#please let me know if I missed any warnings or anything

[lionneee]

Let The World Burn

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English is not my first language, please be kind

Modern!MafiaBoss!Aemond x fem!Reader

•Warnings: murder, kidnapping, attempted rape, omicide, fire.•

“Your boyfriend is a tough one.” He smirked as he walked behind you. You tried to talk against the gag, but all it came out were strangled sounds and whines. “He’s also hard to find.” The man pushed the blindfold down your head, over your eyes.

You trembled on the floor, fear consuming you.

“Way harder than you are anyway.” He chuckled. “But you’ll be more than useful to do the trick. I’d be surprised if I won’t see your pretty boyfriend kicking down the door to get you.”

“Sir- I’m sorry, but the lead we had turned out wrong-“

“Get out!” Aemond raised from the chair of his office, his loud voice filling the room. The private detective quickly left the office, running outside.

Aemond was a complete mess.

He managed to resist two days with your missing, before it completely started to tore him apart. He was completely out of his head, he needed to find you.

He threw the papers on his desk on the floor with all the force he had, then he paced in the room, his hair a mess, his knuckles bloody from the amount of jaws he broke to get any kind of information about your abduction.

“Fuck!” He shouted as he hit the wall with his fist.

“You need to eat.” He said as he walked in the room, taking off your gag by undoing the tie on the back of your head. “We’re not trying to kill you.” He said before freeing your hands, sitting on the chair right in front of you. You looked down at the floor, finding a tray with food and water. You quickly started to eat, you had been starving for days. You looked up at him for a moment, curious about your kidnapper.

White hair.

You scooped back on the floor, managing to get away maybe a couple of inches before hitting the pole you’ve been handcuffed to with your back.

“Daemon.” You mumbled, Your voice was shaking as much as your hands.

“That would be me, princess.” He smirked as he sat back on his chair.

“W-why are you doing this?” You kept stuttering, you were terrified. “I-I didn’t-”

“I know. You didn’t do anything.” He cut you off. “But your boyfriend… My nephew did. He killed someone he shouldn’t have touched.” He looked loosely at you, studying your reaction.

You looked at him confused, your brows arching, your expression contorting into one of confusion, then pain, then disbelief.

“Luke.” You whispered as soon as the realisation hit you. Daemon’s gaze hardened but then he nodded. 

“Smart girl.” He commented. “He killed him. So now I have to kill Aemond.”

“No!” Your voice raised, your eyes filling with tears as soon as you saw the seriousness in his intentions. “Y-you can’t! He’s your family!” You shook your head, your hands flying to the knife on the tray. But Daemon was faster, blocking both of your wrists the moment you moved, and handcuffing them back to the pole behind you. 

“Luke was family too.” He growled. You squirmed, trying to get free, but to no avail. Demon put the gag back on and left you to cry as he walked away again in the darkness of the room.

“They’re trying to torture you, brother.” Aegon said as he looked at his brother. He was leaning against his desk table, his nails scraping the expensive wood. His head was hung down, his hair covering his face. “You have to get yourself back together. We have to think of strategies on how to take them down.”

His brother was the last one that had a right to say something like that to Aemond.

They took his girl, damn it.

“Get out.” Aemond growled. 

It had been weeks since the last time he got a proper sleep. He was cold, his bed was colde.

You weren’t there to warm it for him.

To warm him.

His fingers ached to feel your skin again, so soft, and smooth.

He missed your scent, even more now, since the pillow lost any trace of it. 

The first days he pressed his face in it, and fucked his hand.

Then he would just scream in it, then fall asleep surrounded by your scent.

The day he couldn't smell you anymore, he thought he might actually go crazy, for good.

He missed you.

And he needed you, he knew it now better than ever.

“I’m impressed by your lack of preparation for this kind of situation.” She immediately sat up, her eyes snapping open at the sound of his voice. Daemon pushed the tray towards her and she  quickly lunged forward to at least drink some water.

“W-why? Why now?” She looked up at him and he took off her handcuffs. She quickly grabbed some bread from the tray and started eating it.

There was no scheme on the timing of her meals. They seemed random, and curiosity was keeping her mind full.

She didn’t know why she cared so much to find that out, if it was boredness or just a way to escape the fear.

Daemon chuckled as he sat on the chair as usual.

“You think you’re having a hard time, uh? Being kidnapped, staying here, in the darkness and coldness.” He let out a scoff. “You eat whenever Rhaenyra eats.” He explained. 

Rhaenyra.

“S-so that’s your first thought when you see her eat? Feed me?”

“You’re not the victim here. Whatever you’re going through, is nothing compared to Rhaenyra’s pain. You’re hungry? You’re scared? She’s grieving a son..” He hissed as he stood up, walking closer, squeezing your cheeks in his hand. 

Your eyes filled with tears as she only tried to imagine what it would be like to lose a son.

To lose something that you made, that you gave birth to. That you raised and loved.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered as strong conflicting emotions grew inside you.

How could you love Aemond, knowing he was the cause of such pain?

Knowing he was capable of killing one of his own family, knowing that the pain Rhaenyra is suffering now, is bigger than anything Aemond could have gone through when he lost his eye.

“You…” He clenched his jaw. “You are going to suffer. You are going to stay here, with fear eating you alive. The fear that I might come in, and beat you, not feed you ever again, touch you, rape you.” He growled, his face a mask of fury. You whined as he clenched his hands on your cheeks, hurting you, and tried to break free, but he was determined to keep you there.

“And whenever one of those things will happen.” He moved closer, his face inches from yours. “You better remember, this is all Aemond’s fault.” He then pressed his lips against yours, but it wasn't out of affection or desire.

Or better, it wasn’t about sexual desire.

It was a promise that he will act on his threats.

“Listen, Aemond, you have to face it. She’s gone. They’re letting you think she’s still alive only to mess with you, okay? We have a war to win, we can’t let an insignificant girl reduce you like-”

Aemond just snapped.

An insignificant girl? She was the love of his life.

Aemond quickly wrapped a hand around Aegon's neck, squeezing tight as he pushed him back against the wall.

“What did you say?” He hissed, his voice low and dangerous. Aegon widened his eyes, struggling against his brother's hold.

“L-Listen man-” Aegon’s voice was strained due to the lack of air. “J-just saying, okay? She was pretty and all but-”

“But nothing.” He shoved Aegon away, letting him fall on the floor. “I’m giving you two more days.” He said as he sat back on his chair behind his desk. “Then I’ll burn the world to the fucking ground, with you in it.”

“Wake up!” You heard a loud yell, a male voice that snapped you out of your moment of sleep.

“I said, wake up!” He yelled again, grabbing your hair and yanking your face up from the floor.

You let out a sharp scream at the pain then went through your head.

“Tell me where he is.” Daemon crunched down in front of you, his hand closing into a fist and pulling your hair harder. You whined loudly as you tried to raise your head to reduce the pain, but it was useless, you were too tired, too weak.

“I don’t know..:” You sobbed, opening your eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the strong light that was pointed at your face.

You’ve spent days, maybe even weeks in darkness, your eyes weren’t used to the light anymore, let alone such a strong one.

“Bullshit. Start talking.” He growled as he tugged at your hair.

“I swear I don’t!” You sobbed. “We never met in any place of his business, I don’t know!” You cried desperately.

Daemon let out a loud grunt, shoving your head back and sending it against the pole behind you.

Your vision blurred as your body slowly grew weaker to even stay awake.

The last thing you heard was:

“Arrange her funeral. Rhaenys deserves it.”

“It’s been months.” Helaena said as she sat beside him on his couch.

“She’s not dead.” Aemond grunted. His elbows rested on his knees, the palms of his hands holding his head.

He was tired of people remembering him how long it had passed.

He had already been too patient, but Aegon had only one day left.

Then he was going to take the world, and destroy it piece by piece until he’d found her.

“If she would have been dead we would have found the body already.” Helaena patted his shoulder awkwardly. “I don’t think she’s dead. I… I can feel it.” She whispered.

Aemond clenched his hands into fists.

He had always been the first to push Helaena back, telling her that the way she just felt things was absurd and surreal. 

Useless.

“Me too.” He breathed out, passing his hand through his hair in frustration. “She is alive.” He stood up and walked to his desk again.

That was when Aegon stormed inside.

“Found her.”

“Stay away!” You yelled as Daemon grabbed your ankle, dragging you towards him.

“Shut up, bitch.” He growled as he hovered over you, pinning your wrists over your head with one hand, and slapping your face with the other. “You’re just a cheap whore he bought. He doesn’t care about you, he’s not going to save you.” He hissed as he settled between your legs, thrusting his hips between your thighs, making clear his intention. “You’re only good for one thing.” He put his hand over one of your breasts, groping it tightly, making you whine and cry in pain. “He has left you behind. He left you to me.”

You screamed and kicked your feet, trying to get him off of you, but it seemed impossible.

“No! No, please no!” You sobbed as you kept squirming. “Don’t touch me! Please, I’m so sorry for Rhaenyra, please!” You cried desperately, but he simply smiled.

“Shut up.” He chuckled, in a sickening, mad way. “Shut the fuck up.” He laughed even more. “You’re mine now. You’re my prize. My trophy.”

“No -” You screamed as soon as he grabbed your knee to spread your legs, so he could grind against you. Daemon tried to kiss you, but you quickly turned your head, and screamed again as you saw a wooden wall catching fire quickly.

Daemon’s head quickly turned as he smelled the smoke and saw the fire lighting the room.

He quickly stood up as he looked at the fire, which kept eating everything it found.

“Kill anyone you see. I’ll go get her.” He told Aegon before entering the house. He put on his mask and walked in the big fog of smoke, his gun in hand.

Everyone was quickly running out, no one seemed to see or care about him as he walked inside.

Pieces of the house were starting to fall, the fire was burning everything it found.

Then he heard a scream, and his ears suddenly perked out.

He quickly ran toward the scream, stepping to a side of the house that hadn’t really picked up fire yet. He stopped in front of a door and quickly kicked it open the moment he heard another scream.

The fire in the room lightened the room enough for Aemond to see the scene clearly.

Daemon was on top of you.

And he was touching you.

Aemond's vision went red.

With a feral growl, he raised his gun, the barrel pointed directly at Daemon’s head. Before Daemon could react, a single deafening gunshot rang through the room. The bullet struck Daemon squarely in the shoulder, knocking him off of you with a roar of pain.

“Get your fucking hands off her.” Aemond snarled, stepping closer as Daemon writhed on the floor. His icy blue eye burned with rage, his jaw clenched so tight it could crack. He aimed the gun again, this time pointing at Daemon’s crotch, shaking with the force of his fury.

Daemon’s scream of pain almost shook the walls of the room, but Aemond couldn’t care less.

You were trembling, tears streaming down your face as you scrambled back against the pole where your wrists were still handcuffed to. Aemond’s gaze flicked to you, softening for just a moment. His chest heaved as he took in your disheveled appearance, the bruises on your wrists, the fear in your eyes. His heart broke and hardened all at once.

“You’ll die here, Daemon.” Aemond spat, his voice cold and merciless. Without hesitation, he pulled the trigger again, this time hitting Daemon’s leg. A scream tore from Daemon’s throat, but his laughter didn’t stop, maddeningly unhinged.

“You think this will bring her back to you? She knows what you’ve done.” Daemon wheezed. “She’ll never look at you the same.”

Aemond's eye narrowed. He took a step closer and delivered a swift, brutal kick to Daemon’s side, silencing him momentarily. He quickly searched him to find the keys to your handcuffs and as soon as he found them he turned back to you, crouching low and reaching out carefully.

“It’s me, baby." He murmured, his voice gentler now. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

You flinched at first, but as recognition dawned, you started sobbing uncontrollably. Aemond quickly freed your wrists and wrapped his arms around you tightly, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other gripping you like he’d never let go. “You’re safe now." He whispered, rocking you gently despite the chaos around you. “No one will ever touch you again. I swear it.”

The sound of creaking wood snapped him back to the present. The fire was spreading rapidly, consuming the walls and ceiling. Aemond stood, lifting you effortlessly into his arms. You clung to him, your hands fisting in his shirt as he carried you out of the room.

You could see Daemon still looking at you, a sad smile on his face.

You almost pitied him, despite knowing who he was, and what he just tried to do to you, you still felt sorry for him.

Because the man that was now carrying you out of the house in fire, had won a third time, and with that, the whole war.

That man, Aemond, destroyed their life, and killed them inside the moment he shot Luke’s head.

Aemond paused at the doorway, glancing back at Daemon, who was slumped on the floor, bleeding and coughing. “Burn in hell." Aemond said coldly before turning and carrying you out of the burning house.

Even if you did want to leave, where could you go?

Aemond looked down at you as he carried you outside, and you coughed because of the smoke. His eyes studied carefully your face as his hands tightened around you.

He was not going to let you go, so where could you go?

Aemond gently placed you in his car and before walking to the driver seat, he gently caressed your face.

“I’m never letting you out of my sight again, baby.”

A shiver went down your spine, and suddenly, a feeling you never thought you would feel with Aemond spreaded in your chest.

Fear.

Because even if you wanted to leave, there was nowhere to go. 

You were stuck with a serial killer that loved you.

Taglist: @ka1afbr@cynic-spirit@ladythornofrivia@zenka69@queenofthekeep@adorewhatever@diannnnsss@kotadislikesthissite@iloveallmyboys @valyrianflower @dixie-elocin @gelacat0413 @quinquinquincy @mamawiggers1980 @darylandbethfanforever9 @rhaethoughts @believeinthefireflies95 @urfavnoirette @summerposie @sk1mah1 @queenofshinigamis @anukulee @chlmtfilms @m-riaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @malfoycassimalfoy @agoldenwoe @sapphirevaghar

[bewaryofpity]

MERRY CHRISTMAS, I MISS YOU - N. HISCHIER

[6.7k] when you received a call from your ex on christmas eve, the last thing you wanted to do was to pretend you're still together in front of his parents.

warnings: 18+, exes to lovers, angst but not really, fluff, unprotected p in v (wrap it up !), creampie, oral both f and m receiving, slightly unedited, if i missed anything pls let me know

a/n: i have no idea what this is lol, i did lose the plot at some point so the ending i planned didn’t make it and so didn’t the title, anyhow i think it’s best this way. i hope you all enjoy ! feedback is greatly appreciated ♡

A year had passed, it was December again and Nico had done nothing if not being stuck with the same feeling of missing you. Almost an entire year of no contact, apart from a few congrats texts for your occasional achievements, and yet there he was staring at his phone for the third time tonight, his thumb hovering over your name. 

Nico was no coward, he needed to keep his head on his shoulders for his line of work, but he was certainly trying to find any excuse to keep him from calling you. Almost one year of convincing himself that he moved on, that he was content with how your relationship has ended, just for all that progress to crumble at his feet because he was, actually, a coward. 

But this wasn’t just about him. His parents were in town for Christmas for the first time in years, excited to finally spend the holidays in New Jersey with his son. And they expected you to be there. He hadn’t told them you two broke up, though. He couldn’t. He was never able to break the news to his mom who considered you as her daughter, and he had to pay the price now.

With a heavy sigh, Nico pressed call. He immediately started to regret calling, cringing at the idea of a missed call on your phone if he hung up now, when the ringing stopped.

“Hello?” You said, voice coated with slight confusion. Nico felt a punch to the chest at the sound of your voice, all at once familiar and foreign.

“Hey, it’s me.” Nico’s voice faltered.

“I know.” You promptly utter. Silence fell on the line.

“It’s been a while, I know,” Nico mumbled “but I need a favor.” You hummed as an acknowledgement for him to keep speaking. 

“My parents are in town for Christmas and they expect to see you.”

“I don’t see why they—”

“I never told them.”

Nico was almost sure you hung up for how quiet you became. His heart drumming in his chest was making him more helpless than he already was, unable to come up with something else to say. 

His phone sat heavy on his hand when he heard you take a deep breath. A nervous laugh escaped your mouth, what the hell whispered in between. 

“You’ve had all this time to tell them we broke up, what were you waiting for?” Your voice lacked judgment. 

“I know I messed up,” he said, desperation creeping into his voice. “But they’re here now, and I—I didn’t know how to tell them. It’s Christmas tomorrow, Y/N. They’re so excited to see you. I just need you to come tonight or tomorrow. Please.”

“Nico—”

“It’s just one dinner. Then you’ll never have to hear from me again. I swear. If not for me, do it for them at least.”

He could almost see your furrowed eyebrows and the silence on the line was suffocating him again. Your calm breathing was making his chest tight, not ready to brace for rejection.

“Okay.”

He took a long exhale, “thank you.” He spoke softly, a small smile painting his lips.

Before he had the chance to speak up, you had already hung up. Nico sat back, his head tipping against the edge of the couch, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling while bringing his arm down with a thud. Your voice still echoed in his ears, each word carving a hollow space in his chest. Your voice was as warm as he remembered, yet so flat.

Y/N: spare key still under the mat? i’m coming after work, not sure about tomorrow.

Nico’s phone vibrated in his hand, your text’s preview giving him some reassurance.

Nico: yes Nico: and thank you

He pushed himself off the couch, his body feeling heavy. It wasn’t long before he had to go and pick up his parents from the airport. He absentmindedly picked up his car keys and walked out to his car.

It was supposed to be simple. A call, a favor, a dinner. But he has been clinging to the idea of you, of what you used to be, that he now felt like facing the consequences of his own actions instead of dragging you back into his life would have been a much better idea. 

Nico didn’t realize the drive, the pick up, and the drive back to his apartment had already happened. Tension began coiling in his chest, the heavy weight he kept feeling for days now coming back.

He didn’t want to see you, actually. Or maybe he did. His mind was bringing him back to the night you both had reluctantly agreed that a break up was needed. It was no secret to you that he didn’t want to break up, he told you then. He wasn’t happy, he felt like dying for the most part. He couldn’t sleep, let alone leave his apartment if not for practice and games. But that was what you wanted and he gave it to you.

“You okay in there, kid?” His dad’s call out echoed from the living room, bringing him back to reality. 

“Yeah, I just needed water.” Nico called back. When he turned around to join them in the living room, he was met with his mom leaning on the kitchen doorway. With eyes wide, he gave her a tight lipped smile, hoping she won’t question his behavior. I’m fine wouldn’t have been enough for her, she could always see right through him, and even if Nico told her the truth it probably wouldn’t have made him feel any better.

Before she could say something, the front door opened and his mom jumped to see you, forgetting about his son, and Nico stayed there with goosebumps forming on his arms, hot and cold shivers running down his spine. 

Upon entering you heard a brief silence. You didn’t even register that his mom was right there that she already jogged to bring you in her arms. You were frozen in your space for a second, unsure of what to do. The last time you’d seen each other was the summer Nico brought you to Switzerland where everything felt so right. Yet here you were. You missed her, that was true; she reached out to you a few times, and despite knowing it was out of the kindness of her heart, you couldn’t help but think of how many excuses Nico threw at her for your not being around. How he lied to his mom for all this time was something you couldn’t comprehend.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you, sweetheart!” She cheered, parting slightly from the hug and giving your shoulders a comforting squeeze.

“Hi, Mrs. Hischier.”

“Please, how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Katja.” She waved you off and you smiled. His dad followed, giving you a simple side hug.

As his parents continued fussing over you, Nico finally moved to the living room to watch the scene unfold. You stood in his apartment again and it felt like you never left. You were beautiful and you had those rosy cheeks you would get from the cold wind of Jersey that Nico loved so much. The ache in his chest grew and it was getting hard to resist the tears that kept forming in his eyes since this morning.

When you made eye contact with Nico it was like someone punched you in the chest. His brown eyes were glossy, wide like a deer in headlights. He didn’t shave, not that he did often, but it looked less kept than it usually was.

You reluctantly stepped towards him, gaze focused on his chest and that’s when you saw his left hand twitch in your direction before he brought it back down. It completely left your mind that you couldn’t keep your distance from him now with his parents here. Though the moments you two kissed in front of family were almost nonexistent, Nico was always the kind of guy to keep you close within arm reach, so no physical contact would be odd.

So you did the most natural thing you could do. You gave him a hug. Your skin was burning where he was touching you. It felt like that night again and you wanted to disappear. You felt his heart rapidly thumping in his chest, or maybe it was yours. It didn’t really matter. Nico looked at his mom before he looked down at you. He was getting overwhelmed with the amount of times he almost cried only today and prayed for the day to come to an end sooner.

“Hey.” Your voice was small, audible only to him. He replied with an equally small hey, throat dry. Silence stretched between you and you could feel the tension on your skin. A small part of you couldn’t part ways as you inhaled his scent. The warmth from his chest was seeping through his hoodie and you wished you could just stay there a little longer.

You barely drew back when Katja put a hand on your shoulder and brought you back into her with a side hug. 

“Come, sit. Let me catch you up while we eat. I’ll show you some pictures from this summer, it was a shame you couldn’t come to Switzerland this time.”

You casted a glance at Nico which he avoided. You barely registered Katja’s words as she scrolled through her phone for you and all you could think of was how she deserved to know. She looked so happy sharing these memories with you, as though you still belonged here, and it wasn’t her fault that she believed so. 

“Next time, you have to come. We missed you so much.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

You swallowed hard, forcing another smile. Nico shifted in his chair beside you, his hand reaching for his water but his posture was rigid. He didn’t say a word, you could feel the tension radiating off him silently acknowledging the lie hanging in the air. A part of you wanted to say something, to clear the air, because his mom was kind, but it wasn’t for you to deal with. It wasn’t you that lied.

The pizza in front of you looked unpleasant as the ache in your stomach made you more nauseous. 

*

You wanted to go home. Nico’s parents called it a night early blaming it on jet lag and that tomorrow is gonna be a big day, his father said.

You were left alone with Nico in the living room, neither of you were saying anything. You were just staring ahead paying no mind to whatever Christmas movie was left playing softly on the TV.

It was awkward. You put yourself in this situation because you missed Nico, truthfully. When he called you this morning you weren’t really thinking of what was best for you, you just wanted an excuse to come back to him. Selfish as it was. It was rather hypocritical that you craved his presence again after you were the one to propose the break up. But you spent two years together so your whole life consisted of him. He was everywhere, your apartment smelled like him even months after he left, things he left behind that both of you have forgotten about were lingering in a corner in your closet. It took time letting him go from your mind, but you were here and it felt so wrong. The look he gave you when you parted from your hug earlier made you feel so guilty.

“I’ll sleep here, you can take the bed.” Nico said softly, voice above a whisper. You startled anyway, jerking your head in his direction. You had told him earlier that to not raise any suspicion with his parents, you would spend the night here.

“It’s your bed.” You replied with the same tone. He looked at you now, his brown eyes glowing in the dim light emanating from the TV. You couldn’t take the bed, it would smell like him and you could endure it only so much before going crazy. 

“It doesn't matter.”

“What are you gonna tell them when they find you here in the morning?” He didn’t answer, instead he brought his focus back to the TV. Were you going to regret this? Probably. “Just come to bed with me, Nico.”

Avoiding his gaze, you slowly began walking towards his room, your feet moving on their own accord. Everything was left the same. The pit in your stomach grew tighter when you pushed the door to his room open and blindly reached for the lamp on the nightstand. The patter of Nico’s feet grew louder until he reached his bedroom’s doorway.

“There’s still some clothes you left here.” He motioned to the dresser next to him. You hummed in response and as he rummaged through one of the drawers, you stood by the bed like you couldn't move. Idiot. If you weren't staring at him so intensely you would've missed how shaky his hands were when he reached for you to grab at your clothes. You peered up for a second, his gaze focused on the clothes in his hand heavy.

“I’ll–”

“Yeah.”

The bathroom door clicked shut behind you, your forehead coming to rest on it. He was beautiful. And he made your heart warm like he always knew how to. But he wasn’t the Nico you always knew, you could see it in his eyes. Fear started pooling in your stomach. Was it your doing? You avoided the mirror in front of you completely.

After hastily changing and brushing your teeth, you joined him back into the room. He was already under the covers, on his usual side, front facing the window. You quietly got under the blanket too and laid close to the end of the bed staring at the ceiling. The hum of the heater filled the silence, yet the weight of unspoken words pressed down on your heart.

“Never thought you’d say yes.”

You took your time to respond and kept staring at the white ceiling illuminated by the moonlight coming through the curtains’ gap.

“Why?”

The rustling of the covers filled the silence as Nico shifted slightly. 

“You made it seem like you wanted nothing to do with me anymore.”

“I don’t regret you, Nico.”

“I never said you did.”

You exhaled sharply. The weight of the duvet became unbearable, and with a swift motion you shoved it off, pooling in your lap; arms followed with a dull thud, slamming onto the bunched-up duvet. The cold air nipped at your exposed burning skin.

“Talk to me.” You breathed. Nico didn't move and you were growing frustrated. “Do you regret it?”

“Being with you? Sometimes. I made many mistakes and you were always there for me and I took that for granted. I pushed you away when you needed me most, and by the time I realized it, it was too late. I know you deserve so much better but deep down, I wish we didn't end that night, we just stay there and talk it out.”

“I think that maybe I would always let you come back” he said softly, almost inaudibly, “not that I waited for you, exactly. But when I called you this morning and you agreed, I had the tiniest hope that things could change. If you came, and at the end of the night told me you still loved me and asked me to be yours again… I'm not sure there’s anything in the world I wouldn't have done for that to really happen.”

Shuffling towards the middle of the bed, your hand reached for him to comb through his hair, his body jumping a little at the unexpected contact. He shifted a little to get closer to you and turned around to face you.

“You’re awful.”

“What?”

“Don’t say things like that,” you said, your voice low and strained. “Not when we’re lying here like this. I didn’t leave because I stopped loving you, Nico, I left because I didn’t recognize us anymore. You were indifferent, coming home upset and angry more often than not all because of your job. I could’ve respected that, I would’ve listened to you if you opened up to me. But you didn’t talk to me anymore and I didn’t know what to do with you, it’s like you were holding a knife to my chest and slowly pushing it deeper until you reached my heart. It got to a point where I dreamed of you asking me questions, talking to me, desiring me like you always did. Then I’d open my eyes and you're someone different.”

“Maybe in another lifetime we will find each other at the right time. Maybe we end up like this in each one, but I like to believe there is at least one where we deserve each other. I just don't think it’s this one.”

Your hand never stopped caressing through his hair. It didn’t take long for a stray tear to fall from your eye just as Nico closed his eyes to avoid his own spilling over the pillow with no avail. You halted your movements to bring your thumb under his eye and wipe at the loose tears. He didn’t say anything else, and neither did you. Nico grabbed at the covers you bunched up earlier to cover you again.

You shifted slightly, the duvet brushing against your arm as your body relaxed fully into the mattress. You felt his warmth beside you — steady and grounding. The minutes dragged on, and eventually both of your breathing slowed, evening out into sleep. 

*

It was early in the morning when Nico woke up. The sunrise barely peeked through the curtains, casting a soft glow over his bed. It took him a while to realize that it wasn’t his duvet weighing on his chest, it was you. Your face was mushed and lips pouty, his right arm wrapped around you securely. You looked like an angel.

He didn’t have it in his heart to wake you up. Instead, his gaze lingered on your peaceful expression, focused on the soft rise and fall of your breaths that tickled his skin, a steady rhythm that made his chest ache. His thumb brushed against your shoulder lightly, a barely-there touch because it all felt like a dream and he didn’t want it to end. He sighed softly, tilting his head back against the pillow and closing his eyes again. The weight of your body lulled him back to sleep, the hold on you loosening slightly but never letting go.

Moments later, the morning light shining on your eyes stirred you awake, and you couldn’t help but blink groggily. The warmth surrounding you was so comforting that you couldn’t resist burying your face into it and that’s when your heart began to race. Nico’s face was so close you only needed to make the slightest movement before his lips would graze your forehead; his features relaxed and peaceful in his sleep. The stubble on his jaw caught the morning glow, and the soft strands of his hair brushed against his forehead.

Every instinct screamed at you to move, to untangle yourself from the undeniable comfort of being close to him again, but the minutes passed and the blush on your cheeks deepened with every second you lingered. When it became too much to bear, slowly, carefully, you slid out from under his arm, your movements cautious to avoid waking him. 

Your feet hit the cool floor and the blush now burning like wildfire across your cheeks while you tiptoed to the kitchen, closing the door gently behind you. The conversation with Nico kept replaying in your head, or rather the fact that he was crying, and Nico never cried in front of you unless they were happy tears. 

You relished in his touch. The feeling of his stubble on your hands was something you never thought you’d miss, yet the rough texture was rather comforting. And then this morning when his lips have probably grazed your skin in your sleep at least once, you wished you were conscious to savor it like you actually didn't deserve. 

“Huh?”

“I said good morning and merry Christmas.” Katja smiled brightly at you, Rino mirroring her action while also raising his coffee cup. You looked ridiculous still in your rumpled makeshift pajamas and your face still flushed from the morning’s events. 

“Oh, merry Christmas.” You offered a small smile as you moved to pour yourself some coffee, hyper aware of their presence. Despite the blush painting your cheeks, you started to feel cold. The t-shirt Nico gave you was thin, an old band shirt you left behind, but the pants were scrunched at your feet. He didn’t notice they were actually his yesterday, they were always yours to wear anyway.

“You’re up early,” Katja remarked, setting her coffee cup on the table. “I thought for sure you two would sleep in after staying up so late talking.”

Your hand froze mid-reach, “yeah, just couldn’t sleep much.” You replied, hoping your tone was casual enough.

She gave you a look but said nothing, her warm demeanor unchanging though she definitely knew something was off. Did she actually hear what you said yesterday night? The walls couldn’t be that thin, right? The sound of footsteps from the hallway behind you woke you up a little, and you didn’t need to turn around to know it was Nico.

“Morning,” he said, his voice gravelly from sleep. You turned slightly, catching sight of him leaning against the counter next to you. His brown hair was disheveled and his shirt slightly wrinkled, but his expression was almost unreadable. If you didn’t know otherwise, you would’ve mistaken his slightly puffy eyes for sleepiness.

His gaze lingered on the ground for a moment, and then he tilted his head up, noticing the way you had wrapped your free arm around yourself. Before you could protest, Nico walked out of the kitchen. Katja glanced at you confused after he barely acknowledged her or Rino.

“Here,” he said, holding his black hoodie from yesterday out to you. It was your favorite, the one that was so fuzzy inside it felt like a blanket and the one he would leave behind for you when he left for road trips. You blinked, momentarily stunned by the gesture. 

“Oh, I’m fine—”

“You’re shivering.” He interrupted, his voice firm but gentle. His gaze met yours and reluctantly you took the hoodie, your fingers brushing his briefly as you did.

“Thanks.” You mumbled, slipping it over your head. The warmth was immediate, just like the familiar trace of his scent as it filled your senses. What made it impossible to bear was Nico leaning over just slightly to press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. Blush be damned.

Nico moved around the kitchen to pour himself some coffee as you caught the faintest hint of a smirk on Katja’s face. As she walked past to place her now empty cup in the sink, she leaned close to you with the same sly smile still playing on her lips.

“We’re not gonna let Nico cook alone later, right?”

*

The day went by fast and dinner was long done. The unavoidable intimacy seemed to dissipate the cold demeanor you had opted for yesterday when you arrived, just as Nico started to look less dejected. Letting him back in your life wouldn’t be that bad, after all, you did drop everything to be here with him. You still loved him, just like he did you, but you couldn’t accept coming back to Nico after all this pain you left him with.

“What happened between you and Nico?”

The question made you falter, almost dropping the already slippery plate in your hands. There was no you and Nico anymore. Whatever happened between you two didn’t matter anymore as now none of it made sense. It was your mistake all along, the break up. Because if it wasn’t for a bad day at work for the both of you, you wouldn’t have fought and none of this would have happened.

“Why?”

“You two seem off.”

You wanted out of the relationship for your own sake, yet you didn’t realize how much you were hurting until yesterday. The no escaping his touch or his gaze made your head dizzy because it took you months before you convinced yourself that you were fine without him, and now that Nico was gentle to you even in the mess he created that he so wanted to disappear from, your newfound façade was long gone.

“Nothing. Our schedules clashed often and we didn't have much time for ourselves.”

Part of it was true if you thought back to last year. With Nico constantly on road trips and his team not playing their best, and your job keeping you away from him, the only time you saw each other was during nighttime. And with both of you exhausted there wasn’t much to say without striking a nerve.

Katja leaned her hip on the counter, leaning slightly to try to read your expression, your eyebrows furrowed as you kept scrubbing the same plate over and over again. 

You didn’t notice Nico lingering by the door until his mom placed a hand on your shoulder. You turned around in his direction as she walked past him with a good night under her breath, just as Nico came to stand in her previous spot.

“How long have you been standing there?” 

“Long enough to tell you that that plate is clean enough.”

You handed him the last plate with a sigh and as you waited for him to dry it, you couldn’t help but stare at his faint smile. Before you could stop yourself, your hand reached for his cheek, brushing at the small new scar there. His movements hesitated for a moment before turning to face you, your hand dropping slightly at the action. You almost missed the way his gaze dropped to your lips for a split second before looking back into your eyes.

Maybe it was the wine you both drank earlier or maybe it was meant to happen. Nico leaned down, cupping your face to kiss you. It was gentle, a bit hesitant, almost as if he was giving you space to pull away. But you didn’t, not even if your brain told you so.

He pulled away, lips still brushing yours and his eyes closed. You missed his lips on yours, so soft and tender just as you remembered and desperately wished to feel again.

“I’m sor—“

You didn’t let him finish as you put your lips back on his, hands making their way from his chest to wrap around his neck. You were desperate for more, fearing that the moment would end too soon, but Nico squeezed your hip a little to ground you. He wasn’t going anywhere.

His tongue brushed your lips and you let him in. A small moan escaped his mouth and you couldn’t help but feed into it. A faint taste of wine still lingered on his tongue, sweetness clouding your thoughts.

“Please tell me to stop”

“No, don’t stop.”

Both of his hands trailed their way around your body, eager to feel every curve of your body again. He needed to feel you, keep his hands on you to ground himself because he was scared this actually never happened and it was just a sick joke his mind was playing.

As the kiss grew more sloppy and hands roaming with no set purpose, Nico held you impossibly closer to him, his body heat burning against your skin. He held tightly onto your waist, murmuring a small jump against your lips as he hoisted you up the counter, legs instinctively wrapping around his lower back.

The overwhelming feeling of it all almost made you cry. It was tender, yet the way your lips moved set a different pace.

“Take me to bed, Nico.”

He gently pushed away strands of hair that had fallen in front of your eyes before his hand rested on your cheek. “We don’t have to, we can stop now and it’ll all be okay.”

“I need you to make love to me.” And Nico grabbed at your thighs, keeping you tight against his chest as he walked to his bedroom. You didn’t have to tell him twice, he just wanted to give you space in case this was too much.

He laid you gently on the bed and kissed you again, fervor replaced by love. He pecked your lips before pressing another kiss to your cheek.

“You’re so beautiful.” He said as one of his hands traveled up your hoodie, leaving a tingling trail where he had touched you, while the other one gave him support by your head.

You brought his lips back on yours, thumbs tracing every curve of his cheeks. Beard tickling your skin, his plush lower lip found its way between yours, and he allowed his mouth to smile against yours for the first time today. You were lost in the feeling of him, and so was him with yours, lips brushing as though this was the lifetime in which you were meant for each other. 

What you once knew as love filled both of your hearts again. This wasn’t fair. His hands on you, his lips on you, you in his bed. It wasn’t fair because you broke his heart, just as you broke your own.

“Take my hoodie off.” You whispered and he obliged. Nico’s nose skimmed along your neck, delighting himself in the way your skin felt along the warmth of his own. And he allowed himself to slide down to trace the skin of your collarbone, then kissing along the ridges of your ribs and allowing himself to drown once more in you.

As his lips reached your hips, he looked up at you smiling so sweetly, a sort of reassurance painting your face. He slid your jeans off before he brought himself up to you, reveling in the feeling of your chest meeting his own with every heaving breath. The soft lace of your bra brushed his chest, catching the curves and edges of his skin.

It had been too long since you’d felt his touch —or anyone’s for that matter— so the touch of his hands against your skin was enough to fuel the pulsing ache between your legs. 

You took his hand in yours, placing a kiss on the center of his palm before slowly guiding his hand down to your center. And Nico never stopped looking at you, not even when the feeling of the damp fabric as he slid a finger over your clothed slit made a groan escape his lips.

He left a trail of open-mouthed kisses on his way back to your thighs, discarding your bra in the process. You whined when he nipped his teeth against the sensitive skin of your thigh, and you whined again at the soft brush of his mustache on the same spot.

Gently pushing your panties aside, Nico stroked two fingers along your now-bare slit, heat rushing to his cheeks at the way your hips involuntarily rolled into him, chest heaving at his touch. 

“Is this okay?” You nodded in response and he didn’t wait much before dipping into your core. With a gentle grip, he pushed your thighs apart, kissing your folds before licking a long stripe over them. 

And Nico was in heaven as you squirmed under his touch, reveling in the feeling of your warm thighs caging his head as soft moans escaped your mouth. The scratch of his beard sent jolts down your spine and when he added a finger inside of you, you couldn’t help the buckle of your hips against his mouth.

Your hand busied through his hair, fingers tugging at his roots gently and the vibrations from his groans against your clit sent you overwhelming waves of pleasure. You sounded like an angel to his ears and Nico had to roll his hips onto the bed sheets to soothe himself just a little bit.

“Please give it to me, baby.” Nico murmured against your core as he added another finger.

And you dared to look down at him, so concentrated in getting a taste of you, gently and slowly because he missed this and his body yearned for a taste of you like a drug.

The feeling of his fingers curling inside of you in the right spots and his tongue applying pressure on your clit were enough for the air to leave your lungs. With a moan, slightly too loud, you came on his fingers and Nico held you against him to catch every single drop of your release.

“You taste so sweet, baby.”

Baby. You opened your eyes to see his cheeks red, your arousal coating his chin and he’s looking at you like you hung the moon through hazy eyes. It didn’t come as a surprise to you when a tear fell from your eyes, and soon you couldn’t stop them from running down your cheeks.

He kissed his way up to you with a sort of urgency to cradle your face in his hands. And the tears didn’t stop when he tried to kiss them away.

“I’m right here, you’re okay.”

“I love you. I’m sorry.”

It was the only thing you could say, really, unsure whether the apology was directed to yourself or him. But it didn’t really matter because he was here now, in your arms, sensitive and tender as ever. 

“Nico”

“Mh?” His face mere inches away from yours, noses and lips brushing.

“Let me take care of you.”

Nico would have told you no, because he didn’t need your mouth to show him you still loved him, your words were more than enough to him. But your hands moved from his shoulders down to his chest, stopping right at his heart and he knew you could feel his heart racing up. 

So he let you guide him on his back as you shifted on top of him, straddling his thighs before kissing your way down. You mouthed at the skin on his neck, focusing on sucking at the pulsing point connecting at his shoulder.

His abs clenched under the touch of your hands and a staggered breath left his lips when your face reached the band of his boxers. You kissed around his hips, delicate fingers tracing up and down his thighs as you teased his tip over his boxers with a kiss, causing it to jump under your touch. You noticed a small damp spot and you smiled, pulling down his boxers agonizingly slow. Eager as he has always been with you, you knew it took every ounce of control for him not to lose himself then.

You brought your hand to the base of his cock, his breath hitching as you pumped him slowly, and squeezing just slightly to milk precum out of his tip. You followed the vein from the base to his tip with your tongue as your thumb pressed over the leaking slit, hips jumping at your touch.

“Please don’t tease me.” He whined under his breath, watching as you brought your thumb to your lips. And how could you say no to that?

You parted your lips to suck at his tip, sinking down until you reached his base and Nico shivered underneath you at the contact with the back of your throat. Your mouth continued to work around him, and he whimpered as you flatten your tongue to take more of him into your mouth. And he was drowning in pleasure as you used one of your hands to wrap around what you couldn’t take in your mouth as the other gripped at his thigh.

You made eye contact with him when his right hand caressed through your hair and you moaned around him, a few strands of his hair sticking to his forehead and chest flushed. You felt his cock twitch inside of you and you knew he was close. He was in such a haze he almost missed that a few more strokes of your tongue would’ve made him come, and he didn’t want that. He wanted to relish in the feeling of your walls for that.

A soft stop left his lips just as his hand carefully pulled at your hair to get you off him. And the sight of you, lips parted and wet and subtly swollen, weren’t helping his cause.

He shifted his weight onto his elbow, other hand cradling your face to pull you in for a chaste kiss. 

“Let me be yours.”

“You’ve always been.”

With his head on your shoulder, he gently pushed you down onto your back. Nico lifted himself to his knees, sliding his boxers down his legs and slipping out of them before hovering you again and removing your panties. His forehead came to rest against yours, eyes fluttering shut as he paused in his movements to take it all in. He had you again and he needed to make the most out of his time, fear looming in the back of his mind that you’d still leave tomorrow without a word.

Your hands cupped his jaw and you arched forward to capture his lips on yours. It was slow, his fingers curling around the nape of your neck, pulling you closer. Eagerly, he pressed into your touch, the soft weight of his chest pressing into yours comforting.

Your legs wrapped around his torso hoping to get some relief from your aching core. And Nico never stopped kissing you as he aligned himself with your entrance, teasing you with his length along your slit and causing you to buck, moans suppressed by his saccharine lips.

As he inched in, deeper into you, Nico savoured your warmth as if you were made just for him —and truthfully you were— movements deliberate and steady just like how he knew you liked.

He didn’t want to seem desperate but you were squeezing him tight, nails digging into his back and your arms wrapped tightly around him refusing to let him go. With the heels of your feet pressing into his lower back, he knew not to be ashamed for your desperation matched his. 

His body curled over yours, nose poking at your jaw so he could bite at your throat as he keeps fucking into you. One hand came to cup the back of your neck bringing you impossibly closer, and the way he was whispering dirty little nothings, lips brushing the shell of your ear, brought you to the edge.

Nico’s set thrusts urged you ever closer to your peak as he rolled his hips into yours, movement heavy inside of you, his fingers dropping to draw circles on your sensitive clit as your labored murmuring for more fanned against his lips. And you were an angel with the way you took him, welcoming him in at the gates of heaven with your honeyed sounds.

You rushed forward, chasing his lips as your release surged through you, tightening around him with a sweet sigh and his tongue swept into your mouth as he drowned your moans. His own release followed right after, emptying inside of you. The sound of his satisfied groan blissful to your ears as he came to rest on top of you.

Heaved breathing, Nico’s head settled on your chest and you made to sweep his hair from his eyes to admire the sweat-sheen glow adorning his warm skin. Your hands worked at his shoulder, kneading the muscles there as you took every opportunity to feel his skin against yours.

Nico shifted on his side and brought you with him, taking a moment to press a kiss to his pec, his neck and his lips once again. 

“Will you let me stay?”

“I don’t think you really need my answer to that.”

Nico slid his hands up your side, bringing your thigh over his hip. His large palm heavy as you shifted impossibly closer, one hand rubbing his scalp. And you kissed him without lust, simply reveling in the feel of his tongue dancing against yours, while he followed your lead wordlessly, squeezing so tenderly at your hip because this time he knows you will be there tomorrow. And any other day after.

[foreverisntenough]

‘Movie Night’

Summary: If only life was like the movies. For years, you’d flirted with the idea of something more with Trent, your brother’s best friend.  You'd always danced around the edges of something more with him, sharing flirty moments that felt like scenes straight from the cinema. You had been silently desperate for the main character of your life’s film to finally get the boy but you knew moments like that were saved for Hollywood. The lines were clear; you were always going to be his mate’s little sister. So what happens when you go off script? In a whirlwind of passion, secrets, and stolen moments, you're left wondering: will you and your brother's best friend get the happy ending you've been waiting for, or was it never meant to be more than a fantasy? 

Index:

Warnings: This series is 18+ MDNI [ smut, dv, loss of a parent, drinking - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series!

Disclaimer: Still the same.

Chapter 19 - 'Dad’ | ‘Movie Night'

word count - 10.3 k

It was just past 6 a.m. when Jack heard the soft creak of the side door opening. He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he rubbed the back of his neck. He had been up for a while now, nursing his coffee in the kitchen and mentally preparing for the day. The text Trent had sent somehow even earlier had left him rolling his eyes, and now here he was, sneaking in like some lovesick teenager. Jack set his mug down with a dull thud and turned as Trent stepped inside, looking more awake than he had any right to at that hour. A tired but knowing grin stretched across Trent’s face as he quietly shut the door behind him. A bag was slung over his shoulder, which caught Jack’s attention for a moment before he decided to brush it off.

“Bro, it’s just unnecessary for you to be here this early,” Jack muttered, crossing his arms and giving Trent a look that bordered on disapproval.

“Jacky lad, come on, don’t be like that,” Trent replied, punching Jack’s arm lightly as he passed. The playful gesture did little to mask the nervous energy buzzing under his skin.

“Nah, serious,” Jack pressed, shaking his head. “It’s mad early, and you’re creeping around my house like a burglar. Bit much, isn’t it?” Trent raised his hands in mock surrender, the grin never leaving his face. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll be quick. Thanks for letting me come over, yeah? I just… I gotta talk to her real quick. Won’t take long.” Jack stared at him for a beat, trying to figure out whether he was annoyed or just resigned. 

“Yeah, alright, mate,” he said, finally giving Trent a shove in the shoulder. “Do what you’ve gotta do.” As Trent moved toward the stairs, Jack stayed rooted in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with his arms folded. He watched Trent ascend the staircase, his steps careful and deliberate, and shook his head with a rueful chuckle. This was his new normal, wasn’t it? Trent sneaking into his house not to see him, his best mate, but to see you, his younger sister. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but Jack was trying. For you. For Trent. He was glad Trent was putting in effort and glad he was coming to talk to you. Upstairs, Trent moved with purpose, his feet soft against the carpet as he made his way to your room. The house was quiet, the only sounds the faint ticking of a clock and the distant hum of the world outside. The early morning light filtered through the windows, casting warm streaks of gold on the walls. He reached your door and paused, his hand hovering over the doorknob. A nervous breath escaped his lips, and he ran a hand over his hair, hesitating for just a moment. He hated how much he’d missed you, even though it had only been a couple of days. Finally, he twisted the knob and pushed the door open slowly, the faint creak of the hinges breaking the silence.

The room was dim, the curtains drawn but not fully closed, letting in just enough light to bathe the space in a soft glow. You were curled up in the center of the bed, buried under a blanket, your hair fanned out against the pillow. Trent’s lips tugged into a smile at the sight of you. He stepped inside, shutting the door quietly behind him and setting the bag down on the floor. For a moment, he just stood there, soaking you in—the peaceful rise and fall of your chest, the way your lashes rested against your cheeks.

“Morning, pretty girl,” he whispered, his voice low and soft as he approached the bed. You stirred at the sound, your face scrunching up briefly before your eyes fluttered half open with a squint.

“T? Baby?” you murmured, your voice soft and laced with sleep as you felt the bed dip slightly. It took you a second to register the figure standing at your bedside, but when you saw Trent, a sleepy smile broke across your face.

“Mmmm, course it’s me, baby,” Trent whispered back, his voice warm and comforting as his lips brushed against the bare skin of your shoulder. His scent wrapped around you, a mix of his cologne and the faintest trace of fresh air from outside.

“What are you doing here?” you asked groggily, your brows furrowing as you tried to fully wake up. “Thought you were leaving. I was planning to already be missing you.” Your voice held a pout as you blinked up at him, your eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room.

“C’mere, pretty girl,” Trent murmured, his hands gently pulling you into him, wrapping you in his warmth. You didn’t resist, letting your body mold against his as he held you close.

“Hi…” you giggled softly, nuzzling into his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath your cheek.

“Look so good like this,” he said with a smirk, his fingers playing with the thin strap of your pajama top. His eyes traced over you with a softness that made your cheeks warm.

“I look… tired probably,” you laughed, a little embarrassed as you nestled your face into the crook of his neck to hide.

“Not to me,” he whispered, his voice low and sincere, making your heart skip. You pulled back slightly, your curiosity piqued. 

“No, seriously, baby. What are you doing here?” you asked, your arms instinctively wrapping around his waist to hold him closer. Trent let out a quiet sigh, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing over your skin in slow, soothing strokes. 

“I couldn’t go… not yet,” he murmured. Your brows knit together as you searched his face, trying to piece together what he wasn’t saying. 

“Why? You okay, baby?” you asked, your voice soft and filled with wonder. He hesitated for a moment, his dark eyes flickering with something vulnerable, something real. His hand slipped to the back of your neck, holding you gently as he gathered his thoughts. 

“When I go, baby, I want to leave knowing you’re mine. I want to leave with you as my girlfriend.” Your breath hitched at his words, your heart racing in your chest as you stared up at him. “You’ve been my dream girl my entire life, you know that? And… if you’d let me, I’d want you to be my girl for the rest of it. So…” He trailed off, his voice soft and filled with nerves as he studied your reaction. Your eyes filled with tears, the weight of his words settling over you like a warm blanket. 

“Okay,” you sniffled, your voice trembling as you gave him a small nod.

“Yeah?” he asked, his lips curving into a hopeful smile, though you could see the tension in his shoulders as he waited for more.

“Are you sure?” you whispered, a shy smile breaking through the tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Gonna be my girlfriend now, yeah?” he murmured, his forehead coming to rest against yours. “For every season. Gonna take care of you forever, pretty girl.”

“T…” you whimpered, unable to find the words as emotion choked you. Your hands clung to him tightly, your face burying in his chest as you nodded against him. He chuckled softly, the sound rumbling through his chest as he pressed a kiss to your hair. 

“None of that, baby. Don’t cry.” He smiled sympathetically.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice muffled as your tears soaked into his shirt. “I didn’t think… I didn’t think anyone would ever love me like this.” You let out a sentiment far heavier than anything you were expecting this morning. His hands on you felt gentle something you never knew you didn't have.

“Shhh, baby,” he murmured, his arms wrapping securely around you, holding you as if he could shield you from all the pain you’d ever felt. “I’ll never let anything hurt you again. I promise.” You pulled back just enough to look at him, your tear-streaked face glowing as a smile spread across your lips. 

“I love you,” you whispered, the words tumbling out naturally, as if they’d always been there, waiting for this moment. Trent’s eyes softened, his gaze locking with yours as he leaned in, brushing his lips against yours in a kiss so tender it made your heart ache. 

“I love you too,” he whispered against your lips, his voice steady and sure. The two of you stayed there, wrapped in each other, the world outside fading away as the weight of his words and the promise in his eyes made you feel more whole than you’d ever thought possible. “I’m gonna ask and properly take you out, swear,” Trent whispered, his thumb grazing over your cheek in the soft glow of morning. His voice was gentle, but there was an earnestness behind it that made your heart skip a beat. “I just didn’t want to take to the pitch ever again without you being my girlfriend, that alright, pretty girl?” His lips pressed to yours in a kiss so soft, so unhurried, that it felt like time stood still. You melted into him, your sleepy haze mixing with the overwhelming feeling of love that settled deep in your chest. Everything about this moment felt surreal, like a dream you never wanted to wake up from.

“You didn’t have to do all this, baby,” you whimpered, your voice trembling with emotion as tears threatened to spill over again. “Just you here…. this is perfect.” You confessed.

“Nah, Y/N… baby,” he murmured with a smirk that sent a flutter through your stomach. It was mischievous, cheeky and ever endearing. “You think I’m waking you up like this just with words?” His dimples deepened as his playful grin grew. You giggled, brushing your hand across his chest as he shifted beside you. Your brows furrowed when he leaned off the bed, reaching for something on the floor. When he straightened up, your eyes widened. In his hands was the most beautiful bouquet of fresh peonies, their soft pink and white petals still glistening with dew.

“For the most gorgeous girl in the whole world,” he said softly, holding them out to you. Your heart clenched as you took the bouquet from him, the delicate fragrance filling the air around you.

“Baby…” you whimpered, your voice shaky as you buried your nose into the flowers.

“You like ‘em?” he asked, his voice low, almost shy, as he watched you with a boyish smile.

“I love them,” you whispered, your voice breaking as tears welled in your eyes. "I love you." You pouted, emotion getting the best of you. You were having a hard time shaking your tiredness because this entire thing felt like a dream. Longtime crush, brother's best friend just asked you to be his girlfriend, waking you up with peonies in your bedroom? In what world? Evidently, your world.

“Not done yet,” he teased, leaning over the side of the bed again. You tilted your head, blinking through your tears as you watched him grab two boxes—one large and one small. He placed them carefully in your lap, his smile softening as he looked at you.

“T…” you started, your voice trembling as you stared down at the boxes, overwhelmed. Trent’s phone buzzed with a message. The notification irrelevant, but the time illuminated, not so much. He caught the time and sighed. 

“I gotta run, pretty girl,” he said, his tone tinged with regret. “But you open these, yeah?” Your fingers brushed over the ribbons on the boxes as he leaned down to press a lingering kiss to your forehead. His lips stayed there for a moment, warm and reassuring, before he pulled back just enough to meet your gaze. “And you’ll call your boyfriend tonight, yeah?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief. A smile broke across your face as you nodded. 

“Yeah,” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you clutched the boxes close.

“Alright,” he murmured, leaning down to kiss you again, slower this time, as if he couldn’t bear to leave. “Good girl. Love you so much, baby.”

“Love you, T,” you whispered, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him in for one last kiss. “Can’t wait to watch my boyfriend tomorrow.” He chuckled, his laugh rumbling softly against your chest. 

“Let me know how he does.” he said cheekily, brushing his nose against yours before finally pulling away. As the door clicked shut behind him, you let out a shaky breath, the weight of the moment settling over you. You looked down at the boxes in your lap, your hands trembling as you untied the ribbon on the larger one. Inside was a gorgeous Chanel bag in the gorgeous turquoise tweed, the bag so perfect you wanted to scream but you were too tired, almost delirious at your unexpected morning.  You needed to call Layla now but you still had one more box to open. And then amid your eagerness to gush to your best friend, your breath hitched opening the smaller box, revealing a delicate pair of earrings, just like the necklace you wore only slightly different. Nestled there were two butterflies, one gold, the other turquoise. It was perfect. It was you. It was you and Trent, finally evolving. Tears streamed down your face as you clutched the box to your chest. You didn’t even realize you were smiling until your cheeks started to ache, your heart swelling with a love so overwhelming it left you breathless.

“What are you doing before the final game?” Jack, out of the blue, asked. Games had come and went and now it was the end of Trent’s season. You paused, caught off guard by the question. 

“Why? What’s going on?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him. Jack hesitated, his jaw tightening slightly as if he was debating whether to tell you.

“Dad’s coming,” he said carefully. You froze, feeling your heart drop into your stomach. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. You hadn’t seen your dad in about a year, and though you’d always had a good relationship with him, it had become more distant as time went on. He didn’t really know you as an adult—didn’t know about the life you’d built for yourself, and definitely nothing about Trent. And now, the thought of that relationship, so new so fresh coming to light, made your chest tighten.

“Dad’s… coming?” you repeated, almost as if you didn’t believe him.

“Yeah,” Jack replied, scratching the back of his neck. “He, uh, wanted to come to the match and catch up, I guess.” He muttered. You nodded slowly, but your mind was racing. 

“Okay, so… what’s the plan?” you asked hesitantly, not wanting to sound as anxious as you felt. Jack took a breath, his eyes flicking to yours. 

“We’re supposed to grab lunch at that pub he likes… then, you know, I guess head to the match with him.” Jack explained cautiously and hesitantly. He knew you didn’t want these plans but nevertheless, they were your plans.

“Oh,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. The weight of it all started to sink in. The pub he liked—the place you hadn’t been to in years. Your dad showing up, expecting to see the same version of you he’d always known. And Trent—how would he feel about all of this? How would your dad react, to realizing the relationship between you two? Jack watched you carefully, sensing your nerves. 

“You alright?” he asked, his voice softer now. You forced a smile, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. 

“Yeah. Just… a lot to process, I guess.” You told him not wanting to even start because you knew it was all fairly fresh for Jack. An adjustment for everyone, including yourself.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Jack reassured you. “Dad’s not that scary, you know.” You laughed weakly, shaking your head. 

“It’s not that. It’s just… he doesn’t really know me anymore, Jack. I don’t even know if he’s going to like me.” You explained poorly. Jack frowned, stepping closer. 

“Hey, what are you on about. Of course, he’s going to like you. He loves you. You’re his daughter. He knows you.” He smiled sympathetically.

“Yeah, but Trent’s my—” You paused. You didn’t know if Jack knew, if Trent had told him. You didn’t want to hurt him anyone. 

“Yeah, your boyfriend. My best friend, I know,” Jack interrupted firmly. “T’s a good guy, and Dad’s not stupid. He knows that.” You swallowed hard, nodding as you tried to convince yourself Jack was right. But deep down, you couldn’t shake the knot of anxiety forming in your stomach. This wasn’t just about your dad knowing Trent was your boyfriend—it was about him seeing the person you’d become and hoping he’d still be proud of you.

Seeing your dad was harder than you’d anticipated. There was a heaviness in the air, a kind of tension that came from too much time apart and too many things left unsaid. You sat awkwardly on the edge of your chair, your hands clasped in your lap as Jack and your dad caught up. Their voices filled the room, casual and animated as they sipped on beers, talking about work, sports, and everything else except the topics that mattered. You knew it was only a matter of time before Trent came up—his name felt like it was hovering in the air, unspoken but impossible to ignore. The clock was ticking; you’d have to get to the stadium soon, and once you left, there’d be no escaping the inevitable conversation. Jack leaned back in his seat, laughing at something your dad said. They were so at ease with each other, the kind of natural connection that came from years of shared history. You sat silently, feeling like a child again, a bystander in their world. You hadn’t expected to feel this small, this invisible, but here you were, the same as always.

It hit you, sitting there, how little had changed. Even now, as an adult, you were still on the outside looking in, waiting for a chance to be part of their conversation. But when you finally did speak, your words felt hollow, like they didn’t quite fit in their world. Maybe this was why you sought attention elsewhere, why you craved the kind of validation that left you breathless and seen. It wasn’t just about romance or excitement—it was about feeling like you mattered, like you were more than just someone to be looked over or around. Your dad didn’t mean it, you told yourself. He didn’t notice the way his conversations with Jack seemed to box you out, like you were still twelve and incapable of understanding the weight of their conversations. But that didn’t make it sting any less. They avoided mentioning your mum, which wasn’t a surprise. Her absence was like a shadow in the room, unspoken but lingering in every quiet moment. You glanced at your dad, wondering if he even noticed how uncomfortable you were, how small you felt sitting there. The stadium was calling, and part of you was glad. At least there, you’d see Trent, someone who made you feel like you belonged, like your voice mattered. But that didn’t erase the ache of sitting in at the pub, waiting for the conversation to shift, for someone to notice you were there.

“Jack we need to get going… “ You said. The atmosphere in the room was thick with an uneasy silence, a weight that neither of you could shake off. “I told Di I’d meet her outside  before so…” you awkwardly interjected. 

“How is Di? Can’t wait to see her and Mike at the match.” Your dad sat at the table, his hand still wrapped around his half-finished beer, the glass catching the dim light as it rested on the surface. He was relaxed, too relaxed, as though everything was fine. His words, casual and unbothered, contrasted sharply with the tension in your chest. His assumption that things were as they always had been — that you could talk about Dianne and Mike like nothing had changed — stung in ways you couldn’t put into words. Your father’s gaze drifted from you to Jack, lingering for a moment before it returned to you with that familiar, unspoken question. Why wasn’t Jack the one making decisions? His eyes didn’t need to ask it, but the look was unmistakable. You could feel the knot tighten in your stomach. You didn’t want to answer him, didn’t want to acknowledge that the dynamics between you all had shifted. That he had shifted.

“Just Di is going,” you muttered, your voice sharp as you tried to hold it together. The words fell like ice into the room. Jack noticed the change in your tone immediately. He could see it, the way you were pulling away, the way your nerves frayed at the edges. You stood up abruptly, the motion too fast, too sharp, betraying the calm exterior you tried to maintain. The chair scraped against the floor, the sound jarring in the silence that followed. “I told her I’d meet her…” you trailed off, your words faltering for just a second, but the pressure to leave was too strong. "I have to go, you can meet me there if you want to stay here longer, but I promised." You snapped. Your dad’s gaze flicked from you to Jack, waiting for a response, expecting one. But there was no response. Jack could sense the brewing storm, the way your jaw tightened and your eyes clouded. The air between you all was electric, like the calm before a storm, but Jack was the first to break the silence, his voice low and calm, a stark contrast to the storm inside you.

“Y/N, Y/N, jesus, hold on,” he said, his hand reaching out to gently grab your arm, but you flinched as if the touch burned. Jack immediately regretted it. It all came crashing back to hm. His fingers loosened, and he let his hand fall to his side, his voice softening as he realized what he had done. He could see it now — what Trent had told him, what you’d been through. Everything, the secrets, the pain. The moment hung there, suspended between the three of you. Jack straightened up, his gaze not meeting your dad’s but aimed directly at you. “I’m with ya,” he said gently, his words grounded, offering you the support that was starting to feel like a lifeline. He nodded, as if trying to anchor you in this moment. “It’s fine. Let’s go, yeah?” Your dad’s eyes flicked back to Jack, but Jack didn’t move. He was standing firm, waiting for you. There was a subtle shift in the air, as though Jack had pulled the rug out from under your father’s expectations, leaving the tension behind you like dust settling after a storm. “You never want to keep Dianne waiting,” Jack said, his voice a little more light-hearted, as if trying to smooth over the heaviness. But his words couldn’t erase what had passed between you all in that moment. And you didn’t want them to. You were already halfway out the door, trying to escape the weight of it all, but you couldn’t quite shake the feeling that things would never be the same.

The atmosphere in the stands felt charged, the sound of the game filling the air, but it was easy for you to tune it out as you focused solely on the field, your mind a whirl of thoughts. Jack had fallen into easy conversation with Noah and Trent’s brothers, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of being apart from everything. Maybe it was the weight of your father’s distant gaze, or the unspoken tension between you and him, but there was a disconnect you couldn’t ignore.

Dianne’s voice cut through the murmur of the crowd, and your dad turned as she approached, her expression warm and teasing. But as her gaze landed on you, wearing Trent’s jacket—something you had nicked without thinking—he saw the softness in her eyes, the way she always looked at you as if you were her own daughter.  You instinctively tried to listen in, and for a moment, you almost wished she didn’t see the truth so clearly.

“Finally, hmm?” Dianne cooed with a smile, nodding to you in Trent’s clothes, the way you were leaning forward, lost in the game. Her voice was light, but you could tell there was an undercurrent of something more, a knowingness that settled between you. Your father’s voice came almost too quickly, a hint of forced joviality in his words.

“Ah, she’ll always hold a torch for him. I’m sure he has more lasses than he can handle though. Him and Jacky boy.” He chuckled, clearly trying to mask something—maybe his own discomfort or the way the whole situation made him uneasy. But you heard the words, and they stung a little more than they should have. You looked down, feeling that familiar ache in your chest. He’s fine because Jack is fine. Jack’s fine because Trent is fine. And everything will be fine because they all just fit together in this neat little package. But you? You were the complication, the one who didn’t fit. And yet, your father was never looking too closely at the things that didn’t add up, wasn’t he?

“Well… we’ve known he’s only wanted one, and Trenty’s got her now,” Dianne added softly, a playful tone in her voice but something deeper behind it. There was no judgment, only an understanding, and a subtle acknowledgment of everything that had been left unsaid. But the words landed like a heavy weight in your chest. Your father, though he was trying to make light of things, didn’t see it—didn’t see you. He couldn’t see past the loss of your mother, the way you reminded him so much of her, both in looks and in the way you held onto things, quietly, intensely. It had always been easier for him to connect with Jack, the son who didn’t wear his mother’s ghost in every glance, in every gesture. Jack, who had managed to fill the space she’d left in a way that you hadn’t. But your father couldn’t escape the grief that came with you. And it hurt. You felt it in the way his words came too quickly, like he was trying to convince himself, to ease his own pain without even realizing he was pushing you away. You wanted to reach for something, anything, to make it easier, but instead, you just sat there, a quiet reminder of everything lost. Dianne’s gaze softened, and she didn’t need to say anything more. She saw it. She always did. She didn’t need to push. All she did was offer a quiet reassurance, a recognition that the divide was there. You were both standing in it, but only one of you seemed to have the strength to acknowledge it.

Your dad watched, almost frozen, as Dianne moved behind you, her hand finding your arm with that familiar warmth, a comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time. It stung a little to watch—how easily she could reach out to you, how easily she could offer you something he didn’t know how to give anymore. You turned towards her, smiling up at her with an expression that was softer, more open, than the one you had given him in ages. Dianne cupped your cheek gently, the kind of tender touch that felt like home, like someone who understood you without words. She tilted your head just slightly, guiding your face back toward your dad, as if to make sure he saw you—really saw you.

“So, so, so gorgeous, huh?” Her voice was light, teasing even, but with a layer of affection that felt bittersweet. She wanted him to see you the way she saw you, but it was all so much more complicated than that. Your dad’s eyes followed you, but there was an unreadable expression on his face. He was lost in it, in everything unsaid between you, between the past, the present, and the future.

“She’s beautiful, always has been,” your dad muttered, his voice tight. The words were there, but they didn’t reach you in the way they used to. The sadness in his smile only made the gap between you feel wider, more unbridgeable. He had always been so proud of you, but now there was something missing, something he couldn’t find his way back to. Dianne, as if sensing the weight in the air, pressed a kiss to your hair, her lips warm against your skin, and pulled back just enough to let you turn back toward the game. 

“And finally Trenty’s got his head on straight, hmm?” she asked with a knowing smile, the kind of smile that said she wasn’t oblivious to the tension you had been carrying. She wasn’t stupid. She knew. You felt a flutter of discomfort at her words, a sharp reminder of how much you had been hiding. A part of you felt like you’d never tell your dad about Trent. And then you realized that wasn't really an option. But you didn’t think you could ever tell him about Trent, not like that. You weren’t sure if he could handle it, and you weren’t ready to deal with his disappointment or confusion. So, you let her words slide by, nodding as you turned back to the game, trying to lose yourself in the sound of the crowd, in the rhythm of the match. Your dad remained still, his mind racing, trying to piece together what Dianne was getting at. The look on his face betrayed a quiet frustration, as if he had just missed something important, something he wasn’t privy to. He felt like he was in the dark, and it hurt more than he’d like to admit. What was Dianne talking about? What was happening between you and Trent? The questions hung there, unanswered. He looked at you one more time, but you were lost in the game, your eyes focused, your body language closed off. And in that moment, your dad knew that things were changing, and he couldn’t stop it. The weight of the unknown pressed down on him, and he wasn’t sure how to navigate this new space between you, between all of you. Dianne, sensing the shift, took a seat next to Tyler, her presence no longer a bridge but a reminder of the complexities of what had been left unsaid. The game continued, the noise of the crowd growing louder, but for you, the world felt smaller, and the distance between you and your dad felt wider than ever.

You stepped inside, the cool air of the box a stark contrast to the heat of the stadium outside. Your gaze immediately landed on your dad, standing alone, watching the game through the glass with his usual intense focus. But there was something different about the way he stood, a slight distance between him and the rest of the crowd, like he wasn’t really part of it all.

“Keeping warm?” you asked, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. It was a weak attempt, but it was all you could manage. He hummed, squinting at the field, trying to follow the play. His focus was still on the game, but you could tell he wasn’t fully present. It was as if part of him was always somewhere else. “You know… you can see a lot better out there,” you suggested, motioning toward the seats where the rest of the group was. The words were casual, but there was a plea in them that you couldn’t hide. A hope that he might want to come closer, to bridge the gap that had grown between you both. He glanced at you, his excuse falling flat. 

“Yeah, don’t want to crowd the space and all.” It wasn’t a good reason, but you knew it wasn’t really about the space. It was about something else, something neither of you were talking about. A sigh escaped you as you stood there, unsure of how to push forward. It felt like you were both stuck, circling each other but not quite connecting.

“Do… do you want to come sit with me?” The words came out hesitantly, like you were testing the waters, unsure if he would say yes or if you would even know how to handle it if he did. For a moment, there was silence between you, and then your dad finally turned, his eyes meeting yours. It was like a weight lifted in that brief second, his gaze softening, as if he had been waiting for you to ask. He reached up, his hand gently cupping your face, and for the first time in what felt like ages, you saw a genuine smile spread across his face.

“I’ll come sit with you, sweetheart,” he said, his voice warm, sincere in a way that it hadn’t been for so long. The affection in his tone caught you off guard, and you felt a lump form in your throat. You tried to smile, to match his warmth, but it was hard to push back the tears that threatened to spill. “Gorgeous you are, huh?” he added, his smile growing. There was a hint of that old fondness in his voice, something familiar, something you hadn’t heard in a long time. You grinned, a shaky laugh escaping you as you fought to keep the tears at bay. In that moment, everything felt a little bit easier, a little bit lighter, even if just for a second. It was a small step, but it was a step forward. The game’s final minutes ticked down, but they felt like hours as you sat there with your dad, the tension between you both growing thicker with every passing second. The crowd’s roar seemed distant now, just background noise to the awkward silence you were both trapped in. To your surprise, your dad, who had always been so engrossed in the game, turned to you, his expression more serious than you were used to.

“Sweetheart, Dianne said something earlier… Does she know something Jack and I don’t?” he asked, his voice low but carrying a weight that made your stomach churn. The question felt wrong in so many ways—almost like an accusation. The assumption that he and Jack were always on the same page, always in sync, and you were the one left to navigate things alone. You couldn’t stop the frustration rising within you. You fought back the urge to snap, to let him feel your annoyance, and instead gave him a steady answer. 

“Jack knows…” You didn’t want to get into it, but it felt like he was trying to pry, trying to put you on the defensive as if there was something to hide. And for a brief moment, it felt like he was accusing you of betraying Jack, not simply sharing your own truth.

“And… should I know?” His voice was soft, but there was an underlying expectation in it, as though you owed him an explanation. It hit you harder than you expected, making your patience slip. You turned your gaze back to the game, unwilling to meet his eyes, unable to mask the irritation building inside. 

“I don’t know. Should you?” Your tone was sharp, your words colder than you intended, but you couldn’t hold it in anymore. The unfairness of it all—the way Jack and your dad always seemed to understand each other, always seemed to be in sync, leaving you as the outsider. It stung.

“Y/N…” Your dad’s voice softened, but the use of your full name was a reminder of a time when you hadn’t been this distant, when his voice was filled with care and not frustration. That small shift in his tone made something inside you crack, but it only made your anger burn brighter.

“What? Do you care enough to want to know?” You shot back before you could stop yourself, the words tumbling out sharper than you meant. You could feel your dad bristle, his frustration mounting, but so was yours. This wasn’t just a conversation—it was an accusation, a judgment.

“Hey.” His tone snapped, and the energy in the air shifted. You could feel Jack’s gaze on you from across the box, but you couldn’t stop now. This had been building for too long. Jack stood up and walked over, his presence like a wall between you and your dad, as if once again it was two against one. That old dynamic—the one that always left you feeling like you were fighting to be seen, fighting to be heard, while Jack and your dad stood side by side, united.

“Okay, yeah. Trent’s my boyfriend. Happy?” The words shot out like daggers, sharp and bitter. “There’s my life update. You can go back to wherever you are in Spain at the minute and act like you know anything that goes on here.” Your voice wavered for a split second, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You couldn’t keep pretending like everything was fine when it felt like you were invisible to them. Without waiting for a response, you stood up and stormed past Jack, your heart racing with anger and hurt. He called your name, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t. There was no going back now, not with this tension hanging between you all. You had to break free, even if it meant isolating yourself again. Once again, it was you against them, and you were done trying to fit into the space they had carved out for themselves. Jack’s eyes softened as he looked at his father, knowing the weight of the situation, knowing the rift between you and their understanding of what you were going through. He had seen it for years, the unspoken divide between you and your dad, the way he treated you so differently than him. But now, it was worse. Now, your dad had crossed a line, and Jack felt the tension, the hurt that you’d carried for so long.

“Dad…” Jack sighed, his voice heavy with frustration and compassion. He could feel the hurt building inside him, too, knowing that his father was looking at the situation with an incomplete understanding. Jack wasn’t blind to the way his dad had always looked at you, how he seemed to hold back from truly seeing you, as if seeing you fully would mean confronting the loss of your mother all over again. But that wasn’t your fault. And this wasn’t easy for you.

“She… she’s dating Trent, and I have my own way to deal with it, but…” Jack’s voice trailed off, the words hard to form. He knew the history, knew the tension between you and your dad, and how impossible it was for your father to see things from your perspective. “You can’t just show up and ask for this huge piece of information about her…” He took a deep breath, the weight of what he was saying settling heavily in the space between them. “So much has gone on, I can’t even begin to describe it.” Jack’s eyes searched his father’s, trying to get through to him, but the words felt like they weren’t enough, like they could never be enough. “She’s had a really hard time, dad. This isn’t some spur-of-the-moment, rash decision… It’s been a lot, and it’s been really heavy for her, so please… Please talk to her.” His voice cracked slightly, a mix of frustration and helplessness. Jack didn’t know how to make his father see the pain you’d been hiding, the burden you’d been carrying in silence. He wasn’t sure if he could even explain it himself, but he tried anyway, hoping something would break through. Your dad looked at him, his face filled with a shock that Jack hadn’t expected. Maybe it was the mention of your struggles, maybe it was the revelation of just how much you had been dealing with, but something in him seemed to shift, even if just slightly. He didn’t know what surprised him more—your relationship with Trent or the fact that you had been struggling this much. But instead of addressing it, instead of asking questions or trying to understand, he simply turned away.

“I’ll give her a minute,” your dad muttered, his voice distant. He didn’t even look back at Jack as he focused once again on the game, his back turned to his son. Jack’s heart sank. He had hoped for more, had wanted his father to reach out, to show that he cared. But it was like he was retreating again, locking himself in the same place he had always been—unable to break free of the grief, of the distance between him and his children. Jack stood there, watching his father’s back, feeling a wave of helplessness and sorrow wash over him. The conversation had gone nowhere, and the gap between them was only wider now. He had hoped his father would understand, that this moment would spark something in him to reach out to you, but it didn’t happen. All Jack could do now was wait, just like you.

As the game ended and the crowd filtered out, you couldn’t shake the heaviness that lingered in the air. Your eyes were red and puffy from the tears you’d tried to hide, and your lips were pressed into a thin pout, an attempt to mask the hurt and frustration you felt. You didn’t even have to look up to know when Trent walked into the box. His presence was like a breath of fresh air, a sense of comfort in the storm you were fighting.

“Come here, pretty girl,” Trent’s voice was soft, concerned. His hands gently pulled you into him, and the warmth of his embrace felt like a balm to your soul. “What’s that face for, beautiful, hmm?” His words were a sweet coo, the kind that only he could make sound so tender. He kissed your forehead, repeatedly, his lips brushing your skin like a quiet reassurance. He tilted your chin up to meet his eyes, his gaze full of care. “Look at me… What’s going on, baby?” He asked earnestly.  But just as you opened your mouth to respond, your dad’s voice cut through the moment, loud and blunt.

“Trenty.” Trent froze, his eyes widening for a moment as he turned to face your dad. The tension in the air shifted immediately. At the moment, his hands had been dangerously close to your ass, a comforting gesture that felt natural, but now it was like they were caught in the act. Trent cleared his throat, his smile faltering, and he quickly retracted his hand from a more intimate position.

“Ah, alright, sir?” Trent stumbled over his words, extending a hand for a handshake. It was awkward, but you could see him trying to play it off as casual, even though the situation was anything but.

“Course, had to at least catch one game this season,” your dad replied, his tone unnervingly normal, like nothing had shifted, like he hadn’t just witnessed a small piece of your private world that he wasn’t meant to see. His words, however, didn’t seem to match the discomfort in the room. It was like he was pretending to be fine, pretending that everything was the same as it had been before. Trent, though, immediately pieced it all together. The tears in your eyes, the tension in the air, the way your dad had come over so bluntly—it all clicked for him. His arm instinctively wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him protectively. You didn’t fight it. Instead, you leaned into him, your arms winding around his bicep, letting the comfort of his embrace ground you. Trent looked down at you, his expression softening.

 “Okay?”He asked.  He could feel the weight of everything you were carrying, and he just wanted to make sure you were alright. You nodded, leaning your face into his shoulder, finding solace in the warmth of him. 

“Yeah,” you murmured, the simple act of being close to him helping to ease the pressure in your chest. Trent, still standing with you wrapped around his arm, continued talking to your dad, but now his attention was solely on you. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he felt the familiar presence of your perfume wrap around him after the long match. There was something deeply intimate about the way you held onto him, and he relished it. “Stayed warm, huh?” Trent asked, pinching your side lightly, a playful spark in his eyes as he adjusted the jacket you’d borrowed from him. Your dad, however, was no longer paying attention to the conversation. His eyes had locked onto you, watching the way you interacted with Trent. It was clear he was taking it all in—more than just the casual handshake, more than the friendly chat. The dynamic between you and Trent had shifted in the air, and your dad, whether he acknowledged it or not, could sense the change. Trent, on the other hand, was completely absorbed in you. The conversation with your dad was just noise in the background. He wasn’t concerned with anything other than making sure you felt safe, loved, and cared for in this moment.  

“So, Y/N finally wore you down,” your dad said, and it sounded like a statement wrapped in a half-joking, half-disapproving tone. Maybe it was the way he said it, but it didn’t sit well with you. You could feel the sting of it, the assumption that you’d been some sort of challenge for Trent. But then again, maybe he didn’t mean it that way. You weren’t sure anymore. Your dad’s words hung in the air, but there was something about the way he said them that felt off—like he was trying, but still not really understanding. You stiffened slightly, catching the slight edge in his tone, but you couldn’t be sure if it was truly patronizing or just his attempt to mask his discomfort. Trent, however, didn’t hesitate. He always seemed to have this way of handling awkward moments with confidence, and right now, he used it like a shield. 

“Nah, I finally got my dream girl,” Trent said with a grin, flashing that million-dollar smile your dad had always found disarming. “Everyone’s on board with it now, even Jack the lad, so… What you saying?” Trent prompted. You couldn’t help but feel a flicker of warmth for him in that moment. He’d just taken the lead, not hesitating, not letting your dad’s old-world ways hold him back. It was like he was saying, This is happening. You have to deal with it, and you have to accept it. It was exactly what you needed to hear. You looked at Trent, grateful. He was doing all the hard work that you couldn’t bring yourself to do, and doing it with such ease, making your dad see that this wasn’t some fleeting phase or secret rebellion. This was real. And with his words, it felt like Trent was subtly reminding your dad that he couldn’t just sit on the sidelines of your life. Your dad, for all his avoidance and silence up until now, finally softened. 

“Just want her happy,” he said, his voice sincere, and for a moment, you could see that he meant it. The weight of the words, even though they were simple, felt like he was finally trying to step into your world, into a space where he hadn’t been before. He reached out then, almost tenderly, lifting your chin with his finger, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “Just want you happy, sweetheart.” There was an effort there, something raw and unspoken behind his eyes. It wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t the resolution you’d hoped for, but it was something. For the first time in a long while, it felt like your dad was trying—really trying—to meet you halfway. And for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something different between you both.

“Aye bro, we going out tonight?” Jack’s voice carried over as he approached Trent with Noah trailing close behind, his energy already at full throttle.

“Yeah, mate, I’m down,” Trent replied with an easy smile, turning his head slightly toward you. “Gotta stop home first, but yeah, down.” Jack clapped his hands together, clearly excited. 

“Let’s goooo. Trenty’s actually coming out with us. Been missing for a while. Wonder where he’s been,” Noah teased, his tone full of mischief. His eyes darted over to you, the wink he shot you making your cheeks heat up. Trent shook his head, a small chuckle escaping him. 

“Don’t mate,” he muttered, though his tone was amused. Then he leaned down toward you, his voice dropping to a soft whisper in your ear. 

“You wanna come back with me first, pretty girl?” The warmth of his voice made you giggle as you nodded, already feeling your heart flutter. You barely had a moment to revel in the intimacy before Jack groaned dramatically.

“Ew… fuck right off,” Jack grumbled, pulling a face as if he’d just walked into something awful. The embarrassment hit you like a wave, and you hid your face in Trent’s neck, trying to disappear. But he wasn’t about to let you hide for long. His arm wrapped securely around your waist, and you could feel his skin shift as he smiled. He leaned down again, his lips close to your temple. 

“Want to get going? Hmm?” he cooed, his voice sweet and reassuring. You pulled back, giving him a small nod as you went to grab your bag. Trent watched you with that soft, fond look he always seemed to have when it came to you, and even with Jack and Noah’s teasing, you couldn’t help but feel completely safe with him.

As you grabbed your purse, you felt your dad step closer, his presence lingering behind you like he was unsure if he should speak. You turned slightly, catching the hesitation in his face. His hands were tucked awkwardly in his jacket pockets, and the tight line of his lips showed he was working up to something.

“Sweetheart… you’ve gotta talk to me,” he finally said, his voice soft but insistent, the same tone he’d used when you were little and in trouble. You stilled for a moment, gripping your purse tighter. Then, you turned to face him, already on the defensive. 

“I don’t… I’ll talk to you next time you call Jack,” you snapped, your words sharper than intended, but you didn’t take them back. Your dad’s shoulders tensed as if the bite in your voice stung.

 “Y/N…” he began, his tone gentler now, trying to tread carefully. “I’m happy you’re with him. But…” That one word—but—sliced through the air like a warning. Your heart clenched painfully, and the tightness in your chest spread. 

“But what?” you demanded, your voice rising slightly. The tears you’d held back all evening were dangerously close now, teetering on the edge of your composure. He took a deep breath, gesturing vaguely around the room and toward the buzzing energy outside. 

“Have you thought about this… what it’s like to be with someone with this life?” His hand swept toward the box windows, where the stadium lights and crowds shone brightly, as if Trent’s world was a foreign, insurmountable thing. You blinked at him, dumbfounded and suddenly furious.

“So Jack can be friends with someone with this life, but I can’t date someone with it?” you shot back, your voice tight with frustration. “What is it, Dad? Do you think I’m not strong enough? Or is it just easier for you to trust Jack with all this than it is for me?”

“Sweetheart,” he sighed, his tone dipping into something softer, almost pleading. “I just… I can’t see you hurt or upset. Please.” You took a step back, shaking your head in disbelief. His words felt hollow, like they carried a concern that wasn’t rooted in knowing you, but rather in trying to protect an outdated idea of you. A part of him never could trust Trent. It didn’t matter who he was, it didn’t change the fact that you were the only girl he had left, and Trent’s life was far too risky for his girl. 

“Dad, you’re upsetting me right now,” you whispered, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to keep it steady. He closed his eyes briefly, as if trying to compose himself. 

“Alright,” he murmured after a moment, his voice heavy with resignation. Slowly, he stepped forward and pulled you into a hug. His arms felt heavy around you, like he was holding onto more than just you in that moment—grief, regret, guilt. “I’m sorry, hun. Just… can ya give me a ring sometime? Let me know how you’re doing?” You let out a shaky breath, your defenses crumbling as his embrace tightened. 

“Okay,” you murmured weakly, unable to push him away when he was like this. You didn’t hate him or anything. It was just a strained relationship. One that was badly bruised but not broken. He pulled back, his hands moving to gently hold your face. His eyes, tired and watery, scanned yours with an unfamiliar tenderness. 

“Always here for you, alright?” he said, his voice softer now, more vulnerable. “Di’s right… beautiful…” His words caught you off guard, and before you could react, he leaned down and kissed your hair. There was something in his actions that felt like a glimpse of the dad you used to know—the one who saw you, really saw you, before the loss of your mum built an unspoken wall between you. But then he continued, and the weight of his words hit you like a wave. “Just like mummy was. Beautiful. So don’t lose that smile. I only have yours, sweetheart.” The compliment hung in the air, bittersweet and sharp. For a moment, the world seemed to pause as you absorbed what he’d just said. He was telling you you were beautiful, comparing you to your mum, but there was something beneath the words that made your chest ache. It wasn’t just a compliment—it was a plea. A reminder that your smile, your light, was all that was left for him now. You nodded silently, swallowing back the lump in your throat as tears blurred your vision. His hands lingered on your face for a moment longer before he stepped back, giving you space. But his words stayed, weighing heavy on your heart. He meant well, you knew that. But his love, wrapped in grief and unspoken expectations, felt like a burden you weren’t sure how to carry anymore.

The game had been intense, the energy of the stadium still ringing in your ears as you walked through the door. The weight of everything-the adrenaline from the game, the quiet tension in the air after the final whistle, and the lingering thoughts about the night-settled into your bones. You pushed the door closed behind you with a soft click, taking in the familiar scent of Trent's place, which should have felt comforting, but tonight it was a little too quiet. A little too still.  You couldn't hide the exhaustion in your eyes, the way your mind was still racing with everything that had happened that evening. You didn't want to talk, didn't want to think about the crowd, the noise, the emotions. You just needed to forget, to be lost in something else for a while.  He noticed immediately. 

"Sweet girl, you okay?" His voice was gentle, soft with concern, but there was also a warmth in it. He could see past the cloudiness in your eyes, he could see you were carrying something heavier than just the weight of the game. You tried to smile, though it was weak, and shook your head slightly. 

"Yeah, baby... I'm okay." You appreciated his presence, his effort to make you feel better. It meant more than you could express.He stepped closer, his hands sliding around you, pulling you into his embrace. He kissed the back of your neck, his breath warm against your skin.

"Hmm my baby..." He hummed with his lips staying pressed to your skin. "Thank you for coming," he whispered, his lips brushing against your skin again, sending a shiver down your spine. His arms tightened around you, the security of his touch grounding you. "You looked so good tonight," he murmured, his words affectionate and full of admiration. You leaned back into him, feeling the heat of his body against yours. His lips found your ear, nipping gently at it, and you closed your eyes, giving yourself to the sensation. "Need to shower before we go out, you know," he cooed, his voice low and teasing.

"Mmmm... do you need company?" you smirked, your playful side slipping through the cracks of your exhaustion.

"Absolutely," he whispered, his hands moving to peel your jumper over your head, the cool air in the house sending another shiver through you. Without a word, Trent picked you up, effortlessly carrying you upstairs to the bathroom. You giggled at the suddenness, his strength a comforting presence. As he set you down in the ensuite, you eagerly stripped off the rest of your clothes, your movements frantic as you tried to rid yourself of the tension from the night. Trent followed suit, shedding his own clothes, his back pressed against the cold bathroom wall. "C'mere," he whispered, his voice deep, almost commanding. He moved towards you, his hands sliding down the back of your thighs, coming under your ass as he picked you up effortlessly. You wrapped your legs around him, kissing him messily, desperately. It was a kiss that spoke of more than just desire-it was about forgetting, about feeling alive in the midst of everything that had happened. He pulled away, loosening his grip slightly, his fingers fumbling as he turned on the shower. The sound of the water rushing from the showerhead filled the space, the hot water soon warming the air around you, enveloping you in steam. Trent stepped in first, pulling you closer to him. It wasn't long before you were pressed against the wall, your back to the cold tile as Trent moved inside you with a rough intensity. His lips were on yours between every thrust, soft words of affection-’I love you,’ whispered breathlessly as the water cascaded over your bodies, mingling with the heat of the moment. You were shaking, your body overwhelmed by the intensity, but Trent held you tightly, grounding you. As the minutes passed, your breaths grew shorter, the euphoric high mixing with the crash of emotions, the pressure of everything finally coming to a head. When it was over, Trent gently set you on your feet, his hands still supporting you as you clung to him, the warm water cascading down around you, and for a moment, everything outside of this moment seemed distant. It was just the two of you, wrapped in the heat of the shower, bodies pressed together, hearts still racing from what had just happened. Trent's arms around you felt like the only thing keeping you tethered to reality. He ran his fingers through your damp hair, his touch gentle now, almost reverent as if he was trying to savor the moment. "I love you," he murmured again, his voice soft but steady, as if he needed to remind both of you that, despite everything that had happened, this was real. You looked up at him, your chest still heaving from the intensity of it all, your lips tingling from his kisses. 

"I love you too," you whispered, your voice breaking slightly. Your emotions were all tangled, a mix of desire, love, and the lingering pain from the night. But in this moment, in his arms, it all seemed to fade away. Trent cupped your face, his thumb brushing over your cheek. 

"Don't let tonight get to you," he said quietly, his forehead resting against yours. "Let me take care of you." You nodded, closing your eyes and leaning into him, the warmth of the water and his embrace comforting you in a way nothing else could. It wasn't just the physical pleasure that had brought you together, but the connection, the way he made you feel safe, despite the storm of emotions swirling in your mind. He kissed you again, slower this time, more tender, letting the water continue to wash over you both as the world outside seemed to vanish. There were no distractions here, no chaos, just the two of you. For the first time that night, you allowed yourself to let go fully, to forget about everything that had happened-just for a little while. As the water began to cool, Trent gently helped you step out of the shower, wrapping you in a towel and pulling you close.  "We'll figure everything out," he promised softly. "Just... trust me, yeah?" You didn't answer right away, but his presence was enough. You didn't have all the answers yet, and there was still so much uncertainty, but in this quiet moment, in his arms, you felt like maybe, just maybe, things could still be okay. In the aftermath, the world outside seemed a distant memory, the quiet between you two an unspoken promise that for a little while, at least until you headed out for the night, you could forget everything else.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter or of what's to come!

Next part - Chapter 20 xx

[winchesterwild78]

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas

Master List

Characters:  Jensen x Reader

Warnings: mention of divorce, angst, self esteem issues, fluff

A/N: Day 12 of my holiday fics. I hope you enjoy this short series. I’m really excited about it. All work is my own, please don’t take it. Reblogs and likes are welcomed. 

This is a work of FICTION. Jensen is divorced from Danneel. If you don’t like that, then don’t read it. Sorry, but shit happens in life, and this was a story that popped in my head to round out this Christmas Series. 

Written fast and edited fast, please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

Jensen was gone filming in Toronto. His parents were flying in tomorrow and his siblings and their families a day after that. Jensen and I were hosting Christmas this year at our house in Connecticut. We decided to stay so we could be closer to the kids for the holiday. 

Since Jensen and Danneel got divorced the holidays were always a bit tricky to navigate. Things got a little more tense when Jensen and I got married, but I try to keep things cordial with Danneel for the sake of the kids. 

I was sitting on the couch working on my laptop when my phone rang. I saw it was Jensen and smiled. 

“Hey baby. How’s filming?” “Hey sweetheart, it’s going well. I hope we wrap for the holiday soon. I don’t want to miss the kids’ performances and I can’t wait to be back home with you.”

“Me either baby. Are you guys behind?” “A little. It’s frustrating, but that’s usually how it goes when I want to wrap early or on time. I’ll keep you posted. Mom and Dad will be there in time to go with you though.” 

“Yeah, I’m looking forward to it. I know the kids are excited about seeing them.” 

“Well darlin’, I’m needed back on set. I love you and I’ll see you soon.” “I love you too, Jens.” 

We hung up and I sat in the silence of the house. It was about a week until Christmas and the house was decorated with beautiful colors, twinkle lights, and gifts under the tree.

I missed Jensen, but I was so incredibly proud of his work. I just hoped he’d be home in time for the kids’ concert and play, and of course Christmas. 

The next morning I got up early to get Jensen’s parents from the airport. His father was always very quiet and reserved around me, but his mother was always so sweet and welcoming. The first time I met her she hugged me and told me she knew Jensen was in love with me.

A few hours later we were walking through the door and I showed Alan and Donna the guest room they would be staying in. “I hope this is to your liking. There are extra towels in the bathroom, and extra toiletries under the sink. If you need anything, let me know.” 

Donna stepped towards me, “It’s perfect sweetie, thank you. Just take a deep breath. Everything is going to be fine.” I nodded and offered her a soft smile. 

I sent Jensen a text.

Me: Your parents are here safe and sound. Your mom said Josh and his family and Mackenzie and her family are still coming tomorrow. I love you.

I started cooking dinner a few hours later. Alan was watching the Dallas game and Donna was in the kitchen helping me. I still hadn’t heard back from Jensen and I was a little sad. 

Donna must have sensed it because she placed her hand on my arm, “Y/N, these shoots right before a holiday break can stretch on for hours. I’m sure he’s just been tied up on set.”

I nodded. She was right, but it didn’t stop the pang in my chest. I love Jensen’s family and his kids, but the thought of doing all of this and facing Danneel without him just makes me sad and a little anxious. 

I was busy cooking and didn’t hear my phone. “Y/N, I think your phone went off.” Donna smiled.

I looked at the screen and saw a notification from Jensen and smiled. Donna saw and smiled too. “See I told you, sweetie.” I nodded and opened my phone. 

Jensen: Hey baby. Sorry it’s been a long day. Thanks for holding down the fort. Don’t let Josh tell you I was the trouble maker growing up, because he was. 😂 I miss you so much. We are close to wrapping. I hope I can make it back in time for the kids’ shows. I’ll call you later. I love you.

I smiled and set my phone down. “Mom, before Josh gets here I need to know, which one was the trouble maker, Josh or Jensen?” She laughed, “Jensen told you Josh was, didn’t he?” I nodded. 

“Well sweetie, both of them kept me on my toes. Especially after Mac was born. They became very protective of her and were trying to be her favorite brother.” “That’s sweet. So, which one became her favorite?” “She never really said, but I know she’s always had a soft spot for Jensen. He was seven when she was born and he doted on her. He was finally a big brother and stepped into that role so easily.”

“I can really see him doing that. He’s always been so amazing no matter what his role is, but especially when it comes to family. He’s an amazing father and husband. I know how incredibly lucky I am to have him in my life. Like Jensen, my previous marriage didn’t work out, so both of us came into this relationship with walls. Jensen has an undeniable charm that can break down any wall.” 

Alan asked for a beer from the living room and Donna smirked. She handed me the beer, “Here, from what Jensen says you’re pretty great at breaking down walls too. Go break that wall down. Deep down Alan does care about you, he’s just guarded.” I nodded and took the beer. 

I took a deep breath. I know Jensen’s relationship with his father is important, so it’s important to me to have a good relationship with him too. I walked into the living room and handed Alan the beer. He looked up at me, “Thanks.” I nodded. I looked at the television and saw the Cowboys were winning. Lucky for me I had always liked them and saw this as an in. 

I started out by testing the water with questions about the game, and before too long we were talking about the season and things seemed lighter. I excused myself to check on dinner and found Donna in the kitchen smiling. 

I touched her arm, “Thank you.” She smiled and nodded. 

The next two days were a blur. Josh, Mackenzie and their families came into town and tonight was the night of the kids’ performances. Jensen still wasn’t home, and it broke my heart. 

His kids are everything to him and to miss something like this was no doubt breaking his heart. I tried to call him, but it went right to voicemail.

We all got ready and headed to the school for the performances. As we walked up to the school I saw JJ, Arrow, and Zeppelin standing outside looking around with Danneel. Donna took my hand and gave me a little squeeze. “You’ve got this, and you’ve got all of us.” I nodded. 

I walked over to them and made eye contact with Danneel. “Mama Y/N! Grammy and Papa! You came!” JJ squealed first when she saw us. Arrow and Zeppelin followed her as hugs were exchanged. The kids looked around and I saw their faces fall a little. 

Before I could say anything Danneel stepped forward, “So I see his children aren’t a priority anymore and he sent you instead. You will never be what I was to him no matter how hard you try. I give your relationship 5 years tops before he finds someone better, someone worthy. You’re just his rebound honey.” 

I gasped and felt a pang in my chest. I had always felt a little out of place in his life. He was Jensen freaking Ackles, and I was just Y/N, a fan he met and we hit it off. 

Before I could say anything I heard a deep voice from behind me. It startled me. “Enough! Don’t speak to her like that, especially in front of these children. She means more to Jensen than you ever did or will. Believe me, she’s more than a rebound. Y/N is the love of his life, his wife and you will treat her with respect.” I couldn’t believe my ears or my eyes. The man coming to my defense was Alan. I looked at him and he offered me a soft smile. I mouthed, ‘thank you’, and he nodded. 

Danneel backed off and told the kids to come on. Before they walked away I knelt down, “Guys, daddy is trying really hard to get here. I promise you that’s all he’s talked about the past few days. If he’s not here I’m going to record it and show it to him. He’s so proud of the three of you, and he loves you three more than anything.” They hugged me tightly and JJ whispered, “Thank you.” I nodded and they went into the school with Danneel. 

We followed and took our seats. I looked at my phone one last time before silencing it. There was still no message or missed call from Jensen. My heart broke for the kids and for him. He hated missing anything they did. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Danneel sitting a few rows back with her boyfriend, glaring at me. I turned back and looked towards the stage.

The house lights turned off and everyone clapped. I grabbed my phone to record when a low voice was beside me, “Is this seat taken?” I turned and looked up seeing Jensen. 

“Jensen! You’re here. Oh my god!” I jumped up and threw my arms around him and kissed him. He chuckled, “Sweetheart we need to sit. They are about to start.” 

Jensen sat between me and his mother. He glanced over at his family and looked back at Danneel who was shocked to see him. The first to perform was JJ. She was singing with the chorus and had a solo. After her performance we applauded and Jensen yelled, “Way to go J bird.” She beamed because she knew it was Jensen.

After the twins play Jensen was beaming with pride. We met them backstage and the kids leaped in Jensen’s arms. “Daddy, you made it!” Danneel stood to the side with a scowl on her face. 

“Nothing could ever keep me away from you three. I love you guys so much and I’m so proud of you. Now, let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.” 

We all laughed and headed towards the cars. Danneel was going home and the kids were going to stay at our house. We all went out to dinner and of course Jensen was noticed by some fans. As I watched his interactions with the fans my mind kept replaying everything Danneel said to me. Then I saw her. 

The beautiful, young woman who went to every convention, every party open to the public and everyone knew who she was. Jensen knew her by name too. 

She was stunning and the way she hugged him and he leaned into her made my breath hitch. 

She’s studying to be an actress and she’s a musician. Young and absolutely beautiful. 

Jensen’s laugh filled the air and I saw her hand on his chest. The sting of tears filling my eyes and my heart aching. 

“Daddy, come on we’re starving” the kids said. She looked over at them, “oh my goodness, Jensen. The kids have gotten so big. Hey guys I don’t know if you remember me, but I remember meeting you guys a few years ago. Y'all have grown so much.” Jensen introduced her to everyone there except me. I sat there with the hole in my heart growing. 

Jensen and her continued talking for a while longer and the pain in my chest just grew. 

We had all sat down to order while Jensen continued talking. Donna leaned over, squeezed my hand and said, “Remember he loves his fans, but he loves you more.” I looked at her with tears in my eyes, “I hope so. Um, excuse me for a moment.” 

I stood and walked to the bathroom as the tears fell. How could he forget to introduce me? Was Danneel right? Was I just a rebound? 

When I returned to the table the food had arrived and Jensen was finally at the table. There was an opened gift next to him on the table. 

I looked at it and then at him. He leaned over as I sat down, “Are you okay?” I just nodded. 

Donna gave my hand a gentle squeeze and smiled softly. 

After we ate we drove back to the house. I kept looking at Jensen who had a huge smile plastered on his face and my eyes flicked down to the gift. 

“Jens, what’s in the gift?” “Oh she had a collage made of us to hang on the wall.” “Oh that’s sweet, but how did she get pictures of us?” “Oh no, pictures of her and I.” 

I swallowed hard and felt the sting of the tears, “Oh.” 

Jensen must have noticed the crack in my voice, “Baby, what’s wrong?” I shook my head and looked out the window. 

The tears started to fall. I tried not to let Danneel’s words get to me, but maybe she was right. She had been married to him for over a decade, and I definitely looked different than her and the other women he had dated. 

When we pulled up at home I put a smile on my face as we walked towards the door. 

Jensen handed Josh the keys and told him he’d be in the house in a minute. Josh looked at me and then Jensen and nodded. Donna took the kids inside and before she left she leaned in and said something to Jensen. He nodded. 

Taking my hand he asked me to wait. 

Once everyone had gone inside Jensen pulled me back inside the warmth of the car. 

“Baby, please talk to me. You’ve been crying all night. What can I do to help you?” 

I swallowed hard and looked down at my lap. I couldn’t look at him. “I just let Danneel get in my head, then I saw you at the restaurant with her and how you both were acting towards each other made me a little jealous and sad. It looked like you were flirting with her. Then you introduced her to everyone except me. Like you were embarrassed to admit you were married to me. If you’ve changed your mind about me, about us then please tell me. I’ll be okay, but I need to know.”

By the time I stopped talking the tears were falling hard and fast. 

Jensen’s breath was shaky. He grabbed my hand. “Oh baby. No, I love you and I haven’t changed my mind about us, and I never will. I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. Mom told me what Danneel said to you. Dad was right, you are the love of my life. You’re not a rebound. I’ve loved you from the moment I met you. You’re everything to me and if you asked me to, I'd give up everything to stay by your side forever.” He leaned forward to kiss me, but stopped, waiting for me to close the distance. “And as far as why I didn’t introduce you, it’s because she knows who you are. I talk about you all the time and her and I have talked about you and how much I love you. I’m sorry sweetheart.” “Jensen, I don’t want you to give anything up, I just need to stop letting her get in my head.”

I leaned forward, closing the distance between us and kissed him. The kiss was soft at first, but then deepened and became full of need. His hands trailed down my body and I moaned. 

“Jens.” I needed him. My arousal soaked my panties and I could feel his through his pants. 

He pulled me on his lap as we continued kissing. The rest of the world disappeared around us. At that moment it was just Jensen and I. 

Things were getting hot and heavy as his phone went off. He groaned against me and looked at his phone. 

“Josh, you’re kinda interrupting something.” Jensen laughed at whatever Josh said. “Yeah, we’re on our way in.” 

He hung up and chuckled, “We should go inside. I promise we will finish this later.” He kissed me again as I climbed off his lap. 

We walked towards the house holding hands, “I love you, Y/N. So much.” “I love you too, Jensen.” 

Walking into the house we were greeted with the sounds of laughter and children playing. Josh walked up to us laughing, “Alright you two, next time maybe climb in the backseat. I swear you two are like teenagers.” 

My face flushed red and Jensen laughed, “You’re just jealous you didn’t think about making out with Ali in the car.” They both laughed. 

Later that night as Jensen and I went to bed he pulled me into his arms. “I believe we were right about here.” Jensen said as he pulled me onto his lap. I giggled as he kissed down my neck and his hands trailed over my body. 

Jensen took his time with me tonight. We reconnected and my heart filled with so much love. As he pulled me close to his side and my head rested on his chest I felt all the love he had for me. “Jens, I’m sorry. Sorry I let her get in my head and I spiraled from there. You just got home and tonight should have been a happy homecoming, not one filled with tears.” 

He turned his head and looked at me, “Hey, this is part of life. D has always had a way of getting under people’s skin, she just knows how to cause chaos. I love you and only you. You’re it for me. I’m not going anywhere and I wake up every day thankful to have found you. You’re my calm in the chaos and the love of my life. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life proving to you how grateful I am for you, for us. I love you, Y/N. Today, tomorrow, forever.” 

A tear slipped out as I took in a deep, shaky breath. “I promise to work on letting her get to me. I wake up every day still in disbelief that you chose me. I never thought I’d find my home, the love of my life until I met you. Jensen you wear so many hats in your life and so many people depend on you. I want to be the one person in your life you can lean on, depend on. I love you, Jensen, today, tomorrow, forever. And I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life proving to you that you mean so much to me. I’m so glad you’re home, now we can focus on us and family. This Christmas is going to be one of the best in my life because I get to spend it with you and surrounded by family.” 

Jensen placed a kiss on my lips, “I can’t wait to spend this Christmas with you and our family too. This will be the first Christmas in a long time where I have everyone I love and care about under one roof. Thank you, Y/N for making it happen.” 

I nodded and smiled, “Good night Jens, I love you.” “Good night, sweetheart. I love you too.”

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@nescaveckwriter @kr804573 

@k-slla @jackles010378 

@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx 

@roseblue373 @cheynovak 

@jassackles  @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa 

@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 

@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 

@manicjk @stoneyggirl2 

@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi 

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld

@nancymcl @baby19sthings

@cheekygirl2309 @oceean

@kindollss @foxyjwls007

@lmg14 @cevansbaby-dove

@spxideyver @reignsboy19

@deans-baby-momma @deansimpalababy

@ladykitana90 @quietgirll75 

@superrey @kamisobsessed

@obliviousap @ninii-winchester

@mischiefnevermanaged89-blog @whimsyfinny

@bobbdylan @star-yawnznn

@reignsboy19 @monkey-d-hoshizora98

@depressionbarbie2023 @livingdeadblondequeen

@mandee7 @barnes70stark

@spnaquakindgdom

[lalavenderangel]

okay! here it is!

warnings: 18+!!! mentions of sex, murder, blood, stabbing, obsessive behavior, Nicholas himself is just honestly a warning if i’m honest, kind of angsty towards the end? and i think that’s all, if i missed anything please let me know!

word count: 4.3k

this is modern day but in this fic the Scream movie franchise doesn’t exist so the mask does not have a name is only described a little what it looks like. slightly off the movie as i wanted to give it my own twist.

this was not proofread at all so sorry for any mistakes but i do hope you enjoy it!

Ghostface!Nicholas x Reader!

(implied female but don’t believe i fully specified)

The thing about Ojai California was that it was known to be peaceful and serene, it was one of the reasons why you had moved there. Once you finished college you had decided to move there, a small town, artsy-ish and it was away from the craziness of Los Angeles. Sure, LA was nice and UCLA was an amazing college but you weren’t into that scene much at all. One of your closest friends you made in Los Angeles was, though he was truly built for that life.

You had met him at a small party out in West Hollywood, you don’t even know how you got invited but you went with your roommate at the time. You had met him while getting a drink, no not like in the movies when you pour your drink on someone and all of that, no he literally just poured your drink for you and started up a conversation. No numbers or social media was exchanged that night but anytime you and your roommate had gone out he seemed to always be there and each time you guys would talk until he finally had just asked for your number.

Now you two were attached at the hips. Your other friends would sometimes make jokes about your friendship with him, calling him obsessive and weird but you never saw it like that. Nicholas was just shy and wasn’t like the rest of your friends. All they wanted to do was party and get wasted which there was nothing wrong with that but being friends with Nicholas was like a breath of fresh air. He liked staying in and reading books and watching movies and listening to music. He also wanted to be an actor and you knew he would be a great actor one day.

“I just don’t get why you like him so much. I swear he’s got to be like a secret serial killer or something.” Your friend Alexis says.

“He’s not, stop that, none of you have even tried to get to know him. He’s a sweet guy.” You say. It was another night of being out with your friends and you had asked Nick to tag along, which of course they weren’t happy about but you didn’t care. He had excused himself to go to the bathroom and of course your friends took that as their chance to talk shit and it was pissing you off.

“You only think that because you're in love with him or some shit.” Matthew says and you roll your eyes. You weren’t in love with him but you couldn’t deny the attraction you had for him.

“Alright I think it’s best if Nick and I leave.” You say getting up and ignoring their protests. As you were heading to the bathroom you ran into Nicholas.

“Hey, is everything okay?” He asked, noticing the look on your face.

“No not really, can we go please?” You ask him.

“Of course we can, come on.” He says, placing his hand on the bottom of your back. He looks back towards the table, seeing the way each of your friends look at him, smirking to himself as he looks away.

Nick wasn’t always like this, truly he wasn’t but when he met you, something in him snapped. He became obsessed with you. He needed you more than he needed air and he was going to have you, even if that meant killing every single one of your friends. All they wanted was for you to stay away from him but he wasn’t going to let that happen, no, you were his. They needed to go.

After Nick dropped you off back at your apartment he stayed for a bit while you guys chatted. You confessed to him about how your friends felt, apologizing profusely and reassuring him that you in no way felt the same way. He knew, he knew from the second you looked at him. You saw who Nicholas actually was, who he always was before this obsession started. You had also confessed to him that you and Matthew sort of had a thing but you were over it. He knew you were over it when he managed to hire someone to hack into your computer where he found a conversation between you and your older sister. You had told her all about him and she had been the one to point out your feelings for him. You agreed and mentioned how you were going to end the “complicated” situation you had with Matthew.

Matthew was first on his list. He was Nicholas’s competition so of course he needed to be the first to go. He also knew some things about him which made his hatred for him even worse. You and Nick had said your goodbyes and he took off back to his apartment. He set all his stuff down on the little table by his door before heading to his room to get the special voice changing device he bought to make his phone calls. He could have gone and killed him right away but where was the fun in that? He wanted to toy with Matthew, making him completely lose his mind before he killed him, it was all a part of Nicholas’s game.

He grabbed his burner phone he bought and dialed Matthew's number, bringing the phone to his ear and having a satisfied smirk on his face when Matthew answered.

“Who’s this?” He asked.

“Hello Matthew.” Nick says, his voice coming out menacing just like he had hoped for.

“What the fuck, that doesn’t tell me who you are. Prank calls died in the mid 2000's, loser. Fuck off.” The phone clicks and Nick smirks to himself, giving it a while before he calls Matthew you again. “Okay seriously who the fuck are you, quit harassing me.”

“No you listen to me you piece of shit, you’re playing my game now on my fucking time when I say stop, we’ll stop.” Nicholas snaps his patience, already weighing thin.

“Ooo am I supposed to be scared of someone on a phone? Please, have a nice night freak.” The phone clicks again making Nick clench his jaw.

“Fine you want to play this the hard way, we’ll play it the fucking hard way.” He mumbles to himself.

A few days had gone by since the initial phone calls, Nicholas was supposed to make more but he let his anger get the better of him. He had pulled up in front of Matthews apartment building around 11 o’clock, parking his car a ways down, the plates changed for safety measures. He gets out of the car and makes his way into the building completely unseen as he maneuvers around after mesmerizing every detail of the layout in this building. He knew where the cameras pointed and when they shifted. He knew what places he could walk through without being seen. The less eyes on the situation the better. He made his way to the third floor of the building, finding the door of Matthews apartment, bending down to his knees and swiftly picking the lock before letting himself in. He roams the apartment for a moment to make sure no one else was there before he makes his way to Matthew's bedroom. There he laid, fast asleep in his bed in a sleep so deep there would be no way he would wake up anytime soon, not even to what Nick was about to do to him. And maybe that was Nicks doing from earlier in the day.

Nicholas stood at the foot of the bed, head to toe in black along with a white mask, the eyes and mouth so black there was no telling who was under the mask. He walks closer before raising his hand up high with the knife shining a little in the moonlight before he lays stab after stab after stab into Matthew’s back unable to stop himself for a moment before he groans and steps back, looking at Matthew’s mangled back, a sick smile on his face as he tilts his head and watches his blood soak his bed and drip to the floor. There was a thrill to this, a thrill Nicholas never felt before, and he wanted more. He brings his hand covered with a glove and wipes the knife off before he walks out of the apartment, once again avoiding a single person. His heart was pumping as he stripped himself of his costume once he managed to make it back to his car, leaning back in his seat as he caught his breath, a sadistic smirk on his face. He grabs the mask and looks at it for a moment, seeing Matthews splattered blood covering the mask, bringing his thumb in a little and wiping some of the blood off, admiring it on his thumb in the moonlight.

“One down, only a few more to go doll, and then you will be all fucking mine and not a single person will get in my way.” He whispers, sticking his tongue out and dragging the blood onto his tongue, a chill going down his spine before sets the mask down and takes off into the night.

You groan out a little as your phone rings for a third time, realizing you can no longer avoid it as much as you tried. You reached for it, almost dropping it as you do before answering it.

“Hello?” You mumble.

“He’s dead!” You hear Alexis scream into the phone causing a chill to shoot down your spine as you sit up quickly.

“Who is?” You asked.

“Matthew! I came to his place this morning to find him dead!” She creams some more. Your ears started ringing and everything felt like it was going in slow motion as the room spun as you got out of bed. Your phone has dropped as you quickly walk over to put your shoes on, grabbing your keys and phone, hanging up as you run out into the living room. You open the door to find Nicholas on the other side, arm raised as he was about to knock.

“Hey, whoa, what's going on, you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” He questions. He was right there and yet his voice sounded a million miles away. “Doll? You’re scaring me.”

“M-Matthews dead.” You breathe out.

“What? How?” His voice sounded panicked as he pulled you into his embrace.

“I don’t know, will you take me to his apartment please?” You whisper into his chest.

“Of course, come on.” He walks with you out of your apartment, arms around you tightly, helping you into his car before he gets in as well. He has to wait for you to tell him how to get there as he’s not supposed to know before he takes off, ‘missing’ a few turns here and there before he finally pulls into the complex. You don’t even wait for him to fully park before you rush out of his car, spotting Alexis right away and heading straight to her. You pull her in for a tight hug as you both cry.

“It was brutal, it wasn’t just some freak thing like breaking and entering, someone deliberately wanted to kill him. He was stabbed over thirty times they’re guessing and his back was so mangled and the wounds were so deep they went through his body as time went on. Who would do such a thing?” Alexis whispered, your stomach dropping as the mental image is painted into your mind. You hear footsteps behind you and you glance over to see a distressed Nick. Alexis saw him too and scoffed.

“Really, you brought him? He didn’t know Matthew like we did.” She says, not caring if he could hear her, in fact she hopes he did.

“I needed someone to drive me, and he was clearly coming over to see me anyway. I don’t see the issue, he knew Matthew enough, stop it.” You whispered, causing her to pull away and walk away from you. You sigh before turning to Nicholas.

“I’m sorry I should have stayed in the car. I was just so worried about you and Alexis, I can’t imagine the pain you two are feeling.” He breathes out but you shake your head and hug him tightly.

“I’m glad you’re here.” You say into his chest. He wraps his strong arms around you and holds you tightly to his chest, his dark eyes locked on Alexis as she talks to police. He knew he was going to have as much fun killing her as he did Matthew, he just needed to wait for the right moment.

The town was shaken up with the murder of Matthew which meant that for a while Nicholas needed to stay low and what easier way then staying with you? It actually wasn’t even his idea, it was yours. You had told him about how for a few days you were getting creepy phone calls much like Matthew you had and your fear was skyrocketing. Did Nick do that to push you to have him stay with you? Maybe. As time had gone on and people in the town settled again thinking it truly was just some freak thing that happened to Matthew, Nick started planning his next kill. But it was hard to focus when as of the last week you were all over him, not that he minded but he wanted that rush of a murder again. He was itching to kill Alexis as she kept trying to take you away from him.

You, completely clueless to everything in Nicholas’s mind obviously, just for some reason craved him. I mean as mentioned before you always wanted him but this was not just love but lust and lots of it. Maybe it was the way he cared about you so much, or the way that he was willing to stay with you day and night to keep you safe. Or maybe it was the damn way he would come back to your apartment after a two hour gym session, tank thrown over his shoulder, his body dripping in sweat, and those soft grunts he made as he made his way to the guest room, but you were going to go for the first option on the list.

Normally you weren’t like this, you had someone to fulfill that desire but obviously that was no longer a thing. So one afternoon, when Nick walked through the door of your apartment you basically jumped him and you both ended up having sweaty, post gym sex on your kitchen floor and it sent your mind reeling. The way his strong arms held you tightly, the sounds he made, the way his hand fit so perfectly around your throat. He had a mix of praising and degrading you, the degrading taking you off guard but leaving you desperate for more. And his cock? Maybe you were being dramatic when you said this but it was truly a moment of will it fit? And man did Nick make it fit, over and over again until you were a fucked out, cock drunk mess on your kitchen floor. When he saw the way he had, it sent a pride in him knowing that he made you feel that way and he was going to be the only one to do so. He had picked you up gently and carried you to your bathroom where he gave you the best aftercare of your life. And that was it for you. Everytime he would walk through the door you guys would fuck all over your apartment until every inch was no longer left untouched.

It was as if you were addicted to him, in actually more than just a sexual manner as well. You needed him, you felt obsessed with him almost. But it would never compare to the deep feeling of his obsession with you, no he made sure to keep that at bay. Finally one night, as much as he didn’t want to, he had to stop your sexcapades.

“I’m sorry baby, I promised Samuel and Antonio I would hang with them for a couple hours tonight, oh please don’t make that face doll, you know it makes me weak. Look I promise it will only be three hours tops and when I get back I’ll eat this pretty little pussy until you’re an overstimulated little mess. Nothing in return I promise, it will be all about you, and you know how much I get pleasure from giving you pleasure. Is it a deal?” He asked with a bit of a pout.

You looked at him for a moment before you sigh and nod your head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be keeping you in all the time, I just…I’m still scared.” You whisper.

“Oh baby I know, but it will be quick and keep the door locked, I’ll take my key and just stay in your room okay?” You have those special curtains in there so not a single soul will know anyone is here alright. And you know I’ll answer your call right away alright?”

“Alright, have fun, and be safe please, I would be lost without you.” And that wasn’t a lie, you knew you would be lost without him. He smiles as he leans in and gives you a sweet yet super passionate kiss before he gets up to get ready.

He looked at the time on his phone again, he now had about 2 and a half hours left as you ended up getting your way and he fucked you a couple times to keep you happy while he went out. He was watching Alexis from across the way, his car hidden pretty well as he waited for her shift to end. He didn’t have to do the full two hours if he was honest but he wanted to drag out her death a little, he wanted to hear her scream or her life as she looked into his mask, desperate to see a hint of who was behind the mask, knowing it wouldn't matter as she would be long dead after anyway. So if she ended up seeing him, he didn’t care. As soon as her shift was over, she got into her car and drove off back to her place, Nicholas following behind about two cars. When she got to her house, a gift from her parents, he waited until she got inside, and her guard was fully down.

After a moment he got out of his car and made his way around, once again unseen as he made his way to the back where he found out she never kept her door locked. He hid in some bushes and pulled out his burner phone and called her.

“Hello?” She asked as she walked around her kitchen, getting ready to make a snack while she watched a movie.

“Hello.” Nick breathed out.

“Uh, yes?” Alexis questions after a moment of silence.

“Who is this?” Nicholas asked. Alexis looked at her phone for a second before bringing it back to her ear.

“You called me, who were you trying to reach though?” She asked as she continued walking around her kitchen mindlessly.

“What number is this?” He asked, teasing her and knowing he was pissing her off.

“Listen dipshit I don’t know what this is but I’m hanging up.” She says, about to end the call.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, you’re playing my game and it doesn’t end until I say so.” Nick snaps. He knew the game was actually about to end, in fact the real game was going to be chasing her around her house before he brutally stabs her to death.

‘Fuck you.” The line cuts off and Nick goes into action, sneaking his way into the house. He stood in the perfect spot that reflected his reflection onto the window above the sink but also in the same spot where he could quickly duck and avoid her catching him if she turned around. He stood there for a moment, head tilted as he watched her every move until she finally made her way to the kitchen sink, lancing up for a moment then looking down then back up again as she gasped and turned around.

“Hello.” She called out and Nicholas shook his head. Has this bitch not seen a single scary movie? You never call out to the killer. He can hear her grab a knife, making her way around the kitchen where he waited, hidden enough for her to have to check twice to see him. Once she was close enough he grabbed her ankle and yanked her to the ground before getting on top of her, their arms wrestling around as she tried to stab him. She did manage to push him off as he allowed her, having her moment to stab him but instead she ran and Nicholas sighed. She really had her chance to slow him down and she didn’t. He got up and ran after her, her screams filling the house but not a single person outside was able to hear her. He had almost got her a couple times but she was a bit faster than he thought. Finally in a rush of adrenaline she managed to slice his thigh, making him hiss before he finally had enough. He got up and managed to get her trapped in a room where he grabbed the back of her head and smack it into a wall before throwing her down, raising his hand an stabbing her over and over again just as he did Matthew, the adrenaline of it all hitting him as he smiled wickedly as he watched her take her last breath, fear in her eyes. He stabbed her a couple more times for his own pleasure before he got up, wiping the knife with his gloved hand and leaving the scene. He would tip off the cops tomorrow, pretending to be a family member saying that they hadn’t heard from her in awhile and how that was not normal. And let them handle the rest from there.

When he got to his car he was still amped up, so he quickly rid himself of his maks and the costume, putting on the clothes he wore out before he paused, noticing the semi deep cut on his thigh.

“Fucking bitch.” He huffed, yanking his jeans on and driving back to your apartment.

When he got back it was him who jumped you this time as soon as he walked through the door, basically ripping your clothes off as he kissed you.

“Good night?” You questioned, giggling a little as he stripped you naked.

“Best fucking night ever.” He says, pulling his clothes off, about to pick you up until you gasped when you saw his thigh.

“Nicholas what happened?” Fuck, he saw it, yet he didn’t think to cover it, his high from the kill to strong.

“Huh, oh that? You know how the guys are, they get wild.” He tries to pick you up again but you wouldn’t let him.

“That looks bad, we need to get you to a hospital.” You say quickly putting your clothes back on in case, helping him pull his jeans back up before he steps back.

“It’s fine.” He breathes out, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Nick, clearly it's not, your thigh is soaked in blood.” You say and he can't help but let out a laugh, a laugh that makes you feel uneasy.

“Oh come on, it’s just a little cut now would you just fucking relax?” He normally wouldn’t be like this with you but his mindstate wasn’t fully back yet and that was his mistake. He should have waited to come back to you.

“Oh excuse me for caring about you.” You snap at him and it makes him snap.

“Care about me? Oh, I don’t think so, doll. No see if you cared about me you would have stopped being friends with Alexis and Matthew the second they kept running their mouths about me, but no, you remained their friends. You let them say all these awful things about me that were never true, barely defended me to them. And don’t get me started on the others, which I’ll handle them eventually.” He says looking at you, a dark and sinister look in his eyes. “See baby this all could have been avoided if you would have just stopped fucking talking to those low life mother fuckers but you didn’t did you? DID YOU?!” He screams in your face.

“Nicholas, you're scaring me.” You whisper as you step back from him a little, making him laugh more as he looks at you, frustrated tears filling his eyes.

“Scared of me? I’m protecting you! I did what I had to, to protect you, to make sure no one took you away from me. And now no one will.” He says pulling the knife out and pointing it at you. “And you doll, you’re going nowhere now, you’re mine forever.”

“Nick, wh-what did you do?” Your eyes well up with tears as you tremble.

“Oh baby, I killed them. But you see they left me no choice, they wanted you to stay away from me, to leave me. And like I just said, that is never happening.” He blinks back his frustrated tears as he steps closer to you, grabbing you harshly and pulling you against him, knife held to your throat. “Say it, say you’re not going anywhere.”

“Nick…” You cry out.

“SAY IT!” He screams.

“I’m not going anywhere.” You cry out.

“That’s right baby, shh it's okay, it's all okay.” His tone changes as he tosses the knife on the couch and hugs you tightly, his fingers brushing through your hair as he shushes you. “It’s just you and me now doll, just you and me forever.” “He whispers.

taglist: @nicholaschavezslut69 @blackynsupremacy

[skzfairyyydreamz]

Replaced? (Part7)

Genre: Skz smau, Text posts, Non!idolAu, Angst, friends to enemies, Mini series

Pairing: Bsf!skz , Fem!Reader, Stoner!Skz/Stoner!Reader, Bartender!skz, Club manager!Chan, Club security!Changbin, Bottle girl!Reader

Warnings: ‼️Slow build‼️strong language (obvi coming from the profanity queennnn) , mentions of alcohol and smoking, mentions of fighting, mentions of/implied SA, mentions of anxiety plz let me know if i missed anything!

A/N: thank you guys sooo much for all the love on this mini series, and my biggest apologies for the wait! i pinky promise NOT to take a whole month to post the next part!!! but with this series coming to an end prepare yourselves for non stop CHAOS DRAMA and ANGST! all feedback, reblogs, and replies are SAUR greatly appreciated !!! thank you for sticking around and reading my silly little stories!

© Skzfairyyydreamz - Plagiarism is a crime. Do not repost, alter, translate or copy without my consent.

<<<Previous | Next >>> Word count: 4K Screenshot count: 30

After what felt like 30 long and silent minutes of everyone collectively cleaning up the after math of that night, you finally broke the silence.. 

“Honestly Thank you guys sm for staying to help me with this crazy ass mess .. and you know…”  you spoke nodding your head in the direction of your bedroom referring to jeongin while avoiding saying his name like it was some type of bad omen.  

“No, Ofc!” Changbin spoke. 

“You know we wouldn’t leave you alone after all that happened tonight.” Felix added as he finished pushing all your furniture back into its designated places.  

“please" chris scoffed “as much time as we spend in this apartment, we’re practically your roommates! Ofc we’d stay to help out. ” he added as he came out the kitchen holding what sounded like a garbage bag full of empty solo cups and broken glass.  

“Girl go get some rest you're gonna need it, gimme that.” minho said while taking the broom and dustpan from your hands and shooing you away.  

“Agreed! ” Felix walked up behind you kissing the side of your head and gently rubbing your shoulders “You’re free to go shower and change or get comfy however you need darling.”  

“Nuh uh, you s-?” You turned around but he shut your protest down rather quickly. “I’m positive princess, go. We’ll take care of everything out here”  

“But -” 

“GO...I got it!” he turned you around ignoring the pout on your face as he nudged you in the direction of the hallway.  

It was nearly sunrise, and you were absolutely dreading the idea of having to face jeongin when he woke up. Even then in that moment walking into your bedroom to prepare for a shower, you dreaded even being in his presence. Just the thought of him possibly waking up at any given second was eating you alive, REGARDLESS to the sound of his grizzly bearlike snores and the sight of drool sliding down the sides of his mouth, indicating that he was VERY much sound asleep. However, You never even made it passed the doorframe of your room before the anxious knots in your stomach told you to turn around and run right back down that hallway.  

“ lix ... i cant- I cant do it.” you whisper panicked running up to him and grabbing his hand. 

“cant what baby ?”  “ i feel so nasty and guilty, i can't even look at him right now what if we wakes up!??”      

“ baby... first of all you have nothing to feel guilty for. And secondly, he slept through the sound of you trying bash sophies face in with glass liquor bottles...  I'm pretty sure that dude is not waking up any time soon my love” he let out a chuckle. “What if he does thoooo!??” you whined “ im not ready to face him babe what will i say to him huh??? Oh, hey there jeongin i just tried to kill your girlfriend because shes such a shitty unfaithful stupid little bitch, how did you sleep?” felix cackled out loud this time pulling you into a hug and kiss to calm your racing mind. “ okay okay I'll get your clothes for you, no worries princess”  

“ugh, thank you so much lix youre actually an angel“ 

“no problem jagi , tshirt or hoodie?”  

“hoodie” you continued to pout slightly , while trying to brush the weight of tomorrows worries away  “sweatpants or shorts?"

“shorts please” 

“mkay, be back in a jiff!!”  he began walking down the hall to your bedroom “pink towel, black loofa please!!” you yelled out to him. 

“you got it!” he answered back “you're so amazinggg, you deserved the world!! “ you thanked him aloud once more “ i already have her” he sing songed back to you as you smiled to yourself thanking the heavens you could go a least few more hours avoiding the inevitable.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           ~~~~~                                                                                                                                                                                           

“... no im telling you it was weird as fuck! Like her whole aura just completely changed when she saw him.” ( felix) 

“putting two and two together he clearly had to have said or done something to her for her to be so angry. We’ve known y/n for a long ass time and I've never seen her more mad than she was tonight.” (minho) 

“besides trying to murder sophie..” (changbin) 

“yes... besides that! Also not to mention his face was bright fucking red when we came back upstairs and they were the only two in the apartment.” (minho) 

“it WAS! Idk what happened but im pretty positive she smacked the shit out of him.” (changbin) 

“ hold on?... Yall left her ALONE  with that fucking scumbag?” lix raised his voiced stressfully running a hand through his hair as he scooted closer to the edge of the sofa, beginning to get more irritated by the conversation he and the boys were having. 

“WHOA! Hold on!” minho pointed at felix also scooting to the edge of his seat jumping quickly at the only opportunity he had to both calm felix down AND defend himself. “ it wasn't like that at all, the three of us went downstairs to get the birthday cakes out the car while y/n came upstairs because she had to use the bathroom. Alex was actually already here setting up his DJ equipment before y/n even got back!” 

“yeah thats true.. And that really only took about 10 minutes, truth be told. ” (chris) 

“and where tf was jeongin?!” (felix) 

“he and sophie had ran out to get ice” (changbin) 

“Listen, all i know is whatever happened it is NOT to be taken lightly. y/n is a tough girl and not much is going to make her cry so we WILL be getting to the bottom of this TODAY, THIS hour.” (chris) 

“ SHE CRIED!? ... oh imma kill him” felix let out a sinister almost emotionless chuckle as he slightly rocked back and forth in his seat being only seconds away from crashing out. 

“wait deadass? When??” (changbin) 

“im deadass. It was before the party started like right when the guests started arriving. I went in the kitchen just to chat with her and i noticed she was having a moment, she tried to brush me off but you know i always call her bluff.” (chris)

“and what did she say? Because Bin tried to ask what was wrong and she seemed too angry to even speak, she gave us a look but that was about it. she just poured herself a drink then went out to get some air on the balcony.”  (minho)

“ she didn't really tell me anything all she said was that she felt stupid and violated.. So ofc i told her i would handle that shit right then if she just told me what happened, but she insisted on dropping it and initially I wasn't going to but i just let it go and held her for a little bit once i saw her shed a few tears... however she did promise me that we would talk about it later and shes good for keeping a promise so ofc i trust her to do so.” (chris) 

“yeah... im ready to go to jail” Felix let out yet another emotionless chuckle. 

“okay, something definitely did happen between the two, yes. But lets just breathe and hear it from y/n first before we start collecting bail money.” ( changbin) 

“man fuck all that fr! I need answers this shit is really starting to eat at me” (felix) 

They were so caught up  in their conversation that they didnt even hear you come out the bathroom and back down the hallway. 

“So is sleep out of the question?” you spoke, making your Prescence known as they all snapped their heads in your direction. 

“entirely outta the question my love, we have quite a few things to talk about” felix responded patting the spot next to him on the sofa signaling you to sit and join the conversation.  

You hesitantly took a seat next to Felix on the sofa across from minho and chris, as changbin was sat in the loveseat to your right. Taking  a look around the room you let out a shaky sigh really not wanting to have this conversation after the hectic night you had but you knew you couldn't put it off any longer or they all would lose their fucking minds.  

“Take your time kiddo, no pressure.” Chris spoke softly sensing your body tensing up. 

“Whenever you're ready love, we trust you.” felix added holding your hand and kissing the back of your knuckles. 

“y/nnnnie dont look so upset” changbin spoke next “ you know we’re not here to scold you, you did nothing wrong we just want to protect you and know that you're safe.” 

“ we just want to know what happened is all babe.” felix pulled you into a hug and began rubbing your back to calm you down.  

“ i know i know...” you took a deep breath and let out another heavy sigh.  

“just relax a bit, I'll go make some tea.” minho spoke before getting up and walking to the kitchen.  

It took about an hour-long conversation to tell the guys what alex had did and explain everything in detail. Emotions were very high but somehow you were able to calm them all  down and convince them to let it go at least for now. Chris had kept insisting that you press charges against him but you let it be known that you genuinely didnt feel the need to because one, you were more than proud that you found the strength to defend yourself when you really needed to, plus you were almost positive that nasty smack you gave him would leave a bruising. Secondly, you knew that regardless to lix being calm in that moment, he was definitely still on hots and there would be absolutely nothing nobody could do to stop him from beating alex’s ass again the next time he saw him. So for you the score board was 3 to 1, in your head it was perfect girl math. (LMAO) and truth be told you really didn't want to get lix involved and have him end up with assault charges for beating this man's ass multiple times. You just wanted to let it go and forget it all for as long as you possibly could.  

After the conversation had died, everyone just sat in complete silence with their own thoughts for a few minutes. Tiredness, worry and deep frustration sketched over the faces of everyone in the room. Not that you didn't already know this but this moment made it so evident how much your friends and boyfriend truly, truly cared about you.  

“ughhh! That was alot..I need another blunt” Felix broke the silence with a deep sigh.  

You lifted your head off of his shoulder to get up from your spot on the sofa, reaching for your stash box sitting on the coffee table in front of you. “I’ll roll , yall can meet me on the balcony in 5” you left a kiss on the top of Felix's head before walking out to the balcony. 

A few minutes had passed before both chris and lix joined you on the balcony, while bin and minho stepped out on a breakfast run for you guys. It was a bit passed 7 a.m the sun was out and the birds were chirping. You sat in silence while the joint rotated between the 3 of you. What you would normally consider to be a beautiful morning, had actually become the one thing you were dreading the most. You tried to at least enjoy the morning breeze against your skin as you ignored the burning feeling in your chest that jeongin would be waking up pretty soon and you would then have to face yet another conversation you did NOT want to have.  

Just as you finished up your smoke session and went back inside you heard the door to your bedroom creak open with jeongins voice immediately following “hey, where's Sophie? She didn't stay?” 

“Speak of the fucking devil...” you whispered to yourself.  

“bro .. what exactly are you trying to say to me right now?!” jeongin raised his voice, you could see frustration visibly building within him.  

“jeong listen.. You really need to start seeing sophie for the person she truly is or youre gonna end up broken in the end.” you said as calmly as you could.  

“so what im supposed to breakup with her and end my relationship because you say so?!” 

“jeongin if you'd just calm down and listen to what i have to say you would understand where im coming from.”  

“well wtf are you saying y/n? Stop beating around the bush!” 

“basically me and sophie got into a fight last .. and it almost got physical.” 

“what?? y/n tell me you did not hit her?? what could have possibly happened while i was asleep for y'all to even get into it like that?!” 

“i didnt get the chance to but you can thank chris and felix for that” 

“so what youre telling me is that you get drunk and sassy then start picking fights with your friends? I swear you cant leave drunk women unattended for shit” jeongin rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair as he walked away to pick up his phone, most likely to check on his girlfriend. 

“wth? jeongin when i have i ever not been able to hold my liquor?! It was the end of the night the party was already over by that time and i had already sobered up, just shut up and listen for a moment.” 

He let out a sigh as he flopped down on the sofa with his eyes still glued to his phone “im listening” he replied with annoyance lingering in his tone of voice. 

There was a quick moment of hesitation as you shared a nervous look between chris and felix “ you know you're my best friend and i love you right?”   

Breaking his gaze from his phone, He finally looked up at you clearly super annoyed with the conversation at this point “ ...yes” he replied with a blank stare. 

“ and you know I'd never lie or do anything to hurt you right?” 

“right ... except try to beat up my girlfriend” he said in a low sarcastic tone rolling his eyes before looking at his phone again 

“it wasnt unprovoked, jeongin! theres more to that story!” 

“like i said , im listening!! But im not hearing shit?!” 

“sophie kissed me!” chris blurted out, not being able to take your stalling any longer.  

And just like, the air and the whole atmosphere of the room had entirely changed like a press of a button. His face went to stone as he stood up from the sofa with his phone tightly gripped in his hand.  

“what did you just say?” he raised his eyebrow challenging Chris in a cold tone. 

“she had been making advances and throwing herself at me from the moment you passed out in y/n’s room, i told her NO multiple times and she literally forced herself on me in the kitchen.” 

“bullshit!” he glared at Chris. 

“Lix and i walked in on it .. we literally seen it with our own eyes, jeong..” you defended Chris in the softest voice you could, really not wanting jeongin to get any angrier than he already was. 

“BULLSHIT!” he repeated, turning to scream in your direction this time. 

“YO! WATCH IT! Felix yelled back at him wasting no time to defend you. He quickly stood up in the middle of you two, reaching behind himself to grab your hand once he realized the loudness of his deep voice had startled you. 

“wtf is this some sick and twisted joke?!” 

“jeongin, mate ..we have no reason to lie to you. I know this is a lot to take in right now and its gonna be rough but Sophie is no good ... we’re your closest friends and we just want what's best for you.” chris tried to calm him even knowing that was likely not to happen. 

Jeongin said nothing, he just let out a sarcastic dry laugh as he walked away from the conversation. The apartment stood quiet waiting for him to return back to the living room. And when he did, he followed the silence, quietly flopping back down on the sofa once more to put on his sneakers.  

And that was Chris’s last straw, jeongin’s silence had sent him over the edge. “SO WHAT?? IM A LIAR NOW?.. AS  LONG AS WEVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS THIS IS HOW YOU ACT OVER A FUCKING GIRL THAT DOESNT EVEN DESERVE YOU TO BEGIN WITH!?” 

Jeongin kept his silence as he continued to take his time putting his shoes on almost as if he was ignoring Chris. 

“Well if that's what you think wait for minho and changbin to come back and ask them yourself, they were here for it was well!” 

“nah I'm good” jeongin put on a false nonchalant act.  

“so you don't believe any of us is what you're saying? Minho, bin, y/n, lix, and i are all just gonna lie on your girlfriend unprovoked??” 

“i just dont undertsand when we started ganging up on eachother instaed of talking shit out ??!” 

“IS THAT NOT WTF WERE TRYING TO DO RIGHT NOW??” chris barked back. 

“ yall BEEN holding hostility against sophie, you think im fucking dumb i peeped the energy shift a WHILE ago!!” 

“ thats because sophie is a fucking werido jeong!” you jumped in to defend chris once more “Shes been doing hella weird and shady shit for a long ass time, but for the sake of YOU we tried to keep the peace and keep it under wraps! I even distanced myself from her a while ago because shes been lying on me and acting hella phony. Youre like my little brother ofc i didnt want to bring it up and end up putting you into a predicament where you had to choose between her and your friends that would be fucking ridiculous ..” 

“You think i wanna be doing this right now?! Jeongin us having to have this conversation is hurting my fucking heart because you love so blindly!! you dont even realize what this girl is doing to you!” your passionate argument had turned into screaming at this point and you were afraid that the love you held for your best friend and the action of trying to protect him had gotten lost in translation.

“i dont realize what shes doing to me?? wtf is she even doing ?!!?” he barked back at you  clearly clueless and stubborn not even putting any effort to try and understand your point of view. 

“oh my... fucking goodness ..” felix let out a loud frustrated sigh as he slouched back into the sofa. He and chris both facepalming simultaneously as you just stood there looking at him like he had four heads.. 

“dude.. She basically cheated on you! She kissed me.. ANOTHER MAN!! That man being one of your best friends and your roommate...that's literally right under your nose!! so she clearly doesn't give a fuck about you, she didnt even have the decency to do it outside of your friend group, jeongin” at this point chris knew good and well that the only reason jeongin continued to argue back was because he was embarrassed and in denial. 

He stood quiet for a few seconds just upset and breathing heavy not really having much to say to continue defending sophie (because what is there even to defend DROP THAT HOE!) 

“so what, she just left after that happened?!” jeongin spoke again attempting to argue back 

“no... I tried to take her fucking head off because why would she ever do some grimey shit like that?! But these two wouldn't let me hit her so i kicked her outta my fucking house.” you spoke with annoyance.

“ that shit dont make no fucking sense why would she try to kiss chris when we’re literally dating and everyone that was in here knows that!!” he raised his voice again 

“bingo dipshit!” felix’s frustration had began turning into sassy side remarks  

“THAT RIGHT THERE IS OUR POINT EXACTLY!!” you screamed starting to feel like you were talking to a brick wall 

“not TRY might i add .. she DID kiss me. She quite literally grabbed my face and kissed me after i told her to stop.” chris added in a sarcastic tone, he was pissed that this conversation was even still going on. 

“call her.” felix chimed in but jeongin just glared in his direction not saying anything. 

“call her right now with all of us here and ask her why she got into it with y/n last night 

He went silent once more ignoring felix entirely before getting up from the sofa to go grab his jacket and keys. 

This silence was much thicker than each one previously, and it left loud feelings of frustration and utter disbelief lingering in the air.  

“jeong, you deadass?..” you spoke again, standing frozen. All the anger in your body wholly dissipating, being replaced with the hurt that was painfully evident in your voice as it trembled slightly. 

Realizing how badly he fucked up, jeongin once again chose to stay silent and avoid your gaze. 

“Denial is a fat bitch to swallow isn't it?” felix scoffed. 

“ Fuck off, felix!” jeongin bit back as he began walking towards the front door 

“right back at ya cunt!” felix barked in a harsh tone as he flipped him the bird 

“you're mad at the wrong people idk wtf else to tell you but if you wanna choose to be stupid for this fucking girl than have fun with the outcome!” chris dusted his hands with the situation and walked away as jeongin walked in the opposite direction, storming out of the apartment slamming the door behind him  

You stood there staring at the door almost stuck in a trance. There was nothing you wanted more than for him to come back through that door or for this to just be some bad dream  but it most definitely was not.   

Slowly turning around towards felix who was already slowly making his way towards you feeling the sadness in your aura. He gently grabbed your hand immediately rubbing his thumb over the back of your kunckles in an attempt to comfort you. Your watery eyes met his apologetic ones and he could feel everything you were feeling in the that moment. He was pissed because every single thing that you were scared of happening had just come true.  

“ lix.. Please tell me i did not just lose my best friend over this bitch..” your voice was almost a whisper with a barely audible sob leaving your mouth before you could even finish your sentence. The tears began to fall at a rapid pace and there wasnt much lix could even say to comfort you. “ i knew it... i knew this shit was gonna happen!” the tears kept flowing He felt so defeated, and the only thing he could do was the one thing he does best, and that was hold you. He held you on the sofa for hours. You had cried and cried, fell asleep, woke up and cried some. Minho and changbin had come back and immediately realized exactly what had happened. Chris filled them in on all the details of how ridiculous jeongin was being and of course they were just as heated as the rest of you were. The guys had all ended-up crashing in your guest bedroom before felix had woken up and carried you to your bed so that you could rest properly. It was definitely needed after so much emotional destress on top of you being awake for 24+ hours and all the partying and drinking that had happened right before all the drama.  

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[crossfandomskylines]

In the Space Between: Chapter 18

OTHER CHAPTERS:

Chapter 1 I Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5

Chapter 6 I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 I Chapter 9 I Chapter 10

Chapter 11 I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14 I Chapter 15

Chapter 16 I Chapter 17

Pairing: Glen Powell x OC

Summary: Glen and Gabby savor their long-awaited reunion, starting with a cozy coffee date where they reconnect over laughter and conversation. Back at Gabby’s apartment, Glen convinces her to focus on studying while he tackles some of her chores, finding joy in the normalcy of helping her. Their playful banter takes a turn when Gabby tries to stop him from folding laundry, leading to a lighthearted wrestling match that ends with them tangled together on the bed.

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI! Smut (Light hair pulling. Protected Sex. P in V.) I promise one day I'll right more interesting smut but I'm still new to writing smut so keeping it simple for now.

A/N: Please continue to let me know what you think with Hearts, Comments, and Reblogs! Also if you'd like to be tagged please let me know, and I will get you added to the tag list!

The sun was warm but not stifling as Glen and Gabby strolled down the quiet street toward her favorite coffee shop. The hum of the city filled the air—cars passing, a faint honk in the distance, and the occasional bark of a dog being walked by its owner. Gabby felt the corners of her mouth tug upward every time she glanced sideways at Glen. He was here, walking next to her, his hand brushing hers occasionally as they moved in sync. She had to resist the urge to pinch herself, still half-convinced this was all some vivid dream.

“You’re staring,” Glen said, his voice soft and teasing.

She glanced up at him and shrugged lightly. “I just… I can’t believe you’re here. This doesn’t feel real.”

Glen chuckled, and before she could pull her hand away, he caught it in his, lacing their fingers together. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s real, Gabby. I’m here. And I’ve missed you like crazy. I had a small break in filming today and tomorrow and I knew that there wasn’t any other way I wanted to spend it.”

Her chest tightened, and she squeezed his hand back, not trusting herself to speak without her voice breaking.

When they reached the coffee shop, the warm scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods enveloped them like a hug. Gabby led the way to a cozy table in the corner, tucked away from the bustling counter. Glen pulled out her chair before taking the one across from her, leaning his forearms on the table as if closing the small space between them even more.

“This place is cute,” he said, glancing around at the mismatched wooden furniture and chalkboard menu above the counter.

“It’s my go-to,” Gabby said, scanning the menu. “The tea here is great, and they make this avocado toast  that’s ridiculously good. I’ve heard the coffee is good too, but you know how I feel about coffee.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Glen said with a smirk, leaning back in his chair. “Though I think I’d eat just about anything if it meant I could sit here with you.”

Gabby rolled her eyes playfully but couldn’t suppress the blush creeping up her neck. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Maybe,” he admitted, his grin widening.

When their food arrived—Gabby’s avocado toast and Glen’s bacon-and-egg sandwich—they dug in, the conversation flowing easily between bites. They talked about everything and nothing: Gabby’s classes, Glen’s time on set, and the small moments they had missed sharing during their weeks apart.

At one point, Glen reached across the table, brushing his thumb over her knuckles as he held her hand. “You know,” he said, his voice low enough that only she could hear, “I could sit here forever. Just talking to you.”

Her heart swelled, and she blinked back the tears threatening to form before taking another bite of her toast.

The walk back to Gabby’s apartment was slower, more leisurely. The comfortable silence between them was occasionally broken by Glen pointing out little things he noticed—the dog trotting by with its tongue lolling out, a family laughing on the steps of a brownstone, or the way the autumn leaves scattered across the sidewalk seemed to crunch louder underfoot. Gabby didn’t mind the quiet; it felt natural, like they were slipping back into a rhythm she hadn’t realized she missed so much.

When they reached her apartment, she unlocked the door and pushed it open, stepping aside so Glen could enter first. He barely made it two steps inside before a flash of orange fur darted toward him.

“Willow!” Gabby called, half in surprise, half in amusement.

The orange tabby cat skidded to a halt at Glen’s feet, her fluffy tail held high as she circled him. She gave a loud, insistent meow, then rubbed herself against his legs, purring like a tiny engine.

“Well, hey there,” Glen said, crouching down to her level. He reached out cautiously, but Willow wasn’t shy. She nuzzled into his hand, practically shoving her head into his palm as though she couldn’t get enough attention.

Gabby stood frozen in the doorway, watching the interaction with a mix of disbelief and humor. “She… she never does that.”

Glen glanced up at her, his hand still gently scratching behind the cat’s ears. “I mean I’m kind of her favorite. Didn’t you say she’s basically claimed my shirt as hers?”

The cat responded with another loud purr, pressing her face into his knee.

Gabby shook her head, a grin spreading across her face as she closed the door and leaned against it. “She’s really laying it on thick. I think she likes you more than me right now.”

Glen chuckled, standing back up as Willow weaved between his ankles. “What can I say? I’m irresistible.”

Gabby rolled her eyes playfully but couldn’t deny how much the sight warmed her heart. Willow was usually content to observe people from a distance, barely tolerating affection on her own terms.

Glen scooped up the cat effortlessly. Willow settled into his arms like she’d been there a thousand times, her head resting lazily against his chest.

Gabby’s heart ached in the best way as she watched them. How was it possible that he could make her fall for him even more just by holding her cat?

When Glen caught her staring, he gave her a knowing smile. “What?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly, though the warmth in her cheeks betrayed her. “I’m just… surprised, that’s all.”

He walked over, still holding Willow, and gave her a teasing grin. “What, you didn’t think I was a cat person?”

“No, it’s not that. I just didn’t think Willow was an anyone cat,” she shot back.

“Well, I guess we’re full of surprises today,” he said softly, brushing his lips against her forehead.

Willow gave a soft chirp, seemingly annoyed at being ignored, and Glen chuckled. “Alright, alright, I’ll put you down. You’re a little attention hog, aren’t you?”

As he set the cat down, she trotted off to her favorite spot on the windowsill, leaving Glen and Gabby alone again.

“Speaking of pets, where’s Brisket?” Gabby asked noticing that Glen hadn’t mentioned him and the dog clearly wasn’t with him.

“Les is watching him for me. Wasn’t sure what our plans would be…or how much attention he’d get. So she offered to take him until I fly out tomorrow.” Glen explained before changing the subject. “So what were your plans for the day?” he asked, glancing at the stack of textbooks and notebooks on the coffee table.

Gabby sighed. “Nothing exciting. I was going to study for a bit, maybe do some laundry, vacuum, and tidy up. The usual. But now…”

“But now?”

“Now?” she repeated, leaning back against the door and giving him a shy smile. “Now, I just want to spend time with you.”

His expression softened, and he closed the space between them, placing his hands gently on her hips. “I want to spend time with you too,” he said, his voice a low murmur, “but I don’t want you to fall behind because I showed up.”

“Glen-” she started, shaking her head.

“Listen,” he interrupted, his hands tightening ever so slightly. “How about this. You study for half an hour, and I’ll take care of some of the chores. Then we’ll have the rest of the day to do whatever you want.”

Her eyes widened, and she laughed softly. “You’re serious?”

“Absolutely.” His grin was teasing but sincere. 

“You want to spend your day off doing my chores?”

“It’s only for half an hour,” he reasoned. “Besides I like doing stuff like that. It makes me feel… normal, you know?”

Gabby tilted her head, studying him. “You’re really okay with it?”

“Gabby,” he said, leaning down to rest his forehead against hers, “if it makes your life a little easier and gives us more time together, I’m more than okay with it.”

Her chest ached with the kind of gratitude that made her eyes sting. She nodded. “Okay. But only if you let me help after I’m done studying.”

“We’ll see,” he teased, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead before stepping back. “Now, go. Books. Study. I’ll take care of the rest.”

Gabby smiled as she grabbed her textbooks and settled onto the couch, the sound of Glen rummaging in the kitchen grounding her in the moment. For the first time in weeks, everything felt right again.

Thirty minutes later the timer on Gabby’s phone buzzed softly, marking the end of her self-imposed study session. She closed her notebook with a sigh of relief, glad to escape the dry material she’d been slogging through.

“Half an hour exactly,” she muttered to herself with a grin, stretching her arms overhead as she stood. She tucked her books neatly back onto the shelf and wandered down the hallway toward her bedroom, curious to see what Glen had gotten himself into.

The sight that greeted her made her stop in her tracks and lean against the doorway with an incredulous smile. Glen was standing by her bed, a neatly folded stack of her laundry already on the corner, and another shirt in his hands that he was methodically folding.

“Glen,” she called out, crossing her arms as she stepped inside. “What are you doing?”

He glanced up at her, completely unbothered. “Folding laundry.”

She rolled her eyes, though the amusement in her voice was unmistakable. “You don’t have to do that. All I needed you to do was load the dishwasher. I can do all this once you leave.”

“I know,” he replied casually, shaking out another shirt and folding it with practiced ease. “But I want to.”

“Seriously,” she insisted, walking closer and trying to take the shirt from his hands. “You’ve done enough already. Let me finish it later.”

“Nope,” Glen said, stepping to the side and holding the shirt just out of her reach.

“Glen!” she exclaimed, laughing as she tried to grab it again.

He grinned, clearly enjoying himself. “What? I’m just being helpful.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” she said, standing on her tiptoes to swipe at the shirt, but he easily lifted it higher.

“Am I?” he teased, his voice light as he dodged her attempts to snatch it.

“Yes!” she said, giggling as she lunged for him. This time, she grabbed his arm in an effort to pull him down, but he was too strong, his stance too steady. Instead, he turned the tables, gently catching her wrist and spinning her around so that her back was to him.

“Careful,” he murmured in her ear, his voice dropping to a playful growl.

Gabby felt her heart skip at the proximity, her laughter trailing off into a breathless chuckle. “You’re impossible.”

“Maybe,” he admitted, releasing her wrist only to scoop her up with ease.

“Glen!” she yelped as he carried her the few steps to the bed, depositing her onto the mattress like she weighed nothing at all. Before she could sit up, he leaned over her, pinning her wrists gently to the bed.

“Say it,” he said, his grin wide and victorious.

“Say what?” she shot back, her voice a mix of mock indignation and delight.

“That I win,” he said, his tone teasing but his eyes locked on hers, warm and full of affection.

Gabby raised a brow, refusing to back down despite the fluttering in her chest. “Never.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “You’re so stubborn.”

“And you’re—” Whatever retort she’d been about to make was lost as he leaned down, capturing her lips in a kiss that was firm yet achingly tender.

Gabby’s resolve melted instantly, her body relaxing beneath him as she kissed him back. His hands released her wrists, one sliding down to cup her cheek while the other braced against the mattress to support his weight.

When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against hers, his breath warm against her lips. “You were saying?” he murmured, his grin returning.

She let out a soft laugh, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. “Fine. You win.”

“That’s what I thought,” he said, his voice low and satisfied. He brushed his lips against hers once more, lingering as if neither of them wanted the moment to end.

Gabby sighed contentedly, her earlier protests forgotten as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down beside her. The laundry could wait. For now, she just wanted to stay wrapped up in him.

Glen’s lips coaxed hers apart, his tongue sliding inside to explore with a slow, deliberate heat that made her heart race.

Gabby let out a soft, involuntary sigh, her hands gripping the fabric of his shirt as if she needed to anchor herself.

Just as she thought she couldn’t handle another second of the delicious pressure of his mouth on hers, Glen pulled back slightly, his breath warm against her damp lips. Before she could protest, he began to brush his lips along her jawline, each soft kiss igniting tiny sparks that raced down her spine.

“Glen…” she whispered, her voice barely audible, trembling with anticipation.

He didn’t answer, at least not right away. Instead, his mouth found the sensitive curve of her neck, his lips warm and soft against her skin. Gabby gasped quietly as his teeth scraped lightly, his tongue soothing the spot before he began to suck gently. It wasn’t hard enough to leave a mark—Glen knew better—but it was enough to send a shiver cascading through her body.

“I missed you so much,” he murmured against her neck, his voice low and husky, filled with a raw honesty that made her chest ache. His hand slid along her side, his touch warm and grounding, yet it only heightened the heat pooling in her stomach. “You have no idea how bad I’ve wanted this. Wanted you.”

His words sent a surge of confidence coursing through Gabby. She tilted her head back to look at him, her cheeks flushed and her eyes shining with need. For a moment, she just stared at him, taking in the way his eyes burned with the same longing that was consuming her.

“Then take me,” she said, her voice soft but steady, laced with a newfound boldness that left Glen momentarily stunned.

His gaze darkened, his jaw tightening as a slow, almost predatory smile spread across his lips. “Careful what you ask for,” he warned, though the teasing lilt in his tone only made her more sure of herself.

“I mean it,” she replied, her fingers threading through his hair and pulling him closer. “I’m yours, Glen. Just… take me.”

Glen’s hands slid under Gabby’s shirt, his palms warm and calloused against her bare skin. He moved slowly, deliberately, as if savoring every second of the moment. His fingers brushed over her ribs, making her shiver before he gently pushed the fabric up. Gabby raised her arms without hesitation, letting him pull the shirt over her head and toss it somewhere behind him.

His gaze dropped to her, and the way his eyes darkened made her stomach flip. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, his voice thick with awe and something deeper, something more primal.

Gabby felt her cheeks flush under his intense stare, but before she could get too self-conscious, Glen reached for the hem of his own shirt, pulling it over his head in one swift motion.

Her breath hitched as her eyes roamed over him, taking in the changes she hadn’t expected. The last time they’d been together, his chest had been smooth, but now, a fine dusting of hair covered his chest and trailed down to his abs, accentuating the defined lines of his body.

Her fingers reached out instinctively, tracing the new texture with curiosity. She let her palm glide over his chest, down to his stomach, where the muscle flexed beneath her touch. The sensation was different, but not unwelcome—it was grounding, a reminder of how much she’d missed him and how time hadn’t dulled their connection.

Glen watched her, his lips quirking into a soft smile. “Like what you see?” he teased, his voice low and edged with amusement.

Gabby glanced up at him, her hand still resting on his chest. She nodded, her lips curving into a shy smile before her confidence surged again. “I do,” she said honestly, tugging him gently back down to her. “Makes you more rugged.”

Their lipsthen met in a kiss that was hungrier this time, fueled by the heat building between them. His hands moved to cradle her face, holding her close as he poured everything he couldn’t say into the kiss.

Gabby’s hands slid up his chest and over his shoulders, her fingers curling around the nape of his neck as she pulled him even closer. The world around them disappeared again, and all that mattered was this—being together, feeling each other, and making up for every second they’d spent apart.

Glen’s lips moved across Gabby’s skin, lingering at her collarbone before he kissed his way back up to her mouth. Each touch of his lips sent shivers down her spine, igniting a fire that had been building since the moment he walked back into her life.

“Gabby,” he murmured, his voice heavy with desire as their foreheads touched. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this—about you.”

She swallowed hard, her heart racing. “Then don’t stop,” she whispered, her voice barely audible but filled with want.

He kissed her again, slow and deliberate, before his hands slid to the waistband of her leggings. Gabby arched into him as he gently tugged them down, his touch careful and reverent. When they joined her shirt on the floor, he leaned back slightly, letting his eyes take her in.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice rough but genuine, making her cheeks flush under his gaze.

Glen reached for the button on his jeans, but as much as he was swept up in the moment, a flicker of restraint passed over his face. He froze, his hands stilling as he took a deep breath.

“Wait,” he said, his voice steady but soft. He leaned back slightly, brushing a hand over her cheek as if to reassure her. “I just… I need to grab something first.”

Gabby blinked, momentarily confused, before realization dawned on her. A faint smile tugged at her lips as she nodded. “Okay,” she said softly, her voice carrying no trace of frustration or impatience.

Glen pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before climbing off the bed, his movements hurried but careful. He retrieved his wallet from his jeans, fumbling with it for a second before pulling out a small foil packet.

When he turned back to her, Gabby couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him—his hair mussed, his chest rising and falling a little faster than usual, his expression a mix of anticipation.

“Sorry,” he said with a sheepish grin as he climbed back onto the bed. “Didn’t mean to kill the mood.”

“You didn’t,” Gabby reassured him, reaching up to pull him down into another kiss. “I’m glad you’re responsible. It’s… kind of hot, actually.”

Glen chuckled and then his hands slid down Gabby’s sides, his touch leaving trails of fire in its wake as he positioned himself between her legs. He shifted his hips slightly and then slowly started to press himself into her.

The moment they connected, both of them let out simultaneous sounds—his a deep groan that rumbled in his chest, hers a soft moan that hitched midway, the sensation a mix of longing and adjustment.

Gabby's fingers clutched his shoulders, her breath catching at the sudden fullness after so much time apart. It wasn’t pain, but the unfamiliarity of it made her tense momentarily.

Glen froze the instant he noticed, his hand immediately finding her cheek. “Hey,” he whispered, his voice low and soothing. His forehead rested against hers as his thumb stroked her skin. “Are you okay?”

She nodded quickly, but her breathing was uneven, her chest rising and falling against his. “I’m fine,” she murmured, her voice barely audible. “I just… It’s been a while.”

His lips pressed a tender kiss to her temple as he stilled, giving her a moment to adjust. “I know, baby. I’ll take my time,” he assured her, his voice filled with nothing but patience and care. “Just tell me what you need.”

Gabby exhaled slowly, her hands relaxing their grip on his shoulders. She looked up at him, her gaze soft but determined. “I need you, Glen.”

His heart swelled at her words, and he brushed a strand of hair away from her face. “I’ll go slow, okay? Just tell me if you need me to stop.”

She nodded, her body gradually relaxing beneath him as his kisses trailed from her lips to her jaw, then down her neck. His hips shifted slightly, rocking gently to let her adjust at her own pace.

Gabby gasped softly, her body responding as the discomfort gave way to the ache of longing she’d been carrying for weeks. Her fingers slid into his hair, holding him close as her legs wrapped loosely around his waist.

“Better?” he asked, his lips brushing against the sensitive spot just below her ear.

“Much better,” she breathed, her voice carrying a newfound confidence.

Glen groaned softly as he felt her starting to clench around him. His movements started growing more confident and intentional. Gabby arched against him, her body responding instinctively to the rhythm he set, every fiber of her being focused on the way he made her feel.

His lips started trailing kisses down her jawline and back to her neck again. Her fingers threaded through his hair, tugging gently as her breaths turned into soft cries, uninhibited and full of longing.

The sounds coming from Gabby spurred Glen on, his pace quickening slightly as he continued to thrust in and out of her. He whispered her name like a prayer, his voice filled with both love and desire, as they reveled in the closeness they’d both been craving for weeks.

Gabby’s hands roamed over his back, her nails digging in lightly as her body moved with his, the tension building until it threatened to spill over. Glen lifted his head, locking eyes with her, and the intensity of his gaze sent a fresh wave of heat through her.

“Let go, Gabby,” he murmured, his voice thick with encouragement. “I’ve got you.”

Their movements grew faster, more desperate, as if neither wanted to waste a second of the precious time they had together. Gabby clung to Glen, her fingers tangled in his hair as her breath hitched, her body arching toward him as the heat coiled tightly inside her, ready to snap.

“Glen,” she gasped, his name breaking from her lips like a plea.

“I’m right here,” he murmured, his voice strained yet full of love, his forehead pressed to hers as they moved together. “Let go for me, baby.”

His words, paired with the way his body seemed to perfectly match hers, sent her over the edge. A cry escaped her, her body trembling beneath him as the waves of release coursed through her, pulling her under in the best way possible.

Glen followed moments later, a low groan rumbling from his chest as he buried his face in the curve of her neck, his body tensing and then shuddering as he found his own release. His arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her against him as they both rode out the moment together, connected in every possible way.

As the tension ebbed, Gabby melted into Glen, her body relaxing completely beneath him. She buried her face in his shoulder, her breaths coming out in soft, uneven pants as she clung to him, savoring the warmth of his body pressed against hers.

Glen shifted slightly, careful not to crush her, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he collapsed onto the bed beside her, one arm still wrapped tightly around her waist as if he couldn’t bear to let her go.

“God, I missed you,” he said, his voice rough and full of sincerity as he nuzzled his face into her hair.

Gabby smiled against his chest, her fingers tracing lazy patterns over his skin as her breathing began to steady. “I missed you, too,” she whispered, her voice soft and full of emotion.

For a moment, neither of them moved, content to simply hold each other in the quiet aftermath. Glen’s thumb stroked soothing circles on her hip, and Gabby felt completely at ease, her worries melting away as she lay in his arms.

“You okay?” Glen asked after a while, his voice gentle as he tilted her chin up to look at her.

Gabby nodded, her green eyes sparkling with both happiness and contentment. “Better than okay,” she replied, her lips curving into a small smile.

Glen chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Good,” he said, his arm tightening around her.

They lay there for a while, wrapped up in the warmth of each other, the quiet stillness of the room making the moment feel even more intimate. Gabby traced her fingers lightly along Glen’s chest, marveling at how real and solid he felt beneath her touch. It was as if her body was trying to memorize every detail of him again after so much time apart.

Glen sighed contentedly, his hand combing gently through her hair. “This is nice,” he murmured, his voice soft, almost sleepy.

“Mmm,” Gabby agreed, her head resting over his heart. “I’ve missed this. Just being able to touch you. Hold you.”

“Me too,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “You have no idea.”

The peaceful quiet lingered until Glen shifted slightly beneath her, sitting up just enough to swing one leg over the side of the bed. Gabby’s eyes opened immediately, her arms tightening around his torso as she pulled him back toward her.

“Where are you going?” she mumbled, her voice still heavy with contentment and just a hint of sleepiness.

Glen chuckled softly, looking down at her. “Relax, I’m just getting a drink,” he teased, reaching for her hands as if to pry them loose, but Gabby clung tighter, nuzzling her face against his side.

“Don’t leave me,” she murmured, her voice muffled against his skin.

His teasing smirk faded, replaced by a look of tenderness that softened his entire expression. Glen turned back toward her, lying down again and pulling her into his arms without hesitation.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, his voice low and reassuring as he kissed the corner of her mouth. “You’re stuck with me, remember?”

Gabby smiled faintly, her face still buried against him. “Good,” she said, her fingers curling into his side as if she wanted to hold on to him forever.

Glen tilted her chin up gently, brushing a thumb across her cheek. “I’m here, baby. I promise.”

The sincerity in his tone melted Gabby’s heart, and she leaned up to kiss him softly, grateful for every second they had together. As they settled back into the quiet, Glen held her even closer, whispering little reassurances in her ear until she fully relaxed against him again.

“Can I go get that drink now?” he teased after a moment, his lips brushing against her hair.

“Not if it means letting go of you,” Gabby replied, her voice playful but honest.

Glen laughed quietly, his chest rumbling beneath her. “Alright, I’ll survive.” 

He pressed another kiss to her forehead, settling back into the bed with her nestled against him. It was moments like this that made the distance and the waiting worth it. Being here with her was everything.

[grlsbstshot]

NEON LIGHTS

Pairing (Original Characters):

Jameson Lucas (Aaron Pierre) x Imani St. Cirie (Megan thee Stallion) Genie Adesanya (Jayme Lawson) x Ellington “EJ” Dupree (Kelvin Harrison Jr.)

Chapters:

Neon Lights Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: while imani processes her lingering pain over jameson’s constant betrayals, jameson reels from her inattention. torn between loyalty to her best friend and processing her own feelings, genie grapples with guilt and anxiety while ej does his best to take care of her. sloane attempts to celebrate the split between jameson and imani but genie intervenes.

Warnings: toxic relationship, them b words! (watch them b words!), explicit terminology, dirty talk (kinda), usage of the n-word (if you white and read it, you owe us $20) -- if we missed anything, let us know!

Word Count: 5.6k Divider Template: @cafekitsune

Notes: 

The following characters are original creations. Their voice claims are Usher / Lucky Daye (Jameson) & Summer Walker / SZA (Imani). We have no affiliation to any of those artists.

1 week after Sloane's party

Jameson leaned against the kitchen counter, his phone clutched in his hand as he stared at the screen in surprise. The image of Christian reflected back at him and he briefly wondered when he even started following that nigga. A quick glance to the left-hand corner told him it was Imani's Instagram account. Imani? With Christian? He couldn't even see that bastard's face but knew he was probably happy as fuck to be with Imani.

Look who came to visit.

The caption made his stomach churn. There was nothing downright explicit or implicated more but the simple fact that she had taken the picture, thought of the caption, and posted it? It made him sick. He knew for a fact she couldn't stand him. After things ended abruptly between Christian and Genie, Imani hadn't seen it for him. Ever. But now they were close enough for him to visit?

Texts left on read. Calls that went straight to voicemail. The silence was deafening.

Jameson immediately left the app and went to his messages, texting her a blitz of...admittedly emotional responses. She still hadn't responded to any of the ones before. He put his phone face down on the counter, trying to rein in his temper. He didn’t need to read the comments to know what they said. Fans were undoubtedly cheering it on. Shit talking about how 'cute' he probably was. Wondering if she had finally replaced him.

What if she had? What if the space where he stood was going to belong to another person? Not just Christian -- anybody? That was enough to turn his stomach.

Jameson's hand clenched into a fist and he turned around, hitting the first thing he saw...which so happened to be EJ's fridge. His fist dented the medal but it hurt him a hell of a lot more than it did the inanimate object.

“Ay, muhfucka! I got that imported from France. Watch that shit. What's your problem?” Jameson glanced up to see EJ rounding the corner, a cup of coffee in his hand. He couldn't quite blame his best friend for being irritated but he was going through some shit.

“Her Instagram.” Jameson muttered, nodding toward his phone. EJ walked over, picked up the phone, and whistled low when he saw the post. “Ain't this a bitch.” He scrolled through the comments briefly before setting the phone down. “They have a ship name too. Chrismani sound stupid tho.”

Jameson glared at him and EJ quickly put the phone down, shrugging. "My bad, man." “What am I supposed to do? She’s not answering my calls. She’s ignoring my texts. And now she’s letting him—” Jameson cut himself off, shaking his head. He didn't know what the fuck the two had going on but either way, he didn't like that shit.

“Letting him what? Exist?” EJ raised an eyebrow. “Because that’s what it looks like to me. You give this nigga way too much power, man. Genie has a history with him, right? You know Imani. She not going too far with him."

Jameson frowned at EJ. He was right but he also knew..."Please. If you saw the girl you loved posted up with somebody else a week after ignoring your calls, you'd be tripping too." He didn't know what to do when it came to Imani. “She told me to choose. I could be friends with Sloane or I could be with her.”

EJ set his coffee down and crossed his arms, leaning against the counter as he stared at his best friend. “Okay? So Sloane's out. Now what?" Jameson began to rub his hand over his fist, rolling his eyes in agitation. "It's not that easy!"

EJ cocked his head, leaning against the counter as he stared at Jameson with wide eyes. "Fuck you mean it's not that easy? Lose a friend, gain a girlfriend. Besides, Genie don't like her and Genie likes everybody. That's how you know something is up with her."

Jameson sighed softly, reaching to snatch his phone off the counter again. EJ had a point. Genie and Sloane had fallen out around the time he and Imani had become serious. He never knew what happened but wanted them both to feel like they could count on him. He didn't want to take sides. His friend vs his sister? He didn't want to decide. "Sloane doesn't have anybody."

"She had a house full of people at that party last week." "None of those people give a shit about her." "And you do?" "Of course I do." "You want that girl?" "No! No. I'm so fucking tired of being accused of that shit. I've known her since she was fifteen. I knew her when she could barely look you in the eyes when she was talking to you. She was lonely as fuck. And she's still lonely. I'm sorry I feel guilty abandoning her."

Jameson saw EJ's face change. From confusion to understanding all in an instant and for some reason -- he hated it. "You keep saying you're 'abandoning' her. You're not, man. She's a grown up." Jameson braced himself, knowing what EJ was going to say next. "She's not you and you are not your father."

He shut it down within a second, shaking his head as he quickly moved out of the kitchen. His father was a forbidden subject. Nobody brought the man up. Not his mother, not the press. Nobody. As far as the world was concerned, it was just Anais and James Lucas against the world. "It's not about that, man. I just don't want to abandon my friend."

"Do you want Imani back?" EJ called out to him, following. "Of course I do." "Let Sloane go. You can't let her think Christian is the only muhfucka that cares about how she feels. Let her go."

Jameson stared at him, the words sinking in.

“You’ve got options,” EJ said, approaching him and patting his hand against Jameson's shoulder. “Write her a song. Send her flowers. Show up at the studio if you have to. You flew to fucking Italy within a minute. Why are you hesitating now? Don't sit there and let this nigga come take what's yours."

Jameson hesitated. “You think that’ll work?”

EJ shrugged. “I think it’s better than...you know. Punching my shit and stalking her on Instagram. You’ve always been a fighter, J. Don’t stop now.”

Jameson nodded slowly, his mind already spinning with ideas. EJ clapped him on the shoulder before heading out of the kitchen, leaving Jameson alone with his thoughts. He unlocked the phone in his hand and went back to Instagram, staring at the picture of Christian on her page. It was bullshit but EJ was right. He couldn't give up on her. He swore he never would.

The texts came through fast, almost as if he didn't have to think about what he was sending. She didn't take any pleasure in his reaction. Not really. But Imani needed something to flip that damn switch in Jameson's mind. He needed to know she wasn't playing. The mention of Genie made her heart hurt though. She texted her before she posted the picture of Christian but there had been no response. There hadn't been a response afterward either and Imani was praying she didn't hold this against her.

She forced herself not to finish reading Jameson's texts. She closed out the messages and went back to Instagram. Cross-legged on her couch, the soft glow of her phone screen illuminating her face in the dim living room, she scrolled through the comments on her post.

The likes were climbing rapidly, as they always did. Thousands of comments flooded in, a mix of excitement, speculation, and blatant nosiness.

"With your bestie ex? Oh, messy Mani." "What about Jameson tho? 👀" "Girl, you’re glowing without him. Keep winning!"

Her thumb hovered over that last comment, her heart clenching. Glowing without him. Was she?

She tossed her phone onto the cushion beside her, leaning back against the couch. The praise and speculation didn’t fill the hollow ache that had been gnawing at her for days. It wasn’t about Christian—he was nothing. She felt absolutely nothing for the man. She got the vibe that he wanted something with her but Imani couldn't tell if he was delusional or just stupid to really think she'd give him the time of day after he was with her best friend. Then again...People thought that's exactly what she was doing.

The post wasn’t about him though. It was about the one person who wasn’t tagged, wasn’t mentioned, but was still present in every corner of her mind.

Jameson.

He kept letting her down. Choosing other people over her. She wouldn't him do it again. She closed her eyes, and the memories came rushing back like a tidal wave.

It was late, and the city lights outside their hotel room window shimmered like stars. She remembered sitting on the edge of the bed, the air thick with tension. Jameson stood in front of her, his hands trembling as he admitted the unthinkable. The night he ruined their relationship. All their problems went back to that one moment. “I slept with her.” he’d said, his voice raw and cracking. “I'm so sorry. Mani, I...I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I was drunk. I swear to god.” Her heart had shattered in that moment, the weight of his words crushing her. She remembered the way her chest had tightened, the disbelief that had turned into anger, then grief. They were done, she knew that. He knew that. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Huh? It's fuck me, huh?!” she’d whispered, her voice trembling. Her entire body shaking. “I trusted you. I gave you everything.” “Mani, please,” he’d begged, dropping to his knees in front of her, reaching for her hands. She snatched them away, trying to get up from the bed but Jameson grasped her by the waist, keeping her trapped. She pushed against his shoulders, twisting out of his grasp as tears filled her eyes. “I'm going to fix it, baby. I swear to god, I'll fix it. I'm sorry.” "Let me go! You can't fix this shit!" "Yes, I can. I can fix it. I'll be better." "Jameson. You just told me you fucked another bitch and you really think I'm going to give you a chance to fix it? We're done. It's over."

She opened her eyes, the memory dissipating like smoke, but the sting remained. She reached for her phone again, scrolling back to her post. The comments about Jameson were multiplying, each one a reminder of the life they’d shared and the pain he’d caused.

She couldn’t go back to that. She wouldn’t.

Her thumb hovered over the delete button for a moment before she pulled her hand away. No, she thought. Let him have to keep seeing it. Let him wonder. Let the tags in the comments be a reminder. “You won't get to the chance to play me again.” she whispered, her voice steady.

With that, she exited the app, her resolve solidifying. If Jameson wanted her back, he’d have to do more than beg. He’d have to prove he was worthy of her trust—and she wasn’t sure she’d ever believe that again.

Imani opened her texts, shooting a message to her engineer and manager. She had written so much shit when she was trying to get over the betrayal Jameson had done -- it was enough for albums. Why not use this pain to start a new chapter in her life? She spent so much of her time worrying about him. It was time to worry about herself. Her music. Her career.

Genie had done her best to put it out of her mind. The picture was exploding all over social media. She'd been tagged in it almost as much as Jameson was and each time made her chest tighten. The knot of anxiety she’d been carrying all day pulling tighter. She promised to meet EJ for lunch and had arrived early, sitting primly and perfectly -- covered in Chanel. Her beautiful dark coils pressed perfectly and swept back in a french curl. She looked much better than she felt.

She had known Imani was going to post it. The text had come hours before, but Genie hadn’t responded. She’d stared at the message, her thumb hovering over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. What could she say? No one knew the whole story of she and Christian. All she told Imani was that it was over. But shouldn't that have been enough? Of all the men to use to make Jameson jealous, why him?

She had complicated feelings about Imani playing with Jameson's feelings as well -- but it wasn't as if she didn't have good reason. He was her brother but he was an idiot sometimes. The image was out in the world and Genie felt that her silence was almost complicity in hurting Jameson. If the gossip was correct, Sloane was a thorn in their relationship and Genie knew a surefire way to get her out.

EJ finally arrived and Genie glanced up to see him making his way to their table -- led by the hostess. A smile curved her lips as the two maintained eye contact. She had never been so enamored with a man before. Even that crush she had on Christian had been bullshit compared to how EJ made her feel. They kept their relationship fairly casual. After their night at Sloane's party, he had been with her every step of the way, reassuring her and being patient with her. He was more than she deserved.

Before he sat down, he came to her side of the table and kissed her softly. It was a brief touch of his lips but the stiffness in her shoulders relaxed. She felt the tightening of her chest relax and for a minute, she felt like she could breathe. "Hi, baby." He told her softly, moving to take his seat as she poured him a glass of wine. His sharp eyes flicking to the phone on the table. “I guess you've seen it.,” he said, nodding toward it. “Jamie isn't too happy either.”

Genie hesitated, then nodded to confirm she saw it. “She said it was to make Jameson jealous, but…” She trailed off, placing the bottle back on the table. "I don't know. It seems so out of character for her. Mani can be petty but she doesn't waste her time with people she doesn't give a fuck about. I don't think she understands what she's getting into."

EJ nodded, lifting his hand to gesture to a waiter for a glass of water. He was totally different from her. He worried about their friends but Genie took it totally to heart. Probably because she loved them both. EJ loved Jameson -- she was sure he hadn't decided how he felt about Imani yet. "I told him to go get his girl back. But I kind of regret it now."

Genie prepared herself to defend Imani. Jameson was her brother but she wasn't ready to absolve him of his sins. Especially when the reason their relationship was so chaotic was because he cheated a year ago. "They love each other so that wasn't a mistake. They just...they can't seem to get it together.," she said softly. “This is going to make everything worse. For her. For Jameson. For everyone.”

EJ leaned back, studying her with a mix of concern. “Did you tell her that?”

“I...I couldn't." Genie sighed, then immediately regretted the admission. “I mean, I wanted to. But what was I supposed to say? ‘Don’t post him because he’s a jerk who’s going to ruin your life?’ I didn't want her to think I was jealous.”

EJ raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you?”

Genie opened her mouth to deny it, but the words caught in her throat. She had been jealous at the party. It had caused a twinge to her heart to see a man she used to want choosing other women over her. Women she loved deeply and respected. He had already taken Sloane. Now Imani? She had been scared. But as she gazed at EJ, she knew he was one of a kind. There wasn't a man like him in the world. How dare she be jealous over a man who wasn't worth it when one who was sat in front of her. “I’m not jealous. Anymore.,” she said finally, reaching across the table to take his hand. “I’m scared. For her. For Jameson. I don’t want to see either of them hurt. Between Sloane and Christian, their relationship could easily snap.”

EJ’s expression softened. He reached out and took her hand, brushing his thumb back and forth across her skin, “You worry too much about other people, Genie. It’s gonna tear you apart if you let it.”

Genie looked down at his hand, the warmth of his touch grounding her. “I can’t help it,” she murmured.

“I know. You got the kind of heart I love. But maybe it’s time you focused on you,” EJ said gently. “Let them figure it out. You’ve got your own life to live, Genie. Your own man to worry about."

"Oh? Are you my man?" "Didn't you cum on my face a few times? I could have sworn last night that you begged me to --"

Genie's eyes went wide as she peered around the restaurant to see if anyone heard him. No one did but her reaction made EJ laugh. She snatched her hand from his, reaching over to slap his wrist.

"Stop it! Don't say that out loud!" "It's true. You did. And you're gonna do it again when we leave here." "Is that all you're going to do?" "For now." "What if I want more?" "I gotta make sure you're ready. So stop babysitting everybody else and let me take care of you for a change." "Yes, sir." "Ooh. Keep that up. I like that."

She smiled faintly, though the knot in her stomach didn’t loosen. For the rest of the lunch, she and EJ didn't mention Jameson and Imani but her gaze kept straying to the phone. Thoughts of Christian and Sloane filtered through her mind. For her last act of babysitting -- she was going to make sure they didn't ruin Imani and Jameson's second chance. If they couldn't get it right, it had to be on their own terms. Not anybody else's.

It was nightfall by the time Genie managed to convince EJ to let her out of bed. He asked her to let everyone figure their shit out but she had to get this out. Once she promised him she'd wash her hands of it after talking to Jameson, he gave her a kiss and let her go. Texting Jameson and telling him it was an emergency was probably dramatic but he shared his location with her. When she pulled up to the recording studio, he was waiting outside -- leaning against his Range Rover.

He watched her curiously as she parked and got out, lifting his hand to press to her shoulder as he escorted her inside -- like an annoyed but worried older brother would. When they were settled in a quiet, private studio, finally he leaned in and nudged her arm. "Talk. You kind of scaring me."

They sat in front of the mixing console, a track playing lowly in the background. Genie could tell it was one of his. She knew his voice anywhere but hadn't heard this song before. She understood a few words here and there but couldn't catch the rhythm of the song. Jamie looked tense, his shoulders stiff. She knew he hadn't been able to shake the thoughts of Imani and Christian from his mind.

“What’s going on?”

Genie hesitated, the weight of what she was about to say pressing down on her. She took a deep breath and shrugged out of her jacket. "There’s a lot you don’t know. Things I’ve been keeping to myself because I didn’t want to -- Well, I wasn't brave enough to do what Imani did. I didn't want to make you choose. But after everything that’s happened -- Imani, that post, the way Christian's been acting -- I can’t stay quiet anymore.”

Jameson’s expression darkened, a storm brewing in his eyes as he grasp her hands in his. “What did he do?”

Genie exhaled shakily, her voice trembling as she began. “Christian and I -- it was a fluke from the beginning. Maybe I was too presumptive but I...I told Sloane how I felt. She encouraged me to pursue him. So I did. I put myself out there." Tears filled her eyes as she thought of the way she had embarrassed herself. The sting of being rejected had faded but losing Sloane -- knowing what she had done? That would never go away.

"I found them together. At your afterparty for the Grammys. They were...Well, they were fucking. In your pool house. I didn't say a word. I turned around and left but I confronted Sloane afterward." Genie took a breath and forced herself to continue. "She didn’t even deny it. Said it was no big deal because...it wasn't like he wanted me anyway. He liked someone else. She knew and didn't tell me. I stopped talking to her that night.”

She felt his grip around her fingers tighten for a moment before they relaxed. The look on his face was...a lot like hers the night Sloane had shown who she was. Devasated. Confused. Disbelief. “She said that to you?”

Genie nodded, her throat tightening as tears fell. “I told Christian I was sorry. Can you believe it? I apologized for not being who he wanted. It was embarrassing. I'm starting to think who he wanted...was Imani.”

Jameson shook his head but all the pieces were falling into place. “That’s why you’ve been avoiding her.”

“Yes,” Genie said, her voice firmer now as she pulled her hands free and wiped her eyes. “And it’s why I think you need to let her go, J. Do what Imani said. Choose her. Sloane only cares about herself and she’s only going to drag you down.”

Jameson leaned back in his seat. “She was your friend. I wouldn't even know her if it wasn't for you. You loved her before anybody else and she...she did that to you.”

“Yes,” Genie said gently. “If anybody knows what it's like to see the best in Sloane, it's me. I always saw it. Until she showed me something else, Jameson. Don't wait until she shows you.”

He looked up at her then, a spark of anger in his eyes. "And Christian?”

Genie’s lips pressed into a thin line. “I don't know. He may really like Imani but she...she deserves better." She may be there to help Jameson fix things but she couldn't bring herself to tell him that Imani was just trying to make him jealous. Loyalty to both kept her conflicted.

They sat in silence for a while so Jameson could process everything. He was distracted, clearly overwhelmed, but she knew what he would do when he spoke next. "I love you, you know?" he told Genie softly, his voice thick with emotion. "You and your dad...you two gave me and Ma everything we needed to feel like a family. You're my sister, Genie. I wouldn't ever let anybody hurt you."

She gave him a faint smile, tears filling her eyes again. For somebody who could write music, he had never been eloquent with her about his feelings. They irritated each other like siblings but she had never truly said it to him. "I love you too." Genie said softly. “I wouldn't ever let anybody hurt you either. That's why Sloane has to get out of our lives. Now.”

Jameson nodded, agreeing without words. “I threw everything away with Imani to be loyal to somebody who didn't deserve it.”

Genie reached out, squeezing his knee. “It may not be over. Try it. Let her know you choose her. Over anything. Even if you guys don't work it out, at least you’ll know you did everything you could. But you can’t move forward if you’re still holding onto people like Sloane.”

He nodded slowly, the weight of her words sinking in. “You’re right,” he said finally.

Genie smiled faintly, relief washing over her. “Good. Now, go clean up your mess.”

He gave her a small, rueful laugh. “I'm not good at that.”

“Get good at it.,” she said, standing and placing a kiss to his forehead...before slapping him on the back of the neck. Jameson flinched but only stared up at her. “Consider this my retirement from worrying about you and Imani. My man told me to stop.”

His brows furrowed as she turned to leave the studio. "What man?!" he called out after her. Genie ignored him and continued on to her car to get back home to EJ.

God had to have a sense of humor. No sooner had he watched Genie zip off in her car, he'd gotten a text from Sloane. A dinner invitation. He had been seconds from texting a denial but he knew this message was better delivered in person -- so he agreed to show up. He spent the entire drive to her place stewing in anger -- pissed at her and himself. He had spent months bringing this girl around Genie, around Imani. Begging them to give her a shot. He hadn't even asked why she and Genie had fallen apart. He was a shit friend and a shit boyfriend.

The elevator doors slid open, and Jameson stepped into the hallway leading to Sloane’s penthouse. His jaw tight and he had no idea how to release his tension. He had no idea what he planned to say. There was so much in his head. All he wanted to do was yell at her. Make her give him a valid reason for the shit she'd been doing. The weight of Genie’s confession bore down on him, and the idea of confronting Sloane left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He knocked twice, his knuckles rapping sharply against the wood. Moments later, the door swung open, and Sloane appeared, her face lighting up like the sun.

“Jamie! Just in time! Dinner is almost done.” she exclaimed, pulling the door wide for him to enter. When he did so, she immediately wrapped her arms around him. “Hi. I missed you.”

Her perfume was light and airy. In another place, another time, he probably would have complimented her on it and told her that he missed her too. And that would have been the wrong thing to do. Becoming disillusioned with Sloane made him notice everything. The way she clung to him, the way she looked up at him with bright eyes, the darkened apartment, the Ella Fitzgerald album -- one of his favorites -- playing softly in the background. He stood stiffly, not hugging her back but it didn't seem to phase her. She took her time hugging him, only pulling back when she deemed it was over.

Jameson’s expression didn’t waver. “We just saw each other last week at the party, Sloane,” he said, his voice cutting sharper than the edge of a blade.

She blinked, momentarily thrown off by his tone. “I know. It still feels like it’s been a minute…”

Jameson stepped further away from her, his movements deliberate. He glanced around, noting the intimate setup of the dining table—a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a single candle flickering softly. The oven lit up with the smell of a dinner that he couldn't quite place. Genie had lit the match but everything was ablaze now. Imani's accusations were crystal clear in his mind. God, she had been right.

“I saw Imani posted Christian on Instagram,” Sloane said, her voice carefully measured. “I’m sorry…you don’t deserve that.”

Jameson’s jaw tightened as he stood with his back with her, trying to get a grasp on his anger. “Imani's mine to worry about.”

“I-I know,” Sloane stammered, moving closer to him. Her voice softened, dripping with concern. “I just want you to know that I’m here for you, Jamie.” She reached out for his hand, her fingers brushing against his. “You can call me if you need anything.”

Jameson didn’t move. His demeanor was rigid, his body language screaming discomfort. He didn’t bother to touch her hand, his gaze fixed on hers with an intensity that made her falter.

“Is everything okay?” Sloane asked, her voice uncertain. She tilted her head, her lips curving into a small, confused smile. “You’re not acting like my Jamie.”

"Did you fuck Christian?" he asked her abruptly, tilting his head to look at her. He saw it for a second. For one second, she looked caught off guard. She looked...exposed. But then the guard went up, her brow furrowed and she gave him a laugh. He could see her about to lie. "Don't. Don't you dare lie to me. I've had enough of that."

She hesitated but then moved away, heading back to the table. She tripped over her own heels and clumsily poured herself a glass of wine. Jameson finally moved, the tension draining from his body the more he confronted her. Sloane lifted the glass to gulp down wine before Jameson continued on. "Genie told me everything." He watched her choke on the liquid, leaning forward as she coughed loudly and took deep breaths. "And I got to thinking -- if she could do that to her best friend...what else could she do?"

She turned wide eyes to him as she continued to try to catch her breath. "Christian was...a mistake." She gasped out, shaking her head. "It was just a night. We were drunk! We got carried away!"

He heard the same mistakes he gave Imani and his stomach churned again, shaking his head. "You destroyed someone who loved you. Better than anyone else. Do you think that excuse works? You hurt the kindest fucking person in the world. And you hurt her because you could. You humiliated her! And you act like nothing happened! You didn't even have the fucking decency to tell her you're sorry!"

Sloane’s lips parted, but no words came out. She looked at him, searching for some sign of forgiveness, but all she could see was disappointment and anger. It's all he had left for her.

“I believed in you. Imani told me to choose and I...I said I wouldn't but I did. I fucking chose you because I thought you were a good person. I thought you needed me. A friend.” Jameson continued, his voice low and steady.

"I do need you!" "You don't need me! You want me. There's a fucking difference, Sloane!"

He heard his phone notifications go off but he ignored it. Even when it continued, he kept going. His gaze didn't leave Sloane's. Her eyes filled with tears as she reached out for him but he sidestepped her hand. She clenched her fingers tightly and sobbed quietly but he didn’t flinch. "Jamie, please. I’m sorry. I never meant—”

“Are you in love with me?” he interrupted, his tone weary. He didn't need the confession but he asked anyway. “If you ever cared about me, tell me the truth.”

Sloane froze before she gave the slightest nod. That nod hit him hard in the gut.

"You want to hear what I feel?" He asked her and watched as she closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head. She knew he didn't love her. She couldn't bear to hear the words. But Jameson figured it out now. A hard lesson to learn but...he had to give them to her. "I love Imani. I love everything about her. I love her so much that I don't know how to live without her. She makes me want to be better. I love the way she loves Genie. I love the way she loves me. And I gave that up twice. I keep hurting her and I did it again. This time...for you. And I regret it."

The more he spoke, the more she cried. "I'm sorry I brought us to this. You can blame me for it. Not Imani. Goodbye, Sloane." He moved towards the door and she followed him. Her phone rang out loud and she hesitated, tears blurring her eyes as she turned back to the kitchen. He didn't stop moving.

As he reached for the handle, she called out, her voice breaking. “Jamie, wait—Please! Don't leave me.”

He paused but didn’t turn around. Guilt grabbed a hold of him again but he pushed it away, knowing that enabling Sloane would only hurt her further...so he opened the door and walked out. It clicked shut behind him and for a moment, he stood there, trying to catch his breath. He heard her scream, throw things across the room, and yell out for him -- but he pretended he didn't.

Jameson walked towards the elevators, the anger he had carried up with him left behind in her place. He fished his phone out of his pocket, pushing the button for the ground floor as he read each text that came through but one caught his attention: a text from EJ that contained a link to Apple Music and an article.

R&B Sensation Imani releases surprise EP, Diary

As he browsed the article, the elevator doors pinged open and an avalanche of notifications from Instagram came in. Even more than when Imani posted the picture of Christian. To make matters worse, he got a shit ton of texts from friends and acquaintances. Half of them were the fucking eye emoji.

"Shit." He muttered to himself.

[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter VIV: Want This Like a Cigarette

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev | diaries coming soon

songs for this chapter: colorblind by movements (acoustic), guilty pleasure by chappell roan, grudges by paramore

chapter tags: yearning, angst, missed opportunities, miscommunication, all the fun stuff! drinking, smoking (weed, cigarettes), adult language and scenarios | fic tags: angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI each chapter will have its own content/trigger warnings

summary: you continue to piece together the mystery of your brother's sentence, learning little by little exactly what happened.

a/n: act I of god knows how many is coming to a close! things are about to get.... well. I don't wanna spoil anything. disregard!

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality @munsonburn3r

DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Please reblog and comment to support the author!

--

You arrive at Steve and Robin’s a few hours before you’re supposed to leave for the concert. You feel the giddiness in your chest, the looming excitement of finally seeing one of your favorite artists live. That feeling quickly fades when you see the van parked outside of your friends’ place.

Inside the apartment, Steve pours four shots, one for each of you, and Eddie who’s lounging on the couch with a beer in his hand. You try not to stare, but it’s difficult to look away from the display; Eddie dressed in leather pants and a cropped t-shirt, his battle vest draped over the arm of the couch. His hair is tied into a low ponytail, revealing a dangly earring swinging against his neck. You clear your throat, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. 

“Bee! Come in! Have a shot, I call it the Pink Pony.” Steve gestures dramatically to the kitchen island.

You laugh, reaching to strip your jacket from your shoulders. “What exactly is a Pink Pony shot?” You humor him, knowing you’ll probably regret it.

“It’s vodka, pink lemonade, and glitter.” Robin deadpans, plucking one of the glasses from the lineup. “Steve found this drinkable glitter shit online. To me it just looks like Edward Cullen pissed in here.” She closes one eye, inspecting the drink, but ultimately decides it’s worth the risk and downs it in one gulp. Her face scrunches as if she’s in pain, and she shakes her head wildly. “Delish.” She gives an extremely unconvincing thumbs up, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. Here,” He hands another glass to you, “I don’t think it’s that bad.”

You gesture the glass to your friends before throwing it down your throat, trying desperately not to wince as it burns in your stomach. “This is…”

“Gasoline.” Eddie adds from the couch. “Jet fuel, even.”

You nod. “He’s right. Steve, where the fuck did you buy this shit?”

“I dunno! I got an ad on TikTok.”

There's a collective groan from the three of you, followed by various exclamations of Steve’s naive purchase. “It might actually be vampire piss!” You joke, earning a giggle from Eddie that makes your stomach flutter. 

“You guys suck.” Steve pouts, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“Steve, baby, you’re good at so many things. Making drinks just isn’t one of them.” Robin gives her roommate a loving pat on the shoulder, and he surrenders. 

“It is not that bad.” He takes his own shot, and fails miserably to hide his disgust. “Fine, I digress. Bee, you wanna make the next round?”

You sigh, approaching your friends in the kitchen, and feeling Eddie rise from the couch behind you. “You know I’m not working tonight, right?”

Robin juts her lip out. “Please, Bee? We can’t suffer through another round of Pink Pony farts.”

Steve gasps, but you throw your head back with laughter. “Alright, fine. If it means saving the lives of my friends, I guess I’ll do it for free. Just this once, though.” You snatch the glitter from Steve’s hand. “None of this shit, though.” And you dump it down the sink while Robin holds Steve back from lunging at you.

Once the damage is done, you turn to where Steve keeps his alcohol, on the rack by the fireplace. You peek through his half empty bottles, returning with a few you can use. “This, friends and Eddie, is the Bazooka Joe.” You place the Irish cream, banana liqueur, and blue curacao on the counter. “It’s supposed to taste like bubblegum.” You eyeball the measurements, filling each shot glass with the liquids, creating a milky teal color. Your friends each take one, throwing them down quickly. Their reactions are mixtures of shock and pleasant surprise.  

Eddie is the next to speak. “I don’t have any drink recipes to offer, but if anyone would like to join me on the balcony for a joint,” He pulls one from behind his ear, “speak now or forever hold your peace.” His eyes meet yours then, and you can’t dismiss it as an accident. He’s asking you to come out.

“I’m good,” Robin says, narrowing her eyes at Eddie. “Don’t like to smoke before going out in public.” 

Steve starts, “Ooh, I’ll—,” but stops short when Robin shoves her elbow into his side. “I’m good,” he coughs, “You guys go ‘head.”

You frown. He knows your rule, but he makes that stupid pouty face at you anyway. “C’mon, Bee. Don’t make me smoke alone.”

Rolling your eyes, you secede. “Fine. I’ll make a one time exception to the rule. On one condition.”

“What's that?”

“No talking.”

—

He lasts all of five minutes. “This is stupid.” You shake your head, refusing to indulge. “That’s fine. I’ll talk. You can keep not-talking.” He hands you the joint, and you take it, inhaling sweet smoke as Eddie continues, disregarding your agreement. “I wanna apologize. For a lot of things, actually. Last night, that wasn’t cool. I shouldn’t have sunk to his level, I don’t know what came over me.” You sense him staring at you, but fight the urge to look at him. Instead you keep your eyes forward, staring into the darkness of your neighborhood. He sighs, and continues, “And I’m so, so sorry about everything with your brother. It wasn’t easy for me either, y'know. Chris and I were best friends. But I couldn’t not listen to him. He did it to save my stupid ass.”

You finally look at him, passing him the joint as you try to read his face. “What do you mean by saving your ass?” The riddles are tired, and you can’t stand the thought of never getting the whole story. 

He inhales before responding, “The cops already had it out for me. Since the second I turned eighteen, they waited for me to screw up. Pretty sure they had a bet on when I’d get arrested.” His tone is light, but you can see the sadness on his face as he recalls it. “I begged Chris not to tell you. He told me he wouldn’t, but only because he wanted me to. He made me promise to take care of you, and I broke that promise. You already hated me so much when you found out I snitched, you couldn’t even look at me. We stopped talking. I didn’t think telling you would change anything.” 

The information sinks into your skin, and you have to focus on a tree in the distance to stop the world around you from spinning. You cycle through the stages of grief on a loop, getting emotional whiplash each time you try to make sense of what Eddie’s just said to you. Finally, you land on anger and stay there. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He shakes his head, bewildered. “What?”

“Eddie, if you had just told me all of this six years ago–”

“I couldn’t, Bee. I wanted more than anything to tell you, but I couldn’t get out of my own way.”

The buzzing in your head is loud, disorienting. “So you ran away instead?”

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed in concentration. “Bee, listen–” 

“Eddie, please. Stop talking.” This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. You slide the screen door open, returning to the warmth of inside, trying not to let your friends read the shock and pain written plainly on your face. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

–

Lining up for concerts used to be one of your favorite hobbies. If a show had general admission, you’d park yourself outside the venue for hours, holding your spot in the hopes that the artist would sweat on you. As you’ve gotten older, you’ve realized it is definitely not worth the hassle of waiting outside all day, sitting on the concrete until your butt falls asleep. When you and your friends arrive at the venue, the doors are already open, and a bouncer is leading you to the VIP lounge, where you give them your names. It earns you a few glares from people in the general admission line.

“Swanky!” Robin exclaims when she enters the green room, which is actually pretty lackluster. The dressing room holds a long fold out table filled full of snacks and drinks, parallel to an old couch with garish print that you’re sure probably hasn't been cleaned in decades. 

“Sure, if that’s how you wanna put it.” The giggling comes from behind you, where Macy is leaning against the doorframe. “Hi, guys! Really glad you could make it.” She approaches you first, pulling you into an unexpected embrace. “Hi, doll! So nice to see you.” Something about her disposition puts you off, her smile looks plastic. 

Macy makes her rounds, greeting each of your friends with a hug before turning to her boyfriend. “Hi, honey.” She stands on her tiptoes to daintily plant a kiss on his cheek, and the grin he wears is wide. You squint at the couple, trying to read them. “Make yourselves at home, we go on in half an hour. See you out there!” She gives a wave in the general direction of the room, and exits back to what you assume is her dressing room.

“This is so cool. Eddie, hold on to this one, yeah?” Steve plucks a cookie from the plate, and Robin gives him an expression of disbelief. “What?” He asks, mouth full. She just shakes her head. 

–

The lights dim a few minutes after eight p.m., and the incoming crowd cheers with excitement. You and your friends are lined up across the barricade, off to one side to avoid the screaming teenagers only here for Chappell. You’re between Eddie and Robin, Steve on Robin’s other side yelling something in her ear you can’t make out. 

A backing track fades in as the band takes the stage, and Macy approaches the mic stand. “Welcome to the show, everyone! We are Statuesque Dolls, from Hawkins, Indiana!” Zoe clicks her drumsticks together, and they start in on what you can only describe as a pop rock power ballad. Macy’s voice is stunning, you have to admit, reaching octaves you could only ever dream of reaching. The audience gets into it, swaying and dancing along to the rhythm, heads nodding to the beat. Some kids in the front are even singing, never missing a word Macy sings, and she points them out with a beaming grin on her face. Though you try, you can’t bring yourself to enjoy the set. The music is right up your alley of taste, and the band’s stage presence is nothing short of incredible, but the feeling of Eddie’s shoulder rubbing against yours as he belts out the words makes your chest tight, and every time Macy smiles at him you feel a throbbing in your temples.

Finally, they end their set, waving to the crowd before stepping off stage. Eddie announces he’s getting a drink, and nudges you. “Come with me?”

You glance at Robin, and swear you see her nod, as if giving you permission. “Okay.” You follow Eddie out of the crowd, over to the bar where a mass of people have gathered to attempt getting a drink.

“That was good, huh?” You ask feebly, trying to make small talk.

Eddie shrugs. “Yeah, they’re really good.” His tone is flat, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“What’s up with you?”

He shakes his head, causing his already frizzy curls to fly around his face. “We uh, broke up. Me and Macy, I mean.”

You can’t help but drop your jaw, quickly shutting it when, even in the dim room, you see him blush with embarrassment. “Oh, shit. Eddie. I’m sorry. Wait, but she kissed you like, an hour ago?”

“Yeah, it was pretty amicable. I’m not, like, hurting over it. The band is going on tour after this, and I have, like, no interest in a long distance relationship.”

For some reason, it pisses you off. “But you still love her?”

“Whoa, Bee. Who said anything about love? I told you, it was pretty casual to begin with. What’s got you freakin’ out?” You think you sense teasing in his voice.

“I’m not freaking out, I guess I’m confused. You don’t think she’s worth the effort?” 

He chuckles lightly as you approach the bar, ordering a cider for yourself and a beer for Eddie. “Of course she is. I’m not, though. She deserves better than that. Does it bother you?” 

You roll your eyes, handing the bartender far too much cash for just two drinks. “You just said it wasn’t that serious, why would you care what I had to say about it?”

“Do you have something to say about it?” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he sounded hopeful.

You pretend to ponder his question, then deadpan, “No. Believe it or not, I don’t give a shit about what you do with your dating life. You might break Steve’s heart if you tell him, though.”

Eddie visibly deflates as you hand him his drink. “Fuck, you’re right. You tell him.”

“No! I’m not doing your dirty work for you, Munson. Time to grow a pair.” With that, you breeze past him, back into the crowd. 

–

“Thank you, Indy, I have been Chappell Roan!” The redhead onstage is a dream, absolutely stunning in a sparkly, pink, and complicated outfit. The fan blows her curly locks around, and you’d been so mesmerized that you’re only now registering the show is almost over. 

She ends with pink Pony Club, causing Robin and Steve to jump around, screaming their voices hoarse, and you join them. By the end, you’re sweating bullets, makeup practically sliding down your face.

When she leaves the stage, you feel the relief of the crowd leaving, their weight that had been pressed to your back for hours finally fading. “That was insane. She’s incredible. Ethereal, really.” Steve is raving as you follow your friends out of the venue and into the cold of the night. “Eddie, man, you gotta go on tour.”

Eddie shrugs shyly. “Yeah, I’m workin’ on it, man.”

“No, man! With Macy, be the tour wife! You’ll get to see her all the time, and Macy! Her band is awesome, I can’t believe–”

“Steve, Macy and I broke up.”

He stops in his tracks. “What? Why? What did you do?”

“Why do you always think I did something?”

“Because you always do something. Remember in high school when you wanted to ask-”

“Okay! Enough. For your information, I didn’t do anything. I just don’t want anything serious right now.”

It barely satisfies Steve, but he backs off with a huffed “Okay, whatever!” You look from the boys to Robin, who’s already staring at you, seemingly studying your reaction.

“What?” You ask her, and she shakes her head. 

“Anyone want food? I’m buying.” Steve offers, earning collective nods and mumbles of affirmation. Eventually, you end up at a late night diner, and Eddie holds the door open for the rest of you. 

–

You arrive home past midnight, eyes and limbs heavy with sleep. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right Bee?” Robin asks. You nod, only just now remembering you promised to help Steve set up his and Robin’s new entertainment center. “Okay, cool. I’ll get us coffee!” Your friends and Eddie all say goodbye, and the car pulls away as you enter your house, foregoing the shower you’re definitely going to need in favor of sleeping longer. 

When you’re finally cozied up in bed, your phone buzzes.

Eddie (block later): Thx for listening. Gn bee.

You decide against a real reply, instead tapping the Thumbs Up reaction, and locking your phone before rolling over. Sleep doesn’t come, though, despite how physically tired you are. Your brain is wired, thoughts racing by too quickly to focus on. Every thought you’ve shoved aside, rushing at you at once. Most of them are questions you can’t answer on your own; Why did Eddie tell you about his breakup? Why is he suddenly being so fucking nice to you? Has he always been this goddamn pretty?

You groan, shoving your face into your pillow to stifle the noise. Unfortunately, that telepathy you share with your brother hasn’t gone away, even after six years apart.

“Hey,” Your bedroom door cracks open to reveal Chris’s forehead, illuminated by the hall light behind him. “Can’t sleep?”

You shake your head before remembering you’re in the dark. “No. You?”

“Nah.” He opens the door fully, stepping into the dark of your room. “How was your night?”

“Really… good?”

“You sound unsure.” He throws himself down on the end of your bed, bouncing you up and down with the mattress. “What happened?”

You pause, unsure of how much Chris needs to know. Ultimately, you know you can’t hide anything from him, even though he’d spent the last six years pretty much conspiring with Eddie against you. “Nothing, really. We went to the show, it was fantastic. I had a really good time.”

“And…?”

“And nothing!”

“Then why are you groaning into your pillow like a child throwing a tantrum?” He snickers, and you whack his arm. “C’mon, something’s bugging you.”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna sound stupid.”

“You’re my little sister, everything you say sounds stupid.”

“Wow, Chris. Thanks, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.” You sit up, tucking your comforter into your waist. “Seriously, you’re gonna think I’m insane.”

“Well, I already do, so you got nothing to lose.”

“It’s something Eddie told me.” He doesn’t speak, waiting for you to continue. “He said you told him to rat you out. That’s not true, is it?”

Your brother sighs, bringing his legs up onto your bed to mirror you. “Would it change anything if I said yes?” You huff, waiting for him to continue. “Bee,” Chris flops onto his stomach. “You ‘hate’ Eddie for something I told him to do. You iced him out because of me. I know you probably don��t want to admit it to yourself, but I am the reason you and Eddie don’t get along. I’m sorry, I didn’t think he’d up and leave you, I never would have expected that from him. He lo–” He stops himself short, then continues instead, “He cares about you so much, kid. I feel awful for ruining that.”

It hurts your brain, hearing Chris confirm that gnawing feeling you’ve had for days, since Eddie blurted out the same truth in a fit of anger. Now it washes over you like a tidal wave, suffocating you under its weight. “It’s not too late to fix things with him, Bee. I know he’s been a little weird lately, but I can understand why. Just, give him a chance to redeem himself. For me?”

“Chris, why the fuck would I do anything for you after you told me all that? You basically just admitted to ruining one of the closest friendships I have ever had, and six fucking years too late. I can’t just pretend that didn’t happen! Eddie fucking left because of it! I thought he’d betrayed you!”

“In all fairness, I told him to tell you, begged him even. I figured he had, until I got out. I had no idea he’d kept that part from you. I told you that.” He argues. 

It’s too much at once, you can feel your skin burning. “Get out, Chris. Please.”

He doesn’t argue, rising from your bed and walking to the door before turning. “I can take the heat, I’ve been getting it from you my whole life, but the kid did nothing wrong. It was stupid of him to run instead of telling you, but he didn’t screw me like you’d thought for so long. Don’t hold that grudge, Bee, it’s not worth it.” Before you can respond, Chris closes the door behind him, leaving you to be swallowed by the dark of your room.

[lanassgirlll]

Love and Pain

Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: A story about love, loss and a second chance.

Warnings: substance abuse, miscarriage, mental health struggles, emotional distress, angst(let me know if I am missing any)

AN: This story may be triggering for some people so please proceed with caution!

You and Bucky had been together for two years. You weren’t an Avenger or anything remotely close to that. You were just a kindergarten teacher, who loved her quiet life. Your days were filled with laughter from your students, your evenings spent with the man you loved, in the cozy apartment you shared.

The two of you had built a life together - a mix of his stoic practicality and your vibrant warmth. The apartment reflected that: his sparse military mementos were softened by your touches - art from your students, soft throw blankets, mismatched photo frames. For a time, it felt perfect.

Until it didn’t.

The change wasn’t sudden, not at first.

It was the subtle shifts in his behavior that you hadn’t wanted to acknowledge. But as time went on, it became impossible to ignore.

Bucky had always been a soldier, in one way or another. You knew that. You understood the demands of his work, the weight of his responsibility as an Avenger. But it wasn’t just the missions themselves that were wearing on you anymore. It was the way they’d taken over his life - and in turn, yours.

At first, it was just a few days at a time. A mission here or there, where he’d be gone for a week or so, and you’d try to fill the gap with work, friends, hobbies, whatever you could. He’d call, send the occasional text, and when he came home, you’d throw yourself into making the most of the time you had together. But now.. now it was different.

He’d been gone for weeks - sometimes over a month - and there had been nothing. No calls. No texts. It was always the same story when he came back: "The mission ran longer than expected," or "We had to stay off the grid." He was always apologetic when he finally resurfaced, but the excuses felt hollow now. It was as if you had become an afterthought in his chaotic life, a person he’d get back to when he had a spare moment.

You tried to be understanding. You knew what he did wasn’t easy. You knew the stakes were high, that lives were on the line, that his work as an Avenger was something he couldn’t just walk away from. But the loneliness was unbearable.

It wasn’t just the silence when he was gone - it was the absence of him when he was home, too. Even when he returned, it felt like he was still somewhere else. He’d walk through the door with that tired look in his eyes, like he hadn’t seen a decent night's sleep in ages, and he’d settle into his old routine: training, reading through mission reports, checking in with the team. He was physically there, but emotionally? You might as well have been alone.

Some days, you felt like you didn’t even know the man you were living with anymore.

You would wait, and wait. For him to come home. For him to talk to you. For him to show up in the way he used to. And when he did return, you'd try to be the same woman you were before - eager to make him dinner, excited to talk about your day, hoping that maybe tonight he’d want to sit down with you, to hold you, to laugh like you used to.

But there was always something in his eyes - a faraway look. An urgency. An undercurrent of somewhere else, someone else. Every time he left again, you felt it. His absence didn't just physically separate you, it chipped away at something inside you, too.

Tonight, Bucky had just returned after being gone for over three weeks. You’d stayed up late, waiting for him. The clock on the wall ticked away, each passing second heavier than the last.

When the door finally opened, you didn’t feel the usual rush of excitement you once had. You didn’t feel the familiar warmth in your chest at the sight of him. Instead, there was just a hollow ache.

“Hey”, he said quietly, dragging his duffel bag inside, looking exhausted as always. His hair was a mess, his eyes tired, and his body language was stiff as he stood there in the doorway.

You didn’t know what you expected. Maybe a hug, maybe even just the smallest hint of affection. Something. Instead, you remained seated on the couch, staring at him, feeling the weight of everything unspoken between you.

“You okay?”, Bucky asked, as if he didn’t already know. He’d been gone for too long. How could he not know?

You swallowed hard, your chest tight. “I’m fine”, you said, but the words felt empty as they left your mouth. You weren't fine, but then again, you hadn’t been in weeks. Maybe months. And the more you tried to convince yourself you were okay, the more you realized how much you were breaking.

“Work been good?”, he asked, as if he was trying to fill the space between you with small talk, with questions that didn’t actually mean anything.

You nodded, the lie slipping so easily off your tongue, you almost believed it yourself. “Yeah, it’s been fine.” You’d barely thought about work these past few weeks. How could you? You couldn’t think of anything but him - him being gone, him being so far away, so unreachable.

There was a long silence, one that stretched between you like a thick, suffocating fog. You couldn’t stand it anymore. You needed him to see you, to hear you, to understand how you were feeling.

“Bucky, this.. this isn’t working”, you said softly, your voice trembling slightly. “You’re gone so much, and when you’re here, you’re not really here. I don’t -" You swallowed again, feeling the lump in your throat, "I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this”.

His eyes softened, either that, or you were so desperate for any kind of affection, that your mind was starting to play tricks on you.

The guard he’d built around himself was still there, so tight it was like trying to break through steel. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -” He paused, shaking his head, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I didn’t realize it was getting to you like this”.

“You didn’t realize?” Your voice cracked, the frustration and hurt seeping through. “Bucky, you’ve been gone for weeks at a time without even telling me where you are. You’re never here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to keep doing this, waiting for you, when you don’t even see me anymore”.

You watched his face change as the words hit him. He didn’t say anything at first, just standing there, looking at you with a mix of guilt and confusion. You could see the internal battle happening in his head, the familiar struggle between his duty and his desire to make things right with you. But the truth was, it was too late for apologies.

“I love you, Bucky”, you whispered, your voice shaking now. “I love you so much, but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being all alone just because you’re too busy saving the world to remember I exist”.

His gaze dropped to the floor, and for a long time, he didn’t say a word. The silence between you felt unbearable, like the air had thickened, each moment stretching out further and further, until neither of you knew what to say or how to fix what had been broken.

One night, a few weeks later, Bucky came home for a fleeting reprieve before another mission. You had stayed up late, as you always did when he was away, waiting for the sound of his key turning in the lock. When he finally walked through the door, exhaustion etched into his features, your heart ached for him and for the distance that seemed to grow wider with each passing mission.

That night, desperation fueled your actions. The words you had been holding back melted away, replaced by a need to feel connected, to remind both of you of the love that had brought you together in the first place. You clung to him, pouring all your loneliness, your love, and your frustration into the embrace. The physical intimacy between you reignited as if it could mend what had been broken. The kisses were fervent, the touches electric, and for a moment, you felt as though the pieces of your fractured relationship had been glued back together, if only temporarily. In those stolen moments, you allowed yourself to believe that things might be okay.

Two weeks after he left again, you found yourself staring at a small plastic stick in your trembling hands, the word pregnant displayed in bold, unmistakable letters. The wave of emotions was overwhelming - shock, fear, disbelief, and above all, a glimmer of hope. You sank to the bathroom floor, clutching the test to your chest, tears streaming down your face. It felt surreal, as though the universe had offered you a fragile lifeline. You whispered to yourself, "This is it. This will bring us closer".

Your first instinct was to call Bucky. You dialed his number with shaking fingers, but it went straight to voicemail. You left a message, your voice shaky but tinged with cautious excitement. "Bucky, it’s me. Please call me when you can. It’s important. I.. I have something to tell you". You sent a few texts as well: "I need to talk to you. It’s good news" and "Please, call me when you’re able".

The days stretched on with no response. The silence grew heavier, more suffocating with each passing hour. You couldn’t sleep, your mind filled with questions and fears. Was he safe? Had something happened to him? Or worse, was he choosing not to reply? You tried to reason with yourself - he was likely on a mission, unreachable, off the grid. But the rationalizations did little to calm the storm within you.

Then, a few weeks after discovering the pregnancy, you were jolted awake in the dead of night by a searing pain in your abdomen. Panic gripped you as you felt the damp warmth spreading beneath you. When you turned on the bedside lamp, the sight of blood pooling between your legs stole the air from your lungs. A choked sob escaped your lips as you scrambled to reach your phone, dialing for emergency services with shaking hands.

The ride to the hospital was a blur, your heart pounding so loudly you could hardly hear your own thoughts. Every bump in the road sent fresh waves of pain coursing through you. By the time you arrived, your vision was clouded by tears. Nurses and doctors swarmed around you, their voices a mix of calm instructions and urgent medical jargon.

"Miss, we need to get you into an exam room immediately", one nurse said, her voice gentle but firm as she helped you onto a stretcher. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but clutch your abdomen and nod weakly.

In the brightly lit examination room, a doctor - a middle-aged woman, with kind eyes and a steady demeanor - introduced herself. "I’m Dr. Reyes. We’re going to do everything we can to figure out what’s going on, okay? I need you to tell me when the pain started".

You struggled to form words through the haze of fear and pain. "I.. woke up. It just started.. and then the blood". Your voice broke, and fresh tears streamed down your face.

Dr. Reyes nodded, her expression compassionate but professional. "I’m going to do an ultrasound now to see what’s happening. Try to stay as still as you can".

The gel was cold against your skin as she moved the probe across your abdomen. You stared at the ceiling, trying to ignore the terrified pounding of your heart. After a few moments, the doctor sighed softly, her brow furrowed.

"I… I’m so sorry", she said gently. "It looks like you’ve experienced a miscarriage. There’s no heartbeat".

The words shattered something inside you. "No", you whispered, shaking your head in disbelief. "No, please, you have to check again. It’s… it’s too soon".

Dr. Reyes placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "I wish I had better news. We’re going to take care of you and make sure you’re stable, but I’m so sorry for your loss".

The rest of the night passed in a haze of procedures and whispered condolences. Nurses came and went, offering quiet reassurances as they tended to you. But no words could reach you. You felt hollow, as if the world had drained you of everything that mattered.

When you were finally discharged, you returned to the apartment, though it no longer felt like home. The silence was deafening, and the weight of your grief pressed down on you like a suffocating blanket. Everywhere you looked, there were traces of him - his jacket draped over a chair, his book left half-read on the coffee table. And now, there was the weight of what could have been. The space that had once been your sanctuary now felt like a tomb, echoing with memories of a life you could no longer bear to face.

You couldn’t stay. The emptiness was too much, the reminders too painful. You packed your belongings with a heavy heart, each item a reminder of what you were leaving behind. The sound of the door closing behind you was final, a punctuation mark on the chapter of your life you had so desperately wanted to salvage. You returned to your old apartment, a place that felt foreign now, and sank into the isolation, leaving behind the life you had fought so hard to build.

Two months passed. Your world had crumbled into ash, leaving nothing but grief and emptiness in its wake. You were consumed by the pain. It was relentless, wrapping around you like a vice. The loss of your baby haunted you, the loneliness gnawed at your spirit, and the anger - anger at Bucky, at yourself, at the universe - was a constant, bitter companion.

At first, you tried to function, clinging to the routines that once brought you joy. But the weight of it all was too much. You quit your job. The sight of children, their laughter, their innocence, was unbearable. You shut out your friends - what few you had left. Their well-meaning concern felt like judgment. You wanted to scream, to tell them they didn’t understand.

And so, you spiraled.

The days blurred together, a haze of pain and self-destruction. You started with wine in the evenings, telling yourself it was to help you sleep, but soon the single glass turned into an entire bottle. Then another. It wasn’t long before mornings became indistinguishable from nights, the alcohol flowing steadily to keep the ache at bay.

But it wasn’t enough. The ache remained, clawing at the edges of your mind, refusing to be silenced. So, you turned to pills - prescriptions left over from past injuries, over-the-counter sleep aids, anything you could get your hands on. At first, it was one or two, just enough to dull the sharp edges of your thoughts. But as the days dragged on, you found yourself reaching for more. A handful here, a few more there, until the numbness became the only thing you could feel.

You stopped eating, the thought of food turning your stomach. A cup of coffee, a piece of toast - that was all you could manage, if anything at all. The sharp pangs of hunger became just another sensation to push down with pills and alcohol. Your body grew weaker, but you didn’t care.

Sleep was elusive, coming in fitful bursts if it came at all. More often, you found yourself staring at the ceiling, your mind racing through memories of what you’d lost. You couldn’t stop replaying the moment in the hospital, the sterile room, the doctor’s solemn expression. It haunted you.

When you caught glimpses of yourself in the mirror, you barely recognized the person staring back. Your once vibrant skin was pale and sallow, your cheeks sunken, your eyes hollow. Your hair hung in limp, unwashed strands around your face. Clothes that once fit snugly now hung loose on your frame, a stark reminder of how much weight you’d lost.

But none of it mattered. You didn’t care. Each time you looked at yourself, all you could see was failure - failure as a partner, as a mother, as a human being. The thought whispered to you like a cruel taunt, feeding your belief that this was your punishment, your penance for losing the baby, for being too weak to hold everything together.

The cycle continued, day after day. You stopped checking the calendar, stopped answering your phone. The world outside faded, replaced by the dim, oppressive cocoon of your apartment. Empty bottles and pill packets littered the counters and floor. Curtains stayed drawn, keeping out the daylight.

Each day, you sank further into the void, certain there was no way out. You weren’t living - you were merely existing, drowning in the belief that this was all you deserved.

Bucky returned two months later, his body weary but his mind sharp with anticipation. The mission had been relentless, every moment filled with danger, leaving no room for distractions. He hadn’t had access to his phone or any way to contact you. But the moment he landed, the mission finally over, he powered on his phone.

The screen lit up with a flood of missed calls, dozens upon dozens of unread messages from you. Panic gripped him like a vice. His heart pounded as he scrolled through the notifications, unable to focus on any one message. The timestamps told a story of desperation - calls in the dead of night, texts sent minutes apart, some marked with “URGENT” in all caps.

He didn’t have the strength to read through them. The fear twisting in his chest made it impossible. Instead, he called you immediately, his fingers trembling as he punched in your number.

“Come on”, he muttered, pressing the phone to his ear. The line rang once, twice, before a cold, automated voice told him the number was no longer in service.

“No. No, no, no”. He tried again, and again, each time greeted by the same response. His breathing quickened, panic rising like a tide.

“Come on, Y/N”, he pleaded under his breath, redialing in disbelief. Each failed attempt left him more frantic. What had happened? Why wasn’t your phone working?

By the time he reached the apartment, his heart was racing, his thoughts spiraling into worst-case scenarios. He fumbled with his keys, cursing under his breath as his shaking hands made it difficult to unlock the door. Finally, he shoved it open and stepped inside.

The silence hit him like a physical blow. The air was stale, carrying a faint, sour odor that hinted at how long the space had been untouched. His boots scuffed against the dusty hardwood floor as he stepped further inside, his voice cracking as he called out, “Y/N? Are you here?”

There was no response.

His eyes darted around the living room. The furniture was coated in a thin layer of dust. A coffee cup sat abandoned on the table, its contents dried to a brown stain. A blanket lay crumpled on the couch, as if you’d tossed it aside and never come back for it.

“Y/N?” he called again, louder this time. His voice echoed eerily in the empty space.

The kitchen was next. The sink was filled with dirty dishes, the counters cluttered with empty bottles and pill packets. His chest tightened as he took it all in. Something was wrong - terribly, horribly wrong.

He moved toward the bedroom, each step heavier than the last. When he pushed the door open, his breath caught in his throat. The sight before him was chaos: clothes strewn across the floor, the bed unmade, sheets tangled and stained. A broken lamp lay on the ground, its shattered pieces scattered across the carpet. A drawer from the dresser had been yanked out and left hanging, its contents spilling onto the floor.

“Jesus”, he whispered, his voice barely audible. He stepped inside, his heart pounding. “Y/N?” His voice cracked, a mix of fear and desperation.

He reached for his phone, his hands shaking so badly he nearly dropped it. He dialed Steve, his voice tight with panic as soon as the call connected. “Steve, it’s Bucky. I can’t find her. She’s not here. The apartment - it’s a mess. I don’t know where she is.”

Steve’s voice was calm but urgent on the other end. “Breathe, Buck. We’ll figure this out. Did you check her old place? Friends? Family?”

“No”, Bucky said, his words tumbling over each other. “I don’t even know where to start. Her phone’s disconnected. There’s dust everywhere. Steve, it looks like she’s been gone for weeks.” His voice cracked on the last word, and he ran a hand through his hair, pacing the room.

“We’ll find her”, Steve reassured him. “Just stay calm. Start with any clues you can find. We’ll get through this.”

Bucky ended the call and looked around the room again, forcing himself to focus. His sharp mind, trained for tracking and reconnaissance, kicked in. He scanned for anything that might lead him to you - a note, an address, anything. His gaze fell on an envelope half-hidden under a pile of clothes. He snatched it up and found a crumpled bill for a hospital visit, dated weeks ago.

A sick feeling churned in his stomach as he read the address. “What the hell happened to you, doll?” he muttered under his breath, clutching the paper tightly. Without wasting another second, he bolted out of the apartment, the hospital record clutched in his hand like a lifeline.

Desperation drove him like a storm, relentless and consuming. Bucky worked through the night, poring over every lead, scouring every clue. He dug through old letters, hospital records, even your discarded social media accounts - anything that might point him to where you’d gone.

It was the hospital record that led him to your old address. A part of him hesitated when he saw the crumpled paper in his hands. Was this really where you would go? Why hadn’t you called anyone else? Guilt gnawed at him with every thought, but there was no time to dwell on it. He had to find you.

When he finally stood outside your apartment door, his heart felt like it might beat out of his chest. What if he was too late? What if something had happened to you? His knuckles rapped against the door, each second of silence dragging like an eternity.

“Please”, he whispered under his breath, his hand tightening into a fist. He knocked again, louder this time.

The sound of shuffling from the other side made his breath hitch. The door creaked open a moment later, and his heart stopped.

You stood there, a shadow of the person he remembered. Your hair was unkempt, matted in places, and your skin was pale and sallow. Dark circles hung under your eyes, which were red-rimmed and hollow. Your frame was gaunt, your clothes hanging loosely on your body as if they belonged to someone else.

Bucky froze, unable to form words, his throat tight with emotion. “Doll..” he breathed, the sound barely audible.

You stared at him for a long moment, and then a bitter laugh escaped your lips, sharp and hollow. “Well, look who finally decided to show up.”

The venom in your tone sliced through him. He stepped forward instinctively, but you raised a trembling hand to stop him, leaning heavily against the doorframe for support.

“What happened?” he asked, his voice soft but trembling with worry. His blue eyes darted over you, taking in every detail - the gauntness of your face, the trembling in your hands, the faint smell of alcohol that clung to you. “Y/N, what’s going on?”

Your laugh turned bitterer, harsher. “What’s going on? You’re asking me that?” You shook your head, your voice breaking. “You happened, Bucky. You left, and everything fell apart. Everything.”

“I didn’t know -” he started, his voice heavy with guilt, but you cut him off.

“Of course, you didn’t” you snapped, stepping back into the dimly lit apartment. “You were too busy saving the world to notice that your own world was crumbling.”

He stepped inside cautiously, his heart shattering as he took in the mess. Empty bottles of alcohol and pill packets were scattered on the coffee table and floor. The air was thick with the stench of neglect, a sour mix of spilled liquor and stale air. The curtains were drawn tightly, plunging the room into shadows despite the afternoon sun.

“Y/N..” His voice trailed off, his throat tightening as he stared at the devastation around him.

“Don’t say my name like that” you muttered, retreating further into the room. “Like you’re surprised. Like you didn’t cause this.”

“Cause this?” he repeated, stepping closer. His voice cracked, his words pleading. “Y/N, I didn’t know. If I’d known, I never -”

“But you didn’t!” you screamed, your voice cracking under the weight of your pain as you spun to face him. Your eyes, hollow yet blazing with anger, locked onto his, and Bucky swore he felt his heart shatter in his chest. “You weren’t here, Bucky. I called. I texted. Over and over, I begged you to come back. Do you know how many times I sat in this apartment, staring at my phone, praying for some sign that you were still out there? And where were you? Fighting someone else’s battles while my entire life was falling apart.”

Your voice cracked on the last word, and Bucky flinched like you’d struck him. He opened his mouth to respond, but the words caught in his throat. The look on your face - the raw betrayal, the fury - left him at a loss.

“I didn’t know” he managed, his voice barely above a whisper. “I -”

“You didn’t know because you didn’t want to know” you spat, taking a step closer, your hands trembling at your sides. “You shut me out, Bucky. You didn’t care enough to see what was happening to me.”

“That’s not true” he said, his voice cracking as he tried to bridge the chasm between you. “I cared - I care! I thought I was doing what was right -”

“Right for who?” you interrupted, your voice venomous. “For you? For the Avengers? Because it sure as hell wasn’t right for me. Do you know what it’s like to wake up every day, and wonder if today is the day I’ll finally get that call, informing me that you're dead? To feel like you’re carrying the weight of everything, completely alone, while the person who promised to love you is nowhere to be found?”

Bucky’s face twisted in anguish, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears. “I didn’t know it was this bad” he murmured, his voice trembling. “If I’d known -”

“But you didn’t” you cut him off, your voice laced with bitterness. “You didn’t, because you weren’t here.”

He stepped toward you, his hands outstretched in a desperate plea. “Y/N, I’m here now. Please, let me -”

“Let you what?” you demanded, your voice rising as months of pent-up anger and heartbreak poured out of you. “Fix it? Make it better? You can’t, Bucky. You can’t just show up now, after everything, and expect me to be okay.”

“Please”, he whispered, his voice breaking. “Just tell me what happened. Let me understand.”

You laughed bitterly, the sound sharp and hollow. “You want to understand? You think you can fix this if I just lay it all out for you?”

His eyes searched yours, his expression raw and desperate. “I need to know” he said, his voice trembling. “I can’t lose you. Please, Y/N.”

You turned away, wrapping your arms around yourself as if trying to hold yourself together. Silence stretched between you, thick and suffocating. He noticed your shallow breathing, the way your shoulders quaked.

“I lost everything” you finally said, your voice so quiet it was almost a whisper. “Piece by piece, it all fell apart.”

Bucky’s chest tightened. “What do you mean?”

You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you walked to the table, picking up an empty pill bottle and turning it over in your hand. “Do you know what it’s like to sit in the dark, wondering if you should just swallow one more and end it? Do you have any idea what it feels like to look at yourself in the mirror and hate the person staring back?”

He took a shaky step forward. “Y/N, don’t -”

“Don’t what?” you snapped, slamming the bottle down. “Don’t tell you the truth? You want to waltz back in here and play the hero, but you don’t even know the damage you left behind.”

His eyes flicked around the room, taking in the empty bottles, the crumpled blankets on the couch, the shattered picture frame on the floor. “I know I’ve hurt you” he said, his voice barely audible. “But I’m here now. Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”

You laughed again, but this time it turned into a sob. “You don’t get it” you said, shaking your head. “It’s not just me. It was never just me.”

He froze, his stomach twisting. “What are you saying?”

You turned to face him, tears streaming down your cheeks. “There was a baby, Bucky” you said, your voice trembling. “Our baby. And I lost it. I woke up in the middle of the night in pain, and there was blood - so much blood. I didn’t know what to do. I was terrified, and I was alone. You weren’t there.”

The words hit him like a freight train, and his knees buckled. He sank to the floor, his head in his hands as he tried to process what you’d just said. “Oh, God” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Oh, God, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

You stared at him, your chest heaving with sobs. “I needed you” you said, your voice cracking. “I needed you more than I’ve ever needed anyone, and you weren’t there.”

He looked up at you, his face streaked with tears, his expression raw and broken. “I failed you” he choked out. “I failed you and our baby. But please, Y/N, don’t shut me out. Let me stay. Let me try to make this right.”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “You can’t make it right. You can’t bring the baby back. You can’t take away this pain.”

“No, I can’t” he said, his voice steady despite the tears. “But I can stay. I can be here for you, for us, if you’ll let me. I know I don’t deserve it, but please, Y/N. Don’t push me away.”

For a long moment, you stared at him, the war inside you raging. Finally, you sank onto the couch, burying your face in your hands. “I don’t know if I can do this”. you whispered.

He moved to sit beside you, his hand hovering over yours before gently taking it. “You don’t have to do it alone” he said softly. “Not anymore.”

And for the first time in months, you felt the faintest flicker of hope, a fragile ember in the darkness that had consumed you. It wasn’t an all-encompassing warmth or an instant relief, it was a hesitant, wavering thing, as if it might vanish at the slightest gust of doubt. But it was there. And after everything, even that small spark felt monumental.

You glanced down at his hand, rough and calloused yet so gentle as it cradled yours. His thumb brushed lightly against your skin, a quiet reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere. For so long, you’d felt untethered, drifting through a sea of pain and loss with no anchor, but now - sitting beside him, his presence steady and unwavering - you felt a faint sense of grounding.

“It’s going to take time” you whispered, your voice shaky but honest. “I don’t know if I can just.. move on. Some days, I don’t even know how to keep going.”

“You don’t have to do it all at once” he said softly, his voice steady despite the emotion that thickened it. “We’ll take it one day at a time. One step at a time. Together.”

The word together hung in the air between you, heavy with meaning. You searched his face, half-expecting to see doubt or hesitation, but his gaze was steady, unwavering. He meant it. He truly meant it.

Tears welled in your eyes again, but this time they weren’t purely born of sorrow. They were a mixture of grief and something softer, something tentative that you hadn’t dared to feel in months - trust. “I’m scared, Bucky”. you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“So am I” he confessed, his voice breaking just slightly. “I’m scared I’ll mess up again. Scared I won’t be enough to help you heal. But I promise you, doll, I’ll do everything I can. I’ll be here - no matter what.”

You nodded, letting his words sink in. They didn’t erase the pain or magically mend the wounds you carried, but they planted a seed of possibility. Maybe healing wasn’t about forgetting the hurt or pretending it didn’t exist. Maybe it was about facing it head-on, step by step, with someone by your side.

As you sat there, his presence anchoring you, the silence stretched but didn’t feel oppressive. It felt shared, almost comforting. His fingers tightened around yours slightly, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you didn’t feel entirely alone.

The road ahead would be long and painful, filled with memories that would resurface and wounds that might never fully close. But for now, you let yourself lean into the moment, into him, and the faint hope that maybe, just maybe, you could find a way forward together. Not whole, not without scars, but together. And for now, that was enough.

[sunshineyuyu]

chained (c. jh)

★ summary: jongho wears a silver chain that you’re obsessed with, and you finally get his attention after some calculated flirting with yunho and some beer pong. ★ pairing: jongho x f!reader (ft. yunho) ★ genre: friends to lovers, college, smut (mdni!) ★ word count: 5.4k ★ tags/warnings: alcohol consumption, vaginal fingering, jongho calls reader babygirl and yunho calls reader princess, features friend!san and previous hookup!yunho, some jealousy/tension, reader also kinda uses yunho… but he’s okay with it, intentionally lowercase ★ notes: beta’d by the bestie @starhwas-bunny. there may or may not be a yunho prequel coming soon hehehehe. also please let me know if i’ve missed any warnings! ★ masterlist | read on ao3

you feel your eyelids droop, heavy from the burden of attempting to stay away in this godforsaken class. it doesn’t help that the seats in this lecture hall are so damn comfortable: plush and tall enough for full back and neck support and a slight give that lets you lean back. you’re one lecture slide away from calling it a day—even though class started just ten minutes ago—when you feel something at your left shoulder.

it’s choi jongho, leaning closer towards you over the armrest dividing your seats. 

hot, attractive choi jongho, with broad shoulders and strong arms and thick thighs. 

you stare adamantly at your laptop screen, at the blank google doc open, at the blinking cursor teasing you for almost falling asleep. you focus on literally anything except jongho’s overwhelming presence at your side–the subtle scent of his musky shampoo, his hot breath fanning over your shoulder.

 the silver chain that he normally hides behind the collar of his shirt hangs out, dangling in a way that has you imagining a different scenario: your string lights illuminating the outline of his body while he presses you into the mattress with his weight, one hand gripping your waist and the other on the headboard, that goddamn silver chain swinging above you while he—

“late night last night?” jongho says, voice low because you’re in class, and deliciously deep. it’s unintentionally sultry, and you find yourself squeezing your thighs together.

“shut up,” you say. “i was finishing an essay.”

jongho hums, and you start to aimlessly copy down the words of the lecture slide. you know that jongho sees right through you; the slides will be posted online later, so there’s no point regurgitating the content.

but you cannot let yourself look at jongho, because you’d probably try to kiss him right then and there.

“weren’t you with yunho?” he says.

“not like that,” you grit out. “we’re just in the same class so he was helping me.”

jongho hums, and he finally returns to the confines of his own seat. you let out a breath of relief. you continue copying down words from the powerpoint, even letting yourself tune into the professor’s voice; at least you’re wide awake now, a nagging feeling of want coursing through you.

you feel a nudge at your other elbow. this presence is comfortable, familiar. it’s san, your first friend at university who is conveniently the same major as you. even though he’s just as big and built as jongho, he’s less intimidating. he’s soft and nice, and he’s showing you a topical meme on his phone from  some computer science joke twitter account.

unfortunately, jongho notices san’s phone turned towards you and leans over again, except this time he’s closer, his shoulder brushing against yours as he tries to make sure he’s also included in the joke.

“i don’t get it,” he says.

“it’s because you’re not actually a computer science major,” you say, rolling your eyes and pushing jongho back into his seat—you exert more effort than you anticipated because of how solid jongho is.

“tsk,” jongho says. “at least i actually understand what’s going on in this class.”

this shuts you up, and you go back to glaring at your laptop and reformatting your bullets because you’ve already lost track of the lecture.

you last another fifteen minutes of attempting to pay attention, before you resign yourself to scrolling through instagram and mentally planning how you can coerce jongho into sharing his immaculately organized notes.

in the final minute of class, the whole class begins unceremoniously packing up, even though the professor is still droning on about greedy algorithms. everyone shuffles out of their row and through the doors at the back of the lecture hall, and jongho falls into step with san, talking about working on the homework tonight. you walk a step behind them, because your legs are shorter and because you want plausible deniability while admiring the shear breadth of jongho’s shoulders.

you leave the lecture hall, and san heads to the academic quad for his next class.

“see you later,” you say to him and jongho, who usually has to work at the library after class, but you notice him following you to the coffeehouse.

“don’t you have work?” you say.

“i changed my schedule,” jongho says. “are you gonna go work at the cafe?”

you nod, and he follows you to the campus coffeehouse where you stand in a fifteen minute line. jongho only gets drip coffee, so you end up ordering something frivolous to make the wait worth it. the two of you squeeze into a small table in the corner, your knees constantly brushing against each other as you read over the essay you wrote last night in a red bull induced haze.

most of it is thankfully salvageable, and the hit of caffeine helps you.

every once in a while, you find yourself glancing over the top of your laptop at jongho. at the lines of concentration etched into his handsome, tanned face. how his hair is getting scruffy and how he pouts when he’s deep in thought.

you’re so hopelessly in love with choi jongho.

at some point, he gets up to get a napkin, and when he returns, he doesn’t sit back down in his own seat. no—instead he hovers behind you, invading your space with one hand on the back of your chair and the other stretched onto the table to keep himself stable.

and that chain—that goddamn silver chain dances over your shoulder again.

“what do you want?” you mumble, skin prickling at the sensation of his proximity.

“this is not bad,” jongho says, eyes skimming over your essay.

“what’s with the tone of surprise?” you retort.

jongho shrugs. “just thought you would’ve been distracted last night.”

you finally chance a look at him, if only to stare at him puzzled until it finally clicks. you shove him off—subconsciously admiring, once again, just how solid he feels.

“for the last time,” you say. “it’s not like that. yunho’s just a friend.”

jongho sits back down, patting the napkin on a part of his laptop.

“good.”

you stop typing and gape at jongho, who’s returned to focusing on his own work. did he- did he just—? your brain works at miles a minute, offering bold assumptions and then instantly refuting them and then rebutting those and then raising new anxieties and then being hopeful and then—

you spend the rest of the time at the coffeehouse overanalyzing one word you’re not even sure you heard.

⋆⋆⋆

the three of you are sat around the coffee table in the living room of jongho and san’s apartment on the west side of campus. their apartment has become the haven for your discrete math class, where jongho blesses you and san with his knowledge in a class he’s taking pass/fail that isn’t even a major requirement for him. their apartment also has plenty of alcohol for when the nights get particularly rough and a good stash of unhealthy stacks.

it’s 1 am now, and the three of you have finished three out of five of the homework questions, eaten five packets of ramen, two sleeves of strawberry pocky, downed six bottles of yakult, and watched an eighteen minute youtube video theorizing that bakugou might become the second user of one for all.

you’d consider this a productive night.

now, you’re perched on the couch, san leaning against your legs while you play with his hair. it’s softer than yours, which frustrates you to no end because you know for a fact that he uses 5-in-1—how are there even five things to incorporate into one bottle?

jongho’s in the kitchen, contemplating a late night—or early morning—beer.

“seonghwa’s throwing a party this weekend,” jongho says, when he returns with another bottle of yakult instead of the beer. the bottle is already small, but it’s positively dwarfed by the size of his hands.

“if seonghwa’s hosting, then yunho will be there,” jongho continues. he looks pointedly at you.

“i thought,” you say, tugging a little on san’s hair and earning a sharp shout of pain, “we established that i don’t. like. yunho.””

“but didn’t you hook up with him?” san says, removing himself from your vindictive fingers and rubbing his scalp. as he sits up to look at you, he instantly regrets bringing up this point as you glare daggers at him. he’s not wrong; you and yunho had hooked up once, at the birthday party of an acquaintance, after seeing jongho chatting up some other pretty girl.

“you guys hooked up?” jongho says, breaking the stare-off you’re having with san for betraying your trust like that.

“it didn’t mean anything,” you say quickly, glancing up at jongho and double-taking at the shadow that’s fallen over his expression. how his jaw looks tensed and his eyes narrowed.

“but you guys hooked up,” he repeats.

“just the one time,” you say, not quite understanding why it feels like you’re being accused of something far worse than a hookup between two consenting and single adults. “we were high and he was just there and it happened.”

“when?” jongho says, continuing the interrogation and maintaining eye contact with you while san switches his attention between the two of you, the instigator but certainly not the mediator of this conversation.

“at yeji’s birthday party,” you say. 

“so that’s why we had to pick you up from the burger place on 8th,” jongho says. “because you were at his place.”

“yeah,” you say. “but it literally does not matter because i don’t like him. we’re just friends, and i’m not gonna hook up with him again.”

jongho stares at you.

“good.”

there it is again. that word, said under his breath. barely there, but enough that you feel a mix of doubt and hope.

you hate it.

“hey!” san says, forcefully cheerful in a way that means he’s trying to change the subject to diffuse the situation. “i found another my hero theory video. the one has 100k views!”

you drop jongho’s gaze first, letting your attention shift to the video san has pulled up on his laptop. “i just don’t think my hero is that deep,” you sigh, trying to ignore the way you can still feel jongho’s eyes on you.

“well, 100 thousand people do,” san sniffs. “including me.”

finally, jongho takes the bait. “how long is it?” he asks.

“thirty minutes!” san says cheerfully.

you and jongho both groan, but dutifully allow san to press play.

over the next thirty minutes, you tune in and out of the overdramatic video as you turn over the previous conversation in your head. you can’t help but read into the situation: clearly jongho is bothered that you’re close with yunho and hooked up with him once. in fact, he’s so bothered that you could even interpret it as being… jealous. 

but if he is, why doesn’t he do anything about it?

you’re half asleep by the time the video ends. san nudges you and gives you an sheepish, apologetic smile.

“it’s late,” he says. “do you want us to drive you home?”

“nah,” you say. “can i just stay over? i’m too tired to move.”

it’s not your first time staying over. your apartment is on the other side of campus, so after most long nights of working you sleep on the couch. san lets you borrow the same old high school volleyball shirt every time, and you slip into it and pull off your jeans. the shirt is thankfully long enough to cover your butt, and the no-pants thing has never been a problem.

until now, when you step out of the bathroom, and jongho’s just entering his bedroom, and he looks at you. you clearly see his eyes roam down your legs before springing back up to meet yours.

“let me get you a pillow and blanket,” he says, voice gruff and deep.

“san’s getting—”

“let me get you a pillow and blanket,” he repeats.

it feels like an olive branch, and you fall asleep surrounded by jongho’s scent. distinctly masculine and musky and oddly soothing.

⋆⋆⋆

when you wake up the next morning, it’s to the sound of whirring from the kitchen. from your spot on the couch, you can vaguely make out the blurry shape of someone in the kitchen. your hand flails around the coffee table, blindly slapping until you find your glasses and shove them onto your face.

it’s jongho, wearing gray sweats and no shirt, leaning against the counter while making coffee. you take the time to admire his back, feeling your cheeks warm as you do. in all honesty, you’re surprised that this is the first time you’ve ever seen him shirtless, and you’d be dumb not to take advantage of it.

you run your eyes over the contours of the muscles in his back, the way they flex and ripple as he crosses and uncrosses his arms.

you yawn and wipe at the sleep still in your eyes. this noise gets to jongho, and he turns around. this action draws a sound out of you, something that comes from the back of your throat, somewhere between a gasp and a groan. because jongho—

jongho’s shirtless, and he’s facing you, his naked torso completely exposed to you. you stare at that goddamn silver chain, nestled against his substantial chest. at the miles and miles of smooth, tanned skin and his fucking arms.

you clap a hand over your mouth and pretend to yawn again.

“you want coffee?” jongho calls.

“yeah,” you manage to say, while laying back onto your back and averting your eyes to the ceiling.

a little while later, you hear jongho pad towards you and you sit back up again. he gives you a mug of coffee and sits down at the opposite end of the couch, leaning back and stretching out his offensively nice upper body. the light from outside peeks in from the blinds of the large balcony windows and bathes his skin in golden stripes.

“is san—?”

“he’s at his 8 am,” jongho says. “when’s your first class again?”

“not until 10:45,” you say. “i’m gonna go home and shower and stuff first.”

“i’ll give you a ride,” jongho says.

you protest politely, mostly because you don’t know if you’ll be able to stand being in such a small space with him, especially when he drives a sleek black mercedes with silky black leather that’s just begging for someone to ruin with some steamy car sex.

but jongho manages to convince you that he needs to drop by the convenience store on the east side of campus anyway, so you find yourself following him down to the apartment parking lot, wearing yesterday’s clothes and hair tied up in a bun to disguise how oily it is.

when he backs out of his spot, he does that thing: wraps his arm around the back of your seat and backs out with one hand. it’s disgustingly attractive.

you sink lower into the heated seat, staring out the window to avoid daydreaming about car sex with jongho.

⋆⋆⋆

you do end up going to seonghwa’s party that friday, after your girlfriends unceremoniously invite themselves into your apartment carrying a huge case of peach soju and a twelve pack of beer.

after a beer and two shots of soju, you’ve changed into a crop top, a silky leopard print skirt, and cute black boots. 

thankfully, seonghwa’s place is only a block away from your apartment, but you and your friends still find a way to get lost on the way there. it takes ten minutes longer than necessary, but you’re finally crashing into the living room of seonghwa’s townhouse.

it’s already packed, but roomy enough that you can move freely without having to slide against other sweaty and drunk people. you break off from your friends to seek out san (and jongho). as you pass the kitchen, you swipe a red solo and a meager amount of whatever mixed drink atrocity they’ve made for the night that you immediately water down. you’re man enough to acknowledge that you’re a lightweight, and you’ll be damned if you end the night puking into a toilet rather than flirting with jongho.

you find san first. he’s lurking near the beer pong table, leaning against the wall and talking to wooyoung. you sneak up on him and he jumps when you give his side a big poke.

“san!” you say, wrapping him a big hug. you’re known to be more affectionate with alcohol in your system. after san clumsily returns your hug to avoid spilling his drink on you, you release him and give wooyoung a similar hug.

“where’s jongho?” you ask, standing on your toes to speak directly into san’s ear.

san points to the other side of the pong table, where you see jongho huddled in a corner with some blonde girl who looks suspiciously like the one from yeji’s birthday party. your reaction is immediate, something joining the alcohol to course through your veins—something fiery and prickling. jealousy, you think numbly.

“we’re playing next,” san says. “me and jongho. you should stay to watch.”

you hum noncommittally, peering at the ids lined up on the pong table and seeing only jongho’s. an idea strikes you, and you give san a peck on the cheek and some excuse about using the bathroom.

you wander back through the crowd of people, occasionally saying hi to people you know as you seek out one individual in particular. you find him on the couch, arm hung lazily on the back, hovering behind some girl. he’s clearly chatting her up, leaning close to her ear and hooded eyes making generous peeks at her cleavage.

you down the rest of your diluted mixed drink and throw yourself at him.

“yunho!” you cry, squeezing into the small space between him and the arm of the couch, meaning you’re basically sitting on him. “thank you so much for helping me with the essay! i definitely would’ve failed without you.” you flutter your eyelashes at him and simper.

the girl scowls visibly, crossing her arms in a way that makes her tits swell, but yunho barely notices—you know he has a sweet spot for you ever since that one night stand, and besides, he could get any girl he wants.

“y/n,” yunho says, shifting his body so that his back is to the girl now. she scoffs and leaves. “you good?”

“i’m great,” you giggle.

“you look good,” yunho says, shamelessly running his eyes over your figure.

“let’s play beer pong,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“you think you’re good for pong?” he says, a little dubiously as you let out a hiccup.

“yeah, because i know you’ll carry,” you say.

“alright, princess,” he says. “let’s go.”

you tumble off of him and pretend to be wobbly on your feet to let him steady you as you walk towards the beer pong table. yunho slips his wallet out of his pocket and slides his id onto the table to get in line to play the winner.

when he notices jongho, yunho lets out a chuckle.

“ah, y/n,” he says, catching your wrist and pulling you into him. “i see what’s happening.”

your cheeks heat up at being caught so quickly. “i’m sorry,” you say sincerely. “he keeps bringing you up and being weird, but now, he’s got that girl with him…”

“don’t worry, princess,” yunho says. “i know how to put on a show.”

jongho and san are playing now, and it looks like they’re winning. that same chick from before is hanging off of his arm, acting like a cheerleader. you catch jongho’s gaze, and the cheery smile he’s wearing slips off immediately when he notices yunho behind you, hands on either side of your waist.

you shiver as jongho gives you a salacious up-down that has you convinced you’ve pressed the right buttons to make something happen tonight. you giggle, tugging your lower lip in between your teeth and leaning a little closer to yunho.

something must snap inside jongho, because he and san end the game with three cups in quick succession. the losers slink off, as you and yunho take their place. yunho reracks the cups and refills them with a thin layer of beer. jongho rolls a ping pong ball towards you. 

“eyes,” he says.

when yours lock onto his, you smirk. he grimaces.

to decide who gets to start, you have to hold eye contact with each other and try to make a cup. whoever makes one first gets to start the actual game. jongho misses, but you don’t, so you and yunho get to go first.

you and yunho go toe to toe with jongho and san, which is surprising considering how little beer pong you play. by the fourth turn, the blonde girl has left, unsatisfied with the lack of attention she’s received from jongho. by the seventh turn, you and yunho have two cups left, and jongho and san have three.

yunho goes, and makes the first. you cheer and jump up to plant a wet kiss on his cheek. he steps behind you, massaging your shoulders theatrically. you close your left eye, lining up your shot. just as you’re about to let go of the ball, you turn around and pull yunho down to your height.

“give me a good luck kiss!”

he smiles into the kiss, which turns out to have a lot more tongue than you’d expected, but yunho is a good kisser so you don’t mind.

“let’s go, princess,” yunho says, slapping your ass as you turn back to the pong table.

jongho’s positively glowering at this point, and you smirk at him as you map out your shot again.

you miss.

you’re not entirely surprised.

yunho’s not even mad, and begins grossly comforting you with arms wrapped around your shoulders and kisses to the crown of your head.

jongho and san make the last two cups easily.

“too bad, princess,” yunho says into your hair. “you were doing so well.”

you pull yourself out of his grasp. “bathroom,” you explain sheepishly. yunho gives you a knowing look and a wink.

you’ve been to seonghwa’s house enough to know about the secret bathroom on the second floor that he doesn’t allow partygoers to use, so you slink up the stairs when million dollar baby starts playing and the crowd swells with renewed enthusiasm.

just as you’re closing the door behind you, a shoe shoots out to stop the action. someone pushes the door back open, and who else but—

jongho.

“i thought you said you didn’t like yunho,” he hisses down at you.

“i need to pee,” you reply, cocking your head to one side and widening your eyes at him.

he considers you for a second before stepping inside the bathroom and locking the door behind him.

“alright,” he says. “pee.”

“i don’t- are you going to watch me?” you say.

“didn’t seem like you minded people seeing you and yunho all wrapped up downstairs,” jongho says, crossing his arms over his chest, and you hate the way his biceps bulge when he does.

“that’s different from- from peeing,” you mumble.

“fine,” jongho says, and he turns around to stare at the bathroom door.

you’re not entirely satisfied, but you really do need to pee, so you pull down your underwear and sit on the toilet.

it’s awkward, but at least the music and noise downstairs mask the sound. you end up peeing for a surprisingly long time, and even jongho feels the need to break the tension with a poorly timed,

“damn, you’re like a waterfall.”

“i’ve had a lot to drink tonight,” you snap.

“you’re that drunk?”

“no—i’m drinking water, too, you bastard,” you say, finally finished. “don’t want to be hungover tomorrow.”

you flush and wash your hands, and then you’re leaning against the sink and saying, “okay, you can turn around.”

he does. “so. yunho?” he prompts again.

“i told you,” you say, staring directly above jongho’s shoulder. “i don’t like him.”

“then why were you all over him?”

“why do you care?” you sneer.

“just answer the question, y/n,” jongho says.

“why are you so obsessed with yunho?” you say. “if you want to fuck him, be my guest! i won’t get in the way.”

this hits a sore spot, because jongho moves quickly, crowding you into the sink in one step.

“it’s not him i want to fuck,” he breathes.

your breath hitches in your throat. you feel your heartbeat in your mouth.

“what do you mean,” you say, mouth unbelievably dry.

“c’mon, y/n,” jongho says, voice husky. he’s looking at you, eyes darting to your lips. “you can figure this out.”

it’s the same phrase he always uses when you’re struggling through a discrete math problem that he’s already solved, but normally he’s nice, barely teasing.

right now, he sounds downright condescending.

so, you snap. you grab him by his chain and tug him down to your height, slot your lips over his and kiss him.

his lips are nice. soft. he tastes like minty chapstick and bitter beer. his tongue slips into your mouth, and suddenly the kiss takes a turn from intense to lewd.

his hands find your waist, his palms burning into the exposed skin between your crop top and your skirt. his thick thigh pushes apart your legs, and your skirt rucks up above your hips. you gasp and break away to tug at the hem, but jongho stops you.

“that’s counter productive,” he whispers.

“okay,” you say. “i’ll be productive then.” and you pull off your crop top to reveal a lacy black bra and pull up your skirt all the way to reveal a matching lacy black thong. you hear jongho inhale, and then a deep chuckle.

“fuck,” he says, drawing out the word. he meets your eyes again. “you’re so fucking hot.”

“that’s you,” you say.

he dives back in to mouth at your pulse point, as his hands slip down to your ass, palming the flesh and leading you to grind against his thigh. he’s flexing, and the fabric of your underwear is thin and you can already feel a wet patch spreading, and the combination along with the friction of the movement has you moaning.

“that’s what i like to hear.”

you hear the muted opening strums of mr.brightside just as jongho’s thumb begins circling your clit over your underwear. you moan into his shoulder and buck against his hand. he continues to work you until the crotch of your panties is practically soaked, and you’re a whining mess. 

“p- please,” you whisper, fingernails digging into his shoulders.

“since you asked so nicely,” he murmurs, and he’s drawing aside the lace and pushing two fingers into you. you throw your head back at the feeling of being filled and stretched; his fingers are long and thick, nothing like your own or any of your previous hook-ups.

“shit, you’re so wet,” he says, pulling back to watch his fingers fucking you. the sound it makes is positively vulgar, and you pant with every motion. at some point, he starts curling his fingers so that they hit that perfect spot in the back and rubbing his thumb across your clit, and you can feel your high building.

“fuck, jongho,” you whine. 

“shit, babygirl, you’re gonna make me cum in my pants if you keep talking like that,” jongho says, smiling into your neck.

“don’t,” you say. “you can- you can- please, fuck me. you can- cum in me.”

jongho stops, only the tips of his fingers teasing at your entrance, and you whimper as your pussy clenches around nothing.

“are you serious?” he asks, as you circle your hips in an attempt at some relief.

“yes,” you hiss.

“fuck, babygirl,” jongho says, taking a step back and a new glint in his eyes.

but just as he puts his hand on the button of his jeans, there’s a sharp rap on the door that makes both of you jump.

“oi! this bathroom is off-limits!” it’s seonghwa, and to be fair, he’s right. 

“give us a second!” jongho calls, wincing at the subtext. you jump off of the bathroom sink, swaying a little with how jittery your legs are. jongho stabilizes you with a hand on your hip and hands you your shirt.

“jongho? is that you?” seonghwa says. “little shit. this is the third time—”

your head snaps up to look at jongho, who’s unlocking the door and pushing it open, effectively interrupting seonghwa’s rant. he nudges you out first, standing behind you, and you suspect it’s to hide the very visible tent in his pants that’s currently pressed against your ass.

“oh,” seonghwa says, as his eyes fall onto you. he takes a second, glancing back and forth between the two of you, running over your mussed hair and flushed cheeks, jongho’s screwed up face and his right hand still grasping your hip, the wrinkles in your skirt and finally—

“oh,” seonghwa repeats. “oh, shit. okay, well congrats and all that—” and here he punches jongho in the shoulder “—but that doesn’t mean you can fuck in my bathroom!” he finishes cheerfully. he steps behind jongho and begins ushering the two of you back down the stairs and through the living room until you’re on his front porch.

“if you’re going to be doing the nasty, i’d rather you do that at home!” seonghwa says, wagging a finger in your face. “make sure you use protection! love you both!” and he shuts the door.

he leaves you and jongho in a stunned silence, both staring at the closed door.

“uh—” jongho tries.

“what did he mean third time?” you say.

“oh,” jongho says, and his big dick energy dissipates as a sheepish expression takes over. “well, i- i might’ve… y’know… a couple times in seonghwa’s bathroom.” he rubs the back of his neck and offers you an apologetic, gummy smile.

“and you got mad at me for fucking yunho once in his own apartment?” you demand, actually stopping your foot to emphasize the clear double standard at play. “while you were off playing merry-go-fuck-around in seonghwa’s private bathroom?”

“i wasn’t mad at you,” jongho says. “i was just—”

“just what?” you say. “slut-shaming me for having consensual sex?”

“no!” jongho says quickly. “i was jealous.”

“oh,” you say. so, you’d been right. he has been jealous of you and yunho. but somehow, you don’t feel vindicated in the slightest. “i mean—that doesn’t make it any better. i’m not some object—”

“i know that,” jongho says, exasperated. “but i just wanted to be… with you.”

“with me?” you say, wrinkling your nose. “you wanted to fuck me, too? like those other girls you had up in seonghwa’s bathroom?”

“no! with you, like—” jongho’s tongue darts out to wet his lower lip “—like as your boyfriend.”

oh.

well, you hadn’t been expecting that. you blink at him once, then twice. you open your mouth and close it again, gaping like a goldfish.

“do you- do you like me?” you ask, voice hoarse.

“well, yeah,” jongho says. “do… you like me?”

“yes!” you nearly shout the word. “yes—i’ve been in lo- i’ve liked you for at least a whole semester!”

“oh,” jongho says, looking as dumbfounded as you feel. “well, me too.”

you look at each other, and then start laughing. you hiccup, and jongho moves closer to you, wrapping his substantial arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his firm, warm chest. your cheek presses against that goddamn silver chain, but it’s no longer a source of stress for you. he peppers the crown of your forehead with kisses, until you finally look up at him and he kisses your lips softly.

“so,” he says, “can i?”

you raise your eyebrows. “can you what?”

“be your boyfriend?”

you pretend to contemplate the question, and when it takes you longer than a few seconds to respond, he knocks his chin against your temple affectionately.

“yeah,” you say, grinning. “yeah, you can be my boyfriend.”

“so then, what do you say about going back to my place and finishing what we started?” he asks.

“yes, please.”

[blkkasa]

Basketball Player! Connie x Instagram Model! Black Oc

Summary: you being his number one biggest fan (🤭)

Contexts/Warnings: a short-long fic, modern, short smut, fluff, famous instagram model black oc (Aya), a well-known basketball player connie springer, etc.

Notes: i made this because i missed writing fics and stuff but keep in mind... this is my first time writing a fic on this app so don't expect it to be perfect in any way. (Im thinking about making a part two but idk. what yall think?)

Word Count: 1232

"GO CONNIE! YOU CAN DO THIS"

He heard his girlfriend's voice and smiled while playing basketball. Everything about her motivates him to do anything, and all thanks to Sasha for introducing them to each other.

Aya and Sasha are sitting at the bleachers watching Connie from a distance but Sasha is having a problem getting no responses or answers from her other best friend.

"Aya, have you heard from Mikasa lately? Like... she isn't answering my calls or texts and here I am asking you where she's at" Sasha gets annoyed at her phone and looks at Aya like she's finna throw a fit at her.

"No girl. I haven't but if you do please remind me because... I need her to help me out picking outfits to wear for my next photoshoot next week."

"Oh don't worry bestie, I'll let you know but thanks for trying though. Ugh! Mikasa needs to answer her phone these days" Sasha whines.

Aya giggles at her friend's complaints about her best friend. She receives a message from her mom telling her to call her little sister at 5:00. "Okay mama..." She rolls her eyes while liking her mom's message and putting her phone back in her purse.

(2 hours later) The game ends and Connie's team wins.

Aya runs up to her boyfriend and gives him the biggest hug yet.

"Baby I'm so proud of you" She kisses him as she says this.

"Thank you mamas. I love you princess." He smiled at her and they both walked to the door by the lockers where the boys can grab their things out of their lockers.

"I'll wait out here while you grab your things."

"Okay beautiful" He winks at her.

Aya was worried about everything, her mom, her friends, and especially her boyfriend. She thought about what would happen tomorrow since it was going to be a long day. She scrolls on her phone looking at her friends' and celebrities' posts, liking them as if she hasn't been active on there since three weeks ago after her last photoshoot. Connie comes back with his things and sneaks behind her to give her a hug and give her neck kisses.

"Hey love, I'm back and I also have a surprise for you at my house" He smirked, loving everything about her.

" Oh? A surprise? For me?" She giggles

"Yes for you mamas" He chuckled and grabbed her by her hand and they walked towards Sasha.

"You're so sweet, you know?" Aya looked at him with glee and kissed him on his cheek.

"Yes princess" He kissed her hand and smiled.

"OH SHIT HEY GUYS" Sasha looked at them and hugged them

"Yo sasha wassup" Connie hugged her back and they did their little signature handshake.

"Hey sash" Aya winked at her

"Oh my gosh. You guys are would never believe what just happened to me"

"What happened?" The couple looked at her confused and interested at what Sasha was going to say.

"So... this beautiful man came up to me and asked me out on a date and bro. When I tell yall, i was screaming. I WAS SCREAMING but not to loud" Sasha was smiling so hard and cheesy about this dream boy.

"Okayyy boo" Aya cheered for her

"Oh shit sasha has finally found her a guy" Connie laughs

"Okay... not too much" Sasha rolled her eyes and smacked him by his arm

"No but in all seriousness he better treat you right or ill beat the shit outta his ass. Like i don't fucking play that shit" Connie huffed.

"Connie, chill... it's fine" Sasha chuckled

Jean and Eren came by them after communicating with the team.

"Wassup guys" The boys came towards them

"Oh shit is that Aya??" Eren looked at her and hugged her

"Heyyyy renn" She hugged him while jokingly slapped the back of his head and ran behind connie from him.

"OW???" He looked so shocked to the point that he didn't even process what just happened to him.

"my bad" Aya laughed

The group walked to the parking lot and said goodbyes to each other.

"Hey babe?"

"Yes mamas?" He turned to look at her while walking to his car.

"So... this morning after you left, my mama called me about something and i wanted to ask you... are you available next week? Because I asked my boss if you would like to participate in my photo shoots?"

"Really??? Yes, pretty girl, anything for you" He kissed her and opened the door for her.

"Yayyy omg" She hugged and got inside his car.

Connie got inside the driver's seat, buckled up, and drove home. He grabs her thighs and squeezed them while focusing on the road. Aya groaned a bit and moved his hand between her legs, letting him do the work. He gets to the red light and looks at her while putting his hand inside her pants. She groaned a bit louder after he rubbed her cunt, looking at her and smirked.

"You like this huh mamas?" He winked at her and rubbed her cunt a little faster.

"Ngh... yes" She moaned.

The light turned green and before he drove home, he drove into an empty parking lot where nobody could see them.

He unbuckled his seatbelt, removing his hand from her beautiful cunt while letting her remove her seatbelt, and got on top of his lap.

They made out for 10 minutes and removed all their clothes off. They switched places and he began to devour her.

"f-fuck! connie.... a-ah!" She gripped his neck for support while her legs were around his shoulders.

"You taste so good mama... shit! i could do this all day with you princess" He kisses and licks her up until she cums. He devoured her for 5 minutes. He kissed her thighs and bit them giving her bite marks.

"c-connie.... oh! you f-feel... s-so good... ngh!" She looks at him with teary eyes while he fingers her.

"ngh... mamas... you look so damn gorgeous crying for me, fuck...!" He fingers her faster until she cums on his face.

"FUCK" She cummed all over him.

They sat back to their seats and heavily breathed for 5 minutes trying to get their breaths back.

"Hey pretty girl, when we get home ill run us some bath water and order pizza. okay?"

"Okay babe." She blew him a kiss.

Connie looked at his phone checking any messages his friends or family sent him. He received 100 messages from the gc, 20 messages from his mom, and 5 messages from Jean.

"Shit. That's alot of fucking messages" He sighed.

Aya giggled at him and put her clothes back on while he did the same. They drove home without saying a word to each other.

(20 minutes later)

"Hey princess, I got your surprise in the room. go look" He carried her inside the house and put her down on the floor to take their jackets and shoes off.

Aya walked to their room and saw flowers, chocolate, candles, two presents, and an envelope on their king sized bed.

"OMG!! FOR ME?? THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY" She hugged so hard and gave him face kisses.

"Yes babe everything is yours, who else would i give it too" He laughed and kissed her face.

"It doesn't matter. all i know is that this stuff is mines" She smiled and closed the door.

@blkkasa

Notes: so if yall want visuals of Aya, Connie, and their fits in this whole fic then let me know cause I got yall. Also, let me know who i should write about next when i upload a poll, okay? thank you babes 💗.

[cloversnstrawberries]

will you do platonic yandere alastor x teen reader for the “refusal/acceptance” prompt? like the teen reader was kidnapped by him and refused to accept him as their father but as time goes on he manipulates them into accepting him.

"refusal / acceptance" plantonic!yandere!alastor & teen!gn!reader ! !

[2024 christmas/holiday event, entry 3]

event post ! | event masterlist !

description; When you fell to hell, you hadn't expected yourself to make it this long. 5 years wasn't very much at all to most sinners, but to the younger ones-- it was a massive milestone, you included. However, your relatively peaceful (as peaceful as it could get in hell...) existence was abruptly interrupted by your own curiosity getting the better of you.

Really, you shouldn't have poked around the house you'd basically been squatting in for the past 5 years like you were, all it could lead to was trouble, and you should've known that.

additional notes; the first part is very focused on the reader themself/the mysteriously unoccupied and very nice house they found after first falling, but i promise you alastor does show up and is very much his usual overprotective self :D

warnings; Kidnapping, vague possessiveness, overprotectiveness, imprisonment, entrapment, Reader is convinced Alastor wants to kill them, brief/vague mentions of violence, murder, torture, etc etc, Reader has trust issues (for a good reason, it is alastor we're talking about), manipulation, and if i missed any others, please let me know!!!

w/c; 5.5k (oh lord)

You aren't sure how long you've been here, isolated with The Radio Demon in some messed-up pocket dimension(?).

In all honesty, you don't know what you did to deserve this. To catch his interest like this, and by god you don't know how the hell you've been keeping it.

Both in life and death, you knew many people like The Radio Demon-- you knew how they operated, the ins and outs of what their main goal was. For some, they prioritized wealth, and others prioritized power above all else--

You've come to the very clear conclusion that the Radio Demon prioritizes his own amusement above anything else in the world. Yes, he most definitely has a thing for power (as all Overlords do, it's practically a requirement for the position), but that's certainly not his intentions with you.

Being a younger sinner wasn't necessarily rare-- it was hard to come by them, yes, but that's because they're usually snuffed out before they could even get a look around the place.

It's a wonder you've made it this far, five years wasn't much in the eyes of Sinners like Alastor, but to you-- it was far beyond how long you'd expected yourself to make it.

The Exterminators that come down each year-- they target the younger ones, the vulnerable. On more than one occasion, people have claimed they heard Adam, the leader of the Exterminators, proclaim "Oh, I just love killing the small ones!"

Not very holy in your humble opinion, but that opinion was not asked of you; so you'd never shared it to anyone but yourself.

Dying at the hands of other sinners wasn't uncommon for the younger ones either, obviously-- which is why you were (understandably) a bit of a hermit.

This is, ironically, how you encountered and was promptly swiped up by no other but the Radio Demon himself. You never interacted with others much, but you'd still heard tales of him-- little snippets of conversations as you did your monthly grocery shopping. One of the few times you'd ever leave your little shoddy cottage on the outskirts of Pentagram City.

You were always a very curious person-- cautious, so you'd keep your curiousity to yourself. Let yourself silently mull over information, but forcing yourself from never seeking any more than you could passively pick up.

But this one time-- God, you really don't know why you did it. Perhaps you were getting bored with it all, with the monotony of your afterlife; always on edge, even in your own 'home'.

This cottage you lived in was abandoned once you found it, just a few days after you'd fallen into hell. It was close to the field you'd woken up in after dying, and you'd curled up on the cold, scratched up wooden floor and slept for the first time in Hell.

Ever since, you'd claimed the place as your own. The first few months-- scratch that, the first few years, you were always on edge, expecting its true owner to come crawling back-- and slaughter you, who by all means was a squatter, simple as that.

You didn't mess with the items much, and you stuck only to where you needed. The bathroom, the kitchen, and the living room-- where you'd set up shop, claiming it as your bedroom.

Only recently had you begun exploring the other rooms. The kitchen was simple, having an icebox and a gas stove; besides the archway was an apron hanging on a hook that read "Don't kiss the cook". You'd snickered when you first noticed it.

You never used it, you only used what you had to-- never rearranging, never touching what wasn't absolutely necessary to your survival. Forever in fear of if-- or when, the original owner returned.

A few months ago, after residing in this cottage for so long, you came to the conclusion that owner probably was never coming back. They'd most like died in an extermination-- when you'd first discovered the house, it already had a light covering of dust over all the objects.

And yet, nothing looked out of place. Nothing stolen, nothing broken. That's what put you on edge, making you certain for so long that the owner would come back and rip you to shreds.

You started small, looking and eventually locating an unassuming hall closet in search of cleaning supplies. You pulled a duster out, a wooden handle with a metal bit attaching the real feathers on the end-- it was ornate, in your eyes, because you were so used to having a duster made of synthetic fibers. It looked quite old, but that fit with the rest of the house.

You pulled it out and began dusting-- once you were done, you were surprised by how much nicer the place looked by then. You turned the feather duster back to its home in the closet, still careful about disturbing anything else.

A few days later, you took a mop and cleaned the floor of the living room and kitchen.

The next day, you cleaned and reorganized the bathroom, but didn't dare throw away anything.

Then, a week later, you finally removed those mounted heads of various cervines, stashing them in a corner of the living room. Out of sight and out of mind, no longer looming over you as you slept on the cushy sofa every night.

Your boldest move by that point-- but after that, it was like a gateway had been opened. No longer so nervous, you moved furniture around; inspected all the cabinets of the bathroom and kitchen, looked through the large oak armoire standing by the entrance.

In it, you found a few coats, an umbrella, a couple hats that hadn't been in style for decades, maybe even nearing a century-- and a few bits and bobs a like. One thing in particular caught your eye-- a coat made in beautiful earth-toned colors, with jewel-red accents as well.

You took it out, and began wearing it around your house.

In the following months, you'd branched out into a few other rooms-- no longer sleeping in the living room, you settled down in what you assume to have been a guest bedroom. It was plain, with a queen-sized mattress held up by a metal wire frame.

It was done up in blues, and it looked like it'd been rampaged through when you first entered. Slate blue covers ripped off the bed, drawers pulled from the dresser-- spilling its contents all over the floor; and a 1950s CRT TV on the floor, a hole running right through the screen and out the casing. The glass of it was still strewn about the floor.

You cleaned it up with careful hands, and took the broken TV to sit beside the mounted stag heads in the corner of the living room.

A few more changes-- you found a storage room, stacked high with neatly folded clothes; hunting gear, and various different items from a bygone eras, along with dozens and dozens of boxes-- most, if not all, were labelled in some shape or form. You placed the TV and mounts in there, not having the heart throw anything away. You'd even kept the glasses pieces, placing them in a Tupperware you'd discovered in a particularly dusty cabinet in the kitchen.

One night, you'd grown bored again-- a terrible thing to be in a place like this, something you both did and did not consider your own. But, you'd ventured into the storage room regardless; careful of the items piled high, you pulled out a random cardboard box from the top of one of the less precarious towers of stuff.

In neat, swooping cursive; it was cryptically labelled "Cherished Belongings". Against your better judgement, you pried the top open--

Inside were a few radios, far more modern than the rest of the cottage appeared to be. Deep gouges were in the side of some, but the marks didn't dig deep enough to make it unable to be used.

A stack of letters you didn't dare touch, feeling like it'd be going too far to look into the private affairs of your home's previous owner-- a couple small boxes, that once you opened revealed little knick knacks that reminded you of your great-grandmother.

She had a farmhouse out in the country, and every time you'd visit her when you were young and she was still alive, you were always so enamored by the little trinkets placed all over a wooden shelf hanging above a corner-countertop.

They were delicate, bisque porcelain and well maintained. Your grandmother had a thing for rabbits and birds, many of those trinkets being one of those two things;

In the box, wrapped oh-so delicately in bubble wrap, were three tiny bisque porcelain deers. By the looks of their make and paint job, you guessed they were from the 50s or 60s.

You set them aside, along with the other boxes like them (though, you didn't open those yet. you wanted to explore the big box in its entirety before delving into the details), and explored the box a little more.

You found a beautiful Cathedral radio, from the brand Philco-- it was at the bottom, obviously an antique model. It appeared to be a custom, made of red wood and brass accents; it was polished to perfection, obviously a treasured item to the person who lived here before you did.

You pulled it out, and then closed up the box. You didn't place it back on its tower, as there was still more you could dig through in the large box; you took your findings to the living room, and set them carefully down on the accent table near the sofa.

You opened the rest of the little boxes, and placed the little figurines all around the kitchen, a few in the living room as well. Once you were satisfied, you sat down on the couch and began fiddling with the radio.

When it buzzed to life, it was already on a station. It was playing... swing music, you think it is-- you weren't too sure, since you weren't incredibly familiar with that era of music.

You tried turning the knob, but it always managed to come back to the same exact station. A second or two of static as you moved the knob, a spark of hope-- before it was quickly dashed as you were redirected right back to the same station.

Still, some music was better than none-- you'd found yourself going stir crazy without much background noise, save for the woods outside and the occasional animal prancing around; so this find was actually quite nice, you'd thought.

Until the song ended abruptly-- you thought it might've been a technical error of some kind, interference on your end. Until, right as the song stopped midway through a word, a talking segment began.

The show host was directly addressing you. And in that moment, you knew that you were done for-- one you heard that voice, everything started to make so, so much sense.

"My oh my, it seems like we have a special listener!" He'd started out, and it felt like there was somebody watching you. Hair on the back of your neck stood immediately, skin crawling as you nearly dropped the radio in fear-- your hands having grown clammy and trembling.

Laughter, cruel and mocking-- as you fumbled with the radio "Ah ah ah, don't drop it! That is quite priceless to me, you little thief."

Your heart dropped to your stomach, and in a moment of haste, you haphazardly tossed the radio onto the sofa-- not doing it too hard, making sure not to damage it in the meanwhile-- and quickly stood, ready to get the hell out of dodge.

Something grabbed at your ankle, and you shrieked-- a shadowed, clawed hand was coming out from the ground. Its nails dug through the cheap material of your pajama pants, and you toppled over; wincing as you landed directly on your tailbone.

That was, by far, the least of your worries at that point of time.

"I apologize, loyal listeners! We'll have to go to intermission, but I assure I will be back-- a new guest in tow, if all goes accordingly!" More laughter-- cackling, before it cut to a soft, almost lulling sort of music.

It did little to calm your nerves-- in fact, it worsened them tenfold, knowing what was to come next. Who was to come next,

A wordless cry escaped you, frantically clawing at the hand around your ankle-- but it was almost... slippery, non-corporeal as well. You couldn't seem to get a grip on it, as it just--

Your fingers just moved right through it, and it tightened its death grip in warning. But you were too afraid by now, the realization that for the past five year you'd been staying in the Radio Demon's house came crashing down on you in an instant.

That's why it hadn't been ransacked already, why it had such nice things, why there was barely anything that exceeded the 1930s technology or aesthetically wise-- the mounted deer heads, the-- the everything!

You'd fallen after he took his 'sabbatical', but you still heard so much of him. In the past few years, the fear of him had died down-- but still,

You knew exactly what he meant by a 'new guest'.

In that moment, you had the stupid thought of I'm too young to die like this, which was ridiculous, because you were already dead. You were in Hell,

and yet, the truth lied in the 'like this' part of that statement. You didn't want to be tortured and eaten on air, you didn't want all of Hell (or at least a very, very large portion of it) tuning in to hear the first 'guest' The Radio Demon got on his show post-disappearance.

Stomach flipping, vision blurring from your tears, your ears rang as your heart worked overtime-- You're sure your face was red and blotchy, tears already making tracks down your cheeks.

Half-hysterical, you were saying "Please, please, please--" in such a desperate tone, directed to no one but yourself. begging yourself to just grab the hand and rip it off, to make it out of this in one piece--

You don't know why you fought so hard, and as you look back, you realize that might've been what made Alastor want to keep you (for the time being). Surely, he adored the fact that you-- teetering on the edge between child and adult, crying and begging-- fighting so hard for a life not worth living.

Really, you had nothing to fight for. No family down here, no friends or even acquaintances, nobody knew you; you were a hermit, one of the younger sinners that people assumed would be snuffed out quickly, and leave behind little to no impact.

Panic surged as you look to your right, a pool of shadows forming-- then, out came the tip of antlers. Then, fluffy ears-- a head, shoulders...

And soon enough, the shadows dissipated. Leaving behind what you assumed, what you were so sure would've been your killer.

He'd opened his mouth-- but as he looked at you, for a reason entirely unknown to you; he buffered. Looking down at you, sobbing and shaking-- lip wobbling, face red and soaked with tears.

You know you looked pathetic at that point.

Maybe that's why he did what he did, why his demeanor entirely changed as he crouched down. Antlers shrinking and the static surrounding him dying down (though never ceasing entirely) as he extended his arms your way. Like he was trying to beckon forward a scared child.

And maybe you did look like one-- but you hardly believe that he genuinely saw you as one.

You know men like Alastor, you know that they could never make room for anyone else in their hearts but themselves-- and a select few people who'd managed to worm their way into his close circle; one way or another.

You were not one of those people.

And yet, he did not harm you.

Even as an indeterminate amount of days, weeks-- maybe even months, passed; he still hasn't harmed you once. He clothes you, he gives you gifts upon gifts (nearly all of which go unopened, shoved in an ever growing pile in the very corner of your room)-- he set you up in a nice room, he feeds you; he claims that you can have all you ever wanted, as long as you ask.

You never did. It was a trap, and you knew it. He was-- was trying to lure you into trusting him. You don't know why he was doing this, maybe he got bored with every horrible act he did being a one-and-done thing.

He was fattening you up like a pig to the slaughter. Making your life all nice and cushy, only to pull the rug from under your feet and reveal what you knew all along.

No matter how many times he said something along the lines of "I won't hurt you, you're safe here, my fawn." or "I view you as my own, a child I never knew I wanted before you came along.", you knew how people like him went about life. People were stepping stones to their goals, his being entertainment; always getting the last laugh.

Once upon a time, you'd heard that his youngest 'guest' he had featured was an 11 year old-- early in his stay in Hell, right as he began to blossom into a fearful Overlord, that child had done something to upset him.

That was, allegedly, back in the mid '30s; and that after that, he never dipped lower than 19 year old. Now, you aren't entirely sure how true that could've been, either part of the claim--

But it was all you had.

You were curious, but not foolish enough to externalize that curiosity. Especially not to like Alastor.

He didn't keep you in the cottage you'd grown accustomed to-- he took you somewhere else. It looked like the cottage; all the way down to the knick-knacks you'd placed all around, right before you made the mistake of touching that radio,

It was always dark out, and when you look out the window-- it was not a forest, but a swamp-- bayou, what-have-you. It was a wetland, with fireflies buzzing around at all times,

There never was a moon, the only light outside came from what seeped out of the faux-cottage and the fireflies that were all over, but that hardly illuminated much.

You didn't leave your 'room'-- the room that looked like the one you'd claimed as your own in the real cottage. He tried coaxing you out of it a lot-- tried making you move rooms, saying he'd set up a room much more suited to your needs.

Every single time, you gave a quiet shake of your head-- that was the furthest those one-sided conversations ever got. Alastor didn't seem too pleased with it, but he laid off it. Didn't force it on you, and he'd then bring you food on a little bed-tray.

Today, you got a little too bold-- or perhaps you just wanted it over with, finally coming to terms with the only way out of here was... well, to force Alastor's hand and get him to snap-- then kill you.

It was obvious he wasn't going to let you go any other way.

You left the room for-- jesus, it must've been the first time you'd done so since the first couple days after you got stuck in this strange other-cottage. The living room didn't look very different.

Noticeably, the trinkets you'd placed before were right where you'd placed them. Not a centimeter out of place.

You tried to ignore it, and sat down on the sofa. You frowned at the Philco Cathedral radio beside you, sitting oh-so-innocently on the accent table near your head.

You glared at it, and while you knew that, realistically speaking, you were entirely to blame for getting in this situation-- not so much the radio, it was still a little cathartic to have something else to blame but yourself.

You turned around and laid on the couch, arms crossed as you pulled your legs to your chest-- back of your head resting against the arm of the couch, you closed your eyes and tried to sleep. Tried to pass time that way,

Predictably, your nerves refused to let that happen. But you retreated into your mind-- and soon enough, you heard Alastor shadow-warp in. You kept your eyes closed, tried to look as peaceful as possible. As vulnerable as you could, open and easy to atta--

A hand, a hand landed on your cheek. it was soft, caring, even. It confused you. Did he know you were awake? Was he trying to pull one over on you as well, because theres no way he'd do this if he didn't know you were witnessing it--

His hand pulled away, and you heard his footsteps pattering away; a door opening, fainter footsteps, the door closing-- and his footsteps getting closer.

Then, you felt something being thrown over you. It wasn't easy, resisting the urge to snap your eyes open-- obviously he knew you were awake, trying to trick you by being all sweet; reaching levels of deception you never thought possible before.

You realized he was trying to deceive you, because you were trying to deceive him-- and any such combination, made your head hurt if you thought about it too long.

Then, he leaned forward; you knew this because his hair brushed against your cheek in the process; both hands went to your face-- cupping your cheeks as he leaned forward and planted a little kiss on your forehead.

He began to tuck you in, and brushed some stray hair from your forehead. In a soft, almost reverent tone, he said "Sweet dreams, little fawn.", then ran his hand through your hair one last time--

Then he was gone. And nothing more came of it-- it was a little embarrassing to admit you'd really fallen asleep, so you reasoned with yourself that you hadn't. Just as you opened your eyes (which you'd totally just been resting, absolutely no sleep having found you. nope, nuh uh), you realized you hadn't been alone.

On the other side of the sofa, pressed as far against the other arm as possible-- almost like it was afraid of startling you if it got too close, was Alastor's weird Shadow creature. The same one that had restrained you that day you'd turned on the radio and spelled your own doom.

"...Hi?" You asked, trying to make yourself sound as groggy as possible (as if you needed to put any conscious effort into that in the first place); trying to sell the impression that'd you'd just been asleep, even though the Shadow probably knew otherwise (you hoped it believed that you hadn't actually fallen asleep, but you're pretty sure it did because nothing felt out of place-- obviously it hadn't attacked you while asleep).

It chirped, jolting up. It's face split in to a jagged grin(?), bright neon blue made up its mouth and eyes as it jumped from its seat and ran to the kitchen. You sat up, blanket falling into your lap; it was a nice, large quilt made up of reds and earth tones. Alastor's signature colors, and if you had to guess, he'd probably pulled it from the storage room.

You'd never been in his bedroom, but you doubt he'd sully a blanket he sleeps with by putting it on you. Even if the point of doing so was to manipulate you or whatever the hell he was playing at.

Around 30 seconds later, Alastor popped his head out of the archway leading into the kitchen. He found you rubbing your eyes with the back of your palm, just now awake enough to realize you smelled something cooking in the kitchen.

Oddly enough, he didn't speak until you pulled your hand from your eye and registered his presence. You looked up at him, eyes wide-- confused. His... his smile,

It looked so real, so genuine. It was soft, something you never thought a man like him could accomplish-- either in a genuine or otherwise manner. It reached his eyes, causing the skin around them to crinkle slightly.

And for a second, just one second, you believed that he actually did care for you.

When he spoke, he did it quietly. He sounded... different, and at first you couldn't quite place your finger on the difference.

"Mornin' fawn! Did you have a good rest?"

First off, he sounded way too... eh, cheery-- actually happy to see you, and like he actually wanted an answer to his question. And secondly, he sounded southern! With how much he talked about being from New Orleans, you should've made the connection that he had an actual accent underneath that transatlantic one; it was so jarring, hearing it gone completely like it was.

You sat in silence for a little bit, Alastor waiting for you to respond to pick up the conversation. Not rushing you, just standing there. God, if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was being patient with you!

In lieu of a verbal response, not trusting yourself to keep the bewilderment out of your voice; you gave a quick nod, and his smile grew by a fraction. He probably thinks he's caught you in his trap--

He gave you one last look, before turning around and heading back into the kitchen. You heard something boiling, and you didn't know what he was making-- it smelled good, though.

"That's good." He called from the kitchen, and it felt so terribly domestic that it had your stomach flipping. Him peacefully cooking, continuing to talk to you even as he did so.

You were beginning to feel nauseous, no longer liking this game he was playing (let's be honest, you never did-- but it was getting too real, blurring too many lines. you knew that, at some point, he would up the ante; but you really wish he hadn't),

(he's beginning to make you believe it, despite you knowing for a fact it was all a dirty trick to get your guard down.)

"I'm so happy you've started to warm up to me!" He started again, and you clenched your hands in the soft, probably expensive, quilt fabric. I'm not warming up to you, your mind supplied-- trying desperately to grasp at straws, and hide away from the fact that you were, you were starting to really believe his lies.

You suppose that it was inevitable, that being isolated with just Alastor (and his shadows, but they were extensions of him-- they didn't count much as another person) for long would get to your head.

You'd like to think that you were mature, hardened by living in Hell for 5 years beforehand-- but deep down, you knew you weren't. That little showcase you'd done when you two first met, cowering on the ground as you sobbed and shuddered and fruitlessly clawed at your restraint was more than enough to prove that.

After everything, you were still a child. You were still that scared little kid, who thinks they're so much better than all their classmates because one of your teachers said "You're so mature for your age!" as an offhanded comment.

There was some clanging and clattering coming from the kitchen, a cabinet opening and something being taken out. A pan, probably; it sounded like a large, flat metal thing. A baking sheet, actually; not just a regular pan.

What on earth was he making in there? A dangerous, curious part of you wondered. Urging you to stand up and go look, but you keep firmly rooted to you spot on the couch. You wouldn't walk right into a trap, you refused to be that unknowing fly that didn't see the spider-web right in front of their face.

You heard (what you assumed to be) the baking pan placed on the tile countertop, a drawer being pulled out, metal utensils clinking together--

"You know," He started off, a bit more rustling came from the kitchen before he continued his though. "I was starting to worry that you never would," He paused, and if you didn't know any better-- you'd say he sounded sad.

But as soon as it showed up, it was thrown right out the window-- Alastor exchanging what seemed to be genuine emotion for the upbeat, almost saccharine sweet tone he'd held moments prior.

"But, I'm so glad you decided to prove me wrong! It was torturous for me, my child refusing to so much as look my direction when not forced to..." Alastor trailed off, leaving you in relative silence-- the conversation went dead for a while, as you process his words.

When you realized what he'd called you, panic flooded you. He'd never called you that before-- or maybe he has, and you just tuned it out. He said so many things, all of which you had a very hard time believing were based in even an ounce of truth;

Maybe it was the tone that finally brought your attention to the title-- his child. You were not his child! You were some random squatter who just so happened to be a minor! You weren't a kid, and you certainly weren't his kid--!

"I'm not-" You tried to say, spine stiffening, hair on the back of your neck standing straight up at the realization. But, in true Alastor fashion, he quickly cut you off and diverted your attention-- out of the blue asking "Could you come and help, my dear? I think it's about time you start learning how to cook."

okay, rude, you thought. Alastor couldn't have known you for more than a few months; you're sure you would've realized if a year had passed (you hope you would, anyways), and never once had he asked if you could cook.

You had half a mind to try and push how far his patience could go, refuse to stand-- to follow his 'invitation' (demand) for you come help him in the kitchen.

A much more rational part of you screamed at you that no, no-- don't do that, you absolute idiot!

You wish you could say you didn't give in to him, that you stayed right where you were and tested how far he'd go with his promise of not hurting you. That would, however, be a lie.

It was almost like you were on autopilot, pulling the blanket off and making a half-assed effort to fold it before setting it on the couch. You felt a little numb as your feet seemed to move on their own, eventually leading you to the kitchen.

One hand of the edge of the entryway, you stood cautiously at the very edge between the living room's hardwood floor and the kitchen's black-and-white checkered tiles.

You're not sure how long you stood there-- not long at all, you think. Alastor turned around, offering a small, horribly soft smile and quietly beckoning you.

You took one step in, and Alastor laughed at that; he lifted his arm, gesturing to his right. Obviously, he was instructing you to come stand by his side.

It was out of fear, you told yourself-- that when you'd followed his orders, standing next to him; you didn't fight at all when he laid his arm over your shoulders, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

"Isn't this kind of impractical?" You asked, mumbling under your breath-- you were halfway between wanting Alastor to hear and not wanting him to, but of course, the former was the outcome.

Alastor's hand had settled on top of your head, absent-mindedly smoothing down your hair as his other hand whisked eggs into... something. He laughed, amused. Not entertained, not the joy he so obviously took in toying with others-

He sounded endeared.

That spelled the beginning of the end for you-- for your staunch position on the idea that Alastor was just messing with you, playing the long game and what not.

The realization of how... real he was being, with his actual accent out in the open... it opened the floodgates, and your grip started slipping on the idea that Alastor wanted to do you harm.

He was patient, more patient than you'd ever think he could be (from you'd heard previously, of course), he cares about your boundaries (somewhat, but that's way, way more than you ever thought you'd get with him), he fed you, he provided you with clothes and books-- claiming he'd give you anything if you'd just ask.

Your head felt full of cotton, ears ringing slightly-- drowning out Alastor response of "Mm, i suppose it is. But is it such a crime for a father to want to have his darling child close?"

Numbly, you shook your head, only have vaguely registered what he said. He gave a pleased hum, and went back to his cooking.

Really, he wasn't teaching you anything-- just doing his own thing while he kept you glued to his side.

You found yourself not minding it too much. You couldn't find it in yourself to care that you didn't mind it, actually.

[missrosegold]

always the fool with the slowest heart

I apologize for not being able to post all three chapters of ATF on here! All three parts are very long, and tumblr just can't support the length of them, so I've finally made a post to link all of them together! (I would break them up into parts like I did with and if my body should fade, i'll trust you with my soul, but it would be multiple parts for each chapter, and I try not to spam the desktops of my mutuals lol)

Once again: thank you to @candycandy00 for editing this monster for me, and thank you to miss. @kimkaelyn for making this beautiful banner for me! I love it so much!

Title: always the fool with the slowest heart

Rating: Explicit. 

Paring: Merman!Dabi/Touya Todoroki/(Female) Reader

Synopsis: After a few particularly grueling years of working nonstop, you broke down and burnt yourself out. To escape the rat-race, you left for the island where your aunt and uncle live; back to the beach house you spent your summers at as a child. As you slowly work on building yourself back up, you start to realize some things on the island are not quite as you remember them to be.

Little did you know, there was a surprise waiting you in the shallows when you returned to the island nearly a decade after you last left.

Part I can be found here

Part II can be found here

Part III can be found here

All of my stories are cross posted on A03. If the formatting on here is hard to follow, feel free to check out my A03 account!

*See A03 for more descriptive tags/warnings. It's explicit for a reason.

[deaconsleatherpants]

The Sharpest Lives (Are the Deadliest to Lead)

Summary: Shelton's increasingly stringent rules for your safety had always struck you as infuriatingly excessive, but after a rival gang kidnaps you in an attempt to get to him, you're left anxious and traumatized from the experience. This, of course, is something Shelton can't let stand.

Fandom: Mega Time Squad (2018)

Rating: M (hurt/comfort: descriptions of a kidnapping, mildly explicit blood/violence, and descriptions of panic attacks)

Relationship: Shelton/Reader

Chapters: 1/1

Link

Reading List - ( @brughy @strange-birdy-me @gigabats @papyblook )

[acourtofquestions]

Kingdom of Ash Chapter 57

Chapter Highlights (most of the chapter is the highlight lol)

An hour before dawn, the keep and two armies beyond it were stirring.

Rowan had barely slept, and instead lain awake beside Aelin, listening to her breathing.

That the rest of them slumbered soundly was testament to their exhaustion, though Lorcan had not found them again. Rowan was willing to bet it was by choice.

It was not fear or anticipation of battle that had kept Rowan up—no, he'd slept well enough during other wars. But rather the fact that his mind would not stop looping him from thought to thought to thought.

He'd seen the numbers camped outside.

Valg, human men loyal to Erawan, some fell beasts, yet nothing like the ilken or the

Wyrdhounds, or even the witches.

Aelin could wipe them away before the sun had fully risen. A few blasts of her power, and that army would be gone.

Yet she had not presented it as an option in their planning last night.

He'd seen the hope shining in the eyes of the people in the keep, the awe of the children as she'd passed. The Fire-Bringer, they'd whispered. Aelin of the Wildfire.

How soon would that awe and hope crumble today when not a spark of that fire was unleashed? How soon would the men's fear turn rank when the Queen of Terrasen did not wipe away Morath's legions?

He hadn't been able to ask her. Had told himself to, had roared at himself to ask these past few weeks, when even their training hadn't summoned an ember.

But he couldn't bring himself to demand why she wouldn't or couldn't use her power, why they had seen or felt nothing of it after those initial few days of freedom. Couldn't ask what Maeve and Cairn had done to possibly make her fear or hate her magic enough that she didn't touch it.

Worry and dread gnawing at him, Rowan slipped from the room, the din of preparations greeting him the moment he entered the hall. A heartbeat later, the door opened behind him, and steps fell into sync with his own, along with a familiar, wicked scent.

"They burned her."

Rowan glanced sidelong at Fenrys. "What?" But Fenrys nodded to a passing healer.

"Cairn—and Maeve, through her orders."

"Why are you telling me this?" Fenrys, blood oath or no, what he'd done for Aelin or no, was not privy to these matters. No, it was between him and his mate, and no one else.

Fenrys threw him a grin that didn't meet his eyes. "You were staring at her half the night. I could see it on your face. You're all thinking it—why doesn't she just burn the enemy to hell?" Rowan aimed for the washing station down the hall. A few soldiers and healers stood along the metal trough, scrubbing their faces to shake the sleep or nerves.

Fenrys said, "He put her in those metal gauntlets. And one time, he heated them over an open brazier. There…" He stumbled for words, and Rowan could barely breathe. "It took the healers two weeks to fix what he did to her hands and wrists. And when she woke up, there was nothing but healed skin. She couldn't tell what had been done and what was a nightmare." Rowan reached for one of the ewers that some of the children refilled every few moments and dumped it over his head. Icy water bit into his skin, drowning out the roaring in his ears.

"Cairn did many things like that." Fenrys took up a ewer himself, and splashed some into his hands before rubbing them over his face.

Rowan's hands shook as he watched the water funnel toward the basin set beneath the trough.

"Your claiming marks, though." Fenrys wiped his face again. "No matter what they did to her, they remained. Longer than any other scar, they stayed."

Yet her neck had been smooth when he'd found her.

Reading that thought, Fenrys said, "The last time they healed her, right before she escaped. That's when they vanished. When Maeve told her that you had gone to Terrasen."

The words hit like a blow. When she had lost hope that he was coming for her. Even the greatest healers in the world hadn't been able to take that from her until then.

Rowan wiped his face on the arm of his jacket. "Why are you telling me this?" he repeated.

Fenrys rose from the trough, drying his face with the same lack of ceremony. "So you can stop wondering what happened. Focus on something else today." The warrior kept pace beside him as they headed for where they'd been told a meager breakfast would be laid out.

"And let her come to you when she's ready."

"She's my mate," Rowan growled. "You think I don't know that?" Fenrys could shove his snout into someone else's business.

Fenrys held up his hands. "You can be brutal, when you want something."

"I'd never force her to tell me anything she wasn't ready to say." It had been their bargain from the start. Part of why he'd fallen in love with her.

He should have known then, during those days in Mistward, when he found himself sharing parts of himself, his history, that he'd never told anyone. When he found himself needing to tell her, in fragments and pieces, yes, but he'd wanted her to know. And Aelin had wanted to hear it. All of it.

They discovered Aelin and Elide already at the buffet table, grim-faced as they plucked up pieces of bread and cheese and dried fruit. No sign of Gavriel or Lorcan.

Rowan came up behind his mate and pressed a kiss to her neck. Right to where his new claiming marks lay.

She hummed, and offered him a bite of the bread she'd already dug into while gathering the rest of her food. He obliged, the bread thick and hearty, then said, "You were asleep when I left a few minutes ago, yet you somehow beat me to the breakfast table." Another kiss to her neck. "Why am I not surprised?"

Elide laughed beside Aelin, piling food onto her own plate. Aelin only elbowed him as he fell into line beside her.

The four of them ate quickly, refilled their waterskins at the fountain in an interior courtyard, and set about finding armor. There was little on the upper levels that was fit for wearing, so they descended into the keep, deeper and deeper, until they came across a locked room.

"Should we, or is it rude?" Aelin mused, peering at the wooden door.

Rowan sent a spear of his wind aiming for the lock and splintered it apart. "Looks like it was already open when we got here," he said mildly.

Aelin gave him a wicked grin, and Fenrys pulled a torch off its bracket in the narrow stone hallway to illuminate the room beyond.

"Well, now we know why the rest of the keep is a piece of shit," Aelin said, surveying the trove. "He's kept all the gold and fun things down here."

Indeed, his mate's idea of fun things was the same as Rowan's: armor and swords, spears and ancient maces.

"He couldn't have distributed this?" Elide frowned at the racks of swords and daggers.

"It's all heirlooms," said Fenrys, approaching one such rack and studying the hilt of a sword. "Ancient, but still good. Really good," he added, pulling a blade from its sheath.

He glanced at Rowan. "This was forged by an Asterion blacksmith."

"From a different age," Rowan mused, marveling at the flawless blade, its impeccable condition. "When Fae were not so feared."

"Are we just going to take it? Without even Chaol's permission?" Elide chewed on her lip.

Aelin snickered. "Let's consider ourselves swords-for-hire. And as such, we have fees that need to be paid." She hefted a round, golden shield, its edges beautifully engraved with a motif of waves. Also Asterion-made, judging by the craftsmanship. Likely for the Lord of Anielle— the Lord of the Silver Lake. "So, we'll take what we're owed for today's battle, and spare His Lordship the task of having to come down here himself."

Gods, he loved her.

Fenrys winked at Elide. "I won't tell if you don't, Lady."

Elide blushed, then waved them onward. "Collect your earnings, then."

Rowan did. He and Fenrys found armor that could fit them—in certain areas. They had to forgo the entire suit, but took pieces to enforce their shoulders, forearms, and shins. Rowan had just finished strapping greaves on his legs when Fenrys said, "We should bring some of this up for Lorcan and Gavriel."

Indeed they should. Rowan eyed other pieces, and began collecting extra daggers and blades, then sections from another suit that might fit Lorcan, Fenrys doing the same for Gavriel.

"You must charge a great deal for your services," Elide muttered. Even while the Lady of Perranth tied a few daggers to her own belt.

"I need some way to pay for my expensive tastes, don't I?" Aelin drawled, weighing a dagger in her hands.

But she hadn't donned any armor yet, and when Rowan gave her an inquiring glance, Aelin jerked her chin toward him. "Head upstairs-track down Lorcan and Gavriel. I'll find you soon."

Her face was unreadable for once. Perhaps she wanted a moment alone before battle. And when Rowan tried to find any words in her eyes, Aelin turned toward the shield she'd claimed. As if contemplating it.

So Rowan and Fenrys headed upstairs, Elide helping to haul their stolen gear. No one stopped them. Not with the sky turning to gray, and soldiers rushing to their positions on the battlements.

Rowan and Fenrys didn't have far to go.

They'd be stationed by the gates at the lower level, where the battering rams might come flying through if Morath got desperate enough.

On the level above them, Chaol sat astride his magnificent black horse, the mare's breath curling from her nostrils. Rowan lifted a hand in greeting, and Chaol saluted back before gazing toward the enemy army.

The khaganate would make the first maneuver, the initial push to get Morath moving.

"I always forget how much I hate this part," Fenrys muttered. "The waiting before it begins."

Rowan grunted his agreement.

Gavriel prowled up to them, Lorcan a dark storm behind him. Rowan wordlessly handed the latter the armor he'd gathered. "Courtesy of the Lord of Anielle." Lorcan gave him a look that said he knew Rowan was full of shit, but began efficiently donning the armor, Gavriel doing the same.

Whether the soldiers around them marked that armor, whether Chaol recognized it, no one said a word.

"Ready now," Chaol called out to the men of his keep.

This would be it—today. Whether that hope remained or fractured.

Already, the awakening sky revealed two siege towers being hauled toward them. Right to the wall. Far closer than Rowan had last noted when flying overhead last night. Morath, it seemed, had not been sleeping, either.

The ruks would remain back with their own army, driving Morath to the keep. To be picked off here, one by one.

"We have minutes until that first tower makes contact with the wall," Gavriel observed. A scan of the battlements, the soldiers atop them, revealed no sign of Aelin. Lorcan indeed muttered, "Someone better tell her to stop primping and get here." Rowan snarled in warning.

"Archers!" Chaol's bellow rang out. Behind them, down the battlements, bows groaned. Fenrys unslung the bow across his back and nocked an arrow into place.

Rowan kept his own bow strapped across his back, the quiver untouched, Gavriel and Lorcan doing the same. No need to waste them on a few soldiers when their aim might be needed with far worse targets later in the day.

But one of them had to be noted felling soldiers. For whatever it would do to rally their spirits. And Fenrys, as fine an archer as Rowan, he'd admit, would do just fine.

Rowan followed the line of Fenrys's arrowhead to where he'd marked one of the bearers of a siege ladder. "Make it impressive," he muttered.

"Mind your own business," Fenrys muttered back, tracking his target with the tip of his arrow as he awaited Chaol's order.

If Aelin didn't arrive within another moment, he'd have to leave the battlements to find her. What in hell had held her up?

Lorcan drew his ancient blade, which Rowan had witnessed felling soldiers in kingdoms far from here, in wars far longer than this one. "They'll head for the gates when that siege tower docks," Lorcan said, glancing from the battlements to the gate a level below, the small bastion of men in front of it. Trees had been felled to prop up the metal doors, but should a solid enough group of enemy soldiers swarm it, they might get those supports and the heavy locks down within minutes. And open the gates to the hordes beyond

"We don't let them get that far," Rowan said, eyeing up the massive tower lumbering closer. Soldiers teemed behind it, waiting to scale its interior. "Chaol brought the tower down the other day without our help. It can happen again."

"Volley!" Chaol's roar echoed off the stones, and arrows sang.

Like a swarm of locusts, they swept upon the soldiers marching below. Fenrys's arrow found its mark with lethal precision.

Within a heartbeat, another was on its tail. A second soldier at the siege ladder fell.

Where the hell was Aelin—

Morath didn't halt. Marched right over the soldiers who fell on their front lines.

The pulse of human fear down the battlements rippled against his skin. The cadre would have to strike fast, and strike well, to shake it away.

The siege tower lumbered closer. One glance from Rowan had him and his friends moving toward the spot it would now undeniably strike upon the battlements. Close enough to the stairs down to the gate. Morath had chosen the location well.

Some of the soldiers they passed were praying, a shuddering push of words into the frigid morning air.

Lorcan said to one of them, "Save your breath for the battle, not the gods."

Rowan shot him a look, but the man, gaping at Lorcan, quieted.

Chaol ordered another volley, and arrows flew, Fenrys firing as he walked. As if he were barely bothered.

Still, the whispered prayers continued down the line, swords shaking along with them.

Up by Chaol, the soldiers held firm, faces solid.

But here, on this level of the battlements ... those faces were pale. Wide-eyed.

"Someone better say something inspiring," Fenrys said through gritted teeth, firing another arrow. "Or these men are going to piss themselves in a minute."

For a minute was all they had left, as the first siege tower inched closer.

"You've got the pretty face," Lorcan retorted. "You'd do a better job of it."

"It's too late for speeches," Rowan cut in before Fenrys could reply. "Better to show them what we can do."

Rowan steadied his breathing, readying his magic to rip through Valg lungs. He'd fell a few with his blades first. To show how easily it could be done, that Morath was desperate and victory would be near. The magic would come later.

The siege tower groaned as it slowed to a stop.

Just as the wall under them shuddered at its impact, Fenrys whispered, "Holy gods."

Not at the bridge that snapped down, soldiers teeming in the dark depths inside.

But at who emerged from the keep archway behind them. What emerged.

Rowan didn't know where to look. At the soldiers pouring out of the siege tower, leaping onto the battlements, or at Aelin.

At the Queen of Terrasen.

She'd found armor below the keep. Beautiful, pale gold armor that gleamed like a summer dawn. Holding back her braided hair, a diadem lay flush against her head. Not a diadem, but a piece of armor. Part of some ancient set for a lady long since buried.

A crown for war, a crown to wear into battle. A crown to lead armies.

There was no fear on her face, no doubt, as Aelin hefted her shield, flipping Goldryn in her hand once before the first of Morath's soldiers was upon her.

A swift, upward strike cleaved the Morath grunt from navel to chin. His black blood sprayed, but she was already moving, flowing like a stream around a rock.

Rowan launched into movement, his blades finding their marks, but still he watched her.

Aelin slammed her shield against an oncoming warrior, Goldryn slicing through another before she plunged the blade into the soldier she'd deflected.

She did it again, and again.

All while heading toward that siege tower. Unhindered. Unleashed.

A call went down the line. The queen has come.

Soldiers waiting their turn whirled toward them. Aelin took on three Valg soldiers and left them dying on the stones.

She planted her line before the gaping maw of that siege tower, right in the path of those teeming hordes. Every moment of the training she'd done on the ship here, on the road, every new blister and callus—all to rebuild herself for this.

The queen has come.

Goldryn unfaltering, her shield an extension of her arm, Aelin glowed like the sun that now broke over the khagan's army as she engaged each soldier that hurtled her way.

Five, ten—she moved and moved and moved, ducking and swiping, shoving and flipping, black blood spraying, her face the portrait of grim, unbreaking will.

"The queen!" the men shouted. "To the queen!"

And as Rowan fought his way closer, as that cry went down the battlements and Anielle men ran to aid her, he realized that Aelin did not need an ounce of flame to inspire men to follow.

That she had been waiting, yanking at the bit, to show them what she, without magic, without any godly power, might do.

He'd never seen such a glorious sight. In every land, every battle, he had never seen anything as glorious as Aelin before the throat of the siege tower, holding the line.

Dawn breaking around them, Rowan loosed a battle cry and tore into Morath.

This first battle would set the tone.

It would set the tone, and send a message.

Not to Morath.

Impress us, Hasar had said.

So she would. So she'd picked the golden armor and her battle-crown. And waited until dawn, until that siege tower slammed into the battlements, before unleashing herself.

To keep the men here from breaking, to wipe away the fear festering in their eyes.

To convince the khaganate royals of what she might do, what she could do. Not a threat, but a reminder.

She was no helpless princess. She had never been.

Goldryn sang with each swipe, her mind as cool and sharp as the blade while she assessed each enemy soldier, their weapons, and took them down accordingly. She dimly knew that Rowan fought at her side, Gavriel and Fenrys battling near her left flank.

But she was keenly aware of the mortal men who leaped into the fray with cries of defiance.

They'd made it this far. They would survive today, too. And the khaganate royals would know it.

Galloping hooves drowned out the battle, and then Chaol was there, sword flashing, driving into the unending tide that rushed from the tower's entrance.

"To Lord Chaol! To the queen!"

How far they both were from Rifthold.

From the assassin and the captain.

Arrows rose from the army beyond the wall, but a wave of icy wind snapped them into splinters before they could find any marks. A dark blur plunged past, and then Lorcan was at the siege tower's mouth, his sword swinging so fast Aelin could barely follow it. He battled his way across the metal bridge of the tower, into the stairwell beyond. Like he'd fight his way down the ramps and onto the battlefield itself. Below, a boom began. Morath had brought in their battering ram.

Aelin smiled grimly. She'd bring them all down. Then Erawan. And then she'd unleash herself upon Maeve.

At the opposite end of the field, the khagan's army pushed, gaining the field step by step.

Not helpless. Not contained. Never again.

Death became a melody in her blood, every movement a dance as the tide of soldiers pouring from the tower slowed. As if Lorcan was indeed forcing his way down the interior.

Those who got past him met her blade, or Rowan's. A flash of gold, and Gavriel had slaughtered his way into the siege tower as well, twin blades a whirlwind.

What Lorcan and the Lion would do upon reaching the bottom, how they'd dislodge the tower, she didn't know. Didn't think about it.

Not from this place of killing and movement, of breath and blood. Of freedom.

Death had been her curse and her gift and her friend for these long, long years. She was happy to greet it again under the golden morning sun.