#plus im not sure how to keep track of the ones ive already filled

[vesselreborn]

Just outta curiosity, what kind of plot/relations would y'all be interested in?

Jumping right into the horror aspects and trying not to succumb to a fate worse than death? Or maybe the calm before the storm where this weird girl is giving ominous warnings telling you to leave the village? Maybe something lighter? An AU/Crossover? I would honestly love it if y'all took some time to tell me!

[irradiatedsnakes]

Hey dude! Someone in a discord server found a bird skull and foot (they think it's an eider duck), and was wondering how to go about cleaning them. Do you have any tips?

ohhh, very cool!! absolutely i do, here's a copypaste of a writeup i did over discord messages a billion years ago for a friend:

firstly: the book vulture culture 101 is spectacular and a comprehensive resource on like, all of this stuff. the ebook's like $10usd. however heres how i go from whole animal or raw skull to bright n shiny clean skulls:

-if your specimen is whole/still has skin and fur, skinning them will save you a lot of time and hassle. takes less time to decompose, and you won't have huge globs of fur in the way (keratin takes much longer to decompose than flesh!)

-if your specimen is now skinned but has all of its meats, you can speed up the process somewhat by.. i cant remeber the word, but basically cutting the big chunks of flesh (like the cheek area) away from the bone. this i totally optional though i almost never do it myself, it just lower the volume of meat that needs to decompose

-now ok. youve got your bones with flesh on them, or maybe you found some nature-cleaned bones that still have some bits and bobs on em. if it's the latter, you might just be able to soak it for a day or two and then pull off any remaining dried bits with tweezers or your fingers (or needlenose pliers. much stronger) and then go onto whitening, but if there's still a substantial amount of flesh:

-find a container with a lid that is big enough to comfortably hold your specimen. i use a storage bin, but depending on how small your specimen is you can use, like, a tupperware container.

-find a space outside where a smell isn't gonna be a big deal. even with a closed lid, there'll usually be a few feet radius that radiate some death rot smell. also, might wanna see if you can keep it protected in some way, especially if you have turkey vultures or other smell-hunting vultures (or other scent-hunting carrion eaters) around. ive had vultures try to break into my bins multiple times! a good sturdy closing lid keeps em out though

-place your specimen into the container, and fill it up with water. you can fill it up enough to cover the specimen entirely, but also, if you have a particularly fleshy specimen you can make the water go up almost all the way to the top, and then leave the lid off your bin for a couple hours (if you know nothing will snatch your specimen! might wanna like, babysit it) to allow flies to lay eggs. maggots will speed up the process a bunch! but either way, place the lid on your container and put it in the safe place. oh! and preferably, you want it somewhere warm, like in the sun.

-now you just wait! this method, maceration, takes a long time! but it produces the best quality bones. now, this step will vary on time based on how much you have to decompose and how hot it is (and whether you have maggot help or not), but heat's the biggest deciding factor. this process works by decomposer bacteria eating up all the flesh, and they work best in the heat! if you're doing this in late fall or winter, prepare to wait til summer arrives for any process. if you're in the height of summer, it might only take two weeks! but either way, youre gonna leave this out for weeks.

-basically depending on the heat, check it when you think its done. you'll know its done by the lack of flesh. the bone might still look dirty- they often become stained weird colors in this part. it's no big deal, it'll go away in the next step. also, teeth will fall out now, because theres little no no soft tissue keeping them in place. thats fine, just keep track of them! pay very close attention to when you pour out the water. incisors are so easy to lose. (also the rotwater is great fertilizer!)

-ok! so it's a couple months later and you have a fleshless skull (or whatever other bones) but it's very stinky and not clean. firstly youre gonna wanna give it a rinse (outside. don't bring this into your home yet. it smells like rot) very carefully, as not to lose any teeth.

-you want another container big enough for your specimen, now. can be the same container if you clean it out very well, but i prefer to have dedicated rot buckets. you may need to degrease your specimen, or you can move straight to whitening.

-how do you know if you need to degrease? fatty substances in the flesh can be present in the bone, as grease. this will discolor certain parts of the bone (or rarely, all of it) and make those areas look yellowed and sort of oily. if it's just a spot or two and the discoloration doesn't bother you, you don't have to remove it. but if it's a substantial amount it's gonna make the bone look dirty, and in high amounts can also stink. not a rot stink, it's not nearly that bad, but a sort of musty smell.

-grease in the bone is most common in especially fatty animals. anything domestic is likely to have grease, as are very fatty animals like raccoons (raccoons have SO much fat. i skinned one once and its like, ridiculously big layer of fat under their skin.). ive personally had grease problems with coyotes and felines.

-to degrease, you need that container again, and some dish soap! preferably the clear stuff, you don't want to end up staining the specimen. put your specimen in the container and fill it up with water so its covered, and pour some dish soap in there. swish it round so its all mixed in, and put the container back in the warm spot. this process is also heat dependent!

-now you wait again. every two or so weeks, check, and maybe change out the water and soap. your judgement as to when its done. basically you just want those greasy spots gone when the specimens dry!

-next up is WHITENING! this is where you START if you have an already fleshless specimen! all you need for this one is hydrogen peroxide, the 3% stuff you can get cheap at any drug or grocery store. ive found that due to pandemic reasons the peroxide supply at a lot of places has been depleted, but it's mmmostly better by now. you still might have some trouble finding it.

-put your specimen in the container and fill with peroxide enough to cover it. it'll probably start fizzing! the peroxide reacts with organic bits like microscopic amounts of grease in the bone and like, cleans it out. leave it in for a few days to a week, then check.

-if it's still too yellow for your tastes, change out the peroxide and leave it in for another few days. (note, the bone will be more yellow when it's wet- it gets whiter as it dries) if it's white to your liking, take it out, and leave it on a paper towel to dry.

-once dry, you can glue your teeth back in. i use hot glue most of the time, because its very forgiving and easy to undo, but note that if you ever plan on putting the specimen into water again like to degrease it in the future, you might wanna use something like superglue instead. just be...very cautious of mistakes. once i put in my otter's canine tooth backwards. like, tip in the socket, root facing outwards. always do a test fit right before you put the glue on, so you know youve got the angle right so you can put it in right, before the glue dries. also, you only need a TINY bit of glue per tooth.

plus bird feet, depending on how fatty/fleshy they are, can also be dried by posing them and burying them in borax for a while! i do that to preserve chicken feet without skeletonizing them.

i would also ask them to make sure that their collection of this bird is legal- im pretty sure in places where the migratory bird treaty act applies (usa, canada, mexico, japan, and russia) eiders are protected, and as such owning their parts is illegal and can carry a very hefty fine. should be fine in europe, though, to my knowledge. eiders have a huuuge range :P

[arplis]

Arplis - News: 11 genius ways to make your tiny bathroom feel bigger

— Recommendations are independently chosen by Revieweds editors. Purchases you make through our links may earn us a commission.

I freely admit Im a maximalist when it comes to home decor. My room is a mish-mash of colorful prints, books, knick-knacks, tarot cards, wall hangings, and plants, and thats exactly how I like it.

However, this mentality means that space is hard to come by, especially in a tiny apartment. Keeping communal spaces clutter-free yet stylish is a huge hurdle weve all had to cross at some point, and in the case of my apartment, the bathroom was an immediate point of conflictor at least some side-eye between roommates. The point stands: Keeping a small bathroom free of junk and still looking cute is a hard task.

It is possible, though, I promise. The following items and ideas will not only allow you to inject some style into your small bathroom, but also keep things clean and functional.

1. Buy a new showerheadright now

Credit: Amazon

A new showerhead can turn your bathroom from drab to fab.

This has been a game-changer in every apartment Ive ever lived in. Theres nothing gloomier than poor water pressure, especially if your bathroom is already old and dreary. Replacing the showerhead with a shiny new number will deliver better water pressure and upgrade your bathroom in a big way, and it can go a long way toward making a small bathroom seem more luxurious.

This particular showerhead is my favorite. It has 24 different functions and easy-to-change settings, and it offers an extremely luxe shower experience at a low price. You can also check out our post on the best showerheads if you need more options.

Get the Hydroluxe Handheld Showerhead & Rain Shower Combo from Amazon for $24.99

2. Invest in shelving to manage clutter

Credit: Wayfair

Over-the-toilet units provide a lot more storage space.

I didn't love the idea of over-the-toilet shelving until we got it in my apartment, and now Im a convert. The bathroom feels much more functional and personalized, as the shelving lets us to display storage baskets and tiny plants without losing any space.

This shelving unit is perfect for your over-the-toilet needs, and its neutral design will work nicely with any other accents you already have. It's easy to assemble and stands free from the wall, so you won't run into any issues if you have lease restrictions. Reviewers love how sturdy the shelf is and how much storage space it offers in an otherwise unused area.

Get the Eckles Over-the-Toilet Storage from Wayfair for $135.99

3. Get some baskets for those new shelves

Credit: Wayfair

Baskets can help organize all your bathroom essentials.

Dont stop at the shelvingorganize! Investing in storage baskets will increase the storage space in your bathroom, and it will also allow you to stay organized, preventing future clutter.

As a maximalist, I love the look of "stuff" in a room, so these wire storage baskets were the move. They come in three metallic shades and two sizes, and all the choices are understated enough to work well with anything else you have going on in your bathroom. They also have the added bonus of being lightweight, making them easy to move around and reorganize if needed.

Get the Scoop Metal/Wire Basket from Wayfair for $11.39

4. Update your bathroom rug

Credit: Reviewed.com / Kori Perten

A stylish bath mat can brighten up your space.

Bathroom decor can go a long way toward livening up a space and making it feel larger. If your floor is darker, a pale gray or blue rug can help open up the space and tie the room together. If the floor is light, darker shades can create a focal point for the rest of the room.

This bath mat was our favorite during testing. It's available in 20 colors and ultra-absorbent, and overall, it's a high-functioning piece that will stand the test of time. It also comes in three sizes, so you can meet the exact specifications of your small space.

Get the Gorilla Grip Original Luxury Chenille Bathroom Mat from Amazon for $15.99

5. Invest in new lighting

Credit: Legrand Adorne

These modular lighting tracks can transform small, dark spaces.

The Phantom of the Opera proved that everything is clearer with a little illumination, and the same is true in small bathrooms. Lighting matters, especially if multiple people are trying to get ready in there at once.

These under-the-cabinet lights from Lumens will not only add a touch of luxury to your space, but theyll also open up the room, giving you a bit more clarity when youre rushing to do your makeup before work. This lighting option is just small enough to sit beneath your vanity, mirror, or cabinet, and reviewers liked the easy installation and streamlined look of this product.

Get the Legrand Adorne 18-Inch Modular Track from Lumens for $86.98

6. Switch out your mirror for a more modern style

Credit: Wayfair

A bigger, more modern mirror will create the illusion of more space.

Weve all grudgingly accepted an apartment mirror with cracked edges and weird dimensions at some point in our lives, but you dont have to live like that any longer. A larger mirror will create the illusion of increased space in your bathroom and is ultimately a functional addition, as well.

This mirror from Wayfair is contemporary and chic, and it comes with reinforced hooks for easy installation. There are two finishes availablegold and blackand reviewers love that there are multiple size options, too.

Get the Lafon Modern & Contemporary Wall Mounted Mirror from Wayfair for $98.99

7. Organize the space under the sink

Credit: Amazon

Tame the mess under your sink with these stacking baskets.

I live with two guys and one other woman, so creating separate, individual space in the bathroom is important not only for our sanity but also to avoid losing your hairbrush to the abyss of cleaning supplies and deodorant. Under-the-sink storage bins have been incredibly helpful for creating personal space in our small bathroom, and they've ultimately kept the room cleaner, as well.

These two-tier storage baskets sit on top of one another, and they're available in a variety of colors. The baskets can be removed from the racks, making for easy cleaning and reorganizing. In our bathroom, we stacked two similar models under the sink with plenty of room leftover.

Get the Mind Reader 2-Tier Metal Mesh Storage Baskets from Amazon for $19.99

8. Hang a shower caddy

Credit: Target

A shower caddy will provide extra space for soap, shampoo, and more.

Am I the only one who can't get near the bathtub without knocking something over? You can avoid the problem of cluttered bath products on the edges of the tub by investing in a shower caddy.

This stainless steel caddy hangs over your showerhead or can be mounted to the wall. It boasts two wide shelves, as well as several hooks and a smaller shelf for bar soap. Plus, you can prevent it from swinging using the suction cups at the back. Just like that, you have a storage solution that everyone in the apartment can agree onassuming all parties can agree on which shelf they want.

Get the Made by Design Bathroom Shower Caddy from Target for $16

9. De-steam the room with a powerful exhaust fan

Credit: Amazon

Clear steam out of the bathroom faster with a new fan.

Small bathrooms fill with steam quickly, and no one likes standing in a hot cloud upon exiting the shower, especially in the warmer months. This exhaust fan will efficiently remove steam from your small bathroom, making the space more functional since your roommates wont have to wait for the fog to clear to get ready for work. Reviewers enjoy how quiet this fan is, and many say it was easy to install in their homes.

Get the Delta BreezeSlim Exhaust Bath Fan from Amazon for $36.99

10. Hang towels behind the door

Credit: Amazon

The staggered hooks provide room for all your towels.

Hiding your bulky towels behind the door will help give the illusion of space in your bathroom, while helping the linens dry out. This over-the-door towel rack has staggered hooks to allow for even more storage space, and it comes in both chrome and bronze to match your existing fixtures. The rack also comes in two sizes, so make sure to measure your door before purchasing.

Get the Lynk Over Door 9 Hook Rack from Amazon for $14.97

11. Throw out your old shower liner

Credit: M-design

A clean shower liner will make your bathroom much more welcoming.

If your shower liner is old, discolored, and maybe even a little moldy, chances are you avoid touching it at all costs. If this sounds like your life, it's time for a new liner. This inexpensive shower liner will keep your space free of mold and mildew, allowing you to wash off without shrinking back against the wall in horror every time you turn around.

Get the M-Design 2-Pack Waterproof, Heavy-Duty PEVA Curtain Liner from Amazon for $9.99

The product experts at Reviewed have all your shopping needs covered. Follow Reviewed on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram for the latest deals, reviews, and more.

Prices are accurate at the time this article was published, but may change over time.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/11-genius-ways-to-make-your-tiny-bathroom-feel-bigger

[dongyoungkims]

stargazing with doyoung 💘

“Remember this moment, I will always stay by your side”

lmao this is literally the first scenario ive ever written -- im honestly not much of a writer i just thought it’d be fun since i love reading doyoung scenarios! hehe i wanted it to be lots of fluff but i couldnt really think of stuff to say but anyways,,,, enjoy my dudes! (also lyrics are from crush’s summer love!)

You had a long and stressful day. At this point, all you wanted to do was crawl and collapse on your bed. Right when you finished changing into your cozy pajamas, your phone lit up and you saw that you were getting a call from “the loml 💘” 

“Hi,” you tried to answer excitedly, but you couldn’t hide the tiredness from your voice, “what are you up to?” you asked.

“Nothing much,” Doyoung replied, “did you have a long day at work today?” he asked in a slightly concerned voice. Doyoung was always quick to tell how you were feeling based on just your tone of voice.

“Just a long day at work,” you sighed, “How was practice? Did you eat already?” 

“We just finished our meal, and practice was so funny today. Taeyong borrowed a hoverboard from the Dream kids and he was so terrified of falling,” he told you while trying to hold back his laughter, “I wish I got it on camera, but he didn’t understand how to move forward so he ended up spinning in circles a million times while screaming “Stop this please!!!! Someone save me!”” Doyoung laughed. 

You chuckled along with Doyoung. You always commended Doyoung for being a thoughtful boyfriend. You understood that he always tried his best to make you laugh. You always enjoyed hearing about the members, and this story is a new addition to the many embarrassing stories that come from the practice room.

After chatting and laughing about what happened with Taeyong, Doyoung could still sense the tiredness coming from your voice and wanted to help cheer you up more.

“Hey, since I’m finished with practice now, do you want to go on a little drive?” Doyoung asked. 

You were tired and already lying down in bed, but you felt like you were in desperate need of some fresh air. 

“Sure,” you agreed, “let’s go.”

You didn’t bother changing out of your pajamas. You chose comfort over looking cute plus you figured that you’ll be sleeping in his car so before leaving, you grabbed a few blankets to help keep you and Doyoung warm. 

Fifteen minutes later, Doyoung drove up to the front of your apartment. You hopped into the passenger seat and shot Doyoung a small smile. You wished that you could express more emotions, but you were so drained at this point. Doyoung gave you one of his classic, wide, gummy smiles and you couldn’t help but feel warm inside because just being in his presence gave you energy. 

“Where should we go tonight?” Doyoung asked. 

“Anywhere,” you replied while staring up at the handful of sparkling stars in the sky, “anywhere far away from the city lights.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Doyoung smiled as he played a playlist which consisted of R&B tracks which were always perfect for your late night drives. 

For the first few minutes, you both sat without saying a word, letting the music fill the car. 

Remember this moment I will always stay by your side No matter what I’ll always be with you Fallin in love again

Doyoung noticed you looking up at the sky, and rolled down the windows to let the cool, summer breeze flow into the car. You crossed your arms and rested them on the window. You positioned yourself so your head rested on your arms and a part of your head was out the window. Letting the wind ruffle your hair, you closed your eyes and breathed in the refreshing air. 

Doyoung looked over to his side mirror and was in awe of your reflection. Doyoung was always a fan of looking at you while you were preoccupied with other things. He loved seeing you from across the room and seeing how your radiant smile can light up a room. He’s not much of a sap though so he always pretends to be looking at something else when you turn his way so you can’t see how much his eyes gleam when staring at you. 

You were intently focused on letting the breeze ease your fatigue, and you began to come back to reality when you heard Doyoung quietly singing along to the lyrics. You couldn’t help but smile when you heard his voice. You loved hearing his voice. Just listening to him talk, sing, or hum made you feel better. 

“So, where are we going?” you finally asked. 

“Just a place I know away from the city,” he answered. “At the place we’re going to, you’re going to see what I see when I look at you.”

You were confused but decided not to question him. You held onto his hand and intertwined your fingers with his. You closed your eyes once again and relaxed while listening to the music. 

You didn’t realize that you dozed off, and you woke up to see Doyoung looking over you while humming to the music and playing with your hair. 

“Sorry, how long was I asleep?” You asked in a slightly groggy voice.

“For about an hour, but no worries, we arrived at our destination!” Doyoung exclaimed excitedly. 

You looked around, but there was nothing around you. It was empty, and the night felt darker than usual.

“Where are we?” you questioned in a confused tone. 

“In the middle of nowhere, but look up at the sky.”

Doyoung had opened up the sunroof of his car, and in front of your eyes was a plethora of stars. 

“Wow,” you whispered silently to yourself in awe. 

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” you responded, still gazing wide-eyed at the view.

Doyoung looked over at you lovingly, and smiled to himself when he saw the pure joy and happiness that radiated from your face. 

“I’m glad,” Doyoung said in a relieved voice. 

He helped you pull down your seat so you were both laying down staring up at the stars. 

After you both enjoyed the view in silence for a few minutes, Doyoung rolled over onto his side so he was facing you. 

“Hey y/n, I know these stars are beautiful, but do you know what’s more beautiful?” he asked.

“Um, me?” you responded teasingly. 

“No, me,” he chuckled before showing off his smile. 

You rolled your eyes and said, “Yeah, okay” in a sarcastic tone before turning over onto your side to face Doyoung. 

You stared at Doyoung lovingly and smiled at him. “Thank you,” you whispered. 

“You’re welcome,” Doyoung whispered back before leaning forward and lightly pecking your forehead. Doyoung grabbed your hand and began to play with your fingers. He opened up your hand and began to repeatedly trace outlines of stars on your palm with his finger. It made your hand tingle because it was ticklish, but you thought it was cute so you didn’t pull your hand away. 

“So, what did you mean earlier?” you asked as you tried to recall the conversation from before. “Something about seeing something?” you said in a confused tone. 

“Yeah, I said we were going to a place to see what I see when I look at you. When I said that, I was talking about these stars. I wish we could see them better in the city, but that’s almost impossible considering the pollution and the city lights,” he explained. “Whenever I look up at these stars, I can see you in them. I don’t mean that I can physically see you in them, but I see you as this bright, shining figure in my life. It’s like each one of these stars represent one thing I love about you.”

You looked over in amazement as Doyoung continued, “There’s basically an infinite amount of stars in the sky, and everyday I find more reasons to love you. Some days, there are stars that shine brighter than the others and those represent what I love the most about you that day. It’s constantly changing and there are always new stars appearing. You always manage to make my day brighter.” 

You could feel yourself begin to blush because Doyoung was never so forward when it came to expressing his thoughts, especially about you. 

“These stars--,” Doyoung began to say before being interrupted by a peck on his cheek. Though it was dark outside, you could see his cheeks flush pink as he smiled and shyly put his hand to his cheek. You both smiled and grabbed each other’s hand and turned to face the night view once again.

“The stars are so beautiful,” Doyoung said. “Imagine if we saw a shooting star right now, what would you wish for?” he questioned. 

“But if I told you, my wish wouldn’t come true!” you proclaimed.

“I’m just speaking hypothetically! I’m just curious about what you’d wish for,” Doyoung said as he pouted. 

“If I’m going to be honest, I’m pretty happy with what I have in my life right now. I never expected that I’d be an assistant manager at the company I work at. I have friends and family that love and support me unconditionally. And most importantly, I have --”

“Me?” Doyoung interrupted.

“No, Ddongie,” you teased. Ddongie is the name of the pet bunny that Doyoung got you for your birthday. He told you that Ddongie would look over you whenever he was away. 

Doyoung crossed his arms and rolled over so his back was facing you. “Hmph!” 

“I’m kidding,” you said as you poked his back. “Of course, you’re the most important one in my life.” 

You pulled yourself closer towards Doyoung and hugged him from behind. You snuggled your face into his back and rubbed your face into his soft shirt. 

“You really do mean a lot to me,” you started, “I’m grateful for moments like this. Even if we’ve been dating for years now, you still make my heart do back flips every time I see you. I love seeing you smile on stage. I love seeing you happy doing what you love. I love how you make me feel like a better person.” 

Doyoung’s wide smile returned and he turned over to face you. He pulled you closer in his arms and joked, “I didn’t realize you were so in love with me, I guess I just have that effect on the ladies.”

You cringed and tried to escape his grip, but that caused him to hold onto you even tighter. Doyoung peppered your face with little kisses making sure to not leave any part of your face unkissed. 

“But hmm,” you began as you thought back to the question about shooting stars. “If I were to have one wish, I just want to remain this happy forever. I don’t mean this in a “I don’t want to ever be sad” kind of way, I just don’t remember a time when I felt so content with my life. You brought me so much happiness and I don’t ever want to lose you...” you whispered before choking up a bit. 

“Don’t worry,” he said before beginning to sing, “Remember this moment, I will always be by your side. No matter what I’ll always be with you, fallin’ in love again.”

“Thank you for all of this,” you said gratefully once again.

“Anything for you,” Doyoung said shyly before giving you one more kiss on your lips. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘

[kookingtae]

You have to make a huge post and tell us all the dreams I wanna hear 👀

omg so ive been putting this off for forever bc iTS SO MUCH but i think ive finally got enough time to sit down and type it all out (this is really long so if you want to read some of them, theyre below the ‘keep reading’)

the very first dream i ever had about bts was about jungkook big shocker there except it was long long ago in a galaxy far far away when i biased tae! it was me and jungkook making out on my bed, like full on making out with tongue and teeth and heavy breathing and everything (fUCK im getting flustered just thinking about it) and then all of a sudden he sat up and whipped his dick out! it was vivid af too so when i woke up i felt like i had really seen his dick. then he got back on top of me and we were about to fuck but mY FUCKING MOM WALKED IN!!!!!!!!!!! SHE COCK BLOCKED EVEN IN MY DREAMS WTF i was so mad at her when i woke up

my second dream (i pretty sure it happened while i was still biasing tae as well) took place in this olden day village on a cobblestone street, i dont remember the story behind it but all i remember is jungkook whipped out his dick aGAIN AND THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING HUGE!!!!!! like abnormally long LMAO i was like O.O and he just kept on stroking it and jacking off and i was like jUNGKOOK WE’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD and then i woke up 😂

after that i lost track of the order they happened but i’ll just list them out (btw i know ive had more than this but these are just the ones that are most memorable)

one of the ones that had the biggest impact on me happened the christmas of 2015, and still remember it so clearly bc it was the dream that made yoongi wreck my bias list for the very first time. before then he had been like 4th? 5th? but this made him move all the way up to 2nd O.O

it started out as he and i were dating and i had just finished listening to a song he released where he SANG INSTEAD OF RAPPED!!!! AND IT WAS ABOUT ME. it was such a big deal bc that had never happened before and i was literally crying???? after i listened to it i was super emo and just wanted to see him and love on him and tell him how lucky i was to have him in my life. but when he called to say that he was outside my house to pick me up, i went out there all happy and excited and opened the passengers side door to see hoseok -_- i was annoyed to say the least. here i was on the verge of tears and wanting to spend time with him, and he brought a car full of ppl to accompany us on our date.

i proceeded to squeeze in the small backseat next to an already squished jin, namjoon and jimin. and to make things worse, yoongi was basically ignoring me the entire time to goof off with his friends. i hadnt even gotten a chance to tell him i’d listened to the song he’d just released bc he wouldnt give me the time of day. plus, the topic was too emotional to bring up around his friends. so as we went out to eat and squeezed into that tiny ass booth, yOONGI NOT EVEN SITTING NEXT TO ME, i got the bright idea to make him jealous. maybe then he’d finally notice me.

i did some subtle things at dinner, but nothing too serious until we got back to yoongi’s bedroom and everyone started drinking. i wasnt drunk, but jimin was so he was an easy target for my scheme. at one point he and i were laying down on yoongi’s bed, my back against him and curled into his embrace with his arm slung over my waist and lips lightly pressed to my neck. thats when yoongi saw us and snapped. he kicked everyone out, “that means you, dongsaeng. get your hands off of jordan” he even hissed at jimin and gritted his teeth. “ok, jeez,” jimin had said defensively, to which yoongi replied “thats hyung to you.” needless to say, he was pissed.

once jimin got off of me and i started to get up, yoongi turned to me and said “not you” in a less angry but just as stern voice. i remember being filled with rage, like “oh, so now you notice me?!” yoongi acted confused at first, but once he realized what i was talking about his expression softened and he seemed to feel bad. he silently pulled me into a hug and we laid down on his bed, both sad and feeling guilty at the turn of events. then the dream ended with us both cuddling in his bed, his cheeks between my hands and my waist in his arms, where i told him i’d listened to his song about me and we were both crying and saying how much we love each other and kissing sweetly.

after that, i had aNOTHER yoongi dream in the same night where i had the job of cleaning a dormitory that yoongi lived in. so he was basically my boss, but not really bc he wasnt the one who signed my checks. i still had to respect him tho. the thing was, i didnt speak korean very well (yes, it was a language barrier dream!!) and so he had to teach me some of the words and customs of their culture. a lot of the things i was doing were considered rude, so we didnt like each other at first bc he thought i was bratty and i thought he was an asshole. we fought all the time, eSPECIALLY after he made me call him oppa. i didnt want to show him that kind of respect.

but after a while we ended up bonding the more time we spent together (i was there everyday doing housework after all) and i developed a crush on him. it was unspoken but both of us liked each other, and at one point i confronted our feelings bc it was getting frustrating always having to walk on eggshells around each other and pretend like there was nothing between us. i wanted to be together, and yoongi did too, but then he told me that we couldnt bc he was in bts (which hadnt been brought up the entire dream until now lmao) so basically, it had a sad ending :”)

needless to say, after i woke up that christmas morning i was fucked up.

another one of my favorites was one with tae that i actually wanted to write a fic about when it happened!

i worked at this prestigious company of some sort, and i was in my high-rise building office and had a perfect view of my car in the parking lot below. at one point i was looking out the window and saw tae (who i didnt know at the time) in this black leather jacket breaking into the cars one by one and stealing all the belongings. he was going thru them in order and getting closer to my car, so i panicked and quickly ran down there to stop him.

i reached him rIGHT when he was rummaging thru mine, and i forget the exact dialogue but i remember bickering with him and we were both assholes to each other bc i was mad he was stealing my shit and he was annoyed that i had interrupted him. he told me he was taking everything to a pawn shop, and i managed to talk him out of cashing in all my stuff except for one ring that a family member had given me. he seemed shocked to see that i had it and told me that he had to take it to his boss right away. i was all liKE HELL YOU ARE so i jumped in his old beat up pickup truck with him and rode with him to go turn in it.

it was a long drive and along the way we started talking and figured out there was some sexual tension there beneath all that hatred and next thing i know, im practically on his lap while hes driving sucking a hickey into his neck. and then fucked in his car O.O needless to say, we hit it off.

he ended up parking at the pawn shop where he planned on cashing in all the other items, and for some reason there was a photo booth outdoors in the middle of parking lot on a median???? regardless we went inside of it and tae wanted to fuck. i was super reluctant about it bc i was like tAE ITS OUTSIDE SOMEONE COULD SEE OR HEAR US and he was like “so? live on the wild side a little” like the bAD BOY HE IS (my weakness is bad boy tae ok) and then we ending up fucking in the outdoor photo booth and i woke up!

another one was where i was on this pirate ship trapped as prisoner trying to escape, and i got the help of jin who i think was one of the pirates or something?? idk but i was super skeptical to trust him at first but then we started making out (it escalated really quickly lol) and i remember the feeling of his lips were sO PLUSH. after that im pretty sure i trusted him and he treated me like his girlfriend that he cared about and would keep on kissing me and eventually helped me escape!!

i planned on telling a lot more dreams than this but i dont have as much time as i thought lol :/ most of them are about jungkook tho, and ive had more soft, fluffy dreams about him than i can count on all my fingers and toes. language barrier ones, shy!jungkook ones, boyfriend ones - you name it, ive dreamt it.

my most recent one took place at a water park, and all of bts and my friend and i went on a day trip there. jungkook and i ended up breaking away from the rest of the group and were just being cute and doing our own thing. we would float in the wave pool a lot with my legs wound around his waist and my arms around his neck, and his arms around my lower back holding me against him, and we would kiss and laugh and do a bunch of cute relationship things 😭😭😭 IM GETTING EMO JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

but the majority of my dreams have been romance-based and made me curl up into a ball of sorrow when i woke up bc i know they’ll never be real :”)

[breeeliss]

[Femslash February]: Asleep

lol that it’s only day 2 and im already late with this >.>

Day 2: Asleep (Chlonette)

Words: 2133

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

[Previous: Snow] [Next: Rescue]

The first time Chloe stayed after school to study in the library, she found Marinette sleeping over her books at a study table near the windows. 

Lycée turned out to be a lot harder than Chloe had thought, and trying to keep up with all of her homework without getting frustrated and forgoing it completely was almost impossible. It led to her bringing in half-finished homework assignments or not bringing in any assignments at all since it happened that Sabrina wasn’t in any of her classes this year. Her teachers packed her up with review sheets and extra homework every single day, and she had to use the hour study sessions at the end of every day to finish up all her work before she went home. It was absolutely deplorable stuff, but even her father was putting his foot down about it, which meant she really had no choice this time around. 

She was dragging her feet to the library and looking for a seat when she found Marinette at a study table all by herself. 

Chloe raised a brow. She didn’t really see Marinette much anymore. They were on completely different bac tracks and they were in completely different classes for any subjects they did share. She did occasionally see Marinette in the halls as they walked to their respective classes, but putting in the energy to mess with her was a lot harder now. It wasn’t the same now that they barely saw each other. 

But, apparently Marinette also stayed for the study blocks after school. And apparently she wasn’t faring too well. 

Chloe put her books on a chair two down from where Marinette was sitting. She was passed out on top of her tablet, and her right hand was still clutching the pen she was using to mark up the book they must have been reading for her French Literature class. Chloe reached over to check the page they were on and realized that Marinette was almost as far behind in the book as Chloe was. 

Huh. And she always thought that Marinette was a studious little thing. 

If Marinette was here, it was probably because she needed to be, and Chloe had far too much studying to get done to even bother with being petty. She poked Marinette in the forehead until she jerked up in her chair and rubbed at the cheek that was pressed against her tablet. She turned her head and groggily blinked up at Chloe. “What are you doing here?”

“Same as you probably,” Chloe replied. She shoved Marinette’s book closer to her. “Come on. I don’t need your snoring distracting me.” 

Marinette glared weakly, but other than that she didn’t really rise to the flimsy bait Chloe set up. They both buckled down to work for about an hour, and Chloe left only a couple of minutes after Marinette did. It was the longest they’d ever been in such close proximity to each other without causing a fight. Maybe her father was right and lycée really did make young ladies out of little girls. That or fighting with Marinette really did get old after a while. Especially when school work wasn’t a joke anymore. 

Chloe was having lunch with Sabrina the next day and told her that she saw Dupain-Cheng for the first time since classes started. 

“During the study block?” Sabrina asked. 

“Yeah. Working on Literature homework or whatever. Aren’t you in that class with her?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think it was that bad.”

Chloe frowned. “Didn’t think what was that bad?”

Sabrina shrugged. “I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but she misses a lot of classes. Comes in late a lot. Falls asleep during lessons. Hands in things late or doesn’t hand them in at all. She looks exhausted most of the time, so I guess she’s been falling behind.”

They dropped the subject -- Chloe didn’t want to appear too interested -- but she sort of remembered Adrien telling her something about him having a hard time keeping up with his class schedule. He was always missing classes and coming in late and forgetting assignments too. But Adrien had tutors that filled in the gaps pretty well, so it didn’t seem as if his work or his grades were suffering too much. Plus he had a far better attention span and work ethic than Chloe did, bless his heart. 

But Marinette didn’t have tutors to catch her up. She was probably using the study blocks to catch up on extra and missed assignments too, and even then she couldn’t stay awake. 

They saw each other but did not speak to each other after school for that entire week as they struggled to catch up, and Chloe couldn’t help but feel a little bad for her. Chloe was behind because she couldn’t be bothered to do work half the time. Marinette look like she was sprinting to catch up and falling behind every day. She wondered why on Earth that was, but they weren’t nearly close enough for Chloe to just ask. 

One day, after three akuma attacks that interrupted the flow of the entire day, Chloe found Marinette passed out on the tables again, this time over her writing homework. 

She was starting to suspect that she was a narcoleptic or something. Didn’t she sleep at night like everyone else? What did she do with all the time she wasn’t at school? 

Chloe peeked over at Marinette’s work again, and recognized the assignment as one Sabrina had been working on close to a week ago. She sighed and cursed at herself, doing a quick calculation of how much she was going to regret this. 

She smacked Marinette in the arm and jostled her a couple of times before Marinette woke up again. Marinette looked like she was going to say something, but Chloe promptly cut her off and said, “Come.”

“What?” Marinette blinked. 

“Darling, you’re a week behind on your work, and you’re practically drooling on what little you do have written down. So come on before I change my mind.”

Marinette hesitated in her seat for a moment, so Chloe merely shrugged and headed for the exit to the library. She was rounding the corner when she heard a chair scrape and Marinette running to catch up with her. “Where are we going?”

“Coffee. I need it, and god knows you should probably hook an IV of it up to your arm at this point.”

Marinette snorted and Chloe barely caught sight of the dark circles under Marinette’s eyes. “I don’t need coffee, Chloe.”

“You need it like you need a smack in the face. Maybe then you’ll stop sounding so stupid. Hurry up, before they notice we’re gone.”

Chloe bought two cups of the strongest brew they had, only adding enough cream to it to make it drinkable. Marinette looked like she was going to put up a fight about not paying for her own drink, but Chloe held up a hand and silenced her protesting while she handed off her credit card. 

“You should also do something about those bags under your eyes,” Chloe told her as they snuck the coffee back into the library. “Get some concealer. Better yet, have a facial night and get some sleep. You look an absolute fright.”

Marinette didn’t even take any of that as an insult. Instead she nodded along and took a huge gulp of her coffee before she sat back down to work. Chloe bit her lip and opened up her own books. Nope. She wasn’t going to care. Marinette wasn’t her business, and she didn’t like Marinette. This was as far as her kindness would go. 

Of course, during lunch the next day, Sabrina handed Chloe a box from the Dupain-Cheng bakery filled with fruit tarts that had a note affixed to the top. Thanks for the coffee. -Marinette.

She saw Marinette after school that day, wearing some concealer under her eyes, and looking a little fresher faced than she did the day before. She greeted Chloe quietly, and passed her a cup of coffee. “The mask and the makeup was good advice,” she told her. 

Chloe blinked as Marinette dared to offer her a smile before she put her headphones in and started scribbling on her tablet. 

She couldn’t remember the last time Marinette smiled at her without it looking sarcastic or like she was desperately waiting to tell her off. It was....interesting. And different. And probably due to the stress and lack of sleep. Although, Chloe found she didn’t much care what it was or why she did it.

Because a tired Marinette wasn’t a Marinette that Chloe enjoyed seeing. Marinette was always doing something, talking to someone, screaming and being melodramatic over something, and being a star in literally everything. It was abysmally annoying, but it was more troubling to see her not be any of those things. If lycée was going to turn around and throw Chloe for this much of a whirl, she was at the very least going to make sure that the one thorn in her side didn’t go around and change either. 

They settled into a routine of trading off between buying each other coffee every week. Sometimes, Marinette would bring more pastry boxes from home filled with sweets that would keep their attention up, which Chloe heavily appreciated. At first, they were used to just working in silence, but they eventually worked up to the point where Marinette would show her something silly she read in her Literature book or Chloe would complain over the unclear directions her teacher gave while Marinette tried to decode it for her. Sometimes, if Chloe was really feeling nice or hating the sight of Marinette agonizing over an assignment, she’d switch papers with her if it was a subject she was good at. Chloe was a lot quicker with Marinette’s Literature assignments, and Marinette always made quick work of the short paragraphs Chloe had to write for history. It tended to get them out of the library much faster. 

They were three weeks in, and the two of them were, dare Chloe say it, actually civil with each other. 

“Why doesn’t Alya come study with you?” Chloe asked during a short break. “Or anyone else for that matter?”

Marinette shook her head. “She babysits her sisters after school. Plus she helps her mom around the house. She doesn’t have the time, and I’m not going to ask her to sacrifice all that for me. I don’t want anyone to have to suffer through helping me when it’s my fault I’m behind. Besides, you’ll work in a pinch,” she smirked.”

Chloe stuck her tongue out. “Gee, thanks you brat. Why are you always so exhausted all the time? Beauty sleep is a thing, you know.”

“Busy month,” she said vaguely. “Lots going on at home. And other things...”

Marinette wasn’t offering much information, so Chloe didn’t feel the need to be nosy. “Well, at least you’re all caught up now. But, lord, sleep why don’t you. You look like a damn ghost. You’re a pretty girl. You shouldn’t look that exhausted.”

“Thanks I guess,” Marinette said.

“I’m serious,” Chloe said. “Asking for help is a thing. If you’re just going to keep running yourself ragged by keeping to yourself, you’re dumber than I thought.”

It came out coarser than she thought, but Marinette seemed to have picked the sincerity out of it. “I guess you’re right.” She nudged her ankle against Chloe’s. “But if I promise to start asking for help, you have to promise to work on staying focused.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning you’re smart,” Marinette said. “You’re behind because you get bored quickly, not because you’re not smart enough to do this stuff. You just have to find ways to keep you motivated. Keep your attention going. Then you’ll be golden.”

Chloe hummed. “Makes sense....”

“How about this?” Marinette offered. “We’re stuck in these blocks for the next month anyway. You kick my ass and make me sleep and ask for help, and I’ll kick your ass and motivate you to focus on your work.”

“The minute you said “kick your ass” you had me,” Chloe smirked. 

And Marinette actually laughed -- a bright, light-hearted laughter that Chloe didn’t think she’d heard in ages. It sounded foreign and refreshing all at once, and she vaguely realized that she was the one to cause it. 

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Marinette grinned, bringing her coffee cup up for a toast.

Chloe rolled her eyes, but knocked her cup against Marinette’s before taking a huge sip. 

She was sure it wasn’t going to take much effort to get used to this. 

[fluffi]

so should i reply in tiny font or just regular font?

hybe should do better in spreading out the comebacks of the groups under them :/ they're already at a huge advantage, might as well use it strategically. AHA streaming mvs is so convenient for a multi. the filler vids i could use in between could be mvs from the other groups that i stan. also you know what, i still haven't watched a single final performance bc im waiting for a friend to watch with me :D

i have a chinese movie recommendation in case you want something to cry over. i still love its ost and it's been months since i watched it. i'm not sure if you watched it already but more than blue. i've never cried over a movie as much as i cried for that one. the angst *chef's kiss*. i'd do anything to wipe my memory of it and watch it again for the first time.

also sungchan is mc-ing in inkigayo every sunday! and honestly, what the hell is nct hollywood :D but a part of me thinks it's just going to be a bunch of asians living in america like johnny that'll be a part of it. just a hunch tho. imagine having all 4 units coming back in a year with like 1 unit per quarter of the year. i'm not sure if sm even has the money to do this, especially when they filed bankruptcy recently.

and i've seen a lot of twitter memes saying taro's ghosted stans T_T alexa play ghosting by txt T_T sm come on give him smth to do, you're wasting talent.

the mall didn't burn down entirely (like from the outside it looked fine). the ventilation system caught fire so it was more internal—ceilings and all that. covered things with soot(?) and ashes so the entire mall was closed for nearly 2 years. and hey, i've experienced a school fire too back when i was younger. i, too, thought it was nothing but a fire drill until i saw the charred remains of the buildings behind our school : D thankfully, no one died.

the new nct track is for a samsung commercial AHAHA it's funny because nearly everyone uses apple TT_TT and the mv screams neo culture tech tho (well as it should lmao). yes, i was talking about that part in hot sauce but yes, it grew on me too.

ateez really know how to do a performance. they put the standard so high for me when it came to performing. their facial expressions and overall stage presence just impresses me. it's been a while since i've seen idols draw me to them by those standards.

ah, the long stan list! good luck in getting through it and i hope you do have fun as you go :] (also you can check out aurora by ateez and whiplash by tbz. the songs popped up in my head as i was typing this reply, you might like them)

ohhhh, what was the pd48 scandal? i don't watch survival shows so i don't know any of the stuff going on. would you care to elaborate? about their disbandment :(( i hope you're okay now tho! are the other girls still debuting in new groups? anyone eyeing an acting career instead of being an idol?

YES, A PATTERN IN THE BIASES (if you count an analysis of two ppl as a pattern, that is.) because it's the same pattern i have for my biaswreckers :D jake & seungmin, not only do they have the same animal to represent them, they have the same 'golden retriever' type of personality that just makes you go all soft. ygwim ;n; i wish i could elaborate but both boys just devastate me in the same level and my friends pointed out that they were quite similar in some aspects.

jaemin used to send really long bbl messages :< like if there was anything he loved most it was nctzens and it was obv in his messages. speaking of dream, album repackage news today! idk what to feel bc my hot sauce albums haven't even arrived yet :D + i'm dead br0ke.

how do you even manage to read 30k TT__TT i cant handle long fics bc of my attention span :D also, yes, i found the user now, i'll check if i'll like their works soon. <33

YES YOU SHOULDVE BEEN THERE T_T what a day that was. i think seungmin is still sweet and active in bbl. not a single cent goes to waste with him. also i think i'll post the drabble some time this month.

and oml seungmin vs jake :o let's see how that goes O.O XDD

clickity-clackity AHAH do you have a mechanical keyboard? :c i wanted one too but i haven't got around to saving up for one. but yes indeed, typing asmr v relaxing \m/

sunny hyuck day, fullsun sunday, fullsunday T_T feels were very strong that day. i kept seeing edits on my twt tl and i would just s o b : D i've only stanned nct for a year but i've seen him grow so much i just wanted to crie i love him sm :') yk my mom didn't cook spaghetti for my birthday, but she cooked for hyuck's? : D

and i checked ur recs blog and indeed, full of nct T_T

also have i mentioned that your desktop thing amuses me so much HAHAH i got confused for a sec if i had twt opened or tumblr. plus, i've been wanting to mention that i noticed that our mobile themes are opposites. black and red, white and blue. it's cute XDD <3

help, people have been telling me that our asks are long but i highkey love it. i added a ‘keep reading’ for the mobile users though, sorry in advance hh.

honestly, both works. tiny font saves space but regular font does more justice for my poor eyes haha. its your call!

hybe comebacks :( yeah enhypen got lucky because they came back right before cb season so they got three wins (yay)! on the bright side, txt just got their first win and bts has six wins, so it all works out i guess. omg yes, the streaming thing is perfect. i stan like 20 groups so i have a never-ending cycle of filler mvs and its always so helpful. ooh for the final performances - you wont regret watching any of them! literally wild, kingdom's budget and talent are wild.

ooh, I don't watch any cdramas lmao. i want to but i can barely finish kdramas. if its a movie ill watch it! ive never heard of more than blue but ill check it out <3 where can i watch it?

yes yes i have just realized that sungchan is yujin's co-mc! i watched their special stage (which is literally adorable) and was today years old when i realized that the dude is sungchan pls. nct hollywood was so unexpected and i still have mixed feelings about it now. LMAO JUST ASIANS LIVING IN AMERICA...help. that would be interesting (?) but the concept reminds me of those horrendous awesomeness tv shows. lets hope sm pulls this off well and proves me wrong. lmao all 4 units coming back would probably happen, but i hope none of them get overworked :( i constantly feel like mork lee has four clones :'( also...sm filed bankcruptcy??? dang, what happened?

ugh omg yeah shotaros talent is seriously being wasted in the basement right now. as for fires, scary T-T i wasnt that fazed by them until the australia wildfires happened, and i learned about the consequences of fire and got really scared. its good that the entire mall didnt burn down though! although its weird that no one is opening it :( schools really need to tell us the difference between drills though, it might be dangerous for those rebellious kids.

yeah i just realized that the nct track is an endorsement which partly explains why i cant listen to it. the mv's visuals are stunning!! the set and people are so gorgeous aa i cant

oh yeah im not an atiny but i have acknowledged since 2020 that they have one of the best, if not the best stage presence and expressions on stage for 4th gen. i think their only worthy competitor would be stray kids actually. theyre truly one of a kind and all of them are cute especially that yeosang guy. i will definitely check out your song recommendations though!

oof the pd48 scandal is extremely complicated. to condense it in a few statements: all of the girls' rankings have been rigged since the very beginning and it was rumored that they already had their end group before the show even started. it was like this for pf48 and pdx101 (group x1) which was why x1 disbanded within a month of debuting, and izone were on hiatus for like 4 months. im not the best at explaining stuff like this haha, but i think you get it. you can check out yt or search up 'pd48 scandal', a ton of articles and videos. as for new groups, nothing has been made clear yet. theyve only made instagram handles for now and appeared on variety shows haha. as for acting career, hyewon was supposed to do acting but was forced to join pd48 so maybe she'll continue acting afterwards? nothing is confirmed yet!

lmao two similarities, its okay it counts. ah, true, i can see their similarities now that youve mentioned it, as well as how jeno is kind of like that. however, i am currently attached to jaemin so we'll see what happens from there hehe. i swerve easily.

jaemin on bubble grr, that would be a whole experience. from the bare minimum of vidoes ive seen for him wbk jaemin is so whipped for czennies. ah yes repackage! i saw the post on instagram and went to the comments to see everything screaming ‘iM bROke!’ and it was lowkey hilarious lmao. kpop is really trying to suck our money T-T.

ope the longest fic ive read is like...40k words i think? and it was by jeonginks. ill read anything eiko produces lmao, theres always so much substance in her work. ooh, tell me what you think of luvdsc’s stuff, i just finished binging their entire masterlist lmao.

seungmin vs jake yeah, i havent been catching up on skz enha content because im still obsessing over the dreamies but when that saga is over then im going to focus on my ults lmao (which might include dream soon, hehe).

yes yes i have a mechanical bluetooth keyboard that i use to connect to my computer! it literally sounds amazing lmao, its only 10am here but i feel like im going to doze off from the clickity clackitys already. i cant wait for you to get one! tell me when you do, we can match hehe.

hyuck is an aodrable brat please. hes like the best comedian of nct at this point, so hilarious and filled with variety i love him. he rose up my bias list pretty fast too. LMAO YOUR MOM IS SO COOL I LOVE HER ALREADY. if only my mom would cook for my ults’ borndays.

yes my rec blog is a mess right now, ill organize it soon haha.

omg thank you and yes my website theme is one-of-a-kind. even i get confused when i open it or edit it, and i constantly get comments about it. also i just realized our opposing theme colors and i love it! its adorable.

[mylovingbouquetearthquakewo-blog]

all affordable insurance san angelo

"all affordable insurance san angelo

all affordable insurance san angelo

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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all affordable insurance san angelo

all affordable insurance san angelo

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all affordable insurance san angelo

all affordable insurance san angelo

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Company manufactures and wholesales and retails a baby/child gear accessory item. Thank you.

Hit and run + Insurance: Help?

Okay..long story short: I told the insurance company I had B average but I have a C average in Aug. 2009.. They called mid Sept but didnt get in touch and neither left a message on my voicemail. Oct. 9 - I was at a parking lot at night and hit a car; no one was there and the damage was minimal (minor bumper scratch) Oct. 14 (today; after thanksgiving long weekend since I live in Canada its earlier) I have a missed call from my insurance; again no message on my voicemail Now, should I be worried because if they were calling about the hit and run...they would have left a message...also its a home phone line..since I live at home any input would be greatly and thankfully appreciated...""

2nd job: Car porter+car insurance?

I want to get into a second job and the idea of being a car porter has popped into my mind! I was wondering if the company provides the insurance though, or if i have to provide my own. I know that it varies on location and the company if they provide it or not, but i still want to ask the general community for help! thanks for the help!!! :)""

Can I get auto insurance on a car that someone owns and has insurance on?

So I am an 18 year old who lives with his girlfriends Mother. I recently just obtained my Drivers License, but I have one problem. I don't have any Auto Insurance. I do not have a car, but I drive my girlfriends Moms car when I need to. First question. Can I get in trouble without Auto Insurance driving her car with her permission? If not, can I get a different type of insurance under the same car that I pay all on my own? She has State Farm is it helps.""

Car insurance - Apply in person?

Are there anywhere that I can apply for car insurance in person in London?

Penalty points and insurance?

if i take out insurance with no points on my license then a couple of months later get 3 points for a ts50 do i have to contact my insurance company to tell them or not?

all affordable insurance san angelo

all affordable insurance san angelo

I have copd and no insurance.?

I cough almost constantly and always coughing up mucus. Some times its yellow or green, but mostly bubbly clear and has (looks like very small pieces of lung in it.) I'm scared that I am slowly dying. I'm tired all the time. Most of the time all I want to do is lay. My appitite is very poor, I seldom get hungry. I have lost weight and now only weigh 90 pounds. A little over a year ago I weighed 135. Insurance company's turn me down because of preexisting, copd, RH, Hodgekins, I don't know what to do. I can't afford $800 month insurance. I get friends to get prescriptions for albuterol and combivent. I started taking pills (hydrocodone) as they help me so I can breathe normal so I can work. I can get insurance through my new job in 90 days.""

How much will my insurance go up? D=?

There was a misunderstanding and my car skidded against a 2009 Cadillac i unno what and left a mark. It wasnt even my fault but i kinda afraid of the man so... D=

Car insurance price? ?

I am nearly 16 and looking at cars. I was wondering what a ballpark cost would be for me to get a 2000 to 2002 mustang GT. I know the V8 will make it more. I will be 16, a boy, I have a 3.5 GPA.""

Car insurance for the clueless 19 year old :/?

I'm nervous about getting car insurance but I honestly need to get my foot in the door. Now give it to me straight guys, how high can it go if I'm nineteen years old, male, never been in an accident, had my licence since may, plan on getting a 90s car or EARLY 2000, and only plan to use it for really just going to work and such. :/ I feel like its going to skyrocket...just because I have a penis. Man when they told me that I thought about being arrested for being black on a friday afternoon on a wednsday :/ So how low can car insurance get?""

Driving without auto insurance?

what are the concusguences

Can I go on my boyfriends health insurance florida?

I am living with my boyfriend for a year can I go on his health insurance

Why is auto insurance through Geico so cheap?

Why is auto insurance through Geico so cheap?

Whats cheap car to insure and run?

ive been trying to find cheap cars to insure, and it comes up with 2010 models that the car costs 12,000 i want something old cheap reliable for fuel car cost and insurance, i dont really care what year but im guessing the older cars like 1980s will be cheaper""

How much would insurance be for a 2006 Mercedes Benz 230c?

How much would insurance be for a 2006 Mercedes Benz 230c?

Cheapest insurance company for young males with points?

Cheapest insurance company for young males with points?

What is the difference between comprehensive and third party car insurance and which one is more beneficial?

What is the difference between comprehensive and third party car insurance and which one is better. I have a 2005 wagon r lxi and wants to renew the insurance which one should i opt for.?

Is athem blue cross a good insurance?

Is it really a good insurance?

""Does anybody know of the cheapest car insurance company in Hamilton, Ontario?""

Getting car insurance these days is getting ridiculous...I've gotten quotes for $500, etc. but there has to be something cheaper out there. I'm getting an old car, so just basic insurance would be fine, so I can legally drive. Does anybody know of the cheapest car insurance company in Hamilton, Ontario?""

21st Century Car Insurance?

I have a weird question. I'd thought I'd ask you guys first. Here goes: My SUV got broken into. The steering column was damaged. My insurance, 21st century, had a tow truck take it to a shop. It was fixed.......TWO WEEKS LATER! I have full coverage, but my policy doesn't cover rentals. Well anyways my question is: Will my insurance pay for HALF my car payment since it took two weeks for it to get fixed? I know it sounds dumb, but I had to ask. Thanks.""

What are the associated costs of adding different types of coverage to auto insurance?

What are the associated costs of adding different types of coverage to auto insurance?

Drivers license and Insurance?

When you get your drivers license do you have to get insurance with it or do you have to wait until you get a car? Do you have to get insurance when you purchase a car? Also does the cost for insurance decrease when you turn 21? How much is insurance a month generally and in North Carolina? I know insurance is necessary though I just need the facts before buying it.

Best and Cheapest Car On Insurance For a 17 Year Old?

Best and Cheapest Car On Insurance For a 17 Year Old?

Is my insurance company liable?

My insurance company offered me a policy to cover a de restricted scooter which I agreed to take out, but in order for this policy to take effect I had to give up 4 months of cover totalling around 160 and pay a 80 deposit on the new policy. Last week I was sent a letter notifying me that my insurance was cancelled so I called them and was told that I had to return a copy of my CBT certificate. I rang on Sunday and was told a completely different story and that was that the company they placed me with had decided that they were not going to cover me even though the whole point of changing them was because they specificity dealt with my type of vehicle . They have now offered another policy for 515 pounds with is 100 pounds more than my previous and I am not willing to pay this as they lied to me and told me that I was insured to ride around even though they knew that I was not covered. I have copies of the insurance certificate to prove that they sold me the policy and all other relating documents. Please advise on what I can do.""

Why Do I Pay More For Health Insurance Now?

I'm a recent graduate, female, non-smoker with a healthy weight and eating/fitness habits. I'm not rich by any means, but my health insurance rates have gone up a lot since ...show more""

Laddies. Is there any good Health Insurance that is not that expensive?

I know this is a dump question to ask but is there a Health Insurance that is not that expensive out there? I live in Missouri and she is 29 years old. We have 2 kids and live pay check to pay check. We tried Medicaid but they won't cover it unless you don't work or have more kids, and both are out of the question. I don't make a lot of money where I work but it does pay the Bills. I have tried to get a 2nd Job but with my first Job it doesn't always work out. I have to work over time and that doesn't cut it with most Jobs. I am trying to find a good health insurance that I can afford to help pay for her hospital visits. Please help me.""

I fell asleep on the interstate and got into a collision with an 04 BMW w/o insurance.?

I was late on payments and my insurance will not cover. I was at fault and I got a letter in the mail today and the lady said so far the damages are $11k... What should I do?? accident was on 2/27/11 in FL

""How much does a car insurance quote cost?If u get one u wont get emails from them,and stuff in the mail,will u""

How much does a car insurance quote cost?If u get one u wont get emails from them,and stuff in the mail,will u""

New driver - cheapest insurance?

Like thousands of other parents I'm looking for a cheap first car for my 17 year old daughter for when she passes her driving test. We're not in a position to buy her a brand new car, and she's happy to have an older one anyway (she has roughly 2k to spend), but the concern is the insurance! There are plenty of websites with new car insurance groupings, but can anyone please advise me of older small cars which are in the lowest insurance groups.""

What is the cost of the insurance for the car i want ?

I want a Suzuki Ignis 1.5 sport im just about to start driving wants the insurance going to cost ?

Is renter's insurance required for tenants in california?

Is renter's insurance required for tenants in california?

all affordable insurance san angelo

all affordable insurance san angelo

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/electric-moped-insurance-online-quote-alexander-bryant/"

[blogdangerousobjectcollecto-blog]

Car insurance cost for a young driver?

"Car insurance cost for a young driver?

My son is nearly 19 years old and having driving lessons. I am worried about the cost of car insurance for him. I have heard if he goes on my insurance it would be a lot cheaper. I have been driving around 10 years now with a clear licence, so my insurance is quite low at the moment. I was wondering if he were to go on my policy how much extra it would cost me if I were to protect my no claims?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Can Hit and Run increase my insurance rate?

I parked my car on the street and found on the next morning that it was hit. If I report this to the insurance company, will my premium get increased? It wasnt really my fault that somebody hit me. I have a perfect driving records and no accidents in the past 6 years.""

What's the best way for a 19 year old girl to get insurance through the Affordable Care Act?

I had full coverage medicaid(and dental) up until I turned 19, and my wisdom teeth have just recently come in and I have cavities in them because I can't reach them with a brush. I need to get them removed immediately and another beginning cavity filled. I am independent but I only have a part time job and I need to deal with this immediately. What's the best way to get insurnce through the affordable care act? Links & recourses would be appreciated. Thank you.""

Insurance for teenage mustang driver?

Ive made enough money from my jobs. I have enough to buy a newer mustang (definitely not the newest one but over the 2005 brand) with help from my parents and grandparents. They are all throwing in 2000 dollars for me. But anyways, some backround information, I'm a teenage girl, have taken the driving defensive class, drivers ed, and also get higher than a 3.0 grade average. Would insurance be very high still?""

Cheap to insure drift cars?

im 18 and trying to get a drift car. I looked at nissan skyline, however as the cheapest quote i could get was 37,000, i might not be able to get that, as that was without declaring mods. wondering if anyone that knows drift cars that are cheap to insure or how to get cheaper insurance?""

Can 2 insurance policies go on 1 car ?

hello all .. i sold my car today basicly because i couldnt insure the insurance or fuel anymore as my hours have been cut in work . now my question is .. can i insure my mums car which is already insured by her .. reason i ask is if i cancel my current policy i will have to pay the full years worth of the car i had previous which would be 1000 pound , so i was thinking to insure my mums car to keep my insurance going ? is this possible ?""

Do i need insurance to leave my car parked on the street?

Its got tax and mot but if its not being driven, just parked outside do i need insurance for it? A neighbour told me someone else in the street got towed away as there was no insurance on it.""

Im 20 years old. Just wondering when i should buy life insurance?

Im 20 years old. Just wondering when i should buy life insurance. ? I have a bf live at home with my parents. I have a car loan out for 18,000. Have a full time job. Just wondering if its better to purchase when your younger. My bf and I have been together for 6 years.""

Obamacare and still insurance premium skyrocketing?

Now that Obamacare has passed and in place why insurance premiums are still skyrocketing at record numbers? isn't it the main primary reason for (to have)obamacare is to curb the ever increasing cost of health insurance premium??

How much would it cost to be put onto someone else's insurance?

If it is a 17 year old who is going to be put onto one of his parents insurance so he can drive their car, will the amount added on be roughly the same as if he were to have his own insurance or slightly more/slightly less etc? Cheers.""

Will my daughter driving permit have an affect on our insurance rates?

Will my daughter driving permit have an affect on our insurance rates?

Which companies do cheap quad bike insurance for newly passed car drivers?

Bashan 200c 2007 model, any idea how much insurance will be? Im 19 and have car license only.""

Car insurance for 18 year olds?

I'm 18 years old and I'm trying to find out how much it would be for me?

Insurance policy that's actually affordable?

I'm 18 and I have a 2006 mitsubishi GS that I have financed. It's value is around 10,000. All the policies I've checked out are over 300 a month. That's ridiculous, I have great grades and no traffic violations what's the deal!!""

Do you pay car insurance every month or every six months?

Need it for the class I'm in now. Help quick!

My car was involved in a hit and run and am not covered by insurance?

I just got a message from my friend saying that the car that I now own was involved in an accident. Specifically a hit and run. I know for a fact it wasn't me who hit the car and ran. It had to have been my other friend who borrowed my car. The car is not insured. I'm guessing my friend took off at the scene of the crime and came back not telling me about it. I really didn't notice anything wrong with the car until today putting 2 and 2 together with the newish scratch I had on the nose of my 1997 v6 camaro. It looks like he rear ended the other car from the outline of the marks on my car. Thing is he is not in California anymore and moved back to the east coast. I met the guy and became friends for about a month and a half. He knew alot about cars and he said that he would take it down to this one guy he knew how to flush out the radiator. He did that on the 24th of nov. and the claim of the other driver was said to be on the 24th. What do I do? I can't make any contact with my friend who drove the car because I can't locate him. Am I charged with a hit and run or is he? I forgot his last name so I really can't hold him responsible or report him liable The previous owner got the memo about the claim report because it is still in his name kinda. I told him to say he does not own the car any more and give the insurance company my info and I'll see what i can do. Well what should I do? I need some legit legal consulting.

Haggling Car insurance?

I am 20 years old Guy, and my car insurance is up for renewal, i have a Peugeot 306 hdi 2.0 turbo diesel. I have 2 years driving experience, however only have had a car for 1 year. I have had no claims, no tickets, no points on my lisence. Im Fully Comprehensive, live in a good area, have no criminal record, and park my car on the drive. I have my father, a Police Officer with 30 years no claims and 30 years experience as a named driver on my insurance. My Insurance last year was 1400 (steep yeah) and now its up for renewal i have had a quote of 1100. To me, this seems really steep seeing as surely by now i have proved that i am not some boy racer with a deathwish. My question is, do you guys think ill be able to get this price down with alittle haggling, what would you expect to pay for insurance if you where in my situation?""

About car insurance and drive?

Hi, Anyone can tell, if my insurance for on my name third party only and my friend have just new license and he can drive without anything else like insurance!! If he can't. By legally so if he'll catch when he's driving my car so by uk law what punishment /fine For me?? Or. I'm safe!""

Is their any where that can calculate the average price of car insurance without details?

I just want to calculate the average cost for car insurance without the hassle of putting in my personal details being that it will be at least 2months till i get my licence.

Insurance for a 2nd hand two wheeler.?

Recently purchased a second hand 2wheeler. Changed RC to my name already. Regarding insurance, which one is good?? 1) renewing existing with my name or 2) purchase a new insurance. which one is best?? do we have any difference for the above options?? Approximately how much it costs for both options??? Please guide me.""

Nissan 370z Affordable For A New a Driver?

Is a Nissan 370z or even 350z good and affordable for a new driver? Im only 2 years away from getting my G2 and even though it's really early I would like to start thinking about a good affordable car, yeah yeah why am I getting a 350z/370z when Im looking for cheap and affordable? It's because I would like to try and take it to track days at some local tracks and race when I get my G license. Please don't tell me to stop worry about it you're too young blah blah blah stupidity, in some cases it may be true I just don't care, sorry for my rudeness I get the talk way to much and it's really starting to get annoying. If you have a better choice than the 350z or 370z, I'm looking for any RWD car that is easy to pitch into a drift and race it, also available at a dealer or online at a trusted auto sales site, thanks in advance!""

""For pain and suffering money, how much is enough to ask for from your own car ins. company?""

I was in a car accident where the other driver was at fault (under 18 yrs old, no drivers' liscence, no car insurance, failed to yeild). My car was in the shop for 3-4 weeks, I just finished chiropractic care, and my ins. adjuster is going to meet w/ me soon. I have full coverage insurance plus 'uninsured drivers insurance'. So anything my regular car insurance doesn't cover my uninsured insurance pays for anything else. But he also let me know I will be getting 'pain and suffering money. How much should I ask for?!?! I don't even know an estimate of what I should ask for. The worst thing about it is, since the other guy doesn't have insurance, my dealing with my own insurance company. They said after my claim is settled, they will turn around and sue the other driver. I don't want to end up sueing my own car insurance company either. this is my first car accident.""

How much would insurance be on a 1997 dodge ram 2500?

97 ram 2500 ext cab short bed. Just wondering, also how much would insurance be on a 95 mustang gt?""

What's the salary and commission for infinity insurance in California?

Does anyone know?

17 year old looking to buy a car ( what cars are cheap to insure)?

hey as the title says what cars are cheap to insure and tax and so on please say the make as i dont have a clue about what makes of cars and stuff, prefer a 4 door as got a kid so it will be easier getting in and out with the car seat, thanks""

Car insurance cost for a young driver?

My son is nearly 19 years old and having driving lessons. I am worried about the cost of car insurance for him. I have heard if he goes on my insurance it would be a lot cheaper. I have been driving around 10 years now with a clear licence, so my insurance is quite low at the moment. I was wondering if he were to go on my policy how much extra it would cost me if I were to protect my no claims?

What is a private jet's insurance price? and maintenance costs? Averagely.?

For College I have to do a business plan. We are creating a fictive private jet renting company in Colombia but i can't find these informations. It is really important as i is part of our financial statements. Thank you very much.

Car insurance in the uk?

in the uk do you have to pay for car insurance if your car is on the driveway or off road

Do various driving school programs give different types of certificates that affect your insurance?

I am a 20 year old female first time driver living in Colorado, and I'm debating what program to go with for driving school. The completely online one, the half online half classroom, or the full classroom. I want to take which ever one will give me the best insurance rate.""

Adding a new driver to insurance.?

In Ontario, if a new driver was added to insurance on a 03 dodge caravan how much would it be about?""

Does state farm insurance cover rental cars if you car gets stolen?

I do have full coverage on the car that was stolen ,but does rental coverage come standard on full coverage insurance?""

TEENS: Car insurance question!?

Kinda random but here we go. 1 How much do you pay a month for insurance? 2 How old are you? Male or Female? 3 Do you pay for it or do your rents help? thanks!

How do i get my insurance quotes lower for driving?

im 17 and i want to insure a car but every quote i get is allways about 4000 - 10000, is the any way i could get them lower on my quotes? like having another person as a driver and things like that?""

Will my insurance cover someone else's car that has no collision insurance?

Will my collision insurance cover someone else's car that has no collision insurance when I get into an accident while driving that car?

What's the easiest way to get health insurance?

What's the easiest way to get health insurance?

Car insurance is it legal?

would I be able to drive my wifes car that she owns but has no insurance on the car. I have my own car and are fully comprehensive so would I be breaking the law.

Cop Didn't ask for proof of insurance or registration.?

So i got pulled over for going 28 over the speed limit haha..... It was on a highway and the speed limit was 55 i was going 83 ..... Im from florida and my car and license are all registered in florida but im in georgia right now living with a friend trying to attend college (except i cant find a job cause the worlds slowly dieing lol) But anyways so i get pulled over by this state patrol narcotics douche bag who mind you has no teeth to begin with and in my mind either his mom beat his teeth out of his head or hes a recovering crack head who had lost all of his teeth over the years. Either way he pulls me over and says You were going 83 on a 55 , may i see your license I give him my license he goes back in the car and yeh i was thinking he didnt ask for my proof of insurance or registraion. I would think that he would considering im from out of state. **** Im gonna rant on how this narcotics officer frisked me my question will be at the bottom lol***** So yeh he comes back to the car after running my license and tells me to get out of the car..... I was at this point like .... Ok? So i get out go to the back and he says I asked you to get out cause i see your eyes are red I told him ummm it could be the fact that im allergic to dust and pollen and im driving with the windows down, i rub my eyes cause they itch thusly they get irritated. So i said either its that or the fact that i just got no sleep from the night before and drove my friend up to north carolina. And he then proceeded to ask if he could search my car. Im a month from being 20 and never got pulled over before and ofcourse i said yeh w.e. I smoke cigarettes and when he went to go search my car he comes out freaking out. IS THERE ANY DRUGS IN THE CAR OR ALCOHOL i was like no.... and hes like WELL IF I FIND ONE SEED OF MARIJUANA YOUR GETTING LOCKED UP AND CHARGED 1,100$ ... i was like ok go ahead i dont have anything so thusly he didnt find anything cause i didnt have anything . He finds a vitamin water bottle that wasnt even mine it was my friends girlfriends and he smelt it and said there was alcohol in it...... i was tempted to call him a lunatic and a retard but didnt and just said uhh no thats just vitamin water, so he threw it out and then i went on my marry way with a court date and a crazy speed limit infraction lol. ******* heres the question **** Is it mandatory for a cop to ask for proof of insurance and registration or does it even matter? Thanks for reading if you read the whole thing lol Sean""

If a driver is not covered in your insurance and drive your car are they insured?

my daughter is 16 and is getting her first car today. I only listed the car in my insurance, if she gets in a car crash will she be covered? Or what will happen to her and the car?""

How do i get health insurance?

How do I get health insurance for myself? My work doesn't offer health insurance. My husband and all his younger siblings (over 18) are now covered under my mother-in-law's insurance from her work.

Can my father get iterm insurance ?.?

My father's DOB is 2 May 1947. he is retired from Gov job. i want to have a insurance in name of him bcoz i have two sister dependent on him . so can i get or can he get iterm plan for 20 laks for 20 years.

Should Teens Have To Wait Till 18 To Get A Drivers License?

I look at it this way. I almost if not all states, you have to be 18 to enter into a binding contract. So basically that means my son can't borrow $500 from the bank, but can be responsible for a 3,000+ Lbs. of steel on wheels. I just don't see why driving is the exception to the rule. In my state, a person over 70 has to take a written test.. The same given to new drivers, one time before they get a license. So does anyone agree with this? Or if you don't, why?""

If I ask my insurance company to fix my car will my premium increase?

I'm a beginner driver and I have my first car and a new insurance. Today I hit a standing car. My car requires some body work and the other car was not damaged at all. There was no police report filed. I'm 24 and single. I appreciate your help.

Can i get cheaper car insurance with historical license plates?

can i get cheaper car insurance with historical license plates

I am confuse in my shop insurance?

Insurance company says your insurance in under insure so you can not get full claim amount. What can I do?

Best as in cheapest auto insurance company in California.?

I have a perfect driving record, but i'm not currently insured because I'm looking for someone else... Had allstate.. any suggestions?""

How does the whole process of buying a car work for a teenager?

Okay i am 15 years old and i am trying to figure out now.. What i need to do to be ready to buy my own car in the next few years or when i turn 18. I have many questions.. Because i want my parents to help as little as possible because i will be leaving the house once i am 18 and going to a college that they do not want. So i need to know.. What car? How does the insurance work? How much are payments a month? how do you think i could afford them? Should i start saving now? Should i wait til i move back to california til i buy the car or should i buy it in New York and drive back to California? HELP! PLEASE! or email me and we can talk more about it.

Which car insurance company is the cheapest if you have many points?

Which car insurance company is the cheapest if you have many points?

""In california, what auto insurance options are must haves?""

hey i was just checking out the auto insurance rates (i am from california) i know that bodily injury liabilty, property damage liabitiy, and uninsured motorist are must haves in californa... what else?? i was reading the definition of the auto insurance optional coverages and got a little confused, for example: Property Damage Liability - Mandatory Coverage This coverage protects you against financial loss when your vehicle damages another person's property, such as their vehicle, if you are legally liable. vs. Collision - Optional Coverage This coverage provides protection for loss or damage to your vehicle caused by upset or collision with another vehicle or object. It pays the lesser amount of either the actual value of your vehicle or the amount of each loss, in excess of your selected deductible. i was always under the impression that once you have property damage liability and your car got into an accident, it's covered. can someone with some auto insurance experiece explain this for me please? do you think it's good thing to get both? any advices is appreciated thank you""

""Car Insurance: What are premiums, legal fees and voluntary excess?

I have been trying to get car insurance quotes online but I dont understand what the above terms mean Also if my road tax (UK) is not due for renewal till thursday can i buy it today? Will they adjust the date for me. Any help will be appreciated Thank you for your time

Do you have to buy insurance before you get a car?

I would like to buy an used car (from a private owner). But I was told before I do that I must have a license, tag and insurance on the car. But another person told me that its best for me to get the car first and then get the other stuff... I am so confused.. which way is the best way for me to do? please help.""

What car insurance do you like?

I'm an adult and looking for a good car insurance that's pretty affordable for the age group 18-24. I know that's it's more expensive for young adults due to reckless driving. I want esurance but I was looking for opinions on others I haven't thought about yet.

Car insurance cost for a young driver?

My son is nearly 19 years old and having driving lessons. I am worried about the cost of car insurance for him. I have heard if he goes on my insurance it would be a lot cheaper. I have been driving around 10 years now with a clear licence, so my insurance is quite low at the moment. I was wondering if he were to go on my policy how much extra it would cost me if I were to protect my no claims?

What do you need to get car rental insurance if you dont have car insurance?

Ok my husband and i are planing a trip and would like to know what we need as far as car rental insurance he has a clean driving record but we do not own a car hence the rental and there fore dont have car insurance so we dont know were to start or how we even get it. Someone plz help. Oh and he is 26 so we dont have a problem in that department lol.

Health care insurance?

My husband is on SSI and gets a weekly workers comp check? His income is non taxable . We did not qualify through the affordable marketplace for insurance for myself and son and did not qualify in Indiana for CHIPS for our child? We had been perviously purchasing our own private insurance but now I see you can't even do this anymore our current plan runs out in March of 2014 , and all thay offer now is temporary health care plans. Anyone out there finding them-self in this situation? Any advice ? Thanks?""

How much does health insurance cost?

18 year old, no dependents, on my own, no parental support. Tell me the cost of buying it myself.""

Insurance for moving to USA?

Myself and my partner are moving to the USA. We will need travel insurance and some health cover, and although we will both have health insurance with our new jobs, we will need cover for the first month and I am looking to see if I can find a travel insurance policy that provide the cover. Trouble is, the standard travel insurance I have seen so far assume that we will still live in the UK and that we just want cover for a months 'holiday'. One way travel insurance seems to stop 24 hours after we land in the USA Does anyone know of a one way travel insurance that will cover us for the journey and the first months stay""

What would be the insurance on these cars?

What would be the insurance costs for a 16 year old girl for a Nissan Altima 2013 2.5 SV, a 2013 mustang v6 and 2013 honda crv EX? Or what are good websites to price it at?""

How to make car insurance as cheap possible?

i don't even wanna pay it but if i can get a reasonable price i will pay it. its just ridicoulus how much it costs ( i got no spell check by the way)

Someone hit my car parked at work and i do not have insurance. whats the next step?

i was at work and when i came out, someone had hit my car while i was working. they left all their insurance information and a note apologizing, however, i do not have insurance. whats the next step for me?""

""Diamond Car Insurance? gave the cheapest quote, anybody use or used them?""

I am 21 year old female wanting to start my own insurance policy instead of being 2nd driver on my mums car. I have a Toyota Rav4 Sport, which insurance companies are good with younger people please (the car is 8 years old, so not worth a great deal)""

Insurance help please?

got hit from behind by a driver who has insurance, i notified my insurance what happens next ? will my car get repaired by his company or mine ? and how does a deductible work ? Ive never been in an accident so i am clueless on this,,,,,and how do they fix your car ? do they tell you where to go to repair it ? or just give you the money ? and how do you determine how much ? sorry for being uninformed completely !!!! thanks for your knowledge""

Can I receive california unemployment insurance while I am receiving retirement income?

I reeive a relatively small Cal Pers retirement but it is not enough to live on so I continue to work.

Will simply getting an STI test raise insurance rates?

I was wondering if any doctors or insurance professionals know as fact if insurance rates will increase if someone goes to their primary care physician to get an STI screening, even if they test negative for everything.""

How much does a ticket cost for no proof insurance in ca?

I got a ticket for no proof of insurance at the time. But I have insurance. Does anyone know how much the ticket costs. Or what I can do to get it written off??

Anyone please help !!?

im 16 and i want to klnow how much car insurance is going to be. i dont want an exACT FIGURE BUT A ROUND ABOUT PRICE FOR statefarm with all the discounts taken out for being a good stundent and taking the drvers ed my car is already paid off and its a sante fe

Who has the cheapest motorcycle insurance for young people?

im looking for the who has the cheapest motorcycle insurance for young people

How long do I have to report an accident to an insurance company in California?

If I was in an accident in California how long do i have to report it to the insurance company so that they will cover it?

Cavities before getting health insurance?

What are the rules with getting dental insurance. I am willing to pay monthly for it because I really need my teeth fixed. I heard you can't get any teeth fixed you had before the insurance and also you had to have the insurance for a certain amount of time before getting your teeth fixed. Who knows what the rules are about this?

How much is MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE?????

I am 23. I want to get a sports motorcycle. How much will my insurance be?

What is the cheapest individual health insurance plan in California?

I am young and healthy and need a health insurance plan for myself. Essentially, I just need health insurance in case of a freak accident that will land me in a hospital. Any suggestions? The cheapest so far has been $51 a month. I don't care about deductibles or any of that. Just that it has the lowest monthly fee. Thanks!""

I need advice on car insurance?

OK. Heres the history. I have 3 tickets on my record, two for speeding, and one for running a red light. I'm 18 years old and I am male. So i know I'm already ******. But i need to know is it possible for me to get car insurance again? Oh and technically I've had two accidents. And **** everyone who says Im a bad driver because Im not. I was just a dumb 16 and 17 year old. Quite frankly Im a greater driver than probably everyone who answers this. so shutup. REAL answers please. Thanks.""

Why is insurance coverage for a 2011 Mazda 2 cheaper than a 2007 Ford Focus or Hyundai Elantra?

I just got quotes for a new Mazda 2. Full coverage on the Mazda 2 will increase my total premium by $163. Full coverage quote for a 2007 Focus would be $187 increase. Full coverage quote for a Hyundai Elantra would result in a $176 increase. I find this very surprising. I thought used cars were supposed to result in cheaper insurance coverage.

What car insurance do you have?

Im trying to find one that's cheaper I recently have 21st Century. What's the name of your car insurance and do you like it?

How much will driving lessons in an automatic car be?

I live in the UK, and i'm having to learn to drive in an automatic car because i have a disability which affects my concentration How much would it be to take lessons in an automatic car? And is the insurance more expensive? Thanks""

Allstate insurance?

does allstate have medical insurance

Changing car insurance beneficiaries during a divorce?

IS IT TRUE THAT MY SOON-TO-BE EX HUSBAND CAN'T CHANGE OUR CAR INSURANCE POLICY UNTIL OUR DIVORCE IS FINAL??? I NEED HELP WITH THIS... IT SAYS THAT HE CANT MAKE ANY CHANGES TO IT IN THE SUMMONS THAT WAS GIVEN TO HIM BUT I WANT TO KNOW HOW LNG UNTIL HE CAN CHANGE IT BECAUSE HE IS TRYING TO CHANGE IT NOW

Complaint about a car insurance company?

i am so dissatisfied with my previous car insurance company. they just tried everything they can to rip me off. i wonder: 1. where i can go to file a complaint: i will describe how i was mistreated by that insurance company. 2. also, what agency that give a rating to insurance companies? can i contact them to tell them about my story. i think we need to support good insurance companies. for those bad apples, we need to let the public know. thanks""

Car insurance cost for a young driver?

My son is nearly 19 years old and having driving lessons. I am worried about the cost of car insurance for him. I have heard if he goes on my insurance it would be a lot cheaper. I have been driving around 10 years now with a clear licence, so my insurance is quite low at the moment. I was wondering if he were to go on my policy how much extra it would cost me if I were to protect my no claims?

Is insurance required to buy a car?

I live in the state of Washington. I just turned 18 and obtained my driver's license. However, I have been driving for two years now without insurance and license :/ fortunately without any encounters with the law. Anyway, I want to buy my own car now, my first car, so I'm looking for something local on craigslist. My question is, is it required for one to have insurance in the state of Washington in order to buy a car? I've obviously never done this before so if you could explain how this works I would appreciate it. 1.) What exactly do I need to pay for besides the car? (license plates, registration?) and 2.) Do I need to have insurance? (or can I just pay the person for the car, get the paperwork, and it's done, because I can't afford insurance at the moment. Again I've never done this before). Thank you""

Best car insurance for a teen?

Im 16 and will be getting my license soon but have to pay for my own insurance. I would like to know which insurance agency would be cheapest?

Should I get AAA Roadside assistance or Insurance Roadside Assistance?

I drive an 07 Scion and was wondering if I should get AAA Plus or Insurance Roadside assistance. I currently pay $6 a year for Roadside assistance but I have to pay first and then get reimbursed and it only covers $50 each disablement. I was thinking if I should get AAA Plus which covers up to 100 miles for $76 because I know it costs quite a bit just for a hook up fee.

Short Term Car Insurance in California?

I moved from California to Japan about a year ago, and naturally, I canceled my US car insurance. Soon I will be visiting the USA for about 24 days, and I'd like to be able to drive during that time. I've made arrangements to borrow a car from my parents, so that part's fine- my question is, how do I go about getting insured for this temporary period? (In case it matters, I am 28 years old, not financially dependent on my parents and am a worker not a student)""

How will USAA Insurance decide how much my car is worth in an accident?

I'm not a member and was not at fault - the liable party was a USAA client. I had a 1996 VW Passat and am waiting to hear if they are going to total it. If they do, how do they determine worth? How soon will I get the money?""

Will my car insurance price increase with my mother as an additional driver?

Hey guys, My mother has had two accidents in the past, one of which was her fault.""

Insurance companys are evil?

So my dad is a very involved liberal democrat. We both really like obama (for the most part) and we've been invited to some protest down in Washington DC about how insurance companys are evil and need to change the way they do things. Which i'm excited about, i've never been to washington and it sounds fun. But the problem is.. i dont know very much about how insurance even works. I'm only eighteen, i've never had to deal with it before. I know a little, but since i'm young, its mostly just from the daily show. which is a crappy way to base any opinions i have off of. I'm more informed than most 18 year olds, but i'd still like to know more, if i end up going to this thing. So, can anyone explain to me why they're evil and what needs to change? Id ask my dad but he never shuts up once you get him started..""

Why is health care so expensive in the US?

Why is health care so expensive in the US?

Does red light camera ticket affect your insurance rate?

If i got a ticket from red light cam, will that affect my insurance? In the state of Missouri""

Can a 73 year old man get life insurance for $100K? What would the approx premium be if so?

I know it would be expensive-anyone have an idea? Thanks so much!!

Do motorcycles require insurance in georgia?

Do motorcycles require insurance in georgia?

Why do insurance companys treat workers in the motor trade differently to any other? ie higher quotes etc?

because i work in the motor trade im unable to have the part of my insurance that allows me to drive other vehicles (such as family members) that are already insured why is this?

How will the Affordable Care Act impact part-time and full-time employees?

So I get that employees working 30+ hours, and where there are 50+ employees, have to be offered health insurance, lest the company get a fine, but I'm not sure how that will work ...show more""

How do i buy car insurance and how do I find a insurance company that suits me (cheap)?

ok so I've seen a car I would like to buy, how do I get car insurance? should I ring a call or get insured online? Also a list of names of insurance companies would be helpful? thanks""

Insurance.....?

My storage builing was broken into and some of my things were stolen... i have insurance on it and I called the insurance company to report it. I'm waiting for the adjuster to call me back to see what all was taken... what can I expect? Are they gonna have to do alot of research... how long is this gonna take?

Cheapest insurance in Kansas?

Cheapest insurance in Kansas?

Any ideas on how to get cheaper car insurance?

Any ideas on how to get cheaper car insurance?

Can I visit the hospital or doctor without health insurance?

I have been off of by parents health insurance for two years, even though I am a full-time college student, it's just how it was written in their plan. Here is the scoop: Two years ago I injured my knee and got treated for puncture wounds, and had some minor problems with a popping sound here and there over the years. Now, recently, the same knee is in so much pain, I almost cry. It feels like someone is sticking a flat-head screw driver into my knee and hitting it. I checked my symtoms (swollen, severe pain, weakness, loud popping and clicking, instability, pain when walking) on web md and every symptom points to a tore ALC ligament. The charts for pain match 100%. I don't have any form of health insurance, can I still go somewhere to get treated? My knee is severely swollen, and I can feel a shooting pain up and down my leg. It also feels like my knee is pulsating... Help please, I need to go get this taken care of ASAP, I was advised to for it can cause blood clots.""

What is the average cost of life insurance?

I know individual circumstances apply, but there must be an average monthly cost somewhere. 33 years old, Looking for term life insurance, 500K I was just given a monthly quote for $28 per month""

Whats the cheapest non-owners...?

Car insurance?

Car Insurance in NY?

Car Insurance in NY,NY Some used car after year 2000 , for 18 yr old.? I heard its like $4000 a year.?""

Trampoline and home insurance question?

I would like to purchase a large trampoline. However, my boyfriend said he would have to pay more home insurance if there is one on his property. Is that true? Wouldn't that only be required if people outside of the home get injured on it? I would be the one using it mostly, the kids would too. They're young teens.""

Free car insurance quote?

What is the best car insurance quotes & rates site to get free car insurance quotes from? Simpler the better!? I was wondering if you guys would be able to shed a little light on the simplest free car insurance quotes sites out there for U.S. citizens specifically?

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I am about to turn sixteen and i was wndering how much insurance would cost for a Saturn sky?

Car insurance cost for a young driver?

My son is nearly 19 years old and having driving lessons. I am worried about the cost of car insurance for him. I have heard if he goes on my insurance it would be a lot cheaper. I have been driving around 10 years now with a clear licence, so my insurance is quite low at the moment. I was wondering if he were to go on my policy how much extra it would cost me if I were to protect my no claims?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/i-dont-have-car-yet-what-am-looking-insurance-yolanda-jones"

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The 10-a-day diet tested: ‘I feel like a sentient composter’

New research suggests that we ought to be eating 10 portions of fruit and veg a day. Stuart Heritage plies himself with the good stuff, and Guardian cook Felicity Cloake judges his efforts

Like everyone else in the world, my blood ran cold when I heard that we are now expected to eat 10 portions of fruit and vegetables every day. That is double the previous recommended amount, and even that required too much effort for my liking. Oh, sure, the effects of 10 a day sound miraculous researchers claim that it would decrease our chance of heart disease by 24%, stroke by 33% and cancer by 13% but it sounds a bit much, doesnt it?

Perhaps not. We wanted to investigate how much fruit and vegetables you need to eat to gain the maximum protection against disease, and premature death. Our results suggest that although five portions of fruit and vegetables is good, 10 a day is even better, said Imperial Colleges Dr Dagfinn Aune, lead author of the research.

What does it mean exactly? Its 10 servings of 80g portions so three tablespoons of peas, or one pear, say, is a single portion. So, is it do-able?

A YouGov poll from 2012 reported that only one in five of us manage to hit five portions a day, let alone 10. Brave pioneer that I am, I decided to find out over the course of a long weekend, before Guardian cook Felicity Cloake judged my efforts and offered some suggestions of how better to hit my goal.

Friday Breakfast

My breakfast usually consists of horrifyingly sugary cereal, to provide me with the artificial jolt of energy required to see me through the morning. Today, however, I eat a grapefruit, a banana and an apple. Better yet, a whole grapefruit counts as two portions. Still, its 7.30am, and Ive already almost hit half of my daily quota. In your face, science. Im going to live for ever.

Except Im not, obviously, because as Harley Street dietitian and sports nutritionist Raquel Britzke points out, favouring fruit over vegetables has problems of its own. Both give you carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, and fibre, she says. But fruits tend to have more carbs, and consequently more sugar, than vegetables. If you have a slow metabolism or are trying to lose weight, I recommend eating seven portions of veggies and three portions of fruit. Great.

A happy start to the experiment. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Lunch

G2 sends a photographer to my house, to show the world what I look like when Im near some vegetables. Inadvertently, my lunch becomes all the things that the photographer tells me to put into my mouth. This ends up being an apple, a banana and two different carrots.

Dinner

On a normal day, my meal of chicken and potatoes would have been entirely vegetable-free but, knowing that I now have a target to hit, I pile up a mound of cherry tomatoes on the side and work through those as well. Its not quite the advice I was given by another nutritionist, Laura Thomas, who suggested that all meals should consist of at least 50% vegetables, but its a start. A bowl of watermelon for pudding and Ive easily hit my 10.

Total intake: 10 portions.

Felicitys verdict

Stuart has immediately discovered the easy part of fruit and veg consumption: the fruit bit. Australians are told fruit should make up just two of their recommended seven portions a day because of its effect on blood sugar and he has got through 60g of sugar for breakfast alone. Although our own government seems to take the view that any fresh produce is better than the traditional British diet of Jammie Dodgers, it might be wise to swap some of this fruit for avocado on toast or a mushroom omelette occasionally, and save the sweet stuff for pudding later in the day.

Saturday Breakfast

Now that I have a toddler who can shout the word pancakes in a vaguely threatening manner, Saturday breakfast is always a rigidly enforced stack of banana pancakes. The good news: one stack has a whole banana in it. The bad news: it also has eggs and flour in it, which fill me up much more than just a banana would. However, I still manage to heroically force down an apple and two satsumas as well. Four portions, done and dusted by 8am. I am the best.

Saturday breakfast: banana pancakes and fruit. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Except, wait. After checking the NHS website, I realise that a satsuma only counts as half a portion, which knocks me back down to three. Undaunted, I eat two more satsumas to boost me back up, which means that Ive now eaten four satsumas in a row for breakfast. This is no way for a man to live.

Snack

I put my son down for a morning nap and, because of this stupid challenge, think: What a perfect opportunity to eat an entire raw carrot. It has been years since I last ate an entire raw carrot, and now I see why. Raw carrots are rubbish all chew and no reward. The carrot takes a thousand years to eat. It takes so long that my son wakes up before I finish, and I have to put the rest of it in my pocket for later. All this work, trying to sneak in a vegetable whenever I have a moment of downtime, is starting to make me feel less like a person and more like a sentient composter.

Lunch

A bowl of chicken-and-vegetable soup (which counts as a portion, according to the label), and two portions of grapes. Two portions of grapes is 28 grapes, which I count out one by one like some sort of shivering Victorian waif. What have I become?

Later, while running errands, the wind begins. There is a good three-minute stretch where a brand-new fart pops out of my trousers with every step I take. This is new. So much for science; I worry that if everyone eats 10 portions of fruit and veg a day, well all end up dead from methane inhalation.

Dinner

Meatballs and pasta and tomato sauce (homemade, so it counts) and another big bowl of watermelon. Ive hit my 10 portions again, and I only had to accidentally fumigate one shop to do it.

Total intake: 10 portions.

Felicitys verdict

Banana pancakes are a painless way to get fruit into children; top with berries to add an extra portion, and ring the changes with cheesy courgette or crispy carrot fritters occasionally. Equally, at this time of year, when salads feel a bit punishing, soup is a lifesaver: minestrone will happily absorb any old odds and ends you have in the fridge. You can also add finely chopped veg to meatballs and burgers (grated carrot or finely chopped spinach are good candidates) and, of course, if Stuart ever finishes that sugary watermelon, he could always knock up a chocolate beetroot or parsnip-and-orange cake as an after-dinner treat.

A bountiful breakfast. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Sunday Breakfast

The plan was to have a nice, big, healthy breakfast and then head out as a family to a fancy event in London. However, a combination of train cancellations, a sick wife and barely any sleep means that breakfast now consists of a chocolate chip cookie that I made with my son yesterday. The cookie has a glac cherry on it. Glac cherries apparently do not count towards your 10 a day. This feels like an oversight on the part of the NHS.

Lunch

Post-event, with my wife home unwell, my son and I find ourselves in the nightmarish epicentre of tourist hellscape London. Thomass advice for eating out is this: Ordering vegetable sides is a good option, but you could also think about replacing one of your protein foods with beans they can count as one portion per day. Trying to get more vegetarian meals in, too, will make it much easier, and this is consistent with the advice to cut back on red and processed meat.

However, this is an emergency; I just want to survive today. Lunch ends up being something that can be eaten quickly at the nearest possible kid-friendly place: a burger and chips from Giraffe. (Chips dont count as a portion, by the way. I checked.) I could have ordered vegetables but, after yesterdays carrot debacle, I realise that I would still be there chewing on it now if I had. Knowing what a failure today has become, and remembering that Thomas said they count, I order a smoothie. At least thats something.

On the train home, I distract my son and, when he isnt looking, eat some of the snacks I bought for him. I manage six grapes and a third of a satsuma, which is about two-thirds of a portion in total. Still counts, though.

Basically watermelon is terrible for you. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Dinner

Poor marital communication means that we end up eating chips again in the evening. On the plus side, we also have baked beans. Half a can of baked beans equals one portion of vegetables, and for one beautiful moment I toy with the idea of getting back on track by gorging myself on a multipack. However, the NHS guidance points out that anything over half a can still only counts as one portion, because they dont give the same mixture of vitamins, minerals and other nutrients as fruit and vegetables. This, it dawns on me, also applies to my doubled-up portions of grapefuit, apple and banana on Friday. I check the NHSs five a day website and it explains that to get the maximum benefits, you need to eat different types of fruit and vegetables. Stupid NHS. This isnt why I pay my taxes.

More watermelon for pudding, but this doesnt really make up for anything, especially since Britzke has decided to single out watermelon as one of the worst fruits to eat, thanks to its high glycemic index. Nutritionally, today has been a disaster.

Total intake: 3.66 portions.

Felicitys verdict

The problem with fruit and vegetables is that they tend to take more preparation than merely opening a packet (or, in Stuarts case, the biscuit tin), so its a good idea to keep carrot sticks or broccoli florets handy for those moments when you dont have time to faff about with cooking, ideally with a pot of something delicious to dip them into so you dont lose the will to live and reach for the crisps instead. In fact, like many healthy eating regimes, fitting more fruit and veg into your diet is much easier with a bit of forward planning. Stock up on frozen veg, tins of beans and pulses, and jars of fruit to add to meals when the salad drawer is bare. Also remember that although the potato is cruelly classed, by the powers that be, as a starchy food rather than a vegetable by the powers that be, the sweet potato is not and it makes seriously delicious chips. Just saying, Stuart.

MONDAY Breakfast

Yesterday broke me. Carting a kid about for a day is stressful enough as it is, and fretting about hitting a seemingly arbitrary vegetable target just added another level of anxiety to proceedings. So, today, screw it. Im just going to eat like normal. And, hey, if it kills me, it kills me. Breakfast is a leftover grapefruit. Happy now?

This only soups up the tally by one. Photograph: Stuart Heritage

Snack

An apple. If were being honest, its an apple and two Cadbury Creme Eggs. But were only counting the fruit and vegetables I eat, not any of my other disgusting dietary habits. Still, thats two portions so far.

Lunch

More chicken-and-vegetable soup. That makes three portions of fruit and veg. If these were the bad old days, back when we were all gormless knuckle-draggers who only thought we needed to eat five portions a day to be healthy, Id have been laughing. God, I miss the bad old days.

Dinner

I make shepherds pie. It contains two tins of tomatoes, two onions, two carrots, a leek that I had lying around and some frozen peas. If Ive done my maths right, divided by five, I think this works out at three portions a person. Add in the requisite bowl of watermelon at the end and thats four portions.

Total intake: seven portions.

Felicitys verdict

In just four days, Stuarts achieved fruit and veg enlightenment: the secret to eating more is to incorporate them into your ordinary diet, rather than hoping youll magically turn into the kind of person who enjoys snacking on raw kale. Adding extra portions to stews, curries, ragus and the like makes it feel a lot less like eating rabbit food than munching on a raw carrot next time he could try mixing some celeriac into the mash on top of his shepherds pie, too. And dont worry if some days are better than others: if beans on toast and an apple are the best you can manage, its still better than nothing. Even if you do have a Creme Egg on the side.

Total four-day intake: 30.66/40 portions

(If you let me have the doubled-up fruit and veg, which you shouldnt, but hey.)

Without really trying, Ive come tantalisingly close to the target. It hasnt made me too farty. It hasnt caused me any stress. So perhaps this is the secret here: you should just eat as many portions of fruit and vegetables as you can without letting it take over your life. If it goes belly-up for a day which it will, because there is more to life than endlessly chewing on foliage then thats not a big deal. After all, whats the point of living longer if its just going to make you uptight, unhappy and flatulent? Quit whining, science. Im doing fine.

Read more: http://bit.ly/2mclNYo

from The 10-a-day diet tested: ‘I feel like a sentient composter’