#please like reblog and comment i need validation <3

[seraphdreams]

SMILE, YOU'RE ON CAMERA. | YUUTA OKKOTSU.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — synopsis. when taking care of your university finances proves troublesome, the universe grants you your very own savior. but it’s gonna cost you.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — cw. smut, college au!yuuta / bimbo reader (obvi), filming, lots of porn references… a lot, virginity loss, praise, oral n fingering, slight obsession, pussydrunk yuuta, unprotected love making, yuuta’s rich and unsettling. mdni <3

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — word count. 5.3k

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 — dolled up! omg, yuuta? i meant to have this out a few weeks ago but got caught in a little writing slump :( nevertheless, here’s to a new year and a new fic! yuuta’s been slowly creeping his way up my favs list , tehe !! as always, please reblog / comment if you enjoyed this , it’ll fill me with joy. thank u ♡

you’re a pornstar.

albeit, an amateur one with heaps to learn regarding the ruthless industry, but the weight still stands.

the details in which you came to the jarring conclusion were muddled with the convoluted steps that it took for you to get there, murky in your bubblegum-filled mind. all you knew was that yuuta okkotsu was a force, a gentle one, to be reckoned with.

it must’ve played out once you returned to your campus dorm beyond the dusk of midnight, under an unmitigating fatigue from the twelve hour waitressing shift just prior. through abhorrent patrons and the lack of a spendable paycheck, the excruciatingly long night barely made you enough money to even think about buying those dollish pumps you’ve been yearning for. how cruel.

in between working and haphazardly handing your earnings over to university fees and textbooks, you just couldn’t seem to make ends meet.

you would curse the day you took it upon yourself to branch away financially from your parents under the guise of growing up, since now it’d be a blessing to have even a cellphone bill paid off. whatever the issue seemed to be, lady luck was truly never bothered enough to be on your side.

fortunately for you, though, it was that same arduous night, you had been huddled against your stuffed animals in bed, mindlessly scrolling through the various social media apps on your phone; switching from sites like instagram and twitter to youtube then right back to instagram all over again, only to be met with an offer dusted in pink glitter that caught your eye as if it were made for you.

“stars needed — will pay upfront.”

it was a shoddy story post, one that could be clicked past and forgotten forever — yet, a brisk reminder of your situation in the form of borrowed, used textbooks with pages missing or vandalized, and today’s horoscope that said to take risks; you did exactly that, aiming a swipe up that would ultimately rid you of the worries of yesterday.

there were no reasons as to why you couldn’t be a star. certainly, you had the face for it, and you were told by multiple charmers that you were beyond beguiling to get anything you could ever ask for. what dismay could possibly unfold from contacting .. yuuta okkotsu .. about his offer?

hm, that’s funny. the name rang familiarity as it seeded in your mind.

must be one of yuuji’s friends.

itadori yuuji, your best friend of three years now. out of all the time you’d spent together, you came to realize that he could get along with anyone, despite their true intentions. he spoke highly of his friends as well, which earned him a sacred spot in your heart that couldn’t be replaced by anyone.

itadori had briefly mentioned in a ramen-fueled frenzy that one of his peers were “so insanely talented” and that you’d definitely get on with him. but when you asked for validity on that vague claim, all yuuji seemed to respond with was a mere “just meet him, you’ll see.”

from your recollection, the acquaintance he was boasting about, as if it was his own personal victory, was none other than your yuuta okkotsu. he was meek, stuck to a close-knit friend group consisting of maki and toge from your physics class, and the one time you ever spoke to him was to ask about yuuji’s whereabouts, to which he responded that he went back to his dorm after gojo-sensei’s lecture.

he seemed, normal. average, even. that surely had to be the case since your memory was hazy on his being otherwise.

it was true, though, yuuta was gifted. in a way that transcended words, skillful towards visual aesthetics, and careful with the craft. he would spend most of his freetime fumbling with a camera or recording the works of the mundane. overtly, he’d grown such a strong passion in the field of videography in hopes to capture the reality of humanity, the authenticity within intimacy — what could he possibly need a “star” for?

shadiness aside, you were in a tough spot, willing to do whatever to free yourself from the financial burden that was jujutsu technical university. with a swift swipe in tandem with the soft tapping of the pads of your thumbs on the keyboard, you were taking yuuta up on his offer.

within seconds, he responded back with his address and an appropriate meet-up date to start the project.

if only you were aware of how drastically your life would change from here on out.

a cluster of days had passed since you last got into contact with yuuta. he had told you to meet him at his place, claiming it would be more efficient than traveling to an unnamed destination with pounds of heavy photography equipment.

where you stood currently, was in front of the bare oak of his front door, hand wrapped in a loose fist as you knocked gently on the wood. a quick moment had passed by before you took initiative to raise your fist and knock once more. before your touch could meet the wood, a muffled “coming!” chimed beyond the door. from what you had heard on the other side; the scuttling behind the door and jingle of the lock, yuuta had opened the door soon after.

with his hand rubbing away the goosebumps that stood at the back of his neck, he beamed. cordially, warmly.

“you’re actually here. hi,”

upon first glance, yuuta had a distinct look. he stood tall, not tall enough to matter or incite intimidation, and although he wore a black button-up (a bit formal for an occasion as casual as today), his lean build shone through under the thin fabric, ripples of veins dancing up his forearms. what you couldn’t miss, however, were the grey eyebags under his emotionless navy orbs, as if he’d forgone weeks of sleep.

yuuta okkotsu was unsettling.

“hi,” your voice sounded as a sweet croon, dulcet enough that you could barely hear it yourself as it escaped in a breathy breeze. his smile grew softer in response, that monotonous gaze in his eyes fizzling away into something of serenity. “come in, please,” yuuta held the door open wider for you to tread past, caught up in observing the bunch of fabric that hugged tightly around your ass, then closed it gently behind you once you stepped completely inside. he silently cursed at himself for ogling — he truly didn’t mean to stare. you’re just a lot prettier up close. “i was just getting set up. you can have a seat if you’d like.”

as you’d expect from any guy your age, his place wasn’t much to gaze at, nor did it have much personality. in a corner to your right was a houseplant, that of the fern variety, and a few steps deeper into the abode was the living room, where yuuta resumed his fumbling with the transfiguration of his tripod.

you decided to sit on the couch across from him, taking in the bleak sight of his home. you would have almost believed it was unlived in had it not been for the scattered midterm review papers decorating his coffee table. it was obvious he had money from the endless rows of space that surrounded the two of you, although a candle or something would be nice.

he peered away from his tripod to look through the viewfinder of his camera, ensuring that the lens was functioning properly. he grew pleased to see the image of you distracted in fiddling with your thumbs reflected back at him. “are you nervous?” his gaze fell upon you through his own eyes, a concerned expression harboring his features.

you were pulled out of your muse of unfamiliarity to direct your attention to the sound of his mild voice, returning a smile to his that eased the worriment trapped behind dull, blue eyes. “n-not really, i don’t think.”

his lips curled up once more at that, in fact there wasn’t a time so far that you hadn’t noticed him without his signature smile. “here, let me help with that,” reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone, tapping away at the screen before ultimately turning it back off and settling it back into its place in his pocket.

your phone vibrated beside you, screen lighting up with a bold alert.

[YUUTA OKKOTSU SENT $1000]

before you had a chance to even process the significance of the notification, he started back up,

“i hope i got the right information, wouldn’t want your hard work to get in the wrong hands.” the tilt of his head in tandem with a chuckle resonated sheepishly, and he returned to watch you through his camera lens.

he was right. the money did soothe your nerves.

“i’ve barely done anything yet.” a ditzy giggle followed soon after your sentence, a sound that yuuta couldn’t possibly ignore. you were already starting to pull at his heartstrings.

“and you’ve done it so perfectly,” his praise left you flustered in that moment and you bit down softly on your lower lip to keep your smile at bay. “thank you, yuuta.”

you would’ve never guessed that your introverted classmate had enough experience in him to be such a flirt, or have your cheeks heating up with fervid affection, no less. but maybe yuuta was just like that; maybe this had been natural.

“no, thank you.” his thumb hovered over the record button just as his eyes met your gaze over the brim of the camera. “would you like to start now?”

he took the nod of your head as confirmation to press the record button, finally getting started with the project.

you blinked blankly at him as he tilted his head and flashed a warmhearted grin. “how old are you?” was his first question. he had asked while rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. as he did so, you took notice of the silver ring donned around his finger.

he couldn’t have been married, no?

keeping your answer as vague as possible for the sake of matching his comforting warmth, you responded, “twenty-something.” he let out a satisfied huff of air as he nodded and moved onto his next query.

“and what’s your major?”

with the question barely having enough time to linger in the suggestively tense air, he added, “you’re very beautiful, by the way. do you mind taking your dress off for me?”

as much as it should’ve alarmed you, you were swayed by his toothachingly inviting timbre, its gentleness pulling compliancy from you in a matter of a few mere words. you only shook your head, forgoing the short piece of fabric that clung to each curve and dip of your body while your nipples hardened under the glacial, artificial breeze of his home. once the silk pooled at your hips, that, along with your panties were dropped onto the floor, leaving you bare and vulnerable under the camera — and yuuta’s watchful eye.

he swallowed thickly at the sight, remaining as respectful as he could despite the monster growing in his pants; his eyes locked right back onto yours as if he’d get striked down for moving them even a millimeter south. “are you a virgin?” he queried, opting to move his hand from awkwardly at his side to fidgeting with the button at his shirt, ultimately undoing it and revealing another inch of skin at his heated chest.

from the nature of what you had signed yourself up for, you were hesitant to answer his question. of course you needed experience to be a star, and with you lacking the preconceived ability, you could kiss your $1000 goodbye..

yet he looked at you with an expectant gaze. no traces of malice in his eyes or frustration from your quick witted silence, but merely, with patience. and in that moment you couldn’t find it within yourself to lie.

“i am,” out of shame, you curled in on yourself, hoping that the sofa would engulf you, and your feelings, crossing your arms over your bare chest as if it’d create a wall of privacy behind your own humiliation. “is that okay?”

yuuta’s being only grew warmer at the response, you figured he’d be hot to the touch by now, from searing pleasure or unshakeable cordiality, you wouldn’t know. “yeah, that’s okay,” it came out breathier than he would’ve liked, a telltale sign of his aching desire. “that’s more than okay.”

truth be told, he had never met anyone as enchanting as you. you looked up at him with such trust in your eyes that it daunted him — fear that the assurance he wielded from you would shatter beneath him, and he’d be drowning. in a sea of his own wistfulness. now that he had you, he couldn’t let you go.

you were on to make a breathtaking star.

now feeling less coy than before, you relaxed your head into the palm of yuuta’s hand. you hadn’t noticed how long he’d been stroking at your cheek, or when he closed the vexing proximity between the two of you, all that mattered in that moment was the roll of his gentle vocables flowing through your ears and the thumb of his that graciously caressed your cheek.

you came to realize that he was much more handsome this way as your eyes toured his own, then down to the sliver of sweat-sheened skin peeking from underneath the black veil of his shirt, then down to his…

he’s so fucking hard.

confined against his slacks was his cock that leaked an ample amount even while it was untouched. you could make out its silhouette, something girthy, perhaps heavy, but nothing like you’d expect from yuuta. uncharacteristically huge.

“yuuta.” you whispered, mainly to yourself, as your mouth began to water at the sight, and his cheeks dusted pink once he realized what you were fixated upon.

“do you wanna,” he started up but faltered soon after when your lidded gaze flitted back up towards his. never had he felt so weak before, it was as if you’d casted a spell on him. “do you maybe want to—” he paused to avert his own gaze and embarrassment. “—put it in your mouth?”

he could’ve sworn he heard the increase of his heartbeat in his ears when you crinkled your brows, pretty face forming into an even prettier pout.

“but i’ve never—”

he stopped you before you could start, interjecting his own voice of reassurance.

“it’s okay. i’ll guide you,” taking his camera off its stand and moving the rest of the configuration elsewhere, he held it in one hand to better capture the scene unfolding before him. “just try your best for me, okay?”

“okay.” when he returned your concern with a small smile, you took it upon yourself to undo the arrangement of his pants, carefully hooking your finger into the elastic waistband of his briefs and pulling down just enough for his length to spring free.

for what felt like minutes, you marveled at his sheer size, wondering how anyone of his nature could possibly be hiding something like that. it curved upwards with a prominent vein or two running up the underside while it continued to leak, so much so, that you had to collect it all at the tip with your finger.

the tip? flushed the prettiest pink you’d ever witnessed and was as bulbous as it was mushroomed, you knew you’d have a bit of difficulty trying to fit into your mouth. it seemed to twitch under the fanning of your breath to which yuuta let out a whine of pure impatience.

“can i..?” your words trailed off when you involuntarily found yourself pressing chaste kisses along the length of his cock until they met with his sticky tip; a recreated scene from the various porn videos you’d seen. the sensation sent a jolt of palpable pleasure through his being, yuuta’s dark hair curtaining over his eyes while he made a damn good attempt at silencing his moans, with his teeth sunken into his bottom lip.

your eyes kept watch at his wavering expression while you wrapped your hand at the base of his length and began to pump slowly, yet another thing you had learned through the fascinating world of porn.

“suck it,” it was clear to you that yuuta had grown desirously impatient from your teasing, looking down at you with a hint of hunger in his beautiful orbs. “please?”

you took his words as an incentive to finally give him what he’s been leaking for, wrapping gloss-sheened lips around the thick inches of his tip, accommodating for the stretch with a dulcet whine that reverberated deeply within him. had you not been caught up in building the gradual bob of your head, he would’ve kissed you, left you with smeared lips and a tongue that ached for only him upon seeing the sinful sight of innocent eyes fixated on his own. you’re beautiful. truly, to die for.

caught all on tape to be watched over and over again.

at the bliss, yuuta’s lip parted open, alotting for a slur of groans turned whimpers to tumble past. “you- you’re already doing, so good.” he praises, the words floating on his breath. his free hand finds itself back at your face, thumbing the warmth of your hallowed cheek while he captured the moment behind his lens. once you came to a comfortable rhythm, you couldn’t stop yourself from dipping your fingers between your thighs to ease the evergrowing ache in your core. in fact, you’d been like this since the moment yuuta spoke a word to you, lightheaded and malleable — what he’s beginning to love most about you.

your digits collected slick at your entrance, the immeasurable amount of essence that you’d pool providing ample leeway for you to sink three fingers inside, pumping at the same rhythm in which you’re sucking yuuta. soft fingertips curling against your gummy walls weren’t enough, though, and when he had caught notice of your weakening resolve, his hips involuntarily bucked into your mouth.

“sorry, ‘m sorry,” he began, with a choked moan. “just- so close, so fucking close. c-can you take me in deeper?”

the hum of assurance that sounded from you sent vibrations coursing through his cock, from tip to base. had you not been preoccupied with chasing your own high, you would’ve missed the pitchy moan he let out just after. with your palm now pressed up against your clit while you worked in tandem to pleasure the nub and your greedy hole, you attempted to swallow another stubborn inch of him.

simultaneous with the bobbing of your head, he matched your pace, abdomen flexing when the white-hot pleasure became too much and he could feel it in his ears. he wanted so badly to throw his head back, completely lose himself in bliss, but he had a job to do. he wouldn’t dare let the sight of your glassy lidded eyes and glossy lips struggling to wrap themselves around the stretch of his dick go unfilmed, unseen.

as his tip continued to prod the back of your throat and your fingers aided you in relieving the discomfort from your cunt, you found yourself just dangling off the dangerous edge of your release, strokes away from making a mess — and yuuta did too.

it wasn’t long until his head started spinning, legs got weaker, and his core coiled tighter; all the signs of a mindblowing orgasm, and blew his mind, you did. “baby- y/n, if you keep doing that- i might cum.” what he was referring to was the way you fondled his balls in the warmth of your soft hands, yet another trick you had learned from porn. “i don’t wanna cum in your mouth but if you—,”

a jumbled slew of curses flowed from his lips as he did the inevitable, shot his load deep down your throat, gently thrusting his cock in shallow strokes to jettison every last remaining drop. the taste on your tongue was nothing like you’d be warned of before. yuuta wasn’t bitter, he went down easy.

hell, you’d use his cum as a condiment for desserts if you could.

in a matter of moments, your own high had washed over you like cold water over a heated body, much needed and refreshing. once he hesitantly pulled out from the heat of your mouth, cock still hard and twitching for more, he gently pushed back strands of loose hair behind your ear.

“can i see?”

you held out your cream-slickened fingers, sopping with your juices as yuuta proceeded to catch how they dripped on camera. he then took your palm, with the cadence of a knight kissing the back of a princess’s hand, and slipped the soiled digits into his mouth. his tongue lavved around your index and middle fingers while he hummed satisfactorily at your taste. “you’re just as sweet as i imagined.” he smiled, finding amusement in your post-orgasmic, dazed state.

“do you do this with a lot of other girls, yuuta?” you queried, taking the time to scan your eyes over his face. it was as if he seemed to get more attractive as your time with him went on. he tilted his head slightly, finding your question endearing. “you’re my first, actually.” yuuta responded softly, as if his normal speaking voice would be too heavy on your delicate ears.

you jumped at the chance to tease him as he did you, placing your thumb back over the slit of his hard-on and lightly rubbing; which resonated within yuuta as a tonal mewl. a little smile pulled at your lips when you got your perfect reaction. “can you be my first?”

“i’d love to be,” he took your request with unadulterated honor as if he’d been tasked by the deities above to serve you. “just- just lay back for me. i promise i’ll take good care of you.”

and that you did; conforming to his call of request with such compliance it made his heart swell. you had positioned your body to rest languidly against the seat of the sofa, shaky legs hesitant to spread fully while your hand roamed up your sternum to find solace in kneading your tits.

he couldn’t deny how beautiful you looked, laid out for him as such. how had he been so lucky to be the only one to have the opportunity to marvel at the scene? with a steady hand, he faintly trails his hand up the expanse of your inner thigh, a silent beckon for you to open your legs wider. involuntarily so, your body had accepted his presence and allowed for the spreading of your thighs.

what you’d come to notice with yuuta was that he was watchful, observant. he seemed to pick up on every detail, even the minuscule bits that were most likely to fly over anyone else’s head, had been taken into account. it’s probably why he’s immensely proficient at what he does. not once had he allowed himself to miss the labored heaving of your chest, or the sheen of sweat thinly coating your body — the twitching of your clit when he stroked featherlight touches at the nub. he couldn’t call himself a true cameraman then.

his fingers had collected remnants of your previous orgasm before they worked in tandem, both middle and ring, to prod at your sensitive hole, slowly sinking themselves in. it was almost embarrassing how quickly your greedy cunt swallowed him in, as if it’d been waiting for his touch for years now. “y-yuuta, ‘m still sensitive.” you crooned in response to his digits exploring your cavern, plush walls gripping him with such tautness that he’d found it difficult to even curl his fingers.

his own mind spun (and cock leaked) at the thought of that same warmth around his length, and when you called his name, all he could think about was how pretty you’d sound moaning it. he wouldn’t mind if you were sonorous, if the neighbors would hear, if inumaki who lived downstairs would come knocking with a mouthful of complaints, if the whole world knew his name; because in that moment, yuuta okkotsu was yours.

yuuta okkotsu was in love.

after some shallow pumping, enough to have your legs attempting to enclose around his arm, yuuta had pulled his digits out and replaced the lost sensation with the fat tip of his cock stroking your slit up and down.

“i’m gonna put it in, okay? if you want me to stop, tell me. if i'm going too fast or slow, let me know.”

he perused your face for a hint of an answer, seemingly nothing going on behind your vacant, large eyes. your initial response was curt, an ode to the simplistic nature of your mind. “mhm.”

how endearing you were to him, just a unadorned reaction weakening his being, causing his heart to figuratively crumble within its confines against his ribcage. he had searched for a heartier answer, something tangible to hold on to, because, lord knows how terrible he’d feel if he took your indication the wrong way. “can you be vocal for me, please?”

you nodded your head. “i’ll let you know, yuuta.”

with a carefulness that only came from the most benign of beings, he had sunken the first inch of himself into your awaiting heat.

he was paused when your hand dashed to his lower abdomen, futilely pressing against the skin.

“wait—” you huffed wantonly. “—‘s too big.”

his eyes wavered with concern, hidden under the veil of pure arousal. in yuuta’s case he had dreamed of a compliment as self fulfilling as yours, for his thoughts of being average were shattered upon first inch. “should i stop?”

you shook your head, reveling in the light of his attentivity towards you and your body. “no,” you moved your hand from his abdomen. “don’t stop.”

one of his arms rested beside your head, helping to prop him up over your body while he dropped his head down to watch the way your bodies connected. gradually, the sight of his length slowly sinking inside, stretching you out further and further until he was in to the hilt flooded his vision. yuuta had caught on to your labored gasps, merely growing harder from your honeyed voice like music to his ears.

he then lifted his head, strands of inky, out-of-place tresses falling over his face and partially covering the depth of lingering eyes, that lingered for a second too long, causing that shuddering sensation you had once felt when you first met him to reappear. he held his camcorder beside his face, an all too cheerful grin masked over his features. “i’m all in!”

creepy.

there was no doubt that you hadn’t felt full. he practically spilled over with how much girth he possessed and throbbed innately within your walls. the swell of your tummy from just how deep he was, was enough to tear away at his composure and drag his length back before driving his hips in at a force unrecognizable to him. the yelp you had let out from his eager thrust dwindled into a blissful moan. “sorry, so sorry.” he whispered, unable to take his eyes off the faultless assortment of breathtaking features that was your face, eyebrows creased together, parted lips and eyes squeezed closed as if you’d been focused solely on the pleasure he was giving you.

his next thrust stroked softer than its predecessor, having no remnants of eagerness but instead, the nuance of a man that’d been simply smitten.

the meticulousness of his ministrations coursed through your body wondrously, each push and pull lathered in lust, savored to be remembered for the rest of his time on earth. it was as if he’d known your body for years, knew every dip and fold, every swell and mast, aware of what exactly it took to leave your body hungry for his touches.

you’d grown comfortable in the pace at which he set, your mind hazing over each time the blunt tip grazed along your gspot. he peppered kisses along your jaw and down your sternum, the fanning of his warm breath against your chest doing the minimum in stiffening the peaks of your breasts. shootable footage forgotten, yuuta took your mound into his mouth, teeth gently rolling against your nipple which caused you to tighten around his cock in response, the sweetest mewl he’s ever heard from you tumbling from your throat.

“at least take me on a date first, yuuta..” the wittiness of your voice had earned a stifled smile from him, finding utmost admiration in the suggestion. he’ll be sure to take you up on your offer, just as you had done for him.

when you felt the familiar coil within you starting to build up once more, you dipped your hand down to rub at your clit in tandem with the increasing vigor of his strokes. the sensation was all too foreign to you, too pleasurable that you couldn’t keep your sounds at bay. “‘m so close, g-gonna cum!” you had warned, yuuta pulled away from your tit with a soft pop. he chose to rest his head at the juncture of your neck and shoulder, mindlessly chanting the words like a mantra.

“i love you, i love you,” his pace faltered, growing sloppier by the second. “love you, love you so much.”

intoxicated by your heat, your scent, just you being you, and being so perfect — yuuta was pussydrunk. incredibly so. never in his life had he ever felt as high as you made him. you were an angel, sent to him from heaven, to defile and mark.

quickly, your release surged through you in torrents of ecstasy, nothing that you’ve experienced before, coating yuuta’s cock in the glorious essence of you. “cumming!” you cry, to no avail particularly since yuuta wasn’t wholeheartedly aware of the situation at hand. his mind was clouded with you, just as you were full of him, wincing in the aftershocks of your fervent orgasm and convulsing around his length with need.

it wasn’t long before his own ununified thrusts came to a sudden close, signifying the warm spurts of cum painting your insides, filling you entirely to the brim and leaking down your ass from riding out his high.

“god, i love you.” he whined, pressing faint kisses to your neck, unable to peel himself away from your fervid body. coming to your senses, his words finally resonated for you. “we only just met.”

he pulled himself up, opting to look down at your flushed face with a vague hint of confusion on his face as he tilted his head. “have we?”

“we have.” you nodded.

to yuuta, he’s known you his whole life. you were the light of his existence, the fire in his heart. had he managed to confuse you with someone else? surely, that wasn’t the case.

once he pulled out of you, he made sure to capture the moment that you leaked his seed on film, but in that time, borrowed jealousy had filled his soul. he couldn’t share the tape as he had planned, no one else deserved to see you in the same way he did. no one.

he tucked himself back into his pants, leaving you bare and oozing for just one second to fetch a warm wet rag to clean you up with. when he came back, you noticed just how chipper he’d gotten, if that were even possible. “you were amazing,” he smiled, gently wiping your folds pristine. “i’m so grateful you came to me.” the smile you returned matched his own, “thank you, you were- really good too.”

he perked up, eyes moving from between your thighs to your face. “really?” and when you nodded to him, you could see the apparent relief flow within his being. “you know,” he started. “i’m very interested in you.”

you tilt your head, jutting your lips in a cute pout. “interested, how?”

the camcorder that now resided on his coffee table, unpresumebly documenting the scene on display was picked up by yuuta, and turned off. he grinned softly, eyes shutting from his ear to ear smile.

“may i take you on a date?”

[strang3lov3]

For Science

Soft!Joel Miller x Fem Reader

Summary: Joel’s heart breaks at your misery when you’re on your period, so he does what he can to alleviate your pain. 

Warnings: Fluff, smut, blowjobs, fingering, awkward Joel and Reader, period cramps, period sex, unprotected PIV. sweet sweet joel. Mutual pining

W/C: 4k

A/N: For all the menstruating Joel girlies, this one’s for you. And me too, because this shit fucking sucks. Admittedly this is very self indulgent. This isn't my favorite fic, but I hope you guys like it anyway. I feel like it's devoid of a lot of typical period fic tropes so I am unsure if y'all will enjoy. Have a great weekend!

btw, send me an ask or comment if you aren't tagged and would like to be! mwah kisses love you all <3

masterlist

as always, please leave me a comment or reblog if you liked the story! i am desperately in need of validation

Knock knock knock. “You okay in there? Haven’t seen you at all today, honey,” Joel asks as your door swings open slightly. His brows are knit together and his soft eyes are big and worrisome.

Joel hates seeing you like this. You’re huddled with your knees curled into your chest on your bed, trying to will away the pain. Your hands are clutching your stomach, you’re quietly moaning in agony. 

“I think I’m getting sick,” you rasp out, your voice weak. It started with a dull ache in the pit of your stomach that didn’t seem to leave. Then came the nausea. 

“Sick, hm? Can I come in?” Joel asks you. You nod yes, and the door opens wider. His footsteps are soft towards the bed as he sits next to you. “Let me check you for a fever?”

You nod again, not having much energy to use your voice. Joel places a palm first on your forehead, then your cheek. Not satisfied with the results, he repeats the action with the back of his hand. It’s such an unexpectedly sweet and caring gesture, your eyes prick with tears. 

“Not terribly warm,” he mumbles. And then it catches his eye: that rusty bloodstain on your bed, heavy and concentrated to a few square inches. He leans over to check your backside, where he finds the stain mirrored on your pants. “Think you started your period, honey.” he whispers. 

The cramps and nausea feel all too familiar now. 

You hadn’t had a period since the beginning of your trek across the country with Joel and Ellie. Not that it was a super regular occurrence before that, but you often gave your food to the younger girl. Being so malnourished, your period disappeared. It was a welcome exit, your period was always exceptionally painful and miserable for you. 

“Oh,” you move your hand to your ass and press your fingers into where you think the bloodstain should be. And yup, there it is. “Shit.” you grumble, looking at the matching bloodstain on your blanket. The last thing you wanted to do today was laundry. 

Your cheeks heat up slightly. Hiking halfway across the country with someone, modesty is usually thrown out the window. You and Joel have seen each other in all sorts of intimate states, too intimate for the type of relationship you share. But still, you can’t help but be slightly embarrassed.

He must see your blush. “Hey, it’s alright,” Joel assures you softly. “I was gonna go over to Tommy and Maria’s anyway to do some laundry. Why don’t you let me wash your blanket and those clothes, hmm?”

“You really don’t have to, Joel,”

He ignores your gentle protesting. “Nonsense. I’m gonna give ya some privacy for a second, leave what you want washed outside your door. I’ll be back in a few hours,” 

You smile gently, scolding him in your mind. He doesn’t need to be doing all of this for you. He smiles back, warm and shy, before exiting your room and shutting the door behind him. 

You strip, changing into some sweats and fresh panties. In the bathroom are some reusable pads made from old towels that Maria gifted you when you first arrived in Jackson with Joel and Ellie. She gave the last menstrual cup to Ellie, who’s at school today. You put on a pad, toss your soiled clothing outside the door, and curl up with a book on your bed.

Joel lets himself inside Tommy and Maria’s home. Yes, there’s a community laundromat. But those often require socializing, which Joel is not much a fan of. Tommy and Maria generously offered you and Joel their to use washer and dryer instead.

He places the basket of laundry on top of the dryer and begins filling the washer with your clothes and blankets, none of his own, and sprinkles in some detergent. 

Joel lied. He did his laundry yesterday. But he knew how ill you were feeling, and Joel, ever the gentleman, decided to take it upon himself to take care of this for you. The grumpy asshole did have a heart after all. 

“Back so soon?” A voice interrupts. Joel turns to look, it’s Maria standing in the kitchen with her baby on her hip. “Didn’t you do laundry yesterday?”

“I did, yeah,” Joel responds. 

Maria notices your soiled panties sitting on top of the blanket she recognizes as yours in the washer. “She got her period, I’m guessing?”

Joel nods. “Yeah, figured I’d take care of the laundry for her,” “Well aren’t you kind,” Maria says, impressed. Not many guys would take care of washing a woman’s period-bloodied clothing. “I thought she might be starting soon. Noticed yesterday at the dining hall she was complaining of cramps and such. She also seemed a little moodier than usual.”

Joel shuts the lid and turns on the washer. “I thought so too,” he agrees. “She was a little irritable.”

Maria puts on a pot of coffee and offers Joel a cup, to which he accepts. For a while they talk about Tommy, then their new baby. When the washer finishes, Joel moves the clothes and blanket to the dryer. 

“I can drop those off for you if you’d like,” Maria offers. “You may wanna get back and make sure your girl’s doing okay.”

“That’d be great, I was actually thinkin’ the same thing,” Joel thanks Maria. “You don’t have any pain meds, do you? Poor thing looks terrible. She’s all curled up into herself, barely speakin’ to me.”

“No, I don’t, unfortunately,” 

Joel sighs. “How do you deal with it, then? Cramps and all that,”

“Well, a warm bath always helps. So does a heating pad if she has that,” Maria says. 

Joel nods his head. “Is there anything else? Tea? Somethin’, anything. I mean, this girl is absolutely miserable,”

“Well,” Maria starts, unsure if she’s ready to reach this level of personal with her brother-in-law. “Orgasms.”

Joel sputters into his mug as he chokes on the coffee in his mouth. “Pardon?”

“Yeah, orgasms. Have sex with her. It’s what I recommend to all the women here. It does help the cramps subside, at least for a bit,” Maria says. Joel’s face drops, his eyes go wide. “What, are you afraid of blood or something? You’re washing her bloody clothes…”

“No, no. It’s uh, it’s not that. We aren’t…we’ve not…”

Maria stops Joel, understanding. “My apologies. I thought you guys were together like that. Well, God gave women fingers for a reason,” she says, very matter of factly.

Joel blushes, images of you and your wandering fingers flooding his imagination. “Got it,” is all he says. No fucking way in hell he’s going to tell you to masturbate to alleviate your cramps. That can most definitely be a conversation between you and Maria another time, when Joel is far away from you both.

He awkwardly says goodbye then, making his way back to your shared home. Maria sends him home with some potato soup, instructing him to heat it up for you. It’s good comfort food, she says. 

In your bedroom, you look to be in about the same position as you were before. Whimpering in pain, rocking your body back and forth in the fetal position. Anything to shake the hurt away. 

“Hey darlin’, Maria gave me some potato soup to heat up for you. Can I make you some?” Joel’s back in your doorway, his tall frame leaning across the rickety old wood. 

“No, thank you,” you whisper. “Not really hungry.” “Figures. That’s alright. Anything else I can do?”

No, you tell him. Not unless he’s willing to be your human body pillow. This entire time you’ve been bleeding, you’ve been aching for comforting touches. Strong arms wrapped around your torso, warm hands pressing on your lower tummy. The other hand holding your own, thumb tracing back and forth on your skin. Soft kisses on your forehead, your hair. You just want to be loved, gently. The way you so deserve. 

Joel turns to leave then, just about shutting the door behind him. 

Maybe…

“Joel?” you call out. 

“What’s up, honey?” 

“I was just wondering if you’d maybe hold my hand. Just for a second,”

Joel smiles sadly through the crack of the door. “Of course,” he says tenderly, like it shouldn’t have even been a question on your mind. Of course he’ll hold your hand.  He meets you at the bed, sitting awkwardly next to you. He offers you his hand, which you take in both of yours. It’s dry and calloused, but so warm and comforting. “Squeeze me as hard as you need, alright? I can handle it.” Joel adjusts slightly so he’s laying next to you, his other hand stroking your hair. He smiles to himself, small and genuine. 

A wave of ache overtakes your body, beginning in your abdomen and spreading up your chest and down your thighs. Your breasts are heavy and swollen and aching angrily. You groan in agony. “Fuck,” you whimper. 

“What hurts? Where?”

“Everywhere,” you cry. Your hands leave his, and they find their way to his torso. You grasp his sides in your fists and squeeze, but he doesn’t complain. It doesn’t hurt, and even if it did, you’re hurting worse. In truth, he’s savoring the warmth your bodies create together. He loves being able to comfort you like this. 

Joel wraps his arms around your back, dragging his fingertips up and down your spine. “You’re breakin’ my heart, honey,” he whispers. “Let me help you. What can I do?” he asks, hot breath tickling your ear.

“I don’t think you want to,” you murmur.

“Try me,”

You sigh, sitting up on his chest slightly. “Can you…massage me? My chest?” 

Joel’s breath hitches and he shuffles awkwardly. “I suppose,” he starts. 

“I’m sorry. I just need your strong hands, I tried doing it myself but–”

“No, yeah. Of course,” Joel interrupts. He’s at a loss for words, more filthy images of you flooding his mind. Just like before, at Maria’s. “It’s what friends are for, right?” He cringes inwardly at the word he uses. Friends. 

“You’re too good to me,” you mumble. 

“Nonsense, honey,” he hushes you. “Sit up, turn around. I’ve got you.” 

You trust Joel completely. He can be rough around the edges, but you know how soft and nurturing he is on the inside. Joel is meant for this, taking care of the people he loves. 

He spreads his legs and you lean back into the soft warmth of his torso, holding onto his denim clad thighs. He’s awkward to start, still unsure of how to do this, exactly. You take his hands and drag them up, up your tummy, stopping for a second to savor the heat from his palms radiating through to your abdomen, then continue pushing them up your body. You stop just before your breasts, his thumbs lightly tracing the soft flesh of your tits.

“You ready?” he asks, his voice steady and calm but slightly nervous. He wonders if you can hear the way his voice is wavering slightly. 

“Mhm,” you mumble. 

And then he gets to work. Gently, timidly, he runs his hands over the soft flesh of your breasts, then your nipples. You groan at the contact on your sensitive buds. He squeezes gently, then increases pressure experimentally. He can feel how swollen you are as he explores every inch of your chest. 

“Doin’ alright?” he asks, fingers and thumbs digging deep into your breasts. He massages you intently and with such tenderness, his gentle caretaking instincts taking over. 

It hurts so fucking good. The ache is amplified yet dissipates with each motion of his palms. “Yeah, harder. Don’t stop,” you plead desperately. 

Joel swallows thickly and increases pressure again. “Like this?”

“Just like that, Joel. So good,”

God, how sinful you sound. Whimpering and moaning for him, begging for more. Shit, not now. Not fucking now, he thinks as his cock begins to harden under you. “Fucking moron,” he whispers. 

“What?” 

Joel freezes. “Shit. I uh, wasn’t callin’ you a moron. Sorry,” he apologizes gruffly. “It’s me. I’m the moron.”

“Why are you a moron?”

“I’m gettin’ a bit hard. I’m sorry,” he mumbles. He feels heat rise up his neck and to his cheeks. “I didn’t mean to.”

“My tits are in your hands, Joel, I get it. I don’t mind,” you assure him. You feel his cock half hard, pressing into your lower back and you shift a little. You both notice how he grows harder at your adjustment.

Joel chuckles awkwardly, trying to break the tension. “I’m only a man, hon. Can’t help it,” 

“You’re okay, Joel. I promise,” You chuckle with him, sighing and resting your head back on his chest again as he starts massaging you once more. The stubble on his jaw tickles your face, his chest rises and falls with every second. You share a moment in the silence, made slightly awkward by Joel’s arousal. You wince as another strong cramp overtakes your body, and you curl up into Joel.

“Cramps?”

“Cramps,” you mumble. “I don’t think you can massage those away, though.”

“No, probably not,” he mumbles. “Not with my hands, at least.”

“With what, then?”

Did he really just say that? You really are a fucking moron, Miller. 

“At Maria’s today, she told me a way to alleviate cramps,” he starts, speaking slowly, like he’s whispering a secret that’s not his to tell. 

“How?”

“Orgasms,” he whispers stiffly. He presses his lips together in a thin line and looks up towards the ceiling. 

“Oh,”

“I could give you some privacy if you wanted to try that out,” he mumbles. 

“Why would you do that?” you turn to look at Joel, who is bashful and looking down. He looks at you with an eyebrow raised, and you continue, “Didn’t you just say you could make the cramps go away, just not with your hands?”

“W-well, yeah, but,” he stutters. 

“I have been so fucking horny. And you’re hard too, so,”

Joel’s eyebrow is still raised, he’s eyeing you suspiciously. “Are you askin’ what I think you’re askin’?”

“You already washed my bloody panties. I’m guessing blood isn’t an issue for you,”

“No, no. ‘Course not. You want me to fuck you?”

“Yeah, you know. For science. For the sake of experimentation,”

Joel smirks mischievously. “Nothin’ wrong with a little experimentin’,” he agrees. You smile at the twang of his Texas accent. 

You share another awkward moment, both unsure of how to continue this scientific endeavor. Joel makes the first move this time. “Come here,” he breathes, lifting you into his lap. “Kiss me.”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, intertwining your fingers in the grey-brown curls at the base of his neck. His hands are on your waist, holding you steady with your thighs straddling his. He leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss, his lips are slightly chapped but so deliciously soft and warm against yours. He tastes like himself and nothing more, but his taste is addictive nonetheless. 

You grind your pelvis into his bulge, whimpering at the contact on your sensitive heat. You’re craving more than his kisses, needing to feel all of him. His weight on your body, his skin on yours. His member deep inside you, massaging that spot that makes your head spin. “More,” you whine. 

He hums in amusement against your lips, thrusting his hips into yours. Cheeky motherfucker. 

You swat his arm lightly. “Don’t tease, Joel. I need you,”

“I know ya do. Let’s get you warmed up then, hm?” you nod hurriedly, leaning back. Joel pulls you back in for a kiss, his hand snaking under both your sweatpants and panties. “This alright?”

“Yes, fuck,” you whine, bucking your hips into his hand. His fingers dip further, gathering your wetness and circling back up to your clit. He traces slow, steady circles into your bud, taking his time with you. He pushes his middle two fingers deep inside you, fingers curling up and hitting that sweet spot. You gasp and whimper into his mouth. 

Joel loves taking his time with you. Playing with your body like a musical instrument, eliciting moans and whimpers from deep inside. Watching you dance for him, falling to pieces under his touch. 

“So pretty like this,” he praises you. 

You kiss him again and hop off his lap, he pulls his hand away from your core, quickly hiding it from your sight. He doesn’t need you feeling any shame or embarrassment of your body doing what it was meant to do. “Get a towel?” you ask him. 

“‘Course, honey,” Joel sits up and grabs a towel from the linen closet, then walks back to your room. He shuts and locks the door behind him before laying the towel down on the bed. You stand up to meet him, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling off his shirt. He does the same to you, helping you out of your sweats and shirt. You quickly sit down on the towel and he stands before you, cock rock hard, admiring all of the curves of your figure. “Jesus, you’re beautiful.”

You blush and reach forward to pull him to you. “So are you,” you tell him earnestly. He steps toward you and pushes you back, getting ready to enter you. You put a hand on his chest to stop him. 

“Is everything okay?” his dark brown eyes are big and full of worry. 

“Of course,” you say. “I’m not ready yet. I wanted to taste you,” you admit.

Joel smirks.  “You’re the one bleedin’ and cryin’ in pain, and you wanna taste me?”

You smile back. “For science, right?”

“Sure, sweetheart. For science,” Joel sits next to the towel, you lean over his lap and get ready to take him into your mouth. “Ah ah ah,” he tuts, “Like this.” Sitting next to him on the towel, he instructs you to face him and spread your legs. This way, he says, he can take care of you too. 

You lean over, making sure your heat is still accessible to him. Joel leans back onto the pillows and lets you get to work, his fingers tracing up your thigh before meeting your center once more. Your lips part around his member, tracing the soft and warm skin with your tongue. You moan when his fingers enter you again, voice sending vibrations through his cock. “Fuck, honey,” he groans. 

You play with each other like that for a while, Joel working you open with his fingers and you taking him further and further down your throat. His cock twitches, engulfed in the wet heat of your mouth. 

“Stop, stop,” he begs. “Not gonna last.”

You pull off of him with a pop, and his hands leave your body. You whine at the loss. 

“I know,” he soothes. “C’mere.” Once again, you’re in his lap, hovering over his cock. It’s held loosely between his fingers, tip prodding at your entrance. “Ready?” he asks you, his sparkly brown eyes are looking up at you, his eyebrows raised in anticipation.

“I need you,” you whisper desperately. And with that, Joel notches the tip at your entrance, carefully studying your features to make sure it’s not too much, not too fast, not painful. You steady yourself on his shoulders, fingernails indenting his skin. He pulls your hips down slowly, letting you savor every inch of him. He bottoms out with a deep sigh, and you lean forward to rest your forehead on his. 

“Wait,” he interrupts. You frown with concern, and he bucks his hips up. You let out a yelp, partially in pleasure, partially in surprise. Joel pulls the towel under you both. “There.”

You giggle. “Good idea,” you whisper. You stare down at him, a slight smile on his lips. You start to roll your hips, letting your clit brush the thick tuft of dark hair at the base of his cock. You whimper at the feeling. 

“Feel good, baby?” Joel asks expectedly. 

“So good, Joel” you assure him. “You feel so good,”

Joel pulls your body down to his, letting you rest on your knees. He thrusts into you rhythmically, letting you relax against him. “Fuck, you feel nice, honey. Knew you would,”

You moan and cry, kissing and whimpering into his neck. Using your sounds and the way your body reacts to his touch, he fucks you hard, intently, but gently at the same time. It’s delicious. 

You rock your hips, bouncing on his cock to match each of his thrusts. He hits that sweet spot in you repeatedly, he can feel your walls squeezing him, hear your moans becoming quicker, more frantic. “God, you’re sensitive,” he says. “Aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“Fuck, yes,” you whimper. “M’close, need t-to come,” 

“You can let go,” he speaks softly, voice low and gravelly. “Come for me, baby,”

You lean back, lifting your hips slightly to give his fingers access to your clit. He takes the hint and begins circling your sensitive bud once more. It doesn’t take long before you’re falling apart on his cock, your cries and moans muffled as you bite into his shoulder. 

“That’s it,” he coos, fucking you through it. 

You try to take a second to catch your breath, steady yourself, only Joel has something different in mind. He doesn’t stop fucking your pussy, overworked and overstimulated. Within minutes, you’re coming again, your pussy making a beautiful crimson mess on his pelvis and fingertips. Still fucking you, he watches you come like you’re a work of art in a museum. Taking in every detail, every twitch of your face, the way your mouth drops in pleasure, how your tits bounce with each thrust. 

“Too much, Joel,” you cry. “S’too much, please.”

“You give me one more, baby. C’mon now, want you to come with me,”

“I can’t,” you pant. “I can-” 

“Yes, you can,” he encourages firmly. His voice is sweet but stern, and it is clear your pleasure is not to be negotiated. You will come again. “One more, one more. S’all you gotta do.”

“Fuck, Joel,” 

“I know, you’re doin’ so good f’me,” 

It’s almost painful, but you focus on the pleasure building once again deep inside you. You rock your hips, grinding your clit on the pads of Joel’s calloused fingertips. Right there, right there…

“You’re makin’ such a pretty mess of this cock, darlin’. Wanna fill you up, baby,”

His sweet talking sends you reeling, you love the way he praises you. “M’close again,” 

“Right there with ya, baby,” he soothes. His thrusts are frenzied, cock throbbing inside you. “Now, baby,” he commands. “Fuck, need you to come now.”

Moans and cries spill out of your mouth like liquid sugar, thick and sweet and slow. You come on Joel’s cock for a third time, your body melting into his own. He comes with you, his own grunts and moans mixing with yours to create the most beautiful sounds to fill the room. His voice is deep and desperate, sounding like pure sex as he paints your insides with rope after rope of his seed. 

You slink on top of him, focusing on catching your breath. His skin is sticky and sweaty as he holds you in a tight embrace, his heaving chest lifting you up and down. He pulls out of you, a mess of your fluids dripping onto the towel. You curl up next to him, your head on his chest.

“Cramps?” he asks. 

You shake your head. “All better,” you pause, then speak. “But hold me some more? Please?”

“‘Course, honey. For science, right?”

You smirk. “For science,”

You lay like that for what feels like hours, Joel stroking your back tenderly. One of his strong arms wrapped around your body, his warm hand pressing into your back. His other hand is holding your own, fingers squeezing you comfortingly, thumb tracing back and forth. He presses soft kisses to your forehead, your lips. He’s loving you gently, sweetly, the way you so deserve.

tags: @swiftispunk @rosaliedepp @pedrotonin @kittenlittle24 @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @brittmb115 @bigboiseason123 @laysmt @guiltgoreglory @aubreysylvain @leeeesahhh @oliveg95 @ifall4dilfs @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @harriedandharassed @vickie5546 @louisxosblog @southernbe @ravenouswild @luvrking @r02eg0ld @amythenortherner @walkintheprk @zpandaqueen @silkiers @angel-with-a-heart @kdogreads @boofy1998 @theoremrobin @ihatespoilers @2valentines @happy--birthday--kiddo @elissaaa @paleidiot @brie-annwyl @str84pedro @sesigsss @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @palomaluvsdilfs @kyloispunk @tiredbuthappy @yuk-for-president @jazzy-music-cat @anoverhwhelmingdin @dontatmethebeasts @venus122idkpleaze @nopealoupe @blackvelveteen1339 @monboudoir @darleneslane @bbyanarchist @spideysimpossiblegirl

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

I Want It All: Part 1

Part 2, Part 3; AO3 Link

Astarion x AsexaulBard!Tav Masterlist

Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Asexual!Reader, Astarion x Bard!Reader

Flirting, Light Angst, Longing

Summary: You and Astarion had been playing this little game of yours for a while; he pretends to care, you pretend not to fall for it. It's easy, even fun at times. The trouble is, what happens the moment you can't pretend anymore?

A/N: This turned into a monstrosity. For my own sanity I need to break it up into three parts. I also apologize in advanced, the stuff in the preview won’t pop up until part 2. And please, REBLOG AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THIS! I NEED VALIDATION TO LIVE!!!

Word Count: 4.8K

The day really couldn’t decide whether it was going to be terrible or tolerable. 

On the one hand, it had been pouring rain for hours, leaving you and your party drenched as you searched for some place dry to sleep. On the other hand, you were able to find an inn with more than enough rooms to accommodate all of you. On the other, other hand, rooms cost money, something that was in short supply. 

“How much does that make?” Karlach asked, placing her share into the pile. 

Gale counted out the coins. “Enough for our own rooms, but not much in the way of food.” His brow furrowed slightly. “Hold on, this can’t be right. Who forgot to pitch in?”

All eyes turned suspiciously to Astarion. 

He raised his hands in surrender. “I put down enough for the room. Food is something…you all have to deal with.”

Lae’zel gave him a hard look, the threat obvious on her features. 

“We could always share a room or two,” Shadowheart cut in. “That will at least hold us over until we can find a way to make more coin.”

A devilish smirk formed on the vampire’s lips as his eyes turned to you. “I’m not opposed to the idea. Certainly would make it easier for me to get a little midnight snack.” 

You gave a theatrical sigh. “Not tonight dear. I have a headache.” 

“Teasing minx.” 

“Can the pair of you not for ten seconds?” Wyll complained. 

You bit back a laugh, turning your gaze to the dining area of the tavern. Gods you could smell something delicious cooking over the fireplace. When was the last time you had a proper hot meal? 

It was then you turned your eyes to one of the empty corners. The solution to the issue of food suddenly became obvious. 

“Not to worry everyone,” you announced, swiping the coins from Gale’s hand. “Dinner is on me.” 

Before anyone could speak, you stepped towards the bar, making a point to put on your best smile. 

A elderly halfling woman regarded you as you approached. “What can I get you deary?”

“Actually it’s a matter of what I can do for you,” you said. “I see you have some instruments sitting much too idly.”

The old lady shrugged. “Not really. Night like this you don’t need music to bring people in.”

Your smile faltered a moment, but you pushed on. “That may be, but nothing keeps people drinking longer and deeper than a good song.”

She gave you a disparaging look. “Don’t tell me, bard right?”

“Guilty.”

“If you don’t have money for the rooms, we don’t comp that.”

You waved the comment away. “The rooms aren’t the issue. However, if you’re willing to part with a cauldron of stew, I’ll consider it payment enough.” 

Her eyes remained wary, but you knew you had her as a twitch came to her lips. “That’ll do.  Thirty minute set. You eat after.” 

She held out a hand which you took, striking the bargain. 

It didn’t take long after to secure the rooms. They were nothing fancy, but a mattress was a mattress and with the guarantee of true privacy for the first time in weeks, none of you were complaining. 

“How’s this about food then?” Karlach asked, taking a seat at one of the few tables large enough to accommodate all seven of you. 

“All taken care of,” you assured. “Just need to pluck out a quick set and we can eat.” 

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Astarion said. “I don’t mind it myself, but your songs have a tendency to be a bit, well…destructive. Frankly I’m surprised you didn’t use that cutting mouth of yours to simply insult the woman into feeding you.” 

“As it turns out, I have a little thing called restraint. Unlike some people,” you countered. 

“Oh trust me my dear, I’m well aware of that.” 

You rolled your eyes, deciding to ignore the slight twist of guilt in your stomach. 

He couldn’t seem to help making those kinds of jabs ever since you had declined his offer for a midnight tryst; always alluding to the theme of “untapped passions” or “delayed gratification”. It was starting to wear on you. 

Gods knew you liked him. He had so many qualities you admired; insight, intelligence, charm, the way he could make you laugh. The more you learned, the more you wanted to know and the more you were willing to give for answers. The trouble was his idea of a night of passion and yours were so very, very different.

A part of you knew the honest thing to do would be to spell it out for him.  You understood him well enough to know he’d respect those boundaries. At the same time, you didn’t want to lose this, whatever this was, between you. If suddenly that night of passion was off the table, all those moments, all his attentions would be lost. He’d be a friend, certainly, but nothing more. 

It was selfish. You knew it was. You couldn’t imagine finding the words to explain it to him. It would leave you too exposed, too vulnerable to that insistent burning want that had a way of tearing you apart from the inside out. It was better to leave him to his assumptions of suppression and prudishness. You’d keep your dignity at least. 

Pushing those thoughts away, you took your place in the unobtrusive corner and the spare violin waiting for you. 

A smile spread across your face as you tucked the familiar instrument under your chin. Since this whole adventure of yours began, you had little opportunity to apply your skills. Music had always been a source of comfort to you. It felt right to indulge in it now, some place safe and filled with warm firelight. 

With a flick of your wrist you began, the resonating tone of the strings filling the room. 

You allowed your eyes to close as you slipped into the melody. The sounds of conversation and laughter fell to an idle murmur. It was a simple tune, something easy to match the atmosphere, but one you loved all the same. You always found it best to start with something familiar. If the patrons could see you get lost in the music, they inevitably followed. 

As the first song came to an end, you chanced a quick glance at your audience. 

Most of the patrons still prattled on, but enough turned your direction to encourage you to try something a little more daring. 

Your fingers flew, igniting a livelier rhythm. More eyes found their way to you. A pleasant bubbling sensation filled you. They were falling right into your hands.  

Rising to your feet, you glided across the floor, moving with the music towards the center of the room. 

Patrons shuffled out of the way, transfixed by your performance. Even your companions had stopped their chatter. 

Karlach and Shadowheart’s faces lit up in delight. A smile touched the corner of Gale’s mouth. Even Lae’zel and Wyll looked on with admiration at your skills. As for Astarion…Astarion just stared. 

You couldn’t quite read what was going on behind those scarlet eyes. It was a look you had caught him wearing more than once, always blinked away before you could fully comprehend its meaning. All you knew was how it made that dangerous hope spark in your chest. 

He caught you looking and quickly morphed his expression to its familiar smirk. The bastard even had the audacity to wink. 

You rolled your eyes pretending not to have seen. It was all part of the game after all. He pretended to care, you pretended not to fall for it. 

A lute suddenly joined you from one of the corners, strumming its way into a new song. 

You turned as a cheer rose, encouraging the intrusive lutist forward. He was human by the look of him and certainly skilled in his own right. He took a moment to embellish your solo before taking over with one of his own. Soon enough you joined the conversation again with a counter melody. It wasn’t as clean as you would have liked it. The lad clearly had meant to upstage you, but you made sure to put him in line, allowing the impromptu duet to end in some kind of harmony. 

You transitioned easily to a new song as he took a seat, bowing to you as he did.

Remembering your showmanship, you made a point to bow in return, schooling your expression into a flirtatious grin before pulling away. That earned the man a round of cheers from his friends and a few obvious oohs from the crowd; exactly as you intended. 

You continued on with the remainder of your set. Requests were shouted from the audience, all the pieces of music moving to and from your fingers with practiced grace.  By the end of it, your arms were exhausted, but your face hurt from smiling. Gods you had missed this. 

As you took your bow, applause followed you back to your table as well as a handful of extra coin. 

“That was amazing!” Karlach said, beaming at you. “How’d you learn to play like that?”

“Years of practice,” you said, with pride. “Had to find an honest living somehow.”

“Well, it was beautifully done,” Gale added. “Maybe next time we make camp you could grace us with another performance. Provided we’re not all about to die of course.”

You shot him a grin. “I could be persuaded.” 

The wizard turned his gaze away, his lips turning into a knowing smirk. “You’ve been unnaturally quiet Astarion. Been bewitched have you?”

The vampire blinked as if coming out of deep thought. It was only in those last moments did you realize just how intently he had been looking in your direction.

“Yes,” he said, a little stiffly, “you were quite…good.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Be careful there. You wouldn’t want to overwhelm me with praise.”

He regarded you a moment before a sly smile turned at his lips. 

You were almost relieved. That look you understood at least. 

“If it’s praise you crave, you need only ask,” he purred. “You, my dear, are an unparalleled talent. Your beauty and grace alone should have brought you into the presence of kings. A true diamond in the rough.”

You snorted out a laugh.

“No good?” he continued. “How about this one; if I die tomorrow and the gods grant me mercy it will be your song that brings me into the beyond.”

You gave him a slow clap. “Brava.” 

He inclined his head in a little bow. “But seriously, you were good and you didn’t even destroy the furniture. Admittedly though, I wouldn’t have minded if he had met with a little accident.” 

You followed Astarion’s eye line to the lute player chatting with his friends. He perked up as he felt eyes on him. Without the distraction of playing, you could easily tell he was handsome in that sun kissed farmer’s son kind of way. Probably had most of the girls in the village swooning. 

He raised a tankard to you in toast.

You met the gesture in acknowledgment. 

“He wasn’t that bad,” you said, taking a sip of your drink.

“He was the worst part of your performance,” Astarion insisted. 

You knew he wasn’t wrong, but you couldn’t help but have your fun. 

“Oh my darling, don’t tell me you’re jealous,” you said, placing a hand over your heart.

“Certainly I am,” he said, clutching his own chest in turn. “He’s the only person I’ve seen you willing to make sweet music with. And judging from his looks, he would have much preferred it to be a private performance.” 

You didn’t bother looking over to the other table to see if he was telling the truth. It didn’t matter either way. It never did. Your answer was always the same. 

“He’ll have to keep waiting.” You shrugged. “Not my type.”

Astarion’s eyes narrowed slightly, leaning in closer. “And what exactly is?”

You didn’t answer, deciding instead to take a long sip of your ale.

He continued to eye you, his lips pursed as if trying to solve a puzzle. After a few moments he let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Fine, keep your secrets, but I will figure it out eventually.”

Your lip twitched up into a half smile. “You may certainly try.” 

It was then one of the staff brought out a truly enormous cauldron of the most delicious smelling stew you had smelled in your life. 

You didn’t think to wait as you greedily poured a ladle full into your empty bowl. Two full days on the road with nothing but a handful of nuts and berries to sustain you had taken its toll. The rest of the group soon followed, each taking their share. You ate yours so quickly that by the time the ladle had made the circle, you were grabbing for seconds.  

“Hungry are we?” Astarion observed. 

You paused mid bite, heat rising in your cheeks. You took a quick look at everyone else. Nobody seemed to have noticed how you inhaled your food. They were content enough in their own bowls and conversation. Carefully you swallowed before self consciously setting down the spoon in your hand.  

           “I am the one who worked for this,” you said, more defensively than you intended. 

Astarion regarded you with a raised eyebrow. “Even so, it’s not going to disappear the second you look away.” 

“Says you.” 

“Clever,” he said, dryly. “Devastating really. What’s next? Are you going to hit me with an “oh yeah” or Gods forbid a “your mother”?”

“I was actually leaning towards, “leave me to eat in peace you pompous jackass”.”

“Oh yes, that’s much better.”

You breathed out a frustrated sigh. Hopefully it would distract from your obvious embarrassment. You had thought you’d tucked those bad habits away. 

Years of living on your own had left you going to bed hungry more times than you cared to remember. There was a time food had disappeared from your plate if you didn’t eat it fast enough. Of course, things got better. You found music and people willing to listen. It gave you fire and shelter and a contented stomach on good nights. Still, there were the bad ones and old instincts took over. It took practice not to be as ravenous as you knew your nature to be. 

“Do I need to worry about your hunger?” you asked, deciding to change the subject. 

“Oh you of all people should know by now. I’m insatiable,” he crooned. 

Your eyes narrowed, unamused. “I’m being serious, when’s the last time you ate?”

He shrugged. “Few days. Last time I fed on you I imagine.” 

Your stomach gave a sudden guilt ridden twist. If that were the case, it had to have been at least three days ago. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because as much as the image of you swooning in my arms is appealing, I’d rather it be over my charms rather than blood loss.” He nodded his head towards the bowl. “From my own experience hunger and restraint don’t mix.” 

You tried to fight it. You really did. Years of instinct and reason told you not to fall for the softness in his eyes and voice. He simply didn’t want to explain a dead body to the rest of the party. It wasn’t out of some concern for your well being. And you absolutely could not allow yourself to believe he recognized the desperation in your actions and not pass judgment. If you believed that, you’d be in much more danger than you already were. 

“Excuse me deary,” an elderly voice asked. “I was wondering if I could have another moment of your time.”

You turned to see the barkeeper at your shoulder. 

“Oh,” you said, surprised. “Of course.” 

You moved to stand, but she gestured you down. It was then you noticed she was carrying a case. It was worn with age, but clearly lovingly maintained as the edges shone with intricate gold inlay. 

“I know you already paid for your meal,” she said. “But I was hoping I could ask for one more performance tonight.”

She opened the case to reveal the most beautiful violin you’d ever laid eyes on. The wood was a carefully polished chestnut interrupted with carvings which matched those on the case. The strings shone like gold and the pegs carved marble. You may not be a trained wizard, but could feel the magic pulsing from every square inch of it. 

“What is this?”

“It was my father’s,” the woman explained. “He was a bard you see, best in these parts from what people told. He had so many stories and songs. Built it himself to help tell them. Try as I might though, I could never get it to play as sweetly. I was hoping you might.”

You looked to your companions. The obvious curiosity played on all their faces. 

With a cautious hand, you plucked one of the strings. 

It was perfectly in tune. The sound echoed, rich and vibrant even with so light a touch. The instrument itself seemed to glow as if happy to be played once again.

Slowly, you lifted it from the case, taking the bow in hand. You placed it on the strings and with an exhale drew the first notes. 

It was the loveliest sound you’d ever heard.  

The vibrations resinated in your fingers, moving through your arm and into your chest. 

You decided to start simple, a handful of scales to get the intonations just right. 

Color danced across the strings, rippling from your fingers like raindrops in a pond. 

“Woah,” Karlach said, her eyes widening in awe. “Are you doing that?”

“No,” you said, pausing your motions, as you let it fall slack in your hands. 

The elderly halfing smiled. “My father always said an artist puts their truth into every stroke of the bow. This here helps one’s heart shine. I saw the way you performed earlier, you’re not afraid to play what’s true.”

Color rose in your cheeks, unsure how to take such praise. “Thank you.”

She just smiled, nodding towards the instrument. “Keep playing. See what happens.”

You were suddenly aware of the rest of the party’s eyes turning expectantly towards you. Some with caution, some with anticipation, and one pair of red eyes with unreadable intentions. 

Knowing there was no way you were getting out of this now, you rose from your seat, placing the violin securely beneath your chin. 

You started slow, picking a tune every beginner memorized in their first lessons. 

The music sparkled in front of your eyes, twirling outward in melodic waves.

The hum of conversation began to die down as you spotted the barkeeper beckon for silence. 

You continued on, moving to something a little more complex, allowing yourself to let the rest of the room blur in the peripheries. 

The sound of boots on cobblestones met your ears. Glancing down you saw stone where hardwood floors had been. 

You took another step. 

The stones followed. 

Around you the room fluctuated between firelight and the brightness of morning. Looking up you could see a clear sky had replaced the hatched ceiling. 

A smile spread across your face as you stepped away from your bench. 

As if waiting for your queue the rest of the bar quickly moved tables and chairs out of the way, clearing the center floor. 

The sun followed as the cobblestones spread out in front of you like a stream. With every flourish, finer details were added. You changed the direction allowing a building to form beside you, then another and another. Images of people faded in and out like memories, coming and going with the flow of the music. 

You never felt anything like this before. The strings sang inside you, drawing out a melody you knew was there, but had always managed to slip from your grasp. 

You surrendered to its current, following it deeper and deeper until all you could see, all you could touch was the music. 

Behind your eyes the streets began to turn and change. Buildings loomed large overhead. You could hardly see the stars. A cold swept through your clothes, the chords of the melody vibrating with the shivers in your hands. The world was so much bigger and you were so much smaller. 

No instrument laid in your hands, but still the music played on as if you had slipped into a dream. 

You continued to walk unsure of where your feet were carrying you until something warm pressed against your back. Light reflected behind you, casting long shadows on the ground. A melody played, soft and soothing against your own. You turned towards it as the voices of long forgotten conversation and laughter accompanied the strings of a quartet.

Your chords and theirs brushed up against each other, a new light shining in the darkness, but just as soon as it began, it moved away, leaving you on your own once again. 

You continued on, brushing against others. Sparks would fly, fire would ignite only for them it fade in front of your eyes. 

Your own melody grew more desperate, moving and shaping itself to match whoever you found next only just able to cling onto the barest sense of itself. 

An ache grew in your chest as you wandered, always searching, never finding. Something warm trailed down your cheeks. You let it flow, unable to stop. You wouldn’t end the story here, even as swirls of blues and blacks surrounded you. They wrapped around your body, filling your vision and squeezing tight around you until you felt the air being pushed out of your lungs. There was nothing else.  Even the music had gone dead. 

For what felt like a moment and eternity you sat there, alone in the dark. 

A voice came to you then, but it didn’t come from the instrument tucked somewhere under your chin.  No melody accompanied it. It was so far away. Something about it was so familiar. It spoke your name like a desperate prayer. You reached out for it.

The air itself moved around you as if you had plucked the very strings of the universe. 

A low hum came next bringing with it two pin pricks of light. A red fire glowed in the darkened space, growing until they sat as two eyes burning in the air. 

You cocked your head to the side. Your own song started again, cautious as it curled around the eyes, examining them from different angles. 

The eyes crinkled at the edges, amused by your persistence. 

With a blur of motion, it turned to the side allowing a profile to form and beginning an enticing melody of its own. 

You and the face took turns, calling and answering in playful antagonism. 

The lines of light continued downward as its counter melody grew in strength against your own, forming the outline of a man.

He stepped towards you, his own head turning to the side as yours had done before, examining you from every angle. 

After a moment, he bowed. You curtseyed. And then you did what only felt natural. You danced.

The heat of his touch burned your skin, but you didn’t dare pull away. You had been cold for so long you hadn’t even known you were cold. Even when it became too much, the fear of the darkness kept you in his light. 

The man in turn held you close, his song teasing against your own. So unlike the duet from before, this was a true conversation, the pair of you giving and taking in equal measure. You didn’t want it to stop, holding the feeling tighter and tighter until you felt the pulse of his fire inside you. 

You looked up to find the embers of his eyes pouring into you.  He moved your hand to his chest. A heart pumped beneath and you knew then it wasn’t his own. Just as you had taken from him, he had taken from you in equal measure. 

His face came into focus, forming a familiar knowing smirk and playful scarlet eyes.

He stepped back from you, his hand holding yours as he bowed, placing a kiss on the back of your hand. 

The song faded away and you were once again in your own body, a violin tucked carefully beneath your chin. 

You blinked your eyes open to find the tavern standing as it had been moments ago.  Patrons surrounded you, their eyes wide and mouths open. You glanced around the room, quickly finding your companions. Horror struck you as you read their expression. 

They’d seen it. All of it. 

Before you could register what was happening a wave of applause erupted from the crowd. People began to cheer. You heard awed whoops and hollers. The adoration was overwhelming and completely miss timed. You needed to lie down. You needed to think. 

Numbly you bowed before making your way to the side of the room where the barkeeper stood. 

You held the instrument out to her, unable to look her directly in the eye. 

“Thank you for letting me play this,” you said. 

To your surprise she didn’t take it, instead pushing your hands away with a shake of her head. 

“Keep it love,” she said. “After seeing all that, feels wrong to take it away from you. You’ve more than earned the right to it.”

You wanted to argue. You wanted to scream. You wanted to curse her for ever asking you to touch the damned thing. Somehow you managed to swallow all of that down, mumbling another thank you before slowly turning towards your party. 

There was still a chance to salvage this. Astarion hadn’t seen his own reflection in centuries. He didn’t know what he looked like. You could play this whole thing up to artistic license. You just carried a general feeling of desperate longing. No need for you to clarify its direction. 

Making a point to keep your head down, you put the violin away and slid it over to Gale. 

“Feel free to eat this one if you want,” you said. It was meant to be a joke, but even you could feel it fall flat. 

“I don’t think I can do that,” Gale said, his tone holding nothing but sympathy. 

“It really was lovely,” Wyll said, gently. 

“Beautiful really,” Shadowheart added. 

Your jaw tightened, caught between the urge to scream or weep. Why couldn’t everybody do you the favor of the lifetime and forget they saw anything. 

“Personally I don’t understand your choice in the spawn, but–” Lae’zel started only to be hit hard in the arm by Karlach.

“What?” she snapped. 

Your whole body cringed, knowing exactly what was coming next. 

“That was…me?” 

You were in hell. This was hell. You didn’t have to look up to see Astarion’s self satisfied expression. His tone made it clear enough.

In a flash you stepped back from the table, putting as much distance between you and the party as possible. 

“I need to go,” you managed. “Goodnight.” 

You sprinted out of the tavern, taking two steps of the time to the upper rooms. You didn’t stop until your door was firmly slapped behind you. 

Your breaths came hard as your heart pounded in your chest. Honestly you didn’t know how you locked the door. Your hands were shaking so badly as tears blurred your vision. All the emotions the violin had pulled from you returned, overwhelming you in their intensity. 

The instrument had done as advertised. It had shown the truth of your heart, putting it on display for the whole world to see. Gods you were an idiot. Why did you even pick up that damned thing? 

You kept your ears open, listening as everyone made their way to their rooms. Their murmurs never made it past the walls, but the way they paused as they passed your door made it clear enough they were discussing you. Thankfully they were kind enough to leave you be. 

Counting, you waited until all six doors shut before rising to your feet. 

As you did, you felt a small pull at the back of your mind. A vision of a door number and the feeling of anticipation sat on your tongue. The invitation was clear enough; Astarion was waiting for you. 

You wanted to ignore it, but you knew you couldn’t. There was no use in pretending any longer. The game was over and you would have to face the consequences.

With a steeling breath, you walked out the door. You could only hope Astarion wouldn’t hate you when it was all over.

[halsteadlover]

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥?

*Gif and pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Summary: what better thing than your boyfriend giving you a back massage?

• Warnings: no plot basically Spencer being horny, nudity, hinting of sex, cursing, highly suggestive at the end and I don’t know what else let me know if I missed something 😭

• Word count: 1906.

• A/N: PLEASE READ THIS ONLY IF YOU’RE +18. I was about to write a full smut one but I was too lazy so that’s what came out 😭. I’m sorry for any mistake <3 I hope you’ll like it anyways, let me know what you think and comment, like and reblog, I’d really appreciate it ❤️ Thank you so much for your support xx

Spencer was completely obsessed with you.

There was no secret about that.

He needed to always be next to you, to have his hands on you one way or another, to touch you. He was head over heels in love with you and when he looked at you, with so much love, he wondered what you had done to him, how you managed to make him lose his mind that way.

He always found a way to always be close to you, whether it was a hand on the small of your back, or maybe playing with a lock of your hair, having your fingers intertwined with his, having a hand resting on your thighs while his fingers possessively gripping your skin, or his lips placing kisses on your shoulder as his arm circled your hip while you were out with friends. One way or another he needed to touch you.

He was just obsessed with your skin, the way goosebumps formed on it every time he touched or caressed you, with your scent. You've never been with someone who adored you like that and being with Spencer made you realize how much time you'd wasted in the past.

He’d always compliment you, constantly telling you how beautiful you were. His eyes were always and only on you, whether you were alone or among other people. He always looked at you with so much adoration and love you often wondered what the hell you had done be so lucky. You've caught him looking at you sometimes with a silly little smile on his lips and after asking if you had something on your face, “Nothing. I just love looking at you, you're so beautiful baby. I love you too much,” he would reply, leaving you like a blushing mess, which he loved the most.

He never wasted time touching you, as already mentioned, he always needed to feel some physical contact with you. Every excuse was valid for him to be able to put his hands on your body so when you asked him to give you a massage, he didn't let you repeated it twice and literally ran into the bedroom, throwing away the book he was reading.

You had just finished taking a shower and you were wearing only a short towel that barely covered your ass. Spencer immediately stopped in his footsteps and let out an appreciative whistle as his eyes studied and scanned every inch and curve of your body with painstaking attention.

You chuckled noticing the way he was looking at you, failing to hide the blush that was spreading across your cheeks. He leaned in and circled your hips, “Shit baby you're breathtaking,” he said as his hands caressed your bare skin. He dropped small kisses on your cheek, then trailed down your neck. “So damn gorgeous,” he whispered, shamelessly squeezing and groping your ass.

“Baby!” you giggled as your hands caressed his arms. You then placed them on his chest and pushed him slightly away, earning a groan of disappointment from him. “No, stop it. I called you so you can give me a massage. My back is killing me.”

“Babe. C'mon, seriously,” he retorted with a serious expression “You’re half naked in front of me and you really expect me to behave? I got a boner by just looking at you with this towel on, there's no way I can resist you.

You rolled your eyes, a smirk playing on your lips as you dropped the towel to the floor and stood completely naked under his hungry gaze.

“Baby…” he sighed, his mouth slightly open as if it was the first time in his life he’s seen you naked, “Holy shit.”

He wasn’t the type of guy to curse but god, when it came to you he couldn’t find any other expression that could emphasize how you made him feel.

All the blood rushed to his dick, making his boxers ever tighter it started to hurt. His eyes looked mesmerized at every part of your body, dwelling on the curves of your breasts, so perfect they seemed to have been made to fit perfectly on his hands, your legs and your bare pussy that so much begged to be touched.

It didn't matter how many times he saw you naked, even multiple times during the same day, the effect you had on him was always the same. You completely took his breath away.

“Fuck’s sake darling.” He tried to reach out for you but you dodged him and sat down on the edge of the bed. “You can't do this to me please. You want to kill me?”

You lay down on the bed on your stomach, letting his inquisitive and hungry eyes analyze every millimeter of your skin and especially of your ass.

“Baby, can you start please?” you asked, lifting your head and supporting it with one hand, looking at him with doe eyes and an amused smile on your lips.

“You're gonna be the death of me woman,” he murmured running his hands over his face in frustration, unable to take his eyes off you and unable to formulate a coherent thought anymore.

Just like that, IQ of 187 slashed to 60, like once Emily had said to him in one of the many occasions he was shamelessly checking you out.

But it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t control it. It was as if his body acted on its own and his mind was completely blanked out.

After taking a deep breath, Spencer took the lotion you had just placed on the bedside table and poured some on his hand before turning to you and swallowing the lump in his throat.

He was on the verge of losing his mind and he hadn't even touched you yet.

His hands began to massage your shoulders, his thumbs pressing and moving in a circular way on your skin, firmly and decisively but at the same time with delicacy and gentleness.

You let out a sigh of contentment, a sigh that Spencer didn't miss but tried desperately to ignore. Your skin was on fire under his touch and all of your muscles relaxed at that contact.

Soon the lotion was absorbed and Spencer poured a little more onto his palm, rubbing his palms together before resuming massaging this time the area below your shoulder blades. While his fingers gracefully danced on your skin, giving you a very pleasant sensation, his eyes scanned your naked body, again and again and frustrated sighs escaped his mouth.

“How does it feel baby?” he asked, glancing at you and noticing your eyes were narrowed “Because I'm sure I'm about to heart attack.”

You giggled. “It feels incredible, you're so good with your hands darling.”

That line went straight to his dick and Spencer would’ve reckoned you said that on purpose. “Y/n… I swear… If you don’t stop torturing me like this.”

He bit his lip, as if this gesture could vent all the frustration and desire he felt in that moment. His hands descended along your back, massaging your skin with intensity and shrewdness, being careful to touch all the right points.

He let out another deep sigh and paused for a moment as his fingers perched on the curve of your ass, his mouth watering just at the sight.

“Baby?” your voice woke him up from his trance.

“Huh? Sorry,” he muttered as he resumed massaging you. “Baby… This is pure torture, I’m begging you I can't take it anymore.”

You giggled. “Don't be so dramatic.”

“Dramatic?” he exclaimed “I'm hard as a rock and I can't think of anything else but putting my face between your legs. Dramatic is an understatement.”

Even if his words made you hornier than you already were, you didn't want to give up, because God only knew how much you loved seeing him so desperate for you, so eager to touch you and pleasure you.

His hands began to descend more and more along your back, touching that particular spot that hurt you.

“Mmh yeah just like that, it feels so good.” A sigh of pleasure left your lips and Spencer almost exploded. You didn't deny you overemphasized that sigh a bit.

“Y/n. Fuck. Just stop it. You're driving me crazy right now.”

He let out another sigh as his fingers trailed further and further down your back. His thumbs massaged your lower back, deliberately brushing the curves of your ass.

“You’re so beautiful angel. How did I get so lucky?” he asked almost in a whisper, more to himself than to you. You smiled, feeling your body go up in flames as his fingers skillfully touched you. “I’m so enchanted by you.”

A moan of pleasure left your mouth as he began to massage your ass, squeezing it, pressing his fingers deeply on your ass. The back pain was almost forgotten, all you could focus in that moment on was Spencer and his hands.

You arched your back spontaneously, a gesture that triggered an almost animal reaction in Spencer. He couldn't take it anymore, he was sure if he waited a little longer he'd come in his pants.

As his hands went up along your sides – without letting a cry of disappointment escape you – he leaned over you, sowing a long trail of kisses from your ass, going up your back until he reached your neck. A smile crept on your lips, your eyes still closed.

“Baby I'm trying so hard to resist but I want to fuck you so bad right now I can’t take it anymore,” he whispered close to your ear, causing a rush of shivers through your entire body. “Will you let me fuck you?” He kissed your shoulders. “Will you let me make you feel good?”. One of his hands went down to your ass again as the other was resting next your head. “Please angel I want to make you feel so so good.”

He slipped his hand between your legs, which you spread spontaneously before your brain even gave the input to do so.

“Oh fuck… Yes,” you moaned as his fingers began to rub and touch your pussy from behind. You arched your back again to meet his movements and just the sound of your moans almost made him combust on the spot.

“Already so wet for me princess?” He bit the skin of your shoulders as his fingers touched you.

“Fuck… I'm always wet for you baby,” you gasped and it was so sexy Spencer wanted to take his cell phone, record your moans, set them as his ringtone and hear them until the end of his existence. “Ah yeah… You make me feel so good…”

At that point you were the one who couldn't resist anymore. You enjoyed provoking him but you wanted nothing more than to have him inside you, to feel him fucking you mercilessly, to pleasure him as much as he pleasured you.

You turned on your back and placed your hands on his face before drawing him into a kiss, which he returned in no time at all, sucking your soul out of your body.

He climbed onto the bed and positioned himself on top of you, his arms at the sides of your head while your hands immediately began to roam on his body and take his clothes off and roam on his body, now inexorably lost in each other.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @mrspeacem1nusone, @halstead-severide-fan, @allivzs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes, @kmc1989, @firetruckstuckley, @23victoria

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[little-diable]

Saturn swallowing his son – Professor Aaron Hotchner (Profiling 101 Series, Part 3/?)

Chapter three, here we go! Promise there will be lots of smut (the next chapter is finally full of smut), but please show some love to this chapter which has barely any smut in it. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader enrolls in professor Hotchner's class "Profiling 101", a man she has always looked up to, a man who treats her like an asshole from day one. Will her need for academic validation manage to push the two closer together? Will her bright mind push her into the world of Aaron Hotchner and the BAU team? Will he manage to keep his distance before the world he tries to protect her from can get its grasp on her?

Warnings: none, just some typical CM talk

Pairing: Professor!Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader (3k words)

Profiling 101 Series Masterlist

Part One Part Two Part Four

If one of her friends had asked (y/n) what she was planning on doing this Sunday morning, she’d probably have replied with “Sleeping in”, perhaps she’d have told them she was planning on going for a morning walk, perhaps grabbing coffee at a store she frequented. But none of these things were now happening, instead (y/n) was sitting in a black SUV, right next to Professor Hotchner.

She had been awoken by her phone going off, indicating that a new email had been sent to her, eyes struggling to focus on the bright screen of her phone. Her heart had skipped a few beats as she had read the email professor Hotchner had sent her, asking her if she’d like to join him on a trip to the BAU. He had attached his phone number for her, asking her to call him, and as he had explained to her that they were discussing her idea at the BAU, she had began to hastily dress herself, telling him where to pick her up.

“Here, don’t lose this.” Professor Hotchner pushed a visitor’s card into (y/n)’s direction, watching her clip the card to a belt loop, nodding at him as they walked towards one of the elevators. Barely any words had been shared on the drive, relishing in the calmness this very Sunday morning offered the two, grateful that they wouldn’t have to force themselves through any uncomfortable smalltalk. 

“Is there anything I should be careful with, professor?” His dark eyes met hers, pondering over her words for a few seconds before he cleared his throat, having to force himself to stop looking at her. 

“You can call me Hotch while we’re here, (y/n).” The way her name rolled off his tongue left her trembling in surprise, swallowing the gasp wanting to rip through her. “For now all I need you to do is to be as observant as you can be, don’t hold back on theories, and put enough trust in yourself. You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe in your work.” An unfamiliar sense of pride thumped through (y/n)’s veins, not used to the professor praising her like this. She could only nod, not trusting herself to speak up, pressing her lips tightly together. 

Before either one could speak another word, the elevator came to a halt, exposing the parts of the BAU (y/n) had been dreaming of seeing with her own eyes for years. She followed the tall man, eyes taking in everything she could admire from afar, unable to bite down the excitement filling her body with every step she took. 

“I’ll introduce you to the team first.” He led her towards what appeared to be a conference room, eyes instantly drawn to the familiar faces of Spencer Reid and David Rossi. “This is (y/n), as I told you, she’ll assist us on this case.” 

“It’s good to see you again, (y/n). I’ve been waiting for you to find your way to us.” David Rossi shook her hand with a smile, making heat simmer inside of her, freaking out that the man could still remember her from all these years ago. She shook the hands of the others, not noticing how Aaron Hotchner kept watching her with a slight smile playing on his lips. 

“As (y/n) pointed out to me, the scenes have a very dramatic touch to them. (Y/n) said they remind her of Goya’s Saturn painting.” 

“The painting depicts Saturn swallowing his son. It was foretold that one of his offspring would ultimately usurp his rule. In order to thwart this prophecy, Saturn devoured his own progeny. He managed to consume five of them, yet Jupiter was destined to escape his father's fate thanks to his mother's clever ruse. She replaced the infant with a stone in swaddling clothes and presented it to her unsuspecting husband, who remained oblivious to the subterfuge. Many years later, Jupiter overthrew his father, thus fulfilling the prophecy. During this momentous event, Saturn regurgitated his children, along with the stone.” Spencer kept rambling on, sharing everything he knew about the painting and its history, instantly drawing (y/n) in as she couldn’t hide her amazement. She tried to remember every word that was shared, very well knowing that this was a chance she’d perhaps never get again.

“So, what? Our unsub is fascinated by Greek mythology?” The guy (y/n) and her friends had seen at the bar days ago, who had just introduced himself as Derek Morgan, cut Spencer’s rambling short, muscular arms crossed in front of his chest. For a few seconds they were engulfed by silence, eyes focusing on the pictures of the crime scenes. 

“Maybe he is reliving some childhood trauma? It wouldn’t be surprising if the unsub grew up in an abusive household.” (Y/n) watched Emily Prentiss pick one of the pictures up as she spoke, eyes zoning in on the wounds the victims bodies were littered with. 

“A study from the early 2000s shows that most serial killers displayed similar patterns of severe childhood neglect, patterns developed from birth through adolescence. Our unsub definitely knows about Greek mythology, perhaps a professor or a teacher?” A hum left the others at the information Spencer shared, though (y/n) couldn’t focus on the numbers, speaking up before she could stop herself from doing so. 

“I doubt it's somebody with an academic background, these scenes wouldn’t be as dramatic otherwise. But what about somebody favouring art? A painter?” Her eyes instantly flickered up to meet Aaron Hotchner's, the man who was already looking at her, giving (y/n) an encouraging nod, allowing her tense muscles to relax. 

“Garcia, cross reference people who are known as painters around the area, somebody who also shows up in reports from domestic abuse from the past thirty to forty years.” Aaron turned towards (y/n), speaking a soft “Good job, (y/n)” that left her heart skipping beats in excitement. 

……

“Thank you for driving me back.” Her words filled his dark SUV, voice kept quiet to match the calmness they were engulfed by. (Y/n) didn’t dare look away from the handsome man, knowing that she shouldn’t miss a single second fading by, not knowing if or when she’d ever get to share these moments with him again. 

“It’s on me to thank you, (y/n). You’ve done well today.” Only now did she begin to realise how close they were sitting, forearms about to touch, resting on the middle console. She couldn’t stop her eyes from flickering down to his lips, allowing herself to imagine him pulling her closer, softly kissing her as the rain kept pitter pattering down on the windshield of the SUV. 

For the first few seconds (y/n) wasn’t sure if she was only imagining it, but it seemed like Aaron was caught in the same thoughts as (y/n), slowly moving closer. Her heart roared in her chest, praying to whoever was listening that he’d close the distance between them, kissing her like she had hoped he would for years. 

(Y/n) could almost feel his breath on her cold skin, could almost pick up on the shaky breaths leaving him, but before either one could give in the sound of Aaron’s phone going off ripped them apart. His eyes grew cold once again, nodding towards (y/n) as if he was wordlessly saying goodbye, answering the call as he watched her leave the car, clothes instantly soaked through by the heavy rain. 

Disappointment flushed through (y/n), finding her way into her apartment with a sigh breaking through her. She couldn’t help but curse whoever had forced them apart, asking him to return back to the cold demeanour she was all too familiar with by now. 

Would he treat her the same way he had treated her for the past weeks in their upcoming class? Or would he treat her a bit kinder, just like he had done today? One question after another filled her mind, painting scenarios that’d leave her sleepless for hours on end. 

……

“Hi (y/n), it’s Emily Prentiss. Hotch told us you didn’t have any time to keep on working with us on the case, but the girls and I would love to grab some drinks with you if you're up for it?” (Y/n) had been staring at the text message for what felt like hours, rereading every word carefully, hoping that she wasn’t misinterpreting what Emily had texted her. 

Hotch told us you didn’t have any time to keep on working with us on the case – the words felt like blades piercing her heart, cutting deeper and deeper, about to rob her of her last breath. (Y/n) had to blink her tears away, not understanding why he’d tell them lies like this, actively keeping her away from him and the team. 

Ever since that moment in the car he had been back to his brooding self, cold demeanour keeping his distance from (y/n), not even looking at her once in class. She had gotten the memo, had instantly seen through the game he was playing, and yet she was hurt by it, not understanding how he could pull away this easily. Back then she had promised herself that she’d also keep her distance, not wanting to chase a situation this toxic, but now, two weeks later, (y/n) couldn’t help but give into the anger simmering deep inside of her. 

With a deep breath leaving her she tapped on Emily’s contact, calling the agent before (y/n)’s rational self could catch up with her actions. Within a few moments she and Emily had shared information about the whereabouts of the group, promising that she’ll be at the bar in a few, set on distracting herself from her heartbreak. 

……

“(Y/n)! It’s so good to see you!” Penelope was the first one to greet her, followed by Emily and JJ, hugging the women who had already ordered (y/n) her drink. And even though (y/n)’s system was still taken up by her anger, by the ever growing annoyance, she couldn’t help but feel grateful for the three women who treated her like she had been their friend for years.

“So tell us, what or who is keeping you this busy?” JJ’s eyes glimmered with mischief, oblivious of the hurt (y/n) had to fight against, expression growing sombre as they watched (y/n) avert her gaze, clearing her throat as if she was feeling awfully uncomfortable. For a second she pondered over her choices, and yet her pettiness spurred her on, parting her lips to reply with her eyes flickering between the three. 

“Uhm, I don’t know why he told you that I’m busy, I’m really not, but I guess he simply doesn’t want me around. I just wish he’d told me that himself.” With an almost pitiful expression thrown her way, Penelope wrapped her arm around (y/n)’s shoulder, pulling her closer. 

“I’m sure he has his reasons, maybe he simply wants to protect you. He can be very cold at times, but I promise, he means well, and you did help us a lot with the Porcelaine killer situation!” 

“He never told me what happened with the case, care to elaborate?” (Y/n)’s eyes kept flickering between the women, waiting for either one of them to tell her who the killer was. 

“It was an artist downtown, we found him through the Goya replicas he tried to sell. The victims all bought the pictures from him, it was some deep rooted family trauma he was guided by, since his father had always told him he’d never be as good as Goya.” With a sigh leaving (y/n) she nodded her head, barely listening to the words Penelope spoke to redirect the conversation. 

Emily’s words about Aaron kept ringing in (y/n)’s ears, even as the three women started to pour shots down their throats with (y/n) mimicking their movements. 

……

“(Y/n)?” Aaron Hotchner’s all too familiar voice rumbled through her, eyes focused on Penelope and Emily, unable to bite down her drunken chuckles. It took her a few moments to reply, struggling with her blurred vision and the way her surroundings kept spinning all too fast. 

“You know what, Hotch?” She slurred her words, breaking out in laughter as Penelope almost lost her balance, leaning onto Emily and JJ as they waited for their taxi to arrive. “You’re the biggest asshole ever, I take back my apology.” 

“Are you drunk, (y/n)? Where are you? Are you alone?” Concern dripped from his words, an emotion her drunken mind didn’t pick up on, attention torn between his words and her newfound friends. She wrapped her arm around herself, trying to shield herself from the cold as a hum left her, wondering what she should tell him. 

“‘M not, Emily, JJ, and Penelope are here, the ones you lied to, in case you forgot.” An angry huff left Aaron, she heard him shuffling around, wondering what he was doing, or where he was going. 

“Where are you? Send me your location, I’ll pick you up.” (Y/n) ended the call, barely able to focus on the screen as she sent him her location, unable to ponder on what was about to happen. She could barely concentrate on the words she shared with the three women, telling them that somebody else would pick her up and that she’ll text them in the morning. And within minutes, (y/n) found herself watching an all too familiar frame walk closer to her, wordlessly wrapping his arm around her shivering frame, guiding (y/n) towards his warm SUV.

“Why did you lie? You could have just told them you don’t want me around.” She whispered her words, interrupted by a yawn rumbling through her, sinking further into the comfortable seat. But her eyes didn't leave his frowning features once, wondering what he was thinking about, wondering how he was feeling about being around her once again. 

“It’s not that simple, (y/n).” Aaron Hotchner matched the tone of her voice, hands tightening their grip on the steering wheel. Her mind screamed at her to shut up, to let it rest before this conversation would spiral out of control, and yet (y/n)’s racing heart urged her on to keep on talking, to ask the questions that wouldn't let go of her for months on end otherwise. 

“I know you don’t like me, but it would have been nice if you’d at least told me that I won’t be able to help any longer, to my face.” A sigh left Aaron, teeth grazing his lower lip as he stared stoically ahead, clearly telling (y/n) that their conversation was over. With her eyes wandering to her window and a huff leaving her, she kept watching houses blur by, no longer recognising the area they were in, wondering where he was taking her to – a question her professor answered without her having to ask. 

“You’ll stay at mine for the night, I don’t want to leave you alone in your state.” Angry, drunken words wanted to leave (y/n), words that were silenced by the realisation of what was about to happen. With his hand placed on the small of her back he guided her into the apartment complex, stabilising (y/n)’s frame till they stepped foot into the dark living room. She swayed slightly as she kicked her shoes off, not noticing the amused glance he shot her, watching her struggle. “You can sleep in my bedroom, I’ll take the couch. It’s the last door down the hallway, I’ll bring you some water in a minute.”

“I should take the couch, but you deserve to wake up to some back pain.” A laugh clawed through Aaron Hotchner as he turned from her, missing the sight of (y/n) disappearing down the hallway. With a deep breath being exhaled, he poured her a glass of water before he made his way to the bedroom, freezing in his step as his eyes found her frame, cuddling further into his comfortable pillows. 

“Here’s some water, do you want a shirt to sleep in?” She could only tiredly nod her head, hands working on her top, not caring that her professor was in the room with her, shuffling out of her clothes till she was only wearing her underwear. He had turned from her the second his mind had picked up on what she was about to do, wordlessly pushing the shirt of his into her direction without looking at (y/n) once. “I’ll be back in a few.”

She watched him leave the room with hurried steps, unable to stop her drunken chuckles from leaving her as she fell back against the mattress. The soft shirt she was now wearing smelled like him, a scent she’d always recognise, no matter how much she tried to pull herself away from the grasp her crush on him had on her heart. Years ago she had fallen prisoner to Aaron Hotchner, to the mere thought of him, mere images that were further from the truth than she had originally anticipated.

“Do you need something else?” With tired eyes she watched him approach once again, wearing a pair of sweatpants and a black shirt. She silently prayed that she’d never forget this very moment, the almost domestic feeling the sight of him shot through her. No longer could she guide the words rumbling through her, no longer could she stop her body from acting on the actions she’d curse herself for in the upcoming hours. 

“Stay?”

[randomtheidiot]

MCU Loki hate.

Anyone else think that MCU!Loki is a completely unlikable asshole? Like, his parents have done nothing but love and support him and he still won’t shut the fuck up about how Thor is the favorite child. He’s been shown nothing but love and kindness by Odin and Frigga, (his REAL parents because adoption is valid) he’s a space prince living in a lavish castle, he gets away with an inordinate amount of bullshit, he’s got a significant amount of influence and power even if he isn’t king and the audience is just expected to believe that he’s a poor, sad little neglected baby. And then when he blows up a fucking planet or whatever other bullshit Marvel’s planned for this movie, he’s a “sympathetic villain” and he “needs a hug”. What an ungrateful bitch.

EDIT: To everyone saying “That’s not true”, please explain why in detail or else I’ll simply ignore your comment. I also changed “Marvel” to “MCU” because it was ambiguous earlier. I am sorry about that but nothing else.

EDIT 2: Because people won’t stop bothering me about this, I am going to make it abundantly clear. Anything that is not shown in the movies themselves is not canon and will not be regarded as such in the context of this discussion. This includes deleted scenes, bloopers, cast member opinions and word of god. It has to be in the movies or it isn’t canon.

EDIT 3: YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK IT. I keep having to refute the same moot points over and over again because god forbid Marvel has writing flaws. Sick of people whining about this, but I refuse to rescind my statement (because I haven’t been proven wrong yet) so I’m turning off reblogs until you all learn how to behave. Now you all have to sit here and seethe about how I don’t like MCU!Loki. Maybe you’ll grow and change as a person because of it.

[yoonitos]

ㅤㅤHave you ever thought about that place that brings or would bring you peace and tranquility on some special or normal day in your life? Or that place with which you feel connected or identified 100%, either because of your personality or do you consider it as a comfort zone to let your thoughts take you to the top?

ㅤㅤSince I say this; This event will require you to make a moodboard with an image of that favorite and comfortable place that you have already gone to or that you want to visit, whether it is Paris, the streets of New York, the beach, the city, a forest, or whether a landscape of a country or city which you want to visit, just let your imagination fly and I just want you to have fun and make beautiful memories and thoughts when you make this moodboard.

ㅤㅤꭷ  ࣪   ⊹ㅤㅤㅤℐnformationㅤ🪽

ㅤThis event will end on May 1th , so if I see a moodboard after that date it will not be valid.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤTo hold this event there is no need to follow me (only if you want), you have to tag me when you publish it, so I can see it (either on the moodboard or in the comments of it), comment “joining” and reblogging (either in another account that you have of your choice) and tag 2 or 3 people who are encouraged to do it and finally when you publish your moodbard put the hashtag of my event which is:

#ㅤ꒰͡ ㅤ𝒮𝑎𝑓𝑒𝑡𝑦 𝒵𝑜𝑛𝑒 ℰ𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡 : 𝑦𝑜𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑜𝑠ㅤ ͡꒱

ㅤIt's your moodboard, you can customize it however you want, whether your moodboard has an image of your favorite artist or not, it doesn't matter.

ㅤYour moodboard has to be 100% yours, if I see that you copy from another moodboard, I will disqualify it. Also be careful if you are going to use things from other blogs without their authorship or credits, for example, dividers, symbols, bios, gifs, images made by those blogs, etc.

ㅤㅤㅤꭷ  ࣪   ⊹ㅤㅤㅤ𝒫rizesㅤ🪽

ㅤfirst place:

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤ100 reblogs (applies for a post you like) .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤmini bios pack (of the topic or singer you like) .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤ4 headers for your blog from the singer, band or characters you want to the theme or color you want .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤ5 dividers made by me (in the color or theme you like) .

ㅤsecond place:

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤ80 reblogs (applies for the publication you like) .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤ3 dividers made by me (to your liking) .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤtumblr or ig pack (whichever you like, only one, it's your choice) to decorate your blog or profile (to the taste you want) .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤmini symbol pack .

ㅤthird place:

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤ60 reblogs (applies for the publication you like) .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤmini user pack (of the theme, singer or character you like) .

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤa moodboard of the singer or character you want .

ㅤothers:

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤ30 reblogs .

ㅤㅤꭷ  ࣪   ⊹ㅤㅤㅤℐmportantㅤ🪽

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤdm me to claim your prizes (please don't harass or spam, be patient)

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤI reblog on my secondary account (@yoonitosrb)

ㅤ۫⊹ㅤI will publish your awards on this @yoonitos account and I will tag you in the comments.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤꭷ  ࣪   ⊹ㅤㅤㅤ𝒯agsㅤ🪽

@japnz , @jazzitos , @tookio , @gigittamic , @wiotas , @thsv , @poeticore , @poemale , @poetiqe , @fairytopea , @v6mpcat , @v6que , @nayeist , @ojiito , @obrigados , @p-oisn , @bambicito , @si-eunnis , @koosuvi , @is2bunnies , @agsthv , @alfaire , @florietas , @gaecoo , @fuckici , @iluvrei , @s-heon , @vg-k , @pommecita , @wonlita , @a-sap , @mjngs , @yeritos , @phuoris , @cupcek , @minslune , @also-web .

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

[wordbunch]

SFW Alphabet: Pippin

a/n: whichever big brain anon requested this was absolutely right to do so! he is BABEY and this blog is gradually turning into a Pippin stan account? ALSO I've changed up the template for the alphabet a little bit, so you will see some new categories, yayy <3 i hope you enjoy, please be so kind to reblog and i'm looking forward to any comments <3

A = AFFECTION (how affectionate are they and how do they show affection?) He is literally if affection was a person and he isn't particularly concerned with the notion of personal space. He will show you affection in any and every way possible – endless hugs, always being physically close, giving you little gifts, and most importantly making you laugh as much as he can on the daily basis.

B = BEST FRIEND (what would they be like as a best friend and how would the friendship start?) Very loyal, and of course chaotic and fun, always with some crazy ideas. There is never a dull moment, he likes to just randomly drop by and go on a little adventure with you. However, sometimes you need to be the person who balances out his craziness and energy, so that you don't end up getting into too much trouble.

C = CUDDLES (do they like to cuddle & how?) He absolutely LOVES to cuddle, and he would never stop if he didn't have to. There is no particular favorite cuddling position – they're all equally valid because he gets to hold and be held by his favorite person in the whole world. Some days he will wrap around you as much as possible, other days he wants to be the little spoon, it constantly varies.

D = DOMESTIC (do they want to settle down; how are they at cooking/cleaning?) Quite frankly, he didn't think about any of that before you – he is fairly young after all – but the second he fell in love with you (and you reciprocated it) he was like THIS is what I want for the rest of time!!! He can be a specifically organized mess, but he is very enthusiastic about helping you and learning how to do things around the house, it's really sweet.

E = ENCHANTED (what was their first opinion/feeling about you when you just met?) He was amazed and sort of fascinated by you. It wasn't love at first sight at all, it was just some kind of instant fascination and he knew he wanted to befriend you and get to know you immediately. Very soon, however, he would start feeling a bit too giddy if he ran into you somewhere, and mention you a bit too often to his friends.

F = FIANCE(E) (how do they feel about commitment; how quickly would they want to get married?) Once he is in love with you, he is all yours, with literally no interest in anyone else. Your relationship is basically best friends in love, so he doesn't feel limited in doing anything fun – you will probably just join in anyway. It would be pretty much the same if you got married, and it means having sleepovers with your best friend every single night! So he's totally on board with that, whenever you're up for it. Maybe really fast, actually. Impulse control who?

G = GENTLE (how gentle are they, physically and emotionally?) He is a BABY. Okay yes, he can be a little shit too, but first and foremost he is a baby. He takes too many things to heart and then overthinks them; and while he can admittedly be a little bit impulsive and rash in some decisions, he would never ever act harshly towards you in any way. He literally showers you with love constantly, it's just who he is.

H = HUGS (do they like hugs, how often, what are they like?) Loves loves loves hugs, and your hugs feel like the safest, warmest place in the world. Loves giving and receiving surprise hugs from behind, quick hugs in passing, long hugs to forget about any problems… Depending on the height difference, he'd be a big fan of giving you a side hug and then walking like that – holding hands is just too basic sometimes.

I = I LOVE YOU (how fast they say the L-word) Really quickly and maybe on accident, because he can talk a lot, and it wouldn't be the first time he spoke without thinking. When his own words reach his brain, his facial expression is absolutely priceless, all wide eyes and blushing cheeks.

J = JEALOUSY (how jealous do they get and how they act then) It's extremely rare that he gets jealous, he trusts you with his life and more. If he sees someone getting a little too friendly with you, his first thought would be something among the lines of 'oh nice, they're making new friends!' but if it goes on a little too long, he will feel a bit insecure rather than jealous, and go sulk in a corner somewhere until you find him; you thought it was worrisome how suddenly you couldn't hear him talking someone's ears of or singing on a table. Just go and find him and remind him that he is your favorite person and you would never ditch him for someone else, and the cheerful mood will return.

K = KISSES (what are their kisses like, where do they like to kiss you/be kissed?) Chaotic and cute and plenty! Like previously established, he is the biggest fan of physical affection, but sometimes he still hesitates a little bit when it comes to kissing you in public. Over time he gets more confident about it, and he will just dot a bunch of kisses all over your face until you're a giggling mess. If you kiss him on the forehead or the top of his head, he will melt into a puddle of love because it makes him feel like you're proud to have him.

L = LOVE LANGUAGE (what is their love language and how they show you love) I think his main two love languages, out of the five, would be physical affection and gift giving; but not any necessarily fancy gifts: more like a pretty flower he saw by the road and thought you would appreciate, or a silly little written poem. I know it's not among the five love languages, but MAKING YOU LAUGH is his absolute favorite thing to do, and you have more inside jokes than you can count.

M = MORNINGS (how are mornings spent with them) He loves to sleep in if he can, but once he's awake, he's awake, even if somehow he woke up at 5 am. You always wake up in a tangled mess of limbs and blankets, and in the mornings is when he is quietest, until you start making breakfast together and wake up half the neighborhood with singing, laughing, doing silly voices or accidentally dropping things.

N = NICKNAMES (do they like to use cute nicknames for you/you for them?) He will use every possible existent nickname, and he is partial to coming up with silly ones, just for you. He will most definitely blush if you give him one, it makes him feel super special.

O = OPEN (when would they start revealing things about themselves; everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) He is talkative and trusting, so a lot of things might come out accidentally; and besides, he is quite easy to read anyway. However, when it comes to more emotional matters, or something serious that is bothering him, he might act a little more closed off. All you need to do is remind him once that you'll listen and try to help, no matter what it is, for him to tell you almost everything.

P = PATIENCE (how easily angered are they?) Literally never?? You've never met anyone so chill with the most 'it is what it is' attitude. The only exception is if someone else is in any way rude or threatening to you, then he won't hesitate to give them a piece of his mind.

Q = QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you – every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget most things?) It's very arbitrary, sometimes he will remember something very small and almost insignificant, but forget something more important, or the other way round. He certainly doesn't remember everything, but that's not to say he doesn't try. And it's really okay if he needs you to remind him of something every now and then.

R = REMEMBER (favorite moment in your relationship) The first time when you two spent his birthday together – you actually threw him a surprise party with the biggest homemade cake, a bunch of little presents, and of course, fireworks! There was music and delicious food, and all his friends, and you – it was one of his favorite days of all time, and it spoke volumes on how you felt about him and the things that you'd do.

S = SECURITY (how protective are they; how they'd like to be protected and how they protect you) It's a mixed bag – he is often scared of something happening to you, but also he knows you're perfectly capable of defending yourself and he likes to watch you being all tough and independent. Maybe just for the sake of his confidence, sometimes let him step in and be a little protective, it's cute. If you stand up for him when he is being criticized, he will blush profusely, and give you a shy 'thanks', but he will keep thinking about it for a while.

T = TRY (how much effort do they put into dates, gifts, anniversaries, everyday stuff) He thinks you're too special and too wonderful not to be treated accordingly, and he will try to show you that through a bunch of little things. He loves to surprise you in small ways on at least a weekly basis, but for your birthday or anniversary or something „bigger“ like that, a huge bouquet of flowers is a must (seriously, it's so big that he barely carries it without stumbling), and he will try to make your favorite dessert for you too.

U = UGLY (some bad habits of theirs) Sometimes he unnecessarily doubts himself and even questions whether he is good enough for you, but luckily you can tell when he's overthinking those things almost immediately, and then you reassure him in more ways than one.

V = VACATION (how you spend lazy days and free time) The two of you always get up to something and it’s not that common that you’re just lying around, but in case you are, it’s most likely somewhere outside under the shade of a beautiful tree, catching some sun, talking each other’s ears off and sharing some delicious snacks!!!

W = WISH (something that they really want to do/experience with you?) He wants to do every single thing imaginable with you, because you make everything better and more enjoyable just by being there – the bucket list is endless!

X = XTRA (a random headcanon for them) He is organized but in a chaotic way: while his things might sometimes look like a mess, he always knows where everything is. And he really loves taking baths with obligatory singing.

Y = YUCK (what are some things they dislike generally or in a partner?) People who are mean and/or negative, because he is the exact opposite of those things, always tries to be nice to everyone and look for something positive in every situation.

Z = ZZZ (a sleep habit of theirs) For somebody that small, he takes up an astonishing amount of space in a bed – you have no idea how someone can be so sprawled, yet sleep without a care in the world.

-

taglist my beloved @starlady66 @queenmeriadoc @entishramblings @founder-of-imladris @silversword7000 @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @averys-placee @valkyriepirate @emmaarenstarr @noldorin-painter @asianbutnotjapanese @adamgetawaydriver @fenharel-enaste @ironmandeficiency @starryeyedrogue @dinofromspac3 @wisheduponastar @lady-of-imladris @frodo-cinnamonroll @unethicallypleistocene @deadlymistletoe @suncran @high-sea-husbands @asianbutnoteastasian @aidansloth @moth-makay

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[tarotwithdanise]

REVEALING THEIR QUIRKS THAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW PT.1

༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ how to choose pile? ✧ . ˚

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

PILE ONE PILE TWO PILE THREE

rules, disclaimer and notes ☆

[ 1. ] just a quick disclaimer : this reading was made for entertainment purposes only. this is obviously a general reading so takes what resonates and leave when it doesn’t, you don’t need to force your energy to read this and leave such a bad comment just to say it doesn’t resonates with you at all because the answer is very obvious! i don’t own any these pictures i collected them from pinterest so credits to the rightful owners.

[ 2. ] please ignore any grammatical errors on my reading since english is not my first language, thank you for understanding!

[ 3. ] third to the last one, if you are not an avid fan of this kind of readings and not totally 100% agree about the outcome of this pac please just ignore this post and don’t engaged anymore, this pac can contains harsh, hurtful comments about you or the other person that can trigger you if possible, so kindly read at your own risk and take how it’ll resonates.

[ 4. ] lastly, be happy and enjoy reading my works — feedbacks, comments, likes, reblogs and follows are really appreciated by the reader. (that’s me, lol :3)

for tips, donation, masterlist and paid readings ☆

TIPS JAR🫙 DONATION BOX📦

PAID READING SERVICES 🫁 MASTERLIST 🪷

[ ♡ ] check out my second account @danisetarot

SOURCE AND CREDITABLE : all of the pictures are collected and downloaded from pinterest , i don’t own any of them but credits goes to the rightful owners however edits goes and belong to yours truly. i use the editor tools canva and ibispaint for the header and divider.

PILE ONE

can easily recognize suspicious person at the very first time they had interaction with them.

may have braces atleast once on their life.

may act cold for no valid reason, they just feel to act one because they think it's cool (BRAH☠️)

can sleep anywhere and anytime, type of person who would literally sleep more than 8 hours per day if they have time.

always applying sunscreen even though they're not set themselves under the sun. (skin protection is real)

prefer romance books when it comes to genre to read.

may have some white hair even though they were literally young in age.

wear anklet or may have a rose tattoo or just tattoo on one of their feet.

if they find you boring person they won't even bother to listen to you at all, it really to noticeable this about them since they tend to show disinterest.

thin or petite.

always sits on the floor rather than sitting on a chair or coach 😭😭😭

prefer barefooted and simple shoes to wear.

into swimming getaways and might be a surfer.

have wrist bands or hair ties such scrunchie around their wrist.

typically good at mimicking others lol.

type of student who think that is okay to pass rather than to be failed also can be the clown class.

just randomly yells when they're watching tv because they might find the characters dumb or if it's a game show they probably likes to cheer and say the right answer even though they aren't really there.

loves to annoy and tease other people especially their classmates and siblings or family.

can be a prankster.

bed is their weakness and only comfort on their noisy and exhausted world.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

PILE TWO

can split, have a strong and flexible body.

someone who talk, eat or walk fast.

spend their most of the time imagining, illusions or fantasizing with their dream life.

likes to chew gums or bite their own lips.

might have an specific birthmark on their face or arms and hands.

likes to do TikTok or enjoy watching TikTok or YouTube shorts.

someone who is music is life, they have headphones, earbuds or earphones on their bag.

have a weird or distinctive laugh.

someone who have a big hands or feet.

someone who is introverted and likes to be alone and prefer more their own company rather than anyone else.

a picky eater and type of someone who is afraid to order in any food restaurants or fast food chains.

you will be amaze by them, they can do some magic tricks 🪄🪄🪄

likes to ghosting others.

type of someone who avoid eye contacts a lot- they're shy type people.

someone who is into yoga.

someone who likes to watch ASMR videos, they find it very comforting.

type of individual who will literally adopt a stray animals.

promotes equality for everyone.

always carry a bag even it's a small one.

wants to travel but they're broke right now.

havinh a hard time choosing clothes or things that will suits them.

someone who is into anime or manga.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

PILE THREE

wants to be in a relationship but hella don't even get out in their comfort zone.

someone who likes to wear hoodies.

may have freckles or scar on their face.

someone who prefer a partner who is way more unique and different than the rest of people they've known.

prefer to wear pjs, pants or leggings.

prefer the color of black, green, white red and yellow as their favorite color.

have unique or uncommon eye color, their eyes seems like sparkling-you might get drawn.

might be into smoking or drinking alcohol.

someone who enjoys planting plants, vegetables and flowers.

a risk taker not even afraid of change, they think they're ready for everything.

have a mysterious and alluring aura that surrounds them.

likes to licks or bite their nails.

moles on their face.

someone who can stay awake all night- night owl person.

prefer sad songs and hate third parties.

fashion styles that they may prefer are streetwear, boho and casual.

observant individual, typically someone who can witness and see what's happening on their surroundings.

probably on the average or taller of height.

hate liars, cheaters and scammers.

someone who have a strong scorpio, leo, capricorn, virgo, taurus and sagittarius placements.

someone who act as a father/mother of a friend groups even though they just have the same age as them.

have a beautiful and lovely-might be into singing as well.

Thank you so much for reading, let me know your thoughts, feedbacks as well tipping and reblogs is well appreciated !! ♡

࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚ 𝓞 ops you already reached the end. ࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚࿙‌֒࿚

© daninixx ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work.

[psychics4unet]

Uncover How Your Future Spouse Will Handle Conflict! 🌟💪

Instructions: Look at the 3 images of the piles below. Choose the pile that you feel most drawn to. Trust your intuition and select the one that resonates with you the most. Once you have made your choice, scroll down to read the description for the pile you selected.

I put a lot of effort into this reading, so please show some love by leaving comments, likes, reblogs, and follow me! ❤️💬✨

Paid psychic reading (7 questions for just $7) is available here:

Pile 1

The Five of Wands ⚔️

The Knight of Swords ⚔️

The Two of Swords ⚖️

The Five of Wands suggests that your future spouse might approach conflicts with a certain level of intensity and competitiveness. They may see disagreements as challenges to be overcome and might sometimes engage in passionate debates. The Knight of Swords indicates that they will tackle conflicts head-on with determination and quick thinking. They prefer to address issues directly and swiftly, sometimes without considering all the details. The Two of Swords shows that they may struggle with making decisions during conflicts, often feeling torn between different choices or opinions.

Together, these cards reveal that your future spouse will handle conflict with a proactive and decisive approach, but they may also need to work on balancing their intensity and ensuring they consider all perspectives before making decisions.

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Pile 2

The Four of Swords 🛌

The Queen of Cups 💧

The Seven of Wands 🏅

The Four of Swords suggests that your future spouse will prefer to take a step back and reflect before addressing conflicts. They might need time alone to process their thoughts and emotions. The Queen of Cups indicates that they will handle conflicts with empathy and emotional intelligence, striving to understand and validate others' feelings. The Seven of Wands shows that they will stand their ground and defend their beliefs, but they will do so with a strong sense of compassion and emotional balance.

These cards suggest that your future spouse will approach conflicts with a thoughtful and empathetic demeanor, taking time to reflect and respond with emotional understanding while standing firm in their convictions.

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Pile 3

The Strength 🦁

The Ace of Swords ⚔️

The Hermit 🔮

The Strength card indicates that your future spouse will approach conflicts with courage and patience. They will use their inner strength to maintain calm and handle disagreements with a gentle yet firm attitude. The Ace of Swords suggests they will seek clarity and truth in conflicts, using clear communication and logical reasoning to resolve issues. The Hermit points to a tendency to retreat and reflect during conflicts, preferring to find inner wisdom and understanding before engaging in discussions.

Together, these cards reveal that your future spouse will handle conflicts with a balanced approach, using both inner strength and clear communication while taking time for introspection and thoughtful consideration.

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best. Remember to reblog, like, comment, and follow for more cosmic guidance and positivity!

Paid readings (7 questions for just $7) are also available for more in-depth insights and personal guidance! 🌟💫

[coff33notforme]

Housewife!Ghostface

A/n: I decided to write this impulsively at 2am because I've been holding onto this idea for a while now. If you guys like it I'd be happy to do a part two of these headcannons or even a full fic, just let me know!

Synopsis: Modern Au with Danny Johnson where Danny has made himself comfortable as your full time housewife!

Pairing: Housewife! Danny and Gn! Reader

Housewife! Danny who wakes up before you, so that he can breakfast for you before you go to work

Danny knows all of your favorites by heart so whatever you want to eat, he’s got it down, he’s already accustomed to what you prefer to have 

Danny melts whenever you give him the slightest bit of validation or approval for his hard work, you know how hard he works to please you 

Housewife Danny spends most of his day cleaning up around the house, doing simple chores like vacuuming, doing the dishes, making the beds, sweeping ect. 

Tidying up the house for when you return home, he only wants the best for his lover of course 

Though he also leaves occasionally to run errands, grocery shopping, picking up orders from around town, among other things 

But he makes sure to keep track of time so he can come home before you so that he can cook your favorite as well as wash the blood down the drain

When you return home from your long day at work Danny is there waiting to greet you with a welcoming hug, and after a tiring day Danny's strong arms embracing you against his soft, plush chest is the closest to heaven you think you’ll ever get

He’s already set the table of course with your favorite meal hand prepared by Danny himself

Over dinner Danny’s very inquisitive about your day, he’ll listen to you ramble on and on about one specific coworker whos been bothering you lately, or how you got there exactly on time, or maybe even a compliment your boss gave you

Whatever you want to talk about he’s all ears, or maybe you had an exhausting day and all you want to do is relax 

He’s got you, he’ll offer to give you a message, or start up a bath for you, maybe if your feeling up for you and him could watch some TV in the bedroom, anything you want to watch  

God forbid anything happens to you, if you ever come to Danny even slightly distraught he’s engulfed with rage and this is one of the only times you’ll see Danny's face shift from the warm smile he offers you to something cold, something dangerous that you can’t quite read

Though he’ll assure you he’s not upset that way his eyes show a glimmer of fury you doubt his words though you never say this to his face

He’ll never pressure you to talk about anything but he is pushy for names, if you're hesitant about giving in to his requests he’ll start sweet talking you until you give in 

“Please my dear, I won’t do anything without your say so, but I need to know who brought my angle to tears, just let me fix it love.”  

Though you do find it strange how seemingly out of nowhere the co-worker who had been bothering you stopped coming into work only a day after Danny had interrogated you

You’ve only know Danny to be a sweet, charming, man who wants nothing but the best for you and he’s given you no reason not to trust him, so how could you think anything of it but a coincidence 

Though you never know what Danny really gets up to when he does his errands, what you don’t know won’t hurt you right?

After all he’s grown attached to the role he’s been given as your Housewife <3 

Comments and Reblogs are appreciated!

[celestialtarot11]

Messages from mother earth 🪽🌲

Hey ya’ll!! Back with another post ☺️💗 this one is super interesting and has a lot of endearing messages for ya’ll. I hope you guys enjoy and feel free to comment, like and reblog 🪽✨

• Pile 1: Mother Earth wants to bring you freedom through liberation 🌙✨ releasing through crying, journaling, and letting your body rest is the best way to go through this process. It’s important to give yourself the choice to let go & find deep healing through this. Being around animals is a great way to heal yourself, and builds empathy with the world. Go outside for walks, especially big open spaces. You need to allow yourself to roam freely, emotionally and physically. Crying it out has great benefits and releases hormones so you might feel so much better after, and getting sleep is so important for this group. Find a coffee shop & sit, observe and find stillness. Realize you are part of the community, even if no one knows you. Somehow, you drinking or eating amongst others is not so bad ☕️ you’ll find that you’re handling it well, and its peaceful.

• Pile 2: Take a warm bath with essential oils (if you’re allergic pls do not do this 🤡) or with herbs. Take your time decorating your space, set the mood. Light those candles, play some music, and get into it. Mother nature wants you to connect to your sensuality, divulge in all your senses to create some movement in your energy field. Slowing down with yourself may be the best thing you do all week, so if you have been busy, please slow down. Mother nature has gifts for you too, so if you find people wanting to shower you in compliments, buying you flowers or wanting to hang out, just know thats mother natures way of saying you’re remembered. Buy yourself flowers if no one will, mother nature says having plants in your space will feed you energy 🌲✨ (if ya’ll want a big tree in your room idk about that one) but anyway, slow down & have fun!

• Pile 3: Dress warm mother nature says, if you’re not wearing your scarf or hat please do. Its easy for you to get sick and have digestive issues during the winter. Depending on where you’re at in the world this won’t resonate for all of you. Drink warm stuff and eat soup, soup is for the soul. Nourishment is your theme this month, through food, supplements and body care ☕️✨ manifesting before drinking tea or coffee will help you greatly. Just whisper what you want, drink your coffee/tea, and believe in the magic around you. It will find you. It knows you already. Mother nature wants to shower you in patience, patience is the softest form of love after all. If things have been quiet or slow, this is why. You deserve peace and gentleness. Your heart is big, so if someone is wanting you to be nonchalant, it wont work. You require more, because you can provide it, and that’s valid. Know your worth pile 3’s 🤍

This was so cute and fun to do! Such lovely messages for ya’ll 🤗 I hope this resonated and have a lovely day/night ya’ll!

Book a reading with me here 🤍

[takottais-art]

Charon!!! <3

Edited ↑ + ↓Unedited

I know I haven't fed y'all in a hot minute but like I fell out of love with digital art and back in with traditional I've literally only had this 80 pg. sketchbook for two months and I'm almost done with it lol

Reblog's > likes, please I need validation. Click/tap on image for better quality!

--------------------------------------------

Tag list: @swampbacon @romeoandromeo @goddesslunaris @squid--inc @kooky-spooks @clowniestjoke @gimmedatrn @stickthebonsai @nansblockit @mildlymortified

If you want to be tagged/untagged just comment on this post or shoot me an ask/message, have a wonderful day!

[captainsy-cookiemonster]

Welcome Home

Prompt: Okay! You gonna love this A sandwich.... between....*drum rolls* Mike and Touch Starved!Will … They both brothers, and Mike is a horn dog, while after 3 month parted Will needs a hard release after a stressful business agenda😘😘

Summary: while your one roommate is away, things get steamy with your other roommate. it just so happens that the roommate who was gone comes back while you’re fooling around with the other one. this is fun.

Pairing: bi!Mikey x unnamed OFC x bi!Will Shaw

Warnings: dom x switch x switch, f2l, threeway, p in v sex, oral sex, unprotected sex, cumming inside (on, uhh both ends), grinding, little bit of degradation, implication that Mikey came in his pants while OFC was grinding on him once, my first time writing a threeway, me picking up a wip after moooonths and a very draining semester, hints at a possible polyamorous relationship?, rules of physics? is this even possible? we don’t ask these kinds of questions here sir, the female character is not described beyond having “grip-able” hair however you want to define it, for the sake of not being called inclusive enough for a reader i chose to make her an unspecified OFC

Names used: bunny, good girl, sweetheart, slut, good boy (Mikey), sir (Will)

A/N: I hope you don’t mind that I changed your prompt a little bit. I didn’t really feel comfortable writing them as brothers, so I made them all roommates. Thank you so much @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @littlefreya and @luna-aestas for helping me when i got stuck or felt it sucked. You girls are amazing ❤️ not beta'd much. Typos we're going down swingin'!

Word count: ca 4k

Title: Welcome Home

Writers live off validation. If you liked it please like, comment and reblog 💕 thank you for reading 💖

It started as roommates. As a guy in his junior year, with friends mostly in higher semesters, Will was suddenly left with an empty apartment and a rent that was far too high to handle all by himself. 

That’s when I came into play, a little freshman who happened to not have gotten a dorm room on campus. It was especially convenient since I got a job at the little café just across the street once I was accepted into college. The wage was just enough for rent and food and I was lucky my parents still supported me.

A few weeks into the semester, another boy joined our little arrangement. Mikey was trouble, which, in a way, was good because that meant he was rarely home. He was always out partying, slept during the day, and missed most of his courses. But at least that meant it was quiet when Will and I  had to study or do homework.

That was two years ago. The three of us have become close friends, almost like family. The boys grew protective of their little barista, who would bring them their favorite coffee whenever I came home. They were almost like big brothers. Well… Almost.

Will has finished his bachelor’s by now and is currently building his own startup, while part time working on his master's program.  So he’s still living in the apartment with the two of us.

Well actually… not right now. He had to go away for three months. Something to do with his business, I can’t really remember. 

Three months alone with Mikey have been... interesting, to say the least. And fun. Lots of fun. Take that however you want.

Right now, we're lounging on the couch, watching some silly movie. I couldn't tell the name even with a gun to my head. It’s late, and Mikey's soft, but progressively more daring caress is using up all the focus I can muster. His hand snuck into my shorts and is squeezing my buttcheek. I bite my lip to stifle a whimper and press my thighs together. He does it again, drawing the same reaction from me; except this time, I bury my face into his chest. I can practically feel his smirk and look up to glare at him. I don’t even meet his eyes before his lips catch mine in a sloppy kiss. 

In a scramble of arms and legs, he pulls me to straddle his lap, his hands kneading my ass while mine paw at his chest and neck, tug at his hair, and grip his shoulders. It’s messy. It’s clumsy. It’s desperate. I want more. I need it. I need to be closer, need to feel him everywhere. 

I start grinding my hips into his crotch, feeling him grow. His hands on my hips urge me on, but instead of speeding up, I slow down. Giggling and out of breath, I break the kiss.

“Nuh-uh, remember last time? Not gonna happen again.”

Mikey huffs and rolls his eyes. “That was one time!”

Laughing, I shake my head and lean down to kiss him again. His hands are everywhere, on my ass, my hips, then sliding up my back underneath my shirt. With skilled fingers, he unclasps my bra, pulling the straps off my arms. As it falls between us, I take it and blindly throw it into the room behind us. Faintly, I hear it hitting the floor before my attention focuses on Mikey’s hands sliding up my tummy and letting his thumbs brush over that spot on my ribs. 

I gasp and grind my hips down harder, making him chuckle. In response, I capture his bottom lip between my teeth, tugging and sucking on it a little before releasing it. Can’t have the boy think he’s got the upper hand in this.

But he still thinks he does. His hands find my tits, and the triumphant grin on his face…

“Oh! Your nipples are hard! Is this turning you on, baby?”

Ugh! That boy! 

“No, Mikey. Obviously not.” I roll my eyes and snort. “And what about you? I’m sure you find it absolutely terrible to have me grinding in your lap, hm? As hard as your cock is.”

“Hatin’ it.” He grins and pinches my nipples. “You know what I’d like better?” He leans in, his breath hot against my neck. “If the two of us got naked.”

“Hm, yeah… Now that you’re saying it… that does sound like a good idea.”

Scrambling to my feet, I’m quick to slide down my jogging shorts. I’m about to take off my shirt, when Mikey gets up and stands right in front of me… Entirely naked. Damn, he’s quick!

“Lemme do it?”

I just nod, lifting my arms to assist him, but of course, he takes his sweet time, letting the tips of his fingers glide up my skin underneath the fabric. Of course, he has to squeeze my tits when he reaches them, but he lifts the shirt over my face too quickly for me to glare at him. It doesn’t stop me from trying, though. Once the shirt is off my body and Mikey sees my face, he can’t suppress a chuckle and quickly kisses the tip of my nose to make the glare disappear. To his credit, it works. A hot flush gathers in my cheeks, and I quickly turn around, searching the room for… Damn.

“Be right back,” I tell Mikey over my shoulder, taking off my panties to toss at him, but I’ve already dashed through the door before I know if I hit him or not.

Not even a minute later, I come back to the living room, finding Mikey still where I had left him, with my panties in his hands, grinning to himself, most likely proud of himself for getting me to soak them that much.

“What do you want with that?” he asks once he notices I’m back, eyes on the towel in my hand.

“Well… I thought that Will would appreciate it if he didn’t come home to cum stains on the couch.” I shrug.

“Ohhh, yeah… Probably.”

He takes the towel from my hand and puts it down on the couch, then sits down on it. Mikey pats his thighs, signaling for me to sit, but I look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh!” He grins sheepishly, realizing what I’m looking at and quickly tosses my panties to the floor. He doesn’t even manage to pat his lap again before I climb on top of him. With one hand on my hip, the other on my neck, Mikey pulls me closer until my lips meet his, and the length of his cock rubs against my pussy.

I start to grind my hips into him, throwing my head back at the friction. I feel Mikey’s breath heavy on my neck, then his soft lips on my tender skin. His hands grip me tighter as I move on his cock, pulling my hips deeper into him. By now, the hand he had on my neck has wandered to the back of my head, tugging at my hair to keep my throat exposed to his kisses. I’m sure my neck will be covered in hickeys tomorrow. There’ll be bruises on my hip, too. Fuck! The thought of carrying his marks makes me even wetter. 

“Bunny, I need you,” Mikey pants against my neck. I nod, and he lets me go, so I can sit up. He grips his cock to guide himself in as I hover above his lap, steadying myself with my hands on his shoulders.

“Ready?” I ask.

“Just a second.”

Oh… yeah… Mikey and tits, how could I forget? With my chest on eye level, of course Mikey has to bury his face into it, peppering kisses all over my boobs, sucking and biting at my nipples until I’m a whimpering mess, swaying my hips in the search for friction, inches away from his cock.

“Okay, ready.” He grins, his free hand coming up to my hip to help me ease down on him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! No matter how many times we do it, I’ll never get used to his size. The delicious stretch of being seated on him all the way has me panting.

“Good girl.”

“Mhh.”

For a moment, I just sit there, resting my head against his shoulder while feeling him pulse inside me. I smile against his skin when he begins to gently stroke my back. His hands shift down to my waist when I start to roll my hips slowly. He squeezes my hips, making me lift up and brace myself on his shoulders. 

Gasping, I relish in the feeling of his cock stroking every spot inside me. I go faster. Harder. His hands shift even lower, grabbing at my butt and guiding my movements. 

"Fuck," we sigh in unison, before breaking in a fit of giggles. With heaving breath, I smile at him, wiping a strand of sweaty hair from his brow before cradling the back of his head in my hands, leaning in to kiss him. He kisses back instantly, tongue swiping along my lower lip to request entrance. Opening my mouth for him, I let his tongue explore my mouth, sucking on it and trying to fight for dominance. We both moan into the kiss, the movement of our hips growing more sloppy, rushed.

"Hey, uh… Oh."

We jump at the familiar voice. Wide-eyed, we turn towards the door, where we find a very flustered looking Will. The thud of his bag hitting the floor makes my eyes snap to his hand that dropped it, then the prominent bulge in the front of his jeans. Once my eyes find his face again, I can spot the hint of a smirk playing around his lips.

"Uhm." Mikey's voice is a little shaky. I feel him twitch inside me. I look back at him, raising my eyebrows in question. He gives me a nod and grinning, I nod back. 

"Will! C'mere." I turn towards him and gesture for him to come closer. He hesitates for a moment before finally taking determined steps towards Mikey and me. 

Standing in front of us, Will leans down to meet my face. his hand reaches up to caress my cheek and I lean into it, missing the gentle touch when his hand wanders down. I gasp when I feel his fingers lightly squeezing my throat, my eyes fluttering shut when he gets even closer. His kiss is still rougher than expected, his tongue claiming dominance right away. I feel myself clenching around Mikey’s cock, a new wave of wetness soaking his lap. Will breaks the kiss way too soon. I try to chase his lips as he pulls back, but he keeps my head in place with his hand around my throat. Smiling while I pout at him, he turns to Mikey.

“Has she been good?”

I feel Mikey shuffle to sit up straighter. A moment passes before he can answer, stunned and with his mouth hanging open slightly. “Yes.” Another moment before he adds an uncertain “...sir?”

Will just nods before finally sitting down right next to Mikey. “You’re gonna be a good girl for me too?”

All I can do is bite my lip and nod. As a reward he grabs my neck again and pulls me in for another deep kiss that leaves me breathless.

Feeling Mikey’s cock twitch inside me, I start grinding on him again. Hot breath against my ear and suddenly there is a pair of lips sucking on my neck. I whimper against Will’s lips when Mikey starts to graze his teeth over the sensitive skin below my ear.

Once Will allows me a moment to breathe again, I kiss my way down to his neck. It’s so much rougher than Mikey’s, the well grown out stubble leaves my lips tingling. I feel him turning his head and his Adam's apple bob against my kiss. At first I think it was to give me better access, but from above me I hear the unmistakable sound of a hesitant but needy kiss. 

Are they- ? Oh fuck, why is that so hot?

Mikey must have felt me squeezing around him because a moment later his hand that was still on my body pushes me to adjust on his cock by the small of my back, nudging against that spot, making me gasp. Being so focused on the changed sensation inside of me, I haven’t even noticed how my nails have started to dig into Will’s chest, until I hear his groan. It wasn’t a pained groan, more like he was enjoying it. Maybe even a little too much. I took that for a sign to take the next step and while he and Mikey are still making out, I start to unbutton Will’s shirt, kissing and nibbling at every inch of skin I uncovered, making sure to scrape my nails down his chest as I go. The lower I go, the more he tangles his fingers into my hair, pushing me further. Once I reach the waistline of his jeans, nuzzle my nose against the thick hair of his happy trail and look up at him with big eyes.

“Can I?” I ask, with my hands on his thighs, close to his crotch.

“Can you what? C’mon, be a good girl. Use your words.”

Wow, those three months really changed him.

I swallow a little nervously and nod before I try again. “Can I take your cock out? I wanna taste it.”

Waiting for an answer, I watch as Mikey sucks on the side of Will’s neck, making him throw his head back and groan.

“Please… sir?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, you can.”

With eager fingers I unbutton his jeans and fumble a little before I manage to pull down the zipper. Already starting to drool with anticipation, I tug at his boxers. He lifts his hips to help me and finally I’m met with the sight of his hard cock springing free.

He is a bit thicker than Mikey, but they’re about the same length. Taking hold of him, I give the head a gentle little kiss before sticking out my tongue to collect the small drop of pre cum leaking from the tip.

“Mmm, good girl,” Will hums and strokes my hair. “Suck on it, c’mon.”

I nod before I take him in my mouth, just the head, suckling on it and toying with it a little with my tongue.

The moan that comes out of his mouth… I’ve never heard anything sexier. It has me squeezing around Mikey unconsciously. 

“Fuuuuuck,” I hear him mutter into Will’s neck. 

The wave of confidence that washes over me at the fact I’m pleasuring not one but two men makes me take Will deeper into my mouth. I hollow my cheeks and press my tongue against the underside of his cock, slowly taking more of him. As I keep bobbing my head up and down his grip on my hair becomes tighter and more and more moans fall from his mouth .

The tingling sensation that spreads through my body from that makes me try to take him even deeper, until I start gagging and my eyes begin to water. By now, my nose is pressing into his hip.

“I can’t… I can’t!” I suddenly hear Mikey wheeze. Will immediately lets go of my hair and I hurry to get off Mikey’s lap.

“What is it?” 

I’m stunned at how calmly Will asks that while I’m staring at a panting Mikey, almost panicking.

“I fucking need…” he wheeses again. Both Will and I stare at him, anxiously waiting for him to continue. “... to get off!” 

I let out a sigh of relief, watching Will chuckle and playfully nudge Mikey with his elbow. The younger man smiles sheepishly and scratches the back of his head.

“I was serious about it, though. So-” he drags out the word “- can we like… get started?”

 I nod slowly, feeling their eyes on me, and look towards Will for guidance.

“How do you want to do this?” He asks me gently, and I shrug, unsure. “Okay then, c'mere.”

While I get closer, he stands up and rearranges the towel so it covers most of the couch and drapes over the armrest, causing Mikey to jump up as well.

“Now, can you get on your hands and knees for us?” Will nearly coos, still it feels like he’s giving no room for discussion. “Isn’t she such a good girl for us?” I can hear him ask Mikey, now behind my back, and I can only imagine Mikey nodding while giving Will puppy dog eyes. “And you? You’re gonna be a good boy for us and let her suck you off.” Again, no room for discussion.

I shuffle closer to the couch's armrest, balancing my weight on my elbows on it, and give Mikey a reassuring nod. He swallows a little nervously, looking at Will, who's getting into position behind me. I lean forward to give Mike a small kiss to his hip bone, then nuzzle my face against the base of his cock. He cups my cheek with one hand, stroking his thumb across my bottom lip when I lean into him, while his other hand grips the base of his cock. I open my lips a bit and suckle on the tip of his thumb as he gently brings my face and himself into position. He pulls his finger from my mouth and I open my lips wider, giving the tip of his cock a little lick, looking up at him through my lashes to see his reaction. He groans and throws his head back. That’s when I take the head in my mouth and start playing with it with my tongue.

Behind me, Will puts a hand on my hip to hold me steady, with the other, he grabs is cock and swipes it up and down on my lips, coating himself in my juices.

“Fuck, you’re so wet!” He groans and pushes in a little. I let out a moan around Mikey’s cock, making him shiver in response. Will slowly keeps pushing in, a deep moan escaping him once he bottoms out. I can only whimper around Mikey’s cock, feeling so full already. 

“Now just stay still, baby, we’ve got you,” Will says, if a little bit strained. I nod as much as I can and look up at Mikey, who’s still holding my face. He pushes himself a little bit deeper into my mouth. I can still taste myself on him as I suck. Will starts moving, thrusting in a slow and steady rhythm, pushing me down on Mikey’s cock with every time his hips meet mine. Again, I moan around Mikey, whose hands start wandering to my hair and grips it to push himself further down my throat. My eyes begin to water when Will picks up the pace, making me take Mikey even deeper. The room is filled with the beautifully filthy sounds of the two men groaning in erotic harmony, skin slapping on skin and my strangled moans as I gag around Mikey’s cock.

“You’re being so good, bunny,” Mikey praises, breathing heavily. “So good for us,” Will adds. “Letting us use you like a little slut.” I can’t help but whimper at that, squeezing around Will’s cock. 

“Oh? Did you like that?” Will leans down closer to my ear, whispering, “You like it when I call you slut?” I nod as much as I can with Mikey in my mouth. “You’re so filthy. Nothing more than a toy for us to use.”

He fucks me harder, making me whimper and take Mikey even deeper. Tears are beginning to stream down my face, but it all feels so good. I can’t help but clench around him, the coil in my belly starting to tighten. 

So it takes me by surprise when Will suddenly slows to a stop. A little out of breath he says, “This isn’t it. Let’s take this to the bedroom.” 

Mikey nods, pulling from my mouth and Will picks me up, carrying me over to the bedrooms. My mind is far too lazy to see whose bedroom we end up in when Will tosses me onto the bed with a bounce.

“Let your head hang over the edge. Yes, just like this, good girl.”

I watch upside down as Mikey kneels down by my head, positioning himself. I open my mouth widely, obediently and he pushes his cock back into my mouth. Closing my eyes, I start sucking on him again as Will climbs up over me, kneels on the bed and grabs my thighs. He doesn’t make me wait long and thrusts back in in one smooth movement. I moan loudly around Mikey’s cock when he bottoms out, finally feeling full again. Complete, in a sense.

Before he begins to thrust, though, he pulls my hips up onto his legs, making me arch my back and take Mikey deeper down my throat. All three of us moan in sinful harmony, skin slapping and wet slurping composing a filthy melody of bliss. With the new angle, I can feel the burning coil tightening faster as the tip of Will’s cock strokes all the spots perfectly, the base of him rubbing against my clit. My moans rise in pitch, even muffled by Mikey fucking my face. His hips begin to stutter, he’s close as well. Will, of course, notices that and picks up his pace, fucking me faster.

Fuck! This feels so good!

Mikey’s groans mix with little gasps as I feel him twitch. He’s close, I can tell. I use my tongue to play with him, eliciting little whimpers from him.

“S-sir, ‘m so close… can I cum? Please?” Mikey begs between little gasps and whines.

“Go a-head,” Will tells him, his own voice strained as well. I brace myself, sucking Mikey harder. A few more thrusts into my mouth and he stills, whimpering loudly as his warm load hits my tongue. I swallow it down eagerly, but gasp when he pulls out of my mouth. I take a few deep breaths as I watch him stand and jerk himself, another, smaller load landing on my chest.

“Fuuuck,” he groans.

“Good boy,” Will praises him, doubling his efforts now, fucking me even harder. His hand comes up to my chest, grabbing and kneading my tits for a moment before swiping two fingers through Mike’s cum and bringing those fingers down to my clit, drawing slow but firm circles around the little bud. I cry out, clenching hard around him. The coil keeps growing tighter until it… Snaps. With a high pitched moan, I fall over the edge, white hot bliss carrying me as my body writhes in pleasure. Through a haze I can hear Will groan and feel a warmth spreading inside me. I open up my eyes to see him hovering above me, dipping his head down to meet my lips in a passionate kiss. I kiss him back eagerly, letting our tongues fight for dominance until we need to stop for air. Will sits up again, reaches out an arm and pulls in Mikey for a just as passionate kiss. I watch them, a satiated smile on my face. I get up on my knees, squeezing between them to kiss their necks and chests alternately. Once the part, the three of us collapse on the bed naked and panting, a tangled mess of limbs. 

“You know…” Mikey breathes heavily, “we were going to throw you a welcome home partly…”

Will chuckles at that, “You still could…”

I just shake my head, giggling. “Let’s just order pizza.”

[chaithetics]

I was rewatching season 3(the Kendall birthday episode) and I thinking, maybe Stewy and Porce are married, or other story of course; and the part where Ken takes the siblings to see the mocking pictures and it could have one of Porce and Stewy together and Kendall "jokes" about the "crying baby and the shark" and it really upsets her(as it should) and even the siblings are upset by this, and she just turns to him and says "this is why my kids are playing with their cousins(Sophie and Iverson) ,so they don't grow up like you" and goes away. I think that'd be powerful, because the kids have a true bond, Rava and Porce are true friends and Ken is a j*rk, and when Stewy finds out, there'll be a reckoning

Porcelain and the Shark: Too Much Birthday

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader

(reader has anxiety, no use of y/n, physical descriptions or other names but does have the nickname Porcelain/Porce - due to family viewing her that way not because of her complexion)

Word count: 3.1K

Chapter warning: 18+ MDNI (smut-free fic) established relationship, fluff, soft Stewy, anxious reader, some familial angst, some cussing, some misogynistic views, Roys being Roys.

Authors note: Thank you so much for sending this in lovely Nonnie! It was such an inspiring ask, I hope you don't mind the few changes I made, please do let me know what you think! I adore you! I'm so glad to be out of hospital and after reading this prompt I was inspired to rewatch this S3 episode. I went a little off-track and I think this one is a bit different to other fics but I made the connection about the misogynistic tones with this and also the poster that Shiv had and saw it as a great opportunity to explore and develop Porce and Shiv's dynamic. Especially with all the asks about girlhood in film and then with the Barbie film re-prompting those conversations I just wanted to explore it even more (this doesn't have Barbie spoilers or mentions btw) so I finished it pretty quickly. It's nice to be back! I'm still pretty unwell despite being out of the hospital so I can't promise or commit to a writing schedule again yet but I'll definitely still be writing more Stewy (I've had a few Barbie inspired asks which I want to get around to asap as well haha). I appreciate you all and I hope you enjoy this! Please do let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it! Comments, reblogs and asks are more than welcome and appreciated! I adore you all! 💗(PS this hasn't been proofread..."

*****************************

Kendall was sensitive, controlling, and obsessive. Which often manifested around certain significant events and moments in his life. It was a quality all of the Roy children seemed to share to an extent, you’d seen it in your siblings numerous times and even occasionally yourself. 

Kendall’s birthdays were often disastrous, he wanted perfection, he wanted to fill the hollowness inside with extravagance, validation and company. But it never quite was good enough, it was always disappointing and fell through somehow. You knew the self-created stakes would be even higher for Kendall as it was a ‘significant’ birthday along with the latest edition of family drama. Shiv’s letter had hit pretty hard and far. 

You weren’t sure if any of your siblings would go, probably Connor, loyal as always. Rome? Maybe? He had an interesting, pained soft spot for Kendall. Shiv…? You’d think she wouldn’t want to show after recent events but Shiv was cunning and clever. She could show up to play a mind game perhaps? Or maybe they’d show up on behalf of your dad to really get into Kendall’s head. Would your father even attend? You assumed he’d been invited. 

It was a lot of questions swirling around in your mind, you weren’t sure of any of those answers. Which was part of the reason why you were certain you needed to go, some visible and physical support for Kendall as you knew he’d be crumbling, you’d all been walking on eggshells your whole lives but the last few years for Kendall, they’d been getting more and more brittle. 

You feel a little anxious as you’re stuck so deep inside your head until a familiar and soft voice brings you back. 

“Where’d you go?” 

His tone is laced with neutrality and an air of caution but his face clearly says that he thinks this is all a bad idea. He looks at you sitting down, facing the mirror, he thinks you look gorgeous but he notices your legs bouncing now that you’re back in reality. 

“I was just thinking about Ken.” You try to keep your voice level, without a drop of any emotion. 

“We don’t have to go-” 

“No-”

“I don’t think we should go.” Stewy resigns. It’s at least the twelfth time he’s said it today. 

Stewy hadn’t RSVP’d, he hadn’t acknowledged his separate invitation to yours and had been somewhat silent regarding Kendall. Which was extremely unusual. He didn’t like the direction of the mess of Waystar’s strategic and boardroom politics and his relationship with your family personally and professionally was strained. 

You had to go to Kendall’s birthday to support him and you didn’t want to go alone. You felt bad about it but you and Stewy were both aware that the optics of Stewy being there was beneficial for Kendall’s sake. 

“I know.” You sigh as you shift a little so that your head is facing him more as you look up at him standing. “He needs this though…And I need you.” You walk over to Stewy, giving him a gentle peck on his soft lips. “Please?” You press your lips against his and wrap your arms around the back of his neck as it deepens, his tongue brushes against yours and your hand tangles a little in his hair as you feel his hands wrap securely around your waist. 

“We’ll just go for a little bit?” Your voice is soft as you break away from the kiss, you start to caress his cheek, your fingers dancing over his handsome beard that never ceases to amaze you with how well-trimmed and clean it is. Stewy tilts his head to gently lean his forehead against yours and nods as he inhales. 

“You’re too good to me.” You whisper as you give him another kiss on the lips, you can taste the whiskey on him from his drink that’s sitting across the room half-empty. He’s sweet and his touch is so gentle with you. 

“Well you’re perfect, you deserve nothing less baby.” He says as he gives you a quick but soft kiss on the lips. “Now, am I matching my turtleneck to what you’re wearing?” He asks with a smug smile. You laugh a little at that and nod, giving his cheek another stroke and then a quick peck on his lips before he squeezes your side and then walks over to the walk-in wardrobe. 

****************************

You’d always been anxious about the concept of nannies and babysitters and when those services had been needed you’d preferred to have Connor (when possible) and Stewy’s family watch your children. But you trusted Rava with your life, you adored her and you knew she adored Sophie and Iverson more than anything. So with her reassurance, your children were with their cousins and would be looked after by Rava’s nanny. Sophie had been loudly looking forward to some quality time with her younger cousins which was sweet. 

Those thoughts and the anxiety you’d had quickly left your mind though as you and Stewy walked into the venue and through what you were horrified and shocked to learn was a model of Caroline’s vagina. 

“Do you think he talked to her about…this…?” You asked Stewy with widened eyes as you waved your hand around gesturing to the bizarre scene of a campy body horror film in front of you. 

“No.” Stewy said as his eyes flitted across the room once again to take in the nurses, surgical equipment and very briefly, a “replica” of his mother-in-law's vagina. It was beyond reason, even for Kendall. “They don’t talk in the first place.” He spoke as his hand wrapped around your waist a bit tighter, pulling you in closer as he then navigated you both towards the bar. Stewy was certain alcohol would be necessary to make this night bearable, it was inevitable that someone would blow up.

As you and Stewy stand by the bar waiting for your drinks a man comes over, you don’t think you’ve seen him before and you’re not the biggest fan of the smug expression on his face as his eyes hone in on you. 

“Hey, I’m Kyle.” He says boldly, Stewy’s right next to you with his hand on the small of your back. Your ring is visibly on your finger. You’re kind of surprised at the audacity of him, especially with Stewy right next to you. You look at him a bit confused, hoping he’ll end it but his smile persists. “So what’s your name?” 

You say your first name as Stewy wraps his arms around you, leaning against your back with his head on your shoulder, making a point. 

“Shit, you’re a Roy?!” Kyle asks, you see the flash of excitement in his eyes at that prospect. It grosses you out. 

“Hosseini Roy.” You say somewhat firmly, as Stewy quirks an eyebrow and then starts to press some kisses to your shoulder and your exposed neck. 

“Right, where’s your husband Ms Roy?” Kyle asks. You don’t know if he’s a stupid asshole or an arrogant one but you know for sure he’s one either way. You feel Stewy chuckle a little at that as the movement of it and its breath tickles your neck. 

“The international space station-” You dramatically quip, and Stewy stops his kisses for a moment to laugh at that against your neck. This stranger is being ridiculous and so you may as well if he’s going to be so oblivious, it just so happened to be convenient that Tillie really liked space books and toys at the moment. 

“That must be lonely-” Kyle cuts you off and the smirk on his face is too much. You scrunch your face up at him in annoyance. 

“Can’t you see that my husband is here? Literally right here?! The whole time you’ve been doing this. Why the cuss did my brother invite you?” You ask with an eye roll as you take Stewy’s hand and walk off before Kyle has a chance to say anything else.

“What a douche.” You say as you lean your head against Stewy’s arm. He pecks a kiss to the top of your forehead with a grin on your face. 

“You handled that impeccably.” He says with a small chuckle. 

“Well, your act was pretty good.” You say moving your hand to rest against his back and trace patterns there. 

“The international space station, I’ve never been. Do you think it has some villas with good views?” He asks playfully.  

“Possibly. I don’t think we should invest in space tourism or realty though.” You answer and he laughs. 

“Does Tillie think I’m an astronaut?” He asks, thinking about Tillie’s fascination with space. 

“No. She’s never said it and I haven’t told her that. But I do think our children are far too young to understand the financial market.” 

“You sure? I’d understand if you were worried Jonathan was going to mansplain stocks to you.” Stewy teases, as he presses another kiss to your head as you scoff. 

“We’ll leave the mansplaining to you, darling.” You say tilting your head up from his arm to press a kiss to his lips, they’re soft and warm. He looks at you with a large smile. 

It’s not long after that that somebody who knows Stewy through work comes over and the three of you have a conversation for a few minutes, you’re pressed into Stewy’s side with his arm around you. You tilt your head and then you see Shiv and Roman coming in and then there’s Ken. 

You’re stuck inside with a hit of worry at first, you look at your handsome husband as he’s mid-sentence talking to this finance bro that you’re not the biggest fan of but who is considerably less gross than Kyle. As Stewy finishes his sentence you quickly cut in placing a hand gently on his cheek, he leans into the touch and looks into your eyes affectionately. 

“Sorry, Kendall’s over there, I’m going to go over. I’ll find you after okay?” You ask. 

“Yeah, of course, baby.” He nods and your lips brush for a quick affectionate kiss, you apologise to the man that you’ve been in a conversation with who nods as you walk off. 

You walk over to where three of your siblings are discussing and come over when you hear Shiv saying she couldn’t find a card that said “Happy birthday” and “Get well soon” You look at her with a somewhat pointed expression, she shrugs slightly and raises her eyebrows at you. 

After he hugs Shiv, Kendall’s eyes land on you and he smiles. You can tell that he’s glad Shiv and Roman came, even if they’re biting him. It makes you sad but you’re glad that he at least has some solace in that. There’s a bit of banter and you do raise your eyebrows when Roman asks about the vagina replica. When he does his little pleased expression and gesture at being told he can take it home you glare at him. 

“Roman!” You exclaim and he smirks at you. 

When Shiv asks if Stewy is there, there’s a pointed look from her, some smugness and a pointed look from Kendall but it’s different. It’s more desperate. You nod. 

“Yeah, uh- Stewy’s here. He was talking to some finance bro. He’ll come over soon Ken. I just wanted to say hi first” You say. You’re not sure if it’s a half-lie or not yet. But you know it’s better for Kendall’s sake for you to say it, he nods at that and there’s a look in his eyes that you can’t read but boy does it worry you. Shiv drops a few more names and it’s very clear that she and Roman showed up to use it as a business opportunity. 

“Hey, I got something to show you. This way. This way!” Kendall says somewhat excitedly and then walks ahead with the Roy siblings following him. 

You watch Roman hand Kendall an envelope and after that he retreats back a bit for Shiv to go ahead of him, you raise your eyebrows at him and he raises them back at you. 

“Please tell me you’re not stirring the pot?” You ask quietly as you walk side by side. 

“I’m not- it’s nice- it’s nice. It’ll be good for Ken.” Roman says, his tone is earnest which surprises you. 

Kendall then grabs your attention by talking about what he’s going to show you, you recognise some of the names and you’re intrigued by whatever it is based on that and Kendall’s imagination. 

You walk into a room that’s being used as an art gallery space. As you walk in your eyes are immediately assaulted by the fictional headline of Roman. Roman’s response is more upbeat and amused than the tone of his voice or his facial expression. You can see it in his eyes, he’s retreated somewhat and he seems to get lost the longer he looks at it. Everyone knows of his intimacy issues and it’s cruel to point them out in this way you think. 

You look at Shiv’s and you just feel angry. It’s a pit in your stomach of fire and you don’t feel this way often, it’s an odd feeling but it’s strong. Connor gets angry with Kendall over his and you understand that but you’re more focused on this. What was Kendall saying? Adding more stigma and cruel jokes onto sex workers? Shaming his sister for her sexuality? Reducing her to just an anti-feminist sex joke? 

Shiv’s bobbed around hers and then her eyes land on your one. You turn, already upset at Shiv’s as you clock her shocked gaze at yours before you get a chance to look at it, to process it. 

It’s an image of you from your childhood as a baby, it’s been digitally altered so that you’re a baby and you’re in shark-infested waters. You read the headline and comments and feel tears forming in your eyes and they’re hot. Your eyes flit between yours and Shiv, Shiv’s doing her best to hide her discomfort. 

Shiv looks at you, her eyes silently saying “I can’t say anything.” And she can’t. You know that. Each step of hers is a careful calculation to avoid the emotional, hormonal, overbearing, hypersensitive, incompetent woman accusations they already throw at her. Whether it’s unspoken or spoken, and it’s both, they all say her head is unfit for that coveted heavy crown. 

As a woman, sister, and mother, it’s already there. Your fate, reputation, and purpose. You’re emotional, a crybaby, sensitive and hormonal. But unlike your siblings, and well Shiv, you do not need nor want that tragic fate that they all betray each other for. While there is a sting in providing them ammunition for those perceived claims from your actions and words, it won’t kill you in the same way. You give Shiv a small nod, a silent “I know.” That is only for her. 

“What the absolute fuck Ken?” You ask, he looks at you with raised eyebrows. 

“What?” He asks with a chuckle. 

“What the fuck is this?” You ask gesturing behind you to the large images of you and Shiv in your brother’s eyes. 

“It’s a joke, c’mon you don’t need to uh get so emotional about it-” He says and you let out a humourless laugh at that. 

“Kendall?! This is disgusting! You’ve reduced Shiv to ‘wife of Tom Wamsgams’ yes, because that’s all she is?! A wife? Oh, and it’s an embarrassing joke to say she’s a sex worker?! So your Times Up campaign is just strictly performative? Mr Fuck the Patriarchy is actually a SWERF trying to humiliate his sister and women for an already stigmatised career? And this is coming from the fact that Shiv has a sexuality…?” You question, he looks at you, not saying a word. Shiv stands near you watching you carefully, as Roman looks down uncomfortably and Connor and Willa stand together tensely. You’ve never spoken out like this against any of them. 

“And what is this?” You exclaim as you point to the image behind you. “I’m your sister, you’re meant to care about me. Not infantilise me like that and make cruel, perverted jokes about my marriage. It’s sick Kendall. Stewy and I are there for our kids- we probably see Sophie and Iverson more than you do. This is why they’re close and Rava and I work so hard with them all, so they don’t end up doing this.” You breathe out shakily for a second, Connor looks at you sympathetically, Shiv is still silent but she’s grateful for everything being said. The tears are hot and burn your cheeks where they stay. “You have no idea what it’s like and you’re part of the problem. This is just cruel and it all reeks of so much fucking misogyny. I’ve-I’ve defended you. I’ve defended and supported you my whole life- I didn’t, I didn’t even sign that letter because it was harsh and cold but this is misogynistic and disgusting. This is just so mean and gross.” You finish.

“Fuck off.” Kendall says, it’s somewhat playfully, he has a smirk on his face but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“I can’t do this Ken, I can’t. You need to reflect on this and just do better. For us, Rava, Sophie. Just everyone.” You sigh out as more tears come, there’s nothing else to say to him and you’re ready to leave.

Shiv looks at you again, it’s not a scowl or an attempt at nonchalance. It’s also not a smile but her facial expression has softened. There’s another silent conversation, one that surprises you both as they often happen with every other sibling you have except each other. For you both, it’s a moment of understanding. It’s a genuine thank you and the usual, unusual display of Roy love and affection. You both do care about the other and you’re bonded in the impossible difficulties of being a woman. A brief few seconds of sisterhood are shared between you both. For possibly the first time, and even though you both know Shiv may never see you as more than competition due to her nature and your upbringing, you hope it’s not the last time. 

You nod looking at her, giving her a small, tight-lipped smile and then leave the room to find Stewy. Shiv watches you leave and gives your quickly retreading silhouette a small smile.

[topgunreacts]

Ayo! Greetings! I hope you are doing pretty well! I’m really sorry for asking this as I’m truly in dire need of help. My cat needs some immediate help for her surgery so I’m trying to raise some funds for her. If you have some spare time, please check it out the post that I have pinned for her, and if you feel it in your heart to help, please do us the favor by boosting the post or share it! Even if you cannot donate, spreading the word is definitely more than enough. Thank you for your kindness, and so sorry again for being this direct! <33

THIS IS A SCAMMER

But how do I know? And shouldn’t I reblog it just in case? It’s a valid concern. Fortunately, there are a few quick steps anyone can take to assess the validity of a charity request. Because at the end of the day, spreading a just-in-case message can have real negative consequences as other people continue to spread the scam on a just-in-case basis.

A sense of urgency (sickness, eminent surgery, etc)

They ask you directly to give them something

Familiarity, such as calling you “dear” or “hun”

Comments turned off

New account with few if any posts

Direct messages that ask for privacy in the matter

Use of pets, children, irrelevant mention of demographics (please help a disabled queer single parent feed their sick cat, etc)

No response to requests for more information

Copy and paste message that gets sent to numerous people

Photos that do not match up with the origin as found through reverse image search

Lack of creativity: you receive a similarly or identically worded request from a random account

Melodramatic backstory--we rescued this cat from an alligator attack that almost took the cat's eye!

Donation account linked to a country at high risk for hosting scam operations

And others. These are not ironclad rules, nor do they always show up in every scam post. Maybe they ARE a disabled queer single parent who can't afford to feed their sick cat. But these elements are patterns you can look for in order to make an informed judgment call. There is at least one popular tumblr account here that will not post any donation links unless the asker fills out a form allowing the account holder to independently prove their identity and issue. If a person is truly desperate and actually needs help, they will fill out that form. Asking for more information is always a good idea, as is doing a reverse image search to see where else the photos might have been posted. Checking keywords on tumblr is also a good bet. Remember: posting lies is quick and easy. Providing proof is not. And that’s critical if money is involved.

Scammers suck. But some of them are very good at what they do. They are masters of using people’s guilt and empathy against them.

Let's dig deeper.

First, let's check out that melodramatic backstory. It's a doozy!

It was actually her Birthday yesterday….well her gotcha Birthday! We found her on our balcony 4 years ago after an awful noise was heard and I still don’t know if she jumped up scared from something or if she was thrown on there 😔 She wasn’t chipped. Vet said it looked like she hadn’t long had kittens and looked about 3 years old herself. Couldn’t find her owners, so she joined our family. (Oh I looked for kittens believe me) She is the sweetest girl we ever met. She even purrs when she sleeps 😻we so love her. We just very recently lost our cat Mimi. She had cancer sadly but we fought so hard to help her but in the end it won. We have an elderly dog called Billa who just two weeks ago turned 20!!!! Any day now we could lose her, she’s feeling her age 😔 I mention those two because it’s just too overwhelming and feels like Maggie is the only one I can help now. Upon an annual vet visit recently with Maggie….so I could get flea meds for her and her brother Milow that they were due to have…the vet found she had two masses….or tumors. One at the bottom of her back next to her tail (I don’t know how I didn’t see it before I’m so ashamed) and when she pressed on her stomach, my loving Maggie started growling which I can honestly say in the time we’ve had her she’s never done that. We did an X-ray and she found a mass in her stomach 😔 we also did a biopsy. This is just so unexpected and so overwhelming after losing Mimi and knowing we will be losing Billa soon…just can’t lose Maggie also. I hate being in this position. I really pay forward as much as I can. I’ve helped out a couple of women with bags and cases of food for the cat colony’s they feed. One woman with food who has a lot of fosters who needed help with food. I think it’s 3 different pet surgeries I’ve helped contribute to for their treatment. It sucks to be on this side now but I’m really praying somehow it might be my turn to get some help to help Maggie get her ct scan so they can figure out the surgery route to remove the tumor from her stomach. I wish I was in a better situation at this moment to not need any help. We’ve always been there to help our babies no matter what they’ve needed, you have to try at least to help them.. And we’ve been able to pay for it ourselves until now. Now I’m able to work here, it can help set us up for future pet issues….I mean, we do everything for these guys including going to work lol but I’ve literally only had my permanent status the last few days instead of visas and it’s all been on my hubby until now who has been amazing, but after paying for Mimi’s help and then end of life, my flight to and from England for my immigration and all those fees and just paying for everything on his own…there’s a lack of funds now. I just want Maggie to get some help and will somehow have to make this happen for her, so please if you have the means to, you can donate to my paypal which is linked down below

Come on, dude. At least be creative. Please make note of the highlights: dramatic injury, insistence (with evidence!) that the scammer is a Good Person Who Gives Back, Cancer Cat & Old Dog supporting characters, immigration drama regarding visas, sick cat had kittens that were never found, etc.

[speculation incoming] Also, laws regarding the importation of pet animals from other countries are strict, and always involve a vet visit. I doubt a vet would clear a cat with tumors to fly out of the country. Even if they did, the timeline here is weird. This vet clinic is in California. [speculation over]

Okay now let's look at these photos. (PSSST I instantly knew this person was a scammer because I've seen these exact x-rays and screenshots on other posts with different cat images. That's something else to look for. Scammers want to expend as little energy as possible in their hunt for your money.)

Where is the scam coming from?

Hovering over the Paypal link, I see the account is located in the Philippines, a country with a high risk of scam hosting. Red flags on red flags.

How to Reverse Image Search

Find a search engine that will let you search by image. This is Google Images on a Firefox browser on PC. Clicking the little camera gives me the option to upload, paste, or give the URL to a photo.

This time, the photo search wasn't helpful. There were no identical matches that Google picked up right away. But I'm including how to do this anyway because it's good to know.

Search Tumblr

We all know tumblr search sucks, but after looking up "cat scam" in the search bar, I found Everything.

Wait a minute.

SHIT THEY GOT MAVERICK POST CANCELED

@kyra45 appears to have amassed some good resources for finding and documenting these scams.

Be aware, be smart, report scam accounts for spam, block them, and do not post donation links "just in case."