#please pay no attention to the fact that you have to PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE of paying your rent online now :D

[jukesjoint]

I don’t know man. I loved how tonight was emphasised throughout Sinners. It was so subtle, like going in blind to watch it and not realising it was only going to be the one night where they all live to feel free even just for a moment. How being free for Black people meant only having to experience that when no one else can really see.

And having the night to be able to experience that because a lot of us consider the night time to be a time, a place where you are not judged for anything. Not your mannerisms, your skin colour, how you talk because it’s still, slow. The emphasis on night (tonight) was, to me, foreshadowing how you are only ever going to get the chance to feel like nothing’s wrong. I also feel like it has to do with the fact that the night, that night in particular was hiding something they all didn’t know was going to happen.

I researched about it more and came across an excerpt from Freedom in the Night Antebellum Slave Life After Dark (Smith, 2017). There was a different way that slaves practised their nightly activities than during the day. There was a lot of rules, they could not really socialise with anyone else and, obviously, seen as less than so they don’t have the privilege to promenade, share stories, or laughter.

The ruling class, whites, made sure they didn’t get to experience a lot of goodness during the day. And how the day was a time where you couldn’t be how you wanted to be. So little things like Pearline getting eaten out, Mary being able to be in a space where integration was welcomed (in the dark), and her relationship with Stack. They blossomed into something that would’ve never happened if it was day time.

It also applies to the scene of Sammie singing I Lied to You, how every culture from past to present to future was pulled into one space. Being able to practise it without the watchful eye of the white man. The song also plays a role in how activities in the dark are essentially lies. It gave slaves a sense of serenity, but that wasn’t going to last long. The famous lyric that goes, “Somebody take me in your arms tonight,” (there’s that word again!); singing it at night, the atmosphere enveloping everyone who worked and had a fake persona during the day by force into its arms. It was basically telling them that you’re safe and free to do as you please tonight, but only tonight.

(I’m annoying, but I have so many theories these are just few) And fire being a huge part of how the night plays out. Fire was seen as a form of rebellion. I thought of it as a cleanse of being able to be a human being during the night, but also being able to experience some form of warmth (sunlight) and still feel free at the same time. “By perusing the available narratives of the formerly enslaved, I found many harnessed the natural light from fire as a mechanism for resistance or protection (song sequence with Miles character, Sammie). But it was also seen as a form of violence too. The play with fire in this movie is incredible because fire cleansed them of Remmick, of their souls finally being free and released to rest by the sun.

I just think Ryan Coogler is a visionary who understands how to symbolise something at the right time. He’s pretty much prompting us to read more, which I’m all for because I love it hence this terrifyingly long essay of word vomit that people won’t pay attention to, but the observation I did of it. It’s so stellar.

References

A Meditation on Natural Light and the Use of Fire in the United States Slavery

Freedom in the Night Antebellum Slave Life After Dark

[skitskatdacat63]

Stop flirting....

[fortune-maiden]

May my building's management company step on legos for the rest of their life.

[inuiiwonderland]

Empire

Being crowned as empress of the Yuunkaedangon empire at the age of 17, you begin to start loving the new status and power. But it soon gets a bit boring and demanding the moment you turned 18. Harem? Heirs? Tf not!

Chapter 3

Words: 900 (I think)

-

You watched closely as azul walked around his new pavilion. He was adorned in the finest of silks and jewels. You watched as he paced through the room, curious.

“I hope it’s to your liking”

He turns around, beautiful blueish purple eyes staring right back at your own.

“It is ... .thank you” You smile. You notice that azul is the shy type.

You grab the small box near one of the tables before making your way up to him.

“A welcome gift” He looks at the box in your hands before gently picking it up. He opens it and is met with a gorgeous hair pin. Azul stood there, stunned.

“Call Atsushi if you need anything” You say before leaving.

Azul was indeed a very beautiful man. The first time you saw him, you were absolutely stunned. He was tall, well mannered, and beautiful. Mrs. Ashengrotto was, in fact, happy to meet you. She introduced herself and her husband all the while a nice pearly white smile graced her lips.

Azul was rather shy. He was quiet the whole time and only spoke when a question came to him. You assumed he was nervous, but nonetheless you had a nice time talking to him and his family.

On the way back, azul brought his two most trusting servants and friends.

The leech twins

You have heard about them, their family name has quite a reputation. But you didn’t mind.

You introduced Azul to Riddle and Leona. The three of them are getting along! (Not really, but kinda!)

Well at least you don’t have to hear more nagging from the higher ups. (For now)

-

“Have you heard?”

Rumors are spreading like wildfire lately in the empress palace lately. Something about an unknown traveler being spotted near the Yuunkaedangon empire. Rumor goes that they aren’t from here. No identification, family, home. Some even say they aren’t from here. A different world maybe? Who knows.

-

You quietly work on the papers that you pushed aside for the past couple of days before atsushi took away your chocolate privileges. He’s a very scary man when he wants to be…

As you worked, a knock on the door stopped you from what you were doing.

“Come in”

A worried Atsushi walks in. Breathing heavily and trying to catch his breath.

“I-it’s doctor yujiro”

-

Heavy and fast footsteps are heard throughout the small clinic as you make your way through. Everyone quickly got out of your way and bowed as you didn’t pay any of them any attention.

“He’s in there” The doors to the room open and you are met with the horrible sight of doctor yujiro bedridden and sick.

“Doctor yujiro”

“Is that my little empress?” His small and weak voice pierces right through your ears.

“What happened?”

“Smallpox”

“Smallpox? How? Doctor yujiro is always clean and healthy, how can-“ Yujiro lightly laughs at your ramble.

“I’m as human as you are my dear”

“But you’ll be okay….right?” You ask, a worried expression starting to make its way on your face.

Both the doctor and Atsushi go silent

“You’ll be okay, right?” You say again, but a little louder this time.

“I’ve been sick for weeks”

“Weeks?! And no one has told me?!” You turn to atsushi with a hurt look on your face. Shocked and upset that he didn’t tell you.

“Atsushi did you know-“

“He didn’t” Doctor yujiro weakly says.

“He was as clueless as you were, the only reason why I have asked for you was because I’m dying” Your eyes widened.

“No that-“

“Please ... .I know I am and I can feel it as every day passes. All I want before I go is for you to take in my son….please” He pleads. Eyes going glossy at the thought of his son having no one to take care of him.

“Grim, please take care of him for me”

The yujiro family has been working for your family for centuries. You met doctor yujiro after catching a fever when you were just 9 years old. Your father, previous emperor, was distraught about the fact that you wouldn’t make it. You were sickly pale and weak, it wasn’t until your grandmother immediately told him to go to doctor yujiro to help you with the fever.

And it took weeks but you still healed. Yujiro has been your doctor ever since and you two have grown closer as the years go by and he sees you as a child of his own.

So seeing grim, his 6 year old son crying his little heart out in your arms at his father’s funeral really shot a thousand arrows to your heart.

“My papa! I want my papa!”

You gently pat his hair as he cried on the crook of your neck. Riddle, Leona, and azul stood behind you as they also paid their respects to Doctor yujiro.

You continued to let grim cry in your arms as you spoke soft comforting words in his ear. The way back to the imperial palace was quiet except for the soft snores of grim in your arms. Atsushi volunteered to hold him on the way back but with a quick shake of your head made him back up.

Upon arriving at the imperial palace, Atsushi carefully tried to pry off grim from your arms but at the feeling of him leaving your warmth, tears quickly formed as he started to cry again.

“No! No ! I-Im sleeping with sissy!” He cries out. One of the servants tried to carefully take him but as he continued to cry and not let you go, you dismissed them.

“Are you sure my empress?”

“Yes it’s fine, the boy will sleep in my chambers with me tonight” With one last look, you turn around and head to your chambers but not before saying goodnight to riddle, Leona and azul.

The three men can’t help but stare in worry. Ever since the way back to the palace, you’ve been spacing out and staring into space.

Now azul isn’t as used to you than the others, so when he noticed riddle and Leona talking amongst themselves about how tired and stress you look, it made him worry too.

You are a nice person

When he first heard he was being put up as a concubine, he was honestly horrified.

He was expecting a scary and rough looking person with a gross obsession with lust but was rather shocked when he saw you walk into his family home.

You were absolutely, breathtaking. Different from what he had imagined.

Maybe being a concubine won’t be as bad as he thought.

-

Taglist!

@gl00muraaii

@ghostlysyntaxed

@zoukaposts

@twistedcece

@kisses2kanao

@s7-evermore

@c0ralrubi

@owl778

@rubyninja1

@roseapov

@soft-blue-clouds

@coffeedragonhobbyist

@sherryclover

@stormynightstorytime

@rory1939

@kikiarara

@cecil-the-crybaby

@fscomet101

@0tomefreak

@bluewolfangel01

Sorry for the very late update! Been pretty busy but like I said I’ll be updating every Friday! (Try)

[xjcjuis]

COLOGNE

pairing: billie eilish x reader

synopsis: "you said she's scared of me? // maybe it's 'cause i'm wearing your cologne"

warnings: fluff, jealous!billie, some random girl named vanessa, terms of endearment teehee

wordcount: 1.1k

a/n: hi sorry i disappeared for two weeks 😢 got busy

"does this make my hips look too wide?" you ask, partly directed to yourself, partly to your girlfriend who was also in the room. you're checking yourself out in your bedroom's mirror, hands attempting to delicately smoothen out the creases in the dress's cloth.

"mm, no," billie hums, but one look in front of you tells you that she's not even paying attention.

"babe," you whine, "you're not even looking!" you twist a little to see the side view of your figure. "i think my chub's showing."

billie looks up from her phone to you, now the one checking you out with a not-so-subtle onceover before setting down the device and walking up to you.

she's clad in a black dress to match with yours, thin straps over her shoulders and the cloth itself pushing up what needs to be and accentuating what can be. you watch her come through the mirror, breath hitching when her arms smoothly wrap around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder as she takes you in almost lazily, hooded eyes gazing intensely enough that it gets you hot in an airconditioned room.

"so?" she murmurs, voice low. "nothing's wrong with you. you look so, so beautiful."

billie kisses your temple softly, letting her lips stay on your skin for a second longer than a peck. "my gorgeous girl. in fact, it's a privilege for the others to even see you in casual wear. in this?" her hands slide a little lower to rub circles on your hipbone. "i might as well keep you home and to my self, pretty baby."

"pervert." you scoff, spraying some of billie's cologne on your skin, acting annoyed but you were really feeling pretty pleased with yourself. her words definitely helped with your self-esteem, as you knew it would, and with your comment your girlfriend only laughs and lands another kiss on your cheek.

"you're perfect, my love. and so is this ass."

a playful smack, a threatened spray in the eyes from you, and she dodges and walks out the door.

"come out in a minute or i definitely will leave you at home."

"i hate you."

fast forward to the thing you were preparing for in the first place - an award show and, of course, what comes next.

after event parties were never your thing, even as a celebrity's significant other.

as a homebody you would much rather stay at home, watching tv or scrolling through your phone or perhaps reading a nice long book by the window wrapped up in your girlfriend's warm arms, but no.

instead you were here, taking up the role of billie's plus one to a post-award show celebration. it's not that you weren't happy about physically being there to support her, but being surrounded by people on another level of fame and luxury as you were was, in a sense, intimidating.

your girlfriend wasn't there to be your comfort all the time either; her friends and other singers who recognized her came over to talk. at some point the two of you had gotten separated, although you still had her in your line of sight from a distance.

"i just have to do this thing, okay baby? i'll be back."

so you stand near a wall with nothing but juice in hand, too nervous to let loose and get drunk with your safety person currently occupied. your hands were clasped together, small purse hanging from your fingers, dress starting to feel a little uncomfortable despite the seemingly endless compliments and kisses billie had thrown you for it a few hours before.

"what's a pretty girl like you doing alone?"

you jump a little at the unexpected voice. turning towards the sound, you lock eyes with a girl for a brief second before you avert your gaze, intimidated by her hooded gaze and pricey ensemble. she was pretty, yes, but she wasn't your girlfriend and so you weren't very interested in conversation.

but just to be polite, you indulge in one. "oh, i'm not alone. i'm just, um, waiting."

you shoot her a small smile, clutching your little handbag tighter and standing a little straighter.

her lips curl upward as she takes a couple steps closer, hand swiftly dropping her wine glass on a tray a waiter passing by was holding. "for? company? i'm here now. i'm vanessa."

she was a little cocky, but with a velvet voice like that, you soon fall into a comfortable discussion with her.

'how was your day's were exchanged, what do you do for work, childhood, family members - of course, not everything was spilled, but more than small talk.

the light chat turns to the subject of style and preferences, more specifically your dress, your hairstyle, your perfume.

vanessa leans too close for a whiff. not for you, she seems at a respectable enough distance from you, but definitely for billie who'd been watching from the moment she had approached you.

the singer's eyes narrow when vanessa's look the wrong way, the chatter of the personalities around her fading into the background when she gets too touchy with you, a huff of annoyance and perhaps jealousy when a random girl takes a breath of her girl's scent in.

and the fact that you didn't seem bothered by it? oh, she has got to put an end to this nonsense.

"hi, doll face." billie says intro your ear, voice an octave lower than how it had been mere seconds ago.

you feel relief flooding through your veins upon feeling familiar hands rest on you, oblivious to the staring contest billie had started with the woman in front of you long before she actually had her hands on you.

her grip on your hips tighten, more protective than usual. "sorry i took so long, i didn't mean to make you wait," she continues, pressing a kiss to your shoulder bone.

"i-" vanessa tries to speak, but billie cuts her off.

"you smell good, my love."

you twitch a little, feeling a slight tickle as your girlfriend's nose glides across your skin to plant another kiss on your jaw.

"it's your cologne, baby-" your words end abruptly as billie starts to kiss the sensitive skin of your neck, and your teeth trap your bottom lip in between them so as not to show any outward signs of your enjoyment.

vanessa, who'd grown uncomfortable at the obvious public display of affection, clears her throat at your apologetic glance. "billie, right? nice to finally meet you, i'm-"

"i don't care who you are," billie replies, blunt and straightforward. "i don't want you flirting with my girlfriend, and frankly i'm not very interested in getting to know you."

"billie!" you hiss, watching the woman walk away disgruntled. "don't be rude."

"i don't care," she repeats, hooking her fingers underneath your chin. "i don't like sharing what's mine."

and she kisses you on the mouth, fully, in the middle of a crowded room.

[theseinfernalangels]

Headcanon: Liam Loves to Touch

A/N: Not my usual story fics (I have so many WIPs cut me some slack), but it’s night time rn and I miss Liam. I would very much like a Liam Hug™️

I think that as a fandom, we’ve accepted that Liam would be quite the clingy boy

Not clingy as in weird and obsessive, but as in, “What do you mean we’re sitting next to each other and not touching?” He just Loves To Touch™️

So by default, he’s always got an arm around your shoulder or waist (and it feels GOOD because we know he’s got like…really nice arms…)

If you’re not comfortable with it, he’ll keep PDA to a minimum. In private, however…

“My love, I’m so sorry, but I’m legally required to hold you right now.”

PLAY WITH HIS HAIR. Oh my gosh, this boy is a puppy and you know damn well he’s going to flash that adorable grin at you when you run your fingers through his soft, sandy locks

Just imagine it: You have an exam, and he’s acting as your “stress relief” by laying his head in your lap while you read and reread your textbook.

You’re deep into a random passage when his fingers suddenly curl around the textbook and lower it away from your face. You look down and he’s frowning at you.

“Hey,” he says in a soft voice. “Look at me. You’re gonna do just fine. You’ve been reading the damn book for, like, two hours.” Then a cute little smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Now pay attention to me, please.”

It’s a mutual thing, too. We know he’s good with his hands (cough cough) because of his carving abilities, so if you’re ever upset or having anxiety, he’s plopping you on his lap, tucking your face into his neck, and just running his hands through your hair while he quietly talks about the most random things.

Liam’s gentle, wbk, but let’s not pretend that he’s not a cheeky bastard, too.

He never takes it too far, but he likes to toe the line sometimes.

Gently running his nails up your waist when he walks by, pulling you to the side by your hips, brushing his lips over the back of your neck, tapping out little “I love you’s” on your thigh in Morse Code.

He thinks the way you flush and glare at him is hilarious…But it’s less hilarious when you decide to do the same things to him.

Biting his shoulders in passing, running your nails across his abs, tracing the veins in his arms…Oh, baby is BLUSHING BLUSHING

And Deigh makes fun of him all the time for it.

“Perhaps if I knew that they were your weakness sooner, I’d use them as blackmail material.”

He complains about it all the time, but you know from how his gaze softens that he adores it, and you.

Liam just loves to touch and be touched ( — no, not like that). 

To him, it’s another way to protect you; he definitely loves to sleep on top of you with his head on your chest.

Receiving touch feels like a privilege to him, because he knows you’re not the most touchy-feely person and the fact that you’re touchy-feely with him makes him feel special and trusted.

Moral of the story? Let him cuddle you and give you that forehead kiss before he has to leave. You savor it every time and ache when his lips on your skin become a distant memory.

[rubikswriter]

Heavy is the crown - a Caitlyn Kiramman character analysis.

(Tumblr really messed the formatting up on this, and it’s like 15k so there’s no way I’m editing it again - check my Twitter RubiksGaming12 to read it in it’s correctly formatted form)

I’ll preface this by saying that I have no prior knowledge of LoL lore, but I’m a big fan of angsty, nuanced characters, and that’s why I want to talk about Caitlyn Kiramman.

I’m sure this has all been talked to death in the fandom, but from my brief time in it, I can see a lot of varying - although mostly negative - views on Caitlyn. Especially in season 2. Caitlyn, however, is a character who has swiftly made her way onto my favourites list and I feel the overwhelming need to wax poetically about her. 

I love a character that’s been consumed by darkness in some way and attempts to find their way back; from Darth Vader, to Xena, to Villanelle. I love all the shades of grey these characters bring; that not every act of good is seen in absolute glowing white and every negative in pure darkness. To me this teetering on the line in between is what makes for such rich characters to experience, explore, and devour.

I’ll start by saying that one of my favourite things about Arcane is how it doesn’t hold your hand the entire time. It’s not always direct, slammed in your face, explanation. It asks you to pay attention; to look, and listen, and think. It wants you to make the connections, to see the use of lighting, of revisiting environments, of the connection to the music/score. It wants you to question. 

Would we all have liked more episodes? Hell yes. However, I think the show does a wonderful job with Cait’s character arc within time/ep restraints it had. 

With that said, if you hold negative views on Caitlyn, my thoughts on this definitely won’t interest you in the slightest. You’ll keep your opinion, and I’ll keep mine. Art is subjective after all. But if you want to share thoughts and opinions and discuss openly, then please do. I love hearing and delving into all theories.

So with that said, let’s break my thoughts down —

Caitlyn is a Kiramman; a member of an influential house in Piltover. Her family's reputation precedes them, especially with her mother on the council. I think it’s safe to say that with such a privileged upbringing, when we meet Caitlyn in Season 1, it’s obvious that she has been sheltered from the depth and reality of the systemic divide between Piltover and Zaun, and just how oppressed the Zaunites really are. 

But there’s more to Caitlyn than her just being another mere, blindly accepting member of the Piltover elite. In fact the show hints that it's a direct result of her elite heritage, that Caitlyn grows into such an ambitious, confident, woman who has an unwavering, determined, drive to prove herself on her own merits rather than just on the coattails of her family name.

We see her kindness shown in her friendship with Jayce, a man older than her and sponsored by her parents, a person considered below her on the social ladder, and yet he’s her one true friend. She’s interested in his ideas, has concern and fondness for him. It presents Caitlyn as someone who goes against the grain of what’s expected of her, her curiosity of wanting to know and understand more than just the high society she’s part of is evident. It’s something that we see that sets her apart from the majority of her peers who are content with their lives and have no desire to question it.

I believe it’s her ambitious drive and her natural, kind curiosity that sets up the basis for her arc in Season 1. 

We see her commitment to her marksmanship in the flashback, she’s damn good at the skill she’s worked hard to hone, and yet we see Cait questioning her own merit when Grayson appears to let her win. Her first thought is ‘did my parents pay you to let me win?’ which is such a sombre reality. Has this happened before? It appears that even from a young age the weight of the name Kiramman is something that’s been weighing Cait down. A burden of expectation and equally a privileged advantage, even when it’s perhaps not deserved or wanted.

When Grayson says she let Cait win not because her parents paid her, but because she thought Cait deserved it, it validates Caitlyn in a way not many people do. Especially when Grayson is more skilled and less privileged than her. She tells Caitlyn that she doesn’t need to win, that protecting the people is the reward in itself. I think this interaction further unlocks and propels Caitlyn’s desire to earn respect rather than have it given to her because of her name.

So when Grayson asks her ‘what are you shooting for?’ I think Caitlyn is finally able to give herself the luxury and agency to decide to want more for herself than what is simply expected, and to go after that, no matter what people think. Her parents included.

That scene with Grayson, I felt, was vital in seeing, at least partly, why Caitlyn becomes an enforcer. It gives her a sense of purpose outside of the family ties. Something that’s just hers. Something she can achieve and be proud of, and something she can outwardly present amongst the community she lives in. She holds firm in her resolve and assurance that she’s made the right choice for herself even when her mother tries to keep her safe by limiting her work, and when her peers snigger mockingly at her that she should be at the cocktail party rather than guarding it.

After Jinx’s attack and her removal from the enforcers at her mother’s request, we see Caitlyn become even more solidified in her self belief. While she may be a little idealistic and naive to the wider workings of the world, Caitlyn proves she’s an intelligent, kind, empathetic person, and has a fire in her for seeking justice and protecting people. She genuinely seems to want to make a difference, and I think that’s why she fixates on the investigation of corruption in Piltover and how deeply connected that is to Zaun and its underworld. It’s another chance to prove herself to those that don’t truly see her as more than the Kiramman name.

This is obviously driven further when she meets Vi and has her released to help facilitate her investigation. Having Vi be her guide through the Undercity allows Cait to have her eyes opened to a different perspective than her own, and challenges Topside’s preconceptions about bottom. It’s seeing through Vi’s eyes that enlightens Cait to Zaun’s true struggles and drives her desire to want to help and advocate for Zaun further. While realising at the same time that the Piltover Caitlyn thinks she knows is equally corrupt in parts (Marcus’ betrayal highlighting this). 

It’s through Vi’s eyes, through her struggles, through their developing trust and connection that we the viewer can recognise that Caitlyn is meant to represent the moral compass of the show in S1 — She’s the one that gets us, the audience, to also question what Cait thinks she knows, versus the reality of what she’s now learnt (Silco, shimmer, Marcus, Jinx, Ekko and the firelights); that there is no good and bad, only shades of grey between the twin cities.

In understanding Caitlyn as the character we get introduced to in season 1, I think it’s really important to understand that it’s Caitlyn’s privilege that gives her the knowledge and position to try to drive a change forward. But it’s her character outside of her privilege; her kindness, her empathy, her risk taking and her willingness to challenge rules and ideals that makes her the right choice to help. Vi and Ekko aren’t trusting just any Piltie to help them, they’re trusting Caitlyn because of all that she exudes and stands for. It's unknown to Vi and Ekko at that time that Caitlyn is a Kiramman, or the weight that name holds. Caitlyn never divulges that about herself, instead she mentions Jayce, her friends being on the council. But we the audience know that it’s her family name that gives Caitlyn immediate access to her mother and the council where others - like Vi, Ekko, and the other Zaunites - would not have such a chance. 

We see, through her relationship with Vi, that Caitlyn doesn’t use her privilege to overshadow Vi and the Zaunties' struggles. She moves the pieces into place because she has the entitlement to do so. She lets Violet be the mouthpiece for herself and the Undercity’s struggles when addressing the council, showing that she sees Vi and the Zaunites as equals.

When Caitlyn’s mother is introduced to us, we understand that she’s not a big fan of Caitlyn essentially lowering the family name by becoming an enforcer, and that she purposely interfered in Caitlyn’s work to protect her; moving her to stand guard at her tent, and having Cait dismissed from the enforcers after the initial Jinx attack. However, Cassandra Kiramman clearly loves her daughter and after hearing how passionate she is, listening to Caitlyn outline the failings of the council she sits on, she schedules the councillors for Cait and Vi to talk with.

‘You’re a councillor’s daughter, your actions reflect on the entire body,’

‘You know what else reflects on the council? Its citizens living on the streets, being poisoned, having to choose between a kingpin who wants to exploit them and a government that doesn’t give a shit.’

We can see in this exchange just how much Caitlyn has grown from episode 1-8, and I could talk so much more about her growing relationship with Vi in season 1, but I think we all can agree that Vi grounds Caitlyn. She shows Caitlyn a world she hadn’t ever truly seen or understood. Vi challenges her in ways Caitlyn has never been challenged before, and she sees Caitlyn as she is; as simply Cait. Something that nobody else does. The fact that Caitlyn is a Kiramman is an afterthought, something Vi only learns later on when Caitlyn insists she can help with Zaun’s plight. 

Even when Caitlyn fails to achieve what they want from the council she remains determined to try again, but it’s Vi that walks away. It’s Vi that can only see how to do things one way and knows that she has to leave Caitlyn behind to do it. Vi, I feel, is essentially protecting Caitlyn from something she knows Caitlyn doesn’t fully understand and never can simply because of their separate birthrights. She will never really be able to understand that oppression, and Vi is too afraid/guilty to relinquish what little control she has left when it comes to Jinx.

Caitlyn acts in the council meeting according to the hierarchy she grew up in, something that Vi doesn’t have the luxury to indulge in. That’s why she walks away and goes to Jayce. Vi needs to take things into her own hands to try and save her sister and deal with Silco, she chooses the undercity way and leaves Caitlyn to mull over the topside approach. Vi’s own guilt gives her a heavy burden of responsibility that she can’t let go of.

We see after their separation that Caitlyn isn’t content with Topside’s action, or inaction, she’s frustrated with the lack of doing nothing but not doing enough. We see this when she’s in the shower thinking of Vi; her image represents what Caitlyn wants to fight for, what she can’t let go of now. A better life for them all. I truly believe that Caitlyn, with her dogged determination, would have tried again and again and again to help Vi with Jinx and Silco, and would have found a way to persuade the council to help the Undercity heal. It’s the first real indication we get that Vi has become one of Caitlyn’s biggest strengths, but will also become one of Caitlyn’s biggest weaknesses, as we see at the end of Season 1.

This all pieces together when Jinx foils Caitlyn’s plans to try and help and kidnaps her. Instead of Caitlyn working towards finding a balanced, diplomatic, solution that will benefit Piltover/Zaun and bridge the divide, we get Caitlyn receiving a nice dose of trauma; Jinx threatening her life and blowing up the council tower. Topped with the crushing burden of conflict and guilt; having the shot on Jinx but not being able to take it due to her loyalty and affection for Vi. 

It’s this event and every moment that happens during it that shapes the foundation of Caitlyn’s arc for season 2. 

——

We start season 2 with the consequences of the actions of season 1. Jinx is free and Caitlyn’s mother was killed along with some of the other councillors thanks to Jinx’s attack. This is already an intolerable pill for Caitlyn to swallow, knowing that not only did she have the shot on Jinx that could have prevented her mother’s death, but I’m sure Mel makes it known to her that she and the council were voting in favour of Zaun having independence. 

As such Season 2 is rich with character development for Caitlyn, and I think the best way I can share my thoughts on it is to break it down into her development journey per act.

Alongside looking at the events/effects of each act on Caitlyn’s character I want to focus on the three faces Cait claims to haunt her in S2E1; her mother (whose memory is manipulated by Ambessa), Jinx, and Vi. I believe that individually these three characters are the driving force behind Caitlyn’s descent to darkness and also her light back to the good woman we know Caitlyn Kiramman is at her core. 

Let’s start with Ambessa since I feel like her role is critical to Caitlyn’s moral downfall. However, in order to fully understand Caitlyn’s descent into darkness in season 2 I believe it’s vital to understand Ambessa, her motives, and her role in manipulating Caitlyn for her own gain.

So let’s jump back a second and look at Ambessa before we dissect season 2:

In season 1 Ambessa arrives in Piltover under the false pretense of visiting her estranged daughter Mel - who we all know is a wealthy and powerful

Councillor in the city - and confides in Mel about her brother, Kino’s death. It seems Ambessa feels responsible for her son's death, and that she’s certain those responsible for his death will continue to seek revenge upon the Medarda’s and Noxus. 

This brings us to the real reason for Ambessa’s visit. Having grown aware of Piltover’s progress with Hextech, Ambessa sees the opportunity to create and use Hextech weaponry to protect her family and thwart any threat to her people. Essentially, Ambessa begins her game of manipulation early in season 1 by hoping to convince Mel to engage in war with the Undercity using the weaponised Hextech to squash the conflict. Ambessa sees these two cities and the tensions between them as a testing ground for Hextech weapons, and a chance to grab power, which luckily Mel sees through and prevents.

With Mel not being so easily manipulated, aware of her mother’s warmongering ways, Ambessa quickly changes strategies and attempts to manoeuvre Hextech’s creator, Jayce, into weaponizing the technology. While Jayce refuses at first, Vi tempts him further, and together they take Hextech weapons into the Undercity with the goal of attacking Silco’s shimmer factories, only for Jayce to end up accidentally killing a child working in one. This immediately stops Jayce and ruins Ambessa’s second attempt at manipulation to mass weaponise Hextech. 

With promises of allowing Mel to return home to Noxus with her if Mel will simply allow the war between Piltover and Zaun to happen, Ambessa makes her final move of season 1. Luckily Mel stays true to herself, and right before Jinx blows up the council building, Mel sides with Jayce in offering Zaun independence, and encourages the other councillors to do the same. 

It’s as we head into season 2, in the wake of Jinx’s attack on Piltover, that we see Ambessa use the chaos to reestablish her footing and create another angle of manipulation to work with.

She first tries to speak through Councilor Salo, which Mel catches immediately, knowing that her mother is determined to gain power. Mel agrees to invade the Undercity to capture Jinx but without Hextech weapons, once again stopping Ambessa’s push to put Hextech into weaponised action. 

With Ambessa’s plot mapped, let’s move back to Season 2 and Caitlyn’s development:

Act 1:

Ep1 - 

It’s important to note that even at this point in her grief Caitlyn is still fighting for the people of Zaun and trying to prevent a war; she stands by Jinx being solely responsible for the attack and doesn’t want Piltover to flood the Undercity with enforcers. 

Because Ambessa failed to use Salo to get the councillors to invade Zaun with Hextech we see her next power play. She’s the one responsible for the memorial attack, she allows it to happen only to set herself up as the saviour with her Noxian troops. This act pushes her agenda forward, the next time the council meet they feel taken off guard, fearful and desperate to find a way to fight back and protect themselves. But before Ambessa can speak up, Caitlyn arrives with her strike team armed with Hextech weapons and does the task for her. 

Caitlyn’s goal is obviously to minimise damage, which is a stark contrast to what Ambessa wants overall, however it’s the perfect way for Ambessa to test her goal. I believe it’s at this point that we witness Ambessa noticing Caitlyn for the first time and understanding her influence. Something Ambessa definitely notes for later on. 

/

Next we have Caitlyn’s relationship with Vi to consider. 

It complicates Caitlyn’s grief. What should be a simple anger becomes a layered torment. How do you openly and intensely hate the sister of someone you care about? How does Caitlyn move past understanding Vi’s care for Jinx and refusal to give up on her at the end of season 1? Especially when that reality caused Caitlyn to hold back, go against her gut instinct, not shoot, and ultimately allow Jinx to kill her mother and further divide Piltover and Zaun.

The scene with her dad expands this conflict. Her guilt and self blame are evident when she admits she had the shot on Jinx. We see it manifesting in her refusal to willingly accept the Kiramman key. From someone so confident and self assured in season 1, we quickly see Caitlyn displaced and unsure. She’s gone from knowing the safety of her place in the Piltover hierarchy chain, to suddenly having to step up and fill that role her mother held. It’s a big responsibility and one Caitlyn doesn’t feel deserving or sure of. 

(Adding to this quickly that I love that it pans to Vi overhearing Caitlyn’s confessions, I think it perfectly foreshadows that Vi is going to have to witness someone else she loves descending down a path that’s a product of her actions. What a heavy cross to bear (maybe I’ll do a deep dive on Vi next)).

I also think it’s important that we talk about how Caitlyn is someone who keeps her emotions close to her chest, whereas Vi wears hers on her sleeve. Caitlyn’s grief is all over her face but it isn’t necessarily spoken aloud, she isn’t a blubbering mess. She only cries when she has the safety of Vi to be vulnerable with, and even then she only allows herself a brief moment. In true Caitlyn fashion, she then throws herself back into her way of dealing with her grief through action. I guess it makes sense that she feels inaction is what caused her pain, so of course going with the enforcers to find Jinx in the Undercity is a good idea. 

What perhaps isn’t her best idea is asking Vi to put on an enforcer badge and join her. I think Caitlyn is super clouded by her own grief here to even consider whether this is a good idea or not, especially given what she knows about Vi’s past. However, I would say that I truly believe that Caitlyn believes she’s asking Vi to join her for the right reasons. We witnessed Cait try and dissuade the council to invade Zaun already, so to think that Caitlyn believes that Vi’s presence on the enforcers side would help bridge a divide between Piltover and Zaun isn’t out of the realm of possibility. It makes sense for Cait to think that showing unity against Jinx would send a good message to the people of both cities. It also acts to ease Caitlyn’s own fears about Vi’s feelings towards her and Jinx. Where does Vi’s allegiance lie now? Can Vi see that Jinx is too far gone now and trust Cait to make the right decision? It’s a risk but a reassurance I think Cait desperately needs from Vi to anchor herself. 

Even though Vi initially rejects her offer to join the enforcers, after the memorial attack, when we see Caitlyn at her most unbalanced, Vi is there once again to provide comfort to Caitlyn at her most vulnerable. Vi understands what Caitlyn needs from her. I think at this point Vi is consumed by her own pain and guilt, and that while she clearly can’t mend Jinx’s heart, perhaps she can protect Cait’s. It’s why I believe Vi ultimately joins the strike team Caitlyn sets up. She feels a sense of responsibility to put things right too. It’s a tentative balance between the two of them; it’s the promise of action without overzealous violence hinged on an achievable goal of apprehending Jinx.

/

We see Caitlyn, for the most part, admirably hiding her pain, grief, and self blame for her mother’s death (as Mel tells Jayce) but we also see glimpses of her strong facade cracking with anger at Jinx. 

Her anguish and guilt begin to manifest into hatred, and we see this evidently in Caitlyn’s visualisation of taking the shot at Jinx. This externalised hatred of Jinx is understandable in the wake of her mother’s death, and has left Caitlyn’s family with a gaping hole that she herself now has to quickly navigate to fill. 

While Jinx isn’t part of the memorial attack it triggers a reaction in Caitlyn; her pain and anger breaking free and making her lash out. We see her in her grief going from defending Zaun; ‘there’s good people down there’ to ‘they’re animals’. While that thought doesn’t grow further yet (thanks to Vi’s grounding presence) it does seed and begin to take root inside Caitlyn, waiting to blossom later in the season.

/

Ep 2 & 3:

Episodes 2 & 3 take a closer look at Caitlyn’s invasion of the Undercity with her strike team. So I’m going to combine my thoughts for them. 

We see at the end of episode 1 that Caitlyn discovers the creation of the ventilation system the Kiramman’s created to provide clean air to the Undercity. Now this next part seems to be where I witness a lot of hatred and negativity of Caitlyn’s character journey this season coming from.

While I completely agree that her use of the gas in the Undercity is a bold and controversial choice, I think there’s a misunderstanding of how Caitlyn was using the gas. I get the sense that people think she was just gassing the whole of the Undercity when in reality she states what she plans to do with the gas in her mission outline; locate Jinx, dismantle shimmer and neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco.

Remember Vi is part of this strike team, I doubt she’s letting Caitlyn murderously gas her people. Instead, she’s probably guided Caitlyn into where the shimmer factories and the gangs are located. It’s these areas that the gas is being used. Does this justify her use of the gas? I’m not sure. I think it’s a moral grey area. Does violence of any kind, from any side, justify a violent retaliation? I think this is sadly a case of human nature. It shows the cycle of hatred, of violence being used to justify peace. It’s a tale as old as time; everybody is the bad guy in somebody else’s story. It’s a cycle that keeps repeating until somebody breaks it.

And that’s the theme the show wants to explore in season 2. Caitlyn’s actions are unsettling. Rightfully so. It’s a breakdown of what happens to people’s morals when they’re challenged by outside forces they can’t control. I think Arcane takes these issues and presents them cleverly throughout the show, and to write a character off as simply bad or good is a disservice to the depth they’ve been given.

The show forces the audience to step into each characters shoes and ask:

‘how far are you willing to go for the people you love?’

‘How far is too far?’

‘How do you know when you’re crossed that line and can you stop yourself going further?’

‘Can you come back from that?’ 

‘What can you do to break the cycle?’

We see these questions starting to get asked as we move into the tail end of Act 1.

The montage at the start of episode 3 is super heavy with explanations of what exactly the strike team does in Zaun. Sadly, I do think if you’re casually watching some of the depth of this montage is lost which I’m assuming is a time restraint/stylistic choice that had to be made for S2.

That said, let’s look at it carefully:

I feel like the bright colours are really menacing here, especially when you see Caitlyn and co fully suited up with the green gas behind them. It makes the image of the gangs running away look small and weak in comparison. When in reality we know these guys have helped Silco flood the lanes with Shimmer and are definitely part of the violence in the Undercity. It then flickers through scenes of the team fighting against the gangs, of them achieving their objective to dismantle shimmer and neutralise anyone still loyal to Silco. But it also makes a point to show Caitlyn apprehending these criminals in a non-lethal way; it seems she fires the same net-type bullets the enforcers fired at Vi and Powder way back in the opening episodes as they escaped from Jayce’s apartment. Most importantly it shows them holding Jinx’s wanted poster, inquiring for her whereabouts. This, we know, is the driving force behind all of Cait’s actions. A venture that is clearly proving fruitless so far. It’s clear that Jinx’s continued allusion only heightens Caitlyn’s grief and anger. 

While searching the Undercity for Jinx, we see Caitlyn, Vi and the others looking for Jinx in the old arcade where Vi and Jinx played as children. The use of the gas and seeing Vi playing enforcer enrages Jinx and she taunts Caitlyn by switching on the moving targets and momentarily appearing behind one before disappearing once more. While Maddie confirms the place is all clear, Caitlyn appears to begin to hyperventilate, her frustration with not apprehending Jinx clearly agitating her and teetering her closer and closer to the edge of her grief and control. She shoots where she was certain she saw Jinx standing, showing her ability to follow through with her shot now, and once more it’s Vi that has to approach her and ground her, bringing Caitlyn back from the Jinx demon plaguing her.

I want to make a point of noting that Vi is involved in the entirety of the strike team invasion into Zaun. This doesn’t make the use of the gas a right, but it does draw a line under what even Vi thinks is acceptable for Silco’s goons to suffer in their quest to get Jinx. When Jinx confronts Vi about this later, Vi even says they were using the gas to minimise damage (note - Cait hasn’t lost all morals) - ‘We used the grey to clear the streets. To keep people safe.’

We see Jinx using one of the Chembarons’s minions to lure Caitlyn and Vi further down into the pipeworks. While questioning the guy, Caitlyn continues off the back of her agitation from ep2, her frustration at not having found Jinx already making her snappy and twitchy. When Caitlyn demands an answer on how Heenot got there, she looks far too trigger happy, and Vi immediately notices the unsettled shift in Caitlyn, moving to kneel in front of Heenot. This serves to put her in Cait’s eyeline in an attempt to ground her once more. Vi gets the answer Caitlyn was seeking without violence but instead of calming Caitlyn, the knowledge that Jinx is close by only seems to amplify Cait’s vehement determination for vengeance.

Vi can see Caitlyn is becoming increasingly consumed by her hatred and asks to speak to her for a moment and then— well, let’s go ahead and talk about the kiss. That first kiss… 

I personally think that Vi’s voice actor Hailee Steinfeld and writer Amanda Overton give voice to my feelings on this far more coherently than I ever could: 

‘The dialogue before [the kiss] says it all. Vi's in a place where she's lost everything. She's lost anything and everything she's ever felt seen by or close to," Steinfeld continued. "The only way she has any of it left is through Caitlyn, and she's now asking a lot of her, asking her not to change given what she's now going through. I think it unlocks a newfound vulnerability.’

While Amanda adds to this:

“To me, that kiss, because it comes so early in their arc, was always meant to be the right thing for the wrong reasons. You want to feel really good because they’re finally kissing, but the promise that Vi asks her in her desperation is an impossible ask. Caitlyn responds in a way where she wants this to be true, Vi wants this to be true. Both of them want this to be true, so kissing was their way of covering that up.”

I think the kiss acts as a balm to both of their insecurities and guilt about their roles in the losses they’ve faced and may face again. Do either of them believe the promise, I’m not convinced, but it’s an important moment for Caitlyn to feel reassured by Vi’s loyalty. It feels like Vi has her back as they now approach Jinx, and that if Caitlyn can make the shot, she has Vi’s blessing to do so. Vi is her strength and Caitlyn needs that before she comes face to face with Jinx once again.

The only problem with the kiss and the faux promise is that it’s fine in theory but not in practice. I think Vi was trying to convince herself she could let Jinx go for Cait’s sake, but once she sees her, especially with Isha, Vi can’t commit to it. 

This is the driving wedge between her and Caitlyn, because that kiss promise they just made, well in Caitlyn’s eyes, Vi didn’t keep it. It feels like betrayal. Vi has prevented her from taking the shot against Jinx twice now. 

This is the pivotal moment that ultimately leads to Caitlyn being unable to untangle Vi from Jinx in her mind. Her feelings are too clouded by her grief, and her anger finally shifts from Jinx to Vi. Vi, who in Cait’s eyes, let her down. It’s heartbreaking but in the next moment Vi pays the price for Caitlyn’s transferred anger by taking Caitlyn’s rifle to her gut. And just like that, Caitlyn breaks her promise too. 

Has she really changed or is Caitlyn merely lost in her own self hatred, grief, insecurity and guilt? Whatever the answer is, without Vi, Caitlyn no longer has an anchor to stop herself spiralling completely. It leaves her vulnerable and open to manipulation as we see.

/

We see Ambessa growing impatient after Amara attacks her and reveals the Black Rose are aware that Ambessa isn’t relenting in their feud, instead she’s in Piltover looking for an advantage by gaining access to Hextech weapons. As a result Ambessa returns to manipulate Salo, wanting to use the councillor to once again to push her agenda and gain more control. But Salo is equally frustrated by his use in Ambessa’s plan. It’s during Ambessa’s exchange with Salo that Caitlyn comes up again. 

We know Ambessa has taken note of Caitlyn when she stormed the council with her strike team idea and thwarted her attempt to use Salo to urge the council into a full invasion of Zaun, but in this next exchange with Salo we see Ambessa once again  grasping exactly why Caitlyn could be the key to her power play.

‘It’s enough work propping you up without you dulling what few wits are left rattling around in there.’

‘If you propped as well as you prod, maybe I’d have better uses for my time than sitting around waiting for an update on Princess Kiramman’s underground escapades. She’s gotten no closer to Jinx. But that doesn’t seem to steal the stars from anyone’s eyes.’

‘Perhaps if you hadn’t let the child overpower you in your own chamber.’

‘It’s not the girl. It’s the name. It bewitches people.’

Ambessa, at this point, still intends to use Salo as her puppet by gathering the elite of Piltover, so she can essentially speak through Salo, and urge for further action to be taken against Zaun. However, the knowledge she’s gained about Caitlyn from Salo comes in very useful when Ambessa actually makes her play for power at the end of episode 3. 

Mel even notes how clever and strategic Ambessa is when talking with Lest, ‘everything with my mother is a calculated risk’ showing that Ambessa will do whatever is necessary to achieve what she wants. This becomes even easier for Ambessa to do with Mel and Jayce out of the picture, leaving Piltover wide open to her manipulation.

Ambessa takes advantage of the Jinx/Zaunite attacks on Piltover and Amara’s disappearance (or shall I say, her own cover up) to create a new narrative. She starts by using Salo as her mouthpiece, here he lays the foundation that Ambessa is a trusted and worthy ally for Piltover. Whose experience Piltover should take advantage of. Ambessa continues this narrative, painting herself as a kind ally who was simply going to help Amara rebuild Piltover before the Zaunties attacked again. 

Ambessa uses the continued and growing fear of the Piltover elite to encourage the conflict - ‘wrath must be met with wrath.’ - setting up the idea of martial law as a necessary move to protect the people and return Piltover to safety once more. We see Salo thinking he’s finally going to be rewarded for being Ambessa’s puppet, only for Ambessa to manoeuvre past him. She takes the knowledge he’s given her about Caitlyn Kiramman and the worth of her name and chooses her to command instead.

Ambessa knows of Caitlyn’s grief and her unwavering desire to bring Jinx to justice in vengeance for her mother’s death, and now Ambessa can take Caitlyn Kiramman and twist her focus to encompass more. Caitlyn Kiramman can be the pawn Ambessa uses to start the conflict between Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn Kiramman will get the elite to listen. Caitlyn Kiramman will use Hextech weaponry to do so, and in doing so, Caitlyn Kiramman will give Ambessa the power she needs to confront the Black Rose.

At first Caitlyn is shocked by Ambessa’s decision to choose her for command but once Ambessa and the Noxian’s begin their chest salute, Caitlyn becomes overwhelmed with the pressure of the Kiramman name. She told her dad she didn’t feel worthy or ready, and here is Ambessa, someone the Piltover elite now trust, someone with experience, who is saying she believes Caitlyn is the right person to protect the people. It forces Caitlyn to step up and fill that hole her mother left; to represent Piltover as a Kiramman. Ambessa achieves this cleverly by taking advantage of Caitlyn at her lowest. Ambessa plays into the combination of Caitlyn’s own guilt, grief and self loathing and peer pressure, and buckles Caitlyn to her will, molding her into a Commander who will carry out unspeakable things to grasp power.

Let’s talk about the persuasion of the peer pressure - it’s peer pressure that comes not only from the Noxian army but also from Caitlyn’s own enforcers - Maddie being the one to chest salute from Piltover’s side first. It’s not surprising given we know she’s a spy - but before this knowledge is gained Maddie is seen as a good hearted, kind enforcer wanting to do the right thing. Without Vi there to question and anchor Caitlyn, Maddie is a familiar and reassuring face Cait can turn to. So when Maddie joins the Noxians supporting Caitlyn for commander, so too does everybody else. Now it’s Piltover looking at Caitlyn to make this right.

What do you do when someone you think you trust encourages you to step up? When everyone who relies on the Kiramman name wants to believe in you? It feels like a task Caitlyn cannot fail in… not like she failed her mother. 

Ambessa, seeing Caitlyn beginning to cave to the responsibility, uses the rawness of Caitlyn’s grief to manipulate her again, just as Caitlyn might possibly be starting to question it all. Before the doubts can fully form in her head, Ambessa is there, oinking her poison into Caitlyn’s ear - ‘your mother will have justice. I swear it’. 

There’s that question for Caitlyn and the audience again - how far are you willing to go for those you love?

It’s Ambessa’s manipulation at its finest, a final, powerful shove in the direction Ambessa wants, and Caitlyn, in her broken state, falls for it.

It’s these events of the entirety of Act 1 that I believe sways Cait into taking the position of commander. By giving Caitlyn the power of command over the enforcers and her Noxian army, Ambessa enables Caitlyn to descend into an even darker spiral of moral ambiguity.

/

Act 2 -

Ep 4 - 

In the opening montage we see Caitlyn’s martial law in effect. Under her visage, the enforcers and Noxians flood the Undercity, hunting Jinx, and arresting those they see as a threat. We can all agree here that Caitlyn’s morals have tumbled; she allows a (necessary - Cait’s opinion, not mine) increased amount of violence in order to maintain control, and this is obviously met with resistance from the Zaunties. It’s the cycle of violence churning, and Caitlyn, under Ambessa’s guidance allows it to happen fuelled by her hyper-fixation on capturing Jinx.

I’d like to point out that the use of the Jinx wanted posters throughout this episode is huge. For Caitlyn and Piltover, Jinx is justification for what they’re doing. And for Zaun, Jinx becomes the one thing they can all start to unite behind despite their differences; in the most ironic turn around, Jinx becomes a symbol of hope and rebellion for Zaun against their oppressors.

Despite Caitlyn being in command of the martial law taking place, I think the scene with Maddie highlights that she hasn’t disowned her morals entirely, they haven’t changed, they’ve just become clouded by her grief and Ambessa’s manipulating encouragement. We get a hint of this as it appears that Caitlyn isn’t sleeping well, the tensions between the two cities clearly playing heavily on her mind. We see further hints of this when Caitlyn confesses to Maddie that she didn’t think the invasion would go on so long. 

‘I never expected this to go on so long. I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Just… it wasn’t this.’- this shows that Caitlyn didn’t know what exactly she was taking on when she took command. How could she? Before any of this happened she was an enforcer with restricted responsibility thanks to the protection of her mother, and now she’s not only in charge of her house and its legacy, but she’s taken control of Piltover’s safety. It’s a big burden to bear and it’s clear the direction she’s taken has left her uncertain about her choices. 

Maddie in return seems to act as both the angel and devil on Cait’s shoulders, in one breath she’s endorsing the Noxian’s increasing violence by reassuring Cait that it’s for Piltover’s safety, and the next she’s telling Caitlyn she could withdraw from the Undercity. Without Vi there now to ground Caitlyn in the harsh realities of her choices, Maddie’s angel/devil act further serves as part of Ambessa’s manipulation, isolating Caitlyn in Ambessa’s ideals alone, and keeps Caitlyn spiraling even when her morals begin to creep back in and make her conviction wobble slightly. 

When Maddie teasingly calls Caitlyn ‘Ambessa’ it snaps Caitlyn out of her disillusionment, and keeps her focused on her unfulfilled goal of getting Jinx, citing that Ambessa’s methods do work. She’s delivering what she promised Piltover and Caitlyn she would deliver, and all Caitlyn has to do is stay on the path Ambessa has set out before her.

Maddie also uses this opportunity to try and make Caitlyn feel in control. While Caitlyn’s doubts about the marital law materialise, Maddie forces Caitlyn to look at herself in the mirror and reminds her that Caitlyn is the leader they follow. It catapults Caitlyn back to the weight of responsibility she feels in the wake of losing her mother. Piltover chose her because she’s a Kiramman and Caitlyn cannot let them down, she has a hole to fill. This pushes her to ignore any niggling doubts and press forward with her efforts to secure Jinx.

Another scene where we can see that Caitlyn isn’t completely lost in her darkness is during her exchange with Ambessa. Ambessa rightfully notes that Jinx’s return will further ignite Zaun’s resistance to the martial law, but that it also finally gives them a lead on Jinx. When Caitlyn doesn’t seem elated at the news, Ambessa questions why Caitlyn isn’t more encouraged.

It’s here that Caitlyn’s core morals and doubts of Ambessa begin to shine through again. Caitlyn questions why Ambessa has urged the Noxians to become more violent, and Ambessa is clear in her response; someone in Zaun knows where Jinx is and she will use whatever force is necessary to get the answer.

Caitlyn is relentless though, and her core morals once again challenge Ambessa’s approach - ‘arrests require cause’ - showing that Caitlyn is still trying to stay within a somewhat structured justice system. She might be ruthless and unyielding in her quest for Jinx but she’s not trying to be unnecessarily cruel. 

Ambessa is always one step ahead though and we see her try to pacify Caitlyn’s doubts by reminding her of her duty to Piltover - ‘what greater cause is there than returning peace to this city?’

But Caitlyn isn’t entirely pacified by Ambessa’s remarks and we see her challenge her back with an important question; ‘why is peace always the justification for violence?’ 

This is a question not only for Ambessa and Caitlyn but also the audience. It asks the audience to think about this statement in regards to the whole show; to every character. How far is too far? When do you stop yourself from becoming something other than yourself in the name of protecting/saving those you love?

Ambessa responds by saying she understands how tiring vengeance can be, but she knows Caitlyn won’t be able to rest while she knows Jinx is out there. I believe this is one of the only honest moments Ambessa gives us. We know she too cannot rest while the Black Rose is out there threatening her family, it’s what drives her to achieve power and will keep driving her no matter the cost. But despite this brief moment of honesty, as per her character, Ambessa seizes the moment to manipulate Caitlyn again by questioning her conviction - ‘maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive and trust in tomorrow.’ 

By leaving the choice in Caitlyn’s hands Ambessa triggers Caitlyn to remember what her inaction caused her before; her mother’s death. It’s why we next see a guilt ridden Caitlyn at her mother’s statue and why, I believe, Cait can’t escape the darkness still clutching at her ankles yet. Having fallen victim to Ambessa manipulation once again we see her allowing the Noxian soldiers to carry out more violence and mass arresting of the Zaunties.

Last thought for episode 4 - Caitlyn’s face overlapping with Jinx’s wanted poster shows the monsters they’ve both become as a result of their traumas. Jinx is a product of her abandonment that festered (under Silco) into a chaotic resentment and anger towards Vi that fundamentally changed who she was/is. The same can be said for Caitlyn in Act 1-2. As a result of Jinx killing her mother, Caitlyn becomes a product of her trauma; her grief and guilt twist her empathy and understanding into that of unbridled anger (fuelled by Ambessa). Now Cait is left desperately seeking justice to soothe her wounds, and it causes her to commit horrible acts in her quest.

Even when Caitlyn does make attempts to remind herself of her true morals, she’s met with Jinx’s taunts, Vi’s betrayal (in her eyes) and Ambessa’s manipulation, just as Jinx always had Silco whispering in her ear.

It’s a cycle of anger and self destruction that Caitlyn and Jinx cannot break… not yet anyway.

/

Ep 5 - 

We begin this episode with Caitlyn arriving at Stillwater in the wake of Warwick’s attack. She has to pass through the blood and bodies of her comrades and see first hand the destruction that’s taken place. While she and Ambessa question Singed over the attack, we see just how fractured Caitlyn’s mind is becoming the longer Jinx evades her. It seems here, that Caitlyn thought her dismantling of shimmer earlier on would slow/stop Zaun from producing chemically advanced weapons created from experiments. But the Warwick attack proves her wrong. Singed has created something far worse, and Caitlyn’s immediate response is to discover how it’s connected to Jinx. 

It’s quite an ironic scene because Singed is almost mocking Caitlyn for being so single-minded. Zaun is more than just Jinx - something Caitlyn used to be able to comprehend before her grief - and he can see that Caitlyn is blinded to that, blaming her impatience and youth. 

We also get to see here how Caitlyn has made use of Stillwater for those that she’s arrested during the period of martial law - ‘there are cells buried deep within this prison so devoid of light and fresh air and all basic human considerations that up till now, I have forbidden their use.’

Has Caitlyn wrongly arrested Zaunties? I have no doubt that she has. But has she tried not to go so far into the darkness that she forgets all her morals and becomes a complete monster? I think so. She remembers the torment and suffering Vi suffered in Stillwater (even when they’re apart Vi is the grounding force that tries to creep in and pull Caitlyn back from the worst of herself). I don’t think Caitlyn is cruel by nature. She does have a good heart. It's just buried so deep beneath her guilt and grief that she’s committed acts she never thought she would, and she can’t seem to stop committing them while she feels Jinx is still a threat to Piltover. 

The last we see of Caitlyn in that scene she threatens Signed with spending the rest of his days in Stillwater. A promise she will keep if he doesn’t cooperate to help them destroy the beast.

When we next see Singed however, he’s with Ambessa. Ambessa who has quickly and strategically concluded that if Hextech is unreachable due to Jayce’s absence, the beast that Signed has created is the next best weapon she could have in her arsenal. Warwick might in fact be more powerful. Here Ambessa cuts a deal with Singed; his loyalty and the beast for her cause, in exchange for his freedom and allowance to keep experimenting. It’s clearly not something Ambessa informs Caitlyn of, who I’m assuming she keeps in the dark. Ambessa allows Caitlyn to keep believing that Singed is only being freed so that they can find the beast and destroy it before it attacks Piltover. 

We get to see in this episode that the doubts we see Caitlyn beginning to have about Ambessa and the disillusionment we see Caitlyn facing about her role in the invasion of Zaun continue to gnaw at her, especially after Singed’s poignant remark that ‘no one in power is innocent.’  I think this is a statement that makes Caitlyn pause and look at herself. If Signed isn’t innocent for his creation, is she innocent for the violence she’s allowed?

When we next see Ambessa, Signed and Caitlyn share a scene together, it’s with Signed conducting an experiment that will hopefully allow them to locate the beast.

Caitlyn, who looks less than thrilled with the arrangement of his freedom, makes it known that she understood Signed’s barbed statement last time, and as a result she’s used her position as a Kiramman to look into him to discover how deep his crimes go. It also highlights that she distrusts the reasoning Ambessa has given her for Signed’s release. We know after all that during the previous episode Ambessa made it clear she couldn’t forgive and forget. That she would always fight and do whatever was necessary to win with no regrets.

What Caitlyn has discovered is that the Piltover academy once had a revered alchemist who was banished as a result of his work. The results of which were never recorded. We know from S1 that Jayce’s creation of Hextech was considered so dangerous that it almost got him banished until he stabilised it. But what does the Undercity have that’s equally as dangerous as Hextech and yet entirely unstable and uncontrollable; shimmer. 

Caitlyn’s headstrong intellect makes a delightful return here when we see her work out that Singed was the banished alchemist Dr Reveck. She recoils in disgust at his creation of shimmer, which has always been a threat, not only to Piltover, but to Zaun. The damage of which Caitlyn saw firsthand in season 1 when she was in Zaun with Vi.

She calls Signed a monster and demands to know why he created shimmer and why he continues to experiment so dangerously that he creates these violent abominations.

For Singed the answer is easy - ‘Why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? For love.’

At the sight of Signed’s daughter, kept alive by these unthinkable, grotesque experiments, Caitlyn is then forced to face an ugly truth, something which she and Singed both share. They have both committed horrible deeds to alleviate the harrowing pain of loss that only comes from losing someone you love. 

It holds a mirror up to Caitlyn and her actions in such a raw way that I don’t think any other moment has done yet. Is this the wake up call Caitlyn needs to finally break the chains of Ambessa’s manipulation and away from the darkness pulling her further and further away from her true self?

I guess we’ll see.

——

Ep 6 -

While the previous episode gives us our first proper glimmer of hope that Caitlyn is slowly waking up from her darkness and may start breaking away from Ambessa soon, this episode gives us the culmination of events that actually drive Cait to that very point of disentangling herself from Ambessa’s web of manipulation. 

But let’s rewind a second to see how exactly Caitlyn gets there.

Episode 6 starts off with a very clever and insightful fight sequence. Here we see Ambessa sparring with Caitlyn and training her in the Noxian ways. 

Here are the key principles Ambessa teaches Caitlyn:

‘Noxus prizes strength above all else, defining it by three core principles. Vision. The top of the triangle, charting a course and having the wisdom to navigate it. This form is your base, child. Your eyes see what others don't. Might. Bending your environment to your will. Your speed is improving. But eventually you need force.’

‘Too much force exposes you to risk.’

‘Indeed. The last is guile. Phantoms. Tricksters. Mages. Absent honour. Absent accountability. Remember this, Caitlyn. Tunnels in your eyes. Lava in your veins. Shadows in your heart. This is the truth of combat.’

But oh no, that’s not all.  Ambessa enlightens Caitlyn to her final, most important lesson:

‘I’ve discovered a fourth principle. One that heightens all others. Sacrifice. The temper born of suffering. We understand it as others cannot. We are kin.’

Now, this may just seem like Ambessa being Ambessa but it provides Caitlyn with two things:

 1) her combat skill set has definitely approved under Ambessa and continues to do so 

 2) Caitlyn has the inner-knowledge of how Ambessa’s mind works. 

This becomes vital later on in the remaining episodes. 

Some people might be confused by Caitlyn’s participation here given that she was starting to doubt Ambessa in the previous episode. However, the beast is still at large and a threat to both Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn needs to aid Ambessa in putting him down.

Singed leads Ambessa, Caitlyn and the Noxian army through Zaun to the commune Viktor has established. Here is where Signed has tracked his beast. While Ambessa seems hell bent on attacking the commune without a second thought in order to capture the beast, we see Caitlyn looking unsure. Her suspicions that Ambessa is up to something heighten when she allows Singed to enter the commune to talk to Viktor.

Up until this point Caitlyn believes their goal is to eliminate the beast since it’s such a threat to Piltover and Zaun, but when she witnesses Ambessa and Signed plotting together, I believe she starts questioning their true intent regarding the beast.

The next time we see Caitlyn she appears to be creeping around the outskirts of her and Ambessa’s makeshift camp. Why would she be doing that if she wasn’t doubting Ambessa and Singed? Caitlyn isn’t stupid, she knows Ambessa is highly driven by power, but power at the expense of a peaceful commune? I’m not sure even Caitlyn is willing to cross that line. Her morals have gotten lost but they haven’t gone completely. Caitlyn has always tried to hold onto them. We see that here again. These morals come rushing back when Caitlyn’s natural detective skills lead her to piece together that Ambessa and Signed are planning a way to capture the beast, not destroy it. 

This to me is Caitlyn’s turning point, as she realises that Ambessa and Signed with the beast at their disposal will be a much bigger threat to Piltover and Zaun than Jinx ever could have been. 

Caitlyn has already reached this conclusion before she spots someone creeping about and puts their ass on the ground. Before she realises it’s Vi creeping around. 

The fact that it is Vi following Singed, and the fact that Vi is at the commune at all gives Caitlyn even greater reason to question Ambessa. These two may not have spoken in months but they see each other. They always have. 

When Caitlyn says ‘you can’t be here’ it’s not because she doesn’t want to see Vi, or because she’s dismissing her, but because she knows Ambessa is dangerous. Because despite everything that’s happened Caitlyn wants to protect Vi. Plus, Caitlyn knows that Vi being there is a weakness for her, she won’t be able to do what she needs to do to stop Ambessa if she’s worrying about Vi in the crossfire.

It’s Vi, however, questioning Caitlyn in return that falters Caitlyn’s cold focus. Why is Caitlyn there on the job? And is she still acting like an unhinged mongoose? 

Caitlyn mimics the insult of ‘mongoose’ but I think it’s the word ‘unhinged’ that cracks her steely veneer. Her grief and guilt did make her unhinged. The last time they were together she hit Vi in the stomach with her rifle in the wake of what she perceived as Vi’s betrayal of her. In the months since I’m sure that act has haunted Caitlyn. Vi disappeared from her life without another word and it’s because of Caitlyn’s actions. 

(Was Maddie the perfect distraction to the heartbreak she caused herself? I think so. Maddie allowed Caitlyn not to think about Vi, and Caitlyn needed that in order to reassure herself that her actions were necessary and justified. A perfect example of ‘the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves’).

Without Vi around, Caitlyn was able to really access those darker parts of herself, and while Caitlyn felt like she needed to do that in order to keep herself focused on Jinx, we can see the cost of it. We see it in Caitlyn’s uncertainty in her actions, in her doubts of Ambessa, in the threat of the beast, and in Vi’s appearance. 

When Vi pushes Caitlyn off her in response, Caitlyn moves back limply, a little bit of the fight knocked out of her. Did Vi’s insult hold a mirror up to Caitlyn? I think so. It’s an uncomfortable pill to swallow, and we see that manifest in the way Caitlyn shifts her focus onto Vi’s hair.  

‘Your hair. You look like an angry oil slick.’

‘Don’t sugarcoat it, cupcake.’

Vi doesn’t trade insults with Caitlyn. She doesn’t berate her further than getting Caitlyn to back off so she can sit up. Instead she takes Caitlyn’s comment and gives Caitlyn warmth in return. The use of the ‘cupcake’ nickname is familiar, affectionate. In that single moment it breaks the tension between them. Is there anger between them? Yes. Unresolved issues? Yes. But there’s also an innate trust. So when Vi asks what Caitlyn is doing at the commune, Caitlyn tells the truth. And when Caitlyn asks Vi why she’s there in return, Vi tells the truth.

‘We tracked some sort of new chemweapon down here. A bloodthirsty, murderous, beast. What are you doing here?’

‘Trying to save… my dad.’

We don’t see Vi reveal to Caitlyn the true extent of what happened to Vander, and Vi purposely omits Jinx’s involvement, but what she tells Caitlyn is enough for Caitlyn to make her decision to betray Ambessa. 

We’ve seen time and time again that Vi fights because she’s always had to, but Caitlyn fights because she wants to. It’s what made Vi trust Caitlyn in the first place. And although she knows Caitlyn still hates/resents Jinx, she trusts Caitlyn enough in that moment to fight for what’s right like she always has before. Vi completely kills Caitlyn’s idea that Warwick is just a beast. The second Vi confides in her that this beast is actually Vander, her dad, Caitlyn starts seeing him as human. And not just any human; a human hugely important to Vi. Those doubts Caitlyn had about Ambessa and Singed? They’re cemented here. She trusts Vi and believes Vi, and that headstrong Caitlyn from S1 who wants to do the right thing and protect the people she loves? She shows up for Vi now.

Grayson once asked Caitlyn what she was shooting for, and we see the answer here clearly; Caitlyn will shoot to protect those she loves. Vi needs her help and her protection and Caitlyn is going to do just that because despite everything that's happened to them and between them, Caitlyn loves Vi. It’s that simple.

They’ve always worked better together, and we see that here. Their balance slowly returns as they plot to infiltrate Ambessa’s camp with Vi as Caitlyn’s prisoner. It creates a perfect distraction and takes Ambessa out of play, while Caitlyn stops Singed and saves Vander. If anybody could bring Caitlyn back out of her darkness and ground her, redirect her focus, and free her from Ambessa’s manipulation, it’s Vi.

The following scene between Ambessa, Vi and Caitlyn is amazing at showing just how much trust and understanding is still between Cait and Vi despite their bond not being fully healed. Caitlyn’s (fake) delivery of Vi into Ambessa’s hands cements Caitlyn as a worthy ally in Ambessa’s eyes. Remember, Ambessa sent a young Mel away because she considered Mel her weakness, and here we see Caitlyn handing over Vi, someone who Ambessa knows has Caitlyn’s heart (is her weakness). It’s such a powerplay from Caitlyn; she takes what she knows about how Ambessa’s mind works and uses that to her advantage to stage her betrayal.

Ambessa’s biggest mistake in this scene is her arrogance. She doesn’t consider for a second that Caitlyn will betray her. While she understands that Vi must be disposed of before she becomes a distraction for Caitlyn and ruins all of Ambessa’s manipulations, she fails to comprehend just how easily Vi could have gotten through to Caitlyn. 

In fact, Ambessa even gloats about how Vi’s absence provided a vacuum she was able to fill in Caitlyn; with manipulation, with Maddie, with fuelled hatred. Without Vi to ground her, Caitlyn, in Ambessa’s eyes, was easily shaped into her cold, ruthless commander. She can’t have Vi ruining that now. It’s why she knows she has to kill her if she wants to keep Caitlyn as her puppet.

The problem with Ambessa putting all of her money on Caitlyn’s hate for Jinx being stronger than any of her past feelings for Vi, is that Ambessa completely fails to recognise that Vi has already saved Caitlyn. All it took was for their eyes to lock again and Vi shattered the hard shell Ambessa worked hard to build around Caitlyn.

Don’t get me wrong, Caitlyn was starting to save herself (unbeknown to Ambessa, thanks to her ego) but Vi showed up at the right time, in the right place and offered Caitlyn a hand. A hand that Caitlyn took without a second of doubt.

Ambessa overlooks the importance of Vi’s duality to Caitlyn, that’s she’s Caitlyn’s biggest weakness but she’s also her biggest strength, until it’s too late. Caitlyn is already distracted, she’s already made her choice; it’s Vi.

I think this shows major growth for Caitlyn, because even though she doesn’t know about Jinx’s involvement at this stage, she still chooses Vi over Ambessa. She chooses Vi over her mission. She chooses Vi over her grief. It doesn’t take back her mistakes but it sets Caitlyn back on the right path, the path where she will protect people, especially those she loves.

Caitlyn follows Vi’s plan to subdue Signed and attempts to help Vander but Rictus stops her. It seems that while Ambessa trusted Caitlyn, Rictus wasn’t convinced. Just as it looks like he will kill Caitlyn, Jinx fires a shot and saves her.

Does Jinx do it because she cares about Caitlyn? No. Jinx saves Caitlyn to save Vander. Does Jinx know deep down that killing Caitlyn would affect the bridges she’s building with Vi? I absolutely think so.

As Vander saves Jinx from Rictus we see Vi rush in and embrace her family. Caitlyn, while betrayed by Jinx’s unexpected involvement, and who is still knocked down on the floor, briefly locks eyes with Vi only to witness Vi smiling and happy with her family. 

This is the first time Caitlyn gets to see Vi freely happy with the people she loves. All she’s ever witnessed from Vi before is pain. Pain at losing her parents, pain at losing Vander, pain at being locked away for years, pain for leaving Powder and having to accept Jinx. Pain from Caitlyn. And Jinx is right there too, looking happy and holding Vander and Vi in return. Has Vi forgiven Jinx? Can Vi forgive her? Can Caitlyn forgive any of it? 

It’s a lot for Caitlyn to process and she doesn’t really get a chance to before Jayce hammers Viktor to death and sends the place into chaos. 

Instead we see Caitlyn following behind Vi and Jinx as they run outside to see what’s going on. Warwick is back to being bloodthirsty now that Viktor is dead, and Ambessa has arrived with the Noxian army seeking revenge. Her eyes piercing Caitlyn glaringly for her betrayal before she attacks.

It’s important to note that not once during the fight sequence with Vander and the Noxians do we see Caitlyn try and take a shot at Jinx. She easily could have, at multiple points, but she doesn’t. 

Why?

Because when she freed Vi from Stillwater in S1 she decided to trust her. She trusted her because beneath Vi’s tough exterior Caitlyn could see her pain. Since that moment all Caitlyn has wanted to do is soothe Vi’s wounded heart. It’s why she didn’t shoot Jinx in the season 1 finale, it’s why she lets Vi stop her shooting Jinx in Ep3, and it’s why she doesn’t try to shoot Jinx now.

Caitlyn has been devastated by the loss of her mother at Jinx’s hands. It’s a pain she will never fully heal from, and in these moments Caitlyn has to decide if she wants to be responsible for adding to Vi’s pain. Can she kill Vi’s sister? Can she cause more suffering to the woman she loves? More than she already has? The answer is a resounding no. 

Because despite everything, Caitlyn is a good person with a good heart. She was just swept away and lost in her grief. But now she’s anchored again thanks to Vi. She may never forgive Jinx, she may always hate her for what she did but she will always love Vi more.

We see Caitlyn protecting Vi during the fight, and we even see her letting Vi go in order to save Jinx when she gallantly rushes in to try and save Isha.

By the end of Act 2 we stop seeing Commander Caitlyn Kiramman here and simply see Cait again. She’s definitely more bruised and hardened by her trauma and experiences but she’s there, fighting her way back to the surface.

This takes us into Act 3 and Caitlyn’s reconciliation with her true self and her steps towards atonement. 

/

Act 3:

Ep 8 -

This episode starts with an unconscious Vi awakening after her near death experience in ep6. Loris is there when she wakes and he tries to calm her down by answering her burning questions about the locations of Jinx and Cait.

Let’s just take a second to note that Vi isn’t just anywhere in Piltover, oh no, she’s tucked safely in Caitlyn’s bed in the Kiramman house. And Loris openly tells her that Caitlyn rounded up a squad of doctors to patch her back together. There’s a bunch of pillows piled on the side next to Vi - did Caitlyn watch over her while she healed? The show doesn’t explicitly state it, but Loris implies that Caitlyn wanted to be there when Vi woke, suggesting that Caitlyn hasn’t left her side often, and the reason for her absence must be important.

We get to see why Caitlyn isn’t at Vi’s side when she wakes just seconds later. Caitlyn is with Maddie, contemplating Ambessa’s inevitable attack on Piltover. She knows it’s coming, especially now that Ambessa knows of her betrayal. Considering Caitlyn has been the commander of the invasion into Zaun for months at this point, here we see her approach to be a little more cautious. No longer is she so warped by Ambessa’s reckless ways, or her hate fuelled mission for revenge against Jinx, now Caitlyn is trying to find her feet as commander in her own way; listening to her own morals and trying to make the right choices. Caitlyn knows there won’t be any negotiations with Ambessa thanks to her betrayal, and so careful, clever strategy is what she’s going to need to come up with, and fast, if she’s to save Piltover.

Maddie tries to offer comfort but Caitlyn straight up rejects her. Why? Because there was never any true affection between them. Maddie was just a distraction, a warm body to keep Caitlyn’s focus away from Vi and stuck in the darkness she was drowning in. But now that Vi's back in her orbit, Caitlyn is even less interested in Maddie, and the second Vi storms in demanding answers about Jinx, Caitlyn dismisses Maddie without a second thought.

Here we see some of the tension between Caitlyn and Vi boil to the surface. Their reunion in the previous episode was quick, it was based on innate trust and convenience, but there was no time for a proper resolution to the issues between them. Vi demands answers for why Jinx is locked away, accusing Caitlyn of still being on her blinding revenge quest against Jinx. When Caitlyn’s initial attempt to calm Vi falls on deaf ears, she retorts with anger at Vi’s lack of trust in her to do the right thing.

‘Arrested?’

‘Vi…’

‘She saved your life.’

‘If you will just calm down for one—’

‘Even knowing you’d never have done the same for her.’

‘We’ll never know, will we? You didn’t let me in on that part of your plan.’

‘Clearly the right call, since you can’t trust her enough not to shove her in a box.’

‘Trust? You believe I’m so daft I can’t recognise a contingency? She wasn’t there for my benefit. You didn’t trust me to follow through.’

‘Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it!’

I think Vi’s defence here is fair, given that Vi not only witnessed Caitlyn’s hatred for Jinx morph into an obsession, but that she also got a taste of Caitlyn’s spiral into darkness herself when Caitlyn was cruel to her in ep3. She was in Zaun the entire time Caitlyn was enforcing Ambessa’s martial law too. Vi has seen the violence and the damage done at Caitlyn’s hands with her own eyes. So it’s not a surprise that Vi didn’t trust her fully when they reunited in ep6. Caitlyn has been under Ambessa’s thumb for far too long for Vi to assess just how much lasting damage has been done to Caitlyn in ep6. 

When Vi confronts Caitlyn with this harsh reality, Caitlyn cracks in shame and anger - ‘I know!’

Caitlyn can see what she’s done, what she’s become, and she takes accountability for it with this simple acknowledgement. She’s not a words girl, we know she’s more emotionally repressed when it comes to expressing herself that way, but as she sinks back onto the arm of the couch we can physically see her deflation. Caitlyn is very much aware of her mistakes. She knows she’s had her grief manipulated and that to an extent, because of her hatred of Jinx, she let it happen. It has cost Caitlyn greatly, and we see how fragile her relationship with Vi is now as a result.

But the best thing about this much needed heated exchange is that Caitlyn gets to show Vi that she’s not completely lost to her, that she has managed to start pulling herself out of her darkness. 

‘The only thing Jinx cared about was getting you to safety. Then she just surrendered. I didn’t even have time to think before they hailed her off. She’s being held in the bunker while I decide what to do. I was waiting for you to recover.’

Why did Caitlyn wait? 

Well she unfairly pushed the enforcer badge on to Vi back in episode 1 because she selfishly needed reassurance and loyalty during her spiraling grief. She forced Vi to choose between her and Jinx when deep down Cait knew that would be an impossible thing for Vi to do. 

Caitlyn waiting for Vi to recover before any decision is made about what happens to Jinx proves that Cait wants to atone. It shows Vi where she’s at, and Vi recognises the gesture immediately. There’s her Cait. It’s not commander Kiramman sitting before her, but the woman she was falling for back before Jinx’s attack at the end of season 1.

It gives Vi all she needs to fight for her family; for Jinx and for Cait.

‘Cait, she’s changed.’ 

Vi wants Cait to understand what she’s been going through, what she’s witnessed in regards to Jinx and Isha and the bridges they were beginning to build. But even though Cait hears this - Jinx saved her when she easily could have let Rictus kill her - she can’t quite accept it. Not because she doesn’t necessarily believe Vi but because how can anybody accept the unspeakable violence and acts that Jinx has done? That Caitlyn has done? In Caitlyn’s mind they’re inescapable and unforgivable.

‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’

But Vi is the voice of reason and immediately challenges her response with this soul searching question - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

The conflicting expressions that flicker across Caitlyn’s face as Vi leaves her at the end of this scene shows how carefully and heavily this question sits in Cait’s chest. 

Who does get to decide who deserves a second chance? Is it the responsibility of someone else to decide if you’re worthy? Or is it up to you to free yourself from the burdens of your mistakes?

It’s a set of questions that Caitlyn takes with her when she visits Jinx in her cell. 

We start by seeing Caitlyn taking Jinx a tray of food, a sign of her good heart and the extension of a tentative olive branch before they get into having their first ever, real conversation.

‘Vi thinks that you’ve changed.’

‘She can’t accept what you and I know. There are no happy endings.’

Jinx’s response to Caitlyn’s statement immediately brings us back to Vi’s question for Caitlyn - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

Jinx is just as closed off to the idea as Caitlyn (‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’) and that immediately triggers Caitlyn. Because if they’re right, if they don’t deserve second chances, what’s left of them both?

Caitlyn wants accountability; from Jinx, from herself, and so she presses further:

‘Is that all you have to say for yourself? There won’t be a trial. I’m giving you this one chance to account for your actions, all the pain you’ve caused.’

But Jinx continues to look defeated and doesn’t react, showing a shell of the person Caitlyn knew her to be - the Jinx that Caitlyn despised. Caitlyn grows frustrated and bangs her fist into the cell bars.

‘No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.’

Here Caitlyn takes accountability by saying ‘our crimes’, she knows they’ve both caused pain, but even that doesn’t get a reaction. Jinx is empty; empty of anger, of hate, of taunts. All the time she’s spent being vengeful hasn’t made her feel better, or changed anything that’s happened, it’s just left her utterly exhausted. There’s no fight left in her and she admits as much to Caitlyn:

‘Do what you came here to do.’

Caitlyn’s lingering anger disappears instantly as she recognises Jinx’s predicament as her own. The cost of their hatred, of their vengeance hasn’t been worth it. It’s cost them both exponentially. They’re both shells of who they were, who they should be.

‘Hating you… I’ve hated myself. I just don’t have the energy for it any longer.’

Caitlyn starts to walk away but before she gets far Jinx gives her the accountability that Caitlyn needs to hear from Jinx in order to free herself of her self hatred:

‘I didn’t know your mom was there. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but… I didn’t know.’

It’s not a sorry. These two will never say sorry to each other. They will never like each other. But this is the moment Caitlyn lets go of her hatred, of her need for justice. Jinx’s confession releases Caitlyn from the burden of her guilt over her mother’s death and breaks their cycle of violence.

In return, we see Caitlyn answer Vi’s question. She doesn’t say sorry, or beg for forgiveness, she acts. She orders all the guards to the Hexgates, leaving Jinx unguarded, and in doing so grants Jinx her second chance. She does it not only for herself and for Jinx, but for Vi. 

Caitlyn knows Vi will free Jinx because Vi loves unconditionally. She fights for those she loves and she can’t give up on Jinx because they’re family and Vi feels responsible for her. It’s the essence of who Vi is.

It’s something Caitlyn has come to understand from her grief because she too couldn’t let go; of her mother, of her guilt, of her hatred. It’s because of love that she became the commander and made the mistakes she did, and it’s because of love that Vi will do what she needs to save her sister. But most importantly it's because of love that Caitlyn is willing to let Vi save Jinx, even if that means letting Vi go. Cait’s giving Vi the freedom to make her own choice despite knowing it could cost her what she wants. And what Caitlyn wants more than anything is Vi. 

Caitlyn’s atonement for her sins begins in that one beautiful, selfless act of letting go.

When we next see Caitlyn she is freeing Vi from the cell that Jinx locked her in. Vi is punishing herself for what she thinks is her having made the wrong choice again. She really thought Jinx would help, but she didn’t, she left Vi, and now Vi’s worried that by betraying Cait to free Jinx, she’s lost Caitlyn too. 

‘Did you really think I needed all the guards at the Hexgates? Sorry to say, you’ve grown a bit predictable.’

We already know that Cait set Jinx’s escape up for Vi. That she prioritized her love for Vi over her hatred for Jinx, and in the one confession, Vi now knows it too. Caitlyn acted for her. Caitlyn sees Vi and accepts her fully.

We’ve already established that Caitlyn knew Vi would try to save her sister, but what we didn’t know for certain, and what Caitlyn most definitely didn’t know for certain, is would Vi still be there and would Vi still want her?

Here we get Vi’s answer when Vi finally takes what she wants and kisses Cait. 

Caitlyn can’t quite believe it, but when Vi just keeps on kissing her, it clicks for Cait that Vi does want her just as much as she wants Vi.

I adore the use of lighting in this scene, and I’ve seen a few wonderful posts analysing this in detail, so I won’t overstep. But i just wanted to note how clever it is to see Vi pull Cait out of darkness and back into the light. And while we’re talking about the light I will quickly add on a bit about Maddie. Vi couldn’t give two fucks about her. She didn’t when she met her, she didn’t when she saw her in Cait’s house, and she doesn’t give a fuck if she was in Cait’s bed. Vi knows Cait lost herself, and Maddie was simply something for Cait to lose herself in, as much as fighting and alcohol was for Vi. All that matters is now, and what matters now is her and Cait.

I could talk about their sex scene beat by beat but I think the fandom has analysed it to death beautifully already. What I will say is we see the culmination of both their arcs here. Vi, at Jinx’s behest, finally lets herself be happy and what makes her happy is Caitlyn. And Caitlyn uses every touch to apologise, to show her love and regret to Vi. She gives up the control that has kept her blindly focused on her revenge and hatred. Cait gives herself over completely to Vi’s love and redeems her soul by doing so. It’s beautiful to see Vi finally take what she wants.

The culmination of this episode is heartwarming. We see Cait giving Jinx a second chance, Jinx then in turn gives Vi a second chance by setting her free from the burden of their tormented past, and Vi returns that grace by granting Cait a second chance from her mistakes. 

The three of them break the cycle together.

—-

Ep 9 -

A lot happens in this final episode but I’m strictly going to try and focus on Caitlyn and Vi before this analysis grows any longer.

Piltover is preparing for Ambessa’s and Viktor’s attack. We see Caitlyn and Vi in the council bunker with Jayce and Mel. Here Jayce tells Caitlyn, Vi and Mel that he needs them to take the enforcers and buy him as much time against Ambessa’s forces while he shuts down the Hexgates.

When Jayce says this is a fight they’re supposed to lose, Vi’s fist visibly clenches. She doesn’t like losing fights, and definitely doesn’t want to lose this one now that she’s finally letting herself be happy, but you can tell Vi is tired. She’s been fucking through it emotionally and physically these past 2 seasons and Cait catches her anxiety instantly. It’s only a fleeting moment, but we see Cait cover Vi’s hand and squeeze in support and encouragement. Vi doesn’t have to fight alone anymore. They can fight together.

Here we see Caitlyn embodying her role as the commander she was always meant to be when she says they can stop Viktor, and determidly shoves his little model down. I love seeing her so strong and resolved here. She’s got far too much to fight for and to put right to admit defeat so easily.

While Vi is off with her batch of enforcers leading a charge from one of the towers, Caitlyn is down in the front line with her own squad fighting back the Noxian forces who have Ambessa leading the charge. 

We see Caitlyn with her trusty rifle and Maddie as her spotter fighting hard, but can only watch in horror as a shimmer fuelled army seems to be relentlessly coming for them. Commander Caitlyn kicks in and keeps her team going even when it seems like they might be losing. She fights with everything she has to put their plan into action, knowing that she has mistakes to atone for.

But something goes wrong and before she knows what’s happening, Caitlyn takes a massive hit to the back of the head. It winds her and leaves her struggling to get up, and when she does it’s to see that her enforcers have been captured by the Noxian troops, and Ambessa is marching straight towards her.

When she glances back to see who has a rifle aimed at the back of her head, Caitlyn comes face to face with Maddie. It’s here that we get the reveal that Maddie is a Noxian spy and has been working for Ambessa the entire time. It’s another mistake for Caitlyn, a failing of her judgment, once again made during her grief and manipulated by Ambessa perfectly.

‘I warned you of the hazards of professional entanglement.’

Ambessa’s gloating is a horrible reminder of how fair Caitlyn let herself fall beneath Ambessa’s influence, and I think it’s this self awareness, this shame, that causes Caitlyn to take her chance. She never really had any true feelings for Maddie, Caitlyn was using her for distraction just as Maddie was using her for information, and now she has an opportunity to atone for her sins by ending this war if she can just get the shot on Ambessa.

Caitlyn smashes the rifle back into Maddie’s face as she grabs it from her and takes her aim at Ambessa. But of course Ambessa anticipates Caitlyn’s reckless attempt, she goaded her into it after all, and Caitlyn once again pays the price for her mistakes when Ambessa thwarts her attack and stab’s Caitlyn in the stomach instead.

When Caitlyn falls to her knees before Ambessa and her mocking ‘desperation is the doorway to oblivion, child’ you can see the sorrow on Cait’s face. In her eyes she has failed. She’s failed Piltover, she’s failed herself, and she’s failed Vi. Filled with regret, I imagine Cait’s life flashes before her eyes as Maddie loads the gun and takes the shot.

There’s the sound of the gun firing, a cracking of gold, and then the wet sound of blood. Maddie’s body slops weightless down against her back before slumping to the ground and Caitlyn is left with the stark realisation that she isn’t dead. Her second chance is truly a second chance.

Enter Mel, in all her glorious magical power. While she faces off with her mother, Jinx joins the battle in her outlandish way, and the symbolism of second choices being worth having comes full circle as the chaos of her arrival grants Piltover and Zaun another chance to fight back.

The enforcers break free during the chaos and continue to fight, and Viktor’s hive mind army starts rushing the Hexgate while Mel and Caitlyn face off with Ambessa. 

This fight shows off Caitlyn’s redemption arc beautifully. With renewed strength Caitlyn is back on her feet and circling Ambessa as she exchanges heated words with Mel.

Fuck words though, Caitlyn is a woman made of action, and with determination thrumming through her veins, she punches Ambessa in the face, cutting off her self-serving tirade.

‘Shut up and fight.’

Caitlyn truly becomes the commander she was always meant to be when she challenges Ambessa here. She has a lot to prove, a lot to atone for and a lot left to fight for, and Caitlyn gives every bit of herself over to it, consequences be damned. She’s willing to give her life to save everyone, and if that’s not Caitlyn trying to be redeemed I don’t know what else she could do.

The fight sequence is incredible. Ambessa takes on her daughter duo skillfully. Ambessa is a tank of a woman, a fearless leader and a fierce fighter. But Caitlyn has grown and changed. She’s not the naive child Ambessa manipulated anymore, she’s a wise, hardened warrior with a good heart and an unwavering desire to make amends.

We see Caitlyn’s true, courageous strength in this scene as she uses Ambessa’s own Noxian teachings against her;

Caitlyn fights with all her might; she ignores the blade in her stomach and goes for Ambessa again and again, taking blow after blow but never quitting. 

She fights with vision; her intuitiveness effectively analysing Ambessa’s movement, choices and weaknesses. She sees the runic band around her arm deflecting Mel’s attacks, and plans to use it against her.

She fights with guile; when Ambessa has her on her knees, a blade heading towards her eye, and Ambessa’s air of victory about her, Cait uses the blade in her stomach to make her move and slices the band from Ambessa’s arm.

But most importantly Caitlyn sacrifices.

In season 1 she trades her prized rifle, which is essentially an extension of who Caitlyn is at her very core, to get the medicine needed to save Vi. Here, in the fight against Ambessa, Caitlyn gives over even more. She gives her eye - an actual piece of herself - to try and save Piltover and Zaun. Cait is a marksman, her sight is imperative, and yet Caitlyn gives her eye freely. She doesn’t do it for forgiveness but because she needs to try and make amends and put things right. She does it because she was willing to pay the ultimate price of her sins.

Words mean a lot, but so do actions, and Cait is redeemed by hers in these final episodes, in my opinion at least. 

After the battle is over and it appears they’ve won we don’t see Cait and Vi again until the very end but we do see Sevika taking a seat at the council. Cait has given her seat to Zaun. She took so much from them during her grief and hatred and now that she’s free from that, she gives them her seat so they can have a voice. Their own voice. I don’t personally see how Caitlyn could ever remain in the council when she was an oppressor to Zaun. She had to step back and give that up in order for the divide between Piltover and Zaun to continue to grow and heal. Her purpose in rebuilding will be found elsewhere.

With that said, we don’t know if Cait is still an enforcer or not, but we do see eye-patch Caitlyn back to her investigative ways. She’s pensively studying the Hexgates blueprint while twirling a piece of shrapnel between her fingers. It’s not just any piece of shrapnel though, it’s the head of one of Jinx’s monkey bombs. Caitlyn zooms in on the vents leading off the Hexgates, and it appears she’s pondering one question; could Jinx have survived and escaped?

The question is why is Caitlyn looking in the first place. Is she looking to simply help Vi with getting closure? Or is Cait looking because second chances and forgiveness become more healing with time? Is there a world where Caitlyn and Jinx can grow and heal enough to both be in Vi’s orbit without hurting her? It’s left open to interpretation. But it’s hopeful after all the pain the three of them have endured.

We see Vi looking emotionally and physically spent as she hums to herself. But she also looks calm and at peace. Humming, enjoying the fire, comfortably sitting like she’s at home in the Kiramman house. It’s heartwarming to see Vi looking safe; like she belongs.

Cait comes through from her investigating, and teases Vi slightly showing a domestic growth in their relationship. We don’t know how long it’s been but we can assume both cities are still in a state of rebuild and change. 

Caitlyn is still a Kiramman however. She might not be a commander anymore but she still has a sense of duty and will always want to help, and she checks in with Vi to see if she’s still there with her. Because Vi doesn’t have to fight anymore if she doesn’t want to, and if she doesn’t, Caitlyn won’t ask her too. 

‘Are you still in this fight, Violet?’

But the thing about Vi is no matter how emotionally and physically exhausted she is, or how beaten down, Vi will always get up. It’s just who Violet is at her core. Vi fights for what she loves, to protect and help them, and the person Vi loves more than anything is Caitlyn, so of course Vi is right there with her. 

‘I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing’s gonna clean me out.’

Together they will weep, and laugh, and love, and heal, and work to make things better. Together they will keep moving forwards, always.

——

With all that picked apart, I think Caitlyn is a well rounded, flawed character, and she’ll always be up there as one of my favourites now. We see her go through hell and back and come out the other side with a good heart. She’s not perfect… but just like Vi, I love her.

[mrsmnsn]

“Will you forgive me, please?”

Warnings: angst; eddie and reader are in a one year relationship; reader almost burst from stress; verbal fight; happy ending (the only right way, cuz i can’t stand when it ends sadly:)), no use of y/n (she is referred as sweetie/sweetheart), let me know if i’m missing something something

wc: 1.9k

summary: Reader is going crazy with how much is going on on her life. Studying for the final exams, work with terrible people. But on a weekend, when Eddie comes without warning you, you both fought for the first time in your relationship.

Being Eddie's girlfriend was the best part of your life. You loved him and the way he treated you. You've been together for a year now and, between this time, you got to know all sides of him. Goofy, funny, kind, sexy. But you've never seen him get mad. Pissed? Of course! All the time, he would be complaining about things or cursing other people who were assholes with him. But he was never mad, at least not with you.

But there was one specific time when you were having a terrible week. With the final exams, not to mention you mentoring other students, you were one step away from losing it. And there was your boss giving you the same speech all week because one of your co-workers snitched you for kissing your boyfriend at work. It was just a smooch!

"This girl's a bitch. Probably never touched a dick in her life!" That's what Eddie said to you.

But, by the end of the week, you were on edge. And being busy all the time, you never got the chance to spend a single minute with your boyfriend. But he would have to wait, the finals were more important now. Eddie didn't seem to agree. He showed up at your door with movies in his hands.

"Hey sweetie, i'm sorry i'm a little late. Had to kick some ass to get out of Family Video" You just hummed, trying to understand what was wrong with your calculus. "I'm great, thanks for asking!"

On his way he, unfortunately, met Jason at the same place. He didn't actually fought him, just some heated exchange of words. It got him a little pissed, but he was going to spend the night with you, so he pretended that he was fine. He was hoping that you would make him feel better.

"Eddie you can put the movie, i don't mind, but i'll not pay attention. I really need to review this"

"Yeah sweetheart, whatever you say" Of course. He was not listening, looking for some candies in your cabinet.

He sat by your side and kept talking to you. You were trying so hard not to cut him off, you really missed him, but you couldn't allow yourself that privilege of five minutes making out with him. So by the end of the first movie he brought, he started to say some curious facts about it but you let out a groan. "Fuck. Why physics were so hard?” You thought to yourself.

"Alright, stop. What the fuck? I've be trying to talk to you for the whole week, but you were too busy. Now that is your time to relax you're going to keep studying?" He said in a serious tone. At first you were quiet, waiting for him to calm down so you would not fight. But he said, louder this time "Say something, damn it!"

"What do you want me to say Eddie? I need to-" you were cut out

"Please, don't you think you studied enough? The whole week, is all you've been doing. You’re gonna burst into flames from thinking too much."He was now facing you, your book long forgotten as the both of you started to lose it.

"Well, for some of us, the constancy is required! I am not doing very good in this subject. I'm just trying to do my best and you should be doing the same." He shifted his body and giggled in a sarcastic way.

"Oh yes, let's remember the freak who was held back. So original. That's very dirty bellow the belt of you sweetheart." His facial expression was full of disappointment and anger.

"Can you not contort my words? I said as you should be doing your best too so you don't get held back again!" You regretted the time you said it. It was dirty of you and his eyes were not looking into yours anymore. "I know i was not very present this week, but can't you just wait 'till the goddamn exams to end. I don't know what happened for you be so rude but you shouldn't be taking it out on me!"

He was not looking at you, fidgeting with his rings, thinking of the right thing to say so you could stop fighting.

"All i wanted was to spend time with you, what the fuck is wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong, is just that i told you that i needed to get good at this."

"That's the fucking point, there's nothing to get better at, you've been working on it for so long, there is nothing new to see! Fuck, you’re not even answering when i talked to you."

"Stop being dramatic Eddie! Do you think i like this, the way that i'm on the edge right now? Fighting with my boyfriend and friends, not having a fucking second to breathe because it feels like everything i do is wrong?"

"And i am the one dramatic. Let me give you a heads up. It's not the end of the fucking world if you fail a test. Besides, you couldn't do it even if you tried. You had to have sucked in the other tests to be held back, like me."

"Oh my god! Why don't you grow up a little and see how this is important to me? Look, we both are angry for some reason and are not in conditions to talk. I think is the best for you to leave. So we don't hurt ourselves anymore."

"You always have to be so good and solve every damn problem, right? Only so in the end i can be the bad guy. Honestly, why are you the one to say what we should or shouldn't do?"

"Because it's my fucking house and i want you to leave!"

At this point, after wrestling and yelling at each other, you were with tears in your eyes panting without knowing what to do. Eddie gulped, stepped back and, not saying a word, he left.

The tears were rolling down your cheeks. Now there was no way you would focus on physics. You regretted so much. All the words said in the heat of the moment. You didn't mean any of them. And he probably didn't. You both said things to hurt each other in order to be right. Eddie was definitely upset about something, not just the lack of your attention. But now was not the time to find out.

——————

After a week, you finish every school exam and were finally free from school. And back in work, your co-worker was fired. She was caught fucking a random guy that you didn’t know on the boss’s office . “Guess Eddie was wrong” you thought giggling but getting upset the second after. You both have been avoiding each other. Eddie didn’t want to bother you and you didn’t want to hurt him. But it was time. You were tired of tearing up every time you remembered your fight.

So, at the end of your shift, you drove to the trailer park. It was the first time you fought and you hated. The feeling was that, at any second, you would lose him.

Knocking at his door, you stood there, waiting for him.

“Coming.” You heard his muffled voice. When he opened the door, he had an annoyed expression that shifted to a concerned one once he saw it was you. He was shirtless, wet hair and sweatpants that hung low on his hips. You didn’t know if it was because of the long week not seeing him, but he looked incredibly handsome. “Hey” It was the only thing he could say, surprised by your appearance.

“Hi… Can we talk.” You said hesitant, not knowing where to start.

“Sure. Please” He opened the door wider letting you in. Guiding you on the couch, where you both sat in awkward silence. It didn’t even look like you two were together for a long time. “I assume you’re here to talk about last weekend.” You nodded trying your best not to cry already which was really hard because of the way he looked at you.

“Look Eddie, i don’t even know where to start. We both lost our senses and said terrible things we shouldn’t. I honestly feel like-“ A feeling you getting accustomed in the past week grew in your throat. You couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. “I felt like i was losing my mind and that everything i was doing was wrong. You were right. I was taking too much at once and i couldn’t take it.”

“No no no. Sweetheart, i was the wrong one. I was worried about you and my own shit and i put that on your shoulders.” He said whipping your cheeks. “And as i usually do, to run away from my problems, i pretended that none of that was happening and didn’t realize how important studying was for you. I am truly sorry for that and for the fight.”

You hugged him tightly. His hands surrounded your waist and his nose nestled on your neck, sniffing your sent. He’d missed you deeply. “I’m sorry too” you said softly and moving away just enough to see his face. “I just want you to know that i don’t meant shit from what i’ve said. That was awful of me. I felt awful. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Of course i forgive you, sweetie. I was supposed to be the one apologizing. I also didn’t mean any of that crap. You forgive me too?” He said giving you a smirk that made you giggle.

“Yes. But only if you tell me why you were so worked up that night.”

“Oh shit, you’re right. My week was not great either. You know how much i hate finals. Before going to yours, i stopped at Family Video and i met with Jason Carver. And well, you know the story, he calls me a freak and i pretend that he hurt my feelings. But that night, he started to talk shit about us, like you were way out of my league. And until then i was like, tell me something i don’t know. But then the son of a bitch called you a whore and asked if you did your particular classes differently for a higher price. He didn’t have to say anything more and i was ready to punch him. I just lost my mind. Thank the metal gods that Steve stopped me from beating his face.”

“Oh my god! You could have told me” You don’t even know why you said that. You literally fought because you were too into your studies.

“It’s alright. He normally doesn’t piss me off. But I just can’t accept him talking shit about you. And i was too worked up that night anyway. Maybe i just wanted to punch him regardless of the reason.”

The good thing is that you got back to normal and cuddled for the rest of the day. Eddie wanted to stay close to you as much as he could, so he asked begged for you to stay over. So here you were, before going to sleep telling how much you loved each other.

“Good night baby” Even in the dark room, you could see his beautiful eyes looking at you with so much love

“Good night Eds” Closing your eyes ready to sleep, felling your man’s hand caressing you, you were sure that you were in heaven. Out of the sudden you remembered.

“Eds!” You turned fast to him scaring him a little “You won’t believe what happened.”

“What?” Poor man, he was half asleep. You giggled at his confused face.

“Apparently, that girl from work did a lot more than touching dick…”

“…I told you she was a bitch. A man knows”

“Shut up”

[gamblersdoll]

can u write for gyomei again please😕 just headcanons of how he would be like when he likes a fellow hashira/ what he looks for in a partner!! Im feeding off of CRUMBS cuz gyomei is so underrated 😭😭 THANK U!

ngl i wasn’t paying attention to him much only to sanemi 🥲 but i analyzed him.

gyomei does not really have a type, despite what people say about him.

him meeting a new hashira and him having a schoolboy crush, hes always somewhere behind you. his tall physique giving scary dog privilege.

but its accidental. hes alot more sensitive with you, yet being a sensitive person already. hearing your story’s actually have him sobbing, yet, he doesnt pity you. he sees your strength.

he also loves the fact you werent scared of him, because he embodies the gentle giant.

hes just in love, he holds you as he can and also carries you.

signs he likes you: he relies on you most, your decisions make him whole. he shares his prayers. he prays around you and with you. he also does not mind you not being religious. he also gives you beads, hoping you find use or luck with them. piggyback rides!

his love language is words of affirmation and service. he finds stretching with you or massaging your body after a huge workload most intimate than sex.

he doesnt have much signs or doesnt have any “types.”

[onyourowndaisymae]

mammon headcanons -- happy birthday 2023!

i wanted to post some headcanons for the birthday boy and thought it would be fun to explore what his actual day looks like. here are some of my thoughts (minor suggestiveness below):

for starters, mammon is maximizing every single minute of his birthday. from midnight to midnight, all 1440 minutes belong to him, and he can do with them whatever he pleases.

to maximize his privileges on his big day, he'll usually try to coax you into sleeping in his bed the night before. that way, you'll be there when the clock strikes midnight on his birthday and when he wakes up that morning. no matter how eager he is to get his special day started, he'll always take a moment to admire you while you're sleeping by his side-- your quiet breaths, your pleasant expression, maybe even your bedhead if you don't protect your hair at night. now this is a sight he'd be happy to wake up to every morning.

on that note, his getting ready process takes longer than usual. he'll linger about chatting with you about the day's plans, musing about all the surprises you and his brothers had prepared for him.

(ideally, most of his day would revolve around alone time with you-- but he knows his brothers are all too stingy to let him celebrate without him.)

no matter what the plans are, you're right there by his side. devil's coast? you're next to him on the rides. massive party? he's holding your hand as you weave through crowds together. casinos? well, he'd prefer you on his lap, but sitting nearby where your thighs brush together every time he shifts is an acceptable alternative if that's too much for you.

it may be his day, but he's constantly trying to win/buy you things. you'd think the avatar of greed would want to hoard gifts to himself, but no. he's into sharing the wealth today. after your third matching trinket, you begin to realize just how happy being connected with you like that makes him. jewelry, keychains, stuffed animals-- none of it matters as much as the simple fact that you're matching with him (and none of his brothers).

(he's also not above slipping things into your pockets when you're not paying attention. a sweet gesture, or an excuse to touch your hips/ass? he'll never admit to the latter.)

when the festivities begin to wind down at night, that's when mammon gets even clingier. he'll wait until a proper time to snag you away-- "c'mon, come help me get more to drink, human"-- and lure you somewhere more private. you're dutifully making yourself another drink when his arms wind around your waist from behind. he waits for you to face him before pressing his lips to yours. his kiss is hot and needy, warm breath intertwining with yours as he pulls you closer, crowding you around the edge of the counter as he gets as close as possible. your hands wander to his hair, his jaw, the sides of his face-- you can feel the flush of his skin against your palms.

eventually, one of his brothers stumbles upon you and you have to separate. by the time people start retiring at the end of the night, he's not-so-subtly urging you to join him in his room again tonight. sure, it may be past midnight and technically not his birthday anymore... but you'll still pamper him, won't you? today of all days, he's allowed to be greedy with you-- with all of you.

[4kirijo]

.... my lovely lifesaver

♡ ྀི༘͏ bodyguard! blade x affluent progeny! reader :3

this was barely proofread. it's nearly 4 am omg. anyways. i thought of "ridin" by lana del ray nd asap rocky as well as "genesis" by grimes while writing :3

no content warnings, fluff ^_^

odd jobs were not blade's thing.

he preferred things to be simple and less involved. an assassination or a scheme to overthrow a planet's leader were more up his alley.

not taking care of the child belonging to an affluent family.

your concerned relatives had gone through a long list of potential candidates to work as your bodyguard, and somehow stumbled across him. despite his reluctance, blade begrudgingly accepted the offer. the pay was generous, exceedingly so.

he hadn't expected to grow fond of you over the coming months. in fact, he dreaded the idea of his job. being the babysitter for a high maintenance progeny was the last thing he expected, and acting as another parental figure for them was something that blade wasn't cut out for. such things plagued the back of his mind, even if he didn't want to admit it.

however, you weren't like the person in his expectations, keeping him up from the much needed sleep he required.

you were much benign than what he believed, shockingly so. from the outside, you were nothing more than a privileged heir, blessed to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth, and prone to bad behavior. yet--- when he gave his first greetings, your responses would always be quiet and respectful.

he'd always be treated to a curt nod, a soft hum, and a gentle smile. those gestures of yours felt sweet to blade, akin to the taste of raw honey. perhaps you were that polite to everyone, it was the more rational answer to explain your behavior. however, he couldn't help but want your attention to be on him only.

often times, he'd find himself observing every curve, furrow, and flaw in your delicate features (when you weren't looking, of course. he couldn't allow himself to be obvious, it would shatter his dignity).

during his more restless nights, he'd ponder how receiving your affection would feel. could it be apple-sweet like fleeting touches and longing gazes? or would it be similar to tasting an orange? a mix of cheeky kisses and tender declarations of love?

questions about you tend to take center stage in blade's mind nowadays. was his performance good enough yesterday? did you notice him staring at your visage for a second too long? are you one for acts of service? or do you prefer to be more physical with of affect---

"....... blade, are you listening?" you quietly asked him, tilting your head.

despite being caught off guard by your sudden remark, blade attempted to mask his scrutinizing glance at you with his usual stoic demeanor.

"hm? could you repeat that again for me, please?"

your eyebrows furrowed at his perplexity (he'll have that image of your pretty expression burned into his mind for days), yet you continued your thought once more-- albeit with some exasperation.

"i asked if you'd like to continue our outing, you seem awfully tired, blade. i don't want to burden you further."

he quickly replied to your concerned question, "i appreciate your concern, but i'm fine. i can handle a few more hours of shopping."

blade was lying. but, admitting his fatigue felt like a blow to their happiness, and-- he couldn't say 'no' to fixating over their expressions.

"mm, are you sure that we shouldn't call it a day? ....... i don't wanna put extra stress on you." you couldn't help but respond to his dismissal with a bit more concern than before.

although it was quite bothersome to have someone be so considerate of his wellbeing after years of independency, blade found your words to be endearing. the sweet sugar cookie scented perfume emanating from you didn't help quell his overwhelming feelings either.

"..... no, let's keep shopping. i insist."

blade was enamored with you, to a pathetic extent. it bothered him to hell and back. but--- he couldn't imagine himself anywhere other than standing near you, longingly watching your every move, all while protecting you from the cruel world.

a/n: i hope ppl enjoy this !!!!!! it's my first fanfic :3 um its so hot. i hate sumemr. bye.

[linnetagain]

I hope you are doing well and thank you for writing some difficult parts of The Season for us. I am so nervous (in a plot-related way) and excited to see what you have in store!

I have a question which I wonder about every time I listen to one of the playlists or read chapter 5. In it, Gale says:

"“There's maybe two songs that I really do associate with particular moments, but that's all,” he says, when the song finishes. “One of them is a Taylor Swift song, too.”"

I am pretty sure that one of them is Slipping Through My Fingers by ABBA, judging by how he skips the song when it plays during training in ch 4, the first day of school photo in the corridor in ch 3, and what he says when Hessie has left the house in ch 17 about how she'll grow up and one day not need him anymore. I bet her first day at school was really difficult for him. They grow up so fast!

Now my question is, assuming Slipping Through My Fingers is one of them, should I be able to work it out from the text so far? I feel like I might just be being dense. It probably doesn't help that I am not that familiar with Taylor Swift's full catalogue (please don't come for me Swifties).

I am not asking for spoilers - in fact if it's going to come up in the story then please don't spoil anything 😂 - but it's actually driving me a bit crackers that I might be missing something.

Thank you so much again for all your hard work and dedication to The Season, it's wonderful, and I feel very privileged to be able to read it ❤️

Oh god I'm nervous too haha!! I'm so flattered that you've been re-reading and paying such close attention omg.

I don't think you'd have been able to work it out don't worry, and tbh I hadn't thought about it in a while!

Gale left Mystra for the last time in late 2022 early 2023 I believe (I don't have the exact timeline off the top of my head and rn I can't remember where I have it written down lol) - so exactly when Midnights was everywhere. I was thinking of that kind of memory you have when you go through a very specific time of your life around a time when a particular song or band are very prominent, and how they end up associated forevermore regardless of whether you intended them to be or not. I'm not a swiftie either but I do remember her voice everywhere that winter!

I don't think I'll ever write the scene, but I have this very clear image of Gale trying to do something normal like standing in a supermarket figuring out how to feed himself, and Bigger Than the Whole Sky playing over it. Especially living in London if you get taxis the cabbies play the radio a lot, and he was being hounded by paps, so the few times he went out cabs would have been how he got between Wyll and Ali's place and the new house when he was buying it and having it done up, and of course the courts. Just imagining that everywhere he went he was followed by this very successful singer when he's wondering if he's just thrown his whole career away, and the 'goodbye goodbye goodbye' refrain over and over. He wasn't in love with Mystra then, but he was definitely still bound up with her and caught up in thinking that he should have been able to save their relationship that had once been everything to him.

And yes, 'Slipping Through my Fingers' reminds him of Hessie.

There's actually a lot of other songs that I listened to while writing particular scenes that didn't get mentioned in the chapters haha. When I eventually finish it I might do a final chapter where I list them all for anyone interested!

[strzxrin]

˗ˏˋ whitewater’s backbone ˎˊ˗ — elliot pearce.

voice message received . . . “i believed i told i’d always find you no matter where you go, right doll?”

world . astern

ethnicity . american

age . 22

gender . male

species . human

untold truth . he believes that if it weren’t for his status, his looks or his surprisingly decent grades, no one would pay attention to him. he knows that the world isn’t forgiving towards those who are not privileged in certain things and he takes advantage of what he has. he ignores the coldness of his apartment when he returns back from classes, he ignores the news of his family’s latest achievements that’s shown on tv screens, and he focuses on something else. he focuses on you. the one thing in his life that’s stagnant and entertaining, one thing that lets him know that you are both meant to be — in his books of course. after all, you are his precious doll, someone who he would search the ends of the world if you ever decided to transfer universities due to his attitude. he can’t let you leave him, and he won’t ever let you leave him.

appearance.

short slick back red hair with a piece of hair that loose and would always stay in front. he has dark green eyes that always seem so smug whenever he sees you.

three beauty marks on his face, one on the left side of his lower lip, another on the right side of his nose bridge, and the final one on the outer corner of his right eye. overall he has prominent masculine features.

6’ft (183cm) with an athletic build on lean muscle and a warm toned olive skin.

on his right ear, he has two piercings, one on his helix and the other in his lobe, always wearing an ear cuff on his right while his left ear, he has two helix piercings.

he’s the type to always wear varsity jackets, no matter what the name of the university is. his overall aesthetic is baggy and comfortable, not really the type to fully flex his wealth on clothing.

he does wear expensive watches and perfume however.

incoming voice call . . . “doll, where are you.”

it’s been a week since he last saw you.

seven full days and the moment you stepped foot into this godforsaken, feet-kissing, stupid ‘prestigious’ university, he sees you talking to someone? someone he has never even fucking met — mind you, he has the list of every single student in this school, and you’re smiling so sweetly at that man too?

clearly you’ve been gone for far too long because you seem to have forgotten your place. he hears the sound of your laughter, your stifling giggles as the man you’re with makes a joke and his fingers curled up into a fist as he can’t seem to think straight anymore. the sheer audacity that both you and that man has is incredible really.

what was his final straw is when he saw the man patting your head and you stood there, just allowing him to do whatever he wanted. he already hated the fact that you did not show up to university for a whole week, he hates the fact that you’re letting some random loser close to you, but the moment that loser touches you? he can’t seem to remember what he was doing before anymore.

he blacked out and he only really returned to reality is when he feels your familiar warmth. oh, his fists moved on it’s own. but that loser deserved it, touching what was his. and of course no one dares to object nor try to defend you or this loser — of course no one dares. because the moment they do, their families will be ruined until the next 5 generations.

“stop it.. please,” he hears your pleading voice, the look of genuine tiredness in your eyes and he would’ve caved immediately if it weren’t for the fact that it’s so sickly pleasing to see you beg. he feels you holding his arms, a hand holding his fists and he just melts into the touch. yes, this is how it should’ve been from the very beginning.

“well then, maybe next time, you don’t try to run away from me anymore, doll.”

[rezingrave]

The Love Machine (1920) by Charles S. Wolfe

Hi I'm Rez. I like mind control. I like weird old stories. Sometimes in my travels I encounter things that encompass both. Here's my little attempt to preserve some forgotten history.

And when it does you see the conventions hurled ruthlessly aside, and every man-made barrier scaled, be it as high as the mountains or as broad as the sea. Let me get the coldest, most haughty beauty of the upper class into this chair, and I can force her to lavish every attention on the dirtiest ash man you can find in the city.

"The Love Machine" is a bizarre little story about a millionaire who pays a mad scientist to put his floozy chorus girl gf into a machine that will turn her into an obedient and domesticated wife.

While most stories would take such a premise to say that, perhaps, love cannot be reduced to mere electrical signals, or that it is, in fact, bad to brainwash your girlfriend and make her love you by force, Wolfe comes out boldly and bravely to assert that love is just a four letter word, and the only thing worse than mind control is divorce.

Since its short, obscure, and public domain, I've put the full thing (typos and all) under the cut for you to decide what the fuck this guy was on about, along with some more of my thoughts and brief historical context. Content warning for some rancid genteel misogyny.

The Love Machine by Charles S. Wolfe

Fennimore ript out a surprised oath, and hurled the morning paper to the floor with such vehemence that the sad faced man who stood patiently behind his chair involuntarily bounded backwards a foot or two. Such outbreaks on his master's part were unusual.

Muttering unintelligibly, Fennimore addresst himself to his coffee and rolls vigorously. This farce lasted only a few minutes, however, for the young man was past the eating stage. In spite of himself he soon gave over, reluctantly picking up the paper and turning again to the advertisement that had engendered the outburst.

He found the "Personal" column again, and located the offending ad. He read and re-read it, carefully, moodily.

"I offer my personal services to any person who finds his or her love unrequited. Success of your suit is certain if I handle it. George Parsons, 1938 M – – Street."

The word stared mockingly up at him from the printed sheet. For be it known that Fennimore, scion of wealth, accustomed to having his desires speedily realized, no matter what bizarre turn they took, was head over heels in love. Very unfortunately, the object of his affections could not, by any stretch of the imagination, he said to be in the same condition.

Fennimore, paper in hand, rose slowly to his feet, leaving his neglected breakfast to the care of the servant.

"His personal services, eh?" he muttered, "Well, we'll see what they amount to."

So it was that a half hour later, while his chauffeur loafed in the car outside Fennimore sat in conversation with George Parsons and the M street house.

Parsons, a jovial faced, middle aged man of short stature, honestly privilege to prefix his name with "Professor" and suffixt with Heaven knows how many formidable combinations of letters, leaned back in his chair and regarded his fidgeting visitor genially.

"So you are in love?" he mused. Fennimore glared without replying, a fact which disturbed the placid professor not a jot.

"Does the lady not give you no encouragement whatsoever? Have you made no progress all on your own hook?

Fennimore's fists clenched and unclenched in the violence of his rage. Just enough to keep me hanging around the stage door like the rest the fools in this town," he flung out bitterly, "I'd give a million dollars to see one symptom of real affection in her whole body."

Parson looked pleased. "Oh, we won't be that steep," he said, assuringly. "Ten thousand will see you out easily."

If looks could kill, Parson's hour had struck then and there. "You're damned mercenary about it," snarled Fennimore, "That detail could've waited 'till later."

"Just enough to keep me coming thru with the supper parties after the show.

Parsons was quite unmoved. "It is best that we understand this part of the matter right from the start," he demurred, firmly, "I'm a scientist, young man, but I am not wedded to my studies. The Almighty Dollar is no revolting spectacle to me."

"And what do you propose to do to earn this sum?" Challenged Fennimore, sulkily.

"I propose to make this — er— actress of yours the most docile, obedient, adorable and loving young bride that you ever laid eyes on."

"Easily said," jeered the wrathful millionaire.

"Easier done," retorted Parsons, promptly.

"May I ask how you propose to accomplish this miracle?" queried Fennimore, sarcastically.

"I am not telling you what I expect to do, young man," rejoined Parsons, "I am telling you what I'm going to do. There is no question whether I am able to get the results I advertise. I know I can. I have the necessary apparatus and the knowledge required to use it."

"Apparatus?" gasped the startled lover, "do you use machinery?"

"Most certainly," snapt the professor, somewhat nettled, "Did you have an idea that I charmed them with the flute?"

Fennimore ignored the thrust. "When can we begin on the system of yours?" he queried, uncertainly, for the whole thing seemed quite unreal to this lad who had never been accustomed to think of love in terms of ergs or calories.

"We can begin and end just as soon as you can get the object of your affections into my laboratory for a period of two hours."

"Great Scott," gasped Fennimore, "Does one treatment suffice?"

"It does," Parsons replied grimly "Quite."

"Do you guarantee a permanent —er — cure?" Fennimore demanded, determined to go through with the business, bizarre as it looked.

"I do not," chuckled Parsons, "But I do guarantee it to last long enough to get you past the minister and back from Europe. Say two years. Then if you have any trouble, bring her around for another treatment."

"How am I to get her into your laboratory?" asked Fennimore, satisfied.

"Great Heavens, man," Parsons was exasperated, "If you haven't enough native wit for that task I don't wonder that you have been tagging around without getting anywhere.'

"I can't drag her in by the hair of the head, you know," Fennimore interpolated hastily, "It isn't being done at all."

"No, I suppose not," the professor sighed, sarcastically, "And what a pity the fine pointed needle is a taboo, too. Well, I suppose I must plan a course of action for you. Convince our young friend that she isn't looking as well as she has been. Tell her you have heard of some wonderful electric treatments that are getting remarkable results. Tell her that all your wealthy friends are having them. That's the bait she'll raise to. And then offer to pay for a course for her. I think that'll bring her here. Once inside my laboratory, I'll answer for all the rest."

Fennimore arose. "All right, Parsons," he said, "We'll try it. I'll telephone you as soon as I get a definitive decision from Violetta." Parsons smiled quaintly after the departing car. "Before that two year period expires, son," he soliloquised, "You'll be begging me for the antidote."

It took Fennimore a week to convince Violetta that she needed toning up. Finally, attracted by the price that the young millionaire would have to pay for her treatments, the fickle young beauty consented, agreeing to place herself in Parson's hands.

When the last curtain fell one evening she hastened to her dressing room and made ready for her first visit to the professor's laboratory. The impatient Fennimore was waiting for her with his big limousine, into which he piloted her as soon as she emerged from the stage door alley. Half an hour later she was shaking hands with Parsons.

"Rotten of us," she drawled, languidly, as the scientist dropt her limp hand, "Rotten of us to keep you working at this hour. But I just can't get up in the mornings. Habit I formed out in the sticks making night jumps. Nothing really the matter with me, is there, Doc?"

"Haven't had a chance to examine you yet, young lady, but off hand I should say there were several things the matter with you," said Parsons, dryly, as he led the way into his laboratory.

Fennimore shot him a sharp look, started to speak, then changed his mind. The girl, who had not caught the hidden meaning of the scientist’s remark, rattled on, waxing doubly garrulous as she caught sight of the formidable arraty of electrical apparatus and switchboards in the sanctum. Had either she or Fennimore been versed in such matters they would have been able to identify several familiar pieces of high frequency apparatus, the brass stripped oscillation transformers and burnished Leyden jars being quite conspicuous in the array.

Parsons wasted no time in useless preliminaries. “You first, Fennimore.” he said, curtly.

“I,” objected the amazed millionaire, “I'm not here for treatment.”

“Heavens, man,” interposed the professor, testily, “Don’t question my methods. I must have your rate.”

Fennimore’s teeth snapt shut on his unspoken retort, and submissively he took in each hand the peculiar metal electrodes the scientist proferred. He was finding Parsons a different man in the laboratory from what he had been in his consulting room.

The professor, his eyes watching intently the quivering pointer on a meter face, paid scant attention to his two companions. Finally he made some notes on a pad and relieved Fennimore of the electrodes.

“That will do, thank you,” he said, “Now I must figure out your rate.”

“My rate of what?” demanded the mystified youth.

“The rate at which you are vibrating per second,” replied Parsons, none too graciously, “Let’s see. The square root of---- . Ah! There we have it. You vibrate, Fennimore, between the twenty-fifth and twenty-seventh octaves. Thirty-seven million, five hundred and fifty thousand and some odd cycles a second, if figures interest you.”

“They don’t,” replied Fennimore, promptly, his eyes feasting on Violetta, “Not that kind, anyway.”

Parsons handed the girl the electrodes, and again studied the quivering needle. Again his pencil was busy. Then he faced the pair, a satisfied look on his face which told plainly that he had found what he sought.

“And you, my friend,” he said to Violetta, “Vibrate at the rate of thirty-seven million, five hundred and forty-nine thousand and a few odd hundred. There’s only about seven hundred cycles difference between you. You’re a fine pair of zincs.”

“Fine pair of zincs,” echoed Fennimore, “What the devil, Parsons, ”

“Ever see a dry cell, Fennimore?” Parsons asked, calmly, “Carbon and zinc poles, yon know? Well, you’re a pair of negatives. You couldn’t have succeeded in this case in a thousand years.”

“See here,” broke in the imperious Violetta, “What’s all this about a pair of negatives? When do I get those treatments?”

“Don’t worry,” Parsons assured her, “You’ll get them.”

Fennimore faced her doggedly. “Look here, Violetta,” he said, determinedly, arms folded, jaw squared, “You may as well know the truth. I've told you a thousand times how desperately I love jmu. Every time you’ve laughed in my face. Fve grown desperate. I had to do something. The professor here thinks he can arouse in you some love for me by means of these treatments. That’s why we’re here, and that’s why he has to take observations of the both of us.”

After one startled moment, the girl gave way to uncontrolled laughter. "Make me love you with a bunch of juice,” she gasped, “Oh, Lord. This is rich.”

Parsons regarded Fennimore with deep disgust. “Fennimore,” he said, icily, “You have, in the language of the street, spilled the beans. Now will you kindly keep your mouth shut before you scatter them so hopelessly that I can't pick them up.”

“She had to know sometime,” retorted Fennimore, stubbornly, “And it miglu as well be now.”

“She didn’t have to know before I got these electrodes on her arm,” Parsons shot at him, deftly clamping an arm electrode on each wrist of the unresisting girl, who was paying no attention at all to the busy professor. She was regarding Fennimore with contempt.

“Why, you poor simp,” she sneered, “I've told you a dozen times, and I tell you again, that if you had a hundred times the money you have, and if you were a hundred times better looking than you are, I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth. Or any other boob in trousers, either. I've got my work to think of. Do you think I'm going to quit being a chorus girl? Not on your life.”

Parsons snapt on a switch and grinned at the disheartened millionaire. “How’s that for a mouthful, son? he asked, “Think that will hold you for awhile?”

Then the girl turned on him. “And you, Mr. Smart Guy,” she demanded, “How do you expect to change my mind with your foolish old treatments?”

Parsons looked at his trembling meters and smiled. “Easily, my dear," he replied, “Oh, quite so. You see, life itself being of an electrical nature, it obeys the laws which govern electrical phenomena in general. To what extent and by just what means we are hardly in position to say as yet. My own researches have carried me beyond the frontiers in certain directions, and the treatment you are undergoing tonight is just one application of the facts that I have unearthed.

“You young people think that love is a question of good looks, circumstances, and mutual attraction. You have fallen into the common error of mistaking the effect for the cause. No two people will be attracted to each, other to any degree — far from sufficiently to love — if their natures aren’t timed properly for the occurrence of the phenomenon. Take your own case, for example. You told the truth when you said that you would not love Fennimore in a million years. Your rates of vibration were so nearly alike that you were, as I said, like poles of a battery.”

She regarded him thoughtfully. “Then how, Mr. Man,” she asked, “Do you account for the fact that this poor fish is gone on me? Seems to me the rule ought to work both ways to be any good.”

“Bravo, little reasoner,” exclaimed Parsons, admiringly, “You will be the brains of your household. Well, I account for that quite easily. The simple fact is that HE’S NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU AT ALL.”

Fennimore jumped about two feet. The girl looked at the calm scientist in open mouthed amazement. “Say, Parsons, what the— ” burst out the wrathy Fennimore.

“Calm yourself,” came the unperturbed reply, “I know what I’m talking about. Bluntly, you’ve mistaken lust for love. You think you’re in love.

“What I’m doing is just this. By a process which I do not choose to reveal, I am changing the rate, or call it natural period, if you like, at which this girl vibrates. When I have changed it sufficiently you will be as far apart as you were together before. In other words, you will be splendidly positive and negative. Then you will love. You won’t be able to help yourselves.”

Vaguely alarmed at the cool assurance of this man, the girl stirred uneasily in her chair and regarded the quivering meter needles with some apprehension.

Parsons leaned back comfortably against his instrument board and resumed.

“I find that the exact adjustment of these oppositions is quite critical. For maximum manifestation I should have to readjust you to the very cycle. Were I to do that, the attraction would be so violent that you would literally hurl yourselves into each other’s arms. That critical state quite frequently occurs naturally, and when it does you see the conventions hurled ruthlessly aside, and every man-made barrier scaled, be it as high as the mountains or as broad as the sea. Let me get the coldest, most haughty beauty of the upper class into this chair, and I can force her to lavish every attention on the dirtiest ash man you can find in the city.

“It is sufficient that we attain a degree of attraction necessary to arouse domestic instincts and impulses.” He broke off to study gravely the indication of a large meter. “That state we have about reached now,” he said, quietly.

Fennimore started, and regarded the girl intently. For a second she met his gaze. Then her eyes dropt, and she blushed.

Parsons smiled faintly. “I'm a few years ahead of my time, of course,” he said, “Within the next few years every couple that applies for a license to wed will have their vibratory rates taken and the corrections necessary to accomplish true affection made. The divorce evil will be wiped out as mis-mating is prevented.”

He snapt off the switch and deftly removed the electrodes from the girl’s arms. She arose, a trifle unsteadily. Fennimore regarded her anxiously. “How do you feel?” he asked, in some concern.

“A little queer,” she replied, dazed, “You’d better take me home, Roderick.”

Roderick! The young man’s heart pounded within him and a look of exultation came over his features. He faced her squarely. “For the thousand and first time, "Letta,” he said, “Will you marry me?”

Further Thoughts:

"The Love Machine" is an early example of science fiction, published in the regular-science magazine Science and Invention (previously called The Electrical Experimenter). I find it so remarkably similar to a fetish story that I kind of get lost in it; like greeting an old friend (the extremely amateurish overuse of adverbs helps). Wish fulfillment for the scientific man of 1920. What were men scared of in 1920? Flappers, mostly: scandalous, masculine "new women" who were still hot and sexy but eschewed husbands in favor of— le gasp— a career? Dancing? Having casual sex? The whole story I waited for the other shoe to drop, for the plan to go awry, but no. This is a story about lionizing science, about how cool and awesome it is, especially if it lets you bend women to your will!

(These are the same anxieties that would eventually lead to The Stepford Wives. It's very similar, excusing the fact that Stepford is a horror story that knows it's a horror story, unlike this one.)

Wolfe's story firmly reinforces the status quo. It's interesting that the protagonist is a millionaire, despite it having little bearing on the story. It clarifies the function of the story as power fantasy, sharpens its oddly juvenile edge. He's a special little guy and he gets everything he ever wants (which is exactly what the reader wants).

I can't square the tone. Stories like this were considered trash, mere filler or bait to get people to buy magazines. I doubt the author had much time to think about the meaning of his story. And that's what makes me rubber-neck. If I read a fetish story with the exact same tone and plot, I would understand it as implicit that the appeal comes from the taboo, the sheer violation of autonomy that leaves a woman helpless to refuse (an acceptance never written, we already know how it ends) but— is that what's happening here? Was this story, in 1920, taboo? Was it tucking away in the pages of a "masculine" interest magazine something that could not presented anywhere else? Or was this just the status quo— a fantasy akin to soulmate-ism, a world where science makes perfect pairs and there is no more conflict, no more strife, no more chorus girls? Was it supposed to be funny? Was it supposed to be cute?

[issdisgrace]

Can I please have Thomas Hewitt x male reader where the reader is also serial killer?(he was a serial killer before he met Thomas)

🔪

MOVED AWAY

WARNINGS: Talks of bullying. use of the f slur, murder

I met Thomas Brown Hewitt when I started working at the local slaughterhouse. He was a big quiet guy that wore a leather mask covering the bottom half of his face. Because of said mask and his quiet nature, he was frequently made fun of, called names, and made the butt of many jokes. But Thomas was a hard worker. He worked harder than any of the low lives that made fun of him. He was always the first one there and the last one to leave. I admired him from a fair for a while until one day the harassing was just so bad and Thomas was just taking it. It had started since those low lives arrived for work today, and now it was well into the afternoon. It was getting on my last nerve and when they started calling him an inbred faggot, something inside of me snapped. I finally said something and let’s just say some words were exchanged and coupled with the fact Ii was similar in height and stature as Thomas, they backed away, clearly not brave enough to face me like true men.

 From then on, me and Thomas started to become friends and good ones at that. He was much smarter than they had given him credit for. And as I grew to know Thomas more, that burning desire that got me here in this shit town was back again. The only reason why I was in this town in the first place was because my little hobby was discovered, but I manage to avoid police and ended up here. The law didn’t take too kindly to people like me, anyway I guess they just don’t enjoy ridding the earth of scum. God where those people that said all those things to Thomas scum. A couple of them had already “moved away.” But there were still some to go, like David Sinclair, one of the biggest piece of shit that made fun of poor Thomas. He “moved away” a yesterday.

Now with every mostly quiet. Me and Thomas were left in peace for the most part. Our relationship was flourishing. It was nice, so nice that today I asked Thomas if he would like to have dinner with me tomorrow as it was both of our day off. He nodded, and we made it a date. It was around 5 when I started getting dinner ready nothing to fancy, just some steak and potatoes. It was around 5:30 when Thomas arrived. He looked nice. You could tell he cleaned up, and he cleaned up nicely. No doubt by his mother??? Luda May that I have been told much about but yet to get the privilege of meeting. I let him in and we made small talk while we ate.

It was halfway through dinner when a thud is heard, then followed by David bolting out of the room, he moved to down the hallway towards the front door. I quickly get up, not paying attention to Thomas any more, grab one of the steak knives and chase after him. Stabbing him in the back before he was even able to make it off the porch. He screamed as I dragged the knife down his back, cutting him open. I got off of him as he started to bleed to death. I sighed as I stood. This was definitely not how I expected my night to go. I look back to the door way there Thomas standing there watch his eyes flicker from David to me.

“Look, I can explain. Trust me.”

The conversation that followed was quiet, along with one. Starting with why I moved to the town in the first place and my hobby. Then to why David was well kidnapped and now dead to the others that “moved away.” It was hard to tell if Thomas was flattered or not, but he didn’t seem bothered by it at all. Not by the murders and, least of all, not bothered by my feelings for him. It was nice to have confirmation that he felt the same way I do about him. It was refreshing, to say the least. I could tell that this would be the starting of a very long relationship. 

[urangelsiren]

The Benefits of Pretty Priviledge

While many try to convince us that things such as pretty privilege aren't real and don't have any actual benefits, in the society we live in today that is far from the truth. As someone who is considered conventionally "unattractive" to society, I have seen time and time again the ways pretty privilege has benefitted any and everyone that may or may not be conscious of having it. Here are a few things that I've noticed it consist of:

People will automatically treat you way better than if your ugly. It's sad but it's the truth and unfourtanetly people will just be nicer to things that are overall visually more pleasing.

You're valued way more when you're pretty. Is it considered a bit superficial and vain...well yes. After all some of those tik toks aren't lying when they say "the downside of being pretty is that you're always lusted over, never loved" and they aren't entirely wrong. When you're pretty you're automatically seen as some form of sex symbol in some way.

Doors will open much easier for you than if you're ugly. Now yes im aware hardwork is important too but think of a company that's trying to market itself as the most high end company there is. Do you really think they're gonna put just anybody on the advertisements? 9/10 that woman with the long hair and clear skin with a fit body and manicured nails is definitely getting hired before you and that's even if they have any skills. (But if you're pretty with a BRAIN that's a bonus but probably the most dangerous combo ever..I'll make a post on this later)

You will in fact be the center of attention. Your name will be said in places before you even walk in the door. This is because when you're pretty, many and I do mean many will most definitely make assumptions about you. Now whether they're good or bad doesn't matter because at the end of the day, not many would actually say it to your face to begin with (the bad stuff anyway) and second you will realize how insecure a lot of people are when it comes to you through their projection simply because they've already made an assumption about you before even getting to know you. But it's your own beauty that influences that.

People will automatically assume you're confident. You know the saying fake it til you make it? Yea..I've met some very pretty people in my life and just like any other human being they have insecurities of their own you wouldn't even imagine they'd be insecure about. However no one could think something like that because well..you're pretty.

While I don't wanna make this male centered...yall know them movie scenes where a pretty girl bats her little eyelashes and suddenly guys are running to pay for her stuff, be used as a rug for a wet puddle, etc. Some of those aren't exaggeration at all. You would be surprised what someone will do for a pretty girl. I literally saw a tik tok of a girl who got out of being with the cops deadass because she had pretty feet...like literally the cop was slipping over his words and blushing like?? Yea so when you look good be prepared cuz the better you look the further lengths people will go for u.

You will attract people in higher positions. Now this is the part where if you're pretty, boundaries and standards are highly important because if you're pretty you will definitely attract anyone and that includes some people who will put on a facade but are actually terrible asf and dusty. However, when u play cards right you will definitely attract someone like a CEO or millionaire or you'll just attract really good connections and may have better chances at networking.

You have a better chance of being protected vs if you're ugly. Put the guns down but that is a very harsh truth, some people will in fact choose that pretty girl over you in a life or death situation. When you're pretty people can tend to get a little stupid and coo coo for coco puffs. They're not thinking about the situation in itself but more so being known as the person who saved the pretty girl (it sounds far fetched but it really is true).