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incorrect-marauders · 5 years

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THE OWLS ARE IN! IT’S TIME FOR THE SURVEY RESULTS!

So, as many of our followers are probably aware, we recently did a survey to get a feel of what people thought of our blog. We got a total of 57 results and we are grateful to each and every one of you for taking the time to let us know your thoughts. Now, we’re here to share the general consensus of what people thought and how we will accommodate these opinions.

We’ll definitely have some changes to the blog, so read on to see what those changes are!

Before we begin, we have a few things to briefly mention.

The results are pretty scattered. We didn’t want to restrict anyone, so most were free response or included “Other”. In hindsight, there were a few questions that could have easily been multiple choice without really restricting anyone. (Side eyes the first question.) Therefore, most of these will just summarize the results we got. Occasionally drop the graph for the multiple choice questions.

Because of the large amount of responses we got, not every answer will be listed here. We highlighted the things that were either most commonly mentioned or had us thinking the most.

If anyone would like to see the full results for some reason (par the names, to keep anonymity), feel free to email us at [email protected] and we’ll send it over!

And yes, we are making changes to accommodate these results! That’s what this survey was all about!

We’ll be opening applications for new mods within the next couple days as well.

We’ll have a tiny hiatus as all of this is going on.

Now, we begin...

How long have you been following incorrect-marauders?

The most popular answer seemed to be around 2 months or 10 months. A lot of people filling out this survey seemed to either be relatively new or here since the beginning. Kudos to you incorrect-marauders veterans, and welcome newer followers!

How did you find incorrect-marauders?

Somewhat as we expected. Keep reblogging us, lovely people!

What do you love MOST about incorrect-marauders?

"It's funny.” (x50)

No really, we got 50 variations of “It’s funny,” “It’s hilarious,” “The humour,” “The funny text posts.”

Thanks, we appreciate it!

“How weirdly in character the quotes always are.”

(Similar variations include, “How actually accurate your post are,” “That not every post is as funny, imho, but that they do keep true to the characters,” “How much they fit the characters.”)

“They offer new content to the Marauders 'franchise' as it were because some stuff within the fandom is constantly being reused.”

“How correct it actually is if Joanne made it canon.”

“McGonagall with the marauders and that the sources are listed.”

“Accurate representation, variety of ships and relationships, isnt toxic.”

“Very funny and can be great art/writing prompts.”

“The taste.”

“EVERYTHING.”

These are all very nice, thank you all. Glad we hit where we were aiming.

What do you love LEAST about incorrect-marauders?

The most common response was, “Nothing,” or a variation thereof, but that’s no fun for this question, so here are some of the legitimate criticisms we received!

“Quote sources, I think, occasionally aren't there.”

Our original quotes often don’t have sources. But if there’s one where a mod forgot to credit a source, please just message us and one of the admins will fix that!

“There isn't a particularly nice aesthetic to the blog, e.g. a matching layout and profile picture or quote.”

Yeah, we’re working to fix that. I like pretty blogs too.

“Could be updated a little more.”

(”Not much posting in my opinion,” “Long time between posts.”)

Strangely enough, we got this a few times but our later poll about how often to post were contradicting this. So, unfortunately, we will not be adjusting this.

“I mean I would say that Peter is on it, but can’t really get rid of him...”

(Got a few of these, like, ”Peter being seen as a good person.”)

Sorry!

“Some are a bit too small.”

“I don’t like the long quotes.”

Well, then.

“Seeing my #notp but that isnt rly a minus?? Its called diversity so im not gonna hate or anything.”

Thank you for appreciating the diversity. We get occasional hate over it, but we also get hate over not posting some of the other ships. I suppose that’s what happens when you have lots of different followers of different opinions.

“If I send you a text post you credit the source in # but i'd like you to include a link to my tumblr in the post itself so people would actually find my tumblr. I doent send you text posts anymore, cause it doesn't really profit me and it feels like you get credit for my work.”

We’re sorry you feel that way. We always put it in the tags, just in front of the source. We are more of a mod-based blog rather than a submission-based blog. Anyone is welcome to submit, but about 98% of our posts are created by our mods.

“Sometimes I feel like the wrong characters were chosen or not well thought out.”

We can assure you our mods put a lot of thought into what characters to use, but you are welcome to message us with your own suggestion! (But please note that we are a Marauders blog; we got a few comments about how we don’t post enough Hinny or Romione, but that’s not what our blog is about.)

What makes incorrect-marauders stand out?

Once again, we got a lot about how funny we are, so we’ll skip over those and highlight the more unique answers!

"They don't use things from other people without credit.”

“The love and attention put in to everything.”

“Don't think there are any other blogs about marauders in this style.”

(We got this a few times. ”Like the type of blog and incorrect-marauders was the first one Harry potter themed I found,” also, “Its really funny and pretty much the only blog that just does this kind of post and i LOVE it.” But alternatively... “There are a lot of textpost blogs like it, but it is one of the only ones that I have found that consistently keeps characters in character in the posts and appeals to my sense of humor.”)

“I feel the quotes are in character and from multiple sources which Is cool.“

“How open it is.”

“The continuous content.”

“The posts arent so often that my dash is spammed like other blogs of the same nature.”

“Not sure but I like you.”

Not much to comment on these except we’re happy to see people think this about us!

How satisfied are you with the blog and the posts, in all?

So, you’re telling me, we opened a public, anonymous survey and not a single hater filled it out? Am I impressed or disappointed?

Please explain your response to the previous question.

“I just love the whole blog.”

“It's not my favourite blog ever ever which is why it's not a 10 but i still love it.”

“You guys are just so awesome! But it'd also be cool to have a little, meet the creator(s).”

“Its good but I don't have or want notifications on.”

“It’s the #qualitycontent i signed up for.”

"Always room for improvement, and also there's no 9 3/4 option.”

Awesome! We definitely agree that we can always improve, which is what this survey is for!

How often should we post?

We got a lot of variety here. Some say once a day (which is how often we currently post) was ideal. Others put stuff like...

“I wouldnt mind my entire blog just being filled with your posts.”

While Once A Day is the most voted for, the rest of the options put together, which we’ll name Two or More Times a Day, do win overall. Since we have one new post followed by a reblog, we’ll compromise by posting two times a day, but with one new post a day (the second being a reblog).

In UTC, what times do you prefer us posting?

As expected, not many people cared. But two people felt very strongly and voted for 12am, 1am, and 6pm UTC. So, we’ll consider that.

What characters, relationships, universes, etc. would you like to see more represented in our posts?

We got a lot of responses here, primarily being more Wolfstar, Jily, and BFFs James and Sirius. We also got a lot saying we should post about Hinny, Romione, next gen, FBAWTFT, etc. in which I remind you that this is a Marauders blog.

We also got the hilarious response that said we should maybe post about the “merauders”. Well, we can certainly promise you that.

We also got a lot of people saying more McGonagall. That’s something we can definitely do.

Would you like to see more original quotes from us?

For the longest time, the option 50/50 was at exactly 50%. Kind of disappointed that is no longer, but the 25% option is at 25%, so that’s something. Anyway, we’ll aim for 50/50.

What else would you like to see us post?

This was one of the results that will make the biggest change to the blog. People seem to really love these ideas. So expect...

Marauder Mondays! Every Monday we’ll have Marauder Monday, where we’ll answer asks, reblog posts, and have a party! Probably when we’ll post the “extra” posts, like our GIFs, graphics, aesthetics, videos, etc.

How would you feel if we did sponsored posts?

Combined, it seems like ~75% of those who took the survey are good with sponsored posts.

These results honestly surprised us. We’ve gotten a lot of offers of sponsorships in the past but have always denied them because we didn’t know how our followers would feel. We probably won’t do this in the near future, but it’s an option.

What kind of projects would you like to see us host?

We got so many people suggesting merch. Shirts, stickers, pins, other merch... So we’ll keep that in mind! We’d love some Marauders shirts ourselves.

“Projects that other blogs can get involved with to help other accounts grow.”

Noted!

“An art challenge maybe? like, 30 day challenge where you have to draw them as characters from movies/tv shows? like, friends, clueless, avengers, dc characters etc.“

Definitely interesting. Art challenges would be a lot of fun. Hopefully there’s an interest for this!

Which of our other accounts do you follow/would like to follow?

We’ll look into bringing on people to regularly post on other sites.

What device do you use to browse our blog most often (whether through Tumblr or our site)?

Why are we bothering with a redesign again? Oh, right. Personal vain.

How often do you visit the blogsite?

Those numbers are higher than expected...

What kind of things would you like to find on our blogsite?

“Character aesthetics.”

“Fanfiction links.”

“Marauders fan art would be cool.“

We’ll be working on this! Thank you for the suggestions!

More meet the creator(s) (if not comfortable with should, maybe just telling a funny story)

We got a lot of people saying they’d like to know more about us. We are anonymous, but this particular comment had us thinking. We’ll be implementing something in the near future. We will still remain anonymous, but we will have “blog identifies”, I suppose you could say. More info to come!

Other than show, character, and ship lists, what would you like to see in our navigation?

We didn’t get many new suggestions for this, except for fanart, aesthetics, etc. which we will add as more people join the blog!

Do you have any additional suggestions for us?

"Maybe find a blog that could do fan art, but only if you’re comfortable with it. Also, you’re blog is already so amazing, and any redesign would just make it more awesome!!! Don’t let anyone get you down espically if some one puts something negative on the survey because it is so so great already.”

We got no negative feedback (just constructive criticism), but thank you for your concern!

“um. keep doing this. i like it. it helps fill the gaping void in my soul“

Mood.

“Thanks for making the survey, caring about our feedback, and being awesome overall :)”

Of course! This is not just our blog, this is the Marauders fandom blog. Your feedback means everything to us and we hope you will like the changes we’ll make in response to it.

And that covers all of it! Cookies to anyone who read all of that! Keep an eye out for those new mod applications if you’re interested in joining our team!

We’ll be taking a tiny little hiatus as we’re figuring some stuff out.

#admin #survey #survey results #updates

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hopevalley · 5 years

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I just want to thank you for keeping this public. I have promoted you on Twitter and will continue to do so. I want to help in any way I can.

I debated all morning on how to reply to this. I know this is reference to Melinda making her blog private for Tumblr users only, and I think it’s important for me to express my opinion on that situation.

But first: thank you for the Twitter promotion! I have a Twitter account, but I admit I rarely use it (because I find it confusing to use lol). It’s @july_skies !

Regarding Melinda’s decision to privatize her blog: I support it. She works hard on her content and deserves to feel that people who like it will be capable of supporting it in a direct way (reblogs specifically). Nothing sucks more than making stuff and seeing that nobody’s looking at it or enjoying it, and whether or not that’s what it seems like to (general) you, that’s how it comes across when people don’t reblog her stuff. It’s depressing. It’s like she’s throwing her hard work right into the void.

While I’m on the subject, I’d like to talk about content creation a little more, to help give you guys a better idea of fandom and your place as a consumer of fanworks; I know a lot of you might be new to the concept, and you can’t know if nobody thinks to tell you.

For my “credentials,” let’s just say I’ve been a content creator for more than half my life and there’s something we lifers call fandom participation or fandom engagement. They are more or less the same thing, and the terminology boils down to us answering this question: “How is the fandom at large engaging with our content?”

In the last handful of years, participation is down across the board. When I first got into writing fanfiction I’d get at least 40 comments on anything I wrote. Many of my works ended up with 60+ comments on them!

Now I’m lucky if anyone comments at all, especially in this fandom. Again, it’s a problem everywhere, but I still get comments on fanfic I posted five years ago in other fandoms; meanwhile, this one remains relatively silent.

I post on AO3 for two big reasons. 1) ACCESSIBILITY. AO3′s site layout is easy to read! It’s easy to format! It’s friendly to people with issues seeing small print! And then we have 2) I do it to give people the option of commenting anonymously (in case they’re shy or nervous).

Having an account there isn’t required at all. People just choose not to engage with me when I post fanfiction.

It feels bad to spend hours of your time on something only to see 0 notes/comments/likes/reblogs/whatever on it later. Four ‘likes’ doesn’t feel that good either. Did people actually like it? Are they pity-likes? Do they even care? People mindlessly ‘like’ a lot of things; maybe they did that with your content, too. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy seeing ‘likes’ but a ‘like’ is more or less an acknowledgement that they’ve seen the content, not that they enjoyed it or want more of it.

Also, likes/kudos don’t draw in more readers: comments do. When a reader’s scrolling down the front page of their favorite AO3 fandom, they click on the ‘fics that look like they might be ‘good’ and even though it’s not always TRUE that the ‘best’ stories have the most comments, a lot of readers filter by the number of comments!

Comments tell other readers: this is worth checking out!

Let’s look at a quick example of one of my ‘fics:

This is from my AO3 account, a random WCtH fanfic. It’s not a long one, but it’s not short either. It’s a reasonable read in terms of time spent to read it, and as you can see 185 people clicked on it, 14 people ‘liked’ it (kudos are “likes”), and I have two comments: one of those comments is @trash-god and the other is me replying to her comment.

Her comment isn’t ‘less than’ because she’s a close friend, but she and I spoke at length about this story on Discord and her comment was just a nice little ‘addition’ to that conversation. Sure, the story’s about characters not many people care about, but look at that: 185 hits on the story. 14 likes. And only one person who read it took five seconds to leave a comment? Really? What about the 13 other people who ‘liked’ it?

What this says to me as a creator is that the ONLY person who is going to comment is the one person who might feel obligated to, and if that’s the case, why don’t I just save my stories to show her privately? Why bother posting them out into the void to hear nothing but silence from everyone else?

This is the direction that @whencallstheheart is coming from. What’s the point of spending hours creating these things when nobody interacts with you? Posting to silence feels bad. And look, to put it into perspective, editing gifs to post, writing fanfic, doing write-ups, maintenance of a blog, site, or social media presence: it’s super time-consuming.

Melinda and I both work full-time jobs as it is. My job hit full busy season and I’m even getting overtime now. I’m in training to take over the department next year and I’m tired at the end of the day. When I get home I have eight cats, a house to take care of, and a spouse, not to mention my in-laws live right next door and need help sometimes. We also have a property we just planted 1500 trees on by hand that we have to monitor, and my husband owns a house we rent to someone that needs work done on it, too. Sometimes, life is busy.

And don’t get me wrong! I enjoy creating, just like I’m sure Melinda does. I feel awful if I can’t “create.”

But if my choices are:

work for five hours on a fanfic or episode write-up only to get 4 likes on it, OR

play a video game or watch a movie or read a book or sit on the deck watchin’ the sun go down while I work on a crocheting project…

The latter definitely appeals to me more knowing I have to get up in the morning to go back to work again. My time is worth something. Neither Melinda nor I are getting paid to create this content. We put it together for free, in what spare time we have, in the midst of our own chaotic lives. My website costs me a chunk of money every year to keep up and running ad-free, and I could get all 1500 trees weeded in the amount of time it takes me to put together an episode write-up or decent fanfic.

All content creators ask for in exchange for their free labor is a sense of community, and that can be anything from:

comments on fanfics you enjoyed, even if they are just to say, “I read this and enjoyed it.”

messages that say, “I really like how [this edit you did] turned out.”

reblogs on Tumblr, retweets on Twitter, emails to website owners

you can even create your own blog and use it to begin conversations with those creators!

You guys have been pretty good about engaging with the show itself through us, but don’t forget to engage with the content you enjoy seeing that comes about because of the show.

Fandom content keeps the show alive even when it’s not currently airing, and supporting content creators keeps them creating. Everyone wins, then!

To talk specifically about written content...

Readers are the ones who ensure more material is created. Hands down.

And again: I love writing!! I DO. I’ve been writing seriously for more years of my life than I haven’t been writing seriously! But it’s disheartening to post a fanfic and get my one obligation comment.

Now, it’s fine if you don’t read fanfiction or even enjoy it. It’s also fine if the things I’ve posted aren’t to your specific tastes. Trust me, I get it; nobody is obligated to comment on my fanfiction, and I don’t want anyone to feel that they should be.

But please know this: if you do enjoy something, whether it’s fanfic or edits or something else, you NEED to engage with it, or it WILL disappear. People don’t like talking to walls. It’s frustrating and it isn’t a good use of their time.

(This is one of the reasons I haven’t bothered doing a novelization of the series. It could be fun, but for 0 comments it’s not worth spending the time on.)

Again, you guys have been great when it comes to engaging with the show material, particularly while the show is airing. It’s been fun speculating with you and hearing all of your different thoughts. I know sometimes Tumblr doesn’t make it easy to communicate, either, and you’ve all done a great job of getting around that.

But in between seasons things get slow on this blog and it’s hard for me (or anyone running a blog) to feel motivated to provide content of any sort if you’re not going to take the time to engage in it.

I’ll never mark this blog as private, but if I get to the point where I can’t get any engagement from the fans, I’ll shut it down. The point of having a “fandom blog” is to interact with other fans.

I enjoy providing content to you guys, but if participation drops off to nothing, I’ll be taking that as my signal that the audience is gone and my time would be better spent elsewhere.

So if you’re here and you’re enjoying things, don’t forget to take a little time out of your day to let your content creators know! Not just me and Melinda, of course, but your favorite people on Instagram, Twitter, and other sites as well. ♥ You might be surprised how happy they’ll be to receive interaction from other fans.

And another plug for fanfiction, because 1) they always get the short end of things considering how hard it is to amass the creative energy necessary to tell a good story, and 2) I noticed it’s the #2 page on my website getting visited: if you’ve enjoyed anything you’ve read for When Calls the Heart, tell the author! Here’s the section for WCtH on AO3! Is English not your native language/you’re not confident in your ability to write English? No worries! I’ve gotten many thoughtful comments in other languages and from people who spoke limited English, and trust me: I treasured every one. If you’re just not sure how to comment on fanfic, send me a message and I’ll give you some tips!

I don’t intend this as a slight against my anonymous friend up there AT ALL; I think it can be hard to be in fandom, especially if you’re newer to the scene. There’s a lot of history that’s long gone by now and missing out on it means it’s harder to step into fandom without also accidentally stepping on toes.

Sometimes we take for granted that we have an almost unlimited supply of fanfiction, gifs, memes, blogs, and so on at our disposal. But none of that comes from thin air and it never did. It’s the cumulative hard work of millions of people throwing their hearts and souls into something they’re passionate about in an effort to engage with other fans.

I hope this helped put things into perspective a bit!! Sending love at all of you that stuck around this far; I know it was quite a bit of a ramble LOL!

#when calls the heart #anonymously asked #answered mail #thank you for the kind comment but here's my perspective #in the hopes that you'll understand melinda's a little more #the lack of engagement gets me down too tbh #if i felt people would comment on and want to talk to me about #a novelization i'd start writing it tomorrow

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daehwifi · 6 years

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opinion on mutuals? i love your blog sm 💖

YESYEYSYEYSYEYSYYES THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS

side note: i love all my mutuals and i love making mutual friend! they’re amazing and very lovely and i’d love to meet them in real life one day!

let’s begin with cOUGH [i met a lot of these people from everyong btw so]

@xiupch/shuri: wAHT DID THE COW SAY WHEN LISTENING TO SONATA NO.16??? [insert shuri yelling the answer] I !!! LOVE !!! SHURI !!! SO !!! MUCH !!! i can legit be pissed for like 3 hours straight and simply talk to shuri and bOOM I’M HAPPY AND LAUGHING AGAIN. shuri and i are both 04 liners and clicked whEN I REALIZED SHE DOES THEORY AND I WAS LIKE :000 I DID ALL THREE EXAMS (but hah sike she’s doing the updated version so her exams are harder so she’s smarter than me i love a talented bub) aND OH MY GOD SHE’S SO TALENTED HOLY CRAP SHE’S SUCH A GOOD DRAWER AND PLAYS THE PIANO SO WELL AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH ???? ACTUALLY ???? i consider her as my best friend and i wish her kakao started working again so we can continue on our vents about how we’ll meet up in real life and play yeorojwo on the piano together whilst yelling in a library about stupid shit

@solivagantjn/jade: MY DOUBLEDOUBLEDUO [we’re both canadian] wowie do i love her so goddamn much. i guess our relationship mainly clicked when we both went a bit down a slope and basically supported each other mentally. she’s so pretty and actually such a soft human being? she’ll cry over her biases all the time and it’s honestly the most cutest thing ever. (she hates angst a lot like i wrote an angst for her ult and sHE FLIPPED HER OFF SMH). i have so much more to say about her but that can be actual paragraphs. overall, i love jade so much. she’s an actual bub and i just wanna hug her sm

@longquos/cyn: cyn likes attacking all of us i swear- she’ll write scenarios on the spot of our biases and include our other biases from other groups as well. she’s actually such a talented baby and i know she studies often. cyn and i clicked when talking about uhhh- s t u f f PAHAHAHHA (she’ll know what i mean by that). she’s willing to cheer you up and willing to give support at any time of the day. i actually love being friends with her so much and coUGH LEUKEMIA now that i’m typing this out i just realized cyn’s an actual tsundere and how she doesn’t really express how she loves people and attacks them often but on the inside she does

@woojiniee/diamond: WOWOWOWOW I LOVE DIAMOND SO MUCH she’s like an older sister that i never had. we mainly clicked (in my opinion) when we were both left in a call together and oHHH did our conversation get really deep. from then on, she’s been giving me moral support and she’s overall so lovely and i love her so much. diamond’s actually such an inspiration to me and i honestly aspire to be like her so much ???? she has such a mother-like figure and i just love her so much and want to hug her because i rEALLY CAN’T EXPLAIN HOW THANKFUL I AM TO HAVE HER IN MY LIFE AHHH

@ongnable/jas: I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE’S SUCH AN AESTHETIC BABY AND I JUST !!!!!!!! i remember the last time we talked it was like 4am for her or something and she was writing out her essay and honestly wOW i love jas so much??? her writings are a big inspiration to me and i love the way she does her layouts (like those gifs/images she makes) anD NOT TO MENTION SHE’S SUCH A GOOD EDITOR AND DRAWER HOLY CRAP PLEASE SUPPORT HER AND GIVE HER LOTS OF LOVE !!! SHE’S AN AMAZING BUB AND WE MUST BURDEN HER WITH HUGS !!!

@maemihoy/mae: WOWIE look at me writing about the other owner on this blog (”: i love her so much and honestly mae is such a beaut? i think we clicked over the both of us being vietnamese and began doing vietnamese pick up lines. BUT I CLEARLY REMEMBER HER FIRST MESSAGE TO ME IN PM IT WAS LIKE SOMETHING WANNA ONE RELATED AND I WASN’T EVEN THAT INTO WANNA ONE AT THE TIME SO SHE DEADASS DRAGGED ME INTO THIS FANDOM AND NOW I CAN’T GET OUT THANKS A LOT BABE

- admin xion

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queenallura · 7 years

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I've been thinking about doing an event but I'm not sure what event to do and how to actually do it successfully. Do you have any opinions on what would be best for a first timer? And what kind of tips do you have to make a successful event?

For a first time organizer i would say weeks are the easiest. They’re not easy but compared to zines or exchanges they have significantly less work involved. Most of the work is upfront, like thinking of prompts and making promotional material. Then during the actual week you also have to keep up with all the content. Weeks can be done by yourself but I always like to have another person help out to split the load. A successful week needs good prompts that allow fan of all kinds to participate (some people have to work within canon, such as many gif makers), planning ahead of time to allow for content to be made, good promotion and not a lot of overlap with other events, and responsive mods that are willing to answer questions and queue up content.

Exchanges/ secret santas vary depending on their size and structure. If you make it open to everyone you can have hundreds of people, while application only is more manageable and generally has less variation in terms of quality but can come off as elitist. The biggest battle for exchanges is matching and making sure everyone receives something. People can drop out, be late, be picky, or all of the above. All sorts of things can happen that you have to deal with mostly on the fly. A secret Santa was my first fandom event that I ever organized and while it was fun it was also very stressful. I would say you’d want a minimum of two people involved in planning, and certainly more if your event is large. 3-4 is ideal. A good exchange will have back ups in case people go MIA, good planning so that matching and deadlines are executed in a timely manner, and clear rules for things such as giving previews and talking with your giftee.

Zines are intimidating because unless you do a free version or ebook you are dealing with physical products and/or money, which means stakes are higher. I find that zines have a higher skill cap and a steeper learning curve, so I would not recommend it to someone who doesn’t have a ton of experience with events or literary background. Familiarity with an editing software is usually necessary, as is connections to a reputable and affordable printing service. Most zines I’ve seen seem to be organized by just two very dedicated people and it is a lot of hard work. They can have incredible turnouts though; some of my favorite fandom efforts are zines that I’ve organized, participated in, or bought. A good zine has an aesthetically pleasing page layout, contains high resolution images, and always gives credit to the participants, but most importantly it has good communication with the participants and has a thoughtful and generous timeline.

Let me know if you have any more questions! I’m happy to share the knowledge.

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wodra-regon-blog · 7 years

Text

ATTENTION ALL HOMESTUCKS!!! ( PART 2)

I'M ALMOST DONE YOU GUYS!!!

Quick background for those who haven't seen the original post: Some guy I know insulted Homestuck(my life).I'm used to haters but he was different. He said it was worse than SAO and I have been on the internet long enough to know that was an insult. So I proposed a deal with him. That if I made him an essay on why homestuck is good and why he should read it by the end of the semester, then he would read it in the summer.If not, I can't bring up homestuck around him. The deal was made and I went to tumblr for advice on formatting. Fast forward and now I finished my draft for persuading that homestuck hater and I want your guys input. What do I need to add? What needs to be deleted? Please tell me!! I'm trying to get another to at least appreciate Homestuck so it needs to be as persuasive as possible. Here ya go!

ESSAY STARTS HERE

Let me first state that your opinion is your opinion, but judging something without doing the research or attempt to see the opposing side's view is crazy. So I'm going to educate you. Now Homestuck is something that is best experienced if read through ( at least to the end of act 5 ). Trying to explain it without some sort of spoiling is impossible, but I will try to keep them minor. Now that I got that out of the way, I will now explain.

What is Homestuck?

Homestuck is a webcomic by Andrew Hussie on his site MSPaintAdventures. It is his largest and most popular webcomic on it and it's the one that put him on the radar. Homestuck started off as a simple project that Hussie would do for fun. Being a parody of text based adventure games he could ask fans what the next few panels would be. This let it evolve into a comedy. As the story continued however, he took the reins so he can finish the plot. This is most evident in the first act since it seems very random and insignificant, but it is quite the opposite. I will get to that point soon.

How does it look?

Homestuck is split into Acts (7) that is further broken up into intermissions. It can also have Acts within acts as well. The style of Homestuck is very simplistic a majority of the time. During actions scenes or establishing shots it becomes much more detailed. These shots are called “Hero Modes”. The layout of it is panel based with normally a panel per page. Dialog is hidden under “pesterlogs” or just “ chatlog” depending on the situation. These are important to read but can accidentally be overlooked due to having to reveal it. Homestuck takes full advantage of the platform it's on by using flash animations, games, and gifs for either story or comedic effect. The games and flashes can only be viewed on a computer or any software that can be compatible with the website. The games serve as an interactive storytelling device and allows character development and shows plot details that would not be seen otherwise. This is especially so for later Acts. The presentation is very nice and fits the purpose of the story. It even gets creative at different parts of the story with fourth wall breaking ( literally) and other physical things with the website itself. Since Homestuck’s format is based on text adventure games, it explains the surroundings and the character ( at least at the basic level, more on that later)to the reader up front. Each page link are like “ commands” for the character or the story itself. This is especially apparent in the earlier acts.

The Plot

Homestuck is about a group of teens who play a game for fun but it actually ends the world ( then the universe). They now have to figure out how to survive and create a new universe so they can beat the game. That is a VERY brief summary of the plot, for it’s much more complex than that. Now the story starts off slow but it all comes together around act 4 ( trust me). There is plenty of time traveling, whether it be in the actual plot, or if it’s just the narrative jumping from one point to another. Because of this, NOTHING can be skipped for it has to do with plot or character development. The use of time travel is used very well in the story since it does a good job at filling plot holes. While reading, it can feel confusing as the focus jumps around but it all comes together ( usually flashes ) in a very satisfying way that can leave you amazed at how they connect. There is also the use of fourth wall breaking in both a comedic effect and for plot purposes. The author inserts himself into the story but it’s not purposeless. He actually has an important role in the overall plot, but he is not intrusive to it.

The Characters

This is the bread and butter of Homestuck as a whole. The characters are such a strong foundation for the fandom and the story of Homestuck that they need to be discussed. As previously mentioned, the narrator gives you a basic explanation of each character when they are introduced. I call this information the frosting of their “character cake”. Most of their character development comes from their dialogue and their interactions with their environment, the inside of the “character cake”.This Character Development is what make the story move. The characters are responsible for their path regardless if they know it or not. There is at least 1 character that someone can relate to or like in someway. They could be a minor character or a major one but every character has some sort of quality that someone can connect to in someway. I know this is kind of vague but explaining the character development in the characters is challenging to do without spoiling anything, ( the plot is best without spoilers) but I can give one example. Karkat Vantas is shown to be the salty one of the group when he is first introduced. He shouts demands at everyone with ears in rather….. creative ways…. and seems like an ass, but he isn't. When it matters, when there is someone that genuinely needs help with something, he is kind and listens. He stops his “ I'm tough because I'm loud” facade and you realize that he is pretty weak. He can't fight for shit and will break down emotionally if everything is going wrong. You don't see this on the surface though, you just see the angry nag. This is the type of character development you can see in plot.

Conclusion:

Now I have said all of this as a way to persuade you into giving Homestuck a try ( again, at least to act 5) to see if you like it. I'm ok if you still don't like it after act 5 because I would at least know you tried it. Homestuck is just a fun experience, heck, a time waster ( takes a while to read) that you can do when nothing else seems appealing at the moment; if you are bored. You don't even have to read. Many people have done series where they read it! ( it's not as fun when you can't interact with the panels yourself) Just give it a chance. :3

@knightofheart @imaginingkatie

#homestuck #homestuck fandom #homestucks #i need your input #homestuck trash #Homestuck trolls #karkat vantas #homestuck characters #homestuck essay

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onlylovekpop · 7 years

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I’m Back!

Hello, everyone. Sorry I’ve been MIA for a little while. The past few weeks have been a little hectic for me. I’m closing drabble requests now and have received lots of good ideas. Thank you to all of those who submitted! Also, two of the requests have turned into oneshots (this is a rare thing, but sometimes I get carried away and it happens lol.) The oneshots will be a pirate!au with some smut for Jimin and a dance camp smut with Yugyeom. I’m also finishing up my first Jungkook smut oneshot that I started working on ages ago and involves Netflix and chill. Hehe. Hope you’re all doing well and please look forward to the upcoming drabbles and oneshots! :)

(replies below the cut beware im drinking vodka while i answer to make my responses more interesting hehe (actually im getting as drunk as i can to deal with my vengeful uterus which is very unhappy i have not conceived any spawn this month and is giving me cramps from hell) you may notice my spelling grammar and punctuation get worse as you read please dont hold it against me)

anonymous asked: Hi Leigh we haven't heard of you since you mentioned having knee surgery the next day and I had this really bad feeling I hope you are ok? For some reason I am genuinely concerned and I don't know why so I hope everything went well??

Yes, all is well! I healed in pretty good time and am already out and about again. It’s a surgery I’ve had before so I knew what to expect and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Thank you for checking on me. Sorry if I made you worry :)

omg-mystarx-neoctech asked: Hell YES JOOHEON.

I SAY THIS ON A DAILY BASIS!

anonymous asked: Can I just say I fucking love the layout and look of your blog. Also I just read one of your smuts and holy shit im deceased.

Thank you! I’ve been revamping some of the pages but I only have a few of them done, so a few things may be blank at the moment. I changed it so fics are listed by member instead of type I hope that’s better but if anyone has opinions on the layout please let me know :)

anonymous asked: OKAY BUT THAT JOOHEON SMUT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUSLY SINFUL. I'M HAVING HEART PROBLEMS.

Jooheon himself is deliciously sinful tbh. I have heart palpitations every time I see a pic of him wearing tight pants. Or just pants in general. i aint never seen such pretty thighs before

neon-flamingos asked: I read Rhythm and omg i criedddddd it was so good i just can imagine Jooheon saying all those dirty thingssss my vayjayjay cries

look i recently saw that vid of him speaking english and his accent is so good which means i can totally hear him in my head saying all them naughty english things this is not good what have i done my lady parts also cry HELP

anonymous asked: Everyone is talking about the Jooheon smut and I'm here still crying because of how hard Chained up hit me

oh god that was not my best work but im glad you enjoyed it the thing never got edited i hope its not a hot mess haha sorry markiepooh but it still got the job done i think hehehe

anonymous asked: A part of me regrets reading Underworld AF....but it was such a good read too... that last chapter HURT but it was a good hurt

oh no dont regret reading it! that makes me sad! its a long ass fic i dont want you to get to the end of it and think holy shit i wasted so much time reading that horror flick i tried to bring it full circle in the end im glad you thought it was a good read i panicked for a second haha

honeyheonie asked: HOLY FUCK!!!! I have sinned. 'Rythm' was 👌👌👌👌👌

me too darling ;) thank ya

anonymous asked: Do you have a quote or prompt list we could use? :)

i do not. i leave it up to you guys that way you have lots to choose from

topaz-and-turquoise asked: For some reason, I only just got to binge-read the last 3 chapters of Underworld. Leigh. LEIGH. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF BTS-GOT7 CROSSOVERS. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF CROSSOVERS. THE QUEEN OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AU'S. OF ALL AU'S. YOU ARE THE BEST AT WRITING TENSION AND HEART-WRENCHING SCENES AND THE COMPLEXITY OF PEOPLE AND JUST HOLY FRICK YOU'RE AMAZING. THANK YOU FOR THIS. I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW BUT THIS IS MY FAVOURITE KPOP FANFIC OF ALL TIME. I'M SAD IT'S OVER BUT I'M SO SATISFIED. YOU ARE THE BEST.

she calls ME QUEEN! thank you thank you I SQUEAL A LOT AT THIS im actually sad its over too. but im content with it. I HOPE IT IS FOREVER YOUR FAVE you stuck with me through the whole thing thank you i love you

statetheobvious04 asked: I've long been a follower for your underworld series and Jesus christ it's one of the best series of read ever. The storyline was so gripping and full of love and loss that by the time I finished the last chapter my chest was heavy and I nearly cried. Idk how you did it but I feel like I've personally lived through minas insane and perilous journey and felt every single emotion as if it were my own. It's een a while since I've read the earlier chapters but I feel like if I do il start 1/2 2/2 sobbing. You are such an amazing and talented writer that this story deserves to be developed into a book or movie but eve then those may not do it justice. But honestly, thank you so much for sharing and writing. And I’m so happy mina finally got the life she deserves and that everyone else managed to find peace in Iceland 💜💜💜💜

THIS MAKES ME HAPPPY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW CAN I DESCRIBE MY JOY AT THIS MESSAGE you make me cry thank you for loving mina and thank you for supporting the story and thank you for telling me how it felt to read it i love you <3

anonymous asked: hi leigh! I have a question. I hope it doesn't come across the wrong way, I'm just curious! May I ask why you're not taking exo requests?

you’re good honey :) honestly im just not in an exo mood at the moment. i still write for them i still even have a baekhyun oneshot in my drafts idk im just not feeling like writing for them for drabbles at the moment if that makes sense

anonymous asked: Do you still open the drabble request?

they are closed now.

anonymous asked: I'm a Yoongi at heart but your story Underworld made my heart 'boom boom'. Seriously this is the best mafia /zombie apocalypse AU I have ever read and I read a lot of fan fiction. Keep up the good work. PS: Some drabbles based on Underworld wouldn't hurt. PSS: If you don't understand the heart boom boom reference , go see the latest Buzzfeed interview of BTS.

i can’t help but only hear got7′s boom boom boom though haha im down for underworld drabbles i think i mentioned before that any gang!au drabbles i do will be in the underworld universe before the zombie outbreak so far i only have the one for bambam i would link it but im too tipsy for something that level right now sorry :D

anonymous asked: I fucking love your angst writings, they get me emotional aha

thank you i love angst i like toying with emotions ehehe

anonymous asked: Underworld is amazing!!! One of the best stories I've read, even though it has me crying from Paris all the way to the end.😭😭😭😭 You done good. 😁

we dont talk about paris haha jk that one hurt too much thank you darling that its one of the best you’ve read means the world to me :)

anonymous asked: How can you write like thattttt!!!! I adore you. I'll always be your follower 💖

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU and i’ll always be here! i promise <3

anonymous asked: Who is that in your header gif?

It’s Suga :)

thewriterpixie asked: *squeals* I just finished reading the Suga father/daughter date drabble! It made my day!

Thank you! I love that one so much :)

anonymous asked: Okay I was reading Wake Up and Play with Me and for some reason it reminded me of their song Paradise?¿¿ Now whenever I hear it I'm gonna associate it with this smut xD

Ooh i like the sound of that! i really love Paradise but I think Sign is my favorite on the album but how do you get your question marks upside down i thought the room was spinning for a second i kid you not lol

anonymous asked: Your Jooheon smut got me looking at Jooheony at a different way now 😏 thank you for writing such a quality one shot! You're one of the best of the best!

YAS come to the jooheon side we have thick thighs and adorable dimples you will not regret this ;)

taecmekai asked: hope you are ok and recovering well from your knee surgery :)

i’m okay! gained a few pounds from being stuck on the couch for a few days but idgaf hehe ;) i’ll get back to yoga when i feel like it

coppertopging asked: I just finished Underworld. holy crap the emotional coaster you took me on! I read the last 7 chaps today & i couldn't stop crying. I didn't when Jae died, but his 'funeral' got me with the reactions from everyone. & then Hobi?! That was the most painful. I had to stop & pull myself together. Yoongi made me laugh a little with his delivery. My favorite part of the ending was the Jk/Yugy part. The only thing I felt was missing was more detail into Namjoon & Jin. But this story was amazing!!!

yeah hoseok was the hardest for me too. i wanted to keep anything namjin related kinda vague and open to the reader’s interpretation that’s why there wasn’t much material there but im very glad you enjoyed the story thank you :)

anonymous asked: holy fucking shit. it's 4am and i just finished reading Underworld and i'm crying so hard there's so many emotions i'm feeling. thank you so much for that masterpiece. it's the first work of yours i've read and omfg you're talented as fuck. i'm actually a bit speechless still tbh it's only fully processing to me ...hobi... he's not even my bias but i'm crying so hard i need help wow SO MUCH LOVE FOR U AND UR WRITING THO

omg i cant believe you stayed up that late to read it i wish i could do that but in my old age i dont bounce back that well anymore (i just turned 27 and am very upset about it) anyway THANK YOU this makes me very happy

danphilandstuff asked: OH MY FUCKING GOD RHYTHM WAS SO FUCKING GOOD THANK YOU SO MUCH ITS ACTUALLY HOW I IMAGINED HIM TO BE IT FELT SO REAL IT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEST FANFIC IVE EVER READ IM CURRENTLY READING YOUR MASTER LIST. you're actually such an amazing writer thank you so much (Could I request more Jooheon fics? ((If you want and have time)) )

i will never stop writing jooheon fics. you have nothing to worry about there haha. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS THE BEST FANFIC YOUVE READ IT WAS SUCH A RAUNCHY SEX FEST I SHOULD BE ASHAMED lol just kidding no but in all seriousness THANK YOU I LOVE YOU IM GLAD YOU LOVED IT I HOPE YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE MUHAHA

anonymous asked: (1/3) Hey lovely! I came across your blog today after reading your monsta x all in one shot and i just wanted to say thank you for writing something so incredible! it had me gripped from start to finish and it was honestly one of the most (2/3) well-written pieces ive ever read, I would love to be able to write at your standard one day. I cant express how grateful i am, it put me through so many emotions and i actually had tears in my eyes at one point! So yeah, apologies for this (3/3) being so long but i just wanted to express my gratitude and say that you are an amazing writer :) x

oh my goodness this was ridiculously lovely. i am very proud of All In and how it turned out. i hope to finish the sequel soon. i keep getting writers block on it and i dont know why but anyway. thank you for sending me this and im thrilled that i could write something you enjoy very much. you are too kind thank you <3

#replies

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jesusvasser · 6 years

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Quick Take: 2019 Hyundai Veloster R-Spec

TO: Mike Floyd, editor-in-chief, Automobile Magazine FROM: Aaron Gold, senior editor DATE: August 15, 2018 SUBJECT: Veloster R-Spec and my resignation

Dear Mike,

Please accept my resignation from the position of senior editor, effective immediately.

It’s not that I’ve been unhappy during my short tenure; quite the opposite. I love the people at Automobile. I love the work we’re doing. And, of course, I’ve had the chance to experience some amazing exotic cars, old and new, that I might otherwise never have had the opportunity to sit in, let alone drive.

It’s just that… gosh, I don’t know how to say this, so I’d better just come out and say it.

Now that I’ve driven the $24,000 Hyundai Veloster Turbo R-Spec, I don’t think I can do my job properly anymore.

I’m not saying the Veloster R-Spec is the best thing I’ve ever driven. Inherently, it can’t be: As you well know, it’s meant to play second fiddle to the coming Veloster N, which gets more power, adjustable shocks, bigger brakes, and most critically, a rack-mounted power steering motor. Conner Golden drove the N at the Nürburgring, and—well, you read his review, Mike. He thought it was fantastic.

The Veloster Turbo (of which the R-Spec is a sub-set) is meant to be the lesser light, with 201 horsepower/197 lb-ft of torque from its 1.6-liter turbocharged I-4 (ratings, if not displacement, very close to what the Volkswagen GTI offered for years) and the cheaper steering setup with the motor on the column. Stick-shift turbos get Michelin Pilot Sport 4S tires. The R-Spec is the enthusiast’s special, a low-cost variant with cloth seats and a manual transmission. Asking price is $23,785, which is less than a Honda Civic Si, way less than a GTI and couch-crevice change compared to some of the exotics we cover here at Automobile.

And it’s brilliant, Mike. Abso-friggin’-lutely brilliant.

I can almost imagine the consternation on your face, the subtle furrowing of the brow that it seems everyone of your ilk is required to master before taking an editor-in-chief job. Low-end Hyundais are good, value-laden to be sure, but not brilliant.

Well, Mike, this one is. What it brings to the table for its price point almost defies belief.

Yes, it exhibits the balky steering feel we’ve come to expect from Hyundai’s cars, although it seems a bit less so in the Veloster R-Spec than other recent Hyundais I’ve driven. It darts around some on the freeway, but tracks better than I expected. Most of the credit probably goes to the Michelins. Our social media guru Billy Rehbock drove a higher-spec Turbo model on the press launch—automatic Veloster Turbos get all-season tires—and said that when it came to turn-in and braking, the summer tires made all the difference in the world.

But I don’t care about that, Mike. I care about what an amazing time I had thrashing the R-Spec out on the canyon roads.

The transmission alone makes the R-Spec worth the asking price. Its gearshift feels precise but not notchy, with throws that are short but not abrupt, and the clutch has perfect heft. It may well be the best front-drive manual transmission this side of a Honda. (For the record, senior editor Kirill Ougarov disagrees; he thinks it’s too rubbery. He also thinks getting up at 4:30 am to get knocked over by waves and hit on the head by his own surfboard is a good idea, so we can safely discount his opinion.)

The best part is that you don’t even need to shift gears because the engine is so darn flexible. Forget about minimal turbo lag; one can say that about most engines these days. As long as you’re between 3,000 and the 6,500 rpm rev limiter (be careful, it’s a hard stop and not well marked on the tach), you have all the pull you need. On the faster curves, I alternated between grabbing gears and just leaving the thing in third. Both methods worked equally well. The engine sounds good, too—not as pleasing as a snarly old Honda, perhaps, but not as coarse and unrefined as older Hyundai fours.

I even liked the accelerator pedal. I’ve always thought of remapping the throttle for different driving modes as a bit of a frivolity, but the Veloster Turbo has a well-thought-out setup. In normal mode, max power comes far down in the pedal’s travel. Selecting Sport mode moves it up near the top, but not so far that you can’t drive smoothly. Truth be told, the car works just fine in either mode; I was having so much fun that I forgot to hit the Sport button for most of my canyon drive. But the gentle pedal setup is perfect for more docile cruising. It no doubt contributed to my 25 mpg average fuel economy, which included plenty of curvy-road hoonerism. Speaking of fuel, I also like that the Veloster Turbo runs on cheaper 87-octane gas, an important consideration for me what with my impending unemployment.

But as with any car, it’s not the individual bits and pieces but rather how the whole thing comes together. And that’s where the R-Spec really shines.

The suspension is better than anything I’ve experienced in a front-drive Hyundai. (Actually, that’s not entirely true; the Elantra GT is hot on the Veloster R-Spec’s heels, but not quite as good.) The ride is firm, but not too jarring, and once you turn in, the R-Spec finds its footing and holds pat. And while it bounces around some on bumpy corners, it simply refuses to give up its grip on the pavement. Thank you, independent rear suspension.

No matter what kind of stupidity I unleashed upon the Veloster R-Spec—pushing too hard into the curves (a persistent bad habit of mine) or not loading the suspension when I knew a dip was ahead—the Veloster steadfastly refused to understeer. If the front end started to step out, the rear end was only half a tick behind. Corner-exit wheelspin? Never a problem.

I picked up my pace as I got more comfortable. The faster I went, the better the Veloster felt. As I cranked up the speed in the corners, I could almost hear it speaking to me over the din of the engine: “If you’re committed to this, buddy, so am I.”

Now, I don’t want to pretend I was driving at supersonic speeds; the Veloster R-Spec’s handling limits are relatively modest, as are my abilities. The afternoon I banged up The Snake on Mulholland, I was sharing it with Evos, STIs, and JCW Minis. I’m pretty sure they were faster than me—or at least they should have been if the drivers were worth the salt in their own tears—but I’m also pretty sure I was pushing harder than they were, and I know I was having at least as much fun.

And that’s why I need to quit, Mike.

As I said earlier, Automobile has put me behind the wheel of some of the finest cars I’ve ever had the honor of driving. The Lambo Huracán Performante Spyder I reviewed the week before last? A dream come true. Bill Devin’s own Model C? Who else has driven that besides Sir Sterling Moss, the few who have owned it, and me? And if I stay, I know can look forward to driving more amazing machines, all true to the #NoBoringCars mantra.

But how can I truly appreciate the Best of the Best when I know what I do now about this budget-priced pocket sportster?

What will become of me now, Mike?

I have stolen the Veloster R-Spec and gone to Mexico. Please don’t try to find me.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Respectfully yours,

Aaron Gold

2019 Hyundai Veloster Turbo R-Spec Specifications

ON SALE Now PRICE $23,785 (base/as-tested) ENGINE 1.6L turbocharged DOHC 16-valve I-4/201 hp @ 6,000 rpm, 195 lb-ft @ 1,500-4,500 rpm TRANSMISSION 6-speed manual LAYOUT 3-door, 4-passenger, front-engine, FWD hatchback EPA MILEAGE 26/33 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 166.9 x 70.9 x 55.1 in WHEELBASE 104.3 in WEIGHT 2,899 lb 0-60 MPH N/A TOP SPEED N/A

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eddiejpoplar · 6 years

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Quick Take: 2019 Hyundai Veloster R-Spec

TO: Mike Floyd, editor-in-chief, Automobile Magazine FROM: Aaron Gold, senior editor DATE: August 15, 2018 SUBJECT: Veloster R-Spec and my resignation

Dear Mike,

Please accept my resignation from the position of senior editor, effective immediately.

It’s just that… gosh, I don’t know how to say this, so I’d better just come out and say it.

Now that I’ve driven the $24,000 Hyundai Veloster Turbo R-Spec, I don’t think I can do my job properly anymore.

And it’s brilliant, Mike. Abso-friggin’-lutely brilliant.

Well, Mike, this one is. What it brings to the table for its price point almost defies belief.

But I don’t care about that, Mike. I care about what an amazing time I had thrashing the R-Spec out on the canyon roads.

But as with any car, it’s not the individual bits and pieces but rather how the whole thing comes together. And that’s where the R-Spec really shines.

And that’s why I need to quit, Mike.

But how can I truly appreciate the Best of the Best when I know what I do now about this budget-priced pocket sportster?

What will become of me now, Mike?

I have stolen the Veloster R-Spec and gone to Mexico. Please don’t try to find me.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Respectfully yours,

Aaron Gold

2019 Hyundai Veloster Turbo R-Spec Specifications

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jonathanbelloblog · 6 years

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Quick Take: 2019 Hyundai Veloster R-Spec

TO: Mike Floyd, editor-in-chief, Automobile Magazine FROM: Aaron Gold, senior editor DATE: August 15, 2018 SUBJECT: Veloster R-Spec and my resignation

Dear Mike,

Please accept my resignation from the position of senior editor, effective immediately.

It’s just that… gosh, I don’t know how to say this, so I’d better just come out and say it.

Now that I’ve driven the $24,000 Hyundai Veloster Turbo R-Spec, I don’t think I can do my job properly anymore.

And it’s brilliant, Mike. Abso-friggin’-lutely brilliant.

Well, Mike, this one is. What it brings to the table for its price point almost defies belief.

But I don’t care about that, Mike. I care about what an amazing time I had thrashing the R-Spec out on the canyon roads.

But as with any car, it’s not the individual bits and pieces but rather how the whole thing comes together. And that’s where the R-Spec really shines.

And that’s why I need to quit, Mike.

But how can I truly appreciate the Best of the Best when I know what I do now about this budget-priced pocket sportster?

What will become of me now, Mike?

I have stolen the Veloster R-Spec and gone to Mexico. Please don’t try to find me.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Respectfully yours,

Aaron Gold

2019 Hyundai Veloster Turbo R-Spec Specifications

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jesusvasser · 6 years

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First Drive: 2019 Lexus ES 350

It was the most thrilling drive I’d had in months. I headed fast into a sharp left-hander, carrying a bit more speed than I felt comfortable with. I braced myself for the onset of understeer, but the car turned in sharply and eagerly. I rolled into the throttle as I straightened the wheel, the transmission instantly grabbed a lower gear, and the car rocketed ahead. I kept my foot in it as long as I dared—a bit longer, perhaps—then jumped on the powerful brakes before diving into the next corner. I’d been told the car was improved, but I had no idea it would be this good.

That was three weeks ago in the Nissan GT-R. My drive of the new 2019 Lexus ES 350 was nowhere near as exciting.

I tell you this only because the Lexus people spent so much of our press preview trying to assure us that the ES had shed its boring-to-drive skin and was now an honest-to-goodness helmsmith’s machine. And for what it’s worth, the 2019 ES 350’ driving dynamics are greatly improved. The new seventh-gen ES, which rides on a mildly modified version of the TNGA (Toyota New Generation Architecture) that underpins the impressive new Camry, takes corners quickly and competently. And if you relax your hands and concentrate, you’ll get some pretty decent feedback from the steering.

On the downside, the steering feels heavy in more relaxed driving. On cars with driver-selectable shock valving, there’s little discernable difference between the modes. Still, compared to the previous ES, which turned into a quivering puddle of understeer, it’s a notable improvement.

But a front-wheel-drive BMW clone it isn’t. And there’s nothing wrong with that—except that Lexus seems to think there is.

Comfort has traditionally been the ES’ strong suit. Years ago, a colleague referred to the ES the Japanese Buick, and he didn’t mean it as an insult. The ES was as cozy as a well-worn couch and as quiet as a New Orleans church during Mardi Gras. Happily, that has not changed: The 2019 ES is just as placid as any ES of yore. Were I writing the ads, I’d call it a road-going oasis in a desert of chaos. (And that’s why I don’t write car ads.)

Unfortunately, there are other places where the ES gets away from tradition—and to its detriment. Like the exterior, the interior is largely modeled after the Lexus LS, for better or worse. On the better side are the materials from which the cabin is built—acres of leather, wood, and, in F-Sport models, patterned metal trim. The attention to detail is exquisite, which is exactly what I expect from the ES.

My problem is with the control layout. The basics are just fine; the digital instrument cluster, with its silver ring circling the single speedo/tach/power display, is lovely, and the steering wheel controls are no more confusing than any other competing luxury car. And we should all take a moment to thank Lexus for fitting a nice old-fasioned P-R-N-D-style shift lever, even on the hybrid ES 300h variant.

But from there it all goes, as the Brits would say, a bit pear shaped.

Let’s start with the touchpad interface for the infotainment system. When Lexus first launched its mouse-like Remote Touch controller, I thought things couldn’t get any worse; the touch pad with which they replaced it has proved me wrong. There is absolutely no way to use it without staring at the screen, which is not where a driver’s eyes should be. And the ES driver’s eyes will be there for a long time, because the menu layout buries common functions in obscure places.

Entering a destination letter-by-letter is excruciating and even if you program the navigation system by voice—your only choice when the car is moving—you still have to use the touchpad to get navigation started. Same when you tell the voice recognition system—“Call Robin” and it asks you to choose from a list of a dozen similarly sounding names. And please, please, for the love of all that is holy, don’t get me started on how wonky the touch-pad gets with Apple CarPlay. (The ES doesn’t support Android Auto, so my fellow green-robot enthusiasts are spared this misery.) The ES now offers voice-activated Alexa connectivity; I tried it and the responses were so slow I resigned myself to the awful touch-pad, suspecting that the car’s warranty would run out before Alexa figured out where the nearest used book store was.

To be fair to Lexus, distracted driving is part-and-parcel of today’s infotainment systems, but there are ways to make them less distracting. Point-at-what-you-want touch-screens are the best and dials make some sense (spin it a little for selections at the top of the list and a lot for those at the bottom). Of all the infotainment controllers I’ve tried—and that’s most of them—Lexus’ touch pad is, in my opinion, the worst.

The saving grace of other Lexus models is the redundant controls, but in the ES these have been ground down to the bare minimum. The climate control system has a line of look-alike buttons that are no easier to distinguish from one another than the touch-screen options. Ditto for the minimalist stereo controls. Funnily enough, seat heating and cooling buttons are done right—someone must have been asleep at the switch.

Bottom line: When I see a Lexus on the road, if I notice the driver’s eyes on the center screen, I give the car a wide berth.

Why am I railing on about this? Well, for one thing, confusing controls and distracted driving are a pet peeve of mine. And for another, such a confusing control layout is anathema to the people the ES attracts—older drivers who need a low-distraction driving environment. Not that older folks can’t deal with technology—my parents’ proficiency with their smartphones has disavowed me of that notion—but as you age, you need to ratchet up your concentration levels when you drive.

Lexus might argue that the ES is supposed to attract younger buyers, but is that realistic? I imagine that younger Lexus intenders would be happier with the smaller, sportier IS—which, though still afflicted with that wretched touchpad, has a much better secondary control layout than the ES. If Lexus wants a bigger car for the younger crowd, then maybe it’s time to show the GS a little love.

Bugger me, I’ve spent so much time bitching about the control layout that I haven’t given you the low-down on the rest of the car. Here’s what you need to know:

The ES 350 is powered by our old familiar friend, the 3.5 liter V-6, actually an updated 2.2GR-FKS version with 302 horsepower and 267 lb-ft of torque (up from 268/248 in the 6th-gen Lexus ES). A new eight-speed automatic transmission adds two gears and a wider ratio spread. Toyota says the new powertrain cuts a half-second from the ES’ 0-60 time, dropping it to 6.6 seconds. Power from the revitalized V-6 engine is impressive, though the new 8-speed transmission is slow to downshift.

For the first time, the ES 350 gets an F-Sport version. It gets jazzier styling and brighter colors inside and out (including an optional snazzy red interior), adaptive shock absorbers, and a fancier gauge cluster. Along with the top-of-the-line Ultra Luxury version, the F-Sport gets a pair of horizontal dampers, one between the forward frame rail and one ahead of the trunk. Confusingly called “performance dampers”—not to be confused with the British word for shock absorbers—Lexus says they allow for better handling without the rougher ride that comes with simply stiffening the structure with steel. It’s a novel idea that makes a nearly imperceptible difference, and given the ES’ buyer base, I have to wonder if that money couldn’t have been better spent elsewhere.

For comparison, a 2.5-liter Atkinson-cycle four-cylinder drives a new and more compact version of Toyota’s power-split hybrid transmission in the ES 300h. Horsepower is up 15 to 215, and the combined fuel economy estimate is up 4 MPG to an impressive 44—a remarkable number for a car this big. The compact battery pack now fits under the seat, so the hybrid has the same 16.7 cubic-foot trunk as the V-6 car. 0-60, if anyone cares, is unchanged at 8.1 seconds.

All in all, I found the 2019 Lexus ES 350 to be something of a disappointment. I applaud Lexus’ move better driving dynamics and I love the changes they have wrought in the IS, LS and RX—just this weekend, I drove a base model RC 300 and was struck by how on-target it was. But when it comes the ES, something has been lost. The improved handling is welcome, but by trying to be more like its sportier siblings, the ES has given up its base appeal—that of a nice, low-impact, easy-to-live-with luxury car. Lexus has succumbed to the mistaken idea that every luxury car has to be a Bimmer-beater, and that’s too bad. Had they kept the ES on-message, I might have enjoyed it as much as that GT-R.

2019 Lexus ES 350 Specifications

ON SALE September 2018 PRICE $40,000 (base) ENGINE 3.5L DOHC 24-valve V-6/302 hp @ 6,600 rpm, 267 lb-ft @ 4,700 rpm TRANSMISSION 8-speed automatic LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front-engine, FWD sedan EPA MILEAGE 22/31-33 mpg (city/hwy) L x W x H 195.9 x 73.4 x 56.9 in WHEELBASE 113.0 in WEIGHT 3,649 lb 0-60 MPH 6.6 sec TOP SPEED N/A

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