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bloody-bee-tea · 3 years ago

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Worry

Jiang Cheng sighs and leans closer to Nie Mingjue when Wei Wuxian goes off on one of his tangents again.

It’s good to see his brother again—he has been rather busy now that he and Lan Wangji adopted A-Yuan—but this is one of the things Jiang Cheng didn’t miss.

He can already feel his headache forming.

“Relax,” Nie Mingjue whispers and rubs his thumb over the fleshy part between Jiang Cheng’s thumb and index finger. Jiang Cheng isn’t sure if it’s really doing anything for him, but the steady motion and the knowledge that Nie Mingjue is right there next to him do wonders to relax him.

Jiang Cheng mostly tunes Wei Wuxian and his babbling out, but he pays a bit more attention when Wei Wuxian leans over the table.

“What are we going to do?” Wei Wuxian asks and Jiang Cheng frowns because he has no clue what Wei Wuxian is talking about.

“About what?” he asks, relishing the look of surprise on Wei Wuxian’s face.

“You didn’t even listen!”

Nie Mingjue chuckles softly at Jiang Cheng’s side and it causes Jiang Cheng to smile.

“No, I didn’t. I almost never do,” he says, mostly just to rile Wei Wuxian up and it works beautifully.

“You!” It seems like Wei Wuxian is having trouble finding his words and Jiang Cheng takes the opportunity to turn his head and press a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s cheek, just because he can.

“I was talking about family dinner! What are we going to do about family dinner?”

Jiang Cheng is still missing crucial information here, mostly about why this family dinner would need any special actions, but he decides he simply doesn’t care.

“I’m bringing Mingjue. No matter what has you this worried, I guess it’s going to be overshadowed by that,” Jiang Cheng easily tells him and Nie Mingjue sighs.

They have talked about this already and Nie Mingjue agreed to come to dinner this time, even though he wasn’t happy about it.

Jiang Cheng isn’t happy about it either, if he’s being honest, but Nie Mingjue has to meet his parents at least once and Jiang Cheng prefers if he can decide when and where. At least family dinner has a set end time, so it will be over before either of them even knows it.

“You what?” Wei Wuxian shrieks. “You want to bring your sugar daddy to family dinner? Are you insane?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jiang Cheng hisses back, because how dare Wei Wuxian call Nie Mingjue his sugar daddy. If anyone is behaving like a sugar baby, then it’s Wei Wuxian. And he’s not afraid to say so.

“If anyone is behaving like a kept man, it’s you, with how much your boyfriend is spoiling you,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, which only adds to Wei Wuxian’s outrage.

“Fiancé!” he almost yells and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and nudges his shoulder against Nie Mingjue’s.

“Can you believe this guy?” he fake whispers over to him. “He didn’t know he was in love with him for thirteen years and now he gets all offended.”

Nie Mingjue makes a little noise in response and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng frown.

“You okay?” he asks, concerned at Nie Mingjue’s reaction.

“Sure. It’s my turn to pay, right?” Nie Mingjue asks, reaching for his wallet and Jiang Cheng’s frown deepens.

“I can pay, too, no problem,” he gives back, but before he can get his own wallet Nie Mingjue has his already on the table.

“See, I tell you,” Wei Wuxian says as he leans over the table. “Sugar daddy.”

“We have a standing agreement to switch,” Jiang Cheng says and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I am pulling my own weight in this unlike other people,” he says with a meaningful look at Wei Wuxian.

“But I’m poor,” Wei Wuxian wails.

“And your fiancé is paying for you,” Jiang Cheng says. “Tell me again how that is not a sugar daddy?”

“Well at least we have the sex to make it work, too,” Wei Wuxian says, suddenly completely unconcerned and Jiang Cheng has had enough.

“Mingjue, you ready to leave?” he wants to know, getting up and dragging Nie Mingjue up behind him without really waiting for his answer.

Jiang Cheng is not even sure if Nie Mingjue paid yet, but for all that he cares, Wei Wuxian can take this bill. Would serve him right, too.

“Hey, you alright?” Jiang Cheng asks Nie Mingjue again when they are outside of the coffee shop and Nie Mingjue is still uncharacteristically quiet.

“Sure,” he easily gives back, but Jiang Cheng spots some tension in the lines around his eyes and in the way he holds his shoulders and it worries him.

“You sure?”

“Let’s just go home,” Nie Mingjue sighs and Jiang Cheng thinks that it’s maybe just a Wei Wuxian induced headache.

Those are usually unavoidable and Jiang Cheng would completely understand if Nie Mingjue succumbed to one as well today. Wei Wuxian was especially grating this meeting, and his flippant comment about their relationship was just the tip of the iceberg really.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng agrees and decides to do something nice for Nie Mingjue once they are home, like a massage or something.

Nie Mingjue deserves it, but especially today. It can’t have helped that he had to go in to work before this meeting even though it’s supposed to be their week off.

The ride home is quiet which worries Jiang Cheng if he’s being honest, because Nie Mingjue is a chatty driver. At the very least he sings along to the songs on the radio and he’s not even doing that, so either his headache is really bad or he must be pretty upset over something.

“I love you,” Jiang Cheng says and reaches for Nie Mingjue’s hand.

He doesn’t want to ask again if everything is alright—clearly Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to talk about it right now—and he figures this is the next best thing he can do.

“Love you, too,” Nie Mingjue mumbles but even that sounds lacklustre and a tiny spark of worry settles in Jiang Cheng’s gut.

He doesn’t bring it up again, though, because he figures the car is not the best place to get a man as stubborn as Nie Mingjue to talk, and so he keeps quiet until they are in their apartment.

“Okay, my soul, I love you, and usually I respect your need for silence but something is wrong and I need you to tell me, please,” he says as soon as Nie Mingjue has his shoes off and Jiang Cheng closes the door behind them.

“Nothing is wrong,” Nie Mingjue mutters, but he’s not meeting Jiang Cheng’s eyes and if that wouldn’t be a dead giveaway that something is so very wrong, then the way he keeps his shoulders up would be.

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Jiang Cheng gives back, and marches off into the living-room.

“Is it because of Wei Wuxian? Or because of dinner with my parents?”

“It’s not—” Nie Mingjue starts and then trails off so Jiang Cheng must have gotten decently close with his guess.

“You don’t have to meet my parents if you don’t want to, you know that, right? Just say the word and we’ll cancel. It’ll be a disaster anyway and I am in no rush to do that,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug, because he couldn’t care less if his parents get to know Nie Mingjue.

The people Jiang Cheng cares about and who care about him already met Nie Mingjue and that’s all that matters.

Jin Ling loves Nie Mingjue and what else could Jiang Cheng wish for, really.

“You would just cancel,” Nie Mingjue says but his voice sounds off.

“If you want to, yes,” Jiang Cheng says but he narrows his eyes at Nie Mingjue. “Is it the dinner that is upsetting you?”

“I’m not upset,” Nie Mingjue snaps and it’s so obviously not true that Jiang Cheng huffs out a laugh.

“Please, my soul, you’re so upset. Just tell me why, so I can fix it. If it was Wei Wuxian, I’m gonna fight him for you, promise.”

Nie Mingjue works his jaw a few times, and Jiang Cheng knows it to be a sign that Nie Mingjue is fighting with himself and whether to say something or not so he keeps quiet and let’s Nie Mingjue work it out for himself.

“Wei Wuxian—what he said—it’s not true, right?” Nie Mingjue eventually asks and his voice sounds small in a way that it hasn’t in a long time and Jiang Cheng immediately gets up and hugs him.

“What’s not true?” Jiang Cheng asks, once he has Nie Mingjue in his arms and he can still feel the underlying tension in Nie Mingjue, so he presses a kiss to his throat for good measure, too.

“The thing about—that we’re—that I’m your sugar daddy,” Nie Mingjue gets out with much difficulty and Jiang Cheng freezes, which of course is the exact wrong thing to do, because Nie Mingjue pushes his arms off and steps out of range.

“It’s just—he is kind of right. You’re not poor, by no means, but since you decided to stand on your own feet money has been a bit tight for you and when we go out to eat, it’s usually me that pays. You moved into my apartment and I know you offered to pay rent and I refused but—”

“But know that he said it, you’re doubting,” Jiang Cheng finishes and brushes his hand over his face. “Fuck, Wei Wuxian,” he mutters.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t even know which of Nie Mingjue’s points he wants to argue first and so it takes him too long to answer.

“I didn’t think he was right,” Nie Mingjue dejectedly says and Jiang Cheng vehemently shakes his head.

“I love you!” is the first thing he says, because he thinks that’s the most important, but Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“And for what? My money? It’s not like there’s much else going on for me, with how brutish and angry I am. I know I’m a workaholic and Huaisang will always come first for me, so what is there really for you to like?”

“That’s some absolute bullshit,” Jiang Cheng spits out and steps close to Nie Mingjue to take his hand into his. “You are amazing and gentle and compassionate. Hell, if push comes to shove, I’d put A-Ling first, too, and it’s just one of the things I love about you. We’re family people. You’re a workaholic, yes, but you love what you do and your employees love you in return, so how mad about it can I really be? And you’re not brutish and angry. You’re one of the biggest softies I have ever known! Hell, just yesterday you cried when we saw a baby bunny in the park, how is that not the most adorable thing ever?” Jiang Cheng says and ducks his head far enough to catch Nie Mingjue’s eyes.

“Stop it,” he mutters, clearly embarrassed and Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“No. Not until you believe me. You are not my sugar daddy, that’s not the kind of relationship we have. We have a committed, romantic relationship, okay?” Jiang Cheng says and he geos warm just thinking about how much he loves this man, no matter how stupid he’s being at the moment.

“But the money—” Nie Mingjue says and Jiang Cheng stops him with a squeeze of his hands.

“If it really bothers you this much you should have said. I can pay rent. We can divide the costs for groceries and eating out, if it makes you happy. I know I’m no longer quite as loaded as you are, but I can pay for my own stuff. You just have to say so.”

“I don’t want you to pay for your own stuff,” Nie Mingjue says with a sigh. “I like taking care of you.”

“Okay. Then let’s just figure out where the line is for you and we’ll work around that, okay?”

“The line is your brother speaking without thinking,” Nie Mingjue grumbles which makes Jiang Cheng laugh.

“Yeah, he’s quite the idiot,” Jiang Cheng easily agrees, though he does have to admit that he breathes easier, now that Nie Mingjue seems more relaxed again.

He hates it when his soul gets all lost in his head, and while it’s been happening less and less recently, it’s still far too often for Jiang Cheng’s taste.

“Seriously, if anyone has that kind of relationship, it’s them,” Jiang Cheng goes on and steps closer to Nie Mingjue again, so that he can hug him again. “Have you seen Wei Wuxian with a wallet in the past year?”

“But they are getting married,” Nie Mingjue whispers. “That’s different.”

Jiang Cheng is silent for a moment, his ear over Nie Mingjue’s heart, just listening to its steady beating for a short time and then he pulls back enough to look at Nie Mingjue.

“I would marry you, too,” he then says and tries not to think about the vague plans he already had about a ring.

Nie Mingjue goes stiff with surprise.

“You would?”

“Of course. I love you. I don’t just say that, you know. I do. I love you so much, and I want this; you and our life. We can marry.”

“That’s not a very romantic proposal,” Nie Mingjue says, but Jiang Cheng spots the tears in his eyes and he knows that this means a lot to Nie Mingjue.

“Well, it’s not like I was planning on proposing today. I don’t even have rings yet,” Jiang Cheng mutters and then the breath is knocked out of him when Nie Mingjue crushes him to his chest.

“Yet?” he asks, clearly hopeful and Jiang Cheng squeezes him back just as hard.

“Yet,” he confirms. “It’s not like I have concrete plans yet, I just wanted to look. But I do want that, eventually, with you. And if you’re still worried, we’ll make it sooner rather than later, no worries.”

Nie Mingjue presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s hair and Jiang Cheng knows him well enough to know that he’s crying. It’s one of the things he loves so much about him. Nie Mingjue emotes so hard and so often and he always genuinely means it, too. It’s absolutely endearing.

“One worry,” Nie Mingjue says after a few minutes, and he sounds composed enough. “I am not meeting your parents for the first time and tell them we got engaged.”

It startles a laugh out of Jiang Cheng and he pulls away so he can double over more freely.

“I can see why you’d be worried about that,” he agrees when he gets himself back under control. “So the proposal will have to wait until after dinner.” Jiang Cheng grins up at Nie Mingjue, who seems better now.

Less tense and more happy.

“Alright,” he agrees, a soft smile on his face.

“Come here now,” Jiang Cheng says, deciding that after this they deserve a good cuddle on the couch.

He pushes Nie Mingjue down, before he snuggles up to him, their legs tangled together and Jiang Cheng’s ear over Nie Mingjue’s heart again.

“But seriously, if the rent or money thing worries you, just say so,” Jiang Cheng says, almost as an afterthought, because he doesn’t want Nie Mingjue to worry.

He can damn well pay for himself, it’s not a problem at all, and if Jiang Cheng is being honest he didn’t even notice the pattern they fell into. Maybe it is time to change things up a little.

“No, it’s not a worry,” Nie Mingjue denies. “It’s just—”

“Wei Wuxian got into your head a little bit,” Jiang Cheng finishes for him, because he knows the feeling.

Wei Wuxian never thinks twice before he says anything, but his words have a tendency to hit where it hurts the most and where people are most vulnerable. He doesn’t mean it, and Jiang Cheng doubts he even knows he’s doing it, but it’s a problem.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue sighs and slides his hand into Jiang Chen’s hair. “He did.”

“Stupid Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and turns just far enough to be able to press a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s chest. “We don’t have that kind of relationship, there’s nothing to worry about,” he says again, just to make sure that Nie Mingjue understands.

“Alright,” he easily enough agrees and Jiang Cheng even believes that he does.

“Talk to me if you get worried about that again. About anything, really,” Jiang Cheng slurs, sleep suddenly tugging at him and it doesn’t help that Nie Mingjue’s heartbeat is a steady rhythm in his ear.

“I will, my heart,” Nie Mingjue whispers and the last thing Jiang Cheng knows is that he presses a kiss to the top of his head.

Tomorrow, he’ll invite Nie Mingjue to dinner, just to drive the point home, Jiang Cheng decides and then falls asleep with a content smile on his lips.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

#bt writes #mingcheng #the untamed #mdzs #modern au #established relationship #misunderstandings #doubt #fluff #hurt/comfort #cuddling and snuggling #marriage proposal #in a way

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xo-cuteplosion-xo · 4 years ago

Note

I’m going through a rough time atm and I was wondering if you’re okay if I request some characters with a s/o who is just tired a lot, can’t concentrate and don’t really have energy to do stuff.

I wish I knew what characters were your comfort characters, so I could make this even better for you! I hope you feel better and the little quick drabbles help you a bit. I went with my 3 most requested, as they tend to be more often than not comfort characters. I hope that’s alright with you! Feel free to drop another request for a character that I didn’t include here.

For hard times |Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi x Reader|

Warnings: implied depression, symptoms of depression.

Genre: comfort-

Total words- 1504

Dazai:

417 words

From the start of this, he had suspicions you were feeling a little down. Watching you sit alone and look less cheery with the passing hours, days, maybe it had been a few weeks. He wanted to make you feel better, but he didn’t know how to. He was after all in your position most of the time. Unmotivated and too tired to do anything, let alone want to move about. He wanted to know what was pushing your mood down. This need grew stronger the longer he watched your tired expression. There was nothing this man wanted more than to make you feel better. Even if he didn’t understand what it was, that was pulling you under.

With careful steps, he walked over to you with a soft blanket, woven with soft strands of silky yarn. He set it over your shoulders, wrapping it around you. Watching your half-lidded eyes look over to him from the unexpected gesture he simply shook his head. Pressing his hand to your cheek, he softly smiled. The slight lift to his lips was only ever revealed to you. This kind, gentle, serious expression was his vulnerability. He hoped you would open up your woes to him. Let you rant and pour whatever feelings were bottling up and slowly dragging you down. He didn’t care what it was, a co-worker, a friend, a relationship of some kind, an ex, your family life, he just needed to help you. So as he watched you with honest worry, he pulled you close, so your head rested on his chest. “When you're ready, I’ll be here for you to drop your pain.” His voice was softer, lacking his signature playful teasing. There was nothing but an oddly comforting smoothness to his voice. Low and slightly choked as he held you. He was unsure if this little reassurance; this little contact comforted you.

He’d hold you until you could no longer cry, or until you were peacefully asleep. Even then, he’d keep your body close to his. If he were to fall asleep, he would not let you go. He would never let you go, not until you felt safe and slightly better. Even if it was only half a percent of a change, he would be happy to have helped your mood lift. He’s never going to push you to tell him what’s bothering you. He won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to. Well, except eat, he can’t have you starving.

Chuuya:

474 words

He’d be too caught up with work to notice it immediately, the changes in your mood and behavior. That doesn't mean he never does though. Out of everybody in the mafia, you were the most important to him. He was willing to take any risk to keep you safe. If he finds out because you don’t show up and refuse to drag yourself from bed, he shakes his head, refuse wouldn’t be the right word here. It’s more like he understands you can’t. Something is crushing you like a weight, and he becomes determined to fix that issue. He hardly ever talks softly, but around your tired, nearly life-less form he’s soft. His steps aren't loud stomps, but instead a soft pattern of clicks. The heels of his shoes provide you a perfect rhythm. He’ll buy you chocolate because of the serotonin that they’re proven to induce. He never asks for details, he knows you would tell him if you needed to. However, just in case you are staying silent about the weight that’s causing this pain, due to the fear he’ll think you are weak. He hints that he would never see you in such a dull fashion. “Hey, you know you can always tell me if something is wrong, right? You know I keep my word, I won't judge or tell anybody else.” There was more he wanted to say. Part of that was an expression of how much he cared about you. He stayed silent in fear he would be selfish in doing so. If those words are the trigger for you to slip from holding it all in, he wraps you in his arms and lets you do what you need to.

He doesn't care if you shout, pound your fists against his chest, cry, or do a mix of all of that. He wants you to get it all out until that weight can start to loosen, and you can start to feel free from the troubles holding down your smile. He’ll hold you after your meltdown. He will not let anybody else see you. They will not get a chance to lay a finger on you. If a specific person was the cause, like an ex, a bully, a sibling, he’ll wait till you're peacefully asleep, then have a… talk with them. He warns them that if you’re ever hurt again, they won’t get off with simply being terrified for their life. He’s insanely protective of the people close to him. You get the front of that protective nature, you’re the one he cares for the most. Whether you return such feelings or not, it won’t change anything. He hates seeing your tears, so he’ll always be there for you to cling to in such times. You are never alone, he will always be there to support you.

Atsushi:

613 words

When he first noticed you were down, he was working; doing the work Dazai had shoved at him. He liked to think you were a hard worker, so seeing you so… tired was a slight abnormality to him. He noticed how you were struggling to stay concentrated. Every so often he’d look over and find you blankly staring off, eyes glossed over. When everybody else was gone, he walked to your desk whilst fidgeting with the hem of his gloves. Taking deep breaths, he was upfront about what he’d noticed. “Are you feeling alright?” "I-I could uh take you somewhere if you want.” If you tell him you're fine, he’ll hang his head before gathering the courage to confront the lie. Even your tone was different; it sounded almost as if you had given up on everything. He knew that low, depressed tone. He used to have such a pitch to his own voice before he found his place here. He remembered how much pain he had gone through. The mental baggage of the past, the fear of what he found out was his own ability. He didn’t want that to be the pain rising in your mind. He’d pull over a chair and swipe away the pile of unfinished requests. “You’re not though. I-I don’t want to intrude, but maybe… maybe you should take some time? You seem tired, I could get you some sweets and other things if you want.” He would mutter the words under his breath until you shrugged.

When he returned, he found you on the agency sofa doing nothing but holding yourself; too exhausted to attempt to do anything. You couldn’t, not with how you felt. The thoughts racing in your head were too much to hold on to on your own. You wondered how people got this far with such a mindset. So trapped in your thoughts, you never noticed Atsushi take a seat at the other end. Sliding down bags of candy and flavored sweet drinks. He knew sugar induced serotonin, but wasn’t sure if that worked with everybody. The next thing he decided to do was look to the side and speak to you again. “If you’re going through something, I'm… we’re all here for you. The entire agency, you know, we're kind of like our own family? If you're hurting or holding something all on your own, you can tell us.” Turning back to you, he inched closer and reached for your hand. With a slow movement, he rubbed the back of your hand. “I… really am here. I’ve felt like this before… I know how hard it can be to tell others what’s bothering you, but please… can you promise me you’ll fight?” When he noticed your confused face, he decided to say it. “You’re important to every single one of us. So please, if it gets too much and you want to take it to an extreme, please… please come to one of us.” His eyes sparkled with a plea. He wouldn’t know what to do if you did something to yourself out of this pain.

If those words cause you to rush in for a hug, he’ll return the embrace. Running his hand over your back in an attempt to comfort you. He’s not the best at comfort, but he does whatever he can to help. Whether you want to hear more reassurance or just have somebody to cling to while you're unmotivated.

These things will eventually get better, with the right people, the right comfort, the right hobbies. These moments pass and light will shine. He hopes you’ll be able to see the light peek from the clouds soon.

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eartht137 · 3 years ago

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DEAREST HEART-LETTER TWO

Whooo, goodness!! I spooked myself after writing the first letter. There is a dog next door to my house and she likes to stare out towards the back "alley way" and one night while I was showering by candlelight (blinds still aren't fixed) she wouldn't stop staring out at the alley way. My azz was spooked lol. That being said, here is another "letter" from Mr. Kal El himself. Enjoy curvies MMMMMMwwwaahhhhhhh!!!!

Dark Clark Kent x Plus Size Reader

Warnings: Stalking (This chapter is pretty tame)

A few days later, the whole situation had hidden itself in your brain. You had so much going on in your waking life, you really didn't have time to dwell on a possible prank. Your birthday had arrived and you really weren't feeling too thrilled about it. Your depression just had to spike up and ruin the one day you thought you would enjoy, but you didn't even get to stress about it for long. You'd stepped into your office to boot up your computer for the day, and you saw it. On your desk was a letter, same vintage parchment, but his time it had an Aster instead of a Rose. You stared at it for so long, wondering if you should read it or not. You finally sat down and pulled the letter out of the envelope to see what he had to say.

Happy Birthday Little One,

I wish so badly that I could show you the best birthday you've ever had, but that will have to wait. I know you're not looking forward to today. I've noticed you haven't mentioned it much, and you almost forgot. How do you forget your birthday silly girl? I have purchased a gift every year since we met, I can't wait until I'm able to give them to you and you can unwrap each and everyone as if it were Christmas. Why haven't you planned anything? Not even a free day for yourself, what's going on? I wish you would talk to me. I want so badly to help you get better, but its a one day at a time deal. I was there you know, when you almost died? I was there the night you called your husband and told him the truth about how bad you felt. I swear it was the scariest night of my life when the surgeon walked in and told you they were putting you in an induced state for a week. All I could think was, what if you didn't wake up, or what if they did something wrong? What if they hurt you more or caused a bad reaction. I have seen a lot of things, but I have never been so sad and afraid to lose someone like you. I watched over you every night, making sure you'd come back to me and the baby. Well, you know what I mean. I know that's been rough on you, but you are making great progress. I remember you saying you'd like to change your hair, would you like for me to set up your appointment? I think you'd look delicious with cherry red hair, just don't cut it please. I love your hair. I love everything about you. I know you don't remember, but the moment our eyes met, I couldn't get you out of my head. I tried, I swear I tried so hard to stay away. I'd go for walks at night to clear my head and try not to think of you, and I'd find myself further and further away from home. It has to be fate that wants us together, because there you were, pulling in from work one night. I watched you sit there blaring your music, trying to finish the song before you went inside. I knew you right away, I had never been so....I can't describe how it felt, it was overwhelming. It had to be love that outweighed the hurt, even your "husband" walked out to greet you, it just couldn't overshadow what my heart felt. I told myself that I loved you enough to let you be happy, and I did for awhile. Not one day or night went by where you didn't cross my mind, so I decided to whisk by and take a picture of you, just for memory of the woman I couldn't have. One picture turned to two, two turned to ten. I had to get the perfect angle, but the only perfect angle is up close, in person; like I said I did try. I wish I could take you out for your birthday. I'd cook for us and we'd go down by the river, or I could take you somewhere 5 star. I know its really not your thing, but you deserve to be served like a queen. You are a queen to me. I dreamed about you, I dream about you all the time, but this one was different. It scared me so much, I woke in cold sweat. I can't bear to think about it now, but I know it was just a stupid dream. I will have to go out of the country for awhile, but I promise to still write as often as I can. I love you, so much.

With All My Heart and Soul,

Kal-El

"Babe!!! Babe, I need to tell you something." You said scared senseless. You rushed to your husband, showing him the letters and explained that you thought it was a sick prank. Your husband immediately called the police. He packed you all up and as much as he hated it, you all went to stay with your mom.

That night while you were up talking to your mom, she leaned back and asked you something insane.

"Is that really another man's baby?" she asked seriously.

"NO! I don't even know who this is, I swear I don't know a Kal-El. I've never met anyone like that in all my life." You whisper screamed at her as you struggled to hold back tears. She stared into your eyes for a moment before sighing heavily. Before you knew it she was crying and hugging your neck so tight you couldn't breathe.

"After all you've been through, this was the last thing you needed. I've always told you to be careful and watch your surroundings." She fussed.

"Ma I did, but I don't ever go anywhere. I stay in the house most of the time and I'm always with my family." You couldn't help but feel as if you were being attacked.

"You never know who is watching you." She argued back.

"Ma, look at me." You said standing back opening your arms to show your full body. "All these years I've worked hard to feel comfortable in my own skin. It took me a long time to feel fully comfortable around my own husband. All of these years you guys have trashed me for my weight, the times you all have told me that I get different treatment for my size, there was no way in this world I could've ever imagined that I would get stalked by-by this Kal-El fucker!" You yelled as tears flowed down your face, you could even feel your face strain in anger. "Now this is happening, and I should've been watching my surroundings. You drilled in my head for years that people looked past me for you and everyone else. You drilled in my head that people would only want me to use me, YOU DRILLED IN MY HEAD THAT I NEVER HAD THE LOOK TO MAKE IT OUT HERE, SO NOW HERE WE ARE WITH A MANIAC THAT SOMEHOW MANAGED TO FIND ME THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW OR HAVE ANY CLUE AS TO WHAT THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE AND I SHOULD'VE BEEN WATCHING MY SURROUNDINGS!?" Your head felt like it was on fire, then all at once stars appeared and you lost vision.

When you woke up you were laying on the floor with a jacket under your neck as your mom and family (that she had called) stood around trying to get you to come back to. You tried sitting up, but only felt dizzier. Your hands and feet felt numb and you were shaking as sweat poured off of your body. Your husband sat by you, fanning you and giving you water. When you began to feel better, he helped you up and over to the couch. He asked everyone to leave you alone and not upset you anymore.

"Baby what do you want to do? How can I make you feel safe?" Your husband asked.

You stared deep in his eyes and remembered why you loved him so much. He always went out of his way to make sure you were happy. You thought back to not so pleasant days when you both argued and said mean things and your realized then and there how much you took him for granted sometimes. Before you knew it the flood gates released and you sobbed.

"Can you just hold me please?" You asked in a small pitiful voice.

"I will always hold you and be there for you baby. I love you. We will get through this together, like we always do."

#dark clark kent #plus size reader #henry cavill #dark superman

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intheticklecloset · 4 years ago

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Deku’s Interrogation (My Hero Academia)

Primary Universe

Yaaaas! I loved writing this prompt so much! I decided to take that “capture the flag” idea and turn it into a “rescue the hostage” training exercise for the class. I also decided to have Kaminari be the ler because I’ve written a lot of ler Bakugou torturing poor Deku! 😂 I think the change was refreshing and fun! Enjoy!

In all of his hero training at U.A., Deku had never been cast to play a villain before. He didn’t know why, now that he thought about it. Selecting classmates to play villains seemed to be random each time; the fact that he’d gone so many rounds without being cast himself was actually a pretty impressive statistic. Had Mr. Aizawa done that on purpose? Or maybe All Might had something to do with it?

No, he decided, walking slowly and alertly through the empty streets of the fake city they were training in. It was just the luck of the draw that he’d never had to play a bad guy before. But today was different. Today they were doing rescue training, and he and six others had been cast to play the villains. His job was to keep any heroes from getting close enough to their base to rescue their captive, Mr. Aizawa. With his speed and raw power, he seemed the perfect choice to make sure no one even got close enough to the building, let alone inside it.

Up ahead, he heard a soft sound followed by a whispered curse. Instantly his mind was shuffling through potential threats. Which one of his classmates was nearby? He could only rule out those who were on his team as fellow villains; it could be anyone hiding around that corner up ahead.

Deciding the element of surprise would be best, Deku surged forward, leaping up onto the side of one structure to use as a springboard to attack whoever was hiding, but his opponent seemed to have suspected he’d do this and had already bailed from where they’d been just as Deku came hurtling toward the spot they’d vacated.

When he stood up, Deku found himself face-to-face with Kaminari.

“Aw, crap,” Denki muttered, putting on an angry face for the sake of their training. “Of course it had to be you.”

“Thought you could sneak up on me?” Deku asked, trying to stay in character.

“If I hadn’t tripped over that rock, I would have.”

“Too bad for you.”

Kaminari threw his hands in the air, violent sparks of electricity shooting out from his hands and flying toward Deku at record speed. But thanks to One For All, the “villain” was able to jet away quickly enough to avoid damage, then hurtle back toward Denki and grab his arms, twisting them behind him.

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said in what he hoped was a growling voice.

“Oh yeah?” Kami whipped his head back hard enough to smack into Deku’s forehead, making him shout in pain and stumble back in the seconds before he found himself shoved against a wall, soft electric currents shooting through his pinned wrists. “Now, if you so much as blink at me the wrong way, I’ll fry you so hard you’ll go up in smoke.”

Wow, he’s really into this, Deku thought.

“I’m only going to ask this once,” the electric hero continued. “Where is Mr. Aizawa?”

Deku grunted, but he knew better than to make any sudden movements. “Like I’d tell you.”

All of a sudden, Denki got a look in his eyes that sent a shiver down Deku’s spine. The blonde eyed him for a moment, then glanced at his wrists – still buzzing with a soft current – and chuckled lowly. “Heh. Aren’t you a little too ticklish to be playing a villain, Midoriya?”

Deku’s eyes widened. “Y-You…you wouldn’t. Not in the middle of training.”

Kaminari’s answering smirk was positively evil. “Try me.”

Deku tried to break out of Kami’s hold, but the instant he moved – as promised – his friend intensified the current running down his arms, making them freeze up in a painful electric shock. While he cried out and was distracted, Denki grabbed onto his hips and started kneading. “Tell me where he is.”

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!” Deku burst into laughter, shooting his arms down to grab at Kami’s wrists desperately. “NOHOHOHOHO NO NO, YOU CAHAHAHAHAHAN’T DO THIHIS!!”

“Says who?” Denki challenged, pushing him right back up against the wall. “The rules say the heroes are to find and rescue the hostage by any means necessary. Well, I intend to do both, even if it means tickling you to pieces to get the information I need.”

“STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!! KAMINAHAHAHARI!!”

“Better talk, villain.” Denki’s smirk became more playful now. “Or I’ll use my quirk to really tickle it out of you.”

Everything in Deku wanted to beg Kaminari to let him go, but in order to fulfill his role as a villain, he knew he couldn’t give up the information without a fight. So, despite his singing nerves, he spat out a half-growled, “DOHOHOHOHO YOUR WOHOHOHORST!!”

“As you wish.”

“AAIIEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!” Deku shrieked with hysterics when Kami ignited his sparks just enough to send extra intense ticklish shockwaves through his system. His legs quickly gave out beneath him from the assault. “NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!”

“Tell me where Aizawa is!” Denki demanded, grinning as he followed Deku to the ground and pinned him there. “Tell me, or I’ll tickle you to death!”

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!” Deku desperately shoved at Kami’s shoulders, but in response the blonde merely laughed and straddled him, still focused on his hips. “I-I’LL NEHEHEVER TAHAHAHAHAHALK!!” He regretted his words even as he said them, but he had to stay in character! “I CAHAHAHAHAHAHAN TAHAHAHAHAKE IT!!”

“You can?” Kaminari beamed. “Great! Then you won’t mind if I just tickle and tickle and tickle and—”

“NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP TAHAHAHALKING!!” Deku pleaded, the teasing messing with him more than he could stand. Resisting tickle torture was one thing, but teasing as well?!

“Stop talking? I thought you said you could take this?” Denki knew full well what he was doing, and under normal circumstances perhaps he would have felt a little bad about it, but right now he had a job to do. He was getting that location out of Deku if it was the last thing he did. “Oh, I see. You can take the tickling; it’s the teasing you don’t like!”

“KAMI--!!”

“Well, I mean, I did say you were a little too ticklish to be a villain. And here we are, me completely dominating this fight, all because you’re just so insanely sensitive! Why did the villains think to put you on guard duty when just one little tickle would render you helpless like this?”

“I’M NOHOHOHOHOT HEHEHEHEHEHELPLESS!!” Deku screeched, kicking his legs and trying to pry Denki’s fingers from his hips. But anytime he got close enough to make contact, the sparks emanating from the hero would force him back again.

“No? Go ahead, then. Get out of this if you can, villain.”

He was trying. So, so desperately he was digging his heels into the pavement, twisting and writhing to try and get Kami’s weight off of him, shoving at any part of his body he could reach. None of it was working. Denki knew his death spot was his hips and he was just staying there and Deku was losing his mind laughing and the electric shocks were only making it worse—

“PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE!!” Deku couldn’t help it anymore; if he didn’t do something he was going to go insane. Laughter-induced tears streamed down his cheeks. “STAHAHAHAHAP, PLEASE, KAHAHAHAHAHAMINARI!!”

“Where’s Mr. Aizawa?” Denki demanded, slipping back into his role as a relentless hero now that he saw how desperate he’d made his friend. “Talk, villain!”

“I CAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAN’T!!” Deku screamed, tossing his head back with renewed hysterics when Denki intensified his ticklish shockwaves.

“The more you resist, the more I tickle,” Kaminari said in a low, threatening tone. “Talk.”

Now Deku was well and truly losing his mind. He knew there was no getting out of this physically; he was far too weakened by the tickling and his thoughts were turning to mush with every second that went by that his torturer didn’t let up on his death spot. He could barely breathe. His laughter was beyond out of control – it was wild. There was only one thing he could do to get this to stop, and while he hated giving in so easily, he had no choice.

“OKAYOKAYOKAHAHAHAHAHAHY I’LL TAHAHAHAHAHAHALK JUST PLEASE STOP TIHIHIHIHICKLING MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!”

Denki stopped, grinning victoriously, but at that moment the buzzer sounded and Present Mic’s voice blasted through the speakers. “The heroes have dismantled the villain’s defenses and rescued the hostage! This battle is over! Heroes win!”

For a moment, Kaminari could only blink in astonishment. His friends had rescued Mr. Aizawa while he was out here tickling Deku into submission? What good had that done anyone? He was such a moron. “Aw, man,” he mumbled, climbing off of his friend. “I didn’t even get to do anything.”

“A-Are you…kidding me?” Deku gasped incredulously, looking up at him through teary-eyed vision. “I w-was the villains’…primary defense! Y-You completely disarmed me, and while…while I was distracted the other h-heroes got in to rescue the hostage. You just won for…your whole team, Kaminari!”

Denki was silent for a moment. Then a megawatt grin spread across his features and he pumped a fist in the air. “All right! I did it!” He turned his smile to Deku, who still lay gasping for breath, and he hesitated. “Oh, uh…are you okay, Midoriya? Sorry if I went a little crazy, I just…” He knelt down beside his friend. “I had to play my role, you know?”

Deku groaned. “And since I couldn’t just give up the information you needed without a fight, I got tickled nearly to death. This doesn’t seem fair.”

“Well…I did say I’d hold you to letting me try out my new tickle-shocks on you.” Kaminari chuckled. “So you kind of had this coming anyway.”

After a long moment, Deku giggled tiredly. “Yeah, okay, I guess that makes me feel a little better.” He held out his hand, and Kaminari helped him to his feet. “Do me a favor though – next time you feel like tickling me, please do not use those tickle-shocks on my hips. That was unbearable.”

“Hey, I had to get the information I needed!” Denki replied with a laugh, walking with his friend away from the scene of the crime. “But it did seem a little intense. I won’t use them there again without warning you first; how does that sound?” He couldn’t very well promise to never do that again – it had been too much fun!

Deku considered for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. And hey, Kaminari?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. I didn’t like playing a villain anyway.”

#fanfiction #tickle fic #boku no hero #my hero academia #bnha #mha #denki #kaminari #izuku #midoriya #deku #training #interrogation #tickling #ticklish #tickle

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shinsouskitten · 4 years ago

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Shinsou Hitoshi nsfw alphabet

damn kat back at it again with the thirst i hate myself

Idk how I haven’t done a nsfw alphabet for my KING yet but I’m disappointed in myself for it

this post was mostly finished before the whole ‘this cold makes me feel like im dying’ thing so i just had to add a few and it was ready for publishing (bonus points if you can tell which ones were added in my cold-induced craziness)

Warnings: you know it, you love it, the thirsting of a lonely writer

---

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Shinsou is a king when it comes to aftercare. Hot baths, massages, cuddles, you name it. You mean the absolute world to him, and he’ll go out of his way to show that, both in and out of the bedroom

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Shinsou can be pretty self critical, but if you pushed for an answer he’d probably say his hair, cause he knows how much you like it. For his partner, horny Shinsou would immediately go for your neck (literally too). He loves how a single kiss can turn you into putty in his hands, and he’ll leave marks in places he knows you can’t hide just to prove to the world that you’re his

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside you, on you, he doesn’t really mind. Whatever you prefer, he’s happy with. If you want to get messy, he’s more than happy to help, but if not he’ll keep you clean (ish). Although he’s unlikely to admit it, seeing you swallow his cum ignites a fire in Shinsou, and sets up quite a few more rounds so he can give you a reward for being so good

D = Dirty secret (pretty clear, a dirty secret of theirs)

Shinsou’s pretty open with what he wants, but when you first start getting intimate there’ll be a few things he doesn’t really want to say in case he scares you away (he could never, but he still worries). He wants to experiment, but he makes sure he knows your boundaries before he suggests anything too out there. The thing he keeps secret for the longest is the desire to wrap your neck in a beautiful collar emblazoned with his name, simply cause he doesn’t want you to think it’s weird

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He does his research, but hands on experience is pretty limited before you. It’s a learning curve, both of you learning what makes the other tick, what causes you the highest amount of pleasure, and what to steer clear of

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Loves to see you ride him. It gives you the power to control the tempo, but also gives him a beautiful view to tip him over the edge of ecstasy. More needy Shinsou (aka when he’s in hornball mode) likes doggy style, cause it means he can pull your hair or hold you up against him and kiss your neck

G = Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

He’s not going to whip out a joke book in the middle of sex, but he’s also not going to act like an uptight secretary who’s only able to follow the rules (well, not unless you ask 👀)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps himself trimmed, possibly even shaved. It’s no nonsense and means it’s also more enjoyable for you if you’re giving him head

I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

He’s an intimate guy, but he’s also not above teasing (though there’s another letter for that so I’ll keep on intimate for now). Like I mentioned in B, Shinsou can be pretty self critical, and sometimes he can get scared that you’ll leave him if he doesn’t prove how much he loves you, which to him means intimate sex and reassurance (aka, saying ‘I love you’ every two seconds)

J = Jack off (what are their views on masturbation?)

He does it when needed. He’s not insanely horny, so chances are if he is you’re there to deal with him. But if you’re not, and he’s especially needy, he’ll most likely call you up for a little phone session. The thought of you is incredible, but being able to see and hear you is even better

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think we all know the phrase kitty, right? Well inference leads me to believe that Shinsou would be down for trying out pet play. And yes, as I mentioned before, he would 100% have a collar for you with his name on it. I don’t take criticism for that one

L = Location (favorite places to do the dance with no pants)

More traditional. Sex between the two of you means intimacy, so he’d prefer privacy. You have yet to find a surface in your house he hasn’t tried to fuck you on. That being said, your comfort is of the utmost importance to Shinsou, so if he’s going to fuck you over the kitchen counter, he’s going to make sure you feel comfortable while he does it. So yes, that means he’ll take pillows off the sofa’s just to make you comfy

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc)

You. Simple as. There are certain things that especially turn him on, such as you biting your lip or being extra attentive to him in what would seem like a normal scene to anyone else watching. Put your hand on his thigh when out at dinner and pay the price when you get home. Or maybe that was your plan all along

N = No (turn offs, something they wouldn’t do)

Shinsou never wants you to be in pain (well not unless you want to be in pain). He’ll leave hickies all over you, but that’s about as far as he’ll go with marking you. Maybe a spank here and there, but he won’t scar you or leave any marks that won’t be gone in a few days

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Shinsou prefers giving, but he’ll never say no to receiving either. He wants you to feel good, but if you decide to turn the tables he’s not going to deny you. Once you’re finished though, he’s repaying the favor tenfold. And just as a note, pull his hair when he goes down on you. He adores it

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Yes and yes. It all depends on the situation, his mood, the usual things. He’ll do whatever provides you with the most pleasure (while also allowing him to tease you)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

He doesn’t love them, but if they’re the only way to get some gratification then he’s willing (only if you are though). He’s careful about location, he doesn’t want someone walking in and ruining the whole thing, even if the risk of being caught makes everything a little more exciting. Chances are he won’t engage in quickies unless he’s been to the place at least once before (he wants to know which wall you’d look best pinned to). He has to feel slightly comfortable in the environment

R = Risk (how risky are they willing to be?)

He’s down for a little risk, but nothing that would be too mortifying for you. If he’s going to screw you somewhere other than your home, he’s going to vet the place over a lot, and find the best place where you have the comfort of being private but the thrill of being caught if someone were to venture too close to your hideout

S = Stamina (how long do they last? how many rounds?)

Freaking hell where does he get it from? Like, he just doesn’t stop. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. Most of the rounds consist of him pleasing you, and he’ll only give in and finally fuck you when your throat is hoarse from begging, or when he feels the smallest amount of pity at the tears rolling down your face (did someone say crying kink)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

Vibrating panties. I said he doesn't physically act on desires when in public, but touching a remote isn’t the same thing as touching you, so he makes an exception. He’s not insanely cruel. For him it’s more about teasing that mortification, so if someone senses something’s wrong, he turns off the remote until they give up. But the moment they’re gone, it’s back stronger than ever

U = Unfair (how much do they tease?)

*roblox oof sound effect*

Once Shinsou gains his confidence with you, he’s not going back. His teasing is often coupled with praise, telling you how good you’re being for him while he denies you pure bliss again and again. He’ll edge you to hell and back if you give him the chance, but don’t worry, it’s worth it in the end

V = Volume (how they sound, how loud they are, etc)

Small moans and louder grunts are the main sounds coming from Shinsou when he’s enjoying himself. He swears a lot, and it’s always easy to tell how close he is to the edge by how creative his swears become. As for his partner, he wants to know how well he’s doing. He wants to hear you whine and beg while he edges you, and the pornstar-like moans that fill the air when he finally gives in and gives you what you really want

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

You think I forgot about his quirk. Ha, I could never. I said in my hcs that it takes a while for Shinsou to integrate quirk use into sex. As much as you assure him you’re in full trust, he’s anxious about the inability to say no when he has you under his control. The longer you’re together the more willing he is, but even when he does use it it’s usually a way to make edging even more dangerous, with you unable to resist his words when he tells you you’re not allowed to cum just yet

Okay maybe we have 2 wild cards this time cause I also wanna mention his capture weapon. Again, it’ll take a while for it to be available in a less-than-pg manner, but he’s more willing to use his capture weapon than his quirk. Main reason being, you can still use a safeword when tied up. But tying up goes both ways, so even if he prefers to be the one giving the pleasure, he’d never deny your wishes

X = X-ray (let’s have a looksee in those pants)

I’m trying not to be biased cause I love him so much but I feel like Shinsou’s kinda packing. A good 8.5-9 inches (no, I won’t take criticism) and on the skinnier side. But the amount of attention he gives you before his pants are even off means taking him is never difficult

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not the highest, but when you’re around it increases significantly. He’s not going to fuck you every time he sees you (I mean, he thinks about it) but he also isn’t a nun. It’s a good level, cause most days you can walk, and then on the weekends you’re a little bedridden

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s a bit of an insomniac, so screwing the energy out of him is one of the best ways to get Shinsou tired enough to sleep. He likes to hold you, so once he’s satisfied with the aftercare, he’ll crawl in bed for cuddles until the both of you pass out

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #boku no hero #hitoshi shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinsou #hitoshi shinsou smut #bnha shinsou #Shinsou #shinsou x reader #shinsou smut #mha x reader #mha smut

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abbynx · 3 years ago

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Man's greatest treasure

(Monoma Neito X Reader)

You find it particularly difficult when it comes to clashing amongst the most the rich and important who has colourful arrays of expensively glimmering rocks sewn in their clothes while you wore second hand clothing you've inherited from your older relatives. You find it additionally difficult you were practically the most underdressed person, ironically the most eye-catching one in the banquet. It seems like being the favoured darling among the crowd in this party sounds ethereal... If they weren't looking down at you on their noses with their brows raised, probably questioning how a simpleton such as you be in an extravagant banquet hosted by the wealthiest and privileged family in Japan.

Silently heaving a sigh, your gaze simply met with the floor. It was then you noticed the rich texture of the material of it. For all you know, the floor you're currently standing on is made with the most rarest stone known to mankind but at least it does not negatively interact with you. The nasty glares from rich strangers never seem to fade out even if you try to divert your attention into something else. Your ears can't help but to do its purpose, you've heard the things they've said about you.

How the hell did they even got here?

Who in the world thought it would be a good idea to invite them?

Did they...? Crashed the party?

Ugh, their attire is sooo last decade

Aren't they supposed to be... not invited?

Who invited this peasant here?

You have always dealt about comments about you. Whether it was because of your physical appearance, your personality, your status, your background, your ambitions and you have come into terms with it... You were born from a poverty-stricken family who raised a person who will give them financial support. You have always been the pawn, the answer to their financial needs. For the booze, the drugs, three meals a day, a decent living space... However, there would be times you would find yourself getting strangled with extremely irrational thoughts. You would let them fuel the way you doubt yourself to a certain extent you've contemplated about your own worth. A pawn to your parents, a doormat to privileged people, a plaything for fate to entertain themselves with... A worthless nobody who serves the role as the floor scrubbing servant who feeds on the leftover from the plates of the privileged.

The only reason you were because of an invitation from the celebrator himself. Neito Monoma wishes to celebrate his success of landing as the top ninth hero with you by throwing am insanely large gala.

His family was old money, filthy rich and will only get richer and richer as the decades pile on. Their family have always been composed of famous and successful people. His father owns a large company for jewellery mainly rings, his mother is a famous fashion designer, his eldest brother is the heir of the company and as well as a popular influencer, his sister is the famous actress with myriad of talents for both Broadway and media...

And how could you forget your darling Neito Monoma? The top ninth hero of Japan. Talented, skilled, cunning, intellectual, successful... Compared to a plain nobody such as you are. You often questioned your relevance and worth and he hates it.

It was no secret his family does not like you. They never bothered to conceal it even if Neito was around. You've met them before, it was the time your boyfriend introduced you to his family in a simple family dinner in the Monoma estate. You can still feel their gazes bearing scrutiny and obvious hatred. Neito was by your side all the time and you appreciate it... But there would be times where you're starting believe his parents that he deserves better.

You have encountered his sister awhile ago. She was divinely beautiful, a deity incarnated with a rotten core. With a face barren with any superficial cosmetics, it was then you realize that she is effortlessly beautiful as much as she is effortless at being ugly on the inside. The way she scrunched her face upon seeing you present in her brother's celebration... It was disgusting that you weren't able to stand your ground, but your in the depths of your despair, your inferiority got the best of you instead.

"Oh, I thought he would have already broke up with you-" she gazed at your from the tip of her nose. "-dear brother deserves the best and only the best. Not some peasant dressed in poorly sewn trash. Even the floor has more worth than you." She says, before walking off. It was awhile ago, just before the gala was crowded with too much people, and yet it still lingers in your mind.

The floor even has more worth than I have-

"Ah, you've made it!" You find yourself snapping out of your irrational thoughts induced trance when a certain pompous voice took your hands in his, pulling you closer until your head rests on his chest. You gradually pressed your head against his chest with a sigh, entwining your fingers with his soft and slender ones. His chest lightly shakes with a light-hearted chuckle, wrapping an arm over the small of your back while his free hand held your hands. "I apologize for my tardiness, I was simply greeting guests individually... So I decided to greet the best for last." He strokes your hand with his thumb, before pressing your wrist against his lips.

He usually enjoyed seeing you vulnerable when reacting to his shameless acts of public display of affection. The way you would timidly avert your gaze from his smug, but oddly affectionate ones, the heat emitting from your face and the smile you try to defy. But this time he saw a different type of vulnerability in your eyes... You were shaken, your usual vibrant eyes were dull and casted down, your head lowered, your shoulder sagged and back haunched. Monoma Neito immediately notices your unusual discomfort and pulls you out of the crowd to a more obscured area by the balcony.

He walks behind you, puts his hand atop your shoulders and rolls it back. He proceeds to walk in front of you, taking your chin with his pointer finger and thumb, before tilting it up to have your lovely eyes meet with his. His lips formed into a soft smirk before stealing a peck from you. He lingered a little longer, savouring the sweet spark between you and pulls away to stare into your eyes.

"Darling, chin up-" he puts his curled finger under your chin, tilting it up. "-your crown is falling."

"Oh shut it-!" At the most highest range of your voice, you shoved him by his chest and turned away from him to face the gardens below the balcony with a red face. A low chuckle erupted from the depths of his velvety vocals and takes this as an opportunity to wrap his arms around your waist and puts his chin atop your shoulder.

"Are you particularly uncomfortable with the crowd? If I've known it sooner I would have swept you off your feet and have you in my bedroom-" his finger began to wander by your shoulders, wandering by your collarbone and neck, before he found himself tracing your jawline and cheeks. He leans to your ear, his hot breathe fanning your skin as he acquired an enticing voice. "-we could've done so many things- OOF!"

You did not let him speak any further by giving him a good elbow by his stomach and pushing him away. Your cheeks burned hotter than the sun and the only thought you can pick at the back of your head was to jump off the balcony if he ever continued to fluster you like this. He doubles over in pain, clutching his stomach, but couldn't help but to laugh at your dirty assumptions.

"I was going to say reading books or watching a movie, but I see you have something else in mind," he laughs, wrapping his arms around your stiff figure. His laughs subsides with a sigh, before he puts his chin over your shoulder. "What's wrong, my love? You've been uncharacteristically silent the whole night."

You knew it wouldn't last long before he would address the elephant in the room. You were quite disappointed it took him a few minutes before he can see what's wrong. The moment he lead you out of the crowd, he knew something was wrong. You were becoming more easy to read the more he spent his time with you and you have no idea if it was a good thing or bad.

He sighs at your relentless desire to stay silence. You felt his lips on your cold neck, his cold hand grasping your hand and giving it a tight squeeze.

"Darling, please..." His voice was reduced into a more soothing tone. Genuinely concerned for your well being, taking you seriously... "Please tell me what to do to make you feel better..."

That damned voice he uses that instantly commands you to listen to him, to make yourself the best version of yourself just for him. Your chest started to well with pleasant feelings, knees started to feel weak, leading you to lean your body on his for support. He presses his body further, engulfing you with his comforting warmth. Neito gently strokes your arm in a manner to comfort you, just waiting for your answer.

"Is it my family again?" He asks, patiently waiting for your answer.

You sighed, turning around to face him. You leaned your head on his chest, grasping his hand in yours. "Promise me you won't confront them about it." You knew far too well he will find his ways to look for a loophole from your request, but at least you can hope he won't confront them because of you.

"... No promises." You rolled your eyes, lightly smacking him by the chest. He simply chuckles and caresses your cheek with a loving smile. "I'll try not to be too harsh."

You sighed, knowing full to well he might not abide with your conditions. "It's your sister..." You held the same hand he uses to caress your cheek, firmly pressing it. "She- she said that I'm worthless-"

"We both know it isn't true, my love," he smiles, kissing your knuckle and watches you squirm under his kiss. "You, my darling, are not worthless. You're priceless. Ignore my family, disregard their judgement. Their beliefs are all built in with vanity and you shan't let them affect you."

He deeply gazed upon your eyes, his grey orbs peering into your soul and piercing it with sincerity and reassurance. "No matter what they say, no matter what they do, you can't let them knock you off your humble pedestal. You can't let them dictate your worth. For you, my sweet sweet angel, are man's greatest treasure."

With tearful eyes, you embraced Neito, pressing your face against his chest. You denied yourself to sob, bursting into small whimpers as he strokes your back with his hand, swaying you from side to side to calm you down.

"It's alright my love, let it all out..." He comforts, kissing your cheek and letting you cry on his chest.

"I love you, Neito..." You wiped the stubborn tears away from your eyes, backing away from him.

He chuckles in amusement with sheer euphoria, he pulls you close. The distance between the two of you closed as both parties leaned forward to meet in a passionate kiss. He grasps your hand close to his chest, wherein his heart erratically pounds within him. After pulling away, he lingers for a second and leans his forehead against yours.

His lips touched yours as he breathlessly spoke, "I love you, too, my dearest Y/N. Remember you're worth more than you think."

#mha neito #monoma x reader #my hero x reader #mha #bnha

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birdwonder · 5 years ago

Note

I just saw your body swap HCs for the Bucciarati gang, so could I request one for the Crusaders? I also heard about your computer troubles, so if it’s too long and rage inducing I apologize. (Hope you can get your computer fixed) (also found out I could use emojis thanks to you!)🃏

|| sorry for the late response ! thanks for the concern, jester/joker ( whatever shall i call you? ) btw !

Original Post + TW : comedic, very light nsfw

Star Dust Crusaders | Bodyswap Headcanons

Jotaro Kujo

- The two of you were heading out to buy some cold beverages when you were hit with the stand attack that wasn’t even all that surprising seeing as Dio had sent non-stop, relentless attacks against you all ever since your journey had began. What was surprising was the stand’s effects however.

- When you staggered backwards, you had unfortunately hit your head against a stop street sign that hurt more than you wanted to admit. There was some shock though, as you hadn’t bashed against the pole of the sign but the actual image it displayed it’s self - something you were sure you were too short to reach. “How the hell?” You muttered to yourself while rubbing the back of your hair, pausing when you realised how freakishly different your hair felt. Not to mention, when you looked down, those were definitely not your clothes.

- “You tell me.” A voice- Your voice responded, your own eyes glaring at you yet from a much lower angle. Shit, you were tall. Or, was this body tall? If you had to guess by your fashion, height and the fact you could see yourself and not Jotaro; well the dots were easy to connect.

- “Fuck, I’m you!” “No shit.” “Why the hell are you so god damn tall?” “That’s your issue?”

- “Ugh, suck my dick.” You groaned at his tone, already hating the situation. A guy was in your body and though you knew Jotaro wasn’t the shifty type, it was still uncomfortable to think about.

- “Don’t you mean my dick?”

- Ah, he shouldn’t have said that. The two of you both stared at each other in awkward silence, Jotaro visibly regretting what he had let slip and you, slowly starting to laugh. Your laughter was a strange sound seeing as it sounded way deeper than your original one. This must be what Jotaro sounded like when he laughed … it was nice.

- Jokingly, you wagged your brows, “does this mean you want me to whip it out?” If it wasn’t your face, you’d die of laughter at the distraught Jotaro showed, followed with a hint of fluster.

Noriaki Kakyoin

- “Now, don’t freak out,” Kakyoin tried to soothe, hands holding out to stop you from doing anything rash which didn’t work too well when even he was panicking internally. After all, the one he had to comfort had his face.

- “There’s no way I can’t, I’m… I’m you! You’re me!” Of all the times to be in a stand user’s way, why did it have to be this one ? And w h y did this weird strand of hair keep getting into your mouth?! Seriously, how does Kakyoin manage to look so cool with this pest in his face all the time?

- That wasn’t the only problem though, no. You just had to swap bodies with someone you not only thought of as cool and amazing, but freakishly handsome too. Yet you were convinced you were anything but that. Bending down, you took hold of the jacket on your body, one that Kakyoin’s mind was currently in. “What are you doing?” He asked with a confused look, watching you zip up the jacket which was horribly confusing since he had to watch his own hands fix a jacket that wasn’t even his own.

- “Zipping your- my jacket! Just don’t pay too much attention to me, ok? I’m such a mess,” you mumbled, fumbling with the zipper. Gah, you weren’t used to having such long and thin fingers. Kakyoin in return narrowed his brows, his temporarily smaller hands going over your’s.

- “Don’t start with that [First Name], you’re perfect the way you are. How we look is not our biggest problem anyways, we need to find that stand user and quick.” As much as you didn’t want to say it, he was right. You couldn’t focus on this, not when you didn’t know how permanent this situation could be. Nodding, you agreed.

- Kakyoin then smiled, a hand placing it’s self on your shoulder. [He died a little inside when he realised he had to go on his tip toes to do this.] “Come on, after all this I’ll treat us to something nice.”

Joseph Joestar

- “OH MY GO-” Joseph tried to yell but stopped abruptly when he realised how horribly strange it sounded in your voice. Of all the days you both agreed to team up, this had to be the one.

- While he was panicking in your body, you were staring at yourself in a mirror’s reflection, flexing your arm with an interested look. The way his muscles tensed and relaxed was way too good not to admire, not when his short sleeves left little to the imagination. Even for his age, this man seriously looked good and you couldn’t even try to hide that thought from him; so you didn’t. With a low whistle, you found a new pose to show off the Joestar’s muscles in, “not bad, old man. Guess you don’t skip gym day even on a retirement plan.”

- Joseph had to double take at your comment. “I’m not that old, and I sure as hell am not retiring anytime soon!” He argued, huffing before storming up to you and shoving you away from the mirror. Admittedly, he was pleasantly surprised by your praise to his physique and it really did get to his head, “you can stare all you want at my body later when we’re not facing serious danger, just get a move on now!”

- Raising a brow at the comment, you smirked to yourself as you watched your own body try to push the one you were in currently. Wonder how it felt for him. The guy would probably get a kick out of it if he just let him relax like you were. “Is that a promise? ‘Cause you can have front row tickets to your own show if you really want, Mr Joestar.” You cooed, dropping a formal title as though you weren’t suggesting something incredibly personal at all. At least it got a good reaction out of him, seeing as he paused his efforts to get you moving to stare at you with surprise. This then made you laugh, a gloved finger then moving to gently press his nose to pull him out of his dazed state. “Just kidding, pervert.”

- After that, you started to walk off ahead of him as he tried to collect his thoughts, his final reaction leaving him grumbling over what a damn tease you are and that there was no way he’d settle for the treatment you had just given him.

Mohammed Avdol

- Neither of you were too panicked by the situation thankfully, but there was still an awkwardness between you. Luckily, neither of you were the type to get too handsy and experimental with your comrade’s body so there was a strong bond of trust.

- “Doesn’t all this clothing get uncomfortable in the heat?” You questioned while on your search for the stand user, making a gesture to his body which was your’s for the time being. It was insanely hot and though you were sure you had a little bit of his endurance, the heat was agonising. “Even your stand uses fire! Doesn’t it bother you at all?”

- Avdol chuckled in response to that, his laugh not being nearly as satisfying and fun to hear as it sounded more like you than the man himself. Shaking his head, he answered casually, “I don’t mind much at all. I was raised in the heat and when you are brought up like that, you grow accustomed to it. Magician’s Red’s ability doesn’t affect me at all either, seeing as he is my stand.” He enjoyed answering your many questions you always seemed to have for him, it made him feel wise and secretly savoured every second the two of you spent alone together. Not only were you good company, but you were deeply treasured in his heart. That was something for another day however.

- “Really?” You were surprised that he could stand this at all. It was already becoming bothersome for you. Instinctively, you took a hold of the bottom of his shirt and pulled it forwards and backwards to make some air flow across your stomach and chest. While doing so, you looked down for a split second to really take in the fact that you were in a whole other person’s body and your breath hitched at the short glimpse you had of his chest. You knew this man was healthy but you had no idea he was that fit. Wasn’t he like a semi-pacifist sorta guy?!

- Your sudden silence had concerned Avdol, leading him to questioning you. “Are you alright, [First Name]?” He was too much of a sweetheart to be real. You forced a smile and nodded, humming a happy reply. The best you could do really when you were too ashamed and surprised that you had seen the body of a god.

- “Yeah I’m alright! Just checking out the hot body I mean weather! It’s like… really hot. So let’s find the stand user soon so I can feel cool again, haha!” Totally played it off well. Avdol seemed skeptical but he moved on, nodding in agreement with a determined look. You two really did have a goal to complete and fast.

- Even so, he knew what you had done and found it incredibly adorable how worked up it had got you.

Jean Pierre Polnareff

- The moment the shock of your minds switching bodies had subsided, Polanreff’s prioritises had gotten a little jumbled. His arms wrapped around his body, which really meant your’s, caressing each curve and swayed side to side with a dreamy expression. In fairness, he did feel like he was in a dream. He was in your body! It was so soft and perfect and whooo, did he mention soft? This chest was made for loving and supporting a head, and Polnareff was seriously looking for a pillow.

- “Ma cherie, you’re just so gorgeous! You’re so wicked to have kept this from me all this time,” he exaggeratedly complained while his hands still roamed his new, greatly admired body. You on the other hand, were a blushing mess who was trying to get him to stop.

- “Polnareff, please! We need to get going,” you insisted, trying to pull his arms away as you shut your eyes tight to avoid seeing his actions. One pro side of being in his body was adopting his incredible strength.

- “Ah, oui, we shall go! But please, I need to let you know there is no way I can pass up on admiring this.” Oh please someone stop him now. “I mean, have you seen this rump?” Almost screeching, you slapped a hand over his lips and shook your head quickly with a stressed look. You were going to die of shame before any of Dio’s henchmen or women would even get to your first.

- He stared up at you with confusion before finally letting it sink in just how crude he was being. It wasn’t like he whole heartedly meant to! He just really appreciated your appearance. “Sorry cherie, I suppose I went to far, hm? I just couldn’t help myself.”

- You, unable to stay mad at the french man for longer than even a day, sighed and waved it off, knowing he meant no real harm. “It’s alright but please, we really should try and find a way to revert to our original bodies.”

- “Of course!” He enthusiastically agreed, taking a hold of your hand before starting to march off to whatever direction he so needed to go to - meaning, a random one he picked and prayed for the best. “There’s no way I can truly engross myself with your perfections from a first person’s perspective! As soon as we’re in our bodies, you’ll be showing me everything, cherie!”

- Honestly, you were a little excited by that.

Iggy

- “AAAAAH.” “woof.” “AAAAH” “wOOF?!” “AAAAAA-” “WOOOOO-”

- mother fucker you are a dOG.

#jjba x reader #request #Jean Pierre Polnareff #polnareff x reader #Jotaro Kujo #jotaro x reader #Joseph Joestar #joseph joestar x reader #oldseph #muhammad avdol #avdol x reader #kakyoin x reader #noriaki kakyoin #iggy

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hinaaspanda · 4 years ago

Text

...and they were (more than) roommates! | njm

Pairing: Campus Pretty Boy + Roommate! Jaemin x Dancer! Reader

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 9576

Your easily distracted mind had made it maddeningly clear; no song, no matter what the tempo or melody, could take your mind off of your one and only roommate, Na Jaemin.

a/n; hi! for this fic i tried adding my own oc (Hina) just to spice things up!! lol totally not to insert myself as jenos love interest or anything ahaha anyways please enjoy!

Huang Renjun never thought that breaking off one college relationship would be so detrimental to your heart.

It really was such a small relationship, just one month of innocent pecks on the cheeks in between classes, weekend dinner dates, and trips around the city on your breaks. It was such a minute thing, yet your heart couldn’t get enough. You grew invested, never wanting to let go. Becoming dependent on mere goodbye kisses. And after one month of being together, you were stuck watching him drift away, fingers intertwined with that of someone new. Now, of course, one question remained; if it was such a short relationship, why in the world did it hurt your heart so much?

You sat under the brisk afternoon sunlight, gnawing at the cafeteria food as your campus friends began bickering over god knows what. You tune out the ruckus before you, your mind wandering like a lost child between the aisles of a supermarket. An image of him swims into your mind as you curse under your breath. It didn’t matter how healthy your break up was, or how put together your persona must’ve seemed. The only thing you wanted was to be in Renjun’s arms once again.

Suddenly, you felt the stares of a concerned Hina and Shotaro burning through you. Your shoulders shivering at the sudden thrust into the spotlight. Was your thinking face that miserable-looking? You sent a half-assed chuckle in the hopes of diverting their attention.

“Is something wrong-”

“You were thinking about him again, weren’t you?” Your childhood friend, Hina, began rather harshly, throwing off your more laid-back classmate, Shotaro. “About Renjun?”

The soda that slid down your throat almost shot out of your lips, straight into the air as Hina stared you down, interrogating you. How obvious were you? You pondered for a little bit, your eyes now meeting Hina’s and Shotaro’s concerned ones. You couldn’t defy the truth to your overly caring friends, even if you tried. “...Yeah. I was.”

The somber air around you thickened with each passing minute as you finished off your lunch for the day. You wince, fearing your friends would, out of disappointment in your inability to shut up about your failed love life, cut ties with you right then and there. You wouldn’t blame them, though. Even you were starting to get tired of your weak, measly heart. Shotaro breaks the silence, a sweet grin plastered on his face.

“Don’t worry about it, y/n! You just need to find something to get your mind off of him!” Shotaro chirps, his upbeat demeanor infecting Hina beside him. Hina continues, a grin now lining her lips.

“How about another date? With someone new!”

You almost scoff out loud. “Another date?”

The bold figure of Hina crossed her arms in disbelief. “There are other guys out there, y/n. What about your roommate? Isn’t he single?.”

“My roommate? No! We’re just friends, nothing else!” You quickly retort, waving your hands in a very strong denial. Hina’s head tilted in persuasion.

“You’ll never know until you try, y/n.” Your head hung low as you let out the fifth sigh that day. You loved Hina, you truly did, but with these outlandish ideas protruding from her head, you were convinced she was going crazy.

...

“What? You gonna chicken out or something?” Donghyuck scoffed through a disgusting amount of food stuffed in his mouth. “You’re telling me the campus hottie’s too scared to go on a date?” Jaemin’s eyes sent nothing but death threats to the aggravating college student, sipping on the vending machine drink destructive to his health. He was offended, to say the least. Offended at how inaccurate his so called ‘friend’ was being, anyways.

Na Jaemin had it all. A decent fashion sense, heavenly proportions, good grades and work ethic. A face most people would classify as attractive, and a bright, luring smile to tie it all together. Some say he was the whole package, driving the women of the campus insane as they line up to get a simple glimpse of the school’s resident hottie. He was the campus pretty boy, but one question remained; why was he still single?

It’s been theorized by many, some believing in his virtuous desire to focus on his studies, while others believe he might just swing another way or simply not interested in the idea of romance. But one thing stayed true, Na Jaemin was not some coward who couldn’t get a date.

The pretty boy sat before his set of now intrigued college friends, Donghyuck, Jeno, and Yangyang, all riddled with such an irritating curiosity it made Jaemin cringe. It was only Tuesday, Jaemin had a tower of school work waiting for him back at home, and the last thing he needed was three idiots challenging his love life. He reached for another sip of his drink, cursing at lack of said drink in the can.

“Don’t be stupid, Hyuck. I could get a girl if I wanted to. I’m just...busy right now, with schoolwork and stuff”

“Oh really?” Donghyuck’s sly voice ticked a flame in Jaemin’s soul. He huffed out a disbelieving scoff as he leaned back on the cheap, plastic chair. Was he really doubting him? He quite literally had the entire female population of the school at his grasp, and Donghyuck was doubting him? Lee Donghyuck was bound to eat his words, as gross as a child to their ice cream.

“Yeah, I can get any girl around here, just watch. And if I don’t?” Jaemin’s eyes scour around, searching for a way out another stupid idea before finally landing on the trash pile that was Yangyang’s homework. “...I’ll do your guy’s homework for a week.”

Everyone’s eyes widened at Jaemin’s proposal, a proposal that stunted even the slyest of prankers, Lee Donghyuck himself. Was he really going all out? Sacrificing a week of freetime for some measly bet? Even stupefying the once unbothered Jeno, trapped in his own, unexpectedly unfortunate love life.

“Dude are you serious? Deal!” Donghyuck and Yangyang practically hollered, both sending Jaemin a crisp slap on the back. Na Jaemin, how much of an idiot are you?

“So, who do you think you're gonna go for?” Jeno gripped the strap of his school bag as him and Jaemin trotted away from their final class of the day. Jaemin huffed out what felt like the 100th sigh that afternoon. His eyes grazing the trees peeking through the campus windows. Surely he needed a plan, right? No matter how many girls relished in his good looks, he wouldn’t possibly survive without one. Jaemin’s palms grew cold, pupils shaking in a sudden fear. God, maybe he would be stuck writing Yangyang’s overdue essays for the next week.

“What about that y/n girl?” Jeno suddenly chirped. “The quiet one from the dance department?”

Jaemin froze in his tracks, looking synonymous to a deer caught in headlights. He tilted his head, puzzled, to say the least. “...y/n?”

“Yeah, I heard she got out of a relationship recently.”

Jaemin’s once boastful voice soon grew into a stuttering mess as Jeno walked past him, sending a heartwarming chuckle. Jeno turned around, giving one final look to Jaemin, currently bathing underneath the small snippets of evening sunlight.

“It’s just something to think about, Jaem. Don’t worry about it too much.”

...

Your legs were anything but stable as you stepped off the city bus that night. You loved to dance, but you wouldn’t be lying if you said it drained you faster than a mosquito sucking out your blood. The mustard streetlight effortlessly cascaded off of your frame as your wobbly figure began its long trek to your apartment. Sudden buzzes from your phone shook you awake一a sensation your exhausted self clearly needed一before you clicked on the notification.

Roomie :) [7:34pm]: I bought us some dinner before I got home

Roomie :) [7:34pm]: sorry it’s frozen pizza lol I’m too poor :((

Roomie :) [7:36pm]: oh also I got a favour to ask when u get here

Your mind trails back to lunch, with a familiar phrase replaying in your head for the umpteenth time that day.

How about another date? With someone new?

You huffed out another somber sigh, something you found yourself doing a lot, lately. Could you really do it? Could you finally let go of the dead weight? Finally free yourself of the heartbreak tainting you? You feel your heart clenching inside you as you fumble with your house keys. Could your heart handle another simple date?

What about your roommate? Isn’t he single?

No, your roommate didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve being bombarded with the atrocity that was your failed love life. He was too sweet, too caring to deal with anything of the sort. Besides, with how gentle and pleasant he is, it was certain you didn’t deserve him.

This wouldn’t have been the first time you held your roommate in such high regard. He really had it all, a kind personality, decent looks, and an exquisite taste in cheap, diabetes inducing food. He knew all the best coffee places and knew the perfect times to surprise you with your favorite drinks. He wasn’t just some rando who split the rent with you. He was your friend. A sudden rush of unwanted blood heats up your cheeks as you stop in your tracks.

He was your friend. Nothing more.

The golden light of your apartment blinded you as you strolled in. The figure of your roommate was cast before you, dawning his classic ivory shirt and grey sweatpants, paired perfectly with his undone hair, and a plate of steaming hot pizza, straight from the microwave. It looked nothing like the pretty boy image he left your apartment with before class this morning. It was surreal, really. Only you got the luxury to see him like this. It was one of the strange perks of being roommates with the one and only, Na Jaemin.

“Welcome home!” Jaemin chirped to your sleepy figure. He thrusted the plate of pizza to you, a smile wiped across his cheeks. “Pizza?”

...

Your heart almost leaped out of your chest.

Your trembling, sweaty palms couldn’t stop shaking since dinner, almost breaking one of your scarce dinner plates in the process of washing them. You couldn’t blame yourself, though. Na Jaemin’s proposal was nothing but calming.

“So, what were you gonna ask me, anyways?” You spat through your mouth full of rubbery pizza. God, you need to eat properly before practice. You glanced at our roommate, currently fiddling with the tips of some miscellaneous fork as he suddenly dodged your eyes.

“Uh, yea, that.” He stuttered. So timid, it was unreal to you. Usually this man had no fear of asking for favours. Whether it was doing his laundry or fixing up dinner on his assigned day of the week, he would never show any hesitation on asking you to do anything.

“Okay this is gonna sound weird, but…” Jaemin started, breaking into a cold sweat. “I need you to go on a fake date with me.” Jaemin finally exhaled before connecting his eyes with yours. The whites of your eyes spilled out, along with the juice that almost had the chance of successfully slipping down your throat. He wanted... what?

“Don’t worry! It’s just gonna be one date! I made this stupid bet with Hyuck, and if I don’t get a date soon, I need to do their homework for a whole week!” He gripped the locks of his hair as he slumped onto his side of the dining table.

You shuffled back to the dining room, clenching your paper towel tightly in your palm. Anything to help calm your rapid heart down, just for a moment. “And, you can use this as a chance to distract yourself from that Renjun asshole.”

A sudden pain struck your chest like a lightning bolt to a lanky tree, barren in a grassland. You wince at the sudden calling of that name, your taste buds growing sour. You let out another soft sigh. You really need to get over him, fast. You stretch up from your seat, hoisting up the now empty dinner plate as you trudge towards the sink. But not before stopping in your tracks, tilting your head in Jaemin’s direction.

“I-uh-I’ll think about it.”

Oh, you thought about it, alright. Screamed into your poor, innocent pillow about it, at least.

It all zoomed too fast for you, too swift for your brain to handle. Your breathing grew short and shallow. You felt as if you could die, right then and there, gripping onto your bed sheets while freaking out about Na Jaemin, your bold roommate. No, you couldn’t take up his risque offer. You were in no shape to go on another date, even if it did have no actual meaning behind it. You were too tangled in your mess of a life, and this stupid move would only fan the fire.

You can use this as a chance to distract yourself from Renjun.

The phrase rang through your head more time than you would’ve liked. No matter how much you shielded yourself from his claim, Jaemin would still be right in that manner. You needed to distract yourself, sure. But was this the way to go?

Another sigh escapes your lips as you rush down the hall of your apartment. Your steps, hesitant as ever, dripping in a mix of confusion, exhaustion and nervousness. It’s official. You are the worst at well thought-out decisions.

“Hey” you huffed at your roommate, eyeing him timidly as he washes the dishes. Something your shaken figure couldn’t properly complete without breaking a glass that night. He shifts to face you, a slightly nervous expression painting him. You clear your throat before continuing, hoping that small cough would stop time in its tracks.

“I-I’ll go on that date with you.”

His classic boisterous smile spreads across his face once again. If your mind wasn’t rushing around in four different places at once, you could probably admit that you found it the slightest bit cute.

“Really? Thanks so much! How does this Saturday at 7 sound?”

You only had the mental energy to swiftly nod your head as you zoomed back into the confines of your room, your safe space. You couldn’t help but notice the heat rising back to your cheeks as you plopped back onto the bed, vigorously scrolling through your phone to find your saviours.

the gorls and shotaro [9:48pm]: guys I need help with something

the gorls and shotaro [9:49pm]: let’s meet at hina’s after class

...

“I don’t care if you’re just going on some fake date to lie to his friends, I still wanna make you look hot!” Hina never failed to leave you, Shotaro, and probably some people passing by her house, shaken by her booming voice. With her small, fragile looking frame, she was the last one you’d expect to have such a bold personality.

“Please, that’s the fifth dress in your closet she’s tried already. It’s just a fake date, we don’t even need to try hard!” Shotaro challenges, his attention leaving a now grumbling Hina as it turns towards you. “Why did you even say yes, anyways?”

“I dunno, I’m stupid?” You murmur, the hint of bitterness caught in your breath. You give a subpar twirl to your audience, a deadpan expression shielding your face. “I guess I wanna help him? It would suck to do all that homework for a week.”

“Yeah, but he could easily ask any other girl on the campus. This is freaking Na Jaemin we’re talking about!” Hina once again hollered. An action that would guarantee her a slap on the head if you didn’t love her so much.

“Are you sure it's just for that stupid bet?”

You slip into the makeshift change room, which was really just blankets hung on coat hangers, propped across two sides of a corner in Hina’s room. After making your final decision for your outfit of the night, you change back into your own clothes, stalling your response to Hina’s question. You never knew why you felt the need to stall, though. You should know your answer by now, right?

“Yeah, it’s just for the bet, nothing else.” You find your voice trailing off at those last words of yours as you emerge from the corner, holding the destined outfit that made the cut. Hina sighed, plopping onto the bed like the main character of those dramas after they finally find out they’re in love.

“Just make sure you aren’t lying to yourself, y/n. It could hurt you.”

“Oh really? Isn’t it time you listen to your own advice??” Shotaro provoked, Hina now shooting up from the bed in irritation. “How are things going with that Jeno guy, huh?”

“I am going to murder you.” Hina’s voice stayed low, barely trembling before zooming through the door, chasing a now escaping Shotaro and his incredibly fast feet. You, however, couldn’t pray for Shotaro’s survival. Not with your mind stuck in it’s own rut, and your cheeks now glowing a violent pink.

This was just for a bet, nothing else. You reminded yourself once again.

...

“This wasn’t too bad, right?” His soothing voice swam through your ears softly, but it did absolutely nothing to calm down your heart, which was currently pacing anywhere but your chest. You mustered up all the courage in the world to glance back at his eyes across the restaurant table, your breaths stopping in an effort to hide the sudden rush of blood flowing to your cheeks. With his unbothered eyes locking onto yours in an instant, Na Jaemin sent you another one of his heartache-inducing smiles. “Thanks for helping me with this.”

This shouldn’t be affecting you this much. After all, the only thing you and Jaemin really did was sit under the restaurant roof, order dishes deemed perfect under the social media lens, and take pictures with said dishes, becoming the perfect pieces of evidence to show that Na Jaemin was no coward. However, with the romantic, first date type outfit draped onto your figure, and the general ambience of the room, you couldn’t help but feel just the slightest bit flustered. You shot him another smile, one hiding the forest fire that was your mental state. “Uh, yeah! No problem!”

Silence fell over the two of you as you listened to the clinks of glass sounding off from the dishwashing station behind you. A silence that you wanted to hold onto more than anything. But alas, Your roommate breaks it, glancing up from the ground.

“You look great, by the way.”

Your cheeks flush a deep vermillion. They’ve been doing that a lot lately.

“Thanks, Jaem.” You barely muster out, dodging his eyes. “But you don’t have to say stuff like that, this is all fake, remember?” You took the time to remind him, not fully sure who truly needed it. You fiddled with your fingers as your ears picked up the sudden ruckus of obnoxious college students coming from down the dining hall.

“You should ask her out, Jeno!” a voice chirped

“No! Are you crazy? She probably thinks I’m weird or something”

“I doubt it, you’re hot! Plus, she’s in my department! I can alway ask-”

“Guys, quick, look! Over there!”

The voices grew closer and closer, the whites of your eyes spilling more and more in utter shock. You can’t help but check on Jaemin, the same expression now burning through you. You mirrored each other so much, you could tell the exact words running through his mind right now. Mostly because they ran through yours, too. Oh Shit.

“JAEMIN!!” The voice of an irritating Lee Donghyuck rang through your ears at an alarming, and unwanted rate. The hollers of an equally aggravating Liu Yangyang from Jaemin’s class, swiftly followed, leaving behind the only tolerable one, Lee Jeno behind. “I didn’t know you’d be here!”

“Ahaha, hey!” Jaemin stuttered, panic overflowing in his eyes as the three intruders squished into the already occupied, two person booth. His eyes scanned the restaurant, grasping for any way to escape. Afterall, this was certainly not part of the plan. Donghyuck’s curious eyes scanned, too, his pupils finally focusing on you. “And who might this be?”

“I-I’m y/n” You stuttered out, your wrist feeling heavy as you began gesturing to the date in front of you. “I’m his da-”

A lightbulb jumped from Jaemin’s head, his shoulder jolting in response. Na Jaemin wasn’t one for outlandish pranks, especially if you were at the receiving end, which only made your thumping heart wonder; what the hell was he trying to pull now?

“She’s my date.”

Suddenly, your once isolated and vacant hand was tugged to the center of the dinner table before softly getting encased in his. His fingers, notably bigger than your nimble ones, interlocked with yours. Heat began to creep up at your ears. Who knew your hand fit so perfectly in his? You looked down, foolishly hoping that your cheeks would stop flushing into that embarrassing red if you hid it well enough. “See?”

“Oh!” Donghyuck lined his lips with a stupid grin, his eyebrows wiggling as he scoffs in disbelief. Yangyang riled up with excitement beside him, and even the calm Jeno couldn’t stop his jaw from falling to the floor. Na Jaemin did it. He really pulled it off. “I guess we’re disturbing something, then?”

“No worries! We were just about to leave, anyways” Jaemin still held onto that panicked tremble in his voice as the two of you shuffled through the restaurant booth. He stalked behind you before handing you your coat. “See you guys tomorrow!”

Your mind couldn’t help but focus on the light touch Jaemin’s palm left on the lower, small of your back as he gently escorted you from the restaurant. You felt like a princess, protected by your knight’s brute strength, as you tiptoed on your path of feathers. That darned flushed heat wouldn’t leave your cheeks. Na Jaemin, your one and only roommate, was driving you crazy.

The wind roughly brushes against your cheek as the two of you finally exit the restaurant. The breeze was the last thing you would’ve classified as comfortable, which was why you felt just the slightest twinge of disappointment once the warmth of his hand snaked away from you. His palm hugged the nape of his neck as his eyes softened from their former panic.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t know they’d show up so randomly.”

No, he had nothing to apologize for. It was your fault for being so greedy. You instinctively widen the distance between you, saving yourself from a wave of embarrassment.

“It’s fine.”

It’s official, you hated your weak heart more than anyone.

...

Three. There were three instances in which your heart was set on fire the next day, by none other than the infamous Na Jaemin, of course.

[10:49 am]

A violent GAME OVER! blasted through your ear drums as you slumped on the couch, watching your roommate die for the 70th time that evening. He let out an equally jolting groan, throwing the controller to the depths of your living room carpet before rushing to check if it was okay. You sat promptly on the couch he leaned against, mindlessly scrolling through your phone as if last night you didn’t experience the most heart-collapsing date in the 19 years of your life.

Your heart still hasn’t properly healed from it, either. Every time you pass by him in the halls, whether it be a quick snack or a glass of water, your heart never fails to tense up, your throat tightening up in a cruel response. You swear, Na Jaemin was out for your blood the moment he asked you to stay in the living room with him, even if it was to simply watch him fail play.

“Aw fuck me!” Jaemin suddenly blurted out as he examined the now loosened control button. As if on cue, an army of redness storms through your cheeks as you listen in, his simple word choice setting you off. Your head shakes vigorously enough to give you a pounding headache, before you get the chance to fill your head with certain spoiled thoughts. Wow, you really are evil.

You didn’t spare him the explanation for your sudden departure from the living room couch. All you knew was that your mind and heart were running haywire, and the only thing that could stop you from thinking about your roommate as anything but your roommate was a deep rethinking of your own morals beside your castle of stuffed animals.

[2:45 pm]

“Here, I’ll get that for you.” Jaemin’s towering figure shielded your back from the apartment kitchen as he stretched over, retrieving the ranging dish your pitiful frame couldn’t reach. He closed the air between you, his extended chest grazing your shoulder as you stood frozen, your mouth gaping open. He sends you a playful grin as he hands you the plate. “You should try growing a little more, y/n!”

You were too stuck in your questionable haze to tighten your grip on the glass plate, so it was only natural to feel the glass slip through your fingers, shards of the crisp material scattering around your bare feet. Frightened, Jaemin scurried below you, the gentleness of his fingers as he picks up each shard of glass sending butterflies to your stomach.

“Oh my god! Y/n, are you alright!?” You wanted to scoff at his face. Of course you weren’t.

“Uh, yeah. I’m okay.”

He glances up from below you, his fingers circling the new scratch on your foot that only surfaced from your astound clumsiness.

“Be careful next time, alright?”

You nod hesitantly, staying frozen as Jaemin swiftly works around you; throwing out the dangerous glass shards, running away to retrieve your first aid kit, and patching up your pathetic wound in what felt like one swift heartbeat. God, how pathetic were you?

[8:22 pm]

“Have you seen my hoodie? The blue one?” Jaemin showed no mercy to your innocent door as it swung straight into the wall beside it. You let out an award-winning shriek, your once calm figure jumping from its curled up position. “I think it’s in your laundry bin.”

What he actually had on was...minimal. Nothing but tousled, damp hair and a white towel hooked around his waist. You would let out another shriek if you wanted to, but the lack of air reaching your lungs, all from the utter shock of a half-naked Na Jaemin in your wake, stopped you from spitting out any kind of noise imaginable. You dig your fingernails into the flesh of your poor teddy bear as you shield your eyes from your door frame.

“Gahh! What are you doing?”

“Huh? Oh.” It finally clicked in his mind that his current appearance was not for the faint of heart. Not for yours, at least. You let out another ear- piercing wail. “Put on a shirt already!!”

Jaemin let out a boastful, childish laugh. He leaned over, digging for your eyes, which were currently finding anything else to lay their attention on. “What, are you getting flustered?”

Your eyes finally meet up with his as he keeps you hostage with his stare. A familiar heat storms up your cheeks for the millionth time that evening as you grip the limb of another one of your stuffies on standby. With one final whine, you chuck the plush at his direction. Your lack of looking back all in an effort to hide your glowing red face, out for revenge. “Get out!”

“You’re so cute, y/n.” Jaemin teasingly hums as he slips out of your door frame. You let out an exhausted huff, your chest loosening so much, you’re convinced you haven’t been properly breathing before then.

Na Jaemin will seriously be the death of you.

...

You knew it was cowardly, but you just had to run away. Your weak heart wouldn’t be able to survive otherwise.

You wisp into the barren walls of the dance studio, the flickering lights blinding your vision as you switch them on. You shuffle to the corner of the room, dropping your bag before fumbling with the music station. A soothing song swims through your ears as you settle down in the center of the room, an eye keeping watch of your posture. You close your eyes. Maybe this will finally calm your heart down.

You start slowly, an arm traveling artistically through the air as your legs twirl around the floor. The melody of the music carries your limbs away, leaving your mind alone to think.

They were just simple interactions, a simple slip up ending with a broken dish, a simple choice of words, a simple clasp of the hands to keep up with some measly lie. They were such small things, so why did your heart light up in flames everytime? Why did each instance leave a staining image of Jaemin in your mind, everytime?

You think back to the man that held your heart, before brutally smashing it with his own fist. Huang Renjun. He hasn’t grazed your mind for quite some time now, but this familiar feeling wasn’t exactly pleasurable. Your heart soaked itself in that same lonely feeling, the desire to cling back. You froze from your dance, expecting full well your mind would submerge in a pool of sorrow. Yet, this week was just full of surprises, wasn’t it?

Another image of your horrid roommate flies into your mind, your head mentally swatting it away like a pestering insect. Nonetheless, it’s trailed back, persistent as ever, as you grumble your way to turn off the music. Na Jaemin, wins again.

You could admit, Jaemin kept his promise at shielding your mind away from your failing love life, but he never warned you about the repercussions that were of him seeping into a corner of your heart. His risque, almost flirty behaviour, his teasing remarks, a smile that would brighten up a barren world. He just wouldn’t leave your mind. Yet, you knew you couldn’t have him. If your forest fire of a romance with Renjun had taught you anything, it was that you couldn’t love. You were too clueless, too childish to properly hold someone’s heart. You didn’t deserve anyone’s love.

After gathering your belongings, you trek out the door. You were so lost in your thoughts, not even the thing you held to your heart so dearly, dancing, could pull you out of your rut. You were in no state to go back home just yet, so your fingers trace your phone screen to look for Hina, your resident childhood friend and therapist, apparently. And you wished you had the luxury of plopping onto Hina’s bed, screaming out all your anger into her pillow as she sneaks snacks up to her room, but your horrid life had other plans.

A familiar figure stop’s in their tracks, their bag swaying in their grasp一a grasp that was almost loosened in pure shock一 as they connect their eyes to yours. You stay frozen, your breath hitching as you search for anything to say. And by the looks of it, they were doing the same.

“Y-y/n?” The voice of a flabbergasted Huang Renjun rings through your ear. “W-what are you doing here?”

...

It didn’t take Jaemin long to realize you had left early that morning. Your dance bag left an awkward space beside your night stand in its absence, the dish drying rack was already occupied, with one simple plate and a glass turned over. But more importantly, Jaemin woke up with an empty, lost feeling rumbling inside him一something he only felt when you weren’t around.

It first occurred during the third week of splitting rent, when you joined the school’s dance team. You had left the room without a trace, leaving Jaemin to search for you like a lost puppy to its reluctant owner, instead of getting ready for his afternoon class. He tried his best to brush it off as simple boredom, but with the way his vision simply lights up in your presence, even he started to get suspicious of himself.

He couldn’t quite pinpoint it at first, the very reason you always trailed in his mind. It could have been anything. Your immense amount of talent, the wisp of anonymity that surrounded you, one he strived to break to get to know you better. The angelic personality he was first greeted with once he did break down that barrier. Anything about you could’ve easily pulled his heart closer to you. He was in love.

Nevertheless, he clearly wasn’t obvious enough, as within weeks of beginning your college career, your figure was cradled in the arms of another man. Huang Renjun, resident A+ student and Jaemin’s childhood classmate.

As the days pass by, and he becomes bombarded with endless homework, the two of you slowly drift apart, returning to the simple ‘roommate’ label on your contact lists. He resorts to the abundance of girls around the campus. Hoping each one he’d fool around with could finally get his head away from you. Yet, as he always comes home just to see your face, so did his heart, apparently.

Don’t get him wrong, he felt terrible the night you trudged home in tears, the fresh sadness of a break up welling through you. And he tried everything in his power to make you feel better, though it never worked. But一 and he would rather kill a man than ever let this slip from his tongue一he couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit relieved that you were finally in his grasp once again.

“So, how serious are you? About her?” Jeno quizzed through the phone, a now distressed Na Jaemin on the other side of the line. Jaemin fell onto the bed, dust particles jumping into the air.

“I really like her” Jaemin huffed.

“So? Then go tell her! You should be with her, not here blabbering about her to me. Look, you don’t have anything to worry about, Jaem. It’s not like she’s in a relationship anymore.”

Jaemin's eyes widen and Jeno’s nonchalant words. That's right. You weren’t taken anymore. Not trapped in the confines of another man’s arms. It was what he was fighting for, all those months ago. Na Jaemin finally had a shot with you.

“Are you sure you like her?” Jeno pulled Jaemin back to reality as Jaemin scrambled to the bathroom. He placed the device down on the bathroom sink, his eyes locking in with his reflection from the bathroom mirror. “Yeah.”

He chuckled to himself before ending the call, an image of you rolling into his mind. ‘Like’ would be a deep understatement. He was in love, has been for months now, and he was finally ready to tell the truth. He probably looked like a little kid hungry for ice cream, but he didn’t care. He paced out the door. He was going to finally have you, once and for all.

...

“She and I are good, yeah.” Renjun stuttered out, not looking past the drink he hastily purchased before the two of you sat down in the campus cafe. “What about you? How have you been?”

With all your might, you stopped your throat from belting out a petty laugh. How have you been? Was he being serious? You’ve been pleasant, aside from all the inner turmoil ringing through your heart at the moment. You sent a bogus smile at the man in front of you. “I’ve been...alright.”

The awkward silence suffocated you, squeezing your throat so tight, not a single sliver of air could slip through. Why did he come across you now of all times? And why did he have to be so much more emotionally sound than you were? Renjun shifted around, clearing his chest with a small ahem! You knew he was always a man who would never beat around the bush, and today was no exception.

“I’m sorry…” His sudden confession shook you to your core, the liquid inside your glass mimicking your shivering movements. Your eyes, out of pure shock, finally take the courage to graze across Renjun as he continues. “I’m sorry for leaving you like that, I know I didn’t give you that much of an explanation back then.”

Your eyes retire back to the wooden table in front of you. He didn’t need to apologize. He didn’t need to explain himself at all, not when your greedy heart was at fault. “I knew I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I wasn’t enough for you.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Renjun.” You were having enough trouble forgetting him as it is, you didn’t need this.

“I didn’t wanna lie to myself, so that’s why I left you so abruptly like that.” He explains, his fingers turning white from his grip on the coffee cup. Your breaths grow short, your mind scurrying to find the hidden meaning behind his words. All this time, your mind retired to the idea of him running away from your clinging figure, claiming that now rash narrative as valid; correct. Tearing your heart up into little pieces in the process.

“So we didn’t break up because I was being...selfish?”

“Selfish? Of course not.” He comforted. “You deserve someone else, someone way better than me.”

Your mind trails back to your roommate once again, his smile growing more contagious. You find your lips sneaking in a small smile at the thought of him. Except, this time, no twinge of sorrow had followed. Like a bag of bricks lifted off your shoulders, you were finally free. You shined a genuine grin, your first in a long while. “So, we’re good?”

“Of course, y/n.”

You were so trapped in your own childish thoughts, you didn’t notice the hasty booming steps crash through the cafe door frame.

“Y/N!” The voice of your roommate flew through your ears, striking you like a deer caught in blinding headlights. His volume was so loud, you wouldn’t be surprised if someone heard him from the outside of the cafe. “I’ve been looking all over for you!”

...

Usually, Na Jaemin was laid back. Generally unbothered with a smirk lining his lips every now and then. It was one of the ways he stayed on top of the collective campus hierarchy for so long, he was always calm, cool, and collected. He always was, except for today. Instead, he was scrambling at his feet, thumbing through every inch of the school, looking for the infamous y/n.

He finally skips to the cafe, the faint scent of coffee and flavouring overtaking him. He was a panting mess, his hands gripping at the bolts of his knees as he leaned over in pure exhaustion. It was weird, Jaemin always considered himself to be decently fit. It must’ve been you, suddenly turning his world upside down.

She’s gotta be here.

As if on cue, your head pops up on the corner of his eye, basking under the afternoon sunlight which generously seeped through the cafe window. Your eyes weren’t on him, but that wasn’t the worst of his problems. His eyes travel further down your direction, his limp legs mindlessly following like a puppet on two strings. Your eyes weren’t on Jaemin. They were on someone else.

Renjun.

A familiar clenching feeling pulls on his heart harshly, so much so, that his hands reach up to palm the pain through his chest. He’s only felt this rude awakening one other time in the 19 years of his life; the moment you left the house on your first ever date with Huang Renjun. A flame ignites within him as he stalks up to the table. With his heaving breaths and awkward, stiff posture, it was inevitable he'd summon a couple of stares from various customers, but he couldn’t care less.

Usually, Na Jaemin was laid back, but because of you, he became this gross, jealous, poor excuse of a man.

“You didn’t have to be so loud, you know!” You found your voice peaking at the end of your sentence, probably gathering more attention than what you were currently lecturing Jaemin for. A blush stained the circles of your cheeks, though you were never quite sure whether it was the embarrassment of being the center of attention, or the fact that Na Jaemin came rushed and disheveled, looking for you. You cleared your throat to hide your obscene thoughts一a practice you’ve been getting the hang of, lately. “What did you need from me anyway-”

“Why were you with him.” Jaemin cut in. Although, with his stone cold frame now towering over you, his eyes; unassuming and distant, and shallow, hitched breaths, you weren’t even certain this was the same roommate you couldn’t get out of your head for the past week. You simply wave your hand away.

“We just happened to meet up by accident, and we got to talk some stuff out, that's all.” You prayed that your calm voice could soothe the currently tempered man before you. Of course, however, it didn’t.

“Was it really?”

“Yes! Okay, Jaem? What’s with you today?”

“Don’t visit him anymore.” His voice boomed towards the end of his sentences, startling even the finest of nature as two innocent birds fly away in fear.

Something didn’t click, didn’t sit right in your head. Since when was he so demanding? So rude? You found yourself slowly backing away from his figure, an action you thought you’d have to do in your life. Before, he was always a safe space for you, even without your confusing feelings for him. He was always there for you. But now, the air around turned gray, and you were scared more than anything. You scoff, throwing Jaemin off.

“Are you telling me what to do?”

“I’m only worried for you, y/n.”

“Worried about what, exactly? That I’d get back with Renjun?” You stand firm before him. Y/n, what the hell are you doing now. To your own dismay, you continue. “Why would you care about that anyways?”

“Am I not allowed to care about you!?” He practically hollered at the top of his lungs. A fire welled up inside you, with no way of fanning it down. Who does this guy think he is?

“Last time I checked, we didn’t have anything real! Everything between us was all a damn lie! So no, maybe you don’t!”

You lay one final blow straight to Jaemin’s chest, knocking him down like a line of concurred dominoes. Your heart clenches in a cruel response. You were right, factually correct, but the truth always came with a price. Spectators began to crowd around the scene, as a fuming Jaemin stalks towards you, closing the distance between your shoulder blades and brick wall behind you.

“WELL MAYBE I WANTED SOMETHING REAL!” Jaemin retorted, eyes holding a flame you never thought your calm roommate could ignite within him. The air around you grew cautious, the only things sounding off were the weary engines driving past the scene of the crime. His breath grew shallow as it brushed against your skin, your trembling figure watching as he let out an aggravated sigh. His fingers, laced in irritation, comb through his hair as he softens his voice into one final whisper.

“But you don’t want anything like that, right? ‘Cause you’re still caught up with that Renjun asshole?”

“Jae-”

“Forget it” Jaemin spits, his eyes finally dodging yours. He backs away from your trembling figure, his hands buried in his pockets as he quickened his pace away from you. Jaemin hissed under his breath, everything finally clearing up in his head. You didn’t want him, You were never ready to move on. It’s official, Na Jaemin couldn’t have you, and he never will.

...

Your brain always had a knack for remembering things, keeping random nuggets of knowledge stored deep within random crevices of your head. Your brain always had a good memory, and today was no exception.

Forget it.

You could probably liven up a lifeless desert with your endless tears that stained Hina’s pillows that night. It would be life or death to retire properly to your own home, not with the atrocity that was this afternoon still thriving in your wake. One more bottled emotion, and your body would simply burst out of existence. You could only properly pinpoint three of them; exhaustion welling up in your feet, confusion tearing through your brain, and guilt overflowing in your heart.

“What am I gonna do?” you weep through the flesh of Hina’s teddy bear. After tossing the empty pop can into her makeshift trash can, Hina plopped onto her bed beside you, drilling a finger straight into her temple. “You need to tell him how you feel, y/n, you can’t just leave him in the dark like that. That’s probably why he got so riled up.”

Your eyes shake as they stay on the ground. Hina shuffles around arms crossing in a full interrogation. “You do know what you want, right?”

Slowly, and without much thought pulling at your strings, you slowly nod. “Well then, what is it?”

An image of your roommate shines into your head once again. The kind roommate you had the great luxury of coming home to, the one always saving you a slice of frozen pizza for when you arrive, the one who reaches the irritating dishes at the top of the cupboard, the one you couldn't get out of your mind. His heartwarming demeanour, his charming smile, his everything. You can’t lie to yourself anymore. With a twinge of determination, you lock eyes with Hina.

“I want it all to be real. I wanna be with Jaemin.”

Hina rested her back onto the plump mattress, a smug grin lining her lips as she crossed her arms in pride. “So you’re finally gonna start listening to me, hm?”

...

“Are you sure about this, Jaem?” Yangyang has never一in Jaemin’s two years of knowing him一sounded so concerned for his friend’s wellbeing. It sent shivers down his spine, how pitiful Jaemin must’ve looked right now. His fingers grasped the horrendous stack of papers; one wrong move could easily decorate the floor with the homework, and Jaemin was...concerned, to say the least.

“Why are we even doing this? You won the bet!” Donghyuck hugged his own stack close to his chest as the three boys watched Jaemin’s head sink low to the floor, and watched his heart sink even lower. “Yeah, about that...”

Even if the truth hurts, it needs to be said, right?

“...Y/n wasn’t my date at the restaurant. I never asked anyone out, actually. The truth is… she’s my roommate. I only asked her out on a fake date so I could keep the bet going.”

Jaemin felt the confused, yet somber stares of Jeno burn through his skin. It only made sense that Jeno had a few questions; Na Jaemin’s beaten up, hunched over figure was nothing like the lovestruck, head-over-heels Jaemin he’d witnessed just a couple of days prior. “But it didn’t work out that well with her, so here I am, ready for the punishment.”

It struck Jaemin’s chest more times that could count, slashing at his heart, his pride, everything he loved. How could he be so foolish? Convincing himself his simple crush could ever reciprocate his feelings. Could ever love him back. Nevertheless, it was more clear now than ever before. To you, he would always just have one label; a simple roommate.

“Jaemin-” Donghyuck reluctantly brushed his palm on Jaemin’s shoulder, his best excuse for a peace offering. Jaemin, however, finally snapped, shooting a glare through the eyes of his rather persistent friends.

“What? You were right, okay? I can’t get any girl I want. I really am just a coward, so I deserve this!” Jaemin slumped his figure一drenched in a sorrow he’s gotten quite familiar with, as of late一into a cheap, cafeteria chair, his heart leaping through his throat.

“She was the only one I wanted, anyway, so what’s the point?”

“I think you got a few things wrong there, buddy.” A familiar voice rang through Jaemin’s ears. The whites of his eyes spilled out of their sockets as Jaemin shot up. You couldn’t blame him, though. The last thing he expected to see was his childhood classmate, Huang Renjun, before him. “You still have a chance with y/n, Jaemin.”

Jaemin sent a rough hiss at Renjun before slowly backing down at Renjun’s unnaturally calm demeanour. “What?”

“I’m not after her anymore, nor is she after me.”

Jaemin’s eyebrows wrinkled. “Then why-”

“It was an accident, we didn’t mean to meet up like that. And that talk at the cafe? It was all for closure. It was something she and I both needed, a lot, if I might add.”

“So… you weren’t trying to get her back?”

Renjun squinted at the utter dumbassary currently blinding him at the moment. “No, are you stupid? I have a girlfriend. And besides, when she first saw you barge into the cafe, her flustered reaction tells me she feels the same way, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

Heat rushed over to Jaemin’s cheeks, the cause being a 50-50 blend of pure embarrassment一from letting his jealous heart take over his mind一and the simple, but beautiful thought of you. Everything started to fall back in their rightful places. His head was finally cleared, his anger had finally wisped away. And more importantly, you were moment’s away from being his. Moments away from retiring the ‘roommate’ label.

Donghyuck leaped from his seat. A directing hand pointed towards the dance department wing as Donghyuck shifted into his ‘fight or flight’ stance, riling up with energy. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR? CONFESS!!”

Without any further hesitation, Jaemin shot from his seat, his eyes etched with determination, and his heart moments away from bursting through his chest. Donghyuck let out a defeated sigh, arms crossing in disappointment. “God, I can’t believe the campus playboy is such a wuss!”

...

Your easily distracted mind had made it maddeningly clear; no song, no matter what the tempo or melody, could take your mind off of your one and only roommate, Na Jaemin. It also didn’t matter that you spent a whopping one night without his bedroom just across the hall from yours; as your heart was still drenched in the guilt you couldn’t seem to get rid of. However, one thing was made clear that night. Your heart purely and utterly belonged to Na Jaemin alone. Only one thing stayed in your way; he may more may not hate your guts now.

Your palms dripped in a cold sweat as your limbs begrudgingly swam in the air. It was bad enough your dance instructor gave not one, but two lectures about getting distracted to blow your ears dry, but even after that public display of embarrassment, your head couldn’t stop recounting the different ways you could finally tell Na Jaemin the truth; the whole truth.

I want the real thing with you

I don’t just want something fake, Jaemin

I wanna be with you

That last statement threw your cheeks into a heated, rosy frenzy. You cup your hands attempting to hide your horrid thoughts as your dance instructor, with a few deadpan words, sets your class free for the evening. You scurry to the corner, peacefully shoving your things into your bag when Shotaro’s voice suddenly rings behind your ear.

“Y/n? Oh yeah, she’s right over there.”

“Great, thanks.”

You freeze on the spot. You could recognize that voice from a mile away. It was almost concerning on your part.

“Y/n!” The voice yelps, in a tone you hadn’t heard in a while. You smile under your breath. You missed his cheerful voice. You slowly prop up, dropping your bag to the depths of the dance room floor. You pivot on your heel, your chest coming face to face with none other than Na Jaemin, in the flesh. “I need to tell you something.”

After scrambling out of the dance room, certainly not attracting the attention of any unwanted instructors, the two of you hide behind the studio entrance. Jaemin stood just centimeters before you, his breath shivering despite the warmer weather. Although, and you wouldn’t be surprised, but this warm sensation could simply be deriving from your cheeks, which was nothing new.

“I’m sorry I lashed out at you yesterday, I never wanted to be mean to you or anything, I was just… heated, yeah.” Jaemin finally began, scratching the nape of his neck. You didn’t like the fact that he was the one apologizing to you, when you knew it should’ve been the other way around. “You don’t need to say sorry, Jaem. I lashed out too and-”

“I was being all selfish, when I really should’ve been thinking clearly. I-I was jealous when I saw you two together, and I couldn’t take it.”

You stopped dead in your tracks. Jealous? He was jealous?

“Truth is… I’ve liked you for some time now, probably ever since we first met. And while the fake date was really fake…” His eyes finally lock yours up, keeping them hostage in his determined glare. “...I really wanted something real between us.”

Jaemin’s hand reached down, cupping your nimble fingers in it as he kept his eye contact tight. His breath hitched as he eyed you, all flustered and adorable with your eyebrows furrowed in a hopeful confusion. Everything about you made him want to cradle you in his arms, never letting go, forever.

“Can I be more than just your roommate, y/n?”

You stayed frozen, mouth gaping wide open at every confession he threw at you. You stayed so still, the only thing visibly moving on your body was the rapid blush zooming through your ears and cheeks, except this time, you didn’t feel the sudden urge to hide such a sensation. Your mind didn’t carry the necessary brian capacity properly function, so naturally, your arms did the job for you.

Your palms cupped the edges of Jaemin’s jaw, a sudden confidence surging through you as you pulled him closer. The tips of your noses collide moments before the surfaces of your lips. You melt into a passion filled kiss, a kiss that’s been pending since the day you first moved in together. Jaemin hugs the small of your waist as you hug his neck. Instinctively, your stomach tucks itself, hiding the embarrassing butterflies fluttering within it. You felt like a celebrity, kissing the campus’ pretty boy; Na Jaemin. Your eyes flicker open.

“Of course you can.”

Your’s and Jaemin’s world crashes back into reality at the sound of a pestering holler, one which Jaemin could only sigh in grief to in response. You turn around only to find a snooping crowd right behind you. Shotaro, joined with two of Jaemin’s friends you first met at the restaurant; Yangyang and Donghyuck, jump for joy at the sight of you two, while a distressed Hina rips her hair out at the fact that she missed the most world shattering confession scene known to man. Jeno, to the right of her, calms her down in a heartbeat. Those two were really perfect for each other. You turn back to Jaemin, a wide grin now taking over his face. He tightens the grip around your hand, a hand that you noticed he’s never let go since he first arrived at your department.

“Do you have another class after this?” “No, why?”

A sly smirk lines his lips as he raises an eyebrow. “Then, shall we go home, darling?”

Gosh, he was such a dork. “Of course.”

…

The long awaited kiss between Hina and Jeno was much more dramatic than any first kiss you could’ve imagined. In fact, it was practically ripped right out the current episode of the drama you and Jaemin had settled down to watch. The air was filled with cheerful hollers roaring from Yangyang and Shotaro and the pathetic wails of Donghyuck realizing that一with Shotaro’s crush on the new girl on campus and the random girl Yangyang met online一he would be the last one standing in the terribly single committeeTM. Jaemin grumbled beside you, his head tucked under your chin as you sat cradled in his arms

“Jeez, Jeno’s stealing my thunder!”

“Let them live, Jaem. They’re in love.”

Jaemin huffed with over exaggeration. “I can’t believe Jeno would betray me like that!”

You pulled Jaemin’s chin up, his face now inches from yours. “Why don’t you forget about them, alright? Just focus on me instead.”

The two of you lean into a kiss, basking in the afternoon sunlight that was peeking through the campus roof. It didn’t matter who was around you anymore, whether they were random strangers or your annoying yet close knit friends. You had already won at life, being the girlfriend of the infamous Na Jaemin; your very special roommate.

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imlostinsantacarla · 4 years ago

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@namjooniewifeu99: Thank you , i would like a Jacob x reader where he like you head over heels with Bella but he imprints on the reader and he tries to deny his imprint , or something in those works can it be angst with a fluff ending

(a/n: heya hun! i apologize for this taking hundreds of years for me to get around to and finally post. i hope you enjoy what i have come up with, please let me know what you think! thanks so much for requesting and supporting my blog. enjoy! - admin kat 🌙❣)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title: You’re Not Good With Weird and I’m Not Good With Fate (Jacob Black x Reader)

Summary: Being best friend’s with a teenage shapeshifter hasn’t been the easiest thing for y/n to have adjusted to, but they have adjusted far better than the pack originally thought they would. Yet when Jacob starts to avoid y/n, the answer they receive is certainly not the one that they were expecting.

Word Count: 4,372

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Jacob being a dick, imprinting, billy interrupting y’all, let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The news of your best friend being a shape shifting werewolf had left you almost gasping for air on the spot, like a fish having been plucked viciously from water. Anxiety pulsed and rippled through your entire being as the animal before you (which had replaced your Jacob) stared into your bewildered wide eyes with his own bulbous orbs. Your heart was palpating so wildly in your chest that you swore that any minute now it would leap from your rib cage and out onto the dull grass of Billy Black’s lawn. There was an intense feeling of nausea that swirled in your stomach, desperately climbing up your throat which made you feel lightheaded.

“Y/n?” Sam inquired softly, hands raised gently above the sides of his head as though he were surrendering to you. “It’s alright. No one’s going to hurt you.” His voice was soothing, crumbling deeply like the flickers of a log fire turning darker as it’s flames died down to charcoal embers.

“Sam, she looks like she’s gonna puke. You think she’s gonna puke? I hope she doesn’t. I’ve got a weak stomach.” Jared complained distastefully, lips turned down at the corners in a deep frown. “I think I’m gonna throw up now.” He continued, hand on his stomach and brows furrowed.

“Will you shut up, Jared? Nobody cares! Y/n literally looks like she’s about to turn on her heels and start running for the hills.” Paul quipped irately, shaking on the spot.

“Both of you, shut up! That’s an order.” Sam barked over his shoulder at his fellow brothers, voice booming, alarming you out of your shocked state.

“What the hell?” You murmured with furrowed brows, swallowing thickly once again as another wave of anxiety washed over you. “Jacob? Y-you just turned into a dog... a very, very large dog! This is insane.” Your eyes scrunched up as though shutting them as tightly as possible would make this entire scene vanish in a puff of wispy grey smoke. Yet when you opened them once more, the wolf was still in his place, staring at you with pleading orbs.

The entire world that you had grown up knowing came crumbling down at your feet, leaving displeasing confusion in it’s wake. And unfortunately, that was the late time you’d seen Jacob Black.

---

Ominous charcoal clouds packed themselves over the small town of Forks, not a strange occurrence on a Saturday afternoon. Your head was still numb, lacking the ability to focus on even the most simple of tasks. However, here you were, damp hair clinging to the sides of your face as you sat in the drivers seat of your car, wedging your key into the ignition, twisting it and as if by magic your car rumbled to life. The heating blasted through the vents at a whirring pace, but comforting against your cold wet skin. It had been a week since the fiasco in his fathers back yard, and another two weeks since you had gone to visit him to apologize for not taking the news of his newfound abilities lightly, explaining that you had needed some time to get your head around the whole ordeal. You weren’t exactly great with weird.

“Hey,” you hummed shyly after having tenderly pattered up the steps of Emily’s front porch, your presence instantaneously noted by the pack of boys and one girl. You had been met with wolfish grins and a massive dose of teasing that you had definitely not missed. Jacob’s brothers and sister welcomed you back with open arms, relieved now that his depressing inner monologue would silence itself out, replacing itself with it’s usually sunny spell.

Jacob on the other hand had appeared intensely bitter, his hulking back still turned to you, indicating that his feelings were hurt. But you knew that a little bit of TLC and a civilized chat would get his walls to come down. “Can we talk?” You’d inquired sheepishly whilst having stuffed your hands into your back pockets - a nervous habit -.

“What’s there to talk about?” Poison seeped from his mouth. ‘Ouch! He’s definitely still mad.’ you had contemplated this time and time again, but it still didn’t dissipate the intense sting his tone of voice created in your heart.

Paul and Jared murmured something, eyes plastered on the pair of you as Embry had placed a bet with Jared over who would win. Leah promptly swatted the back of their heads at such a lightening pace you’d believed you’d dreamed it up if it wasn’t for the trio having clutched the rear of their skulls.

“You know that’s not true, Jake. We can dish it out for everyone to see right here, right now or we could go and talk somewhere privately.” You’d sounded more miffed than you’d thought you’d been originally. Confrontation, particularly in front of others always made you feel on edge and Jacob knew that.

“Wouldn’t you-” Jacob had spun around on his toes, deep eyes lit on fire with a flame that truly could have scorched you, though as soon as the look of indigence had clouded his complexion, it had vanished as though he’d suddenly choked on his words. He stared at you like he’d just seen the sun for the first time, which made you feel a little uncomfortable.

“Wouldn’t I what, Jacob?” You quipped perplexingly, arms folded neatly over your chest, brows raised in question. But he never answered, just gaped at you with that same love-struck complexion. Everything seemed to slow down between the pair of you, as though the gawping eyes staring at you both didn’t even exist.

A clearing of several throats had pulled the pair of you out of your dazes. The others boys were grinning something awfully mischievous at you both, which only spurred on your bewilderment. “Will you two love birds just get a room already?” Jared tipped his head back in exhaustion.

“No, you don’t have to worry about that because I’m leaving.” Jacob spat that same venom from before. And before you were even aware of it, Jacob had pushed past you and was down at the end of Emily’s garden that lead into the thick shrubbery beyond. And the teenage boy was gone.

A low whistle sounded from behind you and embarrassment radiated from your entire existence. ‘Maybe this had just all been a mistake.’ You kept telling yourself.

In the early days of this turn of events, you hadn’t been the least bit surprised when you had phoned him and he hung up when he heard your voice. Although Jacob was sweet and happy most times, obviously this physical change had left him in some form of anger-induced turmoil, which had only amplified when you had rejected him initially. But now enough was enough. Two weeks was long enough for him to mope about like a petty child. You were through with this.

The drive to La Push was a route that you swore to your friends that you could accomplish safely even blindfolded and the winding roads slick with black ice. You had been there and come back so frequently over the course of three years that it now felt like a second home to you. The pack had welcomed you with their taunting remarks and surprisingly you have become one of them, - despite the fact that you were only a frail human being -.

Determination sunk into your bones the longer that you drove, your previous numbness and apprehension having dissipated. Before long you were pulled up along the side of the road just in front of Jacob’s home; and with how dark it had been all day, you could scarcely tell what time it actually was. Yet nevertheless, you practically heaved yourself out of your car and into the pouring rain. Billy had already seen you pull up from the rickety window of his living room and whilst you neared towards the door, he opened it, allowing a yellow wash of artificial light to cascade in the deepness of early evening. “He’s not here, y/n.” the statement was cold, accompanied by an even more acerbic facial expression on his countenance. This made you feel unwelcome, causing you to wonder what in the world Jacob had told his father to make him use that kind of tone with you. Billy had always been quite chirpy and carefree around you in the past.

“Yeah, I don’t by that, old man.” Your brows furrowed as you muttered the words at him with equal matching coldness. “That’s what you said on the phone yesterday evening when I heard Jake call after you in the background.” You grumbled sarcastically, pushing past Billy. You trailed with you an ocean-full of water into the tiny home, which Billy also did not seem surprised about. In fact, now that you were indoors, you could tell that he appeared as though he had expected you to show up sooner or later.

“Well, haven’t you got me sussed out then.” Sarcasm mixed with a simper. Two traits that obviously Jacob had inherited from his father. But that didn’t stop you from storming through the little house and bursting through Jacob’s bedroom door to find that his closet of a bedroom was uninhabited. You had barely even noticed the squeaking wheels of Billy’s wheelchair. “Just like I said, y/n. He’s not here. But from the looks of your face, I’m bagging on the idea that you won’t be leaving any time soon.” he added wryly, ancient black eyes staring up into your own. “At least do me the favor of taking you jacket and shoes off.”

As if on cue, the back door of the Black’s residence opened, revealing Jacob Black’s towering frame which squeezed in through the small opening. Had Jacob grown in the past two weeks you hadn’t seen him? The boy was blissfully unaware of your presence until he looked up to find yourself and his father frozen on the spot. A flash of surprise dawned across his countenance as he took in your disheveled and wet appearance. The puddle of water at your feet made him snort, he knew he’d be the one cleaning that up once you left. “Hey Jake!” Billy grinned widely at his son. “Y/n just dropped by.” He stated it so obviously and nonchalantly it almost made you cringe. You had to hand it to the old man though, he really could make anything awkward sound causal.

Yet this only appeared to spur on Jacob’s rotten attitude.

"Yeah, I can see that.” He muttered bitterly, his great stature weaving around you and towards his room as though you just some obstacle in his path. A nuisance. Again, no matter how many times he used that same tone on you, it always seemed to sting just as bad as the first time. Yet now there seemed to be a dull ache in your heart, as though it were shattering into a billion pieces. Through the dull ache lit a searing fire of irritation and bitterness, creating a sour taste on your tongue and a distasteful whirlwind of anger flooded your system so intensely that your eyes began to water.

“What the hell is your problem?!” You snapped, following after Jacob. Your arm reached out and attempted to wrap around his bicep, but he only continued forward as though he did not notice your touch.

“Y/n...” Billy warned from behind you both but you paid little mind to his warning.

“Do you think I deserve all of this, Jake? How was I supposed to take the news of you turning into a giant freaking werewolf? I’m not Bella!” You hissed through tightly gritted teeth, your fists tightly balled indignantly at your sides, fingernails almost piercing the delicate skin of your palms, which gave you a sensation to ground yourself on.

A scoff emitted itself from Jacob’s mouth and you could practically hear his eyes rolling in his skull. “Yeah, well at least Bella didn’t avoid me for a whole week like a damn baby.”

“Yeah, you’re right Jake! You doubled that yourself.” If he wanted to play this childish game of hurtful words, you were game to jump right in, regardless of whether or not he would turn into a werewolf in front of you. With the way that your anger continued to fester in your veins, you genuinely felt like you could take him on at this point.

"You know that was different, y/n. I was trying to protect her.”

“Yeah, protecting her. What a load of crap! You’re the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met in my damn life.” Your voice reached a volume it had never reached prior to this point and it almost scared you out of your menacing stupor.

“Hypocrisy,” the word left his mouth acerbically as his larger frame began to shake undoubtedly and his breathing altered itself to a quicker pace. “You know, I don’t get why you’re so mad at me for avoiding you. Do you not like the taste of your own medicine?”

“Taste of my own medicine?!” You practically shouted. “Again, how was I meant to take the news that you turn into a giant wolf, Jake? I’m not like Bella, I don’t do weird!”

“Then maybe you should leave.” He spat over his shoulder at you. The look in his eyes seemed to show more animal than human as he trembled violently on the spot.

“Leave? Jake, why’re you pushing me away like this? I get it, okay. I was an ass for avoiding you but I needed some time and space to get my head around the fact that you and your friends shape shift!”

Silence rung from him, he shut his orbs tightly, attempting to steady the rage bubbling within him through deep breaths. “You should really leave, y/n.”

“No! No, I’m not leaving until you tell me why you’ve been avoiding me for the past two weeks, Jake. This has more to do with me having taken your shift badly. What happened at Emily’s when I tried to talk to you... when you turned to look at me, it was like you’d seen the sun for the first time in your life. Like-”

“Like what?”

“Like you actually gave a damn about me! And now- now you’re just being an ass. You’re running away from me and I think it’s got something to do with that time at Emily’s.”

Once more, silence hovered over the pair of you, which only indicated to yourself that you had hit the hammer on the nail with doubtless precision.

"Why don’t you just tell me what’s really going on?” You practically pleaded, fingers winding their way around his big wrist. His skin was burning hot, but you refused to let go.

“You wouldn’t understand, y/n. You don’t do weird, remember?”

“Why? Because I’m human? Let me try to do weird for once! I’m learning to...” You hummed under your breath, voice catching in your throat. This felt helpless to you. “Jacob, I don’t want to run away from this any more. I’ve come to terms with what you are and I’m staying, regardless of what you assume I think and feel about you.” It was tender the way that you spoke, an ardent edge that breathed forgiveness from him. You really did want things to work out between the pair of you. All of this arguing and avoiding made your heart ache for your Jacob.

"It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s because I literally hate the fact that I love you so much and you’ll never love me that way back.” There was so much defeat weighing on him that his head and shoulders slumped forward. He still hadn’t dared to face you, though the tremors running up and down his limbs had halted to a soft and slow vibration. He was cooling off. Finally.

In all honesty, this had definitely not been what you were expecting to come flying out of Jacob’s mouth. It left you silent and dumbfounded, mouth dry and agape. “Y-you l-love m-me?” You stammered breathless, fingers tightening around his russet wrist.

“See? This is exactly the reaction I was expecting!” His defenses came clamoring up in order to keep you out. It was exhausting trying to swim against the torrential waves.

"No, Jake, shut up for once! What do you mean that you love me?”

“Just forget I said anything...”

“No!” You tugged on his wrist harder, alerting him finally that you were touching him. He turned to face you, large deep eyes staring into yours with a pained expression. Being this horrible to you, pushing you away was also causing internally emotional damage to him also. “I’m not gonna forget what you said. Jake, you owe me an explanation. I don’t know what happened in the space of these past two weeks you’ve been avoiding me, but being away from you has been painful. It’s like I’ve been drowning without you. The whole time all I kept thinking is that I’d done everything wrong.” You hadn’t even realized there were tears in your eyes until they spilled over and down your cheeks. You batted them away impatiently with your free hand, anger now directed at yourself. “I’m so sorry for- for not having taken your shift well and for freaking out the way that I did. I’m just not good with surprises. But I just wanted you to know that I’ve never stopped loving you and I never will. I’ve always loved you, Jake.”

Awe struck itself across Jacob’s face as he stared at you whilst you cried in front of him. His head cocked to the side momentarily as he blinked a few times. He certainly hadn’t expected that! What did you mean you loved him? How could anyone love him when even he hated the fact that he turned into a werewolf? This didn’t make any sense to him, but it did fit together nicely with what all the other members of his pack had told him.

You were his imprint and these entire two weeks he had been avoiding something he simply could not avoid. Man, he suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt bombard his heart and stomach, leaving him nauseous and unsettled. He’d really put you through the ringer for the past fortnight when really all you had done is react like any sane human would have. He even knew that he’d have reacted as you had. Even when he had shifted for the first time, mixed with all the pain and terror was the thought that he was truly going insane, so in the end, the boy couldn’t blame you for not handling things as well as Bella Swan had. Bella had been immersed in the world of the supernatural far longer than even he himself had. She’d always been odd like that, a danger magnet. The way you had reacted was simply rational, a logical factor of your fight or flight mechanism having kicked in.

The large calloused pads of his thumbs dotted and then pressed softly under your eyes, swiping away your tears with the delicate movement of a feather. “I don’t know what to say...” He stated just above a whisper before he sat on top of his small bed, his chocolate orbs now staring up into yours. Naturally he pulled you into his lap, his embrace hot as you tucked your face into the crook of his neck, the heat of his russet skin drying your tears instantly. “Don’t cry. Please? I hate it when you cry.” He pleaded into your shoulder, hands finding their way underneath your raincoat. He made quick work of rubbing your back soothingly, an action that he knew helped to calm you.

“I’m just not good with the idea of fate and soulmate stuff, y/n.” He hummed sincerely against the fabric of your jacket as he brought you much closer to him. The feeling felt warming, as though you were finally back home. It caused your heart to skip a beat and a sob to rake through you. This felt natural, as though it all made sense to you now.

Since no answer fell from your lips he continued, “I know this is gonna make me sound nuts but- oh hell!” He sounded conflicted as he pulled back from you, his nimble fingers finding their way underneath your chin and tenderly pushing your face up so you could see his reddened face. “Every wolf has what you call a soulmate somewhere out there in the world, but it’s not exactly guaranteed that we’ll meet them. Cheesy I know.” Jacob half smiled at you whilst your brows furrowed in confusion. “From what Sam and Hared have explained to me, it’s called imprinting. When we imprint on someone, it’s like- like you said earlier, we’ve seen the sun for the first time. That person we imprint on becomes our whole world and reason for existing. We have this unbreakable bond with said person. It’s impossible for either the imprint or the imprintee to reject one another. In fact, it’s actually quite painful.” He sighed out, eyes suddenly having dropped their gaze from yours.

“What does that mean?” You inquired softly.

Jacob grinned halfheartedly before he looked into your eyes again. “It means, y/n,” his face leaned closer to you, only milometers away. It left your head swimming with excitement. “that we’re soulmates.”

"Me? I’m your soulmate?” You gawked at him, your pointer finger pointing at your heart. Jacob’s chest rumbled with laughter, your confusion making you appear cute.

“Yeah. And it’s a new thing for me too. I’ve never really believed in fate, hence why I’ve been avoiding you for two weeks. I just hate not being in control of myself. I mean, I never meant to hurt you, you have to know that. You do, don’t you?” He inquired candidly, eyes meeting yours once more and you nodded softly. “Good, because if you didn’t I’d have to kick myself again.”

“You’re mad that I’m your soulmate?”

“Imprint. You’re my imprint, y/n.” Jacob grinned widely as though the sun was gleaming in his bedroom once more. “And yeah, to be truthful, I was. But that’s only because I didn’t want to face it.”

“And now? Do you not want me to be your imprint?”

“Of course I do! I was just being petty. You’re not good with weird, and I’m not good with fate.” To that he rubbed his neck sheepishly, causing you to grin widely and giggle.

“You know, for a six foot seven inch teenage boy who’s built like a tnak, you really have a fragile ego.” This made Jacob tip his head back and laugh in even more abundance.

“Alright, I’ll take that one. I do kinda deserve it.”

“I mean, you really were an ass.”

“Yeah, and so were you.”

“Touche.”

A comfortable silence enveloped you both as you silently grinned down at your fiddling fingers. This whole experience left your mind fuzzy and your belly full of fluttering butterflies. “So does this mean we’re okay not? No more avoiding each other like we’ve got the Black Plague?”

“Yeah, we’re good. No plague included.” He stated with a breathy chuckle, his forehead leaning against yours. His hands trailed down to your hips, thumbs brushing underneath the hem of your shirt in a reassuring gesture.

“Good.” You sighed in relief, smiling like you’d suddenly won the lottery. That’s when you finally took note of how alarmingly hot he was. “Jake?” Concern laced your tone.

“Yeah, y/n?”

“Is it normal for you to feel like you’re on fire all the time?”

“Yeah, that’s unfortunately a wolf thing.”

“Well, that’s certainly gonna come in handy during the winter if I do say so myself.”

Again, as though he could not stop himself, Jacob snickered, wrapping his russet arms around your waist securely, bringing you into his front once more for a tight embrace. This felt like the best feeling in the world, being in his arms. Home. It felt just like the home you’d always dreamed of since you were a little girl. Your orbs began to flutter shut tiredly as your fingers brushed against the base of his neck, the tips fingering through the short hairs on the nape of his neck, a gesture of forgiveness. Peace radiated off of the pair of you as though nothing else mattered in the world. Surely nothing could ruin this moment.

Suddenly, the door nudged open, revealing Billy Black. As if on cue, embarrassing painted evidently on your expression, you flinched out of Jacob’s arms and landed on the bed next to him. The entire movement left him confused until he stared at his father in the doorway with the smuggest grin smacked straight on his face. “Hey, y/n, I see you and Jake have made up. I hope that means that you’ll be staying for dinner. I’ve made my famous spaghetti: It’s a family secret, passed down from generation to generation.” The way this old man was capable of reacting so calmly to any situation was almost laughable.

“S-sure!” You hummed whilst Jacob scoffed beside you, muttering underneath his breath about how spaghetti hardly dated back far enough and wasn’t culturally accurate for it to be true. You pinched Jacob’s arm softly, to which he laughed at.

“Great! Because while you two had your little fiasco I was in there finishing it all up. It’s ready now.” And to that he twisted his wheelchair around and made his way to the living room. “Jake, do you mind plating up the food? Also, can you wipe up that puddle of water on the floor so y/n doesn’t slip?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jake muttered brazenly, his orbs rolling as he got up off of the bed and followed after his father. You grinned to yourself for a moment as you watched Jacob dash to the bathroom to grab a towel and mop up the water you’d left in your wake of chasing him down earlier that evening before he made his way into the kitchen to dish up some plates of Billy Black’s Famous Spaghetti.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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#jacobblack #jacob black #jacob black imagines #jacob black x reader #jacob black headcanons #twilight #twilight imagines #twilight saga #twilight saga imagines #twilight jacob black #twilight jacob black imagines #twilight jacob black x reader #i hope you enjoyed this!#admin kat

737 notes · View notes

janiedean · 3 years ago

Note

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #anonymous #ask post #anti-jonsa #anti jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti jonerys #both of them for equality

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Ducktales Shadow Into Light (Lena Retrospective): Friendship Hates Magic! (Commission by WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome, and to some of you welcome back to Shadow Into Light, my fully paid for but gladly done Lena retrospective, covering everyone’s faviorite lesbian emo shadow’s personal jounrey through all three seasons and some brucey bonuses.

So this time we pick up in mid-season 2.. yes MID season 2. Though for once taking so long to adress things had valid reasons. It dosen’t make the 8 month wait for Lena to return and for Violet to show up, her concept art having been shown off shortly before Shadow War aired during San Diego Comic Con, any less aggravating, especially since the episode did air overseas before that but never leaked anywhere properly. So I knew she’d be okay but not HOW.

As I said though.. they had their reasons. The episode was set for episode 8 in production order, right behind whatever Happened to Della Duck? which answered the other big cliffhanger from season 1, Della’s exile on the moon. So while this episode was back in the queue, along with Della’s, which had to wait till after the christmas episode to air because said episode takes place before it. So waiting on this episode was fair on the crew’s part even knowing it was a hiatus.

It ended up getting pushed back by a week once the episodes started airing.. but as outlined last time, THIS TIME Disney actually moved it for good reason instead of just doing so because shut up. See the problem with moving episodes around in season 2.. is Della’s return. Several episodes that in theory could’ve easily been pushed back instead of this one, Depths of Cousin Fethry, Treasure of the Found Lamp... couldn’t because they take place BEFORE Della came back and it’d be weird to air them after. One features Donald, the other dosen’t but still lacks Della and it’d be weird if it did> While this episode takes place before Della comes back or was at least meant to, no one appears in person, and Beakly mentoning “the boys and scrooge” at the bin could simply be her forgetting Della’s a part of things for a second. It’s not entirely in character, but it’s much easier than explaning why Della’s not there and Donald is.

They also moved one episode ahead of this.. but it’s one I approve of. See from episode 7 onward the episodes were aired in week long duckbombs, woo-ooo. I I don’t fault disney for it or the reason I suspect they had for doing this: while it wasn’t the intended way of airing, they likely did this airing style to get shows on Disney Plus quicker for it’s debut and given they’ve sunk a LOT of money into the streaming service and it’s a key part of their future, I can’t blame them for wanting the entire series thus far on the platform at launch. It’s one of if not their most popular show at the moment. They wanted it front and center.

So this one took an extra week to air, and an extra day as they aired raiders of the doomsday vault right after Della’s return in “Nothing Can Stop Della Duck!”.. which is also not a bad move. Fans wanted more of Della and her bonding with the kids, I wanted more of that so while the wait was grumble inducing, it was worth the tradeoff to get more of this character and her bonding with Dewey.. and let’s face it Glomgold. You know what i’m about at this point.

So there were delays but not the mind boggling ones that reshuffled the season last time and by next season there’d be zero reshuffling with both holiday episodes designed to go anywhere. So with the history and the agonizing wait out of the way join me under the cut as a snark knight returns, a new fan faviorite debuts and Beakly gets sucked into Launchpad’s awful fandom.

We open our story at the Duckburg Library. Man I fucking miss the library. I mean you can go by apointment and what not but I also have library card debt and stuff, and it’s just not the same.

Anyways naturally Webby is going there to research the Shadow Realm in hopes of finding something to bring Lena back. Last week was “Children’s Card Games, Dark Magic and You! by Professor Yugi Moto which while enlightening got her nowhere. Next up is “Shadow Games on Motorcycles!: How a Crimson Dragon defeated a giant Shadow Monster and brought the dead back and I helped by Doctor Yusei Fudo”.

But that one’s not in yet so she instead goes to the Librarian to get another book.. and it’s Quackfaster! Horay! As for why she’s working two jobs, she’s saving up for a retirement condo in BIRDDDBAAADDOOOSSSSS. I had to type it that way it’s ape law.

But her next book “I Went there and it Sucked, My Time in the Shadow Realm by Mayor of New Jersey Joey Wheeler” is taken by “another strange little girl”. Quackfaster, you chase people around with a scimitar. Just accept your the weird one and live with it like me. You’ll be happier that way.

And so we finally meet Violet whose introduced pitch perfectly. Webby gives out her usual “Hi I”m Webby”.. and Violet simply holds a finger up, finishes her page and gives a simple “Yes?” It demonstrates her quite nature, her love of reading and her lack of social skills all in one fell swoop. The ensuing dead language off is also pretty damn adorable reminding me of that scene from “Lisa’s Wedding” where she and Hugh fight over a book and reading it before making out.. minus the making out because these are children, no one wants that, and Webby is taken. .and even then again children. Most we get is an innocent peck and some blushing.

So Violet, finding out Webby needs it and is researching the arcane too offers to research together tonight, bringing a sleeping bag just in case it goes on long... to Lena’s unheard objections as she’s rattled by the break in her normal routine with Webby, and the possibility of Webby falling for someone else. I mean this i framed as a friendship thing... but you can only say “friend” so many times in a work before you sound like a retired grandma in denial about their granddaughter.

Later at the Mansion, Beakley is enjoying a nice quiet afternoon to herself. Turns out once a month Scrooge has “Binventory Day” where he and the boys catalogue the bin for hours giving her a night to herself and Webby. Webby loudly interuppts the peace as is Cartoon Law, but Beakley is pleased Webby is getting back on the friendship horse.

Bentina ends up ruining it a bit though by bringing up her previous slumber party disasters... which even Lena at her most jealous admits were her fault and only agrees to in the hopes Webby’s going to cancel. Instead Webby decides to make this the most normal sleepover ever! The one where her new friend is coming to specifically help her with magic.

Bentina tries to back her grandaughter/daughter down from this insane logic, but Webby does, if innocently clap back well to her being the one to give her “Be yourself” advice. “I’m not like you Granny, I need to have friends”

And while Webby quickly flees after Beakley tries to deny it.. she’s not wrong. She has exactly one friend who she works for and no social life to speak of.. and as far as I can tell she’s fine this way. Beakley is happy with her work and raising Webby and has someone to talk to in Scrooge. She has everything she needs, while Webby is a social butterfly.. a socially inept social butterfly. She needs people and loves meeting new people and needs friends and not just her family. One’s an introvert the other’s an extrovert. I’m both at times, and before you ask why yes it is a living nightmare thank you so much for asking. I get where both are coming from. And Beakley clearly had friends at one point it’s just a long war with FOWL and a sudden granddaughter probably whittled it down to just Scrooge. It’s okay to be yourself.

So this is where the plotlines split off, so as usual, i’m splitting the up.

Launchpad and Beakley in Getting To Know You And Getting Sucked INto Your Strange and Lovely Fandom

So Beakley naturally cries out “name one person I don’t get along with.. and in walks Launchpad , Nature’s Perfect Himbo, having destroyed the gate and at least being honest he probably will again. Why he’s here when the boys and Scrooge are all gone?

But I don’t care as this subplot is just.. a nonstop delight. Starting with Beakly inviting Launchpad to sup with her.. which just confuses him. Look Bentina you have to use small words.. it’s a miracle he gets up in the morning, dreses himself and hasn’t died in a tragic gasoline fight accident. You have to know your audience. Still funny.

And “not knowing your audience” continues as Beakly serves them pea soup but Launchpad is intimidated by the spoons and while she does offer to help instead tries to use all of them then a straw and then falls facedown in his soup. And this is the SECOND TIME Beakly’s left someone living at the mansion to die. I mean that’s not a lot but it’s still weird it happened twice.

Finally they sit quitely, Beakly reading the Scarlet Pimpernell, and Launchpad doing a coloring book. And besides the odd couple energy what I really like about this subplot.. is that it fleshes Beakly out> This is one of her ONLY plots in the entire goddamn series, yes really. 70 episodes and she only got five spotlight episodes/plots. But it does at least show her off: her upperclass pedigree we really don’t see often, showing that while she applied to the job as maid out of necisity she knows her stuff, her love of classic literature and her being out of touch with the common person. It’s not a ton but it’s more than ninja butler or “stop having fun with your kids della and be a parent”. I mean she wasn’t wrong but she could’ve been nicer about it given the circumstances.

So Launchpad, given Beakley’s never shown any interest in him as a person before, assumes she’s going to fire him and was just softening him up. I mean Scrooge himself outright said he never would and if he did he’d do it to your face, hard as it’d be. But that aside, he’s fine with getting to know her once he knows that no he’s not being fired she just wanted to hang out, he’s everyone’s friend. But naturally an upperclash british former super spy and a dumb as a bucket with a heart of gold pilot have nothing in common, not even aircraft as “plane go up, plane crash going down’ is about the extent of his actual knowledge on aircraft that isn’t instinct or dumb luck.

He does manage to break the ice though, mistaking her book for a Darkwing Duck book and deciding to show her the show since it might be something they have in common. At first she’s as unintuhsed as you’d expect a british lady who never watches the telly watching a 90′s kids show would be.. but by the end she’s gotten all the way into it.

It’s really endearing, showning that two vastly diffrent people with nothing can common can be brought together by something as simple and glorious as liking the same show. I’ve had it happen with me. She naturally is all for filiming his fanscript after the finale provides no answers, being the one to suggest it and the two end the episode shooting it with her in full darkwing duck cosplay. I’ts a cute and entertaining subplot and a nice contrast to the main plot which while not super dark, does have a fog of tension over it. Speaking of which.

Webby, Lena and Violet: In Two’s Company, Three Accidently Creates Monsters That Nearly Take Your Girlfriend Off Into The Shadowy Abyss So the slumber party gets underway with Webby shooing away Duckworth after clearing out her room to greet Violet herself and violet having brought pie... a great callback to an earlier joke where Webby wondered if pie was normal at a sleepover. No but it should be. So Webby welcomes her in to her totally normal room devoid of anything. Nothing suspicious about that.

So Violet tries to get her into research, specifically Tulpas, an actual magical concept, a mental construct of some kind created out of desire, imagination or what have you. Gee I wonder if that will come into play this episode. Webby.. wants to play baggle or what have you or do makeovers and drags Violet along to do the second thing after Violet asks about Magica. Lena then finds something glowing in Violet’s bag...specifically, her old amulet, cracked but still working and flowing with Magica’s power.

Lena assumes Violet is Magica and goes to warn Webby only to find her HORRIBLY MUTATED! Naturally it’s a misdirect, as it turns out Violet is just REALLY good at special effects makeup. It’s something I honestly forgot about her... i’m betting one of her dad’s is an effects artist. Just saying that’d be neat. But Webby gives the “i’m normal really even though I live in a giant mansion with my dad I don’t know is my dad and my grandma whose actually my adopted mom” game away by pointing out the demon’s fang is crooked and Violet is curious and heads to Webby’s room finding a picture from said demon. He signed it and everything. Good man that Rakshaka.

Webby is worried Violet will be freaked out by all the weird but nope, she enjoys it. And it’s not a suprise: violet is actively researching the shadow dimension. Why WOULD she be scared off. The conflict was in Webby’s head all along.. and partly out of PTSD, but we’ll get to that. Webby still tries to get her to baggle but they settle on ancient rune dice baggle and summoning some spirits. Lena scoffs.. until it actually works. It does make sense though: As we’ll see in her last starring role, Lena is kinda like Wanda Maximoff: she has an extreme amount of power but she has no idea how to use it and is simply making up most of her magic as she goes along or took magica’s lead. But the spell means Lena can touch the dice so she spells out don’t trust her.. but forgets she’s dealing with two nerds who love unlocking puzzles and assume the message is on the dice themselves.

Webby and Violet decide they need more clarity and resume the seance.. which summons mysterious white shadow creatures Lena saw before.. .some now taking Magica’s shape. And Lena’s panicked “Oh not again” says it all. So Lena tries the tried and true bedsheet ghost cliche, grumbling about it but showing up as a ghost without any abillity to speak or talk to webby dosen’t do anything and Violet tackles the sheet before deciding to grab the amulet to dispiate the spirit.. only for Lena to show up for a breif second before she does show making the panicked child look incredibly supscious.

Webby naturally tackles and interrogates Violet wanting the full story. And it turns out the big secret is.. Violet is entirely normal. Nothing to do with Magica, no possesions or secretly being her or a minon of hers... she was just a logic obsessed 12 year old who thought magic was a myth.. until the Shadow War proved “Nope it’s real everything you know is wrong. Up is down black is white and short is long”. She just happened to be close to the bin and found the amulet when the remains of the staff fell near her and compacted back into it.

It’s a brilliant reveal. See first watch around your genuinely unsure if Violet is a real person or not.. unless you went in knowing she is, but semantics. Point is most first time viewers didn’t know she’d be a beloved member of the supporting cast and didn’t know what to expect. But looking back... it makes no sense. If Magica had the amulet.. why would she need to infiltrate the mansion. Revenge? Possibly but she’d want Scrooge there too. Even being evil on her own Violet had valid opportunity to pilfer Webby’s magical items, she has an entire box of magic rocks right there and then simply zap her with the amulet. But she didn’t.. because Violet is a person. When she DOES use it she’s utterly terrified, and we can see her breathing heavy, scared.. something Magica has NEVER been of Lena. To Violet it was just a ghost. Webby hadn’t told her about lena and any information she had about her was second hand from newspapers and the like.

Webby is sympathetic, as Violet’s feeling of being sheltered from this greater world naturally resonates and while Lena is still supscious, having reincorperated, it’s clear Webby trusts violet and simply dosen’t want to loose another friend to magic. Here trying to hide it now takes another tone.. she knows Lena was behind it.. but is so afraid of it consuming violet the way it did Lena, she forgets almost ALL of the weird magic stuff in sleepovers was magica’s manipulation, and that Lena died because her creator was a monster, not because of magic. Magic is not inherently good or bad, it just is, and that will come back as a theme in a few episodes. It allowed Magica to ravage the town and kill Lena.. but it allowed Lena to exist in the first place and while the terrible events with Magica clearly shook her.. it also shook violet out of her complacency and got her to research a world she never would’ve considered. Good can come from bad.

And it’s with this in mind that Violet.. does not give up. She’s stayed in her box enough.. and now she knows the spirit is a friendly one.. she figures they can bring Lena BACK using the amulet. After all it was lena’s and the source of her powers.. it might be the key to reiviving her. And while Lena, if invisibly as always, remarks it’s dangerous.. Webby, with no hesitation agrees to get her girlfriend back. It’s risky sure.. but what Lena hasn’t gotten is she’s WORTH the list. She’s so full of self loathing from both her manupations of webby and Magica’s gaslighting and abuse that she can’t see herself being worth anything even as Webby spent MONTHS trying to save her, clearly still loves her, and only didn’t want violet getting hurt because she misses her. Webby still loves and needs her for who Lena is.. Lena just can’t it and it hurts to think about that.

So the girls once again try to summon Lena and it starts to work.. but also summons the Tulpa’s back... this time taking Magica’s form and causing a suspcious lena to panic.. and suck both of them into the shadow realm. We get the reunion we’ve been waiting for as Webby tackle hugs her happily.

But it’s soon cut short as Lena still thinks Violet is just manipulating Webby, lying to her and that “she’s mine!”

For the record Joss Whedon sucks, not taking that out on Anthony Stewart Head or the guys who actually wrote the episode. Moving on.

I feel Lena’s jealousy comes from the aformentioned self loathing, mixed with a life of having to live just to surivive at the beck and call of a throughly awful person who didn’t consider her a sentient being worthy of anything especially love. She can’t fathom anyone else loving Webby the way she does because she feels once webby has anyone else.. she won’t need her. It’s toxic and wrong.. but it’s easy to see why that’d happen when sh’es only had one healthy relationship. She barely knows the boys, Beakly only grew to tolerate her and she was only friends with Scrooge for like.. a minute. Webby is the only person she knows, loves and trusts and she just can’t risk loosing that and can’t convince herself to share.

In a realistic scenario Lena would have to simply learn to trust and let her girlfriend have other relationshps and that hogging her all to herself is inhernetly toxic and bad. And while she still does we’re talking about a living pile of shadows smooching a clone, so yeah instead the tulpas come out and drag her off..and take Lena’s form. While Lena tries to blame Violet, Violet has absolutley none of that and makes Lena see the hard truth: Lena is so worried about being forgotten, she created the tulpas by accidnet. As I said her power is raw and unfocused.. so she didn’t do it on purpose nor did she realize how toxic she was being. This finally snaps Lena back to reality, and see Violet geniunely cares about Webby and any ulterior motives were just in her head, so the two agree to work together, using a similar chant to the one from Jaws to destroy the Tulpas and save Webby.

So the shadow realm is disapated and our trio are returned to the human world.. but Lena, not being part of it and no longer having a tether.. starts to disolve, with a really heartbreaking scene of Webby holding her hand, as does violet. But.. then a miracle happens. Since the Bracelet was Lena’s link to Webby, and to her own magic, with it and the amulet close by.. both swirl around Lena, and the power of love.. for a new friend and a first love... revivies her. Mist parts.. and we get one heartwarming sign that after all this time “I’m back?!” Lena is confused.. but once again part of this plane of reality. She’s free and WEbby triumphanthly hugs her with Violet joining in. By letting go of her hate.. Lena returned to who she loved. They also run into the end of the other subplot and Launchpad’s casual hey lena is just great.

So our heroes are reunited and doing horror makeup and I really love Webby’s updo here and wish more works fan nd otherwise used it. WE get a final fakeout as Lena seemingly disovles and Violet reveals herself as magica.. only for it to be a prank and Webby to just be glad the love of her life and her new best friend get a long. We get one last hearwarming image and we close out.. with Lena finally having what she always wanted freedom. And while she may not know it yet in accepting violet.. she’s finally found family. More on that in a few weeks.

Final Thoughts: This episode is excellent. It’s not the best of the Lena arc, that comes next and it does drag once or twice.. but overall it’s a really great character piece, with a nice ballance betwen the tense main plot and the funny and goofy subplot. It adds more to Lena’s character, finally brings her back, while giving us a new and throughly fascenating new character to rave about in Violet, as well as giving Webby her own personal squad. It’s a great episode.. and only leads to a better one. But we’ll get to that in a week or so. First we have a bit of a detour and my plug.

If you liked this review, follow for more, spread it around, and join my patreon. It’s almost time for new patreons to pay up and if you hit my stretch goal i’ll review a darkwing duck episode next month and every month! We’re just five bucks away people! And if you’d like to just comission a review directly it’s just 5 bucks an episode and avaliable via my dms, ask or discord.

Next Time on Shadow Into Light: We take a break from the last two Lena episodes to go to one of her sources as we head back to Ducktales 87 with Magica’s Shadow War! I know almost nothing going in so... Shadow betrayals and stuff? Yay?

Tommorow: It’s Fenton’s birthday! And since i’ve done a LOT of ducktales recently and can’t do super ducktales till I hit my next stretch goal at 25 bucks, we’re going back to ST Canard at long last for Gizmoducks second apperance.. which can’t possibly be worse than the first so i’m excited. Let’s get dangerous tommorow!

#lena sabrewing #webby vanderquack #ducktales #weblena #violet sabrewing #shadow into light #friendship hates magic #great title by the way #bentina beakley #launchpad mcquack #darkwing duck

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hermits-that-craft · 4 years ago

Text

He’s nothing but a problem, he’ll leave you crying overnight

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27146512/chapters/66294634

Tommy lies on his bed, staring at the ceiling and willing himself to remain awake, listening to Wilbur and Techno argue outside his door. The first time Tommy’s heard Techno speak in over a week, and he’s screaming at Wilbur. Tommy can’t remember another time where Techno yelled, and he struggles to even place the concept of his older brother yelling at Wilbur. Their eldest brother.

“We don’t have to do this!” Tommy hears Techno’s voice break, as though it pains him to scream the words. “Tommy and I don’t have to fight a war for you when you’re ready to blow up our home!”

“Manburg isn’t your home!” Wilbur screams back, and Tommy buries his head in his pillows, tears springing to his eyes. “It isn’t his either! You’re a traitor, Technoblade! Just admit you’re going to hand us over to Schlatt!”

“Wilbur I’m your brother! ” Techno sounds heart broken, and Tommy chokes back a sob. “I came here to protect you, you, Wil! You and Tommy!”

“You came because Schlatt asked you to come here, don’t pretend to care about Tommy now!” Wilbur spits, and Tommy wishes that they’d leave, leave each other alone, leave him out of their arguments, leave Pogtopia and argue outside.

“Of course I care about Tommy!”

“If you cared you’d help me!”

“Stop,” Tommy cries, his voice barely audible in his room. “Please stop, please stop fighting. ”

“Of course I care, but killing innocent bystanders and civilians is-”

“And you haven’t before?” Wilbur snaps, and Tommy’s eyes widen, both him and Techno gasping. “Don’t act all innocent, Technoblade , I heard what you told Phil-”

“Phil?” Techno’s voice is quiet. “Why did you call him Phil?”

“Don’t try to deflect here, Techno-”

“Have you lost it? He’s our Dad!”

“He would betray us at the drop of a hat.” Wilbur spits, and Tommy curls in on himself, trying not to cry.

“Dad wouldn’t-”

“When has he been here, Techno?” Wilbur’s voice echoes through Tommy’s head, haunting him from within. “When has Phil ever come for us? He doesn’t care for us, he only cares about his little hardcore world and travelling. We only see him at MCC and you know it.”

“You’re lost.” Techno growls, his voice low and dangerous. “I’m taking Tommy, he doesn’t deserve to live with your paranoia-”

“Don’t you dare accuse me of paranoia-”

“Then what are you doing, accusing me of-”

Their voices mix in Tommy’s head, he can’t tell them apart anymore. Tears roll down his cheeks as he listens to them scream at each other. A sword is unsheathed, and the wall shakes as someone hits it. Tommy pulls the blanket over his head, childishly hiding under the blankets as his brothers tear each other apart.

“Dad,” Tommy sobs. “Dad please come back, please.”

Phil doesn’t return, not that Tommy expected him to. He listens as Techno screams in rage, as Wilbur screams in pain. As someone dies, hearing them respawn nearby. He listens as his older brother leaves, spewing profanities. He listens as his door opens, and his chokes back a sob as his eldest brother walks into the room, sitting on the side of the bed.

“He had to go Tommy,” Wilbur says, gently brushing Tommy’s hair. It would be comforting anywhere else, but in Pogtopia it’s fear inducing. “He was working for Schlatt. Don’t worry, we’re going to be fine without him. Who cares about the pig anyways?”

Wilbur sighs as Tommy sobs, getting off of the bed and walking to the door with heavy footsteps. Tommy pulls his head out from under the blankets, tears staining the wool and his cheeks equally. He looks at Wilbur’s silhouette, illuminated by the torches outside Tommy’s room.

“Get some sleep, Tommy. You’ll feel better in the morning.” Wilbur’s voice is soft, almost normal. Tommy can almost imagine that he’s back at home, in L’Manburg or the farm house, and Wilbur comforted him after a nightmare or a breakdown. Almost.

And Wilbur leaves, and Tommy falls into a fire filled nightmare, the screams that have haunted him since the war hitting him full force as Wilbur burns and blows up everyone and everything .

---

Tommy screams himself awake, fire licking at his brain as the nightmares fade from his mind. Wilbur runs into the room, pulling Tommy into a hug, gently patting his head. Tommy clings to his brother, tears staining Wilbur’s shirt. Wilbur hums to him, gently rocking him as he sobs into Wilbur’s chest. His sobs stop, not due to any lack of fear or sadness but due to him having nothing left to cry, no tears nor energy left.

“Are you actually going to kill everyone in L’Manburg?” Tommy’s voice is soft, broken from the crying. “Are you actually going to blow home up?”

“Of course not, Tommy.” Wilbur says, ruffling Tommy's hair. “I’m going to give the people what they want, I’m not going to hurt anyone.”

“Techno said-”

“Techno’s working with Schlatt now, Tommy.” Wilbur says, and Tommy’s heart stops. His eyes tear up, but none fall and Wilbur pushes Tommy away from himself, holding onto Tommy's shoulders. “We can only trust each other now.”

“No, Techno wouldn’t-” Tears slip down Tommy’s face. “Would he?”

“I’m so sorry, Toms.” Wilbur says softly, and Tommy breaks, sobbing the remaining tears away, and then screaming as Wilbur watches him shatter. “He killed me last night, I was lucky to have set my spawn nearby, he would have kidnaped you.”

Tommy breaks, shattering on the floor of his room. Wilbur doesn’t help him pick up the pieces, just smiling as Tommy screams in pain. He doesn’t hurt, not physically at least. It’s emotional. It’s more guilt than anger. He should have known, he should have stopped him.

“C’mon Toms,” Wilbur offers Tommy his hand, and Tommy grabs him, holding onto Wilbur’s hand like it’s his lifeline. “Lets go and make a new base now. One where Techno and Schlatt can’t find you.”

Tommy doesn’t notice the look in Wilbur’s eyes, one that would haunt him if he only saw it. If he only noticed the smirk on Wilbur’s face while he was crying. He didn’t even notice how Wilbur only mentioned that Tommy would be staying at the new base.

He should have known better.

---

“Techno,” Schlatt says from the podium, watching as Techno rides into Manburg on his horse. Tubbo’s eyes widen as he sees the exhausted look in Techno’s eyes. “I know that you don’t understand what we’re trying to do here, but this isn’t when-”

“Wilbur’s gone insane.” Techno says, hopping off of the horse. “He’s kidnapped Tommy. I need your help. I’ll do anything, just help me get my little brother back.”

“He kidnapped Tommy?” Tubbo’s voice is quiet, echoing over the shocked crowd.

“Why?” Nikki yells. “Why would he do that?”

“Techno, please tell me that you’re lying.” Eret says, walking over to the fellow king. “One king to another, please tell me that this is a lie.”

“Why would I lie about something like this!” Techno’s voice breaks, and the group stands shocked as all of his emotions come out. “My little brother’s been kidnapped and you lot are the only people who can help!”

“We’ll help.” Quackity says immediately, stepping down from the podium and walking towards Techno. “What do you need us to do?”

“Quackity, why would we-” Schlatt frowns, confusion on his face. “Why would we offer help to Techno? For all we know he’s going to take us to a trap.”

“I should have listened to him.” Tubbo says under his breath, horror written on his face. “Oh god, this is all my fault!”

“What do you mean?” Schlatt asks, frowning at the teen. “How is this your fault?”

“Tommy,” Tubbo’s panicking now, hyperventilating as everyone's eyes rest on him. “He told me that Wilbur had lost it, shit.”

“Tubbo just because you were warned-” Nikki begins, trying to calm the boy down. “-doesn’t mean that this is your fault.”

“You don’t understand Nikki! He wanted to run, to run away. I said no! This is my fault! I made him go back!”

---

Tommy sits on the cliffside, watching the waves hit against the cliff as Dream and Wilbur work on hiding their new base. Tommy pulls his cloak around him, clinging onto the naive hope that everything will get better. That Tubbo and Techno and Nikki and Fundy and even Eret will join the trio. They won't. Even so, Tommy clings to the hope, his eyes tired and empty.

He doesn’t want to be alone again.

“Tommy!” Dream calls out to him, and Tommy lifts his head, looking over at the adult. “We’ve built you a room, you should come in.”

“Okay.” Tommy’s voice falls flat, nearly disappearing under the crashing of the waves. “Coming.”

He stands, walking over to the hole that Wilbur and Dream had cut into the cliff face. He misses the glance that the pair exchange, walking into the room. It’s not small, though it is roughly hewn and the walls are made of thick stone. A pocket of granite rests on the far wall, and some diorite lies in the ceiling and the floor. A table rests in the room, made of oak, and a furnace lies against the wall, next to a chest with a crafting bench in the corner. A starter base, that’s what it looks like to him. A bed rests in a corner, and without a second thought, Tommy lies down on it, knowing that this room isn’t the one they were referencing, but being too scared to risk respawning in Pogtopia again.

That was the wrong thing to do.

Tommy stands, and Dream ender pearls behind the teen. Blood falls from Tommy’s lips and pain blooms from his chest. Dream pulls the sword from Tommy’s chest and the teen lets loose a scream, gut wrenching and heart breaking and painful to hear. Tommy falls to the ground, betrayal and fear written across his face. He looks at Wilbur who just smiles at him, and the universe turns him to dust.

TommyInnit was slain by Dream

Tubbo lets loose a scream, pain in his voice as he reads through the message that everyone received. Techno growls, throwing his axe into a tree in rage. Nikki lets loose a cry as Eret holds Tubbo together, Fundy punching a wall in the background. The Manburgians look as though fury isn’t an emotion, but something that they can wield as a weapon. Schlatt glares at the forest, but doesn’t move as Quackity lets loose a scream of rage.

“That bastard!” Quackity screams. “That fucking bastard!”

“We need to find him.” Techno glares at the forest, hopping onto his horse. “I’m going to see if he spawned in Pogtopia.”

“I’ll check spawn.” Eret says, and he offers his hand to Tubbo. “You should come with me, he’ll be more comfortable if you’re there.”

Tubbo takes his hand, silently thankful that he doesn’t have to stay with Schlatt or Nikki again. He doesn’t mind the group, really, he doesn’t, but he can’t deal with their constant ‘are you okay’s and ‘you should take a break’s. It’s as though the pair put aside their problems with each other to focus their energy on him, and Tubbo can’t stand it. It’s a nice sentiment, but he’ll kill them if they ask him again.

“Tubbo, are you-”

“If you ask me if I’m okay I’ll install a hack and fucking destroy your castle, Eret.” Tubbo glares at the ground. “What’s Dream going to do? Kick me out? He killed Tommy!”

“Why does it bother you so much this time?” Eret asks, curiosity in their voice.

“I don’t know.” Tubbo admits. “I guess I just thought that he’d help Tommy out.”

“Maybe he did.” Eret says. “Maybe he got Tommy away from Wilbur, we won’t know until we see him, after all.”

“I don’t think he killed him to help Tommy out.” Tubbo glares at the dirt, as though it was the dirts fault that his friend is missing. “But you know Dream better than I do, what do you think?”

Eret stares out towards the sunset, as the pair walk towards the secret entrance to the spawn chunk. Eret sighs deeply, adjusting their glasses onto their face and running their hands through their hair. “I think that you’re right.” They admit. “Dream doesn’t do anything to help anyone else unless it means that he can use it to his advantage.”

They enter spawn, and find it empty, as though no one had been there in a very long time.

---

“Tommy! Tommy I’m here!” Techno yells, running down the steps to Pogtopia. He doesn’t care that Quackity followed him, or that Nikki watches him with worried eyes. Composure be damned, his little brother needs him.

The trio race through Pogtopia, searching every nook and cranny for the youngest member of the server. Nikki screams her voice hoarse in the forest surrounding Pogtopia, and Quackity scours the nether without seeing hide nor hair of the teen. Techno tears the ravine apart, searching for the boy. None of them see him, and as Quackity and Nikki return to Pogtopia, to help Techno, they find him in Tommy’s room, gently holding onto something. They exchange glances, noticing how Techno’s communicator rests on the bedside table, his messages unchecked.

He doesn’t know that Tommy hadn’t respawned in a place that they can find him. He doesn’t know that Tommy could be anywhere. He doesn’t know that Dream didn’t free the boy.

“Techno?” Quackity’s voice is quiet, and he sinks down next to the man. “We couldn’t find him.”

“I should have taken him with me last night.” Techno breathes, and Nikki pulls him into a hug.

“You couldn’t have, Wilbur killed you.” Nikki says. “It’s alright, Techno. I’m sure Tommy’s alright.”

“He didn’t respawn at spawn, did he?” Techno asks, and the look on Quackity’s face, one of complete despair, answers louder than any words could. “I need- I could,” Techno’s voice is shaky, upset. “Dad. I need to tell Dad.”

“You can call him now,” Quackity helps Techno to his foot, pushing the crown further back onto Techno’s head. “We’ll wait.”

“Thank you.” Techno says, leaving the ravine that he spent months in. Nikki brushes tears from her eyes, and Quackity pulls her into a hug.

“We’ll find him.” Quackity promises. “We’ll make sure he’s okay.”

---

“Wilbur, please let me out!” Tommy yells, his eyes tired and empty. “Please, I promise I won’t leave this base I just hate small spaces please, Wil!” Tommy bangs his fist on the door, his eyes wide and pleading as he looks up to his older brother.

“I can’t let you out, Tommy.” Wilbur sounds sad, regretful almost. It confuses Tommy, making him wonder what the hell is going on with Wilbur. “I can’t let you get hurt. Schlatt wants to permakill you, I wont let him. So you have to stay in here.”

“Please Wil.” Tommy begs, watching helplessly as Wilbur seals the door with a layer of cobble. Tommy rests his head against the cool metal of the iron, tears falling down his face. “Please.”

---

“It’s been two days!” Tubbo yells, glaring at Schlatt. “We have to go get him, now!”

“We don’t know where he is, Tubbo.”

“Then let me hack!”

“Absolutely not!” Nikki says, standing up. “You’ll be kicked the second that Dream finds out!”

“I could do it.” Fundy says. “I’m good at coding, hacking can’t be too hard.”

“Fundy-” George goes to protest, before shaking his head. “-It’s too risky. Sure, you’ve got more protection from Dream than Tubbo has, but Dream isn’t dumb. He’d know that Tubbo taught you.”

“We need to find Tommy-”

“And we will.” Eret says, standing up from his throne. “But we first need to separate into search parties, to coordinate groups so that there's an even amount of fighters in each group. We will need people here to man the fort and make sure that Wilbur and Dream don’t blow everything sky high, and to be prepared to deal with injuries. We’ll need groups to search everywhere and everything, to be packs for weeks of searching.” Eret takes a deep breath in, their voice quiet. “It takes time to plan these sorts of things, Tubbo. We need to make sure everything is correct or else we’ll be wasting time.”

“We’re playing with his life!” Tubbo protests, and everyone makes noises of protest, except for one.

“I know.” Eret sighs. “But we have to trust that Tommy is strong enough to hold out until we can find him.”

“A few days could make the difference between life and death.”

“I know.”

“And we’re just going to hope that he’ll be fine?”

“It’s all we can do, right now.” Eret sighs, a sad expression on their face. “I wish it was different. I really do. I wish we were just looking for Wilbur and Dream to have a final showdown and then we could send them both off to therapy, to get them help. But it's a rescue mission, and we have to do this right.”

Techno stands, walking out of the room. Everyone stares after him, no one knowing what to do, why he would leave. Nikki walks to the window he was gazing out of and gasps, seeing something, someone she doesn’t know anymore.

---

“You called Phil.” Wilbur says plainly, sitting on the castle walls. Techno glares up at him, and Wilbur laughs. “Oh, don’t give me that look, we both know that you did! Is he coming?”

“Wil-”

“Did he even pick up?” Wilbur asks quietly, almost sadly. Techno looks away, not knowing what to say. The truth would make Wilbur think he’s right, the lie would only serve to hurt them all.

“No.” The truth is spoken, and it can’t be taken back. “He didn’t pick up.”

“I thought so.” Wilbur sighs. “He never comes for you, does he?”

“Don’t make this about me.”

“You’re always ignored, left behind by him. By us.” Wilbur puts him hand on Techno’s shoulder. “We’ve treated you so poorly that you’d betray us. And I just wanted to apologise for that.”

A notification buzzes on the pairs communicators, and Wilbur pulls it out, looking at it. His face pales, and he looks at Techno with wide eyes, as though whatever is said is terrifying. Their communicators buzz again, and Wilbur quickly runs towards his horse, offering his hand to Techno.

“Somethings slaughtering Tommy.” Wilbur says, and Techno takes his hand, leaving with his brother.

TommyInnit was suffocated trying to escape Dream TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated

“We have to go now!” Tubbo screams, pushing Eret. “We have to go help him! Give me my fucking keyboard I don’t care if I get banned!”

“You should!” Eret argues back. Nikki nods, while the room watches the pair argue, a mixture of horror and anger on everyone’s faces.

“Well I don’t!” Tubbo screams back, tears racing down his face, flushed red with anger. “I don’t care if I’m banned, Tommy needs our help!”

“Where will you go?” Eret asks. “If you get banned for hacking you realise that other servers won’t exactly want you on them, right?”

“Then I’ll go to a world by myself!” Tubbo’s voice breaks, his face falling. “Please Eret, we have to get him back.”

“Then we should follow Wilbur.” Schlatt says, walking towards the door. “Tubbo, stay here with Eret and Nikki, we’ll message you if we need you to hack. Quackity, Punz, Sap and George follow me.”

TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated TommyInnit was suffocated

It burnt as it forced its way down his throat. Swimming in sand and gravel and concrete powder, the only way to tell the three apart is through textures that he doesn’t bother to differentiate anymore. It’s too hard to move, anymore. It’s almost like he’s floating in the different textures, though it’s all he can feel. It burnt. It still burns. Tears spring in his eye, though he doesn’t have the energy to let them fall anymore. He doesn’t have the energy to do much anymore, just to let himself suffocate in the shit Dream put on him.

He used to struggle. It feels like he’s been there for years, struggling and fighting against the inevitable. Dream coming into his cell with a netherite sword and anger feels like it happened centuries ago, the fear gone. His eyes close, and he opens his mouth and lets more gravel fall into his lungs, waiting for the blissful moments between death and life.

TommyInnit was suffocated

Techno urges the horse to run faster, worry eating at his stomach. Who would spawn trap his little brother? Why would Dream fight Tommy if he’s already trapped somewhere? Why would Wilbur help him find Tommy?

Is Wilbur back?

The horse jumps over a tree, Wilbur leaning into the action. Techno takes out a crossbow, and a skeleton dissipates into a cloud of smoke. A buzz sounds from his pocket.

TommyInnit was suffocated

Schlatt runs, following the horse’s footprints deeper into the forest, a sinking feeling setting in his stomach. This feels too staged, too much as though Wilbur brought himself to Eret’s castle to sway Techno back to his side. Still, he’s determined. He can bring Tommy to safety. He’ll even give the teen citizenship again if it means that he’ll stay away from Wilbur.

His lungs ache, and his feet and calves burn from exhaustion. He keeps running, Sapnap and Punz falling behind to fight the mobs that quickly spawn around them. Schlatt only grunts in response to Sapnap, telling them to keep following the trail.

They can’t afford to be too late. Tommy is too young to perma-die because someone doesn’t know the laws of the universe.

TommyInnit was suffocated

“We need bandages, health and regen pots and honey.” Nikki orders, sending people across both of the countries to find the items she needs. Tubbo paces nervously, Eret not allowing him out of sight from the fear that he’d do something stupid.

He would. But Eret doesn’t need to know that.

“Tubbo, please stop pacing.” Eret asks him quietly, wrapping his cape around the teen’s shoulders. “We have to trust that Schlatt, George, Sapnap and Punz will bring him back.”

“They’ll kill him. They’ll permakill him.” Tubbo’s eyes go dark. “I know they will. They’re monsters.”

TommyInnit was suffocated

Wilbur was supposed to be back by now. Dream watches as Tommy turns into a fine dust once more, waiting for the man to return. He taps his foot, his sword in his hand. He doesn’t want to kill Techno, but if the hybrid loses a finger or an arm while he’s decommissioning him, well.

Dream wouldn’t necessarily mind that. He would even consider it a blessing, taking Techno down a peg.

Horses hoover thunder over the horizon, and Dream’s smile widens under his mask, patting the top of Tommy’s head. He enderpearls to the top of a tree, watching as the two brothers run towards where he had pulled Tommy and his bed to.

Wilbur plays his role well. Dream can’t wait to see how this act will end.

TommyInnit was suffocated

The kingdom is silent. Tubbo stares out the window, catching himself as he slowly lulls himself to sleep, waiting for Tommy to arrive. He pulls Eret’s cape close to himself, blinking as he struggles to stay awake. Nikki sleeps on Eret’s throne, the medical supplies lying nearby. Eret stay awake, pacing the rooms and corridors of the castle. No one else remained, having left to return to the comfort of their own beds.

Sapnap and Punz had returned a few hours before midnight, talking in hushed whispers about mobs and losing the president and his cabinet. Nikki had told them that there would be a search party for the group if they do not return before dawn. Had sworn it to them. All parties involved had wondered why she wasn’t president, in that moment.

None had dared to ask her out loud, though Tubbo was close to.

It had been two hours since Sapnap and Punz had left, and at least four hours since Tommy’s last death message in chat. Not comforting, not uncomfortable. Eret scrolls through his messages, hoping and praying for a message from anyone, even Wilbur or Dream. Maybe its just hope that he’ll get a message telling him that Tommy is alright, maybe it’s fear about hearing the worst, but he remains awake, watching Tubbo struggle to remain awake.

Tubbo’s head lolls onto the window pane, and Eret notices his breathing even, the teen falling into a sleep that Eret can only pray is peaceful. The man picks up Tubbo, carrying him to a spare bedroom and gently tucking him into bed. He shuts the door, walking out into the garden.

The air is cool, nipping at his skin unpleasantly. He misses the warmth that summer brings, but the autumnal air doesn’t feel uncomfortable just yet. His communicator buzzes. Once. Twice. Thrice, before his fingers fumble and he picks it up, not bothering to find out who is calling him.

“Eret!” Phil’s voice crackles over the communicator. “Techno called me, said something’s wrong. That Wilbur kidnaped Tommy and gone insane. But he’s not picking up anymore. Do you know where they are?”

“Tommy was trapped in a death loop the last time I saw Techno or Wilbur.” Eret admits, staring at the moon. “I don’t know what’s happened to any of them. They haven’t sent a message in at least four hours. And the last message was a death notification for Tommy, so that hardly counts.”

“Tommy was still dying at eight?” Phil’s voice is fearful, quiet. “Do you know what was killing him?”

“He first suffocated trying to get away from Dream, then it was just suffocation.” Eret feels tears being to pool in his eyes. “I don’t know if I want the answer to if he’s still alive. He died so many times, the poor thing will be traumatised beyond recognition if...”

Neither of them finish the sentence, the idea of Tommy’s demise hanging heavily over their heads. Eret paces the garden, watching the flowers sway in the breeze. They need someone to come, to save everyone and make everything go back to normal.

“Who went to go rescue him, besides Wilbur and Techno?”

“Schlatt, George and Quackity. Sapnap and Punz also went, but they returned two hours ago when the mobs got too hard for them to fight. The group separated because of mobs, apparently.” Eret frowns. “Punz said it was unnatural, how many were spawning.”

“Could Dream have spawned them in to keep Tommy and the others where he had them?” Phil asks quietly.

“I don’t know.” Eret admits. “Probably.”

“I’ll meet you at spawn. I’ll bring the captain as well, I’m assuming Tubbo is trying to hack?” Phil’s voice is light, but it carries a heavy threat for Wilbur and Dream.

“I only just got him to sleep.” Eret runs his hands through his hair. “See you soon.”

#fic #dream smp #im not tagging everyone #angst #whump

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