#please tell me I’m not the only person who hated Louise

[callipraxia]

This. For major characters, I tend to judge on the basis of “can I understand why this character is this way, or imagine seeing the world from their point of view?” Like, just being obnoxious for the sake of obnoxiousness falls a bit flat for me, but I am fonder, 9 times out of ten, of a character who is well-flawed than one who is generically likeable.

‘Course, it probably helps that I sometimes have an…atypical…attitude toward what constitutes obnoxiousness. I caused a minor scandal in my college Adolescent Literature class when we read Jacob Have I Loved by announcing that I thought Louise was a whiny jerk whose role as narrator made the book almost unreadably annoying and that I regarded Caroline as an infinitely more likeable and sympathetic character. I was super-confused, since I thought that the whole point was to show that Louise was an epic-grade loser who needed to get over herself and stop blaming her sister for her own shortcomings instead of working on herself. There was Heated Debate. But the point stands.

“your characters need to be likeable” allow me to introduce you to the very worst guy who ever lived

[babsvibes]

Logan is my favorite too! I find myself defending him more than necessary though. You said "I get why people hate the kid" so what's your take on the fandom hate?

Oh sweet darling, I am giving you a hot chocolate and sending my love 💕 I’m right there with you. Logan has all these fun lines and traits that help create stories that actually challenge our other beloved character, so of course people adore him. And, also, of course people hate him. If you want a seminar on how to soften people to this little shit (affectionate), that’s a different long post lol. Right now, we’ll deal with fandom perception.

My take is that it’s easy to hate Logan, especially if you’re looking surface level. He’s an antagonist, a teen antagonist who is going to make teen mistakes at that. He and a fan fave butt heads. If a person doesn’t want to think about why he might act the way he does (and they’re not obligated to even if there is material to draw conclusions from), then it’s an uncomplicated issue. Where it gets complicated is how people express those views. I’ll get into this in a sec, but first here’s a practical method to dealing with hate.

Ask yourself two things when you come across something that makes you uncomfortable:

Was this created to hurt me specifically? If yes, then block and filter to the best of your ability. Nothing you can do will force that person to feel empathy or gain perspective outside of themselves.

If it was not created to intentionally hurt you, ask why you’re uncomfortable? What might be the reason for the creator to make something that causes discomfort, and can you find it in you to allow other people the chance to make their own choices?

People will always have a storm of nuance hiding just under the skin, but how we choose to act on and react to that nuance defines us. Bringing us to a funny thing about fandom reactions. Mentions of death threats below the read more.

The main problem I have with fandom hate is that, because some viewers equate Louise to a person with the ability to feel and react, that means they have the ability to justify calling me an abuse apologist while simultaneously telling me to kill myself. That’s a real thing that has happened btw, and I wish I was exaggerating lol. Other instances of fandom nonsense like tagging ships and characters in hate are also pretty common.

What helps is to practice critical thinking as to why a person might be driven to act the way they do (I know, it’s crazy that you can use these principles for more than analyzing media lol). More often than not, it’s someone facing a feeling of powerlessness in their life. This can be for any number of reasons. Besides the general state of the world constantly crunching out powerlessness, maybe it’s a teenager who doesn’t have a lot of control over their own life. They’re experiencing more of the world and learning terms for behaviors that are Wrong but have little power to make change or Fix it. Creating spite fic and art and sending hate allows a person to reclaim their power in a way that feels justified and uncomplicated. The mean boy gets punished and the mean people who like him can be sad about it. Boom, easy, done.

And please don’t think I’m guiltless. It’s My Party was originally conceived as a spite fic. The meaning changed before it got posted, became something more with a purpose outside of spite, but it doesn’t stop that I was feeling that powerlessness—that the people posting in the character tag and ship tag about how much they hate my favorite stuff, sending me death threats, etc. can do so without consequence. My only form of power is to block and move on, but I was struggling with the moving on part. That’s what I think about when I see people trying to harsh my mellow. They’re feeling powerless, and this will help them move on eventually.

It sucks. It really does. But if you keep making content, supporting creators, and talking with people who DO enjoy your thing then you will eventually drown out the negative voices. I promise.

[celest1all]

arkham's finest • (1)

pairing: jerome valeska x fem!reader

chapter summary: [Y/N] and Jerome finally cross paths

warning(s): swearing, mentions of murder, badly written, let me know if I've missed any.

authors note: this is terrible I'm sorry lmao. also, if you want to change louise's name to something else, feel free lmao she doesn't really add anything to the story.

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For a whole month, [Y/N] hadn’t been so bored. If there was one thing she hated, it was routine. Wake up, take the meds she was given in a small plastic cup, go down to the common area and interact with nut jobs. Oh, but if she was lucky, she might get to talk to one of the underpaid psychiatrists that Arkham provided. That was only once a fortnight, though.

So to say she was bored was an understatement. [Y/N] needed the rush, the feel of the outside breeze against her face when she was running away from a crime scene. She needed something to take her mind off of the storm in her mind, and there was no way in hell she was able to get that inside a mental institution.

Thankfully and unbeknownst to her, [Y/N]’s saving grace was going to arrive in the form of a red-headed, damaged eighteen year old who was just as psychotic as her, if not more...

-----

[Y/N] was sat on the one of the chairs in the common room, scribbling down in one of the provided notepads. It was something one of the psychiatrists suggested she do to let out her feelings before she managed to scare them off. Bullshit, as she called it.

Even though the routine was the same as what she did the day before, and the day before, and then the day before that, there was something that felt...off. Something unusual, something weird. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it wasn't entirely good either.

“Hey [Y/N]?” A curly haired blonde asked from beside her, not even realising that she had sat down next to her as she was too absorbed in her scribbling.

[Y/N] hummed in response to urge the girl to carry on, “Did you hear?” Now that got her attention.

“Hear what, Louise?”

“Apparently there’s fresh meat.” Louise smirked at [Y/N], rotting teeth shining as bright as possible, which wasn't bright in the slightest.

“I feel sorry for them, then. Whoever they are.” [Y/N] replied simply.

“Do you not want to know who it is?” Louise pressed with furrowed eyebrows.

“Not particularly,” she snarked “but I have a feeling you're going to tell me anyway.”

“You're a bitch, you know that?” she asked, to which [Y/N] nodded. Louise was the only other person in Arkham who hadn't completely lost their mind, which was a bit of a stretch. Louise was sent to the asylum after she killed four men and sent their remains to Gotham Police Department, earning her the title ‘The Mail Killer’ which was stupid, in all honesty.

“I heard from one of the guards that his name is--” Before Louise could finish her sentence, the sound of the metal door opening cut her off, making everyone who was actually aware of what was happening turn around. In walked a red-headed guy, who couldn't have looked over the age of twenty, with a smirk on his face. He seemed to survey his new home with a kind of smugness, something that shouldn't really exist in his new situation.

“Jerome Valeska.” Louise finished with her eyes still strained on the man.

[Y/N] scanned Jerome with her eyes before turning back to scribbling in her book, “Seems a bit up his own ass if you ask me.”

[Y/N] felt a slight breeze next to her which told her that Louise left her alone, much to her pleasure. Although, her pleasure was short lived as she felt a similar breeze to the first one.

“Louise, I mean this in the nicest possible away, please piss off--oh.” [Y/N] turned around halfway through her sentence, unaware of the fact that it was not Louise she was talking to, but someone else.

“Hi gorgeous. I'm Jerome.” She resisted the urge to not roll her eyes at his typical guy response. “Even though I’m not Louise, that was still quite mean, wasn't it?”

This time, [Y/N] was unable to stop the eye-roll and then promptly turned back to her notepad that she had now been rudely interrupted from twice.

“I’m Jerome.”

“I know.” She replied, not paying any attention to him.

“What’s yours?” Jerome asked, even though he knew what it was. He had to make it seem like she wasn't part of the reason he ended up in Arkham, and therefore making it seem like he didn't have any idea of who she was.

“What’s my what?” She asked, still not looking up from her notebook.

“Your name, duh.” He stated with a smirk, his playfulness shining through.

[Y/N] rolled her eyes once again before standing up from her seat, gathering all her things from the table. She began to walk away before turning back around and facing him, finally getting a full-frontal view of Jerome. She was slightly stunned, not expecting him to look that good up close. “[Y/N].”

Before Jerome was able to give a response, she spun on her heel before taking off in the direction of her room, leaving him wanting to get to know you more.

[elisabeth515]

(Some) Greek Gods as Historical Figures

So some days ago I secretly logged back into Mythology and Cultures amino and I stumbled across post of casting historical figures as the gods from Greek mythology. Of course, I hated it, so I made my version of this.

Note: Of course, this is going to have quite a lot of Napoleonic figures, since I am more familiar of this period, but please do reblog this post (or tag me on another post) with the hashtag “#mythical figures as historical people” and add some more of your historical figure Greek God fancasts!

Note 2: this post is for entertaining purpose, and just me introducing some guys to y’all and I am not a historian myself and hopefully you all would still like my takes😅

1. Zeus - Louis XIV of France

First and foremost, I shall introduce the king of gods featured in Greco-Roman myths. You may ask, why don’t I cast Henry VIII of England? Well, my reason is very simple: Henry is far from accurate to Zeus in actual myths.

To be honest, Zeus has a more “absolute power” energy in it, and Louis XIV totally has rocked it (like that iconic line “l’état, c’est moi (I am the state)”). Well, Henry also has that kind of energy but everyone only remembers his six wives and the uncountable number of bloodshed (not to mention Catherine of Aragon is a much better fighter than him—got this from Horrible Histories OwO)... Anyways, Louis XVI is basically a Zeus.

2. Hera - Catherine of Aragon

This brings to Catherine of Aragon herself. She’s a total Q U E E N and if you have watched “Six” the musical you already got what I mean (like, being the wife who married to Henry the longest). There’s also the early warlike aspect in Hera (featured in Homer’s works) that Catherine has it as well (at least you know that she’s getting more victories than Henry if you have watched Horrible Histories season 6, in the episode with Rowan Atkinson playing Henry VIII (which is sad because I want Ben Willbond to play him—he iconic to the HH fandom)), making her a great casting of Hera.

Hera, in my opinion, is a very strong woman who has to take Zeus’s shit and I could totally understand why she took revenge on the girls that Zeus has slept with—but anyways, hopefully you guys would like it :3

3. Aphrodite - Pauline Bonaparte

This is half-self-explanatory, really—just look at that statue she posed as Venus, the Roman equivalent of Aphrodite.

Pauline was famed for her beauty in her time, also a big chunk of scandals from her affairs (which bugs her big brother Napoleon, a lot). Nevertheless, despite her big spending habits and a great sexual appetite, she always helped Napoleon in some surprising ways (like she sold her house in Paris to the Duke of Wellington to get the funds for Napoleon).

Just like Aphrodite herself, Pauline harnessed her beauty very well. Thus, I rest my case.

4. Apollo - Joachim Murat or Emperor Franz Joseph I of Austria

(Warning: long content ahead)

Firstly, let me briefly introduce them because you guys might not know them much.

Joachim Murat was a marshal of France, also one of Napoleon’s brother-in-law, grand duke of Berg and Cleves from 1806 to 1808 and the King of Naples from 1808 to 1815. After the wars, he attempted to escape yet was caught and executed in 1815 in Pizzo, Italy (if you have read of Alexandre Dumas’s “Famous Crimes” you might know him—by the way no one has cut his head off and sent it to that big nose King Ferdinand).

For those who have watched “Elisabeth” or the “Sissi” movies, you might know Franz Joseph I of Austria already but you might not know much about himself besides being the husband of the (in)famous Empress Sisi (ie. Empress Elisabeth of Austria). He was the Emperor of the Austria from 1848 to his death in 1916—one of the longest reigning European monarchs in history. During his reign, the empire had been through a lot of change, most notably, the creation of Austria-Hungary. Nevertheless, he was also the Emperor who started World War I and he died of old age in the midst of the Great War.

For Apollo, I’m not casting musicians because this is quite overdone. I rather want to shed a light to the other arts that he represented in Greco-Roman mythology. This makes me want to draw a parallel to Joachim Murat as he was also a great sucker of classical literature. Plus, he also was known to be a flamboyant dresser (his nickname was “the Dandy King” by the way), also the designer of the uniforms of the Neapolitan army (with an excessive amount of amaranth, perhaps his favourite colour). Really, everyone just sees him as a great flamboyant himbo but in reality, he’s iconically badass in the battlefield as the First Horseman of Europe. Well, also he’s known for being extremely good with women even though his wife Caroline was fierce as hell. So, in my opinion, he fits the image of Apollo that we know.

However, you guys might feel surprised why I picked Franz Joseph for Apollo. Well, he really... was a rather mediocre ruler in my opinion, and perhaps our most memorable image of him was the senile emperor who signed the declaration of war to Serbia. Nevertheless, he was a well-liked man among his subjects, at least to some old citizens of Austria-Hungary telling future generations. Besides, culture flourished in Vienna under his reign—with notable figures like Sigmund Freud, Ludwig Wittgenstein and Erwin Schrödinger. Despite the series of unfortunate events which made the empire started to crumble, Austria-Hungary arguably has its cultural importance in Europe. Sounds like what Apollo would do if he’s a ruler, somehow.

Well, enough of his political achievements, let’s talk about his private life... which was probably the actual reason why I picked him.

Enter Duchess Elisabeth in Bavaria, the Empress of Austria and Queen of Hungary, also known as Sisi.

On a side note, Marshal Louis-Alexandre Berthier of France, Prince of Neufchâtel and of Wargram, was Empress Sisi’s grand-uncle in-law via his marriage to Duchess Maria Elisabeth in Bavaria

Absolutely love Pia as Elisabeth in the musical so please don’t mind me using a gif from this :3 ((also, “Elisabeth” spoiler alert

Franz originally was to marry her sister Helene (nicknamed Néné), nevertheless, on the first meeting in Bad Ishl, he has fallen for the young Elisabeth, head over heels—making him defying his domineering mother, Archduchess Sophie, for the very first time. Elisabeth also liked him and did not expressed her refusal either, so they got married in St. Augustine’s Church in 29th April, 1854.

However, the marriage was not well. Sisi was not accustomed to the strict Austrian court especially Archduchess Sophie (also she was not really a fan of intimacy). Poor Franz was rather helpless in situations between his mother and his wife, and eventually, Sisi chose her freedom over her duty as Empress, traveling around the world. They two briefly went back together during the Austro-Hungarian compromise, yet she was constantly not there. Eventually, Sisi was assassinated by an anarchist named Luigi Lucheni during her stay in Geneva, Switzerland, and Franz was devastated over her death (“she will never know how much I love her”).

To Franz, he loved her so, but he really didn’t understand her needs. Even though he had countless mistresses and female companions in Vienna, he still missed his wife. I say, he was really unlucky when it comes to love. Like Apollo himself, he dated countless nymphs and humans, but a lot of his notable relationships did not have a good end. (Probably Cyrene was the most lucky one, yet she also has chosen to be left alone after mothering several children with Apollo.) For this, I picked Franz Joseph as Apollo.

5. Ares - Jean Lannes or Michel Ney

As usual, for those who don’t know much history, I shall briefly introduce my babeys these two great soldiers.

Jean Lannes was one of the marshals of Napoleon, known for being one of Napoleon’s closest friends and his fiery personality, and is considered one of the best marshals of the 1st French Empire. His finest moments including the Battle of Ratisbon in which he led his men to storm the well-guarded city with ladders (hence his nickname “ladder lord” in our very humble Napoleonic marshalate fandom :3). Sadly, he died of the wound he received in the battle of Aspern-Essling in 1809.

Michel Ney was also one of the marshals of Napoleon, known for his extreme valour (yep, he is known as the “Bravest of the Brave”). As you might know, he was one of the marshals who was in Waterloo, yet, his finest hour was during the retreat from Russia in the disasterous 1812. Sadly, he was arguably the most prominent victim of the White Terror under the second Bourbon restoration, executed in 1815 (**I am not accepting any kind of conspiracy theories of my babey survived and died in America😤).

Speaking of Ares, I have a lot of things to say (that’s my dad ;-; no jkjk). He is really not that bloodthirsty idiot who casually hates humans. Well, he’s more like a fiery dork and a man who was very faithful to his lovers, and fights very well (by the way also one of the best dads). So, the bois that come into my mind are automatically two of the most courageous marshals of France.

Lannes, if I have to get him a godly parent, it would definitely Ares. He resembled the god a lot (also I sometimes imagined Ares as a smol bean with dark hair), probably looks the most like Ares himself. He got that fiery temper, that faithfulness to his wife Louise, also being a very courageous fighter in the field—well he literally was like, “NO LEMME STORM DAT CITY *grabs ladder*”.

There you have it, my big bro our ladder lord Jean Lannes who can pull off a perfect Ares.

Ney is like a slightly introverted (and mature) version of an Ares person. You can guess his temper already through his famed auburn hair, and indeed despite his shy exterior his temper sometimes was a bit explosive, and a bit impatient (which was somehow one of his fatal flaws). He was a great fighter, known as a skilled swordsman in his youth. And you all know how brave he is in his famed epithet. Michel Ney is purely badass (and C U T E) you know (and he needs a lot of hugs because he has really been though a lot in the wars, and was a possible case of PTSD which was shown in his arguably suicidal behaviour during the battle of Waterloo). That’s why I casted him as the Greek god Ares OwO

//

And there you have it, my interpretations on the Greek gods via people in history. I originally would like to include more but somehow I realised that I have written too much about my picks. So, if you want to add more, reblog this post or tag me on the post you made on this topic (and please use the hashtag “mythical figures as historical people” so that I could look into your choices via the search bubble on this app🥺).

Last but not the least, I hope you all lovelies like this, also have learnt something new via my brief introductions on some historical people. Have a great day!

[long-after-love]

ON GEORGE – The youngest Beatle

(Originally written my Vietnamese for the local community, but I modified it a bit to post it here, since I love this essay so much... sorry for the self-indulgence)

First and foremost, I love the Beatles for their music. But there are also many other groups that I like because of their music, yet none ever had a permanent place in my heart like The Beatles does. I suppose I'm not really a music lover at heart, I don't care much about tastes, accolades, criticisms, records, and I'm not the type of person trying to express my personality through my taste in films, books or bands. If my love for Beatles could be divided into ten parts, three would be for the music, and seven would be for their history and anecdotes.

Ages ago, well, perhaps months ago, I received an anon ask about George that I couldn’t even recall at the moment. Must be something about George being unintellectual and a bit unaware of things. But I don’t think I was being overly critical of George – this is a John and Paul blog, but George was my first crush and when you think about your first crush, how you grew out of it and slowly learned how to fall in love again – you feel a bit embarrassing, but it is still something you hold dear, you just put it in a realistic light.

Now I think of George as the youngest, the cutes Beatle, though normally the moniker Cute Beatle belongs to Paul, I guess people were overly impressed with his doe eyes and rat bunny teeth. I couldn’t disagree with George’s _“Quiet One” _image more, George is anything but a supposedly spiritual, enlightened  person. Recently, with the celebration of All Things Must Pass’s 50th anniversary, people have even more reasons to buy that image. But is that really the case?

My perception of George started to change when I came across an interview with John and Yoko in 1971 with Peter McCabe. I think most of you are familiar with this:

 MCCABE: Let’s talk a bit about George. He’s perhaps the most enigmatic Beatle. Are you saying George is more conventional than he makes himself out to be?

JOHN: There’s no telling George. He always has a point of view about that wide, you know. [John places his hands a few inches apart.] You can’t tell him anything.

YOKO: George is sophisticated, fashionwise…

JOHN: He’s very trendy, and he has the right clothes, and all of that…

YOKO: But he’s not sophisticated, intellectually.

JOHN: No. He’s very narrow-minded and he doesn’t really have a broader view. Paul is far more aware than George. One time in the Apple office in Wigmore Street, I said something to George, and he said, “I’m as intelligent as you, you know.” This must have been resentment, but he could have left anytime if I was giving him a hard time.

MCCABE: What did you say?

JOHN: I didn’t answer. Of course, he’s got an inferiority complex working with Paul and me.

YOKO: In the case of Paul, it’s not that he’s not sophisticated. I’m sure that he’s intellectually sophisticated as well. It’s just that he’s aware, and yet he doesn’t want to know.

JOHN: Whereas George doesn’t really know what’s happening, you know.

— John Lennon and Yoko Ono, interview w/ Peter McCabe & Robert Schonfeld. (September, 1971)

 For those who firmly believed in George's “Quiet One” image (where quietness is meant to show enlightened reticence), the above interview can make their blood boil, but in fact, if you read the Beatles biographies carefully, you have to realize that John and Yoko’s observance, albeit being absurdly blunt and mean-spirited, was true. George was a spiritual person from his late twenties to his death, but he was never enlightened type, the sage-like type. I always appreciate the innocent part of his nature more, even though he, at times, acted unseemly. There are many funny and endearing anecdotes surrounding George that prove it, told by family and close friends of the Beatles since the band was unknown. Here I only pointed out three of them.

The first story is the look on George's face. On the stage, George stood silently a bit behind John and Paul, rarely smiled. Since the Cavern days, girls had asked Louise Harrison, George's mother, why George wouldn't laugh. What Mrs. Louise revealed turned out to be nothing complicated: George was afraid of making mistakes (Davies, 2009). When people are concentrating, their facial expressions will naturally become serious. And thus, just as naturally, the unknowing seriousness gave George some mysterious air that subtly differed him from the fierce John and the bouncy Paul.

Second, I would like to quote from John and Cyn, as seen on some earlier post:

“When George was a kid, he used to follow me and my first girlfriend Cynthia. We would come out of the art school together and he’d be hovering around.Cyn and I would be going to a coffee shop or a movie and George would follow us down the street two hundred yards behind. Cyn would say, ‘Who is that guy? What does he want?’ And I’d say, 'He just wants to hang out. Should we take him with us?’ She’d say, 'Oh, OK, let’s take him to the bloody movies.’ So we’d allow him to come to the movies with us. That’s the sort of relationship it was.” 

- John Lennon

“Hi John, Hi Cyn.’ He would hurriedly catch us up and then it would be, 'Where are you two off to? Can I come?’ Neither of us would have the heart to tell this thin gangly kid in school uniform to push off. Poor George! He hand’t really got to the stage of serious girlfriends yet and was totally unaware of what it was all about, Alfie! So we would spend the lost afternoon as a jolly threesome, wondering what on earth we were going to do with ourselves.” 

- Cynthia Powell

In addition, Cynthia also told this story in her book, John (2005): 

“It was appendicitis and I was stuck in hospital for two weeks. After a couple of days John came to visit me, dragging George with him. I had been so desperate to see him, and was so frustrated when I saw George, that I burst into tears. Shocked, John told George to hop it and held my hand for an hour to mollify me. After a while my mum arrived, and later took John and George back to our house for tea.”

Please note this little detail: John went to the hospital to see his sick girlfriend, but apparently George insisted to tag along. When John saw Cyn crying, he asked George to leave, George seemed to hang outside, waiting for John to finish his visit. This is very telling: how desperate George wanted to hang out with John then! With the part where Cynthia's mother invited both John and George home for tea, Mrs. Powell probably had been familiar with this little boy who followed John and Cyn all the time.

I would like to give another example with Astrid Kirchherr’s memory of George. It was 1960 – Astrid and Stuart Sutcliffe were in love, but this still didn't stop the naive little George just seventeen years old then, and Astrid was certainly moved by his sweetness, quoted from The Beatles (2009) by Hunter Davies: 

“I got on like a house on fire with George. He'd never met anyone like me before and he showed it, so openly and sweetly. After all, he was only 17. There was me, the sort of intelligent girl he'd never come across before, with my own car, working as a photographer, and wearing leather jackets. It was natural he would be very interested in me. I never fancied him or anything like that. It wasn't that sort of thing. I was five years older, so it didn't matter being open. We got on great.”

You may argue: but it was just baby George! Oh, I couldn’t agree with that, my good friend. I think George’s attitude was always like that – he was the youngest child of his parents and the youngest boy of Beatles – he was immature, not very worldly and made questionable choices, especially in his effort to butter up John by recording HDYS: it wasn’t fruitful as it was self-defeating: John, all in all, just saw him as the kid that tagged along.

After the Beatles’ break up, George always seemed most annoyed with the Beatles, most frustrated about the past. But it seems that George only overreacted because he was tired and powerless against the morbid curiosity of the press and fans for decades. I think if George hated the Beatles or hated Paul as he made himself to be, then George would not have held Paul’s hand reminiscing about the past, nor chosen to die at Paul's house (I know Paul lent him the house, but George wasn’t too broke to rent a house near the treatment facility). Thus, with such an attitude, I couldn’t take him seriously as a spiritual person, but hell, wasn’t he a lovely man with all the flaws?

[ezrastokes]

[ CODY CHRISTIAN, HE/HIM, CISMALE ] —  [ EZRA STOKES ]  is a child of [ HEPHAESTUS ] with the power of  [ TECHNOKINESIS ] .  they were born in [ 1995 ] and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2010 ] .  with the change, they [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ] the [ TECHNOLOGY ] role which makes sense since they’re usually [ FIRING POTTERY IN THE KILN AND BREWING A THIRD CUP OF COFFEE ] .  if you’d like to meet them try the [ MOON ]  building .  —  kati / she & her / est / 18+

links: stats / pinterest .

background

most of ezra’s early years were spent not fitting in and for most of that time, he didn’t know why. he didn’t understand why his father seemed to hate him so much, why his younger brother, caleb, seemed to get all of the attention. ezra chalked it up to just not being quite good enough, maybe because he wasn’t into sports the way caleb was, coming home with paint on his shirt instead of grass stains. 

for a while, ezra tried to fit in, went out for baseball to try and garner his father’s approval, but it was never really him. over time, he began to isolate himself instead, because it was easier to be on his own than face rejection and disapproval.

his mom was loving, but only behind closed doors. it always seemed like she was scared to show her affection for ezra in front of his father, like she felt GUILTY about loving him, about caring about him. she’d sneak into his room at night and read him stories or they’d spend all day together when his father was out of town. “ why does dad hate me so much ? ” he’d ask, and his mother would smile sadly and say, “ i’ll explain more when you’re older. ” 

ezra started developing his powers when he was about twelve years old. his mother had hoped it would never happen. it started small, realizing he could do things like make the toaster pop up without touching it or turn on the television with what seemed to be sheer willpower. his parents started noticing this too. he overheard them talking about it one night, fighting. ezra didn’t know what it meant, but over time, he’d listen at the top of the stairwell as the arguments got more and more heated, resulting in broken glass. caleb would sit with him sometimes. “ what are they always fighting about lately ? ” ezra would ask. “ you, ” the dreaded answer, but he’d already known. he just needed to hear someone say it. “ it’s because you’re a freak. ” 

anxious during a test at school, ezra set the printer going so hard that it started smoking and set the fire alarm off. to most people, it was nice to get out of the test, but ezra went home demanding answers. “ just tell me what i am, please ! ” rising frustration, appliances in the house whirring to life. ezra was getting more powerful, it was not just a PHASE that he could outgrow. his parents had to tell him the truth. 

his mother sit down and told him about an AFFAIR she had once, with the god hephaestus. he had been able to forgive her for it, but his father had never been able to get over the living manifestation of her disloyalty, the obvious misfit in the family that stuck out and didn’t belong. every day, ezra seemed less and less like he could be his father’s son. everything seemed to click into place for ezra, but it didn’t make him feel any better to be the product of circumstances he couldn’t control ; things would have been easier if he’d been born normal like caleb. 

his mother expressed concern for the way his powers were growing and that modern society might not be the place for him. she’d been told if such powers ever developed, that there was a place that he could go. so, at age fifteen he packed this things and began training at nemean lion. 

ezra naturally assimilated into the technology track with his powers, it seemed to make the most sense for him. in terms of helping heroes, he is most comfortable beneath the hood of a car, developing advanced transportation technology and essentially providing heroes with the best possible support. he also built his own motorcycle and car from scratch, they’re named thelma and louise respectively, his pride and joys. ezra is  a quiet person but get him talking about his hobbies / geeking out and you’ve hit the sweet spot. 

recently graduated and working, though he feels like he’s in no position to mentor the newbies…he’ll try. he would’ve been happy to be a student forever, but due to nl’s new status, he felt the need to rush his graduation and work a little harder so that they’d have the tech help they need for the heroes on the field fighting monsters and such. 

personality

PERSISTENT. essentially, when ezra sets his mind on something, he will accomplish it. in some ways, he can be pretty one-track minded when it comes to things, like he’ll start a task in the garage or at the kiln and he won’t speak to anyone for days until it’s done. balance ? he doesn’t know her. but achieving his goals ? yes, king. sometimes i think ezra believes that people are to be measured on accomplishments and his value only exists in terms of what he can do for others. however, you can definitely count on him to get a job done. 

PRACTICAL. ezra is a pretty realistic person, not the type to get caught up in a daydream or set an unrealistic expectation for himself. granted, he knows he can accomplish a lot, but he would never expect more of himself than what is tangible. he’s definitely not a naive person and is more inclined to believe actions over words every time. 

INDEPENDENT. ezra is the sort of person who has always felt like he’s had to fend for himself and is pretty mature. he’s good at taking care of himself and has never felt like he NEEDS other – not that anyone’s really need him. he’s very self-sufficient as a person basically and doesn’t rely on others to get things done. you’ll literally never feel like ezra’s a mooch, but he would let others mooch off him tbh. 

PESSMISTIC. as a result of that practicality, he can come off as rather negative in conversation or in ideals. essentially, ezra can be a real downer to be around sometimes because he will always anticipate the worst case scenario ! he’ll tell you he’s just being prepared though. 

SENSITIVE. although he comes off as tough or even unapproachable sometimes, this is actually because he’s EASILY hurt. he puts on a front like a badass but seriously he is a sensitive baby and if you say something that rubs him the wrong way he will legit never forget it. can literally hold a grudge for 8092390482 years like if you cross him slightly he will bring it up until you die. 

headcanons

if he’s not working with vehicles, he’s making pottery. he has a wheel in his room and is really passionate about art and ceramics. so, when he’s not working, he’s probably firing something.

yes, he has an etsy store <3 

has a little black cat named soot that is genuinely his best friend

has a natural affinity toward all things fire and smoke, developing the nasty habit of smoking cigarettes – american spirits, too, because he has no class. however, since he started dating his current girlfriend, he’s pretty much quit smoking to make her happy – and like, to be more kissable.

genuinely, his girlfriend cecilia baum ( y’all know her ? ) has been a super positive influence in his life because he used to drink, smoke, and isolate himself a lot more before getting to know her but honestly the act of developing a crush and trying to impress her all the time got him into better habits and her caring about him has made him care a bit about himself more too.

granted, it’s not JUST cece. making better friends and meeting people that care about him has been a positive influence on him overall

don’t ask me too much about cece, strud and i are mid-plotting but they are dating. 

you’d probably think like mechanic, artist, he must be super messy? however, ezra is really meticulous and organized, i would say he’s always been really mature and independent. he has his shit together, but he’s also fueled by a ridiculous amount of coffee in order to do so. 

though he does often smell like gasoline from working in the garage so much, though he personally loves that. 

really likes thrifting? like browsing thrift stores for hours and finding weird shit or interesting art pieces. he’ll treat thrift stores like museums, could spend hours walking around, but he’ll also spend hours walking around museums. 

wanted connections

best friends, bros, etc !! i’m looking for the people he really vibes with in a number of ways, his squad, his fam, the wholesome shit. the scott to his stiles, the schmidt to his nick, all of these things. 

but i would especially love to have like his DAY ONE, i will simply go crazy go stupid for a best friend connection and i feel like that person who supported him from the start and made him feel less alone on his first days at NL prob means the fucking world to him.

like, someone he’s protective of? maybe a little sister type connection, essentially someone that’s probably softer and more naive and he feels like he has to look out for them and keep them safe and such. 

someone to test out his vehicles and inventions. ezra is always tinkering away in the garage and he comes up with cool stuff for the heroes to use out when they’re saving the world, it would be nice if he had someone who was always down to literally come through in the middle of the night and be the elastigirl to his edna mode and all.

someone that he really clashes with. give me enemies for god’s sake, or anything, i feel like especially when he first arrived at NL he was a bit rough around the edges, hard to get to know. ezra definitely comes off as grumpy and standoffish around people he’s not super comfortable with and he’s pretty introverted, so they might have gotten a bad impression of him. 

or honestly if you play a char that’s kind of ? stuck up ? full of themselves ? that would really rub him the wrong way. tho he’s probably just jealous bc he lacks that confidence like damn. 

an almost? like a case of bad timing where they were hitting it off or maybe there could have been something between them but he started dating cece instead. maybe your character read into it more than it was and felt really hurt by it. OR he told them he didn’t want a relationship/do relationships and then started dating cece right quick like that’s gotta hurt. 

someone who is good w money. help him manage the finances of his etsy store and how to run a business because he doesn’t even know how to properly price his own goods, probably undersells himself. gimme the business mind to his art mind. 

drinking buddies! sitting around w a good glass of scotch talking about life after a hard day. ezra doesn’t drink so much but honestly their work is hard and ppl die so like, a lil something to take the edge off. 

roommates? is that a thing here? he is in moon building.

naturally also down to vibe and plot anything, exes, family members, enemies, besties, all the things, this is just off the top of my head !!! 

[emachinescat]

Does It Count as Eavesdropping if You’re Comatose?

A Psych Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat ​

@febuwhump​ day 28 / alt. 3 - coma

Summary: They say people who are comatose can still hear what is going on around them.  This is what Shawn heard.

Characters | Relationships: Shawn, Henry, Gus, Juliet, Madeline, Lassiter, Jack, Despereaux, Buzz, Woody, Chief Vick | Shawn/Juliet

Words: 3,898

TW: coma

Note: I really hope you enjoy this piece.  It was one of the most emotionally taxing, cathartic, and fulfilling pieces I’ve written in a long time.  I hope that comes across when you read it.  

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this! :)

Shawn?

Where’s the doctor?  I need to speak to him.  Busy, my ass!  My son is in a coma.  I get that you’re just doing your job.  Just… find me someone who can give me an update.  …  Please.

Hey, bud.  I, uh – 

Shit.

Shawn, for the love of – what the hell did you think you were doing?  Going off on your own like that, not telling anyone where you were going or what you were doing.  You knew these people were dangerous, and you still… I know I taught you better than this.

Why, why do you never listen? 

***

Hey, Shawn.  Don’t think that just because you’re in a coma right now that we’re going to let this go.  You’ve pulled some stupid-ass stunts in your time, but this … this takes the cake.  And you know you’re supposed to share any cake you get with me.  Fifty-fifty split.

We’re partners, Shawn.  Why did you go in alone?

Well, all I have to say is that you better wake up soon.  The doctors say they are cautiously optimistic that you’ll have a full recovery if you will just wake up.  We’re all well aware that you are the laziest time-waster in Santa Barbara, but just this once, will you prove us wrong?

…

Please, Shawn.  You’re my best friend.  I … I can’t lose you.  Just.  Just come back, okay?

***

The doctors said that you might be able to hear what we say to you.  In my experience, doctors always say that, but, I don’t know.  It seems a little weird, don’t you think?  I mean, the thought of you lying there, so still that you might be … you know.  Anyway.  To think that you could actually be hearing everything I’m saying right now is…

It’s actually a little bit embarrassing.  Gosh, why do I always ramble like a moron when I’m nervous?  This is worse than the movie theater, the first time I asked you out.  Remember that?  Now that was humiliating.  

I know your dad and Gus have probably already given you enough lectures to fill up a novel, so I won’t yell at you for being an impulsive, stupid idiot.  Not yet.

For now, Shawn – his hand is really cold; is that normal?  Should I call the doctor?  No? – just know that I love you, with all my heart.

And that if you don’t wake up soon, I’ll kill you myself.

***

Mr. Spencer.  

Shawn.

I… I apologize for not coming to see you sooner.  It’s no excuse, but we’ve been really busy.  God knows how you did it, but you somehow managed to still get us the evidence we needed to take these guys down, even on death’s door.  These monsters have been tormenting a lot of very good people for far too long, and until you… did what you did, our hands were tied.

I suppose what I am saying is thank you.

It was incredibly stupid, and I – we all – wish you had never done it, but… thank you.

Wake up soon.  That’s an order.  

Oh, hi, Henry – I was just stopping by for a moment.  How are you holding up?  Yes, I – 

***

Hey, Goose.

I would have been here sooner, but I was stuck in New York.  I was in for a conference, and my flight got delayed because of snow, but… but you don’t really want to hear about that, do you?

You look good, considering.  From the way your father talked, I thought you’d be wasting away.  But your color is good.  You don’t have that gray pallor I’ve seen so often in those who have given up.  

That means you’re still fighting.  And that’s good.

If you’re wondering where your dad is, don’t worry.  Juliet and Gus dragged him to the cafeteria for some actual food – or as close as you can get to real food in a hospital.  Your father… That man, Shawn, I just don’t think you know how much he cares about you.  Not that it’s your fault.  Henry has never been good at showing how he feels.  

Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I married him, so long ago.  Maybe I thought I could fix him.  But you can’t really fix people, can you, Goose?  Not the way you’d like to.  

The doctors are doing everything they can to fix you, Shawn.  So don’t give up.  

Oh, here comes your father –

He’s fine, Henry – did you eat something?  Gus, did he actually eat something?  What did he eat?  Henry Spencer, coffee is not food!  Good grief, I’ll be right back...

***

Oh, Guster!  I… I didn’t know you would be here.  I’ll just… I was in the wrong room, that’s all.  Yeah, I was just visiting an old friend of the family.  Who?  None of your business, actually.  Just a friend, who is not Spencer.

What do you mean, I should stay since I’m already here?  Guster, I have important things to do, cases to solve, people to see!  Well, I suppose… Just for a minute, do you understand me?  This is ridiculous… Spencer butts his nose into my case, breaks the whole thing open, and damn near dies in the process…  

Guster – where the hell are you going?  You can’t leave me alone with Spencer!  …  What do you mean, talk to him?  Are you insane?  I don’t want to talk to him when he’s awake, why would I –?

You don’t have to shout.  I’ll stay while you step out.  

But I won’t talk to him.

…

…

Well, Spencer, this is a fine mess you’ve put yourself in.  

I mean sweet justice, man, do you ever think about what you’re doing?  About how it will affect other people?  The people who love you?

Not me, of course.  You know I could care less about you.  But my partner, your girlfriend, for some unfathomable reason, has chosen to be with you.  To like you for – man, this is hard to say – to like you for who you are.  I mean, have you met you?  That’s something that should never have happened, especially not after all the stupid stunts you’ve pulled over the years.  

But it did.  She… Juliet, she cares about you.  A lot.  If you could see just how much she’s hurting right now… 

Spencer, I once told you that if you hurt my partner, I’d kill you.  Well, you’ve gone and done it.  But I’m a fair man.  Well, I can be a fair man if given the right circumstances.  Okay, fine, I’m not exactly fair, but I do care about Juliet, so I will give you an ultimatum: If you go ahead and wake up, if you put a smile back on her face, then I will let you live.  But you’ve got to do it soon, got it?  No lollygagging like you usually do.  Just…

Guster!  You cannot just sneak up on a man like that!  No, I wasn’t talking to Shawn, don’t be ridiculous.  I’m on the phone with someone … Bluetooth.  

What?  NO!  My eyes are not “misty.”  Good lord, man, not everyone is a crybaby like you.  No, I’m not staying any longer!  Dammit, Guster, I don’t care – 

***

Hey, Shawnie!  

Look, this is a little awkward, I know, especially since I haven’t really been in touch since the whole Buchard’s treasure incident, but when your father finally got ahold of me, I rushed right over.  Bygones, and all that, am I right?  

Anywho… I brought you a penny.  I know it’s not much, but this one’s special.  It’s a 1943 bronze Lincoln.  One of the rarest out there.  I’ve been holding onto it for a while, but I thought you could use a little luck.  Well, a little more than a little, but…

Anyway, kiddo.  I hate seeing you like this.  I’m getting ready to go cliff diving in Peru, but I’ll be here with you in spirit, you got that?  Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. 

Or do.  I guess if you’re doing something stupid, then you’re not sleeping anymore. 

Damn it.  I’m not good at this stuff.  

See ya around, kid.  

***

Hey, Shawn, my man!  Long time, no see, huh?  Do you mind if I eat something while we chat?  Want a bite?  It’s your favorite…

No?  Well, more for me, I suppose.

Hmmmm… your color looks less gray than last week.  Maybe the doctors are right, maybe you really are recovering, but… I don’t know.  Gah, I really wish they’d let me take a crack at you – ah, I mean, examine you, just in case, but… Apparently “someone who spends all day with the dead isn’t the right person to diagnose a living person, blah blah blah.”  Between you and me, friend, I think they’re hiding something from us.  It’s a conspiracy.  … Not like the Chief Vick is actually a time traveler conspiracy, mind you.  A real one.

Ah, whatever.  Whatever happens will happen, am I right, Shawn?  I have to say, you’re excellent company today!  I do miss your witty retorts, but you’ve got that comforting presence I’ve come to expect from my friends in the morgue.  They only get chatty when I haven’t slept for four days straight.  

Huh, you normally would’ve laughed at that.  

Anyway, keep on keeping on!  Whatever happens, whatever direction this thing ends up going, just know I’ve got your back.  And if you don’t make it in this world, well… let’s just say I picked out the perfect body bag to carry you into the next.  Spoiler alert: I embroidered this one myself!

Oh, and don’t forget!  I’ve called dibs on your autopsy, should it come to that!  Gosh, I can’t stop wondering if your heart really is going to be two sizes bigger than most.  I know it’s scientifically improbable, but you just love so damn much…

Ah!  Oh, Henry, you scared me!  I was just – no, I don’t have the body bag.  Promise.  Cross my heart and hope to – well, you know.  Little joke of the trade, hehe.  You’re not laughing – Shawn would have.

Okay, okay, I’m getting out, I’m leaving!  But if anything happens, you know that I – OW!  Okay, okay, yeah, got it.  Geez Louise, you’ve got a tight grip.  Did you arm wrestle in high school?  

***

Hey, Shawn.  How’s it going?

I mean, you’re in a coma, so I imagine it’s not great, but… I dunno, maybe it is.  Maybe it’s nice, wherever you’re at.

Say, I wonder if you’re in the place your psychic visions come from.  When you wake up, do you think you’ll be even more psychic than before?  That would be so cool…

Oh, Franny and Mrs. Pickles say hi.  She wanted to bake you a pie – Franny, of course, not Mrs. Pickles, he’s a cat – but I told her you were on a feeding tube, so she made me a pie instead.  It was blueberry.  One of the best pies I’ve ever tasted.  She told me to tell you that if, I mean when, you wake up, she’ll make you a pineapple upside down cake.  A whole one, just for you.

You’ve just got to wake up first, Shawn.

I … I really hope you wake up soon.  I miss seeing you around the station.  Heh, I even think Lassiter’s missing you.  He doesn’t say it so many words – or any words at all, for that matter – but he’s different.  Angrier, and I wasn’t even sure that was possible!  And he keeps glancing over at the front doors, like he’s expecting you to come waltzing in at any moment.  

Or, I dunno, maybe he ordered a pizza, but I’m betting he’s missing you, deep down.

We’re all missing you.  Get better soon, okay, buddy?

***

Well, kid.  It’s been five weeks.  You’ve always been a slowpoke in the mornings, but this is getting ridiculous.  

I’m running out of things to talk about.  Bet you’re not too broken up about that, huh?  Never did like to listen to what your old man had to say.  Still… you listened when it mattered.  Sometimes.  

I’m thinking about retiring again.  Karen’s trying to convince me to stay.  She says that she’s always got a place for me, that they may be bringing in a couple of temporary consultants in the next few weeks, to help lighten the caseload.  There’s a criminal profiler, a young woman who really knows her stuff, but Karen’s been holding off on hiring her.  Honestly, the girl’s good at what she does, but she doesn’t hold a candle to what you do.

Then again, she’s not an attention-seeking moron who runs head-first into danger without thinking of the consequences, but… she’s still not you.

Anyway, I told Karen I’d think about it, but I don’t know.  I’m getting old, kid.  I thought I wasn’t, I still felt pretty young, but recently… I don’t know.  The world just has a little less color in it than I remembered, and that’s what growing old looks like, isn’t it?  

If I retired, would you wake up?  If you didn’t have me “hovering” over you all day at work, would you finally come back?  I mean, I accepted the job in the first place to keep you safe, and that went to hell in a handbag.  Maybe I’m not so good at that job, after all.

Anyway, kid, you need to get off your lazy ass and wake up.

Believe it or not, I’m really starting to miss hearing your voice.

I love ya, kid.  And I want you back.

***

Shawn, you will not believe what came in the mail today!  

Seriously, guess.  

Come on… 

Dang it.  I really hoped that would get you curious enough to open your eyes.  

Anyway… something really did come in the mail.  Well, sort of.  I found it on your desk in the Psych office when I came in to check on things.  I’ve been advised that it might be a good idea to stop paying rent for an office I’m not using, but that feels like letting you go, like I’m giving up on you, and I’m not ready to do that.  So I’m going to keep paying that bill, okay?

But as I was saying, this envelope was just sitting on your desk!  Just your name on it, too.  At first I thought you were finally getting your Hogwarts letter, because it’s in a really fancy envelope.  It wasn’t, by the way.  Damn, I’m really rambling today.  Sorry.  I’m just … tired.  But I wanted to read you this letter before I head out to see a few more clients.  Here we go:

Dear Shawn,

It has come to my attention that you have been gravely injured and are in a coma in Santa Barbara Hospital.  My contact has informed me that you’ve been in this state for nearly two months now.  I am devastated to hear about this, and hope that by the time this letter finds you, you have awoken and are back to your normal self.  If not, then I can only hope that your friend Mr. Guster will be kind enough to read you this letter.

I regret that I was unable to visit you myself, but as I am currently wanted in no less than four countries, I thought it best to stay away from any place that is crawling with police officers.  I don’t know if you are aware of this, but between your lovely lady friend and her grumpy assistant, along with all of your other friends at the SBPD, you have an officer of the peace in your hospital room nearly around the clock.  And I know what you’re thinking – I made my name sneaking in and out of impenetrable places.  You would be right.  Perhaps I cannot face seeing you in such a terrible way with my own eyes.

You must recover soon!  I stole a lovely Van Gogh in your honor, but there was no way I could have mailed it to you without its being confiscated by the authorities.  I do think of you every time I see it upon my mantle.  

Sincerely,

Pierre Despereaux, Gentleman & Art Thief 

Did you hear that, Shawn?  Your iffy role model Despereaux is even worried about you.  I know that you would – for some reason – do anything to make that man proud.  So what do you say?  You ready to wake up yet?

…

Dammit, Shawn.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take.

***

Hey, there, Goose.  

I know it’s been a while since I’ve visited, but I’m actually on a conference tour right now, and your father is keeping me up to date on all developments.  You look nice today – your father just gave you a shave, and though it’s not the most even of cuts, it makes you look more like yourself.  

So, your father called me yesterday in near hysterics.  He said that you had shown the first signs of waking – when your nurse took your blood, you pulled away.  For the first time since all this started, you reacted to something in your surroundings.  Of course, I flew right in.

You haven’t responded to anything since, though.  Shawn, I –

You know I love you, right?  I realize that I’ve never been the best at this sort of thing – at being a mother.  I know I didn’t always make the right decisions.  Even now, I…

I miss you, son.  If you can hear me at all – and I know that you can – please, please, just… whatever is trapping you in your own mind, whether it is fear or trauma or pain or … please, just.  Come back to us.  I – 

Oh, Henry, when did you get back?  No, you don’t have to leave, I –  No, no, I’m fine, I told you I’m fine, I – 

 – It’s all right, Maddie.  I’ve got you.  You don’t always have to be strong, you know. – 

***

Okay, Shawn, I know I normally try to keep things light and positive, but I don’t think I have it in me to do that today.  I’m sorry, I just…

Today sucked, you know?  Like, really sucked.  Well, if I’m being honest, the past seven months have sucked.  But today was extra special.  

I won’t burden you with all of the details, but work was difficult today.  Lassiter and I got assigned a tough case, and, well, it didn’t end up the way we’d hoped.  Long story short, we uncovered a dirty cop.  It was, um… do you remember Lawson?  He worked in narcotics.  Turns out he’s done some things … hurt some people.  He wasn’t always accountable out in the field, and some things came to light.  Anyway.  It’s a mess.

And then there’s this whole thing with you.  I just … every time it looks like you’re making improvements, you just … you just retreat back into yourself, and I feel like I’m losing you more every day.  I promised you when this all started, on day one, that I would wait for you, that I would be patient, and I’m trying, but…

It’s not that I want to leave you or anything.  Not at all.  My patience is just wearing thin, and I can’t sleep and night and every day I wake up terrified to look at my phone, because what if I have a message that you’ve woken up, but that you don’t remember me at all?  Or worse, what if I get a message that you’ll never wake up again?  

Our bed feels empty.  I sleep with Mr. Snuggles every night, though – do you remember Mr. Snuggles, you know, the bear you won me at the fair when we started dating?  He’s soft, but he’s wearing a bit thin.  I guess holding a stuffed animal like it’s a lifeline every night for over half a year will do that, but I’m afraid he’s going to break soon.

I think… 

I think I’m already broken, Shawn, and I can’t – 

I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, I don’t mean to… I just miss you.

Did you know that I kiss you every night before I leave?  Nothing fancy, just a single, light kiss on the lips.  Sometimes I pretend that you’re the damsel in distress and I’m Prince Charming, and I almost manage to convince myself that when I pull back, your eyes will be fluttering open to look at me, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty.  But every time, you stay asleep.

Maybe this time, you’ll wake up.  Can you do it for me, baby?  Please?

…

Well, it was worth a try.  I miss the way you used to kiss me back.  I’ll try again tomorrow.

I’ll never stop trying.  

I love you, Shawn.

***

I just don’t get it, Mr. Spencer.  The doctors say he’s recovered from his injuries almost perfectly.  Even the head injury, on the surface, has healed.  Why isn’t he waking up?  It’s been eleven months!

If I knew, Gus, I’d be the first to tell you, but I have no idea what’s going on inside that thick head of his. 

I’m sorry.  I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, too.  I shouldn’t be –  

Gus.  Just like I told Jules, we have to be here for each other.  That’s all we can do.  That, and be here for Shawn when he wakes up. 

If he wakes up.

Don’t say that, Gus.  You know Shawn.  He’s the most stubborn person either of us knows.  He’ll wake up.  He’ll make it through this. 

How long are we going to keep telling ourselves that?  He’s been comatose for almost a year, Mr. Spencer.  Every time he shows signs of coming back, he just… doesn’t.  How long do we keep waiting?  Two years?  Five?  How long until we’ve reached the point of no return?  Will we even know it when we see it?

Gus, the point of no return doesn’t happen until he stops breathing, and that’s not going to happen, okay?  We stick by Shawn until our prayers are answered or are no longer necessary.  Got it? 

You’re right, I’m so sorry.  Of course I’d never give up on Shawn, I’m just so tired –

Shhhh! 

I am pouring my heart out here!  I let you cry on my shoulder yesterday, and you won’t even let me –

First off, I wasn’t crying, and even if it was, I wouldn’t be doing it on your shoulder.  Secondly, I could have sworn I saw – yes!  He’s moving!  Do you see his hand, Gus?  Gus! 

I … I dunno Mr. Spencer.  Could be another false alarm.

Maybe, but… this feels different.  Shawn?  Shawn?  Can you hear me, bud?  Can you open your eyes? 

He’s stopped moving.  His heart rate’s normalizing.  I think –

“D-dad?”

Oh my – thank GOD, Gus, get a doctor, get a nurse – call Jules – Shawn, Shawn, can you hear me? 

“Dad?”

I’m here, Shawn, I’m here.  Open your eyes for me – there you go.  Gus has gone to get the nurse.  He’ll be back with someone in a second. 

“Jules?”

She’ll be here, she’s just outside.  Thank God you’re awake, I – 

“I h-heard, Dad.”

What? 

“I heard.  Everything.”

You did, huh? 

“Yeah… do you a-always sound like a dying lawn mower when you cry?”

Dammit, Shawn, can’t you let me enjoy having you back for one second before you ruin it?

“L-love you, too, Dad.”

…

Welcome back, son.  It’s good to see you smile again. 

“Yeah, you too, dad – weird… But good.”

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 70 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 170 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

--

RATE THE EPISODE 167 responses

This episode received good ratings, though it wasn’t as hype as previous episodes have been. We presume this is likely due to the primary focus on Gabi and Falco over the Survey Corps/Warriors. Overall, though, the episode was solid for most respondents. 

Beautiful😍✨

MAPPAGOAT 

Its pretty good

Alright for what it was.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING GABI AND FALCO MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 167 responses

The majority of the most favored Gabi/Falco moments from the episode were in the second half, starting with Gabi’s unfortunate encounter with the horse with 29.9% of the vote. Behind that is Kaya and Gabi’s argument about why Kaya’s mom had to die with 27.5% of the vote. At 21.6%, Kaya remembering Sasha was favored and at 13.2% was Kaya taking Gabi and Falco to her old home. 

Gabi's character is so real. LOVED her and Kaya's argument; the va's went all out & it made me cry

Why do ask us what our favorite Gabi/Falco moment was without the option "I don't have one?" Falco's cool and all but Gabi's story has literally been nothing but a drag to me from start to finish

Would have chosen the horse thing for my favorite moment but went with Kaya remembering Sasha instead. At this point so close to the end of the manga I'd rather focus more on moments with characters I enjoy than obsessing with a character I utterly despise having some misfortune (to put it mildly)

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS FOCUSING ON OTHER CHARACTERS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 168 responses

This pie chart was a bit more colorful than the previous one, with the largest piece going to Mikasa’s headache with her flashback to the night Eren saved her (26.2%). Behind that moment, 16.7% most enjoyed Hange confronting Floch and Co. about their involvement in leaking information about Eren, 16.1% favored seeing Hange remembering Sannes’ warning. 14.9% liked seeing Mikasa and Louise’s brief conversation in the dungeon and 13.1% liked the moment with Magath and the Warriors discussing their retaliation. 

GIVE HANGE A BREAK </3

WHICH FLASHBACK HAD THE MOST EMOTIONAL IMPACT FOR YOU? 169 responses

Nearly half of respondents were most touched by the moment at the end of the episode where Kaya talks about Sasha saving her and says she wishes to become a person like her. 29.6% got most emotional over seeing the flashback to the night Eren saved Mikasa, and 18.3% were most impacted by Hange remembering Sannes’ warning.

RATE JEAN’S OUTFIT 169 responses

Jean doesn’t do anything in this episode really, but he sure did come dressed in, erm, a unique outfit. Overall most people were neutral or felt that he needs to up his fashion game. Although 34.3% altogether ranked on the higher end, feeling he’s a total fashion icon. We’re questioning the legitimacy of these claims or whether they were just being sarcastic for the fun of it. lol

WHO WERE YOU MORE EXCITED ABOUT TO SEE SHIRTLESS? 159 responses

Eren thirst won out on this question, with 70.4% being most excited to see his half naked body in the previous episode. Though Reiner stans came through for him in their support of his shirtless moment this week with nearly 30% of the vote (and commentary).

Poundtown

More half naked Reiner thx

My only disappointment is that the shirtless reiner scene wasn't longer.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE AN EXCUSE TO TALK TO YELENA? 169 responses

When asked if respondents would like an excuse to have a conversation with our chaotic bae Yelena, 40.2% said they would absolutely love a reason to talk to her. 29% aren’t sure if they would want to or not, while 16.6% were a solid “no.” 14.2% didn’t care about this question. 

Yelena is hot

AS ALWAYS, WE’RE GONNA ABOUT CUTS. MAPPA LEFT OUT FALCO’S THOUGHTS ABOUT IT NOT BEING THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL GABI HE DELIVERED EREN’S LETTERS. THOUGHTS? 165 responses

There was a brief moment in the manga after Gabi’s misfortune with the horse where Falco thinks to himself about how he’s not yet ready to tell Gabi about his involvement in Eren’s attack on Liberio. 35.8% had completely forgotten this was a thing at all, while 24.2% felt it would have been a nice thing to keep, although ultimately unneeded. 20.6% feel it wasn’t a big deal since he tells her later anyway, and 9.7% feel that this thought of his will come up at a later time. 

I honestly forgot about it but it would have been really cool to see his thoughts in a better way, if that makes sense.

MAPPA ALSO CUT THE BEGINNING OF PIXIS AND YELENA’S CONVERSATION WHERE HE ASKS HER ABOUT HER CELL, TO WHICH SHE RESPONDS IT WOULD HAVE A BETTER VIEW WITHOUT THE BARS. THOUGHTS? 165 responses

Though a small detail, a few lines were cut from Pixis and Yelena’s conversation as well. 42.4% feel that it was unneeded and feel ok with the cut. 23% thought it wasn’t necessary to begin with, and 20.6% had completely forgotten about this as well. A handful didn’t care or feel saddened by less Yelena content. 

Maybe the actress wouldn’t come in to say one line l idk

I knew something was missing

HOW DOES IT FEEL GETTING TO RELIVE GABI’S EARLY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AGAIN? 167 responses

We get to reexperience Gabi’s evolution from a perpetuator of Marleyan propaganda to someone who learns to “understand Reiner’s feelings” and see that those she was taught to hate are just like her. 25.1% of respondents feel unbothered by her initial resistance to see things any other way as they know where her arc is headed. 22.2% were never annoyed by this facet of her character to begin with and are totally enjoying the ride. 15% love her but can’t help but feel frustrated by these early moments of her development. 13.8% have always felt annoyed by her character and so their feelings remain unchanged, and 10.8% simply stated that they had forgotten just how annoyed they felt by her at all in the early portion of this arc. 

It's annoying AF but looking back/knowing what I know now makes me more empathetic to her storyline. She still annoying AF rn, though.

Back then I was just antsy to get back to the other plot lines. But I’m enjoying this a LOT more this time around.

It's a mix of painful and Gabi I love you but you need sense knocked into you, ya know?

Always hated her, always will, nothing the anime does changes my hatred of her

To quote Eren, "I always hated you".

I feel bad for her, she doesn't deserve this

She’s so annoying but I found Eren just as annoying in the beginning and I grew into loving the character. The get the reasons for her character but boy yams really made her so fucking annoying

Gabi Braun Must Die

HOW DO YOU THINK GABI’S BELIEFS WOULD HAVE DEVELOPED HAD SHE BEEN THE ONE TO MEET EREN INSTEAD OF FALCO? 168 responses

The majority has spoken. 54.8% feel that if Gabi had been the one to encounter Eren at the hospital, her views would have mostly remained the same, as opposed to Falco who was probably a better person to put into that role narratively speaking. 24.4% don’t want to say for sure as there is no way we will ever know, and 14.3% feel that she would have had her views altered to a slight degree, but would still not have been as empathetic to Eren as Falco was.

DID KAYA TALKING ABOUT WANTING TO BE LIKE SASHA HAVE MORE EMOTIONAL IMPACT ON YOU WHEN INITIALLY READING IT IN THE MANGA, OR IN THE ANIME? 168 responses

Overall, the anime had a profound effect on the emotions of the audience. 36.9% state that they were equally impacted in both mediums, though if a side was chosen, 32.7% felt that the anime made the scene more impactful, versus only 19% who thought that Isayama nailed it better in the manga. Only 11.3% were unaffected by this scene in either medium.

PORCO AND PIECK GOT ADDED DIALOGUE IN THE ENDING SCENE, ARGUING THAT THEY MUST RETRIEVE GABI AND FALCO DUE TO THEM BEING VALUABLE WARRIOR CANDIDATES, AND THAT IT WOULD TAKE YEARS TO RETRAIN A NEW BATCH. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS INCLUSION? 167 responses

MAPPA included dialogue of Porco and Pieck vouching for saving Gabi and Falco ASAP, arguing that they should get them for the sake of the warrior program and that losing their talent would be a blow, and it would take ages to train up new warrior candidates. This is most likely just their excuse to appeal to Magath while wanting to save Gabi and Falco because they care about them. 41.9% felt that their commentary added more depth to the situation and the urgency to retaliate against Paradis and get Gabi and Falco back. 28.1% were simply content to get more content of them. 18% weren’t super excited about it, just stating that it was alright, while 9.6% just felt “meh” about the addition. 

I like how they all piled on about the need to take immediate action

I want to say I enjoyed it and it added depth but thinking about it longer makes it sound like they only care about rescuing them only because their valuable warrior candidates. Like, it makes it seem like they don't actually care that much about them, even if I know that's not the case. LOL 

Any extra scene with Pieck is much appreciated!!

made me sad that they only see them as soldiers and not kids that need saving.

WHICH MOMENT FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 165 responses

The vast majority (65.5%) of manga readers are most excited to see Zackley blowing up in the anime (bye bye, poop machine!). At a distant second was seeing Eren his cell at 22.4%. Only 7.3% are looking forward to seeing Mikasa and Armin pleading with Zackley to see Eren, and Yelena and Pixis got minimal love. 

My memory is not working well, did Wit showed Zackleys poop machine or was it supposed to be shown in the next episode?

WE GOT CONFIRMATION THAT EPISODE 16 OF THIS SEASON IS GOING TO END ON CHAPTER 116. THOUGHTS? 159 responses

The plurality of respondents (42.8%) seemed a bit disappointed, but had no problem accepting this cliffhanger. 27% seemed rather displeased, but nonetheless were also understanding of MAPPA’s decision. In contrast, 10.7% looked back to the Promotional Video (which had content from up 122) and expressed their PAIN. 8.2% actually wanted the season to end on this cliffhanger, so they were rather pleased instead. We also received a lot of write-ins.  

There absolutely needs to be season part 2, i don't accept any early endings

I am... not sure yet.

As long as it means less cut content lmao

Don't really care much where it's gonna end. I just hope the pacing is good.

i read it ages ago idek which chapter 116 is

I want people to stop complaining about the trailer “lying to them”.  Also my anime only gf is going to be very frustrated with where episode 16 ends.

I thought it would end with 122 according to the preview and it would have been, IMO one of the best cliff hanger ever since all the logic of the plot turns around with revelation about Eren path shenangians. However, I think it's really fine since it allowed MAPPA to take its time to show us the story without making to much choices or compromise. It also means longer s4 part2 if there's one.

I dare you to stop at chapter 114 and fluster up all Levi fans

I am going to die waiting for Paths. 

I need to recheck chapter 116 I forgot about almost everything happened after ema encounter in 112 :D

I don't care as long as they all cover it eventually.

Chapter 119 would have been a better end, but well, I'm gradually learning to lower my expectations for this season

I just roll with whatever they give me xD only fearing Hange's farewell </3

:((((

both 122 and 116 are okay for me tbh

It's all fine to me

Someone explain this whole "ending on chapter 116" thing please

It should've been 117 :/

I was hoping for 119, but I get why they picked 116

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING FOR AS A CONTINUATION? 169 responses

In a nearly unanimous vote, the large majority of respondents feel that the series is best wrapped up with a “part 2” of the final season over the potential for MAPPA to conclude things as a movie (or as movies). Hopefully we’ll have an answer from MAPPA on this front at the end of this run. :)

Another season or movie series works as long as they keep to the source material

I’m happy with either. 

I really really reeeeeeally hope it's not movies. I do not want movies! It would take literal years for fans outside of Japan to get a proper conclusion to the series. Last time people waited years for a season so many people stopped caring, moved on and the popularity took a huge hit it never recovered from. I'm worried that due to Demon Slayer's success they're gonna get greedy but SNK movies wouldn't even make a fraction of what Demon Slayer made. That series is a behemoth over there, it's insane. And I love SNK but Evangelion it is not, and people aren't going to wait and will lose interest. Just please, NO MOVIES!

Final Season Part 2 BUT with lots of time to adapt it

part two but don't call it part two XD.... let's stay in a hiatus for an anime season or 2. or more i don't care , i hope they have enough time to make the amazing job they are doing right now :) 

Series Spin-Off after Final Season Part 2 !!

A movie would be super sick but unrealistic

Whatever MAPPA decides is best

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

The scenery is a 10/10

gabi braun and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad island vacation. 

Gabi sucks

All hail the Eldian Empire

I thought it was overall really good and funny because of the scenes where falco and gabi were just arguing,, it didn’t have much blood and all but I still really liked it!

I never noticed this in the manga, but seeing gabi constantly almost give them away and falco anxiously making up excuses felt like watching reiner and bert again 😂 

Gabbbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!! Kaya MVP btw.

Bless MAPPA for delivering on the shirtless scenes after we got robbed in Season 3. lol :p But seriously, this episode's scenery was gorgeous.

It was like the calm before the storm that's about to come with the next episode. Episode 71 will be when everything starts to violently turn

people should understand Gabi's character even more

I think Falco was very cute the whole time

Gabi beating that guard was way more brutal in the anime, but the scene of her slapping Lisa's hand away was badly done here.

It was a bit boring, but it was needed for character development

One thing I noticed about this episode is how heavily it featured female characters being influenced by other female characters/female characters in general (Louise and Mikasa; Kaya and Sasha; Kaya and Gabi; arguably Hange depending on how you identify them) which was a nice reminder that of the fact that AOT isn't one of those shows that falls heavily in the 'one token girl' dynamic. Isayama worked to include a wide variety of female characters with very differing outlooks, which clash occasionally, without it ever being about romance. 

Like most of this season (except episodes 1 and 7 maybe), I appreciate Mappa's work but that's all. I'm sad, disappointed, and I guess it's a good thing this season will end on chapter 116. Let's hope they will have enough time to adapt Part 2 and make it legendary, because this first part is good at best. Also, I totally forgot how annoying Gabi was back then. I really like her now, but geez, she was awful this episode.

Felt good to see Gabi get horsebite all over again. Can't wait to see how MAPPA extends Nicolo punching her lol

cool episode, i’m looking forward to seeing more of gabi’s development in the future episodes :))

The horror of mikasa's newly resignified memory... PERFECT. i was fearing they would use wit's romanticized scene... which worked just fine in the first season BUT NOT NOW! because the whole connotation of the memory is different. ALSO! the scenery was insane! 

Horse for President!

Damn, MAPPA's killing it on the scenery this episode. I really enjoyed the animation as well as the plot and voice acting.

In spite of the animation quality I had to give it an obligatory 1 because it was a Gabi episode, and anything involving Gabi automatically decreases the overall quality of the story

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 156 responses

Thank you again to everyone who participated!

[viahoshi]

only those who are forgotten die  // k.sy

pairing — kwon soonyoung x female protagonist genre — heavy angst, enemies to lovers (?) warnings — swearing, death, blood, murder, major character death and any kinds of criminal stuff words — 2.8k summary — the one where kwon soonyoung needs a new partner in crime note — this is highly inspired from the series, vis a vis as I can’t seem to move on from the character death, I created another one myself. The italic writings are flashbacks, the dialogue ones are the current time. Enjoy♡

“How did you meet him?”

“Do you know that one quote from Dostoyevsky that says: We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who interest us at first sight. Somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.”

“Do you like Dostoyevsky?”

“No.” She firmly answered, “He did, though.” 

“So, you two were strangers at first who suddenly grew closer?”

“You can say that. Even though he worked with my brother, I had never greeted him before. Their latest heist went wrong, so wrong. My brother died, and he got into jail. I wanted to greet him personally after he was out to get revenge, you know? Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.”

“You were planning to murder him.”

“Mmm- yes.”

“When did the latest bus pass?” Soonyoung asks while wearing his black leather jacked in the middle of the heat of July, rubs his hands together, takes slow steps to the bus stop before turning back again.

“5 minutes ago.”

“And the next one will come in-?”

“40 minutes.”

Soonyoung signs before placing his sunglasses on his nose bridge, and takes another step towards the bus stop before turning around again just to stare at the place he spent most of his youth into. The world seems too large for the young man as he keeps groaning.

Soonyoung was a restless man. He almost appreciates the person who stopped their car for him. Almost. He sharply groans when he recognizes the woman stepping out of the car. The familiar appearance of the girl looks nothing like the one he saw years ago. The way her expression has no marks of distress and uneasiness makes him feel nauseous.

“What are you doing here?”

Soonyoung knows that he was miserably dishonoring his uncaring aura as he shifts from left to right at where he was standing. His hands became sweaty and unsteady in his pockets, failing himself. His features told a different story, and his hands showed another. 

“Every single night when I close my eyes, I see nothing but the two police officers arriving at our house to state that my brother was dead. I acknowledged that everything would go downhill, but I wasn’t foreseeing it to happen this fast. Their son was dead, and their daughter was conceivably a psychopath. All the people I loved and trusted turned their backs to me after that, just like it was my responsibility. You do not understand how it makes your head to be free, but not having anybody.”

He pouted in surprise while nodding, almost as if he was waiting for her to finish and leave, “Nope, I have no fucking idea.”

“I heard you’ve been a very good boy.” Her voice expresses nothing but sarcasm, lips form a smirk, hand raises to remove the hood of her sweatshirt which was closed the whole time, then moves before her eyes to block the steady sunbeams coming to her eyes.

“Yeah, I helped the police in two cases.”

“We’re all falling in line in the end, aren’t we?”

Soonyoung looks at her, tries to read her expression, studies the way her lips curl up on the ends when she smiles, and how her face creases when she fails to block the sunbeams.

“Really, what are you doing here?” Soonyoung asks again, wonder takes over as he glares behind the faint print of his sunglasses.

The girl takes her time glancing at the left and right side of the road, “The bus isn’t coming,” she glimpses back at him, “do you want a ride?”

Soonyoung takes his sunglasses off, and the girl studies the unique frame of his eyes, “To the cemetery.”

“He wanted to visit my brother’s grave. He tried to look undisturbed, but I knew he was. I left him there and returned to work.”

“Then what happened?”

“It didn’t take him a long time for him to locate the place I worked. When he came in, I thought I was seeing things, I used to daydream about him a lot at work, and I’m not talking about pleasing daydreams.”

“So you want us to become a duo? Like Bonnie and Clyde, Thelma and Louise?”

“No, that wouldn’t work out. You and me, as a limited liability company. [y/n] & Soonyoung LLC.”

His words make the girl throw her head back and giggle in doubt, “You’re trying to sacrifice me to protect your own ass as you did to my brother?”

“You’re talking as if you weren’t plotting to kill me for years.”

“You see, I hate you and you hate me. Why are you so sure that I won’t stab you in your sleep?”

“Hate is the greatest motivator.” The girl could picture his half smirk even though she has her back turned against him. He continues while standing up and making her way towards her, “We have another option, we don’t see each other again until we meet on a tour bus for seniors, heading to the beach.”

Edges of the girl’s mouth lifts, it’s crystal clear that his words satisfied her, the thought of replacing her brother giving her stomach slight tingles as she imagines the bad things she always wanted to do in her life but never could, “Okay, let’s do it.”

“And this is how our shared life began as a mismatched twosome who everyone thinks: They’re going to kill each other. With the money we made, we bought our first house, a baby blue caravan. We instantly learned the secret to a good marriage, trusting each other. We weren’t friends, we shared nothing. But as much as we didn’t like it, together we were the best. The perfect couple, precisely because we didn’t love each other. We found the perfect amount of space to not kill each other, neither too close nor too far.”

“You lived like a domestic couple, how come you could undoubtedly trust each other in such a little time.”

“Not a domestic couple, but more like a husband and wife in their eighties who have over 20 grandchildren, but no one visits if that makes sense.”

“Tell me about the things you did respectively, how did you spend your time?”

“We had nothing noteworthy to do, so he bought two chairs and we just sat on the roof of the caravan, on the opposing sides. That was the agreement.”

“And the robberies? How did you follow through with that?”

“We started with big targets, casinos. We would quarrel during the heist and people would just look at us like we’re lunatics.”

“No one move!” Soonyoung raises his voice, puts his hand behind his head, and holds onto his gun smoothly, “Put your hands behind your head like how I’m doing it. I won’t say it again, okay?”

The young boy doesn’t hesitate to wander towards the money source and doesn’t even consider it necessary to turn towards the girl before commanding pointedly, “The cash. I’ll deal with the cashier, you take care of the hags.”

“Excuse me?” The girl’s attitude catches him off guard as he stares at her in uncertainty. He chuckles softly before running his hand through his pitch black hair. “We’re not having this discussion here. Not now.”

“Why? Why do you need to be in charge of the money?” She cocks her head to the side, not bothered by the weirded looks of the people surrounding her. Soonyoung takes a step towards her, eyes and mouth wide open, “Any problems?”

“The problem is you fucking always put yourself above me,” Soonyoung takes another step towards her to hear her better, “shit, are we really going to start our first job together like this?”

Soonyoung gets much closer to her than he was moments ago, uneasy as he keeps peeking towards the woman who’s filling the bag with money, “We’re already splitting it 50/50.”

“It’s not a matter of money, it’s a matter of attitude.” Her look changes as her voice rises, “Either stop looking down on me or this is over.”

Soonyoung tries to change his expression, softens his voice, whisper screaming, “Is this the right place to talk about this?”

The girl walks over to him completely, face inches away from each other, feeling each other’s breaths on their faces. She whispers, “Are we equals? Yes or no.”

“We have to go.”

“I don’t care. Not before we clarify this. Equals or nothing, you decide.”

Soonyoung lowers his gun, steps away from her, spits while gritting his teeth, “Very well, equals. In sickness and in health, till death do us apart, amen.”

She nods, visibly satisfied. Giggles when she catches Soonyoung grumbling about how more effortless it is to work with a man rather than a woman.

“And that’s how we carried out together. It wasn’t the Bonnie and Clyde story you would predict, but days like this made me neglect the murder plots going on in my head. And that baby blue caravan was the closest thing I had that resembled ‘home’ to me, if that makes sense.”

“How would you define ‘home’?”

“Home? I don’t know.”

She gets a decent amount of shampoo in her hands before pressing them to Soonyoung’s airy locks, sudden contact of her hands sends shivers down his spine as he tries to get comfortable in his chair, relaxes his muscles while the girl runs her hands through his dark hair. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

“Did you knew that hair doesn’t stop growing after you’re dead?”

“And you want your hair to look sleek in the morgue?”

“No, I just want to talk without looking at your face.”

She eases her hand movements as if she waits for him to continue, he goes on, speaking softer than he did before, “I was 12 years old when my mother married to that pig. He brought nothing but misery and discomfort to the only place I knew as ‘home’. My mother neglected me, trying to be a suitable partner for that bastard,” he chuckles hysterically before continuing, “I was 15 years old when they send me to an orphanage, too old for adoption, too rebel for that environment. I fled from there at 18, and that’s when I met your brother, been doing this shit ever since.”

Soonyoung would pity himself sometimes, only life could be a little kinder to him, only if the world would have a little mercy for him, everything could’ve gone differently.

“Soonyoung”

“Mmm.”

“What is it?”

“There’s no need to run if you have a home, and the time we spent in the caravan, in the camper is the closest thing I’ve ever had to a home. I wanted you to know that.”

She lets the teardrop she keeps in her flow on her cheek, her lips curl up, forms a faint smile, “It was special for me too.”

She sniffs, grabs the water from the small bowl and rinses his hair. “Even though, to tell the truth, you’re a shitty roommate.” She grabs the towel and throws it to him, making him giggle like a little kid.

“And you droll in your sleep.” He turns towards her.

“So you watch me while I sleep?”

“No, I don’t watch you, you’re just making weird noises and it draws my attention.”

“Fuck you.” Her face lights up before grabbing the pot full of water and wetting his whole torso, his light colored jeans making the situation already more apparent than it already is. He laughs aloud before grabbing the fountain and pointing it towards her, their laughs brighter than the sun, for the first time after a long time.

"No.”

“No what?”

“I already know what you’re going to ask. Everyone wonders whether Thelma and Louise fucked or not. We did not. We did not fuck.”

“Okay.”

“And also, just clearing it for the record, we weren’t in a relationship either. We didn’t talk about any shit except the heists, that’s it.”

“Okay, good to know.”

The fairy lights inside of the caravan are shining in the colors of the rainbow as the girl sways to the beat of the song playing in the background. The drink in her hand matches the color of her colored sunglasses, giving her a vintage vibe. Soonyoung lies on his back, watching the way her body moves. She notices how his expression seems so cloddish, approaches him so that their noses touch, “Is this your first time?”

“What?” He tries to brush her off, not breaking the eye contact.

“Yes it is,” she laughs breathily, “this is your first time doing ecstasy.”

Soonyoung pushes her away and stands up to sit comfortably, “This isn’t getting me high at all.”

His tone of voice makes the girl giggle, “Right, you’re not high at all.” Her voice carries no expression but lust and sarcasm at the same time.

“At all.” Soonyoung keeps arguing while giggling and shaking his head.

“You don’t feel… Euphoria, empathy? This- sort of- uh- love? For anyone? I thought those were your favorite emotions.” She smiles sheepishly.

“When does this shit end?” He asks, not betraying his uncaring aura even when high.

Her sarcasm slowly drops and she feels alone with nothing but lust in her heart. She looks at him with an innocent expression, reminding him of those kids who want to buy candy in a convenience store, “Do you know what I want to do right now?”

“What?”

She gets closer to his face again, looks directly at his eyes, looks directly at his soul, “I want to touch your face.”

“Jesus, fuck no.” He stands up to go to the table which is decorated with various of liquor and grabs the entire bottle of the alcohol, drinks an enormous amount of it until the girl makes her way towards him again.

She moves her hand towards his face; he flinches when her hand contacts his skin. Her fingertips travel on his nose bridge, his cheekbones, his lips, his jawline. She leaves her fingerprints all over his face gently. Soonyoung chuckles but doesn’t move away, he doesn’t look away either. He enjoys the feeling that comes up to his spine as he keeps touching his face.

The air inside the caravan is thick, but it feels lighted than air for Soonyoung as he feels the butterflies in his stomach gently waking as she travels her fingertips along his sharp features. He pants, he doesn’t know if it’s because of the drug, or her.

“We’re not going to fuck, that’s what we agreed for.” He whispers while looking at her with a blank expression.

“You think I want to fuck with you?” She smiles again, and he nods.

“That makes little sense, does it?” She argues again, still looking at him with the same smile on her face and the same tone of her voice, seductive, “Oh well, let’s go to bed then.” And the first thing Soonyoung does when she turns her back at him to walk towards the bed is to grab her by her hair and pull her back towards his body. She laughs in surprise, her heartbeat rises as he pushes her front towards the wall.

And the rest is just a blur.

The next morning, she wakes up to Soonyoung practicing gunshots. She makes him and herself a cup of tea before making her way towards him. “About last night, that was stupid.”

“Yeah. By the way, I made the plan for the next heist.” He grabs the handle of the cup and responds in a sassy way.

“Well, you can tell me later.”

Soonyoung chuckles.

“Do you have any regrets?”

“Only if I looked back before leaving.”

“No.”

Soonyoung stretches out the beautifully packed gift, catching the attention of the girl who was sitting outside despite the cold air. She looks at him in doubt, “Kwon Soonyoung gives presents? Is that a bomb? Or an internal organ of one of your relatives? Perhaps it’s a scorpion-”

“Fuck, just take it.”

She hesitantly takes the gift and opens it just to find a polaroid camera inside, laughs while opening the box, taking the camera out. “Do you want to take a picture?”

“Yes. So you can remember we were young, we were hot, and we were free, and we felt a little, just a little less lonely together.”

She looks at the camera, and back at him before standing up, “Cool, let’s do it.”

The bright flash of the camera makes Soonyoung’s eyes hurt a little. He turns to her as the film gets released from the machine. He bounces slowly, reminding the girl of a little kid while smiling softly, waiting for the polaroid to darken. She gives the polaroid film to him after looking at it.

“Merry Christmas, asshole.”

“You too, princess.”

“Do you think things have worked out differently?”

“Things should have gone differently. I must have been in Italy or France, not here talking to you.”

“What about him?”

“What about him? Death didn’t intimidate me, nor him. There will still be winters and summers. It’s not like people will stop celebrating Christmas, or a child won’t get a birthday present. The gone is gone, and the world goes on, it’s nothing I can ease. However, he’s not dead.”

“How come?”

“Only those who are forgotten die, I’d like to consider he’ll be living for a long time.”

[dream-girls-evil]

Ratched: Episode 8 Reactions

Three Months Later

It’s here! The finale!!! I did watch this while slightly intoxicated

Pinecone people aren’t creepy, nope, not at all

....Shrunken Apple, however

Literally who let Louise work here (I know it’s Betsy but still)

“Louise, I love and pity you, but you terrify the patients”

Ooh Louise and Betsy aren’t on the same page about Edmund anymore—and therefore probably about Mildred as well

Ooh Mildred and Gwen 😍

Oh honey. Chemo is no fun 😞

Ahhh the classic lesbian pose! No for real, historically pictures of women posed with one sitting and the other kneeling or one standing and the other sitting, that kind of thing, was used to signify that a book or magazine or what have you was about a lesbian relationship

Well, it seems like Mildred’s come to terms with not being able to save Edmund, but does Edmund know that?

Oop and Mildred is imagining dying in Mexico. Romantic?

Aw Mildred. So hopeful. I really hope Gwen is okay.

Ah I was right it seems that Mildred doesn’t work at Lucia anymore

Betsy found a woman doctor yay!!!

Betsy really coming through with comforting Mildred! Still the must unexpected alliance

Her tune changes a little when Mildred isn’t around, but I still don’t think she really believes in execution, and she can feel sympathy for Mildred’s pain without forgiving Edmund for his crimes

What if Edmund just like, made a dashing getaway on horseback? No?

Is Mildred gonna be here watching the execution?

Ugh this asshole governor—OH the electric chair...this is going to be much more painful than an injection. Mildred’s going to panic and realize she has to figure out something to save Edmund?

Oh my god he’s on fire. This is horrible.

Ew can they kill him? The way he thinks it’s okay to talk about their bodies is disgusting.

Okay so Mildred is still not arguing for a stay of execution, just for going back to the injection.

Gwen putting her arm behind Mildred’s back and touching her hand is so sweet but like be careful

The LOOK Mildred gives him

The close ups on this guy’s mouth make me so uncomfortable

Gwen check yourself.

Aaand he knows.

Dude that is FAR from the only reason she wouldn’t sleep with you.

Oh good so at least he’s not a homophobe (insert eye roll here)

Lmao Betsy I really don’t think they’re here to talk about catered lunches

Is Mildred gonna try to kill him herself? Ah Yep.

Angels of mercy 🙃

I do not think this is going to go smoothly. Edmund’s going to get away, isn’t he? And he’s going to HATE Mildred. Maybe he already hates her for not being able to save him from this.

Haha he thinks there’s rat poison in the food. That would be far too simple.

Suddenly Edmund is just a little kid talking about animals

The Escape

Charlotte Wells!!!

Not Charlotte Wells. Technically.

...no. Don’t tell me.

Y E P omg they’re really saying she absorbed Dr Hanover as another personality after killing him?

Does Betsy even know Hanover is dead? Did Mildred ever tell her?

Omg wonder if Charlotte is gonna help Edmund escape. I mean, that was Hanover’s plan with Charlotte—spirit her away so that he could cure her and prove himself.

Nothing bad better happen to Huck. Like they’re trusting him to help with Edmund and now help with Charlotte WHO JUST FOUND A GUN.

Oh man that’s how Huck got his burns

Okay maybe reminding her of Harold isn’t the best idea. The man was murdered right in front of her.

NOOOO NOT HUCK

SECRET DOOR?! FUCK!!!

Why do people say “you’re gonna have to shoot me”? That’s like...a really good way to get shot.

YEEEP I WAS RIGHT SHE’S GONNA TAKE EDMUND

Do NOT shoot Betsy do NOT.

I love how Edmund still believes Mildred has a plan to save him.

Fuuuuck Betsy don’t tell him!!!

Fuck. I was right. He knows Mildred was going to kill him, and he’s going to hate her for it.

Fuck Mildred’s going to show up to Lucia and see that all of this has happened!!!

Lol what if she actually passed their car it would be like the meme

Omg she DID

1950

...and now suddenly it’s 1950???

Gwen!!! Well she’s got her hair back so I’m guessing she’s in remission

Edmund hasn’t killed again? Doubtful. He probably just changed his MO.

BETSY

I’m glad she’s cool with the lesbians

Good on Betsy for moving with the times and realizing her old treatments were bad

What is Mildred looking at?? Please don’t say Edmund. Is she just lost in thought or is she always on edge like this? Waiting to him to appear out of the shadows and take everything from her?

“It’s so nice to be rid of them” “Who?” “Men!” I LOVE IT

Fuck fuck fuck she’s going back to the house on her own. She’s gonna find something or he’s going to appear. She feels herself being watched. He’s there, isn’t he?

KNIFE OH NO

Good she has a gun, but this whole thing is definitely not going to get wrapped up that easy. It’s going to be a cliffhanger or otherwise drawn out.

CHARLOTTE FUCK

Bathing in blood okay Dandy

Fuuuck no bullets NO!!!

Omfg a DREAM?!?! I hate everything. That was too stressful.

Ahhh another pretty nightgown for Mildred!

I love Gwen comforting her. This is definitely a routine.

I love Betsy, she’s delightful.

Fuck I bet there’s actually gonna be something in the newspaper this time.

Multiple murder in Chicago.

Seven nurses. Yep that’s Edmund.

How long is this telephone cord?!

Someone she knows sold her out. But who knows she there except for Betsy?? Please don’t say it’s Betsy.

Ooh she’s coming for YOU, Edmund.

LOUISE GODDAMNIT

Thoughts and Theories

Well that was a ride!!! Honestly, nothing too unexpected, but that’s not a bad thing! A few plot twists are always good, but I hate stories where literally nothing is predictable, because then it’s just confusing. A good story should give you enough hints that by the end you can figure out how the pieces go together. Charlotte showing back up was a surprise, but as soon as she did, I could see where things were gonna go. Still raging about their portrayal of DID tho. And now we have the lead into next season! I still can’t believe it was Louise. She’s so kooky that it should be funny but man is she insufferable.

So now we’ve got the set up for next season: a cat and mouse game between Mildred and Edmund. Plus whoever they’ve got in tow. I highly doubt Edmund will keep Charlotte and Louise around for long, but Mildred has Gwen, and that’s worrying. Either she’s going to get left behind for safety or she’s going to get roped into this chase and something terrible will probably happen to her. There’s just really no good ending to this love story, considering we know who Mildred ends up being. Honestly, best case scenario is that Gwen leaves of her own volition because she can’t be okay with knowing there will probably be casualties in Mildred’s feud and that Mildred will consider them justified. But who knows? The last episode did redeem their relationship for me a bit though. It’s clear that there were definitely talks and negotiations during these past two years about Mildred’s past and how they communicate. I just wish we could have seen them.

Honestly, the thing that worries me most about this is that I have no idea how we’re going to end up getting to Cuckoo’s Nest from here. How and why will she end up back at Lucia after all of this? What will happen to Betsy and Gwen that they’re not with her anymore by the time she does? How is this personal fight with Edmund going to translate into her being someone who is really a product of an institutional problem? I actually have an essay in progress on the last point, which in summary is that I really don’t think they will be able to bridge that gap successfully or are even really trying to.

Final notes: I love Betsy Bucket and hope you enjoyed my reactions!

[mercuryonparklane]

I just found this one-shot I wrote based on ‘betty’ that has been sitting in my notes since September. I thought I’d share, if anyone is interested in that. The characters belong to Taylor and her co-writers, of course. I just borrowed them for this fic.

‘Please, come over’

Jamie Mann stares at the text for far too long, watching those three little dots appear and, then, disappear once again. Betty hates sending more than one text in a row. Even more than that, she can't stand it when a message goes unanswered.

Still, Jamie can't quite think of what to say. Her mind flashes back to prom two weeks earlier and the boy who swayed Betty around the dance floor while she laughed at his stupid jokes. Betty told her that she isn't interested in boys, but damnit if she isn't very good at hiding that fact.

Jamie throws her phone down next to her on the bed and pulls the hood of her sweatshirt over her head. She fiddles with the strings of the sweatshirt until she hears the ding of a new message.

'I'm in front of your house. Get your ass out here and hop in.'

Jamie fights the smile on her face, but she can't help feeling a little less hurt in the moment. August was the kind of friend who could convince you to do things you would never even think to do. Like the time they hopped the fence at school on a Friday night to smoke in the softball dugout. Or the time August managed to sneak them into some gay club in the city. Or the time they almost ditched the cop trying to pull her over for running a red light. Okay, so maybe they weren't actually going to try to escape and maybe August's uncle happened to be the cop in question. But still...

Jamie grabs her backpack and puts it on as she heads down stairs.

"Where do you think you're going, young lady?"

"Mom, I literally just graduated high school last night and I turn 18 next month. I'm basically an adult."

Her mom pulls her into a hug. Jamie lets it happen for a few seconds before escaping her grasp. Mrs. Mann runs her fingers through her daughter's hair trying to fix it best she can.

"Hmm... that will have to do. Now, truthfully, where are you going? Yeah, yeah, I know you're all grown up now, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop worrying about you."

Jamie rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless. "I'm staying over at August's. She's outside waiting for me, so can I go now?"

"Of course, dear. Have fun."

"Sure thing. Night, mom."

Jamie heads out the door and jogs to the midnight blue '67 Mustang idling in front of the driveway. She throws her backpack in the backseat before taking her spot in the passenger seat.

"So, what's the plan?"

"I was thinking we could go to that party Betty Davis is throwing."

A lump forms in Jamie's throat as she tries to come up with some excuse as to why they shouldn't go. August knows that Jamie is a lesbian, but she doesn't know anything about Betty. It was not something Betty wanted anyone to know about.

As far as anyone at school knew, Betty and Jamie were acquaintances at best. Betty was head cheerleader and Jamie was basically a skater burnout. Betty was class president and Jamie wasn't even on most of her teacher's radars. Betty was going to Yale next year. Jamie was going to a state school. Betty came from money. Jamie's mom worked two jobs to send her to private school. They weren’t exactly the likeliest of friends and no one would ever guess they were more than that.

"Come on, please? Don't you want to know what the popular kids get up to on the weekends?"

"Nah, it sounds pretty lame. I'd rather hang out just the two of us before you take your little road trip around the county, which I still can't believe your parents agreed to."

"You should come with me."

"What?"

"We would have so much fun. Besides I'm a little scared about driving around by myself."

Jamie scoffs, "You? Why, August Adams you are the bravest person I have ever known. What could possibly scare you?"

"I don't know... a car accident, rapists, serial killers, muggers, creatures..."

"Okay, I get it. I just mean... you've been planning this trip for two years. Wasn't it supposed to be some great big adventure of self-discovery?"

August shrugs. "I already know who I am. I'm a bisexual goddess, who is going to be the CEO of a major corporation someday, and no one can stop me. But also I'm just a girl sitting in front a girl, asking her to join me on the trip of a lifetime."

Jamie's heart skips a beat. She loves Betty so deeply, but being with her was torture. It would have been four more years of hiding. 'Just until we graduate college,’ Betty's words echo in her head. Four years is a long time and Jamie is sick of hiding. August came out Sophomore year and didn't care about what anyone thought of her.

"You know what, that sounds amazing."

August squeals and leans across the center console to wrap her arms around Jamie. "We're going to have so much fun, James!"

They never went to Betty’s party. Instead they drove to 7-Eleven, bought snacks and slurpees, and spent the rest of the night at the one skate park in town.

It took a bit of convincing before her mom felt comfortable letting her go on the five week trip. The fact that August had family sprinkled along their route, with whom they would be staying most of the time, helped to reassure her. August created an itinerary for Jamie's mom, so she would have an idea of where they would be and with whom.

A week into the trip, Jamie gets an unexpected text.

'I heard you left town with August Adams. Thanks for the heads up. Hope you have fun.'

The three dots show up and disappear, then reappear once again.

And finally, after almost a minute, 'I hear she's a great lay.'

Jamie doesn't even reply. Her blood boils just a bit. They'd never officially broken things off, but seeing Betty kiss that boy on the dance floor was the last straw. Jamie didn't want to hide anymore. She wanted a girlfriend who's hand she could hold while walking down the street.

So, she got one. Sort of. The text kind of sent her into overdrive and she may have decided to see if all the rumors about August were true. They were. She definitely knew what she was doing and it was nice, but it wasn't the same as it had been with Betty. It was lust. There was no romance in it. At least not on Jamie's part.

Unfortunately, she had no idea the other girl had wanted this since they were Freshmen. It killed Jamie to tell her the truth. August was beautiful and fun and clever, but Jamie's heart belonged to someone else. She confessed everything about her relationship with Betty and how she wished she had gone to that party the night after graduation.

August won't tell anyone. She might be hurt, but she wasn't heartless. She'd never out someone nor would she ever try to get back at Jamie. They did decide to give each other some space. In fact, they only met up once more that summer. It was the day before August was set to leave for school. They hugged awkwardly and promised to keep in touch and to hang out over Thanksgiving break. They didn't keep those promises.

Betty doesn't message her again. Jamie rides past the girl's house on her skateboard almost every day for a month before she finally gets the nerve to text her.

'Hey, I'm near your house. Can we talk?'

She sits on the curb across the street from Betty's house for an embarrassingly long amount of time before she finally gives up. She stops riding by her house.

It's not until her mom drags her to the mall insisting she needs a new wardrobe for college that she finally sees Betty again. She catches sights of the girl from the store across the way and she tells her mom she'll be right back. She's about to step into the store, but someone grabs her by the wrist and drags her towards an empty service hallway. Jamie's heart stutters until she realizes who exactly has a hold on her.

"What the hell, Inez?"

Inez roughly releases her grasps once they are out of the earshot of passersby.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Me?! What do you think you're doing."

Inez rolls her eyes. "Stay away from her, you freak!"

"What gives you the right to tell me what to do?"

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that Betty told me all about how you're desperately in love with her and tried to put the moves on her and that's why she had to switch homerooms. Which I said was weird because as far as I knew you were off playing Thelma and Louise with August Adams. So just, like, leave her alone. She's not... like you."

Jamie bites her tongue. There is so much she wants to say, but it would only make things worse. "Whatever. Maybe you should tell your friend not to flatter herself."

Occasionally, over the next few years, Jamie checks Betty's social media accounts, looking for any hint that one of the girls in her pictures were more than just a friend. Jamie thinks about the night after high school graduation often. She fantasizes about what would have happened if she had gone to Betty's party. Would the girl have finally kissed her in front of their classmates? Was she already drunk when she sent that message? Had she finally been ready to say 'fuck it all' and let everyone know she wasn't who they thought she was?

Jamie will probably never know. But she spends her college years chasing the feeling she had when she was with Betty. There were a couple of women who she thought she had been in love with. Maybe she had been, but there was always this one piece of her heart that hung on to past love.

She dates quite a bit the first couple of years after college, until she eventually gets into a committed relationship. It's great for a while. It lasts four and a half years. She's devastated when it ends. But also, a part of her is relieved. It doesn't really make sense until that next Thanksgiving weekend when her high school class is having its ten year reunion.

She contemplates not going, but she's already R.S.V.P.'d and she's already going to be in town to celebrate Thanksgiving with her family. So, she musters up the courage to go.

The first person she recognizes is August Adams. The other woman greets her with a tight hug.

"James! How are you? God, it's been too long."

"It has."

It really has. Jamie missed her friend. She screwed it all up so much back when they were kids. But the woman still had this brightness that radiated from her and Jamie let herself bask in it.

"Oh, you have to meet my wife," August wraps her arm around the waist of a gorgeous brunette, "This is Autumn. I know, I know. Don't even start."

Jamie chuckles, but keeps quiet. After catching up and seeing way too many pictures of August's kid (she was a proud mom and it was kind of cute, to be honest), Jamie was left alone when the other woman found another old friend to talk to. She didn't mind. It gave her a chance to finally get to the bar and get a drink.

Jamie orders a whiskey on the rocks.

"I'll take one of those too, please," a voice speaks from beside her.

Jamie turns her head and takes in the sight before her. Betty hasn't changed much. If anything, she's even more attractive than she was all those years ago.

"Hi."

"Uhh..." Jamie clears her throat, "Hey."

Betty bites her lower lip, a smirk forming on her face anyway. "You look..." Her eyes scan Jamie's body and Jamie shifts a bit under her gaze, "good."

"That's all." Jamie elbows her playfully. The bartender sets their drinks in front of them. Jamie lifts the glass to her mouth.

"Let me try that again. You look incredible in that suit, but all I can think about is what you'd look like out of it."

Jamie chokes on her drink, pounding her chest with her fist as she coughs. Betty quirks her eyebrows and smirks smugly, while Jamie tries to gain some sense of control over her own body again.

"Umm... wow, that... I wouldn't mind..."

"Are you here with anyone?"

"No. I'm actually single at the moment. You?"

Betty doesn't even bother to answer. Instead she kisses Jamie. It takes a moment for Jamie to register what is happening, but eventually she gets a hold of herself and reciprocates the kiss, matching the passion of the woman in front of her.

There are a couple of 'whoops' from former classmates and a 'Get it, Davis' before Betty pulls away.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

How could Jamie say no to that? After that kiss? After ten years of dreaming about this moment? She couldn't.

"Definitely."

'Out of here' isn't very far. It's actually a room at the hotel where the reunion was being hosted, but really it was better than Jamie could have ever dreamed.

As they lay together in the afterglow, Betty runs her fingers through Jamie's curly, golden locks. Jamie rests her head on Betty's chest, her fingers tracing random patterns across Betty's toned abs.

"You're still as fit as you were back then."

Betty buries her face in Jamie's hair. Jamie feels the laughter rumble through the other woman's chest at the comment. "Really? Those are your first words after everything?"

"I can't help it, when you look like this."

"You're not so bad yourself."

Jamie looks up at Betty incredulously, "I'm sexy as hell."

"Hmm... I mean, you're attractive, sure. 'Sexy as hell', may be a touch too far."

"Oh, yeah?" Jamie smiles up at her as she moves her hand down Betty's abdomen. "Let me show you a touch too far."

Being with Betty makes Jamie feel like she's 17 again. All the years away from the girl did nothing to quell her desire to be as close to her as humanly possible. Somehow it was like a part of Jamie's heart had finally found its place again. It was a part that she thought had long been lost and she had resigned herself to the fact that the puzzle would sit there in her chest missing that one piece forever.

Maybe she didn't know much back when they were kids, but she knew one thing that would always ring true: Betty Davis is, has always been, and will always be her person.

[ofmerrit]

*  ◜  kristine froseth  ,  cis  woman  &  she/her  ◞  *  according  to  school  records  ,  that’s  merrit  antonietta  unn  hornsby  walking  on  campus  grounds  with  their  usual  iced-americano  from  the ancient  grounds  cafe  .  they’re  known  for  their  long  ,  dark  blonde  locks  outshining  their  surprisingly  tall  figure   and  are  often  spotted  at   the  versailles  garden  reading  wild  geese  by  mary  oliver  .  almost  everyone  knows  their  family  is  worth  like  1.2  billion  dollars  ,  so  we  suspect  they’re  a  member  of   olympus   ,  you  know  ,  the  one  for  old   money  .  do  you  know  where  they  were  the  night  that  the  scholarship  student  died  ?  they  claim  they  were  touring  around  the  campus  for  inspiration  ,  must  be  an  architecture major  thing  ,  right  .  and  hey  ,  don’t  you  agree  that  the  sophomore  reminds  you  of  muffled  screams  into  silk  pillows  ,  the  bellyache  you  get  after  doing  something  wrong  &  vacant smiles ?  you  better  watch  out  h e s t i a  before  something  dangerous  happens  to  you  and  life  ends  at  twenty-two  .  *  ◜  barb  ,  twenty-two  ,  gmt +3  &  she / her  ◞  *

alright alright . it’s me , wrinkle free brain bar from gmt +3 !! so pumped to be here w you sexies mwah <3 here’s merrit’s pinterest board if you’re interested ( pls im a virgo n pinterest addict .. lemme make boards for our muses .. id d*e ! ) imma . bore u to de*th w this intro pls .. forgive me .. i only hav 2 brain cells , this is all over the place HDFJK rip </3 tw: kidnapping, death.

starting w the boring statistics :     full name: merrit antonietta ‘antonia’ unn hornsby     nicknames: mer, antonia, ant, tbc.     code name: hestia ; the goddess of hearth , the family , the state & the domesticity.      star sign: libra sun , virgo moon , scorpio rising.     sexuality: bisexual.     favourite literature piece: wild geese by mary oliver ,  an anthology .                                              “meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,                                              are heading home again.                                              whoever you are, no matter how lonely,                                              the world offers itself to your imagination,                                              calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting                                              over and over announcing your place                                              in the family of things.”

merrit is the only child of the young hornsby couple. she doesn’t remember much of her childhood, according to her grandma, she was the happiest kid. had everything she could ever ask for and more. 

the reason why merrit can’t remember any of this is the beginning of a tragedy — a stormy december night, she and her parents went missing. grandma says they were gone for over five months. a kidnapping case gone cold, they thought. right when the old couple was giving up on them, an angel from above delivered antonia to their door step. malnourished, void of any memory but alive.

life after losing her parents was easier than expected, grandma hornsby ( nee du pont ) made sure merrit would recover from this without any trauma & in a way, she did.

doesn’t have the best relationship with her grandpa, he’s harsh and cranky and too smart for his own good, merrit is lowkey afraid of him lmfao 

she’s currently studying architecture — her dream major was interior design but grandpa encouraged her to pursue architecture to follow her father’s footsteps.  kinda made sense because she’s fascinated by houses .. in reality the insides, the families living there are the real source of interest for her but she’s happy to settle for outside for now gshdjkf

personality stuff !!!

uMM.... i’d say she’s lowkey a people pleaser sdhjkf like ?? making her grandparents proud is . literally the only thing she’s ever wanted in this world n now she feels the same responsibility for every single soul in her life . a torturous existence if you ask me 

can’t say no <3  if she thinks its gonna make u feel a tiny bit better . boom . she’s in .

the friend you’d call to bury a body . no questions asked . she’s pickin up the shovel as you speak asdghfjk unless it’s between her grandparents n you, then *michael scott vc* how the turntables.... sdhjfk shes rattin u out instantly rip

LOVES to talk n listen . fills her heart with joy . a blabbermouth . 

an overachiever . doesn’t sleep much, rocks the dark circles 7/24 lmfao works bc doesn’t like the idea of .. wasting life if that makes sense ??

loyal 2 a fault. mostly to olympus. wld do anything to stay in the secret society / establish her place .

extremely gentle n caring . sometimes ?? its just . too much sdjkf like. tone it down <3

likes poetry ,, especially mary oliver n louise glück ! her fav poem is the orange by wendy cope.

i imagine her wearing flowy, tulle dresses with floral embroidery or vintage pieces idk 

has shit ton of plants but struggles to keep them alive rip

!!! im . terrible at explaining her fr i hate it here ok i hav a vision but ??? i cant explain it

safe 2 say shes having difficulty deciding who she’s supposed to be . a part of her wants to be the golden child for her grandparents n the other side .. jst wants to live her life y’know ??? 

UPDATE ! i’ve realised that by hiding her secret, i also unintentionally hid a big portion of her personality and she comes across as the typical, soft & gentle soul. don’t get me wrong, she is indeed gentle and soft but she’s also volatile and deceitful !

connection ideas !!!

childhood friends - except she doesn’t remember any of it. maybe your muse thinks she’s changed. maybe they don’t care. maybe they are no longer friends . idk 

penpals - seriously ???  i imagine her as someone who writes letters jst bc they’re nostalgic n cute ??? cld be fun.

a home - i kno home’s not a person but a feeling but tell that to merrit lmao. this person’s probably the only one in the whole damn world she’d choose over her grandparents. platonic or romantic, doesn’t matter.

betrothed - super old school yikes. nt exactly betrothed either .. maybe her grandma thot it’d be better if these two were in a relationship . maybe they remained as friends . maybe they hated each other . maybe they kept the publicity stunt ( cue 2 merrit begging to keep faking the rel so her grandpa wld be happy )

exes - a classic. ts this is me trying vibes . on good or bad terms . lingering feelings ? yes please .

bad + good influence - again, classic sdhjfk

saw u at the garden but cldn’t say hi bc i’m a dumb binch - basically someone she has a minor, unrequited crush on. probably knows this person through her other friends but she’s too damn timid to take the first step

a friend from labyrinth . ok hear me out . this is a big deal for her bc she’s all in for her society n v opposed to the idea of a second one even existing . wouldn’t say shes openly mean or .. rude to labyrinth members but ?? jst . wants to protect her own , so this would be a v secret friendship .

a project - could say she has some sort of a savior complex . wants to ‘fix’ people up .. toxic much, mer? <3 anyway ashdjk maybe she thinks .. she can change your muse ? i truly dont know. 

ok final one . its juicy . someone who’s suspicious of her . she has a secret n for the obv reason i didn’t talk abt it, your muse’s suspicious n it’s just . hashtag awkward

these r the only connection ideas i have rn my brain said get tht fire exit door im off im so sorry forgive moi bUT im a sucker for angst : ) so theres that 

something inspired by my queen n savior phoebe bridgers or . folklore ?? yeah.

give me noora / william vibes . the ex friends . the dan / blair dynamic . i live for them ok sgdhfjkl

[ohpoeisyou]

Pressure Point Chapter 01 MycroftXdaughter

Mycroft was in his private office when he took the call. It was from a blocked number, which wasn’t completely unusual in his line of work. What was unusual was the voice on the other end. American male, aged 18-24, stressed… really stressed, and crying. “I need to speak to Mr. Mycroft Holmes right away.” the man practically sobbed. Mycroft took an annoyed breath, “speaking” he said as he leaned back in his chair moving his eyes lazily to the ceiling. Don’t I have secretaries for this kind of thing, he thought to himself. “Sir, they are going to kill her, she can’t take much more of this, she’s going to die.” Still staring at the ceiling, “I think you may have the wrong Holmes, can I give you his number?” “NO, forgive me sir, but you don’t understand, It’s Katie, they keep running these tests on her and they are going to kill her.” Mycroft froze. “Who?” he asked even though he saw her face clear as day. The man on the other side of the phone dropped his head and sighed, Mycroft could hear the side of his face rub the receiver. The disappointment and regret were clear in his voice, “You know she said she was worse than dead to you –that she never existed, said you wouldn’t save her if she was poisoned and you had the antidote in your palm. I didn’t believe her, I’ve heard of your reputation of course even all the way over here.” Mycroft closed his eyes, a look of pain resting on his usual bored face, “I asked you a question, who is Katie” Mycroft braced for what he knew was coming. “Kathleen Louise Holmes, Iceman, your daughter.”

It was a relatively quiet morning in 221B, quiet for Sherlock anyway. It has been 8 months since his harrowing experience with his sister and her final problem. John is in the process of moving back in, with Rosie of course. Sherlock had been asking, near to begging for months. The flat was too quiet without him, and he had only successfully won John over by moving his makeshift lab out of the kitchen and to the room downstairs and cleaning and baby-proofing the rest of the flat. “I don’t know Sherlock, she’s still just a baby, she makes a mess and a lot of noise, I don’t know how you will feel about this when we are all up at 3am with her screaming bloody murder, there’s no off switch you know.” John had the blonde-headed toddler on his hip walking around the clean flat. “All the more reason for you to not do it yourself,” Sherlock said from the doorframe. Hearing a quiet giggle Sherlock shook the memory of the conversation from his head and focused his eyes on the source of the noise. Sitting on the carpet in front of him was the baby without an off switch. Not that she was much of a baby anymore. Rosie smiled at Sherlock, happy to have gained his attention and crawled toward him, babbling she reached a chubby little hand towards his leg and pulled herself to her knees in front of his chair. Gripping onto a pant leg she grunted and squinted her eyebrows together looking oh so much like her father until she managed to pull herself to her feet. “Well, hello there little one. When did you learn how to do that?” He smiled at the child standing between his knees. Sherlock was on babysitting duty while John packed the home. John had only agreed to move back in if Sherlock consented to watch her while he went through the house and sorted what to keep and what to get rid of. Sherlock felt like it was a test to see if he could handle being around a baby for extended periods of time. Normally he would have nothing to do with this, but this wasn’t any baby, this was Rosie. She smiled again and reached both hands towards Sherlock, grunting, and opening and closing her fist. Sherlock snickered and reached down, lifting the toddler into his lap and rubbing her back gently. She settled into the crook of his chest, he moved his hand to brush the blonde curls out of her eyes. “What do you want to do today, hmm? Surely there is some trouble that we can get into while daddy is gone.” She squirmed on his lap pushing against his chest until she was far enough back to be eye to eye. Sherlock couldn’t help but admire the beautiful child in front of him. Had you told him a year ago that he would be in his flat with a giggling toddler in his lap and there was not a gun at his head he would have probably insulted you in a varying number of ways and had Myrcroft ruin your credit score. But here he was watching the light from the window dance across her cheeks and rest in her eyelashes, he knew that there was not anything he wouldn’t do for her. Sherlock was a fairly protective man when it came to his friends and family, though he didn’t really know that until John came into his life. But this was different. This wasn’t ‘hurt my friend and I will hurt you’ love, this was ‘hurt her and I will set the world on fire’ love. Sherlock had never felt anything like it and wasn’t sure he would ever feel it again. “Well, Watson?” he bounced his legs slightly, “what do we want to do today?” She giggled, pulling her fingers from her mouth, and threw her body into his chest with a surprising amount of force for such a little thing, hugging her arms around his neck. Rosie was a very affectionate child to those she was comfortable with. She seemed to have a new level of affection when Sherlock was around though. It was much to everyone’s amusement that the one person who didn’t want to be touched was wrapped around the finger of a baby that was happiest when reaching or clinging to him. “Take her to the park, Sherlock!” Mrs. Hudson’s voice traveled up the stairs and over the baby gate. “It’s a beautiful day and both of you could use some fresh air.” Sherlock thought about it a moment, coming up with nothing better. He stood up, scooping Rosie up with him and walked to John’s room to fetch her shoes. “Park it is Watson!” Passing Mrs. Hudson in the hall she gave Rosie a kiss on the cheek and Sherlock a pat on the arm. “The best thing you did was convince him to move back home you know, even Rosie has been in higher spirits.” Sherlock smiled and shifted her in his arms. “I’m happy they are here too.” Stepping out of the door and turning towards the park that was only a few mins away Sherlock took a deep breath and felt his muscles relax slightly in the warmth of the sun on his shoulders. A sunny summer day in London was to be treasured indeed.

John sighed as he opened their closet… his closet. Running a hand over his tired face he mentally contemplated putting this off another day. He had been productive today, sorted the Kitchen and the Den called the local donation center and arranged for the items and furniture he no longer had a use for to be picked up the following afternoon, but those rooms had been shared spaces –not as intimate, not only hers. I’ll just grab mine, take it back to the flat and sort the rest tomorrow he decided. He knew he would regret not doing it when he laid down tonight but he couldn’t force himself to do it. Not right now. Grabbing an armful of his hanging clothes he stuffed them, hanger and all, into the box on the mattress. He had just grabbed the last armful when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Folding the flaps of the box in he reached for his phone, it was a text from Mrs. Hudson. Swiping the message open he saw she had sent him a picture of Sherlock and Rosie. They were in the hall, Rosie in his arms and holding onto his shoulder, her head was thrown back in laughter and a warm smile on Sherlock’s face. John couldn’t help but grin at the sight. Who would have known that the great Sherlock Holmes would have gone soft for a child? Just when he was about to put the phone back in his pocket another msg popped up under the photo. “I suggested they go to the park and enjoy this weather, you’ll find them there if you were coming back anytime soon.” John moved his eyes back to the picture. Happiness. He could see it shining in both of their eyes. He couldn’t find himself to join, not today, not surrounded by his dead wife’s things. He typed a quick reply “I would hate to ruin their fun. I’ll check in later.” Send. Tossing his phone to the empty dresser top next to him he bent to the bottom of the closet to start grabbing his shoes. Mycroft rolled down the window of the car as Sherlock and the Watson child approached the sidewalk to cross to the park on the other side of the car. “Get in Sherlock.” He watched his brother roll his eyes. “Go away, I am busy.” He moved past the car. Mycroft sighed, opening the door and stepping out. “This is important, brother mine, we need to talk.” Mycroft didn’t have to see Sherlock’s face to know he rolled his eyes again. “I implore you to look up the difference between need and want, Mycroft.” walking towards the entrance of the park. “Sherlock please.” the slight wobble in Mycroft’s voice forced Sherlock to a halt and with a sigh, he turned on his heel. “Fine, but Rosie wants to swing so you’ll have to talk there.” Mycroft shut the door of the car and walked toward the pair “Then swing she shall.” Sherlock carefully put the child in the baby swing and snapped the belt around her waist. Her chunky legs stuck out the bottom and she kicked her feet in excitement. Mycroft observed the gentle smile that crossed his brother’s face as he talked to the cooing baby. How much he had changed in the last year. How much a child changes things. He couldn’t help but feel the irony of the situation. He was about to tell his brother of the child he abandoned in front of the child his brother had adopted. Sherlock cleared his throat. “Well, whatever it is, it has you more raddled than Eurus did, so spit it out. Might as well get it over with”, he gave the Watson child a small push. Mycroft adjusted his grip on his cane and locked eyes with his brother. “Her name is Kathleen.”

[keyofjetwolf]

GIFTENING Bonus Rounds

For each category, I included a “bonus round” question. YOU GUYS KILLED IT. I loved all the answers, but listed below are some of my particular favourites.

Haruka Tenoh is trapped in the wrong anime! Which would you have her visit next?

I want her to earth shake Kyubey out of existence, please and thank you

My bride is a mermaid. She can relate. :P

i think she would THRIVE in bodacious space pirates. gay teenage space pirates whose job is to dress up, be Dramatic, and rob the wealthy??? that shit is RIGHT up her alley

Hamtaro

Princess Tutu - where the world is finally as dramatic as her

PGSM (and Michiru is trapped with her, for REASONS)

Pokemon because everyone deserves to be happy

Any moe-style series so hijinks can ensue at her being baffled by everyone's ages

1960's Speed Racer

is is this a captcha or something i missed oh god

Free! so she can be indifferent to all the hot men and slightly uncomfortable because she still can't swim. 

Stick Haruka in a Gundam!

Dump her in Pretear or one of the Precures! It would be hilarious! She's never in the genre she wants to be!

Revolutionary Girl Utena, so she can be offended by misuse of roses.

Initial D, she will out-drive and out-drift all those guys and steal all their girls.

Evangelion. I would feel bad to watch her suffer, but it would be so, so funny for her to be the comparatively most normal person around.

Yakitake Japan! SO SHE CAN HAVE A SNACK OF DELICIOUS RIDICULOUS BREAD BEFORE THE NEXT INTERDIMENSIONAL ANIME STORM WHISKS HER AWAY.

The Holograms or the Misfits? DISCUSS

Holograms

both? both. BOTH IS GOOD

misfits bc Evil Ladies Hot

Steven and the stevens

Misfits.  How dare you make us try to think about anything in our lives.

Both, you mad fool. Those combined songs were the best.

The Misfits, their songs are better

The Misgrams: A group of girls who form a singing telegram start up company, but constantly deliver the telegrams to the wrong people.

kimber & stormer

Neither. Limp Lizards all the way. BROKEN GLASS.

I do not know what these things are

Misfits because guitar motorcycle

The Isle of Misfit Holograms

Holograms is just arguably better

I mean, I’m told the Misfits’ songs are better, but my true answer is the band Kimber and Stormer made in that big gay episode you liveblogged (checks) almost four years ago.

I've no idea what these words mean and I hope this does not make me TOO uncool.

this is about jem, right? right?? im hip i swear

Misfits, because Jasper is a member apparently

I don't know from Jem, but I mean...I certainly prefer holographic material to Glenn Danzig? So I guess there's your answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Stingers

LIMP LIZARDS FOREVER

Senshi Band

You can make me liveblog a full series of any show you want! You also hate me. What do you have me watch?

Pick a GoT rip-off, any GoT rip-off

The Bachelor?

The Bachelor :(

depends on how much i hate you, but....probably the bachelor. quantity AND lack of quality

Critical role, it would take forever

If I were a horrible person who sought only malice?  Big Bang Theory.  Entire series.

Toddlers and Tiaras

The Mandalorian - Disney would come after you and kill keyofjetwolf just as dead as keyofnik.  We would all be very sad, you would have to go through a second round of restoring things to a new tumblr account, and your organizational heart would weep over adding yet another hosting site out of chronological order.

You are liveblogging Eva, and must discuss in full detail Shinji's emotional state at all times.

Hannity & Colmes

The Kardashians. And all of their spin offs. *kisses*

The price is right

the bachelor

Probably something with lots of romance and no friendships. Soap operas are like that, right? My college roommate used to watch General Young Light Restless Hospital of Our Lives (which one had Like and Laura?) And it was torture.

One Piece, because it's over 900 episodes so you could maybe do 10% before you die, also you will hate how the women are treated most of the time.

Fushigi Yuugi. Not only do you hate it but it also comes with you squirming when you admit to watching the whole thing. ;) 

Plus belle la vie. It's an ongoing French soap opera that has been airing five days a week since 2004, they're nearing their 4000th episode and there's no end in sight. Imagine all those hours upon hours submerged in French drama, mwahahaha!!

The Bachelor.  Or the Bachelorette, maybe - more straight dudes in that.

The Young and the Restless - IT IS THE LIVEBLOG THAT NEVER ENDS. IT WOULD OUTLAST THE INTERNET.

The entirety of the Bachelor franchise.

You can only play one game for the rest of your life. Which game would it be and why?

Kingdom Hearts Complete Collection. A) I love them. B) I beat the system and get like 10 games instead of one.

Gemcraft. This game actually takes a lifetime to finish.

Hatoful Boyfriend. It is the best game ever created. Feel it in your heart.

that's a mean question and you can't make me answer it

Pathfinder, which you could play for the rest of your life and still never finish.

Civ VI , so I can rule the world without leaving my house.

I am legitimately perturbed by this question and refuse to answer it.

Pokemon Go. I would have nothing else, but I would catch them all.

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim: I'll never run out of side-quests.

Mass Effect--it's the only way I'll get full completion. 

The dinosaur game on Chrome when the internet doesn't connect because my life is monotonous and it's a welcome relief. 

Stardew Valley. Peaceful farmer life and turning my children into doves when I'm bored with them.

Crabs Adjust Humidity

Oh my! A number of things come to mind, not one of them fit for print. Just, you know...*gestures vaguely* sex shit. 

I can't even stick to the ones I play now.

This is the worst of all possible things and I refuse to answer. 

Monopoly, I hate myself :(

Probably Minecraft! I haven't gotten into it because I know if I start I will NEVER STOP. Who would do things like build a hundred foot tall statue of Mako-chan? A-THAT'D BE ME.

the game. Of LIFE! *shrug emoji*

I don't believe I'll tell you, because I AM a salty little fish and it was HARD to cut that 11th choice off my vote.

Holligay and I are going to be the leads in a new buddy film. What's the premise? How does it end?

Be gay do crimes. Thelma and Louise. Duh. :P

I have no idea but only just surviving disaster is how it ends.

You break down in a small town during a roadtrip- your stay is full of hijinks and ends with you teaching the townsfolk the true meaning of friendship.

Doctor Holligay, Esquire, PhD, renowned Jewish femme of many talents, is assigned one Operative Jet Wolf as her bodyguard on a foreign diplomatic mission/vacation/culinary tour of the world ("same difference, shut up, narrator"). One problem: Operative Wolf needs a bodyguard herself, as the good doctor discovers when in one night her toilet is destroyed ("IT WAS A SECURITY THREAT") and Operative Wolf nearly breaks a leg falling down a small set of stairs ("THEY PUT A CLIFF OUTSIDE THE DOOR"). Worldwide shenanigans ensue as Holligay and Operative Wolf learn the true meaning of friendship, and also how to take care of themselves... by taking care of each other.

I’m not sure about the premise, but DEFINITELY it ends in murder.

Someone posted a major spoiler during one of your liveblogs. The two of you track them down seeking revenge. It turns out it was the original creator of the series trying to stop you. For some reason Holligay is a CGI badger.

It's clearly a buddy cop movie, and like all good buddy cop movies, it ends with Doc almost dying, and you saving her, and slapping her wound in the hospital as the credits roll.

It ends as it began: with Holligay roasting you.

A straight detective and her lesbian partner have to solve the case of the missing cinnamon buns.  It ends with nobody getting the guy OR the girl and you drive off into the sunset together, perps behind bars sans cinnamon buns.

I don't know what it's about but I know it will be the only movie that ever existed. 

Holligay is the lesbian chief of staff to you somehow being elected President and she's basically running the country while you're the charming face of the administration

Nerd and cowgirl meet at a bar, justifyingly murder some gross dude, go on the run from the law and have a life-changing road trip, on the way Nazis are punched

carrying a delicate object through a forest after your helicopter goes down

Thelma and Louise, but instead of dying, your deaths are clearly faked and you live on a ranch in Montana with your respective spouses and animals. One time a cop comes by the restaurant/bar you joint own with Doc and says, "You look familiar." Doc, in perfect lesbian, answers, "Jet's just got that criminal look, on account of how much she'd love to steal my cheesecake recipe. More pie?"

Queer Eye with a Straight Goy. The two of you do the show but in your own special ways.

Doc Holligay is the wild-west no-nonsense sheriff. Jet Wolf is the all-fun cyberpunk cop from the future. They punch nazis and argue about food. It ends as a tv series ala B99.

Your lives are already a buddy film, don’t get greedy.

Hands and socks.  You know how it ends.

See Grumpy Old Men for details.  How does it end?  Badly.

I can't imagine the premise, but I'm pretty sure the planet explodes.

A Coen Bros film. It ends poorly.

Wait? You're not already living this now? 

REI HINO

REI HINO

Sure. Why not?

HINO REI

<3<3<3<3

REI HINO!

Rei who? ;)

REI HINOOOOOOOOO

Plush Is being hugged by Zoisite in your banner.

MINAKO AINO

MAKOTO KINO

The best

SOCKS

MICHIRU KAIOH

It's time tooo.... REI! THAT! HINO!

sponsored by Here! curry

LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI [THIS REPEATS A LOT A LOT AND IS GLORIOUS] [...] LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES JETWOLF

(THE REAL ONE)

Isn't how you spell Makoto Kino!

THE REAL ONE™

obviously

IS NOT A RHINO

In conclusion: Rei Hino

Rei Hino is giving this Giftening finger guns

BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, SHOW-STOPPING, TALENTED, AMAZING, WONDERFUL

Hot stuff, lights my fire, blazes it regularly. I am out of fire jokes.

PASSION FLAME, SAILOR MARS

These hot feelings are C'EEEEEST LAAAAA VIIIIIIE c'mon rei-chan why aren't you singing along

IS THE BEST (I know who I'm talking to)

Ara!

DID DOCTOR HOLLIGAY PHD NOMINATE THE OPTION OF TALKING ABOUT MICHIRU KAIOH FOR 6 HOURS!!

If Hot Pocket were to plan One Last Heist, what do you think would be his objective? What would be Mina's role in his master plan?

Master Hot Pocket seeks BREAD. His friend and loyal companion, Mina-pup, acts as a distraction, as he has learned the humans are easily distracted by cute. While she does her sworn duty as Best Friend and Cutest Goodest Girl, probably with lolling tongue and glee at all the pets she receives, he picks the locks on the newly childproofed pantry, and Master Howard H. Pocket FEASTS AS NO CAT HAS BEFORE.

Every bag of flour in Montana; Mina runs distraction with her adorable puppy eyes

Open every container, leave none unmarked. Mina is the lookout who greets whoever comes and is completely ineffective at her job.

TAKE ALL THE FLOUR. Do it straight from the source: FlourCo Inc. What does a 10-pound cat do with eighty thousand tons of flour? If you can't figure that out, there's a reason he's the brains of this outfit. Mina would obviously be the bumbling lovable distraction to security or other people.

Bread.  Mina is The Face who provides distraction to the Keepers of the Bread by walking up to them and being herself.  Mina has absolutely no idea that Hot Pocket is using her in this manner because Hot Pocket is that Machiavellian, but Mina is a pocket full of sunshine in canine form and probably would just be happy to help out.

Hot Pocket knows that no mammal of the floor believes in flour anymore. It went away a long time ago. It doesn't exist. But what he also knows is that they're wrong. A lack of opposable thumbs won't hide the truth from him. He'll find the stash, and when he does, he'll stick his paw in it. Mina, with her limited climbing skills, will lick its remains from his claw and prove his discovery. As well as provide a warm place to curl up on for the aftermath of their adventure.

His goal is to sample every edible thing he can get his teeth on. Mina pulls triple duty as step stool, distraction, and scape goat

The Silver Crystal. Mina would play the role of Sailor V.

He is getting ALL THE FLOUR. Mina is a lovable distraction.

Looting all the carbs in the pantry. mina is distraction.

mina's role would be the "dopey" but talented best friend who it looks like HP is going to betray for the sake of the plan but then it all comes together when HP mounts a dramatic rescue. i dunno i'm still in film mode from that last one.

The Holy Bread Locked Within the Cupboard.  Mina would be the distraction, but she'd forget what she was supposed to be distracting from and end up leading you to him.

I am the Void. I am the Night. I am the Darkness with no hope of dawn. The Flour trembles before me in it's bleached fluffiness. It shall not escape my chaos, which will descend upon it like the Terrors of the Deep, claws and teeth and gnashing. It will howl at my claws. It will scream for my teeth, sharp and white, stars in the night of my fur. I shall tend and tear and -- Dammit, Dog-thing! How am I supposed to be terrible and terrifying with you wagging your tail and panting at me!? Oh, you found a good warm sunbeam? I guess I can stalk stuff later. I am the Void. I shall absorb the Sun's light and warmth and bring it into my Darkness where it cannot escape...

I'm new here and don't know all the complex lore of Jetwolf(fairly sure Mina is dog), so I'm going to assume that Hot Pocket is an actual hot pocket and his heist is robbing Fort Knox using Mina as his loyal stead/get away car. Then he explodes a microwave or something.

i lik the bred

Mina as the distraction while he takes one last tastes of EVERYTHING 

objective--stealing more chips; Mina--surprise betrayal 

The scene: Mama Jet's pantry The Objective: the bag of cake flour Aunt Doc made Mama Jet buy but she's never used Mina: confused but excited escape vehicle and/or scapegoat

RAIDING THE KING ARTHUR FLOUR FACTORY. Mina is of course adorable and keeps everyone's attention while Hot Pocket swan dives into the flour like Uncle Scrooge

Hot Pocket would definitely try to steal a monument, Carmen SanDiego style. Mina, of course, is the multi-talented and super cute face of the operation.

I have no idea who Hot Pocket is

HP would try to scale the tallest building in the world. Not to steal anything, just to be up there. Mina would be the adorable diversion.

It would be to get whatever food you've left on the counter. Preferably bread. He would tell Mina that he'll give her some of she acts as a distraction. She's a good dog so she does. He's a cat so she gets no food.

Truly, truly, THE GIFTENING winner is us all.

[existentialburden]

all!! please talk about your ocs!!!!

:OOOO I WOULD GIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU.... (for real thank you I’m super out of it rn, assignments have me fucked up) this is goin under a read more because I am going to go OFF

who’s friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

okay so with my ocs let’s start with C9 in general! the entire session has a sort of tense vibe with everyone together but it’s the type where they all know if they need to they can rely on each other. it’s just the situation making them all volatile.

for squads Aila has her moirail squad with two of my pal’s ocs, Lyla and Kodi, and it’s just all comfort there. Lyla and Kodi make sure that Aila doesn’t go off and fume by herself when she’s pissed off, Kodi and Aila make sure Lyla’s not just staying in the depression hive that is her room, and Lyla and Aila make sure Kodi doesn’t hide away and sew for hours when he gets upset. it’s mostly a “get the fuck over here and socialize instead of dwelling on every bad thought” crew but sometimes it’s just about sitting in the same room as someone else. and sending memes to each other. she also considers Dukkel a friend, but that vibe is more of a “Dukkel is manipulative and Aila is too volatile to be effectively manipulated” sorta deal. they hang out though and genuinely enjoy each other’s company so I’m counting it. she’s also pals with Joel (not mine)- she does think she has a crush on him? but she’s always real unsure of these things. either way she likes being around him and he likes being around her. that vibe is “awkward but in a cute dorky way”. also friends with Hurlii (also not mine) but they’re... dating?? hate-dating??? they both refuse to pin that down but they sit under the stars and vent a little bit to each other and get out their emotions and it’s cute. I’ve written about them cuddling before it’s adorable. her and Louise swap memes sometimes so y’know what that’s a friendship too. and she talks to a group of horrorterrors who gossip about her sessionmates with her. Aila has a lot of connections because she’s the Session Leader and also she’s tiny so everyone goes “:O a baby....”. sort of the same way you let your little sibling hang out with you and your pals because they get so excited about it.

Hope is friends with a DIFFERENT pal’s oc, Kori. their vibe is also comfort and chillin. Kori reassures Hope that no, not being able to talk to people is not bad and people don’t hate you. Hope listens when Kori talks about timeline stuff and helps her take precautions to soothe her anxiety. they’re also the alchemiter squad figuring out how to make new objects all the time. they stick real close. Hope’s also pals with Kodi! Kodi actually mediates between her and Aila. Hope can cut loose a little around Kodi and ends up with a surprisingly carefree attitude around him. things are a LITTLE awkward between them but they’re buds. Kodi keeps her in check. (Hope’s also friends with Lyla, kind of? they’re hate-dating but they are so soft for each other.) she used to go play poker with some SBURB constructs but :( no more.

Fantra is moirails with Panda (just assume if they don’t end up with their own list they’re a pal’s oc okay) and they vibe. there’s a little more flirting than necessary in their friendship and they DEFINITELY cuddle. they’re actually really adorable. again, I don’t know if dating counts, but Fantra’s dating Lyla and they’re cute but still sort of figuring things out. Fantra gives Lyla all the attention she asks for and it’s adorable.

Dukkel is sort of friends with Aila but I already talked about that. she doesn’t have a lot of friends other than Ails, actually. it’s. kind of sad? but he doesn’t really go out of his way to befriend people. she has more connections, just not... positive ones.

NOT ALL OF THE ALPHAS ARE FLESHED OUT SO I SWEAR THEY HAVE MORE CONNECTIONS BUT

Mell is pals with Dott and they’re fucking chaotic. I adore them but oh jeez. Mell’s the Responsible One and she’s not responsible at all she just used to pick Dott up from parties and then hold her hostage to help redesign furbies. they’re great. actually, the entire alpha session is great because they’re all in a D&D group. Mell sometimes chats with Cole and thinks he’s alright but also a huge NERD and jokingly makes fun of him for it. Cole doesn’t mind because he is, in fact, a massive nerd. (also Mell ends up dating Lyla it’s a whole thing don’t worry about it they’re adorable)

outside of her session she’s friends with Orca in a sort of “hey this kid needs more friends. now they’re the designated little sibling of the squad” way. she teaches them cool new horrific crafts. Mell just can’t let them sit there when their two friends are busy smh come join in craft time and also here’s how to play D&D. it’s real nice!

Cole is dating Peri! they co-DM in oneshots and he fleshes out NPCs while she worldbuilds and it’s adorable. they’re soft and sweet and cuties. also chats with Mell as I said before!

ALTS: the session as a whole is messy. everything runs fine but it’s less a team and more a bunch of people forced to work together. they’re pretty good at doing things they don’t want to do, though, so gg.

Enny’s friends with Juli. Juli calls her out on her bullshit and Enny holds Juli accountable for her own messes. they’re more functional than they look. Enny is also friends with Kods (not Kodi. alt Kodi.) and they consider themselves siblings even if the specifics are a lil wild. they threaten each other but they don’t usually mean it. they care about each other. also they shared a creepypasta phase that tbh Enny never got over. she’s also kind of pals with Jess but in a “thank you for helping me keep these guys in check. in return I will not swear at you” kinda way and just. mutual understanding of being stubborn when it comes to working at things. 

outside of just the alt C9 crew (and delving into SPACE PIRATE TERRITORY): Enny’s also pals with Cece (yet another pal’s OC! the only pal mentioned that technically doesn’t work on the Official C9 Stuff but whatever I love him so much. all of the ones mentioned “outside their session″ are his <3!!!!) even though they stopped hanging out as much. Cece taught her how to paint and have a decent hobby and Enny appreciates it every day. their friendship is dear to my heart. makes me feel nice. Enny is friends with Tate too! they roomed together on the spaceship and even though they aren’t too talkative with each other sometimes that isn’t necessary. also kinda pals with Jody? they don’t hang out too much but Enny secretly thinks she’s a friend. they’re the short Light player squad. too curious for their own good. it got kinda hard for them to talk to each other in person because of an incident but Enny still thinks she’s cool and nice. and there’s Echo! Echo’s her friend and therapist who taught her how to talk about her feeeeelings. which is VERY important. everyone say thank you Echo. Enny enjoys his company and y’know it’s sometimes (SOMETIMES) nice to be totally open. hard but nice. well. it’s complicated. but thank you Echo. .....ENNY IS ALSO PALS WITH [REDACTED]. in “canon” right now they’re “rivals to acquaintances” but they have pet names for each other so what is the truth. they’re very cryptic and trade information but that means Enny’s actually very honest with him so they’re. adorable. they care a lot about each other and try to help each other when they need it. it’s so cute. I’m soft for them. they’ve always had a certain level of respect for each other and I VIBE WITH THAT. love me some respect and comfort in this house. also they totally cuddle.

Deuuuux is friends with Juli. Juli may be blunt and harsh in her humor but Deux vibes with it. she knows she’s just being snarky for the sake of being snarky. they hang out and it’s all very cool and fun. also pals with Kods, but that’s a LITTLE more strained. they still hang from time to time but it’s hard for Deux to tell when he needs his space. also hate-dating Jess but no, actually, they end up being like “wait this is stupid I don’t think I actually hate anything about you. which makes this just dating. ...heck yeah.” Jess keeps tabs on Deux’s volatile mental state and Deux makes sure SHE’S doing okay. like hey take a break. you deserve good things too.

outside of the alt C9 crew Deux is close with Wynn! they have a more sibling bond than anything else. found family. added onto this because Deux actually has a real squad, holy shit, is Echo! Deux is the Official Captain, Wynn made the spaceship they’re on, and Echo is the ship advisor. Deux goes to them when she wants a second opinion on things, which is a lot of the time. Echo is constantly side-eyeing Deux’s depression. it’s hilarious and I love them A LOT. SO MUCH. Deux and Wynn are also the ship chefs, though Wynn more so than Deux. I choose to believe they work on recipes together but that’s just me. Deux is also friends with [REDACTED 2], even if it was shaky at first. they bond over their annoyance at [REDACTED]- and they both get the feeling of being overworked and then looking over at other people goofing off. like damn, a little help here please? they’re so tired. Deux is so tired. someone give her a break.

West! is not C9, technically, but they’re still mine so :P. West is best friends with Fern and they game together. they like to try and fuck up games with West posing hypothetical glitches and Fern pulling them off. also they just hang out and it’s all fun times with them. West is also kinda pals with Alex- sometimes they hang and Alex gave West his old glasses for them to pop out the lenses and wear so that was cool of him. they just vibe and Alex thinks it’s nice that West appreciates their humor.

outside of their session they’re friends with Ulfort and Hazel! they’re a squad. Ulfort is the Responsible One, Hazel is the Bad Influence, and West is the Impressionable Chaos Enabler. I love them all. they goof and have a good time but also worry about each other and that’s real sweet. also Enny and [REDACTED] but in a parental figure sort of way so I’m only including it here and not in Enny’s- also because it’s only in certain aus. also only in certain aus is their friendship with Orca. they bond over similar excitable traits and they started out a little rocky but they’re friends!

Hazeee is also best buds with Fern! sure Haze is crushing on Fern but that doesn’t mean they aren’t pals. they support each other emotionally and also they’re totally both furries. like Fern COULD show her fursona to West and they’d support her but it’s not their interest so they don’t really know how they’re supposed to react so Fern and Haze get the fun of a mutual interest. Haze is also pals with June- xe’s Haze’s right-hand. June helps advise Haze and proposes new ideas and also teases Haze for crushing on Fern. it’s all in good fun though.

Fern is just pals with West and Haze and they’re both her best friends. no she will not rank them. she shouldn’t have to.

outside of her session sheeee’s totally in love with Ulfort and Rita. interacting with Ulfort she’s likes to try and make him flustered a lil bit. with Rita she’s much more shy about it. it’s so cute. she thinks they’re both very very pretty. this is still only in certain aus because otherwise they don’t interact... ...unless? hmu my boyyyyy show me the canon we could have had/can have [eyes emoji]

June is best friends with Alex. they thrive off their differences but June enjoys getting to just have FUN with Alex and Alex loves having support from June. they hang ALL THE TIME. they support each other and tease each other and make sure they know where the lines are. June’s also pals with Haze as mentioned above!

outside of xir sesh June’s pals/something else ;) with Orca. but like. only in certain aus. they’re. how do I describe this without getting into the aus. uh. they’re cute as hell okay? Orca spoils June and June lightly teases Orca and they’re adorable. they care about each other so so much.

Alex is besties with June and pals with West. yes he plays favorites :P.

Theo and Fate are best friends and found-family twins and they’re chaotic as a duo. Fate describes emotions to Theo and Theo describes colors to Fate and that’s adorable but Fate’s encouraging Theo to make horrorterror deals and Theo’s like what if I abused my god tier powers instead and it’s CHAOS. I love them so much. no one else they’re all they’ve got babey!

Luca is dating Elli and Julius (who are also dating) and they’re a squad all on their own. Elli and Julius are weebs and Luca makes fun of them for it but he’s the one dating them so rip. Luca loves them both so much but him and Elli have more of a “childhood friends” vibe (because they are) and Luca and Julius have a “flirt vs one very pretty boy” vibe (because that’s exactly what’s going on these aren’t vibes these are just what’s happening). they’re all ADORABLE. none of them have any other friends but specifically Luca doesn’t because he’s mine and he’s lonely. rip.

Orca is pals with/dating June as mentioned above! and pals with West! and friends with Mell!

I’m not gonna get too into the SBURB 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO squad because the friendships aren’t entirely fleshed out but Pistol and Spike are friends and Spike’s totally crushing on Pistol and it’s cute. they’re cute. I rest my case.

I’M GONNA DO THE REST OF THE QUESTIONS IN A REBLOG BECAUSE DEAR GOD.

[doomedhowell]

Stuck

Summary: Dan becomes pregnant, and is desperate for a job. He needs money for the baby. Then, he gets a job at Phil’s company. It’s not the ideal job, but Dan’s desperate at this point.

Genre: AU, Fluff

Word Count: 2,614

Trigger Warnings: swearing

Written for the pff bingo 2019: filled for the prompt ‘pregnancy!’

[READ ON AO3]

Dan takes a deep breath as he stands outside the boss’s office. He’s about to be interviewed for a job, and he desperately hopes that all goes well today. Dan’s willing to do anything at this point, with being over a month pregnant and having absolutely  no one to help him with the baby.

No thanks to the father of the baby not wanting anything to do with him or the baby, and his family having kicking him out years ago after learning about Dan’s special ability to carry children.

“Daniel Howell?” A blonde woman calls after opening the door to the office. “He’s ready for you.”

“Thank you,” Dan mumbles as he starts to walk into the office, but the woman quickly stops him.

“Eye contact is important, if you want to get a job. You must be nervous,” she begins. “Hope it goes well.”

Dan’s eyes widen slightly as he stares at the woman, before slowly nodding. “Th- Thank you,” he says, and mentally kicks himself for stuttering before walking into the office. He looks up and sees Phil Lester, the man he’s heard so much about since applying to work at this company. Dan knows that he’s rich, and is known to be a perfectionist and quite strict. Dan’s slightly terrified of this man already.

The man looks up and smiles when he sees Dan. “Thank you, Louise. Please have a seat, Daniel,”

Dan hesitates before walking over and sitting down in one of the seats in front of Phil’s desk.

“I’m Phil. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Daniel,” Phil reaches over and shakes Dan’s hand.

“You as well. Thank you for seeing me today,” Dan says, remembering to make eye contact with Phil.

“Of course. Well, I hear you’re looking for a job today, yes? Why do you want to work at my company?” Phil asks, folding his arms on the desk as he looks up at Dan.

Dan bites his lip nervously. “I’ll be honest,” he begins. “I’m looking for a job anywhere. I need the money. Not only for me, but for my child that will be here in just a few short months.”

“Oh, you’re expecting a child?” Phil asks, the news surprising him.

Dan slowly nods. “I’m- I’m one month pregnant. Yes,”

“You’re pregnant?” Phil asks, his eyes widening as he stares at Dan. “I’ve heard of people like you, but never met a man who has the ability to carry a child. This certainly does change things.”

“Mr. Lester, please,” Dan begins as he takes a deep breath. “I know I’m pregnant and it makes things a little difficult, but I promise I’m willing to work hard just as much as the next man. I’d honestly hate to beg, but I’m desperate for a job at this point, and so far, you’re the only one who’s been willing to see me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Is that because of your pregnancy?” Phil asks curiously.

“Yes,” Dan mumbles, slowly nodding. “Nobody really wants to hire a man who’s pregnant, do they?”

Phil chuckles, and then he looks down at the papers in front of him, and sighs softly. “I’ll be honest, Dan... I don’t have a lot of job positions open right now that won’t affect your pregnancy. But, um, how about this, I’ve kind of been thinking of getting an assistant lately. Things have been quite busy for me at the office. Would you be interested in something like this at all? We’ll have to start out low on the pay.”

Dan quickly nods his head. “Yes, of course. That would be terrific. I’ll take it,” he says.

Phil smiles. “Alright then, you’re hired. Can you start tomorrow?”

“Yes. Just give me a time, and I’ll be here,” Dan assures him, trying to hide his excitement.

It may just be a personal assistant job, but he’s getting paid for it. Dan hopes after he gives birth, that maybe Phil will promote him to a better position at the company if he shows that he can do the work. But, for now, Dan’s willing to be a personal assistant just for a few months in order to make money.

Phil gives Dan the time that he needs to come in the next morning.

So, of course, when Phil says seven o’clock in the morning, Dan shows up at six thirty, surprising Phil.

“Dan, I told you seven,” Phil chuckles when he sees Dan waiting outside the office building.

Dan blushes as he looks up at Phil, slowly nodding. “I- I know, but I was paranoid about being late. So, um, I figured that instead of being late, I’d show up early. Better to be early than late, right?”

“You do have a point,” Phil nods, and then he unlocks the door, allowing Dan to walk inside first. “Excited? Today must be a big day for you.” He looks over at Dan with a smile.

“Yes, very. Thank you so much for the opportunity Mr. Lester,” Dan says.

“Oh, please. Don’t call me Mr. Lester. I’d much rather you just call me Phil instead,” Phil tells him.

Dan blushes and slowly nods. “Yes. Understood,”

“You already know where my office is, so that makes things easier. That’s probably where you’ll be spending most of your time while you’re pregnant, just in case I need anything from you, and I’d rather you be close to me in case anything happens,” Phil explains as they walk up to the elevator.

“Oh, w- we’re taking the elevator?” Dan asks nervously.

“Do you have a fear of elevators?” Phil asks, frowning slightly as he looks over at Dan.

“Kind of,” Dan admits. “I prefer taking the stairs, if I’m being honest. But, you’re here…”

“That’s right. Trust me, Dan. We’ve never once had an accident with our elevators. You’re in safe hands,” Phil assures him, before pressing the button, and allowing Dan to walk into the elevator first.

Dan takes a deep breath as he leans against the wall, trying not to think scary thoughts.

“You really are afraid of elevators, aren’t you?” Phil asks as he watches Dan curiously and carefully.

Dan slowly nods, keeping his eyes closed. “Just don’t trust them,” he mumbles. “So, now that I’m pregnant, it makes things even worse. I don’t want to put my baby in any type of danger.”

“I promise I won’t make you take the elevator again,” Phil says with sincerity in his voice.

Dan opens his eyes as he looks over at Phil, unable to help the smile that forms on his face. “Thanks,”

Phil can’t help but watch Dan. He feels so attached to this man already, and he’s only just met him, and barely knows anything about him except that he has the ability to carry. Phil wants to get to know him, and protect him at all costs. After all, Dan’s gone through so much to get this job.

“Here we are,” Phil says as they walk into his office. “I’ll have a desk put in for you, but for now you’ll have to settle with the couch. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you have everything you need to be comfortable.”

“Sir, you don’t have to go through so much trouble,” Dan says, frowning slightly.

Phil waves him off.. “No worries. I don’t mind at all. Besides, I want to help as much as I can, I mean… you’re going to be helping me, so it’s only fair that I help you in return, correct?” He grins at Dan.

Dan shakes his head fondly at Phil. “You’re absolutely ridiculous,” he says. “Is it too soon to quit this job?”

Phil laughs. “Hey, we’re going to be spending a lot of time together so get used to my ridiculousness!

Now, you have a seat on the couch. I have to go do a few things first before we get you started,”

Dan nods, and watches as Phil walks out of the office. He looks around for a second, and notices how big and cozy the office is. Phil definitely makes a lot of money with this company of his. He sighs, and then he walks over to the couch and sits down. He gently rests his hand on his little bump, and smiles softly.

“Things will get better, little one. I promise,” Dan whispers.

Luckily, things did get better for Dan after he starts working at Phil’s company. Things are slow at first, with just being Phil’s assistant. But, he actually learns to love the job for what it is. He’s pregnant after all, so there isn’t much he can do, and he understands Phil’s reasons for not giving him a lot of work to do.

Dan sighs as he walks into the building. It’s only ten in the morning, and he’s already ready to go home. Traffic is terrible which causes him to be late for work, and he encounters a judgemental mean old lady on the way to work as well. Dan’s encountered a lot of judgemental people since becoming pregnant.

“Oh, Dan!”

Dan nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears someone shout his name. He looks over and sees Chris, another employee of Phil’s. Dan knows that he does maintenance.

“Oh, wait… nevermind. I shouldn’t. Phil would kill me if I allowed you to lift anything,” Chris mumbles.

“Well, Phil isn’t here right now, is he? What do you need?” Dan asks, walking over to Chris.

“Some mail to deliver for Phil. I just saw you walk in and figured you were heading up there,”

“I am heading up there actually,” Dan nods. “I’m only five months pregnant. How much is it?” Dan asks, already knowing that Phil will probably yell at him later for lifting anything remotely heavy. But, Dan’s just not going to let his pregnancy stop him from doing work.

“Well, it’s just one box. Are you sure?” Chris asks, grabbing the box from the floor.

“I’m sure,” Dan takes the box from Chris. “See? It’s not even heavy. If Phil says anything to you, just say that I was being a stubborn idiot. Which is true. See ya, Chris.” He turns around and starts heading towards the stairs. But, he quickly stops and looks down at the box in his hands. It’s one box, but he also doesn’t want to walk up all those stairs with a box in his hands. It’s only slightly heavy for him to carry. So, it’s better to be safe than sorry. He hesitates, before heading over to the elevator.

Dan presses the button, and he nervously walks into the elevator when it opens. Dan hates elevators, and he hasn’t used one since his first day with Phil. He presses the floor number. The elevator starts moving, but Dan yelps when the elevator suddenly stops. Dan looks over towards the door with wide eyes.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” Dan cries, panic instantly rising in him.

Dan looks around, before spotting the emergency call button, which he instantly presses.

“Hello, sir or ma’am. You’ve pressed the emergency button. Is everything alright?” The woman asks, and Dan instantly recognizes the voice to belong to Louise.

“No, I’m not al-fucking-right, Louise. The fucking elevator is broken!” Dan shouts, throwing his arms up.

“Dan?” Louise exclaims. “Oh my God. Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m fine, just panicking. I walked onto the elevator and it stopped moving,” Dan tells her.

“Okay, just stay calm, alright? I’ll send Chris over. He’ll be able to fix it and help you out,” Louise says.

“Wait- Louise, will you please stay on the phone with me?” Dan asks with panic, resting his forehead against the elevator as he tries to calm himself down, but he’s breathing heavily. “I- I just hate elevators, and the one bloody time I decide to step on by myself, the elevator decides to stop working!”

“Oh, Dan. Of course. Why would you use the elevator if you hate them, then?”

“Because I didn’t feel like carrying this box of mail Chris gave me to walk up to Phil’s office,” Dan says.

“Chris should have taken it up himself. The lazy oaf,” Louise grumbles. “Hold on while I call for him.”

“And, please don’t say anything to Phil about this. He’ll absolutely chew me out for this!” Dan whines.

Louise chuckles. “You know very well that he’s going to find out anyways,”

Dan only has to wait for a couple of moments before Chris finally shows up. The elevator is cracked open slightly so that Dan can talk to Chris through it. “Chris, I’ve never been more happy to see you,”

“Mate, I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know how much you hate elevators,”

“Let’s not talk about that right now,” Dan whines. “Just get me the fuck out of here. I’m fucking panicking, and now my baby is in danger. I just need to get out of here.” He holds onto his bump protectively.

“Don’t worry. I’ve dealt with this before. We’ll have you out in no time,” Chris tries to assure him.

“Dan?”

Dan groans the second he hears Phil’s voice. Great, now he’s in big trouble.

“Go ahead, Phil. Tell me what a big fucking dumbass I am for taking the elevator,” Dan grumbles.

“Actually, I was going to tell you that you are a dumbass for offering to carry that box of mail,” Phil says. “But, you’re right about the elevator too. You should have just called me for help.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. Just get me out of the elevator!” Dan cries, pounding on the door.

“Babe, don’t do that. You have to remain calm. Chris went to go get help,” Phil says calmly.

Dan closes his eyes, and tries taking deep breaths. Listening to Phil’s voice keeps him calmed down.

Forty minutes later, Dan finds himself sitting down on the floor in the corner, curled up. Phil’s spent the entire time there with him, despite having an entire company to run.

Then, the doors finally open.

Dan gasps, and sees Phil run into the elevator.

“Dan!” Phil exclaims, carefully pulling Dan up from the floor, and guiding him out of the elevator. “Holy shit. I was so fucking worried about you-” He wraps his arms around Dan and pulls him into a hug.

Dan whimpers as he buries his face in Phil’s chest, hugging him. “I’m never using an elevator again!”

Phil chuckles, gently kissing Dan’s forehead. “Idiot. This is why I don’t want you carrying things,”

“Just wanted to help,” Dan mumbles, pouting as he looks up at Phil.

Phil sighs softly as he stares at Dan, and now he desperately wants to kiss Dan right then and there, but he knows that now isn’t the time. Especially when Dan’s in such a panicked state from the elevator mess.

“We should get you to a doctor. Make sure everything is alright with the baby, yeah?” Phil suggests.

“Phil, I’m fine. Honestly, there’s no reason-” Dan begins to object.

“It’s too late, I’m going to call the doctor-” Phil says as he pulls out his phone.

“Thank goodness you’re okay!” Chris exclaims as he runs up to Dan and Phil. “Are you okay, Dan? Here, I grabbed some water for you just in case. You were stuck in there for a long time.”

“Thank you,” Dan says as he takes the water bottle from Chris. “I’m fine. I promise.”

“You’re an idiot too, Chris. You and I are having a talk later, mister,” Phil warns, glaring at Chris.

“Phil,” Dan sighs and shakes his head. “Whatever. I’m just glad to be out of that fucking elevator.”