#please stop subtly abandoning your neurodivergent friends

[deepenthevoid]

I have no friends and I keep telling myself I like it that way… “I hate people!!!!”… because I’m autistic and an introvert and somehow people don’t realize that I think and act differently from allistics and neurotypical people (the horror!) and they expect me to act the same way and it’s SO FRUSTRATING. Why do people not communicate properly?!? You’re upset?!? I GET IT. Tell me about it! Like, I’m so willing to take constructive criticism and listen to you tell me how I went wrong or whatever but you have GOT to accept the same! It’s a two way street! Why do people not understand this?! We can BOTH be upset. Just because you’re upset at me doesn’t mean the friendship needs to end… your lack of clarification and communication is what ends the friendship, not me. It’s so fucking… I CANT READ YOUR MIND. I CANT READ YOUR TONE. I DONT KNOW IF YOURE UPSET OR WHY YOU ARE IF YOU DONT COMMUNICATE!!! Please like.. this is me BEGGING for help. I’m so sick of it! This is why I just fade away and hide because no one cares! It’s “me! Me! Me!” Or “you! You! You!” Like… PLEASE.

[koumi-blog]

Since @atsoraasayoma’s replies to this post cannot be reblogged, let me add the screenshots:

I want to add some things about this matter (please, bear with me and excuse my poor english!).

I could swear that the person that made the confession obviously ships Mimi with someone else. It’s totally ok, but it’s unfair to use the “unhealthy” card and to reduce their relationship to just bickering because of their seemingly diametric personalities, because it’s not true. At the same time, this person is subtly trying to guilt trip Koumi shippers, and it’s not the first time that I see someone trying to disdain Koumi shippers in this very site or stating that all the Koumi shippers are the same (just a bunch of rude fanatics) because certain Koumi shipper didn’t behave properly some time ago. Stop doing that, guys. Let people ship whatever they want, and at least if you are going to criticise a ship, deign to explain yourselves further and to elaborate your arguments.

Returning to the main subject (the alleged toxicity of the ship). This person is judging their relationship only through their negative interactions, omitting their positive moments, forgetting the stage play and Kizuna, and without taking the whole context into account. In first season, they obviously clash because they don’t know each other well, plus Koushirou is a neurodivergent kid with some issues that doesn’t know how to behave socially, while Mimi comes from a sheltered home and she is not used to being ignored. By the end of their shared episode (1x10, if I can recall it correctly) their relationship improved a lot (Koushirou even abandoned his dear laptop in order to save her!), but it’s absolutely normal that they don’t interact too much, because first season put the focus on certain dynamics and relationships (not ships), and their character arcs don’t go hand in hand.

In the second season, Mimi is living in the United States, so she is absent for the most of time, and when she is present she mostly interacts with 02 children. But it’s Koushirou the one who contacts her (I don’t remember if it’s in her first or second appearance) and tells her that a portal has opened in US. This means that they are in permanent contact, so we can safely assume that they are friends. Not best friends like maybe Mimi and Sora (and you know, Koushirou is Koushirou) but friends anyway.

In Diaboromon strikes back, even though their interactions are quite comedic/tension relievers and Koushirou is too focused in their mission, Mimi is shown being friendly and comfortable around him. In the closing credits, we can see them like this:

In Tri, we learn that Koushirou developed (finally!) a crush on Mimi and he wants to learn to properly dress because he knows how much she values fashion and because he wants to dress better for himself. So, Mimi constitutes a double motivation. But he never changes the way he behaves in general or around her. He is capable to tell her off when it’s necessary, even if he goes a bit too far with the “self-centered”, bit he isn’t telling any lie: Mimi is a self-centered person, and 1)That is not a bad thing if one learns to put others’ needs in first place, as she does, and 2)Although she is self-centered, she likes her still. Last (but not least), there’s a parallel between Taichi/Yamato and Koushirou/Mimi, that tells us they can argue/have different views but at the end of the day, they care for each other.

In the Stage Play, we can see Mimi and Koushirou bantering and being comfortable with each other, despite Mimi almost breaking Koushirou’s personal computer. There is also a phrase that Mimi says to Sora about Taichi, that goes something like that, “it’s not worth to waste your time on a guy who refuses to bulge”. The context is not Koumi, but if we take into account that Koushirou is always willing to give in when it comes to her (and in the stage play he concedes few times), you can read that phrase as a Koumi hint (that doesn’t mean that Mimi returns his feelings, but that she values guys who aren’t stubborn like Taichi).

Finally, in Kizuna, we learn that Koushirou helps Mimi with her business (not in the movie, but in one of the special shorts). She especifically flattens him by saying that he is “incredible”. A thing that doesn’t say about the other digiguys.

So no, their relationship was never toxic. They value each other, they care about each other, they disagree sometimes but they are capable of give in when they have to, and they complement each other very well despite being polar opposites, because they also have similarities (they are both extravagant about things!). And their relationship digievolved with time, to the point that Mimi entrust her entire business to Koushirou.

Thanks for reading!

Full confession: I just can’t see Koumi being a healthy relationship. I really can’t. All of their interactions through out the first two seasons and especially Tri are proof enough. They seem to bicker and be at one another’s throats more than anything. For starters Izzy is low energy and pretty introverted while Mimi is high energy and a major extrovert. It just feels to me like they would argue nonstop and neither would get what they need out of the relationship.

[deepenthevoid]

I’m going to start this by saying I’m not going to say which writer it is. And also, I’m neurodivergent.

I really really despise writers who everyone looks up to but is actually quite rude behind the scenes. Like this is a one-time scenario and I had good experiences with them beforehand but I do find it quite rude for someone to drop off the face of the earth after being quite friendly with you and talking nearly every day.

I can absolutely understand a hiatus however just lacking communication as a whole? They still post all the time and I had to chase after them and ask what I did. Why couldn’t they just simply say “hey, can you not? I have a lot of pressure on me currently.” Or whatever is bothering you? ESPECIALLY when I made it known I would appreciate any feedback at any time??

I am neurodivergent and I thought I had made a great friend and really enjoyed their presence in my life and it STILL very much hurts me- because I ABSOLUTELY still support them, I LOVE their work and recommend it to all my other friends who need recs- to see them talking to others, even TAKING ME OFF THE TAGLIST.

Please, y’all, speak out. I understand I don’t know what the other person is going through and that’s why I ALWAYS make it known they can come to me. However this is ridiculous. Especially because now their friends, fellow editors who are pretty respected, are acting non friendly to me for no reason. It really deeply pains me to the point I want to block them. All of them (I usually end up doing this with my neurotypical friends, at least for some time, because it hurts me to not have proper communication).

But like I said, I love their work and even though we are no longer friends I still wish them the best and success in all their endeavors. Just from now on, can you please communicate better? At least, try?