#plus the situation with her dad is so so uncomfortable and frustrating and hurtful and she doesn't want people to

[tvrningout]

we turn the page to a new chapter | @metrictita gets a one-liner!

" why does it feel like i'm getting run through? " her heated voice wavers, revealing an old hurt as nari's expression starts to crumble; she won't face mali, though, heart racing and stomach twisting while she keeps her jacket in a death grip. " and why is it just me? he just--- he stands there all stony-faced like it doesn't mean anything. nothing i do, that i've done. " her forehead lands against the apartment's door with a dull thump. " i don't understand, mali. doesn't my dad miss me as much as i miss him? "

[jamiedc-they-them]

Choices you (and us) stand by (Platonic)

Requested Imagine - An operation that brings you back home after being cleared is met by some resistance. But, your friends are there to help.

You had been in the hospital for a bit now. You had been resting, but your friends had made an effort to see you when Malivore wasn’t spitting out monsters.

You appreciate it, really. You really did like seeing your family.

Plus, you felt better with this operation. And they had supported you the whole way, even going with you when the operation came.

When you opened your eyes again, you saw Lizzie smiling at you. You ignored the slightly creepy factor, and just smiled at her, “Hey.” You greeted, voice still groggy from not fully being awake yet.

“Hey back,” She said back. You heard her happiness, and your smile grew; she was doing better, it seemed. You were happy for her, really.

And, by the shine in her eyes, you saw that her feelings for you were vice versa. She saw how much more comfortable you looked now.

“Dad and the others would’ve come. But –”

“Malivore?”  You guessed, “Look, Liz. It’s cool, I get it. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. But, I needed this. I know not everyone is, but I don’t think Malivore would go that low. If they did, I know I’m happy with it.”

Lizzie nodded, but didn’t answer your guess. She just held out a hand, “Doc says it’s time to go. So, what you say, ready to go home?”

You looked at your friend, and smiled hugely this time, “Ready.” You confirmed, taking her hand.

The drive back wasn’t too long, but it was filled with idol chatter about what you had missed. It wasn’t too much, just the norm.

What you knew, and what Lizzie told you, was that Hope had redone your room for you. You knew your sister would do a lot for you, but you didn’t expect that.

“And, here we are.” Lizzie announced as she parked the car. Together you got out. And, as expected, there was your two other sisters awaiting you with a little banner in their hands.

You smiled, and the Josie used a spell to keep the banner up as they hugged you, minding to not rip any stitching.

“Wow, you look great.” Josie complimented as she pulled away from the hug.

“Yeah, you look amazing, Y/N.” Hope agreed, beaming smile on her face. It was unusual for her, but she mainly reserved it for you. And she knew this was a big moment.

“Where’s Alaric?” You asked, wondering where your father figure was.

That made the smiles dim, “What?” You asked, looking between the two. With Lizzie being next to you, you missed how she also looked between the pair in alarm.

“You didn’t sort it?” Lizzie asked through clenched teeth. When she didn’t receive an answer, she stormed inside.

“What’s going on?” You asked your two remaining friends. They shared a side glance, not sure on how to say it.

“Not…not everyone was…positive about it.” Josie said, trying to be as gentle as possible.

“…Oh.” Hope heard the voice tremble, and was quick to put a hand on your arm.

“Hey, it doesn’t reflect on all of us, ok? It’s just a minority. I’m sorry.” She said, seeing how deflated you looked.

“It’s not your fault.” You assured Hope. Both your smiles were dejected and sombre.

It was Josie who then spoke up, “Why don’t we go inside get you to your room?” She offered her arm for a loop, you obliged with the want and were on your way.

You weren’t even if it for two seconds before Lizzie barged in, a pissed off expression clear on her face.

“What is it?” You asked after a moment of silence.

“They know you got back,” At those words, Josie and Hope came to stand by you as they looked to Lizzie; their question was one you didn’t understand.

Whatever it was, Lizzie shook her head before looking at you with a smile, “I’ll be right back. Rest of the squad is looking for hobbit, but I got this. You just relax, Y/N.” Lizzie told you, before she left the room.

“Come on, sit. We’ll help you set up.” Hope said, sitting on said bed and patting the spot next to you.

You sat.

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“I meant what I said before, you look great.” Hope said as the three of you had moved to laying down at the top of the bed; you in the middle and two of your sisters on either side of you. They were both on their sides, facing you, with you looking up at the ceiling.

“You don’t need to keep saying that.” You laughed through your words softly. Hope’s smile grew. She was happy you were happy and allowing yourself time to recover.

“How many disagreed with it?” You asked. That created a lull in the conversation; an uncomfortable atmosphere there.

Lizzie, in any other situation, would’ve probably been more worried about how this would go. Despite the small groups, there were more of them than there was of her. But, in this moment, she didn’t care. To be honest, it went against what the school was about –

Acceptance. And they just seemed to be the anti-all of that despite their own differences.

The levels of irony was not lost on her. In fact, if anything, it was what drove her on further.

“Hey, asshats!” She called out to them. They turned, one even opened their mouths to talk.

That was quickly stopped by a quick silencing spell by Lizzie. She was talking, and they were sure as hell going to listen, “I get that you all are going through your edge grunge phase, but you do know that Y/N is an actual person, right? They chose this, and all you had to do was allow it and move on. I mean, you guys are with Josie, even if she’s just here on visit I haven’t seen one comment against her…”

“I just…I can’t describe it, but –”

“It’s euphoric?” Josie asked, your head then turned to her.

“In a way. I feel…I guess that, yeah. But, I mean, those out there…”

“Ignore them.” Hope said without missing a beat.”

“I can’t, Hope. You know how they stare and whisper. I’m not changing it back. I just…I don’t know…” You trailed off, not sure how to fully get your point across.

“You remember when you came out to mum and dad?” The question got both you and Josie sharply looking at you; it was rare for her to ever bring up your deceased parents. A sore spot for you both.

“You remember what she said?” You nodded, yet your sister continued, “’Ok, honey. I’m just glad you’re being you.’” You gulped as she then said, “And dad. God, dad was so proud, ‘I’m proud of you little one, for being true to yourself. No one can take that from you, ever.’”

“No one can or will. Not as long as we and you have someone to say about it.” Josie concluded, holding one of your hands in her own; it didn’t break you and Hope’s stare however. Josie respected that, it was a big thing to talk about your parents.

 “…And I get that my dad is away, but that doesn’t mean you have to come and ruin this for my friend who has been nothing but kind to all of you. And, what? One little change and choice and suddenly they’re dead to you? This school was built for acceptance, not hatred or anarchy or rebellion.” Lizzie was just getting more and more frustrated; more and more angry; more and more defensive.

Some of the group even looked ashamed. Her words were working. They were changing their minds.

Then, some of those faces shifted again. And she turned to see what had caused it.

It was you, with Hope and Josie stood next to you as a united front.

She wasn’t done, but it seemed that the crowd she had riled up were getting antsy again.

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The spell had worn off, and there were words. There were a lot of words. You had seen Lizzie hateful before, but this was something else.

You heard the words they used to almost try turn it on her, say that she was relapsing. Say that this was why, that she was losing control. They tried to make themselves the victims. They were the ones under attack, not you. Why would it be you? In their minds, as of right now, that seemed to make no sense.

They then saw Josie. They saw how she was doing better at Mystic Falls High and almost happy and content with herself. They blamed it on Josie, that the girl had someone influenced her sister into this; a kind coercion of sought. They brought up the black magic saga she had gone on. Seemed Lizzie was wrong, they hadn’t fully moved on, they just instead waited for the right time to strike with their words.

Oh, and try they did. They swore, cursed – seemed Alaric being gone for the time being really made them go more off the rails than this “protest” already was – hell, one even tried to attack Josie, had Hope not thrown him back.

Josie had backed up in fear, but also moved a bit in front of you; just in case.

Then there was Hope, the oldest of the Mikaelson siblings; the one that mirrored Klaus more and more every day more than you ever would.

They tried to provoke her. They tried to make it seem like it was her fault for your actions, as if she – like they had accused Josie of with Lizzie – swayed you into this decision. Hope knew it made no logical sense, but she was already growing more and more pissed, nails digging into her skin.

Hope knew that, if she needed another forest screaming session, this would have to wait. And there would be a lot more trees knocked down this time because of it.

Then. Then they made a mistake.

They looked at you.

They looked at you, the whole reason they had banded together.

The whole reason Lizzie had gone after them.

You.

To you, it was just noise. Your ears were ringing as you tried to remember the words Josie and Hope had given you before, along with the other affirmations your parents had given you.

Your friends had been there every step of the way. They had tried to do what they could. And now you had done and all they wanted was to help celebrate it and help you settle back into your life at the school.

Now though, now you were just being yelled at. You saw your friends look to you, and you saw the concern on their features as your eyes did fill with tears. But you also felt the hurt and pain inside, and how that morphed into two things; fight or flight.

As the leader of the group got closer to you, Hope was quick to fling him back.

As you heard what you didn’t doubt was a fight ensuing, you chose flight.

 You ran into Alaric’s office, glad for once that he was gone. You didn’t need him right now. Well, you did, but –

You knew you needed what had been done. You knew it, that was why you had it done. You knew you had support and you knew that not everyone would.

You just didn’t expect it to be so…extreme.

Maybe you could transfer along with Josie, maybe there they would –

“Y/N?” A voice asked. You turned, seeing the three at the entrance to the office, Josie and Lizzie with a cut and bruise or two, but nothing major.

Still –

You sat in the chair, face in your hands. You heard feet shuffle, a chair scrape, and someone grunt a bit as they sat on a table – as you heard papers being shuffled.

You felt someone put their hands on your shoulders, trying to massage them as best as she could.

“I’m sorry.” You said in utter despair, “I didn’t mean to –”

“You didn’t cause anything. Those guys were just assholes for the sake of it.” Lizzie was blunt, and used more colourful language, but it was what you loved about her.

You felt two hands grab both of yours and hold them in the gap between you and them, “They just can’t accept it. But, we’ve got your back on this. On anything. You deserve to be and look the way you want.” That was Josie.

So that meant – “I think I speak for all of us, when I say that we’d do it again.”

“You helped me out of my subconscious, helped me find my strength. And, if I’m honest, I’m jealous, Y/N, you took a stand for what you wanted and went for it.” You opened your eyes when Josie had stopped talking, seeing her soft face and gentle smile on her lips.

You sniffled a bit, looking to Lizzie, who rolled her eyes half heartedly but nodded with a smile.

Hope then moved out in front of you, “What do you say? You ready?” She asked, holding out a hand for you.

“Ready.” You confirmed, holding her hand and leaving with your three sisters.

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You got more smiles than you expected, but you smiled back as you all went back to your room. It  had been a day, even before this conflict, and you definitely needed your rest now.

You all made idol chatter as you went. Most of it about the school and Malivore, but you were calmer now. You were freer with each other.

It was like nothing had changed.

However –

“There they are, Doctor Saltzman.” One of the old group said as Alaric followed her, she even pointed to you as if he needed to know for sure.

Alaric looked to you four for an explanation.

As the other three went to speak, you put your hand up. They paused, looking to you. You gave them a smile, and went over to Alaric as the three trailed behind you.

“Doctor S, I’m sorry for the fight that happened. I didn’t want it to turn into a scrap. It was just a group of people not really liking what I’d done. But, to be honest, I didn’t really see how it effects them at all. All it did is help me and do good. I don’t see the bad. But, I am sorry for the fight.” You said, as calmly as you could.

Alaric nodded, “Thank you, Y/N. There’s gonna be some cleaning needed, but we’ll figure all that out after. I’m just glad you’re ok.” He said with a smile. With that, he passed you and went to the office, with the student following, this time in a sombre way.

You looked back at the three, who all smiled at you, “Come on, let’s go back. You’ve had a long day.” Hope offered, holding out her hand.

“I’ll go get the ice-cream.” Lizzie said, Josie going with her to help with the bowls.

You took your sisters hand, going back to your room.

Sure, there would always be naysayers about your choice. But, who were they to judge? They weren’t you.

The school was built on acceptance, not hate. And you were sure Alaric was going to instil it in that student or have them leave.

But, to you, you just felt better.

You felt at home, both internally and externally.

You let out a breath of content.

[mageofseven]

Hey, I just read your post about MC's pregnancy with Satan (which is amazing, by the way) and it got me wondering... What if MC felt pain during the pregnancy and the only way to make it go away would be with the brothers talking to their children? Like, Satan was so soft and cute, it got me curious about how the others would be and say to their babies. Hope you have a nice day! 💫

Aww. Okay, this is a cute ask. Of course~ time to give the other brothers time to calm their babies with loving words while they're in their mommy 🥰

Oh! And for reference to those who either haven't read it or don't remember, this is what Nonnie is referring to with Satan.

Also, I only included Lucifer, Mammon, and Leviathan in this, but will do the last three brothers (Satan is excluded from this since this prompt is based off one of his posts) in another post. I decided to do this since Next Gen posts tend to take me a while to do, despite the fact that they are my favorite to answer, and since I haven't posted much lately and wanna give ya guys more content.

So please enjoy!

Part 2

~

Lucifer:

Finding out that his daughter inherited demonic strength while she was still in her mother was a quite a terrifying thing for him, not that he'd admit it to most since he feels like he always needs to seem collected and on top of things.

Luckily, Lucifer truly is the type to keep his emotions in check when he needs to act

So when MC hit 5 months and had her first episode of pain, it only took a moment for the oldest to spring into action in order to help his Love.

Watching the human's belly get bruised from each quick kick and jab was difficult for him, but as some one skilled in magic, more so than all of his brothers combined, he knew a spell to use.

Hand hovering over her belly, a pale blue light extended from his finger tips and was absorbed into her skin.

The spell calmed his distressed child and stopped his Love's pain, but he didn't find out the reason for the episode till later that evening.

Discovering that MC's body wasn't absorbing the dark energy needed for their daughter's soul fast enough, causing the baby to become upset and lash out in fear...well, it wasn't an easy truth to handle.

Still, he didn't hesitate to push past his worry and look into a solution.

After consulting various experts he had connections with and looking through books, he discovered that most potions and spells that could help weren't human-safe in the long term, not even the calming spell he had been using so far.

When he discovered a non magical method, one that literally just required his time and his voice, he was genuinely surprised. Was it truly as easy as talking to his daughter?

When MC had her next episode, the two were preparing for bed. The human had finished slipping into her pjs just for the pain to hit her and cause her to lower to the ground as she hugged her stomach.

Lucifer quickly stopped changing and let his shirt fall to the floor, helping his Love over to the bed.

He felt somewhat awkward, even a little embarrassed to speak to his unborn child, but barely paused at all.

Leaning in close to MC's belly, he spoke softly to his daughter. Without really knowing what to say, he essentially started lecturing the baby on her behavior, though he really didn't realize it. He just knew he needed to speak and spoke what was currently on his mind. Lucifer was worried about MC, worried about his daughter, so though it was a lecture, it was a lecture filled with love and concern.

It's not as if their daughter has developed anywhere near enough to know what her daddy was saying though; all their baby recognized was her daddy's soft, loving tone and that was enough calm her and make her feel safe.

Overall, it was successful, taking not quite six minutes to make the pain completely cease.

Still kneeling in front of her, the demon took his girlfriend's hand and kissed it before giving it a gently squeezed and looking up at the sniffling human.

"Are you alright, Love?"

From then on, the demon never strayed far from his Love in case such an episode would spring up again.

Whenever possible though, Lucifer would always carry her off somewhere they could be alone when an episode started; he didn't want to have to try to calm his child while his brothers were freaking out around him and in truth, he found the situation a bit embarrassing. To be more specific, he was uncomfortable letting his brothers hear him speak so tenderly against MC's belly. Occasionally it was unavoidable though and the oldest had to deal with some of his brothers teasing him about it afterwards, especially Mammon.

Overall, such a method is a private, but meaningful thing to him. Even as the episodes lose their frequency, he still finds himself talking to his daughter. Essentially starts the lecturing while Ksenia is too young to realize she is being lectured, but it comes from a very loving place and that's what his daughter responds to.

Mammon:

Oh man, did this dude freak out when the first episode happened.

He tried very hard to keep calm, but it was obvious to anyone who saw him that he was panicking.

He managed to help MC over to the couch and had enough of his brain functioning to realize that he should go get Lucifer from help.

Honestly terrified and thought something was wrong. Well, scratch that. Something was very wrong, but more specifically, both he and MC were scared that she was losing their baby because the pain was so bad.

Luckily, after Mammon bursted into Lucifer's study and had the oldest come out to help, they find out that's not the issue at all. The Avatar of Pride didn't know exactly what the problem was yet, but it wasn't that. He used a calming spell on the human's belly that lightly sedated the child and ended the pain, though they all knew that it was just a temporary solution.

The two older brothers manage to rope Satan into things, having the blonde look through all of his books and do whatever magical tests he needs to in order for them to understand just what's happening with MC and the baby.

Mammon hovered around MC constantly at this point and kept bugging Satan for answers. The second brother didn't mean to seem impatient or ungrateful or anything like that; he was simply worried, even if he tried to pretend otherwise. It didn't stop the blonde from getting frustrated though.

When he found out about the slow energy absorption and how it was essentially scarying his baby girl into hurting her mama, Mammon felt guilty as hell. I mean, of course this would happen; MC is human. Of course her body can't absorb it fast enough. And yet...he still had to be a dumbass and knock her up. Now both his Human and his little girl were suffering 'cause of him.

While Satan searched for methods to stop the episodes and potentially help speed up the absorption process, Mammon kept buying stuff.

Yep. Boy had a guilted heart that pushed him to buy MC stuff. Technically, most of it was for their daughter, but seeing MC's face light up at the cute outfits and toys he got for their kid was exactly what the Avatar of Greed needed.

Mammon...he needed to feel like her was doing something right. For years. His brothers have treated him like he was nothing but a screw up and this situation...it really made all of their words ring in his head, made him feel like they just might be true.

Finding out that all he had to do to stop the pain was talk to his daughter? Easy peasy! Honestly, the dude was just glad there was something he could do.

Yes, his face was red the first time he had to do it. Plus, it was kinda hard to focus on his words since MC was crying in pain and he just wanted to focus on comforting her, but he couldn't.

Tells his baby girl to listen up because her Great Papa Mammon is here and she doesn't have to be scared anymore. One of the more blunt brothers with his kid and just out and tells Cassia that she'll get the dark energy she needs, no worries!

"So no worryin' and go easier on ya Ma, got that Babygirl?"

It was a slow start, but the episode ended in only 12 minutes, much better than the hour the pain would normally last.

Feels much less guilty here on out and when he does, the tsundere will snuggle up to MC and get all blushy, asking if he can have some belly time to talk to their baby.

Definitely the type of the dad to ask his girlfriend to let him have a 'private' talk with their unborn baby just to level with her belly and tell their daughter what a beautiful, sweet, and strong woman her mama is, ultimately smirking the entire time.

Leviathan:

Oh boy, did this man panic. Not sure whether he could have calmed down enough to help or at least get help for MC's first episode because he didn't really get the chance-- Asmo was passing by in the hall when he heard the couple screaming (MC in pain, Levi in panic) and ran to get help for them after poking his head in and seeing the scene.

First one the fifth brother ran into? Satan. The blonde kinda froze at the situation he was dragged into at first, but he remained calm for the most part and tried spell after spell, searching for a remedy to whatever was happening to the human and her child.

The blonde was just as surprised and relieved when the calming spell worked and the human's pain died down.

At some point during the episode, MC had clung and pressed herself against her boyfriend, crying into his chest and in turn, Levi held her tightly, as if he'd lose her if he let go. Even after her pain stopped, the two never let go of each other.

From there, Satan left to get some books from his room to do some tests to see if he could figure out what had transpired.

Levi couldn't even bring himself to look at MC's belly, which was covered in black and blue. He actively avoided lowering his gaze as he anxiously kept asking his Henry if could do something for her, which the human only shook her head. All MC wanted was answers and for Levi to not let go of her yet.

Hearing from Satan later about the issue with MC's absorption rate and his son's fear, the man immediately fell into himself, calling himself selfish and horrible and utterly worthless. Like Mammon, he blamed himself for this, but unlike the second brother, he didn't try to pretend he was okay.

It took a lot of comfort from MC as well as his brothers constantly telling him that he can't be falling apart now, for the man to break out of it a bit. They were right; Levi knew this. He wanted to be there for MC and help her with whatever she needs him to so instead of just knocking himself down, he needs to do the very things she needs him to do.

What did he need to do specifically though? He wasn't really sure till Satan came to him the talking strategy he discovered.

Talking to MC's belly? Talking to their son during an episode? The otaku found it embarrassing... I mean not a bad embarrassing, but still.

When the next episode occurred, the man almost forgot the method, if he's honest. Just like the first time, he panicked and just held his Henry close for a bit before he realized what he should be doing.

Accidentally shoved her away in his panic and quickly apologized before kneeling down in front of her belly.

Goes from apologizing to MC to beginning his little talk with his son with an apology for him. Tells Kai that he's sorry that he's so scared, sorry that things ended up like this, but that even Levi sees now that things will be okay. Gives a lot of reassurance to his son that he'll be okay.

Levi... it's no secret that he has a lot of anxiety problems; he's such a big worrier. This whole situation kinda puts a thought at the back of him; what if his son is like him in that regard? Will Kai become just as scared of people's judgements and whatever troubles could come in the future, just like him? The Avatar of Envy didn't want that for his son.

Promises to his son that he'll never have to be afraid of the things that Levi himself is. He leans in closer to the human's belly and tells his son that he'll do anything and everything to make sure that his son will live a safe, but unrestrained life; a life better than the one Levi has been living himself by hiding away from the world in his room.

It was at that promise where his son finally calmed down and the episode ended. He watched MC wipe the tears from her face for a minute before rising up and pulling his Henry in for a hug.

"I'm sorry." The demon murmured. "I'm sorry this kind of thing is gonna keep happening, but I'll always stop it for you. I'll keep fixing it and it'll be okay."

Overall, the episode only lasted about eight minutes, though two of those minutes was Levi panicking and forgetting he had to talk to his son.

Blushes each and every time he has to talk to his son during an episode without fail.

Not the type to do it outside of the episodes. Instead, he gotten a bit more cuddly around MC's belly. Often asks if the two of them can go lay down together so he can lay close to her belly and hug it. Especially feels the need to do that on his more anxious days.

[amor-immortalem]

My Adoring Fan chapter 7

Chapter 6

Warnings: Racism, use of a slur (the term half-breed, not an actual real world slur)

A/N: a little insight in to how Azalea lost her eye and the situation that caused it. Plus a reason for why she acts out in the way she does.

Among the last to enter among the students was Max, just barely in time for the bell to ring. She took a seat at the same table as Aurelius and Persephone just behind the table Zulima was seated at. Already, the future Avatar of Lust was chatting up her friends from the prior term excitedly.

“Hey, Golden Boy, how was your week on house arrest with your parents?” She teased him with the nickname Azalea often called him by- a riff on the translation of his name from Latin.

“It was fine. Lots of babysitting when my parents or Cyrus weren’t home which I don’t mind since it’s not like they can call on ‘Zay to watch our little brother- she won’t do it.”

“Really, I thought she was getting better about Mahlon?”

“Well, kinda... At least she can tolerate being in the same room as him now...which sucks because all he really wants is her attention.”

“Baby steps, I guess.” Max hummed as she noticed Persephone. “There you are! How are you doing after you tripped?”

“I’m well, thanks for asking.” The succubus smiles.

“That’s good. I’m sorry about what Azalea said to you earlier. It doesn’t excuse how she acted, but sometimes she can get so worked up over the little things...”

“No, that’s alright. I was kind of expecting something like that. I’ve... heard somethings about her at the House of Sorrow.”

“Most of its slander,” Aurelius says as he leans back in his chair. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Her behavior here at school is just a front. When we’re outside of school and with our family, she’s an absolute dork. And sure, she’s not afraid to throw down, but it’s all for a just cause. Most of the fights she gets into here are with the same guy because he’s an absolute creep and makes most of the girls uncomfortable and they're all afraid of him since he towers above them, so she stands up for them. Unfortunately, none of the other students won’t stick up for her when a teacher shows up and she gets blamed for throwing the first punch.”

“That seems a little unfair. Why doesn’t your sister ever say anything?”

“Well, our dad’s unfortunately a very busy demon. He doesn't have as much time for us as he would like to have like he did when we were little so she at some point in a bid to get him to give her the attention needed to satisfy her greed, got it in her head that if she gets into trouble on a regular basis, he would have to give her the attention she craves. It works but it’s been straining their relationship big time because he gets frustrated with her since he knows what a good kid she actually is... They used to fight three or four times a week about it.”

“That must’ve been tough on her...”

“She’s been on a good streak lately though,” Max offered. “As silly as it is, we actually have a white board up in the kitchen that lists the number of days it's been since her last fight. We have a reward system to go with it. It’s been three months already.”

“That long already?” The half-demon asks.

“Yep. She’s been on her best behavior ever since losing her eye.”

“Wait, your sister lost an eye?” The former idol asks in shock. “How did that happen?”

Aurelius and Max looked between each other with a frown. “A group of lower demons with an axe to grind against my dad abducted her and essentially tortured her for three months. They tried to hit him where it would hurt him the most by taking away his only daughter. For as much as they used to fight when she’d get in trouble, she has a special place in his heart. Out of the four of us kids, Azalea’s the one who’s most closely bonded with our father. It was four days before any of us noticed that she was missing... Our parents feel especially bad about it...”

Persephone was about to say something when the teacher entered and called for the class's attention.

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By the time Azalea managed to make it to homeroom, the class had already started a half hour ago. As she strolled in, the teacher called her out on her late arrival.

“Well, well, well. So nice of you to join us at your leisure, Morningstar. You’d better have a good reason for being late.”

“Didn’t wanna come ‘n have ta listen ta yer annoyin’ voice for an hour.” The girl responds, openly taunting her teacher. “Got better things ta do than listen ta you call me a worthless half-breed.”

“Well, you’re still as much of a brat as ever. Maybe if you put as much care into arriving to your homeroom hour as you did into your other classes, I wouldn’t have such a problem with you. Now go sit down and try to behave yourself in my class. Or can you not even manage that?”

“I dunno. Can you actually manage ta properly teach a single one of yer classes?” She sneered.

“Go sit down before I give you detention, you spoiled delinquent.” She grumbled. “I swear, not even your father was this disrespectful towards me when he was a student here.”

Azalea only rolled an eye as she headed toward the back of the class were her brother and Max were seated.

“Where do you think you’re going, half-breed?”

“To do what ya said and sit down,” Her grip on her cane tightened, the slur a trigger word for her. “Or do ya just want me ta hold up the class?”

A couple of students snickered amongst themselves.

“According to this educational plan your parents and uncle have written up for you, you have to sit up front where I can keep eyes on you and there are no distractions. Or are you so stupid and forgetful that you don’t remember signing this yourself? Also, I want that cane that you have after you sit down. You’re not allowed weapons on school premises.”

“No. I ain’t givin’ it to ya and it ain’t a damn weapon. I need it ta see where I’m fuckin’ goin’ on the right side. Get over it, teach.”

The teacher only let out a frustrated growl. “You know what, I don’t have to deal with this. Get out of my classroom. Off with you to the headmaster’s office. Your referral will be up momentarily.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Aurelius stood from his table abruptly.

“Yeah,” Zulima piped up as well. “You’re the one who copped an attitude with her in the first place.”

“And you’ve been insulting her and you called her a slur. You’re the one in the wrong here.” Max spoke up.

“Would the three of you like to join her then? I can write anything about you all on here and it’ll be your word against mine. Now sit down, all three of you. I don’t want to hear a single word out of the three of you unless spoken to for the rest of the class.”

“Don’t talk to my family and my friend like that, ya hag!”

“I fucking dare you,” Aurelius growled as he moved to stand beside his older sister. “I fucking dare you to write the four of us up. It’ll be the last thing you do.”

The rest of the class was dead silent as they all looked between their teacher, Azalea, and Aurelius.

“I will. Now the four of you get out of my sight. It’s ridiculous that Lord Diavolo would allow trash such as you abominations into our fine establishment of a school in the first place. This is a school for demons, not half-breeds and a lowly human.”

“We’re not trash or abominations. Unlike you, we’re nobility of the highest degree.” Zulima glared at the teacher as she gathered her things and went to join the twins by the door. “Our Uncle will hear about this exchange. Plan on looking for another job in the near future- if you even survive, that is.”

“You claim it’s your word against ours but you do know that our word holds so much more weight than yours ever will, right?” Max joined the three half-demons by the door before they all headed out.

------------------------------------------------------

“Sorry I got ya guys kicked outta class with me...” Azalea sighs as the four of them head toward Lord Diavolo’s office.

“Eh, small price to pay for standing up for you.” Aurelius shrugs. “That teacher’s always had a stick up her ass anyway.”

“I hope she gets fired at the very least,” Zulima nodded. “She nearly failed me last term in World Language. All because she couldn’t believe that I could write a college-level thesis in Latin. Told me an airhead like myself could never be capable of writing such a competent paper and that I must have plagiarized it or cheated in some fashion.

“I almost failed her Potions class as well last term,” Max hummed. “And she set me up on it too. I know she did. I don’t get how a teacher can have her hands in so many subjects at the same time and still be a shit teacher.”

“All teachers here at RAD have an all-around degree in education,” Azalea explained. “I get why she would have it out for me, but the three of you- what did y’all do to her?”

“Other than daring to exist? Nothing actually,” Aurelius sighs, “And that’s the infuriating part of it all. We’ve done nothing wrong and yet we still get put down.”

“And it’s not like we just cruised past the entrance exams because the headmaster is a close family friend...” the silver-haired girl wiped at her eyes. “We all worked our butts off to study and ace the entrance exams... I lost so many nights of beauty sleep while we studied under Uncle Satan- especially when we didn’t have too.”

“So, you all could have gotten in without the entrance exams?” The human asks, ice-blue eyes shining curiously.

“Lord Diavolo told us whether we did well on the entrance exams or not, a place in RAD was assured for us because he’d seen our grades in primary school and middle school and knew we would do great things as a part of the student body.” the green-eyed teen nodded. “But we all wanted to prove to everyone without a doubt that we belonged here.”

“It’s still like that.” Azalea smiled sadly. “That’s why I pushed myself ta make it inta the advanced studies programme in the first place and why I shoot for the top spot in the end of term exams. We’re so heavily criticized by everyone outside of our family that I told myself I’d make my grades so perfect that they wouldn’t have room ta talk trash about my intelligence and when they called me weak, I started getting inta fights ta prove my power and strength as the daughter of one of the strongest demons in the devildom so no one would dare to question it again- well that was part of the reason anyway.”

“Imagine what it’ll look like when Meli gets here next year,” Zulima chuckles, “If that teacher doesn’t get fired, Meli might actually kill her in a rage. If there’s anyone who hates being called a half-breed more than us, it’s her.”

“RIP to her then. Maybe Meli might knock that hag down a peg and I hope she does.” Aurelius laughed as they finally made it to their destination.

“Ready everyone? If they don’t believe us- which is highly unlikely- I have audio of the way she talked to us.” Max says as she opens the door.

The four of them are greeted by the secretary who greeted them kindly. “Hello, children. I already know what Azalea is here for but what about the rest of you? You should all be in class.”

“We got kicked out for standing up for ‘Zay.” Zulima sighed. “So the teacher sent us up to the headmaster’s office.”

“That’s unfortunate.” The demon frowned. “Lord Diavolo is in an all-day meeting with the Avatars. You four can just go back to your dorm and you’ll meet with him tomorrow at 6 am. Sound good?”

The teens nodded at that and Azalea pulled out her D.D.D.

“What are you doing?” Max asks, arms slung around her girlfriend's shoulders.

“Callin’ Mum ta see if she’ll come pick us up. I don’t really wanna walk all the way back home and I’d rather be there than at the House of Lamentation. Plus, you’ve never seen our house before and I wanna show ya what it looks like since whenever we had a break ya always went ta stay with Zulima.”

“Also, I don’t think our parents would appreciate me not going straight home after getting sent home early. I don’t want them to think that I’m breaking the rules of my punishment.”

“That sounds great!” Zulima smiled. “We’ll be able to explain what happened easier if we’re all in one place. I don’t think Uncle Lucifer would take to kindly to having to go to two separate places just to hear the same story twice.”

“Yeah, sounds ‘bout right.” The white- and black-haired girl placed the phone up to her ear as she waited for her mother to pick up.

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[kdramachitchat]

Yumi's Cells Episode 3 Recap - First impressions always count. Yumi and Woong heads out to a homecooked meal restaurant & a frog festival on their first date.

Episode 3 of Yumi’s Cells begins with Yu-mi forcing herself to laugh through Gu-Woong’s awful jokes. Thankfully their coffee is ready and Emotion Cell as livid, with Gu-Woong keeping the conversation flowing by discussing what he’s working on back home. Gu-Woong is a game maker and showed the game about puppies and looks like Yumi is interested.

In Cell Land Hunger strikes. And just in time too given Emotion and the other cells are so tired. Hilariously, Hunger plays the belly pipe which is what causes her stomach to grumble.

Gu-Woong hears this but pretends he doesn’t, tells her it's already dinner time and invites  Yu-Mi to join him at a restaurant of his choice. In fact, she absolutely loves the food there too, downing the dishes. He even let her take the first bite too, he's polite and it seems that Yu-Mi is totally impressed with the food enjoying everything.

This is enough to win over a lot of the cells – except Emotion and Anxious Cell. She keeps her guard up despite Gu-Woong hitting all the right notes. On the otherhand, Anxious Cell is worried about Yu-Mi's blouse getting ruined with the boiling dish that may splatter on her. Before she even took the first bite, Woong is fast enough and gave her a apron. He's a total gentleman. The Cells are impressed that he's considerate, Emotions still dont like him and Anxious does. He has good manners. They both enjoy home-cooked restaurants too which both of them appreciate. Even Fashion Cell likes what he wore its elaborately calculated as a perfect effortless look. Hahaha. Fashion Cell instantly likes him so does the rest of the Cells cept for Emotion.

Well i think first impressions are always the most important. With my second impression of Woong, i love how he ignored the grumble of her stomach to try not to embarrass her he politely solved the situation which is considered a plus point for me. 

After the meal, Woong caught Yu-Mi who's about to pay for their meal but Woong stopped her and tells her that she'll pay, while accidentally holding her hand. The Cells started floating on air like they're on cloud 9.

Woong suggests they go to the park and check out the frogs. The date went so well and she's totally not into the frog festival. Though the Cells are having fun and wants to go but not Emotion. Woong pays for the entrance tickets and the ticket lady mentions that they get a discount if they're a couple. Woong says no and Yu-Mi says they are. Woong ended up surprised. The ticketlady gave them headbands to upload on social media and they'll get even more discounts if they take the headband.

While there, one of the workers asks if they’re a couple. While a bit awkward to begin with, Finance kicks in for Yu-Mi and focuses on how much money she can save if she says yes. Well, one thing leads to another and the pair snap a couple photo together, which Yu-Mi decides to put up on social media.

This act attracts the attention of Ru-Bi, who immediately rings Gu-Woong and asks what’s going on. Woong ends their conversation quickly and keeps his focus on Yu-Mi. Nosy Ruby needs to get her thoughts away from Yu-Mi like she's obsessed with who she dates. Woong tells her that Ru-Bi is weird because she talks to him in 3rd-person and Yu-Mi laughed at his comment. She laughed for real this time, finally. Emotion is pissed and wants to go home, Anxious is worried about Ru-Bi. Woong tells her that he can't really lie and says it like he means it. I like him. The Cells does too, he's honest, polite, considerate. All good factors. Emotion Cell is now impressed and decides not to use the robot doll cell.

With the date going so well and Yu-Mi impressed by Woong's compliments she decided to treat him and buy popcorn. Woong tells her that she doesn't have to be grateful when he told her she's cute its because he's honest. The Cells like him too as long as he doesn't do those awkward jokes and they all approve. Hysterius Cell shows up in Cell land and presses the mood lever down, sending Yu-Mi into a depressive downward spiral. Because of this, she suddenly skips out and decides to go home. This is just terrible. The date was doing so and its all Hysteriuis Cell's fault. For once i'm actually mad at a Cell, i don't think i'm going to like him very much.

Things all got very awkward when they both head home. Woong tried to make her laugh with his dad jokes but Yu-Mi wasn't feeling well and head up to the bus. She wants to save herself from heartache like her past relationships. After the date, Woong sees Saeyi heading home and tells her that he likes Yu-Mi. Once he got back, this terrible parting effected Woong too and he's worried that she's not replying to his messages. Meanwhile, in Woong's Cell land a imaginary Yu-Mi has taken over. Like she's all he's thinking about. Woong waits for her texts and looks like he was about to tear up. He immediately heads online to search reasons for her not replying during their first date. With Hysteria still attacking Cell land, Emotion, Fashion and Anxious Cells reach out to Reason Cell. Reason Cells tell them that Hysteria Cell is afraid that Yu-Mi may struggle and will hurt again. They all find a solution and it's Hunger Cell they can rely on. Yu-Mi looses her appetite, lays down and didn't bother replying to Woong. They don't want to think that Woong was rejected by her.

Jumps to conclusions finding reasons as to why she's not replying. Goes on forums to find comments, he thinks about what he has done during their blind date. He believes it’s his beard.  Even asked advice from Louis and he tells Woong that her not replying means he's dumped. On her way to work, she misses her bus and sits down on the bench seeing the candy that Woong gives her on her back. The lights went back on Cells land after she ate the candy. Yu-Mi eventually messages to let him know she’s okay and had fun. Sigh of relief. So it's definitely a misunderstanding on his part because Yu-Mi fell asleep. Woong decided to shave his beard that morning! Sae-Yi is surprised that Woong shaved his beard with the reason being it's a sign of a man's pride but he didn't give a exact reason for him to do so. It just shows that Woong likes her alot.

Yu-Mi messages Woong and tells him to get to work safetly and Woong is happy. Woong messages back and lets her know that he’s shaved his beard. Hilariously, Yu-Mi ended up confused but really didn't care if he did, thinking it's probably one of his jokes.  Even the Cells are confused thinking it's probably slang or something bad. Fashion Cells takes it literally and is impressed once again.

While on the way to work after the bus, Ru-Bi annoys her once again asks about her date. She needs to stop with her nosy attitude. Yu-Mi is stressed and wants to ignore Ru-Bi, so she skipped the elevator and went up the stairs. The office found out about her blind date and her office mates are being nosy. She's stressed about the situation and so are the cells who are wanting for Ru-Bi to shut her mouth. It's a headache and the cells village is about to blow up. The whole day Yu-Mi hasn't eaten and Hunger Cell isn't doing well.

Woong texting Yumi asking her if she has any plans. After Yu-Mi telling him that she doesn't have plans after work. Woong replies back and asks her out on a dinner date. Before she can even reply, a staff who's in a hurry bumped into Yu-Mi, which led Yu-Mi’s phone to break. Urgh. Can the day get any worst? 2nd date please and poor Woong. Yu-Mi is contemplating on pursuing with him and is letting out her feelings to a co-worker. She's afraid to feel hurt, tells her co-worker that her phone broke because it's a sign of the universe for her to not see him anymore.

Woong seeks council from Sae-Yi and Louis, who checks out the text messages and believes that Yu-Mi wanted to end the conversation because of her sentence structures but he didn’t get the hint, making him look clingy and uncomfortable. As the trio about to head out, Woong stays in and tells Sae-Yi that he doesn't condemn to people telling him what to do and that he's slow-witted. That's just the way he is. He knows himself well.

At work, Yu-Mi feels ill she excuses herself to her boss and decides to go home. It's raining outside and she didn't bring an umbrella.  Ru-Bi follows her out of the building and suggests she ring Woong using her number and let him know. After all her pent up frustration, she let it out on Ru-Bi and tells her it's enough. Ru-Bi says that she's just trying to help because she supports them both. Hysteria Cell on the other hand is enjoying this and wants her to release all her negative emotions.

Yu-Mi admitted that she’s always been alone – and will continue to be alone because that's what makes her comfortable. Can someone give Yu-Mi a hug? As they talk, Woong suddenly shows up with an umbrella. Yu-Mi turns and looks at him with amazement. Her knight and shining armor.

[hopeshoodie]

I can’t believe it took me until part 8 to do my favorite boy but

 Here are the pros and cons of dating

Noah

 Cons

Noah is really non confrontational, so he tends to let issues fester. It’s not that he’s trying to let things build up, it’s just that he doesn’t think they’re important enough to bring up. He won’t start a fight about them when they’ve built up, but if MC is angry about something he’ll mention that there’s a bunch of things he’s let go but not have specifics. It ends up coming out like ‘yeah well what about all the other things?!’ ‘what other things!?’ ‘I don’t remember!!’. He’s not actively keeping track of all her mistakes, he genuinely does forgive and forget, but then when tensions come to a boil he needs to point out that there has been conflict that he just ignored. He’s not trying to guilt or gaslight MC, but sometimes it feels like it. If she thinks especially little of his intentions, it feels like he’s just pulling things out of thin air to be mad instead of focusing on the issue. That’s not what he’s doing- he just doesn’t address little things until they feel like big things. But of course he hasn’t done the introspection to truly understand how doing this is hurtful or articulate that he doesn’t mean it to be. 

When he and MC disagree, he lets things go wayyy too easily. This is fine if MC is a really mature, self-reflective person who can see that she’s crossed a line after the fact. But if MC is a little more selfish/immature, like Lottie, this is a huge con because he doesn’t give her accountability that would help her grow. We saw this with Hope- she wasn’t able to recognize how harmful her temper was when she was dating Noah because he never pointed it out, he just rolled over. If there’s a genuine problem- financial, emotional, logistically, he’ll ‘let it go’ until it’s a way bigger problem (and much harder to solve). 

Sorry that most of these cons are about how he fights with people, but that’s what we saw in-game lol. I’d love to know more about how Lucas or Rahim fight with their partners. But when you’re arguing, Noah tends to focus on really little details of what you said instead of listening to the whole thing and getting a sense of the bigger picture. So let’s say the issue is ‘Noah, I need you to tell me when you’re borrowing my car because you took it to the gym and then it went from having enough gas to get me to work in the morning to being on empty. This morning I had to stop for gas and that made me late.” The issue there is actually ‘please tell me when you’re using my car”, but he fixates on the gas part and says “well fine I can fill up your tank”. So he focuses on little details that he can fix instead of acknowledging the actual problem.

He internalizes things so fucking hard. Yes he intellectually knows that when MC gives him feedback on things she’s talking about his BEHAVIOR and not him as a person, but he definitely feels like shit about himself if he makes a mistake and MC calls him on it. He’ll definitely beat himself up about things for weeks after it happens, and his internal dialogue in general is pretty toxic. 

I can see him being a bit of a workaholic. Not in the same sense that Camilo is in Boat Party, but Noah definitely will go into the library on a day he’s scheduled to be off if he has projects to work on or will stay late because he got engrossed in research. Same thing now that the library’s closed because of COVID- it takes him two times as long to put everyone online and work from home, so he’s spending more time working than ever. He views it through the lens of the ‘greater good’- getting that display set up for the patrons is more important that seeing his wife two hours earlier because many members of the community outnumber one person. Plus he just cares so much about his work that he has a hard time seeing it as an inconvenience to other people.

He loves his family so much. Even when MC and he get married and have kids, he struggles to prioritize them over his siblings and parents. So if his little brother Arlo needs money, Noah won’t hesitate to give him a loan even if he and MC are struggling financially. If his aging mom or dad can’t live alone anymore, Noah will invite them to move in with his family, even if their house isn’t big enough to accommodate more people. I can see this being a huge point of contention, especially in that second scenario where MC would have to take on a caretaker role as well. Noah just wants to help people so bad and has a hard time saying no, so that can sometimes impede his partner.

He’s really used to living on low income, and so he has a lot of frugal habits and concessions that he thinks are normal that someone more middle or upper class might find irritating. These are all coming from my experience and things partners have complained about- but think things like only eating out once a month or refusing to turn the heat on until it’s dangerous or making his own laundry detergent. He grew up doing them out of necessity (and still does, student debt on a public librarian’s budget? I couldn’t do it), so he doesn’t realize how strange or frustrating his habits might be to someone who isn’t used to it. He also has a really hard time justifying spending excessive amounts of money, so if MC has lavish taste there’s going to be some conflict.

He doesn’t like initiating anything. Conversations, activities… you know *smirk emoji*. He will, but the ratio of when Noah suggests something to when MC does is like 1:8

My boy is beautiful, and his clothes look lovely, but he has 7 outfits that he rewears all the time. The closest thing to fashion is him putting a different button up shirt underneath his vest. It’s definitely a joke at work that he wears the same sweater, button up, and quarter length shirt just in different colors. You know that vine where the teacher walks into the room wearing the same shirt in different colors, saying the same ‘hello’ for like a million days. Noah’s coworkers remake that with him, because that’s exactly what he does. 

He’s a bit of a homebody, and loves routine. For me, massive plus, I love that. But for someone who wants to party regularly or be spontaneous, I can see constantly changing plans and going out with people being really draining to Noah. He has a small group of close friends, so he’d struggle to remember MC’s friends' names if she has more than five. Don’t get me wrong, Noah will take MC to galleries and dates at least three times a month, but it has to be discussed and scheduled in advance. 

Pros

Honestly, what isn’t a pro about him? Noah is a steadfast, thoughtful, and kind person. His politics are about taking care of people, providing them dignity and respect, and building community. He loves his family and is incredibly patient. He’s incredibly smart but not at all classist or condescending about it. I know this is supposed to be about how the islanders affect the person they’re dating, but oh my god he’s such a good person I love him. Let’s just say the pro for this is his positive aura. 

He’s really good at group dynamics and listening, so he goes out of his way to make everyone feel heard and valued. If someone says something and no one acknowledges it, he’ll specifically engage with them so they’re not left hanging. If someone’s trying to get a word in but can’t, he’ll get everyone’s attention then say ‘so and so had an idea’. He’s not one to boisterously laugh in group settings, but he always makes eye contact and smiles if you make a joke that flops or say something he agrees with. If people are teasing about something, he picks up if it’s gone too far really easily and will gracefully change the subject/tell them to knock it off. 

He’s super conscientious about respecting boundaries and ensuring the people around him are taking care of himself. If MC and him are long distance and texting after 10pm, he’ll be like “I love you, but we’ve both got to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. He’ll always check and make sure people have eaten when meeting up with them, and if they haven’t he’ll insist they get food from somewhere. 100% gives you his jacket, brings you water bottles, in general just wants you to take care of yourself. 

Above all else, Noah just always ensures the people around him feel safe. The last thing he’d want to do is make people uncomfortable, so safe driving, safe spaces, safe sex are all musts. He’s really good in crisis situations because he can calm people down and encourage them to think critically.  

Building off of that, he’s really aware of how much of the housework is being done by who and always tries to ensure he’s doing his part. I bet that was a big thing he ripped on Rahim for- Rahim expects his woman to clean up after him and do the bulk of the domestic work, and Noah knows that’s bullshit. I think Noah likes cleaning, anyways, and will usually take laundry/disinfecting bathrooms/cleaning dishes over cooking or running errands. But the mental load of keeping track of recipes/groceries that need replenishing and keeping up with kids needs, he’s aware of the imbalance and does his part. Obvious plus, because it sounds fucking exhausting to date a man. He fucking hates vaccuming though, and will splurge on a roomba. 

He has a dry sense of humor that’s very based in puns and hyperbole. Sometimes it’s hard to know when he’s joking or not, but he never makes you feel bad for missing a joke or dwells on something for too long. He absolutely subscribes to the Mcelroys’ No Bummers rule, there are some things you don’t joke about and he’s happy to shut down inappropriate comments or ‘jokes’. He definitely prefers physical gaffs and dumb ways of saying things, so his favorite comedians are John Mulaney and Chris Fleming. While humor isn’t an important part of how he relates to other people, Noah enjoys being around funny people and won’t shut down their energy like Rahim, Marisol, or Hope. 

This is just me projecting again but Noah is generoussss. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money at the library, he still has a ‘mutual aid’ budget each month (and goes over it often). He’s the first one to give money to panhandlers, donate to gofundmes, and give friends/family personal loans. That definitely gets him into sticky situations sometimes, because he has a hard time saying no and can get taken advantage of, but ultimately I think it’s a pro because he’ll never forget where he came from and always prioritize helping other people. 

He has a really pretty, deep singing voice and this is a pro to me because fuck I meltttttt.

The shit he says to his partner or spouse? THE most romantic thing in the world. You think Mr. “you’re made of stardust” doesn’t shower his lover with the most meaningful lines at random times? You think he’s not quoting sappho and jane austen when he’s at a loss for words? You think he’s NOT going to turn over in bed on a lazy Saturday and say ‘this is the most perfect my life will ever be’? It’s not even prompted either, yes he’ll compliment Bobby or MC when they get all dressed up for date night, but more often he’ll profess his adoration in the middle of dinner, then take another forkful of food. 

Fantastic with kids, and this is a huge pro because people who can work with kids and be patient/positive with them make me so fuckim soft. But if/when (hopefully when because if MC didn’t want kids I don’t think it’d last) they had kids, Noah is happy to be on bottle duty, wake up early to the baby, and generally be a really involved parent. He’ll take a big chunk of paternity leave, and generally be there as much as humanly possible. Even when they have multiple little tyrants running around, he always makes time to be alone with MC and make sure she’s not taking on too much.

He’s basically a lesbian, which is definitely a reason I love him so much. Hear me out- loves milfs, loves 80s music, communicates affection through meaningful glances and playing with hair but will die before explicitly saying any of it, crushes on his best friend for the longest time but never makes the first move, puts way too much emotional meaning and personal metaphors into objects and then presents them as gifts, is into fandoms and actively collects pop figures, is attracted to assertive/powerful women, wears beige skinny jeans, wears VESTS….. That’s a lesbian. He’s a bisexual man, but he’s also an honorary lesbian.

A really good confidant. Noah’s an amazing listener and never judges people harshly- his life philosophy is as long as you’re not hurting anymore or yourself, everything else is details. So you can definitely tell him secrets and confess regrets to him and he’ll listen with those soft eyes and gentle nods. Talking to him about mistakes always feels like unburdening yourself. And he’d never tell your secret to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you cheat on him, lie to him, or die, he’s never going to tell anyone your secrets. 

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid 193

193 When Lance fell asleep, their roles had reversed. Keith calling Shiro to check in, after overhearing how they hadn’t really talked to anyone. The conversation with his brother wasn’t that long due to him not wanting to leave Lance. Knowing Krolia, whatever advice she’d given him was probably shit, though, as Lance had said, his mother was probably the closest person he could turn to advice for this. Coran may have had a pretty interesting past, but as far as Keith knew, he’d never been on the end of being pregnant. Pidge... wasn’t exactly maternal, and Allura... was Allura. She’d make a good mother... in her own way. Maybe this trip would have been better if they’d invited the others? Not so much Rieva and Matt, but Pidge and Hunk. “Keith?”Hearing Lance call his name, he forced himself out the bathroom. It was now closer to dusk than to dawn. Lance had needed time to cry out his frustrations“Hey, beautiful. How are you feeling?”“Better... thirsty... and sorry”Sorry because they hadn’t been to see his dad yet... Keith was slightly annoyed by that fact, but not mad. Lance hadn’t asked for his ego to start being a pain in the arse, and with all the stress he’d been putting himself under, he really needed the rest“Do you want some blood?”“We didn’t do my injection”Fuck. He hadn’t thought of that“Do you want to go the bathroom, and I’ll get it organised?”“Okay” It felt like nothing now to draw a bit of blood for Lance’s injections. The fear of the curse had lessened. Lance would have never tried to feed off Matt or Rieva, even in a desperate situation. But whether it be luck, or Lance’s own curse, it seemed to kill the werewolf curse before it could turn their twins. Maybe Lance had a point about some of their more careless activities? They shouldn’t be able to stand being in the same room, they both shared moments with their egos that really hurt, but he hadn’t been thinking of his own safety since turning. Just the safety of everyone they called family. Coming back from the bathroom, Lance sat beside him on their bed. Resting his against Keith’s shoulder, he sighed softly “Okay... inject away”The injection always only took a moment. In, inject, out, then Lance would rub at the healing mark. His boyfriend sighing again, overthinking things“You needed to let it out”“I know. I feel like I’ve brought the whole mood down and I hate it. You must be starving”Yep. He was. His metabolism was something crazy. The amount of food he consumed was frankly scary“I’m okay. Here, have some blood and we can think about getting something to eat”“I thought I had this planned. You know? We’d have breakfast, than go see your dad. Clean his grave up. Talk to him... A mental breakdown wasn’t scheduled”“Are they ever? Did mum help?”“She’s no Mami when it comes to advice. She said to chuck my fear out the window”Keith snorted“Right. Because it’s totally that easy. Was she okay?” They didn’t know if she was coming or not. Not with her work schedule. Keith kind of hoped she would, yet she’d made indications of it. Like, would he even recognise his father’s grave? And what did he say? “Yeah. She was her usual self. I called her for advice, but I know she was disappointed it wasn’t you”“Nah. She loves you. I think she even likes you better than me”“She’s your mum. She loves you. She’s pretty worried how this is affecting you. I could tell”“I’m okay... kind of. I’m getting there. Umm... Nothing time with my beautiful boyfriend won’t fix” Lance groaned at him“Babe, you don’t have to try so hard. It’s okay. I’m hardly beautiful... I’m like... the very definition of a wreck right now”“You’ll be okay. Here, wrist or um... neck?”“Wrist... sorry... it’s just easier in this position”“Don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry”He’d noticed something. Lance only liked to feed on his neck when they were making out or in the heat of things. His fingers when Lance was trying to be quite mid do“I am. I love you so much. So so much. I neglected your safety... and you’re still being... so good to me”“Idiot. I love you. Your hunger won’t last forever. I should have gotten some blood into while you slept... it’s bad to let your... um... levels drop”“I’ll be okay. They’re still okay... I think one of them tried to break my rib when I was in the bathroom” Keith loved hearing the twins were moving. Even when it was uncomfortable for Lance, he felt like he was hearing cute stories he wouldn’t be able to forget. He didn’t think he had the patience to be pregnant... which only made him prouder of strength Lance showed“They take after you. All silent and deadly”“Babe, I’m not a fart”Keith hadn’t thought of that, chuckling as he shook his head“I know. You smell awful in a good way. Not like my lactose farts”“Eh. They’re part of you. A couple of wads of tissue up my nose and you’d never tell”“I’ll remember that for next time. Here, eat something. Don’t be afraid if you need a little more” That was something else Keith noticed. Lance took care with the amount of blood he took from him, but the volume seemed like it would be a lot for a human. Very rarely he felt light headed, questioning if he’d be conscious if he was still human. He’d never tell Lance. He’d freak out immediately, plus fluids and a good meal had him back in shape in no time. Lance moaned as he bit into Keith’s wrist, reminding him he’d have to make more of an effort. Maybe it’d be for the best if he ran an IV line for Lance tonight, just to get his hunger knocked on the head completely. Pulling off, Lance lapped at the trails of bloodied spit left on Keith’s arm. The wounds starting to heal instantly“Better?”Catching a few small beads pushed out by the healing wound, Lance hummed “Mmm... I know this isn’t comfortable for you”It shouldn’t have been hot, but it was. It stroked his pride to provide for their boyfriend the one thing he needed above all else“I’m fine, babe. As long as you’ve had enough”“Yeah... I’m good. I’m still sorry. I think I’ve been taking more and more of late”“Nah, it’s fine. But I was thinking we should probably set you up with an IV later, seeing how little you ate today. You need to keep your fluids up”“But keeping my fluids out means I have to pee”Whining at him, Lance was too cute“I love you and your walnut sized bladder anyway”“I think it’s more like a grape at this stage. I’m sorry my ego chuckled a wobbly... and that we spent most of today in bed”“There’s nothing more that I love, than spending the day in bed with you”“Pervert. I’m serious though. I don’t want to be scared like that. I want to see where you grew up. I want to know everything about you. All of it”“You might not like all of it”“I don’t know. I think we both know that I’m like crazy stupid in love with you and all those little things that drive me crazy only make me love you more” Keith groaned softly. He’d become weak to Lance. Last real story he had left to share with his boyfriend was the night Shiro saved his arse. Lance knew most of it. Keith couldn’t remember what he’d told him, nor was he sure why he’d never told him all of it. Being on the streets had taken a toll, and the thought of a warm bed and decent shower left him going with people he already knew were no good for him. They’d offered him a good time when he’d been so completely done with fighting to be alive“Alright. How about we go get dinner and figure things out from there”“Mmmm... sounds good to me. Let me change, then we’ll go”“I probably need to freshen up too”“I hate to say it but we both kind of stink” From sweat. Under the blankets left them both sweating in their sleeps. Lance smelt deader than ever, with Keith not far off. Personally he didn’t mind stinking of Lance, but Lance felt like he needed to do more to protect Keith with things like being careful with his scent“Want to take first shower while I look for somewhere good to eat?”“Sounds like a plan... I... don’t know if I’ll freak out again”���It’s okay. If you do, we can totally go. I know we’re here to see my dad, but your safety and comfort comes first. I don’t want you to think you have to hide things from me”“I know. I won’t take too long”“Don’t go rushing. The last thing we need is for you to slip. That sounded harsher than what I meant”Lance shook his head at him“It’s okay, we both know I’m a klutz. I’ll be careful. We’ve come this far. I’m not about to risk them”“I’m worried about you, too. I don’t want you being hurt”“I’ll be fine... Let me freshen up, then you can take me out for dinner” Lance kissed Keith’s wrist where he’d fed. Keith couldn’t believe the passage of time since meeting Lance had moved so fast. It must have been a year now, or very close to a year. This time last year, he’d have thought himself turned and cursed with a single bite. The Blades really did teach some total bullshit when he stopped to consider all of things he hadn’t thought of before. He’d been such a dumb arse. Luckily he had Lance to set him straight... or not so straight... though he wasn’t sure what he was as it was Lance he loved and not only his physical body. Realising how easily he could fall into an internal debate over all of that, he gave a shake of his head. Lance said he’d let him take him to dinner, so that’s what he was going to do. *Holding Keith’s hand, the freshness of the night felt nice against Lance’s skin. Keith either hadn’t bothered looking up somewhere else to eat, or he’d been trying to please Lance, resulting in dinner at the same restaurant they’d had breakfast at. This time Lance figured out what was wrong with the place. As they’d finished dinner, the waitress had come to collect to their plates, on her arm balanced by the nozzle was a bottle of orange scented surface spray. Being a public restaurant, smells of all sorts bombarded his senses from the moment they walked. With so many scents, he hadn’t consciously noticed the orange surface spray. The fact that Sendak still held such a hold over him left Lance unable to enjoy his meal. The atmosphere of the restaurant was good, Pidge would have loved the idea of sneakily signing them up for the weekend Karaoke competition, then abusing everyone heckling her over bad singing... He missed those days. He missed not being pregnant and not fearing his scent. Heck, he missed ghost hunting. He missed watching Pidge get super enthused as Hunk prayed for it all to be over. The restaurant was the kind of place he could see himself having a few quite drinks had the place been in Garrison. The kind of place that Sal’s had been to them before he’d had to hideaway his changing body. The Lord knew he was looking forward the day they could all go out again. He was going to order the biggest, greasiest, slimiest, cheesiest pizza in existence. Maybe even have Sal get some cigarette ash in there for that true diner flavour... “Want to take a walk?”No. Maybe... He wanted to go home to bed... but he’d spent the day in the hotel room. Staring past Keith, the stars twinkled over the town as if trying to say that nothing bad could ever happen here, which was a bold faced lie if ever there was one. Keith drew strength from the moon, and both of them had eye sight sharp enough to walk around in the dark safely enough... plus... it’d give them time to get the layout of the town down... His boyfriend seemed to be oblivious to internal wavering, Lance wondering if this was his way of easing into things he either wanted to tell, or easing into seeing his father... or even a chance to cover his arse when Shiro asked how much of the town they’d gone out and seen“Sure. There’s a park a few blocks down. I saw it on the town map”“You saw a town map?”“Did you really not look this place up at all? They have a similar lay out to Garrison, which makes sense in a way... they were both trade posts at some time, though I’ve got not idea what they could have pulled out of all the sand”“I didn’t even know that much. It’s like... all I remember is the shack... all of it feels like being on another planet”Lance slid his hand into Keith’s “It’s a good thing I’m here to keep you grounded. Don’t even think about packing your bags for another planet. You’re not leaving me behind”“I’m sure that if I ever got spirited away into space, you’d be right there with me”“Yep. Probably screaming my head off the whole time too”“I think I would be too. Let’s go, I’ll follow your lead”“Don’t you always?” Keith kissed his cheek. Lance blushing lightly as his boyfriend replied “yep”, followed by two more kisses on his cheek. Lance would follow Keith to the ends of the Earth, with Keith just as happy to follow him instead. Unless one of them made the decision, they’d be following each other around in circles for the rest of their lives... That didn’t actually sound too bad... Walking down to the park, the town had a nice vibe to it. Lance felt bad for whoever was in charge of cleaning the park’s rubbish bin after his dinner decided to make a reappearance before they’d reached the toilets towards the middle of the park. Cleaning up, and using the facilities, the pair of them settled themselves down on the swings. It’d been months since he’d been on a swing set, in Cuba, yet it had to be longer for Keith. Dragging his feet in the sand to make a heart, he supposed they looked like a couple of kids up to no good. He’d seen enough memes that he knew adults missed swing sets, and he knew he definitely counted in their ranks. Pushing off lightly, the chain creaked under his weight. A memory of Veronica coming to mind from back when having a baby brother that was a vampire was something cool. He’d wanted to go higher and higher, the pegs of the swing set shaking, so Luis and Marco held it down as he swung as high as he could get. He’d been sure if he’d gotten a little higher he could have looped the chain around the top, but Papi had lost it at the four of them“You seem happy”“Mmm. I like swings”Letting the swing slow naturally, Lance grinned at his boyfriend mischievously. They had the whole playground to themselves “What about you? What’s your favourite piece of playground equipment?” Keith hummed. He’d been making a mound between his shoes, trying to keep the sand from slipping back down “I hate the monkey bars”“Oh? What’d they ever do to you?”“A shit kid at one of the families threw a rock at me because I could pull myself up to sit on top of them. It hit me in the head and I fell off backwards”“Wow. That kid sounds like a wanker”Keith nodded, expression semi serious “They were. I got in trouble for falling off”“That’s kind of what kids do though. They play and climb... it’s what kids are supposed to do”Keith sighed, before shaking his head“It doesn’t matter now. I can’t even remember their face, let alone why they through the rock”“They were probably jealous because you’re so much cooler than them. I bet you were a totally rad kid. I wish I’d known you then” Lance didn’t think about what he’d said. He felt like kicking himself as Keith mumbled “Right. The fucked up orphan no body wanted was a “rad kid””“Hey. No. No. That is not on you. Not at all. Adults are supposed to be there and be the strong ones. Not kids. I sincerely wish I could lord over every single person who hurt you, how fucking amazing you are”Keith gave a scoff of disbelief. Lance saddened that his boyfriend’s anxiety had gotten to him this badly. Climbing off his swing, the vampire wrinkled his nose at the sand pouring into his shoes as he moved to stand behind Keith“What are you doing?”“I’m going to push you?” Wasn’t that obvious? He’d waddled his pregnant arse all the way behind Keith. The only logical conclusion was he was going to push him on the swing“You don’t have to”“Maybe I want to? Maybe I want to play in the park because there’s no one else around. No bad scents. No blood. No spirits. No yucky feelings other than the sand under my socks...”“It is a nice park”“Right? Now, hold on” Pushing Keith on the swing, Keith gradually loosened up, even starting to laugh as Lance backed off and watched“You can do it, babe!”“I’m totally going to jump off, you know that, right?”“It’s like an unwritten law of swinging, seeing how far you can jump”“I think I have an advantage...”“Doesn’t matter. I’m totally challenging you to a swing off once these two are born”“That’s not fair, you’ve got wings”Lance huffed. They had a mind of their own, much like the rest of his body “Which are mostly useless. I can’t even fly around as a bat”“That’s fine. Ready?”“Go for it!” Keith jumped a little too soon, half faceplanting in the sand. With the way he landed, Lance rushed to his side to find his boyfriend laughing“Are you okay?”“I fucked that up”Kicking Keith lightly in the side with the toe of his shoe, his boyfriend rolled over, smiling like an idiot. Lance’s heart had stopped with the way Keith landed, now the idiot was smiling so happy he felt all warm inside “You had me worried!”“I guess I’m not that great at sticking the landing”“You weren’t that great at jumping. You went before the swing was at the right height!”“You make it sound like you’re training me for the Olympics” Channeling the best sports commentator voice he could, Lance’s voice wobbled slightly as he tried not to laugh at how funny he was“You don’t get at a ten-point-zero for your landing. Zero style. Very simplistic. Could this spell the end for Keith Kogane’s budding career before he even goes professional?”Keith laughed. A proper unguarded laugh. Lance feeling the luckiest man in the world to hear it “I’m being serious!”“Uh huh. Sure you are. You know, the stars are really pretty. I feel like I can see them way better than before”“That’s because all your senses increased. Werewolves and vampires are kind of night creatures”“I still don’t know how to turn into a wolf. I don’t know if it counts”“It totally does... Now, are you getting up? Or should I pick you up in the morning?”Keith patted the sand next to him“You could come down here”“Or you could come up here... I’m too pregnant to deal with sand”“Fair point. We have the whole park to ourselves... I don’t think I’ve ever really... just... you know...” That Keith hadn’t played on a playground saddened Lance. Even as an adult, playgrounds were still fun. With no one around to watch them, there was no point being responsible adults“You know, there’s a slide over there... and a flying fox...”“Babe...”Keith tried to dismiss the idea, Lance using “boyfriend” which proved very effective. Damn Pidge. She’d gone and put that back into his head at her birthday party“Come on, it’ll be fun. I mean, I probably can’t use the spinner, not unless you want to scramble the twins, but the slide never gets old”“Fine, but if we get in trouble, you’re taking the blame”Lance shrugged. They weren’t violating any laws that he knew of. They weren’t intoxicated. Nor were they committing property damage or trespassing“The lawyer in me tells me it’s going to be okay”“I’ll remember that when I get my one phone-call”“You better. Though it would be a conflict of interest to represent you, so let’s not get in trouble?” The did indeed get into trouble. Keith got wedged in the kids slide, and Lance was too tall for the flying fox, so that was disappointing. They were still messing around when the lights of a cruiser flashed red and blue, the two of them called over by a police officer who looked unable to catch them, even if they had been human. Swallowing down his fear, Lance took Keith by the hand, walking him over to the officer when Keith kept telling him they should run. Getting closer, the man clearly didn’t expect two fully grown adults to be playing in the park so late at night. “Officer, how are you tonight?”Putting on an air of responsibility, Lance felt he’d be the more convincing adult of the pair of them“I had a call about teenagers mucking around in the park. Want to tell me about it?”Keith snorted with laughter, Lance stepping on his foot to shut him up“That was us, sir. I’m sorry if we created a disturbance. We’re on holiday, you know, before the twins come, and wanted to have a little fun. I had no idea we we’re causing a disturbance” Keith tried to muffle his laughter, Lance mentally rolling his eyes at his boyfriend who was clearly upsetting the police officer. Huffily, the man asked“So I’m not going to find any of that junky paraphernalia you young people are into these days?”“No, sir. I know we might look young, but I’m 46 and my boyfriend here is 28. No drugs, or alcohol, sir”The man looked them up and down, Lance waited for something along the lines of “I wouldn’t lie to a police officer, if I was you”. Instead the man sighed“Look. You can’t be playing in the park at midnight. You’re obviously not locals. You staying at the hotel?”“Yes, sir. My boyfriend is a photographer, we’re travelling to work on his portfolio. Sorry. We wanted to have a little fun with no one around”“I’ll have you save that sort of fun for a more appropriate environment. Get in the back, I’ll give you both a ride back”Lance immediately shook his head“We’re both able to walk back...”“That wasn’t an invitation. We get a lot of blow ins for this damn Easter festival the town insists on having. The last thing I need is the pair of you thinking your entitled to cause trouble. Get in” Lance felt like a scolded school child as he did as he was told, Keith sliding in beside him, though his boyfriend still thought they should run. Clipping their belts in obediently, Lance bit his bottom lip. Maybe they’d gotten carried away? He didn’t think they were being too loud. All they’d been doing was acting like idiots. They hadn’t damaged any property... plus Keith had gotten on the spinner, which had been hilarious given how much strength he could put into a spin. His boyfriend had gotten off with shaky legs, tripped, fell in the grass and burst out laughing. Lance knew he should stay quiet, but this was a golden chance“Excuse me, have you been an officer here very long?”The man met his eyes before pulling away from the park curb“Long enough” Damn. He wasn’t giving him anything“Do you happen to know anything about the fire that took place here about 20 years ago?”Keith’s heart started racing harder. Yeah. He should have been considerate about Keith’s feelings, but this was like the perfect chance“Oh, I know about that fire alright. One dead. 250,000 dollars worth of damages. I don’t know why you’re bringing that up, but you’re best dropping it. A lot of people were hurt by that incident. Damn candle left unattended. The place went up faster than a whore’s knickers drop”“If one wanted to know about the fire, is there a local registrar office?” The office pressed the breaks suddenly, instead of gently stopping at the stop sign“Look. I’m sure you’re nice... whatever you are. But what happened that day is no laughing matter. We lost one of our own that day. It’s an ugly scar on the history of this town and I won’t have the pair of you treating it like a joke”Whelp. He’d gone and made him angry“I mean absolutely no disrespect. It’s such a horrible thing to have happened. When you saw you lost one of your own, I assume you mean an officer?” Resuming driving, the man sighed at him as if he was stupid, their eyes meeting again in the rear view mirror “No. Not an officer. One of our local fire fighters. They tried to stop the blazing jumping house, when the second floor came down. Horrible tragedy. We lost a fine man that day”“Did you know him?”“Aye, we all did. Bit of a loner. Kept to himself, especially after his missus skipped town. Heeee... had a boy from memory. Hard worker though. That boy... he was tiny thing of a kid. Still, he gave everything he could to that boy. He ended up vanishing, just like his mother. Couldn’t tell ya where she went. Up and vanished as suddenly as she appeared here. No idea how the pair of them met, and before we knew it, she was up the duff, then gone a couple of years later. Couldn’t handle the stresses of being a parent, if you ask me anything about it”“And all of this is public record?”“Bits and pieces. Look. I won’t tell you again, losing Joe hurt a lot of people here. He was a good man. Kind of man you never really knew what was thinking. But when he saw his boy, he’d light up like a goddamn Christmas tree. Loved that kid, he did. He was real torn up when his woman shot through, but never blamed his boy. We often used to wonder what happened to that kid, ah, but I suppose it’s one of those things you’d never know” The officer was letting his accent show. Keith seemed on the edge of tears“Say we didn’t want to drop it, is there anyone from around there that we can talk to about it”The man fixed him with a glare“People move on. Dredging that up again is only going to cause pain. If I hear you two are stirring up trouble because your curious over something that is none of your business, I will escort you out of town meself” That mean there were indeed people out there who’d been around at the time of the fire and may remember Keith, and his father... and that the council office should have record that’d help them place the pieces of that day together. The last few minutes of the drive was in silence. The officer having to squidge himself out the door in order to open the back door of the cruiser to let them out. The man really didn’t know what to make of Lance, he got it. He looked like a woman and sounded like a man. Some people were so damn backwards that they couldn’t accept change. Lance still opting to be polite, on the off chance they crossed paths again “Thank you for the ride. We’re sorry we caused you trouble”“Don’t let it happen again. There’s laws about these kinds of things. Consider yourselves both lucky and warned”“Yes, sir. Thank you” As the police cruiser left, Keith collapsed against him, sniffling as tears rolled down his face. His boyfriend wrapping his arms around him with a little too much force“Babe?”“He... loved me”With his arms pinned, Lance could only raise his hand enough to pat Keith’s arm “Yeah, babe. He did. I’m sorry I didn’t ask if it was okay to ask, but the opportunity to know something more was right in front of us”“He... he still went back in... he...”“He loved you. He loved you, and I know I’m not him. I could never know what he was thinking, but I think all he wanted to do was stop the fire before more people were hurt”“He left me”“Not by choice. You heard that guy. He loved you. He adored you. And he was so proud to be your dad. You... you were loved. You are loved”“Can we go back to the room?”Lance’s heart was breaking for his boyfriend. Sure, they’d learned a little and tomorrow Lance wanted to hit up the council to dig up whatever he could on Keith’s father’s past, but right now...“I was thinking the same thing. I want to hold you”“Please?”“Always, babe. Always and forever” ReplyForward

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: The Return of an Old Enemy"

Chapter 9: The 'War' Room

It was approximately high noon, the Dionysian Games were at their peak, all was well for the residents of Delphi except for one. Dionysus was in his competitors tent near the game field, explaining to Hermes the whole situation. Dionysus had agreed to a challenge that had now put Delphi and Ariadne in a compromising situation, if Ares won the joust he would take everything from the land to sleeping with his beloved wife.

Dionysus was laying on a pile of pillows, deeply remorseful of his string of terrible decisions. "I can't believe I would put Ariadne in this situation I really am like dad!", he sobbed, "WHY the fuck did I even agree to this?!", he continued while crying into his pillow. Hermes sat next to him, patting his back trying to comfort him. He couldn't care too much about how it all happened but he had an idea on how he was going to help.

Hermes laid down on the pillows and let out a relaxed sigh, he already had the plan all mapped out. "Dionysus, you know very well even if Ares does win...I'm not letting him screw you and Ariadne. By the way....is he using his OWN horses for this?", he asked. Ares's chariot was pulled by a trio of horses that would be best described as literal Night Mares, these mystical fire breathing war horses are fast, aggressive and can pull a lot more than Ares's weight.

Dionysus turned, sniffling, "....I'm not sure why?", now he was curious as to what Hermes was planning, "why? What are you going to do?". He was desperate to find some way of winning. It would be devastating if Ariadne found out she was going to be a prize for Ares and lose her kingdom let alone have her husband lose a challenge he decided to enter.

Hermes gave a smirk, inspite of current events he always knew how to make time for anything. "Well, I remember correctly....his horses are pretty tough....if he is using his horses, I could let them out....replace them with some of the horses from here.....I mean...how does wine effect horses.... especially ones that....breath fire?", he asked with a sly grin. He leaped up, pacing back and forth. "We could.....get him drunk, throw him off his game...or...we can go a little more further.", he turned to Dionysus for some approval.

Dionysus was catching on with Hermes's plan. He stood up, "...yeah.....I see where you're going with this....yeah.....but how are we going to get the horses to drink the wine? I mean....you can't just lead a horse to water....also....what if an animal that BREATHES fire....wine is flammable you know...". The two were brainstorming, thinking of ways Ares could be sabotaged. Their brain power would get a boost in the form of someone outside. The two heard the familiar but eloquently frustrated voice of Apollo, demanding to see Dionysus. Dionysus rushes to the tent entrance and opens to see Apollo, talking to one of the satyrs guarding the tent. "Hey man how's it hanging?", Dionysus chimed.

Apollo turned around and the look on his face spoke a thousands that all could translate to "What the HELL did I tell you?!". He marched towards Dionysus, pushes him gently back into the tent to yell at him. "WHY IS THERE AN EVENT GOING ON?!?", he shouted, "I thought I told you to hold off on any parties or anything to make sure the people are safe from what's been going on!". He almost couldn't believe that Dionysus would go the point of risking the Delphians for the sake of having fun.

Dionysus slunked into himself like a turtle going into his shell. "W-well Apollo ol'pal...ugh....wow you are NOT going to believe what else....ugh...Ares is here too....aaaaaand I'm in trouble.....more specifically.... Ariadne is in trouble.", he tried to soften the news but even he knew it wasn't going to quell Apollo's mild fury.

Hermes stepped into help in his own way, "Yeah Dionysus bet his wife, Delphi itself and his patronship of Delphi to Ares if he lost.", successfully making the situation far worse. Apollo's usually fare glowingly pale face was slowly glowing a burning fiery orange with anger, it became hotter in the tent, melting any wax candles and drying any leaves from fruits inside. "Come on Apollo, are you really going to get mad inside of this highly flammable tent with your two favorite brothers in mine?", Hermes charmed Apollo. The hot glow dimmed back into the cooler pale tone he usually had, he knew no matter how angry he got it would be pointless to lose his temper.

Apollo took a deep sigh, sat down to further collect himself. ".....ok...now...what do you plan on doing then?", he asked. He could see both Dionysus and Hermes had a plan, and he knew he wasn't going to like it. "Oh good....it seems you both have something cooked up.", he begrudgingly assumed.

The two stood there looking at Apollo, Hermes walked to a table that had a bottle of wine. "Let's just say, Ares isn't going to drive his chariot straight if his HORSES have been drinking....oh..ugh....DID you see his horses?", he asked. Apollo nodded 'yes', so unfortunately, the plan of forcing Ares's horses to drink the wine would pose a challenge. "Ok, so....we will have to feed the horses something else....spiked fruit?", he suggested. The two looked at Hermes, both couldn't argue against the idea yet they found it to be a usable one.

Dionysus chimed in, "yeah I think I have some marinated apples somewhere. We could feed it to his horses if they don't drink the wine.", he left the tent to look for some at a food tent nearby, leaving the two brothers alone.

Apollo knew that Hermes wasn't here just to enjoy watching Dionysus's fake Olympic games, he had been watching what had been going on in Greece. "Hermes, now that we're alone. What have you seen as of late? Is what I've heard from Artemis true?", Apollo was referring to the wolf man that Hermes and Artemis had encountered. He had recently come in contact with Artemis, whom had come to him to ask about Zeus's whereabouts.

His mischievous demeanor calmed into a somber awareness. Hermes took a deep sigh, he got distracted with Dionysus's issue. He turned to Apollo, "yeah, it was pretty freaky...the thing didn't die on the first shot either. I haven't seen them appear during the day though. I think these creatures only come out of night.", he took off hat hat and scratched his head. "Dionysus was getting a lot of complaints....guess people here can't stand still for long....I can see why he caved in, he doesn't want to disappoint anyone....I can relate, buuuuut honestly the whole situation feels weird.". Hermes felt mildly uncomfortable about his encounter, he had been so use to seeing things die and stay dead, that it had never occurred to him that something could reanimate.

Apollo's stern face loosened up, "Well.....he always seems to listen to his mortal citizens more than me so I'm not sure why I always act surprised.", he relaxed a little but noticed Hermes a little bit worried, "Are you ok? Artemis did mention you didn't take too well to the.... creature.". He could see Hermes look like a someone who saw something he shouldn't.

"it's ok", Hermes replied, "....I just prefer dead things to be dead....that's all.". He turned to the shuffling tent wall and sees Dionysus come in with a jar of fruit pickled in wine. "Ah perfect Dio, I'll take the fruit and wine. Wait here and I'll handle the rest.", Hermes took the jar and an amphora of wine and jetted off, leaving Dionysus and Apollo in the tent.

Dionysus turned to Apollo, "sooooo........ugh....hehe, have you seen the games? Man the folks out there are having fun.", he tried to make it as if he wasn't caring about his dilemma but there was no point, "man I fucked up big time..... fucking Ares, the asshole.... should have asked for someone who wouldn't want to fuck Ariadne.....man I'm a terrible husband.", he slumped on to a pile of pillows. He was still worried about the joust, he was worried about losing Ariadne's trust in him, and above all he was worried if he resembled Zeus in the worst way possible. Dionysus let out a deep sigh, "guess I really am my dad's kid..."

Apollo could hear the hurt in Dionysus's voice, he got closer to him and placed his hand on his back. "Look, you messed up even for your standards.....but you're not a terrible husband, you two are young newlyweds, you've been married for a short amount time and mistakes happen.... don't be THAT hard on yourself. There's still time to fix things....does she know about the bet?", asked Apollo.

"No...she doesn't....and I don't want her to know about ANY of it. If I lose, I lose everything that's important to me....if I win...well...I have yet to see Ares be a good sport about losing....for all I know he'll tell her out of spite", Dionysus replied.

"Oh come now, Ares is a difficult person for sure and he's unbarable at times....but I doubt he will be that level of cruelty. Maybe he was just exaggerating...after all the man is the father of Fear and Terror himself, he would know a thing or two about making people fear him." Apollo reassured him. "Plus, I have no doubt Ariadne would forgive you. You've done quite a lot for her if you remember, she knows you love her and you'd end the world for her.", Apollo hoped his words would at least inspire Dionysus not to consider himself a failure of a husband. After all, he along with Hades, have seemed to have rather successful marriages and to compare one's marriage to Zeus's marriage is surly a blow to one's heart and soul let alone their ego.

Dionysus looked at Apollo and smiled, "....thanks....but I just don't want to mess up anyway.", he got up and took a quick peek outside to see how far into the games the people had gotten through. Unfortunately time wouldn't be on their side, it had seems the Delphians had gone through the whole games and have already started giving out makeshift medals. "GAH! THE GAMES ARE ALMOST DONE!", he loudly panicked, he ran towards the set of armor that he set aside so he can put on for the joust, "OH GODS IM FUCKED! Hermes better be done with what he was doing!", he quickly put on his armor.

"I'll go and distract Ares then, see if I can change his mind about the bet, good luck out there Dionysus.", Apollo quickly left Dionysus in the tent.

"Bye see you later.", Dionysus responded.

Elsewhere, Hermes was at a temporary stable where the horses for the joust. Hermes snuck into the stables in hopes no one noticed him. He looked around and could see Ares's three huge, scary looking chariot horses, he slowly tiptoed to them. The horses noticed his presence, these weren't friendly horses, these horses might as well have been the horses of straight from King Augeas's stable. Hermes took a bowl and pored the wine into it, he raised it to the opening of the stable up to the three horses. In a whispered voice, "...hey there buddies, you want something to take the edge off? Come on, it should smell irresistible.", Hermes was hoping the sweet smelling wine would attract their attention, one of the horses did I fact take a sip from the bowl. It drank the whole thing in a few sips, letting out a loud delighted whinny.

"Hehe, perfect.", Hermes poured another bowl to see if he could give more wine, the same horse drank the wine while the second horse became curious and took a few sips as well. Now all was left was to get the third horse hooked on the wine, but the third horse was different, this one was a stubborn mare that lead the trio while they pull the chariot. She wasn't going to fall for the wine as easily. Hermes took a quick peak at the mare, "c'moooooon, what gives?", he could see she was all the way in the corner, glaring at him while her brothers fought to take the last few sips. As Hermes poured the last of wine into the bowl, he went to take out a wine soaked pealed apple from the jar. He gently tossed to the mare, the other two horses could smell the wine on the apple and tried to go right for it, but the mare reared her head, snorting aggressively. The two other horses stopped, the mare sniffed the apple and took a small nibble.

It took a few seconds for the mare to understand why this apple was spicy, however, she seemed to have liked the spiked fruit and ate it in one bite. She clopped towards Hermes, intimidating him for more apples, he quickly obliged and held the jar to the mare. She shoved her muzzle into the jar, eating a few more bits of alcoholic fruit. Hermes wasn't satisfied yet, he left the jar with the mare and he quickly ran to get two more amphoras of wine. He quickly began to pore more wine for all three horses, the more the three sipped, the relaxed and tipsy they acted. The three swayed back and forth, bumping into each other, loudly snorting and whinnying.

Plan A, was a success. Hermes patted the three horses snouts, knowing damn well he would never have a chance to do this with Ares's horses ever again. "Ok, bye bye.", he darted off to see what Ares was doing, unfortunately, he was more focused than ever, he was now for some reason practicing using his sword on an innocent tree as if he was going to fight Dionysus to the death. "What the fuck is he doing, he isn't going to kill dionysus is he?", Hermes questioned to himself. He suddenly saw Apollo call out to Ares, wanting to have a conversation with him. "Ah oh, this is going to be good....or really bad.", Hermes hoped Apollo was going to help.

End of chpr 9

[notebook-13]

Shigaraki • Development

Backstory

(Note: Tenko was Shigaraki’s childhood name.)

First things first: Shigaraki’s backstory is probably meant as an allegory. The house his father built is a microcosm of society, his father Kotaro represents people with power, Tenko represents people without it, and the other family members are bystanders. The power imbalance and communal emphasis on harmony enables Kotaro to take out his baggage on Tenko while Tenko is required to repress his. Resistance, even if it’s minor, causes Tenko to be shunned and beggared, as Kotaro locks Tenko out of the house in the backyard, in the dark, unfed, without even a roof over his head.

Edit: @codenamesazanka​ has an excellent reading of this allegory!

Theirs is a household that prioritizes unity and a façade of happy domesticity over Tenko’s wellbeing. His mom and grandparents treat him gently, reject him kindly, and refuse to admit to him just how terribly Kotaro treats him. Though the three adults understand that Kotaro is the problem (they criticize him in private or cry out futile protests during an incident), they are unwilling to disrespect Kotaro to Tenko’s face. Doing so would mean facing their victim and owning up to their own culpability, too.

So, throughout Shigaraki’s backstory, Horikoshi intersperses black panels with increasing grains of white. This references Shigaraki’s “wound in his heart.”

The first black panel appears when Tenko is crying to his mom, Nao, about his dad; the second appears when he is similarly comforted by his grandparents.

After an episode with Kotaro, Nao hesitantly asks Tenko if he still wants to be a hero.

Nao: “Tenko…do you…still want to be a hero?” Tenko: “Yup. Because like, nobody wanted to play with Mikkun and Tomo. So I said, ‘Let’s play together!’ And we played heroes, and it was super fun. And then Mikkun said, ‘You should be All Might, Ten.’ And I was nice and played with them even though they don’t have any friends.”

It’s hard to follow Tenko’s five-year-old’s logic here, but the gist seems like Tenko wants to be a good person who makes people less lonely, and he thinks heroes do that. The implication, then, could be that Tenko is lonely, and his admiration for heroes compensates for what’s missing in his family (a hero).

What’s also significant is that Tenko noticed Mikkun and Tomo were suffering, and instead of ignoring it or playing along like everyone else, he did something about it. What he emphasizes isn’t, “we played heroes and fought bad guys, it was really cool”; he emphasizes that he was kind, that he helped kids who were lonely. This isn’t a kid who wants to be a hero because heroes are strong.

Also worth noting that in bnha, p much every kid wants to be a hero. By forbidding Tenko from even playing, Kotaro draws a line between Tenko and his classmates: Tenko is not one of them. He’s not allowed to dream he’ll be a hero like everyone else. In a society overflowing with heroes (and with adulation of heroes), Tenko can’t be one of them nor admire them.

^^ the first “wound” panel is the black middle one

When Nao tells Tenko that “it’s hard to be a hero,” especially right after hesitantly asking him if he still wanted to be one, Tenko understands that she’s discouraging him—similar to how Inko apologized to little Deku when he asked her if he could become a hero without a quirk.

When Nao tells Tenko it’s difficult, she’s essentially repeating what Kotaro says (“being a hero will cause him nothing but trouble”). By siding with Kotaro, she tells Tenko that he can’t become who he wants to be. He must conform to authority and let Kotaro determine his life. What he wants and feels don’t matter. Kotaro is right.

The wound begins to open.

Similarly, his grandparents offer him empty comfort because they, too, believe in presenting a unified front. The kids aren’t allowed to be aware that there’s conflict between the grown-ups: rules are rules, instructions from your seniors are absolute, social harmony (and by extension, social hierarchy) has to be maintained. Tenko himself is the troublesome one—he’s the one who needs to be comforted, who keeps breaking rules, who can’t pretend everything is okay the same way everyone else can.

The wound opens further.

The initial wound and its exacerbation are both brought on by his mom and grandparents, not by Kotaro directly. Why? Because it’s the permissiveness of the adults that socializes Tenko in how to react to Kotaro. Kotaro’s abuse is too much for a five-year-old to process, so he trusts the other grown-ups in his life to understand it and tell him how to feel about it/what to do about it.

What they tell Tenko, implicitly, is that his pain doesn’t matter enough to do anything about, and it’s his fault it exists. Underneath, he recognizes this and resents them for it. They might not actively participate in Kotaro’s abuse, but they actively support him by trying to wipe away the consequences without any accountability for the problems. They shift blame to other people (Kotaro, Tenko) without owning up to their own role in the proceedings, so that they can pretend life is good and think of themselves as good people who don’t make trouble.

Tenko has a related “wound” associated directly with Kotaro.

((When Kotaro approaches Tenko to begin smacking him…))

The “itch.”

Tenko is five years old, and kids that young aren’t known for their emotional intelligence. This is his little-kid way of trying to describe his negative emotions: agitation, anguish, panic, frustration, aggression, resentment, desperation, (thwarted) hope, and so on.

Tenko scratches himself frantically because he doesn’t know how else to react to the things he’s feeling, and he doesn’t know how else to react because nobody is trying to help him sort through them. He’s only been told to suppress them. Plus, in adulthood, Shigaraki scratches himself when he’s stressed about something, so it makes sense for this ~allergy~ to be the origin.

I dunno why Tenko fixates on his face—his eyes, specifically…maybe out of shame? maybe because his face and eyes are what express his uncomfortable feelings, and/or because his eyes are what he uses to fruitlessly beg for help? or maybe the eyes out of a desire for blindness, to not see what’s in front of him the way everybody else pretends not to see?

(The irony, ofc, is that Kotaro is accusing Tenko of wanting to hurt their family, when in fact Kotaro is the one hurting their family.

Judging by how Nao and her parents approach Kotaro after the fact and tell him that they will leave if he hits the children again, I don’t think it was common for Kotaro to smack Tenko like this.

Also, this is the first time Tenko is shown scratching his neck: when his thoughts are crying out, help me!)

Tenko isn’t begging mercy from Kotaro, which says leagues about their relationship. Instead, he’s begging for interference from the rest of the family, for someone to stand up for him, to challenge the public humiliation Tenko regularly endures as Kotaro’s scapegoat. Nobody does, of course, like always.

It takes a few hours, locked out of the house, for the trauma to set in.

The wound gets worse…but this time it’s different.

For one, it’s accompanied by dialogue, not narration, and “everyone” is centered right in the core of his rage. The second (iffier) difference is that this time the wound and the itch coincide. In the previous situations, he’s either scratching himself or the wound is deepening. This is the first time Horikoshi depicts the two occurring simultaneously, and it’s this moment that his quirk fully awakens.

Tenko kills his dog and begins to have a panic attack. His emotions are choking him; the only way he can ask for help is to reach out to his sister, finally, in the way he didn’t dare to reach out while Kotaro was smacking him.

I’ve seen people suggest his voice fails as a side-effect of his quirk, but I think it’s trauma-related, not physical. For one, he still describes it as an “itch,” and for two, once he processes his trauma and decides that killing his family wasn’t a tragedy, Shigaraki’s characteristic squiggly speech bubbles are replaced by average speech bubbles.

This is consistent, so, his vocal problem was solved emotionally. So maybe his quirk was reacting to his emotions and placing pressure on his vocal chords? But idk, seems to me it was a psychosomatic problem.

Either way, he kills his sister as she runs away, and her scream attracts his mom and grandparents.

Then comes the fourth panel.

(For context, the narration refers to how his negative feelings towards his mom and grandparents accumulated.)

The whiteness is gushing forth, and it surges when Tenko sees his mom staring at him with terror, unable to summon a reassuring smile or any words of comfort for him.

The noises catch Kotaro’s attention. He pokes his head into the hall and walks through the empty house until he spots the open door to the backyard.

(Tenko has now transitioned to mainly scratching his neck instead of his face.)

Tenko reaches out to someone for the final time, and his (deadly) hand is rejected—smashed away, really.

Kotaro’s life is in danger, he’s shocked by the deaths of his family, he panics, and he reacts cruelly.

The tipping point is what happens afterwards.

Kotaro is surprised and horrified by what he’s done. But, like always, he stubbornly refuses to acknowledge to Tenko his wrongdoing. Instead, he reacts by doubling down and asserting his authority.

“Mommy, why does Father say no all the time? Does he hate me?!”

I’m not sure quite what Kotaro is doing here. At first I thought he was smacking Tenko, the way he did earlier that day, but that blob in the lower right panel is part of the background, not his hand in motion. So instead, it looks like Kotaro is holding out his hand in a “stop, stand back, stay away from me” gesture, or maybe to literally push Tenko away. (Have to wait on the anime, I guess.)

Regardless, Kotaro tells Tenko “no” for the last time. The immediate blame, the dearth of kindness or sympathy, the reaching out to him—someone’s trying to save him!—only to deny him…it evokes their history. Tenko is already in the midst of a meltdown, and now he snaps.

I hate bringing up real-world examples when thinking about stuff like bnha, so I hope this will be the only time I ever do it, but I’m powerfully reminded of a gun violence incident in Mississippi where a nine-year-old kid and his thirteen-year-old sister got into an argument over a video game controller, and the boy retrieved their parents’ gun from another room and shot her.

It’s ludicrous to think he had any meaningful concept of what he was doing, and, regardless of how Shigaraki interprets his past, the same holds for Tenko. Just because Tenko had a good “reason” to want Kotaro dead doesn’t imply he had a meaningful grasp of what he was doing. He killed Kotaro because he was a kid with access to a deadly weapon, and there’s a reason kids aren’t trusted with those.

But it is meaningful that Shigaraki struggles to make the distinction between aggression and murderous intent. AfO deliberately trains Shigaraki to adopt this warped mindset by telling him that his bad feelings, his “itch,” are equivalent to bloodlust. Realistically, there’re plenty of ways to relieve negative emotion, but Shigaraki has been taught exactly one outlet: destruction. So, he doesn’t realize that his murderousness is a product of nurture, not nature. (Also, lol, “murderousness” is a real word!)

Anyways, for the first time, Tenko experiences catharsis for the negative emotions that have built up his whole life. A fluke of fate enabled him to subvert the established power dynamic, and the destruction of the house encapsulates the collapse of their family’s hierarchy. He still doesn’t understand what he’s done.

By the next morning, it’s begun to sink in. He ran away from the house and then wanders the streets, too consumed by guilt to speak, and he’s ignored by everyone. When someone finally pays attention and seems willing to help him…

He smiles, happy that someone is finally going to help him. But his dirty, creepy smile scares the old lady off.

(reminds me of his early design.)

To him, it’s like people can see what he’s done, and that’s why nobody will help him or even acknowledge him. Notice the lower left corner: the blackness and white grains, spilling over from his wound.

The itch returns, and the scratching and the wound overlap again. It’s hard to say whether the wound is reacting to the old lady in general, or if it’s tied to the narration line “being punished.”

It occurs when Tenko simultaneously wants to be saved but also thinks he doesn’t deserve it, that everyone can see how bad he is and knows he doesn’t deserve help.

What did Shigaraki learn from this?

Social harmony is forged by repressing conflict, not by resolving it. This happens at his expense, purposefully.

“This is the house my father built.” Creation, construction, building, making walls, making rules, making—these are bad, and they’re performed by the people with authority and power. These things happen for other people, not for his sake.

He’s not important enough to be helped / not worthy of it, and he resents that.

Origin of his self-loathing.

Other notes:

The “itch” is something he can find temporary catharsis for (through violence), and Shigaraki thinks the itch might have gone away if someone had just helped him. The “wound” is not something that ever alleviates or that he suggests could have gone away.

The wound’s origin is from the complicity of his family to Kotaro, not from Kotaro himself.

It’s interesting that his dream to destroy society is a reenactment of his destruction of his family/house, even though killing “everyone” the first time devastated him.

He switched from mostly scratching his face to mostly scratching his throat.

Both these are sites where emotion is expressed.

Hands are another site of expression, and he later develops his fascination with his family’s hands and uses his own hands for destruction.

Activating decay seems to have hugely worsened the scarring around his eyes. He says that he thought the “itch” had gone away, so it’s unlikely he was scratching himself overnight…so I think his quirk had the side-effect of exacerbating his scars? If decay made the skin around his eyes hurt, that could relate to why he switched to mostly scratching his throat.

Even as a kid, Tenko had a certain amount of pride/dignity, enough to blame others for mistreating him instead of blaming purely himself.

Tenko admired heroes partly because his family lacked one, but when he discovers Nana…? Now someone inside the family (inside the house) was a hero, so the rules were different than what he thought?

Upbringing by AfO

When Tenko killed “everyone,” that included himself. All that’s left of him afterwards is an empty shell. He doesn’t even seem to remember what he’s done.

But AfO is willing to extend a hand and touch Tenko.

He’s willing to acknowledge Tenko’s pain, something nobody else was or is, at the moment in his life when Tenko feels he least deserves sympathy.

Now, obviously it’s hella suspicious that AfO already knows Tenko’s name, knows what he’s done, and procures his family’s hands, but Shigaraki doesn’t seem to question it. Tenko’s arms dangle there, limp, as AfO embraces him and tears stream down his face. And, ofc, AfO echoes All Might’s motto.

AfO takes Tenko in and tells him he’ll be his master from now on. Then…

Tenko viscerally remembers what he’s done, and his immediate reaction is to scratch himself, puke, and then seize the severed hands, gathering them up and cradling them close to him. It’s probably then that Tenko discovers the feeling that Shigaraki describes—of feeling violently ill but somehow at peace, too. (“When a person’s life starts spiraling, what’s the one thing they want? Comfort.”) There’s way too much to unpack here, so, moving on.

The “purpose” that AfO alludes to is the destruction of society/the status quo.

While Tenko is huddled on the ground, cradling the hands, AfO continues.

AfO’s the first person willing to talk to him about his itch as emotional instead of as an allergy. He tells Tenko point-blank that he cannot control his impulses and that his release must take the form of destruction.

This moment baffles me. AfO openly admits that Tenko’s feelings will fade…if left be. As far as we see, he doesn’t explain to Tenko why it’s important that those feelings never fade, why emptying himself of his pain is a bad thing. But even after being told time would heal him, Tenko keeps the hands close to him—and I don’t think he was just doing what AfO wanted.

This panel is also interesting because it definitely makes it look like Tenko’s wound is glowing, like it’s a light in the dark. Also, AfO’s dialogue nearly obscures the early panel of the wound…hm.

Regardless, AfO implies that those feelings are the most important thing Tenko has, and he should keep them close. It’s not specified if AfO told him to wear his family.

Later, Tenko’s wandering on the streets (his hands aren’t with him) when he encounters a duo of thugs, who beat and mock him. At first, Tenko lurches to fight back, but…

I think these are more “wound” panels: the blackness with white grains. He backs down, even though his rage doesn’t dissipate.

When he returns home, AfO encourages him to embrace his feelings instead of holding them back. Tenko literally writhes on the floor from the force of his “itch,” going all out as he wallows in his overwhelming feelings.

AfO tells Tenko that ethics were invented in order to suppress people and that Tenko’s emotions are more important than anything else. Tenko responds by reiterating what AfO told him: he wants to destroy those thugs, and he can’t control this urge to destroy. He goes as far as to disintegrate one of Kotaro’s hands, even though not too long ago he clung onto it.

But, later, he wears his family’s hands for the first time.

Wearing them clearly affects Tenko adversely—he’s struggling to breathe properly, and he’s entirely slumped over. But these hands, and these feelings, are the only things he has left, the only things he knows, and he won’t leave them behind.

He encounters the same duo of thugs and kills them.

His wound again. Formless, but with a sense of shifting and movement. Undiminished, even if the itch is alleviated. Or, maybe this panel is supposed to indicate a deterioration, like the wound gets even worse after the murders?

Observing the event, Ujiko remarks that he’d thought Tenko had lost his memories. I think he’s commenting on how Tenko is wearing the hands despite not remembering who they’re from? 

AfO comments…

Tenko restrains quirk subconsciously, limiting its disintegration to just what he’s directly touching, which makes it seem like he’s afraid of his quirk and feels guilt/self-loathing for it. He’s aware that his quirk is connected to the things he feels, maybe even blames his quirk in some way for making him feel this way.

It’s ironic that Tenko feels free while he’s being throttled and restrained by the hands of his relatives.

lol AfO gives away the game a bit, here. He tells Tenko to do whatever he wants and not hold back, and then praises Tenko for “holding back” his tears. He just wants Tenko to have no way to vent his feelings except violence. Also, the fact that Tenko is “holding back” his quirk…hmm.

Again, too much here to unpack rn, so, moving on.

AfO gives Tenko the hands of the thugs he killed, plus one hand of unknown origin to replace the hand of Kotaro’s that Tenko destroyed. Shigaraki describes the gift as soothing to his battered body, and he felt reborn. AfO gives him the name Shigaraki Tomura ad implicitly positions himself as Shigaraki’s dad by telling Shigaraki that “Shigaraki” is his surname.

What did Shigaraki learn from this?

Morals are illusionary, merely a tool used to suppress people without power in order to make things easier for people who do have power.

His “itch” means bloodlust, and he can’t control it.

He should just do what he wants (except crying, apparently), or else he’ll just suffer indefinitely.

Rejection of a society he had no hand in making and no place to belong in.

Other notes:

Even without remembering his aggression towards Kotaro, it’s Kotaro’s hand he shows the biggest fixation on.

Shigaraki has three “ailments”: the itch (the agitation he feels from bad things), the wound (the “rage” and “frustration” he feels from bystander apathy), and the nausea he feels when he wears the hands (self-loathing?).

Or maybe the nausea is part of the wound?

More on the wound?

I wonder when Horikoshi decided on how to visualize Shigaraki’s pain, and if he uses it as a pattern in bnha.

I’ve noticed a few panels that remind me of Shigaraki’s wound, especially that amorphous panel after he kills those thugs, but it’s hard to tell if the backgrounds are just atmospheric or if there is actually an attempt to connect these moments thematically.

Here are a few that I noticed.

I’m going to keep an eye out ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edit: here’s another one. This is the most definite example so far: it occurs in ch250, post-Shigaraki’s flashbacks, and the distinct circle doesn’t produce an atmosphere the way the previous ^^ panels do. 

^^ it’s worth mentioning that this appears during Fuyumi’s narration, detailing how Natsuo is the only one in the family who can’t move forward, ie, he’s experiencing social pressure to conform and validate Endeavor similar to how Tenko felt pressure to conform to Kotaro’s authority.

And then this next one, I’m pretty unsure about, but I’ll include it in case:

[chvndlcr]

hey everyone, i’m elle! i’m in the est timezone. i’m nonbinary and i use she/her pronouns. i’m very bad at doing short intro posts but i’m gonna try to keep these short and sweet. so now let’s talk about my boy chan. he is my oldest oc - i've been writing him since 2014. 

[ alex fitzalan, cis man, 22, he/him ] did you see who just walked in? it was that SENIOR, the ╳ + ASSIDUOUS AND  - GUARDED ╳  one? you know, the one who lives OFF CAMPUS, CHANDLER LINWOOD! i heard they are majoring in BUSINESS and they can’t wait to get out of here to FIGURE OUT WHAT HE WANTS TO DO.  crap! stop staring, here they come! 

name. james chandler linwood // when chandler was five, he found out about middle names at school. after asking his dad what his was, he immediately decided that chandler was a way cooler name than james, and has gone by his middle name ever since. one of his pet peeves is people referring to him as james.  hometown. wayzata, mn // suburb of minneapolis major. business // chandler has no clue what he wants to do with his life. he’s been doing some photography gigs on the side since his freshman year of college, so he decided it wouldn’t hurt to get a degree in business so he could run his own shit better. he knows he doesn’t want to do photography as a career long-term, though. birthday. february 11th, 1999 // twenty two years old.  gender. cis man orientation. biromantic asexual // chan is completely out as ‘bi’. most people assume that means he’s bisexual and he doesn’t correct that idea. he’s a lot quieter about being asexual. a lot of people don’t understand what it is, and ask invasive questions, and he’s a naturally private person who wants to avoid all of that entirely.  hobbies. photography, cooking, video games phobias. acrophobia // fear of heights allergy. bee venom

[ BIO ] [tw. abuse/neglect, alcoholism, drug addiction, self harm, depression]

chandler is the only child of john and susan linwood. susan is a doctor while john works for an advertising company. susan has always been a bit ‘out there’, with no brain-to-mouth filter and some very problematic viewpoints and opinions. john started drinking when chan was eight. actually, he relapsed into drinking again, but chandler doesn’t know he had an alcohol problem before that. chandler knew his parents loved him; one of their better parenting traits was making sure he didn’t forget that. but they weren’t mentally present enough to be very good parents. gradually his dad became angry and violent while he was drinking and that, coupled with chandler’s rebellious teenage years, made the linwood home a less and less safe place for chandler.

in high school, he was known for hanging out with the “wrong crowd”. he partied a lot, trying to mentally escape from his home life and normal teen angst stuff. he often mouthed off to teachers and got in trouble on a regular basis. but he also worked really hard in school, taking mostly AP classes while managing As and Bs. not many people knew what to make of that, and acted like he was just a troublemaker that was naturally gifted. but in reality he was juggling challenging school work, a busy social life, and doing all of the cooking and cleaning at home. 

another thing chan had a reputation for was quickly rotating through girlfriends (and boyfriends, but there weren’t anywhere near as many guys to date at his suburban high school). but it wasn’t the situation everyone thought it was. as relationships became more physically intimate, he became more uncomfortable. as soon as sex was suggested, he would end the relationship. in hindsight, this wasn’t the best way to approach dating. but at the time, he had no idea asexuality was a thing and that he didn’t owe anyone sex just because they were in a relationship.

his longest high school relationship was madison. they had mutual friends and started hanging out. madison had a fairly obvious drug problem, but that didn’t bother chandler. a part of him was more attracted to her because of it, although he’d never admit that to anyone. plus she was asexual. this not only was how he found out that was a sexual orientation, but it also took a lot of anxiety out of the idea of dating and chandler fell hard. 

madison easily grew jealous. she was biphobic, hated sharing chandler with anyone, and was often bossy and controlling. yet chandler noticed none of the red flags until it was too late. by the time he started trying to untangle himself from her, he couldn’t. he was scared what she would do to herself if he ended things, and as she became physically violent he was scared of what she would do to him as well. since he couldn’t get out of the situation, and had never learned healthy ways of coping with the stress and trauma in his life, he turned to binge drinking and self harm.

his way out came in the form of an acceptance letter from suffolk university. as soon as he graduated high school, he left for boston and never looked back. 

while he had a great inner drive in high school, that came to a screeching halt once he started college. his motivation had always been to get out of wayzata. but now that he was finally free, he had no idea what to do. at the same time, he was dealing with the aftermath of both his dad and his ex-girlfriend’s abuse towards him. 

while he continued pushing forward, he never found that motivation to really care about school or his future again. he’s in his final year of college and still hasn’t figured out what he wants to do with his life. he feels stuck and frustrated.

most people don’t know about his parents, or his struggles with mental health and self harm. he’s in total denial that he has a problem with alcohol. he simply doesn’t open up easily, preferring to surround himself with a shell that can become spiky if he feels uncomfortable. but he’s always cracking jokes and acting like he doesn’t take anything seriously, putting up a front so nobody looks too closely at the cracks.

[ HEADCANONS ] 

while chandler is shit at taking care of his own needs, he’s amazing at taking care of other people. he will hold your hair back at a party while you throw up, make sure you drink enough water and electrolytes, then make you breakfast in the morning. he’s definitely a bit of a ‘mom friend’, although he doesn’t think he is.

he may act apathetic, but he cares. a lot. he’s a rather empathetic person. unfortunately he has the emotional intelligence of a spoon, so this isn’t always a good thing

sometimes when he’s drunk, chandler starts rambling about video game and/or cartoon conspiracy theories

his yearbook quote was “would you woohoo me in sims yes or no”

also he really likes cooking for other people so if he asks to cook for you please just humor him and say yes

[ WANTED CONNECTION ]

some sort of family member // he’s an only child, so probably a cousin. they don’t have to be from minnesota.

exes // guys, girls, nonbinary people....doesn’t matter. 

fake relationship // for some reason, these two pretend they’re dating. maybe more happens, maybe not.

restaurant service // they can’t cook, so they’re always coming over and eating what chandler makes.

roommate // they could be the best of friends or hate each others guts. lots of room to find the right dynamic

best friend // one of the only people chan trusts, and they know everything about him

classmate // self explanatory

[ DISCLAIMERS ]

i know some people get really touchy about aces being portrayed as sex repulsed so often. asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, that’s it. some aces like sex. however, chandler does not and that’s okay too!

also i know he has some heavy topics in his writing. i will tag any post that involve these topics accordingly, and always do my absolute best to handle this kind of material in a respectful and empathetic way. 

[ FINAL NOTES ]

so yeah that’s chandler. so much for making this short, but i actually left a lot of small details out. please like this post or send me a message to start plotting with my son.

[asterekmess]

S3A - E7

So, I’m starting this episode right after finishing the last one, and I’m still kinda riled up from that bullshit. Let’s get to pissing me off and breaking my heart then. Blood/gore mention warnings for this episode.

Exercise your eyes! Read More!

Let’s just jump right in:

Starting right off with forcing myself into putting the tag in. Scott literally just listened to his mother say that giving this woman something to lessen the pain of her injuries could complicate things and make it harder to treat her. This is like an important medical thing. While yes, it’s really upsetting that she would need to keep being in pain, she needs to be able to identify and explain what exactly she’s feeling to the doctor who is going to be arrive really soon (though I have no idea why the nurses aren’t able to get these people set up. That’s what they did with me? I didn’t see a doctor for like an hour, but they didn’t make me sit in the fucking waiting room before dealing with the blood.) Her pain level will have a direct effect on how quickly she’s seen. This moment is meant to show Scott being soft-hearted, but with the doctor only ten minutes away, he could literally be making this woman’s life a whole lot worse by taking away her pain right now. There is a reason why after I was given pain killers for my surgery I wasn’t allowed to be near any heavy objects. Her pain is keeping her from irritating her wound. She could fuck herself up if she stops responding to the signals her body is trying to send her. This is not the right way to make Scott look kind. He looks like an idiot who doesn’t even listen to his nurse mom.

WHo the FUCK would keep driving with a bunch of bugs in the car? She’s not even on the interstate! PULL OVER IDIOT.

I’m actually agreeing with Scott on this one. I have no idea how medically accurate what melissa just did was, but it look pretty damn cool.

WHat the hell is this conversation? First off, Ethan, you made VERY clear in the last episode that you want to bite Danny even after he said no. Even if that was the possession talking, it was based on what YOU wanted. Danny’s not safe with you. Second, what is this bullshit about knowing Lydia is the important one? Important to Stiles and ALlison maybe. Scott literally never talks to Lydia. THIRD how exactly did you guys come up with that idea when you went after them on the FIRST DAY? You sniff him on them? cus’ if so your noses are damaged.

what...what is with this ghost car shit? She was in the middle of the city, more than ten minutes away from the hospital and behind the traffic caused by the ten car pileup. How did the car drive itself ALL THE WAY here?

Ethan. you’re an alpha. you have night vision. You shouldn’t need to ask what the fucking MOTH in the middle of the driver’s seat is.

HI NOAH! I’ll be honest. I missed you. You’re a really good actor and you just make me feel all safe. WHich is weird bc I hate father figures and I hate cops. Linden Ashby is just too good, I guess.

It’s so frustrating watching Deucalion walk around with humans pretending to be blind. Because he is. He is Pretending to be blind. He’s already proved like a dozen times that he can see just fine when he turns on the Alpha eyes. Which doesn’t make SENSE because Deaton said his iris’ were permanently damaged. He doesn’t have two different sets of eyes! And it sucks, bc they put in these little things that it would’ve been awesome to see if they included an actual blind person properly. The casual use of the cane, taking someone’s elbow and the trust that implies, and even this. Having (that looks like ethan’s coat) Ethan explain what’s in front of Deucalion, describing the scene to him.

DEREK YOUR SECURITY SYSTEM SUCKS. HOW DID THEY DO THAT WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP? WITHOUT CORA NOTICING?

Also, Cora, you look amazing, can you please be my friend and can I hug you? I love your shirt.

I HATE THIS BITCH. Fuck you Julia.

uhh....why is an English teacher filling in for a chemistry/geometry teacher? That’s not how substitutes work. Making a joke out of it doesn’t make it make any more sense. SHe shouldn’t be doing that, especially if Harris has been missing for a while.

So your office can keep werewolves out, but not darach? Okay, let me go full conspiracy theorist here. we only know Deaton saw the moths because we see it. He just tells Scott that he’s going to be taken. This is a story that Scott is telling, so he couldn’t know that deaton saw the moths unless deaton told him. Julia is currently teaching a class. Are you seriously saying she doesn’t need to be involved at all in order to do these kidnappings? She can just put them on a timer and let the autmoatic spellwork do the job for her? OR Is deaton lying about being taken, and this is just a test he came up with to force Scott’s “True Alpha”ness to the surface? JUlia clearly had other plans for her sacrifice. I don’t think Deaton was a ‘distraction’ to keep Scott from finding the actual sacrifice. I think it was Deaton using the situation to his advantage.

why does deaton have a canine acupressure chart on his wall? I’ve never seen a vet’s office have that. Does he do alternative medicine for dogs??

BOYD. ISAAC. MY BOYS. I can’t tell you how much I love this. It’s so sneaky and annoying and so pack-ish I just love it so much.

BOYD YOU ARE A GENIUS BOY AND I LOVE YOU.

I swear, like ninety percent of what the ‘adults’ in this show say is ‘go back to school.’ ‘shouldn’t you be in school’ yadda yadda. Like, they want so badly to write the teens as though they never have to go to class, so they just make them constantly skip and ignore that these are fucking teenagers who would never be able to get out of school that easily, and they handwave it with someone occasionally going ‘hmm, weird that they aren’t in school’ and then just ignoring it? Truancy is like a THING that you can get in major trouble for. At least Boyd and Isaac called in sick. You know how you could have avoided all this class bullshit? PUT THE FUCKING SEASON DURING THE SUMMERTIME DUMBASSES.

It just hurts seeing Stiles beg for Scott not to make him tell his dad, and then turn right around and admit that it’s not okay for him to let other people suffer just because it scares him that he might lose his only parent. Like, he walks into that sacrifice with eyes wide fucking open and it hurts.

I’m not talking about these dumb sex scenes anymore. I’m so tired of them.

OKay, can we talk about the fire alarm thing though? It sounds like a jokey kind of thing with Aiden teasing Lydia about wanting to leave during the fire alarm but... Remember how Lydia was haunted by Peter���s burnt corpse? How she can hear the cries of the dead, and how she went wandering into the crumbling remains of the Hale house? There’s every chance that Lydia remembers the fire through Peter’s eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was forever freaked by fire alarms.

Man, Cora and Lydia, together? The sass involved? If I didn’t ship Allydia so hard, I’d totally ship Cora and Lydia.

ONce again, I wanna point out that AIDEN IS A MURDERER. Literally all it would take is someone Explaining to Lydia that he is serial killer and she’d never touch him again.

Cora and Stiles together? I’m loving it. I just, wanna point out that when Scott showed up Cora couldn’t have given less of a shit. But here....Cora doesn’t remotely question Stiles’ authority here. She immediately goes along with it and when he tells her to let go of Cora she does. Even though she has no real reason to. When she asks about the spirit board, it’s a legit question and she doesn’t argue or make fun.

PLus there’s the whole ‘Well do you know any spirits” which straight up just confirms for me that ghosts and shit are real in this universe. I trust the Hales as lore sources and Cora’s matter-of-fact tone is good enough for me.

jesus christ i wanna get deucalion and Peter in a room together and watch them just...monologue random facts and trivia at each other endlessly. “Lacrosse was originally played by Native Americans.” “Do you know what a metronome is?” Guys. come on.

Exasperated Stiles is literally my favorite Stiles. “We’re trying to save lives here for the love of god” “YOU”RE SOMETHING, OKay? JUST put out your Hand” It’s so fucking good.

Someone EXPLAIN TO ME how Scott learned to do fucking gymnastics. WHEN DID HE LEARN THIS? I hate this bullshit “I’m a werewolf, so I can do anything” shit. Especially since it’s LITERALLY just Scott they let do it. Everyone else has to actually do the work to learn it.

So...how exactly does Deucalion know where Deaton is? This literally just supports my theory that Deaton set the whole thing up.

ALSO, since I already have the tag I feel no shame in pointing out that Scott didn’t even HESITATE when he learned Derek was going to die. He immediately asked about Deaton. Yeah yeah, Deaton is a father figure to him, but if that’s an acceptable excuse for Scott to use now, then it should count as an acceptable one when it’s STILES” FATHER BEING THREATENED (but I digress, we’re not there yet.)

How did I never notice that Lydia’s Left handed?

andd.....how did Lydia know that? How did Scott know that? What did Deucalion say that even remotely hints at Danny? Scott doesn’t know about Danny’s paper...what?

Fuck yeah, vengeful Boyd. I dig it.

uh....why couldn’t allison just stand next to Scott in the closet. you know, like she did while he was getting in? Also, why was Allison hiding with him anyway? It’s HER HOUSE and HER BEDROOM.

um....okay, i know that we all like the sterek fics where they have to hide in the closet and one of them pops a boner...but I’mma be real, it’s a lot more uncomfortable when I know she broke up with Scott and they’ve been in there for like ten seconds. Plus there’s the whole knowing that she DEFINITELY has enough room to move away and so does he. *shrug*

Side note: Allison where the fuck do you get these clothes? THey’re both awesome and...kinda weird? Did you buy that dress in france?

okay, i’ll admit it, i do actually kinda like the camera angle through the map, with the blacklight lighting up the symbols (though the symbols flash on and off a little too fast). It’s kinda cool.

uh, how would taking the picture help? You don’t have the blacklight over it? None of the markings are visible anymore

why does Chris keep walking in and out? AND WHY DIDN”T ALLISON DO THAT THE FIRST TIME?

Stiles in plaid and Converse? Yes. Yes. please. That’s so my aesthetic I’m so fucking jealous. He looks COMFY.

This whole interaction is just so fucking weird XD

But like, why would Stiles know to go through Danny’s stuff instead of just asking him why he might’ve been targeted??

HOW WOULD THEY KNOW TO CUT THE POWER? THIS DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Why does the ALpha pack keep showing up with way more information than they should have? It’s so annoying! It’s one thing if Morrell is feeding them information, but she wouldn’t have KNOWN about this! This was a good plan and there’s NO REASON the Alphas should’ve known what Boyd, Isaac, and Derek were doing! What the fuck?

....god i love Derek’s red eyes.

....god i hate that I know where this is going.

....god i wish he’d just let them tear her apart.

I know that it’s meant to be setting up the cora/stiles thing, but I love that she doesn’t hesitate to touch him, and that when she stops him it’s with a very quiet “stop.” She’s really gentle with him, which is just fucking nice. Werewolves taking care to be gentle with Stiles is like...nice.

Since when did Scott know about the plan with Boyd and Isaac? Since when did Stiles know? Is Boyd seriously texting Cora while Derek and Kali are fighting, or did he text her as soon as the power was cut?

is this the first time we see a werewolf bounce off the mountain ash? I mean, I think so, but we also see Peter in S1 try to get past some. There’s no glowing when he comes into contact with the shield. It’s the same with Isaac and Erica in s2. I mean...I guess they’re just trying to upgrade the ash stuff? I gotta say though, I kinda prefered when there were no special effects. It seemed cooler when literally the only thing making it work was belief and having this totally invisible barrier that Peter couldn’t cross. It was cool.

....i think i’m procrastinating seeing the end of this fight. I’m gonna fucking cry.

Why...why does Isaac turn and yell ‘wait’ to Boyd when he was the one running forward to Julia? I am confusion.

Dude, if Alphas could break through mountain ash barriers then Talia Hale WOULDN”T HAVE DIED. THE HALE PACK WOULDn’T HAVE DIED.

I wanna point out here, that this fight between Derek and Kali makes sense for once. Him losing makes sense. We know that the Alphas are much older than they look, or at least Kali, Deucalion and Ennis were. Aiden and Ethan don’t show up in that flashback. ANyway, Kali’s probably in her thirties or forties. SHe’s much older than Derek and she’s been fighting for a lot longer, not to mention fighting to kill.

Seriously, someone get my boy a quarterstaff to knock her feet away.

I really really don’t understand this stuff. Why is it whenever people (I mean Derek, because it’s literally always Derek) get forced to use their werewolf claws/teeth (because again I cannot believe this is happening more than once) he for some reason can’t just...shift back? Retract his claws and fangs? Derek has amazing control, he should totally have been able to do it. With the venom it made sense, he was paralyzed. But now??

What exactly was the fucking point of having Scott break the mountain ash barrier, just to have the sheriff show up and shoot Deaton down? That was literally useless.

also, Noah is an amazing shot. Hot damn.

ALSO. LIterally all this info about true alphas is being whispered to Scott when he’s all alone? How the fuck am i supposed to trust that deaton even ever said that shit to Scott? He could totally be lying about it.

WHAT KIND OF TOTAL BULLSHIT BACKWARDS ASS PLOTLINE IS THIS? After half the season being about Deucalion attacking Derek and trying to get him into the pack, suddenly “Deucalion isn’t after Derek, he’s after you” WHAT? THat’s the STUPIDEST LAZIEST SHIT I’VE EVER SEEN.

and to end my rant BOYD SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PETER STUCK HIS ENTIRE HAND THROUGH DEREK”S CHEST IN SEASON 1 WHIL IN HIS ALPHA FORM AND THREW HIM INTO A WALL AND DEREK SURVIVED JUST FINE. WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE???

Final Thoughts: No. No, no, no no, no, and no. The ‘plotline’ of this episode is literally like fifteen things that have nothing to do with each other.

Admittedly, there were a few nice moments. Cora, Lydia, and Stiles was an awesome trio. Boyd, Isaac, and Derek was an awesome trio. The sheriff? Amazing. Melissa? A fucking hero. Danny, a genius saint.

All in all, I’m going to tear this episode to shreds in order to rewrite it. Get fucked, Davis.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

Kira Vol 2 (2)

The Mistress

CHAPTER 2: You Were Found

Loki x fem!Reader (Kira)

Series: A new chapter begins in Kira’s life. Old secrets, new confessions, surprising allies and unexpected meetings. All of them have one name in common. Loki.

Chapter content: soft feels

Warnings: none

Word count: I’m feeling better today, enjoying the weather, shit scared of thunder and wanting sleep to come early so I don’t wake up in the noon like I did today

MASTERLIST & Taglist in bio, my love

If the air could spell out the emotions floating in this space, it would paint the molecules 'awkward'. But what is more fascinating to witness by anyone who would walk in on the scene is to point out to who is more uncomfortable than the others. You sit across your parents, busy helping serve breakfast around the table, your attention is mostly taken by your grandmother- who is more than delighted to be served fried bread, these little pieces of her favourite edible treasures of fried dough and a hot cup of tea to go with it all. Shireen and Ritviz, your younger sister and brother sit on the other end of the table together, watching you with their piercing gaze as you try to- almost- completely ignore this extraordinarily handsome man sitting right next to you. They dare not blink as this pale sculpted dude looks at the movements of your hands busy at work before landing his haze upon your face. "So-" Ritviz leans in towards Shireen, his eyes still not letting go of this guy who is stuck on his sister for some reason- "this is her boss?"

Shireen hums, narrowing her eyes towards the duo. Taking a cardamom stick from the table basket, she snaps it in half. "Ay, Kira. Give your boss some of that mint sauce you prepared last night." You turn to watch your sister nibble at the cardamom, trying your best to ignore the palpitations and nod with a smile. How does she always know? It is hard to know if the heat your feel at the nape of your neck and cheeks is visible to everyone sitting around you and even harder to let your excited brain find a switch to shut down the anxiety that your body feels on having all the people you love in one room. On the same table. "Have some of this," your mother brings forward an entire serving of her signature chillis fried and spiced in her signature chickpea dough recipe and asks Loki to help himself. "No!" You blurt out when Loki tries to go for them, moving them away to take charge of filling his plate up. "He can't eat chilli," you explain, gathering more judgment from your siblings, "it doesn't suit him." "Tsk. How have you been living with him till now?! You can barely survive without spicy food!" You and Loki turn your heads- quite in sync- to look at Shireen. "Shireen," mother uses her tone to make it known she is crossing some line. But she also makes sure to smile at her daughter's guest and serve him some piping hot tea. "Don't mind her. I dropped her on the floor when she was a baby," you whisper to Loki. Loki blinks and quietly chuckles before turning back to look at Shireen. "We have a cook back home. She makes sure Kira gets everything she wants and needs." There is a gasp forming in Ritviz's lungs right now as he bites into the fried cheese. 'We'? 'Back home'? This dude already planned their retirement?? "So, Loki..." Now all three children turn to look at their mother, knowing full well where this is going the moment she addresses your boss so casually. "Do you have any siblings?" Ritviz facepalms himself harder than anticipated. Shireen grabs a chilli and stuffs it in her mother's mouth while you try to keep a straight face through the embarrassment your family is making you feel. Well, your dad and grandma are an exception because they are more interested in the food. "She doesn't have any idea about what's going on around the world. So..." You trial off with apology bursting through your y/e/c eyes. Your siblings look at your mother with daggers in their eyes, knowing full well she has consumed the Odin family history through the news like an addict ever since you got the job at Sun Corp. More so when you came back home. Your mom can feel their stares. But she too takes her time to look at them and go 'what' like it's a big deal. "Meet me outside after breakfast and I'll tell you 'what'," Shireen threatens her. Loki simply shrugs. "It's fine. I have a brother. He is back in Asgard looking after his father's empire. We don't meet each other much. Mostly because of our work." It is both relieving and painful to watch Loki sail on those words so smoothly and end them with a genuine smile. "These are delicious, by the way," he adds and you have to wonder about a thousand things about your boss in one go. Your mother is won over by that compliment but that does not stop her from prying more into your boss' life. "The business must be going well then?" Loki nods in respect. "We have been going stable. So, that is a plus after the slump the market was facing." "Okay, no business talk on the table," you remind everyone before pouring some soda for you, your grandma and Loki. "The food still might feel spicy. Have the soda first and tea later." Loki pauses between bites and lets that sweet command swirl inside him, his bones feeling alive after so long on hearing that voice talk to him this way. "Yes, ma'am," he replies softly, and you have to hide the flush on your face and the smile on your lips behind your hands. "What happened?" your grandma asks you out of the blue, her strong sixth sense already catching the flutter in your gut. You shake your head and bribe her with the soda. Her focus is redirected instantly, but that does not mean she stops observing you through this heavenly meal. "Why didn't you get married yet?" your mother throws the question out of nowhere, making some people choke on their drink, others groan, and one snicker. "Okay, that's it," you announce, "he's staying at the hotel. Loki, you're staying at the hotel." Your mother's wide eyes look at the usual judgment of the siblings falling upon her. "What? I'm just asking this handsome man about-" "You cannot ask him that, ma," you and Ritvik groan, Shireen tsks and rolls her eyes. Loki, watching this unfold simply smirks at this pure delight he feels sitting in the midst of this family. You get up and go to the kitchen to get some more sauces for the table, all the while glaring at your mother- who chooses to not notice. The fried dough smells and tastes heavenly even though it is one heavy portion for him. Worth it, he shrugs internally and goes for another bite. His right wrist feels a tug and he witnesses the frail wrinkled hand shaking a little before pointing him to the soda bottle in front of him. "Have some sprite," your grandmother urges Loki with a smile in her eyes. Loki feels a tug on the string of his hearts. Those eyes are a mix of green, brown, grey and every mystic power of nature that can be held in the iris of a wise person. That withered face shines bright with plump cheeks and transparent emotions. "I'm...uh...I'm good, Mrs Kane, thank you," Loki reciprocates the smile, "I still have some left in my glass." Grandma nods and pushes her own glass forward. "Then pour me some, will you?" Loki cannot help but chuckle, complying with the orders straight away. "So-" your mother's voice breaks through the soothing air over the table just as you come out of the kitchen- "how much do you earn?" And you walk right back into it.

"Pretty cringy breakfast downstairs." Moving away from the view of the mountains in the near distance, Loki sees Ritvik stand by the rooftop door with a box in his hand. He can see Shireen stand behind him, bluffing disinterest as she pushes his brother away to walk towards the wires and hang the washed laundry to dry under the oddly hot December sun. "Isn't that how families usually are?" Loki smiles in his direction. Ritviz joins the man by the railings, looking at the mountains covered in thick clouds before paying attention to the maroon sweater Loki wears with his midnight blue jeans. The boy cannot help but appreciate the wide knit patterns adorn that white skin with apt beauty. "Nice sweater," he points before turning around to sit down on the platform. "Thanks, it w-" something stops Loki mid-sentence when he remembers the day he found it waiting in his bedroom- "it was a gift." Ritviz hums and smirks. "Good taste," he mutters. Shireen's eyes have been stuck on these two, reading their every word as every fabric getting in her hands is tortured with a sudden flick. "Is she a good assistant? My sister?" the brother asks. Is...that a trick question? Loki blinks at the mountains before smiling at the boy. "The best one I could ask for." A nod of agreement comes from the brother while the sister stands there giving more frustrated flicks to the sweaters. "Cool. Cool cool cool cool. So...she must keep up with whatever it is she's supposed to do." Oh for fucks sake. Shireen groans out loud. "Just ask him already dammit!" Both men turn towards Shireen. One looks at her in confusion while the other widens his eyes in caution at her, shaking his head as discreetly as possible. "Ask...ask me what?" "Nothin-" "How did Kira get hurt?" A crow yells whilst sitting on the top of the malacca as if laughing at the entire situation. Ritviz scratches some itch at the back of his neck while sighing in defeat. "You are supposed to go easy with the questions, Rin. This guy is the reason Kira has a job." "Oh, shut it, Ritz," she scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest, "it's not like he's doing her a favour. She has earned her place, okay? And she got wounded under his care!" Loki can see the scrunched up nose and brows carry on them a rage held in for far too long. Even though those grey eyes have nothing but animosity in them for him, he feels a certain elation on seeing them stand in defence for her sister. "Oi!" RItz is about to yell at Rin but Loki cuts him on the way. "She was in an accident." The chilly breeze takes the words and swirls them around the audience. "The car she was travelling in met with a serious accident. Three of my men died that night. One survived long enough to make sure Kira was all right." The crisp heat of the sun feels warm instead of scorching. Those fine lines on Rin's forehead fade just a little; partially because of hearing those words straight from the lion's mouth, partially because the guilt is transparent to a fault in those smaragdines that shimmer more than they normally should. "I was supposed to be with her that night. I promised to take her home, safe and sound. And I regret every second of not keeping my promise, I assure you that. If there was a way to repent for being careless with Kira's life, I would gladly give myself up for it." The silence that erodes the rooftop brings a lightness to it. Rin sighs and crosses her arms while Ritz cannot bring himself to look at Loki- who is patiently waiting for a word. "Kira told us there were bad guys involved," Rin mutters while letting her fingers play with the wool of her white sweater, "and by us, I mean me and Ritz. Mom and dad have no idea about this. They still think she fell from the stairs." Loki nods. "Did they try to hurt her because of...you?" Ritz cannot help but ask. The weight that has begun to make home over his chest returns after what seems like a while. That uneasy feeling of something scratching over his heart makes him uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, that is not what I meant," Ritz scrunches his face in an apology, "not that she was hurt because of you. What I meant was-" "Yes. I was the reason." "Bullshit!" Rin scoffs and laughs. That...was unexpected. "I'm pretty sure she did something to piss them off. She's done it before and she will def-fucking-nately do it again." Rin is not wrong. And the strong edge in her voice tells him she knows her sister well enough. "What I care about is that now that she works for you, she will be fighting a fight that isn't hers. And, God forbid, if something happens to-" "I won't let it," Loki is already marking down a vow, "I have witnessed it once and I am not going to let anything or anyone make her go through it again." "But you cannot promise me that she won't go looking for danger, can you?" The lift of her brow makes Loki recall why he fell for Kira. "Agreed. I cannot do that. But whatever she brings home with her, I am willing to clean the mess." "You-" Rin has to literally grit her teeth before she can find herself pouring down fire over the man who talks about her sister like... The embers burning inside her bring blood to the surface under her teeth. Of all the goddamn people in this world. She looks at those green eyes shining under the soothing rays; translucent to a fault, standing bare. "Rin," Ritz quietly urges, trying to take her by the arm. "She will get hurt again, won't she?" Ritz stands there, feeling as significant as the wind meddling with the two people standing opposite each other defending their love for the same person again and again. And if they could, they would do it endlessly. "She does not back down from a fair fight," Loki addresses something all three of them already know. "That fight is always to save someone else," Rin adds, never blinking. "One more reason for me to carefully choose my enemies," Loki concludes, never wavering his gaze. A sigh leaves Rin's lungs and she feels her watery eyes closing with a pinch of pain in the eyelids. "The audacity of this bitch," she mutters and walks away, kicking the lone brick in her path that was used to keep the blankets holding drying chilli in place. "Please don't hate her," Ritz presses, sighing at the sight of his sister stomping down the stairs, "she is mad because she does not yet know how to process the emotion of envying you." Loki's brows furrow. And Ritviz can see the question incepting from miles away, making him chuckle and scratch an itch at the back of his head. "Kira stopped singing two years ago," he began, having Loki's full attention at the mention of the name, "all the weird songs and lyrics, all the wacky sound effects and humming disappeared when she fell ill. Of course, to the world, she was suffering from insomnia. But there was so much more. We were worried it would get worse when she left for the cyber city. So easy to get lost there, you know. I knew she cried every night even though she did not say. She always called mom in the morning when she had the energy for another day. I even thought of bringing her back home one day and right that morning she called us to tell us she had landed a job in your company. And her call times got more erratic. But her voice grew stronger. I don't know if it was because of the work or people around her, but she seemed to be better. That was one hope for us till we heard about the accident from you. That must have been hard for you, man. Telling us about her? And at the same time having to tell us to not meet her because of security reasons or whatever was going on? The day she told us she was coming back we thought that was it. That she was done. That she was coming home, done with the world and stuff. The first day she came back home, she was humming." Loki blinks, feeling an old string strike. "She-" Ritz chuckles at his own disbelief- "was covered in bruises and bandages and she was humming. She narrated incidents like she had come back from some great adventure and she talked like could not wait to go back. And the last time I saw her eyes sparkle like that, Loki, was when she had created art. And that was ages ago." Words do not even dare to come up from that lumpy throat. And even though he has no idea, Ritz can only imagine what Loki must be feeling right now. "So, please don't mind if my sister envies the fact that you were able to do something she could not figure out for Kira before. She fears Kira might have experienced a high that might be too dangerous for her. I'm not saying that I completely agree with her, but she might not be completely wrong." Loki exhales, feeling a load leave him as he moves his hand through his hair. "And I'm sure you'll do what's best," Ritz shrugs and smirks, casually pointing at Loki's sweater, "I mean, she doesn't give the best gifts to just anyone." Loki looks down at his sweater and has to take some time to find in himself to chuckle through the smooth roller coaster he was sent on. "Here." He watches Ritz bring forward the box he has been carrying for a while now. "Happy birthday. From me and Rin." There is a pause in every moment in his body. Even on an extraordinary day, it would be unexpected, but this man had stopped keeping expectations from the world a long time ago. No wonder then, that this gesture hits hard right in the chest, squeezing that heart to bring up some buried or burned scripts of having the chance of making new friends and family. It is a melody- on a piano sitting at the edge of a hill, a harp standing by the edge of the sea or a cello right in the middle of a wheat field- slowly but surely engulfing him with a different warmth that he is currently too slow to figure out. The undone ribbon lies on the cemented floor underneath him. The lid hangs in his hand as the ceramic reflects the light in his eyes while he looks with a mixture of confusion and surprise. The polished piece of mug is picked up to watch the animated caricature of two really proud beings leaning next to the words in the middle. One he recognises immediately. He can never miss those golden eyes and that lited brow with a knowing smile. The other? He has a hard time breathing it in because it only ends up making him laugh. The green eyes with the smug look and red sweater with black pants against the pale skin are giving him goosebumps. 'Father of a Big, Bad Wolf' it says.

For a second you feel like he hasn't heard you walk up to him. You are about to call out his name when a thought slides in from that on itching corner of your mind and tells you to pause and breathe in this picture. Loki, the man responsible for an empire that is both feared and respected today; the man with mysteries surrounding him in as dense clouds as the men and women who have fallen for his shadowed personality. The man who can run the world but right now stands on your rooftop with dewy eyes looking at the mug your brother made for him. The man who smiles the best smile when the world isn't looking. The man you have fallen for. Hard. It is a treat to witness this soft moment and it almost stings a little when he raises his head to let his gaze fall on your face. But more than that sting, it burns so well when his pupils dilate and his face glows on sensing your presence. "Do you like your birthday present?" you have to ask. And you cannot undo this big smile that is stuck on your face today. "Like would be an understatement, darling," he mentions while carefully putting the mug back into the box. Darling. The word still holds the power to send a delicious buzz down to your core. More so when he breathes such magic into it. "Oh," you nod and pretend to question, "then I wonder what will happen when you find out the rest of them today." Those fine lines on his forehead appear for second before excitement mixed with disbelief washes them away. "What?" He is barely able to whisper through the rush that is making his skin flush. And you are loving every second of it. "Happy birthday, Mr Loki, sir," you coo sweetly, licking your lips and taking a step closer to him, "let's not waste our time. We have a lot to do in these eighteen hours." And in this very second, he is certain of one thing when he looks at you. He would make sacred grounds in your name, kiss the dirt you walked in and teach the world what love is by painting a picture of you. He will protect that smile with his life and do everything in his power to make the world safer just for you. "Oh, and for your first surprise," you mention with a skip and jump in your step- something he is witnessing for the first time and loving every part of it- "my grandma seems to like you now." He chuckles with a smile so wide that makes you giggle at the adorableness. "That's good to he-wait. What do you mean now?" But you are already turning the corner to walk downstairs, humming a tune. "Kira, what-Kira! What do you mean now?"

[adarlingwrites]

Absolution

Summary:

noun: formal release from guilt, obligation, or punishment

The Capital Wasteland lauded the Lone Wanderer as a hero, a Messiah, a savior who's willing to give her life for the Good Fight. Beyond the legends, the propaganda, and the mythification that surrounded her legacy, there is only one person who knew her bare soul. She gave him his absolution, and now he will fight for hers.

VII

September 20, 2277.

Percy paces around in the room, looks for something to write on, then settles on the couch again. “Charon… you were saying something about your orders from General Chase in your dream. General Chase was a prominent figure in the Sino-American War 200 years ago. My God, were you there during the Battle of Anchorage?”

Hearing ‘Anchorage’ felt like wires crossed in my brain. The itch in my brain when I saw her in the stealth armor for the first time started to make sense. Anchorage is where I first saw it, worn by enemy troops. Crimson Dragoons, some of them snipers, just like her. My throat feels tight, and I cannot answer. I just nod.

“Charon, I won’t be asking about the details of the dream, but was the dream showing a traumatic event? Like, someone dying, or you getting hurt?”

“Yes. It’s... weird,” I manage to rasp. “There are some parts that I know did not happen recently. Then, there are events which happened within the past week.”

“I see. Did you feel like you were living in that moment again, instead of being at my house, on this day?” she asks me, and I nod. She continues to scribble on the piece of paper that she found.

“Any idea what might’ve triggered it?” she asks me, and I shrug. “Anything? Like a sound, or an object that reminds you of the event?”

I pause for a second. I remember the feeling I had looking at the power armor in my room before my body forced me to sleep.

“The power armor, in the room you gave me,” I tell her, and her eyebrows perk up. “I think I used to wear one of those.” Percy puts her pen and paper down, and stands up.

“I’ll refrain from discussing it further unless you want to talk about it, but holy shit,” Percy exclaims, running a hand through her hair, back turned from me. “I’m so sorry for exposing you to that, if I only knew…” Percy sits back down and her eyes drift to her stealth suit that she stripped for maintenance. “Did my armor remind you of Anchorage too?”

“Yes,” I tell her the truth.

“I’ll stop wearing it, if it makes you relive those memories. I’ll remove the power armor from your room too.”

“I appreciate it, but your armor does not upset me, miss. Please, keep it. You have a higher chance of surviving combat situations with it.”

Percy sighs. “If you’re sure that it doesn’t upset you, okay.” She clears her throat when she realizes the professional facade she’s been putting on slipped off.

“Anyway, I’ve yet to observe arousal and mood symptoms, but, Charon, you’re showing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder,” said Percy after a few minutes of tense silence, who’s now looking at the book she was occupied with earlier. “I still need to observe you further. I don’t want to make a hasty diagnosis. If you do have it, I can assure you that it’s possible to get better, and I can help you.”

“It is not necessary, miss.”

“You can’t keep saying that whenever something concerning is happening to you,” the mistress scolds me. The dog jumps between us and starts burying his head on my lap.

“Miss, it is not your responsibility to look after my well-being. It is my own. You should not concern yourself with such things.”

“As someone who’s training to be a doctor, I just can’t ignore someone who’s clearly in need of professional help. What kind of doctor would that make me?”

“As my employer, however, it states in the contract that it is not your responsibility. You would know that if you’ve read it in its entirety,” I argue back, and Percy’s frustration grows. She rubs her hands against her face, and throws it up once again.

“But I- what if we weren’t… Why is it so hard to talk to you?”

My throat hitches at her outburst. This is the first time she raised her voice at me while I’m under her employ. Percy sags in front of me, eyes wild in her frustration, but it isn’t anger I am seeing in her face. Frustration. Worry. Sadness.

“If you think having me in your employ is more than you bargained for, you can sell my contract.”

“Wait, no! No. I can’t do that. I can’t just sell you like, like a rifle or-or a piece of armor,” Percy exclaims, holding her forehead with one hand.

“You are not selling me, miss. I belong to no one. You will be selling the ownership of my contract that entitles the holder my services in combat, and my full loyalty.”

“You’re not making it sound any better. Plus, we’re straying from the topic.”

Putting her legs on the couch and crossing her legs, she turns to me.

“How do I put this in a way that you’d understand? Charon, you and I are lucky that this happened in the safety of my home. I can’t have you slipping into an episode in the middle of the wasteland. You won’t be able to protect me, or yourself. You'd become a liability instead of an asset.”

“I think I understand now. Very well. I shall allow you to treat me,” I tell her, and she gives me a sigh of relief. I look at her expectantly, and she gives me a questioning look.

“What?”

“If you have any procedures to do, I’m allowing you to do so.”

My mistress rubs her face. “This isn’t like the time I patched up the wounds on your back, Charon. This process could take months, or even years. It’s a gradual thing.”

I didn’t respond. I didn’t feel the need to.

“But we can take small steps. Just one thing at a time,” she continues, a slight smile on her face. Percy picks up her book again, and scoots a little closer, the dog nestled between us.

“Do you have any hobbies? Things you do for fun or leisure?” she asks me, that expectant look on her face again. I pause to think. I couldn’t answer. “None.”

“None? You do nothing in your spare time?”

“I wasn’t given the luxury of having ’spare time’ by my previous employers, miss.”

Percy’s shoulders sag further. There’s a look on her face that I haven’t seen in anyone in a long time. Pity. Most people would have fear on their faces when they see me. Not this one. She smiles. She feels worried for me. It relieves and overwhelms me at the same time. But pity? I don’t need it. Especially not from an employer. My function is to serve them.

She must’ve realized the look on her face, because she clears her throat and shrugs her shoulder. “Well then, we have plenty of time to look for activities you’ll enjoy.”

As my mistress continues to flip through her book, Dogmeat perks his head up and gives my ruined face a lick. His fur is no longer as dirty as it was when he found him. Probably Percy’s doing. I couldn’t stop myself. I ran my rough hands on his head to pet him, and the dog started wagging his tail. I glanced at Percy, and she was looking, that smile on her face again, and looked away just as I saw it. She clears her throat and flips to a page.

“Let’s start with grounding techniques.”

December 26, 2277.

It’s the day after Christmas. I can’t remember if I even celebrated it before the war, but Percy’s father insisted we stay with him to celebrate. Percy pulled me aside and told me that her father is religious, and though she never was, she still celebrates religious holidays with him and asked me to play along. My mistress looked uncomfortable and on edge the entire time. Though James was all smiles the entire time, there’s a scrutinizing look on James’ face; Percy shares the same look when we talk to strangers. It makes me feel wary.

Hours before James’ death, I was returning from an errand Percy gave me when I can vaguely hear her argument with her father from another room, muffled by the walls of the memorial.  I wasn’t supposed to listen to a private conversation between a father and his child but I heard my name being mentioned by the doctor.

“Persephone Zhou! That is malpractice! And you’re living under the same roof too?!”

“He has no one else! What, just because I patch him up and I help him cope with his problems -” Percy’s. Her father cuts her off before she can finish.

“Honey, you are Charon’s doctor. And from what you’ve told me, you’ve been providing him services as a psychiatrist too. I can’t even find the words to describe how unethical this… dalliance of yours with him.”

“Dad! Oh my God, we’re not in a relationship! Where are you even hearing those rumors?!”

Though the mistress had been good to me, I can imagine the look of disgust on her face when her father suggested such a thing. Ghouls and smoothskins don’t do relationships, no matter how kind a smoothskin may be. That’s just the way things were.

“I’m sorry, Percy. Word travels fast. I’ve heard some concerning rumors about you and your ghoul friend.”

“Dad, if I did stay in the vault and became the head physician because you left and they killed Jonas, would I be disallowed to pursue any sort of connection because I’m the only doc in that hole? I’d be married to the job like you were after mom died? Is that it?”

“The circumstances are different and you know it. The vault is a very insular community so we had to rely on each other for social support. It would die out if its members did not reproduce or adapt to changes.”

“Dad, you’ve been in the wasteland. There’s just pockets of settlements here in DC, and doctors are scarce. Psychs and people training to be one are even scarcer. Would you call it unethical if they pursued friendships or fell in love with someone who they patched up so many times from being shot at by raiders? Or someone they counseled from all the violence in the wasteland? Jesus, dad, the American Psychiatric Association doesn’t even fucking exist anymore. It’s in ruins. I can even take you there.”

“Watch your language! I didn’t raise you to be disrespectful, Persephone.”

“I’m sorry. But how I say it doesn’t change the fact.”

“The fact is it’s still highly unethical. There are still institutions that exist that teach medicine and they would not approve of your point of view. How did you think I became a doctor?”

“I’m not arguing with you any further, dad. I’ll go run your errands now.”

“Fine. But we’re not done talking, young lady.”

December 27, 2277.

It’s two hours past midnight. Percy’s screams and the sound of her baseball bat crashing against the metal of an old car echo through the scrapyard.

Only after accompanying the scientists to the Citadel, getting in a fist fight with a Brotherhood paladin for almost not allowing us inside because of my presence, and locating a thing called a GECK on the Brotherhood’s computers, did she finally allow herself to grieve her father. And she grieved hard.

At the sound of the bat snapping, she let out another scream and threw the broken weapon across the threshold. On her hands and knees, her glasses fell from her face, then she bruised her knuckles punching the dirt. Only then did I intervene, gently holding her arms and keeping it to her side. To my surprise, she doesn’t thrash or fight back. She froze for a minute, before curling into a ball and crying out as she settled against my chest.

The events that led to James’ death play over and over again in my head. If I hadn’t slowed her down…

“Percy, may I say something?”

She looks up to me, nodding, fresh tears staining her cheek. Her lips are trembling. She finally allowed herself to cry.

“I slowed us down. If I had overcome my episode faster, we would have gotten back to the rotunda and prevented the incident. It cost your father’s life. If you should punish me, or sell my contract, I will accept-”

“No!”

The word came out of her mouth as a broken cry.

“Don’t blame my dad’s death on yourself, Charon. It’s the fucking Enclave’s fault, and no one else’s. You- we, we did the best we could,” said my mistress, sniffling.

“I understand.”

She draws closer and puts her arms around my neck, and my brain misfires at the gesture. It’s like someone set me on fire, but it doesn’t hurt. I had carried and held her before, but nothing like this. My heart was jumping to my throat. Warm against me, she buried her wet face at the crook of my neck. Another sob wracked her body and before I could think, my arms pulled her in an embrace, stilling her.

This isn’t the first time she sought comfort from my presence. She did so every time there were thunderstorms. I never dared to touch her, though a part of me wanted to draw circles in her skin and watch it bounce against my finger instead of flaking off, like mine does.

This is the first time I allowed myself to hold her too.

We remained like that for the next twenty or so minutes, then Percy breaks the silence.

“Charon.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t ever leave me. Please?”

“I’ll stay by your side as long as you will have me.”

Her arms stiffened in response.

“Are you saying this just because of the contract, or do you mean it? Please. Be honest.”

There it goes again. My breath hitching in my throat. I didn’t know how to respond. My mistress looks at me expectantly with her bloodshot eyes.

“It doesn’t matter.”

She pulls away from the embrace, and she doesn’t look at me as she picked up her glasses and collected herself. Dogmeat, who was terrified by her venting, finally sidles up to her side again and licks her hand. Percy pets him and embraces him in return, burying her face in the mutt’s fur and planting kisses on his forehead.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wonder what that would feel like every time Percy does it to the dog.

On the way to Megaton, she tinkers with the radio on her Pip-Boy, and a broadcast neither of us ever heard before comes in.

“Charon.”

“Yes?”

“I need to go home.”

When we arrived at the entrance of Vault 101, only then did I realize that she didn’t mean her house in Megaton. She let out a shaky exhale as the heavy vault door started to open after she put a password in the terminal.

“Welcome to my childhood home.”

[a19yearoldtryinherbest]

Trust. [Bill Hader]

    Masterlist

Prompt: It’s the IT premiere and someone drinks a bit much, letting some of their feelings and fears out.

Warning: Swearing, angst and fluff. Also a very emotional and a long-ish monologue.

A/N: This took longer, I was stuck with another story plus I had one of those weeks but last night this story came to mind and did it. 

PS: Is it just me or Bill looks really hot angry? (Like in the GIF or in Barry) 

Word count: 1919

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Bill smiled as he tried to pose, his hands doing nothing but falling flat next to his torso being followed by his shoulders slouching down. He had forgotten all the pointers Gwen had gave him, but she didn't care, it wasn't like it was her idea to improve his posing game, she actually adored the way he just stood in front of the cameras and wasn't sure of doing what to do but smile.

She took her place in the carpet next to him, smiling as he placed his hand on the small of her back, touching her skin thanks to the backless dress. He then seemed to be a lot more calmed and collected, it was easier with her, not only posing on the carpet, everything. She'd always calmed him down and made him feel safe but he had never really told her that.

Gwen looked lovingly at him while he posed, observing his hair, his eyes, the little wrinkles from smiling, and finally, the sweet smile on his face; a smile immediately formed on her lips, unable to contain it, feeling her heart skip several beats as her chest being filled with happiness and love. She closed her eyes for a second and then turned to the cameras, posing.

After the showing of the movie, and some of the games the premier had, they decided to go to the after party, Gwen getting mentally ready to talk some more to the cast, crew and some other people of the business. She had already hitted it off with Andy, Jessica and Jay so she knew to look for them if she felt too lonely. Luckily, Bill knew her and kept an eye out in case her "shyness" became too much to handle, but in some point Bill had to go say hi to some people, leaving her alone, she said she was fine, which was true at that very moment, but then she turned to the bar, trying to relax a little.

Four glasses later she was tipsy so she decided to stop, and then she forgot and asked for a fifth drink. She was talking funny, luckily she wasn't talking much, but at least she didn't feel the constant pressure she always felt and, because of that, when some dude came to ask her to dance she said yes.

He danced closely and she was uncomfortable but the effect of the alcohol made it a bit difficult to express the discomfort, so she kind of stood there as the dude slightly groped her, making her feel much more uncomfortable by the second, sobering her up a bit. As she looked around for a familiar face or an excuse to get out, the guy had decided it was a good idea to put his hands on her hips and slid them slowly downwards.

Gwen froze, if she would've been sober she would've slapped the guy but she wasn't, so she was stuck in a trance of fear, shame and dizziness.

She left the dreadful trance as two big and familiar hands grabbed her waist getting her closer to Bill — I'm gonna need you to go man. — the rage in his voice was palpable but he kept a monotone voice with made him even more intimidating.

Bill was definitely capable of beating that guy in any fight, he was taller, more muscular and he really, really wanted to; but the guy, also being under the influence, didn't seemed to notice that, so he made a scene. He screamed a lot of "hey, dude" as he said how Bill had cut off his lucky nigh, insulting him up and down, and making a few observation on how hot Gwen was and that she was too much for him until he was escorted out. Bill barely made it without punching him, keeping his hands in fist, hoping for the man to step closer so he could sucker punch him, the only thing keeping him against it being Gwen; she kept her hand open on his chest, holding him back but also keeping herself steady. As they took the man away Bill changed his mindset, no longer angry but worried and concerned about Gwen.

— Are you ok? — he said, letting his hand rest on her cheek, sliding his thumb against her skin. She nodded, melting into his touch.

— I wanna go home. — she said, closing her eyes before grabbing his hand on her cheek and moving slightly to kiss his palm.

— Alright. — and that went home. He felt sick when they got to their place, really thinking what had happened and what could've happened, his hands forming fist again. On the other hand she looked at him as he was her savior, thing she always did but now wasn't hiding.

They both sat in bed and Gwen started doing massages on his shoulder to help him relax, leaving softly chaste kisses on his neck but all his mind could think of was on beating that guy up, keeping her safe.

So he didn't relax, frustrating Gwen. Bill could help her without her even asking him to, he just knew, he knew to be aggressive but not to start a fight, he knew how to make her feel safe and she couldn't even help him relax.

— I'm gonna to take a shower. — he said, Gwen stopping the massages on his neck.

— Want me to join you? — she said, about to stand up from the bed but he stopped her, turning around an leaving a hand on her shoulder.

— No, I- — she was shocked, unable to understand why he would say that — I'm ok.— he needed to cool down and he knew he didn't want her to see him as enraged as he was, he needed a little time to calm down.

Gwen laid in bed as he showered, doing nothing but thinking, the alcohol slowly fading away. She loved him so much, and he loved her too but she couldn't help but feel she loved more than he did, and that made her feel vulnerable. Sadly, the effects of the alcohol made her spiral down in a hole of rough and harsh thoughts, not only about herself but their relationship.

Minutes later Bill came out of the room, only a towel covering him. She looked to the ceiling, despite her previous offer, she wasn't in the mood — Ar- are you mad at me? — she let out, pain and some sort of fear had tainted her voice.

He laid next to her, worrisome, turning her head towards him — No, why would I? — he wondered analyzing her features as her frown scrunched and her mouth turned it's corners down.

— Because of that guy.

— That guy was an asshole. — he moved some of her hair behind her ear — He took advantage of you. Why would I be mad?

— I don't know. B-because I was drunk and said yes to dancing? I don't-

— You can be drunk at any party you want and dance with whoever you want. I know you'll let me take you home at the end of the night. — he smiled.

— I love you, Bill. — he smiled a bit, she always became more open about her feeling under the influence of alcohol or the lack of sleep, right now she was on both.

— I love you, too.

— No, no. I love you, way too much. More that you love me, a-and I'm not saying in a "you don't love me" way, I'm saying it as in "you'll stop loving me a bit more each day" because everyone does. I'm a mess and people grow tired. But it hurts more with you because I just- love you. — Bill looked at her, trying to understand where she was coming from and why she was saying that. She felt her heart ache and her stomach shrink, that was the most vulnerable she had ever been and she felt naked, unprotected but she kept going anyway, trying to leave her fears behind — I just do that, I love you and love you, and keep loving you. I- I don't care about anything else and that scares me. I just keep loving you. No matter what you do I'll keep loving you and that's not good. 'Cause you could hurt me whenever you want, in whatever way you want, and I would forgive you and keep loving you and that would only destroy me, but I would still fucking love you. — tears were falling from her eyes, damping the pillow her head was laying on. Bill was frozen, completely caught off guard by the whole situation — I can't do that. I- I don't want to risk that. I can't just- I can't be like my mom. — she cried out, dread in her voice as she softly shook her head, tears falling faster than before, soaking her face — She just adored my dad, no matter what he did, she loved him. She loved him more than she loved me or my brothers. No matter what. And he knew that, he- he took advantage of that and just did whatever the fuck he wanted and j-just fucked her up. And even after he left her, after he took every ounce of love she had, she kept loving him. And I- I know you're not like my dad, I know that, but I can't help but feel like I'm waiting for you to hurt me. Like I'm waiting for you to stop giving a fuck about me and start hurting me just for the sake of it. — her voice broke as she did, whimpers leaving her mouth as she covered her face with her hands — You're the best person I’ve ever met and I can’t tr- I can’t- — she tried to continue but her voice gave in one more time, leaving her speechless with nothing but a whimper on her throat — I'm sorry.

And he just held her. Letting her cry on his chest, his heart aching with every tear she spilled, with every hurted "I'm sorry" she cried out. He felt her brake under his grasp, feeling helpless and useless, unable to help her. And he couldn't do anything but to cry, his heart breaking for her. As he looked for some way to comfort her, to let her know she wouldn't be hurted.

— I don't want to ever hurt you, Gwen. — he finally said, almost whispering into her ear, slowly caressing her shoulder — I'm never gonna do that to you. I love you. And it sometimes scares me how much I love you, too, but I know you're not going to hurt me. You should know I am never going to hurt you, ok? — he took a shaky breath, holding her closer — I need you to trust me on that. I will never hurt you. — he vowed, pouring every inch of his heart and soul into those words.

— You promise? — she had stopped crying the minute he started to speak, still letting out a sob or two.

He smiled with relief and love, nodding softly — I swear. — he rocked softly back and forward, kissing her head a few times — Do you trust me?

— I do. I trust you, Bill.

She held him closer, letting her head rest against his chest and hearing his heartbeats as he laid kisses on the top of her hair; finally trusting him, finally trusting somebody.

[the-silentium]

Wait for me to come home Pt. 7

Masterlist  Part 6

Pairing: Eddie Brock x Reader, Venom x Reader

Warning: Angst, fluff

Words: 5160 Words

It can be really cruel how the unconscious plays with someone's mind. It takes your worst fear and turns it against you in a horrible nightmare or takes the thing you want the most in the world and gives it to you in an illusory dream. You enjoy that so realistic dream so much and lose yourself in it. But then the unavoidable moment to wake up finally strikes. All the fantasies crumble down and reality hits you with a harsh slap across your face. You were imagining what never happened. Your reality is so full of shit. 

That's what happened to you. Your brother did almost die by your boyfriend's hand. You did call Sebastian for assistance after expelling Venom out of your apartment. You did sleep next to your brother and wake up next to him. But your brother accepting the fact that your boyfriend is the host of an alien definitely didn't happen. In fact, he doesn't even know. Your call to Eddie that day to try to find a solution didn't happen, so is your intimate moment with the symbiote. All the good moments and all the progress were in the end just a bunch of bullshit your mind made up to make you last another day. 

The accident occurred 7 days ago. Aiden returned home the day after the event still unable to talk. He asked you to go with him but you refused. You had to argue with him for almost an hour before he finally gave up. He wrapped a scarf around his neck to hide the blue yellowish skin and drove home safely. No need to tell that you got a frantic call this same evening. Aiden's wife, Sarah, was so scared that Venom would come back for you and finish the job that she begged you to come to their house for some time. It took a lot of talking but you got to stay in your home with the promise to call them every evening. Now all you have to do is think about what to do next. And change your door. 

Because Venom exploded your door handle. Again. Plus, the door frame has a hole where the latch bolt should go, so the door didn't stay closed. Not feeling like fixing it at the moment, you bought 3 door locks and put them on. It wasn't the best option but you couldn't care less. Your dad would definitely laugh at your crappy work and take the matter in his hands but he wasn't here, so crappy work it is. 

You tried to call Eddie, but you always end on voicemail. You knew that you didn't do anything wrong, but you couldn't help yourself but feel guilty. You didn't know why you just know that the feeling kept weighing on your mind. You didn't get much sleep because your brain wouldn't let you a second off. It was weird. You had so many thoughts at the same time, but you felt so empty. 

————————————————————

The air conditioning hit you square in the face at the second the automatic door opens. You make your way in, waving at the security guard before getting in the elevator. You press the 15th-floor button without hesitation and close your eyes to muster up your strength to survive the day. Your only hope is that you will not see him at all. It hurts, even more, when you both glance at each other and he clearly goes out of his way to avoid you. You tried to corner him but you are no match with aliens supersense. He hears you coming from the other end of the building and disappears in a rush. 

Signing when the doors open, you put a smile on your face and starts the day with force. You wave at Kayla and goes for your office. You quickly send your last pictures to Sam and take in your new list. Easy ones. Yay. You fill some paperwork before grabbing your jacket and your camera. You double-check that your spare batteries are in the case before returning to the streets and hunt down your subjects. 

Few hours pass and your head is far away from your daily problems. You met some amazing people through your photoshoots and you return to the journal with new numbers in your contact list. On your way back, you meet Kayla and you both start to make plans for the week. You were both really excited for the new Lion King movie so you planned a movie night tomorrow night. What better than a Disney movie to return in your childhood and forget all about your adult worries?

Back at your office, a note is neatly written and lies on top of your keyboard. You immediately know who is the author because of the origami swan that keeps company to the little square of paper. Are you in for a little gala in my company? I would love to hear from you darling. We didn't see each other as much lately. I'll wait for your answer in my office.          -Kyle

You smile at the offer and immediately you want to say yes. Galas with Kyle are always interesting and enjoyable. What makes you hesitate though is that you have to pass Eddie's office to reach Kyle's. You breathe deeply, grab the little swan and reach the elevator. You smile to the people already in and press the 19th-floor button before trying to make yourself as little as possible. Your finger jump on your hips. Wow, the 4 floors that separate your two departments feel like an eternity today. 

Someone gets out at the 17th floor. Another one at the 18th. When the door on the 19th finally opens, you are tempted to stay in and enjoy the ride to the differents floors but people eye you like they know that this is your destination. You slowly step out and take in the calm atmosphere of the journalists area. People are typing at their computer, some are silently chatting in the break room while some others exchange opinions on an article. 

Your eyes are attracted towards a certain investigative reporter cubicle. Your heart skips a beat when you take in his tilted head. He looks too concentrated to notice your presence. Before tears drown your eyes you reach Kyle's office. You don't have time to knock that the door opens and his smiley face greets you. 

"Y/N! You are radiant as always dear!" He takes a step on the side to let you in.  

"Hi, Kyle. Thank you. You are pretty handsome yourself." You get in and take a seat in one of the two chairs in front of his desk. He sits in the other and faces you, letting the door open. "So, we are going to a gala?" 

His hands join together in a satisfied motion. "So will you be my other half for tonight?" 

Short notice. Again. Journalism sucks sometimes but hey, you got to pass your time with the most gentleman being that ever existed. "You know I love this kind of event." You put your elbows on your knees and smile mockingly at him. "So, details?" 

Kyle reaches for a file on his desk. A very primitive part of you feels eyes on your neck. You get a bit uncomfortable and shift in your seat. You have a good idea of who's watching you but you can't help but scratch your neck in discomfort. The feeling passes soon after that and you release a breath you didn't know you were holding. 

"The gala is organized by…" 

————————————————————

Eddie tuned out his friend. His right finger is taping uncontrollably on the desk while his eyes glare at the screen without seeing it. To hell his article. He already had a hard time concentrating when you weren't there, now that you are, his guilt resurfaced. With it is now mixed jealousy. 

You are once again paired with Kyle for a dressed-up event. You will dress for him and not them. You will dance with him, not them. He will be able to see you smile, but not them. Oh, how they miss it. How much they want to hold you in their arms again. How much they want to feel your lips on theirs. Your absence really weights on the symbiote and his host. 

Sure, Eddie refused your calls at first. His guilt was eating him alive and he was so scared that all you wanted to do was scream at them and ultimately end your relationship. It was understandable. He hurt you by hurting your brother and the fear in your eyes when Venom reached for you... it still haunted the symbiote. 

They didn't get much sleep the first day. They were too worried to rest or eat. It was a first. Venom didn't bug his host for food for a whole day. The second day has been really hard though. They were both lacking sleep and food. The cocktail resulted in a dozen of missing robbers, muggers and assholes. At the end of the night, when they felt like they drained all their frustration, they stealthily went to your window and watched you sleep for some time. Your brother must have returned home because he was nowhere to be seen and his sent was faint. You whimpered in your sleep causing Venom to unlock and open your window slightly. He wanted to comfort you like he always did but Eddie stopped him. You were better without them he said. They would only bring problems to you. Reluctantly, the alien took a step back and returned amongst the shadows. It broke him to let you behind but his host was most experienced than him in these situations.

Venom knew he did something bad to you and all he wanted was to apologize. Every time Eddie calls him a parasite, things go back to normal when he apologizes, so this situation is no different, right? Error, apology, back to normal. Easy really. But Eddie's stubbornness to stay away from you is complicating Venom's plan and is seriously starting to weight on his nerves. He misses you and his host won't do anything to repair the situation. 

Right now, the journalist can't help himself. He stares at your form and feels the symbiote move beneath his skin. It reassures him to know that the symbiote was still watching and not lurking in the pit of his body. They both fell in a quiet routine since Eddie burst Venom's bubble about their probably ended relationship with you. 

"I'll pick you up at 7." Kyle's voice forces Eddie back to reality. He doesn't have to turn his head to know that the male has an arm on the small of your back. The low hiss resonating in him tells him all he has to know. 

Ours. Venom low growl makes Eddie clench his jaw. 

Not anymore. 

You don't know for sure. You avoided her like a pussy. 

Shut up. Us falling apart… It's the natural way of things after what we've done. 

That's stupid. 

That's the truth. 

"Perfect." Your melodic voice gives goosebump to the brunette. "I'll be ready. See you tonight Kyle." The smile in your voice makes Venom's jealousy reach a peak. 

Eddie has to grab his desk with both hands to keep the symbiote in check. His knuckles had turned white by the time you reached the elevator and your smell disappeared with you. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was keeping and Venom settles a bit. 

We have a bad feeling about this gala, Eddie.

You are just jealous because she's not going with us. 

Eddie fells a low rumble shake his body. It is not jealousy. It is something more. 

Humming, Eddie tried to concentrate on his article again. Not to avail. The Venom's feeling was perturbing him too. He really wished that it was jealousy and nothing else. 

————————————————————

19:08. Venom couldn't stay in place and has been chanting hungry hungry hungry for the past 20 minutes. Finally giving up, Eddie let his other take control but he had to promise to not approach the neighborhood of the gala. Grunting, Venom still engulfs his host and gets out of the apartment by the window. The fresh air of the evening invigorates the black alien. He swings through the air from building to building and stops only when your apartment building come to view. He stops on a nearby rooftop and pays attention to what's happening. Your lights are off, windows closed and your camera isn't on its usual spot. 

Disappointed, Venom returns to a more troublesome neighborhood with a goal in mind. Fill his stomach while keeping an eye out for you. The feeling in his gut keeps him on edge and every little sound catches his attention. 

It doesn't take long for him to find his first meal. A scream brings him to an alley where two men cornered a woman and forced themselves on her. Protectiveness flood through Venom making him barge in the scene like fire was surrounding him. He makes a quick job of biting the head off the first guy and proceeds to pass his anger on the second. He starts to beat the shit out of him, throwing him on the brick walls, crushing his leg under his own foot and terrorizing him with his toothy maw. When an unpleasant smell of urine reaches Venom's nostrils, he decides that the game is over. He finishes quickly in two bites and takes a moment to calm himself down when a hand touches his forearm. His head shot toward the source, baring his fangs, ready to attack.

The woman flinches, fear all over her face. The feeling of déjà-vu freezes the symbiote. At her place, he sees you standing there, scared of him. He immediately hides his fangs and retrieves his taloned hands from near you. He even takes a step backward before the woman speaks up. 

"Th-thank you for saving me." She shakes a little but stands her ground. Her hands move to grab the opposite upper arm in a self hug manner. 

Venom relax a little and crouch a bit, wanting to be a little less intimidating. The woman takes it as an invitation perhaps, because she moves forward and delicately touches his right cheek. It triggers a feeling the symbiote has been experiencing in the past days. He didn't like it one bit. The silent ache in his heart whenever something reminds him of you. The missing warmth on his skin every time you would merely brush at him. 

For days Venom wondered what caused the emptiness in him. He knew for sure that there was no physical hole, he searched for one 3 times. He tried to ask Eddie about it but only got silence as an answer. He tried searching on his host's computer. The thing always seemed to have all the answers to Eddie's questions. Only, the symbiote was met with a vocabulary he didn't understand one bit. Human emotions. 

Tonight, though, he finally understood what was wrong. The little spark in his chest was gone. Your spark. He always thought that you were the one who put it there and it made him feel special. Eddie had one too, of course, but now that Venom thinks about it, both of them are missing. 

His heartbeat skyrockets when panic takes him over. You took your sparks back?  Was it too late to apologize and make things better? The delicate touch on his cheek was now burning him causing him to take a few steps back. No one can touch him like that. Only you. He only wants your spark, no one else's. 

He turns on his heels and climbs the building next to him. You. He needs to see you and make things better. He ran from building to building at first and change to web-slinging when he decided that it wasn't fast enough. Now. He needs you now. 

Eddie is confused in the black armor that is the symbiote. One moment, he felt guilty and then hell break loose. A tornado of emotions consumed him and his heartbeat is uncontrollable. He tried to talk to the symbiote, tried to calm him down, asked what was wrong, but never get an answer. He could only stay in the backseat and watch. 

Again, the bad feeling they both felt when Kyle invited you to the gala plague their minds. Something was wrong. It wasn't jealousy. It was instinct. A 600 million years advanced instinct that told them to hurry their asses. 

Venom pushes himself harder when his destination appears in his line of vision. He lands heavily on a rooftop adjacent and jumps to the edge. His eyes widen when he takes in the scene taking place in front of them. Multiple police cars block the entry of the building, agents rushing to evacuate the street, 4 ambulances on standby waiting for injured and the SWAT team preparing themselves for an assault. 

This couldn't be happening. They promised to protect their little one. They failed. Twice. They need to get you out of there because they need you. And they need you now. 

Just wait a second budy. We need info. 

No we don’t.

Yes we do. You can’t just barge in like that. There may be a bomb or somethin’ and a lot of people can die if we don’t do it correctly. The black alien lets out a huff and gets down of his hiding place. He stays in the shadows and concentrates on hearing the briefing of the SWAT.

"-round 200 hostages on the 37th floor. We know for sure that there are 5 kidnappers, but there may be more. The first contact allowed us to know that there are wounded, but no deaths so far." A weight lifted from Eddie. No death. They still have a chance to get you out of there. "They are organized and have no desire to surrender. As soon as they find what they are looking for, they’ll go out in a bloodbath, so we have to neutralize them before-" 

A guttural roar escapes the symbiote and he lounges forward, scaring the shit out of the tactical team. He gets a hold of the thin brick portion of the building and starts climbing at a fast rhythm. Counting as fast as he could, Eddie prevents his other went he needs to slow his pace. Surprisingly, the SWAT didn’t open fire on them like Eddie had thought they are merely shouting orders to accelerate the assault. It’s the next floor. Stay hidden. 

Following his host’s instructions, Venom slowly gets near the edge of the window and analyze the situation. 1,2,3..7 kidnappers. All equipped with automatic rifle, kevlar vest, and tactical masks. No explosives insight. The hostages are all scattered around the room on their knees, head low and most of them are shaking. The wounded are crowded in the far corner of the room, near the entrance. Venom passes all their face in check and is relieved to see that you are not one of them. 

Deciding that now is the best moment to eat heads, Venom shoots a web over the top edge of the window, jump backward and use gravity to enter the room in an explosion of glass shards. Many people scream and rush away from him. Cautious to not hurt any civilian, Venom force his passage by pushing the slower out of his way and get to the nearer bad guy. He only has time to scream and shoot one bullet at him that his head is already missing and his body falls limp on the floor. More screams reach the alien’s ears joined with multiple impacts of bullets. Venom quickly jumps toward another attacker and throw him across the room on another bad guy. They both fly together for a few feets before hitting the ground et meeting a horrible toothy jaw seconds later. 3 down, 4 to go. 

Unfortunately, the 4 others prepared themselves. Each one of them got a civilian in front of them with their rifle aimed for the head. You are one of them. Eddie’s blood runs cold and Venom freezes. Your peachy dress is covered in blood on almost all its entirety, tears run down your face and your right ankle is swollen. 

"Don’t move or their brains will redo the deco." 

A low growl erupted from his chest when his eyes shrink to thin lines. The man is too far for him to neutralize. If he makes a move, you’ll be dead before he reaches you. They can’t think of a way to get you out of here alive and it rises their distress. Your eyes met his and you try to smile at them. It brokes them even further. You look like you accepted your fate already and you are saying your goodbyes. God bless Venom’s sharp sight, the subtle movement behind the man threatening your life catches his attention. A dark-haired man slowly gets on his feet in a crouched position and nod to someone on his right. In his peripheral vision, Venom sees 3 other men doing the same and approaching slowly the kidnappers. 

Idiots. Braves. They both think at the same time. The black-haired man silently lifts his hand and show his palm to the others in a waiting motion. Then, he points the alien and Eddie is quick to catch his intentions. They need a distraction. And one they will get. He waits for the good samaritans to watch for his move and then he breathes deeply and makes the biggest roar he ever made. Just when they jump in surprise do the 4 civilians jump for the rifles and fight for it. In a millisecond, your captor loses his head and the other 3 receives the same treatment. 

Panting from the mix of fear and action, Venom takes a second to compose himself and turns to where you should be. The room is completely silent, no one sob, no one scream, no one cry. Everyone is watching him closely, waiting for his next move. You are on the floor, the dark-haired man checking you over. Now that Venom concentrates on him, he realizes that your good samaritan is Kyle. 

When the journalist sees your sight fixed on something behind his back, he turns around and puts himself between you and the symbiote. Eddie is relieved that you have a friend who would fight for you as much as he would do. Without being your boyfriend. That's his job. 

All Venom can think of at the moment is push Kyle aside, scoop you in his arms and return home to cuddle your body all night. That's when he remembers the blood covering you. Refraining his urge to just follow his plan, he tilts his head to meet your gaze. 

"Are you alright?" 

You nod and tighten your grip on what Eddie thinks is Kyle's jacket. 

"I'm fine. Thank you for saving us." Your voice is shaking a bit, but the sincerity on your face tell them that you really are okay. Kyle's strong arms wrap around your shoulders while he moves to be at your side and his eyes meet Venom's. 

"Thank you for saving us." His strong tone travels around the room and soon enough, a choral of "thank you" flood the symbiote and his host's ears. Never before did they receive such a big positive reaction to what they do. 

The moment abruptly comes to an end when the SWAT team barges in the room. Giving a glance at your form one last time, Venom turns on his heels and quickly make his exit by the broken window he came from. Policemen were still running the street and shouts could be heard when some of them spotted the symbiote. 

They didn't even try to follow him, concentrating their forces on the task at hand. Venom find a dark alley and returns back into his host. Still feeling the adrenaline in his vein, the brunette starts a sprint toward the scene and stops at the police barrier. They didn't evacuate the hostages yet. 

The journalist analyzes the barrier for a weak spot he could use to break in and meet you when you get out. Not too far from him is an abstracted policeman who is more interested in his phone than his job. Perfect. He approaches stealthily and waits for your appearance. 

1 minute later, the first hostages start to get out of the building. 5 more minutes and Eddie can see you being carried bridal style by the dark-haired journalist. Quickly, Eddie passes under the yellow tape, jumps the wooden barrier and avoid the policeman who finally got off his phone. He runs as fast as he could, helped by his symbiote. 

Your gaze found theirs and you talk to your friend. He puts you down a second before Eddie reaches you and hugs you tightly. His head finds the crook of your neck when yours meet his chest. Venom is undulating under Eddie's skin, restraining himself to wrap you in his black tendrils. You start sobbing, making their heart clench. He releases his grip on you and analyzes your body for some injury. 

"I-I'm f-fine Ed. Just my ankle." You manage to say between your sobs. 

Sure enough, your ankle is swollen and a shade of deep blue started forming. 

"The blood is from someone else." Came the voice of your friend. "Darling here saved someone's life." He pats your shoulder and smile at them. He looks terribly tired. 

Eddie looks down and sees the same tiredness in your eyes. He takes you bridal style, your arms wrap themselves around his neck and your head find the side of his neck. 

"I'll get you checked on by a paramedic and we can go home, okay?" 

"I'm fine, really." The event really took its toll on you, because your voice becomes heavy with sleep. 

"I'll feel better if you get checked on." He can feel your nod on his skin and carry you near an ambulance. 40 minutes later, you are now on your way home after dropping Kyle at his first. The cab comes to a stop in front of Eddie's apartment building. 

"C-Can I stay at your place?" You ask him with a little shaky voice. "My door isn't the best description of safe at the moment."

Eddie pays the driver, gets out and take you out of the car in his arms without effort.

"Your place wasn't even an option. You stay with us." Now that nobody was around, thin black lines start to form around your form and keep you steady against your boyfriend. 

"I'm sorry." They almost didn't hear you whisper in their neck. 

"Sorry for what?" He frowns, trying to fit the key in the keyhole, but give up and let the symbiote do the job. 

"For what happened in my apartment." If it wasn't for Venom's head snuggling yours, they wouldn't have heard you. 

"Nothing is your fault little one." His head stops moving against yours and holds your gaze. "We should have analyzed the situation before jumping to conclusion." He licks your left cheek. 

You smile at him and the symbiote starts purring. Eddie finally enters the apartment and takes all of you in the bathroom. He puts you down on the closed lid of the toilet and starts running a hot bath. 

"Wait here." He quickly moves to the kitchen, takes a bag of ice from the freezer and get back to you. Your eyes are closed and your breathing is even. You look asleep, but your eyes open when you hear them. Eddie crouches and cautiously takes your bad foot in his hands. You wince but keep silent. He applies the ice on your ankle and you sigh. 

When the bath is almost full, he stops the water and helps you undress before you get in. They stay at your side and both symbiote and host start to wash your body. They are sure that you fell asleep, but your voice breaks the silence. 

"Venom, I'm sorry for burning you." Opening your eyes seems difficult, but you manage. The symbiote licks your cheek while tendrils start massaging your back. 

"We forgive you little one. We understand why you did it." 

Tears start to run down your cheeks. Your hands slowly lift to cradle Venom's right cheek and Eddie's left cheek. 

"I love you both."

Eddie's lips meet yours and moves in sync. You stay there for as long as you could before your need for oxygen make you pull back. 

"We love you too," Eddie whispers against your lips. 

When you started to feel too tired for the bath, they both take you out, dry you with towels and carry you to bed. There, you snuggle to Eddie's chest, black goo wrapping your form almost completely. 

"Are we your boyfriends again?" He sounded nervous. 

"Did we stopped being in a relationship?" You genuinely ask. 

"Eddie said that us falling apart was the natural way of things after what we did." 

You snort. "That's just stupid." 

"That's what I said!" Now, he sounds so satisfied with himself. He puts his head on the crook of your neck. 

"Hey, I felt guilty for what happened." 

He heard that your brother was okay. No permanent damage. He felt better, but still, shame and guilt plagued his heart. 

"My brother is fine, I'm fine, so there is nothing to worry about. You know, we could have talked about this instead of ignoring each other." 

More shame. Damn, he was such an idiot. At the thought, Venom starts purring. 

"Yes you are." 

Not helping dude. You laugh at their silent exchange and pet the symbiote. 

"Oh, Venom." You start. Said symbiote lift his head to meet your gaze. "You really improved your roar. I'm sure the other end of San Francisco heard it." You chuckle. 

Pride fills the alien and a huge smile forms on his face. 

"Thanks for being my hero." You say before taking his head in both hands and kiss his mouth. 

Venom is stunned at first, his eyes widening. Then he regains control of himself and starts to move what would be his lips with yours. If possible, his purr loudens and his black mass starts to wriggle. 

You laugh and pull away. His head, without support, fell on your chest and seems to melt a little. Eddie chuckles and pulls you in for a kiss. 

Venom didn't sleep that night. He was too occupied enjoying the feeling of your body against his and replay your kiss in his head. He loved how you called him your hero. But most of all, he enjoyed the feeling of the little spark in his and his host's chest. 

Tag list: @slither-in-a-half @a-frozen-bag-of-corn  @noshi-chan

[kayteewritessteve]

If Only You Knew - 7/19

Description: You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him, and everything else that happened on that horrible night. Who would have knew that your prom would end up being a total disaster, and the very last night you’d spend in Buckhannon for the next 7 years? you certainly didn’t. That’s for sure.

Catch up HERE.

Word Count: 6,970 ish.

Pairing: Modern!Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence. Drinking. Bad and offensive jokes. Possible triggering thoughts, feelings and emotions. Moments of bullying and harsh name calling. Lots of curse words. And a very sloooow burn.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

July 2018 - Present

You woke up bright and early, the morning sun shining in through your bedroom windows. It took you a few minutes to fully remember exactly where you were. Home. You were back home in Buckhannon.

You sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, then stretched high above your head. Your eyes scanning the room you weren’t sure you’d ever see again. It was surreal, being back here, in this room, and in this town. You pulled yourself out of bed and headed to the bathroom, you needed a shower in the worst way. Plus today was Nat’s bridal shower, normally they weren’t this close to the actual wedding day, but when you had RSVP’d she cancelled the original shower so that you could attend. You had both planned most of this week out, it’s why you flew into town so early. She had postponed as many pre-wedding events as she could, making for a very busy week, but you both figured that would be best for you. Help keep you busy and distracted.

Though you hadn’t been home in 7 years, you had very much kept in contact with the girls, Sam and Clint. But not so much Bucky as he was Steve’s oldest best friend, and you just didn’t feel right putting him in the middle of all of this, in the middle of you and Steve. So you took a step back from him, friendship wise, though Nat continued to keep you informed as to how Bucky was doing.

In the beginning, shortly after you’d left town, Nat would question you on your ‘current situation’—as she liked to call it—with Steve, and often. Also asking if you planned to contact him anytime soon. At first your anger wouldn’t allow you to contact him, but then anger turned to pride and you found yourself at a stalemate, internally. As much as you wanted to contact him, to mend fences and salvage what you could, you also couldn’t allow yourself to. He had hurt you more than anyone else ever had, and you weren’t sure if you could forgive him for that. At least not without a lot of time and effort.

So after a few months, you finally asked Nat to stop questioning you about Steve, to stop trying to update you on his life and how he was. You just couldn’t take hearing about him so often, it was making moving on from what had happened much, much harder. The constant reminder that you had lost your best friend, and that you’d probably never get him back was too much. She was frustrated with you at first but finally relented and accepted that this was just how you needed it to be. So then your friendship with her turned into just that—your friendship with her. She told you about her life, Bucky, your other friends and Buckhannon. But left any mention of Steve out, entirely. Which you were very thankful for. She had come up to visit you with Hilde and Wanda a few times over the years, they’d spend a week or so with you, then head back home. A couple of times Clint or Sam would tag along, but never Bucky. Him and Steve were a package deal, and you respected that fully.

Your mind began remembering your run in from the day before. You had thought about what it would be like to see Steve again, more than a few times over the years, but they always played out or ended the same way in your head. It would be awkward, uncomfortable and would probably end up in another full blown fight, the years of going without closure bubbling up and out, all at once.

But that was not at all how it played out in real life. Yes, it had started off awkward but then after the initial shock wore off, the mood shifted entirely. It turned to feeling like there hadn’t been any time lost, like the last 7 years had never happened. Like prom had never happened. You both just slipped effortlessly right back into your old ways, joking and poking fun at each other, just like before. That was not how you’d envisioned that moment going, at all.

Then you’d talked over text, and it was the same exact thing, it started awkward but then you both fell right back into step with each other.

Which was both amazing and horrible, all at the same time. Here you were spending the last 7 years dreading these moments, fearing they would be miserable and painful. So much so that you avoided them like the plague, avoided putting yourself in them entirely. But for what? Had you really spent 7 years afraid for nothing? Wasted 7 years avoiding this town for absolutely nothing? Fuck. You groaned at the realization of all the potential wasted time.

You were now all done your shower and headed into your room to get ready for the bridal party. You had bought a beautiful knee length dress for the shower, with heels and a clutch to match.

Once you were dressed, makeup done up just the way you liked and your hair pulled up into a high ponytail, you headed downstairs to wait for Hilde and Wanda to come pick you up. Your dad had needed the truck that morning so you’d planned this with them the night before. Your phone pinged almost the second you got to the bottom of the stairs, seeing a text from Wanda ‘We’re here!!’

You quickly checked that you had everything then headed outside, locking the door and making your way to the car. You climbed into the backseat, and then the three of you quickly appraised each other on your ensembles, before taking off towards the Buckhannon Country Club, where the party was being held.

You’d learned in high school that Nat’s parents had been very well off, that is until they both tragically passed away when their private plane went down over the Atlantic. She was just a kid at the time so she ended up in the care of her Aunt Maria, her mother's sister, and her only living relative.

The day Nat turned 18 she was signed over her inheritance and took over all the families properties and holdings, though as she was still young, most of it was tied up in trusts. She couldn’t touch any of it without her bank trustee and Aunt both signing off. That is until she turned 21, then she gained full access, which included the families life long membership at the Country Club.

The car pulled up out front of the Club and a chauffeur took Hilde’s keys then you all headed inside. You had forgotten just how massive the Country Club was, and how stunning the grounds were. You had only been here once before, for Nat’s birthday party your first year in town. Her Aunt had set it up as she believed it would be easier to keep control of the large group of teens. Especially if they were in a public place, one where most of the kids parents had memberships to and where their decorum mattered. Plus the alternative was, most likely, a raging house party, full of drunk disorderly young adults. Which, yeah, that would have been impossible to keep an handle on.

Hilde, Wanda and yourself followed the white and gold ‘This way’ signs through the massive building, until you finally entered into a large formal dining room, clearly used for gatherings such as this.

The room was filled with a bunch of familiar faces, all girls you had gone to school with—Or rather, woman, as they were all now.

As you entered the room a hush fell over the air, every pair of eyes in the room turning to stare at you. As if you were a fiction of their imagination and they were just waiting for you to vanish into thin air. You found yourself frozen in place, till someone cleared their throat, and your head snapped over to see Nat walking towards you. She outstretched her arms and pulled you into a comforting hug, whispering, “just ignore the gawking horde, they will get over your return shortly.”

You giggled softly as she pulled back from the hug then moved on to welcome both Hilde and Wanda. Once they had said their hello’s you felt a hand take yours, looking down at the contact then back up at Wanda. Who was now smiling reassuringly at you as she lightly squeezed your hand. You smiled back and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to which she just smiled and nodded. She knew you far too well. She started to walk away with Hilde, dragging you along with them as they began to look for your seats.

The party was going well, you had chatted with the few ladies around you, catching up and explaining little bits about your life, and where you were living now. Everyone kept it fairly civil and no one brought up the past. For which you were very thankful. But then the doors opened and you looked up to see who was arriving late, your eyes landed on a white blonde entering the room, flanked by two brunettes. Madi, Kiara and Penelope.

Your blood instantly began to boil in your veins as your eyes narrowed in her direction. Then, once again, you felt Wanda take your hand, knowing exactly what you were feeling in this moment. You snapped your eyes away from the three woman and they landed on Nat, who looked just about as pissed off as you felt, she locked eyes with you and mouthed, ‘Mother fucker.’

You chuckled at that then heard Hilde mumble beside you, “Fucking she-witch.”

You bit the inside of your lip in an attempt to stifle any further laughing, not wanting to cause a scene. But Hilde’s use of the nickname you all had for Madi in high school, was not only hilariously unexpected, but also brought back a bunch of old memories, some good ones, yes. But most bad.

And one of those memories was the first time you had ever heard the nickname. It was shortly after your first run in with Madeleine. Which had not gone well…

November 2010 - 8 Years ago.

You had woken up late today, thanks to staying up late to finish a science project with Clint and Sam. You probably could have finished earlier had it just been one of them with you, but both of them at the same time? Yeah, not an easy task—No, that’s an understatement, together they were damn near impossible to wrangle in and get focused. They fed off each other and were like small children when put together, constantly needing to be refocused and pushed to pay attention. You were regretting picking them as your partners, but at the same time, you couldn’t actually be upset with either of them. They’d just give you their damn puppy dog eyes and you’d melt, every time. And they both knew it.

And on top of that, Steve would normally have been there to wake you up on time, but he’d had to go to an early morning dentist appointment, so you were in charge of getting to school on your own today.

So being that you were late for class and ridiculously exhausted from your lack of sleep. You’d jumped out of bed in such a haste, realizing you were late, that you had got caught up in your bedding and plummeted to the floor. After righting yourself, you’d quickly grabbed the first clothes you could find, brushed your teeth and then ran out the front door.

You finally reached the school, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a loose t-shirt that was not flattering at all. And you probably looked like a zombie with no makeup on and large bags under your eyes. But you were here and almost on time, which is what really mattered—Or at least that’s what you told yourself as you quickly put your bag in your locker and grabbed your books. The halls were basically deserted at this point, all the students now being in class.

“Y/N, is it?” You heard a female voice from behind you, causing you to jump and spin around to come face to face with Steve’s ex. Madeleine. Smiling sweetly at you.

“Ah, yeah. Y/N,” you said quickly then took a deep breath to steady your racing heart. “And you’re Madi?”

“Madeleine, yes.”

“Oh,” you shut your locker, clutching your books to your chest. “I’m sorry. Madeleine,” you corrected.

She just nodded and waved it off, “it’s okay. You’ll learn.”

“Uh, yeah,” you said slowly as you furrowed your brows, slightly confused by what she meant by that. “Anyway, I have to get to class.” You spun around and started to head towards your morning class.

“Oh,” she said quickly. “Then it’s a good thing I caught you, we are in a different room this morning.” She walked towards you. “Something about our normal room needing to be cleaned, or something,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

You froze then turned to fully look at her, brows still furrowed. Something about this made you uneasy, you couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but something just felt off. “You aren’t in my first class?” You asked, though it was less of a question and more of an observation. Thinking out loud even.

“Actually, I am,” she nodded, “I just haven’t been here since school started.”

That made the memory click, you had overheard Bucky and Nat talking about how Madeleine had been pulled out of school to visit her dad. Something about a custody battle and her mother refusing to allow her to visit her dad over the summer. So lawyers had to get involved and she was sent to spend 2 months with her father. Supposedly that was the reason she had talked to Steve on the first day of class, she was telling him she’d have to leave. Most likely hoping he’d miss her or want to get back together with her. However that was the last thing he wanted, you knew that for a fact. And he hadn’t even brought her up once since she’d been gone. But as it appeared, she was back now.

“Well, welcome back,” you smiled awkwardly at her. “So where is the classroom this morning?”

You had only just managed to get a lay of the land, where your current classes were concerned, the last thing you needed was those rooms being moved around. And without your trusty ‘personal school map’ anywhere in sight.

“I’ll show you,” she offered and you just stared at her for a moment, something still felt off but you had no reason to actually doubt her motives, aside from your friends sheer dislike of her. But you tried to be someone who made their own opinions of people, so you decided to accept her offer.

“Okay, that would be great. Thank you.”

She led you down the hall, and up to a normal unassuming door. Then she froze, “oh shoot!” She shuffled through the few books in her hand, “I totally forgot my course book,” she groaned. Then motioned to the door, “okay, well that is it, I have to run back to my locker, but I’ll see you in there!” She said as she spun around and started to walk back down the hall, the same way you both had just come from.

You watched as her form receded, once again furrowing your brows at her. But then you shrugged to yourself and slowly opened the door, finding it pitch black on the other side. But as you were about to turn and exit back to the hall, confused, you felt a hand shove you further into the dark room then the door slammed shut, hearing a clicking sound right after it did. Leaving you now standing entirely in the pitch black, you swung around and grabbed for the door handle. Finding it after a few seconds of blindly feeling around for it. You pulled on the handle but the door didn’t budge, clearly it was now locked.

“Hello?” You yelled as you banged on the door, “this isn’t funny!!” then you fumbled around to find a light switch, which took longer than you’d liked, as you were never a fan of the dark. Actually, that was an understatement, you hated the dark, it was your biggest fear.

Once you finally flicked the lights on, you turned around to survey the room, quickly realizing it was a janitor's closet before turning back to bang on the door again. “Hello!? Is anyone out there!?”

You put your ear to the door to listen for any noise coming from the other side but were met with silence. All the students and teachers being in class, where you were currently supposed to be also. Fuck. How could you have fallen for her bullshit. You knew, you fucking knew she was up to something. You felt it in your bones but you stupidly ignored it and gave her the benefit of the doubt, believing she was a decent person. But clearly that was wrong, she was a bitch. You should have listened to your friends.

You sighed then turned around and banged the back of your head on the door, before you slid down it to sit in the floor, hoping you’d hear someone walking by soon. Any other time you’d have had your phone on you, but during class you left it in your locker as to not get it confiscated. So here you were, locked in a closet, with no way of contacting anyone. Shit.

After what felt like hours but was probably only about 45 minutes, being that that was how long you knew was still left of the morning class, you finally heard the bell signalling the end of first block. You quickly stood up and started to pound on the door again. “Hello!! Can someone let me out!?”

The hall was so loud with students talking and laughing, and the sounds of their footsteps echoing that you weren’t sure anyone would even hear you, but you’d be damned if you’d spend the whole day locked in this stupid fucking room. So you continued to pound on the door and yell in the hopes someone, anyone, would hear your pleads.

“Y/N?” You heard muffled through the door, recognizing the voice instantly. Bucky.

“Oh my god!” You shouted, relieved, “Buck!”

You heard the door handle jiggle but nothing happened. “It’s locked.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” you replied dryly.

“Hey, no need for the sass or I’ll leave you in there,” he laughed.

“I’m sorry,” you said sincerely, “please just get me out of here!”

“Hang on, I’ll go get a teacher,” he said then you heard heavy footsteps running away.

After a few more minutes you heard voices right outside the door again, then the beautiful sound of the lock un-clicking, signalling your rescue. The door opened to reveal Vice Principal Coulson and all of your friends—well all of them except Steve.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Mr. Coulson started as he crossed his arms, “how did you get locked in the janitors closet?”

You stepped out of the room, “I thought it was a classroom.” Not a lie.

“This door can only be locked with a key, so how did you manage to get yourself locked in?”

You shrugged, knowing that you couldn’t tell him how you actually got locked in, as that would only paint a larger bullseye on you with Madeleine. “Sheer dumb luck?”

He narrowed his eyes at you, “did someone lock you in the closet on purpose?”

You shook your head, “not that I know of.”

You could tell he wasn’t buying it and as you looked passed him, you saw all your friends standing there, clearly not buying it either. He sighed then levelled you with a stern look, “well, if you happen to remember who locked you in there, come see me. We don’t tolerate bullying in this school Miss Y/L/N, and whoever is behind this needs to be reprimanded.”

You nodded, “Of course, sir. But don’t hold your breath, I didn’t actually see who locked me in there, and I don’t foresee that changing.”

He stared at you for a few seconds more then nodded as he spun around and walked away. Once he was out of sight your friends encircled you, all with their arms crossed.

“Spill it,” Nat commanded.

“Who actually locked you in there?” Wanda asked.

“We know that you know who did it,” Bucky added.

You sighed, “it honestly doesn’t matter—“

“Bullshit,” Sam shook his head, vehemently. “No one fucks with our Y/N and gets away with it.”

“Yeah, who do we need to beat up for this?” Hilde asked, sounding far too serious about the prospect of getting revenge for you.

“Seriously, it’s not that big of a deal you guys. I learned a valuable lesson today and won’t make the same mistake, ever again,” you sighed.

But just then Madi, Kiara and Penelope walked by, snickering to themselves as they did. Madi glaring right at you, “glad to hear you finally came out of the closet, Y/N. At least you actually had the courage to do it, unlike little Wanda over there.” She smirked and looked at Wanda, who was now glaring at her with her fists clenched at her sides.

Clint took Wanda's hands in his and pulled her into a tight hug, trying to calm her down, “ignore her, she just said that to hurt you.”

Years before you moved to town, Wanda’s twin brother Pietro had tragically died when he was struck by a drunk driver, while out training for a marathon one night. He had been the star of the schools track and field team, but on top of that he had been Wanda’s rock, her best friend, and his death had affected her on a level that you’d never be able to understand. She had gone completely off the deep end and started acting out, and rebelling.

But then at a party a few months after his death, she had ended up making out with some random girl, and someone had managed to get pictures of it, only being able to make out Wanda in the photos but not the other chick. So then it snowballed from there, as a bunch of kids in the school had started a rumor that she was into girls, and she had never been able to shake the claim. Even though you all knew she was very much into boys, and was just hurting and experimenting at the time. But even if she was into girls, there should have been no problem with that, she should have been more then allowed to like whoever the hell she wanted. This was the 21st century after all. Though no one in this small conservative town seemed to care about that. And once she was labelled as different, no one saw her any other way. Besides your little group of friends.

“You stupid,” Nat growled as she abruptly turned to grab at Madi but Bucky wrapped his arms around her waist to stop her in her tracks. “Babe, she isn’t worth it,” he whispered.

“Like hell she isn’t,” Hilde was also pissed now, and was about to charge at Madi, but Sam stepped in front of her, putting his hands up and stopping her in her tracks.

“Breathe, Hilde. Breathe,” Sam said soothingly.

This all just caused Madi to throw her head back and cackle as her and her friends walked away. Hilde pushed Sam back, shooting daggers at him with her eyes, “Why did you stop me! You should have let me hit her!”

“She isn’t worth it, and you would only get in more shit then she would!” He glared right back at her, “don’t let her get to you.” He then glanced over at Nat, who was still being held in place by Bucky, “either of you.”

Hilde just continued to glare at him then spun on you next, “she did it, didn’t she!?”

You awkwardly rubbed the back of your neck and looked anywhere other than at her, knowing the fire in her eyes would instantly make you cave.

But then Nat extracted herself from Bucky’s arms and walked right up to you, grabbing your shoulders, “tell us the trust, Y/N.”

You sighed then locked eyes with Nat. “Yes, she did it,” you said quietly.

“That little fucking she-witch!” Wanda piped up as she pulled from Clint’s embrace now.

“I’m gonna fucking kill her,” Hilde growled.

“Not if I get to her first,” Nat seethed.

“No you aren’t,” Bucky said with a sigh as he grabbed Nat’s waist again to pull her back into him, then wrapped his arms around her upper body, pinning her arms to her sides. “Neither of you are,” he shot Hilde a pointed look then nuzzled his face into Nat’s neck, clearly whispering something to her. If her face softening and a smirk breaking out on her lips as she nodded slowly, was anything to go on.

“Oh, get a room already,” Clint mumbled which caused Bucky and Nat to glare daggers at him, making him shift awkwardly in place. “Did I say that out loud?” He whispered looking between Wanda, Sam, Hilde and you, which made you all burst out laughing before nodding your answer and causing him to groan. “I really need to master my inside voice.”

“Yeah, you do,” you agreed then looked at Wanda, “She-witch? Where did that even come from?”

“I duno,” she shrugged, “seemed fitting.” You all laughed again.

“Hey guys!” You heard from down the hall and spun to see who was yelling at you all. Your eyes landed on Steve and your heart instantly jumped into your throat. You looked back at all your friends and quickly spit out, “please don’t tell him!”

“Why?!” Clint and Wanda asked in unison.

“He deserves to know what that she-witch did to you,” Hilde said.

You saw him quickly making his way towards you all. “Please, you guys,” you pleaded, “I just want to act like it never happened.”

They all stared at you then sighed in unison. “Fine,” a couple agreed.

“But,” Nat started, “if she ever pulls anything like this again, we are telling him.”

“Fine. Fine. Deal,” you agreed and waved her off, knowing that you’d never willingly allow Madeleine to mess with you again, so you had no issues with this agreement.

Steve finally reached your group and you turned to greet him with a smile, “hey Steve.”

He instantly pulled you into a giant bear hug and rested his face on the top of your head as he whispered into your hair, “are you okay? I heard you got locked in a closet or something?”

You froze and your eyes widened, but luckily for you he couldn’t see that. “Ah, yeah—No. I’m fine.” You stumbled out quickly which caused him to pull out of the hug, gripping your upper arms and looking down at you.

“Y/N,” he warned, “tell me what happened?”

“Nothing happened,” you took a step back and tried to look to your friends for help, but they all just shook their heads, said quick goodbyes then turned and walked away from you both. Fucking rude!

You internally groaned then turned back to Steve, whose deep blue eyes were staring down at you, watching your every move. You cleared your throat awkwardly “I-I just got lost. And ah, accidentally got locked in a janitor's closet,” you said as you looked down at your feet. Feeling very much like you were a small child being asked how the vase got broken.

“You mean this closet?” Steve asked as he stepped around you and grabbed the door, opening it to examine the lock.

“Yeah, that one,” you quickly grabbed his arm in an attempt to pull him away from the door. “Come on, we have to get to class.”

He pulled his arm free from your grasp and fiddled with the lock a few times. “Y/N, this door only locks with a key,” he turned to look down at you again.

“Oh, does it?” You faked ignorance then shrugged, “huh, strange.”

He narrowed his eyes at you but before he could say anything more you piped up. “Wow! Would you look at the time!” You looked over at a wall clock down the hall, “I should really be getting to class. Bye Steve.” You spun and went to walk away but realized you weren’t actually moving anywhere, your brows knitted and you look down to see your shirt pulled tight against your stomach. Who grabs the back of someone's shirt? Seriously, that’s how you stretch them out!

“Nu uh,” he spun you to face him leaving his hands on your upper arms, holding you in place. “You aren’t getting out of this conversation that easily.”

“Steve,” you groaned, “seriously, we are going to be late for class.” You tried to wiggle out of his hold but he just tightened his grip.

“Who locked you in there, Y/N?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” he insisted as he finally released you, and crossed his large arms over his broad chest. Clearly trying to look more authoritative and intimidating. But two could play that game, you crossed your arms as well, giving him your most stern look, “I’m not going to tell you, so just give it up.”

As it would appear, Fate was not your friend today as you heard that same whiny voice from earlier say, “Steve.”

You cringed as he looked over his shoulder at where the voice was coming from, and you took his distraction as your chance to take a few steps back. Creating some much needed distance between you both.

“Not now, Madi,” he huffed and turned back to you, rolling his eyes as he did, “I’m a little busy at the moment.”

“No, I need to speak with you,” she stomped her foot and crossed her arms. You’d heard she acted like a spoiled child when she didn’t get her way, but seeing it first hand was crazy. All the things your friends had said about her were clearly true. She was a horrible, spoiled brat.

Steve obviously wanted nothing to do with her right now, as he just ignored her, and kept his beautiful blue eyes locked with yours, the intense look in them made your heart flutter and the temperature start to rise in your neck and cheeks. You finally broke the eye contact and turned your head away from him, “it’s okay, Steve. Go talk to her. I have to get to class before I’m late.”

“Good call, Y/N. We wouldn’t want you missing another class,” Madeleine sneered.

That made Steves brows knit together for a moment as he looked between Madi and you, clearly trying to figure out what she meant by that. Then he whispered quietly, just for you to hear, “Did she lock you in that room, Y/N?”

Your eyes widened momentarily before you could stop them, and that was all the answer he needed. Before you could even get a word out he spoke again, “are you fucking kidding me?” He seethed then quickly closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a few deep breaths. When he opened his eyes again his expression had softened and he looked at you, apologetically, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. Go to class, I’ll handle Madeleine.”

“You don’t have to do that,” you shook your head. “Honestly, it’s not your problem. I can handle it.”

“It is my problem,” he shook his head now. “She is only acting out because of me.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the decided look in his eyes told you that arguing with him wasn’t going to get you anywhere. He had made up his mind on this and nothing you could say would change it. So you sighed, “you seriously don’t have to defend me. But if I know anything about you, it’s that you are stubborn as hell, and nothing I say will change your mind.”

He smirked in victory, “clearly you know me pretty well then.”

You just rolled your eyes, “clearly.”

“Now, off to class you go,” he turned you around and kept his hands on your shoulder as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, “you do remember how to get there, right?”

You scoffed, “of course I do.”

“Perfect,” he laughed then lightly pushed you in the direction of your next class. You stumbled a bit but then caught yourself. And as you walked away you turned to look over your shoulder, seeing Steve clearly upset at Madi and her obviously trying to defend herself. Which was not working out for her, at all.

You sighed and turned to look ahead again, Steve standing up for you did feel kinda good but somehow your gut was telling you that it would only make things worse. That letting him stand up for you was only going to paint an even larger bullseye on your back, and Madeleine would be out for blood now.

You shook your head to banish the thoughts, you’d just have to avoid her at all costs, in an attempt to prevent her messing with you ever again. But if she did, you vowed right then and there to never tell Steve about it. You didn’t need him fighting your battles, you’d handle Madeleine on your own from now on.

July 2018 - Present.

“I didn’t invite that stupid cow,” Nat’s voice pulled you back into the real world, you turned to look behind you, seeing her standing there with her arms crossed, glaring daggers at Madi, Kiara and Penelope. Who were off to the side of the room, chatting with a few other woman you’d all gone to school with.

“Tell her to fuck off then,” Hilde said with a shrug.

“Ugh! I wish I could,” Nat sighed and moved to sit beside you, “I’m sorry, Y/N. My aunt is close with her family, she must have invited her. I’d probably never hear the end of it, but if you want me to kick her out, I’d gladly do it for you.”

“It’s fine, Nat,” you waved it off. “You don’t have to. And I’ve met your aunt, she’s not someone I’d want to willingly piss off,” you laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “I’m sure it’ll be fine, we are all adults now. Plus high school was a very long time ago.”

“That it was,” Nat agreed, though she was still glaring daggers at the 3 woman.

“Well, I don’t have a scary aunt to worry about,” Hilde started and crossed her arms. “So just say the word Y/N and I’ll gladly kick her ass.”

You snorted out a laugh, “I don’t doubt that you would.” And you didn’t, not for a second. “But honestly, it’s okay. Let’s just steer clear of her as much as we can.”

“Yeah, good plan,” Wanda agreed.

Now a lot had changed since high school, but some things had also stayed very much the same.

Hilde had always been a firecracker, and was the first one to step up and defend her friends using force. Regardless of if the odds were stacked against her or not. So when she joined a kickboxing class and ended up falling in love with the sport, and her trainer, you were not surprised at all. She ended up spending the next few years training and building her strength and now she was a professional MMA fighter. And a fucking good one at that. And as the cherry on top, she was also happily dating the man who had taught her everything about the sport, and had helped her truly find herself. His name was Thor and you’d yet to meet him, but had heard all about him from the girls. So between Thor and learning how to fight, she had not only built up her confidence, and given herself an outlet for her anger, but had also given herself the skills to back up her words. Which was a little terrifying, but you were also so damn proud of her, and everything she had accomplished since high school.

And Wanda, sweet Wanda, had ended up going to school to become a therapist, which suited her to a T. She was always the first one to lend an ear or a shoulder to the people around her. She was ridiculously in-tune with others emotions, and what they needed to be able to work through their problems. She had ended up meeting a guy in one of her classes, and they had just clicked, instantly. So now, her and Vis were also happily dating, and owned/operated a therapy clinic, side by side. Vis dealt with the physical therapy side of it, and Wanda specialized in mental therapy only. They were like a well oiled machine and worked really well together, or at least that’s what you’d heard from the others.

“Okay, I have to go mingle,” Nat sighed, “let’s hope this party ends quickly.” She stood from her seat and headed off to chat with the other groups around the room, leaving you, Hilde and Wanda to sit and people watch. They both filled you in on all the glorious gossip you had missed over the years. Who got married, had affairs, got divorced, had babies, got arrested. And so on and so forth.

Near the end of the party someone called to Hilde and she asked if you or Wanda wanted to join her. Wanda accepted instantly, and you informed them that you’d go get a little more food then meet them over there. They nodded then took off towards the group of woman, and you got up and walked over to the food table to grab a few more things. But just as you started to load up your plate, you heard that all too familiar, irritating sound, chime from behind you and you grimaced at it. “It’s so good to see you again, Y/N. It’s been so long.”

“It has been awhile,” though not long enough. You slowly turned around to face her, plastering on your best fake smile. “Madeleine, how are you?” You asked, even though you could honestly care less.

“I’m wonderful,” she stated then looked at your loaded up plate, “though, I wish I could eat all those carbs and not care about being fat.” She shrugged and her eyes flicked down to your waist then to her left hand, admiring the large engagement ring on it. “But I have a wedding dress to fit into, and I refuse to become a Mrs. Stark while fat.”

You froze instantly at her words, almost dropping your plate of food on the floor, though luckily your grip was so tight on the plate that you didn’t think you could actually put it down, even if you’d tried.

“Well, welcome back Y/N. I’ll leave you to your,” she smirked, “food. Toodles,” she waved, wiggling just the fingers on her left hand as she walked away. Clearly making a point of showing off her engagement ring to you.

Once she was out of sight you managed to put the plate down, grabbed your clutch from your seat and exited the room. You’d text the girls shortly to explain why you’d abruptly left, but right now you just needed to get as far away from this place, and that fucking woman as you could.

You hailed a cab and gave the driver your dads address, sitting back in the seat and trying to wrap your mind around the information you’d just been given. You knew Steve had 2 brothers, but Peter was years younger then you all, so you figured it wasn’t Peter she was marrying. And Tony had never hung around with your group, or anyone in your grade for that matter. He was always busy with his own friends and probably barely even knew Madi. So therefore, there was only on logical answer. Madi and Steve were engaged. He was marrying her. The girl who had tormented you all through high school. The girl he had taken to prom. The girl he had swore up and down that he wanted nothing to do with, ever again. Clearly that was all a lie.

Part of you was really mad that none of your friends had told you about this little development, but then again, you had specifically asked them years ago to not update you on Steve or his life. And this very much had to do with ‘his life.’

You pulled out your phone then quickly sent a text to Hilde, as she was supposed to be your ride home, ‘Hey, I took a cab home. Not feeling good and just want to climb into bed and die.’

*ping* ‘Do you want me to kick Madeleine’s ass?’

And if your stomach wasn’t currently in knots you might have burst out laughing at that. ‘No, we wouldn’t want her sporting a black eye for her wedding day.’

*ping* ‘Fine, but my offer still stands. Plus she’d probably look better with a shiner.’

You couldn’t help but picture that for a second before replying, ‘Although that is a valid point, she isn’t worth it.’

*ping* ‘Do you want me to stop by after the party?’

You quickly replied, ‘No, it’s okay. I’ll message you later.’

*ping* ‘You’d better or else.’

You tucked your phone away and stared out the car window as your mind started to fully process everything.

Madeleine and Steve are engaged. They’re fucking engaged, and you’re the idiot for getting your hopes up. For thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to mend fences with him, and salvage some part of your original friendship.

But nope. Fuck that shit. That was not an option now. You’d just get through this week, and the wedding, then go back to Boston and pretend like none of this ever happened. Just like you had the first time you left this stupid small town behind—and the first time you’d left him behind.

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