#plus I'm trying to find a psychologist or... something... which will also be helpful I think

[2qts]

Dude this world is so fuckin crazy man. Its so cool. I really like experiencing things the way I do. Like, fuck man I'm just out here. I feel like I'm floating or something. Life is great. I'm happy. /gen

[multifandom-girlie]

𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 ?

Imagine: Requested by Anon. You get slightly jealous of all the female fans groping and touching Daniel constantly.

Pairings: Daniel Gillies x Wife!Reader

Warnings: none.

Words: 1409

It wasn't a rare thing to go to events with Daniel at times because sometimes they can be a lot more interesting and fun to see in person and there's a bonus of being able to buy a great outfit for the occasion. I also love going to see how happy he gets when he greets his fans and gives them hugs and takes pictures with them, he treats his fans as if they were his children and they are really important to him. Although, some of his fans-mostly the females have a 'slight' crush on him and it makes your relationship difficult at times. Like when I get messages telling me Daniel deserves better. It used to hurt me more than it does now as clearly, Daniel doesn't care about their opinions when it comes to me. He knows me, he doesn't need to be told stuff like that by his 'biggest fans'.

However, it's not all bad though. Some fans, may have a crush on him but they love our relationship so much that there's literal fan accounts. It surprises me how many edits there actually are of me considering I'm not nearly as well known for my work as Daniel is and I'm not even in the Movie Industry, I literally work as a psychologist. Just a normal psychologist which Daniel finds fascinating, which always leads to the mass questionnaire I have when getting home. Also, not the mention... the role comes in useful in certain situations. But, if it happened in real life let's just say I would be very promptly fired and led of the premises, to put it simply.

This time however was an awards ceremony and for most intimate ceremonies like this for awards as big as this, there's very limited people allowed inside so unless your were invited you couldn't actually watch the ceremony. However, like most gatherings with invite only attendance a maximum of 700 fans get picked to sit on the sides of the red carpet leading up the entrance to be welcomed on arrival by their idols.

I was clutching Daniel's hand on the way there and playing with the wedding band on his left finger, which made me feel comforted. It always does. He knows how nervous I get when being with him at events like this because of how I'm written off as an nonentity. Which is true, I have no desire to be in the public eye but it's hard not to be when your married to such a talented and significant man. I only come as Daniel's plus one to these events because I'm so proud of how hard he works and the thought of him getting an award for something he so passionately adores is and incredible thing to witness. It's also unsurprisingly better to watch in person than on the tv at home.

As we were getting out of the sleek, black of the limousine we have been driven in all I heard is screaming and that's when I knew that I just had to smile through the nervousness and remember they only want Daniel. Daniel had already stood up out of the car and turned around to me and grabbed my hand to help me out of the car too, like the gentleman he was. He didn't rush me either to get out of the car, almost like he didn't have an award to win or fans behind him to great. That's how I know that no matter how many of these events I go too, I'm always going to be fine because he puts me and how I feel before anything.

I stood up and linked our arms together whilst we just started to walk up the stairs towards the carpet leading forward and when we got to the top and stopped he grinned at his fans or as his at his adopted children as he likes to call them at times and kisses me on the cheek before walking over to the right side of the carpet to greet people. I could see the flashes of light on our sides as we were being photographed and then someone tap on my shoulder. It was a reporter, I walked closer to them whilst letting go of Daniel's hand which he didn't seem to fully register.

It was Hollywood Reporter. They smiled at me and started firing questions.

"So, Mrs Gillies how proud of Daniel are you for being talented enough to win this award ?"

"I'm extremely proud of him and it's not a biased opinion but truly I don't believe it could have gone to a better person than Daniel. He truly works so so hard and he really deserves to be awarded for how sensational he so clearly is."

"Absolutely! How about his most recent role ? How are you taking to the look of a new character in his recent release of the movie 'The Lost Wife of Robert Durst' ?"

"Oh, it definitely took some getting used too but I think he really needed a character so different to Elijah who he's been since 2009, I believe. So, yeah coming home with a really long and messy head of hair was slightly confusing to me but then again a lot of the time he comes home in costume and I just look at him and think 'I'm not gonna question it. You do you.' So, its very good for him."

"That's awesome. Well, thank you for talking to us. We apologise if you didn't want to be talked too."

"Oh, no your welcome. Most people don't bother to apologise, you've been by far the nicest reporters. Have a nice evening."

"And you !"

I turned around to see a good number of women touching Daniel's arms and chest though and some were even kissing him on the cheek. I walked over towards him and wrapped my arm around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. I whispered that we needed to start going in soon and he nodded his head at me. I didn't want to take away his time with his fans but at the same time I was actually getting jealous of their hands all over him so I did something they couldn't.

"Baby, I'm getting cold...can I have your jacket please ?"

He looked at me oddly and I knew exactly why. I have never asked for his jacket before and whenever he offers I turn it down most of the time because of the cliche of the gesture. Nevertheless, he took it off and put it around me. Then just before turning round again he kissed me on the head and said 'five more minutes'. I nodded and stuck by his side, making sure that I was always touching him in some way or when I couldn't showing of my wedding ring. Normally, I'm not a jealous person but this was getting physical. The five minutes had ended and he was just taking one last picture before wrapping his arm around my waist and walking us up to the entrance. As we were walking he spoke up to me.

"Can I have your jacket ? Really ? Is that the best you could have done."

Oh shit. He caught on. It was one thing to be jealous but to admit it to him...never gonna happen.

"I don't know what your talking about, baby. I was cold."

"You don't get cold that easily, beautiful. We both know that. You also know that you hate the cliche of asking for a partners jacket. Just admit it, you were jealous. Even if there was no need to be."

"Why you don't you try seeing me with a load of men that aren't you touching me and kissing me and see how you feel. I know that I'm your wife and that is enough confirmation to know that I'm it for you but it's still not nice to see a crowd of girls groping you at every event we go too."

"Ok fair enough, it's not nice of an image to picture. Even if it would never happen because I'm not going to let it. If I need to add to the confirmation, I mostly certainly will."

"Oh ? How are you going to do that ?"

"I'll show you, in the bathroom in ten minutes."

"Deal."

"I love you, beautiful."

"I love you, handsome."

MASTERLIST

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!

[sukirichi]

hi suki! wanted to tell you this bc i have no one else to talk about it with ><

( you can answer this when the English chapter releases! i was able to read it because my friend bought the WSJ issue)

I was trying to udnerstand Naoy's character, so I was reding everything from CH138-151 again. I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked", except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society is a place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

Have a nice day suki!! kisses~

(also this is a PSPSPSPS to a naoya childhood friends au fic pls 👁👁)

bestie omg I am so sorry, I found this deep in my inbox and I am *shakes* and yes yes let’s talk about naoya, I would be more than glad to and I’m sorry I didn’t see this any sooner!! more rants and simping under the cut

I'm kinda sad at how people just calls Naoya a Toji fanboy (though true LMAO) and not realizing how Toji really influenced his persona. Like the admiration Naoya held for Toji is so deeply engraved in him that he, who was called a genius sorcerer as a child, looks up to a man who was called a failure. Toji is probably the only man in the clan that he respected, that's why toji's level of strength became his "picture" to follow. And I think a lot of who Naoya has become is because the Zen'ins literally groomed the decency out of him. Still, though groomed to be everything he is, he himself chose not to change anything about it.

omg for this…I’m actually like…like I love the detail that naoya admires toji? as we can see from the panel of little naoya, it’s like people have already planted in his head that no cursed energy = loser, yet he ended up admiring him and I am,,,my heart is just soft! exactly! just think of naoya born as a genius sorcerer yet his admiration for toji, who is painted as the clan’s failure, helped shape him into who he is! idk but I just really love the fact that naoya, who is like born with the pressure and role of being clan leader, somewhat strays from tradition and ends up finding strength into toji and even strives to follow him or “stand by him” someday. for me, it just shows that perhaps naoya isn’t really half as bad as he should be in an honest sense, meaning that he’s evil or morally corrupt because he was born that way or because he chose to be that way. I do agree that perhaps he is the way he is now because he’s groomed to be like that, but of course, I’m not going to disregard the fact that somewhere along the way, Naoya could’ve matured to choose himself to not embody the misogynistic tradition of the zen’in clan.

This could just be me, but my interpretation of it is that Naoya seems more like the perfect product or embodiment of how the clan shaped him to be, blinded him with false morals and the patriarchy presiding into them. Rather than Naoya being just “a misogynistic arrogant man” in my perspective and my opinion, I see him more into the bigger picture of his toxic upbringing to begin with. Like, no child is born evil unless there’s like a predetermined curse deciding their fate for them, so its partly the Zen’in clan’s fault he’s that way. But Gege showing that Naoya admiring someone the Zen’in clan disregarded, it shows that he is capable of being himself without the clause of his clan enforcing things to him once again, like the whole “he’s gonna be the future clan leader” thing, though that is still heavily embedded within him.

(wait but also?? little naoya looks cute like he would guide old ladies on the ped xing so what the fuck happened after that)

OMGGGG PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE, HE LOOKED SO INNOCENT AND ADORABLE BUT EVEN AS A CHILD HE WAS ALREADY CALLING PEOPLE A LOSER LIKE EYE

I guess one major reason why he does not respect anyone else in the clan (besides his superiority complex) is because of the Zen'in's concept of what is marked as strong. Like, the way they see and treated him as if he's the best sorcerer in the making, yet failing to see Toji's powers and rejecting him fully. It's something similar to Mai when she said "Maki has talent that I don't. And the clan rejected that; that talent that I lacked",except Naoya is raised to be a confident (arrogant?) child, thus he takes it as a challenge instead and works to achieve it.

Anon, is it just me or like…was his superiority complex also enforced on him by the Zen’in clan as well? Again this could just be me going all psychologist mode on Naoya but the nature of superiority complex is quite interesting, you know! As a psych student, I perfectly understand that superiority complex either stems from several things like a) wanting to live up to one’s or others expectations, b) masking it with a deep stem of insecurity, or c) it’s a coping mechanism. See, I could go on and on about but then I’d have to link all my past studies lmao so let’s just put it on layman’s terms that my interpretation of Naoya’s superiority complex is once again, influenced by the clan. Imagine being a kid born into a clan where people remind you again and again that you’re the future leader, that you would be the one to guide them or protect them or discuss the clan’s future and status once you grow, and you’re quite groomed for it.

For such pressure to be put on a child’s shoulders, it kind of strips off his youth and instead of him enjoying his youth, I can imagine that it took a toll on little Naoya, and the reason he grew his superiority complex is his way to cope and reach the standards and expectations that is given to him. Of course, he’s a kid, he might start to wonder, “Can I even do all of that?” but seeing as the Zen’in clan highly measures strength and growth based on abilities, cursed energy, and overall just to conform into the image they’ve held for years, it’s quite obvious that Naoya can’t exactly voice out his worries over this, so instead, he masks it with a superiority complex that absolutely boosts him to a higher level, thus giving him the confidence he needed to carry out his tasks and the reassurance that, “Yes, I am worthy and I will be the clan leader.” As for your theory that he takes it as a challenge, I can see where you’re coming from! I think Naoya is the type of person who definitely likes to challenge himself, but one of the reasons I love his character so much is because he’s not completely a brainless “head on straight to war” type of person too.

He knows his limits and knows which side he should be in, as showed when Yuuta came and mans surrendered easily. Idk why but to me, Naoya, who is such an arrogant confident man who has high trust in abilities, but at the same time can admit when someone is stronger than him (like him admiring Toji and Gojo) just makes him more human and a little more beautifully flawed. Like, he’s not perfect and he’s most definitely an irritating character, but the way he was written is just *chef’s kiss*

So, when Maki reached the level of Toji, I think his reaction wasn't simply stemmed on his "fanboy" antics, but his desperation of being part of that level of strength. I think he's more irritated in the fact that Maki, someone who he does not see anywhere near as strong as he is (though he does say Maki is strong in chapter 138), reached a level of strength that he hasn't; that he is trying hard to achieve. It's also the same with having your favorite superhero getting defeated. And Naoya's in denial that there is someone else who could be the same as Toji.

Yes, ah I really do love this theory that he’s more irritated because in his mind, he’s like, “I’m a genius sorcerer! I was meant to be clan leader! This is my rightful spot to be a strong one, so how come Maki, who is a woman, with no zero cursed energy has reached the level of the person I looked up most to?” again, Naoya didn’t say that and those are just my opinions and brainrot so don’t come at me for it uwu, but yeah I do think that he’s very aggravated that he didn’t react that level first. Because I guess you could say, he’s probably alluding that Maki reaching Toji’s strength = them being equals, and ofc Naoya wanted to be the one standing beside them. It probably hit his superiority complex that he wasn’t the one in Maki’s spot especially when he tried so hard to achieve it, and considering the gifts he was given (same cursed technique as his dad and him having cursed energy) it threw him off.

Yeah, Naoya is most likely in denial and becomes aggressive over it, although I don’t really mean physically aggressive because Naoya is actually quite calm and ‘composed.’ If ever he did go on a rampage, he does it in such a suave, calculated manner with this silent confidence that he will win. It kind of makes you root for him because he even fools the audience (by audience I mean ME) that he’s going to OWN that fight but whoop, he got his ass kicked. Plus ten points for confidence and a bonus thousand points for being sexy though!!! Yeah, omg he’s probably in disbelief that a woman of all people could be like the person he admired most.

I like how he's an antagonist that was not build under the foundation of a sob backstory (though it was a v small sneak peak of his background and was mainly centered with his admiration for toji, plus I think people forget that Naoya is an antagonist), how he acknowledges that he has not reached that level of strength. Of course, I'm angsty about his misogynistic ideals. I get that he's from a very traditionalist clan so... yeah. I mean, no child is born evil. Children learn from those around them (I've seen many people say he's trash since he was a kid when he said that "i wonder what miserable face he has", but like he's a kid, he doesn't know what he's saying AHSJFJWJQ8QR he was either taught that or he just learned it from others. Funnily enough, he does say toji has a pretty face now LMAO). Maybe it stems from something else, maybe it didn't.

OMG YESSSS ANON YES YES YES *slams down simping button angrily* That’s what I like about him too! Even though Naoya is cocky and wayyyy too arrogant for his own good, I also like that he acknowledges he’s not quite in a level he wants to be in yet. And hah, his backstory, it wasn’t totally sob because it’s obvious he was much too doted on, but I still hate how they made him like that. True, if he’s still carrying the same misogynistic ideals as he is now in an age where he has the mental capacity to improve and be different, then the belief has become more of a choice than something engraved into him, which I am really disappointed and not really into because of course, he’d be much better if he wasn’t like that in the first place. LOLOLOLOL yes yes he’s a kid, it sure as hell doesn’t excuse the way he is now but like just think !!

if a kid was spouting out such mean words and CLEARLY no one is correcting him, who really is the problem here? A child has a harder time deciphering what is right and wrong by himself without proper guidance. And he didn’t have proper guidance, they really just let him be like that and it’s because the clan!! sucks !! ass !! YEAH he probably called toji with a miserable face because he hasn’t seen him before but after seeing the iconic dilf, Naoya gone be like, “anyways, I lied, moving on—”

I'm not saying him trying to kill Megumi is forgotten (Though, the Jujutsu Society isa place where teens get executed for the simple fact that they are too strong, so im not surprised. Just like Noritoshi said, age does not matter in Jujutsu Society). I see now why he was really pissed about Megumi being the head, since Naoya has been promised the position since he was young, only to loose of a 15 year old who is the son of the man he admires :')) However, still, none of it excuses the shit he did. He still has a shitty personality, but it's nice to know a bit of a background.

yeah no of course, no worries! even as a hardcore naoya stan, I can admit this dude is TERRIBLE for so many reasons! yeah I mean that could be pretty irritating because he was born for it, raised to be clan leader, groomed and expected he’d have that role, but nah someone else took his throne. yeah I’m with you on that, naoya has a shitty personality and I would totally smack him if he was real because he makes my eyes roll to the back of my head, but knowing his background and theorizing (read: me going all psychologist mode because he’s the only character I ever cared about to apply my studies into) his character is quite fun. I wish we had more scenes with Naoya though, I really hoped he’d play a bigger role but he just…died, I guess, though I’m starting to believe that maybe he really isn’t dead! Gege did him dirty omg I’ll cry again if it’s really GENUINELY confirmed my baby is gone.

Anyway, that's all for now. My English is bad so that might be all over the place •`,`• That's just my take on it so I could be wrong or maybe seeing him wrong since we still don't know much abt him. I'm always scared to talk about naoya because the last time i did (on twt) i got a backlash of hate (ppl really do get hate just from admiring someone's characterization). Your blog is like a safe haven for naoya stans, so i thank you for that hehe.

ah no worries about your English, I didn’t really notice anything wrong with it tbh! And I understand, these are all just our opinions/theories/perspectives, we could be wrong or not, we don’t really know because we’re not Gege (⋟﹏⋞) NOOOO PEOPLE HATED YOU ON THAT? ISTG I’VE NEVER SEEN A FANDOM CANCEL SOMEONE AS MUCH AS JJK FANDOM CANCELS NAOYA AND NAOYA STANS LIKE – he’s just a fictional character omg, cancelling naoya is understandable because I would too but attacking his fans? or generally anyone who talks about him in a neutral or not in a way that goes, “yeah I would punch this mfer” is just?? doesn’t make sense to me bestie, people really choose to do that with their time yikes.

AND AWWW THANK YOU YES I PROTECT ALL MY FELLOW NAOYA STANS HERE, I respect who people simp for because if it’s what you enjoy and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, then it really doesn’t matter and it’s not a big deal! and you’re always welcome here uwu. have an even nicer day bestie and I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner AAAA I really loved talking about this tho HEHEHEH I’m not actually too much of a JJK theorist since I’m not smart enough to pay attention or infer from all the details but NAOYA HMMMMM also childhood friends fic? hmu let’s hear it!! also ahh hmm idk but i get really happy whenever people talk to me freely about naoya bcos even tho i have been a naoya simp for like three months, it was not until recently that people came to me about him and i have just been simping alone (bcos people MADDDD) spsppsps okay rant over thank you anon i love you kith kith <3

[missmentelle]

Hey! So I'm 18 and this is my first year at university. The thing is, I've always been a super shy and introverted person, so on my first days here I avoided talking to anyone because I felt like I wasn't ready. Now it's been more than four months and I'm still unable to talk to them. It's just such a big deal for me. I get anxious and I just feel the urge to run away. Is this weird? Will I ever be able to open up? I'm scared this will last forever and I'll end up alone. Thank you beforehand^^

Hi there,

To be honest, I can relate a lot to your story. I’ve always been pretty shy myself, and even though I wanted to start fresh when I moved away to uni I did fall into old habits because of my introversion and anxiety for a bit. It's a pretty common thing actually, and it isn’t weird at all. It’s just something kinda difficult that we need to work through so we can be happier. It is possible to break out of this though and start opening up to people! It won’t last forever and you aren’t going to be alone forever, there’s a ton of steps you can take to help yourself out of this. 

I’d highly recommend finding some professional help - it’s the easiest way to deal with this stuff. Having someone who understands what you are going through and has a ton of strategies and tools at their disposal to help you is invaluable. Seeing as you are at uni, normally there are counselling services available which can be great if you are low on money from being a student. If that isn’t available, are you able to seek help in the community? In some countries you can get a number of free or discounted therapy sessions if you get a plan through your doctor, but there is also the option of insurance etc. Basically, any kind of help you can get would get you off to a great start. Plus, seeing someone in-person to get some help for this stuff kind of exposes you to talking to strangers. You can use the relationship you have with the therapist/psychologist/social worker/counsellor to practice coming out of your shell to another person. 

If you can’t seek professional help, there are still a few things you can do on your own. You could try to slowly expose yourself to socialising, by taking small steps that will ease you into it all. It can be helpful to write up a plan on what you could do at each step in advance so you have something to follow. For example, it might look something like this:

Say hello to 1 person in my class

Have a short conversation with 1 person in class about something uni-related (e.g. class content)

Talk to a small group of people about something uni-related (e.g. class content)

Talk to 1 person about more personal stuff (e.g. where you’re from, if you’re living with roommates/on campus - nothing too deep)

Have a chat to a few people about similar stuff outside of class work

Organise to catch up for a study session/coffee with someone

Organise a group catch up/study session

Each step can be worked through as fast or slow as you need, just move on when you feel ready. You will feel a little bit uncomfortable but if you start to panic it’s usually a sign you need to slow down a little. Over time though, going through these little steps can help you to build your confidence and overcome your anxiety.

Along with doing this, I have a couple of other recommendations to help you manage anxiety in general. Putting yourself into these new situations can be a little stressful at times and it’s good to have some strategies to calm yourself down if you need to. They can also be really useful for dealing with general uni/life stress:

Journalling: you could use a journal to try and get your anxious thoughts out on paper (or on your phone/computer if you don’t want a physical copy). This can help as a way of venting things out, and also helps you to take a step back from your thoughts so you can evaluate them and see if there is anything you can do. It doesn’t need to be anything pretty or fancy, getting your thoughts out is the most important part. 

Mindfulness: This kind of combines a lot of anxiety-reducing methods and can be really helpful to use in a number of situations. There’s apps you can use to help you with it if you think doing meditations would be helpful, but that isn’t the only way to practice mindfulness. Here is a page that gives a good overview of it.

Breathing techniques: Try breathing in for 4, hold for 7, breathing out for 8 (or, if you’re like me and awful at holding your breath/have a physical illness that prevents you from doing this - I have personally found that breathing in for 3, hold for 2, out for 4 works well).

Grounding: This can be done in a number of ways, but one of the easiest to remember on the spot is to use your senses. Try and look for 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel around you, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This can sometimes help you to get out of your head and back to what is really going on in your surroundings if you start to feel anxious.

I hope this helps, I wish you the best!

Bee

[mental-health-advice]

just came back from my psychologist who suspects that i might have depression. i almost broke down crying. i'm still in sophomore year of high school. is there anything i can do to help myself get better? i'm clueless as to what to do now.

Hello.

Opening up and seeing a professional about our mental health can really be difficult so I am super proud of you for reaching out. It can be hard when we get a diagnosis because it sort of feels like we are in limbo, we have the answer we need in the form of a diagnosis but everything else is unknown. We don’t know what to do or where to go. Just to let you know that bursting out crying is a total normal emotion and reaction to have as I did exactly the same. It was partly relief because I finally had an answer to why I was feeling so down but on the other hand I was scared because I didn’t know what it all meant and if I could get better or where do I go to get better.

Firstly, I would still consider seeing your psychologist and to speak to them about your worries and concerns. I would also ask them to point you in the right direction of getting a diagnosis if they can’t fully diagnose you, once you have a diagnosis it is easier to get the right help and treatment. Once you have a diagnosis you can discuss on the right course of treatment for you. It may be with a therapist/counsellor, it may be medication or a mixture of both. But professional help can really help you if you are struggling and be able to support you and give you advice on ways to manage your depression.

If I am being honest you never fully recover from depression, there will always be bad days / good days, but having the right tools and support system in place to help you when you have those bad days are really important. Try and find a good support network of people that you can speak to when things are tough whether that is your friends, your parents, somebody online just having someone there to talk to and make sure that you are coping will help.

Here are some of the things I do to manage my depression..

Hanging out with other people- I know sometimes being with people is the last thing we want to do but being lonely can make these feelings worse. Hanging out with friends, family or other people can take your mind off the sadness that is consuming you and make a nice distraction. 

Doing things that you enjoy- Find something that you like doing whether that is baking, writing, watching movies, going for a walk, you’ll instantly feel better doing things that bring you joy.

Laugh- I know this sounds silly but it has been proven that the if we laugh (whether it is fake or not) that it brings feelings of happiness.

Get active- Getting outside for a little walk can have great benefits for our feelings, they release endorphins which is known as the happy chemical.

Write down your feelings- Writing down your feelings really can help you get how you feel off your chest and sometimes once those feelings are off your shoulders you can feel a lot better.

Looking after yourself- Make sure you are eating, sleeping, drinking right because all those things can have a dramatic effect on how we feel. I know if I don’t get enough sleep it can make things feel 100x worse.

Remind yourself that things will get better- Things will get better within time and you need to remind yourself of that, knowing that there is happiness round the corner can really help. 

Make a self care box- I have a small box under my bed that I fill with stuff that makes me happy or that I enjoy. Whenever I am feeling particularly sad or anxious I pull it out and use something out of the box. It usually brightens up however I am feeling. I have bath bombs, small candles, hair masks, nail polish and face masks so I can relax, I have journals and pens to write down things when I need a release, I have colouring books when I am feeling anxious and need to calm myself down, I have 2 of my favourite films when I need cheering up or distracting, I also have puzzles to distract myself. Plus a ton of other things.

Get some sunshine- Sitting in the sunshine always makes me feel better, I usually like to have my morning cup of tea sat outside with the sun or read my favourite book outside. Sun is said to be really good for helping with depression as it contains vitamin D.

Get into a routine- I find that having a simple routine really helps me otherwise I can spend all my day being sad or staying in bed so having a routine sets me up for the day. Something as simple as get up, get dressed, have my breakfast, take a walk. Nothing life changing but things that will help me with my mental health.

There may be some days when nothing works or some days where all you can do is lie in bed and that is okay. Remember to be gentle on yourself and that you are going through a tough time , be kind!

Take care.

Ariel xo

[aucatgirl]

Hello! I'm so, so sorry to bother you... but i have a question about autism. I don't really know if you feel comfortable about answering, I'm sorry. You can just ignore it. But you are the autistic person I've been following for the longest time, that's why I feel like asking you. It's been some years that I think I might have autism too. I talked about it with my parents, but they denied the possibility harshly. I've been scared that if I tell some doctor about it, they will just brush it off too, and I'll seen ridiculous. But I can't convince myself that I might actually have if I'm the only one who thinks so. I just don't know what to do. I tried to move on from it, tell myself I don't have it and that's it. But, always when I see something about autism and think "that's so me", it comes back. I'm so sorry for this long, annoying ask. But do you think you can help me? What should I do?

I’m totally open to questions about autism!! I actually really like talking about this lol... I can’t answer everything cus I’m just one person and Autism Is Super Diverse(tm), but this is an area I’m experienced in so I’ll try to give the best advice i can.

I was totally 100% in the same boat as you for awhile. I was self-dxed for about three-ish years? Before I found a psychologist that listened out of sheer luck. My dad was super adamant about me not being autistic, it really sucked and made me feel like a crazy attention-seeker for thinking I might be. But obviously... I was right and he was wrong, LOL!! Unfortunately, even if things have gotten better recently, stigma is still rampant and commonplace.

It’s a tough and frustrating situation to be in, and I totally understand how much it hurts to be brushed off by family and medical professionals. There’s no one easy way to get out of it, but I’ll list some tips. If this is something that’s been bugging you and you’re pretty sure about it, do more research and read firsthand accounts, build up that confidence that you’re right!! Doctors and parents don’t know you more than you do.

1) Objectively speaking, self diagnosing is safer (and totally free!). Here’s a post (that has some outdated terms) on the pros and cons of both self diagnosing and professional (or paper) diagnosing. And, it’s also totally cool and valid. Literally the only advantage of professional diagnosis is the validation and maybe the occasional subpar accommodation, it’s totally overrated. If you’re not in dire need of accommodations or autism-focused medication/therapy (which doesn’t make u less autistic btw), I would lean more towards advising self-diagnosis so you can avoid opening that giant can of discrimination- at least until you’re in a place where you feel it’s safe to do so.

Even if, offline, you feel like you’re the only one who thinks your autistic, the online community I’ve seen is generally super accepting and supportive of self-dxed people, some of my friends are self-dxed and are hanging out in the online community just like everyone else. If not, well... you can just straight up lie about it LMAO... but I would avoid areas that are against self-dx in the first place, the gatekeeper types have an eerily similar mindset to exclusionists and tend to be uncool people overall.

2) Find a specialist! I found my current and all-time favorite therapist through filtering like crazy on psychologytoday (if you’re not in the US, you can change the country to yours if it has it), and then reading all their bios until I found someone I thought would take me seriously. And also took my insurance. Some psychologists will ask you up front what you’re there for and you can just say you suspect you’re autistic (or, “on the autism spectrum” is the current “”polite”” way of saying it 🥴), and you’re more likely to get a read of them before you shell out a bunch of money for an appointment. Honestly I would suggest doing that for anyone looking to go to therapy.

If you’re worried about location, a lot of places are doing telephone appointments or zoom sessions as long as your in the same state (that’s just in the US tho, I’m not sure about other countries).

3) You can do one of those expensive screenings... but even that kinda depends. Plus, you’ll need a referral from a doctor in most cases. I was screened in eighth grade and I didn’t show up as autistic because there were too many things that needed rule-outs. You might freeze up and avoid talking about things, trauma and co-morbidities clouds everything, and some screenings are worse than others. But if you’re an adult and have a couple hundred bucks laying around, you won’t need parental approval and it’s worth a shot.

I hope this helps at least a little bit! This isn’t every possible way you could go about this, I opened up replies for anyone else that has any more advice for this type of situation!!

[nakalimutang-sumpaan]

To think, if I just had continued a decade ago, I'd probably be an architect by now or even a few years ago...

BUT I guess there are perks to this shelter in place.

My social anxiety is extremely grateful haha. This online thing is GREAT. Having connections is the best bc the professor pays extra attention to me, though I'm trying my best to make it a point where he does so not bc of a mutual friend/connection, but bc I pay attention and actually participate. But tbh, I wouldn't have been able to participate if it wasn't for THE FREE CLASS FOR LDC THAT WAS OFFERED BY THE SOCIETY. I'M CONFIDENT AND KNOW WHAT I'M DOING AND TALKING ABOUT BECAUSE OF THAT CLASS. I feel like.. although I constantly feel like I'm 8-10 years late when it comes to experience and growth and am just currently achieving and reaching goals that I wished/planned to/should have accomplished as a teenager, the timing of everything is actually perfect. I say that bc without everything that I have gone through this past decade, I don't think I would have the mental and emotional capacity to handle certain things and experiences. Obviously my anxiety and depression have worsened a bit bc of shelter in place, but that's okay. Incredible things have come out of it. And the classes I'm taking in college now (FOR FREE MIGHT I ADD BC OF MY GRANT) are classes I'm really into and I know will pass and finish, just like Culinary Arts. I can only start, stick to, and finish something if I absolutely LOVE it... which I think is why I have never been able to finish/stick to anything bc I've always done things for others since they want me to do it. This time, it's for me and Jehovah. Though I know it makes dad+ happy too.

Another nice thing is Professor took notice of me and called me kind and helpful today for helping out the new student. I could tell they were both a bit frustrated and weren't understanding each other so I ended up stepping in haha and that solved the problem bc I understood what the student was getting at. Plus, I was lowkey able to magpatotoo during my introduction when I mentioned that I'm taking this class to be able to further enhance my knowledge in order to be able to help out moreso when I volunteer to build places of worship during my free time.

The best part: All for Jehovah and for the organization. At least, initially is was. Mainly it still is, of course. Though I think I actually do want to work as a CAD drafter or designer bc THIS IS FUN. ANYTHING DESIGN IS FUN AND ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THIS.

I was called a Jack of all Trades a few weeks ago.. which is true. I know this. It sucks that I'm indecisive and love/am decent at baking, calligraphy, AutoCAD, and a little bit of graphic designing. I literally don't know what to choose. I mean, I’m a master of none but still. I also love all things nutrition or psychology, so much so that I would love to be a nutritionist or therapist/psychologist or some sort of mental health clinician. The thing is, I do love baking, and that's what I majored in, but there is no money in that unless I commute daily to the city since that's where you can make a lot in the food industry, which I'm not down for unless a company covers commute benefits lol plus to be a chef means working 10-12+ hour shifts and especially on weekends so that’s a definite no, OR if I open up my own business, which I would be down for and was the original plan...until I started pioneering. Honestly pioneering threw me off, but in the best way haha.

Although, honestly, being almost 30 and still not knowing what to do is frustrating and anxiety-inducing, I feel like Jehovah is guiding me to do what's best for me. I hope and constantly pray that He is, bc all I want to do is be used by Him and make up for the 8 years that I did not put Him first.

I hope that despite my mental health issues that I can still be used by Him... and finally find a job that does not feel like a job that supports my pioneering, LDC work, and pays well. I also know that it will help me with my confidence and actually be okay with being okay with dating too LOL bc I want to be great individually and be a wonderful addition to someone's life and not be a burden, at least not financially or spiritually.

[transastronautistic]

Hey! I see you've recently scheduled top surgery with Dr. Hope Sherie in North Carolina? I was wondering if you could tell me a bit about your experience so far, like as in customer service and responsiveness, informed consent and of course cost and insurance. I'm trying to talk to other people rather than just relying on websites. Hope to hear from you soon :)

Hi, so sorry I didn’t see this earlier! I hope this helps, and feel free to ask more questions because trans and nonbinary folks have to help each other out :)

And if anyone has already had surgery with Dr. Hope Sherie and wants to share some of their results I know I would love to hear that.

Informed Consent

I only looked at top surgeons who accept informed consent, since I don’t have much hope that I’d be able to get a letter from a psychologist tbh. After researching like ten surgeons, I narrowed things down to Dr. Sherie and one other doctor (Paul Steinwald) as the best options for me based on their locations and others’ reviews of them. After phone consultations with both doctors, Dr. Sherie was by far the best option.

For one thing, she did not pester me about why I want the surgery, how long I’ve wanted it, and so on. The other top surgeon did – I assume to make sure I was ~really trans~ or something, since he also goes by informed consent. Which I get, and I don’t blame him for doing it, but I appreciated that Dr. Sherie took me at my word, you know? All I told her is that I’d been hoping for this surgery for a long time and she accepted that without insisting I “prove” it.

And yeah, all she really needs is your medical history to make sure the surgery will be safe for you. I had heart surgery when I was four, so she had me visit my cardiologist to make sure I wouldn’t have complications from that; and then all I had to do is send her a letter from my cardiologist and there were no other obstacles to the surgery! (I also have diagnosed depression and anxiety but she did not mention them as being a problem so that was good)

Responsiveness and Customer Service

During my phone consultation with Dr. Sherie (which was back in April I think), I talked first with her patient care coordinator, Kevin, and then with her. Both of them are seriously a delight to talk to – very warm and friendly, super knowledgeable but with a sense of humor that put me at ease.

I get the feeling that Dr. Sherie genuinely cares about her trans / nonbinary clients, because of the language she and her staff use. For instance, they always use my chosen name when talking to me viaphone and email.(The other consultation place, as a comparison, addressed me by my legal name in a follow-up email, so it is special that Dr. Sherie and her staff don’t do that.)I’m trying to remember if they asked my pronouns...I think Kevin did but I might be wrong. Either way, they haven’t called me “she” or “miss” or “m’am” or anything so that’s good.

Plus, she also gives great discounts to many of us for various things. Veterans, for instance, get a big discount, and if you pay all your fee upfront rather than with loans, you get another big discount.

Both Dr. Sherie and Kevin told me to email or call as often as I want with questions leading up to the surgery, and I have taken them up on that haha. I prefer email to phone calls, and whenever I email Kevin he replies pretty promptly and with plenty of detail. I never feel like I’m “bothering” either of them.

After the phone consultation, they also emailed me a super detailed PDF with information on pricing, pre-op and post-op care, hotels I can stay in, and more. It was way more detailed than anything the other top surgeon sent me. I don’t want to give the PDF to you myself just in case they don’t want it to be available to non-clients, but I bet if you called them and asked for it, they’d send it to you!

Finally, they were great about finding a date for the surgery that works for me (as a student, it’s hard to find a good time).

Pricing

Their prices are much better than at the other place I looked into. I got a big shock when the other place told me the total cost would be around $10,200!! I hadn’t realized there would be “hidden fees.” Dr. Sherie has no hidden fees, so the cost is like $6000-8000 (depending on procedure).

I mentioned the available discounts earlier. Another good thing is that you can reschedule or cancel your surgery up to 15 days before it happens and get your $1000 deposit reimbursed completely!

They have a gift basket with stuff to help you through the post-op experience that you can buy for an extra $100 which I’m thinking of doing. And if you’ll be going to the surgery and going through post-op alone, you can hire a caregiver to watch over you that first night after the surgery.

I’ll include some screenshots of pricing stuff from the PDF under the readmore.

The Surgery

I’m getting my surgery August 8 so obviously I don’t know how it will turn out, but based on other people’s experience plus what she told me about it and what her PDF of info says, I’m excited.

When I asked Dr. Sherie and Kevin various questions about the surgery, I got the feeling that they were being more honest with me than the other top surgeon I had a consultation with – not that he wasn’t honest exactly, but Dr. Sherie and Kevin were more open, giving me more info than I thought to ask for. (Example: the other top surgeon was like “yeah there won’t really be pain just discomfort” which based on stuff I’ve heard from folks who’ve gotten top surgery is not true. Kevin was like “oh yeah you’ll feel like you got hit by a truck but we’ll make sure you have the pain meds to help you for that first week.”)

For good results: Dr. Sherie suggested that I look around for photos of other peoples’ top surgery results online (places like transbucket) and send her the ones I want my chest to look like. Since things like where the nipple is placed (if at all – she has done several chests with no nipple graft which is what I want), the angle of the scars, and so on can vary, it’s really reassuring to me to know that she’ll have photos printed and hung up in the operating room so she can model my chest after them.

Also, note that they want you to stay in the area for the first week following surgery, with a follow-up appointment at the end of that week. And one week prior to surgery, you do another consultation -- either in person or over the phone -- to prepare for the surgery.

Okay, that’s all I can think of! I’ll put some screenshots of their informational PDF under the readmore, sorry I don’t have the time to type them out so they’re more accessible but hopefully you can read them.

Here’s the pricing stuff. The price in the left column of prices is if you need to use loans or whatnot; the right column’s price is if you pay it all up front. I believe Dr. Sherie sometimes has extra discounts during some months so keep an eye out for that on her site, I suppose.

This package is available so that they’ll get all this stuff for you instead of you having to go buy it all yourself: 

You probably can find this info on other websites, but here is what Dr. Sherie’s PDF says about post-op stuff:

[rogue-bard]

I didn't quite realize the number of fics with overly emotional Tony. I thought it was just me gravitating toward it. I wonder if there's a way to encourage writing a bit more variety in Tony-centric stuff. I want other people to find relief in it too, if they so choose.  (I'm sitting here trying to think of which author I can have that discussion with and how to word it.) I want you to have you!Tony too. I started crying reading your answer. How sad is that? Not even in a bad way, (1 of 4)

(2 of 4) but I'm laughing at myself for being an emotional dweeb. I've been told before that I'm not pathetic, and on good days I believe it. On so-so days it's still a habit to use that descriptor? On bad days. . . I see myself as a constant burden. (I've slept now so I don't feel as rough as when I sent the asks. Today feels like a so-so day.) You what's frustrating? That I understand that people may not be able to carry the weight of my issues on top of whatever they've got going on(3 of 4) in their lives,  that no one is required to, and yet I still feel extra bad when I can't go to them. It's like screaming and nobody can hear me, but i know that's not what it is. Then I feel like I'm selfish on top of everything else. It doesn't help that I have a habit of trying to take on all their stuff. They need to vent, talk, get away, etc. I'm there in my beat up old pick up truck as fast as he can go. Even if they don't ask, I'm plotting ways to try to alleviate some of the(4 of 4) issues. This has proved to be very unhealthy for me at times. I had a counselor once who tried talking to me about taking on everybody's problems. I'm such a mess. I have slowly been learning who I can talk to and who I can't. And unfortunately I had 3 friends who I had to remove from my life. The level of bad that happened with them was debilitating. I'm not going to go into all of that nastiness. Thank you for caring and understanding. I didn't know I needed that. You're so awesome.

I’m just writing Tony-centric fanfic myself these days, so I guess, I’m trying to fill the niche. ;)But maybe, I’ve just not been looking hard enough. I don’t read too much fanfiction, so I probably over-generalized about Tony being “always” like that. So it’s not too bad for me that I didn’t find any yet, you don’t need to go through any trouble for that!

Being an emotional dweeb sounds totally fine to me! And it’s surely healthier than being emotionally constipated or having anger management issues or something like that. Crying is not that bad - I’ve heard that the tears transport an abundance of hormones (happy, sad, angry, etc.) out of the body and that’s why we do it (I haven’t checked that though but I like thinking it’s true). So crying is actually a good thing and makes us more emotionally balanced!Society is pretty shitty for making us feel bad for doing it, but then, society rules are rarely practical, so what did I expect.

I know the feeling of being a burden a bit. It’s harsh…But from what you say that you’re always there for your friends even when they don’t ask for it, maybe they’re even glad if they can help you or at least listen to and be there for you when you’re down, because they also feel a bit of a burden to you? Maybe I’m projecting a bit, but I often find myself glad when a friend asks me for something because I’m a bit of an emotional freeloader.Even if they have a lot on their plate, helping you might even help them. Okay, I’m going out on a limb here, because I only know this for myself and I’m by no means a psychologist or anything, but: If I feel like my world comes crashing down and someone tells me about their problems that are unrelated to mine, and we talk about it a bit, I always feel better afterwards. A) because I’m not the only one who doesn’t get their life together and B) because even if I didn’t manage my own sh*t yet, I at least managed to listen and maybe help a bit with theirs, so I DID accomplish something. Small victories can go a long way in motivation for problem-solving!Plus, I think if it’s too much, saying “I’m sorry, I can’t even deal with my own stuff right now” is something I expect people to be able to do. I mean, it’s understandable and not rude or anything, so I don’t see why I or they shouldn’t be able to say it.

And I’m glad to hear you managed to cut people out that were bad for you. It’s a hard process, especially if you’ve never needed to do it before and don’t know that it’s gonna be worth it.I think that’s ultimately better for everybody involved. I just can’t imagine that being the bad end of a shitty relationship doesn’t make them feel at least a little guilty either. Not that that should be your concern in a case like that.I’m just saying, if you do happen to feel bad for their sake about cutting them out, then that might be something to keep in mind.

And thank you for talking to me, too!It’s not like I get nothing out of it. :) So you’re awesome yourself!