#please tag with whether you enjoy uni or not

[ribbonskiss]

THE LEANOVER → OP81

Part 2 of 2. Read Part 1 here.

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x reader

Summary: You come home on uni break to find your brother’s best friend, Oscar, is visiting. You both fall back into old habits, but some things are not the same.

Tags: brother’s best friend, friends to lovers, slow burn, SMUT (18+), masturbation, Jack Doohan is from Melbourne in this one for logistical reasons, not proofread at all hah

A/N: finally!!! The end of The Leanover!!!! Sorry for the extended deadline, this one turned out chunkier than I expected and honestly I don’t know if I’m quite satisfied with it but it is what it is. Anyway, enjoy!

Oscar is a handsome boy. This is a fact you find to be so uncontroversial it may as well be accepted as a universal truth. There has never been a time where girls did not whisper amongst themselves when he would enter a room, where the mothers of his friends would not rave with great emphasis to his about how strong and handsome he’d become, where his presence at a function did not brighten up the place, because not only is he handsome, he is beautiful. Beautiful people are magnetic, you think; their beauty lies in their nature, their fundamental quality of supernatural grace, a gift bestowed by the forces that be towards the lucky few.

You recall his last year of high school. You were sixteen, still growing into your body and learning how to use a felt-tip eyeliner pen. Teenagers are fascistic about social hierarchy; they are greatly cognisant of their standings in the high school pecking order, intensely anal about preserving the rigidity of the structure, and thus you had long accepted your status as the forgotten sibling. Oscar and your brother were athletes, students with clout attached to their names; you were awkward, unaware of your own intensity, intimidating to a fault, but more than happy to lay low. Two individuals of such different standings in the social order should never interact—but for the first (and only) time you were now going to the same house parties and birthday bashes, and here was the greatest display of Oscar’s beauty. You can never forget that image: the figure of him standing on the other side of the room, so broad-shouldered and trim, freckles of sun damage littered over his skin all the way down his neck like constellations, his head turned away from you to reveal his chiselled jaw as he speaks to someone while holding a can of Reschs. And suddenly his eyes would meet yours, catching you in the act, and he’d give you a gentle smile.

You were always so grateful for this. So grateful he would look your way and beam so brightly, a glimpse of his inner calmness, his quiet gentle bliss. You were never under the impression you were the only one to be so blessed by his grace; you were just happy to be around him. Sometimes when he would come over, sprawl himself over your couch or lay on the floor, pissing himself laughing at your brother’s antics into the late hours of the night, you’d ask yourself whether you should feel guilty for being the only witness to this part of his life. This secret of his: that Oscar is so much more beautiful than most people will ever know. Not his fans, not his colleagues, not the majority of the world. This is between you and him.

And now you have him all to yourself. A bit greedy, isn’t it? The past week you’ve spent together has been nothing short of lovely. You find out that he’s strangely disciplined. Oscar’s a dutiful housemate, doing the chores you even forget about without the need to be prompted, unlike most guys his age. He likes to hum to himself when he’s got the vacuum going and he thinks you can’t hear him butcher the tune of “Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel. He’s a good cook who prefers careful measurement over eyeballing. He doesn’t read books like you do, but he’s happy to lie on the couch all day and watch a show with you on the telly. And he’s surprisingly touchy—he seems most pleased when you’re both on the couch, your legs crossed and stretched out, resting on top of his, his hand on your foot, thumb rubbing circles into your skin. You don’t speak during these moments. Nothing needs to be said; things just sort themselves out.

At some point in the afternoon you get tired, yawning to yourself, and without even needing to look at you Oscar reaches over, tugs at your arm to tell you wordlessly to turn around. You oblige; your head against his chest, his fingers trail up your forearm to your shoulders and, eventually, the back of your neck, smoothing over the soft, fine hairs that reside there. You’re too tired to mind the goosebumps the feeling of his fingertips on your skin gives you, or the increasing thump-thump-thump of his heartbeat underneath you. You shift in his arms, folding your legs up in a way that makes the hem of your shorts ride up, exposing the curve of your thighs all the way up towards the swell of your—well… It would be so uncouth for him to look there.

It never occurs to either of you that the hardest part of the process is done. The feeling returns: the feeling that arises in you when he looked at you from across the room at those parties all those years ago. The feeling of knowing that person so incredibly well. Of sharing a secret together, and letting that secret grow bigger and bigger until it takes on a life of its own. Of sharing that life together. These things do just sort themselves out, but you would never know until you speak of it.

You are growing increasingly needy. There’s no other way to put it. You’re fucking dying. The heat of the dry, punishing Australian summer is starting to get to you, even with how skimpy your attire has gotten, and having him around twenty-four seven is starting to feel more like divine punishment than intervention. You were wrong all along: Oscar is not an angel, but a demon sent to terrorise you all your life until you give in and the Devil can steal your soul for all of eternity.

He works out every other day. That’s at least three days where he’ll disappear into another room in the afternoon for hours, slips right out just to slip into the bathroom, and then waltz back into the living room as if nothing has happened. But something has happened.

Oscar has a very basic wardrobe at home. He likes his soft, mild colours—dark greys and soft whites, beige tones, navy and olives… It’s very on brand for him, yes. And here he is again, today, emerging from the bathroom, a cloud of steam following him out the door as he runs a hand through his slightly damp hair. He’s wearing a crisp heather grey t-shirt, fresh from the pile of laundry you’d folded yesterday. The sleeves can barely withstand the size of his biceps; he’s just gotten new dumbbells in. And god, the smell of his skin, the musk of him mixed with the soft clean scent of soap still radiating off of him. It’s like crisp hot white bedsheets, fresh out the dryer, already crumpling under the weight of two lovers, bodies sticky from tangling into each other; like soft detergent left out in the garden, where the grass is freshly cut, and the warm sun hits your skin.

This is as close to a primal urge as it will ever get for you. The first few times you could just tell yourself to look away, but now the smell of him is unavoidable, overwhelms your senses, and lights your entire body on fire. You stick your nose into your book the entire time and pray he goes away. Oscar retreats into the kitchen and wonders if your book is really so good that you’d be that engrossed by it. He’ll have to start reading again soon.

“The worst thing a woman can do,” you say, hand in the air with great feeling, “is be cut down in her prime by a man.”

Three beers in and you’re starting up your great tirade already. Oscar watches with an amused smile as he sits on the grass, green Peroni bottle in hand. “I know it sounds so pathetic and untrue, but it is true,” you continue, pacing back and forth with a giggle. “It’s true! I’m so much better off now. No offence, Osc, you’re one of the good ones.”

“I’m very flattered.”

“You should be,” you nod.

He reaches over and grabs a fresh beer from the esky, flicks the cap off with the belt he’s taken off, and hands it to you. You thank him; “just trying to stay in your good graces, missy,” he chuckles.

You sigh, taking a swig of it as you look up to the sky. “Frankly, I’m glad that part of my life is over already,” you say. “I’m not happy to admit it, but for a long time, I had just thought of myself as undesirable. Invisible.”

Oscar furrows his eyebrows with great concern, an ocean tide of emotion threatening to wash over him. “Impossible.”

“Possible,” you nod, with a bitter smile that’s less regretful than accepting of your past. “You know. Surely you remember.”

Of course he does. He remembers every little thing, because they’re not little to him. He remembers it all, how he’d scare off sleazy, drunken boys from approaching you at parties. Even after he graduated, the threat remained: you mess with her, you mess with Oscar Piastri, the F1 big shot. Boys never looked your way because of that; he used to hold you by the end of the party, sitting on the porch of whatever house you’re at, you latching onto him in your drunken half-slumber, both of you silently wallowing in your desires. Drowning, suffocating in each other’s warmth. Then he’d stay over at your house and wait until your brother fell asleep to press his ear against the wall, listening to your muffled sobbing. You were always too eager to suffer alone, to make a martyr of yourself and accept the cards you had been dealt.

But you stand tall now, a soft smile on your face suggesting a great deal of growth. It’s what he’s always found so beautiful in you. Beauty, he thinks, lies in the spirit, an ability to have infinite love and bliss in the face of the frustrations of one’s life. You are a complete soul, whole in ways he may never be, capable of learning to love over and over again and of light-heartedness in the face of turmoil. He knows he cannot truly achieve this because you are his Achilles’ heal. He cannot bear to think of you off on your own without him, doing things with other slimy ratty boys, going places he may never know of. Having a life without him in it. Oscar frowns; had he been too selfish in denying you all your opportunities? You had graduated high school without losing your virginity, without ever being in a relationship, and he wasn’t sure your first kiss would even count as a kiss. He can’t imagine how much that must’ve crushed you—and he was away, far away on his stupid little racing circuits instead of being at home, comforting you, as he should’ve been.

You wave it all off, as if you could hear his thoughts. “Well, I’ve done all of it now anyway, and I’m happy to report that it’s not for me.”

He cocks up an eyebrow. “And what exactly is ‘it,’ Tiny?”

“The hookup thing,” you shrug.

Oscar’s chest feels like it could explode; cold flashes wash all over him. “Oh?”

You playfully shush him. “Don’t tell my family, okay?” you chuckle. “But, yes. I tried it. It was good, until it wasn’t. Very quickly I realised I’m kinda, like, spiritually forty. I need to stretch in the mornings and tuck in by eleven.”

“And kick-ons aren’t until at least one,” he tuts. “You’re always been a sleepy girl.”

“That is true,” you nod, taking another sip of your Peroni. “Anyway, it was worth it, at the very least just to get it all out of my system. I’m very comfortably single now.”

The sky is darker than it should be. The sun has already tucked itself away, and it’s not even evening time yet. “You know, it’s so cliché,” you continue. “That Sally Rooney quote, it’s just like that. I went to uni and got pretty. And all of a sudden men saw me—I mean, I was pretty much invisible before. Before in school, when you and my brother were still around, guys used to do this stupid, horrible thing where they wouldn’t speak to me, they’d just speak to you instead. Even when the topic was about me. Well, no one knows I grew up with Oscar Piastri when I’m at ANU. I’m just me, and I’ve got a nice haircut and a decent rack of tits. And they see me, they see me now and I realise now that they’re all just sort of stupid. I’m very sorry, Oscar, but boys are stupid.”

“No need to apologise,” he snickers softly. It makes you smile a little wider. “But surely they were not all so bad?”

“No, I really don’t know how to pick ‘em. They really were all that bad,” you chuckle, eyes creasing as your cheeks push up in laughter. “Think the best one might’ve been the guy I lost my virginity to.”

Oscar’s eyes widen. He hums, pretends to be normal about it. “Tell me more,” he says.

You nod and oblige. “It was early in the school year. I went on four dates with him,” you start. “He seemed right on paper. Double major, worked for a diplomat, spoke two languages and was well-travelled. Maybe a bit pedestrian in his taste in music and films, but it didn’t bother me so much. We talked okay. He knew what to do, how to be courteous, held doors open and shit—I didn’t know what the whole dating thing was meant to be like, and I was easily impressed. He took me back to his after the fourth date and we listened to his vinyls: corny 70s Greatest Hit compilations and his favourite Kanye albums.”

You take a break, pulling out a thing of lip balm and unscrewing the cap before squeezing it out. “He told me he used to take ballroom lessons for some weird high school thing he did, and he twirled me in his arms, and it made me feel so light and small and girlish that I felt like I was floating.” Your finger spreads the balm over your lips, the feeling cool and tingly on your skin. “He told me I was funny. He kissed me, and his stubble was so sharp and gritty against my skin that it gave me traction acne the day after. He held my hand the whole time. He was an awful kisser. Just kept jamming his tongue in. But it was sweet enough. No one’s first time is good, anyway.”

Oscar tries to swallows down the lump stuck in his throat. His fingers and toes are tingling, chest tight and contracting still. You take another swig. “I’ve had too many of these,” you say.

“You’ve had three, Tiny.”

“That’s more than enough for me,” you shrug, yawning as you set the bottle down on the wooden table outside in your garden. “I think I’d better fuck off to bed now. Sleep tight, Osc.”

He doesn’t sleep in your brother’s bed that night. No, he takes out the spare mattress again and drapes the spare velvet blanket over himself, because he could never forgive himself if he jerked off in his best friend’s bed to the thought of his best friend’s sister. No, there would be no good excuse for that, but tonight is one of those nights where a man simply cannot hold himself back anymore. The alcohol is still burning in his stomach; when Oscar shuts his eyes, all he can see is these elaborate images crafted by his mind’s eye of you, placed in all the scenarios you’d described to him, only replacing that dirty fucker was him, being so gentle and delicate and loving, just how you deserve it. It should have been him there instead to do it all right; it is true that losing one’s virginity is often an awkward affair, his own experience was no less lousy, but if anyone were to have a perfect instance of it it should be you. Oscar can see it all now, how he’d go about it. Holding onto your soft curves as he pushes himself in slowly, the little gasps that would escape your honey-sweet mouth, so warm and wet on his lips. He would die happy, he thinks to himself, as his hand roughly palms his length, hair dampening from sweat in the blistering summer night heat. Cicadas sing outside his window; he heaves wildly, chest rising and falling dramatically as his hand gets slicker with each stroke. He had no idea he could even leak that much.

Thank god you’re sound asleep. He grips tightly onto the soft blanket, balling it in his fist as his eyes shut again tightly, the guttural noise he lets out much louder than he intended. Then Oscar collapses; his limbs go slack, heart beating out of his chest still as he lets out a long, drawn-out sigh, hand now sticky with his spent. The mattress is damp with his sweat. If he wasn’t before, he’s royally fucked now.

Your parents called; they’ll be home on Christmas Eve, but only in the afternoon, and they’re picking your brother up as well. Which means the two of you have some shopping to do; the house should be looking festive in time for their arrival. Oscar pushes the shopping cart, following you deep into the maze that is Kmart. He helps you haul the Christmas tree box in and out of his car. And he watches as you pull its branches down, giving it shape before littering it with baubles and tinsel. And when it comes time to finish the tree, you look him with bright eyes. He smiled at you, takes the Angel Gabriel out of your hands and places it on top of the tree carefully. You put on your silly little Santa hats and poorly bake gingerbread men.

You never end up throwing the rager Oscar jokingly suggested, but you do hold a small get-together after running into some old schoolmates at the shops. So it turns out that a few girls you used to do drama class with are in town, and of course anyone Oscar invites is going to show up—he’s Oscar fucking Piastri—so here you are, with a decent turnout of people currently congregated in the back garden and the living room. You’re thankful enough of them showed up on such short notice, with Christmas Eve only a few days away, and you’re thankful everyone seems to have gotten more civil and mature since you’ve left school.

The doorbell rings more than once, and you peel yourself off of the couch to go answer it, Balter tinnie in hand now that you’re all out of Peronis. Your eyes widen once you fling the door open, revealing a familiar face, standing with a smile on his face and a couple guys behind him.

“Surprise,” Jack chuckles.

“Doohan in the flesh,” you quip with a smile. “You cheeky boy. Since when were you in town?”

“Since yesterday,” he shrugs, and the guys behind him file past you into the house at the sight of some of their mates. “Heard you were throwing a thing with Big Shot Oscar. Hope you don’t mind that I’m crashing—I come bearing gifts.”

You shake your head. “Of course not, no, I’m glad to see you,” you say, though you sigh at the sight of the twelve-pack he’s got in his hands. “Mate, Strong Zero? It’s not that kind of party.”

“Some of us can handle our liquor,” Jack laughs, putting the pack in your arms before smoothing his hair back. “Don’t spoil the fun for the rest of us.”

You roll your eyes, turning your back to him as you walk down the hallway back to the kitchen. “Congratulations, by the way,” I say. “I’m glad to see two of our finest graduates succeeding.”

“I can tell. You’re beaming, clearly,” he jokes, following you in. “It was never in doubt for Oscar, anyway, so I think I deserve a bigger congratulations for making it, no?”

You peel apart the drink packaging, the tins of drink coming loose on the kitchen counter. “Let me get this straight: you want me to be more proud of you for being a worse driver than Oscar?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“I’m just repeating your words, Jack-Jack.”

“Never said I was a worse driver,” he snickers, shaking his head as he folds his arms over his chest. “You snuck that in yourself. But I always knew you were biased, so I won’t take offence to that, Tiny.”

You turn over your shoulder, glaring at him. Dramatically, he throws his hands up in a display of surrender, but your conversation is cut short.

“Well, well, well,” Oscar grins, strolling into the kitchen and approaching Jack with wide arms. “Fancy seeing you here, F1 driver.”

“Fancy seeing you here, F1 driver,” Doohan beams, dapping Oscar up before pulling him into a hug. “How you been, mate, good?”

“Nah, yeah,” Oscar chuckles, glancing back to you with a smile. “It’s been a splendid break for me. You been good? Didn’t realise you were back.”

“Yeah, just landed yesterday,” Jack nods, a hand on the back of his neck. “Heard you two were doing a thing, thought I’d be jet lagged out of my mind but nah. Wouldn’t miss this.”

You notice Jack’s a little taller than Oscar, who’s having to tilt his head up a little. “Appreciate you showing up, mate,” the older one says. “I’m gonna go catch up with some of your mates, but stick around, yeah?”

“Absolutely, man,” the younger one says with a smile. “Good seeing you again.”

Then Oscar leaves, fingers gliding over the skin of your cheek in passing, a gentle action of tenderness, as if to say goodbye wordlessly. Doohan wiggles his eyebrows. “What the fuck was that?”

“What was what?” you exclaim, eyes avoiding his gaze as you snatch a Strong Zero for yourself.

“That,” he presses on, finger extended now to point to where Oscar had put his hand on your cheek. “The little hand-cheek-look thing. The fuck? Do you have something to tell me, pal?”

You sigh, shaking your head. “Please mate, just be normal—”

“Don’t gaslight me,” Jack says, as stern as he can be.

“He’s been living in my home!” you gasp. “Of course we’re a little close!”

“Living in your home—”

“Not by choice,” you roll your eyes. “Just—my family’s all out of town right now. He’s kind of all I have at the moment.”

“Agh!” Jack groans, smacking himself on the forehead. “Genius move. Fuck, I should’ve locked you two in a room myself years ago—”

You put the tin back onto the counter and slowly turn to face him. “Excuse me?”

He frowns. “Oh, man,” he pouts. “You don’t mean to tell me you two are still doing the thing?”

“What thing?” you furrow your eyebrows.

“You know, the thing,” he says, eyes innocent and wide as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. “The weird game you two play. I thought you guys would have gotten over it already.”

Your breath hitches in your chest, making you stammer and go red in the face as your confusion worsens. Jack notices this. “What, you really don’t know?”

“No, Jack, I do not,” you manage to breathe out. “Please, enlighten me.”

He shakes his head, lets out a strange chuckle as he leans back against the wall, having taken a tinnie off the counter. “This would be funny if it weren’t so tragic,” he starts, grimacing. “Oscar used to push guys on the soccer team around for talking about you. He’d go silent whenever you were around and get clammy in the hands. He got weird whenever he’d even hear your name. And I’m sure I don’t have to list out your incriminating actions.”

Needless to say you’re taken aback by this. Eyes wide and blank, you look at him with shock as your mind oscillates between delight and horror, hand resting on your chest as if your heart needs the help. Jack sighs, and after a moment of tense silence he speaks again. “I take it that’s enough proof for you.”

“Why didn’t you say?”

“We thought you knew,” he shrugs. “And it wouldn’t have been my place to meddle, and also, it was kind of amusing to watch.”

You scoff bitterly. “Amusing.”

“Well, not so much now,” Doohan nods.

Silence fills the kitchen again, the chatter outside quiet against the deafening quietness inside. “You do like him, don’t you?” he asks earnestly.

You don’t answer, but all he has to do is look at your solemn face and see the emotions threatening to spill out of you. He comes closer, puts a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Hey. Just take your time, mate.”

You nod, but you hear Oscar’s distinct timbre in the distance, speaking rapidly to someone. You turn your head and see him standing in the living room near the couch, and then—like magnets—he seems to feel your eyes raking over his figure, and meets your gaze as his head turns a little. Suddenly you’re sixteen again. He’s smiling at you like he used to, so fondly and sweetly, all the way from another room. Everything has changed but this feeling is the same. Oscar nods his head gently, as if to tell you ‘I’m doing okay over here, and I hope you are too,’ and you realise he’s dropped out of his conversation now just to look at you. He has always done this.

The hard part is over, but you didn’t know until it was spoken of.

You sweep the crushed cans off the table and into the garbage bag, back starting to hurt from all the cleanup you’ve had to do. Thank the lord they all left early; you haven’t been able to enjoy yourself fully since that talk with Doohan. Since then his words have just been eating away at you the whole night, but you can speak to Oscar just fine, you think. You’re trying your best, at least.

“Jesus, have the lights always been this bright?” he says, and by the way he’s stumbling onto the couch and slurring his words a little, he’s probably more tipsy than he’d like to admit.

You shake your head, turning around to face him. The cans inside the bag you’re holding clank against one another. “Fun night?”

“Not particularly,” he says, eyes shutting as he throws an arm over his face, lying down flat on the couch. “Just, those fucking Strong Zeroes, man.”

“I told Doohan he shouldn’t have!”

“He really shouldn’t have.” Oscar groans, eyes shutting tighter as he tries to push his face into the couch, and you chuckle before going back to cleaning up, moving towards the pile of cans on the kitchen island.

“Don’t leave,” you hear him say behind you.

You turn around, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What?” you say. “I’m not. I’m just going into the kitch—”

“No,” he whines quietly, muffled by the fabric of the couch. “That’s too far. Stay.”

You stand still, still holding the bag in your hand, visibly confused.

“We should always be in the same room,” he continues. “I don’t want to be away from you.”

You flush at his words. You’re not sure if he quite grasps the implications of what he’s saying, but you chalk it all up to his current state—surely he’s just a clingy drunk. You put the garbage bag down against the wall, approaching the couch as he pulls his legs back to make room for you.

You sit down. “Are you feeling alright, Osc?”

“No,” he replies, too quickly for your liking. Oscar shuffles back onto his back, eyes still shut as his tone is reduced to grumbling. “I had this really awful thought the other day that we’re so far apart. I’m off doing my races and now you’re off at uni doing whatever.”

You cock your head to the side, clearly about to protest, but he starts up again. “I just want to know what you’re doing all the time,” he admits. “And how you’re feeling. I miss you all the time, and I wanna know you’re okay.”

“Oscar,” you frown, putting a hand on his arm tenderly. “If you want to stay in touch more, of course we can—”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I don’t want to stay in touch. I wanna be with you.”

You pull your arm back. He winces, missing your touch. “Tiny, this must sound so crazy.”

“No,” you assure him, though you’re struggling to comprehend his words. “I just don’t know what you me—”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

Your blood runs cold even as your stomach shatters and explodes into a million butterflies that feel hot like lava inside of your body. “I know it must sound so crazy,” Oscar chuckles bitterly. “I know it must be so crazy…”

“No,” you shake your head. “I don’t think it’s crazy. I just, I wonder how you’ll feel in the morning.”

“It’s not the alcohol.”

He opens his eyes only to look at you, pupils darting around slowly to find you, the only soothing sight when the lights are still killing him. Oscar smiles a little at your familiar face. “I spoke to Doohan,” he explains.

“Ah,” you mumble, flushing. Of course he did.

He pauses a bit, tries to find the courage to speak again. He finds it in how your eyes seem to shine a little brighter where you’re sitting, mesmerised by how beautiful you are tonight. “He’s right, you know. I feel a bit silly, or stupid rather, like I don’t know how to explain myself.”

“Well,” you chuckle timidly, looking down at your hands. “I would have some explaining to do myself, too.”

Oscar smiles to himself. He takes a moment to catch his breath; he didn’t even realise he’d been holding it in this whole time. “You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear that.”

At his words, you look up to meet his eyes again, to see how he’s smiling now, and it makes your chest expand with warmth, heart pumping fast. “I’ll feel the same in the morning,” he says, sitting up clumsily now just to look at your face better. He doesn’t want to look away ever again. “I promise you that. I’ve felt this way since forever—I just didn’t know the word for it yet.”

Your eyes widen just a little more at his words; you don’t recognise the inexplicable feeling that’s captured your body, but you think this is what he means. The thing he didn’t know the word for. But you know the word for it now.

“I think I love you too,” you say.

Oscar lets out a quiet noise of relief. He finds your hand in your lap, takes it in his, and just holds it. You look at each other for a long while, taking in the details of one another’s faces. “You don’t look a day over seven,” you chuckle, and it makes him grin softly.

“That’s alright. Did you feel then how you feel about me now?” he asks.

“I think you sealed the deal when you helped me get up on my feet after falling off the slide,” you quip with a smile, and he squeezes your hand a little approvingly.

“You remember that.”

“The little things aren’t little to me, either,” you say, and his heart soars at your words. Oscar can’t resist it anymore; he tugs on your hand a little and pulls you into his arms, hands latching onto your waist as he holds you tightly. You fall into each other like magnets. It just feels right, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, but nothing in this world is truly given this way. You had been working for it your entire life, but you’re only knowing this now.

His lips hover over your cheek, and it makes you shiver, but it shouldn’t be like this. “I don’t want our first kiss to be when you’re drunk,” you tell him, pulling away from his flushed face. “It’s… You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this. It just has to be right.”

Oscar swallows dryly, but he nods. “You’re right,” he says, with a gentle smile that tells you he’s being sincere. “You’re right. Not like this.”

He pulls you in again, holding you even tighter this time. You feel his heart beating out of his chest against yours, his warm breath against your skin, the warm his arms keep contracting as if he’s afraid to let you go. A warm waft of air filters through the window, left ajar, and swirls around the two of you, bodies now entangled. Neither of you can find a reason to leave, so you don’t. You never end up cleaning the kitchen that night.

The sun’s starting to filter through your blinds now, and you know you have no excuse to stay in bed anymore, but you don’t have the heart to wake him up. Your brother’s bedroom is probably collecting dust already; ever since that night, Oscar’s been sleeping in your bed now, and you both sleep so much better with a cuddle buddy by your side. He likes to be big spoon, but he’s happy to hold you face to face as well, duh! Why would he upset with getting to see your face, eyes shut so peacefully in slumber? He likes to wake up before you because of this, just so he can catch a glimpse of you so soft and pliable in his arms, comfortably happily asleep, but today you’re the one who wakes up first, stirred awake by the birds chirping outside your window.

You try to slip out of his grasp, but he just tightens his arms around you, furrowing his eyebrows in his sleep. You try again and he does it again, this time with a grumbling noise that makes you chuckle.

“Oscar,” you smile, press a gentle kiss onto his forehead. “They come home today.”

“So?” he grumbles back, eyes still shut as he pulls you in, tucking your head under his chin. “What’s it got to do with us?”

“We’ve got to make them brekky, babe,” you chuckle. You press a kiss to his neck now, before deciding you can’t really resist littering them all over his skin. “They’ll be starving by the time they get here.”

Oscar makes a strange, hushed noise. “Well, doing that certainly won’t get me out of bed.”

You’re confused, but then you realise something’s been pressing up against your thigh, worsened by how he keeps pulling you back into his arms. “Oh my god, Osc,” you yelp. “Just from a few kisses?”

“And maybe a very good dream,” he mumbles back. If he were awake, he’d surely be laughing, pleased with himself.

“You dirty, dirty pervert,” you snicker, but you’re tutting at him in a way that sends a tingle down his spine, and your fingers inching down the trail on his stomach is making him shiver. “You’re shameless.”

“Yeah, but something tells me you like it,” he says, but he can barely finish the sentence before you tug at the waistband of his sweatpants, shimmying them down. His length springs free; your eyes beam a little too brightly at the sight of it, making him laugh.

“Someone’s eager.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been dreaming about riding you into the bed for actual years,” you chuckle, long fingers wrapping around him. “You look delicious in the morning, you know that? All sleepy and dishevelled. It’s very sexy, Osc.”

“Ah?” he says, a moan disguised as a word. Your hand starts to move and he can barely hold himself back. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Your mouth is hovering over his cock now, warm breath making him shiver before your tongue makes contact with his tip, swirling all around the head in a way that makes his eyes roll back. “Holy shit,” you hear him mutter to himself, and you smile as you drag your tongue all over the length of him.

“Babe, I love the teasing,” he breathes out. “But I don’t think I can quite take it this morning.”

You hum to yourself, biting back a cheeky smile as a thought pops up in your head. “You know, you’re right,” you say. “We’re running on a tight schedule. And we could use something that saves time, so… if you’re getting head, you could give it too, no?”

Oscar’s face lights up at your words. “You wanna sit on my face? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I mean, if you’re offering.”

“Fuckin’ hell, any day of the week, missy.”

With that, he puts his hands on your head and pulls you up for a kiss that deepens into a little more. His lips are soft, mouth hot and wet; you feel yourself dampen a little against the cotton of your panties, something he feels too as his hands travel all the way down to your ass, fingers reaching past the fabric of your shorts inside to find the wet patch growing at your cunt. Your fingers hook into the waistband of both layers, tugging them off eagerly as he steadies his hands on your hips again. You turn around, and now Oscar’s got your pussy hovering right over his face. He think he’s salivating at the sight of it. Is that too crude? Jesus christ, it’s just so much fucking better than he could have ever imagined, waking up with you by his side, having the girl of all of his dreams with him now, eating your pussy first thing in the morning.

“You’re not so tiny anymore, hey? You’re a big girl now.”

You flush at his words. “Just get to it, Piastri.”

He needs no further encouragement, hands on your hips pulling you down to his face, tongue flicking a long stripe all the way down your cunt. You cry out at the sudden contact, and you realise very soon that he is very good at what he is doing, soft wet tongue sliding between your folds carefully, lips wrapping gently around your sensitive clit, hands gripping onto the meat of your ass, an action that signifies a clinginess you’d never know from how soft-spoken he is. He eats you out like a hungry man, lapping up the wetness that soaked your panties before eagerly. When you wrap your lips around his cock, taking all of him in until he hits the back of your throat, it makes him groan against your pussy, and it feels so strangely good that you keep throating him just like that every once in a while, just to feel him shift underneath you and thrust into your mouth a little. He wants to be gentle with you so badly, and he is, but he just can’t resist it when you’re doing that.

“Fuck, babe,” Oscar gasps out, pulling away as his fingers continue to rub at your clit. “If you keep doing that thing, I won’t last very long.”

You can tell by his tone he’s slightly embarrassed about taking such little time to get there. “We’ll get there together, I promise,” you say. “Just—ah!—keep using your fingers.”

He smiles, happy to oblige. This time he dips a finger inside you, tongue now swirling around your clit as his finger curls, finding that cushiony spot inside you that makes your back arch a little. There it is. He slips another finger in, tongue flicking fast against you, fingers pumping at a steady pace as you suck his cock sloppily, drool pooling at the base, fingers still wrapped around his length, lazily moving up and down. It’s all too much for the both of you, both moaning and whimpering against one another as your bodies start to get more and more sensitive, responding to each motion with a little more volume. Your back arches, his hips thrust; you know you’re both getting to that climax.

“Babe, fuck—”

“I know,” you gasp, a long mewl drawing out of you as his fingers, soaked in your slick now, keep thrusting in and out of you. “I’m—hah—almost there, too.”

He nods his head eagerly and latches his wet mouth back onto you, eating you out desperately as his hips start to move on their own, filling your mouth and muffling your increasing cries of pleasure as your eyes shut and roll back.

“I can’t take it,” he moans loudly. “Babe, I—oh my god!”

Just as Oscar starts to flood your mouth, you collapse onto him as your orgasm washes over you, leaving you breathless, body slack and limp. “Jesus,” you heave out, flipping onto your back off of him, swallowing all of his load down your throat. The sight of it makes him whimper. You take a good look at him; he’s got your slick all over his face, glistening from his lips down to his chin.

“Christ, I made a mess of you,” you chuckle, embarrassed, but he seems proud of himself.

“A souvenir, yeah?” He jokes, and you push his chest, rolling your eyes, but he pulls you into his arms. “God, that was fuckin’ amazing. You’re fuckin’ amazing.”

You pull the duvet back up over the both of you as you lie down once again, resting your head on his chest now as you look up at him with a smile. You wipe at his mouth with your hand. “There.”

“Aw,” he frowns playfully. “I quite liked it.”

“You fuckin’ pervert,” you say, going to push his chest again but he catches your arm with his hand.

“Don’t get feisty,” Oscar chuckles, shaking his head before pecking you on the forehead. “Let’s just lay here for a bit. And you know, I’ve been thinking.”

Your finger traces shapes on the freckled skin of his bare chest. “About what?”

“About you, coming to see me,” he says. “You know… I was thinking, maybe you could schedule your classes with me in my mind? You know, money’s not an issue. Transport, accommodation, passes, I can take care of all of that. I just need to know you can see me. Not for every race, obviously. But some of them. It’d mean so much to me, Tiny.”

You look up at him now, smiling. “Of course I can,” you nod gently. “It’d mean everything to me too, Osc.”

His face blooms into a smile, eyes raking over the details of your face, savouring it as if he hasn’t a million times before. “Then it’s done,” he says, bringing your hand up to kiss it. “You can’t escape me now.”

“Like I’d ever want to,” you roll your eyes.

Before Oscar can counter with a snarky remark, the door flies open.

“Piastri—seriously? My fucking sister?”

That’s the end! Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Leave em all in my askbox, and again, thank you so much for reading!

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 3

Eminem x Reader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Marshall and Y/N decide to celebrate a sobriety milestone but bad news get in the way.

Tag : -

A few weeks went by and you slowly started to adapt to what you could call your new normal. You were getting used to living with your friends and started working on your doctoral dissertation again, while going to meetings and making it to therapy. Every so often, you’d be invited to hang out in the studio with Talia and the boys and spend a couple of hours with them. However, most of your time was devoted to uni work so you didn’t hang out with them too much. In fact, today would be the first day you’d see them in a couple of weeks. If you were honest, you were particularly excited to see Marshall. The two of you had crossed path a number of times since you went on that drive and you always had a good time when you were with him. At that point, it was safe to say you had developed a harmless crush on him. Nothing major, but you did particularly enjoy looking at him and you were always happy to hug him hello and goodbye. You knew he would never be interested in you, so you simply decided to enjoy the sensation of feeling good in his presence.

The night after the two of you went on a drive, Talia had been grilling you with questions, but there was not much to say. The two of you had not talked about it but you were pretty sure she knew about your crush. She knew you too well anyway. Whatever, it was harmless, although she did make sure to always have you sit next to Marshall whenever she had the chance.

That day, you were happy for three reasons : first, it was Friday, which meant you would enjoy the weekend and some much needed rest from uni. Secondly, you were celebrating two months being sober. It hadn’t been without its trials, but you had made it so far and were extremely proud. Finally, you got to see Marshall. You were all smiles when you pushed the door to the studio and greeted everyone.

- Y/N, we have been waiting for you like you have no idea ! Jamal said.

- Oh really ? You asked in disbelief. Is that because you produce your best work whenever I’m around ? You asked with a smirk.

- Kind of, he answered jokingly. But it’s mostly because Marshall has been in a bad mood all day, which usually doesn’t happen when you’re around. So whatever it is, please work your magic and make our life bearable again, I beg of you, he added as he fell to his knees for good measure, in a very dramatic and theatrical way.

- Speaking of the devil, where is he ?

No one had time to answer your question, as Marshall came in the room, looking unnerved and slamming the door behind him. You looked at Talia, whose look confirmed that he was indeed in a bad mood. Everyone was silent.

- Now can we please give it a couple more tries and get that right ? Marshall asked exasperated.

- We’ve been working on that song for hours and nothing good came out, someone pointed out. How about we circle back to that later ?

- No, Marshall said coldly. We can get that thing to sound right and we will.

- Stubborn much ? Jamal asked jokingly before Marshall shot him a death glare.

You didn’t know if Marshall had seen you there or not but you weren’t sure as to whether or not greeting him was a good idea. You just sat next to Talia and stared at your phone as you were trying to finish reading a paper. You didn’t pay much attention to your surroundings before you heard Marshall slamming his head against the mixing desk.

- Fuck. He said. We’re already behind on schedule. This album is going to be my last, I swear. If it ever even gets done.

- You already said that for the last one, Paul pointed out jokingly.

- Yeah well you know what ? I’m soon to turn fifty-two. I’m too old for that shit anyways, Marshall replied.

- Come on, dude. We have our good luck charm here today, Jamal said pointing at you.

You smiled shyly at Marshall, who seemed to ease a little.

- Hey there, he said before getting up to properly greet you. Sorry I didn’t say hi before. That was rude.

- It’s ok, you said as you hugged him. So… last album before you become an accountant ? You know, you could ask my dad for pointers, you said jokingly.

Marshall laughed and kissed your cheek.

- Ok, maybe I was being a bit dramatic and maybe it won’t be the last one, he said with a laugh.

Jamal looked at the two of you in disbelief, yet smiling.

- So he’s been an ass all day, and now that Y/N has been here for ten minutes, he’s laughing ?

Everyone laughed and Marshall raised his middle finger.

- Now that you’re in a better mood, can we PLEASE take a cigarette break ? Someone asked.

- Fine, Marshall said rolling his eyes, as most people left the room and he went back to his seat, scribbling in this notebook.

After a moment of silence, you decided to talk.

- I have News, you said.

- Good or bad ? He asked without looking up.

- Well, you tell me, you said with a smile, proudly showing your newly-earned sobriety chip.

He greeted you with a smile and pulled you in for a hug.

- I’m proud of you, he said before kissing you on the forehead, making you blush. We should celebrate.

- Really ? How so ?

- Dinner ? He offered.

- That sounds good, you said. How about you come tomorrow night ? I’ll cook !

- I’m intrigued, he said. So you’re beautiful, smart AND you can cook ?

- I would also showcase my dancing abilities, but you’d be too jealous, you joked, trying to distract yourself from the fact that he called you beautiful.

The two of you shared a laugh but were interrupted by people coming back from their break. They resumed the work and, thankfully for everyone, Marshall ended up being pleased by one of the versions they recorded.

The next day, you decided to go shopping for your celebration dinner. You decided to cook some French recipe. « Whatever you want, unless it’s frogs or snails » Talia had told you. A while ago, you may or may not have tried to get your friends to taste snails, which ended up in a complete disaster. You were excited to cook and were in a good mood when you arrived to the store. You quickly grabbed the items you needed but the joy left your body when you reached the register and saw Simon - your Simon - kissing a beautiful woman as they were grabbing a few items. He seemed happy as ever. You could not help but stare at them and wonder for how long they’d been together. Something about their demeanour made it feel like they’d been a couple for ages. As you lowered your gaze, in hope they wouldn’t notice you, Simon called your name.

- Y/N ?

- Simon. Hi, you said.

- You look… well, he pointed out.

- I am, thank you, you replied. How are you ?

- Good. Kind of busy.

- I figured, you couldn’t help but say, quickly staring at the beautiful lady he was with.

- I meant with work.

- Oh. Right. Well I’d love to chat but I have to go. Have a good one.

You paid and quickly left the store. For some reason, you felt humiliated, even though Simon had every right to date whoever he liked. After all, you hadn’t been together for nearly three months. Plus, Simon was the very définition of perfection : handsome, polite, successful. Looking back, it was kind of obvious he wouldn’t have trouble finding someone else. And it wasn’t exactly like he made a promise to wait for you either.

Even though you tried your best not to cry on the way home, you sniffled as you walked through the door.

- Baby, are you alright ? Talia asked.

- I saw Simon, today. Kissing someone.

As soon as the words left your lips, tears started to stream down your cheeks.

- Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry ! She said before giving you a much needed hug.

- I know it’s silly but some part of me thought that… I’d get better and we’d get back together and… and…

- I know. I thought you guys were endgame too, she said sheepishly.

She held you for a while as you sobbed.

- Let’s focus on the positive, honey ! Let’s celebrate those two months of you getting better. I’ll help you cook, she offered.

- Do you mind if we reschedule ? You asked. I don’t feel like celebrating. Or cooking. Or eating, for that matter.

- Are you sure, baby ? Marshall should be here soon. I promise we’ll have a good night, just the four of us, she tried.

- Yeah… can you call him and tell him I’m sorry ? I think I should go to my room and rest for a bit.

You apologised once again and left the items on the kitchen counter before going to your room. You changed into some sweatpants and a tank top and laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It dawned on you that Simon and you were truly over. Even though you tried thinking of something else, you couldn’t help but seeing him with that girl. She was truly beautiful. Probably more deserving of him, too. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing from your eyes. It felt like a fountain. Deep down, you knew it was your fault. You were the one who screwed up. He was the perfect match for you, you screwed up and now, you’d probably end up alone.

You heard a knock on the door.

- I’m fine, Talia, you said while wiping away your tears.

- It’s not Talia, you heard Marshall’s voice say. Can I come in ?

Marshall ? What was he doing here ? You quickly got up and opened the door.

- Hey, you said. I’m sorry, I told Talia to cancel for tonight. I’m feeling a bit under the weather…

- She told me about your ex, he said. But she thought we should do something to get your mind off things. Come here.

He pulled you in for a hug. He grabbed your face in his hands and wiped your tears with his thumbs.

- I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone’s face so swollen after crying, he said with a smile.

- I know, I’m an ugly cryer, you replied.

- Everyone’s ugly when they cry, he pointed out.

- No, that’s not true. Some people manage to stay hot even when they cry.

- Well I’ve never seen that, he said as he shook his head.

- I’m sure Ms. Perfection over there is still beautiful when she cries, you mumbled.

- Who ? Marshall asked, looking confused.

- The girl Simon was kissing. You should have seen her, Marshall. So beautiful. Tall. And blonde. And skinny. And perfect for him in every way. The opposite of me.

You rolled your eyes at the thought of her.

- As beautiful as she may be, I’m sure she can’t compete with you, Marshall said.

- You haven’t seen her, you pointed out.

- I don’t need to, he shrugged.

He was just being nice and you knew it full well. Still, the compliments made you feel a bit better.

- Why don’t you join Talia and Jamal ? Let me just put on something other than sweats and I’ll start cooking.

- I thought you wanted to cancel dinner ? He asked, looking confused.

- Yeah, but Talia still made you come all this way, so I might as well feed you.

- That’s awfully nice of you, he said with a grin.

- Nice of you to come, you said with a shy smile.

- Anything for you, Y/N, he replied with a serious tone. You can call me and I’ll be there.

- Good thing I don’t have your number, you said with a smile. You’d never live in peace otherwise.

- Let’s correct that, shall we ?

He grabbed your phone and entered his number in it.

- Now you can call me, he said. Anytime.

- Thanks, Marshall.

You gave him a shy smile and immediately rang him so he’d have your number too.

- I can help you cooking if you want, he offered. But I should warn you : I’m not too good at it.

- You’re a grown man and you can’t cook ? You asked in disbelief.

- Well I guess I can prepare food. I even worked as a short-order cook, a long time ago. I wouldn’t call that cooking though. Neither would my kids, he said with a grin.

- I’ll teach you a thing or two, then. Let me just get dressed.

- Why ? He asked. We’re staying in. You don’t have to make an effort for me.

You shrugged and headed to the kitchen with him. Truth was, you didn’t want Marshall to think of you as sloppy. Even though he did not really seem to care.

When you entered the kitchen, you found Jamal and Talia hugging and kissing like teenagers.

- You guys are too cute. I can’t handle that right now, you said.

- Yeah, please don’t rub your happiness in our single faces, Marshall pleaded.

- Sorry guys, I’m too in love with this gorgeous lady, Jamal said.

Both you and Marshall pretended to puke. The four of you laughed and started cooking together while listening to music. You tried teaching them how to prepare some traditional French chicken dish. It was a simple one but you hadn’t exactly been given the most attentive students. Marshall was desperately trying to cut the vegetables correctly (nearly destroying them in the process), while Talia and Jamal kept on making out like teenagers. You ended up preparing the dish by yourself. It wasn’t perfect but the group deemed it to be good enough.

- Don’t worry Y/N. If you keep cooking like that, we’ll find you a husband soon enough, Jamal complimented.

- JAMAL ! Talia shouted.

- Sorry. Wrong timing, he apologised. You know what I mean.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Jamal was really sweet and you knew he meant well.

- it’s good to hear you laugh, Talia said as she grabbed your hand.

- Thanks for being here, guys, you replied. My day sucked but you make it better.

- Anytime, Marshall said.

The four of you kept the conversation going but were soon disturbed by the door buzzing. Talia went to answer.

- Hey Talia. Is Y/N here ? I’d like to speak to her, you heard an all too familiar voice say.

- Simon ? You asked as your heart started racing. What are you doing here ?

[bwabys-scenarios]

Pls feed us Leorio girlies, please give us Headcannons. We are starving on the side of the road with no food, nary a NSFW Headcannon to keep us warm during the cold, cold winters. Please, donate your Leorio Headcannons to feed a starving fandom. ( I luv ur work btw it gets me through senior year of uni 🥰)

Leorio SFW/NSFW HCs

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

REQUESTS OPEN

warning: overstimulation, sex toys, oral(f+m receiving), pegging, period sex, nudes, mutual masturbation, cockwarming, dry humping

A/N: THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST I LOVE HIM DEARLY❤️❤️🙏🙏

taglist: @desiray562

if you would like to be added to the NSFW taglist, comment a ❤️!! make sure you have your AGE in your bio, and that you’re able to be tagged/mentioned!

SFW

-he’s literally the perfect man

-because he’s a doctor it’s not easy to gross him out. bled through during your period? he’s getting you a change of clothes and starting a bubble bath. threw up due to the flu/morning sickness? he’ll hold back your hair and whisper comforting words, saying you’ll be okay and it’ll be over soon

-you are his everything, he shows you off to his friends and is so happy they like you/you like them!!

-he will do pretty much anything to see your smile or make you laugh

-he absolutely ADORES you. calls you his princess, lovebug, sweet thing, sunshine

-absolute cuddlebug!! he loves cuddling with you on the couch, his palm resting on the small of your back while he gives you forehead kisses 🥰

-will take you out clubbing and make sure no one bothers you!! he’s so tall and muscular that no one approaches you while he’s standing guard over you

-before you start dating, he pines for you HARD. everyone can tell he’s in love with you but you, and it takes him months to finally ask you out

-very romantic, likes taking you out to dinners, walks on the beach, but also enjoys eating fast food together in your car while having idle chitchat. honestly any activity he does with you feels romantic to him, he’s in LOVE LOVE

-he is the best person to take care of you when you’re sick. not only is he a doctor, but he’s super empathetic and caring person that knows your needs almost better than you do

-he’s got such big hands, and they’re always touching you, whether that be holding your hand, your hip, or caressing your cheek!!

-in the morning, he usually wakes up before you and just stares at your face, caressing your cheek and pushing your hair out of your face. if you could see the tender, loving look in his eye you’d fall even more in love

-he would be such a good dad. I think he would be ready for kids in his mid twenties, so he’ll have graduated med school before he has kids.

-before he has kids though, Gon and Killua are your honorary children.

-when you do get pregnant, he’s extremely attentive, taking great care of you and your needs. he’s a doctor so if anything happens he’ll be able to help!

-buys you flowers and chocolates almost every week. he just can’t pass them off when he goes grocery shopping after a long and hard shift at the hospital.

-he likes to hold your hand when you walk together. he may be a bit shy with PDA, but he’ll show his love for you by gently rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand, his eyes full of adoration when he looks down at you

-jealous!! does not like when men’s eyes linger on your figure, or their hands get dangerously close to touching you. he’s the best guard dog, easily defending you from anyone that would try to hurt you!

-likes when you let him lay his head in your lap after a long day, rubbing your fingers through his hair and telling him what a good job he did. he’s got a lot on his shoulders, and it’s nice to be able to relax with you

-enjoys doing small intimate things for you, like washing your hair, shaving your legs, and applying lotion to your skin. anything to make him feel closer to you!

-loves the smell of your shampoo, and will always pull you a little closer when the two of you cuddle after your shower

-he’s a decent cook, and enjoys cooking with you! feels so loved when you ask him if he can taste test something for you, hearts forming in his eyes when you gently blow on the food before offering it to him

NSFW

-he’s a service dom when he dominates. he lives to please you and make you feel good! as a sub, he will let you do anything to him…

-Leorio is inexperienced and can be easily overstimulated with kisses alone. you can sit in his lap, tongue in his mouth and he’ll cum in his pants before you even touch him

-he’s putty in your hands. pull him down by his tie and he may just whimper. pin him against the wall, pull him closer by his hips and he’ll look down at you with half lidded eyes, a blush covering his face

-you’ll have to put up with him cumming really quick the first few times. he’s very shy and gets overly excited, but he can keep going! just be a little patient!

-his hands shake a little when he fingers you for the first time. he’s a little nervous, he’s scared he’ll hurt you! his fingers are big and can stretch you out plenty!

-7.5ish inches, girthy… he tries his best to be gentle and take his time with you, but he does end up moving too quick and cumming inside within the first 5 mins 😭🙏 he can go again though, and will fuck you until you’re satisfied!!

-appreciates a nice set of lingerie. send him all the pictures of you in your new panties and he’ll send back “AWOOGA” and a cumshot video 🙏

-mutual masturbation… loves to watch you play with your pussy while he jerks off. it also helps him learn exactly what makes you feel good so he can try it next time!!

-you ironically ask him for a video of him whimpering while he jerks off and he send it back within the next 5 minutes… it’s hot, and his hands tremble a little while he pumps his fat cock and moans your name

-if he needs to get off while you’re gone, he’ll call you and have you tell him about your day while he gets off to the sound of your voice

-he buys you any sex toys you want, as long as he gets to watch you use them!! he has his own toys but is a little more shy, you’ll have to convince him and get him very comfortable for him to let you watch him

-he loves your body, and will whisper words of worship and adoration when he touches you. he’s surprisingly sweet and loving, making every touch pleasurable

-he needs to be kissed and told that he’s making you feel good! he’s a little insecure and nervous the first few times you have sex, and needs reassurance!

-can be very subby… call him your sweet boy, your sweetheart, darling. cup his cheeks while you settle onto his cock and tell him just how nice he feels inside you and he’ll blush, wanting to hide his flustered face in your shoulder. hell whine and whimper, gasping when you clench around him and begging you to move faster ><

-his hands are almost always on your hips during sex. holding you in place, gently squishing and squeezing at your soft flesh. his thumbs will brush over your tummy as he kisses you, and you can feel the pressure of his fingers digging into your skin. it’s a reminder that he has you, and doesn’t want to let you go

-he would let you peg him if you wanted to. he won’t ask, but if you bring it up he’s like “yeah sure!”

-p-period sex with Leorio…

-he uses the doctor card saying something like “did you know that sex can help with cramps?” and gives you a hopeful look, playing with the waistband of your panties. he’s so tender, rubbing your back soothingly and making sure he’s gentle. he really does want to help you feel better, so the sex is very soft and sensual. he’ll never be rough with you when you’re on your period, not like he is when you’re off of it, but he’s especially gentle when you are

-literally so sweet and loving when you do get pregnant. he’ll let you cockwarm him, holding a hand over your baby bump while the two of you think of baby names. you’ve been a little hormonal lately and just wanna feel nice and full, so he’s happy to oblige

-blow jobs… he fucking LOVES when you suck his cock. look at him with those pretty eyes of yours, fondle his balls and he’ll cum almost instantly. honestly he’s really sensitive so just swirling your tongue around his tip is enough to get him off

-loves dry humping. he has you sit on his lap, guiding your hips so your clothed pussy rubs against the bulge in his pants. poor guy ends up cumming in his pants A LOT when he’s around you 😭🙏

-moans and whimpers while he eats you out. you can tell he’s enjoying himself, maybe even more than you are. he’s got his big fingers inside of you, moaning into your clit as he sloppily slurps and licks your pussy 💞💞

-he’s almost in shock when he has you moaning and squirming underneath him, begging for more. he’ll swallow thickly, pushing his cock in and kissing your forehead. “anything for you, princess.”

[birdiebirdjay]

hey! call me aj or just jay. nicknames are cool too if we're friends! :) dms are always open! i love chatting with people

pronoun page

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about my blog:

⁀☆ new theme for valentines day!

⁀➴ my main fandom is harry potter but you'll occasionally also get good omens or marvel posts

⁀☆ i talk about percy weasley and severus snape a lot

⁀➴ i LURVE lucius malfoy (minus the terrorism) and i think he was an awesome dad, actually

⁀☆ @birdiebirdtalks is my original content/fandom meta blog because i reblog a lot over here

⁀➴ i welcome friendly debates and have no qualms with people disagreeing with me as long as they're open to me debating back

⁀☆ i write stuff! requests are always open <3

⁀➴ i also shitpost a lot

⁀☆ send me asks!!! i'm bad at getting to them but i'll love you forever

(about me under the cut - tdlr: i'm aj and i'm a silly little dude who loves his girlfriend)

about me:

⁀➴ i love my girlfriend

⁀☆ goofy silly whimsical but i do get angry sometimes sorry :(

⁀➴ south asian american

⁀☆ doefae is otp sorry i don't make the rules

⁀➴ feminist and i will throw hands if you disrespect women

⁀☆ i love my girlfriend

⁀➴ genderfluid dude

⁀☆ he/him or she/her are fine (i don't really mind how people perceive me)

⁀➴ i love my girlfriend

⁀☆ haver of the tism and the 80 hd's

⁀➴ martial artist and contortionist-in-training

⁀☆ i'm a remus lupin apologist and remadora is my guilty pleasure ship

⁀➴ did i mention i love my girlfriend?

☆ i'm very rarely offended by anything (probably because the audhd doesn't let me understand offensive intentions ksjdjsjdh but i do appreciate tone tags and when people do the thing where they speak like an elcor) so feel free to ask really anything or just say hi :)

☆ fandoms/things i enjoy and will write about: harry potter (books) , good omens (book and show!!) , marvel (movies, phase 1-3 plus TFATWS and the loki show) , inception (movie) , free guy (movie) , teen beach movies 1 & 2 (movies, they're my go-to comfort) , peacock [2010] (movie) , over the garden wall (show)

☆ things i just enjoy: norse mythology! , community the tv show , ducktales (2017) , philosophy , ATLA (show) , and a lot of other stuff!! feel free to ask

♡ my people: ♡

@percyweasleyapologist - MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ my fav zoe doe who i love annoying with my awesome taste in fictional characters <333

@winn-wynn - tumblr mum-in-law!! used to be my mum fr but then i got kinda disowned but just because the incest accusations were no bueno- zoe and i are her leash children muahahaha

@sarkylittlemonster - uni!! super cool writer and lover of percy weasley :))

@beanthebugboi - bean!! uber cool friend and also tumblr famous hehe

@lirenthenonlyrist - liren!! my buddy man and also fellow simp for zoe's walburga black drawing >:)

@guess1mjustheren0w - bea!! my cool niece hehe we phase out of reality together sometimes

@casuallybeez - cheese!! MY PLATONIC POOKIE BEAR 🫶🏽🫶🏽

@mairon-goth-minion - evan!! great nephew baguette :3

(if you aren't on here it's probably because i'm not sure whether or not you want a ping or because i'm vaguely intimidated by you ^^' lmk if you wanna be added! <3)

familr post

tag guide (wip):

#aj rambles - all the posts where i talk a lot about fandom stuff

#aj writes - my fics

#personal/#not fandom just aj - both are basically the same, just 'me' stuff

#asks - self explanatory

#the feels - sad stuff mostly

#happy bois - (bois gender neutral) just happy things/usually about characters

#its me im the happy bois - accompanies 'happy bois' for stuff that makes me happy

#gorgeous art <3 - my reblogs of cool artists!

#zoe doe - FOR MY GIRLFRIENDDDDDD <333

#the doefae chronicles - relationship lore, mostly asks :3

#the wynn family - tag for mother wynn

#liren my buddy man

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Little Earthquakes - Chapter Seven.

Previous chapters - Prologue One Two Three Four Five Six

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,525

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Minors DNI!

It had been two weeks since she’d seen Nathan, Holly beginning to wonder whether she’d done something wrong. At first, he’d had to cancel their planned Friday night date out of busyness, promising to see her the following week. It had been a promise yet to materialise a further week on from then, her messages beginning to go unanswered, too.  

Her natural reaction was to wonder whether he was going off her, perhaps realising this casual dating thing they had wasn’t for him after all, but didn’t really know how to come out and tell her that. This truly wasn’t on brand for the kind of guy he was, though. As he’d said right from the start, he was straight up, he didn’t mess people around, and she believed that. However, this was odd behaviour, and it definitely negated his words. 

Either way, she wouldn’t chase after him. The ball was now in his court, Holly carrying on with her life. She couldn’t deny it, though. She missed him. 

“I think I’ve been ghosted.” 

Kate paused from dipping a tortilla chip into the sour cream between them, gaping ever so slightly. “From Nathan?” It was hard to hear, given how into her friend he’d seemed, both witnessing it herself and from hearing Holly’s gushing over how lovely he was. 

“Yeah. He's stopped replying to messages. I haven’t heard anything from him for five days now. Not sure what to do, other than leave the ball in his court, y’know.” It was Friday night, and she and Kate were having a few snacks before going out to meet up with a couple of their old friends from uni, sitting on the latter’s sofa watching a few episodes of Gogglebox.  

“That’s, well. That’s strange, hun. He’s been so into you over the last two and a half months, all I’ve heard from you is how lovely he is and what a good time you guys are having together. Are you sure he’s not just busy?” 

Her darling Kate. She always sought the best in people before jumping to the worst conclusions. “He said that,” she replied, scooping salsa onto the chip and popping it into her mouth with a loud crunch. “It’s the fact he isn’t messaging me back, though. I’m just being left on read.” 

Kate’s face was a picture of surprise. “I don’t know what to say. I mean, men can be so bloody useless, can’t they? They don’t understand the urgency of replying to messages like we do, don’t realise our minds start going to the ‘but what if he doesn’t like me’ place more or less straight away. I mean, sometimes that’s just who they are. Hell, I’d never hold my breath waiting for the lummox to return a Whatsapp. I’d die!” 

“I heard that!” 

“You were meant to!” she shouted in the direction of the kitchen, Greg, her husband poking his head around the door with a huge grin. “I think leaving the ball in his court is the best idea. If he gets in touch, great. If he doesn’t, then we need to apply the Miranda Hobbes adage to the situation, tough as it might be to hear.” 

As two die hard Sex and the City fans, she knew exactly what Kate referenced. It was tough, too, to have to reconcile that Nathan might just not be that into her. Whenever they were together, he acted anything but. He was affectionate and attentive, which made his radio silence even more baffling to fathom.  

Kate’s usual no nonsense advice was probably the truth she needed to hear, though, no matter how much she pined for Nathan. If he wasn’t into her, then that was just the way it was. At thirty-four, she was beyond waiting around for a man. She wouldn’t let herself hang around in the fringes of his life while he decided whether or not he truly wanted to bring her into it properly.  

They met up with their friends a couple of hours later, sitting outside at a bar in Marylebone, enjoying the bright summer evening. It was just as Kate was recounting a hilarious story of Greg and a decorating mishap that had led him to end up walking right off the end of a wallpaper pasting table that Holly’s phone beeped, unlocking the screen and feeling her heart quicken in an instant. 

“Cutie!!! I’m so pissing sorry I’ve been MIA! Been up to my ears in work :( I know, I’m a bad man and you have full permission to smack my arse for not replying to you. I’d love to meet up with you tonight if you’re free?xx’ 

Part of her wanted to let him stew for a while, make herself unavailable, but she didn’t really go in for those kinds of game playing tactics. He’d offered an explanation and apology. Surely, that was good enough? 

“I’m out with some old uni friends right now. I’ve missed you, too. It’s nice to hear from you. I can meet tomorrow, if you like?xx” 

Immediately, she saw that he was typing a reply. 

“Nah, where are you? Really want to see you now! Can’t cope with another day and no Holly!!xx” 

“Girls, would any of you mind having a man crash our evening? Nathan, the guy I’m dating just messaged to ask,” she inquired, her friends’ faces all lighting up. 

“Is he cute?” Trina asked. Going to her camera roll, she located a picture of her and Nathan, turning the screen. A few little coos abounded, seeing the image of them standing all cuddled up in her back garden she’d taken a few weeks prior. “He is! Tell him yes! Oh, look at his hair, wow!” 

Wendy then chimed in, taking a look. “Hmm, not my type, but I don’t mind!” 

“So, he finally gets in touch,” Kate spoke, giving her a little elbow nudge. “See? Told you he was probably just busy.” Turning to the group, she continued. “Wait until you see them together. They’re so adorable! He’s such a sweetie.”  

“Very different from your usual type, though!” Penny, the third of the group announced, Holly tapping out a quick message to let him know where she was. 

“I know, he really is. But he’s bloody gorgeous and so sweet, too.”  

Kate snorted into her cocktail glass. “The seven-inch pierced cock doesn’t hurt either.” 

Much screaming and whooping followed, Holly hiding her face.  

“Oh, my life!” Trina cried, clasping her hands together. “What does it feel like?” 

“Exactly as you’d imagine,” she revealed. “As do the two studs in his tongue.” More screaming. “I am telling you, that man is an absolute god in bed.” And yes, a little more screaming after that as the girls all descended into hysteria.  

Reading his reply, she saw he’d be with them in just over half an hour, Holly going to get him a beer before sitting there fizzing with excitement that she finally got to see him again after two long weeks and no lovely man.  

She was in the middle of hearing Trina speak about her very interesting day at her gallery when two tattooed arms folded around her from behind, a flurry of kisses pressed to her cheek.  

“Missed you, gorgeous!” he announced loudly, vaulting over the barrier that bordered the outside area of the bar. “Alright, ladies!”  

“Hello, Nathan,” they all chimed as he picked up the pint of beer waiting for him, thanking Holly, and then promptly downing it. 

“Crapping hell, Nath!” she exclaimed as he placed the empty glass down again. 

“I was thirsty.” Pausing, he then burped discreetly, beaming a grin. “Excuse me. Right, what’s that mad looking brown stuff in there that you’re all drinking?” 

“An urban bourbon cowboy,” Wendy revealed, snort laughing at the confused look on his face. 

“An urban, bour... whaty, what, what?” 

The women all descended into laughter. “An urban bourbon cowboy!” Kate spoke for him again, having him move to give her a big hug and a kiss, almost knocking her from her chair with his enthusiasm. Something told her he’d probably already had a few drinks before arriving with them. He seemed a little more live wire than usual.  

He looked to Holly, shaking his head. “I ain’t ever gonna remember that, nah. Come help me, I’ll get a round in.” They returned after a few minutes, Nathan placing down two large pitchers of cocktails on the table, the women thanking him, charmed by his generosity. He took a seat, welcoming Holly onto his lap, his hand beginning to smooth up her thigh as he reached for one of the two pints she’d carried out for him.  

“Seriously, I really missed you, baby.” He kissed the side of her neck, grinning at her adoringly, Holly feeling her insides melt. Baby. He’d never called her that before.  

“So then, how did you meet our lovely friend here, Nathan?” Trina asked, the man himself taking a big swig of beer before placing the glass back on the table. His head was buzzed already from the amount of vodka he’d drunk while over in Ealing, hanging out with the guys from the MC that night before deciding he really, really wanted to see Holly. 

“We were in the same class at school,” he began, “and I always fancied her but never had the courage to ask her out. Then she came into my shop and I did the tattoo on her leg, and it all went from there.” 

A few coos resounded at hearing that. “Well, you both look very in tune with one another. She’s been singing your praises.”  

“Oh yeah?” he asked, watching Holly suddenly snort with laughter and hide her face against his neck. “Ahh. I know what you told your friends! She’s been telling you about a certain piercing I’ve got, ain’t she?” 

Snorts of laughter filled the air, Kate holding up her hand. “Nope, that was me!” 

He couldn’t help himself. “I’ll show you, if you want?” 

“You wouldn’t,” Trina teased him, leaning across the table with a big grin. 

He matched her lean, grinning widely. “How much do you wanna bet I wouldn’t?” 

“Nathan, calm down,” Holly warned, moving his hand when he went to unfasten his jeans. 

“Get up a minute,” he spoke, patting her thigh. He wasn’t serious?  

“Nath, stop!” she cried, grasping his jaw and turning his head to kiss him, hopefully distracting him. God, he was certainly amped up more than usual.  

He chuckled filthily. “Alright, I’ll stop, I'll stop.” He then looked right at Trina. “When she goes to the loo, I’ll show you then, sweetheart.” He winked, accompanying it with a little click of his tongue, sending the women into hysterics. “So, all of you went to UAL too then, yeah?” 

They confirmed yes, Nathan seeming to settle and calm down as he asked into their respective careers, being attentive, listening to what each of them revealed. As he did, Holly felt her insides unclench a little after being so taken by surprise at his slightly altered behaviour. He could be a little frisky when he’d had a drink, as could she, but honestly, she was the only thing that had stopped him from revealing himself right there in public. It was very unlike him to act in such a way. 

They continued having a good night together, Holly slowing down her alcohol intake a little while he sped his up, everything fine until another behaviour she wasn’t used to seeing in him manifested itself. 

“Oi mate!” a man from the next table called, attracting his attention. “How the fuck did a skinny, scruffy, tattooed fuck like you manage to get a girl like her?” 

Immediately, his brows furrowed, Holly answering before he did. “Being bloody lovely, is how he did.”  

“Don’t think much of your taste, love,” the man remarked, obviously spoiling for something. 

“And I don’t think much of your mouth, bruv,” Nathan spoke, glaring at him. “Unless you want it cut to fucking pieces on a glass, I’d watch it if I was you, you gobby fucking gammon cunt.”  

“Oi, don’t threaten me, sunshine,” the man pointed, “just having a laugh with ya, yeah?” 

“I ain’t stupid, you prick. Nah, fuck that. Weren’t a threat either, it was a promise.”  

The man lunged, his friends grabbing him, Nathan trying to move Holly but struggling as she wrapped her arms around him. “Nath, Nathan! Stop it! Just ignore him, he’s pissed and looking for a fight.”  

“Sorry, guys,” one of his friends spoke, moving him away. “Your missus is right though, mate. He’s just drunk, he don’t mean it.”  

“Yeah?” Nathan snapped, pointing at him. “I fucking do. He looks at me again and I’ll fucking cut him, you understand?” 

“Nathan!” Holly exclaimed, feeling her cheeks begin to tingle. Good god, this was so unlike him to be aggressive. He hated fighting, wasn’t one for violence at all, his body rigid with agitation beneath hers. “Look at me, Nath.” 

Finally, she had two shards of green fury tear themselves away from the other table, stroking his face as he looked at her. “Calm down. He’s just being a drunken wanker.” It sent the mood at the table crashing down, Holly apologising to her friends, telling them it was best they leave so she could get him out of an environment that cracked with hostility. It was embarrassing to say the least, for them to meet her new guy and have him behave like that, no matter that he wasn’t the instigator.  

As soon as she’d gotten him into an Uber, though, he was immediately back to the Nathan she knew. 

“Fuck, I'm so sorry. I shouldn’t have risen to him like that,” he lamented, grasping her hand. “I'm just a bit pissed and he irritated me. Already feel like you’re too good for me, don’t need some gammon twat pissing rubbing it in, I’m telling you.”  

“Is everything okay with you?” she found herself immediately asking. “Because this is all very out of character, and I know I’m still getting to know you, but things aren’t adding up for me. You stopped replying to me, stopped wanting to see me and then you turn up tonight already quite drunk and start acting in a way that just doesn’t fit.” 

Glancing down, he sighed, his jaw tightening a little. “I’ll tell you when we get back to yours.”  

Her stomach dropped a little there, knowing her intuition wasn’t off, that there definitely something amiss with him. In a way, though, it was relieving as well. This out of character behaviour had a cause, one he was willing to open up and reveal to her. Once back at her flat – and after prising a bottle of bourbon from his clutches – she made them both a coffee instead and sat down on the sofa next to him, Nathan taking a little while to gather his thoughts before speaking. 

“Oh, hell upon hell,” he began, scratching the back of his neck. “I hate this. Right, so I filed for divorce just over a fortnight ago, like I said to you I was gonna do when I got that number for the solicitor from you. Lisa hit the pissing roof.”  

Sitting there next to him, she could only wonder why. A cold feeling crept over her, that perhaps he was about to tell her that he couldn’t see her any longer, that the reason Lisa had hit the roof was because she wanted them to reconcile. Of course, that made little sense in the face of him being so adamant to meet her that night, but she couldn’t help her thoughts. Keeping silent, though, she sat with patience as he continued. 

“It weren’t even because of anything big either, simply the fucking grounds I’d filed it on. Unreasonable behaviour, which she then accused me of and we got into a huge row before I kicked her out the shop. She fucking called me a useless excuse for a man, too, the bitch, and that’s been pissing bugging the life out of me. Yeah, it’s been proper messing with my head ever since and I ain’t been right. Fucking drinking too much, doing things I shouldn’t be doing, avoiding you.”  

Watching him continue to scratch, she saw the way agitation corded in his muscles, his arms tense, reaching to stroke his shoulder. “I think that’s understandable, given what she did to you and then turning up like that screaming, saying the things she did. I don’t understand why you’ve avoided me, though. What did I do?” 

“That’s the point,” he scoffed. “You did nothing wrong, but I...” He paused, closing his eyes tightly, clutching the sides of his head between his hands. “It’s pissing scaring the shit out of me, for real, how much I like you. Can’t get hurt like that again, Holly. Nah. Can’t let it happen.”  

Sliding off the sofa, she crouched before him, taking his face in her hands. “Nathan, I can’t say I’m never going to hurt you, I can’t know that. I might have a bad day at some point in the future and say something regrettable in the heat of the moment because I’m human, but I can tell you this. I’ll never lie to you or deceive you. I’ll never willingly hurt you like she did. I’m not her, y’know. You can trust me, but you’ve got to let yourself trust me. All well and good for me to say, I know that. Give me a chance, though,” she stated, stroking his cheekbones, watching him nodding. 

“You might not want me to,” he suddenly snorted. “I’ve been with other girls since we started dating. Trying to convince myself I’m not as fucking into you as I am. Which is stupid, because I legit adore you, Holly.” 

She couldn’t say it didn’t make her heart sink unpleasantly to hear that, especially given her own circumstances, but at least he was honest. He’d told her off his own back, which was more than Dean ever had. “We never discussed exclusivity, did we? I won’t lie, it hurts to hear you’ve been with other women, but I still stand by what I just said. We didn’t say we were exclusive. If we had then I’d be punching you on the nose about now.” 

He laughed softly through said nose, resting his forehead to hers. “Seriously, nah. You’re so fucking lovely and I’m just this mess of a person, for real. What do you see in me?” 

God, Lisa had dented his self-esteem so badly. It was the second comment he’d made that night that reflected as much. “You’re kind, you’re sweet, you’re an absolute god in bed – and yes I told my friends in as many words!” He laughed much louder at that, Holly pausing for a moment. “You make me laugh, you’re fun to be around, you’re interesting and thoughtful, and you’re so bloody talented, too. Oh, and you’re about one of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen! Look, I can’t say forget about all this damage Lisa did to you and just move on, it isn’t that simple, sadly. At least trust me enough to help you get over it and begin that moving on, though?” 

Trust her. But how could he? He’d sank into Eden with Lisa without a second thought, and she’d hurt him more than his fragile heart could truly withstand. What she’d said was right, though. She wasn’t Lisa. If he was to move forward and truly heal from the wreck of his marriage, he knew he needed to find a little trust, or he’d be stuck there forever. He would be exactly all the things his estranged wife had told him he was. 

“Dunno how to.” He received a slightly exasperated sigh at that, covering her hands with his. “Sorry, I’m not trying to be difficult, but it’s fucking scary.” 

“Okay, I understand that. It’s just a matter of knowing what’s the worst that could happen? You’ve already been there, doesn’t get much worse than that, does it?” His head shake confirmed no. “And there’s a fifty percent chance this thing with us will go beautifully, and you’ll settle and trust you’re safe enough to feel happy, right?” A nod confirmed yes. “So, you have to be brave, and hold onto that fifty percent. If I’m honest, I’d like to say it’s even higher than that, because I’m a bloody catch, you know.” 

His smile widened in an instant. “Oh, I fucking know you are, cutie.” 

“Next time you feel upset about Lisa, or like you want to dive into a bottle for comfort, call me. Talk to me. Let me be there for you and I promise, I’ll become your comfort rather than the person you’re scared of getting in too deep with. As I should be, if I’m going to be your girlfriend at some point. In case you haven’t realised it, I’d actually quite like to be.” 

Oh, he had. The way he kissed her as he lifted her onto his lap confirmed that, too.  

[juiceofmoons]

💛🧡 milestone: just passed 1,000 followers! 🧡💛

it still doesn't feel real but thank you so soo much for enjoying my content enough to follow <3333 I made my first moodboard almost a year ago today so I find it crazy how much this blog has grown since then 🤍

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

To show my appreciation, I wanted to do something for this milestone so I have a few ideas so please request something below if you'd like 🥰

mb: dm me a skz pic and i'll make a mb! or just send me a req idm I love mbs

mb: choose a colour from the colour generator and i'll base an mb around it

gifs/gfx: make me choose (anything skz related eg mv, performance, era, album)

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

I would also like to mention the following people below who make my time in stayblr so enjoyable whether it be leaving nice comments on my posts or me being in awe of your work orrr me loving the tags you leave on rbs <33 🧡💛I also want to say that I recently made a wall of text 🤗 and I put a little activity there lmao

@15lix @acrobaticcatfeline @agibbangs @atinystraykid @babycatlix @bangzchan @blueprintchan @boba-skz @changbeens @chanstopher @chanrizard @chewysan @euphhorias @geniaparadox @haenglixie @holocenestatelines @hyunebear @hyunfected @hwan-g @j-0ne25 @jeonginny @jerirose @jinniebit @luvrli @minchanz @minzbins @nymeriaaa @shmalll @sstarryoong ⋆｡° ✮@sunnishine @sulfurcosmos @svintsandghosts @ughbehavior @zeroze @yonglixx

and also to the mb babes <33 @missyedits @snug-gyu @ggthydrangea @winterfloral I love our chats even tho I have been a bit busy atm and my timezone is a nightmare :(( but I am so glad I have met you and you're all so talented!! ✧˖°. also missy <33 my first stayblr friend <33 I can't believe it has been almost a year since we started talking ilu good luck with uni <33

also shout out to @seokmingming ⋆｡˚ ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ gunwook tunnel vision besties <33333

sorry if I have missed anyone <33 pls know I love you and I just have a bad memory with urls :((

[a-single-tulip]

The Perfect Girl

Pairing: Commander Fox x Fem!Punk!Reader

Summary: In which Fox has to deal not only with a vandal plaguing his streets with graffiti tags, but also his severe crush on you, a seemingly put-together reporter who frequents the Senate Rotunda. What happens to this poor Commander when both of his issues collide with one another?

Warnings: Double Life, Rough sex, Blowjobs, PiV, Piercings, Primal Play, Semi-public sex, and a lot of other tags on AO3. This one is a bit more rough and raunchy, so please please please read through all the tags and decide whether or not you feel comfortable enough to read this.

Word Count: 7,012

A/N: Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I've posted any fics, but uni was seriously kicking my ass, and now that I've been on break the past week I finally got to work on something again 😄

This may come as a little out of left field given that I've only written for members of The Bad Batch up until now, but thanks to @wizardofrozz I've actually become a bit of a Fox girlie 👀

Without further ado, I hope y'all enjoy this fic. I tagged accordingly on AO3, so make sure to read all the tags on there carefully, and if you don't vibe with any of them feel free to skip out on this fic (Fox gets a bit bitey in this one). All my love to y'all

Tag List: @starrylothcat, @hunterswife99

[synonymroll648]

Whoops accidentally hit 600 words ah well these things happen. I have decided to snippet you with sophitz (angst? fluff? both??) enjoy :)

Sophie tapped her fingers against her laptop keyboard, trying to figure out the best way to phrase her conclusion. Gerard Way screaming through her headphones was not much helping, but she didn’t have the heart to shut them up. Her mind kept wandering back to Keefe and Fitz and the whole soulmate shenanigan.

She kind of wanted to cut her finger off and forget romance was even a thing. But alas, that would probably hurt, and she sort of liked romance. Just not all the drama that it happened to come with.

Fitz opened her door and stepped into her room. Sophie heard a vague hint of Marella’s voice, and she paused her music (sorry Gerard) and took off her headphones.

“You can’t just come in here,” Sophie said.

“I’ve been knocking for a while,” Fitz said. “Can I come in?”

“You already have,” Marella said. “Let me guess. You want to speak to Sophie alone.”

“If you don’t mind.”

“No one wants me,” she sighed dramatically. Sophie laughed.

“I’m sure your girlfriend wants you, go hang with her,” she said. Marella perked up.

“If I’m not back within an hour assume I’m sitting at her table for dinner,” Marella said, blowing them both a kiss and leaving. Fitz watched her go before turning back to Sophie.

“Before you say anything, do you know how to write a good conclusion?” she asked him.

“Yeah, I’ll give you pointers later.” Fitz sat down on Marella’s bed and looked at the ceiling behind Sophie. “Have you ever been in love?”

Sophie coughed. “Wow. Unexpected. Um. Why?”

He shrugged.

“Do you… think you might be in love with someone?”

Another shrug.

Sophie stared at him. He looked… quite sad. Like he sort of wanted to be anywhere but here. Whether “here” was Sophie’s room or the uni or the world in general.

“…is it Keefe?”

Fitz’s eyes flickered towards her in terror, but moved away again almost as quickly.

“Hey,” Sophie said quietly, standing up and moving closer to comfort him. Fitz’s right arm immediately shot upwards to shield his face, and his entire position adjusted, poised for an incoming attack.

Sophie stepped away immediately, holding up her arms as if in surrender. “Sorry, sorry—“

“Don’t be,” he said. “It’s not your fault—“

“—I don’t want to overstep—“

“—you’re fine, I just—“

“—I can give you some time alone—“

“No, stay.”

Sophie looked at the desperation in Fitz’s eyes.

“Please.”

Sophie nodded. “Do you want me to stay here or sit there or—“

“Here’s fine.”

Sophie sat on Marella’s bed and watched Fitz calm himself down. A barely-heard “thank you” passed his lips.

“You don’t have to talk,” she said quietly. “We can just… sit here. The wall looks especially nice this time of day.”

Fitz smiled, the beauty of his face dampened slightly from the tears leaking out of his closed eyes. He leaned back against the wall and started trying to regulate his breathing.

Sophie wanted to tell him. She and Fitz and Keefe had made that unspoken agreement to talk about the soulmate stuff with each other the moment anything of importance came up, and a fat crush on Fitz was probably something of importance. But this moment… it was perfect. She didn’t want to screw that up.

So she just laced their hands together, closed her eyes, and let her mind go.

dude!!! this is so !!!!!! sophie listening to mcr?? fitz and sophie stumbling super hard in trying to respect each other's boundaries but continuing to try anyway?? the fact that this isn't just sokeefitz but a fucking sokeefitz SOULMATE AU????? YESYESYESYESYES. LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS <333 if you ever post this please tag me omg

-

It’s a shame that Fitz is so pretty it’s tragic. Tragic for Keefe, because he’s the most stubborn person he knows, and yet the way that the muted skies of dawn and glow of the pool lights paint over Keefe’s resistance with adoration. Adoration for how he’d come out here at 5 in the morning to hang out with Keefe, adoration for how he’s clearly tired but trying not to show it, adoration for the curls that are a little more messed up than usual - like he’d just rolled out of bed. Adoration for-

[luvsugu]

ABOUT !!

hi there! nice to see you here :]

PERSONAL

my name is el, i'm 22 years old, and i write here and there whenever i'm free. my favourite colours are neutrals and soft (not so saturated??? deep, maybe???) greens, and my favourite jujutsu kaisen characters are the sashisu trio, nanami and panda!!

concerning minors, you are more than welcome to talk to me about jjk or anything on the trivial side; however, please do not seek friendship or anything heavily personal from me. it's best we set these kinds of boundaries!

BLOG

this blog will be sfw!! i really enjoy writing AUs and more often than not i'm writing a uni!AU hahaha,, i think i'll always be tagging whether or not it'll be along the canonical storyline or an AU! i won't be writing explicit nsfw nonetheless!

i will not be taking formal requests but instead be taking suggestions! reason being, i can't guarantee that i can write for every idea and i don't want to be stuck with something i can't or don't want to write for.

this is also a sideblog !

LINKS

HOME ;; RULES (for suggestions) ;; MASTERLIST ;; WIPS

[scarasenvy]

REBLOG THIS DESCRIBING WHAT YOUR UNIVERSITY EXPERIENCE IS/WAS LIKE

i’m really craving that campus-life, academia aesthetic right about now.

i haven’t been in school for almost 2 years, and i really miss going somewhere to learn about cool things and to meet new people. i keep hearing about all the not-so-great things about life as a university student, and i also went to college for a semester and HATED it. maybe this was because i was studying something i wasn’t too interested in, and because i suffered/still suffer from crippling anxiety?? idk. but i’ve always wanted to know if anyone out there has actually had GOOD experiences. im sure there are some people out there, but i just want to know if anyone has had the sort of awesome clichè experiences where you meet your bestest friends, grab coffee with them before and after class to do homework and chat about life/future goals, meet like-minded people who you enjoy speaking with because you guys have so much in common, meeting your soulmate who eventually buys you a coffee every day before class, and where almost all the classes you’re taking are genuinely enjoyable and you feel super uplifted and productive when you’re completing your homework? like, seriously. if you guys have some awesome/cute stories like these please reblog and share them!! i want to feel excited about eventually going back to uni and truly finding out what i have been missing all this time! i don’t want to dread the feeling of going back to school anymore, or be held back by my anxiety. i just want to have something to look forward to... even if in the end i might have just been expecting too much.

[formula1neverleft]

No Time Like The Present - Daniel Ricciardo - Part 1/2

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x female!reader 

Warnings: some fluff, a little angsty at times, lots of pining, no smut (yet ;) - keep an eye out for Pt. 2 for all that good stuff) 

Summary: Friends to lovers, you know how it izzz, also renault Dan for no other reason than he really does it for me yk 

Words: 2.6K 

Author’s note: This is my first ever fic so please bare with me as i’m still figuring out what style/POV I enjoy the most! English is not my first language so if there are any mistakes/typos in here please let me know! 

Y/N/N = your nickname

Feedback very much appreciated, Enjoy :)) 

Extra’s: 

Song recs -> Dead of Night by Orville Peck// Eventually by Tame impala// Treat You Better by Rüfüs du sol // Meet Me in the Hallway by Harry Styles 

Some posts that *inspired* me -> Renault Dan 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, Dan’s outfit is the one from this video, this Euphoria scene 

Sunday October 11th 2020, Nürburgring, Germany

 As soon as the hotel door clicked shut behind you, a sigh of relief forced its way out of your mouth. Your feet were screaming at you to drop all your belongings on the floor and flop down on the bed to give them some relief, so you did exactly that. After the long trip here, jetlag doing its worst on you, and a full day of walking around the track and paddock, saying you were tired was an understatement. Still, you found yourself deep in thought as you lay on your back staring at the ceiling. The words Daniel spoke to you after the podium celebrations were still ringing in your ears, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t get them out of your head.

 “Looks like you’re my lucky charm, Y/N/N, you should just travel with me year-round. We’d make quite the team you and I.”

 It was a joke, ofcourse, if the tone of his voice didn’t give that away then the playful pat on your shoulder sure did the trick. If only he knew you would do it in a heartbeat.

 Daniel and you had been friends since you were kids. Your older brother and him went to school together and were basically attached by the hip, which meant your families spent a lot of time together. As you got older, you and Daniel developed a friendship that went beyond just ‘his mates younger sister’. You would tag along on whatever adventure Daniel had in mind for your friend group; whether it was a hike (that was way too much for the converses you were all wearing and the grand total of one water bottle Daniel had thought to bring), long bike rides down the beach or a party that we just HAD to attend on the other side of town. On numerous occasions you had called him to come pick you up from a party after having too much to drink, and he would let you stay over at his house and not tell your parents about it.

 “I really need to teach you and your brother how to handle your liquor better, Y/N/N.” He’d laughed when tucking you into bed, and you remember thinking it was your favorite sound in the whole world.

 When he had moved to Europe to pursue Formula 1 you knew it would be hard to keep the friendship going, but you had managed surprisingly well over the years. You often accompanied your brother when he planned a trip to go see Daniel, and ofcourse you saw him over the winter breaks. Still, no matter how long he stayed, it always felt like too little time, always felt like too little words spoken and laughs shared between the two of you.

 When Daniel had invited you and your brother to come see him at the Eifel GP you were elated, with online classes you were able to put uni on the backburner for a few weeks to take this trip. Unfortunately, your brother wasn’t able to take time off work to come, but you couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to see Daniel again. It had been months since you had seen him, and you missed him more than you would ever admit to him or your brother…or yourself for that matter.

You often found yourself question the true nature of your feelings for Daniel, there was just something about the two of you together that felt right, like that was where you were destined to be; right next to each other. Pursuing this feeling hadn’t worked out, either he was leaving soon or one of you was dating someone else. Even if the timing was right, taking the first step terrified you, not just because of the fear of rejection, but you didn’t want to risk losing him as a friend. You would do anything to keep him in your life, even if it meant never acting on this “what if” sensation that clouded your mind whenever you were around him.

 A knock on your door diverted you from your thoughts, and your feet tingled in protest when you got up to open it. It was no surprise to see Daniel standing at the other side of the door, being that he was pretty much to only person you knew here. Still, the sight of him knocked to wind out of you. He was still wearing the Pirelli hat, or at least he had put it back on right before this, the golden embroidered 3rd place on both sides standing out under the dim lighting of the hotel hallway. His champagne-soaked race gear had made way for another Daniel Ricciardo classic, some jeans paired with an oversized hoodie and a pair of vans.

 “Fancy going for a nightcap with a top 3 finisher?” He smirked while pointing at the hat, like without it you would have forgotten he was on the podium today.

 “Hmm, I’ll have to think about that, maybe the race winner is available? Do you have Lewis’ number by any chance?” you retorted while leaning casually against the doorframe.

 The smug expression on his face quickly made way for a look of feigned shock.

 “Very funny, Y/N/N, I taught you well, huh? Listen, those pink bunny socks are just adorable, but please put your shoes back on and follow me, I know a place you’ll like.”

He talked like he was already sure you would agree to go. It almost made you want to put up some sort of protest to the invitation…almost.

 //

The ride there was quiet, not an awkward silence, more like you were enjoying just being close to one another without the need for pointless small talk. You had barely even registered that the car had stopped when Daniel suddenly piped up.

 “So, what do you think?” he said proudly, like a toddler that had just finished a drawing and was waiting for the incoming praise from his parents.

 When you looked up, it took everything in you not to laugh out loud. The bar you had pulled up to looked straight out of the movies. A small run-down building that looked like it hadn’t been renovated in approximately 30 years, adorned with a giant sign that said “JOEs BAR & GRILL” and next to it, a blinking neon light with the words “BEER AND MUSIC”. The whole place just screamed Daniel.

 “What IS this place?” you laughed.

 “Hey now, don’t judge a book by its cover, this is one of the best bars in Germany, just trust me Y/N.” He looked straight into your eyes as he said it, and you realized you did trust him. You wondered if he knew you would follow him anywhere he asked you too. Actually, you wondered if YOU even knew before this very moment.

 Once inside, the two of you sat down at the bar while Daniel ordered some drinks. You had to admit you felt kind of bad about poking fun at Daniels choice of establishment. The atmosphere was fun and vibrant, and that alone was enough of a reason for Daniel to appreciate this place. Looking at him chatting with the bartender who was congratulating him on his podium, he fit right in. It was one of the qualities you envied the most in him, he was the life and soul of every party and only ever stood out in a good way. People gravitated towards him, just like you did. It was also the thing that made him impossible to forget, like once you’d had him in your life it would never feel the same without him.

 “Whatever you’re thinking about, stop. I’m getting a headache just looking at you”, he smiled while handing you your drink.

 “Hey, I’m tired you know, it isn’t easy following an F1 driver around all day. I don’t know how Michael does it to be honest” you smirked as you sipped your drink with feigned confidence.

 “Well, maybe the two of you can work something out, hand me over every other week, like co-parenting you know? I’m sure Renault has some sort of job offer that could give you a year-round all access Danny Ric deal” he winked as he said it, and although it was just another silly joke, you silently wished he would stop making them. You would drop everything in your life if it meant you could be with him more, no questions asked. Daniel picked up on your silence and decided to change the subject entirely.

 “Do you remember when you cut your hand while we went rock climbing that one summer?”

 The question caught you off guard, and instinctively you raised the palm of your left hand and stared at the small scar that ran from your pointer finger down to your thumb.

 Before you even had time to verbally respond, he set down his drink to softly grab your hand and trace the scar with the very top of his fingers. No matter how innocent it might seem, the gesture suddenly felt too intimate. The way his fingers ghosted over your skin made goosebumps arise all over your skin. This made you pull your hand back towards you so it fell out of his grasp. When you looked up at Daniel, he was already staring back at you. His soft smile had dissipated and made way for a more serious expression that you weren’t used to seeing on him. He looked somewhat confused or maybe…disappointed? However, he quickly regained his composure and spoke up again.

 “As soon as you saw the first drop of blood you fainted…straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

 “Hey!” you laughed as you gave him a small punch in the arm, it was a stark contrast to the gentle contact you had shared just a few seconds earlier. This was right back to the friendly, platonic atmosphere that you knew so well. Even though it was where you felt most comfortable, there was something about this night that felt different. Deep inside, you felt a need to get away from this familiar place of “childhood buddies”, and venture into unknown territory.

 “Wanna dance?”

 Your mouth had seemingly made the decision before your brain did, because the question surprised yourself just as much as it did Daniel.

 “You know what, I know just the song for that”. Daniel jumped from his seat and walked over to the old jukebox and quickly pressed a few buttons.

 After a few seconds, the unmistakable tune of Ain’t no mountain high enough started booming through the speakers. Unbelievable, you thought, this man is just full of surprises.

 He held out his hand expectantly and you took it without hesitation. The dance floor, if you could even call it that, was a small little corner that luckily kept you mostly out of view from the other bar-goers.

 Remember the day I set you free I told you, you could always count on me, darling And from that day on I made a vow I'll be there when you want me some way, some how

 Daniel spun you around perfectly in time with the tune of the song. You’d seen him dance probably a thousand times; in clubs, during house parties, when a good song came on while in line for a coffee, but never like this. Normally, his jokester persona was priority number one and he would move his hips in the silliest way possible. Tonight however, he was more serious, constantly searching for your eyes when you spun back to face him. You raised your eyebrows in feigned surprise and laughed.

 “you’re actually a decent dancer too huh? Man, is there anything you can’t do??”

 He smiled back, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, like he was somehow disappointed with your response. He let go of your hand and stepped closer while keeping his eyes trained on yours. For a second you thought he was going to say something, but instead he put his hands on your waist. You were frozen for a moment, but before your brain had even registered what was happening, you put your arms around his neck. You were right when you felt like tonight was different. The same, but different. You and Daniel, together, but different.

 Oh no darling, No wind, no rain No winters cold can stop me baby No, no baby, 'Cause you are my love If you ever in trouble, I'll be there on the double Just send for me, oh baby

 As you swayed together, it felt somewhat unnatural, not only because the song didn’t really fit a slow dance, but even more so because there was only silence between the two of you when it was clear that something had to be addressed.

 That the two of you had never danced like this.

That friends don’t dance like this.

That you don’t want to be his friend.

That you want more.

 Your hands that were intertwined at the back of Daniels neck released, one of your thumbs now grazing over the side of his neck, slowly ascending to his face, his cheekbones, his lips. Then, it happened, you grabbed his face with both hands on his cheeks and brought your lips to his.

 He reacted immediately, the hands that were softly placed on your waist were now gripping your shirt and pulling you even closer while your lips worked together. All the daydreams in the world couldn’t have prepared you for the real thing. You were kissing Daniel. Daniel was kissing you back. You have no idea how long you were intertwined like that, but sooner than you would have hoped you had to pull apart to take a breath. When you recoiled, suddenly you became aware of your surroundings again, as if you had been under water, completely cut off from the outside world. The music suddenly seemed to loud, the bar too busy. Right, the bar, Daniel favorite bar, where he’s been numerous times. Where he’s been with his other friends. Where he’s met other girls to dazzle and probably take home with him. Were you like them? Just a viable option? Convenient? Would he still consider you a friend if you took this any further? When you finally got yourself to look at Daniel, he seemed confused and somewhat shocked at your expression. How had you gone from kissing him with such conviction to seemingly spiraling in your thoughts in just a few minutes?

 “Oh god…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-…I…I don’t know what came over me” you say as you promptly turn around and start walking away from him and towards the exit.

 Daniel stayed frozen where he was for a few seconds before chasing after you in a slight jog. You had already made it outside, with no idea of where you thought you were going since Daniel drove you here, but you just felt like putting as much distance between you and him as possible, even if it meant walking back to the hotel. Before you got the chance to try, Daniel caught up and grabbed your wrist so he could turn you around to face him once more.

 “Hey, Hey…look at me, what was that??” He asked while keeping his hold on your wrist as not to risk you running away from him again.

 “I’m sorry, I really don’t want to lose you, I shouldn’t have done that, Daniel, I shouldn’t have acted like this..I-“

 “Like what? Acted like what? Y/N, please, why are you panicking like this suddenly? We were just-“

 “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified” 

[kojinnie]

With The Exception of You

I dislike everyone in the room.

Pairing/Character: Reiner x Reader (she/her), Porco Galliard

Tags: SFW, fluff, college!au, Reiner Braun is a jock who is tired of his own friends, secret relationship

WC: 3.2K

Summary: Reiner had agreed to be in a discreet relationship with you, but after six months and with the arrival of Porco Galliard around you, he couldn’t help but to mark his territory.

Reiner couldn’t seem to fathom the butterflies wreaking havoc in his stomach. It came out of nowhere, as it often happened to be. Once in a while, he could feel his guts twisting as his chest filled with overflown emotions at odd times. Reiner hated it when it happened, because as much as he wanted to convince himself that he wasn’t self-aware of his image, those feelings could potentially strip himself off of his cool guy status.

Reiner had come to realize that such strange feeling often occurred caused by the sight of you.

It could be anything. Things so mundane, so simple. Like the way you twisted the pen in your fingers, the way you squinted your eyes at the blackboard during a lecture, and how you hastily scribbled things on your leather-bound notebook.

Or maybe it’s the way you sighed deliberately loud when someone uttered a dumb, sexist remark in class with no trace of shame, after they tried to debate your sound, well-researched opinion, and how you’d resolved it with a sarcasm that could disintegrate a man’s ego. Reiner sat on the corner of the classroom, disguising his chuckle by clearing his throat, finally coming to experience what they had called butterflies-in-your-stomach all along. 

At that point he had found himself painfully and helplessly in love with you.

He was well-aware of how different the two of you were. Reiner was the athlete, admitted to the uni through football scholarship, and you were the hard-working academician that mostly kept to yourself – hard to approach, hard to tame. Reiner hated how stereotypical he was – tall, buff, blonde, jock, with cheerleader exes and a DM full of thirst trap from his assembly of admirers. Reiner once wished he was anything but a cookie-cutter of everything you had been appalled of.

Reiner could feel every ounce of confidence he had ever had shriveled around your presence. It’s the way the two of you almost collided to each other at the campus hallway, and the way you threw an acknowledging, formal smile at him before striding away that made his heart ached. He wished you’d run to him and shriek his name with affection, but Reiner realized you were not one of his cheerleader exes, and not that he wanted you to be one. You were an anomaly he had yet to understand. A misplaced figure sticking out of his history of penchant for conformity.

“I really like you.” one day he finally said. Never had he been weak on the knees for a confession to any girl before, but this one occurrence? He did.

He didn’t know how he mustered the courage, but after hours, days and weeks he had spent trying to know you – learning your favorite song, accompanying you for book hunting, baking your favorite muffins, texting you good morning and good night – he finally got you alone, in the campus library, only five minutes before closing time.

You laughed at first, because the confession sounded ridiculous to you. The last thing you needed was a horde of girls sending you anonymous hate comments on Insta because you took the campus’ most eligible hunk off of the market. But he didn’t laugh along, and that was when realization hit you.

“So, is that why you’ve been following me around?”

Reiner furrowed his thin, almost non-existent brow, “What do you think?”

“I thought you were just bored with your jock friends,” you scoffed, “because you know, I’d be bored out of my ears too if all I ever heard all day is insecure men constantly praising themselves.” you glanced at Reiner, trying to discover even the slightest amusement on his hardened face to no avail.

“Reiner, are you serious?”

He sighed, couldn’t believe his ears. The first time ever Reiner caught you being stupid beyond recognition, “For the millionth times, yes.”

“You’ve only said it once, though.”

“For fuck’s sake,” the jock grunted, but there was a slight smile arose from his face, “I like you, really much. Times eight hundred ninety-eight thousand.”

“And?”

“So would you be my girlfriend?”

And you said yes, after three minutes of hesitation, you said yes. With a laughter. Because the absurdity of you being with someone like Reiner was lurid. Yet still, you were in no capacity to lie when his good morning text had been the most unsubstantiated text you looked forward to every day.

You wondered why? It’s just text. But maybe, you tried to convince yourself, it’s because of the effort he put, of trying to wake earlier before you every morning although he was hardly a morning person. Or it’s the way he listened to your kind of music although he was practically tone deaf, and returned to you the next week with his analysis on why your favorite band’s first album was their masterpiece and that sadly they never outdid it with any of their following albums.

And maybe, it’s the sight of the topless Reiner in the football field, after a home match. The way he was quick to run to the side of the field with his Captain instinct, lurching himself towards the start of a brawl between the two teams’ players, heated by animosity over the match result. Reiner was strong enough to break at least ten muscular jocks apart from throwing punches at each other, and with his deep, stern, authoritative voice, he commanded them to “Stop it. Fuck off.” You remembered immediately leaving the bleachers and found the nearest toilet because you needed to breathe and that you felt things simmering in your nether area. You never felt like that before to any of your exes.

Reiner knew the mutual pining between the two of you was evident, and so he was left puzzled when you said, “But please don’t tell anyone yet.” He asked why, but you only shrugged your shoulder with an answer that gave very little explanation, “I just don’t feel like having people talk about us.”

Reiner trusted you, because at first, he thought it was for modesty, you were not a fan of the limelight, evidently. Or it’s for practical reason, you don’t want to be burdened by society’s expectation on how two adults in relationship should be. Reiner could make 1,000 excuses for you that would justify your terms and conditions, so he went with what you wanted, because he was so hopelessly into you.

Nonetheless, still he enjoyed holding your hand in the dark alley of the campus – away from all the prying eyes, or the girls that’d giggle walking past the beautiful giant. Still he liked to have you sleeping naked in his embrace, making lazy circles with his calloused digits on your small back, at the emptiness of his dorm room when his roommate was home early for Christmas. Still he enjoyed teasing you at unassuming place, at the quiet library, studying together in silence for the upcoming exams, he’d be sitting next to you, leaning to his chair and slithered his right hand underneath your sweatshirt, to playfully and quickly unclasped your bra, only for you to smack his stomach in annoyance. He liked you, and he liked how you scurried to the restroom to fix your bra. He liked to be with you, no matter in silence or in noise.

However, after six months, questions started to throb incessantly inside Reiner’s mind. Even after all the time you had spent together, why must still he go alone to the football team soiree? Why would you let his team mate thought that Reiner was single, and promised him chances with girls, left and right? Why were you unfazed to see the girls sliding into his DMs? And when you put on that tight, backless black dress on New Year’s Eve, why would you put it for your friends’ party, and not for his eyes only? Why would you color your lips with the blood red Chanel lipstick Reiner gave you, and smile at other people that’s not him?

Reiner could not make sense of you. He pondered, he wondered and he became jealous. He’d look at you intently and see whether there was any trace of other man on you that he had not recognized? He’d become quiet and his friends thought he had gotten sensitive over nothing. The captain had become agitated, irritable and his head was hardly in the game – all with seemingly no reason.

Reiner began to think that he knew the reason why. He thought it’s the boy you’d met at the Academic Writing class, with stupid name and equally stupid undercut. Porco Galliard, you said his name was. In an instance his name had become a staple in your conversation. When Reiner asked you out for a dinner, it’d be like, “Ah sorry babe, I got this assignment with Porco.” A trip to the zoo? “You know, Porco have this funny experience with apes.” A night out in his dorm? By the point Reiner had a half-boner forming already seeing you in your lounge shorts, you’d be giggling and stayed busy with your phone. Reiner asked, “What’s so funny, babe?”

“What’s so funny, babe?” he asked again, because you didn’t seem to hear the first time he asked you. Distracted, you showed a stupid meme on your phone, “Porco sent me this.”

Porco here, Porco there. Reiner was sick of hearing that dumb name.

He had tried to look up for his background, and he hated to find that all that ever came up about him were amicable. His friends knew him, said he was chill, said he was smart as fuck, said he had a cool family, said he turned down a track and field scholarship for law school. Porco Galliard is a cool dude, they all said.

At certain point Reiner had grown to be furious, and the more your text messages became sparse or the more you spent your Saturday nights without him, the more he set his mind to do something about the two of you. He had become so sick of hiding and he wanted the whole world to know that you were his. Especially that guy with a name that sounded like her mother hated giving birth to him.

So came that day. You hadn’t been replying to his texts since morning, and only did so after chains of messages he left.

[you | 11.35] oh my god reiner!!! I’M SO SORRY, i left my phone uncharged all morning. i’m heading to cafeteria rn, it’s muffin tuesday 😵👅

[reiner | 06.37] good morning baby

[reiner | 07.49] you awake now?

[reiner | 08.15] sleepyhead 😪💤 see you today pretty

[reiner | 10.23] i got practice today until late. see you tonight? my room?

[reiner | 10.55] are you in class rn?

[reiner | 11.36] wanna go together?

[you | 11.45] haha noo a lot of people there

[reiner | 11.45] who r u going with?

[you | 11.55] with pockooo haha we got class together after lunch

Pocko. Is that an endearing term you came up with for the jizzhead? Reiner thought, pissed off beyond compare. He paced restlessly in his room, trying to figure out what did Porco have that he didn’t have? Thinking of how his undercut made his head looked way bigger for his neck, just like sperm; and it made Reiner mad angry. “Fuck you, Jizzhead”, he hissed, kicking the pile of dirty laundry on his dorm room.

The cafeteria was bustling busy when you arrived with Porco. The two of you immediately joined the line for lunch and the muffin. The man was busy babbling about yet another stupid thing that he had done back in high school, but your mind was darted on the muffins that were sold off fast. You looked around and almost everyone you disliked were present – mostly Reiner’s jock friends and their girlfriends. The prospect of one day going public with Reiner and having to spare days in your life to socialize with these loud people made you squirm. Not that you were completely against it, you were just… enormously reluctant to do so. Also, what would they say about you? You barely existed for them, evident by how they just greeted Porco with huge affection, yet pretended like you were invisible despite the fact that you were talking and standing close to him.

Your mind was elsewhere, between eyeing the muffin and managing your detest towards the it crowd, you weren’t even listening to the small talk that Porco was having with some of the jocks, until the mention of your name spilled out of Porco’s mouth, “Hey, have you guys known ___ before?”

You blinked with surprise, and they looked at you unenthusiastically, “Ummm, no?” one of them said.

Porco stared at them in disbelief, as if not knowing you was a big sin, “Get to know then! She’s cool, she’s really into—” but even before Porco could finish his words, they averted their attention elsewhere, pulling out their phone like it was the most important thing in the world, and talked amongst themselves. How fitting, because the first thing they talked about as an excuse for ignoring you was to talk about Reiner, “The captain’s been grumpy. Haha. That man. What’s up with him?” You cringed, because you knew there was no weight in talking about Reiner that must be done at that time, that moment. They just wanted a reason not to be roped into talking to you, obviously because you didn’t think you were cool enough or some other shit excuse only them and their bobbleheads understand. So, conveniently throwing out Reiner’s name was an effective way to basically say ‘haha look at us talking about the coolest guy in the campus so you know we’re in this cool clique unlike you’. You read them too well. You couldn’t even be amused anymore.

Porco looked embarrassed, he smiled at you awkwardly and stayed silent, until one of the girls threw their attention back to the man dirty blond undercut, “Anyway, Porco, do you know Reiner?”

“Ah, I haven’t had the chance to.”

The girl frowned rather dramatically, “Oh my god, we all should totally hang out together with Reiner, right? He’s like—super cool.” her question was obviously in exclusion of you. You rolled your eyes and turned away to see new text from Reiner appearing.

[reiner | 12.15] im going there

[you | 12.16] convenient. right in time. your cool friends are all here and you can sit with them and be cool with them or whatever I guess haha

You immediately pulled your phone to your chest; you could feel your heart thumping. Is this it? Is this it? The question became menacing in your head, because you were not sure on what Reiner was planning to do. The line to the muffin was still far away, and it would be stupid to run away.

[reiner | 12.17] idgaf about em

[reiner | 12.19] i want u

You could hear the girls were still talking about Reiner. Reiner this, Reiner that. You were nowhere to lie that you could feel your chest heat up with annoyance. The way their squeaking voice praised Reiner’s body, Reiner’s personality, Reiner’s wit. For the first time, you knew you were experiencing jealousy, vibrant and up-close.

“You know what? One time, Reiner thought that the way I did my hair was so cute that he wanted—”

Just in time, one of the boys raised his voice, “Oi Reiner!” and in unison the jocks erupted, welcoming his arrival like they were in some goddamn party.

You could see Reiner walking towards the line you were in, his face was hardened and his walk was swift. You immediately turned away to look at the opposite direction, not wanting to see him.

“Yooo Reiner! Where have you been? We’ve missed you dude,” one of them said. You cringed at how they all tried so hard to sound cool, “have you met Porco, by the way? And his friend—”

“—hey, what’s her name again?” one of the girls chimed in, asking Porco instead of asking you directly, as if you were not there. At that point, Reiner was standing not too far behind you, and you pretended like you were too busy with your phone, hoping the floor would engulf you instead.

“Is she like, deaf or something?” the girl whispered to Porco with a jeer, before getting back to Reiner, “So, Rei, I’ve got this party—”

“—yo Capt, do you know that—”

“—have you heard about the news, dude? Like—”

The way all these people tried to suck up to Reiner was so pathetic and incessant, they all chirped like hungry birds all in a matter of couple of seconds. You hated them and you hated the situation.

“—come on, Capt, that would be awesome—”

“—oh my gosh, Rei—”

“—you must try it, Rei—"

“Shut the fuck up,” Reiner said. Rather abruptly. His voice was cold and deep, like he couldn’t give a damn in this world about any of them. Surprised, they all dropped quiet in an instance. You looked over your back at him. Reiner was staring at you, and at you alone, not even at the Jizzhead he had grown to hate so much, “you all talk too fucking much.”

You snorted, suppressing a laughter to escape from your mouth. Clearly, it was too audible, that the girls were now looking at you with complete disdain.

“Babe,” Reiner said, staring at you, while you were still facing the opposite direction, “babe, what are you doing with this Jizzhead here? I can bake you muffins remember? If you want it so much.”

Your surrounding fell deep in silence. Everyone was either confused or surprised. Murmur started to sweep over the crowd, most audible was: ‘Who is Jizzhead?’

You scoffed, finally turning your back, although still closing your mouth trying to prevent the laughter and the embarrassment to display itself.

“What the hell?” one of the girls asked in dismay, obviously she was one of the girls sliding into Reiner’s DM and sending him bikini photos by the pretense of ‘Rei, you should join us for summer holiday!’ when all she wanted to do was to show her tits.

“Shut up,” Reiner said to her, baffling the girl to complete silence, “and stop sending me your beach photos. They’re ugly.”

An uproar of restraint laughter was heard throughout the cafeteria.

“Babe,” Reiner said again, this time extending his arms toward you, gesturing for you to come closer, “now you know why I need you, right? My friends are fucking whack.”

Few laughter was starting to break. Yet Reiner was unfazed.

“Reiner, what—”

“—yo dude, what the hell?

“—who is she?”

“—are they dating?”

“And listen here, you hag,” Reiner now turned his attention to the girl who called you deaf, “she’s got a name. Her name is ___, and she’s my fucking girlfriend.”

Embarrassed yet amused, you finally let out a small chuckle, “Reiner, please you’re humiliating me.”

“Whatever,” he shrugged off. Reiner now turned his attention to Porco, “and listen here you, Jizzhead. You can be nice to her but keep in your fucking mind, she’s mine.”

Without hesitation, Reiner pulled your hand and yanked you closer to him. You stared at him for a second, eyes broadened and heart thumping, “Reiner, what are you gonna do—”

“—shut up.” he said, cupping your face with his gigantic hands, and pulled your face roughly to him, before landing his dry, chapped lips to yours. He had gone sick of pretending, and doing things in secret. So there Reiner Braun was, hungrily, longingly, sloppily devouring your lips with his mouth, so deep, so thirsty of your taste. He finally showed the world who the true owner of his heart was. You.

[albaedhoe]

four shots of espressos

pairing : albedo x barista!reader

summary : although it wasn’t any of your business, you begin question if it’s even legal to give this much espressos in one drink alone.

a/n : it’s not angst for once :) Since I’m from the uk, I will be using education terms that’s from here since that’s what I’m most familiar with :’) Secondary school = ages 11-18. Idk what the equivalent of A-levels are in other countries but you do them when you’re 17-18.

modern!au, coffee shop!au

tag :: @anormalguyreader

Determined to partake in something he enjoyed for his final years of secondary school education, Albedo took on art, biology and chemistry. Although the amount of work that goes into doing them was hard to keep up with at first, it wasn’t something he was foreign to nor did he regret his decision.

Only recently moving into his own apartment so that he could walk to his new school his original one didn’t enable him to do what he wanted. Albedo still needed to adjust to his different surroundings. Along the way he had found a quaint and quiet coffee shop, a perfect environment to concentrate on work. His apartment was starting to become too dull for him to find inspiration anyways.

In later months, Albedo would be thankful to whatever higher power lead him to this specific shop. Because he found a muse. One that would entertain his imagination and creativity no matter how many times he’d seen the same thing over and over again. His muse-

Stepping into the café, the scent of caffeine and baked goods filled Albedo’s senses. A bell above the door rang, its ringing alerting a staff member’s ears and the uni student watched as they perked up from behind the counter.

“Good morning! What can I get you today?” The workers voice was cheery but could do nothing to hide the fatigue hiding behind it, not knowing whether to find it unsettling or not, Albedo chose to mentally congratulate them for trying at least. Snapping out of his own thoughts, Albedo realised he’s been starting for a good few seconds.

“Uhm...”

Clearing his voice to try again, Albedo walks closer to the counter so that he wasn’t awkwardly at the front of the door. “I’d like a large black coffee with four shots espresso, please.”

-was none other than you.

Though this story between you and albedo was no love at first sight nor was it the kind that others would be envious of, you found yourself slowly finding comfort in his familiar presence and appreciating his rather good looking visuals. You’ve seen him around campus, always either sketching and painting intensely or solving quantitive chemistry equations on a lonesome bench or the corner of the library.

For weeks on end, you would exchange nothing more than good mornings or good evenings when passing by each other. Most individuals would be rather unsatisfied with that type of relationship, but you didn’t mind it. For you and him would already partake in plentiful conversations in your family-owned shop. Most days it just being you, him, your Spotify playlist and the usual older citizens in the shop.

“A large black coffee with four shots of espresso...again...”

Delicately placing the almost overflowing cup onto an empty space on the table, the tray in your hands trembled with the loss of mass. Looking down at the messy assortment of pens, pencils and paints, you shift your weight on one foot and flipped the tray under your arm. “So, what’s the project this time?” You ask.

“Thanks,” Albedo mutters, not looking up from the A3 sheet of paper and taking a sip from his drink. You watch as a frustrated sigh escape Albedo’s lips, the heat from his breath dissipates unto the air. “My teacher had asked us to create a ten pages portfolio of ‘the present time’, I don’t know what that meant but they had only said ‘you will understand what I mean when it happens’.”

“Yikes...How much is it worth?”

“twenty percent of my overall grade.”

“Double yikes,” you wince, understanding how Albedo felt.

“...”

“Well-” You start but was cut off by the bell of the door jingling, a child and mother entering the establishment. “Good Morning! I’ll be there in a second!” Turning back to your friend, you continued with what you were going to say. “If you need any help just call me!” Giving him a quick, reassuring smile, you rush behind the counter.

Albedo started to sketch the sight infront of him. He didn’t know what came over him, but the rising rays of the sun that peaked through the half open curtains had kissed your face so gently and serenely. Your soft smile when you interacted with the mother’s child through the glass panes, pointing at which pastry they wanted to try. Albedo did not know what you had said that made you, the mother and child giggle, perhaps a joke you made? Nevertheless, the sound of your laughter was an equivalent to wind chimes that danced with the breeze.

Stopping his sketching to truly take in what he had just drawn, Albedo tilts his head in fascination. It was a simple side angle of you, crouched on the ground with knees to your chest and hands resting on the tops of them. Your facial expression was endearing as you talked to the child at the other side of the counter, and the corners of your eyes crinkled in genuine kindness.

Maybe this is what his teacher had meant.

[lix-ables]

post 10297483 on this same topic. again.

ive been here what, a couple of months now. since the time i got here, i've been begging for interaction, begging for feedback, because honestly – i didn't realise that i needed it.

this blog became my safe space, and i really enjoyed writing. i enjoyed the time i had here, and i really liked meeting the talented writers on here, and made a couple of really good friends.

the reason for this post, is recently, there is a huge lack of interaction on this site, not just for my works, but for other writers as well. and it pains me to see this, frustrates me even. it's honestly such a simple thing, to scroll past a piece of work, like it and it stays there. that's it.

i didn't realise until now, that a reblog, really makes such a huge difference for me. for me, it felt i was getting some form of validation, some form of reassurance, even though it's not in a healthy way.

but for me to continue writing on this site like this, and me losing my interest in it altogether, is because of that lack of interaction. i keep asking you, do you know how we feel, every single time we put out a piece of work? do you know how many times we self reblog, because we don't know whether or not it's showing up on the tags? do you know the amount of effort we put in something as much as our writing, to contribute to you, the reader's entertainment?

at this point im tired of asking you to stop being a silent reader. there is no point in me continuing writing if my mental health is at stake, and if this is the way of me getting some form of validation cause i don't get it anywhere else. watching myself sit in front of my laptop, after im back from uni, to put out content for y'all, but seeing it getting absolutely no interaction, it hurts. it hurts even more that writers are facing the same thing. we're humans as well, i hope you know. we're writing, as a hobby, which doesn't feel like it anymore. at least for me. and it's affecting me in my interest in my majors as well, which is not the point but still.

it really hurts to see so many of my mutuals, and other talented writers putting out similar posts, and yet. you don't care.

anyways, i really needed to get this out, please don't be the reason writers leave. show them appreciation. they deserve it.

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Hot Chocolate (Birthday/Christmas Special)

Summary: Levi is bound to spend this birthday on his own, seeing that you're halfway across the globe as an exchange uni student. What he doesn't know though is that you have planned a huge surprise for him. NSFW 18+

Notes: sorry for any mistake you guyss please enjoy this

Pairing: Levi/ Reader 

Tags: f l uff, nsfw

Warnings: nsfw, the sexies

Disclaimer: I do not own the gif, I simply found it on Pinterest.

White heavy cream fell fluidly out of the carton it was stored, squeezed by Levi's calloused hand and into the small metallic pot that he rested his other hand onto. The mixture, an aromatic, dark brown hot chocolate, lightened in color upon a few stirs of his tool. Slowly with his hand he disposed of the empty carton in the recycling bin, making sure to wipe any stray droplet of white on the counter.

He blinked as his mind went blank, forgetting the next step of the recipe but only momentarily. His thoughts once again traveled to what troubled him, but he continued with his stirring in fear of burning the beverage he was set on making. With his teeth sinking dangerously at the tip of his tongue what he needed clicked in his head. Corn flour. A quorter of a cup.

He didn't bother tasting the mixture as he lowered the fire of the stove to the minimum, he simply marched to the corner built in cupboard, hands searching furiously for the porcelain vase that held this oh so precious corn flour that would act as the stabilizing factor to his hot chocolate beverage.

Seconds later he brought the fire to an halt absurdly, never ceasing with his stirring careful as to not have the mixture stick to the pot. He didn't like his chocolate adorned with burnt flakes or the taste they brought to his mouth neither did he like cleaning the burnt pot before having to pop it in the washing machine. As his hands reached for the cups he had set beside the stove beforehand to his alchemy, he helped the thick mixture in with a spoon.

The cups were immediately transfered inside the over; an attempt to keep them from any predatory fly that could have entered the apartment before Levi had a chance to realise and in addition keeping them sheltered as they reached a drinkable temperature. Levi threw the pot into the sink next, sighing to himself as he grabbed his thick latex gloves and out them on his hands. With a twist of his hand at the handle the watered started running on his gloves hands pot making him grab his steel wool.

His hand came to his forehead, wiping some sweat as he sighed again, hanging his head low as he gritted his teeth in frustration. His eyes squinted in anger, his hands dug into the inox of his sink and his heart sink dangerously low as he felt the room run cold due to the sun quickly setting behind the horizon.

Why had he made that chocolate, it beat him. The two of you hadn't spoken in at least two days and he liked -or rather chose- to blame it on your busy studying schedule, rather than the fight the two of you had over that call two nights ago. He had been to angry to admit he was acting like a brat to you, he had been too proud to simply say that he wanted your attention, instead he had resolved his anger into grumpiness, causing your overworked mind to snap.

You were gone as an exchange student in Japan for too long and both your busy schedules and the enormous time difference had dug their ways into Levi's life very negatively. Before you he had never lonely when he was alone, but now, now that he had gotten a taste of what it was to be with you, now that you had been ripped away from him from so long, he definitely felt lonely. And angry. And it killed him that he was almost on time for your arranged video chat, when you didn't even show any sign of being in existence still.

It made his boil though, by now, it must have been the 26th in Japan and you had spent your day ignoring him, not even bothering to open his message. Had he been so cruel to you while admitting he wanted you here with him? Was it that you didn't have enough decency to let him you know you were alright? That was what he simply wanted to know, in the end.

Sighing again he ripped the gloves off his hands and grabbed his phone. His fingertip touching the button provided him immediate access to his homescreen and he quickly entered Instagram dragging the homepage down a couple of times to let it load any new activity. Internally he knew, he would have been glad if he was to see a story or a post by you, any sign that you were alright would do for him.

Of course, as if on cue to shake him of his miserable thoughts his phone rang, buzzing in his palm. His eyes fell on the small window the revealed the caller id to him. It was Erwin, naturally, as he always used to shower him with phone calls on his birthday even up until the moment he was at his front door. Levi didn't missed out on those signs of affection, it's was quite the opposite really. He cherished them deeply. Seeing how much of an impact he had on his friends' lives moved him whether he showed it or not.

And so, while holding back his saddened sigh he picked up the phone, greeting his friend through greeted teeth.

"Hey Levi, uhm, I kind of need you at the moment, am I interrupting anything?"

"No," Levi spoke, biting painfully on the inside of his cheek in an attempt to hold himself back from sprinting out on his frustration. Of course Erwin could try and hide behind his finger, Levi knew that much. The blond was aware he wasn't interrupting anything, but he was still kind enough to ask; he always was sappily kind when it came to such sensitive subjects.

"Great look, I'm on route twenty two, fifth exit, I'm out of gas can you please come to my rescue and bring me some?" Erwin paused for a moment and then proceeded to mumble through an overly amused breath "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you tonight."

"Did you take your father's run down car again?" Levi questioned.

"No... yes. I'm sorry Levi I felt like I wanted to drive his car tonight. I shouldn't have to drag you here too, I'm sorry."

"No it's fine," Levi bit back, hissing at Erwin's unhealthy habit of wanting to drive his father's antique due to its sentimental worth. But then again, he reminded himself he wasn't in a place to judge. "Give me 15 and I'll be there."

Fidgeting his fingers on the counter without throwing a second look he came in contact with his car keys. The familiar jiggling sound gritted through the air proudly as Levi pierced his finger inside the key loop, finally pressing the keys steady to his palm. With another grunt, he hang up the phone, bringing the device to the palm of his hand once again.

His mind begged him to open his texts with you again -his initial goal ever since the moment he opened his phone- just to stare at the screen or at his unopened text, his insides begged to boil with concern at the process but he figured had all night to do so, prolonging his misery could definitely wait now that Erwin was in need. And thus he simply marched to the hanger behind his front door, eager much to quickly get a hold of his warmest jacket before having to step out in the cold apartment corridor and consequentially outside in the cold December weather.

___

You forced Hange to suppress her giggles as you slipped the metallic key inside the lock to your shared apartment with Levi. With an exaggerated jump though Hange let out another scream fill the air, ignoring yet another playful rasped gaze you consequentially threw her. Laughter bubbled from the both of you as you kept on locking eyes, amused by the upcoming execution of your plan.

The plan was simple really. You had Erwin call Levi for any emergency he could come up with and only when he left the house you and Hange would sneak in, light up the aromatic candles you spent weeks picking. You would make some hot buttered rum and light the fireplace to warm up the house. Then, Hange would leave right when Erwin would call you to announce that Levi was on his way back and you'd wait for him with the biggest smile on your face.

"Okay now let's see how much time we have." You said and rubbed your hands together to warm them up. Leaning with one hand over the wall you moved the heel of your left foot on top of your right one, pressing down enough so you could wiggle your foot out of the shoe. Doing the same for your other foot, you removed your jacket and hung it behind the door.

"Erwin said it will take Levi about twenty minutes to get to him, they shall spend about ten to fifteen minutes fueling his car, but he promised he'd try his best to delay Levi if we need to. And then add another ten minutes for him to get back." Hange spoke, fixing her glasses onto her nose.

"You think I have enough time to take a bath?"

Making sure to slip her shoes off after you, Hange nodded in your direction and proceeded to set her heavy backpack on the couch. One by one she took the candles and a lighter out, eventually smirking to herself as she tried to come up with a plan on how to neatly set them around the living room.

"Hange!" Can you put those in the bedroom?" You spoke, ripping your shirt off of you before your finger came to graze the side of your mouth as your mind sunk in your thoughts.

"Ha!" Hange huffed "as if you're even going to make it to the bedroom!"

Your cheeks burned as she spoke, eyes widening slightly at how your mind told you she was completely right. Of course you and Levi wouldn't make it to the bedroom at least until later tonight. It had been months since you had last seen him and it was his birthday, you wouldn't even be able to rip yourself off of his arms. Thus you simply threw a mellow smile at Hange as you sprint to the kitchen checking to see if you had all the ingredients you'd need to make your choice of drink.

Coincidentally, you opened the oven and your eyes immediately fell on what was inside. Your expression softened as two grey toned cups shone in your orbs, the smell they emitted deliciously filling your nostrils. You smiled to your self as you thought about how your lover didn't miss out on making your traditional Christmas drink.

It was unbelievable how kind hearted Levi was, in contrary to what people thought of him, you thought. Most of the times -and simply because he didn't allow otherwise- the only thing people who weren't close to him saw was a cold demeanor, a sharp tongue and a foul mouth. It all would be too ironic if they knew how Levi was behind closed doors. Taking notice of small everyday details, sticking to his beloved routine, cherishing moments with his loved ones, remembering everything most people would ignore about others and showing his love in the sweetest yet most Levi way were only a few of his virtues.

Of course he wouldn't miss on making your favorite strawberry scented thick hot chocolate, even if you had spent the last few days not speaking to him, even if as of now he remained ignorant as to why. You assumed he believe it was about that ridiculous fight and you could admit you purposefully riled him just enough for him not to expect to see you. You were sure, seeing he had shown a previous liking in surprises like this, that his jaw would hit the floor when he'd see you.

Guilt rushed through you at the thought of you making him feel miserable even in the slightest, but Hange couldn't just have you standing there, sulking in your anxiety over how things had led up to this moment. If you wanted to make it in time for when Levi came home you'd have to rush. Hange insisted on shooing you out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, urging you to act fast, before Levi came. Sensing she was right, you settled for running to retrieve a new pair of underwear and a clean towel before jumping in the shower.

Stretching your arms to close the curtain behind you as you stepped on the white marble tiles you twisted the faucet handle to the right, letting a deep sigh escape from the depths of your chest as the hot water started running.

___

The sound of keys jiggling together filled what should have been an empty apartment, making Levi's arrival known only to you who stood inside the kitchen. He stepped inside a few seconds later, ripping his shoes off of his feet before slipping into his fuzzy slippers.

His hands immediately reached for the wipes and rubbing alcohol he kept on a stand right next to the door, silently grabbing a wipe and coating it in the strong smelling disinfectant before bringing it to his phone and keys. He spent a good minute cleaning the items meticulously only stopping when he felt satisfied to set them on the stand. He took a step to turn around with his goal to walk to the kitchen and heat up his got chocolate. Judging by the time he could still try to reach out to you before the day ended.

With a quick glance around the room, though he found himself freezing in his spot.

"Great, now I'm so shit mad I'm seeing fucking things." Levi announced -seemingly only to his own self- the moment he laid his gray orbs upon you.

"No Levi, you're not seeing things baby."

Standing up for your seat on the kitchen table you shot him an adorning look; your eyes squinted and your cheeks puffed up, coated in a sheer scarlett color. You silently watched as his eyes grew impossibly wide, flickering between you and each lit candle that showered the room in plenty of romantic golden light.

His legs were slightly trembling, his knees going weak at the sudden need to intake all of what was unraveling before him, but with his heart hammering in his whole body he only managed to part his lips before even beginning to thing if what to utter.

"Merry Christmas and happy birthday my Vee." You smiled again, mouthing the tooth rotting sweet nickname as you walked to him with open arms and a longing look on your face.

He wasted no time, even if his head was starting to buzz in confusion and uncertainty, he bucked in his stand before sprinting towards you. His hands quickly wrapped under your bum, lifting you up on him while prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. With painfully squinted eyes his nose nuzzled up between your neck and your chest, inhaling your magnetising aura sharply as he span you around. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, embracing his head in a loving manner as you couldn't supress your bubbling giggles.

His strong grip on you wasn't ceasing, not even for a moment as he began mouthing his questions; he didn't even care that his voice was muffled by your own form.

"How- I mean when?" He spoke and only hugged you tigher onto him.

"Well, you thought I'd ever miss this day?" You placed a kiss on the top of his hairline. "I was supposed to be here days ago but my flight got delayed, so Erwin and and Hange came up with this surprise plan."

Levi's hands loosened their grip on you slowly was you tried to slide down his body carefully; this breathtaking moment could only ever last for so long, Levi figured as he set you down. Kissing you was the next task he assigned to himself, but it could only happen after he got a good look at your face.

God, he had missed you so much.

So many months had passed since the last time he had been graced with seeing you this close to him and in the moment what he was witnessing almost felt too unreal. Your tender eyes looked into his with adoration and warmth, your chest dwelled with tainted breaths as your hands slowly came to cup his sharp face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't responding at all, I really had to leave to go to the airport after that silly fight we had, I couldn't just tell you I was coming." You said and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. "Although I was really temped to."

Levi wrapped his arms around you again and hugged you to his chest- this time he missed on levitating you if the ground, even more fiercely than he had done before. He simply huffed in amusement in the crook of your neck, mouthing a sole 'thank you' against you.

The next kiss you shared was maniac and passionate in nature. His lips didn't just graze over yours, the engulfed them. He sucked onto your tender flesh as if his life depended on it and you couldn't get enough. You found yourself grabbing his shirt, then running your hands through the short spiky hair of his undercut.

His slick hands cupped your own face as he pulled back only to catch his breath for a moment.

"I've missed you much I can't even be patient to talk with you."

"Me too" you announced, a hazed look masking your face.

You took a few leading steps to the couch, careful not to disturb the candles in the corners of the coffee table that before it, much afraid of setting everything on fire in your despairate state to have him. Your mouth launched feverishly onto his as you threw him onto the gray sofa.

Levi didn't fight it, not even for a moment. His tongue shoved inside your mouth, rolling around yours, slurping and cherishing each corner of your mouth as he took small intakes of breath through his nose from time to time. His tender hands loosened their grip on the sides of your face, the action eliciting a small whine from your occupied mouth but to was quickly gulped down by the movement of his lips that came to suck on your tongue.

You felt his fingertips travel down your clothed body, skillfully sinking underneath your shirt before restlessly traveling back up taking the cloth away with them. You only broke away from each other for a singular moment, breaths hitching and tinting the air around you, so much that you could almost ignore the way your heart sped it's throbbing in your ears. His hips bucked longingly int you from underneath, the friction already driving you crazy.

As his hands shoved longingly inside your pants you let another moan slip from the depths of your throat, though it was guickly muffled by your lover's mouth attaching on yours , making you melt into him. You felt his fingers graze ever so slightly over your still clothed crotch, painfully flicking their way through your flesh.

Roughly, he pulled back, detaching his want body away from yours while fixing his gray eyes into you. He didn't bother speaking as he tagged at the sides of his shirt, ripping the article of clothing away from him in such quick movements, as if it was the only thing getting in his way from getting close to you.

With hanger widening his eyes he stared at you again, prompting you to put your hands into him, to feel him all the while he run his hands into your form. He failed in exploring your body as he had wished though, with a shagged breath he only managed to bring you close, in a proximity that didn't even allow a kiss to be exchanged. You simply nuzzled into the crook of his bare neck, rubbing the tip of your nose in calm circles against him as you breathed hot huffs of air onto his skin.

His back was still so muscular and ripped despite his skin being so overly smooth under your tender touch, the more small trails you rubbed over him the more he sighed in greed and over exaggerated longing. Licking his lips with a constipated look on his face, he placed a tender kiss on your collarbone before traveling back up, just to teasingly rub his bottom lip over yours.

Breaking the kiss you grabbed his hand, bringing his palm close you your face. You teasingly picked his pointer finger, making sure to scratch the inside of his hand with your nails as you brought the digit to your mouth. His mouth, running ahead of his own desire to stay quiet, blurted lewd moans at your soft suckling and with all blood boiling in his body he was unable to even think about chocking down on his sounds.

He was on his back before he even knew it. It seemed like squirming was the way to go now, right underneath you as you placed kisses all over his chest and torso. With slow hands you reached for his pants, fidgeting with his zipper and buttons before wiggling your arms inside the dark denim.

Quickly, any remaining article of clothing was discharged thrown anywhere on the floor; you could worry about that later but right now you couldn't seem to be able to pay attention on anything else than each other. You had missed him, he had missed you, there was only so much that the two of you could process momentarily.

It was the high of the moment mixed with your scent that pulled him even even more as you craddled him to your chest while never ceasing the bobbing of your hips. The kisses that he sucked in you, sped up the beating of your heart against his as soft skin mingled with your own. Even that was painful to him, the extend to which he had missed you didn't leave any space for him to pull just an inch away from you, as if he wouldn't ever be able to get enough.

"My Levi, I've missed you so much." You spoke with hitched breaths, lips grazing his earlobe ever so slightly.

Levi allowed him self to eventually grunt in response letting harsh huffs of air through his nostrils while trying to guide your hips to an alt.

"Keep talking like that and I'm not going to last." He spoke, his fingering digging into your thighs to put an halt to your movements.

It didn't work -he should have known it wouldn't work- because you only slid down on him longingly and fast, sending his mind in the familiar pre orgasmic haze he so wished to momentarily be freed from.

"Who said," you paused only for another tainted moan to slip outside your lips "I want you to last?" You placed a kiss on the skin behind his ear, careful not to suck and create any loud noise that close to his eardrum.

Levi only threw his head back, his hips starting to work onto a hard, quick rhythm against you. He trembled under your words and every deep thrust, every feel of your insides on his throbbing length was only contributing to the build up in his abdomen.

He hair, sweaty as it was, stuck on his forehead as it dripped, but you paid no mind in his salty taste as you kissed your way all over his forehead and cheeks, nose and jawline, trailing your tongue on any sharp edge of him.

Your legs were shaking now and much to your best wishes you struggled with your thrusting onto him. You only managed to gyrate your hips, earning another moan of him as you ceased your movements, sweat dripping off of your own forehead as if mimicking his antics.

His hands nearly slipped from your thighs as wet as they were but he managed to get the message you were trying to convey; with jaded breaths he started thrusting maniacally from underneath you, damaging through you as pleasure dueled in both your bodies.

Yearning splashed all over his face and his grunts only got louder. Your foreheads collided as you cupped his face, noses nuzzling up, eyes staring deep into eachother.

Gentle. His ultimate indulge into you was gentle and earth shattering at the same time. His veins popped in white hot pleasure and his chest boiled with numerous erotic moans as his abdomen screamed throughout him, leaving him with barely enough time to mechanically reach just to pull out. His head hung low onto your collarbone while his head throbbed, unable to come down from his high just yet. He couldn't even move his eyes to see you, although he knew by listening to your panted breaths that you were in the same position as him.

Pushing him back to lay down on the couch, you kissed all over his face for the thousandth time tonight.

"I'd never ever miss this important day, you know." You smiled, pressing your lips to the tip of his nose.

"It's not that special, brat" he spoke shyly as he cooed into your face rubbing his upper lip to your cheek. You recognised the action; it was a habit of his to coo in such way, any overly soft thing grazing his top lip indulged him in endless calmness and you hummed to yourself in amusement to the feeling.

"I missed you."

"I know. You said that." He huffed, his lips puckering to hide the playful demeanor behind his next words. "But I don't think I heard it right, mind repeating it?" His fingers trapped your nose between them and swayed your head from side to side before moving to your naked back to press you closer to him him once again.

"You're such a tease. I love you Levi."

"I love you too," He blurred with eyes that burned into yours and proceeded to place a sweet kiss onto your sweat drenched hair "so much, you brat."

Taglist go off: @ackermans-freedom-inc @hawkssnugget @berrijam @levisbrat25 @nobody-knows-anymore @callmepromise

[gisachi]

Hi ^^ I know that your requests are now closed but I was thinking that, given you have written jealous Shinichi, I would very much enjoy some jealous Ran! Maybe you can mix it with one of the prompts? Just throwing the idea out there, no pressure. Delete this if you don't feel like it, it's okay really. Thank you for writing these amazing fics, the shinran fandom is in your debt. ❤️

So this is the last (!!!) and longest (!!!) of the kiss prompts, and I dedicate it to multiple-requests Anon and to this Anon. I hope both of you still see this. It took me a while. ^^;;

P.S. Special thanks to @artycreaty for keeping this in check. You are awesome. 🥰

41. Kisses shared under an umbrella. 46. A lingering kiss before a long trip apart. (6,489 words)

.

.

.

Ran keeps telling herself she has no right to be jealous.

She has hundreds of reasons not to. They’re merely childhood best friends. Life would be much easier if she didn’t involve herself in his business twenty-four seven. Shinichi absolutely doesn’t look at her that way. And so forth.

She wonders why they’re even friends in the first place. If their parents hadn’t enrolled them in the same kindergarten, she was certain they wouldn’t even be on speaking terms. He lives in a world of grisly books and crimes, she in a world of martial and visual arts. Their hobbies don’t overlap. They excel in different fields. They enter the same university with completely unrelated majors. The only bond they have in common is their shared history. Literally bonded since they were four, until now at nineteen.

So when she sees him all jolly around his newfound circle who hold the same interest in Holmes or detective work, it shouldn’t surprise her as much. It’s part of university life, it’s normal, they expand their horizons, and Ran understands that it hits much differently when they bond with people who like the same stuff they do. Something she’s aware they cannot share a hundred percent.

She’s proud of him, and she absolutely has no right to feel jealous, especially when she sees him around taller, prettier, more interesting women from his course block. There is no reason for her to look away with a heavy weight in her chest everytime the women get giggly and touchy while he’s absorbed in narrating his stories.

Everytime she does, she reminds herself of how he didn’t seem to mind when she was casted as the protagonist of their high school play and the leading man was the handsome Araide-sensei. Or how he simply shrugged when she fawned over the brother of a classmate because he looked so much like the karate senpai she was crushing on. Or when she secretly caught Sonoko dragging the detective behind gym after P.E. to confront him about his opinion regarding an upperclassman courting Ran and his only response was, ‘She can like whoever she likes, Sonoko. I’m not her boyfriend.’

He never showed her any sign of jealousy, therefore he must not be into her. Simple as that. So it’s unfair for her to be treating him differently. Getting snarky just because he received sixteen new fan mails again, more now that they’re in uni, and two even coming from the popular criminology seniors he is often teased to? Or ignoring him unprecedentedly just because his eyes followed the back of a woman with long chestnut hair and voluptuous curves? There are plenty of fish in the sea, and he’s bound to be attracted to someone else. This is a pill she ought to learn to swallow eventually.

Eventually.

“Shinichi-kun, you never told us about your scariest case yet, tell us about it?”

Kaori closes her notes and so do the other two girls across her, and Shinichi’s eyes twinkle. He truly seems to enjoy study sessions with the little group they made consisting of some of his and Ran’s coursemates because they love listening to his stories.

“At the top of my head is this murderer disguised as a bandaged man, and he targeted us one by one…” and so the detective drones. Ran pauses typing and reminisces quietly. Ah, that one from summer three years ago. I was almost injured by that crazy man during my sleep but Shinichi woke me up in time.

“Ran-san,” Shun, her friend and coursemate, mutters beside her, also stopping his typing to listen to the detective’s story. “It’s ridiculous how popular Kudou-kun is with the girls. He’s full of wild adventures.”

“Yes, he is,” Ran says, smiling. “He’s been a girl magnet ever since high school.”

She watches as Kaori inches closer to Shinichi, listening attentively, chin on her palm and flirtatious smile on her lips as the detective rants on and on.

For the third time that afternoon, Ran looks away.

.

.

Ran keeps telling herself she has no right to be jealous.

She does, everyday, but it’s hard when he smiles at her, cares for her, holds her in a way she’s never seen him do for anyone else. It gives her hope every time the girls cling to him but he never touches them back, whereas he automatically slings his arm over her shoulder because she’s afraid or cold or he simply feels like it.

Then again, maybe she’s giving herself too much credit. Perhaps it’s a free pass for being around him for too long. She even gets to spend time with him during weekends and holidays. It isn’t special because it’s normal.

And that’s all she’ll ever be, a normal girl in his eyes.

“Ran? She’s pretty special.”

Ran reacts to the mention of her name and catches Shinichi looking at her. “She appears quiet but she can kick anyone’s ass without breaking a sweat. It’s bad if you cross her,” Shinichi gloats with a grin.

“Oh my god, really? We can bring her with us then!” Kaori claps her hands in excitement.

“Ah... But she won’t like that,” he follows up, wary. Ran has missed the topic they were talking about and now she’s curious.

“But ghosts aren’t real and Mouri-san can give them a good beating!”

“Gh-Ghosts?” The color in her cheeks drains, eyes freezing at Shinichi who has probably already expected that reaction, for he sports that same look of concern as those times he had expressed whenever she joined him in his way-past-bedtime elementary school adventures.

“We’ll investigate an abandoned house I always pass by walking home,” Kaori explains. “Last night I saw a faint cigarette light at the second floor window. It might be a fugitive or a homeless person or a ghost, who knows?”

“You don’t need to come if you don’t want to, Ran,” Shinichi assures.

Gulping, Ran contemplates whether going with them will do her any good. It’s a nice change, it’s been a while since she last tagged with Shinichi in his cases. But she isn’t exactly proud of shrieking like a little kid in front of serious criminology majors who may feel like she’ll drag their covert investigation down if she joins.

“...I’ll pass,” she answers meekly, and his coursemates sulk except Shinichi, who offers her a smile of understanding.

“Man, I thought we’ll be able to see Mouri-san in action!”

“That’s ok, maybe next time. We still have Shinichi-kun!”

“Shinichi-kun will protect us, ne?”

“Hah. Right. Invite Hakuba too, use him.”

“Oh c’mooon, Shinichi-kun!”

Ran closes her eyes, struggling to zone their voices out.

In her silence, Ran ponders if she has made a wrong choice.

.

.

Ran has no right to be jealous. So it’s unfair for her to be treating him this way.

The following weekend, Shinichi narrates what happened in their late-night investigation. Hakuba wasn’t there so Shinichi was the only available guy as usual. Ran refuses to hear any more details, both of the haunted house and secretly of the girls chancing onto him during the investigation. Shinichi is puzzled.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“Nah, just swamped with work.”

“On a Sunday?”

“Yes.”

“Want me to assist?”

“No.”

Her replies are curt from the couch of his house, not looking at Shinichi on the other end as she mindlessly cleans up her digital sketches. She hates how snappy she sounds but her brain is too absorbed with conjuring spiteful imaginations to even think of masking her annoyance.

“Ran, hey. Look at me.”

His low voice freezes her from drawing, and she slowly looks up to meet Shinichi’s serious eyes.

When this happens, she knows he’s reading her. She inwardly chants a prayer because now isn’t a good time. Whatever time isn’t a good time. She doesn’t know what to say when she’s aware everything she’s been feeling is irrational and unfair. She’s being selfish.

“You’re… stressed.”

“No, I’m… Eh?”

He scoots closer, an arm’s length away. “Your dark circles are more prominent now, you need a break.” His eyes turn a soft blue. “Let’s have dinner out? My treat.”

Ran is surprised, to say the least. The last time he invited her out was two weeks ago. She’s become so used to seeing him around others that any initiative from him sounds too good to be true.

“But I need to finish this project by tonight.”

“Let’s have food delivery then!” Shinichi announces, not rattled by Ran’s indirect refusal. “I know exactly what you want. Ramen and shaved ice.”

Her eyes thin at the absurdly goofy expression she knows he makes when he’s being mischievous. “Clearly you’re ordering that ramen for yourself. I only like shaved ice.”

“Damn! Miss Detective gets it.” A mile-wide grin stretches across his face, earning an eye roll from the half-smiling woman. “Let’s eat together on your short break, please?”

He leans within a respectful distance and she sees his smile better, pair of kind eyes locking with her overworked ones. “It’s been a while.”

Her heart throbs for him. So much.

She caves - of course she does - and breathes her acquiescence.

After two long weeks, they have dinner together, just them and Shinichi’s ramen and Ran’s donburi and shaved ice, Shinichi taking a spoonful of dessert from the cup when she isn’t looking and Ran snatching a slurp from his take-out bowl and laughing when he catches her.

With how heartfelt his laughter is in her presence devoid of any mysteries, Ran knows she’s probably giving herself too much credit, but for once she wants to believe she is the cause of why Shinichi’s happy.

Just for that night, she gives it to herself.

She’ll change the dark colors of her digital artwork to brighter ones after they eat.

.

.

Despite everything, Ran finds it difficult to contain her recurring jealousy.

The more she shares precious time with him, the more it gets harder to suppress the selfish emotions. What is so unsatisfying about being the best friend is that she is only the best friend. No more no less. At the end of the day, she isn’t the one he gets to cuddle with, to tease then kiss, to tell ‘I love you’ to, romantically.

“I love you.”

Ran feels her heart about to leap out of her chest.

“But please. Stop. Tearing. The. Cushions!”

The little furball he has scooped underneath a throw pillow wiggle from his grasp. The kitten and detective engage in a brief staring showdown before it jumps away to hide under a farther couch.

Snapping out of reverie, Ran watches her childhood friend slink dejectedly onto the partly scratched furniture. He’s fortunate enough that his mother isn’t around to give him a long lecture on Why Pets Aren’t Allowed in the House 101. She can always take Yukiko-san’s role and reprimand him for it, but as for this and the cat, she finds herself not wanting to intervene.

“Kaori-san sure is taking her time with her parent’s permission. By the time she does, Momo would’ve shredded all the pillows in this house.”

“You named the cat?” Ran asks, amused.

“She did.” He thinks for a moment, then sniggers. “Actually I did. I suggested a random name. She took it.”

Ran merely hums. What can she say? They’re getting close. Close enough to team up as parents to an adopted kitten.

“I’m surprised you also agreed to keep Momo when you never took in animals before.”

“Kaori said she’ll treat me to the latest Detective Samonji movie this weekend if I do. Can’t resist that.”

“Just you two?”

“Yeah.”

A beat. Then he turns to her.

“Wanna join? I can ask her to count you in since you’re kinda helpi—”

“N-no need,” Ran quips, “It’s—It’s fine.”

“No really,” Shinichi insists, “Kaori-san has a lot of money, she—”

“I’m going to Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum with Shun-san this weekend... so... I can’t.”

“Ah.”

Silence.

“It’s, um, for a project,” she bolsters.

“I know.” The faintest smile graces his lips. “It’s your thing. Both of you.”

“Mm.”

He doesn’t say anything else after that.

“Shinichi, you’re a detective, right?” she blurts out of the blue.

“Yeah...and?”

Then deduce what I feel. Here and now.

“Then you’re going to enjoy that movie!” Ran forces a beam, giving Shinichi a thumb of approval. “And you can discuss it with Kaori-san over dinner. I’m sure you two have a lot to say about it.”

Shinichi’s eyes linger on her, reading her like a book, and Ran has her mind reeling again, afraid to be read.

“Yeah, we do,” he finally says, ending the conversation.

Only a few words are uttered the rest of the afternoon.

Momo resurfaces and curls beside Shinichi.

Momo’s purring is loud, but Ran’s shattering heart is louder.

.

.

Ran must not feel jealous. She is not a girlfriend.

Because she isn’t a girlfriend, he’s free to fall for and date anyone else. Who is she to gatekeep him? There are plenty of fish in the sea, and he’s one big catch. Ran believes she’s a big catch, too. With the way she loves dearly, her future boyfriend is going to be very lucky.

Her future boyfriend is not going to be him.

“...mber the required fieldwork in one of my majors I told you? We actually go by batches. The first batch did theirs last month. The second batch was last week… and I— Ran, are you listening?”

“Ah! Yes,” Ran notices they have already reached her station and are now walking two blocks to her apartment. “Your fieldwork, right?”

“...Yeah,” he carries on. “I’m in the last batch... This whole winter break.”

“I see, I understand.” She smiles, getting what he means. No Christmas or New Year’s Eve together. The first time since they’re four. It’s fine, honestly. If it’s a required activity, then there’s really no way to go about it. She isn’t going to lash out just because she can’t be with him in her most favorite time of the year.

“And Hattori-kun and Hakuba-kun will be with you?”

“Hattori did his last month. Hakuba is in the previous batch. I’ll be stuck with the girls.”

Ran’s heart momentarily squeezes. “Where will your fieldwork be?”

“In Akita.”

Her pupils constrict. “That far?”

“Yes... so to cut on expenses, Kaori-san offered her house for me and the others to stay while we’re there—”

Kaori. Again with the tall, beautiful, intelligent Kaori. She bets it’s amazing to spend the holidays doing what he loves and with Kaori beside her, snuggling with him by the fireplace in a romantic snowy night and she might even confess, and it’ll be a great catch for Shinichi, and he’ll return with a girlfriend, and—

“Kaori-san is lucky.” The words flow out of her mouth, unbridled.

Shinichi looks at her. “Lucky?”

Ran remains quiet and keeps walking. It’s dangerous to say anything. She only has one thing in her mind and she doesn’t want to say it out loud. She has no right.

“Ran, hey.”

She doesn’t stop walking.

“Ran.”

She ignores his call.

“Ran… you’re jealous.”

She stops walking.

“Excuse me?”

“...You’re jealous…” Shinichi repeats quietly.

A contrast to his calm tone, his irises beset hers in the cold twilight and Ran attempts to shield herself but her bag and umbrella are in the way. She thinks of turning away but her feet are frigid like icicles, and Shinichi steps closer.

For the third time, he declares, “You’re jealous.”

Hearing her thoughts echo through his words renders her speechless.

It seems to take a moment before Shinichi’s brow arches, lips curl up as his eyes refuse to stray, and she hears a faint exhale even, like he’s exasperated, and suddenly he’s smiling - or is he smirking? sneering? - and...and...

It stings, is her immediate reaction.

For the longest time, she’d wanted him to take a hint. But if she had known this was how he’d react, she’d rather live a life having him oblivious of her emotional struggle. Dealing with that is more tolerable than witnessing him gaze her down in blatant mockery. He sneers as though he’s about to crack a joke and move on and forget such a laughable matter. That’s the last form of acknowledgment she wants for her honest feelings.

Heartbreak and shame and pain build up in her chest like a volcano closing eruption. Water begins to cloud her vision. She clenches her fist tight on her umbrella and Shinichi notices, and he takes another step forward.

“Ran…?”

“I am not, and you’re a fool.”

In a span of a breath, she’s sprinting in the opposite direction, tracing the path where they have walked, ignoring the distant yells of her name behind her. She runs and runs, and as she runs farther, with her thoughts muddy and breath short and dry, she wonders if she may have overreacted.

If he’s done that on purpose, screw him. If not, screw her.

After all, they are merely friends and she has no logical reason to act this way.

“Stop... running... will you!”

She hears heavy footsteps close in. It takes all the energy Ran has to prevent herself from turning her body around but his strong grip overpowers her.

“Let me go!”

“Why are you running?!”

“I can’t...deal with you!”

“Why? Was I right?”

“Right or wrong, it doesn’t matter!”

“Why doesn’t it matter?”

“Because I am your best friend!”

On another occasion, she would’ve successfully jilted away and run farther, but Ran is floored when he yanks her into a one-armed hug, so floored she drops her umbrella to the snowy ground.

“Stop saying that!” he hisses in her ear, frustration apparent.

“What are you— Let me go!”

He hugs her tighter.

“If you don’t let go in three seconds, I will screa—”

“I am happy!”

Ran stops struggling, eyes widening in shock.

Icy huffs tickle her neck as he half shouts, “I’m happy you feel that way!”

“You’re...You’re happy because I’m suffering?”

“What? No! I—”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? How?” The hurt in her tone is impeccable, prattling muffled against his chest as she spares him no moment to butt in. “You think I wanted to feel this? That I enjoy griping in helpless jealousy? And you’re rejoicing that I am? How full of yourself can you be?!”

“That’s not...You don’t underst—”

“I do understand! I understand that I am so incredibly stupid for catching this disgusting heap of emotions for an obnoxious, stuck-up deduction maniac that is my best friend and maybe it’s better after all that he never, ever sees me the way I see him!”

“Stop saying that, Ran!”

She thinks he has broken away, but he drags her back with an insistent tug, crashing his lips onto hers as she stumbles into his arms.

All willpower rippling through her disintegrates quickly like snow in high heat.

An impatient pop resonates as he separates, eyes slowly opening, breath thick and ragged.

“I know that is not how we explain things, but does that explain anything?”

She hears it. The madness. But more than madness, yearning bleeds through his voice so much that her frustration turns into physical pain. Blinded by an all-consuming ache, she tips her chin and presses her lips back against his, demanding for cure in the wrong place. Shinichi freezes, then relaxes. He moves his hand to her nape, four fingers in her hair, thumb treading her jaw.

They look like a scene in a movie.

Under his umbrella and hidden from view, they communicate through brushing lips and tilting heads. His mouth closing over hers with gentle force, her hands splaying across his chest, heavy with something that makes his heart pound under them.

She is so lost in the chase and his tender embrace that for a second she forgets she is kissing her best friend.

Best friend.

This doesn’t explain anything. It worsens it.

She pulls back, ending what she has so recklessly started. “N-no, I’m— No.”

She pushes him away, gathers the stuff she drops, and runs without looking back.

“Ran!”

He shouts her name. Twice.

On the third call, his footfalls die down. On the fourth, he stops running.

She doesn’t.

.

.

Thirty minutes before midnight, Ran stands outside his gate, boots buried half foot under the snow as she rings his intercom for the second time, thinking to herself how foolish she must be to cut communications with him for a week and then show up his doorstep looking miserable like a stood-up date.

It’s the start of winter break.

He’ll leave for Akita in ten hours.

She needs to give his Christmas present before his departure.

She’s crazy, pathetic, still frustrated, and hurtfully in love.

“Oi. You better have a good explanation for why you’re buzzing at goddamn midnig—”

“Shinichi.”

His surprised gasp is apparent even through the intercom. A rustle follows and with a croaky voice, he responds. “...Ran.”

Surely he isn’t expecting this. Not after the tantrum she threw days ago. He probably thinks she hates him more than ever. But what she truly feels is more overwhelming than all negative emotions combined, and may god grant her all the strength to address it all, tonight.

“May I come in?”

“The house is—The house is a mess I, um. I’m packing my stuff for...”

“I’ll help you.”

“...”

She’ll understand if he decides to turn her down. But the answer that follows the deafening pause is a low and quiet ‘Okay’.

Despite psyching herself hours before she came, courage wanes when he opens the front door and gate in his pullovers. She is welcomed in, and the trip up his room is wordless. Shinichi only talks when he points out that he’s already packed clothes for two days and will need help for two weeks’ worth. He lamely laughs when he instructs her to pick the tops and layers, and he’ll take care of the pants and underwear.

On a normal instance, she would’ve humored him and they would’ve been talking right after. Now she simply pulls an empty smile and then they fall back into silence.

She supposes he’s trying to act unbothered, to treat what happened a week ago as a one-and-done glitch in their friendship, never to be discussed again. She cannot fault him when she’s trying to do the same. But it’s not easy when in the stillness of the night the echo of their altercation howls, raging persistently in their ears.

What has he been thinking of for the past week?

Has he been kept up all night by the words she said and the words he left unspoken?

Are they still friends? Will they still be friends after this?

The kiss... What about the kiss?

So many questions. So little words. So little time.

Ran is seated on the floor, folding shirts and stuffing them neatly in his duffel bag. Her back faces Shinichi who is sorting out bottoms in his cabinet. She senses him sit on the floor, back against her but not touching. Neither dares to speak first.

A ringing phone cuts the silence.

“Mm, still awake. Good for two weeks right? Gotcha. No, I’ll meet you girls at the station, no need to fetch me. Pfft. I can walk. Ok, see you tomorrow.”

If Ran wasn’t so hyperaware of where she is and what she’s done, her mood would’ve shifted to the one she’d been trying to avoid. Now isn’t the time to think about that. Midnight sneaking out to go to his house is something she wouldn’t do even on good days. She scans her bag on the far couch, deliberately bringing a bigger one to hide his gift. Maybe she can just sneak it in his bag and leave once she’s done and he’ll discover it only when he’s prefectures away. Brown has always suited him, and he’ll definitely find the overcoat useful as spare protective gear.

That’s right. She always cares for him like this. She is his best friend first, and... and nothing second.

“Don’t just leave after putting your present in my bag. At this hour, I can’t let you walk home alone,” he says swiftly.

Ran’s eyes fly wide.

“How did you…”

He doesn’t say anything and continues with his business.

Again with the throat-drying silence.

Something in Ran’s gut compels her to speak, but she is surprised when he does first.

“I... I don’t like Kaori-san. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

Ran stiffens, pausing mid-motion from folding. “I’m not…”

He leans his back completely against her and she shudders, voice reverberating through her skin. “Ran, if you could just hear me out.”

Unable to talk and move, she does.

“Kaori-san and the rest... They know I love mysteries. They know I want to build my own private detective agency. They know my favorite Holmes’ story is The Sign of Four. They know how many crimes I solved in Tokyo. All the information about me which anyone can read from the internet and newspaper and from what I told them when they ask, they know. Ran, you know all that. All that and more.”

He angles his head to the ceiling as if he’s talking to someone there. Ran supports his weight, curling to her knees as she silently listens.

“You know of my first ever deduction because Christ, my first deduction was about you. You know of the two cases which haunt me until this day because I watched the culprit die in front of my very eyes. You were with me the nights I locked myself in here thinking about them. You know of the interesting, the boring, the absurd cases, everything, because I told you or you were there. You know of the odd way I play the violin while I ponder over a case. You know I forget to eat when swamped with new books to read. I have three copies of The Sign of Four but the one I keep beside my bed and read almost weekly is the one you gave me on my tenth birthday and that is all I need. You know me for me, Ran. Everything about me that is off the record, the good and the bad, you know all of those. Only you. The same way I do... about you.”

She feels him crane slightly to the side, addressing her.

“Ran.”

“Mm.”

“I love you.”

Ran’s heart almost completely stops beating.

“I love you,” he whispers, “more than I am even supposed to.”

All words seem to have fizzled out of her vocabulary as she sits still, stunned at what she’s hearing.

“I’m happy growing up with you, studying with you, bickering with you, acting stupid with you, investigating with you, eating with you, napping with you, hugging you, holding you, taking care of you, simply... being with you. Before I know it, it’s not the cases or Holmes or mysteries that complete my days, it’s you.

“For you to keep repeating that ‘best friend’ phrase, I…” He lowers his head.

“For who knows how long, I’ve loved you as that and more.”

Someone pinch her because in no way can this be real.

“I was happy thinking you’re jealous because it meant a sliver of chance you feel the same way. We could’ve remedied the misunderstanding easily, Ran. We could’ve talked it over like we always do. But I was stupid and emotions were high and in the end I… kissed you…” he takes another deep breath, “But—but you kissed me back, and my heart couldn’t stay still...”

Pulse drumming loud, Ran tilts her head on the side where he leans, wanting to see the slightest expression he makes as he continues.

“If my deductions are wrong and you’re mad for a different reason, and—and you returned that for a different reason...” she hears the pang of remorse in his tone, “then please forget I ever said anything and I’ll leave myself to die in humiliation once I’m out of your sight.”

He lays one palm flat on the floor and she notices.

“But if my deductions are right and you were indeed jealous, I...” She feels his head swivel enough to feel his warm breath fan across her cheek, before shifting back front and releasing a slow, guttural exhale he’s kept contained within.

“I’ll wait... until you accept it. Accept me.”

Ran may have choked on her throat for how long she’s held her breath.

In spite of herself, she knows she doesn’t need to think of what to say. She had it all in her head before coming here. Yet expressing it out loud is a different matter.

She isn’t ready, but when will she ever be ready? Shinichi undoubtedly isn’t too. Yet here he is, laying the groundwork for her, no holds barred and a stuttering mess at that. How she plans to build from it is the question she asks herself next.

Inhaling as though bracing herself, she places a hand beside him, pinky slightly grazing his.

“I didn’t... You never showed any signs.”

Careful and calm, he extends his little finger over hers. She doesn’t flinch, and both hands crawl closer until two fingers overlap.

“Either I’m a great pretender or you’re incredibly dense.”

“I’m...I’m not dense.”

“I’m a bad actor, then.” He slides his hand further.

“I was trying so hard to be a supportive best friend for you.”

“I sensed that but ignored it because I didn’t want to assume anything.”

“You did though. Now we’re here.”

“Would you rather we aren’t?”

“I would rather we spend the last weeks of this year talking like normal than being stupid idiots before you leave.”

“It’s just two weeks, Ran.”

“Two special weeks I would’ve wanted to spend with my best frien-... with you.”

Without knowing it, his hand has completely nestled atop hers, four fingers curled between her thumb and index finger.

“Ran... You must really hate the idea of falling in love with me.”

“Eh?”

“You’re so wrapped with the thought that we’re simply best friends that you hold your love in chains as though it isn’t permitted to grow.”

“I… I didn’t want to ruin the only connection we have-”

“Two friends falling in love are still friends… They are also more. You cannot ruin an indefeasible connection. Friendship and love may be the only bond we have, but they’re the most important bond of all.”

Ran falls quiet.

“Geez…”

He releases a thick sigh, brushes his thumb across her splayed fingers.

“I have shit art appreciation skills, but I can take you to museums too... as a friend and as a date.” A beat, and a mumble. “Even to better museums than Tokyo Metropolitan Art Museum.”

She darts her head sideways, realizing something.

“Were you also…?”

“No.”

Ran doesn’t suppress the heartfelt giggle that bubbles out.

“Shun-san has a boyfriend, Shinichi.”

“I—” he pauses. “I wasn’t asking.” Ran giggles more.

“Shinichi.”

“Yes.”

“I love you too.”

The hand above squishes hers all too suddenly like he’s been blown away and is needing something to hold onto.

“I came here to give your present and to apologize for being so shallow and for acting without thinking and for a lot of things actually... but now I feel there’s no need, because then I wouldn’t have...” She looks down at their intertwined hands.

Before she can return his squeeze, he recoils.

“Oh, y-you do apologize. Running away like that.” He coughs, and she can practically hear the tripping in his tone.

“Aren’t you already used to it? I’ve done it many times,” she chides.

“No. Apologize,” he insists. “And look at me while you do.”

Ran’s stomach twists, heart kicking up a step.

It’s easy to talk without eye contact, but to be requested so after confessions are exchanged—

“Face me, Ran.”

The familiar voice of yearning strums her heartstrings, tone sounding a lot like a plea than an order and Ran finds her head instinctively craning at an angle, hand coiling on the floor trying to calm her nervous beating heart. She feels him shift behind as well.

She takes all her time to face him, partly unsure what to do, partly knowing exactly what she wants to do. Despite the deliberate slowness of their movements, it is when they lock eyes that time truly seems to stop.

Shinichi appears so different, so soulful. His blue irises glimmering, fixated on nothing but her as she reveres him with matching intensity. The same guy she treats as her best friend looks at her with tender love in his eyes, darting down her lips and up like no best friend ever would.

“I love you,” he says, breathless. “Make me your boyfriend.”

A wave of emotion sweeps over her, heartbeat fluttering in overdrive as they huddle on the floor, bags and clothes and time forgotten.

“From best friend to... such a shift-”

“Nothing will be different.” He rests his forehead on hers, gaze of soft blue patient though more intimate now, knowing what they share is mutual. “We’ll still do what we do... With exclusive romantic commitment and sweet nothings that translate to ‘I love you’ in more ways than one.”

She attempts a jab on his chest but he catches her fist, soft but jesting beam all too apparent and she does but play along.

“What about when we fight?” she asks.

“Same. But...” he slides a thumb over her quiet lips, parting them slightly, “I can do this once we make up.”

“...Like right now?”

“Like right now.”

A genuine smile is the last thing she sees before delicate pair of lips lands on hers, capping their one-week fight and their last night of the year together in the best and most unexpected way imaginable.

.

.

Ran keeps telling herself she shouldn’t be jealous.

Not because they are simply best friends, because they aren’t. Not because life would be easier if she didn’t involve herself in his business twenty-four seven, because it wouldn’t.

Not because Shinichi doesn’t look at her that way, because he does.

She shouldn’t be jealous because she absolutely has no reason to, is all.

“I haven’t forgotten about your present. I was planning to buy yours in Akita.”

“Stop lying, you totally forgot it.”

“I didn’t. Stop that.” Half-mast eyes rake her side profile, and Ran covers a mirthful grin with her mitted hand holding the umbrella, then yawns. Hours of packing and talking and laughing left them with roughly four hours of sleep. It isn’t like she slept the whole period because while sleeping in his room isn’t new, cuddling while they sleep is. Ran couldn’t simply shut her eyes and heart to that.

“I believe though,” he wraps a hand around her free one, pocketing both of them in his brand new overcoat, “I gave half of my present already.”

“Hnn. That doesn’t count as a gift.” Her hand shifted, coddling his own to a warm fit.

“Really?” A smug smirk pulls up his face. “I believe I am a nice present, Ran. That’s why they—”

“Screw this. You are unbelievable. A humbug. Why do people like you.”

“I know. Why do you like me?” Shinichi laughs as he avoids the swing of her umbrella.

From afar, they see Kaori and the girls at the meet-up point outside Tokyo Station, though they seem unaware of their presence yet. Suddenly feeling conscious, Ran feels the urge to disentangle her hand, but Shinichi holds on, firm.

“Why?” He asks in a low voice.

“I dunno… maybe this isn’t the best time…”

“Isn’t now the best time?” His smile is proud and natural, not one ounce of reluctance visible.

Although she gets what he means, that doesn’t free her of shyness and guilt. Somehow she feels like apologizing to Kaori for… she doesn’t know. She just wants to. Letting her see them like this makes her think that she’s giving her an indirect slap on the face. Shinichi certainly won’t agree because ‘What’s with women and their logic?’, but still, whether or not it’s all in her head, Ran needs more time to prepare for this.

But to her surprise, Shinichi lets go of her hand. They are still a few feet from view when he steps in front of her and turns around. “Maah, fine, I get it,” he huffs, then smiles. “Then, just give me your umbrella.”

The moment she does, Shinichi closes their distance and dips his face onto hers. Ran is given no leeway to gasp as loving lips seal her quiet. It isn’t as long as what they shared a week ago, but the emotions are loaded and full, speaking fond thanks and temporary farewell.

She doesn’t realize she has closed her eyes until he separates, and she’s met with the most tender, most angelic expression he wears only on the rarest occasions. He’s saying without telling that her feelings are valid, she doesn’t have to worry,  and he doesn’t have eyes for anyone but her. Somehow, the snow is the sea and fish are swarming around but neither cares because they have already caught each other.

“You don’t have to, silly.” Three layers of pink blanket Ran’s puffy cheeks.

“But I want to.” Grinning, Shinichi hands her back the umbrella. “You don’t like hand-holding. You don’t like being seen. Don’t you think that’s a great compromise?”

“Idiot, many people saw...”

“No, they didn’t!” Upping the duffel bag slung on his shoulder, he steps back and gives her one last goofy beam. “I’ll see you next year, Ran. I’ll call as often as I can.”

Wordlessly, Ran watches Shinichi’s back as he jogs to his waiting companions, who by then have already had their eyes pinned on the approaching figure.

“That is Shinichi-kun! ...And Mouri-san!”

“Ehhh!!?! You’re a thing!”

So much for being subtle, Ran flushes inwardly as she returns the wave the other girls are giving her. At that moment she really does feel immature for her past conduct. All of them are sweet. Even Kaori.

“I knew it Shinichi-kun! Mouri-san is sooo lucky, I’m so jealous!” Ran hears their banter and sees her jab his bicep before acknowledging her. “We’ll take care of him, Mouri-san!”

The Ran from one week ago would’ve had her heart crushed by such declaration, but now she’s nothing but pleased and the smile that forms across her lips is nothing but honest. “Make sure he doesn’t drag your group into a random dead body, Kaori-san!”

“Hey!” surfaces Shinichi’s shout amidst the mincing laughter of the group and the onlooking passers-by, and Ran bids her last wave before they enter the station.

Smiling to herself, Ran returns home, the lingering promise of his kiss committed to memory, knowing that she doesn’t have to get jealous because she has no reason to. Their indefeasible bond is all the assurance she needs.

.

.

.