#plus he's realized he's a little traumatized ya know

[shannonallaround]

When you love your friend's au so much that you write fanfic for it

Based on @punkinspice's @shadouge-family-au ***

Everyone froze as the glass shattered on the floor. 

Then little three-year-old Monty started crying because it scared him, quickly followed his twin sister Mabel, who cried because he was crying. Chase (who was five, almost six) simply looked at the glass mess and said “Oh oh.” 

Amy tiptoed around the kitchen table to reach the crying twins, soothing them with gentle hugs and soft words. She glanced up at her husband. 

Sonic stood exactly where he’d been when the glass had left his hand (by the kitchen sink). He stared at the floor, expression unreadable; a rare moment of him being perfectly still. 

He’s normally fast enough to catch things like that, Amy thought to herself. “Sonic?”

No answer. 

Any hid a worried purse of her lips, instead turning to her oldest. “Chase, you still have your shoes on—can you grab the broom for mama so she can clean up the mess?” 

Sonic then seemed to jerk awake. “Sorry. I’ll get it.” He quickly left the room, not meeting Amy’s eyes. Amy heard the shutting of a cupboard, followed by Sonic returning with a broom and dustpan in hand. 

“Let me help, Dad!” 

Chase had gotten down from his chair and now stood by his dad amid the mess. Sonic looked down into his son’s eyes, and managed a smile—small, but grateful. 

“Thanks, kiddo.” 

Chase chatted away about what he wanted to do after dinner while diligently holding the dustpan in place. He made Sonic chuckle once or twice, oblivious of the tightness in his dad’s shoulders. Eventually, he and his twin siblings left the room to play. Amy stood and took the broom from Sonic. 

“I’ll finish here,” she said, gesturing with her head at the living room. “Why don’t you go relax? It’s been a long day. I’ll join you in a minute.” 

Sonic looked at her, his eyes somewhat distant, but he gave her a half smile and nodded. Amy heard him sigh as he left, noticing him shove his hands behind his quills as he plopped down on their woven pink couch. 

A few minutes and a vacuuming job later (just to be safe), Amy came into the living room and sat beside Sonic. He stared up at the ceiling, frowning at nothing.

If Amy was going to get anything out of him, it was now or never. 

“What’s on your mind, Sonic?”

Sonic sighed through his nose. He closed his eyes as if thinking of what to say. In the end, he gave a defeated shrug. “You’ve seemed on edge for a few days, now,” Amy said carefully. “Ever since our last fight with Eggman.” 

Sonic’s eyes flew open. “I hate that man,” he spat out. He sat up, face scrunched with more choice, but unsaid, words. Amy stared at him, surprised at his strong language. Certainly it was universal knowledge that Sonic didn’t like Eggman (and frankly, Amy hated the man too), but to hear her husband say it outright in such frank terms was… unusual. 

“Are you upset about the forest he ruined?” Another sigh. “Yes… and no.” Sonic leaned forward, pressing his mouth against folded hands. He took a deep breath.  

“Do you… ever think about us as kids?”

Amy tilted her head. “How so?”

“You know… all the stuff we did.” Sonic stared at his shoes. “How… crazy it was that we were kids?” 

Amy took a small breath, understanding his meaning. She bit her lip. “Yes. All the time.” She waited for Sonic to continue, but he went quiet then. He began tapping his foot at the base of the couch—a nervous habit when he was thinking. 

“My earliest memories are running,” Sonic said finally. “I was, I dunno—maybe four? Five? Chase’s age. I didn’t know where I came from or where I was going, and I didn’t care. It didn’t matter. I thought I was fine. I was fine! I couldn’t even talk yet, and I was fine! I just ran wherever the wind took me.” He took a shaky breath. “But imagining our kids in the same position just-!” 

He cut himself off, burying his head in his hands. After a moment, he dropped them into his lap. 

“We were so young.”

Amy nodded slowly. “We were very young,” she echoed. After a moment, she asked “Does that scare you?” 

Sonic’s face scrunched again, but not in anger this time. “I was never afraid for myself growing up. I knew I’d be fine. But I was afraid for Tails, when he came into the picture. Some days I was so scared I didn’t know what to do with myself. And I guess, now… I’m afraid for them, too.” He ran a trembling hand down his face, forcing a laugh. “Heh… Guess things don’t change as much as you think they would, huh?” 

“No,” Amy said, watching him, “I guess they don’t.” She put a soft hand on Sonic’s knee, leaning into him. “But I think that’s a good thing. It means you love them.” 

Sonic sighed, his hand going to his forehead. “I just… I don’t know how to do this.” 

“Do what?”

“Raise our kids! Especially when we’re practically badnik magnets! It’s a miracle Eggman doesn’t send a squadron after us every week!” 

Amy rubbed his knee reassuringly. “Even if he did, you know Tails’ security system would warn us long before anyone was in danger.” 

“I know…” 

Amy thought a moment, then she leaned forward, trying to see her husband’s face. “You know, you know how to do this better than you think you do. You forget that you raised Tails.” 

A husky laugh, almost desperate. “I didn’t know what I was doing then, either! It's a miracle that kid's even alive! I pulled him into so many things without even a second thought, and I had no idea how to raise a kid, I—!” 

Sonic felt Amy’s hand on his chin then. It rested there for a moment, and then he relaxed just enough to let it guide him, lifting and turning his head so he could meet her gaze. Amy beamed at him, eyes soft and gentle. “And look how well Tails turned out.” 

Sonic stared at her. Then suddenly he realized his cheeks were wet, and he went to wipe them with his gloves. Instead, Sonic found himself sinking into his hands. He gasped. 

Amy started as her husband began to sob. A second later, she slid over again on the couch and encircled him in her arms, leaning her cheek against the side of his head, rubbing a soothing hand along his back between his quills. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Sonic coughed out from behind his hands. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Amy whispered back. She continued to rub between his quills. Then she kissed his head, feeling him tremble beneath her touch.

“Do any of us really know what we’re doing?” she eventually murmured in his ear. “We’ve never done this before, and that’s scary. I’ll admit, I worry about our kids sometimes too.” 

She continued as Sonic struggled to catch his breath. “We don’t know what the future holds. But,” she said, a soft smile in her voice, “you don’t have to do this alone. You won’t be alone—I’ll be with you every step of the way. We’re in this together.” She kissed his head again. “It’ll be another grand adventure.” 

A few more shuddering breaths from Sonic, and he gradually began to still. Then he nodded, though his head still rested in his hands. “Another adventure,” he whispered. “Like it’s always been.” 

“Like it’s always been,” Amy nodded affirmative. She moved her hands to hug him around his shoulders. 

They sat there for a few minutes, neither willing to move. They could hear their three little ones playing in the other room. Monty laughed. 

“You know what I think?” Amy eventually asked. “I think that, with our kids along for the ride, it’ll be even more fun. More so than it’s ever been before.”

At that, Sonic finally smiled. “Yeah…” He lowered his hands, revealing it, then he glanced her way. “The more the merrier, right?” 

Amy giggled. “Right!” 

She stroked Sonic’s cheek for a moment. Then she stood and took Sonic’s hand. Surprised, he followed her outside onto their balcony. It had been built directly onto the tree that had become their literal treehouse, overlooking their backyard. Sonic stopped beside Amy. 

“Woah…”

A vibrant explosion of oranges and deep pinks greeted them as the sun set over the distant mountains. They stared at the glorious sight, still holding hands. 

“The beauty still gets me every time,” said Sonic.

“Yes,” Amy sighed. 

After a moment, Sonic cleared his throat. "Sorry that I—" 

“No. It’s ok.” Amy looked away from the sky and into her husband’s eyes. She squeezed his hand. “I’m glad you told me.”

Sonic’s cheeks tinged pink as he smiled, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. “Tryin’ to be better.” Then he met her eyes. “Thanks for listening.” 

Amy grinned. “Like I said: we’re in this together.” Then she pecked him on the cheek, which made Sonic laugh and blush harder. He squeezed her hand in return. He pulled her into a hug, his arms around her waist, head resting on hers while facing the sunset. 

“You know… I may still be scared silly,” he said, “but there’s no one else I’d rather be with on this crazy new family adventure than with you.”

Amy now felt herself blush. “Oh, Sonic.” She leaned into the fur on his chest, smiling as the sun ducked behind the horizon. “Me too.” 

[magicalonsomanydances]

In preparation for the Spanish Grand Prix I feel I must give my ranking of my top 10 on the Grid as some way to soothe the frustration that I have no way to watch the race.

Carlos Sainz Vazquez de Castro Cenamor Rincón Rebollo Birto Moreno de Aranda de Anteriuga Tiapera Deltun absolute king of my heart and the reason I got into this sport. The prince charming of Spain who's so classy and gracious and just such a good teammate no matter where he is at. With his powerful tractor beam big brown eyes. Long live the smooth operator! Vamos Carlos!

Esteban Ocon. Am I aware that this is like loving the problematic lead in a film or book just cause he has babygirl energy? Yes. Is that gonna stop me? Hell naw! I like his backstory, disarmed by his squishy little face, and I vowed to defend him from all harm like the minute after I watched him analyze Cars as being an accurate depiction of various racing aspects. Plus he's from the same region of France as where my family originates. So while Carlos is my F1 husband Estie is like my F1 baby bro. I will call him "teapot" it's a long story feel free to send me an ask about it. I will also call him Esteban "Can Do No Wrong" Ocon. Yes I'm fully self aware of how delulu I am about this man having no flaws (he does I've just elected to ignore them in favor of being charmed by the innocent face)

Daniel Ricciardo - I'm from Texas, I'm an extrovert, I'm legally obligated to stan this man to the moon and back. The Honey Badger is my spirit animal. Not the actual creature, just chaos gremlin Daniel. His energy is infectious and he brings the party and he loves my state. How could I do anything but support him?

George Russell - he was probably the second crush I got in F1 and I kinda love how in spite of his posh model energy he actually isn't from some moneyed or legacy background and he's so delightfully clueless at times "goat, sorry?" And the videos of him with kiddos he's so sweet and attentive to them

Checo - the Mexican minister of Defense. The down to earth friendly dad energy. He's just so solid and sweet and I love what he does to help mellow Max just by ya know being the chill dad Max never had. Also he an authentic Mexican, endorsed Tex-Mex so obvs I'm gonna love this man and wanna get tacos and drinks. He has that approachable energy and given the US's one driver might not even have a seat next year I gotta support our neighbor Mexico's driver cause I sure ain't supporting the Canadian nepo baby

Fernando Alonso - this mainly has to do with sex appeal let's be real. He's got that edgy bad boy kinda external vibe in some ways but then he's backstage arranging flowers and it's like "I could fix him and make him settle down" he's got charm style and is basically an immortal and foxy as hell. Let me try to domesticate this man please!

Charles Leclerc - sweet, I would vote him most likely to be true even while he's traveling abroad being swooned over and having fans handing him marriage licenses. He's just a little too type A for me to love him like I do my golden retriever energy chaos creatures and chill guys of the previous 6. But he's great and it's because of him and Carlos in the C² videos that I got roped into this sport so he's gotta make it. Plus after all the loss he's experienced he's a real inspiration in staying kind in spite of the pain of life

Max Verstappen - speaking of inspirations my traumatized ass can't help but support one of my own. He's an icon of breaking cycles. Yes he's definitely had his issues but he's matured in some ways and while I don't care if he wins or not on the track I'm very invested in him winning at life which him being a doting stepdad to Penelope is the kind of healing that helps me heal too. Children of hard ass dads who didn't realize their childhood was fucked up, unite! Plus he's an absolute goofball and that's endearing

Logan Sargent - I'm american, independence day is literally my favorite holiday, I have to have this man in my top 10 and I genuinely do think he's a classy guy (especially considering he's from Florida) and I can't help but love how the one American driver is just so painfully American looking. He looks like Captain America fucked an apple pie. He looks like scientists designed an American in a lab. He looks like the Beach Boys had a grandson with the descendants of Betsy Ross. He looks like a team scoured frat parties for a year to find the most American looking guy in the country. He is Logan Sargent and he is Kenough.

Valterri Bottas - his absolute self confidence and zero fucks given. He does not take himself too seriously and he is wholesome AF. He also has practical guy energy. Like if I hand to rank drivers on Most Likely to Pull Over and Help You Change a Tire he's definitely in the top 3. He seems like getting his hands dirty is something he's not too good to do and he seems like a good dude. Plus he's hilarious. He's as chaotic as Daniel in some ways he's just a little less boisterous about it. Calm chaos vs 5 year old given 16 energy drinks in an hour Ricciardo energy

[toastedkiwi]

Ohmygod! How did all the readers react to Chris being sexiest man alive?!

Shy was like “I’ve been telling you this whole time and I knew it. And it took them long enough to realize.” She did make him a cake. A sweater she made him actually made it into the photo shoot and into the magazine. Chris made sure she got credited for making that sweater.

Snowboarder cringed because that’s her dad. He’s a fucking meatball. He isn’t sexy to her. He’s a handsome dude on some occasions but nothing more. She had a buddy film her reaction which is her screaming and launching herself off a cliff. Don’t worry, there’s snow below and she’s already broken her arm.

Traumatized Daughter just had a long sigh. This wasn’t something she was expecting to happen.

Star Wars Actress was throwing him a party and was claiming “THATS MY MAN!” while Presley is like “THATS MY DADDY!”

Roomie sent him flowers with a crown and a little note that says congrats.

Model bought a bunch of magazines. Made some calls to have some of the photos blown up and framed. She’s in the process of making sure that every single one of the properties they have will have said photos. She’s also planning a big celebration on that Friday. She is gonna spoil her golden retriever.

Popstar Evans laughed because excuse me, what? That’s her brother. He’s a handsome man but sexy? That’s fucking disgusting. She does send him flowers. Henry sent him a bigger bouquet and put on the card “you fucking did it, you son of a bitch. I’m so proud of you. xoxo - your one true love.”

Haley Dunphy rolled her eyes.

BFF Kard was like “I FUCKING TOLD YOU AND YOU DIDNT FUCKING BELIEVE ME!” Plus she knew a long time ago. She knew the second he got the call. She was at the shoot. She posed him a couple times. She fluffed his hair. She gave him pep talks. She made him laugh. She composed an outfit.

Love of his life was like “and you come home to me? People’s Sexiest Man Alive?” She couldn’t believe it.

Pageant Star put a crown on his head and said, “there’s my sexiest man alive.” She had a big smile on her face.

Mama didn’t realize until a week later. She had been busy with kids and she’s been working her ass off too. She hadn’t been on social media. Also, Chris never mentioned it to her when they talk nor anybody else. She’s on the Kelly Clarkson Show to promote her latest project when Kelly tells her “congratulations on your husband being crowned the sexiest man alive last week.” Mama said “what do you mean?!” Then the magazine cover is on the screen. She literally said “what the fuck?! He didn’t tell me shit!” She walked off set and got her phone from her manager. She proceeded to call Chris. She was sent to voicemail. Kelly is laughing hysterically. Mama said “you knocked me up. —-First, you wormed your way into my life with Jackie. You then knocked me up. Trapped me! You dragged my ass to Boston to raise your mini-me’s together. You married me. And you mean to never tell me that you’re the Sexiest Man Alive? I had to find out from Kelly on the show. -I’m just done with you. Love ya but good day to you, you meatball.” Mama is just so exhausted.

Rockstar Neighbor sent him a fruit basket and leopard thong.

High School Teacher is dreading going in the next day for school.

Russian said to him “don’t be getting an eggo on me. You still a meatball. My meatball.”

Italian kissed both his cheeks and then lips. “I’m proud you got this title. You deserve it, Bambino,” she said.

Sailor knows she’s going to get shit when she comes back from leave. She can handle the America’s Ass because that’s hilarious. But Sexiest Man Alive? Try the Dumbest— the Lamest— the Boringest- the Annoyingest Man Alive. That’s her big brother, he’s not anywhere near sexy. But she did go out to dinner with him and the Rock with a few others to celebrate his title along with her being back stateside.

Kardashian has shirts made. Everyone is sent shirts. She’s got the pictures blown up and in her office (her mom does too). She surprised him on set with a cake. She humbly put in her Instagram bio “married to the sexiest man alive.”

News Reporter happily made the announcement for those who missed hadn’t seen it yet and bragged that it is her man.

Teen costar took to social media and asked for an immediate recall.

Animator sent him a drawing of Dodger with the sash that says “Goodest Boy Alive.” With Chris standing next to him in his own sash.

[leviathism]

hello, i was the one who requested the idia/floyd/reader fic and i wanted to thank u!! i love ur writing. do you think you could write more for them? like a date at the fair or an arcade

gender neutral reader

This had been your worst idea yet.

You had been looking towards the fair for the past two months now. Ever since it was announced, you had the desire to go. Who knew if fairs were different here or not?

Unfortunately, you didn’t think of your boyfriends’ personalities.

Floyd had ruined the punching bag that one festival vendor had, and you had sworn to pay the poor man back for the damages. Then Idia had almost crawled into your and Floyd’s hoodies several times to try and hide when he failed miserably at any of the games. And to top it all off, Idia didn’t want to go on any rides and Floyd was already bored.

So you sat there, miserably eating some disgusting soggy fries as you watched Idia try to throw a hoop onto a bottle to win a fish and Floyd go and harass and traumatize some small children.

You looked back to your fries, trying to reign in your mood so you didn’t snap at anyone.

Idia slumped onto the bench next to you, immediately leaning all his weight onto your side. He placed his plastic bag with his fish on the table, washing it sadly swim in the limited space it had.

“You’ll have to build him a tank,” you said, tracing a finger over the clear plastic. Idia took a fry, hungry.

“Yeah.” He didn’t seem to be in a talkative mood, which it seemed like he never was, but whatever. You ate some more fries.

There was piercing scream. Floyd came back, a content smile on his face. You gave him an unimpressed stare but didn’t say anything.

“Ya should’ve seen that girls face!” He laughed, a big dopey grin spreading across his lips.

He sat across from you and Idia, grinning more when you two greeted him. His gaze lingered on you before it drifted downwards to the wooden picnic table.

“Ooh, I saw you two got some food.” Floyd picked up the plastic bag, eyeing the fish as he mindlessly licked his lips.

Idia paled considerably but remained silent. He still struggled with saying no in your relationship, even with how close the three of you had gotten. You frowned and watched him, waiting for him to say something.

“Um… It’s not really…” Floyd began picking at where the bag was tied shut and Idia clutched desperately at the edge of the table, looking at you for help. “Uh..!”

“Floyd. It’s a friend.” You leaned your head on your propped up hand, suddenly exhausted. “It’s Idia’s new pet fish.”

Floyd frowned but obediently set the fish back on the table. Idia urgently picked it up and placed it on his lap out of Floyd’s sight.

Idia shot you a grateful look. You would have to work on his communication more, but right now… You closed your eyes. This was not how you wanted your night to go.

You sighed, a little bummed out and turned your mouth into your palm to face away from them so they couldn’t see your expression.

Then the fireworks began to set off. Idia jumped in his seat and Floyd’s laughter almost drowned out the explosions.

You sat up straight quickly, realizing the potential immediately. Bright colors, loud noises. Plus, nobody would be moving too much with groups spread in the empty fields to watch. It was perfect.

“Let’s go.” You stood up, brushing dirt off your pants. Idia stood up with you and Floyd went around the side of the table to stand next to the two of you.

“I didn’t know they had fireworks,” Idia said meekly, holding his fish to his chest.

“That’s ‘cause ya never leave your house.” Floyd elbowed him in the side making Idia glare at him.

“Let’s all be nice and kind, alright?” You sighed before Idia could snap back. You decided the three of you were never going to go to the fair again.

“Hmph, fine,” Idia muttered and began to lead the way, shoulders hiked up. You followed after him, and Floyd grabbed your hand and walked beside you.

Idia looked at the sky instead of all the people, miraculously dodging all the children running around. Meanwhile, Floyd snagged fries out of people’s containers when they weren’t looking. Criminal.

“See, this is a good spot!” You snagged the back of Idia’s hoodie, making him stumble to a stop.

“Is this it?” Floyd asked, already bored. You sighed.

“No. There’s a grand finale,” Idia moved to be behind the two of you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You were growing frustrated and Floyd seemed to notice. So he squinted his eyes at the fireworks and focused.

“I like the blue ones.” You patted his arm.

“A for effort.”

The grand finale was huge and worth it. Well, you enjoyed yourself at least. Maybe you were a little satisfied with tonight’s date.

“This was fun! We should do it again.” Idia smiled, hugging you tightly from his hidden position.

You thought for a minute and you were going to agree as maybe you could do it on a day Floyd wanted to go, but then…

“Maybe not…” You didn’t think you’d be welcomed back, especially with the sight of the security guards eyeing up Floyd currently.

[pascalsbby]

Just You / Joel Miller

I just wrote fluff (kinda). YEAH! ME! It’s really just for my own comfort but thought I’d share it anyways.

Warnings: Joel helps traumatized (mommy & daddy issues, best of both worlds bitches) neurodivergent reader not feel so bad about doing the small things that help her, like smoking a joint here n’ there. Ya know?

You filled up your water bottle and huffed at the ice tray, hating the way it’s burning your touch from lingering fingers. You can’t not have cold water for when your throat dries. Can’t have outside time without it. You had filled the tray up too far, again. Well this was again, again. You’d only used it a few times since Joel stumbled into the kitchen with it last week. “So your water’a be cold when you’re swingin’.” He presented it to you with his crooked grin.

Now, he was looking at you from the back of the couch. “Bring it ‘er baby. It’s been overfilled a little too much. But thats s’okay- now we both know.” It wasn’t a reprimand pointing to you, with a “you weren’t smart enough to know that? ice expands…?” tone. It was a suggestion, just something he happened to notice… something he wanted to help you with.

You were grateful that despite the really shitty past couple of months, he still didn’t shy away from recentering you- guiding you, more so. The facade of your trauma being ‘not that bad these things happen to everyone,” never really faded behind the memories, but in college it fell drastically. Not being to sit through a class in the lecture hall because (Mr.) Professor’s voice was echoing the walls of the lecture hall (your mind) too loudly. Getting out of the four walls of your bedroom forced a lot of realizations towards you. But it wasn’t until your mid-20’s that it just completely collapsed- watching other people’s father’s grow the fuck up (age) and apologize to them, their mothers, their little brothers- maybe sometimes you. But not you- you. Narcissism feels too good in his proud chest.

Mom went to therapy, so she thinks she’s done her part. She did, for herself. Sure. But they were never meant to save you, you knew that.

It wasn’t until you got to know Joel that you saw there were parents who tried to understand, and a safe (even if just inside their own four-walled house) environment really did make the difference. Sarah, for example. He was considerably older, stern, and gentle. He looked like he could take care of you- not just by the thickness of his arms and veined neck, but the width of his grasp upon you- around you, inside of you. You dirty thing, you, shhh.

You hadn’t been able to smoke in a couple weeks and it felt like it was catching up to you. Yeah, yeah, it sounds bad even while I stumble through this validation. But it helped and you were sick and fucking tired of pretending it wasn’t. Finally something was helping. You’d put it off in guilt for years until finally trying it and realizing that your thoughts quitely deduced themselves to leaving your own mind and joining the waves on the back of the singing cicadas. Or the sound of the night sky above your neighbors air-conditioner box. It was 106 degrees today. Don’t think about it too deeply. You begged of yourself, then thought how long you begged for someone to listen to you and magically solve the problem. A diagnosis feels good until it starts being ignored, again. And then the thought passed and that was all. Deep breathes, cool air rising from the ground.

You spent twenty-plus years stuck inside the shell of yourself, pulling on whatever mask needed to be worn. A lot of the time the plastic behind them stuck to each other and creaked like sharp rocks screeching against glass. You wore so many masks all the time. The shoulders of the character were always the same though; staunched upwards and perpetually flexed.

The breeze of wind feels like Texas summers against the back of your neck. The warmth of the breeze furthering the condensation below your eyes and above your cheeks. You’re not in Texas anymore- although sometimes it feels like it with him. These memories were happy. They feel like resurfacing-s of something, someone. You. Little you.

This was your diary, the swing on the back porch of y’alls house, halfway on the concrete and hallway into the world. Big Dipper to the right, always. Joel usually to the left, neck bent backwards laying against the swing as his long legs gently pushed off the warm and resting ground. He had one hand over his stomach, resting, the other pointing in front of both of your eyes towards whichever constellations he’s telling you stories about tonight. Poetry, him.

He noticed your hesitation, holding the water bottle to your chest and quickly drinking it instead of taking the joint out of it’s tube. The fact that something so calming to your psyche should make you feel so guilty? “You know you’re not in trouble, sweet thing. I can go inside if ya’wanna be alone.” He started getting up and you chuckled at him, lovingly.

“I know.”

Unspoken but perfectly clear. He settled back, put one of his fingers around the top of the container and popped it open, taking out the Barbie pink lighter you had hid in there a couple weeks ago, too. He handed it to you, watched your lips as you rested it between them and then the lighter flickered against his warm skin. You breathed in the fire and slowly exhaled all of the bullshit stuck inside of you back out into the world, off to dissipate before your eyes.

“You’re okay here, baby. I got ya, rest some,” he paused, his eyes meeting yours, making sure you’re paying attention to his words of care, “okay?” He nods.

“Okay.” You nod back. Not even followed by an ‘I’m sorry’ on your part. You didn’t have to be sorry around Joel. You just had to be you, and it turns out that she’s still in there somewhere, and she feels like she’s clawing her way out of you. Will be she 9 or 17? Probably anything but 25.

°:. *₊ ° . ° .• ♡

This is utterly and completely written for myself. I’m trying to write and get things out so they aren’t sitting in my chest, ya know? (I am so okay! Just growing ((that frontal lobe y’all, they weren’t kidding))). I’m really happy I feel like writing about it, it’s easier to conceptualize my feelings and recognize them as important and real when I write them like this.

It’s Apple Friter btw (flower strain). Hehe.

I did live in Texas for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if my Joel talking in a Texas accent sounds too much like Joel talking in an actual Texas accent/way and it looks obnoxious. Lol. But I’m thinkin’ of how all those old men talk, every time I write his voice HAHA.

Love you. And you. And I hope you sleep so well.

[aquarii-writes]

Dsmp Headcanons

So ngl I've been really into the dream smp recently and I've been doing a bit of art for it so why not give my headcanons? Also all of these are for the characters not the content creators

Notes: the song referenced in Karl's headcanons is seasonal feathers music box version. This is all I have for now. I’ve lurked around the fandom since about early February and beware this is fucking long

WARNINGS: In some of these I do mention dead parents(various), death in general and as an entity(Philza), alcoholism(Schlatt), and traumatic experiences. None are in detail but just beware. Oh and a slight suicide warning for Dream

DREAM

Dream got his mask from his father and Drista got hers from their mother

His mask is specifically a gift from his mother after his father died

Dreams mask is infused with dreamons. His parents made a deal with a few dreamons and the dreamons now live in the masks

He will never say what his eye color is because he doesnt care, but if you can catch him without the mask you'll see his eyes are an amber color

He watched his mother commit when he was about 12~ and when Drista was 6. At the time he didnt want to understand why

WILBUR SOOT(plus Ghostbur)

Wilbur's mother is a fox hybrid(cause ya know I live by the saying that canon is my sandbox and a fuckin fridge doesnt make sense)(Momza anyone?)

His beanie is from his mother along with his love of singing

He has records of his parents singing

He has wings it's just that he never learned to fly

Ghostbur can see various other ghosts he just doesnt realize that no one else can see them

Ghostbur has selective amnesia. He genuinely cant remember parts of his life but some moments are too vivid to forget

FOOLISH GAMERS

He can partially shapeshift to make himself bigger or smaller(23 fuckin feet tall without changing height)

His son, Foolish jr, is biologically his and Jr is a demigod

Jr is too small to see the world yet so Foolish keeps him in an enderchest

Foolish is fully a god

He really likes turtles no damn reason

Aside from keeping his son in a chest, Foolish is a relatively good dad

He's a very good builder and rarely takes time to sleep when hes working on a commission for someone

He is most certainly strong enough to break the egg though he doesnt want to get involved for his sons sake

SAPNAP

He is a hybrid blaze born

BBH found Sap in the middle of the Nether playing with a few baby piglins

He met Quacky before Karl but Karl is the reason the three got together

TECHNOBLADE

Dispite how loud the voices can be sometimes l they can be rather peaceful. They really only get violent during fights

(Based off my techno design) the skull techno uses as a mask is a hoglin skull

Personally I dont think Philza adopted Techno as a son but Techno kinda became friends with Philza when he was just a kid

Techno was a very small child: especially in comparison to the village he came from in the Nether

Piglin hybrid piglin hybrid

Does not know who his parents are all he knows is that his glasses are from his mother

He has a baby sister(the two are half siblings; they have the same dad)

He literally doesnt need the glasses he just keeps them for the aesthetic and because its the only thing he has from his mom

He has a soft spot for Michael and Michelle since all three of them are forms of piglins

FUNDY

He has very vague memories of his mother

Looks stupidly similar to is grandmother; momza

He has a picture of Philza and Momza on their wedding day

One day when he was just a kid,like 14ish, he found an old sword that used to be Philzas and just never told Phil that he took it

KARL JACOBS

He's time traveled less after getting engaged to Quackity and Sapnap

Most of the books he writes never see the light of day again

Some of his books were actually found by one of Ranboo's descendants(not Ranbob)

One of his more scary experiences is when he accidentally met Dream when he was little. Momma Dream almost killed Karl

He's slightly immune to the effects of dreamon possession

He once found an old music box within the inbetween and he hasnt found a name for the song on the music box

PHILZA

He's known as the Angel of Death, or Deaths Angel for a reason(go look at @resonating-kitty s headcanon post about this. Ngl I love it and think it needs more attention)

After the 'death' of Momza, Philza swore to never love till he met Death once more

He remembers a time where hybrids used to be a lot more common: humans will fuck anything remotely humanoid

He doesnt remember if he has parents. By the time Wilbur was old enough to ask about them Philza made up the story that his parents went on to greet death when Wilbur was a baby

He's the reason for Momza's 'death'

SCHLATT

I really like the idea of Schlatt being Tubbo's dad even though it probably wont be canon

When Schlatt was little he watched his father but heads with other ram/sheep hybrids(he found it very funny)

He has a horrid tendency to headbutt people he has strong emotions towards

How hard he headbutts you really depends on what emotions he feels in that moment. The more loving/kind the emotion is the softer he'll be

When in a good mood Schlatt would let Quackity touch his horns

Glatt is a dick head and he knows this. He plays it up to piss people off even more

He comes from a rather large community of ram/sheep hybrids though his family in particular was a little violent

Schlatts first name is Jamison

He has a small ram plush from when he was little: his mother gave it to him before she died

His mother was an alcoholic before him though she was a very sad drunk

THE ERET

Herobrine is their cousin

He is very willing to do next to anything to succeed at something

He doesnt remember his family name

As a kid Eret's mother used to tell them stories of kings and queens. She told them that they could be a ruler one day if they worked hard enough

Their mums name was Elenora

GEORGENOTFOUND

(Based off of @/sctbrr on Twitter. I adore the au they made off this) George is a reincarnation of DreamXD's past lover.

Heterochromia heterochromia

His eyes are brown(left) and blue(right)

His clout glasses allow him to see color

RANBOO

Because he can’t remember his other half he doesn’t know what all he can/can’t do

Though one thing he’s noticed is that he can see much better in the dark than actual people; doesn’t know if he’s half enderman or his other half

As a kid he would pretend to be a dragon with someone. He has a feeling that the person was his father

He has two crowns. One from Techno and one from his mother; it’s one of the few things he genuinely remembers from when he was little

He sees a lot of Tubbo in Michael

Speaking of Michael, the lil one is only about three

TUBBO

He doesn’t know who his parents are and really only saw Philza as a father figure

He’s a ram hybrid like Schlatt

For the longest time he thought bees could understand him

[local-spoon-does-a-thing]

Doomguy and VEGA with a child reader

A/N: Here's a little something as I continue to write the other headcanons :) also just letting you know that this is all COMPLETELY platonic.

Backstory info

I think we can all agree that Doomguy found you during a mission

While he was looking around and killing demons, VEGA spotted you in the area

The A.I gave your location, mentioning that you were an alive human child

Immediately, the big guy went to search for you

After some short time passes by, he finds you behind some rubble of a broken down building

Luckily you weren't crushed by it, just trapped

Carefully, he proceeded to approach you without scaring you

"Hey, I'm going to get you out of there, okay? I'm not going to hurt you. Move when I tell you to."

Kind of hard to believe that since he's like 6'8" and wearing a bulky ass suit

But if you wanted to live, then you were gonna have to trust him

After you hesitantly nodded your head, he was quick to lift the rubble up just enough so you can squeeze your way out

Once you move, he'll drop the whole thing and grab you before the ceiling could collapse on the both of you

Nice, he got you out

....Now what?

Your parents were most likely dead

The evacuated survivors were out of orbit plus they were cyrogenically frozen

Earth was no longer safe as every "safe" place had a high chance of being invaded

The only solution for now was to just take you back to the fortress with him

Deciding to go with him willingly or fight back is up to you. Just know that in the end, you end up in the fortress

VEGA is there to check any injuries you may or may not have

Just a broken arm and some cuts and wounds. Nothing too major

After everything has been treated and you get a little cast, the big guy would ask you some questions

Of course, he'd have to take off his suit if he didn't want to scare you

He'll ask questions like, "what's your name?" "do you know where your parents are?" "how old are you?" etc etc

Uhh for the sake of this fic let's just say that everyone you know and love died

Wow, traumatic and angsty much?

DG and VEGA will of course introduce themselves and show you around along with more reassurance that they'll take care of you

Doomguy

Anyway, the real headcanons start after that whole background info thing

First off, he'll definitely lend you his comic books, let you play his video games, and play with his action figures (as long as you don't break them)

His nicknames for you would be: sweet pea, pumpkin, little rabbit

Will also definitely read you bed time stories (lowkey have a feeling that he would be reading off of his own testaments)

Would make an attempt to "ground" you if you're being bratty and annoying, but in the end he probably won't since you're just too cute and small

Honestly I think he would be a great father-figure or great uncle-figure or at the very least a great older brother-figure

If you're excited, it won't be long until he gets excited too

Like I don't know if it's just me but a child's excitement is contagious

Doomguy will almost always have the urge to pinch or poke your squishy cheeks

On a more serious side, if you just so happen to be dealing with the traumatic events of the hell invasion (who wouldn't), he will always be there for you

If you can't sleep, he'll sing you a lullaby

Like this man's deep and gruff voice can lull anyone to sleep (whenever he's not killing demons)

If that doesn't work, then he'll just lay with you and tell you one of his many victorious battle stories

He intentionally makes it a bit exaggerated and silly since well...you're a kid

Ya don't realize it but you made him soft

100% does not regret it at all

In a nutshell: he's just fueling the flames of your excitement

VEGA

For how he met you would be the same

VEGA finds you, Doomguy rescues you, the robot treats your wounds

The A.I is most certainly more responsible than DG

He's basically both the big guy's and your mother-figure

I don't think he would have any nicknames for you and would just call you by your first name

Will lightly scold you if you did something wrong or act bratty

Does not hesitate to ground you

....but if you give him the puppy eyes there's a chance that you'll be able to escape the punishment

It only works like 30% of the time

He just wants the best for you

Then again...you are a kid and this is what kids are supposed to do

Anyway, while DG takes care of the more emotional ans playful side, VEGA takes on the actual care

Like check ups, feeding you, taking care of clothes, etc

He's 100% the one to give you education

But he isn't heartless and won't give you piles of work or make the lessons boring like a high school teacher

He'll ask DG on how to make the work seem more fun and interesting

It actually works

While the big guy is out on missions, you'll either be playing his video games and reading his comics or helping out VEGA with whatever you can do in your ability

Since there's a child in the fortress now, the place has to be a bit more clean and not dirty

He'll give you some chores like sweeping the floors and such but not without giving fun little challenges

"If you do this under 20 minutes, DG will have a surprise for you."

In a nutshell: VEGA is your new mom

End notes: Woo sorry it's short. I might make a part 2 for this tho. Hope y'all enjoyed.

[writingsfromhome]

Writingsfromhome Masterlist

🎼-based off a song  |  ☁️-fluff  

Here’s all my fics in one place, I’ll add to it as I write (if I remember lol) and pin this so it’s easy to find. Thanks for reading <;3

***

🎼 Wish You Were Sober

🎼 Lookalike / Pt 2

🎼 Josslyn / Pt 2

🎼 Sorry x Rare .

🎼 What are you Listening To?

🎼 Golf on TV

🎼 Echoes of the Night we Met

🎼 The Golden Years

• Bus Girl (T Holland)

☁️Good Luck Charm

☁️Collaboration

☁️Seaside Surprise

☁️ Stormy Night

☁️ Ocean Painting

☁️ The Same Page

☁️ Winner’s Choice

☁️ Crystal Clear

☁️ DWD One-Shot

☁️ School Photos

• Shedding Memories

• Things to Learn (WIP)

Popular/mean girl!YN and Nerd!Harry fic

• Invisible Load

Harry always gets on your nerves, and reminds you of the past you’re trying to move on from. Unfortunately, you’re stuck on holiday together.

• Office Hookup

You do the thing you said you’d never do & now have to live with the consequence of hooking up w the person you work under (Office!Harry)

• Three’s Company

You and Harry are BFFs but you’re also dating his best friend. When he confesses a secret, it changes the trajectory of your friendship.

• If you Love Something (2 Pt + One-shots)

You and Harry had a brief but intense relationship as teenagers, and were forced to make a tough decision then. It's aftereffects linger for the rest of your lives.

• Hot Waters (2 Pt)

You’re a manager at a posh hotel & 1 troublesome guest ends up being a Mr. Styles

• A June Love Story/Pt 2/Epilogue

A series of Junes that span your life and Harry’s. Each June gives a glimpse into where the two of you are in your separate lives, and the intertwining that becomes inevitable.

• Nuclear Family (5 Pt + Epi + Christmas Extra)

Dad!Harry in which you’re separated but have a kid together. You’re forced to live w him when you visit London over the summer so your daughter can spend time with him, it makes life messy, and confusing emotions arise.

• Plus a Little Extra (4 Pt)

YA!Harry’s your best friend but when he gets a new girlfriend you realize that maybe he’s more than your best friend to you. The question is whether things can ever go back to normal…

• Bad Timing (4.5 Pts)

After a traumatic event at your place of work, your ex-husband Detective!Harry is back in your life. U don’t know which’s more traumatic lol

• Chapters (7.5 Pts)

You’re a single mother out w your kid when you bump into your ex Harry, there’s a complicated history + a secret you hold tightly and everything unravels as your paths collide again.

• Endgame (3 Pts)

The new guy at work hates you at first sight and you’re miserable now that you have to work with him. Little do you realize the two of you might actually share a pretty complicated past.

• Single Solidarity (2 Pt)

Harry and you are best friends, the two single people in your group of friends. Things start to change however when you get a boyfriend.

• The Ex-Text (3 Pts)

You know Harry as the stranger who texted you to tell you your boyfriend was cheating on you, with his (ex) gf. When the two of you are invited to their wedding, you decide to go together. Except things aren’t as they seem.

• Impossibly Real (2 Pts)

You live next door to Harry, and never saw him much more than a neighbour while you lived your own lives and tried to make something out of your dating life. But after a particularly rough date, Harry helps you back on your feet...

• Red Rose (2/WIP)

Unfinished WIP: dipping into the fantasy genre; on a bad night you wander into a pub open late at night but the pub’s patrons are not what they look. A handsome guy helps you out and the night sets off a chain of events that even fate couldn’t stop.

***

Other

Text (quotes + inspiration)

[wirethroat]

Hey, congrats again on ya boy Lugosi becoming a character in SinDec!! I for one am really excited to see him start popping up in future SinDec fanart. I hope this isn't too big a request, but can you talk about him and what he's like here?👀 *I* know all kinds of things about him, but most people don't! He'll be portrayed by others better the better he's known, and plus it'll be handy to me to know more of what's different between him in the game VS him in the vampire AU. And don't worry about rambling or making the post too long!! Feel free to go ham with the little guy!!

It's not too big a request!! I love lore posts. I've had many thoughts on the Little Guy, but I've never posted because I guess talking about special inch rests is Cring now.

So, Lugosi.

It's not explicitly stated in canon, but I'm pretty sure he originated Somewhere in the industry. @disparu-gaming has stated that one of the expiraments that the G-team were conducting involved trying to see if the corruption could be contained in a pure vessel. Apparently they have a piece or fragment of Abram as well, so I headcannon that Lugosi was one of the unfortunate vessels they were testing on, and was implanted with this fragment. I can't decide whether or not he became a test subject willingly or not, but he was definitely the kind of person who would do something like that for the greater good, so I'm leaning towards the former.

Well, as it turns out, having a concentrated ball of corruption shoved inside of you has some averse effects on the psyche! Lugosi has a link with Abram, and I'm not entirely sure how strong or clear it is (never stated in canon), but if I had to write it I would probably say it extends to limited conversation and visits during dreams. However, Abram never canonically mentions Lugosi whatsoever, so I'm not for certain on that. Lugosi would probably begin experience things like emotions that don't belong to him, memories that aren't his, unexplained anger and irritability, spontaneous vomiting and other forms of his body trying to expel the corruption (similar to radiation poisoning), and severe paranoia and delusions. Plenty of things that get corrupted are given forbidden knowledge and seem to know of Abram. Viruses have a way sometimes of warping the minds of their hosts, so I like to think that sometimes those who are too lost in the Abram sauce are interested in furthering his self propagation, just like real viruses. So Lugosi experiences the god equivalent of radiation poisoning (minus losing his fantastic hair) and begins feeling this all consuming, overwhelming desire to help this guy he keeps hallucinating and feeling the emotions of. Like many other corrupted monsters, he probably has some kind of powers, so we'll just use that to explain how he escaped.

Lugosi is a very lonely character. I know he would be very young at the proposed time of experimentation/corruption, so he wouldn't have much of a background or friend group pre-Abram. Basically all he has is his faith in Abram, who may or may not even realize that Lugosi exists, or worse, may know but not care. He's in constant pain, as his body is literally being eaten from the inside out, and is perpetually under the strain of having some kind of mental link with a god who's mind is literally diseased. He has consistent delusions and hallucinations (mostly of Abram being near him, talking to him, and telling him things) and has been known to cease his preaching to occasionally stare off into the nothingness for a little while. Yet, he is a very willful person. Lugosi, obviously has a great tolerance to pain, but in addition to being resilient against his own body's woes, he also endures not having a home, and speaking almost 24/7. I think he would take very few breaks, and would only leave the podium to try and scavenge for food or write down his next sermons subject. He would sleep when he collapsed from exhaustion. Honestly I think the only reason Lugosi hadn't been taken away from his spot in the city is because his presence was too much for normal, fretful elsen to try to remove. Also, he has a knife and knows how to use it. So aside from his sermons and his faith, he doesn't have much. Even if Abram could and did speak to him, he wouldn't be able to talk much, being so busy. You can see how desperate he is for any kind of stable, genuine relationship in how he latches on to the Batter almost immediately.

But dispite his unfortunate existence, Lugosi is a highly empathetic and compassionate individual. If he was somehow removed of his ailments and given a sound mind again, he would still choose Abram, because he would genuinely think Ab was horrifically wronged and would want him to recieve justice. He sneaks the player healing tickets (he actually does this in game) because he doesn't want to offend his supposed savior, but still worries about his health regardless of his faith. He realizes that the Batter is uncomfortable talking about the entertainment district after he's all but traumatized by Jadon. Lugosi can be very kind, he just doesnt often get the chance to show it because of his frantic, end of the world mentality.

I think that his Red end, as fucked up as it is that fully comprehending the rage of his most beloved literally shatters his skull and drives him to massacre, is a good ending for him. Lugosi would want to go out with a bang, after feeling basically useless his whole life. He got to die giving his whole world proof of his devotion, even as fucked up as it is that he expressed that love by committing mass murder (haha, pun). He willed himself to survive being corrupted, he willed himself to live through his torturous, abram dominated existence, he willed himself to understand his God, and completed his life's work, destroying the church after assisting in Abram's victory.

His Blue end? Haha, not so much.

But yeah. There's my boy in a nutshell. Thanks so much for the ask! I enjoyed ranting about him.

[sadselfhelp]

Who I Am, And Why I Created This Blog.

TRIGGER WARNINGS - Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Violence, Drug Overdose, Suicide, Psychotic Breaks. 

Take a walk with me, let me show you around the mind of The Sad Hatter.

There's a lot going on in my head right now, and I feel like I'm on the precipice of something. I'm standing on a cliff's edge and I'm either going to plummet or I'm going to fly. It's been building inside me for a long time, and I can't contain it anymore. So here it is, here's me laid bare, because I need to say this, I need to put it into words. I need to purge it all. To try and make sense of all of this shit in my brain, I think it's time I organize it. I don't know where to begin, but I guess I start at the beginning and make use of the ability to edit.

Before you read this, please be aware of the trigger warnings. And please understand that this is the most honest and open I have been, I really am stripped bare in this piece of writing. It’s not at all pretty, and am I not guiltless in parts. This may well alter whatever opinion you have of me. 

I guess the beginning is birth, right? But I don't want to rehash all that trauma, so let me speed through it. Twenty-Eight years ago I was born, violently. I'm serious, I ripped my way out of the womb, and tore that thing apart. I guess I can sort of understand why my mother couldn't love me after that was my first act, collapsing her womb. So let me speedrun this part of the story. Mum didn't want me, gave me to my dad who raised me as a single parent with the help of his parents, until he met my stepmother. Shockingly, she didn't want me either, but because she couldn't get rid of me she decided to physical and psychological torture was the next best thing. 

When I was eleven years old I snapped and didn't want to put up with it anymore, so I wrote a goodbye note and then snuck into the medicine cabinet and took a bunch of pills. Spoiler alert, I didn't die. I did however end up in a children's home, cue more abuse, little bit of bullying and sexual assault etc.... I snapped again, but instead of turning my anger inwards, I became an absolute bastard. Ok, I still turned it inwards a bit, I had a lot of anger, and now I have a few hundred scars to prove it. But, it turns out that violence can beget violence, and I acted out in every possible way. Racked up a horrifying rap sheet, assault, vandalism, arson, and finally... GBH. I was supposed to get put in a secure unit (child prison – Scottish Edition) but I was always able to talk myself out of trouble. 

See, I was this tiny little white girl with big sad eyes and a hell of a sob story, even at the bottom of the food chain I still had privilege. So instead of getting locked up, I just got sent to a different home. And here's the really messed up part, this home was better. The staff were nicer, and nobody hurt me. My behavior literally changed overnight. I went from being charged by the police on a weekly basis, to never getting so much as a pocket money sanction. I will never excuse my actions, nor condone them, but after years of guilt I finally realized that the bad things I did were in retaliation to a bad situation, and though I wasn’t acting like a good person, I’m not a bad person, just a messed up one. 

I still refused to go to school though, because though I didn't yet know it at the time, I had severe social anxiety. I was smart, a little too smart to be honest, and I found myself thriving with a private tutor. When the time came to sit my exams, someone fucked up, and despite having record breaking test scores on the pre-exams, I never actually got to sit my standard grades (think SAT's – Scottish Edition). I'm still bitter about that. So by this point in the story, I'm 16, and legally an adult, too old for a children's home. I got turfed to a hostel, and the next few parts of the story are pretty fuzzy to me. 

This is where my mental health really started to deteriorate. I bounced between homeless hostels and B&B's for a year or so, until I got a my first flat/apartment. By that point, I was utterly fucked in the head. I was blacking out frequently, for anywhere between a couple of minutes to three days. I would come back to myself in sometimes compromising positions, and once there was blood. A lot of blood, splashed all over the walls. Then there was the time I suddenly found myself standing in the kitchen, about to plunge a knife into my own chest.

Nobody ever did tell me what the hell that was about. Or maybe they did and I just... forgot? But because I was extremely suicidal, a doctor finally decided to do something, and the police and the paramedics came to my door to take me to the psychiatric hospital. I spent ten months there while I cycled through various anti-psychotics and anti-depressants, and was 'rehabilitated into society'. The second I was out, I made the worst decision I have ever made in my life. If I can give you one piece of advice, one lesson to take from my shitshow of a life, it's this: Don't move hundreds of miles away to be with the guy you met online while you were having a psychotic break.

I've never really thought of myself as a victim, but I guess I'm the only one who saw it that way. Ben, that was his name, Ben was a monster, and I didn't know it until it was too late. He never hit me, never lifted a hand to me, he never had to. He could put a knife in my hand and make me hurt myself for his entertainment. I had told him everything, so he knew exactly how to break me down, how to make me want to bleed. He locked me in a house and used me up. And when I had enough, and tried to break free of him, he would just tell the police I was mentally ill and they would smile sympathetically and give me back to him.

But then my dad had a breakdown. My dad, who when he found out what my stepmother was doing to me, buried his head in the sand and packed my little suitcase for me. I hadn't spoken to him in a while until he reached out from the same psychiatric ward I had not long vacated. He had cracked under the realization that I had never lied about her, and the guilt broke him apart. I could have hated him, if it had happened a few years earlier then I would have. But I had experienced enough of the world to learn a few things, like how easily it is to fuck up, and that no matter how strong you are, you aren't immune to monsters. The truth was he was as much a victim of her evil as I was. She had manipulated him, played with his head, used his insecurities against him. So I helped him through his issues, the way I wished someone had helped me. That doesn't really make me a good person, it just makes me human.

But my dad got better, and found his footing. And when he did, he realized something wasn't right with me, and I told him the truth about Ben. My dad had left me to suffer at the hands of an abuser once before, and he wasn't going to allow it to happen again. He came and got me, and he took me home. He moved me in with him, gave me his bed and slept on the couch. After a couple of months, he helped me get my own place.

And that's the happy ending, right? All the trauma was over, I was safe, that's where the story should end. Right? I bet you're not naive enough to believe that, but I sure as hell was. I thought I would recover and that everything would be ok. I thought that with safety, there would come the chance to heal. I thought my wounds would scab over, and I would have my scars but at least I would be able to move without bleeding out. But that's not how trauma works. I had two decades worth of trauma, abuse, and hell.

I just... faded. I didn't crack, I didn't crumble, I didn't break, I just stopped. For five years I sat in one room of my home, drowning inside myself. Last year I got handed a lifeline, and now I live somewhere better. I'm not really allowed to live independently so I actually live in kind of retirement village of all places. I have my own house, but it's got intercoms and emergency cords everywhere, I get checked on daily by on on-site worker. And I'm trying to get better, I really am. It's just not that easy.

There's more to the whole story that I maybe should have put in, like the fact that my mother was a drug addict when she was pregnant with me, and that may have been the reason some of my organs didn't properly form and/or formed wrong. My lung split in half when I was a baby, and parts of my stomach are missing. Or that my mother is full on batshit insane. I could have had a perfect childhood and I still would have been mentally ill. Hell, I was seeing psychologists at five years old. Take my sketchy genetics, add twenty years of severe traumas, and well... I'm a little fucked up. Because a lot of medical conditions use acronyms, my full list of diagnosis looks like I'm collecting the fucking alphabet.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and Agoraphobia. I also have a Pulmonary Sequestration, Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia, the stomach and lung issues. Immune Hemolytic Anemia, I'm basically allergic to my own blood. Plus, ya know, my liver recently decided to just fucking nope out, the pissy lil bitch is failing. I also may or may not have cancer, I don't know because I pussied out of the tests. At this point I am a walking, decaying corpse that is held together by glitter glue and bitterness.

So... why exactly am I writing this? And why am I even considering posting this? I mean, my problems aren't as bad as some other people's. We've all got shit to deal with, especially in 2020. The whole world is falling apart, so what right do I have to sit here pouting and pouring my problems out? Well, for a start, I guess this is my blog, I can post whatever, and it's up to everyone else if they read it.

So here it is, you have the backstory, so here's what it's all been leading up to.

I'm struggling. Like, really struggling. I'm stuck on this cliff, and I want off, any way I can. Whether I fall or fly, I just want free. I can't live like this anymore, because I can't breathe.

The fucking agonizing duality of being socially anxious and too easily overstimulated, and yet feeling fucking empty inside if you're not surrounded by action and noise. The world is too noisy for my brain, but my brain is too noisy for the world. I get antsy if I'm not doing at least a thousand different tasks, but I get overwhelmed if I try to do anything at all. It leads to short bursts of mania, followed by weeks of depression. But underneath all of that, under all the dramatic showboating, and the dark humor, under all the bravado... I'm really just sad.

Years ago, when I first came up with the moniker "The Sad Hatter", I said it was because I may be mad, but my madness was born of sadness. I'm just sad. I carry it with me where my heart should be. So I named myself Sad, and I put on the hat, and I wore my sadness like armor, turned it into an act, and made a spectacle of it. "I'm The Sad Hatter, and I'm mentally ill but that's alright, I'm going to be just fine!" I told you all I had my issues, and I'll come close to opening up about how bad those issues are, I'll give little chunks of information at intermittent intervals, and then two hours later I'll act like it never happened. I'll admit I was close to killing myself, and then two days later I'll post dog photo's and act like I'm all better.

I'm writing this because I'm sad. And tomorrow, I'll act like I'm not. But when I waver again, I'll come back here and I'll open up again. And along the way, maybe you're reading this and realizing you aren't alone in feeling overwhelmed. Maybe you're realizing you're not the only one who isn't healing neatly and in a timely manner. Maybe you're reading this and gaining some insight into the struggles someone you care about is facing. Maybe my opening up is can help somebody else, I really hope so, but I know it's helping one person. It's helping me.

This blog, it's about living with myself. It's about living with The Sad Hatter.

[thepaperpanda]

A Dream || Part II || Sam Drake x Reader smut

Summary: How surprised Sam is when he meets you in the prison, and when it turns out you're the friend of Adler. Fortunately, Drake lets you play a little game with him.

Warnings: SMUT!!

Words: 4905

Authors: Cass & Rouge

♠

Sam was looking at a stone ceiling that was softly illuminated with a bright light that was getting in through the small window.

He was thinking about you while laying on his bunk. He was afraid that all of this was just a dream or at last a really successful way of getting him into Rafe’s dirty, little paws.  There were a thousands of thoughts running through his mind.

All this was suddenly interrupted by two guards telling Sam that he was free. Apparently Rafe bailed him out and soon Samuel Drake was free again, he was able to simply walk out of the prison.

Dressed normally again, with bag on his shoulder Sam looked around and frowned as he spotted Rafe.

"Samuel Drake! It's nice to see you! Alive and well. I hope they weren't too hard on you there?" He asked with a mean smile.

"Oh yea, it was a heaven there." Sam muttered.

Rafe rolled his eyes and wrapped arm around Sam's shoulder to lead him into a car. "Oh, I know, I know, Sam, but look at you! Alive and well."

Sam didn't say anything. He simply climbed into the car, letting Rafe drive. Sam good knew that Rafe wanted the treasure, so he agreed on this shit.

--------------------

After few hours of drive, Rafe stopped the car. They were in front of a hotel.

"Now, Sam. Let's be open about stuff, okay? I want a treasure and you want your freedom. Be a good boy, and don't try to run because I will make sure to find you and your little brother." Rafe summed up as soon as he stopped in front of Sam's room. "Tonight you are free, but tomorrow we start searching, okay?"

Sam wanted to punch Rafe in this stupid face, but it wasn't a good idea. For now. "Okay." He muttered and entered the room, locking the door behind him. Man let out a deep sigh and flopped on a soft bed, the feeling of freedom was something he desired for years.

Sam was ready to fell asleep when a pack of cigarettes with a pink bow and a card got his attention. Sitting up, Sam grabbed the box and looked at it, those were a very good and expensive cigs. He pulled one out and lit it, looking at the card. 'Come and met me in the bar. Y/N'

His eyes widened, immediately Sam got up and ran to the hotel bar.

You were wearing a red, shirt dress, fitted one that emphasized the curves of your figure.

The black high heels completed your outfit.

As long as you entered the bar, the attention of all the men gathered there were moved to you. Some of them whistled in awe. You sent them a brief smile, and with a swing in your hips you approached the bar, taking a seat at a hooker. "Martini, please," you ordered with a little smile sent to the bartender, who checked you out with a wry grin, licking the corners of his mouth.

You tapped the counter with your long nails, awaiting for the one special man to come...

You were more than pleased as soon as you heard that Rafe got Sam out of the prison.

Few weeks have passed since your last meeting, and, you had to admit it, you were missing the touch of this man a lot.

Sam was more than thankful that he could freely smoke in this hotel. He entered the bar and looked around, looking for you. It wasn't particularly hard, you were the most stunning human being in this whole place.

Sam let out some smoke and looked down on himself, he didn't look too bad actually but still, he was worried it might be not enough for you. He straightened his jeans jacket and walked to the bar, using a moment of your distraction. "Hello there, beautiful. Can I offer you another drink?" Sam said with a soft pur, sitting on the stool right next to you.

You pretended you haven't noticed his presence, do you smirked and nodded head a little. "If you will guess what do I drink, I'll let you buy me a drink, sir," you replied, and tilted head aside to look at him above your shoulder.

"Well, thinking about such a beautiful and stunning lady like you..." Sam hummed looking at your drink and thinking about the right answer. "... I would say it's a martini, a fine drink for a fine lady like you."

He smiled at you, in a deep disbelieve he was seeing you again. This was proof you weren't just a dream. You were here now, with him and for him.

You gave him a little nod of your head, just a tiny one, barely noticeable, but you knew he understood.

You turned to him on your chair, crossing legs nicely, making sure that your dress moved a little up your thighs, uncovering the flesh of your legs.

Sam licked his lips checking your body from the bottom to the top. Oh, how happy he was that you were here, he was already getting excited about this meeting.

"Oh, you finally decided to look at me, missy? I'm glad to see those beautiful eyes looking at me." He said with his charming smile.

You nodded and sipped from your glass. "I did. And I don't regret, mister," you told him.

You slowly downed the drink, letting fee drops to fall on your cleavage, you slowly ran the tip of your tongue along the line of your lips covered in red lipstick.

Sam chuckled and licked his lips once again, looking at your beautiful lips. "You know, I have a nice room with a big bed. Maybe you would like to visit me tonight? I am an ex-prisoner, a warm and nice body as yours would be a real consolation for my poor, wretched soul and body."

"I don't know, darling. I don't know if I am allowed to do so," you teased as you stretched one of your legs, and rubbed it against his knee.

It was when Rafe has approached the two of you, with the wry smirk of his on his lips.

"Oh well, I can see you keep whoring around as always, love." Rafe smiled wrapping arm around your shoulder. "I can see that our dear Sammy here ran after the bone. Like a good dog he is."

Sam frowned, looking at Rafe and you. He could feel a nice atmosphere and any kind of excitement wear off pretty quickly, he really wanted to strangle this fucked up rich boy then and there.

"Smile, Sam. You are scaring the lady," Adler said with a short laugh.

You briefly kissed Rafe's cheek and smiled at him, poking his ribs gently. "Stop it, Adler, or I'll have to break your neck," you said, your time was vicious and smirk vanished as soon as you spot the look on Sam's face.

Slowly getting up from your chair, you touched man's chest. "He's very important. The most important here, Rafe," you told him.

"Well I am sorry, love, but we all know you're not a saint." Rafe hummed, rolling his eyes annoyed.

Sam tensed at your touch and gently pushed your hand off his chest. "I need to smoke, I will go outside. Don't worry, I won't run away." Sam did just as he said and went outside to smoke and calm down.

Rafe watched him leave. "Listen now, you little slut." He growled bending your arm enough to make it hurt. Rafe knew how to do it so no one realized what's going on. "You better work on him, because I need this fucking treasure. Don't forget our deal. Now, go after him." He ordered.

You clenched teeth and hands in fists, you gasped as you felt that his fingers probably have left a bruise to your shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm working on this," you snarled through clenched teeth. "Now, let me finish my work."

You grabbed your purse, and followed Sam outside the hotel.

"Better make it quick." He growled behind you and simply went to order himself a drink.

Meanwhile, Sam was sitting on the kerbstone, smoking as always. He couldn't tell what upset him that much, maybe it was Rafe, maybe he was simply jealous???

"Is it a free spot?," You asked pointing on the place next to him, and before he managed to reply, you had taken the seat. "I'm sorry for Rafe, he's blinded by this treasure you two are going to hunt," you said sadly, placing palm on Sam's shoulder.

Sam smiled, nodding his head. "Believe me, I know this. He was like this even whole fifteen years ago, he was ready to kill whoever got in our way." He summed up before taking a drag of his cig. "He is the reason I got shot and my little brother is traumatized for life."

Sam stayed quiet for a longer moment, collecting his thoughts and everything. "So... You and Rafe. You two are a thing?" He asked unsure if he even wanted to know.

You stroked his back slowly. "I heard about Nathan. Did you let him know you're alive, safe and sound as much as you can be?," You asked, being truly interested in getting an answer.

As soon as man asked about you and Rafe, you chuckled loudly, holding hand on your abdomen. "Me? And Rafe? Never, even though I know he would want this," you replied openly. "Why are you asking? Are you jealous, Mr. Treasure Hunter?"

"No, I did not. This asshole wouldn't let me, I just know that Nathan has a quiet, normal life. Better if this stays this way, he deserved this more than anyone else." Sam sighed rubbing his eyes, sure he missed Nathan. He wanted to contact him, tell him everything but it wasn't a good idea. Now his brother had a life that Sam always wanted to give him but wasn't able to after their mother's death. It was better to stay away. "Yes I am jealous, plus he wasn't really nice when it came to you. I don't care who he is, this is not how you treat your 'friends'. On the other hand... Does he even know how to treat others right?" Sam sighed throwing away the end of his cigarette.

"He does when he has a purpose," you told him briefly, with a slight shrug of your shoulders. "Sometimes he can be charming even."

"Now he has a purpose and he treats both of us like shit." Sam sighed and looked at you. "This is stupid, but I missed ya. I couldn't wait to see you again." He said suddenly with a soft smile.

You couldn't wait any longer. Your hand was reached slowly towards him, you touched his cheek, caressing his rough skin gently, smiling at him. "I missed you too, Samuel."

Sam cupped your hand on his cheek and smiled even more, enjoying your soft touch. "Hey, I know that I am old but there is no need to call me by full name. Sam will be enough." He winked at you and turned his head to kiss your palm.

A shiver ran along your spine, you felt the sensation building within your abdomen. "Sam, is it better this way?," You asked and trailed fingertips along his jaw.

He kissed your finger and smiled. "Oh, much better, baby. So? What will we do now, huh?"

"I have no idea," you told him. "Whatever you want to do," you offered.

"Can I ask for your purse?" Sam asked.

You blinked few times, yet nodded slowly, handling your purse to him.

In first moment you wanted to take it back, being afraid he might find some inappropriate things there, but the feeling quickly vanished.

Sam looked through the content on your little bag. He didn't pull anything until he found your keys. "And there we go. Those, looks like keys to your flat. I bet my life that girl like you has a big bed." Samuel summed up moving closer to whisper into your ear. "Big and soft bed where I can make you scream my name louder than you did back in the prison."

As blush hit your cheeks, you gasped loudly, looking at him, a sparks in your eyes made them glistening like a stars. "Sam!," You chuckled nervously. "You're a little lecher!"

But you slowly got up and offered him your hand. "It's not too far from here, three or for blocks," you informed. "We can have a walk along the shoreline."

"I am just your local, good, old seducer, sweetheart." He got up and offered you his arm. "But you don't need to fear, there is one lady that put a leash on me."

Sam started to walk as soon as you accept his arm. "Besides, you are the most beautiful girl in the whole place. It would be shame to not try get between your legs."

"Samuel Drake!," You raised your tone at him, which made few people on the sidewalk turned around to look at two of you. "Don't be such a perv," you instructed him.

When you were walking, you still had this awful feeling of being observed, so you turned your head to check whether you were followed or not, but you haven't noticed anyone.

Sam only laughed at you reaction and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "I may be a pervert but on the bright side I am your perv." He hummed and kissed side of your head.

Sam walked with you, he noticed your odd behavior. He felt that something bother you. "Y/N? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, it's a little paranoia I guess," you turned the situation into a joke. "When someone as Adler is a friend of yours, you need to be cautious," you added.

Sam tightened his arm around you in protective manner, looking around with a frown. Soon his attention returned to you. "Is this rich asshole hurting you?"

"All the time," you summed up. "He's vicious, he good knows what to do to make a person feeling insecure," you told Sam.

The walk along shoreline was a pleasant moment, you enjoyed it so much, and wished this moment last forever.

Sam kissed the top of his head. He just got one more reason to murder Rafe as soon as he will be able to, or at last watch him die. "You are safe with me." He whispered. Sam meant what he just said. Sure, Adler sent you to prison just to bargain Sam into going with him, but Samuel fall hard for you. He wasn't going to let you go.

As soon as you reached the fancy surrounding, you turned left, heading to a house with a beautifully trimmed lawn. You stopped in didn't if the door and looked for the keys in your purse. As soon as you did, you opened the door, and stepped inside.

Sam followed you inside and looked around, the house was fancy. Maybe a little bit too fancy as for him, he was a simple man but he indeed was impressed.

But there was no time for tour or anything. Sam suddenly picked you up, wrapping your legs around his hips, he gave you a cocky smile. "Hey there, beautiful."

Taken by a surprise, you squeaked and chuckled, wrapping arms around his neck. You dropped the keys to the wooden floor, they fell on it with a loud, metallic noise. "Hey there, handsome," you greeted him while placing a tiny kiss to bridge of his nose.

Sam purred loudly at the soft feeling of your lips. "Oh, sweetheart. You have no idea how much I missed those lips. Just in other place." He joked and his lips moved to your neck where he started to gently kiss and bite your skin.

You moaned for him, slipping your hands into his hair. "Maybe not here," you gasped. You were already shaking from desire, the heat between your legs started to be unbearable. "Put me down," you asked him. Your lips traced the line of his jaw.

"Why not? I could fuck you nicely against the wall like I did before." He growled against your neck but soon he obeyed you and put you down. "Lead the way, sweetheart."

You grabbed him by his rough palm, and lead the way upstairs. You stopped minding the blush that appeared on your face again after Sam's words.

As soon as you entered a long hallway, you let go of his hand and started unzipping your dress, still with the familiar swing in your hips.

Sam followed you slowly looking at the little show. He couldn't describe how much he wanted you, after this one time with you he desired only you. He moved closer and helped you with the zipper a little, his hand gently slipped under your dress. Sam smiled to himself. "I missed the feeling of this soft skin."

You only smirked at his words, cold shivers ran along your spine once again. You were curious, what exactly this particular man had in himself that he was turning your mind upside down.

Soon, you opened the door leading to a huge bedroom. The bed was placed near the entrance to the balcony, a satin quilt on the bed shone in a light of the moon which peeked from behind the clouds.

You made sure the zipper of your dress was fully opened, then you simply let the dress fall down to your ankles. You stepped out of it; you were wearing only lacy, black panties beneath.

Sam watched you with his mouth opened, he never forgot how your body looked, but now in this other circumstances you were even more beautiful. He could imagine all sort of stuff he could do to you and this sweet body of yours. "Oh, little one. You love to tease, huh?" Sam asked removing his jacket and shirt, exposing his chest to you. "It's not nice to tease, I think I will have to teach you some stuff." Samuel walked closer to you and pulled you into a heated kiss.

You wrapped arms around man's neck, pressing boobs to his exposed chest. Your tongues danced together, and you hummed into the kiss. This was all you needed.

When you broke the kiss, you smiled at him, and walked to the bed, where you laid, rubbing thighs together, watching him. "Did I tell you I love your body? Even with those," you pointed the scars the bullets have left on his lower stomach.

"Well, women naturally love some scars. It shows how strong and brave the man is." Sam joked removing his pants slowly.

He walked to you bed slowly. Samuel grabbed your foot and placed a kiss on top of it. Soon he moved up, kissing every inch of the skin until he got comfortable between your legs. "Hmmm, let's see if I remember where it is." He hummed before rubbing your clit through your lacy panties.

"Oh, God," you gasped loudly and rolled head back, resting it on the mattress of your bed. "You're the most teasing person I've ever met."

"Well, I learn from the best." He looked up at you and winked. "How about we take this off, huh?" Biting his lips gently, Sam pulled your pants off.

"Sam," you gasped once again and rubbed thighs together. "You're turning me on so much!," You told him while slipped hands in his hair.

He chuckled, pulling your thighs apart. "Oh, I know this, sweetheart. I try my best."

Sam leant down and kissed your belly, only to move down to your pussy. His thumb started to again rub circles on your clit as his tongue started to softly lick and tease your entrance.

"Fuck," you gasped and placed your legs on his wide shoulders. "That's it, handsome, you hit the perfect spot," you whispered through parted lips, your fingers tangled with his hair.

Sam hummed, looking up on you. He took his time eating you out, there was no time to rush it all. Sam started to rub your clit faster as soon and his tongue slipped inside of you.

"Sam! You're unfair!," You moaned sweetly. "I want to be gagged with your cock," you moaned.

Sam smiled and moved up, he gave you a quick kiss. His hand stayed between your legs. "Oh, I know what you want, sweetheart..." He pushed two of his fingers inside of you while his thumb started to abuse your bundle of nerves.

"I didn't want it!," You chuckled darkly, but enjoyed the touch and pleasure he has offered you. "I want to suck you off, you heard me?"

"Oh, I heard you just right, but tonight I am in charge here." Sam smiled curling his fingers deep inside of you. "You will cum for daddy like a good girl you are, and then we will think about prize for you."

Your thighs twitched, and you arched your back. "That's it, Samuel, just like that..."

You turned into a moaning mess, writhing in the bed at the slightest touch of his.

Sam stopped his movement and looked at you with a soft frown. "Samuel?

"Yes...," You replied and cocked your brow. "Is this a problem, Samuel?," You teased. You good knew he preferred short version of his name.

He chuckled. "You want daddy to do something, you need to address him properly." Sam informed you with a smile.

"Daddy," you emphasized the word while rolling your hips a little. "Is it better?"

"Now this is more like it, sweetheart." Sam smiled and resumed the movement of his fingers. His lips wrapped around your nipple, sucking and biting it gently.

"Fuck," you moaned quietly as you felt how you pussy started clenching around his fingers. Soon, they were flooded with your juices, and your peak has left you as a mess.

Sam watched your peak with a satisfied smile, he removed his fingers and licked them with a loud, happy sound. "Delicious, I never thought a girl can be that tasty."

Sam sat on the edge of the bed and removed his pants and boxers, tossing them somewhere on the floor. "Just look what are you doing to me, sweetheart." He hummed, wrapping his hand around his already hard cock.

You knelt on the bed, and crawled to Sam. Your hand placed on his chest, and slowly moved down, to reach his abdomen where your scratched him lately. "All I can see is that my Sam is pretty hard for me, and I want to tell you a secret," you said while climbing his lap. You leant forward to whisper into his ear. "Your girl is dripping wet, and her pussy is so ready for this cock."

Sam smiled and rubbed your hips, but suddenly a hard slap landed on your bun. He only looked at you before giving you one more slap, he made sure to massage the place after. "That's nice and all but as I remember I told you something. Want something from your daddy, address him properly." Sam reminded you.

You leant forward to whisper into his ear once again. "Your girl is dripping wet for you, daddy," you told him, rolling hips in his hands.

"Oh, so you don't want to choke on daddy's cock anymore? Come here than, love." Sam said and raised you only to lower you on his cock.

"Fuck. I missed this." Sam growled at the nice and familiar feeling of your walls squeezing his cock. He started to move slowly at first, holding your waist tightly.

"Yes, that's it, that's it!," You moaned and used all of your strength to push him back, so he laid on the mattress. Then, you made yourself comfortable, increased your pace, and soon you were riding him strongly and viciously, chasing the pleasure.

Sam let out a soft moan and grabbed your hips, he trusted his to met your movement. "Someone likes to go fast, huh? You know we don't need to rush things up this time?"

His hand traveled from your hip to your clit to tease the bundle of nerves, looking up at you.

"I... Know," you gasped and rolled hips harder for him. "But I want to ride this cock as hard as no one before did."

"I can see that, sweetheart, and I need to say I love it." He purred.

After this Sam sat back up, wrapping one arm around your waist to hold you in place. He started to fuck you hard, getting deeper and deeper with every thrust while rubbing your clit firmly. "Now, be a good girl and cum around daddy's cock."

"I don't want to cum yet, daddy!," You moaned as you scratched his back with your nails.

Sam grabbed your chin making you look directly at him, he didn't stop moving his hips. "Oh, yes? Than what do you want, sweetheart?"

"I want to suck you off, daddy, please, I was a good girl, I deserved a price."

"Well, I don't know. I gave you chance and you immediately jumped on my cock." Sam said teasing you by giving you one deep and hard thrust. "You really think you deserved a prize?"

"Yes, daddy! I did!," You begged

Sam laughed shortly and pulled you off his cock. "Okay, but just because you are so good to your daddy, sweetheart. On your knees and get to work, make your daddy proud." Drake said smiling at you.

You knelt in front of him quickly, your palm wrapped around his shaft, you slowly pumped your hand, moving it up and down, your eyes never left his. In the end, you spat on his tip, spreading your saliva with fingers along his dick.

Sam groaned and throw his head back, enjoying your touch, his hand slipped into your hair to grab them gently. "C'mon, don't torture your daddy, sweetheart. I gave you the prize, show how thankful and happy you are for it."

You wrapped your lips around his shaft, starting to bob your head slowly at first, you increased the pace with time, humming around his shaft, just to provide him more sensation. Soon, you pulled his cock out, spat on it again, and licked the main vein on the lower side. He tasted amazingly good.

Sam moaned and looked down on you, panting heavily. He was getting closer and closer to his climax, all thanks to your wonderful touch. "Fuck, this feels so fucking good."

You slipped his cock deep down your throat, gagging with it. You closed eyes shut, a single tear streamed down your cheek, and you started bobbing your head again, as hard as it was possible, until he came.

"Let's see how you like that." Sam growled as he grabbed back of your neck, forcing you to deepthroat him, just then he cum deep down your throat. "Fuck..." He gasped letting go of your nape.

You closed eyes shut, yet swallowed entire load he offered you. His sperm tasted bitterly, like a black coffee, so in a first reflex you gagged, yet in the end you enjoyed the taste

He cupped your cheek. "Such a good girl, you swallowed everything. What should I do with you now, huh?" Sam purred, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

"Whatever you want, Sam," you purred and moved up, licking a trail from his cock to his neck.

"Wrong again, sweetheart but I'll let it slide this time." Sam picked you up a little and laid you on the bed before diving between your legs, eating you out like a starving man until you came.

"Fuck, fuck," you were moaning for him, your legs placed on his shoulders, you body shaking from the pleasure he was offering you. It was until your pussy started clenching rhythmically, you rolled head back and screamed his name as you came all over his face.

Sam pulled away, licking his lips. "Well, that was something delicious. Fucking tell me you have cigarettes here, beautiful." He said with a soft laugh.

"In a drawer," you gasped and showed the direction with your head. "Oh, fuck, what have you done to me."

Sam quickly got to your drawer and took the box of cigarettes, pretending he didn't notice your toys there. He lit one cig and smiled at you. "Well, I just show you how a real man fucks lady nicely, I thought it was clear." He shrugged pulling you closer. "Besides, those stuff in the drawer? We need to use them one day, my naughty girl."

"If you'll be a good boy then maybe I'll think of this," you told him while you were still playing with your pussy. It was still so sensitive after the sex, and you enjoyed it so much. "Now. Better gather your sexy ass, and find the treasure for Rafe. Or he will kill us both."

Sam hummed, nodding while taking a drag of his cigarette. He puffed out a smoke and looked at you. "You see, I would but there is one thing that is stopping me, ya know?”

You gasped after the kiss. This man was a death of yours. He was spinning your head round, like a wheel.

You gave him a look and smirked. "I hope for more adventures with you."

[helliontherapscallion]

omg pls share the story abt the lecture from that girl’s dad (only if u feel like it) but seriously ppl it’s not that hard to put a mask on to help the spread of a virus. just wear it, it keeps u safe. and for the ppl who don’t care then just wait til it affects u, bcs covid isn’t a game. I just wish ppl were more serious abt it

Ok so sit down and buckle up kiddos and grab some snacks bc this is a helluva ride

Little background info: I have been a section leader for both my junior and senior years now. When the new freshmen came in my first year of being section leader I was hyped as hell. And then this new freshman whips out a lighter and lights it WHILE WE’RE INSIDE THE SCHOOL MIGHT I ADD with a straight face looking off into the distance before we ask her to put it away. She also always has a pocket knife on her that we found on the ground during band camp. I’ll call her POS. 

I tried to like POS I really did, but then she turned out to be a bigoted racist asshole (she also drinks deer blood straight from the corpse and simps over jeffery dahmer so even more red flags). It was extremely hard for me to treat her like I did with the other people in my section, but I managed to treat her the same as the other people and avoided her for the most part (thank god she wasn’t in my subsection I would’ve actually gone insane)

Flash forward to this year. Covid was hitting full force and we had to quarantine for the first two months of our season setting us back by a lot. She was wishywashy about rejoining but as the most senior leader of my section my band director was on my ass about getting a straight answer from her and fast. So I kinda had to force her to give me an answer (which she told me she was doing it quickly which leads me to think she already knew she was doing it) so she already was going into the season hating my guts

When we finally had an in person rehearsal for the first time, she wasn’t wearing a mask so when I asked her where it was she looked at me like I was the dumbass and said in a matter-of-fact tone “it’s in my pocket” and pointed to the confederate flag bandana hanging out of her pocket. Those four words told me that this season was going to be a fuckin long one with her. I just deadpanned (she couldn’t see it tho bc mask, sunglasses, and floppy hat blocking my entire face) and said “I’d rather it be on your face. (band director and marching instructor’s names) will have my ass if they see you not wearing one.” She rolls her eyes and puts it on (at least it was over her nose)

A few months go by with me telling her constantly to put on a mask bc I am responsible for my section and I’d be damned if one of them got sick bc of one idiot being stupid that I could prevent. She is getting madder and madder with each passing rehearsal. 

Band camp rolls around and it changed from 5 13 hour days to 15 3 hour ones and I am already done with her bs. We get our dots and I mentally groan bc she’s next to me for the vast majority of the show. She is between me (an asthmatic) and my close friend (vvv immunocompromised and also hates her, I’ll call her S) so now I’m more worried about covid going around the section. It was in this time that I find out that at least 5 other people out of 20 also have pre existing conditions that make them susceptible. So now I make it even more my mission to make her wear a mask. 

It was in the middle of band camp when she is yet again not wearing a mask (we were just marching without instruments) and I turn to her and as kindly as possible (it was the second time that day) asked her to put on her mask. She once again rolls her eyes and says “ya know, (band director) walked past me 3 times and hasn’t said shit, so I think I’m gonna listen to him and not you.” S and another friend of mine looks over in shock cuz she just talked back to me. They were about to say something but I wove them off. POS wants to fuck with me? Fine. I’ll just go full force with this. She wants petty?? I’ll give her petty, I’ve been holding off all season. 

So I’m marching there for the next twenty minutes quietly seething and counting more aggressively. She’s getting annoyed, but I pull the section leader card and tell her that she needs to be counting as loud as I am bc her feet was lowkey off time. After we break off for a gush and go (very short water break), I go straight to my band director and use my limited water break to tell him what she told me. He apologizes and says that he thought she was just taking a breather. He tells her to put on a mask and she does so and glares at me the rest of the rehearsal. 

She blocks me on all social media and I obviously clown on her in private with the other section leader (he’s more of a pacifist and never really told her to wear a mask which kinda pissed me off but I understood) until she makes a passing comment to my other friend about using the knife she kept in her boot. Now he tells me cuz he’s a good friend and I’m shitting myself at that point bc holy shit I might get shanked. 

I think about telling the band director but I realize that there’s no proof of her saying this and she could easily get out of this so it’s kinda pointless to tell anyone. Plus if she did shank me, she’d get into so much trouble and I’d be laughing at her from my grave/hospital bed. 

Many rehearsals go by and she still refuses to wear a mask so after one rehearsal S and I went to the band director and reminded him about our conditions and told him about how we were worried for our safety (I also told him abotu the other vulunerable ppl in the section) and he says he’s gonna do something. Next rehearsal he gives POS a warning and she begrudgingly wears a mask for the rest of the rehearsal. The next rehearsal rolls by and she isn’t wearing a mask (again) and he sends her home. Major victory for S and I.

The next sectional tho was something I wasn’t expecting. I get there like 10 minutes before it starts like I usually do in a good mood. I get out of my car and go to grab my stuff when a massive white truck with a busted muffler pulls up into the parking space next to me with a cloud of black smoke. The window rolls down and reveals POS’s dad and POS herself in the passanger seat. 

Of course I’m thinking that this is the day I die and start mentally preparing to yell for help to my other section members 100 feet away on the field already.

Mans starts to lecture me saying things like “it’s unhealthy to wear a mask outside bc it’s like a pitri dish under there. 6th grade science!” (I am not joking or overexaggerating with this, he actually said that). I really wanted to say “well, 7th grade science says otherwise, but you wouldn’t know that bc I’m sure you didn’t pass 6th grade, but go off ig” but I didn’t bc I didn’t want to get shanked or disappear randomly. I just tell him that I am only doing what my band director told me to do and that there are tons of people (myself included) that can really get hurt from just being in contact with covid. He says that’s bullshit and tries to tell me that I’m an idiot before I cut him off by telling him once again that I am just trying to protect my section and that the sectional was going to start soon so I didn’t have the time for this. I walk away leaving him trying to keep talking to me and soon enough POS gets out of the car and follows me to the field giving me a smug smile on her unmasked face before she puts it on when she sees the other section leader stroll up. 

Lemme paint the picture for you: this guy (a 6′something burly guy in his 50′s that I know has like two felonies under his belt) pulls up next to me (a 5′2 17 year old ball of anxiety that drives a small yellow car) and starts to borderline yell at me. Traumatizing. I was shaking for the rest of the sectional and I spent the rest of the season looking over my shoulder looking for the glint of a knife swingin at me

Now I’m pretty sure she’s suspended bc she was caught with a knife on school property and she wore a confederate t-shirt to school, but I would be lying if I said I don’t still look over my shoulder or speed up when I drive past her house lmao

[tragedy-for-sale]

Storm in the Room

I got a request for having Ahsoka with the 501st, but that'd be a three even four parter, so I'm writing about after. She was there before Anakin in terms of boarding the ship. Okay this isn't angsty at all so uh- whatever.

◈ ━━━━━━ ◆ ━━━━━━ ◈

Ahsoka hadn't been able to believe it. She blamed herself for not being on the surface to sense Krell's actions. Even now, she stood all alone on the bridge, and yet, she could sense all her brothers' agony. She'd wanted to help, but Cody said they all needed space from the Jedi. So she'd been hanging out with Obi-Wan, who right now, was holding her close in a hug as they watched the stars fly by. "Are they going to be okay?"

Obi-Wan's stare lingered at the stars for a moment before he glanced down to Ahsoka, "Yes, they're soldiers." He answered, "They will never heal, but they will be okay." Ahsoka looked down, hugging Obi-Wan tighter as she thought of how much she resented all of this. If she had just been there things would have been different.

"I think I'm going to go check on the boys in the med-bay, maybe let Kix get some sleep." She said, breaking from Obi-Wan's hug. "Will you get some sleep? I'll stay up until Anakin gets here." She offered. Obi-Wan smiled as he nodded.

"Very well," he spoke, watching her head down the bridge, "You should sleep soon too." He called, but Ahsoka was already out of the bridge.

In fact, she was hurrying down the hall to the lift. She halted as he sensed someone crying, her head jolted towards the door. "Supply closer" she noted as she went to take a step but found herself frozen. "Right, can't help them." She recalled before continuing on, hating herself even more that she wasn't there.

When she reached the medbay, she could hear distant yelling. Kix. "Get your karking ass back in that bed right now Vaughn or so help me!" Kix hissed, pointing a finger, scolding Vaughn for getting out of bed. For the fifth time tonight. Ahsoka walked down into the lobby and saw Kix fall back in his chair, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Heya Kix," Ahsoka smiled. Kix swiveled his chair to see his sister. Instantly his face lit up with joy.

"Hey 'lil soka!" He greeted, standing up, "How ya doing kid?" He asked as he pulled her into a quick hug. Ahsoka laughed a little bit with how fast he changed moods, but she figured he was just using his doctor voice when he yelled at Vaughn. He looked very tired and very stressed.

"I'm good, I came down here to see if you could use some help?" She offered, looking around the medbay, it was full. Kix smiled, as he thought of all he had to do, and all he wanted to do.

"Oh, absolutely, kiddo, could use your company," Kix smiled as he turned, and it was as if he'd sensed it, "Vaughn ya ain't slick," he called to his injured brother who had been caught. Again. He grabbed a few charts off the desk, "Well, the ICU boys just have to stabilize 'em before moving them to bacta, I might have to put Vaughn as a flight- back in bed now!" He ordered, not even having to turn.

Ahsoka cracked a smile as she shrugged to Vaughn, who slowly headed back into his room. She then looked to Kix, who was mumbling as he thought. "Kix?" She spoke, watching his eyes slowly look up.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he shook his head, "I, I just don't know who to assign you to." He mumbled, flipping through the charts. "Vaughn maybe?" His voice fell to a whisper, "He doesn't seem scared of you-" Ahsoka's smile fell. Scared? The men were scared of her?

"What does that mean?" She asked, she watched Kix's face go blank. He obviously hadn't meant for her to hear him, "What do you mean some men are scared of me?" She rephrased. Kix's smile twitched as he realized she'd heard him.

"I-" he stopped, there was no getting out of this one, "Ahsoka," he sat down, leaning in so no one would hear, "A lot happened down there, and the boys are, well, traumatized, they know you're not gonna hurt them, but after what happened, we're all a little spooked." He explained, trying and making it seem not as terrible as it was, "They just need time." He added.

Ahsoka nodded, head hung low as she instantly felt out of place. "I don't wanna be down here if it's gonna make them uncomfortable." She said at last. Kix raised an eyebrow before turning around, staring Vaughn down, who'd caught on and slid back into his room, but not before stealing a granola bar. Kix rolled his eyes before turning back around.

"Oh! Sorry 'soka, and if you wanna go, I'll understand. But I'd still like your company." Kix said at last . Ahsoka nodded. Still feeling quite awkward. But she wanted to help. "Great." Kix smiled as he rolled over and grabbed a data pad, "Here you are," he spoke, "Just watch Vaughn, then Ringo is in the next room over, keep 'em company till Jesse gets down here please?"

"Wil do." Ahsoka smiled as she walked around the room and towards Vaughn. "Looks like you got a Jedi guarding you tonight, Vaughn." She smiled as she skipped in. Vaughn let out a soft chuckle, he wasn't even in bed, he was standing behind the wall as he watched Kix.

He took a bite of his granola bar looking to Ahsoka, "Wanna bite?" He asked, Ahsoka shook her head. Vaughn shrugged before eating the rest and then crouching slightly as he stared at the desk. "All I want is that hot cocoa on his desk." He mumbled, eyeballing, "It's the perfect blend of chocolate, milk, and whiskey, it's the best drink Appo makes, which is really saying something." Vaughn explained. Not that he needed to, Appo made awesome drinks. "Okay, imma go try to get it."

"Don't even try it!"

Vaughn pouted as he gave up, slumping back to his bed. For now. If Hawk managed to steal Kix's caf, he could too. "Huh." Ahsoka smiled as she held out her hand out and grabbed the mug through the force. Vaughn's face lit up as he watched the mug float through the air and eventually into Ahsoka's hands. "Got it!" She exclaimed softly. Vaughn reached out to grab it but Ahsoka stopped him, "Can I taste it first?" She asked.

Vaughn's head shot back as he thought. It had alcohol in it. "Uh, how old are you again?" He asked, staring blankly at her. Ahsoka's head turned to the side slightly.

"I'm fifteen, almost sixteen." She stated. Ahsoka watched Vaughn, who was apparently very deep in thought. He was just doing the math in his head.

"Fifteen," Vaughn mumbled, "double that, that's sixteen, plus four, ten," he mumbled under his breath before sitting up straight, "Thirty-" he blurted louder. He then looked to Ahsoka, narrowing his eyes as he tried to figure out why she looked so young, maybe she aged differently. So Vaughn shrugged,

"Go ahead."

◈ ━━━━━━ ◆ ━━━━━━ ◈

|| Tag List ||

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[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[junosartsthetic]

Mista Headcanons

Did somebody say appx. nine pages of Mista Headcanons written at appx. 1 am? No? Well too bad, because that’s what I have to offer. These have not been read over so good luck deciphering some of them.

He do be hairy doe 

U know he’s got out of control curly hair that he doesn’t know what to do with

And I ain’t just talkin abt his head hair

Dis mans

Doesn’t understand how hygiene works

I lov him

But he smell

And the fact that he’s got a lot of hair doesn’t help that

But have no fear!

Just,,,, give him bath or shower. 

He will be fresH and make sure to shampoo and condition haiR!

Also get him some curl cream and blow dry that shit.

It’ll be stunNing!

And it’ll smell like vanilla or some shittttttt and it’ll be niceeeee

N u can run your hands through it and play with the curls n u know if u scratch behind his ear his gets all happy like a doggo

He’s a good boi!

He just needs someone to show him some love! And teach him how to properly take care of himself!

Also teach him how to properly shave because u know ya boi doesn’t know how to do that properly 

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

But it’s okey!

He learns!

Eventually….

After a lot of trial and error…

also u know with all that hair and sweat he’s got some acne

The poor boy doesn’t know what to do but you go out and buy him some skin care products and make sure he knows how to properly apply it!

Monthly spa time!

Give him a mani pedi and a nice deep condition and a face mask and put some cucumbers on his eyes!!!

He deserves it!!!

Also take away some of that greasy food he likes to eat

It’s not good for him

🥺 sorry mista but it’s for your health

But u can make up for it by giving him some smooches!

Tell him he’s a pretty boi!

Because he is!!!

He’s just a poor 18 year old that never learned how to take care of himself!

but u kiss his lil acne scars n u tell him he’s handsome n u play with his hair n give him the love he deserves!!!!

H-he babey. That all. 

N when u two finally ya know,,, get it on u make sure to let him know that u don’t care if he hairy everywhere!

U lov him!

It DONT matter!!!

U think he is stunning!

N of course let him know all the little scars he’s got from bein in the mafia DONT matter either!!!!

U kiss them!!!

And make them all okay!!!

Because it is okay!

Also idk if I mentioned this but u get him that nice old spice deodorant and it smells so good!!!

And it works so well!!!

So he’s no longer stinky!!!!

He’s fresh looking and smelling!!!

🥺🥺🥺

Also u help him pick out some clothes that let his skin and hair breathe so he doesn’t break out often and his hair stays nice n he’s hesitant because he’s worn the same clothes for sooo long but u convince him it’s for the best

N when he does he’s so happy!

He loves them!

What do they look like?

Idfk 

Gimme a sec

U get him a blue jean jacket that’s a button up in case he wants to have long sleeves

U find him a breathable shirt with the same pattern as his crop top sweater

U get him some shorts that make him look fashionable but also he can run n stuff in them

U get him some cool sneakers

U buy him a hat that’s loose and he can put his hair down or through the back of it in a lil pony tail n it’s nice

He looks so much better!!!

N u even bought him a holster!!!

It’s good.

n his stands like to chill in the pocket of the jean jacket or the shirt pocket n they’re happy too!

also in ur boobs but that’s not the point of this fic

anyway, he’s good!

And now that he’s all clean you cuddle with him more often n he loves it!

he likes to rest his head on your chest and close his eyes

U pet his hair

His stands also like to vibe inside whatever shirt or top you’re wearing n u honestly don’t mind

They just chill n rest their arms on the collar and wave at mista

Also they catch any food crumbs you drop so it’s amazing

it’s a win-win

But also awkward for Mista because he can feel anything his stands feel so the entire time he’s got a red face

Also the days you don’t wanna shave or even if u quit shaving all together, mista doesn’t give a fuck!

he’s like,,, have you seen me? Grow that leg hair out, grow out any other hair you want.

N ur like,,,, u sure?

N he’s like you put up with my hair so damn right imma love yours

So then you just vibe tbh

He makes you so confident in yourself because you did the same to him

Power couple!!!

Y’all both realize your strengths and appreciate the other for what they’ve done

It’s a good wholesome relationship 🥺🥺🥺

Oh he’s also probably self conscious about his eyebrows cause they r bushy n when he furrows them it looks like he has a unibrow 

N ur like, I can teach u to pluck ur eyebrows but also I love your bushy eyebrows?

Dem caterpillars on your face?

Stunning

You kiss his forehead right between his eyebrows n tell him you love every bit of him

He just 🥺🥺🥺

anything he ever mentions

Nose?

U smooch it.

It’s amazing.

His tummy?

Best pillow ever.

You give him a smooch on his tummy.

Literally anything— you make sure he knows that you love it because it’s a part of him and you love him!!!!

He’s also admitted that he wears his hat to hide his ears 

He’s got big ol’ ears and he’s self conscious about them

you give him a smooch on each ear

“What? Babe, you’re the only person I’ve been with that actually listens to me! Those ears are a plus!”

Soft boi need lov 

He was probably bullied when he was younger for how he looked and acted and so put up walls to ignore it

He likes to pretend nothing can get to him but he’s honestly really soft

He needs someone to confide in because he’s full of so many self doubts but he’s so good and doesn’t deserve to be!!!

he also likes being the little spoon sometimes

It’s nice to be held

He’s not used to affection and craves it

Give him all the snuggles

He deserves it more than life!!!!

He acts carefree and likes to live life peacefully but he probably has some sort of undiagnosed disorder like anxiety or ADHD that makes him hyper aware of bad things that could happen

When he was younger, he was less worrisome and such, but ever since joining the mafia he’s gotten more anxious

Who wouldn’t?

It’s the mafia!

He’s shown not to overthink things but I think he’s just telling himself that

A million scenarios are probably flying through his head

He’s a quick thinker!

That’s why people think he’s not too bright, because he chooses the direct route and chooses it fast

I think he’s aware of what he’s doing down to a T however.

He learns to drop his facade and actively talks with people without feeling anxious about it

he can now read and listen to music without horrible scenarios running through his head

Now, when he looks calm, he actually is

He obviously had a rather traumatic childhood whether he wants to admit it or not

When he says he wants a peaceful life he really just wants a break from his thoughts telling him that he’ll never get what he wants and that he’s not worth it

When he did things when he was younger and sort of just went wherever he wanted he thought that would help him get rid of these feelings

It didn’t

U help him to see that any life can be good if you make it so

He cracks jokes and makes others laugh and he likes to feel like he belongs

He sometimes regrets impulsively speaking all the time however, as he fears people find him annoying

He also gets really upset and angry easily

He learns to relax more though

You help him with this, of course, with all of your compliments and such

Also, this has been mentioned before, but cuddles!

Y’all love them

So nice

On the couch? Cuddles

On the bed? Cuddles

You love to be able to access his hair to mess with it and he loves to lay against your chest because free pillows

Usually he’s halfway on top of you, head against your chest as he tells u about his day

You’ll pet his head and play with his hair as he does so

He’ll have his arms around your waist and cling to you like a koala

When you want your hair messed with or just get suffocated from fluffy boi laying on you y’all will switch places

You’ll put a pillow on his chest tho

His stands will also mess with your hair

And probably walk on your back to attempt a back massage

But they’re too light so it doesn’t do much

You appreciate it anyway

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

Perfectly Confused Angel- Part 13

A/N: Hello friends! Here’s another new update! Temporary living will give you plenty of time to come up with new ideas! But I start working again next Monday so updates will most likely come on the weekends.

(Season 15 spoilers! Only in the description!) I imagine this battle against Chuck happening in place of the fight Sam, Dean, and Castiel had with the second ending of the world at the start of season 15.

As always, masterlist can be found here, prompt list is here, ask me anything! Feedback is always welcome! Tag list requests are open!

Previous Chapter 

Warnings: Fluff, battle preparation, sassiness, slight anger, tooth-rotting fluff, especially at the end

Word Count: 1,900

 Once Cas and I told Sam and Dean of our news, we all devised a plan to make Chuck pay for what he did to me. It wasn’t going to be easy and we knew he was going to try to break up the wedding, but in no way were we going to let him, or anyone else, stop us. Chuck has already caused enough chaos in our lives; he’s not going to cause anymore on the most important day of our lives. We knew the three boys were not going to be enough to take down someone like Chuck, so we enlisted a group of the best hunters we could think of. Planning a wedding while trying to take out a powerful creature like Chuck? Yeah, that’s normal.

I walkout of my shared room with Cas and head to the map table, where I see Sam, Dean, and Cas all on the phone and writing names down on a notebook. I smile at the boys, my boys, as they work hard to defend me from God, and try to busy myself. If I stood around for too long, just watching them and not being able to help or not know what was going on, I would get too worried and I can’t let myself get that bad. Walking into the kitchen, I take out supplies from the fridge and begin working on breakfast. If I can’t help with the battle or even recruiting people, at least I can keep everyone fed.

“Good morning, my fiancé,” I hear a voice say in my ear and feel hands on my hips, instantly causing me to melt to the touch.

“Well good morning to you too, my fiancé,” I reply to the angel and turn around to kiss him.

“I like calling you that. Makes it sound like you’re really mine,” He says with a small grin on his face.

“Wait until you get to call me your wife,” I say in a flirty tone.

“Trust me y/n, I already am,” He admits, cheeks turning red. “So, what are you making?”

“Well I figured I have to keep my boys fed since they’re working so hard to protect me, so I just grabbed food and thought I’d just make things I think would be good together. A little bit of everything for everyone.” I say as I delicately place five more strips of bacon into the pan.

“Let me guess, bacon for Dean?” Cas says, now standing back to really watch me.

“And me too! He’s not the only one who likes it, ya know.” I say, nibbling on an already cooked piece before Cas takes it out of my hand and eats the rest.

“Hey!” I whine but a quick kiss makes up for the food thief. Soon enough and with Castiel’s help, there is a wide variety of food laid out for everyone to enjoy.

“Sam! Dean! Food’s up!” I yell as I set up the kitchen counters with plates, forks and napkins.

“Holy shit, y/n, this looks amazing!” Dean says, walking in first and grabbing his plate, heading straight for the bacon.

“Hey, Dean, save some of that bacon for others.” I comment, seeing him almost fill his plate up with just bacon.

“What others?” He comments, with a slice hanging from his mouth.

I walk over to him and rip the bacon from his mouth and say, “me” before taking a bite of the half-eaten strip.

Castiel and Sam just laughed at the surprised look on Dean’s face.

“Pretty ballsy of you to do, kid. But I’ll give you credit for it.” Dean says, adding other food to his plate.

“I’ve been living with you barbarians for a long time; I know what I have to do to survive.”

We all gather around the map table to eat our food, chattering about the process of getting people involved.

“So, y/n, we figured you wouldn’t want to be left alone during a time like this, so we asked a few of the hunters to stay behind and keep you company.” Sam said, flipping through the notebook.

“Wait, really?” I ask, hoping it was a cruel joke. “Seriously? You guys do know this isn’t the first time I’ve been left alone while you go hunting.” I say, looking at Cas.

“Yes, that is true, but considering what happened to you the last time we left alone, we all agreed it would best if someone would stay with you.”

“Who’s staying behind?” I ask, my tone coming off stronger than I meant it to, but I was pretty upset.

“Donna and Jody. They volunteered to stay behind, plus you have a wedding to plan.” Dean said.

“Oh great, so while my fiancé and my best friends, as well as a bunch of other hunters, are fighting to take down the toughest being in all of existence, I get to sit at home and plan a wedding?” I say, more infuriated than I was before.

“Look, honeybee, I know this isn’t easy for you, but your best option is to stay here and be safe. Plus, you did say you wanted a somewhat large wedding, right?” Cas said, running his hands up and down my arms, in an attempt to settle me down.

“Yeah, I guess so.” I say, caving into the beautiful blue eyes that shone brightly when he looked at me.

“Great, I fully trust you to make our wedding absolutely beautiful.” Cas says, holding me close and from behind.

“You do know you have to help somewhat, right? I need your opinion on the flavor of cake, the front on the invitations, the flowers!” I say, turning my head to look back at the angel.

“Yes, I do know. I’ve been doing research on how involved the groom tends to me for the wedding when you agreed to marry me. Which is why I’m staying behind as well.”

“No. Cas, I can’t let you stay behind while the biggest fight of all time is going to take place. You need to be there, to stand up to your father! You can’t stay here!” I argue.

“I can do whatever I feel like is important, and while this fight is important, me being here with you is my number one priority. That way, we can plan things for the wedding, together.” He countered and knowing Castiel, I knew he wasn’t going to lose this argument. Fighting with an angel is impossible to win because they usually always find a way to change your mind. Some weird mind control thing or something.

“Alright fine, but you’re helping me make every decision except for the dresses.” I say, making Cas a deal.

“You got yourself a deal. I want to be involved in this wedding as much as you want me to be. My kind take weddings and marriage very seriously.”

“Really? Didn’t think angels got married.”

“Typically, we don’t, but what is written about marriage and how we’re to help those in crisis, it’s rather important.”

“Well, I guess I can consider myself lucky to have the first angel husband.”

“Oh no y/n, we’re going to have the first-ever angel-human wedding.”

“Great, so no pressure?” I say and sigh, leaning on Cas.

“Not at all. This is a special day and I know how long you’ve been waiting for your wedding day.”

“What? How do you know that?”

Cas hesitated to tell me at first but then, told me everything.

“I used to watch over you as a child.”

“You what?! You watched over me as a child? How? How do you know I’m the same person?”

“When you were little, you were prayed over, and I was sent to watch over you. I wasn’t allowed to get too close, for we can traumatize a child, but I was sent to watch over you. I visited you quite often actually. In fact, we talked a lot. I would have tea parties with you, I was there when you took your first steps, the first time you went to school. But once you reached a certain age, you decided I wasn’t allowed to see you anymore. So, I left and never came back. And I know it’s you because you are the only Y/F/N Y/L/N in this area of the world.”

I took a minute to absorb what was just told to me and I remembered.

“Wait, I remember now. You were my imaginary friend. No one else was able to see you but I and I never knew why but you were always there for me. You did see everything and were apart of everything. Although, I don’t remember deciding I was too old for an imaginary friend. Actually, I remember going to look for you on several occasions. I would call out for you but you never came back to see me, so I assumed you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore. Oh my gosh, Castiel. You’re Castiel from my childhood. I, I can’t believe it’s really you.” I say, reaching my hand up to stroke his cheek.

“Wait, you’ve known her her whole life? And you’re just now telling her all this?” Dean questioned the angel.

“Yes. I didn’t say anything when I first met you, y/n, because I wasn’t sure how you were going to react to seeing me after all these years. I didn’t want to interrupt the life you already made for yourself, but once I came back and I-I fell in love with you and we were going to be married, I knew it was time. My father told me so many times not to tell you who I was, angels never fully reveal themselves to humans, but this calls for the entire truth. You and me, we are to be one, and I need you to know everything. I am so sorry I left you. I didn’t know it was going to hurt you so much. I wanted to go back and see you and I heard every single prayer you made to me, but I wasn’t allowed to go back. Once a child reaches a certain age, we are to move on.”

I wanted to be mad, to be angry over this whole situation, because I went fifteen years without seeing him, but I couldn’t be upset.

“I can’t believe it,” I say, looking up to Castiel. “I can’t believe I’m going to marry the first man I ever loved.” And with that, our kiss was just as blissful as they were at the beginning. My heart raced as I kissed him, with the realization that he was the one who always looked after me. Now we get to be married and to be with each other forever.

 Second a/n: I know there is no proof that angels can control humans’ minds but I wanted to try something different with this chapter.

And how about that plot twist at the end here?? I am open to discussions on this!  

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