#pls understand that i know there is a lot of strong activism coming out of groups and communities but i can’t see any strong counterculture

[evilbisexy]

do we even have countercultures today? if they do exist are they just very localized? if they don’t is it bc of how difficult it is to form/find communities or how quick capitalism consumes countercultural ideas and commodifies them? does anyone have any good sources discussing this or countercultural movements that exist today??

[writeouswriter]

pls no anti ai art demagogy on my dash, thx

(X) in reference to this reblog I assume.

This is the wildest ask I’ve ever gotten.

“Please no love for the humanity of creation on my dash, please. Please no acknowledgement that art and the human experience behind those making it is inherently and fundamentally intertwined. Please no shoving the fact in my face that art is meant to connect rather than consume.

And please no pointing out the basic truth that most AI engines are built off the stolen work of others.”

Demagogy, noun: political activity or practices that seek support by appealing to the desires and prejudices of ordinary people rather than by using rational argument.

You come into MY house, you tell me what not to reblog on MY blog, and you what? Call me “irrational” and insult my understanding of the topic in the process?

Political activity, political activity... fuck off. Actors, writers, artists, those most affected by this ARE the ordinary people, and their concerns and fears surrounding this are perfectly rational.

And you know, nothing hits it home more for me than when I thought about my favourite show at the moment, the one that makes me lose my mind a thousand times over, I thought about everything in it that makes me tick, thought about both strong points and weak points, because it is flawed, god, is it flawed because people inherently are, and that’s the beauty, but mostly, I thought about the sheer amount of care/thought and depth put into it in a way I've never really seen before and in a medium/genre/whatever you'd absolutely never expect to find that thought put into, especially if taken completely at a surface level. Thought about the levels of metaphor and symbolism layered in beneath the silliness, thought about the callbacks and clever timing, thought about the behind the scenes arguments about what direction worked best for the narrative and the audience, arguments that took place because of how much they cared not just about telling a good story, but about telling one that really means something to them.

Thought about the love, the time, the excitement and the flair and personality and background and intent of each and every person behind the team bleeding its way into the scripts, into the acting, into the heart of what makes it truly what it is, and how that love bleeds into the audience as well, how that love and human connection is what prompts people to write full page essays and analyses on it, draw fanart for it, create the most beautiful fics for it, that love is what prompts them to laugh and cry and vibrate at the speed of sound thinking about it, and what prompts thousands upon thousands to come together in their appreciation for and relation to it, rallying around it like a group of cavemen around a campfire when they had never before seen the flame.

And then.... then I thought about the idea of that same show being written by an AI and genuinely felt physically ill. Because no real care will have been put into that beyond "If it looks like a TV show, sounds like a TV show, it must be a TV show." And on the surface, maybe it’d look fine, I’m sure some people wouldn’t notice. But it’d not only be made without thought, but consumed without thought. And, sure, maybe that'll fill you up in the short term, but it's gonna leave you feeling hollow and sick eventually. Because stories are not a thing to be mass produced with a random assortment of the cheapest quality materials on a conveyor belt that shovels them directly into people's throats at the most efficient speed possible, stories are not a thing meant to just be consumed! They are a thing made with intent in every aspect, even when accidental because our lives shape it subconsciously, they are a thing made with love, a thing to be savoured! And yes, for that to happen, they will take a lot of time and hard work and dedication, all of which deserve fair compensation and respect, all of which cannot just be replaced by a sham amalgamation of these things, and they will be all the better for it.

And on some level, corporations know this, and they want you to blame their shortcomings on the writers, on the artists, they want you to look at things like the strikes and those rallying against AI and get mad that they’re keeping art from the common people, or forcing them to come to this, or they want you to think they’re simply trying to make art more accessible, all the while building their conveyor belts in the background with the blood of those they’re kicking down, taking away jobs and shoving the humanity out of the picture.

Art is made to communicate, and sometimes it’s frustrating when we can’t get that communication across, when the image we want to convey is out of our skill level, our capability, when our words get tangled up, jumbled together and we need a helping hand to find the right ones again, and on this level, maybe AI could be a useful supplemental tool, or a fun little thing to mess around with, if ethically sourced, if used for good, if taking into account and graciously acknowledging exactly how it’s being used as a tool, rather than trying to pass it off as something it’s not.

But is it political, is it irrational, to merely state that the human condition cannot be replaced?

——

The unfollow button is free, I don’t work for you.

[daphdarling]

hiii! Could i pls get a haikyu matchup?

Im 5’6”, 140lbs, with black hair that goes ip to my back. Its pretty long and sort of puffy (but not curly if that makes sense). I also have tan skin and black hair

intp, she/her. Virgo. Any gender is fine but id prefer male. Id say im more of an ambivert but lean towards introvert

im sort of quiet around people i dont know but around people i do know, im really talkative and loud.

My flaws: im kind of prideful and wont always admit im wrong. This can result in being ‘stuck up’. Id also consider myself indecisive, so when faced with many choices its hard for my to choose

I also cant hide my face, so my emotions are really visible. (If im panicking, etc) so im easy to read

a bit athletic. i do martial arts :) i used to do taekwondo but i do muay thai now

i like animes and manga (bllk, hq, mtp, apothecary diaries, sk8. Off the top of my head lol) very active in said fandoms so i read a lot of fanfic :p

in addition to liking anime and manga, i also draw on the side and write a bit. (Im unmotivated when it comes to the latter tho)

My music taste: taylor, MARINA, laufey. I dont really listen to specific artists but i do enjoy making playlists based off of ships (asheiji, mafuyuki, etc)

and thats all! Ty for doing these bc requests r rlly fun :))))

YOUR MATCHUP IS…

SUNA RINTAROU!!!

Personality Match:

Suna’s laid-back and observant demeanor aligns well with your introspective and analytical nature. Both of you share a tendency to be quiet in larger groups, but he possesses a playful side that could draw you out of your shell. Your emotional honesty would help him feel more comfortable expressing himself, creating a balanced dynamic where you can both relax and be authentic.

Romantic Connection:

Your relationship with Suna would be characterized by a deep understanding and mutual respect. He appreciates subtlety and nuance, which complements your emotional transparency. While Suna can be a bit aloof, your ability to read emotions would help bridge any gaps, allowing for meaningful conversations and a strong emotional bond. You’d enjoy sweet, understated moments that deepen your connection.

Hobbies and Activities:

You would bond over your mutual love for anime and manga, spending time discussing your favorite series or creating fan art together. Suna’s interest in volleyball would resonate with your athletic side, leading to fun training sessions or casual games. Your martial arts background could inspire him to try new physical activities, adding a layer of excitement to your time together.

Looks and Vibes:

With your long, puffy black hair and tan skin, you’d create an interesting visual dynamic with Suna’s short, tousled hair and fair complexion. This contrast would give off a unique and complementary vibe, making you a striking couple that stands out.

Final Thoughts:

Suna would bring a sense of calm and stability to your relationship, while you’d provide emotional depth and encouragement. Together, you’d explore each other’s interests and personalities, resulting in a partnership filled with quiet joy, creativity, and mutual support. Your connection would thrive on shared experiences and understanding, creating a fulfilling and meaningful relationship.

[dreamtydraw]

i gotta know more about your mc and baxter (i am never free from this man somebody help me). do they date in step 3, or just crush on each other? and the angst, pls gimme some angst >:D

oh, and do you have any headcanons about them together? :3

*slap my knee* WELL HONEY you have a BIG storm coming-

I’m a multi-shipper so Cerise has a storyline where they date and one where they were just really good friends and in both cases: Baxter was someone extremely important to Cerise.

Important context to understand: Cerise was nonverbal for almost half of her life. She has an important communication problem that actively ruin her personal life as she struggle to talk to people and so not isolate herself. Regardless of the nature their relathionship take, Baxter is extremly important to her as he's the first person she managed to befriend by herself. He came off strong and she took her chance to try talking with someone else and it ended up feeling easy around him.

They are vastly different and this is one of the main reasons they work together: They get to experience, learn and witness a new way of living life. Cerise gets to build her confidence slowly, they have an agreable moment and the dating is all new and attracting to her. She feels a lot and is in the company of someone who appreciates her and makes her come out of her shell.

You can imagine how such an impactful relationship can turn from the loveliest encounter of your summer to the most emotionally damaging event of your life.

Also worth mentioning is that in my playthrough Baxter closed the door in Cerise's face while she was bawling her eyes out on his porch... Yeah it didn't went well....

The reason why this breakup impacted Cerise so much is how some little details spiral in an endless train of negative thoughts: "If I was worth it, he would have tried" and "I am not even capable to move on from something so insignificant for him" "I feel stupid for having felt confident" "I should have known that I was not made to be around people, I can't even talk to someone properly" "I'm too much"

Cerise's self-confidence got shattered, having walked right back of all the effort she managed to make and her mutism coming back into her daily life. It only took one conversation to ruin an entire process of self grow.

The reunion was a painful one and here is where I call my phase the: Baxter pain and regret.

Just imagine for a second, you are so miserable because of your own choices, you left someone who loved you by convincing yourself they'll move on and 5 years later when you meet them again they are a shell. You hurted them so much that to this days your presence haunted them, the person you loves because of their positivity, their smile and bright kindness are now dull, sad and scared. The regret of it all and the pain of wanting to ask why, to wanting to help but also desperetly not wanting to furter implicate yourself while they still look at you with hope. How much would it hurt you to be given a chance even after all you destroyed ? After all the joy you denied for both of you and with all the regrets of have spent so much time in your selfish perception of the world. It would sting and that something that can never dissapear, even if she's back, even if you try again, even if you make progress, you simply can't make up for what you caused and it hunt you at night. You always been loved, you always loved them, and like a fool you reciprocate those feelings by doing the opposite of what love is suppose to be.

NOW THAT ANGST HAVE PASSED- Here is some cute dating headcanon I have of these two :D

Oh and one last sad stuff :

Cerise cut and dyed her hair because Baxter used to say he liked her long orange hair and the compliment felt so bittersweet that she couldn't stand seeing herself in the mirror...

ANYWHOOZIE

-Cerise likes jewelry and likes to make colorful jewelry so she wanted to make bracelets for Baxter. One colorful green to keep as a souvenir and one black and white.

-Still on jewelry, they traded. In exchange for a bracelet, he gave her some rings of his (that she kept wearing for the 5 years )

-They kissed in the car watching the firework because Cerise doesn't like loud noises

-Cerise doesn’t like sudden louse noise but had fun listening to Baxter’s music during some car rides.

-Because she can’t drive she asked him to pick her up or give her a ride to some stores just to have some time with him.

-They met at the cypres during the "soirée" moment and this fun fact always makes them laugh, life sure like them together.

-Fear of the ocean vs Fear of height, both are here to help the other fight against their fear with a little help

-Cerise gave Baxter a glass shot as a souvenir and he only once drank in it alone but was too scared to break it so he kept it hidden.

-I have this hc that once they get married ( because yes they will ) Baxter has a picture of her somewhere in his office and if someone asks "Are you married ?" he just pull up the pic of his very colorfull and and cheerful wife so people look at him confuse

you married a rainbow ?!

-Everyone had their moment of "don't ever hurt her again" with Baxter but the worst one was Liz who profaned murder hunt if he did.

-Still, Baxter got accepted nicely back into the family.

-Cerise's services as a photographer got added to Baxter's wedding contact of people he can recommend and they at least worked on some weddings together.

-Neither of them are morning people, but they spend a lot of their nights hanging out and simply talking until late.

-Some dinner nights they take a detour to dance a bit on the side near the beach

-Travel around the world travel around the world! Cerise has some nice vacation places she wants to do with Baxter and they sometimes need some calm time.

-They just love each other, 5 years are nothing compared to the rest they spent together

THANKS YOU FOR READING THIS FAR

[noxtivagus]

hello, lune!!! sliding into your inbox bcs i felt bad if you were the only one who have done such actions. let me do the same as well!! how are you? i hope you are doing fine these days. i have read your posts and sometimes, i worry a lot about you. because, funny to say but i see myself in you. whenever i read what you have to say in your rambles, sometimes i, too, have felt the same way as you did. it pains me to see you in such state so i hope my words can somehow bring you a bit of comfort in your life (*´ω｀*)❤️ it may not be much, it may not help you even the slightest bit but that's alright. at least i tried, if it doesn't work then i'll think of another method to cheer you up and make you feel less sad. to make you feel less suffocated by your thoughts. i hope to whisk away the raining cloud in your head.

i'm glad that you have ffxiv as your coping mechanism. it's always good to have a healthy way of coping around!! i'm sure the game bought you sm comfort and i'm glad that it helped you a lot in your life. video games sure do bring joy in our lives, noh? they are indeed very special to us. i hope you aren't forcing yourself and overworking too much in school! ik that the ph school system is pretty shitty and all but always do remember to look after yourself and don't neglect your own well-being!! using fiction as an escape is good, it's alright to have some sort of distraction from suffocating thoughts. sometimes, it's alright to step down and shut ourselves from the outside world. being isolated from reality is not always a bad thing. there are times where it gets overwhelming and so suffocating so it's okay to distract yourself from it.

being trapped in your mind and binded by the past is indeed a scary thing, yk? i once have been in the same situation, even until now if i were to be honest. it's hard, sometimes you felt like you are on the edge of the steep cliff but i'm sure one day, there shall be a time where you break free from the shackles that chained you down and spread your wings and be free from those that bind you down. you are a very strong person, lune. one of the strongest i've ever met and i'm very proud of you for that.

indeed, the nostalgia you felt, the memories, and the past are the sole proof that you are alive— that you are human and you exist. that you have a mark in society. it's only natural that these mean so much to you. these experiences are part of pur nature as humans. the concept of humanity and reality is indeed confusing. sometimes, you feel your sense of those two slipping away. are we real? are we even human? what is our purpose in life? do we really have to play a role in society? is it possible to understand myself? can people understood me for who i am? is that what i can truly do? do we get an answer for these thoughts? maybe? or maybe not.

the pain you carry is the proof that you are human. you are very much alive. after all, humans cannot be called humans without the concept of pain and suffering. we feel to make us alive and pain is one of those aspect that makes us human. these emotions help us grow and after all, there is a saying that we learn from our mistakes, right? the same applies to pain and suffering. you deserve kindness that you give to others and i hope i can give you that, even the slightest bit of kindness that you gave to me. you made me feel less lonely here at tumblr— a platform where i have no idea where to start or what to do and i'm all alone because my friends don't have this site. i hope i could return the kindness and warmth you gave me one day. humans often get lost and confused, there are times where we get sidetracked. times where we just stop at our tracks and be stuck in one point in life but nonetheless, that's part as our traits as humans.

you are pretty young, lune. it makes me funny to say this as we are both practically in the same age range but!! you should enjoy your life to the fullest. do the things you love and the things you are passionate about. don't let these thoughts hinder you down. i believe that man cannot truly achieve something if they let the negative aspect of emotions become obstacles in their life. i like the way you are thinking, such a good mindset indeed. i aspire to have one similar to yours. it makes me glad that despite your situation, you never let these bring you down but instead look at the brigther picture. indeed, change doesn't come overnight but as long as you take small steps one at a time, you shall become a better and a newer version of yourself.

you are truly, and really a wonderful person. i admire you for that. i hope you have a pleasant evening ahead. do dream of sweet and nice dreams. i'm sorry if this gotten long but i really wanted to say a lot!!! no need to respond to this ask as long as i get to deliver the words i want you to hear.

YORI IM CRYING HFJDASLKFD there's so much i want to write back but i'm genuinely at a loss for words. i hope this is enough for now to let you know how thankful i am.

[yesimwriting]

To Be Alone

VAGUE SPOILER WARNING FOR SHADOW AND BONE BOOK SERIES-- I try hard not to mention why the Darkling/General Kirigan is the bad guy so that I don’t spoil anything,, but the reader finds out that he lies about his identity and that he’s super sketchy/not a good guy (again,, I avoided as many specifics as possible to keep it from being spoiler-y)

Warnings: lowkey manipulation, kissing/makeout, slight fingering

A/n y’all drove me to this lol,, pls be nice!! This is the closest to full on smut I’ve ever written!! Ahh I’m lowkey scared to post

Summary: the reader finds out something about the Darkling/General Kirigan, he finds a way to convince her to stay 

--

No amount of evidence will ever be enough to convince me fully. A part of me will always hold onto unjustifiable doubt because a part of me hopes that if I hold onto the lies tight enough they’ll turn into the truth. But that’s not how the world works. 

General Kirigan. Ravka put its faith in him. I put my faith in him. I did more than that. I pushed aside my reservations and doubt in order to try and comfort him when he spoke of loneliness. Was all that a lie as well? 

No. I can’t afford to think of the emotional side of it all, because if I do I may find myself incapable of moving from this spot. I don’t have time to reflect on it all, to try and unravel hopeful lies and manipulative truths. That can be done when I’m not here. If I stay here, he’ll know I know and he’ll stop me from...what? What am I supposed to do next? I could find someone with some level of power to warn. 

“There you are.” Kirigan. I’m turned towards the window, not facing him, but there is no weariness or malice in his voice. He has no reason to suspect my suspicion. “Are you unwell?” 

Calm. I need to pass as calm. Not turning, I force myself to ignore the endearing hint of concern in his voice. “No.” I can hear his measured footsteps. “Why would you think that?” 

“I haven’t seen you all day,” he’s directly behind me now. If I turn, I’ll practically be against his chest. “And you didn’t come see me last night.” 

Oh. I knew it was a mistake to begin to pull on such a small thread so close to when he expected to see me, but it kept gnawing on me. That doubt. That tiny thing I couldn’t ever let go off. “I fell asleep.” No--I cringe at my impulsive response. He knows how difficult it is for me to fall asleep. “Yesterday was just really...draining.” 

In an easy movement, he places his hand on my shoulder. It’s a silent request for me to turn. Exhaling, I obey. Why? I could lie to myself and say that I’m listening to him in order to kill his suspicions, but the effect he has on me is undeniable. Even before touching each other became a casual thing on his part, my body wanted to react to him. 

He’s quick to cup my face, tilting my chin up slightly so that I can’t avoid his gaze. “What troubles you, little dove?” A nickname for when he’s feeling particularly gentle. Thoughts of the evil he has to be twist my stomach as my face flushes. Kirigan’s thumb brushes over the corner of my bottom lip, stalling as I fight the urge to melt into the contact. I meet his tense gaze cautiously. “You said nothing could make you look at me differently.” No. There’s no way he figured out my change with one look alone. I’ll deny it. I’ll do what I need to do to be convincing, and then I’ll manage to escape. His grip on my shoulder tightens. “Don’t you dare lie to me again.” 

The urge to snap and point out the sick irony of him telling me not to lie at him almost forces me to break. His gaze starts to shift away from me--towards the half packed escape bag I’d been in the middle of constructing. I stretch my arms forward, desperate to keep his gaze on me and away from what I can’t explain. 

Kirigan’s free hand moves to pull my hand off of his cheek, but he pauses, eyes shutting in peaceful contentment. “What do you know?” 

I expected his words to be angry, to border on violent...but he just sounds tired. Please, Saints, let me be wrong. “Is there anything to know?” The only reaction I get is the slightest stall of his breathing. “You said you didn’t want to be alone anymo--” 

“I don’t.” The harshness of his words almost coax a small flinch from me. 

Swallowing back the knot in my stomach, I exhale slowly. “A part of not being alone is being honest.” 

His eyes finally open. I don’t dare move as he moves my hand off of his cheek so that he can brush his lips against my knuckles. I suppress an embarrassing shudder. “You wouldn’t have stayed--if you knew you wouldn’t ha--” 

No denial. I can’t--I can’t do this. “You know what the worst part is?” I can’t believe I’m about to say this. I can’t believe it’s true. “I might have.” Those words break something in me as I force myself away from him. The lack of contact leaves me more frozen than ever. “I might have! I might have been able to bear all the monstrous things you’ve done if you had just--” 

“What?!” He meets my outburst with one of equal power. “You might have stayed regardless?” The way he scoffs leaves me feeling like a wandering child. “You might have still looked at me like I hung the stars in the sky instead of like I’m the darkness they fight against?” I stay silent as he steps forward, quick to hold my chin in place with his long fingers. “I couldn’t risk you on possibility.” Kirigan’s gaze is so intense, a part of me is surprised that shadows don’t come at me--drowning me in darkness and him. “And don’t think me foolish enough to believe that someone like you would understand that I have to do what I’m doing--” 

“Have to?” No--how did I almost let him lure me back in so easily. I pull myself away, approaching my open wardrobe. “That’s not past tense.” He’s still--he’s still actively hurting people. Why had I been so stupidly naive to think that maybe this was all history? “I--I can’t do this.” 

Each step towards the exit of the room chips away at a piece of my soul. “You’re not walking away from me,” his strong grip is on my arm in a sharp instinct, “I won’t--I can’t be alone again.” 

I swallow back the lump of emotion in my throat. “You already are.” 

His eyes are pleading, pools of frightened adoration. “No--no,” he steps towards me, not releasing his grip on my arm, “You’re hurt that I lied, but now I’ll never have to lie to you again.” I push against his grip. Kirigan doesn’t release me. “Y/n,” my name is a lament from his lips, “Please.” 

My eyes round out as my heart leaps into my chest. “I used to think that you were only touched by the darkness, but now I’m not sure you can tell where the darkness ends and you begin.” His grip just barely falters. Maybe it’s acceptance. 

I shift weakly, a softer attempt to escape. His grip tightens even more than before as he tugs me forward. The reminder of his physical strength leaves me frozen in shock. I can’t read his expression, but something about him has darkened. When I don’t pull away again, his thumb brushes up and down my forearm. The silkiness of his touch is warm temptation. I inhale slowly as he moves his other arm in order to touch my shoulder. The contact is almost shy. 

“Kirigan,” my voice betrays me, breaking as his fingers trace down my collar, “What--what are you doing?” 

He tilts his head, taking in the way his touch rids my body of fight. “Nothing, really.” His voice is low, supple in its assuredness. “You’re the only person who has ever seen me--and for you to leave me after that.” 

“No,” I try to step back, but my body freezes as he toys with the collar of my dress, “What I saw--what I found out--that wasn’t you.” 

“It’s who I have to make myself be,” he whispers, “I’m doing what needs to be done.” 

“That logic can earn you a lot,” my words are careful, “But it cannot earn you me.” 

His hand brushes past my neck, finding the root of my hair. Kirigan pulls on it slightly, forcing me to expose my lower jaw and neck. I’m still as he leans forward, warm breath fanning across my skin. I fight against a shiver in vain as his lips brush down my skin, only stopping as he nips the base of my neck. I can’t help the small sound of surprise that escapes me. 

“Are you sure about that?” Blood rushes to my face, motivated by both embarrassment and something else. “Little dove, don’t ruin us.” His touch is warm, but his words leave me with an uncomfortable chill. In an attempt to escape the coldness, I half-press myself into the trail of soft and desperate kisses he’s leaving down my neck.

Kirigan pauses, exhaling slowly, and I feel some mental strength return to me. “There can’t be an us--not like this.” 

“Y/n.” He never uses my name. “You are the only light I know.” His words steal something from me as he pulls away enough to look me in the eyes. “I can’t handle the weight of solitude anymore--it’s worse than the dark.”

 I am unflinching, watching him with a markman’s care. Kirigan takes my silence as a positive. I don’t move as his gaze drops to my lips before he presses his own together. I don’t move as he destroys the distance between us like it’s some type of unbearable weight. His lips meet mine with enough force to bruise my face. The surprise of it gives him the chance to coax my lips into parting as his hands move to either side of my face. My body reacts without my permission, letting him deepen the kiss. Every time I find some kind of free will, Kirigan pushes it away with some kind of tactful lull of his tongue. Keeping his control, Kirigan ends the kiss by grazing sharp teeth against my bottom lip. 

I’m left panting. “You’re--you lied, Kirigan--I--” 

“You told me once you could never see me as a monster.”

“I said that to a version of you that technically doesn’t exist.” 

The grief in my chest and desire in my stomach twist in a nauseating way. Kirigan’s eyes watch me patiently, a pain similar to my own reflected in them. “Who I am when I’m with you is less fictitious than any identity I’ve ever given myself.”

The vulnerability in his voice is as alluring and distracting as the kiss. I find myself thinking of the warmth of his mouth against my skin. He had kissed me like the cure for ancient solitude could come from me. I think he had a point, because now that he’s not touching me in that way I feel the familiar tugs of cold emptiness. 

“I don’t understa--” My words are cut off by his lips brushing against mine. 

His touch is soft, but it’s far from shy as he draws out the kiss. It’s an attempt to keep me on edge, to keep me wanting him enough to push past my doubts. “Y/n,” there’s a reverent quality to his voice, “I--” Kirigan grabs the collar of my dress, pulling me to him sharply. His kiss conveys things that neither of us truly understand. “Don’t go.” 

I don’t want to. The realization is a cruel wave crashing against my chest. “You lie to everyone, you lie to me--you--you hurt and destroy and I--” One of his hands brushes against the hem of my dress. “What are you,” the words are supposed to be sharp, but my resolve melts as his hand presses firmly against my thigh, “Doing?” 

“You know me,” he draws out each word as his fingers graze towards the inside of my thighs. The cool metal of his rings are practically ice against my flushed skin. “Little dove, trust me.” 

My nails dig into my palms as I try to ignore what he’s doing. “I did and you betrayed me.” 

“I couldn’t lose you,” he whispers, thumb inching up my inner thigh.

I press my lips together, fighting against a natural reaction. “You did lose me.” 

Kirigan’s eyes darken as his grip on my thigh tightens. “We’ll move past this.” He’s both pleading and assured. “I think I know how to make it up to you.” He trails his hand up my thigh swiftly, stopping with his hand on my lower hip. Shamelessly, he toys with the hem of my underwear. “The only thing that’s really changed is that now I’m touching you like this.” 

The only thing I can do is gape at him. He’s a villain, his hands are coated in unnecessarily spilled blood, and I am helpless against his slightest touch. I should try pushing him away or at the very least resist his blatant advantages. His fingers brush down my underwear, stopping at a growing wet spot. The knowing look he gives me burns my core. I try to keep my expression hard in a final form of protest, but when he presses his pointer finger against me all the resolve in me is shattered. 

My eyebrows draw together as a small sound escapes me, “Kirigan.” I can’t tell if it’s praise or a warning. 

He pauses, hand retracting slightly at my whining. “Y/n,” his other hand cups my cheek. I lean into the contact without permission from my body. “There is only one name that I have not given myself and only one name I want to hear you breathe like that.” His thumb traces my lips softly. I don’t move as he leans forward, turning his lips towards my ear. 

“Aleksander.” His name is nothing more than a breath, a stolen heartbeat on his lips. 

He presses his fingers against where I’m the weakest again. My hips grind forward instinctually, desperate for more contact as he kisses the top of my jaw. 

“Aleksander.” The name escapes me in the form of a broken moan. Speaking it feels more intimate than the way he’s touching me. 

There’s the slightest pause in his consuming actions. “Again,” he breathes, “Say my name again.” His request is so soft it feels like he’s more at my mercy than I am at his. 

My eyes shut as his teeth graze my neck. “Aleksander.” At the sound of his name, his teeth brush against my skin harder than ever. 

When he starts to pull away, I reach out desperately, grabbing his kefta. “I thought you wanted to leave, little dove.” 

No. No. He is not going to get me to agree to stay by giving me something as intimate as his original name and by denying me his touch. “Please.” 

He reaches for my hand, pulling it off of him cruelly. “Do you want to stay with me?” 

I know which answer will get me what I really want, but I’m not sure which answer is true. Do I want to stay with him? Even after knowing what he’s done? “I don’t want to leave you.” The vulnerability of the statement cracks at my heart. He turns away from me in order to face the wall. I take a tentative step towards. “But I’m not sure what I want matters.” 

In one quick motion, he’s yanking more forward and pressing me into the wall. “Of course desire matters,” his body is pressed against mine almost entirely, “It means something.” He brushes his knuckles against my cheek. “It means you could choose me.” 

What could I say to that? I part my lips to speak but he silences me by pressing his lips against my jaw. I offer no protest as he starts touching me the way he did earlier. I’m more desperate now, more needy and okay with that. His fingers slip past my underwear testingly, hesitating before finally entering me slowly. 

“Aleksander,” my voice is so needy I’m not sure it’s my own. 

“I want you to say my name like that again,” he whispers, kissing down my collarbone as he begins to press his fingers in and out of me faster, “And I want you to say my name casually,” his pace doesn’t slow, even when I begin to let out indistinguishable whines, “And I want you to say my name while you’re falling asleep,” his touch becomes more aggressive as his words become more sincere, “And I want you to say my name every other way there is to say it.” 

The bundle of nerves in the pit of my stomach grows until there’s nothing else for me to hold onto. I finish with a sharp gasp. The feeling of euphoria is only intensified as Aleksander begins to kiss up my jaw before finally pressing our lips together. 

I break the kiss first, desperate to breathe. Have my legs been so shaky this entire time? Aleksander lets me recover, resting his head against my forehead. “I’m tired of being alone.” 

I imagine all the foul acts he’s committed and all the bad he wants to bring. I picture all the innocent blood he’s spilled. I see all of it--every horror and dark deed he’s ever committed. But I cannot see me leaving him. Maybe that makes me a monster, maybe that makes me an idiot...but I can’t do it. 

Slowly, I move to drape my arms over his back in a loose hug. “You’re not alone, Aleksander.” I’m not sure what that signifies, but I know it’s true. There has to be good in him. No one capable of such warmth can be pure evil. “I choose you.” 

[miekasa]

six thirty

+ pairing: armin arlert x (fem) reader

+ genres and warnings: college au, enemies to lovers… kinda… in a very nerdy academic rivalry kind of way, me being a comedian you’re welcome, fluff, smut/nsfw content

+ word count: 5.6k… pls say sike

+ notes: shout out to ryn​​ for listening to me during our very many rambling sessions and also for extorting me into posting this. consider it a late birthday present for my favorite menace </2

+ side notes: no i am not a part of armin nation and i never want to be, nor do i wish speak of this again.

Armin Arlert is the perfect student. Prompt and well prepared during lecture; smart and insightful during office hours; the apple of any teacher’s eye. Unfortunately for him, so are you.

If you asked Armin, you were a little too clever for your own good, and liked to make it very well known that you believe you’re the smartest person in any room you walk into. That may be true, but it doesn’t mean that he has to sit there and worship your superiority complex. 

If someone asked you, you’d say that Armin was a know it all, and a manipulative little piece of shit. Again, not a completely false statement, but perhaps a slightly biased character analysis.

Neither of you are wrong. It’s why you’re both the bane of each other’s existence.  

There’s a noticeable grimace on your face, chin in your palm, elbows resting atop your desk, as you turn your head to where, sure enough, Armin is seated where he always is: first row, right side, directly in front of the podium, like perfect little teacher’s pet he wants to be. He doesn’t have any books to unpack like everybody else because a shiny, blue iPad is propped up on his desk in place of all of that. He’s robably looking through his pre-written list of showboaty questions to ask during lecture. Like he’s a cut above everyone else.  

Maybe some of the other morons in this course, but not you, that’s for damn sure. You bet that if you broke his thousand dollar tablet he wouldn’t think he’s such hot shit anymore. Maybe that would knock him down a couple of pegs.

“Look at him sitting there with his stupid blue eyes, and his stupid Bieber haircut, and his stupid, shiny blonde hair, and his stupid fucking glasses. I bet they’re not even real and he just wears them to—”

“Did you just call his hair shiny?”

You snap your head to your left, “What—no, of course not. I said shoddy, he’s probably a bottle blonde. Maybe all the chemicals from the hair dye seeps into his head and warps his sense of reality.”

“I’m pretty sure you said shiny.”

“Shut up, Annie.”

She raises an eyebrow at you, “You got something against blondes? Because your track record would beg to differ.”

“Once. We kissed once, and it was truth or dare, and we were both sloshed.”

“You still chose me,” she reminds you, pulling her notebook out of her backpack.

You huff, ignoring her words and turning your head back to Armin, this time finding him twirling his stupid fucking expensive Apple Pencil between his fingers like it’s nothing. You can feel your eye begin to twitch.

Perhaps he can, too—or maybe he can just feel your eyes boring holes into him—because he turns in your direction and ceases his pen twirling the moment you make eye-contact. More students filter in, walking past your line of vision, but each time they move, you and Armin meet gazes again; neither one of you daring to look away, a palpable tension between you.

His eyes might be icy blue, but you can see the rose pink tint underneath his skin, even from the distance; a familiar blush that spreads across his nose and cheeks. You exhale with a silent laugh, breaking your eye contact before he grows completely red, just in time for Dr. Zöe to start the lecture.

Everybody thinks that Armin’s so brilliant, so smart, so untouchable. You know that his only genius is that he’s fooling everyone into thinking that he’s the kind, humble, little nerd boy who wouldn’t harm a fly, when that’s far from the truth.

Armin is mean. He’s competitive and possessive and snarky and sly. He’s the definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but you’re pretty sure the only person in the world who might believe that is Eren. Though, you’ve heard some of the insults Armin throws Eren’s way, and they’re not exactly soft. Granted, that’s a factor in any friendship, and most of his jabs are coated with a layer of intellect the brunette likely doesn’t understand, but that doesn’t make Armin any less sarcastic. It just means Eren’s too dumb to know what’s going on.

Poor kid. Maybe it’s for the best.

That’s all to say that Armin is nothing but a big talker—not even; a smooth-talker, is more like it. He comes across as perfect, all good and sweet and soft, because that’s what he lets people see. Nobody else looks through to the sharp tongue and ragged edges, because they’re too busy cooing over innocent blue-eyed baby in front of them.

But you know that Armin, the one he doesn’t want other people to see: the one that’s so good, he’s bad; so sweet that he’s sick; so nice that it’s cruel. And you know just how much pressure to apply to make his façade crack.

And you intend on doing so.

“I don’t know which formula to use—hey, are you two eye fucking again? Cut it out, I’m trying not to fail over here,” Eren exclaims, poking Armin’s shoulder with his pen.

The jab averts the blonde’s attention back to his friend, eyes wide as he blinks himself back to reality. He curses under his breath when he feels a familiar warmth creeping across his cheeks. Few things piss Armin off like the way he gets red in the face after thinking about you, or even just looking at you, for too long. Whether it’s red out of pure annoyance, or another feeling he tries to push down, it’s irritating, and above all, embarrassing.

He spares one more glance over his shoulder, to where you and Annie are sat a few tables away in the library. You’ve looked away by now, focusing back on your notes, but Armin swears he can still see that irritating smirk on your face from this angle.

He rolls his tongue along the inside of his cheek. He should be able to keep it together around you by now, but he can’t, and it bothers him. You bother him.

“We weren’t eye fucking,” he refutes, turning his back to you completely, “She’s such a little know it all sometimes, s’annoying.”

Eren raises an eyebrow. He knows that you and Armin don’t get along, but he doesn’t understand why. Armin knows almost all your friends, and you definitely know all of his—Eren would even go as far as to say that you and him are pretty close friends—so it’s not a matter of not spending time together. You’re also the two smartest people Eren knows. In theory you should have more than enough to talk about together, but every time you’re in the same room, you hardly acknowledge each other outside of surface level commentary, or glances that border on staring.

Thankfully, the bickering remains in the classroom for the most part. Eren’s seen you and Armin go at, and he’ll be the first to admit that it’s beyond intimidating. Though, a little part of him finds it oddly entertaining, and he can’t help but to be impressed. All the more reason for you two to start playing on the same team. 

Eren thinks the two of you should get to the root of the issue already. Which, if you asked him, has very little to do with your rivaled academic genius, and a lot to do with your lack of it concerning your feelings for each other.

“She’s not that bad,” Eren vouches for you, “I think you two might get along if you ever spoke outside of trying to one-up each other in class.”

“I’m not trying to one-up anybody,” Armin rolls his eyes, a nasty habit he’s picked up as of late, “And if you stopped and used your brain for a moment, then maybe you could solve the problem.”

“I did use my brain!” Eren’s lips fall into an offended pout, “But none of this makes any sense to me! I fucking hate math, you know that.”

Armin sighs, feeling sympathetic for Eren as he slumps into himself defeatedly. He knows that Eren isn’t dumb, but math in any capacity is certainly not his strong suit. He also knows that he shouldn’t give Eren all the answers, but sometimes he needs a little push to get him there. A little bit of added guidance and motivation to keep him going. It’s either that, or he has to trick Eren into doing the work himself, but clearly that method wasn’t working out today.

“You already solved for the activation energy, now you’re supposed to use the Arrhenius equation in the expanded form.”

Eren’s lips fall into a small o-shape, as his eyes scramble across his paper again. “But—how do you—”

“There’s two measurements given for temperature.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah! Okay, right, but then—”

“You have to convert it to Kelvin first or it won’t work. It’s given to you in Celsius.”

Eren furrows his eyebrows together, and then it finally clicks for him. He mutters to himself as he puts his pencil to paper to begin to work through the problem, “How do I convert—”

“Add 273.15 to it. Make sure you put the bigger one first in the equation, or else you’ll get a negative error.”

“You didn’t even do it,” Eren huffs, angrily punching numbers into his calculator, “How do you know it’s right?”

“Because I took this class already,” Armin reminds him, sparing a brief glance over his shoulder, “Isn’t that why I’m tutoring you?”

Eren coughs over his embarrassed blush, “Oh, yeah, right.”

It’s quiet between them as Eren makes a final attempt at solving the equation, carefully and proudly circling his answer when he’s finished. He looks to Armin with bright eyes, and is content when the blonde gives him a reassuring nod, confirming that his answer is correct.

“Well that was a bitch to work through,” Eren sighs, stretching his arms behind his head with a slight yawn, “Chemistry is nothing but glorified math. It’s barely a science.”

Armin shrugs, but he doesn’t disagree. He isn’t the biggest fan of chemistry, unlike somebody else he knows. “Why’d you take chem if you knew it would have so much math?”

It’s Eren’s turn to shrug, slumping back in his chair and running a hand through his hair, “I gotta take all the pre-med requirements… just in case.”

“You wanna go to med school? Since when?”

Eren averts his eyes from his friend, a telltale sign of his bashfulness coming over him. It doesn’t happen often, but Armin knows it’s sincere when it does.

“Dunno. I’m not sure of it, just wanna keep my options open, you know?” Eren replies casually, “Doctors help make a difference and all that, and surgery looks kind of cool. Besides, if my bastard father could do it, how hard could it really be?”  

A gentle smile grows on Armin’s lips, “You can do it. If you really want to, I know you can.”  

Eren’s head snaps up, eyes wide and filled with affirmation and adoration. He relaxes his expression quickly after, but the pink hues are still present, “Thanks, Min.”

From his position he catches eye of another head of familiar blonde hair over Armin’s shoulder, and beside it, your own hair. There’s a flash of a moment when your eyes meet Eren’s, and you offer him a small wave before turning back to Annie to resume doing your homework. Eren barely gets the chance to wave back, but a dopey smile sits on his features at your kind gesture. It fades when he looks back to Armin, once again pondering the animosity between you two.

You and Armin aren’t all that different, you just need to get to know each other better. Actually, Eren thinks that you might make a good couple if you both stopped overthinking it.

“So, what’s the deal with you and (_____)?” Eren asks, bending his right knee to wrap his arm around his leg and rest his chin on top of it, “You act like she kicked your cat.”

“What?” Armin questions, flustered, “What—no, she wouldn’t touch Soup.” 

Eren quirks an eyebrow at that. “I still can’t believe you named your cat Soup.”

“It’s technically a nickname.”

“A nickname for what?”

“…For Miso Soup.”

Eren blinks. “Okay, if she didn’t mess with Soup, then what’s the issue? You scared of her or something?”

“Why would I be scared of her?” Armin asks, tone incredulous; then softer, more subdued, like a kid who doesn’t want to admit they’re wrong, “’M not scared of her.”

“You stare at her like you are—well, you look kind of angry, but also scared. Like, when you see those balloon things outside of car washes. You hate them, but you can’t look away from them—”

“I am not scared of those!”

“You are, and it’s okay,” Eren waves away his friend’s denial, “Oh, I get it—is this one of those things where she makes you nervous, so you respond with anger and sarcasm instead of thinking through your feelings?”

“You’ve been going to therapy for one month, relax.”

“Maybe you two should go to friend therapy and work this out,” Eren bites back, “It probably doesn’t help that she’s always with Annie. They both look like they would murder someone with no remorse. I admit, it is kind of scary… but it’s kind of hot, too.”

Armin spares him an unamused glare. Eren crosses his arms in defense, “What? I’m not wrong. It’s sexy in a scary kind of way, maybe that’s why you’re always eye fucking. I don’t blame you, she’s hot. I would let her and Annie axe-murder me without regret.”

“Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and do problem six, I don’t have all day.”

Eren huffs, but flips the page to the next problem, grumbling under his breath as he attempts the, “It’s not as sexy when you’re mean, you know.”

Armin hits him silent.

Tuesdays are Armin’s favorite days because he only has one class. Sure, it’s three hours long, but it’s much more bearable than his usual eight-hour day.

It’s also the one class he shares with you. Which is why he’s always mentally exhausted by the end of it, but physically, he feels like he could punch a wall; all his pent up anger and frustration is channeled into his body and he’s desperate for an outlet for it. It’s a feeling he hates to love.

Annie seems to have cut class today seeing as she’s not next to you; and it’s almost as if it’s emboldened you to mess with him even more than usual.

He bites his tongue as Dr. Zöe enthusiastically uses your latest point as a segue into the final topic of the evening. He made that same point ten minutes ago. You just worded it differently—admittedly, more concisely, but somehow with a little more nuance, than when he had hesitantly proposed it—and, yeah, maybe you made it sound more convincing, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t come up with it first. If his stupid, fancy stylus didn’t cost upwards of $200 he might have snapped it in half.

You’re definitely the better conversationalist, that much he can admit. Words have never been his forte and he hates the way you can talk circles around him, and that there’s so little he can say to make you stop.

He wishes you would just shut up. In fact, he’d like to shut you up himself.

Thankfully, class ends sooner rather than later. Armin finds himself briefly talking with Dr. Zöe afterwards, most other students having taken the opportunity to leave early for the night. To nobody’s surprise, you’re not one of them, having stuck around to talk to the professor, too.

“The two of you should consider lab research this summer,” Dr. Zöe suggests ardently, walking between the two of you as you exit the lecture hall, “I could really use two students like you!”

Armin chuckles at his boisterous professor. He’s known about the research opportunities at their lab for quite some time now, and he knows that you have, too. “I don’t know that lab work is really my strong suit.”

The three of you come to stop at the hallway intersection, the professor now standing across from you and him. You give them a polite smile, “And I’m not sure that collaboration is mine.”

Armin spares a glance just in time to see you flash one of your own in his direction. Dr. Zöe’s eyes flicker between the two students rapidly, a slight squint to their eyelids.

They aren’t quite sure why their two brightest students seem to despise each other. They wish you two would just get along already, so that they don’t have to spend the summer training half-witted chemical engineering majors how to use basic lab equipment; and instead, conduct some actual research.

“Well, I hope the both of you reconsider,” they smile, “I’ll see you during office hours, I presume?”

You two nod in sync, sending the doctor off with happy smile, just long enough until you see that they’ve turned the corner further down the hall

“Had fun stealing my point earlier?” Armin questions, looking your way as you still wave mindlessly, eye-twitching at your polite façade.

“I would call it improvement,” you tell him, not bothering to turn in his direction; still and smiling waving like the professor can see or hear you, “You should stick to showing, rather than saying. You never were good with your words.”

Armin kisses his teeth together. He’ll give you what you want, if that’s how you want it.

In a fit of irritation, he grabs your moving hand by the wrist, and pulls you down the opposite hallway, not caring for your dramatic wailing behind him.

“Hey, Einstein, the exit is the other way, do you have any idea where we’re going?”

“Ever heard of observational learning? Maybe if you shut up for a second, you would figure it out,” he snaps, pulling you further.

There’s a door on the left that Armin knows is unlocked, and he’s quick to open it and pull you inside. Before you have the chance to glance around, he has you pushed up against the wall, jaw forced up and forward.

He could scoff at the small hitch in your breath at his actions, clearly a little too satisfied with being manhandled; but instead, he takes the opportunity to press your lips together. Armin quite likes the feeling of your lips on his; warm and soft and far too welcoming; a rare moment of silence.

“Someone could hear us.”

Or not so silent.

“Then be quiet,” he snarls.

Armin feels your fingers weave themselves into his hair, scraping along his undercut in sync with his lips trailing down your jaw. A groan falls from his when he feels you tug at the ends of the strands, just hard enough to force his face back to eye level with yours.

“You’re the one with the big mouth.”

“You’re so smart, huh. Always got something to say,” Armin lets out a low chuckle, deft fingers running down your sides to squeeze at your waist, “You can be really fuckin’ annoying, you know that.”

You mirror half of his ministrations, letting your right hand trail down his chest barely brushing over the very visible bulge in his jeans, before hooking your index finger under the belt loop, effectively pulling him closer to you.

The smile on your face is dirty, but you’re not laughing like he was, “Do something about it then.”

His blue eyes grow cloudy as he takes a good look at you; slowly rakes over your features, from that stupid, snarky look in your eyes, to your kiss-bruised lips, down to your chest, and back up again. Armin finds himself copying your smirk for all the wrong reasons. But it’s your own fault; you always did like to push him one step over the edge.

“Fine.”

Despite your twisted grin there’s a look in your eyes that’s eager; willing; ready for the taking. That same look you have when you talk over him in class; when you pretend to ignore him around your mutual friends; when you want him to fuck you stupid.

Armin uses his right hand to cup your jaw again, closing the distance between your mouths with a less than gentle kiss. He feels your groans reverberating through his body, waves of heat accompanying them and going straight to his erection. Your arch your back into the kiss, but he forces you backwards, left hand flat against your tummy.

Following suit, he pushes himself against your body, pressing his knee between your legs; the thin fabric of your stockings doing little to prevent your thighs from rubbing against him.

He swipes his tongue over the seam of your lips, earning a frenzied whine when glides his tongue across yours, and teasingly licks at the roof of your mouth. Your tongue is lithe against his, but somehow just as deceptive and sly as always, and Armin would be a fool to deny that he loved it.

There’s a spark flickering in his stomach when you push your center harshly against his; and it’s only ignited further when he feels you bite his bottom lip. A guttural growl escapes him, his right hand moving to your throat with practiced ease, pushing the back of your head into the wall.

He pauses for a moment, drinks in your wide eyes and desperate visage, “You are the single most frustrating person I’ve ever met in my entire life.”

And he couldn’t get enough of it if he tried. He couldn’t get enough of you.

You must see through his words, into the grainy expression of adoration in his eyes, because he can see it filtering into yours, pupils dilating with both want and care.

“Aw, baby, I love you, too,” you pout, leaning forward as best to can to peck him on the lips, “Now, shut me up and fuck me. It’s exhausting being this pretty and smart-mouthed, you know.”

Armin dips his head into your neck, squeezes against the column of your throat with warning until he hears a gasp escape from your lips. He presses gentle kisses into your skin, in stark contrast to the increasing pressure from his fingers, waiting for one last request, and then, finally—“Please.”

He smiles, loosens his grip for a moment, just long enough to hear your pretty panting, before slotting his lips against yours again. Your moans are lewd and sloppy and breathless between kisses, and it makes his dick twitch in his pants. You really are so fucking loud. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He uses his free hand to push your skirt up, and subsequently dip past the weak barrier of your tights and underwear. The slightest flicker of his fingers against your center has you choking out a moan, and Armin is forced to press his right thumb harder against your neck.

“Quiet,” he reminds you, “You asked nicely, so I’ll give you what you want. No need to be loud about it.”

He watches you nod with short and restricted movements, a sadistic kind of power washing over him at your eager compliance. He uses his middle finger to rub slow, careful circles around your clit; the feeling of your wet cunt against his fingers, coupled with your wanton moaning only spurs on the throbbing in his pants.

“Armin,” you whine, impatiently; but he expected that of you, “Don’t tease.”

His eyes flash to yours briefly, pressing his lips to yours again to swallow your shuddered moans. He dips his tongue into your mouth at the same time he does his middle finger into your cunt. An obscene moan echoing through the classroom, as Armin feels your body arching into his again; feels your fingers frantically flying to his hair, searching for purchase to anchor yourself on.

He pulls away in time to add another digit and watch you groan underneath him. He pushes both his fingers in to the knuckle, carefully curling them upwards to elicit the prettiest sound out of you. He has to admit, it’s probably his favorite thing to hear come out of your mouth.

He keeps a steady pace, pumping his fingers in and out of your pussy with perfect friction, teetering between letting you moan his name and choking you silent. Your hands are frantic in his hair, grasping and pulling and so, so, desperate, Armin can’t help but to finger fuck you harder.

“You want one more?” he questions, but his voice is taunting, words ghosted over your lips just out of reach for you to kiss.

He can feel your leg trembling against his, see you pupils shaking along with your shaking head. Armin stops to smile; he thought you might do that. He could probably make you cry right now if he wanted to. Maybe later.

“Want you to fuck me,” your words short and ragged, eyebrows raised when he uses his thumb to press lightly against your clit, “Armin, please.”

The blonde shakes his head, “You’re dumber than you look if you think I’m gonna fuck you in a classroom, baby, so if you want to cum now, you better tell me.”

You have the audacity to pout of all things, “You’re mean.”

Armin lets out a breathless laugh. “You like it,” he leans forward to peck you sweetly, “So, what’ll it be?”

“Fine, but I want head later, too,” you tell him, words becoming less firm when Armin teases his ring finger against your slit, “Please.”

Armin hums in compliance, leaning forward to kiss you again, this time with more tact, and he chases your whines when he finally pushes a third finger inside of you.

“Look at you,” he croons breaking your kiss and forcing your head back again, “You take it so well.”

“Ah—fuck, there, Armin—there,” you cry, wet heat squeezing around his fingers in intermittent spasms.

Armin watches your chest heave with desperate breaths, air stuttering to pass from your lips to your lungs with his hand around your neck. He can feel your walls constricting around his fingers, feel your body shaking underneath him when he increases his pace. He curls his fingers again, just right, just until he hears you sing a strained call of his name. And when he feels your nails scraping down the nape of his neck, and the slight weight of your body convulsing, Armin knows you’re done for.

He’s nice enough to fuck you through your orgasm, shallow thrusts of his fingers bringing you to and down from your high as he watches you pant for him. He presses small kisses against your throat, up, up, up, until he’s kissing you, and carefully pulling his fingers out.

He removes his hand from your neck, and slides it down your waist to offer you support. He’s not prepared for your sudden pull on his neck, forcing him into a kiss that conveys your content; he’s quick to raise his left hand, palm meeting the wall to hold himself up against your sporadic actions, chuckling lightly into your kiss. You were always so reckless and happy after an orgasm.

You kiss him like you have him wrapped your finger despite being the one pleading moments ago. You do, so he supposes it’s not unwarranted; and he welcomes your flirtatious kisses despite the annoying blush they always bring forth.

And sure enough, he can feel his face on fire when you pull away. Armin scoffs internally at himself; he really should be able to keep it together around you by now. But when you kiss him like that, you kind of make it hard to think straight.

“You’re so good when you’re not… pretending to be good,” you hum, a blissful, hazy look on your features as you wrap your arms around his neck.

Armin shakes his head with a chortle of disbelief; leans forward to kiss you again, “’M not pretending. I am good.”

“Yeah, you’re such a good little saint that arguing with your girlfriend turns you on,” you taunt him, “It’s okay, Armin, you can admit it.”

He groans, out of shallow annoyance this time, and it makes you giggle. “Why are you acting like you’re not complicit in this?”

“Oh, no, no, no,” you refute with an exaggerated roll of your eyes, “You get turned on by hearing me talk about biochemistry. I like it when you tell me to shut up about it. We are not the same.”

“Yeah, because you look hot doing it,” he tells you, “Speaking of which, Eren called you hot today, so I kind of need you to slip a neurotoxin in his Gatorade.”

“Aw, Eren thinks I’m hot? Tell him I think he’s hot, too,” you bat your eyelashes at him, but Armin only offers you an unimpressed glare in return.

“I think he might be onto us, actually,” Armin notes, affectionately bumping his nose against yours.

“If he’s onto us, then it’s because you’re the one giving it away, not me.”

“Oh, because you could never do anything wrong, right?”

“Right,” you flash him an overconfident smile before reaching up to kiss to the tip of his nose, “See you’re so smart, baby.”

Armin shakes his head again in disbelief. You’re a handful, he can see that much.

“Come on,” he prompts, “We should go, I still have to finish my lab write up, and I know you haven’t started your paper.”

Armin tries to motion you forward, but is stopped when he feels your hand combing through his hair, and sees the genuine spark of concern in your eyes. “The one for your elective? I thought you said you were going to finish it on Monday.”

“I was,” Armin admits, “But then I didn’t.”

“You want me to help you with it?” you offer kindly, pushing his bangs back and letting your hands fall down the sides of his face, palms resting against his ears.

He nods gently, turning his head to press a kiss into your left palm, before wrapping his hand around your wrist, “I can help you outline your paper.”

You nod in return, and Armin spares one more kiss, before pulling your hand away to lace your fingers together.

Thankfully, nobody’s around to catch you exiting the classroom, or see you holding hands as you make your way out of the building and towards the bus stop. This was Armin’s favorite part of any Tuesday; the one time he could hold your hand on campus without the fear of getting caught by your friends.

He reasons that you guys should probably tell them soon, though, especially if Eren might have an idea of what’s going on. You were bound to get caught sooner rather than later. That, or Eren and Sasha would start meddling.

“If you think Eren knows, then Mikasa definitely knows,” you note, swinging your intertwined hands as you walk through the parking lot as a shortcut.

“Maybe if you actually remembered to hide Soup’s toys, there would be less evidence for her to piece together.”

“Yeah, well, maybe if you didn’t forget when your midterms are, I wouldn’t have to emergency cat sit the hour before Mikasa comes around, and there wouldn’t be any toys to hide in the first place.”

“I’m bad with dates, you know that!” Armin pouts, “I don’t say anything when you forget about ten page papers until four hours before they’re due.”

“You’re saying something right now, actually.”

“That’s not what I—you know, you’re so—”

Armin’s quiet when he feels your lips pressed against his cheekily, “Annoying. I know. You like it. You’re not very good at staying mad for very long.”

Armin’s tempted to roll his eyes yet again—he really needs to quit it, or at the very least, get your own temper under control before it’s irreversible and completely rubbed off on him—but takes the opportunity to kiss your forehead, instead.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Your eyes twinkle under his affections. “And that you love me?”

He nods, “And that I love you.”

“And that you’re gonna fuck me before you make me write my paper when we get home, right?”

Armin chuckles and presses another kiss to your forehead, “We’ll see about that one.”

Hange huffs as they make their way through the parking. They always forget their keys in their office, and always, inconveniently park half-way across the campus. In their defense, this parking lot is free, and the one closest to the Medical Sciences building is not. So, really, capitalism is the one to blame for their frequent late night car lot strolls.

They hear two familiar voices bickering just as they’re about to step into their car, and are more than surprised to see their two favorite students walking together. Walking together and holding hands. Wait—you and Armin are walking together and holding hands?

Hange blinks for a moment, drowning out the sounds of the conversation after they see you two kiss. Their jaw practically falls to the asphalt and they might not blink for a full two minutes as they process what they just saw.

Their trance is broken when it finally, finally clicks together, and Hange has to try their hardest to contain their squeals before sitting in the driver’s seat, an overly forceful slam to the car door following. They waste no time fumbling with the pockets of their lab coat to fish out their phone, and make a call to their favorite math professor.

“Levi, I told you Arlert and (_____) had to know each other outside of class! I think they might be dating! You know what this means, right? I can have them both in the same lab without worrying they might start a chemical fire, and I won’t have to hire two brick heads this summer!”

Levi has never hung up a call more quickly in his life.

[natewriteslol]

May I request a reaction(?)/headcanon?

(twst boiz }:‑))

Rook, Sebek, Idia, Jack and Azul reacting to a secretly ripped reader.

Explanation!: Reader wears a lot if oversized stuff, lazy af, tends to skip PE classes and etc. You know acting like they're weak and stuff while in reality they're just lazy. For some reason Vargas saw the potential and the true power in reader, so he decided to add them to the team of [insert a really brutal sport or smt]. Everyone r like: "Y?? They weak!" When it's Readers time to enter the game, they take their hoodie off and omG those muscles. I swear someone fainted right on spot. And someone went 🧎🤰 After Absolutely destroying opponents team, they're just like "ok, I did the thing! Now I want my super duper rare chips".

A/N: This is such a creative premise, thank you for sending it!!

MC goes by they/them pronouns :)

Warnings: none except that MC takes off their shirt

Honestly Y/N was known to be one of the most laziest people on campus, so lazy that it even rivaled Leona! Which there has to be some form of intervention for them because it’s just getting out of hand. And while it benefitted in certain situations, such as annoying Grim to actually start moving his lazy ass around the house, or bullies leaving them alone since Y/N couldn’t bother to muster a reaction.

However they continued to skip P.E classes, and just all around not doing anything. So it came to a surprise that when they were called to Vargas’ office.

“Wait. Y/N where are you going?” Ace questioned, as their friend went with their backpack toward the door.

“I got an interview with Vargas for something. Watch Grim for me please, later” they replied relaxed. And while both Deuce and Ace questioned what their friend was going to be interviewed for, the pair just looked at each other, shrugged and went back to their schoolwork.

Once Y/N got to Vargas’ office, they sat on the chair on the other side of his desk. The student gazed at the sports paraphernalia on the walls, before Vargas started talking.

“Well Y/N, I bet you’re wondering why I called to talk to you?” He asked.

“Yup” the student said, keeping their answers short and concise.

“You tend to skip my classes a great amount, and while both you and Grim are enrolled as one student your lack of participation is dropping your grade,” Vargas said while standing up.

Y/N started to feel bad, sure they didn’t really care to participate but they didn’t want to inconvenience Grim.

“But, I will promise you one thing, I can feel the potential in you Y/N!” the man said excitedly, slightly spooking you. “As a man who is incredible person overflowing with talent,” Vargas started,

‘Wowee, pretty narcissistic’ you thought, but then you started to pay attention again.

“I can see greatness within others, it’s almost like my 6th sense. And I can feel it within you. Now all I ask of you Y/N, is that you participate in the Great Dodging Tournament try outs. And I will raise your grade” The older man offered, Vargas really believed in you.

And that really put a smile on your face, “You know what, I’ll do it.”

“Thanks kiddo!” the man boomed with a great smile on his face while ruffling your head.

I mean, if he’s this excited you can try for him.

~

It was tryouts, Deuce and Ace were a little apprehensive for Y/N to be participating. I mean the Great Dodging Tournament involves one person dodging great magical attacks from the opposite team, in order to get at least one of the balls from the other team. And while you didn’t technically need magical powers to compete, it certainly did help.

“Y/N L/N, you’re up!” It was their turn. Whispers broke out, everyone didn’t understand why they were even allowed to participate.

“Have you even seen them run?” Someone whispered.

The heat was rising despite it being the afternoon, “Damn, I’m getting hot” Y/N says and they start to strip, taking off their oversized shirt.

What came to a great surprise was their physique, incredibly ripped abs. Strong shoulders, back and arms now exposed to everyone.

They did absolutely fantastic for their tryouts, moving across the field with great speed, dodging every single attack and they were able to take 2 out of the 7 balls from the other team. Y/N was excellent, and absolute essential to the Great Dodging Tournament team. Every person was in great shock, they didn’t even break a sweat.

“Alrightie! Now where’s my snacks?” They said, sitting down on the bench.

Rook:

-Oh mon cherie, what have you been hiding from him? ~

-Rook had alot of information on almost everyone at the school, so this definitely came to a shock to him

-A strong advocate for keeping them shirtless all the time

-I mean Y/N lays around all the time, they might as well look good while doing it

-It's just him and Sebek arguing (well it's Sebek who is actually arguing) about what Y/N should do once they come back: Shirt or no shirt?

-He’s very impressed with their strengt and willpower to get that physique

-Very mischievously looks down at Y/N while they complete their audition

-Rook I love you but what are you planning-

Sebek:

-He goes bright red, and starts yelling at Y/N to put a shirt on

-”I-it’s inappropriate for you to be walking around like this! Do you humans not have any shame?!”

-”D-don’t come closer! I don’t want a hug from you!”

-W-what? How could he miss that this mere human held this much power?

-He was incredibly observant (or so he claimed)

-Sebek didn’t know weak, puny humans could possess that type of strength

-If Y/N as a non-magic user were able to obtain this level of power, you were a threat

-Definitely not intimidated by them (he lowkey is intimidated by them)

-While he’s still incredibly opposed to Y/N’s lazy behaviors, he has a newfound respect for them

-Later on he thinks about it more and is marching to their dorm inorder to force them into doing more powerful stuff

-”YOU COULD HAVE GREAT LEVELS OF POWER, JUST WORK YOU LAZY HUMAN!”

-” Naw man, but since you’re up can you get the tv remote? It’s pretty far.”

Idia:

-Of course this happens the one time he goes outside in person!

-Erupts into flames and has a bright ass blush

-Has Ortho calm down his flames with his built in fans

-Idia literally hides inside his hoodie so that no one could notice him

-But I mean it’s kinda hard since at this point he’s looks like a campfire but go off-

-He literally can’t look Y/N in the eyes omg

-Idia tries to talk to them but he just ends up spluttering

-He thought that Y/N had put their shirt back on so he takes his head out of his hoodie and NOPE they still have it off and the cycle of embarrassment repeats

-Idia manages to compliment Y/N, comparing them to a powerful anime character from a show he watched

-The man cannot look at Y/N the same anymore now that he knows what’s under all that baggy clothing

Jack:

-Jack definitely did not see this coming

-Can admit that he is a little flustered (Alot of people teased him since his tail started to wag at the sight of Y/N’s body

-He couldn’t imagine the Y/N he knows doing all of this activity, let alone dodging such powerful magic attacks with this much skill

-They’re a perfect candidate for the team and Jack grows really passionate about you wanting to pursue sports

-Has alot more respect for you

-He will drag Y/N to do a bunch of brutally, active shit with him since the whole “I’m too weak” jig is up

-”Jack pls no”

-”But when you were soaring through the air during Dodging tryouts I heard no complaints. Get your ass up, Y/N”

-While their P.E grade is saved, at what cost?

Azul:

-Azul thought that it was going to be a fun little attempt on Y/N’s part

-Were they joking? I mean he’s never seen them move a muscle for extracurricular activities like sports. Honestly-

-And oh dear oh it’s them shirtless

-Azul is so caught off guard

-He turns away so that Floyd and Jade don’t see his face, but those sneak boys know what’s going on

-”Boss you’re so red!”

-”Ooooh, are you flustered by shrimpy taking off their shirt~”!

-So that’s what you’ve been hiding under your clothing!

-He’s very impressed by your strength, Azul is wondering why you decided to hide it?

-Are you involved in shady business too? Hence why you’re laying low? (Sounds like projection but okay Azul-)

-He’s also thinking about getting you to sign some form of deal so that they can take advantage of your strength (Sorry Y/N)

[neon-junkie]

in my hUmble opinion i think,, hear me out,, a sex pollen with the bad batch smut,,, amd ,,, reader is the only gal,,, thoughts? or maybe ur headcanons on how the bad batch react to being dommed

from ur fave mutual💗😁

I've started writing a fic for the Batch being sex pollen, so in the meantime, pls enjoy these headcanons on what the Batch is like when you're in charge.

Gender-neutral reader<3

Hunter

He's more than happy for you to take the lead. If anything, he encourages it.

Hunter is always in charge, seeing as he's the Sergeant and all. That mindset often follows through to the bedroom, but when you wag your finger and instruct him that you're in charge tonight, he instantly submits.

In some ways, this is Hunter's time off, a moment to breathe and relax, even if you're turning him into a whimpering mess.

He's a laid back guy who enjoys most sexual acts; guidelines and safe words are always spoken about before you two begin, and the second it begins, he instantly snaps into a submissive mindset.

Hunter feeds on praise, gentle touches, stimulation - anything giving. You can deprive and tease him every so often, but don't make a habit of it. The poor man needs somebody to care for him, not somebody to punish him.

Thanks to his heightened senses, he's incredibly sensitive, and it's going to take a while to find that perfect balance. You can always use this to your advantage though...

Hunter will lose his mind if you tie him up, sit opposite him, and get yourself off whilst declining his pleads to touch you. He can feel how fast your heart is beating in your chest, the lingering scent of your heat, even the faint taste of you dancing on his tongue. He needs you so badly, but you're in control, so it's up to you how long you drag this out for.

Orgasm denial is a 50/50 topic for him. You're allowed to deny him here and there, but don't go overboard. He needs his release; he's always pent-up, and this moments alone with you are rare. He wants to enjoy them!

Despite being submissive, Hunter still has a dominant glow to him. He'll go down on you, mouth occupied with the task at hand, but he has that look in his eyes as he locks his focus onto you. It's in his natural persona to at least have one hand on the reigns, even if it's subconscious and not intentional.

Please spoil him during after care. Give him a massage, clean him up, run your fingers through his hair as you praise him over and over. He needs it.

Wrecker

The goodest boy to ever grace this earth.

Despite his large and intimidating size, Wrecker is a switch, and he enjoys a 50/50 balance throughout his sex life.

He knows damn well how to play both parts, and always make a show of it.

Wrecker is far from bratty - he would never dream of being bratty! He wants to be your good boy, and he's going to be the most obedient, submissive, goodest boy to ever grace the galaxy.

Wrecker has few limits, but for the more extreme things, he needs a heads-up. This can be anything from casually letting him know what you'd like to do later, to making a game of it and riling him up throughout the day.

Pull him into a quiet corner, look him dead in the eyes as you place your hands on his chest, and maintain eye contact as you begin going into detail on what you want to do later.

The others know you two are discussing certain things, all thanks to Wrecker's gasps and whimpers. He attempts to keep the noise down, but you're making it so hard for him!

He's the king of praise, and needs to be gifted compliments every few minutes. Tell him over and over about how good his tongue feels, how much his cock stretches you, how perfect he's fucking you, and so forth.

Wrecker has no problem begging, he has no snooty attitude that gets in the way. If he's desperate for something, then he'll beg over and over, practically nagging your ear off!

It's impossible for Wrecker to be quiet, even if he's gagged, so most of your intense sexual acts take place in hotels. Even then, you've had noise complaints, but hotels were designed for this kinda stuff - right?

After care is one of his favourite moments, and he snaps out of his submissive stage the second the sex is over. He wants after care to be a mutual thing, even if you've really worn him out. He's going to clean you up, just as you're cleaning him up, and he won't take your protests for an answer!

Echo

Echo's always been a switch, both before and after Skako Minor.

Before, he was always extremely down to be submissive, sometimes more than he is dominant. But after Skako Minor, he almost always needs to be dominant.

He's lost a lot, both mentally and physically, and sex is one of the few times when he can truly be in control.

However, there are days when Echo is so exhausted, needy, overwhelmed, desperate, etc. Those are the days when he's more than happy to submit to you, because he needs someone to take the ropes, someone to remind him how fantastic and beautiful he is, someone to praise him over and over until he's practically in tears.

If you haven't already guessed it, Echo needs a gentle, kind, and considerate dom. He enjoys being 'whatever you need' when the roles are reversed, but when it's his time to be on his knees, he needs nothing but pure love and affection.

Edging is an act that Echo really enjoys; it's one of the few things that truly makes him feel alive, having his body feel oh-so-desperate for release. He doesn't care if he becomes a sobbing, whimpering mess - if anything, that's all the better!

But during his edging journey, you need to be reminding him often on what a good job he's doing, how he's your good boy, how strong and resilient he is, how he's perfect in every single way.

And the second you allow him to cum, he's thanking you, over and over until you silence him with a kiss. He's not just thanking you for allowing him to climax, but for everything - for being there for him, for making him feel alive, for your support, kindness, consideration. Literally everything.

After care is just as intense, and Echo is exhausted when the sex is over. He always softly protests, telling you that you don't need to clean him up, that he can do it himself, but he makes no physical effort to get away from your gentle touches.

Honestly, he loves having somebody caring for him, but the voice in the back of his head scolds him for it. Continue cleaning him up, pull him into your arms, let his head rest against your chest, and plant kisses on him as he drifts off to sleep.

That's all he needs. That's all Echo's ever needed - somebody to care for him.

Tech

Are you really surprised that Tech has a locked-away, deep and endless knowledge of sexual activities? He has minor experience with sex in general, but he's dived deep into the adult side of the holonet, both out of curiosity, and arousal.

So, when you inform Tech that you want to take the lead, he begins questioning everything that you have planned for him.

Tech needs an in-depth discussion before you two begin. He wants to know your limits, favourites, pros and cons. He wants to ensure that boundaries are set, and safe words are agreed on. Even if you're not doing anything too extreme, Tech wants to ensure that both of you are safe.

Don't be surprised if Tech pulls out a list of sexual activities that he'd like to try, marked from highest to lowest priority. His living space may be a mess, but his holopad is laid out flawlessly.

It takes a couple of sessions to 'break him in.' He often snaps out of character, wanting to ask questions, suggest future ideas, and so forth. He can't help it, his mind is always in overdrive!

At first, you need to follow his lead and reassure him when needed. But when he's still blabbering on after a few sessions, that's when you pull the ball gag out and inform him that he needs to keep his mouth under control, or else he won't be allowed to cum later.

Tech's submissive mindset finally sets in, and oh boy, he is the whiniest, loudest, most sensitive man you'll ever meet. The slightest touch has his mind spinning, and if you think that's bad, just you wait until you begin denying and edging him.

Tech will try almost anything once, and he'll know almost instantly if he's enjoying it or not. But out of everything, he adores being gagged and tied up, edged and denied over and over, all whilst you're telling him about what a good, smart boy he is.

Seriously, rile him up by going into depth about how much you adore his exceptional mind. He'll lose it. That's his weakness!

After care is a mutual activity. You'll be telling him about how good he was, and he'll be thanking you for treating him so well. Tech almost always ends up falling asleep in your arms after, and he'll fall asleep even quicker if you play with his hair.

Crosshair

Oh boy.

You're going to need to be extremely patient, firm, and dominant when it comes to having Crosshair submit to you. He's the brattiest brat you'll ever meet, but it's worth the time and effort when you finally 'break him in.'

He needs to be close to you in order to truly submit, really close. Crosshair's truly submissive side reveals that he's a whiny mess of a man, and he's not comfortable with just anybody seeing that side of him.

At first, Crosshair is full of back chat, petty comments, follows your orders wrong, or refuses to do them overall. He has made it his mission to rile you up, so you need to make it your mission to train him.

If you want him to stop being smug, then pull him over your knee, and give him a spanking. Seriously. He'll understand that you mean business after the first slap, and the more you spank him, the more his walls begin to break down.

You'll spend months getting through to him, but each session breaks his walls down ever so slightly, and you'll know when they're truly broken down.

Crosshair will never openly admit to this, or at least, not at first, but he loves being your personal fuck toy. He wants you to fuck him however you want whilst degrading him, maybe humiliating him every so often.

Mock him for how pathetic he looks as he's bound and gagged for you, desperate for his first release. It's been hours, and you're still riding him, chasing yet another orgasm, and you've lost count of how many you've already had. He's so desperate for one, just one, but you've trained him not to speak unless spoken to, so until you give him the all clear, he won't beg, he'll just take it.

There are few things that he's not okay with. Feel free to choke him, slap him about, use him however you want. However, you need to make up for everything when he is finally allowed to cum.

Crosshair is going to have tears pouring down his cheeks when he releases. Soothe him, praise him, remind him over and over about how wonderful and perfect he is, how proud you are of him, how much he means to you.

He's so exhausted that he allows you to clean him up and tuck him into bed. Seriously, you two have been going at it for hours, of course he's tired! Please pull him against your chest, run your fingers through his hair, and snuggle him tightly throughout the night.

[gimme-mor]

ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable 

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people 

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already 

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

-----------

Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

[carpisuns]

Pls tell me more of the luxy agenda

ok u literally asked for this!! lol

so this moment is where it all starts. it’s so gay. look at that.

but if u wanna know my in-depth reasons for liking this ship, read on under the cut lol

for me the core of luxy is twofold:

1. Some characters need a conflicting personality to make a really interesting ship dynamic.

2. Some characters are garbage and need someone really insightful and patient to help them get better.

Personally I feel like Luka’s potential as a character is best served when he is met with opposition. That brings out a side of him we don’t get to see often and provides a challenge he can grow into as a character. Like in Silencer! He’s a very chill dude but when you piss him off, he hisses lol. And I think that is interesting and I want to see more of what Luka is like when he is challenged. Because of this, ships like Lukanette and Lukadrien aren’t really my cup of tea personally (no salt if that is your thing tho!), but ships like Lukloe and Lukagami and Luxy intrigue me because of the personality clash. Luka’s generally very understanding, compassionate, and intuitive, so he can have a softening effect in a ship that could really benefit someone who is a little more emotionally stiff/closed off than he is. And on the other hand, someone with a strong opposing personality could have a fortifying/stretching effect on him, inspiring him to be a little more direct and active and state his needs and wants clearly.

So Luka and XY are already perfect counterparts for this kind of opposites-attract ship. And they also have some key similarities that make them potentially able to relate to each other while also still driving that central conflict. For example, they’re both musicians, but they go about it in opposite ways—creating original, organic-sounding stuff vs digital remixing (and also straight-up ripping off lol). They also both have crappy dads, but Luka's was AWOL his whole life whereas XY's basically controls his life.

Ofc for Luxy to work as a ship, XY has to have redemptive potential, which is very easy for me to invent for him based on this one moment lol:

XY is clearly a terrible person in canon lol but this 1.3-second clip provides just enough to fill in the rest with headcanons that could make Luxy sail 😌 Here are my personal favs:

XY actually is a surprisingly talented musician/DJ in his own right, but his dad discourages him from making his own stuff because he wants to stick with the formula he knows will sell. XY is basically just a face to make money off of, and deep down he is dissatisfied with his father's creative control. He wants to stop stealing and make original music instead, but because of his dad's snide comments, he's afraid he's actually no good anyway.

XY is in the closet but struggles with internalized homophobia because of his homophobic dad. Whenever he tries to talk with his dad about it, Bob shuts him down, makes disparaging remarks, and implies that XY's career and life will be destroyed if he comes out.

XY's fame grants him a wide but shallow social pool. He has lots of fans and a group/posse his dad keeps around him for influence, but he has no close friends and no one he can be honest with about his feelings. Underneath his gaudy bling and scientifically impossible hair, he is just a lonely, scared little boy 😔

So when you mix this all together, what do you get? A enemies-to-lovers slowburn that inspires character development on both sides (and a whole redemption for XY), with plenty of room both for crack/clownery and angst and hurt/comfort. And there is also some great symbolism involved, with Luka being the hero of second chances. Very tasty, in my humble opinion 🤠

If you made it this far and you're actually interested in seeing content for this ship, here's some of my fav stuff!

"Pretender" mini animatic by @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights

Macaroni mini animatic by @bugaboo-n-bananoir

Heartsong (Needs More Bass Drops) by @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights

Luka and XY's Excellent Adventure by @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights, ft amazing art by @bugaboo-n-bananoir!!

Aged-up domenstic Luxy by @bugaboo-n-bananoir

Viperxy by @bugaboo-n-bananoir

Luxy frenemies by @bugaboo-n-bananoir and @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights

Urinals by @lllluka

Luxy guitar by @kagamitsu

Luxy bike ride by @gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights

Luxy week drawings by @landturtlealyce/@daily-miracuclass

I Can't Help Falling in Love With You by @janaikam

there is actually a surprising amount of great content for this ship haha, much more than i could fit here, so i would recommend checking out the #luxy tag for any of these blogs 😎 also @janaikam created @luxyweek earlier this year, so you can check that out too!

this was probably much more than you bargained for but you did ask for it and i was not going to turn this opportunity away :) lol

[divinefireangel]

Hey there!!! Can you please write a smut on SF9 finding out their partner reading smuts 🥺🌝 (I want to see how dirty they can go🌝) And if you don't want to write for all of them then maybe you can just do it for any member you're comfortable to write on. Literally, ANY MEMBER WOULD WORK. I really want to read something like this haha🤭

Also, I genuinely love your writings! I'm new to Tumblr but I'm literally binge reading your posts. Gosh you're talented as fuck😫💗✨

Lots of love, and thank youuuu💕

OMG YES YES YES YES

TMI: Not gonna lie, I was thinking about this when my mom came into my room to talk to me, and my recent story was literally right there just open and I was panicking. Although she doesn't know anything 💀. She's cute like that, my mom.

You are so sweet anon 🥺🥺. Go on make me cry with your lovely words 😭. I will try my best to write more and sorry this took so long 💞💖 LOVE YOU 💓

S/O reads Smuts 🤭

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 18+ ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader). Rough sex (YB). Thigh riding (IS). Dick riding (JY). Marking. Biting. Humping. Dining table sex (DW). Low key strength kink? Idk (RW). Biting using teeth (ZH). Exhibitionism. Terrace sex (TY). Slight voyeurism. Oral - reader receiving (HY). Somehow I end up writing the filthiest things for Hwi. Cockwarming to sex (CH). It's really difficult to think of 9 different things for 9 different people😤. Also some may be unprotected sex, don't do it unless you want kids. Lmk if I need to add more!

Word Count: HAH jokes 😂

All members under the cut!

Youngbin

Doesn't understand at first 💀

But he isn't scared to ask so he'll just ask you

The panic on your face makes him panic

Apologizes 🥺

Then you explain that it's no big deal and that it's just a story

But he saw his name 💀💀💀

So he's curious and so he does research aka Googles it

Has a mixed reaction, doesn't know what to think

On one hand, he's flattered...?

Like, oh sweet, you are reading a story about him probably railing you to death

On the other hand, why are you reading it?

Did he not satisfy you enough? Should he do more? He wants to

So he will pick a random one, read it and be like, Okay. This is how it's gonna play tonight

So determined 🥺

Picks you up for your date and stuff

Timeskip to the bedroom by a steamed dumpling Dawon

So touchy and observant

Tries his best to remember what was in the story

Forgets but that's okay tho cause now he knows what you want

More Dom than usual

More vocal than usual

His grip on your skin leaves so many bruises and literal fingerprint shaped marks

Bites your neck a lot

Doesn't hold back one bit

Secretly satisfies his wishes too

Teases you for being so ready

Teases you for every reaction

Pulls your hair

Overstimulates you

Until you're tired and can't take it anymore

He could go for a round more

So he does

It's also like, he's lowkey angry at himself cause you were reading smut which made him think, maybe you thought he was too vanilla

But after you've both cooled down you ask him what happened and why he was so rough, not that you had a problem

Expresses his concerns and you tell him that you read those only cause you wanted to know what the fandom thinks of him and the way they think he likes to have sex

Blushy babyyyy

So cute 🥺

Inseong

Bro

Do I even need to 😂

He's probably written a few 💀

He seems like he's into roleplay 👀

So when he does find a tab open on your phone about literal PORN, in words

He doesn't think much of it tbh

But is curious

He'll tease you like you are both high schoolers

Holds you phone up high so you can't reach it

Satisfied when you whine and pout

Tucks your phone in his back pocket and grabs your face

" I think it's hot "

Peck's your lips and slaps your butt leaving you wide eyed

You need a minute to process what just happened lol

Running after him you pull him down on the couch, sitting on hids lap

Bite you lip and grab his face pls

Now he's wide eyed 😂

Kiss his neck and talk to him sexily

" Do you really like that I read smut? "

You look so innocent he would cum right there

Poor man is dumbfolded

So much that he doesn't even realize you were grinding down on his thigh the whole while

Grabbing your hips he nudges your hips to continue their movement

Loves having you so close

Especially after discovering your secret

Suck him off after and he'll do any and everything for you 😉

Jaeyoon

Oo this one is fun

He won't confront you immediately

He'll just think about it a lot

" How are they so cute when they read such things for fun? "

Stares at you from across the room

Smirks at your cute smiles

Timeskip this time by Baek Huru

Surprises you by kissing your neck

Humps your butt

Pecks you neck

Rolls your nipples in his fingers

Moans in your ear, deeply and hoarsely

Pulls away dragging you to the bed

Sits near the headboard

Beckons you to come closer and naked 👀

Forces your dick in you, slowly tho, don't worry

Doesn't give you a lot of time to react

But, all this seems familiar

Then you realize that he's trying to recreate the imagine you were reading before

The whole idea made you hot

Istg you've never finished so soon

He tells you that you don't need to read those stories when you have the real deal right there

Sanghyuk

Smug bastard

He's happy that you're thinking and reading about him even when he isn't with you

He will actually read the warnings and is mildly surprised lol

Wow you really into all that?

He has no shame so he will ask you directly

You stop doing what you're doing and just slowly turn towards him

He's scared lmao

Then explains himself and says sorry

Tbh, you're more shocked that he isn't angry

Blinking you slowly make him sit on the dining table chair

Pacing you start to think of and explanation now

Is there any explanation for reading smut? Idk 😂

Honestly, he asked you so that you could actually do what the warnings said in real life

Gets up, takes your hand pulling you close and lifts you, making you sit on the dining table

Removes his shirt before kissing you intensely

Tells you that he wants to fuck you on the table like in the smut

Nodding you let him take over

Makes you cum twice easily

It's more romantic than rough

Passionate, very passionate

Kisses you a lot

Hands on you all over you

Pulls you closer and closer by your thighs

Lays you down and fucks you till your back is no where on the table

Sweet reassuring smooches when you're done

Tells you to talk to him about such ideas rather than just reading them

Seokwoo

He is shocked™

Listen okay

He's tall

He's scared that he'll hurt you if he does what he wants without thinking

Reads multiple smuts 💀

Only the ones you've liked so far tho

Fuckin uses your account so yeah obviously

Now he'll be ready to talk to you about it

So shy omg

Stutters words out cause he's so flustered

You need to read his mind, literally

Once, somehow you are finally clear about what he was talking about

You'd just laugh at his cuteness

Boy is confused ??

Pushing him down on the bed you climb on top of him

Yes climb

Needy but still shy and shocked

Wastes no time in getting naked

Allows you to do whatever you want to him

No, really

Let's you take charge that is only until you tease him

Flips you and thrusts into you so hard the bed is shaking and you feel like it might break

Strong grips on your thighs and hips and belly and arms

Definitely sore for a few many days 💀

Juho

I'm not sure tbh

Either he won't care at all like

" Oh yeah this is just their thing "

Or he'd be so into it like hed wonder why you were reading it, was it for ideas?

He already has those so you don't need them from someone else

He won't ask you about it tho

But you will bring up an idea that was in one of them

And he's down

Or up, whichever you want

Asks you what you want more times than usual

But it doesn't make sense cause you're literally going crazy with the way his cock feels inside you and he asks you what you want?

Starts moving before you answer

Asks you again and again till all you can say out loud is " More "

He's fine with that answer

Hands above your head

Teeth scraping your the front of your throat drawing so many sounds from you

He's driving his dick in you so fast that you're moving away from him

Praises you with his deep ass voice

Gives you his Vampire stare™

That's all you need to cum undone

Keeps it a secret, won't ask you unless you bring up your little extracurricular activity 😌

Yoo Taeyang

SHY BABYYYYY

So pink when he realizes what you're reading lol

But he's so mesmerised that he goes on reading it 😂

You catch him looking at your phone, no big deal

But he's looking at it as though he saw a ghost

He's turned on but at the same time he's appalled

Do people see him like that? Do you want him to be that?

He's gonna need a lot of time to process the information

When you reassure him that he doesn't need to change anything at all, he's more calm then

But on a fine ass blue moon, his fine ass is gonna decide that he's gonna try something new

So there you are, on the terrace talking to someone on the phone. After ending the call he'll come and hug you from behind

It's all aww so cute till you feel his dick press into your butt

Forces your head back to rest on hius shoulder slowly but hotly

Unbuttons your jeans and pulls them down in one swift motion and his hands are all over you

Somehow the idea of having sex in the open night sky is so exciting

Stops just before you reach your high so that he can fuck you

You're leaning on the terrace wall

Face pressed slightly on it as your butt sticks out for him

Giving him permission to do anything to you

The orgasm hits you so fast but it's so fulfilling 🤤

And your pants are being pulled up even faster 💀

Maybe you should leave smut laying around

Youngkyun

You've found the saucuest lil smut about your boyfriend

He's sitting at the table, on his laptop composing and writing songs while you are here on the bed, blanket over your legs

Now see, you aren't really one to get off of smut but this particular one was so realistic

The description

The reaction

The dialogues

Reading it made you body move on instinct

Lower lip getting stck in your teeth

Hand travelling down to your privates

Your hips thrusting forward into your hand and fingers

Your breathy moans, that you tried your best to stick to, were louyd enough for him to hear

At first he thought you were doing a breathing practice or something

That is until he recognized the pattern

Lifting his blank phone up, he moved it to look at you through it

Boy is so shocked

It's like his own private porn show

Placing it back on the table gently, he moves the blanket slowly, getting under it

Licking his lips, he tucks his tongue out, licking the area that your fingers just slid over

Gasping at the sudden feeling you drop your phone and move your blanket off

You inevitably moan at the sinful sight below you

Your lovely boyfriend, looking up at you through his lashes, tongue coated with his saliva and your leaking juices

Holding your wrist, he nudges you to continue what you were doing, with his tongue never leaving you

Gripping your thighs, he bites your inner thigh as you work yourself closer to your high

After you cum, he'll lick off all your juices

Then he'll be all sweet asking you what you were reading

Round 2? 😉

Chanhee

He'll find it funny 💀

Why do people write these things

Why do people read these things

What is the use?

He is partly curious lol

When you tell him it stimulates the necessary regions, boy is shook

Then he's like nah

So you make him read one

He can't even make it halfway through lol

The foreplay itself made him hard enough to want you and to want to be in you

Grabs the phone and sits next to you

" I'm hard "

You look at him like boy what

Then he tell you that he now understood why people read them and that he's happy that people read them too help themselves

And you're like okay and what's the point

Pulls you on his lap

Whines at the feeling of to your butt on his arousal

Makes you stand now lol

Pulls his pants to his thighs and even yours

Places himself in you so that now when you sit on his lap again, not only is your back to his chest

Also his dick is in you

Somehow finishes the rest of the fic and just thrusts up into you

Cause you feel so heavently around him

Goes on and on and on till you're bouncing on his lap

Cums in you and just stays there till you finish your work

Still has mixed feeling now tho

Cause if reads them he wants you to be there near him and he wants to read more cause these fics are very addicting

[dootdootwriting]

AHHH CONGRATS ON 600!!! I hope you're doing well heehoo and if its okay can i ask for the whole alphabet with scaramouche?:3 (also pls don't overwork yourself jdjajdkdlfmmeis)

600+ event!!

this is my first time writing for scara so i hope i did okay aha,, under the cut for length!

fluff alphabet with scaramouche, gn reader, warning for inazuma quest/scaramouche backstory spoilers!!

why is his name so long

A-Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?)

- scaramouche isn't super knowledgeable about relationships, so he'll just sort of tentatively ask what you want to do and go along with it (though he might act like it's a stupid idea the whole time). really he doesn't care what he spends his free time on as long as you're a part of it.

B-Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- well first of all, he admires the courage you've got to have to be with him in the first place. other than that, he also loves your smile (but you won't hear him tell you that out loud, unless you're not really asleep when he thinks you are)

C-Comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?)

- another thing he's alien to. at first just starts telling you to calm down and is pretty harsh about it. when he realizes this isn't working, he'll reluctantly take you into his arms and start awkwardly patting your head. it's funny how awkward it is and you end up laughing at him about it, which makes him annoyed, but at least now you feel better.

D-Dreams (how do they picture the future with their s/o?)

- scaramouche... either wants you to be by his side as he conquers everything and shows the world just how strong he is, or he wants to do it alone. though it would be much better if you were with him and it makes him sad to think about you not being there in the end.

E-Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?)

- surprisingly passive, actually. he doesn't really know what he's doing so he lets you make most of the decisions about dates and spending time together. other than that though, he likes to drag you around to do whatever he wants.

F-Fun (what do they do for fun with their s/o? what’s their idea of a fun day out?)

- what's fun? on a day off, scaramouche will wander around and ponder his own existence. you'll have to take him to a market or a park or something so he can actually experience things first - once you do, you'll find he enjoys being alone with you somewhere quiet, where he doesn't have to listen to other people.

G-Gratitude (how grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

- doesn't show it, but is definitely grateful, though he also doesn't know just how much of a hassle he can be. scaramouche just sort of assumed love was supposed to be unconditional... but he can tell when he's crossed a line, and he's grateful for you sticking by him despite everything.

H-Honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?)

- obviously the one big secret is how he came into being in the first place, but once he trusts you enough to tell you about his being a puppet and a test, he's in all the way. he hides little things from you before that but once he's told you, you're in it with him forever whether you like it or not, and that means he doesn't keep anything else from you.

I-Inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?)

- he's a lot more tolerable around you! you've been approached by fatui officers asking you "how do you do it?" and saying things like "thank you so much i totally thought i was gonna be yelled at today!" somehow you cool off his temper a bit.

J-Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?)

- JEALOUS JEALOUS JEALOUS man. he gets jealous so so easily and WILL confront you about it. after a while and once he knows he can trust you he gets jealous less frequently, because he knows you're with him for the long run.

K-Kisses (are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?).

- bad kisser at first because he's probably never been in love before. he gets the hang of it quickly though! your first kiss was because he had to shut you up and he couldn't figure out another way how so he just kissed you. you yelled at him after that.

L-Love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

- scaramouche confesses on purpose but in a really weird way. he plans it and everything - he takes you out to see the sunset and brings food (almost like a picnic) but then once he gets to the actual confession it's just like "how dare you do this to me? i stay awake at night thinking of you and somehow you're the most tolerable person i've ever met. childe had the audacity to call it love and to laugh at me so he got what he deserved. if you don't feel the same way i'll punch you too." but he doesn't end up having to punch you, which you're both very glad about.

M-Mornings (what’s it like waking up with them? do they sleep late or wake up before the sun rises?)

- he didn't have a reason to sleep in late until he started sleeping next to you. now he's stuck in his ridiculous sleep schedule so he always wakes up before you. but hey! bonus! now he gets to look at you while you sleep, which for some reason makes him extremely flustered (which is really cute to wake up to).

N-Nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

- just calls you your name 🧍

O-On cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?)

- when he discovered he was in love he got angry at you. then he realized it wasn't your fault, and, actually, this wasn't such a bad thing. man were you confused though. for a solid week he just yelled at you for no reason. childe guessed correctly when he realized scaramouche's more-unusual-than-usual behavior, but he had the decency to hold his tongue around you.

P-PDA (how are they with PDA? is it fun to them or are they more reserved with their affection?)

- hates pda. will hold your hand and that's it if you try to kiss him in public his face will scrunch up and his ears will pull back instinctively. then he'll avoid you for the rest of the day.

Q-Quirk (some random thing they do when they’re with you for no reason in particular)

- gently taps you at random moments, almost as if he's trying to remind himself that you're here with him.

R-Romance (how romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?)

- scaramouche tries to be romantic? he's doing his best. he tries all the gooey stuff to make you happy like buying you chocolate and giving you stuffed animals but in reality he has little to no tolerance for this kind of thing and you have to reassure him you love him, not the classic romantic things he forces himself to do. after that he stops, which is a huge relief.

S-Support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals do they believe in them?)

- he's more focused on his own goals and climbing the fatui ladder, but he's also very invested in anything you're attempting to do. wholeheartedly believes in you, whether he outwardly expresses it or not.

T-Thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship or do they prefer certain routine?)

- scaramouche likes the security of his routine and the place your relationship is at. he gets embarrassed at pretty much any new milestone and needs some time to get to them, and he gets cranky when things change suddenly, so uh. no, he likes it better the way it is with little to no changes.

U-Understanding (how good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?)

- not very empathetic, but is very understanding. scaramouche lacks the ability to feel how you're feeling (is it because he isn't quite human?), but he does understand how you work and function, and the best ways to treat you depending on your mood.

V-Value (how important is the relationship to them? What is its worth in comparison to other things in their life?).

- since you're so important to him, you're about number two on his list of priorities, maybe almost tied with his work in the fatui. he can't stand people, but you've wormed your way into his heart, so he's not letting you go anytime soon.

W-Wild card (a random fluff headcanon?)

- any time you give him affection he's a little startled at first, but he comes to love it and eventually will ask you for hugs.

X-XOXO (Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

- yes but ONLY behind closed doors. he's afraid if he so much as looks at you lovingly his underlings will laugh at him, and he definitely can't have that. when you two are alone, however, he absolutely cannot get enough of your touch.

Y- Yearning (how will they cope when they are missing their partner?)

- angry angry angry and makes it everyone's problem. when you get back from your trip the mood is dark and agents are running up to you like you're their savior "OH GOD YOU'RE BACK THANK EVERYTHING PLEASE SAVE US."

Z-Zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind?)

- he would literally kill for you (please tell him not to)

[tickly-trashcan]

Hashira Headcanons

ahhh I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now!! finally getting around to it hehe so I hope everyone enjoys these! I had a lot of fun with them~ They’re also pretty long so they’re under the cut! I’m still working through headcanon requests I’ve just been really into demon slayer lately and wanted to get something quick out~

Giyuu Tomioka

he’s surprisingly ticklish?? like not screaming at a poke ticklish but more ticklish than one would expect

He’s also good at hiding it so not many people find out

That is, not many people knew until Shinobu found out and decided to point it out in front of all the other Hashira

When he was still training, he got tickled by Urokodaki a lot when he was training, and then by Sabito and Makomo when they were resting

He would always tickle Makomo and Sabito back (even though he ended up losing the eventual tickle fight anyway) but now he doesn’t really tickle people

He’s seen a lot and doesn’t laugh much, let alone smile

That said, some of the other Hashira tickle him sometimes, though it’s mostly Shinobu and Uzui, occassionally a poke from Mitsuri

It’s normally not enough to get him laughing, just enough to embarrass him though

Shinobu has gotten him to chuckle once and she’s never let him live it down

His most ticklish spots are probably his knees, sides, and his ribs

He almost never tickles other people, like he’s tickled Tanjiro once and it was very brief and accidental

I think he needs to laugh more though so like,,, get him Shinobu >:)

Shinobu Kochou

She’s really ticklish omfg 

She also has the prettiest laugh? it’s so elegant waaaa

Her tickle spots are her tummy, sides and waist!

Not many people know she’s ticklish, aside from Mitsuri and a few people at the Butterfly Estate

When Kanao found out she was ticklish she flipped her coin and it was tails, so she decided to tickle Shinobu a little bit and she just let it happen because she knew that Kanao didn’t have any ill intent with it

Giyuu tickled her once because she was tickling him and she wasn’t expecting it and squeaked it was pretty funny

She has the MEANEST teases omggg

“Surely this doesn’t tickle, hmm? It does? Oh my... but you’re a demon slayer right? What if a tickle demon came after you~?”

She’s just,,, ruthless man

She also love love lovesss those gentle tickles when she’s dishing out on people

She can find peoples bad spots easily and just go after them with her NAILS

She and Mitsuri get into tickle fights on occassion, but Shinobu normally wins because she can fluster Mitsuri easily and combined with the gentle nail tickles, Mitsuri’s a goner

She has lost sometimes though because Mitsuri’s really damn strong and when she gets on Shinobu’s sides her chances of winning go down dramatically

Kyojuro Rengoku

Rengoku, my beloved

He’s really not that ticklish, like he can get laughing or chuckling but it’s not easy

He only has a few spots, and I feel like one of them would definitely be his underarms

Like some of the other Hashira like Mitsuri or Shinobu have come up behind him and tried to tickle him and he’s like “Oh? A tickle fight? Cool!” and just pounces on them lmao

He’s definitely more of a ler than a lee, and he’s a really nice ler!

He compliments his lee, teasing on rare occassion and is just overall really fun and gentle too

Sometimes he can get a little rough but he always knows when to tone it back a little

He’s tickled the trio a little bit, especially Tanjiro who’s basically like his apprentice since he uses a similar breathing technique

He also tickles the other Hashira sometimes, mostly accidentally but other times just because he wants to

When he tickles people it’s mostly Mitsuri (which he gets glares from Obanai because of) and Shinobu, Obanai on occassion because of said glaring and just generally wanting to hear him laugh

He’s super playful in general but he’ll stop when asked to because he respects peoples limits

Tengen Uzui

Okay another one that’s not very ticklish unless you get really specific spots lol

He’s ruthless as a ler, and he’s seldom the lee so he doesn’t understand peoples limits and stuff

He has the LOUDEST laugh once you get him going though, part of it is just him being overdramatic though

His tickle spots are his hips and his ears, two spots that are harder to get oof

Similar to Rengoku he’s pretty playful, but most of that is because he’s just generally flamboyant

He doesn’t tickle people too often, but he has definitely put a target on people like Giyuu and Sanemi lol rip them

He’ll tickle people until they’re hiccuping or in silent hysterics, he’s one of the people that doesn’t really register the word “stop”

That said he’s nicer with people he likes, such as Mitsuri or Rengoku because of their upbeat nature

He likes people he deems flamboyant enough, and since those two meet the requirements he’s nicer to them when it comes to tickling

Muichiro Tokito

SWEET BABY BOY

okay so he’s actually really ticklish?? it’s so cute pls

He deserves gentle, sweet, and loving tickles, not the evil rough ones from Uzui lmao

Lighter tickles get him better than rough tickles anyway and he prefers when people are more gentle with him because he’s not a huge fan of being touched unless he really trusts the person

He’s ticklish pretty much everywhere, but some of his worse spots are his ribs, underarms and his neck

Teases don’t work on him, he’s completely oblivious to them lmao

He has the sweetest little giggle awww the other Hashira love to tickle him every so often just because he’s so cute and his face gets a little red too

He doesn’t really like being tickled unless it’s his friends or the other Hashira because he has respect for people closer to him

Mitsuri and Rengoku tickle him the most often, sometimes even together just to make him at least smile

He doesn’t tickle people very often because he knows if he initiates it with any of the other Hashira he’ll end up getting wrecked lol

He’s tried it before with Rengoku, never again

Mitsuri Kanroji

MITSURI KANROJI MY BELOVED

Super ticklish, absolute baby, deserves it just for being so cute

Her tickle spots are her tummy, hips, and her ribs!

She’s generally very ticklish and just loves tickling, both dishing it and taking

She likes to tickle Obanai and Muichiro especially, but she’s tickled pretty much every pillar or at least tried to

She has the CUTEST laugh it’s like,, a bit squeaky and snorty but in the most endearing and adorable way? idk maybe i’m biased because I love her but she’s definitely got a cute laugh

She’s really teasy and she doesn’t even mean to be, she just loves to laugh along with her lee and watch their face go red

She’s very squirmy and giggly when people tickle her and she’s the type to start laughing when people just wiggle their fingers at her

her favorite person to tickle is probably Obanai because she just thinks his reactions are really cute and she loves his laugh, but Muichiro and Shinobu are also people she likes to tickle hehe

If she has access and is close enough with the person she’s definitely the type to give people raspberries

Obanai Iguro

grrr this is gonna be so biased i love him too much

He’s very ticklish but he’s really good at controlling his reactions as long as he’s not caught off-guard 

His most ticklish spots are his hips, thighs, and his knees ouuGH

He has a really raspy laugh if anyone manages to get him to that point, for the most part he just gasps and chuckles occasionally

He’s not tickled very often and not even all the Hashira know he’s ticklish, only Mitsuri, Rengoku, and Gyomei really know that he’s ticklish and even then only Mitsuri and Rengoku actively tickle him when they’re not around the other Hashira

He’s really embarrassed with how ticklish he is so he doesn’t like people knowing, and the three that know respect that and don’t tell others

He doesn’t like being tickled either but he doesn’t seem to mind when Mitsuri does it but you definitely didn’t hear that from me hehe

Kaburamaru doesn’t mean to but sometimes he will like slither on Obanai’s neck and DAMN that tickles more than it should but he’s gotten a little bit more used to it as time has gone on

that said he still jumps a little bit if Kaburamaru does it really suddenly or quickly, or flicks his tongue near his ear or neck

Gyomei Himejima

He’s not very ticklish and doesn’t tickle people very often, so he’s left out most of the time when it comes to tickle stuff :(

There was one rare occassion, it was probably because Muichiro had been tired from a mission but Gyomei picked him up to help him to bed and accidentally tickled the poor boy 

Of course, that led to a few gentle tickles as well, not enough to make him hysterical but just enough to make him giggle a little bit before falling asleep

Gyomei’s probably ticklish on his feet and his knees, spots that others normally don’t tickle and he probably doesn’t even know he’s ticklish

Mitsuri and Rengoku, even Uzui have tried tickling him before but they don’t get much of a reaction so they’ve kinda given up on tickling him

Of course they invite him to help tickle someone else, like if they’re ganging up on Giyuu or Sanemi, and every now and then he’ll join in

He’s very gentle, he’s almost over concious of whether or not he’s hurting someone so his touches are very soft and people hardly ever feel them sometimes

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Not ticklish. at all

Even after he’s been tickled to tears by multiple people, he’ll never admit it

He hates it, he’s never liked it and definitely doesn’t like it now

He never initiates it and doesn’t tickle other people very often, but he’s like a toddler when he gets tickled he just turns into putty

He kicks and flails and throws threats out left and right, but he never acts on them because he’s too tired afterwards from kicking and screaming and laughing to actually enact any of his threats

His spots are under his arms and his ribs, specifically his upper ribs

He falls into hysterics pretty quickly just because he’s a drama queen but we still love him lol

He’s a bit,,, vengeful, but he doesn’t like to tickle other people that much

That said, the demon slayer code says that you can’t attack another demon slayer so he kinda has to tickle to get back

He’s a really hard tickler, he’s not good at it and it kinda hurts sometimes and he’s picky and choosy with who he actually gets revenge with

sometimes he’s really mean and gets revenge on someone who was walking by and is like “This is what you get for not helping me!” and its like what did they do?? literally nothing chill out Sanemi pls

He does target Giyuu sometimes though just because he’s an asshole lmao and he has like a vendetta against Giyuu for, again, literally no reason

That’s all I have for now, thanks for reading! 

pspsp if you wanna request any other demon slayer headcanons my requests for headcanons are open heheh~

[cinnamonest]

I’m pushing out another one of my long-since-drafted things to the queue bc I’m trying to start keeping the queue active 24/7 and fill more asks but have this in the meantime

//dark shit, like the blood gore violence kind of yandere not the hot kind, brief animal death, gruesome slow npc death, gore, violence, blood, decaying/putrefaction mention

I'm really bad at judging what's mild versus severe when it comes to gore/blood bc I tend to underestimate, I think this is kinda severe? Let me know which it is actually pls so I have a better idea for the future ---------------------------------------- I mentioned a while back in the corpse disposal post and murder methods post that Razor can be... Brutal to say the least, but to expand more on the concept I feel like there's a big potential for a sort of gap moe with him, a duality that seems to contradict itself. Because in many ways he's a sweetheart, always trying to find things to make you happy, often smiling with those wide, excited eyes, physically affectionate with nuzzles and the like. But the other side of that, he's not actually aware of how... desensitized he is. You notice it early on and it catches you off guard a bit the first time it happens. Some poor little animal you two see struggling, like a bird stuck in a tree, and you urge him to go get it and he nods and says ok. Grabs it, and just as you're about to thank him and let it go you hear its little bones snap under the crush of his grip with a final pained chirp. There, he got it, see? Now you two can eat it together. That was why you wanted him to grab it right? To kill it? Why else? He looks down and realizes oh, it's still twitching, so he reached a hand up and twists its neck. There, now it's dead, he says with a beaming smile. But it falls and he tilts his head when he sees the shocked look on your face. What's wrong? Why are you so upset? You soon learn a lot of the animals don't... die immediately. The little things the wolves drag back are still kicking and struggling, still making noises as they tear into them to devour. It makes you sick to your stomach when you witness it, tears come to your eyes. He knows you don't like it and warns you, but... he doesn't understand why? Why does it upset you like that? He doesn't get it. It's a gnawing awareness in the back of your mind. You start to pick up on his... lack of reactions to certain things. You were once in the church getting healing for a minor wound of his when another group of adventurers came rushing through the doors, desperately begging for help for their friend they were carrying... some guy seriously injured, gored by a boar. The sight is burned in your mind forever, the organs spilling out of his split gut, the shivering and wide, bloodshot eyes, the blood bubbling out of his mouth with choked horrific groans and the way his body convulsed involuntarily. The most horrid thing you'd ever seen. And you were pretty certain it was that way for everyone. Everyone in the church was gasping, some people were retching and trying to hold back sickness, people ran out of the room as they were unable to handle the scene, tears were in everyone's eyes, and as the man wailed in agony from them setting his dislocated bones, you watched the bystanders cringe and wince. Every person in the vicinity was visibly horrified.... except for one. Razor's face was neutral. Curious. He leaned in closer to get a better look, eyebrows raised. He doesn't flinch at the sight of organs spilling onto the ground and the man starting to convulse and foam at the mouth as his eyes roll back into his head. And then, after a moment, he asks if you're ready to leave, says he feels better now and that man is really loud, he doesn't like it. His voice doesn't even have the slightest hint of a wavering or discomfort. When you come across a man in the woods caught in a bear trap, you can barely stand to look at it. Just hearing the cries for help had you shivering, and the sight of the pooling blood and utter agony on the man's face had you gasping, hand over your mouth as you tried to look away. ...Razor didn't seem to mind, though. He just undoes the trap and, without giving the man any warning, yanks it apart, pulling the spikes from his legs. As he does, blood shoots out and splatters on his face. He doesn't flinch, nor when the man screams. He does finally seem to react to the pained groans the man makes. But... It's not like your reactions. He's not flinching and grimacing, drawing in sharp breaths and tensing up, eyes watering in pity and shock like you. Instead, his eyes narrow and he puts his hands over his ears as you stoop down to help the poor man. His eyebrows furrow. He almost looks... Annoyed. He draws his foot back as if he's about to kick him, but freezes with realization when he looks at you, as if he forgot you were standing there, and puts his foot back down. You're certain he wasn't actually going to do that, of course. You're not sure why he did that, but... He wouldn't do something like that, even in a moment of dissociation from his human awareness. He does volunteer to be the one to go get help, though, getting away fast, but for some reason you sense it was more out of irritation at the noise rather than horror at the whole thing. Perhaps the worst was the decomposing body, that day you took a walk in the woods together. He smelled it first, nose wrinkling up in disgust at the putrid smell. But it was strong enough that you smelled it soon after. He says having dead animals this close to the residence of the pack is not good, they all hate the smell, so he can try to move the carcass of whatever animal it is... but it's not an animal, it turns out, once you finally find the source, collapsed at the bottom of a cliff from where they most likely fell to their death. Well, it's kind of a stretch to say it still resembles a human either, but you can tell from the general shape. It's more just like a glob, putrefied and rotting flesh falling off the bones. It shocks you so much you fall backwards, but he just moves closer. Ugh, too far rotted to move, he can't do anything about it, he realizes as he gives the decaying mass a kick and watches the blackened flesh slide off the bones. Oh well. ...In your shock, it takes you a moment to realize how... unbothered he seems. Mildly annoyed by the smell, but his expression is neutral as he looks at one of the most horrifying sights you've ever seen, he just yawns as he walks away from it and says you two should get away from the smell, it makes his head hurt.

The events all linger in the back of your head. A growing sense of wrongness, a dark, cold dread that settles in your stomach as the occurrences slowly grow in number, one after the other, each time you notice the complete lack of any sign of disturbance on his face, in his voice or body language. You ask him once, one time when you get the courage to ask such a... potentially offensive question. Don't you... feel anything when you see things dying? When they're in pain? He nods. He gets what you mean. The feeling when you watch something die. Hungry, right? Oh, no? Maybe you mean the irritation, a kind of angry feeling, what's the word... impatient...? Because the thing is taking too long to die and he wants it to go ahead and die already. Or maybe you mean like when that man was injured? When something is dying but it's not something you wanna eat? Yeah, he has a feeling then too. Um... kind of like anger... you taught him the word once... annoyed? They make so much noise, and he doesn't like loud things. When that man came into the church... he didn't like how loud it was. Why didn't they just kill him, since he was making so much noise...? He doesn't get it. When things annoy him, he kills them, like loud birds and biting bugs. He kinda had an urge to just... reach out and make the man stop screaming, just twist his neck like he does small animals when they make too much noise. But he's smart, he says, he knows the other people might get mad. Yes, he uses the word "might," not "would," as if it was a mere possibility. So it doesn't really come as a surprise when the same attitude applies to the people at his own mercy, the people that get too close to you and end up dragged out to the woods. It's that same knowing dread in your gut, and while it horrifies you as much as it always has, you wouldn't have expected anything else. Maybe some people would feel bad about what they're doing, they would want to go ahead and get it over with, they couldn't take the begging and agony the other party is in... but not only is he totally unbothered, but if he kills him now, he says, the blood will go all over the ground, and that's bad, his lupical like eating the blood in things. So he just snaps the man's bones, that way he won't run away. It's hard to describe the excruciated noises that come out of the other's throat when he does. It's unlike any noise you've ever heard a human make, that kind of pain. The sweat that pours from the other's skin from the agony, the way his mouth hangs open even when he can't scream anymore, the trembling and muffled begging as he moves to the next limb. You tremble and cry. You shiver uncontrollably, you whimper for him to stop. Your eyes widen when he grabs each limb and you close your eyes and sob and grimace and cringe with the snapping sound. Razor, on the other hand, stays just as neutral as before. Face blank and empty, as if performing any other mundane task. He doesn't flinch at the snapping. His expression is unchanging at the sound of screams and the groans as he drags the still-living figure behind him by his shattered ankle all the way back home. When he finally goes to look back at you, he tilts his head at the look on your face. Why do you still look upset? There's no blood yet... isn't it blood that makes you upset? Maybe not? Maybe it's the sound that bothers you? Yeah, you flinch whenever the man groans in pain, so it must be the sounds of the dying things that you don't like, it annoys him too really. Ok, that can be fixed... sound comes from the throat right? Well, he left his claymore a ways away so, it'll just take a second, the guy is thrashing a bit but eventually he holds him still enough to get his teeth latched around his throat and just... bites down. The sound is a squelching, crunching sound, one that you'll never forget, it makes every hair on your body stand on end and your skin crawl. He pulls back with the mass of bleeding flesh and tracheal tissue in his jaws and spits it out on the ground. There, see...? You can see the blood on his teeth reflecting the light as he smiles. He's not making noises anymore, so... why do you still have that look on your face? Is it because the body on the ground is all... spasming and convulsing like that? Well, uh... that'll stop soon, probably. At least it's nice and quiet now. He gets it, really, he doesn't like loud noises either.

[yesimwriting]

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 

-- 

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn’t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 

“More than I should?” 

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 

“Kirigan--” 

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 

“I have to go.” 

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 

 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 

“Soon,” he promises again. 

--

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