#please send patrick pictures i need him rn

[moo-cowsays-ahhh]

i have the stomach flu becasue i had to go to my moms and dads wedding (long story: but they are getting remarried after being divorced for 15 years)

and im all alone in my apartment throwing up

someone send my patrick stump pictures please i need him rn :(

[rome-theeempire]

I'm so upset. I watched My Policeman and it was such an amazing experience for me but I couldn't tell one of my closest friends cuz she was sexualizing it the whole time.

Before I watched it she explained the s*x scenes like it was hard p*rn and I was immediately uncomfortable anticipating skipping scenes. But I watched them and they were beautiful it was still erotic in nature like they're literally having s*x but it was so... lovely it was like watching a painting. It wasnt just a violent lust frenzy it was passion and idk what y'all's definition of passion is, it differs but to me passion is the desire to make the one you love feel good, make them happy and from tending to them, you gain pleasure IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SEXUAL but basically you don't even have to receive in order to be satisfied.

(that doesn't mean you don't deserve to receive love from your partner. A healthy relationship require consent/boundaries and mutual love)

then a wave of gender dysphoria hit me. They way they held each other, their hands, shoulders, chests. I wanted to just rearrange my genes. I literally started crying in forensic science after hearing my teacher say that chromosomes from your father determine how your genes make you look "gender wise" all I needed was one stupid fcking Y. I felt also felt a fear cuz ik most ppl only watched it for Harry that is 100% fine cuz same but please don't make it all about him, this is a gorgeous gay love story that shows the brightness of love and the pain that was brought by society's simple-mindedness which still exist today. The ending didn't necessarily make me cry cuz they were finally happy like they used to be.

I experienced a joy in seeing queer love told and directed do beautifully and a deep despair from the pain they had to go through in between lovely scenes along with a wave of gender dysphoria crashing into my face.

🚨 SPOILERS HERE🚨

Also I hate Tom's wife I'm sry I understand that he still cheated on her but she did NOT have to send Patrick to jail they could've killed him!!! She could've confronted them in their own space but she genuinely believed that Tom who was her friend was evil and not cuz he was with her husband but because he was a HE. She demonized Patrick for sleeping with Tom but never demonized Tom for sleeping with Patrick cuz she believed Tom was being seduced by Patrick instead of coming to the conclusion that Patrick and Tom were both GAY and they weren't sick or evil. She literally has a friend who reveals that she's a lesbian and how they were the best of friends a second ago and now she's looking at her like she's different even though she looks and sounds the same.

Even in the future she's reading Patrick's diary seeing how Tom had loved Patrick waaaay before THEN she's shopping with old Tom and she saw an explicit gay couple in a shop like they were smooching each other's necks and she still called them FRIENDS making Tom cry. And this whole time she's just been in denial trying to convince herself that Tom isn't gay and Patrick is a seductive snake (even tho he is beautiful omg this cast🤭)

She already hurt Patrick and Tom and still does it even now. When she's getting RDY to take Patrick in and care for him she moves a picture of Tom and her on their wedding into his designated room like she's claiming him and gets upset that Tom doesn't want to stay in the house when Patrick is there. And finally wants to tell him that she reported him to the police even subtly accusing him of HURTING CHILDREN.

Now I thought Tom was angry with Patrick but no he was avoiding him cuz just the knowledge of his presence causes feelings to rise and he was pretending to be straight for a mighty long time but clearly it's not working cuz She then admits she's been trying to keep Tom, thinking if she got rid of Patrick, Tom would "snap out of it" cuz Patrick is a gay witch apparently.

And she has just been upsetting herself cuz there was no passion in their relationship, not even simple lust, BUT there never has been! it's been like 60 YEARS, and there's no evidence of children or grandchildren in that house sooooooo....yea.

It was just a continuous circle of unnecessary pain mixed with some mlm sweetness and a lesbian shout-out.

[codswalloping]

32. “You’re everything to me.”

For @landofsonlali, some T-rated fluff with teasing and romantic declarations under the influence: David/Patrick with a side of David & Stevie (super thanks to @nervouscupcakeinspace for helping me with the concept!)

There were eight voicemails on Patrick’s phone when he got out of rehearsal, and his heart leapt into his throat as he pictured car accidents and heart attacks, robberies and electrical fires. He shouldn’t have shut off his phone at all, but it was the first read-through, and he’d wanted to look professional for the Elmdale Players, since they’d been kind enough to cast him as Billy Flynn in their production of Chicago as his debut role with their group.

Seven of the messages were from David, and one was from Stevie. Patrick was about to hit Call Back when a text flashed up on his screen.

David [10:31pm]: Do not repeat do NOT listen to the voicemails please erase them all rn please

Patrick [10:32pm]: Is everything okay?????

David [10:34pm]: It’s fine sorry I might have to kill Stevie tho can you find out for me good places to dispose of a body in Elm County and also DO NOT LISTEN TO THE VOICE MAILS ESPECIALLY STEVIE’S she is a lying liar who lies

Patrick [10:35pm]: Yeah sorry I have to go listen to these voicemails now brb

He ignored the furious buzz of incoming messages that followed and pressed play on the first voicemail.

“Hi, Patrick, this is David—oh fuck I fucked it up already.”

The second voicemail: “Hi, David, this is Patrick. Which, obviously, it isn’t, but I thought it would be funny and romantic to send you a voicemail as an homage to the first time I ever called you, which it would have been if I hadn’t fucked it up the first time. Okay, bye.”

Voicemail three: “I should have said in the last voicemail that it was really Stevie who fucked it up by distracting me, which she’s still trying to do RIGHT NOW, incidentally—” (Patrick could hear Stevie’s voice, in the background, going Hiiiiiii Patriiiiiick, sounding very, very stoned) “—so I’mma go somewhere else so I can finish this very personal call IN PRIVATE.”

Four: “Okay, it’s me again, um, obviously, and I just wanted to say that Stevie and I have been having a really great night getting stupid and talking about, um, stuff, and I miss you and I hope you’re having a great time being Richard Gere, you’re gonna be so great, they’re really lucky to have you and so am I. Lucky to have you. So lucky. And I miss you. Wait, I’m pretty sure I said that already. Okay, I’m a little bit fucked up, and I should probably go see what Stevie’s doing right now becau—” The fourth voicemail cut off mid-word.

The fifth voicemail was from Stevie, breathless and nearly unintelligible through her own laughter and through David’s loud protests in the background. “Hi, Patrick, this is Stevie and I think you need to know that David told me earlier tonight that you are everything to him. He said that to me, in those words. Tonight. To my ears. And I know he’s not big on sincere professions, so I wanted you to hear it, at least from me since he’ll never have the balls to say it to your face, direct quote—Ow! Ow! David, stop, you dirty motherf—”

The sixth was David again. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry. Please ignore—Stevie, shut up or I will end you, I fucking swear to god. Please ignore the message that she sent you, which is complete bullshit, never happened, totally out of context, and also I’m so high right now I honestly don’t know what I’m saying, so. Yeah. Bye!”

The seventh: “Um. Okay. It’s not not true. Because you are. Everything. To me. And I’m not ashamed of that. Although it was super cheesy of me to say so and I probably wouldn’t have, in those words, if I weren’t kind of fucked up, but I should, because you are, and you should know it.”

And the last, eighth voicemail: “Mmm, that’s, like, a ton of pressure to put on anyone, though, so I just want to say you’re not literally everything because I do have, you know, other things in my life, like...I don’t know, my stupid family, I guess, and the store, although to be fair a lot of that is also you, and...okay, I would have said Stevie except that she is literally sitting here laughing—Really? You’re just gonna? Laugh…in my face, yep, that’s what she’s doing right now, and you know what? Fine. Erase this entire night, erase all these voicemails, I take everything back, and I’m sorry but I have to go and commit murder now, bye honey, I love you, you can visit me in prison, I guess, or something. So. Ciao.”

That was the end of the voicemails.

Patrick hit the Call Back button. “Hi,” he said, when David picked up.

“Oh my god. Hi. Um. Fuck. You listened to them, didn’t you?”

“Oh, yeah. Having a fun night with Stevie?”

“No,” David said. “I hate Stevie. Please don’t make fun of me.”

“I won’t,” Patrick told him. “I would never.”

“You do! All the time!”

“And yet,” Patrick mused. “You still think I’m…”

“Don’t! Do not. This is so unfair.”

“Okay, okay. Is Stevie still with you? And still alive?”

“Yes,” David said, sulkily. “She’s alive. For now,” he added loudly, obviously for Stevie’s benefit.

“That’s good. Tell her I said thanks. You know, for...everything.”

“Oh my god.”

“You’re everything to me, too, David,” Patrick said. “Go drink some water, okay?”

“Um,” said David. “Yes. That’s...okay. Yes. I’m still gonna need you to erase those voicemails.”

“Never in this life,” Patrick said. “See you tomorrow, love. Good night.”

[swearronchanel]

As per request, 2.05

You guys have been so freaking sweet and kind  to me with your feedback since I started making these ridiculous posts, it’s insane but I love it!❣️ I literally started these as a joke because my one friend who watches call the midwife didn’t pick up the phone (and bc I was under the influence whoops hahaha it happens) but now I have so much fun posting every week! I’m sure I won’t stop these any time soon (what will I do when this series is over until Christmas? Yikes lets not talk about it yet)  Anyways @marialujan22 requested I rewatch and post for 2x5 & shit it’s been a while since I’ve watched series 2 but I couldn’t say no! Besides Im in a good mood because I have 10 days till spring break & only like 8 weeks left in the semester so here we go ..

idk if I’m mentally prepared for this

THE BIKE SONG I LOVE IT

“Somewhere far away, scientist we’re working on a magic pill, rumored to make pregnancy a case of choice..” Hell yea birth control, deff a magic pill in my opinion

Crazy that it took 3 series for the pill to become a thing & then there was still lame ass government guidelines

Jenny Lee! lol I often forget about her sorry not sorry, I liked her but she left. ya no importa

I love how “mature jenny” still narrates even though her character is never even mentioned anymore #letmenarrate lol jk I like Vanessa Redgrave’s voice

“Meanwhile other scientists were trying to send humans to the moon” fuck yea Hidden Figures

If CtM went up until 1969 that’d be lit, like the episode on mad men when they watched the moon landing! Just replace them with nuns and nurses and babies & replace the liquor for tea 😂

Shit I’ve said typed so much already

SISTER MJ💕 I wanna smack myself she’s brushing her teeth & I thought of that stupid toothbrush song from last week’s episode kill me

Nora’s pregnant again uh oh

Cynthia! SISTER E! Jane! It’s been so long

My bby Trixie 💕😍 I miss her pin curls! But now she’s serving those 60s looks so I’m here for it all

“Take that off this minute before you go to hell” LMAO TRIX YOU CANT TELL KIDS THAT

lol who am I kidding I would’ve said the same

I love sister Monica Joan, id quote everything she ever says but that’s too much work

Vicar’s wife? But who was the vicar?

LMAO WAIT DOESNT SISTER MJ FAKE A HEART ATTACK??

YES SHE DID IM DEAD I LOVE HER, WELL IT WAS LIKE ANGINA BUT IDC STILL FUNNY CAUSE SHE DIDNT WANNA GO

PRECIOUS SISTER BERNADETTE 😭💕

I STILL CANT BELIEVE MY BBY SHELAGH WAS A NUN, ITS SO STRANGE TO GO BACK AND SEE HER IN THE HABIT, LIKE YOURE PREGNANT NOW, WITH DR TURNERS BABYYY!!

anyone else really wanted to know how she was going to tell Sister Julienne “um i was already done with being a nun and now im love sick, I can’t stop thinking about Dr Turner so  I gotta ditch this habit”

damn I feel so bad like she did not want another baby & had no choice but to deal with it

No Jenny, tea is not gonna help right now

And heres the lady that scammed her

How much is 2 guinnis ? Idk how to spell that u already know I’m an ignorant American

Did she really tell a married woman keep her legs closed? It Doesn’t even matter if she was married or not like who are u anyway?? I would’ve bitch slapped her too, good for u Nora

Sister MJ saying her horoscope was right, we are the same😭

Wtf is spotted dick? Also I laughed because I’m immature Lmaoo

Sister J eating the pudding, she knows how to get to sister MJ 😂 I love them

Trixie teasing Jane about the Reverend lol aw

“I can’t knit I had a heart attack this morning” ME TRYING TO GET OUT OF THINGS

8 kids in one bedroom though yikes

Cute and classic bedroom moments 😭💕

“Naughty version of eggnog” like coquito? Lol nah, coquito is the bomb

IM CRYING SISTER BERNADETTE LOOKING IN THE DOORWAY

THIS BREAKS MY HEART EVERYTIME

THEY FUCKING CLOSED THE DOOR ON HER, MY BBY. I WANT TO HUG HER 💔💔💔 she deserves the world

Who is this irrelevant ass vicars wife? “Cherrio”

I’m so sorry Nora

Ew wtf a rat just bit the baby?

“Just tell me what you want sister” SHE WANTS YOU DOCTOR

THE WAY THEYRE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER OMG IM SHOOK

WHAT THE HELL TIM WHY DID YOU RUIN THE MOMENT ?!

sister MJ wants to roll bandages, make it happen! lol I love that Cynthia and Jane unwrap them all for her 😭

Aww i love babies !! but that one with a funny nose uhh

SISTER BERNADETTE BLOWING THE WHISTLE AND CHEERING 💕 MY HEART SHE IS SO ADORABLE

Aw I wish Trixie could have another scene going through old pictures and maybe share old stories with the new nurses💔 unlikely but you know I can hope. SHE DID HAVE THAT PHOTO OF HER AND CYNTHIA ON HER MIRROR LAST SUNDAY💕

“I’m a woman on a mission” beatrix, light in my life

Curly locks lol, when I was younger I  was called Shirley temple and when I dyed my hair I was called Goldie locks.. mind u that lasted into high school 😂 I’m staying blonde for good though, I don’t think I can pull off anything else

DONT GO OUT WITH HIM TRIXIE, HE’S TRASH

Laura Main’s angelic voice ✨👼🏼

who am I kidding she’s an angel

you know what would be fun and a dream? to go out with the ctm cast and get drunk and take trashy snapchat videos singing

Gin & a hot bath??

Trixie looked him up lol, good move

BUT HE’S STILL TRASH and an asshole

Pickle knife ?

again, this irrelevant vicar’s wife? vete ya

Everyone thinks Sister MJ is senile but she knows what’s up with Sister Bernadette..

“..but is all blank sadness and continued tears”  MY HEART💔 sister Bernadette/Shelagh has spent the majority of this show crying/being sad/distressed ugh!! Laura Main plays is beautifully but I CRY!? Let her be uninterruptedly happy please 😭💕

she (and helen) ruined me tbh, I used to have dignity

Is Jenny really naive or is she just pretending not to understand??

SEE SISTER BERNADETTE IS ON SCREEN AGAIN & IS UPSET

“I almost wish I was physically ill..” okay bRb CRYIN. THIS IS WHY I CANT WATCH THESE OLDER EPISODES I CRY TOO MUCH, I DONT LIKE TO SEE HER UNHAPPY

Remember when I started the show and didn’t know it was gonna ruin my life? Or before I grew attached? Yea me neither lmaoo those were the days when I thought downton killed me. I Didn’t know what was coming 😂 still love downton though rip #downtonmoviepls

Knitting needles?? aye dios mio

HA GREMLIN TIM AND JACK

Again how much is a gunniea and how do I spell it? I could google it but I’m busy here

She was willing to sell her wedding ring and risk her life for an unprofessional abortion. DO YOU SEE THE ISSUE? This isn’t just the a period drama either. Shit is real

“Are babies more valued because they can survive or do they survive beside they are more valued?” good question sis

lol Jane was so sweet and just bounced with no word

AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE SHE WENT THOUGH, THANKS FOR THAT NZ CUT SCENE

Trixie being a babe and getting ready to do her nails 😍💕 I wish I could do mine well but I’m trash and so I pay to get them done

The cross cutting in this scene is crazy but so well done (& yes look at me using real terms lol, I took a Music in film class last semester and had to know editing techniques 😂, I did fairly well too)

I really don’t know how she survived this

My bby trixie looking gorgeous as per usual. I love her so much, Helen u kill me

NO COÑFIO TRIXIE, HE’S NO GOOD

Haha why did I not remember the Gone With The Wind reference? Cynthia was so cute, I miss her carefree and happy

FRECO MOVE YOUR DAMN HAND, YOU ARE TRASH.

HE’S FICTIONAL BUT ID STILL FIGHT HIM

my poor bby😭💔 it is not your fault , he’s trash!! But this moment between the nurses warmed my cold heart

“Matrons in charge, virgins of iron” 😭😭

Aw Earth Angel playing, ✨🎼 I highkey pop to 50s/60s pandora stations

Jenny yes it’s illegal but do you think that matters rn??

TIM AS MAID MARION LMAO

Sister Bernadette looking at Dr Turner ah omg 😭they’ve come so far.

It’s not your fault Jenny but you should’ve told someone

Sister B & Tim won 👏🏼

LMAO ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THAT POST “WOAH CALM DOWN IM JUST TRYNA DATE YOUR DAD”

and she’s down, and the glasses flew

“You’ve hurt your hand” “well I’m sure there’s no need to amputate” ah sister b/shelagh lowkey has some of the funniest lines she just slips them in and people miss them !!

Here it comes ..

THE MOMENT..

“Would you like me to have a look at that?” UHM YEA

No but seriously I can barely remember what I thought when I first watched this but I knew something was gonna happen because a nurse can handle her own damn cut & well you know, she was in love with him

HE KISSED HER HAND. A fucking doctor kissed a nuns hand people, how scandalous & this was THE MOMENT I KNEW I WAS CORRUPT AND WAS GOING TO HELL, I AM SATAN I WANTED THE DOCTOR TO KISS A FREAKING NUN ON THE MOUTH LIKE WTF WHO RAISED ME? MY MOTHER WANTED IT TOO SO IDK BUT THIS KILLED ME, LIKE R.I.P HERE LIES GABBY, I WAS IN THE GROUND DECEASED. I’m actual trash. Someone dispose of me in the proper bin #recyle

for real, this is when I really knew that I was never going to love any other show like this and I allowed it to ruin me

BUT HONESTLY WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING? THATS A BOLD MOVE

BOLD IN GENERAL BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW IF SHE LIKES YOU BUT BOLD x1000 BC SHE IS A NUN, YOU KNOW MARRIED TO GOD, VOW OF CHASITY AND ALL THAt??

What if she would’ve freaked tf out or told sister Julienne? I don’t even know. I’ll just be grateful for how things turned out

“At this moment I only know I’m not turning my back on you because of you but I’m doing it because of him” AHHHH, DONT WORRY BBY GOD LOVES U AND UNDERSTANDS YOU LOVE HIM AND THE DOCTOR, LOSE THAT HABIT AND GO PROPERLY KISS PATRICK 😭

Sister MJ judging the baby contest is the purest thing & I need it to cleanse my disgusting soul that wants a dr to get with a nun #notsorrythough

“In Nonnatus we were good at tending other’s wounds and there were times I felt we were all each other’s children..” brb I’m crying I love that they’re like a family 😭💕💔

I’m so happy they didn’t kill Nora and she actually was happy in the end. I really wasn’t sure for a moment (obviously when I first watched lol)

“ Free reliable contraception came too late to help her, but in time the scientists triumphed. Her daughters and granddaughters lives remained transfigured, long after man left fleeting footprints on the moon.” Vanessa always knowing what to say in the end.

Lets see how the pill is going to be reintroduced this series, I’m interested  in how it’s going to play out.

I’ve said that so many times though so I’ll be done

The End.