#pls let me live I swear ill watch it soon

[turtle-toe]

favorite headcanons that you've thought of for any of the hbowar guys for sleepover Saturday??

Okay, confession, I haven't watched any yet 😭

Like, my bf had me watch like two episodes of Band of Brothers but I never really got into it, but now I want to get into it but school is keeping me busy

Buuuut, for my hubby, I think Bull would be that one person that EVERYONE uses as a pillow.

(edit, just realized this meant the thingy for asks, not actually what would the guys do as a sleepover, BUT I STAND BY MY STATEMENT)

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[pansyslut]

hii! could u write more imagines from the one ‘you are my yellow’?? is my fav imagine and it’s so cute i just need more ‘moments’ of than couple i- 😔

you are my sunshine

draco x reader

part two of you are my yellow

warnings : like one or two swear words, mentions of not eating, so much fluff

song mentioned : you are my sunshine by johnny cash

draco had left for work before you. you had done your joint morning ritual like always. brushing teeth, brushing hair, getting dressed, right next to each other using your side my side sinks.

you still hadn’t told draco. he has been so much better recently and didn’t want to worry him. since that day you found him on the couch, he had taken that week off from work. you knew if he knew you were ill he wouldn’t hesitate to take another week off. but his work was already dicey and worrying him wouldn’t help either of you.

as soon as he walked out the door you let out a sigh of relief only for another wave of nausea to come rushing towards you. instantly running to the bathroom to hurl all of your breakfast out. you sit there on the bathroom floor for an hour. gagging up nothing but air due to your now empty stomach.

as soon as he walked out the door you let out a sigh of relief only for another wave of nausea to come rushing towards you. instantly running to the bathroom to hurl all of your breakfast out. you sit there on the bathroom floor for an hour. gagging up nothing but air due to your now empty stomach.

eventually, you will yourself up and make yourself a bowl of soup before laying on the couch to turn on some random show letting sleep take over.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

draco had been worrying about you all day. throughout the week he had noticing you eating less, only eating when you noticed him watching you. he knows what it’s like to have a bad mental health day and he feels for you. he can’t help but for that little part of him beginning to hurt that you hadn’t opened up to him about your struggles.

you had always told him time and time again, “it’s okay not to be okay.” and yet you hadn’t opened up to him at all this passing week.

not only are you eating less but you’re also sleeping less. he would wake up in the middle of the night to cold sheets next to him. at first, he had shrugged it off. maybe you just weren’t tired? and even if there was more to it, you always let him open up to you on his own time so he decided to give you the same curtesy.

that was until he noticed your lack of eating. he knows exactly what it’s like to be in that spot mentally. deciding to make a nice dinner for you tonight, he shoots you a text.

hey, baby. i know we haven’t been able to spend as much time together. i’m backed up with work from taking last week off. i’ll make you dinner tonight. make sure to be home from work by seven. xo

of course he wouldn’t force the food down your throat. but knowing you could never pass up your favorite food gave him hope. and if not, he would at least ask for you to open up to him about whatever has been on your mind.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

finally, he finished up work and was on his way home. his whole body yearning for you, missing your touch and the sound of your voice.

walking through the door, he finds you in the exact same position you found him the previous week. curled up on the couch, the tv quietly playing in the background. he takes note of the cold, almost untouched soup next to you.

deciding not to wake you, he lays a kiss on your forehead and busies himself in the kitchen. with the open floor plan in your house, he could see you in the living room as he cooked so he was able to check up on you.

he puts on your “happy playlist” as you call it, softly as he pulls out the ingredients. he feels arms wrapping around his waist as you push your face into the back of his shoulder.

“hey, dray” you say muffled into his shirt

“hi, baby. i’m making your favorite. i’m not sure if you saw my text but i missed you. i’ve been so busy. so just sit yourself down and have a glass of wine.” he says and you chuckle softly

with him standing by the stove, you pour yourself a glass but go back to hugging his back as you sway to the music.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

you make me happy when skies are gray

you'll never know dear, how much i love you

please don't take my sunshine away

the both of you stand there, in each other’s arms. eventually you hear draco singing softly as you smile. he knows you love it when he sings to you.

i'll always love you and make you happy

if you will only say the same

but if you leave me and love another

you'll regret it all some day

he briefly stops his cooking and turns to you, wrapping you up in his arms as he continues to sing.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

you make me happy when skies are gray

you'll never know dear, how much i love you

please don't take my sunshine away

the song ends but you both stay still in the warm embrace. “i missed you, y/n. i worry about you constantly.” he says.

“i’ve missed you too, dray. but you know you don’t need to worry about me. don’t be silly.” you say letting go of him and looking into his eyes. he smiles and nods, putting his hands on your cheeks as he looks at you intently.

you feel the pad of his thumbs smooth over your temples. growing worried, “what’s gotten into you, draco? is something wrong?” you say and he just shakes his head once again in response.

“it’s nothing, i’m sure. just sit down and relax while i finish.”

once dinners ready, he sits down next to you with both of your bowls as you catch up. about work, weekend plans, grocery shopping. it was all light hearted chitchat. it just felt good to be in each other’s presence once again.

he stars down at your full bowl and untouched wine then back up at you giving you a pointed look. trying not to trouble him, you start babbling on about having a girls night soon with your friends and how ginny invited you to go shopping with her.

as soon as you finished talking, you met dracos gaze to see how uninterested he looks. “y/n/n, you know that’s not what i want to talk about.”

“oh? then what is it?” you visibly gulp, trying to play dumb

“why haven’t you been eating?” he says dropping his fork and grabbing your hands. “you know you can talk to me. you know i am here for you one hundred percent. are you sick?” he puts his hand on your forehead, “you feel fine.”

you whack his hand away from you and try to brush it off once more. “i told you, i’m fine. i promise i would tell you if it was an actual-”

“cut the shit, y/n. i’ve giving you space and time. you know this is only coming from a place of concern. i’ve been worried sick about you this whole damn week. i made you your favorite meal in hopes for you to eat but even that you won’t get down. i’m trying so hard to be understanding. i know what it’s like to have bad mental days and-”

you cut him off, “draco this isn’t a bad mental day.” you sigh and grab his hands. “i just... i don’t want you to freak out. or feel like you are obligated to do or say anything.” you say as he stares blankly at you.

“y/n, if you think i’m leaving anytime soon, that is so far from the truth. after everything we’ve been through, you should know i’m not going to leave you over some silly little thing. no matter what it is i am here for you.”

you smile at his sweet sentiment. you know he’s right. you know deep down he would be here for you. here it is. just get it out. just say it. get it over with. “draco, i’m pregnant.”

“you’re- you’re what?”

“i’m pregnant. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. at first i just thought it was a stomach bug and didn’t want to worry you.”

he frantically shakes his head. he jumps up and pulls you into his arms, kissing every single part of your face. “oh baby, i can’t believe you were even nervous to tell me.” you latch onto his neck and wrap your legs around his torso.

“we’ve only been together for two years. and i know you’ve had a rough couple of weeks. we haven’t even talked about kids-” you get cut off as you feel a pair of lips on yours. melting into him, you couldn’t help but think how silly you were. of course he reacted so sweetly. it’s draco.

pulling back from you, “baby, you should’ve told me sooner i’ve been so worried. this whole time i thought you not eating was something deeper oh my-” he sets you down gently and sits back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair.

he pulls you into him again but he leans down to your stomach. “you’re going to have the best mommy in the world. but don’t tell her this- she’s going to have her some competition. you might be my number one yellow. but that can be our little secret.” you burst out laughing and shoved his shoulder.

that night, you lay there with draco laying his head on your stomach singing the song once again. but now his words are muffled as he sings directly into your stomach.

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine

you make me happy when skies are gray

you'll never know dear, how much i love you

please don't take my sunshine away

he looks up at you with a childlike grin on his face. “she’s going to be amazing, i already know it. she’s going to have my charming wit and her mama’s beautiful looks.”

“so you’ve decided it’s a girl, huh?” you say running your fingers through his hair. “trust me, y/n. i’ve got a knack for this sort of thing.” he says and you shake your head.

in your thoughts, you think of what having a mini draco would be like. running around, causing a ruckus. you smile to yourself.

he pushes back up and lays his forehead on yours. he sets his hand on your tummy, “our little sunshine.”

[nekojitachan]

Don’t Wanna Fall - Wangxian MDZS/CQL Fic

Okay, so this is what happens when I get stressed and feel the need to write; the mind latched on to this story. It’s basically canon-divergent (CQL/The Untamed for the most part), fix-it, and a/b/o (with some slight twists) and is all plotted out.  I’d figure I’d post it here and throw up the beta’d parts on AO3.

Warnings for canon-typical violence, and more notes explaining things at the bottom.

*******

Wei Wuxian felt a precious sense of contentment as he sat near his sister and ate the soup she’d made; the emotion had been missing ever since the attack on Lotus Pier, and he knew it wouldn’t last long. Soon enough the sedative that Wen Qing had given him would render Jiang Yanli unconscious, and once Song Lan took her to the safekeeping of Lan Wangji and the Jins, then—then it was time to fix Jiang Cheng.

He pushed aside all thoughts on how they’d go about ‘fixing’ his brother while he finished the bowl of pork rib and lotus soup, unwilling to spoil his meal.

As soon as he set the empty bowl on the table, Jiang Yanli was quick to refill it. “You don’t have to—”

His sister gave him a stern look, her gaze shifting down to his abdomen before she shook her head. “You need to keep up your strength, A-Xian,” she chided, her voice pitched low so she didn’t disturb their brother, who was resting on the far side of the room. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard, looking for a way to restore A-Cheng’s golden core. That’s not good… well, you need to rest.”

Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to tell her not to worry about him, but closed it a moment later without any words spoken after another stern look. For all her gentle mothering and sweet nature, Jiang Yanli was a true force to reckon with when she believed that those she loved weren’t taking care of themselves, which seemed to be the case right now. Especially since she knew that Wei Wuxian was pregnant.

He’d managed to hide that fact from everyone else, even Wen Qing, thanks to some clever talismans (desperation truly did help when it came to inspiration) and loose robes, but Jiang Yanli had been there when he’d figured out the truth, a few weeks after his return from the enforced ‘indoctrination’ at Qishan. From the time he’d spent trapped in the cave at Dusk-Creek Mountain with Lan Zhan. Just the two of them, an alpha and an omega, prevented access to the medicines which helped control their heats and ruts (as well as prevent pregnancies for omegas), so of course Lan Zhan had gone into rut after they’d killed the Tortoise of Slaughter (fighting the thing for so long probably had played some part in that), which had then instigated Wei Wuxian’s heat and….

At least it had been his dear shijie who’d found out about the baby and not Madame Yu, who probably would have thrown him out on the street with barely any clothes on his back after whipping him half to death (it wasn’t speaking ill of the dead if it was the truth), or Uncle Fengmian, who would have guilted him into naming the father so a hasty marriage could be arranged. Which really, what good would that do? Lan Zhan had barely been cognizant (hell, Wei Wuxian had barely been conscious) when the whole thing had happened, so why should his life be ruined as well?

Not that Wei Wuxian felt like his life was ruined by any means. He and Jiang Yanli had been talking about ways to get him away from Lotus Pier so he could give birth in secrecy, maybe have a trusted wetnurse look after the baby for a couple months and then he’d ‘find’ the ‘poor orphan’ and ‘adopt them’. Perhaps not the greatest plan, but it had been a work in progress.

Then the Wens had attacked Lotus Pier, and all that mattered was surviving another day.

He finished the last of the soup and smiled at Jiang Yanli, whose expression gentled into affectionate approval. “Delicious, as always. Shijie makes the best soup.” 

She smiled as she poured them both more tea. “Don't you feel better now?” Her gaze once more flickered to his abdomen when he nodded, but she couldn’t ask him about his little ‘lotus seed’ since they weren’t alone. He knew she worried about the baby, one more burden she bore, one more thing to sap her strength when she needed to focus on her own health, so he gave her as bright a smile as he could to ease her concerns.

They sat together and drank tea, content in each other’s presence; Wei Wuxian fiddled with the beaded charm bracelet on his left wrist while he waited for the sedative in the incense burner to take effect. Soon enough, Jiang Yanli’s eyes, marred by dark circles from exhaustion and worry, drifted shut as she slumped down to rest her head on her arms folded on top of the table. He finished the last of the tea and waited for Jiang Cheng to rise from the bed where he’d pretended to sleep so they could gently carry their beloved sister outside, where a carriage waited to take her to Lanling. 

Song Lan, sword in hand, stood beside the carriage and bowed to them once Jiang Yanli was safely tucked inside. “Young masters,” he said as he bowed. 

Before Wei Wuxian could wish the man a safe journey, Jiang Cheng shoved himself forward. “We’re trusting our sister in your care. You will deliver her untouched if you value your life,” he told Song Lan with a growl in his voice.

On one hand, Wei Wuxian was happy to see the return of his brother’s spirited, alpha nature (the way he’d been before the loss of his core), but on the other… while Song Lan was an alpha and Jiang Yanli an omega, Song Lan was a respected cultivator and owed them a debt, so could be relied upon to not harm their sister. Jiang Cheng’s threat was unnecessary and a bit insulting.

Song Lan merely bowed again, his face impassive. “I swear on my life that no harm will come to Maiden Jiang while she’s entrusted in my care, from others or myself.” He paused for a moment before he asked Wei Wuxian to pass a message on to Xingchen, only to change his mind and declare the request unnecessary.. 

“Thank you.” Wei Wuxian bowed to the cultivator before he left, and Jiang Cheng did the same after a moment. 

There was an ache in his chest as he watched Jiang Yanli leave, but Wei Wuxian knew it was for the best; she wasn’t a fighter yet would insist on the three of them remaining together despite the danger they faced. No, best that she was someplace safe, especially considering what Wei Wuxian planned to do next. 

The ache was quickly replaced by anger when Jiang Cheng slighted Wen Qing as they thanked her for her care; she might be a Wen, but she had risked her life (and Wen Ning his) to provide them medical care and shelter. Wen Ning had betrayed his own clan to help them back at Lotus Pier, and so the siblings deserved their respect.

All Jiang Cheng seemed to care about was restoring his golden core.

Wei Wuxian led his brother to where Baoshan Sanren supposedly lived, a nameless mountain outside of Yiling; he took a roundabout route in order to give the Wen siblings enough time to prepare for their arrival. Jiang Cheng tried to push forward as fast as he could, but was hampered by his lack of a golden core; Wei Wuxian used his brother’s reduced stamina to rest as often as he could, his own strength impeded by his pregnancy.

Ah, lotus seed, he thought as he placed a hand on his barely swollen belly while Jiang Cheng’s attention was diverted, what a chaotic world you’ve chosen to be born into. Interesting times indeed. Despite all the bad things that had happened recently—the attack on Lotus Pier, the deaths of Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu, Jiang Cheng losing his golden core, war about to break out at any moment—Wei Wuxian couldn’t include his unexpected pregnancy in it. True, he’d always thought he’d be mated at least when he started to have a family, but he already cherished the child growing inside of him regardless of how it had come about. 

His little lotus seed wasn’t an accident or mistake in his mind; Jiang Yanli accepted it, and he was certain Jiang Cheng would, too, once he found out (and yelled at him for being shameless for a week or two). That was, once Jiang Cheng had a golden core and they were somewhere safe, so Wei Wuxian could tell him the truth (and make him promise not to say anything to Lan Zhan) without adding to his brother’s burdens.

They finally reached the appropriate mountain peak almost two days laters; Wei Wuxian sent his brother on his way, blindfolded and with instructions on what to say to ‘Baoshan Sanren’. Jiang Cheng appeared apprehensive yet determined; Wei Wuxian watched him fumble his way blindly along the trail for some time before he quietly followed. When he caught up to Jiang Cheng, his brother had been rendered unconscious by a disguised Wen Qing and was being held by Wen Ning.

“Let’s get this done,” Wen Qing said as she discarded a hat draped with long, dark veils. She motioned for Wei Wuxian to follow her to where a tent had been set up; inside it were two pallets and several low tables covered with medical supplies, as well as a burning brazier. 

Wei Wuxian helped Wen Ning lay Jiang Cheng onto one of the pallets then knelt on the other and watched while the Wens did a quick examination of his unconscious brother. After a few minutes, Wen Qing nodded once, which appeared to be a signal to Wen Ning to begin to remove Jiang Cheng’s upper garments.

She turned her attention to Wei Wuxian. “Are you still certain you want to go through with this, even if there’s only a 50% chance it’ll work?”

“Yes.” Nothing had changed since the last time she’d asked him that question. “It doesn’t matter to me what happens to my golden core but Jiang Cheng can’t live without one.” He saw a flicker of pain cross her face and knew she’d been affected by his brother’s apathy before being given a hope of cultivating again. “Please, go ahead with the transfer,” he begged as he bowed low to her, his thoughts filled with how he had to make things right, had to make up for not being there to protect Jiang Cheng from Wen Zhuliu in the first place.

Wen Qing made a tsk’ing sound as she rapped her knuckles on the back of his head. “Stop that, we’ve no time for your foolishness.” She gave him a narrow look once he sat up. “You know I can’t sedate you during the surgery?” At his slight nod, she held out her hand. “It’ll affect your golden core, which will lower the success rate..”

“All right.” It wasn’t ideal, but somehow he’d manage.

“Hm.” Her lips pressed into a thin line as she continued to hold out her hand; behind her, Wen Ning finished undressing Jiang Cheng then turned his attention toward them, his hands resting on top of his thighs. “I need to check your qi,” Wen Qing said, an impatient bite to the words.

Wei Wuxian hesitated; he’d been careful to not let Wen Qing lay hands on him due to his pregnancy, but it looked as if he couldn’t avoid contact any longer. He sighed as he placed his hand in hers, and tried not to flinch when her fingers pressed against his wrist.

At first, Wen Qing’s expression remained the same (slightly annoyed, which really, such a shame to see it so often on a lovely face like that), and then her dark eyes grew wide and her lips parted with what could only be astonishment. Her strong fingers bit into Wei Wuxian’s wrist for a moment, then let go so she could smack him on top of his head.

“You fool!”

“Ow! That hurt, you hit me,” Wei Wuxian whined while Wen Ning called out his sister’s name.

“You’re pregnant!” Wen Qing glared at him while Wen Ning smiled, his face bright with joy.

“Congratulations, Master Wei, that’s such good—oh!” Wen Ning ducked his head and blinked in confusion when he was smacked by his sister as well. “A-jie?”

“It’s not good news,” Wen Qing snapped, her alpha nature flaring for a moment before she let out a slow breath and controlled herself. “He should have told me he’s pregnant, because there’s no way we can do the surgery now.”

“What?” Wei Wuxian snatched at Wen Qing’s hand while he shook his head, upset at the news; what did his condition have to do with anything? “Why can’t you? I’m perfectly fine, there’s no reason you can’t—”

“Because it’ll kill the child and possibly you if I go ahead with it!” Wen Qing shook her hand free and pressed it against his lower dantian while he stared at her in shock. “There’s the fact that your body will undergo a great strain during the surgery, and then another after you lose your golden core. Even if you both survived those things… the father was a cultivator, right?” She stared at him intently as her hand drifted to rest against his curved belly. “A powerful one?” There was a knowing glint to her eyes as she spoke, yet she didn’t mention any names.

“Yes.” Wei Wuxian refused to think about Lan Zhan right then, but he could acknowledge that much.

“Yes,” Wen Qing echoed while Wen Ning stared at the both of them as if he was an owl transformed into a human. “Which means the child will be a cultivator, too. It doesn’t have a golden core of its own yet, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t benefiting from yours.” Her expression took on a bitter edge as she rocked back on her heels, her hands clasped in her lap. “I’ve seen Wen Zhuliu wield his talent. Once, he was ordered to use it against the pregnant wife of a lord who’d angered Wen Rouhan. She survived, as did the child, but the boy couldn’t cultivate. You can make decisions for yourself all you want, but I won’t be responsible for harming a child or stripping it of its future.”

Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around his middle as he tried to digest what he’d learned. “But… but Jiang Cheng,” he said as he glanced at his unconscious brother. “What’s going to happen when he wakes up without a core?” It would be worse than before, now that he’d been given the hope of having it restored.

Wen Qing cast a worried glance at Jiang Cheng then shook her head. “Maybe we can—”

“Wha—what about me?”

Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing gaped at Wen Ning; as usual, the quiet beta had faded into the background until he’d spoken. “What about you?” Wei Wuxian asked as he toyed with the beaded bracelet on his wrist. “Do you have an idea?”

“What about giving Young Master Jiang my core?”

Wen Qing was quick to shake her head. “No, that’s out of the question, we’ll figure something else out.”

For once, Wen Ning didn’t allow himself to be cowed by his older sister. “What, A-jie? This was the only solution you and Master Wei could find, and now he can’t go through with it. You can use my core instead,” he offered as he lightly thumped himself on the chest.

“No,” Wei Wuxian said, even as a part of him wanted to accept Wen Ning’s offer, to go along with anything that would save his little brother. “I can’t let you do this.” It was too much of a sacrifice.

“Neither can I.” Wen Qing grabbed hold of Wen Ning’s shoulders and gave him a quick shake as if to make him think properly. “I know you want to help, but this… this is too much! It’s your golden core!”

“I know that,” Wen Ning said as he placed his right hand on her shoulder, his expression earnest as always. “What good has mine ever done for me?” When she made as if to argue, he shook his head. “I’m not as strong as you and the young masters, and I know I’ll never be because of… of my illness.” He pressed his left hand against his chest while Wen Qing appeared guilt-stricken by his words. “You’ve done everything you could for me, but I’ll always be like this. I’m sure young Master Jiang will take my golden core and make something useful out of it.”

“There has to be something else we can do, you can’t just give up your golden core like this!” Wen Qing sounded near tears as she argued with her brother, yet Wen Ning held firm.

“You’re the best doctor I know, probably the best there is, A-jie, and if you don’t know about it then it doesn’t exist. And you know I’m never going to achieve much with mine, so give it to Master Jiang so he can make a difference in the world. It’s what I want.”

As Wen Qing began to cry, Wei Wuxian finally found his voice. “Wen Ning… you don’t have to do this. Any debt you believe you may owe me for saving your life has been repaid.” He wanted to accept what his friend was offering, but it was too much—especially after everything the siblings had done for them in the past couple weeks.

Wen Ning shook his head, his lips curled in a gentle smile. “I want to do it, Master Wei. This way… this way a part of me will be out there fighting, will be setting right the wrongs my clan are committing.”

The fact that he spoke so clearly and fervently, without any stuttering or self-consciousness, convinced Wei Wuxian that Wen Ning meant every word. Wen Qing must have realized the same, since she sat up straight and wiped away her tears, her expression solemn as she gazed at her brother.

“Do you truly want to do this?”

“Mm!” Wen Ning nodded once.

Wen Qing closed her eyes and took a deep breath as if centering herself. “Very well, you’ll assist me while I repair Jiang Wanyin’s meridians.” She then turned to Wei Wuxian. “I’ll need your help with the second part of the surgery.”

“Yes, anything you require,” he promised, unable to believe that they were still going through with the transfer after all. When Wen Qing stood and went over to the brazier, Wei Wuxian grabbed Wen Ning by the arm. “Thank you,” he told his friend, his voice thick with emotion.

Wen Ning smiled once more. “You’re welcome, Master—”

“No, no more of that,” Wei Wuxian said as he patted Wen Ning’s arm. “We’re brother’s now, so you have to call me Wei Ying or A-Xian or gege.” He grinned when Wen Ning attempted to stutter out a denial. “How about Ying-ge?”

“Bu—but—”

“No buts!” Wei Wuxian frowned at his new little brother. “I mean it, we’re family now. Accept it.”

Wen Ning, his face mottled with red, gawked at him for several seconds before he ducked his head. “Even A-jie?”

Wei Wuxian hummed as he rubbed the side of his nose. “Well, I already have the best big sister in the world, but I suppose Shijie won’t mind if I take on another one.” He grinned when he heard Wen Qing mutter something about how she should have kept her mouth shut about his condition.

“Mm, A-jie is amazing.” Wen Ning paused for a moment before he gave Wei Wuxian a quick pat on the left shoulder. “Ying-ge.” Then he scurried over to his sister’s side while Wei Wuxian was left stunned silent at his new nickname.

Once Wen Ning was within reach, Wen Qing cradled his face between her hands and gazed into his eyes until he gave a slight nod. There was a rasp to her voice when she told him to prepare for the transfer, which disappeared when she ordered Wei Wuxian to her side so she could explain to him what she required over the next couple days. Basically, he would watch the first part of the operation to become familiar with the items Wen Qing needed, would fetch anything she asked him to, and would provide spiritual energy to her, Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng. 

He quickly agreed to everything, considering that Wen Qing was doing all the hard work and Wen Ning giving up his own golden core, leaving him to do very little (relatively speaking).

Wei Wuxian had already considered Wen Qing a brilliant doctor, having read through the medical treatises she’d written and witnessing her talent first-hand. Now, he had to agree with Wen Ning’s assertion that she was the best one alive after watching her painstakingly heal the damage Wen Zhului had wrought to his brother’s meridians so Wen Ning’s core could be transplanted into his body, her concentration and control not slipping once over the long hours. He fed them both a slight stream of energy and tried not to think of his friend’s hands in his brother’s abdomen.

He tried not to think about how very soon, those hands would be in Wen Ning’s abdomen.

When it came time to remove Wen Ning’s golden core, the young man laid down beside Jiang Cheng without any hesitation, a reassuring smile on his broad face which froze in place when his sister paralyzed him with her needles. Wei Wuxian held his friend’s hand as Wen Qing cut into his flesh, the tightness around her eyes her only sign of distress.

If Wei Wuxian thought that time had passed slowly while she had worked on Jiang Cheng, it practically crawled during the hours it took for Wen Qing to remove Wen Ning’s golden core. Only the fact that the glowing sphere didn’t disperse into nothing when she quickly shoved it into Jiang Cheng’s lower belly made the muffled moans of agony from Wen Ning bearable, put to rest the thought that such a selfless young man had suffered everything for no reason.

It took a couple more hours before Wen Qing finished with everything (and finally allowed her brother to pass out); she slumped exhausted next to Wei Wuxian, who’d practically drained himself dry feeding spiritual energy to her, Jiang Cheng and Wen Ning. “Stop that,” she mumbled when he tried to give her a little more. “Think of the baby.”

“I’m thinking I won’t be any good for anyone if something goes wrong.” He groaned as he rested against the side of the tent as well. “It worked, right?” The last time he’d checked, he felt a steady pulse of qi in Jiang Cheng; it wasn’t as strong as his old core had been, but it was there. Wei Wuxian figured that for now, it was enough for Jiang Cheng to wield a sword and fly (for short distances at least), and that his brother would work hard to make it stronger.

“Yes, it worked.” Wen Qing cast a tender look at her brother. “It had to work.”

“What happens now?”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back as if contemplating the question; Wei Wuxian got up to pour them each a cup of tea, and smiled when Wen Qing gave him a slight nod in gratitude for the drink. “Now… I’ll monitor them for a few more hours. Once he’s stable, you can leave. When he’s healed enough, I’ll let him wake up so he can go, too.”

“What about you?” Wei Wuxian frowned when she didn’t answer. “What are the two of you going to do?”

Wen Qing gave a one-shoulder shrug. “What does it matter? You got what you wanted.”

“Because I wasn’t lying when I said you’re family now,” he said as he lowered the cup of tea. “And I want to know that my family will be safe. Don’t make your didi worry about you.” He pouted for added effect.

She turned enough to look at him, her expression inscrutable, before she shook her head, a hint of a smile on her lips. “You’re incorrigible.” 

“I’m adorable, brilliant and handsome, my shijie tells me that all the time.” He smiled when Wen Qing rolled her eyes at that statement. 

“You’re also delusional.” When he went to complain, Wen Qing held up her hand and gave him a stern look before she glanced at their sleeping brothers. “I’ll wait until A-Ning heals, which will take longer, and then we’ll return to the Supervisory Office.”

He frowned at that and rubbed his nose. “Is that wise? What if they come looking for Wen Ning for helping us?”

Wen Qing shook her head then sipped her tea; Wei Wuxian shifted so he could lift the pot and refill her cup. “Let them come. I’ll tell them I’ve already handled his punishment.”

It took Wei Wuxian a moment to realize what she meant. “You’ll tell them that you removed his golden core for helping us.” He gazed at her in admiration, for being able to turn her brother’s sacrifice into something that would protect them both.

She nodded once. “It’s a way fo both of us to escape Wen Rouhan’s wrath without him being turned into a puppet or being tortured, and should keep him from being sent to fight.”

No one needed to know that Wen Ning had done it willingly or that Wen Qing would never treat her beloved younger brother so harshly, no one but the three of them. “We’ll still keep this a secret from Jiang Cheng.” Wei Wuxian had planned to not let his brother know about the transfer of golden cores when it was supposed to be his golden core sacrificed, and saw no reason for that to change now.

Wen Qing nodded again. “That’s likely for the best,” she said, which surprised Wei Wuxian since she’d argued differently before. “He’ll probably suspect A-Ning of some ulterior motive for giving up his core.”

Wei Wuxian didn't say anything, he merely pressed his lips together at the thought of how Jiang Cheng couldn’t see past the hatred for all Wens and realize how much the two siblings had done for them. Instead, he inhaled slowly and took the empty cup from Wen Qing’s slightly trembling hand. “Get some rest,” he told her. “I’ll watch these two for a few hours and wake you if there’s any sign of trouble. Sleep a little then you can check Jiang Cheng one more time before I go.”

It looked as if she wanted to argue, but Wen Qing was too exhausted from the golden core transfer to remain awake much longer. She examined Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng briefly then finally stretched out near her brother to sleep, unconscious within a few seconds.

Wei Wuxian brewed more tea and nibbled on a handful of dried fruit one of the Wen siblings had packed (probably Wen Ning) while he forced himself to remain awake. He would check his brother and Wen Ning every now and then, to reassure himself that Jiang Cheng’s new golden core hadn’t vanished and that Wen Ning continued to recover, then tried to distract himself with plans on what to do next.

He’d leave Jiang Cheng on the mountain with the Wen siblings to continue healing and go to Yilin to wait for him at the inn they’d agreed upon earlier. Once they both were up to it, they’d travel to Lanling to reunite with Jiang Yanli and look into the rumors of Qinghe calling the clans together for war. 

Oh, and at some point Wei Wuxian would have to let his brother in on the secret about his lotus seed, but one thing at a time. He figured he’d worry about that when he was far enough along that they couldn’t fight—well, that Jiang Yanli was there to keep Jiang Cheng from throttling him then attempting to kill Lan Zhan for ‘besmirching’ his ‘honor’.

“Ah, lotus seed, it may be small but it’s a wonderful family you’ll have,” he whispered while he rubbed his belly. “Your aunt will spoil you with the best food and your uncle will fight off anyone who dares to look at you the wrong way. You certainly will be loved.” He thought about the stranger he’d met at the market in Yunmeng, right after he’d realized he was pregnant. Somehow, the woman had known about his condition when not even Madame Yu had figured it out, and had gifted him with the beaded charm bracelet he now wore on his left wrist, which she swore would provide protection to him and his child. She also had said that his child would be a powerful cultivator and that she had an old soul, the woman’s expression wistful as she talked about the unborn babe. 

Wei Wuxian wasn’t one to take such prophecies seriously, but there’d been something about the woman, a quiet yet deep thrum of power to her, a reverberation of truth to her words, and a comforting sense to the bracelet, that he accepted the gift and bowed in gratitude to her before walking away. That and… well, who didn’t want to hear that their child would grow into a powerful cultivator? Not that he had many doubts of it happening, considering that Lan Zhan was the father. 

“I do hope you’re a girl,” he said as he glanced at a sleeping Wen Qing. “Someone like mom to give those stuffy Lans fits.” He didn’t think that Lan Zhan would try to force any claim on the child if the truth came out, not when there was no mating bond between them nor marriage, but there would be less pressure on the Lan clan’s heir if Wei Wuxian bore a girl; they tended to favor men as sect leaders, not women.

“You’ll be Yunmeng Jiang, just like me.” Wei Wuxian smiled as he thought about a young woman robed in purple, her long hair held back with a red ribbon. Would she have grey eyes like him and his mother, or golden ones like Lan Zhan? Best if they were grey, he decided. He hoped she would have his mother’s smile, one of the few things he clearly remembered about her, and the sense of humor everyone said he had inherited from the woman. 

Mostly, he wished that his child never grew up like he did, starving on the streets and all alone, orphaned at a young age. He swore he’d always be there for his child, that they would never know such grief and fear.

When he felt as if he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer, Wen Qing stirred and slowly sat up. She blinked a couple times then whirled around to her brother, her hands seeking out the pulse point on his left wrist; after a moment, she sagged in relief then continued with the examination. While she did that, Wei Wuxian brewed a fresh pot of tea.

Once she had examined Jiang Cheng as well, he handed her a cup of tea. “Everything good?”

“Yes.” Her dark eyes narrowed while she sipped the hot beverage. “Did you get any rest?” When he shrugged, she set the cup aside and snatched at his wrist, only to click her tongue after a few seconds. “You’re very low on spiritual energy and nearing the limits of your body. You need to sleep.”

“I’ll get plenty, once I get to Yilin,” he promised, even going as far as to raise three fingers by his forehead. “I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t forget that you’re responsible for more than yourself now.” Wen Qing placed a hand over his growing belly and concentrated for a few seconds before she clicked her tongue again. “What the gods were thinking by making you an omega, we’ll never know,” she said as she turned away.

“That my children will be as beautiful, clever and adored as I am,” Wei Wuxian said after he stuck his tongue at her (while her back was turned, he wasn’t stupid). 

Wen Qing glanced heavenward as if beseeching the gods for patience, then shoved several things into a small bag. Once she was done, she handed it to Wuxan. “Chew on these on your way to Yilin. And be careful from now on,” she admonished, her tone harsh but eyes filled with concern, “because there’s not much else we can do for you.”

Wei Wuxian accepted the bag and gave her a deep bow. “I am eternally in you and Wen Qionglin’s debt for everything you’ve done for me and my siblings. If you need anything, you just have to ask. Anything.”

She sighed and tugged on the sleeve of his black hanfu to make him stand up straight. “I thought we were family now, there’s no need for such things.” Then she wrinkled her upturned nose. “That and it seems unnatural, seeing you act like this.”

“Aww, Qing-jie is- aiya!” Wei Wuxian stumbled backwards, away from the needles suddenly brandished in his face.

“Don’t call me that, and shouldn’t you be leaving?” Wen Qing gave him a cool look and didn’t put the needles away until he nodded.

She begrudgingly waited for him to say ‘goodbye’ to his unconscious brother then walked with him back to the trail which would lead down the mountain. Assured that JIang Cheng would be alright, as would Wen Ning, Wei Wuxian wished her ‘goodbye’ as well and went on his way. He discovered that she’d given him several small balls of herbs that tasted horrible when he chewed them, but helped push aside the exhaustion so that he made good time back to Yilin. 

Still, all he wanted was to eat a good meal, have a long, hot bath and then sleep for a day or two. He thought longingly about a few jars of wine, until he felt the charm bracelet slip along his left wrist.

“The sacrifices I make for you, lotus seed,” he said as he walked, struck by a strong pang of loss yet again for Subian; if only he had his sword, he’d already be in Yilin.

If only he had his sword, maybe things would have been different when the Wens had attacked Lotus Pier. 

Eventually, he finally arrived at the designated inn on the outskirts of Yilin; he was so tired, he hardly recalled much of the last half-day of travel. Perhaps that was the reason why Wen Chao found him so quickly, or maybe it was just a case of truly bad luck. All Wei Wuxian knew was that he’d barely sat down in the inn when Wen Chao, along with Wen Zhuliu, Wang Lingjiao and several soldiers, burst into the building.

He got up to run away, only to find Wen Zhuliu in his path; the man grabbed him by the front of his robes with his left hand, his right hand pressed against Wei Wuxian’s chest, before the bastard frowned and pulled the hand back to punch Wei Wuxian instead and send him flying through the air to land on top of a table. Exhausted and still drained of energy, both physical and spiritual, Wei Wuxian could do little more than curl his body in a manner to protect the child growing inside of it.

As soon as he regained his footing, one of the soldiers kicked him in the back, which knocked him onto the ground. Wen Chao, the smug asshole, trod on his right hand and taunted him, asking him why didn’t he get up and where his arrogance had gone. He was told to get back up, despite the asshole standing on his foot; eventually two soldiers had to haul him upright.

“Where is Jiang Cheng?” Wen Chao demanded to know. “What, you don't want to talk? You know you can’t save him even if you remain silent. Right now, Jiang Cheng is merely a waste. He’s no better than livestock.”

Wei Wuxian listened to the useless second son of the Wen clan insult his brother and the Yunmeng Jiang clan, as he was told to beg like a dog (a dog!) and crawl on the ground if he wanted to be let go (he knew it was a lie, did Wen Chao think he was as stupid as him?). Even Wang Lingjiao started yipping away as if she was of any importance.

Of course Wei Wuxian didn’t take them up on their ‘offer’ (blatant lie), so it wasn’t any surprise when the arrogant asshole ordered his soldiers to beat him; once again, Wei Wuxian curled up in a protective manner to protect his child as much as possible. Part of him wondered how the soldiers would react if they knew they were attacking a pregnant omega, before he decided that Wen Chao probably wouldn’t care about breaking such an important taboo (and he couldn’t risk the Wens finding out that Lan Zhan was the father).

The assault eventually stopped, only for Wen Chao to threaten Wei Wuxian as if he was anything more than a pathetic bully whose only real power lay in the weapons his father loaned out to him. There was a moment of fear when he called upon Wen Zhuliu to destroy Wei Wuxian’s core, but Wei Wuxian managed to talk his way out of it before the man moved to obey. He foolishly believed that might be improving (despite Wang Lingjiao slicing into his chest with that damn brand she never seemed to be without), before he was dragged out of outside and hauled into the air.

At first he thought they might be taking him to Qishan with the intent of throwing him in the dungeons there, but eventually Wen Chao, the pompous asshole, began talking about the Burial Mounds in Yiling. Wei Wuxian’s eyes grew wide and his heart raced when it became clear what was going to happen to him, but he was too battered and drained of energy to do more than attempt to struggle. Not a moment later, mocking laughter broke out as he was flung downward, toward the darkness and source of overpowering resentful energy that was the Burial Mounds.

Pushing all panic aside, he quickly cast a talisman for wind in an attempt to slow his descent; it worked somewhat, but he still rushed toward the ground. He tried another one, which seemed to have a greater effect (there was an odd heat around his left wrist for some reason), so he then cast his binding spell, the gleaming blue thread forming on his left wrist, which he cast out as he quickly approached what looked to be large trees. Be it by luck or the blessings of the gods, it managed to latch on to one of the tall, spindly structures. A sharp pain tore through his left shoulder when the line grew taut, but his impact upon the ground was lessened to the point that he didn’t die immediately.

No, he merely passed out.

He woke to the sound of screams, of voices calling out his names and cries of vengeance, and a wall of fierce corpses standing in the near distance. Surprised that he hadn’t been devoured by the undead creatures while unconscious, he noticed two things: that there was a glowing, pale blue circle around him and that just outside of it floated the sword he’d found inside the Tortoise of Slaughter and had placed inside his quankin pouch. Confused, battered both by resentful energies and what the Wens had done to him, Wei Wuxian managed to sit up somewhat, hunched forward as he felt for the spark of life inside of him that had been steadily growing the last few months. He almost slumped face first into the ground when he realized that his unborn child had survived everything (so far, a hysterical voice whispered in his head) by some miraculous means.

He needed to get his act together and ensure his lotus seed remained alright; that meant figuring a way to get out of the Burial Mounds alive, something no one had ever done. It was a good thing the Yunmeng Jiang clan’s motto was ‘attempt the impossible’.

He took in the bleak surroundings: the bones scattered everywhere and numerous gravestones, the mist which obscured his vision after a few yards, and a lack of sunlight which made it impossible to tell the time of day. There was the oppressive miasma of resentful energy along with the endless chorus of voices calling out to him, which he did his best to block out of his head. His right hand clutched at the bracelet around his left wrist while he attempted to concentrate, his fingers quick to find the gap from two missing beads.

Had they been broken in the fall? Or during the beating back at the inn? Wei Wuxian didn’t have much time to ponder what had happened to the charm since the intensity of the voices’ shrieking increased to a painful level, as did the pressure from the resentful energy. He struggled to fight against the insidious forces, but he didn’t have much spiritual energy.

However, he remembered that the odd sword had some sort of power to it, that it seemed tied to the ghostly voices in the Dusk-Creek Mountain cave. Or maybe he’d hit his head on something during the fall, or been kicked one too many times by those Wen bastards. The thing was, he and his unborn child weren’t going anywhere unless he did something, and right then? The sword seemed the only source of power around, which meant it might be of some help.

Or it might be one huge mistake, but Wei Wuxian didn’t have many choices available as well as a history of turning mistakes into his favor (well, mostly). 

He half-crawled toward the sword and only hesitated a moment to reach past the safety of the circle (where had it come from?) for the weapon’s hilt. For a moment all was quiet, and then the screaming came back in force.

Wei Wuxian

Do you want vengeance?

Young Master Wei

Stay with us

Hurt the ones who’ve hurt you, Wei Wuxian

Wei Ying

Do you want to stay?

What about vengeance?

The voices were so loud, so constant, as were their shrieks of pain and rage. He thought some of them sounded familiar, thought they might be the dead from Lotus Pier, yet he also thought he heard Lan Zhan say his name once or twice when he dwelled on the voices calling for vengeance. By the time he reached the sword, the voices were an incoherent cacophony in his head that funneled to one thunderous question as his hands wrapped around ice-cold metal.

DO YOU WANT VENGEANCE?

For a moment, Wei Wuxian could see himself standing in the Palace of Sun and Flames, surrounded by an endless sea of Wen corpses, the heads of Wen Rouhan and his sons mounted on pikes behind him. He hungered for the vision to come true, for the Wens to pay for what they’d done to the Jiangs and the Lans… and then he felt a faint flutter in his belly and heard Wen Qing chide him to take better care of himself.

“I… I want the power to protect myself and my loved ones,” he told the voice (the sword?). “To defend them from those who would cause harm.” Who had caused harm.

VENGEANCE!

He thought of Jiang Yanli and shook his head.”I want more than that for my child!” He didn’t want someone to come after her for what he’d done, he wanted an end to the fighting. “Protection!”

Child? 

A child. Home

Family

It was faint, but some of the voices seemed to be breaking off from the sword. “Yes, a child, my child. I’ll fight anyone to keep them safe, can’t you understand that?” To give them a happy, safe life.” I want to give them peace, not eternal war,” he pleaded with the sword and the voices. “I understand revenge, I want it, too, but not at the cost of my child’s peace. Help me give my child peace.”

Vengeance

Family, they took away my family

I only wanted a husband and child of my own

Wei Ying

My child was so young

Was he getting somewhere with them? Wei Wuxian gritted his teeth together, his hands long turned numb from holding onto the sword, and offered the voices (the dead) a consoling smile. “Help me, and I’ll help you,” he promised.

*******

Somehow all my italics got messed up. Grrr.

So, the a/b/o here - it’s more lowkey than in other fics, if you can’t tell, and basically comes across as how people reproduce. People don’t put down omegas as being weak or lesser, it just means they are more fertile than betas and can bear children (and so usually have a protected status, especially when pregnant). An alpha/omega pairing will produce the most offspring, but other pairings can technically produce them as well, just with less odds of success. That means no one looks down on WWX for being an omega, though they’d chastise him (and his partner) for having a child out of wedlock and for him not taking care of himself while pregnant. That’s more to deal with the value placed on family and honor than anything.

No obvious scenting, either, at least not until one is in heat/rut, and it’s considered normal for people to take daily medicine (tea or the such) to lessen the impact of them if not put them off all-together, and to prevent unplanned pregnancies.

Also, I’m probably going to skip most honorifics except the immediate family ones. I’ve only the very beginning knowledge of Chinese. Please forgive any mistakes there along with the culture, I appreciate any corrections.

And I promise, a new chapter of Casts a Shadow up this weekend!

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts & Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Odd Eye”

oh mY F UCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

OH MY F UCKING GOD THE SONG WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THIS??????????? DEAD ASS?????????????? THAT BEGINNING SOUND ALONE TRIGGERED MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT AND THEN IT JUST CALMS DOWN YET MY BRAIN IS ALREADY F UCKING LOSING IT- ITS THE GUITAR ALL THROUGHOUT AND HOW I JUST HEADBANG WITH EVERY HIT OF THAT DRUM OR WHATEVER THE F UCK FOR ME- pls calm down okay i just……………………… leez…… ollounder…………… i oWE YOU MY LIFE- the way the prechorus is so FAST???????? like whaT IN THE ACTUAL F UCK the way it hypes me up with that instrumental the DRUMS GOT ME BOUNCIN AND S HIT AND GET SMACKED IN THE FACE ODD EYE I SWEAR TO GOD I FELT A NEW EMOTION AFTER THA- AFTER THIS WHOLE SONG TO BE HONEST-

THE?????????????? LINE DISTRIBUTION?????????????? IS SO SE*Y?????????????? THE IMMENSE POWER IN SIYEONS AND YOOHYEONS VOICES I CANT- ACTUAL SUA RAPPER CRUMBS idc what yall say minuscule sua rapper crumbs THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG AND DAMI LINES IS F UCKING DELICIOUS 😩😩😩 HANDONG VERSE CHORUS AND BRIDGE?????????????? DAMI BRIDGE??????????????? ‘LIVE IT UP’?????????????? BICTH IM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

forgot to do this for boca so imma do it here kinda

YES YOOHYEON START THE SONG

THE AMOUNT OF HANDONG?????????????????? I CANT BREATHE??????????????????????

and ofc her ooOOOooOOO-

sua rapper crumbs idc idc-

YOOHYEON AND SIYEON BEING QUEENS OF CHORUSES AGAIN ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE GO👏OFF👏

jiu ‘no more utopia’ AND sua ‘no more utopia’ pls took me three (3) tries to type ‘utopia’

LIVE IT UP YOURE SO RIGHT QUEEN YOU BETTER RAP YOUR HEART OUT

JIU AND HANDONG CHORUS

THE F UCKING BRIDGE CHANGED MY LIFE

okay for the dance i will be using the mcountdown fancam BC I DO WANT THE F UCK I WANT 👁👁 I JUST WANNA SAY i lit rally CANNOT believe how stable they are dancing LIKE THAT™ thE POWER THEY HOLD ANYWAY as always the dance always S L A P and is literally impossible to dance to without feeling like youre absolutely f ucking d*ing and out of breath……………… LOVE THAT

THE BEGINNING EYE FORMATION ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

im delusional but lowkey deja vu clown me idc idc-

THE SUA RUNNING OUT OF THERE THE JIU THE COMPLICATED HAND STUFF

JUST👏THE👏CHOREO👏FOR👏THE👏CHORUS👏BICTH

siyeon doing this

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

putting a bullet point for just that one (1) second of dami doing That™

handong right after…………………………………

gahyeons part with the other members doing different moves my eyes liked it

THE ENTIRE BRIDGE I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE

like jiu and dami with handong ive literally watched that for five hours-

i just like the way they lined up and needed it to be linked here

THE SPIN THAT K*LLED US ALL

THE KICK THAT SENT US SIX FEET UNDER

S C R E A M……………………………………………………… Iconic™

DO YOU SEE THE BUDGET IN THE VISUALS JESUS CHRIST- the f ucking set up all of the effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of the lights!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all of thE GLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the black and white set and theyre wearing red…………………… the red and white set and theyre wearing black…………………… that purple and green place…………………… the tree and random nature but everything is so futuristic looking…………………… dunno why yoohyeon is in a graffiti covered restroom but im LIVING for it- SIYEON SURROUNDED BY THOSE TVS DAMI IN THAT TRAIN THAT MULTICOLORED PLACE WHEREVER SUA IS EXCUSE ME- I COULD LITERALLY NAME EVERY SCENE IN THIS DAMN MUSIC VIDEO AND THEY👏ALL👏SLAP👏HARD👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

TIME TO SHOW WHICH SCENES I LIKED

THE WHOLE F UCKING THI-

jk ill name some😊😊😊again id name everything but ill just show one i liked more than others bc this is alreADY TOO DAMN LONG-

this is self restraint btw

I FEEL THREATENED-

helL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND IF I CRIED????????????????????????

this is here for no reason other than bc i wanted it here-

OOP-

OOP- x2

………………………………… F-

WHY OFC I HAVE TO PUT THIS HERE

ABSOLUTELY…………………………… ABSOLUTELY

OH F CUK-

it was this or the close up shot either way it k*lled me

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

😦

OH NO-

OOP- x3

😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

honestly let me just mention i really clowned and set myself up for heartbreak bc the album is only called ‘road to utopia’ but i assumed theyll find utopia bc thats how trilogies work but then this slaps me in the face- what im saying is im 🤡

T H E M

oK A Y SO THIS POST IS LONG ENOUGH ALREADY LIKE GODDAMNIT COULD I JUST SHUT UP FOR TEN (10) MINUTES PLS- SO HERE ILL JUST SAY ONE (1) WORD………………………………………………

W O M E N™

plus this truly is long enough good god-

JIU

OH BICTH SHE GRABBED ME BY MY NECK RIGHT AT THE START WHEN SHE JUST POPPED UP- lemme just talk about this screenshot for a second the STREAKS IN HER HAIR and THE PIERCING???????? THE JACKET???????GOOD GOD????????? L I S T E N her outfits during the dance scenes the R E D especially jeSUS- its that red one for me im pretty sure some of yall saw me go F E R A L™ on the dashboard about it so i WILL NOT go into it again- and theN THAT DRESS A F CUKING QUEEN LOVE TO SEE IT

SUA

ONCE AGAIN I HAVE TO BRING UP THE VERY START WITH THAT SLOW MO- RED👏IS👏HER👏COLOR 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏  the dark hime cut………………… the choker on both the red and the black is it the same one doesnt matter im d*ad……………… yo her wavy hair and that dress when it looked like she was in some hair shampoo commercial bicth i liVED FOR THAT- and theN T H I S YES THIS THAT IN THE SCREENSHOT the leather and the jacket the writing on her face i waNT HER TO BEAT ME WITH THAT LIGHT-

SIYEON

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IM LITEREALLY CRYINNG

I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED EVERY TIME SHE WAS ON THE SCREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls breathe yes i see that orange coat with the collar and her two different colored eyes and how she is sitting in that chair i see her looking so fine in that red outfit especially near the end of the mv oh mY GOD- those pants yall bringing that style back from boca literally let me bREATHE FOR LIKE TWO (2) SECONDS

HANDONG

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LISTENLISTENLISTENLISTEN my eyes legit started tearing up when i saw her so soon in the mv yall DO NOT understand the emotions im going through to rewatch this mv again and again anD- iiiIIIIiiII CANNOT FULLY EXPRESS MYSELF BUT I JUST WANNA DIRECTLY MENTION THOSE CRYSTALS AND HER HIGH PONYTAIL SHE MADE F UCKING SURE TO SHOW OFF HOW POWERFUL SHE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOOHYEON

YOOHYEON WITH BUNS??????????????????? THAT LIPSTICK COLOR RIGHT AT THE START???????? THAT OUTFIT WITH THE RED PLAID SKIRT????????? like when you REALLY look at the outfit the polkadot jacket and the tie makes not a lot of sense but she made it woRK!!!!!!!!! okayokayokay her lip ring and dance outfits lets talk about it to be honest its something about that chain that hangs on her torso that makes it really hit………………… but like the entire outfits HIT™ she ripped her pants didnt she

DAMI

I CANT STAND THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tell me why for literally one (1) second of that ‘live it up’ it snapped my neck???????? it was HARDLY A FLASH OF LIGHT YET IT WAS ENOUGH TO HURT ME- i prefer her short hair but listen the longer hair is making so many points rn- i think i said that for boca too… SHES LITERALLY SITTING YALL AND YET HERE I AM- the jacket the necklace the gloves and then that dramatic spin and the leaves OH MY GOD- DID YALL👏SEE THE WAY👏SHE KEPT👏FEELING👏HER NECK👏👏👏👏👏👏👏!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAHYEON

GAHYEON THE WOMAN YOU ARE- i wanna start with the black hair and thee stickers look bc i wanna buT WE LOVE NOIR BY SUNMI but like i love that look like overall????????????? she literally wears the same outfit for that and this screenshot but the vibe is so different i LOVE this purple color she got going rn and that black hair IS A STATEMENT imma be more open here about it but lowkey i am genuinely missing her dark hair rn- anyway THAT DESIGN AROUND HER EYE WITH THAT RED OUTFIT BRUH DO I D*E-

BONUS TIME: B-SIDE TRACKS (short thoughts and parts i liked)

Intro

IVE NEVER BEEN SO FERAL IN MY LIFE

Wind Blows

this instrumental……………………… holy god????????????? its chill for like a second in the beginning and then it just YEETS you in- imma be real i wasnt sure about that ‘wind blows’ part i dunno why i ……… into it at first but yknow whaT THATS ONE OF THE BEST PARTS DAMIS RAP I SWEAR- but then the prechorus parts are so chill??????????? is it bc its handong its probably bc its handong ‘always be with you like gravity’ siyeon pls- it gives me the same energy as tension and break the wall where i feel like i jusT GAIN ALL THE STRENGTH AND CONQUER THE WORLD yes i saw the dance multiple times it k*lled me every single time

Poison Love

literally what the f uck- when i heard it in the highlight medley i knew i was gonna LOVE this like i cant stand how much i love their sexy bops like dami got me immediately ‘why do you?’ YOURE RIGHT DAMI WHY DO I- you could NEVER go wrong with lower register dreamcatcher NOTHING👏CAN👏GO👏WRONG👏 DAMI AND GAHYEON THEIR RAPS JESUS CHRIST i put my hand on my heart i was so taken aback- maybe i went back to replay it a few times when i was listening to it and then handong……………………………………………………… UH ANYWAY-

4 Memory

JIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOVE THE HAPPY AND BOUNCY AND FUN BOP OF THE ALBUM- like ive said this to a few moots that this song just makes me happy and lifts up my mood its the little instrumental parts in the chorus for me i dunno what it is its just pleasant to my ears and then damis rap is so fun like :cccccc cute- like this is a song about the seasons and wanting to be with someone (well jiu help write this is this about like insomnias or am i a stupid clown-) like i REALLY WISH i could express how much i enjoy this song but i would just be repeating myself that its a feel good happy song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New days

DAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIKE i dunno how to describe the energy this song holds except ‘friendship energy’- its literally the guitar all throughout the song for me LIKE i feel like im just wrapped in a nice hug BUT NOT JUST ANY KIND OF HUG its the kind that the other person opened their jacket and theyre holding me and their jacket is around me listening to this song yall i kinda wanna cry i dunno- everyone sounds so lovely especially jiu pls her voice is so soft and DAMI OFC HER RAP GETS A HELL YEAH™ FROM ME like the ‘find you’ AND THEN AT THE END ‘FOUND YOU’ IM 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 (if yall cant see its the pleading puppy eyed emoji)

LIKE WHAT A WAY TO START THE F UCKING YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so in awe of everything about this as SOON AS SOON I SAY i saw the very first photo teaser and i COULDNT STOP LISTENING TO THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY AND THE TEASER WITH THE SUITS AND THE DRINKS IS STILL LIVING IN MY HEAD- alright alright ill calm down for this part but its one of my FAVORITE ALBUMS FOR👏SURE👏 like i really cant think of any criticisms regarding anything about it!!!!!!!!!!!! since im posting this after promotions are over (odd eye promotions anyway) i will just say im EXTREMELY proud of what we have accomplished as fans and what the girls have achieved during this era!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was hella wild all around and i am once again saying that im very happy to be an insomnia <3<3<3<3<3<3<3

and ONCE AGAIN JUST ONE (1) MORE TIME RIGHT BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 

IN CONCLUSION: THIS ALBUM TAKES ME TO AN ENTIRELY NEW WORLD AND IM GONNA LIVE IT UP

AND AS ALWAYS:

[berrykook]

can’t bear it (y!hs)

set in the overtime universe

in which hoseok is just trying to help you understand that he knows what’s best for you and you feel yourself start to slip

contents: yandere!hoseok, kidnapping, “gaslighting” / manipulation, vomit, gore / mutilation, good/bad little girl rhetoric

word count: 3.7k

a/n: thanks for the request !! i had fun writing it heheh

i’m tagging gaslighting in quotations because i feel like hoseok is like,, KiNdA gaslighting but pretty lightly

also idk why my mc’s always be throwing up LOL it’s just for a second i swear

my inbox is open for yandere requests! i do not write non-con, hitting (punching, slapping, etc.), or ddlg / ageplay (in this fic i included good/bad little girl rhetoric because i thought it would make hoseok seem more spooky but otherwise i do not write ageplay --- use of word daddy is ok)

lmk what u guys think!

*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ ゜ﾟ*☆*ﾟ 

Your stomach softly growled as you stared down into your takeout box of noodles and studied the way the sauce doesn’t cling to some vegetables. Hoseok ordered your favorite again, but you couldn’t remember ever loving this dish. He must have been referring to the time before he brought you to live with him (an incident in which your head was hit very hard).

Hoseok stared at you like he always did, refusing to eat until he saw you take the first bite. He sat with his hands folded, watching you and your hazy mind work through dinnertime. All you had to do was pick up your chopsticks and eat, but something in you could not bring yourself to do so.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Not hungry?”

Whether it was intentional or not, Hoseok’s tone never came out of the woods. He spoke slowly in low tones as if he was always ready to pounce on you. You wondered if he spoke to his employees the same way.

You gingerly picked up your chopsticks.

“You haven’t been eating well lately. Is something wrong?” Hoseok is wringing his hands now. You began to stare back at him.

You remained silent for a long moment before saying clearly, “Yes. I don’t feel well.”

Hoseok clicks his tongue, rising from his seat across from you to sit next to you instead. He rests his hand on yours. Hoseok wasn’t overly affectionate which you were lucky for at the beginning of this relationship, but you now felt touch-starved and undesirable. He held an immense amount of power over you and he knew it too.

“What’s wrong? Talk to me,” he mumbled, placing a palm against your forehead. “You’re not warm. I seriously doubt you’re sick, you never are. Tell me what’s wrong, please.” He leaned in closer.

You held back a huff of frustration, knowing how angry he got when you weren’t his perfect little girl. Hoseok knew exactly how to get under your skin and scare you shitless. If you weren’t careful and deliberate with every motion, every phrase, every word, he would catch on in a heartbeat and do whatever it took to show you he owned you. It only took three days in his basement for you to confess your love for him and start begging to be let out.

You fidgeted nervously, quickly glancing at the front door behind Hoseok. He hadn’t let you out in nearly six months and as much as you loved him, you were beginning to get antsy.

Hoseok was scary, but treated you well. He thoroughly explained on several occasions how much you needed him and how he loved you so deeply that it was in his very nature to keep you protected from the world like this. He even let you free from being chained in his basement after only a couple weeks, which was awesome! Hoseok never called himself your boyfriend, but you figured he was close enough. He fed you when you weren’t being bad and he recited his love for you often. It terrified you when you first met that time you woke up in his basement, but with time you found yourself believing him more and more. This was not living, but you were becoming so far gone from your past that it seemed like perhaps this sheltered life was what you were meant to receive.

Hoseok studied you deeply, noticing immediately how your eyes darted behind him at the front door. He sighed, mentally preparing himself to pull out all the stops to get the idea out of your pretty little head.

“Mm, baby, are you bored? Did you want to go outside?” He smiled a bit, stroking the back of your head and looking at you sweetly.

Immediately, you furrowed your brows and gripped his hand tighter. You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off.

“You must be tired of being cooped up in the house all day...don’t you want to see what’s out there?”

Hoseok stood up, placing a hand on your back to guide you up as well.

“H-Hobi, I don’t need to. I don’t mind staying inside…” you said bashfully, tugging his hand to lead him back into his chair.

His smile was wide like the Cheshire Cat’s. He reached to hold your face by your chin.

“No, I’m sure you must be going crazy being in here all day. Let’s go outside. Maybe you can run around a bit so your appetite can return.”

You weren’t stupid. You saw from the windows that Hoseok lived in a deep forest and made a lengthy commute each day to the city for his work. Perhaps Hoseok was feeling particularly sadistic today. You had been on your best behavior as of late - you listened well, ate when you didn’t feel ill, wore what he chose for you, told him you loved him and cuddled him and let him kiss you. His obtuseness came completely out of left field. You were the best little girl you could be - it made no sense.

“Hobi, I’m really hungry now. I would like to eat.” By the end of your statement, you were whispering fearfully as he was now leaning in close enough to kiss you.

“Don’t be silly. I saw you looking at the door. Come on,” he tugged you along, bending to tie your shoes for you.

“Hoseok, I really think I should go eat, please. I don’t want to go outside, it’ll be cold and dark and we’re in the forest, pl-”

“You know you want to leave. Don’t you? Wasn’t it only a few weeks ago you were saying you wanted to leave me?”

You’re crying now. “No! Please, I don’t want to leave, I love you, I swear! Hobi, I’ve changed!” Hoseok ignores your cries, pushing you out the front door with a smack on your ass.

“Be back in an hour, sweetheart. I don’t want the wild animals to find you.”

He slammed the door in your face and you began to hyperventilate for a moment. You knew he didn’t retreat from his spot at the door and he could clearly hear your cries. How did just looking at the door for a moment lead to this?

You spent a few minutes on your knees, bawling into your hands on the front porch. The tall forest prematurely made it nightfall at the ground level. After another few minutes, something caught your eye deeper into the woods. You stood slowly, hoping you were correct.

It was a car. A parked red van within walking distance of Hoseok’s house. Your legs moved on their own towards it. You were certain it didn’t belong to Hoseok as you kissed him goodbye from outside his black sedan each day. The drive to get away from Hoseok kicked in like a horse as you began running towards this car, desperate for help or some more information on where in the country the house was. If you were lucky, somebody would be in the car.

You were close enough to read the license plate when a searing pain shot through your leg and burned every cell in your body. You fell forward, coughing up a bit of your stomach after. You screamed for a moment, but then your body stopped taking in air effectively and you were left on the ground like a fish out of water.

You sobbed, desperately searching for a switch or button to release the contraption stuck around your ankle. Just a few yards from the car, chained to a tree was a steel bear trap that you stepped into perfectly. The claws dug well into the flesh on your leg, pouring blood over the forest floor as your heartbeat became erratic. Its jaws were locked far too strongly for you to pry apart. The house was barely visible to you now as the sun set completely and you were utterly stuck by this soccer mom van in the middle of god knows where.

The clock continued to tick as your hour of “freedom” was coming to a close. You wanted to throw up again at the sight of yourself. You nearly called out to Hoseok for help, but restrained yourself quickly. He was right - he always was. He was right for keeping you inside the way he did. You couldn’t even run half a mile into the forest without getting caught in a bear trap. The clinking of metal chains reminded you of your time in Hoseok’s basement and how cold it was and how hungry you became. You were hungry now as well, even through the nausea, and you let out a sad cry as your stomach growled angrily again. If Hoseok ever saved you again, you would eat everything he put in front of you with gusto. You leaned your head against the thick trunk of the tree you were chained to and watched the bugs on the floor crawl by. Your heart twinged as you missed Hoseok after just an hour apart. You felt you were no better than the insects you were watching. 

The pain in your leg was unlike anything you had felt before. You knew it was unrealistic to die from a bear trap, but you felt like you were at the brink. You had long since given up trying to claw the trap apart, stopping when the third of your fingernails split. The blood from your ankle made its way all over the white sweater Hoseok had picked out for you that morning. Hopefully an actual bear would come by and put you out of your misery before Hoseok could come by and chastise you for getting your clothes dirty.

Eventually, you heard his voice through the trees. “Sweetheart!” His voice sang and you panicked at the thought of how angry he would be that you got yourself hurt. You saw a light coming from the direction of your house and you braced yourself to soon be found.

You didn’t have the energy to yell back at him, so you waited for him to find you instead. Hoseok was smarter than you would like to admit and he obviously already knew that you wouldn’t make it far. Yet, he took his sweet, sweet time searching for you.

Eventually, his flashlight landed on your chest and you looked away, nervous to see him. He sighed.

“Oh, baby...look what you did,” he tsked. He stood above you with his hands on his hips, shaking his head. He made a noise of disdain when your lower lip began to tremble. “Hurts, doesn’t it? I would help make it all better, but you’ve been such a bad girl lately. I thought you knew better than to go outside, but I guess you just couldn’t listen to me.”

You covered your mouth to hide your snivelling. “I’m s-so sorry!”

“I know you are, baby. See, if you listen to me and stay inside like a good girl, then these things won’t happen. What am I gonna do with you?” Hoseok bent down to face level with you, still sitting against the tree trunk shivering in immense pain. “I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, and earlier you sure made it clear that you don’t want to be in my house with me…”

You sobbed, reaching to hold his shoulders. “No! I want to go back home and be with you. I’m sorry for being ungrateful, I just want to be with you!” Hoseok clicked his tongue in disapproval.

“Is that really what you want, baby? You really want to come back and live with me?” Hoseok spoke slowly, letting you marinate in the ache of your calf. He knew you loved him. Putting you in solitary confinement for the first two months was more than enough for you to worship the ground he walks on. Some days, he just needed to tease you a little.

“Yes, please. I’m sorry, I’ll never leave you, I swear.” Hoseok stared at you with a smile before taking your face into his hands and kissing you for a long moment.

“Good. Jin-hyung is going to help you with your leg, okay?”

Hoseok fishes in his pockets before pulling out a silver key and unlocking the chains around the tree.

“Wow, baby, you must have really run into this trap for it to have closed on you so hard...we better take it out in the house.”

You stared at him in shock. “This...this trap was yours?” Hoseok smoothed the top of your head.

“Everything on this land is mine,” he hissed with a sweet smile. 

“B-but, I’ve never seen you drive this car. And why do you have bear traps!? You don’t hunt, Hoseok!” You are steadily becoming more hysterical and Hoseok sighs, hugging you to him. You holler at the pain of him shifting your leg.

“Baby, this is Jungkook’s car. You remember him, right? He’s taking his fianceè to Busan soon and they’ll need a car to hold their kids someday. He’s keeping it here because his apartment only gives him one parking space.” Hoseok kisses your cheek, rubbing your back when your crying intensifies. Ah, he’ll need to bring you back home soon before you lose too much blood. “You can understand that, can’t you?”

Hyperventilating on top of a foot caught in a bear trap had you lightheaded. You rested your cheek against Hoseok’s shoulder. “How am I supposed to get this off my foot?” You sobbed.

Hoseok cooed, rubbing your back a little harder. “I thought you knew what’s best for yourself...since you’re such a big girl and you always take ca-”

You cut him off with a wail. “Hoseok, please help me! I’ll die here, please!” He hissed at your yelling on his shoulder.

“Shh, stop that! Ah, I guess I can try and help you get back to the house. I thought you didn’t need someone like me…” Hoseok got started on unchaining the trap.

“No, I-I do need you! I’m sorry, I’ll never act out again…” you mumbled ashamedly. Hoseok heaved you up with a pained scream from you. He kissed your cheek in a lame attempt to calm you.

“Yeah? Are you going to be my good girl and stay inside the house?”

You cried a bit harder when he said this, remembering how you bawled on his front steps after he shut the door on you.

“Yes, I promise,” you whimpered.

“Good. Jin-hyung will be here in an hour to help fix you. Shh, don’t cry, I know it’s a long time,” he whispered to you. You cried all the way to the house and all the way down the concrete stairs to Hoseok’s basement.

“I don’t like it here, Hobi, please...can’t we go somewhere else?” Hoseok calmed your weeping by playing with your hair.

“This is what’s best. I’m here with you, my love...remember I love you so much.” He kissed your forehead softly. “We’ll get you out of this mess.”

You wrapped your hands around the sheets of the bed Hoseok placed you on and writhed in agony.

“It hurts,” you mumbled, still crying softly.

Hoseok cooed, “Aw, my baby…”

The anger within you began to rise like a tidal wave. Perhaps it was being back in this bed under Hoseok’s house, or perhaps you were finally understanding the lengths Hoseok would go to in order to claim you. The throbbing in your ankle aligned with a new throbbing in your head. Hoseok lay with you on the bed you woke up chained to all those months ago when he first took you. It took three strokes to the top of our head for you to snap.

“You did this to me,” you whispered, turning your face away from him.

Hoseok stopped stroking your hair as if he had just been doused with cold water.

“Huh? Say that again for me, baby, I didn’t quite hear you.” Hoseok tangled his fingers in your hair. You braced yourself for a harsh tug.

“This is your trap. I didn’t even want to go outside. I wasn’t even being bad.”

You didn’t force yourself to look at him as you spoke. You couldn’t even remember the last time you had stood up to him...was it recent? Wasn’t it during those first three days in his basement? It felt like a dream.

“I’ve been perfect these last few months. You kidnapped me yet I have been perfect for you! I didn’t deserve this!” You were steadily becoming hysterical. It felt good to let yourself become unraveled after weeks of living complacently in his clutch. Hoseok still hadn’t said anything, still keeping his hand gently against your scalp.

“How could you do this to me? I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me and you put me in a bear trap for what? Not eating my dinner? I didn’t eat because you make me sick!”

At this point, Hoseok began calmly rising from the bed and making his way over to your trapped foot. You barely noticed, too wound up in your angry rant. You didn’t care anymore. There was just no right way to be Hoseok’s victim, and there was no hope for escape either. You were surrounded by miles of forest and the only communication with other humans was Hoseok’s equally repulsive friends and two of them were moving across the country soon. You envied them and their stupid red van and happy little life. You had only met Jungkook and his fiancèe once, but they seemed to love each other deeply. You once wished for something like that, at least before Hoseok came into your life.

“You stupid motherfucker! Piece of shit! Fix my fucking leg, you asshole!” Hoseok watched you yell with blank eyes before cracking a slight smile. He chuckled, adoring the way your tongue was so sharp.

“Are you done, sweetie?” He massaged your calves. The pain in your foot almost felt as hot as the rage bubbling through your veins at the moment.

“You’re going to burn in hell for what you’ve done to me. Son of the devil,” you hissed.

Hoseok grinned wordlessly again before placing his hands on both sides of the bear trap and releasing its jaws with a manly grunt. A scream ripped through you, dying into dry sobs after a moment. You supposed it was good that he did it when you were furious and the adrenaline was pushing you off the edge.

Hoseok was panting heavily. “Baby, did you know that some animals gnaw their own limbs off to free themselves from bear traps?” You watched with a glare as he fiddled with the contraption. You prayed that he would be offended enough to just kill you already. “I haven’t seen it happen myself. Some hunters find bear traps inhumane for that very reason. I understand. The animal has done no wrong, correct?” The shoddy lighting of his basement cast a shadow over his face.

“I can’t imagine how it would feel to be so helpless like that...so scared and alone...you must have felt that way back in that forest, huh? Baby?” You refused to entertain him any longer. Hoseok was being oddly soft-spoken and gentle with his tone. It wasn’t often that he brought out this voice.

“You must be so upset, huh? Scared, maybe even suicidal. You might even feel like a lost cause.” The trap snapped back into its original open position with a clang. “I’ve never viewed you that way. All I’ve ever seen you as was my perfect girl, even when you weren’t being so good. I never lost hope in you. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to snap out of it and love me too and fucking mean it.” His tone turned angry for a second, but he quickly shut it down. You stared at how he held the open trap with such expertise.

“You might think you were being so careful and good, but I see right through you. I just know you so well, baby. I knew deep down, there was still a part of you that defied me, even though I just wanted you to be your best self. I knew there was still some part of you left for me to crack apart and mold to include me with it.”

You were much more dizzy now.

“I’m doing this for your own good. So we can be happy together.”

You caught on with a start, sitting up quickly. You couldn’t even get one word out before Hoseok swiftly grabbed your good foot with a heavy hand and positioned it on the plate of the open trap. He jumped back, successfully evading the teeth of the trap which were now clamped around your other foot.

You let out a gut-wrenching scream. Not only did you scream from the pain of the bear trap, but also from the pain of the cold basement, the pain of the thick woods that surrounded the house. Hoseok watched you thrash on the bed as if you were possessed. Both of your ankles poured out blood and soiled the white bed sheets you lay on.

“Honey, be careful! Look at what happened to the sheets,” he tsked. “Ah, look at what you’ve done. How did my silly girl manage to get caught into two traps in one day? What am I gonna do with you?”

You began bawling again as Hoseok remained standing over you. His voice remained sickly sweet and you found yourself yearning for him to taunt you with his usual nasty tone.

“I want to die,” you weep. Hoseok seemed affected by this for a second before reverting back to his calm stance.

He silently came back around the bed, placing a kiss on your forehead once more before making his way up the concrete stairs. You thought about calling out to him for a moment, but ultimately decided not to. Hoseok shut the door behind him, not bothering to lock it. You wouldn’t be able to walk anyway. He made his way to the kitchen, stretching as he did so, and opened a cabinet in search of some tea. Your cries were barely audible over the hum of the microwave heating his water.

[nunukibebe]

Solid

WARNING: swear words and alcoholic beverages, oh my!

Jooheon/Reader

Yes! My first Monsta X story... Thing. (Idk what you call these). I love them as much as I love Ateez, so I had to share this with y'all. Just something cute and fluffy while I'm sicker than a dog and hacking up a lung.

For @one-hunnit

-_-_-_-_-

8:57 PM: "Joojoo, can I crash at your place tonight pls?"

9:22 PM: " yaeh ill be in l8tr"

9:30 PM: "Same code?"

10:12 PM: "duh."

10:15 PM: "Brat."

10:48 PM: "loser."

SIX HOURS LATER

Staring in silence as your friend stumbled into his apartment, not bothering to hide the huge yawn that split his face in two, you held a hand to your mouth to keep from laughing out loud as he dropped his duffel bag on the floor. Shoulders drooping as he let out a sigh, he sagged slightly before shaking his head and straightening up. 

Not for the first time, you could see the circles under his eyes and the pinched look to his mouth that he hid well. Hand resting on your upturned knee, TV remote dangling from your fingers, the show you'd been watching paused the second you'd heard the locks beeping open, your eyes followed his figure as he kicked off his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket. As he slipped on the ridiculously orange slippers he loved, you tilted your head, waiting for him to realize you were there.

You'd been expecting him to be late, but 4 am had rolled around with no sign of him, so you'd gotten comfy on the couch, sneaking in a chance to burrow in his hoodie, the item already large on him, it swamped you. It was a much needed security blanket at the moment, and you snuggled deeper into it as you fought a grin when a stumble from your friend had him finally coming back to reality. The second his eyes landed on you, he lept backwards as a scream of fright left his lips, a leg in the air as he faked a kick.

Unable to help the snort of laughter that escaped, you waved a sleeve covered hand at him as he waved his hands in front of him like the ninja he most definitely was not. Cheeks twitching slightly as you tried to keep your laughter in check, you couldn't help the teasing tone from your voice when you spoke.

"You forgot I was gonna be here, didn't you?"

"Jesus FUCK, you scared the shit out of me!" Jooheon panted, a large hand clutching his chest, fingers digging for his heart as his other arm supported his weight from where he leaned on the arm chair, knees still recovering from the scare.

"I'll take that as a big, fat no." You snickered, batting away the glare your friend sent your way, blue hair falling messily in front of his eyes, which were dull with exhaustion.

When he finally decided to just collapse into the armchair, you wrapped your arms around your knee, other leg crossed underneath you and the blanket you'd dragged from Jooheon's bedroom. His eyes latching onto the familiar black hoodie, a tired eyebrow was raised and you shrugged, taking the opportunity to flap your sweater-paws at him. His snort of amusement used his whole body, and you flipped him your middle finger, sinking back into the couch cushions as Jooheon sighed again.

"I am sorry I forgot though." Jooheon apologized, a hand brushing through his hair tiredly before he brought both hands down his face. "We had to get a dance practice video out." He explained and you shrugged again, cutting him off when he tried to apologize more, ever the kind hearted person.

"It's ok." You assured him with a small smile. "I knew what I signed up for when I became the best-friend of an Idol."

"Best-friend? You sure about that?"

Ignoring the muttered comment you caught coming from your friends mouth, you decided to be the more mature one and settled for sticking your tongue out, kicking the blanket off as you stood up. Legs instantly breaking out into goosebumps as the fall weather gave the air a crisp bite to it, you shivered and padded barefoot to his kitchen, calling out over your shoulder as you went.

"Need a drink?"

"Yes please!" 

Rolling your eyes at the vehement reply, your hand switched direction mid course, fingers grabbing a beer can instead of a bottle of water, instinctively knowing that it was what he was wanting. Pausing as you straightened up from the fridge, you glanced at the beer in hand and then back to the five that remained before grabbing one for yourself.

After the week you'd had, a beer at 4 am with Jooheon was just what you needed.

"Hands up." You called as you walked back towards the living room, and when a hand appeared over the back of the arm chair, you didn't hesitate, tossing one of the beer cans without a second glance.

The snap, hiss and crack of the beer can opening was enough to let you know he'd caught it and you sniggered under your breath as you sank back down on the couch, drawing the blanket back over your legs. Opening your own beer, you took your first swallow of the strong beverage, wincing as the aftertaste hit your tongue, exaggerating your expression on purpose.

At that Jooheon had to laugh, his first belly laugh since he'd stepped into his apartment and you felt a spark of joy light up inside you as your friend perked up a little. You knew his job was draining, even though he loved it, so when he actually made the effort to carve out time to see you, you tried to be like a human battery, transferring your energy to him via stupid jokes and silliness. And in some way, he repaid you by being a solid presence when your foundations felt weak.

And they definitely felt weak tonight. Work had been brutal, co-workers had been bitchy and people you'd thought were friends had turned out to be backstabbers. You needed the solidity he offered.

"Yah, why the frown?" Jooheon called softly, breaking the small moment of silence. Shaking your head, bringing yourself out of the brief trip down unpleasant memory lane, you forced a smile on your face as you looked up from where you'd been staring at the beer can. Fingertips fiddling with the tab, you caught the concerned dip of his eyebrows.

"It's been a rough week is all." You really didn't want to talk about it, and Jooheon knew it. He could tell by the way your shoulders tightened and how your knuckles went white as your grip on the can tightened. So he shrugged it off and decided to wait until you brought it up.

"Well, I'm going to take my beer to the bathroom and take a quick shower." He announced instead, groaning slightly as he picked himself up off the armchair, plush mouth pulling taut as his muscled pulled, and you frowned again, this time in worry over your friend.

"4 am shower beer?" You questioned with a snort as Jooheon smirked at you, raising his beer in a silent cheer, to which you raised yours in return, calling out after him. "Classy!"

Smiling as you took a sip from your drink, Jooheon's laughter echoed down the hallway before the sound of his bedroom door shutting ended it and you sunk deeper into the cushions, pulling your knees up as your free hand brought the blanket up around you, eyes staring blankly at the space between you and the TV. Mind rehashing the previous week, flashes of arguments flashing across your memory relentlessly, the phantom pain of being backstabbed was ever present and it demanded to be felt.

And that was how Jooheon found you, staring at the still paused TV screen, fingers sliding around the rim of the beer can, the small muscle in your jaw jumping as your mind raced behind your eyes, and not for the first time he found himself entranced as your face reflected your thoughts. Knowing of no other way to help you other than to distract you, he leapt over the back of the couch and settled himself on the cushions, damp head resting in your lap.

"Pet me." He whined with a pout, tone firm as though he wouldn't take no for an answer, and when you raised an eyebrow at him, he poked a finger into his dimple and you slapped a hand over his mouth before he could pull out the baby voice. "Mmph!" His voice muffled, you snickered as you knew he'd just cursed at you.

"You're such a child." You muttered under your breath, not bothering to hide the smile as your fingers complied with his request, burying themselves into his hair, fingernails lightly scratching at his scalp. Your friend simply stuck his tongue out at you before turning his attention to whatever show you'd been watching, now long forgotten.

As Jooheon started to visibly relax, you could see his eyes start to droop as you ran your fingers through his hair, eyes stuck on watching the blue strands brush over your skin. If Jooheon was a cat, you were pretty sure he'd be purring right about now, and you stifled the chuckle that rose in your throat with a swig of beer. For as long as you'd known Jooheon, he'd always needed to have some form attention at all times, and while at first it had annoyed you down to your last nerve, it had grown on you.

So much so that it wasn't at all uncommon to see him lounging just like he was now whenever you were at his apartment. Or whenever you were simply around. If he met you for coffee, he'd drag you to the most private part he could find and sweep you up in a bone crushing hug before draping himself across your shoulders.  Smiling to yourself as you remembered how you used to hate his bear hugs, you had to admit that you loved them now. No day was fully complete without a hug from Jooheon.

Blinking in surprise at the sudden thought, you couldn't help but recall all the times you'd fight against the hug and Jooheon would just hold on, that damn smirk playing on his lips. Of course, you always ended up leaning into the hug, grumbling and muttering under your breath as Jooheon laughed, squeezing you tighter, arms stuck to your sides so you couldn't swat at him.

Stuck in the memory, a pleasant one for a change, you let it play on, the familiar bubble of some unnamed emotion that always grew in your chest when you were around Jooheon spreading a giddy warmth through your body. 

Of course, as soon as Jooheon did let you, you were right there with a solid punch to the shoulder, grumbling under your breath when it always seemed to hurt you more than it hurt him. And Jooheon always reacted, pretending it hurt even though you knew it didn't. The scene was vivid in your mind, it occured so often that it was like watching a movie that only you could see. 

So when the memory of Jooheon smirking at you, that puckish glint in his eyes as he uttered the one line he always said after he'd annoyed you, the one you'd never really payed attention to because you were so busy being frustrated with him, came up in your mind, it was crystal clear and you finally heard the words.

"You know you love me."

Feeling those words like a punch to the tit, your chest felt like it caved inwards as they echoed in your ears and you swore your heart stopped beating for a minute. Closing your eyes as you sucked in a breath through lungs that didn't seem to be working, you pressed a hand to your chest, surprised at the rapid beat as literal lights went off in your heads, points finally connecting in a heart shaped pattern.

A soft sigh broke the silence that had engulfed the two of you, and unable to help it, you looked down and swallowed, hard. Jooheon was staring up at you, the flashing TV light throwing odd shadows dancing across his face, and a little voice inside your head, sounding more and more familiar, remarked that you'd never seen him look so handsome.

"You would suck so bad at poker." His words were soft, affectionate even.

Sitting rigid as though your spine had turned into a rod of steel, you couldn't bring yourself to look away as ,slowly, the emotions crossing his face started to make sense.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Brain tripping over your tongue, you forced your vocal cords to work, hating that all you could manage was a whisper. 

And then Jooheon smirked as he reached out to tug on one of the hoodie strings, eyes roaming across your face like he was reading his favorite book.

"Watching you think is more entertaining than television. Every thought you have plays across your face when you get lost in your head. It's like you have your own little language in facial expressions."

Words dying on the tip of your tongue, you watched, frozen, as he reached up to trail the back of his fingers down your cheek, his touch leaving a blazing trail his eyes followed. You knew Jooheon well enough to know that he wasn't done speaking, and you were proved right, a little burst of pride in your gut, when he spoke again.

"I'm glad you finally figured it out." He muttered, eyes hooded as he looked back up to your eyes, still keeping his head in your lap.

Almost as if he knew that as soon as he moved you'd be up and running.

"Figured what out?" Happy that the words came out clear, you bit your tongue to keep from making a sound when Jooheon chuckled low in his throat, the real version of the one he did on stage and was in his sexy persona.

"That you love me, you idiot. I was waiting for you to catch up."

[tarithenurse]

All is fair in Love & War - 5

Pairing: Loki x reader Content: Everything. We’re talking violence and killing (though not detailed), angsting, illness, fluffing, scheming, master/pet, citrus fruits (one sided...but detailed), probably a lot more. But hey! No swearing! A/N: This is a semi-AU in the sense that it is in a sort of medieval/fairy-tale setting, but Loki and MCU’s version of Nordic mythology still applies. I’ve taken the liberty of tagging people who’ve reposted, but if you do want a tag pls let me know.

5. Limits

You hear the shouting but cannot be bothered to look around for what is happening. Only when the noises turn to screams do you attempt to sit up although each movement makes your head pound and spin. It takes a few tries and by then it is quieting down again but you still struggle to open your eyes that have begun crusting together, dry like your mouth and throat from too long without anything to drink. Squinting through the haze, you can see someone slumped on the floor in the hallway. Is the place under attack? Slurred thoughts dance in and out of your mind, constantly eluding focus although a part of you attempts a certain optimism in the midst of your weakened condition. Perhaps the Midgardian forces have been able to finally move past Loki’s defenses? Someone will find you, bring you home? They can’t. The rejection surprises you, although not as much as your own silent laughter, and you collapse back into the bed just as someone enters the room.

The voice is familiar. Strangely comforting. Gentle hands examine you and lift you into the arms of the person. Black hair. Soft words are cooed as encouragement to cooperate, but they are not needed as you neither can nor want to resist as a glass is pushed to your lips and the cool content dribbles in. Greedily you suck at the rim, slurping the liquid into you as if your life depends on it…which it does. That is why you whine as your caretaker stops administering the drink.

“Mmm-mo…” Despite your efforts, your voice falters.

The man, because it is a man, has understood you anyways. “I know, but we must take care, pet. It seems  you have gone too long without wet or dry and we do not whish for you to get worse.” He returns you to the warm embrace of the furs, allowing you to drift in and out of sleep.

Each time you wake he is there. Tending the fire, proffering sweetened water and later broth for you to drink…or simply sitting by the bedside watching over you. As your health returns, so too does the knowledge of what has happened and who is playing nurse. It should make you wary. Instead it comforts you. Soon, you can sit up in bed unaided and eat solid meals which Loki himself brings you, and you actively strife to regain you strength through exercise in the brief moments the captor and guardian leaves the chamber.

It is after one of these intervals, where Loki has been gone for a while, that you decide to find out what happened. He has brought paper and thin, bark-wrapped sticks of charcoal for you to practice your writing while he himself sits nose deep in a book. Crooked letters and raw sketches of people only you remember litters the page before you…however, one is a figure slumped against the wall.

“Lo-your highness?” No fault in staying on his good side. He hums in a manner you interpret as a go-ahead. “When you came back…what was happening? Was the keep under attack?”

Green eyes bore into you as if to discern what you know, but eventually his face transforms into an emotionless mask. “It was not,” he offers coldly, “however I expect any servant of mine to follow my commands. Failure to do so has consequences.”

“But the screaming, sire?” The small hairs on your arms and neck are standing to attention.

The smirk is dark. Gruesome. “Consequences.” Closing the book, he puts it down and comes to sit on the edge of the bed. “Understand this, my pet, although my servants do not understand much of what I do or why, they have been warned never to disobey me or mistreat anything belonging to me.” A cold hand pushes a strand of escaped hair away for your face. “Those at fault have been punished to set an example for the rest to understand that I, their new master, will tolerate nothing less than pure loyalty.”

As frightening as the words are, coming from a monster with the powers of a god, it is something else that catches your attention. “New master?”

The chuckle is surprisingly warm. “Yes. Do you recall we spoke of the Aesir-Jötun War?” You nod. “After the death of Laufey, someone else was sent to rule Jotunheim under the watchful eye of Odin. To ease the transition, a descendant of Laufey, but one who had lived his entire life in Asgard, was chosen. In blood from Jotunheim. In allegiance…to Asgard.”

The schemes of royalty and their rich allies had never been something you spent much time considering. Things were as the were and you could do nothing to influence the events either way. Still, listening to Loki, you can see the strategical value in the choice. You can also see that his whish to be called king is not as far from the truth as you had hoped because the king of Asgard would undoubtedly back up the claim.

“That’s where you went while you were gone…back to Asgard…”

Reaching over, Loki takes the writing tools from you and puts them aside on the dresser before returning to his spot. He sits in silence. Perhaps he’s contemplating what to say? You can feel his gaze burning on any part of you that is visible from the furs as if he is evaluating your condition, assessing the effect of the treatment he is subjecting you to – successfully. Though still emaciated, there is a healthy glow to your skin and your body is beginning to seem a bit fuller. Not much, but enough to help you stay warm, stay awake. He has taken better care of you than you would have expected when he first caught you.

When Loki finally speaks, it is with a severity that startles you. “[Y/N], what are your thoughts on the war between our nations?” His hand is resting on the fur where your knee is hidden beneath.

It is strange to hear your name on his lips, but that (as well as other of the names he calls you) is becoming endearing. “I…” You pause, because frankly you do not know what to think anymore. “It seems that I don’t know all there’s to know…” An image of a commander sleeping in a tent stirs in your memories. “That we, us common soldiers, haven’t been told the…the entire truth.”

Instead of pulling away when he reaches for your hand, you allow him to run his thumb over the knuckles while he talks about the journey that he has been on to visit outposts and fortify the defenses at the front, to meet with allies and spies to attain information crucial to the campaign. According to the god, things are going well, and the Midgardian armies have been forced to retreat in many areas with a minimum of losses on both sides. Perhaps he’s lying, you think, but a part of you objects at that notion. From the little you have seen just of Jotunheim, the hosts at Utgard alone would make short work of the scattered companies trying to cross the border.

You fall asleep to his soothing voice, drifting into a dreamless slumber peacefully.

…   LOKI’s POV   …

[Y/N]’s breathing has slowed to a steady rhythm long ago, but he still finds himself sitting on the edge of the bed, holding her thin hand. I should not be this soft. And yet, how can he not want to care for this fragile, little creature that she is?

The moment he decided to spare her life, to turn her against her own king and utilize her, he also knew that he would have to treat her much kinder than it would be appropriate in the eyes of his own people. Violence and mistreatment would not be the way to get her to do his bidding. The fierce stubbornness should be guided, not be broken…it is too endearing anyways. And that there is the problem. Somewhere, during her time as his captive, he had begun to see her as more than just a tool and a body he normally would ravish, take repeatedly until he would grow bored and then throw away. The day he returned and saw what his servants had done, he had feared for the Midgardian’s life and it had sent him into a fit of rage. A desperate panic had fueled the violence as he sought out every single one of the people responsible for [Y/N]’s care. And after he was done with them and had tended to the woman’s immediate needs, he had scoured the palace for any who had known of the disobedience. He saw to it personally that they were tied up in the courtyard and then he flogged them. The message could not be clearer: do not betray your king’s trust.

A sigh escapes the sleeping woman, bringing him back to the present. Turning in her sleep, she holds on to his hand and a tiny smile graces her full lips for the first time. She may be a mortal, but the power she is beginning to hold over Loki is unsettling and he knows he will have to do something about it.

…   READER’s POV   …

Day by day you grow stronger and take to pacing the room and seeking any other sort of exercise possible within the chamber. Naturally, it cannot stay hidden from Loki for long, but he seems pleased with your initiative rather then scolding you for pushing yourself and he even walks beside you the length of the corridor and back several times to study your prowess. Dark patches stain the floor as though pools of dark liquid have seeped into the wood, and you try not to think of what it must be from although you know beyond a doubt. Frighteningly, your captor seems not to be the slightest bothered by it. His eyes are fixed on your form sweating under the sudden change in activity, and when your legs threaten to give out under you, he is there to hold you in an almost tender embrace.

“Well done, my pet,” he beams at you with sparkling eyes, “I believe you deserve a reward.”

Without further ado, he lifts you in his arms as though you weigh no more than a kitten and carries you all the way to the bathing hall where he perches you in one of the chairs before calling for water.

Since you were left to die in your room, this is the first time you see anyone else besides Loki and you cannot help to feel a certain apprehension as the servants begin to hurry to and from with buckets of steaming water, but none of them dare glance as you as long as their master is present.

The door closes behind the last one, leaving you alone and safe with the god. I shouldn’t feel safe. Yet, you do…until he stoops by you to remove your shawl. Clinging to it, you are painfully aware how little strength you have left to oppose him, but rather than enforce his will with violence he kneels to meet your frightened gaze.

“I understand, little one, but you have nothing to fear.” Slowly, he reaches to cup you cheek in his cold palm so gently that you find yourself leaning into his touch. “Allow me to help you.”

This time you do not object when he begins to undress you, carefully avoiding touching your bare skin until you sit before him completely naked, arms pressed against your chest to shield your self from his eyes as much as the prickling air. With a quick movement he lifts you like a child once more, holding you so close against his chest that his heartbeat is strong through the silk of his blouse in the few seconds it takes to carry you to the large tub.

A sigh escapes you as the warm water engulfs you, sending shivers of pleasure through your body. For a moment that is your entire world: the scalding cocoon of liquid and Loki’s hand still supporting your back. You can hear him rummage with the bottles of scented oils and soon the aromas of pine needles and lavender fills the air around you, luring you to relax and lean back with closed eyes. A part of you prompts you to cover yourself while the god washes your face and hair before moving along the shoulders to each arm with lazy circles of a sponge.

“Move forward so I can scrub your back.”

Silently, you obey, gripping the rims of the tub for support as you press against your thighs to rest the chin on the knobbly knees. There’s soft splashing of water and you feel the waves kiss your face, still it is not before you feel two strong limbs slither past you on either side in the tub that you realize that Loki is sitting behind you, his legs barely grazing you skin. A hot fear rolls over you, stealing your breath in the process. Flashes of memories present themselves in quick succession: the tight grip on a throat, wandering fingers across breasts, and the hard erection pressed against comparatively small body. But it is the sponge that touches upon your back, stroking in lazy circles to allow the oils and herbs in the water to affect the tense muscles.

At some point, he hands you the sponge, prompting you to clean the last areas. Happy to be allowed to see to cleaning your private parts, you do as you are told, deciding in turn not to object as cool hands massage your shoulders. Somehow, as your own hands move downwards, you find yourself leaning into Loki’s embrace, smothering a moan of appreciation at the sensation of his chest against your bare back. Reaching between the folds at your core, you cannot be bothered to be surprised at the slickness there that not even the water can completely rinse away. I shouldn’t want this…but it is needless to chastise yourself for the smoldering need and growing trust that has arisen between you and the god.

Strong hands move to your hips, pulling you flush against him with no effort to even attempt hiding the stiff cock that presses into your lower back, coaxing a tiny gasp from you. Cradling your head, he lowers it to his shoulder, granting a view of your body disappearing into the milky waters.

“Let me ���” a soft kiss on your jaw punctuates the sentence – “make you –“ this time the kiss lands below your ear – “feel –“ on your shoulder – “good.” The last kiss is on your neck, making you sigh in delight.

Loki is surprisingly gentle as he explores your curves. The big hands that have grabbed with near untamed strength on other occasions are now stroking and massaging every inch of skin, often favouring your breasts and the tender nipples that happily perk in response to his ministrations. The first soft moan escapes you when cool finger dance on a hidden path from hip to apex of your thighs. A shudder of anticipation and apprehension runs through you as Loki strokes along the folds while nudging your legs apart with the other hand before it returns to cup your breast.

The god is skilled with his hands. Playing you like an instrument, he soon has you creating the most sinful sounds and arching under his touch as waves of delight rolls through you each time he strokes, circles or adds pressure all the right places. More often than not, he slips a couple of the long fingers inside your burning core to find new ways of calling forth waves of growing sensitivity. Your own hands can find no rest until you bury your fingers in the black tresses to pull yourself closer to him and you feel a growl reverberate in his chest, feel his cock twitch against your back. Whatever the simple action has released in Loki, you feel the shift in his body and in the way he holds you tighter while kissing and nibbling at your neck before finding your lips.

That’s how you topple over the precipice. Lips locked in a first kiss, his arm possessively holding you to his chest, and his finger playing with every nerve of your core. You ride out the orgasm on his hand. Each guttural moan swallowed greedily by the god.

…

What have I done?

Somehow, you had managed to fall asleep after Loki had carried you back to your room, but you woke up before sunrise and found yourself unable to chase away the many self-reprimanding thoughts that woke with you.

Pulling the shawl closer around the shoulders, you dig the last embers free from under the ashes and add kindling with practiced hands. Soon, the flames are dancing eating happily off the firewood, casting long shadows that leap and dance with each flicker. I shouldn’t have let him.

Dressing yourself is bothersome due to the silly ribbons and impractically flowy sleeves (even though you’ve carefully chosen a dress with as little embellishment as possible. If this is the fashion of noble women, then you are more than happy to remain a plain girl from the country side. In the little village by the quarry, there is no room for these delicate fabrics and frilly laces. I should never have left – look at me now!

Then you make the bed and sit to practice the writing, carefully tracing each letter to spell out your name, Midgard, the capital Sjöblik, and Jotunheim (although you are fairly certain you must have gotten that one wrong: J-O-O-T-U-N-H-A-Y-M). Running out of names, you start scribbling your thoughts onto the paper, allowing your memories of home to guide you until you grow frustrated with your own lack of speed. Words are slow and clumsy, you feel, and the charcoal begins a different dance across the page to depict the jagged mountains so high that the snow never leaves the pinnacles. The darkness of the forest skirting the slopes rubs onto your fingers, finds the fine lines of your hands to nestle in before becoming smudges on anything you touch. Filthy.

The part of you that is an obedient Midgardian who has been raised to serve her king unquestionably feels a suffocating guilt that makes the bile turn in your stomach. As long as you remember, everything in your life has been a question of what the king needs to secure the country. Your father worked for many years in the quarry together with your two older brothers until the captain came to the village and drafted them to the war. But the king needed his taxes regardless, so your mother took over her husbands work while you kept tending to the livestock (both your own and the rest of the villagers’).

It wasn’t enough.

Next year when the tax collectors came, they took the old cow, the handful of sheep and all but one scrawny chicken. Unless you could get to town regularly to buy food, then you would have to hunt or fish. But hunting was forbidden, and even if you had had the money the town was too far away. So you went to the quarry with your mother one morning, and while the workers went to their daily task, you sought ought the foreman hoping to be accepted as a day labourer. That’s when it happened. The rumble of falling stones overpowered every other sound, the earth shook, and you knew. You just…knew. You did not need to run to the site of the collapse for any other reason that find the one or two survivors. Without warning you were alone.

That’s why you had left to join the king’s army. Maybe, you had thought, you would be lucky to find your father or brothers or at least get news of them. Were they even alive? As it turned out, the probably weren’t because the battalions they had been in had been unsuccessful in their raids of what had been called the reclamation of Midgardian territory in the north.

Now you know better.

Well, if I can trust what Loki says.

If only you could find out more. Words spoken many months ago come back on dark wings. What once sounded like a threat from the god is now becoming a promise, a viable option to consider: become a tool, a spy to gain access where Loki or other of his allies cannot to learn what the Midgardian king and his supporters are plotting. Find the truth.

[yourneighbourpotato]

TWDG S4 EP 4 HIGHLIGHTS AND THE GREATEST BAMBOOZLE OF ALL TIME.

I'm kind of late to the party cuz I couldn't play the episode till now and I basically used way less social media trying to avoid spoilers so thanks walking dead. So yeah. Its a long post and I want it here, so I can maybe read it years later and cry like a little bitch.

-

Violet: fuck, you...

me: indeed, fuck. me.

-

*James gets pissed off at Clem for making AJ kill Lilly*

me: I DID THIS FOR YOU.

-

*meets violet*

me: fuck yes boo, ur alive and u here for me.

-

*Clem has a wholesome chat with boo*

me: *feels Light and happy and knows for sure its not for long*

-

*Clem negatively answers a little angry at Violet suggesting Texas as the new name for boarding school*

me: pls don't tell me the real villain here is going to be Clem, because she will lose it or some shit.

*Clem smiles at Texas 2 suggestion*

*me happy knowing Clem is fine and is just a little tired*

-

*hears the night will be over soon being sung*

me: omg omg omg omg is Sophie actually alive? Omg maybe Minera never killed her and Minnie actually still had a heart OMG. (BOY WAS I WRONG)

-

Tenn: you're dying

Minnie: yes yes I am, I'm finally going someplace better and I want u with me

me:

-

*Minnie chops Clem with the axe she used to kill walkers*

me: JFJSKSOFNDOSO

-

*literally seconds later Violet dies because I didn't trust AJ making calls*

me: FISBJEOGJSOAPFJKSLSKF FUCK ME

-

*RESTARTS THE WHOLE EPISODE JUST TO SAVE MY BOO, while wondering whether this choice will make aj into a murderer or a psycho and ill have to change my choice just so I'm a good parent*

-

*gets to the same scene again everything is fine and then the little mountain climbing scene*

me: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, I swear to god if she gets bit ill fucking kill myself.

*seconds later Clem gets bit*

*me in denial*: haha her boots are as hard as steel, and the zombie bit the beginning of the shoe not the cutten place where the wound is at.

*Clem verifies she's been bit*

me: *starts crying for the majority of the remaining episode* (like I cried so fucking mucg and I felt sick, I had to take a break and I felt so dead inside during it)

-

When AJ and Clem got into the barn, I still had hopes that like we have time and shit, (I even ended up replaying the sequence just to change my choice from kill Clem and let her become a walker because I thought what if that way she gets a chance to live and I don't end up accidentaly killing her) but everytime I'd see Clems skin getting whiter and whiter and I'd end up crying more and more. It was fucking awful. And then the whole lessons thing. Fucking hell. And when they cut the part where AJ just swings his axe at Clem I was like: don't do this to me, fuck no. Fuck off everyone.

-

And then I cry because its the Ranch bit and I'm like I don't want to do this anymore and then I see AJ traumatised and crying and then I cry and I cry once again they have their bonding moment.

-

And then it just cuts to AJ fishing and I didn't manage to get even 1 fish, but then it hit me, Clementines hat is still missing and I cried once again upon seeing it ROWING MERRILY DOWN THE STREAM (IF U SEE A LITTLE MOUSE DON'T FORGET TO SQUEAK) yes I did sing the E3 trailer song a little and I cried even more because of it. And I thought for sure Clem was dead, but I still had so much dumb hope that, hey maybe she's alive, hahaha, but like big part of me thought that it was not true and it never will be. And then TAKE US BACK starts playing and I start to cry again and fuck me. For the whole song I crossed my fingers hoping it wouldn't end just like that and it didn't. AJ got back and then CLEMS VOICE SAYS GOOFBALL and I thought oh no, he's hallucinating isn't he? And THEN I FUCKING SEE HER WITH THE LEG CUT OFF AND I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY I START TO CRY AGAIN.

I cried.

I cried so fucking much after the whole bridge part like Holy shit. And then everything turned out to be okay. Clem was happy, I was happy and just before putting Clems hat on the table I thought : everything has a beginning and everything has an end, right? And I teared up a little, but honestly I liked the way her story ended. Even tho I went through a lot of pain (I'm sure all of us did) UHHHH. I was so angry at Minnie that I wanted her to commit reverse birth :( but it's not really her fault, so then I wanted Lilly to commit reverse birth, but then. Once again. I realised its not her fault either. It's the fucking zombies and the way world is. Would Lilly kidnap kids if no apocalypse? Probably not. Would have Violet had a healthy relationship with Minnie? Maybe. Would have Clementine lead a happy life? Maybe. Would have AJ even been born into this world? Who knows. Would have Lee just ended up being a criminal never meeting Clem and maybe changing for the worse? Well, maybe. WOULD HAVE CLEM EVEN GOT A CHANCE TO MEET EVERYONE AND GET JUST AS CLOSE WITH EVERYONE? I sure fucking hope so. Lmao. There's so fucking much, I would create wattpad just to write what I feel about TWDG right now, cuz I feel a fucking lot.

-

I ended up writing a whole paragraph up there and I messed up the "highlights" order so yeah.

-

Clementine: I'm glad I trusted you to make the right calls, otherwise I'd be dead.

*me while crying*: the 30minute replay of the beginning was worth it. (or was it, maybe Clementine would just say, gomen goofball for not trusting you, I'm glad u made the right call or smt)

-

*me going through what Clem taught me*

"if your grandma is dying, stop watching cartoons." I fuckin died

-

Also this was indeed a greatest and worst bamboozle I had to go through. But I'm not mad. I'm thankful that Clem didn't die, because I'm more than sure I would have been extra depressed for at least a week or month.

So, thank you Skybound, Telltale. I fucking love you guys. ❤️

[laceymorganwrites]

Beyond saving

Word Count: 5,132 Pairing: Ban x Reader

Warnings: swear words A/N: pls don´t hate, I´m not happy with this either(Banlaine is my otp, still I´ll continue writing Ban x Reader, cuz readerchan deserves love too, kay?)

700 years ago:

Y/N´s POV:

“You were in the human realm again, weren´t you?” mother scolded me again, I had disappointed her again. “I didn´t mean too...” I tried to excuse myself, but mother´s hard expression wasn´t changing in the least bit. Her eyebrow twitched as her hand stroke my cheek harshly, soon I could feel warm blood dripping like tears. But tears didn´t come these days, I never cried, I knew how much my mother hated it when I cried, or spoke, or called her my mother. “Don´t lie to me, you worm! Always crawling in the dirt, you should be ashamed of yourself. This isn´t how a goddess behaves!” Maybe I don´t wanna be a goddess, I thought, but didn´t dare say a word. “Get out of my sight! You should be lucky I even tolerate you here, if you ever go down to those lowlifes again, it will be the last time I promise you this.” she threatened, I always thought she was weak for not killing me, but in the end, she chose a destiny worse than death for me. I never wanted to be a goddess in the first place, I never believed in race, I just wanted everyone to live together happily. Maybe my fascination for the humans came from my mother all along, she always spoke so lowly of them, I was just curious if they were really that bad.

I looked up at the sky, laying in the grass, letting my thoughts slip. Why did I always think about my mother? Or Zeldris? About all of the things that held me back? I was free now, I could do everything and no one could stop me. I could finally live with the humans, fairies and giants. I should be happy, but then I remembered that my sister and her lover died because of me. All the bad things always happened because of me. If I never caught the two of them, none of this would´ve happened.

“Little sister! Your mother searches for you!” I called for Elizabeth. Mother told me she ran away from me, because I scared her. I never understood why she wanted to drive us apart so badly, my sister and I loved each other dearly. The nighttime wasn´t far and I knew that mother wanted to prevent Elizabeth staying out so late. I found her in a cave with a demon, kissing. To say I was shocked would be far fetched, I just didn´t know what was going on. “Elizabeth?” I asked, standing in the entrance of the cave. Elizabeth and her lover rapidly got away from each other and looked at me. “I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to interrupt you” I wanted to turn on my heel and risk getting beaten by mother for not getting my sister.”Wait, big sis, this is Meliodas, the demon prince. He´s just like us, he also wants us to live together peacefully” she smiled from one ear to another and I swear, I never saw her happier. I smiled back at her, I just had to, her happiness made me happy too, even though I didn´t deserve it, but I was selfish and ignorant, so I took it anyway. I remembered this night so clearly, we three talked since then and I felt like I belonged. But like everything, I had to destroy it.

These past 2,000 years I came around pretty well, I lived with the humans and the giants, I helped build villages and cured illnesses. I watched empires fall and times change, my life didn´t feel like a curse, rather like I finally had the chance to contribute to something bigger than me. I had enough time to atone for my sins, the sin of being born. I lived every day trying to be a better person than I was yesterday. Soon I came upon the fairy king´s forest and stopped for a moment to think about what I had done: I had started the holy war. All the deaths were my fault. And even though it was over and the demons locked away, I felt their energy, they would return, I was sure of it. But when would it happen? And how could I prevent it? My feet subconsciously dragged me into the forest and I was met with the true nature of humans. Or should I say hunters, predators? They chased the fairies and ripped out their wings, the sight was gruesome to put at least. I heard a little girl scream for her brother and ran to her, embracing her. “You need to get away from here, it´s dangerous. The humans have come to haunt you” I explained the situation. “I know! It´s all because Harlequin and Helbram left. They trusted the humans too much, I always told them it was too dangerous, but they wouldn´t listen!” she shouted, tears streaming down her face. I hugged her tighter, before I let go and unsheathed my sword. “I`ll take care of this, you stay hidden until I´m back, okay?” I ran into the forest and slaughtered the humans who came to hurt the fairies. Then I got back to the girl who got threatened by another human I oversaw. “Let go of her!” I yelled, wielding my sword and the next thing I heard was: “We got ourselves a nice pair of wings!”. It was followed by dirty laughter and a warm fluid flowing down my back. I stumbled over and fell to my knees, the pain was like something I never experienced before, it felt like my body was turn inside out and torn apart. I don´t know what was worse: hearing the bones crack or the weight loss. I didn´t notice my scream or anything else, I passed out from the pain. I woke up to the girl crying and laying in her lap. She had bandaged my back and treated the wounds. “Are you hurt…?” I whispered and tried to sit up, but I just fell over on my face. The girl heavily shook her head and I was ready to aid her, but then she helped me up and hugged me again. “How can you think of me in this situation? You almost died!” her voice cracked and she started crying. I chuckled, before patting her head and putting an arm around her shoulder. “I can´t die, my mum made sure of that, so don´t worry about me. Besides, I don´t deserve it...again: are you hurt, little girl?” I cradled her back and she nuzzled against my bandaged chest. She shook her head. I smiled. “Good, what a crazy day, eh? What´s your name?” I asked. “I´m Elaine” she smiled, she was a sweet girl. “Nice to meet you, Elaine, my name´s (Y/N)” I introduced myself. In the next years she nursed me back to health and I got to know her better, one day we talked about her brother. We were stargazing as she suddenly hugged me and said: “I´m so glad you´re here, now I´m not lonely anymore” she smiled and I wondered what she meant by that. “But...there are all the other fairies...” I noticed and she looked glum. “I´m the protector of this fountain, my brother used to be king of this forest. He was by my side all the time, but as the humans came, he vanished. He just left me all alone. But now you´re here, so that´s okay” she told me. “I think I saw a fairy with a giant girl on the way here, after all I lived with the giants for a while...maybe it was him?” I thought out loud. “Why would he be with a giant girl? That´s even more dangerous than the humans!” Elaine exclaimed worriedly. I shook my head. “Not all giants or humans are bad...same goes for all races” I thought about all the good things that have happened to me after mother and the other goddesses vanished. “i can´t picture demons being good people, they´re hardly people after all” I laughed out loud. “The princes of purgatory are actually pretty neat, I´ve only been there for a day, but it was a nice day” I reminisced and then an idea rushed through my head. “How about I search your brother?” I suggested and Elaine looked at me with big eyes. “You would do that?” I nodded and added: “Only for you”. Then I jumped down the tree and walked through the night. It was sunrise when I reached Britannia, the realm dominated by the humans. In the very outskirts I stumbled upon a bar, the boar hat. “You open?” I dashed in and was met with emptiness. “Yup! Might not look like it, but we´re always open!” a merry voice said, something about it sounded familiar. “What can I get you?” Meliodas stepped out of the kitchen and  we both stared at each other for an awkwardly long while. “Where are your wings?” he broke the everlasting silence. “That´s the first thing you´re asking? I thought you were dead all this time! What happened to you?” I almost yelled. “You might want to sit down” he said and we sat down at the counter. Meliodas sighed deeply and frowned, a second ago I could swear he flashed the biggest smile on earth. “All I remember is waking up to Elizabeth´s dead body, it wasn´t until a few years later that I realized we had been cursed. I saw Elizabeth, alive and well, only that she couldn´t remember me or anything else, and when she did, she died three days later in front of my eyes. This has happened 82 times now.” he explained and it took me a while to take all of the information in. I stood up and hugged him tightly. “I´m sorry...” this was all my fault, if I´d never been born, then I wouldn´t have been married off to and didn´t need to be saved by them. “I´m so so sorry, Meliodas, this is all my fault...” I wished I could comfort him better, just do anything. He shook his head. “No, it´s not. If things were different back then, it still would´ve turned out this way. The holy war was inevitable.” he stated and I abruptly pulled away. “I´m gonna make this right!” I vowed and searched for a way to break the curse, consulting the most powerful magic users, but it all seemed useless.

16 years ago

Elaine´s POV:

My brother had left me and now my best friend too. She said she was going to search for my brother, but hasn´t returned in a few hundred years. I was tired of being lonely, left alone and forgotten. I had enough of protecting the forest, nobody would ever find it anyway, let alone steal the fountain of youth. Nobody could be this stupid, except for this boy who tried it since six hours. At one point I grew tired of defending the fountain and let it go, let him get it, what did I care? But what I didn´t expect was that instead of stealing the fountain he was talking to me. I didn´t mind it and added to the conversation. I caught myself talking about (Y/N) and letting my feelings for her run free, I told him how she was the first one I thought of as a friend and how she was always so kind and nice to me. I told him how she lost her wings trying to protect me, I told him how pretty and funny she was, but I didn´t know the story behind her sad eyes. She had only told me about the goddess clan, her sister and her lover, and her marriage, but never about anything that happened after that. She told me everything that happened up to 3,000 years ago, there seemed to be a gap which she didn´t tell me about, but I never dared ask. It felt good to talk to a stranger, I could just talk about all the things I could never tell (Y/N) or Harlequin. I felt relieved and even laughed with Ban. I thought it was funny how despite of his personality as a thief, he didn´t lie. He had the same sadness behind the eyes as (Y/N) did, he reminded me of her in many ways. For example., how he always looked into the distance, trying to search for something long gone. He was funny too, just like her. Maybe this was why I trusted him. He sat down at the edge of the tree and stared off in the distance again and I went to the other side where to my surprise a girl in a dress climbed up. “Shit, this ain´t easy in a dress...I totally underestimated the weight of this...” she mumbled to herself, pulling the hood of her cloak back, which was when I ran to her and storm hugged her. “(Y/N)!” I cried out. “You´re back! Are you okay? What happened? Where have you been?” I rambled. I would´ve never thought she would come back, yet here she was, but something was off. She seemed different, she didn´t hide her sadness behind a smile anymore and she had dark under eye circles, over all she seemed lost and hopeless. I was worried sick,  hoped nothing bad had happened.  “One second, Elaine. I´ll explain everything, but before that, could you help me out of the corset, I can´t breathe” she told me in a straightforward manner. Now that I looked at her closer, I could see that she sweated heavily. I nodded and went behind her, carefully undoing her cloak and revealing the upper half of her body in pulling the upper half of her dress off. Then I undid the laces of the corset until she sighed relieved and put her dress back on. “You´re the best” she stated and smirked. I suddenly remembered that I told Ban that he had to meet (Y/N) and dragged her by the hands behind me. “You need to meet Ban, (Y/N)! He came here today and talked to me, he´s really nice! I bet you´ll love him!” I chirped and (Y/N) suddenly stopped and looked at me sincerely. “Don´t throw around that word like it´s nothing” she coldly stated and I gulped. “Sorry...I forgot...”. She told me how she never knew love and swore herself to never love. “Love is stupid. If you´re loved, you´re cursed, you´re the reason for everything one does, the reason for their hurt and pain. And if you love you´re stupid too, because you´re selfish, you just get hurt all over again. The worst thing that can happen to someone mortal is dying when someone loves them” (Y/N) told me again, we always talked about love and her negative view on it, which apparently has only strengthened in the past decades.

Ban´s POV:

So this was (Y/N), she talked like she´s been through a lot, like her heart had been broken. Whoever did it, I wouldn´t let that bastard live. Elaine didn´t lie, she was a radiant beauty, the way she swayed her hips when she walked, the way she raised an eyebrow when she saw me, completely ignoring me after that. “You let a human get up here? Are you stupid! He could´ve killed you!” she yelled at Elaine, who looked at me apologetically. “He´s nice! I swear!” she defended me, to which I chuckled. It wasn´t so bad up here, until now I´ve lived in the dirty streets of villages which would be forgotten. Elaine and (Y/N) sat down next to me and (Y/N) still mustered me suspiciously, pouting a bit, which looked insanely cute. “Do you wanna tell me where you´ve been?” Elaine asked (Y/N), smiling in high expectations, but (Y/N) declined. “Not now...” she sighed and looked up to the sunset. I suppressed the urge to pull (Y/N) in front of me and rest my chin in her neck, whispering how lucky I was to have her. But I didn´t, then why did I feel like I knew her? Right, because Elaine told me about her, about her story. I wanted her. When the sun set and it got dark, Elaine got sleepy and went to lay down in the soft grass. (Y/N) put her cloak around her, serving as a blanket, I smirked at that action. To my surprise (Y/N) sat down next to me again and pulled her legs against her chest, so she could rest her head on them. “So you´re the goddess without wings, eh?” I asked and she ´tch-ed´. “I can´t believe she told you...” she muttered. “I´m Ban” I tried to start a conversation, but she blocked me off. “Don´t care” she simply said and frowned, staring at the stars. “Ya know, this forest´s pretty cool” I tried again and finally I got a reaction from her. She turned to me and looked as if I just said the earth was flat. “This forest´s build on blood, do you think that´s cool?” she spat. I grinned. “Wanna tell me about it?” I proposed and she sighed. “I´m not here for your fucking education” she said and I chuckled, she´d make a hot teacher. “Then why are you here?” I asked, still smirking. (Y/N) tilted her head. “Could ask you the same thing” she dragged the words in a threatening way. “I like it here, besides I don´t have anywhere to return to...” I casually told her and her expression softened a bit. “Me neither, sorry, you probably don´t care, it´s just...it´s not that bad not belonging anywhere, you know, you´re free, you can do and be whatever you want, you can travel the whole world...and I think that´s awesome...” her eyes glistened, I bet she thought about all the adventures she had. “I don´t believe you don´t belong anywhere, after all you got Elaine...” I told her, trying to cheer her up. She sighed and shook her head. “I´m just holding her back, whatever, I didn´t come to you to talk about Elaine...why did you come here, who told you about this place?” she asked me and I clenched my jaw. “Maybe I´ll tell you someday, but not today...” I brushed her off and she nodded, smiling. Why was she smiling? She fell asleep on my shoulder that night and in this moment I didn´t want her anymore, I needed her.

(Y/N)´s POV:

I woke up in Ban´s arms the next morning, he was still asleep and Elaine was giggling. “It´s not what it looks like!” I shushed her and carefully crawled out of our cuddling position to get to Elaine. “Told ya, you´d like him!” she playfully punched my arm. I rolled my eyes, grinning. “I don´t, more importantly, I can´t...because if I do, it´ll be the worst thing that could happen...” I thought about what kind of feelings Ban had awoken in me yesterday and quickly pushed that thought away. You couldn´t fall in love that quickly, besides it wasn´t even love, was it? I was overthinking again, but it didn´t matter, Elaine had dibs. With that realization my mind could relax, nothing of romantic sort would ever happen between us and it was good this way. “Elaine, I´m going to tell you something I´ve never told anyone before. I´m going to tell you about the holy war and where I was these past decades...”

Elaine´s POV: (Y/N) took a deep breath and then started to tell her story I yearned to know. “I wish it would´ve been different, I wish I never was born, I wish many things and blamed myself for everything bad happening, but in the end, I can do nothing to change what already happened. You already know my little tales of friendship and my travels, but I never told you about the holy war. I´m sure your folk has already told you about the events of the holy war, every child knows it, in every race it´s depicted as something they have won, when in reality it was an unnecessary bloodbath with many innocent deaths, the truth is, nobody won, nobody gained anything from it. It all started with the wicked schemes of my mother” she chuckled and choked back a tear. “She married me off to Zeldris, but told our folk that he had kidnapped me, they attacked purgatory at night, slaughtering even innocent citizens. My sister, her lover and me never wanted the war to happen, while my mother searched for a way for it to happen. My sister and her lover came to get me that night and we came here, to this forest...where we were met with such a chaos, it seemed like every race was fighting each other, and when it was over, all races were separated and lived alone. I remember it clearly, walking through the chaos, trying to find my sister, and when I did, it was already too late. Her lover died too and so my mother bestowed me with a curse. But my sister and her lover were cursed too, so I searched for a solution these past decades, but I couldn´t find anything...they can never rest assured...” (Y/N) broke out in tears and cried loudly against my chest, I could do nothing but hold her, nothing I could say would make her hurt go away. Now I finally understood why she had the view of love she had, why she seemed to hate herself.

Ban´s POV:

“I started a goddamn war, Elaine, and I wasn´t even able to save my sister...and I have to live with that. That is my sin. This ignorance, this violent wish for peace, we should´ve known it was insolent and would bring only pain and death...it´s all my fault….and there´s not a single thing I can do to atone for my sins...” (Y/N) was on her knees, trembling, crying and Elaine frowned, she had a determined look on her face, like she was out to kill everyone who would make (Y/N) cry. (Y/N) shook her head. “It´s nice that you want to cheer me up, it´s just...I can´t do anything to change what happened...there´s nothing I can do anymore, so it´s actually fucking pointless to talk about it, it´s too late anyways...” she sighed and smiled immediately afterwards. “But thanks for caring, I just hate talking about it, you know?” then she wiped her tears away and laughed out loud. “Gross! I haven´t cried in 700 years” Elaine chimed in with the laughter and then pinched (Y/N)´s cheeks. “You´re cute when you cry” she stated. (Y/N) gasped. “You´re the cute one, you cutie!” she tickled Elaine, who then giggled. “Kya! Stop it! I´m regretting telling you my tickle spots!” she laughed and tickled (Y/N) back. “Oh it´s on! Elaine, not there!” (Y/N) burst into laughter as Elaine tickled her hips, she let herself fall onto the grass and couldn´t control her laughter. It sounded like the sweetest song I´ve ever heard. “So, I´m cute, you´re cute, what about Ban?” she cheekily asked, now things were getting interesting. “Nah, Ban´s hot” (Y/N) said casually, I was so gonna get her. Elaine stopped her tickling and chanted: “Ha! I knew it, I knew it!”. (Y/N) clasped her hand on her mouth and then stood up. “Please don´t tell him, Elaine...” she pleaded. “Why not? There´s no shame in being attracted to someone” the girl said. “But, I can´t be with him...he´s mortal...I can´t afford to fall for him” (Y/N) looked into the distance, somehow hearing her say that made me sad. “As if you aren´t already are” Elaine smiled at (Y/N) who blushed and muttered “Shut up...”. I faked a yawn and walked over to the two. “Mornin´ lovelies...” I chirped, winking at (Y/N) who just frowned and looked away. “Good morning, Ban!” Elaine greeted me with her smile. I smiled back at her. “I´m going to town...want anything?” (Y/N) said, leaving us alone. “You heard everything, didn´t you?” Elaine asked and I nodded. “Yup” I popped the p, Elaine squinted her eyes at me. “Don´t play with her, or break her heart...she might not seem like it, but she´s a very loving person. You´ll never know what love means until you were with her” she looked up to the sky and smiled. “What´s that supposed to mean? Besides, I´m not really interested in her that way...” I raised an eyebrow, dragging my words a bit. “She doesn´t love often, suppressing every emotion of that sort, especially towards mortals like you, it´s in her nature, a safety habit formed from her mother´s abuse...but when she does, she gives it her all, I couldn´t stand her having her heart broken...she´s so devoted, she´s not used to receiving, so she gives and gives and gives, she´ll eventually break on it...” Elaine looked sad. “You´re really worried about me breaking her heart, huh?” I put my hand on her shoulder. “She´s my best friend, she´s always been there for me, I couldn´t stand it if her heart were broken, I wouldn´t know what to do...I´d be utterly useless, but maybe I´d understand her better this way...” she thought out loud. “You´re a great friend, Elaine” I smiled at her. In the next few days I kept my distance, I could understand how painful it must´ve been not being able to love, because everyone you´d love would die in the end. But one day, as she went to town again, I couldn´t stand it any longer and went with her. There we sat down and I did something I never did before, I opened up about my past, I let her see a part of me which nobody ever saw before. “I heard about your sister, I had a sister too, ya know? But she died too, guess I just wanna say I´m sorry, kay?” I wasn´t good at comforting people. (Y/N) sighed and looked me in the eyes with an unreadable look. “Why are you telling me this?” she pleaded. “I wanna get to know you better, I never told anyone bout my sister before, but I feel like I could tell you. I dunno what it is about you, but whatever it is, it draws me in, and I can´t escape it...fuck...I know this sounds weird, cause we don´t know each other, but that´s the thing, I hate talking bout myself, but I wanna tell you everything which made me who I am today, I wanna laugh with you and just...enjoy your company I guess...I wanna get to know you like nobody ever knew you before...sorry that was weird...I´m an idiot” I rambled, why the fuck did I do this? (Y/N) stared at me for a while, before taking my hand into her own. “Yes you are...this will never work...you know why” she smiled, a sad smile, but a smile. “I´ll just take the fountain of youth” I said, I don´t know what´s gotten into me, but I didn´t want to have a quick thing with her anymore, I enjoyed the idea of us being together, forever, the last people on earth...”No! No, you won´t. I won´t let you, there´s nothing worse than to live forever, believe me. Don´t burden yourself with eternal life because of a girl who intrigues you” she grabbed my shoulders and looked me dead in the eye. “But I don´t wanna die, besides, no one´s destined to be alone forever” I spilled my secret like it was nothing. (Y/N) rested her head on my shoulder. “Yes, I am destined to be alone together, that´s the sole purpose of the curse, that´s why it´s called a curse. I have to wander alone with my thoughts, knowing just how badly I fucked up...because it´s what I deserve. And I chose to live with that. About the dying thing, there´s no need to worry, death is better than this” she chuckled. We headed back in silence, all words had been spoken.

(Y/N)´s POV: All my life I had done my best to ignore and avoid all feelings of love, and there he comes and just doesn´t care. It´s like a challenge from my mother, fall in love with him, I dare you. And I did, like I never did before, but that was a good thing, because I never felt this feeling before, I could easily tell myself that it wasn´t love. From afar I could see smoke rise up to the sky and the nearer we got to the forest, we could see the gruesome scene of the forest burning. “Demons...” I muttered and got  a hold of my sword as we ran towards the forest. “Shit!” I cursed, the smoke made my eyes burn and it was hard to see. We reached the top of the tree and I saw Elaine laying on the ground, blood leaving her small body. “Noooo! Elaine!” I sprinted towards her and held her fragile figure in my hands, uncontrollably crying over her dead body, I couldn´t believe how this could happen. It was fine in the morning, but now everything was in chaos. I got flashbacks from the holy war and looked around anxiously, but I couldn´t make out any demons. That was until Ban started spitting out blood and a hand was coming out of his chest, leaving a hole. I grabbed my sword, tried to keep my cool and not fall down on my trembling legs and then dashed onto the demon yelling and cut out all his hearts. As I was done, I looked around, I saw a dead Elaine and a dead Ban, and the fountain of youth...without thinking I ran to the fountain, grabbed it and let myself fall onto my knees next to Ban, pulling his body onto my knees, forcing the liquid down his throat. All I did after that was cry, until Ban´s eyes opened and he sat up, wiping away the tears with his fingers. “Thank you...” he whispered and then leaned in to kiss me, my stupid self dove right into the kiss and kissed him back like there was no tomorrow, even though there´d be nothing but tomorrows from now on. I took dominance over the kiss and abruptly pulled away, leaving Ban out of breath. “I´m sorry, I was selfish….I shouldn´t have done this...I took away your choice and dragged you down into my curse...I´m sorry, Elaine, I´m so sorry….what have I done?” I muttered, slowly but surely resolving in a panic attack. “The right thing” Elaine opened her eyes, hugged me and smiled. “You´ve saved me again, but who saves you?” she said. “I´m beyond saving” I told her. There we were, my one arm around Elaine, my other hand in Ban´s, his arm around my shoulder and watching the stars.

[davenettis]

No Exit

ok so my hotspot won’t work, I’ve resorted to watching the episode on the app. which is super freaking annoying but whatever. lets begin this ride. (I’m also typing this on my laptop so sorry for the autocorrect…..)

we’re recapping the murder, boop boop.

YAASSS, lets all escape.

Lightweight forgot half this stuff happened but ok.

AYE. I LIKE THAT STAR WARS REFERENCE. we starting off strong.

HM. TONI AND CHERYL. at it again. (I’ve already seen spoilers so I know this doesn’t go well for them)

#leaveKevinalone

THIS LOOK FOR JOSIE, killing it.

Reggie, my mannn.

HAHAHAH IS IT BAD THAT WHEN SHE TOLD HIM TO GO BACK TO SLEEP I THOUGHT OF THAT SCENE FROM FUCKING BOBS BURGERS? “Its ok, keep sleeping. i’ll save us”

no, bitch. go to sleep. we ain’t got time to play right now. I have to go to school like a normal person.

DAMN, WHY U SNITCH ON TYLER LIKE DAT.

#snitchesgetstitches

“an unnamed Serpent”

GOD, that bedhead. #hearteyes

Hiram brought down by nuns would be the biggest plot twist.

yeah, watch for bears, Archiekins. (saw about this too)

“There’s been bear sightings.” “Sounds great, come on Vegas, LETS GO OUTSIDE”

uh oh, u good Reggie?

AH. HELL NAH.

GET AWAY FROM MY BOY, GET OFF OF HIMMMM.

Pop just casually wiping the counters at the speakeasy. An angel.

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF THIS DOG GETS HURT. I AM GONNA LOSE MY ABSOLUTE SHIT.

(EVEN MY CAT JUMPED. HE DID NOT APPRECIATE THAT)

commercial. commercial. commercial. wtf is happening. oh. it’s an iPhone commercial. no thanks, already got one.

that chicken pot pie looking great.

IT’S HUMP DAY. WOO WOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’m dying. I forgot about this.

Thank God, Vegas is ok.

I GOT ATTACKED BY A BEAR, SOS.

“How severe are your injuries?” “HELLA.”

wow, those are gonna make some sexy ass scars tho bby.

See, Arch? You should’ve taken Freddie with you. He could’ve helped.

NO, ARCHIE, DON’T GO TO SLEEP.

I love me some Mark Consuelos. “Someone” sent the gang. Hm.

OK, SERPENTS. WHO ACTIN UP.

Cheryl and TT looking real guilty.

Fangs, you looking real fine. Sweets, you too, bby.

LEAVE JOSIE ALONE.

Again with this farm bullshit.

I was content with them forgetting about this stuff.

FANGS, HUNNI, NO.

DON’T YELL AT HIM, HE’S JUST A BABY.

Is something bad going to happen to Fangs now?

Why are we stealing from the Lodges? I MEAN I GET WHY BUT LIKE SERIOUSLY, CHERYL?

oh no. talk about a nightmare lololol

(Did Sabrina bring these people back? Where she at?)

Did she really think she was gonna trick him?

Fucking Cheryl, man. She’s such an asshole.

(my cat will not freaking lay down so I can see the screen, pls, Ash. it’s important)

OH GOD, is this like Archie’s half dead purgatory dream ?

OMG NOT THIS AGAIN. YAS BIH, TACKLE HIM. FUCK THAT HOE UP. OH. What up, warden?

(I’m loving these old Geico commercials)(OMG OLIVE GARDEN I AM SO HUNGRY.)

Wow, who is surprised that the Sisters aren’t affiliated with the church? Anyone? ANYONE?

SERPENTS. LISTEN TO DADDY, GUYS.

YASSSSS. KIINNNNGGGGGG.

FANGS. YOU HAD ONE JOB, ONE FUCKING JOB.

FANGS, MY BABY :(

Oh my god, send these fucks to the farm. I’m done with them. Ungrateful asses, all of them.

KILL THE MAN IN BLACK. the warden: “SLAAAAAAAAY” (me: QUEEEEEEEN)

I THINK KILLING HIM WILL SOLVE THE PROBLEMS. LITERALLY ALL OF EM.

omg hey guys. Their blank ass stares are so unsettling.

OH MY GAH SHE BROKE DAT SHIT. VERONICA.

Aw, Nana Blossom is still going strong. What up, bby?

I love how Cheryl will help the people from the Sisters ….BUT NOT THE FUCKING SERPENTS?

YEAH, PUT DADDY FP BACK IN.

Reggie, why would you even get out of the truck? OH. IT’S AN AMBUSH. SURPRISE, BITCHES.

Literally, how is Betty even still living with Alice? She should’ve packed her shit up and left as soon as she got out of the Sisters.

I’m not even sure what’s happening anymore on this show but it’s definitely interesting.

(another vaping commercial. please fuck off)

I’m actually kind of okay with this Reggie/Veronica thing? We’ll see.

YES, SEND MY BABY IN AS A SPY. But, I swear if something happens to him, I’m going to be SO FUCKING MAD.

They’re all dead. oh. Bail posted. “We go to join thee” Well, now they’re dead.

ARCHIE, THEY FOUND YOU. OH NO. WAKE UP, ARCHIE WHAT THE HELL.

Sooooo yeah. I guess we’ll see what happens next week??

[mainly-kpop]

text me

She sits on the bus flicking through her music trying to find the perfect song, a task that usually takes a ridiculous amount of time for her to just settle on a song shes listened to so many times before. One of those ones you listen to and never get sick of. She slouched down in her seat slightly watching the people pile in one after the other, a clear almost robotic routine to her days. Closing her eyes she relaxes into the bubble she had placed around her simply by putting headphones in, she bobbed her head gently to the music letting herself be immersed completely.

A light tap on her shoulder brought her back to the world, with a jolt she gave a gentle tug to one of the headphones letting it fall out of her ear. She looked up at the man who was standing in front of her. His fluffy looking dark hair parted straight down the middle,and curving in the bangs, it had a childish and almost sweet kind of turn to it, she smiled mostly to herself. The man had a smile which she could only describe to be blinding to mere mortals, coffee coloured brown eyes dancing along with the smile. he was tall and slim, or maybe rather muscular it was hard to tell, if he was he hid it well. He layered on clothing today, he definitely wasn’t from here, this was a summer day kind of heat in the UK. He was most likely around her age which made her interest peak in him. In conclusion he was tall, dark and handsome, just her type. 

‘May i sit?’ He spoke his voice sounded so cute yet so calming, it certainly matched the beaming smile lacing his features, her heart fluttered slightly, she had expected a deep raspy voice one fit for a mysterious man, not a soft and soothing, a voice that made her happy just listening to it. She nodded motioning her hand towards the seat telling him silently that he may indeed sit, she didn’t trust her voice to stay calm. He thanked her by bowing his head slightly and whispering a small thank you. She placed her earbud back in her ear and gazed out the window, it seemed like some dramatic movie. The typical teen movie, staring out the window listening to sad music thinking about life, that’s what she looked like right now and it almost made her laugh out loud.

Her shoulders shook slightly as she let a small laugh escape, she was almost certain she snorted, but if anyone asked or pointed it out she would deny it. The boy next to her looked at her strangely before turning back to his phone smiling. He hadn't randomly asked to sit next to her, there was plenty other seats free, plenty other places he could plop down temporarily, but she was pretty. Drifting off into her own world she looked so relaxed to him, he wanted to be near that, around that kind of energy. She was alluring to him, he liked everything about how she looked he was sure her personality must be just as good. He was so lost in admiring the girl he hardly noticed he had missed his stop. Looking up from his phone and looking at the surroundings outside the bus, his eyes widening in horror as he realised he had indeed missed his stop, 3 stops ago in fact. He pushed the button quickly running to the front of the bus waiting for the driver to stop, he stepped off quickly taking a breath as he watched the bus drive off. He patted his pockets for his phone, he should probably let Tae know what an idiot he had been. Shit. She turned to look back out the window sinking herself back into her bubble. She had concluded the boy really wasn’t from here, who forgets their stop these days. A sudden vibration on her leg broke her out of her thoughts, she looked down at her phone to see no messages, strange, she ignored it. 

It happened again, and again, and again. She looked down at her leg Confused. Sitting right next to her right leg was a phone, his phone. She rolled her eyes picking it up and looking at the screen. 

10 messages from Tae

What the? This boy has some obsessive friends. She decided to swipe the screen up, i mean if there was no password was she even really snooping? Of course she was, but he didn’t need to know that. 

‘Hey i’m here where are you?’ 

‘Dude its been 5 minutes did you miss your stop?’ 

‘Broooo i swear to godddddddddd’

‘Dude we left 5 minutes apart how are you this late?’ 

‘OI YOU GIRL SITTING THERE’ 

‘PLEASE ANSWER MY PHONE’ 

‘ANSWER 

ANSWER 

ANSWER’ she smirked at the phone laughing at the messages, he was asking for her to open the phone he cant accuse her of anything now. To be honest she was impressed at the boys speed he had only gotten off the bus about 5 minutes ago.

‘PLEASE PICK UP MY PHONE I KNOW I LEFT IT ON VIBRATE I KNOW YOU HAVE IT’ 

‘ILL SCREAM THEFT IF YOU DON’T ANSWER RIGHT NOW.’ she scoffed at this statement, steal his phone? HIS phone? No thank you sir, as if she wanted a LG when she had a perfectly beautiful Iphone sitting right in her lap. 

‘Wow hold up little boy I ain’t no thief, you left your own damn phone that ain’t my fault, also who doesn’t have a password on their phones these days, are you crazy?!’ She typed out the text and hit send waiting for the flurry of messages. 

‘Okay okay I’m sorry, pls don’t leave...also people who don’t have anything to hide don’t have passwords, bet yours is like 15 characters long.’ She frowned at his snark then looked around the bus, what was with this idiot boy. 

‘Dude, i’m on a fucking bus, what do you mean don’t leave! and my password is actually 4 numbers don’t be rude.’ Hoseok was beyond done with this girl, he had seriously miscalculated her personality. He looked at his best friend as he continued shovelling food into his mouth. 

‘Can I have my phone back now?’ He frowned at the boy across the table, no, no he fucking couldn’t. 

‘Not until i get my phone back buddy, unless you want me to send your photos to every girl in-’ Tae’s eyes popped out his head, no way did he just threaten to leak his nudes... 

‘No! no... its okay man keep it who needs a phone right!?’ Hoseok slumped back into his seat returning the text. 

‘Don’t be a brat, when do you get off the bus.’ at this rate he wasn’t going to get his phone back anytime soon. She was a pretty girl but the attitude on her was infuriating. 

‘EW stalker much! I’m not telling you where I live! For all I know you left your damn phone on purpose.’ She smirked and sent the text, okay she knew he just wanted his phone back but she was enjoying winding him up, he was entertaining. She rang the bell packing her stuff up, slotting the phone in her bag, she left the bus thanking the driver and headed up the road to her house. A little humble home. She lived in a white picket fence neighbourhood but somehow wished she didn’t. The families around her had little demon children that would kick the ball into her yard, who would ding dong ditch, who climbed the bins to jump off inevitably hurting themselves then crying to their mothers like it wasn’t their own damn fault. She also didn’t quite fit in here, everyone was either 90 or married with little gremlins. She was neither of these people at this present time. 

She unlocked the front door running in and closing it quickly before some random mother could invite her to their kids bake sale or something, it was not something she needed after a day like hers. Throwing her bag down in the hallway she plonked herself down on the couch, scrolling through her phone and wasting time. She had a lot to do, she usually did, this just seemed far more appealing to her.

‘She’s not answering the texts anymore what am i meant to do now!’ Tae rolled his eyes, his best friend really was the idiot of all idiots. They had made it back to their hotel, Tae looked over to Hobi’s pillow seeing he hadn’t taken advantage of the little pillow chocolate, his loss. He swiped it up and plopped it into his mouth before his friend could protest. 

‘Omg maybe she stole it, or left it on the bus too, or maybe shes been kidnapped and cant answer oh or maybe she-’

‘Shut up you dingus.’ Tae pouted at being interrupted, bidding farewell to his friend, and his phone as he set of back to his room leaving Hoseok to his own devices. 

He paced back and forth deciding on what to do, he could text again but hes texted a lot so far, he went into the call log on Tae’s phone and pushed his number. 

She heard buzzing. incessant buzzing that wouldn't damn well stop, she got up following the sound and rolled her eyes when she realised it was her bag. picking it up plucking out the phone she answered it.

‘Hello? What do you- hello? Hello?!’ He hung up. She was confused to say the least but she looked down at the phone anyways seeing all the messages, she snorted bringing it to the living room and scrolling through the chat. 

‘Why did you call me to hang up as soon as i answered? How rude!’ 

‘I needed you to answer! I need my damn phone back, i have important things coming up, important business.’ She raised an eyebrow, hmm we will see, she clicked on his calendar to see exactly what he had going on, empty. Nothing. Nada. 

‘Really? cos your calendar says you’re free for like ever, how sad’ Hoseok widened his eyes in disbelief and scoffed, was she really snooping through his phone right now? Another message came through and he smirked. 

‘Can I answer your other messages? The little notification thing is annoying me and your friends seem about as persistent as your bitch ass.’ That could be interesting... 

‘Sure why not, don’t answer family tho that’s weird. Also i really do need my phone back, we have this thing we are going to together... i can’t explain but i need my phone so Tae can have his back.’ She frowned at his vagueness.

Really all they were doing was flying back to their home town, it wasn't for another few weeks so he had time but she didn't need to know that.

‘Omg do you guys gather around and hold hands every week and tell each other your struggles? SO CUTE I LOVE BOYFRIENDS.’ She scrolled onto the other chats looking at the unread messages not wanting to invade his privacy too much. 

‘Tae tells me you lost your phone on a bus, well done genius.’ She scoffed already typing out the perfect reply. 

‘Who says he’s the idiot, you’re the one texting a lost phone looking for your friend Mr Min Yoongi.’ 

She moved onto the next one seeing it was from someone named Jungkook, she opened it up seeing a random picture of a chest and then some winking emojis underneath. 

‘My my, are you flirting with me?’ She sent getting a reply almost instantly. 

‘DUDE NO, you were telling me you were fitter than me yesterday, I wanted to prove you wrong... remember...’ She laughed, so he was fit under those layers. 

‘Damn now you got me all disappointed.’ 

She exited that one and scrolled onto the next chat seeing its a group, oh how delightful she smiles in the most evil manner clicking the screen opening up the group. 

‘Whats up my fellow men, how are we hanging?’ she sent the text seeing them all receive it, before all the typing bubbles pop up. 

Jimin: ‘Hanging pretty well mate thanks for asking.’ 

Jungkook: ‘Honestly what is with you today? I'm pretty good...’ 

Tae: ‘I DIDN’T SAY YOU COULD ANSWER THE GROUP CHAT!’ 

Hobi: ‘Yeah? Well, you didn’t say I couldn’t so...’ 

Yoongi: ‘You idiots, Hobi left his phone on the bus and now some random has it.’ She was hurt by this, like not in a genuinely wow I feel pain but in a wow what a meanie kind of way, she opened up the camera and sent a pouting selfie into the chat captioned ‘How rude I’m deeply offended little boy.’ she sent it and closed the group chat going back onto the one with Hoseok. 

‘So that’s your name? Hobi? Like Hobby?’ He rolled his eyes, and replied with a simple yes, going back to the group chat, he looked the selfie over again making sure it was the same girl he was sitting next to on the bus, no doubt about it, seems she really does just have an attitude on her.  

‘I will meet up with you to give your precious mobile device back to you, but only if you can prove you’re not a murderer or something.’ Honestly this fucking girl. 

‘And how the hell am i meant to do that? Search my phone if you want i don’t care i just need it back, we fly out soon and I can’t just leave it here.’ Ah she knew they weren’t from here! That makes his urgency a little more understandable. Its understandable anyways when she thinks about the longest she had ever been away from her phone, she shudders at the thought of it being the other way around. 

She now had permission to go through his phone and boy was she going to take him up on that offer. Listen, she wasn’t nosy or snooping where she didn’t need to be, she just wanted to get a feel for the guy, find out who he is, what he likes, what he does, And of course whether he is fucking crazy or not. 

She scrolled through his photos first, finding a few of what she assumed was him and his friends, they were cute, she wont lie. There was seven in total and they were all super attractive. She looked at them all picking out one of them zooming in, screen shotting and sending the photo to the group chat. 

‘Who is this?’ 

Jungkook: ‘Oh my god’ 

Jin: ‘Are you fucking kidding me. 

Yoongi: ‘That’s me you random what do you want.’ 

‘Wow, I was just going to say you are attractive af, but never mind i take it back.’ 

Namjoon: ‘Fucking shot down mate.’ she closed the group continuing her search for anything suspicious. She found a video of what seemed like Hobi and another boy, she recognised the other boy from the photos. He was tall and adorable, boxy smile and bright eyes, always seemed to be happy or drop dead gorgeous, there seemed to be no in between. Clicking play she listened to the video getting chills all the way up her arms and down her back.

‘Yo who the fuck is this i just wanna talk.’ 

Jimin: ‘Hey its tae, its me whats up?’ 

‘Look at that Yoongi, that’s how you politely answer a question.’ 

Yoongi: ‘I’m muting.’ 

‘Anyways, how is your voice so deep, and soothing, and beautiful, hello can we be wed.’ 

Jimin: ‘Sure tell me where and when’

Tae: ‘OKAY enough flirting, it’s making me want to vomit.’ 

Jimin: ‘spoil sport.’

‘ugh, fine, we still have a side chat, looks like Jimin wont be getting his phone back either...’ 

Jungkook: ‘ugh, disgusting.’

Tae: ‘Just, please don’t send nudes from my phone, or to my phone for that matter...’

switching between talking to Tae and looking through photos nothing really seemed to pop out at her as being shifty or suspicious. Mainly just photos of family and friends, scenery of places he had been to, it seems the group travelled a lot and she couldn't help but wonder what they all did. Were they in it together or just always travel together? She would ask later she decided shrugging it off. She scrolled more enjoying the photos he had, he seemed artistic and she enjoyed that a lot.

'So? Anything that screams psycho murder to you?' She smiled at the text.

'okay okay, I'll admit it, you don't seem like a crazy killer, however. You do travel a lot, where do you get the money for this? Do you guys deal drugs or something?' he laughed out loud in his hotel room. Drugs? That’s the first thing that comes to mind? What kind of area did this girl grow up in... 

'No you idiot, we are all partners in a business, a highly successful one at that, why did your mind go straight to drugs, you Brits I swear.' Her mouth hung open at the stereotype, she was Scottish actually, not that it made it all that much better, worse actually, the stereotype was still annoying.

'wooooooow you really Don’t know a superior accent when you hear one huh!'

'okay first you didn't even say a word to me you moved your perfectly manicured hand and put your headphone back in. As for superior accent if it's not Australian I don't care.' she rolled her eyes this boy truly was a handful.

'meet me on Sunday, half 4 at the cafe down the road from the bus stop you got off at, not a minute later, then you will hear a real accent you uncultured swine.' He rolled his eyes, honestly any longer talking to this girl and he was going to have a permanent migraine.

Jin: 'Hobi did you get your phone back?'

'nope still me you boobs, sorry to disappoint'

Jimin: 'Tell us something about you anyway, shouldn't we get to know the girl our hobi is going to date?' Hobi smacked himself on the forehead, migraine suddenly building at a rapid pace. For the last couple of days he had been getting to know her, finding out about what she likes, what her family is like, where she's from and when she moved. He learned about her little quirks and what makes her, her. He was falling head over heels for the girl with his phone and he couldn't stop it any longer. He had confided in the boys when they last went out for dinner saying how much he enjoyed her. He knew he shouldn't have, he knew it was a bad idea, these idiots had the biggest mouths.

'DATE!?!?! Wow wow wow pretty boy slow your roll!' She shook her head no way. He couldn't want that. There was no way she was sassy, and annoying, brash and infuriating. He was bright and smart, funny and artsy he was the opposite to her, he couldn't like her it just wasn't feasible.

Jungkook: 'it's Taeeee, it's not a lie he loves you.' He could feel his heart beating and his mouth drying, he was going to kill them if it was the last thing he did.

'Agh stop telling me lies little boy, I'm far more interested in moody little Yoongi and we all know it.' she teased. She had been talking to them all a lot over the past few days, and truthfully although she did get along well with Yoongi, she wanted Hoseok, and there was no changing that.

Yoongi: 'Ew leave me you mutant, date the one that actually wants your lame ass.'

Tae: 'STOP OMG, I’m getting my phone back tomorrow leave the poor girl alone'

'Y/N. My name is Y/N.' Through the last few days no one had requested your name, not even Hoseok, You found it strange but the mystery was soon to be over, therefore a name should be given. 

He waited at the bus stop the next day, checking Tae’s phone obsessively waiting for her to say she wasn't coming. He arrived earlier than told, but he was just excited to see her after this whole week, excited to finally see the girl he had gotten to know, most of all however he was thrilled to finally have his own phone back in his hands. The bus pulled up and she stepped out thanking the driver and walking towards the cafe seeing him standing back towards her, he had a t-shirt on, clearly finally used to the weather, she smiled to herself admiring the way he stands so effortlessly, yet somehow still looks lost and scared.

‘You lost love?’ She spoke gently tapping him on the shoulder. 

‘Oh no, sorry i’m just- hey.’ He spoke gently, smiling fondly at the girl in front of him.

'What accent is that?' He questioned not quite able to place it. She smiled looking up at him, he was taller than she expected. When she was sitting it was obvious he was tall, she hadn't expected this tall. 'Scottish, its not heavy but its there.' It had faded slightly with all the years she had been living in England, she held on to what she could of it. 

'oh here.' she handed his phone over with a small smirk on her face. He let out a sigh of relief and flicked his finger over the screen unlocking it, he looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

'you set your face to my home screen? Really? You couldn't have taken a more flattering photo?' She sucked in a breath of mock insult.

'I'll have you know both my chin and I look astounding in this photo, I also set it as my caller id because-'

'wait, you put your number in my phone?' She blushed instantly realising that she maybe went a step too far.

'oh uh yeah, I just thought that maybe you would want it, to um talk later, sorry you don't have to keep it, it's uh no big deal' She brushed off as if it wasn't a massive deal.

'no, I do want it, the boys love you, I love you. Oh as a friend of course I uh' He blushed and brushed his hand through his hair, she giggled at him being this flustered.

'Hobi, do you maybe want to go get a coffee? I know this really nice cafe just-'

'I would love that.' He interrupted she rolled her eyes smacking his arm.

'you really need to stop interrupting me little boy'

'hey I'm like 100% older than you little girl'

'yeah well I'm cuter'

'HA OKAY THAT'S WHERE I DRAW THE LINE'

They joined hands walking to the cafe together blissfully unaware of the future.

[chimyoung]

I’ll Try

As requested by @agylala7: what about the second prompt with Yoongi and OC, but where OC is the art student who smokes and Yoongi is the med student?

Here we go! This was supposed to be a drabble but it went over 2k so does it still count?

Warning/s: SMOKING (pls do not, take it from a smoker, it is very expensive and bad for your health), swearing, reader gets sick, mentions of gross sick stuff.

Paring: Med Student!Min Yoongi x Art Student!Reader

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for your peers to find you outside, under one of the large trees on the quad with a cigarette in your mouth. It was a well-known fact that you were a chain smoker, many of your professors and friends trying to lecture you on the detrimental impact that the nicotine had on your health, but you never listened.

Min Yoongi was one of those people who were trying to convince you to quit smoking, or at least cut back from two packs a day. At first he had started out by simply looking at you and telling you that the ‘cancer stick’ was going to kill you before you saw your first grandchild. He was a very blunt man, but that was probably what made you fall in love with him in the first place.

Min Yoongi was the complete and total opposite of you, with his natural black hair, no piercings other than his ears and no other body modifications whatsoever, he was not afraid to speak his mind or call people out on their bullshit. Yoongi dressed to be comfortable, and his outward appearance, although intimidating, was somewhat comforting. He was a med student who would never even think of putting a lit cigarette anywhere near his face. 

You on the other hand, had bright red hair, a couple of piercings (your nose and lip) as well as your ears, you had tattoos all over your body and you were a very soft, outspoken person no matter what you looked like. You often dressed in a way that would scare people off, and it was a common occurrence for people to cross the road to avoid you altogether. You were a socially awkward art student who couldn’t really go ten minutes without a hit of nicotine.

“Large soy chai latte, no foam!” You called, finishing the order and pushing the to-go cup forward in time for the business lady to snatch it off the counter and completely ignore your polite smile. Seeing no more orders for you, you wiped down the coffee machine and moved out from behind the counter, joining Hoseok in cleaning the now empty tables. It was a late Tuesday evening, and the quaint little café that you worked at was beginning to start closing, ready to turn in for the night.

“Here, I’ll take that. You go talk to your lover boy.” Hoseok winked, taking the empty plates from your hands. Hoseok was much like you in his appearance, two full sleeves of tattoos to complement his spider bites and eyebrow piercing. He was your best friend and he was also a pain in the ass, often giving you a hard time for your crush on Yoongi, your polar opposite. Where you had fallen for a man who was complete opposite of you, Hoseok’s boyfriend, Taehyung, was very much the same as him, maybe with a few less tattoos.

“Fuck off, Hobi.” You spoke, but handed over the plates in any case, turning to see Yoongi sat in the corner with three empty mugs around him, typing furiously on his laptop. You assumed that the med students had an assignment or test of some sort coming up, explaining the urgent way that Yoongi was slamming his fingers against the keypad.

“Do you need another?” You asked as soon as you got close enough, taking a small amount of joy in the way that the man jumped, his hand almost knocking one of the mugs from their place beside him.

“Um, yeah. Just a latte, thanks. I’m nearly done.” He smiled up at you, watching as you collected the empty cups and plates, nodding as he spoke.

“No problem. It won’t be too long.” You smiled back, turning to walk away. Jimin had taken your place at the coffee machine, so you relayed Yoongi’s order before grabbing your packet of cigarettes from your jacket’s front pocket and taking your lighter from Jimin’s outstretched hand. You often left it laying around, and your friends ever so diligently continued to pick it up for you.

“I’m going for a smoke, I’ll be back in like 5 minutes.” You said, moving towards the back of the store, and out the back door, flipping Jin off when he made some comment about not getting cancer before he can draw up the next roster. Placing the cigarette between your lips and sparking the flame from the lighter, you inhaled the toxins, letting out a relieved sigh at the familiar burn. The tightness in your chest dissipated upon seeing the cloud of grey smoke leave your lips, blowing away with the breeze. 

You were in a world all your own, thinking over the man who sat inside and what he would say to you when you walked back inside. He often left little notes on the napkins, other staff at the café passing them along to you. At first you were a little put off when you read “EXPOSURE TO SECOND HAND SMOKE KILLS NEARLY 50,000 PEOPLE EACH YEAR IN THE U.S ALONE”. Though as time went on, the little notes became more frequent, facts about cigarettes and the deadly impact that they had on the average human. Now you had begun to expect them, somewhat looking forward to them in your own morbid way. Stomping out the now finished cigarette, you exhaled the lung full of smoke, waiting a little so that you wouldn’t smell too strongly of smoke, before you made your way back into the café, finding Yoongi gone but a note left in his place, folded in half with your name scratched onto the top in his usual scrawl.

“What did he leave you this time? His number? The national quitting help line? The number to some sort of a funeral service?” Hoseok asked as you unfolded the paper, smirking at the newest note.

“TABBACO ADDICTS ARE MOST LIKELY TO CONSIDER QUITTING ON A MONDAY. MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE COME IN YESTERDAY?” It read, making you giggle quietly at the absurdness of the fact.

“Nothing of your concern.” You quipped, walking towards the front doors to lock them and flip the open sign to close.

The next time you spoke to Yoongi, you were sat under the largest tree on the quad, a lit cigarette in your mouth, and two finished ones stamped out beside you.

“You are going to die an incredibly early death if you continue smoking at the rate you are.” His voice cut through your thoughts, halting the movement of your pencil on your paper.

“We’re all gonna die Yoongi. When, where or how is undecided. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and that would have nothing to do with my smoking habits.” You said, smirking up at the man and taking another drag.

“You are as bad a Namjoon. I’m just pointing out that the likeliness of you living to the ripe old age of 45 is pretty low.” He spoke back sarcastically, beginning to walk away once more. You laughed at his statement, taking one final drag from your cigarette and putting it out, half finished. 

“Now I might make it to 46!” You exclaimed, smiling at him and picking up your pencil once more. 

“Maybe. It might take a little more than that though.” He quipped.

“I’ll try.”

You went the next few weeks without seeing Yoongi, too swept up in work and your classes to even bother looking for the man, and with the stress of three back to back major assessments, your smoking increased as well. Probably getting you to where you are now.

You had been with Hoseok, Taehyung and Jimin when you began to feel short of breath. You had been dealing with a pretty persistent cough for about two weeks now, putting it down to coming down with a head cold or something, but this was different. Your chest was tight, and your coughs were racking through your body, the other boys looking over at you worried.

You had managed to grab a tissue from the coffee table in front of you, and pulling away to find a yellow-grey coloured mucus was concerning. Even further concerning was the fact that specks of blood covered the small area on the tissue.

“Okay that’s it. You’re going to a hospital. I don’t care what you say.” Hoseok jumped up, moving to wrap his arm around your waist and walk you out of your apartment, the two younger boys following. Your wheezing only seemed to get worse, as did the tightness in your chest and it wasn’t long before you were groaning with the effort it took to inhale. 

Reaching the hospital seemed to take less time than you remember, Jimin and Taehyung jumping from the car to grab you whilst Hoseok went to find somewhere to park. Jimin was supporting you while Taehyung ran ahead to get some help. You had barely made it through the front doors before there was nurses grabbing at you and putting you on a hospital bed, wheeling you away from your friends. You made it into the ER, two of the nurses talking to you to tell you that a doctor would be on his way soon, and that they were going to be taking your vitals.

“Okay, honey, can you tell me your symptoms? How long have you had them?” One of them, an older lady, asked, smiling down at you in comfort.

“Um… I feel like I can’t breathe, my chest feels really tight. I’ve been coughing for about two weeks now and it’s had mucus and only just recently I’ve been coughing up blood too.” You tried to explain, trying to ignore the feeling of passing out.

“I’ll take it from here, Joy. Hello miss, I’m Dr Kim. I hope you don’t mind but there is also a medical student with me as well,” Another smiling woman approached leaning over you to inspect. “Have you had any trouble sleeping at all, or a fever perhaps?”

“Yeah, but I just thought it was a head cold or something, nothing too serious.” You said, your words coming out in between pants. You were finding it increasingly difficult to breathe.

“Okay, just a couple more questions. Are you a smoker at all or have you been exposed to cigarette smoke regularly over the time of your illness?” She asked, the sound of scribbling drawing your attention away from the woman. You couldn’t see whoever it was so you turned your focus back to the doctor.

“Uh, yeah. I smoke.” You said, a little ashamed with the way this woman was looking at you.

“Okay, how often? As in, how many packs a day do you think you average?” She questioned further.

“Maybe two, usually. But I’ve been really stressed lately so maybe more.” You spoke, trying to remember just how many packets you had gone through in the past three weeks. 

“Hmm.” She hummed, pulling her stethoscope out and listening to the rattling of your lungs as you inhaled and exhaled on her command. She said a few more things before a nurse came over and demanded the doctor’s presence.

“Okay, you can probably finish this. Give your diagnosis and check it with the primary and the head nurse.” Dr Kim said to whoever the med student was. There was a noise of affirmation and a new figure stepped into your line of sight. Min Yoongi had his most disappointed look printed across his face, looking down at you in the same way your parents would.

“So from what I can tell, you’ve got chronic bronchitis. Not cancer, thank god. You’re probably gonna need some respiratory antibiotics and inhalants, and pulmonary rehabilitation. That means quitting smoking.” Yoongi spoke softly but he was stern, letting you know he wasn’t up for any of your bullshit. He waved down a nurse and told her of his diagnosis, watching as she pulled a breathing mask over your face and went to go grab the head nurse in charge.

You were still stunned but you nodded, your eyes never once leaving him. He was still so attractive, even when he was obviously tired and upset with you.

“You know, if you give up the smoking, I may just ask you on a date.” Yoongi spoke so nonchalantly that you almost thought that you heard him wrong.

“I’ll try.” Your voice was muffled but he understood you perfectly.

“I suppose that’s all I can ask.” He brushed your hair off of your forehead and further shocked you by placing a kiss on the now exposed skin.

“I’ll be back later. Try and get some rest for now.” He looked over at you, almost as if he didn’t want to leave as much as you didn’t want him to leave.

“I’ll try.”

[mrlsmckinnon]

thirty four    +     photographer    +      virgo      +      enfp

tw: death of a parent, srs illness

spark notes: does yoga every morning, makes the most inappropriate jokes at inappropriate times, has to know the plot of a movie/tv show before she watches it… and in the same vein; always reads the last page of a book first, refuses to go to bed angry, gets obsessive about a task to distract herself from things that’re actually worrying her/important, sticks post-it notes around the house (on the bathroom mirror, on the front door, in the cupboard on a shelf etc.) for her fiancé, plans holidays in her spare time, eats the cream part of an oreo first, could probably live on dark chocolate if she had to, all she’s ever wanted is a house with a porch tbh, was head cheerleader and part of a sorority in college and she dares you to say anything about it, never lets anyone leave her house hungry, loves a monogram, still goes to church on sundays, truly believes sweet tea could save the world.

born and raised in magnolia, she’s your stereotypical modern day southern belle. she will call you sir/ma’am/honey/sweetheart, her hair’s somehow always perfect and her nails always perfectly manicured, she makes peach cobbler to die for, never swears (er, in public), always makes THE BEST distractions when you mess up and she notices (which she always does), FULLY enjoys sending thank-you notes and learnt her most important life lesson from marie in the aristocats ladies don’t start fights but they sure can finish them . basically all rules that her momma ingrained in her. that’s not to say she’s one dimensional and a mary-sue because girl has her flaws. 

she was happy to be paraded around like a little debutante before her mom died when she was twelve years old. her dad ended up remarrying literally a year later and whilst hollie didn’t have an issue with her step-mom, it still made her a little bitter and a little rebellious… so she did her best to get the hell out of dodge as soon as she could. 

she went to college in austin, was def part of a sorority, and didn’t really know what she wanted to major/minor in so she flip-flopped about for the first two years tbh. a girl in her sorority’s mom worked with a high-end fashion designer and managed to score the girls ticket to new york fashion week - and it was there that hollie got scouted by a modelling agency. 

she basically threw caution to the wind and went with it. she dropped out of college, moved to milan and basically started working on her modelling career. which worked out pretty well for her, really, she hit it pretty big and was a pretty big name in the fashion world until she… decided to retire at twenty-eight because she’d gotten bored with it and she was kind of sick of the way the industry treated her??? 

then she made plans to travel the world (literally) with a high school sweetheart of hers who she literally hadn’t spoken to since high school (bc why not) and fortunately for her he ended up being the love of her life. 

after that, she moved back to magnolia and she’s got a pretty happy little life. she runs a little freelance photography business, half in magnolia, half in austin… but turns out she’s a small town girl at heart. she loves hosting dinner parties and having lunch with her girlfriends or getting her nails done. she’s engaged and expecting her first baby too so LIFE IS GOOD. aside from her husband-to-be is actually sick so :) she’s just trying to SMILE HER WAY THROUGH IT. she says she didn’t spend half her life learning how to spell dubanowski properly so that he could go and kick the bucket on her. SO. 

needs: pls pls pls PLS give me a group of super tight girl friends that’ve been friends since they were like…. babies. sisterhood of the traveling pants style. i might even throw up a request but w/e. just friends honestly? she’s a giant sweetheart who likes disney and eating ice cream and… having everyone around for dinner. idk basically everything? maybe some people who didn���t like her back in hs? neighbours? people she’s done photographs for? she’s been back in magnolia for about 5ish years now so?? LOVE HER PLS

[shannaraisles]

Dear Friend - Chapter 7

My festive project. A Modern AU heavily based on The Shop Around The Corner, in which Cullen Rutherford finds love between Satinalia and First Day. [Read on AO3]

Chapter Seven

The snow was falling again in big wet clumps when Cullen finally located the right apartment building, quietly chuckling under his breath at Cassandra's appalling handwriting. The little note she'd left him containing Mila's home address had been all but illegible even before he'd got it wet. And why was he standing outside a Storm Age-era building of gray stone and narrow windows, in the dark, in the snow, pressing the buzzer in the hope that someone inside might let him in soon?

Because Mila was sick, that was why. In more than a year, he'd never known her to take even half a day off because of illness, yet she'd called in reluctantly three days in a row this week. He was worried about her, and for once, he didn't mind that other people had noticed it. Cassandra had taken the opportunity to badger him about telling Mila the truth again, but he'd grown used to her quiet glaring at his back every time he made the object of his affections smile or laugh in her presence over the last six weeks or so. Varric was slightly less discreet about it, but the promise of Kirkwall whiskey for First Day and a mild threat of locking him in with the marmosets who were obsessed with his chest hair had settled that score. Everyone else at work just seemed reasonably pleased that he and Mila were no longer snapping at each other at every opportunity. He could have been brutal in his assessment of his own concern at Mila's illness, breaking it down to a simple sense of impatience and lost opportunity, but even he knew this was a lie. He was worried about her, plain and simple - worried about the health of a woman he was very fond of.

The intercom buzzed, and an unexpectedly Antivan voice spoke. "Yes?"

A little confused that he'd somehow come to the wrong street, Cullen frowned. "Uh ... My name's Cullen?" he offered, unintentionally as though asking permission to have a name at all. "I work with Mila, I ... Well, I thought I'd come and see how she is."

The feminine voice on the other end of the intercom sounded delighted with this news. "Oh, how wonderful! Mila, get up, you have a visitor! Come up, Cullen - apartment 12a."

"Thank you," he managed, just before the line went dead and the main door buzzed.

Pushing it open with his shoulder, careful not to drop or spill his peace offerings, Cullen paused to stamp the snow off his boots before heading up the stairs toward the middle floor of the building. He had to admit to feeling a little trepidation - he hadn't been invited, exactly. Nor had he called ahead to warn her he was coming. It had been a sort of spur of the moment decision, solidified on the phone with Alys when he'd called to see how her sleepover with her best friend was going. Now it was seven o'clock in the evening, and he was lurking outside the door to Mila's apartment, holding a small potted cactus and a carton of chicken noodle soup, seriously reconsidering whether this was a good idea or not.

He didn't have much chance to worry over it, though. The door opened within a minute of his arrival, revealing the bright smile of what he assumed was the Antivan woman who had buzzed him in.

"Come in!" she declared, gesturing for him to pass over the threshold. "Mila's on the couch - that way. Let me take your coat."

"Oh ... thank you."

A little bewildered by the warm greeting from someone he'd never met before - at least, he didn't think he'd met her, but she looked vaguely familiar in some way - Cullen let himself be stripped out of his warm coat and ushered into the living room, where Mila was visible sweeping an armful of used tissues into a trash can from where she was sprawled on the couch. It was a pleasant little room, really - colored lights still hung for the holidays, two desks set up against the far wall, behind one of which was a collection of hand-drawn pictures tacked to the wall. Alys' pictures, though Mila didn't know that. He smiled at the sight of them, turning his attention back to Mila. She was wrapped up in a fleece blanket, at least two empty boxes of tissues on the floor beside the couch, still in her pajamas - a festive onesie she'd twinned with offensively bright stripey socks - and her dark hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She looked absolutely adorable. She also looked utterly bemused to see him.

"Hi," she managed, her voice sounding just a little scratchy. "Did something happen?"

"Hmm?" Cullen blinked back to himself. "Oh ... no, nothing's wrong," he assured her. "I was concerned. It's not like you to call in sick, after all." He hefted the cactus and the carton in his hands. "These are for you."

It was Mila's turn to blink as her eyes focused on the plant. "You brought me a cactus?"

He glanced down at it, feeling like an idiot now. "Well, Alys was rather insistent that I should bring you flowers," he tried to explain, "but when I was in the florist, I saw this, and ... thought of you."

Even as he visibly deflated, Mila's face creased into a smile. "Pretty and prickly, huh?" she asked in amusement.

"Sounds very accurate to me," the woman behind him said. "I'm Josephine, by the way, Mila's flatmate, and I am going out." She tapped Cullen's arm. "Make her eat and wash," she instructed. "She has been refusing to do both all day."

"Maker's breath, Josie, I'm not a child," Mila complained, her face flushing in embarrassment as Cullen chuckled lightly.

"Then kindly stop behaving like one," Josephine informed her friend fondly, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Eat, wash, pretend to be human while you have a guest. I promise I will make you breakfast in the morning if you are feeling better."

"You're doing nothing for my image here," Mila pointed out with a faint smile, rubbing a hand over her hair and grimacing at the sweaty feeling of it against her palm. "I'm already feeling better, anyway. And you have a date."

"Mila Trevelyan, you are doing nothing for your image," Josephine told her with a grin. "All right, I am going. Have a lovely evening." She shot Mila a surprisingly intense look, glancing between Cullen and her flatmate significantly, before turning on her heel to slip away.

Cullen found himself grinning at the exchange. "She seems ... forceful," he commented, setting the cactus down on the coffee table.

"She was showing off for your benefit," Mila told him, but her voice was affectionate despite the grumbles. "Thank you for coming over. It's ... it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you," he countered. "And I now have instructions. So up you get, into the shower. I'll make you some dinner."

Mila stared at him incredulously. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." He met her stare with a firm smile. "I have a ten year old, you are never going to win this battle. Give in with grace and save yourself the effort."

"What happens if I try to fight back?" she asked, reaching for another tissue to blow her nose, already rubbed raw by three days of snuffles.

"I may have to bodily pick you up and put you in the shower before turning it on," he informed her. A moment later, his imagination had taken that suggestion and woven it into a mental image of Mila naked beneath steaming water, his hands twitching to touch the imagined planes and curves of a body he'd never really had much of an opportunity to admire. She lived in baggy shirts, this woman.

By the look on her face, he'd slightly boggled her with that suggestion, too. She didn't seem to know quite how to respond. He could only hope she was struggling with the same sort of mental imagery that was currently making him quite glad his sweater hung so low.

"What's my reward if I do get washed up?" she challenged him eventually.

Cullen chuckled, holding up the carton of soup in his hand. "Chicken noodle soup," he told her. "And I brought a packet of Rivaini tea - my sister swears by it for colds." And so did his Dear Friend, which was the reason he’d brought it in the first place.

"Oooh, I love Rivaini tea," she enthused, suddenly looking a lot brighter than she had done when he walked in. She pushed back the blanket and stood up slowly, obviously used to the blood-draining experience of standing too fast when feverish from the last few days. "All right, Rutherford, you have a deal. I'll pretend I'm human and not a snot-monster from the Void if you feed me."

"I'm honored," he teased, watching as she shuffled off toward what he assumed was her bedroom. Maker's breath, I hope she has an en-suite. He wasn't entirely sure he could cope with seeing her wander around in a towel.

Left to his own devices, trying not to listen to the sound of her undressing and setting the shower running or to let his imagination run away with him, Cullen turned to seek out the kitchen. He was momentarily arrested by the sight of several of Alys' pictures tacked onto the fridge door, the bright colors and familiar lines of his daughter's artwork drawing a smile from his face as he recognized pictures from a year ago, when she had first started to draw special presents for their Dear Friend. Neither one of them had suspected that each one had been saved and put in a place of honor, to be seen and admired every day not only by the woman they had been made for, but by her flatmate as well. Seeing them there only served to soften him still further toward Mila. It was getting to a point where she might well be able to make him melt just with a look.

A little hunting found a pan he set the chicken noodle soup to heating in on the stove; the kettle to boiling; and a few minutes of investigating her cupboards found both an infuser and a decent sized mug to make the tea with. That done, still trying not to listen closely to the sound of hot water falling on a warm body in a room not so very far away, he indulged himself in wandering through the public rooms of the little apartment, exploring the place Mila called home. It was easy to spot which of the desks was hers - even without the plethora of Alys' artwork tacked to the wall behind it, Mila's almost trademark combination of mess and organization gave it away. Papers piled high, almost all of it annotated with her own handwriting which, now he came to think of it, looked far more similar to her letter-writing hand than he had ever let himself consider before; a mousepad emblazoned with a picture of Amatus; a pile of notebooks, all with at least some writing in them, one of which was open as though she was in the process of taking notes. He scanned that page curiously, feeling himself grin. Notes on enrichment for big cats in captivity; it looked as though Varric was going to get an earful at some point about extending the program they had for the lions to the other cats under their care.

Back in the kitchen as the sound of the shower came to a halt, he found himself scanning what else was stuck to the fridge - a shopping list, a dentist appointment card, a few photographs. The photographs caught his attention and held it. There were only a couple of Mila herself, smiling into the camera while hugging or being hugged by what he assumed were friends, or perhaps even family. The photograph that really caught his attention was of her flatmate, Josephine, wrapped around a familiar redhead as the picture caught them in a candid moment. He knew that redhead - Leliana Valence, the Nightingale as she was known in various places, and a friend of his for a couple of years. No wonder Josephine had looked familiar; he'd probably met her before, at some party or dinner. And if Mila knew Leliana, she probably had been introduced to Garrett Hawke, too ... and sure enough, there was a picture of Hawke and his unconventional little family, tucked behind a magnet that declared Ostwick to be a place where most people lived with their heads in the sand.

Cullen chuckled to himself. The parallels just kept piling up. Not only did they share interests, passions, but they also knew the same people.

"What's so funny?" Mila asked from behind him.

He straightened, looking over his shoulder to find her looking a little better than she had when he came in - dressed in jeans and a loose t-shirt, still squeezing the water from her hair with a towel. He gestured to her photographs.

"Just reflecting on what a small world we live in," he assured her. "I had no idea you knew Hawke and co."

She blinked in surprise. "You know them?"

"I worked with him for a couple of years before the zoo hired me on," he explained, returning to the stove to stir the soup before serving it into a bowl on the counter in front of her. "We were all much younger and much less inclined to do actual work; everyone was volunteering somewhere else as well as working for the city. I was the first to get the job I wanted, though - it helped that Rory was pregnant, so there was a level of desperation in my interview that Meredith just couldn't resist. How do you know them?"

"Varric introduced me a few months ago," she told him,, braiding her damp hair out of her way before applying herself to the soup with an enthusiasm that betrayed how long she'd been denying herself food in favor of feeling awful. "Garrett propositioned me within seconds, and Isabela laughed her ass off when I slapped the guy. Apparently I passed the test."

Cullen snorted with laughter. "They're still playing that game?" he asked in amusement. "I'm surprised Isabela stays with him, the number of times he's asked someone else into their bed."

Mila raised a brow above a slow grin. "Are you really that naive? She likes to play as much as he does, you know."

"Oh, no, I ... I know that." He could feel his face flushing as he glanced away, one hand rising to rub his neck as he cleared his throat, acutely aware of her grin as she watched him. "I ... well, she tried it on me once."

"Oh? Did it work?"

He could only imagine the look on his face, scandalized but also deeply pleased to see her drop her spoon into the bowl and cackle with laughter, groping for a tissue to cover her mouth and nose as she coughed through her mirth. She swayed on the stool where she sat, her face just a little too pale for his liking. Without thinking, he lurched toward her, placing one hand warm against her back to keep her from toppling over.

"Easy there, Trevelyan," he warned. "I didn't come all the way here just to watch you brain yourself on the floor because you can't handle my raw attractiveness."

She snorted, rolling her eyes. "Your raw dorkiness, more like," she countered, her voice rasping as she leaned away from the press of his hand to take up the spoon again. "This is really good, by the way. Where's it from?"

"Circle Foods," he told her, gently drawing away the moment she made it obvious his closeness wasn't required. As much as he wanted to tease her into looking at him a certain way, doing it while she was ill seemed like taking advantage, somehow. "There's not much else they can get right, but their chicken noodle soup is always the best."

"Sounds like the voice of experience," Mila commented, watching as he filled the infuser with the loose tea he'd brought with him, setting it into her mug to steep. "So where's Alys tonight?"

"Sleeping over at a friend's house," he said with a grin. "I don't envy the parents - eight little girls having some kind of belated Satinalia party and all sleeping on the floor of the living room. Alys is going to be fit to drop tomorrow."

Mila laughed gently, careful not to provoke another coughing fit. "Sounds like fun to me," she pointed out. "But then, I was a little girl once."

"Really?" he asked with a certain amount of sarcasm. "You didn't just spring into existence fully formed as you are?"

"Oh, we all know that when the Maker made me, he broke the mold," she grinned, resting her chin on her hand wearily. "So you're all alone tonight, then?"

"Yes," he told her with a faint sigh. "Just me. Ordinarily I wouldn't mind, but ... at this time of year ..."

Her expression gentled as she looked at him. He knew she didn't know the whole reason why he found it difficult to be alone at this time of year, and why should she? He'd never been all that forthcoming about Rory, even to his friends. The two months between Satinalia and First Day had been her favorite, filled with the best of her silliness and playful warmth. The dark evenings without her at this end of the year were the hardest to bear. But what Mila said next did surprise him.

"You're welcome to hang out here for a few hours," she offered, pushing her empty bowl aside. "Not very exciting, I know, with a sickie for company, but we could, I don't know ... watch a movie or something? Better than being all alone if you don't have to be."

Touched, Cullen smiled, nodding gratefully. "I'd like that," he agreed quietly. "Thank you."

"Two conditions," she added, a slightly mischievous look on her face.

His brow rose above his smile. "I'm afraid to ask."

"Don't look so scared, I'm not asking for a lifelong commitment here," she laughed, shaking her head carefully. "Condition one - we are watching A Muppet Satinalia Song, and no arguments. I love that movie, and I'm the sick one, so I win that argument without needing to have it."

Cullen chuckled in defeat. "I can tolerate that one," he allowed in amusement. "It's Alys' favorite seasonal movie, too. I think I've watched it four times already this year."

"Good, you can sing along with me," Mila said firmly. "Two ..." She flushed, glancing down at herself awkwardly. "You're going to have to walk me to the couch," she admitted with uncomfortable candor. "I'm feeling better, but I'm kind of at that point where I could keel over for no apparent reason at any moment. So I'm going to need you to hold onto me."

"Who am I to deny a beautiful woman who needs me?" he countered with a gentler smile, taking the infuser out of the mug. "Do you take honey or sugar in your tea?"

She made a face. "And ruin a perfectly good tea?"

Cullen laughed. "Point taken. Come along then, Trevelyan."

Taking the mug in one hand, he moved to her side as she stood up carefully, making the most of his permission to touch by wrapping one arm securely about her back. And to his surprise, she didn't object at all. In fact, he could have sworn she was leaning into him as they made their way back into the living room, despite not actually needing to. Was he finally making the kind of impression he wanted to make on her? Did she actually want him to be here, to be this close? Maker, he hoped so. Alys' deadline for telling the truth was looming. He was almost ashamed of how much he wanted Mila to take that little confession well.

It was easy to lower her down onto the couch, to dismiss the flush on her cheeks as her fever despite the small smile playing at her lips. And with a small child in his own life, it was nothing to get the movie going. What did surprise him was the way Mila made room for him on the couch, then crowded in close to his side as the music started to play, wrapping her blanket over both of them even as she hummed along to a soundtrack she obviously knew inside and out. She didn't even object when - purely for comfort's sake - he raised his arm to wrap it over her shoulders, resting her head against his shoulder. It felt ... easy, comfortable. Right.

They laughed together at the funniest parts, the parts that he usually had to force a laugh at for Alys' sake. It was different to watch this movie with an adult who loved it so much. Mila shushed him so he didn't miss the best lines; pointed out the background details he'd never paid much attention to in the past. With her, it was like watching the movie again for the first time. She felt comfortable with him - comfortable enough to point out the little bits she liked best, to laugh at jokes that he might not have laughed at without her company there. Comfortable enough to fall silent ... to fall asleep on his shoulder as the last act of the movie wound its way toward the closing credits.

And that felt right, too. More than right. It was more than comfort, more than friendship. She trusted him enough to be so completely vulnerable in his presence. After a year of an appalling working relationship, Cullen felt a real sense of achievement that six weeks of behaving like a decent human being toward her - of being himself, rather than a defensive stick in the mud - had culminated in Mila Trevelyan asleep on his shoulder, nestled close under his arm, without even trying to keep herself awake in his presence. He felt ... honored, exhilarated, encouraged. For the first time, he felt as though she might actually not hurt him as badly as he was expecting when he finally told her the truth.

Glancing at the clock, he knew he couldn't just leave her asleep on the couch, and prowling her home while she was sleeping was just wrong. Which left him only one option, really. Very gently, moving with infinite slowness, he eased himself off the couch, gathering her up into his arms as he lifted her from her sprawl. She murmured, unconsciously curling her arms about his neck as her face pressed into the line of his throat, the soft huff of her breath against his skin doing highly inappropriate things below the belt. Now was not the time to be fantasizing about that. On soft feet, he shouldered into what he assumed was her bedroom - a tiny space only big enough for the single bed and a large chest of drawers, it seemed, and very carefully laid her down with her head against the pillow. He paused, considering removing her jeans so she was more comfortable, but ultimately could not bring himself to do it. That really would be a violation of her vulnerability. Instead, he drew the quilt and blanket up to her shoulder, his callused fingers stroking over her braided hair as she sighed in her sleep.

"Sweet dreams, Mila," he whispered to her, unable to resist brushing a very soft kiss to her brow.

She whined quietly, rolling onto her back with another sigh, a tiny smile flickering on her lips to tease him with thoughts of what she might be dreaming about. Was she dreaming about her Dear Friend, or about him? The fantasy or the reality? He didn't know. He couldn't guess. But he could hope.

It was only a matter of minutes to fetch a glass of water to set on the chest of drawers beside the bed next to the cactus he'd brought for her; to turn off the television and turn out the lights; to fetch his coat and carefully let himself out, his fingers fumbling to put the chain on the door before he closed it tight behind him. And all the while with a soft smile on his face. It hadn't quite been the evening he'd expected, but ... it had been good.

So close. Not long before the truth came out now.

[ask-svt-hearteu]

“to all admins (who are so beautiful it is sO UNFAIR) : it’s me!!! sofia ahaha and im sending this a lil early because i wont be home for christmas (:p) and i’d like to thank all of you because i can’t send over gifts due to the ocean. damned water. somewhere in december, i think on the 14th??? i will have known this blog for 5 months ! which isn’t that long but im looking forward to spending many more weeks and months on this wonderful blog. all the admins are so, so friendly, nice, amazing, interesting, beautiful, etc etc. thank you for talking to me ! thank you for being here for me during the tough times! thank you for your advice, thank you for your jokes, your rants, your posts, your everything. this blog has given me as much joy as seventeen does. really! i’m so happy i stumbled upon this blessing of a blog when i was still a baby carat and needed more knowledge. 

but please, you guys, get enough rest okay? i heard that someone (like joshua’s wife cough) doesnt get enough sleep and i swear im flying over. all of you are humans and you need rest. you all are in school and you need rest from school (which can be a pain lets be honest) and a break from writing. remember, we, as your readers and fans, care more about your health than how fast you answer our asks. we want you all to be happy and we wish we could give you back the happiness youve given us with this blog. i hope that in 2018, the blog will earn many,many more followers, the admins will make many more friends, and get more supporters (ok but i still dont understand why and how people send hate to the admins?? like fuck you man, these people work so hard arghhh don’t send them hate just because you’re pathetic and lonely and deprived of love and all the good things in life. Legit everytime I see a post about a hater i want to throw a pan at the shithole who hated on these amazing creatures. @jun @minghao @hoshi @scoups jom let’s go beat up the haters im bringing my frying pan and my sunat knife y’ALL BETTER WATCH OUT LATER KENA I SUNAT YOU) drink water, not alcohol : okay sO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT A HUMAN IS ALLOWED TO BE A TALENTED WRITER, PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL AND BE A SINGER ????? JESS IDC WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE G O R G E O U S YOU’RE SO QR3UBFD-BGQIF and you’re so talented and friendly and n i c e. You’RE SO HARDWORKING AS WELL YOU’RE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL WRITE ON THIS BLOG AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN (it really touched me when i told you me and my best friend were fighting and you sent me tons of dino pics and tagged me in pictures of him. that really cheered me up , thank you :D) i think you’re the first admin i started to talking to hahahaha and even though im really annoying you still talked to me? like ?? i heard that you’re in your last year of high school and i wish you the best of luck !!! do only what you want to do. Don’t stress about choosing the right college/uni or the right course, just do what you want to. Please take your time with the blog, college tends to stress writers out and whenever you feel stressed rEST PLEASE. pls make many many new friends in college and have a better diet than ramen 24/7 which doesnt sound too bad but that’s a lot of sodium. i hope everything goes well for you but remember if anything goes wrong or u just wanna talk im here! love youuu bb. 10:10 : ok sERI. WE REALLY NEED TO FIND TIME TO TALK because whenever i text you you’re in class and whenever you text me im about to sleep (damn these timezones) sighh. it’s okay if i ever have kids, i’ll sell them and buy a plane ticket to meet you. okay when i first started talking to you i was really impressed because you’re really..tough? like i really people with thick skin and people who don’t give a shit about what other say and tbh i’m trying to be more like that. people like that are so cool !! and ur so pretty and cool sighh im so jealous (you have vv nice lips dONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY I JUST THINK THEY’RE VV PRETTY oR dO I) also you’re really smart ! like you’ve gotten full marks for a test like woah hoshi is so lucky. i hope you remain thick skinned and brush the haters away, but it’s okay to feel bad once in a while, you’re only being human. but you can talk to me any time you feel down or u just wanna talk or rant or vent. i hope you don’t stress about school, please take a break if you have to (i dont want you to go away i want you to get the rest you deserve)anyways i love you ! my name is soonyoung, call me soon : APA KHABAR MY MALAYSIAN FREN ahaha im soooo happy i met you on tumblr. *ur the aesthetic queen* . i hope that we meet in person soon or one day because we live in the same country and won’t it be cool to see each other? we should have a photoshoot together. speaking of photoshoot im very happy to have a model sensei to teach me how to pose. also ur one hell of a sweetheart. you always share fandom things with me and i tend to fangirl in the middle of tesco or class because of you. hmm if seventeen ever come back to malaysia we should meet at their concert, given both of us are going. i’d really love to know more about you lmao you’re so interesting and you’re really patient with me!!! which is reallly nice. okay bb let’s find a date when both of us are free and leggo have some fun. i hope you don’t ever have to feel sad. well actually i think sadness is vital to humans so maybe anger. i hope you’ll continue to be very peaceful and freak out w carats and kpop fans across the glose and i hope that one day you’ll see naega hosh up close and p e r so nal. ilysm bb xxx my i geddit because wo ai ni so ur my love heh : hello my wife /name twin ish / dancer girl / jun’s / blessing to thie world. oh my god we need to talk moreeeee. ur so funny and we’re so alike (like we both swear like pigs) but we’re different because you’re so good at dancing! heck, whenever i dance i blind people from a 5 kilometre radius. all the other admins say you could dance my i with jun and i am sHOOK BECAUSE ho l ee s h i et also do you know what i would give to see you dance with jun? i’d give up all my memes. yeah, that’s right. my knowledge of all memes and vines and fre sh a vacado. apart from your dancing skills, you’re very, very pretty. i can’t believe you think you’re ugly , sweet jisoos, you’re have… the beauty of all the sunsets in the world. you’re actually really nice (stop protesting) because you’ve listened to me rant about all the damn drama in my life and you gave me advice. and you’ve never lost your patience with me. jeez i love youuuu !!! you’ve laughed with me and sent me dino pics to make my heart explode and you were there when i did something really stupid on kakaotalk. sighhh good times amirite? well we can still talk on tumblr. i hope you continue being yourself, the amazing person you are. xx love you to bits. seventeenteenteen : i survived. you havent killed me yet. i have stuck to dino faithfully. well actually, my first bias for like, a week, was memesol but then dinosaur found his way into my heart. i know y’all are busy and it may be hard but please rest. please don’t read mean comments, please love yourselves, please eat well. please do anything that would make you happy. each and every one of you are so, so important to me and i hope all of you are healthy. the8 please rest, i hope you get better soon. scoups, i hope that fever is gone. dino, i hope you find someone that makes you really really happy and i hope you wake up with a smile on your face each day and i hope people will stop prying into your personal life because you deserve to find someone you love and you deserve to be able to love that person without hate. i hope all of you don;t feel pressured to keep away from relationships because of selfish “fans” and i hope all of you will be happy. @josh @hoshi @jun you guys, please take care of your aegis. @josh wish ur gf luck for college, @hoshi stop killing these girls w ur visuals and @jun im waiting for u and sophia’s dance duet. i love all of you with all my heart <3333 thank you for a wonderful 5 months, i hope many more will come. love, sofia xx add on : i wrote this note before jonghyun killed himself and i’d just like to say this to everyone. the admins and the readers ; please ask for help. you are not alone. people are here for you. mental illness is not and will never be a light topic. suicide is never the answer. i know it’s hard but you need to stay, because we need you. i need you. it doesnt matter if we are close friends or complete strangers : you are so important. you are strong and brave and kind and smart and beautiful and you can get through this. you have people willing to listen. if somehow the whole world refuses to listen, im here. there are people around you who care deeply about you and please, stay. if any of you feel sad about the recent tragedy, take a break from tumblr, okay? i love all of you and please, stay safe. — sofiafabulousphan”

Admin Jess: Sofia, bb T^T I honestly can’t express how much your words mean to me. I love you so so much thank you for everything. I honestly won’t deny, it’s hard. I think it will always be difficult to a certain degree to run this blog. Not that I don’t love every second of it believe me, I just (LMAO LEAVE IT TO ME TO START TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THIS) I’ve never wanted to do something I wanted to just because I can.  I don’t run this blog expecting anything in return. I do it because I genuinely love, love the happiness it brings other people, because I love seventeen and I love doing it all. If I didn’t love it with all my heart I don’t think I would have held up this long. You’re right, it’s my last year of high school. My hardest year because I decided to take a multitude of difficult classes. I have cried tears over so many classes (I’m crying writing this response omfg PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JESS), I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, a lot of crying whenever someone simply asks me if I’m ok or suggests I get more sleep. I have been an emotional wreck all year. It is my fault though, I did decide to take challenging courses this school year, but one can only run on four hours of sleep everyday for so long and not be emotional I guess. AND I WAS TERRIFIED. I was so scared that in the course of this year, through all the difficult hours of studying and finishing homework at 2/3am in the morning before having to wake up at 6am and walk to school by 7am, that I wouldn’t have the time or effort to do just the one thing I wanted to do the most in the world. I only had one real hobby I loved doing and it was running this blog (again hella emotional and dramatic sorry it’s like one am here when I’m writing this). So I forgo sleep to get everything done. It’s not healthy but in my mind, if I gave up on this blog for one day, that one day might turn into two days, which would turn into a month, and then I’d never be able to do anything ever again just because I kept pushing it off, treating it as if it didn’t mean the world to me when it so very dearly does. OK I’M RAMBLING ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE CARES JESS AHEM,,, My point is, I sacrificed sleep for school and this blog not because I was forced to, but because if I slept, this feeling of guilt when I woke up in the morning, a feeling of “ahh I could have done more, I could have been better” would permeate my mind for who knows how long. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I hate disappointing people. So to hear you say this blog and all the stuff we do on it makes you happy? It makes me think maybe I’m not such a big disappointment after all, and maybe if I keep working hard, I can continue making more people happier, and that’s all I really want. True, with college approaching, I can’t make any guarantees. I anticipate not being able to do anything at all, and that idea is scary too and makes me want to work even harder now while I still can. I will definitely try to get more rest though??? I mean no one likes a sleep-deprived me at 3am lmao, I may seem nice but at 3am I’m bawling my eyes out over homework and cursing at my posters and pictures of Seventeen and school and textbooks in like three different languages (it’s not pretty lol). So yes rest? Idk what that is... but I’ll try??? fjnvksjn? I think I recall when you first sent in an ask, I’m not too sure but honestly the blog is about as old as you’ve been here so thank you for being one of our first supporters (did you have a book with a flower icon hmm trying to recall)! The hate I think will always be a thing I’m sure, I just don’t know how to deal with it T-T I am very naturally a sensitive human bean, what can I say... LMAO I’M NOT GORGEOUS THOUGH it’s called filters, lighting, angles, and makeup. The only reason I look anywhere near decent is because I use a combination of those things to hide all my flaws LMAO. As for singing, I’m not super? I can sing a pitch correctly I suppose? I can sing a chromatic scale? Idk if that qualifies as good singing (I can definitely sing svt songs in broken Korean shamelessly no matter where I go though). I’m really not that good, but I’m not awful like a dying seal or smth. I don’t even think I’m a talented writer, I just try my best I guess. I do sincerely try my hardest. YOU’RE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL I 117% would listen to you rant or scream about anything and I’m just super grateful you don’t think I’m annoying lsnfdnvd. OF COURSE I THINK YOU AND CHAN ARE THE CUTEST (or you and Jongdae pick your poison;) and of course I sent all those Channie pics omfg, I’m always here if you need it^~^ Thank you for all your kind words love (AND IMMA PRETEND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME JOSHUA’S WIFE BC MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT KDFJNVKSBBDIBI I’LL CALL YOU CHAN’S WIFE ISTG I WILL) make sure to take care of yourself and you’re always welcome to come talk to me bb :)

Admin Meagan:  aaaHHHHHHH, really appreciate you Sofia ✨😩 Gosh, can't believe you wrote us sub a long essay AHAHAHAH. Also, SUNAT KAU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Non-Malaysians  wouldn't understand lmao) But yeeeee, thank you so so much baby for taking the time to send this ask in <3 It's been amazing knowing you and gosh you are such a sweetheart! Also, Chinese New Year is soon, let's go out together ;)) Cafe hopping at SS15 maybe? Hehe. I want my postcard AHAHA and to spend time with you of course!! <3 You are such a bright individual and Chan loves you hella lots. Thank you for always sending us such encouraging messages and for being a good pal really. But for reals, you mean a lot to me and gosh I can't wait to meet you. Also I not model material lah AHAHAH, only a certain days ;) but yess!! A photoshoot would be amazing haha, I can try to teach you some tips lmao. And yes, thank you for caring about our mental health. January hasn't been the best month for me, honestly it's been horrible but stuff like this really warms up my heart yah know. So yes, really really appreciate you man. Keep being so spunky and loveable. Take care, stay safe and I hope we get to meet each other soon ❤️

Admin Seri: SERIously SERIously, you have no idea how much this warmed my heart. ahh i so wish we could find a better time to talk, i’ll work on that :’) i’m not very good at expressing my feeling through words! and for that mianhae mianhae. in fact, that’s one very VERY COOL thing about you!!! expression your feelings isn’t the easiest and hey, use those feelings to brush for those haters. as you know love, other people’s opinions don’t effect me BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG with being affected! just know, those people are irrelivant, and once you realize they can’t do a single fucking thing to you unless you let them, it gets a bit better <3 but GIRL i remember you from the VERY being!!! i can’t believe you stuck around this long , you’ve seen all the changes, how much we’ve grown, it’s seriously amazing. becoming an admin (sure as hell didn’t know it back then) was definitely my HIGHLIGHT of twenty seventeen. there’s not a day that goes by where i regret it, not at all, even when our inbox is loaded or when i have writers block. and you being here along that journey warms my heart so so much! i’m not kidding sometimes i find myself in the middle of the night looking through all the comments or reblogs and GOSH i just see every single sweet sweet message you leave. AND OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY FOR SURE GONNA VISIT AJVBELJNGR IM ALREADY PLANNING TO ONE DAY TO SEE MEAGAN SO LIKE DUHHHH WE COULD MEET UP!!! just augh i’m super super grateful for you message jinja jinja ily~~~ <333 !!! {p.s. i totally wrote bodyguard reader! Chan thinking of you, ngl}

Admin Soph: As much as I love you and as much as you’re my ai. DONT GIVE UP YOUR MEMES FOR ME WTAF. MAN I LOVE YA BUT MEMES ARE IMPORTANT XD. And you might only be disappointed after watching me dance with Jun. Ah I wish we could talk more too :””) We get along so well and Im fucking positive were soulmates just looking at how similar we are XD. Ah im not really good at things like this. Im really speechless because damn boi I love ya and you took the time to write all this for us :””). Youre an angel sent from the heavens. AND ME PRETTY??? NUUUUUUUU.Just like what Jess said, filters and lighting exists. Im only cute tho (char). But youre more prettier than me love. Both inside and outside. You're as beautiful as the northern lights. And like the northern lights, you light up my dark days :””). We dont talk much but we always check up on each other man. Goddamn I love ya. I hope we can make more stupid but fun memories together ^^. And I will literally hug the shit outta you when we meet. Also can we like talk about how much we appreciate ya? You’re always in our inbox sending adorable and heartwarming asks to both Svt and us. I remember telling you that your asks about the admins literally brightens our day. How you're little “I hope the admins stay safe” means so much to us. I really hope you only experience happiness for the rest of your life. You’re a person I really appreciate and love. AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUN. HELL YEAH I SAID IT. hAHHAH Dont be afraid to come to me if you have any problem. I will always be here to talk to you and help you love ^^. Please take care of yourself too. DonT FUCKING SKIP MEALS. GET A LOT OF SLEEP OR IM GETTING CHAN AND JONGDAE. Ah im sorry if I didnt say a lot. I want to say a lot but I literally dont know what to say :””). I WILL MESSAGE YOU A LONG AS MESSAGE ON YOUR BDAY OR SOMETHING. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GADBSVF ASNMK. For now, I love you and take care of yourself. You are loved by a lot and I hope your life gets filled with happiness and joy. Im also always here if you ever need to talk ^^