with the day and then it’s like pulling teeth to even so much as make a note so I remember my own idea to write later (which ends up being never). It doesn’t help seeing some of my closest friends having all kinds of free time on their hands and going out and joining rp servers and getting to hone their style and evolve and be great, and I’m happy for them, but I keep beating myself up about it because I feel like I can’t do it too. I’m a writer who can’t fucking write and I hate feeling like this.

And it feels like a double slap in the face with how much the writing community is popping off and flourishing too because it feels like unless I’m constantly engaging and putting out a headcanon post to remind people I’m not dead, no one cares. My blog is on the small side already and no one gives me any kind of feedback either and like, I don’t care if I have a few hundred or a few thousand followers, honestly. I’m so grateful to any person who’s read my work and thought that hey, maybe they’d like to stick around. It floors me that there are actual people who would do that over my work and I treasure each of them. But it also just feels like a lot of people don’t care to actually interact at all unless you have a substantial following.

Idk it all kind of builds up and like, I’m already feeling burnt out and then the combination of knowing I’m falling behind and that I’m not even someone who can call herself a has-been because I’m a never-was, it all just feels like a rock I’m trapped under. It’s really snowballed at this point and the more I think about it, the more frustrated I get, which only makes it worse. Legit I can’t think of a better metaphor for it than not being able to get or keep my writerly dick up enough to make any kind of content asbfkzg

Sorry, I know that was kind of a lot and I hope it isn’t overwhelming to read all that. You’re someone I really look up to as a creator and your input means a lot to me though, so if you have any words of wisdom, it would be immensely appreciated. But again, if this is like, too much, plz feel free to just ignore this, I don’t want to be a bother. Thank you for taking time to read this, I hope you have a wonderful day.

my response is long so its under the cut! <3

ah, anon! i have definitely experienced being burnt out and being unable to put anything down on paper - i'm very lucky that my main job is caring for my fiancee so i have a lot of spare time to do things with, so i can't say i know how you feel there - but that dread of having ideas that just don't translate? i know that very well. it's actually one of the reasons i like tumblr so much; it's so easy to just throw a paragraph or two together of headcanons in response and feel accomplished, if that makes sense? lots of my own personal favourite writers aren't people who are posting things every day, but i one hundred percent understand the fear of 'if i'm not posting, people won't care' (i must have written well over 300 fics at this point and i still feel like it).

i don't know what fandoms you're in; jojo seems to be quiet, but the other fandoms i've found myself in really very much are popping off. honestly, i think half the time popularity is just writing for the right character and it being seen by the right person who'll reblog it and everything will snowball. lack of interaction in notes doesn't mean lack of talent. i consider myself very lucky to have any kind of 'following' and it blows my mind people stick around, but i know a lot of that is because i post a lot, i write a lot, i don't shut up. i think a lot of anons/people are scared to interact with someone they haven't seen interacting with anons before. (as a side note, if you feel comfy sharing your url with me i would love to follow u ;_;. i think a big part of the writing community on tumblr is having the 'network' of people and i LOVE reblogging and reading and supporting other writers, and i know i'm in a fairly fortunate place that whilst i dont have a fuck-off huge following, i have a reasonable one who are very interactive and lovely!).

sorry i'm getting distracted! i'm not going to be like OH ANON YOU SHOULD WRITE FOR LOVE OF WRITING because that's ridiculous; we're all posting because we are small children presenting fics to an audience and saying 'please tell me if you liked it!'. i think most artists of any medium want validation and feedback and just to know they're being heard. it can be frustrating to work so hard on something and feel like you're getting nowhere; it's extra frustrating to know you have something in you that just isn't coming out.

a lot of advice i feel like i could give you might not even be that useful if you're too exhausted to do anything. i'm lucky that i'm one of those people who starts typing and doesn't stop. when i get bad writer's block, i just force myself through it. sometimes i use drabble prompts or alphabet prompts to force myself through it, or random generators (i know some writers who do drabbles that are exactly 100 words which seems like a fun idea but i'm so needlessly verbose it would never work for me). if you can find ten minutes of your day even to write a couple of words (maybe a morning might be better for you if you're tired in the evening?), it's amazing how quickly they build up.

anyway, i appreciate you feeling like you could come to me!!! i'm sorry if any advice i give sounds condescending or is just plain useless, i'm not actually that good at it but i very much understand where you're coming from and i hope things get better <3.

[imastrangeone98]

Lost and Found - Chapter 16: One Last Obstacle

(A/N: the ultimate showdown is beginning to make an appearance! I'm pretty excited, wby non-existent fans??)

Here's some bad nice little filler before the main event. Also wow spoiler alert: I made Gabriel a super creep and it made my skin crawl just writing it

Also wow this is the longest chapter by far I think. Beware XD

WARNING: this chapter may contain sensitive discussion on god and religion. If you're someone easily sensitive to this, then plz do not read

The trio landed on the marble floor, quickly examining their surroundings in shock.

"What the hell happened?" Lady asked, gripping tightly at the Kalina Ann.

"Is it me, or is everyone dead?" Dante chimed in, kicking at a nearby corpse.

Faith closed her eyes, and felt around her surroundings, searching for any emotion from the fallen angels- fear, pain, despair, anything- only to find absolutely nothing. "It seems that with God's purification, the angels somehow lost the source of their power, and the loss of it must have been too much for them to handle."

"Honestly, if you... purified it- Him... shouldn't they get stronger?" Her friend scratched her head in confusion. Lady always hated when something couldn't quite click in her head.

"Perhaps... the angels were never as angelic as the Bible made them out to be. And God was not the holy being that everyone believed Him to be."

The half-demon hummed. "I mean, look at His insides. That shit was black as sin."

"Yes-"

RAGEHATREDHOPEGRIEFMOURNINGLOSTFAMILYLOSTFATHERLOSTELIZABETHELIZABETHELIZABETH-

She flinched. "Dante. Lady. You need to leave now."

"What? Why?" He turned to her, reeking confusion. "They're all dead; we can go home."

"No," the nephilim corrected. Panic began to settle in her bones. "There's one left."

"How? Who?"

"The strongest of all. Gabriel." Fear made her stomach churn. She frantically pushed them towards the exit high above. "Dante, I want you to fly Lady back."

There was a soft beat of wings somewhere in the cavern.

He approaches.

"What?! No! What about you?" Lady stubbornly planted her feet on the floor. "We're not leaving without you."

"Ditto." Dante placed his hands of Faith's shoulders; they were shaking. "I'm not losing anyone else."

He's scared, she realized. He was terrified; he had lost his mother and his brother- he refused to lose any more that he cared for... Like me.

"Dante..." she tried to reassure him, holding his trembling hand. "I'll be okay-"

His hand suddenly squeezed hers painfully. "We need to go. Now."

ELIZABETH!

Faith's head ached. "Go!" She pushed at her friends, urging them to hurry. "Go!"

"Faith!"

Time stood still. The overwhelming grief that suddenly filled her was physically staggering. Images flew through her mind- images of a beautiful young woman in a flowing white dress, of her smiling at someone, of her taking a walk in a blooming meadow with a small bundle in her arms-

Of her face twisted in agony as her wings were ripped out of her shoulder blades.

Faith collapsed to the ground. Her entire body trembled. Tears spilled out of her eyes, and she squeezed them shut.

Why? Why did that hurt her so much? She didn't even know that woman, yet she could feel the pain. Her shoulders burned, as if it were her wings that were being ripped off.

"Faith!" Someone called to her. Who...? "What's wrong? Come on, we need to go!" Warm hands cradled her, and she was suddenly lifted into the air. "Hey, asshole! Leave us alone!"

A voice boomed, "GIVE HER TO ME!" It was so strong, it felt like her bones were shaking.

"FUCK YOU!" a high-pitched voice screamed.

LOSSMOURNINGGIVEHERBACKTOME!!!

Her body felt heavy, a useless weight in someone's arms. She would only slow them down.

And that was exactly the archangel's plan.

Pain rippled throughout her entire being. More images of the mysterious woman flashed behind her eyelids.

"Let me go," she croaked out. "Run."

"No!" Oh, so it was Dante. His cinnamon fragrance was familiar. How had she not recognized it earlier? "We can make it!"

"It's me he's after," she said, looking up at her companion. It hit her- this could be the last time she would see him. No doubt Gabriel had something horrendous planned for her. With some effort, she stroked his cheek. "I'll hold him off. Go home."

Something wet fell on her cheek. And she was shocked to see him cry. "I won't leave you."

He would fight. She knew this. If it meant that she'd go with them, he'd do anything. And she refused to see him die trying to do so.

"I'll be okay," she whispered, patting his arm. "Trust me."

Lady rushed to their side, tears streaming down her cheeks- no doubt it was Gabriel's handiwork. "We can't hold him off! What do we do?"

Dante was silent for a few precious seconds. Then, slowly- painfully- he set Faith on her feet.

"Dante...?" Oh, no- she suspected something.

"We need to go." His voice was brittle; the fear and heartbreak that radiated from him was almost enough to break Faith completely. Almost.

Lady stared at him, the suspicion gleaming in her eyes. "What's going-"

Instantly Triggering, he grabbed his friend's arms, hoisting her up. "No time. It's ride or die."

"Bye, Lady." Faith brushed her fingers over her cheek, one last time, embedding it to memory. "I'll see you soon."

"Wait, what-?!" She never got to finish her sentence, as she immediately started screaming when the half-demon took off, zooming through the exit above them.

They took her heart with them.

But of course, there was no time to mourn. Gabriel was upon her. And she would have to face him, whether she was ready or not.

And she turned, finding herself face to face with the archangel himself.

And archangel he was indeed. His entire form radiated power: he stood tall above her, sunlight eyes ablaze with some emotion even Faith couldn't quite explain, hair as fine as corn-silk delicately framing his face, his body rippling with pulsing energy that nearly sent her reeling.

Yet she remained standing. Her violin- pieced back together and lined with new gold- manifested in her hands. "I know who you are," she managed to say, swallowing down her fear and growing sense of deja vu. "And I'm not afraid of you."

"Nor should you be," he replied, brushing a stray hair out of her face. A gentle smile traced his face. "You have her eyes."

"Whose eyes?" she asked, beginning to wonder if talking with him any further was a good idea. Despite his smile, something sinister lurked underneath.

Something... unclean.

"Elizabeth." His eyes turned soft, like marigolds swaying in a breeze. "Your mother. I see the resemblance." A finger lovingly stroked her cheek. "You never knew her. I always regretted that."

She shuddered, the gesture leaving goosebumps on her skin. "I don't know what it is you speak of. But I know you're looking for a fight. So I'll give you one."

"Now, now. Violence is not necessary here." He circled her, occasionally poking at her sides, or tugging her hair, or taking note of her many scars. "She was very beautiful. And you are so..." He paused, a slight grimace taking over his features. "...Not."

Why was his voice so... wrong? Why did it send shivers down her spine?

"How strange, don't you think?" he mused, resting a hand on her head, ignoring the way she flinched under his touch. "Human blood taints everything it touches. So much war, so much hatred, so much death. Conflicts arise from the slightest wound of pride, divisions built over meager physical differences. It could have all been stopped, had your human weakness not gotten in the way."

"Weakness?" She gazed at her scars, traced the marks on her neck and shoulder. "Or strength?"

"Strength?" he cackled. "What strength do you have? Everyone you loved, and everyone who loved you, now exist only in your memory."

"Not everyone." Dante. Lady.

"Humanity is a weakness, my dear. All we wanted to do was save it." He stroked her neck with a brush of his hand, and she could just feel the wonder he had- the shared dream of a new heaven and a new earth, a gold-and-crystal kingdom and shining gates of pearl, all of His people equal in His eyes, filled with unabashed joy-

Nothing but joy, united under one shared mind. No memories, no talents, no blessedly unique moments shared between one another.

A white canvas. An empty note.

"You'd turn them into dolls," she realized with horror. "You'd take away everything from them. Everything that makes them who they are."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Delicately smoothing down her hair, he continued, "There would be no more pain. No more suffering. You and your friends," he eyed her scars, "would be free."

"Just not from you. And besides..." She gazed at her scars, thought of Lady's eyes, of Dante's sharp teeth. "Differences make us unique."

Gabriel released a heaving sigh. "And here I was hoping we could still... cooperate." He slid away from her, much to her relief. His hands were much too cold. "Your blood may be tainted, but it still holds power. Why use it to protect those who are only destined to die?"

"I don't know. Why did God make us so vulnerable?"

His eyes hardened. "Do not insult Father."

"He's dead," she retorted. "And the way I see it, He's always done better when He was silent."

"You insolent-" He stopped himself and sucked in a deep breath. "You're just like your mother."

Faith froze. "What?"

"Before she died, she said the exact same thing." Rage simmered within him, just barely held back by an almost impossible amount of patience. "What a pity that you will die just the same."

With a swipe of his hand, a paintbrush manifested in his grip, and he sent a flash of gold and hatred flying towards her.

On instinct, she summoned her violin and eased a soothing note through the air. When they clashed, it was like the world itself exploded. Bodies and chunks of marble flew everywhere.

The scar on Faith's heart ached. Before she could stop it, blood leaked out of her chest, coalescing into the all too familiar form of her father.

Gabriel sneered. "So. He's decided to make an appearance. Well then..." With a few strokes of his brush, a form of a woman began to emerge- with luscious hair that tumbled off her shoulders, piercing honey eyes, and beautiful wings that shimmered with a thousand colors.

She radiated power, much like Gabriel- no, they were practically equals. And even worse...

She seemed so... familiar. Had she seen this angel before?

Whoever she was, her father seemed to know her. They seemed to be watching each other, and they radiated so many emotions it nearly sent Faith reeling- betrayal, hope, longing, love?

"아빠?" she called out quietly. "괜찮아?"

Slowly, the ghost nodded. A violin took form in his hands, and he raised it to his chin.

"A touching family reunion?" Gabriel cackled. "I suppose it's a good thing you'll join them."

She huffed; the faces of her beloved friends floated just behind her eyelids. "Well, I suppose you'll have to kill me first." As she began to play, Bach's Parita No. 2 flowing through the air, she announced, "And if you want to kill me, pray that I don't Fade you first."

------------------------------------------------------

A/N: it's always the filler that's kinda boring, that's kinda the shitty part about writing stories and I'm not good at writing filler like this

But then again I'm not all that great at writing action either, especially the weird action that's gonna happen in the next chapter so

Whatever it's fine XD no one reads this anyway!

아빠? - dad?   괜찮아? - are you okay?

Edit: read chapter 17! :D

[demenior]

17 voltron plz

I got so carried away so here’s 3 difference scenarios:

#17 - Soulmate au: enemy name on one wrist, soulmate name on the other

1)

Like everyone else, Lance has names on his wrists. One for joy, one for sorrow, or so that rhyme went. He could never remember it properly.

Unlike a lot of people, Lance isn’t too concerned about finding either of the names. He figures life will bring to him what he needs when he’s ready. That, and, the names on his wrists are so weird that he’s gotta rely on hope and circumstance to find them.

On his right wrist is what he hopes is a name, because otherwise he doesn’t know what to make of it. Just enough bumps and grooves in his skin that for a while he thought might be braiile, but doesn’t say anything in any language he can find just yet. When he runs his fingers over the spot he gets a warm thrill, like he’s being given a small shock. It’s a little embarrassing because it makes him grin like a fool, so he saves that for his downtime. It’s gotta be his soulmate’s name because nothing bad should make him feel so good, right?

Lance is 100% confident it’s his soulmates name because prominent on his left wrist are three stark letters in English: War. Lance thinks it’s a hilarious name for an antagonist. Who wouldn’t want to be enemies of War?

Well, there was that time-- when he was accepted to the Garrison-- that his parents sat down to talk to him. About what it could mean if War was his soulmate. Lance had never looked at it that way-- it just seemed so obvious that war had to be the enemy, right?

In either case, he stayed up all night thinking about why he wanted to be a fighter pilot so badly.

Maybe it was a good thing he was selected for cargo training.

In either case, all his fears came to an end when he met Keith Kogane. Lance cracked a joke-- Keith was an incredible pilot, Lance was already itching to watch him in the simulations and see if he could learn from him-- when Keith completely ignored him and just… walked away. Because Lance was training for cargo and Keith was training for cooler and better things and apparently that made him think he was better than Lance. Well, two could play at that game.

This means war, Lance thought dramatically, and then the shoe dropped. He didn’t realize soulmate names could be figurative. But there you go. He found his antagonist.

Blue introduces herself like a hug around his brain. Her purr vibrates with his heartbeat and sends a thrill up his spine that makes Lance laugh out loud. It’s the same sensation he’s felt every time he touched the name on his right wrist. He feels safe, he feels content and happy and it’s all because of her.

Kind of hilarious that it took running away with his antagonist to find his soulmate, but hey, life’s weird.

Also kind of hilarious that his soulmate is a giant alien mecha sentient lion. But it’s been less than 5 minutes and Lance knows he never wants to be without Blue again.

Time goes on.Lance and Blue find out that the War on Lance’s wrist wasn’t figurative at all.

2) This isn’t necessarily Switch-the-Beat, but could be in the same au

He has both his arms, but they're not the same. One is flesh and blood, strong and still has the indecipherable alien script on the thin skin of his inner wrist.

The other is metal. It glows and whirrs and it's so heavy that at points Shiro's sure he can feel it's anchors deep in his tissue pulling free.

It doesn't have a name on it.

Shiro's looked at his wrists enough to memorize each letter and flow of script, every little curve or change in the thickness of the line. He used to know the names off by heart, would unconsciously scan any list of names he ran across to see if one matched his wrists.

He can't remember the missing name. Amongst all the things that he's lost, of all the things integral to him, he's lost that name.

But he has the other one. The one that for years he's been sure was just some foreign language-- not that he’d been able to find out which language it was just yet. But he still has this name.

The universe gives and takes, energy is neither created nor destroyed, etcetera etcetera.

Shiro wants to believe that after what he must have gone through-- that the name he still has is his soulmates. He lost his enemy’s name. He doesn't want to think about the alternative.

It's a sense of purpose, and relief, when the Black Lion prowls into his mind and shares its skills with him-- translation being amongst the most useful-- that Shiro watches the abstract shapes on his wrist go from scribbles to readable script.

It's been an alien language all along. And it makes him want to cheer in relief. He's here, in the outermost edge of the universe and so far from home, and he's going to meet an alien that's going to change his life. That has to be a good sign. He's here for a reason, and he's going to meet his soulmate soon.

He traces the lines, committing this to memory. He won't lose this name, he promises himself. Whatever happens, he won't lose this.

Haggar, his wrist says.

He can't wait to see what their future holds.

3) This is crack and redic and based entirely off of This Au (click for links)

The doorbell rings, which startles Shiro enough to drop the box he was carrying up the stairs. Someone must have seen the moving truck outside, and so the neighbours are probably dropping in to meet him. It should only be a few days of attention at most. He can manage that.

He hears Haggar messing around downstairs in the kitchen and decides to run for the door before she can get there.

“Stay there!” he tells her, and hopes that for once she’ll listen. He has to avoid coming off as really weird as long as he can, and talking to the hallucination that won’t stop eating his food will probably do that.

He opens the door, “Hi can I help--” and a wrist is thrust into his face so quickly that Shiro reels back to avoid getting hit in the nose. He keeps the door opened only enough to stick his head out, and takes in the incredulous scene unfolding on his doorstep.

“Are you Shirogane? I’m warning you-- stay away from my family!” the strange woman shouts.

Shiro’s braced for an attack still, and unsure of what she’s getting at. What attack? Did Haggar do something? Shiro’s not entirely sure how she’s affecting the world just yet-- is he losing time and doing things while thinking it’s her, or is he hallucinating her influence in the world too? He hopes it’s the latter. He doesn’t want to move again.

The woman hasn’t stopped shouting, and in fact, she seems to be getting angrier, “This is a safe neighbourhood and my kids will not be threatened by the likes of you! I don’t care what you think, I will not roll over and let you ruin my life! Hello? Are you even listening to me? Pay attention when someone is talking to you!”

She pauses to take a breath, clearly running on a lot of pent-up rage. Shiro considers just closing the door.

“Is… is something wrong? I don’t know why you’re yelling,” Shiro says slowly.

She shoves her wrist in his face again and Shiro grabs her forearm but has to catch himself before he breaks it on instinct. He moved to this white picket fence neighbourhood for quiet. So that he could unlearn all those habits from the war.

The woman is shocked into silence just long enough that Shiro can read the shaky script on her inner wrist.

Shirogane.

Oh, fuck. If she’s the missing name on his right arm, then he’d much rather have Haggar as his soulmate. At least she’s dead and can only haunt him. Also she doesn’t scream.

Which the woman begins doing. Again.

But instead it’s a panicked terror screaming and Shiro realizes he’s still holding her firmly by the wrist. This is not how one keeps a low profile.

“Stop it!” He snaps as he lets her go, still defensive but more confused than anything, “yeah, that’s my name, what are you talking about?”

“You’re my enemy,” she hisses the word like venom, and rubs her wrist like he did break it. He didn’t, Shiro’s sure. He’s pretty sure.

“I’ve never met you,” Shiro says. Besides, he still has Haggar’s name on his wrist. And despite his wish a few minutes ago, he knows that she’s his enemy.

“It doesn’t matter, I know you moved here to find me. And like I said, I have a happy life with my husband and my children here and I will not let you ruin that! No matter what kind of awful person you are, you just remember that I am a community leader and head of the PTA and if you dare try to ruin my life, I can make your life a living hell.”

Shiro’s been in this home for all of three hours. Holy shit. He can’t believe this. He can’t wait to tell someone about this experience. He’s someone’s enemy, and he’s literally done nothing.

The funny thing is, he’s absolutely ready to start fucking with her now. She’s probably the worst person he’s ever met. He’s going to have to call Lance or Pidge for some great prank ideas.

“What’s your name?” he interrupts her.

“As if you don’t know,” she says, and folds her arms across her chest. Her hair is cut in an angular bob. She’s short, yoga-skinny, and wearing what look like some very expensive clothes. She’s the least threatening threat he’s ever experienced.

Shiro decides to step outside, standing up to his full height where he does indeed tower over her. He gives a wave with his prosthetic. “I’ve only got one name, lost the other one,” he jokes. But he hopes she feels some sort of guilt and pity that most people get when they see his prosthetic. Hopefully she’ll make a tactless retreat after yelling at a disabled guy.

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have been so reckless with your life and you wouldn’t be in this situation,” she says, gesturing at his arm.

Reckless?

What a piece of work this one is.

“Look, ma’am,” Shiro tries for calm one last time--

“It’s Helen,” she snarls and he half expects her to flicker a forked tongue at him.

“Helen” Shiro repeats in the same tone because he’s spent way too much time around teenagers to not know how to really mock someone, “I don’t care who you are, or what your family does. I’m trying to move in, and I want nothing to do with you. Don’t talk to me again, okay?”

“Excuse me?” she demands, “you take that tone with me?”

“What is going on out there?” Haggar shouts and Shiro loses his drive to fight instantly. He needs to get away before he starts to look crazy-- even crazier than Helen.

“Bye,” Shiro says, and all but flees inside.

Haggar’s munching on a bowl of cereal and wearing his clothes and his bathrobe because she’s cold all the time. It’s still weird looking at this human version of her that his brain cooked up. But he hopes it’s a sign, that he’s not imagining her Galra form.

“Who was that?” Haggar asks around a mouthful of fruit loops.

“Helen,” Shiro groans, “apparently she’s my enemy.”

“We should kill her,” Haggar says, “I don’t like her.”

Shiro can’t help but laugh. This is much more familiar territory. It’s probably worrisome that he’s calmed down by the voice in his head telling him to kill people, rather than being freaked out by it.

“I’m not in your head,” Haggar says for the hundredth time. She’s talking around the spoon in her mouth. Shiro’s gaze is momentarily drawn to the pale Takashi on the dark skin of her wrist.

“I don’t believe you,” he says for the hundredth-and-one-th time, and then frowns, “wait-- is that the last of the cereal?”