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dragonrider9905 · 2 years ago

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Sunset in Your Eyes, Sunrise of My Life

Thank you so much for the prompt @photogirl894!!! I really like how this one turned out, and I hope you do too!!!! This piece is a participation in @clonexreaderbingo!

Bingo card square: sunset

Being a bartender at 79’s had its perks and its downsides.

One of the perks was serving a very lively and lovely crowd: the clones.

One of the downsides: you had strange, strange late hours that threw you for a loup.

But you loved it.

Tonight was one of those nights that got your blood boiling a good kind of heat. You were laughing and dancing around the bar table filling orders, flirting and socializing with what came to be your favorite group of human beings. These clones were (almost) always respectful, kind, considerate, brave, modest, funny…there were a few bad apples in the bunch but overall, whenever you worked this job, you always had fun, and left with a glow in your face and warm feeling in your heart.

If only you didn’t have to work your other job to make this one possible!

The lights were low and the music was high, loudly beating out a jukebox favorite. The bar was busy, just how you liked it. The dance floor was filled and you saw many happy faces, as there ought to be. All of your favorite people were gathered for a relaxing evening where they could forget the war for a little while. All your favorite colors were in town. The grays, the golds, the blues, and finally a few teals showed up. A familiar kind face finally making his way to his normal spot with the same kind, tired smile.

“Hey Howzer, how’s it going? Your normal?”

You knew most of the regulars and their orders by now. Howzer was more than a regular to you though. He’d become sort of a brother, watching out for you when the boys would get rowdy or when nat borns would get disrespectful. He was quiet at first but you brought out the playful side of him. You always looked forward to seeing him and worried when he was deployed, whether or not he’d come back.

“Yeah, you know, not bad. Better now that I’ve seen you.”

“Thanks hun. Here you go. You know, there is more to life than Mailoorun cocktails? Try branching out a little, it’s on me. If you hate it, you can get your next regular free.”

Howzer laughed, “No thanks, I’m good. I like the fruity stuff. It is one of two reasons I come back here.” He held up his hand and coughed into it while saying “I’ve got to make sure my vod’ika stays out of trouble.”

You gave him a look and he returned it with a goofy grin.

“Plus, I don’t want to take money from your hard earned tips…I know you don’t earn a lot working here.”

“You’re worth it though.”

Howzer’s face softened a little. “Thanks…but all the same. The fruity stuff, vod’ika. Tell me how you’ve been?”

For a good half hour, you went between chatting Howzer’s ear off, ragaling him with tales of work, 79s, school and your family life. Howzer returned with stories of his brothers. Never of the war, always jocular tales of the boys.

During this time, clones would come and go but out of the corner of your eye, you saw a pair of clones who always made you smile. They entered not too long ago but were engaged in conversation so you hadn’t approached them yet. The one with the five tattooed on his forehead had his arm slung over his buddy with a hand painted on his chest piece. Quite obviously annoying his brother by the look on his face. Howzer grinned a knowing grin at you and eyed the same pair, raising his eyebrows a little.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything! He’s a good lad, and he’s obviously nervous. Why don’t you talk to him?”

You chuckled. “I know who he is, Howzer. He’s one of my favorites. I’m going to do more than that. I’m going to flirt with him first; let’s see how red we can make his face.”

“You’re horrible, but I love you for it.”

“Aw shucks, thanks!”

You made your way down the bar, talking and pouring more drinks. The closer you got, the more you caught of their conversation.

“You should talk to her.”

“No! She is too good for someone like me. I’ll just bongle everything up.”

“You’re so sweet to her; you’ve got a chance. This isn’t your first time talking to her. You should just ask her out.”

“No way; that could be taken as disrespectful. She deserves all the respect in the galaxy, and if I mess it up, she wouldn’t speak to me again—wouldn't blame her for it either.”

“Hey, she’s coming over this way. I’m going to call her over and you’re going to talk to her.”

“Don’t you dare! Fives!”

“Hey miss! We’d like to order here, please? When you have a moment?”

“Fives you little—” His angry expression cut short when you walked up to the pair with a smile, shocked nervousness and wide eyes replacing the annoyed look of before.

“Uh, hi, yes, we’re thirsty, water please? Water good. You’re pretty. Good. You’re good at this, and kind. Thank you for asking.”

“This is a bar, you can have something else besides water.” You leaned over the counter and practically put your face next to his, and watched the clone blush at your closeness to him. That, or from his embarrassment. “We do have good Corellian whisky. Might be a good change from your normal, Galaxy Explosion.”

“Uhhhh, yes please, Ma’am. Sounds good. Wait, you remember what I drink?”

You smiled, “I remember a lot about you, Echo.”

He froze, and stared into your eyes, mouth agape. You could almost see the cogs turning in his brain, trying to figure out what you meant by that.

“Here I was hoping you’d say the same thing, love. I’ll be right back with your drink. What’ll you have, Fives?” You leaned over to give the extroverted brother some attention.

“Give me the same as him!”

“You got it!”

You chuckled, then went to fetch the glasses and materials needed to concoct the specialty. You saw Echo let out a big breath then shove his brother next to him.

“Fives, I swear…” but you interrupted again, coming with a few bottles.

“Have you ever seen one made? Watch this.”

You started flipping the bottles, tossing them in the air then catching and pouring them. You lit the top with a blue flame then served him, smirking satisfied at his gawk.

“You are…that was perfect. Thank you.”

“You haven’t tried it yet, hun. Wait til you do, then compliment the work.”

He eyed the glass suspiciously, turning it around in his hands.

“I didn’t poison it if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Echo looked up aghast. “I…it’s not that. How do I drink something flaming?”

“You blow it out first.”

“Oh.”

Still not looking convinced, he blew out the flame and brought the cup to his lips, face still scrunched up suspiciously.

Echo was a person of habit, you knew exactly why he was reacting this way but it was too good not to tease him about it. You snickered and he raised his eyebrows.

“I’ll get you your regular, hun. I can tell you don’t like it!”

“No! It is really good…”

“But it isn’t what you wanted. I’ll be right back.”

While you were mixing Echo’s new drink you saw Echo run a hand through his hair.

“I’m digging my own grave right now, Fives. I just insulted her and I have no idea how I did that. Just bury me now.” Echo clunked his head on the counter.

“Eh, I don’t think she took it as an insult…hey, she’s coming back.”

Echo shot straight back up.

“I like what you made, but thank you for this. I’m sorry I was rude…”

“Echo.” You broke him off rather sharply. “You weren’t rude. I’ve seen you in here a bunch of times and this is what you get because you like it. If you weren’t in the mood for the other one, I wasn’t going to make you drink it, even if it was good.”

Echo let out a breath.

“Still…”

“No buts or stills. Tell me how you’ve been, love.”

Echo colored a little bit at the nickname and slowly the shyness melted away as his slow, calculated speech started to turn playful and quick, filled with fun and smiles. It did not escape your notice that Fives was being uncharacteristically quiet, signature smirk ever present on his face.

The nervousness was replaced with a happy glow, and Echo soon started to smile at your special nickname for him. Throughout the night, you bounced between the customers but always came back to him to finish one of the many conversations you’d started. Howzer just smiled. He liked where this was going.

“That’s why I like sunsets…” you concluded. “They say everything is going to be ok. A sort of promise, you know? After a long day, they offer some peace, some serenity. A farewell to the day, even if it was bad, there is still something to be grateful for. I can’t even describe how I feel when I watch one…each is so different! If I miss a sunset, I try to watch the sunrise. It either starts my day out right, or ends my day well.”

“Good luck seeing anything on this polluted planet. I swear it just turns from night to day. Nothing like what I’ve seen on other planets.” Echo scoffed.

“Coruscant has some of the most lovely sunrises and sunsets, if you know where to look for them.” You placed your hands on your hips, raising your chin challengingly, “You can’t see them most places but believe me, it is worth it—if you know the right spot to sit. I know some secret places that would rival some of your ‘oh so great’ sightings.”

“If you say so.”

“Say, I get off at 400 hours. Want to head back around six thirty and we can watch the sunrise together?”

“Or how about I just stay here, you know, to protect you. Fight off all those unrulies for you. Make sure you’re alright. Some sketchy people can sit in a bar late at night.”

“I’ve survived before you came along, Echo.” You smirked but your eyes betrayed their sparkle. “But if you wanted to stick around, I wouldn’t protest. And by unruly, you mean Fives right?”

Echo’s lips pulled up into a smile.

“Of course.”

“Hey! I heard that!”

“Then it’s a date!” You said excitedly.

“A…date? Yes! A date!” Echo looked flustered. You could only snicker, it was so cute.

The night went quickly and slowly the patrons trickled out of the bar. You said goodnight to Howzer, Fives took his leave, then it was just you and Echo alone in the empty room.

“I have to clean up, then I’ll be ready.”

“I can help.”

“No, Echo, just sit and enjoy yourself…”

“No, I’m helping. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can go on our ‘date’.” Scooping up a bunch of glasses and heading for the kitchen, the discussion was ended. You could only shake your head with a touched smile.

— — —

You and Echo climbed to one of the highest buildings of the city. The world below buzzed with activity but up here, it was only a distant noise. The lights of the city were glowing softly, like a blazing campfire.

You took a seat on the platform and patted the spot next to you.

“You’ll have to admit I’m right.” You said a little winded. “This spot is the best on Coruscant.”

“Ok, you win with this one. No matter what the sky looks like, this is pretty amazing.”

You smirked a little and looked out towards the east, waiting for the glorious gold you knew was to come. Echo fiddled with his hands a little trying to form his thoughts. Finally, he came up with something.

“You know, what I wanted to say was that you’re pretty, and kind. Still stands. Would you go out with me?”

You tore your eyes away from the horizon.

“What?” Had you heard him right?

Echo turned a deep red. “I said, uh, would you go out with me, on a date—a real one where I can treat you special?”

Your confusion turned to pure bliss. “Echo, I couldn’t love anything more.”

You looked into his eyes and noticed they were their own sunset. The amber color threw off golds and rich browns as the reddened sun flashed across them. There was a firmness, a fierceness, enflamed there yet a kindness that ruled them all.

His eyes held all the power of the setting sun and you knew you no longer would have to wait until the end of the day for serenity and peace and certainty. All you’d have to do was look deeply into the eyes of the man before you.

“Say, we come back here and watch the sunset tonight? I’ll pack some food, and maybe some music, if you want to dance that is.”

“Echo! You’re such a romantic!”

“You have no idea.”

In that moment, the sun broke from its cage in the clouds, spilling over the planet, blanketing it in a sheet of gold. Echo gasped, spellbound.

“Ok, you were right. This is…amazing.”

You chuckled but he interrupted you.

“But I’ll just have to one up you by bringing you to Kamino to watch a sunset or sunrise there. They’re rare but nothing can beat a sunset at home.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

You watched every sunset you could together after that. Your relationship grew with every rising sun. When you’d work late, Echo would stop by and watch the sunrise with you. If you had school and worked your other job, he’d join you for the sunset. You continued your routine when Echo was deployed but it wasn’t the same. It was always so much more special with him. Every once and a while, he’d comm you but nothing compared to having him sit in silence next to you while you watched the sky transform before you.

When he was finally home, you’d spend the evenings chatting away. Tonight was different though. An unknown heaviness weighed on your heart. You couldn’t explain it, or put your finger on it. It just sat there, its presence demanding to be known. Echo had been back for nearly two weeks and you soaked up every minute you could together before he was deployed again tomorrow. You’ve been through this so many times. Why was this different?

“Echo, I have a strange feeling about this one. I wish I could tell you not to go, but I know I can’t…just…be careful, ok?”

Echo knew he hadn’t told you much about this mission. It was dangerous and he didn’t want you to worry. But he was an ARC. This is what he was made for. Besides, when he got back from the Citadel mission, he’d have a good story to share with you. But all he could say was:

“I promise.”

You stayed silent after that, snuggling up a little closer to him, as if it would be the last time, and watched the world fall to night.

— — —

To say you were in a foul mood was an understatement.

School sucked today, your other boss was being a jerk for no good reason, and you just mourned the first year anniversary of Echo being killed.

If another person tried to make a pass or ask you out, their hand was going to be shattered today. If another kriffer told you to move on because enough time had passed, you were going to kriffing break something, like their face.

You weren’t nearly ready for that.

No one could replace your Echo.

It had been so long but at the same time, it felt like only yesterday you’d seen Fives walk in, dressed in full uniform before the bar closed, face more serious than you’d ever seen it, and you knew. He didn’t have to say anything, you just knew. And you were grateful for him coming at the end of your shift because you wouldn’t have been able to make it through that day if he’d come sooner.

You remembered how Fives helped you close up, took you home, and took care of you in the following days. You helped each other heal. You’d always been friends, but you became good friends after that. A knowing smile here, a remembrance there, a slight “he woulda loved this” “I know.” Shared between the two of you.

But then Fives was ripped from you as well.

Lots of men never came back. It always saddened you, but it never weighed as heavily as it did now after Echo’s demise. Every death stung so much more.

“Don’t you ever do that to me.” You’d told Howzer. “Or I’ll kill you.”

He’d smile sadly at you and make the promise he knew he didn’t have the power to keep. You knew he couldn’t keep it because life had different ideas in place. You just needed to hear him say it, promise that he’d do anything he could to survive. He came less and less to 79’s due to his new outpost on Ryloth but you kept in contact through holocalls. It became your only reassurance he was alive, as his barstool sat abandoned more and more frequently, only to be taken up by some stranger instead.

Heart and feet heavy, you strolled into work to prep the bar for an evening of “fun”. You had an hour to sulk in before you had to plaster a smile on your face. Clean the counter, set the glasses, cool some of the products, prep the pretzels, then give yourself five minutes to rehearse a convincing laugh.

The minutes went by quickly, and you were lagging. Becoming more exhausted, earlier than normal. You knew why, but that didn’t help. It only made it harder. Bracing your palms in a tight grip on the back counter, stepping back and bending at your middle, you leaned over hoping that would relax you and help the air into your lungs.

You just needed a few minutes, then you’d look like you were ok, even though you weren’t.

You heard a throat clear behind you, and you could tell whatever the man had to say was going to be a jest or a horrible flirt. To be frank, you weren’t in the mood. You opened your mouth to say so in the most (un)kind way you could think of so the kriffer would back off and leave you alone (plus you weren’t even open yet, what the heck) when you heard:

“Uh, hi, yes, we’re thirsty, water please? Water good.” The man had to stop and compose his voice before continuing. Laughs and emotion hidden under the surface. “You’re pretty. Good. You’re good at this, and kind. Thank you for asking. But what I wanted to say was that you’re pretty, and kind. Still stands. Would you go out with me?”

You froze. Not daring to move.

“Hm, I remember the service being better here before I died. Perhaps my memory is wrong. Thought she’d at least glare at me for how bad that was. Rude really.”

You gasped and gripped the shelf behind you until your knuckles lost feeling, not daring to look back. You could feel your lungs protest, claiming an unusual rhythm on its own, body shaking, eyes stinging.

It couldn’t be.

“Echo?”

It was barely a whisper but the voice heard you, and responded with a chuckle.

“How could you tell, was it the corny compliment?”

The voice was closer; it was no longer behind the bar but directly behind you. You could feel his breath tickle your ear and push your hairs to your cheek.

“I-is this real?”

You couldn’t look up. If you did, he’d surely vanish. After all, that’s how dreams worked. If you didn’t look up, the longer he’d stay.

Instead of an answer, you felt an arm snake around your waist, your back flushing against his chest. Instinctively, you closed your eyes and grabbed the arm wrapped around you. You couldn’t look, if you did, you’d wake up. This brief moment of happiness would be over.

“I hope so. Because if this isn’t, I’m not leaving this dream.”

“...that sounds like something someone would say in a dream…”

The phantom of Echo, with very real arms, huffed.

“Or perhaps it is something half romantic, half stupid, only Echo could come up with.”

“Now I like that a lot better.” His voice sounded so jocular.

“Echo…?”

“Hm?”

His face was in your hair now. You could feel him nuzzling his way to the crook of your neck so he could rest his chin there.

“You were dead. You…”

All strength left your body as the shock wore off. Tears fell unchecked and unstoppable. Your legs gave beneath you. If it wasn’t for Echo holding you, you would have fallen. Echo held tight but guided you to the floor so you could rest. He didn’t move from behind you yet, but waited for you to turn around when you were ready.

Sobs wrecked your body, so Echo decided to sway you back and forth in hopes it would comfort you. Assuring words easily came. When none seemed to be working he tried something else.

“Death cannot stop true love; it can only delay it for a little while.”

Your gasp turned into a snort and airy laugh, his words having the desired effect at last.

“We’ve watched too many old holofilms together. They give you the worst ideas. You really had to say that, didn’t you.”

You could feel him grin against your cheek.

“That was pretty good, you have to admit. I planned that one out for a while. Never thought I’d be able to use it, then I couldn’t pass up the opportunity.”

“Oh, did you now?”

You finally shifted in a half circle to look at him directly. What you saw was not what you were expecting. One hand was gone, replaced by a metal scomp, his head where his goofy hair used to be, had ports, and his cheeks were hollow, face pale. A look of all the suffering he endured plastered on his face.

But those eyes…they were the same. You would know them anywhere.

You reached your hand up to stroke his cheek.

��I know I look different…” a shadow of doubt clouded his face. He looked away trying to find words. Your hand gently guided his gaze back to you.

“Echo I couldn’t care less what you look like…You’re here. You’re back…”

Another wave of emotion crashed against you. Heaving, you hid your face in the crook of his neck.

“I’m just so glad you’re back. I missed you so much.”

“Cyar’ika, we’ve….got a lot to talk about. Can we talk after work tonight?”

“Echo, you’ve been dead for a year. We can talk right now.”

You glanced at the clock. “I’ll get Ted to cover my shift, we’ll still have time to catch the sunset.”

— — —

You jostled the crate in your arms. It was heavy, but you were used to hard work.

You heaved and pulled it closer to you, grunting under its weight. Sure you were used to it, but this kind of work also used to be more pleasant.

This bar wasn’t as good as the one you were used to, but it was a job, you got paid, and it was away from all the ‘noise’ in the galaxy. You knew it wouldn’t last forever but for right now, it was what you needed.

After the Empire rose and the Jedi Order fell, you fled Coruscant and ended up here of all places.

By here, you meant the backwater, sketchy, seedy, good for nothing planet of Ord Mantell in a bar owned by someone of similar repute. She went by the name ‘Cid’ but some part of you doubted that was her real name. You couldn’t help but to be suspicious. You trusted less than no one here.

Nevertheless, she hired you and didn’t ask questions (too many questions); just how you wanted it.

You’d lost Echo one more time…Your heart was so sore but numb by now; After what you’d seen what had happened to the clones, how they all weirdly changed from robust to robotic, you never reached out. Echo never reached out either…from what you knew. You changed your comm channel a long time ago. If he’d suddenly decided after a month of nothing to contact you, you wouldn’t know it.

Your arms started to ache. Cid had you running all sorts of errands that weren’t technically your job, which made you salty, but you couldn’t afford to lose this job. Money was a rare thing in the galaxy and earning it honestly, was even rarer.

A sigh escaped your mouth—you couldn’t decide which was more rare, money or love. You’d gained a beautiful man who loved you, only to lose him. He came back, only to disappear again without a trace. Was he dead? Did he just forget about you? What had happened? You didn’t get it.

Maybe we just weren’t meant to be. Perhaps our sunrise was supposed to melt into something else. Maybe our relationship has had its final sunset.

Thinking like that wasn’t going to help anyone. Shaking your head, you tried to rid yourself of the thoughts, but they’d always haunt the back of your mind and you knew it. You had other things to worry about so you tried to focus on that.

Cid’s ‘special team’ was going to be in today. Apparently they’d run a few high risk jobs with very successful outcomes—a very rare feat for some of the rumors you heard about the jobs. It was unfair you hadn’t met them yet. It honestly felt like Cid was keeping you from them on purpose and you didn’t like it. It wouldn’t be in your interests naturally. If she didn’t want you to know them, you’d better introduce yourself soon, you thought.

The door slid open quietly. Cid’s gravelly voice already talking at a loud volume.

“My bartender is out. Should be back with the stuff you boys want soon. Why don’t you wait in my office while I’ll settle stuff with her before we discuss your next job.”

Yeah, yeah, whatever Cid, I’m moving. I’m moving.

You weren’t supposed to be back for another half hour…you’d gotten back early. Perhaps this was a good time to make an entrance, bother the cranky old lady by not only showing her your efficiency (not that that would do anything) but you’d drop in on the team. The look on her face would be worth it.

But when you stepped fully inside, your body locked up. Your fingers turned cold and became rigid, but in their rigidity, they lost all their strength.

The box crashed on the floor with a bang, undoubtedly cracking the crate. You heard the bottles clank, probably broke a few. Your feet started to get wet, so that was a good guess.

But you couldn’t look down. Your eyes were locked on the scene in front of you.

Four men and a little girl were crowded around your counter, now all turned to look where the noise came from. A familiar set of amber eyes rested on you, first with surprise and shock, then excitement and love.

“E-Echo? I-is that you?”

Your throat tightened and tears sprung to your eyes without permission, breathing becoming irregular, air demanding to be let in in heaves.

The clone in question broke from his brothers and made his way to where you stood, cautious but quickly.

“Echo!” You cried again, breaking out of your stupor and running towards him. “Echo! You’re ok? You’re alive? Echo…”

Echo scooped you up in his arms and held you tightly.

“Oh cyar’ika…I was so worried about you.” He cradled you against him, stroking your hair and rubbing soothing circles on your back to abate your sobbing, “I tried to call you but there was never an answer. I was so worried. I couldn’t at first because it was too risky. It made me sick but I had to protect you. Not hearing from you…I thought something bad happened…”

When your cries finally overpowered his own worries, he tried to calm you by abating those. “I’m here; I’m fine. I’ve got a sister now, I’d like you to meet her. She’s great and she’ll love you. I’m ok, I’m really here…It’s over now…I’m never leaving you again.”

You had to laugh. Of all the places, this is where you’d meet him?

“So your Cid’s special team?”

He chuckled. “So your her amazing bartender who always disappears when we show up? All this time you’ve fetched us things and I didn’t even know it was you…”

Your mind ran through all the errands Cid had you do at the request of her ‘special team’ getting parts or food and whatnot.

“Still looking out for me, even if you didn’t know it.”

You bit your lip. Did Cid intentionally keep you apart? Anger started to course through you, but you’d never said anything to her about Echo. Had Echo said something to her?

Echo watched the different emotions cross your face. He knew you must have questions and there would be time for answers later. Now he only wanted one thing.

He leaned down, lips grazing yours as he whispered:

“Would you like to watch the sunset? It's been so long…”

You prayed there’d be more sunsets between you. You hoped beyond hope that this sunrise wouldn’t end. That you could sit together side by side and watch the days melt away together and weave a glorious glow of memory. The only sunset you needed was right before you, in Echo’s eyes.

#the bad batch #tbb echo #clone x reader #clone x you #echo x you #echo x reader #fives clone wars #echo #clone trooper x reader #echo the bad batch #echo the clone wars #howzer #captain howzer #CFB2023

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everythingseasoning · 1 year ago

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Attack on Titan fan made content is making my heart drop & making me fucking sob & cry. Eren my heart breaks for you, always. Your beliefs were so impassioned and valid. You deserved freedom. You did simply because you were born…💚🫂 Mikasa, you did the right thing (was so difficult and I’m proud of you), and I hope you lived happily like Eren wanted. Armin, choose me. Love me. Pick ME. (I’m gonna pretend ArminxAnnie isn’t canon because I’m delusional and Armin is so M-boyfriend coded, shoo, Annie, shoo). Isayama’s characters feel SO REAL and I respect that madly.

ALSO LOOK AT THIS TINY MOODBOARD IT’S SO AOT SEASON 1-3 CODED 🥺💔❗️💛💛💛 Eren deserved peace oh my fuckkkking god. Yellow pics & inspo from @xurooow

I’m heavily considering picking up AOT again… and finishing it! Which kinda sucks cause I just got the released manga’s of Jujutsu Kaisen SO LIKE — I’m torn between which one to invest in right now.

I feel like Attack on Titan is much more relevant, considering what’s happening in Gaza. Being immersed in AOT will keep me grounded in the effect and horrors of war, which might be overwhelming but also useful because it means I’ll be more likely to be thinking about Palestine more often than if I was reading JJK manga instead.

Plus I miss all my AOT buddies :’( YALL ily & miss u pls interact with me !! gonna tag a few peeps I’ve chatted with before & remember & miss <3 @oxygenbefore1775 @e-skyylite @notafightr @romantichomicide95 @averysmolbear @ichijager13 (I used to be mal-writes!) & shout out to my most best gal @raenacreates <3 thank u for being a good person and for existing and bean u ilysm everyone pls check out her skilled art PLS

Ya girl hasn’t even watched season 4 of Attack on Titan AND YET I’M WALLOWING from all the Instagram reels and brief AOT thoughts I hear. (Haven’t watched s4 & yet I know a lot of spoilers unfortunately… and I hadn’t watched s4 cause I saw Eren’s depressed face and it made me wanna cry and I couldn’t handle that depression).

^ second set of photos is me and my love for eren

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cactusspatz · 9 months ago

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February recs

Trying something new this month! I've got five top recs below (most of which are quite long, sorry not sorry), but in an attempt to keep my Pinboard more contemporary I've put all of my January bookmarks up at this tag if you're looking for more to read.

Below are recs for: 9-1-1, The Untamed, Game of Thrones, and The Hobbit. And at Pinboard are more recs for 9-1-1, The Untamed, & The Hobbit, plus Batman, Goblin Emperor, KJ Charles, and Star Wars!

Hot Ghost Problems by ebjameston (9-1-1, Buck/Eddie)

The ghost would prefer to go by Buck, if Eddie wouldn’t mind. Eddie is the newest firefighter at the 118. Buck is the ghost haunting the 118. Unfortunately for both of them, Eddie's also a witch and needs to put Buck's spirit to rest, because that's what witches do. Turns out, Buck's spirit? Super not interested in being put to rest. Very interested, however, in flirting with Firefighter Diaz, who is just trying to survive his candidate year. (Also turns out, Buck? Super not dead.)

I adore this trope, but this one's got great worldbuilding around the magic, and the author is skilled at combining drama and humor. So you've got the emotions and pining but also Eddie's sisters roasting him via group chat, and so on.

Batting a Buck & Change by Daisies_and_Briars (9-1-1, Buck/Eddie)

“Do you remember that shift where Buck was off and Hen was on mandatory relaxation, and they both got drunk in Hen’s kitchen in the middle of the afternoon while we had to resuscitate a canine?” Eddie nods vigorously. “Oh, Hoover. I remember Hoover.” “Why have we never been drunk during a dog resuscitation, Eddie? Have you thought about that?” “Well now I am.” “We should call them and let them know that we can have fun on Dads’ Night Out.” Nothing could go wrong. OR: Eddie and Chim embark on a “Dad’s night out” to watch baseball at a sports bar, and after a few too many, Eddie accidentally lets his feelings for Buck slip.

I am weak for shenanigans and Chimney's keeping-secrets fail - one of his panicked attempts to escape a conversation in this is HYSTERICAL, you'll know the one - and this fic has a top-tier assortment of both, plus a lovely Eddie-Chim friendship/baseball buddies/mutual dad admiration society.

The Pack Survives by astolat (GoT, Robb/everybody)

There is a land of the living and a land of the dead and the bridge is love, the only survival. —Thornton Wilder

Sprawling AU where the South makes peace and Robb lives - but ends up having to deal with internal rebellion, polyamory negotiation, dragons, and of course, a terrifying army of the dead. Features Robb growing up and making fewer and better mistakes in addition to his usual tactical genius, plus a fantastically sharp Sansa.

Thicker Than Water by athena_crikey (The Untamed, Wangxian)

The Lans were one of the founding families of the Vancouver Guild; part of their legacy is to maintain their place in it for the benefit of all. Cultivation is important, essential, serious. In the distance, something squeaks. A disaster, is Lan Zhan’s first impression as the bike squeals to a halt on the far side of Song Lan’s car. The man riding it – and he’s tall, and lanky, and sure-footed – hops off and locks it to the car’s back door. The back door of a police vehicle. He pulls his helmet off to reveal long, sweat-soaked hair with a shaggy undercut, bright grey eyes, and a smile that launches like an arrow straight through Lan Zhan’s chest. No, he thinks, watching this trainwreck of a man shimmy between the narrow space dividing Song Lan’s back bumper and the next car’s hood like he’s doing some kind of dance step. Absolutely not.

Excellent modern-with-cultivation AU with a gorgeously written Lan Zhan POV - both in terms of the prose and his deep-seated trauma that bubbles up along the way.

A Passion For Mushrooms by Chrononautical (The Hobbit, Bilbo/Thorin)

There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.

AKA the one with the mushroom mine, more feelings about guilds than I ever imagined having, and some epic cultural misunderstandings (both romantic and otherwise). I'm very much showing up to this widely recced story 6 years late with Starbucks, but it's got fantastic worldbuilding, humor, and romance.

Enjoy the reads! I always like it when people tell me which ones they liked so feel free 😘

#monthly recs #fic rec #9-1-1 #buck/eddie #buddie #911 #the untamed #wangxian #the hobbit #bilbo/thorin #game of thrones

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bookgeekgrrl · 7 months ago

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My media this week (7-13 Apr 2024)

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

🥰 If This Is As Far As We Go (BeauRadley) - 124K, stucky no-powers AU - after a year of being phenomenal hookup buddies, bucky ends their arrangement & throws steve into a tailspin - slow burn, angsty, oblivious steve slowly realizing his true feelings, good supporting cast

😊 Bunt! Striking Out on Financial Aid (Ngozi Ukazu & Mad Rupert) - cute graphic novel about art students forming a softball team to exploit a financial aid loophole

😍 Death in the Spires (KJ Charles, author; Tom Lawrence, narrator) - historical murder mystery set in 1905 Oxford - another KJC absolute banger: incredible sense of place, fantastic characters, perfectly done 'whodunnit' tension and a HIGHLY SATISFACTORY resolution. Loved every word

💖💖 +76K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

The Man, the Myth, the Legend (sparklyslug) - Check Please!: gen, 2.9K - Holster's beatboxing skills brings all the a capella groups to the Haus - a short, fun, funny, outsider POV fic

Say it louder for the people in the back (redhook) - MCU: shrinkyclinks, 14K - reread, forever fave - sometimes you just get a yearning to reread the best glory hole fic ever written

In Focus (sparklyslug) - Check Please!: zimbits, 6K - Jack's photography eye knows what's up before his conscious brain does

Entering Orbit (museaway) - Star Trek AOS: spirk, 30K - good post-AOS canon-divergent fic where Jim goes home to Iowa to escape the press & Spock joins him

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Hot Ones - Conan O'Brien

QI - series S, ep 13

Game Changer - s6, e5 {Bingoception}

Um, Actually - s9, e4

D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Dawn of Justice" (s21, e14)

D20: Adventuring Party - "We're Running on 200%" (s16, e14)

Death In Paradise - s11, e4-8; s12 e0-8, s13 e0-8

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Working - How to Be Both a Critic and a Creator

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #10: Of the Reaching Green

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep10 "Of the Reaching Green"

Short Wave - How Climate Change And Physics Affect Baseball

Consider This from NPR - Bad Omens Or The Cycle of Nature? How The Ancient World Viewed Eclipses

⭐ Armchair Expert - Anna Kendrick [Rerelease from 1/9/23]

Today, Explained - Is college still worth it?

The Sporkful - Jewish Food Is More Than Matzoh Balls

WikiHole - BEYONCÉ (with Zoë Chao, Nat Faxon and Poppy Liu)

⭐ All Songs Considered - Songs to make you laugh, with 'Weird Al' Yankovic

In Defense of Fandom - Season 2 Episode 2: Putting my theory to the test

Dinner’s on Me - Orville Peck

⭐ Switched on Pop - Chasing old sounds: Djo's "End of Beginning" with Joe Keery

⭐ 99% Invisible #577 - The Society of Ambiance Makers and Elegant Persons

⭐ Vibe Check - A Special Conversation with Ada Limón

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Brown Mountain Lights

Short Wave - The Order Your Siblings Were Born in May Play a Role in Identity and Sexuality

⭐ Code Switch - How Frederick Douglass launched generations of Black and Irish solidarity

⭐ Decoder Ring - Can the “Bookazine” Save Magazines?

⭐ Imaginary Worlds - African Sci-Fi Looks to a Future Climate

Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #11: Promises Promises

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep11 "Promises Promises"

What Next: TBD - Does Google Suck Now?

Short Wave - What To Know About The New EPA Rule Limiting 'Forever Chemicals' In Tap Water

Code Switch - Reflecting on the legacy of O.J. Simpson

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Atlas Obscura Live: Two Places And A Lie

Dear Prudence - I Lost a Lot of Weight and Now I Enjoy Being a Mean Girl. Help!

It's Been a Minute - The car culture wars; plus, the problem with child stars

Endless Thread - RIP Lil Miquela

Shedunnit - You Probably Imagined It!

Armchair Expert - John Cena

Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - [One Shot] A County Affair: Prologue

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Presenting Bonnie Raitt

Lowrider Oldies

Huge House Anthems

Djo

Classic Soul BBQ

A LA SALA [Khruangbin] {2024}

Presenting Khruangbin

Happy Beats

'80s One-Hit Wonders

Feel-Good Classic Rock

#sunday reading recap #bookgeekgrrl's reading habits #bookgeekgrrl's soundtracks #death in the spires #no surprise that kj charles can write the *fuck* out of a mystery #bunt! striking out on financial aid #we had a power outage so i decided to read an actual physical book!#comics & graphic novels are really the only physical books i read these days #fanfic ftw #dropout tv #got all caught up on death in paradise which i continue to watch with 50% affection 50% annoyance #mfred tipped me off to khruangbin and i love them #bonnie raitt #djo #vibe check podcast #switched on pop podcast #99% invisible podcast #decoder ring podcast #all songs considered podcast #code switch podcast #imaginary worlds podcast #armchair expert podcast #shedunnit podcast #worlds beyond number podcast #worlds beyond number: fireside podcast #wikihole podcast #endless thread podcast #it's been a minute podcast #the atlas obscura podcast #the sporkful podcast

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bengiyo · 2 years ago

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BL 2022 Review

I debated how I would go about reviewing this year, and quickly tossed out any sort of list approach. Anything like a top 10 or 20 would feel disrespectful to many of the smaller projects I watched this year that had something worthwhile to discuss. Instead, I’ve decided to talk about BL with major topics that stick with me as I review the 80+ shows I watched this year.

Reviewing the totals, as of the writing of this post I have completed, attempted, or am watching three shows from the Philippines, 49 from Thailand, five from Taiwan, 20 from South Korea, one from mainland China, 14 from Japan, and five from the West, for a total of 79 completed or watching plus 13 attempted. This included other QL projects as well. I’m reviewing a list of all BL projects from this year and the number was approximately 131. We’ve never had more choice than this, and I absolutely cannot watch this much again next year.

In this long essay, I plan to talk about what I enjoyed out of the actor chemistry this year, the ways BL has become more political, how specific and powerful coming of age narratives continue to be in genre, the ways BL used the supernatural to talk about grief and loss, the intergenerational relationships appearing in genre, the expansion of the genre into adulthood, the ongoing competition amongst college narratives, our first forays into GL, and the continued divide with the West. That’s a lot, so I’m just going to put all of that behind a cut.

First, Some Thanks

Before we get started, I want to give shoutouts to the clowns I got to know this year and who have been so much fun to engage with this year since we met on Bad Buddy. In no particular order: @shortpplfedup, @kyr-kun-chan, @liyazaki, @elnotwoods, @flukenatouch, @gilly-bean, and so many more whose handles I always forget outside of our other chats. Also a shout out to the 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us fandom. We were tiny, but I loved interacting with all of you.

The Boys Who Were Ready to Risk It All

I don’t always require the boys to have high levels of heat in my romances, but I do like believing that the characters genuinely desire each other. With Japan reentering the genre with their specific brand of reticence, and with Korea clearing the lane for their own form of clean romance*, I was not surprised to see Thailand turning up the heat in their shows to compete. All-in-all, this was an absolutely stellar year for chemistry across the board.

Starting with the Philippines, I noticed that I watched far fewer shows from them this year, but two in particular made me BELIEVE. In Gameboys 2 Elijah Canlas and Kokoy de Santos continued to display the absolutely electric and believable desire between Cairo and Gavreel. You could feel how suddenly their attraction came on, and the desperation of their quarantine bubble’s time ticking away as they tried to make being a couple work. I especially enjoyed how they explored their differing levels in sexual experience and readiness before delivering one of the better bed scenes of the year.

Meanwhile, in Sleep With Me Janine and Lovi made the first time between Harry and Luna look genuinely fun for their characters. The morning after sharing between them was one of the most comfortably intimate things I’ve seen all year.

Thailand offered up a wide array this year, from the extremely light or chaste La Cuisine and 21 Days Theory; to the passionate in Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul and Triage, to the shows-with-something-to-prove in KinnPorsche, Love in the Air, and Love Mechanics. However, I’d like to highlight how much I genuinely believed in the sexual desire from Mile and Apo in KinnPorsche, Boy and Tod in Ghost Host, Ghost House; Zee and NuNew in Cutie Pie; both Boss and Noeul, and Peat and Forth, in Love in the Air; and Mos and ISBANKY in Big Dragon. No disrespect to Yin and War, but we already knew they could bring it.

With Apo and Mile, we saw expressions of sexual acts and desire from guys in this genre that it almost feels taboo for the genre to use with its preference for top/bottom acts. “A blowjob in a helicopter” became a “jumping the shark” joke for this year for a lot of valid reasons, but Kinn and Porsche engaging in mutual masturbation and oral sex was the most refreshing part of the sexual chemistry of that show.

Tod and Boy gave such a believable show of wanting each other that it gave me flashbacks to ITSAY Episode 3. Pluem’s clear love for Kevin’s legs, and their frank conversation about sex and readiness, along with their language play about making each other equal with English pronouns, made them one of my standouts for the year. Beyond that, the way they quickly fell into casual intimacy in the latter half the show elevates it above much this year.

We knew Zee could deliver on heat from Why R U (2020) with Saint, but I was surprised by how effectively he arrived at that same level with newcomer New Chawarin. I still think about the kitchen scene where Lian lifts Nu-Kuea onto the counter to stare up at him with open love and desire as he reassures him that he is everything to him. Thai fans jokingly review bombed the kettle model used in that scene for interrupting it, that’s how intense that scene was.

As usual with MAME, Me Mind Y casts for high heat and chemistry well, and clearly has an effective process for building up physical comfort between their casts, because everyone brought so much enthusiasm to their scenes that they literally let Boss and Noeul take charge of their own bed scenes. During my watch, I praised the way they used angles to allow for some actor modesty, and it’s clear everyone had fun working with their partner. Truly something special. There is a lot to unpack with Love in the Air, and I don’t think it’s for everyone, but in terms of heat, the cast delivered.

Speaking of shows that didn’t really work for me, I wasn’t a fan of Big Dragon. That being said, ISBANKY and Mos were absolutely willing to go there physically with each other, and managed varying levels of emotion and intensity in their intimate scenes across the season. I didn’t want to end the year without acknowledging that.

As expected from Japan, they were about as chaste as I expect them to be outside of their darker BLs, but we have a few things worth mentioning. The final minutes of episode 4 of Old Fashion Cupcake was the most sexually charged interaction to come out of Japan all year, and I’m glad it happened between characters in their 30s and 40s.

I was proud of Minato’s Laundromat for delivering a satisfying pair of kisses in the finale, and confirming that the characters were finally getting it in in the final shot. We also got some solid bed work from Sora Inoue and Komiya Rio in Eternal Yesterday, but the fact that Koichi was dead probably excused that for Japan’s weird relationship with onscreen intimacy. Finally, we almost hit something really interesting about first desire in Takara-kun to Amagi-kun, but the show backed off and never went back.

While we’re talking about heat and Japan, I’m going to vent for the final time that the show was called Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But to Kiss!” and yet they didn’t give a satisfying kiss! Something MBS kept experimenting with this year was having a dubcon or asymmetric emotional kiss very early in their shows, and then not delivering on a good couple one later. It felt a bit cheap and manipulative, and I’m quite glad we didn’t get that in Eternal Yesterday nor so far (as of episode 2) of Color Candy Paradox.

With Korea, this was as @absolutebl calls it, the year Korea learned that boys can kiss. We returned to To My Star 2 this year for a very messy BL that I loved for the chemistry between the leads. Hwang Da Seul did it twice with the pair in Blueming.

Watcha showed a willingness to go there with Semantic Error with the Parks that was a real relief after the forgettable kiss in Light on Me the previous year. Strongberry proved again why they’re one of the best with both couple dynamics in Choco Milk Shake, the Cherry Blossoms After Winter pair were willing to go there, and the branded pair from Kissable Lips did it twice this year with Roommates of Poongduck 304. Holland and Han Gi Chan did a decent job in Ocean Likes Me, which was significant for me because Holland is a Known Gay. Seriously, Korea came to play this year.

*NOTE: Because of the impacts of military occupation in the first half of the 20th century, I don’t often comment on Korea’s particular brand of kissing or heat levels. If they’re still sorting out how they want to be perceived when it comes to intimacy and romance, I’ve elected to stay out of that cultural conversation and praise what I enjoy only.

BL Got Political

Across the board, it felt like BL realized it could not longer remain politically neutral and remain relevant. Almost every Thai show went out of its way to call for marriage equality this year, with the standouts being Cutie Pie for its entire focus on marriage and Big Dragon with a memorable lament about the issue. From Japan, Cherry Magic: The Movie elegantly illustrated why marriage is so important for queer couples.

I want to highlight the shows that went a bit further and explored some queer themes beyond the ongoing struggle for marriage equality in Thailand.

In 21 Days Theory, we had a side plot where Q’s gay uncle traveled with Q’s mom to talk to their father off-screen about Man’s queerness and start rebuilding their relationship.

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us focused on the way bullying and internalized homophobia leave wounds that shatter the people connected to that trauma, and became one of my standout shows of the year.

My Only 12% asked what the value was in queer media that leaves queer people feeling sad and broken at the end by questioning the role of Love of Siam (2007) in our history.

Papa & Daddy 2 challenged the artifice of rainbow capitalism and how only an acceptable brand of queerness is allowed to make money.

DNA Says I Love You explored a section of the alphabet mafia that we rarely touch upon (I don’t want to spoil it).

Both Not Me and The Eclipse challenged the structures of Thai society.

Outside of BL, Koisenu Futari did not mince words in its demands that aromantic asexual people should not be forced to form procreative units for the sake of others happiness.

We accelerated rather quickly on this, but it’s good to see that the makers within the genre know the score.

The Summer ‘22 High School Extravaganza

Starting this summer, we were treated to an amazing series of shows exploring first love in high school with Minato’s Laundromat and Takara-kun & Amagi-kun from Japan; About Youth from Taiwan; 21 Days Theory, My Only 12%, and The Eclipse from Thailand. We didn’t let up into the fall with Eternal Yesterday, and the currently-airing My School President.

There were so many shows this year, but statistically, the high school shows made up such a small portion of the genre overall. I appreciated how all of these shows tackled the commonalities of coming of age.

With Minato��s Laundromat, we got to see Shin struggle against the barriers that said he couldn’t care for someone older than him, while Minato struggled with the way he’d refused to let himself mature from his own internalized homophobia.

We got to experience first desire and intense infatuation in Takara-kun to Amagi-kun, and how you’ll need the help of your friends to manage that intensity.

We had an absolutely adorable pair of couples falling in love in About Youth in the gentlest of these shows. Truly, this is a show so enjoyable that I have watched it more than once on my own.

My Only 12% explored the reality of falling in love with your best friend, and having them finally fall back years later as you also come to terms with your own queerness.

The Eclipse tackled the institutional and long-term effects of internalized homophobia across nine different characters and how they were all impacted by it.

21 Days Theory gave us a somewhat messy process of falling in love, but gave us support from a queer elder that let the show end up being shorter.

My School President is shaping into the much-needed successor to Lovesick and is turning Bad Buddy into a blueprint.

Finally, Eternal Yesterday tackled the grief of losing your first loved one unexpectedly to tragedy with a grace I think only Japan could pull off.

Yes, there were a lot of high school shows this year, but I think they were among the best offerings this year.

Ghosts! The Supernatural as Allegory for Grief

With BL reaching for higher concepts to stand out in the crowd, supernatural stories opened up spaces for shows to explore impossible romances and grief within the genre. I wrote extensively about how Eternal Yesterday tackled this, and how it is beneficial for some viewers to unpack their feelings. Even though I didn’t enjoy all of the shows I will mention in this section, I want to reiterate that I don’t ever want creators to stop trying to reach a strong thematic core with these supernatural concepts.

Thailand displayed a specific notion about posthumous bureaucracy in both Dear Doctor, I’m Coming For Soul, Something in My Room, and Ghost Host, Ghost House. All three of these shows expressed a ton of rules about the afterlife for ghosts that I couldn’t always track, but has felt specifically Thai. Ghost House stood out for me amongst these offerings with the way Kevin continued to mourn his friend who died in the US, and how the ghost of his friend continued to protect Kevin without his knowledge.Something in My Room ended up feeling like a weaker version of He’s Coming to Me (2019).

Japan relied on magical forces to draw people together in Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But To Kiss! and Cherry Magic: The Movie. The yin and yang dynamics about unluckiness and luckiness led to a truly enjoyable pairing between the leads. Adachi not losing his powers until he was truly ready to connect to Kurosawa ended up being far more enjoyable than I expected. Meanwhile, in Korea, Color Rush 2 without one of the leads ultimately left the series feeling incomplete on a somewhat disappointing note.

Korea has had three different reincarnation stories this year with First Love, Again; Choco Milk Shake, and The Director Who Buys Me Dinner. Choco Milk Shake ends up being the weirdest, what with Jungwoo’s pets reincarnating as very hot human men to try and help him manage his loneliness. In the other two shows, one partner is either immortal or has full recollection of his previous lives as he tries to reconnect with the other partner.

Kissable Lips tried out vampires, mostly unsuccessfully. Without enough time, it didn’t get to explore some complex themes about long-lived beings. Interview With the Vampire will be the queer vampire show that gets remembered this year for the toxicity of their failed marriage and the abuses therein.

We had two different time loop shows with Triage from Thailand, and Once Again from Korea. I enjoyed Triage more for the way it showed how hard it is not to love someone when you become obsessed with them, but there was something special about the painful way Once Again doled out a sliver of hope.

Vice Versa managed to tell something interesting with the body swapping across universes concept, even if I found myself frustrated with one of the leads. Self also attempted to use the supernatural with a character losing his reflection, but it ultimately felt like a plot delivery shorthand.

Whew! For all the talk about the number of high school shows we got this year, we had more supernatural ones.

Finally: Adults to Take To Brunch

We had a lot of standout adults this year that I want to highlight. Inter-generational queer relationships are extremely important to me. No matter how loving and supportive families may be, most queer people are going to be raised by straight people. We have to venture out to find our people and each other. So, being able to find that within your family or within your own community is so important. As such, these are the characters from this year I’d want to take to brunch and hang out with.

My favorite pair this year are Cheep and Dej from My Ride. The breakfast they share with Mork and Tawan in episode 8 about how maintaining a long term relationship is not so much about amorous love and romance, but more about trust, commitment, and communication. The frankness with which they discuss how they don’t always get along, and yet continue to choose each other, was so stellar. I hope someday to have a love as durable as theirs.

I also want to mention Uncle Man in 21 Days Theory. I suspect the show introduced a gay uncle to accommodate its short run time. They needed a queer presence to explain Q’s familiarity with queerness, and Uncle Man’s advice and guidance saved us a lot of navel gazing as a character came to understand himself. Regardless, at one point in the show, Q gets jealous of Man because he thinks Man is flirting with X. Man pulls his nephew aside and reads him to pieces for being so irrational, and reminds Q that he’s not interested in boys. It was such a stellar moment that has stuck with me for months.

Framboise from Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized is probably my favorite character of the year. From his first appearance, he radiates queer self love and joy. He is so excited to be amongst his people and connect with them, and them to each other. He gives solid advice in the few interactions we had with him, and he’s so determined to make sure Mamouru joins in with other creators. I have so much more to say about him, but know that he is what I aspire to be. (Gif credit to @liyazaki, used with permission)

Alex from My Tooth Your Love needs to join us so he can have a break from holding the entire restaurant together. Alex may have been stern, but it was so fun to see a character set in where he was in his life while helping take care of others. He also deserves to be teased for being so fond of a baby gay.

Mama Xu from About Youth is also invited to the brunch. Not only has she managed to keep her son in good spirits after the painful loss of his father even as her brother terrorizes them, she also does that while staying out of his business.When Ye Guang came to her for advice about Qi Zhang, she kept her advice nonspecific enough that she didn’t invade their relationship. I love her, and she deserves to be pampered.

Though he had such a small role that they only named him Uncle, Uncle from Choco Milk Shake needs to join us because of the way he’s clearly supported his nephew without judgment for years, even knowing that a deep melancholy gripped him.

While talking about My Tooth Your Love, all of the 30-somethings that got together this year are welcome at brunch, including Xun’an and Bai Lang from My Tooth Your Love; Nomoto Yuki and Totoko Kasuga from She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat; Togawa and Nozue from Old Fashion Cupcake; the entire adult cast of Papa & Daddy 2; Seo Joon and Ji Woo from To My Star 2; and the entire adult cast of Plus & Minus.

Lian and Yi from Cutie Pie are not invited because they are too wrapped up in the lives of young 20s folks and will bring the wrong energy to the brunch. Speaking of which, we’ve invited enough people that this has turned into a luncheon.

QL Got Jobs This Year

One of the real joys of being part of the genre for so long is seeing enough money enter the field that we can afford to leave the school settings. This year, we finally started seeing office romances more often.

Scrolling through my watch list reveals: 609 Bedtime Story, 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us, Accomplishment of Fudanshi Bartender, Candy Color Paradox, Check Out, Cherry Magic: The Movie, Choco Milk Shake, Close Friend S2, Coffee Melody, Dear Doctor I’m Coming for Soul, The Director Who Buys Me Dinner, Even Sun, First Love Again, Gameboys 2, GAP, Ghost Host Ghost House, Happy Ending Romance, Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki-kun Desire to be Recognized, KinnPorsche, Koisenu Futari, Love Stage!!, Meow Ears Up, My Ride, My Tooth Your Love,The New Employee, Ocean Likes Me, Oh! Boarding House, Oh! My Assistant, Old Fashion Cupcake, On Cloud Nine, Physical Therapy, Plus & Minus, Rainbow Prince, Roommates of Poongduck 304, Senpai This Can’t be Love!, She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat, Sleep With Me, Sky in Your Heart, Tinted With You, That’s My Candy, To My Star 2, Triage, To Sir With Love, The Tuxedo, Vice Versa, War of Y, and What Zabb Man!.

That’s 47 shows; that’s more than half my watch list. We can talk about how much stuff happens in school settings, but we had some options this year!

In a real relief for me, we started to see more workplace romances or romances starting between adults. Early in the year it started with My Ride for me, and then the slate of Korean shows. I suspect it comes down to where it was pragmatic to shoot. In Seoul, there’s probably office space for rent for these sorts of productions because of kdrama, whereas Thailand seems to have a disused campus that hosts many of the shows. Still, I count at least 16 that involve people falling for people they work with.

A special note for the Philippines: Rainbow Prince was fantastic. Yes, the production values are way lower than most people’s tastes, but that show was so funny. They absolutely committed to being the first BL musical, and the songs are a ton of fun. That show has “a heart so big it could crush this town.” It even does the classic musical thing of giving an antagonist one of the better songs on the set.

Looking at the projects being advertised next year, we might see non-school shows take the vast majority. What a time for us!

The College Shows That Didn’t Suck

Where I found that the high school shows have done a fantastic job this year, the college shows were really hit or miss for me. I’m not sure if it’s because that particular setting has run out of intriguing ideas, but I want to highlight the shows that I think didn’t suck.

First up: Thailand. You’re My Sky felt like the first true post-ITSAY pulp. They really reached for solid production values and tried to bring a higher level of cinematography. I also think they handled the three relationships really well. Many folks dropped it, but it was a quiet gem of this year for me. Cutie Pie was a bit of a slog sometimes, but I still recommend it. Mark and Vee are not my favorite pairing, but the new version of Love Mechanics was still well done. It needed a side couple though.

Next: Japan. Despite my gripes, Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But To Kiss! was actually a really fun watch. Obviously we can’t end a year without acknowledging the continued parody fun of Absolute BL 2.

Finally: Korea. Semantic Error is going to be one of the banner shows of this year when we refer back to this year and talk about how people got into BL, what with the way it brought K-pop fans into the genre. Blueming gave us another stellar entry from Hwang Da Seul (To My Star). While I don’t really enjoy stepbrothers pairings, Cherry Blossoms After Winter was compelling. Love Class held its own, even if it wasn’t exactly to my taste.

Finally, though it isn’t exactly a school show, DNA Says I Love You is a really special show from Taiwan worth checking out.

LET’S GO LESBIANS! We Finally Had Multiple Quality GL Offerings

We finally started seeing GL productions on the field. Surprisingly, Korea has had the most offerings. I’ve watched She Makes My Heart Flutter and Our Relationship Ended Before it Began. My favorite pieces so far are Sleep With Me and GAP.

Sleep With Me worked so well because of the way they focused on disability and how it impacts romance. The queerness mattered to the storytelling, but it doesn’t spend much time in angst about that, when their material concerts are so much more present. I’ve been shouting for months for more people to watch it, so please sign up on Gaga and watch it. You can check out the first episode on YouTube.

GAP is still airing, but oh my goodness am I having fun with the costuming on this show. There is a specific lesbian gaze to this show that has been so refreshing to experience. It’s even unlocked all new tropes with us with “let me put this lipstick on you so I can taste it.”

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat feels like the lesbian little sister to What Did You Eat Yesterday? Unlike WDYEY, the pair are not together at the beginning, but it has been a darling of a show that I really hope NHK continues next year. I do love the shows where everyone cooks.

In Koisenu Futari, we got to see two aromantic asexual people build a platonic support system together while dealing with a lot of unwanted allosexual scrutiny. This was one of the most vital things I watched this year.

While there aren’t a ton of offerings yet, it’s been an encouraging start.

Meanwhile, In the West

Though it pains me how many Western fans of queer media will not cross over into BL, there were some things from the West I enjoyed this year.

Closest to BL, I enjoyed Heartstopper and Young Royals. Both fit into the same coming of age space BL loves and were easy recommendations for people who enjoy high school romance.

Probably my favorite show was Chucky. That the Chucky character has been terrorizing victims across five decades is amazing, and I’ve enjoyed how some of the queer themes always at the core of the series are now front and center. A young romance between two boys undergirds much of the drama of the first two seasons, and it's a rare American show that became appointment television for me.

The biggest surprise of the year for me came from HBO with Our Flag Means Death. Obviously, we all know that pirates are gay culture, but I was not expecting HBO to be this explicit and play a textual romance out between Rhys Darby and Taika Waititi as Stede Bonnet and Blackbeard respectively. It also featured an explicit open relationship between two other crewmembers, and had a clearly nonbinary character aboard as well. All of this is handled with a comedic grace that felt so easy.

Also distributed by HBO is the Canadian show Sort Of, in which a trans-nonbinary nanny deals with the fallout of one of the parents falling into a coma. I first saw it at TIFF 2021, and it is really just so good. It’s hard to really sell in text like this, but it’s a fantastic show.

Finally, of what I watched, AMC gave us an adaptation of Interview With the Vampire, that shows a gay romance souring into something truly toxic over decades. I had a few qualms with specific choices the team made, but this show was absolutely compelling.

While I’m impressed with a few of the offerings we have here, I’m still not sold on Western queer storytelling funded by the major distribution systems.

So…What’s Next?

That’s the real question, isn’t it? I think, for me, I’m going to have to be more discerning next year. Watching this much stuff really isn’t sustainable for me anymore, and it means I’m going to have to pick my winners, because I find I have little time to catch up on shows. I also enjoy the week-to-week interaction about shows too much to be late to the party.

Overall, I’m genuinely encouraged by what I’ve seen teased so far for next year. GMMTV is getting more confident in its post-school storytelling, and is doubling down on using veteran talent instead of newbies to lead their shows. With their original stable starting to age up, they’re trying out more high-concept stuff. The Midnight Series begins airing this week, and I think will be our first glimpse of what’s to come.

Beyond GMMTV, Star Hunter Entertainment and Domundi seem like they’re going to hold strong for the coming year. Me Mind Y also doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. That means we’ll be covered on high heat and genre stories as well. Finally, Wayufilm is still active, so we’ll continue to see them experiment.

Unfortunately, I don’t see Korea taking a big leap forward yet. They seem satisfied with the 20 minutes max for their shows and at most 8 episodes. Still, I expect them to dominate the low-heat shows that focus exclusively on romance.

I’m not sure what to expect from Japan after this year of BL o’clock ends for MBS. My only hope is that the relationships with GagaOOlala and Viki don’t end, and what new productions do come out Japan make it onto both platforms.

I worry about the Philippines getting too walled in. I haven’t been able to watch a production from The IdeaFirst Company easily in a very long time, and I don’t know what’s going on with their international distribution anymore. I’m still watching to watch Pa Thirsty and Two and One. I have hopes for Oxin Films’ next productions, but they always seem to be working on a thin budget that delays their projects.

I’ve also fallen off of Vietnamese productions for now. The fundraising pushes are too much for me.

That’s all from me. It’s been the most enjoyable year in BL I’ve ever had, and maybe all of queer media. It’s so fun seeing different kinds of BL fans in the space now find their niches, and to see fandom wars moving off my dashboard as people find other people to engage with instead. We passed supersaturation a long time ago, so I hope the bubble doesn’t burst any time soon.

See you all next year!

#bl end of year wrap up #bl series #thai bl #taiwanese bl #japanese bl #korean bl #pinoy bl #Ben watches

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night-heron-writes · 2 years ago

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Buddy Daddies Episode 9 "No Sweet Without Sweat"

~*~Warning: Spoilers for Buddy Daddies Episode 9 under the cut~*~

Overall this was a very cute episode with almost no angst, which means next week is going to be painful. We're entering the final arc of the season here, and things are going to ramp up.

The first thing I noticed about this episode was the background music during the scene where Kazuki, Rei, and Miri were asking Kyutaro to come to the field day. The music playing in the background was typical classic-esque music that would play in a cafe, but what caught my attention was that it was played in a minor key. (Don't ask me which key, I don't have perfect pitch.) Minor keys are often used in music to signal ominous things. If I have my music theory straight, D-minor is considered the saddest key. It'd be interesting to know exactly which key this piece was played in.

Another thing that caught my eye was the way the shot zoomed in on Kyutaro's face when his eyes narrowed, and then the immediate cut to the opening song. This does not bode well, and combined with the musical implications I am starting to get an inkling that Kyutaro will betray our protagonists.

Rei going overkill to secure a spot was hilarious and also very touching. He went out in the middle of the night to secure the best spot to watch Miri. However, the barbed wire monstrosity was a bit much. Plus the way he just easily vaulted over the brick wall? He missed his calling as an Olympic gymnast smh.

Also Kazuki's camera setup kills me. I grew up with a dad who loves to take pictures and has all the snazzy cameras, but even he never used three at once. Look at that telescoping lens on the middle one! Kazuki is prepared.

The discord helped me identify the brand that the cameras spoof off of. If you look at the marking on the camera, you'll see that it says "Milox", which is a spoof of Nilox. Here's a screencap so you can see it clearly.

I think somebody needs to tell Kazuki that this is not what people usually mean by "fun fact".

Absolutely dying at the fact that the daycare mamas still believe the whole "oil baron and washed-up comedian" story. 😂 What kind of fanfiction-type bullshit has Kazuki been coming up with?

Miss Anna is the MVP of tug-of-war. We stan a queen.

Poor Taiga has managed to make enemies for life out of both Rei and Kazuki. That child isn't going to make it to elementary school.

What really got me about this episode was that the leitmotif I've nicknamed "Miri's Family" started playing the minute Rei unfolded the scavenger hunt card that says "family", and it doesn't stop playing until the field day is officially over. I think that's the longest we've heard it play! I'm almost in tears bc Rei and Kazuki have realized that Miri thinks of them as a family. A big moment for the both of them, and the leitmotif makes it all even more touching.

But the post-credit scene. Ah fuck. It's October now, and Kyutaro has yet to either give the organization information or tell Rei and Kazuki. So his decision so far is not to decide? It looks like the organization is starting to get antsy and press for information. Kyutaro better abide by what he told Rei and Kazuki in episode 5:

One final note: It's absolutely hysterical how wrong my predictions were for this episode:

The daycare mamas' group chat pops up again, probably speculating on Rei and Kazuki's relationship history or how they got Miri

Rei and Kazuki get way over-invested bc they don't understand the idea of "friendly competition". (Almost a given, especially after that promo video 😂)

Kyutaro will show up at least once, likely in the post-credit scene

the post-credit scene will be the the only part of the episode that addresses the request for information.

We will get a hilariously over-the-top training montage where Kazuki and Rei coach Miri. I'm talking like on the order of the dodgeball episode of spy x family where the kiddos were climbing a jungle gym but it looked like mountain climbing 😂

we get at least one new important musical theme, or one becomes important that wasn't earlier.

I'm at 2 for 6 with my predictions.🤣 Maybe I'd better stick to the musical analysis...

#buddy daddies #buddy daddies spoilers #episode 9 #lea over analyzes fictional stuff again #long post

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masterjedilenawrites · 2 years ago

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Hi! I love your blog and was hoping to get a blind date set up if you're still doing them.

I'm a full time college student and a part time barista as well as an assistant speech and debate team coach on the side. I was on the team competitively until I graduated and returned to be an assistant coach when my younger brother joined the team. I used to work in childcare and am working on a degree to be a teacher, I'm very passionate about history and literature which is what I hope to teach.

I'm plus sized and kind of have a pastel goth aesthetic, lots of bright colors and makeup but in more gothic styles of that makes sense. I've got brown eyes and black hair, roughly 5'6 but I'm usually wearing boots so who knows anymore. I put a lot of effort into my appearance and self care. I'm the human embodiment of a guinea pig and a marshmallow; I'm soft and adorable but I'm loud and not afraid to call out things when I see them.

I've got four guinea pigs and a dog who are my entire world alongside my art and writing. Kids have always been drawn to me for years, it's not uncommon for me to go to the library or grocery store and have a little buddy appear asking me to help them find their adult or a good book.

I paint with acrylic mediums as well as henna and other body safe paint , I also write and read a ton in almost every genre and have a huge passion for theater and the arts as whole. My true love in life is glitter. No outfit is complete without glitter. My motto in life has been "Eat a cookie and be happy." I enjoy cooking, especially trying out new recipes but I cant say no to fresh fruit.

I look for humor in a partner, someone who can laugh at situations and not take things too seriously. I'm a huge advocate for solid boundaries and communication as well as respecting each other's independence. Someone who can reach the top shelf would be helpful though.

I think I know just the guy for you anon. Hope you like it!

Your date is...

✨Poe Dameron!✨

This guy... he's smooth and charming, but also fun and silly. You'll have an entertaining date, to be sure. He'll want to start it off by impressing you, picking you up in a cruiser and flying all around, showing off with barrel rolls or other little maneuvers just to hear your laughter. Eventually he'll settle back on the ground. He'll take your hand and walk with you through a farmer's market, insisting you stop at every stall and try every food sample.

There'll be plenty of chit-chat as you two pick your way through the vibrant market, getting to know each other while also enjoying the moment and all the unexpected surprises it brings. Like the cookies he tried that turned out to be dog biscuits, or the several canopies that blew over in a random gust of wind. Poe loves that you not only have these fun memories to share already, but that you seem to be building a strong connection, a level of comfort with each other that could very well turn into more.

Once the sun sets and your bellies are tired from food and laughter, he'll take you for one last cruise around the skies, this one much more gentle and relaxed. This is where your conversation will turn deeper, and he'll ask you how you feel, what you want, and maybe if it's okay to kiss you. If you ask for more dates, Poe will be a committed partner, supporting your studies and art, taking you on more adventures, and giving you space when you need it.

✨

Want to be set up on a blind date with a Star Wars character?

#star wars #blind date #match game #blog-versary celebration #i hope you enjoyed your date!#sequel trilogy #poe dameron

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sentofight · 4 months ago

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Plots please + Lyn, Rokurou, Zack, maybe Lucina and Kula too?

Lyn

Taking from what you said in the bingo card, would teaching him how to ride a horse count as a plot for a thread? Listen, things could go south in a battlefield and it would do good for Zech to know how to ride one if it was necessarily. Or he can just sit behind Lyn and let her ride the horse and he off heads with his sword? (Listen, Zech what if i offered you a casual horse ride and idle chat? bonding hours in nature? y/y?)

We could circle back to the 'scars' on him idea? She's curios because how can a person get this many when he is 'young'. Being sensitive and sympathetic to people's pain, it probably eat at her to know if she can help in a way. Knowing Lyn, she can be a bit pushy but she will back off to give him his personal space. Though Zech can spot her giving him the 'talk to me if you want, friend' look.

Perhaps in her world thread? A mission back in her world and Zech is picked by summoner to go with Lyn and the gang because he asked or Summoner thought he would be an asset in battle. Zech can learn first hand about the dragons and the whole Nergal's plan and what happened to Lyn's tribe?

or we can do a normal idle chat thread? opening up about some traumatic events--like how her tribe got killed, her parents and how she lost everything in one night. nudge nudge at zech, tell her more about yourself. does he have a dream? she does! want to hear about it?

relationship wise, I don't mind if it goes into romantic department but they are both on the hurty side, it will definitely take some time. Plus, she is a stubborn lady and looking at how Zech tend to 'act nice guy' it might ruffle some of her 'I can handle myself' feathers, the whole misunderstanding because she tends to quickly be defensive about her abilities and being a woman lol. she got dismissed so quickly after all from her tribe who survived the slaughter so it is something will be in the back of her mind forever. it is not something that will go away with time. Even with Zech's reassurance, it comes and goes from time to time, so they both need to play the patient game with each other lol.

Rokurou

Listen, Rokurou is a daemon--a yaksha, war daemon. If he sensed that Zech is strong then he will come and ask for a match. A swordsman's pride is being unparalleled so count on him to keep bothering Zech to fight him. In which verse though? In yours or his or we can make up something that works for the both of them yehaw.

This could go into the 'oops did I summon a daemon?' kind of idea. Dunno how it will work with Zech but perhaps someone tried to curse Zech and instead, they unable him to have a demon buddy lol. (slides maybe some f/ate at you if you are interested.)

Another idea, similarly, Zech might have broken rokurou's seal and awakened him. Technically, he could have been trapped by a mage because he kept wrecking havoc trying to find fighters to fight against. Basically, terrorizing people until someone put a spell on him to trap him in some sort of eternal sleep. you unlocked the grand prize, now he will follow you because (idk how to repay you so imma follow you and destroy your foes for you, buddy. wanna grab some drinks, too? let me check that sword for you--I'll have you know, I know a thing or two about smithy.)

Their relationship is definitely wonky. Looking at how zero morale compass Roku can be (at times), it might push some buttons for Zech. At least, he can trust that Roku will honor his word if they had some sort of agreement. Listen, rokurou is old school, you do him a solid favor, he will pay it back no matter what.

Zack

I remember I had a small thread with sora and she was eyes emoji at him like Serge and hes like who dis? and shes like my sister's late boyfriend and yeah. would zeck be looking for sora and maybe zack helps him? another mission for the 1st class soldier! lol

If zech has a F/F 7 verse then would they be soldiers together? if so, the two can be on a mission together and they cause chaos together lol. if not, he found himself in gaia (like he always get kicked into other realms) and perhaps is mercenary and does what it needs to gather info and there walks zack who is willing to yap info if you became his friend lol.

Their relationship is definitely buddies! whether zech want to admit it or not, Zack will get another big bro figure. sparkle eyes at him to teach him the cool moves he got and tell him more about the adventures he went through. come on man, dont be a wet blanket! nudge nudge you like him, dont you? eh? eh? positive reinforcement from one puppy! give zech diabetes for having an innocent(?) puppy guy around lol.

Lucina

ROLLS MY SLEEVES. HELLO, WELCOME TO MY DOMAIN. IS ZECH WILLING TO GO INTO ANOTHER PARALLEL WORLD WITH THE BROKEN FUTURE AND BROKEN LUCINA?

HOW ABOUT FALLEN LUCINA MHM? ALL HAIL GRIMA! CAN ZECH CUT DOWN HIS DOOTER? HUH? HUH? CAN YOU HARM HER EVEN THOUGH SHE IS ABOUT TO CHOP HIS HEAD?? CAN HE TOLERATE HEARING HER CRIES AND EYES TEARING BLOOD. [I LOST. EVERYTHING .... EVERYTHING ... I HAVE NOTHING ....LEFT... FATHER.....MOTHER.....EVERYONE....THEY'RE GONE....I AM ALONE....ALL ALONE.....IT'S.....COLD....I HATE THIS....L...E.....O........] teehee~ <3

Listen, post game threads is good, too man. In my main post game setting for Lucina, she would open an orphanage to raise children who lost their parents to the war. She knows what it feels like to be parents-less in a blink of an eye. I can see Leo going with her wish (i think, I hope) and the two starting it together. Father, come visit and share stories to the kids. After all, you are the valiant hero with the sword that shines so brightly against the darkness (totally not Lucina had been telling stories about her time with the shepherds and totally didnt tell stories about her two papas and two mamas and the kids now think zech is magical hero who will beam light of his sword. sorry not sorry.) have diabetes instead of sad teehee.

ok more diabetes. father daughter thread. idle chat. let them do a hobby they can enjoy together. cooking? be her taste taster. fishing? watch her nap instantly bored out of her mind but she wanted to try something new lol. carving wood? she knows how to handle a sword but imagination is not her forte;;; shopping? unleash her chaotic and eccentric taste on zech; picking the most random thing for him and for sora and leo and aurora.

listen listen. daughters thread? if zech is not going shopping with her, can aurora go? settle down in a tavern or somewhere to talk about girls stuff! lucina asking aurora to tell her more about leo, their childhood. maybe aurora can ask her things she wants to know too! it would do her good to have a bestie she can talk to ;u; bestieeeee come here lets go pick the weirdest shirt to leo! giggles happily~

rubs my angsty hands. listen buddy i gave you fun threads now listen to this one. one of them taking a critical hit because imma abuse the partner jump for a hit game mechanic and yolo. listen, would i throw more sad and say it is lucina who took the hit and now zech feels like life is doing the same shit at him, giving him happiness and taking it in the most cruel way? he thinks he ruined his son's happy life as well the first time someone called him father beside his kids? ehehehehe i double the sad and say it is zech who got hurt and lucina feels like nothing good ever happens to her--her world got destroyed, her parents die, her friends lost their parents, she lost her country, her people, and now she is the reason her lover's father is in a critical condition because of her. she can't look into leo's eyes if so. aurora might try to talk to her but she is depressed and only blaming herself. not enough 'it is not your fault' can change her mind until papa wakes up and tell her to stop being an idiot because he will do it again for her; she is his daughter waaaaa. eat this kinkoz! *weeps*

yo papa what if you got a grandchild .....................just saying. leo better make dreams come true. winks winks wonks wonks nudge nudge. honks.

Kula

Will Zech join the tournament? If so, she might join his team to piss of K' and Maxima because he bought her lots of ice cream XD their team will be zech, sora and kula lmao (never forget ZZ!)

Since it is modern-ish settings, zech might stumble upon kula shopping and for some reason dudes are trying to rob her and insert comical moment zech trying to save her and she just freezes them like its nothing. ah! oji---zeze! whatcha doing? blinks blinks.

but what if NESTS, too tried to kidnap sora and use her for experiment? and zech wants more clue, hence kula 'i was part of them.' looks innocently and brightly at him 'wanna go destroy them together? diana and foxy can help us! and K! and maxima! and Seirah! and Seirah's big boss and shades(clark) and muscles(ralf)!'

also this could branch out of the previous one, but kula is kind of 'easy' to hack her brain because 'child mentality' and all, so what if she got hacked to get rid of zech who is snooping around NEST? he got a lot of work cut out of him if he wants her sanity back. or not. there are lots of options haha. he can't treat her nicely when she is about to make him part of the ice age lol.

for their relationship, expect her a freeloader for ice cream lol and attention and fun time! kula gets attached to people who are nice to her and generally don't treat her like a helpless kid. she likes to learn so i can see zech the 'let me explain' kind of guy because she is always about to do something she thinks is ok but common sense says no.

send plot and imma ramble rose some ideas | accepting | @wayward-sword

#ooc.| faty speaks #waywardsword #[hi.

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safethaw · 9 months ago

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Price Breakdown: Concrete Vs. Asphalt Driveways.

Deciding between a concrete and asphalt driveway? I've been there. It feels like standing at a crossroads, with the weight of costs, durability, and maintenance pressing on you. I mean, it's not just about the immediate hit to the wallet, right? We've got to think about the years ahead too. So, let's have a candid chat about the "concrete vs asphalt driveway cost" conundrum and see if we can simplify things a bit. Upfront Expenses: What Hits Your Pocket Now Concrete: So, straight up, laying down a concrete driveway is a bit pricier at the get-go. The material, labor, and if you want any fancy designs or finishes—all of that adds up. Asphalt: On the other hand, asphalt is like that budget-friendly friend who doesn't order the priciest dish on the menu. The installation process is pretty straightforward, which makes it a go-to choice if you're a tad tight on the budget. In It For The Long Haul: Durability And Maintenance Concrete: If you're looking for something that sticks around, concrete driveways can last you a good 30 years or more. But, it's a bit like owning a pet; it needs care. Think of sealing post-installation and then touch-ups every so often. And, yeah, because it's light-colored, every little spill or stain is going to wave at you until you clean it up. Asphalt: Asphalt, on the flip side, is lower maintenance initially. But it's kind of like that old car that needs frequent check-ups. Expect some resealing action every few years. And those cracks? They're bound to make an appearance, especially when Mother Nature's mood swings between hot and cold. Weather Woes: How Each Holds Up Depending on where you live, the "asphalt vs concrete driveway cost" decision could sway. Concrete: If you're in a place that feels like you're living in the sun in the summer, concrete might not be your best friend—it heats up a lot. But in colder zones, it's got your back, even if it can be a tad prone to cracking when the mercury dips really low. Asphalt: Now, asphalt is more chilled out. It's less likely to crack in those freezing temps but on the hot days? It gets a bit soft and, dare I say, sticky. Those tire marks? Not a great look. The Big Winter Challenge: Salt And Chemicals If you're battling icy conditions every winter, here's something crucial. Both driveways have a bit of a love-hate relationship with de-icing salts and chemicals. Concrete: Salts on concrete? Not a match made in heaven. It's like pouring sugar in a gas tank—the surface can get scaly, colors fade, and cracks can pop up before you know it. Asphalt: Asphalt's a tad stronger in this relationship, but it's not invincible. Over time, these chemicals can make asphalt brittle and cranky (read: cracked). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2uACuEGD4k Enter The Hero: Safe Thaw Regardless of the driveway path you choose, let's introduce a lifesaver: Safe Thaw. This isn't your ordinary ice melt. It's chloride-free, toxin-free, and basically, the knight in shining armor for driveways during winter. Safe Thaw is your perfect answer for your concrete vs asphalt driveway cost debate due to its concentrated formula. This formula assures long-term, maximum effectiveness from season to season. No corrosion worries, no damage. Plus, its fancy formula, with that modified crystalline amide core (sounds sci-fi, right?) and glycol blend, keeps your driveway looking spiffy and slip-free. Concrete Vs. Asphalt: Wrapping It Up Initially, asphalt might look like the wallet-friendly choice. But when you play the long game, considering repairs, lifespan, and the "concrete vs asphalt driveway cost" tug of war, it becomes a tight race. My two cents? Think about where you live, the look you're going for, and how hands-on you want to be with maintenance. Oh, and regardless of your pick, Safe Thaw is like that reliable buddy you need on speed dial during winter. Your driveway—and probably your mailman—will thank you! Read the full article

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elliebell77 · 11 months ago

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ok ive given this some thought and am going to dump said thoughts here. Sorry if it doesnt make sense lol

—

The first thing I thought when I saw this post was actually of Deltarune, or specifically Asgore’s house.

Now of course, you can make the argument that the state of his house can be blamed on the fact that he’s poor cause nobody’s buying his flowers and he keeps giving them away for free, PLUS he’s divorced which could have added to his financial struggles.

And I’m not refuting that. I’m not! I think a lot of this can be blamed on his financial troubles. HOWEVER, even poor, his room is still a mess. Disorganized, no sheet on the bed, random shit and flower supplies everywhere, the wedding flowers (im coming back to that later btw). Not to mention the color scheme itself. Looking at the juxtaposition between the actual shop and his room, the contrast is obvious enough that I don’t think i need to point out the difference in mood and colors, though I WILL point out the only real color in Asgore’s room is the flowers. And while this could be because the storefront has to look nice and professional, I think it also represents something about his character: The happy face he puts on for everyone (or at the very least, his kids) and the actual, dimmer mental state he’s in once you peel back the curtains.

There’s also the fact that, like in Undertale (which I’m getting to soon, I promise), Asgore’s life is one marred by loss. Rudy, for example, his best friend, is in the hospital and possibly dying. His wife left him and his kids rarely see him anymore. He doesn’t really have anyone to talk to, other than his flowers. To put it shortly, Asgore is incredibly, incredibly lonely.

I have a lot more to say about deltarune but I’m gonna loop back to it later + i havent played deltarune in a long time so there’s a lot i’ve probably missed/misremember

—

Now for Undertale. This is an interesting one, and I have a lot more material to work with because I remember more of that game lmao.

(thank you random reddit user for making these maps so i can rip it off google images to steal for my character analysis post)

Oof. Where do I start with UT Asgore.

I guess I can start with his loneliness. “Loneliness?? What loneliness??? He’s super friendly and regularly chats with citizens!!” I hear you yelling angrily at your monitor as you read this. Well, hypothetical audience member, shut the fuck up.

Ok but seriously, I thought about this a lot and while yes, Asgore is super friendly and outgoing, does he actually have any… friends? Like really good, really close friends. Sure, he has Undyne, but Undyne seems to be more of a child/student to him. Yes, he HAD Rudy, but as stated in the alarm clock dialogue, he passed away long before the events of Undertale. Gerson seems to have been a companion of sorts (war buddy?? Friend? Hard to say), but again, it’s implied they grew apart when Toriel left

Gerson dialog I was referring to ^

This means that, again, Asgore is alone. The only family he has left (that he knows of) locked herself in the ruins to get away from him and seemingly hates him, and while yes, Asgore does go out and talk to his subjects on the regular, he’s not necessarily close with any of them for one reason or another.

Which brings me to my big, fat point and the biggest reason I wrote this whole essay in the first place:

Asgore clings to the past (as a form of escapism?)

I mean, it’s painfully obvious in both games, but especially so in Undertale. I mean, just look at his house. The fact that it imitate’s Toriel’s, the fact that he tries so hard to imitate her butterscotch and snail pie, the fact that his kids’ beds are still both in their room, perfectly made, with their possessions still inside, untouched. Hell, he still has the nose nuzzle champs thing from 1998, which had to have taken place more than a decade ago now.

Toriel, on the other hand, has moved on. The kids’ bedroom only has one bed. The chair is well worn. Her room is messy, but lived in, with a journal detailing her life. Yes, she has a yellow flower, yes you can make the argument that she, too, clings a little bit to her old life, she’s very clearly moved on and dealt with her grief in a much, much healthier way than Asgore has.

Asgore’s house, in contrast, is just a cheap imitation of Toriel’s. A hollow shell, lacking the soul, the worn yet lived-in charm that makes Toriel’s so comfortable and welcoming. Asgore has not moved on, and maybe he never will.

We also see this in Deltarune (HA see I DID circle back to it), though not quite as obvious. Remember the wedding flowers? (you better, cause I specifically said I was coming back to them. bitch.) Not to mention the fact that he’s STILL trying to get Toriel back despite her obvious rejections (i mean, the poor woman’s thrown away so many bouquets of flowers that the trash smells like flowers 24/7)

This is shown, too, in the color language of both houses. I’ll put em here so u dont have to scroll all the way back up to see what i mean

The only real color in the room is the flowers. The only thing that lights up the house is the past. In a dark, lonely life, the only light to keep him going is the good ol’ days. The way it once was, when his wife was still with him and he still had 2 loving children. And he so desperately wants to get all that back that he’ll build and maintain an entire house that he doesn’t even seem to really live in, just to get a cheap imitation of what his old life was like

—

Is this evidence of PTSD? Well… no, not really, but it’s definitely evidence of depression, or at least some kind of psychological/trauma-related issue that he’s trying to escape.

For science. For those of you who have played/watched Undertale, do you believe Asgore may be depressed or have some level of PTSD? If so do you think this influenced his choices and actions?

#reblog #this took a while to write #ngl i dont really think too much about asgore but goddamn did i realize how under analyzed he is #to be fair we don’t really know a lot about him #is there a lot to know? it almost feels like he just lives in the past at this point with few hobbies beyond gardening and… drinking tea?#i think he’s kind of a hollow shell tbh #just like his house #chasing a high he’ll never get again #maybe blaming himself for losing everything

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nightingaelic · 3 years ago

Note

Companions react to a Courier who is actually a child they just never noticed because they’re always wearing the Desert Ranger helmet (sorry I just can’t get this idea out of my head)

It had been a few days since the courier had taken up traveling with their companion, and though they still held their cards close to their chest, the formalities of a new partnership had softened somewhat. Sure, the courier was secretive, a little bit guarded, and surprisingly short, but they more than made up for their quirks when they charged into battle against whatever wasteland threats were feeling lucky that day. That's how their ever-present Desert Ranger combat helmet wound up with a smashed lens, after a particularly vicious attack from a group of feral ghouls.

"Goddammit," the courier swore passionately, before fumbling with the strap of their helmet. "These things don't grow on trees, the NCR doesn't hand these out to just anybody, I had to pull this from a corpse I found back in..."

They kept going as they pried the helmet off, revealing a face that held the unmistakable fullness of youth. As they picked shards of glass from the helmet's eye socket, their companion just stared at them.

Finally, the courier noticed the silence and looked up again. "What? Do I have glass in my face or something?"

Arcade Gannon: "How old are you?" Arcade demanded. "And don't give me some hedgy answer about not knowing your birth date or year, you have to have some idea."

"What does it matter?" the courier shot back, shaking their helmet out over the Mojave dirt. "I can shoot, I can run, I can track and fight and patch myself up afterwards-"

"That's not the point," Arcade said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You can't be older than 12, you should not be out here hunting down raiders and wandering around vaults-"

"Motherfucker, I am 13 years old, don't tell me I can't-"

"Oh my god, you're 13." Arcade stared up at the barren sky, questioning every decision he'd made in the past week. Several realizations struck him at once. "You're 13. Did Benny and the Khans know? Did House?"

The courier shrugged. "Hell if I know. If they did, they didn't care. Neither should you."

"The fact that I care is probably going to save your life," Arcade replied dryly. "Come on. We can wander around the desert taking NCR contracts after you've gone through puberty."

Craig Boone: "We shouldn't be out here," Boone said, suddenly angry.

The courier brushed some stray glass from their coat. "Well, we have to be. Someone's got to check out the REPCONN test site, and I need to find out where Benny went. If you want to go back, though, I guess we can-"

"You shouldn't be out here," Boone clarified. "Tracking down the person who sold my wife is one thing. Sending a kid into a war zone is another."

"War zone?" the courier scoffed. "Listen, I'm not a child soldier, I'm just trying to get by. Plus your buddy's extorting me, so it's not like you can argue that I'm doing this just for fun."

Rather than answer them, Boone swung his rifle around to his back and swept them up in a firefighter's carry. "Hey!" the courier cried, pounding on his shoulder and chest. "Put me down, you piece of- I can handle myself, you know I can- asshole, I've been a courier longer than you've been living in Novac!"

Boone ignored them and turned back toward the town they'd left. "We're going to have a chat with Manny about his practices when hiring outsiders to do security jobs."

Lily Bowen: "Oh, pumpkin," Lily said sadly. "You didn't tell me you weren't ready to be out wandering the wasteland, even if you brought Grandma along."

"Grandma, I was already wandering the wasteland when I came up to Jacobstown," the courier replied, picking some glass from beneath a fingernail. "And what makes you think I'm not ready? I just demolished those ferals."

"Leo killed the ferals," Lily argued.

"Okay, maybe you took out most of them," the courier admitted. "But I still managed to get three or four. You can't tell me I'm not ready to be out here when I've been out here for as long as I can remember."

"Where is your mama?" Lily demanded, clearly agitated. "She should be taking care of you. Or your father. I'm going to have a word with your parents, dearie."

"Good luck," the courier muttered. They finished clearing out the damaged glass and jammed the helmet back onto their head. The open socket left one of their eyes exposed, but it was better than nothing. "I've got business in Westside. Are you coming or not?"

Lily crossed her arms. "If your parents are busy, then you're staying with Grandma until they come back."

The courier sighed. "Fine."

Raul Alfonso Tejada: "Dios mío." Raul clapped a hand to his forehead in distress. "You're not old enough to be out here by yourself, boss."

"Well, I'm not," the courier pointed out, tossing a piece of glass over their shoulder. "By myself. Thanks to you."

"Well sure, now you're not, but what about before I came along?" Raul shook his head. "You need to be somewhere with more walls and fewer raiders."

The courier looked unconvinced. "Make me."

Raul wasn't in the mood to argue, and he strode forward, intending to seize them and drag them back to Goodsprings, or Primm, or any settlement where there was no longer a looming threat. "Ya estuvo suave, you're coming with me."

"Bájale dos rayitas," the courier advised him, backing away. "I've made it this far, haven't I?"

Raul reached out for them, and the courier ducked and took off. The string of Spanish curses that chased them was long and earnest, but it took some time before the pair ran out of energy and drew to a halt on the dry Mojave flats. "Are you done?" Raul asked, between deep breaths.

"Not... on your life," the courier answered, with a mischievous smile.

Rose of Sharon Cassidy: Cass raised her eyebrows and uncorked her canteen. "Nothing. Just figured you were a little older than 13, is all."

The courier smirked. "And what gave you that idea?"

"Mmm." Cass took a swig of water. "Dunno. Maybe it was the whole yarn about getting shot in the head and chasing the culprit all the way to New Vegas. Didn't seem like a kid's story, but now that I'm hearing it back, it does sound a little far-fetched."

"I didn't make it up!" the courier insisted angrily. "Look, right here."

They tilted their head to the side to show off a wicked bullet scar that had been stitched up over their ear. Cass moved in to examine it, and her expression became very grim. "So that part's true, at least. Damn shame."

"And I'm not letting that checkered fuck get away with it," the courier agreed. "You still want to help?"

Cass nodded. "More than I did before. Anyone who looks a preteen in the eyes and shoots them point blank is someone in need of a visit from the angel of death."

"Good." The courier put the helmet under their arm and jerked their head to the north. "Then let's go."

Veronica Santangelo: "Soooo..." Veronica smirked. "When were you planning on telling me you were just a baby?"

The courier frowned. "I am not a baby. There are plenty of couriers out there who are younger than me."

"Oh, sure, I can see the appeal." Veronica nodded. "Aside from the usual problems, it's easy work. Especially if you don't have any family... ties. Um."

She looked down, and the courier's eyebrows went up. "Question?"

"Nope." Veronica pursed her lips. "Maybe. Are you..?"

"On my own?" The courier smiled. "Well yeah, but don't feel bad about it. It's nothing I'm not used to. Plus people like you are usually jumping to come with me, so it's not as lonely as it used to be."

"Aww." Veronica met their eyes again with a smile. "Glad to hear it. And if you ever need anything, you know where to find me."

"Your hole in the ground?"

"My hole in the ground."

The courier laughed and chucked a piece of glass away into the brush. "Thanks. Don't get too sappy on me, though."

ED-E: The courier's eyebot beeped and tilted its speaker up and down, as if indicating interest in the courier's entire self.

"Oh, yeah." The courier smiled. "People take me more seriously if they think I'm older. It's a pain in the ass to keep the helmet on all the time, but it works. Hell, I've been served in bars without any questions since I started wearing it."

ED-E trilled and gave a few more suggestive blips. The courier laughed. "Well no, most bartenders don't give a shit how old you are anyway, but you get fewer judgmental looks if they think you're an adult. Still, it'll be a good day when I can start passing for grown. This thing can get really hot."

Rex: Rex barked. He'd known the courier was young. Seeing their face was nothing more than confirmation for the cyberdog, and he lolled his tongue and panted.

"Yeah, I'm okay, buddy," the courier reassured him. "And I know you'd like me better if I didn't wear this, but it's for my own safety... in more ways than one."

They finished poking out the broken glass and put the helmet back on. Rex growled half-heartedly, but he quit when the courier reached down to scratch the ruff of fur around his neck. "Still me, boy. Let's hit the road."

#fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv #fallout new vegas companions #fallout new vegas companions react #fnv companions #fnv companions react

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henrysfedora · 2 years ago

Note

your post about vito in the war got me thinking...you think all the waiting in chapter 5 reminded him of being in the trenches? like the parts where there was no fighting, just anticipation. him with the gun having to stay at his post just waiting, henry smoking beside him in dead silence, plus the conversation in the gun store (which he looked very uncomfortable with) probably already putting all that on his mind again...i wonder if that's partly why he started trying to talk to henry so awkwardly, because being able to chat settled his nerves a little and took the edge off all the waiting

oh god, see it's all the small stuff like that you're so right. i was trying to go on about that, about how chilling the buildup is, but you've got it, the anticipation would have been just as scary. just waiting for something to happen whether he can hear it or not it still makes him so nervous. to think he had a buddy in the trenches who would always strike up conversation with him and others, just to ease everyone's nerves but now joe and henry don't even think about that. and if they do one's asleep and one's repressed. so i totally get him wanting to chat henry up to get to know him better and get some comfort too. like on one hand the buildup of sound is terrifying, yet so is sitting in silence anticipating something to happen.

#poor marsden lmao he's so wholesome #the war definitely affected him and vito differently #ask #vito scaletta

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writefightandflightclub · 4 years ago

Text

Trial by Fire (Part 1/3) Santiago “Pope” Garcia x GN reader

Summary: You’re finally introducing your new boyfriend to The Boys. It must be intimidating for your guy because, hello? Not only are they literally lethal, as well as infeasibly handsome, but they’re hella protective of you to boot. They want the best for you so, naturally, they make your guy run the gauntlet the whole evening. Santiago, though? Well. Given that he is secretly in love with you? Let’s just say he doesn’t handle the situation very well at all.

Genre / tropes: angst, friends to lovers, love confession.

Author’s note: I wasn’t planning on writing this (in fact I’m writing the opposite, where “Santi has a new girlfriend and you don’t take it well” as a series, loosely based around the 7 deadly sins); but, in the meatime, I wrote this to get back into the swing of things after a lil break. It’s just a quick one, but there will be a second and final part, if you want it! Let me know!

Word count: somehow, 4.4k.

Warnings: language, angst, best friends arguing, Santi being an asshole.

Rating: T

The boys aren’t being as awful as you had anticipated, at least. For the most part, they’re actually being pretty friendly, and although they’ve transitioned into grilling Dean about every aspect of his life, they are at least listening intently and smiling at his answers. All except for one fucker, of course; and, naturally, surprising no-one, the fucker misbehaving is one (1) Santiago “Pope” Garcia.

The group - the boys, yourself, and Dean- are huddled comfortably around the blazing warmth of the fire pit in Frankie’s yard. The dancing, oranged flames cut through the dark and cold of the crisp night, as you sit upwind of the smoke on scattered, mis-matched camp chairs.

Whilst the others are evidently enjoying the evening -faces painted with smiles, body language open and leaning-in to chat to Dean- that fucker Santi is leaning back in his chair, his jaw twitching in seeming aggravation, his arms folded, and his intense eyes needling your beau. In this dim light, with the firelight licking over the sharp planes of his face, he looks every bit like a trained killer about to leap out of the shadows and garotte someone. Well… a very petulant trained killer. His call sign should have been Mr. Grumpy Pants, you think idly.

What’s up with him this time?! you wonder.

He gets these moods sometimes. And, when it strikes him, he can be a little bit hostile - despite the fact he’s a puppy underneath it all. You had hoped that for once, maybe he would suck it up, and yet, your hopes had been in vain, it seems.

Every time Dean speaks, or touches you, or even laughs at another of the guys’ stories, Santi’s expression sinks further and further through layers of distaste; and, by this point, he’s eyeing Dean as though he’s a war criminal the squad have been sent to take-out. You half expect him to leap up and take down Frankie any second for fraternizing with “the enemy”, if you’re honest.

Truth be told, you’ve had just about enough of this. Your friend had better buck his ideas up, sharpish, or he’d be reminded very swiftly that you were Delta Force too.

For now, trying to ignore the bastard, you look back at Dean, and the sight of him in animated conversation with your buddies causes at least some of your aggravation to fall away. Things have been going well between you and Dean, even if you do say so yourself. Originally from Michigan, he now worked as a lecturer at a nearby music school. He was also a banjo musician in a bluegrass / synth power-pop mash-up of a band, which (sort of) explained his retro-inspired mop of brown hair and his thick dark moustache - majestic enough to rival Frankie’s. True, he wasn’t your usual type, but he was honest, and sweet and kind... Plus, he’d never killed anyone with his bare hands, which was rather refreshing too, if you were honest.

Safe to say, so far, things were working out. So well, in fact, that you’d recently met his parents for the first time while they were in town. So well, in fact, that -after keeping him purposefully away from the boys for as long as you feasibly could- you’d now brought him to meet your family. That’s what this squad was to you, after all. Your family.

Remembering sporadic moments from the past few months together, you smile gently as you listen to Dean talk. You watch him seamlessly integrate some tailored conversation starters you’d fed him ahead of time, and you gently squeeze his thigh in an act of reassurance and appreciation. He is feeling the pressure, you can tell, although he is handling it well. To be fair, you think, who wouldn’t feel the pressure? You’d been nervous enough to meet his parents, but this? A bunch of Delta Force guys and an MMA champion? This squad was lethal; literally -you’ve lost track of your combined kill count, though Will probably hasn’t, you are sure.

Aside from that though, most of all, they are your family. You need them to like Dean and vice versa, and you know that isn’t necessarily a given. You are a tight-knit group, with little hope of outsiders grasping the full extent of your decade’s old in-jokes, or the intense camaraderie instilled by facing a hail of bullets together. Plus, as the baby of the group, they were protective as all hell of you.

It came from a good place, you knew: they wanted what was best for you. But, there was a reason you’d delayed this meeting... It’s not as though they were threatening or anything. They didn’t do the whole “if you hurt our buddy, I’ll kill you” thing, for example (at least, not while you were present – you couldn’t vouch for what happened when you were out of earshot). However, after introducing a succession of boyfriends to them over the years, the squad had developed a well-rehearsed system for sizing-up your new squeeze. In the past, not all of your squeezes had made it through the gauntlet. It was a trial by fire, to be sure, and you were pleased that Dean has not yet been burned.

Of course, whilst the boys’ approval didn’t mean everything to you, you couldn’t deny it was important; perhaps especially this time, with this guy. And, out of all of the group, Santi’s approval meant the most to you. Always had. Probably because Santi meant the most to you, full stop. You simply couldn’t imagine having someone in your life that didn’t get on with your best friend. And, so, you are not overly thrilled at the reception Santi is giving Dean right now. The reception he had been giving him all evening, in fact. And the more you dwell on it, the more an anger bubbles forth from you. Even though you try to push it down, and focus on Dean, that fucker in the corner of your eye sends you.

“What’s wrong with you tonight, Garcia?” you blurt out, a little louder than intended, causing the amiable chat and giggles to stall, all eyes turning to you - then, in turn, following the direction of your fiery gaze over to Santi, who shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

Now, he leans forward. Looks back at you with a rare venom in his eyes. With a smug curl of his mouth, he dips to pick up his beer from the floor and takes a swig - buying himself some time. Trying to brush you off. Still, your gaze does not relent as he rests his elbows on his thighs, bridging his fingers together in the space between, thumbs sticking in the air.

Now, he engages, and he looks directly at Dean, his eyes sweeping dismissively over the entirety of his form. Now, he speaks, his voice filled with far more bitterness than the situation merits. “Nothing at all. I’m fucking peachy. So, Dean. You play the motherfuckin’ banjo?” he offers, and yet, it sounds far more like an accusation than a question.

What the fuck is up with him?

Wilting a little beneath Santi’s stare, as the ex-operative squints his eyes in his direction, Dean casts a helpless, sideward glance at you from his place in the circle, and yet, you are so stupefied by anger that you can do little to help.

“I think what my dear friend means to say -” Frankie dips in valiantly, smacking Santi pointedly on the thigh, likely hoping to smack some sense into him too “- is why don’t you tell us more about your music, Dean?”

Frankie’s eyes and smile are soft when he looks at you, surreptitiously exchanging a pointed look -what’s up with that pendejo?- and you are grateful that at least some of the evident tension is diffused when he picks up the slack in the conversation.

Santi and his mood swings be damned, and, feeling bolstered, Dean continues on.

“Actually, it’s going pretty frickin’ well with the band. It’s a side-gig to my lecturing job, but we’re planning a tour during summer vacation. The States -east coast- and Western Europe for now. Maybe headlining a couple of small festivals, if that pans out, who knows.” Dean relates, humbly.

“That��s great, man,” Will chips in, helping Frankie get things back on track. “We’ll have to come down to a gig soon, hear you play.”

“Actually, we have something to tell you about the tour, don’t we, babe?” Dean says bashfully, and he looks at you expectantly, waiting for you to pick-up the thread. You’d talked about it before coming today, and it had seemed like a great idea at the time, but suddenly, now that the announcement is imminent, your mouth is dry - as if filled with cotton. Still, you force a smile, and you’re not sure why, but you look anywhere else but at Santi as your lips form the words. “Yeah – kinda big news, fellas. I’m going to join Dean on the Europe leg of the tour. I’ll be leaving you losers behind for a few months.”

Dean’s face cracks into a smile and he reaches for your hand, looking made-up at the prospect. Still, while you will yourself to be fully present in the moment, you find yourself focussed on looking anywhere but at Santi, sure that his stare must be boring into the side of your head. You hadn’t told him yet. Unfortunately, at Santi is where just about everyone else ends up looking, as the fucker abruptly pushes his camp chair back and stands, storming indoors before anyone can hope to fathom it.

You exchange glances with Frankie, Will, and Benny, with Benny thankfully stepping-in this time to distract Dean from the obvious, and asking him which stops you two will be making, and which sights you plan to see.

“Look, man, don’t mind that tool. Got any sightseeing plans?”

What is Santi’s problem? Why can’t he give Dean a chance? Yes, you’ve made some mistakes in the past- been hurt, and Santi had helped you pick up the pieces -every time- but you had a good feeling about Dean. A really good feeling. Can’t he see that too?

Frankie throws a concerned glance back towards the house and motions as if to stand, but you beat him to it, wanting to get to the bottom of this. “I’ll go,” you insist, motioning for Frankie to stay put, and with a quick promise to Dean that you’ll be back soon (and a silent plea to your boys to take care of him in your absence), you do just that, walk-jogging across the grass.

When you step inside to the kitchen, you find Santi stood, hunched over the counter, his palms clasping the surface tight enough that his knuckles pale, and his head hung low, his shoulders rising and falling as he takes in exaggerated breaths.

“Well?” you ask pointedly, with zero tolerance for his bullshit. “What’s going on with you? Wanna explain why you’re being an ass to my boyfriend?” you challenge to the back of him, and he instantly whips around at the sound of your voice.

“I’m being an ass?” he asks indignantly, his eyebrows shooting towards the top of his head.

“Yes. In a nutshell. Yes,” you hiss, any other interpretation feeling impossible. You fold your arms and purse your lips, making it plainly evident that you are waiting for some explanation. And, oh boy, it had better be good.

Instead of explaining though, Santi simply huffs out breath, gesturing angrily out of the window. “That guy, really? That’s the guy you’re gonna go all in for? Go to fucking Europe for?”

That guy, you mouth silently, completely stupefied for a moment. You’re not sure exactly what your so-called friend is insinuating, but you are clear that you don’t like it one bit.

“What is your fucking problem?” you ask, punctuating your words with motions of your hands, as if you are trying to strangle the air in-between you in lieu of his neck. “Dean’s a catch. He’s hot, he’s sweet, he’s a nice guy. He’s there for me. He takes care of me.”

“Like I don’t take care of you?!” Santi exclaims, his voice rising and abrasive; and then, immediately after the words tumble forth from his lips, he steps back imperceptibly, as if startled by his own outburst, his hand rasping over the stubble on his chin.

“What in the...? This isn’t about you, you ass!” you bite back, face scrunching up in confusion. Your fingers come to your temples as you grow increasingly lost-off and perplexed, and seemingly, your riposte only makes Santi double down on whatever the hell he is complaining about.

“Who’s the one who’s always been there for you, hmm? Who picks up the pieces every time you make yet another dumb shitty choice with another shitty guy?” he rambles, gesturing his hand towards you dismissively.

You step back from him this time, just a little, tears spiking instantaneously in your eyes at such an unnecessarily cruel blow. He’s right, in a sense: you had always relied on Santi to heal you, not to hurt you - and yet here he was dealing these painful, incoherent blows out of nowhere.

“Shit, Garcia. If it’s that much trouble to be there for me don’t bother next time,” you snap, your voice breaking as the swell of anger and hurt and adrenalin sends tears spilling over your cheeks. “Don’t worry though, I don’t think I’ll need you again. In fact, I have a feeling this guy might stick. So, maybe? Maybe you should think about the fact that the only shitty guy around here is you.”

“You really think he’s good enough for you, hmm? He’s really who you want to end up with?”

You listen, aghast, as his tirade keeps coming. However, as Santi’s voice breaks with emotion part-way through his second question, you can’t explain it, but you feel an intolerable sadness in the pit of you. Even though you’re not sure what’s causing all this, what you’re barrelling toward, you want to thrust this sadness away from you. Push him away from you. You want to push away the knot in your stomach for fear that if you tug at that thread, you might arrive at an answer to his question.

Exasperated, overwhelmed, you roughly paw tears from your cheeks, not knowing where all of these feelings are coming from, in either direction. “Fuck, I... I don’t understand what this is. I don’t get it!” you say, waving your hands, palms-up, through the air. “Is this some macho bullshit? Have I pissed you off somehow?”

At that, the wave of Santi’s anger crests and breaks; as you wonder if you annoyed him. Then, as suddenly as his anger came it is waning, his eyes pooling with rare tears now. With a huff of breath he tears off his damn cap, tossing it aside to run a hand through his grizzled hair.

“No. No,” he backtracks a little, palms up in surrender. “You haven’t... I.... I just...” He pinches his lips in-between his teeth and looks up at the ceiling as his words trail off, perhaps trying to steady his voice before continuing. Or, perhaps he has nothing else to say to you. Perhaps he’s said enough.

You examine him. Still pissed as all hell, but worried now too, and ultimately, your love for your best friend slightly edging-out the anger. It’s rare that anything affects him like this, and you can’t help the sudden rush of concern.

Cresting too, you exhale a tightly held breath into the now silent, taut space between you, and your body sags - just a little. You chew over your words a moment, but when your voice comes back the volume is lower, your tone softer - and, although it cannot be considered friendly, by any stretch, it’s the best you can do right now.

“You know what,” you offer, generously, wrapping your arms around your own middle, stroking your forearms with your own fingertips. “I’m giving you a pass. You don’t even want to give Dean a chance? Then just leave, Santi. Just go. I’ll give the guys some bullshit excuse that doesn’t leave you looking like a total ass, because I’m not a dick to my friends. So just go, okay?” You pump your eyebrow at him indignantly and await a response, your manner stiff and unyielding.

Santi closes his eyes and knits his brow together, something like regret finally passing over his face and he shuffles guiltily from foot-to-foot.

You puff out air through your teeth and shake your head, as you observe this Delta Force hero; the bravest man you know in many ways, but still too cowardly to tell it like it is. To admit that he’s in the wrong. You are afraid to say that even as his gaze comes back to you, misty-eyed, you have little sympathy for his plight. You are sure it is of his own doing. You are almost as sure that he won’t open-up.

“You know,” you begin, breaking from your position and gathering up a fresh cooler of beers from the fridge, turned away from him as you speak. “I brought Dean to meet my family. Do you understand that? I didn’t have parents and siblings for him to meet. I have you guys. You’re my family.”

Still nothing. Nothing but silence greets you. Nothing but a pained expression on his face, his brows drown together and the artificial light of the kitchen highlighting the harsh planes of his face as you look over your shoulder at him, waiting for some reaction. Some admission of guilt. None comes. He simply slots his hands into his jean pockets, looking sheepish.

“So,” you continue, greeted with a brick wall, “fuck knows why you don’t want me to be happy, but I am. I’m happy with him. Thanks a ton for shitting all over that.”

You don’t even bother to look towards him this time, instead placing the last of the clinking, condensation-adorned bottles into the carrier, resigned to head back out without him, and without any apology.

“I’m sorry,” he finally says, and your head whips towards him in surprise.

He looks it - sorry. He looks apologetic. Deeply so. He looks sorry for this, for every way he’s ever slighted you, for every time he’s hurt you, even in ways and moments you never knew about. He looks sorry down to the pit of him, and it catches you off-guard when you see it freely offered there in his eyes.

Even so, this is a stubborn man. There’s an apology, but there’s no explanation. Nothing to explain his behaviour. So, even though it seems genuine, it also doesn’t seem like enough.

It doesn’t appease you, and yet, all you can bring yourself to do is sigh deeply.

You know Santi better than anyone, but there’s always been a part of him that has seemed out of reach, even to you. You’re not sure -never have been- whether to be scared or excited by those unknown parts of him. Not sure whether the impasse hints at buried secrets too dark and deep to bear, or whether it hints of a possibility of something more. Something deeper or something better you could have together, if only he would let you in. You don’t know, and you never have, but all you are sure of is that you have constantly teetered on the edge of that abyss, too much left unknown to know all of him, however much you may have wished to. He’s entitled to his secrets, of course, but you hate how they hurt him.

With a little sympathy now, you examine his watery eyes, and when your voice comes back this time, it is softer and slower than you intended. More tired than you expected.

“You know, Dean wants to be with me. And he tells me so.” You casually dip down to pick-up the cooler handle, eyes still fixed on your best friend. “He might not be Delta Force… he might be a banjo player from Michigan… but even he’s brave enough for that.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Santi says, bristling all over again, his hand rasping angrily over his stubbled jaw, and yet, you decline him an explanation. Instead, keeping your own secrets now, holding back, you head towards the door, beers in hand.

Still, you turn back to him. You might be angry, but you still care for him -more than you could say.

“If you figure out what’s up with you, let me know, and I’ll be there for you. Whatever you’ve got going on, you know that, right? But this? This isn’t okay, Garcia. You might think that I make dumb choices -you ass, by the way- but I’ve watched you hit self-destruct so many times instead of dealing with your feelings. Maybe you should look at your own life, huh, instead of shitting all over me for trying to be happy? Shit, at least I fucking try.”

His eyes shift from side to side in the room, the muscles in his jaw twitching, chin jutting forward, and his thumbs locked in his belt loops. He can’t quite bring himself to meet your gaze; at least not until you are disappearing through the threshold; until it’s almost too late. Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

“Wait!” he pleads, but you cut him off, before he can speak. Even though, truth be told, you’re not sure he would muster anything to say at all, even if you gave him a chance. He’s so used to holding back.

“No,” you say firmly. “Forget it, I’m done. I still love you- you’re my best friend. But, fuck, just go home, and get out of my sight, Santiago. I’m so pissed with you right now.”

And so, you turn away, and when his words finally do come, they are spoken to the back of your head. They are spoken without you ever seeing his lips move, and you wonder if he ever said them at all, or if this might be some cruel trick of the night. Some witching hour spell. That is, until you turn towards him and you see the words painted clearly on his face too.

“Fuck it. I’m in love with you.”

I’m in love with you.

Why can’t he ever manage anything unless it’s too late?

You’re not sure what reaction he was expecting, but you almost choke on the sudden lump in your throat. You feel a taste of bile rising-up into your mouth. An intense, resurgent anger fills you, which near makes the room spin, and makes your hands and your legs tremble.

Even if a hidden, unconscious part of you has been waiting, hoping for these words all these years, when they finally come all you can feel is... royally pissed off.

“Oh. No. No. No,” you repeat, words gradually increasing in volume, looking at Santi as if he has mortally wounded you, rather than offered that confession. “You do not get to do this to me.”

You see a hard swallow bob down his throat, a near-instant regret on his face, and your heart pounds in your chest as you reel with the implications of his words.

The coward. The fucking asshole. He waited until now? All the times things had gone to shit, and he waited until you were happy?

“All the times...” you accuse, your tone as bitter as the taste in your mouth, the metallic tang of blood as you feel a rushing in your ears. “All the fucking times. All the chances, Santi, and you do this now?” you continue, your finger sawing through the air, wagging accusations at him, even as your voice wavers, as your hands notceably tremble. “No. Fuck you, Garcia. Fuck you.”

You want to cry, or scream, but you are too angry. So angry, that it eclipses anything else which might come to light. So angry that you almost come full circle again, beginning to stabilise out at eerily calm.

Santi looks down at the floor, and exhales air, chuckling disbelievingly to himself, then lightly nodding his head, lips pressed tightly together. His feet shift agitatedly below him as he brings his endlessly familiar eyes back up to meet yours. This time when he looks at you, it hurts. You remember bullet wounds, and you swear that was nothing compared to this.

“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say to me, hmm? Fuck you, Garcia?”

“What the fuck were you expecting?” you say, launching your words before you realise the implications of them. Yes, you know fine well that your boyfriend is sitting outside, likely wondering where you have got to. But, if you had the wherewithall to have thought about it, you would know exactly what Santi was expecting, despite all of that. You would know that a part of him must be expecting, hoping, that when he told you, you might reciprocate. That you might love him back.

And, would that be so outside of the realms of possibility? Would it be so hard to imagine that the deep, magnetic, and unshakeable friendship you shared could be something else? Something more? That you could tip over the edge you had long been teetering on? Maybe it could, or maybe it could have, but right now, you can’t see past the flashbang he has just dropped over your life, and it is clouding your vision.

You were happy. You are happy. Fuck him for doing this now.

Why would you fall into the unknown for him, if you never knew whether he would catch you? If you never knew whether ruin or safety awaited you if you let yourself tip? He always held back.

What the fuck were you expecting?

Your words linger in the space between you, and in lieu of any other lifeline, realisation dawns on Santi’s face. Realisation that, although he jumped, you are not intending to catch him either. But how could you catch him, with your arms already full?

And, so, he slowly nods his head once again, his eyes beading with glassy tears and his hand grazing over his chin in a self-soothing gesture. Wordlessly, he sets his jaw and he abruptly replaces his baseball cap on his head, padding a few steps forward to stand opposite you, sucking all of the breath from your lungs. This time, when he looks at you, you see all of your past, but you still can’t see beyond that. The abyss still scares you too much.

Like this, facing each other down, eye-to-eye, the silence in the room grows sharp as a knife, refined to a point. So, when Santi abruptly turns to leave in a sharp, determined trajectory, without so much as looking at you, it is as if he has dragged the blade across your skin in an equally swift motion. As if he has left you open and bleeding-out, having delivered a mortal wound with the act of his exit. You’ve felt like this on the battelfield before, and in life, yet he was always there for you. Always there to patch you. To pick up the pieces.

Instead of screaming open-mouthed for help, this time, you simply watch him go, and now you are the wordless one, mustering nothing but a gasped inhale of breath before your vision blurs with tears - as you watch his hazy form disappear along the hall and out of your sight.

“Santi,” you call pathetically, your voice small and weak and teary, barely making it past your throat, and he doesn’t hear you. He doesn’t hear you but even if he had, you’re not sure anymore if he would have stopped.

When Santi slams the front door behind him, you shudder with it in its frame, your hand coming to your chest as if to hold your heart inside your opened-up ribs, and you close your eyes against the jarring sound, tears spilling down your cheeks, your face screwing-up into a shined, contorted grimace.

Entirely lost, now alone, you bizarrely wish for the room to be filled with anger again, instead of the intolerable sadness - which all too suddenly takes hold of you as your emotions crest and break. It is all you can do to stumble forward a few paces and hunch over the countertop, finding yourself in the exact position you had discovered Santi in. You stand, bracing yourself with your arms, fingers clutching the edge of the worktop, and your head slumped forward, tears freely spilling out of you as your chest heaves.

You wonder whether he’d held himself in this same position because he had felt an intolerable sadness too. An intolerable sadness at seeing you happy.

Suddenly you could understand it.

That fucker. Santiago “Pope” Garcia.

I’m in love with you.

The words echo in your mind, but this time, if you’re honest, you’re not wholly sure if they’re his, or yours.

PART TWO IS HERE

#santiago pope garcia x reader #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia x reader #triple frontier #triple frontier x reader #triple frontier fanfic

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gingersnappe-9 · 3 years ago

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Quisiera: Hometowns Are Small (1)

Javier Peña / F!Reader; Post Narcos

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Summary: You never thought you would see him again. The kid who always thought he knew best. The one who was so sure of himself and that the world was his oyster. You weren’t surprised that he didn’t recognize you though. That was Javi you grew up with. This Javier was different. It was plain to see that he carried a weight with him. Knowing the things he knew, holding on to whatever he’d done in the back of his mind now and forever. He wasn’t the bright and shiny version of Javi you once knew, but he was still as golden as ever.

2.3K words

Warnings: minor profanity

This fic will eventually get spicy (18+ only) but each chapter will have individual warnings

The bar looked exactly the same as when he left. The same bar stools, a little more worn in than before; the same bartender, with a few more wrinkles than Javier remembered, with humor to spare; but the same classic songs played on the jukebox.

The people of Laredo had welcomed Javier Peña back as some sort of hero. A few strangers would walk up to him now and again to shake his hand and congratulate him on a job well done.

I hardly fixed anything. Those scumbags still have a foot on the throat of the government. They’re suffocating the life from that country. It’s still a mess. And the U.S. is playing both sides.

The high schools and universities in and around Texas called more times than he could count asking him to come speak to their students about his experiences. The ass kissing requests, “It would be so inspiring to speak to a real world hero who made a difference on a global scale.” Law enforcement agencies approached him a few times looking to recruit him -- something about wanting a “tried and true enforcer in the war against drugs”. He’d even received a few offers from DEA adjacent organizations within the Mexican and American governments offering him further opportunities to “fight the good fight” for another fucked up government surrounded by liars and cheats.

What a load of bullshit.

He had been home for maybe two months since he’d quit the DEA. For now, Javier would tell himself that he was content to work with his dad on the ranch and at the end of the day either come to this bar or stare at the river and watch the undetected narcos row their contraband up stream. The cheap whiskey won most battles after two weeks of the latter option nearly drove him insane. The former DEA agent was more than content to people-watch from his seat looking out at the rest of the small bar, a habit that had yet to be broken.

The man two seats away from him had picked up his glass three times but had yet to take a sip on account that he kept getting distracted by someone who appeared to be his date who had nearly two and a half drinks already. The three guys in the farthest booth, who seemed suspiciously young compared to the rest of the patrons, laughed loudly together. A few older caballeros chatted idly at a small table off to Javi’s left, complaining about how kids these days were only into their walkmans and their “loud rock music”. Javier had to laugh at that. Being one of those kids that adults complained about to their drinking buddies felt like a lifetime ago. Mostly because it was.

It hadn’t just been the ten plus years in the DEA working to take down some of the biggest drug cartels in the world that aged Javier. It was the knowledge that the vicious cycle of narcos making money and outside agencies going into foreign countries in the name of justice only to make shady deals would most definitely never end. Not in his lifetime anyway.

Before Javier could get too lost in his own despair, a group of ladies walked in. A few homegrown Texas girls: some stetsons, denim on denim, and well-worn boots. A few others walked in wearing what looked like scrubs. Doctors or nurses perhaps? All Javi knew was that damn near all of them were cute and he felt like being distracted.

Since Colombia, Javi hadn’t really indulged himself in women like he used to. Whether it was because the pickings were slim, or the fact that Javi had done it so often as a sort of transaction, he didn’t know. Or maybe it was that none of these typical “good” small town girls particularly did it for him. But Javi was feeling the whiskey a bit more today so he made the bold move to go and talk to one.

The girl who peaked his interest was wearing a white button up and dark jeans tucked into the top of her rather nice boots. Most likely a well-off girl working her way through daddy’s money. He moved a couple seats over so he was within striking distance. She was busy talking with someone he couldn’t see. Javi called the bartender over and asked him to refill whatever the lady in the white shirt was drinking and to put it on his tab. The older gentleman simply gave a knowing smirk.

Javier nursed his drink and quietly watched the girls talk from the corner of his eye. The other patrons cleared out slowly as time went on. It was only Javi and the ladies who remained now. He could’ve sworn he heard a familiar voice, but couldn’t quite figure out who it was. His target so to speak nursed her drink slowly, the whole affair seemed to be some old friends catching up with one another after a long day of work. He caught bits and pieces of information about their lives. Someone had their second child not too long ago. Another’s sister was getting engaged to someone they didn’t particularly like. There was mention of dates not going well. Javi rather enjoyed being a fly on the wall and listening in to the small moments of their private lives they made public. There was something comforting in hearing mundane things that happened in the world. It gave him a moment to think it wasn’t all so bad.

The sun had gotten lower in the sky, seeping into the bar with a warm glow. Unfortunately for Javier, it signaled to many of the girls that it was high time they leave, including the one girl he never even got the chance to buy a drink for. Nearly every girl had left with only one remaining.

Javier eyed her for a second. A lovely face with her hair done back in a french braid. A plain white t-shirt underneath a flannel, some well-worn jeans that had started to fray at the knees, boots with a little caked on dust and dirt, her stetson resting on the bar top. But what really caught Javier’s eyes was the belt buckle she wore.

Down south, those meant something. It wasn’t just for show if you ran with the right crowd; or in this case, rode. They were won and worn with pride after a competition for an event of riding or wrangling. Javi had seen his fair share of people wearing them growing up and knew the skill of the wearer was no joke.

She had just finished what looked like to be a mixed drink, probably a rum and coke. Simple, no fuss kind of drink, Javi thought to himself. He found he tended to like that in a woman. The bartender placed another one in front of her.

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t order this.” Her voice was cool and clear, enough to perk Javier’s ears.

The old man smiled cunningly before gesturing towards Javi, “Compliments of the gentlemen.”

The woman turned her head to look Javier in the eye. He suddenly felt like he was in the spotlight. The old man probably knew he had meant the other lady, but ignored him. The woman rolled her eyes and grabbed the glass after looking at Javi for a few seconds. He kept rather still, sort of like a deer in headlights. Something about her seemed… so familiar.

“You’re trying to figure out where you know me from. Isn’t that right, Javier Peña?” There was that voice again, cool like summer rain. She said his name with an easy roll of her tongue, a native Spanish speaker. It set off bells in Javi’s head

In his line of work, it wasn’t great if someone knew your name as a perfect stranger. A little relief washed over him when she spoke again after taking a sip of her complimentary drink.

“Don’t worry. I won’t hold it against you…”

Now Javier was racking his brain, still not having said a word. She knew him, and apparently he knew her. Was she in the DEA at some point? No, there were so few women he would at least remember the faces of the women he encountered. He must’ve known her from his time in the States.

“I-- uh. You-” Javi hated not knowing things.

The mystery woman laughed. It was nice… really nice if he was being honest. But it was so god damn familiar. It was killing Javi at this point.

“Alright, don’t blow a fuse. I thought you big hot shot DEA guys would have better memory recall,” She tipped her head back and leaned into her chair. Positively eating up the fact that Javier was feeling out of the loop, “It's Y/N… Y/N Parra de Sanchez. I live a few houses away from you. We went to school together.”

Holy shit. This is the girl from next door? Well, “next door” was used loosely, especially in Texas. She lived a few miles up the road from the entrance of his family’s small ranch.

He looked at her in awe. “Y/N. Your family raised the horses, right?” Javier inquired slowly, phrasing his statement more like a question. Brief memories from his youth came back to him: Him and a girl about his age with pigtails running through a field; him and a group of kids at their confirmation ceremony at their Roman Catholic church, among them a girl who seemed to hate the lace trim of her dress. But that girl was quiet. Hadn’t quite grown into herself yet. Nowhere near as confident as the other girls in their class. Certainly not the woman he saw before him.

You gave him a quick smile. “Yeah. That was us. Nowadays I’m a little busy with work so we just house horses at the barn.”

“Holy shit. Pardon my language, but it’s been what? Fifteen years since I saw you last?”

You visibly shuddered at the number of the years, “Oh lord. We’re not that old? But yeah. I guess it’s been a while. And I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, but I couldn’t help but poke a little fun at you. Not everyday a girl gets a bonafide hero to buy her a drink.”

Javier gave a huff at the word “hero”. He had sort of hoped you would be above all that. From what he remembered of that young girl, she always surrounded herself with a set of stable, genuine friends and people. Javier was always a little too preoccupied by some other girls who were a little more grown, to put it mildly. It had come to bite him in the ass since the closest person he could call a friend was his former partner Steve, who was all the way in Florida.

Possibly reading the discomfort in Javier’s disposition, you continued, “We’ll have to catch up some more another time.” Javier snapped out of his thought to see you placing your hat back atop your head.

“Leaving so soon?” Javi let his voice drop a little bit as he spoke, hoping he could entice you to stay one more drink.

Taking a brief look around the empty bar before continuing to put on your jacket, you chuckled, “Yeah. Unfortunately this chica rises with the roosters.” You dropped a few bills on the bar before walking up close to Javier, who was still somehow sitting. “Me encantó verte otra vez, Agente Peña,” When you got up close enough, you placed a hand on one of his shoulders and leaned in to place a gentle kiss goodbye on his cheek -- something the two of you were accustomed to in your Latin households -- making Javi from blushing a bit even as you continued with, “Que tengas una linda noche.”

I loved seeing you again, Agent Peña… Have a nice night.

As you walked away, you tipped your hat to the boys and strode off leaving Javi sitting there for one of the few moments in his life where he found himself dumbstruck.

“Boy you got it bad.” The bartender’s teasing tone snapped Javi out of his daze.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Javi shot back as he tugged his favorite leather jacket on and threw down money.

The old man smiled at him once more. “Y/N is a catch and a half. Comes in here often too.”

Javi retorted with, “I meant for you to give the drink to the girl she was talking to.”

“That woman has a fella who don’t take too kindly to other guys even looking at her, let alone buying her drinks. Besides, she’s a dime a dozen. And word is you could use a real girl. Y/N fits that bill.” This guy had some serious cajones.

Now Javi was getting irritated. What was with everyone all of a sudden knowing his business before he did? “Oh yeah, and who the fuck told you that?” Not holding back the bite in his voice.

“Chucho.”

Chucho was Jesús Peña. Javier’s father.

Javier brought his hand up to rub his forehead in frustration. As if his Pops didn’t try and persuade him enough about his career choices, he had the bartenders playing matchmaker for him. “Cabrón.” Javi muttered under his breath as he began to walk out.

The fresh air felt good against Javier’s skin. The warmth from the whiskey had flooded his face a little bit. As he walked to his truck he at least tried to believe that’s what it was. It was the whiskey making his face warm and not the fact that sweet little you from way back when was now a woman. And not just any woman, the kind who was bold enough to kiss an old family friend whom she hadn’t seen in nearly fifteen years right on the cheek then saunter off with her hips swaying and ass looking as good as it did in those jeans.

Whiskey be damned. You looked good, Javi thought to himself as he drove home, passed a certain someone’s house that was tucked back behind some Texas palmetto trees and a few coral beans.

Catching up later can’t come soon enough.

Taglist: @mcueveryday

#pedro pascal #narcos au #narcos fanfiction #javier peña

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