#plus i used a kit to grow crystals a few years back so??????

[infwctednyacifier]

I have a box that’s a few years old and is a gift (don't remember who) and it has 6 small, cylinder jewels (Tiger’s Eye, Rose Quartz, Turquoise, Aventurine, Red Jasper, & Lapis Lazuli). It has two small boxes inside with a cover and in the bottom one I put a small shark tooth from a broken necklace and in the top, on top of the cover, is a small, fake, pink rose and in the box are a handmade star and moon that are full of glitter and were made with a kit and I also have a bunch of other rocks & a necklace with crystals that was said to help with relationships (don't fully remember, bought it in June in Puerto Rico) and I’m just now realizing that my ADHD–fueled obsession with crystals and rocks may or may not have supplied me with enough items to become a witch/pagan. Anyways, witch/pagan Tumblr how y’all feel about the ADHD crystal box :3

[quirklessbunny]

it is nocts birthday if you want to do something with that.

This is so hecking late, I’m sorry Noct and I’m sorry anon. Happy late birthday though, Noct! Lots of love for our king!

Some content warnings: canon typical violence, some cussing, major character death, 10 years of darkness

pairings: polyship roadtrip with Promptis as the main focus

Edit: i don’t know what the hell happened to the formatting but I’m gonna try to fix it. Its also available on my ao3, starofinsomnia

I hope you enjoy!

Noise. Yelling? Sobbing? No, he's not sure, just a cacophony of echoing noise bouncing off the walls nearby. He shifts, whimpering softly when it just causes pain to spike through his back. He peels his eyes open finally, staring up at the destroyed ceiling of the Citadel. Whathappened here? His father is going to be pissed if he somehow caused the destruction of the damn castle. He sighs softly and closes hiseyes again, hoping that Ignis or Gladio gets here soon and explains something, becausehe has no idea why his back and knee hurt this bad, or what happened to him to make his head pound. All he knows is he feels old and hewants to lay in a proper bed.

Minutes pass and nothing seems to happen. Noctis wonders where Ignis is, there's no way he wouldn't come to check on Noctis unless something was stopping him. He slowly sits up, a soft cry falling from his lips. Agony laces through his body. When he looks down at himself, there's blood on his clothes and his shirt is ripped, but there seems to a relatively small wound on his chest. A little vibrant featherfalls to the ground beside him, and seemingly stray sparks of light glitter around him.

A phoenix down, his brain supplies. Why did someone need to use a phoenix down on him? Last he remembers, they were nearly to thecrystal, they had just gotten Prompto back- Prompto. Where's Prompto now? His best friend would never leave his side if he had just gotten down'd, the man acts like he really died regardless of his reassurances, and usually takes a few days to calm down. So where ishe in the minutes after a successful revive?

Noctisslowly heaves himself to his feet, choking on a cough. His bodyabsolutely does not want him to walk, when did his knees get sofucked? But here he is, going on anyway. He never was good atlistening to his body and treating it properly, at least, accordingto Ignis. He heads towards the source of the noises, even though itcauses his head to ache worse. He pauses by the door, pressing hisforehead against the splintering wood. The pressure does nothing toease it, and he wonders if Ignis will have any advil on him.Probably. If not, Gladio definitely has some in his dumb campingfirst aid kit.

Hefinally forces himself out of the door, listening to the noise alittle more carefully. Fighting, it definitely sounds like fighting.The crash of blades and grunting gives it away. He uses the wall tohold himself up, hand scraping over the cold stone. He rounds thecorner and finds the fight almost directly in front of him. The men look like Ignis and Gladio. But older, as if theyears haven't been kind to them. Ignis is moving a lot better than hewas last time Noctis remembers seeing him. He's glad, though he cantell Ignis never recovered his sight, with the way he's moving. Morecautious than usual, mostly using magic.

Howmuch time has passed? He doesn't remember much of anything, butclearly time has gone by. He feels it in his bones, he sees it in theother two, sees it in the state of the Citadel. He reaches up,fingers brushing over his jaw. Facial hair, he wasn't able to growthat before. When the fight ends, he stumbles from the shadows, tearswelling into his eyes. The other two jolt towards the sound, butGladio visibly relaxes right away.

“Yourmajesty,” Gladio says, deep voice rumbling and full of thickemotion. Noctis finds that he had missed it. He lets the tears falloff his cheeks and jolts forward, throwing himself into the arms ofhis shield, his love. He has no idea how long it's been since he'sbeen able to touch someone like this, but he feels in his skin thatit's been years. He can't believe how painful it is to be touchstarved and not remember why he feels that way. He leans up a littlebit, clumsily, hitting their mouths together in a slight rush.

“Where'sPrompto?” he asks when their separate, voice trembling. He leansheavily against him, unable to hold himself up on his own now. Hislegs aren't prepared to hold his weight. “Why can't I...rememberanything?”

“Promptois headed to Hammerhead, your majesty. He went ahead to clear as muchof a path as he could, though it wasn't without us forcing him out.He wanted to stay with you, like always. I promise to you, though, toour knowledge he's fine and well. Let's go, now. I want to make surewe get to a safe zone,” Ignis says. He walks forward, hand comingout and feeling along Gladio's body until his fingers bury in Noctis'grimy hair. “Carry him, would you Gladio?” he asks. “Thepheonix down couldn't fix everything, and you were down long enoughthat you could have gaps in your memory. It's a documented phenomena.Sometimes it comes back, sometimes it doesn't. Like amnesia.”

Noctisnods slightly. “The last thing I remember is almost getting to theCrystal. But I also remember very little about what happened beforethen too.” He sighs softly. He's relieved when Gladio picks him up,he wasn't sure how much longer he could have stayed upright. It'slike the last of his strength is finally being sapped now that he'ssafe with his lovers.

Noctisslides in and out of consciousness on the ride back to Hammerhead,his face pressed into Ignis' thigh as he snores. He's never had anytrouble sleeping before, and now is not any different. The exhaustionand pain weighing heavily on his body help him along. When the carstops, he feels like he's being blinded by the sun, but his mindtells him that can't be right. 10 years of darkness, he thinks aftera few moments. But wasn't something supposed to fix that? He feelslike it was important to him, like it was job orsomething. A prophecy he doesn't remember the words to.

Heslowly climbs from the car, looking around. Just bright floodlights,he realizes. To keep the demons off. This feels familiar, walking upto Hammerhead in this setting. He looks up, and when he seesPrompto's face his legs give out. Gods above, he missed him. He looksridiculous with that stupid facial hair, but its so absolutelyPrompto that it makes him weak.

“Noct!”Prompto shouts, voice confused and scared. He rushes forward,kneeling in front of Noctis and looking him over. “Good?” he askssoftly, hands moving to his cheeks. “Gods Noct, that wasn't fair.You don't get to scare me twice like that.” He hugs him tightly,sliding his hands over his back. He clutches him closer, leans theirforeheads together. “Fuck, I thought that phoenix down wasn't gonnabe enough, and I was so scared but I'm so glad you're here now. Imissed you.”

Noctislets out a soft sob and hugs him back. He clutches Prompto's clothes,pulling on them pretty hard in an effort to get closer to him. “Imissed you,” he mumbles. He moves his hands up and grips Prompto'scheeks, yanking him into a deep kiss. “Don't leave me,” hewhispers, voice desperate, choked, broken. He can't live with thethought that he might be alone again.

“Iwon't. I would never leave you,” Prompto responds. He slowly standsup, pulling Noctis close to lean on him. “Let's go inside, I have asurprise all set up for you.” He kisses his cheek, smiling at him.The smile is tired, Prompto is exhausted. Exhausted from thefighting, exhausted from the darkness. But he'd always smile for hisbest friend and the love of his life. “And then we can all sleepfor a little bit. Because we deserve it and earned it. Plus I doubt10 years of sleeping would put a dent in your sleep pattern.”Prompto gives him a teasing smile, and Noctis can't help but snort.

“Shutup. Not all of us have the energy of a golden retriever,” heresponds, voice playful. Noctis sighs softly, leaning harder into himwhen Prompto reaches out to open the door to the restaurant. Insideis dark and quiet for a few moments, before the lights flick on andthe entire room is filled with shouts of 'surprise!' Noctis startsfor a moment, looking around in confusion. Everyone is so much olderthan he remembers, but also what is the surprise for? He looks arounduntil his eyes meet the crude banner hung above the counter.

“Birthday?It's my birthday?” he asks.

Promptosmiles and shrugs. “I mean, it was a few days ago, but I figured itcouldn't hurt to celebrate.” He rubs his fingers against Noctis'hip. “And we have a lot to celebrate. I gotta ask, though, Noct.Will you stay up long enough to watch the sun rise with us?” heasks, eyes soft.

Noctisfeels a new round of tears well into his eyes. “Yes,” he chokesout, holding onto his hand tightly. “Yeah, I'd really like that.”He looks around. “Thank you all. I hope we can move into a new eraof prosperity together,” he announces, smiling even as tears falldown his cheeks.

Hecan't remember much, but he's pretty sure this is a damn goodbirthday.

[sightsoundrhythm]

DALE CROVER

Dale Crover is a Los Angeles based musician best known for being the drummer in The Melvins. Since joining the band in 1984, The Melvins have released 21 albums to date, as well as numerous E.P.s, compilations and live recordings. Their most recent album, Pinkus Abortion Technician, is available now via Ipecac Recordings.

Dale's readily identifiable, bombastic, and creatively boundless style has remained an integral part of the band's sound throughout their 35 years together, helping to shape their unique output as well as influencing countless musicians and bands along the way.

In Addition to his work with The Melvins, Dale was also an early member of Nirvana, performing on their first demo as a band and appearing on three album releases, including their debut album Bleach on Sub Pop Records. He has also recorded and performed music with a multitude of different bands over the years including: Crystal Fairy, Hank Williams III and Shrinebuilder, to name a few, and he currently plays in Redd Kross, Altamont and leads the Dale Crover Band on vocals and guitar.

Pinkus Abortion Technician by Melvins

SIGHT/SOUND/RHYTHM spoke to Dale a few hours before a Melvins show at Leeds University, UK, to discuss his musical background, the past and present of The Melvins, and a few of the many musical projects that he's been involved in.

How's the tour been going so far?

Good, thanks. We have three shows left for this run after tonight.

You played here at Leeds University before, didn't you?

Yeah, we last played here about ten years ago.

Have you been next door to see where The Who's Live at Leeds was recorded?

Yeah, I just went over there to check it out. I'd seen it before when we were here last time but I had to go and take a picture of it. Buzz (Osbourne, Melvins frontman) was saying that he remembered seeing photos from Live at Leeds and that the stage was really shallow.

The Stones, Zeppelin, and tons of other bands played there, which is pretty impressive. I remember the last time we were here they had pictures up of The Who when they played there again in the mid '00s.

Whenever I'd listen to that record I always imagined that it was recorded in some really nice, pristine theatre, then I saw it and was like, this is where they recorded it? A crappy lunch room?! [laughs] It kind of makes sense I guess.

I was listening to Live at Leeds recently and I can hear some of that vocabulary in your playing – the way he played fills around the kit. Was Keith Moon a big influence on you?

Yeah, pretty big. I didn't really know The Who until I joined The Melvins. I heard them through Buzz, and he's a huge Who fan. They were, and probably still are, his favourite band. He always talked about how you can tell that Pete Townshend was writing with his drumming in mind on a lot of their material.

I met Jim Fox who drums in The James Gang not too long ago. Somebody had made him aware that we'd covered the song Stop on our new record, which they had done a cover of, too, so he came down to one of our shows.

They had done a bunch of shows with The Who in the U.S. during the seventies. Townsend really liked Joe Walsh's playing, so they invited them to come over here to the U.K. and tour. He said that the way that those guys toured was that they each had their own car and driver, so they got paired up together. So it'd be Joe Walsh with Pete Townshend, and Jim Fox got paired up with Keith Moon. Sometimes they'd ride with Roger (Daltrey) but they didn't like it because he drove his own car and they said that his driving was really crappy. [laughs]

I knew Jim would have a million Keith Moon stories, and he was like, 'Yeah... but he'd just pretty much pass out in the car for the whole day and then wake up at around 5pm'. Keith would be there asking, 'How was the show last night?' It was probably amazing, judging by how good Live at Leeds is.

What were you like as a kid?

I was kind of a goofy kid, glasses, but pretty normal. I heard music early on though. I had Beatles and Monkees records from when I was about six years old. I liked baseball, and still do. I didn't like it for a long time but now I like it again.

I grew up in a very small town with not a lot going on...

That's Aberdeen, Washington?

Yeah. I actually had parents that weren't divorced, unlike all of my other friends.

[Dale's phone vibrates]

Sorry, that's my friend Bob (Hannam). He's the guy who made our documentary. He's actually from Bradford.

[Laughs] Ah, ok. You and I actually met in Bradford in 1996 when you guys were touring Stag.

Oh, wow! Really?

Yeah, you'd just finished playing at a club called Rios. We hung out for a while afterwards and you, Buzz and Mark Deutrom were teaching me and my friend how to play Craps in the car park with some dice that you'd recently picked up in Las Vegas.

[Laughs] That's crazy!

I remember that tour. The Seattle thing was kind of over by that point and I remember our booking agent trying to talk us out of doing the whole tour in the U.K. He was saying, 'Look, it's going to be bad. London will be fine, but you just shouldn't do it'. We really wanted to do it though... but, on the whole, it was really under-attended.

Yeah, I think there were probably around 50 people there and you guys were doing three sets.

That's right, we did!

I remember you ending one of the sets with Cottonmouth...

Right! We were just talking about that the other day, about how I used to play guitar from behind the kit and sing that.

I gotta ask my friend really quick about this show. [Dale sends a text to Bob Hannam]

Melvins were playing three sets a night on that tour. How did you prepare yourself for that?

Practicing a lot, plus when you get on tour you get used to playing pretty quickly. I think by that point we had been on tour for a while. Prior to that we had already played shows before where we had done two or three sets. Once you get past the second set you're already warmed up and can do it without any problems.

I did it last year when we were playing over here in England with Melvins and Redd Kross, so I'd be doing a set with both bands, and by the Melvins set I'd be fully warmed up.

How old were you when you first started playing?

I guess officially I would've probably been about eleven or twelve.

I found out that my neighbour had a drum set in their basement that they didn't really play and I somehow talked him into letting me take it home, just to bang around on it. I also played guitar from when I was around eight years old, and I always liked both.

I remember being in a talent show in fifth or sixth grade and playing guitar. I taught my friend that lived across the alley from me how to play the drums for it.

Around that same time I had this older friend who lived a block away, who eventually went on to play in the band Metal Church, and he befriended me. By that point I was already into Kiss, who I had seen play when I was in sixth grade, but he turned me on to Zeppelin and stuff like that. He was even showing me how to play rock songs on the guitar, like Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent, but then at some point he said, 'You know, you should get a drum set so we can jam!' So that's kind of how I started.

Did you have an immediate connection with the instrument?

Yeah, I think so. I mean, I was already really into it, even before that... especially with Kiss. That was the band that made me want to play music.

I don't even know if schools have much of a music program anymore, but starting in fourth grade back then you could play a stringed instrument, so I started playing cello. Then in fifth grade you could play a brass instrument, so I wanted to play the tuba [laughs], but then rock and roll basically took over and I switched in the following year and got a snare drum. I had a paper route and I delivered papers to buy my first drum set, and I had it by the seventh grade.

That first drum set was from the 60's and it got pretty thrashed. I used it when I was in The Melvins, too.

What was it like growing up somewhere that didn't have a music scene?

It was weird. Even then a lot of the music that I liked wasn't being played on the local radio, so I found out about stuff through my older friends. One of my friends got into a cover band and I used to go and watch them practice all the time.

I actually met a drummer who was pretty good from the neighbouring town, whose brother actually ended up marrying my sister. He had a Ludwig Octaplus drum set with double bass drums and eight toms. After a while I wasn't into Kiss anymore and I got into Rush, so I was really into Neil Peart.

You're going to need those toms!

[laughs] Exactly! I never got there though.

At one point, the drum set I had in The Melvins was a red sparkle kit which had two mismatched bass drums from different kits. They were the same colour but they didn't quite match.

So I had two bass drums, two rack toms, a floor tom, and then another big floor tom in the centre, so it was this kind of weird pyramid/diamond shape. It was held up by gravity and shitty stands and I couldn't afford cymbals. When I eventually could, I remember buying one and bringing it to practice and those guys taking it from me and hiding it. I could only use it when we played shows because I just used to break them, you know.

Did the geographical isolation of Aberdeen help you guys as a band?

Definitely. I mean, all we did was practice when we started, but really we made most of our music away from there. It inspired us to play because there was really nothing else to do, besides smoke weed and drink.

Do you still have family there?

No, not anymore. Both of my parents have passed away. My mom had actually already moved out of there when she retired and so she went to Olympia. There was a lot more going on there, and when The Melvins first started out that's where we would go and play. I mean, there was no place to play in Aberdeen at all, and nobody would've liked it anyway.

How supportive were they when you first started playing?

They were really supportive. I remember the day that Buzz and Matt came over to talk to me about playing in The Melvins. My mom had just been saying to me, 'You know, you've got to find a band that's really going to do something', because the stuff I was doing at the time really wasn't going anywhere.

I already knew who they were from seeing them open for Metal Church in Aberdeen, and nobody liked them. That was the one gig that happened there ever, besides some school dances.

I'd actually seen them already because this cover band that I played in had done a benefit for a live radio show which was happening at Christmas time at Elk's Lodge, which The Melvins were also playing. They were the only band around who were playing original material, which I thought was kind of cool. I didn't know anything about punk rock then besides what I'd read, and I'd never heard it because you couldn't find any of those records. I'd seen the film Rock & Roll High School, and the only thing I could relate it to was that they kind of sounded like The Ramones and also like Motorhead, so I liked it. My other band mates thought it sucked, probably because it was competition for them.

Before all of that my bands were practicing at our house. We had a little four bedroom house and my older brothers had already moved out and gone to college, so I had command of three bedrooms. The one at the back of the house was where we would practice. When I first joined the Melvins we practiced for about a month before our first show.

Where was that first show?

In Olympia.

Do you remember much about it?

It was us opening for D.O.A., and I think it went well.

There was another one a week later that was with Green River and a band called The He-Sluts at the Tropicana in Olympia. The U-Men were supposed to play, who were a pretty popular Seattle band, but for whatever reason they didn't show up. There is a recording of that show available.

[Dale receives a text from Bob Hannam]

Bob said about that Bradford show: “Yeah, you did three sets. My friend left half way through because he couldn't stand it.” [laughs]

What were the things that were important to you when you first started playing and how have they changed over time?

Good question. Well, it's not so important for me to play fast anymore. [laughs]

Things have changed and grown so much that it's really hard to say. Even from our first recordings to now, they're far different, but I guess that comes with experience. We still practice a lot, so some things haven't changed. We have our own studio now and we're able to record whenever we want to. I think that's helped us musically.

When we did our first record, we'd rehearse those songs so much before we ever got to record them, and we probably beat some of them into the ground and ruined what the original feeling was.

Did you record the first album with a label in mind to release it?

No, not with the first record. There are probably a chunk of songs that never got recorded because we didn't have the means to do it. We'd play them live a few times and then get sick of them and write new songs that we liked more, so there were probably at least a full album's worth of songs that we never even recorded, which we've probably since forgotten about, too.

They might be on some cassette tape somewhere. When we can't play anymore we'll dig up all the stuff from the archives, kind of like the Bob Dylan Bootleg Series.

Similar to The Mangled Demos?

Yeah. That stuff was all with Mike Dillard who was the original drummer.

How long was Mike playing in The Melvins before you joined?

Probably for about a year. The band started in 1983 and I think that once Buzz started to write songs that were a little more complicated, Mike wasn't quite comprehending it. We're all still good friends and we did the Melvins 1983 record with him on drums.

It's cool because he still feels like a part of the band, and whenever we hang out with him it's like we're back in eighth grade again. [laughs] He and Buzz used to cause a lot of trouble when they were teenagers.

It's nice that you still have that connection. Were there any things in particular that you remember trying to master when you first started?

Oh, gosh. Well, I remember playing to Kiss records.

I'm sure that there were triplet fills which incorporated the bass drum and stuff like that, or just trying to figure how drummers did certain things.

I remember even before I started taking lessons that the Bay City Rollers had a Saturday morning variety show in the States and they were huge. I wasn't really a fan of those guys but I could watch the drummer on the show and I could see how he played certain things.

I mean, I had a pretty good time figuring stuff out, and it wasn't too difficult.

How long were you taking lessons for?

Probably about three or four years, and that started because there was a school band when I was in Junior High School, which had a lot of drummers, probably more than most school bands would have. Most schools would have one or two and we had up to eight.

There was a professor at the junior college who was a jazz drummer and he offered lessons for 50 cents per kid if we'd go in on Saturdays. So there were drummers there who were older than me who had seniority and they were first chair, but none of them showed up. So it was me and one other kid, who couldn't play very well.

The next week came and only I showed up and the drum teacher said, 'I was hoping that this was going to go a little better and that more people would show up, but I can't really give you lessons for just fifty cents [laughs], but if you want to take private lessons with me I can do it for six bucks an hour'. So that's where I started learning rudiments as well as working on proper technique, which I still practice now.

A lot of players who hit as hard as you do aren't always that aware of their own technique but this seems to be something that you're definitely aware of.

Yeah, these days there's less movement in my drumming. I realised this recently that I use my fingers when I'm playing a lot more now. When I was younger I didn't really sit around and practice all of that stuff too much – I just wanted to play rock songs, but now I do a lot more of that stuff. Also, I still feel like I'm still learning. I'll go on Youtube and figure stuff out and look at how other people play, which is great.

It's a process that never ends.

Yeah!

Have you had any physical problems from playing at all?

I pinched a nerve in my shoulder when we were playing with Jello Biafra. We were practicing a lot and I moved my arm in a weird way and that was it. It took a long time to heal. It was... it was fucked, [laughs] but I still had to play and get through it.

How are your ears holding up?

I'm hard of hearing and they're going for sure. I've actually got hearing aids but I don't wear them all of the time. When I'm around my kids I have a hard time hearing them, so it was something that I'd thought about for a long time and I finally got them.

You've always struck me as a very ego-less player in a lot of ways. I can't imagine many drummers being completely willing to include a second drummer into a band, or switching to bass for an entire record and letting another drummer take over.

Likewise with your playing itself. I remember first hearing the intro to the song 'Queen' from Stoner Witch and being impressed at how simple the opening part was, which I found to be equally as impressive as some of your more complex playing. I feel that a lot of drummers wouldn't dare to play something so simplistic like that. 

Do you have a particular philosophy towards drumming that informs how you play?

No, not necessarily. It all depends on the song.

With regards to being ego-less, there are a lot of drummers who wouldn't like it if a guitar player said, 'I want you to play it like this'. But, for me, it's like: well, he wrote the song!

Sometimes I might not know what exactly to play and Buzz might have an idea for what he's already hearing. This gets back to how someone like Pete Townshend wrote for Keith Moon, and a lot of the time Buzz writes with me in mind. That isn't always the case. Sometimes he might not know what needs to be played and then I'll come up with something.

How does Buzz dictate some of those ideas to you?

A lot of it is just him telling me where he hears certain ideas, and sometimes some of that is hard to learn in order to get it right, but he's got great ideas.

The band has gone through many line up changes over the course of 35 years. Most bands wouldn't have lasted as long under the same circumstances. Do you think that this has worked to your advantage as a band?

Yeah, it's certainly kept it fresh. We never wanted to part ways with anybody in particular, it just always came down to personal problems. After we had Kevin Rutmanis playing bass – that was a really hard break up because we really liked him but he had troubles that were affecting the band.

After that we went back into it not wanting to have anyone that we would consider permanent anymore. We want to have an open relationship basically [laughs], and that's worked great!

This current line up of The Melvins features two bass players (Jeff Pinkus and Steve McDonald). Has playing in this configuration forced you to alter your approach at all?

I don't think so.

Does it help to create more musical opportunities?

Yeah. I try to play with them both, so I'm not really following one or the other. They've both come up with their own parts for the whole thing.

What were the musical challenges for you when including Cody Willis from Big Business into the band as a second drummer? I know that you had talked in the past about including Dave Grohl as a second drummer in the mid nineties so I'm guessing that this was something you'd been interested in doing for a while.

Yeah, after Nirvana broke up we actually asked him if he'd like to come and join us. It was an open invitation to come and do whatever, whether that would have been recording or playing a show. We heard that he was into it, and we saw his old band mates in Scream who said that Dave had even drawn up some plans for building one large drum set that we would both play, but it never went any further. Soon after he formed Foo Fighters and that was that.

So, yeah, it was something that we had been thinking about for a while, and we kind of did it with the Melvins/Fantomas Big Band with Dave Lombardo, so we knew that it would work. There was another guy that we asked who was in a band called Hovercraft but he didn't want to do it. We had toured with them and he would keep his drum set out and then come out and play the song 'Amazon' with us, so we knew that it was an idea that would work.

After Kevin left the band my wife actually suggested that we ask Jared, who plays bass in Big Business alongside Cody, to join the band, because she'd been friends with him, and we'd played shows with them before. So I mentioned that to Buzz and he said, 'Why don't we just ask both of them to do it?'

I thought it'd be cool. Cody plays left handed so we were able to put the two sets together and share certain parts of the kit.

We just asked them to come down and play, not to try out for the band, just to see what they thought, and it happened right away. We worked really hard on everything. Funnily enough, they were already thinking about moving down to L.A. to begin with.

You played on some really early Nirvana recordings, including tracks that ended up on the album Bleach. What are some of the standout memories you have from recording those sessions with Jack Endino at Reciprocal?

They wanted to do a demo so that they could get a permanent drummer, basically, and I worked it all out with those guys. We drove over to Reciprocal Recording and did ten songs, which were done really quickly. Whenever I listen to some of those songs now I'm reminded that we were drinking coffee and eating chocolate covered espresso beans, so you can hear some of those songs speed up, but we weren't really too worried about because it was just a demo. They ended up going back later to remix and use some of those songs. That night after recording we went and played our first show, then the next day we shot a video at Radio Shack in Aberdeen.

We had a friend who was the manager there and the video is just us miming along to one of the songs [laughs]. We were sort of messing around. It was fun!

Among the many projects that you've been involved with, you and Buzz played with Omar and Teri in Crystal Fairy not so long ago. What was it like doing that project? Will you be doing anything more with it?

Unfortunately I don't know that any more will happen with it but we really liked writing songs with Teri. We just got in a room to figure out what kind of songs we wanted to write, and both Buzz and Teri had a few ideas. Within the first day of getting together we had written and recorded three songs that were damn near done. She's really quick at writing and comes up with amazing lyrics. I'd never played with a singer who could just come up with melody and good lyrics right off the top of their head like that. It's crazy.

Yeah, it was cool hearing her in a different context to what I had heard her in before. It's a great record.

Yeah! I'm involved in it of course but I think she was doing things that she'd never done before with that record. It was one of my favourite things that I've been involved in at that point, so I was really bummed that it fell apart and that we didn't get to play any shows.

Buzz and I were really committed to it. We were going to put The Melvins on hold because we thought that it was something that was really special. So that was a tough loss.

Your musical relationship with Buzz is now into its third decade. What is it that makes the relationship between the two of you work so well?

I don't know. We were in a working relationship before we were really friends, which is probably different from most bands.

I think just keeping our heads together and being realistic about everything, and really wanting it to work. Bands usually break up for stupid reasons but, for whatever reason, we never wanted to quit. I'm really happy about it. We've never really gotten into fights or anything like that. We get along well.

When we're at home we sometimes hang out and go to a baseball game together, or maybe the movies or go play golf. We don't live in the same neighbourhood, so we aren't over at each other's houses much, maybe once or twice a year, but we see each other all of the time elsewhere anyway.

How does being a dad fit in with being a touring musician at this point? What do your kids make of what you do?

I think they like it. Sometimes kids at their school even know who the band is. They've come to see us play and have pretty much grown up with it but it is hard for them, especially when I first leave. It's hard for me, too.

Before we even had kids, me and my wife would have long talks about how it would work. I mean, I have to keep doing this because this is how I make money, so it's going to be hard but we just have to deal with it the best we can. It's a strange life. Not everybody has that. The one thing I could maybe relate it to would be like someone being in the military, but then those people are sometimes gone for longer.

I relate things to baseball a lot, too, [laughs] but baseball players will play a hundred and sixty two games a year and half of those are away. The only thing that's probably easier for them is that they aren't in one place for a single night, so they'll play at a place for three or four nights. I wish we could do that. That'd be great! [laughs]

What are the things you spend the most amount of time thinking about these days?

You mean besides baseball? [laughs] I honestly don't know. I try to live in the moment.

What are some of the things that are currently challenging you?

Trying to schedule everything in my life, because there's so much going on.

Melvins is always a solid schedule, but when I get home I also have a solo band now and I also play with Redd Kross, then there will be more Melvins shows. So just trying to get everything to fit in and still have time for family.

I'm trying to do all of these things and not feel like I've got too much on my plate and still be able to get everything done.

It's a hard balance.

Yeah, it is.

Well, thanks for taking the time to do this, Dale. It's massively appreciated.

Thank you!

Interview by Dave Jones. 

[arplis]

Arplis - News: My 22 Goals for 2019

Goal #1 — Spend More Time Doing What I Love Just look at that forecast! Fall has finally arrived and before you know it I’ll be wearing my beloved puffy coat and snow will be on the way! I couldn’t be more excited. And those nighttime temps! I’ll need to bring Miss Lemon in. Goal #2 — Garden, Garden, Garden The HH broke out Manny yesterday after he dug up a beautiful 18″ planting space for my baby gem boxwoods and muscari border. We added a few bags of compost to the spot to help the plants get established. We will probably need to expand the planting space in a few years once the boxwoods get a little bigger, for now, scale wise, everything looks as it should. I’ll do a proper post later in the week and show you the new boxwood border. If you haven’t ordered your spring bulbs yet, I ordered 400 tulip bulbs and 500 muscari bulbs from Van Engelen Wholesale Bulb Company and the bulbs were fantastic. The bulbs arrived in about a week and were packaged very well. I highly recommend them. Goal #3 — Plant an Orchard {Calling it Quits on this one.} Lemon is about ready to have babies!!! Two of the Meyer lemons have gone from a dark green to a pale lime green color over the past few weeks and I don’t know for sure, but I think we have another week or two to go until it’s time to harvest our first two Meyer lemons of the year. HOW EXCITING! It will have to be a home birth though {as opposed to an outdoor one} because temps are dropping below 50 tonight {and for 6 of the 7 days in the upcoming forecast} and the lady at the nursery told me when outdoor overnight temps are consistently below 50 degrees at night, that’s when you know it’s time to bring your citrus trees in for the winter. Luckily we have the perfect sunny indoor spot plants, so all is well. Goal #4 — Gussy Up the Potting Shed Done! Goal #5 — Grow Enough Extra Vegetables, Eggs and Flowers to Earn $1500 at my little roadside vegetable stand. It was totally my intention to grow a ton of fruits and vegetables to sell at the farm-stand when I made my list of goals for 2019 last winter, but then we moved. So, that whole goal was sort of a bust. The new peeps wanted the vegetable stand, and we were happy to leave it for them since it was made specifically to match the front of the house, so hopefully the tradition will continue. Goal #6 — Finish Every Single Unfinished Rug Hooking Project in My Pattern Bin + 10 Things from back Issues of Magazines/Books I’ve Been Meaning to Make.  I was able to hook 3 small pieces last week {2 from my pattern stash} and once I get the backing on the make dos and finish the back of the rug I’ll add them to my Etsy shop {hopefully in the next two days}. 73 rugs in my pattern bin {now down to 32} 183 hooked flowers {finished 133, now down to 51} 10 “things” from back issues of magazines {finished 0} Goal #7 — Create 12 New Rug Hooking Patterns {with at least half of them being large ones} DONE! So far this year I’ve added 12 new rug hooking patterns and 13 beginner rug hooking kits to my Etsy shop. New rug hooking patterns I’ve created and added to My Etsy Shop this year: Tullia and Thomas Turkey Double Nantucket Whale Runner Miss Henny and Penny Miss Penny Simple Kitty Primitive Flowers 2 Fat Cats Annabell’s Big Day Old Fashioned Double Tulip Fat Brown Hen Busy Little Bee Queen Bee Rug Hooking Kits Busy Little Bee {in 2 different colors} Folk Art Heart Small Nantucket Whale Primitive Crow Miss Robin {in 2 different colors} Simple Kitty Primitive Flowers Sunflowers A Basket of Spring Posies Fat Brown Hen Chicky’s Garden Goal #8 — Split and Stack 2 Cords of Wood for Next Winter  All that firewood! We sold it. 😉 Goal #9 — Do Something with the 5,002 Photos on My Phone Current number of photos on phone is 11 million. Goal #10 –Lose the Muffin Top Actually doing well on this goal and fully expect to fit into my pants by the end of the year. Apparently living in the city and walking for pastries is an excellent workout regimen. Who knew? Goal #11 — Run, Walk or Crawl a 5k, 10k, Half Marathon and Marathon I have signed up for both a half marathon and a 5k! 🙂 Looks like this baby will be checked off around Thanksgiving. Goal #12 — Read or Listen to 26 New Books {17 down, 8 to go} This past week I listened to I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. It was okay. The first half was basically a {funny} list of complaints, but the second half was much better in my opinion. The audio version was short {around 3 hours I think} and so it passed the time as I painted a closet. If it was in paper form would I sit down and read it all the way through? Probably not. I did enjoy her book, I Remember Nothing much, much more. Currently on Request: Mr. Churchill’s Secretary by Susan Elia MacNeal The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley Books I’ve Read or Listened to So Far This Year: Marilla of Green Gables #1 Still my favorite The Great Alone #2 The Aviator’s Wife #3 Before We Were Yours #4 Secrets of a Charmed Life #5 Where’d You Go, Bernadette #6 Carnegie’s Maid #7 The Gown #8 Unbroken #9 The Alice Network #10 The Shape of Mercy #11 Will’s Red Coat #12 Big Little Lies #13 I Feel Bad About My Neck Bunny Mellon  {Doesn’t count because it was my second time} On Writing {Doesn’t count because it was my third time} Walden Finder’s Keepers Delicious! Following Atticus Goal #13 — Try 52 New Recipes. 24 down, 30 recipes to go. OCTOBER. October is going to be my month for cooking! Goal #14 — Clean Up 52 Old Recipes on the Blog 9 down, 44 to go. I’ll get crackin’ once fall {and cooler temps} come around. Goal #15 — Fill 100 Canning Jars 48 down, 52 to go. Anyone ever canned quince jam before? Using quince from an ornamental bush rather than a tree? Gaaaa. These suckers are ROCK hard and tiny {1″ – 2″} and I’m not even sure I’d have enough to make the effort worthwhile. {I’d need about 2 pounds of quince for a batch of jam}. I mean I like jam and all, but I’m not sure I want to go through all the trouble. Any advice would be AWESOME. So far this year I’ve I canned: 7 jars Peach Jam 7 jars of Strawberry Jam 15 jars of Carrot Cake Jam 15 jars of Spiced Pear Jam  4 jars of Almond Pears. Goal #16 — Finish Furnishing Our House A couch and two chairs have been ordered! Once we get those in place I’ll order a rug {I’m not 100% sure on the size we need yet} and then I’ll paint the walls and create some artwork to hang up and we’ll be good to go. I am SO looking forward to getting the family room all done up in a beachy, nautical theme. Classic New England, that’s what I’ll be going for. Weeeeee. Goal #17 – 52 Dates with the HH {29 down, 23 to go} Bakery dates are the best! Goal #18 — Take One Adult Education Class Done {I’ve taken 3!} I’m keeping the first class I took with my neighbor top secret for now {Mel know’s what it is though} 😉 Spoon Carving Class with Heather. Mini pottery lesson {I loved it! and now I want to sign up for a full class} Goal #19 — Secret {for now} Holiday Project The big reveal will be on Friday, November 1st. Goal #20 — Create 12 Wowie Zowie Party Platters 5 down, 7 to go. Cooler temps mean CHEESE. Right? 😉 I’m looking forward to making up another platter this week. Goal #21 — Visit 12 General Stores 8 down 4 to go. So far this year we’ve visited: Chase’s Daily {I think it should count} Squam Lake Marketplace Harrisville General Store Dodge’s Store in New Boston, New Hampshire Zeb’s General Store in North Conway, New Hampshire Dan and Whit’s in Norwich, Vermont Hussey’s General Store in Windsor, Maine Goal #22 — Compete with Carole….. Get on My Front Door Game On While I currently have a bundle of Indian corn hanging on the front door, once we get closer to Halloween I’ll hang Mrs. HB’s beautiful wreath she made me up on the door. Have you ever seen the movie You’ve Got Mail? You know the part where Meg Ryan is walking through the downtown area in the fall with her pumpkin and just soaking up the city? Well that’s how I feel right now. I still cannot believe we bought a home in a walking downtown area. I’ve think we’ve met at lest 75% of our immediate neighbors already. The house is much smaller than we’re used to, the lot is small too, but I can walk to the bakery, to the farmer’s market to buy a pumpkin and get an entire garden section planted in a day. And you know what… I kind of like it. I don’t even mind all the people walking their dogs past my door {probably because there is no HOA}. Man oh man, what a difference that makes. Change is good. Front Door Bling I’ve Made So Far This Year to Compete with Carole: Late January : Valentine Heart Late February : Shamrock Late March : Giant Carrot May: White wave petunia hanging basket June/July: Tin Star and Flag Bunting August : Sunflower September: Indian corn and pumpkins ************** How about YOU? What are your goals for 2019? If you told us about them HERE, check in! We want to know how you are doing. Because seriously, it’s so much easier to get those goals checked off your list when you have people rooting for you! 🙂 Have a great day everyone, Mavis You can read more about my 22 goals for 2019 HERE. Have a Great Day! The post – Week 39 of 52 appeared first on One Hundred Dollars a Month. This content was original published at One Hundred Dollars a Month and is copyrighted material. If you are reading this on another website it is being published without consent.          Comments Mavis Congrats on the move! I've always thought that your's and ... by Judy You can get a pair of over-the-ear style wireless headphone, so ... by Crystal We had a beautiful quince bush in the front of a previous ... by E in Upstate NY I listen to audio books and podcasts while washing dishes. I ... by Mrs. M Thanks! That answers that…I may need to wait until some ... by Mama Cook Plus 5 more... Related Stories – Week 40 of 52 – Week 38 of 52 – Week 37 of 52 #12GoalsForTheNewYear

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/my-22-goals-for-2019

[asrarmukadamworld-blog]

Why graphic design?

Over the last 5 to 10 years technology has bought us to a stage where we are rapidly disconnecting with previously established ‘died in the wool’ ways of doing things and entering a realm where new ideas, ideals and formats proliferate and nothing replaces anything. You simply get more. Everything is fracturing all over the place — in politics, entertainment, the media… even in the creative industries. Particularly in Graphic Design.

Graphic Design might seem like a relatively young industry compared to say, banking or carpentry or whatever but it’s also become heavily reliant on technology and technology changes so rapidly these days that all constantly had to play catch up. Sure, there’s a massive dollop of craft involved but it was only a decade and a half ago that us designers were first discovering the Apple Mac and what it was capable of and now you look around and it seems frightfully easy for anyone to pick up a computer and start designing things for themselves. In many aspects, talent has become subservient to technology.

On the plus side this has freed up designers to expand upon their individual areas of interest.

Rick Poynor recently visited Melbourne to deliver a presentation on the subject of ‘Design Thinking’ and the need for designers to reconnect with an audience beyond ‘the client’. In many ways this fractured landscape offers opportunities for creatives to do this more effectively than ever before. This could mean that Graphic Design will need to become a part of the thing and not the thing itself.

In his book ‘Graphic Design: A User’s Manual’, Adrian Shaughnessy mentions that designers wear many hats from account handlers to debt collectors and more. Add to this curators, event organisers, illustrators, photographers, archivists, art directors, media commentators… The list now seems to go on and on and on. Look at creative agencies such as YCN or young creatives such as Kate Moross and our humble hosts its Nice That. They may be able to produce Graphic Design of an appropriately high calibre but that’s only really one segment of their kit of parts.

In a world growing steadily more interested in marketing, branding, crowdsourcing, ‘design thinking’, cheap typography and D.I.Y. solutions, many creative are finding/will find themselves morphing to new, multi-faceted roles. The role of Graphic Design may lose some prominence. Graphic Design may become more of a ‘boutique service’ offered to select clients rather than the all-encompassing visual glue it how been touted as for decades. One thing is for sure, it ain’t disappearing anytime soon though we might have to start question exactly what our relationship to Graphic Design is really about.

Well that’s my attempt at looking into the crystal ball. I dunno. Have I just spouted a pile of rubbish? What do you reckon the future holds for Graphic Design?

Michael Bojkowski is a designer and design commentator with a particular interest in editorial design. He has worked with clients as diverse as YCN, The Future Laboratory and Nick Bell Design. Michael also maintains the Linefeed blog (formerly known as Boicozine), runs his own experimental publishing venture known as Press Publish and currently writes for both Grafik and Gym Class magazines. Currently on sabbatical in Melbourne, Australia, he hopes to return to the U.K. sometime next year. 

The definition of the designer is becoming blurred. The accessibility of technology now means that anyone with a computer and the correct software can become a designer. This has both negative and positive effects: On one hand, poorly-considered, non-disciplined design is now being allowed to flow through into the public consciousness. On the other hand, we are seeing new, forward thinking, unrestricted creative thinking from those who are not restrained by traditional formalities.

It is my belief that craft allows technology to be exploited effectively. Therefore, the continuation of taught craft in our academic institutions is essential to sustaining graphic design as a profession.

I am a graphic design student at Central Saint Martins and this is something which I am very passionate about – so much so that I have chosen to write my dissertation on it.

the true profession of GD will continue to be valued by a few, and an even smaller paying few, but, as always judged by all. I personally love it, live it and breath it :)  As you do, strongly believe it will continue to evolve and grow (with technology). The art-form of GD will always remain independent from branding, art direction, crowdsourcing, strategy and so on. Though it is often bundled with these by the multi-faceted designers/studios you mention in your article—of which I confess, I am… yep that’s right. Balancing making a living with living, running a studio, and desperately trying to staying creative from client to client. It just aint easy, but loads of fun. Thanks for the midnight read. Catch you soon

Throughout my time this year and taking the time to breathe in how I’ve wanted to approach my own projects, I realise that this definition of Graphic Design cannot be so simplified to mean an approach to offering a service or a design solution with a relatively straight-forward outcome. Is Graphic Design purely just about its sum of parts containing imagery, photography, text and typography? We are still reading how great and grandeur the past of the legacy of Graphic Design is great. But I believe it should be savoir faire then being so nostalgic. I’m interested in the now, the daily life we live in now and what we can do. I also realise that why should we keep discussing this essential design area as a facet of its own. In some ways, peering through it makes it look like a ingenue and not as sophisticated as Industrial or Product Design. I think Graphic Design can be more relevant today, making it a part of my life as with everyone else but seeing it in a global context and that it can have and sustain a working relationship with other areas of design and non-design. Contemporary Fashion is made me see Graphic Design with purpose and has informed me much more.

Have you guys ever noticed that there is no more the figure of the “great graphic designer”? And that, at the same time, graphic design is everywhere? I think that graphic design in turning into something like a commodity. So, to claim back the position of the individual graphic designer would be just the same to claim back the position of, say, the “oil driller” or the “commercial jet pilot” individuals – even considering their important roles in the society. We’re not specials anymore – we’ve become an ordinary gear in the economy machine, where theoretical idealisms are worthless and vain. So, you guys would better stop complaining, getting to work, doing your jobs, making it worthy. And joining – and enjoying – the real struggle of the free economy. [Source] https://www.itsnicethat.com/articles/2091-why-graphic-design

Jaspal Khalsa - Graphic Designer in Navi Mumbai. I can help you for branding by our unique approach on design guarantees prosperity for your product. I want my clients to feel pampered beyond expectations.20 Satisfied Clients, 50 Finished Projects. Check Portfolio.

[retireearlyandtravel]

New Post has been published on https://www.retireearlyandtravel.com/ancestrydna/

AncestryDNA How I Discovered an Amazing New Family

AncestryDNA

Do you ever wonder where you came from? I mean beyond the stories told to you by relatives. Do you wonder where your ancestors were living 500 years ago? I became very curious after my parents died. I was the youngest of four children. My siblings and I were going through our parent’s house deciding who got what. Instead of arguing over china or crystal I had my eye on something else. There were a lot of really old photos and a bunch of papers written in  German that we found in my parent’s attic. I told my siblings that I would like those. No one else was interested, so they were all mine. Before this house was my parents, it was my grandparent’s home, so some of the papers and photos were very old.

My siblings and I in 1999

Finding Something that Peeked My Curiosity

I had some of the more interesting of the papers I found in the attic translated from old German to German and then to English. It is difficult to find someone who reads old German. Those papers turned out to be the emigration papers for my mom’s great-grandparents and their children. The papers gave the family permission to emigrate from Prussia (Germany) to North America. After finding these papers, I began a search for more information. In the 1990’s there wasn’t a lot of genealogy information online. I had to post questions to internet boards (sort of like an online classified) and hope that somewhere in Europe just the right person would see my post and answer. Well, it took a few years, but I finally got a reply from someone who knew of my family. He said that there were people with my mother’s maiden name living in town, and it was the town my family had emigrated from.

  Getting Help from a Friend I Met on the Internet

My contact in this small town talked to my distant relatives. After emailing my contact in Germany back and forth for a couple of years discussing genealogy and my family, we finally decided to visit Germany. My husband, son, daughter and I took this trip in 2006. We were able to meet with long lost cousins in Eastern Germany. I still had family with my grandfather’s surname living in the same house that my 9th great grandfather bought around 1520. This part of my family was very involved in the church. Most of them were priests and later pastors. Because the church kept such good records, we were able to find lots of information about them.

The house in eastern Germany that my family owned since the early 1500’s (circa 2006)

Inside the gates of the house (circa 2006)

A Visit to Germany

While we were in Germany we visited the Churches that they were pastors of.  We found most of their graves. They lived very close to Martin Luther (leader of the Reformation), in a neighboring town, and were followers of his. My great maternal grandmother was from the same area, and we were able to find the house she lived in as a child. We even found old paintings of my relatives stored away in one of the churches. The trip was amazing. My kids even found visiting cemeteries fascinating because they knew they were related to these German people.

One of the graveyards of my ancestors

Keith and our son bringing out one of the paintings of my ancestor in church storage

My German cousins poising in front of paintings of our distant grandfathers.

These church records contained handwriting of my distant grandfathers

We tried to find information about my dad’s family, but to this day we have not found anything. My maiden name was Radermacher (which means wheel maker in German). What we knew of my dad’s side of the family was that my grandfather’s family came from Germany and my Grandmother immigrated to the US when she was 13 from Austria. This German/Austrian ancestry is important to know because of what I’m about to tell you.

The Best Christmas Present

Fast forward to 2014. My husband is trying to think of a good Christmas present for me when he sees an ad for an AncestryDNA kit. He thought wow, Tina would love this. It will show her exactly how much of her DNA is what ethnicity. He was right, I loved the DNA idea, and I sent in my sample a few days after Christmas. We were expecting my results to show that I am 90% German or Eastern/Western European.

It’s now February, and we are sitting on a plane in Los Angeles waiting to depart for a trip to Guatemala. My husband’s phone alerted him that he got an email. He quickly looks at the sender and sees one is from Ancestry. He looked at the email and it was my DNA results. Keith read the email.  He said,  “this is weird; you are more Greek or Italian than anything else”. Of course, I was puzzled.

Before the plane took off, I called my brother. He and I are the only remaining siblings alive out of my parents and four children. I told him my results and asked if we bought a kit right now and had it sent overnight to him would he do the test so we can see he’s the same? He said sure. We sent him the test, he took it, sent it back to AncestryDNA, and then we waited.

My Brothers Results

After about seven weeks, the results were in. My husband and I looked at them together. My brother was 88% Eastern/Western European. He had no Greek or Italian, but more importantly, he did not share enough DNA with me to be my full brother. I was shocked. All kinds of things started going through my mind. My oldest sister was 19 when I was born, so I wondered if I was hers and my mom and dad raised me as their own. My brother swore this was not the case as he was 16 when I was born. He saw my mom pregnant and remembers the day she went to the hospital to have me.

    At the time a friend of mine’s husband was the head geneticist at UCLA. I asked him to look at our results. He said that we shared one parent but did not share the same two parents. My mom was my mom. That left my dad. No one in my living family knew anything about this, so I had no leads. For the next two-plus years, I searched for who my dad might be, but I was unsuccessful. I wrote to the families of my mom’s friends, to find out what nationality they were in search of that one Italian or Greek. All of this lead nowhere!

The Email That Would Be the Start of Something Great

Then last year my husband logged into our Ancestry account and found an email waiting for me. Emails are not unusual. Because we have such a large family tree publically posted, we get contacted by distant relatives when they see we are a match. However, this email was different. It wasn’t a family tree match but rather a DNA match. As soon as I looked at the DNA match, I knew this was big. The person that wrote me was Cheryl. We shared the same amount of DNA on the same number of DNA segments as my brother and me.

First Communication

When you email someone on Ancestry, they do not get your personal information, unless you give it to them. In my first reply to Cheryl, I gave her my email address and hoped she would email me instead of messaging through Ancestry. I didn’t want to scare her and have her stop communicating with me which is why I wanted her email. She did email me back. It took a lot emailing back and forth before I showed her my brother’s DNA results next to hers. At first, she thought we were first cousins. She had done her DNA looking for her grandfather’s family since she never met him and did not know who he was. As soon as she saw the results, she said are you telling me you think we are sisters?

  Cheryl and I were/are the same age. She also had an older brother and an older sister. She broke the news to them. They were very receptive. The AncestryDNA test is not a legal paternity test so just to be 100% sure, we decided to submit our DNA to a lab that could show if we all shared the same father. Again, there was waiting, almost two agonizing weeks. When the results came in, they verified the AncestryDNA findings. Our family instantly doubled. I had two new sisters, one brother, ten nieces, and nephews and a great-nephew. I knew for sure the identity of my biological dad.

My biological father

Putting the Pieces Together

It took a while to put the pieces together on how my mother and biological father knew each other. Their family moved around a lot. But when I was conceived, they lived in the same small town my family lived. Their father was 24, and my mom was 40. My mom owned a restaurant that my new family always thought their grandmother owned. So far, record searching does not show they ever owned or worked at the restaurant. After seeing a picture of my biological father, my brother thinks he knew him but does not remember him working at the restaurant. The oldest two new siblings remember going to this small restaurant often with their dad. My mother’s name was Caroline.

My new siblings said there was always a rumor in their family that their dad’s step-brother had got a girl in town named Carol, pregnant but that she was married. We now realize it was a made up story because my biological father was also married when I was conceived. Therefore the step-brother was helping cover up what would have been an extramarital affair.

My New Siblings Lived in Several Areas Growing Up

My new siblings lived in several states when they were young, but as the younger two entered high school, the family decided to settle down permanently. They chose a neighboring town to mine. They moved back to Michigan where they would be closer to their mom’s side of the family.  My siblings always wondered why they did not go back to my hometown since their parents met and married when living there. We assume that he wanted to make sure the two families did not run into each other.

My biological dad died at age 51 of cancer. I would have been 27. My mother died the following year of heart disease. I would have no idea if my mother knew my biological dad had moved back to the area let alone that he was sick. At the time he was struggling with cancer my mom was struggling with emphysema and heart disease.

The Big Day

When we found out about my new siblings, my husband and I were scheduled to be in the US for three weeks, visiting four states. One of my new sisters still lives in the area where they grew up. Keith and I would be visiting Keith’s dad and my brother both of whom live within 25 minutes of my new sister. We were scheduled very tight trying to see all of our existing family, but we managed to free an afternoon to meet all my new family in person.

On May 2017 I met my new brother and two sisters along with a lot of my nieces and nephews for the first time in person. My new found siblings and their kids have always been very close, so it was easy for them to get the family together in one place on short notice. My sister Cheryl had made me a photo album covering the 56 years I had missed out on. The title is Life’s Little Surprises. My sister Susan got me a flower arrangement that said, “It’s a girl.”  We talked about their childhood, and they told me about my dad. My brother Freeland was worried about what kind of person I would be.  In minutes those worries were gone.  It was an emotional day and a far too short of a visit.

The Wonders of Social Media

Many of my nieces and nephews reached out to me through Messenger as soon as they got the news from their moms that they had another aunt. It is one thing to find a new family but quite another to find one that is so close to each other. I am so blessed to have found such a wonderful family.

Tina playing with her new great nephew

Before meeting my siblings in person, I had seen many pictures of them and their families that they sent me. They also sent me numerous pictures of my dad. I did not think I looked like my new siblings until we took this picture in my sister Sue’s backyard. When we went back inside the house to look at the picture I was shocked at the resemblance. I looked more like them then I did in the family I grew up with.

My first picture with my new siblings

The family I grew up in (circa 1972)

This is Not Unusual

When I called Ancestry to ask questions about Cheryl’s and my results, they said that this happens more than you think. If my dad knew he was not my father, he accepted it and raised me as his own. He always showed me, love. My brother said he always thought I was dad’s favorite. He was there to play with me and to care for me, so he was my dad. Finding my biological dad does not replace my dad or make him any less important. I just know now that I had two dads. Finding out that I have three more siblings is awesome. We all wish we had known each other a lot sooner, but this timing might have been for the best. They do not believe their mother ever knew about me.

In the two-plus years, it took to find my siblings; AncestryDNA results got more detailed. I now know that I am Italian, specifically from Sicily and Southern Italy.

My new siblings and I have two dreams. The first is to find our paternal, fathers’ family. Our father’s mother never married our father’s dad and never told our dad his fathers name, but she did give my sisters a name before she died. That name has not appeared yet on any DNA matches, but we are always watching. Our second dream is to visit Southern Italy and Sicily together. Unique memories that we can make together and will last forever!

Sicily

  A Dream, to Travel to my New Found Heritage

In the beginning, AncestryDNA led me to visit Eastern Germany to explore my roots, then I took an AncestryDNA test and now I want to visit Sicily and Southern Italy. With AncestryDNA able to trace your origins to 350 regions around the world – 5x more regions than other DNA tests – it lets you discover your ethnic origins, and can inspire you to visit the countries of your ancestors for a more meaningful, authentic travel experience. The next trip you take can be more than a destination – it will be to explore your history.

Do you have a similar story? Have you done your AncestryDNA and found out something you were not expecting. I would truly love to hear your story. Please use the comment section below to tell me.

There is a great AncestryDNA promotion that is running now through April 29th. You can purchase a DNA test for only $59 (regularly $99) by clicking here. This promotion is restricted only to the U.S.

(This post was produced in part as an affiliate partnership with Ancestry)