#plus people are most likely to go to ao3 wanting long fic content

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

What fanfic do you wish you got more response on?

Hmm, there's a few one-shots I'm surprised didn't receive more reception than I expected but I'm not too bothered by it.

I would name Heard No More as one I'd love to receive more response on but in my experience, 1-5k one-shots tend to gain a lot of traction on tumblr over multi-chapter/10k+ fics.

Like I was happily surprised at the response Gibbous got on AO3 when I posted the most recent chapter, but then like. It's tumblr version only received like 5 notes. Part of that is because I didn't reblog it as much/add it to my pinned fic list, but even so.

My plans, however, with Heard No More is to finish the overall AU (By The Pricking of My Thumbs), edit it and then release it onto AO3 serially

[healmydesires]

cross that line ꕤ (l.h)

part two

pairing: Logan Howlett x fem!reader

summary: For a long time, you were content hiding your feelings, but lately, the longing for someone you can’t have has become unbearable. Despite knowing he could never be yours, you still cherished the sweet ache in your heart whenever he smiled or gave you a warm, platonic hug. Then, one day, everything changed.

genre: fluff + angst + smut (18+ mdni)

word count: 14k (14k on the dot to be precise but yeah uhm. sorry. I swear I'm normal)

warnings/tags: friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, thunderstorms, idiots in love, mutual pining, assumed unrequited love, jealous!reader, reader is described as shorter than logan, emotional!reader, miscommunication kinda, inexperienced/virgin!reader, loss of virginity, unprotected sex, piv sex, soft!dom logan, ok… just in overall bye, logan is soft for reader, sub!reader, vaginal fingering, oral (f!receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, overstimulation, major size kink, praise kink, dirty talk, oral fixation. some daddy kink? breeding kink aaaaa sorry. I wrote this while ovulating. they’re both FREAKS. scent kink? lots of pet names. this is high key sweet and turns filthy. logan is worshipping his sweet girl ok! reader is a mutant. reader has hair, no further description though. this is not beta read sorry!

a/n: GUESS WHAT!!! user healmydesires is back with another self indulgent fic about a new blorbo! I’ve been having all random kinds of scenarios about logan in my head and I just didn’t know which type of story to go with. until I felt like there weren’t much of inexperienced/virgin reader fics for logan and tbh… that’s kinda my brand (I’m high key kidding but lowkey that’s what I love to write the most) if you’ve read my works so. I thought I’ll write what I WANT to read. so this is high key self indulgent. english isn’t my first language so pls bear with me <3 also ngl.. a lot of it is just smut 😭 I literally wrote this while ovulating… EDIT (19/09): I kinda edited it a bit because it had a lot of grammar mistakes and I'd often jump from present tense to past tense so ye

this goes without saying, but if you don't like it don't read it <3

AO3 • masterlist

Being roommates with your best friend had its perks. You were together almost all the time, sharing both the big and small moments. As fellow teachers, you could easily swap teaching tips, lend each other a hand with tasks, or offer guidance when you were feeling stuck. Your tall best friend effortlessly reached the top shelves, and you both enjoyed laughter-filled moments during movie marathons. Sharing responsibilities became more fun too—splitting chores like cooking and laundry felt easy and natural. Plus, there was comfort in knowing your best friend was always dependable, ready to support you whenever you needed it. And whenever you were in need of a hug, your best friend was probably already ready to envelop you in his warm embrace.

But it also had its disadvantages.

Especially considering that Logan Howlett, your best friend, was quite the menace.

Logan had always had a rugged handsomeness that effortlessly made people swoon all around him. It wasn't fair how pretty he was. He had always been lucky with finding partners—or rather, when it came to finding bed or sexual partners. He'd often bring those one-night stands or partners to your shared apartment only to have sex with them. Logan had never been the type to stick with one person, always preferring flings over long-term relationships. Or so you thought.

You, on the other hand, had always craved a long-term relationship. You dreamed of finding your true love—someone to share adventures with, to have fun with, and to dive into deep, meaningful and random conversations. You loved the idea of being with someone who let you be your true self, where you could spend hours talking about the most random things—discussing your favourite TV shows one minute, and passionately criticising capitalism and the world the next. You were all about affection, from kissing to being held, but you also longed to hold your partner close and make them feel cherished, just as much as you wanted to feel loved in return.

Unfortunately, you had never had the chance to experience anything like that.

It wasn't like you had never had the chance or had the opportunity to explore and possibly experience a potential relationship. You had just never been really interested in creating a relationship with a stranger.

Plus the thing was, your best friend wasn't just your best friend. You had been in love with Logan for god knows how long.

Charles Xavier was the one who had introduced you both, years ago. You remembered that day very vividly.

You had just arrived at the Xavier Institute, and the professor had offered you a two-sided job, to be a teacher at the school and be part of the X-Men.

You'd always done your best to keep your powers hidden, but being welcomed into a school designed for people like you—a mutant—felt incredibly liberating. That's why you hadn't hesitated when Charles Xavier invited you to his school. You'd always known you were powerful, with the ability to control and manipulate water, but you had kept your abilities a secret, not wanting to be treated any differently in a world that didn't really like or understand people like you.

As the professor took you around the grounds, you couldn't help but be impressed by how big and beautiful it all was.

You were so captivated by the mansion's grandeur and stunning architecture that you didn't even notice a guy casually leaning against the nearest wall outside of Charles's office. But the moment your eyes met his, it felt as if time itself stood still. Looking into Logan's eyes, you felt like you could drown in them. You had never seen anyone so effortlessly handsome.

Completely entranced by him, you almost forgot to introduce yourself. Your body heated up in the moment, and the professor definitely noticed. Logan Howlett gave you a knowing smirk, making the warmth inside you intensify even more.

That day you both became friends, though you still didn't quite understand why, given how different you both were. Logan was gruff and blunt, while you, though capable of being direct, tended to choose your words more carefully. He was passionate and strong-willed and opinionated, and sometimes he let that get the best of him. You were deeply in tune with your emotions, while he always seemed to hold back, keeping certain feelings tightly guarded. Logan was never one to be very straightforward with his emotions. He would rather keep most of them to himself, and didn't want to seem too vulnerable. Communication was something you valued and needed a lot, but Logan, by contrast, didn't seem to rely on it as much. You were an overthinker, always caught up in your thoughts, and he would often step in to ease those worries of yours.

You could say that opposites attract.

Over time, your friendship grew, and one day he asked if you'd like to move in with him into a new apartment near the institute. He craved a bit more peace and genuinely enjoyed your company. It seemed like a good idea, so you thought, why not?

You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment you fell in love with your roommate. All you knew was that one day, you were suddenly overcome by an emotion so intense, it was unlike anything you'd ever felt before. It hit you all at once. Before Logan, you'd never really had a serious crush, never experienced feelings this powerful for anyone. You often told yourself it must have started shortly after you moved in with him, but deep down, you knew that wasn't the truth. This feeling had been quietly growing from the very first moment you met him, slowly building until it became impossible to ignore.

It was funny, you thought, how life had a way of bringing you things—and people—you never realised you needed. People like Logan, who became so essential that you couldn't help but wonder how you had ever lived without them. People like Logan Howlett, who somehow managed to be both your saving grace and your greatest temptation.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A few months into your roommate arrangement, you still couldn't get used to Logan constantly bringing one-night stands to your shared apartment. It was pure torment.

As you ate cereal at the kitchen island, one of Logan's many one-night stands quietly slipped out of the apartment. You rolled your eyes, as Logan routinely walked them through the apartment to the door, their faces often adorned with sly smiles as they fluttered their eyelashes at him. A knot of anger twisted in your belly as you watched them play with the collar of his shirt, their fingers lingering while he made no move to pull away. You'd never felt such intense rage before. He responded with a grunt as they would casually give him a goodbye kiss.

You hated experiencing feelings like these. It was a gross emotion, a heavy sensation that felt thick and tar-like, clinging to your chest and making you ache with its heavy weight.

Anxiety? Sure, you were often more anxious than most mutants, but that wasn't the feeling you had at this moment. Maybe it was jealousy? You disliked how that emotion fit so easily on your tongue, leaving a bitter taste.

Each time you witnessed these scenes unfold, jealousy and frustration would wash over you. Or how you'd feel utterly awful whenever you accidentally overheard them having sex.

As Logan reentered the apartment and closed the door behind him, you couldn't help but snort. “So, what number are we up to now?”

He stared at you for a moment, before chuckling and shaking his head with a smirk. “Not sure, lost count.” He shrugged, grabbed an apple from the fruit basket on the kitchen island, and took a bite.

“What was their name?” you asked, staring daggers at your bowl of cereal.

Logan shrugged again. “I don't know, and honestly, I don't care,” he replied curtly before walking away.

You couldn't understand how he could be so nonchalant about this situation.

It wasn't just jealousy; you longed for any kind of affection or love from Logan, more than you ever thought possible. You were grateful to be his best friend and you knew it might seem foolish to hope for a chance with him, but you couldn't help yourself. Deep down, you feared you'd always feel this lonely, believing you could never fall for anyone but him. He was everything you craved and needed in life.

You felt foolish, constantly embarrassed and rejected. More than anything, you felt hurt, knowing that you were the only one to blame. It was your own feelings that had caused all this pain.

The thought of him one day falling in love with someone else made your stomach sink, but you pushed and suppressed your sadness aside daily. It didn't really matter—Logan was free to date whoever he wanted. He was your best friend, only his best friend.

One day, you'd have to come to terms with the fact that he would always be just your best friend.

You just hoped that one day it would become easier to deal with these feelings.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It was the middle of a cold winter night — the air cool against your skin, even with your large pink puffer jacket to keep you warm. The thick curtain of night enveloped the sky, painting it a deep midnight blue, with stars twinkling like the clearest diamonds. Despite the cool ambient air, you found yourself relaxing, your shoulders gradually easing.

“You see that there?” you pointed up at the starlit sky, leaning unconsciously into Logan's warmth as you both lay on the grass of the X-mansion grounds. “That's the Pleiades. People often mistake it for the Little Dipper, but it's just a star cluster.”

Logan hummed, but his eyes were focused on you, how you gazed up at the stars with an awestruck expression. A gentle smile tugged at his lips, as he enjoyed how you looked so endearing as you were so engrossed in the stars that you loved so dearly.

He glanced up at the part of the sky you were pointing to, located the cluster of stars you had mentioned. He studied it for a moment and thought he had seen something similar to the Pleiades before, but never illuminated in the night sky like this. Logan's gaze then returned to the earth, settling back on the grass where he lay beside you.

“Beautiful,” Logan whispered as he stared at you. “Truly beautiful.”

You were too busy gazing up at the sky to realise that he wasn't talking about the sky.

For as long as you could remember, you had loved the night sky, finding its dark embrace profoundly comforting. More than that, you adored the stars—coming out at night to bask in their radiance, with their distant coldness soothing your soul.

You had always felt so mesmerised about the universe, especially the stars and the moon. They appeared beautiful, glittering magnificently beside one another as they hovered in the upper stratosphere.

“Why did you bring me out here, Lo?” you finally asked, looking up at your best friend. You noticed him smirk down at you and saw a fleeting hint of hesitant insecurity in his green eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

He shrugged against you, still grinning. “I know how much you enjoy stargazing, and I'm aware you've had a rough week, so I wanted to give you a chance to relax for a bit.”

You softened as you gazed up at him. Logan was right—you had been having a rough week. The children had been sweet, but the workload had been overwhelming. You couldn't help but appreciate how Logan was always looking out for you.

“Thank you…” you whispered.

“Anything for you, sweetheart.” He winked before he looked back up at the sky. “Why don't you show me another constellation?”

You giggled as you pointed out another cluster of stars, but more often than not, Logan found it hard to focus on the stars. After all, he had a bright light of his own by his side daily that captured all of his attention.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A year had passed since you moved in with Logan, and autumn was already around the corner. The temperature was gradually dropping, and the air became crisper. The trees' leaves were starting to fade from vibrant greens to tamer shades of bronze and gold. You had always loved this time of year—it was that perfect season where you could bundle up in layers when you were outside, then retreat indoors in the evenings, getting cosy with a hot chocolate and a good book.

It was during seasons like this that you found yourself wishing you could cuddle up with someone, enjoying a movie or simply each other's company. But it wasn't just anyone you wanted by your side—it had always been Logan for you.

For the longest time, you were content in just keeping all your feelings hidden. Lately, though, the longing had been getting harder to bear. Wanting someone you knew you couldn't have was starting to feel unbearable, slowly eating away at you. And even though you knew he could never be yours, it didn't stop you from savouring the sweet ache in your heart every time he smiled or when he pulled you into a warm, platonic hug.

All the stupid fluttery feelings in your stomach every time his eyes would catch yours, or the way your heart beat fast whenever you were in close proximity to him. You knew it had been years since you'd known Logan, but you couldn't help the effect he always had on you. The way he left you yearning for more. But, of course, you tried to bury those feelings down deep, reminding yourself that Logan could never feel the same way about you as you felt about him.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

One lazy afternoon, with no classes scheduled for you to teach, you found yourself by the lake on the X-Mansion grounds, practising your water bending. The water flowed seamlessly around you as you moved your arms, bending it effortlessly to your will. As you went through each movement, you could feel a pair of eyes on you, observing every precise motion, your muscles tensing with each fluid shift. A light sheen of sweat formed on your brow, and your face held a fierce look of concentration as you focused on perfecting your stance and movements.

Several moments had passed, and the person watching you still hadn't spoken a word. By now, you were almost certain it wasn't just anyone—it had to be Logan. Anyone else would have said something by now, maybe greeted you or asked about your training. But not Logan. He had a way of lingering in silence, watching you in that quietly intense way of his, never feeling the need to fill the space with unnecessary words.

“Well, are you just going to stand there and stare, or do you plan on saying something?” you asked, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

Logan grunted, “I think I'll just keep watching. I quite like the view from here.”

A flush of warmth spread across your face, butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach at his words. You hesitated for a moment, pausing your movements before he spoke again.

“Don't stop on my account, sweetheart.”

You knew he was wearing one of his signature grins, and you so desperately wanted to wipe it off his face. As you grew more flustered, a wave of frustration built up inside you—how could this man always have such an effect on you? An idea sparked in your mind, a mischievous smirk tugging at your lips. Deciding to continue your water bending practice while he watched, you let the water flow effortlessly around you, fully aware of his eyes tracking your every move.

Once a peaceful stillness settled in the air, you saw your opening. Without warning, you spun around with swift precision, bending the water toward him and drenching him in seconds.

Logan stood there, completely perplexed as you broke into a fit of giggles. He was drenched from head to toe, and you knew it wouldn't be long before he sprang into action. Sure enough, just seconds later, he smirked again, though this time it carried a sharper edge. “You think this is funny, bub?”

“Yeah, I kinda do,” you replied between laughs, unable to contain yourself.

But then, Logan's grin turned devious, and with a determined march, he began closing the distance between you. Your eyes widened in realisation, and without thinking, you bolted away.

“You're not getting away with this, princess,” he called out, his voice low as he gave chase.

He moved swiftly through the gardens, but you were quicker, slipping just out of sight every time he got close. His eyes darted around, scanning the area, frustration slowly turning into determination. You could hear him muttering under his breath, his footsteps getting louder as he searched for you. Your heart raced as you ducked behind a tree, trying to stifle your laughter. The thrill of the chase had adrenaline coursing through your veins.

For a moment, you thought you had lost him, but then he sniffed and just as you peeked around the tree, you saw him spot you from across the grove. His eyes gleamed with mischief as a smirk curled at the corner of his lips. “I got you,” he muttered before he moved towards you with renewed speed. You tried to slip away again, but it was too late—he had you cornered.

Soon enough, two strong arms caged you in, trapping you between the tree and his chest. A startled yelp escaped your lips as you tried to back away, only to realise there was nowhere to go. “Gotcha,” he murmured, his voice low and teasing, the familiar playful glint in his eyes making your heart race even faster.

You squirmed, trying to find a way out, but his grip tightened just enough to keep you in place without being overbearing. “Logan! Let me go,” you protested, laughter bubbling up in your throat despite your attempt to sound serious.

“Thought you could get away that easily, huh?” he teased, leaning in so close that you could feel his wet clothes and the warmth of his body. The heat from his proximity spread across your own, making you acutely aware of how close you were. You bit your lip, your cheeks becoming hotter as his smirk widened. The sight of your flustered expression seemed to delight him, his satisfaction evident in his playful gaze.

“Well, this is cosy,” you remarked, but your voice barely rose above a whisper. There was a tremor in your tone, one that matched the rapid beat of your heart.

“Hm, I think so too,” he responded with the same teasing tone. You gazed up at him with bright eyes as the golden hour of evening cast a warm glow around you both. It took all his willpower not to look away, not to acknowledge the tension that hung thick in the air.

You shifted against the tree, searching for a different way to elicit a reaction from him. Your touch light, almost accidental, but it sent a shockwave through him, his breath hitching in his throat. You could feel him stiffen, sensing the tension as he reacted to your contact.

He leaned in, just enough that he could feel your breath against his skin, just enough that the space between you became almost non-existent, and just enough to hear your breath hitch.

Logan closed his eyes, as he pressed his forehead against your own. Every time he tried to speak, the words got tangled up in the mess of emotions swirling inside him. All he could think about was how close you were, how your touch burned through him, how the smell of you, that unique soft scent of yours, filled his senses and made him want to lose himself in you.

“Lo—”

Before you could finish, Ororo's voice rang out, calling your name. You felt a wave of disappointment wash over you as you realised your moment with Logan was interrupted. You had forgotten about the promise to cook together with her and Jean, and your friend's timing burst the bubble of what you thought might finally be a shared moment with him.

He grunted in frustration, pulling away from you and looking off to the side. Ororo, Jean, and even Scott soon found their way to you, their presence drawing closer. As they approached, each of them wore a grin that suggested they had noticed the tension between you and Logan. The air was thick with unspoken understanding, and it was clear that your friends had picked up on the charged moment that had just been interrupted.

You cleared your throat and stepped reluctantly away from Logan, trying to regain your composure. You forced a smile as you addressed your friends, saying, “Sorry to keep you guys waiting.” You then walked away with Jean and Ororo towards the mansion, though you couldn't help glancing back over your shoulder. Each time you looked, a hint of longing appeared on your face as you cast a final, wistful glance at Logan.

As you walked away, you heard Scott remark, “You look wet.”

Logan responded with a huff, “Fuck off, Summers.”

You couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if your friends wouldn't have interrupted you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

It had been Friday evening, and you were in your office at the institute, finishing up grading the last of the papers while waiting for Logan. The two of you had plans to head home together, but he had yet to come and find you. Growing impatient, you decided to look for him yourself. You grabbed your bag and jacket before going out of your office, closing the door silently behind you. The smell of stew wafted through the mansion as you jogged down the stairs from your office to the kitchen. You quietly approached and paused when you saw him with Jean. She was chopping vegetables, while Logan leaned against the island, holding a cup of coffee.

“I don't see why you don't just do it. Everyone can see how perfect you two are for each other,” Jean had sighed.

Your eyes widened and you bit your lip nervously as you instinctively hid behind the wall. You truly hoped Logan wouldn't smell your scent while hiding, considering his heightened sense of smell. You knew you shouldn't be eavesdropping, but your curiosity had gotten the better of you. Jean's words had left you intrigued about what they were discussing.

Logan huffed, “I've already told you—” he tried arguing, but Jean cut him off mid-sentence.

“Logan, come on,” Jean said pointedly. “You keep denying it, but everyone here has seen the two of you dance around each other for years. You can't honestly tell me that you're just friends. Friends don't act the way you two do with each other.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Logan asked, tilting his head to the side. Your stomach churned as you realised they were talking about the two of you. Silently, you pressed your back against the wall and shuffled further behind it, continuing to listen.

“It means that friends don't stare at each other longingly, or they don't flirt with each other, and they certainly don't cuddle together while sharing the same bed,” Jean said, emphasising her point as Logan began to argue. “Besides,” she continued, “you've known her for a while now. There's no one you've been more comfortable with than her. We all know you'll look after each other and be happy together. So why haven't you done anything about it? All we want is for you both to be happy,” Jean concluded.

You bit your lip at her words, feeling a mix of hope and nervousness churn in your stomach. With trembling fingers, you held your breath, waiting for Logan's response. When you heard him sigh, you felt your world begin to crumble around you.

“Yeah, but Jean, it's not like that. We are not like that. We're just friends,” Logan had replied. You had pressed your teeth harshly into your lip, biting down so hard you feared you might draw blood. It was the only thing keeping you from sobbing out loud. Logan's words replayed over and over in your mind. While you had always known he felt that way, hearing it confirmed so casually had left your heart breaking.

Not wanting to listen any longer, you silently turned and hurried toward the main entrance, trying to be as quiet as possible. Once outside, tears flooded your vision as you ran to the mansion gates, searching through your bag for your phone to call a cab. Since you hadn't brought your car and had driven in with Logan that morning, calling a cab was your only option.

When the cab finally arrived, you slid into the backseat and gave the driver your instructions. As he drove you home, you took a deep breath, struggling to swallow the lump in your throat. Your breath came in labored gasps as you fought to keep from breaking down in tears. Your mind was running a mile a minute as you tried to process his words. Silently you let the tears flow down your cheeks.

When you arrived at your building, you paid the cab and noticed your phone buzzing incessantly. You quickly silenced it as you entered your apartment, not bothering to look at who was trying to contact you.

Once you entered your bedroom, you broke down just then as you let out a choked sob while stripping off your clothes. With great effort, you managed to put on your pyjamas before climbing into bed. Soon, you would let your destructive thoughts take over. Deep down, you knew you shouldn't have eavesdropped on their conversation and jumped to conclusions, especially since Logan wasn't done speaking with Jean. But you couldn't bear to stay and listen any longer. You felt too vulnerable as you let his words echo inside your head.

You had been ignoring all the texts from your friends and the calls from Logan specifically, too drained to even hold a conversation.

Eventually, you felt sleep overtaking you, utterly exhausted from a long workweek and an emotionally draining evening.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

That same night, you had jolted awake to the sound of a loud rumble. Outside, storm clouds loomed ominously over the city, with thunder crackling through them every few minutes. The storm had been raging outside your apartment, with thunder booming so fiercely it shook the windows. Curled up in your bed, you had whimpered softly, clutching a thick blanket tightly around you—not just for warmth, but for comfort and a sense of protection.

You had never liked thunderstorms, and by now, you must have tried a thousand different ways to distract yourself from them. You'd put on headphones to drown out the noise, but the knowledge of the storm outside still fed your anxiety. Thunderstorms always had a way of making you feel small and utterly helpless.

You felt a tightness building in your chest as you trembled beneath the sheets. Tears welled up in your eyes as you tried to steady your breathing and calm yourself down. In moments like these, you felt truly helpless. You knew you shouldn't feel ashamed for being this terrified, but you couldn't help it.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to focus on the song playing through your headphones, desperate to drown out the storm. Moments later, you felt the bed dip. Slowly, you opened your eyes and found Logan sitting at the end of your bed, his soft gaze fixed on you with a look of quiet concern. A wave of relief washed over you just at the sight of him. Part of you wanted to ignore him and continue being upset with everything that had happened earlier that evening, but you couldn't find the power to do so. After all, he probably didn't even know why you were upset and who were you even kidding, he was everything you needed.

He was sitting there shirtless, dressed only in a pair of grey sweatpants. His hair was tousled from sleep. If it weren't for the sheer terror you felt because of the storm outside, you knew your cheeks would be burning at the sight of him like this. You noticed his mouth moving and, reluctantly, you slid one headphone off your ear to hear him.

“W-what?” you squeaked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Sweetheart,” Logan whispered cautiously into the darkness.

At the sound of his voice, the tears that had been brimming in your eyes finally spilled down your cheeks. “I'm so sorry, I feel so stupid,” you whispered, taking off your headphones and quickly trying to wipe your tears away, embarrassed by your emotions and the fact that you were terrified by the storm.

Seconds later Logan was climbing up the bed and he was lying right next to you. His strong arms wrapped around your shaking form almost immediately, holding you tightly.

“Shhh it's okay sweet girl, I've got you,” he whispered softly as he kissed your temple. Warmth spread through you at the action and you melted into his embrace.

“I hate being scared of them, Lo,” you mumbled into his chest as he squeezed you tightly.

“It's okay princess, I got you. I won't let anything happen to you.” His hands, surprisingly soft, were stroking your skin in a soothing manner as he continued to press soft kisses around the top of your head.

As Logan held you, you felt yourself slowly begin to calm down. Even though the storm showed no signs of letting up, his presence made you feel much more at ease and secure. Logan meant everything to you—he was your anchor.

“Please, stay,” you whispered as the last few tears slipped down your cheeks.

In the dark, Logan whispered your name and tightened his embrace. “I'm not going anywhere, baby girl.”

As Logan held you close, you felt your body relax gradually. He gently ran his hand through your hair, pulling the covers over both of you and adding an extra layer of warmth.

You reflected on how he often spoke to you and the way he treated you with such care. You couldn't help but overthink his sweet and gentle treatment. You knew you were more emotional and needed extra reassurance and patience, but you had never considered that he might actually have feelings for you beyond friendship. You often felt like a burden to your friends and especially to Logan. You were fairly certain you were the only one he treated this way. His teasing sometimes seemed like it could be flirting, and despite your attempts to deny it, deep down you sensed that you were somehow special to him. 

But another part of you couldn't shake what he had said earlier that night to Jean. You felt deeply conflicted and confused about everything happening between the two of you. The uncertainty and mixed emotions left you struggling to understand his true feelings, unsure of how to navigate the situation.

So you did what felt best to you, which was communicating. Even if you hated confrontation so much, you hated being unsure even more.

“Lo?” your voice trembled as you whispered against him.

“Yeah, sweet girl?” He said gently.

You took a little longer to respond, lost in your own thoughts, overthinking everything. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest. Sensing your hesitation, Logan spoke up again, breaking through your spiralling mind.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice lingering in the air as your eyes fluttered open. His head was tilted slightly, worry etched across his face.

“'M-am fine… I just—” you stuttered, your voice cracking. Logan stared at you, waiting patiently for you to finish. “I need to talk about something, or-or it will probably eat me alive if I don't.”

Logan's brow furrowed as his concern deepened, but he remained patient, waiting for you to continue.

“I- I overheard you and Jean earlier tonight…” your voice barely above a whisper.

Recognition settled over him at your words. He sighed shortly after. “What exactly did you hear?”

“You said…” your voice faltered, cracking slightly before you took a deep breath, closing your eyes. “You said we weren't like 'that,' and that we were just friends. After hearing that, I couldn't stay. It hurt too much.” You paused, your words tumbling out in a rush. “I know I shouldn't have eavesdropped, and I'm sorry... I just—” Your voice trailed off as you buried your face in his chest, your rambling finally coming to an end.

He let out a deep sigh, pulling you closer into his embrace. One of his hands gently cupped your cheek, causing your breath to hitch at the contact. “Sweetheart,” he said, his voice steady but filled with warmth. Slowly, you opened your eyes, tears welling up as you met his gaze. Logan's expression softened, and he let out a soothing sound. “Angel, if you'd stayed a little longer, you would've heard the rest of the conversation.”

“W-what?” You squeaked, your heart pounding against your chest as you anxiously waited for him to continue.

“First of all,” he began, locking eyes with you as he spoke, “I told Jean that I couldn't tell you how I felt because I never thought you'd feel the same way. I figured you were better off not knowing how I feel about you because…” His voice faltered for a moment, a heavy sigh escaping him before he continued, “I've always believed I didn't deserve someone like you. Someone so beautiful, so patient, intelligent, caring and so sweet.”

“Lo—” It was difficult to process everything he had said. You had been so sure that he didn't feel anything more than platonic for you, so hearing that he did was overwhelming and you needed to let it sink in. “I just thought... you know, with all the people you've had over in the past, you wouldn't feel anything for me,” you said, your sadness making it hard to finish the sentence and your nerves bracing for the words you had been dreading to hear.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

“I know it sounds stupid, but I kept convincing myself that if I would have meaningless sex with random people that I would get over you. That if I told you how I felt, I’d lose you,” he went on, his vulnerability tugging at your heart. “That’s the last thing I want. You mean too much to me to risk that. I love you, and the thought of losing you—even if it meant not having you the way I wanted—was unbearable.”

Tears welled in your eyes, slowly slipping down your cheeks as he poured out his heart, leaving you in disbelief. You hiccuped through your tears, “You... y-you love me?”

His expression softened further as he took in your puffy eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Gently, he used his hands to wipe away the tears that were slipping down your cheeks, handling you with far more tenderness and care than you had shown yourself earlier.

“Of course I do,” he replied softly. “In every universe, there's no one I love more than you.”

“Logan, you deserve me. Just as much as I deserve you,” you said, cupping his cheeks as tears continued to stream down your own. “You don't have an idea how much I love you.”

Logan smiled softly before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. His arms tightened around you as he began to pepper your face with tender kisses. You couldn't help but giggle against him, feeling the tension between you both melt away bit by bit. The tears slowly came to a stop.

As the emotional intensity of the moment subsided, you felt a sense of relief and contentment. The storm outside seemed to fade into the background as you basked in the warmth of your newfound understanding. You knew that challenges would still come, but facing them together felt infinitely more manageable now that you had acknowledged your feelings for each other.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

After placing a final kiss on the tip of your nose, he pulled back, his gaze filled with such deep affection that it left you feeling overwhelmed—but in the best possible way.

Logan caressed your face with fondness as he admired you. “You’re beautiful.”

You’d feel flustered instantly. “You’re so handsome Logan.” You whispered timidly. 

“Really?” He’d smile down at you. 

“Yes,” you whispered, continuing to meet his gaze shyly, your heart racing as his touch lingered on your skin.

You felt his hand slip beneath the hem of your nightshirt, his fingers tracing the soft skin of your back. A shiver ran down your spine at his touch, drawing his playful gaze as his eyes glinted mischievously. Your breath hitched when his other hand brushed against your bottom lip, sending warmth flooding through your body as his touch became more intimate, exploring you with quiet intensity.

“Do I make you nervous?” he teased with a devious grin.

“I guess you do,” you admitted, biting your lip bashfully.

“And why's that?” Logan asked, leaning in even closer. You could feel his breath against your lips, his nose brushing gently against yours. 

There’s a moment of silence as Logan’s face moves closer and closer to your own, both unable to verbalise just how desperate either of you feel for each other.

His hands are warm as they wander all over your back, underneath the soft fabric of your pyjamas. Your eyes flutter close as you enjoy his attention. You feel yourself get lightheaded by his affection and by the close proximity of your bodies.

As your eyes remained locked with his, the intensity between you grew. You found yourself studying every detail of Logan’s face—the small moles scattered across his skin, his beautiful green eyes, the rough stubble along his jawline. Your gaze drifted from his eyes, down the slope of his nose, until you were irresistibly drawn to his lips. His mouth looks so inviting.

How much you’ve dreamed of having them on your own.

You swallowed dryly at the intensity behind his eyes, your heart beating madly in your chest. A flare of heat rushed to your cheeks as you resolved to reveal the truth. You didn’t want to keep it from him any longer, especially with him looking at you as if he was about to devour you.

“B-because I—” you finally spoke as you stumbled over your words. You felt weak in his presence, but in the best way imaginable. Heat spreads through your body, a feverish sensation overwhelming your senses. Your heart raced, refusing to calm down, and your limbs trembled uncontrollably. It wasn’t the kind of fever that came with illness, but a warmth—tingling, like anticipation coursing through your veins. You whimpered as the same warmth settled between your thighs. “I need y-yo—”

Before you could finish your sentence, his lips crashed onto yours, kissing you with an intensity and passion that left you trembling and helpless, while soft whimpers escaped your throat. He’d tug your body fully closer against his own as his mouth claimed yours.

All your thoughts overwhelmed your brain, disabling any rational understanding of what was going on. Gradually, you leaned into Logan, melting into his embrace. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him back.

Logan groaned as he continued to kiss you with a fierce intensity, giving everything he had. You felt his tongue tracing your lips slowly. Knowing what he wanted you parted your mouth slightly, allowing him to slip his tongue inside and swirl it around yours.

You absorbed all his passion, savouring the warmth of his closeness and the sensation of his rough yet soft hands holding you tightly. You didn’t want to ask how this was happening, nor did you dare question whether it was real or just a dream.

One of his hands roamed over the bare skin of your back beneath your pyjama shirt, leaving goosebumps in his wake, while the other explored the tender curve of your neck. He held you with such tenderness as his mouth continued to move ferociously against yours.

You whimpered against him as warmth and wetness continued to pool between your thighs, your pussy throbbing as his voice rumbled with a chuckle. “You okay there, kitten?” he asked softly, his voice low as his lips brushed against your jaw.

You knew he could smell your arousal, knew he could hear how fast your heart was beating. You bit your lip, trying to stifle another sound, and you tried to bury your face into his chest, feeling the heat spreading across your face and body. Logan was having none of that, his lips quickly reunited with yours. He groaned softly, a deep rumble in his chest, as you trailed your tongue out to seek purchase in his mouth, and he opened for you without hesitation. His hands gripped at your waist and brought your body flush against his.

You wanted Logan to consume your very being. Claim you as his completely.

Soft little noises of pleasure kept leaving your mouth as he continued to kiss you. His lips pressed against yours, guiding the kiss with a gentle control that made you melt into his embrace. You surrendered completely, letting him lead as you revelled in the sensation. He was so good at kissing that all you wanted was to stay in this moment with him forever.

He pulled away after what felt like hours to breathe, his warm pants fanning across your heated face. He was still holding your face with one hand, and his thumb on your cheek moved a little, stroking your skin with so much tenderness. Murmuring against your lips, he said, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I love you so much.” before delving back in for more.

You whimpered as he nipped at your bottom lip, then gently swiped his tongue over it to soothe the sting. You gasped, and Logan seized the moment to explore the inside of your mouth with his tongue once again. As the kiss grew more heated, you moaned, feeling lightheaded and dizzy.

Surprisingly, you completely forgot about the storm that’s raging outside.

Logan devoured you, pouring all his love into you and claiming your mouth and kissing you with so much passion, your body shuddered with want, from the need for him. He moved his lips with yours and swirled his tongue with your own. His hand then moved to tangle in your hair as he pressed his body to yours completely.

Your hands moved to bury in his hair as well. When you pulled at his hair it was a bit rougher than you intended to and it tips his head all the way back and he lets out a loud, wanton moan that makes your whole body flush with arousal. You whined as he finally pulled away, as he left your body flush and panting and craving so much more.

His mouth then moved from your lips to your cheeks as he whispered his love for you again and again. He started trailing long, hot kisses down your jaw and neck. You whimpered pitifully as he suckled lightly on the side of your neck, tilting your head back instinctively to bare more of your soft skin to him.

“Fuck, baby, you’re everything.” He groaned as he bit down gently on the junction of your neck and shoulder. You cried out, impulsively grinding your hips against his own, desperately searching for some much needed friction against your throbbing clit. “You’re mine.” He’d growl against your skin.

You gasped, your eyes flying open when you felt his erection pressing against your pussy. You moaned as your core started clenching around nothing, begging for some attention, his attention.

Logan groaned as you continued to grind against him, grasping your hips into his hands to halt your movements. You whined in protest, as he then rolled you both over, hovering above you as he pinned your arms gently against the mattress.

“So needy.” He chuckled as a devious smile would grow on his face. “Does your sweet little pussy want some attention?” He grinned when you whimpered underneath him, before he continued. “I can always smell how much you need me.” He growled before he rolled his hips against yours again. “This virgin pussy is always begging for me to fill her.”

You didn’t have time to become embarrassed as high pitched whimpers slipped past your lips as he continued to grind against you. You’ve craved this man so bad, and now that he was yours you didn’t want to hold back anymore. He intertwined your hands together as he moved his big straining and clothed cock against your now soaked panties. 

“Love those little noises you make for me, such a good girl.” He moaned against the skin of your neck as he pressed open mouthed kisses and licks across your skin. 

You whined as he gave you a particular hard thrust. You could feel how massive he felt as he rubbed his cock against your clothed folds. You couldn’t deny that it made you nervous but all you could think about was that you needed and wanted him to take you so bad. More wetness would pool down your heated cunt as you fantasise about him filling your tiny pussy with more than just his cock. “Ah, n-need yo-you Lo…”

Suddenly everything became overwhelming, the temperature in the room rising quickly, the feel of his thick cock thrusting against you, the feel of his touch as it wandered all over your skin and the fact that you were going into a foreign but intimate territory with your best friend had you feeling hot all over.

His features softened as he took in how overwhelmed and flustered you looked. He slowed down his movements and one of his hands would move to hold your face as he slowly leaned down to peck your lips. “You’re okay baby girl, I’ve got you. I will take good care of you.” He whispered against your lips. His low voice sent a new wave of arousal down your body. “Tell me what you need, kitten.”

“You, I need you, Logan. I've always only needed you,” you whimpered against his lips as you reconnected them. His hands gently caressed your thighs, and your mind became hazy with intense lust and overwhelming love for him. Your brain instantly turned into mush as you continued to kiss each other passionately.

The kiss then increased with an intensity that had you gasping for breath. You rolled your hips into his, rubbing your throbbing clit against him for some friction against your core. You moaned into his mouth as you rubbed against him. The front of his sweatpants strained as he moved along with you.

As you kept losing yourself in the kiss, you felt his hands wander up your thighs up to the hem of your shirt. His fingers brushed delicately over the sides of your ribs, moving up and down your skin repeatedly, his fingertips mapping out every dip and curve as they wandered all over your skin.

“You're beautiful,” he whispered against your lips, admiring you, making you glance up at him shyly from beneath him. He pulled away just slightly only for him to hold the hem of your shirt, and you could tell what he was about to ask before he opened his mouth. You bit your lip and nodded vigorously, causing him to chuckle breathlessly. “You want me to take this off?” He questioned as he tugged at the fabric gently. 

You nodded bashfully, unable to use or trust your voice during that moment. 

He smiled softly, his hands gently brushing under your shirt before hooking his fingers into the fabric. Slowly, he lifted it, and you raised your arms to help him slip it off.

You felt heat rising on your skin the way his eyes roamed all over you, taking in every little detail. The way Logan was looking at you, eyes filled with nothing but love, adoration and lust, made you feel so alive.

He discarded the piece of clothing to the side and began mouthing along your collarbone with affection. You trembled underneath him as he showered you with his attention. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered repeatedly as his mouth travelled all over your exposed skin.

His large hands moved to the curve of your waist where it met your hips and clutched it, holding you tight as he littered damp kisses and nips to your shoulders and any skin along the way down to your breasts. You whimpered as he traced the tip of his nose over the swell of your breast.

He smirked as he looked up at you, breathing in through his nose as he inhaled your scent and you couldn’t help but shiver when he exhaled warmly through his mouth and onto your nipple. “Fuck, baby girl, you’re so hot.”

Then, he wrapped his lips around one nipple, teeth just skimming your skin as he sucked and licked with passion.

“L-Lo,” you mewl as you try to grind your hips against him, your cunt seeking friction as it throbs with need.

“Feeling good kitty?” He quipped back as he grins up at you. You felt your skin flush with heat as you just stared down at him. Lust was written all over your face and he had no trouble reading your expression. So he resumed licking, long, lavishing licks with the flat of his tongue over your pebbled nipple as the other hand which was occupying your other breast, travelled all the way down to your panties. 

As his fingers slipped underneath the band of your lacy underwear, down to where you needed him the most, his mouth fell open to unleash a loud groan onto your nipple as he felt your wetness, sliding his fingers between your soaked folds.

He explored your wet cunt patiently. Heat overwhelmed your senses as Logan continued to litter soft kisses all over your chest. Your hands found his head, running your fingers through his hair as his mouth continued to wander all over your naked skin.

Logan’s lips moved slowly down your body, kissing every little place he could find on your skin while his hands traced along.

Soon, he would retreat his hand from your heat, leaving you a whimpering mess. He then leant forward, his face meeting your sex, breathing in the smell of your pussy, running his nose against the damp patch on your underwear. You whimpered as he inhaled your scent. “Fuck kitten,” he growled as he couldn’t seem to stop smelling you. “This pussy smells so good, I can’t wait to taste ya.”

A devious smile played on Logan’s lips as he looked up at you through his eyelashes. “I am sure you taste just as good as you smell, if not better.” He groaned before taking your underwear between his teeth, while pulling it off your legs slowly. A shuddering breath left your lips, speechless as you watched him take off your lacy panties, becoming needier the longer you watched him. Logan kept looking at you as he slid down your body, pulling it off of you when it reached your ankles.

Once he took them off completely he gently pushed your legs wide for him, whimpering as the air hit your wet slit. He took a moment as his eyes took over you, your glistening centre clenching around nothing as he continued to stare at your wet hole. The man between your legs would moan at the sight. Not much later, Logan smirked as he kissed all the way up to your leg, taking his sweet time to give your body the attention you deserved. He pressed soft kisses from your ankles up to your knees, his hands moving along with his mouth, caressing the insides of your thighs as he gradually moved up your legs.

His lips lingered on your thighs, licking and sucking some kisses on your soft skin, Logan’s lips were so close to where you needed him the most yet he felt so far away.

“So pretty,” he murmured as he guided your legs over either of his shoulders.

You were about to beg as his lips detached from your thigh, only for moments later to feel him nuzzling against your pussy, smearing your juices across his lips and opening you up to his skilled tongue.

You gasp and squirm at the contact of his wet tongue.

He then pulls back for a second, “pussy tastes so good,” he moaned before his fingers moved to spread your outer lips for him. “But I think I'm gonna play with my girl for a bit.” Logan smiled as he slid a finger inside of you, watching the way your body squirmed at the sensation, moaning against the pillow next to you as you tried to muffle yourself.

You moaned as he moved his thick and long finger inside your tight walls. “So wet for me baby girl, you’re literally dripping on my finger,” he said before he pressed some kisses on your pubic bone, making you buck your hips in response. “Easy, kitty, we have all night.”

“L-Logan, please please I need more. Need your mouth and just. More. Pleaseeee need you so ba—” your whining got cut off the moment you felt his lips wrap around your clit, sucked it into his mouth, coaxing a loud but broken moan out of you. “F-Fuck!”

You felt like screaming, you didn’t know what to do with your hands, feeling so lost and overwhelmed with the pleasure Logan was giving you already. He dove between your legs, licking a stripe up through your folds and teasingly dipping his tongue into your entrance along with his finger before he travelled up to your clit, spreading your lips with his wet appendage before sucking your button into his mouth.

The whine that came out of you only drove Logan to seek out more of those heavenly sounds. As his one single digit pumped in and out of you, you couldn’t help but appreciate that his fingers felt so much more pleasurable and thicker than your own. As bliss overwhelmed your senses, you felt your whole body start to tremble. 

Your core began clenching around his finger, begging for more. He pumped his finger in and out of you at a leisurely pace. Instinctively you tried moving your hips, slowly, grinding against his hand and mouth as he moaned. He gave you an intense look as he continued to fuck you with his finger. His eyes couldn’t seem to stay in one place as he admired how beautiful you were underneath him.

You were panting heavily, barely able to think straight, your mind turning hazy as he slowly slipped a second finger inside your tight channel. 

Logan moved them slowly at first as your pussy tried to adjust to the addition. The stretch was overwhelming but oh so satisfying. Little whimpers left your lips as he fucked you with his fingers. He moved his face back to meet yours, engulfing you in a passionate kiss, swallowing all your little mewls.

You gasped, his tongue slipped inside your mouth, kissing you with so much passion, giving you everything he had to offer. “That feels good doesn't it, princess?” Logan groaned as his thumb made contact with your clit. You bucked your hips and nodded quietly. “Use your words pretty girl,” he taunted while he curled his fingers inside you as he played with the sensitive spot inside you.

“Yes, please please Lo, feels… so good.” You moaned loudly.

Soon his lips travelled all the way down your body as whines and whimpers left your trembling lips, silently begging for more — all while he was still finger fucking you.

Logan inhaled your scent as soon as he leaned forward, but didn’t let you wait in anticipation much longer. He wet his lips before his head dipped between your legs, warm tongue licking a slow stripe across your outer lips, all the way up to your button.

“Ah, fuck!” You cried out, your hips bucking off the mattress. 

Squeaky, senseless noises bubbled up from your throat wantonly. Your hips stuttered against him and he just sighed like there was nothing in the world he'd rather do than this, eating you out on your bed.

You were a mess of his name, chanting and stuttering over and over again like a prayer. Your eyes squeezing shut to the point of tears, his mouth licked up your clit, as he continued to finger you while one of his other hands was holding your hip, pinning you to the soft sheets as you bucked into him, trying to urge him to do more.

The way he build up your arousal by pumping his fingers in and out of you, curling up ever so slightly to find the spongy spot inside of you. The familiar coil in your belly continued to build up as Logan suckled on your sensitive bud. Your abdomen tightened as he began quickening his pace again, his fingers hitting into that sweet spot with precision, had your toes curling as you clenched your thighs around his head.

Logan was lapping at you with determination, moving his fingers continuously as he slowly got you to the edge.

“Oh, my—”you whimpered, trembling digits sinking half into his brown hair and the other against your teeth, as you tried to silence yourself. “Fuck, aahh Logan, f-fuck…”

He moaned against you as his lips sealed around your clit and you bucked your hips at the action. Warmth spread throughout your whole body as he began talking you through it. “Fuckin’- you taste so good. Feels so good. You’re just… everything.”

You whimpered as he continued. “Come on,” he grunted as he pumped his fingers faster in and out of you. “Come on baby, cum for me.” 

“Ah, d-daddy,” You gasped loudly as your whole body trembled even more, the hot familiar feeling continued to spread all over your body, your body tingling, your hips moving at their own accord against Logan’s hand and face. Totally unaware of the word that slipped past your lips as your body tensed as he called you ‘a good girl’ and shortly after you came against his mouth and around his fingers. 

“That’s my girl.”

Your whole mind felt like exploding and all you could see were stars. You felt so overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure and emotions you were experiencing. Your body still trembled as you felt yourself come down from your high.

As you slowly came back to your senses you felt him gently pull his fingers out of your pulsing hole. But you still felt Logan’s mouth on you, licking and sucking at your pussy and it didn’t feel like he was gonna stop any time soon. You whined as he moaned against you while he licked against your tight entrance, licking up your release, his tongue prodding your slick hole.

“‘S too much.” You whimpered at the overstimulation.

Logan ignored your pleas, moaning against your heat as he continued to eat you out. The man you adored so much between your legs kept sliding his tongue up and down your sensitive slit. Your little mewls and other noises of ecstasy spurred him on, to move his lips back up to your clit, sucking the nub softly between his lips. 

“You love having daddy eat your sweet pussy don’t you?” He smirked, looking up at your flustered and embarrassed face as he continued licking your soaked cunt. “No need to be embarrassed, baby. I like it.”

The walls of your pussy clenched furiously, the empty feeling inside you intensifying with every lick, and as your wetness trickled out of you, your core practically begged him to fill it up.

“Oh sweet girl.” Logan tutted as you began grinding your hips against his face as moans kept spilling from your lips. “You’re so sensitive, kitten.” He chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your clit. 

Eventually he leaned down, finally slipping his tongue into your entrance, he curled the muscle upward to brush your walls, the sight of your fingers bunching the fabric of the sheets in a tight grip encouraged him to do it again and again.

Writhing below him, you felt him lick up and press against a sensitive spot inside that had you seeing stars, while your hips bucked against his face uncontrollably. Your fingers moved once again, gripping onto his dark hair rather harshly as you pushed your hips against his face shoving his tongue deeper inside your hole.

“Please,” you begged. “‘M close.”

“Please what?” He taunted as he continued to lick your heat.

“P-please,” you stuttered and paused before finishing timidly. “Daddy.”

“Good girl,” he said before plunging his tongue back inside you as his thumb came up to press against your little bundle of nerves. Moments later, the tension snapped inside your lower tummy, cumming with a loud whine, your hips stuttered as your vision blurred. You cried out his name, your voice unable to remain steady. 

Your hips stuttered until the final waves of aftershock pass. As you slowly came back down to reality again while you tried to catch your breath, you heard him praising you softly while he continued to lap at your wetness gently. You whined and nudged him away with your leg, only to react with a chuckle.

“Taste so good, baby. Could eat your sweet pussy all day.” He grinned as he licked the wetness off his mouth. Logan smirked, holding eye contact with you as he brought his glistening fingers to his mouth.

You giggled as he licked his fingers clean, feeling slightly embarrassed by the action. Trying to hide your flushed face, you lazily raised your hands to cover it, but Logan wasn’t having any of it. With a gentle smile, he placed tender kisses all over your hands, pulling them down slowly. Then, he leaned in closer, pressing sweet kisses to your nose, your forehead, and both your cheeks before finally capturing your lips. Each kiss was playful, filled with warmth, as laughter bubbled softly between you, his grin widening against your mouth.

He pulled away with a satisfied sigh, a warm smile spreading across his face as he reached to touch the side of your neck, tracing his fingertips up and down.

You exhaled as you melted at the feel of his touch and kissed his thumb as it came to trace across your lips. Your shaky legs wrapped around his hips, and with a playful gleam in your eyes, you gave his thumb a tender lick, holding his gaze as you rubbed your still sensitive heat against his clothed cock.

“F-fuck, you can’t just do that kitten.” He groaned as his hands came to hold your hips, stilling your movements.

You whined, pouting as you looked up at him. “Why not?”

“It’s hard to control myself around you.” He grunted as he started grinding his cock against you. Your gaze wandered downward, following the line of the vein near his V-line as it disappeared beneath his grey sweatpants. You couldn’t help but whine underneath him as he continued to grind his covered cock against your growing wetness. You gasped after giving you a particular hard thrust, that’s when you realised and felt he wasn’t wearing any underwear underneath them. He felt massive. “I’ve been trying to control myself for years. I think I’d have to control myself a bit longer.”

“W-why?” you hiccuped as he kept rutting his hips into yours.

“Don’t wanna hurt ya.” He mumbled, as his cock strained against his sweatpants.

“But I know you won’t.” You said, your voice steady, filled with all the confidence you could summon. You watched as his jaw clenched, his grip tightening slightly as he held himself back, resisting the urge to just take you like he always wanted.

“How are you so certain?” His breath hitched when you tightened your legs around him.

“I-I, because I trust you.” You continued to stutter as you both rolled your hips against each other. His eyes darkened with desire, but you could tell he was trying to restrain himself, fighting against what he truly wanted, even though the tension between you was nearly unbearable. Still, you held his gaze, unwavering. “Because you love me.”

Logan groaned, his eyes squeezing shut as he fought to keep control, every muscle in his body tense with the effort. You could see the conflict etched across his face, the battle between what he wanted and what he was trying to hold back. His grip on you tightened slightly, a sign of the restraint still lingering in him, though it was slowly slipping away. His breathing was ragged, and for a moment, you thought he might give in. But then, he swallowed hard, forcing himself to stay still, clinging to the last shred of restraint that hadn’t left him yet. “You don’t know how hard this is,” he muttered through gritted teeth, his voice thick with desire. “How difficult it’s been, every day since I met you, trying to hold back while being around you.”

“I think I do, Logan,” you whispered, gazing up at him. “Maybe not in the exact way you feel it, but I’ve struggled too, convincing myself daily that I could never have you. And now, realising I could’ve had you from the start—it’s almost unbearable.” You bit your lip, noticing how his expression softened. “That’s why I don’t want us to hold back anymore. I don’t think I can endure it any longer. Please, I need you, Logan. I love you, and I’ll always want you—”

Your words were cut off as Logan surged towards you, cupping your face as he kissed you passionately. His lips moved fervently against yours, as if he was trying to make up for every moment of restraint. Making up for any lost time. The intensity of his kiss made your head spin, your heartbeat quickening as you melted into his embrace. His hands then started roaming around your body, his hold on you tightening occasionally, pulling you closer, while his breath grew heavy as you felt every emotion as he kissed you. You clung to him, pouring out every feeling and emotion out with every heated kiss.

“I love you,” Logan murmured between tender kisses, breathlessly whispering your name.

Your own hands began wandering all over his body and eventually down his solid chest until your fingers met his abdomen, slipping momentarily underneath the waistband of his sweatpants. With a mix of urgency and desire, you tugged at them while whimpering underneath him as you continued to kiss him deeply.

“Just relax, baby. I’ve got you,” he whispered softly after pulling away from the kiss. He eventually took it upon himself to slowly peel back, shuffling a bit to rid himself of the last piece of fabric on his body. He tossed it aside, fully exposing himself to your hungry eyes.

Your breath hitched, your eyes wide. Fuck, he was massive. Long and thick in all the right ways. Just as you thought, the vein between his V Lines moved down to his cock. A spark of heat shot down to your pulsing core as you imagined how he would fit or fill you up. But it was also accompanied by a twinge of nerves.

Logan chuckled as he moved closer to you, his lips chasing your own as he enveloped you in another sweet but deep kiss. 

The two of you kissed languidly for a moment, treasuring the heat of each other's bodies as your lips slot together with ease, but soon enough the kisses become deeper, more frantic and hands start to grip tighter and legs tangling together. 

It's like you're both starved, this insatiable hunger for each other. 

You couldn’t help but roll your hips against his to feel his thick cock. You whined as it turned slick as you kept grinding yourself against him, and he had no trouble gliding his hips against you and rutting it into your clit.

You gasped openly into his mouth, desire growing quickly. You were so wet. Logan swallowed your whines with his lips against yours, hips rolling against you. He kissed you full with fervour, his grip on you intensifying heatedly.

He held his length in his hand as he kept rubbing the head of his cock from your entrance, up to your clit, circling until you were squirming underneath him, and back down. The thought of his thickness finally entering your pussy made you wetter by the second, turning you more on. Logan swallowed your little mewls with his mouth, his hips rolling with yours.

You were trembling against him, full of anticipation. His body covered your whole body with his. You writhed against him, wishing he was just in you already and filling you up and consuming you with pleasure once again.

“P-please, Logan.” You stuttered, your body trembling underneath him as you waited for his next move. 

Logan hummed as he concentrated while circling your clenching hole teasingly. You arched your back slightly as you whined, silently begging to finally fill your pussy the way you’ve always wanted him to do.

“Relax, baby girl.” He whispered after he licked and kissed underneath your ear.

“Please d-daddy, I-I need you.” You whimpered in anticipation. Logan would grunt loudly before nudging the tip of his cock against your soaked hole. Your legs trembled underneath him, a mix of nerves and excitement. “Want you to fill this little pussy. Need you t-to fill it with more than your cock. N-need your cum.” You whispered seductively against his ear as his last bit of restraint snaps. 

At your words, Logan gradually put more pressure on your entrance making you whimper underneath him, once he finally slid his tip inside you, a gasp elicited from the both of you.

You’re aware this was just barely the tip of him, but you couldn’t help but feel the stretch burn already. Logan slid in so slowly it was agonising. You cried out as he gradually pushed more of his pulsing cock inside your own clenching hole. He was so big.

You tangled your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling slightly as you whined underneath him. He panted along with you, his warm breath fanning over your face while he kept his forehead pressed against yours. The stretch stung, but his pace kept it bearable. He guided himself a centimetre further, then another, another, until you were digging your nails into his scalp, a gasp spilling from your lips.

His hips stilled instantly once he heard the pained noises falling from your lips. Tears began to prickle at your waterline, a combination of discomfort and the overwhelming feelings that were coursing through you.

“Doing so good for me baby,” he praised as he peppered your face with gentle kisses. “You’re doing so good for me.”

“Please,” you whimpered as your eyes fluttered close.

Logan continued to move almost painfully slow, letting you adjust to every centimetre of him. After a couple of seconds you were able to relax more into it. You whimpered, clutching his shoulders at the stretch, the heat in your abdomen growing as your walls fluttered around him, pleasure beginning to bloom in your stomach.

“So full…” you whined.

“Such a good girl,” he grunted softly. You think there wasn’t a possibility to get more wet but as he utters those words you felt your heat get even more wet. He leaned down as he kissed your lips gently, as he filled you up bit by bit. He hoped the sweetness of his embrace would soften the sting.

You’re trembling as you canted your hips up, begging for him to fill you to the brim, while you gripped the bedsheets between your fingers. “Please Lo, need more. I can take it, daddy.” You whimpered as you involuntarily and repeatedly tightened around his thick cock.

He groaned at your desperate whines, losing his composure momentarily as he thrust the rest of his length all the way inside your tiny hole. The head of his dick kissing your cervix once he bottomed out. You cried out as you were trembling underneath him, trying to adjust to his size while your pussy kept pulsing around his cock.

“Fuck, so fuckin’ tight.” He hissed as he let you adjust to his cock. 

His lips came to press soft and tender kisses all over your face as he let you relax. Tears brimmed at the corners of your eyes as you continued to adjust around him. You felt so full, as if he was made for you, and only you. The feeling of him filling you up so completely had you seeing stars and digging fingernails into his shoulders. You felt one of his hands finding your hand, lacing them with yours as the other one reached up to your face.

His breathing was heavy as you squeezed his cock repeatedly. Small whimpers left your lips as you squirm underneath him.

You needed more. 

You hadn’t even realised your eyes had drifted shut until you slowly opened them, gazing up at Logan with a soft, pleading look. “Please, Logan.”

“What do you need, sweetheart?” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that vibrated deep in his chest.

“Need more.” You whispered.

“Aww, does my sweet girl need me to move?” he teased, tilting his head with a playful smirk.

“Need you, please.” You begged as your pussy clenched around his thick cock rather hard which made him groan above you. “Please, I need you to fuck me so bad.”

His breath hitched as he exhaled shakily, before nodding quietly. Slowly, he started moving inside you, gentle but deep. One hand reached down to play with your clit, while the other one went to intertwine your fingers together, holding your hand tightly. 

The sting hurt for a while, but it easily morphed into a more pleasurable feeling as he moved against you. You’re so overstimulated from all your previous orgasms that the sensation he was giving you was mixed between pain and pleasure.

He grunted as he dropped his head to your ear to kiss and lick at the sensitive skin just below it. Soon enough the pain would completely disappear and all you could feel was pure bliss.

Slowly, you were getting used to his girth, anticipating it every time he pulled out of you before moving forward. Your legs are splayed open on either side of his hips as he ground his cock into you. The angle was so good, gradually he would pick up his pace, leaving you a whimpering mess underneath him. As he fucked into you in languid strokes, the sound of slick skin and your noises of pleasure could be heard in your bedroom.

“How do you feel?” he whispered against your ear.

“Feels so good.” You moaned as you tightened around his cock, this time voluntarily.

You whimpered as he picked up the pace, angling himself in a certain way inside you. He finally leaned down to wrap his arms around you, the action elicited a gasp out of you as you grab at the sheets around you, as he fucked you harder and faster.

Every time he’d thrust inside you, his pelvic bone would drag along your throbbing clit, making you cry out his name in pure ecstasy. 

“You’re taking me so well, sweet girl. Doing so so, good for me.” He whispered against your skin as he moved to nuzzle his face against your neck.

Soft grunts fell from Logan’s lips whenever he hit a specific deep spot inside you. You whimpered as his lips moved back up to your lips, enveloping them in a heated kiss. You melted completely against him, holding you close to him as he fucked you. He snaked one of his hands down between your conjoined bodies finding your clit as he rubbed two fingers over the sensitive nub.

At a certain point you felt him slide into a pressure point in your core and coupled with the way his fingers circled your clit, it had you clenching like a vise around his dick. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head from the pleasure he was providing you. The whimpers that fell from your lips became higher pitched as he picked up his pace.

“Feeling good, kitten?” He groaned, as his lips curled into a mischievous smile as he admired the way your face twisted in pure bliss. Too overwhelmed by the new experience. Filth and praise continued to come out of his mouth as he fucked you. “This pussy was made for daddy.”

His mouth covered your own instead as he swallowed all your little noises of pleasure, you could feel the tightness return in your belly, the tight coil that pulls tighter with every movement and every touch.

Your whimpers, gasps of pleasure and pants increased as ecstasy and warmth overwhelmed your senses.

“Taking daddy’s cock so well, baby.”

His hands couldn’t get enough of you, sliding around your hips and lower back, wanting to feel all of you, touch you everywhere. You whimpered at the feeling of his speed, feeling another orgasm coming so close, eyes tightly shut and legs locked bruisingly around Logan’s hips. He could feel it too, in the way you clenched and squeezed around his length, and he began to drive even harder into your pussy as he tilted his hips gently, searching for the one place that he hoped would blow your mind.

“Ah, daddy—” you hiccuped as he fucked you so good you felt like a blabbering mess. “Need you to come inside my pussy...”

“Is that what you want?” He growled as you pulsed around him. “Can’t believe it… it’s your first time and you’re already begging for me to cum inside. So filthy. You’re close aren’t ya?”

You nodded furiously as your arms trembled as they wrapped around him, your nails digging in his back as he moaned on top of you. The feeling of the coil tightening in your belly, was tingling down to your legs, ready to snap at any moment.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, cursing under his breath when you purposefully tighten your walls around him. “Bet you’d look even prettier with my cum inside your pussy. All full and messy.”

“Please…” you moaned as you thought about him filling you up. “Please Lo, baby, daddy… please fill this pussy up.”

He grunted as he buried his face into your neck as he fucked into you, making the whole bed rattle at his force.

“You want to cum pretty girl?”

You nodded frantically at his words while your eyes fluttered close as you bit your lip harshly. You were bucking up beneath him, nails digging into his skin even more as his hand moved back to your clit as another came to intertwine your hands together, pinning them to the bed. He rubbed your clit with enough pressure to ensure you’ll cum around him.

“Cum for daddy.” Logan demands softly.

And when he finally nudged against that spot inside you coupled with his deep voice– you were exploding, shattering, and detonating all at once, as you cried out his name. Blood was rushing so wildly in your ears that you couldn’t possibly hear the way you wail and sob as he crashed his lips onto yours, swallowing all your noises. Your head lolled back, your back arching violently as you twist and contort in pleasure underneath him.

“That’s it, good girl.” Logan moaned in your ear as your walls spasmed and pulsed around his cock, begging him to cum inside, desperate for him to fill you up the way he promised.

“Fuck,” he groaned, pushing himself up as he thrust deeper into you, the head of his cock hitting your cervix repeatedly. “You want me to fill this pussy up? Make it all messy?”

You were still in a daze but you were able to understand him so you nod vigorously at his words, whining even more at the sensitivity. Your pussy squeezed around his cock in anticipation. “Please…”

“Fuck, take it baby.” It washed over him instantly, hips stuttering into you as he grew desperate, eyes squeezing shut when he felt his cock throb inside of you before hot spurts of his seed splashed along your walls, painting them in ribbons of white. The warmth of his seed filled you up and spread inside your pussy. The feeling made you whimper, limbs limp on the bed as he shallowly thrust into you, making sure you took every last drop. 

His warm cum filled you up deeply, the mild heat of it settling deep inside you and causing you to squirm under him. Logan panted as he let his body slump against yours. He rested on top of you, trying to steady his breath. His cock was still nuzzled deep within you, still half hard as it kept his cum from leaking out.

It was a blurry haze when you came back to your senses, your whole body was aching whilst simultaneously feeling the most relaxed you've ever been, equally as exhausted as it was energised, and you didn’t bother trying to question why. Just pure contentment.

Once both of you caught your breaths, Logan leaned his forehead against yours before kissing you tenderly.

“That was…” He breathed, smiling tiredly at the complete dopey mess he's made of you; hair all over the place and eyes lidded heavily, heated skin glowing and your lips looking swollen from all the kisses you’ve both shared.

“Oh yeah, that was mind blowing.” Your voice came out hoarse, still recovering from the height and volume it had gone, and you cleared your throat gently before you smiled up at him.

“I love you.” He whispered before he captured your lips in a deep and lazy kiss. You could feel his soft mouth smiling against yours as you whimpered against him. You felt yourself melting against his embrace as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I love you too.” You whispered back against his mouth. 

You shifted slightly when you felt that he was still hard inside you. Biting your lip, you squeezed purposely around him at the realisation. Logan groaned at the feeling, his large palms sliding up your sides in a soothing manner. 

“Don’t do that.” Logan grumbled but you saw a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

“Why not?” You giggled as your hands trailed through his hair.

“Makes me wanna fuck you again.” Your boyfriend mumbled.

“Hm, that’s kind of the point.” You continued to giggle.

Logan chuckled as he pulled his head back, looking at you with a mirthful smile.

Before you knew it, he pulled out only to man handle your body in the position he wanted you to be. Manoeuvres your body until you’re on your tummy. His hands came to hold your hips, pulling them up, your ass in the air for him.

He kneads the flesh of your cheeks before spreading them apart for him. Your body slumps slightly forward with exhaustion but Logan is quick to grip your hips, holding you in the same position. “Oh kitten, I’m not done with you yet.” He tutted. 

Your cheeks flushed with heat as you prepared yourself for a long night filled with passion.

thank you for reading 🩷🩷🩷

[dnd-writes]

Looking Up

AO3

Tags: toy!Haseul, master!reader, sexual slavery, public humiliation, masturbation, master/slave, dom/sub, slapping, impact play, humiliation, dacryphilia, degradation, name calling, self degradation, begging, punishment, dub-con?, rough oral sex, deepthroat, choking, gagging, breath play, fear play, biting, floor cleaning, painal, hair pulling, more slapping, emotion play, somewhat/barely edited

Warning: Well, the tags speak for themselves. Lots of generally degrading things plus a bunch of stuff that isn't usually seen in fics (or at least I don't usually see). Also gets a little more harsh/violent than what most people would probably be used to so... yeah, just full of degeneracy so uhh... enjoy!

A/N: Longest fic I've written amounting to just a little above 6k words wtf I didn't even notice (at first, until I started adding random stuff to meet the mark). Honestly I had a vision for this fic in mind which kinda got lost as I made it so if it feels a little over the place or if it bounces from this to that and that to this then I apologize. Also, while writing this, I was also writing the sequel fic somewhat alongside it. I'm not gonna go to detail about it to avoid spoilers but at the end I'll put a poll regarding the sequel so when you're done with this or you wanna skip right to the end then don't forget to vote, thank you!

Being a leader of a group can be tiring enough, what more when there are 12 total members? Everyone in the group looks up to Haseul, she’s so caring and loving, she’s almost like the mother in the group. Always taking care of her members, always comforting them, always being there for them, it can get tiring for her sometimes but the way everyone looks so happy and content is enough of a reward for the struggles she faces having to deal with her 11 girls. They love her and she loves them back.

However, sometimes Haseul wants something else, needs something else, something totally the opposite of her current position in the group. She needs someone to look up to, someone to be her leader, someone to hold her. Haseul found it impossible to ask her groupmates about this problem, she just couldn’t bring herself to talk to them about it, every time she thought she was ready to speak no words came out of her mouth. It wasn’t just embarrassment or fear, there was something in her holding herself back from reaching out, something within her preventing her from telling even the closest people in her life about such a deeply disturbing problem that’s affecting her.

That’s when she realized that even if she told anyone about it, even her closest friends and family, there was nothing they could do to appease that inner desire of hers. That’s when she realized that she needs a complete stranger to fulfill her darkest needs, someone who wouldn’t judge such a need that she has, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to deliver through with her requests. That’s when she realized that it’s more than just having a leader, more than just having someone to look up to, more than just an external force. That’s when she realized that her needs reach far deeper than she thought, not just her mind or her heart but rather her whole body needs it. That’s when she realized she doesn’t need a leader, she needs an owner. She doesn’t need someone to look up to, she needs to look up at someone. She doesn’t want to be someone important, she wants to be nobody. She doesn’t want to comfort, she wants to be hurt. 

= = = = =

“What’s taking you so long?” You can see on Haseul’s face that she’s tired from whatever it is she did prior to calling you, she puts on a dainty smile but it’s wiped away so quickly with how stern you sound. A nervous chuckle escaped her lips before finally answering, “Uhhh… I left a little late—” Haseul pulls the microphone on her earbuds closer to her mouth “—Master.” A whisper so faint even you could barely hear it but you didn’t press her to say it louder, public humiliation wasn’t on your agenda today, you have something else in store for Haseul when she finally reaches you, especially after having to make you wait for so long.

“Didn’t I tell you to be here at 4 sharp?” Your tone is gradually rising as you speak and you just see Haseul on your screen sink deeper into her seat out of humiliation.

“But we had—” “No ‘buts’ what did I tell you? I don’t care what you’re doing or where you’re at, if I set a time, you should be here at that time. Maybe I should just call s—”

“NO!” Haseul covers her mouth as she reactively opposes you. Her expression quickly changes to one of panic, both from screaming inside a tiny car and from even daring to go against your wishes. She quickly apologizes to the driver then bows her body as much as she can to apologize to you. “I-I mean… do whatever you want, Master. I am sorry.”

If there’s one thing to describe Haseul it’s determination and she wants nothing more in the world than to have your gaze to be solely on her, just the mere thought or mention of any of your other toys makes her desperate to the point where she goes against everything else, goes against her “code” just to keep you to herself.

You check your list of schedules and it seems like Haseul is the only one available for at least two more hours, so even if you wanted to give her emotional pain, the best you could really do is bluff. Not that it would matter to Haseul, she will believe any word you will say—the real problem is with your needs, without Haseul or any other toy, you’ll be left alone and sexually frustrated.. “Fine.” Just one word is enough to make Haseul bounce joyfully in her seat then immediately after she puts a serious face on, ready to follow any order you give her even from inside a taxi.

You didn’t really intend on doing it but given that you don’t have any other toys to play with at the moment, it will have to do. “What are you wearing?” you ask and Haseul simply extends her arm and angled the phone at her body, from seeing a view of just her face to everything but. A black camisole and jean shorts, a very typical outfit for her. Nothing too special about it aside from lots of skin and slight curvature of her chest along her tight top.

“Take it all off, play with yourself.” Although she’s in a stranger’s car, Haseul doesn’t hesitate to follow orders. You see her unbutton her shorts then not-so-elegantly shimmy them past her hips, it is a struggle enough having to remove them with her ass in the way but using only one hand while seated in a car makes it even harder. This isn’t the graceful strip tease Haseul hoped it would be, her smile weakens and you can just see the panic slowly start to build up within her. You’re simply watching her and yet the prospect of disappointing you acts like surveillance on her entire being. 

Haseul forgoes visual for speed but ends up grunting just a little too loudly, she freezes for a split second, looking over to the front before resuming her poor attempt at an elegant show. After a tedious couple of seconds, Haseul finally manages to get her shorts past her hips and it smoothly sails down her legs and onto the floor. What’s left behind is her shaved pussy, wet and ready for any debauchery you plan to bring upon her.

She lowers herself in her seat, trying to conceal herself as much as possible from the driver and potentially from other cars who might just peer through the window. As opposed to her shorts, her top and bra lift over her chest with ease, revealing her full round breasts to you—above her mounds you can see faded black ink spelling out the word “SLAVE” just beneath her bunched up clothing, still not fully erased from yesterday’s session. 

Haseul spreads her legs as much as she can then sticks her ring and middle into her snatch. She chooses not to go fast so as to not alert the driver of how she’s defiling his vehicle but you have other plans. “Cum for me, Haseul. Before you get here I want you to cum in that seat.” Haseul’s eyes widen from nervousness, this is the most humiliating thing you’ve asked her to do ever since you strolled her around naked in the middle of the night but her calling to serve and obey you stands above all and not a second later her eyes glitter with resolve. 

Haseul ups her pace while trying to be discreet as possible, with one hand holding the phone and the other busy with her pussy, best she can do to not be noticed is to bite her lips down and hope the car is loud enough to drown the wet sounds emanating from fingering herself.

If traffic is how it usually is like other days then that means Haseul only has a few minutes to complete her task so you sit back and wait to see how Haseul approaches this. What makes this even funner is seeing the struggle on Haseul’s face as she tries to get herself off in subpar conditions—only slightly comfortable, not able to moan, not having her tits played with, and not having your cock in her makes it so hard for her but Haseul’s determination keeps her going, that and the fact that she doesn’t want to upset you.

By the second it’s getting harder for Haseul to maintain herself, her lips start to part every now and then, sometimes she catches herself mid-moan and bites down on her lips to quiet herself, other times they slip right past and cause such lewd sounds to fill the dead air. You smile seeing your toy so obedient and Haseul flashes a quick smile in return of your approval of her. Your smile seems to trigger something else in her as you see her chest start to heave faster and her fingers to pump harder, your effect on her is huge even if all you did was curl your lips upward.

She adds her index to the mix and by now she’s slowly starting to lose herself to the heat of the moment. Her eyes slowly start to close and her mouth stays wide open. You can even start to hear her fingers pistoning in and out of her pussy together with lewd squelching, her moans start to get louder too as she slowly forgets about the situation she’s in. You wonder what’s going on in that head of hers but you decide not to disturb her lest you break her concentration. 

Total ignorance of her surroundings as Haseul treats her digits like a cock wanting to cum deep inside of her, her pussy leaks so much that it coats her hand and the seat in her own juices, her moans turn to shouts of passion as her hips grind against her hand. You notice Haseul starting to arch her back and her legs closing around her fingers, she’s close and you both know it. Maybe she will be able to do something that pleases you for once today.

That is, until the car comes to a complete stop. You look out of your window and there you see the taxi and you can kinda see Haseul still going at it inside. It’s only when the driver clears his throat that she notices she’s at her destination “Ma’am… ummm, we’re here.” Haseul’s eyes go completely wide as she looks forward at the driver’s seat but the shock of finding out that the driver sees her in such a state doesn’t compare to when she looks at her phone to see your blank stare. You let out a sigh and shake your head. “Just pay him well for his troubles. Leave your clothes there, I’ll meet you inside.” Your deadpan delivery is like a knife through her heart, you can see Haseul on the verge of tears just by talking to her like that. 

Haseul takes out two yellow bills from her wallet and hands them to the driver using her clean hand. “K-Keep the change,” she says as she bows profusely before exiting the taxi. You see Haseul step out of the vehicle in full nude, the neighborhood isn’t that packed with houses spaced far enough apart from each other but hopefully a neighbor or two gets a nice show of a busty woman running up to your house.

Haseul tries to greet you with a warm smile but the disappointment on your face makes her want to ball up in shame. You take her bag and throw it across the room, Haseul’s face is full of fear, not from the potential damage to her belongings but with how you stare her down. You grab her by the neck and pin her against the wall, Haseul immediately starts to choke and her hands involuntarily rise to meet yours but make no attempt to pull you off of her.

“I told you to be here by 5, not 5:30 but 5.” Your free hand rises and comes crashing down straight onto Haseul’s cheek immediately leaving a bright red mark on it. “Master, we—” The back of your hand meets her other cheek, for you it stings a little as you make contact but you’re sure Haseul gets the worse end. “Excuses, excuses, excuses. Don’t you bullshit me with any of that.”

“What’s this?” You point at the word still tattooed to her chest “Can’t even clean yourself properly?” Another offense, another slap. “And you can’t even cum when I ask you to, you’ve disappointed me thrice today, before even setting foot in my place. Three times, Haseul, just be thankful no one else is around or else I would have sent you away by now.” Another backhand strikes Haseul and tears start to stream down her face. “If you ever disappoint me again today, I’m calling someone else in. I’m gonna tie you up and make you watch as I fuck someone else and call them my favorite toy.”

You let go of Haseul and she crumbles into a sobbing mess on the floor, she kneels and holds onto your legs, crying and begging. “I’m sorry, Master. I-I’ll do anything, be anything. Treat me like a whore, use me how you see fit.” It’s such an empowering feeling having such a respected woman like Haseul be on her knees with her ass hanging higher than her own head and completely belittling herself for your own pleasure.

Haseul stays put, not moving an inch from her position if not told to. You bend down and caress her ass, your hand travels down along her spine and meets her head where you grab a handful of her long black hair and tug her upright. Haseul’s face is such a mess, one side is reddened while the other is slightly bruised.

You pull your pants down and bring your cock out. Before Haseul can even ready herself, you’re already pushing yourself past her lips, showing no remorse as you completely sheathe yourself in her mouth. Haseul chokes and gags repeatedly, spewing spit out of the corners of her lips faster than tears can come out of her eyes.

You grip the sides of Haseul’s head and repeatedly slam her face against your pelvis, she coughs every time you hilt and it’s just one of the most pleasant sounds you’ve heard all day. You don’t stop to even consider her well-being, not even giving her a chance to adjust herself or at least prepare, sometimes you even forget that the thing you’re using is less of a thing and more of a living breathing human-being.

Haseul keeps eye contact with you, through the pain, through the tears, her stare says a lot. Her stare tells you to keep going, to not stop, to give her the punishment she deserves. 

There’s no love, no care, no sympathy, no passion that goes into every shove you make against the back of her head. It’s all just anger and lust powering your hands and hips, just all the stress and sexual aggression expressed with the way you make Haseul take your entire length inside of her mouth. However, it’s not enough, you need more, Haseul needs more. Simply using her head like your own personal fleshlight isn’t enough, not degrading enough, not dehumanizing enough. This isn’t even entirely a punishment, it’s just one of Haseul’s many duties as a toy dialed up to an 11.

You pinch her nose closed and Haseul’s teary eyes begin to resonate with fear once more. Instantly you begin to feel her throat tighten as she struggles to breathe through her mouth. She tries to breathe in some air when your cock has mostly gone out of the way but then you just thrust in again while Haseul is inhaling and she chokes more intensely than before. You didn’t think her mouth could have been any better but here you are now, enjoying the best blowjob you’ve had in a while from someone nearly about to pass out.

Haseul lightly taps on your leg to give some warning but rather than slow down you just speed up, giving her less room to get oxygen. You begin to feel the rise of an overpowering sensation but at the same time you start to see Haseul’s eyes slowly closing. You quickly pull out and Haseul heavily gasps for air, mouthing a silent “Thank you” as she looks at you with grateful eyes. 

After a few huffs you thrust back inside while Haseul’s in the middle of taking in some air. She chokes uncontrollably and it only serves as intense pleasure for you as her throat constricts you harder than any other body part of hers could manage. You pinch her nose again while keeping your other hand firmly on the back of her head. You start to thrust your hips in time with each slam of her head, ridding whatever sense of care you have left for her. With the added pressure around your girth it didn’t take long for you to start erupting inside Haseul, the first few bursts went straight down but you made sure that the rest pools up on her tongue. 

You pull yourself out and Haseul collapses again, this time on her side. She holds her neck as she coughs wildly, spilling a lot of spit and cum in front of her. After, she lays quietly on her side, mouth open, drool dripping, making an absolute mess on your pristine floor. You grab Haseul’s bag and rummage through her belongings to find her phone then you start taking pics of her pathetically lying on the ground. “Aww, look at you, so pretty down there.” You then get close to her face and take close-up shots of her disheveled face with all the different liquids covering it. “This one looks perfect,” you say as you change her wallpaper to one of the pictures you’ve taken, replacing the one from the previous session which was her mouth full of piss. You take a few more pictures of Haseul from different angles before putting her phone aside.

Finally done with your fun, you nudge Haseul with your foot, “Get up, clean your mess.” However, Haseul doesn’t budge so you tap her with your foot again, “I said clean your mess, don’t make me ask a third time.” You can tell that she’s listening to you with the way she tries to move her body but fails to find the strength to move. Growing impatient, you take matters into your own hands. You roll her over on her stomach and press her face against the cold tile, immediately you can hear her mouth sucking away at the spill she has created. 

As you leave Haseul to work like a makeshift vacuum, you kneel and turn your attention to hear rear, raised high up to be presented just for you. Her legs shimmer under the light, covered in a fresh coat of her own juices, you glance and confirm a wet stain on your floor where she once knelt. You slide two fingers across her slit and gather up her nectar. You give it a little lick then give an unamused sigh, it’s still that same salty taste with a bit of sweetness. Not nearly as delicious as any of the others you have tasted, maybe you should start controlling her diet too, you make a mental note for yourself for the future

“You haven’t came yet, right Haseul?” you ask as you stick the same two fingers inside her cunt, Haseul squirms at the sudden invasion of her entrance. “N-No, Master,” she momentarily stops cleaning the floor to answer, there’s a hint of hope in her voice, perhaps longing to finally climax ever since her escapade in the taxi. But you have no plans for that, instead you push her head back down, “Keep it that way. Since your pussy has disappointed me already today, I think I’ll use your ass. If you cum before I do, well let’s just say I won’t be happy about it.” You give her a spank as you chuckle, a sick and twisted game for you to enjoy and for her to suffer through. Haseul’s body tenses up and her rim puckers as you mention the last line, she was close to release prior to her arrival so keeping it in for longer would be a pain. “Yes, Master, I will.” The pain and sadness is evident in her voice, trying her best to keep it together.

You line yourself up and instantly push through into her sphincter, the two of you groan out loud as it proves harder to penetrate Haseul’s ass this time around. You can feel Haseul tightening herself up, creating a grip so strong it rivals that of her air-deprived throat. Continue to push, dig your fingers into her flesh as you pull her hips towards you. Grunt as every inch gets slowly devoured by her ass, slowly but surely you make your way deeper and deeper until you feel her skin touch with yours. It feels tighter than her mouth but that’s all it’s got going for it, doesn’t have the choking sensation of her throat, the wet and rough feeling of her tongue, or the warm embrace of her lips. If you could fuck her face the way you did earlier all the time then you would do it but what you want is to harm her, not impair her.

You keep yourself still and bask in the effort of Haseul squeezing herself around you but other than that, there’s nothing else except for the sounds of heavy breathing. You tug on Haseul’s hair and lift her up, on the floor remains some of the mess she had made prior but regardless it remains. You pull her so that your mouth can reach her ear then you whisper, “Didn’t I tell you to clean that up already?” You lick the back of her ear then bite on it, Haseul shouts in pain, if you bit any stronger you probably would have made it bleed. “Y-Yes, Master. I’m sorry, I will do my job,” she says frantically. You slowly lower her but halfway down you let go and let her fall, Haseul barely catches herself just in time to not faceplant on the ground.

As she starts lapping the floor up like a thirsty dog, you feel her ass unclench every now and then. It seems like having her focus split between a degrading task and a mind-numbing condition is too much for her to handle all at once. 

You begin to slide out slowly, then back in, then out, then in. Finding a relaxed pace to start with, you aren’t entirely cynical, you want to see Haseul succeed in at least one task you’ve assigned her. You continue to pace your cock in and out of her ass while listening to a cycle of moans, heavy breaths, and sucks coming from way below you.

Sing a tune in your head, gauge the passing seconds. Count the time in your head but without a clock you couldn’t really be truly sure, has it been a minute? Maybe two? Three? Did you sing too fast? Too slow? Regardless you start counting down from sixty, mentally giving Haseul one last minute to see if she can do it. You’re rooting for her, really, it’s a little sad seeing Haseul fail so many things in so little time, it’s unlike her. As much as she voices out how much she deserves punishment, she much prefers serving and obeying every command and order you give her.

“Five… four… three… two… one…” Time is up for your human mop. You pull out completely then tug her hair back forcefully. You look over her shoulder to assess the floor, you’re happy to see that it’s clean—but as you look closely, you see just a few drops of white still staining the ground. Haseul gasps as she notices it too, you turn to her and she breaks down crying. “I-I’m sorry, Master, I failed you. I don’t mean to disappoint you like this, p-punish me, hurt me… I-I deserve this for being so useless.”

You smile as you hear the sweet and delicate words escape Haseul’s lips, it really is an invigorating feeling, having all this power over someone, having so much influence over her that even simple changes in your expression can make or break her.

You let go of Haseul and stand. Unprompted, she turns around and kneels by your feet, a predicament she’s found herself countless times in the past that she no longer needs to be told what to do. She keeps her hands on her lap, her eyes closed, and her face pointing up at you. 

You had a different plan in mind for her but this alternative would suffice, you wouldn’t turn down such an offer especially when it’s presenting itself like that, only a madman would pass up such an opportunity. And besides, nothing wrong with giving a little something extra. After all, it wouldn’t hurt anyone—well, anyone besides Haseul.

You cup the side of Haseul's face, soft and delicate to the touch, pristine skin ruined by hints of abuse made by you and you’re only going to make it look worse. It’s a shame really, a pretty and elegant face like hers reduced to an outlet of anger and disappointment. But you couldn’t really care less, in fact it uplifts you to see such beauty defiled and you take immense pleasure being the sole cause of it.

Haseul’s breath begins to hitch, the anticipation getting the best of her, a torture in and of itself. She’s not used to this, having your hand be this close to her face without even as much as a sting let alone having it be touched so gently. You can’t help yourself, normally she’s a crying and begging mess by now but that extra second of staring at her makes you pause in your tracks. You feel your heart skip a beat as both your hands move to touch her face, brushing her cheeks, fixing stray hairs, wiping away spit and sweat. Haseul opens her eyes, staring back with a mixture of hesitation and awe. 

“Master—” Inquisitive and confused, Haseul looks at you like you’re a complete stranger “—please, punish me.” Her words bring you out of your daydream, slightly tearing something within you in the process, a part of you that you never knew existed in the first place. Haseul doesn’t want love or affection, she’s here to atone for her sins, to serve her master, to look up to someone much higher than her. For a second you lost track of that, for a second you saw her in a different light, saw yourself in a different light. But no, that’s not what you’re here for nor is it what she’s here for. 

You shrug off all unwanted feelings and focus back on the matter at hand. Though you hesitate, your brief moment of longing strikes weakness in you. Haseul begs with her eyes as she kneels on the ground, awaiting the punishment that you’re becoming too scared to give. Haseul takes your hand and puts it on her cheek. “Master, please.” You close your eyes as you wind your arm back, channeling your energy as you take a swing at Haseul’s face. Your hand connects and the slap echoes in the vicinity, you open your eyes to see Haseul with a bright red mark on her, crying silent tears as she continues to present her face. A part of you dies but another feels alive, the surge of adrenaline rushing through your body as you savor the sight beneath you. You take your arm back again, this time without hesitation, and deliver another slap right in the same spot, Haseul’s cheek glowing red from the harsh treatment.

You turn her around and kneel behind her, quickly resuming your position earlier—a hand gripping the roots of her long hair and another at her side. You put Haseul’s arms behind her back then outstretch your arm so that she’s right above the spot she missed on the floor, a constant reminder of her failure just staring her in the face. You line yourself back up to her rear entrance, “Remember, don’t cum before I do.” Haseul frantically nods her head as best she could, even before you finished your sentence, wanting to just get it out of the way and straight to the action.

The remainder of Haseul’s spit that coated your cock has long dried out by now, but that’s not really a problem for you to deal with. 

You spread one of her cheeks as much as you can to see the ever familiar hole looking at you and to make it easier for the both of you. Her rim already looks a little sore and red, you plan to make that better. Again, the initial push has some troubles as Haseul clenches herself, this time however, you aren’t going to go that easy on her. 

You push inside slow and steady but once the head has fully disappeared, you ram the rest of your length inside of her ass. The dry friction of her anal walls makes you groan but that doesn’t compare to what Haseul is feeling. Her scream almost splits your ears as you plunge your entirety within her. Her whole body tenses up from how sudden it was, you give her half a second to adjust before pulling out just enough then ramming back in. Out and in, out and in, out and in, only this time you’re going much harsher, much harder, much faster. Reducing Haseul to mere grunts and moans as her dry entrance greedily hugs you. 

Only after a while does Haseul find her voice again. “It hurts! Y-Yes, yes, yes, fuck! Harder… harder, Master. Make it hurt more. Punish me like the bitch that I am!” The words just flow naturally out of her, profanities, moans, and whatever other degrading name just spew out of her mouth like it’s nothing. Haseul is truly in her element—pain and punishment, nowhere else have you seen her with such drive and energy. 

You do as requested, digging your digits into her side as you pound her hard. However, you find your grip rather unsatisfactory, with one hand holding her head up, having just one on her hip isn’t doing the job you want it to do. You adjust higher and higher on her body until your hand is pulling down on her shoulder. Your nails dig into her skin and your hand grips the base of her hair with all your might, each earning their own screams of pleasing pain from Haseul. 

Haseul’s in her element, perhaps a little bit too much. You start to notice her letting loose and succumbing to the pain and pleasure. Her ass adjusts and unclenches while her body goes limp and surrenders its weight to your hands. You aren’t even close to cumming yourself, you can only imagine where this will end up. 

“I’m so close… Master, I’m so close, please…” In between moans, Haseul utters breathless warnings of her coming orgasm. You try to open your mouth but by then it’s too late, before even a single sound escapes from your lips, Haseul’s has made plenty. “FUCK! Oh, fuck! Master… I’m… ahhh—“ Her legs quiver and give way, leaving her entire weight to be held up through your two hands on her upper body. 

Another mess on your floor, another order disobeyed, another punishment waiting to be given. 

You pull out then pull Haseul by her hair towards you, forcing her to kneel down and face you head on. The sudden sharp pain pulls Haseul down from her high and the horror returns on her face. She slowly shakes her head as tears pour down once more, whispering between heavy breaths, “No… please… I’m sorry… Master, forgive me…”

“You can’t cum when I ask you to and then you cum when I tell you not to,” you say disappointedly, you send a quick text on your phone as you shake your head. “How many is that now, five? At least five times you couldn’t do what I told you to do? What happened, Haseul? You were doing just fine yesterday.” You simply sigh at Haseul who looks on with pure terror in her eyes opposing your rather blank stare. 

To you it’s all just a game, all just pleasure, but to Haseul it’s way beyond that—it’s worship, subservience, servitude. You couldn’t really care less who is kneeling down in front of you with the multitude of toys that you own but to Haseul, you’re her one and only, the only master she serves, the one she devotes herself to.

“Did you have a change of heart all of a sudden, are punishments the only thing you want now? Because that’s not that hard to give.” Your arm swings wide and your palm connects with her face, so strong it almost toppled her over. “See? It’s so simple. If that’s all you want then all you have to do is tell me, I don’t mind.” Your other arm mimics the same motion, equalizing the redness on Haseul’s cheeks.

Haseul just shakes her head, “N-No, Master. I… I wish to serve and follow you. But… punish me when I deserve it and right now I deserve to be punished, Master.” Haseul closes her eyes and braces herself for another hit which you gladly give, this one stronger than the previous, this one sending her falling to her side. Haseul catches herself then gets back to position, raising her head while on her knees, presenting her face to receive another slap.

Slap after slap befalls Haseul, her cheeks get redder and redder with some parts a deeper shade of red than her pale lips. You’ve lost count of how many slaps you have given by now but it’s gotten to the point where your palms start to sting. But no matter how many times you slap Haseul, no matter how many times she falls down, she remains relentless. Even with tears rolling down her face, Haseul doesn’t hesitate one bit to get back on her knees and present her face. That’s what you love about Haseul, the persistence she has even in the face of pain and disappointment, she keeps pushing through, all just to please you. But unfortunately for her, the amusement you have gotten from her tenacity doesn’t amount to the dissatisfaction she’s earned throughout the few hours you’ve been with her today.

You continue to release your pent up aggression through your palms connecting with her delicate cheeks but no matter how many you’ve given and how many you continue to give, it just isn’t enough. As much as you like to use Haseul as your outlet, the sheer amount of displeasure she’s given doesn’t make it as satisfying for you. No matter how strong or how often, it still never seems to be enough, it’s gotten to the point where the problem has outgrown its source.

You start to wind your arm back when your phone starts to ring. “I wonder who could that be,” you say rather rhetorically with a smirk on your face, the once lifeless and weak Haseul suddenly springs up as she hears the call incoming, dread and anxiety loom over her as the implication of your words mean anything but good news. “I’m sorry, Haseul, but today I’m just starting to doubt you. Thankfully there’s someone here who can help me fix that problem of yours.” You answer and on the screen pops up a very, very familiar face to the both of you.

A/N 2: poll - https://strawpoll.com/xVg7j76vrnr

[choicesficwriterscreations]

September Creator of the Month: Tveitertotwrites

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month: @tveitertotwrites

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTMs can be found here.

Tumblr Blog Name: Tveitertotwrites

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Megan

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog

Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

I started playing in 2019, and my first book was Rules of Engagement.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the fandom in January 2022. I had taken a break from Choices for a while but went back in November/December 2021 and started trying to look for fanfiction for Open Heart as I wanted to see if there was more Open Heart content, so I turned to Tumblr and AO3 and decided to join.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

It was the first thing I could think of. I’m not creative with naming things (if anyone remembers my original blog name, it was openheartfanfiction because I only wrote for OH and couldn’t think of anything else). So I was like, “I’m a fan of Aaron Tveit. His fans are called Tveiter Tots, so why not?”  I then added writing because most of the content I make is fanfiction.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it! 

It was actually a little intro to my account, but I had deleted it a while back so now it’s this. It is not my favorite. I would definitely redo it now that I have had more experience with text fics. 

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

While I would love to make fan art, currently, I only write fanfiction.

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

I have been writing/creating Choices content since 2022. But I have been writing for Star Wars and Adam Driver Characters since 2020 (even though I am on hiatus from it, and I don’t know if/when I will pick it back up). I also wrote some Marvel fanfiction with a friend in 2021. More recently, I have started writing stuff for Aaron Tveit and Cillian Murphy characters on my non-Choices blog.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Right now, I would say either Red Carpet Diaries or America’s Most Eligible is my favorite. But I also like Open Heart, High School Story, and others. I want to create more for RCD and AME, but I think I like creating content for OH.

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

Since I already mentioned the text fic, I chose the next fic I did. It was for my Open Heart MC’s (Claire Evans) Birthday. And I would 100 percent go back and rewrite it. I like the idea of what I wrote, but I don’t like its execution, and I need to go back and rewrite it.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

Right now, I have these two favorites. While I like writing angst, I enjoy writing fluffy stuff like these two fics. Plus, it’s my MC and OC who are besties (Claire and Adelaide), so I had to choose one from both of them.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

This was a fic that I wasn't expecting to get notes on. I was still very new to the fandom at the time and hadn’t really interacted with anyone at that point, so seeing people like it was a shock.

Something that I wish I could do better is the content I make for my RCD and AME MCs (Brooklyn Moore and Charlie Howard). I love that people like my OH content, but I don’t see many people liking content from those books (which is fine if you don’t like it).

11- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Fluff. While writing Angst and Smut can be fun, writing fluff is a nice escape from real life.

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Yes, I have put some things from myself into my MCs and OCs, like some personality traits, some physical traits, and some hobbies/things they enjoy. So, I do see myself sometimes, but not always.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Either coming up with titles or writing bits in between the big parts. Usually, one of the last things I do is come up with a title because I can never think of one. Also, writing the “less important” parts in between the parts I want to write is what gets me sometimes and is why I have unfinished fics that I have abandoned.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have some fics that I had done some previews for (last year or the year before) that I would like to finish at some point. Right now, I am trying to finish a Dancing with the Stars AU for Adelaide and Tobias, so that is my writing priority.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

Maybe it depends on who it is. While I don’t think anyone would be too judgemental, I would still be very nervous to show them in fear of them hating it or something like that. I wouldn't show them the smut or some of my earlier fics but the fluff I would.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

Not really. I have liked a lot of people’s work, but I don’t think that it really influences my writing at all though.

17- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

I think my fic “Coming to You” would be fun to see as a movie. Seeing how Ethan and Claire’s relationship grows on screen when they’re in two different worlds would interest me.

19- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

I have thought about trying to write an original fiction book, but right now I don’t. I do currently write some original screenplays as I am in college for screenwriting.

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

I like to paint and listen to music. I like to take drives in the morning to get coffee and relax or at night with my dogs. I like to watch movies and musicals (like Moulin Rouge and Six). 

21: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to)

Thank you to anyone who has read any of my fics or enjoyed the content I create. It means a lot, and I hope to continue writing content that both you and I can enjoy.

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

in which this story comes to an end. (fucking finally.)

part eight of the post-marineford portion of the near miss fics! (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) if you have no idea what i’m talking about but would like to read a shanks/buggy story about kissing in disguise and then having to deal with the emotional fallout of doing that, click on this link, that’s the tag for the whole thing in chronological order. (plus a fair bit of complaining about writing, one inspirational improvised musical number, and a snippet of shanks pov) if you do know what i’m talking about: it’s done! it’s done!! i wish i could say i planned to end this on 3/8 but lmao, did not know the significance of the day until, like, this tuesday. but it’s done. i’m taking a break from the world of this story to work on some gift exchange fics, but i will be uploading the first few fics to ao3 soon, and should start posting the shanks POV post-marineford story in late april. if there are scenes you’d especially like his POV on, let me know! i’ll do my best to incorporate them.

Buggy spent a very cathartic half-hour shouting at a bunch of guys who ate up his words with a spoon.  Always eager to please, the men obediently found themselves disembarkation buddies, cleaned up the messes they’d made, and started gathering their things (mostly weapons they’d stolen off the guards at Impel Down).

It was nice to be respected, Buggy thought as he watched them scurry around the ship.  However misplaced the respect, it made people listen to him, something Buggy had wanted for as long as he could remember.  He’d never been able to get enough.  Probably never would, if the hunger that grew every time these men cheered his name was anything to go by.

He wandered up to the room he shared with Galdino—thankfully empty, he didn’t want to end up in another slap fight over details—and took care of his own possessions. (It wouldn’t do to have any excuses to delay or hang back when they got to the meeting point.) With the modified Marine jacket and hat back on, Buggy could fit everything else in a small satchel that he strapped around his waist, neatly hidden by a twist in a sash and the way the jacket fell.  He left the room… more or less the way it had been when he arrived—there was no way to hide that dent in the wall, and Galdino would have to be the one to deal with the smear of wax across half the bed—and exited the room for the last time, taking in the view of the deck below with a contented sigh.

The Red Force was a well-run ship—a compliment Buggy would never voice aloud, but in the privacy of his own mind he allowed himself to think it.  Even with hundreds of strangers aboard who couldn’t help but get in the way, she was clean, well-equipped, and sailing smoothly.  Buggy didn’t know if he’d be able to say the same in a few hours, when all these men would be trying to squeeze onto the somewhat smaller Big Top.  Buggy rubbed a hand across his mouth to hide his involuntary grimace at the thought.  Maybe the island they were meeting up on had some industry he could put them to work at?  A farm would be fantastic, if he could get paid for their labor and get the produce at a discount as well… 

Buggy looked over the deck in search of one of Shanks’ senior officers.  He didn’t know most of them by name, but those cloaks and capes they wore were distinctive enough that he thought he should be able to identify them on sight, and surely if the one he found didn’t know anything about the island, they could point him to someone who did.  The navigator?  Roux, who seemed to know a little about everything?  Beckman, whose job it was to know something about everything?

And, think of the devil, one of the doors to the interior of the ship opened to reveal Beckman, speaking with a few of those cloaked men.  They each went their own way, and Beckman crossed to the railing, taking up a pose not dissimilar from Buggy’s a few levels above him.  That was a first mate for you, always keeping an eye on things, one way or another.

Buggy sent his feet down the stairs and the rest of him took the shorter path, swooping down to Beckman’s side like a giant white bat.  To his credit, Beckman didn’t react to this unusual approach. Instead, calm as anything, he said, “Whatever you said to those men, it seems to be doing the trick.  Thanks.”

Buggy waved the praise off.  “If they’re so eager to be under my command, they’ve got to start learning to behave themselves sooner or later.  Might as well be now.”  Leaning an elbow against the railing, Buggy looked Beckman over.  He sure did seem a lot more relaxed now than he’d been outside Shanks’ rooms.  Relaxed enough to share intel?  “Tell me something.”

Beckman glanced sideways at Buggy.  “Hm?”

“What do you know about this island where we’re meeting up with my crew?  Is it populated?”

“Ah, I don’t think so, no,” Beckman said, tilting his head back, recalling the facts.  “Snake picked a jungle island that’s a bit out of the way of normal trade routes.  There’s some ruins, but no signs of recent habitation.”

Buggy tried not to visibly wilt.  “Ah.”

Beckman’s eyes lingered on Buggy.  “We didn’t want to risk a naval presence on the island getting word out to the rest of the Marines.”

“No, no, it makes sense.”  Buggy sighed, shoving a hand under his hat to scrub at his hair.  “Just trying to figure out how the hell I’m gonna feed all these guys in that case.”  No way had anyone thought to tell Alvida that Buggy was bringing new guys with him, let alone a lot of new guys.  She’d have gotten the ship supplied with their normal numbers in mind.

Well, the new guys were a tough bunch, maybe they’d see hunting for their dinner as a fun challenge.  Assuming there was anything safe to hunt and eat on this island… Buggy dug his fingers into his scalp, biting back a frustrated groan.

Beckman laughed.  “Yeah, I don’t envy you that job. At least we were expecting to take on passengers.”  He whistled to get the attention of someone up in the crow’s nest and flashed a hand sign at them.  After a few exchanges, he stopped signing and rolled his eyes.  “Stubborn, overworking little—” He cut himself off and glanced at Buggy.  “Was that all you wanted from me?”  Buggy nodded.  “Then I’ll see you when Shanks finally gets up the nerve to talk to you… or when we land.  Whichever comes first.”  With that, he walked over to the mast, got the attention of a young man who’d been leaning against it, and grabbed onto a low-hanging rope.  The two of them pulled themselves up into the rigging—to harass whoever was up in the crow’s nest into taking a break, probably.

Buggy watched them climb for a minute, a frown crawling its way across his face.  When Shanks finally gets up the nerve to talk to you… so there was something Shanks was hiding that he didn’t think he should, huh?  Buggy had figured the feeling he was getting off Shanks was about one of those topics he’d had private conversations with Roger about way back when, not something that Shanks would consider any of Buggy’s business.  But apparently that wasn’t the case.

Buggy’s frown deepened.  He could come up with a list of topics Shanks wouldn’t want to broach but would still feel obligated to bring up, no problem.  But that list was short, and Buggy didn’t like the thought of discussing anything on it.

Unsettled, Buggy leaned back against the mast, arms crossed.

“Look out below!!!”

Buggy looked up and shrieked at the sight of a man falling head-first out of the crow’s nest.  He scattered—it wasn’t like his body would soften the blow enough that the guy would live—and then blinked, as a rope he hadn’t noticed went taut, and the falling slowed to a gentle, somehow mechanical motion.

“The hell is wrong with you?!” he demanded, floating up to be eye-level with the slowly descending man.  This was, if Buggy remembered correctly, Shanks’ sniper, Yasopp, of the infamous years-long tempting out to sea.  Someone with good aim, and a keen eye, but not particularly decisive—or, at least, he hadn’t been back then.  He was also apparently someone with a shitty sense of humor; he wasn’t answering Buggy’s question because he was too busy laughing and pointing at Buggy.

“Your face!  Oh, my stomach hurts,” he said, clutching at his waist.  “Oh man, that was almost worth getting kicked out of the nest.”  As they approached the ground, he shifted his weight so his feet would touch down first, and untangled himself from the rope with practiced ease.  “Phew.  Sorry, uh—Buggy, right?  Yeah, sorry about that.  The crew knows better than to stand so close to the mast when the watch changes, and I didn’t think to check before I jumped.”

“Jumping from the crow’s nest for fun.”  Buggy shook his head.  “And here I thought you people were almost respectable.”  Yasopp, the maniac, cackled.  Beckman, drifting down to the deck on his own rope mechanism, in a much more orderly fashion, chuckled a little.

“It’s possible we’ve been on… well, not our best behavior.  Let’s call it better behavior than usual, these last few days,” Beckman admitted.  “Except for Yasopp, who doesn’t know the meaning of the concept and so stays up in his nest.”

“You haven’t been on your best behavior, you’re as mean as ever,” Yasopp said, putting on an over-the-top pout.

Beckman rolled his eyes.  “Because I need to be, to get anything done around here,” he said.  “And you need a break.  Drink, talk to someone, tinker with one of your ridiculous trick bullets, I don’t care, just—let someone else keep an eye on things for a few hours, okay?”  He nudged Yasopp in the side with an elbow.  “Or are you gonna say you didn’t train your juniors well enough at their job?”

Yasopp crossed his arms, sulky.  “No,” he conceded.

“Good,” Beckman said.  Giving Buggy an apologetic grimace as he untied himself, he said, “I trust he’s apologized to you already?”  His tone suggested that if he hadn’t, Yasopp would soon regret it.

What a mother hen of a first mate, Buggy thought, fighting down a smile. “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine,” he said, shrugging off the incident like it hadn’t carved a decade off his lifespan.  “I should’ve known you people had to be at least a little crazy, since you run around with Shanks.”

A small smile crossed Beckman’s face, and Yasopp muffled a snort of laughter in a fist.

Someone called out in a panicky tone for Beckman from a far corner of the ship, and the smile fell off his face.  “If you’ll excuse me?”  Not waiting for a reply from either of them, Beckman walked off.

“So mean,” Yasopp said, fondness creeping into his voice.

“That’s first mates for you,” Buggy said, unable to keep a similar fondness out of his own voice.  Shanks had done a good job finding this guy.  When you grew up with the gold standard first mate (or, heh, the Silvers standard?), it was hard to find someone who could measure up.  “Keeping things in order when your captain’s lost his head.”

Yasopp chuckled.  “Ah, the boss isn’t that bad off.”  When Buggy gave him a skeptical look, he smirked.  “Lost his heart, maybe, but he knows where his head’s at.”

“I—uh.”  Flustered, Buggy cleared his throat.  He’d really just gone and said it.  “You’re a lot less subtle than your crewmates.”

Yasopp shrugged.  “I leave subtlety to subtle men.  I’m not built for it; I’m built for getting to the heart of the matter, and doing it fast.”  He extended two fingers towards Buggy, lifted his thumb into the air, and twitched his hand like it was a gun recoiling.  “We both know where things stand.  What’s the use in dancing around it?”

“Sure,” Buggy muttered, his thoughts going back to what Beckman had said.  What was it Shanks both didn’t want to tell him and needed to tell him?  What was there left unsaid, besides the sort of thing Buggy had already decided didn’t need saying?  He crossed his arms.  Damn it, he’d been trying to avoid thinking about this shit!

“Hey,” Yasopp said, snapping his fingers to draw Buggy’s attention.  “You work with bombs, right?  You make them yourself?”

Welcoming the change in topic, Buggy scoffed.  “Of course,” he said, “only an idiot trusts the kind of weapons manufacturers who are willing to sell to pirates to make explosives that are good, reliable, and cheap, and I have better things to spend my money on.”  He narrowed his eyes at Yasopp.  “Why?”

“Because Beck just gave me permission to tinker with my trick bullets, and if you make your own explosives you might be able to figure out what I’m doing wrong with this one.”  Digging around in one of his oversized ammunition pouches, Yasopp presented Buggy with an unusually lightweight cartridge.  “Here, what do you think?”

Buggy cracked the cartridge open, curious.  Inside was a pool of silvery-black gunpowder and a thin-walled hollow bullet, which proved to have some other kind of powder inside.  Buggy pinched that powder between two fingers, rubbing them together to feel the grit and then sniffing at the residue left behind.  He stared at his fingers, baffled, and smelled them again.  “What is that, aluminum and an ammonium salt?”  Yasopp nodded.  “Are you trying to make a cartridge that explodes in the barrel?”

Yasopp sighed, running a hand through his locs.  “What I want is a smoke bomb I can fire out of a gun.  What I’m getting is… that, more or less.”

“Yeah, of course you are, a big velocity change ignites this stuff easily.  With a different catalyst, though, or maybe a better sealed chamber…” Buggy trailed off, considering the bullet.  A miniature smoke bomb, huh?  Something that could stand up to the initial shock of gunfire, and turns to noise and powder on impact… “Do you have a chem lab around here somewhere?”

Yasopp grinned.

The two of them didn’t emerge from Yasopp’s workroom until the bell rang out announcing last call for lunch.  Buggy wasn’t sure he’d ever get the metallic burnt smell out of these clothes, but he didn’t care; this had been fun, the kind of idle experimenting with explosives that he hadn’t had time to do in years.  Buggy hadn’t realized how much of a man’s free time it ate up, captaining even a smallish crew, until he’d gotten a fraction of that time back.

“Too bad we didn’t figure out a solution for your smoke bullet problem,” he said, dusting the last of the gunpowder off his shirt sleeves.

“Eh, I’ve been working on this on and off for months, it wasn’t gonna be an easy fix,” Yasopp said, shrugging his star-spangled cloak back on.  “But it got both of us out of our heads for a few hours, so I’d hardly call it a waste.”

Buggy blinked at him, frozen with one arm in his jacket.  “Both of us?”

“You were fretting, I don’t know what about.  Shanks, at a guess.  And I’m… not good at letting other people take on my responsibilities.”  Yasopp grimaced.  “Beck doesn’t always have to toss me out of the nest, but…”

Buggy frowned, sliding the jacket up his other arm.  “I wasn’t fretting.”

Yasopp gave him an unimpressed look.  “Sure.  And what kind of concealer do you use to hide the frown lines you must have, if you make that face every hour of the day?”  When Buggy scowled at him, Yasopp said, “I’m not a subtle man, remember?  If you want somebody to pretend to believe your lies, you’re looking at the wrong guy.”

Buggy sighed.  As Yasopp locked the workroom up behind them, he admitted, “It… was good to get out of my head for a while.”  Yasopp gave him a squeeze on the shoulder, and they left it at that.

Lunch was a bit less exciting than the past few days had led Buggy to expect: the fried rice with pickled cabbage and ham that had been served with Shanks’ breakfast was the main dish on offer, with other repurposed leftovers making up the rest of the meal.  When Roux wasn’t looking, Buggy gave him a curious look.  The rest of the crew had been on their best behavior, according to Beckman… so, had Lucky Roux been showing off?  If he had, it had worked on Buggy; he still wanted to poach Roux for his own crew, even if this less impressive offering was his usual fare.

Eating his bowl of rice with a couple promising-looking toppings—all well-spiced and delicious, of course—Buggy made his way out onto the main deck.  A few Red-Haired and Whitebeard Pirates glanced Buggy’s way, but most of them had gotten used to Buggy over the last few days and returned to their meals without paying him any mind.  He peered down at the lower deck, crowded with men in worn prison uniforms standing in surprisingly well-organized clusters of twos and fours, finishing their lunch.

“Afternoon, men!” he called.

“Captain Buggy!” they cheered.

“Let’s see,” Buggy said, and on a whim set aside his bowl to chop off his feet and swoop down, close enough to excite his men but just out of reach.  “Aren’t you arranged all nice and orderly?  It looks like you did as I asked.”

“Of course!”

“We’d do anything you asked, Captain Buggy!”

Buggy grinned.  Music to his ears.  “Then I suppose I should reward you, shouldn’t I?”  A few excited sounds rose from the crowd as Buggy returned to his spot on the deck above them.  “Hm… I’ve told you a few stories of the old days with Captain Roger, and a few more adventures of the great Captain Buggy’s crew.  But there’s someone I’ve yet to introduce you to, a captain who’s been allied with me and mine these last few months.”  Someone who might need some convincing to cooperate with the sudden appearance of all these guys… and who was more eager for praise than even Buggy.  “Let me tell you how the strong, beautiful Iron Mace Alvida saved my life.”

A hush fell over the crowd.

“Yes, I know what you’re thinking: the great Captain Buggy, in need of rescue?!”  The wide-eyed stares Buggy received confirmed this.  And by the look of it, some of the men were mentally tacking on the phrase by a woman? to that question, as he’d suspected they would.  Yeah, best to nip that potential problem in the bud.  “Well, I’d been through a terrible trial in the days leading up to our first meeting.  Separated from my crew, from my body, alone on a half-wrecked ship, starving, a vicious sea monster rising out of the waves before me, his many-toothed maw dripping with drool, eager to eat me—when suddenly!  A great iron mace came down on his skull!”  Buggy slammed his lunch bowl against the railing, the crash of metal on wood drawing the eye of every man below.

Buggy grinned.  If they hadn’t been hooked before, they sure were now.

He fudged some of the details, of course—no need to reveal exactly who had put him through that terrible trial, or how his crew had behaved in his absence.  But the broad strokes were true enough, and the changes he made were in support of his reason for telling the story: to convince these guys to respect Alvida, to flatter her as they did him, to make this joining of forces go as smoothly as possible.  Sure, it didn’t put Buggy in the best light, at least not at first, but he didn’t want Alvida taking a perceived slight out on a man who might be able to stand up to her mace.  If revealing one of his weaknesses was how he avoided that disaster, so be it.

He was just reaching the ‘rescuing his crew from cannibals’ climax of the story when a cry rang out from above: “Land ho!”

Finally.  The relief that rushed through Buggy nearly made him cry.  After all the many hells he’d been through since being arrested… things could finally start getting back to normal.

“We’ll continue this story after we disembark,” Buggy announced, to a few disappointed groans from his men.  “Find your buddy if you lost track of him during lunch!  Make sure you both have everything you’re taking with you!  Stay out of the way of the Red-Haired Pirates while they’re get us to shore, but be ready to leave the second we’re docked!”

“Aye, Captain!”

But of course, it wasn’t quite that simple.

Buggy found Galdino sitting in the empty mess with Lucky Roux, making polite conversation over a pot of tea.  Though, with these two, it might not actually be the conversation it seemed to be—something about the island Roux sourced his tea from?  Apparently it was a distinctive blend, and hard to acquire.

“Did you need something, Buggy?” Galdino asked, an undertone of irritation to his voice.  Because of course Buggy needed something, why else did he ever seek Galdino out?

Well, if Galdino didn’t want to be used, he shouldn’t have made himself so useful.

“The dock’s gone,” Buggy said.  “Either rotted through or swept away in a storm.”

Galdino glanced up at him, and set down his teacup.  “Well, at least it’ll be a challenge.  Lucky Roux, it’s been a pleasure.”

“It’s sure been something, having you people aboard,” Roux said with a wide smile.  “Hopefully not for the last time.”

Buggy snorted.  “In your captain’s dreams.”

Galdino muffled a laugh in his fist; Roux didn’t bother concealing his amusement.  Buggy realized how his words had come off, scowled, and stormed out of the mess with a mutter of, “Come on, Galdino.”

The two of them joined Beckman and the Red-Haired Pirates’ navigator at the bow of the ship, and considered the space where a dock clearly used to be.  A ship this big, an island with such a sharp drop from shore to sea?  They wouldn’t be able to land without a dock. 

“Can you do it?” Beckman asked.

“I’ll need to begin from the shore,” Galdino said, thoughtful.  “If it isn’t well anchored from the start it’ll drift away.”

“That’s no problem.” Buggy chopped his feet off and leaned forward, letting Galdino sit cross-legged on his back.  He flew them to shore, where Galdino made some long wax spears that Buggy wedged into place.  When they were securely dug in, Galdino melted the tops of the spears and, starting from that spot, created more wax to mold into a floating dock.  Nothing that would be any good at anchoring a ship the size of the Red Force long-term, but they didn’t intend to be here any longer than necessary.  So long as it could hold firm while the men disembarked, that was all they needed.

While Galdino worked, Buggy hovered above the canopy, looking for any kind of promising location to settle his men.  He quickly spotted the ruins Beckman had mentioned—several of the old buildings were tall enough to be seen well above the treetops, the gray of the stone standing out against all the greenery of the jungle.  There was one with a large paved area around it, not far from the shore, which seemed promising.  Buggy took a moment to fix the spot in his memory, then went back to tell Galdino about it.

Galdino barely paid him any mind. He was focused on his work, and confident enough in it to stand on the dock as he was building it, a foot or two of wax all that separated him from the awful, helpless death that awaited any Devil Fruit user in the ocean.  It was bold of him; Buggy preferred a nice, reliable boat any day.

“Any messages to pass on to the men?” he asked, hovering at Galdino’s shoulder.

“They’ll need to be light on their feet, and should stick to the center of the dock,” Galdino said.  He was starting to sweat; extruding this much wax in one go must take a lot of effort.  “If their weight isn’t balanced right, one wrong move could capsize this whole thing.”

Buggy blanched.  Yeah, he could never.  “Noted,” he squeaked, and flew back to the Red Force to convey these instructions.

Despite Galdino’s warnings, the disembarkation went well.  Buggy watched with no small amount of pride as the buddy system worked beautifully, each pair of men walking down the gangplank, across the waxen dock, and onto the shore without any signs of a bottleneck developing.  Being listened to was nice—it was very nice—but being listened to, having your orders followed, and seeing them work exactly as you imagined, now that was heaven.  Buggy might not be the strongest pirate the world had ever seen, but damn it, he was good at this shit.

As the last dozen pairs prepared to leave the Red Force, Buggy felt a gentle weight press down on his foot.  He frowned, tried to remember where he’d left his feet, and only then noticed a presence on the main deck that made his hackles rise.

Shanks.

“Are you holding my feet hostage?”

“That depends,” Shanks said, giving Buggy an unreadable look.  “Are you leaving without saying goodbye?”

Oh, this guy.  On his own ship, surrounded on all sides by his most trusted officers, and still managing to look like some kind of miserable wet cat, terrified of being left alone.

“And how was I supposed to say goodbye to someone who’s been hiding from me?” Buggy asked, instead of the dozen meaner things he wanted to say.

Shanks glanced away, suddenly awkward, and Buggy took the opportunity to look him over.  The shower had done him good, gotten him clean of all that secondhand makeup—though it had not, Buggy noticed with a quiet little thrill, removed the bruises that had apparently been hiding underneath some of that makeup.  His hair looked nicer, almost healthy, even pinned back by the sunglasses Shanks had propped up high on his forehead.  “Are these the shame glasses I’ve heard so much about?”

Shanks’ hand rose to fiddle with the temple of the glasses.  “Ah, yeah.”

“I thought your crew was supposed to laugh at you while you were wearing them?”

“They’ve been laughing at me, all day,” Shanks said, tired.  “And they’ve been right to, given… everything.”

Well, that was ominous.

With a sigh, Shanks said, “There’s something I should have told you earlier, Buggy, but there never seemed to be a good time, and… I didn’t know how to say it.”  A sheepish smile pulling at the corner of his lip, he said, “I still don’t, to be honest,” and pulled the sunglasses down over his eyes.

It took Buggy a moment to put it together.  Shanks’ discomfort, the way the large mirrored lenses took up so much space on his face, the nervous twist of his lips… then Shanks ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead, and it clicked.  All the blood draining out of his face, Buggy caught Beckman’s eye; he nodded, ever so slightly.

(Fuck.)

Buggy got up in Shanks’ face, looking past his own wide-eyed reflection to confirm that spark of recognition.  Shanks leaned back, Buggy reconnected to his own feet, and at this angle… yeah, he knew that face.  He’d kissed it, once.

(Oh fuck, he’d pickpocketed that guy, too.)

Fighting down a hysterical burst of laughter, Buggy said, voice high-pitched from the strain, “Well, uh, thanks for the ride, Shanks!  I’d say I owe you one, but I’m pretty sure you still owe me another two or three dozen favors before we’re even.”  He backed up, hands brushing along the railing as he inched towards the stairs, and beyond them the gangplank, the dock, the island, freedom.

(Somewhere he could have a little breakdown about this revelation in private.)

“Buggy…” Shanks cautiously held out a hand.

Buggy pulled back out of reach.  “I’m not saying goodbye to you, Shanks!” he snapped.  Shanks faltered, his hurt visible even past those ridiculous sunglasses, and Buggy sighed.  Did he have to spell it out?  “Stupid.  I already told you.”

Confusion wasn’t a much better look on Shanks.  Well, either he’d figure out or he wouldn’t.

Buggy rolled his eyes, spun around, and ran off.  Over his shoulder, he promised, “Until next time, Red-Hair!”

[eris-snow]

Deku's birthday series Q n A!

This will most likely be my last post pertaining to the Deku's birthday series for awhile. I'm sorry it came out late! 😭

There are some behind-the-scenes screenshots over on my Instagram if anyone wants to see, so go visit my post after you’re done reading this! https://www.instagram.com/eris.snow/

---

Katsuki, slamming the door open: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Now, I have no idea what you’re—

Katsuki: NO! YOU HAVE EVERY IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING. HOW DARE YOU, LEAVE ME WITH THE NERD AND HIS FUCK-ASS MEMORIES. FREAKING. FUCK. YOU!

Come on, it can’t be that bad—

Katsuki: JUST SUCK FACE WITH HIM ALREADY

No.

Katsuki: I will kill you and make it look like an accident, come here you—

---

Hey I’ve always wanted to do one of these.

---

Question: Is there going to be a part 3? Deku birthday series

Ans: Yes, there’s going to be a part 3, and it will be the last part of this Izuku trilogy of Deku’s birthday series! (Because I’m unwilling to milk this more than necessary)

Question: Why the ending? (Aka, why did you write another cliffhanger ending that’s so unsatisfactory) -Revelation

Ans:

The answer to that is that I felt it was a little unfair to have Izuku have Starlight handed to him on a silver platter. Frankly, I want to see him work for Starlight, because she’s worth it, and we haven’t really seen that. Also, angst.

Question: What can we expect in the next part?

Ans:

Definitely more flashbacks from Izuku’s point of view. Also, it will be a happy ending, confirmed. I think it’ll be a little irritating to see things go nowhere if I make a part 4. I really don’t like dragging things out longer than necessary, but the next part should be more Izuku-centric. Plus, there are a bunch of scenes I wanna write that are now unlocked because Izuku remembers, so stay tuned for that!

Question: How did you come up with the story’s narrative? -Secret

Ans:

Honestly, I have no idea. As I was writing the first two chapters, I was bouncing ideas off with one of my loved ones, and it just clicked. I did a little reshuffling, and then ironed out a cohesive storyline. Secret came at like a odd spot of, should I write a birthday series for him, because I did it for bakugou. On Tumblr, it was a lot more popular than I thought it would ever be, and Secret struck a gold mine with my AO3 audience.

Question: Do you relate to Starlight (Y/n)?

Answer: In some ways, yes. Sometimes, you’re afraid to let go of pain when that’s all you’ve ever known, and I wanted to show that. After all, Izuku and Y/n are teenagers. They have no idea what they’re doing, just working with bits and pieces. Kinda like how sometimes, we have no idea what we’re doing at whatever age we’re at. Also Starlight’s internal debate of whether to accept the offer of removing one of her feelings, and dissociating herself. Sometimes, cutting of feelings seem better, especially when you need to steel yourself. But no one should ever cut their feelings of entirely.

Question: What’s next in terms of your content?

Answer:

Er, a lot. First, I need to finish Anachronism and Juxtaposition, because I’ve been delaying doing that. And request, oh, gosh I’m so sorry to anybody who put in a request recently. But, I’ve still got lots of ideas I want to put out! Thank you for supporting me, and I hope that you’ll enjoy my other series! If you have any suggestions on what my long fic should be about, you can ask me on Tumblr or Dm me on Instagram at eris.snow!

Question: What’s next for Deku’s birthday series?

Answer:

Err, I really want to do an audio adaptation of this (Something like a CD drama), because I’ve had offers from really nice people to turn my story into something like an audiobook. I don’t think that’ll be really good for my work, so I kinda want to turn my story into a script and pull strings together to make it into a CD drama, ASMR roleplay, honestly idk what to call it.

Still working it out though! If you want updates or to ask for more questions about that, you can find me at eris.snow on Instagram and tumblr (I post more on Tumblr, like the freak I am). Looking for VAs interested to voice these people, so if anyone wants look forward to a post coming out somewhere in November ish that will release more details!

It’s going to be my first time doing something like that, so if anyone has any pointers, please tell me, I need all the help I can get 😭

PS: This is only tentative. I’ve expressed interest in doing it, but nothing is set in stone yet! However, if there are people interested in this idea, then I’ll definitely take it into consideration whether or not this will, or will not happen!

---

That’s all I want to address. Hope this clears things up for everyone!

[nibwhipdragon]

what are some of your favourite fics?

Oooh boy. I have...a lot. Uh. How do I start. OK this is getting long I'm putting this under a cut

One of my faves is definitely Chasing Stars by @midnighteraser ! I read the fic before actually playing Sonic Frontiers, and when I ended up experiencing a celestial starfall I ended up being disappointed in it. This fic is so beautifully written that it wasn't done justice by the game (usually when people say that it's the other way around...funky). Tbh I like all of Kirsten's fics and simply chose this one due to it being my favourite out of them all, she leans quite heavily into description and they always end up being super good! It's just so. Ough. If I had a printer I'd print out her fics, blend it with some fruit into a smoothie and drink it the descriptions are that good

Another one I definitely am NOT leaving out (because I have too many to feasibly make a list of) from this is Would You Love a Werehog? by @pajulammas ! This fic man. Cannot even describe how much I love it. There isn't much werehog stuff on AO3 (and even less that I'm actually interested in reading, why is a good chunk of it NSFW 😭) so this fic was a lovely gem to find when browsing AO3 one night. It explores Sonic and his feelings towards the werehog form which was something critically underused in Unleashed, and what can I not love about deeper explorations into things shown in canon? Not only that but the sonadow dynamic here...not the biggest sonadow shipper, just neutral on it, but GOD does this fic get their dynamic right. All of Paju's fics get the sonadow dynamic right actually, the plots he has for his fics are great but the great characterisation is also a nice bonus, like getting sauce in a burger you ordered. I will go into his fics and come out with a million thoughts per second and not a single one of those is a "He would not fucking say that" or anything along the lines. It is great. I am also getting off of track. Getting back on track, Chip is in there so the fic is guaranteed a 10/10 in my eyes. I love Chip he is like. Probably in my top 3 sonic characters of all time.

Moving on, there's also Bloody Macarena. Shin almost dies from doing the macarena. And despite the fic being about something more on the comedy/crack side of things, it also goes into some nice detail on Shin and Kanna's relationship, as well as more on Shin's inner thoughts. None of the yttd fics on AO3 have really ever hit the spot, but this one certainly does!

Genuinely surprised it's taken this long for me to list a jjba fic here, but Connected is just. Ough 👍. I am a big fan of horrors, and this hit all the grooves in my mind, it's so good in terms of horror, I love the open ending sm! Though. Only problem is that the fic was so interesting I want to know even more, knowing I'll never be able to. In a hell of my own making... It also reminds me a little of Superhot. And that is always a plus. Superhot is a great game we all love Superhot here

...I'm gonna be real with you all. This fic is actually very good. Please hear me out on this though I have proper reason to it I beg. Anyways if this is how you find out about the existence of Joseph and Caesar enjoy a burger then I am sorry. The contents of the fic is nothing short of cursed and messed up. It's most certainly crack. It sometimes keeps me up at night simply by thinking about it. In horror. Because I've read this a few times to my friends to see their reactions in real time. And repeated reads of things allows you to notice things you didn't notice before. This fic. This fic is genuinely well-written. And that scares me on so many levels. This fic knows that it's cursed and that it's crack, and by knowing that it knows how to throw its punches. You'll get the general crack vibes out of it with the blatant mischaracterisation of Joseph and Caesar. And then out of nowhere the fic will jump you with a sentence that makes you feel like you've been hit in the face with a frying pan (biggest one that comes to mind here is "The pregnant man groaned." and I actually can't believe I'm writing those words on my tumblr blog. This sentence actually hit me so off guard I literally had to pause my reading). There is good structure. There is actual foreshadowing there. How do I live with this info. Help Me

Now, onto more...normal fics. dinner date. is so so SO good I love it so much. Domestic fluff with Joseph and Caesar is always great. And I love food in any and all ways so having it be food oriented is a bonus. I also love the way Joseph is written in this, it's very cool and awesome and feels very in character :3

And to end this off (because this is going to be ridiculously long if I continue, and because it's literally almost midnight here), a more angsty fic in the form of Too Far! Ough. I love fics (and just stories in general) where a character accidentally upsets another character by getting too angry and snapping and saying something they don't mean/shouldn't, it opens up so many possibilities for things to happen it's wonderful <3

There is definitely more but it's not feasible to list them all. So here's a select special few :3

[chaos-monkeyy]

New SGA kinkfic started... There's a deeper reason behind John's falling out with his family when he was younger.

Content warnings for the fic as a whole: Underage (teenage John); eventual angst along with the fun smut; heteronormativity and homophobia; plus dysfunctional family shit. Oh. uh, right. And all the sibling incest 😅 Full tags on AO3, teaser below the cut xx

Chapter 1: Like old times

It starts when Dave’s eighteen, during his first year at college. 

He’s home during the first term break, and he’s been a little nervous coming back. He and John have always been close despite the few years’ difference between them, and Dave has found himself, quite privately, slightly worried that him being away like this will somehow… change things between him and his younger brother. Even though he hasn’t really been gone all that long. 

But it doesn’t change anything. To Dave’s quiet relief, he and John are right back to being inseparable almost from the moment he walks in the front doors. More so, even, than before Dave had left; as though they’re making up for the lost time apart. 

It’s not a long break, and aside from the expected parental interrogation about the school term and being expected to show up for dinner every night— appropriately dressed, of course, and on time— Dave and John are mostly left to their own devices. 

Just like old times. 

It’s familiar, comforting, and eases a little tension Dave doesn’t really realize he’s carrying until it lifts. Not that his first semester at college is going badly. He’s near the top of his class, he’s got the build and the upbringing to excel at pretty much any sport he chooses, and… people like him there. He’s not the rich kid anymore; he’s just one more rich kid instead. 

People like him, and more importantly, girls like him. 

John wants to hear everything Dave will tell him about college outside of class. He’s not worried about the classes themselves; Dave didn’t expect he would be. John’s even smarter than he is and they both know it, even if John does like playing dumb most of the time for some unfathomable reason. The whole thing is going to be a breeze for him once he gets there. Unfairly so; or at least, Dave would be more than a little envious if it were anyone but his little brother. John is just… too damn likable to get annoyed at for something like that. 

What John really wants to know about, what makes him perk up and listen intently and ask a thousand questions, is what Dave gets to do with his free time away from all the stifling rules and constant oversight of living at home. 

“They’re pretty fucking great,” Dave tells him, the day after getting back. They’re out away from the house, back behind the old, unused stables up the hill so Dave can sneak a cigarette before supper without any real risk of getting caught, and John’s just asked him about the parties. 

“Yeah?” John asks, and Dave nods, watching the sun drop towards the horizon. 

“Oh, yeah. Booze, weed. Sex,” he adds, pretending it’s an afterthought, like he’s not bragging about it even though he knows he absolutely is. 

“D’you get laid a lot?” John’s turned towards him now, still leaning against the stable wall. There’s a real bite in the air tonight, though not quite enough for their breath to hang in the air. 

Dave takes a last, long drag of his cigarette before dropping the butt and grinding it into the dirt with his heel to hide it. “C’mon man, what d’you think? Of course I get laid a lot,” he says, and shoots his brother a broad, cocky grin, spreading his arms wide. “Just look at me.” 

[trumpetnista]

CMW2/Trumpetnista: Where I’ve Been and Where I’m Going

Hi, everyone! It's been a long time. I want to let you all know that I'm okay. I know that proof of me still being around has been here since I still do my weekly Wednesday posts and calendar posts. I also updated my Profile after I turned 30 (holy shit, I’m 30! I’ve been on here since 2010!) but I haven't posted like this in a very long time. I still love writing and that my stories haven't been abandoned despite what it looks like. Things in my life have changed significantly, which I’m finally ready to go into detail about for myself and for people who have been wondering what happened to me, if there are even people who were wondering to begin with. I hope so. This is a very long post so I’m gonna put a READ MORE after the lighthearted part so you guys don’t have to read a wall of pretty grim text. TLDR: despite many, many things that have changed in my life, I’ll be returning to writing on FFN, AO3 (when it gets fixed), and posting chapters/fics from there here very soon. I’m making this post to help me keep this promise. I’ll be updating stories, finishing stories, and writing new ones so if you’re interested, please stick around on here, follow me on FFN/AO3 (CMW2), and on Twitter (Trumpetnista) to stay up to date. Thanks for all the years of support and friendship. I love you all. Have a good one!

REASON FOR MY ABSENCE #1: In September 2022, I had a psychotic break and I was hospitalized for a week. At the time, I was drinking heavily and vaping cannabis to the point of addiction and lung damage. The vaping started as pain management for fibromyalgia but quickly snowballed into self medicating. During my time in the hospital, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 which is Bipolar with Mania, which explains so much. It explains a lot of my behavior as a child that I was shamed and punished for. It explains how I approach my relationships with my family and the few friends I have online and IRL. Most of all, it explains my way of approaching fandom. It explains a lot about where my previous energy came from when it came to producing content. 

I was not only genuinely passionate about my fandoms and ships (which I still am!) but looking back on things, a lot of the time, I was in Mania and I didn't have the meds or the professional mental support I needed. I knew that I had depression and anxiety. I knew that I struggled and still struggle with suicide ideation. I knew that fibromyalgia had a negative effect on my mental health and cited that as the reason for my writing slowing down, which I explained in my previous MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR on my FFN profile, which I’ll be updating with this first part of this text post for my friends/readers on there but I didn’t know what was happening to me. I knew something wasn’t right in my head but I wrote it off as what I just listed above and as another effect of the grief I felt from losing one of my baby sisters from brain cancer in 2016. Fortunately, I already had a therapist and a psychiatrist so it was only a matter of finding the correct medications and adjusting my cognitive behavior therapy to deal with my condition.

I used writing as a way to vent about what I was frustrated about in fandom and in real life (which you probably already knew from my patented rambling Author’s Notes, LMAO!) and as escapism, which is good in moderation. I didn’t have any moderation so I stopped altogether. Now that my treatment is going well and I’ve learned to have middle gears instead going from 0 to 100, I want to return to writing. It’s still a coping mechanism for the chaos in my life but it’s no longer a crutch. Plus, I really want to finish/update some of my stories that haven’t been touched for years at this point. I also have new ideas for old fandoms that I’ve returned to, new fandoms, and ideas for impending content. 

REASON #2 FOR MY ABSENCE: I have been in the process of deprogramming myself from being raised in a Cult. From the age of 8 to when the pandemic hit, I was part of the Jehovah's Witnesses. You'd never know it through my writing/tweeting or how I behaved when I was in my later years of schooling/with my fandom friends, which I'll get back to in a minute. 

In my heart of hearts, I always knew that what I was learning and doing was wrong. For every thing that made sense, there were several things that didn’t. Plus, my social anxiety made the preaching work that JWs are known for downright unbearable to do to the point of me stopping except for the bare minimum. I didn't get solid proof that what I believed was wrong until my older sister and almost all of my younger siblings left in 2020. When I asked them why, I found out about the long time corruption in highest parts of the organization. There's greed, fraud, and large scale emotional manipulation through teachings, not from the Bible but teachings that came from propaganda. Typical Cult things. I was very upset but willing to learn more because like I said, deep down, I had a feeling that how I was living was wrong. What was my breaking point, what made me immediately leave without looking back, was finding out just how they feel about the safety of children from predators. 

I watched To Catch a Predator Live when I was a child and ever since, I've had a zero tolerance for people who manipulate and abuse children for their own gratification. I have even less tolerance for those who cover for them instead of turning them in to the proper authorities. Naively, I thought that the sort of behavior that's been exposed in other religions/Cults wasn't a part of the Jehovah's Witnesses but I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. They indoctrinate those inside to forgive those who have done the heinous things because God demands it. For those outside, they just have really good PR in North America to keep their sickening ways mostly under wraps (which is thankfully changing to catch up with other regions) and a lot of those victimized by the Cult are shamed/threatened into silence whether they leave or not. Those who speak out after leaving are dismissed as nothing more than apostates. 

It's not apostasy. It's The Truth, which ironically is what the witnesses call their teachings. People inside aren't rebelling and leaving just to cause trouble. It’s not “an attack on God’s People from Satan’s System of Things”. People are realizing that they've been manipulated and are escaping from a toxic environment, even when it costs them so many relationships, familial and social. 

The only sibling that remains in the Cult is my autistic sister and I’m working on finding a way to get her out without destroying her mental health in the process. She is thoroughly indoctrinated and even in the face of all the evidence, I’m unsure if she’d actually listen. She may dismiss it all as apostasy and cut all of us off or she may become so devastated that her life would be in danger. She’s 24 years old and despite how our parents treat her, she’s not a baby nor is she stupid. She loves to do deep research on the things that interest her and the Cult is part of that. Eventually, she’ll stumble upon the information the rest of us have and she’ll have to make a decision. I’m hoping for the best but I’m prepared to get her through the worst. I’m not just her big sister, I’m her Caregiver and I will do my best to get her through when the time comes.

Another major thing that made me walk away from the JWs was the blatant homophobia. Even when I considered myself one of them, I never understood why they were so hateful and judgemental towards those who are part of The Alphabet. For as much they preached about showing love to all people, I didn't understand why they put such a big asterisk. I didn’t understand why. It didn’t make any sense. I hated hearing their views. I didn’t agree with them, even when I displayed ignorance, so I made a point not to behave like that in my interactions with LGBTQ+ individuals. I wanted to be a geuninely good person. I wanted to support my friends and family that trusted me enough to come out to me. I even said when they asked why I wasn’t cutting them off and I quote: “as many things that are wrong with me, I have no business judging anyone else.” 

Plus, I myself am bisexual (and demisexual). I am. I am part of The Alphabet and I will no longer feel ashamed or embarassed about my identity. JWs are homophobic and it’s paired with purity culture so for years and years, I felt confused. I felt unnatural. I felt guilty. I felt like I had to hide who I was. I never want to feel that way again. Learning that the JWs were a Cult and just as corrupt as the other organized religions I wanted nothing to do with was my way out and my way Out. 

I am free and even though it’s been difficult at times, I am so glad that I no longer have to pretend to be someone I’m not to please people who genuinely don’t give a shit about me. I’m being who I’ve always been online and in fandom from the age of 15. I’m being the person I was at school back in 2007-2011, who was the true me. A lot of Jehovah’s Witnesses kids give themselves the freedom to be themselves at school, which the Cult calls ‘living a double life’.

What’s made things easier for me in my deprogramming journey is that I’m not starting from scratch. I am so grateful for that. I’m grateful that I had people outside of the bubble I was in during junior high-high school to show me reality. I’m grateful that I had people to push me to do normal things like NHS and both sitdown and marching band. I’m grateful that I had people who accepted me for who I really was, even when I occaisonally felt guilty for my behavior. Ironically, the fictional worlds and fandom culture with attached friendships that I’ve been a part of this whole time prepared me for my current reality. 

I still struggle with things like celebrating my birthday but I’m in a much better place than a lot of former JWs. I didn’t have any close friends in the Cult and the people in charge left me alone. I didn’t have a lot of responsibilities and I wasn’t held up as an example for people to follow. All I had to do was stop going to meetings and preaching (which was such a relief to let go of) before telling my immediate family, which was the only fear I had. I was afraid of losing them because the doctrine says that you’re supposed to cut off people who leave, even if they’re family. I already went into detail about my siblings and their relationship with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Even though one of them is still involved, the bond between us all is stronger than the doctrine. I’m so happy to be able to say that. Not many people who leave can.

Now, let’s talk about my parents who have accepted the fact that most of us are Gone but I want to talk about them anyway because it factors into what’s going on with me. 

Plus, as you’ve picked up by now, this post is both an announcement to friends/followers and the first of likely many journal entries. The majority of the journal entries are gonna be private with READ MOREs and DNIs so you can avoid them because they’re gonna be pretty grim 98% of the time. 

My father has been a staunch believer for decades but recently, his health has taken a turn for the worse. In March 2023, he had complications from undiagnosed congestive heart failure. After being treated, he was transferred to a nursing home that neglected him to the point of him getting bedsores. One of the bedsores became a nasty open wound due to him being diabetic, leading to him needing a colostomy bag to prevent the wound from being infected further. He is currently bedbound and some of the procedures he’s gone through to save his life have gone directly against the JWs doctrines. Blood transfusions are against the doctrine but my mother has given him blood to save his life. Not to mention that very few people who claimed to be his friends have actually visited him in the facilities he’s been in. And those very few people have no idea about the blood transfusions because if they did, it’s likely that they’d heavily condemn him for accepting them. All he has at the end of the day is us.

Ideally, this situation would be a wake up call but my father is a narcissist. He’s never been able to admit when he’s wrong and there’s also the sunken cost fallacy. The JWs got into contact with him and my mother in the 80s and they’ve structured their whole lives around the doctrine. They gave him a family and a Community he lacked due to a bad childhood with a shitty mother in name only, no father, and a delinquent younger brother. They latched onto his vulnerability and gave him purpose. They also provided him with a steady source of people for him to be a narcissist with because for every person he’s alienated, inside and outside the Cult, there have been plenty of people to replace them. Accepting that the Witnesses are corrupt means admitting that he was wrong this whole time. It means that he’d have to accept that he as the Provider failed his wife and children in the worst way. It means that he’d have to be humble and get actual help for his years of trauma plus his narcissism. From what I’ve seen and heard over the years, it’s clear that he would rather die than do that. Maybe I’m wrong. I hope I’m wrong.

My mother’s situation is different. She is physically disabled and has been for years. She is diabetic and she is morbidly obese, as was my father before his recent illness. She’s been in a codependent relationship with my father for over 40 years and she is also a narcissist. It’s a hell of a combination. She’s basically followed my father’s lead this whole time while eventually alienating people, leaving her circle of friends to those within the Cult. I would have the same resignation for her that I have for my father, except for one major thing. Thanks to Ancestry. com, my older sister found her birth mother who had been looking for her for years. She’s gone from being an only child orphan to having a mother again and she now is the oldest of 5 siblings and counting. None of them have any connection to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and never have. They had normal lives with normal childhoods. Most of all, all of them are showing her unconditional love, which is something that she’s never experienced before. Not from her adoptive parents. Not from my father. Not from anyone. 

My mother has not only been given a family outside the one she created with my father (and we all love her dearly. We really do, even with our ongoing frustrations with her...) but she has been given a way out of the Cult. She’s no longer isolated. Plus, Dad falling ill so quickly has forced her out of the bubble she’s been in since she stopped working back in 1999. She was told to stay home and raise us, which she honestly did not do. While Dad was at work, she shifted the day to day parenting responsibilities of the younger kids to myself and my older sister. Another thing that’s forcing her out of the bubble is all of us enforcing boundaries against her narcissism and learned helplessness. 

We love her dearly but we are tired. Dad getting sick has shaken up all of our worlds. We emphasize with her but it’s come to a point where we can’t take much more, which is where her family comes in. Them being outside of the situation provides perspective that we haven’t been able to have. Through that perspective and the love that all of them are showing her, Mom is slowly (and I do mean slowly...) reaching out for professional help for her years of trauma. She has a therapist now and hopefully, that will lead to a psychiatrist that will give her proper medication because I am 98% sure that she is Bipolar as well. A lot of her behavior mirrors mine from before I was diagnosed and it had to come from somewhere.

In the process of getting professional help, through connecting with her biological family, and while dealing with what’s happened to Dad, I believe that she’s breaking away from the JWs. I honestly think that the only reason she’s stayed as long as she has is because she was following Dad’s lead. She may believe herself but since he’s been hospitalized, she has stopped going to the meetings. She’s stopped preaching and she’s been giving Dad blood, which again is directly against the JW’s doctrine. If she truly believed, she wouldn’t have done it. At least that’s the way I’m looking at things. I hope I’m right.

To wrap this post up and to give a TL:DR, I just want to say that my return to writing is a part of my healing journey. And my return to writing is for Me. I’m truly putting myself first for the first time in my life and part of putting myself first is giving myself permission to fully enjoy the things I love without guilt or hesitation. Thank you for reading. 

[andro-dino]

Hey! It’s CureDeity (sorry tumblr makes me ask from my main). I am here, in your inbox today, to rattle my little empty coin can and ask you to list some of your favorite beyblade fanfics! I’m going around asking a lot of people this, so feel free to ignore it if you want, but I thought this might be a good way for people to shout out some of the fanfic they really enjoy! Btw, if you can, I thought it would be helpful to list which site this fic was on so others could find it easier if they wanted to. Also, if you’ve written any fic (or have fic ideas, as we all know, imagining the same scene over and over again is the bread and butter of a writer), please also take this chance to have a massive, amazing ego and tell us which of your fics you're most proud of/is your favorite/etc.

WOOO LETS GO

I don’t read a ton of fics, mostly because I just don’t like reading as a whole and usually don’t have the energy for it, so I apologize if I skip over anyone

All of these are going to be on ao3 because I’ll die before I seriously venture into the wastelands (wattpad and ffnet)

So, starting with my own fics, tbh I tend to hate most of them immediately after I post them, but the two I’m most proud of still are A Confrontation and Hyoma’s Experience in Perpetual Loneliness. Both focus on characters with a lot of angst potential and I still really like how they came out. Confrontation made me genuinely upset while writing it so I was pretty dang confident in it, while Perpetual Loneliness explored a more bittersweet kind of feeling and the complexities of Hyoma’s attachment issues and ways of coping with loneliness in his life that i really like to develop. Also a shameless excuse to write soft domestic kyohyotsu, which is always a plus.

As for you deity, obviously you have a lot of bangers and carry the fanfic side of this fandom on your back, but a couple of my personal favorites from you are the one you made for me with a title too long for me to want to type it out and Ursa Minor. I love the gift fic for the super interesting story, wonderful interactions between starbreaker, emotional scenes that made me sob, and investment I felt in Faust and Zeo’s relationship, AND OBVS YOURE A FUCKING MADLAD FOR WRITING ME A 27K FIC WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU (I still have fanart I need to make of that btw I will get to it eventually I prommy). And Ursa Minor was one that I read early on getting into the fandom and it’s just really gentle and sweet and I liked it a lot. Obviously all your fics are bangers but those are my personal favs.

@lady-lazagna has so many bangers too it’s also hard to choose just a few. The first one that came to mind for me was her mayblade collection, which is just full of absolute bangers all the way through, and then I also remembered Warm Welcome Home because it was cute and made me laugh and I am indeed a sucker for tsujack content

OBVIOUSLY I can’t go without mentioning @heybeyby ‘s fdwdbg because as soon as shekel pitched the idea to me we talked about it for genuinely like 6 hours straight. Every time she brings up a new idea for it I start spinning around at rapid speeds and I am so excited to see how it takes the story in the future because it is gonna be so goddamn good.

One of my favorite fics ever of all time without a doubt is Irisviel101’s Chrysanthemum , which is probably obvious coming from me because it’s a takanosuke and sakyo centric fic, BUT IT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD AND CUTE AND FUNNY AND IT MAKES MY HEART EXPLODE EVERY TIME I READ IT AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH GOD ITS SO GOOD PLS READ IT IF YOU HAVENT

I also can’t go without mentioning Gesso by Arcylic because I absolutely adore how they wrote jack and Zeo together and it’s what made me absolutely fall in love with their friendship dynamic, and what originally inspired me to write Zeo’s Experience in Team Starbreaker

This one. This one goes without saying anything. I just totally adore it and I love the dynamics explored between the characters here.

There’s probably definitely some I’m forgetting here but these are a good couple I wanted to highlight

BUT ALSO.

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS UNTIL RECENTLY. I CANNOT REMEMBER WHEN THIS KYOYA/TSUBASA FIC WAS POSTED BUT I READ IT AGES AGO AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT BUT I CANNOT FIND IT NOW. I HAVE NO IDEA WHO POSTED IT OR WHAT IT WAS CALLED AND ALL I HAVE OF IT IS THIS SCREENSHOT

I fucking loved this fic and I have no idea what happened to it

[aemonds-sapphire]

I just wanted to add that I as well have tons of new stories and drafts from Aemond but seeing how readers refused to reblog nor comment really irks me.

I might just continue what I already have posted than posting the others I had written long ago. (Or will probably transfer all of them in AO3).

I might wait for S2 if this will be the case because I feel like more bots were just reading my stuffs and its no fun seeing likes.

Hi anon! I’m sorry you feel this way and that you think your were wouldn’t be appreciated…

The reason I post here and not on AO3 is because you get to reach a wider audience here. You post a fic and its added to the ‘Latest’ tab and it can potential get to the ‘Hot’ tab if it does well enough (I’m not sure what the criteria is though… but most of my fics only really blow up after a day or so). AO3 is a bit trickier because your story will just het buried and if you don’t do well right away it’s hard. Especially for one shots.

Plus, the inevitable loss in interest as there is no new content to feed off of. So having to wait until late 2023 (maybe some promotional photos) and 2024 can be too long.

I can’t really complain as I think my fics did fairly well, but I’ve now started to notice the sudden drop in engagement. I don’t think it’s a testament to our lack skill as writers per se, but that people simply don’t check the Aemond tag as often as they did a week ago.

You come first. Don’t force yourself to be where you don’t feel good. If you feel like waiting for s2 is better, then go for it ❤️

[yellowlaboratory]

Annie my love, I'd love to pick your brain on all of these for the ao3 wrapped game, but I'll pick some! ❤️

18, 19 (I'm looking at this like any pairings within a fandom or a different fandom! Let me hear it all!), 26, 28

diana my love!!! you are an angel and I adore you always

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

uhhhh okay this is a hard one but i think I'm going to have to go with Fez from Euphoria. i am completely enamored with him (and Lexi) but I can't ever seem to get him quite right, so I've never published anything for them. usually, when I'm starting to write for a new show/ship, I write a bunch of little snippets that never really see the light of day, and I word vomited a lot of those types of thoughts into my google doc folder. Fez has a very distinct voice, and that usually helps me find a character, but for some reason, I just wasn't able to. Every time i wrote something, it didn't feel quite right. I think this might also have to do with the fact that I haven't re-watched s2 of Euphoria in its entirety since it came out. watching Euphoria is kind of like…. emotionally draining, lmao.

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

ohh!! in terms of new pairings.... well, I'm finishing Wednesday right now, and I have a predisposition to a certain ship, so I'm thinking I might find a little inspiration there (but also… i think the fandom is vvveeeryyy split between the ships so we'll see). I also want to actually try to publish a Nancy/Ace fic next year!! I have one that's like 75% written, and we'll see if I can get it the rest of the way. oh - and I want to finish the spideychelle fic I've been working on since NWH came out. These are all lofty goals, lmao. other than that, with s3 Jiara and s4 Rina fast approaching.... I'm really, REALLY excited to see what kind of inspiration the new content might bring. next year is gonna be wild I'M SO EXCITED.

26. What’s your most common category?

i might be a dumbass ("might" lmao) but i confused myself about what category means so I'm just gonna take it to mean tag. my most common tag is JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera (shocker), and I think other than that, I've used "so slow it's almost no burn" a couple times. i have a brand to maintain, people. other than that, the way i tag fics is completely and utterly unhinged so most of my tags are like "margaritas as a love language" or something equally useless that i only use once.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year?

i think my favorite might be turn it right around, even though it's not quite finished. i wrote it in a haze after s3. sometimes, I get this compulsive need to get a fic out of my system (if that sounds insane it's cause it is asdlkjfhasdkjf i get blinders on and i can't focus on another fic for so long). anyways, it's a very specific feeling and it's only happened with pltc, trun it right around, and one other fic that i never ended up publishing, but those are usually the ones that mean the most to me personally. plus, you know my love for circular plotlines and self-callbacks, and I really let myself lean into that again in this fic, especially in the last chapter. there are parts of it I am very excited about aksdjfhlksjdf

ao3 wrapped!

[brotherwtf]

I want to write a fic but I've never written before not do I have any experience in writing anything tbh. Plus English isn't my first language. Any advice?

hey anon!!

honestly my one piece of advice is to just go for it. It's gonna be a little rough at first, writing long form content is no joke, but if you're having fun while doing it that's all that really matters. fanfic is supposed to be for the soul and you're writing what makes you happy, if it's passionate it comes off as such and reads really well.

if you don't have any experience writing, that's okay! I barely had any experience when I started writing fics also! it's a little daunting to see such talented writers in fandom and feeling the need to compare yourself to them (I too have fallen victim to that), but no experience is required to be a fic writer lol. all you need is an idea and a doc and you're a fic writer. it takes a lot of courage to sit down and write a fic, getting over the initial hump of anxiety is (for me) the most difficult part.

I always found that just dumping my ideas into a doc or smth was the best way to just get over my anxious feelings about it. that or just writing a scene you have in your head to see how it writes out, just dumping kind of helps me with the fic writing process

I've also found that having someone (a mutual, follower, friend, etc) to bounce ideas off of is really helpful. having a second opinion is nice to see what ideas flow nicely and which ones are kinda clunky. my messages and inbox are always open, so feel free to ask for help if you ever feel like you need it☺️☺️

honestly, I have read some of the most beautiful and captivating fics from people who's first language isn't English! I wouldn't let a language barrier stop you from enjoying fandom and participating in it, everyone should be able to have fun. I know there's a fair amount of fics in other languages on AO3, so it doesn't have to be in English! it doesn't matter if it's your first, second, third language, people are going to eat up content no matter what.

honestly my big take away is don't be afraid to write fics. fandom is a big wonderful world where you get to take the reins and have fun with it, and that includes writing fics about whatever you want. just know that there will always be people (myself being one of them) who will love and support your work.

again, my messages and inbox are always open! I'd love to hear fic ideas or hcs all day long, I'm here to help! 💕💕

[hamyheikki]

Fic/ao3 Writing Ask Game!

Got tagged by @autisticwriterblog! Thanks, mate!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 108 works in total, on my main account. Some more in another side account and then a few in anonymous collections.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 232,664 words on my main account.

3. What fandoms do you write for? It appears that I have 16 fandoms listed on ao3. Currently tho, I am doing mostly SINF (Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel) stuff, and I wanna really get back into writing my niche pairs for other fandoms, like Kled x Heimerdinger for League of Legends. Or some completely new pairs, like Soval x Maxwell from Star Trek. My interests tend to bounce around, so who knows what I end up actually finishing in the end. But mostly it is just rare pairs. They intrigue me.

4. Top five fics by kudos? Oh boy, this is gonna be a blast from the past. - Number 1: Butter Cake and Pie, (The Shape Of Water fic) - Number 2: One of Those Nights (Simpsons fic) - Number 3: Infection (Pacific Rim fic I feel guilty for not finishing to this day. I really need to get it done at some point, it has been eating away at my already small storage of sanity) - Number 4: Night Of Terror (Spiderman fic) - Number 5: Movie Night For All (Spiderman fic)

5. Do you respond to comments? Always! I find it fun, I adore the interactions, and I feel it's the least I could do for people who were kind enough to leave a comment.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? This would be much easier if I actually remembered half the stuff I have written xD But I would venture a guess that the fic I did for @three-two-six's OCs called "From Start to Finish" might be the one. It has actual death in it, after all.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I really can't say, looking at this list I have up for my ao3, most of these have a very happy ending. Of the ones I remember writing. No idea what goes down in half of these, to be honest.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I cannot recall ever getting any hateful comments. I write for such niche pairings that usually people are very pleasant and fun, and seemingly greatful to get fics written for their pair. Very nice folks all around.

9. Do you write smut? ... Maybe. Shh though!

10. Craziest crossover? I don't remember ever writing a crossover. They are not usually my cup of tea.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Hah, no :D I don't think they are really succesful enough to be worth stealing.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, again, they are not really good enough for that. Plus the fandoms and pairs are I write for tend to be quite small, and/or the original content is already in English, so most readers can read them in the original language.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No but they do sound like fun, if you manage to find a fitting writing buddy.

14. All time favourite ship? In general, or from the ships I personally write for? Either way, I find it very difficult to pick. They come and go in waves; one month I can be obsessed with a ship, then move on to another one, then come back like half a year later, and the circle just goes on. BUT few of the most permantent ones are: - Hermann & Newton from Pacific Rim - McCoy & Spock from Star Trek - Ackroyd x Strickland from Vampyr (... does anyone else ship them? Come on, they are RIGHT THERE, enemies to lovers! ... no?) - Soval x Maxwell from Star Trek - Julian x Garak from Star Trek ... Considering I have never watched a season of any Star Trek series from start to finish, or written any fics for that fandom, it is quite heavily featured here.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I've had this HUGE and long CONTROL fic in works, focusing on getting Dylan saved and using Hartman to do it. But I kinda lost steam on that one. Maybe when the sequel to the game comes out and I see the characters again, I get the shot in the arm that pushes me to actually finishing it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I wouldn't call it a strenght necessarily (because I am a Finn and bragging is something we can't have) but I do like to write dialog and character -focused pieces.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Discipline, to actually get ANYTHING on the paper, and in terms of writing itself, moving the characters around. You can only have so many basic "X walked across the room" sentences in one paragraph before you and your readers want to cut your fingers off.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If another language is a vital part of the character and they generally use it in the original material as well, I feel it's important to add. I usually try to find a person who actually speaks the language I wanna write, because Google Translate can be a real imp at times, and people in places like here in Tumblr tend to be very friendly when asked for help.

19. First fandom you wrote in? Star vs The Forces of Evil. Another show I never finished but managed to write stuff for anyway.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Butter Cake and Pie. It is such a niche pairing (Dmitri x Giles), for a small fandom, but I feel on technical level, it is the best fic I ever wrote. Now if only I could somehow recapture that skill, please. Please. What do I have to do?

This was really fun! But for the life of me, I cannot remember which ones of my mutuals are major fic writers :D SO if you follow me and are a fic writer, consider yourself tagged!

[firedragon1321]

Big rant about my Capsule Zaurus stuff below. Mostly about fanworks, copyright, concept art, and how I use copyrighted material in my stuff.

Before I start the rant- I want to mention that I put a lot of links in here. A few go to my artwork. But most provide extra info and clarification. Some of it is because Capsule Zaurus is a pretty overlooked prototype to Digimon, so not all Digi-fans know what it is. Some of it is because I have been in fandom a long time and I lost track of when people stopped using squick and I don't know what the kids use these days. Feel free to click a link if you're confused about anything.

I want to return to my Capsule Zaurus project because Tomoya (the character in the header) is doing that "character wants attention and occupies your thoughts" thing. I really don't want to focus on fanfic right now (mostly because I'm drowning in WIPs). But I don't know if the project counts as original fic, or to what extent.

For the uninitiated, here is a brief timeline of Capsule Zaurus from conception to today.

Bandai draws concept art for a virtual pet game for boys in 1997

Doesn't use it because it's too similar to Pokemon

Puts it in a drawer

Does NOTHING until 2013

Puts it in an artbook

NEVER mentions it again

Fandom posts translations and then sleeps (you can read all the info in the first two links)

I learn about it almost a year ago at an anime con and get inspired

I draw all this stuff- including some redesigns, but also original Zaurus and human characters

I come up with this batshit insane plot and world to go with the concept art

I find myself in a tangle of mostly original ideas, with vestigial but clear connections to Bandai's work

I'm not sure if it should just go to Ao3 or if I should rework my elements and characters into something else

Bandai's Capsule Zaurus isn't a finalized work. It is concept art. I'm a raccoon digging through the trash and taking things Bandai doesn't even want. But chances are they still hold the copyright for it. Not to mention the name likely comes from Pocket Zaurus, which is published and certainly copyrighted.

Putting the work on Ao3 would be extremely tricky, too. It would have to be tagged as Capsule Zaurus- which is not a fandom at the moment- plus Digimon, plus Original Work. This obtuse collection of fandom tags would likely be confusing, and I doubt anyone would read it.

It doesn't help that the story is T at mildest and M at highest. I don't write E-rated content. But that's what people want over there. I've noticed some authors who write both get a lot more hits on their sexy stuff over their tame or gen work, and good gen writers often go ignored.

So if I don't want my story to rot on Ao3, I'd probably have to remove the Zaurus characters entirely and make it original. This seems counterproductive. But it's the more likely route I'd go to preserve my original stuff. I don't want to do that, since I love Digimon and I like the "what could have been" nature of the concept art. But I really hate filing the serial numbers off of shit without acknowledging it as parody/mentioning the creators which...this isn't.

Below are two examples of me acknowledging parody and playing with copyright. Keep in mind I cut my teeth on 2007-era fanfiction, so people were constantly writing "I do not own this" on their shit.

For my Toon-iverse Saga, I have a Character Who's a Lot Like Tai (Soren, actually- it's more obvious in his backstory). But the back of the book credits Bandai/Toei/everyone I can possibly think of. The books are made of characters like this, and calls back to the source material while doing something unique. You don't need to know the original material to understand the plot, though doing so helps if you're looking for Easter Eggs.

Then, there's Zunru, which is a love letter to and critique of Pokemon. You don't need an in-depth knowledge of Pokemon to understand it (though as with the Toon-iverse Saga, it helps with Easter Egg hunting). The first few chapters even seem like "we live in harmony with these wonderful creatures!". But then the charade falls away, and the story reveals itself to be its own animal. At the end of each of these books, there is a credit to "Satoshi Tajiri, GameFreak, and Associated Parties", indicating that this is parody, I acknowledge the original but this is my own thing, etc., etc. Which is more than Temtem/Palworld did, but that's another story.

These are both instance of fair use, with possibly too much butt-covering spurred on by my fanfiction dot net heritage. They aren't like, say, writing a Twilight fanfiction, changing only the names, publishing it, and deleting the evidence. Which I feel trying to publish Capsule Zaurus as it is right now is pretty close to.

I just don't know what to do for Capsule Zaurus. I don't want to focus on fanfiction right now. But Tomoya is screaming against my skull and banging pots and pans. I'm sure I'll find the solution. It might be as simple as changing a few designs a bit more to make them more unique and not using the word "Zaurus". But that's still filing off the serial numbers.

Dammit, Tomoya.

[honeyhotteoks]

do you have any fic recommendations for yunho?

I definitely, definitely do. i'm thinking about making a comprehensive post of my favorite ateez fics in general, because i've read SO many but here are a few of my personal yunho faves that I keep coming back to:

interrupted thoughts by @yunhoflrtz - this series is still ongoing, but believe me when i tell you, it's good and i actively look forward to the updates. idol!yunho x makeup artist!reader ((also just check out their yunho masterlist, it's full of great fic!)) anything by @hongism (for any member including yunho), but especially this fic. engaged couple, cute/romantic smut dance for you (part 1 || part 2) by @santhestallion - I cannot recommend this fic enough. it's LONG, well written, and chock full of good angst and smut. dancer!reader x dancer!yunho the yungi soulmates series by yungidreamer on AO3 - this has 20+ chapters that are posted as connected one-shots on AO3. I absolutely love this fic, though it is currently unfinished and i'm not sure if the author is planning to post more. it is still incredibly worth it. yungi x reader, college au, best friends to lovers, sexuality exploration all i want for christmas is you by @starrysvn - i really loved this fic when i finally found it, and i would recommend any of their fics highly, this one just has a special place in my heart. fake dating at the holidays college au panini by @smileysuh - i literally love this fic, but please note it's yungi x reader, not just yunho. this is excellent smut, but also great character work. 10/10 closer, face down by honeyateez on AO3 is some of the best smut i've ever read, and has excellent character development. dom!yunho x sub!reader, mind the tags and triggers. 03. jyh is a chapter of a longer work by @setsugekka called paradise lost- the longer work is hongjoong x reader, but it is one of my absolute favorite ateez fics. the third chapter, which can be read like a standalone, is yunho x reader, and is excellent. after dark by @mingirn is a really tender yunho x reader hurt/comfort smut piece that i love, but i have to also recommend anything that mingirn writes, which you can find on the atz fics tag on their blog. they write for several members including yunho. like the moon by sunmoonjune on AO3 is great so far, an extremely developed fantasy au, which is going to be ot8 x reader, but has great yunho content so far. this is currently in progress, and please mind the tags and triggers. four in the morning by @ateezmakemeweep is one of my faves too. i think most people know this author for their fboy!san multichapter fic, which i also loved, but this 11k one shot is a GEM of a fic. hooked (an smau) from @songmingisthighs -- this is ot8 x reader, but has great yunho content. their smaus are so good and just a really fun time to read, plus it has good smut too! wave (an smau) from @sankyeom is another great smau that i found so fun to read and really enjoyed. college au