#pls this was so self indulgent do not perceive me

[otakunyakumon]

—tomorrow is another day

ao3

so,, this is kinda a self indulgent fic after it stayed in my head rent free for days haha. congrats ur now an afton,,, ig. maybe for a limited time only with a dash of yk head injury. pardon me, i’m very rusty abt lore.

pls enjoy^^

ft. reader (crying child), a little michael afton.

tw. none

You open your eyes to find yourself lying on a strange bed in a room you don't recognize. The room is, well, plain. Look, you just woke up and can't muster the energy to describe what you're seeing right now. The bed feels soft and fluffy unlike the one you use. Nonetheless, it's too early for your own taste. You groan and turn beside you.

White eyes greet you across the bed and your heart leaps into your throat. You meet the creepy familiar bear's piercing stare. He lies beside you, his white eyes glowing in its black sclera. You look away, trying to shake off the unease that fills you.

You could almost imagine it talking to you, saying good morning . The thought of it makes you strangely giddy and happy.

Weird.

As you avoid the gaze at the familiar, yet eerie teddy bear, you can't help but feel a strange sense of comfort in the otherwise unsettling room. The stillness of the space is palpable, yet somehow the teddy bear's presence brings a sense of calm to your tired mind.

You know this is not your room, and you should be panicking or be afraid, but the feeling is missing. You don't even know why. Instead, you let out a heavy, resigned sigh, as if you've accepted your fate, whatever it may be. The air is sweet, and the smell of pancakes fills your nostrils. You turn back to the other side of the bed to attempt to go back to sleep again. You can feel yourself drifting off to sleep. For a moment, you think that Michael is in a good mood before coming to a halt.

—Who's Michael?

Your heavy eyes suddenly snap open in fear before something reminds you that he's not a threat. (Michael is mean but Dad is meaner. Michael would never do what Dad does—no he won’t—) You release a shaky exhale  and you are suddenly more aware of the feeling of boogers in your eyes as you blink through the blurriness in waking up. God, your eyes feel puffy. Did you cry yourself to sleep again? You lick your lips and find your throat is parched. You need water.

Rising from the bed, you observe your surroundings. The top half of the walls, up to about waist height, is a clean white, while the bottom half is a darker, almost greyish tone. The room is dim due to the lack of windows and the absence of artificial light. Only a sliver of light seeps in from the crack of the ajar door (for some reason, it gives you a sense of relief that you aren't locked in again, wait— again?) giving you just the right amount of light to see the room. You don't like how it all seems familiar to you.

Toys are strewn about on the floor near the white closet. It's a child's room, you think, judging from the items that were scattered. Some of them were oddly all purple in color. Perhaps they liked purple since they had two purple drawers too. You looked at the other side of the wall facing the bed, where the closet door is slightly open.  You have a foreboding feeling that something is in the closet.

You were about to crawl off the bed when you noticed something felt off. You looked down to see what was supposed to be your limbs. They were… small.

What?

You sucked in a breath. A feeling of unease takes over and starts to rise through your throat. Your limbs suddenly feel strange, as if they don't belong to you. Your eyes quickly sweep across the room to find something . With clumsy movements, you get off the bed and trip twice before you can make it to the drawer, pulling the one at the very bottom. It's as if you know where everything is despite the fact that you're in a stranger's body.

(but is it really a stranger if you have a sense of who it belongs to?)

Finally, you manage to get a hold of a mirror that you got from Liz. (who's Liz?) You stare at your reflection, trying to make sense of what's going on. Your heart races in your chest, and you can feel sweat forming at your palms. With trembling hands, you raise the mirror to your face, trying to make out your features through the fear that's sweeping through you like a storm.

You stare at your reflection.

No. This can't be real.

As you stare into the mirror, the reflection that stares back is not your own, but rather that of a young boy with a black and white striped shirt with messy brown hair to pair with. His- yours? dark eyes are puffy and red from crying the night before, and his expression is one of panic.

It's familiar and yet unfamiliar. The face that you've only known vaguely behind a screen is now staring right at you in the face. You don't recognise it but the shirt and the room is more than enough to clue you in.

(you don't think about a maw of teeth that will eventually bite your head off-—)

You breathe, not noticing you haven't been breathing while looking at the mirror. Your eyes burn with a sudden familiarity as your vision blurs. Tears run down your cheeks like a crybaby that you are. Suddenly, a sob escapes your lips, and before you know it, you're in the midst of a full-blown meltdown, your cries echoing through the room with the mirror left forgotten on the floor.

You don't notice the closet door opening frantically and warm arms holding you close, whispering comforts and shushing you as you cry and sob, though you're not sure why.

(you hear Michael shushing you to keep it down before Dad hears it. you know you should stop crying but you can't. Dad hates it when you cry. Dad yells at you about a perfect family and Uncle Henry and you keep crying. that's why he locks you up in this room—)

You don't know.

(you know but you refuse to acknowledge it. )

You cry for the loss of your old body, for the boy who cried too much, for the girl who just wanted to play, for the boy who wanted to play as a pirate and all the children that's already gone and about to be gone because of your new father. A red Foxy mask is dropped in haste but you ignore it in favor of gripping — Michael's , your mind supplied— gray shirt tightly, not wanting to let go, aware that you may never get to hug him like this again if it goes the same way you think it is.

The stuffed bear on the bed looks at both of your figures, its eyes unblinking and unemotional as the darkness around you begins to deepen, and you find yourself slipping into a peaceful slumber.

Perhaps…

Tomorrow is another day.

[kwanisms]

Accidents Happen — h.hyunjin, l.felix

» stray kids masterlist «

➮ witch!Felix × f!Reader × incubus!Hyunjin wc: 10.5k summary: While studying for a witches exam, Felix leaves his materials out where his girlfriend, Y/N, happens upon them. When she reads an incantation, an incubus is accidentally summoned. Deciding to make a spectacle of it, the demon forces Felix to watch as he seduces his girlfriend. genres/themes/au: angst, smut; supernatural, witchcraft, and demonic themes, establish relationship (Felix), s2l (Hyunjin); non idol au, witch au, demon au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, Felix practices witchcraft, alcohol consumption (Y/N has a glass of wine), Hyunjin is a menace and restrains Felix with his powers, sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! special taglist: @yoonguurt , @anyamaris , @wooyoungqueen , @kpop-stories-21 , @xsweetelegantdiasterx , @kookthief , @stardragongalaxy , @millennial-fangirl , @blankdyean , @imwithurmother , @bangchans-angel , @oreoqueen , @yjeonginlvr , @zdgx1 , @shuxsoo , @s00buwu , @queenmea604  , @pochaccomin , @katsukis1wife , @linos-catnip Join the taglist! »» Closes 10/30 @ 23:00 CST! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you. MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL NOT BE ADDED.

a/n: this one is kinda dark, not gonna lie so read with caution. This isn't a joke lol this is also kind of self indulgent cause I can. I used Google Translate again for the spell, so it might not be super accurate but I'm not really going for accuracy here lol it's smut. Thank you so much for reading, if you like this pls reblog or comment! As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only.

smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), unprotected sex (demons don’t care lol but you should), somnophilia, auralism, mind break, cuckold, use of pet names (Felix calls her angel, baby, but Hyunjin calls her slut, whore, etc), Hyunjin is a menace and Felix is a sobbing mess. Let me know if I missed anything!

dialogue prompt: ❛ I’m going to have you screaming by the end of the night ❜ & ❛ do you really think you’re in a position to be giving orders? ❜

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Witches. Beings that have existed all throughout history and have instilled fear in communities for centuries. Practitioners of dark magic. Beings that worship the devil and sell their souls in exchange for mystical powers. This was how witches were always perceived.

Only it was entirely wrong.

Felix had heard a plethora of names thrown at him all his life. “Witch! Devil-worshiper! Heretic!” The words had been shouted at him from various sources but he knew deep down they were only scared because they didn’t understand.

He was misunderstood, his practices were misunderstood, and magick was misunderstood.

Felix didn’t stand around a cauldron, stirring in weird ingredients like eyes of newts or tiger claws or whatever other things fiction thought sounded bizarre and outlandish. Felix didn’t even own a cauldron. He wasn’t that kind of witch. He focused more on summoning and conjuring. That was his school.

But even the conjuration school of magick had special items he needed in order to do his spells. For that he had to visit Arcana Infinitum. The shop was located in the back corner of the town square, nestled between the ice cream shop and a beautiful and old antique store named Pandora’s Box.

Ignoring the weird looks he got from mothers as they pulled their children along and hurried across the street to avoid him, Felix continued on, the heels of his boots echoing on the stone sidewalk as he walked down past Marino’s and turned the corner.

Arcana Infinitum was a sight for sore eyes after all the glares and stares as Felix had walked from his home he shared with his girlfriend to the town square. He tried to not let it get to him but to see so much hate and disdain in one place made him wonder if moving here to this small town was worth it at all.

Not that he’d ever bring this up with you, his girlfriend.

He crossed the cobbled street and reached the door to the shop and opened it, stepping inside and finding solace in the warm interior. It wasn’t entirely freezing outside but the light mist really made the chilly air bite at his skin, his cheeks and the tip of his nose a bright pink.

“Welcome to-- oh it’s you, Felix!” a voice said and the blond looked up to see one of his favorite shopkeepers smiling at him from the back of the shop. “Hey, Joong,” Felix said as he moved further into the shop, meeting Hongjoong halfway. “What brings you in today?” Hongjoong asked, reaching up to brush some of his bright blue hair out of his eyes.

He wore a simple white button down shirt with bell sleeves cinched at the wrist and black slacks. Over this he wore a simple off white apron. “I’m studying for my exam,” Felix explained, reaching into the small crossbody he carried and pulling out a folded piece of paper. “It’s for my conjuration exam,” he continued, unfolding the sheet and handing it to Hongjoong. “I need these items.”

Felix watched Hongjoong read over the list, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as the older man muttered to himself. “I should have all of this,” Hongjoong finally said. “Look around while I gather your materials.” Felix thanked him as Hongjoong moved to grab a small wire basket and started walking around the shop while he walked over to look at a display of postcards.

Most of them were for the town and all of them were hand drawn. “Who drew these?” Felix called as he looked over the cards. “Oh, that would be Yunho and San,” Hongjoong replied as he moved behind the wooden counter and started searching through the shelves on the back wall.

Felix continued to look around. He had reached a bookcase with old tomes and spellbooks. He ran his fingers over the spines of the books, reading the titles until one caught his eye. A dark purple hardback with gold lettering in Hangul. He grabbed the tome and pulled it from its place. It was heavy as Felix looked over the cover.

“When did this come in?” Felix asked, holding it up to show Hongjoong the cover. “Oh a few days ago!” Hongjoong said as he set the wire basket on the counter and started to add everything up. Felix walked over with the purple book in his hands. “Is it for sale?” he asked softly as he reached the counter.

Hongjoong looked up and smiled before returning to his task. “Does a bear shit in the woods?” he retorted, adding everything up on the calculator before putting in Felix’s discount. “Add this on to my order,” Felix said, setting the book on the counter as Hongjoong started to bag everything.

He picked up the book and put it in the bag and told Felix his total as the latter pulled out his wallet. “Even with the book?” Felix asked. Hongjoong shook his head. “Book is on the house. Think of it as a little slice of home.”

Felix pulled out a few notes and handed them to Hongjoong who promptly entered the amount into the register and put the money away, grabbing Felix’s change. “Tell Y/N I said hey,” Hongjoong said as Felix put his money away and picked up his bag. “I will,” he said with a smile.

Exiting the shop, Felix shifted the bag in his arms as his phone started to ring. He pulled it from his pocket and smiled as he answered it. “Hey babe,” he said softly. “Hey,” came your voice. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t his favorite sound in the world. 

“Are you home?” you asked.

“No,” Felix said as he started to walk across the street. “I ran by the shop to get some things for my exam,” he explained. “Hongjoong said to say hi by the way,” he added. You chuckled on the other side. “Of course he did. I’ll say hi next time I see him. Are you heading home now then?” you asked.

Felix could hear voices on your end of the line. “Yeah, hey, what’s that whispering?” he asked as he continued down the sidewalk, offering quiet pardons as he squeezed between other townspeople.

“Oh those are my coworkers and trust me,” you said. “They’re not whispering.” Felix heard a few soft apologies and snorted. “How’s work?” he asked and you sighed. “It’s alright. I wish I was home instead.” Felix laughed as he glanced up and down the street before hurrying across. “Don’t we all.”

You clicked your tongue in feigned annoyance. “You’re one to talk,” you replied. “I have a job!” Felix replied, sounding mildly scandalized. “I just don’t work in an office with a view of the city,” he added. You chuckled and no doubt shook your head. “When are you coming home?” Felix asked as he walked down the street towards your shared home.

“Soon,” you replied. “Cleo has told us she has an end of the day meeting we’re supposed to attend so we’re all in here waiting for that to start. It might run over if she’s any later. So I was wondering if you’d be able to swing by the grocery store and grab the things on the list?”

Felix stopped in his tracks at the bottom of the steps leading up into the house. “I just got home,” he murmured. “I can drop this off and go back,” he added as he started up the steps, sandwiching his phone between his ear and his shoulder and digging for his keys.

“No, it’s okay,” you replied. “I know you’ve got a lot of studying to do. I’ll just stop by on my way home. Dinner will just be a little late tonight,” you replied as Felix unlocked the doors and let himself in. He shut the door before Fanta, his orange familiar cat, couldn’t escape.

“Are you sure?” Felix asked as he walked past the living room and into the kitchen. “Mhm,” you answered. “Cleo’s just entered the room so hopefully this meeting can start and I’ll be out of here sooner than expected. Gotta go,” you whispered. “Okay, I love you,” Felix said quickly. “I love you, too!”

Felix smiled as he hung up the phone and turned to open a cabinet, grabbing one of the glasses and moving to the fridge to get some ice and water. Fanta jumped up onto the counter, letting out a croaky meow as Felix turned to look over his shoulder. “What have I said about jumping onto the counter, Fanta?” The animal let out a small meow before moving and hopping down.

Felix rolled his eyes, sipping on his water and scrolling through his feed. “The world is a crazy place,” Felix started as Fanta walked over to the back door and meowed, pawing at the wood. “You live in a nice warm house. You’re safe here. Why would you want to go outside where you could be killed?” Felix asked, walking over and picking up the cat.

Fanta meowed as Felix cuddled him close. “Oh, you’re so dramatic,” Felix muttered as Fanta struggled to get free before Felix let him hop down. “Fine. I try to show you love and you don’t appreciate it. I’m going to study.”

Felix set his empty glass in the sink and grabbed his purchase from Arcana Infinitum before heading upstairs. He set the bag on his desk and then headed into your shared bedroom and sat on the foot of the bed, reaching down to untie his boots. Had he been home, his mother would have hit him over the head for wearing his shoes all over the house but you didn’t seem to mind.

Once his boots were removed, he started changing into more comfortable clothes, tossing his black jeans and shirt into the hamper and pulling on some gray sweats and an oversized white tee.

Once he was comfortable, Felix returned to his study where he started to unpack the items he’d bought, setting them aside as he did so. He pulled out the purple Korean book of spells and opened it, eyes scanning the pages written entirely in Hangul.

Maybe he’d do a little light reading before studying. He’d gotten the book for free after all. Felix set the book on the chaotic and messy surface of his desk, turning the page, and started reading.

When you arrived home after stopping by the grocery store, it was much later than you liked. The meeting thankfully hadn’t gone on for very long and the bus to your small town on the outskirts of the city didn’t eat too much time either. It was when you arrived at the grocery store to pick up a few things that things went wrong.

As usual, one of the elderly ladies in the town had to stop you and lecture you about the uses of witchcraft and making deals with the devil. You had to explain for what felt like the millionth time that you weren’t the one practicing magick nor were you in the habit of speaking about your boyfriend like that. You reminded them that magick wasn’t harmful. It wasn’t like what the movies portray it as.

One lady in particular had held you up as you tried to check out until you told her to bugger off out of frustration, grabbing your bags and quickly leaving the store with your purchases. The walk back to the house wasn’t long either but it was still late as you let yourself in with your key, careful to make sure Fanta didn’t try another daring escape out the door.

You carried the bags over to the kitchen and started putting the cold items away. You’d picked up another tub of ice cream knowing you’d need some after the week you’d had. Once you had put most of the groceries away, you were working in the pantry when you heard a creak of wood above you.

“Felix?” you called, stopping your movements. When he didn’t respond, you decided to go upstairs and check on him. Climbing the steps one at a time you made your way up and at the landing, turned around the bannister and approached the door to his study.

You knocked softly but when there was no answer, you turned the knob and pushed the door open, peering in to find your boyfriend fast asleep, his head resting on his arms.

You smiled as you pushed the door open fully and stepped into the room. Reaching down, you brushed some of his blond hair back and then your eyes landed on a small strip of paper lying on the book he had open on the desk.

You picked it up and scanned the words curiously. It was in Korean, that much you could tell. Felix had taught you the Korean alphabet and how to pronounce the letters and he had taught you a couple words so you could at least read some things. You recognized one word on the paper but regardless you read the sentence aloud.

“Gajang gip-eun jiog-eseo neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda.”

You shrugged your shoulders and set the paper back down before turning to head back to the door until something caught your eye.The flame of a candle, dancing inside the glass. Stopping in your tracks, you turned back to face his desk and shook your head as you moved to the lit candle on the desk, leaning in to blow out the flame. 

“I don’t know how many times I’ve told you not to light candles if you’re going to fall asleep,” you murmured, gently stroking your boyfriend’s hair before exiting the room, closing the door with a click and returning to the kitchen downstairs to start dinner.

It had been a while since you’d made a nice home cooked meal, the two of you had been ordering out lately and you decided to do something nice not only for your hard working boyfriend but for yourself.

You seasoned and prepared the chicken, letting it marinate for thirty minutes as you prepared the vegetables and started your sauce in a pan. Once the skillet was oiled and heated, you added the chicken and let it sizzle for a bit before stirring it and added the veggies.

As you worked, you murmured the phrase you’d read earlier, turning it into a little song as music played in your head. You turned the chicken over again and finally poured the sauce in while some noodles boiled. “Okay, I need actual music now,” you said to yourself pulling your phone from your purse and turning some Mikazuki BIGWAVE on.

Felix awoke with a start, eyes snapping open as he looked around. He sat up, a loose page from his notes sticking to his cheek. He grabbed it and set it back on the desk before looking around. 

The door to the study was cracked open and he could smell something wafting through the air towards him. He looked down at his desk, the purple book lying innocently and looking back at him. Something was different. He noticed a small piece of parchment with Korean written on it.

He picked it up and read the sentence quietly. He didn’t like the words on it and shook his head, tucking the piece of paper away in the back pages of the book before marking his place and shutting the book. He could resume reading it later. He picked up the tome and set it on one of the shelves before getting up and stretching.

He pulled open the door, the smell of dinner getting stronger as he made his way out of the study and down the stairs. “Y/N?” Felix called. “In here!” He followed the sound of your voice and cooking into the kitchen where you looked up and smiled at him. He walked over, planting a kiss on your cheek, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back.

“It smells really good, babe,” he murmured, resting his chin on your shoulder. “It should be ready soon,” you said softly, giggling as he moved to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Mmm, you smell good, too,” he added, pressing a couple soft kisses to the base of your neck. “I’m not for dinner,” you replied. “Hmm, maybe for dessert?” he whispered, sending a chill up your spine.

“Dinner first,” you retorted. “No,” he whined, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Yes,” you said with a laugh. “Dinner first,” you set the spatula down and turned in his hold to face him, bringing your hands up to cup his face. “Then you can help me clean up and get your dessert after,” you added, pressing a kiss to his lips. Felix chased your lips as you pulled back.

“Fine,” he pouted as you turned back to finish dinner, adding the cooked pasta and giving everything a good mix as Felix moved to grab bowls from the cabinet. “There’s garlic bread, too,” you announced as he set the bowls on the counter and then grabbed two plates.

“What is it?” he asked as he moved to stand beside you. “Just a chicken recipe I found on Pinterest,” you replied struggling. “It’s got zucchini, red peppers, a white sauce and then chicken,” you explained as you turned the range off and started to scoop some pasta and chicken up to place in the bowls Felix held.

“Next bowl,” you said as you waited for Felix but he leaned in. “Pay the tax first,” he said, holding back a laugh. You rolled your eyes, kissing him before he moved the other bowl over.

Once the food had been served and you both had glasses of wine, you sat down and started eating. “This is so fucking good,” Felix said, covering his mouth with his hand. “You like it?” you asked, smiling at him. “Yes! I love it,” he replied, taking another bite.

“Good,” you chirped, taking a bite as well. “Neomu masisseo!” you heard your boyfriend say and you smiled.

Felix was placing another forkful of pasta into his mouth when he heard you mutter something under your breath. 

"Neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda." 

He froze in place and slowly turned to face you. You had picked up some noodles and placed them in your mouth, glancing up and smiling at him. He couldn't be sure if he heard you properly.

"What did you say?" he asked softly, making you glance up at him. "Hmm?" you asked quietly. "What did you just say?" Felix asked again. "Neoleul bulleonae gyeolsogsikyeo jugessda," you repeated.

Felix's eyes widened, leaning forward as you continued to recite the evocation he'd seen earlier. "Gajang gip-eun jiog-eseo--"

Felix clamped his hand over your mouth. He shook his head. "Don't," he continued. "Don't finish that."

Your eyes widened comically and you nodded as Felix finally let go and sat back in his chair. “Where did you even learn that?” he asked, watching as a look of confusion crossed your face. “From a paper in your study,” you replied. Felix mentally cursed himself for leaving things out.

He would just have to perform a spell of protection before bed.

“It’s just gibberish, right?” you asked, innocently. Felix forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly. 

“Just gibberish.”

After dinner, Felix helped you clean up, washing the dishes and handing them for you to rinse and set aside to dry. His mind was reeling with thoughts of what you might have summoned. He knew that piece of paper was a summoning spell. ‘From the depths of hell,’ he thought to himself. ‘It couldn’t have taken,’ he continued. ‘She only recited the evocation. She didn’t do the entire ritual.’

Once the kitchen was cleaned, you set your gloves on the edge of the sink to let them dry and turned to Felix, smiling at him. “Well,” you started, drawing his attention as he pulled his own gloves off. “You helped me clean up,” you continued. Felix nodded, looking around. “I always do,” he replied.

You raised an eyebrow at his reply. “Don’t you want your dessert now?” you asked, reaching forward to grab one of his hands. Felix’s eyes widened. Of course, how could he have forgotten?

“How about a movie first?” Felix offered. He wasn’t quite in the mood now but with some coaxing, he knew his mood could change quickly. You rolled your eyes and leaned forward, connecting your lips with his. “Fine,” you murmured against his smile. “A movie first, then dessert.”

You pulled him from the kitchen, leading the way into the living room and over to the couch. Felix sat down, grabbing the remote and turned the tv on as you settled in next to him. He flipped through the options, settling on one and starting the film quickly.

It only took a few minutes of your fingers playing with his hair for him to pull you onto his lap, hands on your hips as you grinded on him, moaning into each other’s mouths. “Fuck,” Felix groaned, hand resting on the back of your neck. “You’re so fucking hot,” he moaned as your hips moved, grinding against his erection.

“I need you, Lix,” you whined, hands resting on his shoulders. “You need me, yeah?” he asked, looking up at you through heavy lids. You nodded quickly, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “Fuck, I better give you what you need then, hadn’t I?”

You scrambled off his lap, taking his hand and pulling your boyfriend up the stairs, heading for the bedroom where you shut the door after him. Felix was on you as soon as the door shut, hands grabbing your hips and guiding you to the bed before he pushed you back onto the mattress, discarding his shirt and climbing on top of you.

“You’ve been locked away in your study so many nights,” you whispered as Felix kissed a path down the side of your neck. “Have I been neglecting you, baby?” he mumbled against your skin.

You nodded, breathing heavily as you felt his hands move to undo your pants. “I’m sorry, angel,” he continued as he started to pull your pants and underwear down, discarding them on the floor before pushing your thighs apart, settling between them on his stomach.

Your walls clenched around nothing as he eyed your glistening sex hungrily, licking his lips before meeting your gaze, his eyes boring into yours.

“Let me make it up to you.”

Felix awoke with a start, sitting up and gasping as he looked around the dark room. Light pattering against the window told Felix that it was raining. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he pulled himself from the tangle of sheets, glancing back at you sleeping peacefully beside him.

Glancing at the clock, the red numbers read three thirty-three. ‘The Witching Hour,’ Felix thought as he slowly got up from the bed, careful to not disturb you. He walked towards the bedroom door, turning the knob slowly and pulling the door open.

The hall outside was dark, the pattering of rain was louder as Felix cautiously stepped out into the corridor, the wood creaking under his bare feet. He stopped just outside the opened bedroom door and looked around, the small plug-in lights creating a line of lights along the corridor floor.

As he started forward towards the stairs, Felix turned his head towards the study. The door was shut firmly as he had left it earlier. He headed down the stairs, looking over the railing into the living room. Upon reaching the landing, he turned and walked into the living room, glancing around.

His eyes strained, trying to see in the low light. He saw nothing out of the ordinary and let out a sigh, now truly wondering what woke him up. He started for the kitchen with the idea of getting a glass of water when he heard a soft creaking to his left. He turned his head quickly, finding the small door under the stairs ajar.

Felix moved to one of the end tables between the sofa and the loveseat, turning on the lamp and adding some illumination to the room. He continued forward slowly, keeping his eye on the door until he reached it. Taking the knob quietly, he pulled the door open and reached inside, pulling the string for the overhead light.

Inside the tiny storage space, nothing was out of the ordinary. Everything seemed to be in place. Perhaps you had gone into this space earlier and didn’t get the door shut completely. Felix tugged the string, throwing the space into darkness before backing up and closing the door, making sure the latch clicked. 

He turned and headed into the kitchen, moving to grab a clean glass and get some ice water. As he was sipping on the water, he heard what sounded like knocking and looked up before moving around the counter and into the living room again. He strained his ears, listening for any sound over the soft pattering of rain on the roof.

He walked over to the door and peered out one of the windows on the side of the frame. He saw nothing and turned on the porch light, still seeing nothing. Shrugging, Felix turned the light off and headed into the kitchen to set his empty glass in the sink before making his way to the stairs.

Just as he was about to take the first step, a series of slow, heavy, and evenly paced knocks rang out from behind him. He froze and turned around to look at the door, his pulse starting to beat more heavily. He moved slowly, walking back to the window and peering out. Through the glass he could see a dark shadow standing on the porch.

He pulled back and stared at the door. ‘Who could it be this late?’ he wondered. Deciding to take another peek, his eyes widened when he saw the figure was gone. ‘I really shouldn’t open the door,’ he told himself. ‘But as long as I keep the outside door shut and locked it should be fine, right?’

He took a deep breath, taking the door knob in one hand as he turned the deadbolt, unlocking it with a click before he turned the knob and pulled open the heavy wooden door. The outside door was locked still as it was when he locked up the house for the night.

Outside the porch was empty, just like it had been the last time he peered outside through the window.  Felix leaned against the door, looking to the sides of the porch the best he could before he let out the breath he was holding. ‘There’s no one here,’ he told himself. “You’re seeing things,” he whispered, taking a step back and closing the door and engaging the lock.

He shook his head, chuckling to himself before starting up the stairs. As he reached the top landing, his smile fell as his eyes landed on the door to his study. The door that he knew had been closed when he went downstairs not twenty minutes ago was now ajar.

Felix glanced towards the bedroom and then back to his study as his feet slowly and quietly carried him forward. He reached the study and carefully pushed the door open, looking inside. The lamp on his desk was on but other than that, nothing seemed to be out of place.

Felix let out an exasperated sigh and stepped into the room and turned off the lamp, throwing the room into darkness. He glanced out the window, doing a double take when he noticed a dark figure standing in the backyard. He rushed to the window but the figure was gone. ‘What is going on with you?’

Felix shook his head and pulled the sheer curtains shut. As he turned back for the door, his breath caught in his throat. He could see a dark figure standing in the corner. His heart rate increased, a cold chill breaking throughout his body and a shiver running up his spine at the sight.

A dark heavy feeling settled in his stomach as his mouth started to run dry. ‘Just ignore it,’ he told himself. ‘It will go away if you ignore it.’ He focused his eyes on the door and started towards it, pretending as if he hadn’t seen the figure. Just as he reached the door, his body betrayed him and his head turned slightly to look at the dark figure which was now next to the door and next to him.

Felix’s lips parted but before he could call out for you, he felt a hand around his neck as the figure grabbed him, lifting him clean off his feet and slamming him against the wall quickly. Felix clawed at the hand around his throat as the figure leaned in, sniffing him before he heard a deep, almost demonic voice say “it’s not you.”

It let go of his neck and Felix fell to his feet, coughing as he reached up to massage his neck. The dark shadow pinned him against the wall, growling dangerously. “Wh-what do you want?” Felix managed to croak out, his voice hoarse and weak. “What do I want?” the figure asked. “I was summoned here.”

Felix’s eyes widened. The incantation, the one he told you was just gibberish. It had brought this? Was it a demon? Before Felix could voice any of his questions, the figure spoke. “I know what you are, witch,” it said. “But I also know you didn’t summon me, so tell me,” the figure continued.

Before it could ask its own question, a voice called out and Felix’s heart dropped into his stomach. “No,” he whispered as the figure turned its head, letting out a chuckle. “You’re not alone,” the demon said. “It must have been her.”

Before Felix could protest, the demon dropped him, throwing him to the floor. Felix looked up but the dark figure was gone. “No,” he said, scrambling up to his feet and rushing out of the study, his feet thudding against the wooden floor as he made for the bedroom.

Upon entering, he looked around wildly as you sat up and turned on the lamp on your bedside table. “What’s wrong?” you asked as Felix looked around and finally moved over to the bed, making sure to check under it before looking in the closet. “Felix?” you asked softly as he moved to look out the window into the backyard but saw nothing.

“Felix, what’s wrong?” you asked again as he moved to the bed and sat back down. “Nothing,” he answered. “I thought I saw something,” he added before waving his hand and pulling the covers back and draping them over his legs. “Let’s just go back to sleep, love,” he murmured.

You nodded, turning off the lamp and settled back under the covers, Felix wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “Goodnight,” you whispered as he placed a couple kisses on your shoulder. “Goodnight, angel,” Felix replied, his voice soft in your ear.

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but Felix awoke with a start, blinking rapidly as he looked around. He was no longer in bed. He was instead sitting in the chair in the corner of the bedroom. 

“What the-” he tried to push himself up but found he couldn’t move. ‘Sleep paralysis?’ he wondered before looking down and saw he was bound, quite literally, to the chair. White strips of cotton tying his wrists and ankles to the arms and legs of the chair.

“What the fuck?” he whispered, looking down and trying in vain to free himself.

“Don’t even bother,” a voice said and Felix looked up. The dark figure was standing in the corner, glowing red eyes looking at him and sending a chill up his spine. “You won’t be getting out until I’m done.” Felix stared back at the creature. “Done? Done with what?” Felix asked.

The figure began to move towards the bed. “Don’t,” Felix warned as the shadow stopped near the bed. Felix watched as the figure reached forward and turned on the bedside lamp near you. 

Expecting to see a grotesque demonic presence, Felix was shocked when a young man, seemingly no older than he, came into view. He had shoulder length blond hair that fell in soft waves, half of it pulled up into a ponytail with strands framing his face. He was tall and slim, wearing a fitted black suit.

“Don’t what?” the man asked, his voice smooth and clear. “Don’t touch her?” he continued. Felix struggled against the bonds holding him in place. “She summoned me, did she not?” he asked as one hand moved to take hold of the covers. “I said don’t!” Felix snapped.

The man looked up, his red irises burning into Felix. He moved around to the foot of the bed, bringing him closer to Felix’s position, and took a seat. “Do you really think you’re in a position to be giving orders?” the man asked, tilting his head to the side. Felix said nothing, only staring back at the demon.

“Don’t touch her,” Felix said again. The figure sighed and quick as a flash, the chair Felix was sitting in was pushed back, the demon had him in another chokehold. “I’ll do whatever I want,” he growled, his voice demonic and low again. “She summoned me. Not you.”

Felix stared up into the red irises. “So if I want to fuck her and make you watch, I will.”

Felix struggled to speak, spitting out the words. “Didn’t know--” The demon let go of his throat, watching as Felix coughed. “She didn’t know what she was doing. I’m the witch here. Not her. She doesn’t know what any of this is.” The demon let the chair fall back onto all four legs as he stepped back, tucking his hands into his pockets. “What’s your name, witch?” he asked.

Felix looked up at him, the position he was in made him feel inferior. Like he was beneath this creature. “Felix,” he finally spat out, the contempt and fury he held for the creature finally surfacing. “Felix,” the creature parroted. “Nice to meet you Felix, I’m Hyunjin.”

Felix narrowed his eyes. “I don’t care what your name is,” he started. “My girlfriend isn’t a witch. She doesn’t understand what she was doing so you need to leave her alone,” he hissed. The demon, Hyunjin, smiled again. “Do you know what she said in that spell?” he asked, cocking his head.

Felix nodded, not needing to think about it.

“Gajang--”

“In English, if you would please, Felix,” Hyunjin interrupted, the smirk on his face never faltering.

Felix glared at the demon, mustering as much hatred as he could.

“I summon you from the depths of hell and likewise bind you to me,” Felix answered finally.

“Exactly,” Hyunjin replied. “But she didn’t know!” Felix countered as the demon moved from the foot of the bed. “She was just reading it! She thought it was gibberish!”

Hyunjin turned to look at Felix, now standing beside your sleeping form. “Gibberish? How could she possibly think it was gibberish?” he asked. “Because she doesn’t understand Korean. She can speak the words and read them but she doesn’t know what they mean unless I tell her,” Felix explained as Hyunjin walked back over. 

“Are you being facetious?” the demon asked. Felix shook his head vigorously.

“I’m not.”

Hyunjin let out a sigh and stood up straight. “Regardless,” he started. “I was summoned. I have to complete the ritual.” Felix struggled against his restraints as the demon moved to your side of the bed. “Stop it please! Stop!” Felix pleaded. Hyunjin held up his hand.

“Shhh,” he whispered. “You’ll wake her.” ‘That’s it! Wake her up!’ 

Felix opened his mouth to call out to you. To wake you up but Hyunjin was on him in seconds, taking Felix’s chin in his hand. “Do it and I’ll gut you then I’ll snap her neck” he warned his voice deep and demonic. Felix’s eyes widened and he nodded silently.

Hyunjin let go of Felix and returned to the bed, sitting beside your sleeping form once again. “Y/N,” he said softly. Felix watched in horror as the demon gently brushed his fingers along your arm. “Y/N, sweetheart,” he continued and it dawned on Felix that Hyunjin was speaking in his voice. Felix’s own voice was coming out of the demon.

You murmured in your sleep, rolling onto your back, one hand resting on your stomach and the other falling onto Felix’s empty space. “Y/N,” Hyunjin repeated in Felix’s stolen voice. “Baby.” Felix felt his blood boil as Hyunjin’s hand cupped your cheek. “Get your hands off of her!” Felix snapped.

Hyunjin looked up, red irises glowing as he glared at Felix. “I warned you once,” he said darkly. “Don’t make me do it again.” Felix felt a cold shiver run up his spine. Something in the demon’s voice made him freeze up. “I won’t hesitate to snap her neck,” he threatened.

“So stop talking.”

Felix nodded, looking from the demon’s eyes to your sleeping form.

You tried to open your eyes but your lids were too heavy. You weren’t sure what woke you until you felt a hand on your cheek. “Y/N?” you heard Felix’s voice. “Y/N, sweetheart,” he said again. You murmured, uncertain of the words leaving your lips. You heard a chuckle. “Shh,” you heard Felix say again.

“Felix,” you finally whined as you felt the sheets being pulled back. “I’m right here,” you heard him whisper, feeling his hand moving up your thigh to your hip, pushing your sleep shirt up past your hip. “Mmh, Felix,” you mumbled as his hand moved back down, dipping between your thighs.

“Oh shit,” you gasped, back arching as your fingers dug into the sheets. “Shh,” your boyfriend whispered again. “Let me take care of you.”

You felt his fingers push your panties aside, teasing your entrance, parting your lips and finding your clit. You let out a moan as he drew slow circles on your clit. “That’s it,” you heard him coo. “Part your legs for me.” You did as he asked, spreading your thighs. “Good girl,” you heard him purr. “So good for me. So obedient.”

Your lips parted in a moan as you felt his fingers sink into your heat. “Oh fuck,” he groaned, slowly pumping his fingers in an out of your cunt. “I can’t wait to be inside you,” you heard him whisper in your ear, his breath hot and heavy against your skin. “You want that?” he asked, chuckling softly as your walls clenched around his fingers. “Yes,” you breathed, tongue darting out to lick your lips.

You felt his lips connect with yours, moaning into his mouth as you felt his fingers curl upwards. “F-Felix,” you moaned, one of your hands moving to grab his wrist as he sped up his movements, thumb rubbing against your clit in time with the thrust and curl of his fingers inside you. “I’m gonna--” you gasped, thighs twitching as your orgasm approached.

“I know,” he replied. “So do it,” you heard your boyfriend groan. “Cum for me, baby girl. Come on my fingers.” 

Your back arched, a high pitched moan leaving your lips as you came around your boyfriend’s fingers. You felt his fingers slow to a halt before he carefully removed them, leaving your walls clenching around nothing. “Good girl,” you heard his voice.

You felt the bed shift as he moved. “Lix?” you called out, eyes fluttering to open. You felt his breath hot against your core. “I’m right here, baby,” he replied, hands resting on your hips. “Keep those pretty thighs open for me.”

You relaxed, head falling back against the pillows as your eyes struggled to stay open. You let out a whimper as you felt his tongue against your clit, slow deliberate licks until his lips connected with your clit, softly suckling, teasing occasionally with his tongue. 

Your body shuddered, sensitive after your first intense orgasm. The slight burn only added to the pleasure as your boyfriend continued to toy with your clit, bringing you to the brink only to pull back at the last second, leaving you teetering on the edge.

“Felix, please,” you whined. “Please let me cum.” 

You felt him chuckle against you. “Only because you asked so nicely, baby,” he murmured. Your hand moved, fingers threading through his hair as his tongue moved against your clit, each flick bringing you closer and closer until you finally came with a mewl, thighs threatening to close on your boyfriend’s head, but he managed to keep them open, allowing you to ride out your high until your body shuddered from sensitivity.

“Lixie, please,” you whined. You felt him press light kisses along the inside of your thighs, giggling when he playfully nipped at your skin. “That tickles,” you breathed. You felt the bed shift, Felix kissing up your hip, playfully sinking his teeth into your skin before continuing kissing up your body and the side of your neck. “God you’re so pretty,” you heard him whisper in your ear.

“Felix,” you giggled as his hands skimmed over your body, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You felt him smile against the skin of your cheek, breath fanning over your ear. “Crazy thing actually,” he said softly. 

“I’m not Felix.”

Your eyes snapped open. The first thing to greet you was the red lighting of the room. It was your room but it also wasn’t. You gasped as the man on top of you lifted his head and you finally got a look at his face. He was handsome, extremely so with plush peach lips and shoulder length blond hair. His red irises burned into your eyes and you found it hard to look away.

“Hello there,” he said, his voice no longer masked by your boyfriend’s voice. “What the f--” you started but he pressed a finger to your lips, effectively silencing you. “Shh,” he said softly. He pulled his hand back, replacing it with his lips. You pulled back. “What’s going on?” you asked.

“Who are you?”

He smiled, tilting his head as he studied your face, before cupping your cheek. “I’m Hyunjin,” he answered, thumb stroking your cheek. “Where am I?” you asked, trying to sit up but his weight prevented you from moving. “You’re in your bed,” he replied. 

He turned his head to the side and you followed his line of sight where you saw a floor to ceiling mirror taking up most of the wall beside your closet. That definitely wasn’t in your room.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the mirror. The mirror clearly wasn’t reflecting what was happening around you. Instead, it was almost like a window to your room where you saw yourself sleeping peacefully in your bed, Felix beside you.

You turned your head back to look up at Hyunjin. “Is this a dream?” you asked and Hyunjin nodded slowly. “It is,” he confirmed before leaning down, pressing another kiss to your lips. “Doesn’t that make me a bad person? Dreaming about another man?” you asked, feeling your breath catch in your throat.

Hyunjin’s free hand had slipped between your bodies and was slowly dragging up and down your slit. “No,” he answered, shaking his head. “I’m merely a figment of your imagination, Y/N,” he explained. “When you wake up, you won’t even remember this.”

Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt Hyunjin’s fingers push into your cunt again, lips parting as you moaned. “Oh f-fuuuck,” you moaned, back arching. Hyunjin chuckled, dipping his head down to kiss down the side of your neck. “That’s it, pretty girl,” Hyunjin whispered in your ear.

“Don’t worry about anything else. Just listen to the sound of my voice.”

Felix glared at the demon hovering over you, his head was ducked, lips near your ear as he whispered. You were stirring in your sleep, whimpers and moans leaving your lips despite his hand not even leaving your cheek. “What are you doing to her?” Felix asked softly, knowing full well the demon could hear him.

Hyunjin pulled back and turned his head to look at him, his red irises glowing still.

“I can’t just physically take her,” Hyunjin explained. “I have to infiltrate her dreams first,” he added.

“Come on, Lix,” Hyunjin said with a smirk and Felix narrowed his eyes. “You’re a witch but you know all of this. This is amateur stuff.” Felix gritted his teeth as Hyunjin turned his attention back to you as you whispered a word. Felix felt his stomach drop.

You had whispered a name. Hyunjin’s name.

Felix felt a pang. A stab of betrayal but he couldn’t focus on that. He knew you were in some kind of trance. It wasn’t your fault.

“Perfect,” the demon said softly and moved his hand to grab the covers, pulling them back. “Don’t touch her, please,” Felix pleaded. Hyunjin ignored him, pulling the covers down to the foot of the bed. “Don’t touch her!” Felix hissed as Hyunjin slowly ran his hand up your leg.

“What are you gonna do?” Hyunjin asked, turning to look at Felix, a smirk on his lips. 

Felix struggled against his bonds as Hyunjin moved slowly, unbuttoning his top and shrugging it off. His skin seemed to have an aura to it and he glowed. Hyunjin’s hand moved to remove your shorts, pulling your underwear with them. “Please,” Felix begged, feeling his eyes burn as tears started to form.

Hyunjin scoffed as he discarded your clothes, pushing the hem of your shirt up to expose your chest adorned in soft pink lace that left little to the imagination. “She wear this specifically for you?” Hyunjin asked, turning to lock eyes with Felix who tried to free his hands.

His eyes widened as the sound of fabric tearing met his ears. Hyunjin had ripped the bralette down the center, exposing your breast. “Stop, please!” Felix sobbed, pulling violently at his bonds, his eyes squeezing shut as he struggled. He heard Hyunjin click his tongue. 

“Now, now,” the demon said mockingly. “You’re going to miss it if you aren’t watching.”

Felix opened his eyes to glare at the demon, his lashes wet with tears that had finally spilled, staining his red cheeks.

Hyunjin’s smirk widened. “Great. Now that I have your attention,” he said as he undid his belt and pulled it free, letting it fall to the floor with a clatter, hands moving to undo the button and zipper of his pants.

“Enjoy the show.”

“This feels so wrong,” you whispered as Hyunjin kissed down the valley of your chest. “Oh,” he said softly against your skin. “But it’s not real,” he reminded you. You let out a sigh, moaning as he sank his teeth into your skin. “Then why does it feel so real?” you gasped as he kissed his way back to your lips.

“Are you telling me you’ve never had dreams that felt real before?” he mused, not giving you a chance to answer as he took your lips in a messy, wet kiss, tongue moving against yours languidly. “No, I have,” you replied when he pulled away. “But they’ve never felt like this.”

Hyunjin chuckled, pushing his long tresses from his face as he knelt between your thighs. You hadn’t had the chance to notice until now that he was entirely nude. Your eyes traveled down his chest, taking note of his slim but toned body already glistening with a layer of sweat.

Before your eyes could continue past his navel, he clicked his tongue, almost in disapproval and you glanced back up to meet his gaze. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that it’s rude to stare?” he asked teasingly. 

You felt your cheeks burn under his heated gaze as he chuckled, his hand moving to push your knees further apart, spreading you more for him. You glanced quickly down, your own body obscuring your view of his cock as he guided the tip to your entrance.

“And you promise this isn’t real?” you asked softly, causing him to look up from where your bodies were about to connect. He gave you a breathtaking smile and nodded. “I promise,” he replied softly.

“None of this is real,” he added before slowly pushing into you. You let out a gasp as his length glided easily into you, stretching you open yet you felt no pain. No sting that usually accompanied the stretch.

It was entirely unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. It was different from how Felix felt. Hyunjin was bigger, not just in stature. “Relax,” Hyunjin whispered, moving one of his hands to your thigh, rubbing soothingly. “That’s it” he continued as he glided further.

“Relax and let me in.”

“So f-full,” you murmured as you felt Hyunjin bottom out. He chuckled, his hand moving from your hip up to gently grope your chest. Your walls fluttered around his cock, gripping him tightly. “Such a responsive slut,” he chuckled and you moaned loudly. 

Hyunjin gave you a couple slow thrusts, allowing you to feel every curve and ridge of his cock before he set a steady pace, pumping in and out of you at a torturously slow speed.

“Faster,” you gasped as you felt his thumb brush over your nipple. “Faster?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. “Please,” you pleaded. “Want more. Need more.”

Hyunjin chuckled, his hand moving back down to your waist. “If that’s what you want,” he replied, picking up the pace, his hips hitting yours with each thrust.

Your back arched off the mattress, moaning wantonly. It wasn’t like you shared any walls with any neighbors and regardless, this was a dream anyway.

Felix watched Hyunjin parted your thighs. From his position, he couldn’t see much but the demon had you completely naked and spread out before him.

“Please,” Felix sobbed softly as he turned his gaze away. He could hear your soft moans and the thought of watching another man have you the way he had you, the thought of another man making love to you, had his stomach churning.

“You’re going to want to watch this,” Hyunjin called but Felix shook his head, refusing to look.

“Watch this or I’ll snap her neck,” the demon snapped, his deep gravelly voice enough to force Felix to look back. He could tell Hyunjin had bottomed out, cock shoved inside you. “Just stop please!” Felix cried.

“Why won’t you just leave us alone?”

The demon chuckled but punctuated it with a groan as he pulled back, hips snapping forward and driving his cock back into your walls. You let out a moan, eyes still shut as Hyunjin set a steady pace.

“She gave me permission, you know,” he heard the demon say and Felix glared at Hyunjin. 

“She’s asleep. How can she consent to this?” he growled, anger flooding his senses. Hyunjin chuckled, his hands moving to your hips and holding you in place as he continued you fucked you against the mattress.

“You like that, Y/N?” he asked, addressing you directly.

You moaned in response. “Words, sweetheart,” Hyunjin said, his voice steady and calm despite the way his hips moved. “Y-yes,” you choked out. Felix’s heart skipped a beat. ‘It’s not real. He has her under some sort of spell. She doesn’t know what’s going on!’ he told himself.

“She’s really enjoying herself,” Hyunjin said, addressing Felix now.

“Such a good little slut,” Hyunjin scoffed, giving you a harsh thrust, making you cry out. “Don’t hurt her!” Felix sobbed. “Please. Just… don’t hurt her,” he repeated. The demon chuckled lowly but said nothing else, slowing his thrusts to a roll. Your moans came from the back of your throat, deep and almost guttural.

“Hyun-Hyunjin!” you gasped. Hearing you say another man’s name had Felix crying harder. He felt entirely powerless. He could do nothing but sit there and wait for the demon to finish having its way with you and leave. He could do nothing but watch.

He hated the demon. He hated Hyunjin. And most of all, he hated himself for bringing that book into the house. Had he known, he never would have brought it in. He would have left it in Hongjoong’s shop for eternity. When everything was said in done, he would have to return the book to the shop in the morning.

“Oh fuck,” he heard Hyunjin growl. “She’s so fucking tight,” he continued. “Are you even fucking her properly?” Hyunjin scoffed, his voice strained. Felix felt anger and jealousy bubble up in his chest.

How dare he imply Felix didn’t satisfy you. The two of you had always been honest and communicated about your sexual needs with one another and never once had you expressed anything other than satisfaction. You often praised his performance. 

You let out a small moan, almost a whimper of pleasure and it made Felix’s heart sink in his chest. He hung his head, silent tears falling from his eyes onto the material of his gray sweats. ‘Please let this end.’

“Fuck you feel so good,” Hyunjin murmured, slowing his hips and pulling from you. Letting out a whine, you reached for him, protesting as you felt him leaving your walls empty and aching for his cock to return. “Come here,” he said softly, grabbing your arm and gently but firmly pulling you up and flipping you over onto your stomach, facing the mirror.

He was behind you, pushing your knees apart with his own and guiding the head of his cock back to your waiting hole. You moaned as he slipped back in easily, his hips meeting your ass as he buried himself balls deep inside you. “Hyunjin,” you gasped.

He leaned over your back, keeping himself propped up as he wrapped his arm around your chest and resumed thrusting into you, the new angle allowing his cock to hit deeper and making you cry out. “Oh sweetheart,” he panted in your ear. “I’m gonna have you screaming by the end of the night,” he murmured before throwing all caution out the window. 

Your fingers dug into the sheets under you as he pounded into you, the sound of skin on skin filling the room but not covering the sounds of your whimpers and moans.

Your mind went blank, almost numb as all thoughts left your mind and the only thing you could focus on was the mounting pleasure in the pit of your stomach and the flexing of Hyunjin’s muscles around you as he tightened his hold on you, hips slamming against your ass. Your moans and cries growing in pitch. 

“That’s it,” Hyunjin grunted in your ear, his voice dropping an octave. “Scream for me. Say my name.”

“H-Hyunjin,” you sobbed, your body writhing under him from the intensity of the pleasure coursing through your veins. “Louder,” he ordered. “Scream it.” You cried out his name as he rammed all of his length into you at once, driving the head of his cock as far as he could and you swore you felt it in your stomach. ‘Is it bigger than it was a minute ago?’ You were sure he wasn’t that big before.

“What’s the matter, baby? Cat got your tongue?”

You moaned, head lolling as he thrust into you harder. “Am I fucking you that good? Has your mind gone completely blank?” You moaned in response, eyes fluttering shut as your walls spasmed around his cock, gripping him tightly.

“Fuck, keep squeezing my cock like that and I’ll cum,” Hyunjin growled in your ear. “You want that, don’t you? Want me to fill this pretty cunt with my cum.” Your walls clenched around his cock again and his hand moved up, taking your jaw in his hand. 

“Open your eyes, slut,” he growled. Your eyes fluttered open. The reflection in the mirror had changed. You were looking at yourself. Facing yourself with Hyunjin behind you, his red irises glowing in the dark and burning into yours.

His appearance in the mirror had changed slightly. Half of his blond hair was pulled up into a ponytail and two black horns were protruding from his forehead, curving back over his head and the tips curling inward on themselves. Your eyes widened. What the fuck were you seeing? Was this still a dream or was this real? The line between dream and reality had blurred and you couldn’t tell anymore.

“What are--” Hyunjin tightened his grip, holding your jaw in place. His sharp, pointed nails digging slightly into your skin. “Stop talking,” he growled. “Just lay there and take it like the whore you are.” Your walls clenched around his cock at the degrading name he hurled at you.

“Look at you,” he chuckled lowly. “So desperate to get fucked you’d let any man have you, isn’t that right?” he asked. ‘No,’ you thought. ‘That isn’t true.’ The truth was that you only wanted Felix. You only wanted your boyfriend. Even with this stranger fucking you in your dreams, you wanted Felix.

“No,” you answered, trying to shake your head but the demon’s grip was too strong. “I wasn’t asking you, slut,” he scoffed. You met his burning gaze in the mirror. ‘Not asking me?’ you wondered. ‘Who could he possibly be talking to?’ It was then you noticed something else just on the edge of the reflection.

A body sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. Your eyes widened. ‘Felix?’ It was indeed your boyfriend. His head hung in shame, wrists bound to the arms of the chair and his ankles likewise bound to the legs of the chair. “F-Fe-lix?” you stammered. At the sound of your voice, your boyfriend raised his head, eyes meeting yours in the mirror.

“No,” Hyunjin growled. With one final thrust, your eyes rolled back as your orgasm hit you. You felt Hyunjin tense on top of you, his own orgasm washing over him as he released inside you. You could feel the warm gush of cum enter your cunt and the stalling of Hyunjin’s hips as he buried his cock inside you before everything went black.

Felix woke with a start, sitting up and crying out.

It was morning. He looked around quickly, eyes scanning the room but he saw no sign of the demon Hyunjin nor did he see any sign of you. He glanced down and noticed he was naked. He looked around for his clothes. 

‘What the fuck happened last night?’ he wondered as he turned, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and leaning forward, resting his elbows on his thighs as he covered his face with his hands. He pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, not enough to hurt but enough that the blackness of his vision was littered with stars.

He finally pulled his hands from his face and sat up straight, inhaling deeply before letting it out. His clothes were on the floor beside the bed and he snatched them quickly, pulling on his sweats and then the shirt. He made his way over to the door, turning the knob and opening the door.

He was greeted by the sound of sizzling and the smell of bacon. He allowed his feet to carry him into the hall and to the top of the stairs where he heard soft voices and your light laughter. He hurried down the steps and turned around the railing to enter the living room.

In the kitchen, you stood at the range, cooking breakfast. You looked up, smiling as you met his gaze.

“Well good morning, sunshine,” you said as he stood in the doorway. “We have a visitor,” you continued, nodding towards a figure sitting at the table, hidden from Felix’s view with a newspaper. Felix murmured an apology as he walked into the kitchen, scratching the back of his head as he moved around the counter and over to where you stood, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Morning,” he murmured and moved to pour himself a cup of coffee, preparing it the way he liked before he sat at the table across from the figure. You moved to set a plate of food in front of Felix, a spatula in one hand and donning your pink apron. 

“You didn’t tell me your cousin was coming to visit,” you said, lighting patting his shoulder as Felix picked up his fork. His eyes widened as you turned away and headed back into the kitchen. Felix turned his gaze from your figure to the newspaper before him. ‘I don’t have a cousin.’

You prepared another plate and walked over to set it in front of the guest. “Oh,” he said with a chuckle. “Thank you,” he added in an all too familiar voice.

A voice Felix thought had been part of the horrible nightmare he’d experienced.

He watched in horror as the newspaper lowered and the familiar face of Hyunjin appeared with a smile. “It’s just like Felix to forget to mention me,” he said as you moved back to load the last plate and take a seat between Felix and the demon now sitting at his dinner table, enjoying a breakfast cooked by you, his loving girlfriend.

How did you not recognize Hyunjin after last night? Did you forget everything? If the oblivious smile on your lips was anything to go by, Felix could assume you’d forgotten the events of last night.

“We had a rough night last night,” you said, turning your gaze on your boyfriend and smiling at him sweetly. “I hope he wasn’t too rough on you,” Hyunjin joked and Felix watched the way you inhaled a sip of your water and started coughing. 

Before he could react, Felix watched with a mix of anger and jealousy as Hyunjin leaned forward and patted your back firmly, a look of concern crossing his features. “Are you alright, Y/N?” he asked. “I’m sorry,” he continued. “That was inappropriate of me.” You shook your head, taking another sip of water. “No, it’s okay,” you said, waving your hand.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Felix’s knuckles turned white, his grip on his fork handle tight as he tried to decide whether he should eat or stab Hyunjin in the neck. “I’m also sorry for dropping in like this,” Hyunjin explained. “Unannounced. It’s just that I’m passing through and haven't seen my dear cousin in so long.” Felix narrowed his eyes at the demon, wanting to smack that smug grin off his face.

You smiled kindly at Hyunjin. “Well you’re more than welcome to stay with us for a few days,” you offered and Felix felt his heart sink, his stomach dropping simultaneously as he looked from you to Hyunjin who was already looking at Felix. “That’s so kind of you,” Hyunjin replied, staring directly at Felix, his red irises burning into the latter’s eyes, holding his gaze.

“I think I’m really going to enjoy your hospitality.”

ⓘ Graphics made by me. Content and support banners made using a template by cafekitsune. I do not allow reposts, translations, or continuations of my works. All writing and graphics are ©️ kwanisms.

[nekovmancer]

erm erm hi is it alr if you do Cole Cassidy x socially awkward reader who has a hard time standing up for themselves, had a bit of a weird day and yadda yadda

pls and thank uu ( ´∀｀)

Cole Cassidy with a socially awkward reader

warnings: very light mentions of low self esteem, reader struggling with their issues etc etc but nothing that may be triggering

a/n: hello, anon! I am so sorry to hear you had a bad day. ): I hope things are better now! So- being someone who is socially awkward and just recently got an autism diagnosis that explained EVERYTHING- let’s just say I was really eager to dive into this one and I may be very, very self-indulgent (and descriptive, oopsie). 100% fluff and sfw, but let me know if you want to spice things up!

Relationships never came smoothly for you, mostly because it takes a hard time figuring out how to actually start them and keep things going without tripping on the stones along the way. Yes, you have a few friends, that are enough, and you are in a relationship with an amazing boyfriend… still, you’re not a social butterfly, and sometimes you find yourself struggling with communication, especially in bigger groups; a plus if there are more strangers than acquaintances

On a daily basis, you like to go by your agenda on your own. If it means work or your spare time, your own company is fine, thanks. It’s not like you hate being surrounded by others, but… ok, crowds make you uncomfortable, but apart from that it’s just a personal preference. Alone, you can concentrate, be inside your own world… let your mind lose a bit from self-consciousness and pre-made conversations to assure you’d succeed this time

People would point you out as weird, and you know they’re right: you’re indeed different. It’s hard to be casted out merely for being who you are, and you do try your best to blend in, make small conversation, mimic what everyone else around you did. Still, you could never leave your own skin to be something else

But in Cole’s eyes, that’s exactly what made you special. You see the world through different colors, and spoke with such a burning passion about your interests, an expert over the small details that no one else would care for, that doesn’t matter if he hasn’t a single clue on what that’s about, he will listen to whatever you have to say and follow along as it’s the most amazing subject brought up through all the existence 

“You’ve got such a beautiful brain right there,” during one of your conversations, he would compliment you out of the blue, leaving you speechless as a warm feeling crawls from your neck to your face, spreading through your cheeks. It takes a while for you to absorb his words, in between a few blinks and him sheepishly winking at you. “Don’t know why I’d be surprised. It matches your looks.”

You were astonished to perceive him, a popular figure amongst Overwatch and the whole damn world for sure, was giving you so much attention. On the other hand, you suppose Cole could make small talk of a stone if he wanted to; the cowboy had a charisma bigger than his ego, that’s for sure 

But the little things… they’re enormous in meaning; and his actions speak louder than his words. Cole would always choose to sit by your side and bring up the chit chat, asking about your day or what you had for lunch if he wasn’t there with you; and saints save you if your reply is that you hadn’t eaten yet. He’d show interest, and damn! He even begin to read your favorite trilogy because all you did was speak of it nonstop, so he had to check it out by himself to make sure you have a good taste

His company always made you feel appreciated, something you couldn’t bring up on yourself alone; you enjoyed being on your own, but you didn’t enjoy yourself actually. And by the point the things between you start to get more serious than just long talks going on and on about your shared enthusiasms, you’ve already realized there’s nothing wrong with you, nor the way you speak, less who you are

Finally, you’ve stopped trying to change yourself just because it would please anybody, but you. Communication skills may not be your highlight, but was it all? Of course not. You have so much inside of you that must be cherished, instead of blaming yourself because a single conversation went wrong

But that brutal change failed to reach another significant point. You couldn’t stand up for yourself, no matter what. Usually, you just low your head and… let it be, no matter how harsh are the words you’re listening to or how perfectly fit the arguments you construct in your head are, enough to end the term. But the unspoken is cruel as it is, leaving unfair gaps of what could’ve been if you only had the courage to vocalize the damn words

It’s easier said than done, right? Or better: easier imagined than actually said. Anxiety is an overwhelming feeling that tingles under your skin with the mere thought of taking action, three times worse if you’re under pressure or being scolded for something you did. No matter how much you think of a response, it will die right on the tip of your tongue, and leave your mouth tasting like ashes 

And when all of it hits you, it’s too much. You just seek your comfortable loneliness to let it out. Though, you’re not so lonely now

“Darlin’, the world won’t end if you speak your mind for once,” Cole was your anchor, keeping you from drifting away, and he never failed from being physically reassuring: embracing you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear or even wiping your tears away if you’re stressed enough to let them out. Despite it, he was the very first to encourage you to fight for yourself, pushing you off the limits of your carefully built comfort zone. “I will be there for ya’ anytime, but I’m sure as hell you don’t need me for it.”

Maybe you don’t, and maybe he’s right… but Cole is also warm, and has an incredibly good chest for you to snuggle your face on and just lay there for hours, nonstop; safe as he soothe your sadness away, as if he was simply shooing a fly from the room

Silence will settle, but not for long. Cole holds on your chin, his thumb caressing the skin as he pushes you gently to stare at him. Something in his eyes gets you out of guard, and your heart fails a beat by the sight of his tenderness, pouring through his expression. “Promise something, would ya’?” you can barely blink as he speaks, a hand running up and down your spine until it abruptly stops as you nod for him to keep going. “You’re the most marvelous being I’ve found in this whole world. Never let anyone make you think you’re less than that.”

[nightcolorz]

For the ask game: ❤️💚💙

YAYY thank u sm for the ask! these questions r so fun. I’m going off of the book fandom btw

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

Louis <3 I think this is an affect of how likable and overtly sympathetic he is in the amc show but I've seen people getting genuinely offended over Louis being described in fandom (and by Anne rice herself) as a manipulative cold hearted ass who uses his perceived vulnerability and gentleness to distract from the fact that he is just as cruel if not crueler then the other vampires. Like Louis does nottt have strong morals or high empathy lmao. Book Louis weaponizes his privilege like a white woman crying to self victimize into making the other vampires look worse them him 😭 . He refuses to kill humans for a while not bcus it hurts him to take life (he actually takes more pleasure in it then most), he refuses bcus he has catholic brain the way a christians who say "how do atheists have morals without god?" do, misunderstanding that most people actually care about other people and dont need an existential threat to encourage them not to hurt others.

His moral compass is self centered and based in up keeping the appearance of self restraint and monk style lack of enjoying himself, not empathy. If a vampire killed u would u feel better if u knew he cried over how much he got off on it then flaunted his suffering over how little he indulged so that everyone knew how piosis he was 😭.

He is way worse when it comes to how he treats his victims then Armand who intentionally seeks out victims who r asking to die or Lestat who tries the vigilante approach. Louis kills innocents and he thinks it makes him better cuz he only does it sometimes and he feels really really bad about himself afterwards. As akasha said (paraphrased) he's the most predatory of them all.

To specify I love book Louis SOOOO much I love how shitty he is that's why it makes me sad when people mischaracterize him as sincere and get gen mad when ppl characterize him how he is in canon (a lying selfish bitch bless his heart). Like ik amc Louis at this point in canon is unambiguously in the right but he isn't like an accurate reflection of how he is in the books 😭 it's not like amc did what anne rice was trying to do more successfully, they just nulled what anne rice was doing in favor of a more likable protagonist. Which is fine, but like, there's no crime in preferring evil to the core horrible asshole Louis of the books.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

I think the common fandom perception of Armand as the crazy unhinged "omg I can't believe he actually did that in the books??" sadistic maniac villain guy is funny but not really accurate. Armand explicitly not only tries to avoid violence but dislikes it and finds it hard to comprehend why someone would seek out violence and conflict.

The reason he is always doing fucked up shit isn't out of a lestat-esc desire to cause chaos, it's bcus his highly strung ptsd brain has him convinced that the world is a battle ground and he must always be defending himself and acting out in violence.

Since acting out in violence is a reaction hes been taught throughout his life to be standard and necessary, as violence is something so normalized to him he considers it more of a tedious chore then a last resort measure, he usually reacts to conflict in ways that are objectively extreme to anyone who isn't thinking from his perspective. In qotd he even asks Daniel why men choose to fight in wars, explaining that he doesn't understand the draw of violence (bcus he's not a man) and he can't comprehend the supposed thrill of it.

Then he says this in pl to Gregory

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think they are?

i was going to say Marius but I figure that's too obvious since everyone at this point knows I don't like Marius 😭 so here's an even hotter take,,,,, Lestat ‼️

Only to a degree, I think Lestat is hot and deserves the hype, but i also think he's hot in a different way then a chunk of the fandom does. Based on his book description he's kind of wonky looking, mouth too big for his face, vaguely unnerving shallow pale skin, starved 1700s peasant build but also kind of buff in the unhealthy "i dont eat regularly but I'm strong enough to carry a wolf for miles on my back" sense, weirdly small fucking feet. He def has creepy ass florescent blue doll eyes too. my point is I think when drooling over Lestat the fandom tends to forget this wonkiness in favor of blonde bombshell, Sam Reid chizzled jawline and abs, or conventionally beautiful anime twink, when they should be appreciating lestat in all his weird as shit glory.

[professionallydeadinside]

So, I'll start with Yati, the love of your life. Usually, she had herself be perceived as a writhing black ball of shadows, however, she looks very similar to how you draw her, except she seems to be in 70s/80s clothes, cuz she gives off fives of that era to me. She was killed by an ex-lover (let's go with shot or stabbed, I'm leaning towards stabbed multiple times), and deems it unfit to be sent to the afterlife, cuz she really has a lot of unfinished business and a lot of rage inside her. She seems normal when around other members of the household, but when she's annoyed, her eyes seem to disappear, and her wounds show up on her body and start dripping when she becomes super angry.

Silas gives off Wrath, Pride, or Lust demon energy (pls don't ask why, I do not know) and so he's (he/they, right?) Usually in a mix of the three in a more human-esque form. Is this a reason to say that think they'd be a spontaneous child of at least Mortivitch and Galante via how demon babies can be born according to your lore? ...Perhaps. Anyway, in "human" form, they're like, stupid tall and have curled horns like a ram, they're eyes are a complete solid color (leaning towards two different colors, turquoise and orange. Idk why, I think those colors suit them) They're also dressed very casually for a Pride demon, and takes more after Mortivitch, wearing pink like clothes. Their demon form, like their true demon form, is where I have the most issue, because for some reason they give off almost cthulhu-like vibes, but also at the same time give off vibes of like a wendigo. So, like, a really emaciated skinny creature, with tentacles for hair or something like that, or vice versa. Sunken in eyes, almost looking like a skeleton, but they have skin, but the skin doesn't look right, etc, etc.

And lil ol me. I'm going to be self indulgent. The radio host comes out a lot more towards the night time, but I imagine that I would be in 20s or 30s androgynous wear, and my hair is always constantly waving around, like radio waves. I don't have any eyes, just blank white screens that seem to every so often almost glitch in a way, except for when radios do it. If I do get mad, I just look less and less real, I seem to turn fuzzy and I seem to shift and whatnot, until I am a ball of incomprehensible stuff.

I imagine that you are a newly graduated art student, who was looking for a way out of your parents house or something like that, and found this super cheap, I'm talking like in the low 10K range, house for sale, and it was super pretty, nothing looked like anything was wrong, it was all recently updated as much as it could while keeping the original charm, and it was on a huge acreage of land. However, it was literally stated in the sale thing on Zillow, that it was like, Omega Haunted. You decided to take the risk, and bought the house.

-Kirk anon

KIRK I'M FUCKIGN OBSESSED WITH ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[selormohene]

day 12 (saturday, july 15th 2023)

I've come to realise that something I'm scared of is being objectified, not my body (which is of course in part an object, and partly has its social meaning in terms of the purely objective appeal it has for other people, in spite of the autonomy I have in moving and using my body) but rather my mind, that is to say my personality or mental qualities. For instance if I have a certain personality trait or quirk, being indulged when I express it while the other person is really just taking it as “just one of those things about me”. This isn’t just a matter of people knowing or noticing particular things about me that I don’t, but rather of people recognising (or taking themselves to perceive, since they could be wrong) flaws in my personality that are systematic and long-standing, and rather than taking them as flawed outlooks on the world for which I can be criticised and which I can correct, taking them as objects in themselves, things about me that nothing can be done about — this is manifested in merely smiling and nodding politely when I exhibit behaviour that expresses those flaws. Not engaging with me as a person in those aspects, that is.

This has to do with intelligence as a capacity with an objective telos, rather than as a skill which is indifferent to its content. Like practical wisdom is different from mere calculation, there’s no such thing as equally intelligent people, one of whom just happens systematically to be oriented towards good ends and the other towards bad ends. The person whose actions are oriented towards good ends is more intelligent in the practical domain, full stop. I think the same thing is true of theoretically wise or smart people and cranks, who would be the analogue of mere calculators — people with high data-processing capacities who are focused on the wrong things, or who have other intellectual vices like biases or lack of intellectual charity or an increased sense of self-satisfaction or whatever. People want to say “these people are smart but this shows that being smart isn’t enough” whereas I want to say no, if they were smart (or smarter) they would not do all these things, because these things are getting in the way of their achieving the ends that one’s capacity for theoretical thought is meant to enable one to achieve.

On biological normativity and personality differences between men and women. The debate about whether we should take gendered norms (or gender norms) as genuinely normative. I don’t think all gender differences are merely due to socialisation, some are of course biological. Of course you could also think that despite being biological the fact that we are self-conscious creatures means we aren’t determined to biological personality differences, merely subject to biological influences on personality, albeit perhaps strongly, and/or without much hope of significant resistance, and/or with good reason. Even if we couldn’t change them it wouldn’t make them normative of course, they could just as well be anti-normative, not an ideal to embody fully but a predicament we have to adjust to as best we can. In any case I don’t think it’s true that biological differences are inevitably or entirely normative, in virtue of being biological, though I do think they are normative to some extent; they’re part of a longstanding social division of labour which is obviously imperfect but can probably only be counteracted properly by longstanding cultural scripts to the contrary. Part of what makes the fact that they’re longstanding an argument in favour of them is of course an evolutionary argument; they will have been engineered to be robust if they’re old enough, and perhaps not if not. However, part of the issue is that we cannot reproduce all of the inherent normativity of our biological (or social!) norms, because given how complex we are as beings to do so would require nothing less than reconstructing all of the evolutionary history of humanity (plus cultural evolution) down to the toenails. We can’t do that, and thinking our incomplete models of why things are the way they are are actually complete is itself incredibly risky. So the point is that we shouldn’t ignore what seem like longstanding gendered differences that may be due to biology but we shouldn’t take them for granted either. Which would seem obvious to anyone who takes both sides of the debate seriously, I guess, but I’m mostly just trying to explain what I currently take to be the best reason for occupying that middle ground.

[plasma-studios]

op I am so sorry the cream demons took over

EXACTLY the "Guardian" and the "Guard" THEY ARE FOILS and I STAND by that they parallel each other in so many ways- each failed protectors, each survivors of a tragedy that cost them their world, and their family.

and the thing is, their story together starts after. so there are so many fucked up things they could've internalised from before that impact their relationship..... so much shame, so much self-loathing, so much self-blame. I love what op said about "seeing their own value past their usefulness" because yes!! that's exactly it!!! that is the struggle one grapples with when one perceives themself to have failed the people they care about; they learn to define their worth by what they failed to do once before: protect the people they care about. and that's true for both Dream and Cross! it's only natural that one's self will be swallowed by shame and regret. it's only natural that they internalise their worth being tied to their role. and it's exactly that sort of thinking that self-destructive tendencies are attached to.

and cream's so interesting for that very reason because here are two characters that are foils. parallels! their relationship is perhaps even a metaphor for their individual internal conflict, because the obvious hypocrisy of believing themself too flawed to be deserve love while also loving someone flawed in almost the exact same way is SO DELICIOUS. it's like you loving the parts of someone else that you hate in yourself. GOD.

also side (indulgent) tangent but I LOVE cream for the fact that, as their individual tragedies pretty much characterise the person they each are, cream is a ship that is very much related to the question "how do you move on from tragedy" like I enjoy cream fluff as much as the next person, but pls let them have issues, let them have to work it out!! cream is a breeding ground to explore the theme of self-destruction and conversely healing, and me personally I eat up' recovery stories like a goblin. or something. can't think of a sufficient metaphor lmao

and with their relationship perhaps even being a metaphor for their individual internal conflict, the harm done to their relationship because of their own struggles and doubts is definitely an extension if not reflection of the self-hatred and harm done to themselves because of all the above. it's almost making them accountable, in a way, for the damage done to themselves? because there's a scale difference between your issues hurting yourself, and your issues causing harm to someone you care about. it's an escalation.

OH AND ALSO the fact that they've learnt to define their worth by their role, which is to protect the people they care about, often overriding their own value as individuals. the worth tied to role overrides (overwrites? hehe) consideration of their own needs and wants. when you bring that into context, the harm that that does to themselves is also reflected in the harm it does to the relationship. instead being a connection between two individuals with their own thoughts and feelings, it almost becomes... like roles for them to act out? they aren’t engaging with each other as whole people, is what i'm saying. so, it’s not just that they’re neglecting their own needs, it’s that this neglect actively sabotages the relationship. if they can’t learn to value themselves outside of their role as protectors, then they’re doomed to repeat the cycle. it's there, point blank: self-sacrifice is not sustainable.

also also the fact that their story starts after their tragedies means that their relationship is rooted in the aftermath of tragedy. what does it mean to move on from it? cream really is a reflection of each's struggles. a genuine, healthy relationship not stuck in a stasis requires them to unpack what they internalised and learn to value who they are as people. if they can start to see their own value as individuals, and heal, well. it's a direct parallel, is it not?

it's almost like loving each other is their penance for the harm did to themselves. hope, y'know, in the aftermath of tragedy; that even after all of this, you are not unsalvagable. what can I say I'm soft for them

i guess what I love about cream is that because it consists of foils, their relationship is a direct metaphor/parallel for them individually. i really think cream is a really complex dynamic that doesn't get enough love for it because. com'on. I wanna hurt for them. let me see the hurt alongside the comfort please I will pay

So tired of Cream being considered "the vanilla/super wholesome ship" when, yes, it ends like that at one point, but both Dream and Cross are characters who have a hard time seeing their own value past their usefulness, I wish there were more fics exploring the ways their tendency to self-sacrifice would hurt the relationship

[stay-corner]

[03:16 am - chan]

nobody perceive me. i am a wh*re for christopher bang. MINORS STAY AWAY!!!

warnings: nsfw, unprotected sex (pls don't do this!! i know it's hot i know but u shouldn't do it), softdom!chan bc i am SELF INDULGENT OK, creampie, spit play, dirty talk, slight strength kink, spent the longest time trying to find an image that describes the position i have in mind and it's basically this but chan hoists you up in his arms <3 (the image is just a drawing)

word count: 1.1k

"yeah, baby? it's deep?" chan hushes into your ear, and you feel the vibrations more than you actually understand the words, head merely nodding absentmindedly, eyes rolled to the back of your head already.

"so big-- chris, so big," you whimper back at him, voice high and whiny and breathless, stuck in the back of your throat. it feels impossible to breathe right now, chan snugly and teasingly pressing his hips against yours in a series of harsh and shallow thrusts. you don't notice the hitch in his voice as he chuckles back at you, as you're far too busy trying to gather some air in your lungs.

noticing this, chan finally halts his punishing grinds, instead impaling you completely on his cock and letting you catch your breath - which you finally do, with a loud gasp that makes your chest arch into his, toes curling behind him. chan holds you up effortlessly, arms circling your form and flexing in a protective manner. he waits until you gasp a few more times, and then you feel his fingers clench on your back, his hips pulling back and snapping into yours faster than before.

your eyes close immediately, a loud moan escaping once your jaw slacks, head falling back. in this position, you can't protest or fight back - but why would you when chan makes you feel so heavenly?

"yeah, baby, just take it, fucking take it," you feel him mutter against your cheek, the tip of his cock roughly brushing against your insides, somehow reaching deeper and deeper with each thrust. the angle chan has you in has you seeing stars, your walls clenching tightly around his girth as he stretches you out. you can't even process the sounds rolling off your tongue, though you're sure they're echoing off his purple-hued walls.

chan simply encourages you, a slight smirk making its way to his lips. "baby feels good? dick so big it makes you stupid, huh?" chan raises his head to get a good look at you, one of his hands leaving your back and snaking its way to your cheeks, smushing them harshly and angling your head so you could look at him. the lack of support makes your hands instinctively clutch at his shoulders, nails digging in, but he doesn't as much as flinch at it, and his other arm seems to be holding you just fine, which prompts you to open your eyes just slightly.

chan's raised eyebrow greets you, along with his half-lidded glare, intense and deep and cocky. when he notices your gaze scanning his features, he smirks fully, letting out a huff, his hips not losing their rhythm. his display of strength and confidence makes you whine, eyebrows knitting together pathetically, and you attempt to throw your head back, but his hand grabs your cheeks even tighter, pushing your pouty lips out even further.

"what? getting shy already?" his firm, yet playful tone makes your walls flutter, which chan quickly catches on, his mouth running further as he pins you down with his gaze, arm pulling you closer to him. his nose almost touches yours as he starts spewing filthy words, eyes not shying away from yours once. "my baby gets so shy after she's so filthy, huh? gagging on my cock then begging me to fuck her, so shameless and greedy; take it all then, come on. i know you can."

chan accentuates his sharp words with a change in his pace, his thrusts now slower, but slamming into you much more aggressively, angled precisely in order to push hard against the spot that makes your thighs go numb. his pelvis rubs against your clit with each of his movements, your whimpers and the sounds of your wetness filling the room.

you feel so full, trapped in his embrace as chan holds you securely, his thighs thick and firm underneath you - he's everywhere, your eyes can only focus on his face and features even after your vision turns foggy with tears; his punishing thrusts don't leave you any room to relax, your legs tensing up as spit begins to dribble down your chin and you turn cross-eyed for a few seconds before you close your lids, breathing harshly through your nose.

at this, chan dares to laugh, hand finally letting go of your cheeks before it sneaks down your body. his thumb presses down on your clit as soon as his mouth slots on top of yours, lips pressing lovingly onto yours. a wail makes its way out of your throat, your hands grabbing desperately at chan's broad shoulders, but he continues to kiss you passionately, kindly ignoring how sloppily you attempt to match the caresses of his mouth. when his tongue traces the outline of your bottom lip, you're left in a daze, but then you feel his lips pucker, followed by his warm spit dripping onto your tongue.

your breath hitches into your throat, his finger now drawing tight circles into your clit as he parts from your mouth, a teasing smile tugging at chan's lips once he sees the drunken look on your face, a deep blush draping over your cheeks.

"bet you'd even want me to fill you up--" chan barely finishes voicing his thought when your loud moan interrupts him, your cunt clenching tighter and tighter around his length. he grunts, and if you weren't so far gone at this point, you'd see his resolve crumbling rapidly. "fuck, my dirty baby, mine."

you feel his cock twitch inside of you wildly, and when his first string of cum paints your walls, you tense up, your orgasm washing over you, sending tingles from your crotch down your legs, making your thighs shake and your nails draw red lines across chan's back. you whisper mindlessly back to him, eyebrows furrowed and jaw quivering as a few tears slip down your cheeks, and he basks in the afterglow of his high, sweet whispers of "yours, all yours, chris" hitting his ears and making him softly buck his hips against yours even while you two are beginning to recover.

an incredulous laugh escapes chan, who can't help but flush a deep pink, gaze avoiding yours. he's back to being his silly, flustered self, pulling himself out of you carefully and cleaning you up with gentle touches, eyes softened and loving.

"... so that was intense," chan states awkwardly as he pulls the covers over you two, and you smack his chest, a pair of giggles resounding throughout the room as you nuzzle into his neck.

"so shy after you were so filthy, huh?" you mutter his own words back at him, at which he promptly stops caressing your shoulder and goes on to cover his face, a cheek-hurting smile taking over his features.

"gosh, shut up."

thank you for reading!! :D here you can check out my masterlist for more of my writings, and here you can leave feedback and request anything you'd like! i can't promise i'll get to it super soon, as i already have a few drafts and requests waiting for me, but i'll get to your request at some point!! my guidelines are also here, but it's nothing too strict or anything :] reblogs are much appreciated, and i hope you have an amazing day and week!!

flustered chan after he bangs your brains out. just typical stuff. i have to finish my drafts but lo and behold i've been so busy with shit to read and write that i couldn't get anything done. and this evening i got inexplicably horny out of nowhere so have this little drabble :3 i'm not going to promise a longer thing anymore, bc idk when it'll be done!! but i might get another drabble done soon, for seungmin!! i already have an idea in mind. uhguguhgu chan.....the things you do to me...

- lunar

[dearlawdimasimp]

Devotion for the moon under the morning sun

Pairings: Khonshu x gn sorcerer!Reader

Word count: buckle the fuck up bc this is the longest fic i've written yet, 3.8k+ words BABEYY

Warnings: grammar, languange, suggestive stuff(not explicit, just mentioned), No spoilers! :D, implied Filipino!reader but not that detailed, no mention of y/n, purely self-indulegent, not beta'd and possibly ooc Khonshu(if i missed anything pls let me know! ^.^)

Summary: How did sorcerer!reader from Just you luck meet and confessed to Khonshu? (idk man i just want my Khonshu fic HAHAHA)

A/n: well this is long and possibly has a rushed ending but i still hope y'all like it😅 this was just something to quench my thirst for the bird god AND SUPPOSED TO BE SHORT but here we fucking again are🤡. HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY MY SELF-INDULGENT MESS💞💞

note 2: if you guys have suggestions for for a new title, i will gladly accept them lmao bc this one's ridiculously long. I also accept constructive criticsms so feel free to send asks or comment or dm me in my inbox🥰💞💞 more of my thoughts at the end

Gif of the bird daddy god is from @/khonshunation

You are currently preparing your breakfast, humming and sometimes singing along to the music, Harana by Parokya ni Edgar, playing on your mini-speaker as you prepare your coffee while you wait for your omelette to cool.

Puno ang langit ng bituin,

at kay lamig pa ng hangin.

Sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw, giliw.

At sa awitin kong ito,

Sana'y maibigan mo,

Ibubuhos ko ang buong puso ko

Sa isang munting harana,

Para sa'yo

(The sky is full of stars,

The night breeze is cold.

Your stare makes me crazy, my dear.

I hope you'll like,

this song of mine.

I will pour my whole heart,

on this little serenade.

For you)

The chorus of the song makes you chuckle as you remember the nights you spent with Khonshu. A small getaway moment from day-to-day life and just sit in silence while admiring the view of any night life of any city you stumbled in, may it be in London or any other cities in the globe as you, alongside his Moon Knight, protect innocent civilians.

While his knight delivers his vengeance, you protect this realm from any form of mystical danger.

Those nights started when you were keeping an eye out for his knight. You had gotten word from one of the sorcerers that a new vigilante arose in London, so you decided to check it out. What you were not expecting though, is that the vigilante is powered by a banished god of the Egyptian pantheon.

You may or may have not been caught stalking them which led to a confrontation and a small dispute but the situation was quickly diffused after they stated their cause. You were skeptical at first, but you let them go that night. Your eyes lingered on their form.

After you did some digging on some texts about the deity, you realise they were not lying. You told your fellow sorcerers about this, they told you they have no qualms about their whereabouts as long as no innocent civilians would be harmed nor witness anything that aligns to anything mystical and you have to keep an eye on them.

And so you told the moon and his knight that whenever something accidentally happened in front of civilians, they have to inform you quickly to avoid repercussions on a later date. To which they begrudgingly accepted since they didn't want any more interventions.

After nights of keeping tabs on the two, and them almost always knows that you are there(Khonshu is the God of the Moon, of course he'll know who or what is under the moonlight), you were able to form an unlikely friendship with them which led to some nights spending time with the two. Most of it though, is with the deity. 

Feelings arose in between those nights. His dry sense of humour somehow makes you chuckle, the way he allows you to do things that are socially perceived as 'weird' and unacceptable but are only mundane things which makes you, you, the way he allows you to mess with him while he doesn't let anyone else do it or they'll face his wrath and just be someone who listens to your every rant about a certain sorcerer with an inflated ego and give advices on how to deal with it(which may or may not always be murder). Which led to you daydreaming whenever you are reminded of anything that resembles the god.

Although the song you are listening to talked about singing a serenade to a dear one under the stars and chilly night, you don't sing to him any serenades on those nights. Though you've been tempted lately to sing 'Buwan' by Juan Karlos to him. Maybe because of the song's title that is literally 'moon' in english, maybe because it is your feelings for the god already written out for you and ready to be sung, maybe it's just you want to confess to him under the moon through a song about confessing one's love under the moon OR maybe it's because of all of the above and because you're tired of stuffing all those love down! 

But you didn't want to ruin the bond you have built with Khonshu. You didn't want to be rejected, seeing as the bird god doesn't really look like he also feels the same way to you. So, you kept silent and kept these feelings hidden, locked in a Pandora's box and swept under the rug. Don't even get me started on your infatuation with the deity's avatar(that's a story for another day ;) ).

Oh if only the box could hold your deep admiration for Khonshu. 

It could not. 

These feelings always resurface after hours of hiding them and keeping them in bay. You just could not help but somehow always find another reason to love the moon god and all of your efforts in locking your heart just bursts open.

Your will to keep things under the surface fades when he talks softly after your long rant, it dissolves when he pats your shoulder and gives praises after a successful mission, it dissipates into thin air when he looks you over after said missions, it crumbles when he tolerates your weird sense of humour and does not make fun of you. Although it should not, it somehow does.

Every. single. fucking. time. 

Even though you've tried to reason with yourself that he probably only does this with no romantic reasons but just to entertain you so that you won't intervene in the future. That maybe this is just how he is to someone who helps his knight. But all those reasons always disappear like a bubble when you hear that sweet, deep timbre of his voice, the way your name just sounds so beautiful when he says it, and the way his strong but comforting aura engulfs you when he's in the same place as you.

°°°

You were too deep in thought as you stirred your coffee, a new song played on your speakers and you haven't even noticed that the being you are currently thinking of is in the same room as yours. Silently watching you do your morning routine as he sat with one foot on top of the counter and the other laying flat on the floor. If it weren't for his massive size it would've been dangling from the counter top he's sitting on.

Ako sayo'y ikaw ay akin,

(I am yours as you are mine,)

Seeing as you were so deep in your trance, Khonshu took the chance to admire you, like he always does when you two spend some time together. This is obviously done secretly. He doesn't want to admit it but he has fallen for you, too. Your knowledge, your skill and determination, your charming and funny personality when outside of work had drawn him in like a moth to a flame.

At first he had thought that he was under your magical influence, like some sort of spell to control him and stop his life's work in protecting humanity because you have some hidden agenda that your fellow sorcerers don't know. 

But, he is under none. 

He would've known, he is a god after all. Spells aren't hard to detect under his nose. His years of existence in this unimaginable universe has given him lots of experience and knowledge humanity hasn't even known nor experienced. So no. He isn't. Which drew him to a conclusion that he both dread and joyed over that he is, in fact, in love.

Dread, because of the fact that whatever desires he has with you will be completely useless if he can't always be by your side and spend as much time as he wants with you without facing consequences. He was banished because of his love for humanity, how much more if he devotes his undying love to a human. Joyed because for a long, long, long time he would've never thought he would find this kind of love again, not after his banishment and certainly not finding it with a human. 

Sorcerer but still human.

And knowing that his feelings were mutual made him more overjoyed. You might've thought that he doesn't see it but he does. Seeing your face heating up when he helps you up and look you over for injuries, the way you light up when he entertains your rambling thoughts, your shy yet bold smile when you make a teasing comment, and your longing stares that you thought he could not see nor sense but he does. 

He does see and feel your overwhelming love that he wants to drown in, but he should not, he could not. Not when the possibility of you getting hurt is highly likely.

And so he'll just admire you, silently, just like what he is doing now, silently admiring your unruly bedhead, the steady rise and fall of your shoulders under your loose top as you breathe, your lower behind that he may have 'stared' at far too long for anyone's comfort(not that anyone would notice), and your cute pj bottoms.

Ganda mo sa paningin.

(You are a sight to behold.)

He will never admit it to you outloud but gods, were you a sight for sore eyes. Even in this situation where you just woke up and haven't completely freshen up. What he would do to get a chance to be by your side when you wake up-

His thoughts were interrupted by your yelp, startled by the fact that he didn't announce his arrival. It's always fun to mess with you.

You hiss curses as you regain your composure. You do sometimes, if not most of the time, curse like a sailor when threatened. 

"I didn't mean to startle you, little human. But you should've been attentive to your surroundings." He sounds disappointed but deep inside, he only wants you safe.

Ako ngayo'y nag-iisa,

(I am currently alone,)

"I know, I know." You roll your eyes as you face him, "You could've at least knocked or..said anything when you arrived- how long have you been..there? here? Gods my grammar sucks…" You mumble the last part to yourself as you take a sip of your lukewarm coffee.

His commitment to keep his love under his bondaged body might just waver, once again, right here right now as you look at him with those eyes. The longing and mirth glinting under the morning sun. But this time, he might not be able to keep it to himself anymore.

Sana ay tabihan na.

(Hopefully you'll accompany me.)

°°°

How long have you been daydreaming about him???!??

Sa ilalim ng puting ilaw,

(Under the white light,)

Well long enough apparently that the song you were thinking of had started to play on your speakers. Great!

"I haven't been around for long, little human. Whatever you had done before you stirred your coffee is something I have no idea of." He shrugs as he vaguely answers. You mumble nonsense under your breath, a little annoyed by his response at the same time hiding your embarrassment. 'Seriously, out of all the times that that song plays, it has to be right now?!? Plus, its early in the fuckin morning..bad timing music player..very very bad timing.'

Sa dilaw na buwan!

(Of the yellow moon!)

"And either 'here' and 'there' are technically grammatically correct." He adds as he shifts his sitting position. Gods to be able to sit on his laP-

"m'kay, noted.."

You cut your omelette into thin strips before putting it on your sliced bread and folding it, "So..to what do I owe this pleasure, big bird?" You huff, taking a big bite to your homemade egg bread. 

His unexpected visits were not new to you, he just sometimes turn up out of the blue to tell you about their next move on whatever mission he has given his knight, whom you've never met personally even though you've wanted to know who's under the mask for a long time but Khonshu just tells you 'at the right moment, little human.' Sometimes he would appear while you were on the other side of the globe while doing your own missions, which most of the time just ends up in you transporting to his plane of existence to smack his beak and him swinging his staff at you, starting an unnecessary squabble that usually doesn't last long because you can't stay in his plane for long.

"Can't a god visit a wizard simply to converse?" 

"Not a wizard.." You grumbled to yourself and took a seat, the god merely chuckled in response. You groan at his willful ignorance, so tempted to splash your coffee at his bird skull but decided not to. Plus it would be a waste of caffeine so it's a definite no go.

"And no, you cannot." You smirk, he scoffs. You then sipped your drink and then swallowed your food, adding a bold, teasing question, "If I was none the wiser I would say you're in love with me, moonie." You laugh at the idea, giving hints at the same time not, ya know, just playing it safe. "Are you, moonie?"

Pakinggan mo ang aking sigaw,

(Listen to my yells,)

Khonshu doesn't like that name, at least that's what his reaction implies. He groans and his skull head moves as if he rolled his non-existent eyes every time you call him with the nickname. And he did just that, now added with a huff. You were expecting him to deny and to tell you to stop calling him that name once again but instead you received a rebuttal your shaky will was not prepared for.

"So what if I am?"

Sa dilaw na buwan!

(To the yellow moon!)

°°°

Well that slipped out of his beak. Or maybe he let it slip.

Your incessant teasing and bold comments had always made him mull over everything. If he should just give in and just make sure none of the Ennead know of you or continue keeping everything shut and close to himself as he admires you from afar and watch you fall out of love with him.

Apparently he chose the former as he uttered those five words.

Ayokong mabuhay ng malungkot,

(I don't want a miserable life,)

°°°

Oh he's got to be messing with you.. 

Right?

You just shake your head and laugh humorlessly, "Ha. ha. you got me." Denying what Khonshu is suggesting because it was just impossible. He wasn't showing interest, at least from what you remember, so he can't just..blurt this out out of fucking nowhere..right?!

But he was not saying anything, he just adjusted his grip on his crescent moon staff as he looked at you. 

You don't know what to say.

You blink and rub your face, "Okay, wait. No, hold on."

"Little one-" he stands up from the counter and reaches out to you.

"No, give me a-" an airy laugh passes through your lips, "give me a fucking minute- Do you mean it?"

You finally ask, somewhat gathering your thoughts as your sporadic heartbeat pulses in your ear. All the time, were your feelings not unrequited? Did you really waste buckets of tears because you didn't see that the feelings are mutual? Tears that are now forming and clouding your vision. Tears of utter bliss for your current situation or tears of disappointment to yourself for torturing yourself in not seeing the signs, you could not tell which it was.

"Dear one-"

"Answer me, bonehead!" You grit your teeth as you slam your mug down the counter. Days and nights of frustration for being in love with someone whom you thought doesn't love you back takes the form of your flowing tears. 

Or does he? Is he just messing with you because you were too fucking obvious of your devotion to him? Or-

Your thoughts silencing when you feel a feather-light touch on your cheek, the familiar buzz of magic hovering over your skin as Khonshu, now beside you, cradles your face with his wrapped, bony hand, trying to reach your physical form while under the influence of the unhelpful sun, "Beloved, please stop crying." His towering form is mildly comforting in the current situation as you question his intentions.

You chuckle, lacking any joy but has hope laced in it, hearing the new nickname that he had given you. 

"I do. I really do but-" He cut himself off, his thumbs attempting to wipe your tears but his finger just phases through your tears, a painful reminder that he cannot be physically be with you while the sun rises in his morning glory, "I don't think I am worth any risks and time-"

"Bullshit." You snarl at him, not moving from your place as you look up at him straight to his eye-sockets. With shaking posture and sniffling nose you prepare the spell that would transport yourself to his plane, his warnings and scolds fall under deaf ears and you casted it with no delay.

You feel yourself being pulled out of your physical body, finding your translucent and iridescent form standing right in front of Khonshu.

"Did you really think I learned this spell for nothing? This isn't the same with astral projecting, by the way, and this spell is also under a locked tome." Your lips quiver, tears freely flowing as hours of learning a spell that could potentially get you locked up just shamefully passes by. Like your sweat and efforts are nothing to the universe as you look back to it now. 

"'Not worth any risk', well too late bird boy because I've taken those risks and I can say it myself that you are worth every fucking risk." You are now standing right in front of him, your eyes not leaving his eye-sockets as you stand firm under it. You can hear his uneven breathing, being this actually physically close to the god allowed you to hear it. His aura is much stronger in this plane, adding on to your already overwhelmed senses. 

"So let me ask again, and answer me honestly," you plead, your voice trembling, watching his unmoving posture and gulped, "do you-"

Khonshu cuts you off with a bone crushing hug, you feel his lanky arms wrap your whole form with a tight grip that is enough for you to handle and sweetly whispers to your ears, "Yes, yes I do, " You can hear his voice wavering, calling your name as he pulls you much closer to his chest. The first time he calls your actual name in today's interaction.

"No buts?" You sniffle as you raise your arm to hold on to his shoulder, somehow reluctant if he were to say 'but' again. 

"No buts, beloved.." He sweetly reassures with a loving nudge of his beak to your head. 

That's when you gave in and returned his embrace. Desperately and greedily wrapping your human arms around his godly form and crying happy tears on his shoulder.

°°°

Khonshu holds you close, his crescent staff long abandoned on the floor, as cradles you in his arms while you weep joyfully in his embrace. He places the underside of his beak on top of your head, as his hand rubs comforting circles on your back. Heavens, he wasn't expecting a tearful confession but here you guys are. 

He actually had no idea that the spell you just used is a very complicated and unsafe spell. He had thought that you were taught how to transport between planes to be able to protect this realm better. Though it scared him when you told him about this. He could not bear to see you locked up behind a cage just because of him, he will not let that happen. But it warms his old heart that you risked your self and soul for him, because of your love for him.

And from now on till the day onwards, he will do the same for you. Move the stars and call upon the moon whenever you tell him so. Be a beacon of light to your night missions. Your unseen guardian who will do what it takes to keep you from harm and anyone who wishes to lay a single finger on you will face his Knight's vengeance.

°°°

You can faintly hear the climax of the song in the background, what you can mostly hear though is Khonshu's comforting words and your hiccups as you try to calm yourself. With a sniffle you mumble, "gods, this was not what I had planned when I would confess to you." 

His deep chuckle rumbles in your ears, "but here we are, a sobbing mess in a plane where you glow brighter than the morning sun.." He slowly pulls away and cradles your tear stained face, this time, you can actually feel the roughness of his bandaged hand as you lean to it, "and the place where I can properly comfort you.." The tears now wiped away by his thumb and not passing through, your doubts fleeing alongside the wiped tears.

You hold the hand on your face with both of yours, turning your head to place a soft kiss on his palm, "I guess this is better than serenades, hm?" You tease with a lopsided smile. His hitched breath and stuttered "Wh-what?" made you laugh out loud and roll your head back.

"Hold on, you were planning to serenade me?" 

"Says who?"

"Oh, don't play coy with me now, little wizard." He pulls you to him with ease while you try to escape his grip, shrieking, "I'm not gonna repeat myself!!" with a big grin on your face.

Khonshu's chest vibrates with a disbelieving hum, "I will make sure you will." His voice dropping an octave with a suggesting tone, it made you halt your futile escaping attempt. Your face heats up at the thought of what the god of the moon was suggesting. 

He might have seen how your face looks like a tomato as his rumbling laugh echoes across the plane, "Get your mind off the gutter, beloved. I am not suggesting that, although.." a silent offer hangs in the air while you're just there malfunctioning under his grip. 

"Oh hUSH UP!" You squeak and undid the spell you had casted, transporting you back to the plane of physical existence. You stumble on your feet as Khonshu's hands are now useless on your physical form, exclaiming gibberish as you try to regain your balance. You heard his worried warning and felt his magic help you balance yourself, "Careful."

"I am." You quip with a huff, face still very much red no thanks to the mummified bird in front of you. You take your mug and finish your coffee that has now gone cold and placed the mug on the counter.

"The offer still stands, little wizard."

"SHUSHHH!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was not meant to be a prequel

This was supposed to be another snippet from my soon-to-be-not-to-be series but in the middle of writting it i decided to deviate from that plan, and accidentally made a prequel KAHSHAHSHHSHSH. I'll call this a happy lil accident☺ but fuck was it frustrating to find an appropriate ending HAHAHHAHAHAH

Anywhoooo, hope you guys enjoyed that and like i said, i am open for constructive criticism feel free to comment, asks/inbox open andd hope you guys have a great day/night!!🥰💞💞

gods i just hope ep 6 will not cost me another bucket of tears

edit: i think am gonna re-write this HAHSHSHH might make it shorter next time and make the pov's clear😓

[aizawaslovebot]

soleil et lune.

secretary! shouto todoroki x director/ceo! reader

pronouns: he/him

word count: 1.4k

series masterlist | future chapters available only on quotev

i. new moon

There was something about the contrast of the sun and the moon that deeply intrigued Todoroki.

Perhaps it was the way they rarely seemed to meet, always just a shy minute apart from coexisting together. Maybe it was how one of the other gave way for a moment of spotlight, either to bless the Earth with sunlight or to illuminate the dark sky with moonlight. Maybe it was because people perceive them as lovers who are separated by destiny, forever bound by whatever rules the universe had set.

He never got to the bottom of the reason why he was so enamored with the Romeo and Juliet of the cosmos but whatever it is, Todoroki had to thank it.

It was in these that he found solace, especially during the dark times of his past and childhood.

Shouto Todoroki was not an astronomer in the slightest. Despite his fondness over the stars in the sky or the planets lightyears away, he never took the chance to pursue this career.

Correction: He was never allowed to pursue this career.

In fact, he was not allowed to be anything other than what his father had set for him. Like the sun and moon, he was bound by destiny. But destiny, in Todoroki’s case, was a six-foot, heartless dictator who strived for perfection in everything at the expense of even an ounce of happiness and freedom.

“You are to follow in my footsteps, Shouto. You will continue what I have started and you shall rise over Japan and defeat All Might Corp.”

It was annoying. It was beyond him how his abomination of a father had this kind of mindset. But he had no power over this man. He controlled Shouto’s life.

So Todoroki fell to the same fate of his older siblings; all bound by their destiny as businessmen, inheritors of Japan’s second most successful conglomerate, and joyless lives. He became what society calls as a success— rich and thriving at the early age of 20.

You see, that’s just it.

Society has deemed success as being filthy rich at an early age. The way they measured success is by how young you’re able to afford luxuries, how much green papers you owned, and how famous you could be. They never thought to wonder if these so-called successful people were actually happy with their lives.

Success for Shouto was not about how much bank he could make, or how influential he could become, or how many cars he could afford. Success was finding joy in what you do, regardless of how much money he had. Shouto was far from successful. But he’s hopeful that one day he could achieve the life he wanted, whether his dictator of a father liked it or not.

For now, he is the moon without light to illuminate his dark life.

He is a new moon.

But things will change and the sun will rise again.

“Father, I would like to try secretarial studies,” Shouto brought up one day as the Todoroki family ate quietly in Enji’s mansion.

The clanking of Enji’s utensils rang through the big house, reflecting their father’s emotions. Twitching fingers, cold eyes, and a permanent scowl that seemed to deepen— he was livid.

“That’s absurd, Shouto. I will not allow it.”

“I never asked for your permission. I am taking secretarial whether you like it or not.”

The youngest Todoroki scoffed, retaliating once again from their father’s idiotic ideologies. Fuyumi was silently pleading for Shouto to be careful while the two older brothers were grinning for him to continue.

“You are a Todoroki. We do not serve people. They serve us. Drop this, now.”

“I don’t care what you say. I’ve already decided who to work for.”

Enji chuckled wryly, “and who are you wasting your talents on?”

“The L/N Enterprise”

There are only a few companies and groups that could be hailed as Japan’s best. These include All Might Corporations, Endeavor Inc., and the L/N Empire. Safe to say, these three are the big leagues, the future of Japan’s economy, and the most successful. These three GDP monsters also play in the same field: the music industry. World-known idol groups come from one of the three, and more flock to these companies for a taste of success. Behind these are the business powerhouses: Toshinori Yagi, known as Mr. All Might; and Todoroki Enji, dubbed as Endeavor. Little is known about the L/N CEO, however, what everyone does know is they are geniuses, even in different ways, because they were able to make their names known not only to Japan but the entire world.

Perhaps there are still differences. Unlike the two, the L/N Empire doesn’t only battle in the music industry. Countless branches, including the ever-famous Sumsang tech, come from their conglomerate.

Another factor from All Might and Endeavor Inc. lets the L/N Enterprise stand in the spotlight; the future successor of the entire group, and grandson of the richest man in Japan, is one of the youngest to ever sit on such a high position.

General Manager L/N (Name).

Many people wonder why this young man, who, at the young age of 20, began to dedicate his life to the countless numbers and percentages that come with this life. People his age at the time would’ve rather flaunt to the world of the riches they own, and indulge in such a lavish life that only few could attain.

But not L/N (Name).

He pursued this career that was bestowed upon him by his family and thus, just a short three years later, L/N is on his way to become the youngest Director and hold so much power over the L/N group, over this branch that he manages, and over Japan.

A bigshot at a young age, blessed with not only riches but also looks and intelligence.

If only he also had a good attitude to boot.

There were a lot of hearsays that circulated about the so-called business ace. Maybe it was because they only knew so little of his father that (Name) became the center of attention. People say he’s a womanizer, an arrogant, self-less prick who has an ego bigger than All Might’s height. Some say he was a sleaze and a temperamental individual who explodes at even the smallest of mistakes. People have also heard that the Director was ruthless, and seeing the countless rumors about this made them believe everything.

Enji could even vouch for those rumors. The brat, while he was a family friend, always found a way to talk back to him whenever he’s over for Natsuo. As far as the Todoroki could remember, L/N was in the same age group as Natsuo. He wasn’t really sure, but Enji’s certain that brat is an egotistical prick.

So why the hell did Shouto choose their God forsaken company?

It was beyond Enji, but he’ll let Shouto waste his time for a bit. After all, he could benefit from having an insider for that competition of his.

The object of Enji’s hatred and the famous L/N sneezed so suddenly.

“Endeavor-san must be cursing me again,” He hummed then continued on with his work.

(Name) was in his office, scanning through the proposals submitted by his department, when his temporary secretary knocked on the door.

“Here’s the batch of applications, sir,” She nervously placed the profiles on his desk. Before (Name) could thank her, however, the young secretary zoomed off.

(Name) was looking for a new secretary after his former subordinate was revealed to be a mole for some company. Aside from that, he knew that the assistant was after him, personally, too. She would often flirt and schedule him for dinners with “other people”, only later to reveal that she wanted to eat with him.

Basically, that assistant was a pest.

The flipping of papers came to a halt at one very specific file. Staring right back at (Name) were the familiar heterochromatic pools of blue and silver, as if saying that his attention should be on the young Todoroki.

Well, damn right.

Without so much as a glance at the CV neatly written at the bottom (which (Name) knows is more than qualified), he knew who he wanted by his side.

The new moon slowly transitions into a new beginning.

“Welcome to the L/N Enterprise, Todoroki-san”

—note: hey! hey! hey! this is my first-ever bnha series 👉🏼👈🏼 please send criticism thru ask or dm 🥺❤️ if you guys like it enough to want to be tagged, just ask!! also pls be nice

—aizawaslovebot 2020

[bettsfic]

socknography: the importance of preserving fan creator biographical data

i wrote earlier on utilizing collections and bookmarks to boost the archival power of ao3, and in that post mentioned how i wish authors would fill out their bios so we can preserve fanauthor information as well as we preserve the fics themselves. so, here is my rant about WHY WE ARE SO IMPORTANT.

for my masters thesis i wrote about the layered pseudonymity of fanfiction authors, and after doing a ton of research, i find myself still thinking of the pseudonymous/anonymous divide as it pertains to fic. we have authors we consider “famous” and ones whose followings eclipse that of traditionally published authors, but unlike traditionally published authors, we don’t put a handy bio at the end of our fics. in fact, if you want to find out about the author, you have to hope they’ve linked somewhere to their tumblr or twitter or dreamwidth, or they have consistent pseuds across platforms. and from there, you have to hope they have an ‘about me.’ but most, myself included, don’t.

unlike traditional publication -- where amazon and goodreads and even the back of the book contains biographical info -- and even unlike the rest of fandom archival etiquette -- which, despite having virtually no committed rules still maintains its organizational structure -- there is no standard etiquette on fanauthor biographical data. 

i speculate the reasons fanauthors are hesitant to write their own biographies is very complicated: 

there is no “ask” for it or existing standard. when i publish stories under my real name, i’m required to provide my bio, which contains my accomplishments, where i got my degree, where else i’m published, and my website. all literary author bios follow this formula, so they’re pretty easy to write. other than this post, i have never seen a request for fanauthor bios. so without an editor demanding it, and without a standard formula or platform to draw from, a total lack of information becomes the norm, and almost any info other than the standard “name. age. pronouns. ao3 name. list of fandoms and/or pithy one-liner” of tumblr or occasional ask game is seen as a deviation from the norm. even ask games get a bad rep sometimes, and they’re transitory, a post you see as you’re scrolling through to somewhere else, not static, like a dedicated profile page.

pseudonymity veers too close to anonymity. an anonymous author cannot have a biography. a pseudonymous author can, but biographies may be seen as defeating the purpose of writing under a pseudonym, or multiple pseuds. a sock account is a sock for a reason -- you don’t want it associated with your main. moreover, i believe fandom creates an environment in which to acknowledge your accomplishments and promote your own content is seen as narcissistic. fanfiction can sometimes be seen as a genre of selflessness, donating time and energy into a community centered around a shared canon, not personal gain. to acknowledge the self publicly is to invite attention, and attention is contradictory to anonymity.

shame and humility. the more information you have on the internet, the easier you are to find. very few fanauthors use their real names, or feel comfortable connecting their fan identity to their real one. i hear pretty constantly how often fanauthors hide their fannishness from their coworkers and loved ones, how only the people closest to them know they write/read fanfic. moreover, you might think “my most popular fic only has 10 kudos and 1 comment, nobody wants to know about me” (which is so not true, but i’ll get to that in a minute).

fandom is constantly changing. with a central archive for fanfiction in place, it’s easier now to be in multiple fandoms at once than it ever has been. if you want to read all sugar daddy fics, there’s a tag for that, and if you’re not picky about canon, you have an entire buffet of fandoms to choose from. communities are growing and shifting and changing shape. i move fandoms, and i keep my friends and readers from previous fandoms. i get dragged to new fandoms frequently. my interests and inspirations change, but i don’t erase my history or identity every time i move, i only add to it. i am always betts whether i’m in star wars or the 100 or game of thrones. but if you only read my fic, you don’t know the stories behind it. many people don’t know i entered fandom in the brony convention community in 2012, or that i was sadrobots before i was betty days before i was betts, or how fandom changed my life and led me through a path of personal trauma recovery, or that i co-founded wayward daughters, or ran the fanauthor workshop, or all these other things about fanfic that is not fanfic itself. 

if you are a fan creator, your fannish personal narrative matters. telling your story helps preserve the metatextual history of our genre.

i think constantly about what our genre will look like in 30 or 50 years, if it will be like other genres that began as subversions of the mainstream: comic books, beat literature, science fiction. genres that, at the time involved groups of friends creating stories for each other, bouncing ideas off of one another, experimenting with or distorting other genres, and which became, over time, well-regarded forms with rich histories. 

maybe one day, like the MCU, we’ll have a dedicated production company that churns out adaptations of longform coffee shop aus written between 2009 and 2015. maybe “BNFs” will be read in high school literature curriculums. maybe our work will end up on the real or virtual shelves of our great grandchildren. and if that happens, if fanfic goes entirely mainstream, how will fanfic authorship be perceived? how will fanpeople in 2080, if humanity is still around by then, interact with the lexicon we’ve created and preserved? what would you do if you found out Jane Austen wrote under five different sock accounts across three platforms over the span of twenty years? how would you, a fan of Pride & Prejudice, even begin to find all of her work?

we have so many social constraints pushing against us. there’s purity culture, which encourages further division of identity -- fanauthors may write fluff on their main and have various sock accounts for underage/noncon fics. if you’re a scarecrow, you’re much harder for a mob to attack. there’s misogyny, which dictates women/queer ppl shouldn’t be writing about or indulging in or exploring their sexuality at all. there’s intellectual property and a history of DMCAs, which, although kept at bay by the OTW, may still have influence on the “illegal” mentality of our work. with social armies against us, it’s easier to exist in the shadows, on the fringe. we change URLs based on our moving interests, and split our identities a million different ways, and keep sarcastic “me” tags full of self-deprecating text posts. we are difficult beasts to catch, because we have not been allowed to exist.

i spent a lot of time today googling the word for “pseudonymous biography” and came up empty-handed (if someone knows of an existing word, pls let me know. “pseudography” is apparently a fancy word for a typo; “pseudobiography” is a fake biography), so for lack of anything better, i’ve come up with the term “socknography” because 1) it’s funny and doesn’t sound intimidating, and 2) it encapsulates the sensitive and complicated way fanauthor identifying conventions work. and also i think “fanauthor biography,” “bibliography,” and “profile” just doesn’t cut it for the actual work of these pieces. they don’t necessarily include IRL biographical data, they include more historical/community context than a bibliography, and the words “profile” and “about me” don’t really inspire interaction, or acknowledge the archival importance of this work.

astolat’s fanlore page is my go-to example. astolat writes under multiple pseuds and has major influence in the history of fandom. she’s also a traditionally published author, but you notice, her ofic novels are not mentioned, nor any other real-life identifying information. fanlore has a really good policy on this in place, for those concerned about doxxing. 

(moreover, i am not suggesting you centralize your socks. they’re socks for a reason. but most everyone has a main, and that main identity has a story.)

there are 2 existing spaces to preserve socknographies. 

fanlore, a wiki owned by the OTW, you can make an account and create a user page (which is different than a “person” page) using a user profile template

ao3′s “profile” page, which is a big blank box in which anything goes

(i’m not including tumblr on this list because i don’t think it’s a stable platform.) 

fanlore’s template is straight to the point and minimal, which doesn’t really invite narrative the same way a literary bio would. ao3′s big blank box leaves us with the question -- wtf do i say about myself? how do i say it? how much is too much? and because of that, most profiles are either blank or only include a policy on translations/podfic/fanart, and maybe links to tumblr and twitter. but let me tell you, if i have read your fic and taken the time to move over to your profile, you better believe i am a fan. and as a fan, i want to Know Things.

here are the things i want to know, or

a potential template:

introduction (name/alias, age, location, pronouns, occupation)

accomplishments (degrees, personal history)

fan history (fandoms you’ve been in, timeline as a fan, how you were introduced to fandom/fanfiction, what does fandom mean to you -- this is where your fan narrative goes)

fandom participation (popular fics/posts, involvement in fan events/communities, side blogs, interviews, etc. 3 & 4 might be one and the same for you)

spotlight (which of your fics are most important to you/would you like others to read and why? what are the stories behind your favorite fics you’ve written?)

find me elsewhere* (links to tumblr, twitter, insta, etc.)

policies on fanart, fanfic of fic, podfics, and translations

*you cannot link to ko-fi, paypal, patreon, or amazon on ao3/fanlore per the non-commercial terms of service

i’ll be working on filling this out for my own profile as an example, but you can also see how my @fanauthorworkshop participants filled out their fanauthor spotlights, and the information they provided. obviously, you should only share that which you feel comfortable sharing, and as your fandom life changes, your narrative will change too. it’s not much different than updating a CV or resume.

tl;dr the goal is to provide a self-narrative of your fan life/identity for posterity. who are you and why are you a fanperson? why do you create fan content? what are you proud of and what do you want to highlight to others? who are you in this space?

[theshinsun]

brace urself, this is for the writing meta ask: 2, 6, 7, 14, 17, 19, 20 (if you need a direction for this... I always wanted to hear more about Bring Me Roses), 21, 22, and 24 bc i'm nosy and still very into your craft. thank you buddy!!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm so excited/terrified to finally start my knb college AU. I've been sitting on this idea for almost two years I'm so ready but at the same time I'm so not ready.

The gist is it's every single self-indulgent, chaotic, projection-ridden idea I've ever wanted for these boys all rolled in a big ball of shenanigans and character growth. It's a beautiful mess and I can't wait to make it happen as soon as ANR is done.

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

This is gonna come right the fuck out of left field, but I love writing Himuro. I have so much fun writing just... snark, and that boy is the perfect outlet, there's no bottom to that salt mine. I remember getting a similar kick out of writing Tsukishima in the past, I just live for sassy dialogue. It ain't much but it's honest work.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

My style is very present, I think (which is funny bc there was a time I never would have considered writing present tense) focusing on what's happening and how it makes the character feel in the moment. I like to write specific, detailed imagery, but I try to keep it short and relevant to the scene, so I can move along and focus on what's important. I wouldn't call it fast-paced, exactly, but it is pretty to-the-point. And I think, based on the feedback I've received, that people who read my fics might agree with that. I've heard that my writing is very personal and character-driven, and I think that might be a byproduct of the time I spent writing in first person. Now I write almost exclusively third person limited, but I still like to get in the character's head and tell the story from their "point of view", I guess. 

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

It depends almost entirely on how quick I'm able to come up with a pun lol. Sometimes a fic has a title before I've even written the first sentence, sometimes I have to scramble for something, anything in the last few seconds before I publish it. A lot of the time I'll have a working title like "that one really fucked up aokaga oneshot" for pretty much the duration of writing a new fic… and a lot of the time I'll end up using song titles, even though we're past the days of writing songfics. 

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I think, to a degree, people get different things from my writing than I intended -- which is good! The way a piece of writing can be interpreted completely differently depending on who's reading it is one of the best things about being a writer tbh. I think people might be surprised, though, how different my fics often turn out from how I set out to make them. These days I've usually got a pretty detailed outline for what's going to happen, but even with all the preparation in the world, sometimes a fic will take a sudden detour I didn't expect, or something I wrote before will take on new meaning and change the direction I meant to go in. This definitely happens more with my longer fics, but there are times even with oneshots where I look back at what I set out to write, and what I ended up writing, and they're completely different.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

I tend to write a lot of scenes with characters talking while in the car (cars are an intentional motif in ANR, but in something like GWGE there's not actually a lot of narrative purpose to this) I don't know why, maybe because it's a convenient way to have characters talk one-on-one, or maybe it's because I've had a lot of meaningful conversations while riding passenger, couldn't tell you, but it's cropped up more than once in my current fics and will probably feature in some of my upcoming ones (the college AU strikes me as a likely candidate), and I think it's worth taking note of.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

SINCE you mentioned Bring Me Roses, and I never really get to talk about it, pls allow me to go on a lengthy tangent about my most underrated fic of all time. (Like 90% of the reason it's still incomplete almost two years later is because the response when I posted it was so underwhelming, but I still stand by it. Someday I'll finish it, hopefully, if just for myself.) 

I'm so fucking proud of the language in this one. It's not perfect, by any means, but the imagery in my opinion is very strong, and almost every line of dialogue is saying something without really saying it. There are frequent allusions that something happened to Aomine's mother, relatively recently, and that Momoi is worried about him overworking out of grief or guilt, but none of those things are ever actually stated. There's also some pretty heavy implicit flirting between Aomine and Kuroko, even if it's a bit unusual and they're both playing it coy at this stage, the chemistry is there and the interest is mutual. And of course, because it's a florist AU, the flower symbolism… I spent so long researching bouquets, plant husbandry, how to prep and preserve cut flowers, and of course… flower meanings. The main ones that keep getting brought up are dahlias, which have just as many negative connotations as positive ones, including betrayal and instability, but also dignity, creativity and change, and come in a variety of colors shapes and even sizes (Islander or "dinnerplate" dahlias were definitely going to feature in part 2… as well as the connection between them and Aomine's mother). I know a lot of these things might not hit as hard because there's no actual payoff (yet), but still, in terms of "show don't tell" and setting up things to come, I don't think I have a single better example in my fic repertoire, I really went all out with this.

It's a shame I never got to follow through, but I got the impression that there just wasn't a lot of interest, and even if that alone is kind of a dumb reason not to continue, after I worked so hard to pull off what I did, the lack of response really killed my motivation. (I wonder sometimes if it would've been better received if it was an AoKaga fic… actually, I don't need to wonder, I'm sure it would have been, but that's not the story I set out to tell and I'm not going to change it.)

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Oh, I'd love to do some of my fics as comics. I even tried it at one point; GWGE was going to be a comic originally, before I decided a multichapter fic would probably be less exhausting (the first couple pages are still floating around in my art tag somewhere, though this was back in high school so the quality is… heh).

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Yeah… I reread a lot. Usually while I'm working on a new chapter, I'll go over the ones that lead up to it to make sure I don't repeat the same phrases too much and that the continuity lines up, and I'll also admit to going back and just reading my own fics for fun. Sometimes the only one who's written exactly what I want to see is me. 

How I feel about them depends on the fic… some of my older ones are a mix of nostalgia and cringe tbh, but there are some I still genuinely enjoy revisiting from time to time. 

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Oh hell yeah. For… better and worse, honestly. I feel like I've lost some fluidity and confidence in my writing, and it sometimes turns kind of stilted, so I try to overcompensate which results in pretty jarring changes of tone, but at the same time, I've gotten much better with rhythm and syntax, my grammar skills are always improving, and I'm able to incorporate a lot more intentional meaning and subtext without always stating things outright.

[jothriku]

alex.... alex.... tell me more about the dancer au. more soriku?? more roxas?? more vanitas?? pls??? i am Very into this it's so good ;u;

hghjdffii WELL

sora loves ballet, even tho he decided not to pursue it with his brother & riku. vanitas & aqua might be the best ballet dancers sora knows, but riku is the most beautiful in sora’s opinion. like...i imagine sora realizes he’s in love with riku at one of riku’s recitals...sora’s in the crowd, grinning to himself and as he’s watching riku on the stage, he thinks ‘i could be happy just watching riku dance for the rest of my life’ and then his grin drops & his face TURNS SO RED and he mutters a tiny ‘oh’ under his breath. when sora, kairi, & ven meet up with riku, vani, & naminé after the show, sora is a stuttering mess BC HE KNOWS NOW. riku asks sora if he liked the show and sora only just barely stops himself from blurting out ‘ILOVEYOU!’ instead of ‘ILOVEDIT!’

roxas, i imagine, was probably reluctant to try out gymnastics. it doesn’t really seem like something that’d be his style at first glance, but rox & xion both bond with lea really quickly and he starts to find it almost as fun as skateboarding! xion competes at a national level, but roxas doesn’t really care too much about that and instead just tries to have fun and enjoy himself (he’s still really fucking good tho!). roxas will never admit it, but more often than not his whole family & a number of his friends will show up to cheer him on at competitions and he appreciates it (even when riku shows up lol). the better he performs, the more obnoxious they get and he’s really fond of it hfghjgf

vanitas is just old enough and good enough to already be getting offers to join different ballet companies, but he’s not sure what he wants to do. especially since aqua has already left and joined a ballet company herself. for the longest time, even tho he’s good at ballet and likes it, it seemed to him like he was just doing it bc it’s what everyone expected of him. this is the type of stuff he talks to riku about. he feels like none of his other siblings would really understand, especially not ven. in fact, vanitas is often jealous of his twin bc he perceives him as having so much freedom. riku asks vani ‘would you be happy without dancing in your life?’ and vani can’t answer right away. in fact, he takes a really long time to understand what his answer to that is.

ANYWAYS IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR SOME PPL LIKE THIS AU BC!!! IT’S REALLY JUST THE MOST SELF INDULGENT THING EVER AND IT ALL STARTED WITH THOSE CONCEPT ARTS OF RIKU’S FIGHTING STYLE LOL

[bthump]

frame-to-frame replied to your post “frame-to-frame replied to your post “chaoticunneutral replied to...”

That’s fair, this prob does partly come down to semantics – i.e. his being purposefully v. unconsciously unaware. B/c I agree in those terms that Griffith is purposefully unaware of his guilt, but I’m resistant to Griffith being unconsciously unaware generally, which this can easily be conflated with – that he’s so emotionally stunted he can’t recognize his feelings for what they are. A valid take ofc, just I think not my cup of tea? Though I’m open to being convinced lol. This is such a subtle point to debate lol, but I still think both can be at play wrt his feelings for Guts – purposeful unawareness alongside an acknowledgement (on some level) of his attraction to him. Griffith is all about emotional repression, we know that, he needs it to keep his dream alive. I just don’t think this is incompatible with him also pining for Guts I think it comes down to how in control of his feelings he thinks he is. What sells me on this reading is “How long ago did someone I was supposed to have in hand instead gain such a strong hold on me?” b/c that brings control right into the way he thinks about his attraction to Guts. He can still acknowledge his attraction & even try to seduce Guts while also writing those feelings off as a crush/lust (which he can tell himself he’s in control of) Where the purposeful unawareness comes into play is wrt the true significance of these feelings: that they pose a threat to his dream. B/c however you read Griffith’s awareness, the “do I need a reason” scene is significant in that he has no coping mechanism to explain his actions. He clearly goes the route of purposeful unawareness afterward, but ofc it didn’t have to go that way if they hadn’t been interrupted  I’m not sure I understand why the ch12 friend speech interferes w this, I think your meta still works with this reading, so you’ll have to elaborate pls! B/c to me it seems that either way he’s trying to diminish the depth of his feelings for Guts in response to a perceived rejection from him – and he can still know that what he’s saying is BS in his heart of hearts. Sry for length

Yeah I’d say it’s definitely more of a purposeful unawareness. While I think he is emotionally stunted in some ways, he’s not at all ignorant or lacking in emotional intelligence. LIke he’s actually really (uncannily at times, eg Foss) good at picking up on other people’s feelings, he’s empathetic (eg his interactions with Casca after saving her from the nobleman), he’s very socially aware and competent, etc.

But imo where his own feelings are concerned he has a giant blind spot. And tbh I do think that he is kind of incapable of recognizing a lot of his own feelings, not so much because of naivety but because he’s too used to avoidance and not used to confronting them directly. Like, it’s a willful blind spot, like we’re saying, it’s an ingrained negative coping mechanism. Maybe it started when people started dying at his orders, or maybe earlier, but yk, imo he deals with negative or inconvenient feelings by not dealing with them, by denying them entirely, and because of that he just has very little experience actually trying to understand his own feelings. But yeah like, I don’t think that’s exactly undeniable canon or anything lol, it’s more of a headcanon, and fair enough if it’s not your thing.

Hmm and while I definitely lean heavily on his emotional repression to be fair I def don’t think he’s incapable of examining his own feelings without lying to himself. We’ve seen moments of vulnerable emotional sincerity, eg “maybe it was my dream that killed this boy,” “am I dirty?” “do you think I’m cruel?”

I guess that to me those moments feel fleeting and quickly replaced by the denial and the mask, while I could see others reading those moments and seeing them as glimpses of Griffith’s more typical inner thoughts, which he just hides from others, rather than from himself. But yeah to me it always comes back to that monologue in the river - I just can’t read it as Griffith knowingly lying to Casca, imo it feels like pure bullshitting himself through a near breakdown, and it feels like a very powerful encapsulation of Griffith’s character as a whole. His moments of emotional self awareness don’t last because they’re painful, so they get buried.

But when it comes to Griffith’s feelings for Guts, ia that his denial method of dealing with his feelings isn’t necessarily incompatible with him still pining for Guts. Like guilt is a very different feeling from love, so it makes sense that he’d bury guilt but yk maybe not love. And I agree that self control is a big factor for Griffith, so yeah I could definitely see that if he feels like he’s got a handle on his feelings he wouldn’t need to avoid them/deny them.

And also because thematically Griffith’s feelings for Guts do lead to greater emotional self awareness in contrast to how he buries most of his feelings in pursuit of his dream, it makes sense on that level too that he’d be more aware of his feelings for Guts.

But I like Griffith being an unselfaware idiot who doesn’t even know he’s in love until he’s in a torture chamber lol. I love pining, but I also love the idea of Griffith lying to himself about Guts too, telling himself Guts is just a tool to help him win a war, that Guts will in all likelihood die for him so he has to does see him as just a soldier, etc. And steadfastly refusing to think about his feelings when he can’t cover them with a lie.

Idk I get that it could seem like, awkwardly naive and weird, but the way I imagine it is more like... bear with me because I’m about to get self indulgent and just talk about my Griffith headcanons lol, but basically I don’t picture Griffith sitting down and dwelling on his feelings if he can help it. It’s not like he saved Guts’ life the first or second time and thought “oh why did I do that? weird, idk, he’s a good soldier I guess, that must be it.” The way I see it it’s more like he just puts it out of his mind and doesn’t think about it. He socializes, he reads every book in his study, he learns to be the best at the sword as a teenager, he leads and fights and thinks of tactics, etc etc. Guts spends a lot of his time navelgazing about his feelings, but I don’t think Griffith does

He can think about intellectual things, like his goals and fate and his life philosophy but to me those all feel like smokescreens obscuring the emotional truths behind them. And when he gets too close to thinking about those emotional truths, he would have a million ways to distract himself, like by now I figure he’s just pretty pro at derailing his train of thought onto safer territory.

But yeah like the “do I need a reason” scene could’ve easily lead to a moment of emotional honesty and awareness if they hadn’t been interrupted imo. I mean it already was, it just didn’t get a chance to get very far. And afterwards I could definitely see Griffith contemplating his feelings for Guts honestly, giving thought to the way he cares about him and what it means, because he doesn’t automatically avoid those particular emotions. Maybe he already knows he’s attracted to him, or maybe he doesn’t bc of internalized homophobia, but the realization of love is burgeoning. Or I could see him already knowing and accepting how he feels and wishing Guts would catch up and finally understand that he’s not just another soldier to him. Or I could see him turning his thoughts towards seducing Charlotte, buying more books, investigating the attempted assassination, and deciding to ask Guts for help because he trusts him innately, without ever stopping to properly think about what saving Guts from Zodd meant. (And I default to the last one but I like all three.)

Lastly wrt the Promrose speech I just meant more generally that it’s a direct contradiction in the story that requires the reader to put some thought into Griffith’s character to reconcile it. Griffith prioritizes Guts above his dream, 5 chapters later Griffith says he has no friends. (It also contradicts the river monologue nicely, “for no other’s sake, for him, himself alone... a dream” vs “but if for their sakes, for the sake of the dead, if there’s something I can do, that thing is to win.)

And imo that basically just means that the Promrose speech has to be bullshit because it’s contradicted by actions and words in a much more emotionally revealing moment, but it’s up to the reader to decide if it’s bullshit Griffith has convinced himself is true, or if he’s just lying to Charlotte. Not that it contradicts anything we’re discussing.

[labvrnvm-blog]

jodie comer, slytherin, pure blood. — that’s VICTOIRE MALFOY, who is in the INTERMEDIATE class. SHE is TWENTY TWO and supposedly they are very ENTHRALLING & PERCEPTIVE, though they can also be very MANIPULATIVE & MATERIALISTIC.

name: victoire eleanor malfoy

age: twenty two

sexual orientation: pansexual  

romantic orientation: panromantic

languages spoken: english (native), french (fluent, mother's father's tongue)

moral alignment:  neutral evil

sin: gluttony

personality traits: curious, spontaneous, expressive, confident; willful, humorous, dynamic, indulgent; immature, deviant, uncompromising, untrustworthy

hair color: honey blonde curls falls gracefully against her back, nearly her backside; if not completely loose, it is tied in a simple braid, decorated with some lavish.

eye color: hazel, of the shades of green & grey.  

height: 170cm    

build: sick as a child, she grew up rather robust, and womanhood shaped her finely, generously -- she is tall and voluptuous, what may be perceived as hourglass nowadays, and actively healthy of constitution.

scars & birthmarks: she has a nearly imperceptible "dent" on her forehead, and her feet are littered by scars gained by terrain exploring in her youth.

the youngest of the malfoy lot at the school, victoire was a bit sickly as a child, so she was often by her mother's skirts. there was an ironic, rather morbid thought between the parents, that she would not live up to her name, or adulthood at all. so morgan took up her youngest girl under her wings, became a more hands on mom (a rarity for the time, i believe). she made all sorts of potions and charms to heal and strengthen victoire, who loved the attention she was getting. 

so victoire grew a bit like her mother's creature. she took to potions (and subsequently, herbology and botany), like morgan did, and she was also lectured extensively in legilimens /occlumens. her mother wanted her to be the perfect wife to make the malfoy grow even more, and, for that, she should be both empathetic and manipulative, and lowkey enough not to be noticed.

the lessons paid off and victoire is extremely talented in reading people; this was put into action so she would be the perfect wife, dutiful to her family. in some ways, she is that, but victoire is also extremely self-serving and indulgent, a bit of a rebel child, and she prefers to obey to her whims and curiosity rather than act on an extremely calculating ways.

that being said, do Not trust her. 101% fake, selfish bitch, totally out for herself & just trying to have a good time, exploring what she has been denied throughout her rather toxic, sheltered upbringing. i suppose her sinful, cunning mindset was what got her into slytherin, although she could have fallen into ravenclaw with her broad mind, or gryffindor with her cheekiness.

although she was bred into purist thoughts, with the malfoy motto being made by her father, she is very whatever about it. she is entitled and feels superior, but she is not above mingling with them, or anyone for that matter.

she enjoys being perceived as a ditsy, bit air headed blonde angel. being underestimated is where she shines, because bitch is resilient and spiteful af. catch her always with a duplicitous smile on her face, and quietly thinking shit.

WANTED CONN:

a suitor/future or current betrothed: the malfoy have high ambitions, so this would have to be a pureblood man of some wealth and/or relevancy.

previous betrothed(s): despite how her mother wanted her to be the dream-like trophy wife, she has escaped any sorts of compromises through her years. there could have been feelings in one of those, but her flight instinct was too big and now they meet again.

childhood/society friends: the malfoy have grown in fortune over just two generations in england, so victoire definitely has those. she has always been quite bubbly and friendly too so!!

friends/classmates/housemates/flirtations/crushes: honestly, how can i even limit those??

JUST BRING ME ALL THE PLOTS. PLS!!!

[kennothythebard]

Things I’ve learned about writing DEH characters

THIS IS NOT A GUIDE BY ANY MEANS THIS IS JUST SOME OBSERVATIONS AND THINGS I DO.

So while researching for and writing “A Worthy Explanation” (pls read i crave validation) I’ve noticed a lot of little things that I don’t always see mentioned in writing guides for these characters so I thought I’d point some of these out. Idk how love this is going to be so I’ll prolly put a cut here.

General

I like to create kind of a “loneliness chart” and graph the kids on it (looks kinda like those political alignment things). On one axis theres introverted vs. extroverted, and on the other theres like polite vs. rude I guess? But in summary: Evan is introverted polite, Jared is extroverted rude, Alana is extroverted polite, Connor is introverted rude, and Zoe... is just kinda generally lonely. Where she falls really depends on what’s going on with her (but she typically is a less extreme introverted rude than Connor).

Obviously each character has their own faults, but I often see these faults viewed quite selectively, see “cinnamon roll evan” and “fucking larry” for two very different examples of this phenomenon. Evan is not perfect and always trying to be nice, and Larry is not a super abusive parent who deserves no happiness in this life. They’re both complex and it’s hard to let go of our misconceptions to write truer to the characters (e.g. I really, Really don’t like Larry. I see him as a lousy father who just kind of chose to be “the strict one” but does nothing but criticize and dole out punishment, ignoring his kids any other time), but that’s an important part of deh, is that people aren’t always what we perceive them to be.

Evan

Evan is often viewed as like a cinnamon roll, but in act 2 especially Evan gets mean. Like, he’s dismissive and rude and angry and just a jerk. Evan can be just as bad if not worse than some of the “angrier” characters

Ppl often talk about his lying as his biggest character flaw, but I’d argue that most of the lying we see in the show just stems from the one lie which he was kinda forced to make bc he was in a bad place (i mean, thats pretty much the entire point of awe).

The character flaw that I don’t see discussed enough is that he’s ashamed of his mental illness. He’d rather pretend it’s not there, even when it impacts every part of his life. He doesn’t do the letters the way his therapist assigned them, he’s apprehensive towards medication and stops taking it, and basically feeds into his self-destructive tendencies, arguing his mother sees his as “broke” or something to be fixed.

Jared

I love writing Jared

There’s already a lot about what a complex character he is and stage directions, but one thing that most people notice is his actions frequently contradict his words. Take the sincerely me reprise at the start of act 2. Why would he try to insert himself into the narrative at this point? What good would that do at this point? When evan dismisses him he gets annoyed and defensive. He says that he can’t do anything until Monday because he’s hanging with his camp friends (whom he claims are his “real friends,” a term he will later ascribe to himself regarding Evan in Good For You), and when Evan dismisses him again he tries to offer to help with the kickstarter, but is quickly shot down once more by Evan. Despite what seems to be a natural ending place in the conversation, he insists on continuing to talk with Evan, and when Evan cuts him off again he becomes rude and slightly threatening. This happens over the course of maybe three minutes and it’s one of the most insightful scenes to jared’s character

When writing a canon-compliant Jared, his actions and thoughts should conflict with his words. He cares about Evan but he’d never say that out loud (in more canon-compliant fics), and it hurts when he’s pushed away, which he responds to with anger.

Zoe

Zoe is one of the most difficult characters to write, imo.

She’s often portrayed in a slightly sweeter, saccharine way in fanon as just like a fun, silly girl who is just a tad sarcastic, but really you can tell that she’s Connor’s brother. She’s angry, blunt, unafraid of speaking her mind, etc. Yes, she is funny and kinda sarcastic, but her sarcasm isn’t always of the funny variety. She’s obviously angry at her parents, but this often comes across as a “doesn’t love them” variety of anger when her real feelings seem to be much more complex. 

Basically, I’m still learning a lot about writing her but I think just like the other kids she’s a little lonely, so Evan comes along and he’s there and that’s enough for her. She has such a wide range of emotions that I don’t feel are always accurately represented, even by me. (especially by me)

Alana

Hella, hella lonely. Covers it up by talking to people and doing extracurriculars. Sure, “college apps” is her excuse for why she does so much, but it’s not the real reason. If she keeps busy, she doesn’t have to be alone with her thoughts. But at the same time she has similar fears to Evan about people seeing the worst of her. “Close acquaintances” seems to be a statement about how little she makes friends, but I also see it as a defense mechanism. If she remains “close acquaintances” with people, she’ll never have to be their friend and they’ll never have to see the worst of her.

She’s cheerful and annoying, but in the way that pisses high schoolers off. Like, we all knew that one kid who was just way way too nice, and most of us were like “yeah ok they’re pretty cool i guess” but like some people just hated their positivity. It also doesn’t help that she tries to insert herself in situations she hasn’t been invited in, and does some questionable things to help her accomplish her goals. (Evan/Alana contrast: Evan does questionable things to accomplish internal goals, Alana does them to accomplish external goals)

Gets easily distracted. Forgets to sign Evan’s cast in scene 1. Her mind has a million different thoughts at any given moment. It wouldn’t be out of line to headcanon ADHD Alana (some of the things she does reminds me of the things I do when I forget my meds).

Connor

?????

We don’t see a lot to really get a huge insight into his personality. We know he was angry and had some serious mental illness.

We also know that he could recognize when he went too far and would go out of his way to make amends. (Why was he in the computer lab? Why did he sign Evan’s cast?) He may recognize a kindred spirit in Evan.

Clearly he doesnt hate his family (he goes to school despite not wanting to go, and seeing Zoe’s name is what sets him off showing possible concern), and it would not surprise me to learn that he thought his family would be better and happier without him. He clearly has intense emotions and reactions even to things that might seem minuscule or inconsequential. When writing him in canon, I think of a rubber band stretched too tight, and any characters action could loosen or tighten the pulling.

Heidi

Such an emotional character, I nearly break my own heart when I’m trying to writer her.

Theres two odd kind of paradoxes in a parent-child relationship like that between Heidi and Evan. For Heidi, the paradox is that the more she wants to do for Evan, the less she can actually be there for him. For Evan, he wants his mother to succeed and loves her so much that he might even encourage her to not worry about him or spend time with him, but then resents that she’s never there. Or at least when he meets a mother who can provide and be there.

Heidi pretty much worries herself sick over Evan. Evan comes before everything else in her life, and so it’s easy for her to feel like she failed him, which is a huge reason for her intense reaction in Good for you: evan has just confirmed her fears that she’s failed him.

Heidi tries so hard, but she isn’t perfect. She’s clearly very sensitive about money or about Evan’s father, and this sensitivity can easily change to anger or passive-aggressiveness. She has deep insecurities that we may never see or fully comprehend.

Cynthia

Mom. like shes completely a mom. like, “can i speak to your manager?” type mom.

Loves her kids and tries to be supportive but struggles communicating with two very headstrong, sarcastic kids

she probably wouldn’t say this, but takes connor’s death very personally. wonders why he would do this to her 

Is desperate for her children to listen and understand her. Which Evan is more than willing to do.

A little bit selfish? Like, thinks about what will make her better rather than accepting everybody grieves differently

Larry

Fucking larry. I don’t like him and he’s the hardest character for me to write.

Ok since I made such a big deal about it in the intro i’ll try to be nicer than id normally be

A masculine archetype. Sports dad, wants sports son, which Connor isn’t

He’s got some really ableist/misogynistic tendencies that causes the intense demonization of him in the fanon but I mean... he could be worse i guess? (that’s literally the best i can say about that so yeah i dont like him at all)

Really just oblivious. Completely ignored Connor’s need for help, does not know how to read a room, you could say he frequently has a foot in his mouth if it weren’t so intentional.

I mean...probably a good guy if you can get past all that stuff? just really, really self absorbed.

yikes that was long. Again, not really a guide, just some things I think about when writing these characters. if you read this far at all thank you for indulging me this much.