#please keep the ee memes coming I live for them

[paz-45]

This is exactly how I imagine the EE creative process

[vulturevanity]

Could you please tell us about Tales of Terin.

Oh my gosh. Yes I can. This will get long so bear with me.

Tales of Terin is my project for a fantasy series set in the world of Terin, which is populated by anthropomorphic animals in a magical society inspired partly by the culture of the region where I live, partly by Iberian Europe and South America from around the 17th century -- more specifically, Colonial Brazil (which at the time was under Portugal). I just got tired of fantasy settings based almost exclusively on Central and East European cultures and wanted something closer to myself.

I'll keep this post to a sparknotes version of the lore up until the inciting incident, because it will get long enough without me trying to summarize the world at large AND the entire story AND all the characters, and also I've posted extensively about some of those aspects in previous posts (I may make a masterpost with links to all the relevant stuff because the tag is a mess of character memes, inspiration pictures and some outdated art shfkfjdk)

Anyway lore

Magic in this world comes from five extremely Sacred Stones whose existence in-universe is somewhere between rumour and myth. There are two known gods, Telgaros and Haedin. It's widely believed Telgaros "died", because people were being shitty and he allegedly wanted to wipe them out, so Haedin went "nah" and turned him into the stars, then became the sun herself.

Pretty story, there are even holidays about it, but it's very much not true.

The gods are alive, and they lied. There is a third god no one knows about who's imprisoned Somewhere due to Reasons, they're Pissed About It, and Haedin and Telgaros are currently having a pretty heated debate on whether or not they should free them. And since this somehow concerns the mortals, they're bringing the fight to Terin.

So. Terin. There's this continent called Guaraitá (Gwah-rah-ee-TAH). If you're a merchant or noble living there, things are pretty nice. If you look like you might be trouble, though, get ready to have a bad time. It's what happened to Ani, the jailbird, one of our main characters. He used to be a high-grade thief along with his childhood friend and partner in crime Agatha. They scammed nobles out of a pretty penny for years, until Agatha fell in love with one of their targets and betrayed him. Just like that: sentenced to 25 years in the dungeons. The justice system is pretty nasty to people who mess with nobles.

But then something funny happened. A decade before the end of his sentence, the rich guy who threw him under comes up and offers to pardon him if he manages to track down Agatha and bring to him their child, whom he'd never got to meet, as his health is deteriorating and he needs an heir. Huh. That's one hell of a way to find out she'd ditched her noble lover while pregnant. Ani's feeling pretty bitter about... everything right now so he takes the offer out of spite, pretty certain he knows her enough to find her even after 15 years.

So he gets Parole Bracelets put on him (more on that here) and sets off to the very quaint Sun Village, a rural town at the edge of a beautiful forest. The fertile ground is great for farming, the DuBach family (renowned for their grade-A dewcattle*) is even established here, but mostly it's small commerce and a tight-knit community. And there, on that morning, in their old hometown, as Ani predicted, he sees Agatha. He finds her at the farmer's market, a smaller, lighter-furred version of her clinging to the hem of her dress.

He feels approximately 37 different emotions when their eyes meet, and after a minute of looking at him like he's a ghost, she manages to reluctantly invite him for coffee and cake later at her house. Which he accepts, partly because he really, really missed Agatha, partly because he's planning to be extremely petty and vengeful and abduct the little pup -- Jade, he learns -- and bring her to his patron against her will because fuck Agatha, he hates Agatha, and he has a job to do.

But he never gets the chance to, because at noon the town is gone, engulfed in flames, as are the entire forest and the crops and most of the dewcattle. The terinians who survived the giant wave of magical fire are desperately running around trying to save themselves, their friends and their valuables. Ani knows he won't get pardoned if he brings back a corpse, so he bolts to Agatha's house and finds her crushed under rubble, having shielded little Jade from it (Jade herself got hit while trying to grab her little accordion and fell unconscious). With her dying breath, she begs for forgiveness and for him to take care of Jade. He uh. He takes Jade and leaves without a word.

After the chaos dies down and grief sets in, the fraction of the village's population that survived congregates at the edge of town, where Malvina DuBach is organizing the people so her friend Rusty can use his healing magic to help everyone he can. As Ani approaches, Rusty recognizes the little Jade and immediately tells him to jump the line so he can heal her. They introduce themselves, Ani tells them he's taking her to the Capital, and they offer to take him there in their wagon, since they're coincidentally also going there. He reluctantly takes the offer, since the journey back on foot would take too long.

Not two days after, they're intercepted by a stranger who introduces himself as Theo, says the world is starting to end and he needs help stopping that. Shenanigans ensue, they end up embarking on a worldwide journey for the Sacred Stones.

Any follow-up questions?

Oh, also Magnolia caused the fire.

Edit: oh, forgot to clarify: Dewcattle is what they call the equivalent of cows in this world, because non-sapient animals are fusions between normal animals and bugs. In this case they're cows who are also aphids. Pretty fluffy and produce honeydew instead of milk.

[florenceandthemachine]

tell me your thoughts on long distance stackson. jackson goes to london and expects everyone to move on and forget about him, but of all people, stiles texts him constantly. every day, almost. and then texts turn into phone calls, and calls turn into facetiming. talking to stiles becomes the highlight of his days - he gets up at 5 am every day just so he can say goodnight to stiles before he goes to bed, and he gets addicted to his sleepy smile and his bed head and fuck, he misses him.

what? thoughts about long distance stackson? you mean, the type of situation where Jackson leaves for England and Stiles doesn’t even get the chance to say goodbye, he just happens to have called Erica, who mentions that she was on her way back from dropping Jackson off at the airport? wait, you mean the kind of thing where Stiles is bitter for all of an hour before he decides that the best way to get even is to piss Jackson off by obsessively texting him? you mean Jackson who lands and gets a hundred notifications on his phone, all from Stiles, and suddenly, they’re having a conversation simply based off of Stiles being mad at Jackson for leaving?

yeah I have maybe thought about it a few times or always.

it would piss Jackson off at first, how frequently they talked. because he LEFT beacon hills for a reason. he left in a hope that all those fuckers would leave him alone, and their lives would move on, and HIS life would move on, and he could forget about all the kanima were banshee bullshit that was his high school career. but noooo, of course Stiles has to fucking keep him tethered to that hellhole, of COURSE it would be Stilinski weighing him down.

he spends the first week waiting to blow up—waiting or stiles to tell him to come back, or snap at him for leaving, or be a dick about London in general, but their conversations are frequent, and only surface-deep, and sometimes Jackson gets an entire play by play of the midnight movie Stiles is watching (while Jackson is getting ready for his day, because time zones are a fuck), and other times he wakes up to a single message on the phone commenting on some meme or something and that's it.

stiles would send him COUNTLESS pictures, but of things that didn’t matter. a funny dog from the internet? sent. a weird looking shrub? sent. a picture of drunken Scott, curled over a build a bear with an arm missing, literally crying? sent, absolutely, to everybody. but first to Jackson. Jackson sends one picture back, and that is it, a picture of his middle finger. stiles sets it as his wallpaper.

Jackson isn’t mad anymore as they talk, and then Jackson is mad all over again, because what the fuck? he left the state, the fucking country, and the ONLY fucking person who is talking to him is stiles? What happened to his real friends, to the people that said he cared about him, to the... anyone who was fucking there for him in the world. Why was it just Stiles that was left?

He responds to his emotions as well as he usually does, meaning he throws his phone against the wall and then doesn’t text Stiles for three days, not bothering to replace his phone because he is that mad and that stubborn.

but then... then he is lonely, and that’s even worse than being mad. so he gets a new phone, turns it on to a hundred or so messages, and finally types out a reply.

Sent: it isn’t fucking fair, Stilinski. Received: I know it isn’t, jacks. it never is. ... Received: wanna see a cute picture of a sloth? Sent: I guess. and don’t fucking call me jacks.

and they text and they call and they go back and forth for months, but suddenly, everything changes when stiles sends a simple message. “I miss you.” that’s it, three words, and suddenly things are clicking together in Jackson’s head as he replies with “I miss you too.” and then he's apologizing, for being such an asshole while they were in school, and for being so cruel of a person in general (he has made a lot of progress in therapy, okay) and he is almost crying when he just gives up and calls Stiles, forgetting that it was well past midnight, and he and Stiles talk for almost an hour, and they both cry a few times, and then... things are different.

Stiles texting isn’t just Stiles texting anymore, it’s positive messages, it’s kindness, it’s encouraging things that get Jackson through his day. Jackson’s responses aren’t just tolerant or one or two words at a times, he... hell, he sends selfies now, and he’s even smiling in a few of them. when he says have a good day, he means it, when he says he misses stiles, there’s something else there. Stiles, as is per usual, is the one who moves things along—he takes one picture, just one, of him at the pool with the rest of the pack, and now Jackson... can see all of Stiles’ body.

sent: you look good, Stiles. I'm really glad to see you’re taking care of yourself.

It isn’t until he sends the message and is getting ready for bed that he realizes it’s the first time he has called Stiles by his first name.

meanwhile there’s a new message on his phone from Lydia—the first since he left—and it’s a picture of Stiles, gaping at his own phone, blushing from head to toe. “You guys are good for one another. Don’t fuck it up. Love you.”

Jackson breaks out the wolfsbane whisky because needs to get drunk (well, not needs to, but it makes things easier) before he can text what he wants to really say, and even then, it’s a way-toned down version of what his thoughts really are. It’s just a little “hey. I really like you and also care about you. also you are cute. don’t be a dick and make a big thing about it.” but after he hits send, Jackson can hear his heart beating out of his chest, and his nails are sharpening against his will and he can feel the spiral coming (god, that was so stupid, who does he think he is, obviously Stiles has better things to do than—) and his phone buzzes again.

“Jesus dude, it took you long enough, I've been planning out our first e-date for like three weeks.”

and suddenly Jackson is calm again, his heart rate slowing, a dopey smile on his face as he makes fun of the phrase “e-date” but then agrees to go make popcorn and put on the same Marvel movie that Stiles does at the same time, so they can talk on the phone and make fun of it in the background. It’s adorable. It’s a perfect first date, and if Jackson happens to say “I would kiss you goodnight right now if I could.” when the movie is over, and Stiles happens to respond “I would like that a lot.” well, no one else needs to know.

things progress as they usually do. Jackson is there, Stiles is cute, Jackson is a hot mess, Stiles is texting him about a really dangerous plan that might end with him biting the dust, and—wait, what? Stiles goes dark after sending that message and it takes every fiber of his being to not book a flight that night, and he’s two steps from clicking the “Purchase Now” button online when Stiles finally texts him back. He gives up and calls, and thankfully Stiles lets out a “sorry” before a “hello” and all the anger is gone, it’s just Jackson and Stiles and the crushing reality that something could have happened.

“I care about you, Stiles. I really fucking do. Please just... wait for me to get back before you do anything too stupid, okay?”

Stiles is for once at a loss of words.

“You... you’re coming back? I thought you left for good, I thought we were never going too ee you again, I thought... I thought I was never going to see you again. Isn’t that place home now?” “Stiles... Home is you. Don’t look too much into it, okay? It just is. Fuck off. Stop making me feel feelings and just stay safe for like three minutes!”

He hits “Purchase Now” and is on Stiles front stoop in two days.

It’s only temporary—a visit—but as he kisses Stiles in midday in California, he thinks that it’s nice to know what home feels like again.

--

also I have a lot of thoughts of their relationship starting long distance. like, if they met online while Stiles was in Cali and Jackson was in New York but that is very different than what you asked (not like that’s stopped me before!) so let me know if you want me to yell about that for an hour.

[fyrapartnersearch]

[21+] Fandoms!

Hey all, thanks for dropping in to have a gander at my post of wants and needs. My name is Froo, I’m an old, old hag (25) who studies biochemistry and marine-biology and at the moment, I teach people how to play Dungeons and Dragons for a living. Before we get into it all, let me make some things clear, if you don’t mind.

If you don’t intend to engage with me ooc, or place your focus solely on the roleplay, we aren’t meant to be. I have to click and create chemistry with my partners, and if we can’t do that, the roleplay will grow stale and sorry. In turn, I’m looking for someone I can create pinterest-boards with, spotify-playlists, cross-reference musicals and make stupid, senseless memes. I have a degree in Illustration, so you can bet your bottom dollar that I’ll be drawing our characters when inspiration takes me. I love nothing more to draw out characters, swooning, in and out of love. I would also like someone who is typically quite active, not always to reply, but just to chat and just generally make friendship with. I ideally spend more time becoming friends with my partners than simply hammering into the role-play. I also will not roleplay with people who do not double, nor write a/a. I’m not interested in your solely male or female characters. Give me a plethora of icons to work with, please.

As a typical rule of thumb, I do not roleplay with anyone under the age of twenty-one. Sorry folks, it’s just how I do. I also rarely write in-depth NSFW scenes. Take it up with me, if you must, but I hope you understand. Rarely does not mean never. There must be a given context and fulfilment to the plot for it to occur. I typically feel more comfortable writing with women over men. Sorry lads!I play all genders, ships and pairings. Please match up in this regard, I want to explore the palette of all friendships and relationships. My replies are typically quite lengthy, but I can cut down to about 500-600 words, if required. I only write in third-person and I expect you to do so as well. I adore crying and swooning over characters and plots. Please let us create mood-boards, playlists, art and stupid threads between us. That’s my absolute favourite, that’s what I thrive on.

Now that we’ve found ourselves beyond my preferences, let’s talk about plots and fandoms! I’m looking for a number of fandoms and specialities within them. Keep in mind, this is only my wants- Like I said, I am happy to double, so we can work something out.

-Warhammer: Age of Sigmar, or any typical fantasy-setting: I’m currently looking to use my female-skaven, Ishret in a roleplay. For those of you well-versed in Warhammer’s universe, please don’t berate me. I understand that there are no “canon” female Skaven, save Broodmothers, but I want to expand on the idea of Skaven society. Giant rats. I love them and I love them a lot. I’m currently reading Thanquol and Boneripper and from that, I would like to find usage of my Female Skaven, Ishret; a chosen-pup of the Horned Rat who abandons the stereotype of Skavenblight and sets off on her own, battling the will of the Horned Rat the entire time.

-Fallout: New Vegas: I’m incredibly hard to persuade on this one, as I’ve already got one writer who fulfils all the dark, deep loves for this game-instalment. Still, if you come to me with a banging crew of characters, I’d be more than pleased to introduce you to mine. I’m predominantly searching for plots involving Caesar’s Legion and the lore that was denied to us in the actual game-instalment. I want to explore Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada… I had a plethora of Legion characters I can play and I look forward to making more/ playing against more.-

Star-Wars; I’m deeply interested in the extended lore of the Star-Wars Universe and have been learning about the extended universe. For this, I’m interested in one particularly cursed ship; please don’t judge me. I’m so sorry and tragic. But bare with me! I would really appreciate a canon/oc ship between my Imperial-Agent, Vitani, and Director Krennic. I know it’s such an outlandish ship, but I’m a terrible person and I love bad people who melt around one another. Again, I’m happy to double and accommodate with your own dedicated ships. Perhaps antagonistic to our own?

-Stardew-Valley; Again, I would like to expand on the lore placed in-game. There isn’t much to say about SDV other than I love the slow, timely pace of the game and would love to experience that with a dedicated partner. My ideal ship for this setting is my farmer, Hunter and Elliot. As mentioned previously, I would double to accommodate your ship.

These are all the fandoms I’m interested in currently. Please feel free to speak to me, I’m typically active and I enjoy seeing how it all plays out. Until next time, peace! Please contact me on Discord; froo-men-TAR-ee#8068

[ronmanmob]

[ lay ] – for the sender’s muse to lay their hand in the receiver muses’ hand. {A Prince in his Tower}. By now, Beth knows the rules by heart, even if she tends toward a certain immunity. However there seem to be more guards about and Ron has been a bit out of sorts this morning. She uses the closeness of other visitors to scoot closer, and blow the table, hidden between them, she places her hand to his, pinky to crooked pinky. It isn't a hug but hopefully enough. Facing the day together.

Intimacy Of Hands Meme

..They’re watching us..Watching..Watchin’..Ron..Ron..D’yah remembah where I put th’sawn-off?..Floorboards..S’undah th’floorboards..Mum’ll nevah find it..She don’t know abaht th’boards..Quiet..Lift ‘em quiet..Got notes dahn there too – fifty pahnd..Don’t tell ‘er..Keep it ‘idden..We’ll need it when we..

The warmth on the back of Ron’s hand translated wrong at first; sent his brain down a new tangent—radiators and aloneness within sterile walls, just like the ones he lived within now. He didn’t like that feeling, so twitched his hand away; sank back under. When he got to where he’d been before though, Reggie, darling much missed Reggie who’d reminded him about the shotgun under their floorboards in Fort Vallance was gone. Numbness and silence pervaded for a long moment, slow thoughts that weren’t memory invading before…relief…

..Ronnie luv..

May.

That was May.

..Let th’boy be Charlie..’Ee c’n box if ‘ee pleases..

..Only if dad..

..No. That man ain’t ‘ere now. Th’tournament’s Saturday. ‘Ee c’n box if ‘ee pleases..

..Ain’t our mum..

..Excuse me?..

Outside, Ron’s jaw worked gently; the implication of a chew being had on some dry bread as he watched Wise Charlie and his Aunty square off across the kitchen table. He couldn’t see them as such, couldn’t see anything really despite how his eyes were open. But he could hear them as clearly as if he was there, and could taste that dry loaf’s ghost too.

Warmth at the back of his hand again and this time, because he’d give or take gotten used to it after the initial touch, it came in gentler; didn’t invoke the radiator from his long ago first committal at nineteen. It was too soft to come off harsh metal, this touch, too gentle and familiar and it…It grasped, which radiators didn’t, couldn’t.

Eyes once blinded by medication clouds, once fixed in the middle distance blinked uncomfortably once, twice. They felt dry and tired, but they tracked downwards all the same; found the hand that’d taken so delicate a hold of his; found the woman it belonged to and muzzily, through the haze, fixed on her. It was a thinking through treacle day today – it must be, for her name escaped him – but that didn’t mean Ron's heart didn’t know her; didn’t mean the finger she’d caught hold of didn’t curl all it could round hers.

[ask-svt-hearteu]

“to all admins (who are so beautiful it is sO UNFAIR) : it’s me!!! sofia ahaha and im sending this a lil early because i wont be home for christmas (:p) and i’d like to thank all of you because i can’t send over gifts due to the ocean. damned water. somewhere in december, i think on the 14th??? i will have known this blog for 5 months ! which isn’t that long but im looking forward to spending many more weeks and months on this wonderful blog. all the admins are so, so friendly, nice, amazing, interesting, beautiful, etc etc. thank you for talking to me ! thank you for being here for me during the tough times! thank you for your advice, thank you for your jokes, your rants, your posts, your everything. this blog has given me as much joy as seventeen does. really! i’m so happy i stumbled upon this blessing of a blog when i was still a baby carat and needed more knowledge. 

but please, you guys, get enough rest okay? i heard that someone (like joshua’s wife cough) doesnt get enough sleep and i swear im flying over. all of you are humans and you need rest. you all are in school and you need rest from school (which can be a pain lets be honest) and a break from writing. remember, we, as your readers and fans, care more about your health than how fast you answer our asks. we want you all to be happy and we wish we could give you back the happiness youve given us with this blog. i hope that in 2018, the blog will earn many,many more followers, the admins will make many more friends, and get more supporters (ok but i still dont understand why and how people send hate to the admins?? like fuck you man, these people work so hard arghhh don’t send them hate just because you’re pathetic and lonely and deprived of love and all the good things in life. Legit everytime I see a post about a hater i want to throw a pan at the shithole who hated on these amazing creatures. @jun @minghao @hoshi @scoups jom let’s go beat up the haters im bringing my frying pan and my sunat knife y’ALL BETTER WATCH OUT LATER KENA I SUNAT YOU) drink water, not alcohol : okay sO YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT A HUMAN IS ALLOWED TO BE A TALENTED WRITER, PRETTY ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL AND BE A SINGER ????? JESS IDC WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE G O R G E O U S YOU’RE SO QR3UBFD-BGQIF and you’re so talented and friendly and n i c e. You’RE SO HARDWORKING AS WELL YOU’RE IN YOUR LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL WRITE ON THIS BLOG AS OFTEN AS YOU CAN (it really touched me when i told you me and my best friend were fighting and you sent me tons of dino pics and tagged me in pictures of him. that really cheered me up , thank you :D) i think you’re the first admin i started to talking to hahahaha and even though im really annoying you still talked to me? like ?? i heard that you’re in your last year of high school and i wish you the best of luck !!! do only what you want to do. Don’t stress about choosing the right college/uni or the right course, just do what you want to. Please take your time with the blog, college tends to stress writers out and whenever you feel stressed rEST PLEASE. pls make many many new friends in college and have a better diet than ramen 24/7 which doesnt sound too bad but that’s a lot of sodium. i hope everything goes well for you but remember if anything goes wrong or u just wanna talk im here! love youuu bb. 10:10 : ok sERI. WE REALLY NEED TO FIND TIME TO TALK because whenever i text you you’re in class and whenever you text me im about to sleep (damn these timezones) sighh. it’s okay if i ever have kids, i’ll sell them and buy a plane ticket to meet you. okay when i first started talking to you i was really impressed because you’re really..tough? like i really people with thick skin and people who don’t give a shit about what other say and tbh i’m trying to be more like that. people like that are so cool !! and ur so pretty and cool sighh im so jealous (you have vv nice lips dONT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY I JUST THINK THEY’RE VV PRETTY oR dO I) also you’re really smart ! like you’ve gotten full marks for a test like woah hoshi is so lucky. i hope you remain thick skinned and brush the haters away, but it’s okay to feel bad once in a while, you’re only being human. but you can talk to me any time you feel down or u just wanna talk or rant or vent. i hope you don’t stress about school, please take a break if you have to (i dont want you to go away i want you to get the rest you deserve)anyways i love you ! my name is soonyoung, call me soon : APA KHABAR MY MALAYSIAN FREN ahaha im soooo happy i met you on tumblr. *ur the aesthetic queen* . i hope that we meet in person soon or one day because we live in the same country and won’t it be cool to see each other? we should have a photoshoot together. speaking of photoshoot im very happy to have a model sensei to teach me how to pose. also ur one hell of a sweetheart. you always share fandom things with me and i tend to fangirl in the middle of tesco or class because of you. hmm if seventeen ever come back to malaysia we should meet at their concert, given both of us are going. i’d really love to know more about you lmao you’re so interesting and you’re really patient with me!!! which is reallly nice. okay bb let’s find a date when both of us are free and leggo have some fun. i hope you don’t ever have to feel sad. well actually i think sadness is vital to humans so maybe anger. i hope you’ll continue to be very peaceful and freak out w carats and kpop fans across the glose and i hope that one day you’ll see naega hosh up close and p e r so nal. ilysm bb xxx my i geddit because wo ai ni so ur my love heh : hello my wife /name twin ish / dancer girl / jun’s / blessing to thie world. oh my god we need to talk moreeeee. ur so funny and we’re so alike (like we both swear like pigs) but we’re different because you’re so good at dancing! heck, whenever i dance i blind people from a 5 kilometre radius. all the other admins say you could dance my i with jun and i am sHOOK BECAUSE ho l ee s h i et also do you know what i would give to see you dance with jun? i’d give up all my memes. yeah, that’s right. my knowledge of all memes and vines and fre sh a vacado. apart from your dancing skills, you’re very, very pretty. i can’t believe you think you’re ugly , sweet jisoos, you’re have… the beauty of all the sunsets in the world. you’re actually really nice (stop protesting) because you’ve listened to me rant about all the damn drama in my life and you gave me advice. and you’ve never lost your patience with me. jeez i love youuuu !!! you’ve laughed with me and sent me dino pics to make my heart explode and you were there when i did something really stupid on kakaotalk. sighhh good times amirite? well we can still talk on tumblr. i hope you continue being yourself, the amazing person you are. xx love you to bits. seventeenteenteen : i survived. you havent killed me yet. i have stuck to dino faithfully. well actually, my first bias for like, a week, was memesol but then dinosaur found his way into my heart. i know y’all are busy and it may be hard but please rest. please don’t read mean comments, please love yourselves, please eat well. please do anything that would make you happy. each and every one of you are so, so important to me and i hope all of you are healthy. the8 please rest, i hope you get better soon. scoups, i hope that fever is gone. dino, i hope you find someone that makes you really really happy and i hope you wake up with a smile on your face each day and i hope people will stop prying into your personal life because you deserve to find someone you love and you deserve to be able to love that person without hate. i hope all of you don;t feel pressured to keep away from relationships because of selfish “fans” and i hope all of you will be happy. @josh @hoshi @jun you guys, please take care of your aegis. @josh wish ur gf luck for college, @hoshi stop killing these girls w ur visuals and @jun im waiting for u and sophia’s dance duet. i love all of you with all my heart <3333 thank you for a wonderful 5 months, i hope many more will come. love, sofia xx add on : i wrote this note before jonghyun killed himself and i’d just like to say this to everyone. the admins and the readers ; please ask for help. you are not alone. people are here for you. mental illness is not and will never be a light topic. suicide is never the answer. i know it’s hard but you need to stay, because we need you. i need you. it doesnt matter if we are close friends or complete strangers : you are so important. you are strong and brave and kind and smart and beautiful and you can get through this. you have people willing to listen. if somehow the whole world refuses to listen, im here. there are people around you who care deeply about you and please, stay. if any of you feel sad about the recent tragedy, take a break from tumblr, okay? i love all of you and please, stay safe. — sofiafabulousphan”

Admin Jess: Sofia, bb T^T I honestly can’t express how much your words mean to me. I love you so so much thank you for everything. I honestly won’t deny, it’s hard. I think it will always be difficult to a certain degree to run this blog. Not that I don’t love every second of it believe me, I just (LMAO LEAVE IT TO ME TO START TEARING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF TYPING THIS) I’ve never wanted to do something I wanted to just because I can.  I don’t run this blog expecting anything in return. I do it because I genuinely love, love the happiness it brings other people, because I love seventeen and I love doing it all. If I didn’t love it with all my heart I don’t think I would have held up this long. You’re right, it’s my last year of high school. My hardest year because I decided to take a multitude of difficult classes. I have cried tears over so many classes (I’m crying writing this response omfg PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER JESS), I have had plenty of mental breakdowns, a lot of crying whenever someone simply asks me if I’m ok or suggests I get more sleep. I have been an emotional wreck all year. It is my fault though, I did decide to take challenging courses this school year, but one can only run on four hours of sleep everyday for so long and not be emotional I guess. AND I WAS TERRIFIED. I was so scared that in the course of this year, through all the difficult hours of studying and finishing homework at 2/3am in the morning before having to wake up at 6am and walk to school by 7am, that I wouldn’t have the time or effort to do just the one thing I wanted to do the most in the world. I only had one real hobby I loved doing and it was running this blog (again hella emotional and dramatic sorry it’s like one am here when I’m writing this). So I forgo sleep to get everything done. It’s not healthy but in my mind, if I gave up on this blog for one day, that one day might turn into two days, which would turn into a month, and then I’d never be able to do anything ever again just because I kept pushing it off, treating it as if it didn’t mean the world to me when it so very dearly does. OK I’M RAMBLING ABOUT MYSELF NO ONE CARES JESS AHEM,,, My point is, I sacrificed sleep for school and this blog not because I was forced to, but because if I slept, this feeling of guilt when I woke up in the morning, a feeling of “ahh I could have done more, I could have been better” would permeate my mind for who knows how long. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. I hate disappointing people. So to hear you say this blog and all the stuff we do on it makes you happy? It makes me think maybe I’m not such a big disappointment after all, and maybe if I keep working hard, I can continue making more people happier, and that’s all I really want. True, with college approaching, I can’t make any guarantees. I anticipate not being able to do anything at all, and that idea is scary too and makes me want to work even harder now while I still can. I will definitely try to get more rest though??? I mean no one likes a sleep-deprived me at 3am lmao, I may seem nice but at 3am I’m bawling my eyes out over homework and cursing at my posters and pictures of Seventeen and school and textbooks in like three different languages (it’s not pretty lol). So yes rest? Idk what that is... but I’ll try??? fjnvksjn? I think I recall when you first sent in an ask, I’m not too sure but honestly the blog is about as old as you’ve been here so thank you for being one of our first supporters (did you have a book with a flower icon hmm trying to recall)! The hate I think will always be a thing I’m sure, I just don’t know how to deal with it T-T I am very naturally a sensitive human bean, what can I say... LMAO I’M NOT GORGEOUS THOUGH it’s called filters, lighting, angles, and makeup. The only reason I look anywhere near decent is because I use a combination of those things to hide all my flaws LMAO. As for singing, I’m not super? I can sing a pitch correctly I suppose? I can sing a chromatic scale? Idk if that qualifies as good singing (I can definitely sing svt songs in broken Korean shamelessly no matter where I go though). I’m really not that good, but I’m not awful like a dying seal or smth. I don’t even think I’m a talented writer, I just try my best I guess. I do sincerely try my hardest. YOU’RE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL I 117% would listen to you rant or scream about anything and I’m just super grateful you don’t think I’m annoying lsnfdnvd. OF COURSE I THINK YOU AND CHAN ARE THE CUTEST (or you and Jongdae pick your poison;) and of course I sent all those Channie pics omfg, I’m always here if you need it^~^ Thank you for all your kind words love (AND IMMA PRETEND YOU DIDN’T CALL ME JOSHUA’S WIFE BC MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT KDFJNVKSBBDIBI I’LL CALL YOU CHAN’S WIFE ISTG I WILL) make sure to take care of yourself and you’re always welcome to come talk to me bb :)

Admin Meagan:  aaaHHHHHHH, really appreciate you Sofia ✨😩 Gosh, can't believe you wrote us sub a long essay AHAHAHAH. Also, SUNAT KAU AHAHAHAHAHAHAH (Non-Malaysians  wouldn't understand lmao) But yeeeee, thank you so so much baby for taking the time to send this ask in <3 It's been amazing knowing you and gosh you are such a sweetheart! Also, Chinese New Year is soon, let's go out together ;)) Cafe hopping at SS15 maybe? Hehe. I want my postcard AHAHA and to spend time with you of course!! <3 You are such a bright individual and Chan loves you hella lots. Thank you for always sending us such encouraging messages and for being a good pal really. But for reals, you mean a lot to me and gosh I can't wait to meet you. Also I not model material lah AHAHAH, only a certain days ;) but yess!! A photoshoot would be amazing haha, I can try to teach you some tips lmao. And yes, thank you for caring about our mental health. January hasn't been the best month for me, honestly it's been horrible but stuff like this really warms up my heart yah know. So yes, really really appreciate you man. Keep being so spunky and loveable. Take care, stay safe and I hope we get to meet each other soon ❤️

Admin Seri: SERIously SERIously, you have no idea how much this warmed my heart. ahh i so wish we could find a better time to talk, i’ll work on that :’) i’m not very good at expressing my feeling through words! and for that mianhae mianhae. in fact, that’s one very VERY COOL thing about you!!! expression your feelings isn’t the easiest and hey, use those feelings to brush for those haters. as you know love, other people’s opinions don’t effect me BUT THERE’S NOTHING WRONG with being affected! just know, those people are irrelivant, and once you realize they can’t do a single fucking thing to you unless you let them, it gets a bit better <3 but GIRL i remember you from the VERY being!!! i can’t believe you stuck around this long , you’ve seen all the changes, how much we’ve grown, it’s seriously amazing. becoming an admin (sure as hell didn’t know it back then) was definitely my HIGHLIGHT of twenty seventeen. there’s not a day that goes by where i regret it, not at all, even when our inbox is loaded or when i have writers block. and you being here along that journey warms my heart so so much! i’m not kidding sometimes i find myself in the middle of the night looking through all the comments or reblogs and GOSH i just see every single sweet sweet message you leave. AND OH MY GOD I’M ALREADY FOR SURE GONNA VISIT AJVBELJNGR IM ALREADY PLANNING TO ONE DAY TO SEE MEAGAN SO LIKE DUHHHH WE COULD MEET UP!!! just augh i’m super super grateful for you message jinja jinja ily~~~ <333 !!! {p.s. i totally wrote bodyguard reader! Chan thinking of you, ngl}

Admin Soph: As much as I love you and as much as you’re my ai. DONT GIVE UP YOUR MEMES FOR ME WTAF. MAN I LOVE YA BUT MEMES ARE IMPORTANT XD. And you might only be disappointed after watching me dance with Jun. Ah I wish we could talk more too :””) We get along so well and Im fucking positive were soulmates just looking at how similar we are XD. Ah im not really good at things like this. Im really speechless because damn boi I love ya and you took the time to write all this for us :””). Youre an angel sent from the heavens. AND ME PRETTY??? NUUUUUUUU.Just like what Jess said, filters and lighting exists. Im only cute tho (char). But youre more prettier than me love. Both inside and outside. You're as beautiful as the northern lights. And like the northern lights, you light up my dark days :””). We dont talk much but we always check up on each other man. Goddamn I love ya. I hope we can make more stupid but fun memories together ^^. And I will literally hug the shit outta you when we meet. Also can we like talk about how much we appreciate ya? You’re always in our inbox sending adorable and heartwarming asks to both Svt and us. I remember telling you that your asks about the admins literally brightens our day. How you're little “I hope the admins stay safe” means so much to us. I really hope you only experience happiness for the rest of your life. You’re a person I really appreciate and love. AS MUCH AS I LOVE JUN. HELL YEAH I SAID IT. hAHHAH Dont be afraid to come to me if you have any problem. I will always be here to talk to you and help you love ^^. Please take care of yourself too. DonT FUCKING SKIP MEALS. GET A LOT OF SLEEP OR IM GETTING CHAN AND JONGDAE. Ah im sorry if I didnt say a lot. I want to say a lot but I literally dont know what to say :””). I WILL MESSAGE YOU A LONG AS MESSAGE ON YOUR BDAY OR SOMETHING. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY TO YOU GADBSVF ASNMK. For now, I love you and take care of yourself. You are loved by a lot and I hope your life gets filled with happiness and joy. Im also always here if you ever need to talk ^^

[theday]

all for the ask memes k thnx, im looking forward to the quality content 👏👏👏👏👏👏

 falen already asked me some and i answered those here thank u so much 4 asking jen i hate u but also i love u

OK! Ready: are you looking forward to anything at the moment?

oh worm the new pokemon game lads

Innocent Love: do you remember your first crush? what was it like?

this made me laugh oh fuck again so i was like. 10 and i got a crush on this guy and it lasted for 3 years bc we were in the same class for the next 3 years rip me! but i was so fucking annoying honestly im so glad i managed to Not be like that again with my next few crushes though ofc i was still annoying 2 those and thankfully i am a changed person and honestly i just shouldnt have any crushes bc ill be annoying even if i have learnt from my Bad Past ufhfhhis

god this is is so embarrassing but when i was like 12 someone told him i liked him and i was like bitC????? and u kno normal drama shit my best friend at that time also liked him and i was like !!!!!! wow!!!!! ok!!!!!! and shit happened u know thank fuck i graduated from primary school and i never see them again 

i would send him like o*e dir*ct**n songs bc they had the [redacted] songs and essentially i would send him songs that made me think of him but we werent even friends so he never replied its so fucking funny im gna die i hate that im never talking abt it ever again

Morning Call: what time do you usually sleep and wake up?

its the holidays but i still sleep at 11pm lmofsinwij and i wake up slightly later at 9am it used to be 10am but i hate waking up later than 9am so

Puss in Boots: do you have any pets? (if you don’t, which animal would you want as a pet?)

i want a bird or cat or dog or fish or that!!! one!!! x animal i forgot the name but its kind of like a frog but flatter??? and it has like fins on the sides of its face??? its like :0 ?????? whats the animal someone hmu

Breathless: name the last thing that took your breath away

dare i say it?????????????????? minhyuk which one??? who knows

Polaris: name a place you’d like to go to and an idol you’d like to go there with

omg i instantly thought of amusement park bc i keep remembering the first episode of monsta x’s right now  gdhidnnj so id like 2 go with with hrmrmrmrmmm……… im gonna cry the first person i thought of was minhyuk

Growing Pains: how tall are you?

. 154 cm……….. sanha cant relate 

Confession: imagine your ub confessing to you - how would they do it?

this question is cancelled i dont have an ub and im not gonna list 18 whole scenarios 

Lonely: would you rather be alone with your ub or surrounded by your bias group?

surrounded by my bias group aka all 3 i love living the no bias life 

Star: what’s your star sign?

capricorn same as chae hyungwon and i will never shut up abt that fact bc it makes me happie

Again: top astro ships (doesn’t have to be romantic)

binu

socky

binjin???

Cotton Candy: compare any idol to a dessert 

rocky is warm like lava cake :-0 idk lmfao

You & Me: favourite line from any astro song

oooo weEEEEEEE 

but for real umMMmm i havent actually watched any lyric videos for astro lmao um,,,,,,, so easy to love you??? from csc idk its nice and i wanted to change my bio to that but thats 2 mch effort

Baby: if you could drink out of any of the dream bottles, which would you pick?

give me a second to watch th e baby mv agani 

ok itll be the aroha one bc its probably grape flavoured and the safest 2 consume

Dreams Come True: what do you wish for the most at this point in time?

have i answered this … i want day6 to win that best band performance award BLEASE i thought about how hard they worked and then saw that theyre losing and i almost cried idk much about cnblue so i cant say for sure but i know day6 and theyve worked so fucking hard this year with everyday6 and just?? holding concerts every month and!!!! fuck please if they dont win ill cry and now i just feel so fucking bad bc i couldve voted everyday but i didnt 

Every Minute: you’ve only five minutes left to live. which astro mv would you watch again?

csc bc i need to stream it…….

Lie: if you could watch astro perform one song live, which song would it be?

AGAIN

butterfly: what song do you relate to each member of astro and why?

hRMM (based on the nature of the song itself since i dont know the lyrics also assuming we use astro songs)

myungjun - cat’s eye bc of the the egg……. (also cant believe that video was a year ago tf) also dreams come true bc of his oWWEOOWOOWOoo

jinwoo - confession bc whenever rocky and jinjin rap together i live 2 see another day?? and you smile bc i love jinjins smile :_) and he was jamming out 2 it during the jincha radio 2

dongmin - who is this dreams come true because during the most recent jincha radio didnt jinwoo say smth like… eunwoo this is ur song…idk….

bin - crazy sexy cool since it was said the song was originally meant to be his solo song oh confession for bin too bc every time he says “Hey baby geu ael ijeo” i hear jelly instead thanks jinjin

minhyuk - run because rocky!!! singing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and fireworks bc he choreographed the dance?? iirc…. fuck lets not forget every minute.. iconic.. i love his rap in it

sanha - baby bc hes a babie and he always does the soda sound and dances its so funnie and cute what a loser lmao oh or cotton candy bc the song is rly soft and cute in general??? 

ok thats all bc if i dont stop now ill never shut up….. but searching for the links made me realize how mnay songs they have that have the same title as justin b*eber like… bin please calm urself

run: who do you turn to / what do you do when you’re stressed?

when im stressed i just dont think about it LOL so in the end i dont rly talk abt the reasons for my stress????? if i do itll be 2 falen 

crazy sexy cool: attach your favourite meme of astro

i,,,,,,,,,,,,?????????? my minds blank this is too much its not rly a meme but jinwoo saying its me during that one thing is always so funny 2 me and bell wont shut up abt it so i think abt it like every day

[ramblingsbyrhi]

some spoilt brat type wall of words

What I’m about to write isn’t going to be pleasant or enjoyable or uplifting in any way, shape or form, so consider yourself fairly warned before you complain about my whinging as the ability to stop reading is entirely yours.

This stems from the troubles I’m having with my iphone.. hear me out, a web has begun. I’ve had iphones since I was 17, I’ve been through a few of them. I’ve never had major problems though until recently when my camera started malfunctioning for absolutely no apparent reason. At first it was only through apps and then the actual camera itself started shaking and wobbling, so any time I wish to take a photo I have to use the front camera. Which I understand is absolutely the biggest first world problem, but still, I paid over a thousand dollars for a product that I expect to work for a very long time, not for a couple of years then “HEY! We’re releasing unnecessary new products.. oh, whats that? Your phone broke? Well, my! How convenient!”.

Then the classic YOU ARE LOW ON STORAGE annoying as all fuck message started appearing contiiiinually no matter how many things I went through and got rid of (funny how it used to hold over 1000 photos and now it struggles at 5.. just saying is all). I thought, okay, I’ll try the update, that might fix a few bugs, right? Wrong. Try as I might, the iOS update WOULD. NOT. INSTALL. for various reasons, including but not limited to: lack of storage, no internet connection (the wifi was full, hmm), ERROR *insert some number that I googled how to fix, to no avail*, and pretty much no reason at all, just “failed.” Thanks Apple, I really appreciate those hours of my life you wasted. No, really, I probably wouldn’t have done anything productive with them anyway and the anger inspires me.

Everyone’s saying things to me like “Ohhh my god rhi, why don’t you just get the new phone when it comes out?!”. Yeah, that’s all well and good for the average Joe Blow who doesn’t mind the monthly hundred dollar bill. And you know what? That was me not all that long ago. In fact, earlier this year I did try to update my phone and plan however had a MAAASSSSSIVEEE battle with optus who a. sent me the wrong phone b. could not help me in getting the right phone c. agreed to cancel it and nevermind the upgrade because I was over it by then and they said they’d send me a satchel to return the phone in d. never sent me the satchel e. instead sent me a fifteen hundred dollar bill f. finally understood why I didn’t deserve the bill and sent me a satchel g. sent me more ridiculous bills h. sent some debt collecting company after me i. FINALLY helped me get to the bottom of why the fuck I was being sent the bill j. FIIINNALLY agreed to me paying thirty dollars and the account’d be settled k. didn’t bother clearing things up with the debt collectors who wouldn’t leave me alone no matter how many times I explained to them that I literally owed no money as it was Optus’ wrongdoing (I was given various instructions as to clearing my dads [oh yeah, to make matters worse optus refused to put the phone into my name but were more than happy to have me open up a new plan under it] name by several employees of this company, none of which worked).  BIG BREATH. So in the end I was glad because instead of paying almost a hundred per month to have a flash new phone, I kept my (what WAS) in-perfect-condition existing phone, and saved money by only paying for the calls and data etc. per month.  So now my response to the upgrading suggestion is why? Why should I have to pay more money because of something I already paid a lot of money for that isn’t working, when it should be in order? Why would I pay thousands of dollars for something, only to have to pay thousands more to replace it when it should last, being worth a thousand dollars and all? What the fuck? CONSUMERISM IS INCREDIBLE!

So you can imagine my feelings towards Apple and Optus right now. Which got me thinking about how reliant we are on these absolute piece of shit companies who cannot get it together despite how large they are and how many people have come to depend on them. DEPEND. It’s true, it really can’t be denied. We have come to RELY on always having phones and internet with us, one hundred percent of the time. I toyed with the idea of not having a mobile, because fuck it and fuck them taking all my money for me to still lose. Plus, 10 years ago I got by fine without having one so why can’t I now? And that’s the thing. I’m honestly starting to feel like as a society who have been spoilt with technology, we have become so dependent on it and every single thing we could need being accessible, that it would be weird and at least difficult to live without. Imagine my boss when I tell her I don’t have a mobile anymore, and she’d have to call me in on my home phone (which yes, we do have, but I know many people now do not. WHAT?? HOW?! because on the internet they are RELIANT!). I can’t imagine she’d be very pleased if I were out doing groceries or at the gym or, I don’t know, just enjoying my day off, and she needed me to come in ASAP but I was not at home to answer her phone call. But that’s how things worked not all that long ago, people lived that way and dealt with it. And imagine if I had no/no access to social media. How would I make friends or remain in contact with people, or start “talking” to a guy? That’s how it goes now, isn’t it? You meet or hear of someone you take an interest in, and straight to facebook or Instagram you go, and the rest is history. We joke about it, but it’s true! Is there another way people get to know each other now? Do people even text anymore now that everyone’s all over messenger?? TEN YEARS AGO PEOPLE!!! Life honestly changed in the blink of a fucking eye. A generation ago people kept in contact without all this shit, and they managed to marry and have babies and maintain lifelong friendships! CRAZY. I honestly feel like if the internet and social media were stripped away we’d be beside ourselves (especially those who go t rid of their home phones ;) ).

It’s all too easy and far too accessible. You really can find out too much about someone so quickly now, I imagine privacy and its definition will soon work itself into language of history alongside all that Shakespeare mumble that I regretfully do not understand. And I thoroughly believe that not only is our reliance on the ease and accessibility overall negative, but as is the impact it has upon everyone’s mentality and relationships. Or, what relationships have become with the bittersweet evolution of the www. Which would be what? What are they? What do young, and even older people want these days in regards to a relationship? Let me rattle off a few ideas, great suggestion you! The term “facebook official” is no longer a joke, it’s become a serious indicator about everyone’s status, which, is now apparently the business of everyone they know and a few randoms they’ve accepted in their friend requests along the way. Once two people’s relationship is officially recognised on the FB, I think they’re supposed to chuck up a few pics (ones with kisses on cheeks and selfies in adventurous looking locations, so people know they’re blossoming) and tag each other in emotional statuses, and memes of course. That way everyone can monitor that they’re still happily in love and evolving as a couple. Instagram pics a must as well, and a little mention of each other or at least the inclusion of each other’s initials in the little bio are also a standard requirement I believe. And that way, once the pics stop being uploaded or are deleted, along with the initials and the “SHARE WITH: PUBLIC” relationship status, everyone can know that things didn’t quite work out and they’ve dived back in with the other fish and considered a potential catch until they decide to have a bite of the next one, and the process repeats.

And repeats. And repeats. Or, doesn’t repeat. Because all of that really IS a huge commitment. Like, not only is keeping up appearances online an awful big exercise, but so is the stuff from the olden days that unfortunately we’re still supposed to do a little bit of, like spend genuine time with your SO, surprise them with gifts and flowers, introduce them to your family, begin your futures together, not jack off over other people’s instagrams, commit. Oh, my apologies, how silly of me to suggest that nan and pop jacked off over other people’s instagrams! Hahaha. No, back then these factors never came into play, because they didn’t exist. And by no means am I saying that pop never had a look up another girls ankle length skirt as she paraded up the staircase with a boy from out of town at the local dance, hell, he probably did that several times. PER DANCE. Or flirted with the bar lady at the pub after work, before he came home to nan’s incredible cooking and kept home. But he didn’t get the barmaid’s name, he didn’t look her up on facebook later and sneakily chat with her on MESSENGER while nan did the washing up god bless her. He went home and they became your grandparents because they committed to each other, despite nan checking out the milkman’s bum as he trekked back up the driveway of a morning, or pop watching the perky young woman next door whose bedroom window was positioned in his viewing favour.

They didn’t have the ease of access that we have not only taken for granted, but have let shape us in shitty ways. I truly feel like, and disagree if you want but I know it exists, we’ve become so used to accessing unlimited amounts of people, that we’re always wanting more. If Beyonce is going to get cheated on, who won’t? Is cheating nowadays even the same as it was twenty years ago? Ten years? Is flirting and or exchanging nudes over snapchat cheating? Because nothing physical happened, right? People these days ask for “nudes” (and I can say this with experience) before hardly getting the name of the nude-ee, and I can only imagine the number of requests sent to various people, and the variety they’ve seen, or unfortunately kept. With accessibility comes a massive lack of respect, and it has to go without saying that the concept of respect, and where it is given and deserved, has changed dramatically since pop first kissed nan’s hand at the dance. A “nude” back then would’ve had to have been strategically photographed, developed, enveloped, stamped, sent, waited for, received, and then cherished and kept under the bed, whereas now one could’ve requested and received ten different ones in the time it took me to write this fucking sentence, and even sent two on to his or her equally tasteless mates.

Not to mention the fact that he or she asked ten different people for them would go unquestioned. What is this “talking” that people do anyway? Any time someone has suggested that they and I did “talk” or are “talking” I shudder so hard Christchurch would prepare to rebuild. I think commitment is completely different to what it once was, what with tinder and the like and phones with locks on them and snapchats that disappear, no one has to be loyal to any one person if they don’t want to, and why would they? Why commit to one cake when you could taste a few on the regular, then replace them with the right swipe of your index finger when you feel like it? “Talking” doesn’t refer to anything serious, I don’t think. It’s like when you could probably get it on with someone but you aren’t letting people know about it because you’re “talking” (fucking, I presume) to a couple of other people as well, but you aren’t doing anything wrong or disrespecting anyone really because you aren’t dating you’re only TALKINNNGGG. Have I got it? Can someone confirm, or correct me? I’m so dying to know. And there are that many gorgeous humans in the world, no one can blame you for wanting to window shop and even go try on some things whilst doing so. There’s always going to be a prettier dress, or a comfier hoodie, or a new colour of vans. You can’t just buy the first or fifteenth you see, just in case. Missing out would be THE WORST. And you don’t owe it to any of them to discuss the predecessors or… (what’s the word for predecessors but happening at the same time? anyone? no word? funny that) if you are only talking and you’ve made it clear that that’s all you want. No commitments or relationships here, no sir-eee! And then suddenly your 30th birthday is coming up and you kind of feel like maybe you should have built a life with someone by now but you were too busy gaining notches in your belt and you still aren’t sure which dress you want the most so maybe you’ll give it until 35 before you make a massive decision and settle down and stop unknowingly spreading chlamydia. Maybe. There are far too many babes on Instagram to get through but hopefully another five years will get you close.

I do apologise for the tangent and apparent change in tone, but like I said earlier a web really formed in my mind at the shit performance of my phone. I suppose what I’m kind of but super not really getting at (or trying to, at least), is as great as technology is, I do think it’s really fucked up (a better term cannot be accessed at this time, not unlike the iOS update, strange). The idea of growing up around the time that my dad did, or even before, constantly lingers in the back of my mind. And yes, believe me I realise how pathetic that is coming from me as a type this contradictory slab of words; please understand that I’m grateful for the ease in which I can type up my thoughts as they occur, then share them and quite possibly connect with someone anywhere in the world who can relate at the mere click of a button and copy of a link (poor old pop might think I’m talking about imitating a chain). But I do sometimes feel like a lot of us have missed out on developing respect for each other and relationships of our own in ways that we’ll never even come close to within our society. We don’t put up THAT much of a fight at the fact that companies suck us in and take us for all we’ve got because they KNOW we can’t live without them and the latest and slimmest ever phone in existence. And I can only imagine living like this will only intensify and worsen as we advance in technology and the speed in which we can slide into people’s “dm”s. Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s all in my head, but I decided a long time ago to stop holding my breath if even Beyonce had to.