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hannibals-favourite-meal · 2 years ago

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Sunshine and Flowers

Logan Howlett x plus size reader

Logan has had a great many loves in his long life and he’s over it. He doesn’t want to lose anyone else yet somehow, the annoying and very much younger art teacher at Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters, wormed her way into his heart.

Warnings: grumpy and sunshine, jealousy, Logan is a dick but we been knew, reader is kind of oblivious and touch starved, age-gap (reader is mid 20s and Logan is old as shit), Logan POV, bit of a slow burn, reader and Logan are Keely and Roy coded

WC: 3.8k

Minors DNI

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

“Yo Logan!” The seemingly ever present pounding in the older mutant’s temples suddenly got worse, the band around his forehead tightening as the young woman cheerfully skipped up to him without a care in the world. Her arm looped through his own, tucking herself into his side, like she always did.

“What d’ya want?” He grumbled. It was easier to just ask her outright than stay silent and her chatter away at him for an hour before she finally got to her point. Y/N beamed up at him, her e/c eyes sparkling. “Wellllll… I was wondering if you wanted to come with me on a little field trip with the kids! I was thinking of bringing them to the MET, you know because art.” She waved her right hand around as if to emphasise her point.

“No.” Logan said firmly.

“Aw please! Please Logan! Please! Please! Please!” He could practically feel his blood pressure rising as Y/N pleaded with him, pulling on his arm, acting like a complete child. Dear god, what had he done to deserve this?

With the huge throngs of students constantly being enrolled in the school, Charles had come up with the bright idea to introduce an art program to the children as a way of “expressing their creativity”. But what that actually meant was hiring a new teacher specifically for this class since no adult in the school had even an ounce of artistic talent.

And so six months ago, Y/N Y/L/N, a recent college graduate, strolled into the mansion and never left. Her gift to generate small stars gave her the remarkable ability to light her classroom in any way she wished, allowing her students the perfect lighting to create absolute masterpieces. And like her gift, she herself was a big ball of endless energy that constantly bounced around, latching onto whoever she came across, and more often than not, that person was Logan.

For some inexplicable reason, she gravitated to him, always seeking his approval, trying to get him to engage in activities with their students, among many many other things that made the older man truly resent when the final bell of the school day rang and she would float into his classroom, ranting about something or another. The only way he could get her to stop was by distracting her, usually by shoving her in the general direction of her best friend, Alex Summers.

But Havok was on a road trip with Sean and Peter for the next month, so he had been abandoned. Logan sighed as her grating voice made his sensitive ears ring, and the overpowering smell of her flowery perfume was a downright assault on his senses. “Logan, come on! It’ll be soooooo much fun! I’ll even buy you lunch after!”

While the temptation of free food was great, Logan knew it wouldn’t be worth spending the entire day with Y/N glued to his side, forcing him to do whatever she wanted. Taking a deep breath, prepared to let her down as gently as he could, given that his patience was hanging on by a thread, he would probably be more rude than he wanted to be, when he paused, really taking in the young woman.

“Is that my shirt?” He drawled, his dark eyes flicking over her plump body. She was wearing one of her typical outfits, white converse splashed with paint, shorts that very well could be called Daisy dukes, they were that short, with little flowers embroidered on them. Her chubby thighs almost entirely on view with one of his favourite red plaids on top of a black tank top instead of her usual blouse, making her sizeable cleavage pop. Y/N looked away bashfully.

“Yeah, I um found it in the movie room and it looked so warm so I took it and it’s super comfy like seriously how do you get your shirts so soft it’s really weird but they always smell like cigars so I guess that’s the downside. That’s not to say you smell bad! I’m just saying that it’s like your trademark-“

There she went again. “It’s fine kid, just wash it before you give it back.”

“What about the MET!” She called after him.

“Maybe.” He grumbled and with that he walked away, be-lining for the kitchen where he stashed his Vodka, losing her in the sea of students just getting out of class.

“Now, for today’s class, we’re going to go over some art history!” A collective groan resonated through the room but Y/N’s bright smile never faltered, it actually got bigger as she looked over her small group of students sitting around the art-filled room. “I know, I know but this stuff is important! Art plays such a big role in human evolution. Actually, the argument can be made that our ability to create art is what truly sets us apart from other animal species-“

There was no denying that Miss Y/L/N’s class was a favourite among the young mutants. Her rants not only served to brighten up their day but they also prevented her from giving out any actual work. It especially helped when most of them came from Logan’s class the period before. He was quite well known to be, well there’s no delicate way to put this, a hard ass.

So when, during this spring afternoon, with just a month left before summer break, Logan strode into the art class, his heavy boots thundering loudly against the hardwood floors, everyone was shocked. Y/N was pacing the room now, well and truly absorbed in her own thoughts, which became an impassioned speech as soon as the words formed in her mind. Logan cleared his throat as he leaned against the door jam, his jaw cleaned tightly when she didn’t answer or look at him.

The collection of children were now starting to get nervous as the seconds ticked by, Logan’s eyes getting steadily darker with anger, the muscle in his lower jaw working over under his mutton chops. They could all see his famous tempter growing and none of them wanted to be on the receiving end. “Um Miss?” A young girl spoke up, trying to break her train of thought. But nope, that couldn’t stop her.

Logan was getting fed up now. How in the hell did these kids even learn anything with the way she was carrying on? “Kid.” He growled, immediately making the entire class freeze, including the young teacher.

“Oh Logan! Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” She laughed nervously, pulling on the edge of her sheer pink sleeve. He noted she was wearing a dress today, it was frilly and absolutely drowning in flower print, with translucent sleeves that went all the way down to her wrists.

“Right, Wheels needs us in his office. Now.” He pressed as she opened her mouth to point out she was in the middle of a lecture. Y/N nodded then addressed the class. “All right, students. I guess you’re getting out early today. No homework!” She was quick to jog out of the room before the kids were able to leave their seats, effectively avoiding the clambering mass of them trying to practically sprint out.

Her smaller hand easily slipped into Logan’s bigger one, intertwining their fingers as her left hand came up to rest on his exposed forearm. He felt the cool of her metal rings against his skin. Unconsciously, he noted that he had never seen her wear any kind of jewellery before. “Did Charles say what he wanted?” Her eyes caught his brown ones, falling into step with the older mutant through the quiet halls. Logan just shrugged, fishing a half used cigar from his breast pocket and sticking the thoroughly chewed end in his mouth, a sharp canine slicing into it.

“Hmm.” She hummed, her gaze shifting down to her feet, trusting Logan to guide them to the headmaster’s office. “Do you think it’s a mission?”

“He doesn’t send you on missions.” Logan said firmly.

“Yeah I know but it could be! Stranger things have happened.”

“Like what?” He humoured her.

“How about Peter actually scoring a date~” She teased, making the Wolverine’s lip turn up briefly in a smile then dropped again into a frown before she could see.

“You do have a point.” He conceded. They rounded the last corner and came to a stop outside the solid door of Charles’ office. Logan went to knock, a muffled ‘please come in’ sounded before his permanently bruised knuckles could meet the stained wood.

Charles sat behind his grand desk, glasses perched on the end of his nose as he looked over a mountain of paperwork that gave Y/N a headache just from looking at it. She pulled her hand from Logan’s and bounced over to one of the two chairs in front of the headmaster, immediately making herself comfortable.

Clasping her hands on her lap with her back up straight, Y/N focused on the older mutant as he took off his reading glasses and laid them on what looked to be his grade book. Logan himself leaned against the doorjamb, much like he did in the young woman’s classroom, crossing his muscular arms over his broad chest.

Charles sighed deeply as he looked at his teachers. “There really is no way to say this delicately so I suppose I’ll just say it: Erik’s come home.” Logan’s entire body seized with an emotion akin to fear.

“Fuck.” He snarled. But Y/N had an entirely different reaction. Her face visibly lit up but not with excitement but instead with the joy of someone who didn’t have to lie anymore. Charles raised an eyebrow at the young woman, prompting her to explain herself.

“He slept in my room last night, there was no other free space.” She said casually as if she hadn’t just dropped the bomb that she spent the night with a dangerous mutant who hadn’t hesitated to kill before. “Don’t worry! I was being safe. He slept on my couch.”

“Like that makes this whole thing any better.” Logan muttered under his breath but only Charles heard him. The telepath gave him a strange but knowing look before turning back to the young art teacher.

Her smile wavered only for a moment before returning with full force. “He was super nice to me! He even picked out my jewellery today.” She flashed her hands towards the headmaster, showing off the various silver rings that adorned her fingers. Logan huffed at her naivety but Charles had an entirely different reaction. He took her hands into his own, delicately tracing the metal with a soft touch.

“Erik did a good job, they look wonderful. But Y/N, I still want you to be wary. Erik can be very volatile and unpredictable and his abilities far outmatch your own. Just be careful.” She gave a firm nod. “Although, I believe you could do him some kind of good to be around someone who finds him tolerable.” Charles gave a not so subtle glance toward the Wolverine who scoffed and rolled his eyes.

An awkward and tense silence fell over the trio. Y/N cleared her throat, tugging on the hem of her dress which lay only an inch above her knees. “Is that all you wanted to tell us?”

“Well, I do need to speak to you about this art trip you have planned. Logan, you’re welcome to stay, you might find this information useful.”

“Fuck no, I have better things to do with my time.” He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. She visibly flinched at his words and her smile became so fake it made him ache. Charles’s own expression fell as he sat back in his high-back chair.

“Then if you’ll please excuse us, we have some things to discuss.” He said sternly, quite obviously not pleased with Logan’s rudeness. “Close the door on your way out.”

As the door swung shut behind him, Logan caught the smallest whimper escaping her lips and the muffled words of his old friend consoling her.

The manor was almost dead silent as Logan emerged from the cave that was his room. There were no sounds of footsteps (save for his own), or screaming or chatter, there wasn’t even the ever present clatter of utensils from the kitchen.

Curiously, he wandered through the empty halls, occasionally glancing into the empty rooms he passed. Just as his dark brows began to furrow with concern, Ororo turned the corner, nose buried in a book. “Hey Storm.” Her dark eyes met his own.

“Logan?” She replied with a curious head tilt before returning to her book. Logan huffed through his nose.

“Where is everyone?” She gave him a strange look and glanced over her shoulder as if the answer to his question was just behind her. The young mutant snapped her book shut.

“At the MET? You know the big field trip that Y/N organised. I thought you were going with them. She has been talking about it for weeks.” Logan’s frown deepened. That was today? Storm seemed to pause as she took in his stormy expression. “Oh, I guess you forgot. No wonder she was so upset when they left. I guess it’s a good thing Erik went with her then.”

Just then, noise exploded through the halls once more as dozens of feet stomped on the expensive hardwood. Ororo sighed heavily through her nose, upset at not being able to have a little more quiet to finish off her chapter. But Logan remained frozen in place, his veins filled with icy terror. “Repeat that last part?”

She glanced at him with a devastating side eye. “Evidently, Erik saw how upset she was this morning when you didn’t get on the bus so he decided to go with her to take care of the kids.” She shrugged and tucked the leather-bound volume under her arm. “She looked like she was going to cry before he stepped up.”

Poison curled in his gut but he quickly stamped it down. Just then, kids and teens stampeded around the corner, hyped up on what Logan guessed to be sugar and excitement. And right smack dab in the middle was Magneto, his head thrown back in laughter, the corded muscles in his neck and shoulders rippling with the movement. His right arm was bent allowing for the soft hand of the younger woman to rest on his forearm. Y/N was smiling shyly at him, not used to the undivided attention he was giving her.

As they passed him, Logan caught her eye. She barely even gave him a glance but he saw the sadness deep within those e/cs and he knew it was because of him. She quickly looked away, drawing her gaze back to the dangerous mutant who was speaking once more, his laughter fading. But Logan couldn’t hear what he was saying over the roaring in his ears.

He watched them until they disappeared into one of the many living rooms of the manor. “At least he got her smiling again.” He barely registered Ororo’s words before she too left him.

This went on for weeks. It seemed that everywhere he turned, Logan would see the unlikely pair together. Whether that be baking in the middle of the night, reading quietly in the library, working on lesson plans, he even saw them training together!

He watched them from afar as they grew closer and her pull away from himself until one day he was walking out of his classroom after a long day. “Wait up!” Unconsciously, Logan slowed his pace , a smile crawling upon his face. He expected the familiar weight of her touch against his arm, the smell of her floral perfume and the bright sound of her laughter but when a blur raced by him, his heart dropped.

Y/N flung herself at Erik who was just a few paces in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug too tight to be just friendly. He caught her easily, his arms winding around her thick waist and tugged her closer.

Logan forced himself to turn away, missing the sad look she cast him, heartbreak clear in her eyes.

The end-of-school party was alive with laughter and music. Lights floated over the small dance floor that had been assembled in the gardens. Professors mingled on the wooden stage, swaying to the smooth acoustic guitar Kurt was strumming. But Logan’s attention was trapped on the centre of the crowd where a small circle of space had been formed and trying as hard as he might, he couldn’t look away.

Y/N twirled in time with the music, her eyes shut as she let it wash over her. Her skin glowed in the golden sunset, the sweat along her brow sparkled like glitter as she moved. Pale green tulle embroidered with dozens of sunflowers floated around her, her dress fluttering in the light breeze. She was absolutely breath-taking. No weight rested on her shoulders nor anxiety in her face. She was serene, she was like a goddess in human form, dancing and delighting with mere mortals.

How badly he wanted to stride across the gardens and take her into his arms, to feel her curves beneath his palms as they moved together. Logan shook himself from those thoughts and took another sip of whiskey. The alcohol burned as it slid down his throat but that was nothing compared to the burning rage in his stomach as another man approached her.

Erik, dressed in a matching dark green suit, caught her mid-twirl, his left hand holding her hips in place as he captured her left hand in his right. She fell easily into step with him, her once fluid movements becoming a slow waltz.

Logan was so consumed in his anger that he hadn’t noticed another person walking to his side until they were right next to him.

“Why are you so worked up about this? You’ve made it very clear that you can barely even tolerate her.” Logan’s scowl deepened, his eyes growing even darker with rage as Hank spoke to him. “I mean even I’ve heard about the things you’ve said to her and I barely leave the lab.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Beast.” He didn’t bother to hide the way he was glaring at the pair. Almost as if in slow motion, Erik pressed his lips to her ear, speaking in a whisper so quiet, even Logan’s powerful hearing couldn’t pick it up. She pulled away from him for just a moment and hope bloomed in his chest. But it quickly died as she nodded in response.

Erik took her hand, their fingers intertwining as he led her away. Logan slammed his now empty glass down on the temporary bar behind him and stormed off towards the couple. The music faded away as he ran.

Her laugh carried on the breeze, the skirt of her dress fluttering behind her. Logan ran faster, now regretting the tight suit pants and button-up he donned for the evening as they got steadily further and further away.

Without thinking, he made a sharp left, launching himself over the perfectly pruned flower beds Charles loved so much and tore through the gardens. Then suddenly, she was within sight. One heeled foot was over the threshold but he still had a chance.

With a final burst of speed he grabbed Y/N’s wrist before she could enter the manor, forcing her to let go of the other man. “Don’t go with him. Please.”

“Logan, what are you doing?”

“I can’t let you go with him. Y/N, I-“ He swallowed harshly, his grip tightening ever-so-slightly. Y/N looked over her shoulder to the other mutant only to find him gone. “Fuck why can’t I just say it.”

Her body was fully turned to him now. “Say what?”

Taking in a deep breath, he looked into her eyes. “I love you.” The slap came out of nowhere, knocking the breath from his lungs. Y/N’s jaw was dropped in shock as if she didn’t see it coming either even though it was her hand that now burned with the sting of meeting his unshaven cheek.

“Let me go, who-who put you up to this?” She attempted to pull away from his hold but he wouldn’t let her go.

“Y/N-“ He started but was quickly interrupted when she spoke again, tears spilling down her full cheeks and voice wavering.

“No. You can’t feel that towards me, you barely even like me. You’ve made that very clear over the past couple weeks, no the past year! You brush me off! You make me feel like an idiot! You ignored my blatantly obvious feelings for months and now you say something?!”

“You feel the same?” He asked in disbelief.

“Of course I do! That’s why I asked you to go to the MET with me. I was gonna bring you to the American wing where all the native art was because I know you love it so much and then I was going to tell you. But then you were just so awful to me when Erik got here and you forgot about the trip!” Once again, she tried to break his grip but Logan instead tugged her back and right into his broad chest.

With a massive paw, he cupped her soft jaw, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Can you just let me explain?” Her bottom lip popped out in a pout but she didn’t object. “I have lost so much, too much. Every woman I have ever loved has died because I loved them. And you, you are so young and so beautiful and way too kind for your own good. I love you more than anyone else and I guess that scared me. I pushed you away. But I can’t do it anymore, I can’t watch you fall for someone else.”

“Goddamnit.” She growled before her arms shot out and wrapped around the back of his neck so she could yank his face down to her level, and then she kissed him.

Stars burst around them like little fireworks as he pulled her closer by the small of her back. Her hands travelled from his neck downwards so her fingers could curl into his shirt like she was terrified that this was all just some dream.

“You do anything even remotely close to that whole fiasco again and I will let Erik do whatever he wants to you.” She murmured against his lips.

“Just kiss me again, sunshine.” And she did.

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venusandsaturnsrings · 1 year ago

Note

i remember reading this childe x reader fanfic ages ago where reader gets caught eavesdropping and then gets stuck under a bed cause childe made it collapse and I woke up with a revelation..fox taru seeing reader stuck and just pawing at her trying to get her out so he can be a good boy and get rewards (aka pussy) but then he realises that he can just take the reward now and later <33

I also cannot find the fanfic anymore :((

i WISH ik which fic ur talking abt but i don’t sawry :(( if anyone does pls drop a link for me and this anon!! anyways DELICIOUS IDEA!! he’s got some self restraint but but but… circumstantial… he could do it…

he hears your yelp and comes running!! his owners danger is also his danger plus he’s eager to help whenever he can. prior to living with you, he was incredibly self sufficient so he has the occasional fit of guilt for not being able to provide for you the same way. he likes taking care of you!! so, when the opportunity presents itself, he’ll be stepping up with a wagging tail.

a bit of foxtaru background, he grew up with many siblings and not in the best financial situation. he’s used to giving up his own meals or scrounging around for something, anything, that could help. foxtaru wasn’t exactly a wild animal, he was more of a street fox. there was a roof over his head but not by much. the caretaking instinct runs deep inside of him after so many years of putting his needs aside in favour of others. to be the one getting taken care of is brand new to him so he often feels as though he isn’t doing enough for you even though he very much is. consequently, should you ever call for his assistance, he’ll be by your side before you’ve even finished saying his name.

bringing us to the current predicament, he’s by your… back side in an instant, asking a million questions to make sure you’re okay. you assure that your fine save for maybe a bruise or two but you’d really like to not be stuck under a bed frame right now. his hands roam around your body for a couple seconds while he thinks about the best approach that won’t leave any other part of you squished but then he notices just how you’re positioned… upper half stuck and on your knees, he could easily mount you from behind. his cock twitches at just the thought and he shakes his head vigorously in attempt to forget it but he just can’t. you’re not in any pain so it wouldn’t be wrong for him to just slip himself in for a moment, would it? he’s got a moral dilemma on his hands. foxtaru so badly wants to help you but now he’s throbbing in his pants and you’re still wiggling a bit as if begging him to breed you full. his hands linger on your ass for a couple seconds longer before he’s throwing caution to the wind and slipping both your shorts and panties down. he hears your surprised squeak but is already pulling out his flushed dick and humping against your cunt that’s squished perfectly between your thighs.

if you’re upset or not is up to you!! you’re getting fucked either way. <3

#cw: dubcon #cw: noncon #he’s so :(((#good boy but he’s got needs yknow!!#foxtaru #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin smut #chit chats

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timidpumpkin · 1 year ago

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Can I get a reaction when reader want to go to carnival or other fun places and then they got lost and ended up at their own home

Is the reader going to escape or go back to their daddies TYSM🤗

Hiiii🥰🥰🥰💜💜💜. I loved this idea sooo much and it really helped get me out of the writer's block funk I was in! It’s a litttle bit different from what you asked so I hope that��s okay and you still like it!! Thank you so so much, I loved writing this!!~~~~~💖💖💖💖💖

(pictures are not my own)

Helpless (Stucky x reader)

Pairing: Dark!Stucky x f!reader

Warnings/tags: Dark!Stucky, Daddy!Stucky, Female reader, stockholm syndrome, forced age regression, mention of previous kidnapping, reader gets lost, mild injury to reader, Implied reader has small hands in comparison because Stucky is gigantic (fact), Angst, Fluff, Comfort. Reader baby-talks as well, Lots o' cute nicknames (as usual).

Word count: 4.1k

Tagging a few of the absolutely lovely people who have supported me this whole time. I love you and appreciate you all more than i can express. @haleyhunwritess @ppatricia34me @hoplessfussybambi @canyonmooncreations @sapphyslittlenook

P.S. i'm gonna start a tag list so lemme know if you wanna be added <3

It was getting a bit cooler now.

The previously bright day had been overtaken by navy shadows that bring nippy wisps of air that catch on your exposed arms, sending chills throughout you.

“I told you we should have used the long-sleeved one,” Steve remarks to Bucky as he watches you make a tiny shiver.

Bucky rolls his eyes at him, knowing you were the one who insisted on this specific onesie when he dressed you this afternoon. With an eager look on your face, you held it up to him, proudly showing him how it would match perfectly with some leg warmers you found in your drawer. He couldn’t argue with that, not when your giddy smile and sweet eyes looked at him while holding it up as high as you could for him.

“Come here babydoll,” Bucky says, squatting down a bit to get closer to your level.

You don't hear him for a second. Not even your numbed fingertips could distract you from the bright lights that reflect off your eyes. You’ve been watching the multicolored Ferris wheel since you got here. You wanted to go on it so bad.

Thus far, you’ve only been allowed to play the ground games. Though, you can’t complain too much now that you’ve collected quite a load of new stuffies to bring home. You’d like to think yourself pretty talented at these games–maybe too talented.

You’ve all but completely missed the harsh glares Bucky gives the poor workers when they tell you “awh too bad” when you miss the target, but then proceed to hand you whichever stuffed animal or toy you’d been wanting anyway. You’d turn around to your daddies, excitingly showing them your prize and proudly exclaiming “I won! I won!” and Bucky would always tell you how good of a job you did every time.

“Babydoll?” Bucky calls again, bringing you back to reality, his voice sweet, as if he’s teasing you a bit, knowing how much you've enjoyed this outing.

It was a tough call. Bringing you here. They knew how much you wanted to go. Ever since Peter babbled on and on about his trip to the carnival at his birthday party a few months ago, you’ve been begging them ever since. It’s not that they didn't want to take you. It could never be that. They just weren’t sure if it would be safe…

“There’s all kinds of creeps at those things!” Steve argues to Bucky, turning around as if that’s the last word and final say about it.

“I know. I know. But…she really wants to go. Plus…it’s not like we’ll ever let her out of our sight.” Bucky tries to reason, knowing it was something they would enjoy too. He has several fond memories of dragging Steve along with him through the bustling crowds of people just so he could play–and win–all the games he could, always asking Steve which prize he wanted before promising him he’d win it on the first try. Long before he knew of what true cruelties lived beyond their hometown, Bucky had already mastered the art of staring down unfair showmen who would poke fun at Steve’s then narrower figure.

Bucky just couldn’t help the almost giddy feeling he got just at the idea of holding you up high while you throw one of those balls with all your might to win some oversized stuffed animal that you’d undoubtedly insist on carrying on your own despite it being twice your height.

“We could even get one of those leash things,” he suggests, the idea popping into his mind like it’s the most brilliant thing, remembering how he showed the leashed froggy backpack he saw a while ago to Steve.

“It’s not just that,” Steve admits, brows furrowed as he sits on the edge of the bed, a sad and worried look overtaking his features that makes Bucky want to cave to anything he’d ask. “what if…” he trails off, not meeting Bucky’s gaze, “what if…she tries to run off?” he says quietly as if the fear itself would be brought to life if he spoke it too loudly.

It had been a long while since you tried to run away. All things considered, you seemed to be fully adjusted now. Every so often you would act up, but only in the way that all little girls would every now and then. They would always punish you appropriately, the way all good daddies would, reminding you that your life with them is your life, and that the horrid life you had before you was one never meant for a sweet innocent little girl like you.

They saved you. Steve routinely reminded you as such, but he didn’t have to. Bucky could tell you knew it was true now just by the way your bright eyes greeted them every morning. You knew that you were only good and safe with them to take care of you. His little girl couldn't even function without them now. It was exactly how it was supposed to be.

Bucky thinks for a moment, walking closer to Steve and kneeling on the floor in front of him. He pushes his way into him, maneuvering himself between Steve’s legs, and scoops his distressed hands into his, kissing them both before looking back up to Steve.

“She won’t.” he says, thick air questioning if it's true.

But his words say more than just that. The meaningful look in Bucky’s eyes tell Steve that no matter what, they’ll always have you. And that there was no way you could get away from them. Bucky knew it wasn't just the fear of physically losing you, but the fear of hurt that they would feel if you even tried.

Steve smiles a bit, his hands pulling Bucky up so that he’s now standing between his legs. He takes his hands, sliding them down from Bucky’s sides to his hips where they rest for the moment.

“Alright,” Steve sighs, looking up to Bucky, and pulling him a bit closer by his belt loops, “but any sign of trouble, we leave” Steve states, seriousness in his tone, the same kind of voice he uses when they’re on missions together.

“As if it would be any other way.” Bucky remarks, a smirk teasing his face as he dips his head down a bit to meet his lips with Steve’s. Steve sighs into his kiss, feeling the tension leaving his body just by Bucky’s stable words and secure presence.

“You think too much Rogers” Bucky teases after breaking from the kiss, thinking of all the times Steve would try to worm his way out of Bucky having to go on a mission with him in fear of his partner getting hurt–whether it be mentally or physically–Steve couldn't bare the thought of having to see Bucky like he was when he saw him for the first time in this new world.

“Can’t help it,” he breathes, Bucky never ceasing to take his breath away from his all-encompassing kisses. “I love you two more than anything,” he says earnestly as if it’s the only known fact in the universe.

“I know” Bucky smiles, “I know.”

“Oh-sorry Daddy!” you turn around, not meaning to ignore him. He holds out a sweatshirt and you instinctively hold up your arms so he can help put it on you. “Did you see the Ferris wheel Daddy?” you ask excitingly for the third time that night. Bucky chuckles a bit.

“Yes, I did,” he answers as if it’s the first he’s hearing about it while putting some soft-knitted mittens he had in his pocket on your hands. “M’not sure if Dada heard though,” he whispers to you, “maybe you should go tell him,” he informs you with a wink.

You hurriedly run over to Steve, jumping in place over and over again in front of him.

“Dada! Dada!” you take his hand and drag him a bit closer to where you had the best view of the colorful wheel. “Look!” you point and turn to him with an excited expression. “Can we go? Please? Pretty please? Please please please please-” you babble over and over again while continuing to jump up and down until you’ve all but run out of air in your lungs.

Steve looks at the contraption suspiciously, not trusting of the achy-sounding metal, and certainly not wanting his little girl near anything dangerous. He catches a glimpse of Bucky though, who’s contagiously smiling at you both, and remembers how often Bucky tells him not to worry so much.

“Okay-okay” Steve caves, unable to help but smile at your hyper manner right now. “Just this once, then we can go home and get you all nice and warm” he teasingly pinches at your cold cheeks.

“Yayayay!” you literally scream out, not even caring one bit that he said it was only once or that you had to go home after this. You were more than overjoyed that you got to ride it at all.

You start to make a sprint for it, only getting a few feet when resistance yanks you back, stopping you in your tracks and forcing you to steady yourself from the unexpected halt in momentum. Steve hadn’t even pulled on the backpack at all, it was just your pure running and his not moving an inch that caused you to ricochet back a bit. It’s a wonder you didn't fall flat on your behind.

“Heh-sorry!” you sheepishly laugh it off and wait patiently for them to catch up with you in basically two full steps for them.

As you make the short walk to the diminishing line in the late hour, Steve stops to tie his shoe, occupying both of his hands. You swing your arms aimlessly around waiting for him to finish while looking around.

As you mindlessly scan the area around you, your head does a double take as you recognize something.

No–someone.

You watch the stranger in confusion until the remnants of memory come back to you. It was a friend. But this person wasn’t Peter or Wanda…no. It was a friend from…before.

It disorients you, confusion washing over you and placing a pit in your stomach as your life before now was mostly forgotten and placed in a dusty cardboard box in the back of your mind’s vaults.

You watch as they walk away, towards where you know leads to the parking lot. And as if something takes over you, you start following their footsteps, unhinderedly drifting away from where Steve and Bucky are.

As you mindlessly follow, several feet behind, memories of your past life replay in your mind. They playback in black and white as if you’re watching one of those really old movies Steve likes to show you sometimes.

Then you hazily remember when they first found you…took you. Emotions of how scared and confused you were overtake your mind. You remember how they kept you in the house, never letting you leave.

“Sily girl, Dada can’t kidnap what’s already his,” Steve would tell you every time you’d harshly accuse him of kidnapping you.

“No one can protect you like we can,” Bucky would shush you after one of his punishments when you had pushed too hard. “Daddy only does this ‘cause he loves you.” he’d brush over your already bruising skin before carefully wiping away the tears that he had ignored for hours before.

Some nights you’d wake from nightmares, the specifics of it not mattering when Steve would find you crying into your stuffie. He never hesitated to pick you up and let you weep into his shoulder. Always whispering that you were okay, that you were safe.

“It’s okay angel, Dada’s here. You’re safe with me. I’ll always keep you safe. Always.” he’d repeat to you sincerely, holding onto you so tightly, as if the slightest loosening of his grip meant the very air around him would harm you.

To him though, it was true. Nothing could hurt you as long as you were in his arms. He’d carry you downstairs, where Bucky would tell you that nightmares didn’t matter “‘cause they aren’t real, doll…not like me and Dada.” he’d caress your warm cheeks while Steve fetched you some cold milk. They’d stay up with you as long as you needed, not even daring to shut an eye until you felt safe enough to sleep again.

And truthfully…you did. You did feel safe.

Maybe it was strange…the way you sought their comfort…their touch…their love, when you fought it in the beginning.

And you did fight…hard.

But every retaliation you made only ended in harsh grabs. Every effort to push them away resulted in lacerated reminders. Every moment you spent denying what they told you only yielded unrestrained punishments.

“My sweet girl…you’ll learn soon enough. Fighting us only makes it harder for you.” Steve would stroke your cheek through the bars of your crib. “All you have to do is listen to what we say. We know what’s best for you, angel.” he’d say before leaving you all tied up and alone for hours…sometimes days.

And then, after you’d more than cried yourself dry, throat scratchy from lack of hydration, he’d appear to you, asking if you’d learned your lesson. Your body would somehow discover new tears as you’d plead with him, promising him you’d be a good girl.

It’s then that he’d smile down at you so sweetly, lifting your limp body from its cushiony cage and shower you with endless affection.

He’d drown you with attention, never allowing you to lift a finger. He’d clean you up with your favorite scented soap, and after you were all done, Bucky would present you with a new set of soft clothes they bought just for you for taking your punishment so so well. They’d play your favorite shows and message every sore spot on your tired body after ordering from your favorite type of take out, something you never even told them. There wasn’t a moment where they weren’t touching you in some way, dousing you with sweet words about how much they loved their beautiful helpless little girl.

Helpless.

A word that reminds you exactly how you felt the very first time you bumped into Steve. All alone and scared, in a place that was dark and unfamiliar. You were lost then.

Just like you were right now.

You practically snap back into reality, the one where you’ve found yourself far away from the luminous festival lights and eerily close to where you can’t hear racket of activities anymore. It’s quiet, and you don’t even know where that funnily familiar person you were following went. Dread fills your insides as you realize you’re all alone.

You turn around hastily,

Anxiety fills your stomach as you rashly run in the opposite direction, before tripping on a wire that sends you spiraling down to the ground. You clumsily try to catch yourself, mittened hands harshly hitting the pavement, and asphalt slashes through your leggings, exposing the soft flesh of your knees to razor-sharp pain.

The sudden impact scares you, tears that were already forming from before start rushing out of your eyes.

Instinctually, you cry for Steve. For Dada. But when after too many moments you don’t feel their comfort, you look around and remember they’re not there. Your heart pounds as people rush by seemingly unaffected by your fallen form. You swirl your head around looking for them and are instead met with the haunting image of your green leash’s end, its ghostly emptiness scorning you from where it lays.

You cry harder, guilt and anguish now thumping alongside the throbbing in your chest that radiates to your body’s wounded limbs and you're pretty sure the only words coming out of your mouth are pathetic strings of ‘daddy’ and ‘dada.’

“There she is” Bucky spots you, both of them rushing over to you, distraught as they notice your scraped-up form.

“Dada!” you cry, leaping towards Steve and wrapping your arms around his neck as he picks you up. You helplessly weep, not just from the physical pain but from the emotional strain your misplaced detour took you on. You cry for leaving them. You can't tell if it was on purpose, but you feel awful from even remembering your past life and getting so close to being lost.

“Fuck, angel. What happened?” Steve breathes, taking the scuffed mittens off your hands to examine you closer.

“I-...I-” you try to speak through gasps of crying. They both question you on where you went and why you walked away. You barely manage to tell the story in broken sobs as to what truthfully happened. They listen intensively as you tearfully explain the details of what happened.

“But-but-I-I don’t wanna! Don’t wanna lose daddies! Don’t wanna! Didn’t mean t-to! I-I p-promise-I-I didn’t!” you stagger between breaths, gasping for air as your sob relentlessly in Steve’s arms.

“Shh, hey-hey” Bucky caresses your head, directing your attention to him. “It’s okay, doll. It’s okay. You’re okay.” he consoles. Steve gently wipes your tears at the same time and helps in calming you. You look at them both through blurry vision and continue weeping apologies to which they both remind you that it’s okay.

They were scared to death when they only took their eyes off you for a second and you were gone…but they found you, just like the first time.

They bring you over to sit down on a bench so they can better help console you and check your injuries. Steve rummages through the backpack he was carrying to get a first aid kit, and Bukcy watches through tortured eyes as you miserably cry.

“Doll.” he tenderly tilts your chin up to him. Tearful eyes red from crying look up to him. “Daddy’s proud of you.” he states, earnestly, stern and true. It makes you cry harder though, with confusion written all over your face. Proud? How could he be proud when you almost thought about running away?

“W-why?” you cry “I-I bad. bad!” you weep pitifully as you feel Steve cleaning your knees.

“No angel. You’re not bad.” Steve states, only confusing you more, you were sure both of them would be upset with you…considering they had every reason to.

“You know why?” Bucky asks, stroking your previously cold cheeks that have now been warmed by your tears. You shake your head no as more seemingly endless tears fall. “‘Cause you came back,” he says, wiping them as they come. “You came back to find us. That’s all that matters.” Bucky reassures you.

It hurts, both his and Steve’s worst fear almost coming to life.

But it didn't.

And truthfully, no one understood that more than Bucky. He knew more than anyone what it was like to get confused. To see or hear something otherwise mundane that whips you back to a place where you feel out of control.

The story you recanted to them rings all too familiar to him. It reminds him of shaky hands and paralyzed tongue that attempted to explain to Steve what it was like to not be in control of your own body. Your own actions.

It didn’t matter that you wandered away. It didn’t matter where your thoughts went. All that mattered was that you cried for them. All that mattered was your tiny hands curled around Steve's shirt so hard he’d thought you’d hurt your own fingers. All that mattered was the way you pulled Bucky closer while weeping his name as he comforted you.

All that mattered…was that you needed your Daddies.

They both reassure as such in ways they knew you'd understand. Besides, it only made sense that their little girl would get confused sometimes. That’s what daddies are for. And you came back because you knew they always made the best decisions for you. And even if on the off chance that you hadn't…that really wouldn’t have mattered anyway either. They would always find their little girl because you belong with them. Always and forever.

“Which ones do you want little princess?” Steve asks you, offering a variety of colorful bandages in front of you. Your hysteria and their sweet strong words have all but distracted you from the pain of the scratches lacerating your knees. You point to the ones you like and Steve praises you for making “such a good choice babygirl.”

Bucky holds you close and lets you bury your head in his chest while Steve carefully puts them on. You feel guilt again when you notice that the soft mittens now have little scuffs and holes in them that match your pants. But Steve reassures you that it’s ‘no biggie’ and that they can always get you another pair.

“How about Daddy and I get you some ice cream?” Steve suggests, knowing sweets was at least one way to cheer his sweet girl up.

You sniffle, looking to him at the suggestion.

“Ice cweam?” you say with a small voice “I-I wike ice cweam” you say softly, not meaning to slur your words. But you never did anyway, it always just happened beyond your control.

“I think that sounds perfect, huh doll?” Bucky says lightheartedly and sweetly while picking you up from the bench and placing you in Steve's arms.

“Wif sprinkles toos?” you ask, rubbing your sore eyes.

“All the sprinkles for my sweet little girl” Steve smiles at you while playfully poking at your side making you giggle a bit.

The cold dessert cools your hot throat and brings a smile back to your face. Of course, what really made you happy was knowing your daddies weren’t upset with you, and even more importantly, that you were never going to lose them.

“Hey what’s that on Dada’s face?” Bucky points directly to Steve, making you turn to examine it closely as you're still in his arms. It gives Bucky the opportunity to steal a lick from your ice cream.

“Hey!” you laugh turning back to Bucky’s not-so-secret move when you realize there was nothing amiss on your Dada’s face.

“What?” he puts his hands and shoulders up in a shrug of confusion while looking around and feigning confusion. You giggle more as obvious signs of ice cream are on the tip of his nose.

“Looks like daddy’s the one with something on his face” Steve teases, and you laugh with them while they let you finish your little treat.

“You still wanna go up on the Ferris wheel babygirl?” Steve asks after wiping your hands clean from any sticky residue. You look up to him with awe and shock, not expecting him to still offer it.

“Really?” you question with a hopeful but weary look on your face from not being sure of why you deserve it. Steve nods at you and tells you yes. Maybe he was skeptical before, but nothing was better than seeing his little girl's face light up in a smile.

Plus, Steve knew you were their little girl. More than that, he knew that you knew. In your heart, you came back to them. You needed them. And that’s all Steve could ever want.

You’re squeezed between your two daddies as the wheel makes its way up to the top. They watch as you look in awe of how tiny everything looks from up above. This must be what it's like for your daddies to see all the time. You feel as though you’re at the tippity top of the wheel forever. You don’t mind as it’s beautiful and quiet up there with the only people in the world you wanted to be with. You tiredly lay your head against Steve's arm, signaling to him that you’ll likely sleep the whole drive home.

“I love you,” you say contently, and they know you say it for both of them.

“We love you too angel. So much,” Steve tells you, smiling down at his sleepy little girl, and looking up to see Bucky’s lightened up face too.

He takes it all in, remembering the times when just he and Bucky would go out to these things–or really–when Bukcy would drag him to the carnivals. He knew how much Bucky loved this. He knew how much you loved this. And he loved it too. He loved you both, and that was all he needed.

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gretavanmoon · 4 months ago

Text

A Perfect Ten - Part 1

Josh x female reader - FWB

8.4k words

+ So this story started out as part of the Fidelity Series, but after a few asks for a part two, I figured why not, let's rebrand it a little bit ;) Story loosely based off of "Finish What Ya Started" by Van Halen

+ After befriending your coworker Josh at your new workplace, the both of you realize you need each other in more ways than one. Things might get a little cloudy as an ongoing judge of actions takes place, leaving the both of you wrapped up in a back and forth neither of you saw coming.

Warnings: Smoking, Drinking, Cursing, Drug Use, Mention of Breakups and Heartbreak, Sadness. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Dirty Talk, Praise, Heavy Flirting, Oral M!receiving

New town, new job, new life.

That’s always how things went in the movies, and every time, the girl always got her happy ending.

The idea is there, and you were beyond ready to do whatever it took to make it happen. How hard can it be, right?

After you’d managed to knock the first new off your list when you moved out of your ex’s house and to the next city over, the “job” part was next in line. After a week of filling out applications, you finally landed on the perfect selection, a serving job at Angelo’s Pizza.

You’d started this new job about about three months ago, and you finally felt like you were getting your footing with the flow of things. You’d been a server for as long as you could remember, but getting used to a new restaurant with new people and new menus and management could sometimes prove to be difficult. You were handling it with as much grace as you could, and the money was killer, so you stuck it out.

“You coming to the bar with me tonight?” your new favorite coworker, Josh asked as he stared into the kitchen from the expo window, rolling a pile of round coasters across the countertop.

“Mmmh…” You mumbled under your breath. “I dunno, I’ve been here since lunch and my feet are absolutely killing me.”

”Ugh don’t be such a prude, Y/N,” he responded, taking a pepperoni and cheese in one hand, and a supreme in the other. “We’ll be sitting down the whole time. Ya know. In barstools.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you teased, elbowing him in the ribs. “I guess so, but I can’t stay out late like last weekend. I open tomorrow.”

“Oooo, a clopen. That sucks. Well, I don’t. So I can get drunk, and you can watch me.” He flashed you a giant smile before taking off with the pizzas in hand, disappearing into the sea of people seated in the crowded restaurant.

Josh had befriended you on your very first day, comforting you after your manager harshly scolded you for ringing something in incorrectly.

“Don’t worry about it,” he’d said as you pouted in the chilly walk-in. “I still fuck my shit up all the time. The cooks don’t really care, plus if you mess somethin’ up, we get to eat the fucked up pizza.” That was the only thing he said to you the entire day, but it really stuck with you, immediately making you feel a lot better about your tiny mistake.

Now, after a few months of working side by side with Josh, you’d actually gotten to know each other fairly well, and you’d even go as far as calling him one of your good friends. You’d managed to get to know all your coworkers on a surface level, but Josh actually took the time to listen to you when you spoke, and showed real interest in the things you had to say, no matter how menial.

He was cute, and around the same age as you, but there was something about Josh that you couldn’t put your finger on. It was something that struck you, making him stand out from the rest of the guys you worked with. His aura pulled you in, and the way his eyes sparkled in the neon that covered the walls of the restaurant didn’t help the fact that he sometimes made your heart skip a beat. You decided that it was just his looks, though, catching you off guard every once in a while as you were around him more. Most importantly, he made you feel welcome. Like a good friend should.

The more you got to know Josh, the more open he became with you, and you quickly learned that his real personality outside of work was a little bit different than when you were on the clock. It’d become almost a habit, now, joining Josh at his favorite dive bar down the street when you’d both end up on the same closing schedule. It was like Groundhog Day, Josh would ask you to come out, you’d find an excuse to turn him down, but you always left Angelo’s with your hand in his as you tiredly dragged yourselves down the street. Sometimes other coworkers would join you, but it was always the two of you left shutting the bar down, joking and laughing with one another as you waited for your Ubers.

Josh was quickly becoming a norm for you. A fun, platonic norm. And though you were both flirty with one another, it never felt as though it would go past anything but that. Just friends. And you were very content with that.

So tonight, as things wound down and the patrons closed out their tabs, you felt as if you really could use a nightcap or two to reward yourself for not making even one mistake on your orders today.

As you tied the oversized trash bag closed, you met eyes with Josh as he skillfully swiped the mop across the sticky, sauce-covered floor.

He grinned when he saw you looking, making your stomach drop. “What?” He asked, biting his lower lip in as he staved off a full-on smile.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how you roped me into going out again tonight,” you said with faux aggravation.

Josh sucked in his teeth as he plopped the mop back into the big yellow bucket, rolling it over to where you stood. “Actually, I asked you out with me for another reason. I wasn’t kidding when I said I was gonna get absolutely shit hammered, tonight.” His tone was serious rather than silly, and you instantly felt like something was wrong.

“What’s the other reason?” You pressed, lifting the bag from the can. “Everything okay?”

He shook his head and swallowed, opening the double doors to the kitchen to go and dump his bucket. You followed closely behind him with your trash.

“Eh, not really. I’ll tell you all about it when we get there. Let’s lock this bitch up.” He flashed his eyes to the floor as he spoke, which was unlike him. He always spoke with such confidence and effortless ease that his dismissal of looking you in the eye struck you as strange.

The two of you finished up your closing tasks and said goodnight to the line cooks, grabbing up your things from your lockers and stuffing your aprons back inside. Josh was quiet the whole time, again striking you as out of the ordinary. You hadn’t known Josh long, but you did know him well enough to know that something was off, and he wasn’t handling it well.

“Think I’m going straight for liquor tonight,” he said as you walked arm in arm down the crowded sidewalk to the bar. He tilted his head back, blowing a puff of air above you as if he was trying his hardest not to cry.

“Damn,” you answered. “You must really be going through it, friend.” It was also unlike Josh to drink liquor; each time you were around him, he’d always chosen draft beer.

You both stepped inside the dimly-lit dive bar, letting the old smoky smell and sticky floors envelop you in their right-at-home feeling. You both took up camp on two stools at the end of the bar, closest to the back wall. The bartender Roy approached you, throwing down two bar napkins in front of you as you got comfortable in your seats.

“Evenin’, guys. Sex on the Beach andddd, Josh, we’ve got a Kolsch and a pale ale on tap, and also a—“

“Jack Daniel’s. Neat, please,” Josh interrupted Roy, causing him to contort his face with surprise.

“Been waiting on you almost five years and never known you to drink liquor. But, alright…” Roy responded as he left for a minute, returning and placing your drinks in front of you. “I’ll keep the tab goin’.”

It was silent between the two of you for the first couple of minutes, both of you sipping your drinks as you relaxed your muscles from the long workday. Finally, you decided you would have to be the one to speak first, for once.

“Okay, spill. What’s got you on the hard stuff tonight?” you asked, turning to face Josh in your stool.

He leaned on his elbow, his tight black t-shirt squeezing his toned arm just right. “I got dumped last night.”

You felt your eyebrows jump to your forehead. “What?! Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Josh…I didn’t even know you had a—“

“Nah, it’s okay. I could kinda tell shit was going sideways, anyway, ya know? Almost expected it. But, still doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He disconnected his eye contact, tilting his glass back all the way and finishing off the last bit of his whiskey.

You were almost stunned speechless. You hadn’t seen Josh show any emotion that even came close to sadness before, and you struggled with how you were going to react.

Roy brought the bottle of Jack over, filling Josh’s glass with another two fingers. Roy gave you a quick look of intrigue, questioning Josh’s actions in the same way that you were.

“How long were you together?” you asked, tiptoeing with caution, given that he might not want to go into much detail.

“Four and a half years,” he said blankly.

“My god, are you serious?!” you choked out with disbelief.

He nodded hard as he kept his eyes trained on the bar in front of you, spinning his stool in tiny tight circles. “Yeah. Long time.” He sipped his drink again.

“I really am sorry, Josh. That’s a long time to be with someone for it to just...” you placed a hand on his arm as you spoke.

He crossed his arms in front of him. “Yeah, it’s fucked,” he growled, leaning back in his stool.

“You wanna talk about it?” you asked.

“No, that’s why we’re here.” He slammed his hands on the bar top, motioning for Roy to refill your already almost empty cocktail.

Roy brought your new drink over, stirring the drink with the tiny straw for you. Josh lifted his glass into the air, forcefully clinking it against yours. “To moving on!” He said, finishing the drink off once again.

——

An hour or so later, you and Josh had managed to find yourselves significantly intoxicated again, engaged in a deep passionate debate.

“Ever since they banned smoking indoors, the American bar scene has been fucked!” Josh drunkenly yelled overtop of the loud music and large crowd that had joined you inside the bar.

You had to laugh. “Josh, not everybody loves breathing that shit in! It makes some people really sick!” you challenged.

“Ah, hell. You come into a bar, you expect to be around smoke, all there is to it. All there is to it!” He crossed his arms and shrugged his shoulders in defiance of your argument.

“You can go outside and smoke, Josh. Easy as that. Just get over it!” The two of you were glassy-eyed and giggly, feeling your liquor take hold of you as you talked. Josh brought about a warmth in you that you’d never experienced before, and you’d be lying if you said your…attraction? to him wasn’t amplified when you were drunk.

No, not attraction.

Something else…

You had no idea what to label the feeling, because you’d never felt it ever before. You took it in stride, though, embracing the completely new emotion as it came. It was almost like you craved his attention, and fed off of him engaging with you. You wanted to please him, but not in such a way that was sexual.

…You didn’t think.

No. You just craved his recognition. Wanted his eyes on you and no one else. Wanted to make him laugh, be the one who made him forget about everything else. It wasn’t a jealousy thing, it was a matter of possessiveness. You wanted to protect him like a best friend. And anyone who dared cause him unhappiness would have to deal with you.

‘Is this insane thinking?! Am I crazy for this?’ You drunkenly asked yourself as you washed your hands in the bar bathroom sink, giving yourself a disapproving look in the mirror. Probably, maybe…but he seems to feel the same about you... You had noticed that the second you’d inadvertently struck up a conversation with another guy at the bar, Josh quickly stole your attention away again, bringing up a whole new topic of conversation that had nothing to do with the last.

He charmed you. Drew you in. Challenged your thoughts and opinions…made you talk like you’d never talked before. Laugh like you’d never laughed.

“You’re really smart, Y/N. I didn’t really notice that about you, before,” Josh smiled as he leaned over toward you on the bar. His cheeks were tinted the prettiest pink from the alcohol, his eyes twinkling from the flash of the old TV above you.

“Uhh, thanks, I guess?” you chortled, feigning being offended.

“No I mean, you surprise me. Keep me guessing, every time I turn around. Never had a friend like that before. I’m usually so bored with everyone I meet. You make me like, think. Ya know?” He explained as you nodded sweetly in understanding. You knew you were blushing.

“Last call!!” You heard Roy yell across the still-crowded room. You made blurry eye contact with Josh again.

“Damn, we didddit agin,” you stammered. “Let me pay, you’ve had a hard couple’a days.”

“No no no, no you don’t. I asked you here, my treat. Plus, my drinks were fuckin’ pricey tonight.”

“But Josh, let me treat you, for once...” You jutted your bottom lip out as you begged him. You watched as his eyes landed on your lips, stealing his attention again. Suddenly, you felt excited.

“Alright, alright. But I’m leavin’ the tip,” he agreed. “I just needed some sympathy…that’s all I wanted tonight.”

“And you got it, didn’t you? You forgot all about your messy breakup?”

“For the most part, yes,” he laughed. “But I like to look at the long run, ya know? Like to take each step, one by one. Let myself live in the sadness, as long as it helps me heal.”

You scoffed as you signed your name on the receipt and pulled your coat on. “Psh, Josh, didn’t you just cheers me and say ‘to moving on’?”

He stood from his stool, wrapping his right arm around your neck tightly. The smell of his cologne mixed with the remnants of pizza filled your senses, temporarily making you dizzy as he squeezed you in his grip.

“I did, Y/N, I did. But I’m also drunk, now. Sooo. And also, I don’t really wanna go home yet. ‘M gonna walk you to your Uber then hit up Chauncey’s…they stay open ‘til 2.”

You turned in his grasp, your face within inches of his as he still held you tightly. “Don’t go back out, Josh. No sense in drinkin’ your sorrows away by yourself.” It felt like you were outside of your own body; all you wanted was to go home and strip down and crawl into bed, but for some reason, your mouth told Josh that apparently you didn’t want to go home, either. “Come back to my place. We’ll have one more drink, and we can share the blunt that TJ gave me yesterday.”

“TJ? The line cook?” Josh seemed surprised. “You letting strangers give you drugs now, Y/N?”

“He’s hardly a stranger, Josh. Why, you jealous?” You teased, while also testing the waters of what the hell this feeling the two of you apparently shared could actually be.

“Fuck no, I’m not jealousss. I’m…I…” Josh opened his mouth, but nothing came out after that. “I don’t know, I just—“ You were still tightly wrapped up in the crook of his elbow, his face so close to yours that you could smell the liquor on his breath as he struggled to speak, his hooded eyes bouncing around the room as he slurred.

You decided to save him. “It’s alright Josh. You don’t have to come over. I’ll smoke it allllll by myself…” you sneakily wrapped your arm around his back, giving it a couple playful pats.

He looked down at you through his lashes, his jaw clenched tightly together as he pressed his mouth to your ear. “You really want me to come over?”

You nodded. “I do. Come on, it’ll be fun.” More than anything, you wanted him to know you were the reason he had such a good night, and the reason he was able to forget about his breakup.

“Okay, jackass. You talked me into it. Let’s go get high.” He released you from his grasp as you confirmed your Uber on your phone, and your overwhelming satisfaction of claiming his attention again propelled you out the door.

——

“Cute place. You decorate it yourself?” Josh teased as you both entered your apartment. It was only half-decorated and you hardly had any furniture, spending most of your days working and saving up money to finish furnishing it.

“Shut up, dick head!” You shoved him backwards as he laughed. “I haven’t finished making it cute yet.” You pulled the bottle of liquor from the cabinet, shaking the little bit that was left. “I know you’ve been drinking whiskey, but…vodka’s all I’ve got.”

“Ah, it’ll work.” Josh responded, plopping down on your couch. “M’already fucked with a hangover tomorrow, might as well do it up.” You caught sight of his pretty light brown curls sitting on top of his head, and you felt another rush of that strange excitement soar through you.

You made the two drinks and joined him on the couch, pulling the blunt up under your nose as you breathed in its earthy scent. Josh took the drink from your hand, raising his eyebrows as he watched you smell the rolled marijuana.

“TJ usually has good shit, I will say,” he winked, sipping his drink.

You pulled your feet up underneath you on the couch, scooting yourself closer to him. “Thought you said I shouldn’t take drugs from strangers…”

“I never said you shouldn’t, I just meant that next time you should get your weed from me.” He spoke without a care, taking the blunt from your hand and bringing it to his own nose.

“Ah, well I was unaware I could do that, Joshua.” You snatched it back from him, taking the lighter from the table in front of you and lighting the end of the blunt. You inhaled the smoke slowly, noticing that Josh hadn’t responded to you.

You glanced at him, finding the most devastating half smile on his face. You swore you felt your skin tingle.

“Did you just call me by my government name, Y/N?” He whispered, leaning his head down to you.

You exhaled the smoke you didn’t realize you were holding, nodding slowly. “Yeah, you mad about it?”

You passed him the blunt. “Nah, kinda liked the way it sounded, actually.” You watched as his lips made a perfect O around the tip of the blunt, and you found yourself wondering what kind of lip balm he used to get them to look…like that…

You felt your eyes grow heavy as your first hit found you, the THC entering your system quickly. Josh must have noticed, as he giggled at your appearance. “Told you TJ had good shit.”

“I swear to god I’m already fuckin’ high…” you laughed, taking another big hit.

“Mmm, no baby, you’re crossed. But not all the way. Yet.” Josh’s voice was gritty and buttery all at the same time. And the fact that he called you baby had you feeling that same feeling again. He calls everybody baby, though…all the girls at work…you’re not special.

The two of you sat and smoked until the blunt was a roach, and the air around you was thick with haziness. Your entire body was heavy and floaty, and you swore you could feel the blood pumping through your extremities. The conversation with Josh was so easy, so effortless, and the way the two of you held the complete attention of one another continued to astound you.

“So tell me about you. What’s your real story?” Josh asked, the both of you sitting facing one another completely, now.

You sipped your vodka drink. “What do you mean, real story?”

“I only know a little bit about you, where did you come from? What’s in your past?”

You took a deep breath. “Well, believe it or not, Josh, I kinda just got broken up with recently, too.”

“No way, you’re kidding. When? What happened?” He pressed.

“Ahh, about a month before I started at Angelo’s. I’m from about twenty miles away, up north a bit. Came here looking to start completely fresh. Still close enough to my family, if I need them. Ya know…” you trailed off. Josh’s eyes were telling you to continue.

“I got dumped, too. After a year of being with him. I thought we were serious, but apparently not. It didn’t hurt me too bad, I’m alright. Liking my new life pretty well, actually.”

Josh dramatically leaned back on the couch cushion, throwing his free hand over his face. “Ugh, god…how embarrassing. You handled bein’ dumped like a goddamned rockstar. I’m over here down in the dumps.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s okay, Josh. Four and a half years is a lot longer than one…”

“You’re right, I guess.” He sat back up, bringing his attention back to you. “So what was his reason? What was his last straw?” He asked, moving his face closer to yours. Your body was vibrating from the alcohol and the weed, and the presence of Josh sitting so close to you on your couch. You were positively buzzing.

“He uh, didn’t really give me one. Just said it was over,” you whispered, feeling your emotions flying all over the place. Josh’s hand reached up, twirling a piece of your hair between his fingers. “He also said I was a bad kisser, or something stupid.”

Josh winced at your words. “A bad kisser? I highly doubt that, Y/N…”

“And why do you doubt that?” You giggled.

“Because. I have a hard time taking my eyes off your lips, I can only imagine how hard it would be to take my lips off of them…” he smirked a little, laughing through his nose.

“You’re fuckin’ stoned,” you laughed, leaning your face onto his hand.

“And? I speak nothing but the truth, baby.”

“Mmmhm, yeah. Shut up,” you complained.

“I’m serious. I bet you really are a good kisser. That guy was just…stupid.”

“Maybe I’m a horrible kisser, how would I ever know?” You shrugged, feeling your body about to jump out of your skin simply from having this conversation with Josh.

He held his first two fingers up, motioning for you to come here. “Come on. Show me how you like to kiss.”

“What?! No, I’m not gonna do that,” you blushed, pulling away from him with shyness.

“Baby, it’s me. I’m just trying to judge your kissing skills. I’ll be completely honest with you, tell you if that guy was right or not,” Josh said, holding his hands out to the sides.

You stopped, staring at him through your slit eyelids, trying to figure him out. He met you with sincere eyes, and though you were both extremely intoxicated, you didn’t feel uncomfortable in the least.

“I’m serious. Just kiss me,” he ordered matter of factly. “S’no big deal.”

You took a deep breath, feeling the air surrounding you heavy with normalcy, but also heavy with yearning.

You slowly pulled yourself in closer to him, gently wetting your lips as your mind went back and forth on whether or not to do this. Your breath became a little chopped, nerves bursting through the wall of your drunken carelessness.

Finally you were close enough to feel his breath on your lips, and your hands naturally shot up to cup his jaw. He clenched it, his eyes falling heavy again as his breath caught. Your heart was absolutely pounding from your chest being in this close proximity with him.

“Do it,” he whispered. “Show me.”

You finally let your lips press gently to his, your hands still cupping his jaw, as his hands sat comfortably in his lap. The feeling of them was exactly what you had imagined. Soft, supple, and sweet, with the tiniest bit of sting on them from the leftover liquor. You finally exhaled, pulling away a bit to gauge his reaction.

“You can get into it, baby,” he smiled, urging you to push through your nerves. “I’m just here to help, s’just me…” his voice was like honey, the sound of it tearing through your body as he motivated you.

You leaned in again, this time letting yourself be a little more brazen, a little more steadfast as you worked to prove your ex wrong. Worked to impress Josh. Worked to show him. You opened your mouth a little, letting your tongue skirt across his bottom lip. The flavor of him almost knocked you down.

You began to get into it some more, letting your high take over, and letting your guard down as you found yourself really, really enjoying kissing him. You perched up a little bit, moving to your knees to get a better stance.

“Mmmhmm… keep goin’ baby…” Josh mumbled when you broke away for a second. His words urged you on, and you felt brave enough to push your tongue further into his mouth, but only a little. You didn’t want to overwhelm, just experiment. His tongue met yours in the process, tasting each other for the very first time.

Your hands curled up in his hair, squeezing at the roots a bit. He let out a little whine, so quiet that you almost didn’t even hear it. It ignited something inside you again, and you knew you had to drive it home. Had to prove yourself. You pulled away for a second, hissing in air as you bit his bottom lip, pulling it out a little and making eye contact before pressing into him again, both of you moving in such unison that you were fully involved in the sultry kiss, now.

At this point you felt like you were teetering on the thin line of platonic kissing; you were still trying to prove yourself, but also…he tasted so good…

You felt the need to be touched. You reached down and grabbed Josh’s wrists, pulling them up to rest on you- one hand on your thigh, and the other around the back of your neck. You wanted reciprocation. He obliged, and as you licked into his mouth, his hand squeezed into your thigh, strong and needing. His fingers felt like burning embers on your leg, and you wished that you had changed into shorts when you got home.

His hand pulled at the back of your neck, burying your mouths further into one another for a few seconds as you watched his brow furrow, his eyes peeking open just a little to take you in.

“Fuck, baby…he was wrong, you proved him so wrong…” Josh said, smiling against your lips as he delved back in. Your mind was swimming from his words of praise, and you decided that though this was simply an act between friends, you knew that you could kiss him all day long, never tiring of the feeling of his lips on yours. You were completely surrounded by him, by his warming presence. His scent, his sounds, his touch… It was all too much. You felt like you were drowning in him, but you didn’t dare try to pull yourself from his waters.

Your hands squeezed at his hair one last time as you let them drift down his cheeks and neck, tickling the back of it before rolling across his shoulders. You slowly brought them down to his pecs, and finally rested them on his cheeks again, pulling his face away from yours for a split second before landing one last peck.

When you finally disconnected, you took in the sight of him…hair disheveled, eyes black and glazed, and his hands still rested gently in the places that you put them.

“Holy fuck…” he breathed.

“Oh my god, was it bad? It was bad, wasn’t it? He was right, I’m a horrible kis—“ you were completely cut off by Josh’s lips on yours again, this time forcefully pulling you into him. This kiss was pleading, unbridled, and wanting, and each time you pulled away, you both were panting with want.

“What the fuck are we doing?” You breathed when you broke away.

“Kissing contest,” he answered, his hand respectfully staying on the back of your neck. “I think I’m winning, though…”

“Mmm, I don’t know about that…” you said with a bit more confidence in yourself after seeing how you made him feel.

“Yeah you’re right,” he agreed through an inhale. “You’re kicking my ass at this experiment.” He drove his tongue into your mouth again, but it didn’t make you want to retract…it made you want to pull it in further. You began to feel the heat that the two of you were emanating, and the sweat that was forming on your skin.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely turned on, but you would never let him know that. You couldn’t. You’re just friends. One friend helping another get over his ex by having a kissing contest. Makes total sense.

Finally you pulled away again, covering your mouth with your hand. You laughed, making Josh in turn laugh with you. “Well? What’s the verdict? Was he right?” You asked.

“Fuck no, he wasn’t right. You’re a hell of a kisser, Y/N.” Josh’s smile stretched all the way across his face, completely blissed out in his high. His hand came up to shyly wipe at his eyes as he huffed a breath. “God damn, you left me a panting mess, baby.”

Your heart stopped at his words, feeling more confidence in yourself than you’d felt in a long, long time. Suddenly, the wildest idea to ever come across your mind escaped right through your lips.

“Josh, we’re just good friends, right?” you asked.

“Yeah, baby. Real good friends,” he wiped his hand across his mouth before extending both arms across the back of your couch.

“Do you—do you care if I finish what I started?” you asked in an absolute moment of weakness. The look on his face turned up into surprise, and you weren’t sure how he was going to react to your question.

“What uh, what do you mean, Y/N?”

You moved toward him again, wanting to feel him again. Feel his hands on you again. Be the center of all his attention again.

“Can you judge something else for me, Josh? I’ve always wondered how well I…performed…and who better to be the judge than my very good friend? Who will be completely honest with me?”

WHO even are you?! You felt like a person outside your own body. The confidence he was giving you was…

“This ain’t no way to treat the broken-hearted, baby…” he replied, his voice a soft breath of air as his head lulled backwards. You paused again, unsure how to take him. “But I’ll be your judge…”

“Really? You will?” You asked, feeling vulnerable, but also wanting to show out for him.

“Mhm. If that’s what you really want…” He bit his lower lip into his mouth, letting his eyes fall onto your lips like they had been doing all night.

“Just friends…” you reiterated.

“Just friends,” he parroted, lightly tapping your cheek with his hand.

This was absolutely something you never did, and definitely wasn’t something you could ever even see yourself doing with Josh, of all people. You were supposed to be making him forget about his ex, letting him talk through it… hell, he was just dumped twenty-four hours ago. But there was something other-worldly spurring you on, whispering in your ear to just do it. And he was letting you. Was it wrong? Maybe, probably… but honestly, where was the harm in it? You were both obviously into each other, and as long as you were just making each other happy, you didn’t see anything wrong with it.

Besides, this new need to make him think about nothing but you at every single second was making your head spin, and you wanted his focus completely on you, right now. You moved to press your lips to his again, letting things naturally heat up so that you could continue on with your intentions. You took a deep breath, confidently removing yourself from the couch, placing yourself in the floor in front of him. It was at this second that you were extremely thankful for your liquid courage, and the fact that you were too stoned to care about much else besides pleasing Josh. He almost made it easy.

“Ten,” Josh said out of nowhere.

“What?” you asked.

“I give your kissing a ten out of ten. Seriously,” he said, smiling from the corner of his mouth as he ran his hand along your arm, peering down at you as you kneeled on the floor.

You felt your face turn beet red, and you halfway didn’t really believe him.

“Stop playing, you don’t have to be nice,” you erred.

“M’not just being nice. Seriously, I rate it a ten,” he stated, and you knew by the sincerity in his voice that he was telling the truth.

“Wow. Didn’t expect that, honestly,” you pulled a few strands of hair behind your ear. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, you gonna finish what ya started, or not?” There was a darkness in his tone that you hadn’t noticed yet, and it made your stomach turn over with nerves. But even more so, it lit a fuse in your chest that was slowly burning, ready to explode at any given second. And with each passing minute, you wanted to impress him even more.

You maneuvered yourself on your knees, gripping his thighs and pulling them apart so that you could place yourself between them. Your hands stayed there on his legs, squeezing and kneading at his muscles as you moved your hands closer and closer to where you both really wanted them to be. You could almost physically see him getting harder through his dark jeans, and you could hear his breathing picking up, too.

You let your hands drift to his groin, squeezing the muscles there as he leaned down in his seat, giving you extra space as his head fell back on the cushions. You found the button on his jeans, pulling the fabric sideways and undoing the button with one hand and unzipping the zipper.

“Damn, alright…” Josh laughed, holding his hands up. “Show off.”

You took that as a tiny win, and decided to keep it going, playing on his words from earlier. ‘You keep me guessing at every turn…’

You pushed your hair back behind your shoulders, and leaned yourself down, letting your mouth meet his boxer-covered dick. You nipped your teeth lightly at it, making him hiss. You could tell just from this little bit of contact that he was well-endowed, and you felt your mouth physically watering for him. You needed to taste him. Your lips bounced around, peppering little kisses all over… the indirect contact making his hips jut up a little.

You sat back, motioning with your hands. “Pull them down for me,” you demanded of him, and he gave you the sneakiest smirk, leaning back and pushing his pants and boxers down far enough to spring himself free.

You weren’t wrong. He was perfectly sized, and it reassured you that you were okay with going forward with this. What you did notice, though, was he wasn’t as hard as you wanted him to be. Your hands rested on his thighs again as you sized him up, licking your lips as you prepared yourself.

Josh had been the one urging you on all night, but suddenly, it felt like there had been a little bit of a shift. You finally brought your moistened lips to him, licking little circles around his tip, starting slowly at first, then picking up a little bit of speed. You swirled and gently suckled, and you felt him take in a big breath of air into his lungs. You glanced up at him, finding him looking up at the ceiling as he bit his lips.

“What’sa matter, Josh? You okay?” you pressed, knowing that you could stop at any second, if that was what he wanted.

“No, yeah. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I just… this is the first time someone else…since…” he didn’t need to say anything more.

“God, yeah. I’m sorry, your breakup is so fresh, I’m sure this is more mental than anything, for you…” you agreed as you sat back. “We don’t have to–”

“No. Yes we do, Y/N. I’m just…” You could tell Josh was having a hard time with his words again, for the second time tonight.

“Just what? You can tell me…” you tried comforting him, placing your hands lower on his knees.

He swallowed, placing a sweet hand on the side of your face. “This is the first time I’ve um…been…with a woman…in a very long time.”

“Oh,” you muttered, his sentiment catching you off guard a little. You hadn’t realized you never even asked the name of his ex, let alone any details about the relationship.

“But it’s okay, Y/N,” he smiled, letting his thumb brush your cheek. “I may be wallowing in my sorrows, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want this, want you to do this. Just…in my head a little bit,” he admitted, putting a hole through your heart.

You sighed. “It doesn’t feel wrong?” Your voice was tiny as it escaped you.

He quickly shook his head side to side as he layed back on his elbow behind his head. “No. That’s what’s making me freak out a little, it doesn’t feel wrong in the least,” he swallowed. “Maybe I…Maybe I wasn’t as in love as I thought I was.”

You smiled a pitiful smile as you rested your elbows on his knees, taking a deep, recentering breath of your own as the heavy air fell silent around you.

“You’re really fuckin’ pretty, Y/N,” he complimented you out of the blue, his thumb still grazing your cheek. “And I’m really into you.”

“You are?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know we said we’re friends, but friends can do this. Right? Doesn’t stop the fact that I’m attracted to you.” His glossy words made your stomach do flips again as you realized maybe his feelings were the exact same as yours. Unexplainable, but still overwhelmingly good.

“Yeah. I really think friends can do this,” you agreed. And you were serious. If you were going to be this person for Josh, then he could also in turn be this person for you.

“Plus, the feeling of your lips on my cock just now…” He laughed through his nose. “Might be in competition with your ten out of ten kissing. And you hadn’t even shown me what they could do, yet.” He stopped there, biting both his lips into his mouth as he slid his hips down again, cocking an eyebrow.

Good god, you’d hoped he would have a little bit of a dirty mouth.

“You want me to keep going?” You asked.

“Fuck yeah, I do. I gotta judge your skill, don’t I?” He played, removing his hand from your cheek and running it through your hair. He gripped it a little, making you stiffen your neck. Your eyes flashed to his, and you didn’t even need to say anything, he knew what you meant. He nodded, giving you the go ahead, and you prayed that he wouldn’t remove his hand from tangling up in your hair.

You slowly leaned down to him again, starting things up just as you had before. Your tongue swirled on his tip, wetting it in circles as you let the saliva build up in your mouth. Around and around you took it, descending further and further onto him with every rotation. You heard him breathe out, his hips shaking a little beneath you. As you got as far as you could get, you pursed your lips down, tightening them around the base of his dick before sucking hard, pulling up and off of him completely. His hand tightened in your hair, showing you that he was liking it so far.

He let out a groan, followed by a little laugh. “Fuck yeah, Y/N…”

You quickly found a rhythm, letting your head begin to bob as you worked your tongue and cheeks, alternating forceful suction mixed with light little pops of your lips. His hips were jutting with every movement, and the sounds that were coming from him were enough to keep you going, keep you striving to impress him…

You took him in your hand, gripping at the base and using the saliva that had dripped down as lubrication to move your hand, twisting and pumping it. “Jesus Christ, you’re…”

You took a second to glance up at him, seeing his jaw tightly clenched and his chest heaving with labored breaths. He brought his other hand down, pulling the hair that had drifted down away from your face, pulling it all back to the nape of your neck and holding it tightly there. You nodded, letting him know you were okay with him guiding your movements.

“Mhm,” you hummed on him. “Show me how you like it.”

He let out a choke of breath and readjusted in his seat, spreading his legs wider for you. He gripped a little harder on your hair, pulling you up and across his stomach, your faces almost touching as he brought his mouth close. He didn’t say anything, just hissed through his teeth as he scanned over your face. He then used a little bit of force to push your head back down to where it was, and you resumed your work.

Fuck, what the hell is happening… your chemistry with Josh was absolutely off the chain. You felt like you would follow every command he would ever give you, let him use you in the worst ways, completely trusting him to do as he pleased. You were absolutely yearning to satisfy him.

“I’ll show you exactly how I like it baby, but this is your show, remember? You’re calling the shots…” he growled, his voice deeper and more grating than it was earlier. You shrugged one shoulder, replacing your hand around his base. You moved it up and down opposite of your mouth, making his whole body start to shake. Your tongue worked on him, as your mouth drifted down as far as it could possibly go, with the help of Josh’s light guidance.

The weed had contributed to your slow, languid movements while the alcohol made your inhibitions fly out the window… the beautiful combo of the crossfade sending you both into a blurry and slow-motioned entanglement. You swore you could listen to his noises and praises on repeat as they dripped from his lips, quiet and comforting, as devious as they were.

“So fuckin’ pretty, Y/N… so fuckin’ pretty…” he mumbled, lightly thrusting himself into your mouth as your neck began to ache a little. “Slow and steady, just like that…”

He puffed out a quick breath with a blow of his lips, and you could tell that he was enjoying himself just as much as you were. Normally, you would finish up the job, and expect repayment, but getting Josh to even feel the tiniest bit of pleasure at your hand was enough. It was that draw, that need to make him feel good. Keeping him and him only in the spotlight. And if you had to guess, you were doing a pretty good job at it.

After a few seconds, his movements became jostled, and his once slow grinding movements started to falter. You felt him start to throb in your mouth, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until he was crumbling beneath you, all at the mercy of your mouth.

“Hey, you want me to–” he said, suddenly shuddering.

You nodded again, pleading with him to let it all go. You wanted the whole thing, wanted him to have the full experience. You needed to see what he tasted like.

His breath started to pick up as he gripped your hair tighter, his hips pushing his dick further into your mouth as you let him graze the back of your throat, tears pouring from the sides of your eyes. “Come on baby, come on… just a little bit longer…fuck…”

Finally, he was letting it all go, filling up your mouth as you swallowed his bitter-sweetness down, savoring the taste of him on your tongue. His whole body went rigid as he came, shaking and jerking as you worked to make sure not a drop was left behind. You squeezed your hand around him, pulling him up into your mouth. His whines were like music to your ears, pathetic and pitiful as he worked to come back down to earth.

“Son of a bitch, Y/N… that was…” he said as you sat back up, wiping your mouth off with the back of your hand. He caught your jaw in his grasp, squeezing your cheeks together and forcing you to open your mouth. He pulled you closer, bringing you in for a heated kiss that left you smoldering for him.

When you finally pulled away, you met eyes with him, and you could tell he was completely blissed out. “S’been a long time since I’ve had anything like that.” He admitted, pulling your back up to sit by him on the couch again.

He tucked himself back in his boxers but decided to forgo buttoning back up. “Really? Even in a four and a half year long relationship?” you asked.

“Ah, I dunno. We were long distance, so… it was few and far between but. Really I meant being with someone who actually showed passion about making me feel good. You know what I mean?”

You couldn’t help but smile. That was exactly what you wanted out of this. For Josh to feel that you wanted to be there.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I just…wanted to make you feel good,” you admitted, shrugging one shoulder up as you brushed your disheveled hair back into place. “So, what’s my rating, huh? Give it to me straight.”

Josh closed one eye and looked up with the other as if he was thinking really hard. “Uh, nine and a half.”

Your mouth fell slack, and you felt the soreness in your jaw joints. “Ah! Why the half?!” you argued. “Not a ten?”

He chuckled. “Would be a ten, but I only took away the half because I know that I won’t be able to feel you like that all the time.” You both stared at one another as you let his words sink in.

Could you, though?

“And because I feel like you were holding back, a little. Weren’t you?” he pressed. His statement took you by surprise, because he was right.

“...Maybe…”

“You shouldn’t have. It’s just me, remember. Guess you’ll have to show up and show out next time. See if you can get a perfect ten,” he said with nonchalance.

“Next time?” you spat without a thought.

He shrugged, squeezing his hand around your thigh. “Sure, why not? If you want to, of course. Might be fun to have a little situation we’re both comfortable with… no strings attached type thing…”

You ran over the idea in your head, not really seeing anything wrong with it. You nodded, agreeing with his outlandish proposal.

“But, there is one thing, Y/N,” he swallowed, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. “Obviously I… um. I didn’t make you feel good, tonight. But, just give me some–”

You cupped your hand over Josh’s mouth. “Josh, honey, shut up. You don’t have to explain it to me. I understand, and it’s okay. If we’re gonna do this, it's all gonna be in good fun, right?”

He nodded from behind your hand. “Right,” he mumbled.

“And I certainly didn’t feel uncomfortable with you, so. I’m pretty positive we could just sit here and look at each other and we would have a good time,” you laughed, pulling your hand from his face. He caught your hand in his, and gave it a sweet squeeze.

“Not sure I’d be able to sit by you for too long without something happening. You’re a fuckin’ treat, Y/N. I swear.” His eyes traveled down your body again, and you watched his gears turn as his gaze drifted over your breasts. “Thank you, for tonight.”

“Thank you,” you whispered. “We still friends?”

He took your chin between his fingers. “Yeah. Good friends.”

As the air between you finally started to settle and the intoxication turned into sobriety, you realized that the night was nearly about to turn into morning. You didn’t have to be at work until 11, so you were going to be able to get at least a little bit of sleep before your shift tomorrow.

“It’s too late to get an Uber, Josh. Just stay here,” you more demanded than suggested, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and tossing it overtop of his lap. You stood, stretching your body as you made your way toward your bedroom.

“What, you not gonna invite me to your bed?” He asked, throwing you off.

“Uhh, I mean, sure–”

“I’m kidding, Y/N. We’re friends. Friends don’t sleep in beds together. Friends sleep on couches.” You watched as he burrowed himself under the puffy blanket and made himself horizontal.

“Maybe one day you’ll end up in my bed.” You tossed the joke over your shoulder, walking down the short hallway.

“And maybe one day you’ll get a perfect ten.”

xoxoxo jules

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auroralwriting · 5 months ago

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illicit affairs

chapter one

biker!bucky barnes x stark!reader (turf war au)

miss stark begins to have doubts about her "family."

chapter two | series masterlist

warnings: violence, language, small age gap (6~ years), angst, arguing, drinking, overall crime and gang stuff, sort of enemies to lovers

Back before The Fallout, as many outsiders dubbed it, The Avengers were a tight knit group of friends in New York who were founded to change the look of "gangs," as some called them. However, not long after its beginning, its end came just as fast.

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, the pivotal members, just couldn't decide on how The Avengers should be ran. So, they split up almost equally into two groups, each taking a part of the city to call their own.

The Northside Stark Syndicates (aka Queens) was now made up of James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Paul Bettany, who simply was nicknamed by everyone as "Vision," Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, and his little sister.

The Southside Avengers (Brooklyn), who kept the original name, included Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, and Bucky Barnes.

In the previous years, Tony had kept you out of the original Avengers due to your younger, more innocent age. Now, however, in your early twenties, Tony was quick to introduce you to the life you were somewhat protected from.

"I'm telling you," Clint whined, "they gave us a look."

Vision raised an eyebrow, "I highly doubt they gave us a look. I mean, were the biggest crime unit in the city." Oh, yeah, was it mentioned that nowadays the gangs were not made to change the look of gangs? "Plus, if they really gave us a look, we all would have seen it."

You sat on your chair, scrolling through you phone bored out of your mind. Honestly, who gives a shit if someone gives a look? You surely didn't care, and neither did Bruce.

"I really don'y think it matters anyways," Bruce commented. "If they do it again, we'll just beat their asses.

"I'm gonna check it out, it's worth it." Tony decided, clapping his hands. "And for the love of god, can we stop saying the bad words around the child?"

You rolled your eyes, "I'm not a kid, Tony. I take care of myself."

"Yeah, yeah," Tony waved you off. "I'm gonna go check it out. Let's go partying after."

Rhodey gave an obnoxiously loud sigh, "I don't want to party, I just want to chill and drink. We've been partying almost every night this week. Can't we just go to some bar, watch some tv, and drink?"

"All in vote of drinking at a bar?" Clint asked as everyone raised their hands. "It's settled then."

"You're all such losers," Tony moaned. "I need new friends, seriously, you're all so fuckin' lame." Tony grabbed his knife and shoved it in his pocket. "Happy told me about this new bar, Tito's. Let's try there."

Vision looked to Tony with a confused look, "Isn't that almost on the South?"

The room got tense as Tony stared blankly at Vision. "Almost. It's like, right in the middle. We'll be fine." Infamous last words.

"This place isn't so bad," Rhodey said as the group walked in. You felt eyes on you; that happened wherever you went. "It's casual, kind of relaxing."

The six of you got seats at the bar as you all ordered your drinks. "It's alright," Tony shrugged, "Not the same as a club, but not bad." His face was a little more blue than a couple of hours ago. It was clear he roughed up those guys from earlier.

"Oh my god, Tony, give up the clubbing idea." Clint grumbled.

You took a sip of your drink as the room became oddly silent. Your eyes fell to the door. Oh, shit. In walked The Avengers, whose eyes all fell on your group just as quick as it took for your friends to notice them as well. The stares were brutal as they made their way to a booth, Steve's eyes never left Tony's. Tony's never left Steve. It was an awkward tension. Soon, a quiet chatter, more quiet than before, fell upon the bar again.

"Maybe we should just leave," You muttered softly.

"I agree, I'm not liking this tension. Also, Romanoff won't stop staring at me." Clint sighed. The two of them used to be tight, almost tighter than any other duos in the old group. It was clear their tension was wild.

Tony shook his head, "No, we were here first." Your eyes fell back to the group. It only took a moment before Sam nudged Steve, who stared right back at you. The rest of the group followed suit as you felt yourself being turned around. "Stop that, don't look at them."

"But we were before," You protested.

"And that's not now, so stop." Tony replied as you gave a small sigh.

After a few minutes, it wasn't hard to hear mumbles from the table. The only words you could clearly understand were Tony, unsuitable, and fucker.

That was all it took for Tony to jump off his chair and make his way to the booth. You found Clint's eyes, who looked just as shocked as you. The rest of you scrambled to follow.

"Don't you dare talk about me," Tony sneered, grabbing hold of Steve's collar.

Steve only smirked, "Can't take the hits to your ego?"

Vision put his hand on Tony's arm, "Let's just go, man." It hadn't been long since Tony and Steve had it out last, and that left them both bloody and blue with new marks in their records. "Let's go clubbing."

"No, I want to know what this shit-face said about me." Tony snarled, "So tell me, what'd you say?"

"Let go of him, Stark." Sam warned. "We don't want any problems tonight."

Clint kept you almost hidden behind him. While you were more than capable of taking care of yourself, you were still young. The youngest of both groups, actually. You were freshly twenty-two, Wanda was only twenty-four, but she'd been in this business much longer than you had.

"Well we're gonna have some if Rogers doesn't open his mouth." Tony responded.

"You wanna add some more blue to that face of yours?" Bucky chimed in. That was enough to break the camels back. It was no secret that if there was anyone Tony hated more than Steve, it was his best bud, Bucky. Bucky used to be a part of the mafia out on the west coast. In some off handed way, he was the reason your parents got themselves killed. Even if it wasn't Bucky's hands, Tony saw it as such. Deep down, you knew that wasn't his intentions.

Tony's fist was nearly about to hit Steve's face as you jumped forward, letting it hit your palm. The pain that shot through your hand made you wince as you tried to push Tony's hand back. "Tony, stop it. We're leaving now." Tony gave one last dark look to Steve as he turned on his heel, walking away with Bruce and Rhodey close behind him.

"Stark," Clint muttered as he grabbed your hand. "Let's go wrap this up." Vision was quick to move your arm close to your chest as his arm wrapped around you, guiding you away from The Avengers.

As you three walked away, you turned your head to see them staring at you three. No, they were just staring at you.

Back at the table, Wanda's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you okay?" She asked Steve with concern.

"I'm fine," Steve muttered, unable to peel his eyes from you.

"What?" Sam asked, noticing his lingering stare as the three of you exited the bar.

Steve shook his head, "She just took a full blown punch," He muttered under his breath.

"Probably broke her hand doing so," Natasha chimed in. "Did you see the power in that punch? She had to have at least sprained it."

Wanda screwed her face, "And Tony didn't even care. Didn't even give her a second glance."

A low hum came from Steve, "Did anyone ever meet her?" A collective head shake came from the booth.

“Didn’t Stark keep her locked away like Rapunzel?” Natasha asked, her curiosity officially peaked. “I don’t even really remember him mentioning her, besides the fact that he had a sister and she was younger.”

“I think he said she lived with their parents at the time,” Sam thoughtfully answered. “Out on the west coast. She moved here after they died, I think.”

Bucky spoke up, “But why’d she do that? She had no reason to take a hit for Steve.”

“Maybe she’s the only level headed person there,” Sam chuckled.

“Not well enough to keep them out of the mafia’s eyes,” Steve replied. “Stark’s got their attention, at least for now.”

Nat clicked her tongue, “He probably wants their help to get rid of us.”

With a small nod, Steve chided, “Which he won’t succeed in.”

“Can you bend your fingers? Move your wrist?” Clint asked carefully as Vision finished wrapping your hand. It hurt like absolute hell. It had to be sprained, maybe even broken.

You gave a hesitant reply as you tried to bend your fingers. “It hurts too much,” You shook your head. “I’m just gonna let it rest for now. I’ll try again soon. Thanks,” You mused to Vision as he gave a small smile, walking away with the medical kit.

“We need to get them back.” Tony said as he entered the room. “Rogers can’t pull some shitty stunt like that.”

Clint sighed, “Why don’t we just drop it for now? I thought the plan was to get the Asgardian Mafia to help us run them out, not kill them.”

“Killing them sounds wonderful,” Tony almost sang as he sat down. After a moment, he eyed your hand. “Hey, how’s that hand?”

You rolled your eyes, “Not great, thanks to you”

Tony’s face fell, “Hey, you shouldn’t have blocked my punch!” Tony angrily responded.

“You shouldn’t have started a fight in the middle of some bar we’ve never been to!” You argued in response. “It was stupid and it was reckless.”

“I’m gonna get the Hydra boys to fuck with them a little,” Rhodey announced from his spot on the couch where he was silently observing. “Maybe let them fuck ‘em up a bit.”

The Hydra boys were no good around here. They weren’t necessarily a gang, nor mafia. Maybe at one point they were, but now they were now just asses who loved to put their noses where they didn’t belong. The south had their own, too, called Shield. They were known to be more tolerable, less willing to do whatever anyone wanted. You had to know them to get their help.

“Don’t involve Hydra. They’re no good, really. I think they do more than they say they do.” Vision called out from the bathroom where he was putting away the medical kit.

“Then I’ll call The Guardians,” Rhodey shrugged. “They’ll do anything for an extra buck.”

Tony shrugged, “Fine with me, Quill’ll fuck them up really good. Make sure they all bleed, and tell Quill to get it on photo.” You got nervous at his words. Sure, tensions had been high lately, but it had never been this bad before.

Tony’s words made you reconsider everything that had been happening. Things were getting too serious too fast. Even worse, Tony no longer listened to your warnings. He was getting angrier by the second. Deep down, you knew things needed to change, and that started with helping the other side to gain some trust.

#bucky barnes #marvel fic #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #sebastian stan x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #marvel au #marvel fanfiction #bucky fanfic #james bucky barnes #bucky

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sanderssideswriting · 2 months ago

Note

Yeah the ts crit community really is mostly on tumblr. If any crit on twitter is brave enough to call out thomas or even just ask a SIMPLE INNOCUOUS question like ‘hey whens the next sanders sides coming out’ they get dog-piled by his followers. Just now my twitter tl algorithm made some posts pop up from ppl I don’t even follow and they’re just defending thomas + his patreon and saying that we’re just angry jealous ppl who don’t understand what goes on behind the scenes for him (as if THEY do?).

I swear, the die-hard fans that are still left, I’m sorry, they’re not a fandom. They’re a cult. A cult of personality centered around one man, purely there to keep stroking and defending his fragile ego. They’re no better than the sw*fties or any other group of ppl driven by blind devotion, obsession and white knighthood.

Oh 100%, there's next to no ts crit community on twitter, I got curious and checked a few days ago, searching stuff like Thomas Sanders Critisism, TSS Criticism, TSS critical, stuff that's used over here and the only thing that got anything was the first, but then it was just showing stuff with "Thomas Sanders" or even just "Sanders" in the post. So it's hard to organize that kind of community, plus the die hards and Thomas being on there.

I'd say the only place the fandom is pretty active is on Twitter, and that's soley because of Thomas, because he interacts with the fans and makes it so that there's motivation to make tss stuff. You know there's a community on there for it and if you're lucky Thomas will see it and retweet it. Otherwise it's kind of a joke that the fandom is dead until it's breifly revived whenever a new episode comes out. Which then leads to parasocial relationships and the idea that somehow continues to persist that Thomas is a poor boy who can do no wrong and if he did do wrong he didn't actually know any better. Never mind he's thirty-fucking-4. And his fans are half his age.

One this I do kinda disagree with is the idea that all his die hards and current fans are like 14, which I just don't think is true, I think they were like 14 when the last proper episode came out, and are now more along the lines of like 18 or around there. He's got a lot of patrons, including 17 people who paying $125 a month, that money has to come from somewhere and I doubt it's all from allowances.

#I cannot stress enough how much I hate twitter also I rarely go on there #and the last time I did I made a post responding to someone who'd found us critters #then had to block that person for my own peace of mind #I really only go on there when someone posts about some bullshit Thomas said on twitter and I go to verify for myself #which is how I found the apology posts from both those people Thomas got needlesly offended by then guilting into saying sorry #which is pathetic #again he's 34 he's been online a long time and should know how to handle people not calling him gods gift to youtube #but he can't #anyway that's my rant #thanks so much for the ask anon asks really do mean the world to me and I love responding to them #ask #ts crit #ts criticism #ts critical

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butterflydm · 8 days ago

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Overthinking the leaked casting for s3

wotseries.com posted another (rumored) casting for s3 a couple of weeks ago and it prompted me to go through all our known casting so far and (probably) do some overthinking (plus, the last time I Did Speculation, we got some new info very soon afterwards, so maybe that will happen again, lol):

Our new casting spoiler is Ann Ogbomo, a British actress who was part of the South Africa filming cast (which was used for both Rhuidean and Tanchico, I believe). So she could be Aiel, or one of the flashback characters, or a character in Tanchico.

She seems too old to be Tuon (otoh, Tuon might get aged up and sorta combined with Tylin in the sense of being an ~older woman~ for Mat? The books never really did anything interesting with Tuon looking younger than she was, and her being older would make her more experienced as a sul'dam), but could possibly be Egeanin or another Black Ajah Sister in Tanchico.

Other 'recent' (since the last time I posted about it) castings are Cameron Jack, Fredrik Wagner, and Michael Lindall. We don't really know anything about what Fredrik might have filmed but it looked like Michael filmed on the Two Rivers set. Cameron Jack is an actor who looks to have potentially filmed during both the Czech Republic and the South African stints of filming.

We got our first official casting of a Sea Folk character in Carmela Bonomi as Jorin din Jubai (who has a good rapport with Elayne during their time together in the books, and is the reason that Elayne figures out that the Windfinders can channel). Given the director she worked with, it sounds like she's in 3x5 and/or 3x6 -- if we meet the Sea Folk in 3x5 and then leave with them from Tanchico in 3x6, this backs up the idea that maybe our Tanchico kiddos will reunite with Rand's side of the storyline in 3x7 & 3x8 (maybe in Tear). My current speculation of "2 episodes together; 4 episodes in the Waste/Tanchico; 2 episodes together" still sounds like it could be valid (except for Perrin, of course, who would still be in the Two Rivers at the end of the season), and gives Rand & Elayne and Lan & Nynaeve screen-time to spend together to build their relationships.

We also learned about Olivia Popica as Jeanine. She gets added to Liandrin's group of Black Ajah Sisters who are likely going to break out of the White Tower in ep1 (probably killing at least one Sister in the process) and then head to Tanchico to be part of Elayne & Nynaeve's storyline.

Total Black Ajah Sisters that will Probably go to Tanchico: Liandrin, Jeaine, Ispan, and Joiya. If Moghedien is also in Tanchico, I wonder if that's going to be the extent of our Black Ajah Sisters -- it probably would be good if the number of known BA Sisters didn't outnumber the number of known non-BA Sisters!

Other leaks that wotseries.com has mentioned before:

For Andor: Morgase (Olivia Williams), Elaida (Shohreh Aghdashloo), Galad (Callum Kerr) -- we will almost certain also have Gawyn here, since s2 confirmed his existence in the world of the show, but no casting leak yet. Shiaine (Raksha Hoost) might fit in here as well, though she might also be a Secret Character, since her identity gets taken over by a Darkfriend at some point, iirc.

We also have a listing for someone for Jaq Lounalt (Rob McLoughlin), who works for Arymilla in the latter books but might work for Jaichim Carridan (Jared Doreck) in the earlier ones? He's a Darkfriend, at any rate. Might appear in a couple of potential places. Carridan is in Tanchico working with Liandrin & co in TSR, so they might both be there.

For 2R/Perrin: Faile (Isabella Bucceri), Jac al'Seen (Paul A Maynard), and Marin al'Vere's actress is now Rina Mahoney.

For Aiel/Rand: Maigran, da'shain Aiel (Tereza Duskova), Latra, older version (Ania Marson), Solina, Aes Sedai during the Breaking (Thandi Sebe) - these all seem likely to feature in the glass columns sequence.

For the White Tower: Lelaine (Rebecca Root)

We also got a leak that an actor named Robert Strange shot for the show and this is interesting because he's a creature actor and has played several non-human characters in his career (that said, he is also very tall, and so might be an Aiel). But thanks to @markantonys for noticing that he's mainly a creature actor, because otherwise I would have fixated on his height and assumed Aiel! But given that he does act as a lot of creatures, I feel like he's a strong candidate for a Finn.

Then we have a bunch of leaks that aren't attached to a particular role:

Diêm Camille (5'9" - maybe Aiel?)

Nuno Lopes (I've seen spec that he's one of the Forsaken)

Luke Fetherston (seen spec that he's Luc)

Nukâka Coster-Waldau (I suspect an Aes Sedai)

Björn Landberg (6'6" - maybe Aiel? taller than Josha)

Synnøve Macody Lund (6' - maybe Aiel?)

Clare Dunne (5'9" - maybe Aiel?)

Salóme Gunnarsdóttir (5'7" - maybe Aiel?)

Clare-Hope Ashitey (has been nominated for several acting awards)

And other potential cast who are more tenuously suspected:

Iman Marson (looks young, maybe 2R character?)

Ian Atwiine (also pretty young; maybe 2R character?)

Ferdinand McKay (very little info)

Kiren Kebaili-Dwyer (6' - maybe Aiel? maybe 2R)

Diana Dulinkova (5'7" - maybe Aiel?)

Natasha Culzac (6'1" freckled redhead - Aiel?)

Lots of potential new characters. Nothing that I've seen disproves my most recent speculation about s3, though that can change quickly.

#wot s3 speculation #wot #wheel of time #wot on prime #wot book spoilers #the shadow rising #wot s3 spoilers #winter's heart #for one specific character who imo SHOULD be introduced now #even if they weren't introduced this early in the books

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buckysmischief · 9 months ago

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old foes, new flames (no one knows me like you do)

druig x f!reader

wc: 11.4k

summary: You and Druig were childhood friends, never one without the other, but that all ended when he got a girlfriend and things changed. Eventually it was too much to be hear him and at the first opportunity you had, you left town. Years later, an invitation to Wanda's wedding brought you back and nothing was the same.

warnings: while this story doesn't have any outright explicit content there are mentions of drinking, smoking, and sexual innuendos. minors please do not interact. angsty, stubborn idiots, fluffy ending.

an: I went a little out of my comfort zone with this one, I really hope you enjoy it. feedback is much appreciated :)

m a s t e r l i s t

Going back to the place you grew up wasn't something you ever wanted to do again. But when Wanda, one of your childhood best friends called and asked you to be the maid of honor in her wedding. How could you say ‘no’?

It was a super last minute thing. She hasn't been with the guy very long at all. But when Pietro said he didn't have any concerns you decided against calling in a welfare check.

"So she didn't tell you who he is?" Yelena asked.

"No, She did. I just forgot his name and I'm too stubborn to ask." You laughed out, "All I remember is that she met him a few months ago at her college graduation party and that he's super hot."

You and Yelena were roommates freshman year and the rest was history. It was a rare occasion you were apart. So when Wanda said you could bring a plus one, well, Yelena was the obvious choice. It’s not like you were dating anyone and could bring them, not that you would want to bring anyone you were dating back to that place anyways. She wasn't excited about the four hour train ride but you were. Not having to drive and having the opportunity to move around, even just to stretch, was preferable.

“So,” She asked you, with an hour of the ride left, "do you think he's going to be there? I remember you said he was her friend growing up too."

"I didn't ask. She only told me that it's in a few days and that she already has my dress picked out." The neighborhood you grew up in didn't have a lot of kids your age, just you and three others. Wanda, her twin brother Pietro, and a quiet boy named Druig. You and him had a different connection than you did with the twins, for a long time you thought the two of you were inseparable. But as you got older he became more independent of the group, you tried to be happy for him and not take it personally but it was hard.

You even took it well when he announced he had a girlfriend. That was until she made a joke about you following Druig around like a lost puppy. Looking back on it it was naive of you to hope he’d defend you somehow, but it felt like a punch to the gut when he not only laughed but agreed with her.

After that the only time you spoke was when you were insulting each other. For a short while Wanda and Pietro felt like they had to pick a side but that was the last thing you wanted, Druig too. Thankfully there were only a few occasions where all of your paths crossed, but when they did you made sure to avoid him completely. There was no way you were going to be the reason things got too weird.

“Well if he is and he says anything out of line,” she cracked her knuckles, “I’ll handle it.”

You laughed under your breath, knowing how truthful her threat was, “Let’s just hope he’s forgotten I exist.”

The scenery started to get all too familiar and all your mind could focus on was the last time you were here. You left a few days after graduation with no thoughts of returning, if it was anyone else but Wanda asking you to come back the idea wouldn’t have even been entertained.

Her and Pietro were the ones to drive you to the train station and it was obvious they were very against the whole thing, but thankfully they let you go without a fuss. Pietro had let it slip that he had invited Druig, in hopes of reconciliation or something, but you knew he wouldn’t. Not after what you had said to him the night before.

“Who’s there?” You woke up to the sound of rocks being thrown at your bedroom window.

There wasn’t an answer but you heard the leaves from the tree being rustled. Whoever it was had definitely done this before.

“Wanda? Pietro? Please tell me it’s one of you just trying to scare me.”

“Afraid not.”

You’d recognize that voice anywhere. “What are you doing Druig? Shouldn’t you be climbing out of someone else’s window and not into mine?”

He had finally made his way up the tree and onto the branch that had grown perfectly level with the window. The last time he did that felt like a lifetime ago, there was no reason for him to be doing that now. You didn’t want him there. Unfortunately for you he was climbing in before the words “you need to leave” could finish coming out of your mouth.

Druig looked around, “Everything still looks the same.”

“Not everyone changes their whole personalities overnight.”

He picked up a picture frame you had hanging on the wall. It was from your thirteenth birthday, in it you were with Wanda, Pietro and Druig at the top of a ferris wheel. You weren’t angry enough at him to rip him out of the photo though, but you were upset enough to put a sticky note over his face. “My mom still has this photo on the mantel, I’ve begged her for years to take it down.”

“How a saint like Ajak could raise a devil like you is something I’ll never understand.” Did he practically break into your bedroom just to be a dick? “Why are you here, Druig?”

“I heard from a little bird that you were flying the nest, never to return.” He put the photo back where he found it and walked over to your bed, sitting on the edge of it. “I wanted to say goodbye.”

Out of habit, you followed him across the room and sat beside him. You told yourself it was so you didn’t have to talk as loud, not wanting your parents to wake up, but deep down you knew it was muscle memory. “Usually that obligation is to the people who actually like the person that’s leaving.”

You noticed his eyes were glossed over, and you were close enough to him that you could smell the beer on his breath. Did he really have the nerve to show up in your room after all that had happened, while intoxicated, to talk about you leaving?

“Yeah, well..” Druig was usually so quick witted, you couldn’t put your finger on it (nor did you care to) but something was off about him, “it just took me by surprise. I never thought any of us would leave this place.”

He didn’t say it in a rude way, but something about him saying it at all made part of your brain short circuit. “You don’t know me Druig, not anymore. You treat me like shit for three years and show up here in the middle of the night for what? To make a pointless comment about a photograph and act sad that I’m leaving? You’re the reason I’m leaving! I can’t stand to be in this zip code wondering if I’m going to run into you, who you’ll be with, and what taunts you and your friends will throw my way.

“I have a long list of reasons why I want to leave and never come back, and since I’m too tired to tell you the rest of them just know that they all begin with you.” Somehow you had managed to get that all out without raising your voice or shedding a single tear and yet it didn’t make you feel better. You were so in your feelings that you missed the switch flip in Druig’s mind.

“I just came by to tell you that you’ll be back, you’re not special enough to leave this place for good. And when you do, I’ll be waiting to tell you ‘I told you so’.” His tone was cold and unforgiving, more than ever before.

He stood up and walked back to your window, but just before he climbed out he called your name. “Hey Yn..”

You snapped back, “What, Druig?”

“I’ll see you soon.”

It was midafternoon when you arrived at your parents house and it was already too much. Your mom wanted to show you all of the renovations before your bags ever touched the ground. Your dad wanted to show you the new pattern he mowed into the lawn, like you didn’t see it walking up to the front door.

“Mom, dad, I love you both so much and I can’t wait to see everything but give us like an hour to put our bags down and I don’t know, breathe?” You pleaded, hoping your parents would take into consideration the eight hour train ride you and Yelena just endured.

“Oh of course,” your dad agreed.

The two of you took that as the perfect time to walk up the stairs to your old bedroom, you had almost got to the top when your mom called for you. “Yn, I forgot to tell you. There’s a surprise waiting for you in your room.”

“Okay?” You replied, and then whispered to Yelena, “I’m scared, either she threw everything away and it’s unrecognizable or it’s a new pillow or something.”

“ME first!” Yelena barged past you, throwing the door nearly off its hinges before letting out a sound somewhere between a cat being murdered and a burglar alarm. You watched in slow motion as she flung her bag towards the window where a human shaped object fell out of it.

“What the fuck was that!?” You shouted at her as you both ran to the open window. There was a man laying on the lawn sprawled on his side.

“Oh look,” Yelena nudged your elbow with hers, “your dad’s lawn looks great!”

“I knew I liked you!” You could hear your dad yell from the front porch. “Druig, son? Is that you? Why are you laying on the lawn? You’re going to mess up the pattern.”

“Druig?” You asked in a panic to no one in particular. “Oh my god, Yelena! You killed Druig!”

The look on her face was blank, like she was wondering if she should care. “No, it was self defense. He deserved it.”

“Murder is murder Yelena!”

“Honey, we don't have the right insurance to cover up a murder.” Your mom chimed in from the doorway.

“Nope,” you heard a groan, “Still alive. A little less high than I was five minutes ago, but alive.”

“What are you doing down there?” You yelled to him, grateful he was alive but suddenly pissed off that he was there to begin with.

“So you’re like this because of your parents, not in spite of them.” Yelena said, the puzzle pieces finally clicking into place.

You ignored her and ran down the stairs and out the front door. As much as you wanted to make sure he was okay, you also wanted him gone as soon as he could stand. There was no way you were giving your parents yet, apparently, another chance of letting him in the house.

He started to sit up as you made your way out of the front door, so you asked him again, “What are you doing here, Druig?”

He took another minute to get up and wipe himself free of a few leaves and branches he took down with him. You couldn’t help but notice how his hair was longer, something you always told him he could pull off. How dare he take your advice when you weren’t around to gloat about it? And were those… Did he get tattoos?

Yelena nudged you again to get your attention, dragging you away from thoughts you shouldn’t have been having, just in time for Druig to walk up to you both. “I wanted to be the first to welcome you home…to be the one to remind you that I told you so.” He smirked, “Look who’s back.”

“Leave.” You demanded. “Leave now and leave me alone. I’m here until Wanda says ‘I do’ and then I’m going back home where I don’t have to see you ever again.”

Durig’s eyes never left yours and the smirk had grown to a full on grin. “Oh this is perfect. She didn’t tell you?” Then he looked at Yelena and laughed, “She didn’t tell her!”

You crossed your arms in annoyance, “Who didn’t tell me what?”

“Wanda. She didn’t tell you who she’s marrying?” You shook your head in confusion, waiting for him to say he was the groom even though you knew that wasn’t the case. “She’s getting married to my best friend, Bucky. So can you guess what that makes me?”

You tried your best to hold it in but a slew of “fucks” fell out of your mouth. You heard your mother shouting from inside that you could put a sailor to shame but you didn’t care. Of course Wanda was so vague with the details, she knew you’d politely decline the maid of honor (and maybe the invitation all together) position if you knew the truth. “The best man.”

“The BEST best man, actually. I beat Pietro in a race for it.”

“You’re mistaking me for someone who cares.” All the years of therapy didn’t do a damn thing. Well, you didn’t punch him so maybe it helped a little. “I’m going to call Wanda and talk to her about this. You’re welcome to walk in traffic, or don’t, I don’t really care. Just.. leave, please.”

You didn’t walk far, Druig didn’t show any sign of leaving and as much as you wanted her to, you couldn’t let Yelena hurt him again. Or threaten to hurt him again, because she would and the next time wouldn’t be an accident.

Wanda sent you to voicemail three times, so either she was super busy or she knew that you knew, so you texted her instead.

Yn: Hey! I’m back. When are we meeting up? I want to meet your future husband and hear all about how you met and how grossly in love you are! We can talk about all you need me to do, who is all in the wedding party. More specifically the best man. Do I know him?

She responded almost instantly.

Wanda: Oh good, I’m so glad you made it safe! I can swing by in an hour if that works for you?

Yn: That works. Are you going to avoid my questions then too?

Wanda: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Yn: When did Druig get tattoos?

Wanda: I’ll be there in 5

You put your phone back in your pocket and walked back down the walkway where Yelena was obviously running out of patience. There was a part of you that wanted to ask her to go inside so you could talk to him in private, he was always less of a dick head when others weren’t around, while the other part of you wasn’t in a hurry to be alone with him at all. “Wanda said she’s going to be here in five minutes, is there a reason you’re still here or do you get off on being somewhere you’re not wanted?”

He glanced back in your direction, his eyes locked with yours. “She might not want me here,” he pointed at Yelena and then to you, “but you do. You can tell yourself whatever lie you want, Yn, but you’ve never been able to lie to me.”

Before you got a chance to tell him where he could shove the finger he was pointing at you, Wanda had pulled into the driveway. She walked up to Yelena before ever meeting your eyes, she made sure she positioned herself perfectly when she gave Yelena a hug and asked her how the trip was, her back facing you.

“Yeah, yeah. You two missed each other, I love that for you both.” You were getting slightly impatient. Between waking up early, traveling, not getting a chance to relax, Druig and Wanda stalling, you felt like you were going to explode. “Can someone who isn’t Druig please fill in the gaps for me?”

Wanda turned to give you a look of sympathy, then spoke to Druig. “Bucky’s home, he’s waiting for you.”

“He’ll be fine,” he began to walk away, but turned to give you one last look, “I had a promise to fulfill.”

Thankfully Wanda had jumped right in and explained everything, from how she met Bucky to the Druig of it all. Apparently Druig introduced them and it was love at first sight, you ignored the voice in your head telling you that this was his plan all along. That he knew short of a funeral, the only way you’d come back was Wanda getting married. You would be giving him way too much credit if you actually entertained that thought.

“I’m sorry,” Wanda said, pulling you out of your thoughts, “you said once that he was tolerable now and I just kind of assumed it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“Yeah, because I live in a different time zone, not because he’s a tolerable person!” You pouted. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m here for your big day not to make you feel bad. The wedding is in what, three days? I can handle being around him for three days, but only because it’s you.”

“I’m glad you feel that way because,” she hesitated for a moment and then braced for impact, “he’s going to be helping you set everything up in the backyard, Bucky put Druig’s name down to accept everything as it gets dropped off just in case you got delayed arriving.”

“That’s, that’s fair.” You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. “So what can I do for you now that I’m here?”

Wanda smiled and hugged you, excited that you weren’t upset with her. Not like you ever could be. “I just need you to come over at some point tomorrow to try on the dress and I’ll give you the itinerary for Friday and Saturday then. Friday is pretty much just you and Druig setting everything up and then Saturday I basically just need you at my side.”

It could have been worse, all you really had to get through was Friday, and Yelena being there would give you a distraction. You would only have to be around him for a minimal amount of time the day of the wedding if you played your cards right. At least that’s what you thought.

“Yelena,” Wanda said in a hopeful tone, “you can help Yn on Friday if you want but if you don’t feel like being a human buffer, my brother is driving to the city to pick up a few cases of wine and I’m sure he would enjoy your company.”

She knew what she was doing. She knew Pietro and Yelena had some weird unspoken thing. You were on Facetime with Wanda one night and she was with her brother, Yelena had gotten home and popped in to say hi to Wanda and then gave her full focus to Pietro. You ended up giving her his number before they completely hijacked the call.

They texted all the time but never talked about meeting in person. To your knowledge she didn’t tell him she was coming to the wedding, and you suspected Wanda had kept it a secret too. Yelena was never the serious relationship type, but you had a feeling if anyone could change that it was Pietro.

She looked at you, silently asking if you’d mind. Of course you did, but you weren’t going to hold her (or anyone) back because of your personal issues with someone. “Go and hang out with Pietro, I’ll be fine.”

“You sure? Because,” she paused, “I texted him when we got here and we already have potential plans. I was waiting to see what your schedule looked like before we made anything official.”

“Tomorrow too?”

“He wanted to show me around but since you’re free most of the day I was just going to push that to Friday.”

You thought about it for a moment, going over your options. The selfish part of you wanted to see if you could just be the third wheel for the day, but since you didn’t really make plans outside of helping with the wedding you decided it wasn’t fair to do that. You got to see Yelena everyday, if she was comfortable going off gallivanting with Pietro then you weren’t going to get in the middle of it. Maybe they’d be the next ones to have a last minute wedding. “No, you go and have fun! It’ll probably take my mom half the day to show me all the changes to the house, I can entertain myself after that.”

“Well that sounds depressing.” Wanda chimed in.

You laughed and rolled your eyes at her, “Do you really think I have the attention span for that? No, I’m going to walk around and be nostalgic. See where I end up. Nothing super dramatic.”

“Oh good, we wouldn’t want that.” It was her turn to roll her eyes at you. “If you want, you’re more than welcome to run errands with me.”

“No offense, but I’d rather spend the day with Druig. I don’t even like running my own errands.” You all couldn’t help but laugh at that.

After that Wanda had gotten a call from Bucky, something about the cake. She excused herself, reminding you that her offer still stood, and you and Yelena went back in the house.

The next morning Yelena woke you up, letting you know that she was leaving. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

You sat up to check the time, 8:07, there was no point trying to go back to sleep. “Yeah I don’t care, I”m going to get ready and head out soon too. Text me if Pietro gets weird, I’ll call you and fake an emergency or something.”

She knew you meant it, and you knew you wouldn’t have to do it.

Over the next hour you ate breakfast with your parents and indulged them when they asked if they could show you everything finally. Again. When the tour was over you quickly got ready and rushed out the door before they found a way to keep you inside all day.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to spend time with them, you did. It was just that you knew they wanted you to move back home and you didn’t want to give them the chance to bring it up. It was easy for them to let you go the first time, they were under the impression you’d come back when you decided you weren’t going for your bachelor’s degree. That was three years ago and their “subtlety” of convincing you to come back was getting more and more obvious.

But of course when you dodge one bullet another one comes flying, or however that saying goes. Druig was in your parents driveway. Scratch that, Druig and his motorcycle were in your parents driveway. “Finally, I’ve been waiting for you for 20 minutes.”

“Did I wake up in a reality where I asked?”

He swung one leg over the bike and put on his helmet, offering you an extra one. “I heard you don’t have any plans today.”

Damn Wanda. She told him on purpose.

Your curiosity got the better of you, “And you made some for us?”

“No, but you can accompany me to mine.” Was a smirk permanently plastered on his face? It infuriated you to no end. Unfortunately, for no one but you, it also made him super attractive.

“Fuck you.”

“You weren’t on my to do list today but I can add you to it if you want.” Did he really just say that?

“Excus-” The sound of his bike roaring to life cut you off. You couldn’t make out what he said after that, but he extended his arm and offered you the helmet again.

Both of you were a bit surprised when you took it. You had never been on a motorcycle before so when Druig grabbed your hands and put them around his waist you flinched away from him. “Do you want to fall off?”

Obviously not. “Fine. But just know-”

“That what? Being this close to me drives you crazy?” He grabbed your hands and put him around his waist again, holding them a little tighter than he did before. “You’ll get over it.”

He revved his bike, probably so he didn’t have to hear yet another response to another one of his slick comments, and began to drive through the neighborhood. You had no idea where he was taking you and was slightly too afraid to open your eyes to guess.

For the first time since you found out it was him who fell out of your window you started to wonder why you were entertaining Druig and his antics. Was it for Wanda’s sake? Could therapy be working more than you thought? Maybe the distance had allowed you to outgrow him enough for it to not hurt anymore. Two things you decided that you knew for sure was that time and distance made you forget the feelings you had for him, and having to hold onto him for dear life solidified that they were back.

After what felt like an eternity, you felt the bike turn right and slow down. Only when it was no longer moving and had gone silent did you feel safe enough to open your eyes.

“You don’t gotta stop holding me,” he put a hand on your thigh and gently squeezed it a couple of times, “but you gotta let go of me long enough for us both to get off.”

Feelings be damned, his cocky attitude brought you back to reality. You let go of him and got your feet on the ground as quickly as you could. “You wish. So, where are we?”

If you took a moment to look around before you asked, it would have been obvious. “When did they close it down?”

“Last year.” The movie theater was your favorite place to be growing up. Not just because of the movies you saw there, but because of the easily accessible roof that you and everyone your age would hang out on after your respectable movies were over. Before things got weird between you two, you and Druig were attached at the hip and the roof was your favorite spot to hang out. After things got weird, you stopped going as much and eventually not at all. You never knew if he continued to go or not. “But they never took down the ladder.”

He gestured for you to go first but you stood there frozen. “Why are we doing this? Why did you bring me here?”

“Can we both just cut the act for a bit? I’m not used to it anymore.” His tone was laced with exhaustion.

As much as you related to his words, old habits do die hard. “Then take me home, wouldn’t want you getting used to being around me.”

He pointed from you to the ladder again, “Climb the damn ladder, Yn.”

You complied, convincing yourself you were only doing so out of pure curiosity.

When you got to the top you realized why Druig wanted you up there so badly. There was a huge blanket spread out with nice outdoor furniture set up around a cooler and a picnic basket. A lot of thought seemed to go into what was obviously a last minute thing, but you wondered why it was a thing at all. Why would he want to spend more time together than necessary?

“Take a seat,” he put his hand on the small of your back, encouraging you to once again take the lead, “it took Pietro way too long to get these up here.”

You took a seat on one of the chairs while Druig took the one across from you, but not before almost taking the one beside you. “You would make him do all the work.”

“That’s not what I said.” He began to take out food from the picnic basket, attentively placing what looked to be sandwiches, chips, and sweets out on the table. Your favorites. “You have a habit of taking everything I say the wrong way.”

“I do not.”

He grabbed two drinks out of the cooler, handing you one and keeping the other for himself. “Okay, not always. But to be fair he offered to do most of the heavy lifting, something about getting a workout in before meeting up with that scary friend of yours. And I made the food.”

“I can’t wait to tell Yelena you think she’s scary. “ You said before you took a bite of your sandwich.

“Oh I’m sure she knows, someone doesn’t get to be that terrifying by accident.”

Conversation stayed light for the rest of the time you ate, from what you majored in to the auto repair shop he opened a few years ago. It felt nice to just talk to him again without any hostility, like it used to when things were normal. Being in a secluded environment was the key, you doubted it would be that easy at the wedding while being around so many people who were secretly waiting to see which one of you take things too far first.

Then Druig had to go and ruin it. “So can we talk about it now?”

“Talk about what?”

His eyes came close but they wouldn’t quite meet yours. “About how we went from being inseparable to me having to beg Wanda for updates on your life.”

If Druig was right about anything, it was you taking what he had to say the wrong way. “Are you fucking serious? You don’t remember?”

“What? No I meant-”

You stood up and walked towards the ladder, “I don’t care, I really don’t. I’m leaving. Unfortunately I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Stop.” He grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you in closer by your hips. “I remember exactly what happened. I was about to apologize for it.”

The way the light hit his blue eyes had you hypnotized. “I'm listening.”

“If either of us was a lost puppy it was me. I didn’t realize it at first, not until I found out you were leaving. I showed up at the twins house to tell them my revelation, begging them to tell me what I could do to make things right.” His train of thought was all over the place but so was your concentration. His left hand was still on your hip while his right had traveled its way up to your cheek. “Wanda told me your plans, Pietro said I should show up and tell you everything. It felt selfish to tell you something so heavy after finding out how excited you were to leave, I always thought things would just somehow go back to normal in college or something..

“So I drank my feelings and showed up at your house. I said something that hurt your feelings, again, and you snapped and I said some fucked up shit. I went to tell you that I loved you and ended up doing the exact opposite.”

If he said anything after that your brain didn’t register it. You only had water but it felt like you drank a whole bottle of wine. Before you knew it your hands were pulling his face closer to yours, closing the small amount of distance there was between you.

His lips on yours felt foreign, yet welcoming. More than.

The way one of his hands comfortably held your jaw while the other was tangled in your hair sent a fire through you that you had never felt before. When his tongue swiped over your lips you knew you were a goner, he swallowed the soft moan that escaped your lips. Druig had made you feel a lot of things over the years but in that moment he made you feel at home.

“Stop,” you put your hand on his chest and pushed away, forcing space between you. “This can’t happen.”

You didn’t stay to hear him out, but that didn’t stop him from following you down the ladder and begging to understand what just happened.

“Yn, talk to me! What the fuck happened up there?” You both walked past his bike and down the sidewalk. There wasn’t anywhere you were walking to exactly, you just wanted to get as far away from the moment as you could. “Did I do something you didn’t want me to?”

There was something in his voice that made you stop. “No, really no. But this,” you gestured between the two of you, “can’t happen. I’m only here for two more days and-”

“Then stay.”

“It’s not that simple, Druig.”

“Why not?” He pleaded with you, asking a question you didn’t even know the answer to.

“Look, I promise to act normal tomorrow and for the wedding, I won’t tell anyone, Wanda will have the wedding she deserves and me and Yelena will go back home and you’ll never hear from me again!”

He scoffed and you swore you could feel him roll his eyes, “Can you stop being so dramatic?”

You ignored him the rest of the way back to your parents house. Eventually he stopped trying to get your attention, the only indication of his being behind you was the sound of gravel crunching beneath his boots.

Instead of paying him any mind you brainstormed of non life threatening illnesses you could quickly expose yourself to so you had a perfectly reasonable excuse to be a horrible friend to Wanda and miss her and Bucky’s wedding. The answer was none.

After what felt like hours and many blisters later, you and Druig eventually made it back to your childhood home. Much to your surprise though, a familiar car was in the driveway. “Pietro?”

Before you got halfway up the driveway a blur of silver hair came out of nowhere and picked you up into a tight bear hug, almost tackling you to the ground. “Yn, I’ve missed you so much! How did your date with Druig go? I didn’t think I’d get to see you until later.”

“My what?” You pulled yourself out of his grasp. “Is that what he told you it was?”

“No?” He admitted, obviously confused. “I just figured you both decided to stop being stubborn and were ready to admit your feelings for eachother.”

“I did.” Druig said proudly, “I think it’s physically impossible for her to stop being stubborn though, probably would combust or something.”

“That sounds more thrilling than being here right now.”

“Told you.”

Before you could get another smart ass word in, Yelena had finally come outside. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” you lied, “I was too afraid to get back on Druig’s bike so we walked back. He was just saying goodbye.” You walked into the house and went straight to your room, ignoring the worried questions of your parents. You got to your window in time to see the guys back out of your driveway, probably on their way to Druig’s bike.

You were worried Yelena would have a hundred questions about what had happened, but that was silly. She knew how to work through your issues when you couldn’t. When Yelena found you in your room she came with the only thing that could stand a chance at putting you in a better mood (no matter the season), hot chocolate.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” she reminded you, handing you one of the mugs she held, “but Pietro filled me in on some things that have happened since you left. He said he’ll come back later if you want.”

“Yes,” you grumbled, “but not if he wants to talk about him.”

“I’ll let him know.”

While you waited for Pietro, and dinner, you listened to Yelena as she told you about her day. As she spoke about all that Pietro had shown her, you noticed how much she really liked him. You had never heard someone talk so highly of Pietro. Hell, you have never heard Yelena talk highly of anyone, ever. She didn’t outright say it, and you didn’t dare bring it up, but you could tell it was going to be really hard for her to leave.

As much as you hated to admit it, so obviously you planned to take it to the grave, you were going to too.

It was that one thought that you let slip through the cracks that caused a mental avalanche. Flashes of you afternoon with Druig, all of the hurtful things he said and did when you were younger, him following you home, remembering you still have two more days with him, thoughts of what things could be like if you stayed…

Yelena never noticed how zoned out you got, but Pietro did.

He stood in the doorway, taking both of you off guard. “You’ve both been so lost in your own worlds, neither of you noticed me standing here for five minutes.”

“You’re an adult,” you stood up to take the boxes of pizza out of his hands, “you could have said something.”

“I figured one of you would have noticed the smell of pizza.”

Yelena opened the first box and looked disgusted, “Because this isn’t pizza. It’s buffalo chicken on pizza dough.”

“Ah but you said pizza dough, so you admit by default it's a pizza.” He replied to her in the flirtiest manner you had ever seen. He was absolutely smitten with her as well.

“You better have gotten something we like too.” You added for no other reason than to remind them you were still there.

The rest of the night flew by too quickly. After dinner the three of you went to the backyard, it was too nice not to enjoy it. The apartment you shared with Yelena didn’t have a yard of any kind, but at least it had a decent sized patio balcony. But even then your neighbors got really weird if you and, or Yelena were out there too late. Not weird like leaving passive aggressive notes on your front door or anything, you almost wished they did, but instead they would lean over the wall that separated you and would insert themselves in the middle of whatever you were doing.

That wasn’t something you weren’t used to though. Even though the distance between your childhood home and the neighbors was pretty spacious, that didn’t stop your friends from just showing up in your backyard. It didn’t matter if you were home or not, it never bothered you.

It only bothered you when it stopped.

“I miss this place.” You whispered. You didn’t even realize you said it outloud until Pietro asked you to repeat yourself.

“I said there’s too much space.”

“That’s not what you said.” He accused, the gears clearly turning in his head. “What would it take to get you back here?”

You didn’t quite know what the right answer was, so you just said the only thing you knew for sure. “If Yelena isn’t a stone’s throw away from me then I might die. Do you want me to die, Pietro?”

“If that’s the case,” Yelena quickly added, “our lease is up soon. I wouldn’t mind moving here with you, I like it here.”

“You like a guy here, that’s not the same thing.”

“Don’t pretend that that’s not the same reason why you do and don’t want to move back.”

“Yele-”

“No,” she cut you off, “someone had to say it to you. Pietro said you liked him and I didn’t believe him until yesterday and again today. The way you talked about him I truly believed you hated him, but the way you look at him.. The way he looks at you! The way you talk to each other, even. Your parents even see it! He took you on a date, he quite literally told you he loves you! What’s holding you back?”

“It just feels like another set up!” You blurted out. “I feel like the second I admit how I feel, Druig and his friends are going to all come out of nowhere like we’re on an episode of Punk’d or something.”

“You couldn’t,” Pietro laughed out so hard he had to fight to catch his breath, “ahh, you’re hilarious.”

That didn’t do anything but annoy you. “Can you stop laughing at me and find your words?”

“I’m sorry,” he took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes, “it’s just that you couldn’t be more wrong. Druig hasn’t hung out with that crown since we graduated, he only hangs out with me, Wanda, Bucky, and the guys at the shop. And your parents sometimes.”

“My parents?” They never mentioned him.

“We all do, we basically grew up in your backyard. They’ve always been like second parents to us. One more thing,” he moved from his seat to sit directly in front of you, “if he ever sets you up to look or feel stupid again, I’ll knock his teeth out.”

“Only if you beat me to it.” Yelena stood up, ready to defend your honor then and there.

Pietro stood again from his seat, sizing her up. “Is that a challenge?”

“Ew stop flirting in front of me,” you stood up too and told them you’d be leaving, “I got to go to Wanda’s to try on my dress. I’ll think about what you said on the way there, you two have fun and if I don’t see either of you before your mini road trip, please be safe!”

When you got to Wanda’s house it was slightly after 9pm and thankfully it was just her and Bucky. He seemed really nice, you understood almost immediately how Wanda had fallen in love so quickly. There was something about the way they were just so genuine with each other, you had never seen Wanda so happy with someone. You were so distracted by them that you almost forgot why you were there, the dress.

It was a floor length lavender dress with a short flutter sleeve, thankfully it wasn’t anything crazy. Somehow Wanda did indeed get the perfect fit. You hung it back in her closet for Saturday and went back into the living room so spend more time with the happy couple.

Throughout the night Bucky kept mentioning how he wished there was more time to get to know you better and how Wanda was so excited you were there. Neither one of them mentioned Druig. There was no way they didn’t know what happened earlier, and you’d be surprised if Pietro didn’t call Wanda the moment you left. Whatever they wanted to talk about, they weren’t going to initiate it. At least, not out right.

“You’ve never been so quiet.” Wanda stated. “Do you want to talk about something?”

“I can step out if you need some privacy.” Bucky added.

“No,” you told the both of them, “when I’m done processing I’ll let you know.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

When you got to Wanda’s the next day neither her or Bucky were there like you hoped they’d be. It was just going to be you and Druig, who was already in the backyard, and you desperately wished Yelena would have taken pity on you and not go with Pietro. But you swore to her at least ten times the night before that she was fine and you could handle it.

You were wrong.

The tension could have been cut with a knife. You both tried to stay away from each other if you could, but when you couldn’t things were tense. It was obvious that he wanted to say something, he only spoke to you when it was necessary though.

After he would put a table in its designated spot you would go behind him and place the chairs. Since it was a small backyard wedding, the couple decided against the traditional seating for the ceremony and just have everyone sit at their designated table instead. Their backyard was big enough so no matter what it wouldn’t be too crowded.

When he was done you expected him to start the next project, but when you went to grab more chairs he was already bringing more your way. “You don’t have to help me.”

“But I want to.” You wanted to tell him that he can’t always get what he wants but you opted to just let him do what he wanted.

When that was done two men started to bring back the pieces to the arch and put it together. The flowers were going to be delivered the next morning, so once you knew it was correctly assembled you snuck inside for a moment to yourself before the next project.

All of the silence gave you time to actually think and process all that had come to light, and the longer you thought about it and really thought about what Pietro had said you knew you had to make a decision.

There was no real point in going back home other than to get your things, the lease would be up in just over a month. You and Yelena were going to renew it when you got back but you had no obligation to do that. There was no doubt that your parents would let the both of you stay with them until you found a house close by. That was if Yelena didn’t move in with Pietro, which you would absolutely love and support.

You and Yelena had talked about it some when you got back the night before, she told you that she didn’t expect to want to stay but she did. Admitting that you felt the same way was like admitting defeat at the end of the night you both agreed to think about it and talk about it again after the wedding.

If someone were to have told you the week before that you’d be back in your hometown, hanging out with Druig, thinking about moving back - you would have suggested they seek professional help. You never would have guessed that you’d be standing in the middle of Wanda and her future husband’s kitchen thinking about what to do about the Druig of it all.

“Hey,” he walked into the kitchen as if your thoughts of him summoned him there, “we just have to hang the lights around the trees and the arch. Did you want to take a break and order lunch?”

“Yeah that’s fine, get me whatever you’re getting. I’ve got cash.”

“Pizza good? And don’t worry about it, it’s a ‘thank you’ from the happy couple for all our hard work.” He pulled out his phone and put in the order. The two of you weren’t standing too close, but it felt like he was the center of gravity and was trying to pull you in. When he was done and walked out of the kitchen to the living room you followed, your younger self would have been disgusted.

Everything became too much at once, so many decisions were unofficially made at once and the only one you didn’t have a solution to was less than five feet away from you. Even though you knew how he felt and what he wanted, you didn’t know how to say out loud that you felt the same. It wasn’t even something you admitted out loud to your therapist.

“I’ve decided I’m moving back.” You tried to stop yourself, you really did, but the awkward silence was getting out of hand.

He looked at you like you had three heads, “What? When?”

You knew what he really wanted to ask. “Probably in a month. I haven’t told anyone yet, I just decided about 15 minutes ago honestly.”

“Is Yelena moving too? Aren’t you two a packaged deal?” He leaned back in his seat, probably didn’t want to seem too eager or show how excited he was about your decision.

“Yes, well, kind of. She wants to move here too but I think her plans include Pietro more than they do me, which I’m totally fine with.” And you were, you wouldn’t have ever entertained the thought of moving anywhere if your best friend wasn’t going with you. Her having someone that makes her happy was more than worth it.

He smirked at your answer. “So Wanda and Bucky are getting married, Yelena and Pietro are going to be in a honeymoon phase of their own.. Where does that leave us?”

You knew he was going to bring it up eventually, you just hoped he would have waited until you unpacked your belongings first. “Why would there be an ‘us’?”

“We could be friends, we could be more, or we can just go back to ignoring each other. I just want to know so I can respect your boundaries.” He almost sounded sad, it surprised you how much it made your heart ache.

That made you want to talk out everything then and there, but fate had other plans. The doorbell rang and Druig stood up to go get the food. After he got back and you were done eating you had no idea how to bring up the subject again. You convinced yourself that it was fine, that talking it over with Wanda and Yelena first would help you sort your thoughts.

The rest of the decorating went pretty quickly, some of the things had to be done the next day so you volunteered to get up early and do those since you’d be spending the night at Wanda’s anyway.

Since the guest list was so small, Wanda and Bucky decided to pick one friend each to be their maid of honor and best man. Neither of them wanted to do anything crazy for their bachelor/ bachelorette parties either. Bucky and Druig were going to spend the night at Pietro’s doing whatever Bucky decided he wanted to do, and you and Yelena were staying with Wanda to have a spa/ movie night.

It was there, while the three of you were applying your mud masks, that you told them your decision. “So unless Druig opened his mouth and told you before I got to, I’m-”

“Finally dating Druig?!” Wanda interrupted, a little too excited.

“Ugh you too?” You threw yourself backwards on her living room floor. “No, I wanted to be the first to tell you and Yelena and I are moving back here next month.”

“WHAT?” She jumped from her stop on the couch and onto you. “This is the best wedding present ever! I can’t believe you’re coming back.”

“You’re crushing me, get off.” You laughed half seriously.

She got off of you and went to hug Yelena, “I’m so excited for us to spend more time together.”

“Me too.” Yelena smiled. You once worried about the possibility of them not getting along, so you were overjoyed that they had a bond separate from you.

The later it got and the more wine you drank, you felt more comfortable talking about the subject everyone (even your parents) wanted you to talk about: Druig.

“Are you going to date him?”

“Are you going to take it slow?”

“Is he a good kisser?”

“Does this mean we can do couples vacations now?”

“I bet you two are going to be the couple that is just obsessed with each other, but in a cute way.”

“Can you two let me decide my feelings first before you plan my wedding?” You didn’t even blame them for their questions and comments, there was a part of you that wanted to fully let loose and talk about how you’ve had a crush on him for as long as you could remember, but there was also a part of you that didn’t want to celebrate too soon.

“Decide??” Wanda emphasized dramatically, “Are you going to look at me in my face and pretend you’re not in love with him?”

Yelena was right behind her. “And he’s even told me he’s in love with you, too. So why aren’t you two together yet?”

“Because…”

“OH! I have an idea!” Wanda yelled and ran to her bedroom. When she came back she had your phone in her hand with Druig’s contact information open. “Call him and tell him how you feel.”

“No, this night is supposed to be about you. You call Bucky and gush to him about how much you love him.” She rolled her eyes at your comment and looked for Yelena to back her up.

To your surprise she actually backed you up. Well, technically. “No, Pietro sent a voice memo earlier and they’re all very drunk. A text might work though.”

“Or, and really hear me when I say this,” you suggested after finishing off another bottle, “I could just wait until after the wedding. That way you and Bucky can have your day and I can procrastinate this a little longer.”

“Ugh, fine. I’ve just been waiting for this since high school, seeing two of my best friends happy. Not pretending they hate each other anymore. I’m just so happy for you.” Wanda was drunk but you knew she meant every word she said.

For years she was in the middle of you and his hostility, even though you did everything you could so that she didn’t have to. You never badmouthed him to her, or even Pietro, but you knew they weren’t unaware it was happening. They knew it was something they couldn’t fix, but at the end of the day you were their friend and seeing you hurt, hurt them.

“No Wands, I’m happy for you.” With that, the three of you called it a night. The morning would be there before you knew it.

You woke up before anyone else and decided it was your job as maid of honor to make sure Wanda was taken care of until it was officially Bucky’s duty. There was no way you would be able to do that without caffeine so you pulled out your phone and ordered coffee and breakfast for the three of you before the flowers were scheduled to be delivered.

Yelena was the next to wake up. The two of you sat on the porch and talked about your plans for the move before Wanda woke up.

“So were you thinking about moving in with Pietro?” You got straight to the point, just like she had with you.

She looked at you in disbelief. “We just made things official, I need at least a year to get used to being so close to him before I think about that. You know how I am. Besides, I’m not ready for us to not be roommates yet. That’s too much change at once.”

You jokingly threw your head back and laughed, “Oh thank god, I feel the same way! About wanting to still be roommates and too much change. I feel like I’m going to make a mistake somehow.”

“Me too. But this feels like a step in a positive direction.” She put her hand in yours. “We’ve outgrown our apartment.”

“Yes, so naturally the next move is my parents house. I love that for us.” You said sarcastically.

That snapped her back to reality. “We’re looking for a place the minute we get on the train. I love your parents but I can’t be a recluse there, I need that time to myself or I’ll go insane.”

“Oh you don’t have to tell me twice, I fell asleep looking at places last night.”

The front door opened and a sleepy Wanda walked out, “Did anyone make coffee?”

“No,” you laughed at how well you knew her, “but in one minute a delivery driver will be here with some.”

She sat on the other side of you and rested her head on your shoulder, “You’re the best.”

Just like you predicted, a car had pulled up and a delivery boy stepped out with your breakfast. You nudged Wanda’s head with the shoulder she was leaning on so you could get up, “I know.”

From there the morning got unexpectedly chaotic. The flowers got delivered thirty minutes late and the person who was supposed to help you arrange them had apparently called out, so you spent longer than planned getting them all in their proper arrangements on each table and around the arch.

Time wise everything seemed to work itself out in the end. Wanda and Yelena were showered by the time you were done, but only just, meaning you would have been waiting for your turn anyways. To your surprise there was just enough hot water left for you to get through the shower, it only got cold at the very end.

When you stepped out of the bathroom you were faced with a new set of problems. Wanda’s blow dryer broke when she was almost done, leaving you and Yelena with wet hair and the risk of frizz.

“Let me make a call, y’all just start on make up.” You excused yourself and called the first person you thought of. “Druig?”

“Good afternoon, sunshine. I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon.”

You got so distracted with his flirting you almost forgot why you called. “I need a favor, are you busy?”

“I could never be too busy for you.”

You knew he could tell you were smiling by the sound of your voice. “Can you go over to my house and get my hair dryer? Wanda’s broke?”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

You thanked him and walked back to the guest bedroom to find more appropriate clothes. The last thing you needed was for him to see you in a towel, he would have found a way to bring it up the rest of the day.

When you went to check on Wanda and Yelena things finally seemed to be going smoothly. Yelena had never worn much makeup so she finished up pretty quickly. Wanda’s makeup style always depended on the occasion, and for her wedding she went for more of a non-makeup look. Her foundation was light and dewy while her eyes had a natural look to them. You had just got done helping her apply a set of very subtle eyelashes when you heard a knock at the door. “Be right back, y’all figure out what you’re doing with your hair.”

The walk to Wanda’s front door felt like it took ages to get to and once you got there you had to work up the courage to open it, but eventually you found it. “Hey, thank you again. I owe you one.”

“It’s no big deal.” He handed you the blow dryer and you ran it to the girls before joining him back on the porch. “Shouldn’t you be joining them?”

“They can wait.” You purposely stood a little too close to him, but not close enough for his gravity to pull you in again. Not fully at least. “I need to tell you something.”

It took all of his restraint not to close the gap between you. “You can tell me anything.”

“I’m sorry about the other day, I was feeling a lot of things at once and I reacted badly.”

That wasn’t what he was expecting you to say but he appreciated it all the same. “No, that was my bad, I threw too much at you at once.”

“No, it was beautiful, really.” You reassured him, “I’ve got to go, but meet me here after the ceremony, okay? There’s something else we need to talk about.”

He agreed, but before he left you both took a half step forward. You leaned your head in quicker than he did and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled his signature half smile and walked back to his bike, “That just told me all I needed to know, darling. I’ll see you soon.”

You smiled and went back inside before Wanda and Yelena got curious, the last thing you needed was to get thrown off schedule right as you had caught up.

When you walked back in, Wanda was curling her hair while Yelena was almost done blow drying hers. They were so caught up in the excitement that they never questioned who had dropped the blow dryer off and why you took a few minutes to come back in, not that you had a problem with that at all.

You had just finished your hair and make up when the caterers arrived, thankfully all you had to do was unlock the door. There was still an hour before the ceremony was scheduled to begin and even though Wanda’s dress wasn’t anything super extravagant, it had probably about one hundred buttons in the back and it took you a little longer than you anticipated. Yelena had taken pity on you and helped you out, giving you just enough time to get dressed before guests and the guys arrived.

“Alright, Pietro texted they should be here in two minutes. I’m going to make sure Bucky stays out back. You,” you pointed to Wanda, “stay away from the kitchen windows, I won’t have him sneaking a peek.”

“Aye, aye captain.” Her smile was so wide, she was barely able to contain her excitement.

Everything after that was a blur.

The guys ended up arriving before the guests. You supervised Druig and Bucky while they showed everyone to their seats and Pietro joined Yelena in making sure Wanda didn’t get impatient. At least that’s the reason he gave, you were sure he selfishly (yet understandably) wanted to be close to Yelena. Druig tried doing the same with you a few times but you kept finding opportunities to slip away before he got too close, not for any reason other than to watch him get worked up.

When it was time for Wanda to walk down the aisle everyone was in their designated seats, leaving you, Druig, Bucky and his other best friend Steve at the altar. You didn’t get a chance to talk to Steve much but according to Bucky they were basically brothers and he couldn’t imagine anyone else officiating his and Wanda’s wedding.

The vows were short and sweet but they still managed to leave everyone in tears, they had nothing but love and fondness for each other and everyone felt it. When Wanda talked about falling in love with Bucky, you felt a pair of eyes on you. You tried to keep your attention on her, but Druig’s orbit had pulled you in again. In what felt like no time at all, Steve had declared them Mr. and Mrs. Barnes and instructed them to kiss.

You and Druig followed their lead as they walked back up the aisle and into the house. The plan was for the wedding party to get their food and drinks and join everyone else back outside, Wanda wanted to wait to take pictures during the golden hour before sunset. It had always been her favorite time of day so you weren’t surprised.

“Hey,” you pulled her to the living room, “is it okay if me and Druig step out front for a few minutes?”

She practically shoved you out of the door. “Finally! I don’t care, as long as you're back for pictures.”

When it was just you and him again you felt nervous, like you weren’t in the same situation with him just hours before.

“So,” he started, “what did you want to talk about?”

He stood so close you almost forgot what you wanted to say.

“Us.” It came out as a whisper.

“Oh so there is an ‘us’?” He brought his face closer to yours, his voice lower than it was before, “Do tell me sweetheart, does this mean you won’t run away after I kiss you?”

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

He didn’t take the bait, which you were secretly thankful for. If he did, you two probably would have missed the rest of the party, and even if Wanda and Bucky would have understood you would have never forgiven yourself. “We can save that for later, we only have about ten minutes before we need to get back.”

You tried to suppress a laugh and failed, “You’re such an ass, you just want to hear me talk.”

“I do love hearing your voice.” He admitted.

“Stop flirting!” You gently pushed him back so you could focus better, “I know this is technically new, we haven’t even had a proper conversation about us yet but I’ve known how I’ve felt about you for my whole life. I hate that we spent so many years at each other’s necks and I’m sorry the only way for me to cope was leaving. I know moving back won’t make up for the years I was gone, but I’m hoping we can make up for lost time now.”

He took a moment to let your words sink in. You didn’t know it then, but he had half expected you to tell him you just wanted to be friends (which he would have been more than okay with). So when you all but told him you love him, he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or not.

“When do you move back?”

You weren’t expecting him to ask that, but answered him anyway. “We have about a month to get all of our things out, so I guess it depends on how fast we pack. Why?”

He grabbed your hands and pulled you into his chest, “Me and Pietro were talking about flying out to help you and Yelena pack, wanted to see if that would be okay with you first.”

“What?” You smiled at him, “Can’t go a few weeks without me?”

“I just got you back, I’ll go mad missing you.” You wanted to kick yourself for thinking his feelings weren’t genuine.

“Would you judge me for feeling the same?”

“Never.” He leaned in to seal the deal with a kiss, and you would have let him if Pietro hadn’t barreled through the door.

“I know you two are having a moment and I hate to be the one to kill it, I really do, but we can’t wait anymore.”

“Right behind you.” You and Druig walked behind him, hand in hand, to the back yard.

The rest of the night was perfect. You got to witness one of your best friends marry the love of her life, and as an added bonus you got to watch the beginning of Yelena and Pietro’s love story.

Your parents were over the moon when you told them about you moving back, but that was nothing compared to the news about you and Druig. As it so happened, they had been planning your wedding with him since you were kids. Yelena took one for the team and asked them about temporary living arrangements.

Druig took the opportunity to talk to you alone one last time before the night had to end. “You’re not going to get on that train and never talk to me again are you?”

He was mostly kidding but you could tell a part of him meant it. “Not this time, you can get up early and take the journey with me just to make sure if you want.”

“Don’t tempt me.” He held you close, anyone who paid attention would have thought you were swaying with the music. “I’m really glad this weekend turned out the way it did.”

“I am too.” You knew then that you were finally whole again. Everyone you had ever loved were going to be in the same place. The same place that broke your heart and it was put back together again. It felt like the universe gave you a second chance to have the life you always wanted and nothing, not even yourself, was going to get in the way of it happening.

@stuckonjbbarnes @buckyssoldat

#druig x reader #druig x f!reader #friends to enemies to lovers #angst with a happy ending #marvel #mcu fanfic

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greenerteacups · 10 months ago

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Hi! Just wanted to say the latest chapter is lovely & amazing & sweet & had me smiling the whole time! I absolutely love your characterisation of everyone, especially Draco, so it was so so lovely to return to this world & to his thoughts!! with his best friend and crush at malfoy manor no less! All the yearning is already off to a great start hehe I am so excited for the rest of book 5!

Wanted to ask you how has it been for you to write this new book and volume? Has your writing process changed since when you’d first begun taking on a long form project like this?

& also are there any moments or surprises in this book that you’re especially excited about?

sending so much love & gratitude for you and your incredible works 💓

Thank you so much! This is really encouraging, I so appreciate it.

Inasmuch as I can use this metaphor without having kids myself, I sort of see each of the books as a different child. The first one flew out in basically a few weeks of very intensive writing, and it was a total dream — plot, pacing, symbolism, major beats, all fell into place basically without effort. The character stuff was the hardest, as I've written about before, but even then, the glorious part of writing beginnings is it's the most energy you'll ever have for a project, so the lows were pretty soft lows. Book 2, in contrast, I had to drag kicking and screaming by its ankle from under the bottommost mattress of my brain. It's one of my least favorite books (tone problem; COS has killer plot/setting/ingredients for a YA novel, but it's stuck in the doldrums of Harry Potter's well-documented Early-Installment Weirdness, before Cedric Diggory slams the gas and upshifts the whole series into its correct age bracket). More specifically, once I'd gone through and picked out everything in the book that happened because of Lucius, I didn't have a plot — hey alexa how do you rewrite Chamber of Secrets when We Got No Fucking Chamber Of Secrets �� and oh by the way, even if you want to do a moody tone/political setup book, remember that your protagonists are still twelve, so if you go too dark or too intense, you'll risk torpedoing your readers' suspension of disbelief. Good luck, Charlie.

Book 3 felt the most like its own novel, if that makes sense? It's the last truly feel-good book of the series; it's a great stand-alone mystery novel with relatively low stakes. Plus you get a bunch of the big series icons: patronuses, dementors, werewolves, Hogsmeade, the Marauders' Map, and time turners arithmancy. It just felt like a good old-fashioned motherfucking romp of a mystery/adventure story, before any of the complex character work and major stakes of the late books come in.

Book 4 was the most fun I've had writing anything maybe ever. I don't even know what it was. Maybe the tournament arc, honestly? Love me a tournament arc. But in any case, I opened every new chapter feeling a tingle of excitement for what I was gonna get to do. Oh, and the romance started, finally, Jesus God (if it feels like a slow burn reading, just imagine what it felt like writing it, when everything takes ten times as long, and you have to figure out how to word the fucker.)

Book 5, in contrast, has felt much less like that tingle of "here we go!" and more like "oh, man, this is gonna be cool." Because this is the arc of the story that composed the original idea for Lionheart, literally years ago, and to be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far! If you'd asked me "do you know that it's going to take you 500,000 words of backstory before you can start writing that concept you're thinking about, and you're going to do it anyway?" I would have said: "absolutely not, strange mind-reader!" But like... I'm here! Finally! And it's... real now? Like, this isn't just a bunch of clips of scenes in my head anymore! That's rad!

That being said, it's definitely been slower than Book 4, because I kept switching back to my outline document to make sure that certain things were set up properly, and that I hadn't lost any of the plot threads or forgotten a minor beat that was vitally important for the story three chapters later. And I had a minor crisis about three months ago when I ripped out about 8 chapters in the first third of the book — basically everything from September to December — because I'd done a readthrough to check pacing (big mistake! never edit while drafting, that's satan talking) and realized I had a missing storyline. Like, there was a whole layer of the story that was just. Missing. Not there. And the existing text really couldn't fit another thread, so instead of taking weeks to pore through and try to sift out what I could save, I needed to factory reset and start over. And I didn't want to! I vividly remember sitting there with my head in my hands, trying not to weep, because I'd decimated 90,000 words of work in a single edit. But it had to be done. Because the story wasn't going to work. And now (hopefully) it will.

And of course, there's still that sense of excitement and exhilaration from before. Always. But whereas Book 4 felt like a delicious chocolate pudding, Book 5 is a medium-rare steak.

(Book 6, so far, is four shots of espresso and a whiskey chaser. FWIW.)

#greenteacup asks #lionheart #lionheart spoilers #dramione

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babygrave · 1 year ago

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Not to be part of too much discourse, but given the recent state of Ethel Cain’s fan base, I wanted to give my experience as a pretty early fan of hers.

I found Hayden’s music when she opened for Nicole Dollanganger in Chicago on the heart shaped bed tour. I believe Nicole or someone in her circle retweeted a video of Hayden performing that night and I really loved her voice. This was just a few months before golden age came out.

In 2020 she started doing a lot of instagram lives. Being this was pre inbred and crush, there was usually just a small group of people asking her questions and just chatting. These lives were really chill and people were usually really respectful and nice. She was always really sweet to everyone and it was a nice environment. Sometimes she would do little performances on there as well.

A lot has obviously changed since then, but I really hate that Hayden can’t have that relationship with her fans anymore because people have started severely disrespecting her boundaries. Reading her recent interview where she talks about people trying to get close to her friends and family just to get a shot at being her bestie or whatever is so gross.

(Plus I’m pretty sure her friend Salem tweeted about something like this a few years ago so it isn’t even new behavior)

Over the years, I’ve had to watch someone who had such a close relationship with her fan base recede from interacting with them because people decided their weird parasocial relationship with her warranted behavior ranging from unhinged to creepy.

I feel really lucky that I got the chance to speak with her quite a few times over the years, and she’s never been anything but incredibly kind to me, but here’s the thing: we aren’t friends. If I ran into her on the street, she’d have no idea who I am. We as fans have a very one sided relationship with her. Love her for her art and personality, but realize you don’t know her and she doesn’t know you. If the things you’re sending her would be weird to send to a complete stranger, refrain from saying it.

#ethel cain

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catofthecanals289 · 11 months ago

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i would love a max wants to propose snippet plzzz

i've posted this before ages ago, hope it holds up ;)

“So, are you going to spend the entire evening on your phone?” Victoria asks, as she sits down on the couch next to him, causing him to reflexively put down his phone –face down.

It’s not really fair of her to tease him like this, not when he literally hasn’t been on his phone all night and only picked it up when she got up to dump their takeout containers in the trashcan of the apartment Max only ever stays in when he has to be in Milton Keynes for more than a day or two in one go. It’s not that he minds hotels and that the apartment feels much different than one with as little time as he spends there, but still. He already lives in hotels half the year it feels like, it’s nice to have a place that he can at least call home even if it’s not. Plus, Victoria likes to use it when she makes a weekend trip to London. Although that has gotten less too, with the two kids and all. Which-

“Have you called him yet?” he asks in counter to her little jab, causing her to roll her eyes.

“These kind of news are best delivered in person.” Gently she places a hand on her stomach, soft smile on her lips, despite the challenging glint in her eyes.

He’s the first person to know, this time, and only because it’s his bathroom she took the test in and Max still feels a little crazy about it all –his little sister being pregnant with her third baby. Only him and her knowing –the only two people in the world. It makes him feel like he’s eight years old again, the both of them whispering secrets to each other under the covers of his bed, trying to block out their parents’ yelling.

No one’s yelling now, and Max isn’t scared. He’s just happy for her. Her and her little family.

It’s not what gave him the idea –he’s been toying with it for a while, if he’s being honest- but it’s what had spurred him to finally typing the words into the search bar, fingertips a little bit sweaty.

“Max?” Victoria says, head tilted slightly. “Where’s your head?”

He snorts. “Right here.”

“Mhm.” She looks at him skeptically, then after a moment, giving him a slight nudge she asks: “Everything good with Daniel?”

Flushing a little, Max nods, his phone feeling hot in his hands. “Uh, yeah. He’s in Surrey today, but he said he’d be here tomorrow. Or maybe tonight, depending how quickly they finish up.”

“Is that why you’ve been glued to your phone?” Victoria asks, teasing tone back in her voice. “Because you’re waiting for him to tell you that he’s on his way?”

“No.”

Max rolls his eyes, for good measure. It’s maybe only half true, because Max is definitely looking forward to Daniel and him being in the same place again, but it’s not what he’s been doing on his phone, which- He shoots her a glance ,hesitant for a moment, before he realizes how fucking stupid that is because it’s Victoria. His little sister. She’s probably the person he’s closest to, right up there with Daniel and his mom. And it’s not like he can tell Daniel about this just yet.

“I’ve been, uhm.” He clears his throat, unlocking his phone again so he can thumb open the website he’s been scrolling through before she interrupted him. “Looking at stuff. At –these.”

He holds out his phone to her.

She takes it, eyes already wide.

“Max…” she says, softly after barely a moment. “You’re going to-”

“Yes,” he says, and fuck, what a terrifying thing to admit, despite the wave of excitement that surges up inside of him at the thought. It’s crest is made of fear. That Daniel will say no. That he’ll say yes, and Max won’t be good enough for him to not regret it. That it’s a stupid, little fantasy, nothing more, and most of all that-

“-I’ll have to tell dad. About me and Daniel,” he says, as Victoria scrolls down the website, looking at the quite limited number of engagement rings made for men, and the endless selection for women. “I know that. If we get married then- Yeah. And I know that dad isn’t going to like it, but I want-” He exhales, gesturing to his phone. “-that. I want to ask him. And I want him to say yes, and I don’t know. Be fucking married to him.”

He thinks about Daniel wearing a ring on his finger, a ring that Max put there and not just as an expensive gift but as a promise, a vow. He thinks about having a paper signed by the both of them putting a name to what they have that they don’t need but Max wants anyway. He thinks about waking up every morning knowing that Daniel married him. That he looked at Max and just fucking picked him. Chose him. Is choosing him. Every day for the rest of their lives. Or life. Together.

And Max knows, he knows that he doesn’t need a marriage certificate to trust that Daniel is committed to him and it’s not even about that really, knows that his issues, his worries and doubts, they’ll always be there for Max to work on, but he wants it anyway.

He wants to be Daniel’s and for Daniel to be his.

“Max, I think that’s wonderful,” Victoria says, eyes shiny. “Really, really wonderful. Shit.”

Pulling him into a hug, she squeezes him tightly.

“He’s going to say yes, I know it, I just know it,” she says, a she holds her back just as tightly, before letting go. “And dad, he’ll just have to deal. It’ll be fine. It’ll be- Fuck. We need to find a proper ring. Shit. We should go to London tomorrow, go to some actual stores instead of-” She waves dismissively at his phone.

“Daniel’s coming here tomorrow though,” Max reminds her. Or tonight. If I’m lucky, tonight.

“Well, he’ll just have to entertain himself then,” Victoria says, unbothered, a gleeful look on her face. “Fuck. I’m going to have another baby, and you’ll be getting married. And win another world championship. This is going to be our year, Max. You hear me? Our year.”

“Hey. Don’t jinx me. Don’t jinx us,” he says, cheeks flushed, just as his phone buzzes with an incoming text.

It’s from Daniel.

finishing up now! See you in two hours [kiss emoji]

Max can’t help but smile.

hurry is all he texts back.

#drabble in answer to ask #wip folder

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frog-the-author · 6 months ago

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Before the story began: The Beginning.(fixed! I just fix the grammar and spelling errors and mistakes.)

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This is original posted on my Wattpad account and I’m just posting it here.

This is just me explaining some things that is in the description of the book/story.

Let me get you guys straight. This a basically Hercules x tgcf au and the owner of the au is @purplew who let me write about this story and it very happy that I'm making this and I have been looking forward for this story and some of the characters will out of character to fit or some of the characters won't have to be out of character but some will...I think.

I watched the movie for the idea and what I think it will be good for it and whole bunch of things and I'm writing this at night on my phone! So that's even more great!

Thanks again for @purplew for letting me write this! Plus this my first time wring a fanfic for someone/somebody! You can find them on Tumblr some got check them out if you want!

I'm really excited about this! It been over a month that I got permission to do this but I never a have an idea for it until now! I'm happy that I'm finally able to type it for you guys so you can all read it! I'm very grateful for this!

But anyways let begin our story!

A story about Lang Qiu qian as Hercules!

And his adventures and how he save his home and the people he loves from Jun wu! Let's the story begin!

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"Long ago in the land of Ancient China there was a golden age of powerful gods and extraordinary hero's across the lands of China. The greatest and strongest of them all was Lang Qiu Qian! But what is the measure of a true hero? That's what our story is—." The narrator was stopped mid sentence by a muse."Will you listen to him?" Said a man with long beautiful hair that is up in the tight bun with some bangs on the side of his face and will have an annoyed face with his arms crossed over his chest. The person next to him has long hair just like him but with a high ponytail but some of his hair is out of the ponytail and has bangs across his face. There is another person as well. He has long hair that is up in a bun and the rest of it loose and he has his fan in his hand with a hand on his hip. Last but not least is another guy who has the most beautiful black hair , a very high ponytail and one long bang on the right side of his face.

"His making the story sound like some tragedy!" Said Shi Qingxuan while putting one of his hands on his hip and the other one on his forehead and let out a dramatic sigh. "Light up dude." Mu Qing said then uncrossed his arms. "We take it from here darling~." Shi Qingxuan said smiling softly and now he has his hands on his hips. "You go boys." The narrator said with his deep and monologue voice in existence. (A/N: just imagine groovy music playing in the background.) "We are the Muses." Mu Qing said while the rest of them posed next to him and while he raised his arms in a pose. "Gods of the arts and proclaimers of heroes." Feng Xin continued from Mu Qing words.

"Hero's like Lang Qiu Qian." Xuan said while removing his arms across from his chest and walked next to the rest of them. "You mean Lang-QiuQian!" Shi Qingxuan said dramatically while fanning his fan back in and forth with his left hand. Then he walked towards a painting of Lang Qiu Qian and stood next to it. "Oooo~ I would like to make some sweet music with~." He says with a smile coming from his lips. Then Feng Xin glances at him while saying. "Our story actually began long before Lang Qiu Qian." "Many eons ago.." He Xuan continued off from Feng Xin. "Ooh!" Shi Qingxuan sang in a high tone. "Back when the world was new." Mu Qing sang and went towards others and formed a line. "The plant earth was down on its luck." He Xuan sang and Shi Qingxuan followed them in the line and began to walk with them in a line and while they walked in the line there were paintings of gods and goddesses.

"And everywhere gigantic brutes called titans ran up!" Shi Qingxuan sang and the rest of them walked towards a painting of the titans and they were moving and they were throwing stones and rocks and ruining the earth. "It was a nasty place." He Xzan explained in a singing voice. "There was a mess whatever you stepped!" He Xuan continued to explain while singing. "Where chaos reigned." Mu Qing sang after He Xuan while continuing the story. "And the earthquakes and volcanoes never slept." Feng Xin continued after him while still singing. "Woo! Say it girlfriend!" Shi Qingxuan explained.

Then they were not by the painting any more; they were in a different area of the room. There is a painting of Tai Yong'an.(A/N: Not his office name because we don't know his real name yet and same thing with his wife.) "Then along came Tai Yong'an!" They all sang in unison while pointing up at a painting of Tai Yong'an who is Lang Qiu Qian's father. Then the painting begins to move and it shows him aiming at the titans with his arrows and using his spirit energy with it together. "He hurled his arrows!" They continued to sing together. "He shot! Locked those suckers in a vault! They're trapped! And on his own stopped chaos on its tracks!" And now they are lined up next to each other with spaces between them and behind them is white wall.

"And that's gospel truth!" They sang with excitement. (A/N: Imagine upbeat music in the background.) "The guy was too type a to just relax!" They continue while they dance to the music while they sing. "And that's the world's first dish." He Xuan sang. (A/N: image the upbeat is now calm and more relaxed but have some upbeat to it but not that much.) "Yeah baby!" Shi Qingxuan sang after him. "Tai Yong'an tamed the globe while still in his youth." Feng Cin sang but more calmly. "All though, honey it may seem impossible!" They all sang together again. (A/N: Upbeat music in the background again.) "That's the gospel truth!" They sang together while putting their left hand on their chest while the other one was raised in the air. Then they put their hands and arms down, then they pointed at a painting of Heaven and they sang. "On the Heavens life was neat!" They continued to sing.

"And smooth and sweet vermouth!" They ran in circles in the same area "Although honey, it may seem impossible!" Then they spin and continue singing. "That's the gospel truth!" (A/N: Imagine upbeat and humming in the background.) Now if the sky is clear as day there are farms with animals eating grass or hay that their owners give them to eat and small towns and a house on a hill that have a lot of grass on it then there is the Heavens where gods and goddesses and officials work and live.

This is where our hero Lang Qiu Qian story begins! This is just the beginning of our hero! He will face many things in his life but will face them like a true hero his!

#fanfic #tgcf #qiurong #lang qianqiu #qi rong #mu qing #feng xin #shi qingxuan #he xuan

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zozo-01 · 2 years ago

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And The Sunlight That Divides Them

After a extensive conversation in the Discord [brought to you by @sri-rachaa and @gingerbreadmonsters] got me thinking about an old idea of a conversation between Alexis and Darlin'. And then @autisticempathydaemon and @cascadiiing decided to add more fuel to that fire, so here we are!!!

[Also tagging @beemybella, @epsi-l0n, @daveyistheloml and @teasandcardigans because they are both gems and I adore them and Mads is the biggest Alexis fan I know!!! Plus, tagging the ever talented and lovely @spookybeandoodle for setting me off on this Alexis/Darlin' journey monthsss ago!!!]

CW: This is me writing about Alexis in a somewhat positive light, so if you're expecting bitchy Alexis (let's be honest, I can't blame you), this is not the fic you wanna read, that outta way, Suicide Attempt, talking about the events of Sam's turning, Darlin' bringing up their own past with Quinn

click here for the ao3 link!!!

Perhaps this was the greatest benefit of being a vampire.

The ability to choose to end your life.

A vampire does not age. They do not fall victim to mortal sickness and there aren’t natural predators that can efficiently hunt them. Should a vampire decide they had enough, that they have lived a fulfilling life, they can end their second lease on life. They can choose to live for a thousand years, or for a day in their new lives, but should they decide to move on, they can walk gracefully to the shore between life and death.

After 40 years, Alexis Solaire had decided she had enough.

She stared at the shadow's edge, looking at the light-filled kingdom she was banned from. How long had it been since she felt the warmth of… anything, let alone the sun’s warm rays? She longed for it, for the glow of the sunset reflecting her eyes, or the warm summer breeze. But alas, her choice had relegated her to the darkness, the only light in her life was the moon reflecting the sunshine.

There… there had been a time when she felt warm. When she was sharing a bed with a certain freelancer. He made her blood sing with every kiss and bruise he left behind. Those gestures had meant nothing to him, but for her? They were everything. He was proof that she wasn’t a hellion, a wildfire ready to burn anything to the ground. That she could feel love, true, authentic and heart-wrenching love.

It was a shame that no person could change her nature and that he was caught in her flames.

She shook her head. That relationship, him, was long ago. He even was moving on.

With a mate, no less.

She thought of the wolf that had walked into the Solaire Clan meeting. A snide remark was on the tip of her tongue, a comment about how pups shouldn’t be around such dangerous creatures, but the words lodged themselves in her throat. She noticed the soft, love-filled smile he gave them.

The same smile she would give Sam behind his back.

Of course in her dying thoughts, she was thinking about him. How could she not? She was the greatest mistake of his life, and she has to live with that guilt.

Well… Assuming she had to live longer…

Like a bride walking down the aisle, she walked toward the sunlight. With every step, she thought of how the people in her life would react to the news of her death, if they even cared at all.

Out of everyone, William would be the most upset. He was her maker, the reason for her second life, and here she was throwing it away. Would William invoke her to stop her from dying? A selfish part of her wanted to say that yes, William would defy her will to die to keep her here as an act of love. That she too was justified in saving Sam, even if he didn't want to be.

But no, William would never do that. He was too good for that. Instead, he’d hug her, tell her how much she means to him and let her walk to her doom.

Another step was taken and another name appeared in her mind.

Vincent? Would he miss her? She really couldn’t tell you. Some days they were bantering as if they were siblings. She was the older sister with a bad attitude and he was the little shit younger brother. On other days, they were at each other’s throats, fangs cutting the other’s skin and words cutting deeper wounds in their hearts. She let out a sigh. If Vincent misses her, it’s because of all the new responsibility he'd gain as the older progeny.

Yet again, Sam's name crossed her mind and made her stop midstep. Sam would never miss her. In fact, he’d throw the biggest celebration ever with his mate. She can picture his lovely, happy face aimed at them.

But he was happy and that's what she wants. She may not love him the same way, but she wants him happy.

God knows it’s the bare minimum he deserves from her for taking everything away.

She continued walking to her doom. With every step, she can feel the sun’s burn on her skin. It felt amazing to feel the sun’s warmth again.

As she neared the edge, she approached with a singular thought in her head.

‘Goodbye world, may you be less cruel now that I’m not in it.’

Alexis Solaire was dead.

“Hey! Watch out, there’s sunlight here!”

Or that’s what would have happened had a giant wolf not tackled her to the ground.

Instead of burning in the sun, she quickly changed course and accepted that her death would be at the hands of a shifter. Of course, what was she thinking? That she deserved to feel the sun’s warmth after everything she’s done? After taking away Sam’s ability to bask in its glow? Being mauled by a shifter is the only way her story can end. Bloody and painful, and with no one being able to recognize her.

The wolf shifted back into their human form and familiar stubborn-glint eyes looked down upon her.

How fucking poetic was it that Sam’s mate, his Darlin’, would be the one to send her to her second grave. This had to be the universe playing a cruel joke on her. You couldn’t make this up.

But… where was the pain? Why weren’t they mauling her? Were they feeding off their misery? Using it to power them to rip her till she’s unrecognizable?

Just end her pathetic life… please… if there was a mercy the universe can grant her, let it be to have this be her final memory.

“And they fucking call me reckless! Seriously, what self-respecting vampire walks into the sun? Didn't they teach you that shit in vampire school?” The shifter paused to ponder. “Are there even vampire schools?” There was no way her grim reaper in wolf fur was asking her about vampire schools. Where had they even gotten the idea they exist?

The only thing Alexis could do in her shock-filled state was answer truthfully.

“I- No, there aren’t vampire schools for newborns.” Is this a dream? Had she already died and this was… hell? She can reasonably accept that seeing the partner of the man she loved so much after she dies means that she’s in hell. Wait, is Sam’s mate a secret deathwalker? It’s the only explanation that she could fathom for why they of all people were here in her final moments.

The shifter chuckled and scoffed at her answer. “Maybe they should start,” they said while getting up off her. They held out their arm, a strange gesture Alexis was not used to. A gesture of pure kindness. “Tell you what, one of us can bring it up at the next meeting, yea?”

A second passed. They would understand she didn’t deserve their help. Maybe the sun was in their eye? They couldn’t see whom they saved. Yes, that had to be what happened. There was no way Sam’s mate would save her if they knew who she was.

A minute passed. Ok, this was getting weird. The shifter hadn’t moved an inch, their hand still offering to help her up. You could say that it's a sad fact that Alexis isn’t used to receiving anything devoid of any mal intentions, but in her defence, she is Alexis Solaire. She is no stranger to roses. The offerings may seem beautiful, but there were always thorns to be considered.

Perhaps you can call it a tragedy that the extended arm was the first time Alexis was offered a thornless rose.

“We don’t got all day and I gotta get home before a certain someone starts calling.” Their sharp features became soft and their eyes lightened at the mention of this other person. A lifetime ago, it was she who became gentle at the thought of him.

Does the wolf know how lucky they are to be allowed to think of Sam lovingly? To not hide their affection for the man? To outwardly express their love for him?

Do they know that Alexis of the past would kill to be in their place?

She already tried that, to kill for Sam’s love. You already know how that story ends.

She placed her hand in the wolf’s hand. Her tight grip is light enough to remove immediately, a show of her fear of their ulterior motives. Again, could you blame her? She is and forever will be the helion of the Solaire Clan. There were countless who want her dead, and she was sure that his Darlin’ wishes for her death for revenge.

She couldn’t exactly blame them. A life for a life and all that.

She shook the dirt and dust off her clothing. Clearing her throat, she asked the wolf in front of her a question she desperately needs the answer to.

“Do you know who I am?”

They furrowed their eyebrows and blink repeatedly. They seem to contemplate the question. From their face, you’d assume that Alexis spoke in a language foreign to them. Such a simple question should not cause them such confusion. Did she say something wrong? Had she fuck up a potential relationship with the one person who didn’t hate her immediately?

Typical Alexis to burn bridges before they can be built.

The wolf scoffed. “I’d be an idiot if I didn’t know who you are. You’re Alexis Solaire.”

So the wolf did know who she was? This… made things more complicated.

For who in their right mind would save a damned soul like hers?

“... You… you know who I am… and you still saved me?” Alexis tilted her head in confusion. There had to be a mistake. She needed to make absolutely sure that this wolf didn’t mistake her for someone else.

“Uh, of course? Did you expect to watch you walk into the sun?”

Maybe Alexis can be a little naive. Just for this moment. Maybe she can pretend that the wolf saved her, despite all logic saying otherwise.

For so long, Alexis longed for love. To be someone’s world.

Now? Alexis just wants a friend. Maybe they can be that…

No, she couldn’t do that to Sam. It’s cruel of her to take advantage of their ignorance. She hurt their lover, and she shouldn’t even be talking to them. She just has to figure out if Sam had told them the events of his turning without giving everything away. That was his story to tell, and for as much as she has taken from him, she will never take away his chance to tell his story.

“Well… if everything is done here, I should probably be back and,” they held her arm before continuing, “if you ever think about doing something stupid like that again, I’m sure William would be willing to listen. I mean, personally, I like talking to him because he has that calming voice.” They mumbled under their breath, something about it being a miracle they found a french accent soothing. Alexis would have to ask about that later, assuming later would ever happen.

The wolf turned and began to walk away. Closer and closer to the forbidden kingdom that she was banned from.

In an impulsive act, Alexis yelled out, “wait! Can I talk to you?”

The wolf stopped in their tracks and walked back towards the vampire princess. “You? Want to talk with me?” Confusion laced their town and shock was on their face. She can hear the thoughts running through their head. ‘What the hell does a vamp princess like her want to do with me?’

Alexis opened her mouth, but no words came out. Perhaps she was a bit in over her head, and maybe she should have written a script or some bullshit like that, but you know what? She is Alexis Goddamn Solaire. And she will speak her mind.

“Um- What Sam might have told you about me… I don’t know if he’s told you, but I just want to let you know-”

The wolf cut her off, and the warmth in their voice gave away to cold steel.

“Sam told me everything about that night.”

Oh. So they know about that night. And she just reminded them of her greatest mistake.

Well, there goes that. The one singular person whom she thought she could befriend knows about her worst night ever. And if they were willing to overlook that when they saved her, they certainly won’t now that she brought it up with her own mouth.

Dear, Sweet Alexis. Always burning bridges before they could be built.

“You knew all that, and you still saved me?” If all the deities in human history could spare kindness, it would be an answer to this question.

The wolf scoffed. “You know I hate saying the same thing over and over again, so I’ll say this one last time. I saved you because I saw you walking into the sun like you wanted a damn tan.” They crossed their arms, shifting their weight to their right leg. “Is there anything else you want from me?”

Alexis stuttered. It is always a bad situation when Alexis is stuttering. It meant she wasn’t prepared for an outcome, and Alexis always came prepared.

“I’m sorry- it’s just… it’s just that- I never thought you of all people would save me since I… I turned…” She fidgeted with the rings on her hands. “Besides it will be better for everyone, especially him, he probably wants me dead-” Once again the wolf granted her mercy by cutting her off.

“Look, whatever history you and Sam have with each other is between you two. I heard what you did to him, but it ain’t my business to inflict pain on you because of that.” Their steady voice went quiet and they looked at the ground. “And… don’t say it’ll be better if you’re dead. There are people who care for you and want you alive.”

There was nothing Alexis could do but laugh. At the absurd reality that she resides in a reality where the mate of the man whom she forcibly turned was telling her to stay alive. Between her dry laughs, she said, “I’m sorry, it’s just, I find it hard to believe that anyone would want me alive, especially Sam. Why would he or you or anyone care for a bitch like me?”

Once again, the sharp features of the wolf softened and their voice became comforting. “I don’t think Sam would care, whether you were alive or dead. It doesn’t matter, as long as you are out of his life, he’s content.”

“But just because he doesn’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t as well.”

With one single line, Alexis’s view of herself shattered.

She had thought- no, she knew that she was beyond help, beyond saving. She was content with burning herself alive if it meant she could remain the cold, callous bitch many think of her. Was it the most positive outlook of her? Absolutely not. But ignoring the fact that the perceptions of people are rooted in some fact (no matter how little), this helion version of Alexis keeps her safe.

She was no longer the scared girl trying to escape the unwanted marriage she was destined for. The one who begged William to give her a new life. The one who lay awake while Sam was going through his bloodlust, feeling the vitriol and hatred rightfully directed at her.

No, instead she was Alexis Solaire. Cold-hearted. Uncaring. Untouchable. Safe.

But this wolf, who she was still in shock was still talking to her, was making it hard to maintain her well-earned, yet perhaps not deserved, reputation.

Or maybe, they were teaching her that she could be more than that.

A sad smile bloomed on her face, tears building up in her eyes. Finally, she has met someone whom she can lower her guard around. She could just be her and not what people expected her to be. She couldn’t even do that around Sam. (She doubled back on that last thought. Was the wolf becoming more meaningful to her in the few minutes she has met them than Sam was during their relationship?)

“May I ask you one last question? And whatever your answer may be, please don’t sugar coat it, I need to know your truth.” The wolf furrowed their eyebrows and nodded hesitantly, prompting the princess to continue. “Since you know about that night… Was turning Sam a mistake?”

For a split second, the wolf’s eyes flared with anger. She could imagine that they were ready to unleash their fury over Sam onto her, and she was ready to take it all.

But the shifter had other plans.

Instead of burning Alexis alive like she has been doing to herself for years, they paused and composed themselves. What had made them rethink their answer, she doesn’t know, nor did she feel right asking them. And she was content with never knowing.

(What Alexis hadn’t known was that Darlin’ could see the guilt on her face, fresh as the day of the accident. They know that look and feeling all too well, and resorting to anger would only prove to themselves that they are their worst fear. So they give her the grace they were never granted as a child.)

They bit their lip and answered honestly. “If you’re asking me if I think you were right for turning Sam against his will, I’m sorry, but I can’t justify that.” They clenched their eyes shut, and Alexis thinks that they are holding back their own memories. She wonders who was in those memories, for what monster would dare hurt a kind soul such as theirs.

In any case, there was no need to keep Sam’s mate with her any longer. She waves a hand to dismiss the wolf. “I understand, it was the answer I was expecting anyways.” She turned to walk off like she hadn’t planned for that day to be her last, but the shifter had other plans.

“But I don’t blame you!”

She stopped, the words of the wolf echoing in her head. “But I don’t blame you.” How could they not blame them? She took away his agency from that night. She damned him to be confined to his house when the beautiful sun was out. If there was anyone to blame for that night, it was her.

“You’re wrong, I was the one who fucked it up like I always do! I should be the one to take the fall for my own actions!” She hadn’t realized that her voice had gotten higher, but the shock at the wolf’s kindness was leaving her spiralling.

“What you did that night was terrible, and I hope no one has to ever go through that again. But you were put between a rock and a hard place, and you made the decision that you thought was best.” They sighed and looked up to the sky. “I’m not that dumb to not consider what was going through your head.”

For the first time in a long time, Alexis was stunned and silent. She was expecting claws and teeth and anger to be thrown at her, it’s what she deserves and what she has gotten in the past. But the shifter had done something no one else had ever done for her. They considered her side of the story. Maybe- no, her side of the story wasn't the most important on the night of the accident, but they had still thought about her and what she went through her worst moments.

She wasn’t used to that level of thoughtfulness being granted to her. (Maybe the wolf had earned the nickname darlin’?)

They cleared their throat and continued. “The decision itself was never the moral one,” they said with an air of finality in their voice.

(It was a statement they truly believed with their whole heart. They had been on the wrong side of vampire fangs and thinking about Sam going through that made their heartache. But looking at the vampire princess’s guilty face made them feel uneasy. They could feel the familiar bubbles of sympathy in their soul. Damn their empathetic heart cursing them to quell her guilt, though it is an urge they’ll gladly fulfill.)

With a softer tone, they added, “but if all decisions were made with the “right” morality in mind, the world would be a better place.” Alexis looked puzzled at that statement, so the wolf clarified. “What I mean is… a perfect world cannot exist. Some mistakes must be made and they prove that this reality is real. Besides, who am I to judge you based on your past when I have one as well.”

“The only person who can judge you is the one you hurt from that night, and he has made his feelings clear.”

Didn’t she know that. She’s been feeling his loathe for her for the last thirteen years.

Oddly enough, Alexis had finally felt some closure over that night. Having someone acknowledging that yes she made a mistake, but there was no other option available alleviated some of the burdens. Who would have thought it would be Sam's lover releasing her from her emotional turmoil.

“If you don’t mind me asking a question,” they hesitantly inquired.

Alexis was sure that they were the politest person they have ever met, and she was convinced she doesn’t deserve half of it. She nodded. “Go on.”

“Do you still love Sam?”

“No.” It was an answer that sounded forced and rehearsed, like she was practicing it just for this exact moment, but it didn’t make it any less true. “You learn to let go after constant rejection.”

They tilted their head and furrowed their eyebrows in confusion. “You can tell me to fuck off if this is overstepping, but why hold on to the pain? Why not move on?”

She let out another forced laugh. “Because I’m the villain of this story? And when does the villain ever get the happy ending?” The intense stare of concern from the wolf had Alexis dropping her act again. “Sam was my first, true love. I may not love him anymore, but I don’t think I’m ever going to get over him.”

“Funny enough, I thought the same thing about Quinn.”

Alexis had almost doubled over that. Someone as caring as them? Being in love with Quinn? The thought was revolting, they deserved better than the sadistic vampire, but Alexis found it fitting that their bleeding heart would feel sorrow and care for a monster like him. She could use that same argument with her.

“Yea, I know I was dumb for thinking that, but I deadass thought I was gonna be with him forever.” They sighed. “But that wasn’t how shit went. I was distraught after we broke up and I was the one who ruined it-”

“You’re too good to be hung up over someone like him.” Alexis had cut them off with venom in her voice. “You gave him more love and attention than a monster like him deserves.”

They blinked a couple of times and laughed. “Oh you’re absolutely right he didn’t deserve shit from me. But the fact that I loved him and was able to move on doesn’t change.” They held her hands against their chest. “Alexis Solaire, if I can move on from Quinn, then you can move on from Sam.”

Before Alexis could voice her doubts, the shifter’s phone started ringing, and of course, it was their southern vampire. They picked up the phone and greeted him with a “hi baby.” How adorably cheesy and sweet, yet absolutely fitting for them.

She makes sure she doesn’t listen to their phone call, if only to respect Sam’s privacy. She made a hundred percent sure that Sam didn’t know she was there. What he didn’t know, didn’t kill them.

Hanging up, the wolf turned to Alexis with a rueful smile. “I’m sorry, but Sam wants me back and I know if I don’t show up soon, he’s gonna rip the forest apart trying to find me.” They fondly chuckle at Sam’s potential reaction. “Don’t let the past drag you down Alexis, and once you do that, you’ll be able to live again. Don’t pass through your own life like you’re a ghost.”

She nodded, eyes once again filling up with tears at the thought of someone believing in her. “Ok, I’ll try. Thank you, for saving me today.” They did it in more ways than one.

They waved their hand dismissively. “Ahhh, it was nothing! Just doing what any decent person would do!”

“There aren’t many people as kind as you are out there. Do not let this cruel world harden your heart.”

Their eyes widened and turned their head away, flustered at the kind words. “I’ll try. See you around Lexi!” And with that, they shifted into their animal form, a large white wolf, and ran back to the cabin where her progeny resides.

How on earth did a wolf manage to change her outlook on everything in such a short amount of time? Alexis understood why he fell for them. Their energy was addicting, and it nourished her in a way not even the most exquisite blood could.

Alexis had spent the last forty years in cold static, everlasting and never changing, content with having life pass her by. But the wolf had made her feel something she never expected to revel in again. Even the lovestruck days with her unwilling progeny hadn’t brought this sensation back to her.

The wolf’s kindness, their care, their genuine need to help her…

…It felt like sunlight.

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted alexis #redacted darlin #remember! if you don't like alexis #you're under no obligations to read or like or reblog this post #zo writes tingz #this is zo speaking

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