#plus they dont actually help my depression
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uh anyways
#wanna kms maybe these fuckoff level moodswings would be less intense if i was medicated#but 🙃 i hate myself too much for that lol#plus they dont actually help my depression#fuck i need to make that chart
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dress i ordered for my uncles wedding didnt fit, might kill myself
#tw ed#<to be safe ig. vent in tags#ohhhhhhhhhhhhh#im so upset about this i could actually cryyyyyyyyy#i have ruined my body#and now i just have to fix it on my own as well#trying to improve my relationship with food and get better from BED#at home#with only youtube videos and tiktok dieticians to help#i might actually kill myself#ive been trying so hard to be positive about this but idk if i can keep it up :|#i tried to talk to MORE THAN ONE mental health professional about it but they all shut me down cuz they were clearly uncomfortable with it#which... whatever im a big girl but why become a therapist if you cant deal with such a common issue WHATEVER#i am eating healthier and im more active than ive been since i was like 13 and its showing#just very slowly#which is good cuz fast weight loss doesnt last and im trying to like meaningfully change and stuff#butttttttttttttt iam going to be fat for the next 2 years at least#and thats with no setbacks and it just feels like :( like sad face emoji#i am going to be fat at my uncles wedding that i DONT want to go to i dont have anyone to bring as my plus one#and i hateeeeee my cousins and im DEPRESSED#but i dont wanna take antidepressants and i WONT#and i feel sick and anxious all the time and ive lost 40lbs but im still FATTTTT#because i fucked myself#i literally used to eat til i threw up#5000 calorie binges every other day and it has lowkey ruined my body fr#not jsut in looks like yea im over weight but in so many other ways too#it wrecked my confidence and im still young enough that my health is mostly fine i just know everything would#easier if i had never done it#and then tried stupid shit to UNDO it like brotherrrrrr yoyo dieting is NOT the move#starving yourself for days then binging is not the moveeeeeee
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pt got canceled today bc of technical issues, so i spent the day deep cleaning. let me just say i did SO much that i haven't had the energy or motivation to do in MONTHS. i am so fucking proud of myself ahhhh
#tbh the only reasons im scrambling to clean rn are 1) the fact that we're moving in march and#2) a moving company is coming on thursday to give us an estimate. and i dont want the house to be dirty#HOWEVER a w is a w in my book!!#today i vacuumed and mopped the laminate. SCRUBBED the wall and floorboards where lucky eats#bc she flings food around and splatters watter IDK WHY. but food was stuck to the wall and stuff#that hasnt been done in probably 8-10 months#decluttered my side of the bedroom and deep cleaned the carpet#last year during the hurricanes our master bedroom window leaked brown water EVERYWHERE#and the blinds got splattered and stained. we never cleaned them bc we were waiting on maintenance#to fix the window. they never did lol. so now i FINALLY cleaned them and theyre white again!!!#plus other little things i thought of while moving around!!!#i feel fucking amazing and SO much less stressed out bc my house is CLEAN#u get used to the mess/clutter after a while and dont realize how much it stresses u out#but now i must have thrown out at least 4 bags of garbage or clutter that we dont need#AND packed a full box of stuff for the move#its been so fucking satisfying and helpful too w my depression. bc i actually feel productive#anyway i love cleaning i love having a clean house#and im glad im finally getting some energy back post surgery & chemo#chatter
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Bro mental illness sucks ass
Cos I feel angry and defeated and have NO idea why.
It’s like dealing w/ a crying infant, like the kind that can’t talk yet. It’s just screaming and crying. And you’re there trying everything in a desperate attempt to make it stop. Food? No. Sleep? No. Stinky? No. Lonely? No. Under-stimulated/bored? No. Overstimulated?? No.
I have very recently (since giving up on my second lot of anti-depressants) realised that sometimes you just feel like shit. There is no cause, they is no pushing through it and gritting your teeth and pretending to be okay. Sometimes you just gotta wait it out. And I haaaaate that. As someone w/ adhd I don’t have the fucking patience. I feel that need to find a fix for my mood. But there just isn’t. It will pass with time, and until then I just need to go abt life and try not to ruin anyone else’s day. That last part is rlly hard when you’re grumpy and hate everything…
There is no “positive mindset”-ing my way out of this. There is no clawing and scrabbling and fighting my way out of this. I just gotta sit there, try to avoid things that will make it worse, and wait.
#shut up ray#esp as someone whose chronic illness is affected by my mood and vise versa#its rlly terrifying to just go w/ the flow#cos sometimes that flow might lead to actual intestinal agony#boy is it taking me a while to accept the garabge cards ive been dealt#still going through the withdrawals of my anti-depressants#but so far i dont feel emotionally or mentally worse#not like when i went cold-turkey on my last lot#i was filled with rage and hatred w/ them#but w/ these its mostly just been physical withdrawals#headaches. brain-zaps. some nausea near the beginning#anyway….#back to Hades lol#the bright colours arent helping my headache#but the monotonous smashing enemies is keeping me occupied#(the music and character designs also go rlly hard so thats a plus)
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its times like this when i really wish i had an SO's shoulder to cry on
Because I think i factrued/sprained my foot the other day it happened wednesday but its still pretty swollen and pops when i try to walk on it without hobbling. i know i signed up for health insurance through work. i wrote down the insurance company name as Bayside and I have my personal insurance id number but the card never came in/got lost in the mail (and i already called for one replacement that never came so idk if theyll send me a third) so i cant confirm the insurance name nor call them, but i need to because ive called/visited 5 health care facilities around me and NONE of them have even heard of Bayside. So im calling the phone number that my manager provided me with telling me that was the insurance company. I keep calling the number (and mind you ive called them before to try to get a second insurance card sent to me but that was in like April) and i get that its saturday but theres no answer and the stupid automated machine wont let me leave a voicemail. the automated answering voice on the phone also says that theyre called National Benefit Plans by SafetyNet and google says the phone number im using belongs to National Benefit Plans out in San Antonio Tx (i live no where near there). I found National Benefit Plans' website on SafetyNetPlus dot com but National Benefit Plans doesnt have their own website, just through SafetyNet, and also the SafetyNet website says on a side panel that "this is NOT insurance" and instead keeps saying "health benefits" instead so idk what the fuck ive been paying for for the last 6 months tbh and im having an emotional breakdown bc i dont want to fuck my foot up for life just cause i couldnt figure out my health insurance/benefits shit
#ive been fucking sobbing on the phone for 20 minutes calling the phone number over and over again#im about to mcfucking lose it and im sad and confused and scared because my foot is still so swollen even though it doesnt hurt very much#and google says if swelling on an injury like this persists after 48 hours to go get it looked at#all the walkin clinics near me dont have any xray techs til monday & quoted me anywhere from $130-$300 if i dont have insurance which i can#provide proof of nor am i even sure i actually have at this point and im ngl my guys i only have like $180 to my name until next friday#but then basically my entire next paycheck is going to Geico#and overall im just having a really really really bad time rn and im scared that if my foot is actually fractured im gonna fuck it up worse#by walking around on it without a boot/cast. yeah ive been sitting at work the last few days#but its front desk at a hotel so at least for the first hour of my shift and last 1.5 hours i HAVE to be standing#my foot was so swollen after work today it hurt to get my shoe off#im just really fucking stressed and anxious and confused and im sitting here sobbing my eyes out realizing theres literally no one i can#call just to vent and cry it out with#cant call my mom cause i busted my foot leaving her place after her husband got in my face & screamed at me for saying you cant hit people#cant call my siblings cause none of them can help/we dont talk often enough that i feel like i can burden them with this#i have a few casual friends but same sitch im not close enough with them that i feel comfortable venting while sobbing to them#i could call my ex but shes got a new boo now/its not her problem/we rarely talk anymore/she cant help so no point in calling#only other person who knows/is worried about me is my ex's mom but she wont be home from work for break til 2pm & its 11:30am rn#not close enough to any of my coworkers either#its times like this that i realize how truly alone i am these days with no one that can physically comfort me#which of course is only making me more upset#thats what i get for being depressed and reclusive the last 2 years and only letting people get an arms length reach from me emotionally#there is a medical clinic i can go to that is a 50 minute drive from me and without insurance you just pay a $20 sliding fee plus a little#extra for the care services but again theyre not open until monday and also its a 50 minute drive from me#so all im learning is i shouldve gone some place thursday morning after it happened and im fucked at least til monday#FUCK my STUPID BAKA life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#whatever. guess imma keep icing it try to keep it elevated and just endure it and hope it doesnt get worse#emma rambles#vent tag#DONT REBLOG
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bro i remember being young and my grandma telling me if i dont learn to clean my room then i wont do it when im older. while there is some truth there what she did not account for was the audhd
#hated cleaning bc i didnt have proper places for stuff#my grandma would clean my room for me when she deemed it too bad which meant shoving everything out of sight and#throwing away what she thought was trash#now i can actually fucking designate places for my stuff where i can trust it will stay there and i desire to keep the place clean bc it#puts me in a better headspace#the demand avoidance though! the object permanance issues! the executive dysfunction!#now i can avoid all of those by 1. taking adderall LOL but also#putting things in plan sight#the only things that go in drawers are things that have specific or regular use#like i have drawers for my art supplies#clothes in drawers kitchen stuf fin cabinets etc#but stuff that can easily be forgotten i keep in plain sight#i keep a binder with all our important documents#its just much easier starting from scratch with a place and being able to actually learn to manage my self and posessions#plus adderall. ithonestly helps create new coping skills though likeim still adhd on it but i can regulate better which means forming#pathways and stuff#idk!#i love sharing a place with people who at least have a certain respect for my things#even if the roommate that isnt my husband doesnt have housekeeping sense god gave a goose (<- stole that one from my great grandma)#i mean good lord ive never seen anyone go so long without cleaning#Anything#At All. Ever.#like BRO MY HUSBAND AND I BOTH HAVE ISSUES WITH DEPRESSION AND EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING AND IMPULSE MANAGEMENT#BUT WE DO NOT BUY DELIVERY ALMOST EVERYDAY THEN COME UP SHORT ON RENT!!!!!!#nor does our room emanate a Stink#nor do we habitually leave trash out without (also habitually) picking it up#like i get it yk? but in common areas dont leave your trash around Constant#i get a wrapper or box on the counter or whatev.. but you just do a pass through occasionaly where you pick your stuff up and throw it away#or at least get it in one place#idk how i got into this my roommate pisses me off. also the type of motherfucker to have opportunity stare him in the face and reject it
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like. literally how do i broach the topic with. anyone??
#my mom? not like she can help from hungary plus i dont wanna add to her plate#and yeah i have friends but its like...... i have been cutting this friend off and i dont wanna suddenly be like hi i wanna kms#bc hed be like haha same lol (its not the same. its not. hes diong so well which he spent an hour telling me about while i was sitting#there trying not to cry)#even with online friends like. distant hugs dont really help bc i need a job and an income and also im v depressed lol#i KNOW im whining anyways im not actually killing myself im just spiraling#also. i just wanna get a job to help people already thats not fucking primark or tk maxx or some shit ive done so much retail#nett rambles#and its nearly the anniversary of my ex breaking up with me and im still not over her so haha lol
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Okay tumblr lets talk theories again.
(my brain rot + knowledge of religion has me all up in Hazbin Hotel right now.)
Today I want to talk Biology! Mostly because I made the poor choice of going to Twitter's chaggie tag and looking at the comments...
So can we discuss Why do so many people keep trying to apply HUMAN biology to the Half-Demon Nephillim daughter of an Arch-Angel?!
Okay I'll start at the begining and work my way to the reasons why if Charlie really wants a kid with Vaggie both of them being assigned female at creation probably isn't going to matter.
Let's start with Lucifer!
So as far as has been shown in the show Lucifer is an original Archangel even down to his lovely 6 red wings. This makes him one of the most powerful beings in heaven.
(If we go by bible text he was actually a favorite until his dreams of free will led him astray and depending on the text he merely has to admit he was wrong and ask for forgiveness to return)
Now looking at everything after this fall he has never lost his Angelic Abilities. His default powers are still angelic gold.
We do see he also has a Full Demon form when he is pissed. Interestingly enough his crown also doubles as a halo in this form. Also note for later just how much Charlie resembles him in both forms.
This suggest that at root biology Lucifer is still an archangel with demon traits. This combination is most likely what makes him the strongest being in hell by a long shot. The only reason others even have power is purely because he doesnt care enough to flex his power and has no desire to actually rule.
Now on to Lilith!
What do we know about Lilith?
Well we know she was a created human not born.
She was Adam's equal
And she left and got with Lucifer before the fall.
So here is the deal... I dont think Lilith can be classified as a sinner. She didnt die to end up in hell and in fact she fell before hell was really a thing. she helped create it after all. (Plus you know Charlie exsists)
So what IS Lilith? I think Lilith as one of a few Actual Demons. And if we have to classify her she'd be closer to a Sin. I actually think of Lilith as the Sin of Pride in Hazbin Hotel not Lucifer. We are even told that She created pentagram city and developed hell while lucifer kept to his workshop in depression.
Now let's talk about this scene for a second. Lilith fell from heaven/earth Alive and possibly even immortal since human kind was immortal before Eve took the apple.
Lilith gains power from her fall into hell. She develops demon like attributes and seems to have musical based magic. She also seems to retain or get immortality. So what does this fall mean? It means that Lilith was NOT HUMAN by the time Charlie was born.
So what does this mean for Charlie?
Well for one Charlie is NOT just some Hellborn. She is by Definition a Nephilim but she is not half-human. She would most likely be considered a Half-Demon, Half-Angel Nephilim.
This would explain her expansive (if never used) power base. The official power ranking has her tied with Lilith with only Lucifer being more powerful. Which makes complete sense. She is the Heir to the entire thing after all. (I actually think this is why Alastor couldnt make a deal for her soul and settled for a favor instead)
She also inheirited Angelic powers from her father. As seen by the fact that her default magic is gold. Which means she has angel blood in her veins. Lets be honest i wouldnt be surprised if she ended up bleeding gold in the future.
In fact she seems to have inherited most of her abilities from dear old dad.
Im pretty sure that just by shear ability and magic if Charlie wanted a kid she could probably create/magic one into exsistance no matter who her partner was.
But lets review Vaggie just for fun! Because I have thoughts
What do we actually know about Vaggie?
Well we know she is an angel. I say is because I dont think Lute or Adam actually have the power to cast an angel out of heaven AND she gets her wings back. This would mean she is not actually a sinner she would be closer to a fallen angel like lucifer.
We know she speaks Spanish and seems to be of Hispanic nature. BUT! Do we know if she was ever really human?!
We know Adam claims to have named her Vaggie. This could suggest three things
1) exorcist take on a new name when they join. But if this was true why wouldnt she leave this name behind and return to her human name once in hell? It would have kept her secret better and you'd figure she would want to leave behind the negative feelings that would come with her exorcist name.
2) Adam in his self-centered ways misheard her real name (maybe something like Aggie from Agatha or Maggie) and thought she said Vaggie or actively chose to misinterpret her name and she never cared to correct him. BUT Once more why would she not just return to her real name once with Charlie in hell?
Or 3) And this one is the real kicker. Vaggie is a Heaven-born Angel.
If the answer is 3 than it would imply that she was never human which brings her closer to lucifers biology.
Some other interesting things to consider about this last theory. Lute and Vaggie resemble each other a great deal. In fact, all the exorcist seem to have a similar body type. (I mean you could argue its the uniform but even without the uniform the resembalance between lute and vaggie is uncanny) and if I remember correctly at one point the exterminators are refered to as sister? I mean this could mean sisters-in-arms BUT What if ALL exorcist were heaven-born?
If they were never human this could explain both their ability and their desire to slay sinners. Much like Sera they wouldn't have any sympathy for the dammed because they wouldn't have any possible family that could end up down there. They would also have Very little connection to or concern for former humans. After all like Adam said they had their chance and they screwed up.
So in the end what does this all mean?
Well I actually already kind of said it
1) Fandom really needs to stop applying human biology to Charlie. She is a half demon half archangel Nephilim with incredible magic.
If charlie wants a kid she can probably magic one up no matter the obsticles please stop asking artist and writers how it is possible for her and vaggie to have a kid/get pregnant if they are both women - the answer is Charlie Magic.
2) all 4 of the above have the potential to be way stronger than they have been shown in the show.
And
3) Charlie is a potential BadAss and is just too nice to go full tactical nuke - this will be covered in my next ted talk.
#hazbin hotel theory#hazbin hotel spoilers#hazbin hotel#charlie morningstar#lucifer morningstar#lilith morningstar#vaggie#chaggie
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So this does have spoilers for boothill's story, but it's more of a question. Still gonna tag it as spoilers, though
Do not read if you care about spoilers!
So, as most know, that boothills story was leaked, cool, it's depressing as hell. Anyway, I've been trying to figure out what exactly boothill's name was before. we have a small hint but its not extremely helpful?
I mainly want to figure it out cause writing headcanons and stuff for before would be kinda hard if he never had the 'boothill' name until after.
Our main hint is this: 'The child had a striking and beautiful name that in the ancient language of Aeragan-Epharshel meant 'loaded gun."
But heres my problem, according to some others I've seen online, his tribe Aeragan-Epharshel could possibly be the names used in CN for the actual tribes of Apache and Algonquin, however using their languages there isnt quiet any name that fits that description, plus there are a ton of indigenous languages so its hard to pinpoint the correct one. Plus it could also be a made up language so who fuckin knows.
My questions are: Does anyone know a name that could possibly have that meaning or something close to it? Would it be offensive for me to even use a native name if i dont fully know which tribe he's meant to be a part of? Should i just use boothill? It feels lazy, but I'd rather avoid being offensive, and if that's the best way, it's what I'd rather do.
If anyone thinks of anything, please let me know! I really wanna make fluffy comfort fics.
...also wish i knew his daughters name. She deserved so much better
-jack
#fandom#hsr x reader#boothill x reader#boothill#boothill hsr#boothill honkai star rail#honkai star rail x reader#honkai star rail#fanfic questions#questions#boothill leaks#boothill story#boothill spoilers
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Hey guys
I need to make a quick update of my whereabouts and why I havent answered any asks or messages lately. But first, I want to apologiese to everyone who worried about me. It wasnt my intention to make you worry, the last few weeks (months actually) were just quite stressfull for me and Im barely online anymore. I want you to know that you guys dont need to worry and Im really sorry if you did. Life is just quite difficult for me in the moment. I bother with some health issus right now (its NOT life threatening though!) both physical and mental and I have to take a few meds every day. These meds make me very tired and unmotivated to do anything Im not forced to do. I also had a lot of doctor appointments in the last few weeks and need to visit my doctor regulary. Again, its nothing life threatening but it tires me out and I dont feel very well in the moment. Most of the time I just want to be left alone so I can rest. Plus my private life is also quite messy right now and that doesnt help to increase my health. Since my health issues also have mental consequences I decided to stay away from any social media as much as possible, because the internet can be a toxic and stressful enviroment and I have realized that I feel worse if I lure to much on social media sites. I even try to avoid world news because they make me feel depressed. Even writing this short post is difficult for me, because I dont want to think or talk about my problems.
So again, Im very VERY sorry that I worried you guys, but it also warms my heart to see how many of you asked about my whereabouts and if Im okay! Thats so very sweet of you all! ❤️ And just a quick comment about mha. Im not lying to you, but right now Im not really invested in it anymore. The manga turned into a big dissapointment for me and I pretty much lost all my interest in it. I will still check out the last chapter and Im still positive about dfo to be revealed in the last chapter. But I already mentioned in the past that I dont think anymore that dfo will have an satisfying conclusion. It would be hilarious if it turns out the afo clone theory is indeed true though, because I was JOKING when I came up with it! I think its possible that hori will not confirm the theory right out, but just give very strong clues and hints like giving us a glimpse of the holes in hisashis hands. I heard, in a recent interview hori mentioned that he likes to leave things vague so people can come up with their own interpretations and conclusions, which I cant say is a smart move. Still, Im positive about dfo. I will eventually drop a post about the last chapter and talk about dfo if it turns out canon!
You are still welcome to send me asks but it will take me time to answer them. Im also not sure what I will do with this blog when mha is done, since its a mha/dfo centered blog. Eventually I just start a new one at one point.
A lot of hugs to you guys and see ya 🥰
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hello hello huelittaa 👋✨ do u have any tips for someone struggling with motivation to workout? or even to take a simple walk? thank uu 🤍
bee's physical activity handbook: motive 🎀 . ݁₊ ⊹
hiiii ml!!!!!!!! 🫶🏻🩷💗 sorry this has been sitting in my inbox for a few days BUT IM HERE NOW !!!!! honestly this is something i also struggle with myself ,, i am still recovering from depression personally so this is still difficult for me sometimes too but these are some things i do !!!! ♡
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. prepare urself for the possibility
so since i know i have this problem a lot, it helps me to be prepared for this in advance. i actually have a whole notion page filled with a table of letters to myself in specific situations i find myself in a lot, this included, and have a whole archived stored of cute photos and motivation and things like articles and videos and tumblr posts on the main page and in the letters that make me wanna get up and do shit and its my LIFESAVER. (should i make a post on this?)
but i'd suggest to keep a note or page or document , physical or digital, filled with just motivation for this specific thing, like things you like about it, photos romanticising working out or going outside, songs that motivate you, etc etc etc. the list goes on but you get the point ♡
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. detective chapter: analysis! ♡
figure out why you dont want to. this is the main thing that helps me and its so simple but once u figure out the root u figure out the rest and this applies just the same here too. is it laziness? mental health? exhaustion? overworking? burnout? you won't be able to continue until you haven't found the actual problem. it's like trying to travel with no path to travel on.
💭𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. pep talk!
one thing i do that helps me the most is literally just lay in bed or wherever you are where ur procrastinating and thinking about this over and over and going back and forth whether to do it or not is to force the thoughts out (literally. u can envision it if it helps!) and deadass bully myself into doing it 😭😭
(🗒🎀 note: i've also found it helps for some people to do this in the mirror, just so ur face to face w urself as it were. plus u get to admire urself at the same time so its a win all around)
if ur not into harsh motivation, another thing i love, esp when im not feeling great enough to deal w harsh motivation is pretend ur giving advice to a friend or ur child in this position. this is one of the greatest pieces of advice ive ever gotten i literally cannot stress this enough. do this‼️ p.s. you can do this in ur head or out loud. i usually do some mix of both because i am a professional at talking to myself constantly literally all the time
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. use gratitude in ur favour!
one thing i like to do is essentially guilt trip myself into doing it. erm. you can also call this gratitude it sounds a lot better. think of how grateful you are to even have the opportunity to go outside safely to go for a walk, to be able to work out and keep urself healthy, because there's always someone who's not going to be able to do those things. it is a privilege to live your life and this should be classed as one too.
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. all about the outlook
another thing i love that falls into the category of motivation is treating it as an act of love and luxury rather than a chore and changing ur outlook on it. for example,
"oh, i have to do this or i'm a failure" or "i really don't want to do it today"
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ into...
"i deserve to do this for myself because i deserve to be taken care of and kept in good health."
and i find this makes me so much more open to it because you do deserve it.
🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. romanticism; obviously!
okayyyy i know you hear this EVERYWHERE but ‼️its‼️because‼️its true‼️ romanticism is my LIFE not a day goes by where i dont act like im a silly girl in a pink girly shoujo world, and i do this even more so when i dont wanna get up and do simple tasks like this.
some things that give me motivation via romanticism is getting dressed up and cute even if i'm just going for a walk and listening to music and appreciating the world (🗒🎀 note: i love taking pictures or going on different routes whenever i go for walks! it makes the experience so much sweeter and more enjoyable ♡), or putting on cute clothes, loud music and grabbing a pretty waterbottle and hyping myself up to do even just 10 mins of pilates because something is always better than nothing!!!!!!!!!!!
🎀𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. something is better than nothing
with the last note from my previous point in mind, try and always do just a little bit, even if it's not the amount you intended. say you wanted to workout for 20 minutes every day, but you really weren't feeling it today? do 10 instead. this way ur still doing something. we always have tomorrow. take it at ur own pace. you wanted to go running every day? just go for a walk. you can always try again. there is no limit on how many attempts you have with these things. this is always better than just doing nothing at all. this is basically finding the middle ground when you do these things. which leads me onto my final point ,,♡
✨️𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. finding the middle ground
the no.1 thing in all of this is please don't beat urself up for it if you don't feel like it sometimes, but still keep to it as best as possible. say for example you really didn't want to one day but you had no real reason not to, you should still do it. but if your emotional or physical health or anything like that is in a bad place right now, then allow urself to skip for a day or two. dont beat urself up over it, but keep to it when and where you can because i know its difficult sometimes ♡
all my love, and u got this!!!!!!!!!! 🩷🫶🏻💬💗🎀
#IMSO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET BACK TO YOU AJDJFKSJFS#anyway. im here now. i hope this helps you i love u#asks ୨𖹭୧#it girlism ୨𖹭୧
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What TikToks I think overwatch characters would post pt 2! (>ᴗ•) !
Part 1 !
Rein, don’t know if u guys know that liver king guy but he’s literally just rein if he took steroids. Posts tons of like gym core/culture videos yk BUT HES ONE OF THE GOOD ONES!!! Ppl in the community love him bc of how positive he is even though he’d give rlly bad advice “EATING THIS RAW TESTICLE INCREASED MY TESTOSTERONE LEVELS BY 9%!!!!”
D.va, this can go 2 ways. #1 in all her Korean celebrity realness posts vids doing trendy dances while using crazy whitening filters and doing aegyo. #2 goes by a fake name and trolls the fuck out of people. D.va being a hater is such a strong head canon of mine like I love her being a toxic bitch like yes slay or whatever so relatable! Replies to streamers she secretly hates like “Wow your mom’s basement looks so clean!” “My left toe can get better plays.” “Bet even your keyboard hates being touched by you.” basically meowbah or wtv her name was but less weird more cunty
Ana, she replies to reins TikTok’s telling his followers NOT to do anything he says, but other than that I can see her posting cooking vids (as every Arab mom does) but she’ll be talking sweetly in English and then suddenly start cussing something out in Arabic and it’ll be so off topic and it’s rlly funny “and then you add 1 cup of flour! ‘I told my lazyass lgbtqia daughter to pick up some earlier but of fucking course she chose to disappoint me again. Ever since the day I birthed her she has been disappointing me over and over again.’ A pinch of salt!”
Hanzo, DEPRESSION CORE SLIDESHOWS LMAOOO some “when the nice guy loses his patience… the devil shivers.” ass shit, bio is probs something stupid like “family betray, women cheat, Hennessy cures.”
Ashe, CONTROVERSIAL QUEEN !!! People forget she’s southern like please you cannot tell me she doesn’t have some crazyass takes. Will post borderline ragebait in like her car or something. “My gun identifies as a PLUNGER. Beat that Biden.” “BIDEN CANT TAKE MY GUNS, I KEEP THEM UPSTAIRS!!!” “Bidens oldass will probably find a way to outlive my OMNIC butler.” She’ll say all this stupid shit with a straight face and I just think that’s so funny. On rare occasions she’ll actually have a rlly good progressive take and ppl will be like okay hold up let her cook…
Tracer, kinda like junkrat where she's only famous cuz ppl lowk make fun of her and she hasn't caught on yet... I LOVEEEE Tracer she's my fav character but CMONNNN "Cheers love!" SHES NOT SURVIVING TIKTOK!!! ppl in the comments will be mocking her accent and she'll just think they're british too... ppl make fun of her NOT cuz they hate her but because she's just ummm eccentric that's the world plus she's british so that's rlly the only reason why ppl make fun of her like not in a mean way but just for funsies yk...
Pharah, being arab and being a lesbian I am 100% qualified to say this but she's such a fucking lesbo ykwim like 'hey mamas' type, she's also really whitewashed like thinks shes a white stud or something. Ellie Williams wannabe makes thirst traps in stained white wife beaters and expects every lesbian in a 100 mile radius to want her (they dont). Thinks playing basketball makes her the shit and she's just rlly desperate and lame. horny on main. Ana found one of her thirst traps once and it led to a really awkward convo
Kiriko, she's only there to post cute videos of her adventures with her gang and fox like shes just there to have a good time ykwim. And she's like popular bc all her fans r girls and her vlogs and stuff r just so nice to watch plus she's funny and rlly cool!
Baptiste, the anti-andrew tate. Hes so attractive and like confident that people can't help but like him ykwim like he makes little straight boys piss their pants with his bazillion level aura. He'll just post a random vid in his car maybe eating chipotle or something and he'll have men and women alike confessing their love for him in the comments. Lesbians love him.
Any character I haven't mentioned i just can't see posting or having tiktok!
#THESE WERE SO FUN TO MAKE LMAOO#I CRACK MYSELF UP#overwatch 2#overwatch headcanons#overwatch#reinhart#d.va#d.va overwatch#d.va ow#hana song#ana amari#ana overwatch#hanzo shimada#overwatch hanzo#azul ashengrotto#ashe overwatch#tracer#lena oxton#pharah#kiriko#kiriko kamori#baptiste overwatch
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Ikevamp au where everything is the same except the suitor falls in love with you, but you hate them.
Imagine. An otome game, but you constantly turn down the guy.
Napoleons route: what makes you think I want to be your body guard?
You: what makes you think I want to be near a panty sniffer?
Napoleons route later: wait... I think I'm in love with her
You: why won't he leave me alone.
Wait why is this actually hilarious
Mozart's route: no one likes you and no one wants you here.
You: what makes you think I want to spend my time with a man who meowed at people?
Mozart's route later: so I actually really like your company
You: I've never enjoyed being around you for a moment after you called me a nuisance.
How would you expect me to fall in love with either of these two after they both tell me they want nothing to do with me. Please explain
Leonardo's route: I'm going to drag you around the city and have you help me with things
You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion
Leonardo's route later: I've really been enjoying our time together
You: please just let me be depressed in the mansion.
Just let her do her thing. She wants to go back home with no strings attached. Make sure she doesn't try to kill herself but please don't drag her along against her will.
Arthur's route: you're a pretty little thing
You: touch me and I will scream and bite you myself. Never speak to me. Don't even perceive me.
Arthur's route later: so it all started when I was a wee lad
You: didn't I tell you to stop acknowledging me? I'm not interested in your trauma. I didn't even know who wrote Sherlock until I got here
Let be real. Most of us didn't actually know. We knew Sherlock didn't write Sherlock but we didn't know it was some crazy fairy man.
Vincent's route: you're really sweet and I think we should be friends
You: yes. Friends is nice. You seem very nice
Vincent's route later: so..I..um...I want to be more than friends.
You: learn how to have a negative emotion and stop acting like being sad is a bad thing.
The boy is honestly toxic. He's going to invalidate your negative emotions I feel it.
Theo's route: hondje! You saw my scar and so now you're going to work for me!
You: shouldn't I be the one trying to blackmail you??
Theo's route later: you're actually a really good worker and have a good eye for art. I like you hondje
You: so you like capitalism? Am I even getting paid? I didn't travel through a door just to run around the city and sell art work
I'll never understand how it makes sense that Theo thinks he can make her do things bc he assumes she noticed some random ass scar. WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYTHING LEARNING YOU GOT SHOT. YOU DIDN'T COME FROM THE FUTURE. THEY CAN TECHNICALLY LOOK UP HOW YOU DIED.
Why did I have a hard time coming up with one for Isaac. Ik that boy is problematic but why am I having issues
Isaac's route: HOW DONT YOU KNOW ABOUT *insert very complicated scientific theory*
You: I went to public school my dude. Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
Isaac's route later: she's very kind and patient. Is this what love feels like??
You: IF HE COULD SHUT UP ABOUT HIS WORK FOR 5 SECONDS THAT WOULD BE GREAT
I know once I post this I'll think of a better one for Isaac. But oh well. Boy needs to let you talk about your day.
Dazai's route: you're so cute. I'm going to adopt you as my little sister
You: you're a little weird... But I guess this is okay
Dazai's route later: so I really like you, but I need to push you away and act like I don't care because it's what's best
You: I have been here for two weeks and you've tried to kill yourself 4 times. How did you think I could mentally handle that let alone want to date you, PLUS YOU KEEP CALLING ME YOUR LITTLE SISTER
He sibling zones you up until the very end. What kind of Alabama kink do you got going on, Dazai
Jean's route: I'm not sorry that I bit you. Don't talk to me, I don't want friends. No one understands me anyway.
You: if Comte doesn't beat your ass for biting me then I'll do it myself.
Jean's route later: I think I'm learning what love is. She's helped me with so much and I want to repay her
You: he bit me and never apologized or got in trouble. Why the hell would I ever be interested in him. He's treating life like a SURVIVAL GAME
I have many complaints about Jean. But my main one is the biting and him never getting in trouble for it bc he's the favorite child.
Will's route: you found and read my note book and now I have to keep an eye on you so you don't tell anyone that I'm using this information against them to possibly get them killed!
You: sooo...you aren't writing all of this because you have bad social skills and are just trying to better understand everyone because they are all from a vastly different time period than you? Thanks for telling me your plan.
Will's route later: so I've realized the error of my ways and I'm not going to do the deed any more and I hope you can forgive me
You: LET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN VILLA
Will became a little too obsessed. Oops
Comte's route: it is my fault that you are here, so I will protect you and take care of all your needs while you are here. You'll be the daughter I never had
You: thanks! I'll work around the mansion to pass the time and get to know everyone better
Comte's route later: I know I have pushed you away multiple times but I really love you and I want to spend centuries with you
You: I have seen how bad of a parent you are and I've picked up your dirty clothes off the floor I don't think this is going to work
Comte just keeps daughter zoning you and then is like "so I love you" IS THIS WHERE DAZAI GETS IT FROM.
Sebastian's route: every time you do something wrong I'm going to flick your forehead
You: do that one more time and I swear to God I'm slapping that grin off your face
Sebastian's route later: being with you is making me miss home and consider going back to our time. I would love to go back with you and spend our lives together back in Japan
You: there's so many reasons why this wouldn't work out and staying at the top: YOU TOOK SOME RANDOM PILLS SOME PRIEST GAVE YOU. Not to mention you didn't tell ANYONE you were dying
If you're gonna fall in love with me at least tell me you're going to die in a few months.
Also not going to do the trio in this moment. Oops sorry
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp napoleon#ikevamp mozart#ikevamp leonardo#ikevamp vincent#ikevamp theo#ikevamp arthur#ikevamp Isaac#ikevamp dazai#ikevamp jean#ikevamp shakespeare#ikevamp comte#ikevamp sebastian
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thoughts on nxx as antidepressants please
weeping at this ask. i see my blog has reached INCOMPREHENSIBLE levels of nxx headcanons. im so honored....
that being said, i dont have much experience with antidepressants actually, so to honor the "write what you know" adage, i will be veering outside of antidepressants to anxiety meds and mood stabilizers that i do have more lived experience with. that being said, im not a doctor, but a patient. take all this with a grain of salt.
without further ado
the nxx boys as psychiatric medications ive taken
luke = pregabalin (used to treat anxiety, but ALSO used to treat nerve pain. i was prescribed this not for psych reasons actually but to treat a neurological issue i had, and i wouldnt be surprised if pregabalin was included in luke's list of treatments for his own neurological illness. the anxiety bit also seems fitting for luke because hes the type to endlessly worry himself with all the worse case scenarios, sometimes to his (and others') detriment)
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artem = escitalopram. (baby's first antidepressant!! it was my first, and i think it fits artem well cuz it's used to treat both depression and anxiety, two things i think he has an abundance of. artem gets prescribed this and immediately goes into a self-worth crisis for even needing to take medication. "im really faulty, arent i..." artem thinks. chin up, artem, it aint all that bad!)
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vyn = aripiprazole. (im currently taking aripiprazole as an adjunct medication working together with another thing im taking, and that seems to fit vyn's role as a psychiatrist/psychologist well; somebody to help you along the way in ur mental health journey along with other treatments. plus, aripiprazole is similarly hard to say just like adjudicator)
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marius = lamotrigine. (this is an anti-epileptic medication thats also used as a mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder, and this one is marius primarily because it's the meds i have the hiGHEST DOSAGE FOR, THE PILL IS SO BIG, IT IS MAKING ITSELF KNOWN, just like marius' general 'in your face' facade. my reasoning for this is weakest among the boys, yes, but who knows. marius could have bipolar disorder like me. actually, all of the boys and mc could be bipolar. they all found each other like manic depressive magnets. sorry, what was this part about? i seem to have meandered. oh right. MARIUS. LAMOTRIGINE.)
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thank you for this ask, anon. it gave me a hearty laugh
#i skipped out on assigning one for mc because these are the only meds i can remember right now...memory bad#asks#anon#tears of themis#OH DANG IT I FORGOT ABT MY BESTIE CLONAZEPAM. alas it's too late the response is done and im too lazy to edit it skljdbf
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Been thinking about absolutely strong An has been through this event.
- Finds out her aunt died from her uncle after he said her team would never beat RAD Weekend in their lifetime
- Watched her colleagues (EVER, Arata, Kotaru) get decimated in a singing battle SECONDS AFTER by the same uncle who broke the sad news to them (Arata especially getting Shredded from Taiga’s remarks about carrying dreams since he carries Soma’s dream of becoming the best singer ever)
- Later performing against said uncle with her team WHILE STILL PROCESSING NAGI’S DEATH, WHAT TAIGA IS DOING, and other thoughts racing in her head, only to get eviscerated by him sINCE SHES GOING THROUGH A LOT AT THE MOMENT MENTALLY (“Your Aunt’s dead, your team wont ever beat me, lets have a rap battle now!!” - Taiga)
- Seeing said colleagues leave seemingly forever because their dreams have been shattered, only having her own team
- Her father finding them and telling her the whole truth, which included the reason why until now everyone had been LYING TO HER FOR YEARS about Nagi’s condition
AND THIS HAPPENS ALL IN ONE DAY
AND SHE GETS RIGHT BACK UP AFTER A FEW MOMENTS OF GRIEVING NAGI’S DEATH
She gets back up, thats true, but lets make a few things clear.
She only gets back up because she has her team and her dad. If anyone in her team had given up, i dont think she could've handled. And as much as she is rightfully angry at her dad, he is also a good reason she can stay as confident as she is.
Plus, we know that whatever happened was NOT acceptance, well, it kind of was, but also not. You know the stages of grief are.. weird. An skipped denial (or we can count those three years as denial), right into anger- and she unleashed that anger while singing, and is angry at her town and at her dad- and in between anger she has depression, i would say they're both so intertwined you can barely see which is which. She can't bargain, or maybe she's bargaining at herself, she cant fully break down in front of Taiga, or until she learns of everything.
And once she does, more at side cards than in the actual story. Here comes the acceptance, alongside again more depression. You just know she possibly cried herself to sleep that night- if she slept at all. But also, yes, An is strong, but we cant just ignore the fact that she set her feelings to the side enough to cry at a safe place- and that she has her team to lift her up.
Because for one. Nagi is right. If An knew about it before she met Kohane, and before they formed Vivid Bad Squad, An would have given up on music all together, not that she wasn't strong then, she would have gotten over with that situation, probably EASIER without yknow. Knowing it three years later. But also the main reason she was into music would be gone, so what was the point? Now she has more people- and more reasons- to be into music.
Just adding salt to the wound yknow.
Also my headcanon is that after An was. Like yknow, not fighting tears just because of Nagi's name (which took like a full week), Ken took her to the cemetery where Nagi is, which made An cry all over again but helped her mourn since she never had the chance to, he walked away to give them a bit of privacy while An talks to the grave to give Nagi updates about her life and in the end, she feels more determined than ever, she leaves a little drawing of the vbs logo on top of it and goes back more at peace than when she came in.
#project sekai#proseka#prosekai#an shiraishi#just adding even more salt to the wound#i want to cry while writing this btw#an bbgirl ilysm
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silly rant about wendy and stan :3
but like the rants are seperate
so to whoever wants to read this shit i think wendy doesnt work with anyone else besides stan. if you say "kyle can treat her better!" first of all stfu u kyndy shippers are annoying asf and second of all no he would not. he would clearly get jealous of other guys and he would be really controlling (not in earlier seasons) and lets just be fr for a sec... wendy would either fall out of love or get back with stan again because yknow they always go back to eachother. and plus an arguement between wendy and kyle would be ugly especially if theyre together, they both can get mad asf and the arguement would last ATLEAST a few days. and atleast stan can handle her disagreeing and yelling at him. now lets see who else shes paired with. i wanna talk abt wendy and token. first of all i dont believe wendy ever loved token because we never see theyre relationship outside of raisins. what i believe is that wendy only dated token to try and get stans attention because he did neglect the relationship and maybe she was attention-hungry. and now the final one i wanna talk to about is cartman. i hate wendy x cartman (more than i hate kyndy) because we know it would never work. she even said that she lost all feelings towards cartman after chef goes nanners. and even if you argue and say that they had good chemestry in that episode let me remind you that she ran back to stan at the end of the episode. she clearly hates cartman and clearly would rather killherself than date cartman. i dont think cartman deserves to be with anyone (except maybe yentl) because he's pretty much unlovable.
now onto stan, i dont think he works with anyone but wendy. lets take a look at style. first of all kyle has left stan several times before. he left him for token and he also never helped him with his depression in your getting old. but guess who was there to cheer him up? wendy was. wendy was one of the only people that didnt get sick of him in that episode and it really shows how much she cares for stan. and in you have 0 friends even though wendy was kinda being... weird, stan did listen to her and tried to edit his settings on his facebook.
also i wanna bring up... best friends doesnt = dating.
also i wanna talk abt stendy as a relationship. i think that they might be able to work as friends but as partners is when theyre dynamic works best. girlboss and loser bf. in all honesty stan and wendy might have the best dynamic/healthiest relationship out of everyone. theyve been shown to care about eachother lots of times and in the older seasons was when they really had their cutest moments. modern stendy isnt bad either, wendy is able to forgive stan at the end of the chat gpt episode because she loves him. and stan really cares for wendy too. he went with wendy to see shitty movies just to spend time with her and he also wrote a song for her. stendy is my absolute favorite ship and i hate when ppl make them cheat on eachother. stan would never and wendy wouldnt either. and one thing i noticed is that stan is loyal to wendy, sure he may have had a few crushes on other girls but, he never actually tried to make a move on any of them (except ms ellen) but through out all their break ups, stan never dating anyone besides wendy, which shows he really does love her enough to the point where he would hit on anyone while she was gone
also this section is just random but i wanted to put it here:
would stan work with other girls?
theres 3 main people i wanted to pair stan with. heidi, bebe, and red. first i want to talk abt is red and stan. i feel like they would be more friends than lovers. we dont really see much of reds personality but we do know that she acts like the other girls. stan doesnt really interact with girls that much so we dont really see a certain dynamic between them. another girl i want to talk abt is bebe. bebe is an interstening character, she can be nice, outgoing and funny but she can switch up to be sassy and rude. stan and bebe are like the listeners/jocks of their groups. they both have their hobbys that go on the field (stan plays football and bebe is a cheerleader). i feel like stan and bebe would be besties shit talking everybody. and lastly i want to move onto heidi. i feel like they could work as an alternate incase stan and wendy have a permenant break up (lets be honest thats never happening). i feel like heidi likes/ is fond of stan. she went up to him for advice abt cartman and he's probably the one that knows cartman the least. and in the bracelets episode he asked her for glue which i find funny. and i feel like their love of animals would help them bond.
ok i think im done with this rant
so basically:
wendy and kyle dont get along prob, stendy is a healthy relationship, cartman and wendy hate eachother, stan and red are mutuals, stan and bebe are prob besties, and stan and heidi could work but like... stendy solos.
ok bye yall
#stan marsh#wendy testaburger#stendy#kyle broflovski#heidi turner#bebe stevens#red mcarthur#sp sted#sp steidi#sp stabe#sp kyndy#kyndy#stabe#steidi#candy#wendy x cartman#stan x wendy#stan x heidi#stan x bebe#stan x red#rant#style#stan x kyle
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