#pls root for us from a distance

[rmbaloncesto]

sorry i was too busy screaming on twitter but WE ARE ON THE FINAL

[eundiarys]

SOUR GRAPES! — park sunghoon ( 박성훈 )

⊹ pairing — park sunghoon x fem! reader.

having a tragic ending with your first love from highschool is terrible, but what’s worse is now you’re both idols from the same company. you always managed to keep your distance — until one day, a dating scandal about you and him gets posted on twitter. leading to you both forced to fake date eachother.

inspired by sour grapes by lesserafim

⊹ genre — fake dating, idol! au, ex lovers to fake lovers to real lovers, second chance romance, fluff, crack, teeny bit of attempted angst.

⊹ disclaimer — 1) please note that this isn’t the actual representation of the idols and that this is only for entertainment 2) duna from cheotsarang/csr is used to potray yn 3) taglist is open until the sec batch

⊹ jules’s notes 📝 — im back to my roots… another smau of fake dating and idol au… except this time with enha LOL hope u silly people like this

⊹ status — ONGOING + recommended to read on mobile

chapters | profiles -> letserafree enhaipen extras

one | you absolutely fumbled

two | can’t believe this is my life

three | kinda awks..

four | not so what i planned

started on 20.4.23 posted on 21.4.23 ended on ???

taglist (open!) — @yeomha @zuyairus @eulris @ddeonudepressions @sserafimez @eulris @ox1-lovesick @reverbtunes @vernonweb @flwoie @ja4hyvn @xiaoderrrr @galaxyhalloes @j4y-lvr @nshimura @taegyuul @gyudiarys @yenqa @haknom @rosyz4na @ifearjwn @beomgyusonlywife @tinydeerwasteland @txtandroll @sparklingsjy @sxftiell @shinrjj @straykids-riley @astrae4 @mimisamisasa @arizejkt19 @miko1ly @ddazed-lhs @all4yoi @noascats

© eundiarys 2023 — pls don’t copy or repost without permission!

[stillfrownyclownlol]

@moonbiine got me with the Aiden bug

I thought a lot about how to start this and none of them were good so, here's this;

Frowny's Thesis on Aiden Clark having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) based on the DSM-5 criteria, living with people with BPD (hi dad!), being...me!, and general vibes.

What is BPD?

Borderline Personality Disorder is defined by a prolonged disturbance of function marked by depth and variability of mood, pattern of unstable personal relationships, unstable self-image, marked impulsivity, and other symptoms. They can manifest in very different ways (the way it appears between my dad and my grandma for example is not the same), but generally includes this.

1. Fear of Abandonment

Nobody wants to be left behind, that's a given, but for people with BPD this fear can spiral into a paranoid phobia that impacts all their personal relationships. Because BPD is influenced by environmental factors, this often stems from children being abandoned in their youth (ex. My father was the child of a teen pregnancy and his parents couldn't care for him for the first few years of his life, letting him be raised by his grandparents. I also grew up alternatively without my mom and withouty my dad, and once for a time with neither of them)

It's been shown to us before that Aiden's parents are often absent from the house, for even months at a time. He seems very used to this and it's likely he grew up very isolated or passed around between different relatives. And I do think this shows in his attachment style; he is a very clingy and sort of "decides" to hyperfixate on a certain person (Ash *coughs*) in the hopes that they'll become friends, and he does this very quickly. Already so scared of losing Ash on that roof even tho he's only known her for like 3 months at this point. He really can't bear the thought of her not being with him.

On the subject of Ash he's idolized her sooooo bad she's so screwed. Pls the Angelic lighting filter he puts on her?? SHE CANT SAVE YOU AIDEN. YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. (But i get it its hard) Ties back into how people with BPD see the world in strict black and white, he can't see Ash's flaws and that's how he defends her so much, she's literally like a savior to him and here comes the disciple complex.

He's been forced to move so many times, he's probably made friends who just couldn't keep up the effort of maintaining a long distance friendship and ghosted him, or even him doing the opposite, pushing people away just to avoid the sting of abandonment again. They can't hurt you if you hurt them first.

2. Unstable self-image.

He bleaches his hair end of story /j

No but really, tell me Aiden doesn't put up a persona- he's gone through the phases from quiet gifted kid to an impulsive extroverted mischievous mess. Don't you just look at him and feel the self-hatred coming off in waves?? Dyeing his hair, getting contacts, the ever present grin that must be painful at this point, it's like he can't...look at himself. Like he doesn't want to look at himself.

He can't even face his own problems; he literally paints a clown face on himself after dying cuz he doesn't want to process his feelings about it lol 🫠

Like genuinely, how exactly does Aiden want to be perceived? What is the point of this facade? For himself? For other people? I think he's just trying to shut away his past and start fresh without having to confront it, but...when the root is rotten, nothing healthy can grow, so he needs to get to the source of his issues.

3. Anger regulation problems

Unpopular opinion probably but he seems so angry to me. It's definitely WAY more present in the early chapters like when he goes tf off on Tyler, he was barely controlling himself there asdfghjkl- but I think it manifests more in him attacking the phantoms, it's obviously an adrenaline thing for him but I think he's taking out a lot of anger at the same time too. Even if some of this anger is coming from a righteous place; the desire to protect his loved ones (which ties into the abandonment too, you are still abandoned even when it wasn't their choice), because peope with BPD see the world as smth very...dangerous, I guess is the word? Even if maybe that doesn't apply to themselves

(Fastpass spoilers)

He's also not above taking his anger out on humans either considering he was about to take Alex's eyes out with that paintbrush and was gonna choke the life outta them-

(Done.)

4. Consistent feelings of sadness/worthlessness.

5. Self-injury, suicidal behaviour, suicidal ideation.

Aiden do be a sadboi even with all the smiley faces on his clothes. I think this is probably smth that was way worse when he was younger that led to that depression where he was locked in his room eating junk food and disassociating, and while he's probably coping with it differently it's still smth he struggles with. I mean shiiiiiit, because of his impulsiveness he does kinda cause problems but God he feels SOOOO goddamn bad about it lahdlsj, he was so guilty about the Ash situation, he probably beat himself up so much about that-

Emotions are very extreme, it's 'similar' to bipolar disorder with manic and depressive episodes, except they happen at a much quicker scale (in the same day for ex.) which seems to me how Aiden only lets himself experience positive emotions even tho he's in a deeply stressful situation (even tho there's good parts too like his friends) because he just can't handle having to fully experience those negative emotions.

Check, check, check! Aiden has zero self preservation instincts, he throws himself off walls, gets up close and personal with phantoms that could easily kill him, actually didn't give a fuck about dying?? Actually ENJOYED IT? But didn't wanna do it again because his Favourite person was worried about him and the absolute high of that feeling completely beat out anything else?? Okay man, we get it, you're living for somebody else at this point-

People with BPD suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness and pain is the best kind of distraction for Aiden (cue: him slamming his forehead on the table because he's bored)

6. Impulsive behaviors (aka a bunch of shit which can be summed up as addictions)

Well, for starters, he's an absolute adrenaline junkie, because he feels so constantly empty Aiden wants something to make him feel alive. And adrenaline is the flawless, biological, factual answer to this. Ergo all his octane hobbies and impulsive behaviors. Ties back into his obsessiveness, which, don't get me wrong this doesn't make him a bad guy or anything, we all get a little obsessed with things sometimes, that's just things humans do- but when you have bpd, it's very...difficult to just STAY happy, like an addiction, when the high wears off, they're empty again.

Maybe a bit of a stretch, but considering all the Ramen packets in his room when he was younger I wouldn't be surprised if he had some sort of ED or binge eats (Same bestie.)

Also for sure a reckless driver I'm 99% sure he crashed all those go-karts he drived before.

---

I don't really know where I'm going with this. It's hard to live with somebody who has BPD, it's hard to live with it yourself, it's hard to see other people go through it even when it's hurting yourself. I hate pushing people away, but you get so caught up in your own thoughts, and it just...happens...and when it's done...you really regret it, but it's too late...and you just wonder if things are better like this, being alone and not hurting anybody anymore, cuz they're certainly happy on their own

I don't think anybody who has bpd is automatically a bad person, they just have things harder than normal. People with BPD....they can be amazing artists, or good with animals, or really very kind. They have very big hearts, thats why they feel so deeply. And I think Aiden is a good person, because he has so much love to give, but has never been given an outlet to express that properly, but you can see him making great strides in learning how, with the help of his friends 🧡

Might edit this later when I get my thoughts more clear it's midnight here lol

[friedbaekhyunandeggso]

found you - ch. 2 (part II)

pairing: gojo satoru x female oc (ara natsuna)

tropes: psycho! rival! athlete! yandere! gojo x introvert! booksmart! oc

warnings: 18+ only babes, profanity, pet-names (baby, kitten), stalking/possessive themes, manipulation, dub/non-consented sex, nipple play, size kink (slightly), fingering, begging, oral (f receiving), praising/dirty talk, rough sex, choking (a lil) & jus gojo being unhinged (as usual)

word count/plot: [6.4k] ara catches gojo's attention when news breaks that she is the top academically ranked student in their grade. he is ranked second. he tries to befriend her but she ignores him. despite her obvious disinterest, his obsession begins...

a/n: i took forever to edit this bc for some reason i thought i already posted it LMAo BUT y'all i'm like 75% thru w the next chapter n i'm lowkey scared to post it LMFAO (yes ik i'm a slow writer but pLS bear w me, next chapter is also hella long & wild). anyway tysm for all ur comments on the last post, esp the long ones! i read all of them & they make me happy :,) pls enjoyy

ch. 1 , chapter 2 [ part 1 | part 2 ] , ch. 3

She jolted when she heard a knock on her bedroom window. She glanced over at the electric clock on her desk. 7:16 pm.

She swallowed, glancing over at her bedroom door to make sure it was locked before her head whipped around at the sound of his voice.

“Hi, baby.”

He stepped out from behind the curtains, that easygoing smile on his face. He wore a navy blue half-zip sweater, layered with a white tee underneath and loose-fitted light gray sweatpants. His platinum hair tousled as usual as he approached her. He looked like a model who'd just gotten off-duty.

She was rooted in her seat when he stepped up to her. His hand resting on the back rail of her chair as he bent low to press a light kiss on her neck. His familiar scent wafted over her as she turned away.

His hand slipped over her stomach to subtly push her back flat against the chair. She held back a slight gasp.

“I missed you at school today.” he muttered.

After their ‘altercation’ earlier, he tried to convince her to come back to school with him. He offered to take her in his car but she refused-using the excuse that she already called the school saying she was sick. He then promised that he’d see her after basketball practice. She wasn’t looking forward to it.

For a second, she wondered if she should hide in the basement again but she couldn’t even if she wanted to because her Dad had come home early. He would question why she was in the basement if she stayed there for longer than necessary.

She glanced over at him, her voice low, “My Dad’s home.”

“I know.” he murmured beside her ear, “You told me over text.”

She was hoping that would deter him. She shifted slightly in her seat as his hand began to caress her stomach, “Why are you so afraid of him?” he asked.

She went still-immediately tensing up in her chair. His eyes were attentive as he watched her. Millie had told him that her parents were strict but that was all he knew.

She lightly pushed away his hand from her stomach, “I have to use the bathroom.” she whispered.

His hand wrapped around her neck, his lips at her temple, “Don’t lie to me.”

She shot out of her chair, stepping several steps away from him to get some distance. “I-I don’t want to talk about it.” she gritted out.

She didn’t look at him, her shoulders stiff as she stood still. She felt her arms shaking at her sides as she mentally prepared herself to feel some sort of pain for her defiance. But instead all she was met with was the sound of a low sigh.

She felt hands cup her face and immediately looked up. His eyes glittered, in the same way that the ocean appeared when sunlight skimmed its surface. Not that she would know–she’d only seen it in videos.

He searched her face, “Fine. But you’ll tell me soon. You’ll tell me everything soon.”

He tilted his head, “Every problem of yours is mine.”

She merely stared at him. She wished she could scream. The type of scream that could let out all the frustration she was feeling–let out all the mental torment because she was so tired of feeling like this. She hated the tiny voice in the back of her mind that wanted to tell him everything-everything down to the miniscule details because she was tired. Tired of being so alone.

But she refused to share her problems with someone who was one of her problems themselves.

Why did life have to be this way?

She snapped out of her thoughts when she felt his lips press into hers lightly.

“Let’s go somewhere,” he said, against her lips.

Her eyes widened as she pulled back.

“We have my car. Let’s go somewhere–anywhere you want.” he offered.

She stared at him—silently watching the excitement grow in his eyes.

His hands at her face squeezed slightly, “C’mon, there’s gotta be something you want. Tell me.”

She shook her head, pushing his hands away from her as she looked aside. “I have homework to do.” she muttered.

“Such a good girl.” he teased, before tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She resisted the urge to smack his hand away. He was always finding some excuse to touch her.

“Don’t you have school work to do as well?” she questioned. He was second in rank-right after her-and yet she'd never seen him do any schoolwork.

“I did most of it during my free period. I have some other stuff left but I can do it in the morning.”

“The morning?” she questioned.

He nodded before frowning, “I should’ve just brought my backpack with me. We could’ve studied together.” he pinched her cheek.

She immediately turned her head away and he chuckled. Before she could distance herself any further he grabbed her by the waist.

“I didn’t bring any books so I could pay attention to you, y’know. Now don’t make me sad and tell me where you wanna go.”

She shifted awkwardly in his hold-her hands going to his forearms, “What are you talking about-”

“Ara, I want attention,” he said, flat-out.

She froze, simply staring at him before blurting, “What are you-a baby?”

He grinned, “Yes, your baby.”

He cupped one of her tits, “I got needs, Mama.”

Just as her face twisted up and a chuckle nearly escaped his lips, her Dad’s voice suddenly arose.

“ARA! Come down and do the dishes!”

They both froze.

She pushed herself out of Gojo’s grasp, “Coming!”

Just as she headed towards the door, he grabbed her wrist.

“Listen, you better think of something or else I will.”

She hesitated before pulling her arm away and quickly leaving the room.

She stood outside her room-nervous. She had the excuse she was going to use on the tip of her tongue but she wasn’t sure how he was gonna take it. His reactions always varied.

Just as she reached for the doorknob, her room door opened and someone grabbed her arm–dragging her inside.

“Wha–” she nearly yelled but Gojo clamped his hand around her mouth.

“Shh.” he said as he silently closed the door behind her.

She glared at him, speaking through his hand, “Are you crazy? My Dad could’ve seen you.”

Her Dad had just been making his way up the stairs.

He dropped his hand, “You were taking too long. How many goddamn dishes were they?”

In truth, she had taken a while on purpose.

“A lot.” she mumbled.

He squinted-doubtfully-while watching her cross the room to her desk.

He folded his arms, leaning against the door, “Did you think of something?”

She avoided looking at him, “I seriously have work to do, Satoru..”

He uncrossed his arms, letting them drop to his sides, “I knew you were gonna say that.”

“What the hell..” she muttered, while looking at her open notebook before her. All of the questions she had to work on were already filled in. She flipped the page to see he had answered the rest of the questions as well.

She nearly jumped when she felt his arms slip around her, “Happy birthday.” he teased.

She blinked-in shock. She racked her brain for an excuse. Anything–something—

His arms squeezed around her tighter, pulling her further into his chest. He nuzzled his face into her hair, “My plan.” he murmured, possessively.

Gojo glanced over at her before tugging at her hand in his.

He pulled her into a hug, “You look so damn cute.”

She closed her eyes, merely letting herself get crushed before ducking to pull herself out of his grasp.

“You’re just saying that because I’m in your sweater.”

They had waited until her Dad retreated into his room before leaving through the window. As they waited, Gojo had wanted to pick out her outfit. She refused-instead she decided to wear black cargo pants and a graphic tee she had lying around.

He’d insisted that she wear his half-zip pullover on top because it might be ‘cold’ but in reality he just wanted to fulfill his fantasy of his girl wearing his clothes.

She stopped short, staring at the matte black McLaren P1 parked on the street. She resisted the urge to let her mouth fall open.

She turned around, “I want to go home.”

In truth, she didn’t want to be outside in the first place. She didn’t like the idea of sneaking out, especially with her Dad home but Gojo hadn’t stopped nagging. So instead the argument boiled down to making the trip super quick. He promised she’d be back in her room in a ‘jiffy’.

He grabbed her shoulders, “What happened?”

She couldn’t stand it. Him casually driving a $2 million car. It was downright obnoxious. She hated that she knew such details but it couldn’t be helped. She had a car phase back in middle school.

She glared up at him, “Did you do this on purpose?” she asked, without a second thought.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, sounding genuine-for once.

Her annoyance got the best of her as she spat, “Is this why you wanted to go out this bad? So you can show off.”

He raised a white brow, “Show off? Show off what?”

She eyed him, warily. There’s no way he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. He’s the school’s biggest flexer and he knows it.

She stared at his clueless expression with growing doubt. Does he really not know? Is driving luxury cars that much of a normal occurrence for him? How infuriating.

She looked away from him while responding flatly, “The car.”

He glanced over at the car before looking back at her. His expression blank. He repeated the action with a furrowed brow before finally drawing the connection.

He started to laugh, brightly, “What—No, no. I take the McLaren out sometimes since my Dad’s barely around to use it. It’s not mine.”

She stared at him in dubious shock. He’d said the words so casually it was maddening. Even the airiness of his laugh sounded rich.

She wanted to scoff. As if ownership is the concern. Did he not realize the price of that car could change the entirety of someone’s life? A person could go from homeless to having enough money leftover to leave to their children. She’d be set for life with that kind of money—she’d never have to rely on her Dad again.

“I want to go home.” she murmured. She didn’t think she could step in that car without feeling sick.

His hand came up to her throat and she was forced to look up at him. Her eyes went wide.

His cool, turquoise eyes scanned her face,  “It’s my plan, remember?”

She swallowed, before nodding silently. His hand felt cold on her neck. She wondered if he could feel her pulse.

“Stop worrying.” His hand slid to her jaw, his thumb grazing over her bottom lip, “You’ll be home in no time.”

She stared up at him. Her heartbeat going off at a flimsy rate as she realized there was no getting out of this one. Something about his tone made it clear.

She jolted when his lips suddenly met hers. His lips were delicate—prompting. Light, short kisses that were followed up with another. His hand on her jaw drawing her closer.

The kiss felt like a reminder. A reminder that this was still his way, his rules.

She covered her face in her hands, despite the car windows being tinted already.

She hated the attention.

She knew it was coming-she anticipated it a mile away. There was no way people were going to ignore a car like this at an ice cream parlor.

She already recognized half of the people here from school. It was the local ice cream spot that everyone went to. She was grateful Gojo respected her rule of wanting to keep their ‘relationship’ private because she was certain she’d crumble to dust if she had to step out of the car with that many eyes on her.

And yet, Gojo did it with ease.

She kept her hands over her face when the door of McLaren opened upwards in its obnoxious fashion. She didn’t need to look to know several people were staring at Gojo slip into the car.

She felt something hard poke at the top of her head, “Kitten.”

She raised her head to see him lower a soft serve ice cream cone in front of her. Apparently, that was something she was required to get.

She took it, “Thank you.”

A short laugh left him and she glanced over to see him sitting comfortably in his seat, arm resting on the ledge of the car door. A subtle grin on his lips as he stared at her.

“Is being seen with me that much of a problem?”

She tensed, her grip on the cone tightening as she tried to come up with a safe answer. Her mind drew a complete blank—betraying her.

Her heart beat skyrocketed when she suddenly felt Gojo’s large hand on her thigh. He squeezed.

A soft sigh left his lips and she couldn’t resist glancing his way. She tried to keep the fear off of her face only to freeze when she was met with a rather fond expression on his countenance.

His thumb caressed her thigh, “You’re shyness just makes me want to mess you up more, y’know.”

She was rooted in spot when he leaned over to place a light kiss on the corner of her lip.

He leaned back in his seat, “Go on,” he urged, faint amusement laced in his tone as he gestured towards her cone, “Eat.”

She complied, licking up the side of the soft serve. It was delicious. She couldn’t remember the last time she had it.

“How is it.” he asked, his voice oddly tight.

She licked her lips, before glancing over at him. For once his eyes were dark, nearly black. A thinly amused smile rested on his lips. She couldn’t understand his expression. She stared between his eyes, her heartbeat racing when she realized he looked.. almost.. hungry.

“It’s.. good.” she murmured.

His hand on her thigh squeezed again, making her jolt subtly.

Suddenly his face was in her neck, a breathy sound leaving his lips as his hands slipped underneath her shirt. One hand slid around her back, pulling her close to him by slipping around the curve of her waist. His other hand crept up her stomach before cupping her tits over her bra—squeezing tight.

“I can’t take it,” he nipped at her neck, “You’re gonna look so pretty giving me head.”

Her eyes widened—belatedly clocking why Gojo insisted she get the soft-serve ice cream.

She writhed underneath his hands at her tits, “Ungh—“ she shoved him away with her free hand, “You’re such a pervert.”

A dry laugh escaped him as he leaned back in his seat, running his hands over his face. Her breath stopped short when she saw the outline of something protruding in his sweatpants as he shifted in his seat.

He lowered his hands, his eyes glittering as he faced her. His head still against the headrest, “Only for you.”

“That… doesn’t make it any better.”

A smirk lit his face before his hand suddenly wrapped around her neck. She froze.

“It’s your fault. If you didn’t make my dick hard the second we met, maybe I wouldn’t be like this.”

His fingers began to caress her neck, his eyes sharp-yet endearing somehow. She felt like a flighty dove being petted by its owner-while the owner decided to kill it or not.

“You’re everything I’m not. No one knows a damn thing about you. You barely talk—in fact, you go out of your way to avoid people,” he laughed slightly, “The one friend you got, you made on the bus.”

“You're not involved in sports or clubs—not even a internship or volunteering. You’re somehow on every teacher's good side,” he smirked a bit, “That’s impossible for me.” She didn’t doubt it, Mrs. Finch was living proof.

“You don’t party, drink or smoke,” he shook his head, “You can’t imagine my surprise when your name was called first during ranking.”

His blue eyes shimmered in the dark, “A girl I didn’t even know exists. A quiet ace. Too reserved for her own good.” The words felt almost mocking.

His fingers tightened around her neck, “I was so mad I never noticed you before.”

He chuckled slightly, “Suguru didn’t get it. He didn’t get why I had to know you,“ The corner of his lip tugged upwards, “Why I wanted to peel back every layer of you and figure you out.”

“But I.. I had to understand how someone like you exists. There’s no way someone that smart wouldn’t show it off. There’s no way you’re first in rank with no extracurriculars either, but—you're just that good aren’t you?”

His face was close to hers now, “Have you ever gotten anything below a 95 in your life?”

She wasn’t breathing. It was true. She hadn’t—she wanted to say she was naturally gifted at school. And maybe she was to some extent, but without fail-she always tried on her assignments. No matter how hopeless, depressed and alone she felt. Completing her assignments and getting good grades was the only validation she got. The only validation that felt just.

She happened to get close to teachers because of it. Teachers always respected her intellect, despite her introvertedness.

“It would’ve been easier if I was mad at you,” he mused, a faint smile on his lips, “Suguru thought I was—he thought I felt one upped by you. And I guess I did.. for a bit.”

He chuckled, “Ego is such a fickle thing.. You don’t know how much you bruised mine when you didn’t even speak to me when I first approached you.”

His smile widened, “No one’s ever treated me like that. Even people who don’t like me still spare me a word, at least.”

His hand around her throat drew her closer, “You looked at me like I was nothing.”

A dark smile spread across his lips, “And now I’m gonna become your everything.”

Just as he lowered his lips for a kiss, she wrenched out of his grasp. Her back partly against her seat and the car door as she breathed raggedly. She felt drops of ice-cream slip past her fingers and make puddles on the floor.

She closed her eyes, trembling so bad that she didn’t even want to look at him.

“Ara,” his voice felt distant to her ears, “Araa, did I scare you?”

She flinched when she felt his knuckles graze her cheek, immediately facing the other way before freezing when she realized she wasn’t supposed to act like this. She was supposed to act like she was afraid of falling in love with him.

But how could she? How could she act when he’d completely ruined her just for the sake of his ego. She felt sick—absolutely sick. She wanted to be anywhere else but in the car with him. Home or miles and miles away. Anywhere but here.

“Ara,” his voice was soft, closer, “I’m sorry, kitten, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She flinched once more when she felt his hand run down the crown of her head to her nape, smoothing down her hair.

“I just meant that you’re mine.” his tone was low, assuring. “You were always mine. The rankings just helped me find you.”

His fingers tightened around her nape slightly, “I take care of what’s mine.”

Her exhale came out staggered as she tried not to cry. Her trembling body straightened slightly as she opened her eyes to face him. She knew her eyes were watery.

His eyes were cool, a calm ocean-blue as he assessed her.

“I know.” she murmured, through wobbly lips. Carefully slipping her mask on in silence.

She thought she saw something flicker in his eyes, “Yeah?”

She nodded, her eyes fluttering shut as he drew her closer to him—letting him kiss her. The kiss wasn’t kind. She knew he was tasting her-tasting the ice cream on her lips-her mouth-as he kissed her. His hand on her nape held her firmly as he tilted his head to kiss her more.

The kiss felt like a claim; a claim that seeped further into her skin the longer he held her lips captive. She had a sickening feeling that she was signing her life away.

She knew what was going to happen when they got home. And it was confirmed when he stopped by the convenience store on the way back.

She didn’t need to look in the bag to know he’d gotten condoms. He got her a lollipop, one for himself as well—as if they needed more sweets after all the ice cream they ate.

The second they made it through the window, his eyes were on her—the hunger in them palpable.

She swallowed, stepping backwards slowly, “You're staying the night?” she asked, despite already knowing the answer. 

It took him two strides to stand in front of her, he grasped her chin, “Of course, baby.”

His crystalline eyes scanned her face before he bent over to give her a kiss. Just as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss, she drew her face back.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom.” she didn’t know why she was whispering but it couldn’t be helped.

He stared at her for a moment before releasing her chin. “ ‘Kay, kitten.”

She quickly entered the bathroom attached to her room and locked the door. The second she was alone, she teared up. She wished she could stay in the bathroom forever. What would he do if she did? Would he break in the bathroom door? Would the sound of that awaken her Father?

She shivered, hugging herself tight as she hunched over the sink. She felt like she was going to throw up.

Her hands went to the countertop’s edge, her fingers tightening around its sides as she forced herself to breathe. She couldn’t afford to break down just yet. Gojo was waiting in the room for her and who knows what he would do if she took too long.

She closed her eyes, wanting to scream. She knew what she didn’t want to do but she knew what she had to do.

“It’s just an act,” she whispered to herself, her voice cracking, “Just an act.”

Her body gradually went from trembling to stiller than stone as she convinced herself-convinced herself that she could do this. Despite every nerve ending in her body telling her to run as far away as possible.

She didn’t dare look in the mirror before her; she knew one look into her own eyes would make her lose all resolve. Instead, she straightened and stepped out of the bathroom.

She glanced around her dark room. The moonlight streaming through her open curtains being the only source of light within the darkness. Her eyes landed on Gojo.

He was laying down on her bed, shirtless, lollipop in his mouth. Bright blue eyes already on hers.

A light smile graced his features as he pulled out the empty lollipop stick from his mouth and tossed it somewhere on the floor. He sat up, his cool eyes looking her up and down before patting the space on the bed in front of him.

She hesitated before walking stiffly towards him. Her resolve slowly slipping away with each step. Every signal in her body told her to walk the opposite direction.

When she was two steps away from the spot of the bed he’d gestured towards, he reached out to her. His hands slipped around her waist—pulling her in between his legs on the edge of the bed.

“Are you trying to tease me by walking slow?” he nearly whined.

He ran his hands along her sides before tugging his sweater off of her. His eyes never left hers as he tugged off her shirt next. She did her best to refrain from trembling.

His eyes widened in appreciation at her lacey white padded bra.

He bit his lower lip before bending over to pull down her pants. She jolted when his hands went to the back of her knees and calves, maneuvering her legs to step out of her pants.

He leaned back then, his eyes looking up and down her body before letting out a low groan. His hands on her hips squeezing needily.

“Fuck, so pretty.”

His index fingers hooked into her panties on either side of her hips—bunching up her panties before tugging upwards. She gasped, nearly falling forward as her panties rubbed against her clit.

Her hands went to his thighs to keep from falling and he smirked.

“These are mine.” he murmured into her ear before bending over to pull her panties down. She shivered when she felt his temple graze her hip as he maneuvered her legs again to get her to step out of her panties. He lightly bit her hip before sitting up straight.

He slipped her panties into his sweatpant pockets, a shameless grin on his face. She flushed.

His hands slipped around her ass, drawing her closer between his legs until she felt the tip of his cock against her navel through his sweats. She gasped when his large hands squeezed her ass cheeks while nipping at her neck.

His lips and teeth were insistent along her neck and shoulder—she knew there would be marks. The hickeys from their first time still hadn’t completely healed.

Suddenly his hands were at her tits, squeezing heartily while he marked the skin between her collarbones. She winced.

He withdrew slightly, squeezing her tits once more, “Fuck, baby, this bra is so cute. Makes you look so pretty. Gonna buy you one in every color.”

He squeezed her tits hard and she trembled slightly.

“G-Satoru-please.” she whispered.

“Please what, kitten.” he murmured before reaching around her to easily unclip her bra.

“Y-you hold me so tight.”

She felt his cock twitch against her belly. He cupped her bare tits, his thumbs running over her areolas before squeezing her tits in the entirety of his palms.

He groaned, “Cause these tits are mine, baby.”

Suddenly his arm slipped around her ass and she was flipped onto the bed, her back to the sheets. He lay atop her, his mouth on her tits.

His tongue lapped up her areola, the tip of his tongue flicking at its center to make her nipples harden. Once her nipple hardened against his tongue, she felt his hard cock twitch against her lower belly. His hips bucking into her as he fondled her unattended tit in his palm.

He sucked her nipples, hard—repeatedly swirling his tongue around it at first before sucking her tits like he could actually get some breast milk. He pulled away slightly, staring at her perky, puffy nipples with a satisfied gleam in his eyes before lowering his head to leave a dark hickeys on the side of her breasts. His clothed cock grinding against her spread legs all the while.

She whimpered as he began to give the same attention to her other tit--now palming the one that was covered in love bites.

His tongue flicked her nipple in his mouth before groaning. He withdrew slightly to look up at her and mutter-a string of saliva attached to his lip, “Could suck these tits forever.”

She couldn’t deny the feeling him playing with her tits elicited. It made something in her grow hot-hot enough to make her squirm. But due to being completely surrounded by Gojo’s huge body she couldn’t move as much as she would’ve liked.

She grit her teeth, unable to hold back a low moan as he moved the flat of his tongue over her hard nipple-flicking at it with the tip of his tongue. Her back arched, putting more of her tit in his mouth before she slipped her fingers through his white hair and pulled him back. She couldn’t take it.

His blue eyes were immediately on her, searching her face closely. She trembled slightly before deciding to distract him by pulling his face up to kiss her. He eagerly complied.

His lips crashed into hers, tongue viciously sweeping her mouth. He was hungry.

The pace of his grinding picked up a thousandfold, almost as if he were trying to fuck her through his sweats. His cock was so stiff, she couldn’t help but whimper in his mouth as he kissed her.

He drew his head back slightly to bite at her bottom lip. She felt his large hand slide down her shoulder, past her collarbones, over her tits, her stomach before coming to a stop at her entrance. His fingertips touched her pussy lips.

He broke the kiss to watch her expression as he slipped his fingers into her—only to end up groaning himself.

His head dropped as he began to pump his middle and ring finger in and out of her slowly, “So fuckin’ wet.”

She whimpered as his fingers continued to pump into her—the feeling making her twist underneath him.

As she began to writhe, his face somehow came before hers, “Does it feel good, baby.”

Her eyes widened, her face immediately heating up. She would die before admitting anything he did felt good—even if it unfortunately did. It felt so much better to be touched by someone else than herself.

Why’d it have to be him making me feel like this?

Suddenly the pace of his fingers picked up drastically and she cried out. Her insides instinctively tightening around his fingers.

"S-satoru! Unghh-ah!-oh my-nnnghh!" she mewled.

“There you go,” he muttered as she began to moan and whine at each rough fingerfuck. He dipped his fingers knuckle deep within her, his pace insistent.

He perused her writhing figure beneath him, his firm form keeping her in place. Her tits swung upwards with each forceful shove of his fingers. He flushed, his cerulean blue eyes locked in on her face as a subtle smirk bloomed along his lips.

“I wish you could see yourself right now.” his voice husky, “You look so fuckin’ good.”

Her walls clamped around his fingers and his smirk widened. He dropped a light kiss on her lips, “Want you to cum, kitten.”

His fingers managed to move faster within her. She yelped, her back arching as she pushed at his shoulders. He didn’t budge.

“Please-no-nnghh–ah!-uh-”

“Wanna see the pretty face you make when you cum all over my fingers.” he spoke into her temple.

“N-no!” she gasped out when she felt it—horror consuming her when her body seemed to respond to his words, his pace. Her insides grew hot, hot in that way that felt torturously good.

His hand clamped her over lips when she screamed in betrayal. Her body writhed uncontrollably as waves after waves of pleasure rolled over her, making her shake around his ruthless fingers.

“Fuck, so hot.” he gritted out-his eyes never leaving her face. He kept up his pace until her shakiness subsided.

“Such a good girl.. gave me what I want so fast,” His smirk reappeared, “You like my fingers that much?”

She frowned-her voice hoarse as she responded instinctively, “N-no.”

Suddenly his thumb pressed against her puffy clit, making her jump. He began to rub her clit at a perfect pressure.

“Ah!-Goj-nnghh-no! Fuck-” she moaned, unable to stop herself.

“Liar.” he grinned.

She grit her teeth, hating the control he had on her body with every part of her being. She attempted to squeeze her thighs together-to end his ministrations but it was useless. His firm waist planted between her legs left her with no control. She couldn’t ignore his hard length poking at her inner thigh, it was as if it were demanding her attention.

Suddenly he leaned back-lifting his fingers to his lips to taste her juices. The sight was filthy and intoxicating.

“Mm-Fuck, taste so good, kitten.” he muttered, before lowering himself. He wrapped his hands around her thighs and immediately placed his mouth over her clit.

She jerked forward, gasping-but his hold on her thighs kept her legs wide open.

“Gojo!” she cried out through gritted teeth. He sucked along her clit and entrance with such diligence—as if he were starving.

“Nngh—P-please-haah-” she wanted to beg him to stop but it seemed to have the opposite effect. His hands tightened around her thighs as he dug his face deeper between her legs.

The feeling was so unexpected she couldn’t help but whine in desperation. Moans slipped out of her as his tongue expertly licked her cunt. It was overwhelming.

He lapped up her clit, making her jolt. The flat of his tongue rubbed against her tense nub-making her all too sensitive. She couldn’t take it.

“S-Satoru, stop! St-unghhh-ah-nngh! Please-please.”

He sucked her clit deliriously-as if he couldn’t get enough. His tongue powering past her rowdy hips and her futile attempts to shove his head away. His arms around her thighs forced her hips down and apart. His tongue swirled endlessly around her puffy clit-the tip of his tongue pressing and sucking right where she needed it most.

Her mewls went silent as she spasmed, cumming harder than ever. She felt like she was floating. Her body bucked as she bit her lower lip-hard-to hide the obnoxious moans on the cusp of her lips. Her body felt like it had been caught on fire-in the best way possible.

When he removed his lips from her cunt, she stared up at the ceiling-refusing to let herself wallow in the self-hatred threatening to consume her. Why am I enjoying this?

She winced when she felt his fingers slip into her cunt again. She was so wet and gummy inside that the action made a subtle lewd sound. He groaned, pumping his fingers into her lazily, “Fuck-so wet-so ready for me.”

He slipped his fingers out before climbing atop her to press a passionate kiss to her lips. He kissed her so hard she was pressed deeper into the bed. His tongue tangling with hers, kissing her roughly as if trying to consume her.

He broke the kiss, “You taste yourself, hm? Did you taste how sweet your pretty cunt is?”

He spread her legs apart, “Gonna use this sweet lil cunt as many times I want.”

She shivered as she watched him look her up and down with such obvious hunger. Her legs instinctively drew closer but he shoved them apart.

Her eyes widened in horror to see that he was already naked. Condom already on his cock.

Before she could even react, his hand slid around her neck. His grip tight around her throat as he thrust his full length into her.

She couldn't even scream, her back naturally arching as her cunt was forced to adjust to him. It didn't matter how wet she was, his cock always pried her apart. Her breath was stuck in her throat as she squeezed her eyes shut, teeth grit together in pain. The action had been so rough, she couldn’t handle it.

Suddenly his hand on her throat slid to her jaw, forcing her to face him above her.

“Look at me, kitten. Look at what I do to you.”

She wanted to sob-a weak sound leaving her lips as his hand around her jaw tightened.

“Ara..” he murmured into her temple so breathlessly-so needily-as if she were his most desired prayer. As if he'd die without her.

She whimpered, her cunt inadvertently squeezing around him. His breath caught and she knew she was doomed.

His fingers clasped around her throat while his other hand gripped the softest part of her hip, before fucking her like a ragdoll.

She didn’t know how the bed didn’t fall apart, she felt like her insides were. She was so loud-her throat was sore from how loud she was. His hand over her mouth was the only thing saving her dignity.

She felt like she could feel every veiny ridge of his cock, burning into her insides with each rough fuck. He made sure her cunt took all of him in-no matter how tight the fit was. It felt impossible to get used to.

“Ara.. oh, Ara..” he breathed huskily into her neck, “F-fuck,” his hand tightened over her mouth as he continued to fuck the daylight out of her.

The sounds of their lewd sex filled the air. She couldn’t breathe. Tears slipped down the sides of her face. Her throat scratchy.

“Feel so good, baby, fuck,” he babbled, “You get me so hard-haah-Wanna hear all those cute lil sounds you’re makin’—fuck-so perfect, perfect fuckin’ pussy.”

His cock pistoned into her relentlessly. She wasn’t sure she had a single coherent thought left in her brain.

And suddenly, his breath hitched and she swore his cock grew stiffer. His hips stuttered before slamming into her completely, forcing her hips to rise as he buried his cock deep.

Panic swarmed into her at the thought of him having no condom but she remembered, she’d seen it on his cock before he entered her. She shivered when she felt something warmer than her insides pour into her, though it felt much more subdued compared to when he’d dumped loads of his cum in her before.

She shivered when his cock continued to twitch. His hands gripped her hips tight as he continued to push her body up to lodge his cock deeper, as if wanting her to feel every single part of him.

She let out a low, staggered cry at the sensation of feeling so full. Her back arched, her tits pressing into his chest as his cock rocked into her.

He groaned desperately, his face pressing into the side of hers. She was sure his grip on her hips was bound to leave marks.

Finally, his cock stopped twitching and she heard him sigh.

He cupped one of her tits, caressing her, “You make me feel so good, kitten.”

She shivered when she felt him lightly kiss her jaw, then nip at her throat. She knew there were bound to be marks left later.

She shifted slightly underneath him, he was still inside of her. He was still hard.

Her voice came out quiet and scratchy-almost fearful, “I-I’m tired, Satoru.”

His lips over her collarbone paused their ministrations. She felt her pulse skyrocket at his silence.

Suddenly his face appeared before hers, the tips of his platinum hair touching her forehead as his blue eyes scanned her face.

“Don’t be selfish now, Ara,” his voice was gravelly yet soft as he lowered himself to kiss her. The kiss was gentle, probing-she felt his cock twitch.

“We’re just getting started.”

previous chapter | next chapter

[thecynthh]

smart ass - M.S pt 5

synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to help him

notes - NOT PROOF READ, lowercase intention smut near the end, aftercare cus thats what matt specializes in, cuddles

a/n - uhm idk if yalls could tell, or if u knew but i’m a virgin and have never kissed anyone so 🫣

leave some suggestions for chris or matt fics for me to write pls as well :3

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present day a few days after their second study session

y/n pov

matt s 🐼

hey message me when ur leaving ur house. 8:46

btw we r ordering food to the house cus i dont wanna get gas. 8:47

text me what u want from CFA. 8:47

you

what in the flying fuck is CFA? 8:49

matt s 🐼

uhm hello? kid, how do u not know what CFA is???? 8:49

you

abbreviations like this is what's wrong with our generation… 8:50

matt s 🐼

kay ur so weird omfg. 5:50

CFA clearly means chick-fil-a smartass 🙄. 8:51

you

oh well then 😋. nuggets and waffle fries please 🛐🛐. 8:52

and sunjoy btww. 8:52

matt s 🐼

ew u like sunjoy? 8:53

you

u like rootbear don’t talk to me ✋. 8:52

and let me in pls im already outside :). 8:52

read at 8:52

i sling my bag over my shoulder and leave my car, waiting outside the large house with thrilling anticipation as i wait for matt to open the door. I see the fluff of his brown locks and a sweater similar to the one i’ve seen him wear before at school. i dont know why i get giddy when i see him, i dont know how we went to only speaking when madi was around too greeting each other whenever we see each other in the halls or cafe or even in our shared classes.

matt and his brothers were some of my closest friends now, after madi introduced me to them at a party, both of us got insanely drunk and made me call off crazy drinking ever since. all i remember from that night was the way matt took care of me while i was in a very vulnerable state and didn’t take advantage of me. i haven’t told anyone but madi about what happened to me when i was younger, and i’m glad she’s still taken her promise to heart, the only thing that telling her about my past shit did was make her and i closer.

i see matt in full view after he opens the door, “hey!” i say with a cheery expression despite how late it was for me.

“heyyy, thanks for coming by the way, even though you had a shift earlier.” he says sheepishly, before i left for work he messaged me begging to have another study session because he had more questions about the essay part of the exam. “oh hey lemme put your stuff in my room, just chill on the couch before the food gets here.” i pass him my backpack and laptop as he begins to walk down a hallway to make it to his room.

i move through the small entryway and become more apparent in his brothers view, “heyy y/n” nick says moving up to me for a hug, i take in his embrace.

“hi nick!!” i say excitedly. other than matt, ive hung out with nick a lot too, madi always has him over at her apartment, and even the three of us have made it a plan to meet up at our favourite bakery and talk for however long we want too a couple times a week. out of the little over a month i’ve know the triplets, nick has made a huge impact on me, and i felt safe around him, as well as chris and matt.

he lets go of me while i walk over to a slumped over chris on the couch, when he realised i was here he sits up on the edge of the couch. “sup chris,” i dap him up doing a little bro half hug with him.

“always nice to see you y/n,” he says as our arms unfold from the middle of us. i take a seat next to him with a comfortable amount of distance between us. matt returns not too long after i greet everyone. He sits down between chris and i and nick returns from the kitchen with a pepsi, root beer, bottled water and a lemonade, passing out everyone's drink knowing what each of us would ask for. matt and i give nick a thank you as he nods his head after.

nick stationed himself on the elongated part of the couch settling in with his fluffy blanket, he puts on a stranger thing episode and we all sit watching the tv. it only takes another five minutes of the episode for the doorbell to ring through the house. nick gets up immediately scurrying to the door with his fluffy blanket wrapped around him as he talks to the delivery man, thanking him and making small steps to see the rest of us. he comes back with two large bags of food planting them on the coffee table in front of all of us, before grabbing a tray of drinks after going back to the entrance.

“thank you for paying matty,” chris says, rubbing up again his brother with his lips pursed and now shoulder to shoulder with his older brother. i giggle at the sight, copying chris.

“mmmmh thanks mattyyyy” i say resting my head on the peak of his shoulder, pursing my lips as well and copying chris’ weird voice.

“you’re a fucking weirdo chris,” matt says in a disgusted voice flicking the other head that was very close to his face. “and you're welcome y/n.”

i laugh at chris’ overly dramatic reaction to what matt did to him. still giggling a bit at the sight of matt completely ignoring his brothers reaction, I say “just tell me how much i own you.”

“eh, don’t worry about it, it’s on me, plus save up for that new laptop you were talking about. i know how much you want it,” i blush slightly.

“aww thank you then,” i wrap my arms around him and squeeze him, he hands me the food that i asked for and retract back onto the couch.

“by the way, what time are we planning to stay up till? i told madi that i’ll tell her when i was heading home.” i saw looking at matt.

“well its kinda late so if you wanna stay in the guest room, im fine with that.” matt says, moving his head towards me, then breaking eye contact with the tv screen.

“im ay okay with that if you wanna stay over! plus you know your way around the house,” nick says giving his approval to matts idea of staying over.

“mhm im chill with it,” chris simply says.

“uhh yeah then, i'm down, thanks!”

we eat then say goodnight to nick and chris before we go to matt's room for some studying.

i lay down onto his bed as he walks over to his bathroom to change into some comfier clothes. while hes in there i start to think about our first study session when i found out matt had a crush on me. i thought it was very cute, but it made matt awkward on our last study night. i’m glad that he's eased up now, i just acted like i didn’t know anything and didn’t want to push on how he was feeling because I knew it would make his anxiety worse.

i come back to my senses seeing matt reappear from the bathroom door. we stayed on track for studying for an hour and a half before we eventually put on brooklyn 99 on in the background and talked.

“so, the retake is in a couple days, you think you’re ready?” i was hopeful he would be good by then because tonight felt very productive. I quizzed him on a couple of important ideas while he was playing with a baseball, throwing it up and down in the air. i learnt that he understands stuff better when he is doing something with his hands, it keeps him focused.

“hm, i’m not too sure, maybe another study sesh the day after tomorrow so by friday i’ll have all the stuff we went over fresh in my mind.” the baseball still gets thrown up and falls down in front of his face, with his hand waiting to catch it before it smacks him right on his nose. “thanks again for this,” i hear him catch it one more time before he moves his hand away from his face and looks at me just to the right of him. i'm hovering over him slightly, his eyes glow the brightest in the slight illumination from the lamp we always use when we study.

“yeah of course matt, you're my friend anyways.” our faces mirror each other, his eyes roam my faces while his hand holds the side of my face.

i toss my hair to the side of my head to lean down to kiss matt, he immediately returns the kiss enveloping my bottom lip with his. i moan into his mouth feeling him push me down and dominate me. one of his hands rests on my hip keeping me down as i pull him down with my legs letting him top me. most of his body is pressed down to mine, i lift my hips to give myself some kind of sensation i desperately crave for.

“fuck, i’m sorry are you okay with this?” matt says when he disconnects us.

i cup his chin bringing him a little closer, “i really fucking like you matt, please don’t stop.”

a smirk grows onto his face, “i really fucking like you too, you’re lucky i do.” he becomes more unserious pecking little kisses amoungst my face making a very loud “mwah” sound with each of he presses into my skin.

“matttt” i say through my sour looking face while he shows his affection.

“okay, okay, i’m done. but uh, how about we kiss again, didn’t get a good feel of it the first time.” he says with a knowing smirk on his face. i use my hand to weave through his brunette hair pulling him towards me again, we share a more passionate kiss, with knowing and love rather than lust.

it doesn’t take us long till things got more serious, his lips attach to my neck instantly sucking multiple hickeys into visible spots on my neck, moving down to my collar bone and eventually to the full and plump part of my boob. this is where my dream stopped last week, ive been trying to ignore it for the longest time but being in the moment now after thinking about it in my head makes it feel even more surreal.

his hand sneaks to the bottom of my fresh love shirt that i took from matt’s drawers when i found out i was sleeping here his fingers feel the hem of it. “is it alright if i take your shirt off?” he says with a quiet voice, almost afraid of what i’ll say.

i quickly nod in reply but that doesn’t seem good enough for him.

“words smart ass, i need words.” he says with a little bit of a condescending tone to his love tainted words.

“yes matt, you can take my shirt off too.” i say with a small giggle following after it.

he lifts the fabric to uncover the same white lace bra i was wearing while i slept over at his house by accident. “mh, i’ve been dreaming about this for a while ever since i saw you in it that morning,” he kisses the lace that travels to the small connecting piece of fabric between the two cups of my bra.

“and i know you heard what chris said to me that morning, yet you still acted like nothing was wrong.” he moves his hand to my upper back placing his hand onto my bra strap, “hey, can i take this off?”

“mhm,” my lips sealed trying to conceal my response to the amazing feeling of his hands on my body, he undoes the clip on my back with skill and purpose. the touch of his fingertips grant goosebumps to my skin in a very arousing manner.

he pulls the dainty clothing article off my arms and throws it to the floor benign absolutely amazed by my tits, they weren’t much but it seemed like matt was under a spell, he latched his lips just above my nipple to give me more hickeys, he sucks and soothes repeating this multiple times before he eventually dips down to my nipple, i feel the rush of arousal arching slightly off the bed.

i moan in response to the new sensation, i’m not exactly a virgin, but i haven’t done anything like this in a while, let alone at all for god sake. he massages the other boob, playing with the nipple with his hand the opposite of the one his mouth is very focused on.

he finally comes up for air after a little bit teasing, my thighs rub together and sits up to rip his shirt off to match my level of revealing skin, off goes his sweats as well leaving him in just his boxers, “matt, oh my god” i'm out of breath and very needy.

he continues a trail of kisses down to my clothes pussy, he looks up at me while holding the stretchy waistband of my pants, i give him a vigorous nod knowing what he was asking for.

he slides them completely off leaving me in just my underwear. he plants another sweet kids over my clothed heat which milks another desperate moan from me. “matt wait-“ he immediately comes up from my bottom half and lays beside me listening to me.

“hey we don’t have too if you don’t want too, i’m down if you just wanna go to bed in the other room, or even if you just wanna stay here and cuddle for the rest of the night.” he says before i can go ahead with what i was thinking.

“no, no i really want too it’s just, i haven’t really… done this before.” i tell him, he seems almost fully unaffected by my words.

“that’s fine, i’m here to make you feel good,” he places his hand nearing my core again, he rubs my panties over my clit moving down to feel the very apparent wet spot. “wow i’ve barely touched you and your so worked up,” his voice was sultry with a hint of a condescending tone.

“m-matt please” i struggle to say feeling the pressure he's putting down onto my throbbing clit.

“i’m gonna take these off now, okay?” he says with his fingers wrapped around the thin string of my thong that’s barely covers anything.

he slips them off admiring the sight in front of him, i almost get self conscious wanting to cover myself up with his blankets. his head dips and his hands pant onto my hips and one on my inner thigh. his tongue makes very sudden contact with my clit, he sucks and swirls his tongue around it, feeling the very heavy pressure i arch my back slighting leaning forward into his face.

his finger creeps and teases my hole before he fully plunged it into me. i heavy moan escapes my lips, “quiet now princess, can’t let nick or chris hear you.”

he continues his movements stimulating both my clit and hole at the same time, “more, please” i say with a pleading tone. he removes his finger from inside of me and replaces it with his tongue and mouth. he absolutely devoured my pussy giving me as much pleasure as he could, his mouth moving back to my clip and he slid his finger back into me moving it at a moderate pace.

i don’t try very hard to conceal my very loud moans, as soon as matt enters a second finger into my dripping cunt, i release with a pornographic moan, squeezing his head between my legs. “holy shit matt,” he licks up all of my hot cum and comes back up to kiss me.

“mmh you did so well for me, you ready for me now?” i say a needy yes while he goes back to sit back on the his headboard. he removes his boxers with such haste letting his cock spring out with a bead of pre-cum leaking out. “i wanna watch you ride me, you control the pace and how deep you wanna go.” he whispers into my ear.

he lifts me on top of him, kissing him passionately while i grind down onto his twitching cock. he lets out a guttered groan “okay, let’s do this cause i could bust just from looking at you.”

he lines himself up and holds my hips while i sink down onto him. his so thick and long, i feel him in ever existing crevasse in my cunt. “fuck yes” i say letting out a heavy breath.

“holy shit you’re so tight-“ he says between his monas and hard breathes. i begin to move myself up and down slowly, whatever pain that came at first quickly moved to pleasure as i speed up my movements.

my tits bounce every time i move up or down, my movements are set at a constant pace, “matt, i think- i think i’m gonna cum.” i say, feeling his dick twitch in my pussy again.

“come for me baby, give it to me,” he says, taking me by my love handles and moving me up and down a little faster. i came hearing his words letting out a couple of breathy moans, he follows soon after me. i feel his thick long ropes of cum fill me up and come back down dripping onto his cock.

matt does a couple of slower pumps in and out of me to ride both of us through our highs. he picks me up as if i weigh nothing and puts me down beside him laying down onto the bed.

he goes into the bathroom to retrieve a small cloth and comes back to wipe me down. he does a couple of strips to pick up as much extra cum he could. i feel him hit my clit and i whimper loudly, “oh god, i’m sorry, i know your still sensitive.” once he’s finished he goes into the bathroom and cleans himself up.

fishing his boxers from the ground he slides them on and grabs my underwear and a large t-shirt from his closet. he hops onto the bed putting on my underwear and pulling me up to put on the shirt.

“mh thank you,” i say tired and groggy.

he plants a kiss onto my forehead “anything for you smart ass.”

he comes under the covers and wraps his arms around me, intertwining our legs. we sleep peacefully until the morning

taglist - @westwiing @comet235

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Title: "He is Me, and So Are We."

Part 7 of my “Cray-Cray for Cater” series! Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6 can be found here!

Parings: Cater Diamond x Twisted Wonderland Male OC (Mirai Yuhara)

Summary:

When Cater begins to distance himself, Mirai can't help but feel he is to blame. Instead of facing his problems head on, Mirai cowers from his self-inflicted fear of rejection, and now it's too late.

cw: Angst, Hurt/comfort, arguing, use of Cater's signature spell, self-worth issues, self-esteem issues, Cater has trouble seeing his own worth, making up

a/n: It's been a while, but Ima make up for it! Promise! I can't believe this series has 7 parts already! Part 8 will be a long one!

a/n: I missed my own anniversary. IMA RIOT!!! Late anniversary post soon.

Reblogs are appreciated, just use my custom tag, #TheMaladaptiveWriter12, if you do!  (─‿‿─)♡

Cross posted from my Ao3: TheMaladaptiveWriter12

“Chamomile, Jellyfish Stingers, Scales of a Coral Snake, Mandrake Root,” Mirai listed, writing down the inventory for Professor Crewel once more. He always got sad when he saw the mandrake root. 

Per usual, Mirai was helping out Professor Crewel with sorting and organizing his supply closet. Mirai liked helping out when and where he could, but also, he liked Professor Crewel, he could trust him. But unfortunately, much to Professor Crewel's chagrin, he couldn’t make Mirai a personal lab assistant. 

“It’s unethical, it shows favoritism,” Professor Crewel said in a mocking tone, face twisted.

Mirai tried to hold in his laughter.

“Yeah, you wanna know what’s unethical? How uptight that old geezer is! I swear he hasn’t changed at all since my school days,” Professor Crewel scoffed, with a sneer.

Mirai giggles as the memory, as he continues his recording. The school, namely Trein, wouldn't allow Crewel employ Mirai, much less pay him, so instead, Crewel overlooks his mistakes in class, well, not all of them, adds an extra point to his grades where he could, gives him access to pretty much anything in the lab, and gives Mirai the harmless little leftover gems and potions from his classes.

“What’s so funny, Little Papillon?” Professor Crewel asks from where he was leaning against the doorframe. A hand on his hip, the other was holding his pipe, its contents unknown.

“N-Nothing,” Mirai stammered.

Crewel smirks, leaning his head against the wooden frame, his gaudy fur coat sliding down his shoulder even more than it already was, “You thinking of that orange haired pup?”

“Orange haired…?” Mirai thought before it dawned on him, face flushing red, “N-No!”

Professor Crewel laughed, “I jest, I jest. But on that topic, how is it going, your relationship, that is?”

Mirai flushed, mumbling, “Isn’t that a little too personal for you to ask, being my professor and all?”

“Oh? And here I thought we were quite close.” Professor Crewel teased.

“You’re almost old enough to be my father,” Mirai deadpanned.

“I’d have to be sixteen to be your father,” Professor Crewel said with a disgusted face.

“You’re four years shy.”

“Your father had you at twenty?”

“Nah, he was your age actually.”

“Huh.”

“You could be my older brother?” Mirai jokes.

That made Crewel burst into a fit of laughter. Mirai snickered.

“Okay, I can be your adopted older brother, and I wanna give you relationship advice,” Professor Crewel said with a smirk.

“Alright, no. Adopted father sounds better.” Mirai laughed.

“But I thought you didn’t like that. Now tell big brother about your boy,” Professor Crewel laughed.

Mirai broke out in a fit of laughter, “Pl-Please don’t say that ever again!”

“Father it is.”

“Ugh, that still sounds horrible.”

“Ima say it every time you act up in my class.”

“No! Please don’t!”

“Watch me.”

“But honestly,” Mirai said after his laughter died down, “I’d say we're fine. Being with Cater is new, it’s fun, and I couldn’t ask for anymore.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. He walks me home, and to class when he can. He’s always so caring and nice,” Mirai said with a happily little dreamy smile on his face.

“Well aren’t you a little lovesick pup?”

“N-No,” Mirai pouted.

Professor Crewel chuckled.

“You sound like Sam. He always calls us lovesick Imp, and every time I come in for work, he always tries to read my fortune, but I won’t let him,” Mirai chuckled. 

“Wait,” Crewel said, “You work for Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“And he pays you?”

“Yeah?”

“Why isn't it unethical for him?!” Crewel shouted, throwing his hands up.

Mirai laughed at Crewel.

“You laughing at me, Little Papillon?” Professor Crewel asked, whipping his head around to his student.

“N-No,” Mirai chuckled. 

Crewel smiled. “I guess you don’t need my help after all,” Professor Crewel laughed.

“I mean, I guess there is something that has been bothering me,” Mirai said, mood dropping a bit.

“Oh? Do tell.”

“He’s been distant lately,” Mirai started, eyes downcast. “I can tell he’s forcing himself, I mean, like, I don’t know, I can’t describe it, but he just feels…off.”

Crewel looked surprised at his student’s confession, “Have you spoken to him about it?”

Mirai shook his head, “I don’t wanna, I don't know, spook him? Scare him into hiding even more? I just can’t figure out what would cause him to act this way. He was fine a while ago, but now, I don’t know, he just seems distant. I want to give him the space to work it out, but I don’t want him to ya’know, shoulder it all.”

Crewel genuinely looked stumped. He thought for a moment before speaking again, “The safest route to go about this is communication. Talk about it, tell him how you feel.”

“I don’t wanna seem pushy or nosy,” Mirai confessed quietly, “I don’t want him to get mad at me.”

“Has he ever gotten mad at you for caring?”

“No.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Professor Crewel scoffed, “and if he has, tell me, I’ll handle it.”

Ignoring the threat, Mirai sighed, “I know that there’s no reason for me to be so edgy, but I just can’t help doubting myself. Like what if he doesn’t like me anymore.” 

What if our “I love yous” were fake? Mirai thought.

Professor Crewel got into Mirai space to look him in the eye, “If that boy likes you, then he will stay. If he doesn’t and breaks your heart, I’ll fail him.”

“Professor, you can’t do that!”

“Maybe I can, maybe I can’t, but he does have a few missing assignments,” Professor Crewel smirked.

“I really need to get him on top of those,” Mirai sighed.

“So, will you talk to him, Little Papillon?”

Mirai nodded meekly.

“Speak,” Professor Crewel commanded.

“Y-Yes, Professor Crewel.”

“Good boy!”

Mirai flushed as the praise.

“Whacha talking about?”

Mirai looked behind his Professor and saw Cater leaned up against the doorframe of the closet, a sly smile on his face.

“Cater?” Mirai called, confused, “Is it that late already?”

“Hm,” Cater nodded, “I called and you didn’t answer, so I went looking for you after you didn’t show.”

“You called?!” Mirai gasped. Mirai dug into his pocket and found that there indeed was a missed call from Cater.

“I’m sorry, it was on silent,” Mirai apologized, “I got caught up sorting this out.”

“Go ahead, Little Papillon, I can finish up myself,” Professor Crewel said, waving his student off.

“Are you sure? I didn’t-”

“Are you disobeying me?”

“N-No?” Mirai stuttered.

“Good boy,” Professor Crewel praised, petting Mirai on the head, “Now shoo, out. Remember your homework and to study for your quiz”

“I will! See you tomorrow, Crewel,” Mirai said, waving.

Mirai hurriedly shucked off the spare labware he had on, handing them to Crewel, and made his way to Cater.

“Let’s go,” Cater said, taking Mirai's hand.

Mirai happily took Cater’s larger one, swinging it as they walked. 

“Oh and little pup,” Professor Crewel said with a smirk, “I wouldn’t want to forget those overdue assignments. I’d be a pity for you to suddenly fail my class.”

Cater glared hard at Professor Crewel, grating his teeth, as he shut the lab door behind them. Crewel laughed as they left, shaking his head and went to finish organizing his storage closet.

The next day, Mirai had his shift at Sam’s, and of course he slept in. Mirai rushed around his room, throwing on his designated work outfit, which consisted of a black button down shirt, black jeans and black boots. He grabbed his shoulder bag, throwing in his phone, wallet, and other things he might need and rushed downstairs. In the lounge grim was sitting on the floor eating a tuna bagel, which Mirai gagged at.

“Why didn’t you wake me?!” Mirai cried trying to find his key.

“I did, and you went back to sleep,” Grim deadpanned.

“I’m late!” 

Finding his key on the mantel, where it wasn’t before, the ghosts no doubt, Mirai ran to the foyer, then suddenly there was a feral screeching sound. Mirai gasped in fear, jumping back a good couple of feet, and looked down at the floor. Grim was glaring at the Prefect, the direbeast holding his tail, bagel forgotten on the floor.

“I’m so sorry,” Mirai cried, feeling horrible.

Grin didn’t say anything, but he continued to glare holding his abused tail, ears flaming a bit higher. Mirai felt bad, really, but he didn’t have time to try and coax the cat from his angered state.

“I’ll make it up to you, promise!” Mirai called, rushing out the door, locking it behind him, and started his way to Mr. S's Mystery Shop.

Mirai shoved the door open, an apology already on his lips. “I’m so sorry,” Mirai cried, “I overslept, Grim didn’t wake me, the Ghosts hid my key, I stepped on Grim’s tail, I-I-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam said surprised, “calm down, Little Imp.”

“But I, but I’m-”

“Yes, you’re thirty minutes late, and it’s fine.”

“But-”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Sam tutted, “It’s just the opening shift. No has even come in yet. Put on your apron, grab a snack, and go calm down.”

“Thank you, Sam! Sorry again,” Mirai rushed out, heading to the back.

Mirai put on his apron and grabbed a blueberry muffin and a bottle of water. As he ate, he watched Sam write the day's sales on a collapsing blackboard in colored chalk, and once he finished, Sam went outside to set it up. Mirai finished his muffin, brushing the crumbs off his clothes, and checked his appearance in the small hand mirror Sam kept under the counter, making sure he was presentable as he waited for their first customer.

It was a slow morning. A few students came in looking for a snack or two. Jack and Ruggie came in some time after, buying ingredients to make some steak.

“Leona’s in a meat mood again?” Mirai asked, laughing at the absurd amount of meat in Ruggie’s hand basket. 

“Ugh,” Ruggie groaned, “well, at least it’s not my money I'm wasting.”

“That will be three hundred and fifty marks.”

Jack looked flabbergasted. Ruggie dug through the battered brown leather wallet and gave the exact amount.

“Thank you,” Mirai chirped, putting the marks in the register.

Jack stepped up next, putting some protein shakes on the counter and the exact amount needed.

“Thank you,” Mirai said, taking the marks.

“You must buy those a lot to know the price,” Ruggie commented.

“Don’t you?” Jack asked, “Surely you must have all his favorites memorized with how many times you come here for Housewarden Leona?”

“Of course. That way, I know how many Marks I will get to pocket in the end.”

Jack sighed, but he knew not to try and lecture the Hyena, this was Ruggie we were talking about.

“Thanks guys, come again,” Mirai called as the two walked out. The two gave their own waves in return. 

A little while later, Deuce and Ace came in asking for an absurd amount of flour, eggs and milk. Sam handled that one, “poofing” everything on their list onto the counter. 

“Unbirthday party?” Mirai asked. 

“Yep, and Trey forgot to go shopping yesterday,” Ace answered.

“Trey did?” Mirai asked.

“Well it was more like he got caught up with his Vice duties that it slipped his mind.”

“Oh,” Mirai nodded thoughtfully.

“It’s gonna be a pain carrying all of this back,” Deuce sighed. 

“I’d help, but I’m currently on the clock,” Mirai said sadly.

“Why do you work anyways?” Ace asked, looking around for Sam before saying, “Sam is very picky with his workers.”

“I didn’t have a Mark to my name, and I needed extra food funds, supplies funds, and clothing funds,” Mirai sighed.

“Sucks man, I’d help if I also wasn’t getting money from my mother,” Deuce sighed.

“I wouldn’t have asked y’all to help in the first place.”

Deuce and Ace looked taken aback.

“I don’t like taking money from others without working for it,” Mirai supplied.

“Oh,” Ace said.

“Guys, enough chit chat, you have an unbirthday party to attend!”

“Oh yeah,” Ace and Deuce shouted in unison, “Bye Mirai!”

The two rushed through the shop and out the door. Mirai shook his head fondly.

“So, Little Imp,” Sam pried, sitting on the edge of the counter, “How’s it going with that boy?”

“Not you too,” Mirai whined, getting a sense of Deja vu.

“Oh? Who was the first?”

“Professor Crewel.”

“You two close?”

“I help him organize his potions closet on Friday’s.” Mirai explained.

“Huh. Anyways, how’s it going?” Sam asked.

“It’s fine, great even, but I feel like he’s distanced himself,” Mirai huffed.

“Distanced?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how to explain it, he still walks me to class, he still walks me home, he still holds my hand, but somehow he feels off.”

“Sometimes in a relationship, you feel like giving each other space, to keep from going too fast,” Sam explained, “Maybe he feels like he’s rushing things?”

“Too fast? Do you think we’re going too fast?”

“Hmm,” Sam thought, “Maybe he’s losing the feel of the honeymoon phase.”

Mirai sighed. 

“But you could always talk to him, Little imp, it doesn’t hurt to try.”

“That’s also what he said.”

“See, us wise old men know what we’re talking about,” Sam laughed.

Mirai snickered a bit, “You’re not old,”

“But you’ll never know unless you try,” Sam said softly.

Mirai nodded.

The rest of his shift was a little busier, but nothing to really work him to the bone. And when the clock struck three, his shift was over. Mirai was uniting his apron when a familiar voice rang out.

“Heyo!”

“Hey Cater,” Mirai smiled, “Just let me put my apron away, and I’ll be right there.” 

Sam was sitting on the counter again, sandwich in hand as he read the paper. “Hey, Little Imp,” Sam greeted, not taking his eyes off of what he was reading.

“Hey Sam,” Cater smiled. 

Mirai came back out, with a smile on his face, “Okay, let’s go.”

“Bye Little Imp, see you tomorrow,” Sam waved with a smile, “Remember what we talked about.”

“Bye Sam, and I will,” Mirai said with a wave.

Mirai and Cater walked in silence. Mirai looked at Cater as they walked, his face was blank, his usual smile nonexistent. 

“Cater?” Mirai called.

Cater seemed to snap out of it, face flashing from surprise to a forced smile. “Yes Hon?”

Mirai thought about what he and Professor Crewel, and Sam spoke about. “Those overdue assignments? Wanna talk about that?” Mirai asked instead. The Prefect was berating himself in his head for chickening out. He’ll wait a bit longer.

“It’s fine,” Cater said, laughing nervously. 

“Clearly not if your assignments are overdue. So Ima help you.”

“Aren’t you just so sweet,” Cater crooned.

“I mean it, Cater,” Mirai glared up at him, “You’re lucky Riddle hasn’t caught on yet.”

“Yikes,” Cater flinched at the aspect of Riddle finding out.

“So, are you busy right now?” Mirai asked.

“No,” Cater said, shaking his head.

“Good. Off to Heartslabyul we go.”

Mirai and Cater entered the mirror to the Heartslabyul dorm. Mirai thought he could never get used to the feeling of going through the mirrors. It felt pulley and pushy, and it made his stomach feel funny every time. When they entered the dorm grounds, it was quiet.

“Where is everyone?” Mirai asked curiously. 

“There was a Croquet game today,” Cater explained, “They should’ve wrapped it up by now.”

“Ah.”

Cater led Mirai inside the dorm and through the lounge and when they entered, there were a bunch of students occupying the lounge. Some were reading, other’s playing cards, one of the tables had several students doing their homework, and in the far corner, at the tea table, Ace, Deuce, Trey and Riddle were having tea and cookies. Trey perked up at the two entering the lounge.

“Hey Mirai, what brings you here?” Trey greeted the prefect.

“I’m here to help this dummy over here study,” Mirai answered, cocking his thumb at the redhead.

“Hey,” Cater gasped, but he didn’t sound offended at all.

“Where’s Grim?” Deuce asked.

“Home,” Mirai supplied, “I accidentally stepped on his tail before work this morning, so I’ve been avoiding him.”

Ace snickered.

“I seriously don’t get how you hang out with that man,” Deuce sighed.

“Me neither,” Cater huffed.

“Guys,” Mirai laughed, “He’s not that bad, nor is Professor Crewel.”

“Cater,” Riddle called, “remember to serve your guests tea, it would be very offensive not to.”

“Y-You really don’t have to,” Mirai stammered, “We’re just here to study.”

“Nonsense,” Riddle dismissed, “It would be rude not to. You’re a guest and a friend, but most importantly, it’s a rule.”

“It’s okay Riddle,” Cater chuckled, “I was getting the tea anyways. I was just gonna take him upstairs first. Black tea is fine, right? It’s only three o’clock.”

“Upstairs?” Ace asked with a smirk.

“Yeah?” Cater asked, “Why? Is there a rule against that?”

“Why upstairs?” Trey asked, a sly smile on his face.

“‘Cus I can’t play music down here,” Cater whined, “It ruins the study vibe.”

“That’s probably why you can’t concentrate, you’re too busy singing,” Mirai chided.

“Am not!”

“Fine, we can play music, but it's gonna be the instrumental version.”

“No,” Cater whined, “Guys! Mi-Mi’s being mean.”

“Suck it up you big baby,” Mirai laughed, smacking Cater on the arm.

The room erupted in snickers. Ever since Cater announced his relationship with Mirai, they became the talk of Heartslabyul. Everyone wanted the latest update on their relationship, and how they were doing. And even with Ace and Deuce’s threats to anyone who opposed, that didn’t stop the playful teasing that Mirai and Cater were subjected to. 

“So you're just studying?” Ace asked.

“Yes, studying,” Mirai gruffed, putting a hand on his hip, “something you should be doing after the state of your last pop quiz.”

A bunch of ‘oohs’ rang out in the room, and Ace had the nerve to look embarrassed.

“Hey,” Ace shouted, face red.

“What quiz?” Riddle asked Ace.

“It was a pop quiz,” Ace rushed out guiltily.

“Have fun studying,” Trey teased.

Cater and Mirai finally caught on to what they were implying, faces growing red. The room erupted in laughter. Even Riddle was chuckling.

“It’s not like that,” Cater whined, face flushed.

“Oh, yeah, like I haven’t heard that excuse before,” Ace cackled.

“Hope you learn a lot of things together,” Trey laughed. 

“Lets go,” Cater said, pulling Mirai out the lounge, tripping over his own feet.

The pair walked up the stairs, through the diamond archway, and down the hall to the wing that held the upperclassmen rooms. Cater shoved the door open and shut it behind him. Mirai liked Cater’s room, it was very “Cater-esque.”

“Uh, you can sit anywhere, I’ll, I’ll get the tea, uh brb,” Cater stammered, standing in the doorway.

Mirai nodded, sitting on the bed. With that, Cater left. 

Mirai spent the time scrolling through his Magicam, when there was clatter outside the door, and Mirai jumped at the noise.

“Uh, I need a little help, my hands are kinda full,” said Cater’s muffled voice from outside the door.

Mirai opened the door for Cater, who was balancing two beautiful covered porcelain trays, one in each hand. One had pictures of cakes on it, and the other teapots.

“Lemme…” Mirai mumbled taking the tray with the cakes on it. 

“Thanks,” Cater smiled, walking in the room, closing the door with hip. 

“Why didn’t you just use your signature spell? Extra hands ya’know?”

“O-Oh, yeah, I guess I could’ve done that.” Cater cleared a space to set everything down on a folding table. “Welcome to casa de Cater!”

Mirai laughed, “It’s nice as always.”

Cater removed the lid with the teapots on it and placed it down, “I hope I did it right, it’s your favorite after all.” There was a beat of silence, and when Mirai didn’t answer, Cater grew concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“S-Sorry, sorry,” Mirai said, snapping out of his stupor, “I-I, it’s just, it’s just, it’s very pretty.” 

The teapot and teacups were clear glass, the saucers looked like shattered glass. The pot handle was gold, it was swirled and twisted, and where the handle met the pot, there were porcelain lilies, trimmed in gold, their centers were yellow. The lid handle was a couple of lilies and a bud, and on the saucers was a lily and a gold twisted stem. The cups were like mini versions of the teapot, and the spoon was long and sliver with a lily on the top.

“What about it has you so quiet?” Cater asked, voice just above a whisper, like as if he spoke louder than that, whatever this mood was would shatter to pieces.

Mirai swallowed hard, trying to compose himself. “It looks just like the one my mother had.”

“Oh,” Cater said, eyes going wide, “I, uh, I’m sorry. We, we uh, we don’t have to use this one. I-I can-”

“N-No!”

Cater halted, not sure what to do.

 Mirai took a breath, trying to calm the sudden panic that rose through his body, before speaking again, “No, it’s okay. I'd really like to use that one, if that’s alright.”

“Okay,” Cater whispered.

Cater took a second before carefully flipping the cups over and poured the dark tea into the cups. As the tea was poured into the cup, its warm and rich scent permeated the air, and Mirai could immediately tell what it was.

“How did you know this was my favorite?” Mirai asked quietly.

Cater smiled softly, “I heard from Riddle that you like Earl Grey, so I brewed you some.”

“Thanks,” Mirai smiled.

“But you can add the sugar and stuff. I wouldn’t want to ruin your tea.”

Cater moved the bedside lamp and placed Mirai’s tea cup, spoon, and saucer, and a glass pot of honey and a bowl of sugar cubes on the bedside table. 

“It’s pretty,” Mirai said in awe.

“It’s been my favorite set, for a while now,” Cater said sheepishly, “It reminds me of you.”

Mirai flushed, “It’s far too beautiful to be compared to me.”

“I’d say you're even more so,” Cater teased, poking the Prefect on the nose, “but it fits you more than ever.”

Mirai flushed and busied himself with putting the sugar in his tea. Once it was to his liking, Mirai cradled the warm cup in his hands, staring into the deep colored liquid. Taking a sip, Mirai sighed, content. 

Cater lifted the lid of the tray with the cakes decorated on, and underneath was a smattering of little tea cakes and cookies. “These are for you,” Cater smiled.

“If you’re trying to butter me up so that we won’t do your overdue work, you're sorely mistaken,” Mirai smirked.

“Me?” Cater gasped dramatically, “Butter you up? I would never!”

“Okay, okay,” Mirai laughed, stirring his tea, “But we’re still doing them.”

“I know,” Cater sighed.

The next two hours were spent in each other's company. Mirai oversaw as Cater did his work, and of course that didn’t go smoothly. More than once did Cater zone out and stare out the window, then he would periodically check his Magicam, which ended up with Mirai taking his phone, sticking it in the bookshelf. Cater whines dramatically at that. Then Cater changed the song that was playing a bunch of times, saying it either didn’t fit his mood, or match the vibe. This then led to Cater picking his favorites to sing along to, then he started dancing in his seat, and then he went on a tangent on his favorite singers and the gossip around them as of late. Mirai had to get him back on track after that one, well that was until Cater got up to “use the bathroom” for the fifth time. 

Mirai really couldn’t help Cater other than keeping the third year on track. They had different lessons, different classes, and different requirements being in different years and all, but Mirai tried to support and help the best he could. And once Cater got focused he didn’t stop, and not long after he finished all his assignments. 

“Done,” Cater sighed, dropping his pencil and stretching his arms above his head. 

“Good job,” Mirai praised, eating yet another teacake. Mirai honestly didn’t know how many he’d eaten since they’d started. 

“That was so boring,” Cater whined, “A total #snoozefest.”

“I’m proud of you though. I really am.”

Cater looked stunned, and as he went to say something, there was a knock at the door. Cater took the opportunity to take the attention off himself and answer it. It was Trey.

“I came to see if you two wanted dinner,” Trey smiled.

“Oh! Can I invite Grim?” Mirai asked, suddenly remembering the cat back at home. “I’m sure he hasn’t had actual food all day.”

“Of course.

Trey left with that and Cater followed shortly after he started up a conversation with the Vice. Mirai sighed. Oh well, he’ll try again some other time.

Days passed and Mirai was kicking himself for not asking Cater earlier, because now, it seemed it was too late. Something had happened after that day Mirai helped the third year with his homework. Mirai knew he was hiding something, but something about that day became the tipping point for Cater, and now it all was just…wrong.

It started with Cater disappearing every so often. Mirai brushed it off until he didn’t show for one of his classes. Riddle had gotten him for that one, but Cater brushed it off saying he went to the infirmary for a stomach ache. And Mirai asked him if he was okay, he seemed to freeze up before kissing him atop his head, telling him not to worry.

 Then Cater stopped stopping by to walk him from classes. The first couple of times, Mirai didn’t mind, he wasn’t a two year old in need of a hand to hold lest he get lost, but after it continued after the fourth and fifth time, it began to hurt. Was Cater busy? Had Mirai annoyed him? Mirai couldn’t find an answer, nor did he have the courage to ask. 

And then when he saw the Heartslabyul third year in passing, he just wave like nothing was wrong. Cater talked his ear off like he always did, not that Mirai minded, but he wouldn’t touch him, or at least not directly. He’d wrap his arm around Mirai’s waist, pat him on the shoulder, but he wouldn’t hold his hand. And oh how Mirai craved to feel Cater’s lips against his own. Mirai couldn’t remember the last time Cater kissed him, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt Cater’s warm breath mingling with his own, the slide of Cater’s tongue against his, or the taste of his cherry chapstick. What about his touch? When was the last time Cater touched his skin, hugged him, held him close like he never wanted to let go when he stayed the night? 

Mirai wanted to be angry, to yell, scream, but he couldn’t. He wanted to be mad at Cater, he wanted to confront him, chew him out, but that wouldn’t be fair, because he was to blame. He was too afraid to communicate, to ask for himself, and now look where that got him. And today was his breaking point.

Mirai noticed it the moment he saw the strawberry blonde that morning for breakfast. Cater had entered the cafeteria with the rest of Heartslabyul, a smile on his face as bright as the sun, ready to take on the world. He was chatty, filling Trey in on his newest Magicam gossip, but something was off. 

“Good morning, Babydoll. Sleep well?” Cater asked, happily.

“Meh,” Mirai said, staring intently at Cater. 

Mirai reached across the table to hold Cater’s hand, but Cater’s eyes flicked to his hand, and in a split second, he dropped his fork.

“Oops,” Cater said, reaching to pick the silverware up. “Ima go get another fork. Brb!”

Once Cater came back, he kept his hands off the table for the rest of breakfast.

It was safe to say Mirai skipped over the stage of dejection and went straight to irritation. What had he done to make Cater not want to hold his hand? And to go as far as making a show of “dropping” his fork to avoid him? Mirai grumbled to himself, the moment the last bell rang, he was gonna confront Cater. The bell rang, signaling the start of classes and Mirai sighed. It was gonna be a long day. 

Throughout the day, Mirai caught glimpses of bright orange waves, but not once were those green eyes on him. But the was something that Mirai wanted to confirm, to see if the inkling in the back of his mind was just anxiety. 

“You guys think Cater’s being weird today?” Mirai asked as he did his Potionology worksheet.

“What ya mean?” Deuce asked.

“Isn’t he your boy-thing or whatever?” Grim muttered out. “Shouldn’t you know?”

“I don't know. He just is.”

“I don’t know man,” Ace said, “Maybe you’re looking too far into things?”

“Maybe,” Mirai said looking back at his work. 

It was their free period and Mirai and the other freshman got together to work on some homework.

“Yall get inna lovers spat or somethin’?” Epel asked curiously.

“Nope,” Mirai said curtly.

“Sure sounds like ya did.”

“Why do you ask anyways?” Jack asked.

Mirai looked across the courtyard where Cater was with a gaggle of third years. He was talking animatedly, his smile wide, his voice light and playful. But his eyes, from here he couldn’t see them, but he knew from earlier that despite his happy attitude, his eyes didn’t show that at all.

“He said he didn’t feel well, earlier this week,” Mirai half lied.

“Well, now that you mention it, he does seem a little unwell,” Sebek mused. 

“His vitals are coming back positive,” Ortho chimed in. “Maybe he’s tired? Idia gets like that sometimes.”

“Maybe,” Mirai muttered, turning his attention away from Cater. 

Classes ended and just when Mirai thought he was gonna make yet another trek home alone, Cater was waiting for him outside the door.

“Ready to go, Baby?” Cater asked.

“Ya sure you’re not too busy?” Mirai asked, a little more than annoyed.

“How could I be too busy for you?” 

Mirai raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as he began his walk home. Cater followed happily, as he typed and scrolled away on his phone. Mirai tried to ignore it, but really? Was he not gonna pay attention to him? Not even tell him of his day? Maybe Cater really was getting tired of him?

“Well, will you at least hold my hand?” Mirai asked, voice harsher than he intended. 

“A-Ah, sorry,” Cater said, panic coloring his face. “Sure.”

Well, why wasn’t he taking his hand? Mirai stared at Cater as he seemed to panic, like he couldn’t figure out how it worked?

“Cater?” Mirai asked.

Cater suddenly looped to Mirai left and switching his phone to his left hand, he reached and took his prosthetic hand into his right. Why?! Mirai let go and stepped into Cater path. 

“What’s going on with you tha-”

The third year suddenly stopped in his tracks, and while trying to avoid a collision, he dropped his phone, the device luckily falling to the grass.

Mirai muttered a curse, “Sorry, lemme-”

Cater gasped, “N-No it’s-”

They both reached for the smartphone and as their hands collided, Mirai reeled back, trying not to let the surprise, no fear, show on his face. Cater’s hands were cold. Cater looked up at Mirai, knowing their hands touched, trying to gauge if Mirai felt it too, but Mirai said nothing, his expression unreadable.

“Sorry,” Mirai muttered.

“I-It’s fine,” Cater stuttered. 

The two just stared at each other, and Mirai tried to fight the tears that threatened to fall.

“Well I gotta stop by Sam’s to pick up some breakfast. Text ya after clubs?” Mirai croaked.

“Of course,” Cater smiled. “Later, Babydoll.”

Mirai watched Cater’s back retreat back to the school building, no doubt going to his club meet. And Mirai’s hunch was right, the theory that had been burning in the back of his mind for the better half of the week was true. This Cater was a fake. He needed to find Cater.

Mirai stopped by Heartslabyul. Most of the guys were at their respective clubs, so it was easy to slip in a claim that he was here to drop something of Cater's off. Mirai followed the hallways that led to the upperclassmen wing, and making it to Cater’s room, Mirai stopped at the door and knocked. No one answered. Mirai knocked again and waited, and still got no answer. Mirai sighed, hoping Cater wouldn’t be too mad as he tried the door, and to his luck, it was open. 

Mirai pushed his way into the dark room, and slowly tipped his way to the bed. 

“Cater?’ Mirai whispered. “Cater?”

Mirai looked at the bed and it was empty, the sheets immaculate. Mirai’s stomach dropped.

“Okay, okay, this doesn’t mean anything,” Mirai tried to convince himself as he exited the vacant room. “So he wasn’t here, cool, that’s fine. So now we just gotta find him.” 

Mirai checked the rest of the dorm, the balconies, the croquet field, and when Mirai couldn’t find him in the rose maze, he began to panic.

“Where are you?” Mirai muttered.

Cater sat in the observatory, looking up at the stars. He was tired, his brain wouldn’t shut up, and now he didn’t have his phone to distract himself. But then again, maybe it was for the best. Because now he didn’t have to see the hateful comments on his feed, now he didn’t have to see all the things he envied, all the things he hated himself for. No he couldn’t compare himself to the thousands of others who he doom scrolled across, now he didn't have to see the cringe photos his double posted in his stead. 

Cater sighed, feeling the pull of magic tingle in the back of his mind. His clone was still out there, filling in as him for the day. Just as it had been for the better half of the week. He could do this, he’d been keeping it up this long and no one noticed. Not his freshmen, not Riddle, not Trey, not Kalim and Lilia. Not even Mirai.

Cater chuckled to himself. Not even his lover could tell the difference. He was just that replaceable, wasn’t he? Just another faceless being, just another unoriginal internet personality, just another poser. The sound of the doors sliding open, made Cater startle, and then irritation washed over him. So much for some peace.

“Getting so extra studying in?” Cater asked, trying to sound like his usual self. “I feel ya. Someti-”

“Ya’know, if you don’t wanna do this anymore you could’ve told me.”

Cater whipped his head around and instead of seeing one of his fellow third years, he was looking down on his angry lover.

“I will not be your plaything,” Mirai shouted, eyes watery, “I-I will not be y-your, your latest trend! So if I’m tiring you, say it to my face and we'll end it now!”

“He-hey, wa-wait! I-”

“And the clone! Really?! I know you know how dangerous that is! How long have you been doing that?! Where are your blot levels at?”

Shoot. Cater hadn’t even checked how much he had accumulated. Cater’s eyes flicked over to his pen. He could still see red, but it was awfully cloudy, black beginning to take up around the edges.

“Clone? There’s no clone,” Cater lied with a smile, “I don’t what you-”

“Boss, I’m back. I took notes on what-”

The clone stopped dead in it’s tracks, it’s green eyes wide in fear much like it’s owners. The double looked between Mirai and Cater, not sure how it could salvage this situation.

“Mi-Mi, I-”

“Dismiss him,” Mirai said, voice devoid of emotion as he ignored the clone. 

Cater stood from his spot on the floor, “Mirai, I-I-I didn’t-”

“If you’re gonna explain yourself, I'd rather hear it from you,” Mirai huffed. “Not, not, not from him, and not with him here. ”

Cater sighed, taking his phone from the copy before dismissing him into a burst of playing 

cards. There was silence between them, neither of them looking each other in the eye. No one knew who’d break the silence first.

“Fine. Let’s just say I’m totally wrong, which I’m not, why were you here all day, and not in your classes?”

“You know,” Cater said playfully, “sometimes Cay-Cay’s brain does a silly and-”

“Cater,” Mirai called, cutting off the strawberry blondes rambling.

“Y-Yeah?” Cater smiled.

“Stop smiling.”

Cater faltered, but when Mirai’s gaze didn’t let up did Cater finally drop the act, and it was like a flip switched. His green eyes were void of their usual happiness and gone was his smile, an irritated sneer in its place. This wasn’t the Cater Mirai knew, but it was one that Mirai wanted to know, as crazy as it sounded. Mirai could count how many times he’s witnessed this side of Cater on one hand. He’d seen it twice during Riddle’s Overblot, and the other was a mistake.

“That’s better,” Mirai smirked snarkily.

“So now you’re here to tease?” Cater sneered.

“Not tease, scold is more like it. Do you know how dangerous that little stunt was?”

“I can handle it,” Cater huffed. “I’ve done it before, I can do it again.”

“Oh come on! You and I both know that’s not a smart idea.”

“So how’d you know?” Cater asked, ignoring that last statement. “How’dja figure it out, cus I honestly thought I was doing pretty good sending those copies. It worked for the better half of the week.”

“To be honest I didn’t know at first,” Mirai admitted, “But then you wouldn't touch me.”

“‘Course. Their body temperature isn’t exactly human.”

“Also, not sure if you know, but the longer your clones stray away from you, the less “normal” they look.”

Mirai thought back to earlier in the day when he’d been watching Cater. The clone looked a bit pale, sick even. And it’s eyes, they were dull, void of life and emotion.

“Noted.”

“No, not noted,” Mirai grit out. “What’s eating you so much that you’d endanger yourself like this?!”

Cater didn’t say anything.

“Are you that repulsed by me that you’d send a clone in your place? 

“Repulsed is one word for it.”

“If you’re mad at me, then tell me why! Yell at me, get in my face, I don’t care! Anything beats the way you-”

“Do you actually love me, Mirai?” Cater asked with a finality that made Mirai’s hair stand on end.

“Wh-What?! You’re asking me that after all of this?!” Mirai asked, “I should be asking you that question!”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do! Even if you’re really making me question everything we’ve been doing these past few months.”

“You sure it’s me and not Cay-Cay?” Cater smiled.

“Wha-What?”

“Oh come on Mirai! You saw it today! I’m replaceable! I’m just another soulless personality! Just another smiling face! No one! Not a single person realized that I wasn’t me! All I have to do is smile, take a pic, make a dumb joke, and act like the next unintelligent trend chasing magicammer out there, and boom! What do you have?! Cater Diamond!” 

“That’s not true and you know it,” Mirai shouted back.

“Ya’know, I started thinking about us after our break. I realized how much has changed, how much I have changed since I’ve met you. And I started thinking about how our relationship might look in the future.”

Mirai was taken aback at his confession, but stayed silent in favor of letting him speak first.

“It then got me wondering if I would ever be able to bring you home to meet my family? And I already know how they see me, but I don’t know if they truly accept us. And then I began to wonder, who is Cater?”

“I-I-I don’t, I don’t follow-”

“Is Cater me or the me I created in response to my sisters? Is Cater the Cater I created in response to my life as the kid who moved every year, as the kid without a real friend in Twisted Wonderland? Is Cater the Cater who overshares to keep people close, that they think they know me, but far enough to have a real connection? And I began to wonder, which Cater you are dating, and if you love the actual Cater, and not the one I created.”

“Of course I love you,” Mirai growled. “I told you before, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship before, so it’s def not a word I throw around lightly.”

“Then who am I to you, Mirai?” Cater asked coldly.

“You already know the answer to that. You’re my boy-”

“Nuh uh. Who am I to you?”

Mirai swallowed, taking a breath, “You are kind and caring, selfless, always putting others first. You are attentive, always knowing how someone’s feeling, always the one to lift the mood. You are you. You don’t have to be smart, or athletic, super pretty, and you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be Cater, and that’s enough for me.”

Cater was stunned into silence, and Mirai took the chance to continue. “Cater, Cater I, Cater I want to be someone you can rely on, someone you can trust,” Mirai said looking down at his feet, “I’m worried about you, and I’ve been thinking of ways to go about this, but I was scared I was pushing you away. I’ve never been in an actual relationship before, and I really didn’t want to mess this up, well, I guess I already have, but I don’t wanna mess up anymore than more than I already have,” 

Mirai sighed, looking up at Cater, “I don’t want you to face your problems alone if you don’t have to. If you really don’t wanna talk, then we don’t have to, but I’m here for you. I always will be. And if you want me to leave, I’ll go.”

It was the quiet sob that had Mirai climbing the stairs to Cater, and when he saw the rivers of tears falling down his cheek, his heart broke in two. “Oh, Cater,” Mirai sighed, “Come here.”

Cater fell forward, and pressed his face into Mirai's chest and sobbed. Cater gripped the Prefect like a lifeline, fingers white knuckled in his shirt. Mirai let him stay there as he cried, holding him tight, and steady. The Prefect let Cater cry, rubbing his back as his breathing grew between sobs. Mirai would always be there, as long as Cater would allow him to be, he’d be there. 

“I-I-,” Cater stuttered.

Mirai sat up and gave Cater his full attention.

“I feel horrible, I feel like I’m lying to you. And I don’t know how to fix it,” Cater babbled.

“You are more than what you think, Cater. You are more than your Magicam account, you are more than what you post, or how many followers you have. You are more important than how others perceive you, you are braver then your darkest thoughts. You are irreplaceable.”

Cater was sobbing into his sleeves, shoulders shaking. 

“I’m, I’m sorry,” Cater hiccuped, sniffling.

“Don’t be,” Mirai reassured, “But I really am proud of you Cater.”

Cater slowly sat them down and pressed himself into Mirai hold. Mirai slowly fell back onto the cold floors, sighing as Cater smushed his face into Mirai’s neck. They stayed like that for a while, Cater lying on Mirai's chest, and Mirai, combing his fingers through Cater’s soft orange hair.

“Thanks,” Cater croaked after a while.

“You’re welcome,” Mirai said softly.

 Sometime after they both calmed, the two of them ended up laying on the observatory floors, looking up at the bright night sky. Cater was dozing, lying halfway on Mirai’s chest, and Mirai laying there, combing his fingers through Cater’s hair.

“You’re soft,” Cater mumbled after a while.

“Am I?” Mirai asked quietly.

Cater nodded.

“I love your hair,” Mirai whispered, scratching his nails down into the roots, “It’s so soft, so thick, and so vibrant.”

Cater hummed, turning his head into the scratches. Mirai chuckled, scratching down Cater’s head, and onto his nape. Cater sighed shakily.

“I love how bright your eyes are, and I love your freckles.”

Cater whimpered, turned his face into Mirai’s chest, and visible flush coloring his cheeks.

“I love you, Cater.”

“I-I love you, too,” Cater whispered. 

Mirai smiled, kissing the top of Cater’s head and Cater leaned into it, silently begging for more, and obliged with a loving chuckle. 

Cater yawned, “‘m tired.”

“Well we can’t sleep here, but we can go back to Ramshackle?” Mirai offered, “We can make some quick instant Ramen and watch a movie?”

Cater smiled, “Yeah. Let’s go.”

Together the two of them left the observatory, and headed to Ramshackle, the weight of their troubles seemed to float up into the stars as those heavy metal doors slid shut behind them.

[neiptune]

Hii !! 😁 Finally got around to properly reading through your event, and would like to send in a request❣️

“Once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned, you and I ended up in the same room at the same time,” w/ Levi (AoT)?! I’d like to drown in fluff pls and ty. 😌😂

Hope you’re having fun writing for your event !! I feel so spoiled getting to request something from a fave of mine. 🫢💓 Tyvm !!

levi ackerman x once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned, you and I ended up in the same room at the same time

a/n: it's a pleasure and an honor to write something for you <3

The tea shop is reasonably quiet as you stand by the counter, eyes focused while scanning the minimal menu board hanging on the wall behind the cashier. She's nice and probably glad there's no one standing in line behind you because you're taking fucking forever, as the one person standing next to you would politely put it.

“I think I'm gonna go with, uhm, lotus tea. Is it good?”, a soft, apologetic smile tugs at your lips as the cashier briefly turns around to take a look at the menu herself.

“Yes, the trà sen is sweet and quite useful for relieving stress”

“Sounds perfect for me, then”

Levi has already offered to pay but you really wanted for this one to be on you, for a change. It's his favorite place, after all, the one where he spends almost all his lunch breaks and mornings, on the days he gets to work from home. It's actually quite fancy and not self-service based, despite orders being taken directly at the counter. Members of the staff bring the orders to the table, with porcelain cups, small teapots made of black ceramic and, occasionally, a plate with a few neatly piled senbei.

He likes the tea shop so much you remember him listing all the reasons why it's the best one in town on your second date.

They know which ones to brew for under two minutes.

Staff doesn't talk much.

They memorize your order easily.

Bathroom's clean.

And ever since, you take pride in having memorized exactly what he likes. Black in the morning (brewed for 3-5 minutes), green or white in the afternoon (4-5 minutes), zest black in the evening (3-5 minutes), peppermint if it's snowing (4-5 minutes), licorice root when his throat is sore (4-5 minutes).

The brush of a hand on your forearm as soon as you're done with the payment and he gently guides you to the table next to the window overlooking the sidewalk, his table. You don't apologize for the time it took you to decide on the order, not anymore. Levi is constant in showing just how much he doesn't mind waiting. He stays by your side as you read all the different tea types over and over again, hand on the small of your back. He waits on a platform that isn't his, because he will never step on the train that will take him home, no matter how late it is, unless he's sure you're safely on your way first (and, besides, it gives him an excuse to listen to your voice for a while longer). Levi is at close distance the entire time you scan shelves upon shelves packed with make-up products, aromatherapy shower steamers, weighted blankets, snarky adult coloring books as you frantically look for the best birthday gift for your mom or best friend. He sits right behind you, legs wide enough for you to squeeze in between and rest your back on his chest while you work with your laptop balanced on your lap, one of his hands gently massaging your scalp. Even if it's his couch and he was working on it first. Even if he hates missing deadlines. He will, for you.

“Levi” you softly call, although there's no need, he's already looking at you.

“Hm?”

“How would you tell someone about us?”

Confusion settles in the crests forming between his furrowed brows.

“What d'you mean?”

You gesture vaguely with your hands.

“How would you recount the story of us to someone? I mean, from the very beginning to, let's say, Erwin”

“Erwin already knows about the story of us, he was there”

“Okay, Hange, then?”

“Hange's your friend too now, they know everyth—”

Your impatient although playful sigh interrupts him as your nails lightly drum on the table.

“This is a hypothetical question, Levi. Just imagine you'd have to tell someone everything, from scratch”

His features don't really read impressed but nevertheless, he decides to play along. Doesn't he always?

“Do you need this to be sickeningly romantic, by any chance?”

You shrug.

“I'll leave that to your judgement”

Levi takes a sip of his tea, graceful as always, sometimes he has you wondering if he even belongs to the current century. Then he usually removes all doubt as soon as he curses under his breath his fuckin' asshole idiotic co-worker (usually Floch) or wonders why such a goddamn spoiled jackass (usually Eren) can't ever deliver his work on time.

“Alright” he sounds oddly confident as he clears his throat, but you recognize the mirthful glow in his gaze before he even starts “once upon a time, the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned, you and I ended up in the same room at the same time-”

You groan and he can't fight back the smile anymore, although he manages to hide half of it behind his cup.

“It shouldn't be that romantic—”

“Would you mind? I'm telling a story”

Although it's something he rarely does in public, he wishes he could reach across the table to kiss your pout away. With raised brows, he waits until he's sure you won't interrupt him again.

“My best friend decided to throw a house party, like some damn teenager, and I was forced to be there. Clearly, I hated every second of it. Until, can you guess? This earth-shattering, gorgeous woman walks in, already half-drunk on one of the two wine bottles she brought as a gift, arm in arm with her best friend. She finds me in the kitchen a few moments later and just starts having this absolutely unhinged monologue about cheese being the opposite of ham because they go together on a sandwich”

“Can't believe you remember all that” you feel slightly flustered, half embarrassed, ears still buzzing around the words earth-shattering and gorgeous. You also just voiced a big fat lie because by now you're oh so aware of how Levi just doesn't forget anything, ever.

“And I don't even know her name, mind you, but I keep listening until she asks for my opinion on the matter. Guess what I reply?”

“That cheese may be more adjacent to ham but its opposite is clearly mustard”

The airy chuckle he lets out makes you smile as well. For once, he's the one to surprise you as his hand reaches yours at last, fingers intertwined for everyone to see.

“It's partly what I actually believe, you know”

“What?” you ask, giving his hand a light squeeze.

Levi shrugs.

“That stars, planets and fates did align, the night I got to meet you”

[muzzleroars]

Just ignoring that I've been investedly reading and liking most of ya stuff recently, BUT (idk if you've answered this or not yet I might just be blind) but how do you think V1s and Gabe's first 'non hostile' encounter went? How did v1 go about resisting its programming, and gabe his, so to speak?

Thanks for further fueling my brainrot btw, your long text posts are like a guilty pleasure to read, pls make more ^^

aaaa thank you so much ;o; it genuinely makes me so happy to know that ppl read my ridiculously long answers to so many things and all the lore building!! i wish i could pass out pieces of cake to all of you.....

i actually haven't talked about this scenario in particular, but it's really one i enjoy even if it's a small, quieter scene. gabriel at this point needs something like closure, and i think just about all he can get is knowing whether or not the connection and passion he felt with v1 was reciprocated in some capacity. did v1 recognize him? can it feel anything from him? he had never been so personally affected by another, and so he goes against what he is to seek out that answer. to see if v1 is willing to interface with him through communicating rather than attempting to bleed him dry....because he thinks it just might. gabriel knows that v1 has the capacity to be non-hostile, as it has relented at the end of both of their encounters to allow him to speak, meaning its engagement of another actually isn't automatic or forced. that aside, he's also highly aware he instigated both fights - their encounter in gluttony was an obviously hostile display that v1 immediately responded to, while in heresy it....approached him from behind, yet didn't fire until he, again, armed himself against it. he knows he's set a precedent now, with v1 perhaps marking him as belligerent, but he decides to risk approaching it anyway with his swords sheathed to see what might happen.

i think he observes it at a distance for just a bit, seeing what it does when it has nothing around it to fight...and he's left half-surprised. it doesn't immediately take off to the next room in a mindless search for blood, but instead explores its surroundings uninhibited by enemy combatants. it's safe. it roots around curiously, using its guns and fists to break through obstacles and offering soft little chirps at unexpected sights or sounds. it's almost surreal for him, understanding in that moment that they had both only seen one side of the other - v1 is undoubtedly capable of tearing hell apart, yet it clearly has a mind that occupies itself beyond that goal. it has an internal world, and that's all he needed to know. so gabriel silently touches down when he's satisfied, doing his best to gauge just when to approach it so he doesn't catch it too off-guard (he even folds up his wings in an attempt to reduce his bulk)

as expected, v1 is still surprised and immediately wary - he sees its head snap to and its entire body stiffen to its viper-like readiness. a coin held fast, not yet launched into the air. gabriel raises his hands to show their emptiness, telling it in soft but certain terms that he wishes for them to meet in peace. v1 doesn't seem to respond, still standing in rapt attention and ready to strike. so gabriel stops moving forward and considers his options. again risky, but he's a dead man walking anyway. he kneels to the ground, bowing his head and still holding up his hands far from his swords in an effort to fully impress that he means it no harm. not this time. a beat passes between them, gabriel almost surprised by his own sense of calm, until he hears the quick little steps of v1's feet coming to greet him. the coin flicks and he almost winces, but then it flicks again. and again. and he looks up to see v1's face a couple inches from his own. he can hear the little zoom of its optical, see how the rings in its lens dilate and contract as it investigates him up close. he huffs a quiet laugh in response, sending v1 jumping back and flaring out its wings before he apologizes and continues to hold still. it seems to accept this as it moves back in, soon reaching out a hand to touch him and figure out just what he's made of, how he's put together.

gabriel begins to speak as it explores, at first a disjointed stream of consciousness until he can find how to articulate his troubled mind with its dying thoughts. he stays there bowed to it, coming to pour his heart out like a last confession to an entirely silent companion. until he asks if it hears him. if it knows him. if it recognizes anything in him or if he's truly alone in all he's felt, calling out to a partner that can't answer in the same way. and v1 stands there still quiet, still just staring. gabriel tries to immediately fill that silence like he can't bear it, saying that it's truly ok. even if v1 is empty, he thanks it for what it did, thanks it for letting him remember who he was and feel as if he was fully himself one last time. and he's never been just himself for himself, so it gave him something new right at the end of everything and even if all of this just the one-sided, foolish feelings of a dying angel it really is the only thing that can mean anything at all when the world is dying the same way he is - until v1 flicks its coin at his helmet. and it nods. it hears him. for once gabriel is rendered speechless as v1 huddles down next to him. it has time. gabriel struggles with the mortifying, terrifying, incredible, phenomenal thought that the little machine beside him might harbor an ounce of the same feelings he does for it. it's not an automatic love, it's not a complete surrender of what they had been before - v1 still hasn't processed its feelings while a part of gabriel still can't accept that he truly loves v1 (they're decently hot and cold for a minute, having quiet intimate moments that one or the other ruins - intentionally or not - to end in a bloody fight), but this is where it starts. because really, neither of them can come back from knowing that they would choose to spend time with each other without the promise of a fight.

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Lime for the poll runners’ ask game?

Lime -> participant(s) you’re rooting for the most?

i don't want to sway the votes so i won't do any propaganda for them after the poll starts BUT it's Wu Zetian/Li Shimin/Gao Yizhi from Iron Widow i just love the way their relationship develops so much and as someone whos unable to actually pick up a book and focus on it, the fact that i read iron widow in 4 days is amazing im still proud of that as silly as it is

yknow what ill use this as an opportunity to ramble about them askdgakdjk spoilers ahead but ill try to keep the major stuff out

for context the book has pacific rim style mechas, but instead of being drift compatible or whatever its usually a male pilot and his concubine whose life force he usually drains in order to pilot the thing, but theres a LOT of propaganda that makes girls want to be concubines, or families might wanna send their daughters for the money. im simplifying it a LOT especially cause theres more info u only learn later on as zetian herself finds out but anyway

at the start of the book zetian and yizhi are besties who obviously have feelings for each other. zetian is poor while hes very rich so their friendship is kind of a secret and they meet in the woods which i think is cute, point is its p clear zetian tries to mantain a distance, not allowing herself to admit her feelings. for reasons i wont say zetian decided to become a concubine to one of the like bigger more badass guys even if she doesnt believe the propaganda and knows she might die, she only tells yizhi this the day before

he shows up at her house the next day begging her family to let him marry her?????? which is sweet because he wants to protect her but that isnt gonna work bestie sorry she's a woman w a mission

so anyway she goes to the concubine thing and shes surprisingly powerful "for a girl" which yeah thats a super common trope but shes so much more than just the strong protagonist. shes extremely powerful in every sense of the word imo and i love her so much and i wish the world hadnt been so cruel that she had to become so strong. but anyway the guy she wants to pilot w picks her. MAJOR SPOILER they have to pilot the mecha on day 1 cause they're under attack and uhhh she kills him lol lmao she drains her life force instead which supposedly is UNHEARD OF

so they cant just kill her off cause that'd look bad instead they send her to be the concubine of the strongest guy (all of his concubines die after 1 fight) and thats Li Shimin my beloved my little meow meow hes looked down on and kinda treated like an animal cause hes a criminal and the only reason he gets to be a pilot is his powerful qi. anyway shes forced to live w him and turns out hes just a lil guy. like hes very big and scary looking but hes just a tired man pls he needs a break. she fucking survived piloting w him which nobody expected. so now theres a lotta stuff going on i wont get into but some ppl arent happy w this duo cause they're both very powerful and not exactly happy to serve. and Shimin has a drink problem.

IN ENTERS GAO YIZHI hes back babey!!! and he decides to help shimin w his alcoholism. its funny cause when they first meet his crush on li shimin is so fucking obvious zetian is like "huh i always suspected he liked guys too" but li shimin is just pissed cause this is the guy who wants to make him stop drinking

theres like 1 moment of jealousy that i can remember when li shimin realizes zetian and yizhi have a thing going on but its settled very quickly and they all kiss.

back to the drift compatible thing: at one point in the final battle zetian and shimin need more power and yizhi literally lends them his qi (its extremely rare for a third person to help) and its beautiful and they are so in love and i cant wait for the sequel

idk if any of that is coherent i kinda stopped thinking and just typed sorry for rambling on ur ask im just very passionate about them i love them so much i love iron widow so much i love xiran jay zhao so much (the writer) (you might know them from the live action mulan analysis video that went viral back when that movie came out) (check out their yt channel)

[cheemken]

can we pls hve wholesome dia hcs🥺

cld b in ur au or nah i just lve ur hcs

Y'know what,, sure as a treat hahah

This ain't in the villain au tho, cause idt anything abt that au is wholesome hahahah

Anyways have some wholesome Dia hcs uwu

•dont be fooled, she is impulsive as shit, and low-key a fuckin gremlin

-like the amount of times she and Geeta got in trouble back then in Paldea was insane, good thing they were wearing disguises and no one recognized them

•yknow w that, I wanna say that Diantha and Geeta when not together basically just embody what the public see em as (Kalos' angel and Paldea's Top Champion)

-the moment these two are together tho? They have one working braincell and neither of em are using it

-legitimately tho, like Geeta visits Dia in Kalos, the two be having cake vibing since ofc disguises, no one knows it's them

-and then Dia's all "dyou think I can eat three whole cakes by myself or is that some human hubris that will be the root of my downfall."

"four cakes or you're a coward."

"BET"

-so hey Dia spent the afternoon sick as fuck w a stomachache

•pls your honour I think Diantha deserves to be a lil silly, a lil goofy, she deserves it

•anyways yeah Siebold had to bail them out of jail one time

-bc Geeta was curious what she'd look like in her mugshot, and Dia's all "well, we should still look good when we get arrested" so imagine Geeta wearing a fuckin tux and Dia's wearing her Diancie dress and both of em are like Ken in that scene from Barbie hahaha

-again, disguises, so they were filed under their fake names and the police thought they were Siebold's foreign friends bc of fucking course

-bonus points "remember, if we ever get caught, neither of us can speak Galarian or Unovan, okay?"

"understood"

•fuckin love platonic pairings man I always have a soft spot for it so hey, imagine them just being there for each other

-despite the distance, despite the fact that they're both busy champions, they still manage to find time to check in on the other to see if they're okay

-and when they're together imagine them just vibing at Dia's own home, watching whatever horror movie Geeta just discovered, and they just cuddle and it's so soft and jcmdbdnd

-"if you were in a horror movie, you might be the final girl"

"really? I always thought I'd be the one to die first, or the one to suddenly open something cursed"

"that's not what I meant, you're pretty, so of course they'd let you live"

"is that really all it takes for me to live in a horror movie?"

"yeah"

"huh... We should test that theory"

"oh, definitely"

-her audition wasn't accepted bc the directors and such just couldn't see her playing in a horror movie

-Diantha and Geeta have never been so disappointed in their lives

-they ended up making their own movie w the other champions, and they ended up making a found footage horror

-a lot of people actually liked it

•since Geeta really loves horror movies, she and Diantha are immune to jumpscares and anything remotely gory or scary at this point

-they could watch any horror movie in the big screen and neither of em will flinch, all while the other champions are hiding behind their popcorn boxes

Anyways yeah hahaha

[whump-town]

"Paranoid" 

Should be in bed and asleep deadass rn but instead it's hotch's birthday so here's the worst thing i could think of:

Word count: 1500 words

The decay of late fall sets Hotch’s nerves on edge. Shadows begin to walk amidst the day again, the sun sets earlier and earlier every day and the wind comes back with a sharp clarity and the imminent threat of winter. Halloween decorations hang ripped from tree branches by the wind and unsupervised groups of teenagers. The leaves are wet, stomped to a soggy film overtop the concrete. Dry leaves skitter up the road, a dog barks two doors over. Hotch tries to narrow his focus on walking, watching his shoe touch down on the ground and propel him forward. Focus on walking rather than the twisted-up nerves in his stomach, the thought pressed up behind his eyes telling him to be afraid. To expect something, to be cautious. 

Jack will be home at seven-thirty, he has debate practice until five but he’s been on a kick the last month – using his own money to have dinner with friends. Hotch has met four teenagers, but supposedly their gang is made of six. They're nice kids, a little afraid of all the secrecy and the general state of how Hotch looks, but Jack is also a teen and Hotch won’t keep him home just because his life is fucked up. 

Hotch kicks his shoes off at the door, searching through the dark for any sight of Jack. He already knows Jack isn’t home – if he were, every light in the house would be on – but Hotch still tugs his jacket off and calls out anyway. It is his birthday, there might be a chance Jack has come home early to spend the day with him. He’s not exactly been father-of-the-year, Hotch isn’t even sure Jack thinks he’s a good dad, and up-rooting Jack’s entire life and moving blindly across the county did not win him any favors. 

Hotch falters as he steps into the kitchen, his brain processing the melted candles, wilted and drizzling wax down onto white icing. “Jack?” Hotch blows the last flame, a tiny flicker, out and turns around, heading for his room. “Jack!”

See and this is where it never makes any sense to him, that therapy business. Two different Bureau psychs told Hotch he was paranoid. He sees this little towny lady now, Cassandra. She’s thirty, but he’s certain she’s lying, and he struggles to get past the idea that she’s far too young to be dealing with a sad old man’s problems. He also hates her. She’s all about this feeling business, she has this annoying pillow with all the emotions on a wheel and she makes him point to what he feels before he’s allowed to speak. She’s also incredibly bossy and thinks he’s “hyper-vigilant”,  “paranoid”, and “uses logic to distance himself from his emotions”. 

Oh, he can’t wait to tell Cassandra about this. Paranoid, huh? Well, is it still called paranoid, Cassandra, if you’re right?

There’s a gun in the china cabinet. Hotch doesn’t even have to look, he keeps his back to the wall, as his hands push through the dust to where he knows, instinctively, his backup weapon is. There’s not a sound in the house – nothing. 

Clearing rooms is instinct, Hotch’s anxiety abates the moment the cold metal meets his palm. He knows what to do. Hotch feels like he breathes for the first time in months as he raises the gun, the thoughts clearing his head. Just silence. 

Hotch doesn’t realize how empty he’s left this house until he’s scanning the walls. He has nightmares about slamming Foyet’s head into his engagement photos. The way that the glass had broken, the shards in his fingers. Hotch can’t remember a lot from that fight but he does remember that, the way it felt through his hand as he drove Foyet’s head into the glass. 

He thinks about that a lot (it’s red on the feelings wheel, disgusted: embarrassed, appalled). 

Seeing the walls, the barren hall, and the empty living room make Hotch realize that he is the reason Jack doesn’t want to be here. This might be a house but he’s hardly made it anything else. It’s just empty rooms, a desolate, sad place Jack doesn’t want to come back to (that’s orange on the feeling wheel, sad: guilty, remorseful – he doesn’t like the feelings wheel but Hotch doesn’t half-ass anything, he’s got it memorized… that one’s come up in therapy actually). 

Hotch lowers the gun the moment he sees Jack and he’s blinded, black spots clouding his vision as something collides with the back of his head, snapping his jaw shut with an audible crack – the crack is not from his jaw, which does hurt, but nearly as much as getting hit with a gun. 

Hotch falls down to his knees and he shouts as his gun is kicked from his hand, a swift blow to his wrist that gives easily. Something wet and cold hits his face, a powerful assault that steals his breath as the substance burns its way down his throat. Hotch’s back hits the ground and he looks up at a mask. Foyet. His heart feels like it’s stopped, his face getting pale and really hot, and he lays paralyzed in fear. 

Peter Lewis pulls the mask off his face in one quick movement, revealing a smile behind the blacked-out mouth of the mask. “I thought that’d scare you,” he says, cheerily, holding the mask back from himself and smiling at it proudly. “I really had to search for this,” Lewis admits, tossing it onto Jack’s bed. “You know, the company that sold Mr. Foyet his mask made a huge profit after he escaped prison.” Lewis nods and then shrugs, “but they did stop selling them after you know who got killed… Haley. Your wife.” 

Hotch closes his eyes, willing his vision to clear when he opens them again. He can hardly focus his eyes and he can’t move his head but he can see Jack from the corner of his eye. He’s frozen, standing completely still with tears streaming down his face. There’s cake batter dried to his hands and shirt and flour all over his pants. 

“Now,” Lewis says, clearing his throat and offering Jack the gun. “We talked about this,” Lewis reminds Jack, “take the gun.” 

Jack sobs, choking but he takes the gun from Lewis. 

“Do it.” Hotch watches the way Lewis looks at Jack, that giant creepy smile trying to soothe Jack, attempting to calm him down so he can press the trigger. “You have to do it, Jack.” 

Jack closes his eyes, his right hand stretching the gun out in front of him but the rest of him turned from it. “No,” he manages, coughing as he grows more and more distressed. He’s hyperventilating, sobbing as he stands there. “Please.” 

“Hotch,” Lewis says, turning suddenly to him with a smile. “Tell Jack who killed his mother.” 

Hotch shuts his eyes, feeling the compulsion to speak, the ability, hit him like his mouth is watering. “I did.”

“Louder!”

“I did!” Hotch can feel himself shaking, the effects of the drugs are starting to hit him a little stronger. He feels light-headed, and suddenly so cold. “I did, it was my fault.”

Lewis tsks, “well there you have it.” He smiles at Jack, “now do it.”

Jack shakes and yelps when Lewis grabs his other hand, putting them both on the barrel and aiming the gun down at Hotch. “Do. It.” Lewis commands one last time. “You kill him or I kill you both.”

“Jack.” Jack’s attention turns gratefully to Hotch, wanting nothing more than for his father to just end this already. Figure this crap out and get them home – Jack just wants his dad, he doesn’t know how to do this. He’s just scared. 

“It’s okay,” Hotch is panting, whatever drug Lewis sprayed in his face fucking sucks. Hotch has not done a lot of drugs but he’s done enough, more than enough to know whatever this shit is, it’s awful. “It’s okay, buddy.” He can’t see anything anymore, the cake batter on Jack’s shirt has faded into the blue fabric. Black spots are blocking the center of his vision, trying to take him down into the cold with them. “ ‘s… ‘kay.”

Lewis nudges the gun back up, wrapping his arm around Jack’s shoulder. “Won’t be long,” Lewis whispers. “I told you the drugs were strong, he won't feel it. You can do it, Jack. It’s so much easier than you think.”

"Dad," Jack sobs, his knees shaking beneath him and he feels Lewis stand closer to him. "Dad–"

The gunshot is ignored, a solitary confusing sound but the sound of screaming, of gut-wrenching sobs, draws attention to the quiet little house.

[autisticcassandracain]

Loveless aromantic Orion lives in my head rent free it really truly does. I know it requires rewriting canon but pls. I want it So Bad it'd be So Interesting!!

Like the loveless movement within the aromantic community is in no small part about challenging the normative conceptions of what makes a human, what makes a good person. Orion's entire character is built on his struggle with this!

Orion struggles to be a good person, unable to fit in on New Genesis, where compassion comes easy for (almost) everyone, whereas he has to wor for it, keep his violent impulses in check, manage his anger. At the same time, he truly wants nothing more than to belong. He masks his Apokoliptian appearance, reforming himself into something New Genesian, distancing himself from his Apokoliptian roots. And yet. And yet. It always comes spilling back out. He can never be New Genesian, not really.

Orion's character is about asking what it means to be good, and the answer given is that it's your choices. Orion has a lot of naturally violent tendencies, but he choses to try and curb them, to work towards peace in whatever way he can.

And I know canon went in a very different direction but I think it'd be far more interesting if we played into this with love as well. New Genesis, drenched in love, which comes naturally to its inhabitants, and Orion, forever alienated. He does not understand the concept, can't fathom feeling so deeply for another person that it tears your heart apart, doesn't understand what people talk about when they say this nebulous force is what drives you to do good. And obviously, this is because he's from Apokolips, right? Goodness is something he has to work for, as is kindness, compassion. It stands to reason he'd have to work for love as well. There's just something innately wrong with him.

But that's not how it works! Many people from Apokolips can love! And not everyone from New Genesis can, or even really wants to!

It'd be such a cool opportunity to explore the role love plays in the forces of good, the way it can be used as a weapon against those who don't fit in, deconstructing it as an innate force of good, a prerequisite, even. Just. Have a lot of thoughts on it.

[charmingbrute]

ok you win, Ignore the last one pls, do [ LOVE ] for ares instead >:3c

[ LOVE ]:     the writer begins the first of a series of love letters to the recipient.

Beloved Hythlodaeus,

How goes the life of the Bureau of the Architect's Chief? Engaging, I hope. You have been in my thoughts, for all the good it has done me since I have left. To my surprise, I cannot help but worry about your well-being. You've been direly missed and I truthfully wish I could be there with you as we were before.

Not to take away to the root of the matter. I must mention that I am alarmingly concerned about your habits and routines of late. Allow me to ask, have you been taking care of yourself properly? Are you eating well and getting sufficient rest? It's effortless to get caught up in work and our responsibilities. Likewise, there is also value in prioritizing your health and peace.

I'm here, far as I am at present. I shall support you amidst the distance and help you in any way possible for myself. I desire for you to be at your absolute best and nothing less. If it's within my power, it will be done. So, take this as a firm reminder to look after yourself. No, it is not a request. When I return, I will know if you have not done so.

Your laugh in my mind ever comforts me, Ares

-

One and Only Hythlodaeus,

It has been some time since my last letter. You'll have to forgive me as I haven't been able to conjure them in regular intervals due to my presence being in so demand. Believe you me, it is not a boast. I am honestly finding it troublesome. Still, your dearly occupied Ares has found a moment to tell you that you still mean a lot to me. Always in my mind do you wander tirelessly with your silly, little feet.

Yesterday, as I was familiarizing myself through a field so distant from home, I came across a beautiful flower. It was a perfect example of grace and beauty, and who else would it remind me of but you? Just like this aforementioned flower, you bring brightness and color to my life. You are a fine breath of fresh air in a world that can sometimes be dull, painful to live through and monotone.

The way the sun shone upon this precious flower was akin to your smile lighting up a room. Your laughter like the soft rustling of leaves, and your gentle touches alike the gentle breeze which caressed the petals. A symbol of hope, joy, and love amidst this barren place. You are this flower upon the field.

You must always know that you are loved and appreciated by me. The happiness and beauty you naturally bring into my life is to not be underestimated, and I cannot be aught but grateful for it. You know me. I do not believe in such a thing as luck, but if I were a lucky man, your being mine is the testatement to it. We shall see each other again, you and I.

Sleep early and be not like me, Ares

-

Hythlodaeus,

What is this that I hear that you've been overexhausting yourself in the many days that have passed? I understand very well that you are wholly driven and dedicated to your work, but what did I say in my prior letter about self-care being just as valuable? Your health and well-being. Top prioty or someone will pay for this carelessness of yours.

I cannot express how angry and frustrated I am for your sake. Do not giggle, I know you are making that face right now as you read this and find humor in my scolding. You deserve to have a proper balance between life and work, and to be treated with the utmost respect and dignity. I am aware that you've been putting in long bells and sacrificing your own needs for the sake of the Star. It is not worth it. Listen to me for once. Whatsoever happened to you doing the scolding between us? Must you give me further reasons to abandon my station to teach you a lesson?

I am here for you and I will always support your every decision. However, you cannot expect yourself to reastically do this by your lonesome. Write more letters to me if you must. I ought to help you in any way I am able, whether it is just being a listening or venting ear, or offering to help with your own frustrations. So take a mindful step back and focus on yourself for a change. There'll be none that can blame you. If they do, direct them to me. I have faith in your strength, capabilities and intelligence, but really now? You are making me think of you the more foolish man between us.

Do not make me come home earlier than I must, Ares

-

Sourface Hythlodaeus,

Take that frown off of your handsome face, will you? I've just returned, yet you already appear more tired of me than your responsibilities. I simply wanted to take a moment to speak about our recent conversation pertaining to the shark concepts. I understand that you are exhausted of hearing about them, but I cannot help it, I find them most fascinating!

You might not understand this curiosity of mine with these magnificent creatures, but they have always been a source of inspiration and wonder for me ever since you spoke of the many concepts your colleagues have fashioned. Their strength, agility, variety and intelligence are truly remarkable. It is a gift to this Star!

You're not fond of them, this I know. Still, I would most love for you to give them another chance. Mayhaps we can go to the Words of Mitron and have a closer look of these amazing creations. In time, you'll come to accept their potential and find them as fascinating as we all do. I ask more of your patience and understanding in this matter. I can be a touch enthusiastic about my own interests. Fear not, I promise to respect your feelings and opinions if it truly cannot be changed. I want us to share and partake in each other's interests, not merely tolerate them, different they may be.

You are my beloved and closest friend, Ares

-

'Old Friend' Hythlodaeus

In spite of our time together, you still call me that. So, allow me reciprocate. How goes my old friend? This old friend of yours wanted to take a moment to reflect on our first kiss. Do you recall that day? It was a bright afternoon, and we were sitting on a bench in Amaurot, as old friends are wont to do. The lights were blinding, and the birds were singing, but all I could focus on was you.

As I looked into your most gorgeous eyes, I knew that our lips had to meet. I leaned in, and we have kissed in the most perfect and gentle way ever possible. Such a moment is difficult to forget. If you have, I'll recreate that moment to remind you, for it is the moment wherein I have come to accept that you have stolen my heart. Dirty, little thief, you.

Each time I reminisce about it, I am overwhelmed by the happiness and love that sits within me. You make me want to sing, and every noise in the background becomes a melody dedicated to you. So, how about we make more memories like that, old friend? Our hands clasped together, your skin on mine, and tell me again how I'm your dearest old friend? No, I am not pouting. I find this habit of yours charming in a way.

Your old friend forevermore, Ares

[mrs-bingley]

Opinion on art museums &

Advice on life pls 🙏

I love art and art museums, so I try to visit them whenever I can. Especially in the last two years, I've come to appreciate art a lot and it's extremely satisfying to me to visit. My boyfriend makes fun of me because he says that I always want to imprint the art in my brain and it takes me a lot of time to see everything. And he's right. But art should take time, in my opinion. We are a bit used to go museums and seeing hundreds of pieces in hours. But each piece took weeks, sometimes MONTHS of work. And I should look at it in seconds? At the same time you pay a daily ticket (at least here in Italy) and you can get in once and you really feel the rush of seeing everything in the time slot you have. But I don't like it. I wish museums were open and that I could get into every weekend for a month just to see one single piece for hours. At the same time, here in Italy most cities have civic museums and because most cities are somewhat old you don't need to go in the big places to find important names. Which makes for exciting surprises and it does allow you to see things even if you don't travel long distances.

As for life advice, ah...I don't know if I'm the right person. Sometimes I think I know nothing at all! But because of reasons lately I wanted to give this advice to my niece: sometimes you feel like you need to change to fit in because of fear of being left out, but if you feel rooted in who you are and know what you like and dislike and what you tolerate or won't tolerate from people, then you will have no fear of not being liked by others. Because it won't be important if they don't like you, you know who you are and that will be enough to give you the strength to walk away and find better people for you. If there's anything more specific you'd like to hear my two cents on, just shoot another ask! :D

✨ Let’s have a sleepover! ✨

[27timescinema]

PANEL – MIU MIU 2023

By Agnieszka Gryz (PL) // Photos © Marija Mireckaitė (LT)

“A complex construction site, New York’s skyline in the distance, and fresh betrayal. Stane (Danica Curcic) is in charge on-site, soon to inherit the family business from her father, who built it up as a Croatian immigrant also building the American dream. But Stane’s marriage is under threat of demolition. What ensues is a public reckoning between traditional, patriarchal expectations made upon wives versus Stane’s own pain and anger. But Stane is building her own life story though — outside of the permission of men.”

Returning this year to Venice, the Miu Miu Women’s Tales unveiled their newest addition: Stane by Antoneta Alamat Kusijanović. A Croatian filmmaker, writer and producer joins the acclaimed short film series as one of its “most profound and original female directors”, unriddling vanity and femininity in the 21st century. Partnering with Giornate degli Autori, Miu Miu Women's Tales #26 (Stane) premiered on September 3, accompanied by a conversation with Kusijanović and Curcic.

A story of parental and patriarchal control, family issues and female resilience, Stane bears traces of the director’s own origins. Dubrovnik-born and New York-based, Kusijanović titled the motion picture after her great-grandmother. “With this film, I wanted to honour Stane.” Intertwining the inspiration and the imagined, Kusijanović describes Stane as resilient. Rooted in—very much real-life patriarchy—Stane’s onscreen story was inspired by Miu Miu womenswear. “The collection felt so masculine. It was like an armour”, discloses the director, describing its layers eliciting sensuality and provocation from underneath. “I thought, we need to have this arc. Where a woman wears an armour, sheds it and reclaims her power.”

Asked whether music can do something that words cannot—a reference to the cinematic centerpiece—Danica Curcic (Stane) says: “Definitely. Movement can.” Curcic—a fellow Balkan-born but Copenhagen-bred actress—had previously worked with Kusijanović on her Caméra d'Or-winning debut, Murina (2021). “Surrounding myself with people who have a good ear and a good rhythm, I think that is the beat and the heart of the film”, Kusijanović says.

Tasked to create a short film using the latest Miu Miu womenswear collection, Kusijanović layered the themes together with costume designer Amela Bakšić, who picked Stane’s iconic yellow dress. “It’s a great contrast to the construction world. It’s very light, very feminine,” comments Curcic.

Touching upon the intergenerational outlook, Kusijanović says: “Change is not only on men. It’s also on women who are raising men. […] Everyone has to be invited to change.”

Stane is now streaming on MUBI and Miu Miu digital channels.

[domascaini]

Blog 5 - CMS/PL 348

Necropolitics and Becoming the Black of the world

What is sovereignty?

Sovereignty is a political concept that refers to dominant power or supreme authority.

Well, reading “The becoming black of the world”, by Achille Mbembe we see a shift to the actual concept of the word sovereignty from its root. Achille Mbembe is a Cameroonian political theorist and historian, and he describes that modernity believes a liberal democracy is the right to self-determination of free people is limited by their reason. Mbembe explains this shift through the history of slavery, by giving new forms of theories on biopower and biopolitics that are linked to the concept of necropolitics. Necropolitics is simply taking a distance from a traditional concept, and in his essay, he talks about the relationship between power, sovereignty, and the state's ability to determine who has the right to live and who has the right to die. In the modern state of the sovereign, the state has the power to decide who must die and who must live, either by depriving them of access to their basic resources or by simply convicting them of a crime they did not commit. Primarily for people of color, minority groups, and social determinants, have been a big problem in determining the concept of sovereignty. 

Furthermore, the reading goes on with Michel Foucault’s idea of biopower, which is the sovereignty used over life. Meaning that in life over which power took full control, an authority can rule over all aspects of organic life. Therefore, state power's control extends also to power over the physical bodies of a population, such as through deciding on abortion. Therefore, state power also influences a population's physical bodies, such as through the ability to decide whether a female can or cannot have an abortion. These rules could have had the potential to either encourage procreation or regulate your living body. Even though today in modernity we have such “freedom”, the biopower exercised can be seen as the state interfering with civilian rights. For instance, when Covid-19 spread, the entire world was put on lockdown, which caused a significant amount of debate over whether the governments were attempting to take control or whether the situation was legitimate. The total isolation of many areas of the globe was viewed as an advantage by the authorities in gaining control of the people's rights; in this instance, we can see the similarity of a sovereign.

A timetable for Covid-19 lockdown restriction imposed for everyone:

Moreover, to define necropolitics or necropower is the power over death, that focuses on death. Then biopower and biopolitics place more stress on life or the living.

To continue talking about slavery history and to make clear these concepts, Mbembe gives many examples of necropolitics that happen throughout history: the Nazi concentration camps and African American slavery. Through these two examples, these people were inhuman, because people experiencing these events were treated as if they were not the human body but animals. Nazi camps were in conditions where no human could ever live. During African slavery, black people were treated and used as human objects, for commodities. Still, today due to enslavement, we live in a society where some people's lives are valued more highly than others, and the bodies of those who are seen as disposable are subjected to abuse and exploitation. Countless incidents and events have taken place, such as the Black Lives Matter movement, which aims to end the killing of black people. Or could be the mass incarceration of people and the infliction of abuse or other inhumane acts upon them, to make these people do bad things because they were bad before. The Palestinian people are being executed on their land. All the genocide events are the definition of necropolitics.

To deepen the concept of necropolitics, we also must look at the mention of Giorgio Agamben in Mbembe's essay. Agamben’s concepts explain the ‘State of exception’ and of ‘Bare life’. The ‘State of exception’ is the extralegal exercise of surveillance, detention, and torture performed by democratic countries. In these states of exception, rules of law are suspended by neo-liberal democracies. To give a simpler idea it means that the law of protection of citizens against the State’s violation is removed temporarily, and the authorities are allowed to decide to make citizens do what they want. People living in a state of exception have no political status and are reduced to bare life

Mbembé's concept of  "The becoming black of the world". Ties to the concept of in today’s society being drawn to technology, or per half being under the power of technology. This is seen as the new form of capitalism, according to Mbembé, the condition of being subjugated to other people's willingness extended to everyone. This new biopower is the outcome of the Nazi’s extermination material, which created a serialization of technologies that allow killing. With this strategy of using a machine to kill people and not a person itself would do the actions it was less remorseful. We can see examples in history where authorities use a machine to compute the killing for them. Well, going back to the Nazis they used a gas chamber to trick people and suffocate them there, or during the French Revolution, the guillotine machine would decapitate a person's head.

And in the 20th century, we can see a new technology divide completely, “nonhuman” actions that make the action for you. Meaning the introduction of drones. Drones are high-tech machines with an algorithm pre-established to do what they must do and make action without an invasion on terrene or being seen. Drone use is not as bad as killing in person, because in theory, whoever is doing the action is not invading the country, therefore there is no need for war. This is defined as vertical sovereignty, which is giving to another country through air space, and not touching the ground because if they had done such a thing through the ground then it would have been war. As a result, we see the development of technology as a new form of sovereignty that allows people to exert control if they so choose without truly taking over the land. However, there are many other ways in which the digital sphere is used to arm people without even realizing it. For example, with the boom of TikTok being a Chinese-made application, the US had suspicions of being spied on by the Chinese government and made their way to take information from the US and use it against them. Therefore, the US banned the use of TikTok for those who worked in the governed range. TikTok also collects people’s data without the user knowing, and this is why governments are uncertain of having this app in their nations. This system could be considered vertical sovereignty because it's another way of infiltration into a nation without using physical force because it's done through the digital sphere.