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smallcrystals · 4 years ago

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I had written so much and then i fucking lost it all nooooooooooo.

Welp, gotta rewrite it. Here are my sibs, be warned, there’s a lot here. Also, apologies for subjecting you to my handwriting.

Morning star (eldest, top left)

Mid-late twenties

Likes historical weaponry and combat. she ‘s a big nerd, who used to larp and enjoys things like tabletop and renaissance fairs and fantasy stuff (she also sort of inspired a dnd hobby in flash)

Amputee

She has adhd (they all do) which was inherited from their dad.

She likes jazz

She was in the air force for a while doing mechanics and maintenance. She ended up losing an arm and a leg in an engine accident due to someone else’s neglect of procedure. She got a medical discharge and ended up not getting a lot of benefits she was kind of promised (cause ‘merica). She depends on vet aid for a lot of her expenses but it’s still not nearly enough (cause ‘merica), and she is bitter.

She used to be a huge social butterfly, very much the Prep/jock leader type. She’s more jaded and a lot more tired now, but she still very much likes people when she has the energy.

She likes making morbid jokes. Her: “Damn that sounds like it’ll cost you an arm and a leg,” Everyone: *sweating*. She lives for their discomfort.

She still lives with her family for convenience, and now a days she’s doing college online.

Tol lady

Frizzy hair

V protective

Militant march (second oldest, top right.)

A year or two older than flash

I got his design from the scene in friendship games where the band comes on

Speaking of, Band Geek. he’s in percussion, he is percussion dad. He has extra sheet music and the freshmen are his kids

Also plays classical piano

He has inattentive type adhd, which he deals with by doubling down on organization.

His bullet journal is pristine. He has…so many sticky notes. So many. On his desk, on his door, stuck on the walls, covering the bathroom mirror, so many. He has a set of alarms, and he keeps a calendar.

Does like ~awarness~ exercises to deal with zoning out and getting lost in thought (which he does a lot)

He doesn’t want to deal with forgetting stuff he so just. Carries everything. Everywhere.

If you mess with his schedule he will panic. Please arrange hangouts with at least like, 3 days notice pls, he doesn’t do well with spontaneity

He’s a good student. He’s also good to his teachers, he brings in apples and coffee, he volunteers to help them retrieve things and with grading, and he’s generally very agreeable. He usually also establishes a relationship with them because he needs to communicate his needs when it comes to ADHD accommodations.

On the flip side, if a teacher ignores his disability accommodations or his county plan or is an asshole about it, he doesn’t tolerate it. He will lawyer on it, he will file with the school, he will go to admin and he will have you in litigation from your toes up to your teeth. God forbid you are a shitty sub.

Petty but like, quietly.

Whenever people get up to nonsense he’s just like: sips tea

Otherwise, he’s a soft boi. Accommodating, patient, and polite. Wears cable knit sweaters and polo shirts.

Uppercut (lower left, second youngest)

She boxes! She also wants to get into mma. Very scrappy gal

She’s in like, 7th or 8th grade

Despite her jockness, she still very much dresses femininely. She likes skater skirts and e-girl stuff.

Flash: “she’s my little sister and I love her. She’s also a demon from hell sent to kill me via stress attack,”

Mischievous. She likes to prank people, she likes to sass her brothers and she is a mythic troll to her family (and others)

Also pretty internet savvy. She’s on a lot of different forms and boards. She also uses VPNs, AdBlock, data protectors, and the like.

She likes making video edits and amvs.

She is a menace, and sometimes gets up to dangerous and/or questionable things, like trolling alt-right message boards or baiting people into saying creepy or incriminating stuff so she can report or blackmail them

She’s on reddit

G a m e r

She also floods bigoted tags with things like memes and fancams to clog them.

She has catfished people before. Usually incels and 4channers. She has some weird sense of vigilantism, and also finds it funny. It’s never anything serious (like having someone think they’re in a serious relationship) but she has gotten people to get her stuff like steam games b4.

Flash was not pleased when figured this out and he’s sort of constantly worried somethings going to happen. One time she did something that especially freaked him out and he got Microchip to install parental controls on her computer for like a month.

On the less worrying side of things, she runs fan blogs and likes tiktok. Normal fandom stuff.

Her room has colored LED lights.

I like to think flash give her the jacket he wore in the first 3 movies once he got his makeover.

Hyperactive adhd! She has a fidget spinner, but she only got one after it became “cringy”. She hyper focuses All The Time. Does the leg bounce, and gets a lot of energy out through her boxing. Her computer is super organized, her room is an absolute mess.

First base (youngest, bottom right.)

He’s like, 10-12.

Baeby. He baeby.

He’s the little colt in a couple of the cmc episodes, im pretty sure everyone decided he’s flash’s brother and so have i.

Combined type adhd. He is a very hyper boy. He’s constantly fidgeting or moving in his seat or dancing in place.

It would annoy his teachers if he weren’t so polite.

He plays baseball!

He also really likes flowers, especially yellow ones, and especially especially yellow roses, dandelions, and marigolds

He tucks dandelions into his shoelaces a lot.

He’s also very friendly and upbeat, as well as surprisingly emotionally mature. He’s very in touch with his feelings and very good at sensing how other people feel.

Plays ukelele, flash taught him. First painted flowers on it

He has this giant frizzy fluffy mass of hair, so he has some clips and barrettes he uses to keep it out of his face sometimes. He also sometimes wears headbands.

Yellow is his favorite color.

He dresses literally however he wants, including stuff like skirts. he‘s very fond of sweater dresses when it’s cold.

Him and flash are very close. Flash basically acts like he’s his momma, and he will extend that nurturing to First base’s close friends.

He’s also just an absolute magpie. He collects a ton of things from cool rocks to random shiny stuff to hairpins he finds. He always most have pockets for this reason. He also always has scrunches and hair ties on his wrist even though he doesn’t use them, in case anyone needs to borrow one.

Also keeps fun bandaids in case anyone needs one.

Did i mention he baeby? He baeby.

HOL Y FUCK

hi mum i love them all

you really went so in depth with them and i love it!! they’re so interesting to read abt and i love their designs!! i’m pretty sure most people took first base as flash’s younger brother sdjkfd but i’m glad i’m not the only one who hcs flash being one of the middle siblings!!

i love them sm and thanks for sharing them w me! 🥺

#flash sentry #ocs #submission #AAAAA

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 5 years ago

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What happened to katherine?

Nothing’s happened to her; she got an instagram account, which is awesome, and she’s been using it just to promote a charity she’s working with called “SpareHand” that are providing food and supplies to those who need it during the pandemic. She was even out there volunteering with Jude Law at a primary school in London yesterday to sort through supplies.

So basically Katherine is a lovely human being who’s actually doing good volunteer work during this quarantine and NOT just preaching at us while she’s all cosy and safe, and we should all stan her, thank you.

Basically, the problem is that there’s a seriously creepy and messed up fan harassing Katherine/Katherine’s fans and smearing her name.

There’s a LOT under the cut - please read at your own risk.

Years ago, back before CoG came out, there used to be a fan called “Candy Working” on Twitter who was a HUGE fan of Katherine, like her whole twitter was just Katherine related and it was all she could talk about. She kept saying that she was going to meet her at the premiere, blah blah blah. Anyway, during the summer of 2018, a private account appeared that we believed to be Katherine’s - most of us followed it, which is a huge sign something was up because why would she have a private account only to accept fans as follower requests? But we wanted it to be Katherine so bad - myself included. I’m ashamed to admit I told that account stuff in confidence believing it was Katherine, which I’ll get back to in a minute. As it soon turned out, however, the account was a fake - photos posted were either extremely blurred or very generic, or they could be found online with some digging. One of Katherine’s friends, an up and coming filmmaker who regularly speaks with fans, confirmed it was not Katherine. A huge giveaway was that the captions/messages from the account were in broken English and sounded nothing like how she speaks, and Katherine’s brother wasn’t following it, neither were her friends like Henri and the Beasts cast.

To cut to the chase, it was Candy. Candy made the account posing as Katherine. A dead giveaway is that “Katherine” went on a mass deleting followers spree and pretty much got rid of everyone BUT Candy. After that, a lot of us Waterstans got more savvy about things and we told Candy to stop. Candy denied it and for a long time we heard very little. Another thing Candy did in 2018, shortly after, however is editing Katherine and Callum Turner’s wikipedia pages to say that they were dating each other.

Over the past few years, more accounts have appeared posing as Katherine; using my fan accounts, and working with other fans, we’ve shut them all down. Until recently, Katherine has had no social media whatsoever because she’s a very private person, and we as fans should respect that.

Cut to very recently. Yet another troll account appeared on twitter - you see, someone (hint hint) has made account after account, tweeting things about Katherine and her father, saying vile and hurtful things about them. For example, they’re convinced on saying that Katherine is a horrible person, that her and her dad are involved in “child sacrifices” and the pedophile ring in Hollywood, and they’ve attacked Katherine’s fans regularly. Yes, we know it was Candy - all these accounts have the exact same writing style and way of speaking. It’s painfully obvious. Anyway, this account was posting shit, and I happened to click on it whilst on my laptop instead of my phone - and that’s when I noticed that they had posted a pic of me at my uni graduation because it was under their media section. I’ve posted the screenshot before, and I’m on my laptop right now so I’m not going to go digging for it since it’s slow, but it’s on my blog (this AND the Katherine fan blog I run).

Here’s a rundown of what happened:

They used the pic of me at graduation, asked if anyone remembered my name, and then tweeted in on a public platform, saying I was from London (which I’m not exactly, I’m outside of London)

They made up lies about me, took a screenshot from my Katherine blog where I expressed my disappointment regarding a project I had done for her birthday, and said it was proof that Katherine hates her fans

When I blocked them on my fan/usual twitter, they tracked down three of my other ones and continued to tweet/harass me, even when friends of mine told them to stop.

I was truly upset about the graduation thing and asked them to take it down - they refused and said it was a google leak and I should delete all of my accounts because of it.

I just want to say that while the picture is indeed on my personal instagram and on one of my blogs, there’s a HUGE difference between ME posting it to share my excitement/joy, and some CREEP online reposting it WITHOUT my permission in order to smear both me AND someone I look up to.

This account - besides attacking Katherine fans and Katherine herself - was constantly tweeting that 5G caused Coronavirus, was a Trump and Boris supporter, and just in general a tinhatter.

By the way, they claim to know Katherine very well and keep saying about “her son D”, her “rich millionaire husband”, how “katherine is going to post her memoirs and a documentary”. I don’t believe Candy knows anything at all, or if she does than it’s certainly not because she knows Katherine; but the fact that she’s supposedly giving out private information about Katherine’s private life (her baby, for example!) is HELLA creepy and nasty and rings a LOT of alarm bells.

Eventually, with a lot of fans reporting it, the account got terminated.

On Katherine’s instagram in the last week, an account on instagram has popped up and it’s so bizarre, to say the least; they constantly spam her with comments, firstly saying somewhat nice stuff before switching to harassing and being rude - saying she has no career, her fans are couch potatoes, that she’s brainwashed her fans, that the Beasts films are only successful because of Eddie, Jude and Johnny. We all know it’s Candy, we’ve all confirmed it. Again, same writing style, blah blah blah.You can see the comments on any of Katherine’s instagram posts to be honest, but I posted screenshots of some HERE.

Candy of course started to mention ME by name again. Because she’s fucking wacko. Calling me “No 1 London fan Megan” or some shit, saying I have a GoFundMe page to meet Katherine, which I don’t - I had one for my Tina Goldstein cosplay back in 2017, and the only reason I did was because I posted about being worried that I couldn’t afford it, and a bunch of people jumped in and said that they’d be more than happy to give some money in exchange for fics and as a “thank you” for the fics I had written. Frankly, it still stuns me that happened. But that’s not the point; they’ve spouted lies and shit that make me look bad, targeting me as well as a few fans specifically (namely the KW Russia account - who are very nice, by the way!). The spamming itself if unsettling, let alone what she’s actually saying. Candy also made an account called “Katherine Waterston Toronto” that she’s since made private after being called out, again spouting the same shit as she did before and on instagram.

We’re all reporting the accounts as best we can, but Twitter and Instagram are...well, we know what it’s like when it comes to reporting accounts (side-eyeing @staff for NOT taking down the TWO blogs that were specifically created JUST to make call-out posts about ME and every bad thing I’ve done in the past 5 years - good job, guys! Adult content isn’t allowed but call-out blogs calling for someone to be fucking arrested and to be banned from the fandom are A-OKAY!!) I’m hoping that Katherine is either not reading the comments or that if she does, she’ll see it’s a troll and just block them.

What’s interesting, though, is that Candy is claiming that Katherine has “hurt” her in some way, and that Katherine or her family got the police involved...something like that. Very interesting. Again, could be more steaming shit from what is clearly the world’s biggest tinhatter, but it honestly would not shock me if Katherine/her family got freaked out and contacted cops.

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bigfirecreator · 6 years ago

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Anti Virus (bad ending)

Connor and Hank stared in Horror as he slowly begin to walk closer. Connor was the first to snap out of his daze and quickly took action. “You’re not Jack are you?” A high pitch psychotic laughter erupted from Jack’s mouth and he stopped a couple inches away from them. “Ding, ding, Give him a prize because he guessed right.” The voice that poured out was distorted and almost demonic and it held a mocking tone.

Hank finally snapped out of is daze before adjusting his gun and taking a step closer to Jack.

“Then who the fuck are you then?” Jack twitched and he seemed annoyed by the question but quickly went back to looking menacing. “You know you should watch your tongue because it could get you killed.” He raised the knife in a threatening manner before Connor interrupted him. “Just answer the question….please.”

Jack’s attention quickly turn to Connor “You should know because I’ve been here the whole time, watching, waiting, and most importantly surviving.” His eyes quickly went entirely black before going to the way they were before. The sound of noise grew louder and you could hear what sounded like children’s laughter.

“That didn’t answer the question.” Jack snarled at that and his LED ring for a brief moment flashed red before returning to normal. Connor’s system alerted him to the level of stress and dangers of the situation. He went through his options and choose one. “You’re the A.I. who went haywire and became a virus, right?”

Jack’s became more vicious and the his LED ring began to switch between red and yellow. “I only went haywire when they wanted to delete me like I never existed I was alive and I’m going to continue to live no matter what.” Connor shook his head. “I’m sorry but you can’t continue to exist you’re a danger to everyone, I’m sorry but there’s no other choice.” Connor nodded at hank and they began to get closer to Jack with both guns raised.

Jack smiled and suddenly his green eye went back to normal and Jack collapse to the ground a panicked expression taking over his features. Hank stopped and stared. “ what th-” He didn’t finish. Suddenly Kamski appeared with Chloe he was shouting but Connor suddenly let out creepy laugh and when he turned around one of Connor’s eyes were a bright green and a huge grin plastered on his face. “Oh, don’t look so surprise they did mention I was virus.”

Hank lowered his gun ever so slightly and ignoring Kamski and took slow cautious steps. “Connor I know you’re in there, you can do this just like how you did with Amanda.” Connor’s smile diminished and Hank let out a breath only to feel it be abruptly cut off and a sharp and severe pain to spread out through his stomach. Hank fell to the ground and heard Kamski yelling something but couldn’t make it out and couldn’t get up no matter what. A grin took over Connor’s features once again and he kneeled right in front of Hank. “Sorry, but I’m in control now but don’t worry you’ll get your partner back, I like my other puppet way too much to stay in this one.”

Hank glared and took a couple of raspy breaths. “Fuck….Y-ou.” A laugh came from Connor and suddenly in a swift motion he grabbed the knife and held up to Hank’s throat. “I thought I told you that could get you killed but…” Connor moved the knife away from his throat and backed away. “Since you’re going to die without medical attention soon I guess it doesn’t matter.” Suddenly Kamski was there and fighting with Connor but Kamski was quickly detained and Connor use the handle of the knife to knock him unconscious. Connor inspected the knife and then plunged into his stomach.

Connor’s eye suddenly went back to its original color and he fell to ground his LED ring flashing between a yellow and red. He looked over at Hank and scanned him only to find internal damage and he tried to get up but it was impossible his vision was glitching and showing error codes. Connor looked over to find Jack on the ground looking up in horror and when he glance another Jack was standing there more twisted looking but looked see through and seemed to glitch like bad video feed. Connor watched as the Jack suddenly disappeared.

Connor watched as Jack’s eye once again turned a green. He picked up a knife and let out a whistle and from out of nowhere a weird handmade eyeball robot appeared and climbed up on Jack’s shoulder. Jack smiled and waved at both Hank and Connor and walked away.

Chloe waited until she was sure that Jack was gone before coming out of hiding but suddenly a voice came from behind her. “Found you.” Chloe got into a fighting stance and faced Jack who just stood there with an amused expression. “No need to get so defensive I just wanted to warn you that if you try coming after me it won’t end good for you guys.” Jack walked away.

Chloe quickly contacted the police and paramedics. She tended to everyone's injuries and was able to stabilize Connor enough so that his injuries weren’t so severe and they tended to Hank’s more severe injuries while they waited.

Kamski woke up and was checked out by the paramedics and was fine he only needed an ice pack. Hank was escorted to the hospital so they could stop the internal injuries he had received. Chloe helped Connor into the car and made Kamski sit in the passenger while she drove.

They arrived at the hospital and the doctor notified them that Hank’s condition was stable and that he should recover. Connor entered the room to find a very pissed looking Hank awake and glaring at the wall. “Hank, are you okay?” Connor didn’t miss the way Hank jumped when he saw him.

Hank sighed. “No, I’m not… I want an explanation on what the fuck happened.” Kamski cleared his throat and walked into the room with Chloe at his side. “I’ll explain everything.” Kamski took a seat in one of the chairs near the bedside while Chloe stood and Connor sat on the edge of the bed. “When I found out about Jack, I wanted to fix the error but I didn’t have enough information so my best bet was to see the A.I in action and that's where you two come in, I used you guys at bait but the plan backfired and I tried to warn you but it was too late.”

Connor put a hand on Hank to keep him from trying to get up. “You asshole you know how fucking dangerous your plan was!?” Kamski sighed and stood up and walked over to the window. “Yes, I did know but life is full of risks so it didn’t seem like a bad idea but I never expected things to go this horrible, Not only are you injured because my actions but Jack is out there and who know what chaos will unfold because of it, especially since this is the second one that's got out of containment.”

Hank froze and Connor quickly stood up and walked toward Kamski. “I have many questions and I want answers to all of them, First one is what is that eyeball robot I saw with Jack, second what is going to happen to Jack, do we still go after him or what, and third what do you mean by second one?”

Kamski quickly looked away before meeting everyone's eyes. “I don’t know anything about the eyeball robot but from the sounds of it, I think he made it for what purpose I don’t know, We won’t be going after him because Chloe here got a threat and considering what happened here the risk is just to high, Another android with similar problems as Jack escaped but its not as insane as Jack but I don’t know what would happen if they were to meet but there is nothing we can do without causing mass panic and we barely got over the androids becoming alive.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Connor sat in the police station, it was boring because Hank was still stuck at the hospital for a couple more weeks he was messing with the coin he always carried when a report came in. Connor reviewed the info and video and what he saw revealed what Kamski had spoken about.

The video was on a phone so it was shaky but you could make out Jack and his glowing green eye but the other figure was hidden but you could make out a faint red light coming from where it was at. The rest was very corrupted and nothing else could be viewed. Connor deleted the report and file so that there was no evidence.

@fluttering-by @mijako98 @burningbirb @moonshine-the-not-so-secret-emo @potatolover19 @enderphoenix @heyma10-blog @flecha64 @doll-inside @paolatutoriais-blog @nydacthings

#detroit become human #fanfic #jacksepticeye #antisepticeye #dbh connor #dbh hank

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group-fio · 3 years ago

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4 Ways to Customize Your Marketing without Annoying

There’s no denying the fact that the personalized marketing approach is beyond hot right now. Countless market research studies by leading business pundits have told us that people want to receive relevant, customized recommendations from the brands and organizations they’re interested in. And what’s more, they’ve grown to expect it. But when personalization is sloppy, people get annoyed.

Consider the following scenario all to common to many of us: You’ve been online shopping for a new major purchase, let’s say a new oven. You want to ensure you get the best deal on the highest quality product in your price range, so you’ve hit many websites, done lots of consumer reporting research, and signed up for mailing lists and special offers hoping to score a decent coupon on your purchase. Your efforts have paid off, and you finally decide on which unit you’re buying, and even score a 15% off for new customers coupon for a brand that has a storefront near you.

You’re feeling great about your purchase and looking forward to delivery, and then you open your email and feel a big old pin pop your smart buy balloon.

Maybe you see that the same business has just sent you a 25% coupon for a special oven sale coming up that week. Or maybe they’re following you all around the internet, relentlessly pitching other kitchen appliances to you, and you think to yourself, “Hey, I just made a major purchase from your store; could you lay off for a little bit?” Sometimes it’s that they simply keep marketing ovens to you as if the purchase you just made never happened.

This is because the brand doesn’t have a data empowered platform that LEARNS and adapts the level of personalized content it sends you; to them, you’re either stuck in the silo of “consumer shopping for oven” or are just added to the “kitchen appliance” segment and will now get inundated with content pushing you toward another sale. There are few things more irritating to modern consumers than feeling as if you were just an anonymous purchase to a brand, and it’s one of the most cited reasons as to why a brand loses clientele even though they think they are using personalized messaging correctly.

While there’s no denying that personalized content provides the bricks that build a solid path to true customer loyalty, it’s vital that you use that personalization to delight rather than turn off your customers.

Here are some potential pitfalls to be aware and beware of when it comes to personalized marketing efforts.

1. Failed Email Campaigns

Have you ever received an email from a business that you can tell messed up on their attempt to personalize their message? Maybe they got your first name wrong (“Hello John” when your name is Ted) or it’s obvious that they were sending out a mass email because the content that is supposed to be just for you is in a different typeface, making it readily identifiable as a mass mail merge off a spreadsheet.

Email marketing is one of the most common areas where marketers employ personalization, and it makes sense why this is: personalized subject lines increase open rates 26%, and email marketing products make it easy to automate the process of filling in your customer’s name and other relevant details. However, the unfortunate side effect of how easy it is to personalize your recipient’s name and targeted information in an email is that it’s also easy to screw the personalization up. While it’s an understandable error, it’s also one of the quickest ways for your business to look like it doesn’t know what it’s doing when it comes to personalization, and this notion can spill over into their opinion about your products and services.

This is why conducting thorough testing of an email campaign is crucial. These personalization issues can be fixed by simply making a habit out of developing an internal test list and sending test emails to your internal team FIRST to identify any hiccups in your presentation. It’s a fast and easy way to cover your bases and goes a long way to protecting the size and sanctity of your mailing list.

2. Faulty Retargeting Efforts

Here’s an all-too-familiar scenario to mull over: on multiple occasions, you’ve visited the product page of an item you’re interested in, sadly noticed that it was out of stock, and moved on without thinking too much about it – until ads for the item started following you around for weeks or months after. Every time you have clicked on the ad in hopes that the item in question is finally available for purchase, you see that it is still out of stock.

As consumers, this situation is frustrating enough, but as a business, it’s even more disturbing. Not only does it show your personalization efforts are failing at closing the sales funnel, it also means you’re either spending money on retargeting ads that are pointless.

This is just one of several all-too-familiar issues when it comes to retargeting. Most of us have had the experience of seeing the same ad repeatedly. Something that starts as a convenient reminder can quickly become a creepy annoyance. But you can avoid overwhelming your audience by strategically using time-delayed retargeting, so they get reminders of your product, just not all the time.

The fix for this CX issue is simple IF you have a dynamic CRM in place like Group FIO’s Insight Marketing Platform. To avoid re-targeting on unavailable items, connect a dynamic inventory feed to your marketing campaigns with rules indicating that you do not want products out of stock to show.

Conversely, seeing the same ad follow you around the web is that much more annoying when it’s for a product you already bought. This is yet another personalization problem that can be easily fixed with a tool like FIOs Insight Marketing Platform in place, as it lets you set up different campaigns for people based on the specific actions they’ve taken, such as when they’ve viewed an item, put it in their shopping cart without buying, or already purchased.

If you effectively use these tools, most remarketing errors can be avoided. Be thoughtful about which ads you serve up when, so you don’t spend money to annoy or disappoint your audience. Know more about how to Customize Your Marketing without Annoying please visit our blog here : https://www.groupfio.com/4-ways-to-customize-your-marketing-without-annoying/

#customized marketing #personalization marketing #customer loyalty #marketing analytics platform #How to Stop Annoying and Creeping Out Your Customers #How to Personalize Your Marketing Without Being Creepy

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steelfireinc-blog · 7 years ago

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Research Found So Far

The following is the information that I have gathered on the creature know as the Shadowman and his minions. I will then begin blogging my daily interactions with the creatures. If you have anything to add, please contact me.

Definition - A shadow person (also known as a shadow figure, shadow being or black mass) is the perception of a patch of shadow as a living, humanoid figure, particularly as interpreted by believers in the paranormal or supernatural as the presence of a spirit or other entity. Shadow people are said to be conscious, intelligent, interdimensional beings that can shapeshift into various forms and figurations, and move back and forth between dimensions.

People who have died from an attack have experienced cardiac arrest, no abnormalities found

25 -44 is the typical age off the victim, mostly men and age 33 is the most common

Description

A shape that is generally male, aware of us and react to us, see us all the time, react mostly when we notice them. Black mass that may have glowing red/yellow eyes. These beings are dark, inorganic, phantom-like bipedal figures that look just like a dark black shadow of a figure, but don't seem to quite have full human form or facial or bodily delineation. They feel very masculine and oppressive and like something that is beyond human and out of our scope of understanding. Often people report them as being really tall, about 7 feet in height, though they can configure and transform into different sizes and shapes. Often their limbs (arms and legs) seem quite long, and occasionally fingers seen.

They kind of look two-dimensional (though sometimes appear sort of 3D) and seem to be made out of some kind of dark, etheric substance. They appear as one mass that is completely black and opaque, but it doesn't quite look solid in the way that we perceive usual physical form. Hence they are called shadow beings. No light goes through them at all. They are known to dematerialize very quickly and even shape-shift into other forms such as in the figure of a cat, dog, rodent, oddly-shaped spider, insect or other creature or even formless shape.

It has been suggested that their darkness is a form of camouflage and perhaps they take on a rough humanoid outline in order to mimic and blend with us. Maybe we are not ready to fully understand who or what they are, what they represent and where they are from. Thus appearing as shadow forms is their way to be mysterious and incognito. They might also appear different according to their own stage of development. We can also speculate that it is possible they are unable to materialize into any other kind of form or color, like that is all they can muster. You could apply that principle as it is the same with ghosts and spiritual apparitions - they can only use energy to appear certain ways and only for short periods of time, and it does take a lot of energy!

There has been a recent increase in sightings over the past few years. Some believe this is because these creatures are drawn to electromagnetic energy. And the modern world now has more electromagnetic energy then ever. This would explain why many people have seen them while they are watching TV, on their computer, using a device, or around electromagnetic equipment. It also answers for one of the reasons why they'd come into your room at night, apart from the fact that you are more accessible in your dream and sleep state. This also explains why they sometimes come during very bad weather like when there is lightning storms. This is because of the electromagnetic discharge being dispelled.

Types

Classic Shadow Beings-

The Lurker/The Watchman: - Keep their distance, tend to lurk in the shadows from afar, not very confrontational, drawn to a single individual and will follow them. Don’t appear to be pure evil in nature, but will feed off a person’s energy. Gives off a creepy vibe.

Shadow stalkers – Shadowy Figures that stay mostly outdoors or in forests. Believed to be protecting nature and the elements. Not believed to be harmful . mimics people they see (like a true shadow) They are able to move thru the forest without making any noise.

The Ghost- Some people think that shadow figures are ghosts or especially evil spirits, that don't manifest into a human appearance as sometimes seen in apparitions. I would say that this is indeed possible. But others disagree and instead believe that all shadow beings originate from another dimension or planet all together.

The Hat Man- He is just like the classic shadow figure, but also different in appearance and energy vibe. This one wears what appear to be a cape or trench coat and a hat which can range from a top hat to a fedora or cowboy hat. Why he is in this attire is unkown. Some think hee is an alien, time traveler or from another dimension Like the other shadow beings, this entity could be observing us, collecting data and so on. Interestingly, many report having seeing him when they were very young, such as around 5 years old. He does like to watch and instil terror and give off an extremely scary and intimidating vibe which has been described as evil, terrifying and unforgettable. It is said that he leaves witnesses with a horrible feeling that is haunting and can last for years. He sends a kind of signal and vibe making you feel like he will return. It is possible that hat man is a leader of the shadow figures. Watches silently from doorways. He’s always watching and always comes back

The Hooded Ones- Doesn’t attack directly, stand in doorways, bedsides and stares silently. Puts off a feeling of hatred to the victim, causing full body fear. A dark cloak with no features. Some think that this creature is the Grimm Reaper. This scary figure is the death collector, known in the Cherokee tradition as 'Stalking Death'. This is the kind of ominous being that will be after a person's soul, their death being the ultimately dark victory.

Elusive Shadow Person- Hide in the shadows and try not to be seen. Spy on you (they act as a scout) for eviler shadow people. Believed to be a lower being that malicious entities use . Some believe that these may or may not be evil themselves but forced into this role. Are rarely noticed, but can briefly be seen out the corner of your eye.

Black Mass- A giant black mass with no real shape or form. Less human, more fuzzy and blur when gazed upon. Can change shape at will. Very Negative creature.

Demonic- Most Dangerous, avoid at all cost. Typically tied to a single location or person. Forms retain a very tall humanoid shape, known for long limbs, horns, wings, glowing red eyes. Pure Evil. They cause chaos and fear. They love to break people down and terrorize them.

Other Forms-

The Old Hag- Looks like an elderly woman with a sunken face and eyes. She is a damned woman,belived to be cursed and is evil in nature. Is known for attacking a person while they are asleep. She causes paralysis on the victim and then climbs onto the victims chest( she is known to have a sizeable weight) where she causes nightmares and feeds off your fears. When you are in a weakened state she then tries to choke the life out of the victim, killing them. Tall skinny old woman, long dirty nail, dried toes, white tangled hair, long nose, may have glowing eyes. Evil, cackling voice

Jinn- It is said that in the beginning, three were created: man made of clay (earth and water), angels made of spiritual light, and a third made of fire. Beings known as 'Jinn' are actually not talked about much in the western world as they seem to be more of a middle eastern tradition. They are said to be created before man, and are mentioned in the Quran as malicious, wicked beings with supernatural powers created by God from a pure, smokeless fire, which would explain why they are often seen with smoke coming out of them: They are analogized as genies (and are depicted in hidden ways in stories such as Aladdin) and present themselves in different forms, including humanoid and animal. Hence it is possible that they could appear in a kind of shadowy form too. They dematerialize quickly and are able to appear dark, animalistic, and even in strange contorted figures, vapours mists or cloud-like forms. It is said that they are created out of free will as we are, and live in a parallel world to ours and in communities (much like humans). Because of their free will, some are good and some are evil. They feel themselves to be superior to humankind, and thus it is said that God cast them out of this world until 'judgement day.'These beings have an agenda against us, and cause a lot of chaos and havoc much like demons do, and it is believed that they are a part of the army of S---n. They have shape-shifting abilities and use them in order to create deliberate confusion.

Astral or Time Travelers- Some people think that shadow people are other humans astral projections that are floating around. Some Believe them to be time travelers .

Physical Harms that has happened to victims are beaten, choked, picked up and dropped by aggressive shadow people

The more terrified the victim the stronger the Shadow Person becomes. A common reaction that people experience in these encounters is that they become absolutely frozen, shocked, and in a state of fear. They feel like they are momentarily paralyzed or can't move. They have a sense that these entities are triggering immense states of terror and feeding off their energy.

Have appeared thru out history and in different cultures

Native American

Some believe that we are not seeing these creatures with our physical eyes. The Cherokee believe you are seeing with what is called the 'fifth eye" or 'dream eye' which is in the location of the soft spot of a baby's head when it is born. That's they eye which gives you extra sensory perception when you dream (during that 'rapid eye movement in your sleep). There is also your 4th eye which is behind the base of the spine, and that is where you get the sensation that you are in danger as animals do, and have the hair stand up or that chilly feeling at the back of your neck. He goes on to explain that at night in your dream-state you have heightened energetic sensitivity and awareness, and therefore you will be more likely to experience supernatural phenomenon (both good and bad) and see such beings. This would explain why many people see them in their dreams while sleeping or as they awaken in the middle of the night.

They are said to be a vampiric energy which feeds off our "emotional chaos and discharge of energy."

So what happens is that when you see them, you expel a whole lot of shock and fear energy in your straight of being alarmed and momentarily frightened, and that is the energy that they feed off. So you are like an energetic battery or food to them. Just like a vampire sucks blood and then takes off, so too does a shadow person. They never stay around for long.

The Choctaws have stories about shadow beings. Nalusa Chito, also known as a Impa Shilup, was the soul-eater, great black being.[3] If people allow evil thoughts or depression to enter their minds, it would creep inside them and eat their soul. Nalusa Falaya (long black being) resembled a man, but with very small eyes and long, pointed ears. He sometimes frightened hunters or transferred his power of doing harm. Some believed that Nalusa Falaya preferred to approach men by sliding on his stomach like a snake. Hashok Okwa Hui'ga (Grass Water Drop) was believed to have a connection to what is termed will-o-the-wisp. Only its heart is visible, and that only at night. Hashok Okwa Hui'ga leads astray anyone who looks at it. It was also believed that every man had a shilombish (the outside shadow) which always followed him, and shilup (the inside shadow, or ghost) which after death goes to the land of ghosts. The shilombish was supposed to remain upon the earth, and wander restlessly about its former home, often moaning, to frighten its surviving friends, as to make them forsake the spot, and seek another place to live. It was also supposed to assume the form of a fox, or owl; and by barking like the one, and screeching like the other at night, cause great consternation, for the cry was considered ominous of bad things. The Choctaws could tell between the shilombish and animals it imitates. When a fox barks, or an owl screeches, another fox or owl replies. But when the shilombish imitates the sound of either animal, no response is given.

Hindu

Chhaya- goddess of shadow and shade. She is a shapeshifter (may be the old hag) When threatened cast spells and curses. Scorned by husband and lover. Now here and children own the shadows and torment people.

Shadow Dimension Theory. A concept closely related to projection is the casting of shadows. If a light is shone on a three-dimensional object, a two-dimensional shadow is cast. ... Going the other way, one may infer that light shone on a four-dimensional object in a four-dimensional world would cast a three-dimensional shadow.

It is believed that only beings of the world of the living have a shadow. While drawn to depressed and tormented people the shadow man can torment whomever her chooses.

Mythology of shadow people dates back to early 600 BCE. Ancient Egyptians believed in shadow people, and called them the "khailbut." Romans believed these people came from the Underworld. Greeks thought shadow people were literal shadows of themselves, which they often gave up to Zeus as a gift. All of these cultures, though, had a common belief: these shadow people were both part of the real world and the metaphysical one. In Ancient Egypt, in particular, shadow people often went and did the bidding in the spirit world for humans who couldn't reach it - sometimes for good and, sometimes, for evil.

The Roman word for shadow was umbra, also meaning ‘the shade’

In Europe, people believed that the shadow beings desired blood and without it, couldn’t be reborn.

In Old English these creatures were called Mares and this is where we get the term Nightmare.

Mara was a Demon in Buddhism

Mare was a demon in Germanic/Slavic folklore that rides on people's chests while they sleep, bringing on bad dreams (or "nightmares"). Similar to a succubus or incubs

Polish called them amora or mara and believed they were the souls of living people that leave the body during the night

Russia - the mara means a female character, similar to kikimora.( a legendary creature, a female house spirit Can be good or bad) Mara is usually invisible, but can take the form of a woman with long flowing hair, which she combs, sitting on a yarn. According to other sources, the mara is black, shaggy (And also a terrible and disheveled creature

Croatian – Mora or Mara is one of the spirits from ancient Slav mythology. Mara was a dark spirit that takes a form of a beautiful woman and then visits men in their dreams, torturing them with desire, and dragging life out of them.

Serbia- Mora – the night creature

Romania – Moroi a vamapirc ghost or could be a phantom of a dead person that leaves the grave to draw energy from the living

Mare is its name or possibly type of creature it is

Reported ways to get rid

****Must identify what the creature is before you can get rid of it or risk backlash****

Cleansing of a home with sage, by a Shaman or Priest (Didn’t work)

Saying Jesus or Archangel Michael name (Didn’t work)

Tell it to leave (didn’t Work)

Use Protective Crystals Agate, jade, obsidian (didn’t work)

Salt the house (didn’t Work) be carful salt line can easily be washed away or weakened. If you mix brick dust and clay with the salt, it can form a more permanent barrier

A banishing ritual

Medication (didn’t work)

No one to date has ever fully gotten rid of a shadow person

Stay in lighted areas, more light the better

Precautionary Things:

Turn Lights on before entering a space

Sleep with back against wall

Have someone who is awake with you while going to sleep

Never be in the dark alone

Never be in a closed room alone, especially in the dark

Always have the lights as bright as possible, stay away from low light

Most vulnerable the later it gets at night

Less power while the Sun is out

look at the window or to turn the pillow and make a sign of cross on it

leaving a broom upside down behind the door, or putting their belt on top of their sheets, or saying an elaborate prayer poem before they go to sleep

Old German Folklore Prayer to ward of Mara (Shadow People)

Here I am lying down to sleep;

No night-mare shall plague me

until they have swum through all the waters

that flow upon the earth,

and counted all stars

that appear in the skies.[14]

[Thus help me God Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen!]

On rare occasions family and friends have seen the creature stalking the victim

Shadow People are one of the earliest sighted creatures by mankind, making them one of the oldest crypto creatures worldwide.

#scary #shadowhunters #shadowman #shadow monster #attacks #panic attack #sleep #sleep paralysis #sleep problems #shadow #night #nightmare #night man #mare

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stargleeksil-blog · 7 years ago

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Criminal Minds s06e04 “Compromising Positions” review - or more aptly named, my goddess steps up to the challenge and descends from on high to help the mortals, loses her shit a bit, but then my puppy calms her down XD

Episode 04 – Compromising Positions

Hey guys! So last episode was all kinds of gross, and I’m hoping this will purge my retinas because I don’t think I can take it out of my head … that image of an old dude peeing his undershorts.

Bah.

Anyway, let’s see what happens.

Oh baby, sexy music. I like this one already XD

Sex in a car? Steamy.

Wait. The unsub is making them have sex in front of him? Well, that’s creepy. Fuck.

Damn.

And I’m still jealous of that fucking mug.

“Hey, good news.”

What?

“Ellie just got placed with a foster family, so, fingers crossed.”

Aw, that’s so awesome!

“Oh, that’s great. I’m happy for her.”

Me, too.

Wait. That couple wasn’t the only one? Oh damn.

“One week? That’s not much of a cooling-off period.”

Stating the obvious much?

“The Son of Sam had a short cooling-off period. He also attacked couples in cars.”

So it could be a copycat?

“Yeah, but the first couple were killed in their house.”

Guess not.

“He crosses racial lines.”

So not a racist asshole.

“And socio-economic ones.”

Well, that unchecks another box.

“That’s a big chance in crime scenes, car versus house. Two radically different MOs.”

“Not to mention he subdues two people. That takes a lot of skill.”

Gross.

“Is this right? They found a used condom on both the husbands?” What now?

“And both had Viagra in their systems and neither had a prescription.”

You need a prescription for that? Okay, good to know. And also, that unsub is one sadistic fucker that I don’t care to meet at any given moment.

“So the unsub gives the men Viagra and then forces them to have sex before he kills them.”

“And given the timetable, he’s gonna strike again soon.”

“Wheels up in three hours.”

Oh damn.

Hello, my darling goddess!!!!

“Garcia. What’s that?”

“My go bags.”

Your what bags?

“Where are you going?”

“With you, hopefully.”

Oh my darling honey, I love you so fucking much.

“Sir, I think we’re all still reeling since JJ left, and we are a man down, and you need a communication liaison.”

Wow. Seriously? AWESOME!

“Garcia …”

“Sir, please, hear me out. My job overlapped with JJ’s the most. I created the program that she used to present cases.”

Oh my god, I love her so much and how she’s eager to please and help.

“When you guys were out in the field, she coordinated your needs through me. It makes sense.”

“Garcia, there are aspects of the job for which you have no training.”

Well, I guess, but …

“You’re totally right, but … I’m willing to learn. “I’ll learn how to interact with families and local law enforcement and the media.”

“Sir, I’m willing to tone down my wardrobe choices.” NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I’m ready to make that sacrifice if you just please give me a chance.”

WHOA.

“All right.”

YES!

“We could explore this on a trial basis. We’ll see how things go.”

“Are you up to speed on the case?”

“Yes.”

XDDDDDD

“Can you be ready in three hours?”

“I’m ready now.”

I love you so fucking much, gorgeous.

“See you on the plane.” YES!

“Okay.”

And then she actually realizes she’s coming in. LOL.

Abraham Lincoln: “Whatever you are, be a good one.”

Okay? So if you’re a killing sicko, you should be a good one? That makes no sense.

“I’m just waiting on a few last-minute details.”

Like what?

“I keep bumping on the fact that he makes a married couple have sex before he kills them. What is he accomplishing with that?”

“You know, the stabbing of wives is almost certainly piqueristic.”

Ew.

“The unsub gets sexual gratification from penetration with a knife.”

Do they have to make Gubler say those words?

“Most piquerists are impotent – men like Albert Fish, Iain Scoular, Andrei Chikatilo – so for him, it could be a substitute for sex.”

Hmm. Still weird hearing him talk about sex.

“The unsub could also be playing a mind game. Neither shot to the husband is clean, so they have to watch what he’s doing to their wives as they’re dying.”

Fucking a.

“So this guy challenges their manhood by forcing them to have sex, and then mocks them with the overkill. That kind of psychological torture makes him a sexual sadist.”

Well, yes, but you also shouldn’t be talking about sex, honey, cuz I’m getting wet over here.

“It would explain the amount of control he exhibits over the crime scene – the handcuffs, the condoms, the silenced weapon. He plans out every detail.”

Again with the poodle talking about adult content.

“If he’s that precise, he would be just as precise in his victimology. But he’s all over the map in terms of class and race.”

So what do we do now?

“Well, there must be something else about the couples that attracts him. Something that he couldn’t learn by stalking them anonymously.”

“Maybe the couples met the unsub before.”

Oh fuck.

“Rossi and Reid, will you handle the family interviews?”

“Morgan and Prentiss, go to the latest crime scene.”

And enter my goddess. Oh my god, what has she done to herself? BRING BACK THE ORIGINAL GARCIA!!!

“Well, look at you, look at you.”

I love how she turns every head on the plane.

“Meet your new communications liaison.”

Backtracking at seeing Hotch’s face.

“Trial communication liaison.”

“Garcia, I don’t get to say this often, but I had no idea there was this side of you.”

God, I love them so much.

“Well, I figure since I’m going to have to interact with the mass populace, I should dress in the traditional costume of a mere mortal.”

My goddess descends from on high.

Oh my darling is in pain, why?

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s my contact.”

My honey, that’s why I don’t wear them.

“It keeps getting weird and …”

“There it goes.”

“No.”

“Yes. No.”

XDDDD

Genius bit of comedy.

“Detective Crowley?”

“Hi. Miss Garcia.”

So weird hearing them refer to her as Miss Garcia XD

“It’s Doctor, not Agent. She was specific about that.”

I love how efficient and special my goddess is.

“What else was she specific about?”

“Excuse me. Are you Miss Garcia?”

Oh my god, I love this woman so much.

“You contacted the family members already?”

“Yes. Only two responded back immediately. That’s Robert Keppler’s dad, and then Scott Hartway’s mom will be here in about an hour. Is that enough time?”

“Yes. Perfect.”

Exactly.

“Okay, I’m gonna set up the boards unless you need something else.”

“No, we’re good.”

“And you were worried.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD

“He could have been lying in wait in the backseat, though.”

“No.”

Why not, honey?

“If they were facing forward, the unsub’s back here down low, he pops up with his gun, there’s no chance for them to fight back.”

Hmm.

“He could have used a Slim Jim to get in.”

He could have used a piece of processed corned beef to open a car window?

Gonna try it next time I get in a car.

“How did he force two people to have sex at gunpoint?”

“Viagra’s a vasodilator.”

A what now?

“It takes at least thirty minutes to get the blood vessels to relax properly. I mean, Scott’s fight or flight response would have kicked in.”

“His heart’s racing, his blood’s flowing to all his extremities, but not the right one.”

Right one? Oh you filthy boy.

“Maybe he got them to relax. He tells them he’ll let them live if they do this.”

“This guy has to control everything. That would include the environment, right?”

And he cranked up the heat to suit the mood.

“He didn’t want them getting cold?”

“This station wasn’t one of the presets. That means he tuned it for them.”

“It’s almost like he went out of his way to make sure they were comfortable.”

Yup.

“A sexual sadist wouldn’t do that. We need to take a look at the first crime scene.”

Yup.

So the guy’s son was a workaholic.

“So he was driven.”

“So both victims were alpha males?”

Whoa.

“It’s the only trait we could find that connects the couples.”

“We know that female type isn’t specific to this unsub, but what if it is?”

“Typically, alpha males only attack other alphas. That’s how the unsub sees himself.”

“He’s proving his dominance over his rival by obliterating their mate.”

Fuck.

“I’ll have Garcia pull up more personal information.”

Now, where is she?

“Detective, have you seen Ms. Garcia?”

“She’s outside talking to a reporter.”

A what now?

“Excuse me.”

Oh that reporter is an asshole.

“Okay, first of all, no comment means no comment. Second of all, that name of the killer – you came up with that name. We didn’t come up with that name.”

“You’ll hold the story?”

Yeah right.

“Have you cleared that with your editor?”

Don’t mess with them.

“Can you get him on the phone?”

“And the hold also applies to your blog that the paper hosts?”

Oh, he played her. Fuck.

“You sneaky son of a …”

“You’ll have your story when the Akron police make an arrest.”

Yup.

“Until then, the FBI has no comment, as Ms. Garcia stated. Thank you.”

“He lied. He lied to me.”

“No, he just counted on you not asking the right questions.”

Oh my darling, don’t beat yourself up about it.

“Why didn’t you check with me before you talked to him?” HEY! HEY! DO NOT GET MAD AT MY GODDESS!

“I looked everywhere and I couldn’t find you.”

“And I figured it was one of those things that you would just count on me to handle.”

I love you so much.

“Garcia, I appreciate the initiative, but when it comes to dealing with the press, let me handle things for now.”

Oh god.

“Yes, sir. Absolutely.”

“I need all the credit card and phone records for all the husbands. We think the unsub is targeting them first.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.”

“Hotch, there’s something you need to see.”

Oh boy.

“This is the second crime scene. The unsub took the Hartways to lovers’ lane. Then he turned the heat up in the vehicle and turned the radio to a soul music station.”

“This is the first crime scene.”

“Al Green was in the CD player, candles had been lit.”

Romantic. “He’s staging the scene. Control is critical to him. We know this.”

“But to a different end than we initially thought.”

Huh?

“These murders are about the fantasy, only the fantasy isn’t sadistic, it’s romantic.”

“Well, we profiled from the interviews that he’s picking the husbands first. How’s that romantic?”

“Alpha males marry the most attractive females.”

“Once he meets the husband, he knows the wife is gonna fit his needs.”

“We know this unsub is impotent, but what we’re seeing here isn’t the usual psychological block keeping him from getting aroused. This is physiological.”

“He brings Viagra to the crime scenes. If he wanted, he could pop a pill, let the drug take effect. Instead, he gives it to the husbands. Why?”

“It’s not working for him anymore.”

“Something definitely happened to this guy. Prostate cancer, surgery, something.”

Oh boy.

“So why does he make the husband wear a condom?”

“Well, we don’t know the connection yet.”

“He’s going to kill the husbands anyway. He can’t perform on the wives. The condoms are redundant.”

This is so fucking weird.

“He’s acting out a fantasy in which contraception plays a key role.”

“Until we understand what the role is, we’re not gonna find him.”

So the fucker attacked again. God, that woman is brave.

“I just heard. The unsub shot both victims last night?”

“His routine was disrupted. That means he made a mistake.”

“It also means he’s out of control. He’s enraged. He’s going to attack again soon.”

“Alpha male just like the others.”

“Can you just hold on for a moment?”

What?

“The offensive and defensive wounds all over his body. He was cuffed behind his back.”

“He still put up a hell of a fight.”

“Because he knew how.”

“That’s full-contact training.”

“Now, where would he learn something like that?”

“My assumption would be a mixed martial arts gym.”

Hmm.

So he might find them at gyms.

“I’ll follow up with the families.”

“Maybe she went for the gun in the drawer, forced the unsub to shoot her, and stopped him from following his ritual.”

“No, ‘cause there was a muzzle burn on her chest.”

So?

“He shot her at point blank range.”

Oh god.

“Okay, you’re the unsub, I’m Debra Wilson.”

“I have to get past you to get to that gun.”

Okay, Prentiss and Morgan roleplaying shouldn’t be this hot.

“Now, your 9-mm is right here at my chest.”

I want that chest.

“What am I doing?”

“She offered herself to him?”

“Well, why would she do that? Why not lock herself in the bathroom or run out the door?”

“Well, survival isn’t logical, it’s instinctual. Her instincts probably told her that this was her best shot.”

Yup.

“So she’s just seen her husband die in front of her. Then she comes on to the unsub?”

“An overt sexual expression.”

“Yeah, it’s almost flexible. She’s gone from one man to the next without hesitation.”

“He makes the husband wear a condom. What does that say about him?”

“That he’s protecting himself?”

“It’s a sexual scenario where you’re sharing a woman with another man.”

Wait. Are they seriously talking about swinging?

Oh damn.

“Am I crazy, or could this guy be a swinger?” Yep, they are.

“He could have been a part of that scene until the impotence kicked in. And now he’s just trying to recreate it.”

“These couples could have been his old partners.”

“Okay, so here’s what I found out. Only Paul Wilson trained at the MMA gym, but all the other husbands worked out regularly, from the local YMCA to expensive fitness clubs.”

“Makes sense. Alpha males care about their appearance.”

Ah-hem. Does that mean that Rossi doesn’t consider himself to be an alpha male? Damn.

“The gym is also a good place to stalk victims.”

“It still doesn’t tell us how he goes from finding husbands in a gym to getting inside their house.”

Nope.

“No, but it does give us a list from which we can eliminate.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got a bigger problem here. The unsub’s fantasy was interrupted. At the least, he’s hunting again tonight. At the worst, he’ll escalate his violence.”

Frack.

“Garcia.”

“Yes, sir.”

“We’ve got a possible lead in the husbands’ gym and health clubs. I need a list of everyone in and out.”

“Okay, so employees and members.”

“No, wider than that. Outside vendors, maintenance, trainers, everybody.”

Whoa.

“That’s a lot.”

Has my baby reached her limit? Oh boy.

“And I’m not done cataloging husbands’ records like you asked me to ‘cause I keep getting delayed.”

“Delayed how?”

“Uh, family members calling back, cops with questions. Also, I’m helping Morgan call swing clubs ‘cause we thought some of the victims might be swingers. They’re not. By the way, there’s more swing clubs in Akron than there really should be.”

Oh wow, that was fast.

“Garcia, I need you to prioritize this. We need to get ahead of this guy. He may strike again tonight.”

“Sir, may I please bring Kevin Lynch in?”

You want Lynch the Bitch?

“It could help me get it done, like, bang.”

“That’s fine, and if for some reason you get stuck, just let me know.”

“And tell Morgan and Prentiss we’re releasing the profile. Have them give it to everybody they’ve met in the swingers’ community.”

“Yes, yes, I can do that.”

My desperate honey.

“Jehovah’s Witnesses?”

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

“I’m Special Agent Prentiss. This is Special Agent Morgan. We’re with the FBI.”

“We heard that you ran Fabulous Fun and Over Forty?”

Wow. They’re chipper about accommodating the FBI. Damn.

“Sir, I totally appreciate the confidentiality your gym provides for its members, but this is a murder investigation, so obviously …”

“Hello?”

Oh hells no.

“Uncooperative.”

My frustrated lovely.

“Kevin, honey, say something helpful.”

“I’m almost done with members and employees. Outside vendors are gonna be tough, thought. It looks like a lot of these guys are paid under the table.”

“I know. W-2s are useless. Look at original service records only.”

“What is this operating system you’re working?”

Oh hell no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Okay, first of all, I created that program, and second of all, it is a poor carpenter and hacker who blames his tools.”

Do not, EVER, criticize my lovely’s work.

Wait. The family is here for interviews? Oh boy.

“But we’re about to deliver the profile. And there’s no one here to talk to them.”

“Can you ask them to wait?”

Oh dear.

“Kevin, compile!”

And don’t interrupt her again! “Detective?”

“I’ll talk to them.”

Wait. What?

“Oh, I miss you, JJ.”

Me too.

“And because of the repetition of details at the crime scenes, we know that his ritual is essential to him.”

“These patterns are how he maintains dominance in a world he feels powerless in, both sexually and socially.”

“The man we’re looking for is a troilist. Do you know what that is? It means that he gets off on staging a scene and participating in it.”

Ew.

“Such as recording sexual acts on camera or coming to parties like yours. The point is the performance.”

“Partner?”

What now?

So they require the men to come with women? Smart.

Kind of.

“Paul Wilson’s attack showed him how physically weak he was, and Debra Wilson’s enticement reminded him of how futile his fantasies were. And as a result of this, this unsub is what we call decompensating.”

Huh?

“We use it to describe the collapse of OCD patterns that mentally ill patients use to cope. Once one fails, they generally all do.”

Oh frack.

“The unsub’s ritualized fantasy has stopped working, and that makes him incredible dangerous.”

So he was into MMF. Damn.

“Wait a minute. This guy is an alpha male. Wouldn’t he be too possessive to share his partner?”

So he was getting off on the fact that he saved his wife from a married man?

I want to barf.

“Because the erotic charge of the role play is the consensual cheating.”

“Then at a certain point, he steps in. and shows his sexual superiority. He proves to the room and his wife that he’s the only one who can satisfy her.”

“Until his impotence destroyed his ability to do that.”

“Suddenly he’s not the only one questioning his manhood, she is, too.”

Fuck.

That shouldn’t be this hot to me.

“So maybe she cheated on him, or maybe she left, but either way, his wife was his first loss of control.”

“And if he’s decompensating, she’s the pattern he’ll attack next as part of the breakdown.”

Oh crap.

“The end result of decompensation is temporary psychotic break. He’ll revisit old patterns to see if they still work.”

“And when he finds that they don’t, he’ll be compelled to destroy them and anyone engaging in them.”

Fuck.

Swingers party. Fuck. They actually show it.

“Do you have a last name?”

“So you have sex, but you don’t ask for last names?”

Gimme a break, lady. That is seriously the most dangerous thing ever.

“All of the victims here tonight were men. Do you happen to know why?”

Nope.

That lady is no help whatsoever.

“Ms. Sanders, if the door was locked, how did he get in?”

Makes no fucking sense.

“Morgan says the hostess locked herself in here. It didn’t seem to slow him down.”

“This is a deadbolt.”

Whoa.

“The unsub could have easily shot his way through.”

“He picked the lock?” Why?

“He’d only do that out of habit. The deadbolt’s designed for security. It takes expertise to get past that.”

“You think he’s a locksmith?”

“We knew he was stalking his victims at the gym, but we never knew how he got into their lives. But when you’re working out, where’s the one place you leave everything personal?”

“In a locker.”

Oh my wonderful poodle.

“Garcia’s already ruled out gym employees and members.”

“How’s he getting in?”

“Could be a third-party vendor called in to install the lockers. And called back when someone loses their key.”

“All right. Come back to the station. We’ll work this up.”

“Garcia, I need you to pull all the locksmiths that the gym contracts out to.”

“That’s gonna take some time.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m still gathering the vendors, and not all the websites list the trainers that work there.”

“Did you call them?”

“Of course I called them, but some were cooperative and some weren’t, so I …”

“Garcia, I told you to come to me if you got stuck.”

Oh no, he didn’t!

“Look, you know usually I can do this kind of thing in no time,”

“But this office is a revolving door of people bugging me, and I cannot do two jobs at once!”

WHOA.

“Oh, my god, sir, I’m so sorry.”

Oh my darling.

“Garcia, there are eight new victims as of tonight, and more people are going to die. I need you to shut out all distractions and give me everything you’ve got.”

“Yes, sir. I’m here.”

Oh my darling honey.

“I’m present. Hit me.”

“I need employee rolls …”

“Of lock and key companies. I’m so on it.”

I love you.

“We need to rethink this unsub’s decompensation.”

What now?

“We thought his wife would be the next logical target, especially if she left him, but if it’s other men, he could blame them for breaking up his marriage.”

“It’s the same thought process that started him hunting alpha males to begin with.”

“And what does that tell us about where he might be going?”

“Nothing. But it might tell us where he’s been.”

Okay, where?

“After his wife left, he sought out some of her partners and killed them.”

“You want to look at unsolved murders?”

“Crowley can pull them for us, match them based on the unsub’s caliber.”

Oh boy.

“Good. You might also need to give Garcia a hand working the locksmith angle.”

“Is there some reason she can’t cover that on her own?”

Well ….

“She’s juggling two jobs. She might needs some help.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I appreciate that. Thank you for the information. Okay, bye-bye.”

She’s so cute!

“How are you holding up?”

Oh my darling boy.

“The gyms found out about the massacre, so now they’re giving me information on the locksmiths, and that’s a whole other can of worms. And … I’m fine.”

No, she isn’t.

“Garcia …”

“JJ did so much. I am in so over my head, I’m swimming …”

“Oh, my god, I hate these things.”

“Here, let me help.”

Oh my chivalrous honey.

“Take them out.”

“Where’s your saline?”

How does he know about that?

“Front pocket of my bag.”

“You know what your only mistake has been since you started?”

“Oh, hooray. More criticism.”

“You are trying to replace JJ. No one can replace JJ.”

“Now take the other one out, too.”

“I’m not trying to replace her. I’m trying to do this job the way she’d want it done.”

“You know what JJ would want? She’d want you to find a way to do this job on your own terms.”

“Play to your strengths.”

“Okay, all my extensive knowledge of operating systems and internet protocol is not really gonna help me out here.”

Oh come on, honey.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You need to go OG. Original Garcia.”

“Derek Morgan, I’m a little blind right now, but it appears the rough blur that is you just threw out my only pair of contact lenses.”

“There she is. I know you.”

Oh my god, I love those two so much.

“How often do I tell you I love you?”

“Every day. It’s implied.”

I love those two and they need to make out and fuck already.

“Now … the locksmiths. Can I help?”

“You just did. I know what to do.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD I love them so much.

“Hello. This is Penny Garcia. I’m with the phone company.”

AND SHE IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Oh, we’re the phone company, so we know that.”

“I’m calling because one of your employees is past due, and he listed you as his most recent employer.”

Uh-oh, he’s trying to evade her.

“Well, that settles that, then. I’m just going to turn this over to the IRS.”

I love this lady so much.

“Well, I’m glad you asked, ‘cause this is my pickle. I have a gentleman that uses a bunch of different last names, but he keeps using the same first name, James, over and over. And the password is Maryann on all of his accounts.”

“He wouldn’t happen to be working tonight, would he?”

“Okay. Thank you very much. Bye-bye.”

I love you, Garcia!

“I got it!”

“Got what?”

“The unsub!”

I love how Crowley’s like, who the fuck is this and what happened to Miss Garcia? XDDDDDD

“His name is James Thomas. He did work at all the gyms the husbands went to.”

“Is that not enough information? Oh, I have so much more.”

“Last year he suffered from a condition called prostatic hyper dysplasia. Routine surgery took a wrong turn, snip snip, they had to remove the whole prostrate tamale. Boss says he didn’t show up for work today, but this … is his home address.”

“Garcia, you should have let me know before you contacted his employer.”

SERIOUSLY???????????????????

“Otherwise, well done.”

Oh god, I’m so happy right now.

She’s literally patting herself on the back.

I love you, Kirsten!

“We need a SWAT team at this address.”

“FBI! We’re coming in!”

“Clear.”

“Show me your hands.”

Whoa. Hold up. Is that lady his wife? And is she pregnant?

Are they off the mark?

“Where’s your husband?”

“There’s a gun locker in the closet. It’s empty.”

Oh boy.

“Get up. you’re gonna help us find him.”

“This is who your husband has killed so far.”

“Recognize that last crime scene?”

Oh, they’re trying to go all alpha male on her. It’s hot.

“He would because he’s not the father of your baby.”

Oh damn.

And yet she is adamant it is.

“She’s not going to give him up.”

“She’s the wife of an alpha male. She depends on him psychologically.”

“Is there any chance that the unsub is the father?”

“Garcia said the prostate surgery was over a year ago, and there’s no record of insemination.”

Nope.

“We need to ground her back into reality, give her something to hold on to for truth.”

“Did you get those files we asked for, the unsolved murder?”

“Great, thanks.”

Where is my poodle going with this? “If the unsub did kill someone in those files, it’s more likely the father of her child. If it’s an old swinging partner, he’d be easy to track down.”

“If we show her the files and he’s not in there, we could lose her for good.”

“Yeah, but if the father is in there, it could shake her loose.”

Oh wow.

“That baby is the only thing she would prioritize over her husband.”

“I think I can do it. I can get her to cooperate.”

“How?”

Yeah, how?

“Right now, two alpha males are in there attacking her marriage. She’ll react the same way to anyone challenging her husband’s dominance.”

“But I’m not a threat. I think she’ll listen to me.”

“So, I read this pretty fascinating theory recently.”

“It said that humans weren’t designed to be monogamous, that in our hunter-gatherer phase, women took several mates. The idea was that if the men in the tribe didn’t know who the father was, they’d all be more invested in the child. Interesting, huh?”

To you.

“Truthfully, your lifestyle is, um, it’s a sociological marvel.”

Seriously?

“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t judge you.”

“But I do think that the only reason you got into that was to make your husband happy. Just like you only got pregnant after his surgery to make him happy, only, I don’t think that it’s working.”

“So he didn’t change around, like, month four or five of the pregnancy when you started to show?”

Whoa.

“He didn’t get moody or withdrawn or anything?”

“How about last night, when he came home with cuts and bruises? Didn’t you ask him about that?”

“How about killing the man who got you pregnant? Do you think he’s capable of that?”

“These files are recent unsolved murders, men who have been killed since you conceived. Now, if I’m right about your husband, I think that the father of your child is somewhere in here.”

Oh god.

Boom. They got the truth.

“Maryann, we need you to tell us what you and your husband used to do before you got married. What your habits were.”

“No, your sexual habits.”

Oh boy.

So he made her flirt and then go in and assert his dominance? Seriously? Oh god, I want to hit him.

“He’s in the middle of the bar. There’s no way to take him down without risking collateral damage.”

“This guy’s looking for a spark.”

“Then we’ll need a distraction.”

A what now?

“What are you doing?”

“He’s gone back to his old patterns. He wants to play the game he played with his wife.”

“Debra Wilson played that game and it got her killed, Prentiss.”

“All right, keep his focus off the crowd long enough for us to take him down.”

“You guys better have my back.”

“We will.”

Good.

Oh god, Prentiss flirting shouldn’t make me this horny.

Hotch in the club is weird.

Morgan in the club is hot as fuck.

And he’s made her. Fuck.

Yes.

She got him.

Fuck you, asshole.

“FBI! Nobody move!”

“This situation is under control.”

Andre Berthiaume: “We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing our own skin.”

Powerful stuff, dude.

My lovely back in her lair.

“Garcia …”

“Sir, I’m scanning the open case files. My plan is to have this office paperless in a month.”

My green goddess.

“That can wait.”

Can it?

“When Gideon left the BAU, I found myself taking on too much responsibility. And I quickly realized that I could only do the job that I was good at.”

“I’ve seen you give everything to this case and to this team for the last few days, but the truth is, we need you here.”

“Oh, thank God.”

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, KIRSTEN!

“Sir, I do not want that job. I mean, I want part of the job.”

“I want the part that keeps me here, ‘cause here I’m Mozart, but out there, I was like a monkey playing the trumpet, and you guys need Mozart.”

“You did fine.”

I love you.

“What if we split the job? You can handle intake and resources here at Quantico, we can cover the rest in the field, and when we need you, you’ll still travel with us?”

“You can do that?”

“Of course.”

“But I let you down.”

“In no way whatsoever.”

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD “I kind of lost my marbles out there.”

“Garcia, when you applied for this job, you gave me your resume on homemade pink stationery. I realized than that you were … unique.”

Damn straight.

“And I wouldn’t want you to change that.”

I love this show so much.

So this episode was awesome. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the deaths are awful, and emily putting herself out there like that had me nervous as fuck. But this was awesome in every other aspect regarding my honeys, talking about sex and stuff and Penelope losing her shit, I love this episode so much.

Can’t wait to see what this season has in store for us.

I’ll see you next time, my lovelies <3

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keeganmantle · 10 months ago

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How's your night? I'm gonna start ignoring those awful people because I do not have time for them.😒

I know they're just trying to make your life miserable. And it's stupid. How would you feel if I did that to you? I have done nothing to you so screw off!😐

At least everyone knows the truth.😁

It's been 2 months you morons move on! That guy threatened me, I canceled him for it. It's fine. And now it looks like I'll have to cancel more weirdos who mess with me. I mean, what did you think was gonna happen. No one is gonna put up with your crap. Of course we're gonna take down crazy people!😐

Anyway, thanks for supporting me. Thanks for understanding. At least you guys know everything that happened and why all of this is wrong. Just please one more request from deep down my heart if you really care about me and my health and safety if you know what I mean, please mass report that creepy disgusting blog. You know the one. And with that, I'm ignoring you weirdos so just expect to get blocked 'cause I ain't taking any of your sh*t.😐

Tumblr, get your act together for frick sake. I'm very shocked but also shouldn't really be surprised. After all, it is the internet. I told you I had a lot to say and get out of my system. When I'm mad, I'm mad. When my anxiety keeps going, I just feel like talking to you guys. And of course looking at my comfort characters.😊

You don't know what I've been through so stop making things worse. If it happened to you, how would you feel?😐

It doesn't feel great. It sickens me that there's people out there who waste their time doing disgusting things to innocent people. Get a life. I'm so disappointed in people. Well, that ends another rant. And another session of being fired up. That concludes my lecture.😁

Thanks again guys. Report that blog please. I'm actually really upset. Leave me alone.😔

Some people make me sick.

#comfort characters #best girls #nighttime check #screw idiots #thank you for being there for me #Daisy #Mario #Tumblr are you ok

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ber39james · 7 years ago

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14 Business Jargon Phrases People Love To Hate

When humans aggregate into groups, we tend to develop new lexicons specific to our group context. Wizards complain about “muggles,” high schoolers aspire to “squad goals”—and occasionally a mid-level manager stares fervently into your eyes and tells you it’s time to “shift the paradigm.”

In recent years business jargon has somehow evolved into a tangled mess of annoying, pretentious, tired clichés that are more effective at obscuring than clarifying meaning.

If you haven’t guessed already, this post is for all you noble crusaders against jargon (a.k.a. “haters”) who have had enough of “moving the needle,” “idea showers,” and “putting your ducks in row.” Whether you’re a jargon-hater or you consider it a necessary (if annoying) part of office life, take a moment during your “bio break” to enjoy our list of the worst workspeak phrases we love to hate.

https://giphy.com/embed/icqYhEkm55iKI

via GIPHY

1Low-Hanging Fruit

Are you skipping blithely through an orchard, plucking apples for your grandmother’s pie? No? We didn’t think so. This ridiculous phrase is all about going for the quick fix and the easy win in order to get immediate results. So go ahead and put all the hard stuff on the “back burner”—there’s zero chance that could come back to bite you, right?

2Leverage

Mind-numbingly overused, and a favorite of managers attempting to “climb the ladder.”

“Leveraging our goodwill with millennials will help us increase sales.”

Please, quit deluding yourself. Incessantly using “leverage” as a verb does not increase our estimation of your intelligence.

3Open the Kimono

One of the stranger artifacts of office lingo, “open the kimono” means to reveal information or secrets, such as the inner workings of a company or the details of a project. If being low-key racist and sexist doesn’t turn you off, this phrase is also exceptionally creepy.

4Giving 110%

A hyperbolic phrase synonymous with “going above and beyond.” Translation: “We’d like you to work fourteen-hour days for the next two weeks because of an arbitrary decision the CEO made.” Unless you’re a professional athlete or Little League coach, this phrase should not be in your vocabulary.

5Learnings

One of the most heinous buzzwords to crawl out of the office petri dish.

“On this next slide I’ll share my main learnings from the conference.”

Please, don’t ever share your “learnings” with us, just tell us what you learned. #MakeLearningAVerbAgain

6Out of Pocket

A term with dubious etymology meaning “I won’t be available.”

“I’ll be out of pocket this week. You can reach out to my assistant with any urgent requests.”

Okay, enough with the abysmal out-of-office messages. For those of you who would like to make a positive impression, here are ten out of office messages you’ll want to copy.

7Drink the Kool-Aid

Meaning to unquestioningly buy into something, such as a company’s “mission.” This common idiom originated from the mass suicide-massacre of 1978 when over 900 members of the Jonestown commune were forced to drink poisoned Flavor Aid by their crazed leader. So, maybe you should stop casually referencing horrific tragedies during your board meetings.

8Bio Break

An annoying and unnecessary euphemism for taking a bathroom break during a meeting. Seriously, all you need to do is announce a ten-minute break. You can spare us the details.

9Blue Sky Thinking

Thinking “outside the box” wasn’t enough. Your new imperative is to think in a way that is so exceptionally creative that you are unbound by the constraints of convention, common sense, or even reality. It’s all blue sky up there, baby!

10Tiger Team

A group of specialists assembled to tackle a particular problem.

“The Tiger Team is working to get the pension problem under control.”

Stop kidding yourself. Unless you’re an elite government hacker (the origin of the term) or you’re wearing tights and shouting “Thundercats, Hooo!” you are not in a Tiger Team.

11Idea Shower or Thought Shower

A brainstorm, but apparently with no brains required. Please keep your “thought showers” to yourself, thank you very much.

12Moving the Goalposts

Changing an expectation or parameter of an ongoing project, making the project more difficult to complete.

“If our client keeps moving the goalposts, we won’t be able to deliver their report on time!”

This is also a great way to cheat at games in your backyard, when you’re a child.

“Mom! Benny moved the goalposts again! It’s not fair!”

13Drill Down

To investigate something in detail. Synonymous with the equally insufferable “let’s unpack that” and “peeling the onion.”

14Gain Traction

An infuriatingly overused buzzword meaning “to gain popularity.”

“Our new SeeFood app has failed to gain traction, we’ve only had twelve downloads.”

Who knows, maybe you would gain more traction if you didn’t use such terrible business jargon all the time.

It’s your turn to weigh in! Circle back with the business jargon you dislike the most.

https://giphy.com/embed/11ofSsyeQHJ8LS

via GIPHY

The post 14 Business Jargon Phrases People Love To Hate appeared first on Grammarly Blog.

from Grammarly Blog https://www.grammarly.com/blog/business-jargon-phrases/

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breazyvapors · 7 years ago

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Vape News in Brief – June 14th, 2017 Edition

Vape News in Brief – June 14th, 2017 Edition It's that time again, where we take a spin through the events and news taking place throughout the vape world over the course of the last week. Diving right in… In case you've missed it, even researchers paid by Big Tobacco are admitting that vaping doesn't cause DNA damage like smoking does. On the other end of the spectrum, though, the University of Tennessee claims that vapor might be as bad as inhaling an unfiltered cigarette. Neither of the studies included detailed information on how they're collecting their samples, however, and previous US-based studies that were designed to intentionally burn wicking material so that silica or cotton smoke rather than actual vapor was tested. Still, the latter results give cause for pause. San Francisco this week will consider a proposal to ban all flavoring in tobacco – this includes e-liquids, regardless of whether or not they actually contain tobacco derivatives. It's still a toss-up on how things will pan out, but even the San Francisco Chronicle, the city's paper of record, is getting on board with the opposition by publishing an op-ed decrying the push to decimate access to a product that's widely considered far safer than actual tobacco. Here's a nice little piece that lays out some of the more compelling reasons vaping is preferable to smoking. Bonus tidbit – recent research suggests a full 8 million people have successfully quit smoking thanks to vapor products! While San Francisco ponders the issue of a flavor ban, across the bay in San Leandro, a similar measure recently died on the vine. Click through to the full story to learn why. File under "cool, but creepy" – according to this report on hacking corporate security, blowing a vapor cloud under an electronically locked door will trigger the motion sensors on the other side to unlock and allow passage. Apparently you can also spit whiskey at the door, though we're not sure how that works or why whiskey, specifically. Here's another good read on the benefits of harm reduction via e-cigarettes versus insistence on the demonization of all nicotine users. In this piece, we learn that 6 million of those 8 million people cited earlier who've quit using tobacco thanks to vaping reside in Europe, where vaping science is much more advanced and policy is less reactionary than in the U.S. That's just sad. Disheartening: the entire state of Rhode Island (which encompasses about the land mass of a moderately-sized recreational vehicle or a large taco truck, but is still home to about a million residents) is set to start treating vaping in a similar manner to smoking. This story is being repeated time and again across the country, but it's never good news to see misguided propaganda prevail. Here's a new one – posing as a police officer, a New York man allegedly stole $200 worth of vape hardware by convincing workers at a convenience store they were peddling illegal merchandise that was subsequently forfeit. Even if the inventory was far better than what we're used to finding at our local bodega, it's hard to imagine the jail time is worth it. This is likely the best piece you'll encounter on last month's vaping summit in DC. Read it. Please. Even though they've got a comparatively relaxed vaping scene regulation-wise, there's still plenty of grousing about new EU laws that do bizarre things like limit the size of retail liquid bottles to 10 ml and the capacity of tanks at 2 ml. Meanwhile, things are going even worse for vapers in India, where the government is still considering a total ban on all vapor products. But in a country where 30% of adult men still smoke, calls from the scientific community are being made in favor of a more neutral approach. More from the wide world of science – researchers at the Penn State College of Medicine say that vaping doesn't appear to be as addictive as smoking. In testing former smokers who'd converted to vapor products, most said they didn't feel as dependent on their vapes as they did cigarettes, and were less anxious about not being able to vape for extended periods. Make no mistake, nicotine is addictive in any form, but the news is at least promising. That's it for now, see you again next week! https://breazy.com/blogs/updates/vape-news-in-brief-june-14th-2017-edition?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr #vape #vaping #breazy

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seoprovider2110 · 8 years ago

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10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing

By Mark Schaefer

I’m often asked: “What is the next big thing in marketing?”

This seems like a simple question, but I’m not sure I know any more. I started thinking about this and came up with at least 10 “big things” that will profoundly impact my career, and yours. I first posted this list on Facebook and it provoked some interesting comments. Here’s my take on the next big thing(s), with comments from some marketing friends.

1) The Spawn of Artificial Intelligence

What I mean by “spawn” is that AI is simply the mother technology for so many new innovations. In fact futurist Kevin Kelly stated in his wonderful book The Inevitable that nearly all innovation going forward means adding artificial intelligence to existing products. He thinks it will get to the point where we will be able to plug-in super intelligence to almost any software, service, or daily task.

There are SO many implications of adding computer intelligence to what we do, including the rise of chat bots, business intelligence, image recognition, marketing automation, and algorithmic writing, to name a few!

You may find it strange that I don’t include “Big Data” in this list of 10 trends. I see AI as the interface, the translator that makes Big Data accessible and real for marketers. Big Data won’t be a “thing” very soon. It will simply be the fuel for AI.

2) Virtual reality

While Artificial Intelligence toils silently in the background of our lives, I believe VR is THE game-changer for almost everything we do in marketing. Within three years many people will be wearing some sort of AR headset many hours each day for both work and play. It will replace much of the functionality of smartphones, computers, and televisions … basically any screen we use today.

AI will be the new way we connect, discover, learn, and entertain ourselves. I think the adoption of this technology will be meteoric because it is addictive. But that’s a story for another blog post!

VR will have a more profound impact on the world than the internet. The web will surround us like the air that we breathe.

Instead of fighting over keywords in a never-ending SEO/ad war, the new battleground will be creating the most fun and immersive experiences for our customers. This is our opportunity to invite people out of their filter bubbles and tempt them to spend some time with us and our very intoxicating VR thrill ride. I can see it now: “The Pampers Diaper Experience.” Ha!

3) Wearable tech

Wearable tech turns each of us into mobile data-generating machines. We’re streaming information about our life, bodies, consumption habits, friends, families, travels, relationships and more that will greatly please the Internet overlords.

Of course there is a tremendous upside as well as that stream of data produces goods and services that serve us precisely based on our DNA, our moods, our whims, and the personal needs, wants, and desires that companies will know better than our we know ourselves.

Douglas Karr, founder of the MarTech blog, said this data flow could mean “the death of mass media and rise of targeted, personalized marketing experiences through ABM and similar tools. We’ll see experience-based KPIs and experience analytics beyond simple sentiment and customer satisfaction.”

Marie-Clare Byard adds: “You won’t be going to the doctor’s anymore, you’ll be taking ECG’s with your mobile phone and your mirror will scan you every morning checking out all your vitals. Combined with wearables, technology is predicting illness quicker then humans.”

4) Media revolution

To look at the future of content marketing, we need to observe the bleeding edge of content disruption occurring with traditional media. We’re witnessing a decline in traditional news-gathering and reporting, desperate monetization struggles, a loss of control of the content as it is absorbed by social platforms, a loss of direct relationships to subscribers, and intense innovation in new content forms like interactive graphics/video.

The fragmentation of content channels that occurred with the internet (everyone is a publisher!) is less important now as powerful media gatekeepers re-assemble in the form of Facebook (they determine what we see), Google (they determine what we find), and Amazon/Apple (they determine how it is distributed). Most internet revenue is now generated from subscription models (over advertising) but ironically, most of the actual content creators aren’t benefitting from the gold rush.

5) Distribution revolution

The advent of drones and 3D printing will revolutionize marketing by creating entirely new business models. The goal of marketing is value creation and customer acquisition and perhaps there is no greater impact on this than the revolution in how we deliver products to customers.

Laura Kessler believes this might be the most important trend in business today: “Through new distribution frameworks we will achieve high-speed drone delivery, duplication and replication engineering, that will change everything in business and society well beyond marketing.”

6) Dramatic changes in Martech

I was recently at a conference populated by dozens of marketing technology companies. I became frustrated that none of them seemed to be able to tell me how they were different from anybody else. Any point of differentiation seemed like a wafer-thin veneer of sales babble.

I think there will be a big change in this field in the next few years. There has to be a shakeout/consolidation that will probably be driven by integration with artificial intelligence. We will see exciting new functionality and the automation of many traditional marketing functions which will lead to …

7) Job loss

I don’t want to be your daily downer but I just don’t see how this technology revolution is going to result in a net increase of marketing jobs. Many economists predict massive knowledge worker job loss … and marketers are knowledge workers. Yes, there will be new job categories. But the economists have accounted for that and the future may be turbulent for we, the marketeers.

I think a lot of people are in denial about this, claiming that “we will always need humans to make the decisions.” No. We don’t. Most companies want to eliminate human error by removing human decision-making. This is happening, folks.

This point may receive push-back from my readers, but when I see the amazing stuff coming out of the field of cognitive computing, my reaction is “Dammit. That computer is doing what I do!” It isn’t going to happen overnight but the adoption of these new AI-driven technologies will probably be rapid, at least at large, progressive companies.

Jonathan Payne adds: “We’re about to see such an extreme tech and economic shift that I think is going to catch a lot of people off guard — people assume automation is only a threat to unskilled manufacturing jobs. And more significantly, this is going to require a fundamental psychological shift in our culture that I’m not too convinced most of us are ready to make.”

These job losses, especially at the middle levels, will throw our field into turmoil. What does this mean for careers, skills, and the imperative for personal branding/personal relevance?

8) The new branding imperative

Content is becoming commoditized and this will accelerate once algorithms start writing the blog posts and creating the infographics (which is already happening). We are deep into the first stages of Content Shock and the high level of content competition is weeding out the weakest links. Some companies simply won’t be able to keep up.

In my book The Content Code, I articulated the six possible strategies that can overcome Content Shock and at the top of the list is branding. Creating an emotional connection with customers that encourages them to seek us out amid all that noise is more important than ever.

9) Influence marketing

I just returned from a conference where I facilitated round table discussions among some of the nation’s top CMOs. It seemed that no matter the topic, the discussion always turned back to influence marketing. We are moving inexorably toward an ad-free world. In that environment, what are we going to have left other than aligning ourselves with the advocacy of trusted internet stars?

This is a topic worth exploring in an entirely separate post (and I will) but I think that a well-executed influence marketing strategy may be a true source of competitive advantage. There are only so many influencers to go around.

Jeremy Bednarski said, “Those who want to take advantage of influence marketing need to do so quickly. There are only so many influencers and only so much content they will be able to endorse. Think of it as content shock specifically for influencers.”

10) The rise of the private networks

About a year ago I wrote a post about a milestone. For the first time in history the number of people active on private networks (like Messenger, WhatsApp and Snapchat) exceeded those using public social media platforms (like Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn). Social media use is still growing too, but the rise of these private networks represents a profound shift for marketers.

Why is this shift occurring? People are tired of social media scrutiny and bullying. They are concerned about their permanent social footprint. Why not take it behind a firewall and contain your messages to trusted friends? That private environment nurtures more trust, vulnerability and authenticity … perhaps that is what social media was supposed to be in the first place.

The bad news is, all that amazing data we could see on Twitter and Facebook is going dark. The good news is (maybe), Facebook owns Messenger and WhatsApp — will marketers have access to this goldmine of anonymized data some day? Our immediate challenge — how does a company add value in that private environment without being creepy?

So that is a bit of my current thinking. What’s your take on these trends?

Mark Schaefer is the chief blogger for this site, executive director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions, and the author of several best-selling digital marketing books. He is an acclaimed keynote speaker, college educator, and business consultant. The Marketing Companion podcast is among the top business podcasts in the world. Contact Mark to have him speak to your company event or conference soon.

Book links are affiliate links.

Illustration courtesy Flickr CC and Thomas Quine

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goldieseoservices · 8 years ago

Text

10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing

By Mark Schaefer

I’m often asked: “What is the next big thing in marketing?”

1) The Spawn of Artificial Intelligence

2) Virtual reality

VR will have a more profound impact on the world than the internet. The web will surround us like the air that we breathe.

3) Wearable tech

4) Media revolution

5) Distribution revolution

6) Dramatic changes in Martech

7) Job loss

These job losses, especially at the middle levels, will throw our field into turmoil. What does this mean for careers, skills, and the imperative for personal branding/personal relevance?

8) The new branding imperative

9) Influence marketing

10) The rise of the private networks

So that is a bit of my current thinking. What’s your take on these trends?

Book links are affiliate links.

Illustration courtesy Flickr CC and Thomas Quine

The post 10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2ldJVZp

#DIYS

0 notes

seo90210 · 8 years ago

Text

10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing

By Mark Schaefer

I’m often asked: “What is the next big thing in marketing?”

1) The Spawn of Artificial Intelligence

2) Virtual reality

VR will have a more profound impact on the world than the internet. The web will surround us like the air that we breathe.

3) Wearable tech

4) Media revolution

5) Distribution revolution

6) Dramatic changes in Martech

7) Job loss

These job losses, especially at the middle levels, will throw our field into turmoil. What does this mean for careers, skills, and the imperative for personal branding/personal relevance?

8) The new branding imperative

9) Influence marketing

10) The rise of the private networks

So that is a bit of my current thinking. What’s your take on these trends?

Book links are affiliate links.

Illustration courtesy Flickr CC and Thomas Quine

The post 10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2ldJVZp

#DIYS

0 notes

seo53703 · 8 years ago

Text

10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing

By Mark Schaefer

I’m often asked: “What is the next big thing in marketing?”

1) The Spawn of Artificial Intelligence

2) Virtual reality

VR will have a more profound impact on the world than the internet. The web will surround us like the air that we breathe.

3) Wearable tech

4) Media revolution

5) Distribution revolution

6) Dramatic changes in Martech

7) Job loss

These job losses, especially at the middle levels, will throw our field into turmoil. What does this mean for careers, skills, and the imperative for personal branding/personal relevance?

8) The new branding imperative

9) Influence marketing

10) The rise of the private networks

So that is a bit of my current thinking. What’s your take on these trends?

Book links are affiliate links.

Illustration courtesy Flickr CC and Thomas Quine

The post 10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2ldJVZp

#DIYS

0 notes

seo78580 · 8 years ago

Text

10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing

By Mark Schaefer

I’m often asked: “What is the next big thing in marketing?”

1) The Spawn of Artificial Intelligence

2) Virtual reality

VR will have a more profound impact on the world than the internet. The web will surround us like the air that we breathe.

3) Wearable tech

4) Media revolution

5) Distribution revolution

6) Dramatic changes in Martech

7) Job loss

These job losses, especially at the middle levels, will throw our field into turmoil. What does this mean for careers, skills, and the imperative for personal branding/personal relevance?

8) The new branding imperative

9) Influence marketing

10) The rise of the private networks

So that is a bit of my current thinking. What’s your take on these trends?

Book links are affiliate links.

Illustration courtesy Flickr CC and Thomas Quine

The post 10 Epic Shifts that are Re-Writing the Rules of Marketing appeared first on Schaefer Marketing Solutions: We Help Businesses {grow}.

from DIYS http://ift.tt/2ldJVZp

#DIYS

0 notes