#pls i love this so much and i literally know nothing about the subject

[angelus-scripturae]

Pls pls write anything for Astarion. Like maybe an imagine, idk. I would much prefer something fluff but literally anything else is fine.

I'm starved :(

Well baby I’m gonna feed you tonight. Can’t have my lovely followers starving now can i?

Astarion Ancunin

Nightmares

Summary: You comfort Astarion after you defeat Cazador (not ascended)

Themes: Hurt/Comfort, fluff, mentions of suicidal thoughts and abuse, gn! reader, no use of y/n, no specified pronouns, (shitty writing because this is my first time writing in 2 years)

Astarion couldn’t sleep. Not that he didn’t want to, but he physically couldn’t. Every time he closed his eyes, phantoms of his past plagued the skin behind his eyelids.

He should feel better. Cazador was dead. The ritual was stopped and his kin were saved. So why did he still feel trapped?

He shifted in his bedroll a few times before letting out a frustrated sigh and sitting up. Running a hand down his face and glancing around the dark tent you shared. The only light being the remaining embers of the fire outside.

Experimentally, Astarion attempted to close his eyes in a futile last attempt to rid himself of the visions. Only to flinch and open them again upon seeing those agonised faces and mutilated bodies.

Sensing the sudden lack of presence beside you, you begin to stir awake and feel the bedroll beside you only to feel it empty. Feeling a jolt of panic, you open your eyes fully only to find your companion sat barely a foot away from you.

Astarion’s head turns as you join him in sitting up. “Sorry if I woke you.” He mutters and runs a hand through his hair. The frown on his face highlighting his fine lines and blemishes.

You shake your head and yawn as you come into a comfortable sitting position. “Don’t apologise…” You shift closer to him but stop once he flinches slightly. “What’s wrong?”

Worry laces your voice as you reach out to touch Astarion’s hand. His hand twitches as if wanting to pull away before he lets it close around your soft skin.

“It’s nothing, darling.” He forces out a chuckle. An obvious attempt to brush the subject off. You’d known him too long to fall for that. You let out a small sigh and move to sit as close to him as you could.

“Star… You can’t lie to me.” You smile sadly at him. “Tell me what’s bothering you. You can trust me.”

Astarion hesitates. Even after months of adventuring with you and getting used to your heroism and kindness, he still struggled with the fact that he could trust you. It’s not that he didn’t want to. He trusted you with his life. But it was still new to him.

“I spent 200 years not trusting anyone…” He speaks quietly. “200 years… suffering at the hands of that maniac.” He swallows as if trying to gulp down a lump in his throat.

“I’m supposed to feel free… happy. I’m finally able to live without the fear of being used as a pawn in some sick plan…” He squeezes your hand ever so slightly, trying to find comfort in the warmth of your skin.

“But I don’t, that bastard is dead and yet I still feel him looming over me. As if gloating that his death was quick.” His voice cracks a bit before he clears his throat. “Do you know how many times I wished for that? Preyed? A quick death to save me from him and my torture?”

His words made your heart break into uncountable pieces. Your eyes softening as you shift to hold his other hand with your free one. “Star…” You start only for him to cut you off.

“You killed him though… I know that…” He clears his throat again. “It’s silly for me to still worry about him. And the people he made me hurt.”

You shake your head and move to get a glance at his face. “Astarion, it’s not silly.” You speak softly, letting go of one of his hands to cup his face and turn his face to yours. “You’ve gone through so much. More than I can even begin to fathom. What you did was not your fault. You were coerced and manipulated by a man who was selfish and ruinous.”

His eyes finally move to meet yours, instantly softening once he sees the kindness in your gaze.

“You’re a different man to who you were under his power. A better man. Even if you don’t believe it. I’ve seen it.” You smile softly and run a thumb along his cheekbone. “It’ll take time to move on from this. This has been your life for centuries. Those habits will be hard to break, but I’ll be right there. By your side. Because I love you.”

Astarion smiles as his eyes gloss over with emotion at your words. “You mean that?”

You nod and press a soft kiss to his nose. “With my whole heart.”

He leans into your touch. Moving closer until he’s able to press soft kisses to your lips. “I love you too.” He whispers against your lips before pulling away and lieing back down on his bedroll.

Your smile widens and you lay down with him. Your head resting on his arm and your body pressed against his in a comfortable silence. No other words needing to be said to explain the bond the both of you share.

Your eyes get heavy again quite quickly as your breathing steadies drifting into a state of rest. Astarion glances down at your sleeping face with a soft smile and moves some of your hair to give you a kiss on the forehead.

He takes a deep breath, readying himself to tackle his demons again. However, for the first time in days, closing his eyes didn’t bring visions of victims and abusers.

But visions of you.

[ifimdreaming]

i don’t deserve you

//

Luke Hughes x Reader

authors note: i wrote this super quick and also on my phone so idk the word count or if this even makes sense because it is unedited lmaooo but I hope you enjoy it!

-

You had just hopped out of the shower and were putting on uour leggings and one of lukes hoodies to wear for the day.

You hadnt really been wearing anything besides for lukes hoodies when you have a day at home since you two started dating so honestly it was nothing new.

Going back to your room after cleaning up the rest of your stuff in the bathroom, you remembered you forgot to text Luke back last night. he always gets on you about that but you always forget how worried he gets when you don’t reply to his calls or texts.

And when you head to look at your phone that’s plugged into the charger on your bedside table, you see many missed notifications from your worried boyfriend.

(4 missed called from: Lukey @ 10:37am)

Lukey: hey you said you’d call me at 10?

Lukey: call me back pls

it was now nearing 12:00pm and you knew he would be more than a little bit pissed off that you weren’t answering him.

and you felt terrible about forgetting so you unplug your phone and called him back right away, sat on your bed with a towel around yojr hair as the phone rings in suspense.

“baby? ...let me guess? you forgot to check your phone again?..” he quickly says as you are getting more comfortable on the bed, relieved he had answered your call.

You just hum in response as he pours out his concern to you, knowing that all he’s saying is true.

“i’m so so sorry. i completely forgot. i know you’re looking out for me but i fell asleep without texting and i literally just got out of the shower.” You say and hear him sigh at your words.

“Luke i promise i’ll try to keep my phone close by cuz i know you worry...but i’m fine i promise” you say apologetically .

“i didn’t get murdered or anything..” you add jokingly but quickly follow up with an “i’m kidding...” before luke gets a chance to be a smart ass and tell you not to joke about that.

You laugh a little hearing him sigh with an unamused tone in his voice.

“anyway, how are you?” You ask trying to move on from the subject knowing he is already annoyed about you not answering his calls.

“i really miss you...” he sighs out and you hear the little bit of sadness in his voice and instantly feel exactly how he’s feeling.

“i miss you more bubs...trust me time will fly by way faster than you know it…we’ll see each other soon..i promise.” You reassure him, not trying to sound too cheesy but also trying to lift his spirits somewhat.

it’s been over 2 months since you’ve seen each other last. School has picked up and made it impossible to be able to visit him in jersey, even just for a weekend.

You were starting to forget a time where it actually was easy to see each other.

And you were getting so used to late night phone calls to one another, and luke sending you random long ass text messages about how much he misses you at random hours of the night. and you being so fed up with everything that you cave and just call him even when you know he’s busy or at practice, because you miss hearing his voice so much.

“it’s just been so long since i’ve seen your face. ugh i hate this shit so much. i’m just... so fucking over it.” Luke continues pouring out and his words are laced with a bit of anger, causing his voice to have a scratchy and dark quality.

he’s clearly getting more and more frustrated about the current situation the longer it goes on and you know he’s getting irritated with only being able to talk on the phone and over facetime. we both are.

“Luke i understand... i miss you and i love you so much. And look, i know you’re upset but there’s really not much we can do about it right now is there?” You say before luke interrupts you with a loud sigh.

“hey what can i do though? huh? ...how can i help you feel better?” You ask with as much reassurance in your voice as possible, trying hard to keep your voice high and uplifting even though youre feeling just as down and unhappy as he is right now.

he doesn’t answer and you are sat in silence for too long to still be expecting him to answer your question.

“what’s on your mind? Will u just talk to me?” You ask innocently.

“ugh. fuck! i don’t know! nothing i guess.” Luke sighs out, raising his voice and catching you off guard.

“i’m just trying to help … can you calm down a little..” you say quietly because you know he was probably wound up about a lot of stuff on his mind and you can tell that he is putting his anger in the wrong places.

“you don’t need to tell me to calm down...there’s nothing you can do ok? it’s fucking awful. i hate this...fuck..” he spits out at me. “can we just talk about something else?” he asks with his voice still raised.

“look, im not trying to force you to talk to me if you don’t want to but you called me and clearly something is on your mind..whether it’s the fact that we can’t be together right now or something else but you can’t just get angry with me for no reason.” You say sternly and hear him about to say something more but you interrupt him “just please lower your voice...” you add.

“i’m not getting angry. i’m just really fucking annoyed and you’re not helping” he says exasperatedly and you are taken by surprise with his words and a little pissed off that he’s taking out whatever he is angry about at you.

You stay silent on the other end of the phone as his words instantly put tears into yohr eyes and you don’t say anything because he is being so unnecessarily rude to you.

“i’m sorry, i’m just having a really fucking bad day...” he adds and you hold your breath trying to not make your shaky breathing noticeable as he keep talking.

You begin to feel the tears slowly start to stream down your face but you quickly blink them away knowing he’s only mad about the situation and not worth yours tears. but his words made you feel so so hurt.

there’s silence between the both of you for a few seconds as you try to get yourself together and acknowledge that he hurt you.

“Ok. Im not gonna sit here and listen to you complain about something that i literally cannot fix or change right now. i’m sorry you’re feeling upset and angry with what’s going on but you can’t just call me and take all your fucking anger out on me. it’s just not fair. i really miss you too ok? ...i’m sorry we can’t be together right now but i can’t do anything to help if you’re not going to tell me what’s actually wrong...just...call me back when you calm down a little” you say trying your hardest to not raise your voice and lash out exactly like he just did to you.

he’s quiet on the other side of the phone and you hear him about to reply as you hang up the phone before he has the chance to respond, knowing you are probably not going to like or want to hear what he has to say to you at this moment anyway.

this isn’t the first conversation that’s went like this recently. this past week luke has been getting more and more pissed off and angry rather than just upset about you not being able to see each other right now and it’s not doing you any good.

Youve been trying your hardest to just hear him out and be there for him but today’s conversation was different, usually you share a mutual sadness about not being able to see each other and talk about all the things you miss and then it cheers you both up hearing all the fun things you can do together once exams and the hockey season ends.

but today luke wouldn’t even tell you what was bothering him without getting mad and it didn’t help that he was putting his anger towards you.

Feeling really frustrated about that conversation, you plug your phone back into the charger and start to feel a slight sinking in your stomach.

You hated the fact that you just hung up on him and didn’t resolve your discussion. And you knkw it was his fault for getting angry at you but can’t help but feel a little guilty for just hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.

to get your mind off of it for a while you start tidying up your room and play some music to drown out the silence.

Now it’s almost nearing 2pm and luke hasn’t called back or even texted and it’s been almost an hour.

You begin to get more and more pissed off that he hasn’t said anything and consider just sending him a text but you remember the things he said to you . so you ignore the feeling and continue waiting for him to call you back.

-

After deciding to lay down and read a book to distract yourself, you accidentally fell asleep for a few hours. Waking up to see that it’s around 6pm...you definitely slept longer than you should have.

Surprisingly, you see that luke tried calling back and left a few texts as well.

Lukey: hi

Lukey: i’m really sorry about earlier

Lukey: can you call me back please? i need to apologize...i didn’t mean to get upset at you. i know none of this is your fault

Lukey: please call me back

You decide not to answer him right away and start making yourself some mac and cheese and sitting at the dining room table waiting as you wait for the water to boil.

You were beginning to get so impatient. Impatient with everything, but especially with luke. You wanted him to call you again. Do something, say something. Try harder.

Your thoughts were spiraling and you knew calling him back was really the only way to stop them.

After finishing making and eating your dinner you sit down at the couch to finally call luke back. at this point your stupid argument definitely didn’t feel worth all this and you felt a little guilty for ignoring him all day long.

You ultimately decide to facetime him so you can see his face and he answers you on the second ring.

immediately you see him laying down in his bed wearing no shirt and his wet hair hanging down his face on one side and his face slightly smushed against his pillow.

he smiles at you knowingly and waits for you to say something so that he knows if i’m still angry at him or not.

“why are you staring at me?” You blush a little, ignoring your anger for a moment. he just smiles back at you with his pretty little face and completely ignores the question.

Luke sees you awkward laugh a little feeling a bit insecure with the way he’s staring at you, but he continues. and he laughs lightly as he sits up and turns the light on so that you can see him better.

“i’m really really sorry baby...” he starts “i’m sorry for getting upset at you. I shouldn’t have done that. i was just so fed up and tired of not being able to see you and i let my feelings get the best of me, i also was just having a really shitty day. Practice fucking sucked today and you already know how shitty our game has been lately.” He says with honest sincerity and regret in his voice.

“i took my anger out at you which i should not have done...and im really not trying to make any excuses because I know i hurt you. And i promise i won’t get mad at you about this ever again, especially since you did absolutely nothing wrong...” he spills out apologetically.

You say nothing at first and just wait for him to continue his apology. making it clear to him that he was completely out of hand and you are not gonna put up with his bitchy attitude. And he continues,

“... to be honest i’ve been feeling like you don’t miss me as much as i miss you which sounds stupid but i just got so angry because i didn’t understand. When you forget to call or text i just…i take it hard..” he says trailing off at the end.

“what? luke i’ve been trying so hard to keep it together for you because i know how upset this makes you. trust me when i tell you i miss you more than anything...i suck at remembering things like texting goodnight and stuff because I’ve just been so exhausted with work and school. You’re on my mind all the time and i promise you that i will try harder to not forget those things.” you quickly reply, making sure he understands just how much you mean it.

“i love you so much.” You add and smile at him as uou see his small smile on your phone screen.

“i love you too baby. i’m so sorry for getting mad..” he says quietly and puts his head down a little.

“it’s ok...i understand your frustration.” You add with a little laugh letting him know you’re over it.

“i saw your instagram story..” you change the subject and he smiles at you with his face getting a bit red.

“You posted us?” You say knowingly as he smirks at you and runs his hands through his hair.

Luke had posted a slightly blurry photo of the two of you on the boat last summer saying he misses both the summer and you. It made you melt to see him gush about you, especially because he was typically such a private person.

“You are so cute..” you say honestly. and youstart to laugh a little remembering that night on the boat together and how it was the night luke asked you to be his girlfriend.

Luke wasnt always the most romantic person but he put so much thought into that night, his words, every little thing he planned he put so much care into and it was such a beautiful moment.

You would never forget it.

“im glad you saw it. i wanted to show you how much you mean to me..and how sorry i was.” he chuckles and it makes you softly laugh, knowing the world would have no idea that post was technically an apology to you.

“will you stay on FaceTime with me tonight? i miss falling asleep with you…” you ask politely and luke nods his head and smiles at you.

“of course...” he replies.

“i’m glad you’re not mad at me anymore baby” He says quietly.

“I could never stay mad at you..” you say knowing how true of a statement it honestly was.

“...and I don’t deserve you” luke says almost in a whisper, seemingly more to himself as opposed to you

-

-

[auras-moonstone]

hello there could i request jack x actress!reader where they’re co-stars on a show or film and they obviously have feelings for each other but it’s like “everyone knows about it BUT them” kinda thing lmao they act like a couple but neither of them has brought the subject up

let’s just say they were nominated for an oscar and at the vanity fair after party jack’s talking to a girl when he sees the reader talking dancing a little too close to an actor (who’s literally just a friend) and he just goes up to them like “hey can i steal you for a second? great thanks lets go” and just drags her to a more private part (maybe a romantic balcony?) and he’s like “wtf was that???” and she’s like “well i can ask u the same mr.” and it’s just angry love confession and they kiss (no smut pls!!) please and thank you so much 😁

angry confessions are the best😫 hope you enjoy it! 🫶🏻

you belong with me — jack champion

word count: 1,729

pairing: jack champion x fem!reader

summary: y/n and jack belong together and, while everyone knows it, they acknowledged it. though, at the vanity fair party, the very awaited thing happens.

EVERYONE JUST KNEW Y/N AND JACK BELONGED TOGETHER. And every person who knew them agreed in something—it was very frustrating to see them act like a couple and completely deny there was something going on between them.

The cast of Avatar watched their bond born and blossom. It had been two years since they finished filming that movie, and the cast thought that, by now, they had already admitted their feelings, as they continued to work together after Avatar. And, by the way they were acting around each other throughout the Oscar ceremony, they were sure they were finally a couple.

“Holy shit, Jack, Andrew Garfield is two tables away from us” she said excitedly. “Oh god, is that Margot Robbie? Jack please pinch me I think I just saw Robert Pattinson, also known as the love of my life”.

“I’m not going to pinch you, and your fan girl side is absolutely adorable” Jack said, leaving a kiss on her nose. Y/N laughed and hid her heated cheeks on Jack’s neck.

“I’m so happy for you two!” Zoe told them. The whole table was looking at them as if they were the most adorable creatures in the world.

“What do you mean?” Jack asked confused.

“It was very obvious, you two had always acted like a couple around set. We all knew you would eventually get together” Sam said.

“Oh! No, we are not together. We’re just friends. And we do not act like a couple” Y/N said. The whole table let out a groan.

“I can’t with these two anymore” Stephen sighed.

Jack and Y/N exchanged glances, but said nothing, letting the ceremony continue.

AT THE END OF THE CEREMONY, THEY ENDED UP GOING TO THE VANITY FAIR PARTY. How could they not? Especially after Avatar won an Oscar. They had to celebrate. And above all, Y/N and Jack wanted to get Zoe’s words out of their minds.

“Y/N?” a voice that sounded familiar asked. The girl turned her head around to see one of her ex co-stars, Nick.

“Oh, god. Nick! Hi. It’s been so long” she said excited. He was one of the first people she worked with, and one of her first friends.

“You look amazing!” he said, looking at her emerald dress.

“Thank you, you too” Y/N smiled politely.

“Wanna dance?” Nick asked. Y/N looked around, Jack was supposed to bring some drinks, but he was nowhere to be seen. She was about to decline, when she caught his figure. Jack was talking with a very gorgeous girl, who had her hand on his bicep and was smiling at him in a flirty way.

“Actually, I’d love to” she clenched her teeth, eyes not leaving the scene as Nick led her to the dance floor.

“You okay?” Nick asked. Y/N blinked, finally looking at him. She faked a smile and nodded as they made a conversation.

Hearing Y/N’s laugh, Jack’s head turned around and closed his hand in a fist at the scene in front of him—his Y/N dancing with some boy and laughing at something he was saying. And his hand was on her waist. Her. Waist. Not caring about being polite to the nameless girl—who can’t seem to get her hand off his bicep—anymore, Jack marched towards the dance floor.

“Hey, can I steal you for a second?” Jack asked, not bothering to greet the boy dancing with Y/N. “Great thanks, let’s go” he said before Y/N could even open her mouth.

He led her to the large window at the end of the room, which led them to a beautiful antique balcony. “What the fuck was that?” Jack spat angrily once he closed the door, blocking the sound of the party. The chilly wind of the night embraced them.

Y/N looked at him in surprise, then in annoyance and crossed her arms in front of her chest “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“That… in there” his tone was hard “You were dancing with him, and giggling and flirting�� what was that?”

Y/N scoffed “I could ask you the same question, mister. I mean, what was going on there between you and Mrs. Clingy?” her nose scrunched as the image of the girl touching Jack crossed her mind.

“Nothing was going on between me and-” he paused and frowned “Mrs. Clingy? What?”.

“Oh, Jack your hair looks so pretty tonight! Oh Jack, your suit is very stylish and the fabric is so soft! Can I touch it? Oh Jack, have you been going to the gym lately?” she imitated the girl’s pitched voice, while touching his arms “Holy fucking shit, the mice from Cinderella sound less annoying than her”

“That is not what she was saying at all!” Jack rolled his eyes. Lies, that kinda was how the conversation went “What about your boy, then? As if he wasn’t being all clingy, with his arms on your waist and showing you his charming smile, which in my opinion isn’t as charming as the girls on twitter say”.

The girl furrowed her eyes “The girls on-? never mind” Y/N sighed “We were literally dancing! What was he supposed to do with his hands?!” she exclaimed in a loud voice.

“Well, why were you dancing with him in the first place?” Jack asked, his tone matching hers.

Y/N moved her arms frenetically, it was something she did when she got frustrated “He’s my friend! We did a movie together a long time ago, we were catching up”

Jack let out a dry laugh “He sure as hell doesn’t want to be your friend”

“Oh, you read minds now!” she said sarcastically.

“I’m not stupid, I certainly can tell when a guy wants a girl”

“You’re totally wrong, but if he did, what is the problem?”

“There’s no problem!” he forced a laugh. “Why would there be a problem? You can flirt with whoever you want, dance with whoever you want, date whoever you want!”

“Then what is this discussion for?!” Y/N looked at him, she was basically breathing flames when she talked. “There clearly is a problem—you can flirt with girls but for some reason I can’t flirt with boys?? And you have to drag me away to cause a useless fight and can’t even tell me what’s the real reason”.

“So you were flirting!” Jack pointed an accusatory finger at her.

She let out a groan of irritation “That’s what you got from all that?! Really?! Why are you being so insufferable right now?”

“Because I fucking love you!” Jack’s statement was as loud as the beats of her heart when she took in his words. “And I can’t stand seeing you dance with him, looking so fucking angelic. It drives me nuts how he gets to hear you laugh and your sweet voice. I want you to dance with me, I want you to laugh with me, I want the hand on your waist to be mine… and you know what else I want?” he asked, his voice gradually lowered as he spoke, and now it was soft as silk. And his face was only inches away from hers. Y/N was speechless, so she just shook her head “I want to kiss you, and I want everyone to see—especially him”.

“You are so… frustrating” she sighed, now her tone was calmer “He is just my friend, I promise. And I don’t want anyone but you, Jack. Ever since I met you on set, you have been the only boy on my mind. I don’t care how charming his smile is” she said, and Jack whispered ‘not that charming’. “He is not you”.

Jack smiled at those last words. He brought his hand to the side of her face, to pull away a strand of hair that fell from her ponytail “I’m sorry for acting like a jealous boyfriend. I had no right, it just… it pissed me off as much as it scared me”.

“Scared you?” she asked confused, leaning into the softness of his palm.

“The thought of you being with someone else, and losing you before I even got to tell you how I felt… it scared me” he confessed.

Y/N basically threw herself in his arms “I love you, Jack. And I’m sorry too, I also acted like a jealous girlfriend. And if it makes you feel less guilty, I was two seconds away from leaving the place with brunette strands of hair as a trophy”

At that, Jack bursted out laughing “You remind me of that villain bunny from The secret life of pets”

“Jack!” she laughed, pushing his shoulder gently.

“You’re so cute. I love you” he smiled as he left short kisses on her cheeks.

“Just for the record, you are also the least intimidating-looking guy ever. You are literally a golden retriever”

He grimaced “I’m a cat person”

Y/N rolled her eyes, smiling from ear to ear “Just kiss me, dork”.

Jack’s hands grabbed her cheeks as she raised her head to meet his lips. Their chests tightened as they became addicted to the softness of each other’s lips and the taste of cherry that Y/N’s chapstick provided. Her fingertips lost between his long curls as his traced circles on her blushed-covered cheeks.

They cursed the oxygen as they pulled away, breathless and complete mesmerised by the other, as if there were under the influence of some kind of spell. The magic broke with the sound of an opening door, and Y/N couldn’t help rolling her eyes at the sight of the brunette girl.

“Jack! I have been looking for you” her high pitch tone made Y/N’s jaw clench. “Oh, sorry. You don’t mind if I steal him, right?” she asked Y/N, a fake smile plastered on her face.

Y/N mimicked her smile “He’s busy right now. Come back never”

Jack tried not to laugh “Sorry, I want to be here with my girlfriend. There’s a guy on table 5 called Nick who is totally your type, though, you’ll like him”

The girl, clearly confused, turned around and left them alone. Y/N looked at Jack “Can we get out of here? I hate parties”.

“Sure, love. Movie and ice cream?” he asked, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers. Their hands, as always, fitted just right. Like they were made to go together, like they belonged together—just like Y/N and Jack.

Y/N smiled and kissed his knuckles “You know me so well, I love you”.

[giveafike]

Hiii i love your dominic fike works :,) and i was wondering if you’d write a nsfw alphabet for ben shelton? preferably fem reader but if you think something else would work better then that’s cool too 🤞

TLDR: NSFW alphabet! I borrowed the format from other NSFW alphabets I've seen round here.

Warnings + Content Ahead: fem reader! NSFW, Minors DNI! There's a bit of everything in here, mentions of cum, light bondage, throatplay, fingering, masturbation, oral sex, thighriding, toys, moaning if that's anything to warn about - just read w caution if NSFW is a touchy subject! Nothing too crazy or wild here.

Azzie Notes ✚: !!! Bro, tell me why there’s actually no NSFW Ben content here?? And he’s literally so hot?? I was losing my mind during Laver Cup and now I’m losing it after seeing the sleeve on his left arm at Japan Open.

Anyways, this should go wo saying: all assumptions and guesses, girl idfk anything!!! I’m just daydreaming!! I hope I don’t repeat myself too much throughout this but erm..yeah! Enjoy!

P.S. IJBOL I'm writing this while watching Fils v Shelton rn pls im so unsrs. Do send in requests! I have a couple of ADORABLEEE ANON BEN REQS AND IM SCREAMINGGG send more, im so feral for a cute moment. The support and reception I got on my big old long Ben post has been so sweet, you all are so sweet bless u all 😽

————————————————————————

NSFW Alphabet - B.T.S.

A: aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I'd like to think Ben is very caring after sex, he acts first before he says anything. Things like asking if you're okay, if he was good for you, fetching some water for you, (carrying you if you can't walk after bc let's be honest here...you prob can’t walk after all that) ahem, ordering food and getting you comfy first - just a bunch of acts of service before he settles down and smothers you in kisses all over your face and shoulders and mumbling i-love-yous. He'd play with your hair with a lazy smile and smitten eyes and tell you that you're amazing and how much he cares for you and how he loves to show you just how much he loves you.

B: body part (their fave body part on their own body + fave body part on your body)

Ben knows he's handsome and he def knows what he's does to us lmao, but I think what he loves most on his own body would be his arms and his abs. Not only is it a testament to his hard work and dedication to tennis and training, but seeing how you'd react when you get a glimpse of his slick, sweaty abs halfway through a game would make him go feral. But what he loves even more is when you hold onto his bicep when you're out together, or how you dig your nails into his shoulders when he's deep in you.

If I'm being fr I think Ben is a "bit of everything" rather than an ass/boobs guy. If you are out in public, he has his arm thrown over your shoulder or tight at your waist, or you're holding onto his arm. In private, I think he loves you siting on his lap for movie nights, holding your hips while you ride him, palming your breasts when you're making out with him, tapping your ass when he walks by you, rubbing his hand over you thighs and planting soft kisses up and down your legs - like, he loves every inch of you all the time and BAD. He shows it so clearly with his deeds, he just can't keep his hands off of you. He sees you as nothing but perfect and worships you with his hands and lips.

C: cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think when you first experiment together, he wouldn't want to cum on your face, but instead would do it on your back after doggy or on your chest or your stomach, or finish off in your mouth - something about seeing you a bit messy and decorated in his cum would turn him on even after he came. But over time and with trust, he'd find himself obsessed with finishing in you. The feeling of you both reaching your climaxes together in full height would drive him crazy - knowing he was the only one able to fill you the way he does and having your mixed arousal pool out of you was just another realm of pleasure.

Ben would be a fan of having you ride his face until you couldn't handle it anymore. Something about his face being soaked with your cum while you moan and grind down on him over and over again, and then seeing you lie down beside him afterwards with half-lidded eyes and shivering after all that would be more than enough to get him off. Same sentiment for fingering too, he'd be so pleased seeing your arousal coating his fingers, like seeing just how worked up you are for him every time would be unbelievable to him each and every time.

D: dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Ben's into car sex. But especially if you're going somewhere special. Something about dressing up for an event/date and getting his sexy partner into his sexy sports car would drive him wild with the idea of pulling you over to the driver seat and having you ride him right then and there.

I think he's also into you trying to take control or being a brat just so he can flip it around and put you in your place - especially with some spanking or teasing, making you beg for permission to cum - nothing extreme just enough to make you whimper and submit 🙂‍↕️.

E: experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I don't think Ben has tons of experience imo. He went to college for a bit but he's only 22 with a demanding schedule and doesn't seem to have much dating history either. I feel like he's too focused on himself, his family and friends and his career to be hooking up and going crazy with experimenting. In saying that, he definitely knows what he likes and needs and he can learn quick too.

F: favorite position (this goes without saying)

I think Ben would loveeee holding you in his strong arms as he fucks into you, it'd be so intimate and precious in his eyes, watching your face contort with every thrust and hearing your soft moans roll out right into his ear. He’d want you to keep your eyes locked on his but you’d keep rolling them back in pleasure. He’d love groping your ass or boobs while he held you like that. Ben would also be into doggy, like your face and arms pressed down on the mattress while he holds your hips or grips your hair, bundling it into a very messy ponytail and tugging when he feels himself getting close.

G: goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

We all know Ben's a silly, goofy guy so I believe he wouldn’t be opposed or unlikely to let out a few chuckles with you. It'd be something as silly as him struggling to unclasp your bra or him accidentally slipping out of you that would earn a few small giggles from the both of you. Or maybe you're both drunk and having giggly, sweet sex - just whispering affections, foreheads pressed together, unable to hold in your pure, raw love for each other. It wouldn't ever be out of malice or anything, it would just be how comfortable you two were with each other.

H: hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think Ben has it trimmed but not bare. He has a little happy trail down that's dark and curly so I imagine it to be the same below too.

I: intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I imagine him to be so intimate and loving. He wants to hear how good you feel, he'll make you talk to him, beg for him. He definitely mixes praise with degradation but on top of all, he loves calling you his - "my pretty slut", "my beautiful mess" , "my girl". He loves making you beg and plead for him, holds your chin and makes you look up at him and plead him to touch you over and over again before he finally gives in and gives his all. He definitely loves taking his time when he can, making sure he doesn’t skimp out on anything and make sure you can feel his pure love for you in every action.

He def would love to have a whole ambiance going; candles, fresh flowers, a bubble bath, fresh sheets, a new lingerie set for you, soft music playing, maybe even try to make a meal for you too and it wouldn't be for special days, sometimes it would be "just because". He loves to tell you that he loves you and would try his absolute best to show it too, through kisses and roaming hands all over your body and trying to make you feel like you're the only girl in the world, because to him you really are.

J: jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He loves you, just thinking about you lying in bed waiting for him would help him get off, thinking of your moans, your voice in bed begging and encouraging him, the way you look at him and hold onto him like he’s your rock; he'd be close to cumming off of the idea of you alone.

If you let him, he'd have a private album of photos and videos of you two together that he'd watch while he's on tour to help him get off, and of course he'd text you right after (sometimes with pictures of the mess he made too) telling you how much he loves and misses you, your touch and your body. If you had the time, he'd also call you while on tour and have phone sex, talking dirty to you and guiding you the entire time and watching how your face and breathy moans through the phone. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and masturbating together while away only meant that sex together would be even more intense and intimate when you reunite.

K: kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ben's huge (both height, strength and well ..size..) so seeing how you take him and how soft you look in comparison to him is a massive kink for him. That size kink of his drives him wild.

I can see light bondage or restraints as a kink too, pinning you down with his hands or using soft cloths to tie your hands together, maybe even covering your mouth or holding your throat for light breathplay at times too.

I think he'd lose it over being told how good he feels and being praised in that sense. Like I said before, he'd love mixing praise and degradation and showing you that you’re his girl, no one else's. He'd love getting you off more than anything as well.

L: location (favorite places to do the do)

In no particular order: his car, the bedroom, the living room, kitchen - hell, even the bathroom right by the sink - anywhere where he can have you all to himself for as long as possible.

I don't think he'd try anything super public, like in a changing room, but if you're both desperate and horny, maybe in a personal gym or locker room for a quickie every now and then but there will be a round 2 when you get back to your bedroom for sure.

M: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Like I said, he loves you more than anything, literally anything you say or do would get him going. Say the word and Ben is yours and at your service.

Seeing you acting coy or feigning innocence when you’re purposefully turning him on (whether that’s by wearing his favourite sundresses or a new pair of lingerie he bought abroad, “accidentally” touching him through his pants, saying/texting something dirty in his ear while he’s supposed to be focused, list goes on) would arouse him too, especially since he gets to teach you a lesson.

N: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I expect him to be the jealous type, he wouldn't want to share you with anyone or have anyone else invited for your intimate time together. He wouldn't want to hurt you or do anything you were uncomfortable with; he'd put you first in everything.

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves to recieve, loves to give. When you're giving him head, he holds your hair back and wants to see your pretty eyes so badly, might allow you to play with your clit as you hollow out your cheeks for him. Gently asks you to try to take him all and loves hearing the lewd gagging noises as you try to deepthroat him when you hit the back of your throat. He loves having you suck his balls too or run your tongue over his tip and down the veins of his length. He genuinely sees stars when you're working away on him.

He loves to play with you when he gives you head. Teasing licks or humming as he eats you out just to send shivers down your spine. Uses his fingers and tongue to get you off. Once he's in a rhythm and is actually eating you out, he can't help but keep going which only makes you come undone over and over and over again. He thinks you’re delicious and loves watching you writhe for him and grip his curls.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

After tour, I think Ben would try to pace himself and make slow, deep love to you, once again trying to show you just how much he missed every single part and inch of you. Obviously, at a certain point, he'd lose his composure and his eagerness would get the better of him as he quickens his pace but he'd shower you with kisses while he does so.

After a frustrating game, he'd be fast and hold you close to him as he works at a relentless pace (nothing you wouldn't be able to handle, ofc). Lots of hair tugging, spanking, positions, marks and hickeys come with that too. He'd thank you and kiss you over your marks and hickeys after, gently massaging the skin he spanked and having lazy makeouts with you before you both find yourself falling asleep after all that.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies with Ben would be frequent as he just can't help himself! Sometimes in the mornings before practice, you'd have lazy, sloppy, sweet morning sex that always put you to sleep right after.

Maybe even in between practice and his actual games - where he'd bend you over the sofa or the kitchen table, even prop you up against the shower wall when he's supposed to be focusing on the game ahead of him - whatever or wherever it was, those quickies would have you moaning his name in no time, he knew just how to work you right.

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I didn't want to mention the locker rooms or personal gyms in the quickie section because i was saving it for this hehe 😝. Ben wouldn't risk doing it if it meant someone would actually probably walk in, he'd only want to have sex with you if you were comfortable to and if it meant it would be uninterrupted.

I imagine Ben making you spread in front of him as you sit on a bench while he kneels to eat you out, covering your mouth or making you suck his fingers to stifle your noise, so you don't get caught.

I think if he was really into it, Ben might even go as far as to buying those remote control vibrators that he can control, just to watch you squirm for him in the stands during his matches or while you were out together for some errands. He'd only take it as far as you wanted to go, though ofc.

s= stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Well, I just watched Ben battle Fils for 3 hours straight at the Japan Open while getting his leg hurt - I think he's got plenty of stamina so long as you can take it. He'd always ask for "one more?" in the sweetest softest voice, especially after you spent time away from each other.

t= toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He'd love seeing how you squirm with vibrators and try buy cutesy toys like fluffy cuffs or a small pink handheld vibrator for you to use while on tour (and to use while on video call with him). I don't think Ben would know much about toys for himself, but if you brought the idea up, he'd try anything for you.

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

LOVES to make you beg for just how much you want him. "Say please", "what do you want exactly? Use your words baby, I know you can", "You want more? beg for it", "look at me with those pretty eyes and ask. me. again". And he'd work you up so much, just to say no and watch you pout and beg even more. Ben loves to be in charge and on top, knowing you were in the palm of his hand (when really, he was wrapped around your finger).

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not too loud, he groans and grunts in your ear and lets out a few gasps and curse words out alongside his mix of praise and degradation and i-love-yous. He's vocal with telling you what he wants or needs more of, what feels good and how you feel.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Loves, loves, LOVES you riding his thigh. He'll casually ask you to sit on his lap and watch a movie and both of you knew full well what was going to go down. Loves feeling you grinding desperately against his thigh and seeing you become a mess for a bit of friction. (I'm in the midst of writing smth about thigh riding just u wait 🤭)

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

If a picture paints a thousand words, look at the pics I've attached and look REAL close. He's called Big Ben for a reason babe.

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is only on full blast for you. He's constantly hungry for more of you, can't get enough. Like I said, he's whipped for you.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He would hold you tight, make sure you're not hungry or thirsty or uncomfortable before you went to sleep. If something upset you, he'd make sure he understood and talked it out so he wouldn't ever do it again, you're his main priority in everything. If you were sore after, he'd apologise smiling (his ego and pride obv through the roof) and gently massage your thighs and hips, planting soft kisses on your forehead.

He'd hold you til you fell asleep and then he'd fall asleep almost immediately after, knowing you were happy and loved in his arms.

and now we go and pray after all this 🧎‍♀️😽

[moons-of-dewclan]

I was curious how to get your clan really set off? I recently (LIKE EARLIER TODAY JFJSJFJ) started my own clangen blog but idk if it's worthy of Tumblr😭

How can I improve my art and improve my process? You're one of my BIGGEST inspirations ngl you're literally him (or her or they I'm so sorry I never caught your pronouns) but I was just curious on how to be better? If you wanna look, don't. It's like, rlly bad so.... save your eyes. Have a lovely nighttt <33

HELLOOOOO I'M NOT 100% SURE WHAT YOU MEAN BY SET OFF I'M SORRY :{ if you mean to get people reading it, i think it's vastly just luck also appealing to an audience by accident i posted my art online for 10 years (i started posting in 2010 as a wee ka- told you i'm an adult haahahueu) before anyone showed consistent interest and i valued those two or so commenters who occasionally had something to say about my stuff, so much LAKSNLKD. that entire decade i got between 2 and 30 favourites for every piece i posted- usually between 2 and 10- until around 2021 when a making a comic aANNND joining a wolf ARPG group exposed me to many kindred art-enjoyers that wanted to keep up with my goofy stories then for some reason, i posted Dewclan's first page on tumblr and it got way more engagement than any other piece of art i've ever posted SO LAKSDNLKDAS WE CANNOT PREDICT THESE THINGS.. at least i can't if you're looking for engagement, pLS AIM FOR ENGAGEMENT THAT FEELS MEANINGFUL over anything else IN MY OPINION, and it's just my opinion- part of being 'better' is, first and foremost, being able to enjoy your art alone. and then being excited with what you choose to share! even if you don't care about your quality of art, care about the story. if you don't care about the story, care about the process and just having fun. but you have to have fun in doing it, and do it for your own eyes primarily. like if you were alone in a room and creating only for yourself! because, until you happen to find others who like what you're liking, you are then when someone is interested and you get to share that excitement, even that ooone comment on something you care about is OOGHHH SUCH A NICE FEELIN. enter communities, comment on other artists' work, try to make friends! but make sure to remember, if you create with the hopes others will like it, without liking it yourself, you're going to be really broken down if someone doesn't like it FOR you :{ loving your own art is tough work but it's integral to your longterm relationship with drawing ON IMPROVING.. for me, nothing is more integral to improving than finding a way to practice that suits you (looking at live figures doesn't help me at all. i don't know why. it's insane), and having fun doing it. i can't grasp anatomy unless i break it down with shapes. SHAPES ARE EVERYTHING. study the shapes of what you want to draw. break em down by tracing simple shapes over your subject. see if the leg is the same length as the head from muzzle to neck and lock that info in. STUFF LIKE THAT on the technical side of things, it can be super helpful to dedicate half an hour or so to drawing a day- eventually it becomes a habit and you just default to 'oh i think i wanna draw' when you've got nothing else to do. more drawing, more improvement!

HONESTLY THO another important thing is not putting yourself down. i know it's a hard habit to break (i struggle with it outside of art myself!), but it doesn't do you any favours. the more you rag on yourself, the more it'll manifest as something that actually damages your art, AND your relationship with it. let it be fun- don't sabotage yourself! you can be critical of your work and still kind! little tip here, improving can take a while, but experimenting with styles can make an INSTANT shift in how you perceive your stuff. ALSOOO EXPERIMENT WITH DIFFERENT BRUSHES FOR SKETCHING AND LINING. I PROOMISE. PLS DO IT. IT'S LIKE A MAGIC TRICK. i cannNNNOT sketch with a hard brush. everything looks horrible. marker brush tho?? so smooth. full of character. lovely. binary brush sketches? suddenly i'm Anime. pencil brush?? i digidevolve back into baby ka who loved to crosshatch and do semi realism. airbrush??? i explode into atoms actually

i find for a lot of people, they don't need to improve or be 'better' at art, they need to learn to enjoy what they're capable of doing now, and improvement is a byproduct. from what i've seen through the years, unless you work to curb it the negative view of your art will stick with you no matter what 'skill level' you get to bc the calls' comin from inside the house, yknow what i mean 3: it can be a long process to learn to accept your art, and sometimes you just plain grow out of it over time! but in the meantime it can't hurt to make efforts to fight your d e m o n s

I'M SORRY I WROTE SO MUCH IK YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS ALL IT ISN'T JUST TO YOU, ODESSY-CLAN BLOG RUNNER, IT'S AIMED AT ANYONE WITH ARTSY SELF DOUBTS. i hope i phrased everything kindly bc i meant it all kindly 3: i hate to see an artist doubt their work, but THERE IS NO SHAME IN IT. i want to encourage loving it regardless of any flaws tho, even though it takes time!

[yenqa]

APPLE CIDER!

thank u @soov for helping me pick the banner!

sypnosis : you haven’t experienced much love in your life. well reciprocated romantic love, your first “boyfriend”, was only with you because a bet. until you unexpectedly meet jay, a frat boy whose known for breaking hearts. you’d be a fool to give him a chance right? too bad you both like apple cider.

or

when a heartbroken girl meets a heart breaker and they bond over apple cider.

featuring : enhypen, chaewon of lsfm, eunbi, one member of txt (EL OH EL THERES LIKE NO ONE)

warnings : literally the most cliche story ever, swearing, underage drinking, food, parties, crying, kissing (not in detail), being drunk (not reader), crying, angsty, reader hates parties, mentions of hooking up/sex, mentions of weed, reader has bad habits, blood, i think thats it?

wc : 7.9k (only 900 words over the expected amount!!)

pairing : jay x fem!reader (uses she/her)

a/n : hey guys… this fic is the most cliche shit ever and idk how it happened,,, u would think this would be like original but its not 😂 🤣. heres the playlist i listened to while making it! and everyone thank @wonieleles and @redm4ri for proof reading it !! anyways,,, enjoy!

READ PART TWO HERE!

cut glitch pls spare me

001 THE INVITATION

“c’mon y/n! i know you’re not over hyun-woo but please! one party! it’s been like a month since you broke up, and yeonjun personally invited me to this party!”

“way to put it lightly chaewon,” you’re tempted to leave and sit somewhere else. can’t she just understand you don’t want to go?

“please! i’ll get you um- coffee for a week!”

you scoff at her suggestion, but after thinking about it, it does seem like a pretty good offer. i mean, it will be  just one party right?

“when’s the party ?” you ask, almost persuaded.

“it’s this friday, i can pick you up, and we can get there at nine. the party starts at like eight, but everyone goes at nine.” she pauses for a moment before continuing.

“if you’re uncomfortable, we can leave right away! plus, your beloved chaewon would be right next to you the whole time! isn’t that tempting?” she elbows you softly, and you give her a disgusted look before changing back to your normal one.

“fine. but! you have to let me borrow a dress because i don’t really have any party dresses.”

“you have that one green one! that’s like a v-neck!” chaewon shapes the dress out with her hands, trying to prove her point.

“it’s too big,” you point out, taking a bite out of your forgotten lunch.

“okay fine… i’ll pick you up at seven, and we can get ready and stuff at my house! i’m not lending you any makeup though.” she picks back up her fork, stuffing her mouth with food.

“fine with me.” you shrug, taking a sip of water.

chaewon’s voice suddenly goes quiet, “y/n, you know those really popular guys? well one of them is looking at you!” she whisper-shouts, trying her best to hide her expression.

“so? you’re popular too, maybe he’s staring at you.” you brush it off, why would it even matter anyways?

“no y/n- that’s jay park. he’s like- he has some major beef with hyun-woo.”

“and what does that have to do with me?”

“jay is a heartbreaker, maybe you’re his next subject to get hyun-woo mad or some shit because i know sunghoon told him about you two.”

“so? hyun-woo didn’t even like me, nothing bad will happen,” you reassure her, patting her shoulder. okay, but who the hell is sunghoon? you wonder.

“whatever you say. but stay away from him okay?” she looks at you seriously.

“okay but what does he even look like-?” you whip your head around to see a group of guys laughing. one shamelessly staring at you. he smirks at you, a wink coming soon after. you look at him in disgust, turning around.

“why did you look y/n!” chaewon whisper-shouts again.

“what? i was curious. how am i supposed to stay away from him if i don’t know who he is?” you put your hands up in defense.

“okay fine…” she groans.

“you’re still going to the party right?”

“yeah sure, whatever.”

002 FIRST MEETING

you enter your last period of the day, which also happens to be your least favorite, math. you never really understood why it was necessary in the real world, when would you need to figure out what the integral of a function is? but it’s not like you want to retake math in your senior year. so you get your notebook, and mechanical pencil out, clicking the end a few times before writing the date at the top of the page.

as you’re writing the date down, you can hear the repeated taps on your shoulder from the person behind you, so you turn around to face eunbi.

“hey, are you going to yeonjun’s party?” eunbi asked curiously.

you don’t know why she asked considering you two weren’t the closest of friends, and honestly, you thought she trusted people too easily, which included you. but it wouldn’t hurt to answer right?

“yeah i’m going with chaewon, are you?”

“yeah, me and hyun-woo will be there,” she says almost teasingly. eunbi gives you a genuine smile like she had no clue that you and hyun-woo ever dated. but in reality, she didn’t.

you and hyun-woo kept it on the low, so no one really knew about you two unless they saw you on dates. maybe he did that so he could cheat on you at parties you didn’t go to without anyone knowing. but you tried not to think about him anymore. it’s not like he’s going to beg on his knees for you  to take him  back.

“oh, well i think class is starting soon, but i’ll make sure to say hi at the party.” you notice how your voice almost deflates after she mentioned him. and eunbi almost notices it too. until her train of thought is broken when your math teacher, mrs. lim, walks in.

one thing you had forgotten was that jay was in your math class. he seems to be having the time of his life on his phone, and sometimes during that period, it’s obvious that mrs. lim catches him, clearly typing away under his desk, but she never seems to point it out. 

you never seemed to be mrs. lim favorite. but you definitely weren’t her least favorite. you participated sometimes, usually getting the answers right, and you never really talked or interrupted anything in that class. it was obvious to you at least, that jay was mrs. lim’s favorite. he never got detention for being late, didn’t even have his laptop charged a majority of the time, and he never seemed to look at the board. any of this would’ve easily gotten you detention with an email to your parents, but unless mrs. lim had been doing this on the down low (which she never does), then it’s obvious she favors him over the rest.

mrs. lim had this annoying thing where she would write three questions on the board, and would draw sticks with each person's name on it to see who would answer the question. and to your luck, you were the second person to be called.

you step up to the whiteboard, trying to solve the equation as efficiently as possible so you could quickly sit back down. she calls out the next person's name to which you didn’t really care, it’s not like it would change anything. well until you saw a familiar sharp jawline, standing right next to you. whatever side fate was on, it wasn’t on yours because just as you had suspected, he had no idea what to write.

“y/n right?” he whispers closely to your ear, making you scoot away, “can you help me solve this?”

“no i can’t” you smile sarcastically, “maybe if you’d pay attention you would know.” you finish writing the answer as you place the cap back onto the marker, walking back to your seat. he smirks at your interaction, writing his solution on the whiteboard. okay, so he did know how to solve the equation? he just asked me for fun i guess. you internally groan, realizing that chaewon was right, you truly were jay’s new target.

003 THE PARTY 

friday rolled around more quickly than you would like. you told your parents previously that you were going to sleep over at chaewon’s house, and luckily they allowed it. so, you grabbed your makeup bag and everything you needed to stay the night, (including some medicine in case chaewon got a hangover). you wave goodbye to your parents when you see chaewon’s car parked outside your house. as you head to her house, you start to regret even agreeing to her deal. was a week’s worth of coffee really worth going to some stupid fuck-boys party? it was already too late when you started to put on your makeup, deciding to have some slightly brighter eyeshadow than your usual going-out look.

“no one will notice my eyeshadow, right? i feel like it’s kind of bright.” you turn to face chaewon, who’s picking an outfit out for the both of you.

she scans your eyes, stopping with an outfit in her hands.

“put more on your left eye, to balance it out.” she replies, laying out the clothes on her bed.

you touch up your eye, adding your eyeliner and some lip tint to your lips as you turn to see all the outfit options.

“ta-daa~ do you like these?” she gives you jazz hands, picking the clothes up and imagining they’re on you. in the end, you both chose the outfit with the skirt rather than the dresses. chaewon picked out her outfit, and you both left the house. luckily, chaewon’s parents were taking a vacation somewhere for a week. you two sang your hearts out, laughing at whatever joke you guys made, or every time one of your voices would crack or sing completely wrong. you thought you enjoyed the ride more than whatever the party had to offer, (which wasn’t much). 

you could hear the music booming once you entered the small neighborhood. it played softly as you entered, soon becoming much louder as chaewon parked her car. when you finally exited the car and entered the house, you felt like you could go blind from the rainbow lights moving around as you and chaewon tried to navigate your way through the dancing crowd and to the kitchen where all the drinks are. you enter the kitchen, which happens to be much less crowded than the living room.

“it’s so loud in here, why would you bring me here?” you joke, projecting your voice as she shrugs.

“whatever! but i’m going to go find yeonjun, bye! don’t take drinks from anyone!” she yells much louder than you did, walking away and trying to spot her familiar ‘friend’.

you groan, she said she wasn’t going to leave me here. you decide to get a drink, looking at each bottle to find your favorite one. soon, you turn one to see the words “sparkling apple cider”; you smile, grabbing the drink and pouring it into your own.

“not a drinker?”

you turn to see the infamous jay park next to you again. 

“not really no, someone has to drive home, and i just really like apple cider,” you take a small sip of the carbonated drink, feeling the fizzy feeling in your throat. jay pours himself some apple cider, looking up while drinking it.

“yeah, i enjoy sparkling apple cider a lot too, i don’t really like the taste of any alcoholic drinks too much, i only really take shots, unlike my friends.” he chuckles at his sentence, sneakily placing his hand on your waist, looking slightly down at you. you slightly flinch at the contact, taking another sip of the cider to cover your reddening cheeks.

you hum, acknowledging his sentence, he continues. “you look nice in that skirt, you should wear it more often.” he flashes you a wink, to which you roll your eyes.

“maybe i’ll wear them less then,” you answer, escaping from his grasp; you grab the bottle of apple cider again and pouring more for yourself. he smirks at the scene, leaving you confused.

“what’s so funny about me pouring apple cider?” you defend yourself, giving him a confused look.

“nothing, you just pour it weirdly, honey.” he flashes you a smile, pushing back his hair.

“don’t call me that, and i’m just pouring it? what’s the difference?” you ask, bewildered by what he said.

“i’ll show you, can you pour it for me?” he hands you his cup, gesturing you to give him some.

“is this a trick for me to pour your drink for you?” 

“just do it apple,” he chuckles at your accusation. you place the cup down and pick up the bottle with both hands.

“apple? why that nickname?” you ask, pouring some cider into his plastic cup.

“isn’t it obvious? you love apple cider so much so why can’t it?”

jay notices how you didn’t exactly deny his request for a nickname. apple it is, he thinks as you roll your eyes and place the bottle down, turning to face him. “what is so wrong with how i pour the drink?”

“here let me show you.” he grabs your hand, guiding it with his hands on your own, tilting both items towards each other. letting the bottle spill out into the cup.

“that way, there are fewer bubbles on the top babe,” he continues, taking yet another gulp of his apple cider.

“i-i’ll make sure to wash my hands after this.” you try to make a rude remark back at him without sounding flustered.

he feels giggly at your flustered state. wait, what is wrong with him?  he softly lifts your chin to face him, a teasing smile evident on his face.

“why so flustered apple?”

he stares at you, waiting for your answer.

“what?”

“i said,” he maintains eye contact with you, “why-”

“y/n!” you quickly push jay away from you, turning your head to see eunbi, waving at you. you wave back, smiling at her. next to her, was hyun-woo, you noticed he had been trying to keep eye contact with you, which you avoided.

“i love your skirt y/n! where’d you get it?” she checks you out, grabbing whatever clean cup was near to pour herself a drink. you give a knowing look to jay smiling at her.

“i actually have no idea,” you chuckle, “i’m wearing chaewon’s clothes because i had nothing to wear, but i can ask her for you! she might be a little busy with yeonjun though.”

she pats your shoulder, “it’s okay hun! i’ll ask her later, but it was nice talking to you! come on hyun-woo let’s go back to the dance floor.” she grabs his arm walking away. you let out a sigh of relief, forgetting jay was there.

“i told you that skirt looked good on you.” he confidently adds, putting your hair behind your ear.

“it’s different when it comes from the school's heartbreaker, you should know that with your reputation and all.” instead of being offended, he looks at you in a flirty manner.

“and what do you know about my reputation?”

“i know you’re probably toying with me right now like you’ve done with countless of girls, yet somehow you have a bunch of fangirls waiting in line for their chance,” you pick at your skin, watching as the skin turns a dark shade of red.

he’s almost stunned at your reply, sure he did have a pretty bad reputation with girls,  but since when was he that easy to read?

you acknowledge his silence, nodding in acceptance. walking away from the conversation before it could get any worse. he's tempted to follow you before he sees you walking up to chaewon, begging to go home. however, yeonjun and chaewon insist that you two would stay, as the party hasn’t even started yet. you were stubborn as always, walking outside, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, and waiting for chaewon to leave. jay almost thanks yeonjun, for making you stay longer. this way, it would be easier for hyun-woo to spot you two together again. making jay’s job even easier.

he starts thinking of what to say, to maybe change your view of him. so he stands in the doorway, he notices how you shiver in the cold, but you ignore it, putting all your focus on stopping your finger from bleeding more.

jay gracefully takes off his jacket, walks over to you, and places it on your shoulders, you pause the round you were playing, looking at him in annoyance. you take off his jacket, placing it back in his hands.

“i don’t need your jacket, i’m fine.”

jay continues your previous conversation, handing back his jacket and firmly placing his arm around your shoulder, so you wouldn’t take it off.

“what could i do to prove i’m not trying to break your heart?” jay asks, trying his best to look saddened at what you had said earlier.

this time you’re the one left stunned, however, you quickly pick yourself back up, “by leaving me alone,” you answer, continuing the game you had just paused.

he chuckles at your response, leaning towards you, “you know i can’t do that apple.” he flirtatiously replies. you for the nth time that day, roll your eyes at him. you scoot away from him, coming up with a bright idea.

“then can you take me to chaewon’s house then? i am so sick of this party.” jay smirks at your reply. 

“are you sure i’m the one who wants to hook up with you so bad?” he gets up, grabbing his key, “but yeah, i’ll drive you to her house.” 

you smile at him, texting chaewon that somebody offered to take you home and that she’d have fun. Then jay leads you to his car, making some small talk on the way. he opens your door for you, letting you in. “wow, what a gentleman.” you sarcastically say, stepping into the car. he just smiles.

 “just trying to prove that i’m not trying to break your heart.”

in his car, he luckily had a bandage, which you gladly accepted. 

while he was driving, jay almost felt bad he was playing you. i mean you had just broken up with hyun-woo weeks ago, or was it months ago? whatever, it’s not like i care. he thought as he stopped at the red light. he looked over at you, smiling while watching whatever was outside the window. he turned back to the road, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach as he listened to your directions. 

“oh! take a left at the next light.”

he nods, and the lights turn green. his car blends in with the crowd by keeping up with the pace. jay places his right hand on your thigh. he notices how your legs tense at the feeling, slowly relaxing.

jay usually never made the first moves, usually, the girl made the first moves and he played along with it.  he didn’t seem to realize why he was so consistent with you. usually, if the girl left,  or played hard to get, he gave up on her. for the reason that he could always find another girl.  this is to get back at hyun-woo. he thought. but did hyun-woo really deserve this? jay definitely thought he did.

he remembered how distraught he was when hyun-woo was chosen by the coach to be captain of the rugby team. not that he was a bad player or he was a sore loser, but jay thought that hyun-woo was such a stuck-up, which was probably why he was chosen to be captain. the whole team truly believed jay would get the role. he always knew how to pull the team together and get them to play their best. hyun-woo however, always seemed to bring the mood down. after hyun-woo started to continuously mock jay for not getting captain, he knew that his time with that team was over. so he left. even now, a majority of the team still talks to jay, the few who he was close to, told him that hyun-woo was always talking shit about him.

he didn’t care at first. it’s not like it’ll do anything to my reputation. he assured himself, continuing to ignore every time he was told hyun-woo said that stuff. but when sunoo told him hyun-woo felt guilty for breaking your heart and how he only dated you because of a bet. jay knew he had to take the opportunity and seize the girl. he didn’t think this would backfire on him feeling guilt. but here he was, driving you home from a party he desperately wanted to stay at.

you remember suddenly why you were so warm inside and outside the car, you quickly take his jacket off placing it in the middle of your seat.

“you can return it to me on monday, just in case you get cold over the weekend” he sends you a flirty smile, quickly turning back to the road.

“are you sure? i mean it looks pretty expensive, and it seems special since it had your initials on it.” you flip the jacket around, showcasing to him the large letters spelling P.J. 

“yeah, i’m sure.” 

“and if you’re fangirls see me with your jacket, they’ll go crazy and think we’re dating! i don’t want that, so please take it.” you almost beg, holding the jacket near his shoulder.

“why would they think we’re dating?”

“oh, i don’t know. maybe it’s because your initials are on the back of it? and you’re in the rugby team and it says decelis rugby team under it?” you sarcastically answer.

“well i’m not on the team anymore, but also it could stand for peanut butter and jelly for all they know. so who cares?” he chuckles at his own joke, as you look at him in disgust.

you wonder if hyun-woo would care, hopefully, he did. hyun-woo had always been a jealous man. well, he might’ve been faking it for all you know, he was faking it the whole relationship, why would that be different? you quickly pull yourself together, responding to jay’s joke. “very funny. take a right at the light then turn left on the first turn.” you almost forget your job, quickly directing him the right way and placing the jacket on your lap.

he nods, moving through the road until you spot chaewon’s familiar brown house. you point at it, “that’s hers,” you say, as he pulls into the driveway. 

you exit the car and wave goodbye as he drives away. you look at your hand and realize, shit, you’re holding his jacket. you must’ve picked it up when getting out of the car. damn it! now you have to deal with jay, one more time.

004 TEARS

when you had gotten onto chaewon’s bed after washing up, you couldn’t but feel saddened by the deja vu you were experiencing.

every second you were talking to him, you were reminded of hyun-woo.

his flirty words, his smirk, his infamous charming smile, his party boy persona. all lead you back to hyun-woo.

all jay did was remind you of hyun-woo.

you don’t even know when you had fallen so deeply for hyun-woo. maybe it was because he noticed things nobody else did. maybe it was because of his stupid smile. his stupid smile that made you fall in love.

when you got to the party you two were meeting at and he drunkenly admitted to the bet he had made, you knew you should’ve listened to what everyone had said, to what chaewon said. chaewon was always right. and you should’ve known that.

so with tears slowly trickling down your face, you opened his contact. looking through old text messages since you didn’t dare to text him. you ignored the ones where you were arguing since they weren’t the most comforting. but the more you read, the more blurry your eyes got.

deciding it was time for you to go to sleep, you roll over plugging in your phone charger and staring at the ceiling of chaewon’s room.

005 CONFRONTATION

the monday of, you believed the math gods were testing you every day. who decided to make you take calculus and then put jay park in my class? if you could ask your homeroom teacher to change your schedule, you would do it in a heartbeat, if he wasn’t creepy.  but that's beside the point, whatever curse was placed on you, it was working.

you sit down in your usual seat. doing your usual routine as eunbi sits behind you. you turn around, feeling bad she always started the conversations. 

“hi eunbi! did you have fun at the party?” you ask, knowing she probably loved it much more than you.

“yeah i did!” she leans towards you, quieting down  “you know the guy i was with? hyun-woo?” you nod, praying that they didn’t do much together. “i  made out with him.” she giggles at her sentence, as your face falls, quickly changing it to a smile, “congrats girl!” you clap a little bit for her, “i thought you were already dating, to be honest.” you didn’t think that, but it wouldn’t hurt to be nice sometimes.

“i wish, i have such a huge crush on him. what about you? do you have a crush on anyone? i won’t tell anyone i promise!” she pulls out her pinky, you don’t bring yours, as you don’t have a secret to tell. you glance at jay walking in, and eunbi’s eyes follow yours.

“you have a crush on jay park?” she whispers shouts, looking at you in disbelief.

“no!” you quickly exclaim, earning the stares of classmates around you, you apologize, quickly immersing yourself back into the conversation.

“i literally don’t even like him-”

“who don’t you like apple?” of course, jay joins your conversations, moving the seat next to you to sit down. you glare at him, “why are you even here? go sit at your seat.” you signal him to move away, to which he doesn’t listen. “well you have my jacket don’t you,  princess?” eunbi watches the scene in shock as you pull out his jacket from your bag, handing it to him. “don’t call me that, i barely even know you,” you add, zipping up your bag.

“it won’t be like that for long, i'm sure,” he replies, moving the chair back as he sits in his assigned seat. eunbi, still in shock from the scene, hits you on the shoulder.

“what was that y/n?” she covers her mouth with her hand, laying her other hand on your shoulder. you hear the bell ring, meaning your conversation is over, “i’ll tell you later,” you whisper to her, turning to face the front.

when you told eunbi you would be telling her later, you didn’t mean her and chaewon. chaewon was waiting for you outside your class like always, when eunbi asked what happened between you and jay as you passed by the doorway she knew she had to join in.

“wait so jay did what?” chaewon asks, almost disappointed.

“while you were busy dancing your ass off with yeonjun, i was talking to jay in the kitchen and he kept flirting with me so i told him i knew he was playing with me and left. then i went to you and ya know, asked to go home. you declined so i went outside and sat on the sidewalk. he followed me outside and was like what can i do to prove i’m not playing you,” eunbi snickers at your imitation of him, as chaewon nods, letting you keep talking. 

“and i guess he noticed i was cold so he gave me his jacket. anyways, i was like leave me alone and he was like no! so i was like okay can you drive me to your house?” you point to chaewon, so they know whose house it was. “and he did, and i tried to return the jacket and he was like no keep it and i was like no! but i accidentally brought it out of the car so i returned it to him today.” you finally finish, taking a deep breath.

“also chaewon you forgot my coffee today.” 

“y/n, i told you to stay away from him! not ask him to drive you home!” chaewon disappointedly mentions, as you roll your eyes.

“that wouldn't've happened if you drove me home!” you counter, as eunbi watches the scene unfold.

“hey why don’t you give jay a chance? he might’ve changed his ways.” eunbi suggests, shrugging at your little argument.

“eunbi, we’re talking about jay park here. he wouldn't randomly just change his ways because of one girl.” you mention, reminding yourself of hyun-woo.

“you never know! maybe he will!” eunbi argues.

“yeah right, eunbi” you almost scoff.

006 ONE CHANCE

when you finally lie down after getting home, you feel a little vibration coming from your phone. you look at the notification, thinking it was a text from chaewon or eunbi, you open it.

unknown

hi apple, this is jay. are you free this saturday?

read 3:24pm

you

how’d you get my number?

jay

i have my ways 😉

are you free?

you

i am,,, i think, why?

jay

because i want to take you out

you

no

jay

we can go to the drive in, watch the movie yk

you

what movie?

jay

spirited away

you

no

jay

cmon it’s just one date

you

whatever

jay

i’ll pick you up at 7 apple ;)

read 3:32

the fact you knew you were going on that date almost infuriated you. it’s like you were begging for another hyun-woo situation. you didn’t want to say this was different, but something about it was. you had heard that jay doesn’t make first moves, so why was he so keen on you? what was so different about you that he wanted?

you couldn’t think of anything, nothing really made you special from anyone else, and you were fine with that. 

but maybe, you could give jay a chance, just one.

007 THE DATE

the week felt much quicker knowing your date was on saturday, not like that was a good thing. you weren’t sure how you felt about the ‘giving jay a chance’ thing, but if this date goes well, hopefully, you wouldn’t be as opposed to it as you are now.

you looked in the mirror, deciding on your outfit. which took a lot longer than necessary. after about ten minutes, you chose your outfit, sprayed on some perfume, and packed things in your purse. the familiar sound of your phone vibrating filled the room, as you checked your messages, seeing that jay was outside your house. you rushed to the front door, carefully putting on your shoes and locking the door. in your driveway, you spot jay inside his familiar black car. you stepped inside, placing your bag on your lap.

“hi apple,” he smiles at you, backing out of the driveway, “you look nice,” he says, looking through the back window.

“thank you.” you return his smile, picking at the skin on your fingernails. he quickly notices, grabbing your hands and encasing it in his.

your face turns warm, as jay keeps his eyes on the road. “stop picking at your hands, i don’t have enough bandages for you.”

you side-eye him, turning to the window, watching each tree and car as they pass by. “have you watched spirited away before?” you ask, keeping your head facing the window,

he brushes your hand with his thumb, “i have when i was younger, i haven’t watched it for a while though.” he replies, turning the steering wheel to the left.

“i’m so excited to watch it!” you squeal, letting your excitement out. he chuckles, slightly turning down the music he played.

he turns into an open field, with a huge screen at the end of it, he continues to drive forward to find a spot and parks as carefully as he can, to help others park near him too.

he glances at you, then your lips only for a second, and looks back to your eyes. he leans forward as you stay frozen. was he trying to kiss you? right now? you want to move but you can’t. almost like your waist is frozen as you look at him with wide eyes.

he quickly grabs a bag behind your seat, looking in the bag with his infamous smirk. you try to ignore that trick, looking in the bag which is filled with snacks.  you look up at him, asking for permission to take one, he nods, a smirk turning into a smile as you look through the (many) options he brought. noticing he brought your favorite, you take it, open it, and pop one into your mouth. 

“thank you,” you say, taking another one.

he opens his bag, looking at you “you’re welcome, the cashier thought i was buying snacks for a party.”

“well, you didn’t have to buy so many snacks! you would’ve saved money if you had just asked me what i wanted,” you argue, looking at the filled grocery bag.

“well, spending money isn’t a problem when it’s for you.”

“yeah okay,” you turn your head to the window, whatever car had driven in suddenly seeming more interesting than the conversation you guys were having. 

he almost giggles at your fake obliviousness, a toothy smile spreading on his face as he glances at the screen, looking for the countdown.

“the movie starts in under a minute, hope you aren’t looking to your side the whole time.”

“why would i be looking at you?” you scoff, shuffling around to comfortably sit as a yawn comes out of you.

“that’s not what i meant,” he teasingly adds, placing his arm back onto your thigh, leaning towards you.

“okay then what did you-” you quickly get interrupted when the countdown on the screen ends, starting the movie (idk how drive in theaters work). “nevermind,” you give in, leaning your arm on the side of the car as you prop your hand up to keep your head up. around halfway into the movie, your drowsiness slowly takes hold of you putting you to sleep.

008 DROWSINESS

you didn’t think you were that tired once you got there to the drive-in, but something about jay must’ve put you to sleep like a baby because why had you woken up in front of your house, on jay’s shoulder?

“when did we get here?” you mumble, sitting up and stretching your arms.

his eyes soften at your slightly messed up hair, barely being able to keep yourself awake.

“i just parked, you missed the whole movie,” he replies, turning towards you.

“what!” you exclaim, “but i was so excited to watch spirited away!” you complain, a pout forming on your face.

“so excited to watch the movie you fell asleep yeah?”

“shut up, i was tired!” you argue, grabbing your purse and opening the door to leave, “thank you for taking me, i had fun.” you blurt out, a red tint appearing on your face.

“i did too,” he smiles warmly at you, waving goodbye as you close the door and enter your house.

009 JAY’S DILEMMA

jay wasn’t usually one to fall in love he wasn’t one at all. every girlfriend he had, every situationship he had. never even came close to what falling in love was. jay wasn’t one to worry too much about a lot of things. but one thing he did care a lot about was his reputation. if he wasn’t able to make you fall in love with him. then he would be claimed as a homewrecker even if he didn’t even like you. but that’s not the point jay was trying to make.

the point was he could never get you out of his head. whether it would be a math question he was having trouble solving or even some of sunghoon’s arrogant comments, everything reminded him of you. jay never had this problem before. he never really cared about his old relationships, until you came in. messing up jay’s whole heartbreaker persona, with only him knowing.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you on the drive home after dropping you off.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he was laying in bed thinking at ungodly hours.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when you waved at him the monday after your date, which he waved back.

jay still didn’t know what he felt for you when he walked into your shared math class, watching you excitedly talk to eunbi about whatever.

he had embarrassed himself during the period because he was too busy with the thought of dating you, would he like that? would he like you to kiss him on the cheek or maybe on the lips? jay thought his answer was no.

but deep down, he knew it was yes.

but he would never admit that at least not to you.

010 LOVE

by now, jay had taken you on several dates throughout december to january. whether it would be studying, ice cream dates, or even museum dates. whatever date idea there was, he probably had done it. but one date he was saving for the big question, was a walk. late at night, with the moon shining brightly above the both of you, and only you two.

you two had already decided to meet at the closest park to your house. which he said was fine since it was the closest to his. he parked his car in a hidden spot, and walked to the swings, sitting down and rocking his legs slightly.

when he saw you excitedly walking towards him, he smiled.

this time, jay knew what he felt for you.

he didn’t have a simple crush or attraction towards you.

love is what he felt towards you.

love.

this wasn’t supposed to happen, but deep down, he knew all along.

love is what he felt when you walked side by side, talking about whatever came to mind.

love is what he felt when you stopped to take a picture of the moon, as he stopped to secretly take a photo of you.

love is what he felt when he asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you had said yes.

love is what he felt when you cuddled into his arm when you were cold.

love is what he felt when you stopped to tie his shoe.

jay’s night was filled with love. and so was yours. 

jay hoped it would be like that forever.

011 BUS STATION

it had been two months since he asked you out. and since then he was always asking you to go to parties with him. this time, he asked for you to go to jungwon’s birthday party the following saturday (which was tomorrow).

 you hesitate as always, declining to go, opting for a cuddle session in your room.

“apple, please! just for one of my closest friends!” he sulks, as he walks you to the bus stop you share.

he knows you can’t say no to him. which he always uses to his benefit.

“they’ll be some sparkling apple cider there, i know you don’t get to drink that a lot.” he confidently raises his eyebrows, trying to get something out of you.

you look back at him, putting on your pretend thinking face, “hmmm, maybe, i’ll think about it.”

he gives you a quick peck on the lips, to which your hands suddenly become jittery. “fine.” you mumble, looking away. he giggles, wrapping his arm around your waist, keeping you close as you continue to walk towards the bus station.

when you finally got there you quickly ran to the convenience store right next to the stop with jay. buying snacks as quickly as you could before running back out, not wanting to miss the bus.

that was a routine you two always had, and never had you missing the bus. you two proudly ate your snacks as the bus started to move. another routine you two had was jay giving you one of his airpods, to which you accepted listening to the cheesy love songs he enjoyed. 

when you had gotten to your stop you two had both gotten up, hands intertwined as you exited the bus, turning the way to your neighborhood. you had stopped in place when you noticed apple cider by beabadoobee was playing. 

“this doesn’t sound like the kind of songs you listen to. how do you know about beabadoobee?” you ask curiously.

“i don’t,” he answers honestly, before continuing, “i was looking at your playlist and i saw this song. and since it was called apple cider i decided to play it since you know, apple cider is kind of your thing.”

your smile grows, as you look at him with soft eyes, “then i decided to look at the lyrics, and it reminded me of us.” 

if you weren’t blushing before, you were a flaming tomato now, butterflies erupted in your stomach as you try to keep your cool and keep walking, to which he noticed (but he didn’t say anything.)

when you had finally made it yourself you had given him a quick kiss goodbye, as he drove off to his house.

later you decided to facetime him to pick an outfit for you. which he did and stayed on call until hours on end. the call ended when you fell asleep, and jay hung up, letting himself get some sleep too.

012 APPLE CIDER

when you two arrived at the party it seemed much more sweaty than you had expected, the smell of weed and alcohol filled the air as you navigated your way to wish the birthday boy a happy birthday,

jay had finally spotted him in the living room, squeezing your hand and walking towards him.

“happy birthday jungwon!” you exclaim, projecting your voice over the speakers.

jay gives jungwon a side hug wishing him a happy birthday too.

“thank you for coming!” he points to a hallway, “drinks are over there, and jay, do you wanna play beer pong? losers have to take a shot after each round.” he grins at him, as jay looks at you for approval. you nod, as he smiles back at you. jay turns back to jungwon with a smile on his face.

“yeah for sure! uh let me get a drink first with y/n,” he tells jungwon, jungwon nods sending you two off to the kitchen.

when you walk into the kitchen you both grab a cup, you fill yours with sparkling apple cider as always, filling jay’s cup too.

“guess you listened to my pouring advice didn’t you?” he asks as you hand him his drink.

“i listen to all your advice.”

“but that was before we started dating,” he adds, you roll your eyes, handing him his drink and heading back to the living room to watch them play.

 the teams were revealed as jay and jungwon teamed up versus heeseung and sunoo, you weren’t paying attention to any other games.

heeseung and sunoo had lost miserably, taking 5/5 shots. which was definitely too much alcohol for sunoo’s system.

sunoo seemed to be blabbering nonsense, as you and jay tried to bring him up to jungwon’s bedroom, where he could get some rest.

“ya know what jay once saidd,'' his voice came out slurred, as he stumbled after each step he took. jay looks at him confused.

“what did jay say?” you asked amused, hoping you would get some kind of blackmail against him. 

“he saidd that he waz going to make you fall in love with him-” he trips with jay barely catching him.

“so he could get back on hyun-woo,”

“what?” you ask, looking at jay’s face worriedly.

sunoo’s drunk, you assure yourself. not capable of thinking straight at all.

“come on, let’s get you to bed,” jay responds, opening the door to jungwon’s room and laying him down on the bed.

don’t do this to me jay, not again. you worry, exiting the room and letting him fall asleep. jay looks at you anxious about what to say.

silence fills the hallway. you try to analyze his face to see some sort of innocence in his expression.

he didn’t seem to start talking, so you did, “was what sunoo said true? was i just your girlfriend so you could get back at hyun-woo and that stupid grudge you had against him?” your fingers automatically start picking near the nail bed.

he sighs in defeat, “look, yes you were but let me explain-”

“no! you don’t get to explain because you’ve been playing me for two months! two fucking months i could’ve spent with someone who actually loved me.” you argue, as he looks at you with guilt.

“i do love you apple! i swear-”

“if you loved me why didn’t you tell me earlier? I'm sure we would’ve resolved it by now instead of keeping it from me and letting me run along all oblivious to your plan.” you scoff, trying to head back downstairs.

the wound on your finger just seems to grow with each step you take, the red liquid slowly covering the new injury.

“apple please let me explain-”

you face him again, “did you not feel any guilt keeping this from me? every date we went on, every kiss we shared, was that all because of a stupid revenge plan? were you faking it throughout this whole relationship?” your lips quiver, as you prayed and prayed he would say the right thing.

but for some reason, he's frozen. like his world has stopped and so has he. 

he knows he loves you and he knows he wasn’t faking it. so why was he blanking now?

you nod, wiping your tears away, wincing at the soreness of your picked finger as you leave that cursed hallway, heading to the stairwell.

“i don’t even get a goodbye?” was he serious right now?

you turn around, “jay, i was just told you dated me to get back on hyun-woo, do you think you deserve fucking goodbye?” you scoff, “honestly, i don’t even know why i gave you a chance,” and with that, you walked down the stairs, your legs slumping after each step.

you should have known, was all you could think. you should have known at the first party when he was shamelessly flirting with you. you should’ve learned that when you cried because he reminded you of hyun-woo. you should’ve known when he confidently asked you on that date. you should’ve known because chaewon warned you.

you should’ve known because it was all the same.

the flirting, the dates, the guy, and the breakup.

you grab your forgotten drink, throwing it in the trash, as you ask eunbi to drive you home.

eunbi had always been by your side. and you were always by hers. you two got so close that when you told her about hyun-woo, she immediately blocked him, and continued supporting you for which you were ever so grateful. 

eunbi hurriedly rushes you to her car after seeing your messed up mascara, helping you get in.

“what happened?” eunbi asks once you're both settled, handing you tissues from the glove compartment and rubbing your shoulder.

“he dated me because he had a grudge against hyun-woo.” 

“he what?” she exclaims, mouth hanging open.

i know,” you sniffle, trying to wipe away the tears coming down.

“i’m so sorry honey,” she mutters. 

you don’t even want to hear any nicknames again, you don’t want to hear any “sorrys”. all you wanted was to be home.

why was it always you? why did you always have to be played? what was so bad about you that people just needed to break your heart?  maybe jay would know, or hyun-woo.

“isn’t it crazy?” you laugh through your blocked nose, “is what crazy?” eunbi asks.

“this all started because i chose some dumb apple cider as a drink.”

taglist : @bookishcalls @jwonsociety @byhees @trsrina @quokkas-leebit @captivq @felixsunshine28 @lojocas @yeniiverse @starikizs @hanniluvi @misojunghwan

sorry if i missed yours!

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

[defensivelee]

what if six lives! mary had tumblr

yeah what if. that would be crazy lol

0 notes

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

daddy finally fucked off 🥳 pls wish him a good trip. i'm going live in ten

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

does @raccoongirlbush want to join.. the stream always makes more when we pretend to kiss 💛 i PROMISE i'll take you out later with the extra dono money, wear something nice!!!!

🦝 raccoongirlbush Follow

o7

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

anne i swear to lo!!! ok whatever click here to join the stream, i look forward to seeing all of you there~

#streams #i'm just kidding ily anne... #please accept dinner as my humble apology #i'll peg you later <3 #wait how many followers do i have on here again?

2,392 notes

🧡 menhera-prince-unlimited Follow

We're all seeing this, right? The fucking election results? I feel so bad for Rersetia, getting stuck with an Ally governor who does nothing but fear-monger and whine about the Overlifers-- all bark and no bite, that one. Unfortunately, woke little brats who don't know any better will flock to this one and decide it's a great victory instead.

I think I know what the next podcast episode will be about. It's about time we get the Allies to step down-- power doesn't mean competence. There are better people, with horns and tails, nothing but pure devil blood running through their veins, waiting for their chance out there, but when will Altos Diablos realize that?

🦌 allybentincksmain Follow

william please

🧡 menhera-prince-unlimited Follow

hans omg i forgot you followed me here haiiii ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

#hanni tag

372 notes

🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow

just seen the UGLIEST girl omg

🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow

bitches still go out like this.

�� vitamarkedheart Follow

wear green stockings or don't show your legs at all, fucking cow lol

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

on it bossman 🤍💚

🤍 vitamarkedheart Follow

wasn't talking to you. but can you dox that girl for me

#and then stop stalking my blog thank you #i love you princess <3 but get out #you are such a creep

22 notes

🦝 raccoongirlbush Follow

when is @/menhera-prince-unlimited going to come out with the Ally Bentinck sex tapes like we all know what he's hiding

#ally bentinck #religious posts #horny posts

18 notes

🐾 madwoofwoofspiritboy Follow

my girl got me a new collar :3 gonna post a pic later on the alt, horny timezone bitches are gonna have to wait

#m woof woofs

14 notes

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

Please be normal about seeing James Stewart and I together tonight. For the last time, honestly...!

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

Even just allegations of abuse can ruin a person's life, literally fuck off with that. You all think you know everything.

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

you fucking wish it was just allegations lol

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

I thought I blocked you, did you make another account?

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

hehehe <3 you're amazing at changing the subject... it's why he loves you 💚

🌠 lord-marlborough-official Follow

High again? @vitamarkedheart can you come deal with her now?

#sorry about this lol #don't believe them for a second #or her for that matter #marly reblogs

4,946 notes

💌 idolofthedevils Follow

HELLO Everyone I must Tell You NOW!!!!11 That none other than Next Month, Devils Willing,,, I will have a NEW FEATURE (๑>◡<๑) for the Pup Hoods that you all so Adore very very Very very much~ for the first time Everrrr <3 now you shall ALLLL have the option to pay for ☆Custom☆ Pup Hoods up on the site, at the LOW low Low price of an extra Twenty Guilders ♡ ～('▽^人) and nouuu Additional Wait :3 doesn't that sound great n amazing n Everything you ever wanted???? Stop moping around, Get it up, let me see you all Happy now ( ◡‿◡ ) you weird Furries with Fursonas may join in the Celebrations naowwwww~

I love you all Forever and ever ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡ please make me very Happy and very much Richer!!!!! TOO!!!

#business spam #small business #JUST KIDDING FUCKETTES!!!! #you wish you were me #go make monopolies elsewhere ily <3

11,387 notes

🫁 nassauphilia Follow

sometimes I miss the feeling of knowing that at least death is a certainty

🗝️ cross-marked-angel

it can still be one 😘

🫁 nassauphilia Follow

is that supposed to be comforting or a threat??

#and how did u find my vent blog

6 notes

🦌 allybentincksmain Follow

The word of the Western Kingdom today is to have UNPROTECTED SEX 🙏🔥!!! Please enjoy yourselves, suck a lot of dick for good luck 🧡!!

#i love you all <3

6,409 notes

🩸 tail-tangled-of-este Follow

hot take, maybe, but I think they should bring back teaching Messianic in schools. you can't take children to a museum and expect them to be moved at the valiance of the devils when they don't know what the angels wanted.

#i don't remember who taught it to me but i am eternally grateful #maria.txt

65 notes

[giyrut-girlie]

(queer) jews in my phone i need help/love

this is a long ass post im so sorry lmfao, im putting it in under the cut to save you all but also if people have head space pls read <3

on friday night, i found myself the last of the shabbat guests (who weren't staying the night) at the Rabbi's house. i had asked my housemate to pick me up at 10:30, but everyone else left before 10.

the kids and rabbi's wife had gone to bed, so it was me, the Rabbi, and two older frum guys who stay over shabbat most weeks to be closer to shul.

for some context, earlier in the evening one of these guys had asked another dinner guest (a med student who I'm good friends with, she's a year or two younger than me) whether trans issues came up in her study. the two of us youngins made brief "help me" eye contact and she answered saying that yes, they did cover trans issues given that as a doctor she will, at some point or another, treat trans patients. the subject was changed, but the room was a bit tense.

so: 10pm, i'm sitting at the table, a little tipsy from all the wine, just hanging out until my ride comes.

the rabbi says "hey ella, i have a question for you now that everyone else (by which he means the not-so-frum people) is gone." and i Just Knew what he was about to ask.

i won't go into extreme detail about the actual conversation, but to sum it up: I was asked my opinion on trans folk, i said that i am supportive and do in fact believe trans people about their identities and was Shut All The Way Down. if i cited statistics i was told that actually they'd seen the opposite, if i tried to explain a study i was familiar with, i was told that they didn't think that was true. i actually don't know how i stayed calm, bc my mind and body were telling me that i was Unsafe basically the entire time (thanks anxiety disorder really did me a solid there /s).

eventually 10:30 rolled around and i had a get out of jail free to skip the rest of that fuck awful conversation, and my housemate was very nice to listen to my debriefing. while talking to her i came to the realisation that one of the main factors in the disagreement was that the rabbi didn't actually value the wisdom of any cultures/teachings/histories outside of judaism. if I talked about sistergirls of the torres strait, or māhū of hawai'i, that was dismissed essentially as goyische nonsense.

this whole conversation has been a Fucking Downer for my mental health. i actually broke shabbat (beyond my usual one melacha to be in the clear and sneaky housemate taxi service) that night bc my thoughts were racing too much to sleep without putting on some comfort media.

but beyond the mental health stuff (though probably actually very related) i've found myself really struggling with judaism since friday night. having my rabbi, who has been helping me through conversion, and who i have really valued as a teacher, and the only two other frum people in the community be so overtly transphobic all at once has really taken me for a spin. like, my rabbi is a lubavitcher, i knew that he was going to be fairly conservative about some stuff, but he literally told me that he only uses the correct pronouns for one of our community members as a "personal favour", and essentially told me that she was good evidence against trans acceptance bc nothing she could ever do would ever make her not a man (and you better believe this involved a lot of comments about her appearance)

to put the icing on the cake, when i dropped off his kids today (i nanny for them once a week), he handed me a book that upon research is basically the jk rowling talking point bible. he said to me that it was a really good book for me to read and that it might help fight some of the "mob mentality" (interesting term for scientific consensus but okay)

(also i had actually looked up my own citations from the discussion later and found myself to be very much correct in my recitation of statistics, but you better believe i wasn't petty enough to forward them on)

ANYWAY if anyone is still reading i'm fucking bummed and super anxious about interacting with my community, my conversion, finding the balance between really truly wanting to pursue an orthodox lifestyle and also being queer myself etc etc

i live in a really small jewish community and can't really leave until i finish my degree in 2026, so i can't exactly just find a more accepting rabbi or shul.

anyone have any advice, or just some solidarity for feeling shitty in this space? love u jews in my phone xx

[minheeology]

zerobaseone reaction ➵ s/o asking “notice something different about me?”

pairing : zb1 x gn!reader

genre : fluff, crack (?)

warnings : none.

a/n : this is my first zb1 post, as well as my first post in a while!! with that said, i want to apologize if these are a bit out of character for them, as i’m stil analyzing them a bit, so please understand!

jiwoong

he’s honest with you.

“uh, no.. what’s new?”

will try his best to guess if you refuse to tell him.

when he does find out what you changed - if you changed anything at all, he will make it his mission to compliment it every day to make up for missing it before.

zhanghao

“nothing is different about you, y/n.”

he’s so confident about it.

he notices every little thing, so of course he would notice if you changed something!

will just give you the ‘are you done’ look if you try to convince him he’s missing something.

hanbin

“oh, of course! your hair looks amazing today.”

he doesn’t notice anything, but doesn’t want to make you feel bad

panics a little when you tell him that you never changed your hair.

“oh? well it looks good anyway!”

tries to change the subject so that he doesn’t hurt your feelings since he didn’t notice anything different about you.

matthew

“no, but you look amazing!”

his smile will stop you from being upset that he didn’t notice.

will beg you to tell him so he can compliment it!

if you got a new shirt or something, he might consider buying the same one in a different color.

unrelated but i totally see him liking couples items idk why..

taerae

“y/n! you changed something? you didn’t tell me you were changing something!”

lowkey hurt you didn’t tell him you were gonna do something new lol.

notices pretty quickly what it is that you changed.

makes sure to tell you how much he likes it/how good it looks!

huuuugee smile on his face <3

ricky

“how was i supposed to know you changed something?”

lowkey shocked (?)

like how didn’t he notice???

apologizes tbh.

from now on, he keeps a close eye on you so he’ll never miss anything you change.

gyuvin

he looks so confused.

“you changed something?”

“did you really?”

is literally shocked that he didn’t notice something.

but you didn’t change anything??

right?

he won’t allow you to tell him what’s different, opting to try and guess.

he makes a game out of it jvbksnbfckjs.

gunwook

“you know i love you, y/n.”

he, in fact, did not notice anything new.

“well remember when you forgot [something from a long time ago]? this makes us even!”

you forgive him since who can stay mad at gunwook?

if it was a joke, pls don’t tell him

[yakultii]

guys can u tell me what shows I should watch nothing heavy just light and silly but also deep but also not maybe something gay idk .. I watch like literally 2-3 shows/movies a year (if im lucky) bc I don’t have it in me to sit down and watch something (adhd mostly but also lack of interest) but idk I kinda wanna watch something while I wash the dishes and before I go to sleep maybe my brain will chill out then pls shows bc a movie is too much commitment for my brain rn.. I sadly don’t rlly enjoy like fantasy/anything super unrealistic my brain has trouble taking to :( who knows one day I might find the exception BUT previously enjoyed shows include Heartstopper, heartbreak high!!!!! puberty blues, atypical, maid, sex education and I also love and have watched many human documentary type shows too I LOVE documentaries if they are about humans of almost any subject I have interests in religion, social justice, sports, nature/hiking(actually I don’t mind if these are more a singular movie if it sparks my interest) and also like lowkey reality is my guilty pleasure I guess but not like married at first sight or love island etc bc I used to study media and it kind of removes the entertainment factor for me knowing how set up everything is plus hetero BORING lol but like kardashian style (I totally just contradict the whole hetero thing but actually the kardashians are so gay I can explain I swear) LMAO I HAVe a weird combination of taste probably anyways PLS GIVE SUGGESTIONS even if it doesn’t sound of any interest to me I promise I appreciate it regardless and will do my best to let u down gently <3333

[creedslove]

I literally hate deuxmoi with all my heart. They always spread misinformation about celebrities from random people who can easily fake things. Like a while ago a person said to deuxmoi that Pedro was their neighbor and he was living with his girlfriend there cause he was filming something and they said how Pedro was always so rude and called him an as*hole psycho (like bffr) and he always shouted at them for parking near his house. Like what??? What’s the reason for posting things like this when you don’t even know if these are true and putting in the shadow a celebrity, someone like Pedro who has worked his ass off to get where he is after 30 years of acting. Like seriously, what’s the reason? Now this pregnancy rumor and him and Bella not talking to each other??? Wtf is wrong with people cmon now. I personally don’t believe the pregnancy thing either the beef with him and Bella (or whoever the other costar is)

Anon this is gonna be the last ask I reply about gossip about his personal life, just because I don't like this kind of content in my blog, the only reason I replied to that first one it was just TOO bizarre not to

I have no idea where these info come, as deuxmoi states: some of them are real and some are bullshit, just like Hugh Jackman's divorce, if someone had told me he would divorce his wife I would've laughed my ass off but turns out it was true.

These rumors are either true or false, there's no in-between, if they are false that's great if they are true also nothing to be done.

An accidental pregnancy could happen to anyone, regardless of both parts wanting a baby or not, and well, in January I saw some sketchy gossip websites saying Liev Schreiber (my former crush lmao) was going to be a dad again and I just shrugged it off because I was sure he wouldn't have a kid and well, his baby is about two months old now 🥴

The pregnancy thing could honestly fit half of Hollywood, I guess people are projecting too much on it because of the constant speculations of his sexuality; idk if Pedro is queer, honestly, he probably is, my guess is that he is bi so having a girlfriend and going out with men wouldn't be impossible to happen just as accidentally knock someone up

***AGAIN, THIS IS JUST ME AND MY SPECULATION AND I WON'T KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT THIS SO PLS DONT SEND ANY MORE ASKS ABOUT THIS SUBJECT***

idk like, I feel some part of it holds onto this rumor with hope he isn't dating another guy (who's way too ugly for him in my opinion btw lmao) while other people are just so into the idea of him being "gay" they treat it almost as a fetish making up conspiracy theories to prove it obsessively, to the point they can't see him STANDING next to another man they are sure they are together, i mean wtf (yes I'm talking about that ugly bitch from tiktok)

Now, about him and Bella, idk I guess everything is possible, sometimes you get angry with people you love the most and you need a break from them, or sometimes you just drift apart from someone you like when you don't work with them anymore, things just change, your routine changes you know? For example, there's always that one co-worker or classmate whatever you used to like a lot, but once you don't see each other all the time anymore you grow apart, you might still like the person but you aren't on the same vibe anymore so honestly, all these rumors can be true or they cannot be true

and even the neighbor thing could be true because like, everyone is entitled to be angry sometimes and especially at neighbors lmao

what we need to do is to remember that pedro is a human being, apart from being an amazing person he's still got faults like everyone else so yeah, the rumors can be true or not true like I said before, what we really need to think is: does it even matter?

You will be less of a fan if he has a secret girlfriend and got her pregnant or if he has a boyfriend? if he isn't friends with Bella anymore?

Honestly, to me he's is so unproblematic I don't really see why anything around him needs to turn into a fuss, he can date whoever he wants, fight or befriend whoever he wants, it simply doesn't change my life, at the end of the day I still need to bury myself in a job I don't even like to earn enough to survive lmaof that's way more dramatic to me than any of those gossip combined together 🤷🏻‍♀️

And once more: no matter if you besties agree or disagree, please don't send me any more asks about it because I'll not reply to them. Enough with gossip/drama ❤️

[becca-is-not-well]

HI

I'm Becca (as you probably figured out) and my friend said I should make a fanfic Tumblr cuz I wrote some for them.

I'll probably be writing mostly xreader fics, whether platonic or romantic. I will write smut, but preferably nothing too vanilla. I am REALLY exposing myself here. NOTHING NON CON.

This is the only time I'll be fully serious: If I write about heavy subjects (depression, anxiety, SH, etc.), it is simply to let people know they aren't alone and to help them through it. I am not in any way romanticizing it. As someone who has been through all three examples and much more, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I've written things for myself about my comfort characters helping me through shit and it genuinely helped me so much, I would love to do that for someone else.

If you know me in real life... no you don't.

All are platonic OR romantic unless specified otherwise

Who I plan on writing for:

Harry potter:

Golden age

Marauders (especially Sirius my beloved)

Fair warning I HATE Snape his "redemption arc" was BULLSHIT

Good omens:

(Said friend got me hooked)

Aziraphale (platonic)

Crowley (platonic)

Aziraphale & Crowley (ineffable husband's with platonic reader)

Riverdale:

(This is lowkey embarrassing oml)

Sweet Pea

Veronica lodge (love her)

Betty Cooper (PLS RAIL ME)

Jughead Jones (I'm weird. I'm a weirdo.)

Sandman:

My friend got me even more obsessed with this holy heck

Morpheus (my skrunkly baby I love him sm)

Death

Desire (is it getting hot in here??)

Matthew(ONLY PLATONIC WHY WOULD WANT ANYTHING ELSE WITH A LITERAL BIRD THE FUCK)

Lucienne (I need a hug from her)

Hob Gadling

Lab Rats:

(Why is this also embarrassing kskeidhxb)

Chase Davenport (been in love with him for forever)

Adam Davenport

Bree Davenport

The Rookie:

(Is this niche??)

Tim Bradford

Lucy Chen

John Nolan

Supernatural:

Sam Winchester (my baby)

Dean Winchester

Castiel (not my cup of tea but I see it)

Twilight:

Jacob Black

Carlisle Cullen (i love DILFs)

Charlie Swan (again. DILF.)

Jasper Cullen (yes. As in the 👁👄👁 mf)

Emmet Cullen

Rosalie Cullen

Big Time Rush:

(Half of these things feel like a confession)

Logan (LOML)

James

Kendall

Carlos (underrated)

Wizards of Waverly Place

(WHY AM I SO EMBARASSED ABT SO MANY OF THESE)

Justin Russo

Alex russo

Harper Finkle

Teen Wolf

Stiles Stilinski

Scott McCall

Isaac Lahey (UNDERRATED)

Derek Hale

Malia Tate

Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Peeta Mellark

Haymitch Abernathy (I said what I said he's hot fr)

Katniss Everdeen

Gale Hawthorn (not the Canon mf tho he sucks ass)

Other random people:

Billy Russo (punisher)

Caspian (Narnia)

(I fucking love Ben Barnes)

The Darkling (Shadow and Bone)

Alina Starkov (Shadow and Bone)

Spencer Reid (criminal minds) (yes im one of those. Are u surprised?)

Legolas (bAbYy!!) (That's an inside joke)(LOTR/Hobbit)

Clark Kent (smallville)

Mac (MacGyver reboot)

I also like writing poetic type stuff so let me know if u want me to post some of that lol

[kokichis-laugh]

Request Rules~����

Hello everyone! Welcome to Kokichis-laugh, a space where I hope everyone can feel safe and explore their killing game (or au) fantasies freely! I'm Monomod, please be patient with me as I am the only Mastermind running this blog and I would much appreciate it <3

General Rules:

~ Be nice/polite pls. If a rude or threatening request gets sent in I WILL delete it no questions asked. I will block anyone who does not abide by the rules. This is your only warning. It's not that hard to not be a bitch :D ~ I will allow anon to stay on, but because this blog does do nsfw content/requests, it is an 18+ only blog. Don't make me turn off anon for you guys because I'll do it if the need arises. Minors DNI for your safety and comfort and my own. ~ Feel like you should know this already but DNI if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, acephobic, MAP/SOMAP/whatever pedos are calling themselves???, sexist, TERF/SWERF, n*zi/n*zi sympathetic, """super straight""". Literally, just leave. Pack your shit and go. I will take your kneecaps if you don't get the fuck out rn. ~ All of the characters I write for are 18+. If they are not canonically 18+ they are aged up. Will not write any nsfw or romance for a character that is not 18+ or aged up. I just won't do it. ~ Anything nsfw will be under the "Love hotel" tag ~ Even if my requests are closed my inbox will always be open so you can still ask me questions. I will try to answer them as quick as I can. This includes questions about the rules, updates, master list, or the blog itself.

What I will write: ~ Fluff ~ Romantic ~ Platonic ~ Smut/nsfw ~ Suggestive ~ Comfort ~ Angst ~ Mental illnesses. I don't everything there is to know about most mental illnesses but I am willing to put in the effort if someone needs comfort. ~ Dark subjects (SH, s*icide, EA, etc.,) ~ Despair Au & Non-despair AU~ All gender identities are accepted and I will specify what gender the reader is when necessary. My default reader is a fem!S/O just to let you know. ~ As a queer person myself I accept any variation of a queer/lgbtyq+ s/o! ~ BDSM, subspace/domspace asks ~ nsfw and sfw prompts ~ I have a kink list in the pinned message for nsfw requests What I will not write: ~ Pedophilia. just no. ~ Incest ~ Yandere. It makes me uncomfortable but a slightly possessive/ overprotective character is fine. I will not romanticize unhealthy or abusive relationships. ~ DDLG or any variation ~ No bathroom kinks. c*m and bl*od are fine but nothing other than that. ~ If I am uncomfortable I uphold my ability to deny any request. If you are unsure if your request will be accepted you can always message and ask. Blacklist: ~ Hifumi Yamada ~ Teruteru Hanamura ~ Ultimate Imposter ~ Hiyoko Saionji (I consider her too young to age up) ~ Any of the mono-characters (They will be included as psychos only, nothing else)

[m1ckeyb3rry]

FR I also love the way her hair looks in this pic?? Idk what it is she just looks so pretty

OOO 8.5k we love the miraverse inflation LMAO (omg pulling a kaneshiro are we with the flashbacks /j miraverse flashbacks are goated) YES I was gonna ask if you ended up making it some silly goofy random meeting but I think I’ll leave that for when I read it so I can be surprised

LMAOOOO in Mira we trust o7 I’ve fr never seen anyone go as hard as you do when writing about characters I don’t really care about (maybe it’s also a preference thing and how we’re pretty much on the same wavelength) but the way you write is literally what I’ve been looking for for like, ever so yes you have my full faith

LMAOOO “our actual convo” is so funny we have the main track and these side quests (kinda like pursuit lowk) but smh tumblr tweaking out again….Miras fourth (??) shower everyone!! No sweaty allegations here!!!

- Karasu anon

yona is THE princess of all time LMAOO she’s so pretty also i love her hair because we have the exact same hairstyle…like i used to keep it long the way she had it in episode one and then i cut it in march so it’s more like her current manga length but the waves + bangs is literally exactly what i have and it’s not SUPER common in animation so whenever i see her i’m like omg twin 🤩

HAHAHA WHO CARES ABT RIN AND SAE FLASHBACKS WHEN WE HAVE READER AND BAROU FLASHBACKS 🥱 LMAOO tbh i just threw it in there because it felt unnatural just having her stiffly explain how she already knows her houndour JFKFJFKD very lazy of me ik but sometimes sacrifices can be made so we can get to the good part karasu

AWW PLS ILY THAT’S SO SWEET also wait on the subject of igaguri maddie (bllk girl on tik tok) just posted a new video that has me CACKLING omg literally so perfectly timed

PLSSS the main convo is rants and fandom takes and the side quests are just silly filler episodes it’s fr like reader and co risking their lives against team x meanwhile mc trio is like building a spaceship for a bunch of clefairy because they have nothing better to do 😭

[winterrhayle]

ranking folklore bc @deprivedmusicaljunkie told me to😭 dont hate me pls pls pls this is one of my favourite albums ever ever and i actually love all of these songs so much

my tears ricochet - this song is the most perfect thing i have ever heard,,, the angelic intro, the angry / sad bridge, and the part thats like AND WHEN YOU CANT SLEEEP AT NIGHT YOU HEAR MY STOLEN LULLABIIIIIIEEEEES and the way it echos and fades away ahdhsahflkgasilhfghjasd

august - THEEEE summer song. i love the folklore love triangle so much, and the vibe of this song is perfect,,,,,,,,,, august foreverrrr

cardigan - a classic. specially with the dolby atmos stems and how could i not love this song when these god tier lines exist: but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss / i knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs / the smell of smoke would hang around this long / 'cause I knew everything when i was young / i knew I'd curse you for the longest time / chasin' shadows in the grocery line / i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired / and you'd be standin' in my front porch light / and I knew you'd come back to me

mad woman - this song is so criminally underrated,,, its everything the man should have been, its perfect and so deep and reminds me a lot of her in 2016

this is me trying - this song makes me want to dig a hole and sit in it for a very long time. in tears.

invisible string - no notes its the cutest song on the album and its so simple and nice and afagshjfgahlsdgfhsgdf i love love

the lakes - i also want to run away off the grid with my lover but im literally single oh and shout out to the origional version bc its so cool and orchestral

mirrorball - this song is so mecore. u know that one mike wazowski scene??????? thats literally me

hoax - this is the type of sadness i crave. idk why. 

seven - childhood best friends😭 the nostalgia is so strong in this one and i loveeeee how many characters i can pair with this one

exile - i LOVEEE the taylor songs where the feature on the track is the other character in the story (the last time, the alcott etc)

illicit affairs - ive loved this song for a long time but the eras tour really elevated it,, the frustration and the anger and asddsljhuahflsdfg even though i do *****NOT***** condone cheating this song is so good

the 1 - im gonna have to admit that at first i did not like this song but it definetely grew on me,,, its a perfect opener for the album

betty - THIS IS A JAMES HATE ACCOUNT. love the song though🤭 and i loveeeee the links within the folklore triangle and i really like it when taylor goes back to country

peace - ngl i hated this song until literally like 5 months ago,,, but i like it a lot now!!!!!!!! the lyrics are so sad now considering the pipeline from delicate > peace > sweet nothing > lavendar haze > you’re losing me

epiphany - even my lowest ranked song from this album is one of my favourite songs ever, but it just doesnt hit as hard as the others on the album😭 i love the message with the covid nurses,, but i find it odd how she randomly starts singing about the metaphor of soldiers at war? i just wish she stuck to one subject on this one

[maiverie]

both of them gone and HOPEFULLY in the dust 🙏 hopefully i don’t see them at my exams (we do the same subjects 😬😬YIKES)

GIRL PLS I PROMISE U DONT EVEN WORRY IF U DONT READ THEM 🙏🙏 absolutely no pressure !!

YES i’ve got a therapist that is actually to my surprise working ?? i mean i’m still a bit scared to open up to him but that’s bc i don’t like speaking about certain parts of my life 💔💔 and it literally sucks that therapy can be so expensive bc it can defo help or at least imo - i’m so grateful that i could get mine for free bc of where i live !!

AND no no don’t worry everything has changed literally these past couple days and i’m actually with people who support me now !! 😊 BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH MAI,, i promise u don’t understand how much that means to me <33

anyway enough about me do you have any fun plans for any time soon,, would LOVE to hear about it 😻😻

AAAA IM WISHING U GOOD LUCK ON UR EXAMS (WHEN R THEY??) AT LEAST BUT IM GLAD U CUT THEM OUT ‼️‼️ keep ur peace girl 😭

Yess it’s sad how high the barriers to mental health services are :(( and omg i totally understand how u feel!! in my head it would feel easier spilling to beans to a complete stranger but also being vulnerable to someone u don’t even know is?? so ?? weird??? the concept is difficult to wrap my head around so i can only imagine how u feel :(( BUT OMGGG urs is free rhags so good r u kidding IM SO GLAD THATS THE CASE 😭😭❤️🙏 ALSO YAY IM GLAD THINGS R LOOKING UP!! ROOTING FOR U !! LOVE U!!

JAJDJAJA omg nothing rlly new w me tbh!! actually i’m planning a trip to japan and korea at the end of the yr w my bsf so :0 just been working a lot to save up tbh 😭 IM PRAYING W MY entire heart there’s gna be a concert (we’re going for a total of 5 weeks) SO PLS PLS PRAY FOR ME ANDJWJHDSA

otherwise i’ve just been trying to get by 😭😭 IM SO EXCITED ABOUT RHE ENHA CB AS U CAN TELL IT DEFS HELPED ME REVIVE THIS ACC AJDJSKDJS THE TEASERS ARE MAKING ME LIGHTHEADED LNFAOOAOS