#please tell me. the new layout Upsets Me <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[headslikekites]

NOOOOOO the extension I got to make the dashboard not look like shit stopped working :pensive:

[justabigassnerd]

Summer of Love pt. 3

Pairing - Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x reader

Word count - 6,041

Warnings - mentions of injuries and medication, little pinch of angst, fluff, mentions of Goose and Carole

Summary - while in the final stages of recovery after a mission gone wrong, Bradley signs himself up to work at a summer camp just for something to do since Maverick has barred him from Navy work for the time being. meanwhile, you're in between jobs and figure working at a summer camp is some good experience. you meet Bradley and experience a romance you could've never expected (along with some very nosy kids)

Summer of Love masterlist

A/N - wow I'm back with a new part of Summer of Love?? this was long overdue and I kinda went off on one here so I really hope I did this series some justice with the newest part. there's actually a part in here based off something that legitimately happened to me when I worked at a summer camp in America so there's a fun fact for ya :). anyway I won't ramble, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback, and enjoy!!!

Waking up to the sound of your alarm would normally fill you with a sense of dread at having to face a day of work, but since arriving at camp your excitement levels had been climbing with each waking moment. Today it felt like they were at an all-time high because today was finally the day that the children would arrive and camp would begin properly. You get up and change before making your way over to the dining hall to have some breakfast, greeting all your friends as you join them at the table.

“How are you guys feeling about the fact camp is going to be in full swing by tonight?” Ella asks, a clear excitement in her voice as she glances at each of you in turn, all of you nodding with wide smiles.

“I can’t wait for it to get started!” You reply, practically grinning ear to ear with excitement.

“It’s going to be one hell of an experience.” Bradley then says, his smile matching yours as the group of you continue to talk, trying to predict what the next two months could hold for you all until Kerry stands at the front of the room and addresses you all.

“Alright, you guys! As you are all aware, the kids will be arriving this afternoon so take the morning to make sure your cabins are spotless and welcoming for when the children and their parents arrive so they can feel settled the moment they arrive.” Kerry announces, looking around the room at all the excited members of staff who were eagerly anticipating the official start of the camp session.

After Kerry had finished explaining what would transpire when the children began to arrive as well as telling you what time they were due to arrive, you were all dismissed to go and finish preparing your cabins for the arrival of the kids.

You arrive back at your cabin and quickly get to work, writing out little notes for each girl assigned to your cabin and placing one on each of the beds in the cabin so the girls have a bed assigned but you weren’t going to be upset if they wanted to swap with someone else. As long as it was agreed upon and caused no arguments, you were happy for the girls to make their experience as good as possible in their own way.

Once you’ve placed the notes down on the beds, you do a sweep of the whole cabin, getting rid of any outside dirt that may have snuck its way in before wiping down all the bedside tables to rid them of dust that had settled over time. When you were satisfied that your cabin was completely tidy and looked welcoming enough, you got changed into the correct uniform you needed to be wearing for when the children arrived and made your way over to the staff lounge to relax and hang out with your friends before lunch.

Meanwhile, across the camp, Bradley was making similar preparations for his cabin. Unlike you, Bradley had not made any notes or anything similar to put on the beds. He had chosen to roughly sketch out a layout of the cabin and write names on each of the four beds in the cabin but he wasn’t going to put up much of a fight if they wanted to switch around. All Bradley could hope for was that none of the boys in his cabin had heavy gear that they would ask for a hand with. While Bradley had remembered to take his medication this time, his back was still not up to any heavy lifting tasks just yet. When Bradley was satisfied the cabin was clean after thoroughly cleaning as if he were back in the naval academy awaiting a room inspection, he changed into the appropriate uniform. He then made his way to the staff lounge as you had done.

“Hey, Bradley.” You greet him warmly the moment you notice him enter the room, smiling up at him as he crosses the room to sit on the sofa with you.

“Hey, y/n. Cabin all sorted?” Bradley asks with a smile, easing himself back against the sofa cushions as you nod your head.

“I think so. All it needs now is some campers. Are you all sorted?” You reply, smiling softly at Bradley as he mirrors your nod.

“Yeah, all sorted.” He says, smiling as you begin to talk about how excited you were for camp to start properly. Bradley thought you had the cutest smile, and that it was so cute seeing you so excited for this.

Before Bradley could continue his conversation with you, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he tilted his head slightly in confusion when he saw Maverick’s name displayed across his phone for a Facetime call.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve got to take this really quick.” Bradley excuses himself apologetically, grabbing his headphones from his locker and plugging them into his phone before sitting out on the porch and picking up the call.

“Hey, Mav.” He greets his godfather with a small smile.

“Hey, kid. I remembered you saying that camp officially starts this afternoon so I figured I’d get a last-minute call in before you’re too busy.” Maverick starts before Penny crosses to stand behind him, leaning over his shoulder so Bradley can see her.

“He means I reminded him.” She says, eliciting a chuckle from Bradley as she moves off camera again to continue with what she is doing.

“How’s things back home?” Bradley asks, partially curious as to how things at Top Gun have been, and partially trying to deal with his fear of missing out.

“It’s good. Pretty quiet without you and Hangman butting heads that’s for sure. But you know the Daggers, they’re able to keep me on my toes.” Maverick admits with a soft chuckle as he thinks back to all the shenanigans he’s had to put up with since becoming Captain of the Dagger Squadron.

“I never thought I’d say this, but I sort of miss butting heads with Jake. But don’t tell him I said that, his ego doesn’t need any more boosts, he gets enough from the women at the Hard Deck.” Bradley says, finding himself admitting something he thought he’d die before saying out loud.

“Your secret is safe with me Bradley. I will be honest, we do all miss you here. I wish nothing more than for you to be flying with us but I know I need to stick to my guns and let you finish up your recovery before you come back.” Maverick says, a solemn expression crossing his face as Bradley nods his head sadly.

“I understand, Mav.” Bradley says, sadness tugging lightly at his heart as he thinks of everything he is missing back in San Diego. He knew coming to work at a summer camp was his idea, and he was yet to have any regrets about it. But his heart still longed to be up in the air, flying with his friends and doing his duty.

“Your back isn’t giving you too much trouble is it?” Maverick asks quietly as if people were potentially listening in to their conversation. Bradley could only bring himself to shake his head at Maverick’s question, not trusting his voice enough to convince his godfather that his back wasn’t troubling him.

“Hey, Bradley. I just thought I’d let you know we’re heading over for lunch so you can come and join us whenever you’re ready. But don’t rush though. Finish your call whenever.” Bradley is shaken out of his pity party thoughts by your soft voice and gentle hand on his shoulder, leaning down and speaking softly so as not to cause too much of a ruckus while he’s on the phone before offering him a small smile when he looked up at you and then leaving the porch and crossing to the dining hall, Bradley’s gaze following you the whole way.

“Who was that?” Maverick’s voice snaps Bradley back to reality, feeling a slight blush cover his cheeks at being caught out.

“It was… uh- y/n.” Bradley stumbles over his words, only serving to deepen his blush as he watches Maverick raise an eyebrow.

“I see. Is y/n your girlfriend?” Maverick asks, watching and fighting back a laugh when Bradley’s eyes widen.

“No. She’s a friend who happens to be a girl. That’s it.” Bradley defends himself, trying to hide his feelings as Maverick hums in amusement, clearly not believing Bradley’s adamant denial of his feelings.

“Pete, leave Bradley alone.” Penny scolds in the background, shooting Maverick a look when he glances away from his phone to look at her, warning him to behave.

“Look Mav, I should get going if I want to get lunch before the kids arrive.” Bradley says, glancing over at the dining hall as he feels his stomach grumble at the thought of food.

“Yes, of course. Have a good time, kid. Message us when you can and I’ll keep you up to date on what the Daggers get up to.” Maverick says, smiling as he and Bradley bid each other goodbye before ending the call. Bradley pulls his headphones out with a sigh and moves to stand up, wincing when his back twinges in pain before shoving his phone back in his locker and crossing to the dining hall. He quickly plates up some food once he enters before scanning the room, unable to stop the smile from covering his face when he sees you sat with your friends, one seat free for him.

“Hey guys.” Bradley greets everyone at the table as he sits down, placing his plate down in front of him and digging in.

“Oh, Bradley you didn’t need to rush your call if you weren’t done I could’ve plated some stuff up for you.” You say apologetically, feeling bad that he ended his call so soon after you and the others came up for lunch.

“Don’t worry about it, Mav isn’t one for long calls anyway so we probably would’ve finished the call by now anyway.” Bradley says with a shrug, placing his fork down and lifting the cup of water to his lips.

“Mav? Who names their kid that?” Cameron asks, confused, glancing over at Bradley who quickly realises his slight error.

“My godfather is in the Navy, same as me. Mav is short for Maverick. That’s his callsign.” Bradley clarifies, receiving nods of understanding in response.

“Wait so if you’re in the Navy too, that means you must have a fancy callsign too. What is it then?” Nathan asks, causing a clamour of people wanting to know Bradley’s callsign as he rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“I’ve got enough people calling me by my callsign in my day-to-day life I don’t need to add you guys into it as well. It’s staying a secret sorry guys.” Bradley shrugs with a grin as everyone jokingly groans at the lack of a callsign reveal. As you finish up your lunch together, you are suddenly aware that it’s only a matter of time before the children start to arrive so with one last good luck to each other, you leave the dining hall and head your separate ways to your cabins to await the arrival of your campers.

You wait with a smile inside your cabin, you had the door propped open so parents and children alike could see that you were inside as you busied yourself with last-minute adjustments so you didn’t look like you were just sitting around bored.

“Hello?” You hear a voice come from behind you, making you turn to face the owner of the voice, seeing two parents and their daughter between them.

“Hello, it’s so nice to meet you! What’s your name?” You greet the three happily, welcoming them into the cabin and addressing the young girl who glances down at the floor, clearly shy.

“I’m Zoe.” She says quietly, fidgeting with the hair tie on her wrist.

“Hi Zoe, I’m y/n and I’m going to be your counsellor for the summer. Would you like to find the bed with your name on it?” You introduce yourself with a gentle smile before offering her something to do as she nods, creeping towards each of the beds in turn until she eventually points out the bed with her name card on it.

“Look at that Zo, you’ve got a great view of the lake isn’t that amazing?” Her dad states, glancing out the window that sat beside her bed, wrapping his arm around his daughter and looking at the view with her.

“It’s Zoe’s first time here so she’s a little nervous since it’s her first time spending a good chunk of time away from home.” Zoe’s mother sidles up alongside you to mumble and you turn to face her.

“That is completely understandable. My job is to make sure she has a great time here.” You say with a nod, understanding her potential homesickness and shyness in a new place. You then help get her bags in before Zoe’s parents bid her goodbye, leaving you to help her unpack her things with the space she has. You made small talk with Zoe, asking her about some of the activities she had signed up for and told her about how friendly the counsellors running those activities were so she felt less nervous about them. Soon another girl entered the cabin with her parents trailing behind.

“Hi, I’m Julia!” The girl introduces herself to both you and Zoe, leading her parents into the cabin and quickly locating the bed with her name on it as if she’d done it before.

“Wow, you knew to look for the name card, guess I’m not the first one to have tried it, huh?” You joke with a laugh as Julia’s parents set her bags down by her bed.

“This is my second summer here, and my last counsellor did the same thing so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to check.” Julia says with a smile as she instantly starts to unpack her belongings.

“Well, I’m y/n and I’ll be your counsellor for the summer.” You introduce yourself to the young girl as she grins over at you. Julia’s parents mingle for a few more minutes, talking to you as Julia starts to make conversation with Zoe, helping her to break out of her shell a little as she shares some of her spare fabrics to make curtains for the windows as you smile at the interactions. Julia’s parents then said goodbye to their daughter who quickly hugged them goodbye before returning to her conversation with Zoe. Soon your last two girls arrived at the same time with their parents in tow.

“You two must be Louisa and Megan. I’m y/n, your counsellor.” You introduce yourself to the girls as you help their parents bring their bags into the cabin.

“It’s nice to meet you.” The two girls chirp in tandem, smiling and crossing to their beds and starting to unpack, introducing themselves to the others as their parents join you.

“These two have been best friends since birth. And they’ve been coming here since we found out about this camp so they definitely know how it works around here.” The woman who introduces herself as Louisa’s mother says as she watches her daughter happily interacting with her new cabinmates.

“They definitely look like they know what they’re doing.” You muse as you watch the two girls giving advice and helping Zoe and Julia set up their makeshift curtains before doing the same with the window nearest their beds before turning to you.

“Hey, y/n. Do you want some fabric for this little window here? That way you can have some privacy when you’re in your area of the cabin.” Megan asks, holding up some fabric as you glance from it to the little window that sits in the wall separating your cabin area from the girls.

“That’s a great idea, Megan. We can make them into little curtains so whenever we’re in here during the day I can have them open to keep an eye on you all.” You joke, eliciting giggles from all the girls as the parents chuckle too.

“Well, I guess we should be off then.” Both Megan and Louisa’s parents say, getting hugs from their children before bidding everyone goodbye and then heading out of the cabin to begin their journey home.

After they leave, you turn to your campers, a smile on your face as you watch them helping each other unpack and decorate the cabin.

“Alright girls, how about we get to know each other a little while we decorate? I know Megan and Louisa know each other but there’s no harm in being friends with your whole cabin is there? Why don’t we go around and everyone can introduce themself with their name and an activity they’re excited for.” You say, addressing each of the girls as they all nod glancing around each other, introducing themselves by name and naming an activity they’re excited for. Zoe was excited to learn how to waterski, Louisa was excited to horse ride, Megan was excited to audition for the camp musical, and Julia was excited to do some arts and crafts. It made you happy to hear how excited these girls were for the various activities the camp had to offer. You sat with the girls as they helped you make curtains out of the fabric Megan gave to you and once they were made you entered your part of the cabin and hung it up in the window, pulling them back and tying them back so they were open and you could see into the girls area of the cabin.

“I don’t know about you guys but I think we have the best cabin ever.”

Meanwhile, over in Bradley’s cabin he was just greeting the parents of the last boy to arrive in his cabin, he had already greeted Nick, Tom, and Alex so by process of elimination it was Lucas who had just arrived. He greeted the parents with a shake of the hand before introducing himself to Lucas and pointed out his bed so he could start to unpack.

“I hate to be a bother but Lucas’ trunk is a little heavy, we had to cart it down here. Do you think you could give me a hand bringing it into the cabin?” Lucas’ dad asks, looking very apologetic for having to ask in the first place. Bradley knew he should say no, he could picture his doctor and Maverick screaming at him to not help but Bradley couldn’t bring himself to turn down the ask for help.

“Of course, we’ll take a handle each.” Bradley says with a smile, stepping outside the cabin to where the small wooden cart with the trunk on was sitting. Bradley took one of the handles in his hand while Lucas’ dad took the other. Upon lifting it, Bradley was relieved to find out it was nowhere near as heavy as he had anticipated it to be, in fact, he was sure he could’ve carried it himself, but he couldn’t ignore the throbbing pain in his back when he lifted it so he did his best to get it into the cabin as quickly as possible.

“There we go.” Lucas’ dad says as he and Bradley put the trunk down on the floor for Lucas to begin unpacking.

“That hardly seemed like a problem for you.” Lucas’ mum praises Bradley, smiling as Bradley shakes his head with a chuckle.

“I’m pretty sure the bag I brought was heavier than that.” Bradley says with a laugh as Lucas’ parents exchange a look and laugh.

“Well, we’ll leave Lucas in your capable hands then. Have a good time son.” Lucas’ dad says, bidding goodbye to his son who says a goodbye in response before focusing on unpacking and making his bed while chatting with the other three boys in his cabin. Bradley then decides to make the effort to get to know the boys who very clearly all knew each other already and so strikes up a conversation asking what they’re looking forward to doing. Unsurprisingly, Bradley soon found out that most of the boys were excited to work on their sports skills, mostly in soccer, which meant Bradley had to make sure he was the best instructor he could be to help the boys get to the skill level they’d like to. Bradley continues to chat with his campers for a while, helping them set up their areas until he clocks the time on his watch.

“Alright guys, we should head out to the assembly point.” He says, remembering that there was a meeting to welcome everyone to camp before everyone was given the assigned table that they had to sit at for breakfast and dinner while at lunch they could sit wherever they wanted. Bradley ushers his campers out of the cabin once they’re ready and they make their way to the assembly point, finding a place to sit and waiting as more and more people arrive and find somewhere to sit. Bradley saw you arrive with your campers in tow, you had brief eye contact and you offered him a small wave before one of your campers pointed out a place you could all sit so you then followed her to the free spot.

Soon, Kerry stood before you all and welcomed all the campers to the beginning of camp, which was met with excited cheers from the campers as some began to murmur excitedly amongst each other until Kerry quietened them down, her smile still wide and welcoming. When everyone is calmed down again, Kerry explains that she’s going to call out the table number, and then the people who are sitting at that table. After she says the names, the people who were called out can go and sit at their assigned table and wait for everyone else. You all wait patiently as Kerry calls out the numbers and names.

“On table twelve we have Bradley, y/n, Molly, Jamie, Sophia, Seb, Eve, and Kevin.” Kerry calls out your name and you stand up, making your way towards the dining hall with the other people at your table, unable to suppress your smile as Bradley walks up alongside you.

“Guess we’re tablemates now.” Bradley jokes, smiling as the eight of you enter the dining hall, locating the table displaying the number twelve.

“I suppose there are worse people to be grouped with.” You say with a smile, giggling as Bradley jokingly scoffs and rolls his eyes as you all sit down at your table, waiting for the rest of the camp to go to their tables.

When everyone is sat at their tables, Kerry announces how breakfast and dinner will function. Everyone will sit at their tables after the morning and afternoon meetings and will wait as the tables are released to get their food by row, and every table is responsible for cleaning up after themselves. With the rules now established, the tables are released row by row to go and plate up their meals. When your table is released, you make your way up to the hot food bar and plate up some dinner before returning to your table and digging into your food as the rest of your table slowly returns.

“All I’m saying is the Daggers would be so jealous of the food we have here. The food in the canteen isn’t nearly as good as this.” Bradley says after a mouthful of food, glancing over at you as you nod in agreement. Knowing your friends from back home would be jealous of the food you were being served.

“What is the Daggers?” Jamie asks, looking at Bradley curiously as he exchanges a look with you, clearly unprepared for such a question.

“I’m a naval aviator and the Daggers is the name of my squadron.” Bradley explains with a small smile, seeing how the kid's eyes light up when he reveals his job to them. He is then bombarded with questions from curious kids who want to know more. They all seem to love hearing some of Bradley’s stories, he made sure to only pick the appropriate ones, mostly about his training and teammates.

“My dad used to be an aviator, his callsign was Diesel. What’s your callsign?” Sophia asks, which once again has all eyes on Bradley as he chuckles.

“That’s staying a secret from everyone. Not even the other counsellors know my callsign. I get called it enough to earn a little break.” Bradley says, earning a wave of groans and pleads with the promise it would stay a secret between the table but Bradley sticks to his guns.

“Sorry guys, some things just stay secret.” Bradley grins as he lifts his cup of water to his lips before taking a sip as there’s yet another ripple of groans from the children. You then effortlessly switch the subject and ask the kids what kinds of activities they’ve signed up for and Bradley can’t help but admire how good you are with the children and how you hold conversation with them, listening to them as if their thoughts and opinions were the most important thing to you.

Before you knew it, dinner was over and everyone made their way into the hall that functioned as a small theatre and a gymnasium to watch some of the counsellors take part in the counsellor variety show, some singing, some doing silly dances with their friends, and more. You were happy to sit at the back of the room along with the other counsellors to watch and enjoy the show. When the show was finished Kerry took to the stage to dismiss you all to head back to your cabins for the night and you gathered up your four campers and walked back up to the cabin with them while Bradley found his four.

“Are you guys good to head back to the cabin yourselves? I have something I need to do.” Bradley says and once they nod he sends them off to the cabin, instructing them to get ready for bed before he gets back, as they leave, Bradley heads in the direction of the nurse’s lodge, grabbing his medication from the bag with his name on and taking it with a swig of water before shoving it away and making his way back to the cabin where he enters his area of the cabin and changes into a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms and one of his shirts from his Navy training days before throwing on his beloved Eagles sweatshirt over the top to counter the chill he felt in the cabin. Once he was ready and checked with the boys that they had gotten changed, he entered their area of the cabin and leaned up against the wall asking how they all were.

“We’re good. Hey, what’s going on with you and y/n? You two looked really close.” Nick asks, getting a murmur of agreement from the rest of the boys while Bradley fights back a blush he knows is coming.

“We’re friends. We’ve been friendly since we met at the start of counsellor orientation.” Bradley says, not missing how the campers exchange a knowing look.

“Sure… well, Louisa from y/n’s cabin was at my table and she noticed it too so I bet she’s going to ask her as well.” Alex says, making Bradley let out a soft sigh.

“Look, don’t drag y/n into anything. We’re just here to do our jobs and make sure you guys have a good summer. It’s hard to do that when kids are bugging you about things that aren’t true.” Bradley says, an overwhelming urge to protect you from the pestering campers leaping out without a second thought.

“You sound pretty protective there, Bradley. Sure it’s because y/n is just a friend?” Tom says making Bradley roll his eyes biting his tongue so he wouldn’t seem so defensive and add fuel to their fire. All he could hope was that your campers weren’t putting you through the same interrogation.

“y/n, we saw you and Bradley laughing and chatting during dinner. Do you have a crush on him?” Louisa asks as you’re perched on the end of Zoe’s bed, book in hand to read to them as per their request.

“What?” You ask with a laugh, feeling your cheeks growing hot at the sudden question.

“All of us saw it. You were laughing and chatting with him. You totally have a crush on him.” Julia pipes up, making you let out a breathy laugh.

“We’re just friends girls. Friends laugh and talk together, especially when you’re the only two adults at the table. Bradley’s a nice guy to talk with.” You defend yourself, picking what you believe to be the most believable excuses to say as your cheeks grow hotter. 

“Okay.” Megan says, all four girls exchanging a look as you open the book to the first chapter, focusing on the page to calm down before looking back up at the girls.

“Are you ready for me to start reading now?”

About forty-five minutes later, you were quietly sneaking out of your cabin after lights out. Usually, you’d be granted from ten to midnight to have off while a few other counsellors were on patrol to make sure the cabins were covered. But since it was the first night of camp, you only got an hour instead of two but you were more than okay with that. You just wanted to stargaze for a while. You made your way to a small slope in the ground near the dining hall, sitting down on the grass and looking up at the stars, a soft smile on your face as you searched for constellations.

“Room for one more?” You hear about five minutes into stargazing and you look up to see Bradley smiling down at you.

“Of course.” You say with a smile, patting the grass next to you and waiting for Bradley to sit down, fighting the urge to raise your eyebrow at the smallest hiss of pain that escaped his lips as he sat down. Once he’s sat down, you both focus your gaze on the stars, watching them shine up in the darkened sky. You felt slightly awkward with Bradley sat alongside you after the questioning you received from your campers. They had hit the nail on the head with your crush on the tall aviator, but you had no clue how he felt about you and you treasured the newfound friendship with Bradley that you were more than willing to lock your feelings away to prevent heartbreak. After a brief silence, you clear your throat slightly and speak up.

“So you’re really not going to tell anyone your callsign? Not even the kids?” You ask with a smile as you glance over at Bradley who lets out a small breathy chuckle.

“I don’t think my ego could handle my callsign being public knowledge among the campers. It’s not exactly a callsign that strikes fear into the hearts of people.” Bradley says, explaining his reasoning and you nod in understanding.

“That’s okay. I didn’t mean to make it seem like you had to tell anyone if you didn’t want to.” You apologise, shifting your gaze back to the night sky as Bradley mirrors your actions before a comfortable silence falls over the two of you.

“Rooster.” Bradley says quietly after a brief silence.

“What was that?” You ask, turning to look at Bradley who somehow seemed perfectly illuminated under the moonlight.

“My callsign, it’s Rooster.” Bradley then says, shifting his gaze to meet yours, a shy smile appearing on his face.

“Rooster… I like it. What earned you that callsign?” You ask curiously, immediately wondering if you overstepped judging by Bradley’s expression and were prepping an apology before he spoke up.

“My dad’s callsign was Goose so I wanted to keep my callsign avian. Duck or Chicken probably weren’t the best choices so I ended up with Rooster. It’s not the most terrifying of callsigns but it’s good enough for me.” Bradley explains, glancing back up at the stars, wondering if his parents were up there together watching down on him as you listen carefully to his words.

“I think it’s lovely you wanted a callsign that could connect to your dad’s. Honestly, anyone who thinks that Rooster isn’t a scary callsign clearly has never been around a rooster because those things are scary.” You say, letting out a small laugh at the end of your sentence as Bradley cracks a smile of his own.

“So, is that why you didn’t want anyone to know? Because you’re worried it’s not considered cool enough?” You ask softly, curious as to whether that’s the only reason he won’t tell anyone.

“Well, there’s that. Then there’s the fact that more people in my life call me by my callsign instead of my actual name. I just want time to be Bradley.” He admits, gaze briefly flicking over to lock eyes with you once more before focusing back on the stars.

“You’re always going to be Bradley to all of us here. Even after we all head our own ways, everyone here is going to refer to you as Bradley.” You say with a smile, making Bradley nod slightly, his soft smile returning. Bradley was trying not to give away any of his supposedly obvious feelings towards you after the boys in his cabin grilled him about his feelings. He couldn’t keep lying to himself about his feelings anymore, but he didn’t want to risk the friendship he had with you. He didn’t want to scare you away. But you listened to him. You looked past Rooster and focused on Bradley. He realised then and there that he didn’t want anyone else but you.

“That will be nice. Just please don’t tell anyone my callsign.” Bradley asks, bringing himself back to reality and shifting to look over at you as you nod with a smile, moving to rest a comforting hand on top of Bradley’s entirely missing how his breath hitched at the contact because of how focused you were on the warmth of Bradley’s hand.

“Your secret is safe with me, Bradley.” You say, your voice no louder than a whisper, before removing your hand from atop Bradley’s, fighting back a frown at how cold you got the moment you moved your hand away while Bradley fought a frown of his own at the loss of the comforting feeling. The two of you look back up at the stars and continue to sit in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before a yawn slips past your lips without warning.

“I think that’s my cue to go and get some rest. You should do the same. We’re going to need all the rest we can get.” You say, beginning to get to your feet as Bradley mirrors your actions, standing face to face with you as you smile up at him under the moonlight.

“Goodnight Bradley.” You mutter with a shy smile, getting the sudden confidence to wrap him in a quick hug that took him aback at how gentle your hold was, able to wrap his arms around you for a brief second before you pulled away.

“Goodnight y/n.” Bradley replies, his soft smile never fading as he watches you turn around and make your way to the girl's line and disappear into the darkness before finally turning around himself and making his way back to his cabin.

When you reached your cabin, you snuck into your area of the cabin quietly, pulling your hoodie off and hanging it on a peg before taking your shoes off and climbing into bed, tugging the covers over yourself as you lie down, thinking about the first full day of camp tomorrow, and the tall aviator with a moustache on the other side of camp.

taglist (comment or ask to be added):

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[ofstardustanddreaming]

Not sure what your request rules are but I had an idea I wanted to pose to you. Karlach mentions early on she is one of zariel's 'least mutilated' pets. I was thinking imagine if Tav was another of those. There could be many ways how but I was thinking they were given mechanical wings but in the process of adding them their spine was removed and replaced with an infernal one which gives them issues from time to time and pain. It would be so interesting to have this Tav and Karlach on the adventure as both look to find ways to fix it. Perhaps they knew each other in Avernus or perhaps their escapes just lined up.

Hope you enjoyed the idea, I'm sorry if it wasn't to your taste, I'm pretty new to requests.

Oh yeah, this is such a good idea! And this is a perfect way to request, no need to worry :) If you would like to send more in the future, feel free to!

I'm also trying a few new fic layouts right now, so it might be a bit chaotic with the set up as I'm trying to figure out what I like. So please bare with me lol.

part of each other

headcanon summary: up above

content warnings: slight mentions of a rough backstory in avernus. mostly talking about obtaining the mechanical wings and spine, and how it was painful.

fandom: baldur’s gate 3

character: karlach x reader

gender neutral reader

anon request

you guys had initially met when you found her hunched over, looking as if she was in pain. wyll had let you guys in on the slight back story the two had with each other, and if anything it made you perk up. you didn't think you'd encounter someone who had a similar backstory to you, where you were both from avernus. you were shocked yourself you hadn't run into wyll, but you had heard of the blade of frontiers.

upon finding out a bit of what happened with her down in avernus, it made you curious. you had invited her with the group, and was glad that she had agreed to do so. anytime the group was walking along the routes you needed for your end destinations, you tried your best to talk to karlach as much as you could to know more. the strong connection you had found through her was comforting, it made you feel less alone about what you went through.

she was very curious about your story with avernus, wanting to know as much about your story without crossing your boundaries. she was always by your side at camp, when everyone was winding down, wanting to become a closer friend to you because of your similar stories. and how could you say no to her sweet, upbeat nature?

you told her your story about your time in avernus. the searing pain you endured as your spine was removed and quickly replaced with the mechanical spine. you distinctly remember the sound of the grinding joints, your muscles trying to reject the pain it was feeling from an unwanted procedure. the wings were added afterwards, connected at the upper spine and at the halfway point of the wings, pinned to your shoulder blades for better stability.

"my wings don't do much flying, so they feel useless, and they burn at my shoulder blades. the muscles around the spine feels constantly pulled at." you tell her, and she gives you a sympathetic look. the group had taken a small break outside of emerald grove, soaking in a bit of the sun before going onto the next mission.

"they really tried to make us their best warriors. our own autonomy be damned." karlach says, the rage and upset twisting in her words. but she looks towards you with hope. "oh tav, we'll make it through this. there's gotta be way to stop the infernal heat that plagues us."

her earnest hope makes you smile, the warmth behind her optimism making you feel like you stand a chance against this. "yeah, i'm sure we'll find something to help." even if you felt it was a halfhearted saying to her, you hoped that she believed you.

she let you hold onto your cynicism for a little while longer, wanting to give you time to work up to her optimism, knowing it's a hard time. she let you lean on her, when you aimed to do so. the two of you soaked in the moment, happy the both of you had someone to confide in. anytime you needed to lean on someone, you knew you could count on her for that. the both of you had similar body heats, relying on each other for comfort was very much needed.

eventually, the two of you found dammon. he helped you two with the infernal iron, gathering that for the both of you. it gave you the first glimmer of hope in this journey, in terms of your own personal path. sure, you felt and gave hope for the road to baldur's gate and helping the others with their journeys, but for your own self? you thought it was futile. but now it wasn't. you could have your pain lessened.

you and karlach that night shared your thoughts about it. karlach was happy to see your cynicism turned to optimism, happy that you could start to trust that things can work out for yourself. because she knew you deserved the happiness.

[pbandjesse]

Today was a very cold, but bright and beautiful day. I am feeling a little low but mostly thats because I'm tired. I am looking forward to bed.

But I had a nice day! I slept okay last night. I don't remember James leaving this morning but apparently I told them I love them so that is good. I am glad I reminded them I loved them before they headed out into the very very windy day. They apparently almost got knocked off this bike. But they wood soon be safe at work.

I woke up at 9 and felt alright. I wouldn't actually get up for a long time.

I got washed up and dressed. I stripped our bed and pulled out another sweater form storage (which I'm wearing now), and remade our bed. Felt nice to shake out the blankets.

I would have a little snack. And then vacuum the apartment. I packed up the recycling and cloroxed all the surfaces. I lit a candle and tidied up for a bit.

I chilled for a while. Callie let me know she would be here at noon. And so I went and made sure my stuff I had for her to look through was ready. I also found a few things I just thought she would like. Like a tiny horse squishmallow.

I was excited when she got here. We went through the clothes and knickknacks I had. She reacted exactly like I thought she was about the horse and a few other things. She's so sweet. And it was fun just sitting and talking about everything and nothing.

We talked about camp and work. Christmas and food. And traditions. It was a lot of fun. We would follow Sweetp from room to room and it was a really excellent afternoon.

I started feeling weird around 3. When I realized I had never eaten. Oops.

So I had some chocolate to get my hands to stop shaking while we looked at pictures and talked about travel. But soon her mom texted her that they were pulling out Christmas decorations. So she headed out.

Hugs all around and then she was off.

And very quickly James was home! I was sorry they didn't get to say hi to Callie. But that was okay.

James wanted to watch some more of the ravens came. Which was fine with me. Our landlady Tina had left us some apples. And so I was happy to eat a really beautiful apple and start to look through the edited wedding photos that Audrey sent us.

She made some of them black and white. Which are going to look great printed. But the color ones are my favorite. I am already thinking about layouts and how I'll frame some. I made some Instagram posts and I was just feeling really happy.

Soon though we headed to brass tap for dinner. It was a nice walk but I was very cold. I had wlmy hug scarf all wrapped around my head. And when we got there it was a little loud but that's okay.

The food was good but again, half way through the meal I started to feel really sick. I don't get why this keep happening. It's so frustrating. Everything started to taste so salty and my stomach hurt so bad.

So I was just like. I want to go home. James had finished their food. And I mostly finished mine.

The walk home was not fun for me. I felt like I was going to hurl. I don't even understand why. I was so upset.

But we got home and I laid down. James just held me. I sipped some water and that helped a little.

James did laundry. They had taken out chair down to the alley and we're excited to tell me it was gone when they went down to put the clothes in the dryer. Amazing. I hope whoever took it loves it. After they fix the side.

I would work on some prints. I pulled out some small watercolor paper and I am really pleased. I want to keep trying with my new stamps but I am really attached to this Birdy right now.

After a bit I took a bath. And it helped me feel a little better. And now I am cozy in bed.

My stomach still hurts. But I am alright. I am just hoping I can sleep easier tonight.

Tomorrow should be a good day. I have a cannery and a tour. And then me and James are going to puhtok to set things up. And take some Christmas themed photos. I am hoping it's not so cold.

Sleep good everyone. Take care of each other. Goodnight!!

[champagne-bucky]

Debt to Be Paid: I

Summary: Earth fears intergalactic war with another planet. The Avengers are called to work out negotiations on Zevitar, the planet of peace. What happens when they are reunited with their long lost team member?

Warnings: dark!Bucky x reader, mentions of non/dub-con, age gap (reader is of age) 

Notes: SHE’S HEREEEEEEE!!! Welcome to the first chapter of DTBP, the sequel to IOU!! If you’re new to this story make sure you check out IOU before you read this!! To all those who have read IOU... buckle up... Anyways enjoy!! Let me know what ya think! Please make sure to like, comment, reblog, inbox, and follow me for more! Enjoy :) 

Throughout his lifetime Steve Rogers was exposed to many types of pain. Whether it was physical, mental, or emotional, Steve could handle just about anything life could throw at him. That was until he lost you. In all his years of fighting alongside the Avengers, having been responsible for the demise of half the world’s population, and the tons of toxic chemicals pumped into his body could never prepare him for the pain of losing a child. While there is no biological relation, Steve couldn’t help but mourn for the loss of his daughter.

When Sam and Tony had come to the island to end his vacation they were trying to keep quiet about the situation that occurred back home. It wasn’t until three hours into the flight back home that Tony finally cracked and told Steve what was up. Steve was in shock, his daughter fought and nearly killed his best friend? Impossible.

Needless to say, Steve Rogers was an emotional wreck once he got back to the compound. He saw the state of Bucky’s room, he saw where they kept you locked up, he saw the damage that had been done to Stephen and Wanda when you escaped. He saw parts of you that he never knew you held. How dark had you become since he left, he wondered on those late sleepless nights.

Steve didn’t speak for days. Instead, he spent them walking around the taped off ruins of his beloved compound. What was once a home for him and his family felt more like a cold, steel, jail cell. He was truly in hell without you.

The nights were filled with him lying awake in bed, eyes opened wide and darting to every corner of the room, praying that you would somehow walk out of the shadows and back to him. Instead of taking sleeping pills that Tony suggested to him, he would get up out of bed and start researching, questioning, and theorizing where it is that you could be.

After a few weeks and two overworked coffee machines later, Steve had created three possible theories about what could have happened to you:

Being an Avenger came with a handful of enemies.  

Almost everyone on the team had their own enemies. From empty threats to stalker incidences, no one on the team was really safe. Any form of social media was constantly monitored, every time they were in a car there was security two cars behind, the second an Avenger leaves the tower they have surveillance on them 99.9% of the time.

Still, that .1% haunts Steve. He knows that people have their ways when it comes to the innovation of technology. Perhaps there was someone out there that was too good with computers. They hacked you, stalked you, and threatened you not to tell anyone. Maybe it got so out of hand to the point where you ran away for the protection of yourself and for the others. Maybe you attacked Bucky to keep the secret hidden or you got so scared that attacking him was an accident.

    2.   Everyone has their demons… maybe you had kept yours hidden too well.

As days grew longer, so did Steve’s suspicions. He never thought bad things about you. In fact, Steve knew there wasn’t a bad bone in your body. So why did he keep thinking you were secretly an evil person?

He theorized that there could’ve been another side to who you were. The nice and sweet you was all an act and you were waiting for an opportunity to show your true self. Between him not being around anymore and you now having full access to technology and weapons only Avengers have access to, you took advantage of your new found status and got carried away. Bucky found out and tried to put a stop to you and that’s how he ended up getting attacked. You broke out before you could face any consequences.

Steve shook his head at this theory. He knew you like he knew the layout of his old 40’s apartment. You’re not a bad person and never once have you said you hated someone. You never said you even hated Bucky, just upset that he didn’t seem to like you as much as the others did.

  3.  Being apart from Steve sent you towards a downwards spiral… basically it was all Steve’s fault that you’re gone.

This theory made a whole lot of sense, and none of it at the same time. Yes, everyone could confirm that you really missed Steve. You missed training with him and hanging out with him. You missed his presence around the compound as well. Something about Steve just made your days way better than when he wasn’t at the compound at all.

What didn’t make sense to anybody was why would you attack someone over this? Sure, you missed Steve, but nobody thought you missed him so much to the point of nearly killing someone. Bucky did give you a hard time, but as far as the Avengers knew it was just some name calling you didn’t appreciate.

Everyone recounted their last few days with you at the compound. You seemed okay, nothing out of the usual for you. However, Peter did speak up saying you seemed a bit jumpier and a little bit down and out than usual. Again, it chalked up to you missing Steve really bad. Then there was the matter of Stephen and Wanda.

They were your last victims before you escaped. The pair had gone through extensive questioning. However, they both had the same story. Wanda and Strange had tried to calm you down, but things got out of hand and you ended up lashing out at them.

Steve hit a brick wall at this point. How could no one know what happened to you? He tried hacking into security cameras from that day, but he was met with a disappointing glare from Tony and a handful of security to escort him out of the room meant for their investigation.

What was there even to investigate? You were gone and as far as anybody knew, there was no trace of you in New York, the United States, and pretty much any other country that agents were sent out to look for you. Steve guessed they only continued because Bucky needed to get some sort of justice or closure, but he swears that he was attacked for no reason. Everyone knew about their slight tension, but thought it wouldn’t go as far as leaving Bucky hospitalized.

Bucky kept quiet after Steve came back. Truth be told, he feared what his friend might do to him if the truth got out. He made sure to delete any evidence he could off his computer of you. When he visited you those last days, he managed to fuck up something in the control room that cut off the audio of him talking. No one had called him in to question his meeting with you, and Bucky was relieved because he needed more time to come up with the perfect excuse.

Now all he had to do was get rid of Wanda and Stephen, or get them off his back. He knows that they must know something. Tensions around the compound have been high around the three of them. The pair had been cold towards him after the attack, only going so far as signing a ‘Get Well Soon’ card and pitching in a few dollars for a thing of flowers, but that was all.

Wanda and Strange wasted no time after their questioning was over. They got right to work trying to compile all the evidence they could to expose Bucky. Unfortunately, it was proving to be more difficult than expected.

Bucky’s room had been blocked off by agents. He had to change rooms until the investigation was cleared. Everything in the room remained untouched, but no Avengers, besides Tony, had access to the room.

Strange and Wanda even went in from another angle and enlisted Peter to help find that security footage, but so far everything was blocked off to them. It seemed like there was one dead end after another. If the pair weren’t fast in their findings, they might never get justice for you. Even if you were long gone, Bucky shouldn’t get away with what he did.

No matter what, the pair of Avengers new they needed to finish the job you attempted to start… and Stephen Strange and Wanda Maximoff will be damned if justice wasn’t served.

~Meanwhile~

You emptied your stomach of breakfast later in the day. Same as yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that… something’s got to be up?

Maybe it was nerves? That could explain a lot seeing as the nightmares weren’t letting up anytime soon.

Seeing images of Bucky Barnes every time you close your eyes led to a lot of sleepless nights. It led to much more than sleepless nights, but you tried your best to listen to Carol’s advice and put the past behind you. Sadly, it would take a lot more than blocking that vile man from your thoughts.

Carol saw how you were feeling sick everyday. She also tried to put the worst out of her head, but curiosity piqued. It was important for her to tell you, but it was also important that you found out now before you were back on your home planet alone and scared.

When she first suggested that you may be pregnant, you laughed in her face, then you cried, then were angry, then depressed. There was no possible way, right? You remembered to take your birth control every night, right?

Okay, now you were freaking out. There was one night you might’ve forgot to take it, and that time spent in your jail cell, and maybe one or twice while on a mission.

Now you were panicking.

You forgot some days to take birth control, you were off it for a couple of days too. Bucky was relentless. The possibilities were leading towards confirmation. Every sign of pregnancy pointed to yes.

You tried to deny it for a week, but as you looked at the remnants of today’s breakfast being flushed down the toilet again you collected yourself and came towards acceptance. Coming out of the bathroom, Carol was right there with a quirked brow. She was about to say something, but you opened your mouth first.

“FUCK!”

[txbioglow]

serious talk today 😔 so i need to address character anons . why you should be careful with them , my experience ( bc that’s why im making this , as i need to address it ) , and if you are a character anon for someone , why it’s so important to be nice .

this is long but please bare with me as it’s important

everyone wants a character anon. someone to talk to that also happens to be a character from a show you like ?? sign me up . people use character anons as comfort characters , they talk to them , get to pretend like their favorite character is actually real for just a bit . and it truly makes people happy . they feel good abt themselves and puts a smile on their face . see the difference with real friends and anons , is that you know exactly who your mutual is . with your character anon , you have no idea who’s really behind that . when a mutual calls you an insult , it’s most likely in a jokingly and loving way . to a degree , teasing and insulting each other is okay . when that comes from a character anon , it feels like a slap in the face . that perfect happy world you were in ? vanished . now you just feel shocked that your character anon , has just changed and is now bullying you in a way that doesn’t give off tsukishima vibes . like the person behind that is seriously making that character an ass towards you and do you know how much it hurts ? imagine a stranger coming up and calling you for example , a dumbass . or saying they’d rather talk to someone else . hurts right ? that’s how it feels when a character anon comes for you .

moving on to my experience with a character anon . it was heaven at first . i had talked about how much i wanted a character anon and boom there was an anon in my inbox . too good to be true . they were so nice , made me melt . i almost threw my computer across the room couldn’t stop smiling . we spoke for a little , very soft cutely . my friends and i were all fangirling . they were hyping me up , watching this unfold like a k-drama . we were having fun they came up with a ship name for us , helped me reply to my anon , until everything went downhill

then we moved to my alt account to talk for a few reasons and i’m very glad we did because i would be ashamed if any of you had to have the conversation that started popping up on your dashboard . i received a message from them saying “ gotta blast to another babe, i’ll be back in a bit 🧡- your dearest ( character ) 🧡”

see i don’t care if you use this same anon for mutliple people when you interact with me like that it’s in their character and it makes me feel terrible about myself . go ahead and use the same character anon for mutliple people but don’t tell me you have to go talk to ‘ another babe ‘ in your character . makes me feel like i’m no longer interesting and you’re tired of me . not to sound self centered but when you send me a character anon in my inbox , i don’t want to be told those things by them . and it was all fine until then . so my friends said ‘ go off on him ‘ and i just played it cool like i was upset so i ‘ went off ’ 

as if that weren’t good enough i received two more saying  “no need to get pressed miss 💀- (character) 😜” and “i’ll just slide in one of ur friends dms then LMAO- stay pressed 🥺”

this hurt me so much man . i played it cool and said like ‘omg wow ihy you whore ‘ but it really did hurt . i got messages from my three oldest and closest mutuals that the character did indeed ‘ slide ‘ into their inboxes . it was ignored by one , and addressed by two . both seemingly upset because at that point i was visibly hurt . the anon was flamed by them and no on heard from them after that . however two of my mutuals ( including one who received a message from my anon ) gained new anons at the same time i did today . their anons had the EXACT same layout as mine , and i am very suspicious .

see if this wasn’t already ‘ not fine ‘ i then realized , that this person , who acted like an ass , and hurt me , has to be one of my followers . wtf man . did you think it was funny but it went wrong ? were you genuinely attempting to hurt me ? and as well as the fact that two of the mutuals that the anon spoke to after me where two close friends whom i havent publicly interacted with in ages . so is someone stalking me and my acc ? i have full confidence that the anon is reading this right now . what i’m now doing is laying a bit lower , maybe interacting on alt accounts , staying cautious of anons , and attempting to find out who the anon was . my attempts haven’t been working so if anyone who’s reading this knows of methods that have worked for them before ( for finding out who anons are ) please message me or talk to me through inbox or comments . i really want to know who this person was knowing they must follow my account closely . whether its for finding account names or ip addresses , anything works <3

so this brings me to my next topic , please be cautious of anons because you don’t know who they are or what their intentions are . 

and i just want to show some extra love to a few people for the following reasons , 

@zerohawks for hyping me up and helping me out both when the anon was still soft , and when the anon turned . i love u sm

@nejihoe for helping me research ways to find anons , and just listening . understanding my feelings and asking me genuinely how i felt . i appreciate you so much

@kaminology for absolutely flaming my anon on your dashboard , and for being concerned about me and really just putting everything down for me you know how much i love you .

@kageyuwu for really listening and volunteering to do everything you could to help , and scrolling through youtube for a good half an hour trying to figure out how to track anons i appreciate you more than you could know .

please go give them some love !!

anyway i thank you for listening if you made it to the end , heed what i said about being and receiving character anons please for your safety <3 

[drxwsyni]

Healing (pt.1/3)

Yandere Chisaki Kai/Overhaul x quirkless!f!Reader

Part 2︱Part 3

a/n: please do not read this piece if themes of poor mental health are upsetting to you. i am in no way attempting to romanticize these issues, having dealt with them in the past and knowing all too well how serious it is. i have never endorsed the harmful actions of people in my work and never will. please take care of yourselves and read at your own discretion. also this is a repost because it disappeared from the tags for some reason?

warnings: mental health problems, injury

4.2k words

_____

This is for your own good, he said.

The world is a disease ridden place, and remaining in it has left you broken.

You weren’t broken, you were fine. Sure, handling the pressures of simply existing as a result of being born without a quirk were tasking. People had not exactly been kind to you growing up, and that may have affected your health significantly. But you were handling it just fine.

While you couldn’t disagree with the fact that people did seem to enjoy using you, whatever had developed as a result of him discovering this reality wasn’t better in the slightest.

He said you needed time to heal, both physically and mentally. You could trust him, he was the only person who saw how faultless your existence was.

At some point you felt like you deserved to be mistreated by everyone around you, given how common of an occurrence it was. So when the yakuza leader came to you himself, going on about how unfairly you’d been handled all your life, it was hard not to trust him.

Now, you realize just how big of a mistake doing so was.

To be fair, he did live up to his promises. Kai said he wanted to help you heal, and what better way to do that than to move in with him. He had all the necessary equipment, and more than enough money to provide for you during your rehabilitation process.

However, he failed to mention the lengths he was willing to go to ensure your ‘good health’. Thinking you would stay with him until you got better, and then go back to living on your own once any pre existing issues had been taken care of slowly started to become an unattainable dream.

Upon arrival at the yakuza’s base, Kai instructed that it’d be in your best interest to not leave the premises. There was plenty of courtyard space for fresh air, and anything you needed would be picked up for you. Your room had been spacious enough, luxurious almost. Aside from the underground network of facilities, you were permitted to have free range of the base. The only condition was that you kept an escort with you at all times. Generally, these terms didn’t seem too bad.

It wasn’t until you sat down in his office to go through the rest of your new living plan that you realized just how committed he was to seeing your health improve.

Everything was planned to a T. When you’d wake up, take medication, bathe, eat, go to bed. He had taken into account any intolerances or allergies and developed a comprehensive meal program that catered to them. The most important element was the checkups scheduled twice a week to monitor your physical health.

While you didn’t enjoy the idea of being examined so regularly, you couldn’t argue that you’d neglected many problems over your lifetime. Sure, blood tests and vaccine administered supplements weren’t fun. But for the sake of rehabilitation you supposed that it was just another necessary evil.

What was concerning was his policy on electronic devices, specifically for recreational use. According to him, having a phone would only hinder the process, and therefore it wasn’t something you needed.

“Should you require anything you need only to ask either myself or a subordinate. Seeming as you should always have an escort there will be no issue with the matter of not being able to contact anyone.”

Kai truly had everything covered, and with how reassuring he was it became hard to see any flaws in the plan.

And so you took up residence in the leader’s base, grateful for the opportunity to live without being weighed down by society's corrupt expectations.

_____

The first few weeks went fairly smoothly, using the time to learn the layout of the establishment. Not that you could ever get lost, with one of his subordinates trailing you in case you required assistance. You quite enjoyed the company of Chisaki’s underlings, along with that of the man himself.

Every day you’d spend time in the courtyard, or go for a walk along the path against the inside edges of the base. Oftentimes Kurono would accompany you, and the two of you would make small talk over menial subjects. Later on you’d return to Kai’s office where you’d sit on the sofa positioned to the side of the room, reading a novel he’d selected while he worked at his desk.

Generally, your experience went fairly smoothly. The distance you’d put between yourself and the reality outside those tall concrete walls had done a lot of good. However, not everything can be solved with simply removing yourself entirely from a bad situation.

Although your living quarters were comfortable and welcoming, there was something unfamiliar about it that was off putting. To combat this, you decided a quick trip home to pick up a few belongings couldn’t hurt.

It’d only taken you roughly twenty-five minutes to travel back on foot to your small, cheap little single floor house on the edge of town. Another ten to gather some items, and then you walked back to the base. However, upon returning you’d come to understand how badly you’d messed up.

It was early in the morning before you’d left, and there were no examinations scheduled either. Not wanting to bother anyone with your needs, you had left the base alone without notifying Chisaki.

That was your first mistake.

He was waiting for you at the front entrance, arms crossed with an aggravated look on his face, although it was hard to read given the mask hiding a good half of his facial features. But if that didn’t give away his anger, then the death grip he placed on your forearm as he dragged you to your designated bedroom did.

He practically threw you inside the room, slamming the doors behind him. He only took a second to compose himself before speaking. “I thought I made it very clear that you were not to leave the premises, let alone by yourself.”

You knew Chisaki was quite the stern man, seeing first hand once or twice with how he treated his subordinates. But this was new, he’d never gotten mad at you, let alone get physically aggressive.

“I didn’t think it’d be a big deal, I was just grabbing some things to make my room a little more comfortable.”

“Did I not tell you that whatever you needed would be picked up for you?”

His demeanour suggested that the question was not rhetorical. “You did, I know. I just didn’t want to bother Kurono or anyone else to go with me so early.”

Something about your open concern for others seemed to pacify his rage, letting out a sigh before moving to sit on the short couch next to him. Leaning forward, elbows propped on his knees, Kai responded. “Staying inside the base is a crucial part to your healing, I can’t let you leave knowing the danger you’d be putting yourself in without protection. You should refrain from doing something so reckless moving forward.”

You moved from your standing position to sit down next to him, of course keeping a respectable distance knowing his abhorrence to bacteria, and generally people as well. “I’m sorry for making you worry, I was just a bit homesick is all.”

The yakuza turned his head to look at you, brows furrowed in a somewhat inquisitive manner. His amber eyes pierced through yours, seemingly searching for answers to questions that couldn’t be asked. “I hope you’re aware of how important someone like yourself is to my cause. Those without quirks are growing increasingly rare, and it’s causing more issues than the world can keep up with.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “I believe it goes without saying that I’d be deeply upset if anything were to happen to you. Normally I couldn’t be bothered with such a thing… but you’re the exception.”

Chisaki stood up and walked toward the bedroom door before facing you again. “Take a bath and then return to my office with your book. Kurono will be waiting outside your door to escort you.”

You watched him leave the room, waiting for the door to completely shut before letting out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding all this time.

Whatever that was, you never wanted to encounter it again. Maybe, you thought, I’d be better off getting out of here sooner rather than later.

_____

After the first incident occurred you presumed things would return to normal, but of course that would be too convenient. It seemed that there was now a slight increase in security around the base. The development was immediate, making it hard to miss. Any exits leading outside―those literally outside, say to the courtyard―and gates to exit the compound were guarded by one of Chisaki’s underlings.

On top of that, he had one of his men stationed outside your bedroom 24/7, whether you needed an escort or not. He never bothered to notify you of this change in particular. It only came to your attention after hearing the verbal exchange of two men outside your door, doing what you assumed was rotating shifts.

It was unnerving, to say the least. The incident had been minor as far as you perceived it, but the unspoken changes around you demonstrated otherwise.

Aside from that, you thankfully regarded the steady improvement to your health. Your energy had returned significantly, likely thanks to the mandatory eight hours of sleep. The daily walks had eliminated the general weakness and lack of stamina you experienced. Even your face took on a warm glow, eye-bags almost non existent and blemishes quickly fading.

It would seem that your departure from this temporary rehabilitation would come sooner than you expected.

Yet the more your condition improved, the stricter Kai became with your routine. Not only that, but he also seemed to be growing more comfortable having you near him.

Now, with any normal person this familiarness would only be expected. But you knew better, and a voice deep in the back of your mind was telling you that this new predicament wouldn’t end well.

_____

The next incident seemed to be the thing that set him off, solidifying your future.

It had been roughly a month and a half since you accepted being cared for at the yakuza’s compound. By now the problems which put you in this situation were almost entirely taken care of, but that didn’t stop Kai from enforcing his rules more than ever.

Frankly, the repetitive, unwavering routine you’d been following was starting to create its own problems within your health―you were going a bit stir crazy.

After the last warning, you’d be lying if you said the main thing keeping you from leaving was fear for how Chisaki would react. Now however, it’d been too long since you experienced the real world, and even if it was only for an hour, you desperately needed to go outside the walls of the compound.

You took the issue to Kai during the time you spent reading in his office. He was going to have to let you do this, staying cooped up any longer wouldn’t be good for you and even he couldn’t ignore that reality.

After what felt like an endless back and forth discussion, seemingly getting nowhere on either side, you started to believe that he really didn’t think the situation was an actual problem.

But you knew he had a soft spot for you, and eventually the man did cave to your request.

Accompanied by one of his more trusted subordinates, you were allowed to leave the base for two hours. You took this much appreciated freedom to do some window shopping here and there, at one point stopping to buy latte―of course not before fighting with your escort over how Kai would disapprove of you doing so, the caffeine apparently being bad for you.

You were nearing the end of your time limit, and still you remained unsatisfied with what felt like an all too brief reintroduction to society.

Pushing your luck, you headed to the center of the downtown area, hoping the bustling life and bright colours would be enough to satiate your need for external stimulation.

Before you had left the compound that day, Kai had stopped you for a moment at the front entrance. The statement was quick―he advised you to stay out of any heavy populated areas. According to him it posed too high of a risk to your safety, and you should heed his words if you knew what was good for you.

However, now that you were out and getting a taste of everything you didn’t even realize you were missing, those warnings were the last thing to concern you. Oh, how foolish you were to even believe there was nothing wrong with going against him for a second.

You heard the destruction before you felt it. The cause of it was unidentifiable, as before you could steal a glance from the source of exploding brick and concrete next to you, an unseen force sent you flying across the pavement and out onto the road. Thankfully traffic immediately came to a halt once onlookers realized the situation, effectively preventing you from being run over. But that did little to console you as painfully, you comprehended your now significantly injured state.

Giving your body a once over, it was clear that the force that threw you away from the building was from the blast of air pressure likely due to an explosion. The damages weren’t too severe, but you were still now sporting a throbbing headache, and what appeared to be a sprained ankle. Aside from that, only developing bruises remained as evidence of the violent event as far as you could tell in your shock induced state.

Understanding you had to get yourself away from the violent, still ongoing conflict, you feebly attempted to stand up. It was a good effort, and if it weren’t for the head injury that was proving to be much more serious, you most likely would’ve been able to get away.

But luck was never on your side to begin with, and only a few seconds went by before black spots appeared in front of your vision. A moment later and you were out cold.

_____

A hospital room was what you expected, what anyone would expect after being nearly blown to pieces.

Pulling yourself out of unconsciousness to assess exactly where you were was a trying task, but the fear growing in the pit of your stomach served as more than enough motivation.

You remembered being downtown. An explosion. Pain. Then darkness. Taking in your surroundings, you identified the room to be that which you sat through examination after examination in the yakuza’s base.

But Kai was nowhere to be seen, and that only made the feeling of distress worse.

You had no idea how you got there, figuring the likely outcome would be you in the care of an actual doctor. Except that wasn’t the case, and instead you were laying on a bed, wearing clothing that you did not have on before blacking out.

It appeared to be a fairly loose but comfortable sleeveless knee length dress, with a long sleeve sweater overtop of it, both shaded with a pale light blue. In the midst of examining your new outfit, your eyes laid upon a heart monitoring device lightly clipped to your index finger.

Amidst the sudden realization of your current predicament, you failed to notice the steady increase in your heartbeat. But Kai hadn’t.

At that moment one of the two doors of the room, the other attached to a bathroom, swiftly opened. Chisaki stood in the doorway for a moment, seemingly evaluating your now awakened form for a moment before entering, closing the door behind him.

You questioned him before he even had the chance to come near you. “What the hell am I doing here? Why aren’t I in a hospital?” He approached you as you spoke, taking a seat on a wheeled stool next to your bed.

Unfortunately you couldn’t control the shaking in your voice, and it served as a clear indication to the man at just how uneasy you’d grown with the situation.

“My subordinate alerted me of the attack after he found you unconscious. You were brought back here amidst the fighting so I could tend to your injuries, which fortunately are not life threatening.” He spoke in a calm and consistent tone, pausing momentarily before continuing. “There was no need to bring you to a hospital when I’m more than capable of taking care of you.”

Not life threatening? You looked over your body, assessing the damage for yourself. It appeared that you had injured your ankle, as it was now wrapped in some form of brace. Along with that were bandages woven around your knees, and more that you could feel constricting your upper arms where you landed on. Lastly was the dull pain in the back of your head, bringing you back to the moments before blacking out when you experienced a similar sensation.

“I think I should still go see a professional, no offense of course. It’s just I’d feel more comfortable with an expert opinion on the whole thing.” You truly didn’t want to set him off, not after what happened the last time you went against his advice. However, this was not something you could just take lying down, despite the fact that you were literally lying down in bed at the moment.

“I’m going to have to insist that you remain here, it’s the best option for your recovery which may I remind you has not been completed as of yet, and will only be delayed due to this. Not to mention that in your state excessive movement to bring you to a hospital would not only be quite difficult to manage but further damaging to your body as well.”

If it weren’t for the unsettling, stone cold stare he was giving you as he spoke, you would’ve likely retorted with a defense. Yet under that gaze you felt it was impossible to remain strong willed. You’d let him have his way for now, there being only so much time remaining in which his care was necessary.

With that you agreed to his concerns, and perhaps if he wasn’t wearing that obnoxiously large mask you would’ve seen the smirk of satisfaction appear across his face.

_____

Later that day Kai returned with your dinner, a task he normally left for his subordinates to complete. He set down the tray atop the sliding overbed table, a clipboard in his other hand. Sitting down on the rolling stool next to your bed, he began talking, you listening in silence as you ate.

“I hope you don’t mind but I took a blood sample while you were asleep in case your injuries were more severe than outwardly observable.” He flipped through a few pages on the clipboard before continuing. “It would seem that the supplements are steadily improving your overall condition. It’ll still take some time for certain levels to reach a normal amount for someone of your physique, but this is still good news nonetheless.”

You hummed in response, not wanting to be rude by talking with your mouth full. Chisaki moved to place the clipboard on the counter to your left before facing you again.

“I’m sure by now you’ve taken note of the change in your attire from that prior to being injured.”

You stopped chewing, looking worriedly in his direction. You hadn’t forgotten about this reality, it was more like you chose to ignore it for the time being, hoping nothing would come of it between the two of you.

“You should know that I had one of my female underlings do this for me, the fact of the matter being your clothing was partially destroyed from the explosion and was therefore prohibiting necessary medical attention.”

The pulsing of your heartbeat quickened, having an idea of where this conversation was headed, much to your apprehension. You stared down at the meal in front of you to avoid eye contact at all costs.

“I was able to properly tend to your wounds, but I’m sure you understand when I say that I couldn’t help but notice certain… remnants. Those of past trauma, along with others I didn’t directly observe, those that my subordinate notified me of.”

It was obvious that to access the bruises and cuts sustained from being thrown across the pavement, Chisaki would inevitably see parts of your body that you were all too familiar with just a few years ago.

Things had gotten better since then, they really had. You would never even think about using those same coping methods anymore. But that didn’t change the fact that those memories weren’t something that could just fade overnight, nor would the physical damage they left behind.

It was the last thing you wanted to discuss with Kai right now. He already knew, albeit vaguely, that you used to struggle with your mental health. Not that you weren’t still struggling, it was just now you had healthier ways of handling it. The only thing you could do now was deter him from pressing you further on the matter.

“Listen Kai, I know what you’re referring to, and I understand why you’d be concerned. It’s just… you don’t need to bother with it. I’m better now, at least in that regard. I get that you want to help me, and you have, but this isn’t something you need to worry about. I’ve already taken care of it, I promise.”

Glancing up at him after finishing, you saw more emotion than you’d ever thought someone like himself would be capable of. Although to most it would be insignificant, his intense stare coupled with the furrowed eyebrows, looking as if he truly wanted to comfort you in that moment was reassuring.

He exhaled loudly before responding. “That’s fine, (y/n).” You watched as he removed those white gloves that he seemed to wear like a second skin, placing them on the counter. “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry I wasn’t able to help you during that time. Someone like you should have never been subjected to such treatment, and if I had known you back then I would’ve made sure such an occurrence never took place to begin with.”

Now this was… jarringly out of character.

If there was ever a red flag that you missed before, the ensuing events would surely be enough to make it blatantly obvious what exactly was going on.

Wide-eyed and dinner long forgotten, you followed the movement of his hands as they went to gently hold that of your left.

The yakuza waited for what felt like an eternity before carrying on, doing what you could only assume was anticipating the disgust of coming into contact in such a way with you, absent of his constant protective articles.

But the aversion never came.

“All I can do now is ensure you’re never dealt the same treatment again.”

Another moment of silence, stillness.

He gave your hand a small squeeze before releasing his hold, standing up and retrieving his gloves. You were too dumbfounded by the events that just unfolded to respond, so you continued to sit in silence while Kai gathered his belongings.

“Finish your dinner, Kurono will come later and turn off the heart monitor for you to get ready for bed.” He finished pulling on the gloves, picking up the clipboard once he was done and headed towards the only exit of the room.

“You’ll be remaining in this room while your injuries heal. I’ll keep one of my men posted outside if you need anything.” Kai placed a hand on the doorknob, pausing before looking back in your direction.

“Also, you should know that an alarm will go off if you remove the heart monitoring clip on your finger. There’s a button on the side of the bed you can press if you need assistance turning the machine off, say if you need to get up. Otherwise please leave it as it is.”

At that moment he left the examination room, the door closing with a heavy metallic thud that reverberated off the walls.

The feeling in the pit of your stomach was subtle, almost overshadowed by the persisting hunger from abandoning your dinner. But you knew it well to be fear.

A fear that you only suspected would grow the longer you remained in the confines of Chisaki’s compound, the confines of his so-called ‘care.’

(End of Part 1)

[stiles-o-dylan24]

Hi! So I love your IABY series and now the spin-off is like my new favorite thing! I've been going back and forth for a while now about whether or not I should start my own Teen Wolf rewrite, and I was just wondering how you did it? Like did you watch each episode multiple times or use a transcript of the show? Thank you!!! And love your writing!!!!

Okay so first off THANK YOU so much bby!

It makes me so unbelievably happy that you loved IABY and the new series, plus my writing?! 

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Your support is everything, hunny, so truly thank you!!

Alright I’m going to add a keep reading cut and answer your rewrite questions below it because as we all know I’m quite chatty and my process was a doozy so here we go–

So to begin, yay starting your own rewrite! It is such a process that is so much fun and rewarding and I’m so glad I did it. 

The first bit of advice I can give you is to prepare yourself for how much work does go into it. There’s 100 episodes and depending on the character you’re creating they could be in a lot of the scenes throughout the whole series. However even with that being said, do try to not only look at it as 100 episodes otherwise you’ll psych yourself out. 

It does truly go by quicker than you think it will and it’s such a fun process that it never really felt daunting to get to the finish until season 6 when there wasn’t a lot of interaction on my chapters because let’s face it everyone loves Stiles and there was only so much I could do with that fucking season. 

I specifically chose for Addy to be Scott’s sister because I wanted her to be in the whole series and in as many scenes as possible to really make it seem like she was always in canon and not just put there because I needed a character to be there.

So why that’s important goes into how you reshape the scenes to fit your character into. 

I’ve read a few rewrites where the author obviously didn’t think about that and it really showed making it just feel forced and not enjoyable to read. 

I know I view rewrites differently than most people but to me, if you’re going to take on a rewrite that means you’re altering canon, at least a little bit, for the story to make sense for a new character like they were there all along. So why not change relationships and morph the story to include someone who in my opinion was definitely missing from the show? 

So once you have a good idea of the relationships you want your character to have it’ll make how you alter the script easier.

Do not make the mistake I made for the first season and only watch the episodes pausing every few seconds to copy down the lines! lol that took forever and when I finally had the thought that ‘hey I bet there’s fucking transcripts out there’ I was quite upset at myself that it took me 12 episodes to figure it out 😅

I got the transcripts from here however be very warned that:

Sometimes, especially in season 3, who they have saying the line is not always correct.

Sometimes the line itself is not quite correct to what was actually said

Sometimes the website goes away and there’s no data on the page

So for that last bullet point I do suggest copying every episode into a separate google doc. Yes it takes some time however it’s so worth it to not have to go back and worry about the webpage being down when you’re starting season 4 (Yes that happened to me and when the page came back up I copied the rest of the series into docs)

It copies the entire episode script into one big paragraph so you have to go through and space it out properly however I used that opportunity to watch the episode as I was doing that and I would take out scenes that obviously Addy couldn’t be in– though in the same point to that I would keep scenes that I felt were necessary to keep the story together and I would need to write those in a different POV or a ‘Story time’ retold by Addy like in the beginning scene of 1x11.

To me, keeping the story well described was really important and I actually had a few people who hadn’t finished watching the series continue to read IABY so I really had to make sure I kept the story in there as much as I could with little summaries to what was happening in scenes Addy wasn’t in so they would be able to follow what the hell was happening. 

I mean we’ve all, for the majority, watched the whole series and know what’s happening, but you’re writing a story– why not have it flow as smoothly as if someone was actually watching the series?

So once I had the layout of the script I would then go in and write the scenes as best as I could remember them since I had just watched the episode as I was formatting the script layout. 

Once I had the scenes done that way, I would then watch the episode again and read through what I had, adding in more actions from the characters/facial expressions that were missing to really make the scene flow more realistically.

That process really worked for me and I felt like was the most time efficient to getting through an episode. 

Remember to have fun with it! You’re telling your story for you more than anyone. You feel like something is missing and this is your opportunity to write something you will want to read.

Yes the interaction is fun and helps you get through the moments of is this worth it, however you also need to write for you. Create something you will want to read to fill that space in your mind of what’s missing when you’re watching the show/reading other people’s rewrites.

Again this is all just my advice and is to be taken with a grain of salt. You need to do things in a way that works for you! What I did was really beneficial to me and my work schedule plus my mindset for what I wanted to bring to my rewrite. It may not work for you so if it doesn’t just be patient with yourself and you’ll find your way. 

How I wrote in the first two seasons drastically changed from then on. I learned so much about my writing style and I really grew as a person/writer and that alone was so worth all the stress and moments of doubt that I could do this well.

I hope if you do choose to do this that you have so much fun! Also I am here if you need anything-- to vent, run ideas by, a beta reader, literally anything. 

I also want to be tagged in your series as well🤗

Hopefully through my long ramble of a message I answered your questions or gave you some form of insight. If I did not or you still have more questions please don’t hesitate to send me another message!

[toledoendo]

Resetting the Bone- Part 3

A/n: trigger warnings: self-harm, shame

Peter walked up the stairs in the lake house, looking at the framed pictures along the landing. It was his tradition to look at these photos every time he climbed the stairs. He’d done this ever since his first time in the lake house. It began as curiosity, a means to learn about the time he had missed after Titan. Then, it became a comfort and way to ground himself. It was especially important for him in the summer before college to stand and soak in each image. Now, it was habit.

Tony never got tired of hanging more frames or updating the photos inside. Peter thought about how Tony loved his family and his heart surged. He jealously guarded the members of that family — Pepper, Morgan, Rhodey, Happy… and Peter. Tony was at peace and able to be with those he loved without hardship. Finally.

Peter wanted to protect his happiness. Not ruin it. Not abuse Tony’s generosity, as so many had.

Peter found his bedroom door open. His surging heart dropped sharply. “Morgan?” He asked on reflex, stepping in quickly. Tony was standing just inside, his hands in his pockets.

Tony gave a relaxed smile and shrugged disarmingly. “Just me, bud. I wanted to check in on how you’re doing this morning.” He motioned to the door, inviting Peter to close it so they could talk.

Peter tried to swallow as he closed the door. This was the part he dreaded most about his visits the last couple of months. The worry that May and Tony- and everyone else- were teeming with for him. He had caused such an upset since that night he’d called from the hospital.

To be fair, the ER doctors had released him; they’d determined he wasn’t in imminent danger because he didn’t want to die. No, not kill himself... He had told them the truth. He had done things the right way. The urges to harm were right there, pressing their weight against his forehead like a lover about to kiss him.

Going to the ER, Peter was hoping for immediate counseling or a recovery program, but that wasn’t what happened. It was like trying to warn everyone that there was a shark in the water and them choosing to wait until it bit. By the time May had made it from New York, Peter was exhausted in every sense. He didn’t want to talk anymore; the breaker in his brain had been thrown.

May had put her hands on his cheeks and forehead several times, searchingly, as if his face might tell her exactly where the fault was and how she could heal it. She knew better, but maybe that was just the panicked hope of parents at the first sign their children are hurt. Tony had done the same when he surprised Peter in New York after May had packed him up and took him home for a week.

It was immature, but Peter was embarrassed when May or Tony “checked on him.”

They shouldn’t have to do this, he thought.

Tony sat down on the bed and Peter reluctantly walked to him. He heard his nerves buzzing again. He felt much younger, some residual teenage sense of inadequacy in his chest.

Tony sat in front of him — the one he always relied on, the one who always supported him — with an expression practically asking to take care of him, to comfort him. But Peter knew what that meant. He hardened his resolve.

Tony wanted him to be healthy, part of his family, part of his peaceful new life, and Peter wasn’t ready to give up these suddenly important, life-quaking emotions. They were his and he was greedy with them. At the expense, he knew, of others. I just keep hurting everyone, Peter thought. I don’t deserve the life I had. Peter couldn’t look at him. His eyes found the floor. Bad son.

“Can I see?” Tony asked.

Peter jolted. He looked up and saw Tony’s hands outstretched, asking for his wrist. Peter shuddered then stiffened. Don’t do this, please. He wasn’t sure who he was talking to. “No,” he said breathily.

Tony relented easily but Peter clearly saw the worry on his face. “Okay.” Tony said. “You know, even with your advanced healing, you need to keep them clean so they don’t get infected.” Peter’s stomach went stone hard.

Damn it! Peter clenched his teeth, suddenly defensive. “They’re not… They’re just … superficial. Not deep.” I hate this. I hate this.

Tony‘s brow buckled. Then he took a deciding breath through his nose. “Pete.” His voice dropped, serious. “Last time—“

No, no, no, Peter said to the rising rebellion in his brain.

“— you kept going deeper—“

Peter huffed, though it wasn’t meant how it sounded. He’d just lost control of the breath he’d pent up. Tony paused. He stood and stepped toward Peter.

Peter whispered. “Sorry.”

Tony put his arms around Peter, pausing slightly to give Peter the chance to withdraw if he didn’t want the hug. Peter didn’t resist. Tony was warm. Helplessly, Peter leaned into him.

Shame flared behind Peter’s eyes. He wished he would cry and get it over with. How much easier would that be?

Peter used to cry all the time. If he was too tired, he’d cry. If he was hungry, occasionally, he’d cry. If Tony praised him, he’d cry. If he was stressed by school deadlines, workload, if he lost a competition in front of other people, if there was even a ghost of disappointment on May’s face, he’d melt into tears.

As much as he used to hate that about himself, Peter wished he could just sob it out and this could be over. But, he didn’t cry now, had not for a while... He was so locked down, it was useless to try.

“You don’t have to show me or tell me anything, Pete. I’m not trying to…” Tony sighed. He tread this conversation softly. No doubt he remembered how easily Peter could bolt. He was quiet a long time, swallowing. Peter could hear it, feel it against his collar. “I see the work you’re doing and I’m proud of you. I’m so proud, Pete!”

“I think I cut to get high.” Just say it. “I think I’m making all this up.”

Peter hated it, but wasn’t that the truth? During the week he spent in New York with May and Tony they had developed a relapse plan. In addition to seeing a counselor immediately and using the strategies he’d learned when he was fifteen, he would drop 4 credits to ease the stress of college. He would quit his position on the university student newspaper. And, he wasn’t even patrolling as Spider-Man. He had nothing to be stressed about. So what was the problem?

“Nothing is really wrong with me. I do this because I want to. Please. Don’t feel sorry for me.”

Tony spoke, interrupting his inner battle. “I just want you to know that I’m here. I’m with you.”

“This is something I’m doing to myself, doing to you— doing on purpose.” Peter continued. “And I’m not going to stop. I’m not going to stop. Please—“

Tell him.

I can’t.

“I know,” Peter finally said.

Tony pulled away. He looked at Peter and Peter felt genuinely sorry for him. “Are you using your timer between urges and following through?”

Peter nodded. “Mostly.” Anger flared up despite everything. Tony just couldn’t help mothering him, could he?

“How long do you set?”

“Five minutes.”

Tony nodded, thinking. “Will you try 10 minutes?”

Peter dutifully agreed. When Tony was quiet, Peter raised his eyes. He saw Tony’s jaw tighten and Peter wondered what was going through his mind.

“Pete,” Tony said carefully. “I’m scared that—“ He stopped. His thumb raked his forehead as he sighed.

“I’m okay.” Peter tried. “I’m doing so much better, really. Better even than a couple weeks ago.”

“I know.” Tony smiled. “You’ve been working hard.”

No I haven’t.

“Are you talking to May?”

“Yes.” Peter lied. Of course he was talking to May. She texted him nonstop and called most nights. But, he knew what Tony was asking: was he calling May to talk when he was feeling the urge to harm? No.

May had started her own publishing group and it was gaining traction. Peter remembered being six and May bringing home finished magazines to show him and Ben. “My layout was chosen!” She’d trill. Now that he was away at MIT, she was pursuing her career again. She was finally free to do it.

Tony had asked because Peter didn’t take the walk with him last night. He had hidden in his room. And now he had fresh cuts. Of course Tony figured it out.

Tony didn’t believe his answer. This gave him the courage he needed. “I’m scared you’re not going to call anyone when you… need to.”

“I will.” Peter’s voice strained.

“Okay.” Tony said, taking an unconscious step back. He was trying to lessen the threat, ease the pressure on Peter’s flight reflex. He looked at Peter for a long time. “I trust you, Pete. Just… I’m always here to listen. I love you, kid.”

“Thanks.” Peter said. His leg started trembling. Tony was about to walk away and give him his space again. Peter’s defenses always chose this moment waver. So scared of losing this relationship that a moment before he had been actively choking to death.

Tony squeezed his shoulder and smiled at him. Peter could almost believe he was proud of him. There was nothing he had wanted more at one time. Here it was for him. He was looking at it, offered to him, like it was a foreign object. Then Tony turned for the door. “Why don’t you listen to some music —“

“Mr. Stark!”

Both started at that. Tony turned to him questioningly. “Y’haven’t called me that in a while, bud.”

Peter shook out an exhale. His shoulder touched his left ear. Fourteen again, anxious tics and all, he stammered. “Can — can you—“ Goading himself to push through his instinct to flee, he fought the closing of his throat. This felt like gagging yourself to throw up. He ducked to his backpack and removed a foldable camping knife. He thrust it toward Tony, not able to look at him. “—take this, please?”

“Of course.” He heard Tony answer softly. “I’ll take care of it, okay?” Then he felt Tony lift it from his hand. “Do you want to talk?”

That was it. The apathy dissolved and Peter felt his legs swept from under him. He clenched his eyes closed and shook his head. A brutal sob broke out as he felt Tony hold him again.

Damn it. It was always like this. Splintered and unable to hold himself together, he had to interrupt someone else’s life to gather him up, put him in a splint.

I can’t talk to you. Don’t you get it?

“I’m here. I’ve got you.” Tony said.

Peter couldn’t bring himself to cling to Tony like he had. He was defying himself to even hand over the knife. Stuck between two places: complete destruction and health. Was this even a step toward recovery? Tony probably hoped so.

Tony was smoothing down his quaking form, talking in lullaby tones— “I’m with you. You don’t have to do this alone.” Even so, Peter couldn’t rest, but it felt great to cry.

[luxury-loki]

Endgame Chat

!!spoiler free part!!

Hey everyone, this is part one of my full Endgame review, hope you enjoy! My blog is now officially no longer spoiler free (I mean it’s been a week, if you haven't seen it by now then wyd???). However, everything will still be tagged with ‘#endgame spoiler’ and ‘#endgame spoilers’. If you do not want to see any spoilers, PLEASE block these from your feed if you haven't already, consider this your only warning! I will not be taking the blame for anything you have spoiled for you from this blog from now on.

thanks babies,

Lara xxx

I fully have no words to describe this film. It was such a satisfying end I barely even knew I needed, and I have so much I wanna talk about, so strap in cus this is gonna be a long ride.

I think I'm just going to do the same layout as my infinity war posts, with one for character arcs and the there for memorable events/moments.

Let’s start with characters. I’m going to talk mostly about the main six, and anyone else just a brief few things.

Thor

“I’m still worthy!”

I have been seeing alooooot of hate for the way Endgame handled Thor’s character, and I have to completely disagree. We’ve become so comfortable with seeing Thor as the most powerful Avenger, the one who was fine when his mother died, father died, brother, best friend etc that it was crucial to see that this was never actually the case. Thor’s decent into alcoholism, obesity and depression showed he was never really okay with everything that’s happened, he only bottled it inside till it all became too much, and having it healed by a chat with his mother was the perfect way to reach his arc. His relationship with his mother has been so overlooked by the marvel fans (me included) and it was so special to see this heart warming moment between them. When he said “I love you Mum.” to her my heart BURST and my eyes suddenly got very teary, not to mention the added heartbreak that he knew it was the day she was going to die. Overall, although yes, It was comical to see him in this state, that was not the only point to his storyline, it was about seeing a more emotional side to his character, a side which proves he isn't just a ‘tough guy’ who can handle the force of a star and wield lightening. He just as emotionally unstable as the rest of us, and needed his family back (both blood and The Avengers), and a reminder that he was still worthy of Mjolnir to set him back on the right path again to greatness. 

His passing of his kingship of Asgard to Valkyrie was also important. Although the Thor franchise had the most perfect beginning and ending, starting with Thor becoming king of Asgard when he was childish and irresponsible and ending with him becoming King when he was actually prepared, the title of king was still not something he chose, and with Valkyrie there to be extremely capable of the role and eager to take it, it makes sense now to allow Thor to go on to actually live the life he wants, and become the true hero his mother tells him to be. I feel he suits the role of a hero who fights the bad guys more than a sensible noble king. I desperately hope he is in Guardians 3, as I think a Quill/Thor bromance is about to blossom beautifully. 

Natasha 

“I used to have nothing, then I got this family.”

I did not see Natasha’s death coming, like not from a million miles away and it BROKE ME. I actually cried at it more the second time I went to see it. We as an audience forget how she really has no one except The Avengers, they are her one true family, and this is emphasised in the scene on Vormir when she explains how she didn't even know her own father's name. Natasha has always been great in every film she's been in, and has been integral to the development of the MCU, however her role in Endgame was something else. Seeing how broken she was over the snap and seeing how she felt it was her responsibly alone to keep track of the events happening across the whole planet shows how seriously she takes her role as an Avenger and how much she wants to earn the title. I’ll talk more about the scene on Vormir in my next post, but it was really something else. The fact it was Clint she goes with was so important, her best friend. The line from him in the guardians’ ship “this is a long way from Budapest” was such a great call back to the first avengers film, and reminds us of the long history the two share. 

When it was obvious one of them was going to die I knew it was going to be her, which is very telling of what I internally think of her character. She would never have let Clint die whilst he had a wife and children at home. Natasha sacrificed herself so that half of the universe could survive, as did Tony. Everyone alive in the MCU owes their life to her, and that is an incredible legacy for her character to leave. She will be desperately missed, but her new film coming out, despite (I assume) being a prequel will be a welcome look into her life again.

RIP Nat x

Clint

“I wish I could tell her we won.”

Opening the film on Clint losing his family was a clever way of reminding the audience of the loss experienced by everyone in Infinity War, not just the characters we followed. It was also interesting to see Clint’s darker side. On his mission to rid the world of the criminals who avoided dusting whilst innocent lives were taken, he murders what we can only assume is hundreds, showing the extreme anger and sadness he was feeling over the loss of his wife and children. It is Tony later in the film who says to Pepper “we got lucky.” in reference to the fact they still had each other, Clint had the least luck, losing three children and his wife, we can understand why he turned to such eratic violence.

Once reunited with The Avengers he continues to have a huge role in the film, especially driven by both his desire to bring back his family, and also avenge Natasha’s death which he most likely feels very guilty for. The moment when they all return form the quantum realm except her, and Clint is seen crying is very emotional, and his role in the fight against Thanos is not one he takes lightning. Clint even carries the Infinity Gauntlet for a large proportion of the final fight scene, we thank him for his incredible service! Endgame was definitely Clint’s film. He had a big part in many of the most emotional/nail biting scenes, and dint just spend the whole thing under the mind control of the main villain! Really glad he got to shine through and find his spotlight, and I can't wait for what the Hawkeye series will have to offer.

Banner

“I put the brains and the braun together.”

Okay so when I first saw the Doctor Hulk combo I HATED IT. I remember turning to my friend in the cinema and just going “I hate it I hate it I hate it get it away from me” but then by the end of the film I won't lie, I loved it. I love that he now has the best sides of both banner and Hulk, the funny/smart/kind side, put together with the incredible strength of The Hulk actually makes for a pretty powerful avenger, even standing up to Thor at one point when he asks him to take his hands off him. Banner had some great comedy bits, including when he makes fun of Scott when the kids don't wanna take a picture with him, and the hilarious part when he punches the taxi in New York, but also some important emotional roles. His upset when he discovers Natasha is dead is evident, explaining how he misses her to Steve later in the film, and this is definitely used as a drive for what he goes on to do. He sacrifices his life and uses the gauntlet to bring everyone back, BANNER DID THAT. Can we start appreciating him more now???? THANKS. No but seriously this was a very important moment for him, and was like the finale of the great character arc we have seen over the last 3 films he has been in. In Ragnaork he struggles with his relationship with the Hulk, still being unable to control when he changes from Hulk to Banner, stuck in either when least convenient, nd always under the control of Hulk. In Infinity War, it’s almost like the two are so connected, and hulk is so aware of Banner’s experience that he begins to control when he doesn't want to come out, rather than when he does. The two are much more like a duo, understanding of each other but stilll not necessarily working together. in Endgame they finally merge, forming a mutual relationship where each benefits wonderfully from the other. I’m really happy for Banner reaching this state. I don't know if his character will appear in anymore MCU films to come, but his character arc has certainly reached a satisfying end, and I believe, despite the sadness of losing Natasha, he has a reached a place of peace and happiness.

Tony

“I love you 3000.”

THE BIG SAD. Still can't believe he is dead. The corner stone of the MCU, the man who made it all happen, how can we ever thank Tony Stark enough? short answer: we can’t, but I'll damn well try. Tony Stark has had perhaps the greatest character arc of them all. Growing from being an arrogant, selfish, greedy businessman who sold weapons and funded wars now sacrifices his life for the entire universe, despite knowing he will leave behind his child and wife alone. It is so painful watching the film for the second time, seeing how desperate he is to not lose what he’s got (Morgan), knowing the whole time what is to happen a the end, yet also a sense of pride emerges. It is heartbreaking to know he will in fact die, but also incredible to know that even despite all his personal feelings, he will always put his family, The Avengers and the rest of the beings in the universe before him because THAT is who Tony Stark is. it doesn't matter who he once was, he has grown beautifully as a character, and has the hero’s death he properly deserves. When  Pepper said “you can rest now.” to him I absolutely BAWLED. very good. Awful and painful, but very good.

Also just Tony as a dad, although we didn't get to see it for very long, was a great position to see his character in. He keeps that classic Stark sense of humour “go to bed or I'll sell your toys” whilst also it is immensely clear to see how much being a father has matured him. Although in reality, he is not only a father to Morgan, but Peter too, and choosing to have him die in front of him was truly a STAB to the gut, but also important I think for Peters development now. He will have to go it alone now, without the support of his guardian, which will be a good way to ensure his character can grow independently. Stark was clearly torn up over Peter’s death in a way only a father would, and Peter im sure will carry this bond with him for as long as he lives. I hope to see Morgan and Peter connect in Far From Home, that would be really special, and the perfect way of carrying Tony’s memory.

Thank you to Tony, and RDJ for the incredible 11 years in the MCU, we just could no be here without you, you can rest now, but know you are in our hearts forever.

RIP Tony x

Steve

“You gonna tell me about her?”

“No, I don't think I will.”

Guys okay so I cried at Tony and Nat’s death, but NOTHING got me like Steve’s final scene let me TELL YOU, but first we will start earlier on. 

Steve has a very classic role int he first half on the film, comforting Nat when she needs it, helping Tony, devising the plan etc but he really shines in his trip to New York, the final battle scene, and of course his finale. 

The scene where he fights himself was really great, and the lines “I can do this all day” “yeah I know” was AMAZING! Not to mention the iconic callback to the elevator scene with the added ‘hail hydra’. The Russo Brothers did an excellent job in ensuring the revisited all the best parts of cap’s time in the MCU in Endgame for sure. But, the best bit came in the final fight scene WHEN HE LIFTED MJOLNIR. I SCREAMED. I genuinely don't think I have ever been so excited in an MCU film in my life, when the hammer came flying through the air I thought at first it was going to be Captain Marvel (which would have been cool too) but when it was him I YELLED. I simultaneously couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing whilst also thinking it was the most obvious thing ever. OF COURSE Steve can lift the hammer, of course he is worthy. The added line of Thor saying: “I knew it!” was just perfect too, with their mid-battle banter yet again “you have the little one, I'll take the big one.” much like in Infinity war with “I see you’ve copied my beard!”. Another great moment was of course the: “Avengers... assemble.” which I also absolutely screeched at. INCREDIBLE CINEMA.

But, despite all this excitement and incredible action Steve’s character got, his best part in the film by far was his final goodbye to Sam and Bucky. When he left to put the stones back something in me knew he wasn't going to come back, and although it was sad, it was also relieving in a way. To know he must be going to find Peggy, and to know he would finally “get some of that life” he had always wanted, and find happiness with her was beautiful. When the camera panned round to him on the bench, it was extremely clever to (as he was older and more shrunken) depict him looking the exact way pre-serum Steve did in The First Avenger, with a similar jacket and smaller frame. At first I thought it somehow was younger him, and It was only seeing his face that made me realise that was not the case. By this post I was properly crying. Like tears streaming down my face hiding my sobs crying. His passing of the shield onto Sam was incredibly moving, and before he left to the see when Bucky and him joke about not doing anything stupid whilst he’s gone was also a perfect goodbye. When he went to put his hand on Sam’s and it showed he had a wedding ring, I honestly couldn't even see through my tears, and that final scene. That final scene. The camera panning through the window, the soft music, the slow turning of the camera to reveal Peggy dancing with Steve, I let out what I think is the ugliest noise I have ever made. a full blown SOB. I was actually uncontrollable, the lights went up in the cinema and I just kept going, still crying a good five minutes later. It was an ending that, now it’s happened, seemed so obvious, yet I never saw it coming. Of course The Avengers’ saga had to end that way. The beauty of the ending was that it wasn’t really an ending at all, but a beginning. Yes, Steve has reached the end of his time as an Avenger, but he was only just starting his true, long life he has ahead of him. The perfect finale.

CONCLUSION

I loved this film. I think it did wonders for all the main characters, and to know I know live in a world with no more Avengers films to come is devastating, but I'm just happy I was alive to see them happen, and to be a part of this wonderful community.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! Check back next Thursday for my post on storylines/events!

Lara x

[chibimultishipper]

Zerhys prompt: dinner party

(Okay so just a heads up, this prompt request will be split into parts!  I was writing the dinner party out and it was just getting much to long, so here is part 1!)

(Slight AU in which Zer0 and Rhys’ friends have no idea they are dating each other.)

Rhys had been trying to keep his relationship with his current datefriend a secret from his friends.  It wasn’t that he was ashamed of Zer0 or anything like that, he just knew his friends could be very judgemental.  Vaughn and Yvette were overprotective and Sasha and Fiona were skeptical of just about anything.  He wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow thought Zer0 was just using him for free weapons or whatever.

On the other hand, Zer0 had also kept their relationship a secret from their friends.  Okay, secret was a strong word, they just never told them.  When Rhys had asked out of sheer curiosity Zer0 shrugged and stated “They have not asked me.”  Which in Zer0 terms was a pretty valid argument.  Rhys also had no right to judge since he had been actively avoiding telling his own friends.

Rhys would have honestly been content with just keeping quiet for another year, maybe two, but he got too comfortable.  

You see, Zer0 was still one of the best assassins out there, so Rhys often hired them for missions.  He strictly forbade all romantic interactions when on Atlas property.  Rhys excuse was that he had an ‘image to maintain.’  Zer0 had for some reason found that hilarious, but respected his wishes.

Then Rhys got greedy.

He figured a little flirting was fine as long as he was in the office.  He wanted to blame Zer0, since they had originally instigated with heart emojis and suggestive banter but it was really his own fault.  Rhys had to admit that he was a huge sap and that ended up being his downfall.  After giving Zer0 another assignment, Rhys had leaned over and quickly kissed their helmet.  It was something so simple, just a quick peck, but of course Yvette had to open the door at that EXACT moment.

Before Rhys could explain, Yvette briefly apologized, left some papers on his desk and left.  Rhys silently hoped that she wouldn’t mention it once Zer0 left, and she didn’t.  However an hour later he got many angry texts and voicemails from Sasha and Fiona and also Vaughn coming into his office screaming about “Making out with a highly trained assassin who could kill you in seconds!”

They didn’t take the news well.  Overall, they seemed more upset that he didn’t say anything and assumed the reason was because Zer0 was secretly holding him hostage. (“Blink twice if you’re in trouble.” Sasha had joked at one point).  They were all very adamant about meeting his new partner so they could “size them up” as they put it, whatever that means.

Okay so that was fine.  He knew he had to go through this at some point.  He hadn’t expected to keep their relationship a secret forever after all.  Also, he could handle his friends.  He knew that at the end of the day they just wanted the best for him and even if for some reason they didn’t approve of Zer0, he would tell them that it wasn’t their choice to make.

No, what really threw him off guard was when after he returned home and received a knock on his door.  Opening it revealed Zer0 covered in blood.

“Are you okay?” Rhys asked on reflex.  It was a silly question really, the blood on their suit was clearly not theirs.  Still, Rhys felt the need to make sure.

“We have a problem.” Zer0 said walking in.

“Zer0…” Rhys scolded as blood dripped onto the floor.  Thank goodness the apartment was hard wood.

“Sorry, I’ll help clean later.”  They promised.

“Okay good you know how squeamish I get.” Rhys said with a smile, but it fell from his face when Zer0 didn’t follow up with a witty comment.  “What’s wrong?”

“Do not freak out Rhys.”

That was not the right thing to say, as Rhys was already pre freaking out. “What? What happened?”

Zer0 shifted from one leg to another, a habit Rhys noticed they had whenever dealing with awkward or uncomfortable conversation. “My friends are aware / we are dating. Meeting is / inevitable. “

Rhys paused as he processed the information.  And then the panic began to set in. “So you’re telling me that not only do my friends want to meet you but now your friends want to meet me?” Rhys groaned. “This is the worst case scenario.  What if your friends don’t like me? What if they think I’m lame? What if they help you realize how lame I really am and you break up with me because I am so lame.”

“I’m fully aware / of how lame you currently / are. I still like you.” [ :) ]

Rhys raised an eyebrow. “Is that suppose to make me feel better?”  Zer0 nodded. “It doesn’t.” [ :( ] “Okay… it does but just a little!” [:D]

“My comrades often / spend time at Moxxi’s.  I can / accompany you.”

“No no no.” Rhys groaned. “Sanctuary is basically there turf.  They know the layout the best.  No, we should all meet at least on equal ground. Oh, better yet let’s meet up in a place they’ve never been!  It’ll throw them off guard.  Unfamiliar territory, that’s a thing right?”

“They’re not enemies.” [:/]

“I know that! I just feel it would be easier for everyone to meet each other somewhere I’m comfortable in. It’ll help me be less nervous.  Oh! We could get everything out of the way and invite my friends too!  Most of them already know who you are after the traveler mission but they don’t KNOW know you.  And then our friends could meet each other! Hopefully keep each other busy and keep some attention off us, the perfect strategy.”

[?] “You’re overthinking again.”

Rhys shook his head. “Zer0 this is your first time around the relationship rodeo isn’t it? You have no idea how big of a deal this moment is!  I mean our friends meeting us and also each other is like, it’s like in movies when the couples family meet each other.  If for whatever reason they hate each other or the other’s partner that’s it!  Wacky Shenanigans that lead to complete turmoil and potential ending of relationships!”

Zer0 was almost positive that Rhys was blowing things out of proportion.  Rhys was known for being a bit dramatic.  Still, they had spend many nights in watching movies and TV shows with Rhys.  Plus, Zer0 still didn’t fully understand human relationship customs.  Maybe Rhys had a point…  “It’s that serious?”

“Yes! That is what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

Zer0 nodded in understanding.  “Then we should come up with a / strategy.  Ideas?”

Rhys grinned.  “Now you’re talking!  As I was saying, if we have everyone meet at the same time not only would it get both awkward encounters out the way, but also draw some attention off us.  But we need to set up a place to meet where you and I are both comfortable.  That will throw both of our friend groups off guard.  That’s going to be pretty tough though…”

Zer0 tried to think of a place that would be new to both parties, make them slightly uncomfortable, and give the two of them the advantage.  The struggle was Zer0’s friends were vastly different from Rhys’ so it didn’t leave a lot of options.  Zer0 turned to look around the apartment.  “Have any of your / friends visited this place yet?”  Zer0 asked.  Rhys had recently got a new apartment with his new Atlas money.

Rhys shook his head no. “Only Vaughn, he helped me move in.  No one else has seen it yet.  Why?”  [:D] “Oh my gosh Zer0 you are absolutely brilliant, I could kiss the beautiful mask of yours.”

“Later.” [;)] “First we must /  think of a way to /  convince them to come without  / raising suspicion.”

“Okay let me think, what can I offer here that can simultaneously  convince a bunch of vault hunters and former Hyperion now Atlas employees to come over to my apartment?” Rhys questioned.

“Something in common?” [?]

Rhys bit his lip. “Something they all have in common? Uh they’re all human?” Rhys joked. [:/]   “Yeah sorry that wasn’t funny.  Alright um-”  Rhys glanced over at his unused kitchen and snapped his fingers. “Food! That’s what they have in common they all love food! Right?”  He turned towards Zer0 for confirmation and was reinvigorated when Zer0 nodded.  “Alright I have the perfect idea! A dinner party! It can be semi formal.  You know, not too formal but formal enough to make everyone uncomfortable.”

Zer0 didn’t looked impressed.  “Rhys, you cannot cook.  At all.”

Rhys scoffed. “I can cook alright?  I can make basic stuff.”  

“You will need food for / at the very least / ten people.  I am unsure / if it’s possible.”

“Yvette is great at cooking so I’ll just ask for some of her recipes.  How hard is it to follow a recipe.” [ … ] “Come on Ze, have a little faith in me? Please?”  With that Rhys batted his eyes at the assassin.

Zer0 still seemed unconvinced, but they showed their support with a heart emoji. [  “I will assist in / anyway I can.  When should / We host the event?”

“Can you see if your friends will be free this Saturday night?  It’ll give us time to get the ingredients and do any prepping.  It’ll also give everyone time to find something formal to wear.”

Zer0 pulled up their Echo and began to send messages to everyone in the vault hunter squad.  “I’ve notified them / I should hear back shortly.  Are / you sure about this?”  Zer0 asked.  It was more of a formality since they had already sent the invitations.

Rhys laughed nervously.  “As sure as I’ll ever be.  Operation dinner party is a go.  Don’t worry, we are going to nail this.”

They weren’t going to nail this.  

(That’s it for part 1! I am definitely going to continue this so keep a lookout!

[calleo-bricriu]

I think it’s time to put the cards down for awhile but, before I do...

I have no earthly clue why I do things like this to myself but it is in line with me forgetting to introduce myself to anyone until we're several conversations in.

So this layout is essentially meant to interview a deck.

Goes in a standard 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

1: Please introduce yourself. 2: Your strengths as a deck. 3: Your limitations as a deck. 4: What can I learn from you? 5: What is the best way to work with you (I'm assuming hands)? 6: Outcome of our relationship.

Let's see what this stack of weird art bastards has to say about itself, as it sure had a lot to say about me earlier tonight.

And, for the "introduce yourself" we get the Devil. See, I've been telling people this deck has a wicked and kind of obnoxious sense of humour and sarcasm and there it is.

"Hi, I'm the Bosch Tarot Deck and welcome to Jackass!"

Well, you're right you're stuck with me especially after that. Nice to know it thinks it's addictive, creepy to have all the sexual references in there. Just going to assume whatever's attached to the deck has no problems peeping out of its locked box when it thinks something interesting is going on.

I guess if it doesn't bother the deck, it doesn't bother me. I should reiterate that this introduction card neither surprises or upsets me; this bastard deck has had a mouth on it since I picked it up, and it's the main reason that isn't artwork related that I enjoy it.

Strengths as a deck gives us Eight of Pentacles and a deck that's, I guess, new to the job--or whatever is attached to it is, but it's a hard working, always learning, productive, ambitious and confident in itself because of all those preceding traits. Also seems to be weirdly dedicated but I can't tell if that's just to me or to figuring itself out or to figuring out what the hell I'm talking about.

Limitations as a deck threw the Ace of Pentacles so I guess it's not very good at giving financial advice which is entirely fair as, neither am I. I am, however, good enough with them to know not to make financial decisions based on a tarot deck, so we're still on the same page here. This has all the energy of, "Listen, if I tell you you should invest in something you absolutely should do the opposite. I don't know how to make a budget."

Ah yes, what can I learn from you, the deck?  The Moon. Well, I can either leap off of the intuition I already have and right into a pool of the deck being purposely shady or pointing out that I've missed something I definitely should have missed. If it tells me it's going to stab me with some mood swings and anxiety, I have benzos for that so good luck.

Or you know it might just be going with something along the lines of, "Hey, as long as you walk face first into this with good intentions, it'll be fine. You want to get shady and we'll purposely fuck you over."

Fair enough.

Best way to work with the deck: Page of Pentacles. Toss doubts aside and jump right in, evidently. So, what I've been doing from the start.

Outcome of my relationship with the deck--and vice versa: Weirdy, beardy smart man (Okay, the Hierophant) who will probably infodump a lot on you in and out of readings and who people inexplicably ask for advice. If existing traditions aren't doing it for us, screw 'em, and make something up that does because other peoples' beliefs aren't my (or the deck's) problem or concern.

This deck would talk for hours (or until I ran out of cards) if I let it, so it's not surprising that it doesn't seem to mind when I do.

[thedargonden]

[8] THE TRUTH

October 23rd, XX19

3:00 PM

Tafla sits quietly on the sofa drinking a cup of tea. The look on the green dragon's face is distant and a bit sad.

As someone walks up to the hallway door to her right, she shakes her head and puts on a quick smile.

Orie emerges from the hallway with a face that shows she has something on her mind. When she looks up and sees Tafla, she smiles at her.

ORIE: "Oh, hi Tafla!"

TAFLA: "Orie! How are you?"

ORIE: "I'm alright. I was just going to play my game in here, but you probably aren't that interested in Celeste. I'll play it later."

TAFLA: "No, no, don't let me get in the way of your game. Come sit with me! Tell me all about... Celets?"

Tafla motions Orie over toward the empty sofa seat to her left.

ORIE: "It's Celeste, Tafla, haha."

Orie sits on the sofa with Tafla and starts to reach the controller with her left hand before quickly switching to her right.

ORIE: "It's about this girl who's trying to climb a mountain while also dealing with her own depression. She's a really cute, mostly positive person who tends to have trouble staying on top of her anxiety.

She tries helping everyone she can, maybe even to a fault, and after everything is still determined to climb the mountain."

Tafla takes a sip of her tea and shoots a smirk at Orie.

TAFLA: "Sounds a lot like you, Orie."

ORIE: "You know, I was thinking about that earlier and I kinda agree.

Oh, also a week ago when I played last, I was just getting to a climactic encounter with her 'other self' who is essentially a purple embodiment of her anxiety and depression given form, which honestly reminds me a lot of Phoenix, haha..."

Orie starts the game on her switch and puts the controller on the sofa right in front of her.

TAFLA: "Is this one of those hands free games where you don't even need to use the controller to play?"

ORIE: "What do you mean?"

TAFLA: "Your injury. How are you going to play it with that?"

All 4 of Orie's eyes widen as she realizes she can't play the game with this injury.

ORIE: "Noooooooo!

Whyyyyyyy!"

TAFLA: "Aw, Orie! I'm sorry! I can look into the game another time!"

Orie sets the controller down and turns the switch off.

ORIE: "No, it's okay. This injury is just so frustrating!"

TAFLA: "I bet..."

The room becomes quiet as the two dragons stare around the room. Tafla sips the rest of her tea, then sets the teacup and plate on the coffee table in front of them both and looks to the redwood floor.

Orie closes all four of her eyes and tilts her head up toward the white ceiling.

She taps the sofa with her right arm unconsciously and sighs.

ORIE: "Hey... Tafla...?"

Tafla quickly looks over to Orie with concern.

TAFLA: "Yes?"

ORIE: "I've been meaning to ask... you mentioned something to Phoenix about my biological hatchparent and guardparent..."

She opens her eyes and looks to Tafla.

ORIE: "What were they like...? What happened to them...? All you've ever told me about my hatchparent is that he's a healing sorcerer..."

Tafla is surprised by the question and her mind starts racing to figure out what to say.

TAFLA: "W- well... uhm... I certainly didn't expect this question to be asked right now...

H-hey... Orie, do you want some tea? I'm going to go make some tea for you. Give me one second."

Tafla gets up and brings her tea cup with her to the kitchen in the same room.

ORIE: "That's not really an answer..."

Tafla ignores Orie and continues getting a box of tea bags and sugar out of the cupboard.

ORIE: "Hey. Tafla..."

She proceeds to get out more tea cups and at the same time takes a couple tea bags out of the box. She lays the bags inside the tea pot. Orie gets up to move toward the kitchen

ORIE: "Tafla?"

She begins to pour the already hot water from the kettle into the teapot. Orie stops near the fridge.

ORIE: "Tafla! Please tell me!"

Tafla drops the kettle into the teapot, breaking it, and pouring hot water all over herself.

TAFLA: "Agh!"

Tafla turns around to face Orie.

TAFLA: "Look, I'm sorry... I just... I don't know what I can tell you... I'm afraid you'd be upset if you found out the truth."

ORIE: "I'm getting more upset not knowing, Tafla!"

Tears begin to form in Orie's bottom eyes and Tafla sighs.

TAFLA: "I know... and I'm sorry, but I can't tell you right now..."

ORIE: "Why not! It’s MY hatchparent!"

TAFLA: "..."

ORIE: "I deserve to know! You never have told me anything important about them! You always skirt around details and pretend like it’s fine! PLEASE TELL ME!"

TAFLA: “I... I don’t know what to say! You’re putting me on the spot here.”

ORIE: “UAHGH!”

Orie’s tears begin to trickle fast down her face.

ORIE: “Why don’t you trust me with any information about my family??”

As Tafla is at a loss for words, Orie steps toward the hallway.

TAFLA: "Orie!"

Orie runs into the hallway and down the basement stairs next to Phoenix's doorway with tears streaming from her face.

Tafla stands in the hot water from the spill, looking around for a towel to clean herself up.

She sighs and looks to the wet ground.

She sends a telepathic message to Orie,

TAFLA: ⦕Orie... I'll tell you soon... I promise... Just give me some time to clear my thoughts and mind...⦖

Tafla reaches for a small towel hanging on the fridge handle. and puts it on the floor to wipe the mess up.

Meanwhile, in Phoenix's room...

PHOENIX: "Hey, Arakados. Was that just Orie running by, crying?"

Arakados is completely entranced by Phoenix's computer. They look up at her and give her a confused look.

ARAKADOS: "Hrm?"

PHOENIX: "Orie was crying. I think you should go comfort her."

ARAKADOS: "Oh. Yea yea, gimme a seconderg."

PHOENIX: "She's... your girlfriend. What are you doing that's more important than your girlfriend?"

ARAKADOS: "I'm finishing up for now."

PHOENIX: "Whatever."

Arakados had looked through Phoenix's entire laptop by now. There's nothing left to see.

No secrets.

No nothing.

They check the desktop through the file explorer one more time, click the view tab and zoom out the file layout. They... see nothing new.

They sigh and start to get up....

Before something catches their eye.

Right in the file explorer view options, next to a check box, there's an option that reads 'Hidden items.'

Their eyes widen as they realize this wasn't checked.

They were sure they had clicked it before, but maybe it must have turned off after taking a break and they must have missed something big.

They check that box again for later, and close the laptop.

They get up and begin to move to the basement.

As soon as Arakados is gone, Phoenix quickly gets up and opens the laptop.

She unchecks the 'Hidden items' check box and clicks back to the Home tab of the file explorer, then quickly runs back to her bed.

PHOENIX: "No one can know the truth..."

[porkchop-ao3]

Park Chinois: PART 2/3

Part One - Part Three

The second part to I.C and reader’s date! SFW.

-

The singer, a woman dressed all in red, stepped down off the stage with mic in hand. She strutted down the middle of the room where the table layout created a sort of aisle for her, glancing from patron to patron as she went. Every now and then she'd sing a few lines to one of the tables before spinning around on her way to the next one. When she paused at our table she flashed us both a wink, then she was off. It was quite captivating really, being so involved in her performance. Rick and I watched her, completely entranced. Eventually though, she made her way back to the stage where she was joined by a pair of dancers.

“This wasn't at all what I expected, this is fun!” I told Rick, and he seemed pleased with my reaction.

“I had no idea about this either. It-it's certainly a surprise.” He snorted, though he didn't seem at all displeased by the way the night was turning out.

Our appetizers arrived shortly after that, carried over with grandiosity by the waiter and placed in front of each of us with a beaming smile and well wishes to enjoy our meal. I looked down at the plate in front of me and quickly realised just how stark the food to plate ratio was. Little portions of crab were elegantly stacked in the middle with a drizzle of chilli sauce and a few sprigs of some green stuff. It looked beautiful, but two mouthfuls and the whole thing would be gone. A glance at Rick's plate told me his was the same. On his plate sat a beautifully presented, yet singular dumpling. His face said it all.

“What's this shit?” He snorted.

“Oh, but it's just the appetizer, you wouldn't want anything huge…” I trailed off.

“Yeah but-” he jabbed his fork into his dumpling and held it up. His plate was pretty much empty already. I snorted, and quickly covered my mouth and flashed him an apologetic look. He couldn't help but become amused too, the edges of his mouth lifting despite his attempts at keeping a straight face. “Jesus.” He sighed, shaking his head.

Without further complaint, he stuffed the whole thing in his mouth in one go. I blinked in surprise, watching him chew the entire contents of his plate. He made a pleasant humming sound and shrugged.  

“Tastes alright.” He admitted.

“Well, at least there's that.” I laughed, picking up my knife and fork and cutting myself a small piece of crab, I intended to make mine go a little further than his. It was tasty, and I was sure to savour each bite, no matter how few there were. Rick was back to picking at the bread (which the waiter thankfully left for us), though that was dwindling too.

“Do you want the last piece?” He asked me, nodding towards the remaining slice of sourdough.

“You can have it. I don't want you starving to death, sweetie.” I teased. He rolled his eyes playfully and dipped the bread into some unidentifiable chutney, by the look on his face when he bit into it, he wasn't a fan. He finished the bread without any condiments.

Unsurprisingly it didn't take me long to finish my appetizer, and I couldn't help but wish there was at least a little more of it.

“How was yours? I'm sorry I didn't ask before you finished, I blinked while you were eating it.” He said. Some of Tailor's sarcasm seemed to be rubbing off on him and I snorted.

“It was delicious, thank you. Just enough to whet my appetite, and that's all an appetizer needs to be.” I gave him a grateful smile and sipped my orange juice for the first time that evening. “Holy shit.” I exclaimed, suddenly feeling glad for the loud music, which helped to stifle my curse.

“What?” He asked me, his face dropping, clearly thinking something was wrong.

“This orange juice is incredible, it's the best I've ever tasted. Have you had some?” I asked, taking another big sip. The flavour burst in my mouth like I'd just bitten into an actual orange. I didn't know what I was expecting from freshly squeezed orange juice, but it was clear I'd never actually had it before.

“Mm, yes, squeezed between the thighs of virgins.” He murmured haughtily, picking up his glass and swirling it's contents before taking a dainty sip, pinky out.

“I think you're getting it confused with Cuban cigars.” I laughed harder than I should've and he simply grinned at me. The waiter stopped by our table, noting the empty plates. They were really on it with the service in this place, that was for sure.

“Are you both finished with your appetizers?” He asked us, and Rick and I nodded. “Let me get those plates out of the way for you, did you enjoy your dishes?” He smiled, lifting the empty plates away one by one.

“Yes thank you.” I beamed.

“Absolutely, nothing like a nice, light bite to really make you work up an appetite.” Rick said with a smirk, and I resisted the urge to shake my head at him.

“Well I'm very pleased you enjoyed it! Your next course will be with you shortly, and I hope you're even happier with those.” He smiled widely at us both before adding. “Is there anything I can do for you both in the meantime?”

“No, we're good thank you.” The two of us agreed, and with a nod, the waiter left us.

The singer on stage was no longer singing, she had joined the two dancers in a routine, while the band continued to play instrumental music. Some of the dancers would occasionally step down off the stage and do part of the routine in the aisle, again bringing us into the performance.

“Do you think you'd come here again?” Rick asked me out of the blue, and I thought for a while as I looked at him.

“It's a little early to tell, we haven't had our main meals yet. But if you're trying to find out if I'm having a good time, I am.” I assured him.

“I'm glad. I'm just curious about h-how you're finding living the high life. Like, if this is the kind of thing we should do more often.” He murmured, resting his head on his fist as he watched the dancers.

“If you want my honest thoughts? This is nice and all, but I don't necessarily think we need to do this often. I like our dates, I like exploring new places and chatting with the owners of those small family run restaurants and feeling at home there. I like how sometimes we go to a place and the food is terrible, but it doesn't matter because it was dirt cheap and we can have a laugh about it later. But mostly I just like going to those places with you.” I watched a smile appear on his face as I continued, though he didn't look at me. “I said to Tailor earlier; you could've taken me to McDonald's tonight and I'd have been content cause what's important is we're celebrating together. The fact that you went to all this effort and wanted so badly to give me this experience is a huge bonus.” I explained, still waiting for him to look at me though I could always tell when he was listening carefully because he'd absentmindedly run the tip of his tongue back and forth across his bottom lip.

After a while, he finally turned to look me in the eye. He wordlessly leaned forward, lifting up off his seat just a little, so he could kiss my lips. The kiss was delicate, light, but full of tenderness and it made me forget everything but him. I couldn't care less that this perhaps wasn't the proper place for public displays of affection. I couldn't care less that people might be staring. Let them look! All I cared about was him. And when he finally broke away and realised his tie had been dipping in his drink the entire time, with a chuckle I thought to myself; this is who I am meant to spend the rest of my life with.

As Rick tutted and patted his tie with a napkin he muttered; “This is why I don't wear these things.” sending me into a fit of girlish giggles.

Our main courses arrived very quickly, just like the waiter had said they would. As the plate was lowered down in front of me, I could've laughed until I cried. I frankly didn't know how I kept a straight face. Especially when Rick's was placed in front of him; his face was a blank canvas as he blinked down at his food.

If you'd told me that this was an appetizer, I would've believed you.

My sea bass consisted of a small fillet in the center of the dish, scattered with thin slices of kumquat (which I learned was some kind of orange) and sauce, a sprinkling of herbs. That was about it. I'd maybe get five mouthfuls out of the whole thing if I were to eat ordinary sized bites. Rick's stir fry was presented in a narrow line across his plate, each element neatly and perfectly placed, like every slice of vegetable or chunk of beef had been placed individually by hand. I couldn't deny that the thing was pretty, both dishes were attractive and appetizing, but considering the price, the quantity was a bit of a joke. The more I thought about it, the less surprised I was; posh restaurants typically served small portions, though they were meant to be delicious enough to make up for it. And that was what we were yet to find out.

We both thanked the waiter and he walked away, and as soon as he was out of earshot Rick said;

“Thi-this looks lovely, but… I'm not used to these tiny portions. I'm gonna be starving after this. I'd consider getting dessert but I don't know if I can handle being served a teaspoon of ice cream with a sprig of mint on top.” He just sounded astounded at this point, not even angry or upset.

“I know what you mean, baby, but let's just give it a try, hm?” I said softly, patting the back of his hand before picking up my knife and fork. I gathered a piece of fish along with some of the sauce and kumquat, and Rick tucked in too with a soft sigh. I popped the fish into my mouth, chewed once, twice, and immediately realised; I did not like kumquat. At least not with fish. I didn't let my face betray this though, I smiled as I chewed, nodding my head appreciatively.

“Yep. I don't like ginger with meat.” Rick just came out and said it after swallowing his first bite, his lip turned a little in a grimace. “Th-this is the problem with posh places, they all have weird shit in the food and I think it only tastes good if you've got rich taste buds.”

I accidentally snorted, covering my mouth as I continued to chew through my amusement.

“How's yours?”

“It's good!” I told him, it was almost true. The fish was delicious and cooked perfectly, it was just the sauce it was slathered in I had the issue with.

“Good?” He cocked his brow at me.

“Yeah.” I smiled.

“You don't like it, do you?” He deadpanned.

“I do like it. It's interesting, I've never had anything like this before.” I said, averting my eyes as I went in for another bite.

“It's interesting, huh? You mean gross?” He smirked.

“Rick.” I sighed, feeling my cheeks flush. “It's not terrible, okay? The sauce is just a little weird for my not rich taste buds.”

“I thought so.” He chuckled. “Look, baby, don't eat it if you don't want it. I won't be angry.”

“I want to eat it, it's honestly not that bad if I just scrape off most of the sauce.” I assured him, he laughed again, shaking his head at the ridiculousness of it all.

“Jesus Christ.” He said under his breath through his laughter. “Le-let's just eat up and we can go somewhere else.” He added, spearing some veg and meat and stuffing it into his mouth unceremoniously.

“We don't have to go anywhere else, you've spent enough money.” I shook my head, beginning to feel incredibly guilty.

“Money doesn't matter, don't worry about it, seriously. Th-this is just… let's call it an unsuccessful experiment. It's just a bit of fun in the end.” He shrugged his shoulders. I watched him for a moment and he really did seem unphased by it. He had a soft amused smile lingering on his face, which made me feel a bit better.

I continued eating, getting more and more used to the flavour as I went. By the last few bites I no longer found it all that unpleasant, but it wasn't something I'd ever have again. After finishing I felt pleasantly satisfied. I wasn't particularly full up; I was comfortable, but I knew it wouldn't be long before I was getting peckish.

I drank some more of my orange juice and soon realised how little you actually got. Though the glass was tall, it was incredibly narrow towards the bottom, meaning as soon as you drank what was in the flared out top, the rest of the glass was barely a mouthful. Wow. They can't even be generous with the orange juice? I couldn't help but think the place was a total rip off.

“The thing is, I can tell this is decent food. Someone would like it. It's just not for me, you know?” Rick said as he wrapped up his meal, swigging the last of his drink too.

“I agree. It's high quality, cooked beautifully. It's just not to my taste.” I shrugged.

“I'd prefer going out for a proper steak somewhere. Give me some chunky oven chips like every other restaurant in this country has and I'm happy.” He grinned.

“Trust me, you get bored of those chips very quickly.” I rolled my eyes. They were served with almost every dish in every English pub, it was like there was an abundance of chips and they were just trying to get rid of them.

“I doubt it. A little salt? A little vinegar?” He kissed the tips of his fingers. “And that's coming from a dessert fanatic. Speaking of, d-do you want dessert?”

“Honestly I didn't see anything that caught my fancy when I looked. If we're having pudding I'd rather have something from your truck.” I admitted, shrugging my shoulders a little. The look on his face was a mixture of flattered and proud.

“That can be arranged.” He nodded thoughtfully.

“Of course, if you'd like dessert here, don't let me stop you.” I held my hands up, knowing what a sweet tooth he had.

“Nah, I can almost guarantee my ice cream will be better.” He said without a hint of a joke. I cocked a brow and grinned.

“Ooo, look at you! I like it. Confidence.”

“Hey, I put heart and soul into my ice cream. I-I-I don't just mix up stuff with fancy names, expecting everyone to love it, which I assume is what they'd do here.” He glanced down at his empty plate as if to prove his point.

“Oh, I agree. Yours definitely would be better.”

“Are you both finished?” The waiter appeared out of nowhere again. When we both agreed, he continued. “Could I get you any desserts?”

“Ahh, no thank you. Couldn't possibly eat another bite.” Rick said, leaning back in his chair and patting his stomach. My face must've betrayed my amusement.

“Are you sure? I can bring you the menus again and give you some recommendations, see if I can't tempt you?” He said with a bucket full of charm.

“No, we're good. We'll just have the bill, thanks.” He reiterated, and the waiter nodded.

“I'll just get that for you, sir. How will you be paying?”

“Cash.”

The waiter nodded again and off he went. Rick pulled his wallet out of his inside suit pocket and opened it up. My eyes widened at the thick wad inside.

“Place your bets, baby, how much'll it be?” He grinned at me and I rolled my eyes.

“That's not a fun game, just don't tell me, okay?” I pleaded. He chuckled a little.

“I won't.”

The waiter brought over the bill inside a little leather bound book, he busied himself with checking up on the surrounding tables for a moment. I averted my eyes as Rick looked, and then filled it with the appropriate amount of cash.

“I have no fucking clue how much to tip.” He whispered to me.

“You're the American! I thought tipping was like… part of the culture.” I hissed back.

“Fuck it.” He sighed. Shoving an unknown (to me at least) amount of money into the booklet. He closed it and placed it down on the table and right on cue, the waiter turned back to us.

“Wonderful sir, I do hope everything was to your satisfaction.” He said, gathering up the check.

“Yeah it was all great.” Rick told him, already rising from his seat with a tight lipped smile. It wasn't as if he was trying to be convincing, but the waiter ate it up.

“I'm glad. We hope to see you again soon, enjoy the rest of your evening.”

“Thank you.” I nodded at him and rose to my feet too. Rick held his hand out to me and I took it, he led me through the restaurant back to the entrance, where the bathrooms just happened to be located. He knew me well enough that he automatically waited outside the ladies room for me without me having to ask, I always needed the bathroom before leaving a restaurant and this time was no different. Except part of the reason I wanted to go this time was to check if they had fancy hand lotion in there. They did.

Getting back into the familiarity of Rick's ice cream truck felt like a bit of a relief. It wasn't as though I hadn't enjoyed the evening, I absolutely had, I just felt a little out of place in places like that. It was nice to be able to lean back and feel comfortable away from the prying eyes of well off diners and overly attentive waitstaff. I reached over and touched Rick's knee once he'd climbed in, and he looked over at me.

“Thank you for tonight. I really do appreciate all the effort you went to, and I had a lovely time.” I smiled at him, stroking up and down his thigh just a little. He caught my hand, interlacing our fingers so he could lift it up to kiss the back of it.

“I know it's not been perfect but I'm glad you got something out of it. And we aren't done yet. W-w-we're gonna go to that planet you like and we're gonna fill up on ice cream.” He told me, placing my hand back down on his knee so he could start up the truck.

“The planet with all the stars?” I smiled brightly at him.

“That's the one.”

-

Sitting up on the hood of Rick's truck, indulging in a wafer cone filled with chocolate and caramel ice cream, enjoying the view; was perhaps the highlight of the evening. It was just quiet and calm, the air was warm and the two of us were bathed in light from the sky. Oh, the sky! It was the reason this particular planet was my favourite Rick had ever brought me to. It was night time all the time here, but the sky was lit up with billions and billions of bright stars. I could see the colours of the galaxy we were in swirling and blanketing the whole sky; rich pinks and purples and reds… it was the most breathtaking thing I had ever seen and every time we came here, my words failed me.

Rick was leaning up against the grill of the truck next to me, I could feel him pressed up against the side of my leg and he was staring up at the sky too as he licked his own ice cream. Neither of us had spoken for a long time and that was okay, we could enjoy the easy silence between us. Well, almost silence. Critters could be heard all around us, similar to crickets in that there was a constant harmony of sound from all directions, but here it was a deep bassy hum that I found extremely relaxing.

I'd licked down to the cone of my ice cream, and I crunched through the wafer, disrupting the hum. Rick wasn't far behind me though, so I didn't feel like a noisy nuisance for long, and we soon finished our ice creams. After having some of Rick's delicious ice cream, I was feeling much more full up; it was the perfect end to the evening. Rick eventually turned around, stepping closer to me so he was standing with his tummy against my knees. He brushed his hand across his mouth to remove the residual crumbs from the wafer, and licked his lips.

“Do you want to go back yet?” He asked me; I was quick to shake my head. Wrapping my arms around his shoulders I bent down to kiss his forehead, my lips lingering for a few seconds.

“I want to stay here for a bit, if that's okay.” I whispered, and he nodded.

“Anything you want, baby. I like it here anyway.” He smiled up at me, leaning his hands on the hood of the truck either side of me.

I tilted his chin so I could join our lips, giving him short, sweet kisses until he chased me, keeping our mouths connected for longer. He tilted his head, opening his mouth, he tasted sweet and his tongue was still a little cool from the ice cream. I parted my legs and wrapped them around his waist, perfectly content to stay locked with him like this until I could no longer breathe.

Tbc...

[impracticaldemon]

Chaos Theory: Sasuke Ch 5, Decisions (Indiscretion Part II)

by impracticaldemon

Author’s Note:  This one-shot about Sarutobi Sasuke of the Ikemen Sengoku universe quickly became a 3-chapter story. Now I bring you Chapter 5. Which is actually Chapter 4, Part II. Part I was mostly about Mitsuhide. Part II is about Sasuke and my character, Chieko. 

Please see this post for the Mitsuhide-Sasuke-Kenshin conversation that formed part of the basis for the story (other than chapter 1 - I don’t know where that came from).

NOTE: RATED M for sexual situations and sexual content. Over 7500 words. You’ve been warned.

Words:  ~ 21,000 Total | ~ 3300 per chapter; Ch 4 ~ 4000; Ch 5 ~ 7500 Full Story is also on:  FFN |  AO3     Chapter 1 |  Chapter 2 |  Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 

Written for @iamaikotachibana , and because I have a total weakness for Sasuke myself. Apparently, I also enjoy writing Mitsuhide.  ~ Imp

Chapter 5—Decisions (The Price of Indiscretion Part II)

He looked a little dishevelled, and his face was even more devoid of emotion than usual, but it was definitely the same man who had kissed me—whom I'd kissed—just two hours earlier. Despite everything, I felt a rush of relief, followed by happiness, and then—I blamed my jailor's parting words—a warm, fluttery, excited feeling that I tried my best to set aside. Yeah, good luck with that.

A moment later, Sasuke alighted silently on the tatami. His eyes did a brief sweep of the room, and then he crossed to the window, beckoning me to follow. When I came up beside him, he rested a hand on my shoulder and bent down to my ear. Sadly, his words were prosaic.

"Could you open the window screen and look around for me? I don't want to cause even more problems for you."

The second sentence told me that he was berating himself—might even be quite upset—behind that blank face of his. I tried to ignore my reaction to feeling his soft breath on my ear and neck, and slid open the screen as requested. Then I took my first careful look at my surroundings.

As Mitsuhide had implied, my new room was still in the same living area of the castle, which meant that I was three floors up and facing the back of the castle. There was at least one major difference, however; there was only a short, rather steep eave of tiled roof in front of my window, instead of access onto a much wider area with a comfortable slope.

"Sasuke? You can look for yourself—I don't see anyone."

Sasuke nodded, and peered cautiously out through the window. Unlike me, he gave the layout below only a cursory glance before examining the area above. Shortly afterward, he gently closed the wood and paper shade and slid down to sit on the floor, his back against the wall. I sat down awkwardly beside him, unsure what to do. For lack of better ideas, I took the lid off a nearby ceramic jar. The water inside wasn't for drinking; rather, it was designed to help cool the room. I could use whatever cooling was available.

"Roof access from above is difficult, but not impossible," he murmured, mostly to himself. "But one would be very exposed to attack from both above and below. I believe that Lord Mitsuhide is correct: there is only one reasonably usable access route under present circumstances, and it's internal. That's unfortunate."

"Sasuke? Can we talk?"

He slowly lifted his head and met my eyes, but although he appeared as impassive as usual, I could now see a definite flush in his cheeks. Then his brown eyes flicked away and down for a moment, and it appeared to require a significant effort to drag them back.

"Chieko. I owe you an apology. Two apologies, in fact. I hope you will allow me to at least partially redeem myself." He turned so that he was facing me properly, and bowed deeply. It made me feel very uncomfortable, and rather lonely. "Moushiwake arimasen deshita."

"Sasuke… Whatever you think you're apologizing for, that's way over the top." I tried to keep my tone even, but half-formed anxieties were swirling through my brain. My inner voice—or saner self?— wasn't impressed. You're worrying more about this relationship than about having your life controlled by Mitsuhide! Talk about weird priorities and a previously sub-standard dating life. The whisper in my mind was unaccompanied by Lord Snaky-Smile, but managed to mock me just fine on its own. I pressed on. "No, seriously… Sasuke, if you don't raise your head and start being more twenty-first century boyfriend than sixteenth century ninja, you're really going to start freaking me out."

Sasuke immediately sat up, his eyes wide and just a little panicked—although maybe that was my overactive imagination. He gingerly took my left hand. "So… we're still going out? I wasn't quite sure. It would not be unreasonable for you to change your mind."

"Change my mind?" I repeated, puzzled.

I thought I saw the ghost of a smile cross Sasuke's face. "Most women aren't as resilient as you are when faced with possible imprisonment, torture, and death." He looked thoughtful for a moment, and then added: "Not that I've spoken at length to many women, and none—other than you—who have recently been threatened with those outcomes in my presence. My assumption may be faulty."

"Well, I can't say I'm thrilled about the possible options, but how is it your fault that Mitsuhide has peculiar tastes in recreational activities?"

Sasuke looked away again, although at least he held onto my hand. His response was what I expected—now that I'd thought it through a little.

"Lord Mitsuhide's behaviour is both logical and surprisingly forbearing for this era. He is taking reasonable precautions against being associated with a probable enemy spy should things go wrong. That's much more difficult now that people know he's seen me. He might not have seen me if I'd arrived sooner and left sooner last week. It would have been much less likely, at least. And you wouldn't be under suspicion if he hadn't been able to connect you to me, which was entirely my fault. Among other things, I took a chance by leaving directly through your window. It is only because the Oda warlords hold you in such high regard that you are still relatively free. Unless Lord Mitsuhide has ulterior motives."

I was going to point out that Mitsuhide always had ulterior motives, but something told me that Sasuke already knew that.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were going to follow me here?" I asked. "Mitsuhide wasn't wrong when he said that it was very risky for you. Maybe if I'd known, it would have gone better."

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. "Well… I don't know quite how to say this, but your expression tends to lend itself to openness and honesty—which I admire. However, since I was still hoping to find a way in to see you undetected, I wanted any watchers to assume that you were on your own."

I sighed. "You thought my expression, or whatever, would give you away. Fine. At least you put it more nicely than Mitsuhide. You know, if this is going to be the last time I get to see you for a while, then maybe we could at least sit together for a few minutes?" Do you realize how much you care about this man? Is it getting through to you?

"I'm supposed to be putting together a list of my previous comings and goings. You'll be safer when that's done." I couldn't tell what Sasuke was thinking, but his answer disappointed me. Not that he was wrong, but he'd been a lot more passionate, and a lot less reserved, earlier in the afternoon. Then I told myself to get a grip and be reasonable—the situation had changed since then.

"Oh." I tried for neutral, but it still came out sounding sad.

Sasuke's gaze sharpened, and he scrutinized my face intently. I thought I saw or sensed surprise under the stoic mask. Before I could say anything further, he lifted my hand to his lips and kissed each finger in turn, before pulling me into his lap and cradling me against his chest. As before, his heartbeat wasn't nearly as calm as his expression. I snuggled as close as I could, curling my free hand into his tunic. It was a relief, despite the heat. Note to self: I think I'm falling in love. When did this happen? By return memo: Duh. And work on the meaning of the word 'falling'; we discussed this.

"I wasn't sure what you thought of me, after my inappropriate behaviour with you earlier…" His voice was subdued, and he sounded even guiltier than he had when he'd apologized for getting me into trouble with Mitsuhide and possibly the other Oda warlords.

"Inappropriate behaviour?" I was genuinely confused, and not sure how to react.

"I meant to kiss you, not attack you. Having you fall on me clouded my judgement. I'm very sorry about that. I had hoped to strike a balance between being boldly assertive—as recommended by Lord Shingen—and being respectful of your comfort and boundaries, which is just… just… the right thing to do… Chieko?"

He probably stopped because I was doing my best to remind him that whatever we'd done, we'd done it together. Specifically, I was running my fingers over his neck and upper chest, and liking what I found. He was probably the world's most athletic geek, and he was mine—except for a bit of unfortunate overthinking. Yes, Mitsuhide could theoretically have us arrested, or impounded, or whatever the right word was. But he'd given us until sundown, and that was still quite a ways off. He—Mitsuhide—was undeniably a master at intrigue and deception, and would probably lie sooner than tell the truth, but I was going to bet on him keeping his word within the boundaries he'd set out.

I looked up when Sasuke ran out of words. "You managed boldly assertive very well," I assured him, fingers still stroking the skin just below his collar bone. "And my boundaries appear to be very flexible around you." Or pretty much non-existent. "I'll have you know that I turned down Lord Nobunaga himself—although Hideyoshi almost killed me for objecting to his grabby hands. Nobunaga's hands, I mean."

"Yes… you told me about that. It made me anxious for you—given the more or less absolute rights of high-ranking samurai in this era—but you managed the Oda warlords quite well after that. I still don't know—"

Before he could finish the sentence, I pressed my finger against his lips.

"We don't have unlimited time. You've got to be out of here before sundown—by a reasonable margin so that I don't have a heart attack—and I'm determined to get Mitsuhide to let me resume my normal duties after that. Plus, before you go, you have a list to write."

"…I take it that you're willing to take the chance that Lord Mitsuhide is telling the truth?" I couldn't blame him for sounding dubious.

"About staying out of my—this—room for the rest of the afternoon? Yes. But you're clearly in more danger than I am, so it's your call. What do you want to do? I'm absolutely certain that one way or another you'll get us to Kyoto in time to catch our wormhole home. If you want to write up your note for Mitsuhide, and then figure out the quickest, safest way to leave, I'm good with that." I wouldn't like it very much, and my body wasn't onside at all, but I could be sensible. Probably. Being this close was giving me all sorts of ideas.

Sasuke's stoic demeanour was cracking. He looked visibly conflicted.

"I don't want to make things worse, and they could be much worse. At the same time, I don't want to let go of you. A number of Lord Mitsuhide's actions and comments made me very uncomfortable—about your safety. However, it was clear to me that I had to remain silent; I hypothesize that he was testing my discretion as well as exploring your motives."

"It's okay. I wasn't expecting you to jump out of the ceiling to defend me."

Sasuke was suddenly looking down at me from close quarters, hands on my shoulders and eyes narrowed, as if my words had triggered something that he'd been trying to suppress. This time there was no conflict in his expression, only frustration verging on anger.

"Whether you were expecting me or not, I did want to defend you. I didn't like the way he handled and threatened you." Sasuke's hands tightened on my shoulders. It was finally making sense to me now how a number of Mitsuhide's comments had been aimed at provoking Sasuke, not just me. "I wonder if I've been here too long," he continued. "It wasn't easy to stay hidden. I had to remind myself that you would not appreciate any unnecessary violence, and that I could intervene if something drastic happened—at least for long enough for you to escape."

"Oh no, no, no… We are not going to discuss you sacrificing yourself or anything like that. Nobody dies, and in four or five weeks, we go home."

Sasuke stared at me from behind his glasses, and then his lips twitched briefly into a classic Sasuke smile, complete with hints of humour, self-deprecation, and shyness. "Sorry. That was melodramatic on my part. "

"This whole era is melodrama, isn't it? Though I do my best to keep things moderately normal." I was babbling. The smile was turning me to mush and heating me up all over at the same time. Why wasn't he—oh.

My eyes closed and I drew in a long, deep breath when my hair was brushed aside and warm lips closed gently on my temple, and then trailed kisses down toward my jaw. I wanted to tell him "Good choice, I wanted you to stay," but it came out as something embarrassing like "Finally."

"I couldn't resist," Sasuke murmured in the vicinity of my ear, sounding slightly defensive. "The most rational choice by a significant margin is to leave as soon as possible, but I wanted to kiss you again and your expression..." His teeth gently worried at my lower lip, and one of his hands found its way to the back of my head to pull me closer. I could feel his body tensing against me and under me. "You looked like you wanted—"

"You weren't wrong…" I turned a little and leaned into the kiss, feeling his tongue slip between my lips and the slight hitch in his breath when I shifted further so that I could wrap my arms around his neck.

As though we had all the time in the world at our disposal, we made the most of this kiss, parting to breathe, but never for long. Soft, deep, longing—loving?—kisses; harder, deeper, passionate kisses. Our problems became a hazy blur in my mind, not quite forgotten but worth putting aside for as long as possible.

"I don't pick very good times for this," Sasuke said eventually, looking slightly drunk, and very much the opposite of cool and collected. I tried to find it endearing—I mean, it was—but my mind was more focused on things like "too many damn clothes" and "don't care if somebody walks in so help me…"

"When in the Sengoku," I reminded him, leaning back a little to watch his face.

"Jeopardizing our safety for a kiss?"

"I can totally imagine Masamune saying it was worth it." Not that he would stop with a kiss, if he could get away with it. …Heaven help me I was citing Masamune as a role model.

"Date Masamune is one of the most powerful warlords of this time."

"So? He said you were an excellent ninja—and a surprisingly strong swordsman—as I recall. That's very high praise."

"Yes. While I remain loyal to my current employer—"

"Who is clearly mentally unstable."

"—It is gratifying to have job offers from both Lord Masamune and Lord Mitsuhide."

He sounded calm, but he wasn't, and I didn't want him to be. Problem was, I knew that his head was still in conflict with the rest of him. I'd been there before and recognized the symptoms, even on a super-stoic astrophysicist-ninja. But I'd been listening to his heartbeat, and I was sitting in his lap. Some reactions weren't so easy to hide.

"Sasuke? You always worry about me, but what do you want? I said it was up to you, but you never really answered." His face was already flushed, but his cheeks darkened further. That suggested possibilities that were far more appealing than they should be—given the time and place, and our very new relationship. You must really, really like this guy if a blush is turning you on—turning you on more, that is. I didn't bother to argue.

"I should… prioritize our safety." Sasuke's voice was low-pitched and tense. "There is no rush, probably. For us, I mean. I expect to survive any immediate battles."

"Okay, I guess. But you're dodging the question. Again." I ran my fingers over Sasuke's face, tracing his features and lingering on his mouth, before moving to the line of his jaw. It wasn't playing fair, but Mitsuhide—and Nobunaga, and Masamune, and even mother-hen Hideyoshi—had taught me that life in the Sengoku was pretty much anything but fair, so you had to make up your mind and take some chances. In fact, there weren't any guarantees in modern-day Japan either, just better percentages. Or was I just rationalizing my behaviour? If you need to ask that question…

"…I'm not very good with words." Sasuke's eyes had half-closed, but he opened them in order to study my face again. His gaze still retained a measure of its usual piercing inquiry.

"I don't know about that—you're pretty eloquent on the subject of ground spikes."

I let my hands rest on Sasuke's shoulders, leaving myself open to his scrutiny. I felt pretty self-conscious—who wouldn't?—well, other than about half the Oda warlords, who just didn't do self-conscious—wait, where was I? Trying not to totally throw yourself at the cute ninja while he's in danger of torture and death? Or maybe trying to incite the cute ninja to throw himself at you instead, so that you don't feel quite so guilty about it? …Which isn't very nice. I was reluctantly acknowledging the uncomfortable possibility of the latter, when the cute ninja took my face in an almost crushing grip and kissed me breathless.

Oh wow. In that instant, I caught a glimpse of how Sasuke had accomplished so much in four years: when he was focussed, he was driven. His mouth was greedy on mine, demanding everything, and stealing away every breath and soft moan. I found myself on the tatami under him, with no clear memory of having gotten there and no desire to be anywhere else. Hands as strong as Mitsuhide's—and just as unyielding—held my wrists to the floor by my head. Unlike earlier in the afternoon, I was conscious of having willingly ceded control to somebody a lot stronger and heavier than I was. It was as if I kept having to relearn that Sasuke was a lot more than an awkward Sengoku fanboy cosplaying a sixteenth-century ninja. My body knew it, my heart knew it—wait what?—but my brain persisted in seeing an attractive but awkward grad student.

My lips were abraded and swollen by the time I was allowed to breathe freely again, but it was sensation and need that had choked off my ability to form words. I managed a sound between a moan and a whimper when the next hard kiss found the soft skin just below my left ear and immediately became an insistent, skin-breaking bite. Instead of moving on, as he had with my collarbone earlier in the afternoon, Sasuke continued to deepen the bruise.

"Nnnnnngggh… Sa-suke?" I spoke his name in a hoarse whisper, and his mouth lifted from my neck. A moment later, he let go of my wrists and sat back on his heels, across my hips. When I looked up at him, I saw a kind of grim satisfaction lurking behind the heat in his eyes. His breathing was ragged, and when he spoke, his voice was darker and rougher than it had been before. Maybe I should have been upset, but all I felt was curiosity and rapidly escalating desire.

"…He kept touching you. He deliberately set out to intimidate you by physically restraining you and compelling your obedience. A standard interrogation technique, of course; I know that. I can't fault his reasoning or execution. But the way he went about it—the way he held you and forced you to look at him…" Sasuke took a deep breath, and then scrubbed a hand across his forehead, wiping away sweat and hiding his expression.

He sounded a little more like himself when he spoke next, but still keyed up. "I know that jealousy is a pointless, even reprehensible emotion. Also, being possessive is neither logical, nor appropriate, although it is a common failing. …I never expected to feel this way." The last words were spoken mostly to himself. I found him strangely unapologetic, given his usual courteous and considerate behaviour. Something or someone—probably a mind-reading snake—had pushed buttons that I'd never even considered in relation to Sasuke.

I stared up at him, and lifted a hand to my neck. That was going to be one hell of a bruise, although adrenaline and endorphins were more than compensating for any discomfort. And he'd done it partly—or more than partly—to get back at Mitsuhide in some way? Or as a warning? More like a mark; stop avoiding the thought. The suspicion that I should be concerned about his motivation grew—but I was having trouble thinking much past the weight across my hips. There was nothing mild or dispassionate about the expression on Sasuke's face right now, and that just made me want him more. It was ridiculous, and possibly dangerous, and I didn't need a voice in my head to tell me—again—that the time and place were all wrong.

Sasuke's fingers brushed damp tendrils of hair from my face and rested briefly on my cheek. The gesture wasn't, in itself, suggestive, but there was heat in every contact now, and muscles tightened from my abdomen to my thighs, responsive to his shift in weight. Ridiculous or not, dangerous or not—

"Are you sure you aren't upset with me about this?" he asked suddenly. The fingers skimmed along the fabric covering the line of bruises on my collarbone, and my skin quivered in reaction.

"Positive." I kept my voice as steady as I could. Was he really still worried about that or was there something else? I couldn't tell.

"Or for letting you get trapped here by Lord Mitsuhide?" And very softly: "Without stepping in to help."

"I'm sure. In fact, I'm a lot more worried about y—"

"If you want me to go, you'll have to say so."

I drew in a sharp breath at the uncompromising words, and then all but stopped breathing. I hadn't noticed him unfastening the upper ties of my summer-weight kimono and sheer under-kimono. His hand was now pressed flat against the skin between my breasts. Only my obi, fastened tightly with a bow in the back, held the thin silk and gauzy linen partially closed. Whatever happened now, there was no opium to excuse it.

I licked my lips and swallowed, knowing that he could feel my heart pounding, and the heat of my skin. "I… don't know if I can send you away," I whispered. All of my attention was focused on his hand—strong and lean, a little more calloused than I'd realized; no longer the hand of a twenty-first century grad student. He probably used or trained with a weapon every day. "I should, though." I finally raised my eyes to his, feeling desperately torn. I never should have teased him earlier; I should have known, or guessed, that feelings ran deep with him.

His expression was… I'd never seen or imagined him with that look. Intense, reckless, burning—completely committed to his current path despite knowing the potential costs.

"…You asked me what I wanted. I want to touch you. As much and as far as you'll allow. I want us to be lovers, whatever that means to you. You told Lord Mitsuhide that we weren't exactly lovers, and you only recanted under duress. So tell me"—his free hand set his glasses aside and deftly unwound and discarded the green cowl that sat like a scarf on his shoulders—"what will it take?"

Oh… Oh sweet gods and goddesses… Some part of my mind registered that he'd been hurt by my denial, and I truly regretted that. The rest of me felt his words like a jolt to every lust-inflamed nerve-ending, and I swear my vision blurred. Sasuke had never lost sight of his promise to get me back to the modern day safe and sound, and he'd risked himself time and again to look out for me. But he really wanted this—wanted me—in the here and now.

"I was wrong." My voice wasn't working properly, so I cleared my throat.

Sasuke just kept watching me, both patient and impatient. Focused. The hand on my chest was heavy, even without weight behind it; I wondered if he felt the same heat from that connection as I did.

"I was wrong—about not being lovers. I'm so sorry." I meant it. I'd known better since we first kissed. "Mitsuhide always winds me up, and—"

"Leave him out of this."

Right. "Sasuke…" My head was still playing catch-up with my body, but was no longer so far behind. "You've done as much as anyone could do. You don't need to do more, of prove something, I swear. And"—I reached out to touch his arm, sliding my hand along bone and sinew—"I want what you want."

"The time is wrong… and the place is wrong… We both know that." But his hand moved, caressing the soft curve of one breast through the fine silk.

"Mmmmm… True…" I arched my back and felt my toes curl, just in anticipation of feeling his touch directly on my skin.

"And I can't promise—I don't have—" He caught my head as it fell back, bending down to kiss my lips as his fingers traced circles around a nipple that was already tight with arousal. When he let his palm slide over it and around it, I moaned, and then bit my lip in an effort not to be so loud. I pressed myself upward into his hand, and even more tightly against his hips. The angle was wrong; I couldn't alleviate the heat and tension coiled within the wet folds of overheated skin surrounding both my core and the sensitive bundle of nerves that ached most for a lover's touch.

"What—are—you… nnnggggghhhh…" More slowly than I wanted, Sasuke's hand slid under the still-confining fabric of my kimono and began to stroke the sensitive, sensitized skin beneath; I could feel the tension in his fingers now, and the slight tremor in his body that spoke of forced restraint in the face of overwhelming desire and emotion.

It felt strange to be so vulnerable in front of him, and there wasn't even the cover of darkness to alleviate the feeling. I'd always tried to seem as confident as possible when he'd dropped by, as a matter of pride and so that he wouldn't worry. But now I was almost shaking with need, and pride was crumbling before lust. Good to know the sins have their uses… Even my snarky inner voice was less than coherent.

"Do you think… you could see me—just me—despite the others?" The words were halting, even as he continued to caress my skin. My whole body was burning, aching to be touched more; my hands, balked of the ability to reciprocate, kept reaching out to him, trying to draw him closer. I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me. "I want you, all of you—even at the wrong time… and in the… wrong place." He turned his attention to my other breast, pushing the fabric roughly aside this time. "Will you have me?" His fingers stroked and teased the hard bud of the nipple until I finally managed to wrench him down on top of me so that I could kiss him—lips, throat, chest.

"…Stupid, clingy, ninja clothes…" The tunic was knitted as well as belted—impossible to remove without real effort. I gave up and twisted my hands in Sasuke's hair, kissing him as hard, as demandingly as he'd kissed me before. I loved the feeling of his body on mine, although the hard length of his cock against my thigh was at once exciting and a reminder that there were still decisions to make that I wanted to ignore.

"Chieko." Sasuke grabbed my upper arms, pinning me to the floor and propping himself up on his elbows. "You need to understand—"

"Whatever it is—"

"You are surrounded by powerful men. And I'm not—Oda Nobunaga, or Toyotomi Hideyoshi, or Tokugawa Ieyasu… Or the kitsune, Akechi." The way he said the last name suggested that he wasn't a fan.

"He's more of a snake," I muttered.

"Chieko…"

"Sasuke, I'm all yours. You're going to have to take my word for it, and trust your judgment. That's how it goes."

He buried his face in my chest, wrapping his arms around my waist. Then he found my breast with his mouth, and let his tongue caress the nipple. I clutched at his hair, moaning; how could he not understand what he was doing to me? Or maybe he did. I was already a panting, needy mess by the time he turned his attention to my other breast, still pinning my lower body under his, his strong arms holding me still when I started to writhe.

When he looked up at last, he had the feverish look from before.

"Clothes…"

"Mm-hm." Finally!

I watched with lust-induced unselfconsciousness as Sasuke sat back on his heels and stripped off belt, tunic, and kimono-shirt. It was absolutely worth the wait, I decided, entranced by his sure, swift movements, and the lean torso and tightly-toned arms that emerged from all the fabric. Muscles and tendons stood out in sharp definition under the mostly-smooth skin, and I longed to be able to touch him, to run my hands over it all.

Sure enough, there was a barely-healed wound on his lower ribs, which still looked painful, although Sasuke had evinced no trace of pain in any of his movements. Then I noticed that the forming scar was hardly the only one there. Impelled by concern, my eyes traced the lines—some faint and white, others more puckered. What the hell had happened to him?

I suddenly realized that Sasuke had stopped moving, and was sitting quite still, watching my face. I loved how he looked, stripped to the waist, flushed with desire, and need raced through me all over again—to be held against him, skin to skin, with nothing between us. He looked away for a moment, then shrugged in something like embarrassment, still not quite meeting my eyes.

"I just wasn't fast enough, when I first got here. I underestimated the training required. That's all. I'm fine now. Please don't worry about it."

"That's not going to work for me, but I can put off worrying for a while longer."

"…Thank you." There was real relief in his tone, and then he rose and stood me on my feet in order to first unfasten, and then unwind, my pretty obi. My kimono, free of the belt and already most of the way off my shoulders, slid to the floor and pooled around my feet. In the custom of the time—as strange as it had been, at first—I wore no undergarments other than the under-kimono, and it clung to me for only a moment before following both obi and kimono. For the first time that day, shyness overtook desire, and I was glad to be facing away.

Sasuke's arm wound around me from behind, and a hand brushed my tumbled hair forward off my shoulders so that we were finally skin-to-skin. Desire came flooding back, heat radiating from the place where his arm held me just under my breasts. Then his lips touched my ear, warm and soft and almost too gentle. I clung tightly to his arm, my head falling back against his chest. The sensation on my ear grew stronger, as lips were joined by tongue and teeth. I felt my knees start to buckle, and the rise and fall of Sasuke's chest against my back sped up, his breath becoming more of a rasp. When his free hand moved from exploring the curve on my waist and hip to caressing my breast, I moaned aloud despite myself, and tried to turn so that I could allow my hands free rein over my lover's skin. I didn't get my way, and it was almost too much.

"Sasuke…" His name came out in a rough whisper. I tried again. "Sasuke… please…" The muscles within my core kept contracting, and I was already so wet with desire. I couldn't imagine more sensation, but I craved it in order to find some kind of release. "Touch me everywhere, let me touch you, please…"

I felt, as much as heard, the sharp hiss of indrawn breath, and then the arm around my ribs slid to my waist. After the barest hesitation, warm fingers began to stroke the soft skin of my lower belly, fingertips brushing across the top of the curls of damp hair concealing my most sensitive, most intimate places. I really did stumble then, but I was suddenly picked up and cradled in Sasuke's arms, and held tightly to his chest.

"Chieko… I want you even more than I imagined… I want all of you… But—"

I pulled his head down to mine, kissing the words from his lips, winding my tongue in his. A very short time later, I was gently laid down on something soft—my futon?—and I finally got most of my wish. Almost as soon as I touched the cool linen, Sasuke's weight settled against me, and a leg wound over mine. His lips once again found my mouth, and ear, and neck, as though he couldn't get enough of kissing me and tasting my skin. I pressed myself closer to him, and then ran my hands through his hair, and across his broad shoulders, and down his side, careful of the injury that he seemed to so completely disregard. As soon as his mouth left mine, I set my lips and teeth against his skin and set about marking him as he'd marked me earlier in the afternoon.

"Chieko."

"Mmmm… But it's my turn…" While my mouth teased and sucked and nipped at his skin, my hand trailed down to trace around his hip bone, and then lower still, to slide over the taught muscle of his outer thigh. I was gratified by a distinct, involuntary tremor at my touch. He was still only half-undressed though, which seemed unfair.

"Chieko—wait. How far… I need to know… I can't promise..." To my surprise, Sasuke set his hands on my shoulders and pushed me far enough away that he could see my face. Had I done something wrong?

"Hmm?" Despite my concern, I smiled to see him there beside me, his face no longer expressionless, his skin bare and warm and inviting to the touch. I hadn't really forgotten our situation, but it felt remote, and I hoped it would stay that way for a while longer. "Okay. I'll listen. Promise." I started to reach out again, then pulled back my hand. Was it weird how much I liked touching him?

"Thanks." He pushed damp hair back from his forehead, and then slid his hand down from my shoulder to my hip.

"That's… not helping. If you want me to listen, I mean."

"Right." He carefully stilled his hand, and visibly collected himself, looking aside in the way that he so often did. When he looked up again, his face was nearly devoid of expression for the first time in quite a while. "…There's no adequate method here… not really… of birth control." He kept his eyes steady on mine, and if he was embarrassed it didn't show. That helped, to a point, sort of. "That doesn't mean—that is, there are other ways… to be together."

Of course there were. And I wanted to explore those possibilities—just not right this moment. What I wanted, more than anything, was for us to be as close as we could possibly be, to have him within me, to feel that intense pleasure together, if we could manage it. Part of me was frustrated—almost irritated—that Sasuke hadn't just allowed me—us—to let passion get the better of good sense. It would have been easier. Then it hit me that it was deep, consistent concern and affection—that's a pretty weak word, are you serious?—for me that had made him push me to make a clear decision.

"…Chieko?" The level tone now held a hint of anxiety. "I should have said something sooner—I did try—but that seemed… presumptuous… And it's been difficult to think straight." Yes, yes it had.

"Sasuke." I whispered his name, not out of a need to be quiet, but because I was trying to come to terms with how much he meant to me.

He pulled me close again, and I lay there for a moment, soaking in his warmth.

"You don't—you won't—regret taking a chance?" I asked.

"No." The answer was quick, firm, absolutely certain. I felt my heart pound against my ribs.

"Then… even though it's… totally cliché"—and you know what, dear Snake? cliché isn't so bad—"take me, I'm yours." I couldn't help a grin, all of a sudden elated with life, and laughing at myself for using such an old line, at such a time, and meaning every word of it.

"I—really?" The hopeful surprise in Sasuke's voice just made me want to laugh more, for some reason. When he suddenly pinned me under him, and pressed his forehead to mine, I saw that that he was smiling, although the desire was vivid in the flush on his cheeks and around his eyes. "…I hope you're prepared—I won't go easy on you."

"No—Sasuke—seriously? Anime again?"

But that was as far as I got, as first my mouth was claimed, and then everything else. Feverish hands stroked my body—arms, sides, breasts, hips, belly, thighs—and finally, finally, caressed and explored the slick, wet folds guarding my core. Oh sweet gods… oh fuck… oh wow… My blood roared in my ears, and instead of being able to reciprocate his touch, I felt my head go back with a wordless, desperate moan.

My hips writhed, utterly beyond my control, when fingers slid inside me, tentatively at first but then with greater assurance, stroking my slick inner walls until my muscles began to convulse. More heat—how was that even possible—and then overwhelming, aching sensation, as the pad of his thumb found and rubbed the tight, engorged bundles of nerves at the very apex of my slit.

"Mmmmmm—nnnnnngghhhhhh—Sa-suke—need you—want you—so much…"

A short—but too-long—pause—and then hand and fingers returned, and his mouth suckled a breast, while one leg hooked tightly around mine as if to close whatever gap was possible. His cock, hard and already wet, pressed deep into my thigh, and somewhere among all the rest, I registered intense satisfaction at knowing that we were both finally, completely naked together, skin to skin in the most intimate way.

Sasuke finally shifted, trailing kisses up my chest and neck to my mouth. He was back on top of me again, breathing heavily, eyes unfocussed. My hands clung to his back, fingers tight on his skin, as he ground himself against me. I couldn't hear my own moaning, whimpering sounds for the blood rushing in my ears.

His mouth moved from my lips and neck to my ear.

"Now? Is that… okay?"

"Okay? Yes… any time—please—" I squirmed against him, so wet I would have been embarrassed if I hadn't been completely past rational—or even irrational—thought.

I felt the head of his cock slide over trembling, pulsing folds, press hard against the tight entrance to my core. Then with a low groan that goaded my arousal to desperation, he thrust into me, hard and deep, holding nothing back. I know I cried out, my fingers clawing at his skin as I tried to pull him in ever farther, and deeper. Make me yours, I whispered to him in my mind, and be mine. I want everything you have to give. Then there was nothing left in the world but the need to move together, reaching for and claiming every sweeping wave of pleasure, every intense, scorching moment of our bodies joined together.

When I reached my limit, orgasm overtaking and drowning all other sensation, I found his name on my lips like a prayer, and it tasted sweet and familiar. Sasuke… I think… No, I know… I love you. I cherish you. I want to be with you no matter what. How did this happen to me? My body shuddered around him, and my teeth closed on his shoulder. A moment later, I felt his release within me, hot and hard, all rhythm overset by the short, wild thrusts of climax. His cry was incoherent, his face vulnerable in passion. I love you—I just didn't know, before. I'm happy, so happy that I got to find out. I felt tears on my cheeks, from the still pulsing, overwhelming release, and from emotional overload.

Fingers, strong and competent, brushed away the tears. Sasuke kissed me softly, first on the corner of one eye, then on the cheek, and finally on the lips.

"Chieko—please—please tell me that I didn't hurt you in any way…"

The anxiety in his voice brought me back to myself and reality.

"No… not at all… no. I feel wonderful. Maybe a bit overwhelmed with—with everything. I think we should stay together forever." The last part slipped out unbidden.

To my surprise, Sasuke's response came immediately. "We will." Then he rolled onto his back, pulling me with him to lie in the hollow of his shoulder, bodies still touching all along my length. "I hope you won't mind too much."

I laughed, still quivering and euphoric. "No… And you can show me the stars."

"Yes. Although in point of fact I'm studying astrophysics, not astronomy. …Looking at the stars is just a hobby."

"That's fine, I've noticed you're pretty good at your hobbies."

"Chieko?"

"Mm-hm?"

"I couldn't say this earlier—or rather, I didn't want you to think it was just… a line." I went still, my eyes fixed on his profile. He turned his head, his brown eyes clear and calm. "I love you." He shrugged awkwardly—especially awkwardly since I was lying on one shoulder. "You may already know that, but I wanted to tell you anyway."

On the off chance that you're spying on us, Mitsuhide, I hope this is causing cavities. But… thank you for giving me this. Because I think you did. Maybe. Did you have to shoot my boyfriend first, though?

"This is a pretty good anime," I told Sasuke, finally finding the energy to prop myself up on his—very, very nice—chest. "I'm no expert, but aren't we short a few totally-avoidable misunderstandings and one unnecessary parting?"

"And several interfering friends who try to help but just make things worse. And rain. The next time it rains I'll come find you so that we can kiss in the rain." He sounded thoughtful. Very Sasuke. I gave up on staring into his face and snuggled into him instead.

After several blissful minutes, I finally looked over at the light filtering in around the window-screen. It wasn't fair... I sat up, only a little shy about my tumbled hair and naked body. I let my hand wander over the planes of Sasuke's chest, trying not to think too hard about the scars on his sides, arms, and—now visible—legs. There weren't as many as I'd thought, and he'd obviously made his peace with them. Then I leaned over to kiss his lips.

"You're probably trying to figure out how to say that you have to go without making it sound like you want to go," I told him. "But it's okay. Despite how things went—which I can't regret—I really do want you to be safe."

"…Thank you." Sasuke trapped my hand against his chest, but didn't otherwise move. "We've still got well over an hour until sunset, although I wish it were more. It won't take me long to write a concise report for Lord Mitsuhide—I'm good at reports."

"Oh?" My attempt at being cool and practical was sabotaged by my treacherous body.

"I want to make love to you again."

He said it quietly, but decisively, and I felt my heartbeat rise along with the heat in my cheeks. When he pulled me down on top of him, I went willingly.

[END—FOR NOW]

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[hypeathon]

RWBY - Volume 6, Chapter 4 Production Analysis

Vol 6, Ch 1 Production Analysis

Vol 6, Ch 2 Production Analysis

Vol 6, Ch 3 Production Analysis

Last chapter dropped what is essentially the hydrogen bomb of backstory episodes with the overwhelming amount of blood, sweat and tears from every department in the CRWBY to back it up. Considering that it was only the third of this 14-episode volume, it should come as no surprise that the next episode to follow would be much smaller in scale in terms of production values.

That being said, some fans have still expressed some disappointment that chapter 4 would only be a mere 13-in-a-half minutes. Whether this is considered obvious or not, animation as a professional medium with multiple stages involves quite a bit of scheduling and management, especially for a serialized series. What I’m about to say had already been touched on in the last production analysis, but to reiterate, chapter 3 was one of the most difficult episodes to make thus far, through the script and every other department according to Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross. It was the longest episode to date (excluding ending credits), meaning that there were likely more cuts in storyboards than the average one. Roughly 30 different character models were created which had to be rigged and animated, over a dozen environment models were built, all to present the passage of time for this one episode. This is not even counting the quantity of visual effects utilized, including 2-D effects from Myke Chapman which were new to RWBY.

Having one episode with that amount of time and skill poured in would naturally follow a more conservative episode in some regard. This can be seen all the time in anime TV series depending on their production scheduling. Bleach’s 166th episode was considered a spectacle in its animation through the destructive fight between the characters Ichigo and Grimmjow only for episode 167 to follow with a cool down. Any episode of Naruto, Naruto Shippuden and Boruto that featured extraordinary animation and storyboards throughout like are almost always going to have an episode following with a more standard, run-of-the-mill staff. Even My Hero Academia, despite having various memorably-presented moments such as episode 11 of season 3 will follow with whole episodes lacking in action before picking things back up at a much later one. While this practice may not necessarily be ideal to anime fans, this is how productions of long-running anime are usually kept from falling apart which is especially important in an industry where the amount of anime projects being green-lit increase each year.

Though unlike most anime that are bound to a weekly, 30-minute run-time, RWBY at Rooster Teeth Animation has a bit of a weird advantage as web series by sometimes (though not always) using minute-length to help manage how ambitious or conservative an episode can be. Though narrative beats always play a big factor, this chapter of volume 6 is a classic example of needing to take a breather though its length being roughly half of chapter 3. Pretty much everyone fans know take up screen time this episode, meaning there aren’t new models aside from probably Tyrian with a modified tail. In terms of set pieces, only two new environments were fully designed, one being the trail to Brunswick Farms while the other was the hanging bay outside of Salem’s palace.

One fascinating bit of observation was comparing certain footage this episode to the volume 6 trailer. With one clip so far having not been shown as of the time this analysis will first be posted, every other teaser footage had been in the episodes proper. However, the moments in chapter 4 are the most different. In the moment with Emerald and Tyrian, the setting itself and the lighting changed whereas in the snow trail scene, certain characters are not previously seen carrying their luggage in the trailer. And then there’s Salem delivering the same line with lip-syncing being precise but the camera shots are very different. It’s possible that by the time the trailer needed to be made to show to be publicly available on October 16th, they were not one-hundred percent done with the episode and needed to adjust things in post. which would make sense considering the overwhelming scale of chapter 3′s production. That or they were done and simply omitted moments such as the Grimm arms binding Hazel to avoid teasing too much. Either theory is likely honestly and the latter wouldn’t be the first time Rooster Teeth has done this with RWBY trailers if one were to think back to the second and third volumes. 

Moving on, let’s touch on a bit of something that admittedly has not been highlighted that much in the past couple of posts: the animation. When checking the ending credits, you won’t see the usual names that have been prominent up until now. Whether this is due to them working on later episodes or juggling between working on Gray Haddock’s mecha show, Gen:Lock at around the time this chapter was in production, animators like Asha Bishi, John Yang, Matt Drury or Will Sherburne are not credited here. This is not to raise a concern or to scare fans so much as it is to provide an opportunity for newer names that may not have had a chance to show a bit of what they can do. Luckily, Kaitlin Petras is one such name, who confirmed to have done animations for some of the antagonists, including Tyrian. Combined with animation director, Joel Mann returning to do motion capture for the lovable psychopath who had not done so since chapter 11 of volume 4, fans get to see some delightful character acting. If it hasn’t been clear in previous scenes that Tyrian is the kind of character that tries to earn brownie points from Salem at other’s expenses, his moments here should cement that. The way his eyes and mouth read that he hates to see his leader displeased but loves to watch others get in trouble just emphasizes his rather childish nature. It’s too soon to fully say which sequences in particular were done by Kaitlin, but considering every second of Tyrian was pleasing to watch, her name is worth bearing in mind.

That being said, other characters were given great character acting according how they also channeled fear. Emerald has been put in a difficult state without having Cinder immediately besides her, providing an opportunity for her to feel frightened through her body language and the way the pupils in her eyes shift. There’s even a shot where she feels submissive through the way she slouches but subtly clenches her fist after she and Salem briefly face each other. Hazel was also another character to display fear but channeled it through the need to be stoic, humble and even protective. Even when pinned down, his facial expressions suggest he’s reluctantly willing to accept being punished. And then there’s Salem herself who subdues her anger and channels it into discipline by the way her teeth stay clenched. Though more of a secondary highlight, the animation on the protagonists’ scenes were also done well with Qrow and Ozpin/Oscar in particular expressing vulnerability, bitter anger, shame and helplessness.

Moving on, the storyboards and camera layout were once again a good highlight in both the protagonist and antagonists’ scenes. Although there’s no confirmation and no clear way to tell who did what, the various choices of composition are still noteworthy. In scenes with the antagonists, there were some great establishing and wide angle shots to help fully present the spacial aspect of Salem’s palace and the area surrounding it. The scene also helped to highlight how much Salem’s authority and wrath puts everyone in an inferior and frightened position, despite her not even being on screen in certain shots. This includes Hazel, who is often framed as small in one shot or being towered by her in another. Staying on the subject of Salem’s palace for a second, it’s nice to see how despite being in the Maya and 3DS max animation softwares for a third volume now, it’s fascinating how the meeting room alone has gone through multiple tweaks through the lighting and compositing. Switching gears back to storyboards with the protagonists this time, shots of Ozpin and Oscar are the highlight, with the former being isolated and towered by those opposing him and the latter feeling isolated due to a responsibility placed on him without a choice. Ruby of course is the only one to attempt to comfort Oscar by walking past the one tree that figuratively separates them.

As much praise as there has been given, the last bit to talk about with this episode is unfortunately critical and relates to a debate that has stood out among fans since this episode first premiered. For the record, I’m not the kind of viewer whose ability to enjoy a story is determined by how likable or unlikable characters come off. Moments where characters are in an unusually negative state are welcoming in my eyes so as long as the narrative beats warrant it. Presentation can either add to making bitter sides between characters more understandable and sympathetic or it can hinder all of that. It all ultimately depends on execution. This brings me to the way the main cast responded to Ozpin in the beginning of the episode. When taking not just the events of chapters 1 & 2 of this volume into account, but also select episodes in volume 5, it’s not impossible to see the train of thought behind the collective cast. Everyone at varied points expressed doubt and frustration with Ozpin’s roundabout way of having others involved in his agenda. Yang getting annoyed over promises broken in front of her would naturally lash out the most, with Weiss sharing similar sentiments in a more subdued manner. Blake would be upset but also much more quiet. Ruby firmly asks about the task ahead as her way of keeping her chin up and Oscar is deeply anxious and depressed.

On some level, the reactions in this episode make sense. But the reactions seem to result exclusively in the period in the sentence last episode, being that Salem can’t be killed (or that Ozpin can’t be killed or whatever potential loophole there could be, but this is not the place to debate about that) and not how Ozpin was burdened with the task he was given. The responses could have benefited from being slightly more varied when taking that to account while still expressing anger and anxiety, depending on the character. Speaking of which, Qrow was probably the biggest issue with the execution of the reactions. Never-minding for a moment that a grown man punched a 14 year-old in a manner that kept reminding me of the way Junior got clocked in the Yellow trailer, the behavior itself felt too abrupt. Up until this point, the audience was mostly oblivious to how Qrow was taking all of this in. There was one brief moment where Qrow saw Ozma for the first time in the last chapter and Qrow shaking his head in disbelief in the chapter before that. But otherwise, his anger and resentment, while very sensible in regards to his overall character story as he expressed through dialogue, lacked the proper set-up and leans a bit too heavily as being shocking.

An extra bit of the scene indirectly presenting Qrow’s psyche before and maybe even after he punches Ozpin can go a long way. If say, as he walks towards Ozpin, cuts to still arts in the form of memories of Qrow and Ozpin’s interactions such as a small tease of how they met and what was the turning point that made Qrow be so dedicated can help better sell his anger. This is the kind of thing seen in anime adaptations of popular, long-running Shonen manga and as much as the idea of cutting to flashback clips are subject to ridicule and criticism, there is a valid rhyme and reason for why those techniques are applied in visual direction. It’s also important to time tension or a particular character being emotionally charged through some sort of build-up in a scene. An example that can help illustrate my point would be a scene in One Piece:

  What may seem like a straight-forward argument seen out-of-context is actually considered a fan-favorite moment in the One Piece anime. A big reason for this has to do with the contextual set-up between the straw hat captain, Luffy and injured marksman, Usopp. The latter fought tooth and nail to get the earned money stolen from him to fix the ship he and his crew ridden on until now, only to fail to do so, hence why he’s injured. Meanwhile, at a slightly earlier point, Luffy is told by the shipwrights he consulted with that their ship won’t last another voyage. Luffy initially refused to accept that, but then reluctantly comes to terms with the reality. However, Usopp doesn’t realize that Luffy reacted as strongly as he did and instead sees Luffy casually talking about getting new ships through a catalog and then acts sternly as a captain about getting a new ship. This only comes off as insensitive to Usopp after the trouble he went through to get the stolen money back. All of this results in the scene seen in the above video. And yet even with all of this set-up, the scene doesn’t start immediately with things getting physical. Usopp and Luffy’s argument escalates before it reaches that point and it’s made clear through the choice of music, lighting, and framing. While a one-sided punch is not exactly the same as an argument, the sense of anger built between Qrow and Usopp’s characters are similar enough to draw comparison to and it’s how both characters’ negative emotions are fueled and lashed out through execution. Whether or not this was something considered or doable during the production of this episode is unclear and honestly a whole other can of worms that can be speculated on at another time.

That marks the end of chapter 4′s production analysis which did admittedly bring things down somewhat with the bit of criticism at the end. But that shouldn’t take away from an otherwise well executed transitional episode. When looking at things that way, the events here did what they needed to do and the presentation and production mostly helped to present that to the best of their abilities. As for what is in store next episode, the relatively small credits among the animation team make hint at bigger things to come somewhere down the line. We’ll just have to wait and see.