#pls don’t make me suffer without anything in return
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If TK is gonna bring Phil back then at least throw the Elite girlies a bone and give creative theming control of Fyter Fest back to Kenny so we can have our night of campy fun gaming nerdiness back 🥺🥺🥺
#and I mean yeah bring back Fyter fest#kenny omega#aew#pls don’t make me suffer without anything in return#or sign Ibushi idk
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Haunted
Azriel x Reader
Words: 3k
Warnings: Descriptions of sexual assault, violence, discussions and flashbacks to SA
A/N: this one is a request sent to me by the lovely @ominisgoldie I hope it is everything you wanted and more, I had the most wonderful time writing it.
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“Come on dear, give us a twirl” her voice crooned
I spun, trying to use my hands to cover my exposed breasts from the prying eyes of the fae gathered here but my efforts were in vain as a tall male approached me, a set of irons in his large hands.
I frantically met the violet eyes of my friend, my one protector in this place and his wild look told me that she was in no mood for games tonight. she was out for blood.
“Please Amarantha, m-my queen I- I don’t know anything” I screamed retreating the few feet I could to escape the male approaching me.
“We’ve been over this dear, this isn’t about you” she sneered from her throne “Loras, you may continue with your assigned task.”
“NO” I screamed “PLEASE”
Loras quickly approached me, shoving a piece of fabric in my mouth. Amarantha hated to hear me screaming the last time she said it spoilt her fun. He made quick work securing me to the wall my arms over my head, so I was unable to fight back.
I took a deep breath, a familiar darkness entering my consciousness that told me Rhys was in my mind “Y/n it’ll be okay, I’m here, I am with you. I promise he will suffer for this.”
“I can’t Rhys, not again” I said back my eyes pleading with his to end my suffering, to kill me or break my mind so I wouldn’t need to face the guilt of what was going to happen.
“You are so strong y/n, she cannot break you, you will make it back to him. I promise”
I closed my eyes, listening to the soft clinking of metal as Loras and another male closed in on me. I could smell his breath, rotten like decay as he leaned in close, his accomplice prying my legs open as he lined himself up with me. I squeezed my eyes tighter hoping that it would lessen the pain if I refused to watch.
“Come on darling, show me those pretty eyes while I take you” Loras said
I jerked awake in bed, the events of my captivity fading from my mind as I tried to regulate my breathing. The same phrases repeating themselves on a loop in my head:
I survived, she was dead, I was safe now, I was home. I survived, she was dead, I was safe now, I was home. I survived, she was dead, I was safe now, I was home. I survived, she was dead, I was safe now, I was home.
As my room settled around me, and my heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm, I knew exactly what I needed, and where I needed to be. I threw on my dressing gown and without a second thought I made my way up the stairs to the rooftop. I pushed the door open quietly, my senses picking up the familiar scent of rain and citrus. He was here, he was always here.
“Fancy some company” I called out alerting him to my presence.
“From you?” Rhys said not bothering to look behind him “Always.”
I made my way to the edge of the roof where he sat perched, his wings relaxed behind him. He patted the space beside him, and I quickly took my seat. He passed me a bottle of dark liquid, no doubt from his personal collection knowing that I needed my senses to be dull at this time of night, especially after the nightmares.
“The same?” Rhys asked finally looking over at me.
“Yep” I answer “you?”
“Mhmm” he agreed.
A few moments of silence passed between us.
“Azriel’s worried you know” Rhysand finally says grabbing the bottle back, before taking a long drink from the deep amber liquid.
“I know” I reply softly looking down at the sparkling city lights below “I just don’t know how to separate him from everything else, in my head I know that he loves me, that he would never hurt me but when he touches me it just instantly takes me back there, back to her games”
“Have you told him anything about under the mountain?”
“I don’t know how to tell him Rhys, I mean how do you even start that conversation ‘hey please promise you still love me even though I was repeatedly unfaithful to you because I was drugged and forced to please various men for Amarantha’s entertainment’ he’ll never look at me the same way and I don’t know if I can take that kind of rejection”
“You’re mates, all you have to do is let him in, let him see. y/n I have known him for centuries and there is nothing you could tell him that would make him love you any less”
“I’ll talk to him soon, I swear I just-” I grabbed the bottle from his hand taking another gulp, the burning sensation numbing my senses “I just need more time”
“I of all people am not rushing you, nor am I saying Az is entitled to know what happened before you’re ready. What I am saying is that of all people he is the most qualified person to help you and it is killing him that he can’t” Rhys said
“Do you think the bond is enough” I asked quietly
“Enough for what” he asked.
“To fix all the broken parts of me” I said, the tears I was holding in freely falling.
“Hey, hey, hey” he said softly, attempting to soothe me “there is nothing broken about you. you are a survivor and I know if you gave Az a chance, he would tell you the same.”
“How can you be sure?” I said wiping my face with my hands “would you be able to forgive me?”
“Would you forgive me?” he asked
“For what?” I asked
“For not doing enough” he admitted solemnly
“You did everything you could given the situation” I took his hand in mine “Rhys you endured for decades as her personal pet to protect everyone back here and you were there for me in every way you could be.”
“If only you could give yourself the same grace you give others”
“I know that he has an idea of what happened, and I’m sure that his imagination might be worse than what actually happened but would confirming his suspicions really help? Or would he look at me like I was a stranger. Could he still love me knowing what h-happened to me?”
“Only one way to find out” he said.
Rhysand winnowed me to Azriels apartment, well rather the street leading to his apartment. After we talked for a while, he told me that I should try to do this but still gave me the option of running away.
I anxiously wrung my hands together as I walked the familiar steps up to what used to be our apartment. The memories came flooding back of all the excitement I felt moving in here with him, accepting the mating bond and all the nights spent whispering our future plans to each other, the fights we had over paint colors and how he broke my favorite bowl. but that was before, and could he still love who I was now? Who I had become to survive that place and its tortures?
Standing here I debated my options then I nervously rapped my knuckles against the door.
What the hell was I doing? I thought suddenly realizing he was probably dead asleep considering it was well past midnight.
As I turned to leave, my resolve disintegrating with the effects of the alcohol, I heard the sound of the lock turning and the door opening. I quickly spun around, coming face to face with a very disheveled looking shadowsinger. My heart swelled in my chest at the sight of him.
“Hi” I croaked, my throat suddenly dry at the thought of sharing everything with my mate
“Sweetheart?” he asked running a hand through his hair “A-are you hurt? Is everything alright?”
“I- I didn’t mean to wake you, and now that I’m here it seems so ridiculous. I- I should go” I spun on my heel, practically running down the stairs that led back to the street.
“Y/n wait!” he called after me, I heard the loud flap of his wings as he flew into the air, landing directly in front of me, halting me in my tracks his arms grasping my shoulders to keep me still, in his panic he didn’t mean to touch me and rationally I knew that, but my body was instantly revolted by his touch and my reaction was out of my control.
“NO!” I screamed “PLEASE NOT AGAIN”
I collapsed into a ball on the sidewalk, retreating from his touch, unable to control the tears that streamed down my face or the fear that pulsed through my veins.
“Please y/n, j-just let me- fuck- just let me help you” he pleaded, his shadows swirling anxiously around us as he fought every instinct driving him to comfort me. “Please come inside, you don’t have to say anything. I just- I just need to know that you’re safe.”
I reluctantly accepted and stood wiping the dirt from my bottom as I made my way back up the steps. He followed behind me, careful not to touch me as we walked into the space. Everything was eerily the same as the day I was forced to leave it.
“Can I get you some tea?” Azriel asked tentatively.
I nodded “I’ll take-
“Black with two sugars and milk?” he said instinctively, cutting me off, his eyes met mine and were frantic like his interruption would send me running back to the townhouse.
“That would be perfect” I said with a reassuring smile that I know didn’t meet my eyes
His back turned to me, his wings tense as he started the kettle and got our usual mugs prepared. It only took a few minutes before he was approaching handing me my favorite cup with my tea exactly how I liked, I set it on the table in front of where I was seated on the sofa and he took the seat opposite me, also placing his mug on the coffee table while it cooled.
“You look- better” he said softly “T-than I last saw you, I mean.”
“I feel better than the last time you saw me” I replied my voice hoarse from screaming earlier
I was worried he would interrogate me immediately about why I was here at this hour of the night, but instead we sat in silence, but somehow it didn’t feel tense. He was waiting to see what pieces of my fractured soul I would offer up eager to take whatever I could give him.
“I know you’re probably wondering why I’m here” I finally said
“This is your place too y/n, whether or not you currently stay here you are always welcome. No excuse needed”
“Az- I- I came here tonight with the intention of telling you some things, about what happened while I was- while I was gone”
“You don’t need tell me y/n, not unless you’re ready” Azriel said softly
“The thing is Az, I want to tell you. I want to tell you more than anything I just- I just don’t know how to get the words out without you hating me, or- or looking at me differently”
“There’s nothing you could have done that would change my opinion of you.”
“Don’t say that” I begged
“It’s true” he said desperately, I managed to meet his gaze, as I stared into those beautiful hazel eyes that had seen all my scars and loved me anyways I strengthened my resolve. He deserved the truth.
“Don’t say that until you’ve seen everything”
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, searching for the bond. It had been so long since I felt the effects of the mating bond, the glowing rope that connected our very souls. As I searched my mind for the familiar pathway back to him a pit formed in my stomach, I was nervous to tell him, nervous for his reaction. But regardless of the outcome this was a step towards healing, for me. I found the string in my mind, deconstructing the mental barriers that had shielded Azriel from our connection and with a thought, I tore it down.
Azriel gasped suddenly, breaking the silence between us.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that I- I can feel you again” he said softly grasping at his chest where his heart is, I felt a rush of emotion, it was comforting and familiar, like coming home after a long time away.
“I can feel you too” I whispered tears glistening in my eyes.
“I don’t think I can tell you what happened” I said softly “b-but I can show you.”
“I just want you to know that you don’t have to y/n” Az said “you being alive, being here…it’s enough- it’s enough for me”
“I know Az- but I want to. I need to. I need you to know what I went through and why it’s going to take a long time for me to be okay again”
“okay” he agreed “If you’re ready.”
I took a deep breath, unlocking the mental door that kept all my memories from Under the Mountain at bay, and I imagined myself walking through it taking him along with me. I held his hand as I showed him the early years of torture. The starvation, the beatings, the general cruelty that came with Amarantha’s abuse, but as we walked further into the recesses of my memory the images became darker. The first time she drugged me and forced me to dance naked on every male under the mountain, how she would let her favorites have their way with me whenever they pleased. How she would force Rhys to watch knowing that I was a friend of his from the outside word.
I felt him tense through the bond, rage and despair flowing through the bond as he watched the last assault, the one that gave me nightmares, the one that left me injured and unable to speak for weeks.
I brought us back to reality, and noticed the way he wiped the tears from his eyes, trying to hide the effect my memories had on him, but it was like a dam breaking and before I knew it his head was between his knees as his body was wracked with sobs, his shoulders and wings shaking with the force of his grief.
I slowly inched over to where he sat, until our knees were almost touching. almost.
“Az-” I said softly, my hand bringing his chin to my level.
“I shouldn’t be the one breaking down here, I should- I should be comforting you but how can I? How can I help you? C-can I touch you?” he begged “Please- I-I just want to hold you”
I shook my head “Az- I know in my head that it’s you, and that you would never hurt me but somewhere along the way the signals get twisted and I’m back there, with her…with them and I just can’t figure out how to stop it.” I met his tortured gaze “All I want is for you to hold me and tell me it’s going to be alright but-” I choked back a sob “I don’t think it is”
“Hey- hey- listen to me y/n” Azriel said getting to his knees on the floor in front of me, but still maintaining enough distance that we didn’t touch. “You are my mate, my love, my life, my very reason for existing. If you need time, I’ll give you an eternity so long as through it all I can stand by your side. I could go the rest of my life not touching you so long as your heart is beating. I waited a thousand years to know you, and if I must spend another thousand getting to know who you now; then so be it. Time is nothing to me, it means nothing to me…you mean everything to me and I will spend the rest of my life making sure that you know that.”
I couldn’t stop the tears that flowed down my face at his confession. I had been so sure that he would be revolted, that he would want nothing more to do with me, that I was tainted but I was wrong.
“So, you still love me” I managed to choke out meeting his hazel eyes, emotion swimming in them.
“Until the stars are a whisper of dust in the sky, Until the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, until the oceans run dry and ramiel is carried away like a leaf in the wind. There is no part of you that I do not see that I do not love; that I would not worship if you let me.”
I flung my arms around him, needing to feel the steady beat of his heart to know that this was real. That I was safe. He didn’t dare move a muscle; his body frozen as I clung to him desperately. “You can hold me,” I said softly, without a second thought his arms wrapped around me finding their place as I sunk into his lap. He brought his hand to cup the back of my head and simply held me while I cried, while I released the tidal wave of emotions I didn’t realize I was holding in. he pressed a delicate kiss to my temple while he sent feelings of love and reassurance down the bond.
And finally, after five decades I was home.
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#acotar series#acotar fanfiction#acotar fanfic#azriel x reader#azriel x y/n#rhysand x reader#request
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all i wanted (was you) || a firstprince fic
summary: It’s been nearly a decade since exes Henry and Alex have last seen or heard from each other. After one unexpected night of reuniting thanks to the meddling of their mutual friend, the pair find that neither time nor circumstance can stop their flame from rekindling. With the complications of Henry’s marriage to another man and his scheduled return to London looming, the two must navigate life’s difficulties as they grapple with what a possible future could mean for them.
chapter 4/9 || rated e || read on ao3 || listen to the playlist
Alex stares at his phone as if he can somehow will the device to flash with Henry’s name across the screen. He hasn’t heard a word from him since last night. He knows all too well how avoidant Henry can become when he feels too overwhelmed by life. As it stands now, Henry has essentially blown up his whole world.
Alex tried to give Henry grace, allowing the morning and the early afternoon to go by. But Alex’s own insecurities have now begun to bubble up and take shape. He gives Henry two calls that go unanswered. It’s not surprising, but it stings nonetheless.
He avoids his own bedroom all day. The memories are far too fresh. He feels as if he’s in limbo, suspended in some strange space where time and reality are meaningless. Without hearing from Henry, without knowing where they stand, he feels unmoored.
He tries to contact Henry again, firing off an embarrassing series of texts but he figures if he’s speaking into the void anyway, what difference does it make?
Alex are you ghosting me?
Alex so…we’re just gonna never talk again? we did that for 8 yrs remember? it sucked. would rather not go back to that if it’s all the same to you, thanks
Alex im staying home this evening, just in case you change your mind and wanna come by or whatever
Alex fuck, alright this is officially pathetic on my part so i’ll stop texting. just know i'm here if you want to talk
Alex i *really* hope you wanna at least talk. don't go dark on me yet. pls? talk to me first. you pinky promised that it wouldn’t be like the last time. is nothing sacred anymore? but seriously, hen, i want us to at least be okay. pls let me know if we’re alright
An hour later, there’s a knock at the door and Alex’s heart leaps to his throat. Two visits in as many days should be exciting, but Alex has no real clue what awaits him so he anticipates the worst.
He gets up and crosses the living room to answer the door, taking a second to brace himself.
He opens the door to find Henry on the other side, his eyes distant and red rimmed. This is the reaction Alex has been dreading most. He already knows where this is going to go.
He steps back, letting Henry in without either of them greeting each other. Alex suddenly feels itchy, dirty even. He takes a seat on the couch, hugging his knees to his chest.
“You regret last night,” Alex says, not as a question.
Henry runs a hand through his hair as he sits on the opposite end of the couch. He looks exhausted.
“No, I don’t. And that’s the problem.”
Alex perks up in spite of himself.
“But you didn’t do—“
“Anything wrong?” Henry concludes incredulously with a humorless laugh. He shakes his head and looks away, blinking twice as he takes a breath.
His shoulders are raised and Alex wants nothing more than to ease the tension out of him, to free him of the burden or at least carry some of the weight so Henry doesn’t have to suffer it alone.
Tentatively he shifts closer to sit beside Henry, keeping a respectable distance but settling close enough.
“We kissed. We had sex. That makes me a liar and a cheater. And worse yet, I’ve made you an accomplice in all of this and for what? My own selfishness and greed?”
“You can’t help how you feel.”
“That’s no excuse. I should be able to manage some shred of self-control, some modicum of restraint. I’m not a child who doesn’t know better. I’m a man who saw what he wanted and simply couldn’t have cared less about the consequences. And that? That makes me a monster.”
“Stop it. Don’t talk about yourself like that. I can’t stand it.”
Alex fiddles with his hands, his breathing heavy.
“If anything, I’m the monster here. I see what it’s doing to you and yet I can’t stop. I don’t want to.”
Henry’s eyes find his.
“This can’t be what you truly want.”
Alex bites his bottom lip.
“I just want you. In whatever way I can have you. The how doesn’t matter nearly as much as it probably should.”
Henry buries his face in his hands and he looks to Alex like Atlas carrying the weight of the world.
“Bloody hell, what are we doing? This is all so messed up. I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so unbelievably sorry.”
Alex’s face falls. He reaches out to touch him.
“Baby, don’t be. It’s okay.”
Henry’s jerks away and gets on his feet.
“It’s anything but okay. Don’t excuse me. My God, Alex. You should hate me, loathe me for what I’m putting you through.”
“Well, I don’t and I never have. So now what?” Alex challenges. “You’re always going to be it for me. I will never stop wanting you.”
Henry looks at him incredulously.
“How can you even say that? You’ve given me too much power here.”
“I love you. That’s all there is to it.”
Henry blinks back tears and shakes his head, taking another step backwards.
“I should go.”
The words are like a freight train through Alex’s heart, especially after his admission.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks, his voice suddenly small in his own ears.
Henry’s face softens at once.
“No,” Henry says gently. “Darling, no, you haven’t. I’m at fault here. I’ve made an absolute mess of everything. I’m hurting everyone and I just—,” he stops short, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before lowering his hand.
“I don’t want to put you in this position. It isn’t fair. I am… clearly going through something right now and I will not drag you down further with me while I try to figure it out. You deserve so much better than this. You’re a good man. A good and truly decent person and I–.”
Henry swallows hard, his eyes welling with tears again.
“I do hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me for what I’ve done. I know I won’t ever deserve it after what I’ve put you through— not only once but twice. I can’t keep breaking your heart. I won’t.”
Fear seeps into every cell of Alex’s body.
“Stay. Please, Henry. Just stay the night.”
Henry frowns, looking deeply apologetic.
“I don’t think that’d be wise.”
“I promise nothing will happen. You are not okay right now. I don’t want you to be alone.”
The other truth is that Alex doesn’t want to be by himself and Henry has been wandering dangerously close to a permanent goodbye.
Alex gets up and drifts towards him slowly.
“Stay. It’s okay.”
Henry looks so lost, it shatters Alex’s heart. He keeps coming toward Henry until he’s near enough that he can drape his arms over Henry’s shoulders. He pulls Henry in for a hug, his fingers combing through his golden blond hair.
He feels Henry sag against him, his body relaxing more the longer Alex coddles him. Alex leaves a barely-there kiss at Henry’s temple before he gently guides him to his bedroom.
It’s such a stark contrast to the day before. Where they’d been frenzied and hungry for each other yesterday, there’s a somber seriousness here today that makes Alex feel like crawling out of his skin to be free of it.
They both get into bed, Henry settling on one side, staying on his back. His voice is solemn as he speaks.
“Nothing can happen tonight.”
“I know. I promise,” Alex says quietly. “Can I at least hold you?”
It feels like such a gamble to even ask, but if Alex can just have Henry in his arms, maybe it’ll reassure him that Henry won’t just up and disappear.
Henry turns his head slightly enough to look at Alex’s face as he nods.
“Yeah. That’d be alright.”
Henry turns on his side and Alex doesn’t hesitate. He wraps an arm around Henry and comes in closer, letting his chest press squarely against Henry’s back, his chin resting on the man’s shoulder. Henry breathes out softly through his nose and Alex can picture the contented look on his face. It no doubt matches the one on Alex’s as their bodies relax, their breathing falling into sync.
In all honesty, this moment now feels even more intimate than last night.
He burrows his face into the side of Henry’s neck, feeling Henry’s pulse quicken. Alex fights off the urge to kiss him in the spot behind his ear but it’s a near thing.
Instead he simply closes his eyes and softly breathes Henry in, holding on tight until sleep finds them both.
#rwrb fic#red white and royal blue#henry fox mountchristen windsor#alex claremont diaz#firstprince#userthai#tuserpaige#tusersonia#usernicholas#usersteen#iuserzoe#userange#usermimsi#uservalentina#tusersilence#userjamiec#kimmy writes
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I need more brit bros in my life 🥺 pls, i am starving, i might succumb to the darkness and never return 😭
I will do anything for more brit bros please, i am down on my knees 🧎🏼♀️
~Izzy
Izzy, please don't starve, I know times are hard but I have a crumb for you 🙏 And longer things will come later, I promise
And Anon, I hope this fills your void too!
Characters: England, Northern Ireland
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‘Why.’
‘You know why.’
‘What’s a shit answer.’
‘It’s a terrible question.’
‘Why.’
‘You know why, Sean.’ England clicked his tongue and sat up straighter in his seat. ‘You’re not seventeen.’
‘You’re right, I’m over a hundred.’
‘You don’t look seventeen.’
‘Oh come on, Art.’
‘Come on, Art? Come on, Ar- for fuck sake, “come on Art” what? You want me to change the law for you? Hmm? Somehow grant you special exemptions from what everyone else has to follow?’
‘Patrick would let me.’
England gave a sharp dark laugh, ‘On my roads? Sure. On his? You can fuck right off.’
‘Please.’
‘No.’ England said sharply, ‘You can drive on private land. You can go on youth courses. You can even go in an illegal Banger Race and burn out your needs there if that hell so suits you-‘
‘You’d never let me go in a Banger Race-‘
‘-but you are not getting a special driving licence. Not till you’re physically seventeen like everyone else.’
North groaned and dropped his head back against the headrest, ‘But I know how to drive.’
‘That tree you reversed into earlier says otherwise.’
‘It was a stump! I didn’t see it, it was too low down.’
‘So is a toddler.’
‘And toddlers won’t be running about the back of the car, will they!’
‘Look,’ England unclipped his seatbelt and turned to face North better, ‘Despite what you may think, I’m not being a hard arse. I’m not telling you no just to be cruel, or because I have a twisted sense of joy in your suffering-‘
North snorted.
‘-because woe betide you poor soul, with all of the perfectly good public transport available to you-‘
‘That’s not the point.’
‘I know it’s not the point.’ England put a hand on North’s shoulder, ‘The point is, you look too young. If you hit anything-‘ he gave North a warning look when he tried to interrupt, ‘-if you hit anything, or cause any sort of accident at all, then it’s going to be a legal and political nightmare. Doesn’t matter how old you are, or how well you can drive, it can’t be explained if anything goes wrong.’
‘It’s not fair.’ North said quietly. He ran his seatbelt between his thumb and forefinger. England’s old jeep hummed softly in the silence, the engine keeping the windows from misting up in the frigid January air.
‘I know it’s not.’
North wondered if England knew that he was talking about more than just the car, or being able to go out and drive one on the roads. It was the attached shackle of being trapped in a body that didn’t age, restricted by rules and milestones that he wouldn't be able to reach for an undefined time. Life unchanging and stunted by it. It was different from just being treated like the age of the face he wore, it was North being pinned in place by its rules.
His brothers had been physically far younger for far longer- North knew that without being told- but he was sure that they hadn't chafed against society as much as he did. Hadn’t been told no to everyday skills based on age alone. If they could physically do something, they did. Their bodies’ age hadn’t held them back from riding horses or sailing across oceans to die in wars they didn’t ask for, or that they did.
North couldn’t even drive to Tescos.
‘Come on.’ Evidently, the silence had stretched on too long for his brother to be comfortable. England squeezed North’s shoulder and clipped himself back in, ‘Let’s see how far we can get on what petrol we’ve got left.’
‘You mean until you get panicky when we get to half a tank and make us turn around.’ North pressed the clutch down and pushed the gearstick with some force into first. ‘You need to oil this.’
‘You’ve said. Three times.’
‘Well, it’s still stiff as shit, like.’
‘How on earth do you expect me to do anything about it now?’
‘Matt’s probably left some WD-40 in here somewhere.’
England chuckled, sounding fond, ‘Probably.’
Taking off the handbrake and releasing the clutch, North rolled the old jeep back onto the tiny road that ran through England’s rural estate.
As they drove, England began talking about something or other that was happening in London and North let his mind wander; the familiar tree lined roads and the early morning haze softening the sun making him feel lighter the further they drove. He was grateful that England hadn’t tried to push the issue, or convince him of anything. A change in the last twenty years that North was thankful for.
‘How about a pub lunch?’ England said after a time, ‘We’ll switch when we get near the B road and I’ll drive us to The White Hart.’
‘Will you let me get a pint this time?’
England pressed his lips together, ‘Only if you don’t tell Rhys.’
#aph england#hws england#hws northern ireland#aph northern ireland#aph brit bros#aph uk bros#hws british isles#arthur kirkland#hetalia#aph#hws#hetalia fanfiction#heroes writes#izzy anon
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5. The massive Overse fic l'm writing that is about the whole Adam Cole's chronological career
i would like to know your favourite moments from this fic pls? written or planned plsplspls
.... where to begin, I actually wrote 30k of this fic and it's rotting in my Google doc, but it's literally my child haha...
My favorite part is probably the last thing I wrote, and I'm just gonna drop it here because why not ...
TW: mpreg, mention of abortion, poverty, implied SA
Pre Roddy/Adam, established Kyle/Adam
“Why?” It was the first thing Roddy asked him right after he sat on his old and rusty couch to confess he was having Kyle’s child, not even thinking for a second how that would make Roddy feel, didn’t even consider for one second that the other omega is returning the feeling he has for him, not that it mattered in the slightest to Roddy, who always been protective of him first, unselfish in loving him.
“Well, I always wanted this, to have a child with a decent man, to have a loving family, and Kyle is more than decent, he is perfect, he takes care of me, he knows and understands me, he was the one to save me, to help me when I needed it the most, that means he loves me, right? He said so himself and has proved it time and time again.”
“What is even love to you?” was the second question, and his answer was wrong again.
“Well, I can’t really describe it, but he knows every little thing without me saying it, he knows when I’m hurt and why, he is willing to help the way I want to be helped, he holds me, kisses me like I matter, like I’m special, I think,” he got emotional, thinking about the void in his own life, the void that surly Kyle would not leave behind for their child. “I think he will be a great father.”
“What about you? Would you make a great parent?” was the last question, the one that made his voice shake in hesitation.
‘’I think so, I will try my best, do you think I won't?” asking for approval where he lacked confidence, trusting that Roddy, with his own complicated background, would kindly reassure him.
“Adam, sorry if this sounds too harsh and sudden, we haven’t been friends for long, I’ve known you for quite sometimes as a teacher and,” Roddy didn’t have a problem with staring at his eyes as he said; “You are too young and too, for lack of a better term, stupid to know what’s best for a kid.”
“What?”
“Man, all I’m saying is, I think Kyle is the more sensible man between the two of you, I even trust his unbiased judgment more than my own. You’re right, he is the perfect one for you, but are you perfect for him? Maybe there’s a reason this perfect father doesn’t want to have a kid with you.”
If Roddy slapped him around the ring for hours, he would have felt less defeated than after what was said, at least he was used to take a beating, but never someone in his looked at him as a failure like Roddy was, staring down at him with folded arms, really for him to trip all over himself and fall face from the nearest cliff.
“But, I’m willing to try for them, I would do anything, you are just jealous, that’s what this is about? you much hate the fact that a prime omega like me is carrying but a late bloomer like you never had his pussy touched by someone.” he lashed out, like always, that’s all he knew, that’s all he would know for a long time.
“That’s the last thing I want by the way, I don’t want to bring a human in to this world, knowing they got to suffer if I don’t know and can’t handle myself in the first place, that’s what I’m saying Adam, you don’t know yourself, you can’t handle yourself, why do you think you can do those for someone else, someone helpless as a child? don’t you think that’s selfish?” Roddy’s voice got louder, not using the same laid back tone, and became a scolding teacher, reminding him how awful he was, how dumb and untalented, how careless.
“I’m not going to be alone in this, you will help me right? Kyle said he would support me if I keep it.” Roddy defeated him long before he argued back with the first question he asked, ‘why’
“If you can’t do it alone, which right now you did admit that you can’t, don’t do it at all, don’t do it to them, or yourself, you love Kyle right, you trust him so much, listen to him, do what’s best for the two of you.”
“No, I can’t go through that all over again, Roddy, you don’t know what happened to me and how many times, you don’t know.” he was getting desperate, once again the horror of getting his new limb getting ripped away from his without his say was hunting him down, pinning him to the ground and making breathing hard and his vision blurry. “You don’t know how many times I had to go through it.” he hid behind his hands and hair, wishing that between all those sobs, Roddy did understand him.
“I don't give you a reason to turn into a shitty parent, no matter how much trauma you went through.”
“You don’t know that!” He screamed, so loud that a coughing fit followed it, “You don’t know that.” this time a scratchy whisper as he looked up, waiting for Roddy to submit to his tears. “You don’t know, you always assume the worst.”
“And I’m always right about you, remember the accident at the bar?” When he lunged with the glass of water in his hand, Roddy dodged and disarmed him easily, not even touching him anywhere near his stomach as the glass shattered all over the floor, he went boneless, exhausted from crying and being helped felt good. “You were going to hurt yourself, fuck.”
“I was not,” he whimpered as he was let down on the bed not too far away from the couch, next to the window. “I want to go, you clearly want to kill my child.”
“Stop saying just whatever as long as it serves you, we are not filming a segment, goddamnit.” Roddy held him close as awkwardly as he halfheartedly tried to get up from the bed, still playing this losing hand. “I’m trying to look out for you, will you listen for a second?”
“I always listen to you.”
“I know you want to be good, I believe in you, but there's so much you can do when you are this young,” Roddy brushed away the hair sticking to his forehead, he hadn't realized how sweaty he had gotten. “I know someone, who were in a very similar situation as you, in the entertainment business, he had a wife and they decided to keep the baby, but being a wannabe rockstar doesn't go with the responsibilities that raising a child demands, not when both of them couldn't get enough of their lifestyle, they partied big but always ended up in smaller houses, till the house became a trailer park, that left this guy, who is an O by the way, forcing himself to do more than just singing and dancing as a cosplayer, you know what I mean right?”
Adam puffy eyes opened, fear in them seen crystal clear, Roddy didn't mean stare the younger down but they both stopped breathing until Adam looked somewhere else in defeat. “I know what you mean.” Voice rough from screaming before, cracking in places.
“They eventually realized that with the baby came responsibility, they realized they only ever knew each other one way, in one environment, and it wasn't just a crutch it was the goddamn cornerstone. Until they realized that in the absence of that cornerstone they had completely separate goals and things they wanted to live for--but by then it was too late. They had to live with the responsibility. That burden. Together." Roddy continued, spitting words after words with his voice shaking, when did he become so numb that he scratched his scars without even flinching?
“What happened to the kid?” Adam asked and Roddy smiled, eyes brimmed with tears as he breathed out feeling the pressure on his heart was somehow lighter, Adam could become a great parent one day, same with Kyle but not then not there.
“Oh. Well, their kid ended up a late bloomer who'll never have his pussy touched, so.”
They cried and laughed that day as they embraced each other tightly. That was the last time Roddy saw the fear in those eyes, the last time they shone with innocence, what happened next week hardened Adam's will more than ever, and grew him the iron-spine.
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Watched oshi no ko and hells paradise both mid. Kinda makes me mad bc hells paradise was giving soul eater a little bit plus the op is catchy as fuck but I’m a little annoyed like I just don’t think I have it in me to tolerate mid female characters anymore. I really wanted to like it too bc the first ep was really good but then the second was like umm ok this dude is a bit much but he’s cool still. Then the third ep I was like “so why tf is the girl even travelling with him if everyone knows he could easily overpower her at any time”. And the forth ep gabimaru had to save her and she collapsed bc she got overwhelmed ? Like it’s so embarrassing for her I can’t go on. I realize her arc is about facing her fears or something actually no I don’t really know what the author was going for but anyway my point is theres a way to do that without making her a cringe damsel in distress. Maybe I’m just jumping to conclusions bc it really does look good but like it’s not a great look so far
as for oshi no ko I was hoping it would be about like balancing motherhood and being a star or something obviously I expected too much. I actually kinda enjoyed the movie pilot but I dislike that:
1 it’s isekai
2 the mom fucking dies and the kid/guy is on some revenge fantasy bs. Like I said I thought this would be some cute show where a guy doctor falls in love with a pregnant woman who’s actually an idol hiding her identity and the issues that would arise from that. (Btw I did not know she was 16 going into this show. Another thing I dislike)
3 I feel like the isekai part is just accepted and will never come up again. Like idk bc I wouldn’t mind if it was actually incorporated into the story as like the main thing but it’s not really. like I want sarina/rubys backstory to be more important, the connnection between her wanting to be an idol and her not being able to move around in her previous life could be expanded on, idk anything abt the guys goals from before but I would like to see that instead
4 I hate the Mc he’s fucking BORINGGGGG and he’s obsessed w his sister and mom. (Side note When are we gonna get an anime where the Mc just despises his sister like there’s no other feeling other than hate.) What happened to the fun guy who used to be a doctor. Like trauma obvs but his whole personality became unbearable. you could say that he was obsessed with Ai even when he was alive but honestly, bro had a job and lived in the countryside, there is no way he didn’t have other things going on in his life
5 both these kids have no personality other than being obsessed with their mom like SHUT UP PLS
6 it’s literally just a girl in the mcs life suffers due to being an idol and he jumps in to save her by doing something maybe a little innovative and weird but ultimately good. Like I kept watching bc I wanted to see how him trying new things could expand his perspective or something like trying acting again or being on the dating show but no it’s just him saving chicks from other ppl
7 I feel like all of those points just show the plot is trying to be more than what it is. Like it’s just another isekai where an older guy takes care of underage women in return for their dedication. Ok to be fair it actually does have a lot of the inside life of idol culture which is interesting but also don’t advertise it like ai is a main character when she FUCKING DIES :(
I actually kinda dislike gabimaru too like both these mfs are gloomy, overly perfect, emo, and have saviour complexes and it’s rly not my vibe. Like idk they’re Gary stus. Ebony darkness dementia raven way but as a guy. Like please just suck at something you’re boring me
I think that’s what I get for trying to watch Shonen but ugh. I like action I like the power of friendship I even like a lil romance if it’s not like annoying and very specifically aimed toward the male gaze.
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so mc running away i love it the angst 👌 so if its alright can you the same but with the dorm leaders?(pls do a good ending my poor heart cannot take it-༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)
Dorm Leaders + MC Running Away
So I apologise for the lack of happy endings, if you want to call it that. The scenarios turned out much more different than the First Years probably because of the power gap I had in mind. Also, for anyone wondering, the Vice Dorm Leaders will have a shot of saving you next! When I get to it... Cut for length. Also please help to share because I limited the tags!
Warnings: Character Death [Not you or the main boy], mentions of abuse and emotional manipulation [On the Reader] and violent actions [The Dorm Leaders]
"I'm not going back."
"Wh... What?" He was astonished. "YN... I've looked far and wide for you- please-"
No words left his mouth as you stepped away from him, tears in your eyes and you were going to make a run for it again.
Malleus Draconia
Your words struck a chord in him. He didn't mean it, but when you said that you weren't going back, he almost lost control. What did you mean you weren't going back? You promised him to be his Queen!
No... he's not accepting this. His Queen deserved better. His larger hands encircled your wrists, stopping you in your tracks. No matter how much you tugged and pushed, Malleus' strength was beyond you. In your sole despair, you fell in his embrace.
Every ache and injury struck your core, as you cried your heart out. "I can't go back Malleus," you whimpered. "I... I'm sorry."
Your hands gripped tighter onto his clothes. "I don't mean to fight against you, I-"
The Fae Prince sealed your bruised lips with his own, pulling your smaller form into his lap as he took in the moment of the bittersweet, longing kiss. "YN... listen to me," He said, his own ice cold tears falling onto your cheek, healing your wounds. "You never have to apologise for your suffering. Not even to me."
Malleus held you close as you drowsed off. The gentle smile hardened into a growl, as his back arched, black wings bursting out of his body. Malleus, in his dragon form, summoned the thorns to protect you, holding you as if you were his personal dragon hoard…
The principal, or more accurately the culprit, Dire Crowley was a fool to step out. It disgusted Malleus to his very core, his claws setting the very ground on fire as Crowley stepped closer. No words were exchanged between them. For all the suffering you faced, it was to be paid in tenfold as the dragon took a deep breath, releasing the fire in his chest.
"It was a fraction of her suffering…"
Riddle Rosehearts
He was ballistic. Riddle had been eager to bring you back immediately, but the sheer refusal and attempt to run away made him think that you hate him. He was blaming himself, sobbing to the ground.
Riddle's breakdown made you stop. No matter what you did, you still love him. Riddle's hiccups of sobbing paused at the feeling of your arms wrap around him. He wanted this, he wanted your warmth, he wanted- no… he needed you so badly he'd ceased to function without you.
"I don't hate you Riddle," You said, kissing his tears away. Your pretty Queen of Hearts had ruined the uniform he so proudly kept up with and Riddle himself was unkempt. Riddle cradled your sore body, letting you tell him your stresses and your breaking point abused over and over again by Crowley.
Riddle's heart softened ever so much for you, as he realised that he was to a fault as well. It was then he started to cry for you. "YN… I… I lost control. I know I can't be forgiven for the stress you went through so-"
"Rosehearts! You found her, how wonderful!" The jovial Principal cried out. In his hand was a magic tracking spell and that's when Riddle was struck with guilt once more. He doomed you, again. He… no, he refuses to end it this way.
Your loving self became meek, frightened by the aspect of being under Crowley's care once more. You trembled, reaching out to the hem of Riddle's coat. "Riddle… Please don't let them take me…"
He pulled you up, whispering to you. "When I cast my magic, run YN."
"Ridd-"
"Never thought you'd defy me, Rosehearts. Being a law abider and all~"
"Off With Your Head."
Kalim Al-Asim
"Y-YN?"
Kalim desperately hung onto your ankle, on his knees, begging and bargaining you to stay.
"YN… Please don't leave me again," He begged. "I'll… I'll stop dragging you to parties! I'll get you anything you want just please… please come back to me."
His tears wet your foot, as his grip left light marks on your ankle. Kalim never meant to harm you. He was so desperate to make you stay, but in his heart, he knew that he didn't have the strength to keep you with him if you desired to leave.
"How could you think that?!" You cried out. You stooped to Kalim's level, tackling him in hug so hard that he crashes to the ground. "I… I'd never leave you if I had the choice! I couldn't stand NRC anymore…"
You sobbed into Kalim's chest, wondering when it'd all end. You could never refuse Kalim, but what about everyone else? What about Crowley? Your spine shivered at the monster's name, wanting everything to disappear except for you and Kalim.
Kalim didn't know what to do. He didn't understand why Crowley would do such a thing to you. If Crowley was causing you such pain… He'd just have to get rid of the problem. You only deserve the best, after all. It's not his fault, nor is it yours.
You had cried yourself to utter exhaustion. Kalim gently wrapped you up in his jacket, cradling you to his chest. As if clockwork, Crowley appeared to the heartwarming scene, simply glad that you were going to be returned.
"Al-Asim, Dire should patch her up nicely-"
"No."
Crowley coughed. "What was that?"
"I said no," Kalim reiterated. "I have no reason to listen to you…"
"Since YN and I aren't your students anymore."
Azul Ashengrotto
How grateful he was to find you near the water. He almost turned red at the thought of you willing to search for him. Azul never thought you'd long for him this way, but you knew him, and you knew him well.
As if on cue, you looked beyond the trees to see your beloved, running from the sandy shores barefoot to be caught by your precious Azul. Azul doesn't have the best reflexes, trying to catch you without hurting you.
Azul took one good look at you, and the sight was enough to make him cry. Messy hair, cuts and bruises littering your skin possibly from running through the rocky forest, feet with sores from rocks… and tearful, sorrowful eyes.
Not an inch of sadness deserved to touch you. That was one of his core beliefs. He didn't say anything to prompt you to tell about what you'd been suffering. He knew. He knew every line of the story, and it made him ever so guilty that it led to this. If he just paid more attention to you, or at least try to.
Azul offered you everything. An ear to listen and his body for comfort, with his arms wrapping about you. If the simple action was enough for your forgiveness, he'd do it over and over again.
It was for a moment Azul held you, before running the water with you in tow. From the forest emerged the tweels, but what was behind you made you scream. Crowley, with his magic, retaliating against the twins' magic.
Azul wrapped you around his tentacles, drifting further into the ocean with you. He bent down to whisper in your ear. "YN, close your eyes. Don't look."
You shut your eyes tight as you did, hiding yourself in Azul's chest, away from the scene.
"May we never see you again, Crowley."
Azul and the twins in their merforms plummet into the ocean, deep down where Crowley would never come to touch you.
Idia Shroud
He wasn't surprised that the huge robot scared you. It was his secret project after all. He immediately let himself out of the robot, but he was hesitant to step into the forest. Idia was scared, but he still had to protect you!
"Y-YN..."
"Idia!..."
You stopped running, seeing your boyfriend pop out of the robot. Idia was quick to get over his reluctance as his panic shifts to your injuries instead. He wanted to cry out of joy from the mere chance of finding you.
Idia tried to treat your wounds as best as he could with the emergency kit conveniently equipped [he really did think of everything] although his wrapping technique was unkempt at best.
Idia's attempts to heal you made you forget of all the suffering. You couldn't help but laugh, realising how much you missed Idia. He knew that you needed this time. Oh, how he wanted to whisk you away...
But he might as well. You're his, right?
Crowley didn't get close to reaching you. Idia thought of it all. He tracked every move the principal made, fooling Crowley to think that Idia was with you the entire time, with the tracking device that Crowley so faithfully gave him.
"How desperate... it's honestly funny..." Idia scoffed at the idea of Crowley getting to you.
With the S.T.Y.X androids, Idia confronted Crowley, who was in sheer confusion.
"Crowley… burn in hell."
Leona Kingscholar
Leona didn't hold back. He couldn't believe you would say such a thign to him… The only conclusion he reached to was that you hated him. You hated his very core, just like everyone else… He was scared. It frightened him to the core that after everything he did, you still hated him.
"YN… stop fucking around with me," He said, grabbing onto your wrist. He wasn't about to throw a tantrum then and there. He had to get things straight. "Hey… tell me. Was I just a waste for you?"
"W-What are you talking about Leona?" You pushed against his chest, trying to get some distance but Leona was way stronger than you. The lion couldn't listen to reason. He simply went on about how you must've hated him, and how much you despised him.
"Did I mean nothing to you, YN?" Leona was shaking, his shoulders trembling from the mere thought of hearing those words.
You wrapped your arms around Leona, pulling him in close. "I never did… How dare you think that you stupid lion?!" You said, sobbing your heart out. You were equally hurt, but you never once thought Leona would think such a thing.
The emotional reunion was interrupted by the principal himself, pretending to be moved by such a scene. The false pretense of safety caught on to you, and you were sent into a panic, clinging onto Leona for fear of your life.
"I hate you!" You yelled, your body crumpling to the ground just as Leona caught you. "I hate you, I hate you. I don't want to go back, don't make me!"
If you were to scream anymore, you might collapse from exhaustion. Leona was quick to carry you in his arms, holding you close to his chest, where you were comforted by his heartbeat.
"Hoi, good for nothing principal," Leona called out, a single claw drawn out, igniting his Unique Magic.
"Move before I turn you to sand."
Vil Schoenheit
He was stunned to see you in such a state. He called out for you, and you stopped in your tracks. Was he that incompetent that he can't keep you with him? Did he not treat you right? Was his mere presence just torture for you?
Vil couldn't keep it in anymore. He needed to know. "YN… why won't you come back? Tell me, is it my fault? Am I not worthy of you?!"
The once prideful queen fell into shambles of insecurity as his mind won't stop painting images of you walking away from him, of you calling him your doom, of him being your captor… No, he didn't mean it…
"Was I the villain in your story?! WAS I?!"
Vil had never cried as much as he did. He needed to know that you didn't of him as a nuisance. He really was worthless if he made you feel unwanted… so please, he needed an answer.
"How could you think that, my love?"
You stooped to Vil's level, brushing away the tears that ruined his makeup with your very hands. Oh, your poor Vil… You were too selfish, thinking of your own suffering. With Vil in your arms, you felt whole once again. You gave Vil your actual answer, relenting every moment of your stress that stemmed from Crowley.
Oh… how his sweet potato must've suffered. Vil had a stuck of guilt, considering that he was under an Overblot as well. No matter, he had to make things right. For your sake, for his love's sake.
"YN, Crowley is trying to find you. But I… I have to set things right," He said, pulling you up.
The rustle of leaves had you on guard as from it came Dire Crowley, revelling in the scene.
"Schoenheit. You are supposed to bring LN YN to me immediately as I ordered."
Vil for once scared you. It scared you how enraged he was, and your heart wrenched at seeing the ink droplets by his hand.
"Vil, don't you dare-"
He turned back to you, whispering for you to run to Rook's safety. "Don't cry, my love."
You tried to hold the tears once again as you saw Vil shifting forms to an ink-like mess, this time his rage directed at Crowley. You could only run away, praying in your heart that Vil was safe.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst scenarios#twst angst#twst dorm leaders#twst azul#twst idia#twst kalim#twst malleus#twst leona#twst vil#twst riddle#azul ashengrotto#idia shroud#kalim al asim#malleus draconia#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#riddle rosehearts
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My dear [S.U]
Sam Uley x Fem! reader!
Summary: “Did you have a hard day? You can complain to me. Did something make you almost cry? It’s alright, look at me. Starting from now, think of three really good things: the warm air, the dazzling weather, and me outside your window. I told you, you can see brightness only when it gets dark”
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: Mentions of abuse, death, heart dissease and such. English not my mother language so pls let me know if something’s wrong
gif’s not mine
"Sorry to bother you, Chief," you said following the man's moves through your house. Charlie Swan was carrying a reclining chair with ease leaving it in the middle of the living room while you stood at the bottom of the stairs with your little four year old daughter in your arms. Cassie was exhausted. It had been a long plane ride and a bit more road travel, which knocked your little girl out as soon as you set foot in your new home in Forks. It was a long time since you had seen that place but of course you remembered Charlie Swan as kind as he had always been. Even when you were just starting to think about moving back to Forks he was the first to help you get a safe home for you and your daughter. You remembered looking up for Charlie's old phone number hoping it was still the same and when you dialed and heard the man's voice behind the phone you sighed in relief. At last life seemed to be smiling on you after a long time and Charlie was quick to offer to help you if you decided to return to town.
He told you about a house for sale next to his. The owner was elderly and preferred to live with one of her children and earn income from the house near the forest that could be bought by curious tourists so Charlie convinced her to sell you the house and at a lower price than she was originally asking because the house needed some repairs that he could do. So you thought no more about it and packed your things to return to Forks after the horrible years you had lived in Brownsville.
Charlie picked you up at the airport in his police cruiser and avoided turning on the siren cause Cassie was already half asleep in your arms when you got off the plane and he didn't want to disturb her, but Cassie had the strength to stay awake long enough to make him promise that next time he would turn on the siren as they drove around town.
The truth was that Charlie Swan was an angel. He arranged everything so you would have a quick return and even now he was bothering to get all your stuff out of the moving truck so you wouldn't have the worry of doing it later.
"Nonsense, I'm happy to do it. Besides, it's my day off."
"And that's why you shouldn't be doing all this. I know vacations for police officers are non-recurring."
"I'm the chief, I have certain privileges."
"Still."
"Well, I wasn't going to let you do this on your own" he replied, carrying the boxes with your and Cassie's clothes. He set them down on the kitchen island and leaned back against them to rest. You walked over and settling Cassie better in your arms you sat down in one of the chairs Charlie had given you "Billy and Jacob will be here in a little while to get all this settled so you can have your first night here without any problems."
"I still think it's too much. Stop spoiling me like this, Charlie, you even gave me part of your dining room!"
"Ah, it was nothing. Bella and I recently bought a new one and we didn't want to take it to the dump cause it still has some use. The table is made out of good wood and the chairs are freshly upholstered. Look at it, it suits perfectly!"
"That's not the point" you said, glancing sideways at the newly arranged dining room near the kitchen "The point is that you're doing a lot for me and it's not fair."
"Your father would have done the same for Bella if it had been about me" he replied reaching for a bottle of water from the installed cooler. A sudden tension appeared in the room as you both remembered what your father's life was like in Forks "Jackson was my best friend for a long time and when he died...I promised him that I would seek you out and support you as if you were my own and that is precisely what I am doing."
"You wouldn't have if I hadn't left and hadn't abandoned him. He died because of me"
"That's not true."
"He was left alone when I left. He died of grief"
"He died from the heart valve disease he had. Your father suffered it from a young age and even so, you had a right to look for your mother"
"I wish I hadn't" you murmured, cooing to Cassie who was beginning to get annoyed by the noise of your voices "I abandoned my father and didn't find anything worthwhile"
"Well, that doesn't matter anymore, stop tormenting yourself and thinking you killed your father. I was with him. He loved you and he died peacefully, remember him as the good man he was, child."
You sighed. Cassie went back to sleep peacefully
"You're right. I'm sorry."
"Don't worry, sweetheart. I know it's not the same, but you have me now and I'd rather die than let you leave again, do you hear me?"
"Easy, I have no intention of doing that" you half smiled "I'm running away from the tracks I left in Brownsville, I have no desire to go back under any circumstances. What I'm worried about is that the tracks won't rub off and show the way to the one I'm hiding from"
Charlie clicked his tongue.
"That should be the least of your problems. I have a gun and I know how to use it. He'll have to deal with that first before he gets to you."
"Thanks, Charlie."
"Although, if Chief Swan is as good at shooting as he is at fishing then you'll have to learn how to handle a gun yourself, honey" a voice appeared from the doorway followed by a young man's laughter. You looked up meeting the unmistakable face of Billy Black next to his son Jacob. Billy entered your house being pushed by Jacob leaving him next to Charlie as he rolled his eyes "Be a little more modest, buddy."
"There's nothing wrong with bragging once in a while."
"Yeah, but you do it all the time."
"Shut up."
"Make me"
Charlie got up from his spot lunging towards Billy who ina swift movement spun the wheels of his chair avoiding Charlie's attack thus beginning a chase through the house dodging the obstacles of boxes on the floor. Jacob laughed taking Charlie's place in front of you.
"I thought we were coming to help with the move, not to watch them play like preschoolers?"
"Me too. I think Cassie will get along with them."
"Your little girl will beat them up right away"
"Probably."
You giggled quietly avoiding waking Cassie as Charlie and Billy finished their game to go back to the truck and get the last boxes, then you could finally get everything settled at home. Jacob smiled, looking at you
"I'm Jacob. You may not remember me but..."
"Are you kidding? I used to give you the bottle."
"No you didn't."
"Of course i did! My dad used to visit your parents a lot and he used to take me with him. You were a newborn baby and I used to volunteer to help Sarah feed you. You were the worst baby ever. You cried too loudly and squeezed the bottle with your swollen gums. Then you'd throw the milk back and you used to get really messy. Your poop was the smelliest I could remember."
"Don't say that!" he replied, embarrassed "I see you do remember me."
"And Quill and Embry. Tell me, are they still the same old fools?"
"They haven't changed at all."
You laughed.
"Perfect."
"Ok, these are the last boxes" announced Charlie walking into the house carrying with him a small box with Cassie's toys. Billy came in behind with some boxes on his lap "I think now we can get everything organized and finishing in time for you to get some rest."
"I'll clean up the little girl's room" offered Jacob standing up "then I'll fill the closet and set up the bed so you can lay her down, you must be tired from carrying her around for so long. is that okay with you?" he asked you. You nodded
"Yes, thank you Jacob."
"You're welcome. Give me that" The boy took the boxes off his father's legs and picked up Charlie's, all with one arm and with the other he carried the folding base of the bed. You opened your eyes wide
"Easy, big guy, when did you get so strong?"
"I don't know. It just... showed up" he replied disappearing up the stairs
"It showed up" said Charlie "Ah, I hope shows up something like that to me"
"Don’t hold your breath as that happens" Billy joked.
"I should do something for lunch" you said trying to stand up. You were going to put Cassie down on one of the couches and put some cushions around her, but Charlie won't let you. Billy agreed
"None of that. We'll order something."
"But..."
"Nothing" interrupted Billy "We'll buy pizza"
"You guys really need to stop doing this" you reproached. Billy picked up his phone
"Ah, sorry, you had to say that earlier, I'm already on the call."
"You guys are unbelievable"
Charlie smiled
"We know. oh I'll get Bella, she hasn't said hello yet" Charlie walked out before you could say anything else and closed the door dismissing the moving truck. Billy smiled complicitly, placed the order, gave the address and left the cell phone on the kitchen bar
"Dinner is served."
"Thank you."
"They had children's menu, so I ordered it for Cassie. I hear their brownies are delicious. Maybe I'll steal it for myself."
"I'll keep it as a secret"
Billy nodded with a smile and as the food arrived you chatted animatedly about what had happened in your absence, he also told you things about your father and all the times they went fishing together before his death. You were enjoying Billy's stories when time began to pass and Charlie didn’t return with Bella as he promised. Jacob was finishing Cassie's room and when the pizza arrived he came downstairs immediately, asking about Charlie's whereabouts.
"He went to get Bella, but he hasn't come back yet."
"That's strange, his house is right next door."
"Maybe something came up for him at the station" Billy shrugged.
You decided to wait for the Swans to eat, but seeing that they didn't show up Jacob offered to investigate what was going on when suddenly the door opened and a very worried Charlie Swan walked in wiping the sweat from his brow
"Bella’s missing."
"What?"
Jacob suddenly became alert and Billy remained static in his place. You felt a knot in your stomach. While riding in the police cruiser that morning, you had heard something about tourist disappearances and wild creatures killing people in the woods and you feared Bella might be in that kind of danger. You were never close, but you knew her and occasionally went out together to talk or share a movie night. You still hadn't seen her after the years you were away and the least you wanted was for something bad to happen to her.
"Did you talk to any of her friends?"
"She was with them during classes, but they lost track of her on her way here. I'll call the Cullens, maybe..."
"You didn't know?" asked Billy "The Cullens left Forks, Charlie."
"Where did they go?"
"We'll find her" encouraged Jacob "But we have to go out and look for her before dark."
"I'll go with you" you said "I'll take Cassie to her room and..."
"No, no, stay" Charlie asked you "I left a note for Bella at home in case she comes back she’ll know that she has to come here and wait for me. If she does, call me right away, please" you nodded
"I'll call Harry and ask him to join along with the boys" Billy said and wheeled away down the hallway holding the phone to his ear. Charlie and Jacob left and you decided to take Cassie to the room, go down to the kitchen and make some coffee for the Brigadiers and Bella. If she was alone in the woods and the night was catching up with her then she was going to need something hot to get her strength back.
You hoped with all your heart that she was all right. For her, for Charlie.
.
.
.
Hours passed one after another with no sign of Bella. Your driveway was carpeted with people and police cruisers specially brought by Charlie to search for Bella. The entire town was scoured by officers from the early hours of the night, yet there was no trace of the chief's daughter. You decided to join the search taking the opportunity that Sue Clearwater was playing with Cassie - who was awakened by the ruckus of the patrol cars - asking if it was a good idea to search for her in the woods, but Harry refused.
"It's too dangerous, we don't know what might be among the trees. We can't risk losing any more people."
You were about to object his words when Jacob came up to you putting a hand on your shoulder telling you that he was right and that the forest was something not to be taken lightly. So you gave up, deciding to go back inside and refill the coffee pot when Jacob alerted Charlie that someone had found Bella.
A tall man walked in a straight line toward the Brigadiers where Billy and Harry watched him with restrained relief. He had a stocky frame and Bella unconscious in his arms seemed to weigh no more than a feather. His cropped black hair was messy and his lack of a shirt told you that the icy cold of the city didn't affect him at all
You knew him. His face was very familiar yet strange at the same time. You were back in Forks after a few years, but you knew that no one could change that much in that period of time.
Sam Uley was holding Bella and Charlie took her in his arms as he came out of the stupor and relief of having found his daughter. The Brigadiers sighed in unison and Billy thanked them all. You wanted to do something, to approach Charlie, to ask him if he needed help with Bella, but your eyes were caught in Sam’s.
They were dark, wild, like the forest behind him. You remembered him perfectly.
Before you left Forks you two were close friends and came to like each other as something more, but your leaving ended that and what you might have been up to that point.
You tried to look away, but then Sam's huge body began to shake, his knees buckled and he fell to the ground resting his hands on the dirt. Harry Clearwater reacted and approached him asking if he was okay.
"Tired" you heard him whisper causing you to shudder. Harry helped him up, whispered something in his ear and after taking one last look at you he disappeared into the woods. Harry walked back towards you.
"I thought the forest was dangerous"
"For us."
"What do you mean?"
Harry looked at you. Then he looked at his wife with Cassie in her arms standing at the doorway . He smiled.
"You'll find out soon, child"
#sam uley#sam uley imagine#sam uley x reader#wolfpack imagines#wolfpack x reader#Quil Ateara#quileute wolfpack#twilight#twilight saga#twilight cast#jacob black#jacob black imagine#jacob black imagines#jacob black x reader#paul lahote#paul lahote imagine#embry call#embry call x reader#new moon#eclipse#breaking down
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Love Language|| Jujutsu Kaisen
“I wanna be fluent in your love language. Learning your love language.”
A/N: If you didn’t guess from the tagline this is inspired by the song love language by Kehlani. I’ll probably do more of these with different shows and what not because why not. If I missed anyone lmk and I can make a part 2. Also please tag spoilers appropriately esp for manga readers, that being said spoilers for the prequel? manga on Yuuta’s part.
Characters: Itadori, Fushiguro, Kugisaki, Maki, Inumaki, Okkotsu, Gojo, Nanami, Sukuna
Warnings: said it b4 but spoiler warnings in general but esp on Yuuji, Yuuta, and Maki’s parts
Plot synopsis: The 5 love languages; physical affection, quality time, words of affirmation, gift giving and acts of service, and how each jujutsu kaisen character shows their love and affection for you. Ft. a gender neutral reader!
Word count: 2352
Itadori Yuuji
Love Language: Quality time and physical affection
Ok listen-
So for physical affection, Yuuji’s just that kind of person
He is all about giving to you
He’s holding hands with you if you’re ever walking anywhere, and if you’re not a hand holder pls pls pls let him hold your pinky he likes the reassurance
No but seriously he loves to hold you like yall could be walking in completely opposite directions and he’ll try to find some way to hold onto you until the very last second
And even then he’s all ‘:( babe imy’
‘Yuuji we just talked 2 minutes ago’
Another way he shows his love is through quality time
I think for him this is the biggest thing overall, esp as a jujutsu sorcerer bcus you never know yk but also because you’re important to him
Like remember how he literally went to occult club so that he could get out of school in time to go visit his grandpa...ye :(
He also loves finding dumb touristy things to do with you while in Tokyo or anywhere yall go together on a mission
If you get together before he died and came back then that time he had to spend away from you literally killed him
Like my mans was goin THROUGH it
He almost considered spoiling Gojo’s secret
When he sees you again, he’s not gonna let go for like a solid day
Fushiguro Megumi
Love Language: acts of service and words of affirmation
This boy loves you so much
He loves to tell you all the things he loves about you when you’re alone
But he’s a little awkward with his words sometimes, hence where acts of service come in
He’ll immediately offer to hold your things, run to help you train or study, and if you’re cold? He’s fully prepared to never see his jacket again
Also he can’t cook but he’s fully prepared to suffer hearing Sukuna and suffering through Yuuji’s antics if it means he can learn how to make your favorite food
He also will surprise you by making you a playlist of all the songs that you’ve had stuck in your head and sends it to you randomly out of the blue one day like ‘thought you might like this’
However the best of both worlds is when he leaves you little notes throughout the day or sends you texts asking if you need anything or just encouraging you to keep going
Negl he’s lowkey the president of the Y/N support club bcus-
You need anything? It’s yours
Cravings? Sad? Angry? What do you need bby, I’ve got it for you
Also he’s totally the type to be like you need help fuckin this person up?
Also before yall started dating, Fushiguro was a mess
He was constantly asking to spar with you and go on missions, basically anything he could do to be near you
End of the day, Fushiguro loves you and makes sure you know it whether it’s through his actions or his words
Kugisaki Nobara
Love Language: physical affection
So, she’s not the best with words, she tries but like someone help her bcus she is LOST
Like when she had a crush on you she was like “c’mere dumbass i wanna give you a hug”
In fact, she still is like “c’mere” but now you are dating :)
She loves you though and at first she doesn’t really know how to show it
But one day you both come home from training and you just look at each other like ‘yeah today sucks’ and yall both just held each other for the rest of the day
After that, she decided that she wants to do that with you but like always
She’s holding your hand, kissing your cheek when you go shopping, etc. etc.
She really loves to cling to you because she always has this fear that maybe one day you’ll get killed or just disappear so she figures might as well hold onto you for as long as we’ve got
After missions, she’s running up to you and if you aren’t prepared for the tackle, you’re probably gonna fall
On dates too, like if you guys have to meet up for a date, she’s tackling you
On the subject of dates...
She doesn’t mind PDA, and while she might hold your hand or arm so that you don’t get separated
She also doesn’t mind wiping food off your face and eating it, only to then kiss the spot on your face the food was previously at
She will split her shopping load between the two of you, however she will be slightly pouty if she’s carrying more than you (she then cheers up when she realizes she can do more shopping to “balance” the two of you)
In private she’s very cuddly and kissy which honestly isn’t that bad until it gets hot
At which point she’ll just say turn on the ac or convince you to walk around in a tank top (or something like it) so that she can continue holding you
Tbh she prefers the big spoon, but if she’s ever upset you let her be the little spoon >:(
All in all a very loving girlfriend who tries her best to show how much she loves you by glomping you at any given moment.
Zenin Maki
Love language: acts of service and quality time
So you’re telling me that Maki wouldn’t immediately go out of her way to make sure her and her s/o can spend as much time together as possible?????
Like she’s super observant (which can cause her to be a bit harsh, see Yuuta) but she can always tell what’s bothering you
So if you’re upset that you haven’t been spending enough time together due to her being out on missions or otherwise busy she’s immediately running to finish her stuff and spend time with you.
((She’s very sorry, but on the bright side she brought your favorites!))
Maki is also an acts of service type
This mostly ties in with her kind of direct action way of thinking
She thinks she’s slick but you can always see her sneaking around to do small things like grabbing your laundry for you and folding it
She’s very much like if you love someone, you gotta prove it
Overall, dates with her are very intimate and personal to the two of you
Like she’ll take you to a frog pond you landed in during a fight once
Or you’ll take her to a street fair that serves this exclusive food that Maki mentioned wanting to try
However, Maki shows her love through quality time and acts of service and while she does receive love from these to a degree, she is very much a words of affirmation gal
She’s not insecure in her day to day life but she has her moments, everyone does
Sometimes, she’ll feel like shit and a failure and all she wants is for you to say that she’s doing amazing and that she’s a great girlfriend.
Inumaki Toge
Love language: Physical affection
Because of his curse, he can’t exactly express how he feels about you through words
He does text you frequently throughout the day (I’ll have to do a hc abt that someday)
But he’d prefer not to be on his phone to communicate if you’re right in front of him
So he does the next best thing and just smothers you in physical affection
He loves kissing you the most
Like he could spend hours just kissing you if you let him (please let him)
But in public, he gets if you’re not a big fan of pda he’s willing to tone it down as long as he gets kisses later in private
He’d still prefer it if you held his hand or linked pinkies maintaining touch in some way
Also, unrelated, but it means so much to him if you try to understand his sushi language
He knows realistically the foundation of any relationship is communication so already he’s at a disadvantage because of his curse
But if he sees you like take notes after he says something or start to need him to text you to translate, his heart is swelling
Like ‘omg this person loves me enough to learn a whole new language <333′
Another tangent but before you were together he was struggling so muchhhh
Like how does one express their feelings for someone without words?
If you’re Inumaki, you buy some flowers and text said person to meet you at a cafe
It took an embarrassingly long time for you to realize it was a date, but once you did, you ever so gently linked pinkies with Toge
Okkotsu Yuuta
Love language: words. of. affirmation.
He’s literally so sensitive please tell him you love him regularly
In return he’ll be sure to tell you how much he loves you too
He knows that he can’t really be there for you as much as he’d like but he likes to let you know that he’s thinking of you
Doesn’t matter the time, if you call, he’s answering
If he doesn’t he’ll cry he’ll immediately call you back and is apologizing for missing your call
You assure him it’s no big deal but the man has his volume turned all the way up and changed your ringtone to one specific for you by the time you’ve even said hey
Aside from that, he really is sensitive
He’s been through a lot especially with Rika as well as growing up alone and bullied
So for him, it’s everything to hear that you like having him around and don’t think he’s too much or anything like that
Of course, he gets better with time, trusting you and having the confidence in himself to not need constant assurance
That being said, if you ever just whisper in his ear, “I love you, Yuuta.”
That’s not your boyfriend, that’s a puddle of love on the floor
(Maki, Panda, and Inumaki had a field day when they saw him, Fushiguro now questions if Yuuta really is a respectable 2nd year.)
Gojo Satoru
Love language: gift giving and quality time
So Gojo doesn’t exactly get to spend a ton of time
Between missions, him beefing with higher ups, and you and him playing parent the baby sorcerers yall don’t exactly get time to go out much
In which case Gojo tends to default to two options:
He’ll either go the extra mile to try and spend time with you
Whether that be an at home date where he tries and fails to surprise you with a home cooked meal
Or a date out at a restaurant or cafe (which you tend to visit after his home cooking efforts)
OR he’ll bring you various souvenirs from his missions
He loves to spoil you, and if he could he’d probably bring you back a whole store’s worth of stuff
But alas, airport security regulations
Anyways, he loves to spoil you especially if he can spoil you with sweets because it benefits him in two ways
He treasures all the time you spend together, and he does try to overcompensate for his absence with gifts
Despite your assurances, it’s kind of a guilty pleasure at this point (just let him, trying to argue just goads him on further)
He doesn’t only buy you small things, he enjoys buying you outfits
And he especially likes seeing you in them
Kento Nanami
Love Language: acts of service
Y’all remember the episode where he killed that curse that was bothering that baker lady?? Yea that
He’s literally such an acts of service boyfriend it’s not even funny
Before you got together, he would memorize your coffee order and bring you a cup pretty much everyday like clockwork
Now that you’re togehter, he wakes up before you so h=that when you wake up there’s the smell of coffee throughout the house
When you come out of you’re shared bedroom and he’s just scrooling through his phone like “mornin’”
Of course you already made the bed and ironed his clothes because relationships are give and take
And then when you leave for your jobs in the morning, he kisses you and holds the door open for you
He’ll draw a bath for you if he gets home before you, if you let him join or not is up to you
Also, if you ever get sick, he’s actually the best
Like he isn’t the best cook but he can heat up soup and tea
He’ll run to the store while you’re asleep and when you wake up, there’s like a whole tray of food in front of you and he’s like ‘it’s important to eat and drink so your body can heal’
And when you inevitably fall asleep after eating and taking medicine at his insistence, he tucks you in and clears away the dishes, exiting with little more than a kiss to your head
Ryoumen Sukuna
Love Language: gift giving and acts of service
So like Sukuna never says he loves you...ever
But he does notice if someone or something’s making you uncomfortable, and if so, said entity’s head will be presented to you later that day
You also just so happen to be the only person he can tolerate being around him for longer than 20 seconds
He also loves to give you jewelry, he likes seeing you adorned in something from him
He also isn’t gonna just handle all your problems for you, he will push you to become stronger by training with you
He’ll also expect this energy to be reciprocated, as long as you’re pushing yourself to be better, he’s content with that
(He wants to see you grow because he’s scared that if he ever gets caught lackin one day you’ll end up dead)
He’ll never tell you or admit it, but Sukuna truly does care for you and hold you in a regard that he doesn’t have for others
So be grateful jkjk
#love language#love language series#love language hcs#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen hcs#jujutsu kaisen fushiguro#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#yuta okkotsu x reader#inumaki x reader#gojou satoru x reader#itadori yuji x reader#fushiguro megumi x reader#sukuna x reader#nanami x reader#kugisaki x reader#maki x reader#im so sorry yuutas part is so short#hes getting a fic soon i hope that makes up for it ;-;#idontblushsrry
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Flowers are indeed beautiful when painted with blood
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Warnings ; angst?? Mentions of blood,sickness,hanahaki disease, not proofread
Characters : Childe x gn! Reader, Keqing (lol)
A/n : Hi! Its my first time making a fic of my favorite character, and i dont know why but I have this urge to create a fic because Im shy in making requests to my favorite authors!! Also pls ignore the mistakes, this is my first time writing so hoping its good? Also i dont know what title should i put so uhhh hehe
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"This is ridiculous"
you said as you stare in the mirror. Tears staining your face, blood and petals all over the bathroom.
"Why is this happening to me"
You grip on your chest tighter as the pain started to grow even worse
"How can I be so dumb"
You knew you were suffering from hanahaki disease. You thought it was just a myth or a foe, but really, you didn't expect yourself to suffer from such a disease. You tried to hold back your tears as the pain keeps on growing
Is this my fault?
Is this what I get in return?
You sat on the bathroom floor and breathed slowly
Is this finally it?
As you closed your eyes you suddenly remember him, your bestfriend, your comrade, your loved one
Ajax...
Ajax, Tartaglia, Childe or whatever you may call him is your bestfriend. He was the first friend you made when you first moved into Liyue. You were minding your own business as you were walking in the streets, walking around exploring the city When suddenly a ginger-haired man bumped into you
"Oh sorry! Didn't see you there"
You were about to say something but as you looked up, He flashed a kind, genuine smile. A smile that you never knew would leave a mark in your head. He let out his hand to help you stand up and you both exchange names
You were indeed starstruck at the ginger-haired, goofy looking man, Eyes that reminded you of the deep ocean blue You were snapped back to reality when he waved a hand infront of you
"Hello? Is there something wrong?"
"N-nothing, I was just thinking about.."
You looked around and saw a restaurant, you invited him to eat lunch with you and he gladly accepted your invitation.
That's where the both of you started to get closer, to everyday hang-outs and nightwalks. To barging into one's house in the middle of the night for some reason, Bringing you to Snezhnaya to meet his family as to where as Teucer took an interest to you and calls you Big Sis. Everything was okay, everything was fine
Until she came...
As you and Ajax were walking by the beach, talking about each other's day, enjoying each other's company
"Hey (name),What do you think of (someone's name)?"
You stopped at your tracks with eyes widened but you turned to face him and gave him a smile
"Well she's alright I guess?"
"She's strong" you're not
"Really pretty" you're not
"And brave" you're not
Childe smiled "really?" And you nodded "Well, I've been thinking of asking her out" And there it was, your heart shattered into pieces and on the verge of crying. But you forced yourself to give Childe a smile "Really? Do you think she would go out with a flirt like you?" You playfully teased him and both of you laughed
As days passed by, Childe spent less time with you and more with her. He would sometimes come to you for advices and help in order to capture her heart and you stupidly helped him
But I was here first you're not strong
I spent more time with you you're not worth it
I was there when you needed help he doesnt care
And here you are now, in the bathroom coughing up petals and blood. Payed no attention as to what is happening outside. You can't even breathe nor talk or walk properly without shaking
You're weak that's why he doesnt want you
You started crying and laughing because you were dumb enough to fall someone who wont even love you back
Childe was aware as to why he hasn't seen you in days. He even asked the fatui or anyone around if they have seen you but all he got was nothing. The girl did confess to him but shockingly, he rejected her (childe playboy/j) because of the feeling of you not around did hurt him
Was he, inlove with you? He thought
"Big Brother! Is Big Sis okay? I miss her so much and I really want to play with her again" Teucer tugged at Childe's coat as to which Childe bent down at his level "Just hold on Teucer okay? Big Brother is going to find Big Sis for you" Childe stood up and told Lumine to assist Teucer for a while
He did go to your house but he was told that you weren't there, So where were you?
You stared at the ceiling with tired and puffy eyes, you can't handle it anymore. "(Name)? Are you done yet? I'm starting to worry here" you heard a knock on the door and slowly you stood up and reached for the door. "Yeah, all good here Keqing" Keqing was your bestfriend, she was the one who told you to move in Liyue because she missed you, and you did too
"My gosh, (Name) you're bleeding!" She said as she quickly wrapped your arm around her and checked the bathroom "what on earth happened here? Wait...don't tell me" She quickly assisted you to the bed and knelt infront of you "(Name), you're suffering from hanahanaki...why didn't you tell me?" She started to tear up but you gave her a smile
"Don't worry Keqing, everything's going to be alright"
"NO! YOU HAVE TO BE CURED ASAP!! (Name) please..."
You looked at her carefully as she held your hands crying.
"But if I get cured, then doesn't that mean I'll never get to feel love again?" And forget about him
"You'll die if you won't get cured"
You started to cough again but this time, even worse. Keqing started to panic and called for help, Your breathing started to become slower as you passed out
I don't know what love is
Its been a year since Childe had last seen you, the thought of you who suddenly went missing won't get off of his mind
Where are you? Why are you still missing? Did I do something wrong?
As he was walking with clouded thoughts, you passed by him laughing along with some person. He quickly turned around and eyes widened, He was out of control when he suddenly grabbed your hand
"(Name)?"
You turned to see a tall ginger - haired man as he was grabbing your wrist
"E-excuse me, have we met before...?"
He was shocked at your response, He thought you were joking as he continued to ask you questions
"I'm sorry but I don't remember being with you...if you could excuse me, I still have some other matters to attend to"
You freed yourself from his grip and walked back to your friend, apologizing for the wait
He was confused, no, he was angry? Sad? Dissapointed? Because how could you forget about him? How could you just disappear on him and suddenly appear without saying anything Why did you forget about him? How could you be so selfish
You were still confused as to why that man had stopped you, but who knows because all you remembered was suffering from something and woke up as if it was just a dream
But that man did felt familiar to you, you did feel something...but what was it? Because you don't remember this feeling at all
#childe x reader#genshin angst#genshin impact x reader#genshin x y/n#genshin tartagalia#genshin impact childe#childe#childe x you#genshin imagines#hanahaki#tartaglia#tartagalia x reader#tartagalicious
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can u make a nikolai x reader based on the song mr perfectly fine by taylor swift?
Mr Perfectly fine
A/n: Ahh, thank to you friend, I've been jamming to this song every day lmao Hope I've done it justice x Also, I've left out some parts of the lyrics to make it better fit the story.
(if you want, you can add yourself to my taglist here)
for my other masterlists, you can find them on my navigation page
Word count: more than 7K (ikik it took a life of his own, what can I say)
Warnings: bit of fluff, angst (like a lot), character's death, spoiler if you haven't read Siege and Storm
Tagging: @jupiterandbutterflies (Thank you so much for your comment! I saw it and it made my day✨)
(I don't remember where I took this from so if you know pls lmk)
Most people knew of Nikolai Lanstov. He was a prince, the second born and the most charming. Most people knew him thanks to the countless rumours that went around at court: supposedly he was not of royal blood. "Sobachka" was what they called him.
No matter how though, everyone knew of the last Lanstov prince. But very little knew him.
Meeting him wasn't difficult. Since he had been of age, Nikolai had always been out of the Grand Palace and among people. He’d also volunteered to enlist in the first army, refusing any kind of special treatment and fought beside his brothers in arms in the infantry. That was part of the reason why everyone outside the court loved him so much.
Being Grisha meant that fighting in the Second Army was mandatory. Not that you minded. There was nothing you wanted more for your people than to finally be free. Also, that Shadow Fold needed to go and as the Darkling has always said, all efforts are necessary.
That’s how you met Nikolai the first time. Generally, the First and the Second Army were stationed in different parts of the campsite. Numerous quarrels between oprichniki and Grisha had rendered the separation necessary. However, you never liked crowds much and living in the Little Palace meant that you were always surrounded by people. So, every chance you had to draw away and be by yourself for a while, you took it. Also, being a Healer meant that you’d spent more time in your assigned tent taking care of soldiers than among them.
Word had gone around that everyone in need could come to you. Usually, you had been instructed by the Darkling that your powers were reserved for Grisha. However, what good was it to have the ability to cure people and only take care of a selected few that very rarely got seriously injured? Meanwhile, soldiers of the First Army often suffered from severe injuries, fatal gunshots or knife wounds. You could help them and possibly save their lives so why shouldn’t you?
That was why Nikolai found you one night. Sure at that point it was just another nameless soldier to you. He had never been in your tent before so you had never seen his face before. The boy whose arm he had draped on his shoulders though, was a usual visitor of yours.
“Oh, Petyr, what happened this time?” gesturing to his blond friend to lay him down on the table, you started gathering everything you needed. Not that you needed much but you had found out that Petyr was absolutely incapable of bearing having his bones or injuries in general repaired without having some kind of pain reliever before.
After a few tries, you came up with a herbal composition that dulled the pain but didn’t make him unconscious. Using kvas would mean that Petyr would be knocked out for a couple of hours. That would put him in trouble with his superiors.
“He’s a fool, that’s what happened.” The explanation came from his friend after he put him down gently. Despite his words, you could hear in his tone worry and guilt?
“If saving your life makes me a fool then go ahead and call me one,” Petyr huffed in pain.
“Who knew you were so brave, uh?” After quickly shredding the herbs you needed, you poured hot water on it and brought the cup to Petyr’s lips while helping him keep his head up.
“He’s the bravest of us all,”
“If I knew it took a bullet wound to make you hand out compliments so easily, I would have done it sooner.” Scoffed Petyr after sending you a thankful look.
“See? What did I tell you? A fool,” his friend said dramatically and you smiled amused at their playful banter.
“Let’s see what we’re dealing with, shall we?” You said out loud to warn both Petyr and his friend. Letting them know what was about to happen was best, your experience taught you. Both for the person on the table that could brace themselves for what was about to happen and for the person with him that was filled with worry and cautiousness. Oprichniki didn’t trust Grisha that much.
After assessing the damage, you let out a relieved sigh as the bullet had gotten through and it had not hit any major artery. It had already got infected though, so you knew it would be a painful one to treat.
“So, did you receive any letters lately, Pety?” You ask, suggestively wiggling your eyebrows while your hands cover the wound. You had your eyes closed to better focus but you were sure that he had rolled his eyes.
“Only from my mum.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t write her back,” you said, opening your eye just in time to send him a glare.
“Ugh, not this again, y/n, please. Have mercy on me, I’m bleeding all over the table.” Petyr moaned making his friend snicker.
“You’re not bleeding all over the table and if you didn’t notice, I’m already taking care of you, am I not? That doesn’t excuse you for being an idiot, though.”
“Are you two in cahoots or something? It’s not fair. Wounded man over here.”
“Oh shut up.” Both you and his blond friend said at the same time. Petyr moaned once again and you sent a little amused smile to the blondie.
“Should I leave you with a cool battle scar? Maybe acting like a war hero will give you the balls to write to her.” You harmlessly threatened him but your hands were already reconnecting the tissue of his skin without letting it scar.
“I’ve told you, y/n. She deserves better than what I can give her. I am, who knows if I even make it home? I’d be only stringing her along.” Now Petyr was dead serious. It was true, you had talked about this often since he was a regular you got to know him better and he had soon told you about his sweet Katia.
While his friend chanted “fool” like a mantra in the background, you took his bloodied hand in yours, his wound fully healed.
“Petyr, how do you think she’s gonna react when she learns that there hasn’t been any delay to her letters but you’re just ignoring her? Besides, you should let her make this decision too. Who knows, she’ll surprise you.” Squeezing his hand you turned to let your words settle and to put away your utensils. You knew you had given him so much food for thought so you didn’t address the subject anymore. His friend helped him off the table and that’s when you noticed that he was injured too. He had a pretty nasty cut on his lower lip and there was already a bruise forming on his temple.
“Petyr, you can sit on my chair while I take care of your friend. You should be fine but for at least a while don’t stress your body.”
Mentally making a list of the things you need to tend to this kind of wound and where you kept them, you started collecting before heading back to them.
Petyr had sat down but his friend was still standing.
“You don’t have to lie down if you don’t want to, but unless you don’t want me to go take a ladder or something, it would be best if you sat on the table.” You gave him your best reassuring smile as you mixed the healing paste. Sometimes, men didn’t like to put themselves in a vulnerable position with someone they didn’t know and had learned to fear. He wasn’t that badly hurt and it would only take a couple of seconds to fix but not every oprichniki was comfortable with being healed by Grisha power. So the paste would do your job for you. It would take longer, sure and it would also sting a lot more but at least he’d be healed at last.
After looking at you for a little while, the blond man did as you instructed, giving you a dazzling smile in return when you settled between his legs to fix his cut.
“The name is Nikolai or handsome if you prefer.” It was not the first time a wounded soldier tried to flirt with you. IT didn’t bother you, you found them amusing more than anything and you knew it was the allure of someone taking care of them speaking more than any real interest.
“Let’s hope you won’t be around here much for me to learn your name.”
“I’ll have to find another way to make myself unforgettable then.” He winked at you before hopping off the table.
You didn’t address his words, only gave them the paste you had prepared. It would prevent any wound from being infected and would be able to cure small cuts and bruises if applied for a couple of days. With that, you sent them both on their way. Petyr waving you goodbye while Nikolai sent you another wink.
And so this was how it all started.
Mr. "Perfect face"
Mr. "Here to stay"
Mr. "Looked me in the eye and told me you would never go away"
Everything was right
Despite your fellow Grisha, military life could be a bit alienating. Which sounded like a paradox, sure, but everyone had their own way of processing trauma and emotions and of course there were plenty of those during the war. If the best way to come to terms with everything that happened was to distance yourself from others and try to find the solution in solitude, it could get to the point where you’d feel alone in a room full of people.
To get a little respite, you’d usually go on a long walk or resort to stargaze. Sometimes, depending on where you were posted, it wasn’t safe to leave the campsite. So, that’s how Nikolai found you one night. Even he had to take a breather once in a while. Being a different version of yourself based on who you’re interlocutor was must be exhausting. Of course, you didn’t know this. You knew nothing about Nikolai at that point if not that he was Petyr’s friend and a socialite, according to other soldiers.
He seemed to be at the centre of gossip no matter what group of people you found yourself with and there also seemed to be a consensus about him. Everyone liked him. Even if it was rare for some Grisha to appreciate oprichniki, you knew they somewhat respected him because if they didn’t praise him out loud, they didn’t speak ill of him either.
“Not a fan of crowds, are you?” he announced his presence before sitting down beside you.
“I love them, I really do. It’s just that sometimes it gets too much.”
“Yeah, I know how you feel.”
“You do? Everyone seems to think you’re a socialite.”
“It’s what I want them to think but alas, I enjoy being more complex and multifaceted than that.” He lightly bumped your shoulder with his, eyes aflame with mischief.
“I bet.” you simply smirked. Despite how everyone seemed to think they knew him, you got the peculiar vibe from him, like there was a lot more to him than what he let everyone see.
“No one seems to know much about you.”
“Maybe you’ve talked to the wrong people.”
“Well, then I guess it’s better if I got straight to the source, don’t you think?”
“That will surely be a better start. Not sure you’ll find what you’re looking for though.”
“We’ll see.”
That night had been the first of many. It had become a sort of an unspoken arrangement between the two of you. While it didn’t last long, you sensed that you got to know him better than everyone. There was something about late nights meetings under the stars that prompted deep and meaningful conversations. It wasn’t hard to form a solid bond with him after a few nights.
The conversations weren’t always personal in the conventional sense. You’d often stray and talk about the most bizarre things. Like why something had the name it had or how cool it’d be if it was possible to pass through surfaces, which led to imagine all the uncomfortable situations one could find themselves in if they were to simply go into a room through its wall.
Nikolai was witty, overly confident and ambitious and he knew a lot of things. You always wondered how he had learned them since he was so young and been in the army for a couple of years already. But Nikolai was never too forward on certain topics, his family and childhood being some of those. You understood, those were sore subjects for you too. So you never insisted. It was much more interesting to listen to him rumble about impossible future projects of his, like a flying ship.
"When people say impossible, they usually mean improbable." He’d say whenever you’d point it out to him. Somehow, despite the absolute absurdity of them, the sheer confidence that he seemed to constantly exude, made you consider the possibility of his success.
You got the distinct feeling that there was nothing this man couldn’t do.
But that was when I got to know Mr. "Change of heart"
Mr. "Leaves me all alone," I fall apart
It takes everything in me just to get up each day
But it's wonderful to see that you're okay
But, alas, as all things do, these encounters of yours also got to an end. You knew it would happen, you were both soldiers so your lives were both heavily characterised by uncertainty after all. However, you were not prepared for it to end so abruptly though. And without an apparent reason. Because Nikolai’s unit hadn’t been posted elsewhere and he hadn’t been fatally wounded. You would have heard of it were that the case. But it wasn’t.
You thought that he had come to cherish your nightly encounters too. Some of those had been full of his promises. How he’d love for you to be around when he’d eventually find the time to work on his ideas. How you had been a nice surprise, a most interesting person among so many dull idiots you were surrounded by every day. How he’d come to value your opinions and presence in his life and that he was going to find a way to make sure that that would never change. Promises that turned to be empty.
You had never allowed yourself to fully believe him. It wasn’t the first time that a boy had made the same kind of promises but Nikolai looked sincere. Honest enough to be believable. But, of course, you had been wrong.
You didn’t realise just how much you had come to rely on him until he was gone. You tried to keep your mind off him and luckily the perfect distraction came your way. The Darkling had scheduled an attack on the enemy’s army and had posted you to be on the field to take care of everyone promptly. You had never been more grateful to the man, even after he had given her a home and a purpose.
Ever since your first encounter with Nikolai, you had thought it had been a blessing. However, you had soon changed your mind and now considered a curse more than anything. Why? Because as soon as you got to the field you couldn’t help but scour the troops for a familiar mop of blond hair. Many looked like him and being this far you couldn’t be sure that he wasn’t one of them but you certainly despised the leap your heart made every time though. That was a distraction you couldn’t afford. Besides, it wasn’t smart to let your heart get involved in times of war.
The battle began, Inferni and Squallers were working together to impair the enemy’s visual so they couldn’t shoot or use their cannons while the First Army marched after them to swap in as soon as the air cleared to catch the enemy by surprise. While your role wasn’t active per se, you were a Corporalki after all, and even if you had been specifically trained as Healer, you had also got one of your friends to teach you the basics of an Heartrender’s work. You weren’t a powerful one but you could hold your ground in a fight. Especially since they weren’t expecting you. And you were still far from any real threat.
The battle dragged on and soon there were wounded soldiers that needed your attention. You hated this kind of work, it was messy and dirty and had to be quick because spending too much time on one soldier could mean dooming another to death. You were accustomed to it by now and soon found a rhythm focusing on ensuring everyone’s survival and not bothering with the aesthetic side of healing. That could be taken care of later if they wanted to.
As soon as your eyes fell onto a crouched figure you sprinted towards them. It was dirty and you didn’t recognize them but you got the feeling it was a life or death situation. Oh, how you wanted to be wrong.
The person crouching turned out to be Nikolai and he wasn’t alone. He was kneeling beside someone, Petyr.
“Where are you hurt?” you hurriedly asked as you tried to assess the damage. His uniform was dirty and full of blood but you couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Trying to answer you, Petyr opened his mouth only to let out the most gruesome gurgling sound as his respiratory tract was flooded by blood.
“He got shot in the gut.” Nikolai offered.
“Is the bullet still inside?” Opening his uniform jacket you tore a piece from his shirt to use it to put pressure on the wound.
“It’s too late,” Nikolai uttered.
“No.” You strongly refused as you removed the cloth and focused on the wound. His heart was straightening and he had already lost a lot of blood. If the bullet was still inside that it was going to be a problem, if it wasn’t then you still had a fighting chance.
“I removed it earlier.” So that was why he had lost so much blood. Nodding your head to show that you had heard him, you set out to stop the internal bleeding. Slowing his heartbeat so that it was pumping less blood and thus eased your endeavour. You were still in the middle of the field and while you were keeping up with the warfare but in the back of your mind, you registered the sounds of screaming and of gunshots getting closer. A bullet hit you in the shoulder propelling you forward over Petyr’s body. Grisha’s kefta were bulletproof so you weren’t worried for your incolumity but for the harsh movement you had made.
Leaning back, you heard Nikolai calling for you but your eyes were trained on Petyr. You tried to listen for his heartbeat but could only hear two instead of three. Nikolai, who had never left your side, immediately understood what had happened by the fall of your shoulders and the tensing of your hands.
He kept calling for you but the only thing you could focus on was that you had let your friend down. Now there will be one more family crying for a loss, another girl mourning a lost loved one. And it was all your fault. It was because of you that Petyr wouldn’t live to see another day, to write another letter or to fight another battle. It was on you.
The details of what happened next were a bit blurred. Someway you must have found your way back to the campsite. Whether you did on your own after tending to everyone else, you didn’t know. Your memories picked up after you woke up in your tent. Someone was calling your name, saying that the Darkling wanted to see you.
Mechanically you raised and made your way to the Darkling’s tent but your mind was elsewhere. Your thoughts were plagued by Petyr’s face, by that godforsaken sound he made when he tried to speak. The realisation that he was gone hit you like a wall of brick that would have made you stumble if you weren't’ sat in front of the Darkling’s desk. Whether he was speaking and stopped after seeing the forlorn look in your eyes or he hadn’t been speaking at all, you didn’t realize. You did hear him say that you were going to be posted somewhere. Under different circumstances you have said something, anything to not let him send you away. Your mind immediately went to Nikolai. You’d be leaving him behind along with the campsite.
However, you now realised that you had already lost him. Losing Petyr had been the last thing that had completely severed your bond. There was no turning back now and part of you was grateful.
Hello Mr. "Perfectly fine"
How's your heart after breaking mine?
I've been Miss "Misery" since your goodbye
And you're Mr. "Perfectly fine"
You couldn’t know, of course, but Nikolai had left not long after you did. Albeit for a different reason. He had finally earned the Major rank and as such, he took a step back from military life deciding that his skill would be better suited for a life on the sea. Assuring Ravka the supply she needed but in ways that weren’t exactly suitable for a prince but worked just fine for a privateer. And thus Sturmhond came to life.
As for you, you kept doing your job at your new post but were relieved when a letter came from the Darkling instructing that you were needed at the Little Palace. Part of you had relegated Nikolai to that part of your mind where the unmentionable was, however, a traitor thought whispered that maybe there was a chance that you could see him at the royal grounds. Sure, the possibilities were close to zero but it was still possible, right?
No.
You already were ashamed of the fact that you’re still suffering because of him. And yes, you missed him but you weren’t going to indulge the pathetic hope of seeing him again.
He doesn’t want to see you. If he did, he would have already found you. Or write you a letter if he couldn’t, but he didn’t.
You were right. You knew you were, nonetheless, the thought only brought you a bittersweet feeling.
You found the Little Palace just how you’d left it and yet it seemed changed in a way. The insane amount of work you found there waiting for you helped you drown the feeling that it was you that had changed.
Months passed this way, sometimes the Darkling would post you with him or outside the Little Palace. All in all, you’ve kept busy. When news of the little prince leaving the Palace reached you, you let it wash over you. It wasn’t like it mattered much, whether he was a few feet away or in another nation, Nikolai wasn’t part of your life either way.
When the whole expansion of the Fold happened, you were stationed at the Little Palace. Chaos and terror ensued as soon as the news reached the capital making most of the Grisha flee. Most of them went looking for the Darkling while others simply ran away and hid. You were amongst the first group.
Soon, your life was radically changed. The shift in the Darkling was palpable and it didn’t have anything to do with the scars on his face. You had tried your best to heal them and Genya to tailor them away but somehow, they could not be removed. It was an unsettling thing to realize that they didn’t take away his beauty. One could even say that they enhanced his attractiveness.
He was certainly more powerful. None of you knew what had happened in the Fold that day, just that the Sun Summoner had fled and that there were no survivors apart from him. However, as your journey in pursuit of Alina dragged on, you were soon witnesses of his newfound power.
The nichevo’ya, he called them.
He had always been immensely powerful. One of a kind. But this- this was different. And as dread settled among your group as you watched them in action, realisation sat heavily on your shoulders.
He soon found a trail and traced Alina in Novyi Zem and set out to reach the island by hiring Sturmhond’s crew. He was a famous pirate after all and despite his unreliability, the Darkling was sure that as long as he got his money, he wouldn't be a problem.
In the round trip, you didn’t see much of the captain anyway. Some members of his crew were amiable enough, particularly the Yul-Baatar twins. You had even asked Tamar to spar with you from time to time. Your lessons with Botnik were a distant memory and you knew that mastering combat training skills could increase your chance at survival.
When Alina and Mal were held captive though, that’s when Sturmhond made an appearance. He looked younger than you’d thought and there was something oddly familiar in the way he held himself. Still, you didn't talk with him much. Your job was to take care of Alina and so you spent most of your time in her room.
It wasn’t until the Darkling asked Mal to track Rusalye and consequently spent more time with Alina that you had a chance to talk with him. It was during one of your night shifts when he approached you, the Darkling had wanted some of his to always be patrolling the ship.
“What could possibly make a little thing like you be amidst this wretched company?”
“It’s all a matter of perspective, I guess.”
“The thrill of adventure?”
“There’s plenty of it everywhere you go if you’re Grisha, even if you just go on a stroll.”
“Is that why you follow him?”
“I owe everything to him.”
“I’m sure you realize your role in this.”
“Of course I do. I’m not some naive girl who has a crush on her general.”
“Ah, so who, pray tell, do you have a crush on then, beautiful lady?”
“You’re certainly noisy for a pirate.”
“Privateer,” he corrected you, “there’s not much to do around here is it?”
“Not if you have everyone taking care of it, no.”
“Amuse me.”
“It isn’t wise to let the heart get involved in times of war.” That was all you were willing to share. Yes, he was handsome. Yes, the twinkle in his eyes was oddly familiar but he was a stranger. A dangerous one.
“Those sound like words spoken from experience.”
“Maybe.”
“Well, I’d say it’s no fun to only think about war. Life is so much more.”
“Believe me, if I could, it’d be the last thing on my mind. But, alas, l don’t have the privilege to do so.”
You had already lost too much time speaking with him. If someone were to see you or tell the Darkling you’d be in trouble. And you had made it your goal to never put yourself on the path of the Darkling’s anger. So you excused yourself and went back to your rounds.
If only you had stayed and talked to him more maybe you would have understood what was about to happen. Maybe you would have had an enkindling of Sturmhond’s plans. Instead, you were taken by surprise, just like everyone in your group, when Rusalye was spot and a shot was fired. You had found yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to fight against people you had grown to like.
“I don’t want to hurt you, y/n,” Tamar warned you as you stood face to face on the sinking ship dock. Her trusted axes in her hands while your hands were raised ready to attack.
“I don’t want to hurt you either.”
“Then you don’t have to. Come with us.” Her proposition made you gasp.
“That would be treason,” you whispered hoping that the Darkling wasn’t around to hear you. A shiver ran through you as you thought of the punishment he’d give you for even thinking about leaving his side.
“Then you leave me no choice.” She said lowering her arms. Was that guilt you heard in her voice?
Before you could voice your question though, she shouted for her brother and not even a second later, you felt your body grow still. Your eyebrows faltered as you felt your heartbeat slow down.
They were Grisha.
They must have seen you realise because you heard Tamar apologize before everything went black.
Mr. "Never told me why"
He goes about his day
Forgets he ever even heard my name
Well, I thought you might be different than the rest, I guess you're all the same
You didn’t stay out for long though. As soon as Sturmhond’s crew had left the Darkling’s ship and had safely made it onto the Volkvolny, the privateer had asked for you to be awakened.
There wasn’t enough light for you to realize you were on another ship, what alerted you of your new situation were your hands. They had bound them behind your back. Immediately you started to struggle, hoping to wiggle out of the restraints. To no avail though. Huffing out in frustration, you settled for looking around you and see if there was something you could use. That’s when you noticed him.
“Release me- this instant, or else-”
“Or what? You’re a Healer. Not exactly a violent job, is it?” Sturmhond interrupted you, a smirk on his face since he had the upper hand.
“I don’t need my powers to kick you in the ass, do I?” He laughed but didn’t look remotely threatened. Rather amused, actually.
“Please, you have to let me go. He’ll kill me if-” Panic started to build as you realized that there was no way you could successfully escape.
“He won’t touch you.” A solemn glow took over his eyes. “He won’t ever hurt you again, you have my word.” He promised, looking subtly at your left shoulder. You winced as you realized that he must have seen your scars. The ones left by the Darkling’s niche’voya.
“How can I know if you’re trustworthy? You don’t exactly have a good score, you know?”
“You’re going to find out soon enough. Don’t worry.”
Of course, he didn’t bother offering further explanations. He’d left it at that. You weren’t a captive per se but he left your hands bound, only freeing them when you needed to eat or relieve yourself.
Fruitless were your efforts in making you tell more. He often ate with you and would check in at least twice a day but that was it.
It wasn’t until after you had landed after that forsaken vehicle of his had gotten you through the Fold that you understood. His coming out as Nikolai Lanstov, prince and second in line for the Ravkan throne, had shaken you all to your core. However, you doubted that it had sent a pang to the others’ hearts as it did with yours.
Nikolai Lantsov. The man you had been dreaming about, the one that had left you behind without any sort of explanations, the one you missed so dearly, had been by your side all this time.
You weren’t sure how you felt. It made sense now why his eyes looked familiar and his posture. You then connected that the vehicle you had used in the Fold had been one of the many projects he used to geek about with you. It tasted a lot like betrayal. Not because he had lied to you about his name but because he had tried to get close to you again and had managed to somehow break that growing bond again.
'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl
I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her
So dignified in your well-pressed suit
So strategized, all the eyes on you
Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins"
So far above me in every sense
So far above feeling anything
Even if his secret had been outed thus causing some shift in the dynamics between Nikolai and the two new members of his crew - you suspected Mal was closer to punching him every second that passed- not much had changed for you.
On the outside, you pretty much looked like a prisoner. Albeit a very clean one. You rode with them, hands still bound, scowl ever-present on your face.
Nikolai had not come to see you ever since that night after the Fold. And now it had been almost a week since you had started your journey back to the capital. Whether this was all part of his plan to make you look the part of the captive even more or he was just gutless, you didn't know. It was working either way though.
You liked to think that his reason was simply that he didn't care. He had far too much on his plate right now as it was. Going back to court after years of absence while also making claims to the throne and trying to sway the Sun Summoner your way. It was no easy feat. But hadn't he always liked to say that impossible often meant improbable? A lot of things had changed since that night but even so, you'd still pose your bet on him that he'd be able to achieve anything he set his mind to.
It wasn't exactly that thinking this way brought you actual comfort. Of course, not. But it was better than foolishly hoping for him to still care about you the way you did for him. After all, he had sent plenty of signals that pointed in the other direction.
But then why did he kidnap you? Why take you with him? You weren't that close to the Darkling to be of any use to Nikolai in that way. And, as a matter of fact, no one had come to interrogate you regarding his plans or whereabouts. Then why?
You still couldn't figure it out.
Some days your anger shifted more to frustration and you were ounces away from asking for him yourself. Almost as if he had heard you though, he gave you the final push.
It was the usual day, Nikolai and Alina were riding in the carriage, stopping in every village we passed to meet with the locals. However, this time, before climbing back into the carriage, they kissed.
You were too far to figure out who started it and the details. The gist of it was enough though.
You most certainly were a fool. Still thinking about a guy who didn't give two shits about you, who had kidnapped you putting you in a dangerous situation and you were still wondering whether he felt something for you or not? Pathetic.
You had to do something about your situation and quickly too. Officially, you were a traitor. You had fled and joined the Darkling, that wouldn't make you look good in front of the king. He was a lousy bastard anyway and will probably sentence you to death to set an example. You hadn't survived so much shit to end up at the end of a rope.
So, even though you had initially thought against it since you were so close to home, you decided to escape. You were already headed towards certain death so what was the worst that could happen?
Your hands were left unbound when you were in your tent. One less problem to solve. Closing your eyes, you focused on listening for any nearby heartbeats. You heard two, those of the guards posted outside your tent. Maybe you could find an excuse to call them inside, put them to sleep and then slip away.
That was not exactly what your powers were for but you were desperate. You had to at least try.
And so you did. You called them in and immediately set out to slow their heartbeats. You had almost succeeded in putting them under when someone else slipped in. The last person you wanted to see.
"Am I that bad of a host?"
You didn't meet his ruse though, you knew it would make you lose focus.
"I'm afraid I have to ask you to release my soldiers." As soon as he said it though, they fell unconscious at last. Your chest was heaving by now, using so much power in such a different way was costing you. But you couldn't back down now. It was one on one and you were Grisha and a woman scorned. He stood no chance.
"Move out of my way, your highness."
"I'm afraid I can't do that."
"You can or I can make you. Your choice." The venom in your voice was unmistakable and it took him by surprise. He gave you a curious look tilting his head to the side like he was seeing you for the first time over again.
"I didn't realize ruthlessness was one of your personality traits."
"You know nothing about me," you seethed. The tip of your fingers flexed, the tension in the room could be cut with a knife and you were already weary.
"It may have been a while y/n, but I like to think I know a good deal about you."
"And I would like to completely erase this last year but you don't hear me yap about how shitty it has been, do you?"
"You never did like opening up much."
"I'm well past the point of sentimentalism, Nikolai. It is coming far too late anyway. And whatever my feelings for you may be, I won't let you put my life on the line." Your posture straightened, stance ready for battle.
His eyes flashed, jaw clenched. His hands closed in fists and he almost looked hurt. But why would he?
"Is that what you think all of this is?" Nikolai always acted aloof. He was always composed and dignified. You had thought it was for his insane amount of self-confidence but now you understood it was for how he was raised. But you recognised the pout on his lips. It was the expression he’d always have whenever he tried to get something from getting to him. To prevent himself from showing emotions.
"You're holding me captive while you go around Ravka parading your latest conquest, flashing your return everywhere. I don't know why you're doing this but I don't care. I've stopped waiting around for you and I certainly won't let your father put me to death."
"You think I'd let him?"
"So you want to do this?" you threw your hands up in exasperation, "Fine. You really want to know what I think?"
"Be my guest."
"I think that the Nikolai I knew would have left out of the blue without so much as a letter. I think that the Nikolai I knew was ready to go to any length to achieve what he believed in. However, I thought that the Nikolai I knew cared about me and what we had but look at me now. So maybe, I know nothing at all."
"You certainly do seem to know a lot of things. But you’re not wrong."
"If this is the way you care about me," I gesture to my tent, "then I'm not sure I want this Nikolai to care for me."
“This,” he said, emulating your gesture, “is to keep you safe. This is my way to ensure that if the Darkling got news of your whereabouts, he’d be sure not to think you willingly left his side and betrayed him.”
“That’s because I didn’t!” You raised your voice in outrage. The nerve of this man.
“Spare me your indignation. I know you hate being at his beck and call, to do his dirty work and be constantly surrounded by warfare.”
“Do not presume to speak for me.” You snapped. You knew it was best to keep a cool head but his cockiness was getting on your nerves.
“Didn’t you? Hate it, I mean.”
“We’re at war, Nikolai. Being away or close to the Darkling won’t change that. At least with him, I was safe.”
“You can’t be that delusional to think that he was protecting you.” He scoffed at your words as if they were the most absurd thing he had ever heard.
“And you can’t be that delusional to think that bringing me back won’t result in your father killing me.” You fired back shifting on your feet. He winced as if you had physically hurt him.
“You have so little faith in me?” His voice was just above a whisper and you knew that your words had struck a chord.
“How can I have any, Nikolai?” your voice softened a bit. “One day you’re telling me how much you value my opinion, you promise me a future where I’d be the first to see your project come to life and then you left. You just left, Nikolai.” And when I was starting to make my peace with it that’s when you come back? Also, let’s not forget about my abduction and your flirting with Alina.”
“So yes, I don’t trust you.” You concluded, crossing your arms on your chest with finality. He just stared at you for the longest time. If someone would come in now, they’d think you were in the middle of a staring contest. Then he sighed and started talking.
“I had to go away. I had already pushed my parents’ limits when I said I wanted to be part of the infantry. So, one day I got a letter written by my father personally and I knew that my time was up. I had been Nikolai for too long, now I had to start being a Lantsov prince.” His eyes were on the ground now, shame making her way in his words.
“So that’s what I did,” he went as he started pacing,”I went to Kerch to study, just like my father wanted. I did what he asked, he couldn’t reproach me anything now. I could never stay too still though, a life of adventure was calling me and I could not ignore it. It was only then that I realized that I could do so much more than sitting in a class, to realistically help Ravka.”
“I couldn’t take you with me. You had such a larger role to play in the army and besides, there wasn’t much I could offer you. So yes, I left. I left thinking that I would find my way back to you eventually.” He had stopped by now, regret was swirling in his shining orbs as he looked at you.
“You could have told me.” You contestated, taken back by all the information he gave you. “I would have waited for you.” A whispered promise for something that would never be now.
“I was afraid, y/n. That’s not my best moment, I know and no number of apologies could ever make it right. But I was afraid of your answer. I knew I’d be asking for a lot and let’s be honest-” the desperation in his tone was evident now, he had unconsciously started to lean towards you but you knew what he was about to say.
“You weren’t sure if the future you were offering me would just end up with me being your mistress, am I right?” Your tone hardened but despite the insulting implication of what you said, you weren’t made at him.
“I’m a prince, y/n. We do not marry for love and this country cannot afford to disregard the advantages that a political union could bring.”
His honesty was as refreshing as it was unsettling. He was right. As soon as you had learned he was a prince, you realized just what kind of future you could have with him. But then he left and that problem did not exist anymore. Neither of you spoke, both of you were seizing the other. You had laid it all out, defences were down putting you both in a vulnerable position.
And someday maybe you'll miss me
“You should have talked to me, Nikolai. We could have figured it out together. If it came to being your mistress to stay with you, then that was my decision to make.” You said softly after a while. It pained for you to say this, you would have never thought that getting closure would hurt this much.
Tears streamed on both of your faces, in front of you had been laid what your future could have looked like. It was everything you had wanted, you could still do your job and have the man of your dreams. You were surprised to find that you wouldn’t mind sharing him with his supposed wife. You had been at court for enough time to know how most marriages went. If he assured you it was only a diplomatic affair but that his heart was yours, that would have been enough. Who knows, maybe she’ll get a lover too.
But now… now you didn’t know if you could ignore everything that happened. You did not trust him nor could you ignore how hurt you were by his lack of communication and thus of trust in you.
But by then, you'll be Mr. "Too late"
#nikolai lantsov#nikolai lantsov x reader#nikolai lantsov imagine#nikolai lantsov imagines#nikolai lanstov one shot#nikolai lanstov fic#nikolai lanstov x you#nikolai lanstov x y/n#shadow and bone#grishaverse#nikolai lanstov angst#nikolai lanstov fluff#nikolai lanstov blurb
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number eleven : s.r
a serial killer is at large in atlana, carving numbers into his victims and throwing their bodies from rooftops. yet, things seem to hit a little too close to home for your liking, and sadly you get caught up in it all (4.2k)
( this is an original idea of mine, I’ve gone based off what I know in the show but the killer is made up! pls do not steal my concept without at least asking, and i hope you enjoy :) )
“It’ll be okay, Spence,” You fight against the unsubs hold as his arm remains pressed against your neck. “just, don’t give up.”
“Please, let her go!” You can hear the crack in his voice as his gun shakes in his grip, his eyes not leaving yours as tears pool. “You don’t have to do this, there’s another choice for you.”
The unsub scoffs as you wince at he breathes into your ear. “This ends with you.”
*
Two Days Earlier
“Hey, Spencer,” You smile as you walk through the doors to the bullpen, two cups of coffee in hand as you place onto his desk. “how was the Doctor Who convention?”
Out of everyone in the team, you were the only one to pay attention to the small details Spencer shares. You always have done, ever since you first joined the BAU, you noticed the subtle eye rolls as he rambled on with facts and statistics so you made sure to always pay attention.
Lifting his head up, Spencer can feel a smile tugging his lips as you take a seat at your desk adjacent to his. “You would’ve loved it. They had the original designs from the Cybermen’s first appearance in 1966, ‘The Tenth Planet’ and for the time, it was high tech stuff.” He explains whilst you listen contently, oblivious to the others watching you both.
“God, they’re so into each other it hurts.” Emily sighs as Penelope nods along.
JJ walks over to the girls, catching sight of what they’re fixated on. “Why can’t they just say something? I mean, it’s been three years.” Penelope questions, but JJ simply chuckles.
“This is Spencer and Y/n we’re talking about.” JJ comments. “For one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, Spencer can be stupid sometimes.” She states, returning her focus to how you look at Spencer as he talks, but also how willing Spencer is to be close to you and laughs at your input in between his rambles.
“I bet twenty dollars he’ll say something by the end of the year.” Rossi chimes in, but Emily scoffs.
“Dream on, Rossi.” She comments, but Rossi shrugs his shoulders.
Hotch exits his office, catching a glance from the girls who quickly stand up straight. “We’ve got a new case,” He announces, passing between you and Spencer on the way.
As you all enter the board room, you sit beside Spencer as you look at the tablet in front of you whilst he sticks to the original file.
“Within the past few months in Atlanta, Georgia, at least nine women have been found dead having fallen from rooftops, all in their twenties, latest victim was Caroline Kutes, twenty-three. Last seen having gone for a run after her shift at a local diner.” Penelope explains as you scroll through the images, seeing what was left of them from the crime scene.
“It’s not some suicide pack, is it?” Morgan speaks up, but Penelope shakes her head.
“I’m glad you asked, sugar.” She turns her back as she pulls up more images, displaying the victims left forearms.
“Numbers?” You question, zooming in onto the number three having been carved into the victim's flesh. “Someone’s keeping track.”
“So we know there are nine confirmed victims of this unsub then, it’s not a suicide pack.” Hotch states. “The police have requested our insight on the case, wheels up in thirty.”
Closing the tablet you push your chair back. “You alright?” Spencer asks you as everyone begins to file out.
You force a small smile, nodding. “Yeah, just some cases are never easy.” You mutter before heading out and grabbing your things.
*
Arriving straight to the latest crime scene, Hotch splits the team up. “Prentiss, I want you and Morgan to go to the rooftop, see if there’s anything left by the unsub or Caroline Kutes. Reid, Y/L/N, go to the morgue to take a look at the carvings and if there’s any other sign of torture.”
With that, you climb into a car with Spencer, looking at the drop from the building to where Hotch stands. “One hell of a fall.” You whistle as the driver pulls away, Spencer not missing your comment or how you’ve been wiping your hands over your pants since you arrived.
Standing in the morgue, Spencer took the lead as you stood back whilst bodies were examined. “There isn’t any sign of sexual assault on any of the women, but there are bruises across the neck and the carvings on the arm.” The diener explains. “From the fall she suffered several broken bones, a collapsed lung and a crack to her skull along with internal bleeding.”
“Are you saying she was alive when she hit the ground?” You speak up, stepping closer to see how they’ve managed to clean up the victims face, what remains from the large gash in her head.
“Yes, but only for a minute. She chocked to death on her own blood.” The diener states and you can’t help but feel a shiver through your spine.
“It’s most likely the unsub approached these women, if Caroline was out for a run, he might’ve asked her for directions or grabbed her. If she was grabbed, it would explain the bruising on the neck in an attempt to cut the circulation off to the brain, rendering her unconscious.” Spencer suggests, looking over to you as you remain too quiet for his liking. “You in there?”
Snapping out from your thoughts, you nod. “So the unsub approaches these women, tries to strangle them and then takes them to a rooftop. He isn’t sexually assaulting these women, but why throw them off a roof?”
“If he’s trying to pose it as suicide, it’s unusual for women to throw herself off a roof, it’s too dramatic. If a woman were to commit suicide, she’d overdose or drown herself. A subtle way to go.” Spencer explains as you nod along. “It’s almost as if he’s apologetic. He wants them to suffer, but can’t inflict the pain besides carving a number into their forearm.” Spencer looks over the number on Caroline’s arm. “You can see in some area’s he didn’t go deep enough with the knife, he’s dug in multiple times to carve out enough skin to make it bleed.”
“Maybe he’s a narcissist? Keeping track of his victims, making sure no one else can take the limelight for these girls.” You state. “I mean, he knows he isn’t going to get caught by the girls. Based on Caroline, she could barely move let alone tell anyone who did this.”
“I’ve seen countless bodies from suicide by jumping from buildings. It’s a rarity if you survived such a fall like this.” The diener tells you. “Clearly they knew what they were doing.”
“Contrary to popular belief, when the body falls from a height their head does not splatter onto the ground. Their bones will break and splay out, but if you were to fall from say a 48 feet building you’re most likely to live with a 50% chance of surviving.” Spencer explains, and you nod along.
“But our unsub picks tall buildings. Office blocks, malls, parking lots.” You tell Spencer who hums. “He knows they’re not going to survive the fall.”
“Yes, but statistically,” Spencer begins, but your phone begins to ring cutting him off.
“Sorry, Spence.” You tell him with an apologetic smile before moving out from the morgue, taking the phone call. “Yeah?”
“Ah, my sweet angel. Have you found Cupid’s arrow yet?” Penelope chuckles, causing you to roll your eyes. “How’s the case going? No one’s called to update me on the gruesome details.”
You sigh quietly. “Honestly, Pen, you’re lucky.” You tell her. “And what’d you mean by Cupid’s arrow?”
Penelope groans loudly through the phone, and you can hear her head hitting the keyboard before she apologises to it. “Y/n, how are you so pretty yet oblivious to the attraction of one Spencer Reid?”
“I, what?” You stumble over your words as you look over your shoulder to see Spencer staring back at you with a small smile on his lips as he waves to you. “I, he, Spencer? No,” You scoff, trying to think about anything else to reduce the spike in your heart rate.
“I’m no profiler, but I know things,” Penelope states.
“You’ve got it all wrong, Pen. Sorry to disappoint you, but there is no way he could ever like-”
“Y/n?” Spencer calls out, now standing in the doorway in front of you. “Hotch wants us to meet him, has a potential lead.”
“Sorry P, I gotta go.” You tell Penelope before she has the chance to say anything else and hang up the phone.
Walking alongside Spencer, you can’t help but notice how close he is to you. For someone who is a bit of a germaphobe, he’ll always sit with you before anyone else. During a flight last month with bad turbulence, he held your hand in his as you began to fall asleep, resting your head on his shoulder. You woke up concerned he’d mind, but Spencer just smiled and offered his shoulder any time.
“So, what’s the lead?” You ask as you walk into the police precinct, finding the rest of your team in a small room as boards with pictures have already been set up.
“I’ve checked with Garcia about the possibility that whoever is doing this must have some form of access to each of these buildings. There has to be something tying them together,” Prentiss begins.
“Like a cleaning company, or security?” JJ suggests.
Emily nods before grabbing a file and reading directly from it. “SecureO is a security company based all over Atlanta. They have hundreds of security guards working at various office blocks, department stores, parking lots. You name it, they’ve got people there.”
“And our unsub works for them?” You question, looking at the file to see the hundreds of names. “How are we supposed to find him?”
Hotch reaches out to call Garcia. “And here I thought you forgot about me.” Penelope states through the line, and Morgan smiles to himself.
“Garcia, can you take a look at the employee records for SecureO and crosscheck to see if any of them have criminal records.” Hotch asks as you listen intently to Penelope typing away.
“Okay, fifty-seven members of staff have criminal records.” Penelope states.
“How about any with troubled pasts? Maybe this guy is using these women as a form of release. He’s not sexually assaulting them, so it’s less likely to be about an ex, maybe it’s more personal.” You suggest, and Spencer scans through the file once again before looking back at the victims on the board.
“You, my pretty might be onto something,” Garcia chirps. “right, there are twelve members of staff who grew up in the foster system. I’m sending their details over to you right as we speak.”
“Wait, Penelope,” Spencer calls out and Hotch raises his head. “how many of those twelve lost family? Basing on their age and strength, he must be at least in his late twenties or early thirties. Try looking up any accidents in the state in the late eighties to early nineties.”
“Thinking he might have never left the state?” Morgan questions, his arms crossed over his chest.
Clearing his throat, Spencer stands taller beside you as you glance up at him with a reassuring smile. “Looking at all these women, they’re all young and pretty. Anyone who grew up in the system is less likely to leave the place they’re comfortable in. If our unsub grew up in Georgia, he would’ve stayed here and have gotten a job at eighteen. SecureO has been around for twelve years, and five of these employees have been around since it began.”
“Okay, I’ll send across anything once I’ve found it.” Penelope speaks up and hangs up the phone.
“Good work, Reid. Let’s go deliver the profile.” Hotch nods as he leads the way out of the room, Rossi patting Spencer’s shoulder as he departs.
“Not too shabby, Doctor.” You nudge Spencer playfully and he softly chuckles as you walk out.
“Couldn’t have done it without you, Y/n.” He mutters under his breath as you walk out of earshot.
*
Entering the station the next morning, you looked around as solemn expressions greeted you.
“What’s happened?” You ask, taking a seat beside Spencer who notions to JJ.
“Another victim was found in the early hours of this morning. Amelie Hartnell, twenty, was discovered on top of a dumpster in a back alley below a seven-story abandoned office building.” JJ passes over the file to you as you flick through the images whilst you hold your breath.
“She was only twenty,” You mutter to yourself, unaware of Spencer eyeing you carefully. “there’s something about the carving on her, it isn’t as deep. You can see it’s a lot shallower than the others.” You explain.
“He was in a rush this time.” Morgan states. “But if it was an abandoned building, who was going to see him?”
“I’m not sure,” Hotch mutters. “call Garcia, see if she’s found anything yet about those five employees.”
“On it. Baby girl,” Morgan comments before exiting the room.
“You seem tired, Y/n.” Rossi speaks up, and you lift your head up to see the concern in his eyes. “Is something bothering you?”
Shaking your head, you dismiss the matter as the team look over at you. “I’m fine, just thinking about a few things. Didn’t get much sleep last night.” You tell him, but Spencer can tell there’s something else underlying you’re not saying. “Excuse me, I just need some air.” You mutter before exiting the precinct.
Watching you walk away, Spencer sighs. “Well, go follow her,” Rossi motions to Spencer who quickly gets up and exits the room. “these kids, I swear.” He mutters to himself once Spencer is out of sight.
As you walk out, you take a deep breath, clearing your thoughts. “Y/n,” Spencer calls out and you turn around, forcing a smile. “something’s clearly bothering you.” He states as you move away to sit on a bench whilst Spencer hovers beside you.
“When I was growing up, I had a friend, Sylvia,” You start, and Spencer watches as you brush your hands over your pants once more. “she moved to Savannah and we just grew apart, but I’ll never forget her brother, Killian.”
Spencer sits down beside you, your leg touching his as he reaches out and takes your hand. “Y/n, what was it about Killian?” He questions quietly.
“He was always there, just watching us.” You mumble, remembering those bright blue eyes always in the background, never leaving you or Sylvia. “But, their parents, they died in a car crash when Sylvia was thirteen, Killian was fourteen.” You begin to explain as you exhale a shaky breath.
Squeezing Spencer’s hand, he shushes you. “It’s okay, just, take it one memory at a time.” He reassures you as your eyes remain tightly shut.
“From what I know, Sylvia couldn’t take it, losing her parents,” You swallow the lump in your throat as you open your eyes, focusing on Spencer’s. “she killed herself, by jumping off of the roof of a mall.”
“Just like the first victim.” Spencer mutters as he quickly stands up. “We gotta tell Hotch.”
*
“Why didn’t you mention this sooner, Y/n?” Hotch stressed as he frowns at you, but Spencer remains by your side as you keep your focus on the team, eyeing the photos behind Emily.
“I suppressed a lot of memories from when I was growing up, I forgot all about Killian and Sylvia, but seeing these photos it just made me think back to it all.” You explain, looking around at all of your team. “I’m sorry for holding back.” You apologise, and JJ smiles as she walks over, hugging you lightly.
“Garcia, can you look up Killian and Sylvia Atwork?” You speak up into the phone and Penelope begins to type rapidly before pausing.
“Oh my god,” She mutters. “Killian has been working at SecureO for ten years. He was employed when he turned eighteen and is in charge of the security footage for various locations.”
Hotch rises to his feet. “We have to inform the police department and the news outlets, JJ, can you sort a press conference?”
“I’m on it.” JJ states as she begins to call her contacts, taking the call in another room.
“Y/n, we might’ve just had a break in the case because of you, thank you.” Hotch comments and Rossi gives you a subtle thumbs up. “Garcia, I need you to look at any other buildings that SecureO are in charge of the security systems, see if our unsub is heading to any of these next. If we’re lucky, we’ve got enough time to stop him killing again.”
“Will do, Sir.” Penelope calls out from the phone.
“You think we’ll get him in time?” You speak up, fiddling with the hem of your cardigan.
“Hopefully.” Hotch sighs and JJ walks back in.
“Ready when you are, Hotch.”
* The plan was simple, and it should’ve been effective. All of you were teamed off into pairs. Prentiss and Morgan, JJ and Rossi, Hotch and the chief of police whilst you went with Reid.
“I’m proud of you, Y/n.” Spencer mutters as you sit beside him in the car on route to the office block about ten minutes west of the station. “Without you, we might not have gotten to this point.”
Spencer can’t help but feel warm inside as you smile up at him. “You think so?”
“I know for a fact.” He states as his hand reaches out to yours as he pulls up to the building. “Just keep an eye out, and don’t do anything stupid.”
“Again.” You add as you close the car door, securing your vest on as the pair of you begin to head up to the roof of the building, you leading the way.
“Any sign, Y//L/N?” Hotch asks through your earpiece.
Looking around, you keep your gun extended in front of you as you quietly open the door to the roof. “Negative.” You state, turning the corner as you continue to search the place whilst Spencer is still coming up the stairs.
“Reid, my dead grandmother could’ve gotten up those stairs faster than you.” You joke playfully as he comes into sight, the sun beginning to set behind you illuminating his hazel eyes as they widen.
“Y/n!” Spencer yells, but you’re too slow to react as an arm is tightly holding your neck whilst a knife is being pressed against your back beneath the vest.
“Long time no see, huh, Y/n?” Killian mutters into your ear as he begins to drag you back as you sight against him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, this can end one of two ways, I prefer to keep this clean.”
“We need back up and medics at 1238 Meadow Lane, I repeat, we need backup. Killian is here, he, he has Y/n.” Saying that through the comms immediately causes his heart to sink as tears fill your eyes.
“We’re coming now,” Hotch announces, and you can hear the sound of sirens across the city as Killian drags you toward the edge of the roof with you in front of him.
“Spence,” You focus on Spencer’s face as his gun remains out, directed at Killian’s head. “what are the statistics of surviving this?” You ask him as a tear falls down your cheek.
“Y/n,” Spencer starts, but you shake your head as you fight against Killian, taking shallow breaths as he continues to apply pressure to your windpipe.
“Please,” You breathe out as Killian chuckles against you. “I need to know.”
The truth of the matter is you know your odds of making it out alive are slim to none, but you wanted to hear Spencer ramble one last time.
“From a building like this, a ten-story drop your odds aren’t great, in fact, falls from ten-story buildings have a 90% chance of death.” He explains, his gun now shaking in his hand as he pictures you on the ground below, bleeding out. “Those, those who survive can be paralysed if they land on their backs, permanent brain damage from skull fractures or,” Spencer stops himself as Killian focuses on him.
“Do finish Doctor Reid, I’m enjoying this.” Killian states, and you shudder at the fact he’s finding this entertaining.
“In cases like Sylvia, she survived but was left to bleed out.” Spencer finishes, and your eyes widen. “You see, Sylvia wasn’t suicidal like we thought. She was just in the wrong place, wasn’t she, Killian?” Spencer steps closer, but you wince as you can feel the knife starting to pierce your skin.
“No, Sylvia killed herself. I, I saw it.” Killian yells, tightening his grip around your neck as your hands lie limply by your sides. “I would never hurt her.”
“Not intentionally,” Spencer comments. “you were playing, and you knocked her, didn’t you?”
Killian shakes his head. “No! She jumped!” You can feel his heart beating against you. “She jumped and never said goodbye, she left me all alone.” He cries out.
“Killian, I’m sorry.” You manage to say. “It wasn’t your, your fault.”
“She left me here.” He spits at you. “Everyone else moved on, but I was left with the guilt.”
“There’s always another way, Killian.” You speak softly, focusing on Spencer. “But if this is it,” You start, but Spencer shakes his head. “Spencer, I’m so sorry.” You let your tears fall freely down your cheeks as Spencer steps closer.
“Y/n, don’t do this.” Spencer tells you.
“I love you Spence, but please, please be strong for me.” You can feel yourself beginning to slip out of consciousness as Killian continues to apply more pressure around your neck.
“There’s another way out, Killian. I promise you, just let Y/n go.” Spencer is yelling at the top of his lungs as Killian simply laughs.
“You think there’s another option? You sure you’re a Doctor, kid?” Killian scoffs.
“It’ll be okay, Spence,” You fight against the unsubs hold as his arm remains pressed against your neck. “just, don’t give up.”
“Please, let her go!” You can hear the crack in his voice as his gun shakes in his grip, his eyes not leaving yours as tears pool. “You don’t have to do this, there’s another choice for you.”
The unsub scoffs as you wince at he breathes into your ear. “This ends with you.”
Closing your eyes, you embrace the feeling as Killian falls backwards, taking you with him.
“NO!” Spencer screams, running over as Killian lets go of you at the last second.
Spencer grabs a hold of your hand, but within a split second, it slips. “Spence,” You cry out as you hang on to the ledge of the building with all your might.
The sound of Killian hitting the floor only worsens your fear as Spencer begins to pull you up. All you can hear is the sound of your heart in your ears as the sirens dull behind you whilst Spencer is yelling in front of you, yet you can’t hear any of it.
“Come on, Y/n, stay with me!” Spencer screams as another pair of hands appear by his side.
“Come on, we’ve got you.” Hotch states, pulling you up with Spencer and away from the ledge.
Immediately you fall into Spencer’s arms, your hands gripping his arms as you sob into his chest. “It’s okay, I’m not letting go.” Spencer holds you tightly as he looks up at Hotch, his expression saying more than words can.
“We need a medic!” Hotch yells as three men appear, checking over you as you remain sat with Spencer on the roof, far away from the ledge.
“You’re okay,” Spencer tells you as you go quiet, going into shock as the medics help you out from the building and into the ambulance as your team stands by.
“Oh thank god.” JJ blurts out as Spencer exits the building, enveloping him into a tight hug. “Are you alright?” She checks as she pulls away, but Spencer can’t help himself as he focuses on you in the back of the ambulance, wrapped in foil as the medics check you over.
JJ follows Spencer’s gaze and can’t help but force back her smile.
“Go on, you should be with her.” She assures him, but Spencer pauses.
“Y/n told me she loves me.” Spencer quietly tells JJ who quirks an eyebrow. “You, you knew didn’t you?”
JJ chuckles under her breath. “Spence, we all knew. But she doesn’t know you love her too, does she?”
Spencer shakes his head as he glances back over to you, seeing you being given the all-clear as you begin to rise to your feet.
Immediately, Spencer darts over to help you, his hand resting on your waist as you look up at him. “Spence, I,” You stumble over your words, watching as Killian’s body is being transported away in the body bag.
“Hey, don’t focus on that,” Spencer rests his hand on your cheek. “you’re alive, and I guess you beat the statistic.” He states, listening as you laugh lightly.
“Probably because I didn’t fall.” You add.
“But you almost did, and, and I would never have had the chance to tell you this,” Spencer tells you.
“Tell me what?” You ask, looking up at him with hesitation.
Spencer opens his mouth and after exactly three years, two months and nine days of knowing you and falling in love with you, he cannot find the right words to string together. “In the English language. there are 171,476 words. I’ve only ever needed three of them to tell you how I feel, but I can’t even do that properly.” He laughs uneasily as he focuses on you.
Lifting your hand up, you rest it on the back of his neck as you rise to your tiptoes. “Is this okay?” You whisper.
“More than okay,” Spencer responds before his lips are on yours.
You can hear Rossi cheering in the background as Hotch tries to shush them all but secretly is proud of you both. Having seen the way you gripped Spencer’s shirt when he saved you on that roof, he knew it was about time something would finally happen.
Pulling away from the kiss, you laugh lightly. “I take it the feeling is reciprocated then?” You question, and Spencer smiles.
“I’m never letting you go again.” He mumbles into you as you rest your head against his chest, hoping that promise will remain intact.
#okay so it was v long#but i really hope you enjoyed it!#spencer reid#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid imagines#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid au#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds imagines#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds angst#criminal minds oneshot#criminal minds x reader#matthew gray gubler imagine
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Gojo with a father in law like Claude from wmmap hcs pls? Let's go all in and make daddy op as fuck and hotter
Omg, anon, I think we talked past one another 😭😭 I thought you wanted a fullblown oneshot and meanwhile you only wanted hcs? I feel bad for miscommunicating now 😭😭
Anyway, a little note for everyone (which I have added to my nav now):
Currently, normal requests are closed.
Requests for my 400 follower milestone thing are open.
Headcanon requests or any kinds of ask (like, asking random stuff or telling me about something) are always open.
That being said and without further ado, let's embark on this journey!
I did change father-in-law to soon-to-be father-in-law because... wouldn't it be weird if Gojo didn't know his s/o's parent?
Summary: Gojo with a future father-in-law who looks very young for his age, is extremely good-looking, is very powerful and a TOP TIER DILF. (inspired by Claude de Alger Obelia)
You and Gojo have been dating for quite some time, about a year and several months.
Some people might argue that getting married after dating for 'only so long' would be too early
but Satoru knows he wants to spend his life with you already;
you have suffered enough because of his hectic schedule and almost never-ending absence, yet graced him with love and affection everytime he came home
So he plans to ask that question soon
Yes, he has prepared everything already, carefully planned it out
He also ordered the ring already; naturally, it's a custom-made one because he won't let you have anything less than perfect
So Satoru is on his way to pick up the ring at the jeweler's
He has time because you're out with a friend (?) anyway
You just said you'd go out with someone and he didn't bother asking with who
Anyway, he's in town and he spots you
He wants to surprise you and say hello... but who is that? The man linking arms with you? The one that makes you laugh so heartily?
"Noooo, DADDY! That would be soooo mean!" you laugh.
Daddy? But that was your nickname for Satoru-
For a moment, his trust falters and Satoru feels a sting in his chest
You wouldn't cheat on him right?
Nooooooooooooo BUT WHO IS THAT YOUNG AND GOOD-LOOKING MAN, TOUCHING YOU SO CASUALLY???
Haha... jk... unless it's true-
Satoru follows the two of you around, in stealth
He notices different things about the dude who's with you: That bastard also has blue eyes that seem to sparkle in any light... light-colored hair... and an immense presence of cursed energy that doesn't quite feel like cursed energy. Satoru feels slightly intimidated by being overpowered but he would never admit it.
So that was your type?! Like Satoru himself but with more time on his hands and probably even stronger! Horrible!! A love rival for sure.
Satoru's blue eyes spy the two of you going into some kind of café
DID YOU JUST KISS HIS CHEEK AFTER ORDERING? GASP.
Several cracks have stretched across Satoru's heart.
He returns home with the velvety box semi-carelessly tossed into the drawer next to the bed
Wasn't that enough evidence already? Still, he decides to text you. Benefit of the doubt.
Toru: Babeee, when are you home? Miss ya.
You: Idk yet, I'm at some place right now
Toru: Some place?
✔ Read 4:49 PM
You: Oh yeah, sorry, we were ordering some food and stuff hehe
By the way, you'll meet him later!! Be prepared!
Toru: Meet who? WHO IS IT???
✔ Read 5:46 PM
MEET HIM??? THE DUDE?? Hell no. Why would you or he want that?!
We're gonna fast forward because we don't wanna watch Satoru anxiously doing... stuff for an hour straight 👀
They meet.
"So this is the man my daughter gave her heart to? Not... what I expected... I get a playboy vibe but I'll respect my daughter's choice, I suppose," the man, who is watching Satoru with blazing blue eyes, comments
Wait wha-
DAUGHTER??
"Toruuuuu, meet my Daddy!" - now it all makes sense. It was not a nickname but a title 💀💀
This man, with the humonguous amount of cursed energy, is your FATHER?
For the first time in a while, the mighty Gojo Satoru is rendered speechless
The meeting is very awkward to say the least and Satoru is sure your father does NOT have a good 'first' impression of him
After saying goodbye to your dad, Satoru confronts you and confesses his deeds, how he saw you and how his trust faltered for a moment
You reassure him you'd never leave him but you can't help but laugh
Satoru's pout prompts you to peck his lips, it had to be done
It's safe to say that Satoru would spend a looooooot of time to get into your dad's good graces because Daddy's princess deserves the best and only the best
#nie answers#anon#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo#gojo satoru headcanons#gojo headcanons#jjk gojo#jujutsu kaisen gojo#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons
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Harry taking care of you when you’re ill
A/n: thought I would write a quick little drabble, because I have a cold and I wish H was here to take care of me! Not proofread, pls don’t copy my work, notes would be much appreciated 🤍
Warnings: just some fluffy fluff
You woke up feeling absolutely terrible, you had a runny nose and sore throat, your sinuses were killing you and to top it all of the other side of the bed was cold because Harry was long gone, having to get up at the crack of dawn to get to the studio.
You didn’t want to move out of your spot, but you really needed to pee and decided you really didn’t want to wet the bed. Moving through to the bathroom you caught yourself in the mirror, your eyes were puffy, nose a bright shade of red, you face a little pale. You groaned you always hated getting colds, having to breathe out of your mouth because your nose was blocked, and food never really tasted the same at times like this.
After peeing, and blowing your nose and brushing your teeth, you decide to take a quick shower to slight soothe your now aching muscles, once you finished you put in a pair of Harry sweats and a jumper of his, drying the hair the best you could with the towel then plopping down on the bed once again. You really wanted a hug from him right now, but the smell of his cologne and the comfort of cuddling his pillow would have to do until he got back.
A little while later you receive a message from him
H ♥️: ‘Hey baby, how are you on this fine day? X
Y/n: I’m okay, I have a cold so I think I’m going to stay in bed all day, how’s the album coming along? X
H ♥️: are you sure your okay, I can leave early if you want me to, don’t want you suffering alone all day. X
Y/n: no honestly bub it’s okay, I’m sure I’ll be able to survive a few more hours without you. X
You smile because you knew he would literally drop everything to come home and take care of you, even if it was just a little cold.
H ♥️: okay, make sure you eat and get plenty of fluids down you, there’s some medicine in the cupboard aswell, I’ll be back before you know it, and to answer you last question the albums coming on great, can’t wait to show you it, I love you baby! X
Harry was a bit concerned for his girl, he knew that you would be fine, but he didn’t like the thought of you being by yourself all day, he knew he would have to try to push it to the back of his head, cause otherwise he would get absolutely no work done.
Y/n: Well I for one can’t wait to hear it, and yes I will make sure I eat and drink lots, I love you too H. X
After your conversation you decided to go and get some toast feeling like that was the only thing you could handle right now and some fresh orange juice, you go back up stairs after grabbing a couple of bottles of water, switching on a Netflix series trying to get comfortable.
This is how you spent most of the day, the more time that passed the more you missed Harry, you had been going hot and cold at various points, you swear you had sneezed about 10 time last in the past half hour, and you even started to feel a bit nauseous even after doing what Harry said. You took some medicine a couple of hours ago but that didn’t really do anything and you couldn’t have any more for a while, the tissue box on your bedside table always slowly dwindling down, you were starting to get frustrated now, all you wanted was to be comfy for more than 5 minutes, but your body wasn’t having any of it.
When Harry crept through the door, thinking you might have fallen asleep he was hugely mistaken, you had the duvet cocooned around yourself so only your face was visible, your lips in a big pout and your little red nose ‘oh baby’ he said making you spin your head round only noticing he was stood in the door with a bag in his hands only after he said those words, you sighed in relief fishing your hands from the duvet and then making grabby hands for him.
He gladly made his way over to you, putting the bag down along the way, he unwrapped the duvet a bit so he could properly hug you ‘I missed you today bub’, you sniffled out.
‘I missed you too baby, let me check your temperature and make sure you don’t have a fever yeah’ he quickly went to the bathroom to get the thermometer before returning to you, turning it on and placing it in your mouth.
‘Keep still for a minute angel’ he gently stroked your cheek, noticed they your face was a bit paler than usual.
Once the thermometer beeped he checked it ‘not looking bad baby, you don’t have a fever at least’ he smiles at you ‘oh I nearly forgot’, he reached down towards the bag before spilling the contents onto the bed, there was vapour rub, your favourite movie, some soup and snacks that your mum used to get you if you were ill when you were little, some more medicine and a box of tissues.
You smile a wide smile, your dimples nearly popping ‘Thankyou soo much bub, your the bestest’.
‘That’s okay angel, anything for my girl’
He leans down, his eyes on your lips, in which you abruptly stop him ‘I don’t want you to get sick too’
‘Well baby, I’ve taken the next few days off to take care of you, but if I have to get sick in order to kiss you then we will just have to have a cold together’
He says not even giving you chance to respond as he kisses your lips, you kiss back with all the energy you have at this point, truly grateful for your loving boyfriend.
After a while you two pull away, ‘you know you would have made and excellent doctor’ she states out of the blue.
‘You think baby, in fact I think Doctor Styles has a nice ring to it don’t you think’ he smiles down making you chuckle.
After a while both you and Harry were settled down in bed in your pyjamas, he warmed up the soup and made you some tea, and you surprisingly didn’t feel nauseous after eating it, he then took the task of putting vapour rub on your chest even though you told him you could do it yourself, but he insisted. You felt a lot better, and it made Harry happy seeing a smile on your face. You were watching your favourite movie as you were laid on Harry’s warm chest, the duvet wrapped round both your bodies, you finally felt comfortable for the first time today and not in need to shuffle around or constantly grab a tissue.
Harry could see that you were trying to fight the sleep trying to take over your body ‘go to sleep baby, I’ve got you’ you instantly complied, closing your eyes, wrapping your arms tighter around him, his hands soothingly rubbing up and down your back.
‘I love you bub’ you say on the brink of sleep
I love you to the moon and back angel’
#harry styles#harry styles fluff#harry styles fluff imagine#harry styles imagine#harrystylesisgolden#love harrystyles#harry styles x reader#harry styles one shot#fine line#harry styles smut#harry styles soft#harry styles smut imagine#harries#harry styles cute#cute harry#harry is amazing#hs fic#harry is adorable#harry imagine#boyfriend!harry#loveharry
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This Isn’t Goodbye (August Walker x Reader)
Warnings: a shit ton of angst, swearing, detailed mentions of injury, blood & death
A/N: First of all, I am so incredibly sorry for this. I’m pretty sure this is the most-angsty and saddest thing I’ve written to date. Secondly, I’m sorry.
Buy Me a Coffee
Heights have never been a favourite of yours, that accompanied with your fear of flying makes your current predicament even more terrifying. August sits by your side, one hand clutched tightly in your own, giving you a reassuring squeeze every time you inhale sharply; and in his other hand is the detonator. His ongoing task strikes a wave of nausea and fear through you whenever you think about it. Yet, somewhere deep down you know his heart is in the right place. The day he told you his plans, you had promised to love him regardless of his actions – although you oftentimes question said actions and his reasonings, you still love him with the entirety of your heart.
Trying your hardest not to look outside of the open helicopter doors down to the ground very far below, you distract yourself by twisting your wedding band around your finger with your thumb. August catches onto the movement, squeezing your hand just that slightest bit tighter.
“Hey, when this is over, we can go home.” Your eyes meet glistening pools of blue with a hint of brown as you lock onto his gaze. “No more travelling. No more violence. No more running. I promise.” The sincerity in his words and in his eyes makes you believe every syllable that leaves his mouth. “And you will want for nothing.” Very rarely did August show caring or loving emotions in front of others, so hearing him speak in such a way creates a flutter in your chest and a warmth in your cheeks.
For the first time since the helicopter took off from the medical camp in Kashmir, you feel somewhat at ease.
“I think I like the sound of finally settling down.” A soft grin spreads across August’s face at your confession. “Maybe a dog.” The grin turns into a chuckle and a playful roll of his eyes. “Maybe a few kids?” The excitement in your voice is undeniable and it takes him aback, this is the first time that the topic of children has been breached since your relationship began so many years ago.
“You want kids? With me?” There is clear anxiety in his voice as he processes your question. Yes, he had thought of you having children, of course. But he never imagined that you would want the same thing.
“Of course, August. Why wouldn’t I want a mini-you running amok, keeping me on my toes?”
The smile spreading across his face, reaching his eyes, triggers your own facial expression to mirror his as he lifts your hand to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to your knuckles.
August’s lips linger delicately on your skin as you both revel in the realisation that in the near future, you could be parents. Yet, your moment of bliss is soon interrupted by the helicopter veering dangerously to the right. Even strapped in by your seatbelt you need to hold onto the wall of the fuselage and to the seat on which you sit to keep yourself steady, both yours and August’s hands disconnect to support yourselves. In your peripheral vision you catch a glance at the falling payload as it falls to the water far below. As the aircraft levels itself, August unfastens his seatbelt, moving across you to glance upwards through the open door.
“Fuck!” His outburst startles you as he returns to his seat, not hesitating to reach behind you to uncover a machine gun, at which your heart falters and stomach lurches.
“August, no.”
“It’s Hunt, he-“
“August, please.” You see the muscle in his jaw flex as he watches you, seeing your skin pale from panic, unsettles him. Without further question he places the weapon back where he found it, recovering it with the tarp. “Thank you.” Your words are quiet, but August hears them as clear as day, making his heart ache at your fear – a result of his own actions.
Hunt continues to pursue your aircraft, nearly colliding with you on occasion. Intermittently, August barks orders at the pilot – any attempt to get so far ahead of Hunt that he cannot catch up to you. In the minutes, in which you are targeted by the IMF spy, your husband refuses to let go of your hand which he grips in a bone-crunching hold. His own fear does nothing to ease your own, but you sense that that fear is not only for himself, but for you too. As you reach the summit of the mountains, August catches your gaze, an apologetic expression on his face, unshed tears forming in his eyes.
“If we don’t make it out of this, just know I love you.” He barely chokes out his words, words that are laced with regret. “And I am so sorry that I dragged you into this.” Tears slowly escape his eyes as he keeps his attention directed on you.
“Augu-“
When you rouse from unconsciousness, you find yourself lying on the hard, damp ground. You try to move, but every inch of your body flares with unbearable pain. Yet with the little movement you can muster in your head and neck, you are able to assess the irreparable damage caused from the crash. There is a dangerous amount of blood pooling around your body, soaking into your clothes and tainting your skin. But the most horrifying of it all, is the metal shrapnel protruding from your stomach – you have no energy to scream or to cry, your mind focusing solely on remembering your husband’s face and voice, in what you know are your last moments.
“Y/N?” The sound of August’s voice cuts through the fogginess and registers in your brain as he calls for you. “Y/N!” There is a change in his tone as you can barely distinguish the sound of heavy, running footsteps. “Shit! No, no, no, no, no.”
August falls next to you on his knees, his hands immediately putting pressure onto your stomach. “Y/N, can you hear me?”
With the energy you can muster to move, you nod once, the movement is barely detectable, but August acknowledges it regardless. “I’m not going to let you die. You can’t die.” His voice is raw with emotion, fear dripping from every word.
“I love you.” Your profession of love is hardly audible as blood tints your lips, your skin losing its colour quickly.
“No, don’t you dare. You are not dying.”
“Baby.” The way in which you speak the endearment has August slumping in defeat, removing the pressure from your abdomen and then discarding his gloves. He moves carefully to take your face in his bloody palms, the crimson having soaked through the material of his soiled gloves.
Seeing your husband broken like this triggers slow tears to fall from your eyes, tears which August brushes away delicately with his thumbs. Even your blinking has become lethargic as you fight to give him a soft smile.
“I love you, August.” You say the words slowly, never breaking eye contact as he leans over your body. Tears pour down his cheeks, something you thought you would never see – in all the time you have been together, you have never seen August cry.
“Don’t leave me.”
“This isn’t goodbye, my love.”
Pressing his forehead against your own he tries to fight the sobs that threaten to escape him, trying his hardest to compose himself for you, to ease your suffering just by a little.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I am so so sorry. This is all my fault, I promised you a normal life, I promised a family. Forgive me.”
“T-there is n-nothing to forgive. I l-love y-you.” A cough tears through your chest, more blood blossoming on your lips and coating your teeth. “I n-need to hear you s-say it back, pl-please.”
He knows he cannot deny you such a simple request, yet the three words you long to hear no longer fill him with joy and love, but dread. This will be the last time you hear him speak these words, words that mean so much.
“I love you.” As soon as the words leave his lips, you let out a short gasp of air as you smile, just as August presses a hard kiss to your forehead. “I love you with all I possess.” He professes his love again, this time following it with a kiss to your chapped lips. The metallic taste of your blood reaches his lips, and it takes everything within him not to heave.
Moving away from you, August is met with your empty, glossed-over eyes. Your chest is completely still as an anguished yell rips through him. Taking your cold, unmoving hand within his own, August breaks down.
His mission forgotten, now meaningless, August Walker lets Ethan Hunt take him back to the CIA, willing to confess to all offences and sins, on the condition that he can lay his wife to rest.
They can put him through anything but nothing can be a worse punishment than living without her.
Henry Cavill Taglist
@beck07990
#august walker x reader#august walker#august walker imagine#august x reader#henry cavill#henry cavill x reader#henry cavill imagine
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Between Two Lungs (One Shot)
A/N: Hello dears, so here it is the infamous fic I’ve been writing. I really hope this fullfils my dream of crushing your hearts once again and that you have a fun time agonizing over this final choice. Because yes, I’ve made this a multiending fic...As always, remember to tell me what you think, is it something you want me to keep doing for other fics? Also, how did you feel after this? pls let me know. Also i made this PLAYLIST if you want to add some feeling to this while reading... Enjoy!
Lena Luthor x R/Hanahaki AU//Word Count: 3,464
-------------------------------------------------
It is possible to die of a broken heart.
You look it up somewhere in the internet. It's similar to a heart attack, caused by a very strong and emotionally stressful event. The death of a loved one, a breakup, a betrayal. It's treatable and rarely fatal. Following the recommendations of your doctor, you can make a full recovery within weeks. Still, it is possible to die of it.
You don't have a broken heart. You wish you had one. Because love, the one only you feel, is growing inside of you and it is much worse than that.
Thankfully, compared to others your condition it's not as painful as it could be.
You have heard about people with roses inside them, how their thorns puncture their pharynges with every breath they take. Others don't get flowers. They get apple or cherry trees with their fruits pouring juice inside their lungs and out of their mouths. Some others have pines and spruces, with cones constricting their organs and rib-cages until they bones break.
So you look at the small white petal that lays in your hand and think that, in your case, it is something almost magnanimous.
Plumerias have no thorns and, even though some can be a bit thick, their branches are soft enough to bend around your heart and lungs without much trouble. Their petals, small and delicate, rise easily up your throat without lacerating it in a coughing fit.
Maybe, you want to think in a very optimist way, if you can keep that love from growing further, you won't have to suffer through it.
Maybe.
So you prescribe for your own heart solitude and abstinence.
The first one is the easiest.
You tell your friends you are sick and need some time to recover. Most of them get worried as they don't know yet what illness has fallen upon you in these troublesome times.
"You know, If you wanted, I could get you a full medical examination." Alex offers with a raised eyebrow, giving you the look of the always concerned big sister.
"Thanks, but it's alright." You assure them with a smile. "I was thinking about spending some time at home anyway."
After a lot of questions you manage to dodge in the end, they decide there's no reason to doubt your intentions. So they leave you to your own devices.
Homemade remedies, or herbicides depending on who you ask, seem to help as you spend your days at home. Drinking some salt water with lemon in the morning, or a couple of vinegar tablespoons in a cup of tea before going to bed. They don't taste that bad once you get used to the flavor and these help you ease the new bitterness that you taste in the back of your throat.
The second is a bit harder.
You have to stop yourself from dreaming her, thinking her, missing her.
She has texted you a few times already, wanting to know how you're doing and offering her help if you don't feel like you're doing okay on your own. You handle it as best as you can. You text back, consistently enough and with measured time and words, so you don't raise any red flags. When you don't seem to answer she calls, but just thinking about hearing her voice makes your chest hurt a little.
You never answer. She doesn't try to call again. You spit your first handful of flowers after that.
It's all fine, you lie to yourself, at least until the pain reaches your insides and white petals come out of you mouth dappled in red.
"You need to tell her." Kara says softly as she pats your back after another coughing fit.
You cover your mouth with your hand, making sure there are no signs of blood or petals as you tight it into a fist. "Tell who what?"
"Tell Lena about the flowers." She sighs when she fells you freeze under her touch. "Sorry. Alex told me if I could get a clear shot at your lungs maybe we could figure out how to help. I didn't expect it to be... well, flowers."
It shouldn't come as a surprise to you but you are still amazed at how easy it is to forget Kara has x-ray vision when she's not wearing her suit. With or without it, she's still the same caring and protective person you have always known. It also explains why she has been so adamant about having lunch together, at least once a week, after your failed attempt at convincing her you were doing well after a month alone. You couldn't expect less from your best friend, you remind yourself as you catch your breath.
"How do you know it's her?" The taste is bitter as you swallow the rest of blood and petals in your mouth.
"It's plumerias, isn't it?" She rubs your back again as you regain you posture. "They are her favorites."
There are a couple of red tainted petals in your palm when you open your hand. "Yeah, they are."
Kara looks at you and you see something in her you don't think you have ever seen before in the Girl of Steel. But you recognize it, because you feel the same way. Hopeless. Helpless. Powerless.
"(Y/N)." She says like she's already grieving. "It's spreading fast."
The easiest way to get ride of the disease is by removing its seed from your heart, the doctor says. No more than an hour in the operating room and your respiratory system would be as good as new. Common symptoms after the surgery can include aches between your shoulder blades, ribs, back of the neck or chest, weakness and hoarseness in your voice, and, in general, some memory loss and the inability to experiment intense or deep affection towards another person. Most of these stop shortly after you recover, except for the last one.
More experimental methods have been developed with the help of biotherapy. Experts in Japan are said to have reduced the spread of the flowers with other plants like kudzu or barberry, while someone in Europe has been using thrips to eat the plant and control its growth. It's like using maggots to eat your wounds, the doctor explains more enthusiastic than you feel.
You could, of course, try the simplest of things and confess your love.
It only takes to be loved in return for you to heal before any permanent damage is done. The seed that grows in your heart will almost instantly wither, the cough will purge the last of the flowers out of your lungs, and your recovery will last only a couple of weeks. You will breathe again.
But, if your love goes unrequited, you'll reach your fatal end in a matter of days. Doctors will give you a double dose of morphine or induce a coma trying to ease your pain. Flowers, fruits and cones bloom, branches and thorns grow. You convulse and gasp until your last breath when the biggest flowers come out of your mouth. All until your thorax is transformed, beautifully and violently, into a garden of flesh and blood.
Anyone who has seen it happen will tell you, how shocking it is to witness such a thing.
Whatever the case, this only serves to confirm what you already know. You can't be optimistic anymore.
You're dying and you will die, soon with flowers in your lungs or after many years with a loveless heart. Because this life and death of yours, you think, cannot be, shall not be, decided by a coin in the air.
And yet.
"It's flowers...in my lungs." You can almost tell which direction the flower stalks take inside your chest as the words form in your mouth.
"Oh." Lena says as she starts to fidget with her hands.
The anger, that had been growing inside her after weeks of vague replies and evasions, vanishes in her eyes the moment she understands what you're going through.
"Have you...talked to the other person?"
"No, not really. Not yet." You try not to lose your composure as you feel the flowers threatening to rise up your throat.
"Will you?" She asks.
You take a deep breath, feeling the gravity pull your already heavy heart down. "It's plumerias."
"Plumerias?" You can see the moment it dawns on Lena, and the look she gives you makes you wish again you could die of a broken heart instead.
"Miss Luthor, I'm sorry but the board meeting will start shortly."
Jess opens the door a second later and it gives you time to look at the other side and place your hand in your chest. As if that could possibly stop your heart and lungs from collapsing.
"Thank you, Jess. I'll be there." Lena dismisses her with a nod and looks again at you.
She doesn't say anything else and you feel a coughing fit building in your lungs. Stronger than you have ever felt it.
"(Y/N)!" She leaves her chair, running towards you.
You cover your mouth as your chest feels like a boxer is using it as a punching bag. I doesn't feel like it will end quick and when it finally does the only thing that remains is pain.
You thank the chair that holds you in place as you catch your breath.
"I'm fine. It's fine." You don't want her to see it, but she manages to catch a glimpse of the bloody petals that cover your palm once you recover.
"No, it's not, (Y/N). You're dying and I-"
"It's not your fault." You cut her off, shaking your head and taking a little napkin from you pocket to clean yourself as best as you can.
The death, the break, the betrayal. You feel it all as worry and pity finally merge in her eyes. There's also guilt when she looks at you. It is there along with everything else she doesn't feel for you. So you don't want an apology, especially not from her, especially not like this.
"You're my friend and I just- I wanted you to know. I got my surgery already programmed."
"Surgery?" You watch her draw back a bit in surprise.
"I'll be fine." You lie again.
"(Y/N), I-"
"Miss Luthor, the board-"
"I know!" Lena snaps and, when she realizes the magnitude of her reaction, she retracts, taking a deep breath for herself before answering. "Sorry, yes. Do you think you could hold it for a minute?"
"You should go." You say with a small voice before any of them can say more. "The meeting, sounds important."
"(Y/N)..." The way she pronounces your name makes you want to be over with this already. You just can't stand it anymore.
"We'll talk later." You say. "We got time."
She wants to argue, you know, but you won't, can't, do it. Still, you pull a little smile for her.
"We'll talk later." She replies with a nod.
There will be time for another conversation. There will be time. There will be time. There will be time. You repeat it like a mantra to help you carry yourself out of her office.
Everything else after that passes like a blur.
You know you reach the front door of the building, with the voice of the receptionist behind your back offering to call for help. You stumble on the sidewalk trying to hold onto light poles and signposts to keep yourself from falling. You clutch your hand in your chest as the pain reaches its peak. Flowers come pouring out of your mouth and you gasp for air as you finally fall.
You're delirious by the time you land on the hospital bed.
Many faces come and go then, doctors, nurses, friends, ghosts, both the living and the death. The only constants are your dying gasps and the painful beating of your heart until the morphine does its work. It helps you see, with certain clarity the only face that can make a difference.
"You listen to me, alright? I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier." You open your heavy lids at the sound of her voice, and you see those emerald eyes for what could be the last time. "I love you, (Y/N), please, I love you."
You hear her words, or you don't, or it is simply to late to care anymore. The coin is in the air and there's no more time.
***
☞ You let yourself drift into darkness as the plumerias are pulled to a better light. The garden is gone and what is left behind is only an empty carcass. You cannot stand the emptiness and your heart does what it should have done from the beginning. It breaks and breaks and breaks...
***
☞ Your mind tries to grasp her words but you find your heart too weak to keep a hold of them. So you let them pass through like a shadow. No need for them anymore as the anesthesia and the scalpel give you a break from all this suffering. There will be no flowers and it is, truly, not as bad as it could be...
***
☞ Her words suddenly hit you in their full meaning and your mind does its best to keep and save them into your heart. Even through branches and petals, it has the effect of an echo chamber, repeating those words like a healing prayer. I love you. I love you. I love you...
#Between Two Lungs#One shot#lena luthor#lena luthor x reader#lena luthor imagine#lena luthor imagines#lena luthor x you#lena x reader#lena x you
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