#plus daddy I love him erina

[separatist-apologist]

Every fic I write is a lonely-apology collab

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 79

Erina? Yeah ... what came? What fresh hell ... a paternity test? Apparently Matt is Sam's father ... oh boy ... Matt trying to stress that he's YOUNGER than Sam ... XD ... Sam: "Papa ... did I make you proud?" Wow ...

They cut Ashley off before she could finish her plug and it made her choke on her own spit.

"Beauregard's Interrogation Brew" ... XD

Ah yes ... the team building exercises ... how's THIS gonna go?

To long rest or not long rest ... that is the question ...

Chetney wondering if Nana Morrie grants wishes ... no, more like DEALS ... oh yes, the classic Faustian Pact ...

The bush people in the tree garden? Oh boy ... FCG: "So you're trimming people?" Eeeeeeeeeh ... O.O

Oh yeah ... Peepers ... that thing ... "weird xenomorph rabbit" is pretty accurate in my mind ...

So ... Chetney wants to be YOUNG again ... just to be "hot as shit", apparently ... cultivated and curated chest hair and a serious moustache ... yeah ...

I love how they're ragging on Liam being away by making funny jobs at Orym spending all yesterday working out ...

Fearne's complicated upbringing ... hmmm ... wait ... is that a PHONE? Matt immediately makes Travis take psychic damage got his character as punishment ... LOL

Nana wants to "plot" with FCG ... and being very creepy about it ... yeah ...

Oh, new rooms? Made to measure but in a creepy way ... Travis: "Like AI generated bedrooms?" Oh yes ... Matt takes thr idea and runs with it to disturbing effect ...

Door? Fearne has a sentient talking door for her room ... of course she does ...

Catching up with Birdie ... oh, and now she's fishing for "The Truth" ... hmmmmmm ... where's THIS going?

29 on an Insight check? Whoa ... wait, FEARNE is thr group's lie detector? I mean it makes sense, but ...

Mr Nesbitt!!! Yay! Nice to see a familiar face ... I love that freaky thing so much ...

Ah, the garden ... yeah ... creepy weirdness abounds as usual ... no doubt this will be put to use for the games ...

Here we go ... truth time ... aha! Backstory! Okay ...

Hold on, was that dude Fearne's daddy?

Fuck ... he was ... oh boy ... and it was a union of "great import" ... yup, so Ollie wasn't her father, but he WAS her daddy ... yup ... who? Athion Zathuda ... the Sorrowlord of the Unseelie Court? Man ... that freaky Arch Fey guy is Fearne's baby daddy! Holy shit!

Yeah ... that is A LOT ... I mean A LOT ...

Well yes, this was probably the best way Fearne could have grown up under the circumstances ... is she actually one of the most well adjusted of the group after all? Weird thought, but I like it ...

Awwww ... reconciliation of sorts, that's sweet and we'll take what we can get ...

Oh, Ashton and Orym having a private heart-to-heart? This should be interesting. Even if Ashton does think Orym's just taking him off to quietly kill him ... XD

Ah ... meta humour ...

Wow, so ... Orym's really going EASY on him here, clearly ... Orym: "Don't let perfect be the enemy of good." WOW ... that is AWESOME advice ...

We really don't get enough of THIS friendship ... I really like this dynamic a lot ...

Is Allura about to get a bit loose jn a drink-based way? Is that where this is going?

I agree with Chetney, that was indeed a "dope flex" ...

Whoa ... are we gonna get some Allura backstory? Awwwww ... her "little lion" ... love the little nod to Kima ... :3

Imogen takes off the Circlet? Wow ...

Of course Chetney's thinking about sex. What did we expect?

Fearne has an announcement? Okay ...

Nana has DONE SOMETHING with FCG's memories in order to plot this thing out? Oh boy ... this is a worrying implication for what's to come ...

And that was SCARY, Nana ... plus the talking together, what the bright blue FUCK was that? O.O

Here we go, Fearne spills the beans ... so Fearne is actually royalty ... Laudna: "Wait, THAT was your takeaway?" Meanwhile this is an additional connection to Otohan and co ...

Imogen: "What if we're stepsisters?" Fearne: "Oooh, exciting!" Orym: "We may have to KILL THEM."

Sammanar? Hmmmm ... yeah, we're definitely off on a weird tangent ...

Oh, so Nana knows all about the Sorrowlord ... znd apparently HE knows about Fearne ... great ...

Sammanar is another one of the five Arch Fey lords ... and "a bit of a prick" ...

Dusk Hunger, the Blade of the Black Flame ... wow ...

So they're showing Nana the Shard, eh? Okay then ... oh, so it "smells like" Fearne? Interesting ... wait ... is Fearne a remnant like Ashton then?

And now they're showing her the Harness too ... Nana: "Hungry goes the Bastards of Time." Okay ...

"A bit of the Old World"? Hmmmm ...

Fearne is still wary about taking in the Shard and I don't blame her at all ...

Ooooh ... Fearne got SASSY with Allura there ... XD

Oh, so Allura's giving us a little info on the Moonweaver ...

Sam's flask is very on the nose this week and nearly derails the whole discussion ... XD

Allura has some lore on Nana? Intriguing ...

Taliesin invokes Disney witches for insight on a 21 and gets some Whispers ...

A fruity aroma? And s gathering of critters? Where's THIS going?

Magic items to be earned? Intriguing ...

Weird tea ... okay ... are they about to be drugged up to their eyeballs?

Which first, then? Honesty? Okay, then ...

Wait, where the fuck are they now? In the jungle? What the hell? A chasm? Yikes ...

A brass monocle? Hmmmm ... the first item ... the Monocle of True Essence? Oh, they have to find it? Okay then ...

The chasm only listens to honesty? Hmmm ...

Fuck, now they're falling into the pit ... and NOW Matt chooses to go to break? Ye gods ...

Falling into a stanky rooty pit, then ... oh, this is NASTY ... charming place, clearly ...

Are they alone? Get sniffing, Chet. 6 ... oof ... Nice going, wolf boy ...

Telling a truth makes step grow? Interesting ...

Meanwhile looking for the lens ...

Imogen is scared to meet her mum again. Hmmmm ...

LEECHES!!! LEECHES!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! SHIT!!!

Both Laudna AND Delilah want the Shard? Oof ... and while Imogen loves her, Delilah being able to watch them creeps her out ... ouch ...

Wow, look at that, there's like a whole city down here ...

Orym is very lonely ALL THE TIME? Boy ... and then FCG just lays down dom existential dread ...

Laudna climbs the steps onto the bridge. Oh, balance check ...

Orym wonders if Chetney's actually his dad ... whoa ... that is ... awkward ...

Ashton was the cause for the robbery going bad that caused his own accident and how he ended up the way he is ...

FCG casts Light ... they start searching with real purpose now ... cue perception and investigation checks ...

Fearne thinks they're ill equipped and they're going to fail on saving the world ...

Chetney fears being rendered obsolete in his field of toy making expertise ...

Orym and Imogen are climbing now too.

Whenever FCG kills something it calms hom znd helps him relax? Yeesh ...

Imogen doesn't know if she WANTS to save gods who don't love her ... meanwhile Laudna believes they could just quit from this whole path anytime ...

Orym spots a faint green glint ... he may have spotted it? Okay ... look into that ... he takes a chance and does a leap out into the open ... with Imogen's help he lands where he intended to ... okay then ...

Bingo! There's the monocle! Nice one, wee man!

So everybody's just trying to climb out now? Is that going to work?

Fearne likes to mess with them all a little when they sleep. Nothing bad, just little curiosities ... that's ... an awkward one ... but it does fit with her character ...

Well, they're getting there ...

Ashton worries that all of them are capable of killing at least one of the others ...

Orym has all the faith in the world in all of them, but is also pulling a Batman to find each one's weakness in case it's needed too ... yeah ...

FCG worries he relies too much on the Changebringer but that she might not actually be on their side after all ...

Weird buoyant balloon mushrooms? What the fuck? Holy shit, that actually works? Crap ...

Imogen is disappointed in Fearne for not taking the Shard, and Laudna agrees.

Orym misses Dorian ... how is that any kind of revelation?

Matt is regretting the mushrooms now as it completely derails the session into gales of laughter ...

Liam: "I love it when we pervert Matt's narrative! It's true!"

Pate is not capable of deep truths, apparently ...

Ashton hates that he fucked up Fearne's life and wishes he'd died instead ... oh man ...

Wow ... Chetney is just a whole MESS of neuroses, isn't he?

Eagle things? What the hell is THIS shit? Oh, these are just WEIRD ... but they're helping, at least ... so ... that was it, then? Hmmmm ...

Wait, that was FCG's idea? Kind of ... hmmmm ...

Yes. Check for leeches ...

Oh boy, the monocle has a card ... oh, that's sweet ... oh yeah, Orym should DEFINITELY have that with his crazy perception ...

I agree, Chetney should have a hug ...

What's next? Communication? Okay ...

And now they're underground ... some kind of low hanging cavern? Hmmmm ...

A thunder wasp hive? Seriously?

A beautiful purple scarf ... torn into three pieces ... wait, so now Ashton, Imogen and Chetney are LITERALLY BLIND?!!! What the fuck? And now they're just GONE ... now at the ends of each of the platforms ...

Matt makes Travis swap seats with Marisha ... znd freaks him out while he does it ...

This is a COMPLETELY UNIQUE game situation ... for fuck's sake this is gonna get SO BAD ...

Great. Now there are FUCKING WASPS out here too ...

Now FCG is being AGGRESSIVELY STUNG ...

This is a genuinely RIDICULOUS thing we're witnessing here right now ... seriously I am just sitting here watching this in stunned silence while it gets INSANELY stressful ... snd now Chetney's going into the bug swarm ...

And now Chetney's wolfed out ... but still blind ...

FCG is VERY BADLY STUNG right now ...

Laudna is now sending Pate to kill the wasps ... or not. Hmmmm ... apparently that isn't allowed ...

Oh my gods this is INSANE ...

And now Chetney's getting stung TO FUCK ... Matt is making Travis ROLL BLIND ... 18? Oh thank fuck ...

I can't ... I just can't at this point ... it's BEYOND DESCRIPTION right now ...

Thank fuck THAT is over ... Sam: "Travis Willingham, this is your lower intestine."

And now we have to do this AGAIN ... crap ...

Laura's looks SO MUCH WORSE than Travis' did ... crap ... but it's the Witches working together ... along with Chetney ...

Talk about a bizarre tabletop gaming version of a trustfall ...

It's a good thing Laura and Travis trust each other so much, clearly ... gods, this one is going SO MUCH more smoothly than the previous one ...

No, not now ... damn you, Matthew! No wasps!

Oh wow ... Ashley gives Laura her plush Mister for luck ... Awwwwwwwwww ... :3

Shockflare? Oh, that's FRICKIN SWEET ... nice trick, Imogen ...

Balls ... they're THUNDER wasps ... not fair ...

Oh thank gods that is over at last ... that got so stressful at the end ...

So now it's Imogen and Fearne helping Ashton ...

Wow ... so far they're doing BY FAR the best at this ... oh wait ... yeah, may have spoken too soon ... aaaaaaaah ...fucking hell now it's stressful again ...

Taliesin: "This is the weirdest thing I have ever done in my life." Sam: "I don't think that's true."

Damn it, not the bloody wasps again ...

Ashton is now Raging to beat hid way through the wasps ... FUCK!!! He is now OFF THE FUCKING LEDGE!!! Oh, nice save, but blind ... dear fuck this is TERRIFYING!!! Shit, now he's just FALLING INTO THE FUCKING VOID!!! AAAAAAHHH!!!

Roll a 20, Taliesin! Shit!

Balls ... that was a fail, then ... is he gone? No ... poof, he's back with them. At least that wasn't really anybody's fault, it was just pure bad luck ...

Wait ... are they SERIOUSLY gonna try that again? With NO safety net this time? Come on, you can't seriously ...

Orym is going to go with Chetney and Imogen guiding him? I can't take it any more ...

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GIVING THEM A TIME LIMIT ON THIS MATTHEW?!!!

I fucking HATE THIS GAME!!!

Holy shit Orym you are a fucking SUPERSTAR!!! Amazing ...

Ooh, fancy stuff ... a magic scarf? Fancy ...

So what's left ... Trust? Okay ...

Deep Fey Realm forest ... ruins all around ... intriguing ... nasty brambles everywhere ... and a big well in the middle ...

Three altars? Somewhere in the ruins? Hmmm ...

Always a catch ... who are THESE guys? Dopplegangers? What the hell? Two of them are going to be replaced?

And that's IT for the night? SERIOUSLY, Matthew? You sadist ...

Next one is gonna be interesting, clearly ...