#pls rb...validate my hour or work
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lesbianakaashi-archived · 7 years ago
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a while back i said i was going to write out all the reasons i don't like melanie martinez and her music. well, here it is. everything is under the cut, but beware, this includes ableism along with abuse, suicide, and csa/rape mentions. also, uncensored slurs. be safe!
ill be going by songs, starting w the crybaby album, because i don't have much to say about melly herself. thatll be at the end. this is HEAVILY opinion based, so take it all w a grain of salt. 
- crybaby is ok to me, nothing super terrible. 
- dollhouse is the first song i don't like; it presents nothing new, because the whole "abuse/other bad things wrapped in a cute package" thing isn't a new concept. i also don't like the line "i see things that nobody else sees" because yes, while crybaby is a character, shes not said to be psychotic or have hallucinations, and i feel like that line was just thrown in to make her sound "crazy".
- sippy cup is like dollhouses terrible older sibling tbh. within the first verse, we have an ableist slur and plastic surgery shaming. real nice. also "silly girl, with silly boys" just rubs me The Wrong Way(tm). then theres what sounds like romantiziation of eating disorders, which as far as I know, mel doesnt suffer from (if youve heard otherwise, please send me an ask abt it!) sippy cup is basically saying "bad is still bad even if its presented in a good way!!!!" and its just...not good. 
- i don't have any strong feelings about carousel. tbh, it has a nice tune and its actually one of the few decent songs on crybaby. 
- confession time: i LOVE alphabet boy. if i had to pick a melanie song to listen to, itd be alphabet boy. its really catchy and fun to sing (plus im a slut for alliteration,) and i don't have many personal complaints. though i do detest the whole "baby" theme she has, esp in this song. 
- soap is just...eh to me. i really don't like the causal suicide line as someone whos attempted So Many times, and the whole fake-deep thing just amounts to "i fucked up, i feel terrible". 
- training wheels is a CLUSTERFUCK. as i said, i hate the "baby" theme, when mixed with adult stuff. this song is undoubtably about sex and relationships, but shes using things kids can relate to and its just...feels bad, scoob. "i love everything you do, when you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit i do" is a one-two punch of emotional abuse implications and a slur. its just...all around bad. 
- pity party is...decent. the "im laughing, im crying, it feels like im dying" lines are suspect to me, because they sound very bpd-ish and idk how i feel abt that. 
- tag youre it is just. BAD. mel herself had the ADACITY to say its supposed to be ~whimiscal~, such with crybaby being kidnapped by the "big bad wolf". that may be the story, but putting a song about your childlike character being kidnapped and implied to be raped? is so fucked up.
- milk and cookies is also fucking terrible. "im fucking crazy, need my perscription filled" nice job implying all csa survivors are crazy, melly babe. gg. 
- i dont have strong feelings abt pacify her. just that its some infantilizing bs as usual.
- mrs potato head is somewhat decent? i dont have strong feelings about it either 
- mad hatter, and i know everyone and their mom have said this, is an ableism filled fucker. from the first lines, when i first heard it, i thought it was a harmless alice in wonderland inspired song. cute! and then the next lines played. im gonna go line by line and say what implications/statements bother me. "now i'm peeling the skin off my face" as someone who has pretty severe skin picking issues, this rubs me the wrong way. its basically just there to make crybaby ~weird~ "'cause i really hate being safe" oh, bc safe is SUCH a bad thing to be? this is just a bad line. "the normal, they make me afraid, the crazies, they make me feel sane" holy ableism batman! the normal? like psychotic people arent ~normal~? also, i love (sarcasm) how she says "the crazies". mel, honey, you have no grounds to say that. "i'm nuts, baby, i'm mad / craziest friend that you've ever had / you think i'm psycho, you think i'm gone / tell the psychiatrist something is wrong" do you think mel even thought about how fucking assholeish and downright insensitive she sounds abt mental illness right here? because she sounds like she did one (1) google search about psychosis and wrote down everything she could. "oh, off the bend, entirely bonkers / you like me best when i'm off my rocker / tell you a secret, i'm not alarmed / do what if i'm crazy? the best people are" okay, so, im 99% sure mel is NOT psychotic in the fucking slightest. hey babe, youre not ~crazy~ and you dont get to appropriate our oft reclaimed slurs. this is just. so insensitive and fucked up. 
- cake isn't that bad. i find myself humming it a lot. 
- teddy bear is decent as well, kinda edgy tho. 
- now for the only one of her unreleased songs that bothers me: a million men. (major csa tw for that song) she wrote it after watching a documentuary about sex trafficking and csa, and while its not bad lyrically and a few lines are relatable to my csa survivor ass, but shes not a csa survivor, and i don't feel like she should have written and sang it. 
- my personal problem with melanie is that she has her "crybaby" image all the time. shes tweeted saying she broke her nail trying to open her sippy cup, she poses half naked in bibs with a pacifier, etc. it just feels wrong to me, as i had my childhood and innocence and childhood things torn from me and sexualized very early on in life. 
- so thats all! i may or may not update this if anything else comes up. thank you for reading this far. 
(please be aware that i do not hate melanie as a person, and that i don't wish her any ill will. i just have problems with things shes done. and i am not saying you need to drop her music completely; just be critical and use your brains. and be respectful if someone says it bothers them!)
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defdreamz · 4 years ago
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keep me warm. bambam.
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authors note. if you like my works then pls rb with nice words or even send an ask! validating my works can make my day.
authors note x2. i love bambam sm omg- also this is lowkey in celebration that got7 now own got7 :))))
word count. 308.
content. sub!bambam, dom!reader, cockwarming, i guess this is amab...? the reader uses no pronouns.
summary. bambam wants to try something new, but it backfires.
bambam whines from above you, squirming constantly only to whimper and remember his place when the top of your cock presses against his sweet spot.
“haven’t we been doing this for /hours/? fuck me,” he whines pathetically, rocking against you needily where the both of you are connected at the base of your cock. “we have indeed /not/ been doing this for an hour. it’s been 30 minutes at most, bammie. you can take it, can’t you?” you ask, letting your hands roam the junction between his thighs and his hip.
he only whines some more, letting his face flush that flows down to his chest. his cock leaks pathetically against his lower stomach. it’s red and throbs, aching and ready to cum.
his eyes water, and his cheeks puff. he trembles, too. “‘m so full and-and i’m so hard-“ he whimpers, hands reaching out to grab at anything he can. you push your hips into his once and he gasps, chewing on his lips as tears roll slowly down his cheeks.
you wipe them away with your thumbs, calming him. “hey, hey, do you want me to pull out?” you ask, concerned for his sudden onslaught of tears. “/no/! it’s just- so /good/-“ he breathes, melting just a bit in the way you hold him.
you pull him down for a kiss, locking your lips with his and letting your tongues swirl around in a rhythm that has become unique to the both of you. he pulls away first, breathless with an airy smile on his face.
“a little while longer, bambi, and i’ll give you what you want,” you tell the male, letting him rock against you. “i’ll fuck you until your only thought is me.” you finish, watching him shiver at the thought. “please.” he begs once again, against your ear as he steadies himself.
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astrxealis · 2 years ago
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aster <3333 firstly, hello!!
i just wanted to say i read the tags to your rb of my fic and i wanted to say that i’m really happy you enjoyed so much!! and please don’t worry about me not liking the req or worry that i didn’t want to because i had a lot of fun! it was a bit out of what i usually write and writing sumi is so new, but i really loved working on it and so thankful that you sent it in / are supporting me :) i’ve been reading your tags a billion times over for like,,,an hour lol kind words like yours really motivate me to keep writing and reassure me that my characterization is at least decent lol
i also just want to say that i understand where you’re coming from, in terms of the topic of the contents of your tags. i won’t get into it bc i understand that it’s def a personal thing, but i can relate to it. i’d interact with my mutuals more, but my motivation and social battery is so low that it’s hard to do so through things that aren’t likes and tags / reblogs. there’s nothing to feel bad or anything of the sort about. everything you feel is always 100% valid /gen
EVE !! <333 hello to you too hehe >.<
wahh np at all, i’m glad though that they made you happy!! T^T and good to know, i was a bit worried but i’m glad it was fun ;D for real, that’s amazing to know aaaa thank you to you too ofc <33
and yeah ... :(( it’s unfortunate you relate too, but that’s humanity so ^^; o7 thank you so much for your reassurance!! i do really appreciate it, and will try my best to remember that my feelings are valid TwT <3 ( and also, in regards to your motivation and battery, hugs !!! pls rmbr too that is valid, yes >.< )
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havethetimeofyourstyles · 4 years ago
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Chapter Three. Mind Your Business
the scene is set in 1956, a young man moved to Hollywood to follow his dreams of becoming an actor. But with little money and a struggle to keep his apartment, he is approached by a man who offers him a job at Sweetland
a/n: decided to title this chapter ‘mind your business’ because no ones sexuality is anyone’s business! dont assume, make fun of, invalidate anyone’s sexuality because it’s not funny nor is it cute. YOUR SEXUALITY MATTERS AND ITS BEAUTIFUL
SERIES MASTERLIST | JOIN THE TAGLIST | chapter word count: 8.9k
warnings: biphobia (it’s the 1950s)
TALK TO ME ABOUT CN! let me know your thoughts!
pls rb to share! <3
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It was Friday, two weeks later as you were sitting with your girls at Mel’s Drive in as you three talked and ate. 
Frances was talking about her date that she went on last weekend with the guy that worked with them; as she did assume he was going to ask her out, which he did. She was practically gushing over him as you and Alice listened as you ate, both being happy for her. 
“He was the sweetest guy! Took me to a drive in and after we walked on the beach! It was so fun, and after he kissed me-” You and Alice gasped, interrupting her story. “On my cheek! Jeez, you two are something. But it was the sweetest kiss, and ugh! I just want him to ask me out again.” 
“The next time you see him, maybe mention that you’d like to go out again, or invite him for a bite to eat,” you told her, and she nodded. “So, Alice, what about you and that guy you were seeing?” She changed the subject. 
Alice scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Ugh, I’m not seeing him anymore. He can never make up his mind if he wants to take me out on a date or just wants to continue fucking me, so I dropped him,” 
“Good for you,” you say, taking a bite of your toast. Alice was always one for being decisive and assertive. Just like you, she doesn’t take shit from anyone, but she’s ten times more intense than you. But overall, you love her for it. 
“Yeah, although, I’m having eyes for someone right now. Behind you,” she only told you, since you were sitting across from the two. 
You slowly turned around, trying not to make it obvious that you’re turning around. And what you saw was something shocking, and it made you have a cough attack as you choked on your toast. 
“Oh my god, doll, are you okay?” Frances asked. You grabbed your napkin, hysterically coughing into it, and Alice handed you your cup of water. 
Practically everyone around your booth was staring at you oddly, wondering if you were okay or not, and once you finally calmed down and the piece of bread washed down your throat, you took a deep breath. 
“You sure you’re okay?” Alice asked. 
“Yeah, uh, that guy your ogling…” 
“What about him?” 
“That’s Harry.” Alice and Frances’ eyes widened, immediately moving their heads to take another look at him as their jaws dropped. 
“That’s Harry?!” Alice asked in shock.
“Like, as in the Harry?!” Frances added. 
“Yup. The one and only.” You watched your friends practically stare at the guy you’ve been thinking about for the past two weeks. 
“Oh my god, he’s hotter in person than you described,” Alice swooned. “Sorry, for hitting on your man, doll.” 
“Eh, don’t worry about it. If he hit on you dolls, I wouldn’t even be mad because I’d hit on you both too,” you teasingly winked at them, and they both raised their eyebrows in a flirty way
Another thing you loved about your trio was that you were able to make those kinds of remarks without them thinking it was weird. You were truly grateful for friends that accepted your bisexuality, or else you would’ve been in shambles. And besides, who doesn’t hit and flirt with their best friends? 
“I can’t believe that’s him!” Frances exclaimed. 
“Yeah, he’s handsome, isn’t he?” They both nodded, excitedly. 
“Well, are you gonna go up to him?” Alice wondered. You turned around again to really get a look at him. He was facing you, sitting across a lady as they both chatted. He hadn’t seen you, and you were thankful for it because you didn’t want him to see the hint of sadness in your eyes because of the hint of jealousy you had in your body. 
You shook your head, “Hell no. He’s obviously on a date.” 
“You don’t know that!” Frances said optimistically. You really didn’t know. It was a bit after four p.m, so you didn’t know if it was for work or if he was actually on a date. Either option, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Of course, you couldn’t stop him from working, but if it was anything outside of work, the thought made your heart sink. 
“Well you’re gonna have to suck it up because I just paid and he’s sitting right by the door,” Alice said, gathering her purse. You closed your eyes for a moment, preparing yourself to simply just walk by him, and you hoped he wouldn’t see you as you were doing so. 
You walked behind the two, following them to the exit of the diner as you looked at Harry the whole time. He hadn’t noticed you at first, but until you walked past by his table, he definitely saw you. 
As you two made eye contact, it was like you were sucked in; never for a second breaking contact with him as his green eyes captured yours. You noticed his face perk up, smiling widely. 
“Hey,” he greeted. 
“Hi,” you said with a smile as you stopped walking. Alice and Frances heard you causing them to stop walking as well. 
“How are you? Haven’t seen you in a while,” he said; the person sitting across from him was completely forgotten as the woman watched the interaction between you two as she stirred her coffee. 
“Yeah. Uh, two weeks,” you nodded, silently cursing yourself as you seemed like a complete idiot for keeping track. 
You took the time to subtly look over to the person on the other side of the booth, and saw a very gorgeous looking woman who was probably in her late twenties. She was tan and had long locks of red hair, and her outfit was quite cute as well. And if you weren’t swooning over Harry, you would definitely be swooning over the lady in front of you. 
“Yup, two weeks,” he confirmed. 
In all honesty, he’s missed you. You two had only met once, but he’s missed being around you—your presence comforted him. 
“I should get going. Have a lovely rest of your day, you two,” you told Harry and his date before walking out with Alice and Frances. 
Your face remained neutral as you walked out as the girls followed. Once you were outside, they both put an arm around you, comforting you. 
“I’m sorry, doll,” Frances said sadly. 
“I mean, at least you weren’t too attached, right?” Alice said, somehow convincing you. 
“Yeah…” you agreed, but in all honesty, you were already attached. You’ve known him for tops, two hours, and in those two hours, you came to the conclusion that you really like him. That may make you a bit crazy, but you couldn’t help how you feel. Harry’s charming and sweet and humble. How could you not fall for him? 
“It’s okay! Let’s have a dolls night? We can watch a movie at my house and maybe a sleepover?” Frances suggested, and Alice nodded her head eagerly. 
“I’m up for both, what do you say doll?” They both looked at you with pleading eyes, wanting you to agree to have a night with them to simply take your mind off Harry. And you wanted that too; to just be with your girls and out of your parent’s home. 
“Both sounds lovely,” you agreed, and they squealed in excitement as you three walked to your car, hoping your mind gets a break from thinking about the man inside of the diner. 
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Harry was sitting in front of a woman that didn’t really spark his interest. Don’t get him wrong, she was very stunning in every way, but he’d noticed that you really set the bar for him. 
After your little cloud nine adventure together two weeks ago, Harry had three customers within those weeks. One of them was married, so they only stuck to oral as she claimed that “it’s not fully cheating if I don’t go all the way,” to which Harry was baffled by her explanation. The next one was a young man, probably the same age as Harry or a little younger, and he told him that he was curious what it was like to have sex with another man. So, Harry fucked him and met all his expectations, to which he got a very decent tip from him. The next one was a woman his age that works at a fancy restaurant, and told him that it was her only day off and decided that she needed to get laid, and of course, Harry helped her. 
But those three encounters did not compare to you. He mentally slapped himself thinking he was crazy that he was even comparing others to each other, but he couldn’t help it. Since the very first time he saw you, he thought you were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. And it wasn’t just the way you felt around his raging hard on, but it was the way you talked to him and the way you listened to what he had to say. He felt important and valid when he was around you because that’s how you treated him. 
And Daren can throw so many women and men his way, but Harry’s come to the conclusion that you’re always going to be on his mind, despite only knowing each other for less than a day, he was completely whipped. 
“Harry?” Jeannette, the woman from across from he said. He broke out of trance and softly smiled at her. “Are you okay? You kind of blanked out.” 
“Oh, yeah. I am. Did you want to get going?” He suggested, and she perked up at that, nodding her head excitedly. 
Harry and Jeannette headed over to her apartment where they talked for about a minute or two before she inched closer to him, giving him a kiss to his cheek. Harry turned his head slightly, and she captured his lips against hers. 
As they kissed, her hand traveled to his crotch and he was taken by surprise as he slightly jumped as she rubbed the front of his pants. Usually, he would be turned on, but there was a sort of rushness he felt through her actions that he wasn’t into, and he was sure she felt it in the kiss he gave her. And he wasn’t even hard. 
The kiss he gave her was one that had no effort, but kissing just to kiss and going with the flow as she was the one in control of it. 
“I-I’m sorry,” he said as he pulled back. Jeannette’s lipstick was all over the place and he’s sure that there’s some on his lips as well. 
“Is something wrong?” She asked concerningly. 
“Uh, I…yeah. Can we just take it slow?” He asked hesitantly, and she nodded her head slowly. 
“Sure,” she said as she waited for him to make a move or say something. 
But Harry was lost in his mind as he thought about you. And he knows he shouldn’t when there’s a gorgeous girl right in front of him, but the occurring thought of you washed throughout his mind and there was no effort in stopping it. 
He thought back to the day when he met you up to when you two had sex. He loved the way you built up the sexual tension and the way you teased him into sexual agony. The way you would smirk at him when he would do something sexy or when you would participate in his playful banter. And he couldn’t forget about the slight dirty talk that came out of your mouth, to which he knew there’s more from where the words came from, but since it was your first time together, there were only a few words. But those words were enough to cum twice. 
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Jeannette suddenly said, and Harry’s brows raised in confusion. 
“I’m sorry?” 
“The girl from the diner. There’s something between you two, I can tell,” she explained. 
Harry chuckled, scratching his head as she read him very well. “I-I mean there’s nothing going on, but she was a customer and-”
“And you like her,” she finished for him. Harry slowly nodded, feeling guilty that someone else had to tell him. 
“Yeah—I’m sorry. I know you came to the shop for a good time, and I’m sorry I couldn’t deliver,” he apologizes with a small frown on his face, and she waved it off. 
“It’s alright. I could tell she’s into you also, but I don’t know, by her wandering eyes, I may be wrong.” 
Harry looked at her confused, “What do you mean?” 
“I mean, she was checking me out. She had her eyes on me when she was talking to you, and I looked at her as well—saw her eyes go up and down on me. Think she might be into girls too?” She said casually as she got up and walked over to her bar cart, grabbing herself a drink. 
“Oh, uh, did you have a problem with that? Her checking you out?” Harry wondered, and if her answer wasn’t the one he was looking for, then the conversation would end badly. 
“Well, yeah!” And Harry got his answer. “She was checking me out, Harry. Had some flirty eyes when she looked at me, and it made me uncomfortable.” 
Harry controlled his temper, answering her with a cooled tone. “I’m sure she didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. She was probably just wondering who I was with.” 
“Still. I know when someone’s gay, and she definitely is. Do you really want to be with someone like that? One who can’t fully give themselves to you? It’s not a real thing,” she rolled her eyes, and Harry was infuriated. 
“Not a real thing? Don’t speak about her like that! So what if she likes men and women? Her sexuality has nothing to do with you nor is it your business,” he snapped at her, fully angry and annoyed. 
“Woah, why are you getting so mad? I’m just saying-”
“No, what you’re saying is that you’re assuming her sexuality, and also invalidating it. That’s so low, very low,” Harry got up, heading for the door. 
“Well, don’t cry when she doesn’t want you and has eyes on another woman!” 
“You’re saying a lot of bullshit that doesn’t make sense, but gladly, fuck off!” With his last words, he slams the front door, huffing all the way out of the apartment complex. 
He’s never felt so angry with anyone nor had he snapped like that at anyone, especially women. His mother has always taught him to be kind and respectful to everyone. “But if there’s something that they said was wrong, I expect you to stand up for those who aren’t there to stand up for themselves and people who don’t deserve hatred whatsoever,” his mother would say. And that’s exactly what he did. He stood up for you, even if you weren’t, for the Eric and Mack who is gay and bisexual, and for everyone else whose sexualities are being hated on because ‘it’s not the right way.’ 
When he was walking towards Hollywood, he realized he was in Downtown; way too far for his liking to walk back. But luckily, he had some spare change for the railway. 
He arrived at Sweetland a little past five, and Daren smiled, but also wondered why he was back earlier than usual. 
“Sorry, Daren. The customer I had today was just…” he trailed off, not knowing how to put what had happened into words. 
“What happened, kid?” 
“Well, it was going well—kinda. We were at a diner, and went back to her place, kissed a little, but I wasn’t really into it, to be honest,” Harry said, and Daren chuckled. “She started saying things about gay people and how bisexuality isn’t real, and I just snapped.” 
Daren hadn’t said anything, and Harry was starting to feel anxious. He didn’t know if his boss was going to be mad because he didn’t get any tip, plus he made a customer angry. But Daren reacted the opposite and smiled. 
“I’m proud of you, boy,” he said, patting his shoulder. 
“Really? I’m sorry I didn’t get any money and didn’t do my job, but she was insulting people!” 
“Hey, I don’t care. What you did was right, and I’m glad you did it. Would’ve done the same thing, and leave them horny and to dry,” Daren laughed, and Harry joined. 
“Did it for Eric and Mack too,” Harry included. 
“They would be so grateful you stood up for them. Tough world out there, and it hurts that people can’t live freely,” Daren shook his head, feeling ashamed of how society is developing with discrimination and hatred. 
“I’ll clean up here,” Harry said, grabbing a broom from behind the storage door. He started to sweep up the dust and candy that’s fallen out of their jars. It was a long day for Harry, and it’s going to be even a longer one tomorrow. He’s got a day off from Sweetland for a couple of days, so that means he has to run down to the studio to try and be picked to be an extra or get a screen test. He sighed deeply, thinking about how chaotic it’s going to be tomorrow, and hopefully not be let down once again. 
“Hey, kid?” Harry perked up. “You said you weren’t into when you were smacking lips with that customer…why’s that?” 
Harry smirked, holding the broom in his arms as he spoke. “Well, there’s this girl…” 
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It was the usual ten a.m morning rush when folks would gather around in front of the gates of the studio, patiently waiting for two casting directors to come out and make their picks. 
He put on his best clothes; wearing a tan gridded trousers, a cream button down shirt with bottles printed on it, and on top of it, a red and yellow sweater vest. He was always a sucker for a stylish and comfy sweater vest; made him feel very professional along with fashionable. 
As he made his way through the crowd, trying to find Mikey, he found that many people were incredibly rude. They pushed and shoved him as he tried to squeeze in between him, and said some really harsh words. He knew he was ‘cutting’ them, but his friend was waiting for him up at the gates. 
“Hey, Mikey,” Harry greeted, and Mikey turned around, beaming his camera smile. 
“Harry! I’m so glad you’re here. They’re about to come out any second,” Mikey nudged him. 
“Do you think today’s the day?” Harry asked his friend hopefully. Mikey always had this sixth sense that he was able to feel the difference between the good and bad vibes from what they both manifested. And most of the time, It was either a blessing or curse to know. 
“Honestly…” he said suspensefully as Harry waited for, hopefully some good news. “I have a good feeling about this,” Mikey smiled, and Harry clapped his hands once, loudly. 
“That is the shit I like to hear,” Harry said excitedly, putting an arm around Mikey as the boys both smiled in anticipation. 
After a few minutes, the crowd spotted two people walking towards the gate as the guards opened them. The crowd of locals went wild, throwing their hands up as they screamed “pick me!” 
Again, Harry used his trick of smiling not too big and not too small to make him seem like he was trying too hard. The woman scanned through the crowd, glancing at the eager people. She pointed at the ones she wanted, usually picking about five or six people to bring with her on set; already picking five people. 
Once she glanced over to the area Harry was standing, looking over if she wanted to pick another one, but stuck with five. Everyone’s eagerness altered, frustrated that they weren’t picked. Harry’s expression turned into a sad one, wishing he wasn’t too hopeful when Mikey said his senses were telling him they were good. And just as he was about to leave, something struck the lady causing her to turn back around. 
Everyone in the front rows saw it, making them smile quickly at her. But Harry panicked because he thinks he’s looking right at him, despite the sunglasses. Harry softly smiled, in case she really was. And his day, possibly his life, changed when she lifted her hand and pointed right at him, gesturing to him to follow her. 
Harry was in complete shock, practically not even believing he was picked until Mikey physically pushed him towards the gate because the ladies and the rest were waiting. 
“Go on man! You got picked!” Mikey said excitedly, and Harry snapped out of his disbelief, beaming at his friend and kissing him on the forehead before walking inside the gates of Paramount Studios. 
He was so in awe of the whole atmosphere; the crew working on building sets, making props, wardrobe, the cameras—everything. He’s never seen the real thing up until now. But when he was picked to be an extra with Mikey when they had first met, they weren’t in front of cameras or a big set; they were part of the rehearsal act that included them being in a room with all the other actors, so this was a huge deal for Harry. 
When the ladies led the ‘picked ones’ to a room where the screenwriter, director, and producers sat, Harry felt his anxiety rise up again. He had no idea what was about to happen, but he made sure to do it with feeling and to give his best performance. 
“Alright, everyone. In my hand, I have the script of the upcoming movie we finally got approved of. I picked six of you by random to act out specific parts that I think will fit you,” the lady explained. Harry noticed that everyone in this industry was very fierce and strong willed. But he figured, they probably have to because this is a very serious job that has to do with entertaining the entire country. “Think of this as an audition to a movie—because it is. This is the real deal, kids. We’ve never done this before, only picking you all up to be extras, but since we have some small roles that need to be filled, this is your time to shine.” 
She grabbed a stack of scripts and handed it to the group. And when Harry felt the stack of papers that could possibly include one of his lines in a big movie, he felt like he was dreaming. He’s never held an entire script in his hands before, and god, he wished he would hold scripts for the rest of his life. 
“Each of your scripts has a sticky note on it that says the name of the character that I think suits you all, again, based on first glance. You will go to the lounge area, study your character and the general plot of the movie, and you will come back to audition for us. You don’t have to memorize it, but it is suggested. We just want you to get a feel of the character. You have an hour to do so,” she dismissed everyone as they walked out the door and to the lounge room. 
The room was like a movie theatre in some sorts; sofas lined up as people sat and talked about everything and anything. Harry picked a spot in the back, so no one would disturb him as he was buried in the script, studying the character he’s auditioning for. 
After thirty minutes of studying the plot and his character, he came to realize that the movie was a romance film. The classic story of a man falling for a woman, but the woman is hesitant. The casting director had assigned Harry to audition for the main character’s best friend. And when Harry found that out, he was ecstatic. The role obviously wasn’t the lead character, but it was pretty close. 
Harry took the rest of his time to memorize the highlighted lines. He knew he didn’t have to, but like the casting director said, it’s better to. And he’s very grateful for his memorization game that he’s had ever since he was younger; always memorizing lyrics to songs when only hearing it twice. 
With hushed mumbles of his lines, repeated saying it over and over again, he felt confident and he was ready. He had about ten minutes to go before it was time to go back to the room, but he decided to head over there already because he learned that you should always show them that you’re ready; it builds confidence in yourself and it’s always good to be early better than late. 
Harry waited outside of the room when an older lady approached him. 
“Harry, right?” The woman asked, and his head perked up, surprised one person even knew his name in this place. 
“Yeah, that’s me. And you are?” He asked politely, flashing her his million dollar smile. 
Always be nice to others; no matter how good you think you are, you never know where kindness will take you in life. 
“I’m Shareen. I’m not sure if you remember me, but I was at one of your auditions a few weeks ago,” she told him, handing him her hand to shake. Harry took it as his eyes widened, remembering the woman in front of him. She was an older woman--somewhere in her 60s. Harry noticed that she was wearing a barrette on her head, just like the last time he saw her; probably one of her staple pieces, which he thinks is lovely. Shareen had a friendly face as well; Harry not being intimidated by her like he is with the rest of them as she kindly smiled at him with bright eyes. 
“Ah, yes! I remember you. It’s lovely to meet you, officially. Also, love the barette you’re wearing,” he compliments honestly. 
“Oh, thank you, dear. Quite a favorite of mine.” Shareen felt nothing but giddiness when someone noticed her barrette. None of her coworkers rarely noticed it, so it made her happy when someone complimented her on it. 
“It looks wonderful on you,” he smiled, and she placed her hand on his arm. 
“You’re sweet. But I wanted to come by and introduce myself, and tell you that I think you did really well. It’s too bad one of the producers cut it way too short--I was eager to see what you could offer,” Shareen smiled softly, feeling bad for the young man in front of her. 
“Oh, thank you. That means a lot to me,” Harry smiled widely, feeling immensely grateful for someone from the industry to say something like that to him. He rarely gets told that he’s good at what he does, and for someone to say that to him means a ton. “But I’m happy to be getting another shot.” 
“Me too, dear. I just know you’ll do just great,” she patted his shoulders before walking into the room, leaving him to wait alone again. What she had told Harry had given him a boost in motivation; it encouraged him to keep going and to keep trying. And sometimes that’s all he needs--a boost of encouragement to tell him that he’s doing things right. That’s all what everyone needs. 
The other five people had gathered around next to Harry as they waited for another three minutes before they were called in. He took in everyone’s moods as he does, and controlled his breathing and nerves. Everyone was obviously very nervous--Harry was as well, considering this could possibly be a huge step in their careers. 
“Harry and Sky, please come in,” a man called out from the door. Sky was another actress that he assumed he would be auditioning with. She smiled softly at him before walking towards the room, Harry following. 
The room was even more intimidating than the first time. Five pairs of eyes stared at the two as they walked in and stood on the mark that was taped to the floor. 
“Alright, you two. You’ve studied your roles, and now it’s time to perform them. You will be auditioning for page 50.” Harry and Sky flipped to that page as they both studied it for a second. Feel free to use your scripts. But give us your best performance, okay?” One of the ladies said, and Harry and Sky nodded eagerly, nerves creeping up both of their skins. 
Harry glanced at Shareen, and found her smiling at him. The friendly face and smile had calmed him down a bit, remembering her words. After a minute of gathering their notepads, she spoke again. “And action!” 
Harry and Sky turned towards each other with scripts in their hands; Harry walking passed her, arms crossed so he wasn’t tempted to look down at his lines. “I just…they’re not right for each other!” He said. 
“They’re getting married--what can you do?” Sky acted out, a frustrated look on her face. 
“Stop it.” 
“What?” Sky scoffed. 
Harry grabbed her shoulders, according to the script, shaking her lightly and said, “Don’t you get it? We have to stop the wedding!” 
“You’re his best friend! How could you do that-”
“Because I’m in love with her!” Harry exclaimed
“No…” 
“Yes! I’m in love with her. We have to stop the wedding,” his eyes pleaded. 
“You’re insane, Nate.” Sky removed herself from his hold, walking away before Harry ran in front of her to stop her, grabbing her shoulders again. 
“Insane? Don’t tell me that you haven’t been thinking about it too. I know you’re in love with Matt,” Harry raised his brows. 
“That doesn’t mean we stop their wedding,” Sky scolded. 
“But that means we’ll be happy. Can’t you see that?” 
“And cut!” 
Harry and Sky broke out of character. Their faces returned back to normal as they weren’t two stressed out adults who were planning to ruin their best friend’s wedding. Half of the table clapped for them, Shareen, of course, being one of them. 
“Wonderful job, you two,” Shareen said with a delighted smile. “We just need your contact information just in case, and you’re free to go.” 
Once Harry gave them his contact information, which was simply his home phone, he walked out of the studio with a big smile on his face. He had no idea what the outcome would be with all of this, but he was proud of himself for getting through it, and he thought he did a wonderful job this time. 
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“Catherine, I know you can lift your leg up higher than that!” You teased one of your students, giving them an encouraging smile. Catherine lifted her leg up all the way to her head, and you clapped for her. “There you go!” 
It was your Monday ballet basics class as little five to seven year olds were spread out, and working on the little number you made up for them. You were exhausted from the long hours of class and plus, it was eleven in the morning, seeing as you were up since seven. But you had an hour left to go before you get to go home, and have a nice bath and a house all to yourself. 
Your father was at work, thankfully not going to be home until later in the night, and your mother was helping her friend with a charity foundation. And an empty house and a relaxing bath that will probably end up with you touching yourself, was calling your name. 
You haven’t been laid since the night you and Harry had sex, and the most you’ve been doing since then was pleasuring yourself. There was just simply no sexual interest when you looked at others, and you may have to just curse Harry out for ruining your sexual life for you, but you were fine getting yourself off. 
As you watched your class run through the routine, you felt a presence behind you, causing you to turn around and see Tyler smiling at you. Tyler was one of the few guys who taught ballet, and on Mondays, he taught the ages of eight to twelve in the morning; the same time as you. 
“Hi, Tyler.” 
“Hey. Are you almost done with the class?” He asked. 
“Yeah. About 40 minutes left--why aren’t you in class?” You asked, figuring he had about the same time left as you, and wondered why he wasn’t with his students.
“I dismissed them early. It’s Monday, the hardest day of the week. But I was wondering if you’d like to get some lunch after your class ends? I’m free for the rest of the day,” he asked you hopefully. 
It wasn’t like you didn’t like Tyler because you thought he was really nice and friendly. When you two had met, he asked you out for dinner, but you were with Chris at the time, so being a loyal girlfriend that you were, you said no, to which he understood. When he somehow found out that you and Chris broke up, he asked again, and you told him honestly that you didn’t want to date nor did you want to go out, and he understood again. But up until now, it was constant questions of asking you on a date and the constant rejection of you saying no. It was clear he couldn’t take a hint. 
“Oh, uhm, I was hoping to be alone today…” you scratched your neck awkwardly. 
“Gotcha,” he nodded his head. “But another question, why do you never want to go out with me?”
“Tyler, I think you’re a really nice guy and I’ve noticed you have some certain eyes for me ever since we met, but I’m just not interested in you. And I hope you understand that,” you told him honestly, but ultimately feeling bad that you even had to tell him that. 
You heard him scoff and saw him roll his eyes, “Unbelievable.” You saw him start to pace, and you were afraid that he would snap in front of your students, so you stopped the music, telling them to take 5, and brought him out to the hall. 
“What is your problem?” You asked confusingly.
“You think you’re the shit, don’t you?” His voice started to raise.
“No, I don’t actually.” 
“You do though! Think you’re all high and mighty just because you’re a rich bitch, but guess what? You’re not!” 
“I never thought I was, but okay,” you said sarcastically, completely annoyed that you have to put up with this dumb arguement. 
“No, you do. Just because you like men and women, you think you can just get anyone?” You looked at him amusingly; you think it’s funny he says that because he’s been begging you to go out on a date with him. “What? You’re secret’s out.” 
“Never really kept it a secret, and I’m happy about that,” you entertained him as he began to grow more frustrated, but you were completely over this conversation as you were never going to give him the satisfaction of snapping at him, so he could possibly tell people that you weren’t all what you seemed. 
Before you reached for the door to your classroom, you turned around one last time. “Hey.” Tyler turned around like a kid who just got scolded, which only added to your amusement. “Feel free to spread that secret of mine, yeah? Makes me proud to be who I am.” 
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Your original plan was to go home after class and have a nice day to yourself, but you found yourself parked in front of Sweetland, debating with yourself whether you should go in or not. 
You’ve been sitting in your car for a good 10 minutes under the sun, and your debate meter is pointing to yes because it’s scorching hot in July in California. But not only your body melting from the heat that your debate meter is green on yes, but also wanting to see Harry. 
It’s been a few days since you last saw him at the diner, and it was no secret that you missed him, but seeing his face after two weeks made you realize that you truly missed him. So you made the conscious decision to get out of your car and enter Sweetland. 
When you opened the door, you stumbled into someone who was pushing the door out, but you beat him to it, causing him to fall forward slightly. 
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Once the man regained his balance, his eyes met yours, and he smiled. “Oh, Harry.” It was the same man that you were at the shop for, and you couldn’t be more happy to see him. 
“H-Hi,” he said nervously, running his ringed clad hand through his disheveled curls. 
“Are you off of work right now?” 
“No, I didn’t work today actually. But we’re still open, so you could go inside.” A hint of pain was felt in his chest when he said those words; wanting to be the one to help you and not one of his coworkers. 
“Oh…I was actually looking for you,” you smiled, and Harry’s eyes widened. 
“R-Really?” He asked surprisingly, and you nodded. “I’m not working though, I just came by to get my paycheck.” 
“Yeah, but I was wondering if we could maybe go out for lunch? That’s if you’re free though.” A hopeful smile was brought onto your face and your innocent eyes looked at him, making it unbelievably hard for Harry to say no, not like he wanted to. 
“I’d love to!” He said a little too excitedly, so he toned it down a bit. You chuckled at his lifted mood. “Where would you like to go?” 
“Swinger’s isn’t too far from here, if you’d like to check that place out? Heard their waffles and milkshakes are to die for,” you mentioned, trying to convince him at the thought of food. 
“Didn’t have to mention waffles—already wanted to go with ya,” he smirked, teasing you as he read your mind while you were trying to convince him. He earned a giggle from you as you walked to the driver side of your car as he walked up to the passenger side. “Ah, missed Rosie,” he said as he got in. 
“Rosie or me?” You bantered, starting your car up. 
“It’s a close tie between you two, to be honest. Although, Rosie might be winning,” he played back. Your jaw dropped dramatically, slapping his chest playfully. 
“Well, what if I say we could share a milkshake? Would I earn points then?” You leaned in a tad bit, asking something so innocent but your time was saying the opposite. 
“Do I get to choose the flavor?” 
“The choice is all yours, honey.” 
“Let’s get there in one piece and maybe I’ll decide then, yeah?” He said, ending the bacon and forth teasing. You giggled as you put your car in drive, and drove off to Swinger’s.
The booth was a cushioned, checkered print seat, but it wasn’t as comfortable as Mel’s, albeit, you’re a bit biased because you’ve been going to Mel’s ever since you were younger, so you couldn’t compare the two. But it was a lovely diner either way. 
Sitting in front of Harry was a bit of a dream. You’d imagined meeting him again over and over without it leading to sex, and the simplicity of how the reality of it turned out to be made you happy. 
You and Harry talked about simple likes and dislikes as a way to ease into getting to know each other. You found out that he prefered mint chip over cookies n’ cream, and to say you were disappointed was an understatement when he ordered you both a mint chip milkshake to share. 
“What? It’s flavorful! Not your usual,” he argued playfully. 
“But cookies n’ cream is just a staple. You can’t go wrong with that,” you raised your brows, knowing you were right and he knew it too. 
“I mean you’re right, but mint chip is good! We’ll get cookies n’ cream the next time,” he told you, putting a truce on the debate, but you ignored the truce as your heart fluttered multiple times at the words ‘next time’ and you wanted to do pirouettes from excitement. “Okay, okay. Pancakes or waffles?” 
“You can’t pick between the two,” you simply put it. 
“That’s a very easy answer though. It’s waffles,” he said. 
Just as you two discussed how you couldn’t choose between the two because you had to be in a certain mood for both, your food had arrived; the aroma of freshly made waffles hit your senses, making your mouth water. 
“So…” you started, sipping the milkshake with your straw. Harry’s head lifted, giving you a smile, encouraging you to continue. “How was your date on Friday?” You asked hesitantly, not really wanting to know if it went well. 
“Uh, not so good…” 
“Oh?” Now you were intrigued. You tried to contain a smile from beaming out by pulling in your lips together, but your eyes said it all. And Harry read your expression, knowing you were happy with what he said. “What happened? If you don’t mind me asking?” 
“Oh, uhm-”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you said, noticing his hesitation. 
“I do. I just don’t know how to put it,” Harry nervously scratched his head as you told him to take his time. “So she was actually a customer from the shop,” he mentioned, and you gulped, waiting for him to continue. “She wanted to grab a bite to eat before we go back to hers, then we saw you, and I was just so lost in thought of you that I wasn’t paying attention to her that she noticed, so I suggested we just go back to hers. We got there and she immediately started making out with me and placing her hand on my dick, which kind of startled me because I wasn’t really hard or turned on nor was I into it,” Harry explained. 
“Can I ask why you weren’t into it?” You asked, somewhat knowing the reason, but wanting to hear it from him. 
“You. I was thinking of you the whole time, and she also sensed that. And then…” he stopped talking, like he didn’t want to tell you anything. 
“Take your time, or you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” you said calmly, having no idea if something bad had happened during their time together, and you were a bit pissed but you didn’t want to force him into telling you. 
He took a deep breath, controlling his breathing. “We stopped, and she assumed that you were the reason why I wasn’t into it, and she was correct, but then she started to say things how you were into both men and women, saying how weird that was because you wouldn’t give yourself to one person or some shit like that, and by then I was completely off the rails--pissed.” 
“She said that?” You asked with no emotion behind your words, and he nodded. 
“Said it was because you were checking her out at the diner and it wasn't a real thing to like two genders or some shit. I was proper livid,” he shook his head, still in disbelief that he came across a person like that. You only nodded your head slowly, trying to take everything in. Plus, this was not how you imagined coming out to Harry. “But told her to fuck off, and how rude it was to one, assume someone’s sexuality. And two, say that it’s not a real thing. Then I left.” 
Your eyes softened as you looked at him; a crease in his forehead made you reach across the table and smooth it out with your thumb. His features softened, and he looked at you, seeing your glossy eyes look right back at him. 
“Thank you for saying that. No one’s ever defended me like that besides my friends, and that means a lot to me,” you gave him a small smile to which you earned one back. It felt some sort of shock knowing that people live in fear and can’t be who they want to be because society doesn’t accept it, and he felt some sort of sadness when you thanked him and said that no one else ever defended you. 
“Of course,” he said, reaching across the table to hold onto your hand, which you gladly took. His thumb caressed your soft skin, making no effort to let go; not like you wanted him to. 
“I was supposed to have a relaxing night to myself, but I’m glad I went to the shop.” 
“Me too. What made you change your mind?” He asked, and you rolled your eyes, remembering the events that happened before you left the studio. 
You told Harry about Tyler, not leaving out a single detail of what he said to you as it was still fresh and ingrained into your mind. The entire time you told the story, Harry also rolled his eyes and scoffed at some people’s immaturity. But you just shrugged your shoulders, telling him that you were going to live your bisexual life freely. 
“What’d you do this weekend?” You asked, putting an end to your story as you felt like you were talking about yourself too much. 
“Oh, I, uh…had a couple of days off from the shop and I had an audition,” he said with a humble smile. Your eyes widened, jaw dropping. 
“Harry!”
“What?” He asked obliviously. 
“Oh, I don’t know--you just casually mention that you had an audition,” you said sarcastically; a chuckle from Harry was heard. “That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you,” you beamed at him, feeling so happy for him as he maintained his composure and tried not to get too excited. 
“Thank you. I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but it was such a thrill being in front of the producers,” he said, proceeding to tell you the entire story. He felt giddy telling someone other than Mikey or Daren, and he definitely felt your energy, telling him that you were just as excited for him as well. 
“Harry, that’s truly so great. They would be missing out if they don’t pick you.”
“Thanks, sweet girl.” The name had slipped out. It came out naturally, but he closed his mouth immediately, not knowing if that crossed the line since he used that pet name in bed. 
“I’ve missed hearing that name,” you told him honestly, and he calmed down a bit, smirking at you. 
The night was going by quicker than you intended as you hung out with Harry starting around 1 p.m, and now it was nearing 4.
 As much as you wanted to continue hanging out with him, you still wanted to have some alone time with yourself since it was rare that you would have the house to yourself. Besides, like he said, it wasn’t the last time you would be seeing each other. 
“I should probably get going,” you say, a sad tone behind your words. 
“Yeah, okay, sure. Let me just grab the check,” he turned around to find the waitress that served you both. 
“Oh, I can pay for half,” you said, beginning to reach into your purse for your wallet. 
“It’s okay. Let me; I just got paid. And besides, I was the one who picked the milkshake flavor, so let me pay for it,” he smiled at you, making you blush. “Next time, you’ll pick the flavor, and maybe you can pay if you want to next time.” You only nodded, smiling as you watched him just walk up to your waitress and pay for your meals. 
Once he paid, you two walked out the diner; the summer sun was still bright outside, making it seem like it was still early in the day. You walked over to the driver side as Harry stayed still in front of the restaurant. 
“I’ll see you soon, maybe? Drive safe,” he said, waving at you. 
“What are you doing?” 
“Oh, I was gonna catch the railway.” he said shyly, and you chuckled, thinking you were probably crazy if you were going to leave him out here. 
“You know you’re too kind for the world, and don’t need to get all shy on me. It’s just me—you’re comfortable with me?” You asked, wanting to make sure he felt comfortable with you no matter what. 
“Yeah, of course-”
“Then hop in. I don’t bite, that is, only if you want me to,” you smirked, starting your car and putting on your sunglasses. He absolutely loved when you wore your sunnies; you had a different pair on than when he first met you. Today’s sunnies were pink circular glasses; the lens was see through as he saw your eyes, thinking you look absolutely stylish and all kinds of adorable. 
“I live in West Hollywood,” he said suddenly, feeling a bit anxious for you to see the neighborhood he lives in because he knows that it’s nothing compared to where you probably live. 
“Okay, that’s on the way to where I live anyways. Just lead the way,” you quickly glanced at him, giving him a smile before turning your head back to the road. You sensed his anxiousness as you did when you first met him; and you thought that it was simply his personality—he was a shy guy in general. That’s why you wanted to make sure he was comfortable around you, and not push his limits. 
After a few directions from Harry, making a left here and making a right there, you made it in front of his apartment building. It obviously wasn’t a neighborhood you were used to, but you didn’t mind it nor were you going to judge it. It was Harry’s home, and as long as it makes him safe, then everything was fine. 
Harry waited a few seconds, not immediately getting out of the car, before turning towards you as you turned your car off. “I had a really nice time tonight,” 
“Me too. I’m glad we were able to go out. Until the next one?” You subtly slipped in, in case he had forgotten, or to see if he wasn’t joking when he said ‘next time’ at the diner. 
“Of course. I’ll see you then,” he gave you one last smile before getting out of your car. 
“Harry…” you called out just like the last time you had dropped him off. He once again turned around, leaning his forearms on the top of the door and bent down. 
“Yes?” 
You unclicked your seatbelt, making your way towards the passenger side as you kneel on the seat. You reached your hand to place your palm against his right cheek, feeling his stubbled skin. 
“Thank you for today, and for lunch. I mean it when I said I had a really great time.” Your face was inches away from him, and Harry was starting to get very antsy; wanting to kiss you so bad as your lips were so close but so far from his. 
“The pleasure is all mine. I’ll see you next time, sweet girl,” he said. He noticed how much you really like being called that because every time he does, a blushy smile appears on your face, and he would make sure to always call you ‘sweet girl’ to see that kind of smile from you all the time. 
His eyes flickered between your eyes and your lips as it was painted in a bit of lip gloss. He also noticed how your attention was on his lips as well. And before he could ask you if he could kiss you, you had leaned your head into his left cheek, planting a kiss to his skin. 
It wasn’t anywhere on his lips, but it was sweet and soft; a sweet innocent kiss that he would always remember and and he was sure he would giddily  scream once he got back to his apartment. 
“Have a good night, honey,” you said as you pulled away. Harry’s heart immediately swooned at the second time you called him honey. 
“Honey?” He said as it came out as a pleasant surprise. You say back down in your seat, blushing. 
“Yeah, is it too cheesy?” 
“No, no! I really like it,” he smiled, dimples showing off. 
“Good.” 
“Great.” 
You two stared at each other, smiling like idiots as neither one of you wanted to leave. But you two broke eye contact due to the car alarm that startled you both, but both looking back at each other as you two giggled. 
“Bye—for the millionth time,” you said as you started your car, putting the gear into drive. 
“See ya, sweet girl,” he bid you goodbye as he gave you one last wave and watched you drive away. 
As he walked up the stairs to his front door, he thought of how the day had been really good and how much he had fun; anticipating the next time he gets to see you again. 
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one of my favorite chapters! BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND VALID. 
next chapter will be posted on September 4! LETS CHAT IN MY INBOX!
taglist babies: @froggystyles​​ @outofsstyles​​ @whoschantel​​ @4592222 @groovybaybee​​ @bfharry​​ @wellbafineline​​ @tfonty​​ @bfilipa52 @afire-hes​ @thorsangel​​ @brrilliant-harry​​ @apples2019​​ @bbymichelleee​​ @harrys-cherrry​​ @ggaayyyong​​ @heslilac​​ @hufflepuff-always-and-forever​​ @sozvuchiy​​ @mellamolayla​​
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fatgothgf · 7 years ago
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man when i spend like 4 hours on one thing, no matter what it is, it always looks shitty as hell to me when its done. especially when it probably didnt warrant that much work
anyways pls validate me and rb my gifs
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