#pls love me i have missed you all so much

[xxmooxmooxx]

irritable. ~ s.r. x fem reader.

MDNI 18+ ONLY

- told from spencer’s pov

prompt: Spencer accidentally sees y/n secret nsfw twt account and is struggling dealing with working along side her now.

warnings: angry Spence, nsfwtwt, mentions of sex, sex toys, perv! Spencer if you squint your eyes, age gap, lmk if im missing anything :)

a/n: BLURB! not a v long story. my first Spencer fic AND my first time writing smut. NOW reader and Spencer don’t hookup in this but it’s talked about quite a bit so proceed with caution loves. gimme feed back pls!!!! Lmk if you’d want a pt 2!!!

“i can't fucking do this, y/n. We have a lot of work left to do on this case.” I say getting out of my seat and walking towards the office door. It’s just too much right now. We’ve gotten nowhere close to finding this god awful unsub. Then here is y/n smelling like cocoanut and vanilla. Looking at me… no searching my eyes for answers I don’t have. And her hair? God. It’s down. Unlike most days where she wears it pulled back.

“Spencer! What the fuck? You told me if i needed to confied or talk to someone to go to you? If thats no longer okay then just tell me. You don’t have to talk to me like this.” She says getting out of their chair and stepping in my path to the door.

Shes right. I am being a complete an total ass right now. It’s not her fault. When she started last year I did tell her to come to me and she has taken me up on that offer lots of times and I've never minded it. I don't mind it. At Least I didn’t before… I look down defeated and sigh before looking at her. “You’re right. I apologize. Please, excuse me.” I take a step to the door.

“Reid…” She grabbed my arm looking up at me. “Please. What’s going on?”

I jerked off and came multiple times to your secret twitter account, y/n. I have your body engraved into my brain. I know exactly what i’d have to do, where to touch, how to touch, where to lick and suck now from watching the videos of you playing with yourself. I cant look at you let alone work with you, without wanting to take you into an empty office and showing you all the many things about your perfect fucking body I have learned and memorize. God even now during this stressful case all I can think of is fucking you so hard over this table that you cant remember what you came in here to ask for in the first place. But I can’t say that.

“I’m… fine. Okay? Many daily things in our lives especially in this field can cause irritability, for example: we’ve been on this case for 48 hours, we’ve gotten nowhere close to a profile, no idea how to stop this unsub, exactly how many victims he has so far, which means there's gonna be more innocent people dying. So, if I'm irritable that may be the reason. Now if you excuse me i need to go look the files we found on Amy Cassandra and Olivia Hidmen.” And with that, she let me go and I made my way out.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After a long week we are finally back home. I avoided y/n as much as I could which is the only way to deal with this until I can figure out how to move on. Then of course… once we get home going out to “split” the teams favorite local bar was suggested. We all agreed to meet up in an hour, giving ourselves time to go home and get ready.

I was sitting at our usual table with Derek and Emily when y/n walked in talking with Hotch. Fuck. me. She was wearing a short, silk, black dress that was hugging her body perfectly. Her hair was down framing her face perfectly and she was wearing her glasses. Last time i saw her glasses, they were on her bed side table in the background of the video she posted, showing off her new toys a sex toy company sent her. My thoughts are interrupted by her looking at me. I can't. I turn to Emily and Derek asking to be excused before walking past y/n and out the bars glass doors.

She’s your coworker, spencer. Not only is she a coworker, shes damn near 10 years younger than you, sees you as a mentor, and trusts you. What the fuck have I done.

“Reid!” i hear yelled from behind me.

No no no no… I turn to see her jogging towards me.

“y/n please go back inside.”

“No.”

“y/n…”

“Spencer, please stop.”

“No. y/n. You. please stop. Leave me alone and go back inside with the others…” I turn to walk away. After a few paces I hear:

“I saw.”

I pause in my tracks. Looking down at my feet. I’m fucked. I take a deep breath before turning and walking back to her. “You saw what?” I say looking down at her. My voice coming out deeper than intended.

“You liking and unliking one of my post on twitter.” She says softly and almost unsure.

I dont break eye contact. I’m frozen. What am i suppose to say to that?

“Spencer, please don’t tell anyone. I’m-”

I shake my head. “I wasn’t planning on talking to anyone about this.”

“Oh… okay…” A few more moments of silence. “I’m really really fucking sorry you saw that, no one i know in person was ever meant to see it. I just do it for fun and…”

‘I cant be having this conversation right now.’ i think to myself as she continues to ramble. “y/n. Stop.”

“... i know youre probably mortified…” she continues.

“Stop.”

“... I just dont wanna lose you-”

“y/n!’ I say louder than intended as i grab her shoulders trying to get her to listen to me. Shes staring wide eyed at me, silent. I losen my grip and lead her to a near by empty stairwell. I let her go and brush her hair off her shoulders and try to straighten the straps of her dress that was underneath my hands.

“Now…” i start calmly. I see her relax more and start looking at me with curiosity. “y/n, you have no reason to be apologoizing to me. You-” i stop myself to think before i let more rambling come out of my mouth. “I should be the one apologizing to you.” I say taking a step back attempting to give her some space.

“For what?” She asked genuinely.

“For invading your privacy. I saw your account and I was intrigued then after a few moments of analizing i realized it was you. I shouldve clicked away immediately but I didn’t, I kept scrolling and looking and I’m so sorry, y/n. You’re an amazing person, agent, and friend and I’m someone you trusted and i-”

“Did you like them?” she asked bluntly looking up at me.

Spencer. Stop. you cannot entertain this.

“Yes.” I answered searching her eyes for any signs of regret or disgust.

None to be found.

She takes a step closer to me making our hight difference extremely noticeable. “Spencer,” she started softly. The sound of my name on her lips going straight to my cock. “Did you touch yourself to me?”

“I did.”

She searches my face almost the same way i did hers moments ago before she yanks me into her by my tie our lips meeting and her pulling away before I could even register what happened. I look at her as if asking if she's sure she wants this before we quickly grab each other crashing our lips together again. Our bodies moving together and our mouths hungry.

“Fuck, I need you closer.” I moan into our kiss before softly pushing her against the wall of the stairwell. My hands roaming her body until they find their way to her beautiful thighs. I yank one of her legs up by her knee taking the opportunity to get my body closer to her. I can feel her hot core against my aching cock. My hands now resting on her ass and I leave kisses along her neck.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted you to touch me like this for so long, Spencer.” She moans softly into my hair.

“Is that so?” I ask, looking up at her as I slowly drop down to my knees.

“Oh my god.” She whispers as she realizes my intentions for getting down here.

‘She’s definitely gonna believe in a god when i'm done with her.’ I think to myself as I start leaving kisses along her thighs.

“Y/n??”

We jump at Penelope’s voice we hear from around the corner. FUCK.

I immediately get back up and look at her attempting to straighten her dress and hair up. “We’re just having a conversation. Okay?” I whisper to her searching her eyes trying to keep her calm

“Okay.” She whispers back.

I nod as I take a seat on the steps crossing my arms over my knees in an attempt to hide my boner from Penelope.

“Oh my god! There you two are!” Penelope said relieved once she saw us. “Is everything okay with my two favorite nerds?”

“Yeah, just kinda debriefing the past week. It was a lot for me.” Y/n spoke up.

“Awwww okay pumpkin. If you need to take time to yourself it’s okay, everyone would understand.” She said as she pulled y/n into a hug.

“Yeah that’s probably what i'm gonna do. I need to decompress.” Y/n says in response, hugging our friend back.

“Okay baby cakes.” Garcia responded by pulling away. “What about you, my handsome wonder boy? You okay?”

“Yeah i'm good. Just got a bit overwhelmed. I’ll probably head home as well.” I say in response looking up at her from my seat on the stairs.

“Okay then my loves. I’ll go let them know.” She says as she starts to back up. “Reid, be a gentleman and make sure our sweet y/n gets home safe.” She turns and sends a winks to y/n before turning and making her way back to the bar.

“You um… maybe wanna come over and talk about everything?” I ask looking back to the beautiful woman I had in my arms moments ago.

“I would like that.”

[stxneflxwers]

I saw your post and came running 👀 I've been thinking about this since the end of December bc I really did not get into the holiday spirit until after it was over lmao BUT for any characters you want to write for: what are they like during the holidays? What traditions do they like to do? What gifts do they give you?

(Extra ideas you can take or leave if it helps your inspiration at all — How does Aventurine feel when you tell him you don't need any of those expensive gifts, just time with him? How does Sunday react when you sit him down to tell him he's stressing himself out too hard trying to find a perfect gift for you and that all you want is for him to be happy? How does Dan Heng respond when you tell him that the only gift you want for the holidays is him?)

^ I've just been rotating the hsr boys in my head all day at work lol so I have a lot of Thoughts™

gift of love.

summary. the greatest gift of all is his love.

a/n. tysm for the request!!! i decided to settle with gift-giving ideas you offered, since it sounded interesting and cute!! im just gonna stick with aven and sunday for this tho... i wanna test how sunday writes for me.

characters. aventurine. sunday.

cw. first time writing for sunday (this is more of a test with how much i enjoy writing him, sry for any OOC-ness). gift-giving. all lowercase. established relationship(s). PLS NOTE THAT I HAVEN'T DONE THE NEW TRAILBLAZE MISSION STILL CUZ I'M A LAZY MFER...SORRY.

aventurine.

tries to be soooo sneaky about figuring out what you like as gifts. he wants all of his gifts to be a surprise, after all! it doesn't work. you see right through his game plan. he's a smidgen disappointed (with himself), and might be a bit surprised depending on the kind of person you are.

he still ends up showering you in expensive gifts of things you enjoy. he tries to find the most expensive edition of any of those things even though he, of all people, should know that expensive ≠ well-made. you have to tell him to chill out.

he immediately believes you're angry with him (why wouldn't you be?). but you're not, and you can see the panic flash in his eyes for the tiniest of moments. you sigh softly with a wary smile. you briefly give him some space before talking to him about it.

you tell him that all the most expensive gifts in the world are nothing in comparison to quality time together. you remain patient with an open-mind and a listening ear – you know he needs a wealth of both. you make sure to tell him you miss him.

his mouth hangs open in silence when you tell him that, for once he's at a loss for words. his mouth closes and he smiles. he takes you into a soft hug and whispers, "i miss you too."

he makes an evident effort to be around you more often when he does have the time. you know, instead of wasting half of it out in the casino.

and it makes all the difference.

sunday.

the most perfectionist to ever perfectionist. stop him before he literally keels over from stress.

thankfully, you notice how weary he's been. and you ask him what's wrong. because at this point – everyone knows, everyone notices how he's been stuck in his head (more than usual). he frets over little things, as usual. but now he seems almost snippy. birdie is cranky.

when he eventually gives in and confesses that he cannot find the "right" gift for you, you're smiling and shaking your head. you give him a very long moment of silence, testing him – seeing if he catches on what you'll say next.

he doesn't catch on "quick enough", much to his dismay. perhaps he hasn't adjusted to your praises and reassurances...yet.

you tell him that the greatest gift of all would be for him to be happy. to be relaxed. to be in the moment. you throw in a little whisper, "maybe by my side, too."

he's silent – his mind running amok with what to say next. he settles for an awkward yet genuinely affectionate, "thank you..."

and then he asks for your forgiveness once he collects himself. you laugh softly and forgive him, you've gotten used to him asking for your forgiveness rather often. only yours, though.

at some point, you're going to need to tell him that forgiving himself is far more important.

[candykenma]

Hi, can I pls request Haikyuu pretty setter squad when their s/o is struggling from writer's block or artist's block please?? Thank you =D

I LOVE THIS. PLEASE MARRY ME???

Oikawa

• Honest to god oikawa couldn't careless not in a mean way but hes missed his s/o all week now.

•He literally drags his s/o from the desk and just cuddled them despite the complaints and protest

•when he realizes it's actually getting to his s/o he'll buy they're favorite ice cream. Probally door dash it along with dinner bc if he lets his s/o go it'll be right bk to work for them.

• has his s/o shower with him and face care stuff to distract them.

Sugawara

•HE SIMPLY GIVES YOU IDEAS.

• This man will read what u got and be like "hey do you wanna like have sex at a carnival?" Or whatever random thoughts come to mind after reading and his s/o will go "THATS A GREAT IDEA"

• not referring to doing but instead writing a detailed chapter Abt whatever random thoughts came out of his mouth

• if that doesn't he work he'll sit u down on the couch and make u watch movies with him trying to secretly help u get ideas

•hell show u random stuff on Pinterest or tell u stories that his kids at school told him just to try and give u something to right about

•🥰

Akaashi

• this man right there frustrated wit u

•yall both got deadlines , both got writers block , both starving bc y'all forgot to eat.

• Akaashi probally stops for ant 10 minutes to cuddle with u and rub his fingers through your hair then straight BK to work

• they're was this 1 in incident where you were complaining Abt how cringe everything you wrote sound and he looked dead at you and said "why r u making it cuddly and innocent? You aren't either of those things" 😭

Kenma 😋my baby

•once again he doesn't gaf

• if u ask him for help he'll probably tell u the BK story of a character from one of his games he likes, or just tells u to put it down and he can't help u bc he doesn't read books unless he has too😭

• The definition of no fucking help. He tried and it's cute but baby no....

• if he sees it's affecting your health he'll butt in putting u to bed or taking u put to eat reluctantly,

•he'll offer to run you a bath as well but that's Abt as much as u get

Atsumu

• just as unhelpful and ANNOYING Abt it

• it's not that I have writers block it's that u can't write or think with him in you guys room. Your actually spazzing out so much so u send him to the store with a list of things you need and want jus to write

• he doesn't mean to and u never tell him that but he definitely makes your job harder.

• though u realize u can't write when he's not around either, his crazy stories and random thoughts he blurts out are the material and foundation for ur writing

•He comes BK home and you shower him with cuddles

Kageyama

• Also not very helpful

• I imagine most of the books you write would be smut related, you'd probably be letting out all that untapped pent up energy

•he probally read one of your books once and was like "u wrote this....?" And u jus were like yeah not think Abt the fact all your books are porn on paper with some good plot here and there

• He probally started doing things a bit different like playing into the books uve read in order to give you more content. He'd take you on more extravagant but intimate dates to help the creativity 🤷

I TRIED ITS 2:45 AM.....HOPE U LIKE???

[an-unknowntraveler]

Cheering up

LEE Telemachus, Ler Penelope and Odysseus. very slight lee Odysseus.

Pls don’t ask how I finished this so fast.

Twenty whole years... twenty whole years had passed since Odysseus was gone, then... he returned. He killed all of the suitors, to protect his son, Telemachus, and his wife, Penelope.

Telemachus loved his father, but was struggling to get adjusted to having his father around, considering his father made... some rather... terrible dad jokes. Penelope feared Telemachus would dislike his father, despite it being the opposite.

And it was a year... after the return of Odysseus of Ithaca. Telemachus was training with Athena, but he kept getting distracted. "Is something wrong??" Telemachus heard a voice say, then he looked up. oh. it was just Athena. Telemachus didn't know what to say, or do really. He just sighed, and sat down on the ground, while Athena looked down at him with curiosity.

"Telemachus??" She called out again. And there it was.. no reply. she was slightly concerned, she was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts though, when Telemachus suddenly spoke up. She looked at him again, as he said the words of... "Athena, I don't know why. I love my father dearly — yet I can't seem to get adjusted to having him around. Despite him being gone for so long, and me constantly missing him." He looked ashamed of himself, and looked away from her, in fear of what she'd think.

"Oh... Telemachus... don't worry about it, please." her much stoic tone during training vanished softening a lot, as she kneeled down next to him.

"It's okay to feel that way Telemachus, it's confusing sometimes. your feelings are valid, no matter what. it's okay to be confused. or scared." She spoke, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"you,me, Penelope, and Odysseus, know deep in your heart. You love your father. You might not be adjusted to having him around right away, but that doesn't mean you don't love him, because you do love him. That's what matters most."

Telemachus started crying, babbling about something. “Athena!! But- but— I don’t want to feel this way! It’s not making me feel better!” Athena didn’t know what to do, so she disappeared. Just like that. Telemachus cried more when she left, he felt alone. He kept thinking… why did she leave?? did she hate him? Is she ashamed of him?? She might be…

Penelope was walking through the palace, and found her son, Telemachus sobbing. she immediately went over to him. “Telemachus? My son?? Are you alright??? What happened?? Where’s Athena…?? Did you get hurt?!?” she suddenly panicked, worried he was hurt, and that Athena left him.

“What— no!!—“ Telemachus sniffled, he spluttered when he spoke. “I’m not hurt— I’m fine.. it’s just..” Penelope stopped panicking much. But was curious, and raised an eyebrow. “Just what, Telemachus…? Talk to me…” she looked at him, sad.

“How do I say this… mother…??? I… I’m not adjusted to having father around— I love him dearly— but I’m having trouble getting used to the annoying dad jokes, when I’m trying to acutally talk to him, I’m tired of the jokes!! I just want to be able to talk without joking, and humor..” Penelope’s gaze turned stern slightly.

“Telemachus.. your father is trying his best to get to know you better! He’s trying to have fun with you.. you need to be nicer!” She raised her voice slightly. Telemachus was shocked, on hearing her close to yelling at him. He felt hurt.

“I just spoke my feelings to you?! And that’s all you’re going to say??…” he sniffed. he stood up, and ran off, to his bedroom. Penelope’s slight anger turned into guilt. She didn’t want to hurt Telemachus, but she didn’t understand why he’s feeling this way. she sighed, and walked away. she went to hers and Odysseus’ room.

Odysseus was sitting on the bed. “Penelope!! hello—!!” Odysseus spoke akwardly, though he was happy to see his beautiful AAAMMMAAAZZZIIINNGG wifeee! but he was confused to see her looking… slightly guilty??… what had happened?? Odysseus became concerned. “Nel….?” When Penelope sat on the bed next to him, she looked down. He scooted closer to her, and held her hand tightly, slightly rubbing her hand with his thumb gently.

“I feel like I hurt Telemachus.” She suddenly spoke, and looked at her husband, who was confused, again. “Whaa….??” Penelope groaned.. “I said… I. hurt. Telemachus. Accidentally.” she poked him in the side each time, he scooted away from her when she poked him, slightly embarrassed. but then it faded.

“How’d you hurt him??” Penelope was scared to tell him, incase Odysseus got mad at her for it. “I… raised my voice at him.” Odysseus had never felt so stunned in his life?? his wife, the sweetest woman in the entire world. RAISED HER VOICE… “WHAT..??” He said a bit louder then he wanted.

“But you have to understand, he said your jokes are annoying, and that you won’t take him seriously. I told him you’re trying your best and yeah.”

“Oh.” Odysseus said.. “well.. where’d he he go. maybe we can cheer him up, huh..?” Penelope slowly looked up at him, and smiled. “Ohh.. yeah… you’re right. did you know, Telemachus is ticklish?? He’s as ticklish as you are!” “Oh- hey!” Her husband huffed. and stood up.

“well let’s go find him, Hon.” He walked out of the room, she followed. they walked around the palace, and eventually found him sitting in his room by himself. “Hey, kiddo.” Odysseus sat next to Telemachus on the bed, and Penelope sat on the other side of Telemachus. “We’ve been talking.” She finally spoke.

“About what.” Telemachus said, coldly. Odysseus raised an eyebrow. “are you giving us attitude??” Telemachus scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What if I am??” “Don’t be annoying.” Odysseus scolded softly. “We were here to come cheer you up!” Odysseus then said, happily.

Telemachus furrowed his brows in slight confusion, and annoyance. “and how are you going to do that?? I’m not a child anymore.” Telemachus kept up his annoyed front, till Penelope spoke, and Telemachus became nervous. “I told your father, you’re ticklish.”

Telemachus’ eyes widened with horror. “You told him… WHAT??” he panicked. Odysseus and Penelope smiled at him innocently, till Odysseus spoke. “First, you need to hug us. Cause you love uss… sooo muccchh!!” Odysseus was teasing him. And hugged Telemachus, and so did Penelope.

Telemachus hugged them back, till he stifled his laughter, as he felt one of them start tickling his sides. “Nohoho…. Stooppp…!!-“ then the second set of hands tickling him, he started giggling, and couldn’t help it. he figured out who was who eventually. his father tickled his stomach, while his mother tickled his sides, Telemachus giggled, and giggled, his laughter was slightly squeaky.

Telemachus snorted when his father tickled his underarms instead, and he kicked his feet slightly, and pushed against his father and mother a tiny bit. “Well that was a silly sound, wasn’t it??” Odysseus teased. Telemachus squeaked at that, and he blushed slightly out of embarrassment. He felt like he was dying.(from the teasing. Not the tickling.) “Hahaha— you guys! Stop it— I cahahant take ihihit!!” His laughter was joyful and infectious, and Penelope laughed softly.

Telemachus giggled more and more, his parents eventually stopped. Telemachus still giggled softly after that. And caught his breath, while his freckled face was still slightly flushed. “We didn’t bother you that much, did we??” His father asked, looking at Telemachus. And acutally hugged him. “No.. I’m fine… thank you.” Telemachus finally said. He hugged both of his parents. he snuggled against both of them softly. He was feeling slightly sleepy. and eventually fell asleep. his mother brushed the hair out of his face gently. and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight my son…” she said, and smiled. in Telemachus’ dreams. He was thinking of getting revenge. but he couldn’t tickle his dear mother. So he’d just have to tickle his father instead. hint hint…

[darth-kote]

Actually can't believe they'll give us an episode like Rookies and show us rishi outpost and not tell us every single detail of each clone on the damned moon like-

[steve-brules-rules]

I saw @khrysalisposting do a tier list based on music, so I had to do one too lolol ❤️

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i think i have to be sick bc this sinus headache hasn’t gone away since like . two days ago :’) and i feel tired and weak and my eyes are dry :’))))) sniffleeee

[homeless202]

I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

-

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

-

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

-

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

-

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[damagedrot]

" like - THANKS. " she said easily enough crossing through the path he opened for her. ducking under his arm to make her way into the house. HER EYES PASSING BY HIS INFANT'S, " hey little dude. " she offered to the kiddo. not quite sure if she'd get a response, her mind more focused elsewhere anyways.

@jokethur . /. continued.

" your house is . . . wowzers. " it was half hearted, but she wasn't the best at complimenting someone else's home. her aunt's was a upscale Gotham abode. made for two. kept together by hired maids, && unfamiliar faces. coming through the home as frequently to conduct business with her uncle. her aunt was scarcely made to be there. but Lucy never really needed adult supervision. especially tonight.

hair, still bubblegum pink, with jaded pieces poking out here and there. she was good at adjusting, and easily found the kitchen after wrestling past their pets, " pizza - totally needed it. " she grabbed herself a slice. preferring the cold cheesy bread with pepperoni to microwaving it.

her eyes ducked down as her imaginary boyfriend entered the room. his glasses left on his nose even as he pushed them back over his eyes. Freddy had always been pretty introverted, but he was oogling her quietly the moment she first cut her hair, && applied that hair dye. saying that she looked like a celebrity, or an anime girl. she never understood his references, but he had trailed with her the whole way to Arthur's , " you think he has netflix? " Freddy asked.

" you think my aunt's --- gonna be pissed? " Lucy said instead. eyes looking around the room. Mapping out all the crooks and crannies, " she didn't see me leave. " she said that out louder for Arthur to hear.

" and . . . it's a look? " mentioning her hair. hands coming up to touch the strands. wrapping a small portion around her finger.

". yeah - you need to fix it. " freddy playfully jabbed at her. chuckling into his ninetendo switch.

[inkykeiji]

Wait, are you playing honkai star rail?

I AM, UNFORTUNATELY LMAOOOOOOOOO

i am playing it, finally, because boothill caught my eye! i’ve been staying updated on the characters within the game since it was released, just to see if there’d be anyone i found intriguing, and up until now no one piqued my interest! like gepard is cute but he’s so goddamn boring, blade is cute but i don’t care much for his story (maybe actually playing the game will change my mind? i don’t know too too much about him aside from general basics) but boothill???????? boothill seemed interesting right off the bat. too bad he’s locked behind, what, a full year’s worth of content??? ahahaha ._. anyway, rly hoping i’m not disappointed when i meet him haaaaaa ha ha

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

✨.

[yuukimiyas]

hi sweet peas!! ᜊ꒰ ᜊ ´ ˘꒱ ੭♡ just wanted to pop in & wish you all a very happy sat & wknd!! <33 i’m not 100% back here yet but just know i miss you all lots & lots!! ໒꒰ྀི ∩´﹏`∩ ꒱ྀིა & im forever sending love & light to you ALL!! <33

[sonicshrike]

ooc moment #1

tumblr is so darn different than the last time i used it! it amazes me the sheer number of changes that can occur in only a couple of years. the last time i was really active on tumblr was during the worst year of my life, so lets hope i dont curse myself by reviving my old accounts

[theoldsouls]

Do you ever just miss someone you used to know so viscerally that you'd pay your weight in gold to talk to them again?

Mine are Neddie and my father. By God would I do a lot to talk to either of them.

[tetsuskei]

“have you thought about what you want to do for your birthday?” his sudden question draws you from your concentration on your tablet, idlely playing some fighting style gacha game you’d downloaded thanks to a friend’s recommendation.

you quirk a brow, a little confused by childe. either he was genuinely asking or he was trying to make conversation. at this point, your birthday is months away - hell, his birthday has barely passed so where did this come from? when you lift your eyes from your tablet to the ginger, you find that his striking blue eyes are already on you.

“where’s this coming from?” you mumble out into the still air that fills the apartment and not long after, childe shrugs and breaks the tension with a small, warm laugh that you can’t help that smile at. he really is unpredictable sometimes but you’d seen that coming a long time ago.

“mmh, no reason at all,” he grins but there’s a mischievous sparkle in those ocean-like eyes that you don’t fail to notice as he wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls you into his side, “how’s the game?”

“it’s good, i like the character designs…” your voice trails off not long after you start talking. you begin to genuinely think about childe’s question; what did you want to do for your birthday? you hadn’t really given it much thought. after all, aren’t birthdays kinda repetitive?

ah, well. i guess you’ll have to tell him another day, there’s plenty of time.

that time passes quick and childe doesn’t mention your upcoming birthday anymore. a nagging feeling in your chest tries to convince you that he’d potentially forgot about it but you knew that couldn’t be further from the truth. childe was so observant in everything and everyone, it was hard to get anything by him even if he acts coy.

babysitting teucer had become a regular routine for the pair of you ages ago. with his parents working and his siblings fighting their footing academically, childe was more than willing to spend twenty-four hours with his youngest brother and when you see those sparkling blue eyes resemblant of a taller, slightly cockier ginger, you can’t say no either.

“big sis risu!” teucer exclaims, a wooden toy in his hand. it’s some kind of machine from a kids show that was mainstream at the moment, being childless meant you hadn’t really given the kids shows these days much thought. your memory only serves you to remember what you grew up watching anyways. god that was a long time ago, almost twenty-three years now.

you’re snapped back to reality by the young boy’s excited grin. he’s always been happy to see you. he says that you make ajax happy and you really hope that’s true. the man himself knows it’s true, the reality of his little brother’s words when he sees you kneel to meet eyes with teucer, that beautiful smile on your face and the warmest of personalities.

tick tock, tick tock. every second matters and childe hasn’t stopped watching this damn clock. it’s the eighth of november and he’d finally convinced you to take a long hot bath - courtesy of himself, of course. he’d shower you in affection to the last second, from running the bath to adding bubbles and lighting candles.

you’d muse in telling him that your birthday was almost an hour away. he’d reassure you that this bath was to keep you awake until midnight, like you’d both promised each other. in the time you’d been in the bath trying not to prune your skin, childe had pulled every arm and leg decorating your shared apartment.

these months had been meticulous, full of planning and secrecy that childe had struggled to keep underwraps. there was an itinerary for the ninth of november, one he was going to be particular about following to every last detail; the breakfast at your favourite café, a walk in the park with teucer (he’d begged and childe couldn’t resist,) lunch wherever you wanted and your choice of what you want to do in the afternoon. so long as he could get you to a high vantage point but sundown, letting him see you in a golden glow that displays just how ethereal he sees you as daily.

it’s midnight by the time you sneak back out of the bedroom in one of his shirts. sneaky, he thinks with a grin on his face he can’t conceal. even now, blue eyes trace every detail, freckle, spot, flaw and crevice of your body and drinks it into memory.

“happy birthday, baby.” his arms open wide, welcoming you into his chest as you come closer and allow him to wrap them tight around you. he breathes in the familiar scent of your hair products, you’re engulfed in his cologne and the faint smell of the dinner you’d had earlier.

twenty-three years of you existing on this earth, huh? childe could almost choke up at how much you’d grown as a woman since you’d got together. he intended to see even more, until his last dying breath.

— and finally, happy birthday to my darling risu. i hope this day is everything you ask for and more and if not, i’ll be sure to make sure next year is even better. have a fantastic day, angel. lots of love, mother ana ♡

me after reading this: