#pls. PLS. i need joong and first to kiss on camera some day

[airenyah]

why is the behind the scenes of the heart killers only 2 mins 😭😭😭😭

[sunmoonjune]

keyboard warrior returns bc im currently rereading ltm for some healing and overall good vibes and over the days my notes just grew into this mammoth essay so what can we do 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

my shower thought when bug signs soojin is 'dead' is under what context did bug create that sign? ? like why did she need a sign for that 😔 and just in general how does she come up with signs that aren't used often like 'home' bc what i like to imagine is little yun, bug and soojin hidden away in some safe place when they have free time and just holding each others' hands so they can have little language lessons and make up signs and practice them until they remember them pls im going to combust into a billion little hearts

ch 5-6 are some of my fave chapters bc it's such a pivotal point in her relationship w some of hte members in ateez where they see for themselves the amount of trauma that bug has been through but then we also know in reality it's just the tip of the iceberg :((

bug diving to save hwa from the arrow and then hwa doing the same by covering her body with his. YES. SHOW BUG SHE'S WORTH PROTECTING. as much as i hate bug and ateez putting their bodies and lives on the line for each other daMn nothing beats this sort of angsty protectiveness. more pls 🤩🤩

literally got goosebumps when san just so naturally signed promise without realising before letting go of yun's hand. like the fact that it was just instinct for him is so so so cute

i think one of my favourite moments is when bug breaks out of her episode and signs to yun that she's tired, and he reassures her “Sleep, Tiny. I’ve got you now.” not just bc of my brainrot going 💓💓 @ yun calling me bug tiny but the amount of trust she puts into yun to take care of her whilst shes both emotionally and physically at her most vulnerable. and then we get yun carrying bug back to camp like a little baby i SWEAR SIZE DIFFERENCES MOONIE YOU'RE GONNA GIMME WHIPLASH SO BAD ONE DAY I'LL NEVER RECOVER

i love the amount of growth you can see already during bug's first episode with ateez and how GOOD they are for her bc 1) yun was able to break bug out of her episode w/o her needing to experience pain first 2) she's normally non-verbal for days after but she asked joong that very same day if she did good (OFC BUG YOU WERE THE BEST 🫶) 3) literally fell asleep to san's hushed comforts

pls when san was explaining the reason why he calls bug bug and she has the most adorable confused face that san wants to capture - i'm just imagining if ateez had access to a polaroid or some sort of camera with prints bc they would take such the CUTEST photos of each other and i can see them taking so so so many photos of bug (ofc only when she's comfortable with it bc ik she'd initially be so shy and insecure) and there would also be all these candid photos of bug looking at the other members with stars eyes and photos of the members looking at bug with heart eyes. and the reason i say polaroid or prints is bc bug will be all ?? what is this sorcery 🧐?? at first but then she'll come to have this one photo of ot9 that gets all creased and faded bc of how closely she keeps it with her all the time bc it's the most precious thing she owns and she'll literally throw hands before she lets anyone take it away from her 🥺 im so delulu rn im in love with bug

also on the note of bug's name, when san creates a symbol for her i just realised he uses a circle as part of it which i now know is 'home' and if that ain't the cutest thing 😭 idk if that was deliberate on your part but san unknowingly referring to bug as home has got me gOOD

let me send you the rest of my brainrot in a separate ask after i read through the remaining chapters bc wow this got long real fast and i was already trying to keep it short oop hope you're doing well moonie <33

AHHHHH DO YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING!! I'M IN LOVE WITH ALL YOUR ASKS OMG KISS KISS YOU'RE SO SWEET <333

no but the way I saw this long ask and your second one in my inbox and literally had to stop what I was doing and take a few minutes to read because I was SO happy omg :}} these kind of asks make my entire WEEK I swear

please continue to send your mammoth essays I reread them ALL the time cause I love them so much <33

bug already having a sign for the word 'dead' implies something that will be hinted on in the next chapter so I'm glad you've brought it up ;) also yes I think she does come up with signs for things she doesn't use very often because there might have been a time she thought there was a chance she would use them :'(

and YES that is almost exactly how I imagined them making their little language,, sometimes soojin wasn't there (you'll partially see why in the next chapter ;) ) but they kind of had to seclude themselves away from prying eyes in the darkness of night when no one would look for them,, then they kind of just held hands and came up with their little symbols and repeated them until they stuck :") it took over a year or two before they had the widespread vocabulary they have now but they got there <3

chapter five and six were definitely the climb to the tip of the iceberg for sure,, ateez got to see some of her deepest traumas -- but I don't even think we've hit the tip of the iceberg yet ;) bug's past has only been hinted at so far and soon we will see the depth of it

the protectiveness ALWAYS hits for me xD I love it when characters act purely on instinct and that instinct says to PROTECT,, it makes me weak in the knees <3

also san picking up bug's language so naturally and instinctually signing it to his partners is the CUTEST thing <3

yun bringing bug out of the dark even though it's been like a decade since they were together was a HUGE moment for them :"D he was so unsure he'd still have that effect on her but she recognized him instantly <33 also I love the size difference too <3 makes me AASDIOHAF#%#!

I think honestly part of the reason bug opened up so well after her attack was BECAUSE there was no pain to bring her out of it,, she recognized that ateez had no intentions to harm her and it helped her recover just that much more :')

OH MY GOD THE BIT ABOUT THE CAMERA -- I'M IN LITERAL TEARS :"D

they so would take so many pictures of bug if she were comfortable with it and bug ABSOLUTELY would take on of the photos of all of them and carefully keep it folded in one of her pockets or buried in one of her scabbards so it was always with her,, it would get so folded and aged and one day ateez would find it and MELT with joy that she kept it so close to her for so long,, and they would definitely manage to recreate the picture or something so she could have another copy that wasn't so worn down :")

AND she so would NEVER let anyone take that picture from her omg,, feral bug would come out fr xD

hehe bug's name absolutely was deliberate to have the word 'home' in it,, just like joong's <3 san might not have known that yet but it still makes me happy that it's part of her name even if he hadn't known <3

I hope you're doing well too my love <33 thank you so so much for such a beautiful ask omg I love you so much <3