#plus I feel myself sort of withdrawing in a weird way? like. I’m present but also lagging behind my body by a full second | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

redhotarsenic · 1 year ago

Text

Ignore me I’m rambling but. I dunno. I’d LIKE to open up more to people in theory but it feels icky and gross. Logically I know I should but I also instinctively feel like I shouldn’t and I’m also not allowed to do it. Agh

#like I said the one time I ever partially opened up to my mother she flipped that back on me and made ME feel shitty cuz #HER childhood was wayyyy worse than mine #and therefore I shouldn’t feel depressed #if anything SHE should be #and I just. agh. lesson learned you know?#and now every time they ask What Is Wring With Me I can feel my brain putting a wall in front of my mouth #and I can’t say anything at all #which. I’ve been like that forever. but now it’s worse.#plus I feel myself sort of withdrawing in a weird way? like. I’m present but also lagging behind my body by a full second #becoming way less of a crybaby at least. woohoo.#less crying when I’m upset! so less of my parents pointing it out!#ugh. I don’t know why I’m saying any of this tbh #ignore me #personal

5 notes · View notes