#pls its 2am

[neliellamatsuki]

guys, it's like 2am and I'm looking for a fanfic I read ages ago and I need it...

it's corpse X sykkuno, starts maybe like a group call? for some reason corpse goes to sykkuno's apartment. I think he was sick or smth. sykkuno has this crazy ex that's blackmailing him and corpse. sykkuno goes to live with corpse, then his ex starts talking to him again, he trusts her, but she hurts him again. then somebody posts a pic of corpse and sykkuno kissing and ppl are going crazy. it's like a million chapters long. used to be (or still is) watpad but I can't find. it somebody knows it pls send it to me. 💚

[hinamie]

truth is, I used to dream about boys like you

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[faunandfloraas]

[kokomini9]

can't trust the words behind the fangs 🐍🎭 a doodle with my take on his mask :3c

[blank-house]

[ncutii-gatwa]

NCUTI GATWA 96th Annual Academy Awards (March 10, 2024)

[sanajeh1909]

Dawnbreaker Zayne is too heartbreaking

I just wanted to pet him and...

[mitskikissme]

My very rushed love letter to @rowdyknives fanfic what it means to love her. hes such a talented writer no jokeee

[do-mkokoro]

ensemble stars a silly compilation of my silly comics part 1

[watmalik]

It's mutual.

[guroseinsei]

AO3: Sorry couldn't save this work! Publication date can't be in the future!

me, in said future: 🧍

[godduh]

i am so normal about them (i'm not)

[jinxed-sinner]

I 100% think Alastor's behavior is a trauma response tbh. It feels like something happened that inhibited his ability to be fully open with other people, sorta like Blitz. In fact, how about we look at differences and similarities between Blitz and Alastor, since we know Blitz's behavior is a result of trauma?

Both Alastor and Blitz take pleasure in hurting other people. With Alastor, he doesn't care who he hurts (although I 100% think he'd feel guilt for hurting Rosie), while with Blitz, he cares about hurting other people when they're close to him (most recently made clear in Full Moon and Apology Tour). Blitz enjoys hurting people as long as he's not close to then/doesn't know them, which is, in my opinion, a likely reason he started a freelance assassin business (and I actually wouldn't be surprised if it contributed to IMP changing their business from a general Hell assassin business to an assassin business that focuses on offing humans that have wronged sinners). The main difference here is that Alastor's emotional responses are muted (which is why he's significantly less likely to act out), while Blitz's resemble splitting in BPD.

Both Alastor and Blitz are reckless and impulsive. Alastor's recklessness is most clearly seen in The Show Must Go On when he fights Adam, while Blitz's recklessness is made clear throughout Helluva Boss (takes his team to the human world without proper disguises, visits a party where if anyone except Verosika and Stolas knew he was there he would be murdered for it, etc). Alastor also berated Husk on an impulse born from already being stressed out. I can't really think of any specific examples of Blitz's impulsivity and I can't decide if it's because he's so consistently impulsive or if it's because I genuinely can't think of any examples lol

Neither of these two assholes (affectionate) will open up to people unless something forces them to (and potentially not even then in Alastor's case). The only times Blitz has opened up is if he's forced to (Truth Seekers) or if circumstances lower his inhibition (emotional outbursts, Queen Bee, arguably also Truth Seekers). The closest we've gotten to Alastor "opening up" is his mental breakdown that he had when he knew he was alone.

They're both still capable of making genuine connections. Alastor is incredibly close to Rosie (something I personally think is because she has motherly tendencies), and Blitz, despite all his tendencies towards them, seems to consider Moxxie and Millie friends. They're both capable of forming genuine connections, but don't, at least not often; for Blitz, it's because he's afraid of it, and for Alastor, it's likely because he either views it as a weakness or would just rather manipulate people for his own benefit.

It feels a lot like Blitz and Alastor have similar types of trauma; their responses to that trauma are simultaneously similar enough to be comparable and on wildly different ends of the same spectrum. Blitz craves connection, so he seeks it out, then sabotages it when he thinks it's going too far. Alastor avoids connection aside from a few genuine close friendships here and there that he can count on one hand.

I don't think Alastor is incapable of forming genuine emotional bonds with other people, and Rosie and Zestial are proof of that. It comes off more like he actively avoids connection; he doesn't interact much with the hotel's staff and residents aside from Charlie and Niffty, and when everyone's partying in The Show Must Go On, he's watching from afar with Niffty. I also feel like you can easily interpret Alastor's muted emotional responses as him actively trying to mute them; he sounds like he's actively trying not to have a breakdown after he gets slashed by Adam.

He would've largely grown up probably between 1895 and 1915 (or something close to that, depending on his age when he died) as a mixed race kid in New Orleans. You absolutely can not convince me that alone did not in some way contribute to how he is now. Add in a potentially abusive dad and yeah, is it really surprising that Alastor is the way he is? It genuinely just feels like he's a product of his circumstances in childhood. This is doubly the case if the theories that 1, his first murder was that of his dad, and 2, he basically did vigilantism turn out to be true. He himself implies he finds it cathartic to kill the loan sharks in Dad Beat Dad and is pretty much content the rest of the episode after that, he doesn't even seem to care that he's sharing a space with Lucifer after that. I'd be more surprised if his killings in his human life weren't him taking out his trauma on people he thought deserved it to be completely honest.

*Also as a last minute addition, I think it's also easy to interpret Alastor's attitude towards emotions and relationships as viewing them as a weakness, something that it's very likely is also a sign of him being a product of the time period and circumstances he was raised in.

[faye-fish]

someone restrain me from drawing zukka fanart and posting it PLEASE

[unheavenlybody]

i wanna quit my job so bad but i like having money obviously i just gotta make it thru the holidays at least jesus christt. it shouldnt affect me so much but i hate it so much its not even hard but still draining

[jelly-of-many-ships]

Intersting experience in math class:

I was doing some work while listening to the good omens soundtrack because it helps me focus and I love remembering which scene each track is from. Anyway, David Arnold (the composer) also composed most of the music for BBC Sherlock, which I don’t think too many people know (He’s amazing and I love literally everything he makes). And so when I finished the good omens album it started playing other music by the artist, which in this case, happened to be the BBC Sherlock intro.

I have not heard that song in almost a year in a half. BBC Sherlock was like a canon event for me, it was the first real fandom I joined and it introduced me to tumblr, fanfiction, and literally every concept associated with fandoms. Most pieces media Ive consumed, and definitely every fandom i’ve joined since then has been in some way because of tumblr, or other fandom spaces. Even good omens, which I am currently hyperfixating on to a frankly concerning extent, I was only introduced to via the domino effect of BBC Sherlock.

Why is this important? idk...backstory I guess? whatever, anyways, after awhile a fell more and more out of interest with Sherlock, and while I’d definitely still consider myself in the fandom, I’m just not really that into it anymore, especially since the rest of the fandom isn’t very active either. The year when my interest was the strongest was a very interesting time. I was really insecure and not very happy, but I had some amazing people in my life who I really miss. These two things, I think, are possibly the worst combination to have in terms of nostalgia, and I find that experiencing things that remind me of this period feels very strange. For example I physically cannot listen to some of the songs I added to my playlist around this time without getting really emotional, but I refuse to delete them because they really do feel like a part of me. From time to time I do remember the bad things and maybe feel a bit upset, and yet if I could go back, I know I would, just to remember what it was like to experience it all.

I don’t think I could ever fully explain it but BBC Sherlock genuinely felt like opening a very weird portal, and so when in the middle of math class, immediately after listening to the good omens track “the end?” and vividly imagining the end credit scene of season two, the Sherlock intro started playing, I felt such a strange mix of awe and nostalgia that I almost started crying. It sounds pretty stupid typing this up, but it was such a unique experience, and I don’t think I can really explain it. Good Omens is the only thing I’ve been even somewhat interested in to the extend of Sherlock, and after listening to possibly the most depressing song of the entire show, to have such a sharp reminder of who I used to be blast full volume into my head felt like diving headfirst into cold water. It really does sound stupid, but in that exact moment I remembered everything; the evening I heard that song for the first time, staying up for hours scrolling through pinterest and discovering the fandom, the first day I told my friends about it, the day i read my first fanfic, the day I was so convinced they were gay I accidentally discovered shipping (lol), the night I finished season 4, alone, at 2am, the day I joined tumblr, the week I learned how to play “the game is on” on piano, and the lunch period I wrote my first fic after daydreaming about it for weeks.

These things probably seem pretty mundane, but this was like a new world to me. They represent more than just discovering I new interest though. They’re some of the only memories I have of that time. I cut my hair, I realized I was queer, and for the first time in my entire life I had an actual friendgroup, one that I still care about so much. Life was, at the same time horrible, yet the best it had ever been, and I didn’t even know it. When I really think about It, I realize in actuality how little time has really passed, but everything feels so different. I think to myself that there’s no way that person was me, that the kid who had so much energy and enthusiasm for life, poetry and writing and had yet never felt so insecure couldn’t have possibly turned into the burnt out, powerless person I feel I am today.

At least I’m not so insecure anymore? I’m not so sure what to say. All I know, is I think that moment in math class made me realize how much I’ve grown, how much I appreciate those experience I got to have, and how much that song will always mean to me.