#plus they have too much potential for trauma from this. im not gonna pass up on traumatizing my blorbo!!

[ardienothesieno]

OC Writing

idk im bored and procrastinating and the guys wont get out of my head

uhhhhhh tw mildly suggestive

lesbian robot and their cool girlfriend have a conversation and some not-so-cool shit happens

angst angst angst angst angst--

They were interrupted from their writing by the sudden entrance of someone into their chamber. They dismissed the screen hovering in front of them, spinning towards the access shaft to find--

"Hey Ash," Fireflies said, head poking out of the tunnel.

If Ashes from Above had been built with a mouth, they would be beaming. They slowly released the zero gravity in their chamber, gently lowering Fireflies to the floor, and brought their puppet in close. Fireflies laughed, grabbed the sides of Ash's face, and booped the tip of her mask against their forehead. "Morning, love."

Ash let out a giggle, and threw their arms around her. "You haven't come to visit for 4 cycles! I was starting to get worried." "Your overseers follow me constantly! You could have checked in any time." "I did!!" Ash huffed. "But you said you don't like being watched all the time, so I tried to leave you alone. Mostly."

They pulled away from the embrace, wheeling away to hover over Fireflies. "So what brings you to finally break your solitude?" They teased. "Ran out of groceries? Wanted to come lecture me on my lack of work as of late?" "Am I not allowed to just come talk to a friend?" "Friend??" Ash kneed Fireflies in the side of the face (gently) and spun away to a higher height. "We're just friends now, you say?" Fireflies laughed. "Sorry. Best friend." Ash scoffed, causing Fireflies to laugh even harder. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Best of best friends who is such a bestest best friend that I commit unthinkable karmic sins for them." "Better," they responded, looping around their mechanical arm in mid-air.

"But seriously, why today? I thought you usually took the first of the week to paint." "Um. Usually, yes. But, I, um... I... I'm just having a bad day."

Ash stopped spinning and immediately brought their puppet up to her, reaching behind her head to unclasp and gently lift off her intricate golden mask. Fireflies did look more tired then usual. Dark circles surrounded her drooping eyelids, and her lips were dry and cracked. Ash took her face in their hands, tenderly. "...Is this about Blanket?"

It had been a little over one year-cycle since the mass ascension, when their friend and Fireflies' cousin A Blanket, 32 Stitches per Row had ascended with the majority of society. Ash had tried to convince him to stay behind. They had tried to convince all of them to stay behind. Only 152 of their citizens had listened. Who had trusted in Ash's abilities to care for them after the collapse of society. And they were doing a mighty fine job, if they were to say for themself!

"I... Sort of. It's partially about Blanket, but there are some... some other things." "Do you want to talk about any of it?" Fireflies looked away, pursing her lips. "Maybe later." "Can I do anything, then? To make you feel better?" "Just... sit. And talk to me. Please?"

And so they did. They curled up with Fireflies in a corner of their chamber, Fireflies fidgeting with a pearl, Ash talking about everything that had happened in the past 4 cycles. They talked about their conversations with Lingering Fog and Smoke upon Droplets of Rain, their ongoing argument with East of Eden. They talked about how Calling Voids had been rambling about philosophy in the group channel, and how it had gotten so annoying they had to mute it. They talked about their remaining citizens, and all of the weird things that they had caught on their overseers.

"I've noticed some people acting a bit strange. Not noticeable enough to be a concern, but a good portion of my inhabitants have been... quieter, lately. Some of them have been visiting the temples more often. I know it's irrational... but I do worry that some of them intend to ascend sometime in the near future."

Fireflies tensed, hand curling around the pearl in her grasp. "I... will admit that there are... rumors." "Rumors?? Of people wishing to ascend????" "Yeah. Some... some people have been talking about how you don't have the resources to keep the colony going. That we need to ascend before it's too late and we all starve to death." "But that's nonsense!" Ash cried, sitting up straight, Fireflies sliding off of their lap with a grunt. "Did no one read my sustainability proposals?? I have solutions for all of that!! There are enough stores to last two and half year-cycles, and I have plans for when they run out! Purposed organisms, to hunt lizards and other wild creatures in lower altitudes! Factories that could be repurposed into greenhouses and mills! I have everything planned out, and backup plans for if those plans don't work!!" Fireflies grabbed Ash's hands, lowering them and squeezing gently. "I know, I know love, I'm sorry. I trust you. I know you'll keep us all safe. But not everyone has the same faith in you as I do." "I just don't... I've worked so hard..." "I know. I know. I'm so sorry. It's going to be okay." "Should I rewrite my proposals? Make them clearer, make my ideas more palatable? Make sure there's nothing I missed, that I can keep everyone happy and alive and safe and--" "Ash!" Fireflies grasped their hands tighter and yanked their attention to her face, her dark eyes, the small stripes on her snout. "Shhh. It's okay." There was a beat of silence. "Promise me," Ash whispered. "That even if everyone else leaves, that you won't. That you'll stay with me until you can't anymore." Fireflies paused. "I... okay. Yes. I- I won't leave you behind, Ash."

Ash stared at Fireflies before slowly nodding and slumping back against their arm. "Let's... talk about something else. Anything else." Fireflies whispered, snuggling up to Ash's shoulder. "Anything?" "Anything."

Ash thought for a second. "Um. I have a routine maintenance check today? My two remaining mechanics should be going through my structure around now, and will send me any repair orders that need to be executed in the future." "Mmmm. Anything else?" "My overseers have reported 72 yeek sightings over the past 20 cycles." Fireflies chuckled. "That is pretty random." "You said anything."

They laid there for several minutes in silence, enjoying each other's company. Quietly holding each other close. Ash received 17 alerts while they were lying there with Fireflies, of which they all ignored. The only thing more important then this moment would be something completely catastrophic, like a system failure. And the chances of that happening were so slim...

They were beginning to think that Fireflies had fallen asleep when her citizen drone beeped and she sat up with a start. They turned away as Fireflies opened her messages. One of the main rules of their relationship was privacy. Fireflies didn't want Ash peeking through her private conversations and files, and Ash didn't want Fireflies wandering through their memory complexes without permission.

"I. Um. P-probably have to go soon." Ash turned back to Fireflies, and noticed how panicked they looked from reading whatever message they had gotten. "Are you okay?" "Yeah. Uh- yeah. Just... have to go to a meeting. Sort of. It's... complicated. I don't know." Fireflies looked more and more stressed with each passing second. "...Alright. You should probably get going then." "No!! No, I- I have a few more minutes," Fireflies blurted, grabbing Ash's hands again. "...Besides, there's something else I want to do first." "Oh?"

Fireflies pressed her lips to Ash's face. "Oh..." Fireflies laughed, breathily, and wrapped her arms around Ash. "It's been too long since we did anything like this." "Agreed," Ash whispered, burying their hands in Fireflies' hair-tentacles and pulling her forehead against theirs.

Another alert popped up. They dismissed it.

Fireflies made a small noise and pulled Ash even closer, pressing them against her. Her breath was warm and fast on Ash's artificial skin as she frantically whispered, "I love you. I love you so much, Ash. I love--"

- - -

13 Fireflies Amongst Falling Leaves let out a sob as Ash's puppet went limp in her arms. As the chamber lights went out. As the structure around her shuddered and went silent.

She clutched the avatar of the person she loved as the machinery that made up that person deactivated. As the temperature around her started to drop. As Ashes from Above died.

And Fireflies cried.

Her sobs were broken minutes later by a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see Hundreds of Birds Trapped in a Vortex, one of Ash's mechanics... and the ringleader of the shutdown.

Ash had been right in their suspicions. A good portion of people were worried, and wanted to ascend. Almost all of them did, at that point.

Many of the remaining citizens had spent the last hundred cycles working on raising their karma. Slowly packing things away, shutting down factories and machines, desperately trying to avoid Ash's notice. It would break their heart to see them all to leave, the ringleaders had said. It was kindest for them not to know, the ringleaders had said.

Fireflies was told to distract Ash while the mechanics shut down their systems. And here she was, Ash's puppet lying dead in her arms.

She would have stayed. If they hadn't made the decision to kill Ash when they left. She would have stayed with the iterator she loved until the day she died.

She had no choice, now.

"I'm sorry," Vortex whispered. "I'm so sorry, Fireflies. It was the kindest thing we could do." He grabbed her arm and pulled her to standing, Ash's body falling to the ground with a clang. "Come on, we should get going." "I-- but--" "They're in a better place now, Fireflies. Perhaps we will meet them again in the Great Beyond. Come along now." "W-wait."

Fireflies twisted out of his grasp and stumbled over to Ash's body. She knelt down and shakily removed her scarf, wrapping it around their neck. Their hands trembled as they reached up to slide Ash's metallic eyelids shut. She pressed one last kiss to their forehead, choking out a goodbye to unhearing sound sensors.

Fireflies stood back up and walked over to Vortex, who was standing by the main access door.

The rest of the city was waiting in the mines, ready to venture down to the golden ocean at the bottom of the world.

13 Fireflies Amongst Falling Leaves left the puppet chamber of Ashes from Above for the last time.

Goodbye, my love. I'll see you in the Great Beyond.

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[akampana]

Continuation of this ask

Bedivere x Arturia - Ship it

What made you ship it?

TBH I was one of those few people who shipped it based on that like 2 second scene at the end of FSN. The Camelot Singularity just reinforced it. A lot came from the original Arthurian legend as well. Bedivere is similarly insanely loyal as he is in the game, and like in Fate lore, he’s been with Arthur longer than most.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

He journeyed so far for so long just to see her smile OH MY GOD BRB IM SOBBING HOLY CRAP CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE—

I’m a sucker for intensely loyal knights and I will always be. ALWAYS.

THE ANGST POTENTIALLLLLL but also THE FLUFF POTENTIALLLL

This man loved his king so bloody intensely. So strongly that his desire to see her survived the test of time. To be loved so much, so unconditionally for a thousand and a half years? Gods, that’s just too much, man. ;-;

And I absolutely adore how much it means to him to remain her knight, even if he tends to be insecure about the limb that he lacks, and how he believes he is nothing special in comparison with everyone else. I love that Arturia recognizes his strength and his worth, even if he himself can’t see it.

THE ENTIRE CONFRONTATION IN THE THRONE ROOM LET ME TELL YOU I WAS CRYING SOOOOO HARD THROUGHOUT THAT IK NIT EVEN KIDDING

THIS, the MINDBREAK Arturia goes through when she tries to remember

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I think that THIS SHIP NEEDS MORE LOVE AND I REALLY OUGHT TO CONTRIBUTE

All the other answers below cut!

Irisviel x Arturia - Ship It

What made you ship it?

I think I was bound to the moment I watched Fate Zero. When I was younger it was overshadowed by the feels Diarturia brought and not to mention Kiritsugu and Iri but this ship is damn good on its own.

What sold it though, is the argument she and Kiritsugu have in Episode 16, right after the last Saber and Lancer fight. Irisviel, who we all know loves her husband so much, forced Kiritsugu to answer Saber. That’s just how important Arturia was to her.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I think they both found in each other something they themselves lack. It’s actually kind of funny. Arturia is human, and yet she’s so heavily consumed by her ideals that she doesn’t act like one. Irisviel, on the other hand, is not human, and yet everything that she does and wants to do is exactly that.

Throughout the anime, Being with Iri puts Saber into such mundane, ordinary situations that it teaches her to live. The suits, the escorting, being a passenger instead of a driver, appreciating the water by the seashore, etc. It's like the woman wants to leave her with some appreciation for the world, especially when she herself doesn’t have all that much time left.

On Irisviel’s part, I think she found in Saber the companionship she would have wanted from Kiritsugu during the last few days she remained on the Earth. Arturia had been the perfect knight in shining armor, taking Irisviel around to see the world as much as they could amidst a war. If they’d just had more time, I have no doubt Arturia would have taken Irisviel even more places, you know?

It makes me sad :( but in a good way.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I’m pretty sure Irisviel would wear the pants in this relationship ya know what I mean? Hahaha

Much as I love this ship, I think that it becomes all the more valuable because of how it ended. To each other, they were this brief, fleeting feeling of happiness. A love that was so short and yet so strong.

Shirou x Arturia - Don't Ship it

Hooooooo boi. Hear me out, mkay ? But this is just my personal opinion so pls no hate

Why don't you ship it?

I’m gonna start out by saying I don’t think I need to, tbh. Hahaha there’s enough content for this ship being fed to us, so my liking it or not is immaterial. But the reason is well...I watched FSN and Shirou x Saber was...not the best thing about it (the best thing about it was the soundtrack omg iconic) Shirou comes off as a bit of a misogynist, and kind of immature, and the whole time it’s like he doesn’t really listen to Arturia at all. Plus, it’s kind of like he just likes her looks at times. The final deciding factor was the date scene. That was just unbearable.

But then I go online and I see all this good stuff about them. And my friend ships them cause they’re canon, right? So, I’m like okay, what if I judged too quickly, let’s play the VN...and I did. And I still didn’t like him with Saber at all. So, I played the next route, watched the next anime, trying to redeem 1st route Shirou as much as I could but it just....didn’t happen. I think I can safely say I tried to like them. I really did. But no.

What would have made you like it?

Removing the misogyny and the immaturity and letting him listen to her. Like he should have.

At no point in their interactions did it feel like they were standing on equal ground, ever. Either he was speaking over her or the opposite. So less of that and a lot more respect.

And when you compare this relationship to what he has with like with his other two love interests, it makes this ship fall completely flat. It’s pretty...bland and honestly kind of shallow. It’s like the story just tells you they’re in love but there’s no answer to why they’re in love. Make him fall in love with her for her without necessarily forcing his need to save everyone on her.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

I may not like how they got there, but in the end Arturia was able to pass peacefully.

I acknowledge that Shirou was important and made a change in her life.

That ending scene where they meet after so long, NGL is pretty sweet.

A lot of my headcanons happen post-Shirou, so there’s also that.

Archer x Rin -Ship it

What made you ship it?

Tsundere x Cynic has gotta be one of the best dynamics out there.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

His true identity. The fact that she dragged him all the way across space and time to return as her Servant, that’s just bloody fate at work.

The fact that he keeps acknowledging she’s a strong Master despite his later conduct in UBW.

Archer is ridiculously crass and Rin is easily riled up. In the Fifth Holy Grail War, they had the best Master-Servant relationship period. They have this explosive chemistry that just works so well.

When he smiles at her at the end of the route, and you just know that Tohsaka’s gonna be stubborn enough to make sure Shirou doesn’t end up going down the exact same path.

I think it’s sweet that he ends up going along with her whims because he secretly likes housework.

THE PRINCESS CARRY/ CATCH. MAN OH MAN.

Unlike the previous ship mentioned here, these two actually stand on equal ground with each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't think it's exactly an unpopular opinion, but I think they really ought to have more official content y'know? Rin is important in every route, and Archer's the actual climax of UBW and also entirely significant across three routes.

Medusa x Sakura - Don't ship it

Why don't you ship it?

Because while journeying through the routes, I always saw Rider as more of a best friend/sort of motherly figure to Sakura.

Or that Rider fulfilled the kind of relationship that she wanted to have with Rin, while Sakura unknowingly filled the void Medusa's sisters left in her life. I thought she was more of a guardian angel really, not a romantic interest. Kind of like how Heracles was to Illya.

What would have made you like it?

If I could maybe forget about the threesome with Shirou and the implied romantic feelings Rider has for him in Ataraxia that would be great.

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Sakura deserves all the happiness in the world and I really do believe that Rider could fulfill that.

This ship DEFINITELY DEFINITELYYYYYY NEEDS MORE CONTENT

Diarmuid x Cú - Ship it

What made you ship it?

oooh this probably sounds surprising since based on my content you'd think, no i dont ship this BUT I DOOOOOOO (i just happen to hc them as bros more often)

Honestly what did make me ship it is the parallels.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

IMO They have the biggest potential for hurt/comfort amongst all the ships mentioned here.

They can help each other get through their trauma. Their whole relationship would be extremely healing and supportive.

I love that Diarmuid seems to have idolized Cú Chulainn at some point and honestly who wouldn't be honored to stand beside him, no?

They could be up to the funniest shenanigans because Cú is chaos and Diarmuid would absolutely be an enabler because when he isn't angst-ing he's super damn chill.

Bros being bros hahahah...unless?

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Not really. Maybe that I think Lancer Diar and Cascu would get along better and Saber Diar and Lancer Cu would also get along better but honestly any form is good this ship is good

[lumilasi]

I'm just curious what your thoughts on Shigaraki are. Im praying he gets control back. I would be so sad if the body take over is dragged out. It looks like they are going the save Tomura route which is great but my thought is that means we won't get him back till the end.. I swear if they have Eri rewind him 😤 I hope it's OK to ask you this, if not please ignore and accept my apologies and have a good day. ☀️🌞

Ha ha it’s alright! I don’t mind talking about my favorite character, and musing out my thoughts about what might happen. Of course, keep in mind this is just my thoughts/viewpoint, and I would never say anything I muse out about this is a fact; I’m not the writer after all.  I’m just going over the story bits we already know and considering what could possibly be the story-direction we’re going towards! 

(Also warning, this is probs gonna get a little long-winded because I have a lot of thoughts about this, and Tomura and Izuku’s stories are pretty tightly tied to the larger one at hand about the world they live in.)

To give you a short summary: I think Tomura might indeed stay possessed for a while, and perhaps Izuku could team up with his friends to help save him from this possession. I also don’t think Eri should be using her powers a whole lot right now in the story, given her trauma and age. She needs to heal herself first to avoid unintentionally causing more damage to her mental state. Trauma recovery takes time, often more than what we’ve seen so far in the manga. 

And now for the long-winded explanation (under the cut so this post isn’t ridiculously long:)

So, considering the overall narration and themes Horikoshi has used in the manga, it feels reasonable to say that one of the end goals in all likeness is to “save” those the current society would not bother saving, including Tomura, and especially Tomura, considering his character and story kind of symbolizes the overall failures and problems of this society. His BG touches on so many bad things and problems wrong with the way their world runs currently.

(Apathy from people being over-reliant on heroes, lack of proper help for mental health, hero idol worship that makes people neglect their families over their duty as a hero, abusive parental figures, dehumanization, etc.)

Izuku’s main goal, the goal of his story after all, is to become the greatest hero as the beginning narration expressed. The most reasonable way to do that given the things we’ve been shown about this world, is to do something none of the current heroes would; save those deemed “unfit” to be saved. It’s not only something personally fitting to Izuku’s character, but holds larger symbolic meaning for the overall narrative. I actually saw somebody discuss this particular topic in a post a while back, that put it better than I ever could. 

(click the link if you’re curious to read it, it’s a pretty interesting one)

Now, what that saving means in practice is likely going to be more complicated, since the people in question have done bad things that deserve consequences, and I won’t deny that. 

However, one of the biggest issues is, that the way this society functions seems to kind of be the very source of these villains doing bad things. If only somebody would’ve bothered to pick up this scared kid walking on the street before AFO got to him, none of what is happening now would have happened. (or at least, it would’ve been someone else in worst case scenario)

So, to go back on what you actually asked about; I do think that in order to reach the goal Izuku was set, he does need to free Tomura from that possession, that’s probably the least he can and should do. 

In that sense, it would honestly make sense it would happen close to the end of the story as the best way to symbolize Izuku becoming the greatest hero - saving even the person who everybody else likely deemed unworthy of saving. 

Not to mention, I recall Horikoshi mentioning that he planned the ending to be something where heroes and villains have to team up to reach an end goal of sorts. Izuku teaming up with Tomura’s friends to save Tomura could fit into this concept. 

As for Eri...her rewind powers are bit of a...yeah. I also have lot of thoughts about that so bear with me.

They’re pretty difficult from narrative perspective, because they come off very “deus ex machina” or “magical fix all” that removes any stakes, and I’ve seen from the fandom people wishing Eri to just magically fix everything each time somebody is horribly injured, which...that’s a tad disturbing to me? Asking this little traumatized girl who’s seen lot of horrid injuries and gore to view MORE of it potentially, to heal your favorites? Even if she’d want to do it willingly (which she probably would out of gratitude) she’s, what, six? 

(yes I know this is fiction and I might be taking this a bit too seriously, but I am also looking at this from the narration point of view, and her doing these magic fixes would also actually be bad for the story narration IMO, I’ll explain below)

She’s just a child, she probably can’t really grasp yet what she can and can’t handle, when it comes to her trauma, and what is and isn’t good for her.  Eri “magically fixing everything” is an absolute no from me, both for her own sake and from narration perspective. 

Like I get it, anybody would be sad when their fave gets hurt, I am too, but Eri’s a traumatized child, and tbh having her magically fix everything at her current state would in my eyes go against the point the narrative is trying to make, about the need for change and doing things better from the previous generation. Her rewinding these “changes” in the story, as a traumatized kid, is basically holding up the status quo that is harmful. Using somebody’s remarkable power out of duty to do good while potentially ignoring the impact it can have on the individuals own well-being, which basically will hindrance their ability to do said good in the future.

I can let fixing Mirio’s quirk pass, because he wasn’t horrifically injured in a manner that could potentially trigger Eri’s traumas. It was still a tad risky in my eyes to make this kid do it, because even if she did train for it, what if things went horribly wrong and she made Mirio disappear? That would’ve just caused her unnecessary mental anguish. They basically got lucky there that Hori was kind enough to make it work. 

I would not mind so much, if the person having this power wasn’t a traumatized kid basically, in a story that is about a flawed system and the harmful effects it has on the individuals living in it with the way it currently runs. 

So personally, I don’t want to see Eri use her powers at this point in that manner. She’s still recovering herself and probably not mentally ready to handle these things. Once she’s in a mentally better place, older and more capable of understanding what is or isn’t good for her, then she can go ahead and rewind people’s lost limbs left and right and use her quirk as the next generation superhero healer. But not right now, not when she’s still just a kid with horrible trauma.

 Plus, I feel her point in the story was less about her power, and more about her parallels with Tomura; she could’ve become like him if she hadn’t been saved, and in turn, Tenko could’ve been like her if he had been saved. 

So, from narrative point of view, It feels likely (though I could be wrong of course) that Tomura will remain possessed for a while, and Izuku’s end goal (or one of them) is to save him from the possession, and perhaps they’ll work together to defeat AFO. This last part I’m not that sure about though, given we still don’t have all the puzzle pieces. There’s probably a lot more to be learned about AFO himself, that will have an impact on how the story goes. We’ll see.

So yeah. Sorry this is kind of long, but sometimes you need lot of text to properly convey your thoughts xD Plus I’m just kinda used to writing long pieces of text. 

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[momtaku]

SnK Chapter 92 Poll Results

The chapter 92 poll closed with 500 reported entries.

RATE THE CHAPTER (486 responses)

This chapter had a better reception than the last one. Seeing Reiner and Zeke was cited as a factor by many. Also the action was hard to resist.

that was an interesting way to set up a new story arc. i don’t really know whether i liked it or not, and i’m really eager to see what’s going on with our main crew. i’m gonna reserve most of my judgement until there’s a bigger picture though, so i can fully see what’s going on and why Isayama decided to start like this.

I have no idea what’s going on anymore.

Switching perspectives and presenting intel for readers from new, fresh and different povs is an ability Isayama has like no other, tho can be criticized for its abruptness and the kinda unexplained way it came crashing to the story..but nevertheless I enjoyed it and I think Isayama aced it.

It’s odd, I can see the effort made for us to connect with these new characters. But that just isn’t working for me sadly. While this and the previous chapters have been useful, I would have preferred more SC content. In particular reactions to the recent losses

I have no idea if it was intentional or not but Zeke’s dramatic “War is bad” line right as he chucked a fistful of rocks at the boats was hilarious. Like stahp Isayama I can’t handle all this Edge.

Zeke did the superhero landing, now I can die in peace

I’m grateful as we’ve finally seen Zeke’s method of turning humans into titans and I believe it has nothing to do with his titan form since he’s able to use it without shifting

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REINER’S NEW LOOK? (482 responses)

Unsurprisingly, 86% of the fandom found something here to agree on. Reiner scored extremely well on the scale from “No Thanks” to “Hello Daddy”!

Reiner is getting hotter with each passing chapter. I fear we may rapidly be approaching a state of ultimate hotness that may be too much for us mere mortals to handle.

I am sad that “Hot Dayum Daddy-o” Is not an acceptable answer for Reiner’s hotness rating.

  WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ZEKE’S SHORT HAIR? (483 responses)

While the results were still favorable, Zeke’s long luscious locks were missed by a significant portion of the fandom. The scale from “No Thanks” to “Hella Hot” had the largest percentage of respondents sat right in the middle.

  THE DRUGGED ELDIANS BEING USED AS WEAPONS WAS THE MOST TRAGIC MOMENT OF THE CHAPTER. WHAT WAS THE #2? (483 responses)

I was very curious what this result would be. I watch the poll numbers shift back and forth between sympathy for Reiner and the big picture view of Eldians as whole. In the end “The world’s view of Eldians” narrowly edged out Reiner’s flashback and comment about walls at the 2nd most tragic moment.

Seeing what actually fighting within the walls has done to Reiner–his trauma, etc. was an excellent contrast to the relative innocence the new cast gives off, and it’s heartbreaking to consider that the Warriors we know may have once been the same way. Eren & co. please arrive promptly and save them.

Reiners flashback scene was the most impactful moment in my opinion. It was so heartbreaking.

I thought poop machine was bad, titan carpet bombing is even more wtf

Devastating. To see the Eldians being used as mindless weapons was severely disturbing. And Zeke finally realising that War is indeed a terrible thing. 

These chapters are hella intense and enlightening about the world outside. It’s still really sick though. Totally sick I can’t even.

  LAST MONTH THERE WAS OVERWHELMING SUPPORT FOR GABI. HAS THIS CHAPTER CHANGED YOUR OPINION OF HER? (445 responses)

Gabi’s glee in the last chapter didn’t sit well with some people. In this chapter she was more sedate, but still very much in it to win it, even accusing Falco of having ulterior motives for rescuing that dying enemy soldier. While the majority claim to have had no real shift in opinion, I urge you to look at the next question to see how popularity numbers have changed.

Her sympathy for her older warriors. that line with “Reiner… be careful” killed me

Her character seems more sympathetic. She was kind of a brat last chapter. This chapter she seems to actually see the realities of war.I was supposed to have an opinion on her?

I lost a lot of respect for her when she didn’t support Falco’s choice to help the soldier from the other side

Something that stuck out to me was Gabi’s concern for Reiner, “Reiner… be careful.”   It’s a bit odd, she wants his power (aka eat him) but is concerned for him?

I think it was kinda satisfying to see Gabi’s view on the world change since she seemed so cocky before hand.

I was supposed to have an opinion on her?

  WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE OF THE NEW RECRUITS? (471 responses)

In the last chapter poll, support for Gabi is overwhelming. She had 38% of the popular vote and Colt was second with 25%. Falco was sitting in 3rd with only 19%. But look at how opinions have changed! Falco is new best boy with 37.2% picking him as favorite while Gabi has dropped more than 10 percentage points.

Gabi and Falco warmed on me but not enough. I still want to spend the whole volume on Marley before moving on.

It was really disturbing to realize that Annie, Bertolt, Reiner, and Marcel were once probably just like Gabi, Falco, Udo, etc. They might have been idealistic, prone to kindness even to their enemies (like Falco)…

  HAS REINER’S LUCK FINALLY RUN OUT? (474 responses)

The overwhelming majority think Reiner’s streak of immortality will continue. This is one of those times that I disagree. I think Reiner’s titan age plus the severity of his hit may have weakened him to the point of no return.

I’m still sad about Reiner’s potential fate but I have to get prepared for him to die next chapter or in the chapter after. Poor boy only dedicated his life to an imposed duty since childhood without a break, on top of losing everybody he loved.

Since Reiner’s been knocked out (again XD) it could be a good time for the next chapter to open up with a flashback and end with him waking up?  He’s been kept alive for a while, and there’s obviously a reason for it.

Maybe im in denial but Reiner cant die yet, he’s the warrior that knows the enemy best and needs to teach someone to use the 3dmg (If he hasnt already in these 4 years)

  WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO INHERIT REINER’S TITAN FORM? (477 responses)

Last month 39.3% thought Reiner would keep his power. Confidence has grown slightly in chapter 92 with 42.3% thinking he’ll stay around a bit longer.

i hope reiner will not gonna die because of gabi , if isayama want to kill him no matter what i want him to die like a hero

I really don’t want Reiner and Zeke to be replaced, as I don’t see how that would add anything to the story and many conflicts would never be resolved.

  WHO DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO INHERIT ZEKE’S TITAN FORM? (473 responses)

Last month 55.4% thought Zeke would keep his power. That number has increased to 58.6% with The Jaeger Brothers Reunion Tour cited as the primary reason. 

The real difference here is that last month 26% thought Colt would be his successor. That number is down to only 16.3% with Falco gaining the difference.

I wish they would show why zeke was the holder of the key to the whole story.

I don’t think Zeke is going to get eaten, not soon, at least. He’s got so many plot points that require him

I can’t wait until Eren re-unites with Zeke.

Perhaps I’m really reaching, but I hope Zeke was genuine when he said he’d save Eren.

I refuse to bid Zeke farwell before he gets to see his lil bro once more

DA BEAST DADDY IS DA BEST DADDY.

  WE GOT A LOOK AT GALLIARD’S EXTREME AGILITY. DO YOU THINK HE ATE YMIR? (474 responses)

Last month 39.8% of people thought Ymir was dead. While this question isnt identical, it carries the same thought. 69.2% of people think Galliard is a new and unique shifter and not a recycled Ymir.

While Gaillard is agile, Ymir’s titan didn’t have the special jaw design, which would be weird AF if she really was the “Jaw Titan.” So I’m pretty sure she’s still safe

I feel 50/50 about the probabilities of Galliard eating Ymir, but the agility he has is not a proof, i don’t believe the “every titan has a unique ability” thing.

I hope Ymir isn’t dead not just bc she’s my bae, but bc, contrary to Reiner to who I don’t see relevant to the story anymore, so, Ymir is…

YAMS my man dude bro I wanna know the dealy-o with Ymir ASAP thx

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE PIECK AND GALLIARD’S HUMAN FORMS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER? (475 responses)

People are curious, but seeing Pieck and Galliard as humans is not as important as seeing the main cast.

I’m really hoping to see Galliard and Pieck’s human forms soon. Since there were many parallels between RBA and EMA and Zeke is said to be like a warrior Levi, I’m hoping for Galliard and Pieck to be like some warrior versions of Erwin and Hange.

I do want to see Galliard and Pieck’s human forms but not if it means we get another Marley chapter. It’s time to go back to the real protagonists.

HOW READY ARE YOU FOR THE MANGA TO MOVE BACK TO OUR MAIN CAST? (486 responses)

I’ll leave this one without my usual commentary :D

All I hoped for was to at least see Reiner and Zeke again. But I’m ready to see my children again next month. :’)

honestly I really want to see Eren’s side again, but I think it would be extremely entertaining to discover what exactly changed within the Walls and the Scouting Legion from Reiner/Zeke/Marley’s point of view once they will actually attack them. It would mean more surprises which is always good, no matter how much I’m dying to see what our other characters look like now.

please @ god i miss our main cast babies

I can’t wait to see Eren & Co! \>o</ Maybe Armin had grew his hair into a Ponytail too!

back to eren, please

fans are making too much drama for the recent lack of the main trio and the 104th squad. I’m more happy to learn about new characters outside the island and see differents points of view about the world

It’s all well and good to introduce new characters but this late in the story, after all these very dramatic plot/character changes and massive mystery revelations it’s a bit… abrupt, to suddenly be with all these new people.  I feel like it’s a different series and no one told me about it.

WHICH CHARACTERS DO YOU GENERALLY ENJOY THE MOST (484 responses)

Last month 42.1% cited the 104th as faves; 33% favored the vets; 10.9% said the warriors. This month the warriors saw the a nice increase, moving up to 14.7%.

Final thoughts

There are more chapter thoughts in this post. If I didn’t publish your comment, please know that I read it and I thank you for the support. Even though these polls are more silly than serious, I enjoy getting a perspective that’s wider than my own. Thank you!

[juichi-bey]

Blight’s Back Story

Im just gonna add this little thing for @ichiro-artosaki bcuz for reasons. But yeah. Here you go fam ama go sleep. But honestly dont bother reading it if you find it boring cuz honestly its so god damn long.

The origin of who Archer Reynolds, aka Blight, is, begins way before he was even born, and begin with the history of another man, Arthur Reynolds, who would not only become his father... but also his creator.

Arthur Reynolds was a renown genius in the field of genetics. He attended one of the most prestigious univerisites and advances various studies and researches in said fields, greatly contributing to the history of mankind in both medical and scientific ways. The world expected so much of the young genius, that it was a baffling mystery to everyone when he chose to not persue any type of career upon graduating as top of his class, yet the answer was simple. The man wanted nothing more than to accomplish his one and only the goal, the reason he persued genetic so much: To engineer the perfect human being.

As the young student lay dormant inside his tent, he was awoken by the sound of a heavy explosion in the distance, as a bright light filled the dark sky for a small moment. The scientist rushed over, to find a meteor at the location of impact, a finding he would take with him to his lab for analyzing. Upon further studies he’d discover something that he’d imagine would help him reach his goal even faster than he could have imagined: a virus. Of alien origin, the organism was primitive, yet complext and violent. Small, but with great potential, held back only by the lack of resources. The virus had two simple things in mind: Survive, and Expand... And from what Arthur had observed he had certainly done well to survive, being able to remain alive in the vast void of space. He knew, that this what exactly what he needed in order to reach his goals, but the virus was too aggressive, consuming everything it came into contact. He knew that if he was to experiment with it, to engineer the perfect human, he needed a lab rat. If he died, so would his research, along with hopes and dreams. He needed something... someone, who he could take risks on, but also someone who shared his genes, so that he could pick up if the worst came to happen. The logical choice? An heir. A son.

The man was dead set on creating an heir, and being a genetics nerd, he wouldn’t be satisfied with nothing but the best woman to carry his child and pass on the genes. Not only would the child have to be strong physically, he also needed to have a big gene pool, and various variables came into play... but as time and luck would have it, Arthur would eventually find the perfect woman for the job. A carefree young lady, beautiful with golden curly hair, blue eyes, and delicate smooth skin. Surely, someone like her would never want to concieve a child, especially at her young age, even if it was from a rather handsome man, however Arthur gave her an offer she’d find hard to turn down. He offered her a hefty amount of money, in exchange for her uterus. He’d give her enough money so she could give grandly for the rest of her life, and in exchange all she had to do was carry his child for 9 months. The temptation was far too great... and so, she gave in. During her pregnancy though, she suffered through what she would consider her personal hell. Not only was carrying a child tougher than it sounded, she also couldn’t do anything of the things she liked such as dance or drink or smoke, plus Arthur was extremely strict with her diets, and took extreme care of her, something she’d eventually grow attached to, as she found it tender. Time passed, and ever so slightly feelings arose between the two, who spent time together nearly 24/7. At the end of the 9 months, love had been born, and like an ember, it had been kindled into a growing flame. The notion of plans, goals, and deals, long gone before the anticipation of searching for names, guessing the gender, looking for clothes, and all the notions the came with the birth of a baby.

However that wasn’t the end...

Five long years passed, and the young child had grown into a small boy, who the couple, now married, decided to name Archer. But on a fateful night, Arthur was greeted by a fateful nightmare, one where he saw himself, sitting amongst the dark, as his vision for the future had been clouded, his goals long gone before something as idiotic as chemicals and something so primitive like the need to procreate and reproduce. He was a joke to all the greatest scientist to have ever existed. He awoke determined, readied to make his wrongs right, and set back onto the path that was best for humanity.

Around the time Archer reached six years of age, Arthur aproached his wife. ‘We’ll be leaving for a camping trip dear’, he’d explain. Something about Archer becoming a man now, and how it was special bonding between the two. The oblivious mother happily agreed that it was something they should do, and saw the two off, as they drove away, awaiting for their safe return

‘Did you have fun with daddy on your camping trip?’ his mother would ask. ‘I... don’t know...’ Archer would reply confused. At the end of every month, for five days would Arthur take out Archer on their camping trips, and every time his mother would ask, the small boy would reply with the same. ‘I don’t know’ he would say. This went on for an entire year before the sudden dissapearance of Arthur, leaving Archer’s mother devastated, and young Archer without a father for the rest of his life.

The reality of these camping trips were much more darker than what one could imagine. In reality, these trips were, simply put, trips to Arthur’s private lab, where he’d run tests on his son, finally begining to advance onwards towards the goals he so much desired. Through this he figured out that virus inflicted a great amount of pain upon it’s host, and that in order for him to fully implement the pathogen onto it’s host, the victim would have to remain conscious in order to not be completely overtaken by the now symbiote. It was at this point that Professor’s work turned dark, as he was blinded by his own greedy goals.

He begun “catering” his own son to get assimilated, not only to the symbiote, but also... to pain. Each month young Archer would have to endure countless amount of jolts, as his father continued to remind him that this was for the greater good, for the best of humanity, and to be strong and make his daddy proud. He tried, god knows the poor small child, barely even able to comprehend wh his beloved father would make him go through such hell, tried. As much as his little body allowed him, he’d withstand jolts of electricity, burns to the skin, cuts and tearing... all for the sake of his father. Trying to make him proud... but it all proved too much for him, so much that he couldn’t make it past the 3rd day, and he’d run away from his father. Arthur knew, that he needed more time, that just one trip wasn’t enough... so he had to keep Archer quiet, and the safest way to do this? Drugs. A special drug that erased the toddler’s memory, but it’s side effects still unkown. For a whole year Arthur was able to keep this farce up, this horrible secret, to the point where young Archer’s tolerance to pain and physical trauma, was perfect to begin the experiments Arthur had longed for...

The small child, laid against an inclined metal table, held down by the wrists and ankles thanks to metal cuffs, much like a prisoner. His kidnapper? His own father. The man approaches him, carrying a petri dish with a small black smudge on. As soon as the kid spots the dish, his eyes widened, tears accumulating on the corner of his eyes, as he violently begins shaking trying to break free to no avail. He shouts and begs for his father to stop, pleading, calling out for his mother to come save him, But she won’t come. No one will. The man gently passes his hand through the boy’s hair, trying to calm him down, yet an air of hypocresy clung around him. The boy can’t do nothing but watch, as the man takes the small flakey substance from the dish using special pincers and begins bringing it closer towards the flesh of his skin. The young victim at this point is practically paralyzed with fear, his eyes fixated on the man’s slowly moving hand... until the tweezers pressed the thing the boy feared so much against the back of his wrist.

His shouts echo through the entire room as the scientist steps back to watch the horrible scene, taking mental notes of what’s happening, while a video camera records the ominous event, ever so silently watching like an omnipotent presence that is unable to interfere with the ongoing events. The boy tries so desperately to break free, that the cuffs begin cutting his delicate skin, and the dark matter that was pressed against his flesh, begins spreading steadily. An eternity passes in the following minutes, and although the child has stopped moving vigorously, his body still twitches, his small shrill voice now hoarse and tired from all the screaming, yet still shouting, begging for relief, his eyes swollen and red, dry and out of tears... and his arm... Oh god his arm. Black. Dark. Glowing red veins visible through it, pulsating like a hearbeat, and oozing out black tar, with the consistency of oil. A siren starts going off, the scientist turns his back on his subject, heavily focused on the computer. The experiment was a failure, the virus proved to be too agressive. His ideal result was to force the virus into a symbiotic relationship, instead, it desperately try to take control of its host.

The Professor takes out a key from the pocket in his labcoat, jams it into the control pannel in front of him, and a red button pops out. He considers for a small while whether to press it or not, as he eyes the decreasing vital signals on a far away monitor, showing that his own son is dying. He doubts. The he presses it, as the metal table the poor kid rested on, was lowered, an opening on the floor widening, revealing a pool of strange liquid in which the barely conscious child is submerged into. He gargles for a while, bubbles blowing up into the surface of the liquid, as he struggles to breath, a sizzling sound and steam coming from his arm. Soon... he gives in, his struggle ends, and his body becomes limp. At this point the table once again rises, returning to it’s original level, and the hole in the ground closes, as the scientist approaches his experiment. He uses the same tweezers to take the dark matter from his son’s arm, now restored back to normal, and places it back on the dish, before turning back and entering a large white room with a huge mycroscope in the center. The cuffs on the boys limbs loosen, and open up... and much to anyone’s surprise, his eyes slowly open, as his head shift towards the huge glass door where he could see his father observing something so intently. Then... something inpredictacle happens.

A burst of dark from the petri dish. The grown man now lays on the floor. The boy struggles to get on his feet, quickly falling down, as he crawls towards the glass door and uses it as support and finally manages to stand, his small palm against the glass. The man laying on the floor, his back towards the kid. He trembles for a bit, before he suddenly twitches into another position, letting out an extreme scream. He looks towards the glass door, the skin around his left eye revealing to be the same tone as the boy’s arm was a while ago. He tries to get up but quickly falls on all for, as he grunts in pain, and tries to drag himself towards the exit of the room. He tries pushing it open, desperately trying to get himself into the liquid he had submerged his patient priorly... However the door doesn’t budged. His pupils widened, as he slowly and heavily raises his head, to meet eyes with his own son. With this small... frail... and young little boy. He begs for him to open the door, but his stare is indifirent, his expression frozen and uncaring at the sight of the agonizing main writhing in pain. Nothing changes on him. As the man bangs his fist against the glass, the dark pigment on his skin spreading now across his entire face and down his neck.

Now he, much like the boy, and much like a baby, begged for mercy, begged to be let out, to be saved. Yet the boy stood there, staring. Silently, as the muffled screams of his father reached his ears, his banging against the door growing stronger by the minute, and the grip of his fist so tight, that blood trickled down his wrist. The pain was unbearable, he wanted to scratch away his own skin, in hope that it would soothe his agony, yet all he could manage was nothing but beg... and as he looked once more at his young boy... he saw... how his lips curled... into a perfect and sadistic smile. Right there, in front of him, his hand against the glass. Enjoying every single moment of the man’s torture...

Days later, Archer was finally found, unconcious by the side of a highway in the middle of nowhere. It was assumed he walked there after he was kidnapped, however his father was nowehere to be found, never to be heard of. As for the child? His memory was completely gone. Hardly could even tell who he was, and recognize his mother. Amnesia, the doctors said, and with no evidence to follow, the case was soon closed, and the scientist Arthur Raynolds soon forgotten... to all but one person.

[momtaku]

SnK Chapter 92 Poll

I’ll be closing the chapter 92 poll tonight so this is your last chance if you’d like to chime in. 

Take a Poll

I’ve received 406 responses thus far and 103 people have left comments. I especially appreciated this one

Did this very distractedly, watchin that Netflix show about OJ Simpson at the same time

Thanks, dude :P More chapter thoughts are below the read more

Reiner is getting hotter with each passing chapter. I fear we may rapidly be approaching a state of ultimate hotness that may be too much for us mere mortals to handle.

DA BEAST DADDY IS DA BEST DADDY.

Zeke's mid air transformation followed by a superhero landing is all I needed for my life to be complete

It's a boy!

I liked how much the new warriors look up to the older warriors How did Zeke drug Connies village if this is really required for his scream to work? And I wonder, are there eldians outside of Marly and paradis Island? Because the east sea nation don't have a high opinion of them as well. So, I wonder how they are treated in their society if they happen live there.

The reactions of the warriors reminded me a lot of how almost everyone reacted during Trost - most of them only knew how horrific it was, they'd never seen it. And it was HEARTBREAKING FOR EVERYONE. (But while Gaillard is agile, Ymir's titan didn't have the special jaw design, which would be weird AF if she really was the "Jaw Titan." So I'm pretty sure she's still safe).

I miss Erwin & Bert so much

Pieck's metal armour was rad

WHERE ARE MY LITTLE CHILDREN??

It hit me like a double-decker.

It was gucci

That chapter was well-done action-wise. It was cool to see the warriors of Marley in action. I'm still sad about Reiner's potential fate but I have to get prepared for him to die next chapter or in the chapter after. Poor boy only dedicated his life to an imposed duty since childhood without a break, on top of losing everybody he loved. If he dies I still have Zeke, but Reiner was my favorite warrior alongside Bert. Gabi and Falco warmed on me but not enough. I still want to spend the whole volume on Marley before moving on. no time-skips surprised me...

Zeke doesn't look he's aged a day. It was nice to see him again.

The only wow element for me was older Reiner. That's it.

I'm afraid Isayama will return to the main cast for the rest of the volume. There are still a lot of unanswered questions about Reiner and Zeke, plus now we have Falco and Gabi characters (and Pieck and Galliard on top of that). I feel there should be better a introduction for the new cast, and at least some update about Reiner\Zeke ( their worldview, their rediness to pass on their titans, their opinion on the candidats, at least some interactions with them). Also, I yet so see Mare's side of the conflict, and not oppreses Mare's Eldians, but actual Mare's people (military and civilians alike). So far we've met only two officers and they were jerks. Mare's still painted pretty black, I would like to see some gray areas as well.

Better than the last two

Where the fuck is Ymir!?

I'm getting a little tired of all these new characters, and while seeing Reiner again was quite nostalgic, I really wish Isayama would bring the story back to the original characters soon.

I think Reiner's not out for the count yet, but here's something I can totally see happening: we switch back to the Paradis people and the Marleyans attack them. Everyone thinks the Armored Titan is Reiner and they try talking to him only to discover it's one of the new people. OR, for some extra tragedy, they kill/capture the titan and THEN realize it isn't even Reiner. Bonus bonus tragedy if Connie finally gets his revenge and it's not even Reiner. :( Can totally see Isayama doing that.

It was really disturbing to realize that Annie, Bertolt, Reiner, and Marcel were once probably just like Gabi, Falco, Udo, etc. They might have been idealistic, prone to kindness even to their enemies (like Falco)... or not (since it's impossible to say for sure!) But seeing what actually fighting within the walls has done to Reiner--his trauma, etc. was an excellent contrast to the relative innocence the new cast gives off, and it's heartbreaking to consider that the Warriors we know may have once been the same way. Eren & co. please arrive promptly and save them.

It was boring.

I wish they would show why zeke was the holder of the key to the whole story.

Very intense chapter with stunning art.

Everything went south, but it's good to finally have some knowledge about what's going on outside.

Mule titan is the new best titan

I am sad that "Hot Dayum Daddy-o" Is not an acceptable answer for Reiner's hotness raiting. I also better see a warrior backstory before Isayama ties the noose for good on Reiner if he indeed decides to kill him off.

i have been giving this particular chapter a LOT of thought, and after looking back to ch. 51 of the manga, particularly at the picture of connie's mother in comparison to the drooling woman towards the front of page 2, i'm pretty convinced that the elodians were the people from ragako. that being said, i'm a slight bit skeptical that they were drugged and instead am starting to believe an older theory that just as zeke can turn people into mindless titans, he can turn them back into mindless humans.

Where's Annie

SCs better ally with the Mid-East Union or Eldians will be doomed by Marley faster.

Was surprised by how much I loved this chapter, after I so hated the last one. Oh, how far we've come since the early days of the story. I can't even imagine this in an animated form. It's too many years away.

i hope reiner will not gonna die because of gabi , if isayama want to kill him no matter what i want him to die like a hero

Something that stuck out to me was Gabi's concern for Reiner, "Reiner... be careful." It's a bit odd, she wants his power (aka eat him) but is concerned for him? Is it because of his power? Or does she know and legit care for him, but she (and the other cadets) haven't been told that eating them (the titan shifters) is a necessity to gain the power? Wouldn't that be traumatizing to figure out... I'm also curious about whether or not the warriors backstories are going to be told. Since Reiner's been knocked out (again XD) it could be a good time for the next chapter to open up with a flashback and end with him waking up? He's been kept alive for a while, and there's obviously a reason for it. I also want to know more about the other little warriors, they seem neat :)

Maybe im in denial but Reiner cant die yet, hes the warrior that knows the enemy best and needs to teach someone to use the 3dmg (If he hasnt already in these 4 years)

Something that stuck out to me was Gabi's concern for Reiner, "Reiner... be careful." It's a bit odd, she wants his power (aka eat him) but is concerned for him? Is it because of his power? Or does she know and legit care for him, but she (and the other cadets) haven't been told that eating them (the titan shifters) is a necessity to gain the power? Wouldn't that be traumatizing to figure out... I'm also curious about whether or not the warriors backstories are going to be told. Since Reiner's been knocked out (again XD) it could be a good time for the next chapter to open up with a flashback and end with him waking up? He's been kept alive for a while, and there's obviously a reason for it. I also want to know more about the other little warriors, they seem neat :)

I wanna see my children they must be so grown up, im gonna cry

fans are making too much drama for the recent lack of the main trio and the 104th squad. I'm more happy to learn about new characters outside the island and see differents points of view about the world, it gives you a global vision. Also I wish we could learn more about Marley people not for the point of view of Eldians but for themselfs or I don't know maybe from other countries? for now they are bad bad very evil duh, but I don't think in a story that constantly makes us reflect on what its good and evil the idea of Marley as the supreme ultra evil enemies is just to simple ... and lazy.

I fell 50/50 about the probabilities of Galliard eating Ymir, but the agility he has is not a proof, i don't believe the "every titan has a unique ability" thing.

Really wondering whether or not reiner may survive this since he is close to running out of time like zeke

Mule Titan is best girl

I want answers, Isayama

92 was unique, i loved it! Seeing what's happening in the other side of the ocean.

I can't wait to see more of Gabi. Gabi is best girl.

I absolutely loved this chapter. It was action packed & the ending got me so fucking hyped for next months chapter. We also got some development on the new Warriors which was really interesting. I hope they will play an important role in this arc. I'm so fucking hyped to see what the SC have been up to for the past 4 years. They probably established a base on the coast or something. btw DID I MENTION IM FUCKING HYPED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!?

i will cry in ymir is dead

It was so short it felt like "heey you guys now you have anime so manga can be less interesting". This chapter was so unnecessary IMO

#FREEANNIE2K17 better happen soon

All in all, this chapter was way more in-depth than the last one and I liked how the warrior kids all got a bit of a personal touch to them. Reiners flashback scene was the most impactful moment in my opinion. It was so heartbreaking. Also, this chapter had a proper conclusion, so I hope we're getting the main cast again next chapter.

Zophia needs more panel time.

This was a cool chapter because of the action. I am not fan of the forced bullshit Isayama has been introducing recently like the convenient amnesia in the last chapter. Make the narrative more fluid!

I thought poop machine was bad, titan carpet bombing is even more wtf

GIVE ME ARMIN'S TITAN FORM GODDAMIT

Devastating. To see the Eldians being used as mindless weapons was severely disturbing. And Zeke finally realising that War is indeed a terrible thing. These chapters are hella intense and enlightening about the world outside. It's still really sick though. Totally sick I can't even. But the thing that really excites AND frightens me the most now is WHAT HAPPENED IN WALLED WORLD WITHIN THE 4 YEARS OF TIME SKIP. Now that we've seen what the Marleyans can and intend to do, I'm feeling really anxious about the 'final' battle between the Eldians and Marleyans. With our precious badass scientist Hange and badass fighter Levi and basically the entire badass scouts, I don't think the people in the walled world, particularly the SC just sat around and did nothing. I don't need a full flashback of their 4 years (though that would be nice as well), but I do want to see how they progressed and improved during those years. I'm imagining it in my head already: the ultimate war. And then we see all the upgrades that the SC did as well, and how Eren and Armin have mastered their titans. I'm even hoping to finally see Annie again, as a villain or whatever, as long as she's put back into the story. I'm expecting a huge twist, but please not something too nasty like Eren being dead already or something. Also, I've never really warmed up to the Marleyans, and after these past chapters, I don't think I ever will. I don't think Zeke is going to get eaten, not soon, at least. He's got so many plot points that require him (Eren, Levi wanting to kill him...), but I do think it's time for Reiner to go, since he survived three extreme situations. By the way, from Marley's perspective, giving Zeke's power to a new recruit seems like a terrible idea: if they are planning to get the Coordinate, they need an experienced war chief to start immediately. It's enough that one of their five titans will need a new recruit after Reiner's demise (if it's true he is going to die, of course, I could be wrong).

It was a good chapter, but i still have no clue about the direction Yams wants to give the story. I feel like he's going too far from what SnK has Always been. I am not happy to meet the main cast, the time skip looked like a stupid way to solve all the stuff he made and we was about to male, like ema's part. In 4 years they argued and maybe thery already fixed. Sooo stupid.

Let's go back to our main cast, please.

At this point many of us think it's unlikely the warrior cadets will inherit BT or AT...but what if, in some type of critical situation, jaws or cartman are injured or whatever, and the only way to preserve the powers is by eating them in a hurry? This way, we'd keep plot relevant Reiner and Zeke, and at least some of the more important new kids (i.e. Faloc/Gabi/Colt) could stick theoretically stick around too (by eaten the aforementioned plot irrelevant shifters)? idk just a thought

It's all well and good to introduce new characters but this late in the story, after all these very dramatic plot/character changes and massive mystery revelations it's a bit... abrupt, to suddenly be with all these new people. I feel like it's a different series and no one told me about it.

I could be interesting if we saw the Marley politicians, or how do they choose the new shifters. But seeing again the Survey Corps could be great as well. Oh, and I was surprised that Reiner was still alive after their lose of multiple shifters titans. And I hope Ymir isn't dead not just bc she's my bae, but bc, contrary to Reiner to who I don't see relevant to the story anymore, so, Ymir is still I think useful too the story. She is still very mysterious and it would not be logical for the Marley government to make her eat and not Reiner and Zeke ? Or maybe it is in fact bc she could refuse to work for them ? I dunno. Still hope she's alive. Btw, is Historia going to be married in the next chapters (for political reasons...) 

Why would they make Galliard eat Ymir when they could make a recruit eat her. Giving two titan powers to one titan doesn't make sense strategically speaking. And that's if she is on the Marley side which we don't know for sure.

I may have misinterpreted the chapter due to wonky translations, but I was hoping those opposing the Marleyans would have held out more. I thought the secondary conflict was leading to something the Eldians could use when they needed to confront Marley (not a direct alliance, if literally everyone outside the walls hates Eldians, but something *waves hands*). Otherwise... the Titan drop method is awful and I know Isayama doesn't like to hold back on the atrocities, but I'll admit it did mess me up a little after reading.

I'm really hoping to see Galliard and Pieck's human forms soon. Since there were many parallels between RBA and EMA and Zeke is said to be like a warrior Levi, I'm hoping for Galliard and Pieck to be like some warrior versions of Erwin and Hange.

I want to see more backstories; Zeke, Ymir Fritz, The First King. I can't wait until Eren re-unites with Zeke.

Well, Zeke saying "war ia a bad thing" after enjoying so much killing the Scouts was quite...incoherent? Wtf lord of the ponies?

I'm completely lost as to what the story currently is

I do want to see Galliard and Pieck's human forms but not if it means we get another Marley chapter. It's time to go back to the real protagonists.

This plot twist is weird and has yet to sell me in the new direction it's taking

Locate my position and land on me Daddy

I hope the story of new warriors won't turn into another Grisha files.

I hope Paradis invasion will be told from the Warriors perspective. We already know how underprepared and unexpected Paradis is so it'd be fresh to see the story unfold from the other side. This will also give more time to develop those fresh recruits' characters? Most of them still feel like folders to me and we weren't given enough time to form emotional attachment with them yet.

I miss my Vets...

I'm terrified there may be another timeskip before we get back to the main cast i'll fuck up isayama and his editor for giving me this timeskip-phobia Having BRYH as your favorite characters really fucking sucks.

back to eren, please

All I hoped for was to at least see Reiner and Zeke again. But I'm ready to see my children again next month. :')

Im so nervous

I preferred this chapter over 91 because we got to see familiar characters. I am surprised at how quick this war ended for the viewers and hope we get to see the fallout from Marley's perspective. Maybe the changing of titans if that is going to happen before we switch back to the main cast.

4/10 There was no Grisha in this chapter, but it brought back my intense sadness for Reiner

What kind of brainwashing techniques the Marley used on the Eldian

What happened to this manga!?!

I know the new characters are all going to die so I just want to see how this story ends already.

I really don't want Reiner and Zeke to be replaced, as I don't see how that would add anything to the story and many conflicts would never be resolved. Also I loved the scene with the drugged eldians turned into titans. Very poignant. I love how the situation is cruel and inhumane yet really really believable

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

This chapter has a lot of really good emotional moments (Falco saving the Middle East Union man was a personal favorite). The way the Eldians are treated was genuinely horrific. Isayama is doing well building up the tension and the threat level in his manga. But, he's also now, thankfully, investing time into the emotional gravity of this situation and this new world. This chapter was much better at establishing what this side of the wall is all about than the previous chapter. But, the main characters need to come back because I doubt most of us will ever care about the new characters nearly as much as we do the old ones. Also, Reiner is back!!! And he's so hot but everything is so sad! Seeing Reiner again is like trying to eat ice cream while you're sobbing your heart out. And honestly, if Reiner is supposed to be "dead"... all I can say is that it would be pretty lame.

The story has become way more interesting that I initially thought. I really love the new perspective shown of the tragic young warriors. The hopelessness of the Pradise situation now that we saw Marly's power. I'm scared to think of how more complicated it will be. Love how isayama is never scared to leave the main cast behind whenever he wanted to express more thoughts or story. good job.

The chapter was great. We finally have an idea of what the military prowess of Marley as well as the rest of the world is like. We know how Eldians are treated by Marley and viewed by other nations and honestly the situation is grim for Paradis. I truly hope they achieved massive strides in weapon and warfare or found an ally of sorts otherwise they are completely at the mercy of the coordinate.

god this is going so fast to somewhere i never thought this would go and idt i like that very much

I've waited so long to get the Warrior perspective on things, these chapters are a delight (while also being horrifying). Seeing how idealistic these kids are, oblivious to the reality of their monstrous nation, breaks my heart.

I have no idea what's going on anymore.

all these new characters confuses me and i think its messy that we are presented to so many new people when the manga is almost done. also a fucking four year time jump??? i just dont feel like this is snk anymore all these new characters confuses me and i think its messy that we are presented to so many new people when the manga is almost done. also a fucking four year time jump??? i just dont feel like this is snk anymore

I can't wait to see Eren & Co! \>o

I think it was kinda satisfying to see Gabi's view on the world change since she seemed so cocky before hand.

I just want to see the main cast again.

Interesting to see all the technologies/evolution the middle-east clan: they can destroy Reiner's armor !

I hate 2 last chapters

Tbh i dont mind if they do a couple more chapters from marleys pov but at the same time i want then to go back to our mian cast just to see how after the horror shitshow of 92 ; how paradis is preparing for attack

YAMS my man dude bro I wanna know the dealy-o with Ymir ASAP thx

It confused the heck out of me but I got by