#plus i dont wanna judge someone for liking a media and being part of a certain fandom

[mellosdrawings]

Fandom ask #15! Go! >83

15. Fandom I find annoying

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I think all fandoms have an annoying side. And even the fandoms that are labeled "toxic" have their good sides.

At some point it's just a matter of curating one's own experience, I guess. You gotta steer away from the parts of the fandom you don't like and stick to the ones you like. I've rarely disliked my fandom experiences because I just don't stay in the sides of fandoms I find annoying.

Thank you for asking and sorry for the weird answer x)

ASK GAME

[ludwigplayingthetrombone]

Hello! Firstly I wanted to say that I'm an old fan since your overwatch days and I've always admired how much depth you're giving all the characters and relationships you touch! I'm talking like, mariana trench DEPTHS. And how confident you seem about just doing the things you enjoy and exploring the themes you want? I really respect that.

I'm having a bit of an art crisis recently and I was wondering If you could offer some advice?

I'm thinking about self-indulgence in art, particularly fanart. I like to dive in deep to expand on characters, I find it as enjoyable as creating my own work. But I fear of people getting angry at me for latching onto these characters, thay they'll say the original work wasn't THAT deep, or that I'm completely wrong or cringe or whatever. And I don't care about being right or anything, I just want to have fun here and tell my little stories? :( The fear is making me keep the work to myself and I don't know what to do. Would it be better to just enjoy it on my own?

Your blog really is goals when it comes to that, so I'll respect your opinion a lot. Thank you for your time!

holy moly thank you so much for your sincerity first of all!! Second, this is making me misty eyed ngl!! I have alot to say about this so i shall put it under a read more bc im gonna ramble

If someone cares about you fixating on your fave characters, then they're usually the fucking weirdos in this situation if they dont just block you and move on. I LOVE making shit up about my faves like i have a modern au hc that kakashi and gai are ddr competition rivals and i gave yeehan 7 dogs just for funsies!! we were in the trenches in early overwatch making up our own lore bc there was none and it was so fun

I've always been like that now that i look back bc when i first started uploading my shitty ms paint fanart on deviant art in like 2006(naruto funnily enough we've come full circle) i was still drawing cringey shit /I/ wanted to see. I don't agree with almost all of it today, but i remember the fun i had while making it, and that's really the trick. Drawing what you personally want to see then people can come and go audience wise. If they like it, they like it, if they dont? oh well! There's people who still follow me from when i was 14 and i follow them even tho we're in completely different spaces now.

The fanart part i vibe with personally bc im really bad at coming up with totally original work and premises. i much prefer having pre-established rules and worlds to work with (plus the characters i love getting massacred in the writing i HAVE to save them)

Just existing online will garner you mean comments or asks, and my best advice is its not worth it to take the bait even if its absolutely absurd and wrong, i just block and go now, and im much happier :) this all being, of course, as long as what you're doing isnt harmful, bc even with good intentions, you'll mess up/blunder eventually. If the heat gets too much for you, no one will judge you for withdrawing your art from social media. thats a perfectly safe thing to do to keep it for yourself.

As an adult, shits not that serious im 28 drawing naruto fanart bc it makes me happy after a long day of work, so have fun!! art's supposed to be fun don't let the fear win i love sharing my art with strangers on the internet!! Hope this made any sense at all and I wish you the best, my friend!!! If you ever wanna dm me, feel free

[stag-bi]

not to yuck anyones yum but im starting to really fucking hate reality tv nowadays. im specifically thinking of those TLC shows abt fat ppl or mormon families or 90 day fiance. i dont even own a TV but just vaguely seeing a few episodes from the corner of my eye while im hanging at someones house is enough to make me become the joker tbh

theres just something so blatantly awful abt these type of shows where its incredibly obvious that the narratives are artificially manipulated to be as outrageous as possible. its so venomously voyeristic and i absolutely DESPISE feeling like some enormous media conglomerate is handing me moral justifications to uncritically throw around kneejerk judgments based entirely on twisted perceptions by the aforementioned conglomerate. i hate it!!!! it feels so unnecessarily mean and rude. these are real human beings not circus animals

anyway if i go to someones house and they wanna watch this stuff, how do i tell them not to do that while im there w/o coming across as holier-than-thou and like im judging them for enjoying trash tv?? plus it feels so entitled to tell someone what they can do at their own goddamn apartment. i just dont wanna see that TLC reality tv crap. feels like its actively dampening my sense of empathy and critical thinking skills and it just pisses me off and makes me very unpleasant bc i cant ’turn off’ that part of my brain + i physically cannot ignore it if im in the same room. its so overpowering in terms of movement and sounds that i cant focus on anything else

[anissapierce]

Rewatched Fire island while sewing patches into the inside of the thighs of my work jeans and trying to distract myself from the fact that ill be alone in the house for a month with me and the dogs and i paid special attn to max

So here are some notes about the movie n max thoughts.

:readmore:

So they all met in Williamsburg, keegan and luke were the only ones who knew each other before. We Dont know wht jobs Max,Keegan and Luke have.

Max seems pretty ... Neo-liberal? Noah describes him as "sweet" and "supersmart" but "a little uptight"

The Atwood memoir he's reading is important to note but he's probably the most... Well academically book smart than the rest and i don't think from what we know about his character that he was reading it bc he agrees w her politics or worldview. He is actually the first person we see call into question the fact that noah is kowtowing to norms by maintaining the body he does . "why would you confirm to this community's toxic body standards?" noah as the narrator agrees with him and owns up to being a "class traitor".

"and this why straight people hate us" hints towards max himself buying into the structure of respectability politics but honestly im not reading too much into the line because its often something tht lgbt folks will throw around without actually meaning it.

"its actually a logistical nightmare if you want to fuck on this island,at least if you want to do it indoors,no privacy anywhere"

This plus generally everything else show that Max is a private person,giving a narrative reason why we nvr see him kiss,fawn or fuck anybody onscreen. That doesn't excuse that Max is a part of a long line of characters who are desexualized for being Fat,Black and/or Gay,in Max's case him being all three is pretty rare in film or tv but its not rare for characters that are like him to not get fleshed out narratively.

"have you heard of ticks? How bout their best friends? Lyme disease" is why he doesn't wanna fuck outdoors so we know hes prudent

"oh my god i think i saw a tick in my room"

He is technically the reason that Noah's phone ends up in the pool bc he does come running out of the house and bumping into him. But i do like the fact that Noah trying to convince everyone to look on the bright side means he doesnt seem angry or even resentful of Max?

"itll give you the chance to unplug from social media" Max trying to look on the bright side is pretty sweet considering the others responses are pretty blaming (Luke) or just kind of offering sad looks.

Says a lot that his response to "the island will always be there, " is: "except for the whole climate change thing". Like if something being said and it isnt true he is going to speak up abt it. ( I think there is an issue of the Fat friend in various media being the buttoned up bookish school marm type)

"im not sure this is what the gay liberation front imagined for us" another line of him judging others based on respectability politics

" I texted him but it went to green, maybe hes right although you're more likely to be murdered in your own home" Max being the one to text him when he was off his mind the night before on who-knows-what shows that he's probably the one whos usually rallying the troops n making sur everyone got home safe. (Esp considering the fact tht he usually doesnt partake in the drugs that the rest of the guys do)

Once again cant help dropping tidbits, trying to reassure the others and himself that howie probably wasnt murdered statistically speaking.

"Calm down Bernie Sanders i love the pantry small businesses are the lifeblood of this country " probably the most neo-lib weve heard him get but he doesn't object to luke n keegan stealing so like , he's prob more left leaning than his lines indicate

"we have to go direct sunlight...raw chicken..."

Good to know that someone is paying attention to food safety

"i didnt prepare for an extra person so ..." And hes annoyed about dex being invited over?

"not you two salivating over a basic white guy again "

Love Max as the voice of a pragmatic audience member

A random note but luke is shown in the bg of the getting ready scene gesturing to Noah to see how he should take the G..... And uhh he disregards noah gesturing differently. So that explains a lil that they planted the seed of Luke getting beyond fucked up

[lookingformyron]

little restaurant in town

he was just 10 yo when life handed him a little more than any 10yo could handle. loved and cherished by his parents, he was the treasure in their eyes. being the only child, ron was a quiet and timid boy. He was okay with being alone, but he also get along with the other kids. although he’s only 10, he’s got more kindness and genorisity than any human could possiply posses their whole life. 

His parents owns a successful noodle restaurant, they live a pretty comfortable life. Thanks to his mom’s recipe the restaurant picked up the moment it started after his birth. Ron was always around his mom in the kitchen, helping her mixing the the flour for their noodles. Or at least to him, he was helping out. But to his mom, he was a hazard waiting to happen. She love his company regardless. His father takes care of the business aspect of the restaurant and deals with customers. Ron was more like his mom, preferred to be alone most times. 

His happiness didn’t last too long, after his 10th birthday, was the last that he was able to celebrate with his parents. One busy lunch time at the restaurant a customer was complaining about his food and services. Ron remember hearing arguments and screaming in the back, he was scared so he stayed pretty close to his mom. the fight lasted for about 20mins and then the whole restaurant fell into a complete silence. Next thing he remembered was the cops coming and took his father away. His father has hurt a man out of rage. He was at fault b/c he was the first one to struck the man. The judge ruled in the man’s favor. Ron was told he could no longer see his dad until he turns 18. He knew then, his dad must have really hurt that man. he was mad at his dad. why couldn’t his dad just control himself, then non of this would have happened. it was all his father’s fault that his mom grew frail by the days. They sold the restaurant to help with his father’s legal fees. His mom has to run north and south to take care of everything. His mom would have given up her life to help his dad. Regardless of what happened, one thing that will never change is their love for ea. other. Even at just 10yo, ron could see that every clearly. he was once jealous that his parents might love ea. other more than they love him, but his mom assure him that was not the case. It doesn’t matter anymore, his mom can’t see his dad anymore. and she was sad. 

a year or so after his father was taken away, his mom was re-hired by their restaurant to be their cook. W/o his mom’s recipe the business was not doing well, ppl were their for his mom’s bowl of noodles. It was something she would never sale, she wanted to give it to her future daughter in law. However the new owner was ruthless business ppl that treated their employees more like slaves then anything else. his mom was working 12+ hrs a day, with barely enough pay to keep the rent. She grew weaker and weaker day after day. There wasnt much laughter in the house anymore. just two ppl trying their best to survive. a few days before ron’s 11th birthday, his mom sat him down to have the hardest talk of their life. 

She can see that he’s was on the verge of being malnourish. Her son was not like other healthy kids. Ron was always tired and sleepy w/little to no energy to do anything. And she could not afford to send him to school anymore.... She got on her knees and started crying in front of him. She had to give him up so that he could have a better life. she was not capable of taking care of him anymore. She said once he get to the orphanage, there might be better suited parents that might want to adopt him. And he should go with them for a better life. Ron didn’t say anything. He didn’t cry. He did what he was told. he felt like he was a uneccessary baggage that his mom has to carry. it would be easier for her if he wasn’t around. And so he quietly started his new life at the orphanage. 

he celebrated his 11th birthday with a bunch of kids he didnt know. Ron isolated himself now more than ever. Ron was a small orphanage on the outskirt of town. The place was run by sister Kesson, she was a kind nun but with a stern personality. rules are rules and are not ment to be broken. That didn’t bother Ron all that much, he doesn’t do much anyways. He just did as he was told. 

2 years later, Ron is now the oldest kid at the orphanage. Kids comes and goes through the orphanage, but he stayed. There were a few nice couples that wanted to adopt him, but he didn’t wanna go with them. He wasn’t really waiting for his mom to come back either, he didn’t want to be a baggage to her or anyone else. He thought his parents would just toss him away once things gets hard, b/c he was disposable. Plus the orphanage needed him. Sister Kesson was already in her late 60s and she was running the place by herself. She didn’t complain much, or ask for anyone’s help. In a way, they were pretty similar. He liked that he feels peaceful around her but most importantly he felt needed. Ron helps take care of the younger ones, he became way too mature for his age, and he was okay with that. Ron was the older brother to everyone at the orphanage, he was the handy man when things goes broken, and he was the a shoulder everyone could lean on. 

After ron turned 16 he is now old enough to get a part time job. He wanted to go into town, he wanted to see how his mom is doing. But only from afar. What if she doesn’t want to see him, but would she recognize him? maybe he can just be in the background watching her. That would be enough for him. But he also need money to help sister Kesson, the orphanage relies heavily on donation but for the past couple of years it wasn’t sustainable. More ppl are donating to the bigger orphanage so that they could be reconized by the media as humanitarium. The media doens’t really go into the outskirt of town to cover any stories. Sister Kesson agrees to let him get a part time job, as long as his grades doesn’t suffer. 

Ron took the bus and went straight to his parents restaurant. He sat down for a bowl of noodles. His mom still works here... holding back his tears, Ron finished his bowl of noodles, he wanted so badly to see her. But what justification does he have to visit her? Ron doesn’t want to make his mom cry like she did years ago. he decided to start his job hunting... As he was walking out the doors, a flyer caught his eyes. they’re hiring. he applied. 

Ron started working the next day. The pay is minimum wage, there’s regulation now, the owner can’t risk being looked into by the IRS. It only took but 5mins at his new job, to see his mom again. She’s aged, but still as beautiful as ever. he debated if he should walk up to her or not. NO. he already decided to keep his distance. She was focus on her task, not once did she took her eyes off what she was doing. That works out. 

Its been two months, and she didn’t hasn’t notice her son, who comes in and out of the kitchen to bring food out.. It was around 10pm one night, and she was on her way out heading home when the owner asked if she can take the trash out with her before she leaves and lock up. Ron was in the restroom, when he headed out the whole place was dark. They must have thought everyone was gone. He headed to the back door to leave, and saw that his mom as struggling to pull the big bag of trash that was almost her size. Without hesitation, ron reached for the bag to help her. their eyes meet. Instantly her eyes were filled with tears. Hot burning tears. 

He’s failed. Once again, he mad his mom cry. 

‘im sorry’ -he said. 

His mom was confused. What does he have to be sorry for? she was the one abandoning him! 

‘im not here to be a burden. Its just a part time job. But if you dont want to see me, i can quit’ 

A burden?! has he been thinking this all these years? thats whys he left him at the orphanage? more tears roll down her cheeks. and she fell to the ground. her body numbed. her poor son. her ron. all these years he quietly stayed at the orphanage b/c he didn’t want to be her burden. 

‘my son, you are not a burden to him. you never were. i dont think i could have go on w/o knowing that one day we will be reunited. I wasn’t financially capable of taking care of you. And rather than having the states take you away from me, i wanted to put you with Sister Kesson, at least then when i come back for you, even if you are adopted she could tell me which nice couple became your parents. At least then i could find you. you are NOT my burden. you’re the best thing that happened to me and your father.’ 

Hot tears starts to roll down his cheeks now. 

‘then why didn’t you ask me to wait for you to come back. you wanted me to go with other ppl and be their kids. you didn’t want to be my mother anymore. and didn’t want anything to do with me!’ 

as those words come out his mouth, all the years of resentment and sadness could be heard behind those words. no mater now mature and understanding ron is. He was scarred, and its going to take a long time for him forgive his mom. he was mad. and he needed someone to take the anger out on. His mom could see that. she nodded. 

‘yes, be mad at me. as long as you’re healthy. Im okay with it. will you catch me up with your life? we haven’t seen each other for six years.’ 

‘no. do you still want me to quit? if i make you uncomforable 

-work with mom. she’ll get sick. and dies. 

-becomes sucessful, fund the orphanage, buy the resturant, run both places. 

-real interests in writing, and it looks like to can leave the business to his friend (childhood friend at the orphange) to travel and write

-reunite with father. who comes by the resturant to see how its doing. did some reaseach on his son. and understand the story

-business and everything was looking good. but the orphanage was being threaten to be demolish. sister kessson is stressing out and dont know what to do. turns out the land belongs to the gov. which  was sold under the table for some politician personal gain. 

-to save the orphanage ron has to give up his parents restaurant. and join corporate