#plus over the next few weeks i have stuff going on that'll keep me from staying at the apartment. travel and events and whatever

[mangle-my-mind]

panicking because my apartment might be done this week and i might be actually moving so soon

[yesitsmewhataboutit]

Bloodlust

Vampire!Shoto Todoroki x Reader

➤ You’re leaving for a week. You and Shoto come up with a plan on how he’ll survive while you’re gone, but things don’t always go as planned

»»——⍟——««A/n: ngl yall, this sat in my drafts finished for MONTHS 😭I apologize. But uhh…. This will prolly be my last vampire au writing😅

Warning⚠️: blood, needles, medical stuff (I’m aware I’m not a doctor idc if it’s inaccurate), cliffhanger ending depending on how well you know me

Masterlist

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Clothes, toiletries, shoes, snacks, and your carry-on. Yup, you're all packed. Only one last thing to do before you left for your flight.

Today, you're leaving for a week long trip for your job. You're leaving, and Todoroki's staying. As much as he would love to come with you, he has things to care of while you're gone. You're all packed, ready to head out the door, except for the last -most important- thing you have to do before you leave.

You leave your bags at the front door, opting to search for the boy in question. You find him sitting at the edge of your bed, scrolling through his laptop. "Sho, I'm ready to go, wanna start?"

He looks up, smiling at you and setting his laptop to the side, meeting you at the bedroom door in a few quick strides. "Yeah," he leans down giving you a quick kiss on the lips, "go ahead to the living room, I'll get the supplies."

You follow his instructions, sitting down and making yourself comfortable as you wait for him to get the items needed to draw your blood. Usually, Shoto feeds from you, but since he can't go with you, plus you're going to be gone for a week, you made the decision on him drawing blood from you to keep him fed while you're gone.

He comes into the living room, sets everything down on the table, and turns to you. He offers you his hand, a sign to give him your arm. When you do, he pauses. "You should probably lie down." You do, keeping your arm outstretched to him and relaxing on the couch. "Let me know if it hurts too much."

He goes the full nine yards, wrapping a tie around your arm, rubbing his finger over the spot he picked to make sure the blood is pumping. He does it all. He gives you one last look, needle in hand, before sticking you with it, watching your blood filter from your body, into the bag next to you.

"You sure that'll be enough?" you ask, noticing he only has two blood bags.

"Yes, Love. I'll need to pace myself while your gone," he says gently, bringing his hand up to rest on your cheek.

You smile, turning your head a bit to look at him. "I wish you were coming."

"I wish I was coming too. but it's ok, you'll be back in no time," he laughs slightly, "and I'll again get to drink from the sweet source." He leans over, playfully nudging his nose again your cheek, making you squirm and laugh for a moment before lays his hand on your stomach. "Don't move too much."

His tone says he doesn't want to waste any blood that might drip, but his eyes say he just doesn't want to accidentally hurt you, needle being in your arm and all, so you settle smiling at him and waiting to be done.

"Ok, one more, almost done," he says, pressing his thumb to stop the flow, changing the bag and securing it before hooking up a new one and letting it start filling again. "You're doing so well. Thank you for this." Shoto settles his hand into yours, rubbing his thumb in circles on your skin.

"Of course, anything for you, Sho. Just don't get caught with blood bags in the fridge and medical supplies in the bathroom while I'm gone," you joke, earning and laugh from him.

About halfway through the second bag, Shoto notices your eyes starting to flutter shut. You're fighting unconsciousness. Shoto scoots closer, his hand instinctively going to your shoulder. "Y/n? Hey, Love, do you need me to stop?" He barely waits for an answer before his hands are creeping down to unhook everything.

"No, no, I'm ok," you sigh weakly, "want- want you to finish."

Todoorki bites his lips, looking down at the three-quarters-filled bag. 'Ok, ok. Almost done, almost done, baby," he says quickly.

The second the bag is filled he wastes no time unhooking the needles and stopping everything, checking over your whole body, listening to heart rate, and letting you lay on the couch as he cleans everything. This is the first time you had done this, and everyone reacts to getting blood drawn differently, so it's not even a thought as Shoto offers to instead drive you to the airport, wanting you to rest in the car ride, of course, giving you and a small bowl of cereal and juice to eat before heading on the road.

"Thanks again. You know it means a lot," he says, pulling up to the airport drop-off area. You'd slept the whole ride, getting enough strength to make it through security, to the gate, and on your plane, where you'll probably sleep the whole ride.

"Of course, Sho. No regrets," you smile. "Be safe while I'm gone."

He laughs and frowns. "That's my line."

You smile. “Yeah, guess it is.” You lean to him, giving him one last kiss goodbye. “Love you.”

“Love you, too”

--

Your trip went well, and you're happy to be coming back. You missed Todoroki and your home. The first two days, things seemed fine, he'd text you and call when possible, keeping you updated, after though, things got quieter until it was just plain silence.

You chose not to let yourself worry, burying yourself in the work you had to do while you were gone and not thinking about it, knowing he's fine, he's strong, and he'll be home when you get back. Judging by the text you got from him before you boarded the flight home, you knew the last few days must have only been paranoia and circumstances:

See you soon, Y/n.

You pull up to your home and get out, getting your bags and walking to the front door. There's something running through your veins. Partially excitement to see Shoto again, but also something else. Fear? Dread? You weren't sure, but whatever it is, it still pushes you on as you unlock the door and open it.

If it wasn’t fear that you felt before, you definitely felt it now. The house was dark, only light coming through the blinds lit it enough for you to see. And it’s cold, any colder you’d be able to see your own breath. Things are scattered everywhere, almost like someone went into a fit of anger and started throwing things.

You leave your bags on the floor, forgotten about as you step forward, Shoto’s name on the tip of your tongue, but dying in your mouth before the first syllable even comes out, a flash and small burst of cold air going past you, and then you feel arms circle you from the side, pulling you into a cold body.

Your breath is caught in your throat as you feel Shoto’s breath on your neck. You try to speak, try to move, but he’s strong, keeping you pinned against him, even at the weird angle.

His hand grasps your neck, tightening around it and keeping you still as he leans in. You feel panic start to rise in your bloodstream. What could’ve happened? He said you left enough blood, everything should have been fine. But you know this, you know the signs, you caught a quick enough glimpse of Shoto’s blown pupils. The way his usual eye colors are gone, you feel his tight grip in every move he makes. The look on his face tells it all.

This is Shoto’s bloodlust.

He’s only been in bloodlust twice before around you, but both of those times it wasn’t necessarily geared toward hunger, but now, you’re not sure what’ll happen. But you still hold on to the thought that Todoroki knows you, he loves you, and he isn't going to kill you. He’d rather go through all his life again and have to redo every moment again before he drained you of all the blood you need to live. You trust him.

Todoroki squeezed his hand around your neck, making your pulse jump once again as he drags you to his mouth, also leaning down all at the same time and opening his mouth.

There’s no second thought, no hesitation or regard, only the pain of the bite. The feeling of his fangs digging into your skin, eager and draining your blood. It’s fast, so fast you can almost feel the blood rushes out of you, a big change compared to how he usually does it, slow and steady, letting you savor the tranquil feeling like you usually do.

You can feel his arms wrapped firmly around your body, and for a second, he pulls away, but only so he can turn you, making your chest flush against his as he digs his fangs into your skin again.

This time, it only lasts about ten seconds before you feel your vision to go. Your body feeling heavy, and suddenly so much more tired than seconds ago. Your eyes flutter shut, and your legs go out, consciousness slipping from your grasp.

Todoroki feels your body going limp, and he secures his arm around you, keeping you against him as he continues to feed. He carries you to the bedroom, his mouth still attached, and he lays you on the bed, his body fully over yours as your blood begins seeping from his mouth, and he continues to feed.

Shoto loves you, he protects you, you trust him. Shoto would never kill you.

Masterlist

[vtforpedro]

long life update - TWs in tags

It feels like it's been ages. I'm so exhausted and in a lot of physical pain. Going on two months of it being the worst it's been right after a couple of months of the best it's been. Chronic pain + grief + trying to get help from doctors who should have their licenses revoked + dealing with a shit relationship with my mom + a good, decades-long friendship ending + the ongoing disability process with the SSA + LAW FIRMS.

I'm so fucking tired. I don't remember if I updated that the appeals council decided not to review my case because the 'judge followed the law' except that he didn't. So, as it turns out, my original attorney (and he did not tell me this) before he left, wrote that if they denied me, it should go to federal district court.

I'm now working with a NY law firm to take my case to federal court because my current law firm believes it has merit, and I guess they do, too. That's how fucked the decision was, and I'm glad my initial reaction of bewilderment and anger was spot on lol

The good news is, it should only take another year! ._.

My neurologist is the worst doctor I have ever come across and I'm quite literally stuck with him with nowhere else to go. I wish him upon no one. I'm so tired of calling the SSA, getting documents to them, signing things for law firms, contacting law firms, getting no responses, and contacting them all over and over again. I am in incredible physical pain, like this actively makes my neuro stuff worse. Everything makes it worse. I have autonomic testing in a few days, and idk if I'll get through it b/c I have to stop the meds that keep me out of the ER two days prior, and it scares me.

My relationship with my mom is fractured and I don't feel like family therapy is actually helping. I had to end a friendship with someone I love and care very much about but who was growing too comfortable mistreating me and I was giving them too many passes 😞 I've known them for the better part of two decades.

It's been over seven months since my cat Isis died. I don't know how. It feels like she was here just yesterday. Yet, all the nights I've sat and talked to her and wept are all too real. I miss her more than I can say. She was my soul cat. I keep thinking about tomorrow and how she'd be so nosy getting into EVERYthing when gifts are opened at Christmas. Having to stop her, move her, laugh because she was just so n o s y and it was hilarious. And she's not gonna be here for that ever again.

I'm having a really fucking hard time tonight. It's just hitting me how god-awful this year has been and how I have a bad week to look forward to before even getting to the new year lmao I have to stop taking so many of my medications 48hrs before 1.5-2hrs of testing to see if we can find out Yet Another Thing Wrong With Me but knowing my luck it'll be 'no findings' and the mystery of why my core body temp plummets to 93.9 in the blink of an eye won't be solved until I have suffered juuuuust enough.

It never ends. Never. I want to give up. I'm so tired of doing this. I don't want to anymore. It never. fucking. ends.

I absolutely cannot say it's all been bad, though. I've met incredible, warm, welcoming, giving, kind people this year. Y'all have helped me more than you know and I'm so so so lucky to be able to call you my friends. This year has sucked for so many of us, but I want to say I'm proud of you, and I love you all very much.

My fic is gonna be printed in a hardcover zine early next year. I participated in a Big Bang for the first time and that'll also go out early next year. I'm hosting a tiny event in my tiny fandom server that I'm super excited about. I have a raffle prize to write (bagginshield !!!! SO EXCITED to revisit the og otp) and a Valentine's gift to write for another fandom.

I posted 401,000 words this year and wrote many more unfinished wips, plus a long one (90k) that I am very invested in finishing.

I painted and drew so much this year. I improved a lot, too! I got a couple of portraits printed from inprnt to see how they looked, and it was MY art, and they were GORGEOUS. I thought I would hate seeing my art professionally printed, but no! I almost cried. They looked so lovely.

My cat Lilly had health issues almost immediately following Isis's passing, but she is doing so well right now. She's blossomed into another cat, and while she's not my constant companion, she is with me so much more than she used to be. When she walks onto my desk I am to stop everything and hold her like baby in my arms until she decides that's enough (or I really need to move) lmaaao she's such a goober. My heart cat. <3

I'm not doing well right now--my MH is bad. Especially tonight. But it felt good to write the good things.

I'm sorry for my lack of replies and kinda disappearing. I'm running on fumes. I hope next year will bring physical relief so emotional relief can happen.

For those of you facing difficulties of any kind, I am holding your hand in spirit.