#pls i love when ppl send me thirsts

[grippingbeskar]

goodbye 2022– a love letter

okay, so i am not one for long, sappy posts. in fact i think i can count on one hand the amount of times i’ve written about personal stuff on this blog, because i wanted it to be a space for me to just escape life and write for the first time.

i just wanted to make this post to say thank-you. i think i have written that word out about 1,000 times since making this account, but it will truely never be enough to express how greatful i am to have this space, and that all of you have been so fucking welcoming and kind to me.

when i started this account nine months ago, i genuinely had no idea what it would turn into. i’d been reading fanfic for most of my life, and the last few years i’ve been obsessed with the punisher and the mandalorian (not much has changed). i’ve always been the type of person to make stories in my head, especially with how much i read, it’s almost like i can’t help it. i also have taken a very big interest in writing recently, so i thought why not have a bit of fun with it and write a few chapters of a story and see where it goes.

my first official post on this account was the first chapter of the element of surprise series, and i remember getting my first few notes, and even a comment, and i nearly jumped out of my skin. every single one since then has been so special, and i still get all giddy and excited when i see someone interacting with my stories. after that i posted my first frank castle story, looking to tomorrow. i was so insecure about it, but at that point i think i had literally 0 followers, so i had NOTHING to lose.

after a few more chapters and frank one shots i started to get a little more inspired, and that is all thanks to the lovely people who cared enough to encourage me. i would have 100% stopped writing if you all hadn’t been so welcoming and amazing, and my life trajectory has seriously changed for the better. not even exaggerating.

now i’m here nine months later. i’ve finished my first series and nearly completed my second, both of which are over 85,000 words in length, which is fucking WILD. i have also written 30ish (im counting my drafts in this lmao) stand alone fics, and did my first ever celebration, writing out a bunch of requests (which i still actually have three or four in my drafts. trust me they are coming i’m just slow pls).

i am just so so greatful to have this space where i have so many encouraging, kind people that share the same interests, and find genuine enjoyment in the shit that i write. i’ll never be able to type out in words how much it means. every time someone reads my fics, i just want them to know how much it means to me. even if you don’t interact (i’d love to reply personally if you do!) i just love that people are reading my writing. so thank you. THANK YOU.

now. i have a few ppl i wanna mention who have made this experience all the more incredible.

@everybirdfellsilent for being my first tumblr friend and my longest. you are so, so incredible, and i genuinely don’t know where i would be if i hadn’t found you on here. thank you for your constant support, editing help, beta reading, screaming about sexy fan art, obi-wan thirsting and everything in between. i appreciate you more than you know and i love u for it.

@buckymcbuckbarnes BITCH you know i love you. do i even have to SAY!!!! thank you for everything— you are such a special person to me, and i literally can’t tell u how glad i am to have found you. watch out 2023 bc we have big things COMING. and they will be cumming if you know what i mean. thank you for your incredible playlists and every single fic and tik tok you send me. i love every single one. i love you. we say it all the time and i mean it.

@tea-and-wine for all our chats, even though sometimes they are few and far between, i always appreciate your messages and kind words. i hope you make 2023 your bitch!!

@marvelswh0re for your thirsty frank and matt thoughts and all your kind words. i still think about that convo we had about how frank is receiving a bj. it’s just always in my mind. i need him to **** ** ***. sorry got off track. THANKYOU!!!

@lemon-world1 for being SO lovely, and for all the amazing words you’ve left on my frank series and everything in between. it means so so much to me. i can’t explain it. also congrats for sharing your frank fic, it was incredible and i can’t wait to see what else you have in store!

@castlesnchurches i will never be able to express how much i love reading your comments on my fics. probably one of my fave things ever. you motivate me so much just by being so lovely. thank you thank you. xx

@dinahmadanimybeloved for your amazing messages and supportive words, i hope 2023 is a good one for you xx

@hellskitchenswhore FOR GENERAL KINDNESS!!! thankyou so so much. it means the world ❤️

and to every single person who has interacted, liked or read a fic of mine/ followed along for the journey— and reading this right now!!! i’ll never be able to tell you how happy you have made me. thank you for making a pretty shitty year that much better ❤️

get ready for more fics, more series, and more SEX in 2023. YEHAW.

[kazemi-archive]

KAZE!!! hello i love you so much and i know i always say it but i do wifey 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️ i think you’re so amazing and great and and and PRETTYYYYYY 😍😍 i’m never getting over you!! so gorgeous! so stunning!!! kiss kiss for u 🥰 but pls i love seeing you on my dash and interacting w ppl bc you’re chaotic in the best way possible, esp when you thirst over characters bc 🥵 you always have the best hottest ideas!!! and you’re so cute and i ADORE YOU!!! (also for some reason i’m still not over the tennis fact? i laughed way too hard when i read that 😭)

Send me one of these!!

BAY BBY COME HERE LET ME GIVE YOU KISSES!!!! I LOVE YOU SM THIS IS IT MAKES ME SO 😭🥺💜

YOU EVER WANT TO THIRST TOU COME TO ME!! I GOT YOU!! LEMME THIRST OVER YOUR HUBBY WITH YOU HE WAS ONE OF MY OG HQ CRUSHES AND I KIN HIM—I DONT TALK ABOUT HIM ENOUGH

AND more Snapple facts incoming !! Swear on it they always make me giggle

AHDNSKSJRVEU LEMME KISS YOU

[peachycoreroo]

random thirst— oikawa begging u to sit on his face because he thinks it’s the hottest thing ever feeling you squirm around on top of him, he’ll literally do it for hours bc he loves the reactions he can pull from u

,,,,,,,i'm really liking the random thirst my fellow h word friend

warnings: minors dni istg 18+, oral fem!receiving, cursing, face sitting, face riding, one (1) spank, oikawa being a desperate and lowkey aggressive lil’ shit

„c’mon babe, it’ll be fine.”

oikawa’s been trying to convince you for half an hour already. what’s a man gotta do for someone to sit on his face like he begs you to?

you sigh: “i don’t know tooru… i’ll suffocate you.”

“that’s the point”, he deadpans, before whining like a baby. “pleaseee, i promise it’ll feel good, pretty girl.”

you look down at the handsome brunet underneath you – all lean muscles and sun-kissed skin – before lifting yourself off his broad chest with a timid nod.

“fine, but i’ll stop immediatly if it’s weird.”

“it won’t be”, he retorted confidently, eyes glinting dangerously when you maneuvered your knees to rest right beside his head, core now right over his awaiting face. as much as your cheeks were burning with embarrassment at the position, as much as you protested, you couldn’t help but get excited at the way your boyfriend was practically begging for you to sit on his face, your dripping pussy right in front of him serving as proof of your undeniable arousal.

hands finding purchase on the headboard, you slowly lowered your hips down only to hear an impatient growl leave the tall male, his strong arms wrapping themselves tightly around your thighs and pulling you down onto his open mouth. a gasp left you at his use of strength and the way his skilled tongue made immediate contact with your throbbing clit, thighs tensing with the effort of trying to keep yourself up.

“i said to sit the fuck down”, he lowly scolded against your leaking cunt, his arms pulling you down even further until your weight finally pressed against his mouth and the sides of his face. oikawa couldn’t help but sigh contently at your taste and scent completely enveloping his senses, the vibrations sending goosebumps down your spine.

the setter ate you out like a man starved, all teeth and tongue, your slick and his drool trickling down his jaw and hitting the sheets as you slowly stopped resisting gravity and put more and more of your weight down onto his awaiting mouth. this is what he wanted - for you to lose yourself and suffocate him with your heavenly pussy and plush thighs. the little jolts and squirms as you whined and started grinding your hips down made his cock twitch painfully inside his boxers.

the occasional grunts and growls of ‘good fucking girl’ and ‘taste’s so fucking divine’ got lost against your soaking wet cunt, the vibrations only fueling the burning pit in your stomach as your hands tightened around the headboard and you started rutting against his chin and mouth without a care in the world.

“gonna – oh my fuckin’ god - gonna cum so hard tooru! please, please, please”, your whines slurred together but he knew exactly what you wanted. a firm spank against your thigh and a particular harsh suck on your throbbing clit had you cumming with a loud moan of his name, eyes rolling back into your skull and head lolling back.

as oikawa observed your lewd face, he couldn’t help but think that this is what heaven must be like - with your thighs quivering around his face, beads of drool rolling down from your outstretched tongue down between the valley of your pretty breasts, chest heaving and his name leaving your spit-covered lips like a mantra as you rode out your orgasm.

without giving you a second to recover, the tall brunet continued his assault on your sensitive cunt, not letting you get away as you tried to squirm away from his touch with a protesting whine.

“’m not fucking done until you can’t keep yourself upright anymore. now be a good fucking girl and take everything i give you.”

[snzunii]

I know this is literally him killing ppl but I couldn’t help but start getting thirsty for him

Cockwarming w sanzu? Maybe during a bonten meeting, sat on his lap with his cock deep inside you. Trying to grind and wriggle your hips back onto his cock for just that little bit more friction. A whine slips out a little too loud, internally begging for haru to do something, anything. Or maybe him fucking you, telling you to keep it down or you’re gonna get caught getting fucked like a slut.

Did I get carried away? Maybe. This has been on my mind for so long pls this panel made me horny I’m sorry and I can’t stop thinking about it now😩😩 pls tho him shh-ing you? SJKSJKAJK 😩😩🖐🏻🖐🏻

+ tags. cockwarming, bimbo!reader, exhibitionism, dumbification, degredation, humiliation, corruption kink, implied dom/sub dynamics, EIGHTEEN PLUS ONLY!

+ note. well hi there thanks for sending this thirst bestie bcuz i def enjoyed writing this ugh >< pls excuse my writing i haven't written smut in a long time i think...?

it wasn’t a rare occurrence for the bonten executives to see you—the infamous girl who was always on the lap of bonten’s number two during their meetings. they weren’t dumb, of course. they’re aware of what’s happening whenever you sit on sanzu’s lap every single time.

and it amazes them how gullible you are—you must be one crazy bitch for him, accepting everything sanzu says. you were too trusting, believing that none of them knew that he’s deep inside you, cock warmed in your tight pussy—walls clasping his dick, slick juices coating his thick veiny cock—just because sanzu says so.

he’ll always tell you to behave because they will know. and he knows how embarrassing that is for you. but the thing is, they do know—they aren't dumb like you, and it satisfies sanzu how dumb you are for him, his little play thing. but one thing that disappoints him is when you wouldn’t submit to his commands. you were always eager—that’s one of the things that he loves and hates about you at the same time.

but you couldn’t take it anymore. you’re so close, just a little bit more and you’ll reach it. but knowing sanzu haruchiyo, he won’t let that happen when he specifically ordered you to stay put. so why were you squirming like a desperate bitch in heat on his cock? aren’t you bothered that the other men will know how dirty you are?

sanzu’s large hands grips your hips, and that contact was enough for you to slip a not-so-subtle moan—begging him with your needy eyes to do more than that. you need more and he can give it you—tears were brimming as you plead him with that look on your eyes. on the other hand, sanzu was disappointed because how dare you disobey him?

not long, you feel his warm breath on your skin. his deep voice insinuates on your ear and reverberates all over your body—making your legs frail. “ssh. fucking slut couldn’t wait, hm? want them to know how dirty you are, huh? desperate little whore couldn’t wait to be fucked stupid with my cock, no? well, guess what? worry your pretty little head because they do know. now, are you gonna shut up?”

[utahimeii]

shes always so smug abt the look ppl's face when they see she has a huge dick.

ahhhh ty lovely <333 maki's big d is canon baby.

aged up characters

cw. futa!maki, horse cock maki <3

if you are not into this please don't click the read more!

pleaseeeee! her dick print is massive. and when she wears sports shorts it's almost impossible to not look at the bulge on her groin. whenever she catches you staring, she just smirks, spreading her legs even more to let you take a good look at what is about to pound your poor pussy. rip.

oh, and when she forces you to suck her off. you barely can fit her in your mouth! there is always tears in the way but maki is incredibly soft as she wipes them away, “atta girl. you are being so good for me, keep going. take all of me.” you are always so stuffed whenever she takes any of your holes with her fat cock.

jeez i love futa maki :') if you have more thirsts pls just send them i'll appreciate them v much !!

[pugszler]

bnha for the fandom ask game?

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

it's always extremely difficult for me to decide on a Single favorite character bc i truly do adore my Fave faves equally for the most part, but ngl i have been thinking about shouto a lot lately and it feels like i just keep getting more and more protective over his character bc i feel like he's ultimately the character i relate to the most in bnha. so yea. it's shouto <3

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

i don't rlly think i have a character in bnha that falls into this kinda category for me tbh? like it feels weird/creepy if i labeled any of the kids as this, like it seems much more fitting for an adult character tbh lmao but i don't rlly have any specific adult character that i feel this way about either? :/ i kinda just wanna be literal here and say that i love mon-chan and pino and i think they're the cutest <3

eh if anything, to make up for it, i just noticed that there isn't a "tumblr name" here for like. characters ur in love with/thirst over SO i'm gonna give u that answer instead lol. those would def be lady N and that one chick w the bow and arrow quirk in world heroes mission for me hhh

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

RODYYYYY 😍🥰💕💕💕 pls watch whm if u havent i beg u he's worth it

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

iida tenya 🥺 i hate that i even have to consider him an "obscure" character bc he never should have been forced into the background by both canon and the fandom at large but... :/ ppl don't know a wonderful character when they see one. iida deserves the world <3

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

dabi :>

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

bkg i guess? i'd rather not interact w him at all tho (i'd prob get more enjoyment out of tormenting his fans tbh lmao)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

e slur (and maybe if we're lucky, hawks will voluntarily follow him lol)

(link to ask game post)

[domjaehyun]

opening up tumblr to that entertaining discourse was pretty hilarious to me. two smut writers going at it to describe lubrication of the female genitalia in preparation for coitus?? yes please.

reading your last response to her on the matter, i had the impression of you coming off as arrogant. you described your skills, proficiency and knowledge of the english language. you go girl!! i am not being sarcastic, im just very surprised, and glad that you knew what you were saying and confident in yourself.

i guess to a natural english speaker, the technicalities of a word is very important to matter? the meanings, synonyms, all that. i mean, you have the vocabulary, so using the correct terms and words must come to you like second nature. i envy you for that.

anyways, back to thirsting over nct. December 11 is going to be lit, shame i wont be able to enjoy it.

ps. love you

DFJSGKFLD pls !!!! that was not the issue i had w the situation and i will maintain that forever bc i don't care what people do ! if i read a fic and i don't like it for whatever reason, i just move on !! so genuinely you could use the weirdest, most inaccurate wording on the face of the earth and i'm not gonna come for you i'm just not gonna enjoy the story,,,, and if it's laughably wrong, then... yeah, i'm probably gonna send it to a friend or two !!!! (i talked more abt the rest of this message ad nauseam under the cut but the nct related part is going on top of the read more bc . yeah)

ANYWAY yes back to nct 💖 i'm so excited for the album release omg omg do you have any songs in particular you're excited for?? or like . thoughts in general abt the songs? (i have many....) and :(( why can't you enjoy it?? do you have something on that day? i hope we like the album when it comes out :D i'm v v excited !!!!

p.s. i love you TOO :D

and wait––WAIT SDJFKGSLKJ PLS SORRY I AM TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY but i genuinely don't think anyone has ever described me as arrogant like . in my life (to my face obvi idk what goes on behind my back) BUT HONESTLY ? I'M KINDA FLATTERED IDK WHY i think that arrogance to me usually like . is associated with a level of confidence i don't usually have in myself y'know? so to see that someone interpreted me as like. That Confident is rly kinda nice to hear jdsfdsjsfj but i do genuinely mean that it wasn't my intention to be arrogant at all !! assertive and about my shit? yep !! catty and particular abt words? yep !! but yeah arrogant was not even remotely in the ballpark of things i was going for dfjksg

THANK YOU DFJSGDLK LIKE AS SOMEONE WHO ROUTINELY DOESN'T TRY TO BE A KNOW IT ALL ABOUT THINGS OR ANYTHING ... when i DO share my knowledge and like my thoughts on things that i'm interested in and passionate abt and ppl are like . rude abt it for no reason it just jars me bc like . i wasn't talking...about anyone in particular ... i couldn't name a single fic by name that used any of those words bc i don't sit around writing a little hit list for ppl who write things i don't like jsgfdk but yeah it was just very offputting bc i said things in the tags of a post not about anyone, then someone asked me to elaborate and i got excited and talked abt my knowledge on smth, and then yknow everything else happened so i was like . what abt me being particular about word usage was so upsetting?

but yeah if there's one thing i know for sure, it's writing. construction wise, i am aware that like . i have more knowledge on it than the average person that i encounter (not even saying that's bad for them im saying that it's kind of a blessing and a curse) so i notice shit other ppl don't and i'm aware of things people don't even catch!!

a way to explain it kinda is like . y'know how in some neurodivergent people, they can analyze and find patterns in what seem to be unrelated situations to outside perspectives? that's me, but i am like. aggressively proofreading every single bit of text i read dsjlfsdjflk this is coming from someone who is so admittedly neurotic about words and letters and linguistics that like . i will re-do my keysmashes if i don't like them... and if i still don't like them i will literally manually edit it letter by letter until it puts me at ease 😭 like i look at subtitles on tv (which i have to have bc my fixation on the physical words is what keeps me paying attention and i lose focus otherwise) and will correct the grammar like . out loud . i see writing mistakes in professional settings and it makes me agitated !! my mom and i literally went head to head last night abt the difference between "broken" and "separated" and she was very surprised that like . (1) i didn't back down at all (2) when we were done she realized that i was . right the entire time !!! as someone who hates when people just start being know-it-alls, i try very very hard not to be one !! i just Know What I'm Talking About and won't pretend otherwise yknow?

ANYWAY thank you for letting me say my piece again sjdgkfd i'm glad you don't think i was just . being stubborn and loud and ignorant or whatever bc those are things i never want to be !! (honestly i can be stubborn..... and i can def be loud...... but they aren't usually at the same time...... but if there's one thing i dont think could ever describe me, it's "ignorant" so . yeah)

but yeah :( i mean i think that i also have a knowledge of it that surpasses many typical native english speakers i've encountered ?? so i can talk to someone whose first and only language is english and we had similar educational experiences and i'll still find mistakes in things they say but i don't say anything abt it yknow? also i have come a very long way bc i used to physically cringe when i saw/heard particularly bad mistakes !! i am not like that anymore !!!

so yeah idk i just have a huge amount of respect for the rules of languages (i was like this in latin class and in spanish class–i understood the rules immediately and was like . exceptionally good at both subjects–on paper; i get very nervous speaking spanish out loud bc i don't want to mess up jdsfglk but i wrote very well and read spanish very well AND understand it for the most part if the person speaks slowly enough for me to get it) so it rly does just confuse/bother me when ppl just . don't care ig? i use bother in the circumstance of like. someone having a problem with me liking language rules ig? bc if you don't care that's fine i'll just avoid engaging w you abt stuff like that but if someone has a problem with me ... enjoying the rules of a language.... i don't rly know what that has to do with anyone idk but it's fine ig!!

[straighttohellbuddy]

🥺🧡 Im gonna send a snippet in my next ask!! Also I’m cool w/you posting it. If anything it might actually give me the push bc I have ideas!!! but most ppl I often scream abt ideas with are in different fandoms and they’re not too keen on corpse so it’s low-key awkward but my fixation does not let me rest lmao. I have been working on a playlist for the fic tho and I’m trying to group it in order of kinda progression in the fic if that makes sense? but atm the current playlist is just jumbled mess. STOP THATS SO COOL omg pls find a way for it to come up as a discussion point between reader and corpse bc that kinda stuff makes the dopamine HIT. I am excited for this music adventure n I hope life helps you find the right people to work with on that!!! -🐈‍⬛

I LOVED THE SNIPPET DUDE!! also i definitely feel ya on the ‘friends in different fandoms aren’t too keen on corpse/yt’ hence why i have a wholeass YT sideblog. cannot BELIEVE corpse revived my yt blog. my older posts are SO INCREDIBLY EMBARRASSING it was from 2014. someone liked a gifset of eef from idk how long ago where i was relentlessly thirsting in the tags, like, NO past me, you’ve got gender envy and an aesthetic attraction, but you are a Fucking NB Lesbian please calm down. but that’s a whole other thing. 

i’ve got too many playlists for this fic specifically, cos i have the album ones, but i also have the sykkuno and y/n vibes one, and also the full fic playlist that’s just the vibes for the playlist, which is so jumbled rn but i also definitely know what you mean abt chronological order for the songs relating to the fic, i do that with all my fic-specific playlists

side note, a list of songs you definitely shouldn’t think about in the context of angel!corpse/demon!reader:

Take Me To Church - Hozier (for obvious reasons, but it makes me yell when considering that they almost definitely think it about the other, if that makes sense??)

Saint Bernard - Lincoln (im going to go feral)

Crave You (Original) & (Adventure Club Remix) - Flight Facilities (the remix is much more the vibe im going for, but also the original has some lyrics that hurt my little rabbit heart. if this ain’t the reader idk what is;

there’s more but i don’t have them on hand rn.

yesssss so i’ve just started on the reader working on a song abt corpse, even though they haven’t really spoken, because things have kind of changed and ive got more of a story arc than i did before, but it makes sense. y/n needs a rest. badly. 

also welcome to wildly unrealistic things i think about that won’t happen in the fic, but that i literally cannot get out of my mind because of the aesthetic of it all. (and if ur sick abt me talking abt billie eilish in relation to this fic i’d scroll on now im sorry but her musical aesthetic is what i want my soul to look like)

so i go back and forth abt the reader telling the world that they’re a demon, on the one hand, that’s their business and the world can get fucked, it needs to learn respect and boundaries, on the OTHER HAND there are so many ways that they could?? the one that lives rent free in my head is while performing live, at a festival. SPECIFICALLY (the theatrics, ladies and gentlemen, and those of us who know better, the theatrics) i have this idea of them joining Billie Eilish on stage during her set, since they’ve collabed before and they’ve worked this all out, (if it doesn’t load properly, bcos its a 7 min video, the bit im thinking of starts at 6:11)

so it’s bury a friend, with this whole semi-choreographed duet thing, so the lyrics become kind of a conversation, and the reader’s kind of playing this confident, antagonistic character on stage as they both jump around, and duck and chase, but they get to that bit, to the second chorus, and y/n steps up behind billie so they can rest their chin on her shoulder, and y/n has their eyes closed and is mouthing the words, but their microphone is lowered, and billie’s the one singing

Step on the glass, staple your tongue (Ahh-ha) Bury a friend, try to wake up (Ahh-ha) Cannibal class, killin' the son (Ahh)

but, BUT, Billie gives this pleased little knowing smile, which the cameras that are getting close ups catch, and projecting them on the screens either side of the stage, and Billie moves the microphone so y/n can say the- Bury a friend - as their eyes open to show of their demon eyes and this wicked smile, and the - I wanna end me - is said as the crowd is GOING OFF and the bass drops, and y/n reveals their wings as the lights and screen behind them are strobing and going off behind them, creating the silhouette of these gigantic black, iridescent, feathered wings, and it’s so bright people can’t be quite sure if what they’re seeing is right, but then billie steps away from y/n as the lights flood the stage with red and everyone can see them with their arms out, like royalty, confident and intimidating and incredible, and billie’s laughing her fucking head off, delighted, before they both get into the final bit of the song, even though the music can barely be heard over the crowd at this point.

like i said, SUPER unrealistic and mostly just for aesthetic and will not be what happens, but the image in my head is very cool so i had to talk abt it. thank u.

[saint-patrice]

Tbh I would like to have the 34 *other* Bergy pics on your shortlist, complete with commentary lolol. And then (if you’re still waiting that is) any other Marchy pics with commentary? xD xD

oh my godddd you are my favourite person anon - ask and ye shall receive 😎 i should maybe warn that while this doesn’t have actual nsfw content you probably wouldn’t want to read this to your kids as a bedtime story. anyway, here we go: 

this was very close to making the original list. i like the soft lighting and the kind of floofy hair, yet he still looks like he could absolutely fuck me up (both like in a fight and various other ways). this photo gets me thinking some thoughts ™ if i am being honest

a literal saint and god amongst men right here. his brown eyes are so soft and his little smile puts me at ease. this is a man who would treat me right (fact). this photo is also from quite deep into the playoffs so the beard is going a little wild, and whilst i’m glad it isn’t like this all of the time, i very much appreciate it when it’s around.

O CAP’N MY CAP’N (sorry zee). nah for real this exudes some real sexy alternate energy. if i were on the opposing team and i saw this formidable man just skating around looking like that i think i’d just go back down the tunnel and hide in the locker room. this man will fucking kneecap you for the sake of a goal if that’s what it takes. and then i remember that it’s patrice and he’s the nicest man alive and he would literally never, but that’s still the energy this image has. and i ain’t saying i don’t like it.

okay this is just cute. they look like 2 dads who aren’t entirely sure how to take a selfie but are willing to try. the outfits lend this a slightly chaotic energy - i can’t commend zee’s colour combo if i’m honest, and when juxtaposed with the plaid shirt it kind of hurts my head. but it adds to the dad energy so i still love it. also this is from chara’s ig and the caption is super sweet.

DADS WITH THEIR KIDS ALWAYS GETS ME. i don’t even want kids, nor do i particularly like them, but seeing a man with his child is the cutest thing in the world and this, predictably, is no exception. patrice’s son 100% has his eyes which is really cute. speaking of patrice’s eyes, he may be smiling here but if you look into his eyes all you will see is fear - that child does not appear too bothered about remaining upright on the ice, and i suspect thay bergy is concerned about this. it would be criminal for me to not comment on the jeans. bergy has some exceptional thighs as these jeans do an excellent job of highlighting that.

this is Hot, and i’m not accepting criticism on that opinion. the crisp white shirt w no jacket or tie, and the top buttons undone???? i need a lie down. the hands are also making a nice appearance which i can always appreciate. basically what i’m saying is that i’m jealous of that snake this is an excellent photo and i owe the bruins instagram person a drink for posting it.

do you remember when i said bergy had marvellous thighs? well take a fucking sip babes - they’re like tree trunks carved out of carrara marble. if i have to die i want it to be because they crushed my skull. this is also one of the clearest photos i’ve seen of his tattoo, so it has that going for it too ( sidenote if anyone has an image with literally a pixel of his tattoo pls send it my way, i’m getting desperate at this point). i also think men in jewellery is a good look so i’m digging his beaded bracelets and silver chain. fantastic picture all round.

yeah okay there’s no escaping that the main reason this one made the list is 🍑. it’s exquisite. those pants also do a great job on the thighs too. the hair, socked feet (no i dont have a fetish i just think ppl in their socks with no shoes is kind of funny), and hands get an honourable mention

is this the only picture that has ever mattered? i’d believe it. patrice just lovingly gazing down at his son giving his hockey husband a handshake? you just can’t beat it. i have also been emotionally ruined by that tiny #37 jersey oh my

in the interest of being polite, i will describe this look as rugged. he has probably objectively looked better but i just like this photo and awful lot.

i don’t think i can give any commentary on this without saying something genuinely not suitable for public eyes. the 2 things i will say are: the only thing keeping me going completely feral horny looking at this is those pants,, if they were black or navy i’d be dead; and patrice i am begging you to do up a few more buttons on your shirt or remove it completely or i’m not going to live much longer.

oh man i just love this??? i can’t even explain why. the lack of much beard and the expression in his eyes just makes him look massively soft - i would give him a kiss on the nose and a cuddle in this photo

(gif via @gaudreau) i am slightly loathe to admit this bc it sounds weird but cuts and bruises can sometimes be a real look so this checks that box for me. his smile when he talks truly is one of the finer things in life too. also the lil shrug. i love you mr pikachu

a** fantastic **angle. this is just prime beautiful bergy.  excellent level of beard imo, the lighting shows off his v nice bone structure, and the nose is looking fab as always. weird observation of the day is that his neck looks nice in this

i mean obviously this had to go in - lord knows it’s fucking iconic. i have so many questions about how this situation came to be (aside from the fact that alcohol was involved. did brad initiate it? or patrice? why are they spinning? what the fuck? how the fuck? why was i not invited?) but anyway, this photo increased my thirst for a shirtless bergy photo at least two-hundredfold. at this point it’s a need not a want. i don’t think i can continue to comment on this without straying into nsfw territory so we’ll leave it at that. oh the things i would do

classic humble patrice making an appearance here, reminding us that he is not only the most handsome bastard to ever walk planet earth, but he’s a great guy too. just can’t hate him. and boy is he handsome in this gif. excellent stubble (im really invested in his facial hair if you hadn’t noticed), and the smile that could melt even my cold heart on display here. also bonus points for the previously mentioned thing about cuts/bruises. (sorry). i love this one 

in contrast to some of the prior ones, this picture is so cute that i can make nothing but pg comments about it. this is exactly the same face we all make when someone points a camera at us and says “cheese!” and i love that. the man looks good in white. good, wholesome content right here.

(gif via @weekendatbergysblog) okay the baby is cute but the fucking headband is what gets me in this. i’m able to make no further comment because this short circuits my brain.

(gif via @davidpastrnut)when i first saw this gif i had to go find the source video because i didn’t believe he actually said that but i’m here to tell you: he did. i love these hockey husbands so much. also i saw this tagged as “# hot waiter” one time and i still haven’t got over how accurate that is. someone more talented than me, i’m begging you for that fucking au 

(gif via @gaudreau) can patrice please stop looking up ??? it’s unfair that someone can look so good just looking in a direction what the fucK. he’s so stunning.

i love this one. brad pulling his hoodie down like that looks like he’s... soliciting and honestly who could blame him. bergy looks very cute, if a bit edgy in the all black. the hand is a treat in this one hooooooooooooooooo yes

this one show’s off patrice’s dark features very well. it’s amazing how he has such dark hair, dark eyes, big dark eyebrows, and dark facial hair, yet it doesn’t overcrowd or shadow his face ( except occasionally in awful lighting) ??? does anyone actually know how that works?? he’s looking very pensive here, and that hoodie looks oh-so-cosy. absolutely would cuddle.

**how cute is this y’all. **in case you thought you were just missing something, no, patrice is not sitting on a chair. he’s just maintaining that deep squat like a champ. maybe that’s the secret to his sublime thighs... the navy/deep red is an excellent look on him, and we get a rare glimpse of bergy with his wedding ring, which i find to be oddly cute. bonus points for him being beside a very cute kid too :)

(gif via @jakedebrask) this, i, ummmmm. i- uhh. just. um. yeah. so like. uhhhh... swiftly moving on

(gif via @davidpastrnut) this motherfucker and his handsome fucking face even looks good in that god-awful wooly patriots hat. honestly it looks like he’s about to go out and have a snowball fight (presumably with brad). decidedly rather domestic and i love it

(gif via @davidpastrnut) intense media patrice is intense. this is such a classic bergy face though, i love it. every time some media person asks him some big long question he puts on this exact very-invested-and-slightly-concerned face, its iconic. looking cosy in a hoodie once again. stop it. 

nice polo, dude

(gif via @davidpastrnut) that tshirt looks like its fighting for its life to contain those biceps. a dark, brooding patrice that has some sort of slow burn au stirring deep in my mind. from other angles in this interview the tattoo is fairly visible also.

this has such a strong energy it almost knocked me off my feet. again, i can see this being some sort of business or maybe criminal masterminds au. but fuck me, does that man looking something beautiful in a suit. the one hand in the pocket is quite frankly BDE too. i’m glad i’m not into dadkes or esle i think this whole picture would be too much for me.

he is literally the kind of man you’d want to bring home to your parents. i’m glad he seems to have cashed in on the navy/deep red combo because it really does suit him. he looks so fucking dapper here i may be very much in love

another excellent on-ice shot of him, albeit his slightly concerned expression. the beard is looking fucking crisp here hello sir. not much else to say on this, just a handsome, handsome boy.

(gif via @jeffsamardzija) another one that gives me Thoughts. he’s literally so beautiful. hair is cut a little shorter than usual on the sides and on anyone else it would scream fuckboy but i’m kind of digging it on bergy, at least on this one occasion. if i say anything else we’ll go down the rabbit hole

oof this is_ intense. _bergy aside, this is just an incredible shot tbh. rare that we get to see mr perfect not completely level-headed and playing it cool so it feels like a treat when we do. lowkey hot ngl

last but very certainly not least, mr patrice bergeron, four-time bergeron award winner, holding the award itself. this photo honestly just makes my heart swell a little with pride - it’s what he deserves!!!! just absolutely dapper in a beautiful suit as always, and a smile that could topple a nation to round it all off.

thank you so much for this anon!!! it was rather self-indulgent but i hope you like it :) also i will absolutely do another one with marchy, although my nails have been dry for about 2 hours now so i’ll probably do it tomorrow or friday, but it’s on its way :)